THE DOCTOR'S PHYSICIAN: OR, DIALOGUES CONCERNING HEALTH.  
Translated out of the Original French.  
LONDON, Printed for Joseph Hindmarsh, Bookseller to His ROYAL HIGHNESS, at the Black Bull in Cornhill, 1685.   

THE TRANSLATOR TO THE READER.  
WHen I observed that most Nations who pretend to the greatest Knowledge and Sense, and abound most in Wealth and Plenty, are strangely fond of Physic and Physicians; I could not but think that there must be a great deal of integrity in the Professorss, and usefulness in the Art: But meeting with this little Book, written by an unknown French Author; which endeavours to confute these general opinions, as vulgar errors; I have thought fit to Translate the same, for the same reasons which the Author hath given for Composing it in this his following   

PREFACE.  
MY design at first in beginning this little work, was only to laugh at some, who eating and drinking to excess, did afterwards abandon themselves to Physic, for remedying the bad consequence that attended their intemperance: But it is so difficult to put a stop to the vein of raillery, when those who love it, have a knack that way; that I could not but make merry also with such as are sick, with the fear of Falling sick: Nay I have not spared the Doctors, who sooth up these fanciful Patients in their Visions and Whimsies. This hath insensibly led me to speak of Physicians and their Art, that those do say who thoroughly know, but never make use of them, Instead then of a simple touch that I intended to have with junketting and intemperance; I have engaged in a quarrel with the bad practice of Physic; yet all along with the Foil, and not at Sharps, for 'tis no more but an Assault in a Fencing School, and not a real Combat I engage in: Besides, I do confess that I should not have pursued my raillery so far, if I had been the first who had opened that career; but coming after a great many others, I must needs take all the liberty I have used, that I might give a new Face to so old and beaten a Subject. Nevertheless all that is intended by it, is only to prove, that if a Man of a good constitution be any way Patient and Sober, he may without the help of Apothecary or Surgeon, enjoy perfect Health as long as he lives.  
These Dialogues are not of the nature of those Plays, which for some years have pleased the Public at the expense of Physicians. Here the Heart, Stomach, and other allegorical Persons speak; much after the rate as our old Romance-makers have brought the Virtues and Vices into play. Or, to say better, as the Fable feigns, that the several Members of the Body complain of the Head. Yet if the invention be not altogether new, the method however, and disposition is not common: For the Subject which links these Dialogues to one another, makes them as so many Scenes in a Comedy. Now, though in the first, many times nothing is to be found but trifles, without Ornament or Life; yet they contain nothing but that agrees with him that speaks, and which tends to the mark aimed at, without losing the allegory. It will be easy likewise to observe, that the more the matter is sifted, the more also things are said which require some attention. So that the last Dialogues are pretty different from the first, which will not a little contribute, if I be not mistaken, to the rousing of the Readers attention. The tenth is filled with new imaginations which require application, and the Eleventh drolls upon the bad practice of Physicians as much as civility will allow. As for the last, I thought fit to raise it a little higher than any of the former, because in that, Nature was to speak of the most sublime parts of Natural Philosophy. Perhaps some Philosopher zealous for his opinion, having censured this in equality of stile, will think it strange that I should as boldly pronounce concerning Philosophy, as concerning Physic. If it happen so, I shall be sorry for it; but I entreat him to call to mind, that in such occasions every one is free to take what part he pleases: Nor did I think myself obliged to betray my own Sentiments, to gratify those whom I know not.  
After all, if they may be believed who have read those Dialogues, I assert nothing contrary to good sense, and which may not be practised without scruple, or complaiance: Nay, they will have me to be a living instance of the maxims I propose for living in Health, and without any need of Physic. In fine, they conclude that this little Piece, has Life and Spirit enough in it to make way for itself in the world, and to gain credit there without the necessity of a Protector in the Front, or of an Apology in the Rear, because they are persuaded that whatsoever is said in jest, ought never to be taken in earnest.   

DIALOGUES CONCERNING HEALTH.  

First Dialogue. This Dialogue is supposed to begin at the end of a Plentiful Dinner.  The Heart. The Stomach. Heart. 
AWay, away! with this intemperance and excess; I have told you an Hundred times I can no longer endure it: Under pretext of doing me service, you break all my measures; and so discompose the order and method of my economy, that if you go on at this rate, I foresee what will become on't; nothing but qualms and dangerous fits; which being made worse by the unseasonable prescriptions of Physicians, will degenerate into insupportable pains, such as shall make us at every minute beg ease from Death; when to complete our misery, Death will prove deaf to our cries.  Stomach. 
Alas! I thought it had been my turn now to complain; for in such times of feasting, I have so little power to do as I would, that I am not so much as heard, though I exclaim and remonstrate till I'm sick again.  Heart. 
When you have received as much as may satisfy us, why don't you Command the Appetite to shut the Gate? and bid him tell them, if they'll needs be importunate, that the passages are stopped; and that no more must enter. A Stomach that knows what's good for Life, should not, at Table; gage itself by the capacity of its Neighbour, but by its own.  Stomach. 
Ay! It might be so as you say, if the first thing they did were not to make the Porter drunk, before the first course be ended, he is already quite out of his course, and then I am no more the Master; he suffers himself to be tickled with strong ragou's; and what is worst of all, he lets every thing pass, upon assurance given him, that their business is only to cheer up and fortify the Heart.  Heart. 
And at that word I'll warrant, you yield, and are persuaded.  Stomach. 
Sure enough. Can I withstand any thing that's good for you? And what would you say of me, should I deny entrance to that which hath orders to go straight to the Heart? your own conduct confirms me in this; for on such occasions, you give me ground to think, that you are no enemy to good Wine, nor strong Liquors.  Heart. 
I am not well known, I see; for were it not for some cheerfulness that drink does inspire, I should not at all care for it; and if I sometimes bea●… with the excess of Wine, it is beaus●… it is not so dangerous for you to be full o●… Liquor, as of solid Food.  Stomach. 
Be it as it will, we are much to be pitied, and it were to be wishe●… for both our sakes, that under colour or o●… a civil Entertainment, they would not engage us into all the disorders of Drunkeness and Gluttony.  Heart. 
And truly it is my intention, to take some course that these debauches may not hurt us, and therefore without more delay, we must resolve against those abuses that proceed from that quantity of meat and drink which they offer and force us to take. For excesses of this nature are grown so exorbitant, that all that the waters and soil of our Country produce fit for eating and drinking, are now adays jumbled together upon one and the same Table, with the Spices and Sauces of both the East and West Indies.  Stomach. 
Nay it is certain that the quantity and diversity of meats, jostle us quite out of the right way of Health.  Heart. 
Do Men think, that because they outdo that plain and simple way of feeding of our fore Fathers, they are therefore more skilful in the dressing of Victuals, than Nature herself, which in the several times of the year gives all that is convenient for every Season; tempering the fruit with so just a proportion, that one may say, they are such as they ought to be, for those that need them, without any necessity of Addition or Subtraction to make them better and more Healthful.  Stomach. 
I am persuaded of the truth of what you say; but—  Heart. 
Why, but? if Men think that Sugar is of great use for Northern people, they are much mistaken; and an ordinary Prune delights a Laplander more than the richest Conserve does a Genovese; nay Wine, Brandy, and Punch, would be useless within the Tropics, where it not that custom and intemperance had made them necessary.  Stomach. 
If we pursue matters so far, we are like to launch out into a long and tedious Voyage: And therefore, though your sentiments be very just, as to the abuse of mustering together in one dish the productions of all the four parts of the world, and the swilling down in one and the same meal the most exquisite Liquors of all sorts; yet, be ruled by me; let us attempt no more but some convenient moderation in the matter; for if it be observed that we skip from one extremity to another, we shall be but laughed at.  Heart. 
Have Men then lost their Wits?  Stomach. 
Quite contrary, they pretend to have enough and to spare, nay they maintain that the first Men were but Beasts, if Nuts, Medlars, and such like Fruits served them for Food; so possessed are they that Nature does but rough-hew our Aliments, and that Art must bring them to perfection. Whence likewise they conclude, that nourishment being the fundamental Law of human Society, they cannot eat and drink too often, seeing all sorts of Animals are made tame with Food.  Heart 
They ought in that, at least, to observe the Rules of Temperance.  Stomach. 
Sure enough. But they fancy that to follow these Maxims, is not so much to Live, as to Languish; that if Novelty, and the good dressing of Victuals carry them beyond the bounds of Sobriety, they know how to remedy these little disorders by speedy digestions; which not only ease and comfort Nature; but enliven her, and make her stronger than she is wont to be, when she is forced to go by the poise and Balance of Sobriety.  Heart. 
Great Doctors indeed, that speak very boldly of what they do not at all understand.  Stomach. 
However I should not complain of their ignorance, but be willing patiently to suffer, sometimes to be overcharged with meat and drink, under what shape or figure the whimsy of the Officer, at the desire of Gluttons and Parasites, might disguise them; provided these Surfeitings were not so frequent, and that they were followed by abstinence and diet, for by that means I might get clear of them, and come to myself again: But it puts me to despair when next day after a debauch, such as this, I am made the Storehouse of Cassia and Sena, accompanied with Rhubarb and Scammony; and if that operate not according as the faculty and College expect, I am condemned to purging Wine, Chrocus, that is to say, to the ordinary and extraordinary Rack, which puts me within a finger's breadth of Death.  Heart. 
It is not you that suffer alone, and complain of those ill-timed prescriptions; and therefore, that we may remedy the same, let us begin by declaring War against all those enemies of Health, who under pretext of coming to our assistance, drain us of our Forces and Spirits, so that a whole Age is hardly sufficient to retrieve us from the sad state we are in, when we get out of the hands of those Poisoners and Murderers, authorised by Luxury, and tolerated by the Government.  Stomach. 
Nay, the truth is, when Physicians cure a Disease, the Patient commonly dies of the cure: You cannot think, how glad I am to hear the proposition you make to me: But do you believe that you and I are strong enough to engage so powerful enemies.  Heart. 
Never doubt it; let us but despise them, and we shall certainly get the Victory.  Stomach. 
That will do well enough, for the enemy's without, but how shall we reduce those that are within?  Heart. 
What you say wants not its difficulties, and I foresee, as well as you, that it will not be an easy matter to surmount Mrs. Prejudice, which besets our reason. For that fool hath made her declare so positively in favour of Epicurism and Physic, that one would think that her design of destroying our Health, were only to enrich with our spoils the Traitor and the Physician.  Stomach. 
You speak of Reason as 〈…〉 you thought her capable to be impose upon: Before we proceed farther, 〈…〉 wish you might come to a clearing wit●… her upon the whole matter.  Heart. 
I am resolved to do so, but i●… were to be wished that this clearin●… might be made in presence of Reflection and seeing now adays they keep n●… more company together; that is the thin●… that puts me to a stand.  Stomach. 
And that which at prese●… puts me to another, is that I am ready t●… burst, and can hold no more. In th●… mean time I have advice from the Nos●… that they threaten me with an od●… Ragou; from another hand I understan●… they are about to regale me with a lust●… Brimmer, and then how to come of●… unless I burst, I know not.  Heart. 
That's a noble point of Honour, indeed, to drown one's self, when there is no necessity for it; don't you perceive that they are about to make you the receptacle of all the Bottles that remain i●… the Cistern? as if it were worth the ●…hile to know, how much exactly you ●…re able to hold.  Stomach. 
I can no longer resist the evil that presses me. Help, help! I sink under the burden.  Heart. 
Extreme Evils must have extreme Remedies: An Insurrection on such occasions is a great secret; though I should even be reckoned the Author of it— Courage, we are now delivered from what lay heaviest upon us.  Stomach. 
Ha! how much I am eased.  Heart. 
In expectation of the return of the Appetite which is lost, I have just now given order to Mr. Crap-sick to keep the door, and suffer nothing to enter into your Quarters during the whole day. On my part I shall bravely second the headstrongness of that new Porter: I'll demand nothing at all, and refuse whatever may be offered me, in the mean time, to hinder the entrails from interrupting us, I have ordered the Gall, to make an entire evacuation of the place.  Stomach. 
Ha! make use of some othe●… than of that blade; for if the Physicians, who pry into every thing, percei●… that he is concerned in our affairs, they say I have got a Cholera Morbus, and that will be enough, to make me in a moment become an Apothecaries-shop.  Heart. 
Give yourself no trouble●… only take your rest. I am going t●… recall the Spirits from the Organs, that 〈…〉 may recruit and temper them, during 〈…〉 long and quiet sleep: Afterward w●… shall take the best measures we can, tha●… we may not again Relapse into such 〈…〉 disorder.  Stomach. 
I consent, and with pleasure betake myself to sleep: Alas, that the heart cannot as well as I taste of these pleasures! but why do I regret! whe●… a Camp is beset with enemies, and the Soldiers must have rest, there is a necessity that the General watch.  Heart. 
Say rather, that in a Town Besieged, and on all sides open, it is only in the time of sleep, and during the darkness of the night, that the breaches can be repaired.   

Second Dialogue. Reason refusing to answer the motions of the Heart, makes use of Prejudice to speak to him.  Prejudice. The Heart. Prejudice. 
TAlk no more of that? you shall never persuade me, that we are able to judge what is good for the Health of the Body, and far less that we know, what is to be done, to preserve, or to restore it, when it is out of order or lost.  Heart. 
Were Reason here, we should hear another kind of Language.  Preju. 
I question very much that: For if Physicians skilful and Learned as they are, call others to their assistance when they themselves are sick; how can silly Reason that never studied, nor took a Degree, understand Diseases, distingui●… Symptoms, and proceed to a Cure.  Heart. 
If the Degree made the Docto●… Physicians of whom you speak, woul●… know their own Diseases, and Cur●… themselves. There can be no greate●… sign of their ignorance, than the●… begging assistance of others. Can 〈…〉 Lawyer know the matter of Fact bette●… than the Party? on such occasion's th●… question is not, how to gild the Pil●… but how to Plead the Cause; and that 〈…〉 a thing very well worth the labour. 〈…〉 is our Life that is concerned, and hav●… we any thing more precious? Conclu●… then with me, that the Body and Reaso●… constituting but one and the same perso●… there is a necessity that when tha●… suffers, this should bestir itself for it●… relief.  Preju. 
These Chimerical unions wer●… good in those days, when the Husban●… and Wife were but one Body and on●… Soul; that time's past, and Reason i●… convinced that no Man knowing himself, we must wholly trust our Healt●… to those who labour day and night t●… find out a Specific and proper Remedy for every Distemper.  Heart. 
Ho, ho! where are the Physicians, that Study to find out Specificks for Diseases? They are Singing Birds whose skill consists only in a Note a Tone, or a Cant that signifies nothing at all.  Preju. 
That Note or Cant hath such Charms though, that it may be said to be a Gold Chain which links the Patient's Ear to the Physicians Mouth.  Heart. 
What false steps do you cause Reason to make: How do you lead her out of the way that Nature hath prescribed for enjoying perfect Health? How dangerous is it to be possessed with Prejudice, and not to see but with another Man's eyes? what have you got by delivering us over to the College, is our Stomach the better for it? do I droop the less for it? Our feet are no longer able to carry us, and the nodes and knobs of our fingers deprive us of the use of our hands: See now, how the specific Bills of your Doctors, have completed the ruin, which your debauches began with pleasure.  Prejudice. 
We know your Distempers and the causes of them better than you do. They proceed only from the bad temper of your Constitution, and a complication of your Infirmities. Can one quench the burning heat of your Bowels, without overcooling your Stomach? or rectify the tone of this, without over-heating your upper Region?  Heart. 
Nay, rather say, that all our miseries proceed only from the draining of our Veins, and the diversity of poisons that hath been given us: And that's the reason that in the midst of our career we suffer all the pains and anxieties of the most decrepit and unfortunate Old Age.  Preju. 
If you suffer, blame the bad influences of your Ascendant for it, and not your Physician, who hath always timed his Remedies by the most favourable Signs and Aspects. Hold your peace then, or talk more discreetly.  Heart. 
When Reason speaks, and gives me Counsel, I listen and obey. But so ●…ong as she will not speak to me but by ●…our Organ, and that in the Language of an Almanac too, I shall only consult Nature, Patience, and Sobriety, with the examples of those that live under their Laws; of them I shall make experiments, which agreeing with the Stomach, are much better than all the raveries of your Mountebank Astrologers.  Preju. 
We are much agreed upon the matter; for what have we hitherto done, but followed the inclination of Nature, and granted the Heart and Stomach whatever they were pleased to demand?  Heart. 
You have not followed Nature, but your own Vicious inclinations; and all the complaisance you have had, has been for your own irregular Appetites, and not for the Stomach and me: This had never been, if you had not made Reason transgress its bounds; but since by so doing, she hath forgot her functions, it is my duty to tell you of it, that you make her reflect.  Preju. 
How now insolence? but let it pass; the Heart loves to comfort himself.  Heart. 
Know then that Nature so soon as a Child is Born, being willing to continue her work and carry it on to the end, which she hath proposed to herself; gives the Stomach new Orders to demand Food, and the Entrails, to make good use of it. Now since Nature foresees that they will ask for more Materials than they know what to do with, without altering or disfiguring her work; she sets over them at the same time in quality of an Overseer or Conservatour, that which is called Reason, with power to moderate the Appetites, and gently to excite all the several parts of the Body, diligently to mind their functions, upon pain of suspension, nay, even of deprivation of Health.  Preju. 
What does all this tedious speculation drive at?  Heart. 
To make yo● understand, that when Reason which wa● absolute and independent becomes a slave, trusting others with the charge that was committed to her, all things are presently out of order and in confusion. Health wherein consisted the beauty of Life then retiring, we become deformed; our well days are gone, and maugre all the vain efforts of Reason, that too late sees her error, we are made a prey to Infirmities and Melancholy.  Prejudice. 
Can Reason Remedy every thing? where she cannot be present in Person, her Lieutenant's fight under her Banners; and in such engagements, she hath got the Victory ove● many Diseases under the conduct and command of Physicians.  Heart. 
If it be so, you are much in the wrong, that you have not erected a Trophy to the College: That was an acknowledgement due to the efficacy of its Remedies, and to the skill it hath ●…hown in doseing and dispencing them with so much exactness and circumspection, that the blame was not to be laid at ●…ts door, nor yours, if we be not, as is ●…ommonly said, cured of all Diseases.  Preju. 
Come, come, let us not joke at this rate: It is certain, that had it not been for the luckey boldness of Physicians in draining all your corrupt Blood, and clearing you from the malignity of your entrails, at the very nick of time prefixed by the Stars and Nature, you could no●… at present brag that the Faculty hat●… made you a new Body.  Heart. 
A new Body of the Colledge●… making, is not so good as an old one tha●… never passed through their hands: Yet I d●… not deny, but that Physicians may b●… chance, cure some slight Distemper●… when they work upon a good Constitution, but it must be also acknowledge●… that we pay dear enough for the Cure.  Preju. 
What matters that, provide●… ye live?  Heart. 
Is that to ●●ve, when we com●… out under the Doctor● h●nds, to leadi●… brittle and languishing l●fe, that f●… the least deviation from the strict rule●… they prescribe, and wh●ch they the●…selves cannot observe, we fall into Relaps●… worse than the Disease. To undeceiv●… you then in one word, of the great opinion you have of the vast extent of their knowledge, and the infallibility of their Receipts. Know—  Preju. 
What can you say as to that, which I do not know?  Heart. 
That your Physicians, having consumed upon a poor Patient, the whole stock of their shallow Art and method, without being able to Kill or Cure him: It is not enough for them to lay the blame upon the occult malignities that Reign in the Elements; but they must likewise quarrel with the Heavens and Stars. At length, to slip the collar, they leave off Prescribing, and advise the Patient to a Milk diet, and if he find himself no better for it, they send him to Tunbridge or Epsom Wells, and then to his Native Air; for they are mighty glad that he should die out of the reach of his acquaintance. In the mean while the Patiented gains by their Evasions, and recovering his liberty, gets into the way of Nature again, and by that means escapes their Tyranny.  Preju. 
I can no longer endure though 〈…〉 frequent and injurious Jerks, against 〈…〉 faculty, to which the Heart that fin●… fault with it, owes a particular oblig●…tion.  Heart. 
What pray, hath it done f●… me then?  Preju. 
Don't you as yet perceive, u●…grateful Heart, that the Faculty hat●… rejected the speculation of urines, an●… trusts no more but to your motions 〈…〉 that they inspire into her all the Oracle●… she pronounces; do ye reckon th●… nothing?  Heart. 
Nay if it were possible less tha●… nothing.  Preju. 
And yet it is really true, tha●… Physicians now adays ground their co●…jectures, only upon the consequence●… that they draw from the march of th●… Pulse, and prescribe nothing but according to the quality of the Blood whic●… they draw from the Veins.  Heart. 
It is in vain for the Physician to consult me, if he understand not my Language. Can he draw good consequences from my motions, if he be ignorant of the cause of them? does he know that at every turn I receive unexpected Orders, which make me change and alter my gate? do they know that Nature would have me march slowly in good way, that is to say, when the Blood is thin and subtle, and that when it is thick I should double my pace. In a word, it is with my motions as with faces, which are all alike and all unlike one another. After all, what judgement can a Physician make of Blood exposed to the Air, which by being let out, loses what was essential to it with that which remains in the Veins? and then, because he has seen my Blood look sometimes one way, and sometimes another, can he tell the better for that, what Nature intends to do with it.  Preju. 
Yes, he must needs know the better, seeing he rectifies Nature, and turns her as he pleases.  Heart. 
That is easily said, but h●rd to be proved; take my word for it, a Physician can better irritate Nature than rectify her: But it is a comfort for those who have no commerce with him, that he cannot spoil the intentions of a good Mother towards her Children, who takes pleasure to rectify their errors, when they trust to her.  Preju. 
Who doubts but that Nature is helpful, and infallible in her operations, and that she must be observed, and nothing done but in conjunction with her? but when there is need of Remedies, to whom can we better apply ourselves than to Physicians who are her Children?  Heart. 
To Nature, I tell you, wh●… suggests what Remedies are fit for those whom she governs, which are so much the better and more pleasant, that they are earnestly desired, and prepared by her own hand. It'● by that means alon●… that we procure a settled Health, which lasts till Nature untwisting the threa●… of Life, makes Death as soft to us as our Sleep. Whereas your Physicians, having rend and torn us during the course of a long disease, deliver us up to Death amidst a Thousand pains and tortures.  Preju. 
Will you never let those Gentlemen alone, whom you cannot reverence too much? could you without them, enjoy that pure and fresh Blood, which they have the goodness to renew every New Moon? without that prevention, you would be furnished with nothing but adust Blood, which would raise your choler every hour of the day. In fine, had it not been for them, you had long ago been swallowed up by the vapours of your Spleen and Misentery.  Heart. 
O Heavens! what gibberish is this I hear?  Preju. 
Nay, what Language is this I hear? once for all hold your peace, and remember that it belongs to Reason whom I represent to Command, and that it is your part to obey.  Heart. 
Alas! what conduct is this! what will become of us.   

Third Dialogue. The Heart dissatisfied with Prejudice, confederates with the Stomach, for returning under the Laws of Nature.  The Stomach. The Heart. Stomach. 
FRom whence come all these sighs and sobs? what's the cause of so great dejection? what is i●… that troubles you? is there no way left to comfort you? I have discharged my functions: I am free, out of all hurry, and though weak, yet in a condition to perform all that you can desire of me●… Command then, what you would have done: Speak I pray: It seems you have forgot that sadness is the Poison of the Heart. I must, cost what it will, cheer you up.  Heart. 
Ah! I burst for anger, I'm undone, and e'en reduced to despair. Shall it be said, that the Heart must depend so long as it lives, upon a Reason that says and does nothing but by the intervention of a headstrong and extravagant Fool? no! she must of necessity either turn away that same Prejudice, or I must shake off the yoke of her Empire. Ha! Prejudice, how much mischief hast thou done us? and how much art thou still like to do?  Stomach. 
You have already spoken to me of that Mrs. Prejudice, tell me, if you can, who she is?  Heart. 
Why, she is the Daughter of that famous Glutton who hath endeavoured a thousand times to make you burst at Table.  Stomach. 
What of that Parasite, whose approbation on a dish, Epicures more eagerly court than a Glory-starved Poet does the permission of bringing into the World the ridiculous Brats of his Muse.  Heart. 
Of the very same.  Stomach. 
But still; by whom hath your Debauchee had that foolish Girl?  Heart. 
By the eldest Daughter of the College.  Stomach. 
What by that stinking nasty Pharmacy, Twin-Sister to pale Phlebotomy, who by her old Husbands hath had Epilipsy, Palsy, and Apoplxey; not to mention Consumpsion, Dropsy, and Jaundice, the best of which six is not worth a louse?  Heart. 
By the very same, and that by this good token too, that she went but Three Months with her, which was the cause that she was called Prejudice or Prevention.  Stomach. 
How Three Months! that's a thing unheard, it cannot be: Or else she must have thought that a big belly was just like some kinds of Physic that she gives, which comes away as soon as they are taken.  Heart. 
Faith I can't tell. But it is certain that before that, Physicians thought it enough to say, that a Child of Seven Months might live, and by a Miracle one of five. At present for kindred sake, they have concluded that this might live at three Months, founding their judgement on this, that it was but so long since the Marriage was Celebrated.  Stomach. 
Can you desire a more convincing argument? According to that Aphorism, a Child of Eight days might live, as well as a Child of Nine Months: But tell me what course has been taken to bring up that pretended Abortive?  Heart. 
So soon as it was born, the College took care of it.  Stomach. 
Nay, that is not to be wondered at, for it is not of yesterday that Grandfathers and Grandmothers dote upon their grandchildren.  Heart. 
The first Nourishment they gave it was Physic, under colour of purging it from a venom that we bring into the world with us, which, as the Doctors say, early or late puts us in danger of Death. But all this precaution hath not hindered, but that Prejudice is at present grown alittle vain glorious Rattle-head, in a word, a giddy-brained thing, that takes pleasure to speak sopperies, and to maintain them. Nevertheless, seeing she takes it of her Father to be pleasant Company at Table, and of her Mother, to cajole and flatter in sickness; she hath managed those little talents so well, that Reason hath made her her Favourite.  Stomach. 
Her Favourite?  Heart. 
Yes, her Favourite, and so much her Favourite, that I can no ways come to the knowledge of the sentiments of Reason, but by her means.  Stomach. 
We were so well governed without the help of Reason, during the first years of our Life; that one would think we might still go on, and fulfil our course without her interfering.  Heart. 
We must not flatter ourselves, if in our young and tender Age we tasted the cream of a perfect Health; for Nature at that time took care of us, and was our guide in the Infancy of Reason: And seeing we are not as yet come to that Age, wherein Reason and Nature must give way to habit and custom, we ought of necessity to obey Reason, provided she act fairly with us, and would listen favourably to our grievances: But perceiving that she is obstinately resolved not to unmask Prejudice, nor to govern us without disguise; I am resolved at the Peril of my Life and Fortune, to acknowledge her no more; could I be but assured of you, as I am already of a considerable number of the members of our Empire.  Stomach. 
You may rely upon me, as much, if not more, than upon any other whosoever.  Heart. 
But before you declare yourself openly against the Faculty, consider with yourself if you be able, all of a sudden, to shake off the habit of taking Physic; for I know very well you will be plied first with Purgative-preservatives, then with corroborative-digestives, and lastly with carminitive-aperitives.  Stomach. 
The truth is, this poor Body thinks itself very happy, when it misses a day without Blood letting, or a lusty Dose of Physic; and that it is excused for the Evening and Morning Service; that is to say, for a couple of Glisters, with some usual Pills for a prelude to Dinner and Supper, without which, they pretend we cannot live. Think what joy it would be, if we could free ourselves from this slavery?  Heart. 
They pretend very ill, and all these panic fears do scare none but little Children: we'll remedy all these apprehensions, merely by laying a●… Embargo upon the mouth. But there is no time to be lost, we must speedily put ourselves in a condition to baffle the attempts, that Prejudice will surely make to bring us under, so soon as ever she comes to understand that we are Revolted against her.  Stomach. 
What hinders you from telling me what your thoughts are as to that?  Heart. 
That we may not be interrupted in the discovery of the secret that I intent to impart to you, and in the measures that we are to take; hinder your Appetite from making a noise, and shut all the doors so fast, that nothing may be able to interrupt us. Above all things, let us have a care that the Liver suspect nothing. I have some cause to mistrust him.  Stomach. 
And I to complain of him. However the orders are given, you may say all you please; I listen.  Heart. 
Know then that I have had a long conference with Prejudice, and got so little satisfaction therein, that I have resolved no longer to submit to the Government of that Favourite: That is not all; I have engaged the noble parts in our concerns, and generally all that live in the Region of circulation. Besides, I have so well managed the Senses, by the mediation of Common Sense, that they are resolved no more to hear not see Physicians, and far less to smell, touch or taste any the least thing that comes from them, so that they are all declared in our favours.  Stomach. 
A fair Progress, indeed.  Heart. 
That is not all neither, I have so far prevailed with the Brain, who is provoked at the irregularities that Prejudice causes there, that he will follow all my motions. And I have pushed on the matter so far, that Sleep, which by turns disposes of the whole Body as well as Reason; and if one dare say so, more absolutely than she; hath promised me, for facilitating of our enterprise, to anticipate as much as may be, upon the time allotted to Reason, thereby to shorten the duration of her Reign: I tell you nothing of Dreams, though I make great esteem of them: For you know they desire as much as we, the return of the Golden-Age, of which they still retain all the ways of acting.  Stomach. 
But suppose every one do what they have promised; who is to be entrusted with the management of the whole.  Heart. 
Nature, from whom we must all take orders.  Stomach. 
That's well: But consider that Nature is a very simple kind o thing, for the people who, as it is said, would see the Gods March before them And therefore it would be convenient besides that Pilot, to give the people also an Anchor, to which they might fasten their hopes, during the Tempest of Diseases.  Heart. 
That I intent to do hereafter, for I purpose to retrieve the honour of Experiments, the name whereof is rendered 
* Empirick.  odious by our enemies. By that means medicine will be brought back to its original, and become so familiar and natural, that no body will need any other Physician than himself, for applying what he shall find proper for his Distemper.  Stomach. 
The Scheme is good, and the design pleases me very well. But seeing States pass not from one kind o●… Government to another without danger▪ would it not be convenient to appoin●… some substitute to Nature, who might be acceptable to her, and take the conduc●… and Government of us in our firs●… essay?  Heart. 
Nature hath provided for that by suggesting to me to make use of Sobriety and Patience, who understand th●… conduct of the Body perfectly well: Fo●… if they be not the Mothers, they are a●…least the Nurses and Governants o●… Health; and besides that, I'll pass m●… word for them, they are the declare●… Enemies of indispositions, nay and o●… most part of Diseases too.  Stomach. 
I know it, and willingl●… submit to their Discipline: To let yo●… see how much I am persuaded by wha●… you say, I desire a favour of you▪ ●h●… Sobriety would presently come and est●…blish the Seat of her Empire with me●… You know, as I lie most open, so I a●… the most convenient post for our enemies and therefore I cannot be too well Fortified, nor too soon put into a posture of defence: With her assistance I shall bridle Appetite, and perform my functions at more leisure, and more to the advantage of those who are concerned.  Heart. 
I am overjoyed to find that you have prevented me. Since than Reason neglects to possess the Posts of the Stomach when Men eat, and to go to the Heart, when she would put in execution her great thoughts in the head: I think it convenient that Sobriety take up her Quarters with you, and that Patience have the charge to make head against Reason, to what side soever Prejudice may turn her; considering the frequent Recruits and Assistances that we shall send to Patience, it will be no easy matter to baffle her.  Stomach. 
If Patience be as well seconded by others, as Sobriety shall be by me, make account that we shall obtain the Victory.   

Fourth Dialogue. The Stomach pressed with Hunger, talks of good cheer, Sobriety suffers it, the better to compass its ends.  Sobriety. The Stomach. Sob●ie y. 
I Hear, as well as you, the grumbling of your Guts, and I am very sensible of the importunities of your Appetite: But you must be firm and resist their griping solicitations, till the hour when you used to gratify them be past: They'll trouble you no more after. Come, courage; let us talk of the pleasures that accompany Health,  Stomach. 
You say well: But consider likewise that a hungrey Belly has no ears: The hour of eating is, when one is a hungrey: I am torn to pieces, I cannot hold out, I die.  Sobriety. 
Are not you ashamed, to cry out for Hunger like a Child?  Stomach. 
Consider, I pray, that my Liver is so great and so hot, that he cannot be put off with the amusements and excuses that abstinence makes use of, to beguile that canine hunger which devours me. A crust of Bread and a Glass of Wine, or I'm dead.  Sobriety. 
You'll revive that famous Glutton of Antiquity again, who finding no one Body to stand by him for the space of a whole day, in eating and drinking, made his four Meals, with four different clubs of Epicures.  Stomach. 
I do not talk of four Meals, but of one which may last as long as my Appetite: Suffer not, I beg of you, that Fasting over heat my Choler any more, unless you desire to see me fall into a rage or a fainting fit.  Sobriety. 
Is this the effect of all the fair promises you just now made to the Heart? but I am not startled at those mean weaknesses: My orders must be put in execution; and all the ways yo●… take to persuade me, are so many motive●… that incline me to do nothing at all: 〈…〉 you be hot take a little water.  Stomach. 
What! water?  Sobriety. 
Yes, water.  Stomach. 
If you had said Strong waters it had been somewhat, but mere Element common water; how is it possible I ca●… taste it, and not expire?  Sobriety. 
You shall taste it, and no●… expire for all that It is far better for yo●… in the condition you are in, than the Oy●… that you would pour upon the fire, whic●… would consume you for good and all.  Stomach. 
Alas! where is now th●… time, when I began my day with a lust●… dish of Chocolate, or a mess of heart●… jelly-broath; whi●h, some hours afte●… was followed by an Embassy of Pottage consisting of a dozen of plump young Pigeons, swimming in Gravy, or othe●… convenient liquor, and attended with forced meats, coxcombs, palates, mushrooms, and the rest of that savoury train; which as Deputies from their principals come to compliment the Taste and advertise me, that whole Nations were upon their march to submit themselves entirely to the absolute disposal of the Appetite?  Sobriety. 
How, do you still look back again? have you forgot, that you regret the want of that, which has been the cause of all your evils? that the least punishment which the excess of good cheer inflicts upon those who give themselves over to it, is to be loaded with an hundred weight of useless fat? These surfeitings are no ways excusable put in an old Scythian who desires to be fat, that his Kindred may feed upon him with pleasure.  Stomach. 
If you draw these consequences from a mess of Broth, and a Pottage, what would you say, if you saw the same Pottage flanked with all the dishes that the four Elements and Season of the year afford as proper for the first course.  Sobriety. 
I would say that all th●… Dishes and Plates, are but so many sna●… laid for Health, and I should long 〈…〉 those delicious repasts, which consist o●… in one dish furnished with one sort 〈…〉 meat, of which every one takes as mu●… as he hath need: For I am not sor●…viving the custom of tying people up●… commons. I would have judgement 〈…〉 not necessity to be the carver for t●… Appetite.  Stomach. 
There are a great many, w●… care as little as you do for these prelud●… and who never fall to feeding in go●… earnest, till they see a jolly quak●… Pudding, or a trembling Mountain 〈…〉 dainty well dressed Beef appear.  Sobriety. 
In such dangerous occasio●… I commend those who begin and e●… with the Beef.  Stomach. 
How is it possible to st●… there; for seeing these are served in h●… concocted, if they be but in the le●… moistened with Wine cooled in Ice, th●… do no more but pass through us witho●… any stay. And it's well it is so; for ro●… meat and salads, crowned with flowers ●…nd green leaves, present themselves ●…fterward with so palitable a mien, and ●…o well disposed to follow that which ●…ent before, that it is hard to determine ●…hich of these meats ought to be allowed ●…e favour of entering first. That is then ●…e occasion when it may be said, that ●…ell cooked meats invite the Stomach.  Sobriety. 
You make them say and do whatever you please. Seeing you covet ●…hem, you are before hand with them, and ●…efore they present themselves to the ●…outh, the eyes have already made way ●…or them to the Stomach.  Stomach. 
That may be; though I am not always in a condition to admit of all that the eyes devour.  Sobriety. 
For my part, I cannot comprehend how so much Victuals can find room in so small a place.  Stomach. 
It would not be without ●…ifficulty, were they not ushered in by a ●…avishing steam which the smell devours; ●…nd if they came not afterward armed ●…t Sharps, with Lemons and Oranges, seconded by the acrimony of Salt, and fir●… of Spices; being in that Equipage, yo●… see how easy it is for them, to force a●… that stands in their way, either to giv●… place, or to fly for it.  Sobriety. 
I very well conceive, th●… the last comers chase the former; b●… seeing that is not done in an instant, ho●… do you reconcile the roast with the raw 〈…〉 the burning hot. with the Ice-cold, th●… Pepper with the Sugar? for it is imposs●…ble so many different Guests can cotto●… together.  Stomach. 
Nothing truer, these differe●… aliments brought from opposite Climat●… and contrary Elements, impatient●… suffer the constraint to which they ar●… reduced. Judge then, what torment I a●… in, when that grows to excess, as it h●…pens almost daily, because the Laws 〈…〉 the Table slight all my grievances.  Sobriety. 
In the manner you speak 〈…〉 them, I fancy I see within you an Ar●… of different Nations, more inclined 〈…〉 mutiny and Revolt, than to the goo●… of the service.  Stomach. 
That's well said, but in that sad condition, were I to compare myself to any thing, it should be to Charon's Boat, after a bloody Battle, because all those d fferent people you speak of, pour in upon me, maimed, torn, hasht and cut, having endured all the rigour of Fire and Sword.  Sobriety. 
Does not drink make them friends?  Stomach. 
Not altogether, though all of them earnestly desire to be moistened, and look upon drink as the solace of their pains. And thence it is that the more one drinks, the more one desires pure Wine without water.  Sobriety. 
Whence comes that greedy desire of drinking without thirst, and without water, seeing the civil debauchês heretofore, would not have Bacchus go without his Nymph, what does one get by being drunk?  Stomach. 
Why, it's because no drink but that which intoxicate, can ease the troubles and miseries of Life: And th●… though Wine doth not wholly dissipa●… the anxieties of the unfortunate, yet 〈…〉 suspends them at least; for if Wi●… discharge not the Debtor, it gives hi●… Letters of Licence: Nay it is even 〈…〉 insolent as to set upon Reason and va●…quish her: And of its own plenary pow●… without Commission, it enslaves the Mast●… and sets free the slave.  Sobriety. 
Wine, by what I hear fro●… you, is a Sword in the hand of a m●… Man.  Stomach. 
It is nevertheless a sure mea●… to discover the make of men's tempe●… and to pump out the secrets of t●… Heart.  Sobriety. 
Wine ought either to be pr●…hibited, or reduced within the bounds 〈…〉 cheerfulness and pleasure.  Stomach. 
Men are so satisfied of 〈…〉 truth of what you say of the fury 〈…〉 Wine, and the moderation there oug●… to be observed in it, that it is put i●… the keeping of the Servants, duri●… the time of meal, with orders not to ●…ll any unless it be demanded; in so much, ●…hat there is no excess committed so long ●…s the Masters are retained by shame, ●…nd the Lackeys by fear; but if the wine be served with so much circumspection, ●…t is not so with the Mushrooms, Caviar, Botargo, and Bolonia Sausages, with the Tarts, Creams, Custards, and in general, all that the Season affords to delight and tickle the Palate.  Sobriety. 
Why don't they banish from the Table all that necessity does not require, as coming uncalled to the Feast?  Stomach. 
They are so far from rejecting what offers, that they find out things which ought never to be served up, as Shallot, Rocambole, and mouldy stinking old Cheese, that offend the smell, and please nothing but a jaded and stupefied Palate.  Sobriety. 
It's a thing I cannot conceive, how that you not having the talon of ruminating, can dishinguish one thing from another, in the disorder and confusion they are sent to you, and I cannot imagine what course you can take in that deplorable condition, for your ease and comfort.  Stomach. 
I have instantly recourse to Ice of all colours, and to the Rose-water and other Sweet-waters, that are served up with the Fruit, the humidity and cold whereof temper and allay the heat of the Wine, and the fire of the Spices. I sip also of Rosa Solis, or some other pleasant Water, perhaps of my Lady's own preparing, which bringing up the Rear, forces the stragglers to double their pace; but seeing these amusements rather soften and qualify the evil than cure it, there is a necessity of using powerful Remedies, I mean, that I am fain to comply with the Tea, and those boiling hot drinks, that have been invented by strangers, which piercing through that great body of meat, breaks dissolves and hurries it away into those places where I pretend not to take cognisance.  Sobriety. 
What, don't you fear to precipitate your digestion?  Stomach. 
No, I can not moisten too soon, nor too warmly nor even too abundantly; for the most liquid of my Cargo passing through at first; I have often found by experience, that if I moisten not with those hot drinks, the rest remains in a manner stranded, as a Ship upon the Sand when the Sea is out.  Sobriety. 
When that happens, why do not you expect the next tide, to get your Vessel a Float again?  Stomach. 
It would be too long for me to suffer; for that heavy and undigested Mass, consisting only of what I devoured to stay my craving hunger, one may still hear the Bellowing of the Ox and the grunting of the Pig, these Bodies never, being so divided or discomposed, but that they retain the qualities of their last specification.  Sobriety. 
At that noise, don't your Neighbour's come to your assistance?  Stomach. 
They are in no small trouble, especially the Liver; but if through weakness or any other accident, he performs not all he ought upon my account, the Gall or Spleen supply his defect; after all I must confess that in my greatest pressures, the Heart of all others is the readiest to bring me case.  Sobriety. 
Can it be taken ill then, that knowing all these disorders, I avoid junketting where Health is in greater danger, than the forlorn hope in the day of Battle: These Relations fill me with horror; However I excuse what you have alleged; for it is natural when one is hungry to speak of good cheer. I am therefore more than ever confirmed in my Maxims, and once again I beg of you to take no more to day but a little Roast-meat, and some Glasses of small Beer, or water coloured red.  Stomach. 
I could not have believed not long since, that I could have so easily obeyed you, I was so urged by Parasites that eat commonly at my Table; but now that they are gone, I want nothing; I am out of humour; and perceive that it is more by custom than necessity, that people eat to excess.   

Fifth Dialogue. Prejudice that loves junketting, cannot endure Sobriety.  Sobriety. Prejudice. Sobriety. 
I'M either mistaken, or there comes our enemy? let all be upon their Guard.  Prejudice. 
What, have you the insolence to take upon you, as if you were a Sovereign? wretched spawn of fasting and abstinence, who dares neither eat nor drink but by weight and measure; do you pretend to give Laws where I am?  Sobriety. 
Who are you?  Prejudice. 
Who am I? it is enough that I have authority from Reason, to make you acknowledge and obey me.  Sobriety. 
I make it my Honour to acknowledge and obey Reason; but if she hath invested you with her Authority, give me a proof of it, by ordaining in favours of a Body overcharged with fat, a suspension of strong food, and much Physic; for that in the sequel, cannot but produce good effects: In the first place—  Prejudice. 
In the first place, hold you your peace: In the next place get you gone: I neither love Speeches nor Speech-makers. Ho there! Appetite awake, Senses bestir yourselves, and Body prepare every part of thee for a rousing meal.  Sobriety. 
Nay, say rather, prepare for Death.  Prejudice. 
What, do I hear thee still walking Skeleton, do you forget you have been Banished out of all such Houses a●… this, where joy and wealth abound? get ye hence instantly, or I'll send you packing with a Volley of Glass Bottles about your ears. None but such as tho●… art, who leadest a wretched life, aught to think of Death: Learn to reverence and Honour Reason in my Person.  Sobriety. 
You may have the power, but you want the Language of Reason, or you make her act the part of Gluttony and Drunkenness: Never was their a Drunken Fish-wench transported with more violent passions, nor more extravagant Freaks.  Prejudice. 
What won't you hold your peace yet?  Sobriety. 
No. On the contrary, listen rather to me, than to intemperance that poisons your ears. Consider how little Health we have remaining, and put us not in danger of losing that: It is impossible to reconcile voluptuous irregularity with sound Health.  Prejudice. 
It is in vain for you to hold forth, no body will hear you It is my pleasure, that forthwith, nay instantly, the Stomach prepare itself with these nourishing Broths, that the Tongue taste lickerishly of all these various dishes, and that the Palate perfume itself with these delicious Wines. Courage, my Senses, these exquisite dainties are so many Sacrifices which I consecrate to your desires.  Sobriety. 
Had you to do with a Child whose Nurse you were, I should not think it strange, that you made it your business to cram it with meat, that so you might have time to take your pleasure whilst it slept. But what can Reason do in a Body overcharged with meat and drink?  Prejudice. 
She triumphs over our mortal enemy Emptiness.  Sobriety. 
Strange depravation! the consequences of this must be prevented, if it be possible I have taken care for all.  Prejudice. 
Whence is it that no body obeys me? why does the Stomach resist my orders? and what can have made the Heart rise against Victuals?  Sobriety. 
That's well.  Prejudice. 
A Physician, quickly call a Doctor; we must prevent the Distemper: These are the fine effects of the ridiculous sufficiency of Sobriety.  Sobriety. 
You may speak as much ill of me as you please, but why must this poor Body, having by a Miracle escaped out of the hands of the Cook and Butler, be now delivered up to the Surgeon and Apothecary; do you think that it is with Life, as with a Torrent, which as soon as it gets over a precipice scatters and loses its self by its diffusion.  Prejudice. 
If a Body ' le take your word for it, fair Mistress Prate-a-Pace, I should be like one of your Rope-dancers without a Pole, that cannot make one step without being in danger of breaking his neck. I renounce all these circumspections; a short and sweet life is better, than, like Tantalus, to languish without eating or drinking, in the midst of plenty and abundance.  Sobriety. 
However, they that Sup●… with me have no Headache next Morning You cannot go out of the right way without ruin. It is not my design t●… deprive 〈…〉 of Food, but to put i●… in the 〈…〉 make the right use o●… it; for 〈…〉 ignorant that there i●… more danger 〈◊〉 long fasting, than in much eating; Reason taught me these Maxims, at that time when she put the Appetite under my Government.  Prejudice. 
That time is past; Reason was then well served, now adays she is betrayed; but soon or late she'll revenge herself: For being Mistress of the Head, she will reduce the Rebels when she has a mind to it, and perhaps sooner than they think, to a true animal way of Living.  Sobriety. 
In a good time be it so, we'll willingly submit; and are so far from looking on that as an injury, that we accept of it as a favour. Nay I can assure you that we desire nothing more than that Reason were always in the Head; for we shall thereby better dispose all that is necessary for the Organs of Reason, and it shall be none of our fault, if she discharge not her functions pleasantly.  Prejudice. 
You have the wrong Sow by the ear, if we willingly 〈◊〉 ●nch ourselves in the Head, 〈…〉 we shall caution ourselves against the rheums and distillations that might overwhelm us in that redout: And if Betony be not sufficient to guard us against them, we shall have recourse to Tobaco, nay and to Euphorbium. In a word, we shall leave no means unessayed to secure us from your attempts.  Sobriety. 
Do you consider well what you say? your needless precautions move me to pity. To avoid a natural dependence that hath no bad consequences, you are running into mortal slavery, which will drag you through a thousand corruptions into horrors that I dare not name.  Prejudice. 
I scorn your Prognostics.  Sobriety. 
I cannot tell if you'll scorn them always; but do not you imagine that Nature will suffer you to pollute the seat of her Empire, by a shameful commerce that you intent to have with those drugs.  Prejudice 
You are mighty knowing; like enough it's to you that Nature reveals her intentions.  Sobri. 
I know enough to let you know, that it is the intention of Nature, that the seat where she hath placed Reason, should neither be hot nor cold, neither dry nor moist, but that all these qualities should meet there, without the Predominance of one above another. Now, if you pretend to trouble that disposition, I declare to ye, in the name of Nature, and of all the parts of the Body, that they'll employ all their Forces to hinder it; and that so long as they have one drop of humidity left, they'll make it mount from the Heel to the Head, rather than fail to purify it from your snush.  Prejudice. 
There is nothing that I more passionately desire, than to see her make that career. As it is my whole business to drain the water out of the Body, if I can but compass my ends by the virtue of Tobaco, we shall see what Nature will do to get more.  Sobriety. 
Know that there is nothing impossible to Nature, when she endeavours our preservation. If any internal impediment interrupt the course of our Health, and that for reparation thereof, Nature stands in need of Water or Air, she calls for it; and if she be denied it, she converts the food we take into that which is proper for her. If the malignant humour be in any part of the Body, where the Air, the humidity and ordinary transpiration are not effectual enough; Nature forces these impurities to muster together in some place, where being wisely disposed and ripened, the same Nature commands the skin to open a Passage by which they are sent forth. And this is the way how she delivers us from bad humours, in what Region soever of the Body they occur.  Prejudice. 
Well then! let's imitate Nature. Come dear Tobaco, come, and by reiterated sneezings, open a Passage to the Torrent of defluxions▪ wherewith they would drown the Brain● dear Tobaco, is there any living without thee? and were it not for thee, could our Life be happy?  Sobriety. 
That course you take do not ease but destroy the Body. It's a changing the order of Nature, to void the excrements by the Mouth and Nose: Having giving you this advice, I have no more to say; but remember, if any bad accident happen, which I do but too certainly foresee, you alone must answer for it.  Prejudice. 
All in good time.  Sobriety. 
Farewell. I'll take a long with me what remains of Health and cheerfulness, with the approbation of Men of breeding; and leave with you nothing but nastiness and stink, with the aversion of civil people. You will regrate the want of us when we are gone; for the value of a good thing is not known, till it once it be lost.   

Sixth Dialogue. Prejudice uses all her endeavours, to take off the Stomach and the Heart from the Party of Sobriety.  Prejudice. The Heart. The Stomach. Prejudice. 
TELL me I pray, both of you, what's the meaning on't that you do no more obey the orders of Reason? have you forgot what she hath done for you? answer me plainly.  Heart. 
Since I never dissemble, I'll tell you frankly, that we have no cause to brag of the conduct of Reason, since she hath given herself over to the excesses of the Mouth and of Physic.  Prejudice. 
Physic is not the point in hand, though both of you stand much in need of it, the question is, what ground ye have to refuse your Victuals; is it that the Stomach pretends to digest no more, that it may give cause to those who wait for its concoctions or digestions, to put all into trouble and combustion?  Stomach. 
Do you yourself think that a Stomach is like a Market, which is only valued according to the quantity of goods that are carried thither and brought from thence?  Heart. 
Hath abstinence made us neglect our functions, or fail in our duty?  Prejudice. 
No: But both of you set about them so faintly, that if you persist a little longer in your carelessness, I will not give much for our Life. Is that the way to set the Belly and Reins to rights again, which for a long time have done nothing without the help of Physic; what can the Stomach say to that?  Stomach. 
I blame myself for nothing, but that I was too late in opposing your irregularities. Are not you ashamed to have made so bad use of your Authority? you are the cause of debauching the Appetite, and of rendering that blind buzzard independent of the Heart and me, which ought to have been obedient to our orders.  Prejudice. 
Speak more civilly of the Appetite, without it what would become of you?  Stomach. 
For my share, I pay very dear for the effects of his fickleness and inconstancy; is he mad for some new object? hardly hath he touched it, but that he forsakes it for another; in the mean time I bear the but then of all.  Prejudice. 
You are very bold in daring to control his actions, he is not to give account of them to you; but you are to give me an account of yours: Answer then precisely to what I ask you.  Stomach. 
I know no obligation that lies upon me to you, nay nor Reason herself when she rambles out of the Maxims of Nature, and acts not according to her orders. So that, look to it, it is Reason and you that are in the fault, and not I. For satisfying that unruly Appetite, which you foolishly justify, you have made me devour and consume more meat within these Ten years, than would have served a sober Man for a whole Age; and as often as I showed any reluctancy against that excess, presently I must be condemned to Physic.  Prejudice. 
How many lies now, do you pile up one upon another?  Stomach 
Nay, it is but too true, that I have taken so many Medicines and it so many different ways, that it's a Miracle they did not kill me. For there is not a Receipt in all the dispensatory, that to woeful experience has not been tried upon me; and as if it were not enough for meriting the glorious Title of the Martyr of the Faculty; that I have been a Thousand and a Thousand times drenched and soaked with bitter drinks, and as often let Blood; they have glutted us in Summer with hot water, and in the Winter with cold. They have—  Prejudice. 
They have ordered nothing for you in those Two Seasons, but upon very good indications: Would you have such knowing and disinterested Men as Physicians are, see one's Health in danger, and not reach it a hand; that civil and officious way of acting hath by my means so wrought upon Reason, that it hath conquered that Natural aversion which till then she always had for Physic.  Heart. 
How can it be that Reason hath had so great an aversion to Physic and yet have Sacrificed us to Physicians?  Prejudice. 
Had it not been for me, she had hardly resolved upon it, for in her own Nature she is very irresolute; and you know that irresolution is not a Disease to be cured by Age.  Heart. 
To be cured of that, the best Remedy is experience; and indeed few are made wise by the experience of others.  Prejudice. 
Of what use can experiments be, when Two things never happen altogether one way? what did hur●… yesterday, does good to day. One thing is Healthful in infancy, which in Old Age is mortal; every thing in this World is singular: So that consequences draw●… from the past, signify nothing for th●… future.  Heart. 
These experiments however are less faulty than conjectures, because one may far better judge of a Distempe●… by the effect of a Remedy, than o●… Diseases by their causes, which ar●… unknown to us.  Prejudice. 
I see what you drive at; a●… that an able Physician says, though fou●…ded on good sense, and immemori●… practice, is with you no more than 〈…〉 Remedy prescribed at a venture, and pr●…paired by a blockhead; from which o●… can promise himself nothing but prese●… pain and certain Death. Whereas, 〈…〉 you may be credited, an odd Recei●… given by the first we meet, is in yo●… opinion an infallible Specifick●, an●… Universal Remedy: But these ordinar●… Specificks and Universal Doctors, ar●… much like a flash of Lightning in a dar●… Night, which having given us a glance 〈…〉 objects, leaves in us a greater obscu●…ty than before.  Heart. 
Don't take me up before I'm own, I can make good what I say with●…ut your help; know then that by ●…he word experience or experiment, 〈…〉 only mean Natural and agreeable ways ●…f living, which are followed by whole Nations, and that successfully.  Prejudice. 
That's to say, that according to these aphorisms, you would in the Morning drink Coffee with the Turks, and with the Chinesses Tea after Dinner, Chocolate in the Evening with the Mexicans, and Wine all the rest of the day with some people of Europe.  Heart. 
Why don't you add to complete the round of the known World, that I would drink Mil● with the Tartars and Africans, Mead with the Moscovites, and Sherbet with the Turks; but ●ince it is not necessary for one Man to make use of all the productions of Nature, ●…or of all the emprovements of Art, it is enough that every one in particular make some little experiments of wha●… agrees with himself; there is nothing more easy than that: For it is not wi●… the Stomach as with a Painters Pale●… which ought to be furnished with 〈…〉 the chief Colours, if they intent to represent all sorts of objects to the Life seeing of one simple kind of Food Nature maketh flesh and bones, and Pain●… the Lilies and Roses of the Complectio●… as well as the Or and Azure of the Eye and hair.  Prejudice. 
These Poetical flourishe●… are wide of the subject. The questio●… is to know, if that be the way to redu●… the Stomach to the Animal Life whic●… you affect, by making it renounce 〈…〉 the preparations of Art, and only receiv●… from the hands of Nature Herbs and r●… meat, and eat Rice and Corn as the●… come out of the Ear.  Stomach. 
In the sad state to which 〈…〉 constitution, that was once very go●… is now reduced, I could not witho●… difficulty leap from one extremity to●…nother; but yet allowing some e●… qualification, I could with pleasure ta●… the part of Nature; for the most simple ●…ood is easiest to be found, and soon ●…igested: To what end such Massacres of Oxen, Sheep, Foul, and wild Beasts, ●…hat crowd of Officers, that number of Engines and dresses to disguise them ●…nto a Thousand shapes? when our Gardens furnish us with Strawberries, Melons, Figs, and Grapes: However, 〈…〉 am still persuaded, that one may keep his Health very well though he Taste of all, but not surfeit on any.  Heart. 
I should be of the same opinion, provided they would not oblige us to take Physic, and would suffer us to renounce Ptisan and Barleywater.  Prejudice. 
You make me sick, both of you, by this groundless aversion you have for Physic: Reason won't learn of you the way how to live, and if she have occasion to change her course, she'll consult those who are more knowing and less headstrong than you.  Heart. 
So long as Reason acts by your whimsy, she'll never bring us to a reconciliation; that is too weighty an affair to be managed by so light a head a●… yours is.  Prejudice. 
As light as it is, if the Gut●… will be persuaded by me, it shall no●… be long before you repent that yo●… have offended me.   

Seventh Dialogue. Prejudice proposes to the Intestine to enter into a combination again the Party of the Heart.  Prejudice. The Intestines. Prejudice. 
YE are very still and quie●… below there, my Master●… d'ye fear nothing that this calm thre●…tens ye with a sudden storm?  Intestines. 
What are the three orde●… of Medicine at a consultation abou●… then?  Prejudice. 
You have hit it, and it is already concluded, to make you in the first place serve for the Funnel of a Chimney; for that end they are enjoining the Mouth and Lungs to fill you with the 
* An English clyster.  smoke of Tobaco, and if that do not work, the fear that it will put you in, will make you purge at least.  Intestines. 
You are about to tell us a tale of a 
(2) It's said, that Bird gives itself Glisters, and that therefore the College of Physicians at Paris give three of them in their Arms.  stork; who ever heard of washing the Guts with a Glister of smoke?  Prejudice. 
It'll be well for you if you escape so; there are other geats matters a hatching.  Intestines. 
What can befall us worse?  Prejudice. 
What, have ye not ●s yet perceived, that the Heart and Stomach are Revolted against Reason, with a design to render themselves Masters of the Body, that they may govern it according to their fancy?  Intestines. 
You mean that manifests that was Published some years ago, with the title of 
§ Ventriculi querela & opprobria.  The complaints and reproaches of the Stomach.  Prejudice. 
No, no, this is a new War, and of far greater consequence than that you speak of.  Intestines. 
It's then that other, called Every Man his own Physician, or to say better, Every Man his own Murderer, since that ventures upon Physic as well as the College.  Prejudice. 
You think you know every thing, and ye know just nothing at all. These Two Books I tell you are not the question in hand, but the Revolt of the Heart and Stomach against Reason.  Intestines. 
What, do they complain that they have not Victuals enough?  Prejudice. 
On the contrary, they complain that they are too much pampered; and is not that d'ye think, a rare good cause of War: Nevertheless if they go on as they have begun, the Body within a very little, will be no more but a bag full of Bones and a living Carcase.  Intestines 
What'll they get by starving the Body? they'll be the first that suffer. There must be more or less in this matter; to judge well of it we must give them a hearing.  Prejudice. 
Were they both here to speak for themselves, they would but confirm you, that they are entered into a League with Sobriety and Patience, to turn Appetite out of his place, and to discharge the Mouth to take any thing without express orders from them. Nay they are grown so insolent as to have Published, that whoever will join with them in the cause, shall have Health bestowed upon him for a Reward. Consider how extravagant they are, to promise what they have not: And indeed, they had as good say nothing, as to tell us that they have the Heart upon the Lips, and that they speak with an open Heart no body will believe them upon their word.  Intestines. 
A strange disorder, indeed, and may be of dangerous consequence.  Prejudice. 
There is not the least danger for you, however, though our enemies were even become Masters of the Mouth; for Physicians are not without expedients to make the Body subsist without it.  Intestines. 
How without the Mouth?  Prejudice. 
Yes, without the Mouth: For by the help of the smell alone they can make us live like Gods, upon the scent and steam of Perfumes and Sacrifices.  Intestines. 
That will do well enough, for those that live on Smoak. But it must be somewhat more solid, that will do our business.  Prejudice. 
Besides that expedient, the Faculty hath also the Navel and pores of the Skin, for putting relief into the place on all sides, by way of Humectations, Frictions, Epithems, and Imbrocations; and though all these ways should fail, you know, she has the command of a Passage, by which she can send in Provisions for a long Siege; nor are ye ignorant that the Body may be fed by as many avenues as it is purged.  Intestines. 
All that you say is but a tale of a Tub. There is nothing that does the Body good, but what the Stomach receives by the Mouth: But do not you admire, how brisk and quick these grave Doctors are upon the matter? hardly is the War declared but they begin to talk of coming to extremities. We therefore conclude that if the Heart and Stomach require no more of us, but a little Fasting, and will give us now and then somewhat to keep us from being idle, we are resolved to be on their side.  Prejudice. 
What do you think that ye can hold out long, without solid Food twice a day, and that in abundance too?  Intestines. 
There is nothing more common for Beasts of Prey such as we are, than to spend whole days without eating.  Prejudice. 
A very Honourable thing, indeed, for a River of a long course to run dry.  Intestines. 
To run dry, is not the thing that troubles us; if they were not more disturbed above, than we are here below, we should not have the violent Tides of the Ebbs and Flow of the Ocean of Medicine to stem twice a day, which much interrupts the course of our Navigation.  Prejudice. 
Are these the thanks that are due for the Refreshments that are sent you? You set up for Informers upon account of the Commerce ye have with the missentery, by means of a great many little Vessels; but we'll quickly see if with Pinchgut you can make as much noise, as with full allowance.  Intestines. 
You are too happy aloft, if ye knew it, that we carry so fair with your irregularities; and that by our continual application to separate the pure from the impure, we lay up store for your plumpness and the fresh colours that beautify your complexion.  Prejudice. 
If you do us a great kindness that way, we are not unthankful for it; for there is ne'er an one of us all, but makes a God of his Belly.  Intestines. 
If upon that consideration you have offered us any Sacrifice, it is you that have all the pleasure and we all the pain. Nay you have found it to be so, for we have not suffered without grumbling.  Prejudice. 
Don't repine at your condition; there is none amongst us more to be envied; your Dominion reaches from one end to the other of our Empire. You command the inlets and most frequent outlets of the Kingdom. The whole Members of the State labour for you: So that in Justice and gratitude, ye ought to declare in favour of Reason whom I represent. The Reins, Liver, Pancreas, and many others are on our side; and we have already, according to the opinion of the Ancients, acknowledged the Liver for the Original of the Blood, and by consequence, of life: In so much that it hath been resolved, that in that quality he shall bear rule over the Body, next and immediately under Reason.  Intestines. 
It is n●t the first time a Log has been made a King.  Prejudice. 
That Log however will not suffer a contempt from the Frogs: Seeing punishment and reward, are the great hinges on which the most flourishing States turn, the Liver hath resolved to feed and water the part that discharge their functions well, with pure Blood, and pour out upon the Lazy, and the Rebels the fury of his choler, which is a terrible Thunderbolt that Nature hath put into his hands.  Intestines. 
What will become of the Heart, in the mean time?  Prejudice. 
We'll keep him to his old task of labouring Night and Day, to rack the Blood as Cooper's do Wine, pouring it out of one Vessel into another.  Intestines. 
Confess the truth, there is a great deal of gall in your Party; and you'll be sensible  it be long that your General uses mortal rigours.  Prejudice. 
And is the Heart without them? that's a thing in a manner, inseparable from Government. If the Heart hath no gall, he hath his melancholy and anxieties, which are full as bad. Delay no longer then, to list yourself for the Good Old Cause; if ye make but the least hesitation ye are undone.  Intestines. 
We are not afraid of you; all that we can do for you is to stand neuter, giving free passage to both Parties; if you expect more of us, we declare that we'll stick by the Heart, who labours Day and Night to animate and cherish all our Low-countrieses.  Prejudice. 
I know the Heart better than ye do: He is a braggadocio who trusting to the advantageous Post wherein Nature hath placed him, thinks he may from thence huff and threaten all the World; but do but scratch him and he is dead: Say but an angry word to him and he is all in a rage: Let him but see his own Blood and he saints: Does he but pass his usual hour of eating and he falls into fits: The least surprise puts him into a palpitiation: Has he a mind to any thing, he puts all into trouble and confusion, without listening to Reason, and even then too when he has not the least cause of complaining, nay quite forgetting himself either gl●ts his brutish Appetite, to the ruin of the Body, or he gives himself over as a Prey to his own Passions, which rend and consume him: In fine he is a fool, and so great an enemy to repose, that he'll neither rest himself, nor suffer others to do so, and has so many odd and capricious Freaks, that to teach him better manners, we'll have him as well as the Stomach to submit to the Liver.  Intestines. 
You think you have said wonders now, but to be free with you, you are neither pleasant enough to make us merry, nor learned enough to make us change our sentiment.  Preju. 
If I have not Rhetoric enough to persuade, I have power to make me be obeyed: With the Rabble force must stand in the stead of Eloquence. Resolve then instantly to follow the Party I propose, or I'll use you like miserable crawling Infects, whose 
a The Guts move like Earthworms.  vermiculary motions I know how to put a stop to, when ever I think fit.  Intestines. 
We fear you not, we are 
b There are six Guts joined to one another.  Six Brethren, invincible because inseparable.  Prejudice. 
Is not this insolence in the dregs of the People, to be wondered at? it will not be long before I see them reduced to a 
* A Disease.  miserere; for they are so sullen and hypochondriacal that they strangle themselves.  Intestines. 
If we strangle our-selves, you'll suffer as much as we. And as to the positive resolution you demand, know that your being on the one side, is enough to make us of the other.  Prejudice. 
Ye imagine that it will be mighty convenient for you to have your Channels contracted, and Sluices made in them, because ye fancy that ye'l have the liberty to open and shut them when you have a mind: But deceive not yourselves, ye can never pass these Bars, whatever Abstinence and Diet may promise you, without the assistance of the Faculty. Therefore stand no longer at SHALL I, SHALL I; but speedily join in interest with her; ye know that she hath always looked upon you as the Basis and Foundation of her Art; if ye refuse, she'll rather suffer you to burst a Thousand times, than to give you a minute's ease.  Intestines. 
What can she do to us in time of open War, when she uses Fire and Sword against us in the midst of secure peace. And therefore, That for both your threaten, there's Wind for ye.  Prejudice. 
What, do ye grumble, and have ye the insolence to mock the Thunder: I wonder no more that you are in bad odure in the World. But it will be to much purpose for you to hid yourselves; we know how to find you out in the obscurity of your lurking hole, and we shall see how ye'l behave yourselves at sight of Canon, and when the Petard is fastened to the Gate.   

Eighth Dialogue. Prejudice is supposed to be coming out of the House of a Physician whom we do not see, and that at the door she says to him.  Prejudice. Patience. Prejudice. 
YOu may rely upon me; all shall be punctually done according as you have ordered: but fail not to come to Morrow Morning and see the effects of what you have promised me: In the mean time accept of this token of my Gratitude. Above all things— ho, ho; so soon as ever they have fingered our Money, they shut the door, and will hear us no more: My comfort is, he has put somewhat into my hands that will revenge me on my Enemies. Without loss of time, let us run then and put the Irons into the fire— But here comes Patience; we must carry it as if she were on our side, for fear she escape us.  Patience. 
You go in great haste. Tell me pray whither do you run? who Presses you?  Prejudice. 
Not you Lazy Lout, who would have every Body go like a Tortoise as you do.  Patience. 
But still, what Paper is that you hug in your Bosom, with so much gladness?  Prejudice. 
It's a Paper of great virtue, for it's going to restore the lost Appetite and vigour to a sick Person that is in a desperate condition, and in short to bring one from Death to Life again, who at present has neither Hands nor Feet to help himself. If you are not satisfied, read it.  Patience. 
That is sooner said than done; ha'! what is this? the oddest kind of Writing, and most extravagant Hyeroglyphicks that I ever saw: There must be something of the Black Art in this: It's a Charm or Spell; and if it produce the effect you expect from it, the Devil must be in it.  Prejudice. 
Well, well; the Charms and compacts you speak of, are only practised by Outlandish Doctors, 
§ The opinion of a Famous Physician, concerning Talbors Secret.  who for the discovery of a Specific which they have brought over to us, have not only given themselves to the Devil, but also covenanted to deliver up to him, all those that make use of it. Now, I think you are satisfied that the Doctors of the College would not make use of a Medicine till first they had stripped it of all its Charms, and transformed it after their way.  Patience. 
What, do your Doctors fear Spells and Charms? they must be sent then to Mr. Webster to be cured of the fear of Witches; but to come to this Paper again, wherein I cannot understand a Letter, tell me who scribbled it, for I cannot persuade myself that it is the Handwriting of a Man in his Senses.  Prejudice. 
And yet it is the Writing of so wise a Man, that he deserves to be adored.  Patience. 
Pray, what is there in him that is adorable.  Prejudice. 
Can there be any thing more Divine, than by the means of this Bill, to see five or six Specificks made up into a little Pill; which without nauseousness or pain entering into the Stomach, begin their work by quenching a burning heat; which by intervals sent up thicker Smoke and Vapours than a Glass-house; having scoured and well corroborated the ventricle, 
* The Stomach.  they march out and divide themselves, some this way, some that way, for putting their different Orders in Execution. One of them joins the Chile; and following it through its long wind and meanders, accompanies it along the Milky Veins till it arrive at the Heart; which it comforts and refreshes so benignly, that the circulation thereby is rendered more quick and better: Coming out from thence, it divides itself into an infinite number of Particles, and following the fortune of the Arteries, it leaves behind it to the disposition of the Glandules, all the Serosities from which it hath purified the Blood: This being done, it rejoins the Brain, where it Refines the Blood in such a manner, that it Transforms the same into a Nervous Juice, and then into Animal Spirits, which dissipate and drive away those mists that causes Vertigo's and Dilirium's. In the mean time the other Specificks are not asleep. One takes the charge of emptying the Gall, and leaves no more choler in it, than what is enough from Hand to Mouth, to serve for ferment and vehicle for the march of Aliments. From thence it passes through the lob's of the Liver, where it visits and repairs the Percolatoreiss and Strainers of the Blood, in the Neighbourhood of this, one resolutely makes head against the Misentery, there to quench another fire composed of Sulphur and Pitch, the malignity whereof makes people Hyphocondriacal. Another labours in cleansing the Spleen, and allaying its humours, dextrously facilitating the course of the pancreatic juice, which had been corrupted by an inveterate obstruction. Having thus all of them with emulation forced the gross humours to flight by the common road of the Guts, and thereby subdued the Intemperaries of the entrails, they muster altogether in the Region of the Reins: But before they enter them, they sport a little, in draining the A●rabiliarious Capsules of a melancholy humour. In fine, traversing the Reins, where they leave not the least impurity, by the way of the Vretors they descend into the Bladder, from whence they victoriously Sally forth in a full stream, leading with them in Triumph whatever opposed the course of their Victory.  Patience. 
What a deal of ground have you beat, and how many discoveries have you made? how skilful are you in the Geography of the little World? and how nobly do you relate the exploits of your Hero's? An Historian that had your Talents might impose what he would upon credulous minds: Nevertheless none but Patience could have heard so many absurdities, without interrupting you. Is it possible that one can invent such gross Fables, and dare to give them out for truths.  Prejudice. 
I say nothing but what I know to be true, having seen it a Hundred and a Hundred times. You ought therefore to believe me.  Patience. 
Since you are so very serious in your answer, I must be so too. I suppose that for attaining to the knowledge you brag of, you have with singular application, dissected in presence of your Doctors, a great number of dead Bodies, and living Creatures. What have you discovered in all that labour? the situation and conformity of the most apparent parts: What have you learned by seeing them? The simple Letters of the Alphabet of a true Anatomy: By consequent, you are very far from being able to understand any thing in the Book of the Body of M●n. For the proof of this, open that Book in what part you please, and you'll find that Nature who hath Composed it, divides and subdivides itself at first into so many little Particles, and so imperceptible, that they immediately escape the nimblest fingers, and most piercing sight: So that your adorable Doctors ought to be tossed in a Blanket, if they maintain that one can attain to a certain knowledge of things, by means of those minute Particles.  Prejudice. 
We don't talk of Anatomy but of Specificks, of whose virtues and effects I brag, because I know them.  Patience. 
How can you know the Nature of Specificks, when your Doctors know not to this day, why Seine purges Choler, or Chervill purifies the Blood? but suppose you knew the virtue of Simples and of Drogues: Who hath assured you, that when they are mixed and blended together, their different virtues do not destroy one another: And though they should not destroy one another in the Pill, what is it that separates and disentangles them in the Stomach? who guides them into the different Regions of the Body, where the Faculty hath assigned them their Province, whither you follow them step by step, and from whence you return with them in Triumph?  Prejudice. 
You would not start so many difficulties, if you knew as well as I do, that Nature does with extreme joy receive all that her dear Daughter the Faculty sends her. It is that good Mother who releases the Specificks from the constraint, to which the narrow passage of the Heart had reduced them, and sets them at liberty to produce their several effects, as I have just now told you.  Patience. 
I imagined, that having found you so serious before, you would not have spoken any thing more but what was real and solid; nevertheless you relapse again into the Romance, not to say the foppery of Medicine: Have you forgot that it is the part of an able Physician to assist Nature, and not of Nature to second the whimsies and capries of an ignorant? he that would be of your opinion, must renounce common sense, and confess that Nature dotes.  Prejudice. 
I shall not examine whither Nature dote or not; but I maintain that Physicians are never out in the proceed they have with her.  Patience. 
How could your Masters have fully instructed you in all those particularites of Nature; when they themselves are not as yet certain, whither the Blood be made in the Liver or in the Heart: Who call the Spleen a useless part, and who cannot conjecture what can be the use and function of the Pancreas.  Prejudice. 
What matters it, in effect where the Blood be made, and what need we care for knowing the necessity and use of the parts you speak of? It's our part to look when the House is foul, how we are to set about the cleaning of it. Provided one ease your shoulders of a Burden, what's that to you, how or by whom it is done; it is enough you are discharged of it.  Patience. 
Pardon me there; it concerns me very much to know what course you take to make clean my House: Fo●… the furniture must not be thrown out●… Window with the filth, as it daily happens to you; and far less with the burde●… must the Skin be pulled off of our Shoulders, as your pretended Specificks disguised into Physic do.  Prejudice. 
I don't understand what yo●… mean, speak more intelligibly, if you expect an answer.  Patience. 
Well, I'll explain myself; take it then thus: No sooner has the Stomach notice that it must take Physic●… to Morrow, but the whole Body is seized with sadness and horror, so that i●… enjoys no more pleasure nor repose. Is the hour come when the Cup is to be drunk, hardly hath Reluctancy giv'● a minute's respite to the Mouth to take the Physic, but that the Heart rises i●… favour of the Stomach, to the iver it from the same; and when the Heart succeeds not, all is in a stir and commotion, and the Hickock Rings the Alarm Bell.  Prejudice. 
There's ridiculous stuff indeed.  Patience. 
In that trouble and agitation the good humours that are irritated, move, and march to the place where the enemy appears, with design to stop that Poison at the Fountain head, and make it turn back the same way it came. But when Vomiting has miss its blow, and the main Body of the Medicine hath unhappily got into the Guts, the humours change their Battery, drive the Physic before them, and pursue it downward with so much eagerness that most part of them are lost with it. In the mean time the Doctor accustomed to impose upon Nature, though he see by what is done, the mischief he hath caused; Proclaims his Victory, whilst the Patient deplores his losses, though he hath vanquished the Poison.  Prejudice. 
You talk of humours and Physic, as a blind Man does of Colours.  Patience. 
However, I know by experience, that Physic serves not so much to drive out the bad humours as to corrupt the good; for a Purge produces the same effects in a sound Body, as in a sick.  Prejudice. 
Say whatever you can, I maintain that it is the Physic that drives the bad humours out of the Body; and not the good humours that drive out the Physic.  Patience. 
There is no talking of different humours, when one hath Physic in his Body, for it makes them all bad: Physic then in the Body is like dust thrown upon a crawling Snail: The poor creature to deliver itself from that unexpected obstacle, presently retreats within its shell, and with the loss of its sweat comes out again delivered from the impediment that hindered it from continuing its Journey.  Prejudice. 
You may say all that you please, but you cannot deny that Physic restores the Patient to his lost Appetite.  Patience. 
If the Patient recover his Appetite, he is not to thank the Physic for that, but Nature, which perceiving after the fight that I was just now discribing, that the Patient's Forces have been much weakened, order the Taste, the Smell, and the Appetite, to take whatever shall be offered them, for recruiting, with all expedition, the losses sustained, that so, what the Poison of the physic hath discomposed, may be instantly put into order and frame again.  Prejudice. 
Your fictions are fully as Romantic as mine, and all that can be said is, that such Rebels as you are cannot abide Physicians.  Patience. 
On the contrary, we would have every Man to be his own: But our Physicians are not like yours, who make both the foul and fair Wether, in your Diseases. We would have our Physicians in all things, and at all times, refer themselves to Nature, and make it their chief business to lay up a stock of cheerfulness and delight, whereby we might season every thing: For we neither take nor do any thing, if there be not somewhat of content and satisfaction in it, so that we live, nay, and I dare say, that we die with delight. Delight is a Coin that passes as currant with us as it did in the Golden-Age: For we esteem things no otherways but according to the measure of delight that they afford us. In fine delight is a quintessence without which no enjoyment of Life seems good to us, and we hold it for a maxim that cheerfulness and delight refresh the mind, increase the vigour of Body, preserve Youth, and prolong Life.  Prejudice. 
No Body doubts but that delight and cheerfulness have all the Virtues you name; the difficulty is only where it is to be had and how prepared.  Pati. 
You may easily believe that it is not to be found at the Droguists, nor prepared in the shops of Apothecaries. But inform yourself of all the innocent pleasures that are in the World; in these pure sources, Nature would have us look for delight, which every one of us according to our Palate should accommodate to our own necessities,  Prejudice. 
If your Health be not more solid than your Physic, I shall believe you to be in great danger when you are sick, for my part I'll stick by the Mainmast, I find that the Faculty governs so well this Machine of Man, that I think it cannot be committed to the care of better hands  Patience. 
So much and no more would a skilful Watch maker say of a Watch, when he had examined all the pieces of it: But can a Physician do the same with your pretended Machine of the Body? having taken it to pieces, can he set it again in Motion?  Prejudice. 
You would not be much out of the way, if the Machine we speak of, were made up like a Watch: It is enough that our Doctors have the Key of our Machine, that opens and shuts the door to Health and Diseases.  Patience. 
Nay, truly I believe your Doctors have a Key that opens the door to Diseases, and with a grim look, shuts it upon Health.  Patience. 
What d'ye say of a grim look? is there any thing so refreshing to a sick person as the sight of a Physician?  Physician. 
A Patient that rejoiceth at the sight of a Physician, is sicker in mind than in Body: And every Patient that willingly takes what his Physician prescribes to him, if he be not his own Murderer, he is at least accessary to his own Death.  Prejudice. 
He! who can oblige a sick person to take any thing against his will?  Patience. 
A Mother, a Wife, a Child, an old Servant, who being seduced or frightened by a crowd of Physicians, change their love and friendship into Persecution and Tyranny, all declaring for the Physicians whom they love not, against a dying person whom they adore: So that striving to save the Patient, they kill him; giving him no rest, till he be delivered up bound hand and foot, to the Surgeon, and till he hath swallowed down the quid pro quo, of the Apothecary; for all know the Doctor's hand, but no Body can read it.  Prejudice. 
You put me now in mind of my Bill, give it me again, I pray, that I may put it into the hands of those who can make better use of it than you.  Patience. 
Take it, I know nothing it is good for; but I cannot conceive, how a Man, that dares not trust his Purse to his friend, commits his Life to a Physician whom he knows not.  Preju. 
I'll answer you another time. I have lost but too much time with you already; farewell enemy of Physicians.  Patience. 
You're mistaken, I'm only an enemy to their bad practice.  Prejudice. 
And for my part, such as it is, I reverence it, and am persuaded it works good effects, let me then fly away with my dear Bill, and hear you no more.  Patience. 
She is already got so far, that she cannot hear me; I must make the best of her absence, and of a meeting that I am to have with Reflection, for endeavouring the re-establishment of our little Empire. If this misunderstanding continue any longer, It will undo us, and involve us all in the common misfortune.   

Ninth Dialogue. Reflection reconciles Reason with the Heart and Stomach; and they resolve unanimously to renounce Physic.  Reflection. The Heart. Reason. The Stomach. Reflection. 
LEt not the Heart and Stomach any longer blame the conduct Reason has for some time followed. She hath been Prejudiced, it is true, but as it is great wisdom to forget a fault, so let us speak no more of what is past; and let there be no more rancour and animosity amongst us.  Heart. 
Reason then, does at length confess that she is not infallible.  Reflection. 
Neither is she so guilty as you take her to be. Consider that it was impossible for her to have acted otherways than she hath done, during the impetuosity of hot headed Youth; she was alone, and had none to stand by her, without Experience, encompassed with bad examples, solicited by Appetites, authorised by custom, and flattered by the Senses, how could she resist so many powers?  Heart. 
Had that been all, she had been in some measure excusable; bu● so soon as she gets out of one Gulf, must she throw herself headlong into another?  Reflection. 
I am of the same opinion as you are of, that to remedy the excesses of the Mouth, she had better have consulted Nature than Physicians: But there are some things which appear so charming at first sight, that we embrace them with pleasure; thinking ourselves sure that the sequel will answer the beginning.  Heart. 
That's the case with those who are Prejudiced; they imagine that the beaten Road is the safest way.  Reflection. 
Who can be armed against that, Reason gliding along with the stream of Medicine; hath been as a great many more, carried out into the open Sea, contrary to her expectation and desire.  Heart. 
She who suggests to the wise, not to Sail but along the Coast, why did not she put in to shore again.  Reflection. 
What can one do, the first time that he is tossed with Winds and Tempests? so that it is no wonder, if in that confusion she abandoned the Helm.  Heart. 
But to whom did she abandon it?  Reflection. 
To those whom she took to be sincere and able persons, because with extreme confidence they offered themselves in time of danger; but time hath made her but too sensible since, that all they sought for was to make advantage of her misfortune, and to be instructed at her cost.  Heart. 
Nay, so far were they from serving her, that I know their doubts and irresolutions have represented Death to her, nearer than the Winds and Waves in the height of their rage have done.  Reflection. 
The truth is, these ignorant Pilots have put her into greater danger by their bad working of the Vessel, than if she had only had the Storm and foul weather to struggle with.  Heart. 
It could not otherways be.  Reflection. 
Be it as it will, all of them being now at their wit's end, and knowing no more what to do, they left themselves to the mercy of the Winds and Sea, which having long tossed their Vessel, cast it at length shattered and weather beaten upon the shore; so that they who were still alive, were not to be known, they looked so like dead Men.  Heart. 
What said Prejudice to that?  Reflection. 
I forgot to tell you, that in the height of the Storm, a gust of Wind carried her overboard, and she perished in the Sea, to the great content of all: Insomuch that she hath not been lamented by any.  Heart. 
That's the fate of bad Favourites, who are not so much as pitied by those whom they have obliged; Reason ought to be very well satisfied, in that she is at the same time delivered of an unworthy Favourite, and Cured of the malady of Physicians.  Reflection. 
The pleasure of a past danger is only sweet to those, who are no more in fear of falling into another. All Reasons care at present is, how to find means of giving vigour to a decayed Body, and of recovering Health at any rate.  Heart. 
Probably, she is in discourse with the Stomach, since neither of them have come to our conference.  Reflection 
It may be so. However tell me I pray you, what you think of this change.  Heart. 
Seeing, we are in my opinion, more obliged to you than to Reason, for the resolution she hath taken, it's you whom we ought chief to thank for it; but since they who most deserve praises, desire lest to hear them, I shall only tell you, that our Counsels tend to nothing else, but to beseech Reason that she would preserve the Body from sickness, and the Mind from trouble and anxiety.  Reflection. 
What must be done for compassing of that? for you have cut out a great deal of work in a very few words.  Heart. 
Let her try all ways to reconcile us perfectly to Nature; engage her to restore us to Health, and suffer us to enjoy it so long as we live; for we do not live, if we be no●… well: For that end, let us by the mediation of Patience and Sobriety, begin to Sacrifice to her that excess of flesh and fat, wherewith the parts of the Body are overcharged, accompanying these Sacrifices with some 
§ Liquors poured out to the Honour of the Gods in Sacrifices.  libations; lest the fire should with what is superfluous, consume also what is necessary.  Reflection. 
What must Reason, in the mean time, do for seconding of Nature?  Heart. 
Let her give orders that we be treated like Children, I mean, that we be fed with Bread, Milk, Fru●t, and all that Nature produces of her own dressing, or that Art pr●pa e● without much labour and pain: Imposing a Law upon us to use them moderately, but with intention still, to allow us afterward stronger and more nourishing Food, if need require.  Reflection. 
I doubt not but that is a good way of living, especially when we have recovered our Health; for I am convinced, that a regular Diet, with a constant and uniform way of Living, is the best means to settle our Health, and avoid Diseases.  Heart. 
How? Suppose in sickness, Nature seemed to press you with an earnest inclination, to commit some little excess, would not ye hearken to her and satisfy her?  Reflection. 
Although these long must be sometimes harkened to and gratified, yet we should not give way to them so much, as not to be always upon our Guard, and use a great deal of circumspection; for Nature being solicitous for our relief, puts us incessantly upon the execution of what she suggests to us, trusting to our own discretion, as to the moderation that is to be observed, and the use that we ought to make of her motions.  Reason. 
Nothing can be better said; I agree wholly in opinion with Reflection and the Heart, and am resolved so to confide in their conduct, that I will apply myself entirely to the functions of the Mind: And therefore I'll only make use of Sight and Hearing, and leave it to the Heart to do as he thinks fit with the Taste and Smell, for the service of the Body.  Reflection. 
If you behave yourself so, it will be said that you pass from one weakness to another; you have not forgot sure, that Reason hath not been given to the Body only to do what pleases itself, but to serve for a counterpoise to that? though at present it seems to you to be in an even Balance, yet how can it resist the continual temptations to which it is exposed, if you watch not constantly over its conduct.  Heart. 
To this you may add, that if Reason take no other care but to study and exercise the Mind, the Body in a ●…rice will languish and decay.  Reflection. 
This obliges me to tell you, that ye ought to act altogether in comfort; carefully to study Nature, and confine your pleasure to a submission to her Laws. Let not Reason then, be any more seduced as to that particular, by those who will come and rattle News to her, as if they were better informed than she: They are fawning flatterers, who endeavour to tickle the Ear, that they may become Masters of the Heart, let her above all things call to mind that Health is free and independent; and that ye ought to use your utmost endeavours, to maintain it in those privileges, when once ye enjoy it.  Reason. 
How blind was I, when I imagined that Reflection took pleasure to mingle sour with our sweet; that we could not be happy when we listened to her, and that to follow her Counsels was to be her Martyr? How do I regrate my folly, in that I have so long acquiesced to what an ill-grounded Prejudice suggested to me in favour of Surfeiting and Physic. For repairing of all these abuses, and so extinguishing that misunderstanding tha●… hath but too long Reigned among us●… let us, I beseech you, be more closel●… linked together, for our own satisfaction●… than we are by the bonds of Nature, for our Interests. Seeing we have but one Heart and one Mouth, let us have also but one will and one desire, that we may never be heard nor seen any more, but altogether in a Body. The better to persuade you to this, I am resolved that as often as Sleep shall seize the Eyes, and Dreams the Head, I will retire into the Heart, whilst all the Body but he takes their rest, to the end I may remedy the alterations and discomposures of the Body, which happen during the day.  Reflection. 
That's a thought and resolution worthy yourself, by that means you'll cut off all these disp●tes, which from time to time arise about the pre-eminence of the Heart or Brain; and under the cover of Sleep you will in that new place, make good use of the leisure it bestows upon you.  Reason. 
I tell ye once more, I'll allot the Night to all that concerns the inside of the Body, and employ the day about the matters without. I hope the Heart will not disapprove this regulation?  Heart. 
I approve and consent to all, but I die.  Reflection. 
What makes the Heart to Sigh so, whence proceed those long gapings and yawnings?  Heart. 
The reason is, because some angry Spirits stir within me, and the advices that are brought me from the Regions of the L●ver and Spleen, assure me that others of the same temper kindle combustions in all parts; and seeing they have ma●e the Diaphragm also to rise, I can expect nothing but Death.  Reason. 
Alas! we are undone, the Heart is without motion.  Reflection. 
I know the cause of that disorder, it's no more but the remains of an old quarrel against Sobriety: Let us not be Alarmed at it, all will do well. Though these mutineers should pursue their rage even to a fainting of the Heart, we must not be startled at it; in all great changes we are ever to expect some small mortification, before things be set to rights.  Stomach. 
If I may have my will, none can calm that Storm sooner than myself. I have just now received a supply sufficient to quell and subdue all these mutineers, who have a design to mount to the Head, under the conduct of Restlessness, to hinder Sleep from entering the place.  Reason. 
I know the Commander of that Party, he is a Debauchee, whom Prejudice and Intemperance have introduced amongst us, and who is the cause of most of our troubles. At first he is agreeable to Youth, who love mirth and pleasure; but it is dangerous to suffer him to usurp too much Authority, because his Ambition thursts after every thing, and if the Stomach can fairly rid us of him, it will be no inconsiderable service.  Stomach. 
The business is done, the heat of these Spirits relents, and Sleep that advances apace will quickly reduce them to Reason, that it may entertain you with a diversion, equivalent to all the pleasures that are to be desired in Life. Let it but be represented in Comedy, and that's enough to ravish you with admiration.  Reflection. 
I know what the matter is, I have been just now told it: And you may give Reason a little hint of it, since she is not to be present at the Play.  Stomach. 
My Memory hath given the argument to Fancy, which will have the Play to be acted by the Company of Dreams: If we'll believe the Imagination, she never Invented so surprising Scenes and Machine's before, and all with design to Represent our perfect and happy Reconciliation. Let Reason then, if she please, that she may not disturb the Play, descend into the Heart, to the end that the Senses being excused from acting abroad in her service, Silence and Tranquillity may favour the design.  Reason. 
Along dear Reflection; let's go and take up our Quarters in the Heart, let us, in the mean time, give way to the Imagination and Dreams to delight the public, and let us leave the conduct of their Eyes to Fancy. When the Galley hath Rowed all Day long, it's but reasonable the Slaves should take their rest in the Night, if one would have them tug at the Oar, and do their duty next day.  Reflection. 
I like the thought of letting the Slaves take Breath, and suffering Sleep and Dreams to sweeten their pains, I likewise commend you for giving the Imagination liberty to do what she pleases; she has been long in possession of the right of Banishing Judgement out of the Dominion of Dreams: And indeed, there is nothing more inconsistent than Judgement and Dreams.  Heart. 
What need all this talk? what are we concerned, let them do wh●t they will, provided Sleep allay our evils, and confirm our reunion? The Stomach promises us, that; he knows how far Sleep is engaged to restore the Body to Health, and since Morpheus is already upon our Eyelids, let him do his duty: It is no small affair to give us Health. Let us quietly expect the effect of these promises. The secret of our Medicine is, to put the Patient in the same state he was in before he was sick.  Reflection. 
Be it known to all the Inhabitants of the little world, that they instantly submit to the Laws of Sleep; to the end, that next Morning they may be all in a condition to return to the diversion of their ordinary employments, and so to continue, until the Muses come in the Evening, and mingle their consort with the pleasures and liberty of a civil and sober Entertainment.   

Tenth Dialogue. Sleep renders Health to the Body.  Sleep. Health. Sleep. 
WHat desire soever I have to acquaint you of what passes, yet you should still be in the Company of Dreams, if the urgent and reiterated Orders of Reason and the Heart, had not forced me to call you from these diversions, and to propose to you in their name, something that's more solid.  Health. 
Why do you listen to that ambitious couple? if you do but in the least comply with their judgement, they'll disturb the quiet of our retreat, and banish you, as they have done formerly, out of the extent of your own Dominion. You know when that happens, that I can have no pleasure in staying here without you.  Sleep. 
But if there be an indispensable necessity of listening to the sentiments of Reason, and following the motions of the Heart; how can one refuse to answer them?  Health. 
Well then, if they must be answered, let us plainly tell them, that since we pretend not to the Honours and Glory which they so fond possess, we pray them not to disturb the innocent Pleasures which we enjoy: For it is no less the happiness of Life to slight what one has not, than to know the right use of what one enjoys. Alas! could one be more happy than I was without them, when you began to speak to me in their name?  Sleep. 
Without doubt you were wholly taken up in Dreams; what pleasant piece, pray, did they represent to ye?  Health. 
It's very true, I thought myself to be an Amazon Queen, who returned Victorious from her Enemies; but just as I was about to enter in Triumph, amidst shouts and acclamations, unto a Palace of Rubies hanging in the Air, and gently moved by the Wind, I was seized with fear; and though I was encompassed with Mirth, Music and Dancing, yet nothing but Sleep could re-assure me. That you may know what kind of pleasure it was, I thought that I Clothed you in my Garments, and that at the same time we were closely linked together by Chains and Flowers. Now though I was exceedingly delighted at this, yet for all that it broke my Dream. What d●ye imagine to be the signification of it?  Sleep. 
That's easily interpreted. The Amazon is Health, the Enemies of whom she Triumphed, are Physicians and Intemperance. The Palace of Rubies moved by the Winds, is the Heart, where Reason would have me carry you, and the Chains that bond us so fast together, are our embraces at parting.  Health. 
Nay, now I perceive you are fonder of Reason, than she was of her Favourite; and I foresee that it will be none of your fault, if both of us renounce not our Independance, and wholly submit to our pleasure.  Sleep. 
Not so neither, I'm only solicitous to inform you, what share you are to have in that reconciliation, and to put you in possession of it.  Health. 
I believe I know as much of that as you do: Be ruled by me, let us let Reason and the Heart alone to torment themselves as much as they please, in finding out measures to repair the disorders of their dissensions, and let us take our rest.  Sleep. 
That would do well enough, if without you they could put in execution, what they are resolving betwixt themselves. They are so convinced of the necessity of having you, that they cease not to send me one Courier at the heels of another, praying me to restore Health to the Body. Will ye refuse me the satisfaction of conducting you to the Heart, and of seeing you triumph there, as you do in all other places where you take delight?  Health. 
Why should I any more appear in those places where I have received so bad usage? have you forgot, that if it had not been for your Protection, I had been long ago out of the World? why then will you undo, what you have so kindly preserved?  Sleep. 
No, I won't undo you, nor so much as expose you to the least danger: We are not now, about to conduct you to the Heart as heretofore, accompanied with the sparks of Youth, which might, in effect, cause your destruction, or at least disturb your tranquillity: You are expected there, without ostentation and magnificence, we are only to acquaint you that Reason is no longer Prejudiced against you, and to give you all manner of assurance that she'll determine nothing concerning you for the future, till first she have consulted Reflection and the Heart about it.  Health 
But if she consult not you also, I shall be in no less danger. No, I wont part f●om you; I cannot be secure without you. Why have you so many Charms? Why does one taste so many pleasures in your Company? Having accustomed me to a still and solitary Life, would you now again Embark me in trouble and confusion?  Sleep. 
You have no cause any more to apprehend these agitations; they have separated pain from them, and left you only the pleasure: Nay, and if that pleasure work in you but the least disgust, give me but a wink, and I shall presently come flying to your assistance: And though nothing should happen that may p●t you out of humour, my tender care of you shall not suffer me to delay till Night, the paying of you a visit; I'll come and steal some moments for you even in the middle of the day: If the Feasting and Plays that they are prepairing for your Entertainment, hinder me not from approaching you.  Health. 
The preparations you speak of, instead of obstructing your design, will facilitate the means of your putting it in execution. I shall even prevent them, if I can, for I have no pleasure but in your Company, and especially at that time of Day, Physicians may say what they will.  Sleep. 
You are then resolved to grant Reason what she desires of you?  Health. 
When Reason form the design of alluring me to the Heart, it ought to have been represented to her how changeable and fickle he is How that after the first congress he'll take no more notice of me. The truth is, he passionately desires what he wants, and sets no value upon what he enjoys. In a word, he is in all things so much upon extremes, that what he'll do to cheer me, will only serve to alter, and perhaps to undo me.  Sleep. 
That diffidence will Vanish, when I have told you what hath been done as to that, for your security and Glory.  Health. 
I desire to know no more; well since you will deliver me up to the Heart, I condescen●. Only tell me how I can be able to bear the grief of our parting.  Sleep. 
Can I, as well as you, appear abroad in the day time, we should be inseparable, but being destined to be sometimes asunder, don't fear that a few hours absence can have any bad influence upon so strict a friendship as ours. Consider that it would be a shame for us to mind only our own repose and pleasure; that's a thought not to be pardoned but in a foolish Love. What trouble soever then, our separation may cause us, let us support it constantly; and let us do so much good to all, that all may love us as much as we do one another.  Health. 
Well to complete what you have begun, let's go to the Heart.  Sleep. 
You do me a singular kindness, but let me tell yo●, th' t ●n the reconciliation that Reason hath just now made with all the part● of the Body, it hath among other things, been ●greed upon: That so soon as Sleep all seize the Eyelids, Reason shall leave the Head and descend into the Heart, there to labour in concert with him, about what concerns the Domestic and internal affairs of the Kingdom.  Health. 
hy hath she chosen that time and place?  Sleep. 
Because the Night gives Council, and all that is done in the Heart is kept more secret than what is acted elsewhere.  Health. 
That aught to bring down the pride of the Brain, who bragged that he alone had the Honour of being the Seat of Reason.  Sleep. 
Ay, and it ought to vex him somewhat more, that they talk of treating of nothing in his Apartment, but of Foreign Affairs: But, what solely concerns you, so soon as Vigilance hath guided Reason from the Heart to the Head, Gladness is to put you in possession of the Heart, where joining your Talents together, you'll have liberty to make yourself desired and cherished of all.  Health. 
Notwithstanding that I have wholly resigned myself to your will, give me leave to tell you once for all, that I cannot conceive how you can love me, and yet bestow me upon another?  Sleep. 
I have said nothing of giving you to another; that word would wound our friendship: I have only engaged myself to leave you in the Heart, so long as Reason shall be in the Head: For when Reason descends from the Head into the Heart, my design is to bring you thence; and not to leave you, so long as she is there. Consider what pleasure we are like to have, in discoursing at leisure of our impatiencies and disquiets: What felicity in visiting the Bounds of our Empire, in scattering our favours in all places, giving to those you have a kindness for, full Brimmers of Sleep, which drives weariness out of the Traveller's Foot, and out of the Tradesman's Hand: Which strips the Heart of his Passions, and the Mind of its most cutting cares. When I endeavour to assuage the sharpness of pains, you shall pour a healing Balsam upon the most desperate Wounds: And whilst I release Slaves from their Chains, you shall give them vigour to carry them when they awake. In fine, if there be any thing wanting to those whose troubles and miseries we would sweeten; we shall order Dreams to afford by Night, what their adverse Fortune denys them by Day.  Health. 
So that leaving every where tokens of our beneficent inclination, we cannot be upbraided, that any are sick and unfortunate in our Empire: Since they shall never suffer, so long as they are under our jurisdiction. But that I may fully understand all these regulations, inform me what Reason is doing with the Heart.  Sleep. 
They are making no new Laws, but are reviving those which were in a m●nner extinct; they have already enacted that if the Health be in the least out of order, the Stomach shall demand nothing; that all the parts of the Body shall listen carefully to hear what the Voice of Nature prescribes; and whilst they wait for her suggestions, the parts that are overcharged, may ease themselves.  Health. 
Now that it is day, and the Sun is going to appear, what does Reason do to prepare for her departed.  Sleep. 
She solicits the Spirits that are dispersed over the Body, to betake themselves to their duty, and with pleasure considers how busy they are to fill the Organs of the Senses, and all the Faculties of the Body, to perform their functions: Just as a General delights to see, how at the first sign given, his Well-Disciplined Soldiers run from all parts to their Arms, and draw up under their Colours, ready to fall on at the least Signal.  Health. 
When all these Spirits are drawn up in Rank and File, as they ought to be, what does Reason then do?  Sleep. 
She leaves the Heart, attended with the Virtues and an infinite number of Spirits, judgement ushering the way; just so, as in the Spring, we see a swarm of young Bees fly confusedly about their new Queen.  Health. 
You give me the description of a very Charming Court.  Sleep. 
That's not all, Reason entering the Head, finds presently all the Ideas which are the Inhabitants of that Empire, Ranked and Drawn up, as Reflection thinks fit to Command; and as exactly as such an innumerable Multitude, with so vast a Train, can allow of in so small a Plot of Ground as the Memory is.  Health. 
You fill me with curiosity.  Sleep. 
All these Ideas march in little Bodies, like the cluster of a swarm of Bees. Each little Body consists of Ideas of the same kind, or near to it, and altogether muster in the Air in form of a Rainbow, which yields the loveliest Prospect in the World. As all these Ideas are overjoyed to see their Queen, so they strive to get to the outside of their Companies, and the motions they make for coming thither, makes a very pleasant variety.  Health. 
Has it only been since Reason retired into the Heart, that she is received in the Head, in the manner you tell me? for I was Banished from thence so young, that all is News to me.  Sleep. 
It hath been so in all times.  Health. 
Whither went Reason then, whilst the Dreams under your Government, possessed the Head, and disposed of the Body?  Sleep. 
Opinions are divided as to that: Some thought she slept; and others that she left the Body to go visit the Place of her Original; for my part, I am in a manner assured that she shut herself up in the understanding, that she might have no hand in the disorders which the Animal part, in conjunction of Dreams, sometimes committed during the time of my Reign.  Health. 
Let's return I pray, to our Ideas; what do these little Myrmidons do, when they perceive their Sovereign?  Sleep. 
They make it their business to observe her, and according as she is melancholy or merry, they cloth themselves with joy or sadness, and that happens as often as Reason changes her countenance: So that more diligent Courtiers are not where to be seen.  Health. 
What does Reason do upon her Arrival?  Sleep. 
Sometimes she makes a review of her Troops, commonly she does but consider the new comers; but one thing, which I cannot very well express to ye, and which requires your best attention; scarcely is Reason seated in her Throne, environed with the Virtues, but they become all so resplendent, that it is difficult to behold their Luster.  Health. 
I very well conceive that the rays and light of the Mind, supply he place of the Sun in this little world, which being reflected upon that numerous Court, renders it so Majestic: But how does Reason act in ordinary Affairs?  Sleep. 
Whether Reason think within herself, or that she make● apparent abroad what is doing within at home, she makes use of two Ministers. The Will is one, which governs the Original of the Nerves, like one that plays upon the Virginals: And the other is Memory, which with unconceivable swiftness mouns the Ideas that are in little Bodies. This being supposed, when Reason acts, she is to be considered as reciting a Lesson of Music, whereof the Will and Memory make the parts: By that means, whatever Reason intimates, the part of the Body which hath the greatest Relation to that Thought, is presently acquainted with it by the Will, which touches its Nerves. And if there be any thing past that quadrats to that thought, the Memory presents the Ideas of it, which the Virtues turn into all views, to set them off in their lively Colours. So that every one has a share in the spectacle, and there is nothing better connected.  Health. 
But how can Memory bring forth an Idea that is confounded with a million of others?  Sleep. 
In the same manner as in an Army drawn up in Battalia, no Soldier answers, but he that is called, or his next Neighbour for him.  Health. 
You describe to me a very singular Harmony.  Sleep. 
But a very just one too: For judgement which beats time, mark the determination of Reason, that are like the Periods of the Cadence in ordinary Music, to which the Organ of the Voice beneath from Time to Time makes answer, accompanied with the gesture of the Hands, and motion of the Eyes; all which together supply the place of the Chorus, in that kind of Natural Opera.  Health. 
That sure requires a great deal of time.  Sleep. 
Not at all, the business is done in an in instant, and all these motions are quickes than .  Health. 
Are these things always performed with that exactness and promptitude you say?  Sleep. 
In such a great consort as this is, it can hardly be, but that there is something many times out of Tune: Nay and sometimes it all is false, even from Reason itself to the Organ of the Voice; but when the evil is of no long continuance, it passes but for some little clashing, which great Courts are not Alarmed at, because they are subject to them.  Health. 
But what when these jarrings continue?  Sleep. 
Then all is out of order, and the State in danger.  Health. 
What is the cause of these errors, and what course is taken to avoid them, and to stop the Progress?  Sleep. 
Such great disorders never ●…appen, but when Reason is drawn away ●…y the violence of some predominant Passion, which usurping a share in he● Sovereign Authority, discomposes the State, and puts it often in danger, which you have seen, so long as Prejudice was in favour.  Health. 
Why do not the Virtues stifie that disorder in the Birth? for it is for that end alone that they are given to Reason.  Sleep. 
Is there any one that performs what is enjoined him punctually? Though Wisdom hold the Virtues linked together, to oblige them neither to rise nor fa●l; it is hard however to be prevented, but that when some certain objects present, they will run Riot: And that's the reason that Liberality sometimes breaks out into profusion, an● that Frugality so often borders upon Covetousness.  Health. 
Who puts a stop then to thei● impetuous motions?  Sleep. 
The great Virtues, which have the power of correcting one another 〈…〉 Prudence moderates Courage; and Reaso●… herself takes Counsel from Reflection. Besides Modesty hath the Inspection over all the Virtues, with power to lay an Arrest upon those that Transgress, delivering them up to Confusion, which is a mercyless Jailor, that exposes th●m to shame under a Purple Veil, which amongst the Virtues is a most severe Punishment.  Health. 
What course ought Reason to follow, that she may not fall into such perplexities.  Sleep. 
To remain indifferent, and rely only upon simplicity and sincerity; to take truth for her guide, and never to look back; that she may avoid the ghastly looks of Sorrow and Repentance. To speak always with the Heart upon the Lips, Integrity attending both, as a surety that answers for all, and justifies the demeanour.  Health. 
I admire what you say, but cannot conceive who can have taught you so much?  Sleep. 
I am obliged to Reflection for this, whom I often assist in ordering the Acts of the Assemblies, whereof she keeps the Records. And therefore I lodge with her, until Reason appear, and take Possession of the Head, with all the Train that I have just now described to you.  Health. 
If I take it, I think I see a crowd of Actors, filling the Scene of a stately Theatre, and impatiently expecting the drawing up of the Cloth, that they may begin to Act.  Sleep. 
It's exactly so, for so soon as the Eye lifts up the Eye Lid, they begin to Act and Vanish.  Health. 
Though I believe all this to be literally true, yet I dare not brag of it; for what comes from you, passes commonly for raving amongst people that are awake.  Sleep. 
Let them think what they please, what does that concern you? Truth needs no approvers; but in my turn, give me leave to tell you, that I cannot conceive neither, what can have moved you to have put so many questions to me; for I never took you to be very curious.  Health. 
Wonder not at that; for so long as you did not talk of parting from me, you were to me instead of all things; but now that you turn me over to others, I would not have it said, that you had taught me nothing. The truth is, I am very ignorant; I love not that Learning which requires Study, and when I am not p●t to it, to defend myself against Intemperance an● Physicians, I mind nothing but cheerfulness and pleasure. It shall not be so for the future; I have a Thousand Questions more to put to ye, concerning Reason and her Court, which I must be informed of.  Sleep. 
You may to day satisfy your desire; I know you'll be called up, and Reason will enlarge in your Praises: Nay she hath resolved for your better Entertainment, to confute the Physicians before your face, that you may be revenged on them for all the mischief they have done you.  Health. 
If their defeat be worth the while, we shall Triumph over them at Night; but don't you perceive that we are entering into a very hot and sultry Air?  Sleep. 
That's because we are hard by the Heart, nay I hear Reason speaking to him; but seeing I am prohibited to enter there, let us stop hear a little, I pray you, and listen to their discourse.   

The Sequel of a DIALOGUE betwixt Reason and the Heart.  Reason. 
THe truth is, we cannot be too sensible of the good office that Sleep has done us, in having protected Health at a time when I cruelly Persecuted her by Feasting and good Cheer; and in that he is about to restore her to us, at present, when we want nothing but her Company to complete our felicity, what can we do for Sleep, in acknowledgement for such a piece of good service?  Heart. 
As Sleep hath given a place of retreat to Health, during the irregularities of the Body, so let us propose it to Health, that she may do the like kindness to Sleep, when the Body flies it: As they love one another dearly, so I make no doubt but they will gladly embrace the offer.  Reason. 
If it be so, let's Marry them together, that so they may be inseparable.  Heart. 
That would be an admirable good Proposal, if the question were how to punish, and not how to reward them. Believe me, that is an insupportable Yoke: The Beautifullest Palace in the World, if we be confined to it, is a more dreadful Prison than a Dungeon, if the door be open. Love admits of no other constraint but what it imposes upon itself.  Reason. 
Well then! I give consent that Love may unite them by its strongest bonds, upon the conditions that Sleep and Health are willing themselves to prescribe. But if I may have my will, Sleep and Health shall be no more Two, but one and the same thing, which the Body is to Reverence under Two different Names.  Heart. 
That is to say, that in the day time they shall appear under the name of Health, and in that quality be respected, so long as the eyes are open: But from the moment that the eye lids are shut, they shall be considered under no other notion but that of Sleep.  Reason. 
Manage that as you please, I am pressed to be gone: I leave this door open to our Lovers, and will go out by the other; my presence suits not always With those who are desperately in Love, and therefore I'll lay no constraint upon them. Receive them as you use to receive those whom you respect most.  Health. 
This is the true Interpretation of my Dream, that I should cover you with my Veil, that you may lack nothing on my part.  Sleep. 
Your Dream imports also that our Arms and Hands should be the Bonds and Chains that render us inseparable.  Health. 
Add for the completing of our happiness, that the Heart receiving us, hugs and unites us closer together, than all the Bonds and Ties of Love can do.   

Eleventh Dialogue. All the parts of the Body are here supposed to be joined together, under the Name of a Patient; that is in conference with a Physician, who does not think him Cured.  The Physician. The Patient. Physician. 
WHat's this I see in that Close-stool? ha'! what a deal of filth and corruption? I know full well you should not escape me: I have caught you, at length, and now you are where I would have you.  Patient. 
And where I would too.  Physician. 
In troth you have reason, d'ye see that ferrugineous Orange-coloured stuff, which I touch with the Point of my Wand, it's the very substance of the Vesicule of the Gall; and these streaks and lays of concocted black matter at the side of it, give us good assurance of the disopilation of the Spleen; ye must needs find yourself much at ease?  Patient. 
And so I am.  Physician. 
And much refreshed?  Patient. 
Sure enough.  Physician. 
Having turned over and over again that vast mass of slimy, concocted, sanguilent and glutinous matter, I find, that it's no wonder your Reins and Bowels were so overcharged; but now, thanks to good Physic, we are in the right way to a speedy Cure; and three or four small subsequent Potions diversified according to the indications of time and of the Disease, will show us the bottom of the Bag, and make us Masters of the Tenacity of that Mesentery: Well, poor unhealthy Creature, what d'ye say to it? would you have all that filth, and those Poisons in your Body again?  Patient. 
No I'll swear, and that's the very reason why I never took it.  Physician. 
Did you not take the Physic which I ordered you last Night, to be taken this Morning?  Patient. 
No.  Physician. 
How not? what I see then is the effect of the clyster you took in the Evening, and of the Julep, when you went to Bed; for this last finding Nature moved by the former, might very well have expelled these laudable matters; in that case you did well to delay your Purge, though I find still great plenitude in this lower Region.  Patient. 
Be satisfied, I have taken nothing at all, and all these Medicines, Glisters, and Juleps, you speak of, so soon as they came out of the Hands of the Apothecary, have been thrown into the Pan of that Closestool; it were to no purpose for me to tell you what effects they have wrought, since you yourself have told that so particularly.  Physician. 
What do I hear? who can have so poisoned your mind, as to make you think of daring to disobey my directions?  Patient. 
Nay, ask me rather, who hath given me an Antidote against your Poisons; for I would have you know that for the future, I intent not to charge desperately through Blood and Physic, without I well know the cause and quarrel.  Physician. 
Ha! I begin to smell a Rat, there must be some Chemist, Empirick, and Mountebank in the case. Well, well, we'll see what'll become on't in time, and when you have paid sufficiently for your experience, you'll be glad at your heart to have recourse to us, when these ignorant Rascals have brought you to the brink of the Grave.  Patient. 
They say as much of you, and not without Reason too; for there is nothing more certain, than that since the College has been convinced that these pretended Empirics have absolved those whom ye condemned to Death, ye have gone to Law with them about it, and resolved amongst yourselves no more to abandon your Patients, until ye have cut and slashed, and as they say, given them an Hundred blows after they are dead; and what is cruelest of all, you put that charitable resolution in execution.  Physician. 
How come you to be in this merry humour I pray? doubtless you have held your Nose over the Books of some 
§ Medela Medicinae Siduham's first Book de Fe bribus, which condemns the Jesuits Powder; with many others.  false Brethren, who have been so base as to Publish in English some Secrets of our Art. But Patience, you have not got your ends yet: If I have any Interest, the College shall invent a new Gibberish, which no body shall be able to understand, and then we'll find ways to revenge ourselves, and our Enemies never be the wiser for it.  Patient. 
That will not do, unless ye add to that new way of Conjuring a Declaration, enjoining all Men to make use of a Medicine that you alone can prepare and distribute. That ye may be surer also of your revenge, and at the same time, glut your Avarice, bring your pharmacy in play: Insomuch that no Medicines may be bought but from Apothecaries, who are to have a Board hanging at their shop doors, with this Inscription in great Gold Letters.  THE OFFICE OF THE COLLEGE OF PHYSICIANS, FOR The Dispensation and Sale of all sorts of Purgatives, Vomitives, Sudorificks, Diuretics, anodynes, etc. Physician. 
Courage! when Children cannot reach the Nuts, they throw stones at them. I desire no more to put a stop to this tattle of yours, but a slight Cold, or the smallest fit of an Ague. Till that happen, Reform your Plea; if any other beside myself heard you, they'd Laugh at ye.  Pa. 
I doubt that; but if it did happen so, I should pity those that might be in the same error I have been in. Physicians have made a fool of me so long, that I think, by turn, I may also Laugh a little at them. The discoveries and demonstrations of the Close-stool have pleased me exceedingly; and indeed, when I see a Dozen of you at consultation together, I fancy I see so many blind Men throwing at a Cock.  Physician. 
Hold there, enough is enough; should I leave you now to your reprobate sense, what would become of you poor wretch, who know neither the quality of Aliments, nor the quantity that is convenient ●or you, nor the time when you ought to take them? who foresee, no more than a Beast, the Diseases ●hat threaten you: And being ignorant of the way of prevention, that might divert them, you would at every turn be exposed to all kinds of Distempers, were it not for our provident care of you.  Patient. 
How dare you boast of prognosticating the future, when you cannot tell what it is you see, touch, and smell? you had need speak of prevention indeed, you who render it so often dangerous and mortal.  Physician. 
Enough is as good as a Feast, hold there, I say.  Patient. 
No, the least Creature that is, knows more than you do, what belongs to precaution and feeding; for without any other advice than that of the Smell and Taste, it avoids what is contrary to it, and sticks to that which is good: Nay, suppose it may perchance eat more at one time than another, forbearing afterward its Food for some little time, sets it to rights again.  Physician. 
But what become of that Animal, if it fall sick? it dies like a Beast without any relief.  Patient. 
On the contrary, if it be any ways indisposed, it lies still, and forbearing (as I told you) to eat, commits itself to Nature, which not being thwarted by Physicians, nor interrupted by their Physic, Cures it without any sharp pains; and conducts it from youth to old age, free from any great infirmity.  Physician. 
I am glad to hear a Man Rank himself among the Beasts, and to submit his Reason to their instinct.  Patient. 
Not so neither; I do not think myself more skilful for the Preservation of my Bodily Health than Beasts are for the Preservation of theirs. If their reasoning be short, it is solid, and if ours be large, it is the more wavering. Whence I conclude, that if there be fewer Wheels and Movements in their Clock than in ours, it is the truer for that; and all our strikings and Alarms, our Minutes and Seconds, with the Moon and Tide, serve only to put us the more out of order.  Physician. 
I confess the Wheels of your noddle are a little too much out of order; you must of necessity be let Blood, and that quickly too, in the Foot, and in the Arm successively, without interruption.  Patient. 
Nay, since the matter requires so much haste, you might have sooner said in all the four Limbs.  Physician. 
You Laugh, but it is no Laughing matter; nay, if Blooding you in the Arm and Foot be not enough, we'll Blood you in the Neck, in the Tongue, and all over, if we have a mind to it.  Patient. 
It is not said without ground, that it's far better to do as Physicians do, than to do as they bid you do.  Physician. 
This Itch of tattling, shows a depravatian of the Organ, and a great tendency to a sudden Frenzy. To prevent this volubility of Tongue, an●… swiftness of the Pulse, we must proceed by speedy and Specific ways. Quickl●… then, go call the first Surgeon, warm some water, make ready bands, bu●… chief let us raise this Head, and appl●… a Live Pigeon to it with all its Feathers, to fortify the weakness of the Brain.  Patient. 
If the last Remedy you speak of be good, it's more proper for you than me: But it is strange that you forbidden others to make any noise about sick people, and yet keep such a stamping with your Foot, and a bawling with your Directions, which will not be obeyed. I am so weary of hearing you give your Directions, and so sick of obeying them; that I'll have my turn of ordering too. Hold your Tongue then, I command you; or I'll make you be quiet, for I am Master here.  Physician. 
hay day, here's sauciness indeed! The World's turned topsie turvie. Fire, fire, where  find enough of Nenuphar water, and of the Salt of Saturn to assist the Boiling and effervescence of a Blood and Choler, which send out Fire and Flames into all parts. Arides quickly, hay, to curb these Alcalis: And that we may join Topics to internal Medicines, let a cooling bath of Frogs Spawn be forthwith made ready, but above all things let their be Calves and Lambs in readiness, for this will not be over without transfusion.  Patient. 
Can there be more extravagancy said in fewer words?  Physician. 
What a deal of Veal Broth, and Chicken Broth must pass through this Body? not to reckon the Emulsions, Apozems, and Soporificks, which go before the use of the juice of Chervil, and of Whey clarified with Fumetory.  Patient. 
If we'll believe one Sect of Physicians, all Diseases proceed from heat, and stand in need only of Blood letting and cooling Medicines. Consult an other sort, and they'll tell ye that the same Diseases are caused only by the extinction of the Spirits; and that, very far from Blood-letting, the Natural Heat is to be strengthened and increased. These Prescribe Wine, Cordials, Nourishing Food and open Air. Those again, at first cut you short of your commons●… blash your Stomach with cold Liquors▪ and thin Broths, and choke you up in 〈…〉 close and stifling Air; as if outward cooling were more dangerous than those Drenches wherewith they inwardly chil●… the Body: What is to be done in such 〈…〉 contrariety?  Physician. 
You confound the offensive with the defensive. A Conqueror cannot signalise himself without effusion of Blood.  Patient. 
The Question here is not of making Conquests. I pretend that every sick Person is upon the defensive, and that by consequent he ought to imitate the example of that great General 
* Who by delaying Re-established the Commonwealth.  qui cunctando restituit rem. Besides, seeing Cold is the Symbol of Death, were it not better to quicken and increase out Natural heat, than to diminish and extinguish it? at least, I find myself so well with this Maxim, that I'll keep ●…s I am.  Physician. 
In what condition then do you take yourself to be?  Patient. 
Nay I ask you that Question?  Physician. 
How can I know if you do not tell me?  Patient. 
You don't know than so much as a Farrier, that Cures Horses without making them tell him what they ail.  Physician. 
Fie, Fie, are not you ashamed to say such mean things, I should be madder than you, if I did take notice of that old impatience.  Patient. 
Leave those slighting terms to your Physicians, from whom they have been borrowed. One should never say Fie, Fie, but of Physic, and all that belongs to it.  Physician. 
Ha! spare your Quirks, I am not for idle quiddities, but solid Reasons. Tell me then seriously, if you can, you who talk so much of Nature and Sickness, what Nature and Sickness are: For I will so stop your Mouth, that you shall not have so much as a Pun or quibble to say.  Patient. 
It's a very easy matter to satisfy you, as thus. Nature and Sickness are the heads of two contrary Parties: You are for Sickness, and I for Nature: You fight for Death, and I for Life.  Physician. 
What do I take the part of Sickness, who make Medicine consist in waging War against it.  Patient. 
Call you that to make War against Sickness, to pitch upon the time when Nature is engaged with it, to fall foul upon her, robbing her of her Blood when she requires strength, and giving her Poisons to fight with, when she is ready to succumb under her Adversary? to this you may add, that if in the heat of this War, Nature makes a Truce to take a little Breath; presently you Cupp, Scarify, Probe, clyster, and so alter the state of Affairs, that Victory which inclined to Nature, turns to the other ●…de, to Death.  Physician. 
And ye pretended Cham●…ions of Nature what do ye do?  Patient. 
Seeing we have not the vanity ●…o Impose any orders upon her, we do ●…o more but send her the Assistance she demands, and without puzzling ourselves ●…o know if the Enemy be in the Blood or ●…n the Humours, when we have well re●…ruited Nature, we are certain that she'll overcome the evil, because no force but that of Nature is able to subdue Diseases.  Physician. 
Who doubts that? and therefore our whole intent is so to manage the strength of the Patient, that we may gradually bring him to Health again.  Patient. 
Nevertheless your practice is quite contrary. Are Physicians called in the beginning of a Sickness; they come prepossessed, that the Town is full of none but Enemies; and in that persuasion, as soon as they enter they Charge all they meet with, without distinguishing the good from the bad, 〈…〉 the innocent from the guilty. Seeing 〈…〉 they propose to themselves is the cle●… evacuation of the place; when they hav●… got their ends, they cry, The Town our own, imagining that it will be as eas●… for them to repeople it with new Colonies, as it was to drive out the old Inhabitants. But the Land of Church yards rises in Judgement against thes●… mortal practices.  Physician. 
I see you know not wha●… metal Physicians are made of, if yo●… knew them better, you would not speak of them as you do.  Patient. 
I know them so well, that i●… you please, I'll give you a Character of them in two words.  Physician. 
Let's hear that.  Patient. 
They are Blades feed to entertain the Patient with cramp words and flim-flams, until Nature Cures him, or Physic kill him.  Physician. 
You are a fool in the highest degree, and nothing less than a Miracle can Cure you of your Frenzy.  Patient. 
I am not at all afraid of my Distemper; but I should have cause enough to be afraid of Physicians, were I fool enough to trust them any more: call then what you please, the condition I am in, I am not resolved to change it.  Physician. 
Keep in your fool's Paradise. However tell me, why are ye so great an enemy to Physicians?  Patient. 
I'm an enemy only to their practice. I cannot endure that they should insolently impose upon credulous minds; and that under the veil of Nature, they should follow a rotten method, which makes them prescribe the same things in all Diseases, without respect to Sex, Age, Constitution, Climate, or Season; And that trusting to their Privilege, and that the Law obliges them not to take out a Pardon under the Great Seal, they kill all indifferently both Friends and Fee●.  Physician. 
You think then we have no conscience.  Patient. 
Not so altogether; but i●… may be with your Consciences, as with the Dogs to whom your Anatomists cu●… the 
* That's a very ordinary experiment.  recurvent Nerves to hinder them from Barking.  Physician. 
And so you conclude that the Faculties is like the 
§ That is a story well known, and mentioned in the History of the Holy War.  Old Man of the Mountains and his Asassins': I mean that she breeds her Sons, if not with design to dispatch all Men, yet at least with prospect of killing methodically all our Patients.  Patient. 
No I do not think you kil●… them deliberately and with design; no, your ignorance is more to be blamed ●…han your malice for such Murders; and we are persuaded that it is no fault of yours, if your Patients and their Infirmities be not immortal.  Physician. 
To hear you speak, a Body would think that Physicians never Cured any Man.  Patient. 
Nor are they, indeed cut out for curing the sick, but for comforting those who survive the dead.  Physician. 
Nevertheless, were I to engage in open War against the Heretics of Medicine, such as you are, I should desire no other aid for overthrowing of them, than the assistance of those who own their Life to my skill and labours.  Patient. 
In that case, I should look upon you to be so ill accompanied, that I would make Conscience of bringing a second with me; because the Laws of Honour do not allow two to fight against one.  Physician. 
If all were of your mind, I perceive, we should be once more banished the Commonwealth.  Patient. 
That would not be now to be done, if at present Men desired, as than they did, to have Families numerous in Children; but seeing now adays they are thought most happy who have none at all, and that ye contribute much to the attaining to that felicity; ye are looked upon as a necessary evil; nay it is the present mode too, that every one dy●… after your way. And to complete your good Fortune, the Dead who ought to call you to an account, are not revengeful; and the Widow and Heir who ey●… the Estate more than revenge, let you live in peace.  Physician. 
And so at one clap we are both accused and Sentenced, and may a next step be hanged up too, if any Body will be at the charge of it. But hav●… you forgot that golden Sentence 
* Honour the Physican for necessity sake.  Honora medicum propter necessitatem.  Patient. 
No I han't; and for proof of that, Honour the Physician in Greek, signifies pay him his Fee, which I never failed to do, that I might confirm you in your Aphorism, 
§ Galen gives Riches.  Dat Galenus Opens. But have not you likewise observed in the same place were you had your Golden Sentence, that the Lord having promised long Life to those whom he Loves, adds that to be avenged on him that offends, ●…he will make him fall into the hands of Physicians?  Physician. 
Sure enough, to the end the Physician may render him good for evil.  Patient. 
However, if you'll believe a great 
(1) Corn, a Lapide, Ecclesiasticus c. 38.15.  Commentatour upon the passage, he'll make it out to ye, that a sikness is like a criminel procass; that the Patient on that occasion is the Prisoner, the Instruments of Chirurgery, and the Potions of the Apothecary, the Engines of the Rack and Torture; the Lord, the Judge, and the Physician, the Executioner.  Physician. 
These Doctor's fancy that the Books which they comment, are like the Ringing of Bells; and it's an old saying ye know, As the Fool thinks, the Bell clinks.  Patient. 
To justify these Authors, I could load you with an infinite number of uncontroverted instances, but I shall content myself with these Two Verses.  

(2) The King and Queen of ENGLAND died by the hands of the Executioners. Cromwell put him to Death, and the Physicians her.  Carnificum periere manu Rex Anglus & Vxor,  
Sustulit hunc Cromwell, sustulit hanc Medicus.  Physician. 
These Citations suit very well with your temper; Physicians are certainly much to be pitied! what Miracles soever they may work, they still procure more blame than praise, so unjust and unthankful is Man naturally. Does any one fall sick? we are sent for in all haste, and received in Triumph. Is the Party Cured? they send us back, and avoid our Company as if we were miserable wretches; and many times cheat us of our Fees. So that having in the beginning of the Sickness reverenced us like Demigods, in the Recovery from it, they look upon us as Devils.  Patient. 
I am not of the mind that ye are so much to be pitied as you pretend. On the contrary, I know no Profession more happy than that of Physicians. Is any killed by them? the Earth presently Buries their Crime; does Nature save a Patient out of their hands? they claim the Honour of it; and the Sun illustrates their pretended Victory.  Physician. 
Oh, injustice! can we Cure all the World? are Men immortal? are there not incurable Diseases, sudden Deaths, where we cannot come in time, and far less foresee them? what shall I say, 
* The Gardens afford no Remedy against the power of Death.  Contra vim m●rtis non est Medicamen in horts.  Patient. 
It's your negligence and not the Disease that's incurable; had you throughly studied the Ancients▪ and Modern, who have searched Nature, to her very Centre, you might have preserved those in Health, whom you have deprived of Life; but ye are so headstrong and opinionative, that ye had rather die, than suffer the use of a Medicine, which Hypocrates and Galen have not recommended to practice.  Physician. 
These searchers of Nature are silly blockheads. Not one of these Bellows-blowers but has a Million in his head for a Penny in his Purse. They never see a Patient, but that they imagine his Body to be a Furnace; his Heart a Crucible, his Blood and Humours, Sulphur and Mercury; and making use on all occasions of the Lungs for Bellows; they pretend by the force of bubble, and that to persuade you, that there is nothing more easy to be sound than the Philosophers Stone; and if you will not believe them, they desire a Crown of you to buy Bread. I am so tired out with their impertinences and your follies, that I'll hear no more. Besides my other Patients want the time that I lose here. Especially I am concerned for the hungry Convalescents, whose greedy Appetite may serve us an ugly trick. Relapses are worse than the first evil  Patient. 
Never vex yourself upon that account, your Patients suffer less in your absence, then when you make them loll out a Foot of Tongue, and squeeze and press their hypochondres. As for your Convalescents, you'll be with them soon enough, to assure them, as most important News, that they shall have the little Chicken Broth, which you promised them last Night for Dinner; to which you'll add as a singular favour, the permission of sucking and chewing the little bones of the Boiled Chicken and Veal. And as a transcendent kindness, they shall have for desert, the half of a little roasted Apple, or a little of the liquor of stewed Prunes, with a little piece of Biscuit. All this delivered in a coaxing tone, and with a smirkling Mouth, which is not to be endured but in a Nurse that looks bonny upon her Babe, when she has a mind to play and fool with it.  Physician. 
I would willingly know of you who pretend to so great skill, what you would Prescribe to one upon a Recovery from a sickness?  Patient. 
To eat while he is a hungry, and to drink while he is a dry, of what he has most mind to, allowing him for company at Table Taste, Appetite, nay and the Fever itself.  Physician. 
A fair way to dispatch more, than we kill according to your own reckoning.  Patient. 
Pardon me there: For I would not keep a sick Person in a slip during the whole course of his sickness, seeing I'd give him leave to eat and drink, he would not fall into that canine hunger, which devours your Convalescents, and if by chance, he committed some little excess, it would be an easy matter to make amends for it by Patience, Experience, and Abstinence.  Physician. 
Ho, ho, do ye speak of Patience and Abstinence, that is 
* A Secret not to be revealed.  Secretum non Revelandum.  Patient. 
And why is not that Secret to be revealed, if it be good? Be ruled by me, shut up your Physic Schools, or model your Faculty after a Parliamentary manner; let it have an upper house to punish the Rich Nobles, who have eat but too much, when they were well, with hunger and fasting; and a lower house appointed for the inferior people, to oblige them to eat and drink of what is good; making the Rich Man's Ordinary, the Poor Man's Physician; and the Labour and Abstinence of the Poor, the Rich Man's rule of Diet. That's the only way to work good Cures, and to regain your Reputation.  Physician. 
We are not to be advised what to do by such an empty skull as thine. Consider a little, that you cannot be without us; and that if you do not instantly make me satisfaction, I'll have an Action of Scandalum against you.  Patient. 
Of what use d'ye take yourselves to be to a sick Person? you are just to him wh●t a Passport is to a Merchant Travelling upon the Frontiers of an Enemies Country; if he meet with no body, his Passport is of no use to him, and if he fall upon a Party of the Enemy, trusting to his Passport, he runs headlong into the Ambush, and is killed, before ever he be asked who comes there. In the mean time they come off with, it's pity he's Dead, but his Passport was up ranuated, and he ought not to have trusted to it rashly, as he did.  Physician. 
And what d'ye conclude from this extravagancy.  Patient. 
That Physicians are like Rails on Bridges, which are useless to Passengers, who have the wit to keep from the sides.  Physician. 
There is no end of your insulting calumnies. However your Frenzy hath such singular Symptoms, that I'll observe it to the end, that I may be able to entertain the Public with an Idea of perfect folly.  Patient. 
I should willingly also make a Collection of the Impertinences of the College; if Tyranny went not so far as to force those who in their Writings speak of Physic, to bear the marks of the Faculty.  Physician. 
Can it do less for putting a stop to the insolence of those who Publish, that we do no more but let Blood, Purge and give Glisters.  Patient. 
Yet for all your defences, you are daily exposed on the Stage with the Habit, Look, Tone, and Gate, which ye affect most.  Physician. 
What you say of the Stage, we'll give for a Song; we ourselves have furnished the matter; and though you should publish all that you have said, it would no more move us than the jangling of Bells. Nothing but Truth gives offence, Invectives and Satyrs cannot annoy Learning and Wisdom: Farewell. We must do good for evil, I am going to prepare for you, an Elixir of the five Hellebores, with Agarick; and all to p●t a stop to the Distemper of that racked Brain. If that opperate not what I expect from it, I'll go hire you a Lodging in Bedlam, for I pity your condition.  Patient. 
Keep your Hellebores and Bedlams for those that trust in you: You know that Physic is Mortal to a Body that is in Health, and though I were as much disturbed, as you would have me to be, the best Remedy still would be Rest. I order it then, and I'll take it. As for you, it is my advice, that you would renounce the Art you profess; because it is not lawful to follow a Trade that one understands not, and give yourself wholly to the study of Nature; that's a better Advice than I ever had from you. However I am obliged to you for your Compassion; for it's a rare thing to be pitied by a Physician, Adieu. If you come in my way again you shall not escape so well.   

Twelfth Dialogue. The Physician spoken of in the foregoing Dialogue, having been long in search of Nature, at length finds her among Savages, he speaks to her, and submits to her Laws.  The Savage. The Physician. Nature. Savage. 
AS I take it, that which you call Nature, is the same that we call The Soul of the World. But if you have rambled and wandered long without finding her, tha●'s nothing to me; because I am sometimes admitted into her presence, must I therefore have power to make her do what you w ul●? you have desired me to guid● you into those places where we use to s●eak with h r, and consult her; and there we are: If Nature have an aversion either to your Person or Profession, can I force her to answer you?  Physician. 
No. But if perchance my Profession displease her, which I do not believe, I am willing to lay it aside. Take, there's my Gown, Cap, and Diploma of Doctor, wherein consist all my Learning, Dignity, and Estate; I make a voluntary Sacrifice of them to her, and shall think to have got by the bargain, if she'll vouchsafe to speak to me, after that she hath Triumphed over my Trophies.  Savage. 
Lord! how light and superficial is this pompious Attire that rendered you so venerable. Men are very short sighted, that cannot perceive through this outside of Fur and Scarlet, the emptiness that's underneath.  Physician. 
Such as these Trophies are, I freely part from them, and joyfully Dedicate them to Nature; having done so, I can see no reason why she should not comply with my desire; for we are not so empty and unprofitable as you would have us to be, we are courted by the greatest Kings, and at every turn give them our advice.  Savage. 
Like enough; but by your discourse, I find that the first thing I have to do, is to give you a prick with a pin in the Head, to let out the presumption and vanity that it is full of. Stand fast.  Phsician. 
Ouf. Ye hurt me.  Savage. 
Hark, how violently the Wind comes out! observe how the Air is darkened with the vapours that exhale from you: Keep off your hand till all these malignant blasts be out.  Physician. 
Alas! I am all in a surprise. I thought I had a head, and I find it is but a Bladder. Stop the orifice, I pray you, lest I should turn all into Smoak.  Savage 
No, I shall not do so, would you be like most Men that carry puff-paste for Heads?  Physician. 
By no means. Indeed I did not perceive that I stood in need of that Operation; but I know some that need it more than myself.  Sau. 
We'll teach you how to do it, not only in the Head, but also in the Tongue, Heart, and elsewhere; for all Men have not their wind in the same place.  Physician. 
I am surprised to hear you, I thought I had understood every thing, and I perceive I understand nothing at all.  Savage. 
You may expect praise for that sincere confession, when you have set that left Arm and right Leg at liberty. You conceal gulfs under these bands and clouts, where a vast number of Spirits are corrupted and lost. In this place, all things must be free, and without constraint.  Physician. 
If these Fountains must be dry, I shall be instantly choked and overwhelmed with humours.  Savage. 
What nonsense is this? have not you holes and Emunctories enough, without increasing the number of them? what must run in the Channel of our Rivers, that are so necessary for the commerce of Life, if you divert the rivulets? Away, away, also with these stomagers and girdles that you use for fortifying your Stomach, and cooling your Reins, and throw yourself Naked into this well.  Physician. 
How, stark Naked.  Savage. 
What are ye afraid off? here's a great deal  indeed. Courage. Now that I have dipped you, and made you drink of those waters, and eat of those fruits, tell me how you find yourself? I am much mistaken, if you talk not in another strain.  Physician. 
Ha! where am I? I am overjoyed, my Heart's as light as a Feather; but what do I see? my old skin fall off, my wrinkles are gone, and my flesh is as plump and smooth as that of a young Child; my grey ha●● fall off and black ●ome in their place: What Vigour! what Strength! O, how glad and pleased I am. I always thought that the fountain of youth was but a Chimaera, nevertheless I have found it, who could have believed it? but now who can doubt of it, when they see me so fresh and young?  Savage. 
Besides, all these wonderful advantages, have not cost one drop of Blood, nor any thing that looks like Physic.  Physician. 
On the contrary, I have taken nothing that hath not seemed to me more delightful than Healthful.  Savage. 
Seeing you are persuaded of the truth of these things, where can you better erect a Trophy of your spoils, than upon this Mountain, from whence the whole World may be seen? for that end make use of that lovely Tree, which is as an umbrello to those healing waters, that shading us on all sides, makes us enjoy the pleasure of that agreeable verdure which crowns the Banks.  Physician. 
With all my heart. For I make no doubt but that of all places where Nature delights herself, this is the chief because of the variety of wonders that occur here. The Plants do not only crowd together, to rob us of the sight of the Earth; but by sending out flowers strive to outvie one another in the Glory of pleasing the eyes, and perfuming the Air. What charming consorts do the gentle breezes and little Birds which sport in the Bushes make? I am transported with joy, ravished with delight, and nothing can match my felicity.  Savage. 
The more you express your ecstasy, the more do I join with you in admiration of the virtue of our waters, and the excellence of our Fruits. I am hopeful also that you shall not rest there, and I foresee that after this first transport, which you could not hinder, you shall obtain what you have so long wished for.  Physician. 
There my Trophy is hung up; will this way I have placed them in do? and d'ye approve of these few words which I have put upon the Branch that carries them.  THE TROPHIES OF VANITY, DEDICATED TO THE SOUL of the WORLD. Savage. 
Of Vanity, that's not enough; for seeing you told me at your first coming, that you were one of the College of Physicians that must be put into the Inscription in Greek and Latin; for it's said, that your excellency consists only in that.  Phy. 
Will you now put me to despair, after you have given much cause to boast of your civility. Vanity and the Faculty or College, is here but one and the same thing: And then to what end Greek and Latin, if no body in this Country understand them?  Nature. 
Make no alteration in the Inscription; I am satisfied with it.  Physician. 
Who is this I hear?  Nature. 
Thou hearest her whom thou callest The Soul of the World, who touched at thy Confession, am resolved to answer thy demands: Speak only in a few words, without Ceremony or preamble.  Physician. 
What's the reason, that of late Men have so little regard to Life, that they'll make no more use of Physicians.  Nature. 
Because Men love to live, and Physicians kill them.  Physician. 
I am very well satisfied that a Man of Sense, who hath studied his constitution, may during the whole course of his Life be without Physicians; for if one turn but in the least in the little Circle of our ways of acting, it is easy to observe, that the revolutions are always the same.  Nature. 
If Life consisted only in making several turns in one and the same Circle, it would happen that instead of turning Children, Men would turn young again: Life is not what you take it to be. When I light a Lamp, I fill it with Oil, and leave the conduct of it to Reason, which preserves it from the accidents to which it is obnoxious: Nay I suffer her to dispose of her match as she thinks fit; and thence it is, that they who double it, consume it sooner, than they who divide it into small threads.  Physician. 
We say the same also, that Men cannot husband too well the radical moisture you speak of, as of an Oil or Balsam, and therefore I think that in all thinks we agree with you.  Nature 
And for my part, I think by your discourse, that we agree in nothing at all. Give him the other prick with a Pin, to let out the rest of his vanity.  Physician. 
At least, this is common to us both, that we Cure the Patient who calls for our help.  Nature. 
Make a sieve of his Skull, if he still persist in these foolish presumptions. Art thou ignorant that I abhor Blood, and hast thou forgot that Physicians thirst after it, who never enter the House of a Patient but by force of Arms, Terror going before, and Death following them at the heels?  Physician. 
And how do you enter there?  Nature. 
I am there before the sick Person, who calls me, perceives it; of myself I dart a beam of hope and gladness into his Heart: And if the desire which I suggest to the Patient he not thwarted, I show him in my train Health conducted by Patience.  Physician. 
Who dares to thwart you?  Nature. 
Such a Physician as thee, who neither understanding the Disease, nor the Remedies that are proper for it; busies thyself about the Patient, in doing the Office of an ordinary Cook, ordering Broths, Jellies, and Barleywater, as if thou laboured to increase the sickness, by what the sick person has the greatest aversion to.  Physician. 
Can one do better at first, than to use light Food, and benign Medicines, expecting the Critical d●ys, that we may observe what course you are about to take. Afterwards, following your foot steps, we proceed to Purgatives: For it is prudent not to hasten any thing in the beginning.  Nature. 
When one falls, can he be too soon raised up again? Acknowledge frankly, if thou wouldst be instructed by me, that it's thy Ignorance, and not the Disease, which makes thee temporize.  Physician. 
I confes●, that in the beginning of a Distemper, we have but very confused Notions of the evil, and of the Remedies that are proper for it; so that you would do me a matchless favour, if you would have the goodness to inform me in what manner Creature●… act, from their Birth, to the time o●… their Death.  Nature. 
For that end, thou must address thyself to the Agent which I have in every Creature. He it is that directs it to the end which I have proposed to it, and disposes so absolutely o●… it, that through him only it subsists.  Physician. 
What you call Agent, i●… that which we call Reason in Man; Instinct in Beasts, and Virtues in Plants.  Nature. 
What I call Agent, is myself; I animate and dispose the Matter according to the intentions and Ideas that are unknown to thee. So that one Spirit moves all the different specifications in the World; as the same Wind makes all the different Pipes of an Organ to play.  Physician. 
Till now I always thought that an Animal was nothing but a Machine of parts, all the Art of which consisted only in some certain Springs which made it move, without being sus●…eptible of pain or pleasure.  Nature. 
Supposing it to be so, tell me who made that Machine of parts? And who puts it in motion? For there is no effect without a cause, nor any motion without a mover. If thou answer, that ●…it is I; who hath revealed to thee that I am made up of pointed, globular, and chamfered Particles? And who hath given thee the power to measure me by Circles and Squares, as if I were a property of Mathematics? I, who inform all that is contained in the Elements.  Physician. 
Instruct me then, how I am to speak, that I may not displease you; for I will exactly perform all that lies in me, that I may come to the knowledge of you.  Nature. 
If thou studiest me, thou shalt know me as much as man is capable of, and as is needful for him. But never expect to attain to it, so long as thou seest not by the Eyes of the Mind, what the Elements contain; for the Elements which thou seest are, to speak properly, but the bark of the Elements, which I use in the Composition of Creatures. Hast thou never observed, that so soon as a Creature is dead, if the Fire be suffered to send back the parts whereof it was composed, unto their several places, there will remain no more but a few ashes, all the rest, escaping thy sight, enter again into the bosom of the Elements from whence I took them.  Physician. 
The Notion that I have of the Elements, is, that they are in continual War one with another, whether they act of themselves, or by means of that universal Spirit you speak of, which inspires the same dissension into all Creatures.  Nature. 
That Spirit is so great an Enemy of Disorder and Destruction, that so soon as ever it is united to a new Creature, it conceives so violent a love for it, that it applies itself solely to the conducting of that Creature to the end, which I have proposed to it. And though for the perfecting, preserving, and defending the same, it must use a great many different means, nay, even wiles, and new stratagems, yet it omits nothing that is to be done in performing what is prescribed to it, because nothing can divert it from its Duty. But seeing self-love might render the Creature so wil●, as to become independent on Society I impose a necessity upon it of having ●eed of another to perpetuate itself.  Physician. 
I cannot comprehend how one Spirit can at the same t●me act in so many different and contrary manner's; and a● little conceive wh●t mat●er th●t is, which escapes our sight, and whereof you make use, in the Composition of all Creatures.  Nature. 
For understanding of both, consider those Vapours ●hat rise o t of the Sea, a●m●re the beauty ●f the Clouds which the 〈…〉 ●e, w●i●h having lo g hovere● 〈…〉 ●r and ●een dri●e● to and ●ro● 〈…〉 ●sts, that they may be the 〈…〉 a●d impregnated by the beams of 〈…〉 ●ng, 〈◊〉 length, unable to bear any lo● 〈…〉 of the rich spoils where 〈…〉 ●e loaded, you see how they f l● 〈…〉 thirsty Earth in gentle showers, 〈◊〉 in gratitude for that kindness, sends forth a perfume more delightful than the odour of Flowers. Scarcely have these so much wished-for showers refreshed the Fields and Gardens, but they produce almost as many different effects, as the Clouds contained drops of Water. In the mean time, these drops of Water meeting together, gather themselves into a body, return to the Sea, and laying aside their mud, recover their saltness again. If then by means of the grossest parts of the Elements, I can produce so many wonders, judge what that Spirit must be, that animates and keeps them in motion.  Physician. 
I fancy that these showers and dews only refresh and moisten the Earth, without contributing any thing else to the productions you speak of.  Nature. 
That's because your mind reaches no farther than your sight. Consider that the Virtues of the Sunbeams, though they be conveyed under ground by the Rains, yet lose not the disposition they have of returning to the place from whence they came. As these Waters than are filtrated in passing through the Earth, so those Spirits disengage themselves, and are detached. Now, if in mounting upwards again, they meet with any Seed, or young Root, they cleave to it, as a ready way to facilitate their ascent to the Region of the Air. But their motions and agitations in these Seeds and Roots, instead of opening their Prisons, lengthen only their Chains, and serve to make the different extensions and growth of Plants, Trees, and, in a word, of all Creatures.  Physician. 
I admire what you say, though I do not fully understand it.  Nature. 
Wonder not at that, the Body of Man is not a Vessel solid enough to confine a mind capable of knowledge. Thou canst only receive a slight tincture of it, because Men are filled only with Opinions.  Physician. 
But is there no Knowledge mingled with Opinions?  Nature. 
If men's Opinions contain any Knowledge, that Knowledge is like Willy with the wisp in a dark Night, whose light is more apt to make Travellers lose their way, than to set those right who have gone astray: Whereas the Knowledge I speak of is like the Sunbeams, which burn every thing they touch, if they be in the least contracted.  Physician. 
Our Opinions however are founded on Reason that springs from our Understanding.  Nature. 
If Man had Understanding, Reason would be of no use to him. Man is blind, and makes use of the Art of Reasoning as of a staff to grope the way with. Hence it is that he does but nibble and feel so long as he lives, without being assured of any thing.  Physician. 
What judgement is then to be made of all those great Men, who have left us Books full of so profound knowledge, that no new thing c●n be discovered in the Theory or Practice of our Profession, which may not be found in these Works, provided one do but dive into them.  Nature. 
The Learning of the Doctors which thou esteemest so much, is but as Perspective in Painting; the nearer we approach the Picture, the more we are undeceived; let us touch it, and there is nothing of those gr●at distances that reached out of sight. Would you wholly b eak the Charm, scratch but the Cloth, and thou shalt find by discovering the thread, that that which thou takest for a depth, has not so much as an appearance of it.  Physician. 
But to return to our Knowledge; could you not so temper the beams of it, that I might feel some sweet influence of the same?  Nature. 
That is not to be done in the sense you imagine, which is to know a thing by itself.  Physician. 
What can you then do for me?  Nature. 
To inform thee that I have enclosed in every kind of Creature a simple Reason, or Art of Living, which stands it instead of a Knowledge how to subsist. Now I have diversified that Talon in such a manner, that not one way of living is like another; nay, even so far, that the same way of living, in one and the same kind of Creature, hath its different practices, according to countries', Seasons, and Chances that happen. Nevertheless, all these ways of living proceed from the same source, and centre there again.  Physician. 
I have always been told, that Nature was simple, and without Art.  Nature. 
I am not without Art, but without Artifice: For I call the Art or way of Living, that Natural Light which I give to every Creature to be governed and conducted by whilst it remains in being.  Physician. 
That's to say, that you distribute more or less of that Light to every kind of Creature, according to the inclination that you have for it; and that the irregularity which is observed in them proceeds from that.  Nature. 
I love all my Productions alike, and the Virtues and Wonders which they contain within, and exert without, though they be different and opposite, yet yield to one another in nothing. For instance, is there any thing more precious and less corruptible than Gold? Nevertheless the great need that Men have of Iron, makes this as useful to them as the other. Is there any thing upon Earth endowed with more incomprehensible Virtues than the Loadstone? And yet the smallest Seed that springs, grows, and returns again to Seed, is a subject more worthy of Admiration. For I would have thee know, that the Plants thou treadest upon, are so many precious Boxes, variously painted and figured, which contain as many different Treasures.  Physician. 
What! make you no difference betwixt an Insect that is produced of corrupt matter, and a Perfect Animal, the Fruit of Generation?  Nature. 
Thou talkest of Corruption, and knowest not what it is. All are produced after the same manner; and in that, one Creature has nothing to boast of more than another. As to Infects, which thou slightest without Reason, my Art of Living appears in them better concerted and followed, than in Creatures of a bigger Volumn. For all Creatures, which cannot without the assistance of their fellows, provide for their necessities and security, unite together, labour in Society, and live in Common; and that's the reason why a Company of Bees or Aunts, nay, and of Beavers or Badgers, effect things of greater Admiration, than all that can be done by a Stag or Wild Boa●, a Tiger or a Lion, which lead a lazy and solitary Life in the obscurity of Dens and Woods; without building Palaces divided into several Apartments, without providing those Victuals which are the delights of an innocent Life; and in fine, without employing the stratagems that the greatest Generals practice for the Defence of their Country. Thus a single spark is nothing, but when many join together, they make a flame.  Physician. 
You conclude then, that the Reason of Man is but a bare Art of Living, just so as Beasts have theirs.  Nature. 
I thought I had made thee sufficiently to understand by what I have said, that in all this Discourse I only speak of the Animal part of Man, for that's the only thing here in Question. Thou knowest by thine own Experience, that in thee I discharge the functions of the Body, and never perform them better, than when thou meddlest least in them. So every Man that's wise trusts me with all the little Offices of the Organs. Seeing he cannot comprehend the structure and perfect Harmony of the Body, he thinks it enough to give Praises to him who hath made him the Keeper of so precious a Masterpiece. But since that is not the precise point in hand, let us return to the Arts of Living, wherewith I gratify living Creatures.  Physician. 
Well then, tell me, I pray, what is the end you propose to yourself in all these different Arts?  Nature. 
The conservation and propagation of Kind's. I stamp that Impression upon all that hath Life, and even upon things which to thee seem destitute of sentiment. But I inform them in different manners, and by ways that thou knowest but little.  Physician. 
Either that impression wears out, or you are not obeyed; because your Creatures destroy one another, and seem to acknowledge no Law, but that of the stronger.  Nature. 
I have already told thee, that that which thou callest destruction, is but the execution of the different ways of Living amongst Creatures: For there is not one of them which for preservation of its Life, does not stand in need of a peculiar Food; now, when it finds it, it takes it, even to that degree, that in case of need, it devours Creatures of its own kind, and in an urgent necessity, feeds on part of itself.  Physician. 
To prevent such cruel extremities, could you not make your Creatures subsist on Air, Water, and Earth, without being obliged to destroy your Masterpieces, for Life's sake?  Nature. 
I do so, in regard of some Animals, which live merely on what they draw from the Water and Air; but seeing others want more solid Nourishment than respiration, I diversify the Food I prepare for them a hundred, and a hundred ways; yet still with that care, that the more of this Food is consumed, the more it increases and multiplies. Now, I allow not Plants, Infects, and desenceless Animals the Privilege of a speedy growth, and excessive multiplication, but on condition they should imitate Fountains, Brooks, and Rivers, which so soon as they come out of the Earth, run all over the World, to quench the thirsty; according to these Orders, Aliments thus specified present themselves to the Creature that needs them, to the end, that by eating of them, it may add to its Lamp the sparks of Life, contained in those little Productions.  Physician. 
Man may justly then kill other Creatures for Food.  Nature. 
If it were injustice to eat living Creatures, it would be no less to feed on the Seeds of Plants, Fruit of Trees, and Eggs of Fowls. Man may then, without scruple, make use of the Productions of the Earth and Water. That's to s●y, of Wild Beast's and Fish: For as to those wh●ch thou breedest at home, and honourest with thy Protection, be satisfied that they re●ay with Interest the care and food thou b stowest upon them, seeing they strip themselves to enrich thee with their Feathers a●d Fleeces, and that they feed the with their Eggs, and quench thy thirst with their Milk. Not to mention the pain they suffer in labouring thy Land, and in carrying from one place to another the fruits of their labour: Not to mention neither the Pleasure they afford thee when they are Young; the eagerness wherewith they accompany thee to Game, and in all places, and their faithfulness towards thee even to their Death.  Physician. 
Seeing you have said, that part of the Creature only nourishes that other that feeds on it, what becomes of the rest? Is it lost?  Nature. 
There is nothing lost of that which is contained in a Vessel that has no opening; though their parts change their place, their colour, and figure, yet they are not annihilated. ●o●ped water blown upon with a gentle breath, produces an infinite number of bubbles, which successively destroy one another. In the mean time, nothing is lost nor diminished; what breaks off from the rest of the matter falls back into it again; and as it is the same Air that moves these babbles within, and environs them without; so the Spirit that animates Creatures, and that which is got lose from the shackles of Specification, is but one and the same Spirit.  Physician. 
Suppose nothing of matter is lost, yet these various changes ought to alter it.  Nature. 
If a piece of Earth or Clay may an innumerable many times come under the hands of the Potter, and come out again always in a new shape and figure; by stronger reason the mass of the Elements is capable of all these transmutations without being altered. For my part, I sport and play in these vicissitudes.  Physician. 
I believe so; but what's the reason that we see the Potter prepare the Earth, and that we perceive not what you are a doing, till your work be pretty far advanced?  Nature. 
The Reason is, because the Artificer is without his Work, and I am within mine. Nor can he imitate more than the outside of the egg, to me only it belongs, who am within, to form and animate the Chicken.  Physician. 
Might not we see the disposition of things at that time when you intent to specificate matter?  Nature. 
Yes, by the Eyes of the Mind, but not of the Body, because I begin my work in an unperceptible point; and from thence, as from a centre, I trace to myself a Circumference proportionate to that centre, which I fill as I ought, under the cover of a Veil; for no man ever saw me openly at work, insomuch, that my work is more than half done, when it gins to fall under thy Senses.  Physician. 
What's the reason of that?  Nature. 
Why, because the matter I make use of from first to last in the composition of a mixed Body, cannot be perceived by bodily Eyes, though it be clothed with the Elements. Now that matter is not where to be found in greater abundance, nor more within my reach, than in the Air: And therefore, it is the Storehouse of that precious Treasure. Out of that vast Reservatory then, which is above thy Head, and without the reach of thy Senses, do I form the multitude of the Water-works which embellish the Grassplot of the World, and which rise higher or lower, according as they draw their Influence from on High. For thou must know, that Life is but a gentle dropping of Living Waters, of which the Stars are as the sources, and which falling from Heaven upon Earth, spurt out in all places upon this Theatre of the Universe.  Physician. 
I admire you, and am lost in the maze of thoughts which your Oracle's suggest to me.  Nature. 
Dost thou begin to comprehend any thing of this?  Physician. 
I cannot tell. But thus much I'll say, if you'll give me leave, that at present I look upon you as an immense Spirit, to which the Elements which our Senses perceive not, are instead of a Body; that all Creatures are it's animated Organs, and that it is only by their Actions that we discover you.  Nature. 
Thou conceivest then how I animate the Organ●.  Physician. 
Not fully, but making a judgement of you by these Actions of the Organs, I fancy that your Body Corporifies your Spirit, and that your Spirit sp●ritualizes your Body: However it be, I am ravished to see with what dexterity you open the hardest stone of a Fruit, from whence, as from a point, you bring forth a Creature of a vast bulk and prodigious weight, the Earth, in the mean time, which bears that Date-tree, or Oak, neither diminishing nor sinking under the burden. And, which is still to me more incomprehensible, with admirable skill you bring ba●k and reduce the Essential parts of that production into as small a point as that from whence it sprung; with this astonishing Circumstance, that it was single when first it grew, and that during whole Ages, it yearly produces innumerable numbers of Vegetables like itself.  Nature. 
Couldst thou but penetrate into the secrets of that point, there thou wouldst find in Abridgement thine Oak and Date-tree, with all their proportions. But I only wish you were so sharp-sighted, as to discern the texture of the parts of Infects, that thou mightest judge of their true harmony when they are in motion. If thou couldst enter into that profound scrutiny, thou wouldst confess that the meanest Particles of which thou art composed, cannot be more distant from what thou art at present, than thou in the state thou'rt in, art from that vast space contained within the Firmament.  Physician. 
I know enough, to make me adore the Hand, which in so small a compass, hath so skilfully fitted all things necessary for such strange performances, that Infects, almost imperceptible, can trace themselves ways in a hard skin; that others can skip and jump in the Air a thousand times higher than themselves are in bigness. And that there are some, who in the Night time sound a Charge, and fall cruelly upon Lions and the stoutest of Animals, insomuch, that I am convinced that you deserve greater Admiration in your less Productions, than in your greater.  Nature. 
You say too much.  Physician. 
Alas! what would not I say of your inexhaustible fecundity and vast reach of forecast, if by letting me see you openly, you had taught me to praise you as you deserve. All that remains to me to be done, is to cry out in ecstasy, O the power and wisdom of that Spirit! which can dispose and shape so many different Bodies in the manner they ought to be, for the execution of so various and opposite ends and desires.  Nature. 
These are praises which don't belong to me; the power which I exert is nothing in comparison of the Omnipotence of him who hath trusted me with it. If I dispose the Elements, it's by Orders from him. His Power is equal to his Will. Does he will a thing? It is. Does he call that which never was? It is present, and subsists so long as he pleases. No sooner did he say, let the World be, but the World started out of nothing. So also when he speaks, the Heavens hear, the Earth hearkens, the Winds stop their breath, the Sea smooths the swelling of its Waves, the Mountains shake to the very Foundation, and fear seizeth all living Creatures. I myself pressed in Duty, wait but the word of Command for Execution of his Orders: For it is with me, in respect of him, as with Lightning, which, though it seems to go before, yet indeed comes after the Thunderclap.  Physician. 
What! is there a Deity superior to thine? Tell me, I pray you, where it is, what it does, and what it says.  Nature. 
Dost not thou understand what the different Revolutions of the Stars, wherewith the Heavens are adorned, speak of the Author of the Universe? See'st thou not how the Earth testifies its gratitude to him by the return of Seasons crowned with Flowers and Fruit? Does not the Majesty of the Sea imprint upon thee a respect towards him? What dost thou think of the Regular Motions of the vast Ocean? What sayest thou of all the Creatures, which those great Bodies, either sustain or contain? Art thou deaf to all those Divine Languages?  Physician. 
No. I begin to distinguish what till now I always confounded. I am so Illuminated with this new Light, and so transported by these great truths, that now I am convinced that the mind of Man is not capable of Knowledge. I cannot hear nor retain any more, for now I am satisfied and contented.  Nature. 
That's not enough. That I may fully Cure thee of thine Error, I will have thee precisely to know the difference betwixt the Sovereign Being and Nature. The Almighty Creates, and Nature produces. I animate Creatures, but it is he that gives the stock of Life, that takes it away, and restores it. And as Art strives to imitate Nature, so does Nature labour to attain to the perfection of the Creator. But it is in vain for me to torment myself, because I depend on Principles: All that I can do then, is to put the Creatures in motion, and so to govern them, that, if it be possible, before they have finished their course, they may be in a condition of leaving others after them that may trace the same footsteps. But seeing these courses are unequal, hence it is, that it is to be observed in me, that at the same time, and in the same place some Creatures are born, and some die; that some corrupt, and others tend to perfection; to which, as I have just now said, they cannot attain; for my Power is no less stinted in the end than in the beginning of all my works.  Physician. 
Now am I so well instructed, that I perfectly conceive that it is with you as with the Sun, who in all the moments of his Course, rises and sets somewhere; so that your continual motion, as well as his, is a certain proof of your dependence and subordination.  Nature. 
Thou hast hitherto said nothing better, though the comparison of the Sun quadrate not exactly in all senses: For to speak properly, that Luminary never rises nor sets. He is a Fountain of Life, whom all the Planets, who stand in need of his fire, strive to wait on, that they may rejoice in his Light; nor do they absent themselves, but with regrate from him.  Physician. 
These things are a little too high for me: Have the goodness only to tell me, if the defects that are to be seen in Creatures, be an effect of the limits that are set to your Power.  Nature. 
The faults which thou observest in Creatures, is never occasioned by me. The Order on my part is good, but the Matter cannot always answer what I demand from it. Nevertheless, however a Creature appear to thee in its imperfection, yet it still contains more wonders than thou art capable of comprehending so long as thou livest.  Physician. 
Alas! our life is so short, that it is hardly sufficient to give us a glance of you; however, I hearty consecrate to you the little remaining time I have to live, if you will but condescend to tell me, how I ought to employ it.  Nature. 
As to thine Animal part, imitate the Animals, who learn by observing what others do, and never transgress the bounds set to their kind.  Physician. 
Do the Animals any thing worthy of Observation, or of the imitation of a rational Man?  Nature. 
On the contrary, they do nothing but what deserves your best attention; study their fore cast, and the pains they take to gather and preserve their Provisions. Admire their skill in making their Nests, and placing them securely; the circumspection they use, and hazards they run to save their young ones; how neatly the Dam brings them up; how dextrous she is in finding them Food, in preparing and dividing it amongst them. In fine, observe the kindness that Animals have for those who do them good; the satisfaction they take of those who injure them; their Courage, Generosity, and above all, their Constancy in one kind of Life, and thou'lt find in their conduct enough to rectify thine own.  Physician. 
For one Animal that does any thing regularly in appearance, or by chance, there are a thousand that live disorderly.  Nature. 
No, I tell thee: Most part of Animals when they have eaten, if they be Young and at liberty, they play; if they be Old or weary, they take their Rest, and of Actors turn Spectators. When Hunger seizeth them again, they seek out how to satisfy it; and the Exercise they perform for procuring their Food, seasons and makes it better for them. In fine, they lead a quiet and peaceable Life, and have no Quarrels one with another, unless sometimes during the heat of their Amours.  Physician. 
Is it not so with Man, who is never more tractable, than when he is most Amorous?  Nature. 
Give me not Man for an instance; he is, of all Creatures, in all things the most irregular, and especially in his Amours, in which he burns and consumes like the Phoenix, hoping to spring up again anew from his Ashes: Or otherways he is a Boulter, which being continually tossed and shaken, retains nothing but the Bran.  Physician. 
I perceive you would conclude, that we ought to imitate Animals in their Duties, their Plays, and above all, in their Moderation, and Uniformity of Life.  Nature. 
It is true. But I would that thy Reason, which is above the Elements, should act with that pre-eminence and excellence which is suitable to so exalted a condition as thine is, that surpasses all things visible in the Universe.  Physician. 
I know very well, that what you have told me of the Body, is addressed to Reason; but what Road shall I follow to come to the knowledge of the Virtues which the Elements contain, and of the manner how you inform them? For what you told me of it by the by, makes deep impression upon me.  Nature. 
To know how the Elements act, trust us with the Treasure of your Granaries, and observe the steps that we shall take, to render thee the hundred fold of it better and more lovely: If thou wouldst see that Operation under other shapes, by your care and labours invite us into thy Vineyards and Gardens, and we will there entertain thee with Delights and Plenty, whence thou may'st draw found consequences for the most desperate Evils.  Physician. 
Since you are willing to make me participant of your Riches, I hearty renounce all the Treasures of the World.  Nature. 
Thou shalt not be the poorer for that. I have furnished all the Countries of the Earth with what is convenient for those that Inhabit them and love me. I give them the free enjoyment of every thing, which is all that I can do for Man, because he can possess nothing in proper. Farewell, make good use of the Acquaintance of that Savage; study his Conduct, and practice what be doth; that's the way to live long, and enjoy Health, without being burdensome to one's self or to others. In fine, be persuaded that the way he takes, is that which I most approve. Adieu.  Physician. 
What! must I hear you no more?  Savage. 
How doth that agree with what you said not long ago, that you could not hear nor retain any more. Since that, have not you been told enough? You ought to be content.  Physician. 
No, I am not. Confirm by one word, I beseech you, what now you have inspired into me. One word, I pray, after that, my desires and fears shall be at an end.  Nature. 
Though thou shouldst have no cause to be afraid of others, yet distrust thyself; and that you may be above the reach of the injustice of Men, renounce thine own Will and Interest, lead an innocent and quiet Life, pity the Evils of others, without exaggerating thine own. In fine, do good to all Men, and always speak the truth.  Physician. 
With all my Heart. Can any Man do better than what you suggest?  Savage. 
At length now you are satisfied.  Physician. 
No Man can be more. But I am so afraid I shall forget what I have just now heard, that I am impatient till I writ it.  Savage. 
The only Caution you should use, in respect of the Seeds wherewith the Soul of the World hath enriched yours, is to weed out of your Mind the bad Plants that the School hath raised in it, that they may not choke the Simples of Nature.  Physician. 
That's not enough: The Murders I have committed, and the precious Talents wherewith I am now entrusted, require that I should go and offer my Head to those whose Relations and Friends I have killed, that by Discourse and Example I may persuade them to submit to the Laws of Nature: For I shall never die satisfied, until I have made my gratitude to her appear, by the pains that I will take in reclaiming Men from Surfeiting and Drunkenness, and in Curing them of the Evil of Physicians, and of the Errors of Medicine.   
FINIS.