ADVICE To a YOUNG LORD, Written by his FATHER, Under these following Heads: Viz. Religion, Study and Exercises, Travel, Marriage, House Keeping, and Hospitality. Of the Court, Of Friendship, Of Pleasure, and Idleness, Of Conversation. LONDON, Printed for, and are to be Sold by R. Baldwin, near the Oxford Arms Inn in Warwick-Lane. 1691. ADVICE TO A Young Lord. INTRODUCTION. My Dear Son, I AM not ignorant that there are many Tracts of late years writ concerning these very Subjects I now design to treat of; yet, I must confess, have most of them been writ with a particular intention to their own Relations, and 'tis therefore the most probable reason that they are not of such general use and observation. Others I am apt to think are designed out of presumptuous ambition of exceeding, by imitation, such rare Examples as went before them, in the accessions of Wit, and Elegant Discourses, very often discoloured with Urbane and Facete Profaneness. I do acknowledge, 'tis a singular, and the right way of transmitting a Man's Memory to Posterity, especially his own: The first of which I disesteem, in Comparison of the latter, because I believe 'twill not be by them observe d, so much as 'twill by the other be respected. You are now to be separated for some time from me, and the greatest Consolation I have in your absence left me, is the Confidence I have in the Learning and Abilities of your Tutor, as also in your good nature in complying to follow his Directions, which I am sure will be very reasonable. 'Tis not my doubting of your Tutor (for if I did, I should never have committed you, the thing I prise and value above any in the World, to his care) But to show you how tender I am of, and what concern I take in your welfare, has been the occasion, and reason which moved me to give you my particular Advice in these several Subjects; thinking withal, that these my Admonitions may be the more Sacred with, and esteemed by you, coming from one whom Nature, and the Indulgence I have ever shown you, obliges to reverence and respect. And I must confess, I have as yet no reason to think that you'll be deficient in your Duty, or frustrate the expectations that I, and all your Relations and Friends have conceived of you. The better to imprint in your Memory what I think fit at present to advertise you of, I shall use a distinct Method, and divide my Discourse into several Heads; and first of Religion. Of RELIGION. RELIGION, my dearest Child, is the greatest Concern we have upon us in this World, our Eternal happiness in the next depending on it; and for that reason ought to be the director of all our Actions. I cannot therefore use my Paternal Authority to better purpose, than in adjuring, and straight charging and requiring you to be constant and zealous in the Religion Established in this Kingdom. Not that I forbidden you to make enquiry into it, to see if in all Points it agrees with the revealed Will of God; but rather Exhort you to't, for I had rather you would make it your choice, than to take it upon Credit. The best Religion is a good Life, and the securest fence against Temptation. 'Twas the Advice of a Great and Prudent Statesman to his Son, Sir. H. Sidney's Advice to his Son Sir Phil. That his first Action should be the lifting up his hands and mind to Almighty God in Prayer, and feelingly to digest the words he uttered; with continual Meditation, and thinking of him to whom he spoke; and to use this at an ordinary hour, that the time itself might put him in remembrance to do that thing he was accustomed to do at that time. This Advice I would you should receive from me, and I desire no better return and obedience from you in this Affair, than what was made by the Person it was first directed to. Let your thoughts in the Morning be what you have to do that day, for which crave God's Blessing and Protection; and at Night be sure you omit not to return thanks, and recollect in your thoughts what you have done, for which you must implore his Pardon. Use all your endeavours to suppress sinful thoughts and desires, while they are weak and impotent, that if greater temptations present themselves, you may be the better able to resist them, and by using yourself, and delighting in doing good, it will at length prove habitual. 'Tis an Old Saying, Nemo repentè fuit turpissimus, Juvenal. & holds good in the contrary, for no Man is good on a sudden, but as he has been enured to good works. Adeo in teneris assuescere multum est. Virgil. Thus I'm confident you have been Educated, which with your Virtuous Inclinations, puts me in comfort and assurance that you'll never degenerate. Let no advantage in the World tempt you to be wicked at any time; for you know 'tis an Old Saying, He that will once be wicked for his advantage, will be always so, if his Interest require it. If any thing in Religion disturbs you, consult an able Physician of the Gospel, and not depend too much on your own Reading; which yet I would have be so much, as not to be imposed upon by any man. Diversity in any thing distracts the mind, and leaves it wavering in a dubious perplexity; and then how easy 'tis to sway the mind to either side, the most Elegant Comedian will inform you. Dum indubio est, animus paulo momento huc & illuc impellitur: This is most true in Religion; you must therefore obfirmate your Ears, and confirm your Judgement, being once satisfied in the excellency of your Profession. Neither would I have you only fixed and constant in your Religion, but also very Devout (which is the chiefest thing) in the practice of it; and also remember this, that he that is not truly Religious, will hardly be esteemed such, since nothing is of less continuance than Hypocrisy and Dissimulation; and if your Religion be such, such will your Honour be, (viz.) a feigned thing, and a mere shadow. The Observance of Religion does become none more than Noble and Illustrious Persons; other Glories have lifted them beyond the pitch and reach of Men, but this is a Ray of the Divinity, which advances them near to the Deity, and, like a Diamond, outshines the lustre of all other Jewels. A Religious Heart, and a clear Conscience, will make you truly conspicuous; it is as the Mother of all other Virtues. What brave Effects of Obedience to Princes has it wrought in Subjects? Look back to the Primitive Times, how Courageous were they in all Erterprises, hardy and resolute in dangers, liberal to the Necessitous, ready and willing to do their utmost endeavour in the distressed Affairs of the Empire! and all this from one pious Principle, that in serving their Prince, they served God, whose Lieutenant he is; nor was there any difficulty over which their Faith did not triumph; and I charge you to make your duty to your Sovereign one of the chief Points of your Religion, so far forth as may consist with your obedience to God, and the Laws of your Nation, which ought to be served best, and in the first place; yet there is such a reciprocation between both these Services, that they commonly go together. He that keeps himself strictly to the observation of the Divine Laws, cannot err in the Humane; and he that is a good Servant of God, will never be an ill Subject to his Prince. 'Tis a Maxim of State, That where Princes and People are of a different Religion, they will not very well agree; yet Modern Experience, since the Reformation arrived to a settled constitution of Church Government, evinces the contrary, as at present in Germany, and our own Kingdom of England. Cherish and maintain the Ministers of the Gospel, especially Pious and Learned Preachers. Nothing brings more contempt upon the Religion and service of God, in the eyes of the Vulgar, than the necessities, wants, and miseries of Churchmen; what esteem you reflect upon them, will redound and reflect upon yourself again. What the Heathen said of their Poets, That by their Means and Writings, Famous Men were transmitted to Posterity, and Immortality, who otherwise would have lain in perpetual Oblivion, is very true of Evangelical Doctors; their Prayers, Instructions, and Recommendations of you, together with your own Holiness, is the only Fame and Glory, will transmit and place you hereafter in Heaven, and Establish you here living and dead, in the good will and praise of all good and Charitable Persons. Let Charity be a chief Ingredient in your Religion, In all things preserve a good Intention without which, no good Action can be performed, vid. Sen. de Beneficis. c. 1. both in Giving, and Forgiving; as you have Abilities, Indulge the Poor, and let them in some measure partake with you in your outward Blessings and Enjoyments. For the other, as you are always liable to Offences, to be always as apt and prone to pardon and pass them by, which in the greatest Adversities you can undergo, will never be out of your power to do. Frequent your Chapel, and the Houses of God, let no Business invade or intrude upon your Religious hours; what you have destined to the service of God, is already Sacred to him, and cannot without great Profaneness be alienated from him, and conferred upon others. For other Duties necessary for a Christian's Practice, I refer you to the Discipline and Instructions of the Church, thinking it needless to repeat them here, which are so exactly laid down by her, which I esteem the purest Truth. For search all Religions through the World, and you will find none that ascribes so much honour to God, nor constitutes a more firm Love among Men, as does the Established Doctrine of the Protestant Church amongst us. In whose Arms I leave you and her to the everlasting protection of God Almighty. Of Study and Exercises. OF STUDY I shall be more brief and compendious, because I have wholly as to this Affair committed you to the Conduct of your Tutor; but yet, hoping that my Advice may be of some use to you after your leaving the University, I shall lay before you these few directions. 1st. That you make it a great part of your care not to spend your time in frivolous Niceties, such as the study of Criticism may be, which is not unfitly termed by one, difficiles Nugae, & stolidus labor Ineptiarum, but always propose an end to yourself in your Studies, according to that Old Rule Respice finem. For it will be an instance of great Prudence in you, to study things which may be of solid use; whereas now the whole Province of Learning is infested with frivolous disputations, and nice and vain Impostures. The best part of your study will be to read such Books as are most pleasing to you, and you can study no Science better than what treats of the knowledge of yourself, and instructs you how to live and die well. Therefore I say the usefulness ought in your Studies to be most observed or respected, since 'tis a strong evidence of weak Judgement, when Men approve of things for their being rare and new, or yet for the difficulty, where Virtue and Usefulness are not conjoined to recommend them. But though the studying only to pass away time, be a most inept Curiosity, and mis-becoming active and generous Spirits, yet you must so order your Studies, that you make them subservient to the Concerns of your Honour, Estate, and Interest, and that they entrench upon no time which should be better employed, either in the Service of God, or your Prince. Your vacant and leisure hours you cannot better impend upon any thing than Books and Meditation, nay, there is a necessity of making such leisure time, if the multiplicity of business press too fast upon you, remembering that of a Great Emperor, whose Affairs were not only urgent, but full of trouble in a new attained Empire. Nulla dies sine linea, he would not let a day sl●p without some improvement in Studies. Your own choice and Judgement will direct both what Books to read, and what Science chief to apply yourself to, though I think it Pedantical, and unworthy a Person of Honour, to be Excellent in any one, it seems as ridiculous as Nero's mad Ambition of being esteemed the chief Fiddler, and best Songster in the World, whom Petronius Arbiter, a Roman Knight, excellently describes in his Satyricon, under the Name of Eumolpus. History, and the Mathematics, I think are the most proper and advantageous Studies for Persons of your Quality, the other are fit for Schoolmen, and People that must live by their Learning, though a little insight and taste of them will be no burden or inconvenience to you, especially Natural Philosophy; which next to the two I mentioned above, I should give the pre-eminence to: As to the Laws of the Kingdom, I reckon them not a particular Study, for they must be your constant practice; your place as to Executory will instruct you, and as to the pleading part of them 'tis below you. Keep always an able Scholar for the Languages in your house, besides your Chaplain, who may be ready at hand to read to you out of any Book your fancy or judgement shall for the present pitch upon, him you'd find to be of singular use and advantage to you, and you ought therefore to give him Salary accordingly. Think no Cost too much in purchasing rare Books, which I esteem next to acquiring good Friends; but buy them not to lay by, or to grace your Library with the name of such a M. S. or such a singular Piece, but read, revolve him, and lay him up in your memory, where he will be far the better Ornament. Read seriously what ever is before you, and reduce and digest it to Practice and Observation, otherwise you'll have Sisyphus his labour, to be always revolving Sheets and Books at every new Occurrence, which may require the Oracle of your reading. Trust not to your Memory, but put all remarkable and notable things that shall in your reading occur to you, sub salva Custodia of Pen and Ink, but so alter the property by your own Scholia and Annotations on it, that your memory may speedily recur to the place it was committed to. Review frequently such Memorandums, which will inform you what progress and proficiency you have made in sort of Studies you have applied your self to. After your Studies give your mind some relaxation, by generous Exercises, but never use them after fullness, sleep, or oscitancy, for than they abate much of the recreation and delight they afford after the intentness of the mind on any business, otherwise 'tis but a continuation of the dream, in the stirring slumbers of Sport, and Recreation. In the choice of your Exercises, affect none that are over robust and violent, that instead of remitting & unbending the Bow, will break it; but let them be moderate, and withal Virile, and Masculine; such as Riding the Great Horse, and Hunting, whose Encomiums are Celebrated by the most Famous of the Ancient, as well as Modern Writers, as by Plato, Zenophon, Arrianus, and Julius Pollux; by Homer; Diogenes Laertius Lib. 6. in his Life of Diogenes Sinopaeas', tells us, he usually took his Scholars out with him to Hunt, and they that refused it, he dismissed from him. 'Tis too tedious to number to you the Latin Authors who have likewise wrote in praise of this Exercise, such as Livy, Cicero, Seneca, Justin, Plinius, Virgil, Horace, and infinite more; but if you have a mind to see a large commendation of it in a few words, I refer you to King James de Officio Regis, Lib. 3 On foot you have Tennis, and Bowls, and other such Exercises, but I would not advise you to make a toil of a Pleasure, by over exercising your Body; play not to wearisomeness, which may make you nauseate the Recreation another time; as near as you can play with Companions your Equals, but if they are not at hand, pleasure will dispense with any Playfellow, nor are you tied there to any strict rules of Honour. Let your Exercises be designed to this end, to settle your mind, to beget a stomach and appetite, and to fit you for other succeeding business. Of TRAVEL. TRAVEL in some Men is an Humour and Curiosity only, in others Wisdom, and Design, and accordingly they make their different returns. It has been all along the practice of our Nation, and I think with very good success. I esteem it a very great accomplishment, for a Nobleman especially, but it must be such an one as can stifle his Lusts, and bridle his Passions; for Travel, says the Wise Seneca, Senec. Epist. neither temperates Pleasures, nor refraenates' desires, neither represses wrath, or can it break the untamed force of Love; but if you would have Travel pleasant to you, you must first cure your Companion. Homer gins his Odysseys in the praise of Ulysses, with this Title and Character, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, etc. That he had seen many Cities, and knew the Manners and Customs of many Nations, as the most apparent demonstration of his Wisdom. 'Tis a pleasure and felicity when the mind embraces but a glancing thought of the beauteous Fabric of the Universe, and is with a kind of delight transported to some peculiar part of it, whose felicity, pleasures, or wealth have run upon its wand'ring fancy; if this be so in the imagination, what delight and fruition is there in the corporal view and passage through the most remarkable Countries of the Universe? One journey will show a Man more than twenty Descriptions, or Maps; what a desolate life do Tortoises live, who cannot be rid of their Houses? No man can endure confinement, and he that hath been locked up in one Kingdom, is but a degree beyond a Countryman, who never exceeded the bounds of his own Parish. Nevertheless all Men are not fit for Travel; Wise Men by it are made better, and Fools worse. This inquires after nothing but Trifles, the Antic Fashions and Gestures of other Lands, and becomes the shame of all Nations, by disgracing his own, in carrying nothing of worth or esteem from them; and by bringing Censure and Imputatation upon Foreign Places where he Conversed, by importing nothing but their vices. If you would advantage yourself by Travel, you ought to Note, and then Comment upon your Observations, remembering as well the bad, that you may avoid it, as the good, to put it in execution and practice, and without committing these things to Pen, they will pass from your Memory, without leaving any profitable results behind them. Let no haste therefore hurry you through any considerable remarkable place, but stay and view what is worthy in it, and be sure to Register it in your Journal, which will very much fasten it in your memory; the Charactering of your thoughts in Paper, will fit them ready for your use; and he that does thus, may re-journey all his Travels at home. Solid Persons are the best proficients by Travel, they are not so prone to be inquinated by the dross and feces of Vice, and the taking Vanities of Foreign Countries, being abler to compose themselves to such manners, which may more readily facilitate their inquisition. Pliance and outward freedom, and a seeming carelessness, is the readiest way to get in favour with Strangers, and to learn any thing from them. Policy and Negotiation for your use I recommend far before Book-Learning, though never so deep and knowing: When you are abroad, the best way is to Converse with the best Men, and not to choose by the eye, but by common Fame and Celebration. For the Government, and things relating to the State, your Advice and Instruction is to be had no where so well as at Court; among Merchants for the Trade, Commerce, and Traffic; for their Religion among the Clergy, and Universities; and so for their Laws, Customs, and Manners, among the Lawyers. And I advise you, if you design fully to understand these several things, to make it your business to discourse with Persons of these several Professions; you know the Proverb, Ne Suitor ultra Crepidam. But chief, and above all, think no Travel too far or discommodious to visit Eminent and Learned Men; there is no Monument like a Virtuous and Learned Person, living by him we shall be something the better, we shall find something in him to inflame and excite our minds to strain to the like pitch, and to excel him in a brave imitation of his Excellent qualities. To such Men you must carry yourself with all submissive reverence, befitting the dignity of those Excellencies that are relucent in them and the awe you seem to stand in, will soon invite his Candour to a free reception, and near entertainment of you: for those Persons who are truly Learned, are very rarely Proud, or Stately. Judgement is the greatest thing necessary for a Traveller, and therefore I approve not of your going abroad very young, in whom Judgement is rarely found; but if when you are grown to a competency of discretion, you have a desire to visit Foreign Places, I would have you seconded with the aid and assistance of Tutor, who knows already the Customs of the Places to which you design to make your Journey. Of MARRIAGE. NExt to Religion (wherein I include the Service to your Prince) Marriage claims your greatest care, upon which the chiefest of our Earthly happiness depends. 'Tis one of the chiefest ends of the Almighty's Creation of Women, that they might be an help meet (that is necessary) for Men; and when he brought Eve to Adam, he gave with her this Blessing, that they should be fruitful, and multiply. And therefore I esteem Marriage a Duty you own to yourself, as well as to your Country. Besides, I question not but you'll be by experience convinced, that it ought to be placed among the Strongest, as well as the most Important ways of Nature; as Martial says, Belliger in victis qued Mars tibi saevit in armis, Non satis est Caesar, saevit & ipsa Venus. Nay, Interest in Great and Noble Families forbids perpetual Virginity; and since the suppression of Nunneries, and such Monastic Privacies and Renunciations to the World, we have not had many of Jephtha's Daughters. Marriage without doubt was one of the greatest Favours Almighty God conferred upon Mankind; and when he bestows a Virtuous Wife, whose Humility, Chastity, and Affection are eminently great, he does as it were renew his first Intentions to us. 'Twas therefore well said by one, who discoursing of this Subject, affirmed that God did oftentimes reward the good works, the Honesty and piety of a Man, with the tender of a good and discreet Wife; for Parents can only give Wealth and Riches, Lands and Possesions to their Children, but God only can give them Prudent and Virtuous Women. In the Contracting therefore of Marriage, Virtue is more to be considered than Money; Beauty will Rival either of them, and oftentimes gets Possession of both; but it quickly loses it again, because it wants those stays and supports which each of the other have in themselves; and be sure of this, that you love the Person with whom you Mary better than her Estate, for you know the Old Proverb in this is commonly true, He that Marries where he does not Love, will be sure to Love where he does not Marry, and Love without ends, hath no end. I acknowledge Virtue is the First to be Courted, and the Primitiae, the First Fruits of our Love, aught to be offered up at her Shrine; but yet reserving the stock to Sacrifice to the numerous Contingencies and Accidents which often befall the Wedded state, by the additional helps of Wealth and Beauty; the latter of which especially I would not have you over-blinded with, 'tis one of the greatest deceits Nature is guilty of; not that it is so in those Persons to whom she is so graciously and liberally pleased to bestow it (for it is the most exact Copy of her Illustrious self) but in the fascination and witchery it darts through the Eyes into the Minds of Men; you cannot but pay homage to it, but let that Tribute redeem you from a Total Conquest. You have heard the Comparison, How a Fair Wife is like a brave House without Furniture, you may please yourself with the Prospect, but there's nothing within to keep you warm. Remember therefore that it is but Clay more refined, and set off with a better varnish, and being all on the outside, lies more open and obnoxious to weather, and consuming time, and very often to present misfortunes; while that which is internal stands the shock, resists the Battering Rams, and like a strong fortified Garrison endures all brunts, when the other (like Darius his glittering Troops) is but a weak and gay Army, ready to be vanquished at the first Onset, and Encounter. Money is the sinew of Love, as well as War, without which you can do nothing happy in Wedlock. The other are Court Cards, but are not of the trump suit, and are foiled by every sneaking Misadventure; Virtue is suppressed, and cannot emerge and dilate itself in the straits of a narrow Fortune, and Beauty is constrained and betrayed to the necessity of keeping it so, 'tis otherwise in a pinching Condition; leanness and dead paleness will usurp the place, where full blown Roses sat with Love before. Nor was it ever known, that a Beautiful Woman driven to want, escaped the Offers and Importunities of Men, who, under pretence of pitying and suppressing her distresses, by degrees have gained on her Honour and Chastity, while she satisfies herself, that out of gratitude she could no less than to comply with their desires and importunities. I do much approve of Cross Marriages, I mean between Great Families that have been at enmity together, believing it to be the best cement to glue and fasten them to Love and Concord, for 'tis certain the Great Pompey and Caesar had not kept so long Friends, had it not been for the requiting duty; though I would not have them Marry in such Proximity as the House of Austria matches; by the Race we guess of the Production. Sorts (says Horace) creantur fortibus & bonis, and that adds a firm Monument to both Houses, being so incorporated into one another. However Men reckon it for Glory in Heraldry, to bear almost the whole Arms of the Kingdom in one Escutcheon. Methinks Honour there looks like a River, which, branched into several Rivulets, loseth itself in them; whereas Streams that take in another large confluent, carry all before them, and run directly into the Ocean, and disembogue themselves with a name. If you are not affected that way, there is variety enough in England; but whatever you do, consult with your honour first, do not embase your blood with matching below you, it will soon breed distaste and dislike in yourself, which will cause Malice and Revenge in her, and entail contempt and scorn upon your Issue and Posterity; such Embraces will be like the twining of the Ivy about the Oak, suck up moisture from the Root, while the Branches are withered, and the Stock falls to the ground, never like to re-flourish again: As you match your Peer in Honour, let her be so in years, a difference in Age is a secret fire raked up for a time, but will afterwards break out and consume your quiet, when either your desires and strength answers not the vigour of the younger. The Sparkles will then fly with such violent colisions and clashings, that will soon set your Family in combustion. After your choice made and pitched upon, and a Vow past, keep yourself religiously to it, knowing there can be no dispensation from it, and nothing but misery, joined with shame and repentance is the consequence. In the State of Marriage carry yourself affectionate and discreetly; and keep strictly the Rites of it, that no jealousy, the Canker of Conjugal Love, fret the Knot which fastened you together; own nothing to one another in zeal and fervency of affection, which will soon beget such a mutual confidence, that the rest of your life will be but an advantageous repetition of your first joys, and add number to your content and pleasures, as well as to your years. As to the use of Marriage, you yourself when you come to't will be the best judge of your own performance; this let me tell you, aught to be a moderate and conscionable delight. A Great Philosopher tells us, A Man ought to approach his Wife in fear, lest too wantonly provoking her desires, the pleasure thereof make her exceed the bounds of reason. And too hot and too frequent an iteration of that pleasure hinders Generation; and on the other side, you ought seasonably to offer yourself, lest she become languishing, Barren, and subject to other distempers commonly incident to that Sex. Let not the secrets of Marriage pass beyond the Bedchamber, for he little regards his own Honour, or his Wife's Chastity, who blazes or discovers what is done there: And no slyer Debauchery is there to Women, than what by such luxuriant freedom of their Husband's tongues is prompted to their warm desires, and strong and wandering imaginations. In this great Affair, all that I can do is this, to pray and wish for your good success, and commend you to him who only is able to grant it you. Of HOUSEKEEPING, and HOSPITALITY. THIS is a Generosity very requisite to all Gentlemen, especially to the Nobility; and the most convincing Argument and Demonstration they are so. It is as well respected for the Quality, as the Quantity, according to every Man's Condition. You may be as free in a Moderate Entertainment, as in all the Excesses and Superfluities of your Table, which then becomes a snare, when it should be a kindness. Hospitality has not only obtained the Eulogies of the most Eminent Divines, as St. Ambrose, St. chrysostom, and others, but of the most Famous Philosophers. Plato de Legibus very largely discourses of the necessity of it, and withal, informs us, that all unkindness shown to strangers, is done against God himself, who will be sure to revenge their Cause. The Account that the Ancient Romans made of this, may very well be discovered by the Name Xenius, which they attributed to Jupiter, which without doubt they received from the Greeks, Hom. Odies. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. From hence the Saying of Fides Jovis hospitalis Cicero ad Quintum fratrem. Non faciam ut illam offendam, ne Imploret fidem Jovis hospitalis. And in the 6 Chap. of the 2 Macchab. verse 2. we read how Antiochus ordered them to Pollute the Temple of Jerusalem, and to call it the Temple of Jupiter Olympius, and that in Garizim the Temple of Jupiter (Hospitalis) the defence of Strangers. And among the many qualifications St. Paul in his Epistle to Timothy, Cap. 3. desires in a Bishop, is, that he be given to Hospitality. I will not trouble you with any long Discourse upon this Subject, but briefly deliver my Advice how I would have you behave yourself in this affair. In general, I would have you imitate your Ancestors, and love Hospitality; and to this purpose keep constantly at home, except urgent and necessary Occasions call you thence. The Entertainment your House will afford Strangers, though it be never so ample and abundant, will want that Condiment, and Sauce of Hospitality, your Company. Men usually affect the Company of their Landlord, though they pay for't; much more will the honour of your presence commend the frank and liberal Entertainment, to the gratitude of all Persons who shall resort to your House and Table. Be not only Courteous yourself to Strangers, but take care that your Servants be so too; kind reception and courteous admittance is as necessary before Meat, as digestion after it; and he that will have thanks for his Entertainment when 'tis past, must bespeak it before it begin at his Board, that his Victuals and Cheer be but a rumination of his first kindness, and that his Porch be as free as his Hall. Keep about you therefore no morose or ill natured Servants, and as near as you can retain Men of a good Aspect, and of fair and Civil demeanour; such will not only be an Ornament and an Honour to you, but of much advantage: For as on the one side it will invite Persons of Quality and Civility to you, so on the other it will shame and deter the ruder and more ungoverned sort of People, who meeting with such distonaut Humours, will either wholly abstain from you, or soon be Civilised. When you once have procured and furnished yourself with such Servants, tie them to your Interests by Love, for since Slavery was banished Christendom, a Servant is no other than one hired to such employment, and under such terms as he thinks fit to oblige himself. The difference therefore betwixt the Master and Servant is not so very great, for none can compel another to serve him against his will; nor can I contract with him for his Service, but he at the same time will bargain with me for his Salary. I take him under my Roof, I make Provision for his Sustenance, preserve him from hunger, cold, etc. and what doth he for this? he serves me, yes he does, and does not he serve himself at the same time, nay, do not I serve him? The same labour he would undergo in his own House to maintain himself, and perhaps with greater anxiety, what in mine he doth with ease and pleasure. Therefore I can term this service nothing but a compact betwixt the Rich and the Poor, for the mutual assistance and advantage. Therefore let your Commands be according to reason and sweetness; not so imperiously, or with such opprobrious language as may justly discontent and chase away a Servant; if he obey with cheerfulness and affection, he may at length make your interest his own. But above all things, I conjure you (my dear Child) to avoid Intemperance in drink. Luxury in feeding seldom carries men beyond their stomach and discretion, though never so many provocations be used to lure them on; but in the abundance of Wine Men are sottishly transported beyond themselves, and the excess of it makes Men the more covetous and raging after it, especially where they think or find they cannot be welcome, unless they comply with your humour, and can requite your charges no other way than by the loss and deprivation of their sense and modesty. Drunkenness is Epistol. 83. somewhere by Seneca said to be nothing else than a voluntary madness. I need not give you Instances for Ancient as well as Modern History, and daily experience testify the Incommodities it often reduce Men to; we not only by this lose the pleasure of Society, but ruin our bodily health as well as our eternal welfare. Cum vini vis penetrant, Consequitur gravitas Membrorum, praepediuntur. Crura vacillauti, tardescit linguae, incidet mens. Nant oculi, Clamour, singultus, Jurgia gliscunt. Lucretius lib. 3. 'Tis a vice which is so much the greater by reason it wants the temptation that other sins commonly have to attenuate the Gild. For I believe there are but few in England that agree to the humour of a young Fellow, who being in company with some of his Comrades, bid one of them drink about, and swore that talking spoiled Company. This custom of drinking hard we should the more despise, because we first received it from the thickest sculd People in the World; (and thus says Seigneur Montaigue) Vices discompose the Understanding; this totally overthrows it, and renders the Body stupid and incapable of a Generous Performance. I would therefore have you detest that barbarous Germane Mode of Drinking to Victory, by a beastly subduing of those whom you have invited, and humanely welcomed, and bid to your Table: 'Tis one of the greatest Vices our Gentry hath brought from thence, amidst all those Trophies they deservedly gained there, and therefore the more caution is to be used, lest it insinuate itself easily by their Conserse, whose Company you shall do well always to esteem as an Honour, but yet use your own Discretion, and my Experience, as an Antidote against that poisonous humour. Suffer no Person to departed your House in discontent or anger, that shall not by rudeness, or some other unhospitable way deserve your disrespect; and on the other side, permit no tumultuous or disorderly Persons to remain within. Every ordinary Man's House is his Castle, but a Nobleman's is that, and a Palace both, where there is reverence due to you, as well as a bare Power and Command: On public Anniversary Thanksgiving days you must expend above your ordinary Provisions. The Solemnity due to those Festivals, takes its weight from the observation of the Nobility, whose Magnificencies at those times are the most forcible impressions to make the People remember and call to mind the mercies and favours of such days. This will more especially concern you who are to be an Example of Loyalty and Prudence to the People about you. But be most sure that the Poor, whose Condition will not suffer them within your doors, may not be out of your heart, but that a constant Care and Provision be made for them; from whom I'm very sure you'll find the greatest returns and thanks, if not by them, yet for them. Of the COURT. THE Court is a place difficult of access, shut up with Rocks, Shallows, and Sands, and not one Adventurer in twenty comes off a saver. Besides 'tis a place of a most uncertain Air, full of Damps and Exhalations, spread with Clouds, and overcast, and sometimes again scorching hot in the sudden rise and depression of Favourites. But if your Curiosity shall invite you to the Danger, and time look with a favourable Aspect upon you, remember these Observations of mine, who have both at distance and at close view well considered it. First then, as to the favour of your Prince, which is the most desirable thing in the world, 'tis rather an illustrious care than a contented possession; nor do wise men ever busy themselves about it, because the tranquillity of Spirit which they seek for, is not to be found amidst the confusions of the Court: And to guard a Man's self from the misfortunes there, and the Envy, which the graces of Princes, do contract upon their Favourites; there is no way better than Privacy and Retiredness. Cornelius Nepos tells us in the Life of Datames, how that he having by his celerity and dispatch, acquired the Grace and Favour of the King; incurred no less Envy from the Courtiers, who took it ill to see him more made of and cherished than they were, and for this very reason agreed together to oppress and ruin him. You must know, that 'tis mere Humane Weakness, which causes Princes to raise Favourites, to aid and support them in the weight and multitude of Affairs, and sometimes in such Secrets, which are heavier upon the mind than all the rest; the sad Effect whereof every Age hath given an example. You must at your entrance resolve to encounter the Accosts of Contempt, Scorn, Discontents and Repulses, with a bold and well settled Resolution, and take no notice of Slight and Injuries done you by the great ones: A thing always judged grievous to a generous mind, and yet these are ordinarily the steps to Preferment. 'Twas a true Answer made by an Old Courtier, to one who asked him this Question, Quomodo rarissimam rem in aula consecutus est Senectutem? How he arrived to so great an Age at Court? Why says he, Injurias accipiendo, & gratias agendo. By bearing Injuries and returning Thanks. If you find favour at Court, beware your Covetousness after new Boons make you not forget the old ones; and if you receive denial, guard yourself, that the distaste be not more prevalent, to run you into Actions of dangerous Consequence, than Reason can be to keep you in Duty. Extraordinary Diligence, and affected Assiduity are to no purpose, whereby Men think to further their Advancement: On the contrary, if Men neglect and seem careless of promotion, attending when the merit of their Actions shall offer it them; Time or Fortune seldom fail to conduct them to true and permanent Honour. A Choleric Person is not fit to be a Courtier, for if he should go about to revenge himself of the Indignities, and Tricks put upon him, he shall suffer more in an hour than he shall be satisfied for in ten Years. You must do at Rome what others do there; be sure to sing no other Airs than those which please the Prince. 'Twas Solon's comparison of Courtiers, who resembled them to Counters, with which Men use to cast Account; for as in changing their Places, they stand some times for more, and sometimes less, so Princes do the same with them, now advancing them in Honour and Dignity, and presently debasing them at their Pleasure to the scorn and derision of all Men. So that it is truly said, That Men have an opportunity of losing themselves at Court, and finding themselves at home. Old Courtiers are like old Ships, brought into Harbour and there laid up, never to be put to Sea to any new Adventure. 'Twas a very Sarcastical saying of one at Court (says he) are Bishops and Priests to Baptise and change Names; for there the Vainglorious and Ambitious Man is called honourable; the Prodigal, Magnificent; the Coward, wise; the Malicious, Subtle; the Adulterous, Amorous; the Covetous, Provident; and what Confidence can any Man repose in Friends there, whose greatness renders them the more intractable; and as it is very difficult to find Virtue there, so it is much more so to keep it; he that sins and reputes, and returns again to his sin, sins more grossly than at first; so to leave the Court and return thither again, is such an Error that is not excusable; save with this, that the return was to sell Virtue, and gain Wealth, since 'tis a great kindness of Fortune or a greatness of Virtue to escape that Gulf. Against the Envy of the Court, as against the Plague, there is no better preservative, than a Retreat, a Remedy often practised but with different success; it being very dangerous for popular Persons, and such as have had great Command to absent themselves without leave or dismission, for it not only breeds suspicions and jealousies of their disaffection, and consequently of a Rebellion, but likewise exposes them to the unobstructed Designs and Malice of their Enemies, which seldom end but in Ruin. This is generally the Complaint of Courts, wherein you must understand there is not the least concurrence of the Prince to give any such cause for it, but that by Tradition, the Grandees as by a Rule; and ever since Monarchy was Court Arts have been, and can vie precedency with any Mystery. I never knew any great Favourite, who practised any new ways of his own: Some have been nobler and more Magnificent than others, freer in access and more affable, but yet still kept close to their Court Maxims, nor ever did their private Virtue's gain upon their public Concerns. It is possible a Man may acquire an Estate at Court, but it is more probable that he may lose one; that which is got there, through how many Curses and Imprecations it passes? That which is lost, how many Tears and Deprecations attend it? While you can therefore pay your Devotion, and your Loyalty to your Prince at home, and probably be better accepted; what need have you of a dangerous and unnecessary Pilgrimage to the Shrine, to pay a Personal Adoration? Therefore my advice is, that (unless your Prince command your Personal attendance) you'd live at home among your Neighbours, where your Thoughts may be at harmony, and your quiet uninterrupted. Of FRIENDSHIP. IN Friendship, you are not to use a Ranging Liberty, suspicion on the one hand, and reason of State on the other forbidding it. But yet what you want in the Multitude of Friends, who like flies fasten on the sweets of Riches and Honour, will be very well compensated, if you have the happiness to find but one or two, whose affections are sincere and unfeigned; these far excel the many Ciphers which commonly attend on Greatness. To make a right choice therefore, you must first propose to yourself the Inconstancy of Man, the most changeable Creature in the World, every breath of Wind forms him to a various shape; think not therefore of making a Friendship fixed and Eternal. How ardently have Men loved some, even beyond the desire of dying for them, when in a Moment as it were a hasty Ebullition of Choler, hath rendered them exceeding offensive, that hath sunk them into our hate and execration. The consideration of this will keep you from over-wearying any Man, and from a total trust and confidence in him, and beget in you a severest exercise, and consequently a firmer reliance on your own Virtues and Abilities. Nothing sooner corrupts or weakens Friendship, than an over hasty entertainment of it, as praecoce Fruit, which soon withers and decays. Judgement is the only Cement that closes and binds the affections of Men, where that's wanting, 'tis like building with untempered Mortar; the Structure like to totter and fall on our own heads. I never knew any so good and virtuous, but others have thought him vile and impious, and hated him; And contrariwise, none so bad and dissolute, but others have esteemed him honest and loved him, either the Ignorance, the Envy, or the partiality of those that judge, do constitute a various Man: In some Report has anticipated Judgement, in some an accident is the Cause and disposes us to love or hate. The Soul very often is led by secret and uninvestigable ways and motions to Love, and knows not why. But 'tis time alone and long trial and probation which seldom fails to give right information, whereas Nature, Art, and Report, may deceive you: Of all Men a Coward and a Drunkard are the worst to make Friends of, for the one upon the least probability of danger, will desert you, the other will divulge the Secrets you have disclosed to him. The little experience which you already have will (I fancy) somewhat inform your judgement; but for your better direction and guidance herein, I shall give you these properties of Friendship, which my longer observation has found to be true Characters of it. He who is really your Friend, will give you Counsel before you require it; and that's the reason a Man cannot keep a Friend by constraint, nor oblige Secrecy by coercion. Most Men regard their profit, and therefore use their Friends as Men do their Beasts, carefully attend and look after them, not out of Love to the Creature, but for their own proper Advantages. But they who do so, in friendship abridge themselves and want the most desirable fruition in the World, which is natural and reciprocal Amity. He that loves you extremely, will as extremely hate you; moderate therefore, and sober Friendship is most preferable; and since Friends must be had, if your Happiness be to find good ones, beware you incur not that unhappiness of changing them; he certainly is in the best condition that is furnished with the best Men for his Friends: Nevertheless, let no obligation to them, cause you to dispense with your Conscience or Religion, and have always a care not to trust any thing to your most intimate Friend, but what you cannot keep hid from time; for a small distaste and a little time will discover those Faults, which many years have concealed. Never submit to your Friend if he require of you any thing unlawful, and what you cannot with a safe Conscience grant; nor do you use Friends as we use Flowers, smell to them as long as fresh, green and fragrant, and then lay 'em aside; for so (commonly) Friendships conciliated by interest or fancy, usually terminate: But especially beware of mercenary Love, which always leaves you when your Money fails; whereas true affection is durable and eternal. Let your Virtues procure and get you Friends throughout the World; for Love's Arms will join the distant corners of the Universe; and in your good Actions you'll not only enjoy a Complacency and Satisfaction, but be a Precedent and Example to those about you. Believe it, nothing will gain you so much Love and Respect, as your Uprightness and sincerity; Greatness was always suspicious, without some conspicuous proofs of a more than ordinary Integrity. Nor will true Glory attend Deceit and Hypocrisy. You know how at Old Rome there was no passage to the Temple of Honour, but through the Temple of Virtue: NON ITUR IN TEMPLUM HONORIS, NISI PER TEMPLUM VIRTUTIS. Intimating, that Glory and Honour were not to be attained, but by virtuous Achievements and Undertake. In a word, Let your Friends be also virtuous and honourable; for next to being so yourself, nothing can be more prejudicial to your Reputation, than to associate yourself with, and keep company with uncivil and scandalous Persons. Of PLEASURE and IDLENESS. BY your recess from the Public Businesses of State, you will be the more apt and prone to fall into some Supineness and Negligence, and indulge yourself to some inordinate Pleasures, to which Men especially of your Age, are naturally very subject, except you keep a very strict guard over your Inclinations and Affections. Remember therefore that great and worthy Actions were never founded in vain Delights, and that nothing is less generous than Pleasures, which mollifies and effeminates Manhood and corrupts the Seeds of Virtue and Courage. But of all Pleasures to which our Age is given, avoid and take heed of Gaming, that vain and yet most bewitching Temptation, a Vice which has alienated many fair Estates and Possessions from ancient Families; a Vice so extravagant, where a Man casts a Die whether his Estate shall be his own or not, by its extraction you may guests its Goodness, born (as I may say) in a dissolute Camp, where its first stake was the price of Life. I have before hinted to you, what Recreations and Sports most befit a Gentleman, and in this what misbecomes him. I might say more against this abominable Vice, but I hope this will be sufficient. I remember, That Dan. Souter from Guil. Stuckius, endeavours to prove, That the playing at Dice contradicts and violates all the Ten Commandments; I'm sure it does a great many: And our Countryman Joh. Salisburiensis in his Polycraticon, says very well, Mendaciorum Mater est alea: And St. Cyprian had writ a whole Discourse against this very thing. Tacitus tells us, That the Germans were so given to this Play, that when they had lost all their Money and Estates at it, they'd stake their Bodies and Liberty; for which, as Tully says, a good Man ought chief to contend. In the next place, I would advise you to avoid all Drinking Clubbs, and that which is now styled Good Fellowship; for these Bacchanalia are as bad again as the former, if not worse. This will presently bestialize you, and take away the Signature God hath stamped upon you. A Drunkard! I cannot name it without abhorrence and detestation; it will divest you of your nature, and not leave you one spark of Honour, but that as well as your Estate will sink into that Deluge of Ebriety. 'Twas observed by Cato, That none came to the Destruction and overthrow of that State sober, but Caesar only: Most certain it is, That none shall be called to the maintaining of a State, whose Debaucheries have rendered him uncapable of governing himself. The Converse of ill Women is altogether to be shunned, lest you be fascinated by their Beauty and Subtleties, to the ruin of your eternal Welfare hereafter, as well as your Estate here. Several Men esteem it no little Felicity to enjoy the Company of fine Women, but they consider not to what Dangers they oblige themselves, and what Burdens they impose upon themselves, to the secret ruin of their Fortunes; for nothing is so chargeable as an imperious Beauty. Neither seek nor entertain Pleasures when they present themselves in their gaudy Bravery, but with a Noble Constancy keep your mind fast shut against their Charms and Allurements. Field Recreations, as they more conduce to your Bodily Health, so they give you but little time to indulge your Genius otherwise. It has been disputed whether to do ill or to do nothing, male agere aut nihil agere, be the worst. And Seneca tells us, Melius est aliud agere quàm nihil, that 'tis better to do things tho' to little purpose, than sit Idle. The life of Man resembles Iron, which being wrought into Instruments, and used, becomes bright and shining, but unwrought, is consumed and eaten by rust; or like a field which being Tilled and Manured, rewards the pains of the covetous Husbandman, but if neglected, produces nought but unwholesome Herbs, and unprofitable Weeds. So it is with Noble Persons, if they stir themselves, and employ their parts in the service of their Country, or in other honourable Employments, they become conspicuously Glorious. Industry instead of impairing, preserves a Man's health, when nothing is more detrimental to it, or more dishonourable in itself than ignoble Ease. The Title or Character Horace bestows upon an idle Person, I think is very pertinent and agreeable. Telluris inutile pondus. Nothing in the Universe stands still, the Heavens, and those Orbs of Light, are in perpetual motion, and though the Earth perhaps moves not Spherically, (as Copernicus fancied) yet there is a continual Motus in that too in her Productions: An idle Man is a Mare mortuum, like standing Water which stagnates and Corrupts. I do not in the least admire to see Gentlemen given to the vicious Courses and Debaucheries of Life, seeing they affect a lazy Greatness, without the props of Employment to support it. The Philosophers tell us how Virtue consists in Action, and there is an old Motto acquiesces as much, in motu Melos. This we all find, that your active and brisk Souls are the most agreeable to Society and Conversation, while your dull and Phlegmatic Person is neither fit for other People's Company, nor his own. If you grow not better by employing yourself, yet this benefit will certainly accrue to you, that 'twill keep you from being worse; by your not having leisure to entertain suggestions of Evil from without. There is a kind of good Angel waiting upon diligence, that ever carries a Laurel in his hand to Crown her; and Fortune according to the Ancients, was not to be prayed to, but with the hands in motion. And Plato says truly 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉. That the Sluggard or idle person is worthy of no reward or encouragement. How unworthy was that Man of the World or the enjoyments of it, that never did aught but lived and died. There's a Story of Servilius Vacia an extraordinary rich Roman, who hating all business or Employ, left the City, and spent his Life at a Villa of his own near Cumae, and was known for nothing else but for his lazy Life, therefore several People, when encumbered with Business, would very often cry out O Vacia, you only know how to live. Seneca condemning the Supineness and Ignominious Laziness of this Person, said, that he knew not how to live, but to lie hid; and often passing by his Villa would jocosely say, Hic situs est Vacia, intimating, that there was no difference in being dead and living after that fashion. It is therefore none of the ordinaryest happinesses to be endued with a Mind that loves Noble and Virtuous Exercises. Of CONVERSATION. IN this affair I'm very sensible you'll have no little need of my Advice and Counsel, and in the first place, I shall treat about Civility, for want of which, I have known many great Persons trusting too much to their Justice and severe Virtues, have been utterly ruined and undone; and several Persons of great Parts and Abilities, for want of civil Address and Compliance, have become useless in their generation. And others, by their surly and uncomplyant humour, render themselves distasteful to Society, and from thence fall into contempt and hatred of all Men; and from thence, not only bring dishonour upon themselves but their Family and Parents, upon their Country likewise, if they happen amongst strangers, they will be apt to censure hardly of that Nation, whose Gentry is so little Civilised. Therefore you are to take an extraordinary care of your Carriage in Conversation, especially in our Cities and Courts, where are Persons of greater and more piercing Spirits, and more curious observers; and no Man in these Places can expect to live, except he sometimes mortify his own Humour and Inclination. You are to imitate in this Affair the Courtier, who for his Interest complys with every one, is always gay, cheerful and Complaisant, and makes this his humour to borrow the Companies. 'Twill be one great part of Civility, not to resent every word or Action, which perhaps rationally may be interpreted to be disesteem or undervaluing. And I like a story of a Gentleman, who when one told him how such a one affronted him, answered, but he has not, for I will not be affronted. This perhaps some will esteem as pusillanimity, but what ever they look upon it to be; I'm sure 'tis greater prudence, for revenge is but a poor satisfaction, which makes me Extremely admire at the Extravagance of some of our Nobility and Gentry, who think their honour engaged to require satisfaction for the smallest Injury imaginable; and from thence proceed to the Sword, where if it happens that one be mortally wounded (as it very often does) the other, except the Mercy and Clemency of the Prince interpose, by becoming obnoxious to the Laws, brings upon himself an Ignominious death, and a disgrace and infamy to his Posterity. I reckon not Civility, to consist in certain modish and particular Ceremonies and fashions in , Gesture, Mien, Speech or punctuality of behaviour; it is not using such Discourses, Words, Phrases, Games, as are in fashion at Court with Gallant Ladies, etc. This is a constrained formality, but Civility ought to be built upon the Basis of Prudence, and Charity, which are to perpetuity unchangeable. I reckon Compliments but a poor piece of Civility, because it proceeds from a different Cause; Civility from Sincerity and Virtue, these from Duplicity and Deceit. He that uses them most, believes not himself; and by thinking to make them believe, they are directed to, exposes himself to their Derision. He is always very ready to promise, not so to perform, ask pardon where there is no Offence nor Necessity, etc. These are imaginary Services, notional and impertinent Humiliations; a solemn Nonsense, an abusing of Language, a putting together many good words to signify nothing. The use of this Traitorous Discourse is only fit for Tradesmen, who love to keep you in talk lest you should too narrowly examine the Wares they would put upon you. Let this also in your Conversation be a great part of your care, to avoid all manner of Affectation and Singularity; for whatever is according to nature is best, and what contrary to it always distasteful, and betrays Vanity and Indiscretion: A seeming Negligence is very graceful, but a constrainedness or seeming to do, with design or study undervalues an Action; and nothing is more absurd and foolish than an affected Negligence. Pride, Insolence, Stateliness and Imperiousness, are not Signs or Qualifications of a Gentleman, but the Scandals of Conversation; when Civility and Affability are the greatest Magnetisms in the World, a conforming one's self to the innocent Humours and Infirmities sometimes of others, and readiness to do Courtesies for all: Not only in Conversation, but in the whole management of your Life, Prudence will be your best and greatest Assistant; this therefore depending upon Experience, without which no Man of ever so great Capacity, can any more arrive to be a wise Man than Fruit to Maturity, without time. Experience is either of other Men, which we see read, or hear, or of our own Affairs. This is the harsher Mistress, and happy is he that can arrive to Perfection, though in his Old Age. Conversing much makes a Man bold and confident, and engaging in business fits for more. There is a vast difference between Prudence and Cunning; The Prudent Man deals so sincerely, that he neither dreads nor fears the Examination of his Actions or Purposes, and is not afraid to have Witnesses, if it were possibly of his Thoughts. The Cunning measures Justice by escaping Punishment, Wisdom by Success, Reputation by Wealth or Power, and the satisfaction of others by his own Interest: He uses Artifices, as taking advantage of the Person if in necessity or in danger, if weak or ignorant; he watches the time if in drink, if dejected, if inadvertant, if easy; he pretends great kindness and affection in general Expressions, or particular ambiguous ones, or such as he will not be obliged by; his great Engine is a smooth Tongue, and a competent stock of Wit. 'Tis a great piece of Prudence to be jealous, and suspect ourselves, lest we run away too hastily with a Likelihood instead of Truth, and abound too much in our own sense. Many Vices, tho' contrary, yet are like to Virtues: The confines of both are the same, and the exact Limits and Boundaries difficultly fixed; as of Pride and Greatness of Spirit, Religion and Superstition, Quickness and Rashness, Government and Tyranny, Liberty and Licentiousness, Subjection and Servitude, Covetousness and Frugality, etc. And yet Prudence chief consists in this very exactness of Judgement, to discern the one from the other, and give to every Cause it's proper Actions and Effects. It is therefore necessary for every one to observe his own Actions and the Original of them, his Thoughts and Intentions with great care and circumspection; he must otherwise despair of ever arriving to any tolerable knowledge of what he doth well or ill. I have before advised you to abstain from the Society of debauched and scandalous Persons, to these I shall add the Railers, whose chiefest pleasure and delight consists in exposing others to contempt and derision, either by imitating their Actions, or Imperfections, or by jeering and mocking them; him I would have you avoid as you would the Heels of an Horse that kicks every one he can reach; if you cannot, take the part of the abused; blame the Action, spare the Person; or if the Person be known, excuse the Action; if neither can be done, praise the Person for some other good Action or Quality; so you have an Antidote against the Poison. There is not in my opinion, a greater Enemy to Peace and Charity, than the Railer; for as ordinary Claudius accusat Maechos, so one Jeer seldom but returns with its equal, which together produce a Quarrel; besides, to abuse Inferiors, argues a mean and contemptible Spirit; Superiors is dangerous. To abuse a Friend is to lose him, a Stranger to lose yourself in the World's esteem. Near of Kin, to these are the Drolls who turn all to Ridiculousness, but I think themselves most. There is nothing so sacred and prudent, which by the petulancy of Wit, may not be made ridiculous, and consequently contemptible. The Holy Scriptures I have heard to have been Burlesqued by those who spare neither their Souls nor Reputation to prove themselves Buffoons, and show their Abilities an ingenious Folly: And these whilst they think to fool others, become themselves really what others are in their Imagination. The most innocent, graceful and universal Discourse, is telling Stories, and Modern rather than Ancient; some I have known so very excellent in this, as to parallel any case by some piece of History. This if well done, is a very great Perfection of Eloquence and Judgement, and will render your Company grateful and desirable, by Persons of Sense and Learning. I shall now end, only to the rest, whose Correspondence and Society I would have you eat, add the Flatterer, who by observing the Actions and Discourses of their pretended Patron, discover his Inclinations, as Hunters do the haunts of wild Beasts, the more easily to entrap them. It is their interest he should be vicious, careless, irregular, and extravagant, for by that means they can more easily withdraw him from all virtuous Persons, and engross him to themselves, who have no other way to ingratiate themselves, but their ready compliance with all his desires. This they endeavour should pass for Affection to his Person; and they represent all other Advisers either as contemners of him, or at best of morose ungentiel Humour: Therefore they pretend to Idolise him, to observe his Counsels and Commands as Oracles, not to converse with those he suspects, to inveigh against his Enemies; to make him their Mouth, and themselves even in their own Affairs ruled by him; to take great content in serving him; to praise him immoderately before those who will be sure to inform him of it; to exaggerate every small Favour received from him, and to dissemble the Injuries. They are also careful to new-name all his Vices; Debauchery they call Merriment; Jealousy Circumspection; Prodigality Generosity, etc. They feign also in themselves, the like Inclinations, Sympathy, and Sentiments with their Patron, and often undervalue themselves in respect to him. They are also apt to praise him, for what he hath not done, or extravagantly for what he hath done, glozing and putting a Varnish over all Miscarriages, etc. and few there are who escape this Bait. For who is he who values not himself above his deserts, and thinks not all is his due which is given? In reality, the refusing or accepting of Praise rationally and discreetly, is as great a Trial of a Wise Man, as the Cupel is of Silver. My Concern for the Miscarriage of a late young Kinsman of ours, who was ruined merely by harkening to the adulations of such Parasites, and forsook the advices of his Friends and nearest Relations have made me be more punctual in describing the craft and subtlety of these wicked Men, whose Conversation is not only Ignominious in the sight of this World, but will make you Eternally Miserable in the next. I have here (my dear Son) sent you my Advice for the management and Conduct of yourself, in the most important Affairs of this World. They are not in such a method as I could wish they were, and as I thought at first to have reduced them, but my Employment in the Public Affairs of the Nation would not permit me to place these my Admonitions in so accurate a method as I intended, by diverting my Thoughts to look after my other Business. Yet I believe I have omitted but little of what I should have said, and dare promise myself that among these lines you may pick out what will be of use to you in your most especial Concerns. As to your Behaviour in the University, I have altogether left you to the Management of your Tutor, whose Advices and Admonitions if you follow, I'm sure I need not despair of receiving such a return as all your Friends and myself expect from you. This I charge you upon my Blessing, not to neglect the Public Prayers in your College, from which nothing but sickness ought to give you a dispensation. By this you will be an Example to all the other Gentlemen of your Society, and oblige all good Men to be your Friends; add joy to your Relations and be the greatest Comfort in this World to Your Affectionate and Loving FATHER. A CATALOGUE OF BOOKS Worth the Perusing. Sold by the Booksellers of London and Westminster. 1. ADvice to a Daughter under these following Heads, viz. Religion, etc. 2. The Works of Edmund Spencer, Esq; Containing his Fairy Queen, etc. 3. A Weeks Exercise preparatory towards a worthy Reception of the Lords Supper, in Meditations, Prayers and Ejaculations, before, at, & after the holy Communion; also Rules and Exercises how to live well after it. The second Edition. 4. Sophonisba or Hanibals overthrow. Written by Nat. Lee. 5. The State of Innocence, or the Fall of Man, an Opera. written by Mr. John Dryden, in Heroic Verse. 6. Advice to a young Lord, written by his Father, under these following Heads, viz. Religion, Study and Exercises, Travel, Marriage, Housekeeping, and Hospitality, of the Court, of Friendship, of Pleasure and Idleness, and of Conversation. 7. Milton's Paradise Lost, in Twelve Books, Fol. with Cutts. 8. Love for Money, or the Boarding-School, showing the Folly of those that put their Children therein, and also exposing the subtlety of Jilts about London, etc. A Comedy, written by T. D. Gent. 9 The Visions of Don Francisco de Quevedo Villegas, Knight of the Order of St. James: Made English by Sir R. L. 10. The Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral, of Sir Francis Bacon, Lord Verulam, Viscount St. Alban, with a Table of the Colours of Good and Evil, whereunto is added the Wisdom of the Ancients. 11. Lively Oracles given to us, or the Christians Birthright and Duty, in the Custody and Use of the Holy Scripture, by the Author of the Whole Duty of Man. 12. Ovid's Metamorphosis Englished, by George Sandys. The Eighth Edition. 13. A Dialogue concerning Women, being a Defence of the Sex.— Written to Eugenia. 14. Plutarch's Morals, Translated by several hands. FINIS.