An Account of the Arraignment, Trial, Escape, and Condemnation, of the DOG of Heriot's Hospital in Scotland, that was supposed to have been Hanged, but did at last slip the Halter.  
SIR,  
KNowing that you are disirous to hear news from Scotland, I thought fit to show you that that Act whereby all public Officers are obleadged to take the Test, is rigorowsly put in executione, and thereby many persons baith in Kirk and State, throughout the hall● Kingdom, by reason they are not free to take the said Test, are Incoutlnently turned out of their places, whilk severity gave occasione to a wheen Loun Ladd's belonging to the hospittal of Hariots Buildings in Edenbrough, to divert themselves with somewhat like the following Tragi-Commedy.  
The Lounes it seems fell intil a debate amongist themselves, whither or no, ane Mastiff Tike, who kept the outmost gate, might not by reason of his Office of Trust, come within the compass of the Act, and swa, be obleadged to take the Test, or be turned out of his place,  
(The Tike thereupon was called, and interrogat, whither he would take the Test, or run the hazard of forfaulting his Office, whilk was asked again, and again.  
The silly Cur boding no ill, answered all their Queries with silence, whille had been registrat as a flat refusal, had not on of the Lounes, mair bald than the rest, taken upon him to be his Advocate, who standing up, pleaded that silence might as well be interpreted assent, as refusal, and thereupon insisted, that it might be tendered to him in a way mayst plausible, and in a poustar mayst agreeable to his stomach.  
This Debat lasted not long, until all agreed, that ane Printed Copy should be thrumbled of as little boulke as it could, and thereafter smured over with Tallow, Butter, or what else might make mayst temping to his appetit; this done, he readiely took it, and after he had made a shift, by rowing it up and down his mouth, to separat what was pleasant to his palate, and when all seemed to be over, on a sudden they observed somehat (ilke piece after another) droped out of his Mouth, qwhilk the Advocats on the other side said it was the Test, and that all his irksome champing and chowing of it, was only, if possible, to separate the concomitant nutriment, and that this was mikel worse than an flat refusal, and give it were rightly examined, would upon Trial be sound no less than Leiseing-making.  
To this his Advocate opponed, That his Enemies having the rowing of it up, might perhaps (through deadly spite) have put some crooked prin intil it, and that all the so 〈…〉 lings and rowing of it up and down his mouth, might be by reason of the prin, and not through any scu●●ering at the Test itself, and that there was nought in the hail matter, that looked like Leiseing-making, except by interpretation, and his Adversaries allowed to be the only Interpreters. Yea, what was mair offered, that his Client should have a fair Trial before competent Judges, qwhilk was unanimously granted.  
A Court thereupon being convocat, ane assize constitut, the Indictment being read, there fell out warm pleading upon baith sides, amongst the Advocats, those against him pleaded, that he was 〈…〉 to take so mikel upon him, and that the chaming and cherking of the Test belonged nought to him, nor to none like him, who served only in inferior Offices, and that his trust and power reached nought so far, and by what he had done, he had made himself guilty of mair nor a bare refusal, according as was Libelled. Those for him pleaded, That he could be guilty of nather, since he had freely taken it in his Mouth, willing to have swallowed it down, and that there was no fault in him, bot in its self, that it passed not, since it fell a sqwabeling, one part of it hindering another fight in his half, and if would have agreed in its self, to have gone down all one way, he would blaithly swallowed it, as he had done many untouthsome morsel before, as is well known to all the Court, ane other pleaded, that he had officiat very dutifully, and was niver known to balk his Trust: bot that was answered with this, all his former good Service could not excuse his present guilt; guilt qwoth an other, if that be guilt, he hath many marrows, and why should he be worse handled than all the rest? bot what ever could be said in his favours, when the business came to the Jury, they found that he had so mangled the Test with his explanatory tongue and teeth, and swa misleardly abused it with his slaver, that it was right soon agreed upon, to be at least Interpretative-Treason, and consequently brought him in guilty of Leiseing-making. Whereupon he was ordered to close Prison, till ane other time, that the Court call him forth to receive his doom, to be hanged like a Dog.  
(As the Lounes was removing him from Court to Prison, there chanced a Curate to be present, who asked, what was the matter, what ailed them at the Dog? one of the Limmers answered, That he being in public Trust, was reqwired to take the Test, and had both refused it, and abused it, whereupon he was to be hanged; the Curate storming, said, They deserve all to be hanged for such presumptuous mockery; the Lounes laughing aloud, cried out with one consent, That he and his Brethren deserved better to be hanged, than any of them, or the Tike either, smoe they had swallowed that which the Tike had refused.  
This surpriseing Verdict, you may be sure, created no small grumbling of the gussorne with the Advocats and others, who spared not to utter there private sentiments, and blaze abroad the Arguments Pro, and Con, and what further might have been homolagating, had not the Court hasted to have the Tykes Life, take a few of them as they come to hand.  
Some suspected deadly feud in the Chanselor of the Jury, alleging that ane Enemy was not fit to be a Judge, this was answered with, that he was of more Noble Extract, then to slain his Honour with so base an Act, and that his own Reputation would make him favoured; an other objected, that a Tykes refusing so good a Test, might be of ill example to Creatures of better reason; to this a pakie Loun answered, That it could not be good, since Lion Rampant, King of Tykes, nor none of his Royal Kine, would not so much as lay their Lips to it, far less to swallow it, and therefore,— this was interrupted by on, who was a principal Limmer among them (a contradiction reconciler) who would needs help him with a Logical distinction, whereby he like ane Aberdeens man, might Cant and Recant again.  
Bot he was soon snibed by another, who said, That the Tike would nather sup Kail with the Devil, nor the Pope, and therefore needed not his long Spoon; well said ane other, this is mair nor needs, since we are all sure that the Tike could not have kept his Office so long, bot he most needs have swallowed many a buttered Burr before this time, and it was bot gaping a little wider, and she hazard was over. Nay, qwoth his Nighbour, the hazard was greater than ye imagine, for the Test, as it was rowed up, had many plies and implications in it, one contrary to another, and swa the Tike might have been qucikened ere it had been all over, ilk ply as it were rancountering another wresling and fight in his ●ass.  
Prait, quoth an other, this ●ast Apology is needless, since the Tike hath (in my opinion) swallowed the better part, if not the hail Test, though I most confess, he hath vomited it up again, let us therefore try him, if like a Dog he will lick up his own vomit, bot this project was universally rejected, bait by the mayst charitable, as bootless, and by the mair severe, as to great a favour.  
Favor (qwoth a Chield, who had been sk●eping all the while, and only heard the word favour) what, show favour to such a Loun as he? na, rather let him who hath the longest Arm, thrust it so far down his Throat, so that an other may pull it out at his Tail, then be thus ●●sht with him, though he were my own Brother, and then we may be sure he hath taken it, and all the parts of it; bot this only moved Laughter, for none was found that would undergo so foulsome a hazard.  
But to return to the Tike, for some will be curious, to hear what came of him, matters being th●● precipitat, and all hopes of reprieve uncertain. A Wylie Loun advised him to lay by the Sheep's (which had done him so little good) and put on the Fox's skin, who covertly through fear, hiding his own t●●● between his Legs, and gripping an others train, passed through all the Gates undiscovered, and swa is a missing.  
This be was forced, when right did fail  
To give them the flap with a Foxes Tail.  
Now what is become of him sine sign, and what proclaimations was issued out after him, you may probably hear hereafter.  
Mean while, because the contradiction reconciler was so soon (contrary to the Laws of disputation) interrupted, before he could bring forth his Logical distinction; and since the curious have sorely tortured their Engines, searching which of the Schoal nicety that might; I shall only trouble you with a few of their conjectures, and leave it to the Judgement of the Learned to determine, which had been mayst suitable.  
One fancied that it was this, that the Tike might take the Test, Secundum Quid, though not Simpliciter, ane other, in sensu diviso, though not in sensu composito, a third, that though it was deadly to take it with verbal interpretatione, yet it might be safe enough, with mental reservatione, a fourth, be thought him on this, that though his stomoch did stand at it, in s●nsus●urivoco, yet might easily digest it in sensu & aequivoco; a fifth, (gerning the while) was for this, that it might take it, though not formaliter, in at his mouth, by way of Potion or Bolus, yet fundamentaliter in at this bottom, by way of Glister or Suppository? a sixth, brought forth this blind whely, that it might he safely taken, In veheculo caecae obedintiae, bot could not think on the other member of the distinction; and some said it had none, the times when it was used being so ignorant and unintentive; a seventh, who thought all the former distinctions too subtle and airy, and that which was bred in the bone went niver out of the flesh, except by more severe Medecins, than was yet tried, proponed, an admirable compound to be used, as an excellent preperative to the Test, alleging, that all those needless scroupolosities did proceed from these ill humours, which could not be expelled, without the total evacuation of Christianity; the Receipt, as it was transcribed out of the Packet of Advice from Rome, take as follows, from the Laboratory of the Inquisition, June 22.  
After many Years pains and study, a niver failing Medicine, called a Catholic Pill, to purge out Christianity, approved by the most Learned Fathers in Spain, Italy, and other places; the true Receipt is as follows,  
Receipt Take 〈◊〉 pound weight of ●●●-Ignorance, as many Drhames of Monckish Devotion as you can get, half a score of planary Indulgences, and a douson of well conceived Equivocations, Venial Sins, as many as you please, and a pocket full of Dispensations, boil all these in a Jesuits Brain pan, and add thereto, of the Doctrine of probable Opinions, and of Seminary Priests Loyalty, quantum sufficit, after fermentation Clape in Nine Miracles prepared, secun dum artem, by the Assigns of Father Cressy, to give it a Tincture, sprinkle a small dash of Penance, and wrap up the whole mass in the Pope's Infallibility, and take it blindfold in a Cup of Absolution, at any time of Life, bot especially at the hour of Death, and it will do your bussiness. The Operation is downward, or infernal, carrying all humours that way. It is also Opiate, or stupifying, because after a sufficient Dose of it, you may swallow any Malignity whatsomever, without any hazard of griping. Probatum est.  
— Ridendo dicere verum,  
Quid vitat — Juven.—  
Now Sir, The news of the Tykes escape being blazed abroad, the Court assembleth to consult, what, was then anent to be done, several overtures was proponed; one said, that the affronting escape, and other misdemeanours of that Tike, was so great, that the highest severity was too little, an other said, fine he is gone, let him go, what have we more to do, bot put another in his place; a third said, that his presumptuous and treasonable carriage, would be of ill example to others, unless due punishment followed thereupon; a fourth said, had he not been confident of his own Innocency, he would niver have byden a Trial, and sine he met with such a surprising Verdict, what could he do less, then flee for his Life? would not the best in the Court, if he had been in his Circumstances, done the like; a fifth said, if he had been condemned, and hanged in time, he had not played us this prank, bot seeing we have miss himself, let us seize well on what he hath left behind him. After debating, they came to a conclusion, and ordered the s●im to be Published; the Tenor whereof follows,  
Whereas ane cut lugged, brounish coloured Mastiff Tike, called Watch, short leged, and of low stature; who being in Office of Public Trust, was required to take the Test, and when it was lawfully tendered to him, he so abused it, and mangled it: whereupon he, after due Trial for his Presumption, was Convict of Treason, and sincesyn hath broken Prison, whereupon the Court adjudges him, To be hanged like a Dog, whenever he shall be apprehended; and in the mean time, declares his Office, his hail Estate heiratable and movable, and all causualties belonging to him, to be Echeated and forfaulted, and Ordeans the Colectors of the Court to uplift his Rents and Causualties, and to be countable to the Court, both for diligence and intermisson, and also discharges all persons to reset or harbour the Fugitive Traitor, and likeways, gives assurance to all persons, who shall either apprehend him, or give true information of him, swa that thereupon he bees apprehended, the person swa doing, shall have 500 l. for his pains, given at our Court, etc.   

London, Printed for the Author, M. D. 1682.