SOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE ANSWER To an ENQUIRY into the GROUNDS & OCCASIONS OF THE CONTEMPT OF THE CLERGY:  
With some ADDITIONS▪  
In a Second LETTER to R. L.  
By the same Author.  
LONDON, Printed for N. Brooke at the Angel in Cornhill near the Royal Exchange. 1671.   

THE PREFACE TO THE READER.  
SInce I was last with you in this kind, I have almost been of as many Professions and Employments, as there be City-Companies: and have had as many several Names as the Grand Signior has Titles of Honour; for setting aside the Vulgar and Familiar ones of Rogue, Rascal, Dog and Thief (〈◊〉 may be 〈◊〉 by way of 〈◊〉, 〈◊〉 well as out of Prejudice ●…r Offence) as also those of more certain 〈◊〉; as Mallolous Rogue, ill-natured Rascal, Lay-Dog, and spiteful Thief: I say, setting aside all these, they have travelled me almost quite through the Map. For in a moment, I got to the straits, shot the Gulf, cut the Line, and was presently, Barbarian, Indian, Turk and Jew. And, notwithstanding this, the Business went on at home all the while besides; for there I was Rebel, Traitor, Scot, Sadducee, and Socinian: and then, you know, I had but a little way to Antichrist himself.  
I thought it therefore the best and most honest way, not to conceal these things; that you being fully satisfied, of that pernicious poison that was in the former, you may carefully avoid the dander of being infected by this second; but if you are so bold as to venture a blowing up; look closely to it: For the Plot lies deadly deep, and 'twill be between your Legs before you be ware of it; for this is full out as Jesuitically contrived as the other was said, and thought to be. But, of all things, have a care of putting it into your pocket, for fear it takes Fire; or runs away with your Breeches. And if you can shun it, read it not when you are alone; or, at least, not late in the Evening: For the Venom is strongest about Midnight; and seizes most violently upon the Head, when the Party is by himself. And if you happen of any doubtful Expression, be sure you take it for the present, in the worst sense; for you may abate again, after the heat of the Wether be over. And if at any time you find the Viper begin to creep upon you; run instantly out of your Chamber, and get into any company, and fall to railing immediately as hard as ever you can (nay, say somewhat to yourself as you go along in the Streets) for fury and passion whets the Blood, and keeps the Enemy at a distance: and is found to be as good against any Bookish Infection, as a Glass of Sack is against the Plague. I shall not tell you one Line of what is in it. And therefore consider well what you do, and look to yourself. But, if you be resolved to meddle, be sure have a care of catching cold: and keep to a moderate diet, for there is danger, and jeopardy in it besides.  
And I must desire, that when you come at a Neighbouring Minister of the Answerers, looking over his five hundred Sermons, that you do not believe me: For I find, that he did not look them all over with his outward Eye, but only called them over in his mind. And I desire also, that the Answerer would believe himself, and not me: For I would not, by any means, have him write a Book only about that Mistake. And, indeed, whereas he says in his first page, that one design of his Writing was to make an acknowledgement, that a great part of what I writ was true: I wish that either he would have let my Truth have shifted for itself, without the help of his acknowledgement (for, I profess, he has prevented me killing I know not how many Otters) or else that he would have divided his Letter into two parts: and have placed the Answer by itself, and the Acknowledgement by itself: Which if he had done, and picked them duly and carefully; he might have written all that, which he calls Answer, upon very little more than his Thumbnayle.  
And I must particularly beg of the Scripture Non-Conformists, that they be not too severe upon a small Lay-mistake: For my Bible not lying just under my Elbow, I find, I have in one place made our Saviour say that, which indeed John Baptist spoke before hand for him.  
And, because I am in the begging humour, I must crave further, that if any of you hear of a second Answer coming out against my former Letter, concerning my putting the Tarts before the Chickens (for I am given to unders●…nd, that such an Objection is n●…ed) that by all means you presently stop the Press: for most certainly Chickens ought to have the precedence of Tarts; both by an indispensable right of nature, and by the justest rules, and traditions of Cookery: And I shall always be ready to acknowledge, rather than defend such mistakes.   

SOME OBSERVATIONS UPON THE ANSWER To an ENQUIRY into the GROUNDS & OCCASIONS OF THE Contempt of the Clergy, etc.  
SIR,  
WHat Service you or I should do to Church or State by cracking of N●…ts, I do not understand; excepting the case of Chestnuts, upon which, a●… it has been reported, the Kingdom of Naple●… has some Mysterious dependence; but however to this Employment our old Friend, and Acquaintance W. S. advises us, rather than to disturb the world with idle wishes, and dangerous endeavours of doing any good. For, although what I sent you in my last, may possibly be most of it true, and might in the opinion of some hasty men, be counted useful; yet there be others of a more wary, and deliberate Judgement, that say it must not be true, neither shall it be true, because there is an ancient, and received Axiom amongst Statesmen; That all things that are true are not fit to be said at all times; as the Answerer to my first Letter most politically observes.  
Now, Sir, this same Friend of ours does not tell me plainly, whether he expects to hear from me again; and if he does, for my part, I know no more what to write, than he knows me. For his Love and Tenderness towards me, is so very great, that it will suffer him to answer but to very little of my Letter (as you know, Sir, Friends, if they be dear indeed and indeed, are very loath to cross, and contradict one another) and therefore he troubles not himself much about that; but only he assigns me over to, God knows, how many further Answerers: as, first of all, I am to be quarrelled with by all the Schoolmasters of the Nation, for undervaluing the great Ordinance-days of Humiliation and Repetition. Next o●… all, I am to be versifyed upon par●…icularly by the Westminster Scholars; who are to persecute me severely with Poetical Squibs, and Crackers. If these do not effect the Business, than Cowley is to be raised from the Grave, on purpose to make a Pindaric upon me. After all this, the Convocation is to meet, and have a Session on purpose, to pick out one of a nimble Pen, and a ready Wit, to recover the reputation of the meanen Clergy. But, if these all fail, and should not humble me, then by way of Pigeons and a Postscript, he advises the Gentry of the Nation to raise all the Trained Bands, and County-Troops, to be in Arms against me; and having well whetted their Swords, to make sharp Thrusts at me, and to wound my reputation, in order to the Redemption of their Cousin Helen, who was carried Captive to a small Vicarage. In short, Sir, it is very plainly the opinion of the Answerer, that if some body does not take me in hand, and (as he says, p. 22.) do not seek to lessen the value of my Letter, and that very speedily, the Church will certainly be all sunk by Michaelmas next, and the State will tumble after it in the following Spring. Bless me! think I, what's the business? a man cannot wish a few honest, and innocent wishes, but that presently he must be rhymed on, confuted, and fought; but that he must be bound over to Westminster Squibblers, hard Thrusters', and Reputation-wounders And for what? Only for endeavouring to procure the meaner sort of the Clergy a little more Money, and a few more Books.  
But, perhaps, Sir, there may be something else; We bade best therefore look a little into the Answerer; to see where the offences lie, and where we are likely to be quarrelled; for this Gentleman letting off the Gun very easily, fights but very little himself; but only sets out the ground for the Battle, and claps his hands, and cries, Holoo, to the Armies that are drawing up.  
But before that be done, I cannot but take notice, that although our Friend, for old acquaintance sake (which possibly might be begun at Milan; for where else I should be acquainted with any W. S. I cannot devise) in many places, is very prodigal of his sweet Expressions towards me; yet, I perceive, it is always done with a very wary prudent reserve▪ For his Love and good Opinion of me seldom hold above a Page ●…ogether, if so long. In one place of his Preface, he thinks him whom he answers, a v●…ry ho●…st Gentleman; but in another Huff (says he) We are as good men as himself, and have reason to quarrel with the world, that we are not more admired and honoured. For my part, I began to call for my Whinyard, being almost afraid that he would have drawn; but all was over presently again; for, in the next Side, he falls into such a commendation of me, for joyding the Credit and the Serviceableness of the Clergy together, as if he would have fed me with nothing but Sugar-Sops and Soft Jellies; but yet, for all that, before he closes up his Preface, he sets my unwilling teeth to the difficult task of cracking Nuts. Nay, sometimes his Affection rises, and falls, within six Lines compass; for in the beginning of the first Page of his Answer, he seems somewhat timorous, and doubtful: Either (says he) the Au●…hor does truly believe, and affectionately bewail, or does very vainly, if not hypocritically too, inquire into the Grounds and Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy. But this trembling and jealous Fit was quickly over; for the very next Line, he loves me like mad; saying, that he does readily believe (notwithstanding the fr●…quent drolling that might make some severe men to doubt) that I am in good ear●…est. When I had read these words, doubtless think I now 'twill be a Match; and I may venture now surely to speak for the great Cake. But alas, This Passion called Love, is such a Passion for changeableness! for be●…ore I had made an end of that Side, all was Doughty again, and he falls into another Qualm; and do●…bts whether in many things I have said well.  
And thus, Sir, he carries me from Page to Page; sometimes he makes me rich in imagination, and as Illustrious as a Peer of the Realm; but, by and by, he takes away all my Treasure, and Credit, and (p. 80.) gives me an inevitable choice of Fool or Knave. Some flattering and half Friend would have only said, as he does, that all the Gentry covet my Company; and that my Acquaintance lies with the Learned Clergy only. But alas, Sir, he knew full well, that this might have huffed, and quite spoiled such an unsettled temper as mine; and therefore he knew how to spend good words moderately, and how to put in a dash of Humiliation with d●…scretion. To keep company only with Worthies, and the Learned, is too fattening and foggy; it would in time intoxicate, and breed conceit, and bad humours; and therefore my Friend knew very well, how healthful and seasonable it would be for my Constitution▪ to take sometimes fresh Air, and to send me abroad to gather Briefs. The truth of it is, I must perfectly resign up myself to his management; for whether I do or no, I perceive, he will dispose of me according to his good pleasure: Sometimes I am permitted to be in the right; sometimes I must be in the wrong; e'en according to the humour that he is in; for once in so many Pages, to keep me meek, it is convenient, that Faults should be found; and then he applies both eyes to the Book, and looks for them with all earnestness and diligence: And indeed, Sir, if I may so say without seeming conceited of my own undertaking; the Answerer might as well have excepted against all the Book; and to make short of it, have pronounced it one entire and continual Lie from beginning to ending, with as much reason, as to except against many of those places, which he has picked out ●…o confu●…e: Which will more plainly appear by the choice of the Objections, that he has made against my Letter: For having most carefully rer●…sed his Answer, I profess; Sir, to you, that, in my opinion, the most sturdy ones which are to be found in his whole Book, are such as follow; viz:  
That there is somewhat in Homer, besides an Account of Achilles' Toes, and the Grecians Boots. That take two Lads, the one sixteen, the other fourteen years of age; he of sixteen shall be wiser than he of fourteen, Caeteris paribus, i. e. as he explains himself, ●…f at ●…ourteen, the foresaid sixteen Lad happened to be as wise as the other is now. That ev●…ry Gentleman that keeps a Chaplain, has not a Cousin Abigail to wait upon his Lady. That it is lawful to take a Preface from Adam, because the New Testament refers to the Old. That there is a Neighbouring Minister of hïs, that has above five hundred Sermons by him; and having lately very well looked over the same, f●…nds not one of them to begin with an ingenious Picture. That it is very allowable to shred into a Sermon good store of Latin and Greek (at least Latin) though it be in a Con●…rey Parish; because old Mr. Dod uses to say, so much Latin, so much Flesh. That it is a great joy, and re●…reshment to a Ministers own understanding to quote several Languages, though no body understands them but himself. That though it should be admitted, that for the most part in a Country Village Latin might be spared; yet, if it be out of St. Austin, it is very useful, though no Creature in the Parish understands one Tittle of it; because ignorant people are not to be imposed upon. Lastly, That those little Sentences, viz. as it were, if I may so say, and with reverence be it spoken, are very mollifying Sentences; and may with as much reason be used, as si ita loqui liceat, or detur verbo venia.  
These, Sir, as far as I can perceive, are the most knocking and destroying Objections against my Book. As for the rest, he either most plainly, and grossly mistakes me; or else he tries to do it, but says the same that I do (only he does not know of it) when he thinks he contradicts me: All which will appear aftenwards in their due places: for I would willingly be as careful to observe his Method, as he has been industrious to mistake my Meaning.  
The first thing, wherein I am so shamefully and horribly out, is, that I have not sufficiently reckoned up the Grounds and Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy. For that I having referred all to Ignorance and Poverty, I have, says he, (p ●…, etc.) most carelessly l●…ft out the Papists, Jesuits, Quakers, Nonconformists; and (by his leave) he has forgot one, as well as I forgot the rest, and that is the Draining of the Fens; there being a near relation between Atheism and the Contempt of the Clergy. But no man can think of all things at once.  
Well; and do you think, Sir, that our old Friend is in good earnest, or does he droll? Does he in his Conscience believe that the Papists do slight and undervalue our Clergy? Do they lay their Plots, and Stratagems to make us daily more and more despised? and does he think that they are really, at the very bottom of their hearts, Adversaries, and Enemies to the Church of England? Well, suppose they be; what would he have me to do in this case? Must I set sail presently for Rome, or dispatch a Letter forthwith to the Pope, desiring him out of all love, to tie up all his Priests and Jesuits; and not to suffer any one of them to cross our Seas: and furthermore to let his Holiness know, that in good truth, he does not do at all like a Gentleman, to let his Agents, and Emissaries ramble up and down with Swords, and long Perukes, and other fashionable disguises; inveigling those of our Church, and searching up and down in unknown habits, for some of the least of our Learned Clergy; puzzling them with Sophisms, and making their Triumphs over them? Do you not think, Sir, that he would listen to this, as he did to the Quaker, that went over to convert him. Surely the Answerer cannot be so ignorant of the Romish Church, and Constitutions, as not to see, that so long as the Pope believes himself Supreme, and Infall●…ble, or (which is all one) endeavours to carry on the humour o●… being thought and believed so to be; so long as the Protestants stand in their opinion for Schismatics; and they believe, or, at least, say they do, that there is no salvation out of their own Church; so long as they think themselves obliged, or pretend to think, that they ought to use all Arts, and Means, to restore all again to themselves, and to frustrate all the Intents of the Reformation; Lastly, so long as they think themselves Judges, or will judge what Means are most likely to be effectual to bring about their designs, shall we imagine that they will beg our leave to comb their Perukes, before they come out of their Dressing Rooms? or that they will take our advice what street they shall walk in; about what Corner they shall ply; what Company they shall keep, and whom they shall dipute with? Now, Sir, because I thought it next to Impossible, to hinder altogether their contriving our contempt (it being in a manner in the Body of their Religion so to do) as also that there be several wise and wholesome Statutes of this Realm, with all care and prudence at first made, and since often renewed (and now lately enforced by strict Proclamation) to prevent their bad intentions towards us, and to defeat, as much as may be, their plots against us; if the Answerer would but have considered of these things, and had he but had that same gratifying Master of his, who used, as he says, so to open his understanding in the Case of Juvenal and Florus; perhaps he might begin to guess, why I did not particularly insist upon the Papists, as great occasions of the Contempt of our Clergy, but left them, and many such things, to be treated of by him: In doing of which (although I am not apt to boast of good works) I think I did very frie●…dlily: For had I not left two or three such things untouched, he would have been hard put to it (as far as I perceive) to have found Furniture for his Answer.  
But yet for all that, If I were very highly pleased with my own Model; and were resolved to hale, and fetch in all to my two chosen words of Ignorance and Poverty, and stiffly to defend the same; I could then, Sir, for a need, tell him, that many have been tempted to turn Catholics (as they call them) for want of preferment; and many have been abused and slighted by them, and brought themselves and others of their Profession into Contempt, for want of Knowledge▪  
Now, though I never expected, that all the Clergy of England should be so subtle in Logic, so cunning at untwisting a Complex Theme, so experimentally skilled in Subject and Predicate, so accurate at forming a Verb, and at hunting out an Etymology to the first Original (as I perceive the Answerer is, by what he so earnestly recommends in several places) but that here and there one in a County might possibly be worsted by a keen and pinching Jesuit; yet certainly, if the Clergy in general, were better furnished with all sorts, and advantages of Learning, it would be more difficult for those diligent Enemies of ours, to meet with so many frequent opportunities of Victory and Conquest: and thereby, you know, Sir, the Grounds and Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy would be much lessened, though not altogether removed: For I hope, that no body counts me so extravagantly mad, and doting, as to think that I should believe, that it might possibly be so contrived, that there should not be any Living Creature in Orders in the whole Land, but should be so rich, and Learned, as that he should never tempt any man to disesteem him; or that he should behave himself so worthily, and discreetly, that it were impossible for the vilest Rascal, Varlet, or Insidel in the world not to respect him, and attend to his Doctrine; (which is a thing that the Answerer has a great mind that I should say, because he can contradict it) seeing that I had said several times in my Letter, as also in the Preface, that I would propound nothing, as near as I could, but what was hopeful, and practicable. Which thing, if he had been at leisure to have minded, he need not then have held up his hands so high, and repeat it ten or twelve tim●…s with such wonderment, that I should refer all to Poverty and Ignorance.  
I am very loath, Sir, to go about to abate the Answerer's prising himself, for discovering so many other several occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy▪ besides those which I mentioned: but I perceive he seems mightily concerned (as you know, Sir, one Friend cannot but be for another) that I should be so lamentably mistaken, as to say, that whatever lessen the val●… of the Clergy, or render it less serviceable to the world, than might be reasonably hoped, may be all referred to Ignorance and Poverty. For, says he, (p. 7.) The Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy are not only (on our part) Ignorance and Poverty. Again (p. 18.) You had said enough, says he, if our Ignorance and Poverty had been only some, or the main of those things that lessen our value, and ●…ot the only things. And (p. 22.) Wheresore again, somewhat else is sometimes the occasion of the Contempt of the Clergy. And, (p. 23.) I wish, says he, you had not said, Wh●…tever lessen the value, etc.— So that I perceive, if I had said that Poverty and Ignorance had been some of the Causes, or the main, or chief occasion, or the like, it had passed well e●…ough; (I might possibly have had the Gentleman's Daughter;) but to say they are the only; that there is ●…othing besides; to put in that stabbing word whatever, it was an unkind, and unfriendly Expression.  
Truly, Sir, you know pretty well my temper; and I believe, would vouch for me, that I had no malice in my heart, when I said Whatever. But I much wonder that the Answerer, who did so often, and solicitously wish, that that same offensive word Whatever had been left out, should overlook those others that are in the same Sentence; viz. than might be reasonably hoped; or if he did not, what did he think they meant? he may believe me, that those words were not put in by chance, and (being slow to confess) now made use of to deliver me from a dreadful Mistake: But I intended thereby to signify two things; first, That ●… would inquire into such causes, and grounds, as might be reasonable, and proper for me to inquire into; and not into such things, as were already taken care of by the Laws of the Realm, or Canons, and Constitutions of our Church, as was before hinted. And had we an Act of Parliament, that were in as good force, against the Poverty of the Clergy, (which a worthy, and very learned Author in a late Treatise tell us, 
H. Th.  might be so ordered, as it might not be very grievous to the Subject) as against the foreign, and domestic enemies of our Church; I had left out that, as well as those many other causes, which the Answerer thinks fit to mention: But indeed as to that other business of want of Learning; that would scarce be easily remedied by a Vote of the House, except it were extraordinary full.  
Another thing that I intended by those words, was, that I would meddle with nothing that was almost impossible to be wholly avoided: and therefore, at that time, I did not think it convenient (though perhaps afterward I may) to tell the people, that there are a great many very wicked ones in the world, and always will be. Such I mean, who defying Heaven, and even God himself; it is no wonder that they are not sparing to a Clergyman; although he has a very large Parsonage, and although he has all those same Books, that the Answerrer says (p. 46.) he has heard of: nay, though he be one of his neighbouring Doctors; with his rattling Coach: For we have those that can curse and swear, as loud as that can rattle, and rumble, let the road be never so uneven, and the Coachman drive never so hard; and so they will, so long as they give themselves up to the Devil. But I thought it not fit to write a Letter to Him, to chain up his busy spirits of darkness, from intermeddling with affairs on Earth; nor to insert him for one Ground or Occasion of the Contempt of the Clergy. But this, I think, may conveniently be said, that whatever number we have of those that are despisers not only of the Clergy, but of all that is good; and that were I to write my first Letter again; I cannot (by the blessing of God) think of any more proper way, either to recover them from perpetual ruin, or to abate their infecting of others, than with all earnestness to wish that their might be daily additions of such to our Worthy Clergy, whose Counsel, Value, and Example might win them by degrees into some sense of Religion, and better opinion of those that are more peculiarly the Maintainers of the same.  
I know there be some, who having a great mind to dislike something or other, think they have made a considerable Objection against what I writ before, by saying▪ that I was very silent as to the carriage, and conversation of the Clergy: which may be pattly true, and yet no great omission; because I thought with myself, that if there were any want of advice, and exhortation to the Clergy, it might be more proper to be performed by such as had Authority over them, and power to mind them of Ecclesiastical censures: but, for my part, I know very little Service that I could do in that kind, unless I should have rid up and down the Country, and turned Parrettor, or Informer; and so bring in a Roll of such as are idle and negligent in their Profession: An employment, I must con●…ess, that I do not much approve of, but shall leave it to the ready and listening Nonconformists; whose ill will to the present establishment of the Church, would make them very glad of the office: and, I am confident, they would bring in a very fine bill since St. Bartholömew the famous, if they were but entrusted with the contriving of it.  
And perhaps this may in part satisfy what the Answerer thought he said against me (p. 10.) viz. that Integrity, together with Learning, and an Estate, is more considerable than either of them or both together. Yes truly that it is, by above ten in the hundr●…d: But yet for all that, he need not to think, that supposing the great Tithes should be bestowed upon a Vicar, that he should presently fall to breaking all the Commandments, and saying the Creed backwards: for that it is, or at least must be his meaning, if he intended to gainsay what I had written, that is, that Learning, and a good convenient Estate are of none, or very small account, and use in a Clergyman; if there be but integrity of Life, and good conversation: Which, I say, I think is not extraordinary true: For take this same Integrity, th●…t has but little money, and very few Books; and give this Integrity a good Library, and the knowledge thereof, and an hundred pounds a year; and if this Integrity be not more considerable, and do more good in the world, than poor, naked and unlearned Integrity, I never saw the like o●… it; especially in a Clergyman, who you know, Sir, since miracles are ceased, are supposed to come to a better knowledge of the mind of God, and better able to discover the same to the people that are committed to their care, by dedicating themselves; and their time, to that D●…sign and Service.  
It is j●…st to as much purpose, and as much against me, what the Answerer says on in the same Page, viz. That very rich and very learned Clergymen have been despised; witness the Bishops in the late times. Yes truly, I must needs grant an old Friend of mine, that taking away all their Estates, the Arch-Bishops Head, and putting many of them in Prison, are notable Signs of their being despised: and he may remember also, what the same despising Rascals did to our Sovereign the King; and what would he infer from thence? If any thing at all, it must be, that Riches and Knowledge are altogether as useless, and as subject to Contempt, as Poverty and Ignorance: If he please, he may so infer; but when he has done, he will scarce be able to hire two in a County to believe him, unless they be very special and inward Friends.  
But of all Stra●…agems that he makes use of, to show how vain, and successeless all my endeavours were likely to be; that certainly argues the most of close and thick thinking, which he luck's upon (p. 12.) Nay, says he, I will venture further a little ●…o ●…ake it appear (and indeed if there were ever Venture made, this was one) that Ign●…rance and Poverty are not the onl●… grounds of Contempt; for some Clergymen are as much slighted for their great Learning, a●… others are for their Ignorance. Now, although he says in his Preface, that he would not much boast of convincing the world, how much I was mistaken; in what I undertook; yet, I am confident of it, that this Contrivance of his did inwardly as much rejoice the Cockles of his heart, as he fancies, that what I writ did some●…imes much tickle my spleen But wherein, I pray, Sir, are they slighted? O says he, in their Preaching; a Learned Scholar-Preacher can neither keep the People awake, nor make them write after him, whereas a plain right down less learned Divine shall make them stare, and start again; so would an honest Block-River with his Beetle, hearty calling at the Church-Door, once in five or six Minutes, as well as the most Ecclesiastical Fist, powerfully exercising upon Edifying Wainscot.  
But does he think, Sir, that Ignorance will outpreach Learning? He is to remember that in●…o want o●… Learning, I put also Discretion, and want of the use of Learning; and also consideration of the capacity of the Auditors; and there be many other things, besides Greek and Latin, hard Words, and some Mysterious Points, which to preach to Common People, you had as good give them a Lecturè about Squaring the Circle: And therefore he did not hear me say, that the greatest Meer●…Scholar is always either the most admired Preacher, or really does the most good, because many other Circumstances are required, upon which the Fame, and Success of a Preacher does sometimes depend: But yet, thus far I durst venture to say, (seeing that we are got upon the Venturing-Pin) that he that understands the Holy Scriptures best, and ther●…in the Mind of God explained; (under which I comprehend all Learning requisite for the same) he also that has the Command of true and useful Rhetoric; discerning what words are most proper, and intelligible; and how they are so to be ordered as they shall not make either any harsh, and unpleasant noise, nor be difficultly understood; and that has besides an audible and graceful Voice, a comely and unblameable Gesture; if this man thus accomplished, be not more respected, and likely to do more good in general, than he that wants all, or has but som●… few of these, than it is a most rash and idle thing●…, to wish the very meanest we have of the Clergy, to have had the opportunities of any better improvement.  
But, O, the sanctifi●…d postures▪ the fam●…liar and condescending Similitudes, and the insinuating and 〈◊〉 Voice 〈◊〉 I hope, Sir, they do not r●…solve ●…o muzzle my Clergyman, or think that I intended only 〈◊〉 mute Divine; one that should only frown, and forehead ●…is P●…rishioners into a Godly Life, instead of prudently reproving them; and saying nothing to the purpose, should only cheer up the people, with drawing up his Chaps into a pleasa●… Smil●…, when the Use of Comfort is ready to come▪ Of which Religious 〈◊〉, we had a great plenty in the late ●…ealous times▪ tho●…e, I mean, that use to turn up the Glass, and spend a quarter of it, in rocking themselves into a still Fit of Prayer, and then breaking out into a sudden fright of Devotion, as if they were risen from the dead. We are, (thanks be to God) past those days, when the Pulpiteers use to strip, and truss them●…elves, as if they w●…re to show some spiritu●…l tumbling; and so having hung up their Cloaks, and put back their Hair behind their Ears, sometimes they were for bending backwards: as if they would take up a Shilling in their Eyelids; sometimes again for stretching upon the Cushion, as if they would turn over their heads, and show you the double Summetset; but then, if there came to be any extraordinary Show, and the Occasion did require▪ any transcendent Feats of Activity, and great Agility of Body, such as a public Thanksgiving, or a Solemn day of Humiliation; ●…uch a time called only for close Drawers, and the Breeches were to be left at home, because they were great dampers of the power of the Spirit, and a vast hindrance to the efficacious carrying on the Work of the Day; and the immediately succeeding Tax: Then, it was that Godliness chief consisted in the management of the Eye; and he that had the least Pupil was the most righteous; because most easily concealed by the rolling white. Then it was, that they would scarce let a round-faced man go to Heaven; but if he had but a little Blood in his Cheeks, his condition was counted very dangerous; and it was almost an infallible Sign of absolute reprobation: And I will assure you, Sir, a very honest man of a Sanguine Complexion, if he chanced to come nigh an officious Zealot's House, might be set in the Stocks, only for looking fresh in a frosty morning; and yet, for all that, these pale and world-renouncing Saints, should slyly lick up all the Sweetmeats of a small Parish, and religiously suck down a Pint or two of Malaga, and then despise the Creature, unless taken with moderation.  
What the Answerer meant, in saying, that an unlearned Preacher had many ways to keep people awake, and to make them as busy with their Pens, as the Clerks are in their Chancery-Office; whereas a man of Reason, and true Eloquence should not so much as draw forth one Sighs, Tear, or drop of Ink, I do not understand; for, for my part, I see nothing to the contrary, but that a person of good Education and Discretion (if he did not think it useless and fantastical) may hollow as loud, as the most illiterate of all; for, Sir, if you remember, care was taken, that such as were designed for the Ministry, should have not only all their outward Limbs, but also good, strong, and lasting Entrails; which, you know, Sir, if the Mouth does but open, and things be but a little ordered, will make noise enough. If indeed people were to be bellowed, or blown to heaven, then certainly their H●…rdsman with his Horn, might save more people of the Parish, than the Minister, though he splits his Throat; and I deny not, but that a man may be scared by a whole Cannon, or a Crack of Thunder, but scarce into a good Life that will hold and continue; and although to the late famous Triers, it was an approved of Sign of Conversion, to have been in a great Storm, of Tempest, and to have been a little frighted or affected therewith; yet I cannot forbear to say, that that person, who has been kept awake by a mere hideous noise, and such a strenuous Voice that will not so much as let the poor Jackdaws rest quietly upon the Steeple: when he gets but once out of that jarring Din, he may presently fall asleep, and as well try to meditate upon a Sound of Trumpets, as any thing that he remembers towards the amendment of his Life.  
I did partly, Sir, promise to observe the Answerer's Method; but I am afraid I shall not be altogether so good as my word; and i●… I fail, I suppose it is no great matter; for I do not perceive, that the closeness of his Siege is such, as should strictly require any such thing; therefore, before I proceed any further, as he tells me (p. 5.) that he has no reason to thank me, that I should take notice of no other Occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy, but Ignorance and Poverty; so, I am sure, I have very little reason to thank him, for trying to make people believe, that I should say, that whatever disgrace or Contempt did lie upon any of the Clergy, it was altogether their own Faults; To which purpose, I am confident he speaks nigh twenty times in his Book. By two or three places, Sir, you may guess at his meaning in the rest, (p. 6.) he says, I do almost insult over the Poverty of the Clergy; and that I do in a manner excuse the Laity for despising the Clergy; and (p. 18. he wonders at me for thinking that the Clergy is wholly accessary to their own shame; whereas it is oft times their Misfortune, as he says, (p. 23.) and the matter had not been much, if he would have been content, to have been mistaken all alone by himself, but he must draw in the Countrey-Gentlemen, and scandalise them; and set them to make a groundless and senseless Speech, from what he pretends they should find in my Book; saying, Look you here, Parson, have you seen this Book? here is one that has made it as plain as the Sun, that you are à company of dull Blockheads, and that the reason that you are no more respected, is all your own fault; and so you may even sink in your own sorrows, there is no body likely to pity you.  
Surely, Sir, the Answerer has got my Book purposely printed for his own mistaking; For, I can find no such thing at all in mine: namely, that all the discredit, or calamity that falls upon any of the Clergy is wholly, and altogether occasioned by themselves. But the contrary I find almost every page: as, suppose a Lad should be imposed upon, and made believe he is fit for the University; and thereupon should be presently sent away with Cato, Cordelius, and Textor's Epithets for Gunpowder Treason; and with 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉— and perhaps the beginning of the next verse, so fitted to his tongue, that it is ready to start out of his mouth at the first sight o●… the Theatre, or King's College Chappel: and suppose when he comes there, that his parts are such, that the Muses come upon him but very slowly, or that he cares not much for their further acquaintance; having been sufficiently banged out of all love to them at School already: or, suppose he having a mind to study, has neither Time, Books, nor Money to purchase them: but must go to the Stationers, to look what's the English of a word: and that his friends being either not willing, or not able to maintain him there above five or six months; he goes and seeks his fortune; and so, as it is in the Fable, he skips into the pond, in hopes of a flock of Sheep; but it so falls out, that he never arrives to the preferment of above twenty pounds a year; whereupon, Sir, upon these and the like occasions, it so happens, that such an one possibly proves not very serviceable to the Church, nor much esteemed of by the people. Now can any one in the world, besides the Answerer, be so mad as to think, that I who had reckoned up these, and many such occasions of the Contempt of the Clergy: and finding thereupon, here and there, a person in orders not so honoured and useful, as might be wished; should presently bid him (or tempt others, by what I said, to do it) go hang, damn, or bury himself alive; go sink, drown or die in a ditch like a Dog: he may e'en thank himself; it was perfectly his own fault, a great lazy lubber, that might have had a Living of six or sevenscore pounds a year; and he must be modest, and go puling into a private corner with one of sixteen; an idle and unambitious Coxcomb, that might have had his Barns top full of Corn, besides two great stacks in the Yard; and when he should be gathering in his refreshing Harvest, for him to be counting up his few incoming eggs, or scrambling with the poor Pig for Plums under the Damsin tree: an ill contriving Rascal, that in his younger years should choose to lug the bag and the bottle a mile or two to School, and to bring home only a small bit of Greek or Latin most magisterially construed; and would not enter himself into one of the great Schools of the Land; where he might have received his belly full of knowledge in full chargers; and afterward having five or ten pounds a year plentifully allowed him by his friends, should forsake the University, and the Advantages thereof, and go sneaking into the Country, and spend the prime of his years with a comp●…ny of small Grammar-Singers: a careless and improvident wretch, that should be so overseen, as to be descended of such an humour some and ●…hlegmatick Father, who 〈◊〉 so surely, and dull as to bestow upon him neither Estate nor Parts; or that should be so inconsiderate and undiscerning as that he should suffer himself to be begotten of such mean and ordinary Parents; whereas there be so many sine and tall Gentlefolks in the world, that could have given, or procured him present preferment: away miserable and low contented mortal! Weep on, and die, sinking in your own sorrows, and in your own contrived miseries; for you are likely to have no help, pity or respect from us.  
After this rate, Sir, he discredits the Country Gentry, in that Speech, which he makes for them: as if he could find any one creature in the whole Nation (that ever saw my B●…ok) besides himself, so egregiously weak, as to mistake me so grossly, as he represents them to do.  
Neither, Sir, would it satisfy the Answerer to endeavour to make people believe, that it was my opinion, that whatever disesteem any of the Clergy did lie under, was perfectly occasioned by their own choice, and wholly to be attributed to their own neglect, and imprudence: but he must needs go about to draw me in, to undervalue the whole Clergy of the Land: which he has as much reason to hope to do (from any thing that I said) as to try to persuade me, that I promised in my first Letter to cut my own throat; and, for that purpose, he has so ordered the business, that in the Mercurius Libràrius, to the end of the Title of his Answer, these words are added, viz Wherein is contained, a sober Vindication of the Clergy of England from the imputation of Folly and Ignorance. Now, Sir, although I did not spend much time in contriving a set commendation of our wise & honourable Clergy, yet in several places I said so much, & acknowledged it so far, that I thought that no body, that would but at all attend to what I writ, and were not very humoursome, and peevish besides, could possibly mistake my meaning; my design being not to make a needless, and solemn commemoration of the Learning and Wisdom of our Clergy (which the whole world has always admired, and have reason still to do, and our Adversarries to dread) but still to increase the number of our Admirers, and that we may become a greater terror to the Enemies of our Church. Neither, Sir, was I altogether ignorant, how much the ordinary sort of our English Clergy do far excel in Learning, the common Priests of the Church of Rome. But, Sir, as I told you in my last, as there were very good reasons (ever since Infallibility, and the several Arts thereunto belonging, was laid aside) for which it might be convenient, that our Common Clergy should be richer than theirs: So for the same reasons, it might be requisite (or at least very desirable) that it should be more learned; but for all this, Sir, the Answerer, taking no great delight in understanding what I meant, on he goes (p. 25.) most historically showing, that the English Clergy, since the beginning of Queen Elizabeth 's Reign, is much improved; and the reason is, because they can now preach much better, than the High Sheriff could then: whom I must grant to be a most admi rabble Preacher, if his Fancy, and Biscuits held out good to the end of his Sermon; to which, were it worth the while to reply, it might be said, that supposing the Clergy be somewhat improved since those days he speaks of; and that the rest of the world stood staring still at the same low degree of understanding, than a Clergyman, although but a little amended in his judgement, and excelling those of former times, would be much valued, and respected. But suppose the Laity have an odd kind of Fancy to inquire, to improve, and in their way and proportion to grow in knowledge also; then a little improvement in the Clergy will not possibly be so hugely wondered at, as the Answerer expects it should be, unless he could procure an Order to have all that are now living in the world, to be presently knocked on the head, and to fetch from the grave the High-Sheriff, and his ignorant Halberteers to admire the growth and increase of Learning, that is now to be found in the present Clergy. But, for my part, I must confess, I know no reason to deny, that the Clergy of the ●…and does daily considerably improve; but withal, I do not perceive where the Murder, Witchcraft, or the Jesuitism of the business lie, either in wishing that they may still proceed; or in guessing why they go on no faster.  
I believe, Sir, you are sufficiently tired with reading the small Devices, that the Answerer makes use of to defeat the design of my Book, and the hard shifts that he is sometimes put to, to contrive but a conscionable Mistake; but when his parts grows low, and his Invention flags, than he is for seeking out for one of my own supposed Ob ections (and presently shutting the Book, lest he should read any of the Answer) he spends his time in paraphrasing upon that. How o●…ten, Sir, he falls into this humour, it would cost the Reader near six pence to know. I shall give you therefore at present, Sir, but one instance of it: About the beginning of p. 32. he wonders at me very much for seeming to say, that the worst of all Scholars are picked out for Divinity. F●…r, says he, Is it not a strange thing, that they who h●…ve diverted to other Studies, should for a great part, prove excellent in their kind, able ●…awyers, expert Physicians, & C. yet they only who settle to Divinity, should for the most part prove otherwise. Yes truly, it is a very strange thing; and I believe the like was scarce ever heard of; ●…especially by an Answerer, who will neither read, nor guess tolerably: For, if he had but taken that s●…me Prospective●… Glass, which he advised me to look upon the ●…aity 〈◊〉 (p. ●….) and had he but turned either end of it upon what I said, (p. 11, 17, 21, & 81.) perhaps his wondering in time would have somewhat abated; for there he might have sound, that very few determine themselves to the Protession of Law, or Ph●…sick, without the consideration of some Estate; upon which they foresee they may be probably maintained, until they gain skill enough, and reasonable Con●…idence, to profess, what they design; and, sure I am, that there is scarce now to be found a Lawyer in the Nation, that ever got, or is likely to get Sauce for a Pullet, but (besides his Universitypreparations) has spent the best part of his time for six or seven years together to fit him●…lf for his intended Employment; and as for those many others that go only to the Inns of Courts, to learn and admire the excellent Knack of eating without a ●…rencher, or to know the Porter's Name, and the four Terms; these are only a shame to themselves, no great discredit to the Profession; because they never intent, nor endeavour to practise; and if they should go about it, it would be but to very little advantage for them to give a proof of their ill spent time; for he that palpably loses his Business at the Bar, once and again, merely for want of skill, and not out of pardonable mistake, he may e'en run home to his Chamber, and lay aside his Gown; for his Sword will as well become him in Michaelmas-Term, as in the Long Vacation.  
And these, Sir, are the choice and best of the Reasons, that I can find in the 〈◊〉; upon which, he will not suffer any of the inferio●…r sort of the Clergy to come to any higher degree of knowledge, before they enter upon their Holy Employment. The next thing, that he undertakes to show, is, that supposing the Ignorance of any of the Clergy be such, as it were convenient to wish it less; yet that I have either not truly assigned the causes of it, or have omitted many. And here in the first place, he falls upon me as severely, as the very Castle-keeper himself could have almost done, for finding fault with the common Method of Schooling: In which, his first assault, abo●…t Greek and La●…in, is so forcible and furious, his Reasonings so killingly close and destroying, and all his Directions so securely backed and guarded; that I was almost tempted to renounce logic, and all its works, and never to come again within a Furlong of an ●…ntwister of complex Themes; but presently to clap ●…at under Arm, and to run as hard as Legs would carry me, to the first man that sold any Amo or 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. About the middle of p. 35. (a place I am sure I shall no more ●…orget than 〈◊〉) after a mild and gentle preface, as sweet and courteous as Friend could devise, viz. I beg your pardon, says he, if I be not altogether of your opinion, as to the business of Schooling. When alas! (little thinking I of any such danger, so nigh at hand) without mercy he seizes upon me with the utmost violence, and dint of Logic, and beginning with a most confounding disjunctive Syllogism, called by the wicked and hardhearted a Dilemma, or Cornute (which you know, Sir, is the most barbarous and unchristian than can be invented by man of Argument) he tells me after this inhuman and savage manner; Either, says he, it is necessary that Greek and Latin should be learned, or not. Now, for my part, Fire or Water; burn or drown; I know not which to choose. If I say not; than he has me most cruelly upon the Hip, and brings me over with a most deadly Gulsh: For I, thinking nothing of this Mischief, had gone, and foolishly said, that there were very good Books in Latin and Greek; and therefore, seeing I cannot avoid it, I must say Yes; though it be to the undoing of my Wife and Children. Yes, says he? then if necessary, those Languages are to be learned at School, or not. Well: it's ●…'ne as good to be undone at first a●… at last; I must say Yes again. Very good! says the Answerer; and now we have got you thus far, I proceed, and assume. Nay, think I, now I perceive, he intends to kill me alive; now come French, Spaniard, Turk, Tartar, or any devisable thing; for nothing, I am sure, can be so heathenish, and void of all Grace, as a cruel and bloodthirsty Assumer: But I must be content; for on he goes, and to make an utter end of me, says, that if Greek and Latin are to be learned at School, than a good proficiency is there to be be made; and if a good proficiency, than nothing but the mere words of the Languages are to be studied. But I know, Sir, he'll be ready to say, that he does not conclude so: but I care not for that; for he must conclude so, if he intended to conclude against what I said: For I said nothing against the ●…anguages, but only that some other delightful Employments might be mixed with them; and that a very competent skill therein might possibly with more advantage be gained out of some other Authors, than out of Dictionaries, or Janua's, which are not much better. A Lad surely may bring up a little ●…rithmetick and Geometry (beside a good Bouget of Latin and Gre●…k) without breaking the Horses Back; especially if his Father's man comes but along with him. And as the Answerer says, he has heard of Fathers, Councils, and the like; so I have heard there is a Greek Euclid; and that there be many Latin Books, out of which Knowledge, together with words may be conveniently learned. But alas! now I think of it, old Folks will not give unto Children any Reason, for fear it sho●…ld choke them. What, give a Child rank and surfeiting sense! It will breed Worms, the Itch, Kib'd Heels, and Scabby Heads. Children must have only Water-Gruel, scald Milk, Bread and Butter thin spread, and gayed, and easy digestible words. A Triangle brings down the Pin of the Mou●…h, and a Square, if it be any thing large, certainly inflames, and causes the Squi●…zy. And, as the Answerer says, (p. 37.) It is Memory alone that is to be cherished and employel in Lads; that being the great Sto●…chouse and Foundation of all Learning. Yes truly, it is so; but for all that, I do not much approve, that a whole File of Lads ●…hall be all hanged up indifferently together, for not being able, in the same time to get, and repeat so many Inches, or Feet of words; whereas perhaps some of them, having naturally but a small Faculty that way, have as much reason to be whipped, because their Hair is not curled and flazen, or their eyes are not grey. And whatever Sense the Answerer may pretend is to be found in School-Books to assist and help the Memory, yet it is usually so undiscernible to Lads, that you had as good set them to get by hea●…t all the Signs from Temple-Bar to Westminst●…r, as many Tasks that that they are ofttimes obliged to.  
And as for the business of Homer, if the Answerer will promise me not to be angry, I will for once choose rather to be of my Lord Bacon's Opinion than his; who tells us in his Advancement of Learning, that he can without any difficulty pronounce, that the Fables of Homer (notwithstanding he was made a kind of Scripture by the later Schools of the Grecians) had no such inwardness in his own meaning; but however, as the Answerer well observes, there is somewhat else in Homer besides. Achilles' Toes. But I profess▪ Sir, my mind d d so run upon the so often commended 〈◊〉 of the 〈◊〉 (〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉) that I might easily forget the Buckle-Garters. But is there nothing else in that ancient and venerable Poet, but dry Stories of Footmanship, and such like low Accomplishments? Was it not he, that laid down the first Elements of Physic, and Chirurgery; and gave the first Glimpses for scraping of Lint, and spreading Plasters upon Leather? Is he to be undervalved, that is not only the Most Ch●…istian, but most Protestant of Poets; in whose Works you may not only find all Practical Divinity, as fast as in the li●…le Book of Piety itself; but most Cases of Conscience warily resolved, and knotty Controversies accutely decided? Is he to be called a Rumbler, who glides as smooth as a Star, or a fired Rocket of Tow? who was not like common confined Mortals, born at one dull place; but at no less than seven the most eminent Cities of the East? Is he, with whose Works, Alexander alone could take rest, when as the whole World besides could not content him; is he, who has been so solemnly quoted in all Ages, and so generally relied on as the only Standard of Grecian Clossicalness, to be compared with Garagantua, that was famous for nothing else but Torchch●…ls? Alas, Sir, this is nothing to what might be found in Homer, if people were but diligent, and go but deep enough into the Original. There is the Jesuits Powder, that the world has made such a great stir about, lies so evidently in one place, that reading but the very Verse with true Accent, will almost cure an ordinary Quartan: And again, there is the Philosophers St●…e; for which people have been groping so many Ages: I could say somewhat concerning a certain long word in the second Iliad, that would encourage an often frustrated Philosopher, to call for his despairing Bellows, and presently to blow up a fresh. And indeed most of those Rarities, which latter Ages have counted themselves happy, and ingenious in the finding out; as the Compass, Printing, the Circulation of the Blood, and the like, are fundamentally all in Homer; and if people had not been lazy and distrustful, might have been long before brought to light, by a little help of Dydimus and Eustathius.  
And this puts me in mind of what I have heard so often said concerning his Latin Brother, Prince Virgil; namely, that if all Arts and Sciences were absolutely lost, burnt or sunk; and only Virgil left secure, in the Capit●…l; they might be all most easily recovered out of him, by one that has but patience, a black Eye, and a good Commentator. In one corner of a Verse lie very close all the Secrets and several Systemes of Astronomy; and though Ricciolus has seemed to search many Authors for his curious Observations, and to have spent many an hour in his ingenious Contrivances; yet, if you trace him home, and watch him but closely; you will find, Sir, that he is only a Paraphrase of four or five pounds' price upon those bare fruitful words of the Poet— quo sidere terram. From another small quantity of Princely Verse may be retrieved, if need should be, all the practical as well as fundamental Laws of Policy; and that Candia stood out twenty years, only by a right understanding of— Apibus quanta experientia parcis; keeping close to the Letter; and was afterwards taken by some Idle, and loser interpretation of the same words; there is nothing more plain. Nay, Sir, I shall tell you a little further, what a Nonconformist not long ago hinted to me, viz. That if the present Fathers of our Church would but lay aside a●…l Ecclesiastical History, Fathers, Councils a●…d Canons; he 〈◊〉 undert●…e to d●…aw up, out of the Evingelical and Prophetical Writings of Virgil (as he called them) such a Body of Divinity and Church-Discipline, as should exactly agree with the Primitive ' Doctrine and Intentions of ●…ur Saviour; and more than that (giving me a private jog) he was almost sure, that if this great Poetical Divine had lived in our days, he would have turned out at Bartholomew; for he found some notable Insinuations in the Authar against the Surplice, and renouncing the Covenant. So that, Sir, upon further considerations, I must be forced to acknowledge what the Answerer says (p. 38.) that together with the Fabulous part of Poetry, there is a great deal of useful Lea●…ning to be found.  
But withal, Sir, I must beg leave to put in a Caution or two, as to what was said a little before concerning Homer; and then not a word more of Homer all this Year. And first of all, I have made some little enquiry concerning Alexanders's laying him under his Pillow,; and I find, that the Learned differ; some placing him only upon a Stool by the Bed's side, and others over his Head upon a little Ridge; the ancient M●…nuscripts not fully agreeing about 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉; and as for Rabelais, I shall not undertake for his being of the Refo●…med Religion; but as to Divine Mysteries, I think that Homer and he may equally pretend: and though Comparisons are odious, yet I am some what forward to acknowledge, that the mighty spirit of Garagant●…a declining the vulgar way of coming into the World, and cunningly crawling up the Hollow Vein, and so making his Escape under his Mother's Ear, is not much inferior either for honour or strangeness to that Seven-City Birth of Homer. I meet indeed sometimes with idle extravagant people, that are so profane as to compare his Poems to Chivy-Chase; but such I always check; showing them plainly, that when the Poet has a mind to recreate his Readers to purpose, then by the elegant help of his little tickling 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, he could do it so effectually, that nothing ever came more delightful from the Town of Athens. What more Theorbolike than 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. What more smooth and celestial than 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. But indeed when the Bro●…d Sides of Pol●…phloisboio's, the Hyppodamoio's, and the Poluscar●…hmoio's are dreadfully discharged towards the upper end of the School, and the noise thereof come grumbling down like a Cart over a wooden Bridge; I will not say, but that a small Lad or so, of a tender Constitution, may chance to creep underneath the Table. But to make an end, Sir, of this; questionless there is a very peculiar and secret worth in several Authors; and if you want a Bit of ancient Authority, to plant Classically upon the Title-Page of your Book, there is none that is more fit, or has been more serviceable, than the worthy Poet before mentioned. Nay, so serviceable has he been in this kind, that I durst almost venture to say, that if he should by any Misfortune be afterwards utterly lost, he might be so far picked up by pieces out of Title-Pages, that there should scarce be wanting one 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.—  
And thus having done with Greek and Latin, I shall now, Sir, follow the Answerer to p. 39 where he tells the world, that if he would have made the worst Construction of all things, (and indeed worse I think no body could have made very easily) it is my Opinion that thirteen or fourteen years of age is old enough for a Boy to be dubbed a Freshman in the University; whereas I only said, it is but very low and 〈◊〉 diet to live sixteen years upon the mere strength of words: but notwithstanding that, he hurries on in a most sharp con●…utation of me caeter is paribus, as he did about Greek and Latin▪ but yet somewhat warily, quoting by the way Dr. Hammond, and another that were admitted into the University at thirteen, and did well. Whereas, in that place, it never entered into my thoughts to consider to what years it was best to continue at School: but only, let the time be what it will, I thought that some of it possibly might be better spent. But the Answerer does no more here, than in many other places besides: For where the confutable matter grows scarce and thin; then he is for making some certain opinion for me; and having deputed me to say such, and such words, he begs leave to suggest somewhat, (p. 40.) and then he falls with all Vengeance upon that same poor opinion of his own devising: and knocks it and bangs it, to dust and ashes. And this humour is so powerful upon him, that within two or three pages he is at it again, viz. (p. 43.) it does not, says he, always necessarily follow, th●…t Ropedancers in the Schools prove Jack-puddings in the 〈◊〉. No verily, it does not; and I knew it very well: but th●…t does not hinder but that it may sometimes follow, or very often, or usually happen (as I said pag. 33.) I pray, Sir, when you meet the Answerer next, desire him to look a little better to his words: He could not be content to put in always instead of usually; but he must bind it, and ram it with necessarily; saying, it does not always necessarily follow. I own him, as I remember, a little curiosity for treating me so barbarously about that same troublesome word whatever. I wish with all my heart, that he had not said always; for an old friend, an old acquaintance to say always! and to put in necessarily besides! it was certainly a most unhappy oversight. But then, I liked that which follows singularly well; i. e. having made me to say, that all that ever had been Praevaricators and the like, did always necessarily prove Triflers in the Pulpit. There, says he, I think I have catched him bravely; for I know some that never came there; and others that have, who behave ●…bemselves very gravely and seriously. Yes, and so do I know several; that have been courted, or for●…'d to undertake those public places of wit; who are now in their several prof●…ssions, as considerable persons, as belong to our Nation: But yet for all that, as I believe, that it was not quibbling which made them so consi●…arable; so still I am apt to think, that such exercises do provoke slender-witted Lads, to spend too much of their time in such Trifles; who having no such tempting Examples, nor hopes of applauded jests, might possibly have employed themselves in such studies, as might have made more for their own, as well as the World's Advantage.  
I wonder what the Answerer counts worth the while, when he says (pag. 44.) he thought it worth his, to add a supplement to those things, which I had reckoned as causes of that Ignorance that is in some of the Clergy. I am not, Sir, so ridicu●…ously silly, as to say that nothing might be added: But yet in all sober sadness, the Answerer must excuse me, if I right down say, that the Account which I have given, does not at all appear imperfect, by any addition that he hath made. For first of all, says he, I have skipped over the dulness of some men's natural parts. Surely those places were not rend out of my Book, that tells him, not only that a Lads parts ought to be guessed at, and ofttimes might; but that discreet and wise Physicians should also be consulted, before it should be determined that he should live by Learning. I did not indeed give any particular directions that every Lad, before he was so determined, should take a certain p●…rge; and according as that should be found to move the humours quicker or slower, so he should be resolved upon, as sprightful and apprehensive, or as dull and incapable: But excepting that one thing, all care was taken that any man (besides the unreasonable Answerer) could possibly expect: But yet for all that, he says also, that I forgot the short stay which some make at the University; which in truth, as he says, I had great reason to have taken notice of. Which I did, as I think, so plainly, that I know not how to have done it more, unless I should have got it encrossed upon Vellum in great Text hand, and have ordered every word to begin with a vast red Letter. But these omissions of min●… he hints at by the by only: But (pag. 45.) he pitches upon three very ●…emarkable things, which he says, by my favour, he thinks I have not considered, and yet they are such as do much concur to the keeping of some of the Clergy low in Learning, viz. want of 〈◊〉, w●…nt of time, and want of learned 〈◊〉. Now, Sir, if you remember the Answerer says that he gave a shilling for my Letter and read it. But, for my part, I profess I can scarce tell how to believe him; for he writes and answers, as if he ●…ad lived altogether at the Molucco Islands, or, as he says of himself in his Preface, like one that is out of the World of Books. What can we do, says he (pag. 45.) without Books, unless Learning were infused and inspired into us by a Miracle: and again, What can we do with Books, unless we had time to read them: Very right; and so said I: And I know no difference; but only I said it in Michaelmas Term, and he says it in Hillary. It is, Sir, to me a very strange thing, that the Answerer should seem perfectly to forget what I said; and yet take the very same words, and print them, and sell them for supplements and new discoveries at the King's Arms in St. Paul's Churchyard, which were sold three months before at the Angel in Cornhill.  
And thus, Sir, I have in short considered what the Answerer had said as to Schools and Universities. It is time for him now to call me to an Account concerning preaching. Which he does (pag. 53.) and first of all he sets upon me with a charge general, for endeavouring to bring the whole O●…ice of Preaching into Contempt. I wonder that, when he was about it, he did not thrust it home: and accuse me of cutting off the late King's head; or that I had a design to burn all the Bible's that were to be found; from the largest that lies on the Desk, to the smallest Geneva; not leaving, if possible, so much as a Psalter or Primer in the whole Land: and that to his knowledge I did intent to begin this Antichristian work upon the first of June; that the billets most certainly were already provided; and that I had spoke for the brush would to be brought out of Kent. When people fall a guessing, I love they should guess to some purpose. I hate all small ambiguous surmisers; all quivering and mincing conjecturer●…: give me the lusty, and bold Thinker; who, when he under●…kes ●…o prophecy, does it punctually. You writ, says the Answerer, at that rate, as if you had a design to bring the whole Of●…ce of Preaching into Contempt. Who can ●…ell, Sir, what my design was, but myself, any fur●…her than it may be judged by my word●…? let eve●…y body design ●…or himself: why sho●…d one man design for ano●…her? would not the Answerer think, Sir, that I were very frantic; if I should tell him, that I beg his pardon; but in my opinion he writes after that rate, as if he had a design to disparage himself and his Profession: or, that he has managed his business so slenderly, as if I had hired him to set forth a mean Answer; and thereby to build myself a Reputation upon the weakness and mistakes thereof. This, Sir, would look like a sly and ill natured Insinuation: or like one of those same disingenuous squints, with which the Answerer (p. 57) says my Letter looks upon the Clergy. But i●… it for certain that I am against all Preaching? and that my design is to bring that holy exercise altogether into Contempt? might not some favourable and tender hearted man by no means be persuaded to think otherwise? no, by no means, say●… the Answerer: for that Irunning through the whole method of Preaching, he finds that I am against all Prefa●…es, Simi●…itudes, Divisions, mollifying Sentences, Latin and Greek, flesh and fish, Mr. Dod and all that is good.  
And o●… all things, Sir, which trouble the Answerer, I perceive nothing does it more, than that I should speak slightly and meanly of Prefaces. That seems, says he, (p. 55.) to me that our very Prefaces are 〈◊〉, and meanly spoken of: and if s●…; ●…hen ●…arewel all Religion: farewel Church and Steeple: farewel Pulpit and Cushion: what take away our dear Prefaces! Can he be a well wisher to Preaching, who will not so much as let us begin our Sermons? and can he be an encourager of hearing the Word, that will not suffer the attention of the Auditors to be pr●…pared by a considerable Preface? or a friend to the reading of the Bible, that will not allow so much of the ●…irst of Genesis, as to make men●…ion of Adam? what, against Prefaces! has he so little knowledge of the Scriptures as to forget St Luke the great Evangelical Orator? is he of no worth or example with him? methinks the beginning of his Gospel might have taught him more modesty, and manners; than to be against Prefaces? and is there any hurt to begin a Sermon with Adam, seeing there is such a great affinity between the Old Testament, and the New; and that many Texts in the New do so plainly refer to the fir●…t Adam? Yes truly: because it seems not convenient that the Sermon upon good Friday should have the same beginning with that upon Trinity Sunday: because I stinted them on this side Adam, and that too, when the Text was in the Revelatio●…s, saying nothing ●…t all but that they might begin at the Flood, the Captivity or the like: because I knew it was the humour of some to spend half the hour in beginning to begin their Sermons; fetching their Preface as far off as they could turn the Bible backward: and lastly, because it seems reasonable that people (as far as might be) should be instructed in all the several duties of their Religion, and have the greatest and most useful parts of the Scripture explained to them: therefore am I against all Prefaces. I wonder he did not conclude, that in my heart I was against Adam, Moses and the Prophets, he might have done it as well, if he had but thought of it. St. Luke has a short and suitable Preface of four Verses, to his whole Gospel: but gins neither with Adam nor Belshazzar: and you know, Sir, St. chrysostom, the Orator of the Church, has many Volumes of Homilies or Sermons: but, as I remember, there are very few Preface●… taken from Adam; and yet you know, Sir, the New Testament did as much refer to the Old and first Adam, in St. Chrisostome's days as in ours; the affinity being not ●…uch increased since: and if the Answerer please to look, he shall there find the Holy Father to have Prefaces proper and peculia●… to the time, occasion or subject of his discourse: and so have all Orators, a●…swerable ●…o the matte●… they intent to speak. Tully, you know, Sir, and Demosthenes were often called upon for Speeches, but they knew how to prepare their Auditors without disturbing Romulus or Theseus: and yet you know, Sir, there was a very close reference between Catelin and Romulus: for Catelin should have burnt the very City of Rome, which Romulous had founded. But the Orat●…r thought it better to begin with Quousque tandem than Cogitanti Romulo: And I believe his present Majesty much wondered to what Nation he was restored, when the Rhetorical Mayor welcomed him to his Corporation with a long Compliment derived from Adam. I am not, Sir, (God forbid that I should) against the Answerer's putting into his Prayer (for perhaps it may be part of it) that the words which he is to preach may be as goads, and as nails fastened by the Master of Assemblies. But if he should begin every Text in the Bible with that very same Preface (which he may equally do) I believe some idle people would say somewhat; I cannot certainly tell what. The Answerer, Sir, invites me (p. 52.) very kindly to hear him preach, and that, if I will go over he will give me one of the best of his Sermons. But if I do, Sir, I think to send him word to desire him (for that day) to forbear Belshazzar; let him do all the year besides, as he thinks fit. I shall also take it for a Favour, if he would not begin his Sermon thus, As Abraham sat in the Tent Door, and lifting up his Eyes, and looking, behold three Angels appeared be●…ore him; so if you please to stand with patience and expectation, you shall see me coming towards you in th●…se thre●… Particulars. And, if with any convenience he can dispense with it, I would beg of him, that he does not take that of Isaiah; Come ye buy, and eat; yea, come buy Wine and Milk, without money and without price; or if he does, that he would not tell me, that his Text is like a spiritual Sack-Posse●…; for I was told so once, and I scarce ever loved Sack Posset since. Possibly also I may obtain at his hands not to take that of the Apostle to Timothy, This is a faithful Saying, and worthy of all acc●…ptation, that Christ Jesus came into the World to save sinners, of whom I am chief; not but that it is a very good place of Scripture; but it is a Text that has been imagined ju●…t like a Christmas Feast; consisting of three Dishes; th●… sirst Dish was to be commended for its soundness; This is a faithful Saying: the second for its sweetness; it is worthy of all acceptation: and the third dish was a Proposition, consisting of five Ingredients. Now, Sir, if the Answerer had had but the untwisting, the dressing, and the serving up of this Luscious Proposition, what a Feast would the people then have had? what wonderful variety of Subjects and Predicates might this Dish have afforded? How many choice and Princely Bits might have been here discovered? and how plentifully might it have been stuffed and larded with juicy Latin and Greek? a Dish of Propositions? I would go a Mile to see, if it were but one simple one in a Dish; and to consider, how puzzled the King's Carver would be to take off the Subject from the Predicate, without endangering the poor thin lurking Copula. Now I know, Sir, some are of such nice and fashionable stomaches, that common sense and truth will not down with them, unless it be hash'd, and fricasseed; they must have their Barricado's of greedy desire, and Esculadoes of virtue, and Christ must be the Dauphin of Heaven; but, for my part, I had rather have any plain and homely entertainment, so it b●… 〈◊〉 and wholesome; than a whole Pl●…tter full of such feasting Prefaces; which with a little new garnishing shall serve for Easter, Whitsuntide, and all the Holidays in the year; for your Propositions are a sort of Diet, that will keep a long time in Sowse-drink; if they do but now and then change the Pickle, and take a new Text.  
I do not at all question, Sir, but that you know very well before, (as well as now) what that meant, which I said about Prefaces. But I have very little hopes of the Answerers being so suddenly improved, as to understand me yet; who has given such late Instances of his slowness be●…ore: But however I proceed, Sir, to the business of dividing of Texts: and what I said as to that in my former, was upon this account; namely, that it was a thing very easily to be observed, that many that went into Holy Orders to inform and save men, spent too much of their time in Logical ostentation, and nice Divisions of their Texts; and after such a manner, as they had very little Authority for so doing, either in ancient Holy Writers, or in other good Authors; of which, I believe, we may search a great many, before we can find any Melting, dropping or dissolving the matter that they intent to treat of. We are bluntly told by the Orator, Bonorum duo sunt genera, and Accusationis tria sunt parts; and by Caesan, Gallia est omnis divisa (not neatly and featly liquefacta) in parts tres; and I know not how the King would take it, if they should tell him, that his Dominions were to be melted into England, Scotland, etc. and notwithstanding the Answerer thinks himself so plain and practical, when his Text falls asunder into Subject and Predicate; or into Antecedent and Consequent; yet for all that I'll undertake if this be in a Countrey-Village, he had better let down the Tress of his Text into the Fore Horse and Thiller; for they understand no Subjects and Predicates; only the King's Subjects and the Kings Predicates. They much mistake me (as the Answerer did) that think I was ever any further against Text-dividing, than either where it was not understood, or was not necessary.  
I always thought that he that took that to the Corinthians for his Text▪ Sin not, had much better have let it continue whole (it being but short) than to divide it into a Command, and a Prohibition; a Command, Sin; a Prohibition, Not. I have also sometimes thought, that their Logical pains may be somewhat spared; who when there is no need of it, divide every thing (be it what it will) into Affirmative and Negative: For instance; it is said Job 1. There was a Man in the Land of Uz: Homo non Lapis, a Man not a Stone: Homo non Lignum, a Man not a Tree: Homo non Leo, a Man not a Beast. And by the way, Sir, mind what poor Lignum and Leo are forced to signify for the letter sake. In like manner I thought him also in th●… late times a little too nice, and tender of his credit; and somewhat too profuse of his Logic and Rhetoric; who being to preach upon that of the Acts; Silver and Gold have I none, but such as I have give I thee: Whenever he had named his Text, desired the people▪ in all haste, to take the words not literally, but allusively, for that he had good store of money chinking in his pockets; besides what he left at home in his coffers. Doubtless a cautious foresight▪ of following objections, and an early removing of the same, are great instances of wisdom, and discretion: but he that taking that of Malachy concerning the Sun of righteousness etc. laboured most e●…rnestly to convince the people, th●…t it was not the Moon of righteousness; for the Moon shall be trodden underfoot. Rev. 1●…. 1. And again he that shall tell us that God was pleased to send his Son into the World, not his Daughter: or the like. Such as these, I must needs confess▪ have somewhat too low apprehensions of the capacity of their Hearers. He that undertakes to preach about Repentance, or true Religion: nothing certainly is more necessary and proper for him▪ than to let the people know, that they do not consist in looks, eyes, and noises; for such things with some are mistaken for Godliness. But when the Scripture tells us There was a man in ●…he Land of Uz; or that God was pleased to send his Son; that any body should think, that this man might chance to be a stone; or this Son to be a Daughter, is strange to conceive.  
We read that Christ opened the Scriptures: and expounded out of them the things concerning himself. We read also upon what occasion it was that Felix trembled; and what a great number were converted (without Predicaments) by one Sermon of St. Peter. What the immediate Successors of our Saviour and his Disc●…ples did; we have little left concerning their manner of Preaching; though 'tis to be supposed that they spent their time in bringing people to the Christian Faith; by expounding to the Jews the Prophets, and convincing them that Christ was come▪ and by converting the Gentiles to a Religion that contained the best Principles of Life. What was done after the Church was in some measure settled: and that the number which was received into Orders was so considerably increased, as that there might be, at least in Cities and great Towns, some continuing Ecclesiastical person; may be best seen by such as were afterwards Governors of particular Churches; which, as we find, made it their business to confirm people in that Faith which they had received; and to strengthen them to all good Works; which they did by preaching against such Heresies and Errors, as they found the people were apt to be carried into; and by fortifying them against such Vices, as they perceived the time and place was most inclinable: And that this was the manner of their Holy Employment, is very plain by St. Basil and St. chrysostom, and many of the rest; where one may read a great many go●…d Sermons, but very few Texts, or peculiar Sentences of the Bible pi●…ch'd upon▪ much less so Logically and Metaphorically dressed, as some affect. I believe there were very few Texts that melt●…d and dropped asunder for the first five hundred years. Notwithstanding (as the Answerer observes) the Scripture tells us, My Doctrine shall drop as the Rain; for they had the Bible as well as we, and knew the meaning of that place, as well as the Answerer. But yet, for my part, I never was, nor yet am against a Text being taken, or being divided; there being (as may be by and by mentioned) considerable conveniences in both; but yet one may presume to think, that it is much better only to say; Good people, we are met together this day in the Name of God; and I do intent to exhort you to Charity or Temperance, or to convince you of the Providence of God; and this I shall do (by God's help) according to the Scriptures; than to take formally and solemnly some place of Scripture, where the word Charity, Temperance, or Providence is, and spend the whole time in Logical Cuts, Metaphysi●…al Curiosities, and Learned Impertinences: And hereupon 〈◊〉 may not be amiss, to take notice of what a very Worthy Clergyman observed; There be, (says he) two sorts of Mi●…sters that occasion their own contempt; the idle, negligent and careless; the other those who overdo, or do more than enough; such I mean▪ as affect nothing else, but acquaint and cur●…ous Phrases; or are unmeasurable in their Quotations out of all Authors Ecclesiastical and Profane; or sore aloft in unnecessary Speculations far above the capacity of their Auditors. These overdo, & magno conatu magnas nugas, take great pains, and eviscerate themselves, as it were, to wove a Web, which when it is ended, is fit for no other use, but only as an unprofitable thing to be swept away. The Answerer perhaps would be apt to say, that this was some pert and self-conceited Divine, that admiring his own Style, and way of Preaching, talks thus: were it not that a very Learned and Reverend Bishop did much admire, and solemnly commend his Ingenuity, Learning, Worth and Integrity. But to return, I say, it is much better of the two to follow the way of the Homilies of our Church, which are plain, practical, and may be understood by most; than to be so nice, critical, and s●…holastical, as few or no body shall be the b●…ter.  
But yet notwithstanding I am not of their mind; who thinking themselves the profound Reasoners of the Age, and the deep Enterers into Truth, do thereupon despise all taking of Texts, and dividing thereof; those I mean, that, for fashion sake, shall take you indeed Text after Text; as if they would explain to you all the considerable Mysteries of Religion; and acquaint you with all the Enc●…uragements that tend to a good Life, that are to be found in the Bible▪ and carry you through such a body of Divinity; but the Sermon, I thank you, (except it be just the beginning) shall be very near the same▪ for a new Text may be taken with that prudence and wariness, that the same Sermon shall serve a man many a day; as suppose this Sunday he takes that of St. Matthew, My Yoke is easy, and my Burden is light; about a Month after, it is time possibly to take forth: and then he i●… for that of St. Paul to the Romans, viz. Which is your reasonable Service: and a while after for that in the first Epis●…le of John; A●…d his Commandments are not grievo●…s. Now, Sir, here is the craft of it; if they take Texts suitable to the occasion, and divide them accordingly, they could not then for shame, and Conscience, but meddle with one word or other that is there to be found. But if they read the Text only in the whole; and take it between finger and thumb, and show it plainly to the people; that it is a good▪ Text, a fair Text; and that there is no deceit in the business: after the Parish have had this general view, he may privately pocket it up again; and then for Christian Religion, and the Excellencies thereof: only this Caution is to be observed; that if the Text be in the New Testament, any where between St. Matthew and the Revelations, than it is to be shown, that Christian Religion is much beyond the Mosaical Doctrine and Dispensation; but for variety, if the Text be in the Old Testament, than the case is altered; and you are to show that the Mosaical Doctrine is very far short of the Christian. Nay, Sir, some there be, that are so daring, that shall venture to take a Text about Swearing or Adultery, as plain as can be picked, and as hopeful to bring forth a Discourse of those Subjects, as could be wished; and yet, for all that, with a little sly Preface shall draw you (before you ware of it) into the old business of Christian Religion. Now, Sir, the next thing that the Answerer has to do, is to take notice, that this looks like a disingeniou●… Squint upon Christian Religion. Yes, Sir, he may so; and go on, and tell people, that it is my whole Design to bring in the Turk; he may do it with as much Conscience, as to report that I was against the whole method of Preaching.  
And as some are so bend upon Preaching nothing but Christian Religion; as if Joseph of Arimathea was just newly come o●…er: So others there be, that have their particular and darling Notions, which they will force to be intended in almost every Verse of the Bible; for instance, one, suppose, having spent some considerable time i●… studying the Nature of Original Sin, and finding as he thinks, such wonderful things, as were never plainly discovered before; hence is he presently so full of the Secrets of Original Sin, that if the Parish should join, and add six pence more in the Pound to his present Tithes, they would scarce get a Sermon about any thing else: You may set him to preach about the Birth of our Saviour his Life, Death, Resurrection, Ascension, or what you will, Original Sin is still the word for all that; and this calls to miud what my Lord Bacon reckons a great hindrance to the advancement of Learning, and of doing good in the world; viz. people addicting themselves to some one peculiar and beloved opinion; and so making all things of that, and bringing all things to that; they will suffer nothing else to be in the whole world; and thus Gilbertus having made some few and lucky experiments upon the Loadstone, not usually observed before, presently writes a Body of Natural Philosophy, and turns all the whole world into Lodestones. Thus, Sir, Sleep draws me to bed; and Business pulls me out in the Morning; Affairs abroad draw me from home; and Occasions at home draw me back again: And in short, man is born, lives, and dies by nothing else but Magnetical attractions. And to conclude this, Sir, I cannot ●…orget him, who having at some time or other been suddenly cured of a little Headache with a Rosemary-Posset, would scarce drink out of any thing but Rosemary Cans, cut his Meat with a Rosemary Knife, and pick his Teeth with a Rosemary Sprig: Nay, Sir, he was so strangely▪ taken up wi●…h the excellencies of Rosemary, that he would needs have the Bible cleared of all other Herbs, and only Rosemary to be inserted. I think, Sir, (notwithstanding this Digression) I am not far from my business; viz. that it is very convenient both for the Minister and people to be acquainted with variety of Matter; and that it be delivered, according as there▪ be opportunity; seeing that after this manner are the Homilies of our Church most wisely and gravely composed; as also those of the ancient Fathers; treating about the most considerable and difrent Subjects in Divinity.  
Having now told you, Sir, in what Sense I was against Prefaces and Divisions; I should now proceed to what follows: but because it seems, that the Answerer having consulted his Neighbours about their Texts, found so few of them lik●… any thing, I thought fit to let him and you, Sir, know what abundance of Likenesses (besides many other dainty things) I happened on, in one little pretty Sermon, called the Wedding Ring ●…it ●…or the Finger, or the Salve of Divinity on the Sore of Humanity. Do you perceive, Sir, he is got alr●…dy upon the Ro●…es, before he be passed the Title▪ Page; Finger and Fit; Salve and Sore; Divinity and Humanity. But to go on to the Similitudes; The Text itself, indeed, was only like the Iron Gate that opened to Peter of its own acc●…rd; dividing itself into three parts; and that is enough for any one Text. But then as for Man and Wife, they should be like, or are like all the Two's that are to be found in the Bible, or almost any where else. First, Husband and Wife should be, as the two milch Kine, which were coupled together to carry the Ark of God; or as the two Cherubims, that looked upon one another, and both upon the Mercy▪ Seat▪; or as the two Tables of Stone, on each of which were engraven the Laws of God. But in some Families, Man and Wife are like Jeremiah 's two Baske●…s of Figs, one very good▪ the other very bad; or like Fire and Water; whilst one is flaming in Devotion, the other is freezing in Corruption. Husband to the Wife is sometimes▪ like a Fore-horse in a Team, that will not draw; and the Wife is ofttimes to the Husband as the ●…vy is to the Oak, for a certain bad reason there given: they should indeed be like two Candles burning together; or like t●…o sragrant Flowers bound up in one Nosegay, or like two well tuned Instruments; or lastly, like two Springs meeting Again, Husband and Wife are as a pair of Oars, to ●…ow their Children and Servants to their 〈◊〉 Haven; or like a Cock and a Hen, b●…th scraping together in the Dust-heap, to pick up something for their little Chickens; and they should be like the Image in the Looking-Glass; or like an Echo that returneth the Voice it receiveth; or like any thing else. And thus much concerning Liknesses. Now, Sir, if you be for Sleight of Hand; you shall see as fair turns, as ever were shown above-board. When Man was mad●…, the four Elements were taken out of their Elements: That's done as truly according to Art, as old Hiccius himself could have done. Again; He that made Man and all the rest, made Man over all the rest: Neat and cleaver as may be! Though man had many Creatures to serve him, yet he wanted ●… Creature to solace him. Poor Chuck; take a Glass of Sack for keeping the Letter so pre●…ily! Though Man alone may be good, yet it is not good for man to be alone. Brave, I profess! I think we had best take him off; for he will spoil himself. Where there is no Generation, there can be no Regeneration. Better and better; I think he improves. He that made man meet for help, makes a meet help for man; though man wants supply, yet man cannot supply his wants. But to conclude this pleasant 〈◊〉: Though some have styled Woman to be like Clouds in the Sky, yet a Preacher should not be silent, for those who are silenced from Preaching. If you have a mind, Sir, to see any more of this sanctified Wit: you may have it in the Non-such Christian Professor in his Meridian Splendour.  
And now, Sir, according to what I was about before, I go on concerning Quotations out of Learned Languages: against which, I said nothing, when it was either needful, or profitable; but to come crawling in with Ne quid nimis, or Ignoti nulla cupido, for pure Latin-sake it sel●…, is very insignificant to those that do not understand it; and not mightily rejoicing to those that do. But then snppose that which is quoted, be very proper, expounding, and elegant; and out of the most Primitive Fathers: Nay, though it be out of the Bible itself; I know not to what purpose it is, where I am sure and certain no body understands me; for he that tells a perfect ignorant Parish, Quorsum haec perditio? or, Faciamus hic tria Tabernacula. If he be not very honest, may not he impose upon them In nova feri animus, to what purpose is this waste? or, arma virumque cano; Let us make here three Tabernacles; without the people discovering the bad Translation: But I know, the Answerer is of opinion that there is such a native and unexpressible richness in some words, that cannot be possibly rendered and communicated. Yes, there is so; a great richness and hidden Treasure, and I suppose will continue so, where the people do not understand. Give a Country man one of the Answerer's happily compounded words out of Plutarch, and you had as good give him a Slice of a Millstone, or a corner of a Brick; The Answerer indeed that can relish, and i●… well acquainted with the haut goust of a long Greek word may, as he says, do himself a kindness, and gratify his own understanding; but the poor unintelligent may set with dry lips, and be starved for all Plutarch. But O, says he, p. 64. Ignorant people ought not to be imposed upon: and if you should give them the English ●…ithout the Latin they might suspect you: and when you tell them it is St. Austin, they give great heed. And does not he think, that they would be as atten●…ive, if he should baptise them, marry them, bury them, or do any thing else to them in Latin? nay, might he not excommunicate all such a Parish, and make them smack their Lips again, telling them it is a delicious and comfortable place out of the Father? or give them to swallow down eight of the bigest Curses in the Bible, instead of the Bea●…itudes? I do not question, but all this might be done.  
We have now, Sir, very nigh done with Preaching: I know nothing else that the Answerer is still concerned for, but his little mollifying Sentences: as it ●…ere, as I may so say, and with reverence be it spoken. And here I much admire, that he did not quote that of I saiah, we hide, as it were, our faces from him: or that in Leviticus, There is, as it were, a plague in the house. That I might have been utterly ruined, and confuted out of Scripture itself. This would have been as proper, and as destructive of what I meant, as his quoting against me that out of De●…teronomy, my Doctrine shall drop as the rain. But if I must needs trouble the world in telling the Answerer, who they were that I chi●…fly intend●…d; th●…y were those who in the late times (and have not as yet left it off) called themselves Gods special Saints, his Favourites, and (as I may so say) his Intimadoes, but in reality were more Olivers than Gods. Those I meant, who reading of jacob's wrestling with the Angel; and of coming boldly to the throne of grace: and being puffed up with all inward pride and religious self-conceit (which they called gifts and spiritual worth) were arrived to all possible degree of rudeness, immodesty, and almost blasphemy, in their Devotions and Discourses of God. You may easily, Sir; know them by this Doctrine, which some of them use to preach upon: viz. That it was the peculiar privilege and prerogative of Saints to be (as I may so say) saucy: And therefore such as these thinking themselves Gods great Assistants here upon earth, his special Confidents, and (as I may so say) trusties of all Affairs of Religion: They would in their Prayers and Sermons tell God, That they w●…uld be willing to be at any charge and trouble for him: and to do (as it were) any kindness for the Lord: The Lord might now trust them, and rely upon them; they should not fail him; they should not be unmindful of his business; his work should ●…ot stand still, nor his designs be neglected: They must needs say, that they have formerly received some favours from God; and have been (as it were) beholden to the Almighty: but they did not much question, but they should find some opportunity of making some amends, for those many good things, and (as I may so say) civilities, which they had received from him: Indeed, as for those, that are weak in the Faith, and are yet but Babes in Christ; it is fit that such should keep at a distance from God, should kneel before him, and stand (as I may so say) cap in hand to the Almighty: but as for those, that are strong in all gifts, and grown up in all grace, and are come to a fullness and ripeness (or, as they might better say, to an imp●…dence and sauciness) in the Lord Jesus; it is com●…ly enough for them, to take a great chair, and at the end of the Table, and with their cocked hats on their heads, to say: God; we thought it not amiss to call upon thee this evening; and to let thee know, how affairs stand: we have been very watchf●…l, since we were last with thee; and things are in a very hopeful condition: We hope, that thou wilt not forget us, for we are very thoughtful of thy concer●…s: We do some what long 〈◊〉 hear from thee; and if thou pleasest 〈◊〉 give us such a thing (Victory) we shall be (as I may so say) as good to thee in som●…thing else, when it lies in our way, etc. And thus you see, Sir, what frightful stuff I am forced to repeat, to bring a slack Answerer to some little knowledge of what I meant by, as it were.  
I a●… now, Sir, come to the last thing, about which the Answerer is not satisfied, viz. that supposing that the Design of m●… Letter was very honest; yet the manner of i●… is such, as it will do more hurt than goo●…. Which if it does, I can think but of two ways; either by encouraging th●… Nonconformists, or by setting the Lai●… more against the Clergy. It is possible there may be some few people so l●…mentably deceived. If there be, they shall be considered by and by; in th●… short part, which I intended to add, wherein the Answerer will not be concerned: But in the mean time, we will see, what reason I have given them fo●… any such mistake from what I ha●… said.  
First of all, says the Answerer, Th●… grounds and occasions of the contempt of the Clergy, though it be not a Text, yet it is a Theme▪ a weighty and serious Argument, and aught to have been handled accordingly; but the manner of my enquiry is too jocular, drolling and sportive, etc. To which I have in the first place to say, That although I think it not at all immodest to manifest my Design, the end of that being only to prove that I was, and am still very honest in the same; and likewise though it be allowable to endeavour to defend what I had written, this being only to signify, that it was not done out of pure idleness and humour; but upon such Reasons as might be further explained, when occasion should require: yet, I must confess, I am not as yet come to that degree of self-conceit and confidence, as to recommend my own words, phrase, or stile; and I had rather the Answerer should find fault with the manner of my expression, and delight himself in thinking, that it is not suitable to the subject, than be guilty of so much folly and impudence, as vigorously to maintain, or magnify the same: Only thus much, Sir, may possibly be believed by you, and perhaps by some few besides; that (as much a Play as the Answerer thinks my Letter to be, let it be Ignoramus, Selden, or any other Play, I stand to his courtesy) I did not put in one idle or extravagant word, on purpose to render any of the Clorgie contemptible: but did only just endeavour to keep people awake till they read it. But I pray, by the Answerers leave, Who are they that think it too light and drolling? I am afraid they are some that use to begin half their Sermons in the year with Belshazzar, or the like (though the Text be not about Tribulation, for then the Answerer has learned us to bring it in very well) and I'll tell you why, Sir; I heard of a Gentleman, that lives within a mile of an Oak, who read over my Letter, approved of it very well (which is somewhat more than I should say, but let that go) liked its design, believed and hoped it might do good; and verily thought the Author was innocent, and free from all bad intentions. It happened, that afterwards he calls to mind, that upon some odd time (it might possibly be in that great Thaw the Answerer makes mention of) his Text dropped or melted asunder into its particulars: The Gentleman presently takes the Book, and beginning again, cries out aloud, fire, fire, heresy, rebellion; so that now you can no more get him near that Book, than a Col●… to a Windmill. Another also I hear of, who lives not ●…ar from another Oak, who happening upon the foresaid Letter, did in like manner read it, and was very reasonably contented, and thought most of it true: Afterwards he found it out, that he had married to a very true and literal Abigail. Ha! says he, What! are y●…u there with your Bears? Come, give me pen, ink and pap●…r; it is all of it a most dangerous confounded lie; it is against both the Universities, against both the Houses of Parliament, and against all the Gentry and Commonalty of the whole Nation. But by chance my Cousin called him to bed; and he having slept, the Book was pretty true again by next Morning. And I suppose, Sir, you have seen a Book called the Friendly debate, a Book that shows a very, honest Author, be he who he will; but because he mixed a little pleasantness with his unanswerable proofs of the folly of his Adversaries; hereupon presently must he be called a Scoffer at Religion, a droll upon all Godliness, a Doctor of the Stage, and I know not what besides.  
Now, Sir, for my part, I must confess, tha●… I am no great weigher and measurer of words; I have but one Rule, the end of which is only to be understood; and it is very likely, that when I had occasion to mention such toys and trifl●…s, by the use of which Ministers do sometimes bring upon themselves contempt, that I did not then call for a great Canopy and foot-cloth, and setting myself magnificently in the Chair, with set rebuking countenance, and words as stiff as steel, speak to the ●…ternal discouragement of pun or quibble; and then summoning together all the harsh M●…taphors, and idle Similitudes of the Country; bid them all be accursed, and for ever shun my presence; and, whereas they pretend to be the glory of all sense, and joy of the und●…rstanding, tell them they are a compan●… of empty Rascals; and 〈◊〉 let them all be gone. Perhaps this way might have done; it is a very hard matter to please every body. But, as the Answerer hints, there is one part of my 〈◊〉, that concerns the Poverty of the Clergy; a Grave and Tragical subj●…ct which ought to be lamented, not insulted ov●…r. I know not how, Sir, to avoid his believing, that I do most mightily pride myself over the mean condition of some of the Clergy; though I should tell him never so often, that the great design of my Book was to wish, that there might be no such mean ones to be insulted over; and though I should let him know, that I am so far from any such unchristian humour, that there is none more willing to devote part of his Estate for the raising of their Revenue (if public Authority should so think fit) than myself: but in the mean time, what have you done, what have you propounded, says the Answerer, towards this? Indeed I was not so lightheaded, and fond doting upon my undertaking, as to imagine that immediately after the Printing of my Letter, the Parliament should resolve themselves into a Grand Committee; and forthwith consider of some present way of raising the Revenue of the meaner sort of the Clergy: But for all that, I am not so dead-hearted, but to hope in time that ways may be thought of to bring about such a great blessing to this Nation; for howsoever despairing some may be, yet I must confess, it rejoices my heart more than a little, to call to mind, how the B●…shops have augmented the Vicaridges in their Gift; and to hear o●… several sums of money now employed towards the redeeming of the great Tithes, and to understand that there be many well disposed People, that have already given back their Impropriations to the Church; and that there be others, th●…t have made such Purchases, on purpose, so to settle them afterwards; and above all, to consider the great care and good inclinations of our present Parliament toward●… the Church; who are not only highly watchful to main●…ain the Peace, and present Rights thereof; but seem to be as willing to contribute towards the further Prosperity of the same. I have not indeed propounded any way, as was said before; but if you look, Sir, into ●… learned Author before mentioned, you will there see a way propounded in the twentieth Chapter of his late Treatise: And in the mean time, I hope I have said nothing to aba●…e the charity, or good purposes of pious Ben●…factors; or to stop the assisting hands of our present Governors. And I perceiv●… the Answerer by his Letter, seems not to be much against what I have said, but only does not approve of the manner of expression; and would have had me to have pitied, lamented, and howled. Now Sir, suppose instead of speaking my mind as I did, I should have covered myself with sackcloth, and besprinkled my head with ashes, and with mournful and sad countenance, and a long rope of Onions (to carry on the work of crying) have taken a journey to visit the low condition of some of the Clergy; and should have gone about with a Bell, and a tone as doleful as the man that uses to carry it; and have cried, alas! alas! poor Gentleman, your House is ready to fall, and your Glebe is very narrow, and somewhat short. Alas! alas! here take an Onion; I am come to cry with you this evening, and to bewail your misfortunes and mean circumstances. This is the way indeed to kill the poor Minister before the following Sunday, and to make Widows apace; but what good else it should do, I know not: Or perhaps the Answerer would have had me to have drawn a Scheme of a small Benefice, and have demonstrated, that a Family of six or seven cannot be honourably m●…intained with twenty or thirty pounds a Year; and so putting down A. and B. for the Minister and his Wife, three or four of the following Letters for the Children, and an U. for the Vicaradge, have sci●…ntifically proved that A. B. C. and the rest that follow, would easily eat up, and wear out more than U. if they had it. Indeed, although I was not in all places thus Mathematically grave and serious; yet, where it was needful, I was more considerate than the Answerer perhaps may imagine; and did not frame and devise more inconveniences, than the world is sensible of; and where it was requisite, I reckoned up and well weighed all circumstances. Although I did not use a Quadrant to take the height of every Vicarage chimney, nor cast up exactly how many straws a diligent Starling might carry away in a day, if the Bird risen early in the Morning. And notwithstanding, the Answerer thinks me so woefully and exceedingly hyperbolical; yet as to the number of yards of whipcord, and the dilapidation instruments, I was so very near the borders of strict, Grammatical and sober truth, that I know à Divine, on this side the Line, who was almost ready to set on another lock upon his Study do●…r, to secure his whipcord from that Jesuitical plot, that he p●…rceived my Letter had against it: And, if n●…ed were, I could tell him of another, that thinks my Letter wholly written against his filling the Tumbril, though there be some other things slily put in to disguise the business; and many more such stories I could tell you: For you know, Sir, my manner of Life and Profession; ofttimes calls me into company, where people (as sure as the Answerer thinks he has got me) talk very freely of my Letter, when they think the Author is many miles off. And the other day I was, Sir, in a place, where I heard that some people (besides the A●…swerer) were angry; but for what, they professed they could not tell: and amongst the rest, I must be asked, Whether I had observed any hurt in the Book? To which I answered (it not being convenient at that time to be modest) not verily, I saw none. Upon this, Sir, I began to think a litt●…e with myself upon what grounds any one should be dissatisfied; and I considered, that the things that I did represent as idle, useless or unblamable, are either in themselves really so or not: if they be, and people be convinced thereof, it is far more manly and Christian to abate or forsake them, than to be angry for nothing; but if so be I have undervalved expressions that are rich and precious, and disliked things that are very commendable or allowable; I suppose people are not such fools as to run after my idle fancy, and to fear my displeasure: let them go on; I am mistaken, and there is an end of it. And he that thinks it his best and surest way always to begin with Adam, let him, if he please, begin with the Praeadamites; I do not intent to quarrel. And he that judges it convenient and saving to trifle and quibble in his Sermon, let him do it also in his Prayer (if he be so resolved) and take along with him a pair of Hawks bells, if the Rubric will allow of it; I'll assure him I will not write against him, for I have done. In like manner, if any man be determined against being rich, and is offended at me for wishing him the great Tithes, let him stay where he is; for I do not intent to get a Writ to the Sheriff, to force him into a better Preferme●…t: And if there be any one that will not have his Dairy increased, but will dote upon the sweet society of his single Cow; if he be so set upon her▪ let him ●…ake his pleasure still, and fetch her up daily, and sometimes kiss her (as the old Woman did, when she said, every one as they like.) But in my opinion, a small Laity Boy, although he cannot reduce a syllogism, nor knows any thing at all of the ●…irst ten Persecutions, may do the business as well; if she be not very cursed and bade tempered. And if after this, any body be still angry, let him hold off a little before he raves, and consider, that I am not so dainty-mouthed, as that I must have discourses purposely provided for my own curiosity and squeamishness; because, Sir, you may very well remember, that what I hinted at in my former, were not things of my own disliking; but as I told you, were generally displeasing: And indeed, in my ●…irst Letter, I did rather make it my business, to give a short History of what was derided or blamed, than studied to invent or complain of what might be represented unprofitable or ridiculous.  
And though the Answerer may think, Sir, that I have made it my business ever since forty two to listen at Church windows, or taking the pretence of my Briefs to go amongst them; or to e●…ploy my diligent Factors in several Counties, or to ransack all the Sermons that have been Printed since the Reformation, to get together (as he says, p. 67.) twenty or thirty passages not accurate or Scholar like, and to represent these with all possible disadvantage, to the disparagement of the Clergy; yet he and the world may know, that this was so far from my employment or intentions, that I had quite finished what I d●…signed in my first Letter, before I thought it convenient to insert so much as any one story; and however harsh, unkind or disingenuo●…s I have been before, yet I will now be so civil, as not to say what little pains I was at, or how few Books I searched into, to furnish myself with fit and proper Instances to explain my meaning. And I cannot help it, if some of the politic (those I mean that are loath to part with some dearnesses or other that they use in their Preaching) go along with the Answerer in censuring what I did, as an untimely and unhopeful attempt: but I profess, I have so little skill in the nicety of seasons, and critical ripeness of Books; that I know not of one line, but might b●… Printed as well in seventy, as in seventy one. If indeed what I said, had been some mighty secret of State, and known only to the Privy Council, the Answerer and myself, we possibly out of our reaching prudence, and well-weighed determinations, had resolved not to declare as yet, but to lock up things, that ordinary Tradesmen perceive and complain of, and th●…t even Children of ten years of age observe and make sport with; is doubtless one of the great intrigues that spring forth from the very inwards of Policy. I go, suppose, to hear a Sermon, where there be five hundred or a thousand P●…ople; and the Minister, out of imprudence, b●…d education, or some other misfortune, happens to think of very strange Metaphors▪ or to make use of very bad Tales, Similitudes, or the like: Mum, say I to myself; I intent to have all that, no body else shall have one tittle of it: but perhaps, before the People get out of the Church yard they begin to repeat; and the secret that I designed for my own private censure, by the next morning is gotten all about the Town. Or suppose I am acquainted with some of the Clergy, whose condition is so very low and disconsolate, that they are ●…d to run up and down half the week, ●…o procure a Parish-meeting, to pick up or borrow three or four shillings; or are almost ready to pawn th●…ir Bibles sometimes, to get a little of the Ans●…erers that same to go to Market: this likewise by all means must be conce●…led, bec●…se of the Answer●…rs old Observation, All things that a●…e t●…ue, ●…re not to be said at ●…ll times.  
And now, Sir, I was just going to say, that I had done with the Answerer; which could I say with a safe conscience, it were the h●…ppiest thing that I have said these 〈◊〉 Months; but I must not scape so, ●…or after I had spent the prime of my streng●…h, & wasted my best spirits amongst Greek and L●…tin, Prefa●…es and Divisions, M●…phors and Similitudes, and many other such like ●…nemies; up starts a fr●…sh and dapper Gentlem●…n called a Postscript: Dear Sir, I know not whether ev●…r I shall write to you again; therefore let me beg it of you for on●…, as you value your own r●…putation, your 〈◊〉▪ yo●…r h●…h, life and liberty, and the welfare of your Relations, for the 〈◊〉 beware of P●…cripts; you never 〈◊〉 the ●…urdy blows, the s●…p th●…usts, and the deep 〈◊〉 that such an Adver●… giv●…▪ I know, Sir, your temper inclines you to bold and great things; a●…d it is not a Letter, and a L●…tter too, t●…at can easily affright you: but yet I beg it once again, that you reckon a Postcript 〈◊〉 most dangerous of all after▪ claps. As for Appendices, Corollaries, Supplements, Conclusions, Continuations, and such like small shot, these are not to be dread●…d, but when a Letter comes tailed with a Postscript, and concerning Abigail too, that takes you off just in the middle. What a fool was I, that I could not as well have put in Bet or Bid▪ Susan or S●…rah; but must make the Answ●…r ang●…y, and 〈◊〉 in Abigail: or if I had put h●…r in, wh●…t had I to do to trouble myself c●…rning the Chaplain's setting so close to her? Is it to be exp●…cted that every Gentleman should maintain two Tables, to keep them at a distance? or that he should keep a S●…rvant on purpose to watch private winks, treading upon toes▪ twit●…hing of napkins, or breaking of merry th●…ughts under board? And is there any thing more natural, than for pre●…tinesses to 〈◊〉 looking, and ●…or looking to b●…get admiration? and what i●… admiration and love together, afterwards beget a Vi●…aridge? I hope a Ch●…plain tha●… has been 〈◊〉, trusty, and 〈◊〉, if preferment falls, may d●…rve before a strang●…r. W●…ll▪ I see I was a fool, and there's an ●…nd of it. But for all that I believe the Gentlemen have not as yet laid their swords in oil, nor trimmed up their firelocks, as the Postscript advises: For they have sent me word, that they love me, and understand me; and that the Answerer is out of his wi●…s.  
With whom I am so p●…rfectly tired, that I can scarce s●… hi●… B●…ok, but th●…t I am presently r●…dy to f●…ll asl●…p. He that ●…isunderstands but now and th●…n, an●… where th●… is any 〈◊〉 or ground ●…or it, is very pardonable; but to do it thr●…h and through, from his v●…ry Pr●…face to his Postscript; nay, even as far as Dr. Jegon's verses up●…n the Scholar of Benn●…t College, is so very extravag●…nt and humoursom, that it is scarce to b●… 〈◊〉; and for all this trouble that he has put me to, he thinks he has made me abundant s●…tisfaction, in not duelli●…g me, or in not 〈◊〉 with me as some sh●…rp and se●…re Answerer might have done; but h●…s as he says p. 83.) discoursed with me all this while as with a stranger, and h●…s very little betrayed that he has any knowledge of me. Whereas had he not been very sparing and court●…ous, he could have blasted my credit, and for ever wounded my reputation: He could have told the World, That my great Grandfather, to his knowledge▪ was a very turbulent fellow in Queen Elizabeth's reign; and did most h●…ly wish that the Spaniards might have succ●…ded in their Invasion: That my great Uncle by my Mother's side, was supposed to have had an hand in the Gunpowder Plot, upon some small prejudice that he had conceived against King James; that my nearest Relations, in the late times, were most of them Church-Rob●…ers, Sequestra●…ors and Excise-men; and that one of them in particular, was intimately acquainted with Bradshaw and Ir●…ton; that I my s●…lf was born in the most quarrelsome and seditious Town in all the Nation●… and that I would not suck of any body but of ●… p●…evish and s●…hismatical Nurse, nor ●…at any milk, but such as came ●…rom a kicking and ill-na●…ur'd Cow; that so soon as I could climb up a chair or stool, my only d●…light was to tear Bibles, and all good Books apiec●…s; and a●…terwards (as I grew able) to pull down the Churchyard-pales to let in the Hogs, to root out new buried people out o●… their Graves; that I did not care for robbing any man's Orchard, or plucking any man's Geese, but the Ministers; that I had a little one, privately out at Nurse, by that time I was eighteen years of age; and that I gave five and sixpence a week, besides soap, starch and candle; his name was Belshazzar, and he had brown hair; and so on and on I went, with a constant and peculiar spite against Ministers, till, to the discredit of our Church, I writ the Contempt of the Cl●…rgie. After this sort, Sir, might the Answerer have dealt with me, supposing he would have been s●…vere, and taken notice that he was acquainted with me; but suppose, Sir, that his Information fails him, and that the person he writes against, may ●…ither be of the House of Commons, one of the Lifeguard, a Build●…r of Ships, or a High Constable; then let me tell him, that if I be one of all those (which I am, for aught he does know, or ever shall know) that he has lost almost all the eighty first page, and abundance more up and down his Book: for wherea●… he there advis●…s me to get a Licence to be Univ●…rsity Preacher, to set up a running Lecture, to call togeth●…r the neighbouring Ministers, to learn them to preach without Preface, Division, Inferences, or the like; it had been altog●…ther as proper for him (unless he had known me better) to bid me cock my Gun, prime my Pan, face about to the right, or to have set me to any other employment, till he had been more sure, where I dwelled, or how I spent my time: for why should any trouble themselves to inquire after me, for I am very well, thank God, and wish all mankind so. But I know it is the humour of the Answer●…r, and some few more, to believe things to be true or false, according to the Author's age, bulk, profession, complexion, and County. Such a thing, says one, is as plain, and evident as may be, if the Auth●…r lives at London; but if at York; in my opinion he is somewhat obscure; and remove him but to Durham, and he is the greatest liar in the world, next unto the huge one himself. Yes truly, says another, that may possibly be; nay, I can scarce see how it can be o●…herwise, if he were not so very fat and ancien●…; and for aught any body knows, the Author is as thin as a Wafer, and never did as yet see fifty.  
But as I said before, Sir, I am quite tired, and have nothing more to say to the Answerer, but only to let him know, That had it not been for the sake of that little, which is now to follow, I had been so rude and unmannerly to him, and so very kind to myself, as not to have taken any notice of what he had written. And indeed, before I go any further, I must solemnly beg pardon of every one that hath r●…ad his Answ●…r, for seeming so far to suspect the●…ir Judgements, as to go about to point and direct ●…o mistakes, th●…t lie so thick and obvious; and having obtained that, Sir, I hope also, that where yourself, or any other Reader, shall find yourselves very much grieved, with the trifling and small entertainment which this second Letter only affords, that you will at●…ribute some part of it to the slenderness of that ●…uff, which the Answerer gave me to deal wi●…h, as well as to my great indiscretion in undertaking it. And so farewell Ans●…erer for this year, and all that shall follow.  
An●… thus, Sir, I hav●… bri●…fly 〈◊〉, that as it was altogether against my design, to bring any of the Clergy into contempt, so I have said nothing, nor after such a manner, as should by any Reasons be concluded to do the same; but if there be any so weak, and so regardless a●… to mistake me; they are either some of the giddy and soft-headed non-Conformists, or some of the idle and inconsiderable Laity.  
As for the first, Who think themselves the only Saints of the Ag●…, and to be now in chains for Christ, and his cause: Let me tell them, that they have no reason at all to rejoice at my first Letter, b●…cause they there find, that such is the imprudence or unhappiness of some of the Clergy, as sometimes to occasion their own contempt. For, if they please to examine again what is there written, they will then perceive their dear Brethren to be as much concerned as any body else, and to have as great a share in those Instances that are produced out of idle Sermons: But I did not set them out by themselves upon two a●…counts; First, because till they do conform, care is taken by Authority, that they may not publicly render the Ministry contemptible by their ridiculous Preaching. And in the next place, b●…cause all their fooleries, idlenesses, ●…nd insignificant canting are so peculiarly and faithfully set ●…orth in the forementioned Friendly debates, that I could scarce think of any thing that could be added; but, because those Reasons I find were not sufficient, and that I hear that some of them say, It is now very plain, how the world is altered, and what lamentable preaching and trifling there is, now they are silenced: therefore, because I would not have them too much spoilt and exalted, in thinking themselves the only poor remain of people, that can dispense the word profitably, and speak sense, rhetoric and godliness; they may please to believe it, that if I had thought they would have been so mistaken, I could have found out as many follies and extravagancies, in one day's time, out of their Sermons and Discourses, as in a week any where else. To tell stories, you know, Sir, is endless and tedious; but however, for once I must beg l●…ave to be a little troublesome, that what I now said, some body ●…lse may believe besides myself. There is therefore one now amongst them, who is counted one of their most preci●…us suffer●…, a●…d a ●…ost h●…ling instrument; who is so full of idle fancies, metaphors, similitudes, and all such like frothy disparaging stuff; that you may set him almost against twenty of the most imprudent conforming Preachers, that are to be found amongst us. Of his rich vein of wit, I shall only give you one instance; which is upon that of the Psalmist, But his delight is in the Law of the Lord. Where he observes, that every word has its emphasis, and therefore he gins with the first word, BUT, This BUT, says h●…, is full of spiritual Wine; we wil●… broach it, and taste a little then proceed. He had better have said, it was full of spiritual cakes, or precious stones: for this But will hold no more Wine than a N●…t or a Sieve; and one had as good go about to broach one of them, as this But: or if he would have made the thing credible, he should have said, that this But is a Hogshead full of spiritual wine; (as one did that repeated it out of the Author) than you know, Sir, it is as plain and possible as may be, and we might have broached presently: but of all things, I should have been most pleased, if for once he would have spoken in Latin, and told us, that this sed or verum enim 〈◊〉, is ●…ull of spiritual wine; for then the wit would have been more admired for lying a great way off. I suppose I need not go on, Sir; you cannot but be sufficiently satisfied concerning the great stretch of his fancy. I might also, Sir, seeing that we have set him abroach (as he will have it) give you just a taste of his Metaphorical faculty. What think you of a Chest or Cupboard of truth? or of the Rainbow of Justice? Mercy turns Justice into a Rain bow; the Rainbow is a Bow indeed, but hath no Arrow in it. Here the Author was double happy; Metaphor and Wit into the bargain: Or what think you of sweeping the Walks of the heart; or of Prayer being a spiritual Le●…h▪ and of throwing in the angle of Prayer, and fishing for mercy? Or la●…ly, What think you of Gods laying the soul a whitening? Do you not think, Sir, that it would very much alter the countenance of the Wash-maid, to find two or three large souls bleaching amongst her linen? But to speak the truth of it, the peculiar knack, gift and glory of this Gentleman, consist chief in making of likenesses; in which he is so lucky, and transcendently accomplished, that in a small Treatise of his, called a Christian on the Mount; in a very short time, I found Meditation to be like almost a hundred several things.  
In the first place, Meditation is like a withdrawing-Room; we are very well satisfied, if he will not carry us much further: then he calls us out to victuals, and after that▪ Meditation is like chewing of the Cud: how we must walk abroad, and Meditation is like climbing up into a tree; but if that be not high enough, it is like a Mount or a Tower high: but if we have got any strain with climbing, Meditation is like going into a Bath: and if after bathing we grow hungry again, and faint, Meditation is the palate by which we feed; and immediately after, it is like Israel's ●…ating of Manna: and five lines after, like a Cordial to be drunk do●…n: So that in a very little compass, Meditation is climbing, bathing, tasting, eating, drinking and chewing the cud. Within two or three pages after, the Christian is to take the Air again, and to be mounted, but not so high as before, but upon a fiery Steed; and then Meditation is the Christian's curbing bit: and I know not well how it comes about, but it is also like a powerful Loadstone; and for all th●…t, the next line, t is like a cork to a Net. And soon after, like distilling of Waters, and like beating of Incense; but now we go far and deep, and Meditation is like digging spiritual gold out of the Mine of the Promises; but we soon come above ground again for a little while, and Meditation is like digging about the roots of a Tree: but down again presently, for M●…ditation is like digging in the Mine of Ordinances. We had not been in this Mine as yet, we had only digged in the Mine of the Promises before: but I am afraid, Sir, you will say you have enough, if not, we go on. And Meditation is like the s●…lvidge, which keeps the cloth from ravelling; or like a hammer that drives the nail to the head; or like rubbing a man in a swoon; or like a Bee sucking out of the flower of truth preached, and working it in the hive of the heart. Furthermore, Meditation is the ballast of the heart, the bello●…s of the affections, and the H●…n that hatcheth good affections; and like the sails of the Ship, notwithstanding that it was like the ballast just now: but I suppose the Auth●…r does not mean the same Ship he meant before, but some other. But suffer me I pray, Sir, t●… put these 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 more into th●… Press as an 〈◊〉 of hi●… sai●…s in , like oil to the Lamp, like a Gun full of powder, (but prayer without faith, is like a Gun discharged without a bullet) like wet tinder, like a whip, like a prospeciive glass, a golden ladder, a d●…ve, a touchstone, a spiritual Index. It was just now the oil, but he holds not long in the same mind, ●…or now it is the lamp itself, that is to be fed with the oy●…e of reading; but then join it with examination, and it is like the Sun on the Dial. And lastly, join it with practice, and it is like a pair of Compasses.  
And now, Sir, am I not as good as my word; have I not shown you a man, that is very fruitful and pr●…cious? Is it pos●…ible to be weary, where there is such variety of fancy? He gins with you at home, then calls you abroad, brings you back again, then out at Sea, th●…n for the Indies, carrying you into Mines, several Mines, Promise-mines, and Ordinance-mines; this must needs be melting and dissolving. And I q●…estion not, as this Gentleman leads us through a great part of 〈◊〉 and natural Philosophy, so, had h●… thought of it, and been but at a little more l●…isure, his fa●…cy c●…uld have made M●…ditation like all the Animals in 〈◊〉, and all the Pl●…nts in Gerrard; for some small reason, or pretty report or other: For when his hand was in, what had it b●…en for him to have said, that Meditation is like an Ostrich, a Pheasant cock, or a Robin-red-breast; or like a Whale, a Pike, or a Gudgeon; for I do not at all doubt but that a very small Inventor, may d●…vise as good a reason for all those likenesses, as he that said, that faith was like a Flounder, that laid a Christian flat upon the Promises.  
After him comes another Bartholomew Gentleman, with a huge hamper of Promises; and he falls a trading with his Promises, and applying of Promises, and resting upon Pr●…mises, that we can hear of nothing but Promises: which trade of Promises he so engrossed to himself, and those of his own Congregation, that in the late times he would not so much as let his near Kinsmen, the Presbyterians, to have any dealing with the Promises: And to forward this trade of Promises, the poor deceived creatures must be lately abused with a new sort of Concordance, by V P. consisting of Commands, Threaten and Promises; and besides, lest people sh●…uld take hold of, and apply a curse instead of a blessing, and a threatening instead of a promise, they are all set forth with their particular marks: so that now I suppose, the trade of promises will suddenly hereupon be much amended, and grow strangely quick and lively. And to be short (because this Gentleman has been sufficiently taken notice of by a late worthy Author) except it be idle preaching about experiences, dispensations, manifestations, discoveries, improvements, pledges, privileges and p●…erogatives; outgoings, ingoing and returns, and such like senseless, insignificant, canting words and phrases; there is scarce any thing to be ●…ound in him, or any of those that are admirers of his way.  
And, as this so much admired one, has a peculiar trade in promises, so others there be, who are very much for trafficking with Christ: And in the late times, we may remember what a subtle trade was driven this way, and what a perfect merchandise they made of Christ; and what abundance of eminent holder's forth of Christ, and his Cause, were sent into the Country to sell Christ for spoons, bodkins and thimbles: But amongst all those that were then employed, none ever was found to make so very good a return of Christ as H. P. was observed to do; for he could presently call the people together, and tell them, That he heard at L●…ndon, that they were without Christ, and he came on pu●…pose to bring them Christ, and what a great deal of money he▪ was offered upon the road for Christ, but he was resolv●…d to part with Christ to no body, till the B●…loved that he was preaching to, had had the refusal of him; and if they did intent to trade with him, they must down with their dust instantly; for to his knowledge, th●… Papists did offer a very vast sum of money for England's Christ: and therefore, if they did not make all possible h●…ste to send in their plate and jewels, he would be soon shipped, and carried away to Rome. But may some say, What if cruel Civalier should come, would not then our Christ be in great danger, after all o●…r cost and charges; might not he plunder us of our Chri●…t? No; Cavalier ind●…d is cr●…el, and m●…y get away your 〈◊〉 of 〈◊〉, may get away your Children, m●…y g●… away your Wife, and ●…ay g●…t aw●… your very Bible, and he may com●… also for your Christ, but he cannot get away your Christ; for Christ is yours, and he is Gods; and ther●…fore down with your money. I do not say that all that were sent forth then to repeat the word Christ (for that was then, and is still by many called preaching of Christ) did carry along with th●…m such knavish intentions; but sure I am, that the vain repetition of such good words, is still too often that which the Nonconformists call powerful preaching, when as th●…re is nothing at all that is meant by themselves, or can be und●…rstood by their Hearers▪ And this made Bishop Taylor say in his Epistle to the Reader before his short Cat●…chism, That a plain C●…techism d●…th more instruct a soul, than a wh●…le days pr●…e which some daily spit f●…rth, to bid men get Christ, and persecute ●…is servants; for he was very well ware, that these gr●…at Zeal●…ts, that talk so much of Christ and his Interest, w●…re as forward to cheat, steal, or co●…mit any villainies, as those that had never hea●…d of Christ, or the Doctrine that he preached. And ind●…d, I had now taken but very little notice o●… what was then done amongst th●…m, i●… that idle, empty and insi●…nificant pre●…ching had ceased with the ti●…s; bu●… still I find p●…ople so studious to deceive, and so willing to be dec●…ived, that such pr●…ttle, amongst many, still bears the name of the only saving, powerful and edifying preaching. And indeed, though I will not accuse every one of that party, that now stand separated from us, of the utmost extravagancies of these folli●…s; yet I am very certain, that the greatest part, or at least the most famous and 〈◊〉 amongst th●…m are so gener●…lly addicted to c●…nting, insignific●…nt phrases and tedious tautologies; that should we compare their continual religious nonsense, with the indiscretions of the C●…nformists, these, would app●…ar tolerably sober and wary Rhetoricians.  
And this is so plain from what has been already mentioned, that very little need to be said further; but only it happens that I have now by me, a Book called, Apples of gold for young men & young women; a Book so famous amongst them, that it has to my knowledge deceived the World to no less than eight Editions: and yet when we look into it (notwithstanding the subject is very large and profitable) we shall there find little besides Christ, the Soul, Conscience, Eaith▪ ●…nd such like very good words, over and over repeated to very small purpose, and as often ushered in with an engaging, and crying introduction of, Ah! young men, young men; and sometimes, Ah! young men and women. It is all one, Sir, where you open the Book, his Rhetorical humour is so very much the same. Ah! (says he, p. 181.) young men, young men, if you must needs be leaning▪ than lean upon precious pr●…mises, lean upon the rock that is higher than yourselves, lean upon the Lord Jesus Christ, as John did; John leaned much,▪ Joh. 21. 20.) and Christ loved him much. Ah! lean upon Christ's wisdom, lean upon his power, lean upon his purse lean upon his eye lean upon his righteousness, lean upon his blood, lean upon hi●… merit. Now, Sir, we well understand, and know the meaning of Chr●…sts Wisdom, Power, Righteo●…sness, and the like: but to make a huge clattering of Christ, and a long empty tattle of leaning, and to make people sigh and cry by mere repetition of Scripture words, when perhaps there is little 〈◊〉 sign of sense, than shaking of the head, and wring of hands, h●…ve much more in it of popular deceit, than popul●…r R●…etorick: but having set out with the word lean, for the fine fig●…rative noise, and easiness together, that is to b●… con●…inued as long as lungs can hold, never minding ●…o what it is joined, or how it is appli●…d▪ And whence do you think, Sir, cam●… al●… this idle rant about leaning? only from John's being plac●…d next to our Saviour at Supper, and laying his head or elbow in his bosom; therefore, young men, if they would be leaning, they must run their heads into our Saviour's purse, and put their elbows into his eyes. And from this place of Scripture alone arise all th●…ir insignificant canting, about a believ●…rs l●…ning and rolling upon Christ, it being no where else mentioned in the whole N●…w Test●…ment; but only where it is said, that Jacob leaned upon the top of his staff. And as he h●…re runs away with the word le●…ning; so the very same method he uses ●…or any thing else, that he shall happen upon. It is said you ●…now, Sir, Mal. 1. 14. Cursed be the deceiver which hath in ●…is flock a male, and yet off●…reth to the L●…rd a corrupt thing. Upon which 〈◊〉 ●…ollow; Ah! young men and women (who are like the Almond-tree) you have man●… males in your flock, your strength is a male in the flock your tim●… is a male in the flock▪ y●…ur parts are a male in the flock, and your gifts are he male in the flock, etc. And whereas here he mentions only strength and parts in general, as b●…ing males in the flock; yet if his breath would have lasted, he could have made every finger and toe that a young man has, to be a male in the flock; and I wonder how he missed judgement, memory, fancy, and the five senses; for these doubtless are all males in the flock, if he had not forgot ●…hem. And this is that in which chief consist the power and edifyingn●…ss (as they call it) of th●…ir preaching, and by which they think themselves so far to excel the instructions of the conformable Ministers; as if these could not say the word Christ as often in an hour, as the most powerful and edifying of them; and I wonder where lies the mystery and great difficulty of this gifted sort of Rhetoric. I am discoursing suppose about the pardon of sin, and I bring in that of the Psalmist, Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, etc. Upon whi●…h occasion I exert my gifts, and pour forth thus. It is not, blessed is the hon●…able man, but blessed is the pardoned man; it is n●…t blessed is the rich man, but bless●…d is the p●…rdon▪ d man; it is n●…t blessed is the learned man, but blessed is the pardoned man; it is not blessed is the politic man, but blessed is the pardoned man▪ it is not blessed is the victorious man, but blessed is the pardoned man. Or I am preaching suppose about remembering the Creator in the days of our youth; and I gush forth after this manner: Ah▪ that young men and women would but in the morning of their youth seek, yea, seek early, seek ●…arnestly, seek affèctionately, seek diligently, seek primarily, seek unweariedly, this God, who is the greatest good, the best good, the most desirable good; who is a suitable good, a pure good, a satisfying good, a total good, and an eternal good. Now, may not a Conformist, though of an ordinary invention, and not endued with the sublimest giftednesses of our Separatists, say, seek, seek, seek, seek, etc. or good, good, good, good, etc. I am very serious Sir, and you know it; and I wish those that I am now speaking of, would think so too, and lay aside their groundless pretences to gifts, and preach like men and Christians: for I bless Almighty God, I love all the World, and wish that all men were wise to the salvation of themselv●…s and others. And notwithstanding, that many of them are so ●…orward to boast of th●…ir spiritual attainments and improvements, and will ●…ell you, How often they have sweat at prayer, and how long they frequented Ordinances, and what abundance of days they kept, and time they spent, in applying of promises, and r●…gistring experiences, before they could arrive to this converting and heart-dissolving preaching: but yet for all that, it savours so much of the natural man, that I question not at all, but that the very glory, and heart-breakingness of it (which chief consist in an endless repetition of the same words) may be easily acquired by a Lad of sixteen years of age in a Month's time. To make, Sir, this plain, I'll give you but one instance of very high improvements in this kind; it is upon this particular, viz. An old Disciple, an old Christian is rich in spiritual experiences. Whereupon he thus proceeds: O the experiences that an old Christian hath of the ways of God, of the workings of God, of the word of God, of the love of God O the divine stories that old Christians can tell of the power of the Word, of the sweetness of the Word, of the usefulness of the Word! O the stories that he can tell you concerning the love of Christ, the blood of Christ▪ the offices of Christ▪ the merits of Christ, the righteousn●…ss, the graces of Christ, and the ●…nfluence of Christ! O the stories th●…t an old Disciple can tell you of the indwellings of the Spirit, of the operations of the Spirit, of the teachings of the Spirit, of the sealings of the Spirit, of the witnessings of the Spirit, and of the comforts and joys of the Spirit! O the stories that an old Christian can tell you, of the evil of sin, of the bitterness of sin, the deceitfulness of sin, the prevalency of sin, and the happiness of the conquest over sin! O the stories that he can tell you, of the snares of Satan, the devices of Satan, the temptations of Satan, the rage of Satan, the malice of Satan, the watchfulness of Satan, and the ways of triumphing over Satan! These you see, Sir, are stories which an old Christian, an old Disciple can tell you. But do you not think, that one may procure a very young Christian, such as I before mentioned, who by the help of two or three Systemes, and a little skill in Indices, should be able to ●…ell you as many divine stories as these, and a hundred more, if it should be convenien●…▪ may not he in a small time learn to begin with divin●… stories of God, the Scriptur●…s, Christ the holy Ghost, of sin, of Sa●… and m●…y he not improve in the use of his Systeme, and in time venture to turn on, and t●…ll you divine stories of the Coven●…nt of Grace, of the Sacraments, of the five Points, of the ten Commandments, or of any thing else, with very great eas●…, according as he thinks to continue his divi●…e stories.  
I suppose, Sir, it were needless to go about to satisfy you further, that this gifted sort of preaching, that pretends more than ordinary to come from above, has as little in it of difficulty or miracle, as of profit. I cannot, I must confess, imagine wherein the powerfulness and inspiration of that gloss consisted, that is made by one of this party that I am now speaking of, concerning going out of ourselves, and saying, come Lord, return, O Lord; not return, O my trade return; O return, O our Ships return; n●…t return; O our peace return; but return, O Lord, return, O Lord. Nor of that which was made by another upon those words: The fear of the Lord is clean; clean within, and clean without; clean above, and clean below; clean on the left hand, and clean on the right; clean on this side, clean on that; clean at home, and clean abroad. Now am I as sure as can be, that some of these people will presently cry out, and say, that I am against the fear of the Lord, and against Christ and his interest; and that I am against all soul-softning means, and all soul-melting means. And (as it is in the forementioned Apples of Gold) I am a discourager of all that is God-ward, of all that is Christ-ward, heaven-ward, and holiness-ward; and that I am for soul-hardning company soul-hardning principles, and soul-hardning examples, and f●…r suffering of people to go on in delusions that are Christ▪ dethroning, and Conscience-wasting, and soul-undoing opportunities. If they do, I cannot help it; but however, I bless Almighty God, that I was born of Christian Parents, and that I was brought up in the Christian faith; and I hope that (by the Divine assistance) I shall continue in the same, and in well-doing to my lives end. And whatever opinion they may have of me, I know not; but notwithstanding, I do most hearty wish, that such as have spent their time in reading of Books and Sermons about exp●…riences, getting of Christ, and the like, would change them all away for the whole Duty of Man, that abounds with very pious and intelligible rules of godly living, and useful knowledge tending to salvation.  
And I do wish furthermore, that such of the Nonconforming Clergy that are of this humour, way and stile; that they would advise, or suffer, at least, such as are now, or have been heretofore their Hearers and Admirers, to read some other Books besides their own, and hear some other men Preach besides themselves: For, as it has been already made out, that the way of their discourses is not so much above humane industry and invention, as that it should require any more extraordinary assistances, or more peculiar illuminations, than the Conformists may have just reason to pretend to: So, in good truth, as confident as they are of the heavenliness and convertingness (as they call it) of their method and expressions, they have very little grounds or good Authority for that manner they proceed in. For, suppose, they should be so full of themselves, and their own endowments, as not to attend to the examples of the first famous Christians, Saints, and primitive Fathers, nor to the Rules of the best and most judicious Orators; yet if they will be either guided and persuaded by what our Saviour preached himself, or by those directions which he gave to his Disciples for so doing; they will find very little encouragement either to dote upon, and admire only their own proceed, or so severely to censure & undervalue those that show not all willingness to▪ be deceived by them. And in the first place, we are plainly instructed, as to what our Saviour himself spoke, taught or preached; as well as after what mann●…r he expressed his ●…eaning. We very well remember what he said to the young man, that enquired how he should attain eternal life. He did not say, Get me, get fast hold of me, get your arms full of me; but keep the Commandments, and give away your estate; which last in those times was necessary▪ for such as intended to be Disciples of Christ. In like manner, when the Publicans and Soldiers came to John Baptist, Christ's forerunner, to know what th●…y should do; he did not bid them, Take hold of him▪ fasten upon him, and put their arms round about him; but bad the first of them (whose employment might tempt th●…m to cheating▪ and bribery) exact no more than what the Emperor demanded: and bade the others, be contented with their wages or pay; and not do vi●…lence, p●…under or steal. And it was well, that it was Christ himself and his great Preache●… that said this, or else by chance (amongst these lofty Teachers) this might have gone for gross, carnal reasoning▪ and for such dull moral instructions as Alexander or Caesar themselves, that never believed any thing of Christ, might have given to their Collectors and Armies. By these places and the like, Sir▪ it is very easy to perceive after what manner our Saviour taught and preached; for whatever he spoke was pre●…ching, although what he said upon the M●…unt (being a more continued discours●…) was more particularly called his Sermon: So that thus ●…ar we see, that whilst Christ preached Christ, that is himself and his Doctrine; here's not a word of getting of Christ, or getting into Christ, or getting a share, a stock, an interest in Christ, or any such like staring, and insignificant expressions. In the next place, let us see wh●…t order and instructions he gave to his Disciples about their preaching. St. Mark tells us, Mark 16 15. That he bade them go into the w●…rld and preach the Gospel, etc. St. Matthew tell us, Mat. 28. 19, 20. he bade them, Go and teach all Nations, baptising them, etc. and teaching them to observe all things whatsoever he had commande●… them. Now, Sir, if there can be ●…ny other meaning of these last words, than that (after people were baptised, or admitted into Christianity) the Disciples should spend their time in teaching and explaining such things as Christ himself had taught or preached to them, which were not such riddles, charms and tickling stuff, as these people too often put upon their Hearers, than (if his Majesty will please to give me leave) I will promise never to come at any Church again, so long as I can find out the least creeping Conventicle: So that if these people will be either content to preach no loftier, than our Saviour did himself, or as he appointed his Disciples to do, I am sure they must not preach as they do now, unless they have got some secret reserve of Gospels for their own peculiar use; or have received some new instructions and orders, since our Saviour was taken up; for in all the Gospels which we are acquainted withal, we can find nothing else but that Christ was The Christ; and that God for the future would be worshipped after the manner therein declared. And he that preaches this, viz. what Christ did and suffered, and what he spoke, preaches Christ, or his G●…spel, or him crucified, or him and the resurrection, or the Kingdom of God, or remission of si●…s, or the new Covenant, or grace and mercy through Christ; all which and many more signify the same, and not he that thunders out Christ a thousand times in a Sermon; saying, Ah! none but Christ, none but Christ. Ah! none to Christ, none to Christ; no works to Christ's, no duties, no services to Christ's; no prayers, no tears to Christ's; no righteousness, no holiness to Christ's; lay out for Christ, make sure of Christ, close with Christ, cleave to Christ, unite with Christ, rest, lean, roll, toss, tumble and wallow upon Christ. There is mention made (you know, Sir) Mat. 28▪ 20. of Christ's being with the Apostles to the end of the world; which related to the divine assistance of the holy Ghost, which they and their successors should have towards the propagating and continuing Christian Religion in the world: but these people are for receiving Love-letters from Christ, they are for strange intercourses, corr●…spondencies, returns, expresses, and I know not what. And, if it had not pleased God to have abated some of those extravagancies, by restoring our Church, in time we should have come to heavenly Proclamations and ●…eavenly Gazettes. And I well remember there was one amongst them, that pretended to have got such an int●…st in Christ, and such exact knowledge of affairs above, that he could tell the People, That he had just before received an express from Christ Jesus concerning such a business, and that the ink was scarce dry upon the paper: At other times he would sink hims●…lf in the Pulpit, and tell the people, he would be with them again presently, he would only speak one word with Christ; and so pretending to have talked with Christ, he would come up again soon after, as full of Christ, and his advice, as might be. And to conclude this, Sir, how many hundred & hundred times have you heard that place in the Colossians, viz. Christ is all in all, brought in at the close of any thing that went before, only because it is melting, and may produce sigh or groan; for, if they would but consider of the Bible, as well as get by heart words and phrases out of it, they might then have taken notice of those many heavenly exhortations, contained in the same Chapter to the Co●…ssians, of living more péaceably, godlily and righteously than they had done, before they were converted to the Christian Faith; and in particular, that they should be 〈◊〉 as kind, just and faithful to every man 〈◊〉 they had to deal withal (let him be Greek or Jew, Barbarian or Seythian) as they us●… to be, or should be, to their own Neighbo●…rs and Citizens; for that now, Christ was 〈◊〉 all, having taken away all distinctions, and made of all mankind one people. It is not, Sir, my intent here to comment upon Scripture; but I would to God, that these people that talk so much, and so endlessly the word Christ, would spend more time in explaining his Doctrine; if they did, I am sure the world would not only be much wiser, but more peaceable and bett●…r.  
And as I would not have these people count themselves the only godly and saving Instructors, by abundant saying over new T●…stament words; so it is a very idle thing ●…or them to endeavour to have their preaching believed more sanctified and searching, because they talk often-ti●…es concerning the Bible, giving only empty and lose commendations of the Scriptures in general. There are (thanks be to God) a great many Bibles in this Nation; and though the Conformists do not possibly ●…y one in every window, yet th●…ir Houses need not be supposed to be without the Scriptures, nor themselves without the knowledge and use of them. And what if whilst they are in the Pulpit, with finger thrusted into the middle of the Book, they do not brandish it up and down, as if they would discharge the whole of it together at some body's head? What if they do not hold it forth with stretched out arm and voice; and cry aloud, This is the Book, this is the Book; here it is, here it is; no Book like this Book, no word like this word, no writing like this writing, no reading like reading here, no searching like searching here, no considering like considering here; Christ is here, Jesus Christ is here, the Lord Christ is here, the precious Promises are here. Yes doubtless (if it be a Bible) they are all there; and so is Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, and all the rest. But what is any body the better for this? Who will read, search or consider one word the more for this empty amazing noise; or for such as that, which I find also in one of them: Search the Scripture, study the Scripture, dwell on the Scripture, delight in the Scripture, treasure up the Scripture; no wisdom to Scripture wisdom, no knowledge to Scripture knowledge, no experience to Scripture e●…perience, no comforts to Scripture comforts, no delights to Scripture delights, no convictions to Scripture convictions, no conversion to Scripture conversion. Let them show us any where in Scripture (notwithstanding their extraordinary skill therein) where any thing is advised or commanded after this slothful and slighty way. If they be for elegant composure of long periods, let them observe after what manner the Acts of the Apostles are recorded; if they be for shorter sentences, let them examine other parts of the holy Scriptures; and if they would attempt to prophesy, let them read the Prophets, and let them attend to that copious invention, as well as loftiness of expression that is contained in them. Surely if they were not charmed with laziness, their own conceits, and a contempt of all that are not in their way and phrase, they would judge it better, to explain to the people the principles of Christian Religion, and to give some sober directions of living well, and persuasive reasons to begin a good life, and proceed in the same, than to think that time only sanctimoniously laid out, that is spent, in crying Here, here; look, look; See, see; whereas there is nothing to be se●…n, but the outside of th●… Book, nor any thing to be heard but a long string of words to the same purpos●…; and y●…t this alone must be called flashing, holy violence, pressing upon, and breaking into the so●…l; ●…nd all other sober, 〈◊〉, and well examined instructions, earthly and ●…eathenish.  
Not less i●…le and extravagant is that humour of theirs, of loading their Sermons with abundance of Scripture, where it is p●…rfectly needless, and altogether impertinent. How far the true knowledge of one place depends upon others, the rest of the world, that do not boast so much of Scripture, do very well understand; but to heap on Scripture after Scripture to no purpose at all, but to make their followers Bibles stare again with turned down proofs, and the strings and clasps to gr●…an, with being overcharged with doubled leaves, is much too small a foundation ●…or them to call or think themselves the only true dispens●…rs of the Word of God. And that wherein th●… excell●…ncy of th●…se men's humour may be pl●…inly p●…rceived, is this, That the less th●… 〈◊〉ed Scrip●…re be really for th●…ir de●… (〈◊〉 it do●…s but sound a little towards their meaning) the more it is admired, this arguing long searching, and experimental skill in the Bible, and a more hidden and well digested art of applying of S●…ripture. I have a Book, Sir, that teaches me how it is to be done upon that of St. Matthew; Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God▪ Now, Sir, to bring in all those places of the Bible where the word pure is, may be done by a Scriptureless Divine of ordinary Concordance-parts; but to stuff in plenty of Scripture occasionally, unexpectedly and wonderfully, is a peculiar privilege, and perfection of the godly. The Doctrine therefore must be this, That the Saints of God are pure Saints; nothing that is ●…mpure can see God, nothing that is impure can come to God; for he that cometh to God, must believe that he is, & that he is a rewarder of th●…m that dilig●…ntly seek him, Heb. 11. 6. And again, Judas ver. 4. Behold the Lord cometh with ten thousand— What? not unbelievers, b●…t Saints, pure Saints: An unbeliever must not expect to be one of those ten thousand, he must not look to be one of that number; for he that expects to be one of that number, must so number his days, that he may apply his heart unto wisdom, Psal. 90. 12. he must be car●…ful ●…f his time, count up his time, and think upon every day; but especially the great day, the day of Judgement. For as the Psalmist has it, To day if you will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provo●…ation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness. And so, Sir, you may go on, with hear, voice, harden, heart; which you please: And this serves instead of telling you, what is meant by purity of heart, and what conversation fits a man for the vision and fruition of God.  
And thus much I thought seasonable at present, to be said conc●…rning the preaching of the Nonconformists; wherein I would not willingly be so mistaken, as to be thought to charge every one of them with that ●…olly and frothiness that is above men●…ion'd: for I must acknowledge, that I know several o●… them to be modest, serious and learned. But withal, I also know, that the small inconsiderable triflers, the coiners of new phrases, and drawers out of long godly words, the thick pourers out of Texts of Scripture, the minical squeakers and bellowers, and the vain-glorio●…s admirers only of themselves, and those of their own fashioned face and gesture: I know, I say, that such as these shall with all possible zeal be followed and worshipped, shall have their bushels of China Oranges, shall be solaced with all imaginable Cordi●…ls, Essences and Elixirs, and shall be rubb'●… down with Holland of ten shillings an Ell; when as others of that party, much more sober and judicious, that ●…an speak sense, and understand the 〈◊〉, but less confident and less censor●…ous▪ shall scar●… be invited to the fire side, or be presen●…ed with a couple of pippins, or a glass of small beer with br●…wn sugar.  
And as these People that are thus highly treated, have no reason to presume upon their parts, improvements, and extraordinary inspirations, because they can utter forth abundance of Scripture words, of very good concern and signification; if they were soberly applied: So in like manner, it were very well if they would not altogether judge of the blessedness of their endeavours by the tumult running: after them, or because they find by experienc●… that they can force from people tears and sighs, and such outward signs of the hearts seeming to be affected: for all this, and much more may questionless be done▪ without either sense, oratory or Religion; long sentences (such as before mentioned) rattled forth as fast and furiously as may be, with Christ, Scripture, or the Soul, every line; together with hands, shoulders and head devotionally managed, may be easily conceived to make weak and silly people gaze more, wet more, and wipe oftener, than any thing that our Saviour himself, or any of his Apostles ever said. And this I know to be certainly true, because I have often seen people placed so far from the Minister, that they could only see him make very much concerned faces, and show often the heavenly part of the eye; and might suppose, by the great pains he took, that he was about business of very great weight and moment; and perhaps now and then one single melting word loudly pronounced might come down, and no more; and yet such as these weepingly inclined, should be as full of all outward expression of devotion, as if they were just then to be converted: and therefore I would not have them delude themselves, and think that their Hearers weep at their pressing Religion more home, and searching the heart more throughly than others; but at the noise, the tone, and fierce repetition of words, And I think I am not at all uncharitable, if I say, that many poor undiscerning people having ofttimes so little ground for being zealously moved, are as perfectly deceived as ever any body was, that took Sir Martin Mar-all's wide gaping, for melodious singing. And it is doubtless as easy a matter to make people cry and sob again, without doing them the least good, as it is to make a Dottril stretch, or them yawn without helping them towards heaven.  
I have but one thing more to beg of these People; and that is, That they would not only cease to call their preaching alon●… spiritual, illuminating, and I know not what; but also that they would not think that they can, or ever did pray by the Spirit: For till I see their children speak Hebrew at four years of age (which some say may come to pass, if they be brought up in a Wood, and suck of a Wolf) and themselves (without studying) all those Languages that are mentioned in the second of the Acts, I shall never believe it; but if they mean, they have several prayers of their own making, differing both in sense and phrase; or that they do not place every wo●…d after the same manner; but sometimes put Eternal before Almighty, sometimes Almighty before Eternal; or that th●…y do not always confess the same number of sins, but sometimes put in adultery and stealing too, sometimes adultery alone; then is this so far from having any thing of th●… Spirit in it (in that sense which they would pretend to) that it is no more ext●…mporary, than that this Morning is read; Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; and to morrow, O be joyful in the Lord all ye Lands: Or that sometimes we pray for rain, or fair weather, sometimes for health o●… peace, according to our necessities; only with this difference, that this is printed, and by Act of Parliament, and what th●…y say, is not. But suppose they come to that dègree of confidence, as to begin at a venture; and having a private method, a ●…ock of Scripture phrases (to be brought in af●…er any manner) with helpful ahs, ●…ms, 〈◊〉, spittings, wiping; and admitting besides rude expressions, improprieties, often repeated transitions (when invention fails) and the like, that they hold out their intended time: nay, furthermore; suppose they seldom or never say the same whole line, placed after the same manner; and that they do not confess that by reason of their solitary lives they are as wanton as the salacious Sparrow, nor pray unto God for syrup of Barberies, nor desire the Lord to give them That same; and that they do not teach God Almighty how to defend the Trinity (as I have heard them do a quarter of an hour together) and how he is to distinguish between numerus numerans, and numerus numeratus; and that the rheum does not fall down oppressingly upon the spirit and lungs, but that they proceed very clearly and smoothly; yet still there need be nothing of such a sort of inspiration, which they mean; for there being so many several words in the world, it is not at all impossible for a man (if he shall so resolve and make it his business) never to speak the same whole sentence in all his life. And as for their saying, that they can plainly perceive a difference between a Prayer that is framed, and one that is suddenly and spiritually poured forth; I am so very unwilling to believe this, that if I do not procure a thin pale-faced Hec. as rank a one as can be got in this Town, that shares his time between swearing and cursing, and he shall be taught a long Prayer, with a confession of all the villainies that have been committed on this side the line since the Flood, and well filled also with such phrases and words as they delight in; and being double caped, and having well learned his tone and gestures, a Meeting of these Spiritdiscerners shall be called: and if this very small Saint thus accomplished (supposing he does not put in sometimes an Oath, instead of, O Lord) does not wet as many Handkerchiefs, and draw ●…orth as deep, and as many groans, as any of their greatest Pre●…enders to illumination, then will I never hear Common-prayer again: for if I could ●…ell where to hear people pray miraculously, it were very imprud●…nt to run after, or listen to frail and mortal compositions.  
And by the way, Sir, I would not have the Papists please themselves too much (as I have heard they have done upon my first Letter) with an opinion of their own prudence and preaching abilities, notwithstanding those imperfections, which I so freely discovered amongst ourselves; for by what I find, by chance, in one of their Sermons, concerning Contrition, I perceive that they can persecute a Metaphor, till it be as ridiculous as people can possibly endure to hear it. It gins thus: The Falcon when he has taken his prey, ●…e desireth no more thereof but the heart, and therewith he is content; so our Lord Jesus, when he had ransomed us out of Hell, he desireth no more but a meek and a contrite ●…eart of us; therefore as the Falconer, ere he will give the heart to his Falcon, first he will cut it, and then take out the blood and wash it: So must thou give thy heart to our Lord; first cut it with the knife of Contrition, and then take out the blood of sin by conf●…ssion, and after wash with satisfaction; and so with the knife of his Passion, cut your hearts and not your clothes, having in mind that the blade of this knife was made of the Spears head and Nails, that his precious Body and Heart was thrilled withal; the haste was made of the holy Tree of the Cross; and the wyrel was made of the Crown of Thorn that was about his Head. Whet this knife on his blessed Body, that so har●… and cruelly was tormented on the Cross; make also the ●…heath of thy knife of the white Skin of our Lord Jesus, that was painted with red bloody wounds; then with the Cords that ●…e was bound to the Pillar, bind this kni●…e to the girdle of thy heart; and I doubt ●…t, be thy heart never so hard, it will begin to break. It is doubtless a very strange heart indeed, that will not suddenly break all in pieces at the noise of such Rhetoric. And whereas it has been observed, that some of our Clergy are sometimes over nice, in taking notice of the mere words that they find in Texts; so these are so accurate as to go to the very Letters. As suppose, Sir, you are to give an Exhortation to Repentance, upon that of St. Matthew; Repent ye, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. You must observe, that Repent is a rich word, wherein every letter exhorts us to our duty: Repent, R. readily; Repent, E. earnestly; Repent, P. presently; Repent, E. effectually; Repent, N. nationally; Repent, T. throughly. Again, Repent roaringly, eagerly, plentifully, heavily, (because o●… h) notably, terribly: And why not, repent rarely, evenly, prettily, elegantly, neatly, tightly? And also, why not, A apple-pasty, B baked it, C cut it, D divided it, E e●…t it, F fought for it, G. got it, etc. I had not time, Sir, to look any further into their way of Preaching; but if I had, I am sure I should have found that they have no reason to despise our Church upon that account; and they cannot but see it themselves, if they do but look over and consider their own infirmities: and I would have them know, that what I said in my former, was not intended to help on their und●…rvaluing us, but our own amendm●…nt.  
And as much mistaken are the Laity of this Nation (which was the next thing I promised to speak of) if there be any of so mean a judgement, and so idly and wickedly bend, as to think that I designed to encourage them in the contempt of our own Clergy; being always so very far from promoting any such d●…sign, that there is no one in the world that ever was more sensible of the groundless and humoursom exceptions and prejudices, which some of those small and inconsiderable people have entertained against our Clergy in general, than myself: into which, Sir, although in my former Letter I did not think it requisite to ●…nquire, by reason the intention of that was only to look into such things, as to some few at least, besides myself, did seem to weaken the 〈◊〉 and service of some of our Clergy; yet in this second, I judged it convenient to separate their foppish and unreasonable objections from such imprud●…cies and misfortunes which I mentioned in my first.  
And in the first place comes rattling home from the Universities the young pert Soph. with his Atoms and Globuli; and as full of defiance and disdain of all Country Parsons, let them be never so learned and prudent, and as confident and magisterial as if he had been Prolocutor at the first Council of Nice. And he wonders very much that they will pretend to be Gown●…en, whereas he cannot see so much as Cartes' principles, nor Gassendus' syntagm●… lying upon the Table; & that they are all so sottish and stupid, as not to sell all their Libraries, and send presently away for a whole Wagon full of new Philosophy. I'll tell you, Sir, says one of these small whifflers, perhaps to a grave sober and judicious Divine, the University is strangely altered since you were there; we are grown strangely inquisitive and ingenious. I pray, Sir, how went the business of motion in your days? we hold it all now to be violent. I hear your old dull friend Aristotle drowned himself, because he could not understand the flux and refl●…x of the Sea; if he were now alive, and good for any thing, we could save his life. I can presently demonstrate to you how it is to be done, if you will but lend me pen and ink, and suppose but the motion of the earth, and two or three more things that I shall tell you. Yes, but for all that, this youth of so much worth, ingenuity, inquisitiveness and demonstration, may be very ignorant, and be very much a Coxcomb, and have so little grounds to contemn so worthy a person, that if th●… Gentleman please to carry him into his study, and show him his Plato, Plutarch, and some other of his Greek Authors, the poor thing perhaps may find as much reason to hang himself, as Aristotle did for disposing himself otherwise; for he never stands to consider, that there be Authors, such as Eu●…lid, Tully, Pl●…tarch, and many others that have been for many Generations of constant fame, and are likely so to continue, when as we find that curiously laid Hypotheses have their periods, and their credit much depend upon the humour of the world; and a Country Divine that is well skilled in those Books (together with such as peculiarly belong to his Profession) may deserve very good respect, and be of great use to the world; although he has not the convenience of every Philosophical News-Book, nor can call every spot in the Moon by its proper name, nor has a Letter sent him of every new Star that peeps into the world. But to proceed, Sir, upon Sunday the searching young Philosopher vouchsafed to go to Church; the Gentleman preaches concerning the Resurrection, and having shown what method his Text directs him to observe, he teaches his people according to the Scriptures, that Christ did certainly rise from the dead, and that the same power is able to raise us also; and (although we shall have been long dead) to call together all the scattered parts of our bodies, and to make of these glorified bodies. Very dull, says the young despiser; upon my word and knowledge very dull: What a good Text was here spoiled, to divide it into this and that, and I know not what, when as it would have gone so easily into corpus and inane; or into the three Cartesian elements? Besides, like an old dull Philosopher, he quite forgot to suppose the motion of the Vortexes, upon which the grand busines●… of the Hypothesis of the Resurrection altogether depends. But this 'tis to trust people with Texts, th●…t cannot tell what to do with them. How many brave opportunities did the Minister lose of bringing in materia subtilis, and materia secundi elementi? If I had been in his place, I could have done it at least eight times; and then he must go and dronishly tell us, that the scattered parts of people that had been long buried and wasted, should upon the sound of the Trump be all summoned together, etc. and never think to tell us, that the body which had been long absorbed in six foot of earth, should break open the cortex of the grave; and freeing itself from the maculating dirt, the flat, the square, and the round particles should be all associated; and combining themselves into a celestial and well concocted mass, should become a shining and fixed Star of glory. After this, Sir, he returns triumphantly to the College, not only very full of the vanquishment of the Minister of the Town, but also throughly confirmed in what he has so often heard, that all Country Parsons, be they who they will, are the strangest and most mean things that belong to the earth. But why so fast dear child? Is it impossible that the word Parson, especially if you put Country before it, should admit of any milder signification? And is it necessary that every man, though of very good worth and knowledge, if once he be settled out of the noise of the Bells, and does not every day see the Schools, should presently grow deaf and blind, lose all his memory and parts, and general ignorance should suddenly surprise him, so soon as he removes his name off the Tables? Perhaps it is but a report; and I do not apprehend but a Gentleman may understand as well at Barnet, as at his Lodgings in Lincolns-Inn-fields; neither does he find any such present decay and wasting of parts, so soon as his Coach gets off the stones; nor such great improvement of himself, when he is coming down Highgate-hill.  
The next despiser of the Clergy is the small Ingenioso or Experimenteer; who having perhaps blown a glass, seen a Paper-mill, or a Bell run; that knows within two houses where the best Chemist in Town dwells; and dined once where one of the Royal Society should have been; and looked another time into the door at Gresham, when the Company was sitting: he comes down with a receipt of a miraculous sort of Gingerbread, with a little pot of double rerfined Jesimy, and a box full of Specifickperfumed Lozenges, and a little licens' dessence of Orange; and he calls the Minister and the chief of the Parish together, and he falls to his i●…genious tricks and operations, and freezes a dish to the stool by the fireside; sets up half a dozen Tobacco-pipes, and then makes them fall into a Mathematical astonishing figure: after this he desires to withdraw, and puts Claret and Beer together, and brings them out unmixed; and then he calls for a glass of water, and with some few words, and a wet finger, makes the glass first to fret and complain, and then the liquor to sparkle and foam; and they must be all fixed and wonder, and he alone must smile, as if he understood the reason. And so he rides up and down the Country, and every Town he comes at with a Maypole, he wonders what the Aristotelean Parson and the People mean, that they do not presently cut it down, and set up such a one as is at Gresham-Colledge, or St. Jame's Park; and to what purpose is it to preac●… to people, and go about to save them, without a Telescope, and a glass for Fleas. And for all this, perhaps this great undervaluer of the Clergy, and admirer of his own ingenuity, can scarce tell the difference between aqua fortis and aqua vitae, or between a pipkin and a crucible, or a furna●…e and a closs-stool. And besides, he forgets to call to mind how many honourable and worthy Clergymen are now members of that Society, (of which he knows no more than merely to prattle) who have given so many and so large testimonies of their ingenuity, as do plainly show, that one that is in Canonical black, may look through as long a glass, and see as far into a Millstone, as he that wears a light Drugget: and it must not be denied, that a great part of what has been as yet, or is likely to be discovered amongst them, must be attributed to the diligence and quick-sightedness of Ecclesiastical persons, as well as others. I know there be a great many, who foreseeing that it is much easier to undervalue and abuse knowledge, than attain to it; if they can but contrive a clearer tale, and charge it upon that Royal, Honourable and Learned Company, they reckon themselves pre●…ently much more ingenious th●…n they that should happen to fi●…d out the Longitude, or a perpetual motion; but let them ●…ast up their stories, and p●…rhaps they may find, that the unordain'd part of that Society, may have rid upon as many pacing saddles, have weighed as many pikes, and are as ready to save the charge of snuffers, as those that are in Orders.  
But still, Sir, there be more contemners behind; for after these follows the young Gentleman, newly entered into the Modes and small ●…ecomplishments of the Town; who admiring himself in his Morning-gown, till about eleven of the clock, than it is time to think of setting the Muff; and if he chance to find out a new knot for fastening it, that day is very ingeniously spent: then he walks three or four turns in his Chamber, to make himself considerable; and looking in the glass, and finding it so to be, (having first turned down a new place onward in Littleton) he stretches forth, and in approbation of his own worth, 〈◊〉 himself down the stairs: then at the gate, it is to be considered, where he shall eat; after that, which of the Houses he shall go to, and if he brings home a little of the Prologue, and learns but two or three of the Player's names, his memory in the evening shall be commended, and his improvements acknowledged. And as for this Gentleman, he having nothing (poor ●…eart) to say against the 〈◊〉, he combs his Peruke at him; and (though the weather be temperate) he walks the room, and sweats very much against him; and by way of objection, now and then propounds three or four steps of a Corant; and if he be so far entered into profane, as to tell him, that he has brought him a new Psalm from London, and then gives him in writing a bawdy Song; he need not be witty again all the time that he stays in the Country.  
But the great destroyers, Sir, are still to come; for next appears the modish, grave, ●…nd well considering Gentleman, that often calls himself to account, and always finds himself full weight and measure, but all the Clergy to be very light and contemptible, for several reasons. And in the first place, he observes, that Divines are a sort of people that mind only the inconsiderable things of this world; they never take notice how this Dukes, or that Lord's livery differ from another; and they will idly suffer many a Nobleman's Coach to pass by, and never consider the thing that is behind, or whether▪ they be Horses or Mares, English or Flanders. Which of them can tell the private passage out of Covent-Garden, into— without ask at the Barber's shop? or where the several Ambassadors lodge; where they dined yesterday, and where they shall dine to morrow? And then for the humour of the Town, alas! Sir, there is not one Divine of forty, that does or ever can understand any thing of it. How hard a matter is it to judge, whether it be best to dine at Speering, or to slide in afterwards; and what time of year and weather is most proper for the outward room, and what for the inward? How much practical Rhetoric is requisite to make a Coaehman fully believe, that he shall have a couple of shillings, and at the same time, resolve to let down the ●…oot, and with a ste●…dy mind walk softly out to a Coffee-house, a little before you come at your Lodgings? Again, what accuracy of palate and breeding is necessary to have a clear apprehension of a mighty and lofty dish; and to do reverence and strict justice to a glass of Florence, Champagne, Frontiniack, Bordeaux, Languedoc, Flascon de vin, vin de Bourgongne▪ vin de Pr●…ssoirage, vin Pare, vin de Parole, and Taffal●…tte; and to begin small Princes with a Loach, and to end the Emperors with a neat's tongue? Be not deceived, Sir, it is not Logic, Metaphysics, Fathers and Councils, and all the rest that ever can exp●…ct to know or do these things, or half of them; besides, if we consider the great rudenesses that are ofttimes by Clergymen committed, in barbarous managing of hat, immoral picking of teeth, uncouth and unfashionable sneezing, clownish pronouncing of words, that should have been gracefully lifped, and rude and flat setting both feet upon the ground, when one should have stood in tittering readiness upon the toe for a congee; when we consider, I say, these and five and fifty thousand things more, we must plainly conclude, that it is only for great headpieces, men of birth and education, of prudence, and a mighty reach, to pretend to honour and reputation; not for poor unobserving Bookmen that go in black. Then, to all this must be added, the vast skill that is required to the tendering a visit, with approved and modish accuracy, that it be done punctually at the critical minute, neither before nor after; that the servant that comes to the door, be duly spoken to, according to the Rule provided in that great affair; that the Gol●…shoes be left in their true and proper place, that the Footboy be expert in observing his tutored distance, that he gives allowance for Summer and Winter, and that he never stands exactly behind, but bearing a respectful point or so, North or South of his Master. Then having got over all these difficulties, and made a suitable address, there is further to be weighed, whether the visit is to be a silent visit, or a speaking one; and if any thing is to be said, whether the visitor is first to open, or to expect till discourse be offered; and when, and in what order the health of the Family is to be enquired into. Lack a day! says one of the accomplished, in what a lamentable condition have I seen a mortal Clergyman, when he has asked for a Son or a Daughter that has been dead a Month; whereas he should have felt out all those things by degrees, and never have run himself into the danger of a stumbling excuse, for not knowing of it before; how will his puling Conscience be put to it, to rap out presently half a dozen swingers to get off cleaverly? But still, Sir, there be many things behind; It is no such easy matter upon my word, to judge how much of the handkerchief shall ha●…g out of the coat pocket, and how to poise it exactly with the Tortoise shell-comb on the other side; and if there be Peruke to be ordered, where is the man of the Church that can tell when it is to be done to Old Simon the King, and when, After the pangs of a desperate Lover. Heavens and Stars! It is such a task to be considerable, and of any moment in the World, that it would almost crack the brains of the most steady Clergyman, but to hear repeated all the accomplishments that are required, to make up a man of worth. But then suppose a Divine of extraordinary parts and quickness, and that has got, I know not whence, so much of our modish blood in his veins, as to apprehend, in some low degree, what makes men for ever blessed, and should arrive to some set forms of being acceptable; how will they make shift for Speeches and Compliments, Passes and Repasses, Parties and Repartees? Put the case, Sir, that a fair Lady, or person of honour, by some chance or other, drops a glove or handkerchief: Where is now, say they, your man in Orders, that can presently snatch it up in an ecstasy, deliver it with bonne grace, and instantly say something suitable to so great and sudden occasion? Nay, furthermore, suppose we should give them some of the grounds and elements of our being immortal, and lay down before them some of those inestimable principles by which we become excellent and admirable in the eyes of men, women and children, and should discover to them some of our several vows to God, Madam; as I am a sinner, Madam; as I hope for mercy, Madam; as I beg your pardon, Madam: As also some of our raptures and heights; as I am a sinner before God and your Ladyship, as I hope to find mercy in heaven, and in your Ladyship's breast; as I desire to commit myself to God, and your ladyship's disposal; as I desire to observe only Moses 's, and your Ladyship's commands. Nay, to all this should we throw in some of our gentile and very helpful words; as, intrigue, harangue, obligation, devotion, altars, shrines, sacrifices, gustos, flambos, contrastos, and Orlando, Ferdinando's: I say, suppose a tenderhearted Gallant, having a little pity and compassion for the low condition and stile of the Clergy, should unbosom and reveal himself after this free and open manner; yet still black is black: for there is so much of native gentility in the just use and nicking of these things, and so much of mystery in the right hum●…ring of a fashionable word, that there is b●…t v●…ry small hopes that any Clergyman should be ever happy or valuable in this life. But still, Sir, we forget the great business of mankind, the writing of Letters: Where is the Divine that can do it, either to Mistress or Friend, as a man that knows the World, the humour of the Town, and that has lived upon, eat, and read men? And suppose we should bestow upon a poor low thinking Black-coat, one of our best forms, such as follows; it is five to one he would commit some Ecclesiastical blunder or other, in setting his name too near, or in the folding or making it up.  
Most bright and transcendental Madam,  
I Presume by the intercession of this course and erroneous Paper, to arrive at your fair and infallible fingers; and to pay th●… utmost tribute of my Devotion at the high Altar of your perfections. The great concern, Madam, of my life now is only to sacrifice the poor remain of it, to your intrigues; and to make all my interests and inclinations to be observant of your Commands, and to do homage at the shrine of your Virtues. Nay, Madam, I am in some curiosity, whether I be above, or on this side heaven's Canopy; for no sooner was I beamed upon by your shining Ladyship, but I seemed presently to be altogether taken up. The delicacies of the Palate are to me grown all insipid; and it is the contemplation, Madam, of your glories alone, in which I can find any satisfying Gusto. In fine, Madam, were there not hopes of seeing once more your Angelical self, and receiving some benediction from the flambos of your eyes, I could presently resolve to commence blindness; and were it not for the Oriental perfumes that come from your breath, it should not be long before I should put a period to my own. Should I, Madam, go about to make an Harangue answerable to all those Jewels that lie from your eyelids to your finger's end; it must be as lofty as Tenariffe, and as long as ●…he Aequinoctial line: and therefore instead of that, I have nothing else but to prostrate at your feet the everlasting disposal of  
MADAM, The most devoted of all y●… Vassals, and the meanest of your Foot-stools.  
Alas! alas! a Clergy man must not expect to write thus; his blood is so low and ●…reeping, that it can never be inflamed to this pitch of passion and expression, with all the lovelinesses in the world. Now, Sir, would it not vex any creature upon earth, to see trifl●…s and feath●…rs, knots of ribbon and ●…inges, visi●…s and devoirs, a few fas●…ionable words and phrases, and a form or two of a 〈◊〉 L●…tter, and v●…ry little besides to undervalue charity and piety, real worth and s●…bstantial knowl●…dge, only bec●…use it is in black, and the name of it is a Divine.  
I have nothing more, Sir, to say to these People, only it would be a delightful thing if any of them upon what I now said, should mistake me as throughly as the Answerer did about Greek and L●…tin, Pr●…faces and Divisions, Patrons and Chaplains; and presently cry out, that I am against all meat and drink, gustos and flambos, altars and sacrifices, feath●…rs and garters, perukes and goloshoes, head and heels, body and soul of the Laity: For I suppose, notwithstanding any thing that I have said, a man may put on a new suit twice a week, eat and drink of the b●…st he can procure, have all his fashionable dr●…ssings, and modish attendants; ●…nd ●…et be modest and discreet, and not think it any vast break and elegance to toss his h●…ad at a Clergi●…-man, because his hair may be 〈◊〉; nor to despise him to dirt, because he is constan●…ly obliged to the same Canoni●…al ●…bit.  
But this last, Sir, that I was just before speaking of, is but a vow to God man, a great looker over his Shoulder; a silent and moderate despis●…r of all Ecclesiastical persons: that only professes by ●…is troth, and as he is a Gentleman and a Sinner, that there is nothing in nature to be found so altogether ignorant of human affairs; and so empty and inconsiderable as a Clergyman: For after him comes the Tearer, and Confounder of all that belongs to Divinity; that troubles not himself to reason out the point; whether a person in Orders, may not possibly understand as much, speak, and write as well; and do as much service in a Nation as others; but to make it all sure, and short, swears at home; that they are all of them a Company of mean and undiscerning people. Now, Sir, what g●…eat Judges these are, and by what measures they proceed; and how likely they are to be very severe discerners of what is worthy, and what is not, may be easily seen by those deadly witty Arts they make use of to disparage that holy Profession: and by which also they would raise themselves the reputation of men of parts, and wit: & the first thing wherein they are so sev●…re ●…nd satirical, is upon th●…ir names and habits. And you m●…y soon see, Sir, the portion of Wit that is amongst some of them, and the smallness of their Objections; when to say, There goes a Black Coat shall be reckoned a very good and sp●…cial fan●…y: or to say, 〈◊〉 to you Parson, or, Good morrow Parson▪ if the word Parson be humoursomly and sturringly pronounced, (as some of th●…m can do it) if well considered, is a very notable abuse. And I'll warrant yo●…, that arch Blade that lucked upon a married Minister, and asked him how Mrs. Parson did; thought himself in little less than a rapture; and it was well, if he did not go presently to bed, and take a dose of Diascordium. B●…t it i●… a Clergyman chance to meet an Old Testament Wit; and that he sets into his tricks and drollings; then he must expect to be called Levite: and that you may not think his fancy to be stinted, sometimes he calls him Tribe, sometimes 〈◊〉, and for variety sake, at other times Numbers. I need not, Sir, go about to commend these; they having been so often approved. But of all the Wags, and ●…ly ones, that thus play upon a Clergyman; he certainly is most dreaded, that calls him Doctor; which if it be spoken with the utmost keenness of intention, which that word may admit of, it goes the deepest into the Bones, of any thing that can be said. I cannot forget (before Sashes and Broad Hats came into fashion) how much I have seen a small Puny Wit delight in himself, and how horribly he has thought to have abused a Divine, only in twisting the Ends of his Girdle, and ask him the price of his Brimmer; but that Fancy is not altogether so considerable now, as it has been in former Ages.  
Another witty way they have of undervaluing this Profession is, that they will not go to Church: as if a man of a very ordinary reach, and fancy, might not stay at home; or if they do go, they'll spend their time in talking, and laughing, when there is no occasion at all for it; nor reason to do it: For as I was concerned in my former, (and also in some part of this) that there should be such Discourses uttered by some, as might tempt people to abuse and slight the Preacher; so am I as much concerned now that there should be such idle, foppish, and extravagant people, that should undervalue the whole Profession of the Clergy at a venture▪ from the hig●…est to the meanest; let their C●…rriage and Behaviour be in all Circumstances grave and unblameable; and let their Sermons be as serious, judicious, learn●…d and profitable, as Pen can write; for although it be to no purpose to deny, that by reason of the unhappy Education of some, the low condition of others, and the wilful Miscarriages of a third sort, many of our Clergy are often slighted and disregarded; yet on the other side, it is a sign of nothing but per●…ect Madness, Ignorance and Stupidity, not to acknowledge that the present Church of England affords as considerable Scholars, and as solid and eloquent Preachers, as are any where to be found, in the whole Christian world. And if these people would but a little examine themselves; and not count every Oath, Curse, abuse of Scripture, and the like, for Wit, Humour, Judgement, and every thing; they would find themselves not so wonderfully over-stocked with Ingenuity and Knowledge, as utterly to despair of receiving from the Pulpit any use●…ul Advice or Information. And I have ofttimes much wondered, that such as make so great pretences to Wit and Accom●…lishments▪ should pitch upon so easy a method of being admired, and valuable in this world; whenas they see that the grounds upon which they endeavour to be so famous, and illustrious, are so presently apprehended, that the low-born Coachmen, Carmen, and Porters are come to as great perfection, as the loftiest of these Speakers. That certainly was a pretty attentive Child, who, as he was lighting himself home upon a Saturday night (after his Work was over) was heard to say over, and sort all the Oaths and Curses that he had learned in the whole Week, from his ingenious and eloquent Masters. And I cannot but approve of the Modesty of that Youngster, who being highly pleased with that excellent Fancy; viz. Son of a Whore; and not happening conveniently of Tapster or Drawer to spend himself first upon, was first to break his mind to an Oyster-woman; and so being once entered, the Youth soon improved; for afterwards, if the Candle burned not clear, or the Pipe had a crack in it, or his Horse stumbled, or Dog or Bitch lay in his way, they were all Sons of Whores. Nay, if a Trial in Westminster-Hall goes not right, the very Case itself was a Son of a Whore Case; and that Purge that gripes, or gives a Stool more than ordinary, is a Son of a Whore Purge. I know, Sir, that these Hussing Despisers of all Black-Coats think they urge very hard for the necessity of their thundering, and terrifying Style; by saying, that the degenerate part of the World, were it not for that, would grow saucy and unmanageable; and the unworthy and mean-spirited Creepers would make no difference between themselves, and the brave bold Commanders of the Age▪ Curse (say they) the Groom, or Ostler three or four times lustily, just before you go to bed, and your Horse will very near cast his Coat, and begin to shine by the Morning; and give a Drawer half a dozen Granades as he goes down the Stairs; and if he be so irreligious, as to bring up any thing, but tru●… Terse, you will for certain shortly hear, that he has murdered his Master, and hanged himself with his own Garters. In short, Sir, were not people quickened to Duty, and Observance, by such brisk and remarkable Expressions, the world must suddenly end; and the very Gentry of the Nation would be as much neglected and disobeyed, as we find the modest and cowardly Clergy now to be. Indeed it is great pity, but that Gentlefolks should be duly reveren●…'d, and attended upon. But I was thinking, Sir, (supposing Swearing and Cursing to be so very necessary to the standing Government and Welfare of a Nation) that a small Instrument (about the stature of Puginello) might possibly be so contrived, with two Rows of Stops, one for Swearing, and another for Cursing, that might upon all occasions express itself with as much Discretion, Propriety, and Elegance, as the very Owner of the little tool should be able to do himself. But then indeed, Sir, as to the extemporary and occasional Wit, that is ost-times shown in abusing the Holy Scriptures; that must never be attempted by such a Gentleman of Wainscot; but must be performed by humane mouth itself; for there is so much of suddenness of apprehension, and experimental skill in the application of Scripture, that is requisite to that business; that to go about to perform it by Holes, Springs, or Wires would be much more difficult and chargeable, than Paradise, or Sands' Wat●…. Works. For suppose, Sir, a Gentleman going to Dinner to— House, and walking throug●… the Narrow Ally, mistakes his way; then, Sir, what Engine, upon the sudden, of Wood, or Pasteboard (but Gentleman himself) could presently say, Strait is the Gate, and narrow is the way, and few there be that find it. Do you see, Sir, how hard it is? There is not such a place again for that occasion, and for that very particular Alley, in all the Bible. Well, Sir, he proceeds, and coming at last to the great House; he knocks at the Gate, and the Porter being not just at hand, then comes out that of the Psalmist, Lift up your heads O ye Gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting Doors, etc. Upon which, the Porter hearing such great Wit, and Divinity, at the Gate; presently runs, and opens; the Gentleman enters, and there finds a Servant sweeping; then comes very properly that of the Prophet concerning the Besom of Destruction: For indeed, what more exactly like the Desolation of Babylon, than the sweeping away a little Dirt out of a Court-yard. After this he walks into the Hall; where he happens upon the Butler and two Jests; Good morrow Pharaoh, s●…ys he, (for you know Sir, Pharaoh had a Butler) where's your Master Pilate? (for you know also, Sir, that our Sa●…iour was carried into the Common-Hall:) where by the way, Sir, you must observe, that a true Wit is as good in the inside of the House, as at the Gate. Dinner time draws nigh; and soon after, the Victuals appear: The Gentleman is desired to sit down: No, he shrugs, and begs pardon; having read, that the first shall be last, and the last shall be first; and then he shrugs again. However at last, Sir, we fall to; and amongst other good things, there is somewhat that requires Mustard; upon that he desires his Neighbour to remove a little of the Mountain to him: for if ye have Faith like a Grain of Mustard-seèd ye shall remove Mountains. By and by, Sir, half a dozen Chickens are brought in; which presently he commends for a Dish of very sat Jerusalem's; because of, O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest, etc. though if he had pleased, he might as well have called them, a Dish of Prophets, or a Dish of Would-nots; for you know, Sir, Jerusalem, Prophets, Chickens, and would not, are all in the same Verse. In short, Sir, my Lord Mayor himself cannot provide a greater number of Dishes, than this Gentleman shall have always in readiness Divine Fancies: Nor less ingenious can he show himself to be in his return (if there be occasion) than he was in his coming; for a Child cannot drop before him in the Streets, but presently, Tabytha, arise; be it Boy or Girl; nor a Porter ease himself of his Burden; but, Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden, etc. nor a Water-bearer be at a Conduit, but, Paul may plant, and Apollo's may water, etc. I know not, Sir, how many there be of this sort of people in the world, who have nothing to say against a Priest, but only to swear more than ordinary in his Company, or to apply a few Scripture words with impudent Non. sense. If there be no such at all; than what I have now said belongs perhaps to those that dwell at the Moon. But if there be, I would to God that (in the mean time till they come to some sense of Religion) they would in some measure consult their own Credit and Reputation; of which, if they be so nice and tender, as upon all occasions they pretend to be; they might plainly perceive, that this their childish way of Scoffing at God, and his immediate Servants, is so far from leading towards Wit, or Honour, that it is nothing else but dry, blunt, infacetious Atheism.  
And seeing, Sir, we have been now speaking of some that think themselves the very Princes of the Age, and Wit; it may not be amiss to hint also at another more modest sort of people, who are not for such notorious scosfing at God, and swearing down Towers and Steeples: but yet having but a small opinion of Religion, and little regard to honesty and conscience; (wit and humour serving instead of that (they must needs undervalue, and laugh at all such, whose duty and serious employment it is, to explain the Scriptures; and from thence to exhort to all Meekness, Temperance, and Righteousness: those, I mean, who, if they can but cheat a little Boy of his Link, and Livelihood; blow out a poor man's Candle; and make him prick his fingers; beat down a basket full of the biggest Apples: or pawn a young Gentleman for the reckoning, and then call it by the right name; they are in their own opinions very muc●… wiser than all the grave and formal Clergymen in the nation: who are commonly so very dull as to think, that one that is in the prime of his fancy, invention, gayness, frolic, and achievements, should submit to set forms; and to eat, drink, and walk the streets by Canon.  
Now, Sir, I must needs say, suppose a very ancient and solemn Professor of Cobbling, be very intent upon the great business of reparation, and all things promising highly well: the Awl glides nimbly through; the Candle consents, and burns very clear; nothing of fear, cloud, or disappointment appears; but he sings, or thrums at the great likelihood of the restauration of the shoe; seeing nothing but that the Evening may close well; his sleep be undistur●…'d; and his endeavours be crowned with being paid next morning: on a sudden, Sir, rushes upon him darkness, despair, and a sprightful Gallant; that spoils all his hopes, ●…hatters his Tune, and in short, with one puff blows out every bit of his burning Candle, and blossoming designs. Now, I say, this was very well blown; for if Cobblers should not some times be frustrated in their plots and contrivances; but should always succeed in their brisk and jolly humour, without disturbance or interruption, they might in time come to disrespect the great Masters of Fancy, and place too much confidence in the old shoe part of the world. But for all this great and just disappointer may go to Church next Sunday; and give due respect and attendance to his Instructor, notwithstanding he did so utterly defeat the Cobbler. I also deny not, but that he that in the Evening lets in the air at three or four Windows; may possibly keep people from sleeping too securely; and so preserve their houses from being afterwards burnt. But suppose a Divine has a mind to walk right on to his Lodgings, and not to make such remarks and observations in his passage: there is no reason that he presently should be counted a senseless sot, and others the only Wits and Humourists of the Age. For you know, Sir, if the night be very dark, and people be but fast asleep; Windows, commonly so called, are very frail, and ●…rangible things; and they will easily give way to a cudgel though clownishly, and unhumour somely applied; as well as if directed by the most ingenious and frolicksome hand. Whereupon I say again, as we ought to take special care that we do not set too low an esteem upon these enterprises: so on the other side, not so to overvalue them, as to think, but that our forefathers possibly might have attempted something in this great kind: And therefore if the Minister, in his Sermon gives sober rules, and advice to live peaceably, and modestly; and to make satisfaction for offences committed; he may with much more reason be believed, and listened to, than wondered, or laughed at: for the Jest is never a whit the less, though the Glass be paid for. I have also (according as my occasions would permit) taken into some consideration, that great affair of Apples spilling. A●…d I am thinking, Sir, that if the Basket stands a little leaning against the wall, or sloping▪ upon a board: and that the Apples be very round, and the surprise be very sudden, and that the meditating Governess be very old, stiff, or lamed; I no then verily believe that much of the lamented fruit may get into the kennel, before it can possibly be recovered. But suppose there be not such great advantages to make all things thus easily hopeful: and yet that the contrivance is such, th●…t the humour takes, and the frolic succeeds; however let us behave ourselves with some calmness, and modera●…on; and not as if we had killed a Giant, or ●…ew the Dragon. I must therefore always confess, that I did more than a little admire, at the smooth and even temper of that Gentleman; who finding a pail of Islington Milk standing all alone at the door, and putting it out every drop into the street went on as unconcerned about his business, as if he had done nothing, but washed his hands that day: whereas if such a special opportunity had fallen into some other humourists hands, who was apt to overplume himself upon such enterprises; he would have run presently back, to have told it at his Lodgings; have counted himself as great a Wit, as Ben Johnson, Fletcher, and Beaumond; and have utterly despised all the starched humourless Black-coats for six weeks after, because of the great adventure of the Milk.  
If I were at leisure, Sir, I might also briefly mention another sort of more shrewd and judicious Despisers: who have a very strange opinion of Religion, Scripture, and the Clergy: but they profess it is not out of humour, frolic, or any prejudice; but that they have looked far back into the History of the World, observed the rise and decay of Kingdoms, consulted the Laws and inclinations of humane nature, and have very well weighed, and examined the nicest circumstances, and possibility of things: and hereupon do very much wonder, that such thinking creatures as men, should be so long deluded with ●…ugbears and tales; and the groundless traditions of the mistaken and imposing Priests. And I need not, I suppose, Sir, tell you, that these are the Disciples of Mr. Hobbs. And what strict weighers, and punctual examiners of things these are like to be, you may very near guess, by the easiness of their Conversion to his Doctrine and opinions: one he comes, and says he is very confident that Mr. Hobbs is a Gentleman, and a great Discoverer of Truth; for he hears of several very accomplished and creditable persons, that do very much admire the old Gentleman, and are close adherers to his Principles: and therefore he is resolved to be a ●…ine person too; and to be as accomplished, and creditable as they; and to believe all, say all, and admire all; that they believe, say, and admire; so soon as any body would be so kind as to tell him any one thing that Mr. Hobbs holds: For if he could but get it once by the end, let him alone for the improving and management of it: another says, he is altogether as sure that all the world is in a mistake, except Mr. Hobbs and his followers: for that he was lately at a meeting, where a friend of his asserted right down Atheism to the very teeth of a Clergyman: or, that if there were any God at all, it must be a kind of ●…ooden God, such as Mr. Hobbs' God: and he knows this friend of his to be so much a Gentleman, and of so much integrity, and consideration, that he would scorn to say any such thing, if he had not well examined it, and found reason to conclude so: and therefore, for his part, he shall take his word, and Judgement concerning the business of a God, before any methodical Priest that dotes upon his Bible. Yes, says a third; Mr. Hobb●…'s Philosophy is certainly the only Philosophy: he must needs be a brave man: I durft almost swear, says he, that what he holds is absolutely true, let it be about what it will: or else such a one would never have shown so much ill breeding, and encouraged so much error, as to begin his health with such ceremony and observance. If it please the f●…tes, the next company I come into, I'll put it about, two in a hand, upon my word; and it shall run, To Mr. Hobbs, and the utter confutation of all Spirits and spiritual men; and so he is sufficiently entered, and fast enough. O, by all means, says a fourth, Mr. Hobbs must needs be in the right: I'll pawn half my Estate upon it, that he is: He ●…hall dispute with all the Ecclesiasticals for a hundred pounds of my Mony. For he perceives now where the pinch of the business lies: for he has worn him above this half year in his pocket, day and night: and have above twenty places of moment turned down: some before, and some after the Candle was out. O, says he, how ignorant, and deadly cold am I, if by chance I leave him at home: he is a great deal more comfortable and warm than a squirrel in the sleeve. But if you happen upon one, that has worn th●… Philosopher so long; that two or three of his Phrases are got through his pocket, and at least have insinuated themselves into his temper: He proves presently a Chairman in all companies: and if he luck's but upon a Clergyman, he is as great a Prince, as ever Mr. Hobbs gave power to. Then, come Sir, says he, Come now for your Immaterial substances: have you ever a one about you, Sir? I hear that you are nuch acquainted with them: you live by the Spirit, Sir, it is a wonder that you should not have one in your pocket: I have got honest Material Mr. Hobbs in mine. I could show you for a need, Sir, Spirit of Wi●…e; Spirit of Salt, or Spirit of Hartshorn: but I have enquired, and never could get, or see any Spirit of Substance. Spirit of Substance! that's fine indeed. What, Essence of Essence? Pretty I pro●…ess. Indeed we have had a very curious time of it: a company of very seeing Priests and searching Philosophers: that should go on, and on, and teach one another such plain, palpable, and manifest contradictions. Ask them, how such an Effect come to pass: it is done, say they, by an incorporeal Substance: wonderfully acute indeed! that is, by no body: or by a no body body: or by a no thing thing. It was very well for this Nation, that Mr. Hobbs was born at last; and half a dozen of us of willingness, and parts, to understand him; otherwise the world had continued in a brave blind condition. It is not, Sir, to my purpose, at present, to meddle with, or examine their Master's Principles: but I much wonder, seeing they may be daily convinced, how much he has been mistaken in his Mathematical attempts; that they should take his bare word, and believe him not to be failing in his other Writings; because he confidently says, he proceeds by evident connexion, and demonstration. And whereas heretofore it was a work of many years study, and seriousness: that could entitle one but to be suspected of Atheism: now he that has but seen Mr. Hobbs' Boots, and can make but a Mousetrap, is as fully privileged, as if he could pluck up the Earth by the roots, or make a man.  
I believe, Sir, there may be several others that without any reason at all are ill affected towards the Clergy. One thinks that whatever Episcopacy be, yet the Lands thereunto belonging are not jure divino: another is of opinion that the Clergy must by no means ride, because they are to go, and teach all Nations. And others there be, who are therefore against Tithes, because they think they give them. But these were partly mentioned in my former: and if they were not, it is all one; for I can say no more at present, being suddenly sent for into Devonshire: where I expect to find such employment, as will certainly secure the world, from me being ever troublesome in this kind again. I am once more,  
Sir, Your humble Servant, T. B. May 2. 1671.   

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