A JOURNEY TO ENGLAND, etc.   

A JOURNEY TO ENGLAND. With some ACCOUNT OF THE Manners and Customs of that NATION. Written at the Command of a Nobleman in France. Made English.  
LONDON: Printed, and Sold by A. Baldwin, near the Oxford-Arms-Inn in Warwick-Lane. 1700.   

TO THE READER.  
WHen I first chanced upon this severe piece, and read it in the Language it was sent me, I was so much concerned for the honour of our Country, that it was my resolution to suppress the Publication of our shame, as conceiving it an Act of great Inhumanity; But upon second, and more impartial Thoughts, I have been tempted to make it speak English, and give it Liberty, not to reproach, but to instruct our Nation, remembering what the Wiseman hath said, Open rebuke is better than secret Love. Prov. 27. 5. The truth is, I cannot say but the particulars, are most of them, very home; and which we may no way evade, without acknowledging, at least, that the Gentleman (whoever he were) made notable use of his time, but best of all, by setting upon an effectual redress of what is amiss. And though I doubt not, but one might easily retort in as many instances, upon defects as great (if not greater) of that Nation; (for he that finds fault, had need be perfect) yet were it then fittest to do it, and to revenge this Charitable Office, when we shall have first reform ourselves.  
Farewell.   

CONTENTS.  

ALE and Alehouses Pag. 14  
Beauty of the Ladies 3  
Bowling-Greens 33  
Balls 27  
Bunglers at Raillery 28  
Confidence of the Innkeepers 4  
Cough (the Generality of it 14  
Description of the Country 3  
— Of London 5  
— Of the Presbyterians 7  
— Of the Independents, Anabaptists, Quakers, etc. 12  
Dancing Masters, Their Insolence 28  
Hid Park 29  
Horses, Dogs, etc. 33  
Ill Manners of People at London. 5  
Lords surly 24  
Ladies go to Taverns 16  
— Want Confidence 21  
— Have familiar ways with them 23  
— Have no Standard for Dressing 22  
Old Women wear Coloured Clothes p. 22  
Pleading at Westminster 31  
Quarrelling 18  
Spring-Garden 29  
Taverns 15  
With-Drawing-Rooms (done't know how to use them 34  
Younger Brothers Rob on the Highways. 20   
End of the Contents.   

A JOURNEY TO ENGLAND, etc.  
MY LORD,  
YOU Command me to give you a Minute account of what I observed, and how I passed that little time which I lately spent in England; a Country, whose Character you so greatly desire to be informed of, in a Conjuncture (as you rightly deduce) of strange Vicissitude, and indeed they are a People of all the World most fond of alterations; And to whom, My Lord, should I more readily submit? First, encouraged to make this excursion by your Lordship, who had formerly beheld, and so much admired the Splendour and Magnificence of this Court, and Kingdom in its greatest Acme and Lustre. But, My Lord, I cannot imagine, that you should esteem me either of Years, or Capacity to inform You, whose Judgement is so Mature, and Correspondence so universal, as that there is nothing which can escape your Cognizance, not only in that Island, but in all the World besides. But since you oblige me not to dip into the Transactions of State, the effects of Providence, Time, and other Notices of a Superior Orb; and in which you cannot be instructed by so weak an instrument as your Servant; and demand only the little Remarks of my hasty, and desultory Peregrination; though I cannot pretend to improve your Lordship's Knowledge, yet I may hope to give it diversion, and an Essay of my Obedience.  
It must be avowed that England is a Sweet, and Fertile Country.  
Terra potens armis, atque ubere gleba.  
That the Fields, 
Description of the Country.  the Hills, and the Valleys are perpetually clad with a glorious, and agreeable Verdure; that her Provisions are plentiful; her Staples important; and her interest very considerable; not omitting the most Beautiful Ladies, I had almost said, of the World, 
Beauty of the Ladies  but for a just respect due to the Illustrious Circles of our Court, where the Beauties of Conversation, so far transcend the tinctures of Lilies and Roses. But these, My Lord, are not the Memoirs which you demand; I will therefore hasten to my Post.  
After a short Passage from Calais, 
Rudeness of the English.  we came on shore at Dover, where the People of the Town entertained us with such suspicious and forbidding Countenances, whispering, and stiff Postures, that I should never have believed so great a difference in the Addresses of two Nations, could have been produced by so short a trajection, and in a Port continually accustomed to the Faces of Strangers, had not the contrary humours of our contiguous Neighbours, the Spaniards, made it possible, in so many pleasant instances. But I was amazed, when we had taken Post, and scarce out of the Village, at the Acclamations of the Boys, running after, and affrighting our Horses, hooting, and crying out, French Dogs, French Dogs, a Monsieur, Monsieur! By a particular expression of Welcome, which other People would interpret Derision; But in this Triumph (though somewhat late e'er we set out of Dover) we attained as far as Rochester the first night, where, how new a thing it appeared to me, to see my confident Host set him down cheek by joul by me, 
Confidence of the Innkeepers.  belching, and puffing Tobacco in my Face, you may easily imagine, till I afterwards found it to be the usual stile of this Country; and that the Gentlemen, who lodge at their Inns, entertain themselves in their Company, and are much pleased with their impertinences: Arrived at the Metropolis of civility, London, we put ourselves in Coach, with some Persons of Quality, who came to conduct us to our Lodging; but neither was this passage without honours done to us, the Kennel dirt, and roots being favours which were frequently cast at us by the Children, and Apprentices without reproof; Civilities, that in Paris, a Gentleman as seldom meets withal, as with the contests of Carmen, who in this Town domineer in the Streets, overthrow the Hell-Carts (for so they name the Coaches) Cursing, and reviling at the Nobles: You would imagine yourself amongst a Legion of Devils, and in the suburb of Hell. 
The Ill manners of the Commonalty at London.  I have greatly wondered at the remissness of the Magistrate, and the temper of the Gentlemen, and that the Citizens, who subsist only upon them, should permit so great a disorder, rather joining in the affronts, than at all chastizing the Inhumanity. But, these are the natural effects of Parity, popular Libertinism, and Insulary Manners.  
I find, as you told me, My Lord, London to be a Town so nobly Situated, and upon such a River, 
Description of London.  as Europe certainly shows not one more useful and agreeable; Their Fountains, which are the Pride and Grace of our Streets, and plentifully supplied in this City, are here immured, to secure the Waters from, I know not what, impurities: But certainly, it does greatly detract from the beauty of the Carfours, and intercepts the view.  
Amongst the piece of Modern Architecture, I have never observed above two, which were Remarkable in this vast, City. The Church of St. Paul's, and the Banqueting-House at White-Hall, of which I remember to have heard your Lordship speak: But you would be amazed at the genius of these People, that not much above forty Years ago should suffer this goodly and venerable Fabric, to be built about and converted into rascally Warehouses, and so sordidly obscured and defaced, that an argument of great Avarice, Malice, Meanness, and deformity of Mind, cannot possibly be expressed: Nothing here of Ornament, nothing of Magnificence, (only a heavy piece of Architecture;) not public and honourable Works, such as render our Paris, and other Cities of France, renowned, and visited by all the World; emulating even Italy herself, for her Palaces, uniform and conspicuous Structures: I assure your Lordship, that England is the sole spot in all the World, where among Christians their Churches have been made Jakes, and Stables, Markets and tippling-houses; and where there were more need of Scorpions, than Thongs, to drive out the Publicans and Money-Changers: In sum, where these excellent uses, are pretended to be the Marks of Piety and Reformation. I had sometimes the curiosity to visit the several Worships of these Equivocal Christians, and Enthusiasts: But I extremely wondered to find those whom they call Presbyterians, 
Description of the presbyterians.  and that would imitate us of the Religion in France and Geneva, to have their Discipline so confused and different. In this remark, My Lord, to be somewhat more particular, you will not be displeased; because it was a thing you so much recommended to my especial Notice. Form, they observe none; They pray and read without method, and indeed, without Reverence or Devotion; I have beheld a whole Congregation sit on their— with their Hats on, at the reading of the Psalms, and yet bareheaded when they sing them, in divers places they read not the Scriptures at all; but up into the Pulpit, where they make an insipid, tedious and immethodical Prayer, in Phrases, and a tone so affected and mysterious, that they give it the name of Canting, a term by which they do usually express the Gibberish of Beggars and Vagabonds; after which, there follows the Sermon, consisting (like their Prayers) of Speculative and Abstracted Notions, and things, which, nor the People, nor themselves, well understand: But these they extend to an extraordinary length, and Pharisaical repetitions; till almost they sleep; I am sure, till their Auditors do.  
The Minister uses no Habit of distinction, or gravity, but steps up in querpo; and when he lays by his Cloak (as I have observed some of them) he has the action rather of a Thrasher, than a Divine; this they call taking pains, and indeed it is so, to those that hear them: But thus they have now encouraged every pert Mechanic to invade, affront and outpreach them; and having cancelled all manner of decency, prostituted both their Persons and Function to usurpation, penury and derision. You may well imagine by the manners of the People, and their prodigious Opinions, that there is no Catechisms, nor Sacraments duly Administered: The Religion of England is Preaching, and sitting still on Sundays. How they Baptise I know not, because the Congregation is dismissed, and they agree in no form; and for the other Sacraments, no Man gives, or receives alike: Such of their Churches as I have frequented, were damned up with Pues, every three or four of the Inhabitants, sitting in narrow Pounds or Pulpits, by themselves; for they are all turned Preachers now, In short, there is nothing more unlike to our reformed Churches in France and I think in all Europe beside; the apprehension of Popery, or fondness to their own imaginations, having carried them so far to the other extreme, that they have now lost all Moderation, and Decorum; And I have been herein, My Lord, the more industrious to inform myself of each particular; because it seems yet to be as public as the Religion of the State. Some of their own party, I have heard deplore this confusion, but certainly, they themselves gave the first occasion to these Monstrous Liberties, by a Rigid, and Uncharitable Discipline; primarily (it seems) introduced by the Scots, and so refined upon by these, as there are few or none that will submit to the Tyranny; but every one takes his own course, and has protection for it. Some well natured abused Men I have met withal among them; but, if I mistake not, for the greater Ingredient, Ambitious, Ignorant, Overweening, Sower, and Uncharitable, ne quid asperius, combining with the interest of the times, and, who to render themselves powerful, have in compliances with the Spirital Pride of the Mechanics and Corporations, connived at those many, and prodigious Schisms and Heresies which are now spawned under themin such numbers, as give terror to the State. I omit to tell your Lordship that few take Notice of the Lord's-Prayer; it is esteemed a kind of weakness to use it, but the Creed and the Decalogue are not once heard of in their Congregations; This is Milk for Babes, and these are all Giants. They do frequently Solemnize their late National deliverances, and some days of Christian Bloodshed, with all possible exactness. But they think it gross Idolatry to join with the whole Christian Church of all Professions under Heaven, in the Anniverssaries of our B. Saviour's Incarnation, Passion, Resurrection, and descent of the Holy Ghost, Spiritual, Eternal, and never to be forgotten Mercies. Would your Lordship believe that this madness should advance so far, as to disturb the French-Church there, which you know, does in all places observe those signal Deliverances and Blessings, both by Preaching, Prayer, Sacraments and Exhortations, apposite to to the Occasion; What think you will be the issue of this goodly Reformation? I could tell you more of the Mysterious Classis; their ridiculous, insidiary, and presumptuous Questions; their unheard of Animosities against their Brothers of the Church of England, suffering themselves to be rather torn in sunder by the Sectaries, Demotrius and the Craftsmen, whilst they contend about trifles and mere shadows.  
Concerning the Independents, 
Descripti- of the Independents, Auabaptists, Quakers, etc.  all I can learn is; They are a refined, and Apostate sort of Presbyters; or, rather such as renounces all Ordination, as who having Preached promiscuously to the People, and cunningly ensnared a Select number of Rich, and ignorant Proselytes, separate themselves into Conventicles, which they name Congregations. There is nothing does more resemble this Sect, than our Rom. Missionaries sent out in partibus Insidelium; for they take all other Christians to be Heathens. These are those great Pretenders to the Spirit, into whose Party, does the vilest Person living, no sooner ascribe himself, but he is, ipso facto, bubt a Saint, hallowed, and dear to God. These, are the confidents, who can design the minute, the place, and the means of their Conversion: A Schism full of Spiritual disdain, incharity, and high imposture: But every alteration of State, destroying the interest of the versatile Contrivers, they are as ready to Transmigrate into the next more thriving Fraternity, as the souls of Pythagoras into Beasts, and may then perhaps, assume some other Title, This is a sad, but serious truth, and not a little menaces the common Christianity, unless timely prevented. But, Sir, I will not longer tyre your patience with these Monsters (the subject of every contemptuous Pamphlet) nor with the madness of the Anabaptists, Quakers,) (which are increased to a prodigious number) Fifth Monarchy-Men, and a Cento of unheard of Heresies besides, which, at present, deform the once renowned Church of England; and approach so little the pretended Reformation,, which we in France have been made to believe they are arrived to.  
But I have dwelled too long on this remark, I return to the Town, where they are pestered with Hackney-Coaches, and insolent Carmen, Shops, and Taverns, Noise, and such a cloud of of Sea-Coals, that if there be a resemblance of Hell upon Earth, it is in this Vulcan's in a Foggy Day: 
Of the Cough.  This pestilent Smoke so fatally seizes on the Lungs of the Inhabitants, that the Cough, and the Consumption spare not Man. I have been in a spacious Church, where I could not hear the Minister for the People's Barking.  
There is within this City, and in all the Towns of England (which I have passed through) so prodigious a number of Houses where they sell a certain Drink called Ale, that I think a good half of the Inhabitants may be Denominated Ale-House-Keepers, 
Of their Ale.  these are a meaner sort of Cabarets: But what is most deplorable, where some Gentlemen sit (especially in the Country) and spend much of their time; drinking of a muddy kind of Beverage, and Tobacco, which has, universally besotted the Nation, and at which (I hear) they have consumed many noble Estates. 
Of their Taverns.  As for other Taverns, London is Composed of them, where they drink Spanish and Red-Wines, and other Sophisticated Liquors to that fury and intemperance, as has often amazed me to consider it: But thus some mean Fellow, the Drawer, arrives to an Estate, some of them having built fair Houses, and purchased those Gentlemen out of their Possessions, who have ruined themselves by that base and dishonourable Nice of Ebriety: And that nothing may be wanting to the height of Luxury and Impiety of this Abomination, they have translated the Organs out of the Churches, to set them up in Taverns, and even a worse sort of tippling-houses, chanting their Dithyrambicks, and bestial Bacchanalias, to the Tune of those Instruments, which were wont to assist them, in the Celebration of God's Praises, and regulate the Voices of the worst Singers in the World, which are the English in their Churches at present; I cannot but commend the Reformed in Holland, who still retain their Organs in the Churches, and make use of them at the Psalms, without any Opinion of Superstition; and I once remember to have heard the Famous Diodati wish they might be introduced even at Geneva. A great error undoubtedly in those who sit at the Helm, to permit this scandal; to suffer so many of these Taverns and occasions of Intemperance, 
Women at Taverns, and Drink Healths.  such Leeches, and Vipers; to gratify so sordid and base a sort of People with the spoils of honest, and well Natured Men. Your Lordship, will not believe me that the Ladies of greatest Quality, suffer themselves to be treated in one of these Taverns, where a Courtesan in other Cities would scarcely vouchsafe to be entertained: But you will be more astonished when I shall assure you, that they drink their Crowned Cups, and roundly, strain Healths through their Smocks, Dance after the Fiddle, Kiss freely, and term it an honourable Treat. But all this my Experience, particular address, and habitudes with the greatest of that Nation has assured me, that it is not the pass time, only of the inferior and Meretricious sort; 
Of the hard Drinking at private Houses.  since I find it a chief suppletory at all their Entertainments, to drink Excessively, and that in their own Houses, before the Ladies, and the Lacques: It is the Afternoons diversion; whether for want of better to employ the time, or affection to the drink, I know not: But I have found some Persons of Quality, who one could not safely visit after Dinner, without resolving to undergo this Drink Ordel, and endure the Question: It is esteemed a piece of Wit, to make a Man Drunk, for which some swilling insiped Client, or congiary, is a frequent and constant adjutant, Your Lordship may hence well imagine, how heavy, dull, and insignificant the Conversation is; loud, querillous, and impertinent. I shall relate a story that once happened in my presence, at a Gentleman's House in the Country, where there was much Company and Feasting. I chanced to come at Dinnertime, and after the Cloth was taken away (as the manner is) they fell to their laudable Exercise: But I unacquainted then with their Custom, was lead up into a With-Drawing-Room, where I had the Permission (with a Noble Person who introduced me) to sit and converse with the Ladies, who were thither retired; the Gentleman of the House leaving us in the mean time, to Entertain his Friends below: But you may imagine how strangely I was astonished; to see within an hour after, one of the Company that had Dined there, entering into the Room all bloody, 
Of the quarrelling among the English.  and disordered, to fetch a Sword which lay in one of the Windows, and three or four of his Companions, whom the Fumes of the Wine had inspirited, pursuing, and dragging him by the Hair, till in this confusion, one of their Spurs engaged into a Carpet, upon which stood a a very fair Looking-Glass, and two noble pieces of Porselain, drew all to the ground, broke the Glass, and the Vasas in pieces; and all this on such an instant, that the Gentleman and myself, had much ado to rescue the affrighted Ladies from suffering in the tumult; but at last we prevailed, and brought them to terms, the quarrel concerning an Health only, which one of them would have shifted. I don't remember, My Lord, ever to have known (or very rarely) a Health Drank in France, no not the King's; and if we say A vostre sante Monsieur, it neither expects Pledge, or Ceremony. 'Tis here so the Custom to Drink to every one at the Table, that by the time a Gentleman has done his Duty to the whole Company, he is ready to fall asleep, whereas with us, we salute the whole Table with a single Glass only. But, My Lord, was not this, imagine you; an admirable Scene and very Extraordinary? I confess, the Lady of the House being much out of Countenance at what had happened, proffered to excuse this disorder, and I was as ready to receive it, till several encounters confirmed me, that they were but too frequent, and that there was a sort of perfect: Debauchees, who stile themselves Hector's, that in their mad and unheard of Revils, pierce their Veins to quaff their own Blood, which some of them have Drank to that excess, that they died of the intemperance; These are a professed Atheistical Order of Bravoes composed for the most of Cadets, who spending beyond their Pensions, to supply their extravagances, practise now and then the Highway, 
Younger Brothers Rob on the Highway.  where they sometimes borrow, that which they often repay at the Gibbet; an Ignominious Trade, unheard of amongst our Gallant Nobles; however Fortune reduce them. But I know not whether I might not here Match these Valiant Hero's with an avowed Society of Ladies, and some of them not of the meanest for Birth (I even blush to recount it of that Fair Sex,) who boast of making all advantages at Play, and are become so Dextrous at it, that seldom they make a sitting, without design and Booty; For there is here, My Lord, no such thing as Courtship, after the decent mode of our Circles; for either being mingled in a Room, the Gentlemen separate from the Conversation of the Ladies, to Drink, as before I related; or else to Whisper with one another at some Carner, or Bay-Window, abandoning the Ladies to Gossip by themselves, which is a Custom so strange to a Gallant of our Nation, as nothing appears more barbarous and undecent; and this in effect: must needs be the reason, that these Beautiful Creatures want assurance, address, and the charming Discourse of our Damoisels, which are faculties so shining, and agreeable in their Sex with us in France: And in truth even the Gentlemen themselves, are greatly defective as to this particular, ill Courtiers, Unpliant, Morose, and of Vulgar address; generally, not so polished, free, and serene, as is universally found, even amongst the most inferior of our Nation. I am not ignorant that they impute it to a certain levity m us; 
The Lady's want Address, and Confidence.  but it is a mistake in them, and that because they so hardly reform it, without some ridiculous affectation, as is conspicuous in their several Modes and Dresses, 
Have no Standard for Dressing.  which they vary ten times for our once; every one affecting something particular; as having no Standard at Court, which should give Laws, and Countenance the Fashion. The Women are much affected with Gaudry, there being nothing more frequent than to see an Ancient Lady wear Colours, a thing which neither Young, nor Old of either Sex do with us, save in the Country, and the Camp; 
Old Women in Coloured Clothes.  but Widows at no time. And yet reprove they us for these Exorbitances; but I have often disputed the case: Either we do ill, or well; if ill, why then do they ape us? if well, why do they reproach us? The truth is, they have no Moderation, and are neither so lucky, nor frugal as our Ladies are in these Sumptuary expenses; and whereof the Magistrates takes so little Cognisance, that it is not an easy matter to distingnish the Lady from the Chambermaid; Servants being suffered in this brave Country, to go clad like their Mistresses, a thing neither decent, nor permitted in France, where they may wear neither Lace, nor Silk. I may not forget to acquaint your Lordship, that though the Ladies, and the Gentlemen are so shy of one another, yet when once they grow acquainted, it passes into expressions, and compellations extremely new to our usages, and the stile of our Country: Do but imagine how it would become our Ladies, to call Monsieur N— Jack N. what more frequent than this? Tom. P— was here to Day; I went Yesterday to the 
* A place near Paris like Hyde-park. English Women have Familiar ways with them.  Cours with Will. R— Henry M— treated me at such a Travern; These are the particular Idioms, and graceful Confidences now in use; introduced I conceive at first by some Comrades one with another; but it is mean and rude, and such as our Lacques, would almost disdain in Paris; where I have often observed two Chimney-sweepers, accost one another, in better Forms, and Civiller Addresses. But to be confident and civil, is not a thing so easily understood, and, seems a peculiar talon of our Nation.  
However the Ladies are not more obliging and Familiar, than the Lords are difficult and inaccessible; 
Some of the Lords surly.  for though by reason of my Birth, and Quality, my recommendations and addresses, I found some tolerable reception amongst them; yet I observed, that they kept at such a surly distance with the Gentlemen, even of Family, that methought I never beheld a ruder Conversation; especially, when comparing their Parts, and Educations, I found them generally so much inferior, as if a Lord were indeed other than a Gentleman; or a Gentleman's not fit Companion for a King: But this must needs be the result of an ill, and haughty institution, and for that most of these great Persons are in their Minority, and the Age wherein they should be furnished with the noblest impressions, taught only to converse with their Servants, some Sycophants, and under the Regiment of a Pedant, which imprints that scornfulness and folly, and fits them with no better forms when they should produce themselves, and give testimony to others, as well of their Superiority in Virtue, as in Birth, and Dignity. But this is, My Lord, a particular, which I have heard you often complain of, and which we do frequently take notice of, at their coming abroad into our Country; where for want of address, and fit Persons to introduce them, they seldom return more refined than they came, else they could not but have observed, that there is nothing which makes the distinction of Nobles in France, but the Title, and that his Majesty himself does them the honours, which here they usurp upon their equals; But, My Lord, they are sufficiently punished for it in England: Where, to me they appear so degenerate, for want of this humility and free Conversation; by which, and their other Vices, they grow now so much despised, that the Gentlemen need seek no Revenge: For though (as I told you) the Gentlemen are most of them very intemperate, yet the Proverb goes, 
Whence the Proverb, As Drunk as a Lord.  As Drunk as a Lord. But, My Lord, as there is no rule so general, but it does admit of exceptions, so should I give my own Experience, as well as your Lordships the contradiction, to make the Censure Universal; there being even amongst these, some few, and in particular my L. P. my L. M. my L. D. etc. whom I esteem to be very noble, and accomplished Persons, as who have learned (by the good Fortune of a better Education) how to value the Conversations of worthy Men, and who indeed, do sufficiently verify all those Attributes which are due to their Qualities, and therefore whom this Paragraph does no ways concern.  
Nor should I be less severe and unjust, totally to exclude even some of the Ladies from the Advantages of this Period, whose perfections and Virtues, claim an equal right to all that I have here spoken, out of a due resentment of their Merits and Excelllencies.  
It was frequently, 
Their Balls.  during the last Winter, that I was carried to their Balls, as where indeed, I expected to see what should appear the most of Gallant, and Splendid amongst the Ladies, nor really did my expectations deceive me; for there was a confluence of very great Beauties, to which the glistering of their Jewels (which upon this occasion they want not) could add nothing save their Weight; the various Habits being so particular, as if by some strange Enchantment, they had encountered, and come out of several Nations: But I was astonished to see, when they were ready to move, that a Dancing-Master, had the boldness to take forth the greatest Ladies, and they again the Dancing-Master, who performed the most part of the Ball, whilst the Gentlemen, that were present, were the least concerned, and stood looking on; so as it appeared to me more like the Farce of a Comedy, than a Ball of the Nobles, and in truth, their measures, when any of them were taken out, made me some what ashamed to lead a Lady who did me the honour, for fear (though my skill is very vulgar in that exercise) they should have taken me for a Dancing-Master, as who had happily employed my Youth so ill, as to have some advantage of the rest in that faculty. This favour is particular to the Dancing-Masters in this Country; and Reason good; for they have such ample Salaries, 
The Insolence of the Dancing Masters.  as maintains both their Prodigality, and an Insolence, that were insupportable in France, where these trifling Fellows do better know themselves, are worse paid, and less Presumptuous. Nay, so remiss are the Ladies, of their respect in this instance, that they not only entertain all this; but permit themselves likewise to be invited, and often honour these impertinent Fantastics, by receiving the Ball at their Petty Schools.  
When this Ceremony was ended, some of the Gallants fell to other Recreations, and as far as I understood, were Offering at that Innocent, yet Salt, 
The English Bunglers at A Raillery.  and Pleasant diversion, which in France is called Raillery; but so far were they from maintaining it within the decencies, and Laws, which both in that, and our Characters we observe that in a little time, they fell so upon personal abusing one another, that there was much ado to preserve the Peace, and as I heard, it was the next Day, the product of a Quarrel, and a Duel.  
I did frequently in the Spring, Accompany My Lord N. into a Field, 
Of Hide Park.  near the Town, which they call Hyde-park; the place not unplesant, and which they use, as our Course; but not with that Order, Equipage, and Splendour; there being an Assembly of such wretched Jades, and Hackney-Coaches, as quite takes away the resemblance.  
The next place to be remembered is the Spring-Garden, 
Of Spring-Garden.  so called, and in order to the Park, as our Thuilleries is to the Course, the enclosure not disagreeable, for the solemnness of the Grove, the warbling of the Birds; but the Company Walk in it at such a rate, as you would think all the Ladies were so many Atalanta's, contending with their Wooers; and my Lord, there was no appearance, that I should prove the Hippomenes, who could with very much ado, keep pace with them: But as fast as they run; they stay there so long, as if they wanted not time to finish the Race; for it is usual here to find some of the Young Company till midnight; and the Thickets of the Garden seem to be contrived to all Advantages of Gallantry, after they have been refreshed with the Collation, which is here seldom omitted, at a certain Cabaret in the middle of this Paradise; where the forbidden Fruits are certain trifling Tarts, Neats-Tongues, Salacious-Meats, and bad Rhenish; for which the Gallants pay sauce, as indeed they do at all such Houses throughout England; for they think it is a piece of Frugality beneath them, to Bargain, or Account, for what they Eat in any place, however unreasonably imposed upon; But thus, those mean Fellows are (as I told your Lordship) enriched; Beggar, and insult over the Gentlemen. I am assured that this particular Host. Has purchased, within few Years, 5000 Livers of annual rent; and well he may? at the rates these Prodigials pay, whereas, in France, a Gentleman esteems it no Diminution to Manage even these expenses with Reason. But, My Lord, it is now late, and time to quit this Garden, and to tell you, that I think there is not a more Illustrious sight in the World, than to meet the Divinities of our Court, marching up the long Walk in the Thuilleries, where the pace is so stayed and grave, the encounters so regular and decent; and where those who feed their Eyes with their Beauties, and their Ears with the Charming Accent of their Discourse, and Voices, need not those refreshments of the other Senses, finding them all to be so taken up with these.  
I was curious before my return, 
Where they plead as at Westminster.  and when I had Conquered some difficulties of the Language, and Customs, to visit their Judicatures, where, besides, that few of their Gownmen, are to be compared to those of the Robe in our Palais for Elocution, and the talon of well speaking; so neither do they at all exceed them, in the forms and colours of their Pleading; 
Of the Pleading amongst the Lawyers.  but (as before I spoke of their Raillery) supply the defects of the Cause, with flat, insipid, and grossly abusing one another; a thing to trifling, and misbecoming the gravity of Courts (where the Lawyers take Liberty to Jest men's Estates away, and yet avow their Avarice) that I have much admired at the temper of the Judges, and their remissness in reforming it: There was a Young Person, whom at my being there, was very much cried up for his Abilities, and in whom I did not observe that usual intemperance, which I but now reproved; and certainly, it springs either for want of those Abilities, which the Municipal Laws of this Nation (consisting most of them in Customs like our Normandy, whose Ancient Dialect their Books yet retain) are so little apt to furnish; or the defect of those advantages, which the more polished Sciences afford us, without which, it is impossible to be good Orators, and to maintain their Discourses without diversion, to that vile nency.  
But, what is infinitely agreeable in this Country, 
Of the Bowling-Greens & Races.  are the Bowling-Greens, and the Races, which are really such pleasures abroad, as we have nothing approaching them in France, and which I was extremely delighted in; but the Verdure of the Country, and delicious Downs, are what gives them this pre-eminence, and indeed, they are to be valued, and do in m● esteem, very much commute for the loss of that glorious Planet, which ripens our Vines in France.  
The Horses, and the Dogs, 
Of the Horses, & Dogs, Parks, etc.  their incomparable Parks, of Fallow-deer, and Laws of Chase, I extremely approve of; but upon other occasions, all Englishmen ride so fast upon the Road, that you would swear there were some Enemy in the Ariere; and all the Coaches in London seem to drive for Midwives.  
But what did much more afflict me, is their Ceremony at Table, where every Man is obliged to sit till all have done Eating, however, their Appetites differ, and to see the formality of the Voider, 
They don't know the use of With-Drawing-Rooms.  which our With-Drawing-Rooms in France are made to prevent, and might so here, if they knew the use of them, to be, that every Man may rise when he has dined, without the least indecency, and leave the Servers to their Office.  
I have now but a Word to add, and 〈◊〉 is the tediousness of Visits, which they ma●● here so long, that it is a very Tyranny, to sit to so little purpose: If the Persons be Ladies, that are strangers, 
Woman sometimes Silent.  it is to look upon each other, as if they had never seen any of their own Kind before, and hand here indeed the Virtue of their Sex is Eminent. For they are as silent and fixed as Statues; or if they do talk, it is with Censure, and sufficient confidence: So difficult it is, to Entertain with a grace, or to observe a Mediocrity.  
In sum, My Lord, I found so many particulars, worthy of reproof in all those Remarks, which I have been able to make, That to render you a veritable account of England, as it is at present, I must pronounce, with the Poet.  
Difficile est Satyram non scribere. And shall defer what I have further to add till the return of my Lord Ambassador.  
FINIS.