A DIALOGUE BETWIXT Whig and Tory, Alias Williamite and jacobite. Wherein the PRINCIPLES and PRACTICES of each Party are fairly and impartially stated; that thereby Mistakes and Prejudices may be removed from amongst us, and all those who prefer English Liberty, and Protestant Religion, to French Slavery and Popery, may be informed how to choose fit and proper Instruments for our Preservation in these Times of Danger.  
Printed in the Year 1693.   

To the KING.  
SIR,  
THOUGH the Sacred Majesty of Kings (I am sensible) ought not in common Cases to be approached by every little Busy-body, or frivolous Remonstrance-maker; yet when our Prince's Palace is on Fire, and his Sacred Person in the midst of Flames, the meanest of his Subjects hath the Privilege then to give him warning of his Danger, and to assist to quench the Fire: And this I am afraid, Sir, is at present too near our Case, or I would not have assumed the Boldness to disturb your Repose, or have placed myself so disadvantagiously before your Majesty, as I must expect to appear, under the Character of a Public Censor of the Manners of your Ministers, and a petty State-Reformer. But it is not I alone that am thus concerned and busy for the Public; the whole World are at this time mournfully reflecting upon the miserable Estate we are fallen into from that happy and glorious Prospect of things which we had in 1688 and 1689: This hath put all Men upon Enquiry into the Causes of the unhappy Change of our Affairs; and I find it agreed on all Hands, That the principal occasion of our Misfortunes (or rather Mismanagements) is from the intrusting those with the Government of all, who were the Creatures and Tools of the two last Reigns, and are irreconcilable Enemies to your Majesty's Government; those who opposed your coming to the Crown; those who declared to your Face King james the only Rightful King; Those who sold their Country and betrayed it to the two last Kings, and will be always ready to sell it even to the French King, if he prove the fairest Chapman.  
I have heard that Thurloe, who was Secretary of State to Cromwell, being asked by King Charles II. how they did support their Government so long, when all the Nobility, Gentry and Clergy were against it? he replied, By intrusting those only in the Management of all Affairs, who were as heartily against that Nobility, Gentry and Clergy. I do not apply this literally; for, God be praised, your Majesty hath a great part of all these several degrees of Men, who are most heartily and zealously in your Interests: But I mean by this, that you are to oppose your Enemies with their Enemies, not with their Friends. And that the Design of keeping out King james with Jacobites, seems to be as impracticable, as his Project proved of setting up Popery with a Protestant Army.  
Yet there are some about your Majesty (who for base and private Ends) endeavour to possess you with the destructive Politics of courting and buying your Enemies into your Service, and would persuade you, that King James' Tories are the only Party truly principled for Monarchy, and are fittest for Employment, as being long practised in Business: And that (on the contrary) your Majesty's best Friends, whom they call Whigs, are not only ignorant, and unacquainted with Public Business, but are Haters of Monarchy, of Common wealth-Principles; and at best, for making their Kings no more than Dukes of Venice, and Kings of Clouts. Now this is a Notion so false, so fatal to the Prosperity of your Affairs, and so dangerous to the very Being of your Government, that I cannot but think it highly necessary, that this Matter should be fairly stated and laid before your Majesty: I am sensible how unfit I am for the Task, and how open I lie to a Charge of Presumption in attempting it. But as the Son of Cyrus, who was from his Birth dumb, broke Silence when he saw his Father in the Hands of his Murderers; so (since I saw no other Champion appear in this Cause) I resolved to break through all Impediments, even those of Nature, and to endeavour the Rescue of my King out of the Hands of those who have already been the Ruin of two Kings, your Majesty's Predecessors, and who will undoubtedly bring you and your Affairs into great Difficulties, if you be not delivered from their Counsels.  
In order to this, I have impartially made a Collection (in the following Dialogue) of all the Arguments which Whigs employ against the Tories, or Tories against the Whigs, and submit it to your Majesty's discerning Judgement, and most piercing and distinguishing Wisdom, (upon the whole) which of them are most proper for your Majesty to employ; those who were in the Interests of Popery and of France, or those who opposed both to the Death. I appeal to you, Sir, whether a Tory's being for the Divine Right of Succession, and consequently for King James' Monarchy, makes him the fitter in Principle to be employed by King William? Or, whether his boasted Skill in Business will be of any use to your Majesty, if he be in Principle and Inclination for K. james, and believes K. William a King de facto only, without a Rightful Title, and in plain English, an Usurper? If these Gentlemen (as their Principles will naturally lead them to do) use all their Skill in their several Stations, to obstruct and make difficult your Affairs, to betray your Designs to your Enemies, to countenance and protect K. James' Friends in all their Plots and Contrivances, furnish them with Intelligence, help them to Passes, Escapes, etc. all which things (it cannot be denied) have been and are daily done by some Persons employed in this Government: Of what Use, Sir, or Service then is this boasted Skill in Business to your Majesty's Interests? Certainly Men less conversant in Public Affairs, who have a Zeal for your Government, would be of more Use and Service to you; Men who were persecuted by K. C. and K. I. either in their own Persons, or in the Persons of their Friends, who were fined, imprisoned, and some of their Relations hanged in those Reigns, are more likely to act in earnest against K. I. and in the supporting your Majesty and your Government, than those who had their Fortunes and their Families raised by K. I. and his Brother K. C. and who hope to be raised yet more by his Return, or at least, to secure in his Government what they have got in this, by obliging him and his Friends, at the Price of sacrificing you and yours.  
For Example: Is it reasonable to believe the E. of N. whose Father and Family was raised by K. C. and K. I. for prostituting the Law (and his nauseous Rhetoric) to the Designs of those two Brothers, who himself was a Privy-Counsellor with Father Peter, and chosen by K. I. at the time of the Revolution to treat with your Majesty at Hungerford, in order to delay your Progress to London; and lastly, who so violently opposed your Majesty's being crowned King, as to lay an eternal Obligation on K. I. by it: I say, Sir, is it reasonable to believe this Gentleman so proper a Secretary of State to your Majesty, as the E. of S. who hath so mortally disobliged K. I. by being so early, and so zealous in your Interests, who went at the Head of that Message to K. I. wherein he was required to retire from Whitehall; who hath since that been so instrumental to place and preserve the Crown upon your Head; and hath, in a word, broken all Measures so with K. I. as to leave no Possibility of a Reconciliation to him, and consequently hath no Retreat from this Government, but is obliged in common Sense, to serve Your Majesty faithfully and zealously?  
Or can your Majesty think Mr. K. who (it is generally said) believes himself the Son of K. I. and it is known by all the World, owes his Fortune to him; who (if we may believe Report) at the time of the Revolution, agreed with Captain Tosyer, to carry the Ships he then commanded in the Straits to K. james in France, (had not the common Sailors very rudely opposed the Project;) who after this acquitted himself so ill at Cadiz, in letting the Thoulon Squadron pass by him in his sight, without fight them; and to conclude, hath made so unaccountable a Campagne of it this Summer; can your Majesty (give me leave to say, Sir) think this Gentleman (after all this) fitter to command the Fleet of England, than Mr. R. whose Provocations to K. I. are never to be forgiven by him; who was one of the most instrumental Men in England in placing You upon the Throne; who last Year gave you the greatest and most glorious Victory that ever was obtained by us at Sea; and whose Courage, Conduct and Fidelity the Parliament of England hath unanimously attested?  
And now, Sir, (If I may presume so far) will Your Majesty be pleased to examine what Honour, what Profit hath accrued to You, or the Nation, by your employing these Gentlemen who have of late been at the Head of the Ministry. For God's sake, Sir, cast up the Account of the last four Years Management, and see what You have gained by changing Whigs for Tories; Have not Your Affairs gone backward both at Home and Abroad? Have not Mismanagements been multiplied? Have You not cooled Your Friends, and yet not gained your Enemies? Do not almost all the Tories You employ drink K. James' Health in Your Wine, and serve Him in Your Offices? Do They not obstruct all Business which ought to be dispatched, and dispatch all Business which ought to be obstructed? browbeat Your Friends, and delay them in their most just Pretences, but comply with your Enemies in their most unreasonable Demands; nay, connive at their Cabals and Conspiracies, and snatch them out of the Hands of Justice, when the Law hath passed Sentence of Death upon them for their Treasons? Would not such Ministers and Friends as these be less dangerous to You, when professed Enemies, nay in Arms against You in the Field, than in your Council, Cabinet and Offices? Undoubtedly they would.  
But I know the common Answer to all these kind of Complaints is, That it is more easy to find Faults than Remedies. If You please therefore, Sir, we will consider of Remedies, and I think there may be some found out both easy and certain, and they are these: First, Sir, be pleased to remove from your Person, Council and Offices of Trust, Men bred up and confirmed in Principles destructive to our English Government, and hateful to Your People; and to discountenance all State-Projectors, and Mountebank-Ministers, who make Wounds in the State to recommend their Balsam: Throw out, Sir, these achan's to be stoned by the People, who will otherwise (I fear) prevent God's Favour to You; who blast Your Success Abroad, and rob You of the Affections of Your Subjects at Home, with their Accursed Thing, I mean that Tinsel Power with which these Miscreants dazzle the Eyes of Princes, and lead them out of the right way; God is displeased with it: For uncontrollable and unaccountable Power is the Right and Attribute of God alone; and (as the Scripture tells us) He will not give his Glory unto another; nor suffer those to act as Gods, who are to die like Men. Your People also will be displeased with a Despotic Power; for the Kings of England are bound by Laws, by Mutual Compacts, etc. (as You yourself, Sir, have set forth most unanswerably in your Declaration when You came over;) and if these are broken, English-Men, who believe themselves Subjects to the Crown of England, (as by Law established) and not Slaves to any particular Person 
* Otherwise K. I. would have a fairer Pretence, than I hope we shall ever allow him. ; they become impatient, angry, and at length perhaps unreasonable. And whenever they see their King beset with Ministers of Lawless Principles, (those wholesale Merchants of Arbitrary Power) they grow mistrustful and uneasy, and are apt in such Cases to shut their Purses, and open their Mouths. And give me leave to say, Sir, had not the People been made apprehensive and jealous, by seeing these Men in the Ministry, whose mischievous Methods they were so well acquainted with, and did so much abhor; no general Excise, no Loans, no Powers would have been thought by the People of England, too much to have entrusted You with; so highly they esteemed your Generous Relief of them, your unequal Courage, and the many other admirable Virtues they saw shine in You. An English King is the greatest Monarch upon Earth, when he reigns in the Hearts of his Subjects; and all other Methods to Power and Greatness have been found ineffectual in England. I remember I once saw written over a Mercer's Shop, Keep thy Shop, and thy Shop will keep Thee: and though it be a homely Allusion, it is very applicable to the present Point; Keep your Laws, Sir, and your Laws will keep You; support your People in their Rights and Liberties, and Queen Elizab●th shall pass her Royal Word for them, they will support Your just Prerogative at Home, and Your Honour Abroad. And, Sir, by the way, do not let Your Flatterers give You a cheap Opinion of a Power derived from the People; for it is undoubtedly from their Consent, that all Power must come: Nor let them make You uneasy that Your Title to the Crown is from the universal free Choice of the Commons of England: Believe me, Your Ministers, nor the two Learned Bishops who have scribbled upon this Subject, will never be able to find You a better.  
In the next place, Discharge all jacobites and Trimmers from Offices of Trust: For such as either desire K. james, or from their Fear, or Wisdom, endeavour to deserve from him (so much as their Pardon) I humbly conceive are unfit for Your Service at this Juncture; though when the Government is more settled, I am for entertaining all who give Proofs of their Penitence for their past Actions and Opinions.  
But, Sir, Purgatives will not alone perfect the Cure of your Government, and restore it to perfect Health; You must make use of Alteratives too, there must be a Change of Measures, as well as a Discharge of Men: And the Method I would humbly offer is this.  
First; To make the Interest of England your chief Design and Aim; and since You are an English King, to become entirely an English Man. England is a Nation jealous of Rivals in her Prince's Favour, and thinks herself deserving of all his Care, and all his Caresses: If the People of England think You have a favourable Opinion of them, they will endeavour to deserve it; if not, they may perhaps deserve your worst Opinion too. This Humour of the Nation Queen Elizabeth found early, and applied herself so happily to it, as by this single Point to master all her Difficulties, (the greatest it may be that ever Prince had to struggle with); whereas her Successors, by contrary Measures, brought themselves into very unfortunate Circumstances.  
In the next place, Sir, let me desire You to avoid concerning yourself in Elections of Members in Parliament, or influencing them when chosen: the Parliament is a sacred part of the English Constitution, and, like the Israelites Ark of old, is not to be touched profanely, but with great Danger to those who touch it so. And therefore, Sir, it will be your true Interest to leave the People free to their Choice and to leave the Members free to their Opinions when they are chosen. It is still-fresh in our Memories, how much the Practices of the late Reigns in corrupting Elections, and Closeting the Members of Parliament, enraged the Nation, and they had reason to resent it; for if (for the sake of a Vote) a Member of Parliament shall be placed in an Office of Trust he is not fit for, this is destroying the Government two ways at once: For, to speak in the Phrase of the Ministry, it is making a Parliament of Clouts, and an Officer of Clouts at the same stroke. Rejecting Bills offered by Parliament of public Benefit, and for the securing of our Ancient Government, and the Fundamental Rights of the Subject, was highly displeasing to the Nation also in the late Reigns, and will be so in all Reigns: As was likewise the denying the People their undoubted Right of frequent Parliaments. They had also in the late Governments an Invention to make a Pump of the Parliament, and by pouring in a Pint of Water, to fetch out a Tun: This was justly most provoking to the Nation, and treasured up Wrath against the Day of Wrath.  
The refusing of Bills, and the Contempt of Addresses from the Parliament against Ministers, or in any other cases, hath likewise given great Offence in former Reigns. For though the House of Commons, seconded by the House of Lords, cannot reach the Life of Estate of any Person, but by a full Proof in form of Law; yet because it is so difficult a matter to come at such a Proof, a Vote of the House of Commons against any Minister, hath always been esteemed by all Kings (who were well with the People) a sufficient Reason for the removing them from Court; and I have heard that our King Henry the Fourth (a Warlike and a Wise Prince) upon an Address from the Parliament against some of his Ministers, replied. I know no Evil by these Men, but if they are thought unfit by my Parliament for my Service, I shall not think fit to continue them in it.  
All these things, Sir, therefore are most carefully to be avoided by your Majesty: They will appear with a worse Grace in You, who have declared and made War against these Practices, than in your Predecessors: For as St. Paul says, Thou who hast said, Ye shall not commit Adultery, dost thou commit Adultery? Thou who hast said, Ye shall not steal, dost thou steal? You must by no means, Sir, give this occasion of Clamour and Recrimination to your Enemies. But be pleased to follow this General Rule, always to beware of the Ministers, and to avoid the Schemes and Counsels of K. Charles and K. James' Government, and then You can scarce err: For whatever is opposite to their Principles and Practices, is the direct Road to your Security and Success.  
In the next place, Sir, let Rewards and Punishments be duly and impartially distributed; this is a Rule to which all Ages and Governments have paid the greatest Respect and Observance; and to which the present Monarch of France does chiefly owe the Prosperity of his Affairs: and without this Principle no Government can subsist. Your Ministers who serve You well and faithfully, must be distinguished from those who betray You, or serve You carelessly and idly; and not smiled or frowned upon as they are supported or persecuted by this or that Party or Faction. (And by the way, Sir, a Prince in England that rules according to the Laws and Interests of his People, will never have occasion to make his Court to any Party or Faction; nor can any Minister or any Party serve You against the Interest of the Nation.) Let your Soldiers be encouraged, and preferred according to their Bravery and Abilities, without Favour or Affection: The Bravest otherwise will follow the Example of Cowards, if they find they have no Advantage over them by their Courage: For all Men would be Cowards if they durst. To an English Soldier a Smile or a kind Word, is as acceptable at some times as a Month's Pay; and if you will condescend to a Commendation of what they do well, they will endeavour in the next occasion to exceed what they did before: For if You are once Master of their Love, Your are sure to have the Disposal of their Lives. Nor need You fear to punish them severely, provided You reward them bountifully. Let the Insolence of your Enemies be rebuked, and Rebels and Traitors to your Government be severely punished, and not courted and caressed; for in the present State of Affairs all Mercy to your Enemies is Cruelty to yourself and Friends: and it encourages your Enemies, and disheartens your Loyal Subjects, to see these Insolents brave the Government unpunished, and to see your treacherous Ministers soliciting the Pardon of every condemned Traitor; and making their Court to K. I. at the Price of your Safety, is most provoking to every good Man. Besides, it looks like your having a Doubt of your own Right and Title to the Government, to be thus backward in asserting it; and is so interpreted by the jacobites.  
Intelligence is another Point of mighty Consequence, and can scarce be purchased too dear: For it is the Soul of Government, and directs all its Actions properly, and without it You consult in the dark, and execute blindfold; You know not what to act, what to fear, where to attack, or where to defend: I do not mean by this that we are to penetrate into the French King's Counsels, or rifle his Cabinet, that I am afraid is out of the reach of our Power, and of our Purse; But I cannot but think we may be able to know the Marches of their Armies, and the Motions of their Fleets, without selling our Souls to the Devil for Intelligence, or breaking our Exchequer.  
Thus, Sir, I have set before Your Majesty, what, in my poor Judgement, is for your Interest to pursue, and what is for your Service to avoid; what will make your Majesty and this Nation happy, what will make both unhappy: and I heartily pray the Great, Good and Wise God, to direct, bless and prosper your Majesty in all your Glorious Designs for the Defence of these Kingdoms, and of Christendom against the common Enemy. If I have used too great a Freedom, or have offended in what I designed for your Service, I am sorry for it: I call God to witness, my Plainness proceeded from my Zeal and Affection to your Interests, and the Prosperity of your Affairs, and not from any factious, saucy, or unmannerly Principle. I wish some abler Pen had taken upon them this Part. But I must own, it provoked me to see my Country and my King so forsaken; the one of Advocates, the other of honest Counsel; and this urged me to take upon me those two Characters, of Advocate and Adviser, both which I confess myself very unfit for: Not, but that as I said in the beginning, I take it to be the Privilege, nay and the Duty too of every English Subject, (provided it be performed with a decent and due Respect) to lay before the King such Matters as may be dangerous to his Person or Government, to be concealed from his Knowledge: (for we are not tied up in England to Spanish Forms, where the King must be wet to the Skin, if he whose proper Office it is be not in the way to put on his Cloak.) And I beg your Majesty to believe what I have said is from a Faithfulness and Sincerity, which will in all Accidents and Difficulties preserve me unalterably,  
Your Majesty's most Loyal, most Dutiful, and most Obedient Subject.   

To the Honest English Protestant READER.  
Honest Reader;  
AT the beginning of the late Revolution, I dare say, it was not expected by thee or me, That it would have been necessary in this Reign, to have entered into Argument, whether the Principles of Whig or Tory are most agreeable to the Constitution of the English Monarchy; or which Party were to be chosen for the Support of our present King and Queen. But such is our Fate, that I am afraid it requires an abler Pen than mine to convince some, who it is highly necessary should be convinced, that any of the Measures of the late Reigns were mistaken: they are taught to believe those Monarches in the Right; nay, even those evil Counsellors too, which were so mauled in the Declaration of 88; and none are Rogues and Villains, and deserve to be hanged, but those who were most active in the bringing the present King and Queen over, and in setting the Crown upon their Heads. I thought it therefore high time that this Matter should be set right; and in order to it, that the Principles and Practices of Whig and Tory should be truly and impartially examined; which I have endeavoured to do to the best of my Knowledge, and shall be well pleased to see any other do it better from my poor Hint. I acknowledge the Looseness of the Style, the want of Method in the following Paper, and the many Repetitions this Dialogue way of writing is liable to, will lay it open to the Lash of every Pedant, and Schoolmaster: But know, I write not for Fame, or out of any Vanity of being an Author: And therefore I come not to you, as the Apostle says, in the enticing words of Man's Wisdom, but in Plainness and in Truth, etc. I have stated the Matter so fairly, that some of the Tories may be Fools enough perhaps to think I have given them a Victory, (and triumph as their Admirals did in their being gazetted, because the Council was so favourable, as to suffer them to pass for mistaken Blockheads, instead of wilful knavish Liars.) But indeed I thought the Tories had so weak a Plea, that I might well allow them to make the most of it, and have left nothing unsaid which I have ever heard them say in their Defence. What they have done the honest People, and the Interest of England most Mischief by, is that Shame of a Commonwealth, which I have in the following Discourse (I hope) convinced all honest Men is a false Notion, impracticable and impossible in England; however this is the Breast-work which they have always covered themselves with, when they designed to fire upon the Rights and Privileges, the Laws, Liberties and Properties of their Country: And whenever they do raise this Breast-work, we must endeavour to beat it about their Ears; I am sure it is too weak to resist any Attack, and I hope (as Bays say) They fly, They fly, They fly, who first did make that Lie. What I have here written, is with an honest Design of doing Service to my Country; and if it either happens to inform or convince any, to embrace the Public Interest, and the common Good of themselves and Fellow-Creatures, I have my end. And for the Tory Critics, they may bite till their Teeth meet through my Book, yet I shall be as insensible of their Malice, as they have been of the King's Mercy, Favour and Friendship to them. I will comfort myself, honest Reader, that I have thee on my side; and so long as thou dost continue firm in the supporting the English Laws and Liberties, thou dost build upon a Rock, against which, I hope, the Gates of Hell shall not prevail; and so long I will build upon thee, and hope for all Good from thee, and pray for all Blessings upon thee.  
Adieu.   

A DIALOGUE between Whig and Tory, etc.  Tory. 
WEll met old Acquaintance; Who would have thought seven Years ago, to have seen you and I at Whitehall together in the same Interest?  Whig. 
In the same Interest! Why, who thinks that now?  Tory. 
What, in one of your old peevish Fits? I thought now all things go to your Mind, you would have been in better Humour.  Whig. 
You were begotten, born and bred in Mistakes, and I doubt not but you will continue so to your end: yet you cannot be so gros●y mistaken sure as to think, all things go to any honest Englishman's Mind; when you, who were the Tools of the two last Reigns, the Instruments of all our past and present Misfortunes, and the declared Cause of the War which brought on the late Revolution, are notwithstanding the only Men courted by this Government.  Tory. 
I am afraid you will never be pleased with any Monarchical Government.  Whig. 
That is a Point I know you have been long endeavouring to put upon the World, but more industriously upon the Court; yet I wonder at your Impudence of urging it now, since it is so fresh in every Man's Memory, how zealously the Whigs struggled in the late Convention to settle the Monarchy, whilst you contested as zealously to make it an Anarchy.  Tory. 
We will talk more of this by and by: But if you were so instrumental as you say in setting up this Government, why are you so out of Humour with what you have made yourselves?  Whig. 
Disappointment you must allow a just Cause of Resentment: We hoped from new Lords new Laws, new Ministers, and new Methods: But if still we are to have the same Ministers, and consequently the same Methods, the very Tools of the two last Reigns, and consequently the same Work; this I take (in my Lord H— s Phrase) to be a Change, without an Alteration; and▪ in my Opinion, gives too just occasion of Dislike: and I cannot but think this way of managing Affairs, must end unhappily, both to Prince and People.  Tory. 
But how come you and I to be so concerned either for the Prosperity of Princes, who never think of us, but as we can serve some present Turn of theirs; or for the Interest of Mob, who will sing Ballads upon us under the Gallows, when we are hanging there for their sakes? Prithee Whig, grow wise, and do not torment thyself thus with State-affairs▪ let Princes take Care of themselves, and the People of themselves, and let us take Care of ourselves. My Method is, to get what I can, and let Courts do what they will.  Whig. 
Why then, Sir, with your good leave, your Method is as foolish, as it is knavish: For whoever sells his Country to a lawless Power, leaves himself nor his Family no Certainty, no Property in what he hath gotten by his Treachery; nay, his Estate is as often the Snare, as the Comfort of his Life. It proves sometimes a Naboth's Vineyard, and makes him the Eyesore of some hungry Court-Favourite. And I would ask, Whether a small Estate fenced about with Laws, and the Possession thereof secured to you and your Family, is not of more Value, than a much greater Revenue, of which you cannot assure yourself the Possession one Minute? Your Forefathers thought the Laws and Liberties of England worth their Care and Contest, and waded through Rivers of Blood to leave them in force to their Posterity. And the Church once made it an Article of their Religion, Nolumus Leges Angliae mutari: But thou dost renounce all the Principles of Humanity, of common Sense, and of Religion; and oughtest to be driven out of a Country which thou makest open Profession to sell, and betray. And as for what you say of the Ingratitude of Princes, and People, the one to his faithful and affectionate Subjects, the other to their zealous Patriots; this does not discharge you from your Duty to either. But (in Answer to the first) if you will serve Princes no farther than you serve your Country in serving them; that Service will always reward itself: and for the Mob, as you are ever pleased most mannerly to call your Countrymen, and Fellow-Citizens; if any prove so sordid as you allege, I shall answer you in the Words of our Saviour, Forgive them, for they know not what they do: And let his Example teach you better Principles, who, notwithstanding all the Scoffs and Indignities he met with, laid down his Life upon the Cross for the Benefit of Mankind. But your Principles make you the Triumph of Heathens, and bring you upon the same foot with Brute Beasts.  Tory. 
Come, don't tell us Stories of our great Grandsires, who troubled themselves about Trifles: There is a Fashion in Government (as well as in Clothes) which must be complied with, according to the Humour of the present Age; and you may as well pretend to shape all Gowns by Queen Elizabeth's Farthingale, as to shape our Courts, or Counsels according to the Sentiments of that, or other Times, which were as different too from one another, as we are different from them.  Whig. 
As for your Fashion of Government, Mr. Tory, I hope it is either gone to the Grave with K. C. or to France with K. I. and could heartily wish you would follow it to either places: But pray before you go, let me ask you in what Age and Time it was, That Men of Sense, or Men of Honour, did prefer Will and Pleasure to Laws, or Slavery to Freedom? As I take it, the Principles of Liberty and Property, have always been in Fashion amongst Men of Sense, and Estates in England, and ever will be. But your Principles can never find Professors, but amongst Fools and Beggars.  Tory. 
Whatever our Principles are, you find both them and us preferred to you and yours, even by a Government of your own choosing: And let that satisfy you as an Answer to that Point.  Whig. 
Not at all; that only proves a Mistake some where: And where the Mistake is, if you please, we will inquire; and I think it will best appear by examining the original Rise, Principles and Practices of both Parties.  Tory. 
Come on then, a clear Stage, and no Favour.  Whig. 
As for your original Rise, 'tis certain, you owe your being known in the World, to the horrid and execrable Designs of the two late Kings to set up Arbitrary Power and Popery amongst us: then were all the Jails, Brothels, and Kennels raked for Villains of ●ear'd Consciences and desperate Fortunes; your Arl— ns, Clif— ds, Of— s, were then thought upon for Ministers of State; and under them were bred such a pack of Wretches, as the Court of Tiberius would have been ashamed of. In the Law they were of the same sort with the Ministry; What Age can parallel your N—ms, your N—ths, your jeff— is, Sc— gs, Rain— ds, Wri— s, etc. and their under Managers Gra—m and Burt— n? etc. Then as to the Pillars of what they then called the Church of England, though so disguised at that time, that it was scarce known by its most dutiful, most affectionate, and most pious Children; I need say no more of them, than that they were composed of Bishops, and a Clergy preferred by two Kings, who were about to set up Popery and Tyranny: And therefore were to choose such Men into the Government of the Church, who they thought would be most complying with those Purposes, and whose Looseness of Morals might bring most Discredit upon the Protestant Religion: and whoever remembers Park— r, Cart— t, or knows Cr—w, and Wat— n, will (I think) be of the Opinion they were not ill chosen for the abovesaid Purposes.  Tory. 
But you see whatever Purposes they were chosen for, several of the Bishop's opposed Popery with the greatest Bravery imaginable.  Whig. 
True, they did oppose a Popish Clergy being brought into their Bishoprics, Churches and Colleges; and who but a mad Man would have expected any other from them? But did they ever stick at any thing that might advance Arbitrary Power over the Laity? Did they not conjure the People to Passive Obedience, Nonresistance? etc. Did they not tie us Hand and Foot, and throw us like Daniel into the Lion's Den? Nay, did they ever stick at building his Popish Church for him, whilst he contented himself to make use of their Hands? But when they saw that after they had gone so far in the Service, others were taken in to finish the Work, and to reap the Fruit of what they had sowed and planted: This was indeed intolerable, and then it was, and not before, that they begun to make a Noise about the Protestant Religion, and English Liberties, and to preach backward all their former Sermons.  Tory. 
But you cannot deny but that they were very instrumental to the Revolution.  Whig. 
I own they were for some time, like Fishes who have got a Worm in their Heads, they did frisk and leap out of their own Element; but like them too, they soon plunged into it again: for K. I. was scarce got to Feversham, before they repented what they had done, and from that day to this have given all the Proofs and Marks of an invincible Hatred and Enmity to the present Government: They opposed the King's coming to the Crown, fell into Cabals for the weakening his Government when he was King, and raised Rebellion without, and Plots within the Kingdom for the restoring of K. I. etc. Nay, at this time it is undeniable, that when ever the Clergy are most numerous, the Jacobites are most numerous too; there are more Jacobites ten for one in every Cathedral Town, than in any other Towns, accounting number for number: And how the Universities are generally disaffected to this Government, is notorious; they reproach and rail against the very Bishops and Clergymen preferred in this Reign. The Archbishop of Canterbury himself, whose Learning, Piety, and Excellencies of all kinds, are so eminent, that it seems impolitic in them, as well as unjust to reproach him, yet him too do they rail, scoff at, and treat with the foulest Invectives. In short, those who every day piously attend the Service and Religious Worship of the Church, who most frequently are Communicants in the holy Sacrament, these they will notwithstanding call Presbyterians, canting, whining Hypocrites, etc. and esteem none sound Members of their Body but those who drink with them, and come up to all their highest Points of Dominion, Tyranny, and Uncharitableness to all those who are not of their Faction: I will not call it their Church, because I think it a Dishonour to the best Reformed Church in the World, to be served by such a Clergy as are not only a Scandal to the Name of Protestant, but to the Name of Religion; and who, under the Title of Protestant Priests, are labouring with all their Power the Return of K. james, with his Popery and Slavery, and preach and pray openly for his Restoration; whilst no Exhortation for Obedience to our present King, our great Deliverer from Popery and Slavery, is heard from any Pulpit, no Passive Obedience nor Nonresistance is named in this Reign: And if for the sake of their Livings they are forced to pray for the King and Queen, it is in so faint and low a Voice, as if they had no mind to be heard either by God or the People.  Tory. 
Some few discontented Persons there may be perhaps, who may deserve this Character, but I hope you do not lay this Charge upon the whole Clergy of England.  Whig. 
No, I know there are many religious, learned and good Men amongst them; and there will I hope be more if this Government continues: But that the Number is not small who have refused the Oath, to this present Government, you cannot deny; and that most of the high Church, as they call themselves, those who (as a Learned Doctor said) have the Spirit of the Church in which they were bred, though they will not say with St. Paul, they have the Spirit of God 
* The first Instance I have met of their Modesty. . Most of this Order, I say, profess to take the Oath of Allegiance to this King, as he is King de facto, not the jure. And by the Example of these Reverend Clergymen, the Lay Knaves and Fools are directed to take Oaths with Mental Reservations, and private Interpretations and Distinctions. And having no Principle, but that of Self-Interest, in which case you ever renounce all Justice, all Humanity to your Fellow-Creatures; you profess Slavery to some, that you may Lord it over others; yea renounce and trample upon all Laws to serve a Turn, make a Jest of Liberty and Property: And to gratify your Pride or Avarice, you have betrayed your Country, persecuted and murdered your innocent Countrymen and Fellow-Citizens, sold your Neighbours to the French King, and your Laws and Religion to the late Kings; and even from the same Principles have been endeavouring to bring about the same Practices in this Reign too; and in order to it, have been tempting your Lord and Master, in the Language of the Devil to our Saviour, All this will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me; and I hope he will answer you in his Words upon that occasion, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy King. Thus have I given you in few Lines an account of the Rise, Principles and Practices of your Party, with which I could fill up a Volume: But I consider the Nation needs only a general Hint to refresh their Memory to Particulars. For the Smart of the Wounds received in the late Reigns from you, is yet most sensible to many honest Englishmen.  Tory. 
If this Devil of a Tory be so black as you paint him, I wonder how he comes by so fair a Character, and so numerous a Party in the Nation, and so great a Countenance from all Courts of contrary Interests.  Whig. 
Fair Appearances, and great Numbers prove nothing; the lewdest Strumpets are often fair, and Fools and Knaves have in all Age's outnumbred the Wise and Honest. How ye Tories came to have so great a Countenance from the last Court, I have already showed, and will (since you command me) show you how ye became the Favourites of this Court too, even by the same Means, and the same Men▪ that made you Favourites in King Charles' Time. For the M. of C. after all his mischievous Management of Affairs in that Reign, having by an ill Fate to this poor Nation, got into some small pretence of Merit, by little Assistances he gave to the late Revolution; upon this he sets up again for Ministry. But being apprehensive that those honest Gentlemen, who had so bravely exposed their Lives and Fortunes for the Redemption of their Country, and were so well acquainted with his Methods in the late Reigns, would be jealous of his having too great a Credit with the King, he thought it his best play to begin with them; and from his first Coming to Court, laboured to insinuate Jealousies into the King of those Gentlemen as Commonwealths-men, Haters of Monarchy, etc. and having likewise an implacable Pique to Parliaments, for their Impeachment and Imprisonment of him, he at the same time represents that part of the Government envious of the King's Power, and always endeavouring to make him a King of Clouts, a Duke of Venice, etc. Thus by misrepresenting the King's best Friends, he made way to bring in his old Practices, and his old working Fools (whom he represented to be Men of Business, and Friends to Monarchy) into this Court too; and being assisted afterwards by the E. of N. and some others, ye have indeed carried all before you; and how much to the Interest of the Nation, and the Honour of the King, let all the World judge, who have seen this poor Kingdom every Year for this last four Years brought to a reasonable Apprehension of being invaded from Abroad, betrayed at Home; and in a word, to subsist only by a Miracle.  Tory. 
All this rambling Story you have told is a wild Supposition, and straining the Intention of this noble Lord to your own malicious Purpose, who designed nothing more in bringing in these Gentlemen you call the King's Enemies, than by reconciling them to the King and his Government, to make the Foundation of it broader and deeper: And I know not how this comes to be such a Crime, and so ill Policy with us. I have heard, that Henry the Fourth of France, who was esteemed a wise and Politic Prince, thought it very good Kingcraft, to caress his Enemies of the League, and to make his Court to the Jesuits.  Whig. 
And pray, what did he get by it? Did he ever gain either of them heartily into his Interest? Were not those of the League ever ready to plot with the Spaniard, etc. against him? And for his dear Friends of the Church, not all his Renunciation of his old Religion, and his old Friends; not all his Gifts, his Caresses, and his Courtship could reconcile them to him, or so much as save his Life, when they had it in their Power to destroy it. For those jealous Gentlemen, the jesuits, never would believe they had his Heart, till it was sent them in a Box to Le 
* A College of Jesuits in that place.  Fleche, to be buried there.  Tory. 
But notwithstanding your jesuits Tale of a Tub, I will undertake that all the Tories (as you call them) in England, both Clergy and Laymen, shall take the Oaths to the King, and serve him heartily, provided he will do one thing.  Whig. 
What's that?  Tory. 
Utterly discard you Whigs, and give us the Penal Laws again upon the fanatics.  Whig. 
And would that make the Foundation of the Government broader and deeper, as you talked just now? Besides, have you not heard a Story of one Samson, Sir, who after he had resigned his Lock of Hair in which his Strength lay, was delivered up to his Enemies by those he had trusted? But supposing what you propose (if granted) might win you to be Williamites, were King james dead, yet I am mistaken, if whilst he lives, and the King of France continues as powerful as at present, you will ever be drawn by any Courtship, to engage so far in the Interests of this Government, as to swear otherwise to the King than as King de facto, nor will you make your Reconciliation to King james desperate. Answer to this Point plainly and truly.  Tory. 
Wise Men will always secure a Retreat; and Self-preservation is a first Principle with all Men. And as a Gentleman said wittily upon this occasion, As long as the Government can maintain itself, and will maintain me, it is sure of me: But I have lived too long at Court to die a Martyr for any Monarch, and will always behave myself so in one Court, as to be well with the next. And though perhaps this is not all that this Government might reasonably wish from us, yet I can tell you they do not believe that they shall mend themselves, by changing us for you, for divers and sundry Reasons.  Whig. 
Pray let us have some of them.  Tory. 
First, because you are for a Commonweath-Government, and Haters of Monarchy.  Whig. 
That is, that we are mad Men, and void of all common Sense and Reason: for whoever hath either of these, will know a Commonwealth, a Chimaera impracticable, and impossible to be brought about in England. If Machiavelli be of any Authority, he says in his 55 th' Chapter upon Government, That where there is not an Equality in the Conditions and Estates of a People, it is impossible for that People or Nation to erect and settle a Commonweath. He gives you Examples to confirm this, but I think there are some more to our purpose, as being more recent and nearer home. Upon the Revolt of the Low-Countries from the Spanish Yoke, it was necessary for them to put themselves under some Form of Government; and the Form being in their own free Choice, seven of the seventeen Provinces, who were a Trading sort of People, much upon an Equality in their Condition and Fortune, and had few Families of Nobility or Gentry among them, fell naturally into a Commonwealth-Government: But the other ten Provinces, having great numbers of Nobility and Gentry, though they were more immediately under the Tyranny of the Spaniard, and had been more particularly sensible of D'alva's Cruelty and Oppression, notwithstanding chose rather to continue under the hated Government of Spain, than to accept of the Invitation the other seven Provinces had made them of coming into the more hated Project of a Commonwealth: so impossible it is to reconcile Men distinguished by Titles and Fortunes, to mix themselves in a common Level with the People upon any Consideration or Disgust whatsoever. And whoever will look over what passed here in England from the Year 1648, to the Year 1660, will be yet more convinced of the Truth of this Assertion, and of the Nonsense of any Commonwealth-Design in this Nation: Perhaps there was never at any time so many Men of strong Inclinations for a Commonwealth-Government as then, nor of greater Abilities to effect such a Design: And yet they found the Nobility, Gentry and Dignified Clergy such a Rub in their way, as no Art, no Force could remove: and at last they were brought into that Confusion and Disorder by attempting it, that the very People and Army who were in this Project of a Commonwealth, and had overthrown the Monarchy in order to it, and could support Cromwell in a single Person, yet after his Death saw a necessity of restoring the Monarchy again, and assisted towards it. But this was the Dust which the two last Courts threw into the People's Eyes when they would make them blind to Arbitrary Power and Popery: And is now one great Artifice the jacobites depend upon, whereby to separate the Friends of this Government from its Support; though it will always be a Jest to understanding Men. I have heard a Story of a Lady, who passing through a Crowd to her Coach, and having a rich Jewel on her Breast, covered the Jewel with one of her Hands; which a Pickpocket in the Crowd observing, steps up to her, and claps his Hand upon a Place below, which he thought would oblige her to remove her Hand from her Breast, to defend it: But the Lady apprehending the Thief's Design, very prudently neglected the false Attack, and applied both her Hands to the securing her Jewel, and by that means came off safe. And so Gentlemen, whenever you make your false Attack upon our Commonwealth, we shall for the future, take it for the Signal to us, that your real Aim is at our Liberties and Properties, and shall apply both our Hands and Hearts to the securing those Jewels of inestimable Price. But to be serious, in our case the Whigs (as I said in the beginning of our Discourse) have given sufficient Proof how little they designed a Commonwealth, and how hearty they were to the Monarchy, in their struggling so zealously to set the Crown on the King's Head.  Tory. 
We own you were for giving him the Name of a King: But after all, speak sincerely, Did you design to make him any more than a King of Clouts, a Duke of Venice, or a Statholder?  Whig. 
We designed to make him as great a King as the Laws of England and our Ancient Constitution make any King: And if you pretend to make him more, take the Honour of it. But, Sir, upon this occasion your Party were for making his present Majesty less than either a Duke of Venice, or Statholder of Holland: For in proposing to make him a Regent, you make him only a Journy-man-King, a Subject to King james, and accountable to him: But what the Whigs did to deserve being suspected of a Commonwealth-Design, or of any Intention to lessen the King's just Power, I am yet ignorant.  Tory. 
You are wilfully so then; for what could the meaning of the Convention be to settle the Revenue of the Crown from three Years to three Years, and to take away the Revenue of the Chymney-Money, one of the fairest Flowers of the Crown, but lessening the King's Power, and making his Government precarious?  Whig. 
The Chimney-Tax being grown a Grievance more sensible and more odious to the common People than any other; and the danger of being enslaved by giving such great Revenues (for Life) to the two last Kings (by which they were enabled to maintain standing Armies, and to subsist without Parliaments) was so fresh in the Memories of all thinking English-Men, and so apprehended by them, that the King's Friends thought it greatly for his Service to take away the Burden of the one, and the Apprehension of the other from the People, and by using different Methods to those which had been followed in the former Reigns. To make his present Majesty's Government more acceptable to all good Men, and that He might hereby reign in the Hearts of his Subjects, and be distinguished by them: which Method, if pursued, would have given us a fairer Prospect of our Affairs, than at present I am afraid we have. But this is not the Interest of wicked Ministers, who when Kings take these Courses, lose their Dominion over them: their business is therefore to make Princes jealous of Encroachments of Parliaments, of Commonwealth-Designs amongst the People, to represent the King's Interest separate from the Interest of his Subjects; and then to ingratiate themselves with him, and raise themselves in his Opinion for their Parts and Abilities, they offer him Schemes of Politics, to prevent Designs against him which were never thought on. Thus these honest Iago's first work a Prince up to Jealousies and Hatred of his People, by false Suggestions; and then, as a Remedy against the Mischiefs they have supposed, put him upon Designs ruinous to his Country and himself. But in the mean time, by appearing thus zealous for what they call the King's particular Interest and Glory, they insinuate themselves into some sort of Prince's Favour, they become Confidents of all Court-Intrigues, and grow great and rich; they dispose all Offices▪ and crush all who are not their Creatures; and at last come to awe and govern Kings themselves. As Waiting-Women, who when they have debauched their Mistresses by their Mercenary Solicitations, and are become the trusties of their Frailty, they no longer taste the Busk, nor bitter Reproofs for misplacing of a Pin or Patch; but from Servants become Mistresses, no Faults are then found with them, no Liberty denied them; even the Purse, and the rich Petticoat is absolutely at the Waiting-woman's Service, till at last they bring their Mistresses to Infamy and Beggary. And so to return to the Ministry again; By this kind of Management they make their Master's Kings of Clouts, necessitous, miserable, and despised Princes. For Example; What made the late King james a King of Clouts, but those Evil Counsellors, who put him upon Despotic and Dispensing Power, and propagating a Religion against Law? Who put him upon preferring Papists and Irish, to Protestants and English? Who advised his seizing Colleges and Charters, setting up High-Commission-Courts, and making Parliaments and Laws a Nose of Wax? Deny this if you can, Mr. Tory. Nay, as to your Idol-King, Charles the Second, (who notwithstanding I believe much the worse of the two Brothers, as sinning against a better Understanding, and greater Obligations) was it not by these Counsels, and some of these Counsellors, that this Gentleman was made a King of Clouts too, from having all the Advantages at the time of his Restoration that ever King was blessed with? He was beloved, delighted in, and courted by his Subjects; was respected Abroad, in Plenty and Power at Home; and could direct the Votes of a Parliament with a Nod (more than he could at last with his Exchequer): yet after all this in a few Years, by the Management of some of our present Evil Counsellors, who gave him ill Impressions of his Subjects, made him out of Love with Parliaments, and poisoned him with Lawless Power, and Love of Tricks, (the worst of Poisons to an English King) who, for their own filthy Interest, persuaded him to sell Dunkirk, break the Triple League, and enter into Measures with France, destructive to the Interest of this Nation, and of all Europe. By these Measures he at last became distasteful to his Subjects, and was forsaken by a Parliament the most attached to him, and in love with his Person to a Fault; so that at last▪ his Necessities drove him to become a Pensioner to France 
* A fine Character for an English King. . And if you will believe Mr. Dreyden, his Poet-Laureat, concluded his Reign in these miserable Circumstances of being [despised Abroad, and living on Tricks at Home.] And how these gentlemen's Father and Grandfather were made Kings of Clouts by the like Measures and the like Ministers, by endeavouring at Lawless Power, and laying aside Parliaments, etc. even the Histories of those Times published by their own Authority, make it out plainly. And now, Mr. Tory, if you please we will examine a little into the few Examples we have of Princes who have practised a contrary Method to the beforementioned one; we will inquire what Effects that sort of Government hath produced; and we need go no farther, I think, than Queen Elizabeth's Reign, the immediate Predecessor to the Scotish Race, to fetch a Comparison that will answer all Objections: And to give the Beauty of her Government its due Lustre, let us set it off with the Difficulties that attended it and surrounded it in the beginning. Let us consider her in the first place— of the weaker Sex,— a Woman— having no 
* A new Distinction our Statesmen have lately found out.  rightful, though a lawful Title;— The greatest part of her Subjects of a contrary Religion to her— The Queen of Scotland, her next Neighbour, a Pretender to the Crown— Ireland in open Rebellion: The King of Spain, the greatest Monarch of Europe at that time, her mortal Enemy, and Invader— Plots and Conspiracies by the Papists against her at Home— And no Ally Abroad but the Dutch, than an Infant State, and supported by her.— And yet we see this poor, weak Woman in the midst of all these Disadvantages, Absolute and Uncontrolled at Home, Awful and Glorious Abroad. This indeed seems very extraordinary; Let us inquire therefore what Methods were then practised in order to the producing such wonderful Success: Was it by corrupting Elections, or making Pensioners of Parliament-Men?— No, for her Courtiers pleaded (as well in Bar of being Parliament-Men as of being Sheriffs) that they were the Queen's Servants: So that by this we may reasonably conclude there was nothing to be got by it in those days.— Was it by employing her Sister Queen Mary's Ministers, or courting her Enemies the Papists?— No,— For she made England too hot for the one, and adorned almost every Gibbet in the Nation with her Justice upon the other.— Was it by a standing Army then?— Not that neither; for she had no Army, nor no Guards, but her Gentlemen-Pensioners, and Yeomen of the Guard. I know you'll say, How the Devil could she bring Matters about as she did, without using any of the admired Methods of our late Times?— In good sooth, even by so homely and plain a Receipt, that you'll laugh at me when I tell it you— Only— by loving, and courting the Love of her People, and not preferring Scotish, French, not Irish Favourites to them (as in the late Reigns)— By being just to their Rights and Liberties, and devoted to their Interests— By rewarding bountifully, and punishing severely;— By encouraging honest Men, and— browbeating State-Projectors and Tricksters; Knaves who persuade Princes, that their Interest is separate from the Interest of their People;— who counsel them to stretch Prerogative, or be overfond of it;— who endeavour to breed unkind Thoughts in them to their best Friends and honestest Subjects. This sort of Gentlemen were out at Heels in her time. She, like a truly wise Woman, never seemed fond of Despotic Dominion, nor of those who flattered her with it, and put her upon it; for she knew, that Nolo Dominare is the readiest way to Power in England, and that it is soon found of those who seek it not.— She— wisely thought, that to be the Deliverer of Europe, a greater Character than to be Conqueror of it; and that it would be more truly glorious to redeem one single Town from Slavery, than to enslave the whole World. Not like some of her Successors, who (unworthy to be Sovereigns of the Noble Order the Kings of England wear) have chosen rather to be the Dragon than St. George, rather to destroy than to defend their Kingdoms.— She never took Money from her Subjects, but she gave them a Pennyworth for their Penny; and was seldom nice in according them such Laws as they thought necessary to their Safety. For being well assured of her own just Intentions, she never suspected theirs. And thus at last she got an absolute Power even over the Laws,— as a good Wife gets a Power over her Husband, by loving and obeying him. And now I think I have sufficiently exemplified what sort of Ministers and Methods they are which make Princes Great and Glorious Monarches, and which make them Kings of Clouts. And whether this latter Character belongs to the Whig or Tory, I submit to the Judgement of every impartial and reasonable Man. But go on with your Charge.  Tory. 
It is objected against you Whigs also, that you do not love the King's Person.  Whig. 
What an Accusation hast thou blundered upon, thou very Irish Tory, thou eternal Trifler! Not love the King's Person?— 'Tis a Thought fit only for a Chambermaid, when the Chaplain or Valet offer their Service to her. King's are to be loved by Millions of their Subjects who never see their Persons, (as Heaven is by Mankind) for their Providence and Care of their People; for the Influences they dispense of their Justice and Mercy, and for the universal Good and Benefits which they scatter amongst their Subjects. And in this Point their Thoughts and Designs should be Godlike; and by any other sort of Lovers than these, any King will be as slenderly accompanied in his Misfortunes, as King james was to Feversham. But besides, this Accusation is as false as it is foolish: pray, Sir, Who showed the most early Inclination to the Prince of Orange's Person, the Whigs or the Tories? Who went into Holland first and begun the Project of the Prince of Orange's coming over hither, Whigs or Tories? Who put the Crown upon his Head when he did come, Whigs or Tories? But to come nearer to the Point; Did not the Whigs show a most apparent Partiality to the Prince of Orange's Person in all the Points of the Settlement of the Crown, and particularly in giving it Him for Life, overlooking at the same time the P. of D's Title, and the Lineal Succession? Did they not to a Man stand by the King's Authority in the Debate concerning the P. of D's Revenue, and leave the Disposal of that Affair entirely to the King's Pleasure? And now after four Years being used like the worst of Enemies for all these Services; after being shut out from speaking to the King, and almost from seeing him; after being discountenanced and frowned upon, they have notwithstanding (like the humorous Lieutenant) ever showed a grutching to his Grace upon the least Encouragement, or Invitation; and have at the opening of every Sessions, for three Winters successively, still been ready to swallow the same sweetenings, and to be coaksed by a Clap on the Cheek, like an old City-Cuckold and Cully, and have been wrought into a Credulity, which nothing but their Fondness and Dotage on the King's Person, could have effected.  Tory. 
But you will not deny that▪ you have sometimes expressed yourselves peevishly concerning the King.  Whig. 
And what Lover that hangs or drowns himself for his Mistress, does not do the same? Railing in a Lover is an infallible Symptom that he is far gone in the Distemper: And no Woman ever yet resented it when it came from that Cause▪ But our Court hath not learned to distinguish between those who are angry with them, in concern for their Prosperity, and those who seem pleased with them in hopes that they are in the way to Destruction. And to speak plainly, Sir, the Partiality and Courtship which the King hath showed to you Tories, in spite of all your apparent Hatred of his Person, as well as your professed Dislike of his Title and Government, and the Aversion he hath showed to the Whigs, and Contempt of all their Advances and Addresses, hath begotten ugly Reasonings in jealous and prying Men, as if there were a Bias towards the Principles of former Governments, rather than to those this Government declared for, and set up upon: And even the wise and well meaning Tories begin once again to smell a T— d when you hold it so near their Noses. But▪ come, proceed.  Tory. 
You are likewise accused of being wedded to a Party, and by that means will reduce his Majesty to be King of a Faction only of his Subjects.  Whig. 
This will appear much otherwise, if you will please to remember who brought in the E. of N. to be Secretary of State, and many others of that Party, and how few of your Faction were displaced by the Whigs when they had Interest with the King. But this Charge will appear most foully true upon you, who by the basest Ingratitude and Villainy fell upon undermining those who brought you into the Government the minute you were possessed of the King's Ear. And yet you see, notwithstanding all your barbarous Treatment of us, We have always come in cheerfully to all Votes for Money, all Loans, and all other Measures to support your Credit and the Common Interest, till both are fallen so low, that the People's Clamours were never so loud, nor their Dissatisfactions never so great. You, like Solomon's Harlot, are for tearing the Government asunder, if you may not have the Possession of it. We have showed on the other hand true Motherly-Tenderness, and consented rather that it should remain in your Possession entirely, than be torn in pieces betwixt us, till it appeared to all the World what a vile Stepmother you have been, and how you have starved and abused a Government worthy your most indulgent Tenderness and Care. And yet I am not for refusing any Tory that gives Proof of his sincere Repentance, and of a Love to his Country, but with all my Heart would give my share of the fatted Calf to make the returning Prodigal welcome; though I cannot but think it reasonable, that you should submissively seek the Government, and not the Government submissively seek you; that you should own your Sin against Heaven, and against your Country, and give Security of another course of Life for the future, and not justify your Faults, and persevere in them. If I could see amongst any of you the least Consideration for the common Good and Benefit of Mankind, and the universal Welfare of your Fellow-Creatures, to which you are bound by the Law of God, and the Law of Nature, and to which all the Heathens who were not barbarous, paid a most profound Reverence and Obedience, and preferred to all private Interest, to Wives, Children, Estate, nay to Life itself. If I can find any amongst you a Lover of his Country, a sincere Supporter of the Laws, Liberties and Interest of the English Nation, I am as much his Servant, though he be a N—, a C—, or a R—, as if he were a S—, a R—, a S—, or a T—. But instead of showing any Regard to the Interest of the Nation, any Bowels for your Country, any Self-denial in point of private Interest: Have you not sold your Country, and their Birthrights upon all occasions (like Esau) for a Mess of Pottage? Have not some of you put off Human Nature, Human Reason, and all common Honesty, so far, as to conspire to bring in a French Power, to gratify your private and personal Piques? To bring in Popery and Slavery to rule over you, because you cannot Tyrannically rule over your Fellow-Subjects? Remember what the Presbyterians got by being so active in restoring the two late Popish Kings, hoping to be revenged thereby upon the Independents, and other Dissenters: Were they not mingled in the same Persecution with the others, nay, more oppressed and marked out for Wrath, as being more numerous and more considerable than any other Sect? Just so must the Church and their Proselytes expect to far from the Hands of their Popish Friends (whose Cause they are so zealously propagating;) they may admit them to the Honour of being the Cat's-foot, but not a bit of the Chestnut: No Whig, no Fanatic, but will then have as fair Quarter (at least) from King Lewis, as you, (for King james I take to be only a cipher, and Property to your French Lord and Master, who when he hath finished his Work, will finish his Life too.) And do you jure Divino, you truly Loyal Gentlemen, think that you will find more Favour than for being more attached to King James' Interest? No, be assured the most inveterate Enemies of King james will meet with as favourable a Treatment at least as you, who have professed yourselves so violently enamoured of King James' Person, and of the right Line. Reflect a little upon the King of France's Conduct at the time of the late Revolution: He knew long before the Prince of Orange's design of making a Descent into England, and could have prevented it a thousand ways; but instead of that, he writes to Barillon, than his Ambassador in England, to know in what Condition King james was to oppose the Prince's Forces: He being a Foreigner, and judging only by outward Appearances, represents the Army of King james sufficiently powerful to resist what Force the Prince of Orange could bring: whereupon the French King believing that the English and Dutch would by this means weaken and destroy one another, and leave a fair Game for him the next Year against the Emperor and Flanders; and to take away all Apprehension from the Dutch of their needing an Army for their own Defence, and to give all Encouragement to their Design upon England, he draws all his Troops from the side of Flanders, and falls upon Philipsburg; which Army if he had marched towards the Spanish Frontiers in Flanders, the Dutch durst not have transported a Man; and the whole Design of the Descent had been at an end. From hence it is plain what Friendship the French King had for his dear Brother King james, and what you may expect from this Man of Honour and good Nature, when you have served his Turn. Come, grow wise and honest, and let us not divide under this or that Ministry, under this or that Faction or Party, but let us all unite against the common Enemy; let us make the Public Interest, and the Support of the Government as it is established by Law, our chief and only Aim; and for all Projectors and Conspirators, whether for a Commonwealth, a French Tyranny, or any other Tyranny, I wish they were all hanged on the same Tree, the first for Fools, the others for Miscreants and Villains: And thus much, and no more am I for being wedded to a Party.  Tory. 
I own you have told us a fair Tale; but nothing is proved, nothing appears undeniable, but your Venom and Enmity against the Church, and her Friends.  Whig. 
If your mean the French Story needs proving, the Disgrace of Barillon when he returned to Versaille upon the account of mistaking and misrepresenting the English Affairs, is notorious: But besides, the Story proves itself more than a thousand Witnesses; and for the rest, I have related nothing but what every Englishman is knowing of. And as for what you charge me with in relation to the Church, I see little Reason for it, unless, as St. Paul says, you account me your Enemy because I tell you the Truth. For my part I reverence the Church of England as much as any Man: But I am not for sacrificing the Laws and Liberties of the Public, nay, the very Nation itself, to a Foreign Conquest, for the sound of a Word. I have a due Respect for the Priesthood too, and am their Servant, but never can submit to be their Slave: I honour their Coat, but cannot be content to strip myself of mine, in respect to it. A moderate Respect is decent, and our Duty; more I take to be Superstition at least, if not Idolatry; and to worship a Wooden Priest, appears to me as bad as worshipping a Wooden God.  Tory. 
Now you are running into your usual Violence and Heat; and let me tell you as a Friend, it does you no good neither with the Church, nor Court, which latter hath a very low Opinion of those Men who express too much Warmth in what they say or do.  Whig. 
And therefore their Affairs have succeeded accordingly. Let the Nation be Judges, Whether, if Men of Warmth had been put in Office by our Ministers, the Taxes would not have been more justly and carefully collected, than they have been by those Lukewarm Managers they have employed; who, like the unjust Steward, when the King's Due was an hundred, bid their Neighbours write down fifty? Or, do you think the Deputy-Lieutenants of Surry would have absconded last Year, when they were ordered to raise the Militia upon King James' coming down to Normandy, if they had been Men of Warmth to the Government? Or, that King James' Friends would dare to profess their Opinions, and carry on their Designs so publicly? That they would presume to insult the Government in every Coffee-house; nay, in the Mall and Whitehall itself? That they would dare to threaten you to your Teeth as they do, with Invasions, Descents and Rebellions, or would venture to correspond with France, and go forward and backward every Day to King james; nay, raise Regiments of Horse and Foot under your Noses for a Rebellion, if Men of Warmth and Zeal were in the Government? But it is from hence that all these Insolences take their Rise, that the Enemies of the Government are come from hating it, to despite it; that its Friends are discouraged to appear for it; and that those Officers and Soldiers who in King Charles' time would have broken the Heads of those whom they heard reflect upon the King's Person or Government, will in this Reign hear both treated very oddly; not that they want an Affection to either, but out of a fear to offend by showing themselves Men of Warmth, and Partymen, those Characters being so abominable to our Court.  Tory. 
You Whigs have been the occasion of all this too: for you were so irreconcilable to some Ministers of State at the Beginning of the Revolution, because they had made a few Slips in the last Reigns; or perhaps because they had hanged some of your Friends, a Father, or Brother, or so; that you forced them to take in some Persons which they themselves thought not very proper for this Government: But if you will run a Man down, he will support himself at any rate; for Men are but Men: And withal I believe they hoped that a Place would buy any Party out of their Principles, and that all who they bought into the Government, would be obliged by that Means to be for the Government.  Whig. 
This is very far fetched, Mr. Tory, though it is not the first time I have heard it. But as to the first part of this Paragraph, the Matter of Fact is false: The Whigs were willing to forget all past Miscarriages, and be reconciled to any Minister that could be honest, as I showed you before. But these Gentlemen quickly convinced all the World, that they were grown so old and stiff in their former Mischiefs, that they were capable of no other ●end or Impression, but what they had taken in the last Reigns. And it was plain to every Man that had Eyes, that they were no sooner in the Ministry, but they fell into their old Schemes which no honest Man could come into; and which I am afraid the Court hath not found the good Effects from, which these Evil Counsellors promised. It's true, by giving Places to all that were supple, and complying, you have brought in the Knaves of all Parties: But since that which brings them into the Service of the Government, is their own Interest, and not that of the Government; it will be reasonable for our Rulers to expect, that the whole Design of such Men, will be rather how to serve themselves of the Government, than how to serve it. To conclude, Sir, notwithstanding all you have said in Excuse of your Ministers and their Methods, I cannot but remain in my first Opinion, That the Men of easy Phlegm, born on the Confines of Indifference, as Sir, Samuel Tuke in F— ch-like Fustian describes our lukewarm Neutrals, are not fit Men to be employed in our Government, as the Case stands at present, but will prove as destructive to it as downright jacobites.  Tory. 
All this is taking things for granted which we deny; and accusing Men of what you do not prove; and if it were so, you confess there are Knaves of your Party too.  Whig. 
The Truth of what I say in relation to your Party, is so notorious to all the World, that it would be as impertinent to go about proving it, as to prove there is a Sun; even you yourselves have confessed, and pretended to repent of your Principles and Practices in King James' time, though you are now returned to your Vomit. And as to what you say of our having Knaves amongst us, I must confess it too true; and am as much afflicted as you can be, that any Whig should invade your undoubted and sole Right of being Knaves, and selling and betraying their Fellow-Subjects: But yet we hope we may claim a Distinction to be made, betwixt our Party, who not only profess, but have maintained to the Death, the Religion, Rights and Liberties of their Country; and yours, who in King Charles' and beginning of King James' Reign gave up all these things; and who, though you are employed in, and sworn to the present Government, make public Rejoices at the Slaughter of our Armies, and Destruction of our Fleets. If the Whigs have the Misfortune of some Knaves professing themselves of their Party: Our Saviour himself had a judas amongst his Twelve, and yet that did not at all discredit the Doctrine and Principles of the Apostles; not does our having some Knaves among us, make it as reasonable and equal to adhere to your Party, that are the professed Enemies of their King and Country, as to depend on those who have generally in all Times, and on all Occasions declared their Affection to their Country, Love of its Laws and Religion, and have since the Revolution showed their Zeal for the present Establishment.  Tory. 
Just now you seemed to agree to a Comprehension, and were for welcoming the Prodigals as you called them; now you are for excluding them again.  Whig. 
No, I am for receiving any Tory, as I told you, that seeks the Government, and becomes a true Penitent: But I would not have the Government seek them; nor would I have them entrusted in this critical time without some Marks of their Repentance and Regeneracy; and by our Easiness give them the opportunity of selling us to the French King, or King james, as I fear some of them do at this time.  Tory. 
All that's Malice and Stuff, and not reasonably to be apprehended: And I tell you once more, it is the Opinion of some wise Men, that the King cannot follow a more fatal Counsel than to confine himself to any one Party of his Subjects.  Whig. 
Then your Patrons have been advising him fatally these four Years; for they have been persuading the King to throw himself entirely into your Hands.  Tory. 
They never refused to receive any Whig, that would comply, and come under their Protection; but if the King will choose any one Party, I think we of the Church are the most numerous and considerable, and are fittest as such to be employed by him.  Whig. 
Now you are retired into your Sanctuary, the Church, you think you are safe, and it is indeed dangerous pursuing you: But however I'll venture it; and since you force me, I must repeat again some of those Arguments I have given you already, why you are not fit to be trusted by this Government. First, you Tories do not believe yourselves King William's Subjects, and therefore are very unfit to be employed by him as his Servants. Secondly, It cools the Affections of the People, to see those employed in Places of highest Trust, who they have a Demonstration are not for the Government even when they are in it. And by this Method it is plain the King (according to the Fable) loses his Shoulder of Mutton, by catching at the Shadow; and by aiming at both Parties, he hath neither.  Tory. 
I confess I am for the King's relying on one Party as much as you are (though not yours;) but however, there are great and wise Men, as I told you, of another Opinion; and I have heard it asked, Why this Method of uniting all Parties should not have as good an Effect here as in Holland, for there the Prince of Orange reconciled all to the common Interest?  Whig. 
I'll tell you why; First, it appears all Parties there sincerely intended the Good of the Government; which, it is too plain, is not your Case. Secondly, Neither Party had any other Head to repair to, as you Tories have; the Prince of Orange had no pretending Rival to the Right of Statholder: But the King hath here a Rival, a Father-in-Law, who pretends a Right to the Crown, who is supported by the greatest Power that ever was known in Europe, so as to make the Event appear doubtful, even to those who are most zealous for this Government: And by this means the Friends of King james are encouraged to be firm to his Interests, and Neutrals; nay, and even his fearful Enemies are frighted from acting with a Zeal against him. Is this a time then to be trying Experiments, to put ourselves and Affairs into the Hands of Men bred up, and principled against the Design of this Government? Is this a time to reconcile ourselves to our Enemies, and to take Men out of Plots, and place them in our Cabinet? No sure, with my Lord N—'s leave, this is not the time. In this time of Danger, those who have been the ancient and declared Enemies of King james, and who have most reason to expect being hanged if he return, are most fit for the King to rely on. But when these Difficulties are mastered, as much Comprehension as you please. In the mean time your Education in Toryism, your Obligations to King james, and, which is more than both, your present Hopes from him, will make you so averse to this Government, that no Favour, no Courtship can engage your heartily in its Interests; and it is Nonsense to expect you should fight for a Title you have always declared to disapprove of.  Tory. 
You are always harping upon that String: But supposing we do not approve of the making him King, yet we know how to obey Kings when they are made: But you, after you have made a King, are using him like your Creature; clipping his Power, and ● finding Fault with his Conduct. For my part, if I were a King▪ would sooner forgive a Man that disliked my Title, than one who disliked my Conduct.  Whig. 
Why, then Mr. Tory, you would be none of the wisest Princes▪ For he who finds fault with your Conduct, may be your Friend; but he who finds fault with your Title, must be your Enemy, or else a Knave, and acts against his Conscience. But how does this Article appear of the Whigs being dissatisfied with the King's Conduct in any Point, but in his employing you, and the Consequences of it? Is it from giving cheerfully whatever Sums were demanded in Parliament; Is it being ready to advance Money upon the most remote Funds, in offering their Persons to the Public Service in all times of Danger, notwithstanding all Brow-beating, and Discouragements; by breaking all Measures with King james and his Party, that they discover their Dislikes, and Dissatisfactions to the King, or his Government? But if they disapprove that the Friends of King james should be King William's Ministers, that those should be placed in all Offices who hate him and betray him, Will he have Reason to take their Dislike of this part of his Conduct so very unkindly from them, as to forgive it less than your renouncing his Right and Title to the Crown? But your Tories have got a Trick of bringing Kings into your Quarrels, (as the Priests do God Almighty into theirs) and by placing them before you, hope to make yourselves safe, not caring how much you expose them; and you impudently place your own Crimes unfairly upon others: and whilst you yourselves are daily Libelling and Lampooning the King's Person and Conduct most maliciously, and triumphing in all his Misfortunes ingratefully, (witness the public Insolences at the Bath, and Windsor, upon the late Defeat in Flanders) you, according to your wont Modesty, charge the Whigs with your own Faults; and avoid being Criminals, by turning Accusers.  Tory. 
I know not what some hotheaded drunken Men may have said and done at the Bath, or elsewhere; but this I know, that a whole Party ought not to share the Miscarriages of some few particular Men.  Whig. 
You are in the right if that were the case; but it is undeniable, that this Insolence is universal, and even amongst those of you employed and paid by the Government.  Tory. 
This is a sore Place I find you are ever complaining of. But why are you angry with us for being in Places? Did we seek them? Were we not sought, courted, entreated to accept of Employments? And since you provoke me, I'll tell you the Reason; the King found none of you Whigs capable of, or fit for Business; he saw you too of a sour, morose Temper, jealous of Prerogative, affecting Popularity, childishly fond of Trifles, and tenacious of Lawless Liberty; whilst we are frank, and easy in all these Matters, and know the Respect that is due to Crowned Heads.  Whig. 
That is, when they are rightful!  Tory. 
Come, you will make no Prince have the worse Opinion of us for that; The Right Line, Passive Obedience, and Nonresistance, Prerogative, etc. will always sound well in every King's Ear. And when he considers us Enemies to his Title only out of a Principle of Loyalty, he will have reason rather to accuse his own Misfortune, than our Virtue; we plainly and honestly told him our Principles, that we believed him a King de facto only; and our Honour in this Point made him rely upon our Honour in others.  Whig. 
Let us examine then how honourably, how gratefully you have behaved yourselves to a King who hath relied on you, and obliged you so extremely. We will pass by those who refuse to swear Allegiance to him upon the abovementioned honourable Pretences, and only mention those who have accepted Employments of Profit and Trust. Have not even those in the Government both in England and Scotland, been plotting the Dethroning this King, who hath trusted them so generously, and courted them so kindly? Particularly, did not one of your Party at the beginning of this Government, give notice to the King's Enemies of Warrants against them, in order to their making their Escape, and was discharged his Employment upon it? Did not a Brother of a certain Secretary, give out Blank Passes under the Hand and Seal of that Secretary, by which a Correspondence was carried on betwixt this Place and France securely? And was not this Gentleman upon this Account laid aside gently and privately, and this Matter huddled up for fear of any Reflection upon our Monarchical Favourites, and put upon the Public as Passes forged, (as indeed they were by our own Officers) and a Lame Proclamation put out with Rewards to the Discoverer, but without a Pardon for Life, when they knew the whole Matter beforehand? H●ve not some Women lately been taken going to France (with Letters to King james) with a Scotish Secretrary's Pass, under his Hand and Seal? Was not an Officer of the Post-Office lately found corresponding with France, and without any other Punishment for his Capital Crime, laid aside gently and privately? The Story of Capt. john Layton, late Commander of the St. Alban, and which hath been told in the House of Commons, will show you how faithfully you Tories serve the Government, and how fit you are to be trusted. Captain Layton being ordered to Cruise twenty Leagues off Vshant, by a Storm of Wind was driven to Cape Clear, where he met a French Privateer, and took her: the Captain of the Privateer asked Layton the Name of his Ship, which he told him; upon this the Privateer looking into his Pocket-Book, asked Layton how he came there; for by his Intelligence the Station of the St. Alban was to be twenty Leagues from Vshant, and no further. And the like Story is told of a Transport-Ship going to France with Prisoners, some few Months ago, who meeting with divers Privateers, asked them how they durst be so bold as Cruise there, when four English Men of War were within six Leagues of them? they replied, they knew the Station of those English, and that they could not come where they were a cruising but by breaking their Orders. But the Relation of the Sailer who was taken, and for some time served aboard an Irish Privateer, is yet more remarkable, for he deposeth, That they told him (thee Months before the straits Fleet sailed from Spithead) both the time when they were to sail, the number of their Convoy, and likewise that the Main Fleet was to go no further than beyond Vshant. Now how they could come by this Intelligence, but from Officers employed by and sworn to the Government, I know not; and if so, how faithfully and honourably you Tories serve Those who trust you, and how fit you are to be employed in this critical Time, I appeal to all the World.  Tory. 
These are malicious Stories; and if strictly enquired into, will prove false I dare say.  Whig. 
Whenever there is a Committee of indifferent Men ordered to take the Examination, I am informed all this will be proved, and much more; and how reasonable it is to expect this and any other Treachery from you, will appear probable to those who see you in all Offices daily and publicly drinking King James' Health: who see one Clerk going to a non-swearing Doctor, to take Advice, whether he may serve the Government as a writing Clerk without Damnation to his Soul? Yes, replies the Doctor, for thereby you keep out an ill Man, and may serve your rightful King upon occasion. To see another Clerk valuing himself to his Companions, that his Place, thank God, does not oblige him to take the Oaths to the Government. To see Officers of the greatest Trust in the Admiralty in Clubs twice a Week with Mr. P—ps, Mr. Ewe— rs, and other known jacobites, and from Saturday to Monday constantly living with them Night and Day.  Tory. 
I know who you mean, one of them is a Nephew to one of the Gentlemen, and expects 40000 l. from him; and would you have him renounce such an Expectance in Consideration of your Place?  Whig. 
No, but I would have the Government renounce such an Officer, that had such an Expectation from such an Uncle.  Tory. 
But where could you get such able Officers if these were discharged?  Whig. 
As the case stands, one honest Man will be of more Service than ten such able Men; the Forms of Business will be quickly learned; and want of Experience will be less fatal to us, than want of Fidelity. Most of the under-Places require a very indifferent Understanding, and little Experience to carry the Business on: And if you ascend to the Ministry, I cannot help thinking my Lords should Sh —y, or Sir I. Tr—d as able Secretaries as the E. of N. and Mr. R—ll as able an Admiral as Mr. K. &c. What is it your able Men have done for us, pray, this four Years? Was ever any Government in so promising a Condition, as ours was at the time of the Revolution? Were we not the Hopes of all our Allies, and the Terror of our Enemies? And is not the case altered with us? I fear it is: To be plain, a Ministry from Wapping could not have made worse work on't than yours have done. Ministers who know not so much as what Money their Affairs will require, but ask the Parliament too little, and manage it so as to make it less. That want Intelligence so much, that Matters of the greatest Consequence have been public in every Coffee-house three days before it comes to the Secretary's Office; particularly the loss of our Merchant's Fleet, and beating our Army in Flanders: As if (as one said) Secretaries, like Cuckolds, were to know their Dishonour and Misfortunes last. Then the Return of our Fleets for want of Provisions, laying out Money in false Expeditions, and wanting it thereby in true Necessities; imperfect Orders, from whence proceeds imperfect Execution; and besides they prove an Excuse to Officers even in the most fatal Miscarriages: with a thousand more Mismanagements and Treacheries from the top to the bottom of the Ministry, too tedious to relate here.  Tory. 
And do you think the Government would be better served at this time by Novices, and Strangers to Business?  Whig. 
I have answered you that before; I think it would be much better served by ignorant Friends, than understanding Enemies: Tho I am far (at the same time) from granting you that Point, for I am sure there are more Men of Sense and Capacity found amongst the Whigs, than amongst the Tories: and that Experience is not of such mighty Consequence as you would infer, will appear, if you will please to call to mind the Men employed in Public Affairs by Cromwell: Was ever Government better served than his? and yet he chose Men of the most private Condition, and one would have thought most unqualified for Public Business, Tailors, Draymen, broken Shopkeepers, raw Scholars, and some few of the middling Gentry. But being careful to choose Men principled against the Government of King Charles, and zealous for the Interest of the Government then on foot; they did Wonders, supported their Friends, and were awful to their Enemies; and this with all the Nobility, Gentry and Clergy, both Church of England and Presbyterian, in perpetual Combinations and Conspiracies against them at home, and a War in Ireland, Scotland, Holland, and Spain too, upon their Hands. And you have an Instance of it in this Government, in the Person of one of the Secretaries of Scotland, who (though bred in a very private way) hath showed himself a most successful Statesman, and of great Consequence to the Welfare of the King's Affairs in that Country, and this merely from his incorruptible Honesty, Zeal and Integrity to the present Government, without Experience, or great Insight into Business.  Tory. 
I must grant there is something in what you say, Union and Integrity will do great Matters: But you Whigs cannot pretend to this, for you are not two of you in the same Mind; you have no Government, no Discipline in your Party, no Firmness to one another, or to any Point: Your great P. F— turns Cadet, and carries Arms under the General of the Westsaxons; the two H—s are Engineers under the late Lieutenant of the Ordnance, and bomb any Bill, which he hath once resolved to reduce to Ashes, though it were for Recognition, or any thing else that is most necessary to our Security: Your jack S. and jack G. whenever they touch Penny, will touch Pot too, and drink all in the Bowl, be it never so deep. And besides this, you are always laughing, despising, or railing at one another; some of you are too wise, some of you too witty, and some of you too honest for the rest; jealous and envious of one another's Favour and Preferment; every Man thinking himself fittest to be at the Head of Affairs, and hating, and reflecting upon those who are so, and despising to be governed or directed by them. And at the same time those who are at the Top, disdaining to look down upon those below them, though they were the Steps by which they did ascend; they grow stately to their Friends, and unmindful of their Fortunes, impatient of Addresses, hard of Access, huddling into little Cabals, where they are wise and witty among themselves: whilst we Tories on the contrary, have but one Heart, one Voice, one Purse and one Interest; excuse and justify one another's Faults, prefer the meanest Fool or Knave of our Party; and in return the Underlings are every Man in a perfect Obedience to this Superior, to vote, rail, write or talk according to Direction, and not otherwise.  Whig. 
I owe there is too much Truth in what you say, and you speak Truth so seldom, that we ought to allow it you when you do: But I hope we have seen the Error of our Disunion, and shall amend it for the future: And however we may have had Personal Differences, and likewise may have been too much divided, and too obstinate in some Opinions, yet still in all Times, and under all Discouragements, we have all agreed to the same end, (viz.) The Public Good of our Country, and the Support of its Laws and Liberties; and in this present Reign have been and are unanimous against King james and his Interest, and have at all times with one Consent owned his present Majesty, Rightful and Lawful, which I take to be the Shibboleth, to distinguish those who are alone fit to serve this Government. And till there be an Act of Recognition in Force, I will be bold to say all the other Steps of our ablest and honestest Statesmen, will be upon Boggy Ground: nor can any Man be reasonably employed in any Office who hath not taken this Test; for whoever thinks King William not Rightful, must think King james is so; and the same Conscience which leads them to believe him Rightful, will incline them to assist that Right when they have opportunity: (but to return to the Point of your Charge) we must confess likewise that we have not been so much under the Government of our Superiors as you are, nor so industrious in supporting each others private and particular Interests. But to the first I might answer, That Fools and Beggars are more easily led by the Nose than Men of Sense and Estates: And as to the latter, I must put you in mind, that the Societies of Ignatius and of Newgate, are both of them as much united as you, in universal Mischief; for Roguery makes a stronger Glue and Cement, than Virtue, because there are more Men capable of the former than of the latter. And though it were to be wished, that the Whigs were more friendly, and had more Concern for the Support of one another in all their honest Pretences; yet God forbid there should ever be such a Friendship and Partiality amongst them, as to condemn and disgrace those who gain Victories, because they are not of their Party, and to support and defend those who have lost the Ships, Trade and Honour of the Nation, because they are their Creatures. But on the other side, where it is without offence to Justice, and the Public Interest, all Unanimity and Friendship is to be admired, praised, and prayed for; and I hope you will find it amongst us for the future, till it becomes the Subject of your Envy, instead of being an Occasion of Reproach. To put an end to this Argument; 'Tis plain with all your Friendships, and Union, and other Politics, you have brought the Nation, and all its Allies, to the lowest Condition both in Power and Reputation. You have almost put it out of the Skill of any Conduct to recover us; and whoever now takes the Administration of Affairs upon them, will be applied to the Government, like Pigeons to the Feet of dying Men. But however, to those who are true Lovers of their Country, no Time seems too late to attempt its Relief, no Difficulty so great as to discourage them from endeavouring it; and tho as the Case stands, it is more than probable, we may miscarry under the best Conduct, yet it is undeniable we must miscarry under yours. And so I take my Leave.  
FINIS.