Counsellor Manners HIS LAST LEGACY TO HIS SON: Enriched and Embellished WITH Grave Advisoes, Pat Histories, and Ingenious Proverbs, Apologues, and Apophthegms.  
By JOSIAH DARE.  
Sunt bona, sunt quaedam mediocria, sunt mala plu●a,  
Quae legis hic: aliter non fit, Avite, liber.  Mart. Lib. 1. Epig. XVII. 
LONDON, Printed for Edward Gough, and are to be sold by most Booksellers in London. 1673.   

THE PREFACE TO THE READER.  
Courteous Reader,  
I Shall not according to the usual mode of those Epistles which are prefixed to printed Books, crave the patronage of any person whatsoever to this: for I hope that thou thyself, when thou hast perused it, wilt patronise it, considering the honesty and innocency of it; neither shall I dedicate it to any Right Worshipful or Right Honourable person, because I think it incongruous to present a small Book to a great Personage: Nor will I beg Pardon of any man for this my scribble, since I might have prevented it, if I would have refrained from dipping my Pen in mine Inkhorn, and indeed I esteem them unworthy to be pardoned who consultedly commit a fault, and then desire to be excused for it. All that I desire of thee is that thou wouldst take in good part, what is here offered thee in good will: The design of all Theologues in the Pulpit is, to teach men Grace; and it is mine out of it, to teach them Manners, and truly a moral life is a fair step to an holy one, and a good Behaviour to a sanctified Conversation. Unmannerly Clowns are, like Bear's Cubs, mere lumps of flesh, till they be licked into a more comely shape; and ill tutored persons are like rough hewn Statues you shall scarce perceive the lineaments of a man in them, till they be wrought smooth and polished. 
Good manners make the man,  
Quoth William of Wickham.   
Be a man never so brave in his Apparel, if his Deportment be not answerable, he is as ridiculous an Object as a Monkey or a Baboon in a Scarlet Coat, with a Tiffany Ruff about his neck; good Manners adorn those very things that most adorn us, for what is a Gold Ring in a Swine's snout. Since than I present thee here with such Jewels as will set thee forth and gain thee honour and respect amongst all persons, with whom thou shalt converse; I hope thou wilt in manners accept them kindly, as well for thine own sake, as for his who here subscribes himself  
Thine affectionate friend and humble Servant JOSIAH DARE.   

THE Grave Counsellors LAST LEGACY TO HIS SON.  
THere dwelled sometimes in this Island of Britain, an ancient Gentleman, called Counsellor Manners, a Man of a very fair Estate, who being both aged, and sickly, found such weakness in himself, that he thought Nature would yield unto Death, and Physic unto his Diseases: this Gentleman had one only Son, who nothing resembled the Qualities of his Father; which the old Man perceiving, he caused him to be called to his Bed side, and the Chamber being voided, he broke with him in these Terms.  
1. My Son thou art too young to Die, and I am too old to Live, and therefore as Nature must of necessity pay her Debt to Death, so must she also pay her Devotion to thee; whom I alive, had to be the Comfort of mine Age, and whom alone I must leave behind me, to be the only Monument of my Name, and Honour. If thou couldst as well conceive the care of a Father, as I can levelly at the Nature of a Child, or were I as able to utter my Affection towards thee, as thou oughtest to show thy Duty to me, then wouldst thou desire my Life, to enjoy my Counsel; and I should correct thy Life, to amend thy Conditions: yet so tempered, as that neither Rigour might detract any thing from Affection in me, or Fear any whit from thee in Duty. But seeing myself so feeble, that I cannot live to be thy Guide, I am resolved to give thee such Counsel as may do thee good: wherein I shall show my care, and discharge my Duty. My good Son, thou art to receive by my Death Wealth, and by my Counsel Wisdom; and I would thou wert as willing to imprint the one in thy Heart, as thou wilt be ready to bear the other in thy Purse: to be rich is the Gist of Fortune, to be wise the Grace of God. Have more mind on thy Books▪ than on thy Bags, more desire of Godliness than Gold, greater affection to die well, than live wantonly.  
II. Behave thyself as becomes one of thy Birth, for if thou vauntest of thy Lineage, and titular Dignity, and wantest the Virtues of thy Ancestors, thou art but as a base serving Man, who carries on his sleeve the badge of some Noble Family, yet is himself but an ignoble person. In which respect Aristotle discoursing of Nobility, makes four parts thereof; the first of Riches, the second of Blood, the third of Learning, the fourth of Virtue. And to the two last he ascribeth the first place of true Gentry, because Boors may be rich, and Rakehell's may be of ancient blood, but Virtue and Knowledge cannot harbour, but where God and Nature hath left their noble endowments. It was the saying of old English Chaucer, that to do the gentle deeds, that makes the Gentleman. Have what thou wilt, without these thou art but a three-half-penny fellow: Gentry without Virtue is blood indeed, but blood without fat, blood without Sinews; blood is but the body of Gentility, excellency of Virtue is the Soul: and as Virtue is the high way to honour, so without it honour falls down in the dust: and therefore when Hermodius a Nobleman born, but of a deboist life, upbraided the valiant Captain Iphicrates, for that he was a Shoemaker's Son, he knowing that it was more commendable, to be made honourable for virtue, than born noble by blood, replied, In me my Gentility begins, in thee thine ends. Be the birth never so base, yet honesty and virtue is free from disgrace; be the birth never so great, yet dishonesty and vice is subject to dishonour: therefore since thou art well descended by thy birth, prove not base, either by bad vices of thine own, or lewd devices of other men: take thy great Birth, to be an obligation of great Virtue; suit thy behaviour unto it; ennoble thy Parentage with Piety; and since true Honour must come of thyself, and not of others worth▪ work out thine own Glory by performing good deeds; and stand not upon what thou dost borrow of thy Predecessors, if thou reach not the Goodness of those which gave thee outward Glory, and dost not so much honour thy House, with the glory of thy Virtues, as thy House hath honoured the with the title of thy Degree; but dost as a noisome Weed grow the ranker because thou springest out from a rich soil, know thou art but a wooden Dagger, put into a gaudy sheath, to help fill up the place, when that of good metal is lost, and can no more be found. If thou dost not learn Patri●are, and let my Virtue mix with thy blood; know thou art but as a painted Fire, which may become the Wall, but gives no light to the beholder: and that the greater my Honour and Reputation was, the greater will thy blemish be, if thou come short of my Merits: for thou art guilty of neglecting so good a Precedent. Remember what Dionysius King of Sicily said to his Son, whom he knew to have committed Adultery, Didst thou (saith he) ever find such a thing in thy Father? the Son (as though he would make his height and grandeur, a privilege of looseness, and as though it were no matter whether men were good, so they were great,) answered, oh (said he) you had not a King to your Father, neither (said the Father) shall thy Son, except thou turn over a new leaf, and take a better course, ever be King. And again remember what King Edward the First said to John Earl of Athol, who was nobly descended, having committed a Murder upon John Cominaeus, The higher thy calling is, the greater must be thy fall, and as thou art of higher parentage, so shalt thou be the higher hanged: and so he was on a Gallows 50. Foot high. And as I would have thee remember the foregoing Examples, so likewise this ensuing one, of Boleslaus the fourth King of Poland, who bore the Picture of his Father hanged about his Neck in a plate of gold, and when he was to do any thing, he took this Picture, and kissing it said, Dear Father, I wish I may not do any thing that is base, or unworthy of thy Name.  
III. Be acquainted with good carriage, let thy behaviour be civil, and inoffensive, unto those in whose Company thou art, to that end do nothing which may be unpleasant, and offensive to their Senses.  
And first of the Sense of Hearing, offend not the Ears of the Company with talking loud like a Clown, for it savours not of a Gentleman so to do; besides, it may draw upon thee, the aspersion of being a Fool, according to that Grecians saying, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, the loudest talkers are none of the wisest Men, forbear also singing, especially if thy voice be harsh, and untunable; for who will be taken with the braying of an Ass, or the notes of a Cuckoo? If in Company thou chance to gape, put thy hand before thy Mouth, and continue not thy discourse while thou art gaping, for that is both ridiculous, and to many as offensive, as the gaping of a stinking Oyster: neither when thou gapest, yawl, and roar, as some do, for that ill beseems a Man; briefly, as much as in the lies, refrain from gaping often in Company, that those thou dost converse with, may not fancy that the Oven is gotten into the Parlour, or that one of the wide mouthed Antics over the Church Porch, is come amongst them. Neither sneeze or cough too loud, and violently if thou canst help it, but (if possible) repress it, lest thou besprinkle with the dew of thy Lungs, his face that stands by thee.  
IU. And as thou must not offend the Sense of Hearing, so likewise thou must neither offend that of Seeing; be not seen with a drop hanging at thy nose, like an Iceicle on the Eaves of an House; neither pick thy Teeth, or blow thy Nostrils aloud, when thou sittest at the Table, nor look into thine Handkerchief, as if thou hadst blown out a Pearl, or Carbuncle; neither when thou dost arise from thence, openly unbutton, or unhasp thy Breeches, as if thou wert in haste to ease Nature; nor return to the Company, from the necessary House in the Garden, with thy Hose untied; for this carries with it a show of immodesty in thyself, and of disrespect to others; let not therefore the impudent Dog that cares not before whom he exonerates his Belly, be thy Precedent, but rather let the modest Cat be a Pattern to thee of more civility, which, as soon as me hath eased herself, doth presently hide and bury her Excrements. If thou art walking with any one, and shalt see any thing that's filthy in the way, thou shalt not presently turn and show it him; neither shalt thou bring any odious or loathsome thing to others, that they may see it or smell to it.  
V. For thou must be careful that thou offend not this Sense of Smelling also; never at the Table smell to the Meat that's carved to thee; for this is very offensive, to those that have invited thee, and seems to put an affront upon them, as if what they had provided for thine Entertainment did stink: I remember how a Lady returned the affront upon a Gentleman that did so; for when she espied him to smell to the Meat she had carved to him, she said aloud before all her Guests, Sir, if you smell any thing that is offensive, it is your own Breath reflected from your Trencher.  
VI The next Sense is that of Tasting, which thou must take heed of offending; never give him to whom thou drinkest, an empty Cup or Glass; for that will argue to many an empty Pericranium: neither give to any one a Pear, an Apple, a Peach, or an Apricock, which thou hast bitten; let Kings only have their Tasters. Smack not with thy lips in chewing thy meat, for so feeds the Swine at his Trough; neither let thy fingers be knuckle deep in the Sauce, for that is loathsome, and savours of Slovenry, or that thou hast been better fed than taught. Rub not thy Bread between thine Hands into Crumbs and Mammocks, as if thou wert rather to feed Chickens than thyself; but especially abstain from doing so, when thou art to put thy bread into a Mess of Broth, or Cream, brought to the Table, lest the sweeting of thy hands may seem to make it Bread and Butter too.  
VII. Let thy Man that waits on the at the Table, observe these Instructions; when he gives thee Wine, Beer, or Ale, let him not clum the Glass or Cup, in his fist, but with an even and steady hand, present it to thee on a fair Plate or Trencher; and be sure that he fills them not over-full, for that is called Pisspot Measure: tell him that he must not cough, spit, or sneeze, when he presents thee that liquor which thou callest for, and that he must not be slippery fingered, for so he may sauce thy clothes; the first thing to be learned in Falconry, is, to hold fast. When he takes a Tost, or a roasted Apple from the fire, he must not blow upon it to blow off the Ashes, for men are wont to say, that there is never Wind without some Water: let him rather strike off, and brush off the Ashes. Let him be neat in his clothes, let his Hands and Face be clean, for the slovenry of the Servant, redounds to the shame and disgrace of the Master; and men will be apt to say, like Master, like Man. Briefly, if thou wouldst have him to be a good Serving Man indeed, urge him to observe these four things, 

1. Speak when I speak to thee.  
2. Come when I call thee.  
3. Do what I bid thee.  
4. Shut the door after thee.    
But to return to thyself, and to the last Sense, which is of Touching, or Feeling.  
VIII. And this Sense thou must as little offend as any of the other four: when thou art talking with another, stand not so near unto him, that thou mayst touch him with thy Breath, for thy breath may peradventure offend him, more than thy words may please him: neither in thy Discourse sulch him, or punch him with thy Elbows, as if thou wouldst rather beat it into his sides, than into his Ears; for this is prodigiously offensive to Personages of Quality▪ Besides these, there are also things done without any peculiar trouble to the Senses, and yet they displease most men and therefore are to be avoided.  
IX. Sleep not in that place where there is good Company, which may delight, or teach thee by their discourses; lest either thou mayst seem to have taken a Cup of Nimis, or little regardest the present Company; or their talk; besides it is often seen, that sweat runs down the faces, and spittle down the Beards of such Sleepers, which is no pleasant sight, and they commonly snort and rout which is no pleasant hearing.  
X. Pull not out of thy Pocket now this Letter or Epistle, now that, neither take a Book by thyself in the Window, and read it; nor compose thy whole body to cut thy Nails with thy Scissors or thy Knife, as if thou esteemest not those who are with thee, or their discourse; and therefore to pass away the time, thou seekest for some other employment or avocation.  
XI. When thou sittest down, turn not thy Back to another's Face, neither rest or lean upon another, as on a prop, making him thy leaning stock, lest thou receive the like taunt, which a Gentleman passed upon a Clown, that leaned hard upon him, Pray friend when you have done with my shoulder, let me have it again.  
XII. Imitate as much as thou canst the Custom of thy Country, and People, in the adorning and attire of thy Body, although the clothes that are used are of less profit, or are not so fit unto the body as the old were, or did seem to be; if all the Country cut their Hair short, I would not have thee wear thine long, and if they wear long Hair, I would not have thee clip thine even to thy Ears, which would make thee show like a Duckatoon, as Mr. Cleaveland doth express it. For that is to be singular and contrary unto others, which thou shouldst not be, unless it be by some necessity, for this will render the most ridiculous and contemptible unto others, and prove thee to be as humoursom as the Cynic Diogenes, who would always go against a crowd, because he would be contrary to all others: it is better in many things to swim with the stream, than crossly and perversely with the Sturgeon, always swim against it: for thou wilt be accounted nothing, if thou opposest the public Customs of all. Do thou therefore accommodate, or fashion thyself unto them, in a certain Mediocrity, and be not thou the only He in thy Country, who hast thy Coat hanging down to thy Ankles, when others have it scarce hanging down to their Knees, neither wear it very short, when others wear it very long: let not thy Beaver be made with a steeple Crown, whilst the Crowns of other men's Hats are flat and couchant, lest they that meet thee take thee for a stalking antic, or an Image broke loose from an old piece of Arras. Let thy clothes be neat, fit, and fashionable, not over-gaudy, that the wiser sort of men may not take the for the King's Jester. When one was at the Printing House, busy to prepare a course Treatise for the Press, whose margin was all filled with citing of Authors, a learned Man came in, to whom he presented a Sheet, desiring him to peruse it, and give him his true Judgement of it, the Gentleman having cast his eye over the Paper, told him, that the lace was better than the Cloth; to apply this, I know that many Gallants of the Town, upon the coorsest Cloth set the richest Lace, which I take to be a great vanity, and therefore not sit for thy Imitation; rather let the Cloth thou wearest be rich, and thou thyself the best triming to it.  
XIII. Wear not Clothes or Jewels, which are not fit for thy place or degree; there are some who wear Chains of Gold about their Necks, Rings upon their Fingers, their Garments being hung with Jewels, who will be Clothed in Purple for Ostentation, and fine linen for Delectation, who will go beyond their Degree and place, beyond the Rate of their Living, the State of their Calling, and the Rule of good Laws, so that they seem to be Great and Noble Men, when they are no better than a pitiful Barber, or some finical French dancing Master; resembling the Foxes and Polecats, whose Cases are more worth than their whole Bodies besides: he never goes seemly, that cuts not his Coat according to his Cloth.  
XIV. Love not thyself too much, and above measure, for if thou dost, there will be left no place in thine heart, to love others as thou shouldst: neither be scornful, nor disdainful; for to live with scornful and disdainful Men, whose friendship is as easily broken as a rotten thread, is not to live with them as Friends, but as Slaves.  

Spernere Mundum, spernere nullum, spernere Seize,  
Spernere se sperni, quatuor ista beant,  
If thou despise the World thyself,  
If thou none else despire,  
If thou despise, thou art despised,  
These four will make the wise.   
XV. I therefore advise thee to be humble, Humility is of an excellent good Nature, and hath a singular obligingness in its constitution, it will make thee acceptable to all men; dost thou not see how intolerable the proud are, and what is the reason of it? but because they scorn all that are not of their Rank; they cannot be obliged, because they think, that whatsoever thou dost is due to their merit; they would be beloved by all, without loving any; they will command in all companies, they will teach all, but learn of none; they are incapable of gratitude, and think thou art honoured sufficiently for all thy services, if they do but receive them, and give thee a gracious nod; but the humble man is the most agreeable person upon earth, thou obligest him by a good word, which he thinks he does not deserve; he is thankful for the smallest courtesy, had rather obey than rule, he is desirous to learn of the meanest Scholar, he despises none but himself; he loves though he be not beloved, and thinks nothing too much to do for them that esteem him, and have showed him any civilities; of all Vice's Pride is the worst, especially where it is not backed with worth and good Parts: Aristotle espying a rich young man, but altogether unlearned; strutting along the Streets, with a proud affected gate, and his eyes so elevated towards Heaven, as if he would have snuffed up the Moon, came to him, and whispering him in the ear, said Friend such as thou thinkest thyself to be, I wish I were; but to be as thou art, I wish only to mine Enemy. Pride is like the precedency of Funerals, he that puts himself foremost is likely the Mourner: King Lewis the Eleventh was wont to say, When pride rides in the Saddle, shame and confusion rides on the Crupper. He that climbs high had need take heed to his sure footing, for the higher he mounts the greater will be his squelsh.  
XVI. Thou mayst err divers ways in thy discourse, to the end therefore that thou mayst avoid it, I will give thee these following Instructions.  
Let not thy talk be frivolous, but especially let it not be lewd, it is a deadly sign or symptom when a man's filthy Excrements come forth at his mouth; one observes, that the discourses of some are so foul and obscene, that some one or other as little acquainted with God, as themselves, will be apt to conclude, that Nature spoilt them in the making, in setting their mouths at the wrong end of their Bodies: and certainly it is a sign of a corrupted and putrefied soul within, whence there steams out so much odious and stinking breath. It becomes honest men to please others with civil and chaste language.  
Neither let thy talk by any means be against God or his Saints, his Word or his Ministers either in jest or in earnest, for if thou talk so in earnest, thou wilt show thyself Atheistical, and if in jest, thou wilt thereby show thyself Profane: Leave this, and domnation to boot, to the Hectors of the times. I myself have many times observed, that some (who I am persuaded truly feared and adored the Majesty of the most high) have often forsook the place, where there was as well talk of God as against him.  
Neither do thou call the dreadful and omnipotent God for a Witness to every frivolous matter, nor do thou in thy familiar discourse, swear vainly by his most sacred Name; he that usually swears to gain credit, will be sure to lose it. For as we say, Show me a Liar, and I will show thee a Thief; so we may say, Show me a common Swearer, and I will show thee a common Liar: this horrid Vice like a two edged Sword will do thee mischief two ways; for it will make thee odious first to God, and then also to all good men.  
Begin no talk before thou hast considered the form of it in thy mind, true consideration is the Tutor both to acting and speaking, and a great Enemy both to untimely Actions and Narrations: consider therefore the Matter of thy Discourse, the Manner of it, the End of it, the Persons of whom, and to whom thou speakest. 'Twas sound and good counsel, that the Lyric Poet gave us in one of his Epistles, 
Quod de quiq viro, & cui dicas saepè caveto.  When thou dost talk of any man take care. Of whom, to whom, and what thy speeches are.  
At merry meetings shun the relating of melancholy matters, but let thy discourse be genial and frolic fit for such Times and Places; it were far better to be silent, than to relate such things as may contristate their minds, who are met only for the sake of mirth and jollity; neither do thou at a Feast preach temperance, or talk at the Table of nauseous things, for these are as much the Tricks and Devices of a Glutton, as it would be for a man to spit in his Pottage, that he might eat them all by himself, and deter others from eating with him: briefly, when thou art in company observe these two things, 
First, Hold no Arguments.  
Secondly, Lay no Wagers.   
For these have often been the breach of friendship. Take heed that thou do not do as those, who have nothing else in their mouths but their Children, their Wise, their Nurse, saying, O how my little Boy did move me to laugh yesterday▪ you never heard one of his age talk so wittily in your life, neither did you ever see a Boy more amiable than my little Tommy: but especially run not out in the commendations of thy Wife, what a good Huswife she is, what a Wise and understanding Woman, and how beautiful, and yet how chaste she is, that never man had her peer, this is as great a folly as to brag of thy Gold amongst Thiefs and Robbers: remember how it cost Candaules dear, even his life, for showing his beautiful Wife to Gyges. Besides no body can be so idle, as to answer these things, or to give his mind to such trifles, and there is no one but must needs be affected with trouble to hear them.  
Use not in thy discourse certain common Places and Themes wherein thou art good, but shalt want variety, which kind of Poverty is for the most part tedious, and when once found out and observed ridiculous; thou must talk of many matters not always harp upon one string, he that always sings one Note without descant, breedeth no delight; he that always plays one part bringeth loathsomeness to the ear, it is variety that moveth the minds of all men; vary therefore and intermingle thy speech with Reasons, Tales, ask of Questions, telling of Opinions, and mixing jest with earnest, for it is a dull thing to tyre and as we say to jade any thing too far. Recite not thy stories again and again, for this is as Nauseous as it would be to feed a man, as a Nurse doth her Child with meat chewed over and over; though the Rose be sweet, yet being tied with the Violet the smell is more fragrant, though meat nourisheth, yet having good sauce it provoketh appetite, the fairest Nosegay is made of many Flowers, the finest Picture of sundry colours, the wholesomest Medicine of divers ingredients, and so the best discourse consists of various things.  
My Son, as for jesting there are certain things, which ought to be privileged from it; namely Religion (of which I have already spoken) matters of State, great Persons, any man's present business of importance, and any case that deserveth pity: for to jeer at him that is miserable is inhuman, and as great a cruelty, as it would be to flay a man first, and afterwards to salt him. Yet there are some that think their wits have been asleep, unless they dart out something that is piquant, and to the quick: this is an humour which should be bridled, and generally men ought to find the difference between saltness and bitterness; certainly he that hath a satirical vein, as he maketh others afraid of his wit, so hath he need to be afraid of others memory. To jest is tolerable, but to do hurt by jesting is insufferable; yet many there are, that will lose their friend rather than their Jest, or their Quibble, Pun, Punnet, or Pundigrion, fifteen of which will not make up one single jest. This like cursed Cham, first lays open a man's nakedness, and then exposes it to the scorn and laughter of others.  
As there are some who cannot jest, so there are others who cannot bear a jest, of whom beware, lest whilst thou breakest thy jest they break thy Pate: Non tutum est scribere in eos, qui possunt proscribere (said an old Roman) which is in effect▪ as much as to say, meddle not with those that can avenge themselves upon thee, for thy drollery upon them; they that will irritate such Wasps, may smart by their stings, but shall never taste of their Honey. Qui mockat mockabitur, though it be but a piece of Mock-Latine, yet it is experimentally found to be a serious Truth; for those that will be always jeering and flouting at others, commonly meet with a Match for their Game Cock: As amongst an hundred more will appear by this one instance; Three University Youngsters, who because they had run through the Predicables and Predicaments, thought themselves as wise as Solomon, had gotten into the best Room in an Inn, where they were very merry, after them came riding into the same Inn a grave Country Parson with a long white Beard, and being alone, craved leave by mine Host to be admitted into their Company; to which they gladly condescended, resolving within themselves to make themselves very merry with the old Country Rat, as they termed him; whom coming into their Room they thus accosted, the first with a low Lout said, Welcome Father Abraham, the second, welcome Father Isaac, the third, welcome Father Jacob, to whom the old Stager replied, Gentlemen, you are all mistaken; for I am neither Abraham, Isaac, nor Jacob, but my Name is Saul, who hath been seeking my Father's Asses, and lo here I have found them.  
There are some that will answer others contrary to what they expect, and that without any wit at all; as if one shall ask of a Servant, Where is thy Master? he should answer in his skin: how doth the Wine taste? as if it were moist: how camest thou hither? upon my legs. These and many other like these avoid carefully; It is better to say nothing than that which is nothing worth. When any one of thy Company tells a story, take heed thou rejoin not (as some usually do) saying now, Sir, you have done telling your story, I will tell you another, and it is a true one; for that is little better than to give him the lie: and may with some hot Spurs give them a ground to quarrel with thee. When thou dost relate a Tale or Jest, omit the Oaths that are sometimes mingled with it; for he that would cleanly and safely feed, will first pair his Apple, and then cut out the Core, and what is wormeaten. If thy merry Tales, witty Sayings, and pleasant Jests are not approved of by the laughter of those that are with thee, thou shalt forthwith leave: briefly laugh not out at thy own Jests, for this will sooner make thyself ridiculous, than thy Company merry.  
Be not impertinent as some, who when they relate a story, will say him of whom I speak, was the Son of this or that man, who lives in such a place, do you not know the man? he hath a Wife and Children, he is a tall man, and something ancient; truly if you know him not, you know no body, I know such a man knows him very well: all this is but beating about the Hedge, but no catching the Bird.  
In thy Discourse thou must use as much as thou canst words that are proper, and express a thing according to Art; that thou mayst not therefore talk like a Clown in the Company of Gentlemen, I advise thee to be skilful in the terms of Heraldry, Hawking and Hunting, lest thou make thyself as ridiculous by using improper terms, as the Frenchman was, when he called to the Maid to cleanse his Chamber, saying, he had untrust a point there.  
Never talk French, Latin, or Italian at the Table, or in the Company of those who understand neither of these Languages; for this will either argue Ostentation in thyself, or make those with whom thou dost converse jealous, that thou talkest no good of them. I have heard of one that was fitted in his kind for this folly, who drinking to a grave Matron, said, Come, Madam, here is an Health omnibus Nebulonibus, & Nebulonibus nostris, to whom she replied, I thank you, Sir, not forgetting your Father and your Mother.  
Use not flat and mean expressions, when thou art talking of great and illustrious things, or such as require more full ones. When Seneca heard a dull Fellow describing a Tempest at Sea, after a very mean rate, he laughed at him, and told him; Sir, I have seen a greater tempest in a Pail of Milk than you have described. Of this fault also was that French man guilty, who styled Christ the Dauphin of Heaven: and he who called the Sun the Lantern of the World, of the two he had been better to have said the Moon; for few men make use of a Lantern by day, unless it be as Diogenes did to seek for an honest man. Another there is who tells us, that the body is the Socket of the Soul, which is but a greasy and stinking Metaphor; and a thousand more like these could I here reckon up to thee, but the following one shall serve for all, which is this, I remember that when I was a Schoolboy one of my Fellows was well whipped, because in a Copy of Verses upon the Gunpowder Treason, he called Guydo Fawks for attempting to blow up the Parliament▪ House, a very Knave. Werefore remember I advise thee to adequate and adapt all thine expressions, as the Grandeur of the matter that thou speakest of doth duly require.  
Begin no talk, unless thou art able to continue it, lest thou do as that Rump-Parliament-man, who all the while he sat in the House, would start up at every thing proposed, and say, Mr. Speaker, I conceive, and so without speaking any more words would sit down again; upon which another Member of the House stood up, and said, Mr. Speaker, this Gentleman doth still conceive, but hath never strength to bring forth. Farther, be sure to know when to begin Talk, and when to end it, that thou mayst avoid that Vice, which Songsters are guilty of, who being entreated will scarce sing Sol Fa, but not desired will strain above Ela; for which the Satirist doth thus stigmatize them, 
— They can't abide to sing a Song,  
If they're entreated, but they'll ne'er give o'er,  
If not desired—  Be not thou either so Morose as not to talk at all, or if thou hast once begun so tedious as never to make an end, but to keep a perpetual noise as Crickets do in the Chimney-corner; a man had as good have a Drum always beating in his ears, as be troubled with such impertinent Coxcombs. The wisdom next to speaking well, is to know when to begin and when to end; therefore keep measure in thy Communication, if thou art too brief thou shalt not be understood, if too long thou wilt be tedious.  
XVII. Neither do thou follow the Example of those, who will prefer themselves in all things above others, who will put themselves in the best Beds, in the best Chambers, and in the highest Places, & will like nothing but what they themselves invent or do, but will set aside and suspend others with a Jest, and will have themselves accounted best in solemn Feasts or Banquets, in Horsemanship, in Plays, and in all Refreshments of the Body and Exercises of the Mind to excel all others, and boast much of what they have, and what they have done; which things are odious, and therefore I advise thee to avoid them: and remember that nothing makes a man's breath stink worse than commendations of himself. Speech of thyself ought to be seldom and well chosen. I knew one, saith Sir Francis Bacon, who was wont to say in scorn; he must needs be a wise man he speaks so much of himself: and there is but one case wherein thou mayst commend thyself with good Grace, and that is in commending Virtue in another, especially if it be such a Virtue whereunto thou thyself pretendest.  
Never speak well of thyself, unless thou be taxed for any dishonesty by a slanderous Tongue; for a man may tell his Slanderer, that he is as honest a man as himself, or any of his Generation; and if a man shall say I am an honest man, he is not to be taxed of vainglory; but if he say I am a learned man, or I am a wise man, he will show himself to be very vain; so than a man may praise himself as to his Morals, but not as to his Intellectuals.  
XVIII. Resemble not those, who when a Question is proposed unto them, are so long before they give their Opinion, that they prove very troublesome in making a very long Circumstance or Excuse, saying, Sirs, I am the unworthiest and the unlearnedest in the whole Company, here are Gentlemen who are far worthier and far more learned than I am, and are better able to answer the Question propounded (when indeed he is by the confession of all, the learnedest there, and best able to give a resolution) yet for the sake of obedience I shall willingly submit myself to your commands, whilst these and many other vain Preambles are made, they put a stop to the present business, and in that time the Question might have been answered: when a Fiddler is long and tedious in tuning his Fiddle, who will care for his Music?  
XIX. Be not thou like those who are so heady, sharp, sullen, and rough, that nothing can please them, howsoever or by whomsoever it is done; who, whatsoever is said unto them, do answer with a grim or sour countenance; and in whosoevers company they are, chide their Servants, nay sometimes beat them, so that they disturb the whole company, to whom all humours are odious, but what are Debonair: and to jar, scold, and ruffle with those about thee, just when thy Guests are ready to sit down at thy Table, is as if thou shouldst scrape thy Trenchers to set their Teeth on edge, before they begin to eat their meat: be not angry at thy Table whatsoever happens, but rather contain thyself and dissemble it, lest there should a sign of trouble appear in thy countenance, and so thy Guests be induced to believe, that some in the company are not so welcome as they should be: but rather be merry and facetious at thy Meals, for this like Poignant sauce will make thy Meal the more savoury.  
XX. Be not contrary to others desires, neither oppose the delights of others; when they talk of what Sports they most delight in, do not thou undervalue them, nor, if they desire thee to make one at their Recreations, refuse their desires; for that argues morosity; complacency is hugely pleasing to all those, with whom we converse, and one jarring string spoils the harmony of a whole set of Music.  
XXI. Be not rough or strange but rather pleasant and familiar, accustom thyself to salute every one very kindly, to talk with them and answer them very pleasantly and familiarly; it is a true token of Nobility and the certain mark of a Gentleman to be courteous to all, and especially to Strangers. Themistocles was so full of courtesy, that he never entered the Marketplace, without saluting every Citizen by his name, or some other friendly compellation; as a Bell is known by the sound, so is a man's Gentility by his courteous affability. Ferdinando King of Spain was wont to say, that proud looks lose hearts, but courteous words win them. Courtesy will drew unto thee the love of Strangers, and the good liking of thine own Countrymen.  
XXII. Avoid the custom of many, who will always be of a sad countenance, and will never be merry with their friends, but refuse all things that are offered to make them merry, and when any one sends commendations unto them, they will answer the Messenger, what am I the better for his commendations? and if any one tells them that such or such a friend of late asked for them, whether they were in good health or no, they will answer he may come and see if he please.  
XXIII. Thou must not be melancholy, and thoughty in that place, where any one is, as if thou wert snatched and placed without thyself; yea although this may be born with in those, who have spent many years, in the consideration and contemplation of the Liberal Arts and Sciences, yet I tell thee in others without doubt, it is not to be approved of, yea thou dost well at that time, in which thou thinkest to meditate, to go in from the company of others, either into thy Study or some other solitary Place, the solitary Nightingale sings sweetest, when all other Birds are fast asteep.  
XXIV. Be not of too nice and delicate a Mind, and too precise in thy discourse, for I say that talk with such men, as are so, is rather a Bondage than an equal Society: there are some who are so nice and curious in all their words and actions, that to live and converse with them, is no other than to be surrounded with brittle Glasses, so that men greatly fear to touch them, they must handle and observe them very softly and gently, they must fitly and carefully salute them, visit them, and answer their questions, otherwise they will be very angry; they are so delighted with their titles, that unless any one shall have them at his finger's ends, and use them at every word, they will be displeased, nay they will scarce answer him, or if they do it will be thus, I truly (as thou knowest) am called Master, but thou dost forget to put a M under thy Girdle.  
Take heed of lying, for if thou usest this vice often, thou wilt lose thy credit amongst all men; the Persians and Indians deprived him of all honour and further speech, that lied. Homer writeth of the great and valiant Captain Achilles, that he did more abhor lying than death: remember how that the Cretans for lying became a byword to the whole world; much less do thou add to thy lying execrable wishes; Munster writeth of Popiel the Second, King of Poland, who had ever this word in his mouth▪ if it be not true, I would the Rats might eat me, but shortly after being at a Banquet, he was so fiercely assailed by Rats, that neither his Guard, Fire, or Water could preserve him from them. Neither be thou like those Jesters, who practice lying and telling strange inventions of their own, which are most false, to please for a time the Hearers; nor like those who devise and spread false News, and account it good sport to deceive the simple; but be thou slow to tell News and Tales; whatsoever thou seest or hearest of others, either meddle not with it, but strive to be quiet and do thine own business; or if it so concern thee, that thou must needs speak of it, take heed that thou do not mistake any part of it, many things are so spoken, that they may be taken well or ill, yea and what can be said but some one or other may turn it into an evil Meaning? as the Spider that out of the best Flowers will suck some Poison: but be thou of the mind to take every thing the best way, and as it were by the right handle; knowing that it is the Devil's property to make the worst of every thing. Thou mayest be deceived in what thou hearest another speak; because thou canst not see the Heart and Meaning of the Person, much more in that which thou hast of him by Hear-say, for Reports are commonly very faulty, and seldom hold truth in all points; and those that told it thee, are apt to deny it again, if thou hast not witness, and so thou mayest run thyself into great trouble: therefore imitate Epimenides the Painter, who after his return from Asia, being enquired of News, answered, I stand here to sell Pictures not to tell News.  
Neither follow thou the example of vain Travellers and Praters, who merely out of vanity, and because they would say something, set such things as they have seen or heard upon the tenterhooks, stretching them most palpably beyond all credit, or coining incredible things out of their own Mint, that never before saw any light, and have no more affinity with Truth, than the opinion of Copernicus of the motion of the earth; or that Relation of our Countryman of the New World in the Moon, or of Domingo Gonzales, and his flight thither upon the Wings of his Ganzas: I have read of a Knight (who shall be nameless) that rendered himself ridiculous by this Means; for using to make multiplying Glasses of what he in his long and great Travels had observed,▪ professed that he once conversed with a Hermit who was (in the opinion of all men) able to commute any Metal into Gold with a Stone he kept still hanging at his Girdle: and being asked of what kind it was, and not readily answering, the witty Lord of Saint Alban standing by said, he did verily believe it was a Whetstone.  
Make not Lies upon thy self as many do, boasting vaingloriously of themselves, praising their knowledge and bragging of what great acts they have done, as if they only were wise, when alas it is well known they are otherwise; such men may fitly be compared to the Bell in the Clockhouse at Westminster, which had this Inscription about it,  

King Edward made me,  
Thirty thousand and three,  
Take me down and weigh me,  
And more shall ye find me.   
But when this Bell was taken down and weighed, this and two more, were found not to weigh twenty thousand: Such vainglory as this being like a Window Cushion specious without, but stuffed with Hay within, or some such Trash; wherefore when a Soldier bragged of a Wound in his Forehead, Augustus asked him, whether he did not get it, when he looked back as he fled.  
XXVI. Go not vauntingly and proudly as some, who go as if they were the only men of their Country, and speak and look very high and losty when they have scarce any home to go to, or any thing to maintain their Highness and Lostiness, imitating the Spaniards who are highly conceited of themselves, great Bragger's, and extremely proud even in the lowest ebb of Fortune, which appeareth by the Tale of the poor Cobbler on his death bed, who commanded his eldest Son coming to him for his last Blessing, to endeavour to retain the honour worthy so noble a Family; also a Woman of that Country attended on by three of her Brats, went a begging from door to door some French Merchants travelling that way, and pitying her case, offered her to take into their Service the bigger of her Boys, but she proud, though poor, scorning (as she said) that any of her Lineage should endure an Apprenticeship, returned this answer, that for aught she or any knew her Son (simple as he stood there) might live to be King of Spain; such Braggadocios as these, are like the Peacock, who though he be hatched on a Dunghill, yet is he the proudest of Birds: Nay some of these are so proud that they are ashamed of their Parents, resembling those Beasts who think themselves well hid, if they can but hide their Heads: never remembering Sir Thomas Moor who being Lord Chancellor in his time, and consequently in an Office, next and immediately to the King himself, and having his own Father living, and at that time but one of th● inferior Judges of the King's Bench (that then was) never went to Westminster Hall, to sit in the Chancery there, but he would go up to the King's Bench, where his Father then sat, and there on his Knees would ask him blessing before a multitude of beholders; so little was he ashamed of his Father, though then in a far lower Condition than himself.  
XXVII. Take heed of being too ceremonious and complimental, lest thou give others an occasion to think, that thou art full of Craft because thou art full of Courtesy; the bowings, bend, and cringings of some resemble but such gestures as men use when they go about to catch ●otterils: yet there are some Ceremonies in giving men their due Titles of Honour, according to their several Degrees, either when we write to them, or talk with them, which we cannot omit, without the imputation of being illbred: thou must not write to a Knight or an Esquire thus, To Mr. B. G. Knight, or Esquire, but must call the one Right-Worshipful, the other Worshipful; nor must thou style a Lord Right Worshipful, but Right Honourable, or a King or Prince Right Honourable, but in discourse thou shalt say to a King, and it please your Majesty, to a Prince, and it like your Highness, to a Lord, and it like your Honour, to a Knight or an Esquire, and it like your Worship, to an Archbishop, and it like your Grace, to a Bishop, and it please your Lordship, and the one thou must style the most Reverend, the other the Right Reverend Father in God: give therefore to every one his due Title, which doth properly belong to him, for as we must not clip money nor embase it, so neither must we detract any thing from the honour of any person whatsoever: Neither must we give to Tradesmen and Mechanics, or other persons of low Degre● such Titles as are too big for them to ●●ar; for that were to take a Giant's clothes, and put on upon the back of a Pigmy. (My Son) not to use Ceremonies, or Compliments at all is to teach others not to use them again; and so diminisheth respect unto thy self; especially they must not be omitted to strangers, and formal Natures: but the labouring too much to express them, doth lose their grace, for that must be natural and unaffected, and the dwelling upon them, and exalting them above the Moon, is not only tedious, but will diminish thy faith and credit: for (as one says) Men had need to beware, how they be too perfect in Compliments; for be they never so sufficient otherwise, their Enviers will be sure to give them that attribute, to the disadvantage of their greater Virtues; Yet certainly, there is a kind of conveying of effectual and imprinting passages amongst Compliments, which is of singular use if a man can hit upon it. Amongst thy Peers thou shalt be sure of familiarity, and therefore it is good a little to keep state, amongst thy inseriours thou shalt be sure of reverence, and therefore it is good a little to be familiar: too much of either will breed contempt: Briefly, let not thy behaviour be like a Verse, wherein every syllable is measured, but like thine Apparel, not too strait, or Point Device, but free for Exercise and Motion: using Ceremonies and Compliments as a Tailor doth Clothes, which he doth so cut and join together, until at length he maketh them fit for the body; so thou must cut off superfluous Ceremonies and Compliments, and take only those that are decent for thee to use.  
XXVIII. Take heed of slandering another, or poisoning his reputation, or reporting evil things of him, or of carrying Tales and false accusations, this will make thee most odious, if thou dost use it, for those to whom thou dost report slanderous tales of others, will think that thou wilt report slanderous tales of them unto others, and so they will abhor thee.  
XXIX. Oppose no man whilst he is talking or disputing, which many use to do; there shall not a word drop from another's Tongue, but they presently will take it up, and oppose him, and contend with him, and say it is not true, or it is not so as he reports it, the man was not so and so, nor the things thus; truly it is a sign of a man not well educated, nor well learned; for every one loves Victory and will hardly be overcome, as well in words as in deeds: besides it begets nothing but hatred and disdain: wherefore thou wert far better to yield to the opinion of others, especially in things of small moment, and which perhaps do not concern thee: the victory in this kind is loss, for the Victor in any frivolous Question doth in the mean while oft lose a loving friend, as Ixion lost his Juno to grasp an empty Cloud.  
XXX. If thou art desired at any time to dispute of any thing, in whosoevers company it be, thou shalt do it after a pleasing manner; thou must not desire the commendation of thy wit, in being able to hold all arguments, but of thy judgement, in discerning what is true; thou must not think it praise enough to know what might be said, but what should be thought: neither in disputing do thou strive so much as if thou wert more greedy of obtaining the Victory, than of discussing and sisting out the truth: neither suffer the Heat of disputation to cool and extinguish that of charity and love.  
XXXI. Be not thou like those, who that they may show themselves subtle, intelligent, and wise men, will always be giving of counsel unto others, always reproving of others, and always disputing with others, and many times they come from words even to blows, and by this means render themselves odious unto all: by their counselling and rebuking of others, they show that they account themselves wiser than other men, and so indeed such men ought truly to be, for as he is a wise man that will take good counsel, so he is the wiser man that can give it.  
XXXII. Resemble not those, who will pluck up Tares out of other men's fields, and all the while they will suffer their own to be overgrown with Briars and Nettles: Many are most severe to others in their slips and falls to which they themselves are most subject, as appears by Johannes Cremensis a Priest Cardinal the Pope's Legate, who in a Convocation at Westminster called in the year of our Lord 1126. inveighed most bitterly against the marriage of Priests, and was himself the next night taken in Bed with a common Harlot, for shame whereof, he got him away leaving all his business at six and seven, without taking leave of any.  
XXXIII. Mock no body with their poverty, Lateness or Blindness, or any thing they cannot help; neither do thou imitate either Stammerers Crook backed or cromp-footed men, neither make a laughingstock of thy worst enemy, much jess of thy best friend; thou oughtest not to laugh at one for the sake of recreation and pleasure, nor at the other for the sake of contempt and disdain.  
XXXIV. Thou must not do any thing that is base, unhandsome, or scurrilous, to excite others to laughter, such as the writhing of the Eyes, Mouth, or Face, or the imitating of Fools in Stage-Plays, or Puppet-plays; for this is to make thyself a Fool, that wiser men may laugh at thee.  
XXXV. Give no man the Lie, lest thou be answered with a Stab, or compelled to answer for it by a Duel; for few there are who can pass by such an Affront, as King Henry the Third did, who though Simon Mounford Earl of Leicester (who was of a very testy and choleric Constitution) gave him the Lie to his Face, yet he passed it over without Revenge, showing himself thereby to be a King over himself as well as over his Subjects.  
XXXVI. It is not good to excuse another, in that which thou dost know him to have deserved blame; and if he have erred, thou shalt make that error both yours, and when thou dost admonish him of it, or reprehend him for it, thou shalt say, We have greatly erred, we must remember how we did yesterday commit this or that error, although he alone be guilty of it, and not thou. By this civil and gentle Method thou shalt the easier mould him like soft wax to take the impressions of good counsel for the future: a wild Heifer is sooner to be tamed with gentle usage than rough handling.  
XXXVII. As thou respectest thy credit amongst men, be careful to perform thy promises, otherwise they will count thee but a Whiffling-fellow, a right honest man will be as much obliged by his word as by his Bond; nothing makes a man more like God than these two things, Holiness and Truth. To promise and not to perform is to do a Lie, and a true Gentleman must abhor as well to do a Lie as to speak one. It was a foul Character which one gave of the Neopolitans, who were wont to promise much, but to perform little, viz. that they had wi●emouths, but narrow hands; Promises are Debts, and Debts are Sins if we never pay them.  
XXXVIII. Interrupt no one whilst he is talking, either by making of a noise, or by speaking out of thy turn, neither shalt thou cause his talk to be forsaken, or neglected, or slighted by the Hearers, either by showing some new thing, or by calling aside the attention of those that are present any other way; but be attentive when others talk, lest thou shalt by and by be forced to ask what he said last: if he be slow in expression, thou shalt not run before him, & minister words unto him, as if thou wert rich, and he poor; many take this in ill part, and especially those who think themselves better Masters of their Language than thyself. Take heed therefore of taking a man's talk out of his mouth; for as it is a shame for a man to eat his own words, so it is shameful also for a man to eat another man's words out of his mouth: this is as offensive to some as it would be to clap thy hand upon their mouth, when they are about to gape.  
XXXIX. There are some, who though they know least, yet they talk most; as the weakest Wheel in the Cart screeks loudest, and the emptiest Hogshead gives the greatest sound. Wise men refrain from too much talk, fearing lest in talking much, they should err much: Nature hath given us two Ears, two Eyes, and but one Tongue, to the end we should see and hear more than we speak: the Tongue is but a small Member, yet many times doth more hurt than the whole Body besides; and many a man doth with his Tongue cut his own Throat. Use therefore thine Ears and Eyes more than thy Tongue; those that are too full of words, render themselves odious; for it carries in it a certain kind of Pride in them, viz. that they esteem themselves more excellent, wiser men, and better learned than those that hear.  
XL. In talking it is better to further another man's desire, than to hinder it; wherefore if another be about to tell any thing, thou shalt not say, I know that already, and so by that means break off his Discourse; for though thou dost know it, yet perhaps the rest that are then present do not: neither shalt thou, if thou think any thing that is reported by another, to be a Lie, in any wise upbraid him with it, either in word or gesture, either by shaking thy head, or wresting aside thine eyes, or blaring out thy tongue, for this is next of kin to the giving a man the Lye.  
XLI. And as immoderate Talk doth beget disdain, so too much Silence and Reservation is odious, and by most men hated. Therefore as those who are wont to drink in their Feasts and Solemnities, an d make themselves merry, do remove those that do not, or will not comply and be merry with them, so those which are too silent and grave, no Company will love; for they seem to the rest to sit as Judges and Censurers of their words and actions: Compliance begets Complacency. Take therefore thy turn to speak as well as thy turn to hold thy peace.  
XLII. In questioning much, thou shalt learn much, and content much, but especially if thou apply thy questions to the skill of the persons, whom thou askest, for thou shalt give them occasion to please themselves in speaking, and thou thyself shalt continually gather knowledge: but let not thy questions be troublesome, for that is fit for a Poser.  
XLIII. Follow not the Example of those, who when all are ready to sit down at Table, the Meat being brought in, will seem to have forgotten to write something, and therefore call for a Pen and Ink, or run out to make water, desiring the Company to stay for him but a Pissing while, which must needs give no small trouble or distaste to those who are sharp and hungry.  
XLIV. Avoid all kind of Vice that may deform thee, and since thou art beautiful, do such things as become thy Beauty: let the Beauty of thy Mind, which consists in choosing Virtue, and avoiding Vice, set forth that of thy whole Body, which consists in Favour, Colour, and in decent Gestures and Motions; Beauty when it is not joined with Virtue, is like the Feathers of a Phoenix, placed on the Carcase of a Crow: and he or she who is fair without and foul within, may no more justly be thought or called Beautiful than a stinking Dunghill, because it is covered with Snow.  
XLV. When thou art to go to any place, run not, nor make too much haste, for that is not the part of a Gentleman, but of a Footman. It is observed of the Lion, which is the noblest Beast in the Forest or Desert, that he is never seen to run: as thou mayst know much of a man's disposition by his Countenance or Mien, so also by his Gate; for thou mayst many times discover a totty Pate by the Legs that bear it. To walk with thy Nose erected, and thine Arms always a Kembow, like the Ears of a Pottage pot, will induce such as either meet or follow thee, to censure thee for a proud Coxcomb. If thou tread mincingly with thick and short steps, as if thou wert walking upon Eggs, they will be apt to believe that thou art a finical self conceited Fool. Let not thine Arms as theirs do that are sowing Corn, when thou goest, seem to walk as fast as thy Legs, for this will make them account thee for a Country-Clown; nor in thy going creep like a Snail, or jump like a Grasshopper, or lift up thy feet too high like a blind Mill-horse, neither take wide steps as if thou wert measuring of Land, or straddle, lest thou make the Ladies suspect that thou art shot between wind and water; in fine, let thy manner of walking be grave, modest, and no way affected: for this is very decent and comely. My Son, these Animadversions which I have before mentioned, may seem to thee minute and trifling matters, yet I assure thee in our familiar Converse with men, like the filings of Gold, they have their weight and price as well as things of a greater Mass or Bulk; but to proceed in my advice.  
XLVI. The next thing is I would not have thee force another man to drink more than he well can; for this is so far from using him with Civility, that it savours rather of such Barbarity, as the Dutch used at Amboyna against our English, whom by putting the brim of an Hat under their Chins, and pouring water continually upon it, they forced to drink till their Bellies were ready to break, and their Eyes to start out of their Sculls. 'Tis the noblest Entertainment amongst sober and grave, wise and good men, to give every man his own freedom.  
XLVII. When any Visitants of Quality come to wait upon thee, withdraw not thyself from their Society, but with the greatest Civilities entertain them, and let them have all the freedom and the best Accommodations thy House will afford; yet when the Bottles like Hand-Granado's fly about, reserve to thyself thine own liberty: so shalt thou the longer enjoy thy Estate, because thy Temperance and Sobriety will prolong thy days: remember that thou art the Master of the House, and not mine Host, to drink with all comers as he doth.  
XLVIII. Take great care for the preservation of thy good Name; for as thy Garment after it hath been once rent and torn is like so still more to be by every Nail and Tenterhook thou comest near, so will it fare with thy good Name, if it be once tainted with just reproach; nothing is more hardly to be found again, if once 'tis lost, than a man's good name or reputation: which one prettily expresseth thus, by this Apologue, it happened that upon a time, Fire, Water, and Reputation went to travel together, but before they set forth they considered (that if they lost one another) how they might meet again; Fire said, where you see smoke there you shall find me; Water said, where you see Flags growing in Moorish grounds, there you shall find me; but Reputation said, take heed how you lose me, for if you do, you will run a great hazard never to meet with me again.  
XLIX. To the end therefore that thou mayest keep thy good Name, abandon the society of those, which are noted for evil living and lewd behaviour; for by holding familiarity with such men, thou wilt incur two evils, for either thou shalt be thought such a one thyself, or in a little time shalt really be so, for it is commonly seen, that a man contracts a tincture upon himself, suitable to the conditions of those persons with whom he doth familiarly converse, as those that accompany a Collier shall be black, and those who live with a Miller shall be white; it may be said of frequenting ill company, as they were wont to say in a common Proverb here in England of going to Rome, He that goes to Rome once, seeth a wicked man; he that goes twice, learneth to know him; but he that goes thrice thither, brings him home with him; so he that frequenteth wicked company, the first time that he comes amongst them, he sees their courses; the second time he learns them; and the third time he commonly brings them home with him. Company is good, if it be good company, he that keeps company with lewd and infamous persons, shall be thought a Bird of the same Feather. It was Seneca's observation upon Canopus a Town in Egypt so branded in old time for variety of all kinds of beastliness and luxury, that he who avoided the viciousness and debauchery of it could not escape the infamy, the very place administering matter of suspicion: Beware of these three Bs 

Back.  
Belly.  
Building.    
L. In reference to the first B the Back, take heed how thou consumest thy Estate by thy prodigious Bravery, some men have been so vain, as to make their Garments of a Lordship, and have lined them with their Farms, and laced them with all the Gold and Silver which their friends left them; the Barks of such vain Fools, like that of the Cinamon-Tree, are more worth than their Trunks: while their variety and several changes of Apparel cover a thread bare Purse.  
LI. Next, in reference to the Belly, which is the second B, take heed thou be not like the Epicures and Belly-Gods, Velvet-mouthed and sweet-toothed, who are not content with the choicest Viands, unless their very sauce be sauced too; and think they shall be starved, unless the third course be brought to Table, and the Sweetmeats after that: how many by such luxuries have drawn at length their goods through their guts. Such men like Cleopatra (who drinking a health to her Antony, swallowed a Pearl dissolved in Vinegar worth many millions) gulch down their Estates by gulps, till in the end they come to be glad of a dry Crust; and in conclusion, by keeping too great a House, they keep no House to cover their heads; and their sat Revenues like their roast-meat drips all away: the Purses of such Prodigals may be said to be poor by their great goings out, while their Bellies may be said to be rich by their great come in.  
LII. Lastly, in reference to Building, which is the third B, take heed thou engage not too far in it, for this will pick a man's Purse, as it did the foolish Builders in the Gospel, who began to build but could not make an end; and leave their houses desolate, as the slothful man's Vineyard, described thus by Solomon, Lo it was all grown over with thorns, and Nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone walls thereof were broken down. Or if they be resident on their houses, it necessitates them to keep a Table, which will starve twenty tall men, besides many a Mouse: the House being the bigger for the smallness of the Kitchin. They can keep but few fires in many Chimneys, the smoke comes all out of one hole only: and though a man may see them a far off, yet he cannot smell them nigh at hand; Bread and Beef are turned into stones; the stately roof, the costly pavement, and the curious workmanship, hath pined away hospitality, and brought her into a consumption, not to be recovered: Therefore, I advise thee in thy diet, not to be too curious, nor yet too course; in thy attire not to be too costly nor yet too clownish; and finally as for thy buildings, let them be useful and commodious, not vain and over sumptuous; it was a severe but just scoff which the Lord Treasurer Burleigh passed upon a Knight, that shall not be named, who having built a very stately fabric, to the great diminution of his estate and revenue, was yet ambitious to entertain the Queen at his fine house; and to that purpose new painted his Gates, with his Coat of Arms and his Motto in great golden Letters, thus 
onia Vanitas.  The Lord Treasurer offering to read it, desired to know of the Knight, what he meant by onia, who told him, it stood by contraction for omnia; whereupon the Lord Treasurer replied, truly Sir I very much wonder that having made your omnia so little as you have, you notwithstanding make your Vanitas so large. Therefore (the premises considered) content thyself (my Son) with that House I shall leave thee, without any alteration, unless it be for thy convenience. The Spaniards think that they cannot curse a man worse, than to say the Plague of Building light upon thee; and we have here at home an English Proverb, That he who often doth dip his fingers in Mortar will lose his Nails.  
LIII. There is a fourth thing that is as great a waster, if not a greater, of a man's Estate, than any of those three things we last spoke of, and that is Whoring; this hath undone many; the Harlot is an Horseleech, which if thou hast Gold or Silver about thee, will never out of thy bosom, till that be out of thy Purse; and hath brought thy hundred to six, as the Usurer adds six to his hundred. Nor will she bereave thee of thy goods only, but of thy good Name also; a bad report is ever the Whoremasters portion, and even whilst he lives he may be Administrator to his own good Name, for that dies before him, and stinks above ground; yea his reproach is such, as shall not only outlive Himself but his Posterity likewise: for it shall never be put out, the Town and Country shall ring of his baseness and dishonesty with the accent of shame.  
And as Harlots will bereave a man of his goods and good name, so will they shorten his days, as (according to the observation of Herbalists) those Plants die soon which run most into seed: and so likewise the Naturalists have observed, that the salacious Sparrows of all Birds are shortest lived, by reason of their immoderate and frequent copulation: and assuredly it was not without a Mystery, that (as Plutarch informs us in his 23. Rom. Quaest.) the things belonging to Funerals were ordered by the Roman Magistrates, to be sold in the Temple of Venus. Wherefore as the crazy Emperor Adrian said once inter turbam Medicorum pereo, amongst many Physicians I perish, so may many a Gallant say of himself, by accompanying myself with many Strumpets I have ruined myself. For such unclean Beasts, like Murrain Cattle, infect those that herd with them, with such foul diseases as will stick by them, when their best friends give them over; their very Hairs having the falling-sickness, and whereas other men lose their lives, these cast them away; not so much in hatred to themselves, as love to their Mistresses. I have read that Jovanni Zecca the famous Bolognian Physician, openly professed by his Bills to give a certain Antidote against taking of the French Pox, and when multitudes flocked to him, for his Medicine (believing that it consisted of Pills, Potions, Diet▪ drinks, Diaphoreticks, Salivations, Oils, Plasters, Electuaries, Powders, and other such medicinal ingredients) he only gave them the Picture of a Gallant drawn to the life, with his Nose eaten off, telling them, that the way how to use this Receipt, was, that just as they were about to lie with a lascivious Woman, they should take this Picture out of their bosoms, and seriously view and consider it, and if this did not preserve them from taking that foul Disease, he believed nothing would do it: how much more may I hope, that exposing to thy view the shame and deadliness of this sin, causing the loss of the Soul, which is more precious than that of the Nose, to make thee loath and abhor those shameful and pernicious courses, and dead all carnal desires in thee of eating those dainty Bits, which how savoury soever they seem in the chewing, are so mortiserous when swallowed down.  
For this sin of Carnality not only ruins a man's Estate, or impairs his health, but also like a Cancer eats into the very Soul; for Harlots are the highway to the Devil, when a man looks upon them with desire, he begins his Journey, when he sits toying and prattling with them, he mends his pace, and when he lies with them, his Journey is at an end.  
Since therefore the exercise of Venery is the high way to Beggary, to the losing of thy Credit and Reputation, to he shortening of thy life here, and the eternal loss of it hereafter, avoid it carefully. It is very true what Aristotle observes, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that the concupiscence of the flesh is less boundless than the unruly Sea: one Woman is enough for a man's Love, two too much for his Estate, three too few for his Lust. To avoid therefore the Temptations of the Flesh, I counsel thee not to frequent the Company of handsome, but immodest Women; Platonic Love is but a mere Chimaera: if a man sit down and say Grace to it, he will soon fall to the Flesh that is set before him: to rely then upon the strength of thine own Chastity is more rash than wise, and therefore if thou makest profession of not staining thy Reputation with the spots of Lasciviousness, thou must shun all those that may entice or allure thee thereunto. For as one ingeniously speaks, 'Tis not only a great piece of folly, but an infinite rashness, to make Gunpowder in a Smith's Shop, and hope to make people believe that there is no danger in it. In the next place.  
LIV. If thou desire to be rich, and continue so, eat high Play; the way to keep what is thine own, is not to covet what is another man's. The common Gamester, who is never well at ease any longer than he is shuffling a Pack of Cards, will at last come to shuffle for his living; and the Dice he delights in will in the end waste his Estate to the very bones; for the Palsy (I mean the shaking of his Elbow) will be his overthrow: and when he hath played away his Patrimony he may curse the Bones, as well as the Whoremaster cries out upon the Flesh. But some will say they pick out a pretty living by Play, indeed they cannot use a fitter term; for as Vultures, they pick and prey upon others: But let them cast up their account, and in the end they shall find, that they put their Win in a broken Bag. Make not an Occupation of Play and Pastime, and though thou mayst sometimes recreate thyself (for a Bow too much bended may break) yet make not an habit o using generous Delights, much less of base ones. When thou art playing, look not pale for fear to lose, nor be transported with desire to win, lest thou fret, and sum, and disquiet thyself, and so at once lose thy patience together with thy Money. Therefore assure thyself, that the best Cast at Dice is to cast them quite away: For he that lays his Estate upon the Eyes of the Dice, will leave a small Estate for his own eyes to look upon in the end.  
LV. Beware of Flatterers, those that will commend in thee qualities which thou hast not, or too much extol those thou hast; and will make thee believe, thou dost not know thy own Worth, and bless themselves with both their hands, if any thing proceed from thee worthy but mere commendation: thou must not give ear to these Clawbacks: but stop their passage, and bend thy Brows upon excessive praise; never courting it otherwise, than as it follows upon just and apparent Merit: neither let the praises of others, no not of good men, be a Syrup to Insolency, but a Whetstone to set an edge upon thy good actions, that if it be not so as is reported, yet thou wilt have it so, because men report it. Neither let it be Music in thine Ears to hear Flatterers commend thee, but open thy mouth and reprove these kind of persons; for some of them levelly at their own profit, their Art is nothing but delightful Cozenage: the Fox in the Fable commended the Crow for his sweet Notes, to see if he could make him open his mouth, and let fall his Provant. These men will spend their Tongues to maintain their Teeth, they are Moths, which will eat out a liberal man's Coat, Vines, which will cling to the stalks, not for any true love to them, but for their own sustentation and support; they follow not thee, but thy Fortunes, and will not leave thee till they wear thee Threadbare: Therefore Antisthenes was wont to say, It were better for a man to fall among Ravens than among Flatterers; for Ravens will eat none but the dead, but these will devour a man while he is alive. Again, some of them intend mischief, they flatter thee, that they may circumvent thee, and the more easily effect their malicious projects; they are like the Bees sting, which pricketh deepest when it is fullest of Honey. Mark how the Butcher claweth the Ox, when he means to knock him on the head, how the Basilisk poisons those on whom he seems to cast an eye of regard, how the Crocodile intends to destroy those over whom she weeps and counterfeits compassion, and how the Sirens sing when they intent the Mariner's shipwreck: and by these Instances, guard thyself from all such as claw and flatter others; their words being as soft as oil, but are indeed very Swords. These are those miry Dogs that make a man dirty by their sawning upon him. This foul Hypocrisy, Court Holy Water, dishonest Civility, and base Merchandise of Praises and Commendations is nothing else but gilded Treason, carrying thee up, as the Devil did our Saviour, to the top of a Pinnacle only to throw thee down headlong to break thy Neck It was an excellent Answer (and if we duly consider the weightiness of it, never a whit the more to be despised, because Lycosthenes reports it) which Diogenes gave to his Question, who asked him, What Beast did bite the sorest, that of wild beasts it was the Back▪ biter, of tame beasts it was the Flatterer. By such Parasites (my Son) many young Gentlemen are drawn into Debauchery either by Wine or Women, either to haunt the Taverns, Inns, and Alehouses, or else the Stews and Brothel-houses, and to marry before they are wise. It is said of the Bear, that she licks her Cubs into form, but these by licking thee with a glozing Tongue (if thou take not the more heedful care) will utterly spoil and desorm thee.  
LVI. Next to the tame Beast the Flatterer, beware of the wild one the Backbiter; but because thou canst not hinder him from speaking ill of thee, for his Tongue like a Mill-Clack will still be waging, that he may grind to powder thy good Name, learn therefore to make this good use of his Clack as to make thy bread by it; I mean to live so, that no credit shall be given to the slandering of his lips. Let thy Conversation be blameless and innocent, so shalt thou gag the Teeth of Malice itself, that it shall not be able to bite thee: and the consciousness of thine integrity will make thee to despise their Calumnies, and to value them no more than a generous Lion doth the barking of a whifling Cur. Neither wilt thou any more be disturbed at them, than the Moon or the Sun is ever a whit the more troubled or molested at the noise of an ill favoured Ass, when he erects his Nose against the Clouds, and brays against the bright firmament of Heaven. Indeed it is the part of a silly Mouse, to bite every one, that does but touch him: they may cast a mist upon thy splendour, they cannot extinguish it, as the clouds that rise from Moors and Fens may take from the Sun the aspect of men's eyes, but they cannot deprive it of its own proper light: and at length they all vanish away. And truly the best way to stop a lying slanderous mouth, is to take no notice at all of such false reports as are cast upon thee; if thou wilt Father another man's Bastard, it must pass for thine own Child. Wherefore please not thine Enemies so much, as to make show thou dost apprehend, that they have wronged thee; omnis injuria est in sensu patientis. If malice shall see it hath wrought thy vexation, and made thee hurt thyself, it hath that it wished for: cast therefore a smiling contempt upon a false report, let it meet thee as if a Glass did encounter a Rock. Contempt puts ill will out of countenance, makes it withdraw itself, and quickly find its own Grave; whereas to take it to heart is to own the scandal, and crown the revenge of the Author. And thus the Backbiter by corroding thy reputation, shall reap no better advantage than the Serpent in the Fable did, who wore away his Teeth by gnawing the File. However be sure to give no just occasion to ill reports of thee, and then thy credit will be impregnable. The Forest in that other Apologue, had never needed to have complained how she was cut and hackled, had she not lent out of her own self the wood that made the Helve to the Hatchet; nor had the Eagle felt the shaft sticking at her heart, had she not afforded some of her own Plumes to the feathering of it: Diamonds are not to be cut▪ engraved, or pierced without some of their own powder concur to the work of the Engraver.  
As Arrows or Bullets that are shot into the air higher than our sight, yet touch not Heaven, and as they that overthrew Temples do not any way hurt the Godhead to whom they are consecrated; so injuries affixed to a wise man return without effect; and are to him but as Cold or Heat, Rain or Hail, the weather of the world. 'Tis Womanish not to endure evil speaking, and therefore King David when he reprehended Abishai who would have had him been revenged on Shimei for his cursing, said, What have I to do with you O ye Sons of Zerviah: he calls them from the Mother not the Father, to show, that they had too much of the Mother in them who were too impatient of evil speeches.  
LVII. eat slothfulness and idleness, man is born to labour; therefore nulla dies sine lineâ, follow thy Books, look to thy Grounds, yoke thine Oxen, follow the Plough, graft thy Trees, behold thy cattle, and devise with thyself, how the increase of them may increase thy profit; in Autumn pull thine Apples, in Summer reap thy Harvest, in the Spring trim thy Gardens, in Winter thy Woods: and if thou art desirous of profit, praise, Pleasure, or knowledge take pains, study, leave nothing unattempted. No Garland is given to the Sluggard, thou canst not enter into the Temple of Glory and Honour, but through the Temple of Virtue and Labour: Sloth loseth time, dulleth the understanding, nourisheth humours, choketh the brain, and hinders thrift; exercise burnisheth the mind, without which it will eat itself out by its own rust; and if the proud man be the Devil's Chair of State, the idle man is his Cushion: and as the Ox that will not plough is brought to the slaughter-house, so lazy unprofitableness must look for its slaughter-house in the other world, if it take not a Newgate in the way here.  
LVIII. Above all things (my Son) make good use of thy Time, it is a very slippery thing, and like an handful of fine Sand will slip through thy Fingers, though thou grasp it never so fast: and whereas a man may have many of the things of this world at once, 'tis certain that he can have but one Time, and that's the present, the Time past is no longer thine, and the Time to come may never be thine, therefore make the best advantages that thou canst of the present moment of Time for that only is thine; the Emblem will teach thee that Time is bald behind, there's no hold fast there, catch it therefore by the Forelock, it is like a Bird let fly at large out of the hand which returns not, or as a word babbled out which cannot be recalled: O what would the prodigal squanderers, and the abusive Mispenders of their precious Time, give, when the final judgement of eternal Death is passed upon them, for some few grains of that Sand, which seemed too many whilst they were passing through their Hour-glasses. Before Time therefore deliver thee up to Eternity, imitate him who having a very short Lease-hold, without impeachment of waste, takes all the advantage he can before the approaching Expiration of it; he rips up the ground, eats up the grass; sells down the Timber, cuts down the Coppices: do thou the like, sithence thy Time in this world is short, nay and what is more uncertain, match the velocity of it, with thy celerity in making all the beneficial uses of it, for (as St. Augustine speaks elegantly) he only may be said to be Master of Time, who in the swiftest current of it lays such foundations as are not transitory. Thus as Time flies over thy head, thou mayest plume her of some of her Feathers, though thou canst not stop her flight: and though thou canst not recall Time past, yet thou mayest redeem it, and therefore to that end let me once more put thee in mind to ponder seriously the shortness, slipperiness, and uncertainty of Time, and withal the irrecoverableness of it, when thou hast let it pass: that thou mayest endeavour to make the best use of it, and not to slip occasion, it is a good admonition which Seneca gave to the Loiterer, Neglecter, and Mispender of his precious Time, Begin not then to live, when life begins to leave thee: Or rather bear in thy mind the saying of that Holy man who (as I have read) never heard the Clock strike, but he would say, now I have one hour less to live in, and one hour more to give an account for.  
LIX. Go to Bed with the Lamb and rise with the Lark; late watching in the Night breedeth ill humours in the body, and long sleeping in the morning ungodliness in the mind: to rise betimes will make a man rich, healthy, and holy: Astronomers observe that the most propitious Planets of all the seven Sol and Mercury leave us at night, and return to shine upon us in the morning, which mystically intimates unto us that then our wits and knowledge are quickest and clearest, and that it is the fittest Time for the dispatch of all business, and humane Affairs; which Tusser in his Book of good Husbandry thus plainly expresseth, 
Some work in the morning may trimly be done,  
That all the day after may hardly be won.   
Mounsieur Villeroy the great French Statesman wished his Son, always to dispatch business in the morning, as if he were sure to lose his opportunity in the Afternoon. Apollonius coming very early in the morning, to Vespasians Gate, and finding him stirring, conjectured thereupon that he was worthy to command an Empire, and said unto one who accompanied him, undoubtedly this man will be an Emperor, he is so early a stirrer: To be brief, imitate rather Hercules in Zenophon, than Bonacius in Poggius; before the one contended Dame Virtue, and Dame Pleasure, both seeking to seize upon his will, but at last after some wavering and debate, he submitted unto Virtue and rejected Pleasure: before Bonacius in the shape likewise of women, came Carefulness and Slothfulness, the former bade him to rise out of his lazy Den, and betake himself to some work; but Dame Slothfulness advised him to lie still at his ease, and to beware of the morning's cold, and so while they were contending, he like a slothful Idiot remained neutral, continually looking when they would agree, until at length the greater part of the day was overpast to his loss and damage. 'Tis a true saying, that Beds make Beggars; I would not have thee therefore follow the common custom of many of our Gentry, who lie in Bed, and rise not, till their meat be ready to be set on the Table, to which after they are tircked and trimméd, have powdered and kembed their Perruques, have patched their Faces, and set themselves by their Looking-glasses for all day, sit down to eat and drink, and then rise up to play, or take a Coach to see a Comedy or Tragedy acted, and when that is done, to visit in a Masquerado their Mistresses, by which they (as if God had put them into the World as he hath put the Leviathan into the Sea, only to take their pastime therein) idly, vainly, and unprofitably spend their precious time, for which they can neither give a good account to God or themselves.  
LX. Hate Wastfulness and Vnthristiness, for they will bring thee into necessity, and then thou must live like a Drone, if not by wicked shifting, yet by base beggary. Thirst is a great Virtue, having diligence to provide things necessary truly and justly, and care to save and keep when gotten: yet be thirsty without filthy niggardness and unmercifulness, but give thy Need, thine Honour, thy Friend, the Church, and the Poor their deuce; never exceed thy Income, nay I would not have thee live up to the height of it, 'tis an old Saw. 
If Youth did know what Age would crave,  
Many a Penny he would save.   
By no means run in debt, neither do thou break any thing of thy Stock; 'tis related of the Stone Tirrhenus, how that being whole, it swimmeth, but never so little diminished, it sinketh to the bottom; so he who keeps his stock full is ever afloat, but wasting of his store, by degrees becometh Bankrupt; neither let thy liberality exceed thine ability; he that giveth beyond his power is prodigal, he that giveth in measure is liberal, he that giveth nothing at all is a Niggard. Follow the example of those young Gentlemen, who coming to their Wealth before they come to their Wits, run beyond the Constable, and live without compass, making their own Hands their Executors, their own Eyes their Overseers, and all their Purchases with Dedimus and Concessimus.  
LXI. Enter not into Bonds, no not for thy best Friends. King Solomon, who in his time was the wisest man in the World, tells us, that he that hateth suretyship is sure. He that obliges himself to pay another man's Debt, takes the Shackles from his Feet, and claps them on upon his own; it is as rare to see a rich Surety as a black Swan: and he that endeth to all that will borrow, showeth great good will, but little wit. If thou lend a round Sum of Money be sure to have either a Lease or a Mortgage of Land made over, or two or three good Sureties bound to thee for it: either of these, and especially the two first are good Gauges to borrow by.  
LXII. Entertain such men as shall be trusty; for if thou keep a Wolf within thy doors to do mischief, or a Fox to work craft and subtlety, thou shalt find it as perilous, as if in thy Barn thou shouldst maintain Rats, and in thy Ground Moles.  
Let thy Maidens be such as seem readier to take pains than follow pleasure, willinger to dress up their House than their heads, not so fine-fingered as to call for a Lute, when they should use a Distaff, not so dainty-mouthed as that their silken Throats should swallow no Packthread.  
Choose such Servants as shall be willing to learn whatsoever is necessary, faithful in performing whatsoever is their duty, careful in seeking all honest means to profit thee, and silent in Tongue, in not revealing abroad what thou dost at home, and in not replying to, or contradicting of what thou commandest them to do; never endure those that will answer again, when they are reproved by thee for the neglect of their Duty; especially take care that they be seasoned with the fear of God. He that entertains one addicted to Lies, entertains a Thief; and he that admits a common Swearer or a debauched person into the bowels of his Family, admits a Jonah that may sink his Ship.  
Make not thy Servants too familiar with thee, for that will in the end bring thee into contempt with them; it hath been ever observed, that gentle and clement Princes have more rebellious Subjects than those that are rough and fierce, that loving and indulgent Parents more ungracious Children than those who are rigid and austere, and that soft and mild Masters more disobedient Servants than those that are harsh and severe.  
Amongst other things (my Son) if thou hast a regard to Thrift, keep no more Cats than will kill Mice; my meaning is, retain not more Servants in thy Family than are for thy profit or advantage; a long Retinue may make thy State the greater, but it will make thine Estate the less; the length of the Peacock's Train makes his Wings the shorter.  
LXIII. There are some that will not tap their Beer till it be sour, nor cut their Bread and Cheese till it be mouldy, or their Meat till it be soisty; some again will cobble their Shoes, till, like Theseus his Ship, none of the first Materials of them remain; some will drive into them so many Hobnails and Sparabils, as they may be rather said to be- shod like Horses than shooed like Men; some will burn only Rush or Pissing Candles, and all this but to eke out their Store, and others rather than they will be at the Charge of a Quarrel or Pane of Glass, will stop the hole in their Windows with an old Stockin or a Wad of Straw; nay I have heard of an old Woman, who would commonly sit bare-breeched to save her Petticoats: all which are to be abhorred, because they do not so much express any good Husbandry and Thrift as base Sordidness and Niggardize. These and the like petty Arts leave to those covetous Misers, who heap up Riches for they know not whom.  
LXIV. Be not hasty to marry, it is better to have one Blow going than two Cradles, and more profit to have a Barn filled than a Bed. We are told in holy Writ, that it is better not to marry, but withal we are told there also, that it is better to marry than to burn. It is not unlikely that those persons that live and die pure and unspotted Virgins, shall sit in Heaven next to the Martyrs, and wear Crowns as they do, whilst such as are married and live Chastely in that state and condition of life, shall wear Coronets only; but a pure and unspotted Virginity is very rarely attained among Men and Women, whose half of themselves consists of flesh and blood; and therefore if thou canst not live chastely in a single life make use of the remedy, which God hath prescribed thee, and that is Marriage, which is an honourable estate amongst all men: but yet if thou must needs marry, be sure to choose such a Wife as may bring with her such advantages to thee, as may at least counterbalance all the inconveniences of a married life; for many leap▪ like the Mouse in the Fable, into the Brass-pan, without considering at all such inconveniences, and afterwards would fain leap out again, but cannot. And truly (my Son) if a man well ponder beforehand the continual cares and fears, and the frequent jars and discontents, which Man and Wife suffer under, he will discover, that Marriage, like the Medicine prescribed for the disease commonly called the Squinzy, hath as much Album Graecum as Honey in it: and thus thou mayst perceive my great love to thee, in preferring the peace and quietness of thy life before the propagating of my Name and Posterity; nevertheless in this Matter I leave thee to thine own liberty and discretion.  
But because by thy sanguine and debonair Complexion I forbade, that thine inclinations will tend to a married life, I would have thee observe these Instructions in the choice of her whom thou art minded to make thy Bed-fellow. Choose such a one as may be more commended for her Virtues than her Beauty; a good Huswife is a great Patrimony, and she is most honourable who is most chaste. In thy choice and election mark these four, P s 

Piety,  
Parentage,  
Proportion,  
Portion.   The first P. is Piety: see in the first place that she be piously brought up in the fear of God, well educated, of civil and modest Deportment and Behaviour, avoid her that is fantastical, for she will still be hurrying thee up to London; or that is ambitious, to be taken for a Wit, for it is more than an even lay but she will attempt to make thee a Fool; nor choose her the rather, because like a pretty Parakeeto, she can speak a little French or Italian, for one Tongue is enough in conscience for a Woman, or because she is Poetically given, and can make a good Verse, for it would be much better that she were able to make thee a good Pudding. But note this, that though I would have her whom thou wouldst mate with to be pious, I would not have her to be precise; for it is commonly found, that those Women are most Heart hollow, who are most Lip-holy, and such a one will nibble thine Estate worse than the Rats will thy Holland or thy Chedder Cheese, by stealing out of it large contributions to the Bartholomew Martyrs.  
The second P. is Parentage: see that she come of good and honest Parentage, and such as are of a good Repute in their Country; a good Wise can hardly be chosen out of a wicked and irreligious Family; a man cannot expect to gather Grapes from Thorns, or Figs from Thistles.: If the Springhead be poisoned, so will the Streams; it is a Rabbinical Proverb, Take not a Wise out of that Family wherein there is a Publican, for such are all Publicans. If thou desirest to be the Sire of an happy Son, or the Father of a fortunate Child, abstain from those Women that are either base of Birth, or bare of Honesty.  
The third P. to be observed in the choosing of a Wife, is Proportion; let the Woman thou shalt pitch upon be built up with comely parts and Features. Love ever first enters in at the Eye, and to keep it warm and alive, it is fit that Member should be pleased. When one asked a very homely Woman her name, she told him it was Rebecca, upon which he replied, I thought your name had been Asarabecca, for I can hardly behold you without ridding of my stomach: have a care therefore, notwithstanding all other advantages, that thou match not with such a one as will sooner make thee Stomach-sick than Lovesick; and be not of Nat. Field, the Player's humour, who vowed, that if the old Woman that crawled upon her tail at Holborn-Bridge, had a thousand pound for her Portion, he would marry her and adorn her Breech with a French Velvet Hood. Neither for gain or lucre sake marry some rich but very old Widow, lest when she kisses thee she drop her Teeth (if she have any) into thy mouth; but perhaps thou mayst hope that thou shalt outlive her, but this is just as if a man should hang himself, in hope that some body or other may come before he be dead, and cut the Rope.  
The fourth and last P. is Portion, and this thou must look after, that in tying thyself fast, thou dost not undo thyself; in thy Match thou must respect the mending of thine Estate and Fortunes; other things may help and be an Appendix, but 'tis Wealth must be the Substance, without which never expect to eat thy Bread without Gravel in it, and if Grist be wanting, the Mill stones will quickly set the Mill on fire. When thou art married, if thy Wife in the first month chide and chafe, thou must hear without reply, and endure with patience; for they that cannot suffer the wranglings of young married Women, are not unlike to those, that tasting the Grape to be sour before it be ripe, leave to gather it, when it is; or to those, who being stung with the Bee forsake the Honey; or else to those, who will pull off the Heads of their Poultry, because they will sometimes cackle; though for the sake of the Eggs they lay, they should (as Socrates did with his Xanthippe) bear the more with them. Fair means will do more with crabbed Natures than force, as the Sun in the Fable, by fairly shining on the Traveller made him lay aside his Cloak, whereas the ruffling wind made him gird it the faster about him. In like manner, if the Husband thinks to make his Woman the more tractable, and to bow to him by force, he shall find her Joints to be but the stiffer still; but mild words, gentle persuasions, good counsel, and fair entreaties, like Nerve Oil, will supple them. Musical Instruments, the softlier they are touched, the sweeter they sound. A Wife, like a mettlesom Horse, will be stark mad, if reined in too hard, but with a gentle curb she will bear a white mouth. If a Husband will after an unmanly manner fight with his Wife, and beat her Ribs, if she have not the more Grace, 'tis the way to make her break his Forehead. And further I must tell thee, that the fall out of Man and Wife betwixt themselves, are like the break of each others bones, there is no rest or case till they be set and composed again. If the cross Husband wrest one way, and the cross-grained Wife another, they both together as it were twist a Rope to hang themselves. Indeed Marriage is either an Heaven or an Hell upon Earth; where there is Love and Unity, there it is an Heaven; where Jars and Discontents, there it is an Hell. All therefore who desire in that estate and condition of life to make themselves happy, must mutually be good and kind to each other▪ for as a good Jack makes a good Jill, so a good Jill makes a good Jack.  
Be not too imperious over thy Wise▪ for that will make her to hate thee; neither be too fond and uxorious, for that will make her to disdain thee: let her neither be thy Slave nor thy Sovereign, neither tread her under thy foot, nor set her upon thy head. God made Woman at first of a Rib, which is placed between both.  
In the Government of thy Household use her hands as well as thine own eyes; for good Husbandry and Huswifry consists as well in settling of things, as in looking to them; if thou rule in the Hall or Parlour, let her rule in the Kitchen and Bedchamber. To be short, let the Keys hang at her Girdle, but the Purse at thine own: so shalt thou know what thou dost spend, and how she can spare; yet do not penuriously keep her too bare of money, but let thy Hen peck at thy Barn-door, though thou set her not to pick at the whole heap.  
Above all things when thou art married, avoid Jealousy; a man's mistrust that his Wife is dishonest, may but the sooner make her so: and truly it is either needless or bootless to do so; it is not the Italian Lock, nor the close Mewing of her up like a Haggard that will secure her Chastity, who is addicted to Wantonness; if Pasiphae cannot have the company of a man, she will be bulled and admit a Bull; and an ugly Dwars, little more than a Cubit high, if she cannot have an handsome proper man, shall serve the turn of the lascivious Queen (Quean I should have said) of whom the Poet Ariosto makes mention: For if a Woman be modest no gold will, like Danae, corrupt her; and if she be immodest, nor grief nor care will amend her. Jealousy is a fire to which every thing adds fuel: if a jealous man's Wife frown, he strait conjectures, either it is, because she hates him, or love's others better; if she smile, it is because she hath had success in her Love, or it is to entice another to love her; if she turns aside her head from any man, he thinks that she only dissembles; if she cast an eye upon him, he thinks she courts him, and then, like a man possessed with a Frenzy, he stamps and stairs, and tears his hair from his head, and cries out, that neither fire in the Straw, nor love in a Woman's looks can be hid. Thus he watcheth over every gesture and behaviour of his Consort, as a Cat watcheth over a M●use, and seeks for that he would not find; like him that goes to the House of Office in the dark feeling about the Seat, for that which he is afraid to meet with.  
LXV. Eat not thine own Heart, that is, do not vex thyself with thine own inward thoughts, neither lay the load of such things as grieve thee upon thine own self; fire penned in burns the more furiously, and Bottles too close corked up, often fly all in pie es, by the strength of the Spirits with which they are filled; for as those Wounds are most dangerous that bleed inward, so are those griefs which are too closely concealed: However keep thy mishaps secret from thine Enemy, that he may not rejoice at them, but reveal them to thy sincere Friend, that he may pity, advise, and help thee, if he can, or at least may bear a part with thee: Burdens divided are easily born. Those that want true Friends, to whom they may open themselves, tell their minds, and impart their vexations and troubles, are strange Cannibals, for they eat their own hearts.  
LXVI. Have therefore with Pylades an Orestes, with Damon a Pythias, some faithful Friend to whom thou mayst impart thy griefs and joys, thy fears and hopes, thy suspicions and counsels, thy intentions and affairs, and whatsoever lieth hard upon thy heart. Two fast Friends are like Millstones which are never singly made use of but by couples, and each standeth in need of the others help for the performance of the work whereunto they are ordained. Yet take good heed with whom thou dost shake hands and contract friendship; try the man thou meanest to trust, lest shining like the Carbuncle, as if he had fire, he be found when he is proved to be as cold as Ice. A wise Soldier will try the proof of his Armour before he gird it about him. Learn out therefore (before thou take a friend into thy bosom) how he hath dealt with others with whom he hath contracted friendship; for look how he hath served them, so will he likewise deal with thee: and try him before thou hast need of him, so shalt thou find what his readiness will be, to serve thee when necessity requires his help. When thou hast gotten a true Friend, be sure to keep him, be faithful to him, and contented with him; it is not a Paradox to say, He that hath many Friends hath none; for true Friends are like Turtles, which go by pairs, not like Starlings, which fly in flocks.  
LXVII. Keep thy Secrets, if they be of any great moment to thyself; but be sure, if thou impart them, let it be to none but thy faithful Friend; remember that whatever three persons know, it commonly then ceaseth to be any longer a Secret: imitate the Reservation of that wise Roman, who professed, that if he thought his Shirt did know his Secrets, he would burn it. He that tells his Errand to every one he meets, is a babbling Fool; and he that discovers unto others his intentions beforehand, courts his own disappointment: And as I would not have thee to discover thine own secrets, so neither would I have thee to be curious and inquisitive into the secrets of others; lest thou be put off with a slur, as the Countryman in Plutarch, put him off, who inquired what he carried so close in his Basket, saying; Friend, if you might know what it is, I should not carry it so close covered as it is. Or as that General slighted the curiosity of his Lieutenant General, who came to know when and whither they should march, saying, Sir, when the Trumpet sounds you shall know.  
But above all, in this matter be cautious, that you trust not a Woman's breast with such secrets as thou wouldst have no man know; for, like Sieves, they are rimarum plenae, and can hold nothing that is poured into them; and their mouths can no more hold long a secret, than they can a spoonful of scalding Custard. All that may be said, to excuse a man's folly in this particular is, that we may venture to tell them our secrets, because no wise man will imagine, that he may find them there reposited, unless it be by some very Fool. The Story of Papirius Pretextatus will come in here very pat to our purpose, who being but a young Boy, went along with his Father into the Senate-house, where many weighty matters were debated, from whence when he came home, his Mother (being very curious and inquisitive) took him aside privately, and questioned him what was said and done there, the Youth, ultra aetatem sapiens, being wise and discreet beyond his years, to elude her curiosity, and to keep from her the Secrets of State, told her, that the Senate had concluded, that every man should have two Wives; upon this she gathered the Roman Matrons together, and told them what her Son had told her; who all unanimously went presently to the Senate, and petitioned them, that since they had decreed, that every man should have two Wives, that they would also make a second Decree, that every Woman should have two Husbands: the Senate greatly marvelled at this sudden coming of the Women and their words, till at length understanding how it was, they highly admired and commended the Boy for his wit and secrecy; and to honour him the more, admitted him (though but a Child) to be a Member of the House. It seems (though he was but a green Youth) that he had imbibed this Principle (though I believe it was not from his Mother's milk) that there is neither safety nor wisdom in it, for a man to intrust a Woman with those privacies, which are of any great importance, and require such secrecy, as is not to be found or expected amongst tattling Gossips.  
LXVIII. Envy no man's Purse or Estate, because it is richer than thine; the envious man doth murder himself; for envy consumeth the heart wherein it is nourished, as the Moth doth the Garment whereof and wherein it was bred. Not like the Maid Avicen speaks of, who feeding herself with poison, was nevertheless very healthful, but yet infected others with her venomous breath: But the envious man may be compared to the poisonous Amphisbaena, which instead of hurting others, bites and tears herself; who suffers his indignation at other men's good, like the Fox which the Lacedaemonian Boy stole and hid under his Coat, to gnaw out his own bowels. But it is enough to discountenance this Vice, that in the Gospel the Devil himself is called the envious Man.  
LXIX. As I would have thee shun Envy, so likewise be thou sure to avoid malice and hatred, he that hates another man is the Patient, he that is hated is the Agent, contrary to the sound of the words; for the Hater is in torment, the Hated in ease: so that nothing in this World is so much to be hated as hate itself.  
LXX. Take heed of being vindicative; for this as an Imposthume breaking forth, commonly strangles and chokes a man with his own blood: the Bee might keep her sting still, and not live like a Drone, did she not in her anger employ it to envenom the flesh of him that puts her from him. It is safer to forget an injury or smother it, than to go about to avenge it, if it were for nothing but this, yet this were punishment enough, that when thou goest about to avenge thyself upon any man, all shall be sure to be laid open in Choler that can be remembered, and his Tongue shall cast all thy faults in thy teeth. If he were a Friend that offended thee (saith Seneca) he did that he meant not; if an Enemy, he did but what he well might be expected to have done. If a wise man wrong thee, endure him; if a Fool, forgive him. Be not so foolish as to waste time in the pursuit of an Ignis Fatuus, which burns only to light thee to some Bog or Precipice: yet because thou mayst say that forbearance will make men presumptuous, and a second wrong is provoked by digesting the first, therefore I answer, thou mayst revenge wrong, but not by violence, but by Law.  
LXXI. Yet avoid going to Law as much as possibly thou canst; for be thy Cause never so good, thou mayst nevertheless not only fear the packing and embracing of the Jury, the suborning of false Witnesses, the bribing of the Judge, and those that are of Counsel with thee, but also the quickness of the Wit, the subtlety of the Rhetoric, and the volubility of the Tongue of those that are feed to plead against thee. There was a Lawyer that injuriously kept a poor man's Cow from him, wherefore he went immediately and complained to the King, who having heard his complaint, told him, that he would hear what the other could say to the matter, nay then, said the poor man, If you hear him speak, I shall surely lose my Cow; for he thought that the smooth Speeches and eloquent Rhetoric of his Adversary would effascinate the King's ears, and lead him which way he pleased. To this our purpose, it is worthy the observation, which Socrates said before the Judges in his own Defence, touching his Accusers, My Lords (saith he) I know not how you have been affected with mine Accusers Eloquence while you heard them speak; for my own part I assure you, that I whom it toucheth most, was almost drawn to believe, that all they said, though against myself was true, when they scarcely uttered one word of truth.  
Avoid therefore I say once more, the waging of Law, especially I would not have thee go to the Lawyer for every toy or trifle; for that will be to make him Rich, and thyself a Beggar. An honest Attorney gave an intimate Friend of his that had commenced a Suit at Law against another, this counsel (and truly he deserved a good Fee for it) Make an end with the Lawyers, before they make an end of thee. The Courts of the Law (saith my Lord Verulam in his Essays) are like those Bramble-bushes, whereunto while the sheep fly for defence and succour, they are sure to lose part of their Fleeces. There is an old Story, that a blind man and a lame man went to travel together by the Sea side, the lime man who was carried on the blind man's shoulders espied an Oyster, which he claimed because he espied it, the other claimed his share, because he carried him to the place where he found it, the case being doubtful, they referred it to the next man they met, who in the debating of the matter eat the Oyster, and gave them the shells. Thus it fareth with many who go to Law, the Lawyers eat the fish, and give them the shells, that is, they bleed their Purses, and that in a little time cures the heat of their contentions as Phlebotomy cures Fevers and Inflammations. Yet I would not have thee lose thy Right, nor suffer thyself to be fooled, wronged, and cheated, nor to let every Carrion Crow ride upon thy back and pick out thine eyes: and to the end thou thyself mayst not run into the lapse of the Law, I advise thee to live honestly, to trespass no man wilfully, and to render every man his due carefully.  
LXXII. It well becomes a Gentleman to make some inspection into the Laws of the Land, which I advise thee to do; that if thou be'st commissionated to be in thy Country a Justice of the Peace, all thy wit to manage that Office may not lie only in the Skull of thy Clerk: For as one of our modern Poets saith, It is the Clerk many times that makes the Justice of the Peace. Many without skill in this particular, have run into very dangerous Premunires; but besides this will make thee know, how to secure thy Estate against those who may endeavour to pick a hole in it; He had need (we say) of a long Spoon that eats with the Devil. And yet further, this will discover to thee the knavery or honesty of thy Lawyer in the managery of thy Lawsuits, in case thou be so unhappy as to be involved in ●…ny But I would not have thee to study the Quirks of the Law, for this may induce thee for thine advantage to be a Knave; unless thou study them merely to secure and defend thyself from them. Briefly, study to attain so much knowledge in the Law as may sufficiently inform thee of thine own Right, but not so much as to make thee quarrelsome and contentious with thy Neighbour or Parson; for this were to put a Sword into a Madman's hand. It is great pity, that it is so true, which once I heard a wise man say, That a good Lawyer is very seldom a good Neighbour.  
LXXIII. Avoid Duels; there are some whose fingers itch to be dipped in blood: and as among contentious men it is but a word and a writ, so among swaggering Hector's it is but a word and a wound. But thou wilt say, I think it a stain to my Credit, and a disgrace to my Name, if I shall not answer him, who having abused me in words, hath sent me the length of his Sword, and from whom I have received a proud Challenge: to this I reply, Wilt thou show such a base esteem of thy self, and set so low a rate on thy life, as to stake it for a Brawl and a few rash words of an Enemy, and yet wouldst be highly esteemed of others? In such a case be not troubled with a frivolous report of Dishonour, rather be prodigal of thy Reputation than thy life; run not wilfully into an Aceldama, into the Grave, into Hell to be counted valorous, care not so much for the shame of the world as the danger of thy body and soul. Men of great Valour have rejected Challenges, which have proceeded from those who have had more heart than brain, more head than wit, and that without any blemish at all to their Credit. When Anthony challenged Augustus, he answered, That if Anthony were weary of life, there were ways enough to death besides Duelling. But say, some will call thee a Coward, yet fear not shame so much as sin: thou hast but one body, do not adventure it upon the Sword of an Enemy, but one Soul, do not adventure it upon the Sword of God. Love a good Name, but yet as an Handmaid of Virtue; woe and court common Fame no further than it follows upon honest courses and virtuous actions, and think thyself but base, if thou shouldst depend upon vulgar breath, which is commonly none of the sweetest. It is as great a Symptom of a crazy Reputation, as it is of a crazy body, to be too impatient upon every slight touch. And truly (methinks) it is strange▪ that men should so eagerly pursue Honour, and so hotly court her, as to vindicate her upon any man, who should but touch her, though never so slightly, with the hazard both of body and soul. Whilst in their impious and inhuman Duels they make themselves, if they survive their Antagonists, either liable to be hanged by the Laws of men, or to be damned by the Laws of God: or finally liable to both, if God show not more mercy to them, than they did to their Brethren, whose blood they spilt in some vain, or perhaps drunken Brabble. But let them pass as dangerous men to be conversed withal, only 'twere good men would hearken to Gonsalvo, that famous Commander, who was wont to say, that a Gentleman's honour should be de telâ crassiore, of a stronger warp or web, than that every slight thing should catch in it, and be thought able to break it. Think besides the bloody fact being once committed, of those terrors which will (if thou hast any Grace left in thee) dog thy Conscience with the srightful Vissions of thy murdered Friend; and think moreover, how together with him thou hast murdered (unless thou canst procure a pardon) thy poor Children, and undone thy whole Family; and laid such a blemish upon thy posterity after thee, as peradventure shall never be blotted out again, the stain being laid so deep in blood.  
LXXIV. Be not too venturous in exposing thyself, like a Knight Errand, to needness dangers; 'tis an unhappy Proverb, He that courts perils shall die the Devil's Martyr. I have heard that in our last Civil Wars, a young Cavaliero being well mounted, started out to pickeer with another of the Enemy's side and killed him, and returning in a vain glorious manner to his Company, Prince Rupert, who then commanded that Party, and was a Spectator of his Bravery, asked him this Question, Sir, pray resolve me, whether you are an elder or a younger Brother? who replying, that he was an elder Brother, the Prince told him, That he had then that day showed his younger Brother fair play for it. And what got my Gallant by this, but instead of the applause he expected, the estimation of being Fool Hardy, rather than truly valiant. As I would not have thee kneel with the Camel to take up a burden, under which thou canst not rise again, so with the Elephant, I would have thee, like a stout man, to bear a Castle, if it be laid upon thy back▪ There is a time for the tolerancy of a man's crosses; and therefore neither like the wild Beast bred in a cold Climate, run from the fire, nor like a Moth, flittering about the Candle, run into it.  
LXXV. Come not presumptuousty into places where some are contagiously sick, lest thou come untimely to thy Grave: come not within the lists of destruction, he that would not fall into the pit, must not approach the brink. Likewise bestow cost, as long as thou mayst, to continue thy life, by upholding and repairing thy Cottage of clay. It is against the course of Nature, and a way to tempt the very God of Nature to destroy thee, wilfully to hinder thy health, or not to seek means to preserve it. God sendeth several Diseases, and hath appointed several Medicines as Remedies to encounter them: therefore honour the Physician, and with King Hezekiah, lay a plaster upon the Boil, say not man's life hath a period, as the Sea hath its bounds, beyond which it cannot pass; and therefore think not like a Turk, that if thy time be not yet come, that though thou thrust thy head into a Cannon, it cannot kill thee; for though no man can live one minute beyond the set time God hath appointed him to live, yet by refusing the due means to preserve thyself, or by thy sins and deb nicheries, thou mayst cut thy days the shorter. God that predestines the end, doth as well predestine the means tending to the attainment thereof. This the Psalmist makes evident, when he tells us, The wicked and bloodthirsty men shall not live out half their days. And we may observe by our daily experiences, that men in Fevers, Squinancies, and Pleurisies are preserved many years longer by timely Phlebotomy, who without such means would unavoidably and immediately perish. To this purpose I have read a remarkable Spanish Story, and it is this: There was in Toledo a debauched young Gentleman, scarce twenty years of age, who for Robbery and Murder was condemned to die, and being hanged, on the day of Execution, upon a Gibbet, suddenly there grew out of his, a little before unflidged Chin, a long Beard, white as Snow, which when the Archbishop of the place, coming to the Gallows, observed; he gave the amazed people that stood by this conjecture of so strange an Accident, that God by this wonderful thing had shown, that if the young Man had not cut himself off by his vicious and abominable courses, he might have lived to an extreme old age. Say not when thy Glass is run, do what thou wilt, thou canst stay no longer, and the Clock will strike when the Minutes be past, neither say, that that which must be shall be, and let death seek thee, yet it shall not find thee, till thy time be come, and therefore away with Physic, what shall means do? For then a Rope upon thee, try every Knife, eat Coloquintida thy belly full, frequent places, where the Air about thee doth infect, and where the breath of one body is poison to another, and by the like reason thou mayst excuse thy wickedness, and be desperately and dissolutely careless: But in matters of Hope, where the end is not known, use means with Asa, though thou rely not upon them; and though many times they avail not, yet take thou all the fairest ways, of all lawful remedies, since God's determinations are concealed from thee. And be not like those miserable minded men, who if they fall sick, had rather die a thousand deaths than pay the Apothecary's Bills. Upon the Miser in the Epigram, the Quipp lay heavier than his Grave stone, in which it was engraven, 
Here lies Father Sparges,  
Who died to save Charges.  Some others there be, who starve their bodies to make their purses fat, and put their bellies into their bags, as the Epicures put their money into their bellies, resembling a Dog in a Wheel, who roasts meat for others, but never a good bit for himself. Others warm themselves only with the sticks of a Crow's Nest, and dare not take so much as a Faggot-stick out of their Stacks and Piles, which they make to outlive all the Woods in the Country round about them: and hoard their Corn, rather to feed Rats and Mice, than themselves; so that they will not afford their own selves such necessaries as may keep them in good sort, and whereby they may preserve their lives. Yet I would not have thee to be like those, who for every Qualm take a Receipt, and cannot make two Meals, unless Galen or Hypocrates stand by their Trenchers; if thou dost so, thy purse will ever be without money, and thy body never without diseases.  
LXXVI. I would have thee to follow thy Study, and those Affairs in which thou art concerned; yet not to seek so immoderately the Wealth of thy Brain or Purse, as to lose the Health of thy Body; neglect not thy body to accomplish thy mind: when thy weakness checks thee, and thy body controls thee from assiduous, hard, and immoderate study, and from great cares and affairs of importance, affect not so much knowledge or wealth, as to debar thyself of those things, whereby thy health may be regained or retained.  
LXXVII. Further, I advise thee to study Men as well as Books; take heed of those that wink with one eye, and see with the other, it is a Proverb worth observation, 
He that winks with one eye, and sees with the other,  
I will not turst him, though he were my Brother.  Likewise take heed of those, that have their Beards of two colours, or their Head of one colour, and their Beard of another, for they are marked; and another Proverb bids us beware of those, whom God hath marked. A man's disposition is never better known than when he is crossed, as Proteus never changed shapes, till Hercules gripped him; but what a man is inward, is best to be discovered by these three things, Oculis, by his Eyes, Loculis; Purse, Poculis, Cups. To this we may add a forth, and that is Anger; for this passion will lay him open, as the fire burning in the Chimney, discovers all the things that are in the Room: and besides these four things, the very Lineaments, Colour, Complexion, and Habitude of the Body may give us some light of the Qualities and Dispositions of Men and Women, as is signified by these Rhymes, in which the small Poet speaking first of Women, gives us this account.  

Fair and foolish, little and loud,  
Long and lazy, black and proud,  
Fat and merry, lean and sad,  
Pale and peevish, red and bad.   

Then for Men he gives us this Account following.  
To a red man read thy read,  
To a brown man break thy bread,  
At a pale man draw thy Knife,  
From a black man keep thy Wise.   
LXXVIII. If thou takest Tobacco, which it matters not, whether thou dost, or no, yet if thou takest it moderately and Physically, it may as lawfully be taken as well as other things▪ which God hath afforded us, for our delight as well as our necessity: but to take it vainly as too many do, who are never well any longer than the Pipe, like a Turkeycocks snout, hangs dangling under their Noses, or to take it merely to pass away thy precious time, or as a salt bit to draw down thy Liquor, or as an help to discourse, is both ridiculous and blame-worthy: but besides, this Indian Weed immoderately taken, is very prejudicial to the body's health, it dries up the Lungs, it putrifies the Breath, and being of a Narcotick quality, it stupifies the Brain, and combines with the Bottle, to make a man a very Sot: which mischiefs and inconveniencies, are altogether summed up in these Rhymes, by another small Poet.  

Tobacco that outlandish Weed,  
It dries the brain, and spoils the seed,  
It dulls the spirit, it dims the sight,  
It robs a Woman of her right.   
LXXIX. Hate ingratitude above all things, for nothing is more hateful to God and Man: no Billingsgate Scold can fix a worse name upon thee, than to call thee an ungrateful person: it is worthy of remark, that unthankfulness and unholiness in sacred Writ, like an Harlequin of Hellish Hounds, are coupled together: never therefore forget to be thankful to any one from whom thou hast received a courtesy or benefit; in this thou wilt show both grace and wit, for thankfulness for the present benefits received, makes way for future ones. In the whole course of Nature, man may read a Lecture of gratitude; Rivers return their floods into the Ocean, from whence they derived their streams; the Clouds of Heaven repay the exhalations and vapours, which the earth sent up to them, with fruitful Flowers; thy Flocks and thy Kine recompense the Pasture and Fodder thou afford them, with their Fleeces and their Milk; and thy Bees, for thy kindness in hiving them in thy Garden requite thy love, with their Wax and Honey: and as I would not have thee be ungrateful thyself, so I advise thee to guard thyself against such as are so; for these like the savage Bears will be apt to bite the Water that quenches their thirst. Save a Thief from the Gallows and he will cut thy throat: indeed there are not a few such Villains to be sound in the world, who are apt to return evil for good, and are not ashamed to degenerate into such Monsters (Monsters did I call them? I might rather have termed them Devils, who labour to damn them the deepest, that serve them the most) as to hurt or betray those, to whom they are by Nature, by Blood, and by kindnesses most engaged and obliged. When King Richard the Third pursued the Duke of Buckingham, to put him to death (for usurping Tyrants use to cut down the stairs by which they climb up to their height) the Duke in his extremity did fly to one Bannister his Servant, upon whom he had bestowed great Means to enrich him. Bannister very carefully conveyed him into a Coppice▪ adjoining to his Mansion House and there preserved him, but within a while there is a Proclamation made, that whosoever could reveal where the Duke was, if he were a Bondslave, he should be enfranchised, and made free; if a Freeman, he should have a General Pardon, and be rewarded with a thousand Pounds, hereupon Bannister either for fear of danger, if he did conceal him, or hope of gain, if he did reveal him, bewrayed where his Master was, whereupon he was apprehended and carried to Shrewsbury where King Richard then lay, and there without Arraignment or any legal proceeding, he was in the Market place beheaded: Whether Bannister received the proclaimed Reward, or no, is uncertain; King Richard (loving the Treason but hating the Traitor) said (as it is reported) that he that would be false to so good a Master, would never be true to any, but certain it is, he received the Reward of a Villain, from Divine Justice; for himself was after hanged for murder, his eldest Daughter was deflowered by one of his Carters, or (as some say) strucken with a foul Leprosy, his eldest Son in a desperate Lunacy destroyed himself, and was found to have done so, by the Coroners inquest, and his younger Son was drowned in a shallow Puddle.  
LXXX. Be faithful to thy Prince and Country; and hate Rebellion and Treason as thou wouldst the Devil himself, for he was the first Rebel and Traitor that ever was: it is but just that his heart should be pulled out of his breast alive, who bears a false one to his Prince. Neither do thou grumble or repine at the Taxes and Impositions which are laid upon thee; for this is all thou payest to thy Sovereign, who, by his good Government and just Laws secures thy Peace and Safety, thy Life and Liberty, thy Estate and Religion. Observe it well, that in all Ages the sin of Rebellion hath constantly been attended with one swinging vengeance or other. Take one remarkable instance of this, in Corah, Dathan, and Abiram, for whom the Earth itself turned Sexton, and made their Graves. And as I would have thee according to Christ's injunction, Give unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's, so would I have thee, Give unto God the things which are Gods.  
LXXXI. Wherefore be just in the payment of thy Tithes, for he that Robs the Priest, Robs God himself also. And it will in the end rather impoverish than increase thine Estate: the Rabbins have a Proverb, and 'tis a true one, Pay thy Tithes and be rich: The Eagle which snatched the flesh from the Altar, to carry it to his young ones, burned them and his Nest with a burning Coal which stuck to it, had a due Reward of his Sacrilege: above all things, meddle not with the Lands of the Church, for that will bring a curse upon those lands which I shall leave thee; to be sure (according to Sir Henry Spelman's observation) the third Heir seldom or never enjoys the sacrilege of his Predecessors.  
LXXXII. Take heed by all means that thou break not the Peace of the Church; for Schism is but the Handmaid of Rebellion: The better therefore to preserve that, keep thy private Opinions in matters of Religion to thyself, if they be contrary to the established discipline of the Church. It is better thou didst never wear a Shirt upon thy back, than thou shouldst quarrel at another's decent wearing of a Surplice; this is but tithing of Mint and Cummin, and neglecting the weighty matters of God's Laws: 'Tis a bad matter to break the King's Peace, but 'tis a worse to break the Peace of God.  
LXXXIII. My Son, since I by mine own industry, and God by his Providence, has provided for thee a fair Estate, forget not to be charitable to the poor, it is a goodlier sight to see the Poor standing at a rich man's Gate than the Porter: and therefore as thou takest care to feed thy Hounds without doors, and to clothe thy naked Walls within with Tapestry and Cloth of Arras, so much more would I have thee to be careful, to fill the bellies of the hungry, and cloth the backs of the naked, that they perish not with hunger and cold: for as thou takest notice of thy come in, so God assuredly takes notice of thy layings out; to whom thou must one day give a severe Account, for every idle Penny, that thou hast spent as well as for every idle Word that thou hast spoken.  
LXXXIV. I have heard a story of a Gentleman and his Son, and the passages in it are very well worth thy observation; and that thou mayest the better remember it, I will cut it as short as the things will bear: This Gentleman had one only Son, whom he called to him and told him, that he was going out of the world, and therefore desired him to remember these three Precepts.  
First, To take a good proffer when it was offered.  
Secondly, Not to tarry at a Friend's house too long.  
Thirdly, Not to go too far for his Wife.  
The young Gentleman promised him, that he would carefully observe them; but shortly after, there came a Gentleman to his House, who saw in his Stable a very good Horse, unto whom he had a very great liking, and for which he proffered 80 l. but he refused it, and would not part with him under an 100 l. that night his Horse was taken in the Staggers and died; then he remembered his Father's first Admonition; wherefore he calls one of his Servants and commands him to skin his Horse, and take the skin and hang up in his barn▪ which accordingly was done. After this he rides abroad to visit a friend, who made him very welcome, but he stayed there so long▪ that his friend was weary of him, and caused to be brought to Table nothing but brown bread, whereupon seeing nothing but white bread before, he bethought himself that he had not observed his Father's second Precept; wherefore coming away, he begged one of the brown Loaves, telling them, that he liked the bread so well, that his Butler should make the like for him: so they gave him a Loaf, which when he came home, he bid his Man to hang in a Rope by the Horse skin. After this he bethinks himself of taking a Wife, wished he was to a Gentleman's Daughter, which lived an hundred miles or more from him; thither he goes, and woos the young Lady, and all things were agreed upon for the conclusion of the Match: but being upon some urgent occasion sent for home, he acquainted the old Gentleman after Supper with it, telling him, that his return should be short, and therefore craved that he might take his leave of his Mistress over night; but the old Gentleman would by no means suffer him, but told him that he was a better Husband, and his Mistress a better Huswife than so; and that they would be up time enough in the morning to take their leave of him; but the young Gentleman being up very betimes, and having ordered his Horses to be made ready, and bethinking himself, that it would not be handsome to ride away without taking leave of his Mistress, he went to her Chamber-door, and knocked very softly▪ but no body answering, and finding the Key in the outside of the Door, he unlocked it, peeped in towards the Bed, where he espied two in the Bed, and who should they be but the old Gentleman's Clerk and his Mistress asleep? Wherefore stepping into the Chamber, he took away the young Man's Breeches, which lay upon a Trunk, and put them into his Man's Portmantle; which after he came home, he caused to be hung by the Horse-skin and the Loaf, and never went more to visit his Mistress. At this the old Gentleman marvelled greatly, and therefore he would ride to see what the matter was, and especially to s●e his Sons-in-law Estate. And being come to the young Gentleman's house, he was very richly entertained; but being weary with his long and tedious Journey, the young Gentleman brought the old to his Chamber, and there left him to take his repose. The next morning the old Gentleman was up very early, and walked abroad to see what a good Husband his Son-in-law was, and saw all things very neat and handsome. As he was walking about, one of the Servants went and told his Master, that the old Gentleman was risen and walked abroad; he hearing it, presently arose, and met him, and then carried him into his Stable to see his Horses, from thence he conducted him into his Barn, where the old Gentleman looking up▪ espied the Horse-skin, the Loaf, and the pair of Breeches, of which he desired to know the meaning: Oh Sir, replied the other, those hang there to put me in mind of the three Cautions my dying Father gave me, and so he told him the same I have before mentioned. I understand well enough; said the old Gentleman, what the ●orse-skin and Loaf means, but do not, what the Breeches signify, Why, Sir, said he, they signify, that I had forgot that Caution my Father gave me, Not to go too sar for a Wife. Now those Breeches are your Clerks, whom I found, when I was at your house, in Bed with your Daughter, and therefore she is a fitter Wife for him, than she is for me: and thereupon he related the whole story, which when the old Gentleman, to his great grief had heard, he discontentedly departed, with a Flea in his Ear, and the young Gentleman stayed at home with more Wit in his Pate.  
LXXXV. Go not, or send (if thou hast lost any thing, or art not in health) to Cunning-men, Sorcerers, Soothsayers, Conjurers, or Witches, for the helping thee to what thou hast lost, or for the recovering of thy health; for if thou once goest to them, thou shalt always have need of them: besides, thou makest thyself a Servant to the Devil. A Neighbour of mine, whom I shall not name, for the respect I bear him, having lost some of his Goods, went to a Cunning-man or Conjurer, for the helping him to what he had lost, who ask him whether he did believe, that he could help it to him; for (says he) it is a Principle amongst us, that the firm belief of the party that addresses himself to us, that we can help him, is of as much force, for the accomplishment of his desires, as all our Schemes, Figures, Characters, and Conjurations. My Neighbour hearing this, told him that he now came to him with that firm belief: whereupon the Cunning-man (for so he was styled and accounted to be) asked him what Goods they were which he had lost, he told him, one of his best Horses, having thus answered, the Cunning-man withdrew himself into an inner Room; but my Neighbour being very desirous to see what he did, or to hear what he said, went very softly to the door, where attentively listening, he heard him say to the Devil, Thy Servant in the next Room hath lost one of his best Horses, which thou must help him to again; which as soon as my Neighbour heard, he answered, That he would not have his Goods upon such terms, but said, rather than he would be the Devil's Servant, he would lose his Horse and Saddle too, and so away he came, leaving the Conjurer and the Devil at a Parley.  
LXXXVI. If thou walkest in the paths of Policy, thou must be careful how to be reserved, not like the Snail, leave a Trace where thou hast gone, for that may betray thee; he that lies at too open a Ward, may soon be hit. But thy way must be like that of an Arrow or Bullets through the Air, quick for Dispatch, and safe for Secrecy: or rather thou must be like the River Arar, which flows into Rhodanus with such an incredible softness, that it is not to be discerned which way it ebbs or flows. He that taught us to be as innocent as Doves, taught us also to be as wise as Serpents. The changes and chances of a man's life, are as Casts at Dice, good and bad; a good one may be marred with oversight, and a bad one may be mended by good play. Fortune is like the Market, where many times, if you can stay a little, the price will fall: And again it is like Sibylla's Offer, which at first offereth the Commodity at full, then consumeth part and part, and still holdeth up the price. For Occasion turneth a bald Noddle, after she hath presented her Locks in Front, and no hold taken: or at least turneth the Handle of the Bottle, first to be received, and after the Belly which is hard to clasp. There is certainly no greater wisdom than to time, and consider the beginnings and onsets of things. Dangers are no more light, if they once seem so; and more dangers have deceived men, than forced them. Nay it were better to meet some dangers half way, though they come nothing near, than to keep too long a Watch upon their Approaches: For if a man watch too long, it is ten to one but he will fall asleep. On the other side, to be deceived with too long shadows (as some have been, when the Moon was low, and shone on their Enemies back) and so to shoot off before the time; or to teach dangers to come on, by over early buckling towards them, is another Extreme. The ripeness or unripeness of the occasion (as we said) must ever be well weighed; and generally it is good to commit the beginnings of all great Actions to Argus with his hundred Eyes; and the ends to Briareus with his hundred Hands: first to watch, and then to speed. For the Helmet of Pluto, which maketh the Politic man go invisible is, secrecy in the Counsel, and celerity in the Execution. For when things are once come to the Execution, there is no Secrecy comparable to Celerity▪ Yet measure not Dispatch by the Time, but by the Advancement of the Business. For as in Races, it is not the large stride or high lift that makes the Speed: So in Business, the keeping close to the matter, and not taking of it too much at once, procureth dispatch: And many times, and in many things it is better to make more use of the Ballast than of the Sail: And as we say in the Schools, that it is easier to oppose than answer; so 'tis easier to prevent dangers than to tarry for them, and better to have a good Buckler to keep off the blow, than a good Plaster to heal the wound. But be sure thou dost not, like Machiavelli, in all thy Politics leave out the Grace of God, or the Principles of Honesty and Justice. In all thy Actions be wise rather than crafty, and piece the Fox skin with that of the Lamb. For as our Saviour doth advise us to be as wise as Serpents, so doth he also advise us to be as innocent as Doves. Imitate those skilful and honest Physicians, who mix all their Deleterious Prescriptions with due Correctives. Climb to Preferment rather by thy Virtues and Merits than by thy Politics, if thou wouldst avoid the censure and fatal end of Boniface the Eighth, of whom it was said, that he entered into the Popedom like a Fox, lived like a Lion, and died like a Dog. And as I would have all thine Actions and Designs mixed with Honesty and Simplicity, so I would those Counsels, which thou imparts to others, to be no way pernicious, either to the Life, Estate, or Honour of any man. Wicked Counsellors are but the Devil's Agents, and they that harken to them, and take up their ungodly Propositions, are like those Sponges that suck up Aqua Fortis, which will afterwards consume and confound them. Never make God or Religion thy Stalking-Horse, to gain those designs at which thou dost levelly thine eye. (My Son) whether thou considerest the foul ways or satal ends of such Achitophel's, thou shalt find in the conclusion, that Honesty is the best Policy.  
LXXXVII. Beware of those that pretend to Religion and Godliness, but have it not in them, who Canonize themselves and call themselves the Saints, but will not call those, whom we know to be glorious Saints in Heaven by that style; which though they refuse to do for Honours, yet so should they do if it were but for distinctions sake, to difference them from other men. And here I cannot but tell thee a pretty Story. A Presbyterian Parson sent his Man upon Sunday morning (his old ones being done) for a pair of new Shoes to his Shoemaker, whose Christian Name was Paul, but his Servant stayed till he was in the midst of his Sermon, in which just as his Man step't into the Church, his Master with a loud voice said, but what saith Paul, who replied as loud (thinking that his Master had spoken to him about his Shoes) Marry, Sir, he saith that you shall have no new Shoes, till you have paid for the old ones. Now had he said, but what saith Saint Paul, he had prevented so gross and ridiculous a mistake. These are the men, that seem to gape so wide after Holiness, as if they would take it all into themselves, whereby they resemble the Fishes of the Sea, which by their wide mouths seem to suck in the whole Ocean, whereas, if a man cuts them up, he shall not find so much as one drop of water within them. For if thou note their Pride, Vainglory, and Hypocrisy, their rash Judgements and uncharitable Censures of all other men, their Covetousness, holy Cheats, and false Dealings with those with whom they commerce, their Contumacies and Rebellions against the King and his Laws, together with their unmercifulness and Tyranny over those over whom they have gotten the Power and Dominion, as signally appeared by their Plundering, Sequestering, Articling against their Pastors, and thrusting themselves into their Livings, and by their Decimating, Plundering, Sequestering, Shipping, Imprisoning, and Murdering their Brothers, yea and their Sovereign Himself also, and what is worse than all these, their to this very day not repenting themselves of all these Villainies, as is plainly manifest by their proneness and inclinations to relapse into the same, if they had the power so to do upon every Overture, thou shalt find them only to be oliver's Saints, and not Gods. These men make use of piety more to deceive men than to please God. They use Religion as some men do Glass-eyes, merely to honest, the ill-favouredness of their faces, not that they may see, or be the more enlightened by them. They have learned that Principle of Machiavelli, That a man seek not to attain Virtue itself, but the appearance of it only, because the credit of it is a help, but the use of it is a cumber. They speak as if their Tongues were tipped with Religion, but their Deeds are from it. They are as Lilies, fair in show, but foul in scent. They speak so fairly, and deal so foully, that a man would not believe they were made all of a piece; but when the wind sings and whistles in the leaves, look after for a storm. Take heed of these Devils wrapped up in a samuel's Mantle, trust them not when they speak, as though nothing but Gospel could drop from their lips, for in their hearts they mumble over the Devils Pater Noster.  
LXXXVIII. 'Tis no impolitic matter, when thou payest off thy Bills to thy Mercer, Taylor, or any other Tradesman with whom thou dealest, not to trust the crossing of their Books, without a Receipt under their hands, so thou shalt be sure never to pay for the same things twice: And so also, when thou receivest any Letters of importance, be sure to put them upon the File, for thou knowest not of what importance they may be to thee for the time to come; especially those that are sealed with a Coat of Arms. I knew an ancient Knight, whom Age and Experience had made a very prudent and politic Person, who when he received from any Gentleman or Person of Quality a Letter so sealed, would be very careful in the opening of it, to preserve the Seal entire; and he gave this Reason, why he was so careful in this seemingly slight matter, because if any thing written in such Letters, might hereafter be denied, or called in Question, he might show how the business stood, under the Hands and Seals of the Parties. But if thou receivest Letters that may import secrecy or any danger to thy Self or Friend, remember that as soon as ever thou hast read them to thyself, that thou commit them to Vulcan; remembering that as Bellerophon came to a fatal end, by those Letters which he himself carried and delivered, so many have done the like, by those Letters they have received and kept by them: as by instances may be made appear, almost in all Histories.  
LXXXIX. eat Neutrality; Alphonsus observed, that the Senenses, Neuters in the Italian Wars, became at length a Prey to both sides, comparing them to such as dwell in the middle story of an House, annoyed by smoke from beneath, and dust from above.  
XC. When thou art weary of thy study, or any other employment, take some honest recreation, use Hunting or Hawking, either start the Hare, or dislodge the Buck, or unkennel the Fox, or rouse the Hart, or unpearch the Pheasant; recreations which are honest, are as necessary for the mind, which is employed in great Affairs and cares of importance, as meat is for the body, which is exhausted with daily labour: But follow not thy sport with chafing, for it is a most improper thing to see men follow their P●…stimes with sretting and pelting, for thus, like a leaking Ship, they suffer the water to sink them which should bear them up. I mean, they let that which should be their recreation and delight, be their vexation and disquiet. There are as well generous delights as ingenious studies, and the one must lend some sweetness to the other; divers while they have been so precise, that they thought they might not delight in any sport, at last come to be so crestfallen, as that they take no delight in any thing: Nature made them sociable because she made them men, but they have sullenly strayed from the Drove, and abandoning all Mirth and Jollity, carry always cloudy foreheads, which is no way commendable, no not in an Horse: Doubtless God loves a cheerful man, as well as a cheerful Giver: and such assuredly deceive themselves, who think that they shall never look, like blessed Angels in Heaven, who look not like tormented Devils here on Earth; or that they shall never sing there, unless after a most disconsolate and discontented manner, they whine and Pule here, and speak as small as an Hair: Religion consists not in drawling Tones, or making of Faces, for a man may perform his duty more acceptably to God, without, than with dis-figuring his countenance; otherwise our Saviour himself would not have said be not of a sad (or as another Translation reads the word 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉) be not of a sour countenance: do thou therefore use lawful recreations, and keep up an honest merry heart.  
XCI. But above all Recreations I recommend unto thee these two, good Horsemanship and skill at thy Weapon; the one highly becomes a Gentleman, and will make him serviceable to his Prince and Country, if any occasion be; the other will teach him how to guard and defend himself: nevertheless I would not have thee suffer thy skill in that which I last mentioned, to make thee quarrelsome, or the more confident in thine own strength; but rather use thy Rapier as a defensive than an offensive Weapon, and as a Shield rather to ward the blow than give one.  
XCII. Be not addicted to superstitious vanities; some will look pale presently like death, if the Saltseller fall towards their Trenchers; others will take it for an omen that they shall be crossed in those negotiations they go about, if a Hare chance to cross them in their way, when the cross lies only in this, that they could not catch her; others, if they do but stumble at the Threshold, will not take their Journey that same day, but defer it to another time; others will by no means pair their Nails on Friday, because they say it is a cross day; many of these make Erra Pater their old Testament, and the Shepherd's Calendar their New; and take all that they say, to be as true as God's Oracles; others if they but hear a Crow croak from the Roof of their Neighbour's house, they presently set their house in order, saying they shall die and not live; and were I disposed to recount all the Roman superstitions of this kind, as their Dies fasti, & nefasti, their unfortunate and fortunate days, their inspections into the Entrails of Beasts, and their Augurations and Soothsay, upon the flight of Birds and the noises they make: I might reckon up a thousand such like vanities as these.  
Others there are who put their confidence in Astrologers, and therefore when they fall sick, the Stars are their Counsellors, they take their Almanac, if they find it an evil day when their sickness began, their soul is poured out upon them, they fear that they shall not only be weakened and sore broken, but that their health passing away as a cloud, they shall go the way of all the earth, that the grave shall be their house, and making their Bed in the dark, the worms shall feel their sweetness, and therefore making their wills, they take their leave of all the world; but if it be a good day, they doubt not, but all sickness shall be taken away from them, that health shall be unto their Navel, and marrow to their Bones, that their flesh shall be as fresh as a Child's, and return as in the days of their youth. In the year of our Lord 1524. one Bolton Prior of St. bartholomew's listening to the Prognosticators, who then generally foretold, that upon the watery Trigon, which should happen in the Month of February that year, many thousands should perish by a Deluge, caused an house to be builded upon Harrow on the Hill, whither he carried for himself and Family, provision for two months; so great a fear of an Inundation possessed him, and so great credence gave he to the Almanac Maker's Predictions, yet was there not a fairer Season many years before.  
Others there be who are very foolishly superstitious in reference to their Dreams; such a one was that Knight in the Reign of King Henry the First, who dreaming that one was about to strangle him with his own Hair, assoon as he was awake caused it all to be cut off, though he delighted much in it: to whom we may join those, who if they but dream forsooth of Eggs or Fees, they presently conclude they shall hear of anger the next day; or if they dream of Flowers or a Garden they shall hear of a Funeral: now the reason of this vain superstition, is grounded upon this, because they take an exact notice when they hit, but not when they miss. I am not ignorant that Artimedorus in his Oneirocriticks gives us a large account of the signification of those dreams, which possess our Brains in the night, but for mine own part I hold them to be of no signification at all, unless they come by divine immission: of which kind (not to speak of those which we meet with in Holy Writ) I take these two, which I shall now relate to be; the first of which signifies, that God comprehends in himself all wisdom, and that all men in the World, are Fools: and the second that divine Justice will not suffer Murder to go undiscovered.  
1. A Noble man of Rome dreamt that he was sitting in the Shop of an Apothecary, into which a great Rabble suddenly rushed, and catching up all the Glasses and Bottles that they found filled with Syrups and distilled waters, they drunk up every one of them, except only one great Bottle, out of which they sucked not up so much as one drop: after them he seemed to see a person of a very majestical and venerable aspect, who came likewise into the same Shop, and as soon as he espied that Bottle, which all the rest had refused, he set it to his mouth, and drank up every drop of that Liquor with which it was filled; and having done so, he likewise departed, at whose Person and Action the Nobleman admiring, asked the Apothecary who that reverend man was, to whom he replied, Oh, Sir, that person you saw was God, and the Water in the great Bottle which he drank up, and which all the other Rout refused, was Wisdom. Upon which the Nobleman awaked, highly pleased with his most excellent dream.  
2. The other is this, two Fellow Travellers riding together, came by night, to a certain Town, where they parted, the one to his Friend's House, the other to a common Inn, he that lodged at his Friend's House, dreamt that he saw his Companion that lodged at the Inn stand at his Bedside, and desired him that he would arise and make haste to help him, or he should be murdered by his Host, but being very drowsy and weary with his Journey he arose not; wherefore in a short time after his Companion again appeared, and requested him more earnestly to arise and succour him; but he making no account of all this slept again; but he left him not so, but appeared unto him the Third time, all bloody, telling him that it was now too late to implore his aid, but yet he requested him to avenge his Blood upon the Murderer his Host; who (as he told him) had killed and buried him in his Dung-Mixon, where he should find his Corpse: at which the other started out of his sleep, and arose, and taking the Officers with him▪ secured mine Host, and upon further search found the Body of his Fellow Traveller, with his Throat cut: and so by this means God disclosed the Murder, and those that had an hand in it were brought to condign punishment.  
My Son, if such foolish Conceits and Fancies as those which I have before mentioned, call at thy Door, use them as vagrant Passengers, with slight respect, let them not take up any lodging within thee. But though I would not have thee superstitious, yet I would have thee devout.  
XCIII. Wherefore forget not to begin and end with God, by thy morning and evening Devotions; so will every thing thou settest thine hand about fadge and prosper the better, yea the quicker shall be thy dispatch; for as the Dutch Proverb hath it, Stealing never makes a man rich, Alms never make a man poor, and Prayer never hinders a man's business. Before thou dost compose thyself to take thy rest, make up thine accounts between God and thine own soul; and consider what the day passed thou hast thought, done, or spoken amiss; Short reckonings (we say) make long friends. And where thou hast found that thou hast failed in thy duty, resolve to amend the next day following: but be sure thou make good thy resolutions, that thou resemble not St. George on the Sign Post, always seeming to strike at, but never wounding the Dragon: or that of the Archer, always aiming at, but never hitting the mark: good intentions are but Buds, but God requires we should bring forth Fruit meet for Repentance. But above all close not thine eyes, without begging pardon for what is past; remembering that sleep is too much like Death, to be trusted without a man's Prayers.  
XCIV. Keep thyself to the true Principles of Piety, Virtue, and Honour; for this will bring thee to a better Inheritance than I shall leave thee: especially I would have thee well grounded and settled in Religion; the best profession of which I have ever esteemed that of the Church of England, in which thou hast been educated, yet I would have thine own judgement and reason now seal to that sacred Bond which Education hath Written, that it may be judiciously thine own Religion which thou dost profess, and not other men's Custom or Tradition.  
XCV. My Son, as for Travelling it is very good, if it be used well; Homer highly exalts the wisdom and experience of Ulysses, which he gained in his twenty years' Travels; for as he tells us 
Multorum mores Hominum conspexit, & Vrbes.  He observed the Cities and the Manners of the People whithersoever he traveled; and from thence drew such useful Theories, as made him a most accomplished person. Indeed he that Travels with Wit in his head as well as money in his Purse, makes the whole World his Library, and all men therein his Books: but fill not up thy Table-Book with trivial slight Observations, for that will call thy judgement and discretion in question; as it did Tom. Coryats' of Odcomb, who gives us an account where he made water when he was in Italy, what the mending of his Stockings cost him there, and how he hardly escaped the losing of his Testicles, with a thousand of as mean occurrences, as these. Let thine observations in thy Travels be weighty and material; observe the humours and conditions of those Nations amongst whom thou shalt come; their Customs, Ceremonies and Religion, that seeing their Idolatry, thou mayest the more firmly stick to thine own Religion, which thou dost profess. Next take notice of their Churches and Oratories, and whatsoever is notable in them, their Government, Laws, Judicatures, and Proceedings, against Malefactors with their dealings in matters of Traffic and Commerce, their Castles, Magazines, and Discipline in War, their Ships, the commodiousness of their Havens, their Rivers, Fish, Birds, Beasts, and Mines of all sorts, their Buildings, Structures, and all those curious Arts, which seem to be peculiar to the genius of the People, and every thing that justly claims a man's wonder and admiration: for by these thou shalt the better acquaint thyself with the wonderful operation of the handiworks of God, and shalt the clearer see his infinite wisdom in his Government of this inferior World. Finally note the Virtues of the people and imitate them; their Vices and Vanities likewise, but to avoid and abhor them. There are many young Sparks that travel abroad, who leave the English Gentleman they carried out with them, and bring home again nothing, unless it be a formal Spaniard, a drunken Dutchman, or an airy Frenchman: nay it is well if they bring not home a Turk instead of a Christian; instead of returning like Solomon's Ships fraught with Gold, they return furnished only with Apes and Peacocks; my meaning is, they return learned only in the pride and vanity of those Foreigners, amongst whom they conversed with in their Travels; instead of taking a due cognizance of those things which are of such worth and remark as might enrich their judgements and understandings. Doubtless it cannot be worth a man's cost, pains, and perils to go so far (as some do) only to learn a new Mode or a new Oath, a politic shrug, or a mimical cringe, or a little Gibberish pronounced with an ugly Face: If this be all, it were better for my young Gallant to be chained at home in the chimney corner, like a Monkey, than to return such an Ape.  
Wherefore, if thou intendest to travel, and to avoid these Rocks upon which others have dashed themselves to pieces, take along with thee a grave and wise Companion or Tutor, who by his own former Travels hath acquainted himself with the things forementioned: for Travels by Land are like Voyages by Sea, unsafe without a skilful Pilot. And furthermore take along with thee, these few advices and necessary cautions, which I shall give thee.  
First be grave, sober, and reserved; Momus found great fault, that the great Creator had not made men with Windows in their Breasts, that men might have seen into their insides; and a bold Atheist he was, that thus durst impeach the wisdom of God: but sure I am, 'tis a very grand folly for any man to make as it were such a Window in his own Breast, especially when he Travels into foreign Countries; the way to put by those mischiefs which may befall thee in thy Travels, is to lie at a close guard; and not be like Crystal, for every one to see through thee.  
If thou travelest into Italy, munite thyself there from three things most especially, 

The Men.  
The Women.  
The Inquisition.   For the Men there are very jealous and vindicative; the Women unchaste and allective, and very much affected with the English above all men; and the Inquisition is like Hell, from whence there is no Redemption: to avoid which in all those Countries where that is set up, take heed of raising disputes concerning matters of Religion; for this will make thee guilty of as rash a madness, and as huge an imprudence, as that of the Quaker, who resolved to go from London to Rome to confute and convert the Pope. If thou thinkest him to be Antichrist, let no man however hear thee call him so in his own Territories and Dominions: Learn more wit of that Collier, who durst not bid a Fig for my Lord Mayor, till he had got beyond Temple-Bar, which is out of the Limits of his jurisdiction. One of our Countrymen intending in his Travels to visit Rome, was highly commended for his rare parts and abilities in all manner of Learning to his Holiness; who was then by birth an Englishman: who, upon his commendatory Letters, the more to show honour and respect due to the merits of the Gentleman, went himself in person to show him the Vatican; where after many Discourses, and the turning over of many Books, he took him aside into one of the Criel Windows and conjured him to tell him ingeniously his thoughts of the Pope; assuring him with many deep promises and protestations, that he should not be prejudiced by it in the least; whereupon the Gentleman freely told him, that he thought the Pope to be a great Wen, growing in the Nape of the Church's neck, which some foolish people mistook to be the head of it. This was a very bold, but withal a very dangerous resolution of the Question, notwithstanding all engagements passed for his security: since it is a Maxim amongst all of the Romish persuasion,  
Nullam fidem tenendam esse cum Haereticis.  
That no Faith is to be kept with Heretics.  
My last Advice in the point concerning Travelling into other Countries shall be this; be sure before thou visit other Nations and Kingdoms, to acquaint thyself well, with the knowledge of that in which thou hast been born and bred: for it will be a great shame, to be inquisitive into what is done abroad in other Countries, and to be wholly ignorant how things stand at home in thine own: for this were to do as the Lamiaes, who carried their Eyes shut up in a Box, when they were at home, and put them into their Heads only, when they went abroad.  
XCVI. To conclude, be useful where thou dost live, that those who live about, by, and with thee, may both want and wish for thy presence still. Be temperate and sober at thy Meals and Compotations; and look to thy Mouth, for there commonly most diseases enter; and more graves are made with men's teeth than their hands, and the Knife kills more than the Sword. When thou art invited to an extraordinary etertainment, that thou mayest not be tempted to exceed the bounds of temperance, and sobriety, Carve or Discourse; he who Carves is kind to two, he that Discourses is kind to all. Scorn no man's love, though he be of never so mean degree, that person deserves to be bitten by that Dog whom he will not stroke, when he kindly sawns upon him. Much less make any one though never so much below thyself, justly thy Enemy; remembering that Fleas can bite as well as Lions, and that Bees can sting as well as Serpents. Pitch thy Behaviour low, thy projects high: Be humble to thy Superiors, gentle to thine Equals, affable to thine inseriours, courteous to all. Be not light to follow every man's opinion; like a young Spaniel, that quests at every Bird that rises before him: Etiam ab errore facilè discedere, levitatis est, saith Scaliger, to discede over easily, even from an Error, argues too much levity: yet would I not have thee perversely obstinate in thy own courses or opinions: it is the Character of a Fool to abhor instruction; hard Wax will never take any impression, and Wisdom will never commit Burglary, to break in upon those who lock and Bolt their doors against her; though a man cast an empty Bottle into the Ocean, yet if it be close corked, it will still be but an empty Bottle. Amongst all those Treatises which may leave thee Wiser than they found thee, I commend to thy frequent reading the Proverbs of King Solomon, and his Ecclesiastes or the Preacher. Finally (my Son) serve, love, and fear God; to whose Grace, Mercy, and Protection I leave thee: And so farewell, until we meet in another World.  
FINIS.   

Errata.  
Which together with some smaller literal faults the Courteous Reader is desired to excuse and with his Pen to amend.  
Page 5. line 17. read Patrizare for Patricare. p. 20. l. 24. r. quoque for quique p. 27. l. 16. r. not for no. l. 28. r. the Hen had untr 〈…〉 there, for he had untrust a point there. p. 28. l. 12 〈…〉 ●onabus nostris, for Nebulonibus nostris.  
Other Faults there may be, but they are not worth speaking of, and therefore I shall not speak much of them: But let the Reader take this for good advice, and as a general rule, never to read any Book whatsoever, until he has corrected the faults (if they are collected in an Errata) for so he shall prevent the committing any himself.   

LICENCED,  
October 26. 1672. R. L.