The Doting DOCTOR, OR The Icarion PREACHER. Calculated for the better instruction of King BLAKE of Coven-Garden: Representing the Meridian of his Dunghill Embassy, where the Pole is elevated many Degrees beyond the Manners of the King the Author.  
By N. E. Gent. 1655.  1. Tim. 3.6. 
Not a Novice, lest being lifted up etc.  
Printed in the Year, 1655.   

The Doting Doctor, OR, The Icarion Preacher.  
BEloved, these are Days of Liberty, in which we may be free to speak or write our minds (we hope) in Detection of any presumption whatsoever, without any prejudice to Church, or State etc. Our business therefore is to treat a little of a large Pamphlet set forth by one Blake a Draper, being thus entitled, viz: An Embassy from the Kings of the East to his Highness the Lord Protector, wherein the man at first vaunteth highly, aiming at no low things, but in the end, for want of matter spiritual enough (for to the spirit he pretends much) he dawbs with untempered mortar not suiting the purpose of what he pretends too, so that of all his tedious trifling discourse we may say with Horace, 
— amphora coepit  
Institui currente rota cur urceus exit.  
It did begin at first to be a pot of Largest size,  
But in the end pot would not come, but pitcher did arise.   
We pass by our Preface and come to the subject matter of our discourse, viz. the Book as above Entitled, which seems to me to consist of nothing but a mess of spiritual Nonsense, & fallacious stuff, altogether unbecoming such an Embassage, proceeding from so great a King of the East, but may it please your Majesty (if you are a King) to discover to us that Samuel who anointed your Grace: if you cannot, we shall take you to be more Ambitious then truly virtuous or Religious.  
Secondly, if you are a King of the East, I demand then what star hath led you so far out of the way, or why you relate nothing of your starry Conductor etc. Thirdly, if so be you are a true King of the East, wherefore looked you not on those Royal Precedents who followed the star at the birth of our Blessed Saviour, viz Gasper, Balthasar, Melchior and in imitation brought some presents which the East Country had aforded to declare you to have been a real King of the East, for the story hath in thus of them. v●z.  Gasper with his Myrrh began these presents to unfold 
Thu● Melchior brought in Frankincense, & Balthozor brought Gold. But not one word of any such thing do I find you pretend to offer at all: well then seeing it in consistent with Reason, that you should be a King of the East part of the world, we will see how it may relate to the East of England, the situation of your Highness' house is Goven▪ Graden, London, which is indeed something North East, or (to speak like a Mariner) East and by North from Charing Cross, which imports you to be not K●ng of the East here neither: this savours now something of Pride, but before I sum up the total, it may be he hath the East side of Worcester house to Preach in (some may say) and so may entitle himself King of the East from thence, if he should have the East side of the house to preach in, as he hath not, yet could not he be called King of the East for that at all; but oh that Royal Gaspar were alive, what would he say to this puny▪ King for his presumption? surely thus might he disdain such an unworthy comparison: Simia quam similis turpissimae bestia nobis. I must needs wonder when I see, a pouch-mouthed Ape so like to me.  
Thus have we noted the manner of the man, we come now to his Learning, which is much of the same stamp, with his manners, he gins with an Epistle to my Lord Protector, and another to the Israel of God; in the first his Grace is something doubtful of the constancy of Atlas, deems him to be drawing away his shoulders, letting the Heavens and Eternity so low, that he fears an intended conjunction before he be well prepared etc. In the second, he professes not to care who rules, so Christ and his Saints Reign, viz. Those who are best at praying and Preaching, Renowned King William (but no Conqueror) here is something of modesty— these words, if you mean only spiritually; but I would propose one thing to your consideration; have you not, think you, expulsed yourself here from Rule, in your desire that only those who are best at praying and preaching might Reign? I hope, my Liege, you are convinced of your own deficiency in both, as not being so excellent in either, as to be accounted or approved of, as one who is best at praying and preaching unless you are of the same opinion as you were some years since at , to conclude those best at both which cannot say, Boo to a Goose, as myself heard your haughtiness most pitifully affirm.  
But now his Majesty vaunts of the Saints Managements, tells his Reader it is enough for Peter, Paul, James, Jack, or John, and the poor saints so to do, etc. before I ask his wisdom what to do, I demand of him in what Diary, Calendar, or Chronicle of Saints he ever found Saint Jack, I know no reason his Excellency hath to gainsay the Anabaptist since himself is tut'nd Anabaptizer of saints, now would I know what this Saint Jack with the rest of his fellows should do, or what is enough for them to do, but my good King William tells me nothing of that but some of his fellow Kings (were they not all Buzzards or blockheads) might tell him he did more then enough, when he writ such a Mountain of Nonsense and illiterate stuff, unbecoming so great a King of the East.  
Instead of his impudencyes Picture he presents us with the Portrait of a bird, which he calls an Eagle, with a pen in the mouth of it ready made, though it be better known (than his kingly wit) that in Eagle is not commonly trained up to writing, and indeed Eagles are birds which are very rare and seldom found in England, how his Malmsines got this into his Cage (we know not) but much wonder, but Considering the paucity of such Birds here, I must believe that as his Embassy consists of nothing but figments and owly-glasses and shadows, so hath he cut and carbed this shadow of the Eagles writing after the conceit of his Beefe-Braind understanding etc.  
Pag. 1. Come we now to the Embassy itself, which we will but touch lightly, lest we should glorify this pretended King too much, in the very entry he howls abominably for his Liberty and his Magna Charta purchased by the blood of Christ etc. as if there were no such thing granted as the seedome of Spirit. Pag. 7. He goes on charging my L. P. with keeping the Libertyes of his good King from him, with abundance more of the same stamp: and in the end of his sabberings, tells us he is so straitened he cannot own Christ in the Congregations, nor make use of his privileges in exercising his gifts there, and 'tis his sin and shame to keep silent any longer: how fair would this Mouse cast a shadow like an Elephant, how willingly would Esop's Crow become an Eagle? a fin and shame, to be silent any longer do you say, sir, not I hope unless your preaching transcend your writing; for know, that a fool is known by the multitude of words, but may it please your Highness, who hath thus abridged you of your freedom? why did not your Grace continue your exercises longer at Somerset house, when no one offered to quench the ruffling motions of your Esau like Spiri●? I doubt your Majesty had canted Nonsense so long there that you had prated yourself ashamed, and so deserted your Ministry and Auditory both together? and yet now you are ashamed to keep silence any longer? O wrestles King of the East, neither well, full, nor fasting, will neither preaching nor silence satisfy you? sure you have been overtaken with some Epidemic fit, which hath mightily exhausted the treasury of your Majesty's wisdom, and now your Hogsheads empty, how can we expect otherwise but that it should sound? but he goes on still girding at my Lord P. O. my Lord Cromwell, (saith he) under God our Protector, if you say that the time is not yet come and defer us one moment longer, God will lay you by— out of the hearts of his dearest ones, and raise deliverance some other way: how, what, not only King but also Prophet, then blessed be the Drapers, is not this a pretty Sprinsius, belike he was at God's Counsel table and had a vote in the decree, it his prophecy be true, or it may be as it is most likely, he hath drawn up some, muddy, nasty, exhalation by the strength of his pragmatic understanding, and so generated some Cometicall chimerae in his narrow Braynpan, but the matter being by nature hot (and he in a Religious Lunacy) chanced to make an escape through his hog-noddle, and hath by some kind of transmutation in its fall (or flight rather) become a Comet, of no less fury than the threatening of our chiefest Governors: is not this a fine swelling piece of vanity and hath certainly been in the University of Bedlam, as appears by the candour of his cracked wits?  
Pag. 10. Not like a Madman, or King of the East, but like a beaten Spaniel, or very crafty companion, he fawns upon him whom he hath cursed by bell, book, and candle, even my L. P. though we have railed at you, prayed to God to blast your late proceed, yet now we will hug you etc. here is a fine saintling that can imitate the Devil in the Proverb, as to be so purely good if pleased, or the Satire in the Fable can blow hot and cold with a breath, but here thou lukewarm Laodicean, though thou art a King of the East, yet thy hugs, fawn, prayers, etc. of his Highness my L. P. will in no wise extenuate his reverend and Christian esteem of the learned to hearken to luch Ignora's as you, lest with your hugs, prayers and closest embraces, you also have ready at hand a sop, with a Hail Master at the end etc.  
Pag. 14. This King Simplicius cautionizeth the honest Protestant, not to wink at what he sees in gifted Christians, but to take heed he refuse not him that speaks from Heaven, for God gives them gifts without latin phrases though ten thousand refuse it, how; now: what, a King? and King of the East too▪ and speak against Latin, O'h ignorant Animal! O'h unworthy King of the East!  
I look for Scholar ship, but it appears  
Hoods make no Monks, nor beards Philosophers.  
Pag. 16. This Icarus will parley with the Ministers too, and says truly that of all good men godly Ministers are the best; but a little after as if he had spoken a left handed truth, tells us they are so in one sense, and says also that the setting up of such dull men, is the pulling down of the gifted, for their preaching is empty, their praying Popish, etc. (and in Pag. 66. wishes his fellow Kings never to stay for Psalme-men or Readers for they may go all to play, or to plough, or sing Te Deum) this says King wiseacres Grice pleases for ●h● present but damns in the ●nd; but we'll ' leave these snaffs and old Priests: thus far King Broomstaffe, Would any body think that his Majesty should be so fortish as to think that his Majesty should be so sottish as to think that, to sing Te Deum, were not as good as his nonsensical prating; for what doth the Animal intent by it? do we not all know that singing to God is the most acceptablest sacrifice in the world? or did this King Dunderhead think the singing Te Deum had signified somewhat else. beside singing to God? but i'll leave this Buttologist who can damn both City and Country for going to Marybone, Paddington, etc. and he calls it to have a lick at Antichrists tail, I only ask the Green head this Quere, whether men had not better go to Marrowbone to here a learned Scholar preach? (for such is Doctor Swadlin) then to go to Worcester House to see the Kings of the East throw stones against the wind in the West:  
O simple Blake, O●h silly Eastern King,  
Canst thou damn folks, and not Te Deum sing?  
This Captain Cretensis is still on his march, coming with great threats and brags against the Ministry in Pag. 23 thus, stand away strait, or we will preach you down, pray you down, writ you down, Pull you down headlong &c.— Make room for young Phaeton, he comes loftily mounted with bugs words in his mouth, not like a King of the East, but like a seven headed Hydra or a Hercules at least, thus hath his Majesty shown impudence enough to make himself a fool▪ in barking like an angry Mastiff at the reverend Ministry, at whose feet this vain fellow may learn better manners, at least to know his duty toward his neighbour; but it should seem with his reason he hath abjured all good manners as well as common civility etc. But  
The folly which Grand Pluto dreads, King Blake of Covent Garden spread Pag 60 To show his power or will rather, he threatens the poor Gospel Minister or gifted Christian, if he once takes him in a lie, or cheating, etc. he will hang him at his shop: your Majesty is somewhat too rigid here, for I question not but were your Grace observed in cutting off but one yard of Cloth, we might find you guilty of twenty lies, if nor a little cheating too: would your goodness be contented if (Hamman l●ke) you handsel what you have pu●chased for poor Mordecay: but Sir me thinks you deviate wonderfully here from him who is the true precedent of Kings, even the Lord Jesus, more merciful unto Peter when he he had not lied only, but also foresworn themselves, but I pass this by as a zealous bolt too soon shot etc.  
Pag. 53. But to wind up all, his Grace shows us how fruitful he would be in his work, against sin, Satan, Turk, Pope, Devil's Mates— Muncks, Punks, Jews,— Rogues, Rovers,— Pigmongers, Whoremongers, Applemongers, Egg, Corn, Pease▪ and Baconmongers,— Greedy dogs etc.  
Again, to bind up all his legal stuff in a bundle (as in Pag. 43 themselves do 〈◊〉 h the Scripture) away runs the rabble, (and they must needs run that the Devil drives) the Kings of the East, drive these Locusts to the West, the Devils to their Dens, Imphs to their dams, Errors to their homes; all to the Devil, most to the Pope: (O acute Logician) many to the M●ss Priest, the other Priest too and his tail, lustful, lazy, idle,— Shakers', Quakers, and ungodly Ranters,— and your jurney-jobbers, red faced Clerks, Sawers, Psalme-men, Wardens, Pares,— drunken Readers etc.  
Good King be not so lavish, half this stuff  
Will make a Coat, to prove you fool enough  
Thus you see how his Majesty fooms at mouth, and beats himself as if he were in a Religious Lunacy, (Alias the falling Sickness) or else most deeply troubled with Defluxionem per caput vermiculans in Naremcrassam abtusamque, which makes him thus to Glander and sling about his filth. But I have honoured this [Sublicium] caput too much already, I forbear, yet since he hath Adventured upon the stage, my muse accounts him somewhat deserving, Ergo: in the name of Democritus, I dub him an honourable fellow.  
Rise up Will Blake, mount up (alas)!  
An Eastern King, or English Ass.  
FINIS.   

To the Reader.  
I Had not noted this Palpit-monsters ignorance, had be not carped at the regular course of nature, he might have been a writer, and Preacher, ex argillo in luto conficti, still, had he been so wise as not to have betrayed his ignorance, in joining world gazing, and stargazing together, and carping at the glory of Science, a thing he so little understands, but Scientia non habet inimicum nisi ignorantem, it his speculation be so divine and piercing, that he thinks he can gaze beyond the stars, or above them, he must know he cannot do that unless he first gaze up to them, or else (to make his position good) he must pull out those oculus out of his own head, and gaze only by Oculi fidei, or the world and stars (to use his Majesty's Dialect) those carnal objects, will betray his ignorant sight, so long, as those carnal eyes, have a prospect out of that capitis of his, etc. But.  
Foxlike he slights those things he cannot Reach,  
I'll pray for Prophets, when such Asses Preach.