PARADOXES, PROBLEMS, ESSAYS, CHARACTERS, Written By Dr DONNE Dean of PAUL'S: To which is added a Book of EPIGRAMS: Written in Latin by the same Author; translated into English by I: MAINE, D. D.  
As also Ignatius his Conclave, A satire, Translated out of the Original Copy written in Latin by the same Author; found lately amongst his own Papers.  
De jesuitorum dissidiis.  
Quos pugnare, Scholis, clamant, high, (discite Regna)  
Non sunt Unanimes, conveniuntque nimis.  
London, Printed by T: N: for Humphrey Moseley at the Prince's Arms in Saint Paul's Churchyard, 1652.   


The Table.  


PARADOXES.  
I. A Defence of women's Inconstancy. 1  
II. That Women ought to paint 7  
III. That by Discord Things increase. 10  
IU. That Good is more common than Evil 13  
V. That all things kill themselves 16  
VI That it is possible to find some virtue in some Women. 18  
VII. That Old men are more fantastic then Young. 20  
VIII. That Nature is our worst Guide. 23  
IX. That only Cowards dare lie, 26  
X. That a Wise Man is known by much laughing. 29  
XI. That the Gifts of the Body are better than those of the Mind. 33  
XII. That Virginity is a Virtue. 81    


PROBLEMS.  
I. WHy have Bastards the best Fortune. 38  
II. Why Puritan make long Sermons. 41  
III. Why did the Devil reserve Jesuits till these latter days. 42  
IU. Why is there more variety of Green then of other colours. 43  
V. Why do young Laymen so much study Divinity. 44  
VI. Why hath the common Opinion afforded Women souls. 45  
VII. Why are the Fairest falsest. 47  
VIII. Why Venus-Star only doth cast a shadow? 49  
IX. Why is Venus-star multinominous, called both Hesperus & Vesper? 52  
X. Why are New Officers lest oppressing? 54  
XI. Why doth the Pox so much affect to undermine the Nose? 66  
XII. Why die none for Love now? 58  
XIII. Why do women delight much in Feathers? 59  
XIV. Why doth not Gold soil the Fingers? ib.  
XV. Why do Great men of all dependants, choose to preserve their little Pimps? 60  
XVI. Why are Courtiers sooner Atheists, than men of other conditions? 61  
XVII. Why are Statesmen most incredulous? 62    


CHARACTERS.  
THe Character of a Scot at the first sight. 65  
The true Character of a Dunce. 67    
AN Essay of Valour, 72  
A Sheaf of Miscellany Epigrams, 88  
IGnatius nis Conclave, 107    

Ben. Johnson to the Author.  
WHo can doubt, Donne, where I a Poet be?  
When I dare send my Epigrams to thee  
That so alone canst judge, so alone dost make:  
And in thy censures, evenly, dost take  
As free simplicity, to disavow,  
As thou hast best authority t' allow:  
Read all I send: and, if I find but one  
Marked by thy hand, and with the better stone  
My title's sealed. Those that for claps do write,  
Let punies, porters, players praise delight,  
And till they burst, their backs, like ass' load:  
A man should seek great glory, and not broad.   

PARADOXES.  

I. A Defence of women's Inconstancy.  
THat Women are Inconstant, I with any man confess, but that Inconstancy is a bad quality, I against any man will maintain: For every thing as it is one better than another, so is it fuller of change; The Heavens themselves continually turn, the Stars move, the Moon changeth; Fire whirleth, Air flieth, Water ebbs and flows, the face of the Earth altereth her looks, time stays not; the Colour that is most light, will take most dies: so in Men, they that have the most reason are the most inalterable in their designs, and the darkest or most ignorant, do seldomest change; therefore Women changing more than Men, have also more Reason. They cannot be immutable like stocks, like stones, like the Earth's dull Centre; Gold that lieth still, rusteth; Water, corrupteth; Air that moveth not, poisoneth; then why should that which is the perfection of other things, be imputed to Women as greatest imperfection? Because thereby they deceive Men. Are not your wits pleased with those jests, which cousin your expectation? You can call it pleasure to be beguiled in troubles, and in the most excellent toy in the world, you call it Treachery: I would you had your Mistresses so constant, that they would never change, no not so much as their smocks, than should you see what sluttish virtue, Constancy were. Inconstancy is a most commendable and cleanly quality, and Women in this quality are far more absolute than the Heavens, than the Stars, Moon, or any thing beneath it; for long observation hath picked certainty out of their mutability. The Learned are so well acquainted with the Stars, Signs and Planets, that they make them but Characters, to read the meaning of the Heaven in his own forehead. Every simple fellow can bespeak the change of the Moon a great while beforehand: but I would fain have the learnedst man so skilful, as to tell when the simplest Woman meaneth to vary. Learning affords no rules to know, much less knowledge to rule the mind of a Woman. For as Philosophy teacheth us, that Light things do always tend upwards, and heavy things decline downward; Experience teacheth us otherwise, that the disposition of a Light Woman, is to fall down, the nature of women being contrary to all Art and Nature. Women are like Flies, which feed among us at our Table, or Fleas sucking our very blood, who leave not our most retired places free from their familiarity, yet for all their fellowship will they never be tamed nor commanded by us. Women are like the Sun, which is violently carried one way, yet hath a proper course contrary: so though they, by the mastery of some overruling churlish husbands, are forced to his Bias, yet have they a motion of their own, which their husbands never know of: It is the nature of nice and fastidious minds to know things only to be wary of them: Women by their sly changeableness, and pleasing doubleness, prevent even the mislike of those, for they can never be so well known, but that there is still more unknown. Every woman is a Science; for he that plods upon a woman all his life long, shall at length find himself short of the knowledge of her: they are born to take down the pride of wit, and ambition of wisdom, making fools wise in the adventuring to win them, wisemen fools in conceit of losing their labours; witty men stark mad, being confounded with their uncertainties. Philosophers write against them for spite, not desert, that having attained to some knowledge in all other things, in them only they know nothing, but are merely ignorant: Active and Experienced men rail against them, because they love in their liveless and decrepit age, when all goodness leaves them. These envious Libelers ballad against them, because having nothing in themselves able to deserve their love, they maliciously discommend all they cannot obtain, thinking to make men believe they know much, because they are able to dispraise much, and rage against Inconstancy, when they were never admitted into so much favour as to be forsaken. In mine opinion such men are happy that women are Inconstant, for so may they chance to be beloved of some excellent woman when it comes to their turn out of their Inconstancy and mutability, though not out of their own desert. And what reason is there to clog any woman with one man, be he never so singular? Women had rather, and it is far better and more Judicial to enjoy all the virtues in several men, than but some of them in one, for otherwise they lose their taste, like divers sorts of meat minced together in one dish: and to have all excellencies in one man (if it were possible) is Confusion and Diversity. Now who can deny, but such as are obstinately bend to undervalue their worth, are those that have not soul enough to comprehend their excellency, women being the most excellent Creatures, in that man is able to subject all things else, and to grow wise in every thing, but still persists a fool in woman? The greatest Scholar, if he once take a wife, is found so unlearned, that he must begin his Hornbook, and all is by Inconstancy. To conclude therefore; this name of Inconstancy, which hath so much been poisoned with slanders, aught to be changed into variety, for the which the world is so delightful, and a woman for that the most delightful thing in this world.   

II. That Women ought to Paint.  
FOulness is Loathsome: can that be so which helps it? who forbids his beloved to gird in her waste? to mend by shooing her uneven lameness? to burnish her teeth? or to perfume her breath? yet that the Face be more precisely regarded, it concerns more: For as open confessing sinners are always punished, but the wary and concealing offenders without witness, do it also without punishment; so the secret parts needs the less respect; but of the Face, discovered to all Examinations and surveys, there is not too nice a Jealousy. Nor doth it only draw the busy Eyes, but it is subject to the divinest touch of all, to kissing, the strange and mystical union of souls. If she should prostitute herself to a more unworthy man than thyself, how earnestly and justly wouldst thou exclaim? that for want of this easier and ready way of repairing, tobetray her body to ruin and deformity (the tyrannous Ravishers, and sudden Deflourers of all women) what a heinous adultery is it? What thou lovest in her face is colour, and painting gives that, but thou hatest it, not because it is, but because thou knowest it. Fool, whom ignorance makes happy, the Stars, the Sun, the Sky whom thou admirest, alas, have no colour, but are fair, because they seem to be coloured: If this seeming will not satisfy thee in her, thou hast good assurance of her colour, when thou seest her lay it on. If her face be painted on a Board or Wall, thou wilt love it, and the Board, and the Wall: Canst thou loathe it then when it speaks, smiles, and kisses, because it is painted? Are we not more delighted with seeing Birds, Fruits, and Beasts painted then we are with Naturals? And do we not with pleasure behold the painted shape of Monsters and Devils, whom true, we durst not regard? We repair the ruins of our houses, but first cold tempests warns us of it, and bites us through it; we mend the wrack and stains of our apparel, but first our eyes, and other bodies are offended; but by this providence of Women, this is prevented. If in Kissing or breathing upon her, the painting fall off, thou art angry, wilt thou be so, if it stick on? Thou didst love her, if thou beginnest to hate her, then 'tis because she is not painted. If thou wilt say now, thou didst hate her before, thou didst hate her and love her together, be constant in something, and love her who shows her great love to thee, in taking this pains to seem lovely to thee.   

III. That by Discord things increase.  
Nullos esse Deos, inane Coelum Affirmat Coelius, probatque quod se Factum vidit, dum negat haec, beatum.  
SO I assevere this the more boldly, because while I maintain it, and feel the Contrary repugnancies and adverse fightings of the Elements in my Body, my Body increaseth; and whilst I differ from common opinions by this Discord, the number of my Paradoxes increaseth. All the rich benefits we can frame to ourselves in Concord, is but an Even conservation of things; in which Evenness we can expect no change, no motion; therefore no increase or augmentation, which is a member of motion. And if this unity and peace can give increase to things, how mightily is discord and war to that purpose, which are indeed the only ordinary Parents of Peace. Discord is never so barren that it affords no fruit; for the fall of one estate is at the worst the increaser of another, because it is as impossible to find a discommodity without advantage, as to find Corruption without Generation: But it is the Nature and Office of Concord to preserve only, which property when it leaves, it differs from itself, which is the greatest discord of all. All Victories and Emperies gained by war, and all judicial decidings of doubts in peace, I do claim children of Discord. And who can deny but Controversies in Religion are grown greater by Discord, and not the Controversy, but Religion itself: For in a troubled misery men are always more Religious then in a secure peace. The number of good men, the only charitable nourishers of Concord, we see is thin, and daily melts and wains; but of bad discording it is infinite, and grows hourly. We are ascertained of all Disputable doubts, only by arguing and differing in Opinion, and if formal disputation (which is but a painted, counterfeit, and dissembled discord) can work us this benefit, what shall not a full and main discord accomplish? Truly me thinks I owe a devotion, yea a sacrifice to discord, for casting that Ball upon Ida, and for all that business of Troy, whom ruin'd I admire more than Babylon, Rome, or Quinzay, removed Corners, not only fulfilled with her fame, but with Cities and Thrones planted by her Fugitives. Lastly, between Cowardice and despair, Valour is gendered; and so the Discord of Extremes begets all virtues, but of the like things there is no issue without a miracle: 
Vxor pessima, pessimus maritus  
Miror tam malè convenire.   
He wonders that between two so like, there could be any discord, yet perchance for all this discord there was ne'er the less increase.   

IV. That Good is more common than Evil.  
I Have not been so pitifully tired with any vanity, as with silly Old men's exclaiming against these times, and extolling their own: Alas! they betray themselves, for if the times be changed, their manners have changed them. But their senses are to pleasures, as sick men's tastes are to Liquors; for indeed no new thing is done in the world, all things are what, and as they were, and Good is as ever it was, more plenteous, and must of necessity be more common than Evil, because it hath this for nature and perfection to be common. It makes Love to all Natures, all, all affect it. So that in the world's early Infancy, there was a time when nothing was evil, but if this world shall suffer dotage in the extremest crookedness thereof, there shall be no time when nothing shall be good. It dares appear and spread, and glister in the world, but evil buries itself in night and darkness, and is chastised and suppressed when good is cherished and rewarded And as Imbroderers, Lapidaries, and other Artisans, can by all things adorn their works; for by adding better things, the better they show in Lush and in eminency; so good doth not only prostrate her amiableness to all, but refuses no end, no not of her utter contrary evil, that she may be the more common to us. For evil manners are parents of good Laws; and in every evil there is an excellency, which (in common speech) we call good. For the fashions of habits, for our moving in gestures, for phrases in our speech, we say they were good as long as they were used, that is as long as they were common; and we eat, we walk, only when it is, or seems good to do so. All fair, all profitable, all virtuous, is, good, and these three things I think embrace all things, but their utter contraries; of which also fair may be rich and virtuous; poor may be virtuous and fair; vicious may be fair and rich; so that good hath this good means to be common, that some subjects she can possess entirely; and in subjects poisoned with evil, she can humbly stoop to accompany the evil. And of indifferent things many things are become perfectly good by being common, as customs by use are made binding Laws. But I remember nothing that is therefore ill, because it is common, but women, of whom also; They that are most common, are the best of that Occupation they profess.   

V. That all things kill themselves.  
TO affect, yea to effect their own death all living things are importuned, not by Nature only which perfects them, but by Art and Education, which perfects her. Plants quickened and inhabited by the most unworthy soul, which therefore neither will nor work, affect an end, a perfection, a death; this they spend their spirits to attain, this attained, they languish and wither. And by how much more they are by man's Industry warmed, cherished and pampered; so much the more early they climb to this perfection, this death. And if amongst men not to defend be to kill, what a heinous self, murder is it, not to defend itself. This defence because Beasts neglect, they kill themselves, because they exceed us in number, strength, and a lawless liberty: yea, of Horses and other beasts, they that inherit most courage by being bred of gallantest parents, and by Artificial nursing are bettered, will run to their own deaths, neither solicited by spurs which they need not, nor by honour which they apprehend not. If then the valiant kill himself, who can excuse the Coward? Or how shall man be free from this, since the first man taught us this, except we cannot kill ourselves, because he killed us all. Yet lest something should repair this common ruin, we daily kill our bodies with surfeits, and our minds with anguishes. Of our powers, remembering kills our memory: Of affections, Lusting our lust; Of virtues, Giving kills liberality. And if these kill themselves, they do it in their best and supreme perfection: for after perfection immediately follows excess, which changeth the natures and the names, and makes them not the same things. If then the best things kill themselves soon, (for no affection endures, and all things labour to this perfection) all travel to their own death, yea the frame of the whole world, if it were possible for God to be idle, yet because it began, must die. Then in this idleness imagined in God, what could kill the world but itself, since out of it, nothing is?   

VI That it is possible to find some virtue in some Women.  
I Am not of that seared Impudence that I dare defend Women, or pronounce them good, yet we see Physicians allow some virtue in every poison. Alas! why should we except Women? since cerrtainly they are good for Physic at least, so as some wine is good for a fever. And though they be the Occasioners of many sins, they are also the Punishers and Revengers of the same sins: For I have seldom seen one which consumes his substance and body upon them, escape diseases, or beggary; and this is their Justice. And if suum cuique dare, be the fulfilling of all Civil justice, they are most just; for they deny that which is theirs to no man, 
Tanquam non liceat nulla puella negat.  And who may doubt of great wisdom in them, that doth but observe with how much labour and cunning our justicers and other dispensers of the Laws study to embrace them: and how zealously our Preachers dehort men from them, only by urging their subtleties and policies, and wisdom, which are in them? Or who can deny them a good measure of Fortitude, if he consider how valiant men they have overthrown, and being themselves overthrown, how much and how patiently they bear? And though they be most intemperate, I care not, for I undertook to furnish them with some virtue, not with all. Necessity, which makes even bad things good, prevails also for them, for we must say of them, as of some sharp pinching Laws; If men were free from infirmities, they were needless. These or none must serve for reasons, and it is my great happiness that Examples prove not Rules, for to confirm this Opinion, the World yields not one Example.   

VII. That Old men are more Fantastic then Young.  
WHo reads this Paradox but thinks me more fantastic now, than I was yesterday, when I did not think thus: And if one day make this sensible change in men, what will the burden of many years? To be fantastic in young men is conceitful distemperature, and a witty madness; but in old men, whose senses are withered, it becomes natural, therefore more full and perfect. For as when we sleep our fancy is most strong; so it is in age, which is a slumber of the deep sleep of death. They tax us of Inconstancy, which in themselves young they allowed; so that reproving that which they did approve, their Inconstancy exceedeth ours, because they have changed once more than we. Yea, they are more idly busied in conceited apparel than we; for we, when we are melancholy, wear black; when lusty, green; when forsaken, tawny; pleasing our own inward affections, leaving them to others indifferent; but they prescribe laws, and constrain the Noble, the Scholar, the Merchant, and all Estates to a certain habit. The old men of our time have changed with patience their own bodies, much of their laws, much of their languages; yea their Religion, yet they accuse us. To be Amorous is proper and natural in a young man, but in an old man most fantastic. And that riddling humour of jealousy, which seeks and would not find, which requires and reputes his knowledge, is in them most common, yet most fantastic. Yea, that which falls never in young men, is in them most fantastic and natural, that is, Covetousness; even at their journey's end to make great provision. Is any habit of young men so fantastic, as in the hottest seasons to be double-gowned or hooded like our Elders? Or seems it so ridiculous to wear long hair, as to wear none. Truly, as among the Philosophers, the Skeptike, which doubts all, was more contentious, then either the Dogmatic which affirms, or Academike which denies all; so are these uncertain Elders, which both calls them fantastic which follow others inventions, and them also which are led by their own humorous suggestion, more fantastic than other.   

VIII. That Nature is our Worst Guid.  
SHall she be guide to all Creatures, which is herself one? Or if she also have a guide, shall any Creature have a better guide than we? The affections of lust and anger, yea even to err is natural, shall we follow these? Can she be a good guide to us, which hath corrupted not us only but herself? was not the first Man, by the desire of knowledge, corrupted even in the whitest integrity of Nature? And did not Nature, (if Nature did any thing) infuse into him this desire of knowledge, and so this corruption in him, into us? If by Nature we shall understand our essence, our definition or reason, nobleness, than this being alike common to all (the Idiot and the Wizard being equally reasonable) why should not all men having equally all one nature, follow one course? Or if we shall understand our incli nations: alas! how unable a guide is that which follows the temperature of our slimy bodies? for we cannot say that we derive our inclinations, our minds, or souls from our Parents by any way: to say that it is all from all, is error in reason, for then with the first nothing remains, or is a part from all, is error in experience, for then this part equally imparted to many children, would like Gavel-kind lands, in few generations become nothing: or to say it by communication, is error in Divinity, for to communicate the ability of communicating whole essence with any but God, is utter blasphemy. And if thou hit thy Father's nature and inclination, he also had his Fathers, and so climbing up, all comes of one man, and have one nature, all shall embrace one course; but that cannot be, therefore our complexions and whole bodies, we inherit from Parents; our inclinations and minds follow that: For our mind is heavy in our body's afflictions, and rejoiceth in our body's pleasure: how then shall this nature govern us that is governed by the worst part of us? Nature though oft chased away, it will return; 'tis true, but those good motions and inspirations which be our guides must be wooed, courted, and welcomed, or else they abandon us. And that old Axiom, nihil invita, etc. must not be said thou shalt, but thou wilt do nothing against Nature; so unwilling he notes us to curb our natural appetites. We call our bastards always our natural issue and we define a Fool by nothing so ordinary, as by the name of natural. And that poor knowledge whereby we conceive what rain is, what wind, what thunder, we call Metaphysicke, supernatural; such small things, such no things do we allow to our pliant Nature's apprehension. Lastly, by following her we lose the pleasant, and lawful commodities of this life, for we shall drink water and eat roots, and those not sweet and delicate, as now by Man's art and industry they are made: we shall lose all the necessities of societies, laws, arts, and sciences, which are all the workmanship of Man: yea we shall lack the last best refuge of misery, death, because no death is natural: for if ye will not dare to call all death violent (though I see not why sicknesses be not violences) yet causes of all deaths proceed of the defect of that which nature made perfect, and would preserve; and therefore all against nature.   

IX. That only Cowards dare die.  
Extremes are equally removed from the mean; so that headlong desperateness as much offends true valour, as backward Cowardice: of which sort I reckon justly all un-inforced deaths. When will your valiant man die of necessity? so Cowards suffer what cannot be avoided: and to run into death unimportuned is to run into the first condemned the sperateness. Will he die when he is rich and happy? then by living he may do more good: and in afflictions and miseries, death is the chosen refuge of Cowards. 
Fortiter ille facit qui miser esse potest.  But it is taught and practised among our Gallants, that rather than our reputations suffer any maim, or we any misery, we shall offer our breasts to the Cannon's mouth, yea to our swords points: And this seems a very brave and a very climbing (which is a Cowardly, earthly, and indeed a very grovelling) spirit. why do they chain these slaves to the Galleys, but that they thrust their deaths, and would at every loose leap into the Sea? why do they take weapons from condemned men, but to bar them of that ease which Cowards affect, a speedy death. Truly this life is a tempest, and a warfare, and he which dares die, to escape the anguish of it, seems to me, but so valiant, as he which dares hang himself, lest he be pressed to the wars. I have seen one in that extremity of Melancholy, which was then become madness, to make his own breath an Instrument to stay his breath, and labour to choke himself; but alas! he was mad. And we knew another that languished under the oppression of a poor disgrace, so much, that he took more pains to die, than would have served to have nourished life and spirit enough to have outlived his disgrace. what Fool will call this Cowardlyness, Valour? or this Baseness, Humility? And lastly, of these men which die the Allegorical death of entering into Religion, how few are found fit for any show of valiancy? but only a soft and supple metal, made only for Cowardly solitariness.   

X. That a Wise Man is known by much laughing.  
RIdi, si sapis, o puella ride; If thou be'st wise, laugh: for since the powers of discourse, reason, and laughter, be equally proper unto Man only, why shall not he be only most wise, which hath most use of laughing, as well as he which hath most of reasoning and discoursing? I always did, and shall understand that Adage; 
Per risum multum possis cognoscere stultum,  That by much laughing thou mayst know there is a fool, not, that the laughers are fools, but that among them there is some fool, at whom wise men laugh: which moved Erasmus to put this as his first Argument in the mouth of his Folly, that she made Beholders laugh: for fools are the most laughed at, and laugh the least themselves of any. And Nature saw this faculty to be so necessary in man, that she hath been content that by more causes we should be importuned to laugh, than to the exercise of any other power; for things in themselves utterly contrary, beget this effect; for we laugh both at witty and absurd things: At both which sorts I have seen men laugh so long, and so earnestly, that at last they have wept that they could laugh no more. And therefore the Poet having described the quietness of a wise retired man, saith in one, what we have said before in many lines; Quid facit Canius tuus? ridet. We have received that even the extremity of laughing, yea of weeping also, hath been accounted wisdom: and that Democritus and Heraclitus, the lovers of these Extremes, have been called lovers of Wisdom. Now among our wise men I doubt not but many would be found, who would laugh at Heraclitus weeping, none which weep at Democritus laughing. At the hearing of Comedies or other witty reports, I have noted some, which not understanding jests; etc. have yet chosen this as the best means to seem wise and understanding, to laugh when their Companions laugh; and I have presumed them ignorant, whom I have seen unmoved. A fool if he come into a Prince's Court, and see a gay man leaning at the wall, so glistering, and so painted in many colours that he is hardly discerned from one of the Pictures in the Arras, hanging his body like an Iron-bound chest, girt in and thick ribbed with broad gold laces, may (and commonly doth) envy him. But alas! shall a wise man, which may not only not envy, but not pity this Monster, do nothing? Yes, let him laugh. And if one of these hot choleric firebrands, which nourish themselves by quarrelling, and kindling others, spit upon a fool one spark of disgrace, he, like a thatched house quickly burning, may be angry; but the wise man, as cold as the Salamander, may not only not be angry with him, but not be sorry for him; therefore let him laugh: so he shall be known a Man, because he can laugh, a wise Man that he knows at what to laugh, and a valiant Man that he dares laugh: for he that laughs is justly reputed more wise, then at whom it is laughed. And hence I think proceeds that which in these later formal times I have much noted; that now when our superstitious civility of manners is become a mutual tickling flattery of one another, almost every man affecteth an humour of jesting, and is content to be deject, and to deform himself, yea become fool to no other end that I can spy, but to give his wise Companion occasion to laugh; and to show themselves in promptness of laughing is so great in wise men, that I think all wise men, if any wise man do read this Paradox, will laugh both at it and me.   

XI. That the Gifts of the Body are better than those of the Mind.  
I Say again, that the body makes the mind, not that it created it a mind, but forms it a good or a bad mind; and this mind may be confounded with soul without any violence or injustice to Reason or Philosophy: then the soul it seems is enabled by our Body, not this by it. My Body licenseth my soul to see the world's beauties through mine eyes: to hear pleasant things through mine ears; and affords it apt Organs for the convenience of all perceivable delight. But alas! my soul cannot make any part, that is not of itself disposed to see or hear, though without doubt she be as able and as willing to see behind as before. Now if my soul would say, that she enables any part to taste these pleasures, but is herself only delighted with those rich sweetnesses which her inward eyes and senses apprehend, she should dissemble; for I see her often solaced with beauties, which she sees through mine eyes, and with music which through mine ears she hears. This perfection than my body hath, that it can impart to my mind all his pleasures; and my mind hath still many, that she can neither teach my indisposed part her faculties, nor to the best espoused parts show it beauty of Angels, of Music, of Spheres, whereof she boasts the contemplation. Are chastity, temperance, and fortitude gifts of the mind? I appeal to Physicians whether the cause of these be not in the body; health is the gift of the body, and patience in sickness the gift of the mind: then who will say that patience is as good a happiness, as health, when we must be extremely miserable to purchase this happiness. And for nourishing of civil societies and mutual love amongst men, which is our chief end while we are men; I say, this beauty, presence, and proportion of the body, hath a more masculine force in begetting this love, than the virtues of the mind: for it strikes us suddenly, and possesseth us immoderately; when to know those virtues require some judgement in him which shall discern, a long time and conversation between them. And even at last how much of our faith and belief shall we be driven to bestow, to assure ourselves that these virtues are not counterfeited: for it is the same to be, and seem virtuous, because that he that hath no virtue can dissemble none, but he which hath a little, may gild and enamel, yea and transform much vice into virtue: For allow a man to be discreet and flexible to complaints, which are great virtuous gifts of the mind, this discretion will be to him the soul and Elixir of all virtues, so that touched with this even pride shall be made humility; and Cowardice, honourable and wise valour. But in things seen there is not this danger, for the body which thou lovest and esteemest fair, is fair: certainly if it be not fair in perfection, yet it is fair in the same degree that thy judgement is good. And in a fair body, I do seldom suspect a disproportioned mind, and as seldom hope for a good in a deformed. When I see a goodly house, I assure myself of a worthy possessor, from a ruinous weather-beaten building I turn away, because it seems either stuffed with varlets as a Prison, or handled by an unworthy and negligent tenant, that so suffers the waist thereof. And truly the gifts of Fortune, which are riches, are only handmaids, yea Panders of the body's pleasure; with their service we nourish health, and preserve dainty, and we buy delights so that virtue which must be loved for itself, and respects no further end, is indeed nothing: And riches, whose end is the good of the body, cannot be so perfectly good, as the end whereto it levels.    

PROBLEMS.  

I. Why have Bastards best Fortune?  
BEcause Fortune herself is a Whore, but such are not most indulgent to their issue; the old natural reason (but those meeting in stolen love are most vehement, and so contribute more spirit than the easy and lawful) might govern me, but that now I see Mistresses are become domestic and in ordinary, and they and wives wait but by turns, and agree as well as they had lived in the Ark.  
The old Moral reason (that Bastards inherit wickedness from their Parents, and so are in a better way to preferment by having a stock beforehand, than those that build all their fortune upon the poor and weak stock of Original sin) might prevail with me, but that since we are fallen into such times, as now the World might spare the Devil, because she could be bad enough without him. I see men scorn to be wicked by example, or to be beholding to others for their damnation. It seems reasonable, that since Laws rob them of succession in civil benefits, they should have something else equivalent. As Nature (which is Laws pattern) having denied Women Constancy to one, hath provided them with cunning to allure many; and so Bastards de jure should have better wits and experience. But besides that by experience we see many fools amongst them, we should take from them one of their chiefest helps to preferment, and we should deny them to be fools: and (that which is only left) that women choose worthier men than their husbands, is false de facto: either than it must be that the Church having removed them from all place in the public Service of God, they have better means than others to be wicked, and so fortunate: Or else because the two greatest powers in this world, the Devil and Princes concur to their greatness: the one giving bastardy, the other legitimation: As Nature frames and conserveses great bodies of contraries. Or the cause is, because they abound most at Court, which is the forge where fortunes are made, or at least the shop where they be sold.   

II. Why Puritans make long Sermons  
IT needs not for perspicuousness, for God knows they are plain enough: nor do all of them use Sem-brief-Accents, for some of them have crotchets enough. It may be they intent not to rise like glorious Tapers and Torches, but like Thin-wretched-sick-watching-C●…s, which languish and are in a Divine Consumption from the first minute, yea in their snuff, and stink, when others are in their more profitable glory. I have thought sometimes, that out of conscience, they allow long measure to course ware. And sometimes, that usurping in that place a liberty to speak freely of Kings, they would reign as long as they could. But now I think they do it out of a zealous imagination, that, It is their duty to Preach on till their Auditory wake.   

III. Why did the Devil reserve Jesuits till these latter days.  
DId he know that our Age would deny the Devils possessing, and therefore provided by these to possess men and kingdoms? Or to end the disputation of Schoolmen, why the Devil could not make louse in Egypt; and whether those things be presented there, might be true; hath he sent us a true and real plague, worse than those ten? Or in o●…ntation of the greatness of his Kingdom, which even division cannot shake, doth he send us these which disagree with all the rest? Or knowing that our times should discover the Indies, and abolish their Idolatry, doth he send these to give them another for it? Or peradventure they have been in the Roman Church these thousand years, though we have called them by other names.   

IU. Why is there more Variety of Green then of other Colours?  
IT is because it is the figure of Youth wherein nature would provide as many green, as youth hath affections; and so present a Sea-green for profuse wasters in voyages; a Grasse-green for sudden new men ennobled from Graziers; and a Goose-green for such Politicians as pretend to preserve the Capitol. Or else Prophetically foreseeing an age, wherein they shall all hunt. And for such as misdemeane themselves a Willo-green; For Magistrates must aswell have Fasces born before them to chastise the small offences, as Secures to cut off the great.   

V. Why do young Laymen so much study Divinity.  
IS it because others tending busily Churches preferment, neglect study? Or had the Church of Rome shut up all our ways, till the Lutherans broke down their uttermost stubborn doors, and the Calvinists picked their inwardest and subtlest locks? Surely the Devil cannot be such a Fool to hope that he shall make this study contemptible, by making it common. Nor that as the Dwellers by the River Origus are said (by drawing infinite ditches to sprinkle their barren Country) to have exhausted and intercepted their main channel, and so lost their more profitable course to the sea; so we, by providing every one's self, divinity enough for his own use, should neglect our Teachers and Fathers. He cannot hope for better heresies than he hath had, nor was his Kingdom ever so much advanced by debating Religion (though with some aspersions of Error) as by a dull and stupid security, in which many gross things are swallowed. Possible out of such an ambition as we have now, to speak plainly and fellowlike with Lords and Kings, we think also to acquaint ourselves with God's secrets: or perchance when we study it by mingling humane respects, It is not Divinity.   

VI Why hath the common Opinion afforded Women Souls?  
IT is agreed that we have not so much from them as any part of either our mortal souls of sense or growth; and we deny souls to others equal to them in all but in speech for which they are beholding to their bodily instruments For perchance an Ox's heart, or a Goats, or a Foxes, or a Serpents would speak just so, if it were in the breast, and could move that tongue and jaws. Have they so many advantages and means to hurt us (for, ever their loving destroyed us) that we dare not displease them, but give them what they will? And so when some call them Angels, some Goddesses, and the Palpulian Heretics made them Bishops, we descend so much with the stream, to allow them Souls? Or do we somewhat (in this dignifying of them) flatter Princes and great Personages that are so much governed by them? Or do we in that easiness and prodigality, wherein we daily lose our own souls to we care not whom, so labour to persuade ourselves, that sith a woman hath a soul, a soul is no great matter? Or do we lend them souls but for use, since they for our sakes, give their souls again, and their bodies to boot? Or perchance because the Devil (who is all soul) doth most mischief, and for convenience and proportion, because they would come nearer him, we allow them some souls; and so as the Romans naturalised some Provinces in revenge, and made them Romans, only for the burden of the Commonwealth; so we have given women souls only to make them capable of damnation?   

VII. Why are the fairest falsest.  
I Mean not of falls Alchemy beauty, for then the question should be inverted, Why are the falsest fairest? It is not only because they are much solicited and sought for, so is gold, yet it is not so common; and this suit to them, should teach them their value, and make them more reserved. Nor is it because the delicatest blood hath the best spirits, for what is that to the flesh? perchance such constitutions have the best wits, and there is no proportionable subject, for women's wit, but deceit? doth the mind so follow the temperature of the body, that because those complexions are aptest to change, the mind is therefore so? Or as Bells of the purest metal retain their tinkling and sound largest; so the memory of the last pleasure lasts longer in these, and disposeth them to the next: But sure it is not in the complexion, for those that do but think themselves fair, are presently inclined to this multiplicity of loves, which being but fair in conceit are false in deed: and so perchance when they are born to this beauty, or have made it, or have dreamed it, they easily believe all addresses and applications of every man, out of a sense of their own worthiness to be directed to them, which others less worthy in their own thoughts apprehend not, or discredit. But I think the true reason is, that being like gold in many properties (as that all snatch at them, but the worst possess them, that they care not how deep we dig for them, and that by the Law of nature, Occupandi conceditur) they would be like also in this, that as Gold to make itself of use admits allay, so they, that they may be tractable, mutable, and currant, have to their allay Falsehood.   

VIII. Why Venus-star only doth cast a shadow?  
IS it because it is nearer the earth? But they whose profession it is to see that nothing be done in heaven without their consent (as Re— says in himself of Astrologers) have bid Mercury to be nearer. Is it because the works of Venus want shadowing, covering, and disguising? But those of Mercury need it more; for Eloquence, his occupation, is all shadow and colours; let our life be a sea, and then our reason and even on's are wind enough to carry us whether we should go, but Eloquence is a storm and tempest that miscarries: and who doubts that Eloquence which must persuade people to take a yoke of sovereignty (and then beg and make Laws to tie them faster, and then give money to the invention, repair and strengthen it) needs more shadows and colouring, then to persuade any man or woman to that which is natural. And Venus markets are so natural, that when we solicit the best way (which is by marriage) our persuasions work not so much to draw a woman to us, as against her nature to draw her from all other besides. And so when we go against nature, and from Venus-work (for marriage is chastity) we need shadows and colours, but not else. In Seneca's time it was a course, an un- Roman and a contemptible thing even in a Matron, not to have had a Love beside her husband, which though the Law required not at their hands, yet they did it zealously out of the Council of Custom and fashion, which was venery of supererrogation: 
Et te spectator plusquam delectat Adulter,  saith Martial: And Horace, because many lights would not show him enough, created many Images of the same Object by wainscoting his chamber with looking-glasses: so that Venus flies not light, so much as Mercury, who creeping into our understanding, our darkness would be defeated, if he were perceived. Then either this shadow confesseth that same dark Melancholy Repentance which accompanies; or that so violent fires, needs some shadowy refreshing and intermission: Or else light signifying both day and youth, and shadow both night and age, she pronounceth by this that she professeth both all persons and times.   

IX. Why is Venus-star multinominous, called both Hesperus and Vesper.  
THe Moon hath as many names, but not as she is a star, but as she hath divers governments; but Venus is multinominous to give example to her prostitute disciples, who so often, either to renew or refresh themselves towards lovers, or to disguise themselves from Magistrates, are to take new names. It may be she takes new names after her many functions, for as she is supreme Monarch of all Suns at large (which is lust) so is she joined in Commission with all Mythologicks, with juno, Diana, and all others for marriage. It may be because of the divers names to herself, for her affections have more names than any vice: scilicet, Pollution, Fornication, Adultery, Lay. Incest, Church-Incest, Rape, Sodomy, Mastupration, Masturbation, and a thousand others. Perchance her divers names showed her appliableness to divers men, for Neptune distilled and wet her in love, the Sun warms and melts her, Mercury persuaded and swore her, jupiters' authority secured, and Vulcan hammered her. As Hesperus she presents you with her bonum utile, because it is wholsomest in the morning: As Vesper with her bonum delectabile, because it is pleasantest in the evening. And because industrious men rise and endure with the Sun in their civil businesses, this Star calls them up a little before, and remembers them again a little after for her business; for certainly,  
Venit Hesperus, ite capell●…e: was spoken to Lovers in the persons of Goats.   

X. Why are new Officers least oppressing?  
Must the old Proverb, that Old dogs by't sorest, be true in all kind of dogs? Me thinks the fresh memory they have of the money they parted with for the place, should hasten them for the re-imbursing: And perchance they do but seem easier to their suitors; who (as all other Patients) do account all change of pain, easy. But if it be so, it is either because the sudden sense and contentment of the honour of the place, retards and remits the rage of their profits, and so having stayed their stomaches, they can forbear the second course a while: Or having overcome the steepest part of the hill, and clambered above Competitions and Oppositions they dare loiter, and take breath: Perchance being come from places, where they tasted no gain, a little seems much to them at first, for it is long before a Christian conscience overtakes, or strays into an Officers heart. It may be that out of the general disease of all men not to love the memory of a predecessor, they seek to disgrace them by such easiness, and make good first impressions, that so having drawn much water to their Mill, they may afterwards grind at ease: For if from the rules of good horfemanship, they thought it wholesome to jet out in a moderate pace, they should also take up towards their journey's end, not mend their pace continually, and gallop to their Inns-dore, the grave; except perchance their conscience at that time so touch them that they think it an injury & damage both to him that must sell, and to him that must buy the Office after their death, and a kind of dilapidation if they by continuing honest should discredit the place, and bring it to a lower rent, or undervalue.   

XI. Why doth the Pox so much affect to undermine the Nose?  
PAracelsus perchance saith true, That every Disease hath his Exaltation in some part certain. But why this in the Nose? Is there so much mercy in this disease, that it provides that one should not smell his own stink? Or hath it but the common fortune, that being begot and bred in obscurest and secretest places, because therefore his serpentine crawling and insinuation should not be suspected, nor seen, he comes soon into great place, and is more able to destroy the worthiest member, than a Disease better born? Perchance as mice defeat Elephants by knawing their Proboscis, which is their Nose, this wretched Indian Vermin practiseth to do the same upon us. Or as the ancient furious Custom and Connivency of some Laws, that one might cut off their Nose whom he deprehended in Adultery, was but a Type of this; And that now more charitable laws having taken away all Revenge from particular hands, this common Magistrate and Executioner is come to do the same Office invisibly? Or by withdrawing this conspicuous part, the Nose, it warns us from all adventuring upon that Coast; for it is as good a mark to take in a flag as to hang one out. Possibly heat, which is more potent and active then cold, thought herself injured, and the Harmony of the world out of tune, when cold was able to show the highway to Noses in Muscovia, except she found the means to do the same in other Countries. Or because by the consent of all, there is an Analogy, Proportion and affection between the Nose and that part where this disease is first contracted, and therefore Heliogabalus chose not his Minions in the Bath but by the Nose; And Albertus had a knavish meaning when he preferred great Noses; And the licentious Poet was Naso Poeta. I think this reason is nearest truth, That the Nose is most compassionate with this part: Except this be nearer, that it is reasonable that this Disease in particular should affect the most eminent and perspicuous part, which in general doth affect to take hold of the most eminent and conspicuous men.   

XII. Why die none for Love now?  
BEcause women are become easier. Or because these later times have provided mankind of more new means for the destroying of themselves and one another, Pox, Gunpowder, Young marriages, and Controversies in Religion. Or is there in true History no Precedent or Example of it? Or perchance some die so, but are not therefore worthy the remembering or speaking of?   

XIII. Why do Women delight much in Feathers?  
THey think that Feathers imitate wings, and so show their restlessness and instability. As they are in matter, so they would be in name, like Embroiderers, Painters, and such Artificers of curious vanities, which the vulgar call Pluminaries. Or else they have feathers upon the same reason, which moves them to love the unworthiest men, which is, that they may be thereby excusable in their inconstancy and often changing.   

XIV. Why doth not Gold soil the fingers?  
DOth it direct all the venom to the heart? Or is it because bribing should not be discovered? Or because that should pay purely, for which pure things are given, as Love, Honour, justice and Heaven? Or doth it seldom come into innocent hands, but into such as for former foulness you cannot discern this?   

XV. Why do great men of all dependants, choose to preserve their little Pimps?  
IT is not hecause they are got nearest their secrets, for they whom they bring come nearer. Nor because commonly they and their bawds have lain in one belly, for than they should love their brothers aswel. Nor because they are witnesses of their weakness, for they are weak ones. Either it is because they have a double hold and obligation upon their masters for providing them surgery and remedy after, aswel as pleasure before, and bringing them always such stuff, as they shall always need their service? Or because they may be received and entertained every where, and Lords fling off none but such as they may destroy by it. Or perchance we deceive ourselves, and every Lord having many, and, of necessity, some rising, we mark only these.   

XVI. why are Courtiers sooner Atheists than men of other conditions?  
IS it because as Physicians contemplating Nature, and finding many abstruse things subject to the search of Reason, thinks therefore that all is so; so they (seeing men's destinies, mad at Court, neck out and in joint there, War, Peace, Life and Death derived from thence) climb no higher? Or doth a familiarity with greatness, and daily conversation and acquaintance with it breed a contempt of all greatness? Or because that they see that opinion or need of one another, and fear makes the degrees of servants, Lords and Kings, do they think that God likewise for such Reason hath been man's Creator? Perchance it is because they see Vice prosper best there, and, burdened with sin, do they not, for their ease, endeavour to put off the fear and Knowledge of God, as facinorous men deny Magistracy? Or are the most Atheists in that place, because it is the fool that said in his heart, There is no God.   

XVII. Why are statesmen most incredulous?  
ARe they all wise enough to follow their excellent Pattern Tiberius, who brought the senate to be diligent and industrions to believe him, were it never so opposite or diametrical, that it destroyed their very ends to be believed, as Asinius Gallus had almost deceived this man by believing him, and the Major and Aldermen of London in Richard the Third? Or are businesses (about which these men are conversant) so conjectural, so subject to unsuspected interventions that they are therefore forced to speak oraculously, whisperingly, generally, and therefore escapingly, in the language of Almanac-makers for weather? Or are those (as they call them) Arcana imperii, as by whom the Prince provokes his lust, and by whom he vents it, of what Cloth his socks are, and such, so deep, and so irreveald, as any error in them is inexcusable? If these were the reasons, they would not only serve for state-business. But why will they not tell true, what a Clock it is, and what weather, but abstain from truth of it, if it conduce not to their ends, as Witches which will not name Jesus, though it be in a curse? eithere they know little out of their own Elements, or a Custom in one matter begets an habit in all. Or the lower sort imitate Lords, they their Princes, these their Prince. Or else they believe one another, and so never hear truth. Or they abstain from the little Channel of truth, lest, at last, they should find the fountain itself, God.    

The Character of a Scot at the first sight.  
AT his first appearing in the Charterhouse, an Olive coloured Velvet suit owned him, which since became mous-colour, A pair of unskoured stockingsgules, One indifferent shoe, his band of Edinburgh, and cuffs of London, both strangers to his shirt, a white feather in a hat that had been sod, one only cloak for the rain, which yet he made serve him for all weathers: A Barrenhalf-acre of Face, amidst whereof an eminent Nose advanced himself, like the new Mount at Wansted, overlooking his Beard, and all the wild Country thereabouts; He was tended enough, but not well; for they were certain dumb creeping Followers, yet they made way for their Master, the Laird.— At the first presentment his Breeches were his Sumpter, and his Packets, Trunks, Cloak-bags, Portmanteau's and all; He than grew a Knightwright, and there is extant of his ware at 100l. 150l. and 200l. price. Immediately after this, he shifteth his suit, so did his Whore, and to a Bear-baiting they went, whither I followed them not, but Tom. Thorney did.   

The True Character of a Dunce.  
HE hath a Soul drowned in a lump of Flesh, or is a piece of Earth that Prometheus put not half his proportion of Fire into, a thing that hath neither edge of desire, nor feeling of affection in it, The most dangerous creature for confirming an Atheist, who would strait swear, his soul were nothing but the bare temperature of his body: He sleeps as he goes, and his thoughts seldom reach an inch further than his eyes; The most part of the faculties of his soul lie Fallow, or are like the restive Jades that no spur can drive forwards towards the pursuit of any worthy design; one of the most unprofitable of all God's creatures, being as he is, a thing put clean besides his right use, made fit for the cart & the flail, and by mischance Entangled amongst books and papers, a man cannot tell possible what he is now good for, save to move up and down and fill room, or to serve as Animatum Instrumentum for others to work withal in base Employments, or to be a foil for better wits, or to serve (as They say monsters do) to set out the variety of nature, and Ornament of the Universe, He is mere nothing of himself, neither eats, nor drinks, nor goes, nor spits but by imitation, for all which, he hath set forms & fashions, which he never varies, but sticks to, with the like plodding constancy that a milhors follows his trace, both the muses and the graces are his hard Mistresses, though he daily Invocate them, though he sacrifice Hecatombs, they still look a squint, you shall note him oft (besides his dull eye and louting head, and a certain clammy benumbed pace) by a fair displayed beard, a Nightcap and a gown, whose very wrinkles proclaim him the true genius of formality, but of all others, his discourse and compositions best speak him, both of them are much of one stuf & fashion, he speaks just what his books or last company said unto him without varying one whit & very seldom understands himself, you may know by his discourse where he was last, for what he read or heard yesterday he now dischargeth his memory or note-book of, not his understanding, for it never came there; what he hath he flings abroad at all adventurs without accommodating it to time, place persons or occasions, he commonly loseth himself in his tale, and flutters up and down windles without recovery, and whatsoever next presents itself, his heavy conceit seizeth upon and goeth along with, however Heterogeneal to his matter in hand, his jests are either old flayed proverbs, or lean-starved- Apophthegms, or poor verbal quips outworn by Servingmen, Tapsters and Milkmaids, even laid aside by Bassaders, He assents to all men that bring any shadow of reason, and you may make him when he speaks most Dogmatically, even with one breath, to aver pure contradictions, His Compositions differ only terminorum positione from Dreams, Nothing but rude heaps of Immaterial-inchoherent drossie-rubbish-stuffe, promiscuously thrust up together, enough to Infuse dullness and Barrenness of Conceit into him that is so Prodigal of his ears as to give the hearing, enough to make a man's memory Ake with suffering such dirty stuff cast into it, as unwellcome to any true conceit, as Sluttish Morsels or Wallowish Potions to a Nice-Stomack which whiles he empties himself of, it sticks in his Teeth nor can he be Delivered without Sweat and Sighs, and Humms, and Coughs enough to shake his Grandams teeth out of her head; he'll spit, and scratch, and yawn, and stamp, and turn like sick men from one elbow to another, and Deserve as much pity during this torture as men in Fits of Tertian Favours or self lashing Penitentiaries; in a word, Rip him quite asunder, and examine every shred of him, you shall find him to be just nothing, but the subject of Nothing, the object of contempt, yet such as he is you must take him, for there is no hope he should ever become better.   

An Essay of Valour.  
I Am of opinion that nothing is so potent either to procure or merit Love, as Valour, and I am glad I am so, for thereby I shall do myself much ease, because Valour never needs much wit to maintain it: To speak of it in itself, It is a quality which he that hath, shall have least need of, so the best League between Princes is a mutual fear of each other, it teacheth a man to value his reputation as his life, and chiefly to hold the Lie unsufferable, though being alone, he finds no hurt it doth him, It leaves itself to others censures, for he that brags of his own valour, dissuades others from believing it, It feareth a word no more than an Ague, It always makes good the Owner, for though he be generally held a fool, he shall seldom hear so much by word of mouth, and that enlargeth him more than any spectacles, for it maketh a little fellow be called a tall man, it yields the wall to none but a woman, whose weakness is her prerogative, or a man seconded with a woman as an usher, which always goes before his betters, It makes a man become the witness of his own words, and stand to whatever he hath said, and thinketh it a reproach to commit his reviling unto the Law, it furnisheth youth with action, and age with discourse, and both by future's, for a man must ever boast himself in the present tense, and to come nearer home, nothing draws a woman like to it; for Valour towards men, is an Emblem of an ability towards women, a good quality signifies a better. Nothing is more behooveful for that Sex; for from it they receive protection, and we free from the danger of it: Nothing makes a shorter cut for obtaining, for a man of Arms is always void of Ceremony, which is the wall that stands between Pyramus and Thisbe, that is, Man and Woman, for there is no pride in women but that which rebounds from our own baseness (as Cowards grow Valiant upon those that are more Cowards) so that only by our pale ask, we teach them to deny, and by our shamefacedness, we put them in mind to be modest, whereas indeed it is cunning Rhetoric to persuade the hearers that they are that already which he would have them to be; This kind of bashfulness is far from men of Valour, and especially from soldiers, for such are ever men (without doubt) forward and confident, losing no time lest they should lose opportunity, which is the best Factor for a Lover, and because they know women are given to dissemble, they will never believe them when they deny, Whilom before this age of wit, and wearing black, were broke in upon us, there was no way known to win a Lady but by Tylting, Turnying, and riding through Forests, in which time these slender striplings with little legs were held but of strength enough to marry their widows, and even in our days there can be given no reason of the Inundation of Servingmen upon their Mistresses, but (only) that usually they carry their Master's Weapons, and his Valour; To be accounted handsome, just, learned, or well favoured, all this carries no danger with it, but it is to be admitted to the Title of Valiant Acts, at least the adventuring of his mortality, and all women take delight to hold him safe in their arms who hath 'scapt thither through many dangers: To speak at once, Man hath a privilege in Valour; In clothes and good faces we but imitate women, and many of that Sex will not think much (as far as an answer goes) to dissemble wit too. So then these neat youths, these women in men's apparel are too near a woman to be beloved of her, They be both of a Trade, but be grim of aspect, and such a one a Glass dares take, and she will desire him for neatness and variety; A scar in a man's face is the same that a mole in a woman's; a Jewel set in white to make it seem more white, for a scar in a man is a mark of honour and no blemish, for 'tis a scar and a blemish too in a Soldier to be with out one: Now as for all things else which are to procure Love, as a good face, wit, good clothes, or a good body, each of them I confess may work somewhat for want of a better, That is, if Valour be not their Rival; A good face avails nothing if it be in a coward that is bashful, the utmost of it is to be kissed, which rather increaseth than quencheth appetite; He that sends her gifts sends her world also, that he is a man of small gifts otherwise, for wooing by signs and tokens implies the Author dumb; and if Ovid who writ the Law of Love, were alive (as he is extant) would allow it as good a diversity, that gifts should be sent as gratuities, not as bribes; Wit getteth rather promise then Love, Wit is not to be seen, and no woman takes advice of any in her loving, but of her own eyes, and her waiting women; Nay which is worse, Wit is not to be felt, and so no good fellow; Wit applied to a woman makes her dissolve (or disclose) her simpering, and discover her teeth with laughter, and this is surely a purge for love; for the beginning of love is a kind of foolish melancholy, as for the man that makes his Tailor his Bawd, and hopes to inveigle his Love with such a coloured suit, surely the same deeply hazards the loss of her favour upon every change of his clothes; So likewise for the other, that Courts her silently with a good body, let me certify him that his clothes depend upon the comeliness of the body, and so both upon opinion; she that hath been seduced by Apparel, let me give her to wit, that men always put off their clothes before they go to bed: and let her that hath been enamoured of her servants body, understand, that if she saw him in a skin of cloth, that is, in a suit made to the pattern of his body, she would see slender cause to love him ever after; there are no clothes sit so well in a woman's eye, as a suit of Steel, though not of the fashion, and no man so soon surpriseth a woman's affections, as he that is the subject of all whisper, and hath always twenty stories of his own deeds depending upon him; Mistake me not, I understand not by valour one that never fights but when he is backed with drink or anger, or hissed on with beholders, nor one that is desperate, nor one that takes away a Servingman's weapons when perchance it cost him his quarter's wages, nor yet one that wears a privy Coat of defence and therein is confident, for then such as made Bucklers, would be accounted the Catiline's of this Commonwealth— I intent one of an even Resolution grounded upon reason, which is always even, having his power restrained by the Law of not doing wrong. But now I remember I am for Valour and therefore I must be a man of few words.   

PARADOX. XII. 
Place this after Paradox XI. fol. 37.  That Virginity is a Virtue.  
I Call not that Virginity a virtue, which resideth only in the Body's integrity; much less if it be with a purpose of perpetual keeping it: for than it is a most inhuman vice— But I call that Virginity a virtue which is willing and desirous to yield itself upon honest and lawful terms, when just reason requireth; and until then, is kept with a modest chastity of Body and Mind. Some perchance will say that Virginity is in us by Nature, and therefore no virtue. True, as it is in us by Nature, it is neither a Virtue nor Vice, and is only in the body: (as in Infants, Children, and such as are incapable of parting from it) But that Virginity which is in Man or or Woman of perfect age, is not in them by Nature: Nature is the greatest enemy to it, and with most subtle allurements seeks the overthrow of it, continually beating against it with her Engines, and giving such forcible assaults to it, that it is a strong and more than ordinary virtue to hold out till marriage. Ethick Philosophy saith, That no Virtue is corrupted, or is taken away by that which is good: Hereupon some may say, that Virginity is therefore no virtue, being taken away by marriage. Virginity is no otherwise taken away by marriage, then is the light of the stars by a greater light (the light of the Sun:) or as a less Title is taken away by a greater: (an Esquire by being created an Earl) yet Virginity is a virtue, and hath her Throne in the middle: The extremes are, in Excess: to violate it before marriage; in defect, not to marry. In ripe years as soon as reason persuades and opportunity admits, These extremes are equally removed from the mean: The excesse-proceeds from Lust, the defect from Peevishness, Pride and Stupidity. There is an old Proverb, That, they that die maids, must lead Apes in Hell. An Ape is a ridiculous and an unprofitable Beast, whose flesh is not good for meat, nor its back for burden, nor is it commodious to keep an house: and perchance for the unprofitableness of this Beast did this proverb come up: For surely nothing is more unprofitable in the Commonwealth of Nature, than they that die old maids, because they refuse to be used to that end for which they were only made. The Ape bringeth forth her young, for the most part by twins; that which she loves best, she killeth by pressing it too hard: so foolish maids soothing themselves with a false conceit of virtue, in fond obstinacy, live and die maids; and so not only kill in themselves the virtue of Virginity, and of a Virtue make it a Vice, but they also accuse their parents in condemning marriage. If this application hold not touch, yet there may be an excellent one gathered from an Apes tender love to Coneys in keeping them from the Weasel and Ferret. From this similitude of an Ape & an old Maid did the foresaid proverb first arise. But alas, there are some old Maids that are Virgins much against their wills, and fain would change their Virgin-life for a Married: such if they never have had any offer of fit Husbands, are in some sort excusable, and their willingness, their desire to marry, and their forbearance from all dishonest, and unlawful copulation, may be a kind of inclination to virtue, although not Virtue itself. This Virtue of Virginity (though it be small and fruitless) it is an extraordinary, and no common Virtue. All other Virtue's lodge in the Will (it is the Will that makes them virtues.) But it is the unwillingness to keep it, the desire to forsake it, that makes this a virtue. As in the natural generation and formation made of the seed in the womb of a woman, the body is jointed and organised about the 28 day, and so it begins to be no more an Embryo, but capable as a matter prepared to its form to receive the soul, which faileth not to insinuate and innest itself into the body about the fortieth day; about the third month it hath motion and sense: Even so Virginity is an Embryo, an unfashioned lump, till it attain to a certain time, which is about twelve years of age in women, fourteen in men, and then it beginneth to have the soul of Love infused into it, and to become a virtue: There is also a certain limited time when it ceaseth to be a virtue, which in men is about forty, in women about thirty years of age: yea, the loss of so much time makes their Virginity a Vice, were not their endeavour wholly bend, and their desires altogether fixed upon marriage: In Harvest time do we not account it a great vice of sloth and negligence in a Husbandman, to overslip a week or ten days after his fruits are fully ripe; May we not much more account it a more heinous vice, for a Virgin to let her Fruit (in potentia) consume and rot to nothing, and to let the virtue of her Virginity degenerate into Vice, (for Virginity ever kept is ever lost.) Avarice is the greatest deadly sin next Pride: it takes more pleasure in hoarding Treasure then in making use of it, and will neither let the possessor nor others take benefit by it during the Miser's life; yet it remains entire, and when the Miser dies most come to some body. Virginity ever kept, is a vice far worse than Avarice, it will neither let the possessor nor others take benefit by it, nor can it be bequeathed to any: with long keeping it decays and withers, and becomes corrupt and nothing worth. Thus seeing that Virginity becomes a vice in defect, by exceeding a limited time; I counsel all female Virgins to make choice of some Paracelsian for their Physician, to prevent the death of that Virtue: The Paracelsians (curing like by like) say, That if the lives of living Creatures could be taken down, they would make us immortal. By this Rule, female Virgins by a discreet marriage should swallow down into their Virginity another Virginity, and devour such a life & spirit into their womb, that it might make them, as it were, immortal here on earth, besides their perfect immortality in heaven: And that Virtue which otherwise would putrify and corrupt, shall then be complete; and shall be recorded in Heaven, and enroled here on Earth; and the name of Virgin shall be exchanged for a far more honourable name, A Wife.   

A sheaf of Miscellany EPIGRAMS.  Written in Latin by I. D. Translated by J. Main D. D. 

1. Upon one who for his wife's fault took it ill to be called Cuckold.  
RUde scoffer! why dost call me Cuckold? No  
Loose fires of Love did in my bosom grow.  
No wedlock knot by me untied hath been;  
Nor am I guilty of another's sin.  
Thy wife being not her own with thy limbs she,  
Fooled Cuckold, doth commit Adultery.  
Being, then, one flesh, and thou her Head, 'tis fit  
The Horus, in Justice, on thy Brow should fit.   

2. Upon One Roger a Rich Niggard, familiarly unacquainted with the Author.  
BOttomless pit of gold! slave to thy Chest!  
Poor in the midst of Riches not possessed!  
Self Tantalus! To thine own wealth a Thief!  
Affording scarce thy half-starv●…d Womb relief.  
Cheating thy limbs with clothes transparent worn;  
Plague to thyself! To all men else a scorn!  
Who madly dost men's silver shapes adore;  
And thence getst Cheeks pale as the silver Ore.  
Fear not I'll beg; my mind's above thy pelf;  
Good Thrifty Hodge, give something to thyself.   

3. Upon a Whore barren and not barren.  
THy oft repeated is no Childless sin;  
When thou art lain with still thy purse lies in.   

4. On the same.  
Thy dowbaked Lusts, and Tail which vainly wags,  
Are recompensed by thy still teeming bags.   

5. On an old Bawd.  
Lo, I an old Whore have to young resigned;  
Yet in my old flesh dwells a young whore's mind.   

6. On the same.  
Though ramage grown, thouart still for carting fit;  
Thy will with others bodies doth commit.   

7. On the same.  
She, whose scarce yet quenched lust to freeze begins,  
Lived by her own once, now by others sins.   

8. On a Bawdy-house.  
Here Malipiero, providing for Threescore,  
Sets up the Trade she learned before,  
With watchings many, sweatings more.   

9 Upon an old rich scolding Woman who being married to a poor young man upbraided him daily with the smallness of his Fortune. The Husband's complaint.  
What wife like mine hath any Husband known?  
By day she is all Noise, by night all stone.   

10. Another.  
Shut thy purse-mouth, Old Trot, And let's appeal;  
Who'd without sauce taste so deformed a Meal?   

11. On her unpleasing Kisses.  
They can't be Kisses called but toothless Nips,  
Which, Beldame, come from thy faint trembling lips.   

12. Another.  
When thy dry grissels with my soft lips close,  
I give thee kisses, thou returnest me blows.   

13. Another.  
Thy senses fail thee, And pray God they may,  
To me thy Coffers will their loss defray.   

14. On the same old Wife.  
Thou art no Woman, nor no woman's part,  
Infant, or Girl; say, who the Devil art.   

15. To the same.  
Be not seen, Thou, whom I distracted love,  
Lest my prodigious dotage scandal prove.  
For being a mere Image, 'twil be spread,  
That I no wife did, but an Idol wed.   

16. Upon one who saw the Picture of his scolding wife in a Painter's shop. Dialog.  
Painter, whose face is that I see?  
Thy wives. Alas! I fear 'tis she.  
Just so her scolding eyes do burn;  
And Brow doth into wrinkles turn.  
I tremble at her sharp nose; so  
Her frighting chin doth pointed grow.  
All parts are so drawn to the life,  
Methinks the picture, like my wise,  
Begins to brawl, and kindle strife.   

17. Another.  
Say Painter, who's this whom thy hand hath made,  
Thy wife who dost inquire, at least her shade.  
'Tis so; yet Painter, I had cause to doubt,  
Seeing her Tongue, her most known part left out.   

18. Another.  
Who's this, Painter? Thy wife, O  
That she were in earnest so.   

19 Another.  
Venus, when Pygmalion prayed,  
Changed a Statue to a Maid;  
Whose cold Marble drunk warm blood.  
If at my request she would  
My wife into Marble turn,  
I would white Doves to her burn.   

20. Upon a Pipe of Tobacco mistaken by the Author for the Toothache.  
Outlandish Weed! whilst I thy virtues tell,  
Assist me Bedlam, Muses come from Hell.   

21. Another.  
An Herb thou art, but useless; for made fire,  
From hot mouths puffed, thou dost in fumes expire.   

22. Another.  
A cloud Ixion for a Goddess kissed;  
So thou thy Lovers cosen'st with a mistress   

23. To the Tobacco-seller.  
Merchant of Smoke, when next thou mak'st a feast  
Invite some starved Chameleon to be guest.   

24. Another.  
Loathe, stinks, thirst, rheums, aches, and catarrh,  
Base weed, thy virtues, that's, thy poisons are.   

25. Another.  
I love thee not, nor thou me having tried  
How thy scorched Takers are but Takers fried.   

26. Another.  
Niggard's till dead are Niggard's; so vile weed,  
Thy bounty from thy ashes doth proceed.   

27. Upon a Town built in the place where a wood grew; From whence 'tis called Dukes-Wood, or the Burse  
A Wood into fair buildings changed we see;  
And th' Oak stands City where 'twas feled a tree.   

28. Another.  
Fallen Okes the Axe doth into Timber hew;  
And a Town stands where Trees demolished grew.   

29. Another.  
From a Woods ruins did these Buildings rise,  
And it stood Grove where now it Rafters lies.   

30. Another.  
This naked Beam which bears up Roofs from ground,  
Was once with branches & fair green top, crowned.   

31. Another.  
Wood yields to stone, boughs are made joyces here,  
And where a Copse stood now fair streets appear.   

32. Upon a navigable River cut through a Town built out of a Wood  
Horsemen turn sailors, waves roll where grew woods  
And against Nature Art make ways through floods.   

33. Another.  
The drowned land here a Crystal garment wears,  
And her own trees, made Barges, once more bears.   

34. Another.  
The tree her womb-bred on the back now floats  
Of this o're-flown field, now in wand'ring Boats.   

35. Another.  
The ground whose head was once enriched with Okes,  
Her Temples now steeped in sea-water soaks.   

36. Another.  
The place where once grew Ash for warlike spears  
The Maze makes drunk now with his brinish tears   

37. Upon the Meadows overflown there.  
The Meadows which their perfumed locks did boast  
Ore-flown with waters have their perfumes lost.   

38. Another.  
The hungry Cow here lately did mistake;  
And seeking grass was cozened with a lake.   

39 Another.  
Here Fishes dwell, till now not used to fields;  
And pasture ground here sportful Gudgeons yields.   

40. Another.  
Mere pleasant fields drowned by the wand'ring Maze,  
See scaly flocks swim where once sheep did graze.   

41. Another.  
Dukes-wood where once thick bushes did appear,  
Like a new Island now stands in a mere.   

42. Upon a piece of ground ore-flown, where once a Leaguer quartered.  
Here where Tents stood, Mars now to Neptune yields,  
And Sea-nymphs tread moist dances o'er the fields.   

43. Another.  
Fishes now quarter where pavilions stood;  
And the smooth Tench dies the sharp hook with blood.   

44. Another.  
Finned Soldiers here in Belgic Quarters jar;  
And the fierce Pike in troubled streams makes war.   

45. Another.  
Dutchman! This Grove once hatched the Warlike Speer,  
Which angry Perches on their backs now wear.   

46. Another.  
Gudgeons, where soldiers lay, lie trenched in Sand,  
Fearing the bloody Colours of the Land.   

47. A Dutch Captain of Foot, having with his Soldiers entered a Breach, and there a while fought valiantly with a Two-handed Sword; In the very point of Victory, being mortally wounded, spoke thus:  
I fight die; How much more blest than they,  
Whom a blind shot doth, standing idle, slay.   

48. Another.  
We've conquered Boys; My wounds I highly rate,  
When with such Honour they requite my fate.   

49. Another.  
Thus conquering killed, my ashes triumphs gain,  
And make me wish thus to be often slain.   

50. Another.  
I die well paid, whilst my expiring breath,  
Smiles o'er the Tombs of foes made kin by death.   

51. Another.  
Me the quelled Spaniard to the next world sent  
Not unrevenged; his Troops before me went.   

52. His Will.  
Let Heaven my soul, the foe my life, the grave  
My corpse, my fame let my saved Country have.   

53. To the Prince of Aurange, on his famous Victory over the Spaniards in Dukes-Wood.  
Now Golden Fruit, Prince, hang on Dukes-wood Boughs;  
Since it with Laurel crowned thy conquering Brows.   

54. Another.  
Holland and Aurange may their Conquest boast  
Of the quelled Spaniard, but brave Aurange most.   

55. Another.  
Spaniard, no more call Golden Fleeces thine,  
Since the bright name of Aurange doth more shine.   

56. A Panegyric on the Hollanders being Lords of the Sea. Occasioned by the Authors being in their Army at Dukes-wood.  
Heathen! No more thy Neptune boast; Here see  
A Neptune more Lord of the sea than He;  
Whom fruitful Holland feeds, Holland Sea-bred;  
And neighbouring Zealand folds in watery bed.  
Neptune's a Dutch God; Here his wander stay;  
And his calmed ragings con●…ring chains obey.  
His standing Flood here to the Bridle yields,  
And his fierce Torrent plays through unknown fields.  
Here the swollen sea views the inferior ground,  
And yet no green bush, even to wonder, drowned;  
Whilst Billows, like huge mountains, do hang o'er  
The pleasing Vales which creep along the shore.  
Banks hold waves captive, and through sluices free,  
And Glebes from watery prisons snatched we see.  
Glebes, which were long of sun, and sky bereaved,  
Now the Dutch Ploughman sees well cornd & sheaved.  
Kerbing the Ocean with stout Mounds and Bars,  
And with the salt Gods of it waging Wars.  
Making Art fetch from the deep's ravenous womb  
Pastures, lost towns, and houses; In which swomm  
Shelled Citizens, 'mongst pillars drenched in brine.  
Should Achelous here join strengths with thine,  
And wrestle for the conquest, Holland, here  
Each maintainer would a Hercules appear;  
And cozening Art with Art, in these dried Plains,  
Would bind the oft shape-changing God in chains.  
The oft tamed Maze here the Dutch yoke endures,  
And his feared Master to the Walls secures  
Of the famed Burse now, Dutchman, fear no harms,  
When against neighbouring Cities seas take arms.  
The Oceans thine, with thee his waves have sworn  
The league which Philip broke. By him thouart born  
To the parched Indians, and those lands of gold  
Which the proud Tyrant doth in bondage hold:  
Whose wealth transported from the plundered Mine  
His Plate-Fleet calls his, But the Sea makes thine.  
Each Dutchman is Columbus; Worlds unknown  
To the discovering Spaniard, are his grown:  
Nor can I here conceal, nor yet say well,  
Where Heynskirch's praise, or Oliver's excel,  
Or Heyn's more bold adventure; whose bright Ore  
Pressed the Sea's back with wealth snatch from the shore  
For whilst I do Dutch voyages rehearse,  
And sail with thy victorious Ships in verse,  
I, Holland in thy swimming Camp am rolled  
Into all Seas, and there both Poles behold.  
The Africa sands to thee large tribute send,  
And Asia glories to be styled thy friend;  
America's rich Mines grow in thy lands,  
And at thy conquests Europe wondering stands.   

57 To Sleep, stealling upon him as he stood upon the Guard in the corner of a running Trench, at the siege of Duke's-Wood.  
WHy dost besiege mine eyes, untimely Sleep?  
And o'er my limbs with thy dull setters creep?  
Hence, hence, depart; To roofs well tylled repair;  
To beds of down, and minds unvexed with care.  
Shut Virgins eyes, whilst Love tired with delay,  
Unstrings his Bow, and lets his Arrows play.  
Rock weary Ploughman, and new strength beget  
In those whose spirits were breathed forth in sweat;  
To men oppressed with grief, who court thy charms.  
And men unbusied lend thy Opium arms.  
Be kind to Men in bedlam, close the eyes  
Of him who in a raging fever lies.  
But let me watch; not as a spy, to mark,  
With whom my wench steals meetings in the dark.  
Here guards are kept, & from yond watchful towers,  
The crafty Foe vies broken: sleeps with ours;  
Seeking by sly plots, what pitcht-fields deny;  
Hence, hence, then Morpheus, from our quarters fly.  
Our very standing still here business find;  
Duty employs our bodies, cares our mind.  
Duty which may the next hour double strike;  
Whilst each man here stands grasping of a pike;  
Waitings stolen onsets with our weary spears,  
Examining even whispers with our ears.  
Doubts of the coming Foe, with hopes are mixed,  
And all eyes are one his approaches fi●…t.  
All passengers we summon with our eyes,  
Ask who they are, and question them or spies.  
If well-known friends, they pass; if not, they stay  
Till we their doubtful answers strictly weigh.  
Will not this serve, Sleep? will not all this fright thee?  
See, then, a night turned into day to light thee.  
See a bright shine from coal black powder spring,  
And light from darkness once more issuing.  
See flames like those belched forth from Aetna's Maw,  
Such flames as no Fleece-stealing jason saw.  
Hecuba's child of fire in dreams begot,  
Was not like that from murdering Canons shot.  
If yet thou'lt stay, hear thunders mixed with flame,  
Such as near yet from Cyclops Anvil came.  
Hark how the loud gun shakes the trembling sky,  
whilst threatening Balls in showers of murder fly.  
Sicilian Bull did not so loudly roar;  
Nor was the sword more dreadful which hung o'er  
Damocles neck from guilt roof. Then, away,  
And to such dangers, Sleep, don't me betray.   

58. To his Fellow sentines.  
ANd you, Comrades, with me this night endure;  
Let our cause make us bold, Courage secure.  
Le's with stout minds our present dangers meet;  
And let our stations from their toils grow sweet.  
Stations where soldiers are made brothers. Night●…  
In wine, and Revels spent make winged flights;  
A coy whore is with patience watched for, yet  
No honour's gained; glory with dangers met  
Here doth attend us; toils are paid with praise.  
Let's wove us Crowns, then, of immortal Bays.  
To Heaven our souls, to Earth let's flesh assign,  
But in our minds let loyal honour shine.   

59 In Comaedam celeberrimam Cinthiam dictam ad in stantiam alterius f●…cit.  

SIc vaga formosas superabat Cynthia Nymphas  
Ut tu nunc socias Cinthia dicta tuas.  
Quae tibi Majestas vultus, que gratia frontis!  
Spiritus ut major quam muliebris inest?  
Tam bene compositum suavis decet actio corpus  
Ut posset credi singula membra loqui.  
cum velis esse Venus, vel cum velis esse Diana  
Tam sunilis non est ipsa vel ipsa sibi,  
Si velis esse Diana hos ô non desere saltus,  
Haec nemus haec fontem florida scena dabit.  
O si te nudam semel hoc in fonte viderem  
Cornua tunc essent paenaque grata canes.  
Si Luna esse velis fiat tibi sphaera theatrum,  
Pascantur radiis Lumina nostra tuis.  
Sed raro hinc abeas, & cum discedere velles  
O si te possent Lumina nostra sequi;  
Aut tua cum desit foelix praesentia nobis  
Impressis liceat viribus usque srui.   

Idem Anglicè versum.  
AS wand'ring Cynthia all her Nymphs excels,  
So dost thou all thy fellows; In thee dwells  
Majesty mixed with loveliness, a spirit  
That's more than womanish; thy grace's merit,  
And force a liking, as the lights above;  
The Earth's light vapours upwards force and move:  
Thy action doth each passion so well fit,  
As if each limb did help to utter it:  
If thou wilt Venus or Diana be,  
Neither will be so like herself as thee.  
〈◊〉 thou be Diana, haunt these fields,  
〈◊〉 both woods and fountains yields.  
That I could see thee here but wash thy snow,  
Acteon's fate Ide joy to undergo.  
Wilt thou be th' Moon, then make thy sphere this stage;  
But it were pity thou shouldst change thy age;  
And if from our Horizon thou shouldst go,  
Still to view thee we'd change Horizon too;  
But that we may when thou art gone from hence,  
Still be made happy by thy influence.   

On one particular passage of her action, when she was to be stripped of her clothes by Fulvio, but not without much resistance. Videns excogitavit.  
AS Fulvio Cinthia's glory would eclipse,  
And graced by her limbs, her robe off strips;  
To see her how she strove, and prayed, and cried,  
But for the plays sake none could have denied.  
And as she strove with him, so modesty  
Did strive with anger for the mastery.  
How was she pale with anger, red with shame!  
Her colour changed, with choler went and came,  
As when the winking moon strives with a cloud,  
Whose glory darkness doth by fits enshroude:  
was it nor envy, that we might not see  
That which from th' smock could scarce discerned be;  
Or wast for shamefacedness: yes, yes, 'twas so,  
That too much hiding of her face did show.  
So looked the Nymph which jupiter beguiled  
I'th' water with Diana got with child;  
So Salmacis half ravished in the brook,  
As she almost stripped to her smock did look.  
The Poet was too sparing, had she been  
Like entrapped Venus naked to have been seen;  
And with a net unhid been covered;  
How on her limbs our hungry eyes had fed,  
And dwelled on her seen members, whilst the rest  
Had by proportion easily been guest:  
But pity 'twere that she enjoined had been  
So hard a penance, guilty of no sin.    
Finis.   

IGNATIUS HIS CONCLAVE: OR, His Inthronisation in a late Election in HELL.  
Wherein many Things are mingled by way of satire.  

Concerning  
The disposition of Jesuits.  
The Creation of a new Hell.  
The establishing of a Church in the Moon.   
There is also added an Apology for JESUITS.  
All dedicated to the Two adversary Angels, which are Protectors of the Papal Consistory, and of the College of SORBON.  
By JOHN DONNE, Doctor of Divinity, and late Dean of Saint Paul's.  
Printed at London, 1653.   

To the two tutelar Angels, Protectors of the Pope's Consistory, and of the College OF SORBON.  
MOst noble couple of Angels, lest it should be said that you did never agree, and never meet, but that you did ever abhor one another, and ever 
Resemble Janus with a divers face;  I attempted to bring and join you together once in these papers not that I might compose your differences, for you have not choson me for Arbi●…or; but, that you might beware of an enemy common to you both, I will relate what I saw. I was in an Ecstasy, and 
My little wand'ring sportful Soul,  
Guest, and companion of my body,  had liberty to wander through all places, and to survey and reckon all the rooms, and all the volumes of the heavens, and to comprehend the situation, the dimensions, the nature, the people & the policy, both of the swimming Lands, the Planets, and of all those which are fixed in the Firmament. Of which, I think it an honester part as yet to be silent, then to do Galileo wrong by speaking of it, who of late hath summoned 
Nuncius ●…ydereus.  the other worlds, the Stars to come nearer to him, and give him an account of themselves, Or to Keppler, who (as himself testifies of himself) ever since Tycho Braches death, hath received it into 
De stella 〈◊〉 Cygno.  his care, that no new thing should be done in heaven without his knowledge. For by the law, Prevention must take place; and therefore what they have found and discovered first, I am content they speak and utter first. Yet this they may vouchsafe to take from me, that they shall hardly find Enoch, or Elias any where in their circuit. When I had surveied all the heavens, then as 
The Lark by busy and laborious ways,  
Having climbed up th'ethereal hill, doth raise  
His Hymns to Phoebus' Harp: And striking then  
His sails, his wings, doth fall down back again,  
So suddenly, that one may safely say,  
A stone came lazily that came that Way,  In the twinkling of an eye, I saw all the rooms in Hell open to my sight. And by the benefit of certain spectacles, I know not of what making, but I think, of the same, by which Gregory the great and Beda did discern so distinctly the souls of their friends, when they were discharged from their bodies and sometimes the souls of such men as they knew not by sight, and of some that were never in the world, and yet they could distinguish them flying into Heaven, or conversing with living men. I saw all the channels in the bowels of the Earth; and all the inhabitants of all nations, and of all ages were suddenly made familiar to me. I think truly, Robert Aquinas when he 
Paleotus de Sindone cap. 6.  took Christ's long Oration, as he hung upon the Cross, did use some such Instrument as this, but applied to the ear: And so I 
josephina di Gieron Gratian.  think did he, which dedicated to Adrian 6. that Sermon which Christ made in praise of his Father joseph: for else how did they hear that, which none but they ever heard? As for the Suburbs of Hell (I mean both Limbo and Purgatory) I must confess I passed them over so negligently, that I saw them not: and I was hungerly carried, to find new places, never discovered before. For Purgatory did not seem worthy to me of much diligence, because it may seem already to have been believed by some persons, in some corners of the Roman Church for about 50 years; that is ever since the Council of Trent had a mind to fulfil the prophecies of Homer, Virgil, and the other Patriarches of the Papists, and being not satisfied with making one Transubstantiation, purposed to bring in another: which is, to change Fables into Articles of Faith. Proceeding therefore to more inward places, I saw a secret place, where there were not many, beside Lucifer himself; to which, only they had title, which had so attempted any innovation in this life, that they gave an affront to all Antiquity, and induced doubts, and anxieties, and scruples, and after a liberty of believing what they would, at length established opinions, directly contrary to all established before. Of which place in Hell, 
Theod: Ni 'em: nemus unio, Tra. 6. cap. 29.  Lucifer afforded us heretofore some little knowledge, when more than 200. years since, in an Epistle written to the Cardinal S. Sexti, he promised him a room in his palace, in the remotest part of his eternal Chaos, which I take to be this place. And here Pope Boniface 3. and Mahomet, seemed to contend about the highest room. He gloried of having expelled an old Religion, and Mahomet of having brought in a new; each of them a great deluge to the world. But it is to be feared, that Mahomet will fail therein, both because he attributed something to the old Testament, and because he used Sergius as his fellow-Bishop, in making the Alcoran; whereas it was evident to the supreme Judge Lucifer, (for how could he be ignorant of that which himself had put into the Pope's mind?) that Boniface had not only neglected, but destroyed the policy of the State of Israel, established in the old Testament, when he prepared Popes a way, to tread upon the necks of Princes, but that he also abstained from all Example and Coadjutor, when he took upon him that new name, which Gregory himself (a Pope neither very foolish, nor overmodest) ever abhorred. Besides that every day affords new Advocates to Boniface his side. For since the Franciscans were almost worn out (of whom their General Francis, 
Sedulius Apolog. pro libro Con form. l. 2. cap. 2.  had seen 6000, Soldiers in one army, that is, in one Chapter) which, because they were then but fresh Soldiers, he saw assisted with 18000 Devils; the jesuits have much recompensed those decays and damages, who sometimes have maintained in 
Harlay defence des jesuits'.  their Tents, 200000 Scholars. For though the Order of Benedict have ever been so fruitful, that they say of it, That all the new Orders, 
Vollader: deCanoniza Fran cis Ro. in Epist.  which in latter times have broken out, are but little springs, or drops, and that Order the Ocean, which hath sent out 52 Popes, 200 Cardinals, 1600 Archbishops, 4000 Bishops, and 5000 Saints, approved by the Church, and therefore it cannot be denied, but that Boniface his part is much relieved by that Order; yet if they be compared to the jesuits, or to the weak and unperfect types of them, the Franciscans, it is no great matter that they have done. Though therefore they esteem Mahomet worthy of the name of an Innovator, and therein perchance not much inferior to Boniface, yet since his time, to ours, almost all which have followed his S●…t, have lived barren in an 〈◊〉 and idle concord, and cannot boast that they have produced any new matter: whereas Boniface his Successors awakened by him, have ever been fruitful in bringing forth new sins, and new pardons, and Idolatries, and King-killings. Though therefore it may religiously, and piously be believed, that Turks as well as Papists, come daily in Troops to the ordinary and common places of Hell; yet certainly to this more honourable room reserved for especial Innovators, the Papists have more frequent access; and therefore Mahomet is out of hope to prevail, and must imitate the Christian Emperors, and be content to sit (as yet he doth) at the Pope's feet. Now to this place not only such endeavour to come, as have Innovated in matters directly concerning the soul, but they also which have done so, either in the Arts, or in conversation, or in any thing which exerciseth the faculties of the Soul, and may so provoke to quarrelsome and brawling controversies, for so the truth be lost, it is no no matter how. But the gates are seldom opened, nor scarce oft●… then once in an age. But my destiny favoured me so much, that I was present then, and saw all the pretenders, and all that affected an entrance, and Lucifer himself, who then came out into the outward chamber, to hear them plead their own Causes. As soon as the door creekt, I spied a certain Mathematician, which till then had been busted to find, to deride, to detrude Ptolomey; and now with an erect countenance, and settled pace, came to the gates, and with hands and feet, (scarce respecting Lucifer himself) beat the doors and cried; Are these shut against me, to whom all the Heavens were ever open, who was a Soul to the Earth, and gave it motion?  
By this I knew it was Copernicus: For though I had never heard ill of his life, and therefore might wonder to find him there; yet when I remembered that the Papists have extended the name and punishment of Heresy, almost to every thing, and that as yet I used Gregory's and Bedes 
Bellar. de Purgat. lib. 2. c. 8.  spectacles, by which one saw Origen, who deserved so well of the Christian Church, burning in hell, I doubted no longer, but assured myself that it was Copernicus which I saw, to whom Lucifer said, Who are you? For though even by this boldness you seem worthy to enter, and have attempted a new faction even in Hell, yet you must first satisfy those which stand about you, and which expect the same fortune as you do. Except, O Lucifer, answered Copernicus, I thought thee of the Race of the Star Lucifer, with which I am so well acquainted, I should not vouchsafe thee this discourse. I am he, which pitying thee who wert thrust into the centre of the world, raised both thee and thy prison, the Earth, up into the Heavens; so as by my means, God doth not enjoy his revenge upon thee. The Sun, which was an officious Spy, and a betrayer of faults and so thy enemy, I have appointed to go into the lowest part of the world. Shall these Gates open to such as have Innovated in small matters, and shall they be shut against me, who have turned the whole frame of the world, and am thereby almost a new Creator. More than this he spoke not. Lucifer stuck in a meditation. For what should he do? It seemed unjust to deny entry to him which had deserved so well, and dangerous to grant it to one of so great ambitions, and undertake: Nor did he think that himself had attempted greater matters before his fall. Something he had which he might have conveniently opposed, but he was loath to utter it, lest he should confess his fear. But Ignatius Loyola which was got near his chair, a subtle fellow, and so endued with the Devil, that he was able to tempt, and not only that, but (as they say) even to possess the Devil, apprehended this perplexity in Lucifer. And making himself sure of his own entrance, and knowing well, that many thousands of his family aspired to that place, he opposeth himself against all others. He was content they should be damned, but not that they should govern. And though when he died he was utterly ignorant in all great learning, and knew not so much as Ptolemies or Copernicus' name, but might have been persuaded that the words Almagest, Zenith, and Nadir, were Saints names, and fit to be put into the Litany, and Ora pro nobis joined to them; yet after he had spent some time in hell, he had learned somewhat of his jesuits, which daily came thither. And whilst he stayed at the threshold of Hell, that is, from the time when he delivered himself over to the Pope's will, he took a little taste of learning. Thus furnished, thus he undertakes Copernicus. Do you think to win our Lucifer to your part, by allowing him the honour of being of the Race of that Star? who was not only made before all the Stars, but being glutted with the glory of shining there, transferred his dwelling and Colonies unto this Monarchy, and thereby gave our Order a noble example, to spy, to invade, and to possess foreign Kingdoms. Can our Lucifer or his followers have any honour from that Star Lucifer, which is but Ve●…us? Whose face how much we scorn, appears by this, that for the most part we use her aversly and preposterously. Rather let our Lucifer glory in Lucifer the Calaritan Bishop; not therefore because he is placed amongst Heretics, only for affirming the propagation of 
August de Haer. c. 81  the soul; but especially for this, that he was the first that opposed the dignity of Princes, and imprinted the names of Antichrist, judas, and other stigmatic marks upon the Emperor; But for you, what new thing have you invented, by which our Lucifer gets any thing? What cares he whether the earth travel, or stand still? Hath your raising up of the earth into heaven, brought men to that confidence, that they build new towers or threaten God again? Or do they out of this motion of the earth conclude, that there is no hell, or deny the punishment of sin? Do not men believe? do they not live just as they did before? Besides, this detracts from the dignity of your learning, and derogates from your right and title of coming to this place, that those opinions of yours, may very well be true. If therefore any man have honour or title to this place in this matter, it belongs wholly to our Clavins, who opposed himself opportunely against you, and the truth, which at that time was creeping into every man's mind. He only can be called the Author of all contentions, and School-combates in this cause; and no greater profit can be hoped for here in, but that for such brabbles, more necessary matters be neglected. And yet not only for this is our Clavius to be honoured, but for the great pains also which he took in the Gregorian Calendar, by which both the peace of the Church, and civil businesses have been egregiously troubled: nor hath heaven itself escaped his violence, but hath ever since obeyed his appointments: so that S. Steven, john Baptist, and all the 
Harlay. defence does Jesuits mesdi. 6.  rest, which have been commanded to work miracles at certain appointed days, where their relics are preserved, do not now attend till the day come, as they were accustomed, but are awaked ten days sooner, and constrained by him to come down from heaven to do that business. But your inventions can scarce be called yours, since before you, Heraclides, Ecphantus, and Aristarchus thrust them into the world: who notwithstanding content themselves with lower rooms amongst the other Philosophers, and aspire not to this place, reserved only for Antichristian Heroes: neither do you agree so well amongst yourselves, as that you can be said to have made a Sect, since, as you have perverted and changed the order and Scheme of others: so Tycho Brachy hath done by yours, and others by his. Let therefore this little Mathematician (dread Emperor) withdraw himself to his own come pany. And if hereafter the Fathers of our Order can draw a Cathedral Decree from the Pope, by which it may be defined as a matter of Faith, That the earth doth not move; and an Anathema inflicted upon all which hold the contrary: then perchance both the Pope which shall decree that, and Copernicus his followers (if they be Papists) may have the dignity of this place. Lucifer signified his assent: and Copernicus without muttering a word, was as quiet as he thinks the Sun: when he which stood next him, entered into his place. To whom Lucifer said: And who are you? He answered, Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Paracelsus Bombast of Hohenheim. At this Lucifer trembled, as if it were a new Exorcîsme, and he thought it might well be the first verse of S. john, which is always employed in Exorcisms, and might now be taken out of the Welsh or Irish Bibles. But when he understood that it was but the web of his name, he recollected himself, and raising himself upright, asked was he had to say to the great Emperor Satan, Lucifer, Belzebub, Leviathan, Abaddon. Paracelsus replied, It were an injury to thee, O glorious Emperor, if I should deliver before thee what I have done, as though all those things had not proceeded from thee, which seemed to have been done by me, thy organ and conduit; yet since I shall rather be thy trumpet herein then mine own, some things may be uttered by me. Besides therefore that I brought all Methodical Physicians and the Art itself into so much contempt, that that kind of Physic is almost lost; this also was ever my principal purpose, that no certain new Art, nor fixed rules might be established, but that all remedies might be dangerously drawn from my uncertain, ragged, and unperfect experiments, in trial whereof how many men have been made carcases? And falling upon those times which did abound with paradoxical and unusual diseases, of all which, the pox, which then began to rage, was almost the centre and sink: I ever professed an assured and an easy cure thereof, lest I should deter any from their licentiousness. And whereas almost all poisons are so disposed and conditioned by nature, that they offend some of the senses, and so are easily discerned and avoided, I brought it to pass, that that treacherous quality of theirs might be removed and so they might safely be given without suspicion, and yet perform their office as strongly. All this I must confess I wrought by thy minerals and by thy fires, but yet I cannot despair of my reward, because I was thy first minister and instrument in these innovations. By this time Ignatius had observed a tempest risen in Lucifer's countenance: for he was just of the same temper as Lucifer, and therefore suffered with him in every thing, and felt all his alterations. That therefore he might deliver him from Paracelsus, he said; You must not think sir, that you may here draw out an Oration to the proportion of your name. It must be confessed that you attempted great matters, and well becoming a great officer of Lucifer, when you undertook not only to make a man in your Alimbecks, but also to preserve him immortal. And it cannot be doubted, but that out of your Commentaries upon the Scriptures, in which you were utterly ignorant, many men have taken occasion of erring, and thereby this kingdom much indebted to you. But must you therefore have access to this secret place? What have you compassed even in Physic it self, of which we jesuits are ignorant? For though our Ribadenegra have reckoned none of our Order, which hath written in ●…ysick, yet how able and sufficient we are in that faculty, I will be tried by that Pope who hath given a privilege 
Bulla 18 in Gre●… cont. 〈◊〉 a 〈◊〉 ovius de Majest. E●…s. milic. c. 7  to jesuits to practise Physic and to be present at Deaths-bed, (a) which is denied to other Orders: for why should he deny us their bodies, whose souls he delivered to us? and since he hath transferred upon us the power to practise Physic, he may justly be thought to have transferred upon us the art itself by the same Omnipotent Bull; since he which grants the end, is by our Rules of Law presumed to have granted all means necessary to that end. Let me (dread Emperor) have leave to speak truth before thee; These men abuse and profane too much thy metals, which are the bowels and treasure of thy Kingdom: For what doth Physic profit thee? Physic is a soft and womanish thing. For since no medicine doth naturally 
Mosnes. Theor. 1 cap. 2.  draw blood, that science is not fit nor worthy of our study. Besides, why should those things which belong to you, be employed to preserve from diseases, or to procure long life? were it not fitter that your Brother and Colleague, the Bishop of Rome, which governs upon the face of your earth, and gives daily increase to your Kingdom, should receive from you these helps and subsidies? To him belongs all the gold, to him all the precious stones, concealed in your entrails, whereby he might bait & ensnare the Princes of the earth, through their Lords and Counsellors means, to his obedience, and to receive his commandments, especially in these times, when almost every where his ancient rights and tributes are denied unto him. To him belongs your Iron, and the ignobler metals, to make engines; To him belongs your Minerals apt for poison; To him the Saltpetre, and all the Elements of Gunpowder, by which he may demolish and overthrow Kings and Kingdoms, and Courts, and seats of Justice. Neither doth Paracelsus truly deserve the name of an Innovator, whose doctrine Severi●…us and his other followers do refer to the most ancient times. Think therefore yourself well satisfied, if you be admitted to govern in chief that Legion of Homicide Physicians, and of Princes which shall be made away by poison in the midst of their sins, and of women tempting by paintings and face-Physick. Of all which sorts great numbers will daily come hither out of your Academy.  
Content with this sentence, Paracelsus departed; and Machiavelli succeeded, who having observed Ignatius his forwardness, and sauciness, and how, uncald, he had thrust himself into the office of Kings-Attorney, thought this stupid patience of Copernicus and Paracelsus, (men which tasted too much of their Germany) unfit for a Florentine: and therefore had provided some venomous darts, out of his Italian Arsenal, to cast against this worn soldier of Pampelune, this French-Spanish mongrel, Ignatius. But when he thought better upon it, and observed that Lucifer ever approved whatsoever Ignatius said, he suddenly changed his purpose; and putting on another resolution, he determined to direct his speech to Ignatius, as to the principal person next to Lucifer, as well by this means to sweeten and mollify him, as to make Lucifer suspect, that by these honours and specious titles offered to Ignatius and entertained by him, his own dignity might be eclipsed or clouded; and that Ignatius by winning to his side politic men, exercised in civil businesses, might attempt some innovation in that Kingdom. Thus therefore he began to speak. Dread Emperor, and you, his watchful and diligent Genius, father Ignatius, Arch-Chancellor of this Court, and highest Priest of this highest Synagogue (except the primacy of the Roman Church reach also unto this place) let me before I descend to myself, a little consider, speak, and admire your stupendious wisdom, and the Government of this state. You may vouchsafe to remember great Emperor) how long after the nazarenes death, you were forced to live a solitary, a barren, and an Eremitical life, till at last, as it was ever your fashion to imitate Heaven) out of your abundant love, you begot this dearly beloved son of yours, Ignatius, which stands at your right hand. And from both of you proceeds a spirit, whom you have sent into the world, who triumphing both with Mitre and Crown, governs your Militant Church there. As for those sons of Ignatius, whom either he left alive, or were born after his death, and your spirit, the Bishop of Rome, how justly and properly may they be called equivocal men? And not only equivocal in that sense, in which the Pope's Legates, at your Nicene Council were called Equivocal, because they did agree in all their opinions, and in all their words: but especially because they have brought into the world a new art of Equivocation. O wonderful and incredible Hypercritiques, who not out of marble fragments, but out of the secretest Records of Hell itself, that is, out of the minds of Lucifer, the Pope and Ignatius, (persons truly equivocal) have raised to life again the language of the Tower of Babel so long concealed, and brought us again from understanding one another. For my part (O noble pair of Emperors) that I may freely confess the truth, all which I have done, wheresoever there shall be mention made of the Jesuits, can be reputed but childish, for this honour I hope will not be denied me, that I brought in an Alphabet, and provided certain elements, and was some kind of Schoolmaster in preparing them a way to higher undertake; yet it grieves me and makes me ashamed that I should be ranked with this idle and Chymaericall Copernicus, or this cadaverous vulture, Paracelsus. I scorn that those gates into which such men could conceive any hope of entrance, should not voluntarily fly open to me: yet I can better endure the rashness and fellowship of Paracelsus then the other: because he having been conveniently practised in the butcheries and mangling of men, he had the reason to hope for favour of the Jesuits: For I myself went always that way of blood, and therefore I did ever prefer the sacrifices of the Gentiles and of the jews, which were perfor med with effusion of blood (whereby not only the people but the Priests also were animated to bold enterprises) before the soft and wanton sacrifices of Christians. If I might have had my choice, I should rather have wished that the Roman Church had taken the Bread than the Wine from the people, since in the wine there is some colour to imagine and represent blood. Neither did you (most reverend Bishop of this diocese Ignatius) abhor from this way of blood. For having consecrated your first age to the wars, and grown, somewhat unable to follow that course by reason of a wound; you did presently begin to think seriously of a spiritual war against the Church and found means to open ways even into King's chambers, for your executioners. Which dignity you did not reserve only to your own Order, but (though I must confess, that the foundation, and the nourishment of this doctrine remains with you, and is peculiar to you, out of your infinite liberality,) you have vouchsafed sometime, to use the hands of other men in these employments. And therefore as well they, who have so often in vain attempted it in England, as they which have brought their great purposes to effect in France, are indebted only to you for their courage and resolution. But yet although the entrance into this place may be decreed to none, but to Innovators, and to only such of them as have dealt in Christian business, and of them also, to those only which have had the fortune to do much harm; I cannot see but that next to the jesuits, I must be invited to enter, since I did not only teach those ways by which, through perfidiousness and dissembling of Religion, a man might possess and usurp upon the liberty of free Commonwealths; but also did arm and furnish the people with my instructions, how when they were under this oppression, they might safeliest conspire, and remove a tyrant, or revenge themselves of their Prince and redeem their former losses; so that from both sides, both from Prince and people, I brought an abundant harvest, and a noble increase to this kingdom. By this time I perceived Lucifer to be much moved with this Oration, and to incline much towards Machiavelli; For he did acknowledge him to be a kind of Patriarch, of those whom they call Laymen. And he had long observed, that the Clergy of Rome tumbled down to Hell daily, easily, voluntarily, and by troops, because they were accustomed to sin against their conscience, and knowledge; but that the Laity sinning out of a slothfulness, and negligence of finding the truth, did rather offend by ignorance and omission. And therefore he thought himself bound to reward Machiavelli, which had awakened this drowsy and implicit Laity to greater, and more bloody Undertake. Besides this, since Ignatius could not be denied the place, whose ambitions and turbulencies Lucifer understood very well, he thought Machiavelli a fit and necessary Instrument to oppose against him; that so the scales being kept even by their factions, he might govern in peace, and two poisons mingled might do no harm. But he could not hide this intention from Ignatius, more subtle than the Devil and the verier Lucifer of the two: Therefore Ignatius rushed out, threw himself down at Lucifer's feet, and grovelling on the ground adored him. Yet certainly, Vasques would not call this idolatry, because in the shape of the Devil he worshipped him, whom he accounted the true God. Here Ignatius cried, and thundered out, 
With so great noise and horror,  
That had that powder taken fire, by which  
All the Isle of Britain had flown to the Moon,  
It had not equalled this noise and horror.  And when he was able to speak distinctly, thus he spoke; It cannot be said (unspeakable Emperor) how much this obscure Florentine hath transgressed against thee, and against the Pope thy image-bearer, (whether the word be accepted, as 
Imaginarium.  Gratian takes it when he calls the Scriptures; Imaginary Books or as they take it, which give 
21 q. Omnis jactura.  that stile to them who carry the Emperor's Image in the field;) and last of all against our 
Modest. in verb. Milite  Order. Durst any man before him; think upon this kind of injury, and calumny, as to hope that he should be able to flatter, to catch, to entrap Lucifer himself? Certainly, whosoever flatters any man, and presents him those praises, which in his own opinion are not due to him, thinks him inferior to himself, and makes account that he hath taken him prisoner, and triumphs over him. Who ever flatters, either he derides, or (at the best) instructs. For there may be, even in flattery, an honest kind of teaching, if Princes by being told that they are already endued with all virtues necessary for their functions, be thereby taught what those virtues are, and by a facile exhortation, excited to endeavour to gain them. But was it fit that this fellow, should dare either to deride you, or (which is the greater injury) to teach you? Can it be believed, that he delivers your praises from his heart, and and doth not rather herein follow Gratian'ss levity; who says: That you are called Prince of the 
32. q. 2. Pudor.  world, as a king at Chests, or as the Cardinal of Ravenna, only by derision? This man, whilst he lived, attributed so much to his own wit, that he never thought himself beholden to your helps, and insinuations; and was so far from invoking you, or sacrificing to you, that he did not so much as acknowledge your kingdom nor believe that there was any such thing in Nature as you. I must confess that he had the same opinion of God also; therefore deserves a place here, and a better than any of the Pagan or Gentile Idolaters: For in every Idolatry and false worship there is some Religion, and some perverse simplicity, which tastes of humility; from all which this man was very free when in his heart he utterly denied that there was any God. Yet since he thought so in earnest, and believed that those things which he affirmed were true, he must not be ranked with them; which having been sufficiently instructed of the true God, and believing him to be so, do yet fight against him in his enemy's Army. Neither ought it to be imputed to us as a fault, that sometimes in our Exorcisms we we speak ill of you, and call you Heretic and Drunkard, and 
Flagel. Daemon. Menghi.  Whisperer, and scabbed Beast, and conjure the elements that they should not receive you, and threaten you with indissoluble damnation, and torments a thousand thousand times worse than you suffer yet. For these things you know are done out of a secret covenant and contract between us, and out of mysteries which must not be opened to this Neophyte, who in our Synagogue is yet but amongst the Catechumeni. Which also we acknowledge of Holy Water, and our Agnus Dei, of which you do so wisely dissemble a fear, when they are presented to you: For certainly if there were any true force in them, To deliver Bodies from Diseases, Souls from Sins, and the Elements from Spirits, and malignant Impressions, (as in the verses which Urban the fifth sent with his Agnus Dei to the Emperor it is pretended) it 
Summa Bullarii, verbo Agnus Dei.  had been reason that they should first have exercised their force upon those verses, and so have purged and delivered them, if not from Heresy, yet from Barbarousness and Solecisms; that Heretics might not justly say, There was no truth in any of them but only the last; which is, 
That the least piece which thence doth fall,  
Will do one as much good as all.  And though our Order have adventured further in Exorcisms then the rest, yet that must be attributed to a special privilege, by which we have leave to question any possessed persons of what matters we will; whereas all other Orders are miserably bound to the present matter, and the business then in hand. For though I do not believe, that either from yourself, or from your Vicar the Pope, any such privilege is issued; yet our Cotton deserves to be praised, who being questioned, how he durst propose certain seditious Interrogatories to a possessed person, to deliver himself, feigned such a privilege; and with an un-heard-of boldness, and a new kind of falsifying, did (in a manner) sergeant Lucifer's hand and seal, since none but he only could give this privilege: But if you consider us out of this liberty in Exorcisms, how humble and servile we are towards you, the Relations of Peru testify enough, where it is recorded, that when one of your angels at midnight appeared to our Barcena alone in his Chamber, 
Litera di Diego Torres.  he presently rose out of his chair, and gave him the place, whom he professed to be far worthier thereof than he was. But to proceed now to the injuries which this fellow hath done to the Bishop of Rome, although very much might be spoken, yet by this alone, his disposition may be sufficiently discerned, that he imputes to the Pope, vulgar and popular sins, far unworthy of his greatness. Weak praising is a kind of accusing, and we detract from a man's honour, if when we praise him for small things, and would seem to have said all, we conceal greater. Perchance this man had seen some of the Catalogues of Reserved Cases, which every year the Pope's increase, and he might think, that the Popes did therefore reserve these sins to themselves, that they only might commit them. But either he is ignorant or injurious to them. For can they be thought to have taken away the liberty of sinning from the people, who do not only suffer men to keep Concubines, but sometimes do command them? who make 
Dist. 32. qui.  St. Peter beholden to the Stews for part of his Revenue: and who excuse women from the infamous name of Whore, till they have delivered themselves over to 23000 men. The Professors 
Ibid. Vidua. Scappus de jure non script- l. 1. c. 54.  of which Religion teach, That University Men which keep Whores in their chambers, may not be expelled for that, because it ought to be presumed before hand, that Scholars will not live without them. Shall he be thought to have a purpose of deterring others from sin, which provides so well for their security, that he teaches, that he may dispense in all the Commandments 
Sum. Angel. verb. Papa, N: 1  of the second Table, and in all Moral Law; and that those Commandments of the second Table can neither be called Principles nor Conclusions, necessarily deduced from Principles? And therefore (as they ever love that manner of teaching) he did illustrate his Rule with an example, and dispensed in a marriage between Brother and Sister, and hath hoarded up so many In dulgencies in one Barn, the City of Rome, that it is easy for any man in an hour or two, to draw out pardons enough for 100000 years. How clear a witness of this liberality is Leo the tenth? who only for rehearsing once the Lord's Prayer, and thrice repeating the name of jesus (be it spoken here without horror) hath given three thousand years' Indulgence. How profuse a Steward or Auditor was Boniface, who acknowledges so many Indulgences to be in that one Church of Lateran, that none but God can number them? Besides these plenary Indulgences are given not only to the Franciscans themselves, but to their parents also, and to any which dies in their habit; and to any which desire that they may do so: and to those who are wrapped in it after death, though they did not desire it; and five years' Indulgence to those who do but kiss it. And at last, Clement the seventh by a privilege first given to one Order (which since is communicated to our Order, as the privilege of all other Orders are) gave to any who should but visit a place belonging to them, or any other place if he could not come thither, or if he could come to no such place, yet if he had but a desire to it, All Indulgences which had been granted, or hereafter should be granted in the universal world. And though it be true, that if in any of these Indulgences a certain sum of money were limited to be given (as for the most part it is) a poor man who could not give that money though he were never so contrite for his sins, could have no benefit thereby: and though Gerson durst call those Indulgences foolish and superstitious, which gave twenty thousand years pardon for rehearsing one prayer, yet they do abundantly testify the Pope's liberal disposition, and that he is not so covetous in reserving sins to himself; but if perchance once in an hundred years, some one of the scum of the people be put to death for Sodomy; and that not so much for the offence, as for usurping the right of the Ecclesia stick Princes, we must not much lament nor grudge at that, since it is only done to discontinue and interrupt a prescription, to gain which Title the Laity hath ever been very forward against the Clergy: for even in this kind of his delicacies, the Pope is not so reserved and covetous, but that he allows a taste thereof to his Cardinals, whom whom you once called Carpidineros (by an elegancy proper 
Money-takers.  only to your Secretaries the Monks) in an Epistle which 
Theol. Niem. nemus unio Tract 6. c. 29.  you writ to one of that College: for since the Cardinals are so compacted into the Pope, and so made his own body, That it is not lawful for them without 
Rod: Cupers de Eccles: univers: fol. 4.  licence first obtained from him, to be let blood in a Fever, what may be denied unto them? or what kind of sin is likely to be left out of their glorious privileges. which are at least two hundred? Which Order the Pope can 
Azor: par: 2. l. 4. c: 1. Moscontus de Maj. Eccl. Mil: c: 5. ibid. Idem c: 6.  no more remove out of the Ecclesiastic Hirarchy, than he can Bishops; both because Cardinals were instituted by God, and because the Apostles themselves were Cardinals before they were Bishops. Whom also in their creation he styles his brothers, & Princes 
Scappus de jure non scrip: l: 1. c: 25.  of the world, and co-judges of the whole earth, and to perfect all, That there are so many Kings as there are Cardinals. O fearful body; and as in many other things, so in this especially monstrous, that they are not able to propagate their species: For 
Azor: ubi supra.  all the Cardinals in a vacancy are not able to make one Cardinal more. To these men certainly the Pope doth no more grudge the plurality of sins, than he doth of Benefices. And he hath been content, that even Borgia should enjoy, this dignity, if he hath heaped up by his ingenius wickedness, more sorts of sins in one Act, than (as far as I know) as any the Popes themselves have attempted: For he did not only give the full rain to his licentiousness, but raging with a second ambition, he would also change the sek. Therein also his stomach was not towards young, beardless boys, nor such green fruit: for he did not think, that he went far enough from the right Sex, except he had a manly, a reverend, and a bearded Venus. Neither stayed he there; but his witty lust proceeded further: yet he solicited not the Minions of the Popes, but striving to equal the licentiousness of Sodomites which would have had the Angels; to come as near them as he could, he took a Cleargy-man, one of the portion and lot of the Lord; and so made the maker of God, a Priest subject to his lust; nor did he seek him out in a Cloister, or Choir; but that his Venus might be the more monstrous, he would have her in a Mitre. And yet his prodigious lust was not at the height; as much as he could he added: and having found a Man a Clergy man, a Bishop, he did not solicit him with entreaties, and rewards, but ravished him by force. Since then the Popes do out of the fullness of their power, come to those kinds of sin, which have neither Example nor Name, insomuch that Pope Paulus Venetus which used 
Plat: in vit: Adr. I.  to paint himself, and desired to seem a woman, was called the Goddess Cibele, which was not without mystery, since, prostitute boys are sacred to that Goddess) and since they do not grant ordinarily that liberty of practising sins, till they have used their own right and privilege of Prevention and Anticipation; This prattling fellow Machiavelli, doth but treacherously, and dishonestly prevaricate, and betray the cause, if he think he hath done enough for the dignity of the Popes, when he hath afforded to them, sins common to all the world. The transferring of Empires, the ruin of Kingdoms, the Excommunications, and depositions of Kings, and devastations by fire and sword, should have been produced as their marks & characters: for though the examples of the Pope's transferring the Empire, which our men so much stand upon, be not indeed true, nor that the ancient Popes practised any such thing; yet since the Statesmen of our Order, wiser than the rest have found how much this Temporal jurisdiction over Princes, conduces to the growth of the Church, they have persuaded the Popes, that this is not only lawful for them, but often practised heretofore: And therefore they provide that the Canons, 
Apologia pro Garnete.  and Histories be detorted to that opinion: for though one of our Orders do weaken that famous Canon, Nos Sanctorum, which was used still to be produced for this doctrine, yet he did it then when the King of Great Britain was to be mollified and sweetened towards us, and the Laws to be mitigated, and when himself had put on the name Eudaemon. But let him return to his true state, and profess himself a Cacodaemon, and he will be of our opinion. In which respect also we may pardon our Cudsemius his rashness, when he denies the English Nation 
De desperata Calv: causa, c. 11  to be heretics, because they remain in a perpetual succession of Bishops: For herein these men have thought it fit to follow in their practice, that translation which reads the words of Paul; Serve the time, and not that which says; Serve the Lord. 
Rome 12. 11  As for the injury which this petty companion hath offered to our Order, since in our wrongs both yours and the Pope's Majesty is wounded, since to us as to your Dictator's, both you have given that large and anti●…ent Commission, that we should take care that the state take no harm, we cannot doubt of our revenge: yet this above all the rest, doth especially ve●… me, that that when he calls me Prelate and Bishop (names which we so much abhor and detest) I know well that out of his inward malignity he hath a relation to Bellarmine's, and Tolets Sacrilegious Vow-breaking ambitions, by which they embraced the Cardinalship, and other Church dignities: but herein this poor fellow unacquainted with our affairs, is deceived, being ignorant that these men by this act of being thus incorporated into the Pope, are so much the nearer to their Centre and final happiness, this chamber of Lucifer, and that by the breach of a vow which themselves thought just, they have got a new title thereunto: for the Cardinalship is our Martyrdom: and though not many of our Orders have had that strength that they have been such Martyrs, and that the Popes themselves have been pleased to transfer this persecution into the other Orders, who have had more Cardinals than we; yet without doubt for such of ours which have had so much courage, new Crowns, and new Garlands, appropriate to our Martyrs, are prepared for them in this their Heaven; because being enabled by greater means they are fitter for greater mischiefs. We therefore lament the weakness of our Laynez 
Ribadineyra Catal: fol: 60 & 100  and our Borgia, who refused the Cardinalship offered by Paulus 4. and julius 3. for in this place and this meeting it is not unfit to say they did so, even amongst the ancient Romen 
Brisson de formul: l: 〈◊〉  when they sacrificed to you those sacrifices which offered any resistance, were ever reputed unaccepted: and therefore our Bellarmine deserves much praise, who finding a new Genius and courage in his new Cardinalship, set out his Retractions and corrected all those places in his Works, which might any way be interpreted in the favour of Princes. But let us pass over all these things; for we understand one another well enough: and let us more particularly consider those things which this man who pretends to exceed all ancient and Modern Statesmen boasts to have been done by him. Though truly no man will easily believe, that he hath gone far in any thing which did so tyre at the beginning or midway, that having seen the Pope and known him, yet could never come to the knowledge of the Devil. I know what his excuse and escape will be; that things must not be extended infinitely; that we must consist and arrest somewhere, and that more means and instruments ought not to be admitted where the matter may be dispatched by fewer. When therefore he was sure that the Bishop of Rome was the cause of all mischief, and the first mover thereof, he chose rather to settle and determine in him, than by acknowledging a Devil to induce a new tyranny, and to be driven to confess that the Pope had usurped upon the Devils right, which opinion if any man be pleased to maintain, we do not forbid him: but yet it must be an argument to us of no very nimble wit, if a man do so admire the Pope that he leave out the Devil, and so worship the Image, without relation to the Prototype and first pattern. But besides this, how idle and how very nothings they are which he hath shoveld together in his books, this makes it manifest that some of every Religion and of every profession have risen up against him, and no man attempted to defend him: neither do I say this because I think his doctrine the worse for that, but it is therefore the less artificially carried, and the less able to work those ends to which it is directed. For our part we have not proceeded so. For we have dished and dressed our precepts in these affairs with such cunning, that when our own men produce them to ens●…re and establish our pupils, than we put upon them the majesty and reverence of the Doctrine of the Church and of the common opinions: But when our adversaries allege them either to cast envy upon us, or to deter the weaker sort; then they are content with a lower room, and vouchsafe to step aside into the rank of private opinions. And the Canons themselves are with us sometime glorious in their mitres and pontifical habits and sound nothing but mere Divine resolutions out of the Chair itself, and so have the force of Oracles, sometimes we say they are ragged and lame, and do but whisper with a doubtful and uncertain murmur, a hollow cloystral, or an eremitical voice, and so have no more authority than those poor men which writ them: sometimes we say they were but rashly thrown into the people's ears out of Pulpits in the Homilies of fathers; sometimes that they were derived out of such Counsels as suffered abortion, and were delivered of their children, which are their Canons before inanimation, which is the Pope's assent; or out of such Counsels as are now discontinued and dead (howsoever they remained long time in use, and lively and in good state of health) and therefore cannot be thought fit to be used now, or applied in civil businesses; sometimes we say the Pope's voice is in them all by his approbation; sometimes that only the voice of those authors from whom they are taken speaks in them. And accordingly we deliver divers and various Philosyphy upon our Gratian who compiled them; sometimes we allow him the honour and dignity of Diamonds and the nobler sort of stones, which have both their clearness and their firmness from this, for that they are compacted of less parts and atoms than others are: and so is Gratian; whom for the same cause, sometimes we account but a hill of many sands cast together, and very unfit to receive any foundation. I must confess that the Fathers of our Order, out of a youthful fierceness which made them dare and undertake any thing (for our Order was scarce at years at that time) did amiss in inducing the Council of Trent to establish certain Rules and Definitions from which it might not be lawful to depart: for indeed there is no remedy but that sometimes we must depart from them: nor can it be dissembled that both the writers of our Order, and the Dominicans have departed from them in that great war and Tragedy lately raised at Rome about Grace and Freewill: For it is not our purpose that the writings of our men should be so ratified that they may not be changed so that they be of our Order which change them: so by the same liberty which Daemon joannes hath taken in delivering the King of Britain from the danger of Deposition; (because as yet no sentence is given against him) and also from many other Canons which others think may justly be discharged against him, it will be as lawful for us, when that Kingdom shall be enough stupefied with this our Opium to restore those Canons to their former vigour, and to awake that state out of her Lethargy, either with her own heat, intestine war, or by some Medicine drawn from other places: for Princes have all their securities from our indulgence, and from the slack and gentle interpretation of the Canons: they are but privileges which since they are derived, and receive life from us, they may be by us diminished, revoked and annulled: for as it was lawful for Mariana to depart from the doctrine of the Council of Constance, so it was lawful for Cotton to depart from Mariana, which notwithstanding, we would have only lawful for our Order to whom it is given to know times and secrets of state: for we see the Sorbonists themselves (which may seem to have an Aristocratical papacy amongst themselves) though they laboured to destroy the doctrine of Mariana, did yet wisely forbear to name him or any other jesuit, which was a modesty that I did not hope for at their hands; since before I died they made one Decree against me: 
Gretzer: Examen: speculi fol: 139.  but yet therein I think somewhat may be attributed to my patience and providence; who knowing their strength and our own infancy, forbade all of my Order to make any answer to that Decree of theirs: neither were we so Herculean as to offer to strangle Serpents in our cradle. But yet since after that time they have been often provoked by our men: (for I gave not so Iron a Rule and Precepts to my Disciple as Francis did to his, who would not have his Rule applied to times & to new occasions) certainly they might have been excused if they had been at this time sharper against us. And if the Parliament of Paris thought it not fit to carry the matter so modestly in their Arrest against Mariana, but made both the Book and the Doctrine, and the Man infamous: what should we say more of it, but that it is a Giant and a wild beast which our men could never tame, for still it cries and howls, The Pope is bound 
L'eschuffier, f: 25. Id: fol: 32.  to proceed lawfully and Canonically: and this they maliciously interpret of their own Laws, and of ancient Canons, which they hope to bring in to use again, by an insensible way of Arrest and Sentences in that Court. This then is the point of which we accuse Machiavelli, that he carried not his Mine so safely but that the enemy perceived it still. But we who have received the Church to be as a ship, do freely sail in the deep sea; we have an Anchor, but we have not cast it yet, but keep it ever in our power to cast it and weigh it at our pleasure. And we know well enough that as to sailing ships, so to our sailing Church, all rocks, all promontories, all firm and fast places are dangerous, and threaten shipwreck, and therefore to be avoided; and liberty and sea-room to be affected; yet I do not obstinately say that there is nothing in Machiavels Commentary which may be of use to this Church. Certainly there is very much; but we are not men of that poverty that we need beg from others, nor dignify those things with our praises which proceed not from ourselves. The Senate of Rome gave us heretofore a noble example of this temperance and abstinence, which therefore refused to place Christ amongst their gods, because the matter was proposed by the Emperor, and begun not in themselves. As for that Particular wherein Machiavelli useth especially to glory; which is that he brought in the liberty of dissembling and lying, it hath neither foundation nor colour: For not only Plato and other fashioner's of Commonwealths, allowed the liberty of lying to Magistrates 
Observat: in Cassianum, fol: 736. ex collat: 19  and to Physicians; but we also considering the Fathers of the Church, Origen, chrysostom, Hierome, have not only found that Doctrine in them, but we have also delivered them from all imputation and reprehension by this evasion, That it was lawful for them to maintain that opinion till some definition of the Church had established the contrary: Which certainly (though this should not be so openly spoken of) as yet was never done. But yet we have departed from this doctrine of free lying, though it were received in practice, excused by the Fathers, strengthened by examples of Prophets and Angels in the Scriptures, and so almost established by the Law of Nations and Nature; only for this reason, because we were not the first Authors of it. But we have supplied this loss with another doctrine less suspicious; and yet of as much use for our Church; which is Mental reservation, and Mixed propositions. The liberty therefore of lying is neither new nor safe, as almost all Machiavels precepts are so stale and obsolete, that our Serarius using I must confess, his Jesuitical liberty of wild anticipation, 
Triha●…es lib: 2. c: 4.  did not doubt to call Herod who lived so long before Machiavelli, a machiavellian. But that at one blow we may cut off all his reasons and all his hopes, this I affirm, this I pronounce, That all his books and all his deeds tend only to this, that thereby a way may be prepared to the ruin and destruction of that part of this kingdom which is established at Rome: for what else doth he endeavour or go about, but to change the form of Commonwealth, and so to deprive the people (who are a soft, a liquid, and ductile mettle, and apt for our impressions) of all their liberty, and having so destroyed all civility and republic, to reduce all States to Monarchies; a name which in secular States, we do so much abhor, 
De la mess, fol: 358.  (I cannot say it without tears) but I must say it, that not any one Monarch is to be found, which either hath not withdrawn himself wholly from our kingdom, or wounded and endamaged in some weighty point; hereupon our Cotton confesseth, that the authority of the Pope is incomparably less than it was, and that now the Christian Church, (which can agree to none but the Romans) is but a diminutive. And hereupon also it is, that the Cardinals, who were wont to meet oftener, meet now but once in a week, 
Synta. Tholos: lib 15. c: 4. v: 7.  because the businesses of the Court of Rome grow fewer. To forbear therefore mentioning of the Kings of Britain & Denmark, and the other Monarches of the first sort, which have utterly cast off Rome; even in France, our enemies are so much increased that they equal us almost in number: and for their strength, they have this advantage above us, that they agree within themselves and are at unity with their neighbour Reformed Churches; whereas our men which call themselves Chatholick there, do so much differ from the Roman Catholic that they do not only prefer Counsels, but even the King before the Pope, and ever more oppose those their two great Giants Gog, and Magog, their Parliament of Paris, and their College of Sorbon, against all our endeavours. Besides all this, we languish also miserably in Spain, where Clergymen, if they 
Scap: de jure non script: l. 1. c: 6. Ibid: c: 16  break their fealty to their Lord, are accused of treason; where Ecclesiastical persons are subject to secular judgement and, if they 
Ibid. c. 25  ●…e sa●…rilegious, are burnt by the Ordinary Magistrate; which are doctrines and practices, contrary and dangerous to us. And though they will seem to have given almost half the Kingdom to the Church, and so to have divided equally: yet those Grants are so infected, with pensions and other burdens by which the King's servants, 〈◊〉 the younger sorts of great persons are maintained, that this greatness of the Church there, is rather a dropsy then a sound state of health established by well-concocted nourishment, and is rather done to cast an envy upon the Church, then to give any true majesty to it. And even in usurping Ecclesiastical jurisdiction; the Kings of Spain have not only exceeded the kings of France, but also of Brittany; For (says Baronius of that King) there is now risen up 
De Regno Sicil●…▪  a new head, a monster and a wonder: He Excommunicates, and he Absolves, And he practiseth this power even against Bishops, and Cordinals. He stops Appeals, and he acknowledges no superiority in the Sea of Rome, but only in case of Prevention: And therefore, the name Monarch, is a hateful and execrable name to us. Against which, Baronius hath thundered with such viol●…e, such ●…ercheffe, and such ●…nesse, that I could hardly, add any thing thereunto, if I should speak (unspeakable Emperor) with thine own tongue for he calls it an A●…lterine name, and a Tower of Babel, and threatens destruction to that King (though himself were his subject) except he for, bear the name. In the mean time, he resolves him to be a Tyrant, and pronounces him to stand yearly excommunicate by the Bulla Coenae. Neither doth he offer to defend himself with any other excuse, when a Cardinal reprehended his fierceness toward the King than this; An Imperious zeal hath no power to 
Resp. ad Card. Colum.  spare God himself. And yet he confesseth, that this zeal was kindled by the Pope's special command, and by his Oath taken, as Cardinal. Neither hath our Bellarmine almost any other cause of advancing Monarchical government so much as he doth, than thereby to remove all Secular men from so great a dignity, and to reserve it only to the Church. It was therefore well done of that Rebullus (who now begins to be known in this State) when having surfeited with calumnies against the French Church and her Ministers, he hath dared of late to draw his Pen, and to join battle against a most puissant foreign Prince: he did well (I say) and fitly, when he called Bellarmine and Baronius, The Sword and Buckler 
Salmonees.  of the Roman Church. And I cannot choose but thank him for affording the Title of Sword to our Order; as well, because after so many Expositions of those words, (Behold, here are two swords) which our side hath gathered, to establish a temporal Jurisdiction in the Pope, and which our Adversaries have removed, worn out, or scorned, this man hath relieved us with a new, and may seem to intend by the two swords, the Pope's Excommunications, and the Jesuits Assassinates, and King-killings; as also because he hath reserved to our Order that sovereign dignity, that as God himself was pleased, to defend his Paradise with fire and sword, so we stand watchful upon the borders of our Church not only provided, as that Cherubin was with fire and sword, but with the later Invention of Gunpowder; about the first inventour whereof I wonder, why Antiquaries should contend, whether it were the Devil or a Friar, since that may be all one. But as (O unspeakable Emperor) you have almost in all things endeavoured to imitate God: so have you most throughly performed it in us; for when God attempted the Reformation of his Church, it became you also to reform yours. And accordingly by your Capuchins, you did reform your Franciscans, which before we arose, were your chiefest Labourers and Workmen: and after, you reform your Capuchins, by your Recolets. And when you perceived that in the Church God, some men proceeded so far in that Reformation, that they endeavoured to draw out, not only all the peccant and dangerous humours, but all her beauty, and extorior grace and ornament, and even her vital spirits with her corrupt blood, and so induce a leanness and ill-favourednesse upon her, and thought to cure a rigid coldness with a Fever; you also were pleased to follow that 
Hypocr: l. 4. Aphor. 57  example, and so in us did reform and awaken to higher enterprises the dispositions as well of the Circumcellions as of the Assassins': for we do not limit our selves in that low degree of the Circumcellions, when we urge and provoke others to put us to death; not of the Assassins', which were hired to kill some Kings which passed through their quarter: so we exceed them both, because we do these things voluntarily for nothing, and every where. And as we will be exceeded by none in the thing itself: so to such things as may seem mystical and significant, we oppose mystical things. And so lest that Canon; That no Clergyman should wear 
Garrauca stat. Synod. N. 41  a knife with a point, might seem to concern us, by some prophetical relation, we in our Rules have opposed this precept, That our knife be often whetted, and so kept in an apt readiness for all 
Regul. jesuit. cap. praefect. Refector.  uses: for our divination lies in the contemplation of entrails; in which, Art we are thus much more subtle than those amongst the old Romans, that we consider not the entrails of Beasts, but the entrails of Souls, in confessions, and the E●…trails of Princes in treasons whose hearts we do not believe to be with us till we see them: let therefore this prattling Secretary hold his tongue, and be content that his Book be had in such reputation as the world affords to an Ephemerider or yearly Almanac, which being accommodated to certain places and certain times, may be of some short use in some certain place and let the Ru●…s and 〈◊〉 of his Disciples like the Canons of Provincial Counsels, be of force there where they were made; but only ours which pierce and pass through all: the world, retai●… the strength and vigo●… of Universal Counsels. Let him enjoy some honourable place amongst the Gentiles; but abstain from all of our sides: neither when I say, Ou●…side, do I only mean modern men: for in all times in the Roman Church there have been Friars which have far ex ceeded Machiavelli.  
Truly I thought this Oration of Ignatius very long: and I began to think of my body which I had so long abandoned, lest it should putrify, or grow mouldy, or be buried; yet I was loath to leave the Stage till I saw the Play ended. And I was in hope that if any such thing should befall my body, the Jesuits, who work Miracles so familiarly, and whose reputation I was so careful of in this matter, would take compassion upon me, and restore me again. But as I had sometimes observed, 
Feathers or straws swim on the watersface,  
Brought to the Bridge, where through a narrow place  
The water passes, thrown back, and delayed;  
And having danced awhile, and nimbly played  
Upon the watery circles, Then have been  
By the streams liquid snares, and jaws sucked in,  
And sunk into the womb of that swollen bourn,  
Leave the beholder desperate of return:   
So I saw Machiavelli often put forward, and often thrust back, and at last vanish. And looking earnestly upon Lucifer's countenance, I perceived him to be affected towards Ignatius, as Princes, who though they envy and grudge that their great Officers should have such immoderate means to get wealth; yet they dare not complain of it, lest thereby they should make them odious and contemptible to the people: so that Lucifer now suffered a new Hell: that is, the danger of a Popular Devil, vainglorious, and inclined to Innovations there. Therefore he determined to withdraw himself into his inward chamber and to admit none but Ignatius: for he could not exclude him who had deserved so well; neither did he think it safe to stay without, and give him more occasions to amplify his own worth, and undervalue all: them there in public, and before so many vulgar Devils. But as he rose, a whole Army of souls besieged him. And all which had invented any new thing, even in the smallest matters, thronged about him; and importuned an admission. Even those which had but invented new attire for women and those whom Pancirollo hath recorded in his Commentaries 
De rebus ●…uper inventis.  for invention of Porcellan Dishes, of Spectacles, of Quintans, of Stirrups, and of Cavi●…ri, thrust themselves into the troop. And of those which pretended that they had squared the Circle, the number was infinite. But Ignatius scattered all this cloud quickly by commanding, by chiding, by deriding, by force and violence. Amongst the rest, I was sorry to see him use Peter Aretine so ill as he did: For though Ignatius told him true when he boasted of his licentious pictures, that because he was not much learned, he had left out many things of that kind, with which the ancient Histories and Poems abound: and that therefore Areti●… had not only not added any new invention, but had also, taken away all courage and spu●… from youth, which would rashly trust and nely upon his diligence, and seek no further, and so lose that 〈◊〉 on●… preti●… 〈◊〉 suoe of ●…quity. He ●…ed moreove●…, that though 〈◊〉, and others of his Order, did use to gold P●…ts and other 〈◊〉 and here I could not ●…huse but wonder, why they have not gel●…ed their 〈◊〉 Ed●…on, which in some places hath such obse●…e 
Harlay defence des jesuit. fol. 12.  words as the Hebrew ●…gne, which is therefore also called 〈◊〉, doth so much ahhor, that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 things can be ●…ed in it, info●…uch 〈◊〉 (as one of them very sub●…y notes) the 〈◊〉 of Venus is very seldom called ●…hy that name in 〈◊〉 for how could 〈◊〉 wood being not in 〈◊〉 yet (said h●…) 〈◊〉 men do not g●…ld them to that p●…rpose that the memory thereof should he abolished: but that when themselves had first tried whether Tiberius his Spintria, and Martialis Symphlegma, and others of that kind, were not rather Chimaeras, and speculations of luxuriant wits, than things certain and constant, and such as might b●…educed to an Art and method in licentiousness, (for Jesuits never content themselves with the Theory in any thing, but strait proceed to practice) they might after communicate them to their own Disciples and Novitiates: for this Church is fruitful in producing Sacraments and being now loaded with divine sacraments, it produces Moral Sacraments. In which, as in the Divine, it binds the Laity to one Species; but they reserve to themselves the divers forms, and the secrets and mysteries in this matter, which they find in the Authors whom they geld. Of which kind I think they give a little glimmering and intimation, when in the life of their last made Coddesse, Francisc●… Roman, they say, That the Bed where she lay 
Valla-der fol. 24.  with her Husband, was a perpetual Martyrdom to her, and a shop of miracles. But for all this, since Aretine was one, who by a long custom of libellous and contumelious speaking against Princes, had got such a habit, that at last he came to diminish and disesteem God himself. I wonder truly, that this Arch-Iesuite, though he would not admit him to any eminent place in his Triumphant Church, should deny him an office of lower estimation: For truly to my thinking he might have been fit, either to serve Ignatius, as Master of his pleasures, or Lucifer as his Crier: for whatsoever Lucifer durst think, this man durst speak. But Ignatius, who thought himself sufficient for all uses, thrust him away, and when he offered upward, offered his staff at him: Nor did he use Christopher Columbus with any better respect; who having found all ways in the earth and sea open to him, did not fear any difficulty in Hell, but when he offered to enter Ignatius stayed him, and said, You must remember sir, that if this kingdom have got any thing by the discovery of the West Indies, 
Matalius Metellus, praefat. in Osorium.  all that must be attributed to our Order: for if the opinion of the Dom●…eans had prevailed, That the Inhabitants should be reduced only by preaching and without violence, certainly their 200000 of men would scarce in so many ages have been brought to 150 which by our means was so soon performed. And if the Law made by Ferdinando only against Cannibals; That all which would not be Christians should be bond slaves, had not been extended into other provinces, we should have lacked men to dig us out that benefit which their Countries afford. Except we when we took away their old Idolatry, had recompensed them with a new one of o●…, except we had obtruded to those ignorant and barbarous people, sometimes natural things, sometimes artificial, and counterfeit in stead of miracles, and except we had been always ready to convey and to apply this Medicine made of this precious American dung unto the Princes of Europe, and their Lord, and Counsellors, the profit by the only discovery of these places (which must of necessity be referred to fortune) would have been very ●…le; yet I praise your perseverance and your patience which (since that seems to be your principal virtue) you shall have good occasion to exercise here, when you remain in a lower and remote●… place, than you think belongs to your merits. But although Lucifer being put into a heat and almost smothered with this troop and deluge of pretenders, seemed to have admitted Ignatius as his Lieatenant, or Legate ●…ere, and trusted him with an absolute power of doing what he would, yet he quickly spied his own error and danger thereby. He began to remember how forcibly they use to urge the Canon Alius; by which the King of France is said to have been deposed, not for his wickedness, but for his 
Paris de puteo, de syndicat. de excess. regn.  infirmity and unfitness to govern: and that Kings do forfeit their dignity if they give themselves to other matters, and leave the government of the State to their Officers. Therefore Lucifer thought it time for him to enter into the business, lest at last Ignatius should prescribe therein; by which title of prescription he well knew, how much the Church of Rome doth advance and defend itself against other Princes. And though he seemed very thankful to Ignatius for his delivery from this importunate company, yet when he perceived that his purpose was to keep all others out, he thought the case needed greater consideration; For though he had a confidence in his own Patriarches 
Sophronius cap. 45. Conse●…uerat.  which had long before possessed that place, and in whose company (as an Abbot said to the Devil, who after long intermission, now tempted him) he was grown old, and doubted not but that they would defend their right, and oppose themselves against any innovation which Ignatius should practise, yet if none but he in a whole age should be brought in, he was afraid that this singularity would both increase his courage and spirit, and their reverence and respect towards him. Casting therefore his eyes into every corner, at last a great way off he spied Philip Nerius: who acknowledging in his own particular no especial merit towards this kingdom, forbore to press nearer the gate, but Lucifer called to his remembrance, that Nerius and all that Order, of which he was the Author, which is called Congregatio Oratorii, were erected, advanced, and dignified by the Pope, principally to this end, that by their incessant Sermons to the people, of the lives of Saints, and other Ecclesiastic Antiquities, they might get a new reputation, and so the torrent, and general superstition towards the jesuits might grow a little remisser, and juke-warm, for at that time the Pope himself began to be afraid of the Jesuits, for they begun to publish their Paradox of Confession and absolution to be given by letters, and Messengers, and by that means to draw the secrets of all Princes only to themselves; And they had tried and solicited a great Monarch who hath many designs upon Italy against the Pope and delivered to that Prince divers Articles, for the reforming of him. Now the Pope and Lucifer love ever to follow one another's example: And therefore that which the one had done in the middle world, the other attempted in the lower. Hereupon he called for Philip, Nerius, and gave him many evidenoes of a good inclination towards him. But Nerius was too stupid to interpret them aright. Yet Ignatius spied them, and before Lucifer should declare himself any further, or proceed too far herein, lest after he were farengaged, there should be no way to avert or withdraw him from his own propositions (for he saw there must be respect had of his honour and constancy) he thought it fittest to oppose now at the beginning. He said therefore, that he now perceived that Lucifer had not been altogether so much conversant with Philip, as with the ●…esuirs, since he knew not how much Philip had ever professed himself an enemy to him 
1 Vita Nerii-fol. 107.  For he did not only deny all visions and apparitions, 
2 Fol. 108.  and commanded one to spit in Mary's face when she appeared again, because he thought it was the Devil; 
3 Fol. 212.  And drove away another that came to tempt a sick man, in the shape of a Physician; 
4 Fol. 229.  and was hardly drawn to believe any possessings; but 
5 Fol. 19  when three Devils did meet him in the way, to affright him, he neither thought them worthy of any Exorcisms, nor so much as the sign of the Cross, but merely went by them, as though he scorned to look at them, and so despited them with that negligence. It may be that he hath drawn others into Religion, but himself remained then in the Laity; in so much as I remember, that 
6 Fol. 26.  I used to call him The Saint's bell, that hangs without, and calls others into the Church. 
7 Fol. 313.  Neither do they which follow this Order, bind themselves with any vow or oath; Neither do I know any thing for which this 
8 Fol. 163.  kingdom is beholding to him, but that 〈◊〉 moved Baronius to write his Annals.  
To all this Nerius said nothing, as though it had been spoken of some body else. Without doubt, either he never knew, or had forgot that he had done those things which they write of him. But Lucifer himself took the boldness (having with some difficulty got Ignatius leave) to take Nerius his part: and proceeded so far, that he adventured to say, That Baronius, Bozius and others, which proceeded out of the Hive of Nerius, had used a more free, open, and hard fashion against Princes, and better provided for the Pope's direct jurisdiction upon all kingdoms, and more stoutly defended it than they, which undertaking the cause more tremblingly then becomes the Majesty of so great a business, adhered to Bellarmine's sect, and devised such crooked ways, and such perplexed entanglings, as by reason of the various and uncertain circumstances, were of no use: And that whatsoever Nerius his Scholars had performed, must be attributed to him, as the fruit to the root. Ignatius perceiving that Lucifer undertook all offices for Nerius, and became Judge, Advocate, and Witness, pursuing his former resolution, determined to interrupt him lest when he had enlarged himself in Nerius commendation, he should thereby be bound to a reward. He therefore cried out, What hath Nerius done? what hath he or his followers put in execution? have they not ever been only exercised in speculations, and in preparatory doctrines? Are these books which are written of the Jurisdiction of the Pope, to any better use than Physicians Lectures of Diseases, and of Medicines? whilst these Receipts lie hid in Physicians books and no body goes to the Patient; no body applies the Medicines to the Disease. What good, what profit comes by all this? what part, what member of this languishing body have they undertaken? In what Kingdom have they corrected these humours which offend the Pope, either by their Incision or cauterising? what state have they cut up into an Anatomy? what Sceliton on have they provided for the instruction of posterity? Do they hope to cure their diseases by talking and preaching as it were with charms and enchantments? If Nerius shall be thought worthy of this honour, and this place, because out of his Scholar's writings something may be gleaned, which may be applied to this purpose, why should we not have Bez●… and Caloin, and the rest of that sort here in hell, since in their books there may be some things found which may be rested to this purpose? But since their scope was not to extirpate Monarchies, since they published no such Canons and Aphorisms as might be applied to all ca●…es, and so brought into certain use and consequence, but limited theirs to circumstances which seldom fall out, since they delivered nothing dangerous to Princes, but where in their opinion, the Sovereignty resides in the People, or in certain Ephory, since they never said, that this power to violate the person of a Prince, might either be taken by any private man, or committed to him, and that therefore none of their Disciples hath ever boasted of having done any thing upon the person of his Sovereign: we see that this place hath ever been shut against them: there have been some few of them (though I can scarce afford those men the honour to number them with Knox and Goodman, and Buchanan) which following our examples, have troubled the peace of some States, and been injurious to some Princes, and have been admitted to some place in this Kingdom; but since they have performed nothing with their hands nor can excuse themselves by saying, they were not able: (for wherein was Clement, or Ravillac more able than they, or what is not he able to do in the middesof an Army, who despiseth his own life? they scarce ever aspire, or offer at this secret and sacred Chamber. Lucifer had a purpose to have replied to this: That perchance all their hands which had been imbrued in the bowels of Princes were not so immediately armed by the Jesuits, as that they were ever present at all consultations and resolutions: (and yet he meant to say this, not as sworn witness, but as Lucifer himself, and the father of lies, in which capacity he might say any thing.) But that it was enough that Confessors do so possess them with that doctrine that it is not now proposed to them as Physic, but as natural food, and ordinary diet; and that therefore for the performance of these things, a Jesuits person is no more requisite, then that the heart of a man, because it sends forth spirits into every limb, should therefore be present in every limb: that when 
Brisson d●… formul. l. 1.  it was in use for the Consuls of Rome for the the safety of their Country and army, to devote themselves over to the infernal God, it was lawful for themselves to abstain and forbear the Act, and they might appoint any Soldier for that Sacrifice: and that so the jesuits for the performance of their resolutions, might stir up any amongst the people: (for now they enjoy all the privileges of the Franciscans, who say; That the name 
Reinsulk Manual. Franciscan cap. 9  of People, comprehends all which are not of their Order;) And that if this be granted, Nerius his Scholars are inferior to none; with whose books (if all the jesuits should perish) the Church might content herself, and never fear dearth nor leanness. This Lucifer would have spoken; but he thought it better and easier to forbear: for he observed, that Ignatius had given a sign, and that all his troops which were many, subtle, and busy, set up their bristles, g●…mbled, and compacted themselves into one body, gathered, produced, and urged all their evidence, whatsoever they had done, or suffered. There the English Legion, which was called Capestrata, which Campian led, and (as I think) Garnet concluded, was fiercer than all the the rest. And as though there had been such a second Martyrdom to have been suffered, or as though they might have put off their Immortality, they offered themselves to any employment. Therefore Lucifer gave Nerius a secret warning to withdraw himself, and spoke no more of him; and despairing of bringing in an other, began earnestly to think, how he might leave Ignatius out. This therefore he said to him: I am sorry my Ignatius, that I can neither find in others, deserts worthy of this place, nor any room in this place worthy of your deserts. If I might die, I see there would be no long strife for a Successor: For if you have not yet done that act which I did at first in Heaven, and thereby got this Empire, this may excuse you, that no man hath been able to tell you what it was: For if any of the Ancients say true when they call it Pride, or Licentiousness, or Lying; or if it be in any of the Casuists, which profess the Art of sinning, you cannot be accused of having omitted it. But since I may neither forsake this kingdom, nor divide it, this only remedy is left: I will write to the Bishop of Rome, he shall call Galileo the Florentine to him, who by this time bathe throughly instructed himself of all the Hills, Woods, and Cities in the new world, the Moon. And since he effected so much with his first Glasses, that he saw the Moon in so near a distance, that he gave himself satisfaction of all, and the least parts in her, when now being 
Nuncius Sydereus.  grown to more perfection in his Art, he shall have made new Glasses and they received a hallowing from the Pope, he may draw the Moon, like a Boat floating upon the water, as near the Earth as he will. And thither (because they ever claim that those employments of discovery belong to them) shall all the jesuits be transferred, and easily unite and reconcile the Lunatic Church to the Roman Church: without doubt, after the Jesuits have been there a little while, there will soon grow naturally a Hell in that world also: over which, you Ignatius shall have dominion, and establish your kingdom and dwelling there. And with the same ease as you pass from the earth to the Moon, you may pass from the Moon to the other stars, which are also thought to be worlds, and so you may beget and propagate many Hells, and enlarge your Empire, and come nearer unto that high seat, which I left at first. Ignatius had not the patience to stay till Lucifer had made an end; but as soon as he saw him pause, and take breath, and look, first upon his face, to observe what changes were there, and after to cast his eye to another place in Hell, where a great noise was suddenly raised: he apprehended this intermission, and as though Lucifer had ended, he said: That of Lucifer's affection to the Roman Church, and to their Order, every day produced new Testimonies: and that this last was to be accounted as one of the greatest. That he knew well with how great devotion the Bishop of Rome did ever embrace and execute all counsels proceeding from him: And that therefore he hoped, that he would reserve that employment for the jesuits and that Empire for him their founder: and that he believed the Pope had thought of this before; and at that time when he put Parsons the English jesuit in hope of a Cardinalship, he had certainly a reference to this place, and to this Church: That it would fall out shortly, that all the damages, which the Roman Church hath lately suffered upon the earth, shall be recompensed only there. And that now this refuge was opened if she should be reduced into greater straits, or if she should be utterly exterminated, the world would not much lament and mourn for it. And for the entertainment of the Jesuits there, there can be no doubt made at this time, when, (although their profession be to enter whether Princes will or no) all the Princes of the World will not only graciously afford them leave to go, but willingly and cheerfully accompany them with Certificates, and Demissory letters. nor would they much resist it, if the Pope himself would vouchsafe to go with them, and so fulfil in some small measure, that Prophecy of his Gerson, De Auferibilitate Papae. Besides this, a woman governs there; of which sex they have ever made their profit, which have attempted any Innovation in religion; with how much diligence were the two Empresses, Pulcheria and Eudoxia, solicited by the Pope for the establishing of Easter? how earnestly did both Pelagius and the Pope strive by their letters to draw the Empress to their side? For since julia had that honour given to her in public coins, that she was called the Mother of the Army, the Mother of the Gods, and of the Senate, and the Mother of her Country: Why may not Women instructed by us, be called Mothers of the Church? Why may not we rely upon the Wit of Women, when once, the Church delivered over herself to a Woman-Bishop? and since we are reputed so fortunate in obtaining the favour of Women, that Women are forbid to come into 
e Rog. jesuit. f●…l. 73. lbid. fol. 47.  our houses; and we are forbid, to take the charge of any Nuns; since we have had so good experience of their favour●… in all the Indies, or at least have thought it fit, that they which have the charge to write our anniversary letters from thence should make that boast, and add something to the truth, both because the ancient Heretics held that course in insinuating their opinions, and because they which are acquainted with our practices, will think any thing credible, which is written of us in that behalf, why should we doubt of our fortune in this Queen, which is so much subject to alterations and passions? she languishes often in the absence of the Sun, and often in Eclipses falls into 'swounds, and is at the point of death. In these advantages we must play our parts, and put our devices in practice: for at these times any thing may be drawn from her. Nor must we forbear to try what verses and incantations may work upon her: For in those things which the Poets writ though they themselves did not believe them, we have since found many truths, and many deep mysteries: nor can I call to mind any woman which either deceived our hope, or escaped our cunning, but Elizabeth of England; who might the rather be pardoned that, because she had put off all affections of women. The principal dignity of which sex (which is to be a mother) what reason had she to wish or affect, since without those womanish titles, unworthy of her, of wife and mother, such an heir was otherwise provided for her, as was not fit to be kept any longer from the inheritance. But when I, who hate them, speak thus much in the honour of these two Princes, I find myself carried with the same fury as those beasts were, which our men say, did sometime adore the Host in the Mass. For it is against my will, that I pay thus much to the Manes of Elizabeth; from scorning of which word Manes, when the King of great Britain writ it, I would our Parsons had forborn, since one of our own Jesuits useth the same word, when reprehending our adversaries, he says, That they do insult upon 
Heissius ad Aphor jesuit. fol. 135.  Garnets' Manes. And yet this Elizabeth was not free from all Innovation; For the ancient Religion was so much worn out, that to reduce that to the former dignity, and so to renew it, was a kind of Innovation: and by this way of Innovating she satisfied the infirmity of her sex, if she suffered any: for a little Innovation might serve her, who was but a little, a woman. Neither dare I say that this was properly an Innovation, lest thereby I should confess, that Luther and many others which live in banishment in Heaven far from us, might have a title to this place, as such Innovators. But we cannot doubt, but that this lunatic Queen will be more inclinable to our Innovations: for our Clavius hath been long familiarly conversant with her: what she hath done from the beginning, what she will do hereafter, how she behaves herself toward her neighbour kingdoms, the rest of the stars, and all the planetary, and firmamentary worlds, with whom she is in league and amity, and with whom at difference, he is perfectly instructed, so he have his Ephemerideses about him. But Clavius is too great a personage to be bestowed upon this lunatic Queen, either as her Counsellor, or (which were more to our profit) as her Confessor. So great a man must not be cast away upon so small a matter. Nor have we any other besides, whom upon any occasion we may send to the Sun, or to the other worlds, beyond the world. Therefore we must reserve Clavius for greater uses. Our Herbestus, or Busaus, or Voellus (and these be all which have given any proof of their knowledge in Mathematics although they be but tasteless, and childish, may serve to observe her aspects and motions, and to make Catechisms fit for this lunatic Church: for though Garnet had Clavius for his Master, yet he profited little in the Arts, 
Eudaem. joan. Apol. pro Garn●…. c. 5.  but being filled with Bellarmine's Dictates, (who was also his Master) his mind was all upon Politics. When we are established there, this will add much to our dignity, that in our letters which we send down to the earth (except perchance the whole Roman Church come up to us into the Moon) we may write of what miracles we list: which we offered to do out of the Indies, and with good success, till one of our Order, in 
Acosta d●… procur. Ind. Salu l. 2, c. 9  simplicity, and ingenuity, fitter for a Christian, than a Jesuit, acknowledged and lamented that there were no wiracles done there. Truly it had been better for us to have spit all those five Brothers, Acostas, out of our Order, then that any one of them should have vomited this reproach against us. It is of such men as these in our Order, that our Gretzer says, There is no body without his Excrements, 
De studiis jesuit. abstrus. c. 5.  because though they speak truth, yet they speak it too rawly. But as for this contemplation, and the establishing of that government, (though it be a pleasant consideration) we may neither pamper ourselves longer with it now, nor detain you longer therein. Let your Greatness write, let the Pope execute your counsel, let the Moon approach when you 2 think fit. In the mean time let me use this Chamber as a resting place. For though Pope Gregory 
Bellar. de Purg. l. 2. c. 8.  were strucken by the Angel with a perpetual pain in his stomach and feet, because he compelled God by his prayers to deliver Trajan out of Hell, and transfer him to Heaven, and therefore God, by the mouth of Gregory took an assurance for all his Successors, that they should never dare to request the like again: yet when the Pope shall call me back from hence, he can be in no danger, both because in this contract God cannot be presumed to have thought of me, since I never thought of him, and so the contract therein void; and because the condition is not broken, if I be not removed into Heaven, but transferred from an earthly Hell to a Lunatic Hell. More than this he could not be heard to speak: For that noise, of which I spoke before, increased exceedingly, and when Lucifer asked the cause, it was told him, That there was a soul newly arrived in Hell, which said, that the Pope was at last entreated to make Ignatius a Saint, and that he hastened his Canonization, as thinking it an unjust thing, that when all Artificers and profane Butchers had particular Saints to invocate, only these spiritual Butchers, and King-killers, should have none. For when the Jesuit Cotton in those questions which by virtue of his invisible privilege he had provided for a possessed person, amongst others, dangerous both to England and France, had inserted this question: What shall I do for Ignatius his canonising? and found at last, that Philip King of Spain, and Henry King of France, contended by their Ambassadors at Rome, which of them should have the honour of obtaining his canonising (for both pretending to be King of Navarre, both pretended that this right and honour belonged to him; and so both deluded the Jesuits:) For D Alcala a Franciscan, and Penafort a jacobite, 
Pierre Mathier i. l. 1. Nar. 4  were by Philip's means canonised, and the Jesuit left out. At last he despaired of having any assistance from these Princes; nor did he think it convenient that a Jesuit should be so much beholding 
Litera ejus ad Philip. 3.  to a King▪ since Baronius was already come to that height and constancy, that being accused of some wrongs done to his King, he did not vouchsafe to write in his own excuse to the King, till the Conclave which was then held, was fully ended, lest (as himself gives the reason) if he had then been chosen Pope, it should be thought he had been beholden to the King therein. For these reasons therefore they labour the Pope themselves. They confess, that if they might choose, they had rather he should restore them into all which they had lost in France and Venice, then that Ignatius should be sent up into Heaven; and that the Pope was rather bound to do so, by the Order which God himself seems to have observed in the Creation where he first furnished the Earth, and then the Heavens, 
Gen. 2. 4.  and confirmed himself to be the Israeiltes God by this Argument, that he had given them the Land of Canaan and other temporal blessings. But since this exceeded 
Gen. 17. 8.  the Pope's omnipotence in earth; it was fit he should try what he could do in Heaven. Now the Pope would fain have satisfied them with the Title of Beatus, which formerly upon the entreaty of the Princes of that Family he had afforded to Aloisius Gonzaga 
Vita ejus Epist. ad Paul. 5.  of that Order. He would also have given this Title of Saint rather to Xaverius, who had the reputation of having done Miracles. Indeed he would have done any thing, so he might have slipped over Ignatius. But at last he is overcome; and so against the will of Heaven, and of the Pope, Lucifer himself being not very forward in it, Ignatius must be thrust in amongst the Saints. All this Discourse, I, being grown cunninger than that Doctor, Gabriel Nele (of whom Bartolus 
L. 1. de ve●…blig.  speaketh) that by the only motion of his lips, without any utterance, understood all men, perceived and read in every man's countenance there. These things as soon as Lucifer apprehended them, gave an end to the contention: For now he thought he might no longer doubt nor dispute of Ignatius his admission, who, besides his former pretences, had now gotten a new right and Title to the place by his Canonization; and he feared that the Pope would take all delay ill at his hands, because Canonization is now grown a kind of Declaration, by which all men may take knowledge, that such a one to whom the Church of Rome is much beholden, is now made partaker of the principal dignities and places in Hell: For these men ever make as though they would follow Augustine in all things, and therefore they provide that that also shall be true which he said in this point, That the Relics of many are honoured upon earth, whose souls are tormented in Hell. Therefore he took Ignatius by the hand, and led him to the Gate. In the mean time, I, which doubted of the truth of this Report of his Canonising, went a little out for further instruction: for I thought it scarce credible, that Paulus Quintus, who had but lately burdened both the City of Rome, and the Church, with so great expenses, when he canonised Francisca Romana, would so easily proceed to canonize Ignatius now, when neither any Prince offered to bear the charge, nor so much as solicited it: for so he must be focred to waste both the Treasures of the Church at once. And from Leo 3. who 800 years after Christ, is the first Pope which canonised any, I had not observed that this had ever been done: Neither do I think that Paulus Quintus was drawn to the canonising of this woman by any other respect, then because that Rule which she appointed to her Order, was dictated and written by 
Valade. eius fol. 57  S. Paul: For though Peter and Magdalen, and others, were present at the writing thereof, as witnesses, yet Paul was the Author thereof. And since St Paul's old Epistles trouble and disadvantage this Church, they were glad to apprehend any thing of his new writing which might be for them, that so this new work of his might bear witness of his second conversion to Papistry, since by his first conversion to Christianity, they got nothing: for to say that in this business Paulus Quintus could not choose but be God, God himself to say that he must needs have lived familiarly with the Godhead: and must have heard Predestination itself whispering to him: and must have had a place to sit in Council with the most Divine Trinity, (all which 
Fol. 5.  Valaderius says of him, is not necessary in this matter, wherein the Popes for the most part proceed, as humane affections lead them. But at last, after some enquiry, I found that a certain idle Gazettior, which used to scrape up news and rumours at Rome, and so to make up sale letters, vainer & falser than the jesuits letter of japan and the Indies, had brought this news to Hell, and a little jesuitical Novice, a credulous soul, received it by his implicit faith, and published it. I laughed at Lucifer's easiness to believe, and I saw no reason ever after, to accuse him of infidelity. Upon this I came back again, to spy (if the gates were still open) with what affection Ignatius, and they who were in ancient possession of that place, behaved themselves towards one another. And I found him yet in the porch, and there beginning a new contention: for having presently cast his eyes to the principal place, next to Lucifer's own Throne; and finding it possessed he stopped Lucifer, and asked him who it was that sat there. It was answered that it was Pope Boniface: to whom▪ as to a principal Innovator, for having first challenged the name of Universal Bishop, that honour was afforded. Is he an Innovator thundered Ignatius? shall I suffer this, when all my disciples have laboured all this while to prove to the world, that all the Popes before his time did use that name? and that Gregory did not reprehend the Patriarch john for taking to himself an Antichristian name, but for usurping a name which was due to none but the Pope. And could it be fit for you, Lucifer (who in this were either unmindful of the Roman Church, or else too weak and incapable of her secrets and mysteries) to give way to any fentence in Hell, which (though it were according to truth) yet differed from the jesuits Oracles? With this Ignatius flies upwards, and rushes upon Boniface, and throws him out of his Seat: and Lucifer went up with him as fast, and gave him assistance, lest, if he should forsake him, his own Seat might be endangered. And I returned to my body; which 
As a flower wet with last night's dew, and then  
Warmed with the new Sun, doth shake off again  
All drowsiness, and raise his trembling Crown,  
Which crookedly did languish, and stoop down  
To kiss the earth, and panted now to find  
Those beams returned, which had not long time shined.  was with this return of my soul sufficiently refreshed. And when I had seen all this, and considered how fitly and proportionally Rome and Hell answered one another, after I had seen a jesuit turn the Pope out of his Chair in Hell, I suspected that that Order would attempt as much at Rome.   

An Apology for jesuits.  
NOw it is time to come to the Apology for jesuits: that is, it is time to leave speaking of them, for he favours them most, which says least of them; Nor can any man, though he had declaimed against them till all the sand of the sea were run through his hourglass, lack matter to add of their practices. If any man have a mind to add any thing to this Apology, he hath my leave; and I have therefore left room for three or four lines, which is enough for such a paradox; and more than jungius, Scribanius, Gretzerus, Richeomus, Cydonius, and all the rest which are used to Apologies, and almost tired with a defensive war, are able to employ, if they will write only good things, and 
Bonar. in Ampbitb.  true, of the jesuits. Neither can they comfort themselves with this, That Cato was called to his answer four and forty times: for he was so many times acquitted, which both the Parliaments of England and France deny of the jesuits. But if any man think this Apology too short, he may think the whole book an Apology, by this rule of their own, That it is their greatest argument of innocency to be accused by us. At this time, whilst they are yet somewhat able to do some harm in some places, let them make much of this Apology. It will come to pass shortly, when as they have been despoiled and expelled at Venice, and shaked and fanned in France, so they will be forsaken of other Princes, and then their own weakness will be their Apology, and they will grow harmless out of necessity, and that which Vegetius said 
Lib. 1. c. 14.  of Chariots armed with scythes and hooks, will be applied to the Jesuits, at first they were a terror, and after a scorn.  
FINIS.