A DREAM: Or NEWS FROM HELL.  
With a Relation of the great God PLUTO, suddenly falling sick by reason of this present Parliament.   depiction of three men holding bottles around the bedside of Pluto 
Printed in S●c●●● on the backside of the Cyclopean Mountains. 1641.   

A DREAM OR NEWS FROM HELL.  
NOT long since an honest Yeoman coming up to London, to petition to the most honourable High Court of Parliament in his own behalf, for an especial wrong he had received from certain Projectors, who had encroached upon a parcel of his freehold, near to the Common where he dwelled, by direction of some wellminded people, came into Westminster Hall, where having walked a long time up and down, & not knowing unto whom to deliver his petition, among so many hundreds that he met withal, at last being desirous to take some repast, wherewith he might revive & comfort himself, he came to a place near adjoining, which was termed by the name of Hell, and having well satisfied himself with such a portion of meat & drink as be thought might content his appetite, he demanded what might be to pay, and finding the reckoning to be beyond his expectation, he grew very much discontented at the payment thereof, and repairing presently to his Lodging, being not fare off, and being very much perplexed at his former Reckoning, he resolved at the last to betake himself to his Bed, and not long after falling into a slumbering sleep (divers Whimsies and diversities of Motions, swimming in his brain of the supposed Hell where he had formerly been) he dreamed he was in the true and local Hell indeed:  
Where being affrighted with the apparitions of divers hideous and ugly deformed diabolical Fiends, who were by his cogitation numberless, he was transported by his fancy to the great Court of Grand Pluto, who being attended with a multitude of his black Guard, and other his stigmatical Officers, there was an instant hurly-burly and combustion in the Court, about the suddenness of Grand-Pluto falling into a grievous sickness; wherefore all the Court Doctors of Hell being summoned to appear (with an infinite company of Witches, Conjurers, & Sorcerers, fetched from all other places, to give their best advice therein, were admitted into his princely Chamber, and having cast his water, and debated the matter a long time about the difficulty of his Disease, at length they all agreed, that he fell sick of a Parliament.  
Whereupon Proclamation being made in Pluto's name throughout all his Hellish Dominions, to any whatsoever to repair unto his Court, with promises of great reward and favour from him, that could by any ways comfort him in this behalf. Upon a sudden there appeared a multitude in long buttoned cassocks, high collars, and square C-ps', with small falling bands about their Necks, who seemed to strive, agoinst all others, to be the first that might be admitted into his presence; and these were reported to be a comp-ny of jesuites, who were the dear children of Pluto, who hearing that their Father was sick, came in all submissive manner to visit him, and to offer their service unto him, and withal informed him, that if there were any Design, Practice, Plot, Device, Study, or other stratagem whatsoever, that could administer him any comfort, or wherein they might any ways express their duty unto him, or further enlarge his Kingdom, they would ride, run, go, trot, or what not to perform his pleasure therein, and withal, desired him to be of good cheer, and to be comforted in his Children, who were ready at all times to wait his will and pleasure, and to execute whatsoever he should command.  
Hereupon they desired their Father Pluto to take notice of the former care they had to enlarge his Kingdom, by animating the great Metropolitan to be a means to bring in Popery, and to do the best service he could therein.  
And withal showing how they had sowed sedition and discord amongst the English Heretics, and provoked the Scottish Heretics to rebel against their lawful King, and to intrude into the Territories of this Land; and also had animated their beloved Brother Cardinal de Richlieu to raise a puissant Army for the invasion of this Land in two several places, (viz.) at Dover and Portsmouth, at such times as the King was supposed to be most deeply employed in his War against the Scots; and likewise have we not procured your great Secretary of State, Don Antonio Demonibus to make an especial enrolment of all their names in your Calendar, amongst those your dear Servants, the Plotters of the Gunpowder Treason, and those renowned Complotters of the former invasion into this Land in 88 and have not only animated many noble personages, and others, to assist us in our great Design of bringing in of Popery into this Land, but have also procured divers Popish Books to be printed openly, thereby the better to encourage your Highness, dear Father, and the more to enlarge your Kingdom.  
And for Courts of Justice, have we not also by our power and authority joined with our dreadful and High Commission, brought to pass, that if any Heretic, under the degree of a Lord, should but put on his Hat in the time of Divine Service, we kept him in our Ecclesiastical clutches five or six years together. And have we not likewise in the Courts of Chancery, Kings-Beach, or common Pleas, procured divers ways and means whereby many men (though their cause were never so just) have been either by continual delays wearied in their Suits, or by extorted Fees, Bribery, or other Devices, driven to sell and mortgage their lands, goods, and whatsoever they have been possessed off, that a man might have worn out▪ Buff-jerkins in that sp●ce, & yet they seldom or never had an end of their suits, but have been fleeced and jeered out of their demeanes, so long as they could procure either money or friends, and yet it hath been carried so reatly and cunningly, as if the course of justice had been exactly performed.  
And for the Court of Exchequer, we are ablefurther to testise unto you (dear Father) out of our own knowledge, that it is one of the best Courts belonging to your infernal Kingdom, for if a suit be once commenced there, they have so many delays by putting in of Pleas, making of Mtions, putting off a suit from Term to Term, after a verdict given, or framing some excuses to arise from the Bench, when a Cause appointed for the day should be heard, or to cause Motion upon Motion to be made, whereby so many Orders of the Court must be drawn up, or pretending the Court not to be full, with other sinister devices and sleights there used; that we have known some men to have served an Apprenticeship, and been made Freemen, and also to have married Wives, and had children, and yet the suit formerly commenced not ended. Therefore, dear Father Pluto, be of good comfort, and take it not so much to heart, so long as you have such durifull children, and loving subjects; assuring yourself, that we will do our best endeavours to recover you of this Disease.  
Presently after this, there came a company of fellows with broad Seals about their necks, who were nominated to be Pluto's journeymen, and had the title of Pateatees, who also hearing that their Grand-Master was suddenly fall'n sick, presented themselves in all humble manner, the further to express their duty and obedience unto him; Relating unto their hellish Master, that according to their power and his appointment, they had ever been obedient and faithful servants unto him, in oppressing and squeezing the Commonwealth, and that they intended to continue therein, to the end of their days, and by what means they could possibly invent or devise, they would show themselves to be dutiful servants unto him, in racking, poling, and pinching the poor both in city and country, under pretence of doing good in general to the whole Commonwealth; and further declared unto their Grand-Master, that in all their projects whatsoever, they had sheltered themselves under some great Patron, the better to colour their fraud and deceit: and likewise, that in case they had any colour of setting the poor on work, for a general good, they might with authority and strictness the more covertly hid their cunning and knavery, and withal assured their great Master, that they would sit up late, rise early, and spare no pains to increase his Kingdom, and humbly craved his approbation, that they might be further employed either herein, or in what other business, in that nature it pleased him to command.  
Whereunto Pluto replied, that they had all done well, and left them at their own disposing to do what they found to be convenient, and so they were dispatched for the present.  
Not long after, Cerberus the Porter of Hell, brought tidings unto the palace of Pluto, that there was a post arrived with a packet of Letters from little Will; whereupon Don Antonio Demonibus, his chief Secretary of State, was presently sent for to read them unto Pluto, the contents whereof, as fare as could be gathered by those that were near about him, was to this effect, That the said little Will, with divers other great personages of the State, would with all convenient speed that might be, come in person to visit his greatness, and there to remain with him in his Court. Whereat Pluto being very glad, began to be somewhat cheerful at the hearing of this news, calling him by name the Son of his love, and further said, he had not thought to have seen him so soon, as now by his letters directed unto him he did expect: and thereupon Pluto's chief Secretary of state was commanded to send an answer of the said packet of Letters by the same post to little Will, and the other great personages of State aforesaid, how glad he would be of their appearance in his Court, and what courteous entertainment they should have when they came there. Then Pluto gave command, that the post should be Royally rewarded for his pains, and called the post to him, & asked him what diet little Will did delight in, because the place where I keep Court, is of a hotter Climate than he hath been in heretofore, the post made answer that little Will formerly▪ did desire tips of ears, but the Cook dressed them with the blood in them, and so he took a surfeit, and ever since lived at a sparing diet. And further told his Highness that he need not be at too much charge for little Wills diet, he took delight but in two dishes especially, and they were Lamb and Duck, and those he meant to bring with him. And suddenly upon the departure of the post with this answer, Pluto gave strict charge and command unto his infernal attendants, that divers fair Rooms should be presently trimmed up, and hanged round about with Tapestry and Cloth of Arras, for the better entertainment of little Will and his fellows, or any that came along with him. Then I was very desirous to know what this little Will was, at the first I could by no means learn, but at last I asked one that I supposed to be of Pluto's near attendants, if he knew him or no, he informed me, that he did not know him, but surely it was one that as yet had never been in Pluto's Court before, and verily believed that he had performed some extraordinary business in Pluto's behalf, and deserved to be highly advanced in his infernal Court, and also supposed him to be some great personage, otherwise he would never have received the Packet of Letters which he sent him, with such cheerfulness, nor have given such a strict command to his chief Secretary, and others his infernal servants, for his speedy and present entertainment to his Court.  
And notwithstanding the sudden expectation of little Wills coming into Pluto's Court and the rest of his fellows, which did not a little comfort and revive him in this his lingering sickness, yet Pluto found not all to be well in himself, but grew more and more to be perplexed and so wonderfully out of patience, that his ordinary attendants could hardly keep him in his Bed, insomuch, that all his Hellish Doctors were once again sent for to come with all speed unto him, who being come there, they found that he was very dangerously sick indeed, and that he was fallen into a grievous relapse, and that there was no means left to recover Pluto's health, and to restore him to his former strength again, or to enlarge his infernal Kingdom, but that by some device or other this present Parliament might be dissolved and broken up, which being fully agreed upon by all his Doctors they informed his Highness. That if ever he expected to regain his former estate, or to get any footing in England, he must with all speed call a general Council of all his infernal and well-beloved Subjects, that they might advise and consult what way were best that this present Parliament might be dissolved as aforesaid.  
Whereupon Cerberus by special command and appointment of Grand Pluto, had authority to set the gates of Hell wide open, and that all passengers whatsoever, (none to be denied) might freely have access to come and hear the will and pleasure of Pluto, and also Charon was commanded with all possible speed to provide himself of as many Boats as he could to ferry them from all parts and places to this purpose, and when there was a huge multitude of all sorts gathered together in a large and spacious place, one of the chief Heralds belonging to the internal court cried out unto the assembly with a loud voice, to crave a general silence, after which, Pluto thus began:  
My dear children, Servants, journeymen, and well approved Subjects, you see into what a low and weak estate I am brought, and as you have been dutiful and obedient with all diligence hitherto to execute my commands, so my desire is, that you would always continue unto the end, I cannot forget your care, true love, industry, and pains you have taken in general, for the enlargement of my Kingnome, and you my beloved Doctors, in endeavouring to perform your best skill, to recover my former health, as also you my dearest children whose Sanctity, we reverence, whose persons we adore, whose policies we wonder at, whose power we muse at, whose invincible Stratagems we stand amazed at, and whose Wisdoms we admire, neither can we but in the first place extol, applaud, and highly commend you, for your extraordinary care in advancing our infernal Dominions.  
And we are also pleased of our infernal grace and favour, to take notice of your great service done, in working the dissolution of the last Parliament, by which means nothing was effected for the good of the Heretics, either concerning the church or common wealth, but thereby the Nobles of England were malcontent, the Gentry discouraged, the Commons divided, the number of our servants, the Roman Catholics infinitely increased, and the whole Realm of England mightily oppressed; so as the success of our design was thereby no ways hindered.  
Now my well-beloved children, servants, journeymen, subjects, Allies, & all my well-willers whom soever, if you could by any Device, Stratagem, Policy, Money, Friendship, or any other delusive or sinister means, study to dissolve or break up this present Parljament, which would be the only way, as we conceive in our Diabolical Princely Wisdom, to break the bond of peace & unity amongst them, and thereby to move God to leave them to themselves, you should not only be enroled in our everlasting Calendar for our dearest children and Subjects, but also be placed near us in our favour for ever; and then also, to our great comfort, our infernal Stratagem might speedily be executed upon them, & our Kingdom mightily increased and enlarged.  
Therefore all you my dear children, subjects, attendants, and Allies, who are willing to do your best endeavours for the performing of this Enterprise; we require you to be ready to take the Oath ex officio, & to lay your hands upon the Book. Whereupon with a general acclamation & consent, they all promised to do what possible in them lay to perform his request, and affirmed, that they all were willing to consent to his demand, & therepon they laid their hands upon the Book. Then Pluto causing his principal attendants to raise him a little higher on his Pillow, proceeded on this manner: You my loving Subjects who have stepped aside, and made your legs your best protection, you also that are under the command of the Black Rod, and you that much fear you shall be questioned this present Parliament, and you my journeymen Patentees, and the rest of my loving Subjects here present, are you all willing to take the oath aforesaid for the breaking up of this Parliament, than they all cried with one voice; Willing, most willing, long live your Hellish Majesty, I believe you (said Pluto) take your hands from the Book, I dare take your bare words. Whereupon Pluto's great Counsel was called before his infernal Highness, and being assembled together, they all concluded, that forthwith a Proclamation should be sent abroad into all places in great Pluto's name, the tenor whereof followeth.  

TO the Pope, our right Trusty and well-beloved Son, and all the jesuitical Rabble, our adopted Children, to the Spaniard, Italian, French, Dutch, or what Nation people, or in what parts soever this shall come, these are to give notice, that whosoever can by any fraud, friendship, money, or any other means whatsoever, dissolve & break up this present Parliament, That thereby great Pluto may recover not only his former health, but that his Kingdoms and Dominions may also be enlarged, he sh●ll for so memorable an Act, be seated in place of judicature with his chief justice Rhadamantus; or next to Pluto himself, and forthwith be made Viceroy of Hell, prince of this world, Archduke of Styx, Acheron; & Phlegeton; marquis of Cocytus and Lethe; and sole Commander (under him) of all Infernal Spirits and Furies.  
And hereunto, we, the said Grand Pluto have set our Hand and Seal Royal, in the presence of all our Children, Friends and servants aforenamed.   
This being proclaimed with thundering Drums, and sound of Trumpets, awaked the honest Countryman, who having seen and observed in his Dream, all these passages and occurrents, lay for a while as it were in a trance, trembling and in a great ecstasy, at last recollecting his senses, he arose, and going from his chamber to go about his business, he met by chance with two of his own Countrymen, who had been a long time encumbered with Law-suites, unto whom he related this his Dream, with all the passages aforesaid, whereat they wondering, and much astonished, desired him to deliver unto them a Copy thereof in writing, which he promised, and performed the next day following.  
FINIS.