A DIALOGUE Between Monmouth-shire, AND YORKSHIRE.  
About Cutting RELIGION according to Fashion.  Mon. 
THis Religion (Mr. Yorkshire) is a very Seasonable Garment; cool in Summer, hot in Winter, and Suits with Spring and Autumn both.  York. 
Ay in troth, so 'tis; and I have a good mind to make me a Cloak on't; for that's the Wear I fancy most.  M. 
Why a Cloak, prithee?  Y. 
Oh, Sir, Have you never experimented the Conveniency of that Garb? I'll tell you how it saved me a Scouring once, when I met my Tutor full-but with my Neighbour's Cock under my Cloak, who enquiring what I had got, was soon satisfied with this answer; 'Twas a Rider's Dictionary: God-a-mercy Cloak for that shift: I had as certainly gone to pot as the Cock did afterwards, had not my Cloak hide the Roguery.  M. 
Well, and ever since you love the wear.  Y. 
Ay, and ever shall do as long as I live for several substantial Reasons; whereof I give this as one: That a man in a Religious Cloak may walk incognito, carry Vice on with Virtue's Face, present his Friend a Dagger; when he expects but a How do you; and a shake by th'hand; appear upright, though stigmatised and ill stamped by Nature.  M. 
But what piece of Religion do you fancy most to make a Cloak on? There's the Protestant-piece, the Présbyterian piece, the Romansingers, Independents, Quakers, and the Lord knows what?  Y. 
I know that well enough, but the Roman-piece for me, that's the Original, and is most in Fashion all o'er the World.  M. 
Don't tell me of Rome, France, Italy and Spain, and them Foreign Places: I am for what is most worn in my own Country, and for that which my Father wore before me.  Y. 
Now you say something; ha', ha', ha'! Your Father wore before you, quoth the man; prithee how dost thou know what  thy Father wore?  M. 
Why I am sure 'twas a Protestant Cloak.  Y. 
Ay, but what was the Coat and Breeches?  M. 
Faith I can't tell that, for the Cloak was always wrapped so close about him, that the Devil himself could not see what Cut the Suit was of.  Y. 
Well with what Antiquary will you consult for the Fashion?  M. 
Hold I-I-I have a pretty pattern of a Breeches; but I—  Y. 
Something like that on Oliver's Half-Crown.  M. 
Ay, ay, 'Twas the Half-Crown I had in my Head.  Y. 
Pox o' that pattern, it cost my Father a whole Crown, and I hate the Fashion ever since, and dare not countenance it, lest it should cost me one too.  M. 
Prithee, what dost talk of Fashion? This is all the difference 'twixt ours and yours: We cut our Cloth according to Religion, you your Religion according to your Cloth; we make interest according to Religion, you Religion according to Interest.  Y. 
Ay this Religion and Interest go glued together with you and us too; for which reason I'll make me such a large Roman Cloak, that shall be subject enough for three Kingdoms to talk of.  M. 
I'll lay you a Crown; my Breeches in Octavo, shall raise as much discourse as your Cloak in Folio.  Y. 
Prithee don't think to bubble me out of my Crown so: I know not what correspondence you have with the Rabble, I will not hazard any thing to their wavering Fancy.  M. 
That which you term Correspondence, perhaps may prove such Influence, as shall be able to trounce you out of Fifteen Shillings; then how will you look when 've lost Three Crowns, if you stick so much to hazard One.  Y. 
Trounce me! what's trounce me? I am sure you can't get it by Fair play, and therefore you must use some Cheat; and malè parta, malè dilabuntur, what's got over the Devils Back, is spent under his Belly. But God bless him that holds the stakes.  M. 
Amen, from you and all Yorkshire Blades.  Y. 
Why from all Yorkshire Blades, do you think there's none sound and honest of them.  M. 
I can't tell how sound you are, but this I'm sure, there has been a sad Murrain among you: Neither know I your honesty, but I believe there's not one of you would stick to cut his Brother's Throat for interest, and that your red lettered Calendar signifies well enough.  Y. 
Prithee don't pretend to be so much of a Head-piece, as to make expositions on any thing: What's what is enough for you.  M. 
Marry, but I know I may lawfully pretend to any Head-piece more than you, either to the Fore-piece, or Hind-piece, but especially to the Crown-piece.  Y. 
I confess you might have had better pretensions than I far to't, had you not met with that unlucky Knock in your Cradle, which cracked your Crown.  M. 
I value not that Knock, though it beat it flat; for I doubt not when the College of Physicians shall set in common bonum (for every ones disease) but they'll take me into cure too, and settle my Crown fast enough I'll Warrant you, and I am resolved to stand the Touch.  Y. 
Perhaps your Body of physicians may work extraordinary things, and alter even Nature's course contrary to all right and reason; but I believe you must Fee 'em high.  M. 
Nothing shall be wanting toward so extraordinary a Cure, neither diligence nor confidence; and then with what a Jesuitical Face will you look?  Y. 
Troth I shall have reason enough to put on a sour countenance, but stay till it comes.  M. 
I'll wait the opportunity, and pray done't you use means to hasten it.   

LONDON, Printed for W. R. 1681.