CERTAIN VERSES WRITTEN By several of the author's Friends; TO BE reprinted WITH THE Second Edition OF GONDIBERT.  
LONDON, Printed in the Year, 1653.   

Certain Verses written by several of the author's Friends, to be reprinted with the second Edition of GONDIBERT.  

Upon the PREFACE.  

ROom for the best of Poets heroic,  
If you'll believe two Wits and a Stoic;  
Down go the Iliads, down go the AEneidos,  
All must give place to the Gondiberteiados.  
For to Homer and Virgil he has a just Pique,  
Because one●s writ in Latin, the other in Greek:  
Besides an old grudge (our Critics they say so)  
With Ovid, because his surname was Naso.  
If Fiction the fame of a Poet thus raises,  
What Poets are you that have writ his praises?  
But we justly quarrel at this our defeat,  
You give us a stomach, he gives us no meat.  
A Preface to no Book, a Porch to no house:  
Here is the Mountain but where is the Mouse?  
But, oh, America must breed up the Brat,  
From whence 'twill return a West- India Rat.  
For Will to Virginia is gone from among us,  
With thirty two Slaves, to plant Mundungus.    

Upon the Prefaece of GONDIBERT.  Mar. Epig. Lasciva est nobis Pagina vita proba est. 

AS martials life was grave and sad,  
Wanting the mirth his Verses had:  
Even so, this our long Preface shows,  
What ere we want, our Book has nose.    

To Sir W. DAVENANT.  

1.  
AFter so many sad mishaps,  
Of drinking, rhyming, and of claps,  
I pity most thy last relapse.   

2.  
That having past the Soldiers pains,  
The statesmen's Arts, the seamen's gains.  
With Gondibert to break thy brains.   

3.  
And so incessantly to ply it,  
To sacrifice thy sleep, thy diet,  
Thy business; and what's more, our quiet.   

4.  
And all this stir to make a story,  
Not much superior to John Dory,  
Which thus in brief I lay before ye.   

5.  
All in the land of Lombardy,  
A Wight there was of knight's degree,  
Sir Gondibert y●…leap'd was he.   

6.  
` This Gondibert (as says our Author)  
Got the good will of the King's daughter,  
A shame it seems, the devil ought her.   

7.  
So thus succeeded his Disaster,  
Being sure of the Daughter of his Master,  
He changed his Princess for a plaster.   

8.  
Of person he was not ungracious,  
Grave in Debate, in Fight audacious;  
But in his Ale most pervicatious.   

9  
And this was cause of his sad Fate,  
For in a Drunken-street Debate  
One night, he got a broken Pate.   

10.  
Then being cured, he would not tarry,  
But needs this simpling girl would marry  
Of Astragon the Apothecary.   

11.  
To make the thing yet more romancy,  
Both wise and rich you may him fancy;  
Yet he in both came short of Plancy.   

12.  
And for the Damsel, he did woo so,  
To say the truth, she was but so-so,  
Not much unlike her of Toboso.   

13.  
Her beauty, though 'twas not exceeding,  
Yet what in Face and shape was needing,  
She made it up in Parts and Breeding.   

14.  
Though all the Science she was rich in,  
Both of the Dairy and the kitchen:  
Yet she had knowledge more bewitching.   

15.  
For she had learned her father's skill,  
Both of th'Alimbick and the Still,  
The Purge, the Potion, and the Pill.   

16.  
But her chief talon was a Glister,  
And such a hand to administer,  
As on the Breech hath made no blister.   

17.  
So well she handled Gondibert,  
That though she did not hurt that part,  
She made a blister on his heart.   

18.  
Into the Garden of her Father:  
Garden, said I; or backside rather,  
One night she went a Rose to gather.   

19  
The Knight he was not far behind,  
Full soon he had her in the wind;  
(For Love can smell, though he be blind.)   

20.  
Her business she had finished scarcely,  
When on a gentle bed of parsley 
Desunt 〈◊〉.   
Full fair & soft he made her Arse-ly.    

Upon the continuation of GONDIBERT.  

THy Verses feet to run so fast,  
And thine alas in fetters placed;  
I always thought, and now I see't,  
Thy brain's less itable than thy feet.  
This, 'tis, to be severe to us,  
For naming Gods and Pegasus.  
Couldst thou but such a horse have shaped,  
Thou hadst with gallant massy scap't,  
Or couldst thou but frame Gyges' Ring,  
Long since (poor Will) th' hadst been a Wing,  
Thou liest not there for any plot,  
But 'cause a Poet thou art not.  
Nor ken'st thou Daphne how thy rhymes should rage  
And lift the Poet o'er the walled stage:  
'Tis not a Moat can have the fate or power,  
To hold the Muses, nor great Caesar's Tower,  
Homer and Virgil both thy back-friends have  
The privilege to break out of their grave,  
And they that slight them must not hope to thrive  
But lie confined and buried alive.  
Nor think it strange thou art not spared,  
But cast into a goal unheard,  
Those ancient Bards no better sped,  
Condemned by thee though never read:  
Naso made Dedalus the Seas to cross,  
Though the rash Icarus were at a loss.  
But this our Anti-Naso's Muse doth flutter,  
Like stubble-goose that scarce gets o'er the gutter.   

These colours that they ne'er may fail,  
Were laid in Sack and Northdown Ale.    

The Author upon himself.  

I Am old Davenant with my Fustian quill,  
Though skill I have not.  
I must be writing still  
On Gondibert,  
That is not worth a fart.   

Waller and Cow, 'tis true, have praised my book,  
But how untruly  
All they that read may look;  
Nor can old Hobbs  
Defend me from dry bobbs.   

Then no more I'll dabble, nor pump fancy dry,  
To compose a Fable,  
Shall make Will Crofts to cry,  
Oh gentle Knight,  
Thou writ'st to them that shit.    

A Letter sent to the good Knight.  

THou hast not been thus long neglected,  
But we thy four best friends expected,  
Ere this time thou hadst stood corrected.   

But since that Planet govenes still,  
That rules thy tedious Fustian Quill  
'Gainst Nature and the Muses will.   

When by thy friend's advice and care,  
'Twas hoped in time thou wouldst despair  
To give ten pounds to write it fair.   

Lest thou to all the world wouldst show it,  
We thought it fit to let thee know it,  
Thou art a damned insipid Poet.    

Upon Fighting WILL  

THe King knights Will for fighting on his side,  
Yet when Will comes for fighting to be tried,  
There is not one in all the Armies can  
Say they ere felt, or saw this fighting man.  
Strange that the Knight should not be known i'th' Field,  
A Face well charged tho nothing in his Shield.  
Sure fighting Will like Basilisk did ride  
Among the Troops, and all that saw Will died,  
Else how could Will for fighting be a Knight,  
And none alive that ever saw Will fight.    

In pugnacem Daphnem.  

Pugnacem Daphnem Rex ordine donat Equestri,  
Sed quod pugnasset cum foret ille reus,  
Arma virumque serum se vel sensisse rogatus,  
Vel vidisse quidem Miles utrinque negat.  
Tantum equitis mirer campos latuisse per omnes,  
Insignem vultu Parma sit alba licet,  
Scilicet aspectu victor Basiliscus obibat  
Agm●…na sub monstro quae periere novo.  
Pugnando haud aliter referet calcaria Daphnis,  
Cui pugnae testis nemo superstes erat.    

Ad eundem.  

De titulo ablato non recte Daphni querêris  
Facti in te causum Daphni Senatus habet.  
Jwe d●…cus perdis, si vitam ure tueris,  
Testis abest culpae, testis honoris abest.    

In Daphnen Causedicum.  

IT being proved that fighting Will ne'er fought,  
The Judges straight for other treasons fought.  
On that, point-blank two witnesses did swear,  
Such, and such words from his mouth they did hear.  
In answer to which by a speech Will shows,  
Alas, that his words are drawn through his nose,  
Through his nose it was the witnesses cried,  
But Will has none, so again they lied.  
Thus with a lost nose the fame he bears,  
To have won both his enemies ears,  
And now by his Poetry sure Will knows  
How to turn those ears again into nose.    

The Poet is angry being censured by One he knows not.  

DAphne, in scorn, not knows me. In all shows  
More know Jack Puddin, than Jack Puddin knows.    

Titulus compitis Londini cum licentia imponendus.  
A Letter sent out of the country.  
Monstrū hic horrendum nomine Dapb●… nuperrime captum in Insulas Barbadas contendentem visui Anglorum 〈◊〉 natum, uti ex scriptis placet inter Helvetios, valde enim de rebus istorum gestis, (quorum ne p●…li pendimus) animo aestuat; Londini propugnaculo à Parliamento Anglae incarceratus, non quidem inter 〈◊〉, sed ferociorum animalium domic●… in lucrum Domini Backster manct; Philosophorum nonnulli de forma quaerentes, nihil nisi illum non ess●… Elephantem ausi sunt affirmari Ille 〈◊〉 Proboscis deest, sed per nasum trahit, & tamen proh Deorum miracula) nasum non habet. sed quasi per minima formina nasutum, Ballenae instar, ●…vomit, vomit, quid ni illum Cetum esse ex elogio Germant cujusdam Leviatham satis constat.   

Upon the Author.  

DEnham come help me to laugh at old Daph,  
Whose fancies are higher than Chaff,  
He abuses  
All our Muses,  
And would it not make a man laugh till he burst,  
That he would be thought of all Poets the first,  
That is of all rhymers the worst?  
Daphne wert thou not content  
For to vent  
Thy fancies without our consent,  
But hadst the face  
In thy Preface  
To laugh at all those that had written before,  
When we thy best friends to the number of four  
Advised thee to scribble no more.    

Canto 2.  

Raised by a Prince of Lombard blood, 
D. of 〈◊〉   
An antic fabric long hath stood  
Of Podian flint, and Parian freestone  
Mingled as you shall see stone,  
A part whereof height cripple's Region,  
Contains of half men a whole Legion,  
Who still have been from ancient lore  
For three swift Centuries and more  
Friends to the Debtors and the Drinkers,  
And foes unto the Smiths and Clinkers.  
When in the Churchyard or the Ally,  
Occasion serves them, forth they sally,  
Both horse and foot; but now I wrong'um,  
There's neither horse nor foot among'um  
But those that are for horse accounted,  
Are on tall wooden Engines mounted,  
On which in Lombard authors notion,  
They abuse the Property of Motion.   

But for the foot'tis more improper,  
For they move not on foot, but crupper,  
And having neither leg nor stump,  
Advance themselves on hand and rump.  
A stand they make. A stand d'ye call't?  
The word, of Art is, make a halt.   

Then steps forth a Grave Eastern Cripple,  
One that could fight, and talk, and tipple,  
Brave friends, quoth he, Power is a liquour,  
Makes hands more bold, and wit more quicker,  
It is a tree whose boughs and branches  
Serve us instead of legs and haunches,  
It is a Hill to whose command,  
Men walk by Sea and sail by Land.  
But what's our power unless we know it?  
And knowledge what? unless we show it.   

Behold the Knight who late did marry  
The daughter of our pothecary,  
Hurried to durance like a stinkard,  
By Oswald Smith, and Borgia Clinkard,  
And him like to a civil sheep,  
In gaol (Nice statesmen's Pound) they'll keep.   

This said, you might have seen (for such is  
The force of eloquence) their crutches  
Ind●…'d with diligence in th'eys and noses  
Of such as had them, flames and rose●…  
Their Nerves of Wyer new heat makes limber,  
And rage ev n animates their timber.   

Then as a pack of Regian Hounds  
Pursuing o'er the 〈◊〉 grounds  
A Tuscan Stag, if in the wind  
A flock of Brescian sheep they find,  
Portuguese Swine, or Pagan Goats,  
In blou●… they bathe their Cannon throats,  
And in the trembling entrails hasten  
Their well experien●…'d teeth to fasten,  
With such Croaetion rage the stout  
Grave Cripples did the Bailiffs rout.  
Thus rescuing Gondibert they save him,  
Then to a Berkshire Coachman gave him.   

The Bailiffs being fled, or dead all,  
The Knight pulls out an antique meadal,  
On the reverse whereof was graved, 
Cross and Harp.   
Th' a●…liance betwixt Christ and David.  
Quoth he of rescued Knighthood carry  
This just reward, broach of Canary,  
Or Belgian Brande wine the Vessel  
Wherewith the Argonauts of Tesel,  
When Mars and Neptune them engages,  
Inflame their phlegmatic courages.   

He safe returned here joy and mirth a  
bounded twixt Astragon and Birtha.  
Thus leave we them in humour jolly:  
Free from old Roman Melancholy.    

Thus far in the Authors own words, Now a little in his own way.  

1. Sunk near his evening Region was the Sun,  
(But though the Sun can near be said to sink,  
Yet when his beams from our dull eyes are run,  
He of the ocean's moisture seems to drink.)   

(And though the Ocean be as far remote  
From him as we, yet such is the false light,  
Or mortal eye, that though for truth we kn●…w't,  
We yet believe our own deceiving sight.)   

(Nor without cause) for what our eyes behold  
Unto our sense most evident hath been:  
But still we doubt of things by others told,  
(For Faith's the evident of things not seen.)   

2. When Gondibert and Birtha went to bed,  
(For it the custom was of Lombard Brides,  
That on the day when they were married,  
They never slept till Sol his visage hides.)   

(For though bright Sol doth never close his eyes,  
When he resigns our hemisphere to night,  
Bold ethnics, say, that he with Thetis lies.  
And make him but allay adulterous light.)   

3. The Posts were of abstersive Ebony,  
(Though no abstersiveness in Posts we find,  
In powder ta'en (the learned not deny)  
It cleanses choler, and in pills, breaks wind.)   

(So when a Sword is forged of solid Steel,  
It serves for nothing but to cut and wound,  
But when to powder turned, shy virgins feel  
It cures green-sickness, & the spleen makes sound.)   

4. The Curtains in well-shadowed colours wrought,  
(For though old Astragon his child had bred  
To his own trade, yet something she was taught  
By her Nice Mother (who was gravely dead)   

(His limbeck though the sooty chemist broke  
As she passed by (when out th'Elixar flew)  
And (though) as a grave modern Author spoke  
The power of Potion, Purge and Pill, she knew.)   

(Yet something had she gained of female lore,  
Though much she was in medicinal science skilled,  
She and th'experienced maid had samplers store,  
And could the needle or the distaff wield.)   

5. The sheets so nicely fine, none could have thought  
Them spun from course Batavian Freisters' toils,  
But by the fingers of Arachne wrought,  
From the most subtle of the silkworms spoils.   

There Birtha lay, but when the Knt. drew nigh,  
She seemed to fly from what she longed t'enjoy,  
Orna herself was not than she more shy,  
Gartha more nice, nor Rodalind more coy.   

But when great nature's office was unsealed 
A woman's womb   
Then through love's limbeck his elixir flew  
Motion & heat, things stiff as if congealed,  
Dissolved to Amber suds, and Rainbow dew.    

TO DAPHNE.  
On his Incomparable Incomprehensible Poem GONDIBERT.  

Cheer up small Wits; now you shall crowned  
Daphne himself is turned into a tree.  
(Nor think it strange, for our great Author can be;  
Clap stones to Hirmigil, and make her Man:)  
Go gather sprigs, nor can you strip him bare;  
For all the ancient Wreaths sall to his share.  
Poor Homer's eyes by his unshaded light  
Again put out, who bids the world Good-night,  
And is as much eclipsed by one more blind,  
As is his by our new Hector's out-shined:  
Virgil, thou hast no Wit, and Naso is  
More short of Will, than is Will's Nose of his;  
Can silence T●…o, and the Fairy- Queen,  
Thou all by Will unread, and most unseen.  
Nor shall we ere hear more of great Tom-I humh,  
For Gondibert and Oswald strike all dumb.  
Thus then secured, thy Babe shall not miscarry,  
Since all do bow to fame's Fine Secretary.  
So have I heard the great Leviathan,  
Let me speak true, and not belie a man,  
Reign in the Deep and with tyrannic Power  
Both Costick Codd, and squalid Sprats devour.    

An Essay in Explanation of Mr. Hobbs, where he tells the Author, The virtues you distribute there among so many Noble persons, represent the Image but of one man's virtue to my Fancy, which is your own,  

CANTO 1.  

1.  
OF all Ill Poets by their Lumber known,  
Who ne'er Fame's favour wore, yet sought them long,  
Sir Daphne gives precedency to none,  
And breeds most business for abstersive Song.   

2.  
From untaught Childhood, to mistaking Man,  
An ill-performing Agent to the Stage;  
With Albovin in Lumbar he began,  
With Gondibert in Lumber ends his rage.   

3.  
Rhyme was his studied Art; rhyme which was bad;  
Rhyme meant for charms to keep th'devil in awe;  
Rhyme which with Fustian lined, & Nonsense clad,  
More needful is, than Finger, Shirt or Straw.   

4.  
To conquer Reason, Nature's common gift,  
Feigned Art, sophisticated rhyme devised,  
While those who cannot their weak judgements list  
To discern sense, and with hard words surprised.   

5.  
Yet Laws of Verse rescue but doubtfully  
From one ill Poet all good poet's fame;  
Till against rhyme, the wise rhymes help apply,  
Which soberly tells Will he is to blame.     

On GONDIBERT.  

CLose-stools thus made by Astragon we have,  
That will both singer, drugs, & paper save;  
On stool of Ebony, O Reader sit,  
Or else poor Gondibert will be beshit:  
For things abstersive will avail,  
As well to purge, as wipe the Tail.    

The Poets Hot Coc●…les.  

THus Poets passing time away,  
Like Children at Hot cockles play;  
All strike by turn, and Will is struck,  
(And he lies down that writes a Book.)  
Have at thee Will, for now I come,  
Spread thy hand fair upon thy Bomb,  
For thy much insolence, bold Bard,  
And little sense I strike thus hard.  
Whose hand was that? 'twas Jaspar maine;  
Nay there you're out, lie down again.  
With Gondibert, Preface and all  
See where the Doctor comes to maul  
The author's hand, 't will make him reel;  
No, Will lies still and does not feel;  
That Book's so light, 'tis all one whether  
You strike with that, or with a Feather:  
But room for one new come to Town,  
That strikes so hard he'll knock him down:  
The hand he knows since it the place  
Has touched more tender than his face.  
Important Sheriff, now thou liest down  
We'll kiss thy Hands, and Clap our own.    

Preface, page 25. That his writings are adapted to an easy musical Singer, which the Reader may judge by these following Verses.  

OSwald, Paradin, Rolalind, Hugo, Hubert, Aribert,  
Hurgonil, Astolpho, Borgia, Goliha, 〈◊〉.  
Croatian, Lombards, Hums, Vasco, Darg●…, Orna,  
Astragon, Hermogild, ulsinor, O●…go, Thula,    

Epithets that will serve for any Substantives either in this part or the next.  

NIce, Wise, Important, Eager, Grave, Busy. Recorded  
〈◊〉. Abs●…ive, ●…le Roman, experienced.    

Upon the author's writing 〈◊〉 name (as in the Title of his Bock) D'avenant.  

AS several Cities made their claim  
Of ●…omers birth to have the same;  
So after ages will not want  
Towns claiming to be Avena●…t.  
Great doubt there is, where now it lies,  
Whether in Lombard or the Skies.   

Some say by Avenant no place is meant,  
And that this Lombard is without descent;  
And as by Bilke men mean there's nothing there,  
So come from Avenant, means from No. where.  
Thus Will in 〈◊〉 D' Avenant to grace  
Has made a No ch. in's 〈◊〉 like that in's face,  
〈◊〉 it we●… the Autho●… of Harrigo,  
Had styled himself D'aphne D' Avenantigo.    
FINIS.