THE DOCTORS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT, BEING A MOST PLEASANT DIALOGUE BETWEEN DOCTOR COZEN and a Fellow of his own College, desiring him to resign his Mastership.  
Printed in the year, 1641.   

THE DOCTORS LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.  Fell. 
REverend Doctor, both the precedent, and all the rest of the Fellows, Scholars, and Students in our College, humbly remembering and presenting their service unto you even unto the final event, do beseech you to resign the Mastership that the College may neither suffer detriments, nor the Collegiates disgrace by your immature death.  Cous. 
Sir, I congratulate your presence together with your message, I will fully answer your expectation therein, but you shall first permit me to transcurre some circumstances, which I would gladly have resolved unto me.  Fell. 
Ask and require what you please, 'tis your servant's duty to submit, and he will resolve you to the utmost of his intelligence.  Cous. 
What? Does the Chapel retain its former Ornaments.  Fel, 
But few of them as yet are erected.  Cous. 
It argues then that some are neglected; and I pray thee what are those few. Does not the Cross stand still: I hope they have not rejected the Crucifix, have they.  Fel. 
Sir, that remains, and have long expected your coming, although frustrated thereof.  Cous. 
My desires have been ardent, and my affection fervent to have come divers times to visit my Daughter, but these shackles (a pox on the inventor of them) have drawn me bacl; but if it remains, do they not worship it still, as in time past, when I was Patron over it?  Fel. 
Some red-hot Zelots like yourself do observe the ceremonial rights, and ecclesiastical innovations, and will not omit the least Canonical duty, but do still bow as popishly to it, as ever you did yourself present.  Cous. 
I do extol them with a meritorious collaudation.  Fel. 
But some others whose devotion is more pious and religious, do despise it with a detestable contempt.  Cous. 
Why do you not punish them by restriction, and castigation, O why do ye not compel them by coerrion.  Fel. 
'Tis vanity for any man to command Arminianise to be observed by them whose consciences cannot digest it.  Cous. 
You say true indeed, for had not I commanded things contrary to men's consciences, I had never been sensible of this misery, to which now I am subjected. But what of the other ceremonies, do the Pictures and graven Images still remain.  Fel. 
Those likewise as yet are not abolished.  Cous. 
That does somewhat relate the ambiguity of my thoughts; but do they worship them too.  Fel. 
Some have not the conscience to look upon them, and I have heard some say that they had rather see you hanged there then the pictures in your room.  Cou. 
What audacious impudence is this? why do you not compel them by more restriction; but does the Altar remain still, and have ye not yet forgot to burn incense thereto, as in my time, wherein you were very diligent?  Fel. 
Pardon the insolent arrogancy of my too remiss tongue; I have heard some wish that you were sacrificed herein.  Cou. 
Oh! what audacity is this.  Fel. 
Suffer not passion to conquer thus thy captive thoughts, for 'tis a custom in the world, to promulgate whatsoever their conceit nourisheth.  Cou. 
Well, let that pass, Does the Triple Crown which I built in S. Mary's, retain its splendent structure.  Fel. 
But I beseech you permit me to evacuate what my greedy mind desireth to disgorge unto you; I have heard many pray, that your head may be erected there to make up an even number.  Cou. 
This transcends humane patience, for although I have been patiented in many things, yet I remember that Apophthegmatical sentence, Laesa patientia fit furor.  Fel. 
By the same patience, to which you have compelled many to subject themselves in your Pontificial and Romish innovations, by the same patience I beseech you to elevate your depressed thoughts.  Cou, 
Since I see there is no remedy but patience, I must embrace that; but how fares the Fellows of St. Peter's College, what do they judge of me.  Fel, 
Sir, they think that your Mastership's Canons will requoile, and their opinion is, that they ought to be new cast, for their Founders miscarry.  Cou. 
There are many will perform that office for me; therefore I shall not need to solicit myself in that point; But does the College flourish in Scholars, are many Freshmen admitted since my departure.  Fel. 
We have not one Scholar admitted this twelvemonth, and God knows whether, we shall have ever again, as long as you bear the title of their Master, therefore the College did desire me in all their behalves to exhibit their supplication, beseeching you to resign your Mastership to some deservable man.  Cou. 
I will grant your petition, with retribution of many thanks, that they are so careful and indulgent of the Colleges prosperity.  Fel. 
You have spoken with a magnanimous spirit; excuse my insolence herein, Pray have you no hopes of recovering your imprisonment and restitution of your former fortunes.  Cou. 
Troth but very little, all men are so maliciously incensed against me, that I despair of that.  Fel. 
But do you think they will deprive you of your life.  Cous. 
That is ambiguous, but if I had had but thus much intelligence heretofore, I could have followed my good friend Finch over the Ocean.  Fel. 
I commend him for't, for if he had stayed any longer, he would have been put in a Cage; but thou mightest have escapen with Windebancke.  Cou. 
There was such a tempestuous storm, that I durst not venture.  Fel. 
I fear it will arise more tempestuous yet.  Cou. 
But I will not detain thy negotiating mind with any longer ambages, let this suffice thee, and solace the College, with an express investigation of comfort that I do with as great alacrity and cheerfulness of mind resign my place to him who you shall most judiciously elect as ever I assumed that Title first.  
But one thing I shall desire thee to put in execution for me with all expedition, I will precurre the Breviary of my last will and Testament, which I will make.  Fel. 
Sir I highly commend the aspiring sublimit of your magnanimous mind, & for your benefactions which you shall bequeath to the University, the resounding Echo of your benevelous will shall redound and propagate to late posterity.  Cous. 
Imprimis my true Divinity Books (of which I have but very few) I bequeath to the University Library that it may for ever flourish in the prosperous palm of Religion, and may never be more polluted with the contagious infection of Popery, as in my days it hath been now too much, God now avert it.  Fel. 
This benignity God will recompense for your good will and affection bend to the famous University.  Cous. 
Item, my Mass, Popish, and Romish books, of which I have many Volumes, I bequeath partly to the poor, that they may warm their fingers this following Winter by them on the Market hill, partly to Tobacconists and Grocers, with the like of that profession.  Fel. 
I likewise commend thy charitable deeds to the poor.  Cous. 
Item, my pictures and Images I devote freely, and withal I divide, partly to the Apple-mongers, partly to Husbandmen, that they may be hanged up to scare Crows.  Fel. 
Sir, I think in my conscience that you will perform more commendable and laudable deeds at your departure in your will, than ever you did in your life time.  Cou. 
Item, I bequeath my liberty to the Mitre, Crosskeys, and the Pope's head in Cambridge, for I did so often frequent those three places, that no Scholar dare come but he should find me there, wherefore now I set them 〈…〉 liberty in this my Testament.  〈◊〉. 
For that act you shall incur the prayers of many.  Cous. 
Item, I bequeath my honesty to all the women in Cambridge, for their children are so ingenious, that their Husbands are persuaded that they are not their own.  Fel. 
Oh what blessings will the good men accumulate upon you for that benefit in giving chastity to their wives, for I have oftentimes heard that Scholars would sometimes dispute with them in Folio.  Cou. 
Item, I devove understanding to the Mayor, for he employs himself so earnestly to the Plough & Cart, that he cannot understand the height of his office.  Fel. 
'Tis the best gem that thou couldst have adorned him with; for riches or Authority without understanding is like a precious Jewel in a swine's snout.  Cou. 
Item, my Bible in Folio, with a Comment, I bequeath to the Doctors, desiring them from my heart, that they would make truer use of it then ever I did.  Fel. 
That likewise is a meritorious deed.  Cou. 
Item, my Latin tongue I bequeath partly to the Beadles, that they may learn to speak true Latin, partly to Trinity Hall to the Lawyers, that they may write true Latin, and not break Priseans head so often as they do.  Fel. 
They have both just cause to elevate thy judicious understanding above the Poles, for that thou hast given them the greatest benefit that could have been wished for, whose way have been too long obrubilated in obscurity, but thou hast reduced them from that error into the bright and irradiating path of wisdom.  Cou. 
Lastly, I have three lives to bequeath, one life I devove to the Doctors and Bishops, that they may live to see the Church in a true Reformation. The second life I bequeath to Clare Hall in Cambride, that they may live to see their College built; the third and last life I 〈◊〉 willingly bequeath to myself, that I might live and 〈◊〉 these things performed.  Fel. 
I never heard a more ingenious Will composed, that thou shouldst leave thyself so rare a benefit, but I fea● thy last wish will scarce be granted, thou shouldst have foreseen that before, for now, alas, I fear it will be too late, and thou mayst well expound the Apologation of th●t sentence to thyself. Sero sapiunt Phryges'.  Cou. 
I leave that to the ambiguous rotation of doubtful Fortune, whose certainty is never more sound than in her own uncertainty: But for thy part labour with sedulous diligence, and diligent sedulity, to avoid those pernicious enormities, which I have fall'n into.  Fel. 
By God's divine providence and omnipotent assistance I will always extirpate evil seeds out of the Church.  Cou. 
Well, I will now contract myself in brief: I beseech thee see my Will performed in diligent execution, and remember me in my last breath to the whole University, desiring their pardon, and to the College, desiring them at their pleasure to elect a new Master, for I resign my title therein.  Fel. 

Let God Almighty with his heavenly power,  
Thus all th'enemies' of the Church devour.  
And let him Pontificians all defame,  
To propagate the Gospel of his name,  
And we of thee a Master as we crave,  
So a religious Doctor let us have:  
Who will confirm the truth, and firmly stand  
From all false doctrine that infects this land.  
A Reformation let us now possess,  
And true Religion let us all profess.   
FINIS.