A DISCOURSE OF WOMEN, Showing Their IMPERFECTIONS ALPHABETICALLY.  
Newly Translated out of the French into English.  
One Man amongst a thousand have I found, but, a WOMAN amongst all those have I not found.  Eccles. 7.28. 
LONDON, Printed for Henry Brome, at the Gun in Ivy-lane. M.DC.LXII.   

The Epistle Dedicatory, TO The English LADIES.  
MADAMS,  
THIS is intended generally for you, but yet it excludes none. You are the ablest judges, whether the French suit with your nature and sex in this Discourse: I confess it so handsome a Manufacture of theirs, that the Translator looks like a forbidden Trafficker in the Custom of Women, and an Interloper in the Merchantry of such Commodities.  
But nevertheless the Author is rendered as a Looking-glass to our English Females, wherein with truer reflections they may see themselves, and correct those native blemishes, by the exactness of these foreign characters.  
French vainly speaks the humour and fashion of your Ladyships, you will therefore take it the kindlier at a second hand, seeing the first sharpness of this discourse is something rebated, as their second Impressions have least of fury.  
She that will not see herself herein may court and command adoration, and reciprocate her wishes; while this Mirror shall only reflect virtue, and make her happy.  
Farewell.   

The ANATOMY OF WOMEN; Described in Two and Twenty several VICES Alphabetically.  

A  
The first whereof is AVARICE.  
AVARICE, is a Vice so detestable, that we hardly know how to describe its Ugliness, by the most hideous and deformed Monsters in the World. For though you should imagine a man whose Eyes cast out Flames of Fire, Two terrible Dragons in lieu of his hands, or flaming Swords instead of Teeth; a Mouth gaping like the entrance of a Cave, at which issued forth a fountain boiling with Poison in place of a Tongue, a Belly as devouring as a burning Furnace, with Wings under his Feet, his face like to the ravening Wolf, and in his hands lighted Torches, yet would not this sight be so terrible and monstrous as is an unsatiable Miser. For he is more cruel than a Tiger, more inhuman to his kind than the Panther, more unsatiable than Hell, greater Enemy to his Parents then the Viper or Serpent, more unnatural to his issue then the Wolf, and the cruelest Foe to himself in the World. Such a Pinch-belly, that he grudgeth himself sustenance, like that Wretch reported by St. Ambrose, who eating of an Egg for his meat, uttered these words with a sigh, that he had lost a Hen; repining therein at his great expense. To which purpose Alciat in his Emblems, drawing the Picture of a Covetous person, represents him under the shape of an Ass, who though loaden with all manner of dainty provisions, eats nevertheless nothing but Thistles and Wild Vines, and such like, intimating that the Miser would rather perish through hunger, and save his money, then lay it out in the maintenance of Life.  
Now if this miserable have not pity of himself, how shall he have compassion of another? If he prefer his gold and silver to his Life and his Soul, how is it possible he should love God and worship him in his heart.  
Nature seemeth in the production of Gold, to have somewhat presaged the misery of those who so insatiably love it, ordering it so that where that metal grows, neither herb nor plant is to be seen, thereby signifying the barrenness of covetous minds, and their unfruitfulness in the production of works worthy of Glory and Salvation. And is it not an extreme folly to serve and adore that which nature hath put under our feet, nay hide under the earth as being unworthy to be seen? yes certainly, insomuch that we need not wonder if the Apostle calls Covetousness the root of all evil, nay Idolatry itself, and that the Scripture termeth unjust riches, to be thorns, stealers away of the heart of man, snares, Nets, Fetters of the Devil. They who will he rich fall into the Temptation and Snare of the Devil. 
1 Tim. 6.  To this purpose a certain Christian Poet deploring the misery of these wretched slaves, hath most elegantly thus expressed it.  
For man with him nothing  
into the World did bring,  
And when he shall return,  
as much shall be in's Urn;  
Then all his Greatness lost,  
his Dress, his Goods, his Cost,  
Death makes him for to pass,  
naked as first he was;  
What rage then so unkind,  
thus to transport thy mind?  
And what misfortune can,  
so blind thee wretched man?  
Why dost thou so affect,  
those things which thee neglect?  
Which you may not carry,  
nor yet for them tarry;  
Leave this fond love, and spare  
your hopes for happier care;  
That which you keep so sure,  
cannot thee keep secure;  
Let not thy bosom warm,  
the Snake will do thee harm;  
Then do thy Idol break,  
And thy false friend forsake;  
Which when our danger's most  
deferts and quits its post;  
And Traitor like draws back,  
when we it chief lack.  
To this purpose it was, that the Primitive Christians laid the value and price of their Goods, Lands and possessions, at the Feet of the Apostles: for as St. Jerome observes, it is to show that the true Christian not setting his heart upon the goods of the Earth, aught to trample under foot, all Avarice and immoderate concupiscence of corruptible riches: From whence it follows that those who embrace and pursue them, preferring them to their Salvation are odious and detestable.  
Many of both Sexes of Mankind, have been sufficiently defamed therefore, but most especially the Female, and of a certain the inclination of Women is so strongly swayed to the coveting of riches, and greediness of wealth, that we may easily believe them to be the most avariciousest creatures in the World.  
The sacred Scripture setting down her imperfections omitting not amidst her noble Epithets and royal qualities to insert the other, calleth her a filthy Swine in reference to her Turpitudes. As a Jewel of Gold in a Swine's Snout, 
Prov. 11.  so is a fair woman without discretion: a Dunghill for her Nastiness and Filthiness, a whorish woman shall be trodden down as the Dung in the Street: 
Eccles. 9  a Wind for her levity, he that holds her as if he held the wind: a Scorpion for her mischievousness, 
Eccles. 25  he that keeps a lewd woman, is as he that cherisheth a Scorpion: a Dragon for her cruelties, it is better to dwell with a Lion and a Dragon, then to cohabit with a naughty woman: A snare of the Fowler for her dissimulations and deceits, I have found a woman more bitter than death as the snare of the Fowler: and lastly a Bear for her proclivity and propensity of her nature to Avarice.  
Furthermore they are unfit to give Counsel, the advice of women is invalid saith Aristotle; incapable to govern Cities, to mediate peace and concord, to be courageous, or to attain to the perfection of Arts and Sciences, the only true sustainers of Life.  
It is therefore no wonder if through fear of falling into want, Covetousness pricks them forward upon all adventures and means to live, thereby to maintain the Lusts of their ambition: and to the end that it be not supposed that I will except many, the sacred Scripture exempts but one which is the Blessed Virgin Mary according to the sense of that passage in the Canticles, As the Lily among the Thorns, 
Cant. 1.  so is my beloved among the Daughters. Where the Holy Ghost compareth the Blessed Virgin to Lilies, and the other Daughters of Adam to Thorns; for Lilies being the Emblems of Hope and Affiance, and Thorns of the care of Riches, do evidently show that our blessed Lady placed all her hope and confidence in God, affecting Poverty according to the example of her Son, above all things, whereas to other Women nothing is more pleasurable than Riches, and nothing more regretful than indigence and necessity.  
Doth not daily experience inform us, that they have more respect for a rich Croesus and a Midas though never so ugly and deformed, then of a wise Solon and Aristotle, were they the most handsome and accomplished persons of the age? But for what? doth it not appear to be a most manifest effect of Covetousness in a Woman thus to prostitute her body, her Soul and her Honour and all her Fortunes, yea all her glory which she hopes for in heaven? Although she be a Christian, yet so base a price, which I dare scarce name, a morsel of Bread saith the Wise man, will make her forsake God and lose the quiet of her Conscience.  
The Romans rather chose to advance to the administration of Government, single persons then married men, by reason that Women being covetous by nature would have more regard to their private profit then the public good. lib. observat. proficissiff. de officio. Indeed they are so noted for taking and receiving, that Antiquity hath it in a Proverb, The love of a Woman and the snearing of a Cur are nothing worth, but Holdfast is all. But if at sometimes you see them liberal 'tis not to seem virtuous but to cherish and better entertain their impure pleasures, making the Idol of their heart, the Slave of their sensuality.  
So if you would know which of her two Enamorato's a Woman loves best, you must have an Eye to her I berality, which being an effect of her love, whatever she receives from the one she will give unto the other her best beloved, although she makes countenance and seemeth to affect them both in the same degree.  
This I shall leave to the judgement of those, who have passed the Pikes, and know better than myself to speak the truth of it, and shall only add, that this insatiable Covetousness ariseth from their imprudency of mind, and want of judgement. And we see not that the Beasts are so extremely Covetous or extremely prodigal of necessaries for the sustentation of life, and therefore if in this the Woman exceeds them, it can be no injury to her, if according to our Alphabetick method we call her,   

B  
The Bottomless Abyss of Bestiality.  
PLato thanked God for three things, first that by Nation he was a Greek, not a Barbarian; Secondly, that by Birth he was a man not a Beast; Thirdly, that by Sex he was not a Woman, but a Man; They are three things which I confess far excel the most desirable good of humane Prudence and Wisdom, the natural appetite of the immortal Soul, and a brave courage, because of the imperfections usually attending the latter, which render them despised and contemptible. I say nothing to the two first of Plato's, but to his Third of Sex, I affirm that the Female is so frail and variable, that as a certain person said, it seems that Nature hath only framed her more for the perpetuation of mankind, and pleasure of man, then for any individual perfection in that Sex.  
The Egyptians in their Philosophy (though much mistaken therein) concerning the original of Women, report that the Nile overflowing its banks, and watering the several heaps of miry-fatearth embodied together, the Sun darting his Beams, thereupon, engendered by his heat, several kinds of Beasts, among which the Woman was first, being as it were the Captainness of all the rest: and that for this very reason it is, that Women are more imprudent and less capable of discretion than men: but this is but a Barbarian Fable, for the holy writ teacheth us that God took the Woman out of the side of the Man, and that she might be not his Servant, but his dear Companion, created her as susceptible of reason as man; but she losing the rains to her passions, gave such credit to the opinion of her being endued only with a sensual appetite, that Plato doubted whether he should take her out of the predicament of Beasts, and from the rank of those creatures which are capable of discretion. To which purpose, Neptune and Minerva coming on a time to a dispute about the imposition of the name of Athens, they made Three Laws and Ordinances against Women.  
The first was that no Child should bear the name of its Mother. The second that no Woman should style herself an Athenian but Attican. The Third that she should not serve the public, nor have any charge in the Commonwealth, they wanting Judgement and Wisdom for the conduct of such Affairs. Daily experience amply instructs us, that they will not advise in matters of their own concern, their own designs and enterprises, conceiting themselves able enough to do all of their own head, and to understand all manner of business, without any other assistance than the odd opinions of their own whimsical brain. This is evident in Heretical Women, who transported with vanity, fancy themselves able to believe, know and understand, without either Master or instructor, the most obscure and difficult places of Scripture, being indeed carried on with the greatest folly and Ignorance in the World.  
I wonder not therefore that the Holy Ghost speaking by the Wiseman in the 11. of the Proverbs useth this expression, that a Woman carries in her Nostrils a Ring of Gold. For a Ring, being the Emblem of ignorance, according to the Philosophers is not within the verge or region of the Sciences, for the Circle is refused of all Arts: It may be also that the Holy Ghost doth also further intimate to us, that the Beauty of a foolish woman runs the same fortune with that of a Swine, for as that base creature cannot rout up the ground with his snout, without tarnishing and sullying the Ring of Gold which he bears therein; so Beauty cannot preserve itself fair and amiable, in a foolish and immodest Woman. This I discover in the same words, 
Prov. 11.  a Golden ring in the Nostrils of a Swine is a foolish Woman, for this Genitive suis in the singular number comes from the Nominative Sus which signifies a Swine.  
I could also further prove this her exceeding folly, by natural reason, for that man being the head of the Woman, and the head being the seat of the Brain, by so much the more is the man more wise, more discreet, more judicious in all affairs than the Woman. This I also prove by a Proverb: he that commands, aught to be all times better than they that obey. Now since the Man by God's ordinance, aught to have command over his Wife, and the Woman to owe him obedience, we may well conceive that very nature hath given him more strength, more courage, more gravity, more goodness, more judgement, more prudence, more honour and dignity then to the Woman.  
See yet further another reason of the Sottishness and imprudence of Women; as nothing more bestializeth the Spirit, nor more forcibly dulls the quickness and ripeness of the understanding, nor which so much debaseth the actions of the faculties and habits of the Soul than intemperance and sensuality; so also there is nothing that more subtilizeth the vivacity of the Spirits than Continence and Chastity. This was that noble virtue, which elevated Plato above the rest to the contemplation of the Intelligences and metaphysical substances, and facilitated to him the perfect knowledge of divine and transcendent things. Foe it is believed, that he never was m●●…ied, affecting and embracing Chastity through the whole course of his Life.  
Now beyond all controversy the Woman is more lascivious and more insatiable of that impure pleasure then man, and by consequent less judicious and less capable of reason in all her transactions; and so I proceed to that antecedent, that she rightly deserves for her incontinence, to be termed Concupiscence itself.   

C  
Concupiscentia Carnis.  
Concupiscence: Lust of the Flesh.  
FOr she hath two insatiable appetites, which the Wiseman compareth to the two forkets in the Tongue of an Horseleech, Leech, The Horseleech hath two Daughters crying give, 
Prov. 30.  give— by which this little Animal draws and sucks the blood of men with so much greediness, that she thereby bursts and dies. So Woman, with the avidity of her sensual desires, sucks out the substance, the health and life of her slave without any satisfaction; this is evident to those who are versed in History, I shall only therefore to this purpose, produce and cite the example of Messalina, the Wife of the Emperor Claudius Caesar, who to make ostentation of her intemperance, went on a time into the public stews, and there prostituted her body to all Goers and Comers, waging with the most impudent and salacious Harlot in Rome, that she would endure more men, than she could, and won the wager, having laid with 25. several Ruffians in one night, and that with so much vigour and continuance of Lust, that as Juvenal saith,— Et lassata viris nondum satiata recessit; she departed in the morning from the Brothel, wearied, not satisfied; and the other who lost this execrable wager, for her part had been polluted with three and twenty. A most manifest proof of their incontinency.  
But that which increases and adds to the blame of these miserable wretches, is this, that with their appetite after these delights and pleasures, they wast and consume in a short time, the Estate and Wealth of their Lovers without any companion or commiseration of their future misery; being like the Ivy, which fastening itself to any Tree, embraceth and claspeth it so straight and hard, and draws its moisture from it so greedily, that Nature not being able to replenish it with sap and nourishment, it soon becomes dry and withered, without juice or vigour.  
For these unsatiable Women stick so fast to the profuse liberalities of those that Idolise them, that having them once at their discretion and management, they will so drain and coaks them out of their money, that soon after, those wretched deluded persons, must be compelled to take lewd courses, either to the Highway, or at best to the servile and base condition of Informers and Catchpoles.  
This we see in the example of the prodigal Son, who being constrained by extreme famine, to betake himself to the Trough of the Swine, returned at last quite naked to his Father's House. For these covetous Creatures take with both hands, and demand things of their Idolaters with such importunity, of those especially who they know have sufficient to answer it, that no such dare refuse them under the fear of, and to avoid, their high displeasure.  
Sometimes they demand a jewel, other time smaller Trifles as Hoods, Scarves, Petticoats, nay Pantofles, nay they will descend to provant, bread and wine, and a Dish or two of Meat, but commonly in so great a quantity, that quickly they will be as chargeable as wearisome; & if herein you refuse them but a tittle, all the services in the World, and all your past Obligations on them, are not competent to their fury and disdain.  
There are proofs enough in History, and first that beautiful Hynes, so much beloved by Charles the seventh King of France, who valued the alone possession of her Love at so high a rate, that not only she enriched her poor Parents, but was still so furnished and stored with Gold and silver, that she could leave by her last Will and Testament threescore thousand Crowns, to that place were she was buried.  
The Learned Atheneus reports another story (more prodigious than this) of Phryne the Courtesan, who had got so much wealth in Love's Combats, that she offered to the Inhabitants of Thebes, money enough to rebuild the Walls of their City, beautified with 100 goodly Gates, provided they would place in the Portals this Inscription, Alexander evertit, Phryne amica erexit; Alexander demolished them, and Phryne the Courtesan hath reared them: Plutarch speaking of the same Woman saith, that she was so confidently shameless, as to offer at the Temple of Apollo the Statue of Venus all of pure Gold, whereon these words were Engraven, Ex Graecorum intemperantia, intimating that she had acquired the price of the said Statue by the Lusts and intemperance of the Grecians.  
How filthily lewd was this miserable creature? who can doubt but that she was the very sink and common-shore of all impurity, and the utter ruin of debauched Youth? But not to search further among Historians, it may without their authority be affirmed, that their concupiscence and carnal desires is arrived to such a height in this deplorable age, that if those Diamonds, Pearls and Rubies, those chains of gold, bracelets, those rich garments of Satin and Velvit, those gaudy dresses and attires, those plumes of Feathers and Fans, which they wear for the ornament of their vanity, were examined, we should find them to be the ruin of entire and great Patrimonies, of well furnished Houses, nay, of private, though gay, Lodgings and Chambers: So true it is, that so fleshed they are with, and yet so immoderate in the pursuit of their obscene pleasures, and the goods of fortune; for which reason we may further term them.   

D  
Duellum Damnosum.  
A dammagable Dolour or Sorrow.  
MAn hath not in all the world a more cruel enemy than Woman, and which more sensibly and apparently is hurtful to his life, his honour, and all his fortunes, nor which more maliciously opposeth all his designs.  
A French Poet enumerating all the evils and misfortunes, which men have received by and from women, seems to impute to heaven its sending them into the world for their scourge and torment in these Verses.  
God sent the Woman unto Man below,  
With thousand snares spread in her amorous eyes,  
Having a box in hand with mischief filled,  
All seeds of ill, suits, discords, grief, and care,  
Old age and death; mine was for her dower.  
Venus with thousand beauties graced her front,  
Apollo did the like unto her speech.  
Vulcan did forge her heart, and confidence  
Mars gave: Insum, the angry heavens so  
Disguised her, that man looked, and liked, and linked,  
And so his race undid, (his grace extinct.)  
The same Poet speaking of the danger of conversing with them, proceeds,  

Hear, wand'ring Mortal, that so blindly hastes  
To servitude; at least see whom you choose:  
If rich she be, prepare to be a slave,  
Suffer, and murmur not, be blind and deaf.  
If she be proud and scornful, she'll pretend  
To general knowledge; thou'rt a sot, and art  
Too happy in her love; thou must not dare  
To cross her will, and her ambitious thoughts.  
The Galleyslave that ever tugs the Oar,  
More happy is than thou with such a whore.   

If she be poor, with that you also wed Innumerable discommodities,  
A charge of children, crosses, losses too;  
Contempt will make you hid your face from friends,  
Care and necessity will breaks your heart.  
So look for all that lies in mischief's art.   

If she be fair, resolve ne'er to be free  
From jealousy and care. First, do but see  
And mark your neighbour's eye, than every man's,  
To think to hinder this, is such a task  
As Sysiphus', bound to roll the stone:  
A perfect beauty ne'er was one man's own.   

If she be ugly, then bid love adieu,  
Such as her body, such her mind is too:  
Your house will always be a dark some Jail,  
The Sun no more will pleasant on you shine.  
In brief, by this, guess of her froward ways,  
She will be trouble some within three days.   
The Poet could not better express the annoyance she is to man. But to come a little nearer the matter, I will add another remark of a great person to this purpose; It is hard, saith he, to find out a good wife, and suitable and agreeable to those conditions which are required in every good marriage. For if she be a young maiden, she is usually faulted in this, that though probably her first love may be fixed on a person, and from her discretion may afford him the first draughts and traicts of that affection; yet she may reserve enough to gratify the prerogative of her own inclinations: but if it so happen, that the humour of her husband be contrary thereunto, she shall carry love in her eyes, and grief in her breast; for being united in body, but thus divided in heart. She will sooner be a woe she should not, than a wife she should be.  
If she be super-annuated and old, there is danger, that coming so late to the sport, hunger have not made her to break her fast, in the doing whereof she will not want for devices, by a sugared and far deportment to her husband; her artifices shall broke to her incontinence, and possibly after all she may go seek the Fruit, where she lost the Flower.  
If she be a Widow, her importunate remembrance of the dead will take place of love; but if she have had children, 'tis extreme covetousness to gather two crops out of one field; but if she have had none, 'tis imprudence to cultivate that Vine which never bore fruit, a Woman being as a Vine in the house of her Husband.  
If she be rich, the poor man shall find her costly and proud, her speeches to him shall be punishments, her actions preparations to his funerals. It is a strange kind of Martyrdom for a man to live in that house, which belongs unto his wife.  
If she be fair, Beauty is a vain thing, and favour is deceitful, as the Wiseman saith; jealousy will soon rage's, that disease in the head will beget suspicion of disloyalty, and a fear of being made Knights * of the Order of the Crescent, and to wear its Arms.  
If she be whorish and given to Venery, she will love your purse better than your mouth, you shall be sure to pay for the pleasure; she will look you pleasantly in the face, and pick your pocket. Banqueting and feasts will be the first Essay, gifts and presents the next profusion in this your Apprenticeship; so thinking you have got the world, you shall possess a woman, who shall be the world to all, a common Tenure. And though she may be covetous as to house-keeping and care of the main, yet will her vanity render her prodigal; and she will so compass her designs with her enticeing and charming semblances of extraordinary kindness, that the pitiful Cuckold dares not nor cannot deny her, for love is never covetous. Often must the Coffers be opened to buy rich apparel, silk Gowns, lockets set with Jewels, Pendants, etc. the modes and fashions of the times. To conclude, she will reap so clean in her husband's estate, that nothing will be left for him to glean for a supply to his necessities.  
For the rest of this Batch, I remit the courteous Reader to that elegant Translation, which the Seur de Souhait has made of Homer's Iliads, towards the end of his Book, where he shall find I have said nothing here of mine own brain and invention, and that nothing is more abhorred by me than to fain and make lies, thereby to charge and tax the vices of naughty women, in the hurt and evil they do to the other sex, either by acquaintance or by marriage. What I have further to say to this point therefore I shall allege out of approved Authors.  
Plutarch in his tract of brotherly love, hath this passage, A certain Lacedaemonian being reproved by some, for that he had married a very little woman, replied very sharply thus: You have no reason at all to blame me, for it was an act of prudence, of evils to choose the least. Another there is to the same purpose of a Gentleman of Rome, who appearing the day after his marriage in a very pensive and disconsolate posture, was demanded by some of his familiar friends what thing it was that could afflict him, having espoused such an extraordinary handsome wife, rich, and nobly descended. To whom, showing them a new Shoe which he had put on, he answered; As you know not in what place of my foot this Shoe wrings me, although you see it well and handsomely made, and to the size of my foot; so neither can you, nor any body else beside me, know wherein my wife may incommodate and trouble me. For as the Greek Proverb hath it, Ships and Women are never so exactly and completely framed, as that there is nothing in them to mend.  
Plutarch tells another story of a person called Pittacus, much reverenced for his valour, wisdom, and justice; this man upon a time feasting some of his friends, kindred, and strangers, it happened that his wife fell a railing on him with much fire and fury; which he endeavouring to repress, she was so outrageously impudent, as to over-turn the table and all that was set upon it. Whereat when the strangers seemed to be much abashed and ashamed, Pittacus, to show his constancy, contented himself in saying pleasantly, There is no person in the world that wants not something; but for me, I were the most happy if it were not for this cross piece my wife, who so afflicts me, that I am well ranked in the number of the miserable.  
Marcus Aurelius, as renowned a Philosopher as valiant Emperor, having married to his second wife Faustina the daughter of Antoninus Pius, the most unchaste and salacious of her sex, made this answer to some discourse concerning it; It is six years since Antoninus Pius gave me his daughter to wife, and the Empire for her dower; but we were both deceived, as much the one as the other, he in adopting me to be his son in law, and I in wedding his daughter.  
The same Emperor having experimented the sharp points of his wives extreme badness, and desiring that himself alone might suffer such martyrdom, left this good advertisement to all men, young and old Fly lewd women as the plague, for no Viper or Serpent hath so much poison as a wicked woman hath throughout her body, and particularly in her tongue.  
Plutarch accosts us again, and tells us, That there is nothing more light than a woman's unbridled tongue, nothing more picquant or stinging than her outrages, more rash than her audaciousness, more detestable than her malice, more dangerous than her fury, more dissembling than her tears, to which purpose they are often called Crocodile tears; for as that cruel Creature weeps over the head of any man it kills, not out of compassion, but to soften it, to the intent the more easily to draw out the brain, which is the dainty bit; so naughty women, when they cry in their anger, 'tis not from themselves, but from rage and despite, that they cannot revenge themselves as they desire, nor know not how to bring about their wicked purposes and designs. See we here also what is said in favour of them in this ancient Proverb:  
A good Lawyer is an ill Neighbour.  
A good Soil is an ill Road.  
A good Mule is an evil Beast.  
A good Woman's an ill help.  
For if you do consider and observe these two last creatures at a nearer view, you will find some contradictory humours in them, as from the influence of the Moon. To which purpose, a certain facetious person being asked, What God did with the old Moons, seeing that Planet so oft renewed itself every month, presently replied, that he put them into the heads of Women and Mules, which are called by Rhodig. Selenitudes, which is to say, Lunatics, for that these two sorts of creatures have always some of the Moon's inconstancy, increasing and waning in their opinions, not only every month, but almost every hour. And to say no more of the Mule, it is notorious in the forming of the Woman, that she was to the man a spirit of contradiction, for God framed her body out of one of his crooked and cross ribs, as a presage, that she should prove wayward and contrary to him in all his actions. It was the witty answer of one to those who wondered to see the drowned corpse of his wife to swim above water, My masters, quoth he, 'tis heaven that presents this miracle to you, that my wife hath been a thwart to me through all my life, and that against the Law of God and of Nature, she has perpetually contraried me in my designs.  
I shall leave this crime to pursue another, and show, that the remedy which is used and applied to all other evils, by coercion and restraining of their violence, renders them the worse, putting them into an unquenchible heat and fury. So that one may with good reason call them   

E  
Exitium Iracundissimum.  
Envious Rage.  
CHoler of itself (to speak properly) is no Vice, but rather an Instrument of virtue, for being not an Intention or desire to chastise, punish, or correct all unjust and unbeseeming actions, it is necessary that he who exercise th● justice, must have something of that passion to prove that he abhors such unequity: but when this passion exceeds its limits, and that it Master's reason, raising and conjuring up such furious storms in the Spirit of a man to the precipitation of him into those Designs, which seem fairest and dearest to his beloved revenge, than it becomes a violent rage and the ready road to Madness, a foolish passion, which hurries men into unlawful actions, will be judge and party, would have all men to be of the same scandalous intemperance, which yet cannot bar or hinder a sorrowful repentance.  
Which gave occasion to Pythagoras, to say, That Choler was the beginning of repentance: But that which is more deplorable is this, that it fastens itself so tenaciously to the Soul, that it not only deprives it of reason and judgement, rendering it like a Ship without Rudder, Pilot Sails or Oars, committed to the mercy of the Waves, Winds, Storms, and Tempests; but so changeth the man as to the outward part of him, that it is a pitiful sight to see and behold them, for it makes their face as red as the Gills or Combe of a Cock, inflames, and fills their Eyes with fury, deafens their ears, makes their mouths foam, their heart pant, disorders their pulse, blows up their veins, stammers the Tongue, locks the Teeth together, strains their voice to hoarseness, in precipitant and inconsiderate language; in short, it puts the whole body into a fiery Fever, lamentable to see or consider.  
Nevertheless we see four sorts of persons diversely inflamed by this passion, the one resemble the Chaff or Straw, which soon is set on fire, and soon consumes itself in the blaze, for their anger passeth away as suddenly as it comes readily: Others are like the hard Oak or Iron, which is with as much difficulty quenched, as it is difficultly kindled or heated, for they longest retain their spleen, who are the slower to, entertain it: others voluntarily thrust themselves into this indisposition of mind; and as unvoluntarily departed from it: The last are seldom so troublesome to themselves and others, and if it so happen, are easily appeased, the latter sort of these are certainly the best.  
But if you ask in which of these four we rank Women: I answer, in the Third, for they provoke and trouble themselves so often, and are appeased so difficultly, that they might well be consigned to the Hospital of the Incurables. Their Anger properly resembles the Dog that barks as soon as any one knocks at Door, not knowing whether it be Master or Man, a stranger or Domestic: Her sensitive faculties being the quickest, the least displeasure you do her, sets her off the hinges and transports her beyond herself, without considering what reason would do.  
Upon this very account of her alterations in this manner the Holy Ghost saith, by the mouth of the Wise man, that the wrath of a Woman is beyond comparison, for she is such a Furnace and violent Fire, that all the Water in the World cannot quench, especially when this wrath proceeds from some hate and rancour which she hath conceived against any person, for than she lets fly all the Arrows of her revenge, when like the Devil at Mack, she sets all her wits at work, particularly against him that would not comply with her lust and desire and the satisfaction of her pleasure. The proof of this is manifest in Maryzee, who seeing that Filander her husband returned nor so soon from his voyage as she wished, and therefore imagining that out of disdain he refused to revisit her, changed that great affection she had formerly for him into a greater hatred, and not being able to allay her fury, in vengeance, she wreaked it upon three children which she had by him, giving them poison in a potion, and took the like also herself, choosing and delighting rather to die herself and see her children do so, then to give any the least contentment to him who so passionately loved her, equally with himself.  
Antonius' Muret in his first book, c. 12 of various Lessons, proposeth examples of certain Women, who shown themselves implacable towards those who would not condescend to their filthy pleasures.  
The first of them was the Wife of Potiphar, who having not the power to corrupt and debauch Joseph by her alluring persuasions, accused him to her Husband, for an attempt of a rape, and although this were an imposture, and an effect of the rage of Love, yet was he imprisoned with Gyves and Manacles on his feet and hands, through the credulity she had begot in her husband.  
The second was Phaedra, who because she could not enjoy the Love of Hippolytus her son in law, accused him to her husband to have attempted her honour, and effected so much by her counterfeiting dissembling tricks, that Hippolytus was torn and drawn in pieces by wild Horses.  
The third was Antia, wife to King Praetus, whose entreaties not prevailing with Bellerophon to lie with her, she addressed herself to the King with a false charge, that he would have polluted his Conjugal and Royal Bed, and thereupon demanded his life; which was taken away afterwards by the stratagem of a Letter, that is since grown into a Proverb.  
The fourth was Philonome, who being denied her pleasure by Tennis the son of Cygnus, accused him to his father to have solicited her to uncleanness; which the father too vainly believing, commanded him to be enclosed in a chest, and thrown into the Sea.  
The fifth was Hippolyta, wife of Acastus, the King of Magnesia, who not gaining the affection of Poleus to her wanton services, impeached him to her husband, that he would have violated and corrupted that fidelity she ought him, and so caused his life to be taken away.  
The sixth was Hippodamie, the wife of Pelops, who riding abroad made him believe she was extreme thirsty, which caused her husband to alight out of his Chariot, with Myrtillus the driver. Pelops was no sooner walked off, but she solicits her Charioteer to lie with her, which he loyally refused; and no sooner returned, but she acquaints him, that Myrtillus would have forced her; which he also believing, threw the said wretch into the Sea there adjoining.  
The seventh was the beautiful mother of Timasian the Egyptian, who failing of her design upon the chastity of her son in law, challenged him to his father, not of the intent of adultery with her, but of buggery, a greater wickedness; which so incensed the father, that he forced him streightwith into banishment.  
The eight was Fausta the daughter of Maximinus, wife of Constantine the Great, who was so in love with Crispus her son in law, which he had by one of his concubines, that she endeavoured by all means to entice him to her bed; but finding him not to be debauched, she changed this ardent love into an irreconcilable hatred, and accused him to the Emperor of endeavouring th'dishonouring of her. Upon which information the Emperor caused him to be slain; though afterwards understanding the falseness of his wife, and the truth of the aforesaid matter, he doomed her also to die, to serve as an example to all other women who would thus revenge the refusal of their baseness and impudicity, out of an insupportable rage, and unsatisfiable anger and hatred.  
I shall name no more Histories, but only in the last place say, that this choler is more common and more violent among women than among men; for this passion residing always in the weaker sort, which woman is naturally more than man, no marvel if she be so extremely subject thereunto.  
We see by experience, that the feeblest creatures, as Pismires, Sparrows, and Cats, as also Infants and sick persons, are always more choleric and impatient, than those that are strong. For the Naturalists observe, that the Lion is so gentle and clement, that he will not meddle with children, or with women, although he be never so hungry, and though he be King for his strength and courage above all other savage beasts. This, in my opinion, is also one of the reasons, wherefore a woman is so perfidious and disloyal, for anger drowning her spirit, and transporting of her, unfaithfulness soon masters her mind, and then she cares not how often she break her most serious promises, although confirmed by a thousand protestations: Which if I prove, no body will be angry, if I place upon their forehead these two words, which agree together in Gender, Case, and Number.   

F  
Falsa Fides.  
False Faith.  
A Woman is a creature so difficult to be known, that the most ingenuous spirit in the world knows not certainly to define her; she hath about her so many cabinets, such back-shops, so many secret holes, such cunning warehouses, that one knows not wherein to trust her; now she laughs, presently she'll cry for the same cause; now she will, by and by she will not; now she's sad, straight she's merry; now like a Lamb, presently like a Satire. In fine, he is yet to be born that knows not her instability and lightness, inconstancy and infidelity.  
I say, nothing in the world is more perfidious and shifting than the female sex, which appears in this, that to accomplish their designs, they will deceive both father and mother, and the best of their friends, even him whom they pretend to be the life of their life.  
I refer myself to what is recorded in the Book of Genesis of that first woman, who knew not how, or would not keep that fidelity she owed to God, for six hours, which might have rendered her posterity happy for ever. Now if this noble and accomplished creature knew not how to be faithful to her Maker, it is no wonder if others, being far less perfect, are not the most virtuous towards men. But the greatest misfortune that can befall a man, is, that she not only glories in her treachery, but provokes and tempts others to the like disloyalty. Of this there needs no other proof than that servant-maid of the Highpriest Caiaphas, who accosting and communing with the Prince of the Apostles, discoursed with him with such artifice, and urged him with such boldness that she made him deny his Saviour. Therefore no way is a woman to be trusted, especially for her tears, we must not be mollified by them; for, as Cato saith, then is the time wherein they lay their ambuscadoes.  Dum foemina plorat, decipere laborat. 
Treacherous Dalilah is a proof likewise of this, for being urgently desirous to understand and get from Samson the meaning of his Riddle, to acquaint therewith his enemies of his happiness and his fortunes, she wept in his presence, pretending to be exceedingly troubled; by which dissimulation and cunning she gained the interpretation, and was the means afterwards of his destruction and ruin.  
How great the fickleness of this creature is, there are so manifest proofs, that he who denyeth them would attempt Truth itself; this Cato so well knew, that he did use frequently to repent of three things; the first, that he ever passed a day idly; the second, that he ever went by sea when he might have gone by land; and the third, that he ever trusted a secret to a woman.  
Plutarch saith in his Opuscula, that Augustus Cesar having declared a secret concerning the affairs of his own Estate and Empire to his good friend Fulvius, he at his return home acquainted his wife with it, who reported it again to Livia the wife of Cesar, who being therewith extremely troubled, went forthwith to her husband to give him intelligence of it, and in such sharp and feeling language repeated the story, that Augustus was very much incensed against Fulvius, who had discovered his secret; and thereupon the next morning, when he came according to custom to salute the Emperor with a, Salve Cesar, the gods preserve thee; he instantly replied, The gods make thee wiser and better advised another time. Which return sat so close to the spirit of Fulvius, that departing home, he called his wife and said unto her, It is now necessary that I die, and by my own hands bereave myself of my life, for that Cesar hath cast in my teeth that I have not kept secrecy of those things which he committed to me. To which she rejoined, You will do well to do so, it being your own fault; for having lived so long with me, you could not but know the length of my tongue, and therefore not able to contain this secret. But give me leave, since I deem myself faulty, to kill myself first; which she performed in his presence.  
In the same place, the same Historian recites another no less remarkable, of a certain Roman, who coming home from the Senate, was importuned by his wife to tell her the concern of those affairs which were transacted that day in the Court; and the sooner to over-perswade him, she seemed not only to be troubled and discontented that her husband should have no more confidence in her, but she also fell a weeping, protesting and swearing that she would faithfully conceal it. The Roman, who partly knew the temper and humour of his wife, bethought himself of a handsome wile, to prove the faithfulness of his wife, and thereupon told her, We are much troubled in the Senate upon the relation, the Pontifices and the Augurs have assured us that they saw in the Air, to wit, a Lark armed with a Pike and Corslet; and we are in pain while we know whether this portends the State good or evil: But be you sure you speak of it to no body. Having thus laid the design, he returned to the Palace; when presently his wife calling one of her maids, weeping, and wailing, and clapping her hands on her breast, and tearing her hair, by these lamentations and gestures invited the wench to inquire of her what she ailed; whereupon she incontinently rehearsed all that her husband had told her, not failing in a title, (adding, as the custom is of all babbling persons, or the burden of a song) But take heed (saith she) you do not discover this to any person. She had no sooner done speaking but out went the maid, who straight sought out, and told it to one of her companions, and she immediately to a Sweetheart of hers, who was come to give her a visit, and he with the like expedition to others; so that in a very short space the news was come to the ears of the Senate, and before the husband of the said Lady could arrive at the Palace, it was full of the news. Being there arrived, a friend of his met him, and demanded of him if he came newly from his house; to which he answered affirmatively. Then, quoth the other, you know nothing of the news. Of what, saith he, Is there any thing happened since? Yes, said the other, for the Senators are to assemble to be informed, what the Lark which hath been seen in the air, armed with a Pike and a golden Helmet, doth signify. The Senator smiling, went directly into the Senate, to satisfy them of this prodigy of the Lark, declaring unto them, that it was a fable he had invented to try his wife; which having done, he went thence home, and repairing to his wife said unto her, You have served me very finely, your unbridled tongue is the cause why the secret of State is discovered, and will also be the cause of my quitting my house and country. But the woman wanted neither wit nor answer, for, quoth she, Are there not three hundred Senators that heard it as well as you? and why then must you be the Revealer? What three hundred do you mean replied he? I framed the story to see how tacit you could be, to serve as an evidence of that little trust which is to be reposed in women.  
Aulus Gellius hath a more pleasant story than this, of a young boy named Papyrius, who coming from the Senate with his father, which was the custom of the Patricii of Rome, was so importuned by his mother to relate what had passed there, that he was forced, to content her, to feign this tale: Mother, saith he, this Question is now before the Senate, Whether it were more profitable for the Commonwealth, that a man should have two wives, or that a woman should have two husbands; this is to be resolved on to morrow morning. At which his mother was so astonished and confounded, that she went to her neighbours and some other Roman Matrons, and there declared to them what the Senators had propounded; and so solicited the business, that the most noble and great women of the City came the said morning in a lamentable plight to the Senate, and there most earnestly beseeched the Fathers that they would decree and ordain, that women should have two husbands, and not contrariwise. The Senators being much amazed at this request, and not knowing what should be the cause, the Lad risen up and related what had passed betwixt him and his mother; for which he was very highly commended, and a Decree past the Senate, that thenceforward no children should be admitted into the Senate with their fathers, save He alone, in respect to his prudence and discretion.  
I find also another story (which deserves our note) of a certain Abbess, who entertaining Pope John the 22. then being in France upon certain occasions, asked his permission, that Nuns might make Confession one to another, without having recourse to others than of their own sex, not judging it necessary or fit, that the imperfections which accompany it should be laid open to men. But this holy Father, to rid himself handsomely of this request, gave unto her a Box, desiring her to keep it warily and faithfully until such time as he could advise with the Cardinals, and others of his Council, in a muter of so great importance. But according to the manner of her sex, who naturally are curious and nice to see and know all things, she could not refrain from opening it, to see what was within, which she had no sooner done, but out flew a small Bird, which took wing into the air beyond the possibility of her regaining it, which made her extremely pensive. The Pope returning to her Convent, the first thing of all he asked for was his Box, which she returning empty, he took occasion to blame her in good earnest, and said to her, My friend, I see well that you have no Cellar, and that the secret of Confession would be ill lodged with you, since your curiosity knew not how to keep that, which with so much engagement of trust I committed to you; and I well see, that it would be a very misbecoming thing for you, to give to one another the Authority to hear Confessions, and to absolve in cases of conscience, which ought so faithfully to be concealed, and so diligently kept, it being a Sacrilege worthy of the greatest punishment for a Confessor to reveal them. Being therefore no better Secretaries than men, you must not take it strange at my hands that I cannot allow of your request. The poor Abbess being all abashed, dared not to reply further, her curiosity giving manifest proof of her levity and inconstancy.  
The Father Delcio saith, that he had read in certain Authors, that a certain woman being pregnant with a little Daemon, cried out divers nights these words, Light, Volatile, Foolish, Inconstant, which she reiterated often, being big with the same inconstancy, which was known afterwards when she was delivered of it, it never ceasing to skip, and gambole, and tumble up and down; which shown, that certainly it was the same inconstancy, by which you may perceive, that Woman is the mother of it.  
Desportes the Poet hath several acquaint Verses to this purpose, personating of one who defied the sex, as follow.  
She must he handsome, made of chastity,  
And not too wise that shall my faith abuse.  
But nothing more's unfaithful, nor so full  
Of plots and stratagems than she thus disguised;  
Who day and night talks nought but caution.  
Mischief's her purpose, she's of little brain,  
And lesser judgement, which inflates her mind.  
To what misfortunes are we thus condemned?  
She who is honestest would rathor have  
A single eye than but a single slave.  
The same Poet again, where he searcheth the matter more to the bottom, which follow likewise.  
O ignorant wisdom, and diseased reason,  
Glorious dishonour, and uncertain surely;  
Rest full of labour, pleasure made of pain,  
Damnifying profit, loyal treason,  
Smiles bathed with tears, voluntary gaol,  
A Sea which to our ruin Siren's breeds,  
A solid wind, foundation on the sand,  
Winter disguised in the verdant spring.  
Lightning, whose flashes wet our bones within,  
Without appearance how it entered in!  
Disloyal friendship, oath without faith or troth,  
Gins, fire, snares, nets, which those are blind may lay.  
Happy is he himself knows to defend;  
But who is that? that grace to me God send.  
My grief will never have an end.  
This brave Poet had reason to conclude in this manner; for he is a Phoenix in the world that can warrant himself against the arrows and disloyal revenges of women, especially when their minds are possessed with malice, at what time they whet the edge of their tongues against the worth of those whom they intent to offend, being either justly or imaginably displeased, which I will show in this their due Epithet, according to the order of the Alphabet.   

G  
Garrulum Guttur.  
Garrulity of Tongue.  
Women have such propensity to talk, that the greatest punishment they can suffer, is hindering them from babbling; the proof hereof is evident in a certain widow, who suing to a Judge on her knees, he no sooner began to speak, but she as instantly replied, Sir, God has been so favourable to me, as to give me many children, but I never had so much pain in bringing them into the world as this, caused through the impatience of holding my tongue. A manifest testimony of the grievousness of that punishment, being counted by her worse than childbearing.  
I find out the secret of this imperfection in Genesis; for God forming the woman of a Rib, hard and crackling, and the man of earth, importing his indisposition to noise, it was a kind of fore-judging, that man by nature should be silent and reserved, and the woman talkative and babbling. Aristotle speaks much to the same purpose, affirming, That a magnanimous man is neither bauler nor prattler, for that through his prudence, nothing is either new, or rare, or great, or wonderful; and adds further, That it is a certain sign of a lose ungoverned spirit, and of a frail and feeble nature.  
We see also with Plutarch, that men teach the children of Kings and Princes to speak low, as a discipline befitting their courage, and the gravity of such personages. Princeps gravitate vocis monstrat imperium. Wise men have always held it as a true Maxim, that a talking man is nearest of kin to a woman, and that therefore he should wear the attire of them. Of this opinion was Plautus, who saith, That the most unalterable and certainest moveables of a woman, are her words and unnecessary clamours. To which purpose I remember one, who thinking to hit the business, said, That they had two Quivers full of Arrows, the one of Cries, and the other of Tears; but he might have better said, that they were both filled with Clamours, for they hive this industry, that they can weep without cause, and when words are not strong and passionate enough, use sighs and tears.  
The Prophet Jeremy notes it elegantly in these terms, Neque laceat pupilla oculi, 
1. am. 2.  thereby signifying, that tears are as expressive as words of the mouth. Juvenal goeth farther, for he affirms, That women surpasses in chatting and babbling the Grammarians, Rhetoricians, Lawyers, nay, the very vulgar itself; Cedunt Grammatici vincuntur Rhetores, omnis Turba clamat, nec causidicus, nec praecoloquitur, altera nec mulier, verborum tanta cadit vis, tot pariter pelves, tot ●intinnabula dices pulsari. But this which adds to their imperfection, is, that they can hardly range or compote themselves to silence, for which reason we say, That to mske a woman hold her tongue, there were but two points, showing his fists, an ambiguity in the French Tongue, being an Harmonying of words in the pronunciation. But however, to let pass that equivocation, neither points nor reason can stop their talk, as we may see in the wife of that man, who not being able longer to endure her contumelious language, she having among other opprobrious words called him, Lousy fellow, put her down into a well, where by degrees he sunk her, she still persisting in this her raillery: at last he ducked her quite over head and ears, when to show the obstinacy of her spirit, and virulency of her mind, being not able to speak, she put her two thumbs above water, making sign with them of killing of louse, her thumbs being Agent for her tongue.  
From this imperfection I remark two things, the first is, That there are few women which are innocent, for being for the most part apt to prate, seldom are they without sins, for that too much speech hath always that misfortune attending on it; 
Prov. 10.  In many words there is iniquity. The second is, for that very difficulty they obtain salvation, and the grace of God, for that their confessions are for the most part unfruitful, by being not entire and perfect, [This is a la mode Roman.] The learned Vtinensis observes, that they are ordinarily defective in three cases, That they seldom or never confess, their exceeding vanity in habit, supposing it due to their sex; their Lusts either of will or effect, according to the nature of the sin, or the circumstances of them; which happens through shame or custom: And superfluous discourse and talk, which, as before was said, is sinful, and for which an account must be given to God.  
St. Gregory in his seventh Book of Morals, cap. 25. saith, That all words are idle when they are spoken without just necessity, or when they are not seasoned with a godly and religious intention: and if God will not suffer such to go unpunished, how will he away with perpetual and unbounded talk, the blasphemies, the detractions, the murmurs, the lascivious tales and fictions, which are frequent amongst impudent women.  
You may see by experience, they will scold three weeks an end, and when all comes before the Priest, Non ' est vox neque sensus, neither voice nor sense, they are as mute as fishes. I knew an Hostess, worthy of belief (though she be a woman as the rest) who protested in my company, that she would rather lodge thirty soldiers or travellers, than four women together in the same chamber, not only for the trouble of waiting on them, but for the stir and noise they make, even to the not hearing of themselves: And that which is worse, often they fall, de verbis ad verbera, from quarrelling to blows, with so much rage and fury, that we may justly place them in the predicament of a Fury of Hell, called by the Poets an Erinnys.   

H  
Hortis Horrenda.  
Hateful Enemy.  
I Well know that the Ancients, willing to extol the encomiums and praises of virtuous women, gave to the Muses feminine names, as Calliope, Clio, Euterpe, Thalia, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Urania, and many others; and I as well know, that to disgrace and impute to the bad, they have loaded them with the names which they have allotted to the Parae, the fatal goddesses, as Cletho, Lachesis, Atropos; and such as they give to the infernal Furies, viz. Allecto, Megaera, Tisiphone, and Erynnis, the last whereof being the most cruel, the Poets fain to be the Deesse of discord and malice: To which a woman is very fitly compared, for neither Lion, nor Tiger, nor Dragon, nor Panther, are so cruel, so fell, so barbarous, as she in her malice, whereof both Divine and Profane Histories have given such certain proofs, that no body but the Partisans and accessors to such cruelties, dare deny them.  
The holy Scripture in the first place showeth us, that Daniel was more safe among the hungry Lions, than just Naboth was by the practices of Jezabel, the wife of King Ahab, who, by two false Witnesses, took possession of his Vineyard, which, by right of inheritance, belonged to him, and afterwards caused him miserably to be put to death; having also butcherly murdered the Prophets of God.  
The same holy Writ gives us an example of the Prophet Ionas, in greater security in the belly of a Whale, than poor Samson in the arms and embraces of his Concubine Dalilah; for this treacherous She, knowing his strength to consist in his hair, by her dissembled kindnesses and entreats, over-persuaded him to rest, and lay his head in her bosom, where she wickedly despoiled him, and cut off his hair, and then basely delivered him, feeble as he was, to the merciless fury of his bloody enemies.  
We see further in the same Scripture, St. John the Baptist in full liberty and freedom in the fields and deserts, reverenced by Tigers, Lions, Dragons, and other savage beasts, not receiving the least hurt or damage from them; when by and by the same Saint is persecuted, oppressed, and unjustly imprisoned, at the instigation of lewd Herodias, who, to add to the full measure of her wickedness, caused his head to be cut off; and not therewith satisfied, demanded to have it brought before her in a platter in the midst of a Feast: What fury, what passion, what rage, what cruelty was this? to conspire against her Confessor, to design and devise the death of her Physician, to raise, as it were, the world, against an innocent person; not to respect him whom men Believed for the Messiah, to transgress the bounds of honour and modesty, to scandalise holy men, to condemn to the dungeon and irons a person so renowned and celebrated through the world, and to bring him to death, whom the Son of God had Canonised for the greatest among men! Certainly this was the horriblest cruelty ever exercised by any woman on Scripture-record.  
But if we seek further into profane History, we shall find more detestable examples of this, and which rather require our tears to deplore them, than pen and ink to describe them, and transmit them to posterity; and lo, one of the most tragical that ever I met with.  
Dion of Perusa reporteth, that Mark Anthony having caused the head of Cicero, the wonder of the Roman Orators, and his sworn enemy, to be brought before him, laid it on a table to feed and glut his eyes with the sight of it, and having so done, bade it be taken away; but his wife, to show the hatred she had conceived against this Father of eloquence, taking his head between her hands, spit upon the face, belching out a stomach full of imprecations and execrable reproaches; and withal having pulled out his tongue, she pierced it through with pins and needles, till she had satiated her cruelty.  
But yet see a more detestable story. Baudel in his Tragical Histories reports, that a Spanish Lady called Violenta (her name well suiting with her nature) finding herself deceived (by her Enamorato, a Cavaliero of the same Nation whose name was Diego) under the pretence of marriage, while he had espoused another, did with her allurements so far prevail with him, as to draw him one night to her house, pretending she would be at his discretion; only desired him, that she might have the respite awhile for three or four hours to sleep away that trouble, and the former discontent between them; and that in the mean while he would be pleased also to repose himself. But no sooner was poor Diego fallen asleep, but she, aided by her Chambermaids, strangled him, and not satisfied therewith, gave him five or six stabs with a poniard, as an addition to her revenge; then she pulled out his eyes and his tongue, and having opened his breast, she tore his heart out, and afterwards so wounded and mutilated his body, that no body could know one part from the other; and for a conclusion, to fulfil her cruelty, she threw him out of her window upon the stones below. The passengers were amazed and afraid at this pitiful and disfigured spectacle; but recollecting themselves, examined this Lady, who confessed the crime; whereupon Justice appointed a punishment worthy of her crime, which was executed in the presence of the Duke of Calabria, son of King Frederick of Arragon.  
I will not trouble you with more Histories, only add, That the Painters in their figuring the Infernal Furies, represent them with the visages of women, to show, that nothing better resembles a Tygress than a wicked woman, nay, the devil himself cannot be worse, whom, if the Paintings and Statues show with horns, the women are the same in their brooches, metamorphosing the heads of Men into those of Rams.  
If the devil appears in borrowed bodies, to seduce the most steadfast; women, they paint, mask, and patch their faces, to attract and entice the slaves of their pleasure. If the devil be the Tempter, women ●ore charming, more subtle, more artificial, know as well to tempt men, so that they overthrew more than Satan could do himself; and if the devil be so difficultly dispossessed of any place, particularly it is out of the head of a woman, as we may see by that handsome Ceremony used by the Church in Baptism, for therein the Priest exorcising the devil, if it be a male child names Satan twenty times, but if it be a female he repeats him thirty times; to intimate that it is more difficult to conjure him out of that sex. A Poet jesting on the subtlety of women, said, They are like the picture of St. Michael reversed, that hath the devil at his feet, and women at his head: But letting that pass, I say, That there is so much agreement betwixt those two, as that they will accord in cruelty; see here the verses.  
Women and Devils are each others like  
One, sinners tempts; th' other, the fond lover:  
This, charms our wishes; That, enchants our vows l  
This, with paint pleaseth us; That, with appearance:  
Both do deceive us with fair seeming hope:  
This, pierceth presently; That, keeps its fire.  
Devils their hell about them always carry,  
And women do the like in some respect:  
The one's ill for the ' live, That, for the dead:  
Of the one, the inside pleaseth; That, the out:  
One pains the body; the other grieves the mind:  
One for a time doth burn, the other ever.  
He that an equal full accord would see,  
Must stay till this mad couple wedded be.  
To sum up all their cruelty, take this; If the devil be malicious and envious of the salvation of men's souls, the women are so, and more solicitously of the good and content of those whom they hate; which affords us good reason to say, That they are the fire of Envy.   

I  
Invidiosus Ignis.  
Ire and Despite.  
OVid, that most famous Poet, saith in his second Book of his Metamorphosis, that the goddess Pallas desiring one day to see Envy, she went to the bottom of an obscure valley, where she kept her residence, but not willing to enter into so obscure a place, opened the door with the point of her Javelin, and there espied her; which Fiction being most elegantly transcribed by Mr. Sandys, is here inserted.  
Forthwith to Envy's Cave her course she bent,  
Furred with black filth within a deep descent,  
Between two hills, where Phoebus never shows  
His cheerful face, where no wind ever blows;  
Replete with sadness and unactive cold,  
Devoid of fire, yet still in smak enrolled.  
Wither when as the feared in battle came,  
She stayed before the house (that hateful frame  
She might not enter) and the dark door struck  
With her bright Lance, which straight in sunder broke:  
There saw she Envy lapping Viper's blood,  
And feeding on their flesh, her vices food:  
And having seen her, turned away her eyes.  
The Catiff slowly from the ground doth rise,  
Her half-devoured Serpents laid aside;  
Viewing her form so fair, her arms so bright.  
She groaned and sihed at such a cheerful sight, etc.  
All this is but a Fable, but it handsomely intimates all the deformities of this sin of Envy, and the wretchedness of the Envious.  
The Poet feigns, that Pallas found her in the form and shape of an old woman, to show, that Envy is a vice which hath reigned from the beginning of the world, for it was that which ruin'd Lucifer, and made him fall with his complices from heaven, out of an emulation to be equal with God, and from an envy of that felicity which was designed for man by the mystery of the Incarnation; according to St. Bernard and divers other Fathers. This was it which fomented that mortal hatred betwixt Cain and his brother Abel, for seeing that his works and his sacrifices were more acceptable to God than his own, he was so displeased, that he was thereby instigated to Manslaughter. This was it that made Joseph's brethren sell him to the Ishmaelites; which provoked and exasperated the Sacred College of the Apostles against St. John and St. James, for ask of our Saviour the honourable places of his right and left hand in his Kingdom. This is that which brought death into the world, according as the wiseman saith,  Invidià diaboli mors intravit in orbem terrarum. 
For the devil maligning the happiness of our first parents, presently resorted to them in that earthly Paradise, and prevailed so with his wiles and temptations, that he seduced them from the obedience they ought to God; from whence ensued hunger, thirst, poverty, misery, and sickness, which ever since convey us to our graves.  
You see then, that not without reason Envy appeared to Minerva like an old woman; she was also pale and wrinkled, to show, that the envious are ordinarily sad, pensive, and of frowning aspects, by seeing their neighbours prosper in goods, means, greatness, offices and riches.  
She bade in her hand a staff of thorn, with a hook at the end, to signify, that the envious never cease to vex, to carp, and examine, and disquiet any person, either of honour, knowledge, or virtue; and if not by evil-speaking, her madness will proceed to other means and ways, to render them infamous and ridiculous to the eyes of the whole world.  
Her heart was gnawed with Vipers, to intimate, that the envious seeing others to prosper, hath in his own breast those secret pincers which tear it in pieces, and molest it perpetually. To which purpose St. Angustine saith, That he would rather have Vipers within his body, than Envy within his soul; for as Vipers by't away the entrails of their mothers to make their way out of the womb, so Envy bites and pricks the mind of such a person, that he knows not on which side to turn to be at ease, and to find any rest.  
She inhabited the bottom of an obscure Valley, where neither Sun nor Wind could enter; to show, that envy lodgeth always in some base mind, and that the envious diffiding in their own merit, are always in vexatious disquiet, till they have tarnished and sullied the honour and repute of any person that is esteemed by the world. But that which is most observable in the Fable, is, That Minerva seeing the ugliness and deformity of Envy, would not enter into her solitude, but only knocked at door with the Spear of her Lance, importing, that nothing so much pierceth the heart of the envious, as the prudence, wisdom, and virtue of men of worth, nor that cuts them more to the quick.  
In sum, Envy seeing the beauty excellency, and dignity of Pallas, was ready to burst with despite, a further proof of that trouble which virtue causeth in the envious; which gave occasion to Themistocles to compare them to the Fly Cantharideses, that as those venomous Animals feed themselves of the best of the Roses, and other the most fragrant Flowers; so the envious nourish their hate by the heroic deeds and generous actions of others, endeavouring by all means to extinguish their virtues, and to make them contemptible in the eyes of the world.  
St. Austin compares this unfortunate vice to the Plague and Contagion, for as that drives men and women out of Cites and Towns, so envy not being able to endure wise and virtuous men to abide either in their privacies, or in the management of State-affairs, drives them into the world to seek their adventures, where they usually meet with many adversities.  
I observe moreover especially, That among all the Vices, there is none that is at so great a feud with Virtue as Envy; for if any of them are at enmity with virtue, it is that which is contrary and opposite to such a peculiar; as we see in Gluttony, which directly opposeth Abstinence; Lust, Chastity; Pride Humility; and so all the rest: but Envy sets herself generally against all, and attaques them also singly.  
Envy is injustice in itself, for nothing is more unjust than to rejoice in the evil that befalls another, and to be sad at h●s prosperity, although it brings them not either contentment or profit, and often no prejudice to the envied; for God, who knows how to draw evil out of good, doth as much advance and raise the good, as they endeavour to depress and undervalue them. This appears plainly in Joseph, who being maligned by his brothers, who designed the utter abolition of him in the affection and memory of his father and kindred, was by them cast into a pit, and sold to strangers; then was the time that God raised him, gaining him the favour of Pharaoh, who made him Viceroy of Egypt: But that which I note especially in the ordering that Providence, is, That God not only augments the goods and prosperity of those that are so envied, but also makes it a motive to the envious, to become honest men, and to render themselves worthy and capable of recovering the grace and blessing of God bestowed on the envied. For it is the ordinary course of Divine Providence to propose to sinners the virtues and and good examples of the just; howbeit, some of them may be persons contemptible and abject, according to their outward appearance, and in the world's esteem, thereby to stir in them a holy jealousy and emulation to follow their example, and to imitate them in those things which are related to virtue and salvation.  
We need no other proof hereof than the life of St. Austin, to whom God proposing the singular virtues, and the good examples of the holy and austere life of St. Anthony the Hermit, and others who lived in the same manner; the holy Doctor was so taken with Devotion, that being yet wallowing in the filth of sin, he cried out in a holy jealousy, Surgunt indocti, & rapiunt coelos, nos antem in doctrinis nostris sine corde ecce ubi volutamur in carne & sanguine: Are not we very miserable to continue in the filth of sin and voluptuousness, while the simple, the idiots, and the ignorants ravish Heaven of its evangelical perfection. This holy jealousy was in part the incentive to his Conversion, and that good life he led afterward.  
But to fall on my subject, I mark, that Ovid did not choose any thing in nature better to express the deformity and loathsomeness of Envy, than the resemblance or hieroglyphic of an old woman, described as before, intimating to us, that woman more than any other creature, makes herself the slave of imperfection; for if you make a narrower search, you shall find, that even the most virtuous will appear defective.  
All men know, that Sarah did so violently envy the good of her handmaid Hagar, because she had conceived (though with her own consent) by Abraham, that she compelled her shortly after to abandon her house. Rachel also envied the fruitfulness of her sister Leah; Martha likewise murmured against Mary her sister, because she sat at the feet of our Saviour, hearing his words, while she made ready his entertainment. To conclude, the envy of women is so transcendent, that the only way to avoid it is to be possessed of nothing; for what ever they see, that they covet; what ever they covet, they demand; and that which is worst, if you refuse them, all's lost, their love is changed into hatred, their hatred into detractions and injuries, with such a confusion of chat and railing, that I may well call them   

K  
Kaos Calumniarum.  
Confusion of Calumnies.  
CAlumny is a vice so detestable, that God abhors it equally with the rest; 'tis properly an envious detraction, woven with sinister and false interpretations of the words and anions of one's neighbours, designing the ruin of his honour, his life, and all his fortunes; it hath the devil for its grandsire, pride for its father, envy for its mother, a wicked mind for its abode, and the virtue of another for its matter.  
The devil being the author of this vice, it was very fit he should bear the name of it, for Diabolus is as much as to say Calumniator, a railing accuser. It was he who intending the ruin of the world in the persons of our first parents, calumniated (in the delusion of the woman) the commandment of God, persuading her, that he envied the contentment and felicity of man, and that he willed not that he should be like unto Him; a lie as false as detestable; from whence we infer, That Calumny is the devil's Pencil, Baelzebub's stamp and mark, the ruin of virtue, and a pattern or example of such as are graduates in the school of ignorance.  
For 'tis the custom of the foolish, wanting reason and truth, to have recourse to biting words, to make use of such teeth and claws, to by't, and scratch, and tear innocent souls, and such as thought not any way of offending them. So that whosoever would embrace an innocent life, and be a lover of virtue, must firmly resolve to arm himself against the battery of venomous tongues, and to rest assured, that a world of enemies, whom he knows not, will be knocking at the door of his conscience: For it is the portion of the children of God to undergo the persecution of tongues, and extremely happy are they that suffer it in patience: Blessed are you when men revile you, and speak all evil of you. And indeed if you observe, you may see, that such tongues meddle not with the wicked; for Calumny being the daughter of Envy, whose bent is against Virtue, a stranger to them; it follows, that they are not subject to reproaches. But that which aggravates most of all this vice, is, that it measures others by the Ell of their demerits, reproving them of that wherein themselves are guilty; without heeding that ancient Proverb,  
Impudent is he that would cure a sore,  
Not healing of himself having far more.  
This is clearly to be seen in History; the lustful wife of Potiphar accused chaste Joseph to have attempted her (but imaginary) honour; the same did those filthy Elders to the chaste Susanna. The enraged Jews deemed the Apostles, the sons of God, to be drunk with new wine, hearing them speak in all Languages, by the assistance of the Spirit of Truth. But I shall not insist longer upon any story, only repeat these verses.  
Calumny lodgeth in the proud man's head,  
Hath in a troubled furious brain its bed;  
Like to the Spider, (that what ere it takes,  
To poison doth convert) it virtue makes  
A vice to be, and all brave actions counts  
Evil to be, to reason wrong amounts.  
Like to the Wasps, who in the heat appear,  
Buzzing about, and stings for honey bear.  
Or like a villain Hostler, that deceives  
The wearied Horses, and them nothing leaves.  
The bad don't this to th'bad, for no man hates  
That which is like him, but what discrepates.  
The woman questionless is the most subject to this vice, for handling her tongue so nimbly, it is no marvel if very often it be injurious.  
The Prince of Philosophers not only terms her in his Politics a babbling creature, but adds also, That if at any time they happen to be eloquent, 'tis not to appear virtuous and wise, but to give proof of their impatience in talk; the clack of a mill is not so loud to the ears of passengers, as the prattling detraction of women to the lovers of silence; they will have sooner framed and reared a house full of injuries for the smallest thing in the world, than the best workman in the earth could have contrived one; they bestow so much industry, and have such a faculty of defaming those they hate, that their enemies are soon oppressed, and are constrained to give way to their calumnies; although their integrity might render them as unmoveable and impregnable as a Rock.  
I find a signal History in the 13 of the Acts, the Sacred Text holds forth, that the wicked Jews laying in wait for those two glorious Apostles, St. Paul and Barnabas, to make them departed from among them, and to bring them into disgrace with the people, advised, among other ways therein, this, as the most expedient, to employ certain religious and precise women, who, with no other weapons than their serpentine tongues, so effected their design, did so strenuously by their forgeries and lies impose upon the people, that they drove away those two Disciples out of the City with shame; and if women of fragrant Devotion, breathing nothing outwardly but Religion, could so deceivingly abuse the Apostles, the sons of God, being also blameless; no wonder if many others do the same, especially to those, who have no participation with their irregular affections.  
St. Gregory the Great in the second book of his Dialogues, chap. 23. reports, That St. Bennet having two religious Votresses near his Monastery, ordered one of his Monks, that was the simplest and modestest of his Convent, to serve them; and administer all things to them that should be necessary for the maintenance of their life. But in as much as the nobility of worldly extraction oftentimes puffs up the mind and courage of those that are so descended, and are very rich withal: these Gentlewomen could not any long time dissemble, under the habit of mortification, the vanity of their spirit, and the poison of their venomous tongues, insomuch that they not only contemned and despised the simplicity of the Monk that served them, but they vexed the injured, and scoffed at him so often, and in such a manner, that the poor man not being longer able to endure it, repaired to St. Bennet, complaining, and particularly enumerating the injuries and reproaches which for a long time he had endured from them, without replying a word again.  
St. Bennet having heard his complaint, sent them word, that if they would not refrain their tongues, amend from their course of speaking evil, and reform their manners, that he would excommunicate them, and cut them off from the participation of the Sacraments, and from the communion of the faithful.  
This threatening not prevailing to reform these two Nuns, it happened soon after they both died; at their obsequies, when according to their appointment Mass was to be said, and the Deacon standing up according to the custom, commanded all excommunicate persons to departed the Church; the Nurse of these two Nuns going (as is used) for them to the offertory, see them come out of their graves and to go out of the Church, at the same time that the Deacon spoke the aforesaid words; at which being much amazed, but at last remembering herself of the threatening St. Bennet had used to them when alive, that he would excommunicate them if they desisted not from the aforesaid injuries, she went to the said holy Father, and recounted to him her vision, who gave her with his own hand an oblation to present for them, assuring her they should be bound no longer by Excommunication, and that thereafter they should abide in their Tombs, which happened accordingly.  
From this story we collect these two things; first, That the reproaches used by these two Nuns were so odious and abhorrent to the Divine Majesty, that this eminent Father judged them worthy the major Excommunication, which is properly a rescinding of them from the mystical Body of Christ, and the participation of the Sacraments. The second is, That such contumelies, evil speakings, and the like, are a thousand times more  in those, who have betook themselves to the strictness and retirements of penitence, mortification, and evangelical perfection, than others, and consequently worthy of greater punishments.  
Now of all remedies, and to triumph gallantly over all these calumnies, and to silence them, this is the best; Not to reply, but to give way to them glorying and vaporing in the arrogance of their own conceit.  
The wise Socrates found no better to wear the Trophies of having overcome his two wives petulancy, as St. Jerome records, writing against that arch Heretic Jovinian; the story imports, That Socrates not being able to suffer the noise and tintamar of the opprobrious language they vomited out against him, went out of his house, yielding them the place, and seated himself upon a bench just over against the windows of the upper chamber: but these two women being ready to burst with madness to see themselves thus defected, to revenge themselves, took a chamber-pot full of stinking water and threw it upon his head; at which he moved not at all, to show them, that it was not in their power to shake his constancy, but replied merrily to them, I well know, saith he, that after thunder comes rain and foul weather; intimating, that the best way to keep out injuries, is, either to answer pleasantly, or nothing, especially to women in rage.  
This is taught us in a Christian Poem, as much to the purpose as the matter can deserve.  
In quarrels, contests, and in ill disputes,  
'Tis better quietly to submit and yield,  
Than to engage too rash and keep the field,  
For th'useless vanity of a repute.  
As when to Duel men engaged come;  
'Tis not thought wisdom to make too much play.  
Victory by retreating oft is got,  
An overthrow oft the pursuers lot.  
Better it is when, th'Ship is tempest tossed,  
To lore the sails than let top-gallant fly,  
And madly cast away both life and ship.  
Great is the power of condescension, so  
The Sun prevails, when boisterous Winds can't do.  
To which may be added these also,  
Be not transported by a rash desire  
Of having victory in all discourse;  
Honestly to recede it greater glory,  
Than to attempt unprofitable fame.  
At wrestling, 'tis not manhood for to break  
A joint of him that's thrown; for he that lay  
The undermost, oft risen and won the day.  
See here how we ought to comport ourselves amidst the fire of differences and dissensions, and particularly when you see women make a coil, without offering to smile, or to show any other pleasant gesture; for sometimes they make themselves choleric and furious, to intimidate and make those afraid, whom they purpose to shackle in their strong prisons; and yet they live so sweetly, that we may proceed and call them   

L  
Lepida Lues.  
Pleasant Contagion.  
THe poison of an Asp doth not sooner pierce into the inwards of a man, whom it hath secretly bitten, than an unchaste woman doth sweetly fascinate the eyes and, the heart of her lover: she hath so many artifices to compass her designs, that it would be an impossible attempt to write them down; for seeing she is the seat of wanton love, and one of the partakers with our three enemies, her glory is to show herself, and to be called, Mistress; yea, to fetter with cords of vanity the most subtle and unconfined persons of the world. This is discoverable by that admirable Hieroglyphic of Venus.  
Pausanias' making the Pourtract of this goddess of Love, represented her to be extremely beautiful of face, placing under her right foot a Lion, a Hare, a Bird, and a Fish; and under her left a Tortoise: her beauteous countenance, to signify, that the woman by the attractions of her countenance drew into her slavery true Herculese and sampson's; likewise Sardanapalusses and Heliogabalus' Hares in feebleness and delicacy; adam's and david's, true Birds in contemplation, solomon's in learning and wisdom; as also all sorts of men signified by the Fish swimming in the Sea of this great world. But that which is most notable, is, Venus had a Tortoise under her left foot, which is of that side with the heart, to show, that as the naturalists say, that creature ceaseth not to live although its heart should be pulled out; so the perishing beauty of a Woman hath such power over the slaves of her immodest impudicity, that she takes from them their heart, understanding, and wisdom, leaving them yet full of life, charming them in such a sort, that they remain blind, and then exposes them to a thousand vanities, and to attempts very near impossible.  
Tell me, I pray you, what would not a sensuate man do to gain the good grace and favour of her whom he adores in his heart? If he be a man of quality, and hath wherewithal to maintain his pursuits, God knows the expense he is at in courting his Lady; besides mimical apishness, cares, inquietudes, and stratagems; he must also know what colour she fancieth best, to cloth himself in that Silk, and give his attendants Liveries; he must run at the Ring in Tournament, must be seen at Balls, at Dances, and Masques; must salute their windows with morning-musick; he must put the letters of her name diversified and interlaced with yellow, green, grey, and black, upon the Cassocks, Aparisons, etc. of his Lackeys: he must quake four hours at the gate, relate his griefs bareheaded in at a window; he must be resolved at all turns to fight with his Rival, and give him the salute of a sword in his belly; must contemn all manner of danger, even death itself; he must offer his blood and his life to hollow and legitimate the sacrifice of his flame; must moreover admire her eyes, her hands, her hair, and her whole body; to attribute to her the name of goddess, darting, his sweet life, his dear soul, and such many like Epithets, such alluring sweetenings, and attracting miniardises, that we must use Pshyches' thousand to count them. But what do these good dames during this exercise? they foment the fire of love by a thousand inventions that they have in a readiness, fair speeches, protestations, promises, oaths, which carry the ensigns of friendship: Their Balls, their Feasts, their Banquets, their Gates, their Windows, the Streets, broad-places ●●…d the very Churches (O impiety! ●…erve them to lay their snares and gins, for to catch with those counterfeit notes the idolaters of their impurities: They have a whole Arsenal of aspects, gestures, actions, and idle looks; of gaudiness, ceremonies, full of confidence, readiness, fear, grief, doubt, vexation, the better to get the spoil of what they enterprise: They will wanton and play with the signs of their eyes, head, hands, gloves, handkerchiefs: Those hours they have free to greater designs, the posts, messengers and letters run charged and laden with weep, tears, sighs, hopes, griefs, sorrow, lamentations, afflictions, racks, furies, torments, deaths, racks, fires, arrows, and flames; and if this will not do, than they have recourse to despairs, revenges, impatiencies, injuries, complaints; and to those names of cruel and barbarous, Scythian, Tiger, Bear, Lion, perfidious, ungrateful, of no affection. With these inventions and artifices they steal away the heart, and blind the spirit of the idolaters of their vanity.  
I will not run through the Divine and Humane Histories, to prove the power that women have had over the ●●…congest, wisest, and discreetest men of the world; only say, that the Scripture, to show the danger of conversing with this sort of women, and to teach us to fly them as a pestilence, though never so seeming-pleasing and agreeable, hath writ down this remarkable sentence, Better is the iniquity of a man, than a woman that doth well, intimating, that it were safer to be in the company of a Robber, than with the most pious woman in the world; tentat enim mulier, for a woman is tempting, whereas you may continue a good space with a thief, without consenting or being accessary to his wicked ways. How many do we see in all Histories that have repent, to have only seen and spoke with women; David regretted the remaining part of his life, the occasion and the time wherein he saw and knew Bathsheba. The Scripture speaking of those Elders that attempted the honour of chaste Susanna, saith, That all their misery sprung from hence, that they saw her often washing herself in a fountain. Videbant eam senes quotidie ingredientem & deambulantem & exarserunt in concupiscentiam ejus.  
The Poet Musaeus speaking of the unfortunate Leander, drowning in the billows and boisterous waves of the Hellespont, in the performance of his Lady Hero's command, makes him complain in this manner,  
For having tasted Beauty's pleasant bait,  
In these rough Seas I find my cruel fate.  
So the prudent Ulysses stopped his ears with wax, that he might not hear the voice of the Achelojan Nymphs, and carried the herb Moly about him, to get out of the company of Circe. And if the company and frequenting of good and virtuous women is an unevitable contagion, what think we of those who are so miserably prodigal of their worth and honour, which should render them the most esteemed, most constant, and most prudent? what shall we think of those miserable women, who by their attracts, enticements, and artifices, destroy and ruin so many souls destined for heaven?  
St. Austin aggravating the sin which they commit, saith, That it is more enormous than the sacrilege of the Jews, who caused the Son of God to be put to death; for they only shed his blood in taking away his life, these damn and destroy those souls which he preferred before his own life, for to redeem and save whom, he did diligently and kindly lay down what ever was dear to him; Empti enimestis pretio magno, You are bought with a great price, saith the Apostle. Now forasmuch as they cannot practise the  artifices, without making and telling a thousand lies, and and as many dissimulations, we may not be coy in the following our Alphabetmethod, to all them.   

M  
Mendacium Monstruosum.  
Monstrous Lies.  
AMong all other things which makes the wisdom of good men to appear; constancy in perplexities, and candour in affairs without hypocrisy, are the most . For as to the first, if it be a wonder in nature, to see the Salamander an Aquatile, to refresh itself sometimes among burning live coals, and that to the conservation also of its life, though the fire be the activest of Elements; It is also a marvellous work of grace, to see a soul make to itself a Paradise of comfort amidst the fire of quarrels and contention, and the flames of a bloody persecution, which it doth the more freely and courageously, for that innocency hath secured its defences, and made it conceive of the world as a thing indifferent.  
For although the tempest of Serpentine tongues, and the snares of that Tygress, Envy, compass it on all sides; so it happens, that in those straits virtue fails not to beget in the heart a million of holy and heavenly thoughts, who flying upwards, return with a pacific calm, which commands the floods to abate, and miseries to end in the sweet spring-time of Angelical repose, making it victorious over all those troubles which would any way disquiet it.  
In the second place, Although worldly wise men glory in their plots, their cunning and dissimulation, rendering double evil for evil, calling revenge, courage; simplicity of heart, foolishness; innocence, brutishness; freedom of mind, levity; forgiveness of mind, cowardliness and impertinence. And when contrarily it is the wisdom of the just always to speak truth, as saith St. Gregory in his Tenth Book of Morals, chap. 27. when he disguiseth nothing, but speaks sincerely, suffers injuries patiently, loves truth freely, flatters no body, nor approves the vice of the insolent, abhors nothing more than to see lying in credit, to be complaisant to those who feed themselves with vanity, the praises, flatteries, and the good opinion of their imaginary excellency; I wonder not that God so strictly forbids lying.  
For there is nothing so particularly bolsters up the wisdom of worldlings, and the vanity of their ambitions, than flattery, which is the daughter of lying, and the abortive of that servile vice, as Plutarch calls it. And although it be ordinary to all men in general, according to that saying of the Royal Prophet. All men are liars; yet this hinders not, but that it is a sin against nature: for a man being framed of a spiritual and corporal part, it was necessary, that the Author of that nature, should give unto her exterior speech, to express outwardly the veritable conceptions of the mind: and it appears, that nothing makes such a difference between man and beasts, than this rare gift of Heaven. For Man hath his understanding alike the Angels, his being with the Stones, his vigour with the Plants, his senses with the Beasts, and nothing doth distinguish them but speech.  
But to proceed farther in this subject, we must observe, that to speak distinctly, six things are necessary in the body; the Tongue, the Palate, the Throat, the Teeth, the Lips, and the Lungs: And six faculties of the Soul; the Imagination to form its conceptions, the Understanding to place them in order, the Will to give motion to them, the Memory to retain what is taken, the Sight to behold him attentively to whom the speech is directed, and the Hearing to judge of its pronunciation, and to receive the reply from others. And although all these things be effectually, or formally different among themselves, yet they all concur together in the instantaneous forming of a word: and the external word ought to be conformable to the inward conception of the spirit, for to no other purpose did the Creator frame it. So that they that lie, sin not only against the Divine Ordinance, but also against Nature herself, and their own Conscience, as we may see in the etymology of the Latin word, Mentiri est contra mentem ire. And although it be a vice common to humane nature corrupted by sin, yet more especially are women prone to it; for being naturally babblers, and subject to many evil speeches, and superfluous discourses, it is very rare if they slip not with their tongue, in either pernicious, officious, or mirthful lying.  
But that which makes them more blame-worthy, are not their exterior lies in the utterance, but the interior, under the vail of fair appearances: as pleasure oftentimes covers itself with the robe of virtue, so naughty women conceal their dispositions under the enamel of piety, for the most part counterfeited. You may see them in the Church sometimes two or three hours together upon their knees, feigning an ecstasy in meditation, turning up the whites of their eyes to the roof of the Temples, without changing their brow; and to give all the signs of a religious and devout soul, only to receive the praises and honour of the world, hatching in the mean time a whole squadron of lascivious desires, an army of wicked designs, and a battalion of folly, and vanity, and impertinencies in affection: They are no sooner out of the Church, but presently to dinner, where they eat and drink to excess, and after dinner fall to dancing, galliarding and fooling, and sometimes engage very far in the combats of Venus; not considering, that all these dances and lascivious deportments, add the fuel and matter to maintain the flames of everlasting fire: For God so much abhors them, that not being able to suffer them in his people, he threatened them by the Prophet Ezekiel in these terms, Pro eo quod plausisti manu & percussisti pede & gavisa es toto affettu super terram Israel idcirco ego extendam manum meam super te & te tradam in direptionem Gentium & interficiam te de populis: As if he should have said, Assure thyself, unthankful Nation, that I will stretch out my hand against thee, and not only deliver thee to the mercy of strange Nations, but I will also reprove thee, and make thee most miserable, because thou hast set thy heart and thy affections in dances, and balls, and the clapping of the hands and feet.  
St. Augustine speaking of this very place, saith, It were better to till and manure the earth on a Sunday, than to allow of dancing. The Scripture speaking of Sara the wife of young Tobias, notes to us, That this young woman finding herself maliciously injured by one of the maidservants of her father in law, confined herself to prayer and supplication, fasting three days and three nights without eating or drinking, to beg of God the reparation of the injury she had received; and amongst other points of her justification she pleaded, that she had never been present at Dances, as the most notable of all; Lord, saith she, speaking to God, I never lusted after any man in the world, but have kept myself spotless and free from any impure pleasure; nor have made one in the dances, and other levitieses of those my sex. Nunquam cum ludentibus ne miscui neque cum iis qui in levitate ambulant. A manifest proof, that this virtuous Dame did well know, that dances were displeasing to Almighty God; not that that corporal exercise is in itself evil, but by reason of the lascivious actions and beastly demeanour of ranting lewd women.  
I shall speak no more of such here, but return to the preciser and hypocritical Courtesans, among whom naughtiness and lying are more cunningly cherished, which vice, foments their turpitudes and deformities, as the Toad among Sage, or the Serpent at the foot of Alexander, and the Asp among the Roses, whose superstition, hypocrisy and pleasure, drive away virtue, and whose deceitful appearances are the original of our misfortunes, concealing from us the cause of all those miseries which befall us, like to the Hyaena, who hides a most fell and cruel heart under the sweet music of humane voice; like to the Panther, which keeps a venomous and traitorous disposition under those acceptable varieties of colour in her sweet smelling skin; like to the Lizard, which counterfeits itself dead, the better to seize upon the innocent and miserable passenger. So that we proceed to call her   

N  
Naufragium Vitae.  
The Shipwreck of Life.  
SOlomon a most renowned Prince for riches and wisdom, saith in his Proverbs, that he who maintains a lewd woman destroys his substanee; where you are to observe, that the word Substance signifies not only the goods of fortune, but also the health, and what ever sustains life. So that this kind of women ruin not only houses and families, but, as we see in the third Letter of the Alphabet, the health and the life of men, that will not departed from them.  
This the Romans signified, in ordering all things necessary to the funerals of the dead to be carried into the Temple of Venus; for nothing sooner brings a man to his grave then venereal pleasures. Wherefore Pythagoras being once invited to the wedding of his friend, replied, That nothing was more regretful to him than to assist at such Obsequies; meaning, that to marry a wife was to commit himself to the Tomb.  
That of Metellus is alike ingenious, this grave person being asked by Marius, wherefore he would hot marry his daughter, being of a beautiful proportion, very eloquent, of a noble race, rich in dower, of great honour, and as much virtue; answered him thus, I would believe your daughter to be absolutely accomplished, but I do rather prefer myself than her; intimating, that a married man owes the greatest part of his life to his wife, not to himself, and is to take more care for her contentment, than for his own affairs. As that ancient Proverb, The rain, the smoke, and an unreasonable woman will often drive a man out of his house.  
Carendella was wont to say, That a woman was a Peacock in the streets, a Parrot in the windows, an Ape in the bed, and a Devil in the house. There goes a notable story of this Gentleman; the Duke of Urbino desiring to reward those services which he had loyally and prudently done him, bid him choose out a wife in his dominions, and he would give her him; but he not accepting the offer gave this answer, May it please your Highness the truth is, that if I should find a woman as honest as my breeches, I could not fairly refuse her; for may be some such there are, but I have never seen any without faults. How now? said the Duke. My Lord, quoth he, I have reason to speak in this manner, for if she be tall, fair, or of handsome stature, she will be lazy, toyish, luxurious, and proud, and imagine the whole world ought to humour and serve her: If she be little and black, the parts of her body being so close joined and shrunk together, one may easily judge her to be very expedite, variable, light, perfidious, and proud: If she be somewhat aged, she will be a true Tisiphone: If she be of competent age, and of red hair, or freckled, she will be very frail and incontinent: If she be ugly and deformed, it's a shame, saith he, but to speak of her: If she be beautiful, she hath that in gross which others have in parcels, like another Pandora, who adorned with thirty excellencies of a woman, was the means of the ruin of the happiness which man could enjoy upon the earth: If such an one, as I said before, could be found, in whom were one spark of virtue, I might espouse her, but finding none such, I have reason to quit myself of them.  
It is impossible to compute the troubles and the sorrows which men receive, in recompense of their loves, through the perfidiousness of women; for without mentioning the troubles of the spirit, the many jants, the reiterated complaints, the shedding of tears, the sighing and sobbing, and a hundred thousand deaths without dying, in the gaining of a Mistress; even then when one would think, that this death of amorous languishment was to be changed into a life of celestial pleasures, then do men marry a wife like Megaera herself, who is never pleased but in crying, yauling, tempestuously complaining and disturbing the whole house, which beget in the mind of her husband a thousand displeasures, a thousand regrets, and as many repentances as incommodities; in short, whole hundreds of an insupportable molestation. As to the conjugal pleasure, and the sport of Venus, the effects thereof are so direful and hurtful, that I wonder men will be such slaves to it; for it doth not only invalidate and enfeeble the vigour of the spirit, but render the mind base and cowardly, dull the vivacity of the understanding, brutalize the judgement, waste the memory, occasion repentance, as saith Aristotle, and as Demosthenes also in this case answered.  
For being tempted by lust to court that Corinthian Strumpet Lais, who set the value of a 1000 Attic Drachms as price of her honour and favour; he hearing her speak at this rate, and considering the enchantment of the pleasure, answered gently thus, by way of retreat, Madam, I thank you, I will not buy repentance at so dear a rate; Ego, inquit, tanti poenitere non emam. This Philosopher spoke reason, for I cannot think, that any man inveigled with the pleasures of Venus, and her deceitful sports, if he consider how dear they are sold him, and what repentance will attend them, would not agree with Demosthenes in this his farewell to the fatal goddesses.  
Valerius Maximus confirms that which we are about to speak, by this notable sentence, Quid luxuriâ foedus quidve ea damnosius, aequa virtus atteritur, ratio languescit, sopita gloria in infamiam commutatur, & animi vires & corporis expugnantur; as if he should say, Nothing is more filthy and base than impure pleasure, more destructive to health, more contrary to the vigour and strength of both body and mind, more altering reason, or that can sooner metamorphose glory and honour into infamy. And if the conjugal actions are exempted from those last effects, in part, they often produce and occasion others, as troublesome and insupportable: for a woman being so insatiable as the wise wise man describeth her, and her husband not able to quench her raging lust, she will soon make him bear the Arms of the Persians, make him heir to the Ottoman Crescents; and inasmuch as she is a necessary evil, the poor unfortunate man is constrained to eat many grains of Patience instead of Succory, and to refresh himself in the water of dissimulation; and that which is more, he must love her that hath offended him, calling her his Darling, his pretty one, and other Epithets of flatteries, to conform himself to her humours and conditions, or else languish and be plunged in an Ocean of sorrow and grief.  
I meddle not with other mischiefs which attend marriage, but refer you to those elegant Verses, made by one who escaped the fetters and bands of a certain Dame, who went about to drown him in the devouring gulfs and shipwrecks of all vice.  
While thus I lived bewitched by your charms,  
While beauty held me prisoner in your arms,  
While my heart groaned under Venus' Laws:  
Vain contentation, and lascivious toys,  
Complaints, and sighs, and tears alone did prove  
Fuel and matter to the fire of love.  
And thus tormented with a hell of spite,  
This was my glory to be vanquished quite.  
But since kind heaven did me notice give,  
Unveiled sins horror wherein I did live,  
And freed me from this thankless woman, by  
A sentence passed on their treachery.  
O wise repentance! I have found above  
Full joy, and glory, and most perfect love.  
The Cynic Diogenes, among other his moral say, had this often in his mouth, Nothing so displeaseth me than to meet a woman, especially in the morning when I am beginning my work; for being a sink and channel of all imperfections, she can presage nothing to my good and contentment.  
Socrates hath another more excellent, for being one day in the plane Licaeum, where they were treating of the imperfections of women, some saying, that they were the causes of all the miseries in the world; others, that it was certain that men without them would never be disquieted or molested. Socrates undertook to defend their cause, and declared freely, that they ought not thus to vilify women, for that there is something in them wherein they excel men. These words (he promising to maintain them by reason) caused the Disputants to give attention, and to desire an account thereof: which he willingly consented to, and replied, My masters, That which prefers women before men, is, among other things, their vivacity of spirit, and the subtlety of their understanding; I speak knowingly, for my wife Xantippe ceaseth not day nor night raising and contriving against me such causes of displeasure, unconceivable to others, with so much activity and artifice, that all the men in the world together cannot invent the like, and less apparent: her alone brawlings, and froward looks, are able to unsettle my constancy, and to overthrow my patience. This famous person invented this device to deride the error of his companions, who spent their time in disputing of the defers of women, which affront the Sun with their light and clearness.  
I shall need no more Philosophical sentences, which expressly forbidden acquaintance with evil women; nor also those Histories, which show the misfortunes and ruins of several, by the means of that sex; there being not so many perils, dangers, and shipwrecks in the Ocean, than there are Charybdis, Gulfs, Rocks, and Falls in the company of women. The holy Ghost speaking of such, saith, that she is a deep ditch, and a narrow well; words very remarkable, for they import the difference that is betwixt whoredom and other vices, in that though they are those ditches wherein so strangely men fall by hundreds and thousands, yet they may happily recover themselves; but those that are taken in the pit of fornication, and the sin of lechery with lewd women, do very hardly get out again: This beastliness is a well so straight, that they who throw themselves therein difficultly find the way out again, unless helped by the cord of special and and particular grace.  
There needs no History to confirm, but tears to deplore the truth hereof. And, to conclude this Letter, a Philosopher meditating on the nature of women, saith, That they are the confusion of man, the enslaving of mankind, the shipwreck of the incontinent, the destruction of the imprudent, the adversary of the innocent; to which I add out of St. Chrysostom upon the 4th. of St. John, That amongst all the savage beasts, there is not a more malicious and cruel than Woman; and therefore she shall further carry this Epithet on her forehead,   

O  
Odii Opifex.  
Contrivers of Malice.  
AMong all the unruly passions of the soul, none more feelingly torments, afflicts, pierceth, and penetrates the heart of him, who will be a slave thereunto, than hatred and revenge; for these two agree not only as mother and daughter, to vex, tyrannize, and mattyrize the hated, but secretly to rack and tear the hater and revengeful himself; and which is observable, such endure a thousand times more pain and torment than the other, being the Patient rather than the Agent, and do often undergo the evil which he intends another. The revengeful sleeps neither day nor night, but suffers the quick pricks of a thousand inquietudes, in the searching of means, occasions, and opportunities to bring about his designs; and it often happens that he fails therein, and thinking to put out the eyes of them he hates, by misadventure wounds himself unwarily, and so coming under the reach of justice, and fearing punishment, he chooseth banishment, making flight the Sanctuary of his life and better fortune.  
But to return to these two passions, I say, That they are not only injustices, in that they afflict more the offender then offended, and more the revengeful, than he that occasioned that hatred; (for while one goes about contriving ways and means to draw reason for the injury received, the other laughs, is merry and jocund) but that the manner of exercising the said passion is very wicked and unjust, as by poisons, witchcrafts, treasons, and other pernicious and deadly artifices, against the life and honour both of his neighbour and himself.  
These two passions are so smarting and stinging, that we may compare them to a worm, which uncessantly gnaws the inwards and heart of an infant, who languisheth and dies with the pain thereof: As the least entertainment of these two Tyger-like imperfections is a base, cowardly, feeble, and wicked mind, fallen below all magnanimity.  
As hail● thunder and lightning, tempests, trouble not nor molest the heavenbodies, that beautiful diversly-coloured ceiling and vault of heaven, enamell'd with the Sun, Moon, and Stars, which are the ornament of this great Universe; but only shake and trouble the things below, and the corruptible parts of the sea and earth; so the insolences, the impertinencies, the disdain of the ignorant and the unwise, of buffoons, of dolts, and the like, do never trouble the constancy, the prudence and discretion of generous minds, high and sublimed in valour and courage.  
I can produce examples of the greatest Saints which have appeared in the world, and who now rejoice in the reward of their heroical faith, and noble actions which they did on the earth; but at present it shall suffice to say, that even among the Heathen, many have raised themselves to glory by not harbouring revenge, but pardoning their enemies, a greater victory than if they were conquerors of all the Kingdoms and Nations of the world, and had taken by force all the Citadels and Fortresses thereof.  
The holy Ghost learns us this in the 16th. Chapter of the Proverbs, Fortior est qui dominatur animae suae, expugnatore urbium; he saith, He is more valiant who conquers his anger, and bridles his passions, and represses his hate, than he that storms and subdues Cities.  
Latius regnes avidum domando  
Spiritum, quam si Lybiam remotis  
Gadibus jmgas & uterque Paenus  
Serviat uni.  
The Prince of Philosophes irradiated only with the light of nature, saw this very clearly, affirming, That the courage, valour, and worth of a generous mind consists in mastering and commanding our anger, hatred, and revenge. Moderari iram est vera generositas, which is verified by the testimony both of ancient and modern Examples.  
In Plutarch you shall find Alexander, the Caesar's, Scipio's, and Epaminidas, who made it their glory to pardon and forgive. Julius Cesar that great Monarch, having vanquished Pompey in the Pharsalian fields, and understanding that Cato, one of his partakers, had killed himself through fear of falling into his hands, said thus to his Captains, Invidit Cato gloriae meae quam illi parcendo, mihi paravissem; Cato hath done me more displeasure by killing himself, than by siding against me, for I should have had more honour in saving than in destroying him.  
Alexander the great duly weighing Pardon and Vengeance, confessed, that there was more need of strength and greatness of mind to be clement and indulgent, than to be revengeful.  
Demosthenes that brave Orator, to show his courage, replied to one that braved and defied him to fight; My friend, saith he, I will use the rigour of that combat against you, where the vanquished is a better man than the vanquisher; intimating, that it is more glory, honour, and valour, to conquer one's self, and his passions, than to trample upon his enemies.  
Neither were the Pagans only of this opinion, for see a reason as cogent for Christians to be , which no body dares contradict, or will doubt of, that the Law of Grace doth conduct us in the true path of justice, and directs us in the right way of virtue. Now the Philosophers have avowed, that Magnanimity is a virtue, and Cowardice vice; so that forgiveness coming under the chief Commandment in the Gospel, is a manifest proof of the greatness of mind, and contrarily that hate and revenge are the issues of a cowardly, base, and abject mind.  
And we experimentally see, that the most infirm, feeble, and weak creatures, do more easily suffer themselves to be transported by these unruly inordinate passions, as infants, sick people, and women, as we have seen in deciphering of anger. And, to come to my subject, the hate of a woman riseth to such a degree, that it equals that of the devil: the least offence, stumbling but at a stone, will cool her affections, will kindle her anger, awaken her contempts, inflame her hatred, increase her rage, and bring up all the corrosions of a cruel revenge.  
But, what is most lamentable, if the original of her hate be from some distaste of love, it will be so raging, hot, and violent, that the Sea cannot quench it; this passion will so blind her, and make her so froward, that no man can lenify or appease her, no, not the most accomplished person living, having once offended her, although he had the gravity of Cato, the persuasion of Demosthenes, the elegancy and sweetness of Cicero, the gentleness of Crassus, the fervency of Pericles, the emphatical periods of Isocrates, the fidelity of Cleander, the constancy of Anacharsis, the beauty of Narcissus, the beautiful face of Pallanta, the pace and gate, the gallant behaviour of Roland, the valour of Achilles, the prudence of Ulysses, and the feature of Aeneas: although he was versed in the affairs of State as perfectly as Numa at Rome, Charinondas at Carthage, Lycurgus in Sparta, Solon in Athens, Epaminondas in Thebes, Minos in Crete, Rhodomanthus in Syria, Zamolris in Scythia, Oromasus in Persia, Zoroaster in Babylon, and Osiris in Egypt: In sum, were he learned, valiant, courageous, and excellent in all things.  
Peter Ravenna speaking of the self-conceitedness of women in his Sermon of the Resurrection, saith, That as there is nothing so bold and courageous as a woman in the pursuit of her love, so is there nothing more obstinate and inflexible in the remission of injuries, nor more ready to manifest her hate by unavoidable revenges, for if other humane artifices fail her, she will rather prostrate her love, her chastity, and all her honour, than to rest vanquished under the heavy load of her anger and indignation. Of this there needs no other Proof than that lewd Pero daughter of Neleus, who extremely hating of Hercules, proffered her body to Bias and Melampodius, provided they would rob and steal from him his flocks.  
I have read of another, who to revenge a box of the ear given her in dancing, gave herself up a prey to a pitiful wretch to take his pleasure of her as long as he would, for having returned the like, and espoused her quarrel; which favour no other occasion or cause soever could have procured him. But setting aside Histories, I remember to have seen an Epigram, which making an allusion of women to sundry creatures, hath these words; As the Ox is born to labour, the Vulture to prey, the Hare to the chase, the Ass to the burden, the Horse to the war, the Ape to make sport, the fat Hen for the Kitchen, and Man to virtue; so the Woman seems to be born to work mischief, and to torment men.  
I am silent in what might be said further; take this for all, The hatred of the Devil is not so much to be feared as that of a wicked woman; when the devil doth mischief, he doth it by himself alone, but woman is aided with that evil spirit, and seconded by him, to the wreaking of her bloody revenge, while she, wretched creature, considers not, that the wrath of God brandishes over her head, and that for ever she must abide in his disfavour without any means of recovery, according to that of the Apostle, who to this purpose uttered that fearful sentence to those that fin wilfully, There remains no sacrifice for their sins. Now of those that sin actually, the Usurers, Fornicators, and the Revengeful, are the three chief that oppose the goodness of God, and resist his grace, nor hath he for them pardon or mercy, but they must expect from him, if they amend not, a very severe chastisement.  
But it is true, that of these three sorts, the last extremely displeaseth the Divine Majesty, for that revenge and hatred of our neighbour doth hinder, that they be not children beloved; for this is that great quality and title which forgiving and debonair persons wear on them, That ye may be like your Father which in heaven. This is the testimony for the first, and behold another for the second, Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall be called the children of God.  
There is therefore this difference in these terms, The debonair or peacemakers carry only the title and name of the children of God, but the great forgivers are so in effect: From whence it follows, that vindicative people are of the devil's family, and children of his cruelty; for if God be Charity itself, Satan being infinitely contrary unto goodness, must be hatred and deadly animosity: And as the Devil shall never find grace nor pardon, which confirms him in his malice and hatred of God; Superbia eorum qui te oderunt ascendit semper: So the vindicative, 
Psal. 37.  true partakers of his misery shall never have the favour or pardon of God, while they continue inveterate in their cursed and depraved anger against those, who have really or pretendedly offended them.  
See then, I pray, in what condition are those women which never will forgive, or so seldom, that there is no certain proof thereof; as is especially observable in those who have power to execute their revenge for displeasures received; which wise men will understand how to avoid. If we should search Histories, we should bless ourselves from their attempts in this manner; for as nothing is impossible to a woman that loves, so nothing is difficult to her that hates in an intense degree; and therefore in some manner we may call her   

P  
Peccati Auctrix.  
Increaser of Sin.  

Aug. Serm. 18. de Sanctif.  SO St. Austin calls the first Woman, in his second Sermon upon the Lord's Prayer, and upon a just occasion; for if we observe we shall find, that the woman is not only the source and spring of sin and of death; 
Ecclus. 25.  à muliere initium factum est peccati, & per illam omnes morimur; but also the forger of all the misery, and the increaser of all the faults and errors of men.  
It is a good remark of St. Chrysostom's, in his explication of the second of Ginesis, It is not good for man to be alone, let us make him a help meet; For, saith he, God having made the woman to be the faithful companion of man, and to assist him in the production of his like, she became the quite contrary, the enemy of his happiness and his good fortune; Cujus facta est adjutrix ei facta est insidiatrix. And in effect, we see in the place of those words, a help like unto him, adjutorium simile sibi; according to the common version (the Hebrew Text hath a strange kind of Figure) which is as much as to say, against him, adjutorium contra ipsum; that whereas a woman ought to procure the good of her husband, she procures him hurt, loss, and damnation, as we see in the History of the Creation: For the devil seeing nothing in the world more cunning, more attractive, and more fit and proper to charm the eyes and heart of man, than woman, he gained her first, the more easily by her to entrap him, whom in his own person he durst not attaque, which he with such fineness accomplished. If the first Citizen of the world rendered himself to her discretion, as not daring to displease her, from whence came the heap of all our miseries?  
For this reason the learned Origen hath painted her out in this manner; Woman is the head of sin, the weapons of the devil, the banishment out of Paradise, the corruption of the first and ancient Law which God gave to men. To which purpose Josephus saith in his Jewish Antiquities, That the unfortunate Samson seeing himself at the mercy of his enemies the Philistines, by the treachery of his Concubine, said in a kind of astonishment, I know now to my danger, that nothing in the world is more deceitful and cunning than a woman. euripides also saith, That women are the most exact workers and artisans of all wickednesses inventable; which we see also in the History of the Prophet Elisah, who not dreading the cruelty and tyranny of Ahab in the midst of his Kingdom, bravely asserted his cause, by bringing to death four hundred of his false Prophets; but seeing himself pursued by his Queen Jezabel, and knowing that those attempts on his lise were the effects of the spleen and malice of that woman; he presently abandoned the Cities, withdrew himself into the deserts, and hid himself under Rocks, and was so apprehensive of his danger, that he desired nothing more than death, and prayed God importunately to take him out of the world; Obsecro, Domine, tolle animam meam: A sufficient proof, that nothing is more terrible or more malicious than a woman.  
St. John in his 9th. of the Revelations speaks of his having seen Locusts, whose bodies were like to Horses of war, their tails like to those of Scorpions, their teeth like to the Lions, their mains like women's hair, and that power was given them to hurt men. Behold a strange vision, but this the most remarkable, the holy Ghost to exaggerate the malice of these beasts, choosing out that which signified the greatest cruelty, as the fury of Warhorses, the poison of venomous Scorpions, the teeth and defences of enraged Lions, as the accumulation and sum of all inhumanity, adds to it the hairs of a Woman, importing, that nothing is more dangerous or more malicious.  
St. Gregory Nazianzen saith, that she hath the venom of an Asp, and the malice of a Dragon; Malefica res est aspides, mala res est Dracores, duplex malitia mulieris inter feras. And the wiseman saith in the 25th. of Ecclesiasticus, That all the malice in the world is short in compa ison to that of the Woman. Brevis malitia super malitiam mulieris. But that which is worst, she hath a relentless and merciless heart; of this there needs no other proof, than that in the first Chapter of the Prophet Hosea, where it is said, that God, to give his people to understand the severity of his justice in the punishments of their faults, commanded the Prophet to marry himself presently, and to name his first daughter Merciless, as a certain Augury, that he would show no more kindness to the house of Israel; Vocabis nomen ejus sine misericordia, quia non addultria misereri domus Israel. By which we see God judged equitably, when for an emblem of cruelty, and an hieroglyphic of malice, he used no other but woman. But yet see a more strange passage, the Prophet Zachary relating his visions, saith, That he saw among other things a monstrous woman sitting in the middle of a funnel, with a weight of lead in her hand; and as he was troubled to know what this prodigy meant, an Angel serving him for an interpreter, presently informed him, That it was the image of impiety,— & dixit, Hae est impietas; wherein we see, that Heaven, to paint out malice and wickedness, would not represent them under any other symbol or resemblance, than in the person of a woman; the funnel serving her for a seat, signifies, that woman cannot keep secrets, no more than that, which hath two vents; and therefore I suppose for this reason the Prophet saw in the mouth a lump of lead, to shut up her lips, and stop her babbling.  
To conclude these Emblems of holy Writ, St. John in the 7th. of his Revelations saw a woman mounted on a beast, armed with seven heads and ten horns, having names and titles full of blasphemies, being not only all over most gorgeously attired, being clothed with Purple, and set with Jewels, but moreover infinitely cruel, and drunk with the blood of the Martyrs of Jesus Christ: We have in part interpreted this Vision in the Epistle Dedicatory but I must again speak of it here, being the true portrait of the malice of woman; for in figuring her mounted upon a beast with seven heads, it seem to intimate, that she will speak more than seven, there being as many tongues as heads; the Horns fignifie her thousand tricks and artifices; her names and titles full of blasphemy, her propensity to evil; her purple and jewels, her arrogance and pride, and the innocent blood wherewith she is drunk, is the emblem of the cruelty and malice of her mind, which hath made her rejected of God, and deprived her of his graces.  
St. Cyril in his Third and Fourth Book of the Spirit and the Letter, discoursing of God's allotment of the Land of Promise to the children of Israel, would not have the women put into the List; and also upon the account of that Passage, where Pharaoh commanded the Midwives of Egypt to preserve the daughters, and destroy the male-issue, assumes, that God and the devil shown themselves contrarily in this; for the devil would have the males put to death, which were the better sort, reserving the females; and God rejected the females, not willing that they should be enroled amongst the men to share the promised Land, as being imperfect and unworthy of that honour: See his own words,— rejicitur quod, est reprobare molle & imperfectum, & solis maribus dividitur terra promissa. And Origen in his second Homily upon Exodus, deriding Pharaoh saith, He was ill advised to put the better sort to death, (that is, the males) and preserve the worst, the females, who were sooner able to destroy his Kingdom than the men.  
Pythagoras' being asked, Why he gave his daughter in marriage to one of his greatest enemies, presently answered, Nihil illi poteram dare deterius— I could not give him a worse thing, or better revenge myself of him, woman being the most wicked thing in the world. The Scripture declares this in the 25th. of Ecclesiasticus,— omnis plaga tristitia cordis est & omnis malitia nequitia mulieris; as much as to say, That as the sickness of the heart, which is the principal of life, surpasseth the grief of all other corporal hurts, so the malice of a woman, which is the principal of all evil, is beyond all the wickednesses of the world. I desire the virtuous to excuse me, and do humbly beg their pardon; I apply this only to the bad, whom again I call   

Q  
Quietis Quassatio.  
Enemy of Quiet.  
HE that would set before you all the characters and descriptions which the Ancients have made of women, both time and age would fail him sooner than matter; and so although we have said many things in the preceding Letter, yet is it nothing in regard of that which may be said.  
For it seems, that heaven hath so much the more inspired grace, and serious Authors to write against them, by how much their wickedness hath increased by aiding that spirit of darkness in the ruin of those souls destined to salvation and eternal glory. St. Chrysostom writing upon the 19th. chapter of St. Matthew, saith among other things, (to abridge that which he said in this Homily) Mulier est janua diaboli, via iniquitatis, Scerpionis percussio, nocivumque genus est foemina: Woman is the gate of hell, the way of iniquity, the biting of a Scorpion, and a hurtful kind of creature in all things.  
Valerius writing to Ruffinus, knew not better to describe a woman, than by the Chimaera who had the face of a Lion, the belly of a Goat, and the tail of a Viper; For she hath, saith he, the fury and rage of a Lion, the lechery of a Goat, and the poison of a Viper. The Philosopher Simonides, as Joseph Battus reports, being asked what woman was, gave her this definition, Mulier est hominis confusio, instabilis bestia, continua sollicitudo, indesinens pugna, quotidianum damnum, solitudinis impedimentum, vitae continenti naufragium, adulterii vas, perniciosum pretium, animal pessimum, pondus gravissimum, aspis insanabilis, & humanum mancipum. Woman is the confusion of man, an inconstant beast, a continual care, a combat without truce, a daily trouble, an impediment of privacy, the shipwreck of a chaste life, a freight of adultery, etc. And for these reasons the Ancients used this Proverb, Women is the vessel of the devil, a stinking Rose, a sweet poison; for she is a vessel full of gall, which men imagine to be delightful and pleasant St. Bernard in his 52d. Sermon, dares to call them the Instrument of the devil. Read the Third Homily of Carthagena, the Fourth Tome, and other the like descriptions; and what St. Jerom holds, that a good woman is rarer than a Phoenix; concluding, that their number is so great, that no body there is, who is ignorant of their malice.  
The Sieur de Fieuville Philosophying of the nature of bad women, compares them first to the Chamaeleon, which feeding itself with wind, loves no man longer than the present; to the Salamander, who unagreeable to temperature, designs no happier end than to expire in the flames; to the Locust, whose pleasure it is to skip about and through the fading flowers of the world's inveaglement; to the Siren, which through its flattering charms feeds those devouring gulfs of Sicily; to a continual Fire, which never goes out; to the ravenous putrid Harpies, which seemed born in the world on purpose to torment man, to shorten his life, to nullify his contentments, debase his grandeur, vilify his perfections, to abate his valour, enfeeble his courage, unfortunate his designs, redouble his pains, captivate his liberty, impede his enterprises, sink his fortune, vex his quiet, and load upon his spirit a thousand molestations, which shall day and night without intermission turmoil him. A hell of noise, houling, shrieks, and of so many torments, that men are forced to give way by flying from them; a manifest proof of their wickedness, lightness, and inconstancy.  
And if we have recourse to Scripture, we shall find, that taciturnity and silence is the distinction between the good and evil women, and that it is the special gift and grace of God, Donum Dei mulier sensata & tacita; and joins to that the 9th of the Proverbs, Mulier stulta & clamosa, woman is foolish and full of noise; and moreover, that she is both ignorant and full of craft.  
It is very true, that effemina e persons, wooers, buffoons, and the gallants, affect not silence in women, although it be a perfection worthy of a thousand praises, but do desirously hear the prattle, the talk, and the iliads of superfluous discourse, being thence able to judge, whether they be Ladies of pleasure.  
But wise and virtuous men, discerning the gift of God in bestowing of a wife, and that silence is the most certain mark of virtue, cannot prise too much such a happy match, nor be too thankful to God. For my part, as nothing is more amiable in the world than peace and Quiet, so nothing is more detestable than the fray and noise of women's tongues.  
This made Cicero so handsomely retort it to those who upbraided him with forsaking his wife, I cannot, saith he, serve my wife and Philosophy, for either of them take up the whole man; and it is as much trouble to attain to the perfection of the latter, as to study the contentment of the former.  
But that which renders a Philosopher incompatible with a woman, is, because nothing is more proper to the advance of his study then silence and quiet, which a woman cannot possibly indulge him, for she is always in action, crying, wauling, or roaring, either against her domestics, or her neighbours, or strangers, who come to visit the master of the household; finding a thousand inventions to force words from those who refuse to speak conformable to their will. The proof of this lies in the Bakehouse, the market, the beating of the Buck, where they meet in great numbers, those places being the only rendezvous of that cackle and noise of women.  
If you shall think this to be a small imperfection, you are deceived a hundred Leagues, for this is the very condition of the damned, who without ceasing do howl, cry, and blaspheme against the Divine Majesty, as also against those who have been the occasion of their ruin; this we more visibly fee in those Spectra, and other damned spirits, which come into certain houses, and in some particular places make so much noise, and cause so much disturbance, even to the most resolute, that they are glad to be gone. So we proceed to term her in the next Letter (according to experience) as she hath been to Houses and Families   

R  
Regnorum Ruina.  
Ruin of Realms.  
IT were an impossible attempt, if I should think to write the several misfortunes and miseries of men deceived by women unacquainted in the School of wisdom and virtue; wherefore I shall omit those tears, plaints, regrets, sorrows, griefs, torments, trouble's, rage, languors, fury, death, and punishments of millions of men, affronted and injured by the malicious industry of women, whom they adored and honoured as the Sovereign Lady's of their affections.  
I shall omit that degenerous Labour of Hercules in his service of Omphale, where he submitted his invincible spirit and conquering hands to the sweeping of her Chambers and Halls; and afterwards his dying enraged and mad by the poison and jealousy of Dejanira: And also Apollo, who kept sheep to please the daughter of Admetus; together with Hippolytus, who was torn in pieces by the means of his incestuous mother in Law; Absyrthes, who was also dismembered by his cruel sister Medea: Roland, that French Hercules, who languished to death through the inconstancy of the lewd daughter of Galafrina, and died, sacrificing himself to her: King Ipsis, who died for Anaxarete; Hemon for Antigone, Ovid for Corynna, with many others: Who had no other satisfaction for this excess and profuseness of life, than to see in the other world these execrable women punished according to their demerits, becoming the pastime of the Furies in their infernal Vaults. To omit the stories (with other profane writings) of Adam, Samson, David, Solomon, and the most accomplished of the Ancients, the most generous and brave courages that have been ruined by the female sex, I resume my subject, and will prove, that whole Kingdoms, Provinces, and Commonwealths, have fallen by misfortunes, occasioned by some particular women.  
Helena, once the Paragon of all humane beauty, fomented so bloody a war by the excellent features of her face, between the Greeks and the Trojans, that the last lost both their life and honour therein: She afterwards remembering herself of this fatal business, repent it sincerely; for being advanced in age, (as is reported by James Bergonne in his Supplement of the Chronicles) and desirous to see her face, she called for a Looking-glass, and beholding her face so withered, and all the beauties thereof so tarnished, she fell a laughing, and in that mood blamed the folly of those, who for her sake had endured so many troubles: Alas, quoth she, is it possible that such acountenance should cause the ruin of so many brave Cities, and the slaughter of so many thousand gallant men, and noble warriors? These were the dying words of that most excellent Beauty.  
King Joram (after the death of his father Jehosaphat) succeeding in the Kingdom, his brothers being killed, and himself fallen into Idolatry, and the ruin both of him and his Kingdom thereupon ensuing; the Scripture gives this account thereof, and imputes it wholly to his unhappy wife; Filia quip Achab uxor ejus; & fecit malum in conspectu Domini: He had Athaliah the daughter of Ahab and Jezabel to his wife, importing, that it was no marvel this Prince was so wicked and guilty of so great crimes, having so wicked a wife for his companion. And in the Third of the Kings, the same Scripture searching the cause of the miseries and abominations of Ahab, saith after this manner, Jezable his wife, etc. Concitavit enim eum Jezabel uxor sua, & abhominabilis factus est, in tantum ut sequeretur idola quae fecerunt Amorhaei.  
Philo Judaeus notes in the first Book of the life of Moses, that Balak King in Asia, whose power extended itself throughout the greatest part of the East, never durst enterprise upon the Israelites till he had consulted his Divines, and particularly had sent for Balaam that false Prophet, who, though constrained by the Spirit of God to speak truth, nevertheless not to lose the savour of that Prince, he advised him, that the only way to effect his designs, and ruin that people, was, by sending his women among them, whom he should adorn and dress as lasciviously as could be: Which purpose the said women effectually brought about by their allurements, so that the greatest part of the youth subjected themselves to Idolatry, before they were or might be permitted to fulfil their lusts on them; which so animated Phineas with the zeal of God's glory, and the love of Continence, and some other with him, that falling upon these abominable persons, they killed of them to the number of four and twenty thousand, and so saving the Host from being contaminated with those filthinesses, they gained the victory over that King, who by the counsel of the foresaid Prophet had so in the gross corrupted the people.  
I shall only add the example of Cleopatra, who, as Plutarch saith, was that rock on which Mark Anthony, that valiant and great Captain, dashed and broke himself in pieces by his impure pleasures: But she not only ruined him, but was the cause of a thousand troubles to the State of Rome. Marcus Aurelius, that wise Prince, saith, That the fire of Aetna was not so hurtful to Sicily, as this wicked woman to every. Canton of that Empire. To conclude, As virtuous women are given us from Heaven, to alleviate the miseries of our nature, so are the bad born expressly to vex men, and to oppose and ruin all their desines and good fortune.  
Now although so many thousand imperfections combine in them, yet more particularly Pride reigneth and rageth in them, which, in explication of this next Epithet in in our Alphabetical order, shall be seen.   

S  
Silua Superbiae.  
Forrest of Pride.  
PRide is a vice so detestable and pernicious, that it hath made of an Angel a Devil, Lucifer; of a Man a Beast, Nabuchadnezzar; of Adam, the subject and object of all those miseries which encompass and thwart us. If you would fee the description, the Divines hold, That it is properly a disorderly appetite of its own excellence, or of its self, which causeth contempt of God, and of those whom he hath made superior in Grace, Honour, and other prerogatives. All the learned hold it for the chief of the other vices, and say, That it is she which combats and assaults all the other virtues.  
St. Austin said, That she is the Comrade of all sins, the guide and director in all their deformities; the reason is, because she is often generated by a love of justice and of virtue, and proceeds in the way of good works; whereas other vices are cherished by bad actions, and are known by their works.  
This abominable vice is as a pestilential wind, which blowing under the tree of virtue, withers the beauty of a soul, as a Poet hath expressed it,  
Pride is the root and head of every vice.  
The source and fountain of what ills befall us.  
Who hath this monster tamed, may freely say,  
That he hath shaken the mighty Tower of sin.  
By pride the devil full of cunning spite,  
From Paradise our first Parents banished,  
Subjected m to labour, griefs and pain;  
The gulf and precipice of misery.  
If then thou'dst breaks through sins Battalia,  
Rout those Philistines; set thy courage to't,  
Cut off thy vaunting proud Goliah's head:  
For the whole Army seeing him to bleed,  
And his head reared the Trophy of the field  
Will quail, and their subdued powers yield.  
As we see in war, that no sooner as the General is fallen in Battle, but the adverse soldiers rush forward without looking behind them; so he that can triumph over pride, and can drive it from its Empire, shall speedily dissipate all other vices; for humility, its contrary, being the treasury of all other virtues, and being strongly fortified within the soul; pride, though it were accompanied with the strength of all other sins, shall never enter or prevail against it.  
But if you desire to know the ordinary retreat of this unhappy vice, I shall without fear of a feathered brain tell you, that is the wicked noddle of a woman, the idolater of her own irregular passions; for never was Lucifer so proud in heaven, as suck women are on earth. You may see the proof of this in the first woman, whom a feigned promise of the evil spirit so wrought upon, that she desired to be equal with God, as the Schoolmen and St. Austin; an act certainly of the greatest preemption in the world. And if she who received the first favours of heaven, and so many proofs of the love of God, forgot herself so much, what shall we think of others of her sex, which are not so perfect? For my part I believe, that if there are any humble of the sex, they are like the Sun among the Stars, or the Phoenix among other Birds; and so it is no great marvel, that the humility of the blessed Virgin invited the Son of the God of Heaven to descend into the earth, and that her merit accelerated the great mystery of the Incarnation by sutableness and congruity, as the Doctors hold; for her humility was so acceptable to the Divine Majesty, that knowing it to be an extraordinary wonder in that sex, he forgot the pride of the first woman, and without further delay sent the Word of the Father to be made Man. Now except her, I know not any woman who may presume to boast of so much humility, as to be reputed clear of affectation and vainglory.  
Humility is so valuable in a woman, that showing itself upon occasions, no man can tax her with any imperfections, so as to obscure that goodness which is believed to be in her; her humility makes her to be such as men could know to desire. The Prophet Nathan, in setting forth the quality of a good woman, found nothing better to his purpose than the comparison of a sheep, the gentlest and meekest of all the creatures, as we may see in his Parable to King David in the matter of adultery which he had committed with Bathsheba: There was (saith he) a poor man who had nothing in the world but one poor sheep, etc. mark how he calls the wife of Uriah a sheep, for so ought every good wife to be, pleasant, humble, silent, and obedient to her husband, as a sheep to its shepherd: and the husband ought to treat, keep, nourish, and maintain her as his sheep, and love her as his darling. Whereunto I add with the Wiseman, that such a woman is favour from heaven bestowed on man; Gratia super gratiam mulier sancta & pudorata. And again, Mulieris bonae beatus vir. But of this before.  
That which is further observable in the same place, is, That God oftentimes recompenses the good works of a man by the offer of a virtuous wife; Pars bona mulier bona in parte timentium Deum dabitur viro profactis bonis.  
Solomon saith further in his Proverbs, that parents give unto children means and riches, but it is God that giveth unto them prudent and discreet women: Domus & divitiae dantura parentibus, a Domino autem proprie uxor prudens; the Hebrew Text is more emphatical, having these words, Domus & divitiae haereditas patrum, signifying, that good and bad children succeed alike to the goods and estates gained by their parent's care and industry; but that women being not the goods of fortune, God bestows the good one only to such as fear him, and observe his commandments. The same is likewise set down by the Royal Prophet, for having premised, Blessed are they which fear the Lord, and walk in his trays, he adds presently the reward to follow, his wife shall be as a fruitful vine (that is reclused or shut up in the most secret place of the house, or) on the sides of his house, signified by these words, à lateribus domus tuae. To which purpose St. Paul speaking of the aloneness of Virgins, saith, that they ought to be guardians of their houses, for in stead of what our version hath, having care of their house, the Hebrew reads it by a Hieroglyphic of a wise and virtuous daughter, having a beast called the Once at her feet, teaching us, that as the male of that creature is more feeble than its female, which surpasseth him in courage and valour; so ought a wise daughter to appear more vigorous than a man, in resisting those flattering courtesies, and deceitful wantonnesses, the impertinent and slippery feats of heady youngsters, who make much of them to no other purpose than to destroy and ruin their honour and reputation: And as that creature delights not in any place but in thick groves, and inhabitable deserts, and departs not out of them but to seek provision; so ought a wife and virtuous daughter to be a lover of solitude, and not not to departed out of her house, but only to the Church, and employ herself wholly in the service of God, and careful honest exercises.  
But if you think that solitude is required only of Virgins, behold two other Hieroglyphics, which make it appear, that it is well becoming women of discretion; Eustac. lib. 2. de Ismeniis, saith, that the Ancients represented chastity two manner of ways, the first was, by pourtraying a women crowned with a garland, woven with all sorts of flowers that nature produced, the Rose excepted; she wore a net for her garment, which covered her face, her breast, and her feet, signifying the pudicity of woman, to preserve which, all the graces, perfections, and flowers of the world are requisite; except that which smells of Venus and impudicity, signified by the Rose, which is dedicated to that goddess, whose love is unchaste.  
The second portrait represented a Lady, crowned with all sorts of precious Stones and Jewels, Rubies, Diamonds, Emeralds, and other inestimable riches, with a Carbuncle in the middle of her forehead, which glisteren like the Sun, being covered with a thick robe, all her care being to hid her feet; signifying by this Emblem, that the riches wherewith a woman ought to adorn herself, should not consist in , but in spirit and virtue; and although she be poor in raiment, it sufficeth if she be rich in head.  
This is to show, that not to go often abroad, but to stay at home, is a great sign of the loyalty of marriage, and an assured token of an excellent woman, and obedient to her husband. But on the other side, if you desire to see the marks of a proud and wicked woman, take notice of these; She will be disdainful in her looks, lofty in her speech, supercilious in silence, dissolute in riots, furious in sorrow, grave in her pace, honest in appearance, prone to offer in juries, impatient to endure them, desirous to command, slow to obey, ready to do ill, backward to do good, unmoveable to pardon, easy enough to vengeance, delicate in her diet, and ambitious to play the Lady in all things, of which, see two examples for proof.  
Pliny the great Naturalist reports, that Cleopatra Queen of Egypt, the most proud and lascivious that ever was, observing Mark Anthony to exceed all men in the sumptuousness of his feasts and banquets, entertaining his guests with the most choice and exquisite Viands that could be had; out of ambition or emulation uttered some words in disparagement of his treatments, giving out, That they were nothing near the cost and value of those which she would provide and prepare: Of which he being advertised, having taken Lucius Plancus for judge in the difference, demanded of her what she could do more magnificently than he? This proud Princess without any other reply, having two Pendants in her ears set with two inestimable Pearls, which were doubtless the chief works of Nature, took the one of them, and having dissolved it in Vinegar, she drunk and swallowed it down in the presence of Mark Authony: Which Lucius seeing, and regretting so great a waste, clap this hand upon the other, and prevented the swallowing down of that; and the better to please and pacify her, gave sentence of victory on her side, although Mark Anthony was much troubled thereat. But Lucius forbore not to take the Pearl, and dividing it into two, he made thereof two Ear-pendants for the Statue of Venus, which was in the Temple of Pantheon at Rome.  
The second History is of a wife of the Duke of Venice, named Dominica Sylvia, whom he had taken in Constantinople. Anthon. Sabellicus in his First Decad. Lib. 4 Tom. and the Mirror of Examples, Distinct. 1. Sect. 84. reports, that this woman, puffed up with pride and arrogance, was so delicate in her meat and drink, so curious of her body, and so nice to be served, that she had not only the perfumes of Musk, Civet, Ambergris, and other sweet Odours in every corner and nook of her chamber, even to trouble the head of those that entered in; she was so delicate, I say, that she would not only be served with common and ordinary water to wash herself, but command her servants to take off every morning the dew of heaven from the most odoriferous plants and herbs for her use; and moreover she would not touch with her fingers the meat served on her table, but taking it with golden forks, she would in that manner put it into her mouth; though at last her prodigious delicacy cost her dear: For heaven not able longer to endure the insolent pride of this Siren, not only inflicted Fthisis or a Consumption on her in her whole body, that no one of her domestic servants or grooms could endure to be near her, they flying from her bed as frantic and mad; but, as much as she had despised all things common to the sustenance of life, so nothing now, what manner of washing soever that could be invented, could remedy this stinking disease. Whereby we see, that the delicacy of these fine and nice Dames, those dainty mouthed creatures, are no whit pleasing to the Divine Majesty, and that at the end of their carrier, he knows how severely to chastise them, according to the example of wicked Dives, whose sentence of damnation was only grounded on his delicacy in habits, in wearing fine linen and purple, his luxury in feasting, and his inhumanity towards the poor.  
In sum, the haughtiness of some women mounts to so high a degree, being once advanced in office and authority, that it is a Martyrdom to obey them, and extreme cruelty in them to command to the utmost extent of their passions and wills: Wherefore behaving themselves in this manner, it will be nowrong done to call them further   

T  
Truculenta Tyrannis.  
Terrible Tyranny.  
CIcero, the wonder of the Romans, saith, That virtue hath such a lustre, so much beauty, and perfection, and excellence, that if she could be seen, she would ravish the eyes and hearts of all men, and that there would not one be found who would not follow her, and become servant to her amiable looks: From whence it easily follows, that nothing is more ugly and deformed, and horrible to see (if it were visible) than its contrary, Vice and that as Virtue for its excellent beauty ought to be esteemed and praised in every place where she is to be found, so are we to disparage vice, her sworn enemy, where ever we meet with her, without consideration of the persons that adore her, whether they be small or great, poor or rich, Peasant or Noble, Lord or Vassal, Disciple or Master, Man or Women; for herein we shall imitate the examples of many holy and religious persons.  
To my purpose. No man ought to account me rash, if I have been so bold as to attaque the vice of women, offering themselves to my mine eyes as the most obnoxious to the Law of God, and destructive to the salvation of souls, that I meet with in the humane species of this age. It is true, that men for the most part are come to the utmost period of their wickedness, but they are therefore beholding to women, who foment, maintain, and cherish them in those abominable courses. St. Chrysostom expounding that passage of the 19 Chapter of St. Matthew, Hom. 32. Non expedit nubere, etc. If you would know, saith he, what a woman is, I answer you, that she is the sworn enemy of friendship, an inevitable pain, a natural temptation, a desirable calamity, and domestic danger.  
Tertullian gives her not so many Epithets, but they are not therefore the less important; Thou art, O woman, (saith he) the gate of the devil, thou art he who show'dst that unhappy Tree, the deserter of the Divine Law, etc.  
Origen saith no less in that Sermon which he made of the Chananaean woman, The woman is the head of sin, the weapons of the devil, the cause of our expulsion out of Paradise, the mother of delinquency, ●nd corruption of the Law: and adds, that the devil left her to Job to afflict him the more, and to provoke him to curse God in those terms; Maledic Deo, & morere, I could cite St. Cyprian in his Book of the singularity of women; and the Sermon St. Epiphanius made against them: but I think it satisfaction enough to name but their authorities against them, especially being to the same purpose with the former.  
But that which is more particularly blamable in a wicked woman, is, their tyranny and cruelty, which they practise towards those whom they keep under the key of their obedience, having an absolute power and full mastery over them to whom they are particularly obliged.  
Plutarch hath a story handsomely to this purpose; Ninus the Monarch of the Assyrians was so taken with the beauty of a Maiden-slave, named Semiramis, and was so furiously enamoured on her, that he married her, and chose her before all the Ladies of his Kingdom; but in stead of cherishing, valuing, or esteeming the goodness and favour of the King, she no sooner became Mistress of his heart and affections, but having obtained by her female devices his authority, to command throughout his Empire, and manage for one whole day the affairs of State: She no sooner was vested therewith, with, but she instantly deprived him not only of his Royal Greatness, but also of his Life, with others of his familiar friends, to the intent to reign more securely, and exercise her cruel tyranny.  
The other of Medea is no less cruel, for having got from Jason all that a woman outragioufly could snatch from a man, to whom she had abandoned herself, she contrived against his prosperity, and against the quiet of his family; and to act her part the better, she learned the Magic Art, to be subservient to her, in the ruin of her whom she deemed to be her rival, and to displease him whom so passionately she loved. Her cruelty was so great, that she murdered her brother as a pledge of her impudicity.  
Atalanta the daughter of Scheneus glorying and triumphing in her beauty, (surpassing all of her age and sex) and swiftness in running, resolved with the consent of her father, never to marry any one but him who should outrun her in the race: Giving this answer to all her suitors, I will not refuse to be the wife of the Victor, and to be the Laurel of his victory, on condition nevertheless, that the vanquished die by my own hand, to expiate their temerity; which bloody condition she so strictly observed, that Hippomene, son of Megare and grandchild of Neptune, a most beautiful young man, coming to the course, and seeing the rivulets of blood at the end of the Career, was exceedingly astonished, saying within himself, Is it possible that men should be so blind, to seek a woman among so many dangers? but while he thus deplored the sad fate of his miserable corrivals, Atalanta passed by (whom yet he had not seen) whom when he saw glittering like the Sun in beauty, he lift up his hands to heaven and cried out, being dazzled with so many miracles, Pardon me, courageous Lovers, that I have accused yond of folly; excuse my indiscretion, which hath wrongfully condemned you before I knew the price of your race, the merits of that rich recommence which animated your hopes. Hippomene being thus ravished with the beauty of Atalanta, and being jealous that some o her would present himself before him, resolved immediately to hazard his life as the others, and to enter the lists, to gather the fruits of love. Atalanta in the interim not regarding but affranchising and setting at random the considerations of the beauty, nobility, courage, and love of Hippomene, who exposed himself to death for her sake, said with an inflexible heart to mercy. Wherefore should I care for his life, having made so many to die already? he must die since he deserves it, since he will destroy himself, the death of my other Suitors not serving him for a warning: But shall he die for having desired to live with me? shall he receive no other reward of his love than an unjust fate? Wherefore (for the aggravation of her cruelty) shall I have a heart so basely inhuman to desire a victory, which shall charge me with the reproaches of his blood? But amidst these suspences of Atalanta, Venus favouring Hippomenes, gave him three beautiful golden Apples, which, having got a little way before her, he let fall one after another, and while she, surprised with the lustre of them, stooped to take them up, he came first to the Goal, and married her. But this good fortune was not lasting for Atalanta continuing her pride, and being so notoriously ambitious, drew upon her the fierce anger of Cybele the mother of the gods, (whose Temple she had profaned by carnal pollution) who strangely metamorphosed them both, changing Hippomene into a Lion, and Atalanta into a Lioness, to live thereafter in woods and forests amongst the beasts.  
I will recite no more Histories, fearing to offend the goodness of wise and discreet women, who cannot without much horror hear so much discourse of the cruelty of those who dishonour their sex. It shall suffice to say, that there are women so rigid in authority, so exact in their commandments, so punctual in their ordinances, so jealous of their power, and so imperious in their behaviour, that as it is requisite for a woman to know how to command women wifely; so must she be a woman that knows readily how to obey the laws and ordinances of women. I leave themselves to be their own judges in this, and only add, that these naughty packs have a heart so vain, a mind so haughty, and a port so proud and stately, that we may well firname them.   

V  
Vanitas Vanitaris.  
Vanity of Vanities.  
FOr three or four good reasons parents did anciently sorrow at the birth of their daughters; the fi st was, for that if they were handsome and comely, a great deal of care, trouble and vigilance was required to keep them so, which was well signified in that Hieroglyphic of a woman who was represented armed cap a pe with a Dragon at her feet, to show, that chaste maidens need all manner of arms and defences to resist the assaults and suggestions of the devil, and the cunning insinuations of sensual men, and who have no government over themselves. The second was, That if they were ugly, or deformed, or ill-shaped, a great deal of money was required to set them off in marriage. The third, That being unapt to Sciences and Mechanic Arts, they were of no use either to private or public good. The fourth is, The natural vanity and custom of women, who give the reins to their unbridled passions; for proof whereof, if you observe their words, their actions, their enterprises and designs, and all their behaviour, you shall find so much vanity and vainglory, that the braved Orator in the world could better deplore then express them. This vanity makes them disdainful, lofty, curious, desirous of praise and honour, to the vaunting of their extraction, of their nobility, that they came from out the thigh of Jove; this makes them pleasant and attentive to the cogging and flattering courtships, even to the contempt of candour and ingenuous freeness, which is one of the most noble qualities they could be possessed of; wedding, as it were, dissimulation, so that hypocrisy, and that seeming good which appears in them as by instinct of nature, is merely a disguise; they force their deportments, and draw in their mouth, the more artificially to grace their words, which are those Lime-twigs whereby they catch those, whom they would metamorphose into their humours and qualities.  
'Tis this vanity also which makes them pompous vainglorious, nice, and and to be wantonly habited, for which they search all manner of stately bravery and gaudiness; the Moenian Pactolus and Portugal Tagus must be despoiled of their rich gold Sands, to content their luxury in Rings and Jewels; the Odours of Musk, Ambergris, Civet, Iris, and Abdanon are not spared, to perfume those stinking and unsavoury exhalations which come from beneath them: and further, to reform the wisdom of God, (O vanity insupportable!) they content not themselves with Neck-handkerchiefs, Corgets, with false Perruques, white, flaxen, frizeled, auborn, and brown; with Bracelets, Necklaces, Carknets, and a thousand other lesser trinkums', but they use also paintings, false colours to dissemble the ugliness of their face, their neck, and their breasts, whose dugs, without this artifice, would rather look like two horn-pipes than pipes of milk; where love's foolish passion lays his Nets to catch those Swans of Meander, without considering, that these things are abnominable before God, and forbidden by the Divine Laws, as also by profane.  
Lycurgus' by his Laws forbade the superfluity in apparel; and the Romans seeing the excess and luxury in them, especially by women, made a Law, that they should never wear any dress of gold, nor any garments of divers colours, or powdered with gold and silver: Which Law continued, till the effeminateness of Asia became Mistress of that glorious City.  
But, may some Finical Dame say, men are as guilty in this vanity as women. Grant them to be so, yet are they more excusable, because the most part thereof is in expense upon Arms, Horses, , and other equipage, commonly upon design to raise their fortune, to appear splendid in Courts and Camps well accoutred to the service of their Princes. But women with all these looking-glasses at their side, their Fans and Muffs, etc. & other trim niceties, have no other aim, but make use of them for the most part to draw in the slaves of their lewd pleasure, with so much excess, such change, and such curiosity, that the poor Tailor knows not of what wood to make his arrow, with what new fashion to please them.  
And though the mode now be easier to be found than the stuff, yet is there a certain sort of women, that, if they could, would wear the whole world on their backs. To which purpose he that writ, The means of making the Turks sworn enemies of Christendom, in his book hath this passage, I saw a Turkish woman, who belonged but to a private person, wear about her in  to the value of 3000 Ducats: If a simple Damosel was so vain, what think you of the wives of the Bashaws, the Viziers, and the Grand Signors. But to leave the Turkish women, we have so bad here in France, that we may not well blame them there.  
St. Cyprian saith, That women which go thus attired, wear the stamp and image of the Devil, St. Austin terms such garments, the signs and interpretation of an adulterous heart, and lascivious and inconstant mind; Impudicus habitus signum est adulterini cordis.  
St. Paul writing to his Disciple Timothy, would not have women to be adorned with so many precious stones, carcanets, curled hair, and rich habits; but to wear only such as were decent, honest, and agreeable to their quality, walking always in modesty and sobriety: Cum verecundia & modestia ornantes se.  
Theodoret reports a pretty story in his History of the Fathers, which deserves reading: His mother being aged twenty three years, and troubled with a fore eye, went to St. Peter the Hermit in a silk gown, and adorned with rich pendants in her ears, to obtain a remedy. That holy person seeing her in such a habit, which she thought suitable to her youth and quality, took occasion to speak familiarly to her about it, and to reprove her vanity in this manner: What would you say, Madam, if you should see a dull and unskilful Painter take up the Pencil to mend a Picture, which had been drawn by the best workman in the world, and wherein, according to his judgement, nothing could be faulted; would you not take that man for a rash and ignorant fellow, and worthy of punishment? and this excellent Painter, would not he have cause to complain of this boldness, and to cause him to be severely chastised? She thereupon replying, that he had just cause to do so. He then rejoined, Consider in the same manner, (Madam) that God, that great heavenly Maker, hath created you to his own image and likeness and by the same power he created you has made you perfect and accomplished; and think you, that you have not lustre, beauty, and perfection enough to please his Divine Majesty, without borrowing from the creatures (the works of his hands) an addition of ornament, reforming thereby his infinite power, and sovereign wisdom? If you have recourse to paintings, patching to strange colours, to borrowed hairs, and other vanities, will not this show, that you believe God to be ignorant, wanting of power, and inconsiderate, in not having made you according to your desire? May you not be charged with boldness and presumption by that Divine Majesty, who made you no other than you are? His words struck such a fear into her, that having her eye cured by him, she came home and disrobed herself of her gay attire, laid aside her pendants and her other fineries, in the most flourishing age of her life, habiting herself ever afterwards as plainly and modestly as she could.  
I wish our fine Dames would do the like, that there were no such she reformers of the wisdom of God in the world, remembering that terrible sentence of the Prophet Zephaniah, Visitabo super omnes qui induti sunt veste peregrina; by which God threatens, that in the last day he will make inquisition of those who wear strange garments and other gauderies, which make up an artificial beauty. To which purpose I wish those plastered fine Dames, which will not amend, were as handsomely affronted as those Courtesans were once by the means of Phryne (the beautifullest ha' lot in her time) in a full feast.  
Erasmus saith in the sixth of his Apophthegms, that she being one day at Table with a great number of her sisters of the same Trade, seeing them all-to-be-painted, to put a trick upon those wenches (it being a custom and mannerly for guests to do that which others do out of civility and good carriage) she wetted her hands in the water, and therewith rubbed her forehead: the others straight doing the same in imitation of her who was a Sun in beauty without paint or other artifice; the fucus was apparent, the wrinkles were seen, and they looked like old withered hags, which made them the laughter of the whole company, who dismissed them with as much shame and disgrace, as they came full of mirth, pride, and arrogance.  
To say all in a word, if this be blame-worthy in secular women and Courtesans, a thousand times more detestable it is in those, who in all their ways and actions, aught to give testimony of their contempt of the world, and the lusts and vain pomp thereof; who are obliged to please none but their celestial Spouse, who delights in those souls which perfect themselves in the race of mortification, and in the exercise of patience under all the severity and heat of those afflictions which it pleaseth God to send them towards their advancement in the way of salvation, and the attainment of glory.  
If as St. Peter speaking of women, saith, They ought rather to go in a decent habit, and be rather adorned with virtue than with gold, silver, or jewels; that her  ought to be of the same value, simplicity, and modesty as fits such who have a Husband so divine and heavenly, and who pleaseth not himself with those minds which are taken up among their wardrobes, and furs, and corruptible earthly riches, and who relish nothing but wanton Venery: And if the wife of Philo the Jew could reply to those who blamed her, for not wearing a Crown on her head, and other ornaments, as the women of her time did, I am adorned, saith she, already with the singular virtues and perfections of him, whom God hath given me to be my husband: If women are to take up the resolution of daughters consecrated to God, and who by the vow of their profession have espoused a perpetual Cloister, to live conformably to the actions and virtues of him, who hath redeemed them by the effusion of his blood, endued them with his g ace, bestowed on them his love, taken them for his most dear and loving Spouse; should they have any other felicity, or glory, or contentment, than in the Cross? laying with St. Paul, Mihi autem absit gloriari nisi in cruse, etc.  
Beautiful Esther long since said to God, Thou knowest that I abhor the sign of my high estate which is upon my head, in the day wherein I show myself, and that I abhor it as a menstruous rag, and wear it not when I am private by myself.  
Livy in his Fourth Book of the Roman History, observes, That the Senate having set at liberty one of the Vestal Virgins, falsely accused of incest, the Pontifex Maximus, to take off any suspicion which afterwards might fall upon her, and to show her the manner of that life which she was to observe according to her profession, forbade her ever afterward to be trimly dressed, and that above all she should not give herself to scurrilous talk, or any kind of merry discourse; but that she should behave herself as becomes a serious, sage, discreet, silent, and modest women in all her actions. And if this were required as necessary in a Vestal Virgin, who worshipped Idols, how much more is this requisite in Chrian Maidens, who adore the true God, and are his Spouses?  
St. Jerom showing Laetà how she should instruct her daughter, whom she had devoted to Christ by the vow of her Virginity, among other excellent instructions these are very remarkable; Have a care, saith he, that your daughter frequent not the company of secular and worldly women; beware you bore not her ears, paint not her face, curl or powder her hair, vermilion her cheeks, encircle her neck with pearls, adorn her head with Rubies or chains of gold, or her body with precious garments, which are already the beginning of the fire of hell; remember that Pretexta, that noble Lady attiring the Virgin Eustochium a-la-mode the rhymes, at the command of her husband Hymetitus, to break and frustrate the good purpose and desire of the mother of the said Virgin, was menaced by an Angel from heaven, who appearing to her in the night, said thus; Miserable as thou art, how hast thou dared to prefer the command of a husband to the Son of God? who made thee so hardy as to touch his Spouse with thy sacrilegious hands? wert thou not afraid to profane by such uncleanness a Virgin of God? Now that you may bear the punishment of this sin, I declare unto thee, that thy hands shall whither, and thou shalt suffer extreme pain, and at the end of five months' Hell shall swallow thee up; and I assure thee further, if thou perseverest in thy wickedness, and in thy naughty courses, God shall take away thy husband and children. A terrible threatening, but I tremble at the effect; she delayed her repentance, and God hastened his judgement, causing her to die suddenly: an example to others to forbear corrupting of such, who are dedicated to the service of God.  
From whence I infer, That not only the Votaries themselves offend in triming and dressing themselves, but also those that give them advice and counsel so to do: For the blessed Bridegroom inquires not of the ornament of the body, but of the soul; not the nobility of birth, but virtue; not the beauty of the face, but of the mind; not the good condition of the body, but the health of the mind; not prudence or other worldly bravery, but Faith, Hope, Charity, Humility, and other virtues, which keep us right in the way of salvation. Those that live contrarily, and to the guise of the world, and of the loser for't, I shall not be afraid in stead of the Spouse of Christ to call them Harpies, Sirens, inanimated by evil Angels, Spirits bearing the image of the Devil, and meriting to be compared to the conditions of Xerxes the Monarch of Persia and that we paint upon her forehead, according to the order of the Alphabet, this Epithet   

X  
Xanxia Xerxis.  
Xerxes' Ambition.  
Xerxes' was a Prince so inflated with arrogance, and puffed up with ambition, and tainted with vanity, that he had not his like, and therefore is a fit comparison for women, by his conformity to them, and theirs to him.  
The pride and ambition of this Prince mounted to the high imagination of conquering the terrestrial Paradise, having an Army of 1200000 men, as Palbertus reports; but God, that resists the proud, withstood his design, afflicting him with so terrible a famine, that through mere hunger he and his Army was constrained to retreat the same way again. This was a vast haughtiness, but if we consider that haughty transgression of the first woman, we shall find it to surpass this in every point.  
Men further report two things of this Prince, more remarkable than all the other; the first, his luxury and excesses in pleasure; the second, his extreme choler, and furious vengeance. Cicero saith, in the Fifth Book of his Tusculan Questions, about the beginning, That this lascivious and wasteful Prince contented not himself in the tasting the known debauched pleasures of the age, but to fill his depraved concupiscence, promised by his Edict great rewards to such as should invent new and extraordinary ones; the most scelerate action in the world.  
To the second, his rage; Herodotus saith, That coming with his Army to the straits of the Hellespont, over which he designed to build a Bridge, to march his men over from Asia into Greece, it happened, that during this labour in vain, a storm arose and broke down his Bridge so much as he had done. At this he was so madly incensed, that he commanded three hundred blows with a Rod to be given this Sea, and threw Chains into it thinking to shackle it; he bade also so many bangs to be inflicted on it, adding all sorts of threatening and mischief. This not appeasing his fury, in the last place he gave order to cut off the heads of all those, who were appointed to the custody of all his Waters and Bridges, as if they had been the cause of this unfortunate adventure; this was a wild sally of the maddest and inconsideratest person in the world. But if we search History, we shall find women more brutish, wanton, and audacious than this proud Prince; for to the first, his luxury, I abhor to think there should be found women so dissolute and bestial, that not content with the most lustful perdite sort of men of their own species, but that abusing their nature, they should prostrate and abandon themselves not only to beasts, but to the devil himself, who enjoy and mix with them (though without any pleasure) in borrowed bodies. As an example for the first, see Philo the Jew, in his tract of particular Laws, where you shall find Pasiphae the wife of King Minos in love with a Bull, seeking by all means to have carnal knowledge of that Beast.  
The learned Apuleius saith, That a certain woman called Meroes' on a time fell into such a fit of rage, that she highly menaced the provokers of her displeasure; in fury she vaunted, that she would displace Heaven itself, she would dry up the Springs and the Sea, put out the Stars, illuminate Hell, cast to the ground even the Creator of this great Universe. Behold, if this be not the most unparallelled audacious boldness in the world, far above and beyond the pride of the devil, who attempted no more than to be equal with God: this woman would make God less mighty than herself, and be superior to him.  
Orosius that famous person saith, That during the Consulship of Claudius Marcellus, Titus, and Valerius, there were put to death 380 Roman Ladies convicted of Witchcraft; and in his list of the Sorceresses, he puts in the first place Hecate; then Circe and Medea, since which, the world by incestuous copulation, according to the custom of Sorceresses, hath been still replenished, and hell filled; and this goddess did not only preside over Charmers, Incantators, etc. but also over Veneficiaries, and all sorts of poison, and to whom they addressed themselves for success upon those mischiefs and maleficia, which other Sorcerers should do.  
I shall mention one story, which deserves to be transmitted, you shall see it in the Daemonomanie of D. Bodin, and more clearly in the Table of the Inconstancy of Daemons and evil Spirits.  
The story relates, that a young Girl named Magdalena de la Croix, native of Cordova in Spain, being descended of a mean family and parentage, resolved to collect some alms to help forward the re-building and restoration of the Convent of St. Clare, which then went to ruin; and managed the business so well, that the Monastery was finished. This gave occasion to me Nuns to receive her into their company, where a certain black Daemon, like an Aethiopian, came into acquaintance with her, being then aged betwixt ten and twelve years, and wrought so by his devilish policies, that he made her a slave to his will; making her seem also in a short time the wisest and holiest of her age; and the better to captivate her entirely to his obedience, she was no sooner twelve years' old but he demanded her in marriage; whereto giving her consent, he married her upon this condition, that for the space of thirty years and more he should make her to equal, yea, to surpass in holiness, all of her profession, whether Monks or Nuns; which succeeded according to her desire: Thereby there grew such a familiarity between them, that this Daemon forced sometimes to go to other places, which he made her believe were of great repute, he gave her a Servitor in his place, which assisted her in all things; and taking the form of the said Magdalen, did imitate her in all things, doing that which she ought to do for her ease; and when her Daemon returned, he told her all things worthy of notice that had passed in the world.  
Among other things he told her one day, of the the taking of Francis the First, prisoner, and the spoil that was soon after committed at Rome; which she relating to the Nuns, they thought she knew it by revelation of some good Angel. To make short the story, this Magdalene doing admirable signs, and strange wonders, which passed for miracles, together with the holiness of life which outwardly appeared, she was chosen Abbess of the Monastery, to the satisfaction of all the Religious therein, and behaved herself so well in this charge, that nothing was to be complained of in her: On Festivals she was so fervently devout, that the hath been lifted three cubits high from the ground, having often in her hands the image of our Lord, showing at times a head of hair reaching to her ankles, which disappeared presently: Being at Mass, the partition wall of the Choir would open of itself, sometimes to give a more commodious sight of the holy Hostia; and those days wherein she failed to communicate, (which is very strange) the Priest having consecrated the Hosts to the number of the Nuns present, found that he had one to say, thinking that some good Angel had reserved it to give it her himself; and indeed some of the Religious did sometimes see the Host come to her in the air, and this very Host did leap into her mouth, which she showed them publicly.  
This so augmented her credit and reputation of holiness, that Popes, Emperors, Kings, Princes, sent their Letters, recommending themselves to her prayers. The Spanish Princesses were first deceived; for the wife of Charles the Fifth sent her swadling-cloaths to wrap her son Philip the Second with, that she would bless them with her hand. But she did so many wonderful things, that at last the Nuns began to take her for a Witch; which she perceiving, and God touching her by degrees by his grace, the thirty years of her Covenant being expired, about the year 1546 she accused herself, and confessed to the Visitors of the Order, that she had known this Daemon from the age of twelve years, continuing them to thirty onward; and having made a general confession, desired their assistance: When, the Daemon who had so long bewitched her, seeing her resolution, endeavoured by all means to dissuade her, but not able to effect it was constrained to leave her; who, the better to expiate her sin, was put in prison, where she underwent a hard and austere penance, till at last she obtained pardon of it from Pope Paul the Fourth.  
There is another sin more odious to God and man, yea, to little children, which is drunkenness, the most infamous name can be given them.   

Y  
Yperanoposis Effrons.  
Shameless Drunkenness.  
OF all the Vices none is more stupid, gross, and brutish than this; we see that it reigns chief among the Germans, who are the grossest Nation in the world. In other vices we an descry some lineament of diligence, valour, good menage, prudence and policy; but in this there is nothing but what is heavy and earthly, and alike hurtful to the body and the spirit.  
You shall see in Plutarch, St. Ambrose, Tertullian, Arnobius, and Aulus Gellius, that drunkenness wastes the memory, dulls the spirits, corrupts the blood, troubles the brain, debilitates the senses, stammers the tongue, shakes the body, enfeebles the nerves, makes all the members to tremble, burns up the lungs, rots them, and makes the breath stink like a dead carcase, dims the sight, fumes into the head, extinguisheth heat, inflames the breast, blows up the stomach, stirs up luxury, provokes wrath, disorders the steps, causeth babbling, discovers secrets, consumes wealth, defames the honour, enervates the strength of generation, shortens life, confounds nature, and, which is worst, steals away time, robs us of day, drives away the fear of God and his judgements, destroys grace, occasions the enmity of the Creator, and obliges men to everlasting punishment.  
The first example is of a widow woman, reported by the Sieur de Montaign in his Essays, of a woman; who lying on her hearth by the fire side drunk, was found by her servant in such a posture, that he carnally knew her without waking of her, by whom being gotten with child, and perceiving it some few days after, she acquainted a neighbour, that she should think herself to be impregnated, but that the had no husband; nevertheless nature by degrees showing the truth of her conjecture, she caused it to be published by the Crier of the Town, that she would forgive any person that had done it, and would avow it, and marry him to boot: Her servant culpable of the fact, believing her promises, declared all that had passed, and his mistress married him, and made him her husband. In this we see the strength of wine, and the evil it brings men in; that it stupifies people, and renders them unsensible of pleasure, even of the pleasures of Venery.  
The Romans made Laws against women drinking of wine, under pain of great punishments; St. Austin citing the Law, saith, That nature hath justly forbidden women the power of commanding; and I second it, That it is not without reason, that the Laws and customs of the world have inhibited the manages of Empire, and the use of wine to them: For these two Laws are the main Buttresses and Defences, which can stop that rage and madness which so transports them, as Juvenal saith,.  Et rabie jecur incendente feruntur Praecipites. 
Women were the first at Thebes that sacrificed to Bacchus the god of Drunkenness, and the wine being once in their head, there was no manner of cruelty and insolence which they did not exercise, as we see in the death of Pentheus, Orpheus, and many others. To which purpose Pindar and Virgil describing a furious person, void of judgement and reason, they only used a Metonymy, adapting them into the names of some drunken terms taken from women, called Bacchants and Maenades, one whereof called Agave being drunk, killed her own son the King of Thebes.  
Not to inquire further into History, I say, as in Ecclesiasticus, that a drunken woman, and a gadder abroad, causeth great anger, and she will not cover her own shame, intimating, that she is then a perfect fury; which makes him also to say, That he would rather dwell in the deserts among wild beasts, than to sojourn with a froward woman, inflamed with rage and anger; which wine redoubles.  
I must say, That indeed it is a great punishment to dwell with such; but following the order of our Alphabet, we shall find another kind of women less sufferable than those, and these are such who seem furiously transported with love, that the least thing in the world is capable to make them jealous, even of a shadow, concerning that they love; and therefore deserve to be called.   

Z  
Zelus Zelotypus.  
Zeal of Jealousy.  
Jealousy differs not much from Envy, they are both the most irregular passions Envy regards the good of another with extreme regret, that it cannot possess and obtain it; Jealousy considers the good of another, with fear, that any one else should partake of it. Now how much more men cherish what they themselves then others have, by so much is it not to be wondered at, if the fear of losing that which one possesseth doth more disquiet the spirit, than the good of another; and if so, by consequence, that Jealousy is a passion more troublesome to be undergone than Envy, it is a disease which lodgeth only in weak, sottish, and distrustful minds, for properly it is no other than a distrust of ones self, and an infallible testimony of its little merit; it changeth moreover perfect love into hatred, respect into disdain, honour into contempt, trust into distrust, the sweetness of life into the bitterment of a perpetual torment, and the most pleasant and delightful recreations into the most sharp and disquieting perturbations imaginable.  
It is a rage which troubles and wearies without any intermission a mind therewith possessed, it is a tyranny which like a cunning Serpent winds itself into base and low minds under the title of love, wherein soothing others, it turneth to a mortal hatred, upon the same foundations of goodwill: virtue, merit, favour; valour and reputation are the incentives of this Spite and jealous rage, though they should be the motives and inducements to affection and love.  
The holy Scripture compares it to two things, which show its terribleness; first to the formidable Majesty, and the dreadful fury which the sons of God shall make to appear, when they are to judge the world, Accipiet armaturam Zelus illius; and secondly, to the frightful pains of hell; for it not only savageth the sweetest natures, but so over-bears them, that they are incapable of patience and pardon.  
The naturalists tells us, that a certain Bird called Porphyrion is so jealous of her companion, that knowing her to be disloyal he will kill himself. It is reported also, that the Shepherd Cratis falling in love with a she-goat, her mate became so jealous, that finding him asleep he choked him with his horns, with so much force also, that he broke his skull, and so brought him to his death.  
The like may be instanced in Lions, Elephants, and other beasts, and innumerable examples of men and women, in whom it reigneth especially, because they are less magnanimous and courageous than men, who engage and oblige the goodwill of others by a confidence of their own deserts, and which renders them worthy of that which they desire and possess, through their benevolences and singular virtues.  
It is well to the purpose that jealousy is compared to hell, particularly that of a woman; for if there be a thousand sorts of punishments to afflict the damned, women have also a thousand inventions to afflict those, who cannot or will not comply with their wills; and if that which they love seriously be not complaisant enough to their purpose, their love is turned into hatred, which ends in poisons, treasons, conspirations, and other attemptt, upon the honour and life of those, who have nothing so dear to them as their innocence.  
Of many Tragical Histories, take this.  
Lucitia so passionately loved her husband, that to bring him to her desire she gave him Aconite, a deadly poison, mistaking it for a love-potion, of which he died instantly. The same Author saith also, that Cyanippe was so extremely jealous of her husband, that she suspecting his custom of hunting was a pretence to his courting of other Ladies, went out into the Forest to, espy it out; but she could not so well conceal herself, but the Dogs bearing a brusling of the leaves, ran upon her and tore her in pieces; at which her husband was so grieved that he killed himself in the place. In these two stories there is more of indiscretion than cruelty, but that of Ariadne is more doleful and Tragical, because the Emperor Zeno Isauricus her husband was not so serviceable to her as she desired, she caused him to be buried alive, a most horrible cruelty.  
I hope and firmly believe, that the wise and discreet will bear me no ill-wil; for as contraries set together do make one another show the better, so these Satyrs and Anatomies of vice, will make the nobleness, the excellency, the virtues of good women (whom I will maintain to be equal in number with the bad) to be more illustrious. For though the wise man saith, He could find, none, 'twas not that he would absolutely deny there was none, but he would express, that when a woman doth well, she is not to be considered in the quality of a woman, or according to the inclination of her sex, but as having a Masculine spirit, a martial courage, and the heart of a man; for as there are effeminate men, so are there masculine women, and of a more magnanimous mind than many men; and indeed, the greatest contumely that can be cast upon debauched and lose men, is to call them effeminate; and the greatest praise that can be given to women is to name them virile and martial. To which purpose Erasmus saith, That Ennius in blaming the inconstancy and lightness of some young men, could find no better words to his purpose then to tell them, that they had the spirit of women; Vos etenim juvenes animos geritis muliebres. For as the Poet saith in the Fourth of the Aeneids, Women are changeable every hour.  
Laertius observes in the Sixth Book of the lives of Philosophers, that Diogenes finding a young youth delicately trimmed curled, and a la mode the Madam, said unto him, I marvel that thou art not ashamed of thy shame, counterfeiting and disguising thy nature; she made thee a man, and thou makest thyself a woman by this female trimming, and feminine delicacies.  
Philo the Jew, in his Book of Strength and Courage, saith. That God intending the man should show himself courageous in his actions, in his deportments, and in his habit, forbade him expressly, as we may see in Deut. 22. that he should never wear the habit of women; Vir non utetur veste foeminea, nec mulier veste virili: Whereupon this learned Hebrew infers, That God forbids men the garments of a woman, because he ought not to have the lead feminine thing in or about him, but that he should be vigorous in all his actions; and so contrarily to the woman: However the case be now, most certain it is, that God made her for an ornament of human kind, for a comfort to our nature, and to sweeten the miseries of our life, for the contentment of men, and to People the heavenly Paradise; to which, the blessed TRINITY conduct and bring us All.    

Advice of the Author to Virtuous WOMEN.  
My LADIES,  
IT is reported, that the invincible Hercules being one day upon an adventure, found in the open field Vice and Virtue in the guise of two women of different age and habit, and easy to be known by their outward behaviour: Both of these seeing this young man in search of some delightful good, to perpetuate the contentment of his mind during the course of his life, not deeming himself happy enough in his excelling Lions, Tigers, Centaurs, and Giants in strength, presented themselves before him with all sorts of recompenses and promises. Vice, to draw him the sooner to her discretion, and charm more feelingly and forcibly his will and affections, offered herself to his eyes in the shape of a young and fair Damsel, ennobled with all the Beauties, enriched with all the Pearls, Diamonds and Jewels imaginable to be found in the East, or in the bosom of Nature; clothed with the most precious raiment that can be had from the Merchants, made fit to her goodly and exact stature, with so much neatness, modishness, and sutablenese, that it was enough to make heaven amorous of her beauty, and the Sun himself jealous of all those, who thenceforward should think themselves worthy of her affections. She addressing herself thus to Hercules in this goodly array, promised him, That if he would partake of her favours, and follow her in all things, she would lead him through a way strewed with Roses, with Lilies, and Aromatic flowers, unto the safe Haven of extreme Content, which he should receive in the enjoyment of honours, grandeurs, pleasures, estate, and riches, in the grace and favour of all the great Monarches of the Earth: But that at the end of that pleasant race, and at taking his leave of this to go into the other world, he could hope for nothing but an accumulation of misery, grief, pain, and suffering.  
Vice having finished her Oration, and the tender of her promises, Virtue being desirous to gain to her so brave a courage, went another way to work, appearing to him in the form of an old Matron, all wrinkled, dishevelled, deformed, and bended, clothed as poorly and simply as might be; in which posture, seeing Hercules disgusted at her, and to turn away his eyes, she bespoke him in this manner; Hercules, I am not a finikin, spruce, beautiful woman, nor so richly adorned as that woman which just now spoke with you, and gave you those sweet and pleasing words, therewith to bait your affections, charm, your will, and render thee her slave. I will not promise thee riches, nor the pleasures of the world, nor the favours of Princes, nor to lead thee a way diversified with sports and pastims: But I dare assure thee, that if thou wilt follow me in a way full of briers, thorns, flints, rough and abrupt, difficult and hard to climb, to the top of a Mountain, I will give thee to taste all sorts of delicacies, pleasures, and contentments, not for a few days or years, but for eternity, and for ever.  
Hercules having heard Virtue, began to disdain Vice with all her caresses and temporary pleasures, and consider with himself, that it were better for a little time to endure the asperity of a difficult way, and worldly passage, to be afterwards eternally happy, then being intoxicated with vain and perishable pleasures, be for ever miserable.  
I pass from the moral application of Fable to that which concerns the two ways, which are proposed to man at his birth by Jesus Christ, represented by Virtue; and by the Devil, figured by Vice; the one conducing to heaven by pains, miseries, and the cross, gibbets, punishments, affronts, injuries, and troubles; and the other to hell by pleasures, riots, vanities, and delicacies, I would therefore only observe in favour of you, virtuous women, that as Vice found no readier means to deprive Hercules of his attainment to eternal happiness, than by the pompous spoils of your sex, as likewise doth the devil to destroy the whole world; so virtue judgeth nothing more expedient to save and make happy this young man, than the shape of a woman, to intimate, that your sex is as susceptible of that royal quality, which ennobles souls destined for heaven, as that detestable deformed monster of Vice, which appears so amiable, is to entrap, and sink, and drown her slaves in the abyss of an eternity of miseries.  
I discover this by the admirable invention of the ancient Poets & Philosophers, who showing of one side the good and favours which men partake of, say, That they are communicated to us under a feminine signification; for Juno gives riches, Pallas science, Ceres' fruits of the earth, Diana chastity, Chloris flow s, and so the other goddesses, who, according to them, were the honour and ornament of heaven and earth. On the other side, the said Philosophers speaking of the miseries and troubles of humane life, say, That men have suffered them through the means of women, and under feminine names, as Persephone, Proserpina, the Furies, the Fates, the Harpies, the Gorgon, the Eumenideses, Sirens, Pandora, etc. and as many, or more, destructive, as there were good and virtuous: For we find among the Poets, that Jupiter the chief Pagan god, he could find among all the women that were in the world but nine virtuous ones, whom he named Muses, whom he lodged upon the Hill Parnassus, of a great height, separating them thereby from the company of others, that they might not partake of their bad education, and of their vices, which made them the lees of the world, the scum of nature, the seminary of misery, the scourge of the insensible, the dam of all the filth and ordure in the world. As virtue hath made you (wise women) according to the same praises of the Philosophers, the honour of the world, the enamel of the earth, the beauty of the universe, the flourishing plat, where nature hath placed her greatness, and heaven doth influence it with the rich treasures of his inexhaustible stores, the Nectar and the Ambrosia of the living, and the Springtime of all humane things, the glory of man, and the comfort of our times and age.  
I confess ingenuously, that all these noble Epithets, and millions more, are due to your merits, in consideration of that virtue which shines within your minds, embellisheth your actions, ennobles your thoughts, raiseth your designs, accompanies your enterprises, leads the way to your desires, gives that grace to your discourse, gives reputation to your silence, makes all your deportments acceptable, and renders you capital enemies to the vices and infamous actions of your sex, who endeavour by their imperfection to blemish the perfection of your merits, and are the occasion, that the indiscreet and the ignorant of the other sex do not honour and dearly esteem you as is necessary. As for me, it is my intention to make every day a new Panegyric of your praises, provided I find not myself ill paid for having published this Anatomy of Vices, on purpose to make the lustre of your virtues more resplendent in the Temple of Memory, and in the Firmament of future ages. For it is the duty of every discreet person to blame Vice, and praise Virtue, without fear of scandalous and poisoned tongues, or of men born for nothing but themselves, and to censure, defame, reprove, and rashly judge the actions of another.  
Do not believe, My Ladies, that I designed this at leisure times for any displeasure received from any one in particular of your sex; for I cannot believe there is at least a mind so basely made, that would revenge a particular injury upon the general, or to use such a cowardly Pen, as not to dare freely to address it against her who did offend him, as well as against others that have done him no displeasure.  
Live then in hope to see those praises and encomiums (which are due to your merits quickened by your virtue) one day published; and believe me, as I have composed this Alphabet to cause an amendment in the bad, so is it my design to write your Eulogies, to make virtue increase in you more and more: Virtus enim laudata crescit; and to protest to you, that there is no person in the world who more ardently desires the furtherance of your salvation, and the approaches of glory and happiness which you hope for with me in heaven, whether the Blessed TRINITY conduct us All.  
FINIS.