A FOUNTAIN OF TEARS Emptying itself into three Rivulets, viz of 1 Compunction. 2 Compassion. 3 Devotion. Or Sobs of nature sanctified by grace. Languaged in several Soliloquies, and Prayers, upon various Subjects, for the benefit of all that are in affliction; and particularly in these distressed times of war. By john Featley Chaplain to his Majesty & sometimes preacher in the Island St. Christopher's. Ier: 9.1. O that mine head were waters, and mine eyes a Fountains of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people. AMSTERDAM. Printed for JOHN CROSS English Bookseller i● the Calver-streete, ne●re the English Church, 1646. To the ROYAL MAJESTY of Our DREAD SOVEREIGN CHARLES By the grace of God KING of GREAT BRITTAIGNE FRANCE & YRELAND, etc. And To the RIGHT HONOURABLE the LORDS and COMMONS assembled in PARLIAMENT, the unworthy Author humbly dedicateth these his weak Endeavours. To the Reader. Christian. THou art here invited to thy punishment; yet such as is intended for thy profit. Blame me not for the former, lest thou partakest not of the latter. No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: Heb: 12 11. nevertheless afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness, unto them which are exercised thereby. I have laboured to accompany thee in all thy sadness; Cant. 2 5. & therein to Stay thee with flagons, yea with flagons full of that re-viving wine which cometh from the true Vine: Io: 15.1. Prov. 〈◊〉 25.11. and to comfort thee with apples, even with words fitly spoken, which (according to King Solomon) are like apples of gold in pictures of silver. True it is that in this little book (as in the roll of the book sent to Ezekiel) are written Lamentations, and Mourning, and Woe: Eze: 2.9. but it is not my fault. All these words seemed to be pronounced unto me by the mourners in Zion, jer. 3● 18. & I wrote them with ink in the book. So long as we are sinful, we must be sorrowful: I have but languaged thy sighs, and lent a tongue to thy Sobs (if thou art such as I aim at) & endeavoured to rectify thy Tears. Thou art here entertained at David's Ordinary: Ps. 42.3 His tears were his meat day and night. I hope thou wilt not think that I dishonour thee, when I seat thee with a King. I was first invited to this task by the moans of a gracious and virtuous gentlewoman, Mris: Elizabeth Keate, wife of Mr. Gilbert Keate, a grave and eminent Citizen of London. who much complained that her sex was so much neglected by Divines, that they had not penned devotions for all their several sufferances that are common to many: only here and there she found a few small glean proper for some occasions of grief. It is about five years since I took her complaint to be a kind of command, and settled myself to the work: yet (although I hastened it with what speed I could (considering my constant course of preaching) the same day that I finished my book, 2. Tim. ●. 7. she finished her course. No sooner had I ended mourning out this Fountain of Tears in my study, than I was sent for to her sad house of mourning: where, (having given her a relish of many of these Soliloquies and Prayers, especially of those which are fitted for the dying) she thanked me for them as long as she lived: for even after that her tongue was ensnared in the jaws of death, what she could not by language she expressed by signs. From her father she brought a name with her into the world, which could not choose but put her in mind of the power of the Almighty, Bra●fort or Armstrong, an ancient & noble family in Nottinghamshire; in which Countle her worthy father did live at Rem stone. 1. Cor. 15.25. 1. Pet: 3.7. 1. Ki● 18 who in Psal: 89.10. is said to have scattered his enemies with his Strong-Arme: & by the same power which the most-high vouchsafed her, she overcame the last enemy which was to be destroyed. For her dear sake these Soliloquies and Prayers were fitted for Females, and taught to speak in the persons of the Weaker vessels. I hope no Man will blame me for it: for it is but changing the gender according to the sex, and the book may be useful unto both. When first I began to pen it, there arose but a little cloud, like a man's hand; this Devout mourner then grieving chief out of jealousy that either her Tears were not enough for her sins; or not seasoned enough with the sanctifying grace of the blessed Spirit. Then her Heart was complained of: next, her lost time was bemoaned. But afterward by degrees the whole heaven was black with clouds and wind (her eyes were full laden with tears, verse 45 and her heart with sighs) & there was a great rain. For her house was visited with the pestilence, and shut up by her own appointment: One of her sweet and tender children, and a gracious Matron Cousin unto her, died of that uncomfortable disease: And her weak self all this while was moulting and crumbling away in a Consumption. At length upon her white, thinn, and sinking cheeks the characters of her tears (which were firm evidences of her unfeigned repentance) not being fully dry; a little dust was thrown upon them, and then she was laid up in the Cabinet of her grave. To that work than finished I have added nothing but those tears which are shed in these distracted times of an Unnatural War: and I hope that addition will not be unfruitful; I am sure (and I grieve not a little that I am so sure) it is not unseasonable. For mine own part, I have not been without my portion of sufferances in these stormy times; Num. 27.14. Ps. 106 32. Ex: 15.23. Ps: 104 3. and drinking a deep draught of these waters of Meribah, these waters of strife, by my taste they relish like the waters of Marah. I could here call to mind how upon the wings of the wind fleeing from one danger, I have been involved in thousands. The boisterous and churlish swelling of a rough and troublesome Severne, full of unexpected turn and wind, carrying us fare to sea, was the cause of embalning two of my dear children in the salt ocean: & was like to have proved the ruin of four more of them, besides the beloved wife of my bosom; but it pleased God at last that all (except those two) came safe to land. Ps: 74.20. The dark & remote places of the earth, which are full of the habitations of cruelty, entertained me with vexatious troubles, and pining sickness. In mine absence from my divided country one of the brightest burning and shining lights of our Church, went out in a damp. D.D.F. A man dear to me not only because an uncle by alliance, but also because my chiefest and safest Oracle among men whilst he lived; and a friend, Deut: 13. which was as mine own soul; the sad loss of whom still doth, and still will sit cold & heavy upon my wounded heart. Some comfort indeed I have in that sweet odour he left behind him, from whence every. Christian may receive an Aromatic perfume of learned profit and content; yea even those who too unkindly were the cause of putting salt water upon that sweet wax, whereby the Taper was extinguished. To these losses & afflictions I might add many, many more; beside my present condition among strangers and foreigners; and my continual heartquakes at the strict menaces of the ruin and Desolation of my poor, bleeding, gasping country. Yet while there is life there is hope; even that he who hath made our land to tremble, Ps. 60.2 and hath broken it, will in his own due time heal the breaches thereof, for it shaketh. In this Manual thou shalt find no Author quoted, but the Best of all; and no language but English. The whole book is in thy mother tongue; and all the proofs (excepting a very few) are Scripture. Luc: 23 ●8. The weeping daughters of jerusalem love best to be comforted in the language of Canaan, Is. 19.18. Here I ●ould an Ewer, nay a Fountain of ●ater to those that need it for the re●eshing of their souls: yet I hinder ●…ne from turning their own Cocks, ●…d letting them run. If any con●emne the work as needless in these rightest times (for so they are ●ought to be) set forms of prayers be●…g by many dashed quite out of coun●mance: let them know that these are ●…t intended for them, but for those ●ho do need, and will use them. I unfine not any to these Forms: nor ●e I deny them to any who shall wil●ngly accept them, In them thou hast ●e helpe● ●f many choice places of scripture 〈◊〉 for thy several occasi●…s; which peradventure otherwise would not be so ready at hand when ●ou shouldest stand in need of them. Whatsoever throughout the whole ●ooke thou findest good, know that 〈◊〉 is Gods; & now made thine as well as mine: bless him for it. What thou indest here amiss (except the faults of the press) I confess it mine; yet ●either wittingly, nor willingly is it mine: howsoever charge it to mine account. Do thou friendly reckon with me, and I will thankfully satisfy thee: and be sure to remember that as it is thy duty to be thankful for the best, so thou oughtest to be charitable in thy censure of the rest. Consider what I say, 2. Tim. 2.7. and the Lord give thee understanding in all things. Thy servant in him Phil: 2.7. who took upon him the form of a servant for us, JOHN FEATLEY. From my house in Flushing: April 17. 1646. A Table of the particular contents. THe First subject. Tears of Godly sorrow, or devout Melancholy wherein a flexible disposition apt to weep employeth those Tears in a Sorrow for sin. The soliloquy. p. 1 The Prayer. p. 7 Tears from the Heart The soliloquy confistnig of 3 parts, viz: 1 The wickedness of a corrupted heart. p. 11 2 Alamentation for the loss of an honest heart. p. 23 3 Grief for an old and sinful heart; and an earnest desire of a righteous new one. p. 35 The Prayer. p. 45 Tears of Time. The soliloquy consisting of 3 parts viz: 1 A Revieuw of the time past. p. 48 2 A Consideration of the time present. p. 64 3 A Resolution for the time to come. p. 75 The Prayer. p. 83 Tears in the night. The soliloquy Divided into 3 parts, fitted for the time. 1 Immediately before going to bed, p. 85 Evening Prayer. p. 98 2 Of lying down in the bed. p. 100 3 Of awaking in the night. p. 111 Tears in the Day, Divided into 3 parts, and fitted for the time. 1 Of awakng early in the morning. p. 123 2 Of being newly risen. p; 136 The morning Prayer. p. 146 3 Of preparing to go to dinner. p. 149 Tears of Compassion in time of prosperity. The soliloquy, treating of earthly riches and the reward of Charity. p. 161 The Prayer. p. 18● 7 Tears in time of adversity in 4 Soliloquies, treating of 1 A decayed estate or plenty turned into poverty. p. 18● 2 The prayer. p. 204. 2. Hunger both corporal, & sp●rituall. p. 208 The prayer. p. 23● 3 Thirst both bodily and ghostly. p. 23● The Prayer p. 24● 4 Nakedness both of the Outward and Inwar● man. p. 249 The Prayer. p. 260 8 A Virgin's Tears. The soliloquy. p. 26● The Prayer. p. 27● 9 Tears of a Married woman, soliloquy treating of th● duties of a wife to her husband. p. 275 the prayer. p. 29● 10 Tears of an Aged woman p. 293 The prayer. p. 307 11 Tears of a Barren woman. p. 311 The prayer. p. 321 12 Tears of a Childbearing woman. 1 At the time when thee beginneth to fall in travel 2 After her delivery. The soliloquy consisting of 3 parts 1 The Cause of the sorrow, and the confidence of th● sorrowing. p. 324 2 The greatness of the pangs, hazards, and fears of a Travelling woman. p. 332 3 Consolation, and comfort for a woman in the bitterness of her Travel. p. 340 The prayer. p. 343 2 Tears of a woman after her delivery from the pains of childbearing. p. 346 The Prayer p. 351 13 Tears in time of Pestilence, The Soliloquy consesting of 6 several parts— treating of. 1 Mourning by example, in a public calamity. p. 354 2 Several causes of gods visitations. p. 368 3 Sin especially the cause of the pestilence. p. 381 4 Several examples of dreadful Pestilences. p. 388 5 Gods threatening before his visitation. p. 395 6 The duty of a Christian decreeing to whom and for whom we ought to pray in time of Pestilence. p. 403 The Prayer. p. 413 ●4 Tears of her whose house is shut up for the Pestilence, The Soliloquy. p. 420 The Prayer. p. 431 ●5 Tears of her who is visited with the Pestilence, being. 1 Either wounded with a Sore. p. 437 2 Or marked with the tokens. p. 445 The prayer. p. 455 ●6 Tears of a Mother for the sickness of her child, the soliloquy. p. 461 The Prayer. p. 469 ●7 Tears of a Mother for the death of her child, The soliloquy. p. 473 The Prayer. p. 480 ●8 Tears of a Wife for the sickness of her husband, The soliloquy. p. 484 The Prayer. p. 492 ●9 Tears of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband, the soliloquy. p. 495 the prayer. p. 506 ●0 A woman's Tears at the Funeral of her husband, the soliloquy. p. 510 The Prayer. p. 528 ●1 Tears of a woman in the state of Widowhood, the soliloquy. p. 531 The Prayer. p. 543 ●2 Tears of an Orphan at the death of her father, The soliloquy. p. 545 The Prayer. p. 561 ●3 Tears for the death of a beloved Friend or Brother, The soliloquy. p. 563 the Prayer. p. 573 ●4 Tears in a Cousumption or any languishing sickness, the soliloquy consisting of 3 parts. 1 a complaint and description of the manner of the seize. p. 575 2 The cause of the Malady. p. 581 3 The hope of recovery. p. 592 The Prayer. p. 605 25 Tears of a Mother on her deathbed blessing her children. The soliloquy Consisting of two parts viz: 1 Her preparation to bless them. p. 609 2 The blessing itself, ending in a Prayer. p. 616 26 Tears of a dying Woman, wherein is set down her Religious exercises. 1 a soliloquy in which is set forth 1 a desire of life. p. 627 2 Certainty of death. p. 637 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death. p. 644 3 A Prayer of the Sick. p. 654 4 The Consolation of the godly in the hour of death. p. 658 5 The Resignation of the foul into the hands of God. p. 664 27 Tears in the distressed time of Civil Wars. The soliloquy, Containing a Pathetical, & grievous Lamentation for the present distractions both in our Church and Commonwealth by reason of these cruel & most bloody wars. p. 669 The First prayer wherein is set down. 1. God's justice in punishing his own people in former times. 2 His justice also in the present punishing us for our offences. 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgiveness. p. 701 The second Prayer consisting of. 1 A doleful complaint of our grievous Calamities. 2 An humble desire of the Remission of our sins. 3 A fervent supplication for righteousness & peace. p. 713 The third Prayer, wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our bloody battles may be turned into a spiritual war fare. p. 722 FINIS. THE FIRST SUBJECT Tears of godly sorrow, or Devout Melancholy: wherein, a flexible disposition apt to weep, employeth those Tears in a sorrow for sin. The sanctified Ejaculation to precede each several meditation, and prayer. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THE MEDITATION. WHy art thou so full of heaviness, Ps: 42.6 o my soul; and why art thou so disquieted within me? What, nothing but tears? Nothing ●ut sighs, and throbs of â trembling soul? Grief without cause is madness; and without moderation it is hopeless. I must ●herfore look into the cause, and hope it is Religion that raiseth this tempest. But let me not err in my judgement. Is my sin the cause of my sorrow? Or, do not I rather add to my sin by the pretence of my ground? That tear of a faithful soul which floweth from the conscience of evil, purifieth the conscience, and freeth from punishment. If the weight of my transgressions depresseth my soul, the comforts of the Crucified shall restore me to joy, Oh, the first cause of my blubbered eye, was that which made our parents strive to hid themselves from the sight of our Creator. Gen 3.8. Since that very offence, it hath been a sin not to weep: and yet too much weeping may be turned into sin. Tears are the effect of sin; and tears may be the actors of sin. Thus even our best actions have their pollutions: & our grief for our offences may as well displease, as pacify the offended Deity. But surely I grieve for mine iniquities which have incensed my Creator; & I sorrow because I can express no more sorrow for my faults. Thus fare my passion, then, is religion: Ps. 56.8 Lu: 7.38. & my God shall put these tears into his bottle. Thus Marry Maydalene stood at the feet of my Saviour behind him weeping, washing his feet with her tears, and wiping them with the hairs of her head. My sin is the ground of my shame; and my shame enforceth me to come behind that jesus, Ier: 9 1 whom Mary thus embalmed. O that my head were waters, & mine eyes a fountain of tears that I might thus weep day and night for the offences which I have committed! But do not I slander my tears? Am I not mistaken in the cause? God forbidden. No cause can be so great as the greatness of my sins; and yet even these may multiply when I most lament them. O my God, accept of the tears which I shed for my sins: & sanctify my sorrows, that they turn not into offences. Yet I find in the Scripture, other causes of laments. 2. King 20.5. Ier: 9.17. Thus the Almighty not only heard the prayers of Hezekiah, but saw his tears too, when he pleaded for life. The jews were commanded to call for the mourning women; to make haste, and take up a wailing for them, that their eyes might run down with tears, & their eyelids gush out with water, because the voice of wailing was heard out of Zion: the destruction of the Iewes was hard at hand. Thus the Prophet's eyes did fail with tears; Lam: 2.11. his bowels were troubled; his liver was poured upon the earth for tâe destruction of jerusalem. This grief arose from the sense of their sorrow, That the most high was provoked by the sin of the prople. What the jews deser●ed may be my reward; and what jerusalem expected, may be my heavy doom: for the fame God is offended with me; and my sins have merited the height of his vengeance. Yet the more I sin, the more he spare's, expecting some measure of my sorrow for my boundless offences. O let my tears be his, by a gracious acceptance, as my sin is made his by his father's imputation: for he alone who wept in the garden can plead my atonement, and by the power of his passion, restore me to comfort. Incredulity in part did trouble the man in the Gospel, Mar: 9.14. whose son was Possessed with a devil both deaf and dumb: yet he cried out; and said with tears, Lord I believe, help my unbelief. Deafness, I find, doth hang in mine ear too, even in the house of my God; for when mine attention is required to the words which distil from the mouth of the preacher, even than the poison of the serpent makes me imitate the adder, refusing to hear the voice of the charmer; Ps. 58.4 5. When I should counsel my brethren; when I should publish the truth; when I should confess my sins; woe is me, the string of my tongue is knit, jam. 3.5. the doors of my lips are sealed up; and though mine unruly little member is active in the language of all impiety, yet it is stricken dumb with silence when it should publish mine enormities. Whence grows this dumbness? whence this deafness? Lord, shouldest thou be so deaf to my cries, or dumb to my heart; I should never hope for the mercies of my Redeemer. But some faith thou hast given me in the merits of his passion; do thou increase it. The seed is thine; the planting is thine: Lord, let it flourish, that the advantage may be mine. Mar: 13 32. It is, as yet the least of all seeds; let it grow into a tree, that the birds, the birds of Paradise may nest in the branches. Thou hast planted it; 1. Cor: 3.6. my tears shall water it; do thou give the increase to it. Something I apprehend; but it is but in a mist: Some thing I believe; but it is but dully, it is but imperfectly, it is but weakly; Lord I believe, help my unbelief. Mar: 9.24. O that my tears might be so sanctified, that my grief might be a delight. I must, I will search, inquire, find out my secret crimes those snakes that lie hid under the green leaves of my best, my glorious actions. I know that I am all sin, all corruption: and yet though I say that I know it, though I know that I know it; yet enough I do not, I cannot know it. The more I pry into it, the nearer is mine cye drawn to a narrowness: the more I poor upon it, the sooner is mine eye tired into a dulness. Each part, each member is either an abettour, or an actor of sin. What then shall I do? Tears I can shed; but it is rather through the disposition of nature, than the operation of grace. I will weep therefore, because I am so apt to grieve, when my corruption is not truly the ground of my grief. I will punish mine eyes with tears for shedding so many tears not grounded on a sorrow for my wickedness. Now the sponges are full, my sins shall squeeze them. Now my windows shall be brightened with the brine, with the lie of my tears. Come, I must mourn, for I have found the cause, the ground of all religious grief, which I am ashamed to own. Ps: 6.6. Now, with David I will cry until I am weary of my groaning: every vight will I wash my bed, and water my couch with my tears. 1. Sam: 30.4. With David again, and the prople that were with him, pondering upon their loss at the spoiling of Ziklag, I will lift up my voice and weep untull I have no more power to weep. job 30.31. Now, with the man of miseries, the patiented job, my harp shall be turned into mourning, and my Organ into the voice of them that weep. C: 16.16. My face shall be fowl with weeping; and on mine eye lids shall sit the shadow of death. Now with David again, 2. Sam. 12.22. While the child is yet alive, the child of corruption, the monstrous, spurious, abortive brat of sin is alive with in me, I will fast & weep, but in a contrary hope to that indulgent father, I will cry, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, vers. 22 that the child may not live; or if it live, it may but linger, but languish, but despair of strength, or health, or life? Thus I pine: thus I grieve; & yet, me thinks I am ashamed that I do so: I am troubled that I am thus troubled. Well; if mine eye be offended with the motes, with the dusts of sin that fly into it, I will wash it with it's own water. If my face blush at the punishment of the eyes, because it is childish thus to cry, I will confess it, I will acknowledge it: thus every child, every child of my God does cry, must cry. And if all this force not shame into my bashful cheek, for blushing at my tears, than (with that good king Hezekiah) I will turn my face to the wall; but I will still weep, and weeping (that my tears be not spilt, be not lost, be not shed in vain) as that King, 2. King 20.3. so myself (though the meanest, though the worst of subjects, of slaves) will pray, and praying I will say. The Prayer. GReat God, who on the second day of thine own labour didst create a firmament in the midst of the waters, Gen: 1.6. so now, in thy mercy, put a distinction in the waters that flow from my troubled eyes. O let heaven divide between them, that those which dwell in the clouds for the sins I have committed, may be distinguished from those that arise from sin. By thy servant Ezekiel thou complainest of jerusalem, that she was not salted at all. Lord, Eze: 16 4. I am salted in the brine of my tears: o let me be preserved in the love of thee my Creator. The causes of my grief, are the offences I have committed: that a God so great, should be incensed by a worm; that a God so good, should be dishonoured by a miscreant. Thou art my God, though offended: thou shalt even be my God, though thou art now displeased. I have hope of pardon while I continue thine, although I cannot choose but sin against thee, who art so lovingly mine. The heathens themselves did sacrifice to their Gods. They had many; I have but one. To thee that one, that holy one do I offer what thou dost require, a heart; as thou doe●… require it, broken; but not so sanctified not so cleansed as it ought to be: Lev: 2.13. Yet it is offered with salt, as thou requirest; even with the salt of my tears. Dan. 9.19. O Lord hear; o Lord have mercy; o Lord in mercy receive the cries, the groans, the tears that flow from this , this broken offering. These tears are the blood of a penitent soul: for the blood of thy Son receive in mercy. Num. 20.11. The rock of my heart hath been smitten with thyrod, from whence do issue these springs of waters. Lord do thou even water my tears with the dew of thy grace, and mollify my heart by the strength of thy power, that both heart, and eyes, Io: 17.6 and tears may be thine. Thine they were; and thou gavest them me. Thine they are; I give them thee. O let this rock, this heart be an altar; these eyes the priests; and these tears the sacrifices acceptable unto thee, my Lord, and my God. My heart is the censor and my sighs and groans the incense: Io: 20.28. do thou buth add a sweetness thereto, and so shall it allay the strictness of thy fury. My sins, o God, have dwelled in mine eyes; but now I have made them drunk with my tears. Thus let me ever weep: thus let me ever grieve. It is a joy, to be thus sorrow full: it is a comfort, to be thus distressed. Lord in every part, in every crumb of this broken heart, I find thy merciful, thine in dulgent self. In every sigh, 1. King 9.12. in every groan I perceive that thou my Lord art in it a soft wind. In every tear that trickleth from mine eyes thou hast a lustre, thou hast an habitation. O let me ever thus live in thy favour. Let all my grief be for offending thee; Ps. 42.3 Ps. 6.6. Ps. 80.5 Ps. 104.9. and all my sorrow be for thy displeasure: So shall my tears (with David) be my meat, my drink, my bread, my bath, my only joy and delight, because thou takest a delight there in. But o thou who hast prescribed bounds to the seas, which they cannot pass, neither turn again to cover the earth; so limit these brackish seas by the power of thy grace, that they may neither sin by excess, nor offend in the cause. Put them into thy bottle, Ps. 56.8 note them in thy book. In thy mercy, Mat. 26.38. finish soon these days of sin, that by the merits of him that was sorrowful in the garden, Rev. 7.17. all tears may one day be wiped from mine eyes; all sorrows expelled, & driven from my heart; & my soul may be received into the choir of Saints; there to live, and reign with thee, world without end, Amen. Tears from the heart. THE SECOND SUBJECT. The soliloquy consisting of three parts: viz. 1 The wickedness of a corrupted heart. 2 A Lamentation for the loss of an honest heart. 3 Grief for an old and sinful heart & an earnest desire of a righteous new one. The first part. The wickedness of a corrupted Heart. THE EjACULATION. Ps: 5. 1. Give ear to my words, O Lord consider my meditation. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Ier: 17.9. who can know it? saith God by his Prophet. What is here? A heart? Adeceit full heart? A heart deceitful above all things? A wicked heart? Desperately wicked? A heart inscrutable? Lord, surely this is the just description of my heart, if yet I have any; if I have any at all: for it is a doubt whether I have one or not. It is said of Ephraim, Hos: 7.11. that she was like a silly Dove, without heart: Surely so am I too; not for the innocency, but the simple folly of the Dove; for (like Ephraim too) I have fled from my God. vers. 13 But why should I be so simple, as to think that I have no heart? Do not I feel one with in me? Yes sure; for my meat comfort's it, Gen: 18.5. Pro: 14.30. Ps: 38.19. as Abraham desired the Angels to do by theirs. I have a sound heart which is the life of the flesh. I know I have one; for (like david's) it panteth; I can feel it beat; and that's a good sign that I have one. I know too, by the passions which I have in it; for I am subject to joy, and sorrow; to love, and battered; to fear, and courage, to hope and despair: I have the seedes of all the virtues, and vices in me: I have an understanding too, a will, and imagination, and what not which others are endued with? Why then do I complain that I have no heart, when as this very complaint ariseth from my heart? Alas I have a heart indeed, the heart of a woman: But I want a heart yet, a better heart, the heart of a Christian, What's this heart to me; this poor, inconsiderable heart, which nature lends me? 'tis but a morsel of thick, solid flesh, placed in the middle belly; the seat indeed of the vital faculties; the heart that preserveth the heat of the body; the spring head of the arteries, the chief author of breathing, and working of the pulse: a poor thing, which nature was faint to take such compassion of, as to wrap it in clouts, in a call, that it might lie quiet in it 's place, and be kept from the violence, and pressures of the neighbouring members. Yea, she's faint to dip this call too in a kind of waterish humour, and wrap it about this heart, lest the little trifle should be so hot, or dry, that it should fall into a swoone. What sh' all this to me, as I am a Christian? This poor thing shall have but a little time to lie panting in my breast, and then, though it be the eldest enlivened member, and shall linger, and outlive all the rest; yet at length it shall faint, depart, away it shall go and make a pleasant collation for the worms in the withdrawing chamber, in the cool vault of my silent grave; and so, even far them well. But what then? Is this all? The very beasts have such a dispatch; and when they are gone, there's no more expectation of sense, or any thing else. Surely I who am placed upon earth, as a kind of mistress over the inferior creatures, must one day render some account to my Lord who hath thus entrusted me. When I die, I must go to another place: Either I must be doomed to eternal misery; or else received and admitted to unspeakable, and everlasting content. I am not all flesh: I am some spirit. God hath not confined me to those narrow bounds of vegetation, and sense. No; he hath added reason to them, and made me a woman, so that, although I have a heart common with the beast, according to sense, yet I should have another heart too; a heart a 'bove either them or that; 1. Pet. 3 4. Deut. 11.16. Rom. 10.10. c. 2.15. Deut: 29.4. 1. Thes 3.13. 2. Sam. 24.10. Deut: 29.4. I have a reasonable soul, a mind, an understanding, a conscience; and each of these in the scripture is termed a heart: but this, o this is that heart which I fear I want: Want it? Yes I so want it, that either I have it not at all, or if I have it, it is such a one, as 'tis worse for me, far worse than if I had none at all. But I have none indeed. The Lord hath not given me an heart to perceive, nor eyes to ser, nor ears to hear unto thit day. When I pray, I have none: when I read the sacred oracles of the most high, I have none: when I go to the temple, and should attend to the instructions of the ambassadors of Christ, I have none: when I should put in practice, what hath arrived at my knowledge, I have none: when I should confer, & discourse of God and goodness, I have none: none at all: none in the church; none in my closet, nor in the society of the godly: at no time; in no place; upon no good occasion can I find that I have any. Or if I have one I had as good be without it; for it is a dry one: for want of watering it with my tears, I find that it is smitten down, and withered like grass. Or it is dead or at , Ps: 102 4. just dying; at the last gasp. I have been drunk with wickedness, very drunk, as Nabal was with wine at his kingly feast: but now I begin to grow a little more sober, and recollect myself, 1. Sam: 25.36. verse 37 Mat: 13 15. Ps: 119.70. Iam: 5.5. Io: 3.19 c: 9.39. I find that my heart (like his, upon the news which his wife told him) even dies within me, and I am become as a stone. Or if it be yet alive, it is a fat one; it is waxed gross, it is as fat as grease 'tis nourished as in the day of slaughter; so that through the unweildines of it, and through the destruction approaching it, I had better be without it. Or else it is a blind one, for it loveth darkness rather than light, because the deedoes there of are evil: so that, if it could have seen, it is now stark blind. Or if it be not blind I am sure that I am blind; I can see none of it. Hos: 13 8. IT is true, the reason of it is, because there is a call grows over it, and I have no body to help me, as Ephraim had, to rend the call off it, that so I might see. 1 King. 8.38. Or else it is an infected one; it is visited with the sickness, with the plague, and yet I do not know the plague of mine own heart, or else it is wicked, & so wicked, that (like unto Shimei) I cannot learn, c: 2.44. I do not know all the wickedness that mine heart is privy to: and if it be thus wicked, Pro: 10.20. I have but small comfort from King Solomon; for he tell's me, that the heart of the wicked is little worth. So that whether my heart be dry or dead, or fat, or blind, or hidden, or infected with the plague, or wicked, what am I the better for it? Nay, am I not fare worse, infinitely worse rather? And yet now I think upon it, now I examine myself a little better, I have just none at all. True it is that once I had one; but may I not say as the Prophet did, that whoredom, Hos: 4.11. and wine, and new wine have taken it away? IT is stolen away; sin hath stolen it quite away unawares of me, just as jacob stole away un awares to Laban or as Absalon stole away the hearts of the men of Israel from his father, Gen. 31.20. 2. Sam. 15.6. when they came to the King for judgement. Alas, I should have kept it in deed, I should have kept it with all diligence, if I had taken the advice of the wise King Solomon, Prov. 4.23. 1 Thes. 3.13. 2 Thes. 2.17. Heb: 13 9 Deut: 20.3. for out of it are the issues of life. I should have established it; or have begged of God, that he would have established it unblameable in holiness; that he would have established it in every good word, and work; for it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace. I felt it fainting when I feared, & trembled, and was terrified: and then I should have had a David to comfort me, and to say unto me, Ps: 31.24. Be of good courage, and God shall strengthen thine heart, thou that hopest in the Lord. I should have spoken kindly to it, as Shechem did to Dinah, Gen: 34 3. when his soul clavae unto her, and he loved the damosel, and spoke kindly to her, to her heart. Prov. 27.9. I should have rejoiced it (as Solomon says) with ointment, and perfume, with the ointment of my tears, Rev. 5.8. Iud: 19 5. and a golden viol full of such odours as St. john speaketh of, which are the prayers of the saints. I should have comforted it, not with a morsel of bread, as the Levite was advised by the father of his concubine; not of, or from, or by myself: but I should have prayed unto God, 2. Cor. 1.3. even the father of our Lord jesus Christ (as S. Paul did thank him for the Corinthians) the father of mercies, and the God of all comfort, vers. 4. to comfort it in tribulations; that I might have been able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith I myself had been comforted of God. It was grieved with in me, Ps: 73.24. and I was pricked in my reins. But I should have made it like Aaron at the sight of Moses, who was glad in his heart: Exod: 4.14. Ps: 4.7. or else I should have prayed to the Lord to have put gladness into it, as he did into David's, more than in the time when the corn and wine increased. But now, alas, it is too late: my poor heart is gone, it is stolen away from me: what shall I do to recover it again? I will arise now, Cant: 3 2. and go about the city; in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek it: vers. 3. I will say to the watchmen that go about the city, Saw ye a heart, a poor distressed heart pass by this way, that is run a stray from me, & I, poor I, know not where to find it? Alas it is not worth any one's taking up: it is not worth the keeping, I'll describe it unto you, that if ye hear of it, of such a heart, or happen to meet it, ye may send it me home again, and I may give it due correction for playing the vagrant, the run-agate. That heart which once did dwell in my breast, is the most unthankful guest that ever was harboured in the bosom of a woman. It is the great accuser of myself, for mine offences: and not content with that, having arraigued me for my sins, it hath condemned me as guilty. Ier: 17.9. It is a cozening, deceitful heart; it is deceit full above all things, and desperately wicked, even more than I can know: & full it is of tricks, full of delusions; there are many devices in it. Prov: 19.21. Ps: 38.8 Ps: 64.6 Ps: 101.4. It is a troublsome heart, in so much as many times I have roared by reason of the disquietness of it. IT is a deep heart, & not easily pried into: both my inward thoughts, & my heartit self have been very deep. It is a fro●…ard heart, so froward that now 'tis run away from me, Zech: 8.17. Mar: 15 19 'tis departed. It is an evil heart, a heart that was always imagining evil, and so great evil, that out of it have proceeded evil thoughts, murders adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, & blasphemies. Gen 8.21.6.5. job 27.6. It hath been evil even from my youth: every imagination of the thoughts of it were only evil continually. It is a reproaching heart, not like unto Iob's, who said His heart should not smite him, so long as he lived. It is a troubled heart: Ps: 25.17. Ier: 4.19. the troubles there of have been enlarged, in so much as I have been enforced to cry out, My bowels, my bowels; I have been pained at it, it made a noise in me, that I could not hold my peace: Lam: 1.20. my bowels have been troubled, for my heart hath been turned in me. IT is a cowardly, trembling heart; Deut. 28.65. I had an extreme trembling at it, when it was at home; and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind: it would tremble like Elies for the ark of God. 1. Sam. 4.13. Deut: 28.28. c: 11.16. 2. Sam: 24.10. 1. Chr. 12.33. Ps: 12.2 Iam: 4.8. Dan: 5.21. Exo. 4.21. Heb: 3.8. Rom. 2 5. Pro: 28 14. Mar: 16 14. Eph: 4. 1●. It would so grievously tremble, that I have been smitten with madness and blindness, and astonishment of it. It is an idolatrous heart, a heart apt to be deceived, & to turn aside, & serve other Gods than the great Lord of heaven, and Earth, and to worship them. It is a quarrellsome, a fight heart; a heart that (like david's) hath often struck, often smitten me. It is a double heart, a dissembling heart, a double minded heart. It is a heart like a beasts, like Nebuchadnezars', when he was driven from the sons of men, and his heart was made like the beasts. It is a hard heart, hardened like Pharao's; like the Israelites in the day of provocation: a hard, and impenitent heart, that treasured up unto itself wrath against the day of wrath, and revelation of the righteous judgement of God: a heart that was hardened, and fell into mischief: a hard, and unbelieving heart: a heart alienated from the life of God through ignorance, by reason of the hardness there of: and like that of the Israelites, it is both a hard, Eze. 3.7. job 41 24. jer. 5.3 Ez: 3.9. and an impudent heart. It is a heart harder than the nether millstone; as firm as a stone, as hard as a rock; yea it is as hard as an adamant even harder than the flint. Oh what a heart was this, and yet it is run away from me, it is gone: what shall I do? I feign would weep for the loss of it; but I cannot weep without it. c: 24.23. The curse which was threatened to the jews, is fallen upon me; I cannot mourn, nor weep; I do only pine away for the loss thereof. But why should I grieve for the departure of a heart so dry, so dead, so fat and so blind? Of a heart so hidden, so plagued, so wicked, and so condemning? Of a heart so deceitful, so deluding, so trouble some, & so deep? Of a heart so froward, so evil, so reproaching, and so troubled? Of a heart so trembling, so idolatrous, so smiting, and so double? Of a heart so beastlike, so hard, so unbelieving, and so inpudent? I consider, and acknowledge how wicked it is, & yet I am sorry me thinks, that it is gone. But am I sure that this sinful heart is gone indeed? Or do I but seem to go heartless up & down, seeking for that which hath bred this disturbance; Ah, I fear that I have it still with in my bosom; and yet I am fond possessed with a fear that I have lost it. I may find it again, too soon, to my sorrow; and upon a strict enquiry, woe is me, I shall find it a bout me at every turn. I may find it at my table, in every dish; and there it is gluttonous: in a glass of wine; and there it is drunken, in filthy muck, and there it is covetous: in my bed; and there it is lascivious: in mine apparel; & there it is proud: in the welfare of my neighbours; & there it is envious: in a quarrel; and there it is contentious: in the synagogues of Satan; and there it is idolatrous. Where can I look; what can I behold that's naught, that's wicked; and not find my heart there? And why then all this complaining? All this seeking, and searching for it? Alas, Alas 'tis too bad to leave me: it is too wicked to run from me. From hence, shall grow my tears; even because I understand not my heart. It is with me; but I know it not: it is within me; but I understand it not: it torment's me; and yet I am so stupid, that I feel it not: it is ready to bring me to ruin; & yet I seek not to prevent the danger. Lord how mad am I, thus to possess, & yet not to believe that I possess, a heart thus wicked, and yet not to believe that it is so wicked? What shall I do? Nay, what wilt thou do with such a heart as this? It dishonoureth thee: it corrupteth me. From goodness it drives me; to wickedness it leads me. Whither soever I go, whatsoëver I do, it induceth me to sin, & by consequence (without thine infinite mercies) to eternal damnation. In this desperate condition what shall I do? Amend it I cannot; correct it I cannot; and yet be quit of it, be rid of it, I cannot. But why do I give over the hope of its amendment, as if no means were left to prevent my ruin? I must not distrust of the goodness of my God. My heart is dry; but by his assistance I will water it with my tears: It is dead; I will re-vive it with my tears: it is fat I will make it pine with my tears: it is blind; I will open its eyes with my tears: it is hidden; I will reveal it in my tears: it is infected; I will cure it with my tears: it is wicked; I will correct it with my tears: it is deceitful; I will punish it with my tears: it is troublesome; I will quiet it with my tears: it is froward; I will still it with my tears: it is evil; I will better it with my tears: it trembleth; I will comfort it with my tears: it is idolatrous; I will rectify it with my tears: it is quarrelsome; I will tame it with my tears; it is double; I will single it again with my tears: it is beastlike; I will new baptise it in my tears, it is hard; I will mollify it with my tears: it is incredulous; I will make it faithful by my tears: & it is impudent; I will make it blush with my tears. Or if these eyes be dry; or these tears but sew; or these few tears of too little value to effect my desires; O thou who once in the fervency of thy devotion, in the depth of thine agovy didst seat as it were great drops of blood, Luc: 22.44. which fell from thy body for the sins of he world: o thou who in thy tender compassion seeing Mary at thy feet weeping & the jews about thee weeping for the deoeased Lazarus, didst groan in spirit, Io: 11.33. & weep with the mourners; increase thou the tears of mine eyes for the sins of my heart, & give them virtue by those tears which fell from thine; that I may weep, and lament, and be sorrowful for my corrupted heart; Io: 16.20. that so my sorrow may be turned into joy, Amen. The second part Of the soliloquy. A lamentation for the loss of an honest heart. No pain can be compared to the pain of the heart: and cerrainly no loss can be so great as the loss of the heart. What comfort then can I expect, can I find in any thing, who have lost my first, my best, my dearest heart? Once I had one; and w●e is to this time, where in I must say, I bad. Yes; I had, indeed I had, a heart, such a heart, so pliable a heart to all goodness, that I am enforced now, to my cost, to value it only by the loss thereof. I was then a field, Ps: 107 37. Io: 15.1 Luc: 8.21. a pleasant field, that yielded my fruit with increase. Yea I was manured, ploughed, sowed, and harrowed by the best of husbandmen, by God himself. The seed was the word of God: vers. 15 that seed fell on this ground, this good ground (for so I then was) and with an honest, vers. 15 and good heart, having heard the word, I kept it, and brought forth fruit with patience: Sure I did; I brought forth fruit, good fruit; or else I am much deceived. But why then, Gen: 3.18. do I now lie fallow? Why do I produce nothing but thorns & thistles, the curse of the earth? Heb: 6.8. 1. Cor. 3.9. Why nothing but thorns & briers, whose end is to be burned? I was in those days, ah I was God's husbandry: but since that time he hath left me off, & my ground is grown out of heart, quite out of heart; for he would dig me no more; he would plough me no more; he would soil me no more. But what is the cause of his anger? Wherefore did he thus leave me; thus forsake me? Alas, the reason is too manifest: I would needs take the plough out of his hands. I would not suffer him willingly any longer to break up the fallow ground of my heart: Ier: 4.3 but I myself would plough. And what is the effect? What is the event thereof? Nothing but misery; nothing but woe: for I have ploughed wickedness, Hos: 10 13. and I have reaped iniquity, and eaten the fruit of lies. I would needs follow mine own ways, Deu: 22 10. and plough with an ox, and an ass; with thoughts clean, & unclean; pure, and impure; joining them together; and therefore to my woe I find the words of King Solomon in me most sadly ve rified, Prov. 21.4. job 4.8 that the ploughing of the wicked is sin. And yet I, ahwretched I, do still follow the plough: I plough iniquity, and sow wickedness; and yet, for all that, I look not to reap the Same; but I expect, fond I expect, a harvest of goodness; a crop of blessings. Ps: 129.6. But now I find that those blessings do whither even before they grow up. The mower, I find, vers. 7. cannot fill his hand with them; nor he that bindeth up sheaves, his bosom. Neither do they which go by, say. vers. 8. The blessing of the Lord be upon you: we bless you in the name of the Lord. Oh, if God would but once again take me into his care, and husbandry, Ps: 1.3. I might bring forth good fruit in due season, Then though I should go on my way weeping, Ps: 126.6. yet I might bear precious seed, & come again with rejoicing bringing my sheaves with me. This I might do, if he would manure me; if he would dung me, Lord, 1. Cor. 4.13. let me rather be made as the filth of the world, & the off-scowring of all things, than not be manured by thee. Make me to account all things but dung, Phil. 3.8. that I may win thee; and that so winning thee, I may once again be in heart; that I may have a heart; Deu: 5.29. even such a heart may be in me that I may fear thee and keep all thy commandments illway, that it may be well with me for ever. I had once a soft heart, like job; job 23.16. Eph. 4.32. 2. Chr. 34.27. for God made it soft; and the Almighty troubled me, I had a tender heart, apt to forgive: a heart that was tender, for I humbled my self before my God, like josiah, and rend my clothes, and wept before him. He did mollify it, & made it fleshy: he took the stony heart out of my flesh, Eze: 11.19. & gave me an heart of flesh; not given to the flesh, to the foulness, the filthiness of the flesh; but such a heart of flesh as was flexible, soft, easy to be pierced: I could weep, & lament for every sin for every transgression which I had committed against my good God. It was a melting heart; it would melt like the hearts of the Babylonians, Is: 13.7. Ps. 22.14. when their destruction was threatened to be effected by the Medes: it would melt like wax in the midst of my bowels. And well it might melt, for it would burn: it would burn within me, like the hearts of the two disciples going to Emaus: Luc: 24 32. & yet this heartburning was no disease neither; but (as it was with David) when mine heart was hit within me, then in my meditation the fire burned. Ps: 39.3 And well again might it melt, into tears, for it was a mourning heart; Eccl: 7.4. Io: 16.6 it delighted to be in the house of mourning: it was full of sorrow as were the hearts of the disciples, when Christ had told them of the persecutions, which they should suffer. I had great thoughts of heart, Iud: 5.15. Ps: 119.161. such as were for the divisions of Reuben: a heart very awful; for it stood in a we of the word of my God. This heart of flesh so soft, and tender; so mollified, and melting; so burning; so mourning; this sorrowful, and thoughtful heart, was so apt for any impression of goodness, that (like unto Solomon) I could find in it, 2: Sam. 7.27. I could find an aptness in it to pray unto the Lord. Prov: 3.3. It was a writing table: God had written mercy, and truth upon the table there of; and in more perfect characters too, than the Gentiles had, Rom: 2 15. I could show the work of the law written in my heart. It was a loving heart; Mat: 5.43. it would love my neighbour, and not hate mine enemies. It was a broken heart; and although it was broken, yet was it whole; I could seek the Lord, like jehosaphat, 2 Chr: 22.9. with my whole heart. Yea this I could do (as Abimelech said of himself, concerning his taking of Sarah, Gen: 20.5. Ps: 119.10. Abraham's wife) I could do it in the integrity of my heart; & innocency of my hands, With this whole heart I could seek the Lord; I could love him, I could believe, I could praise him. Deu: 4.29. c: 6.5. I could seek him with all my heart, and with all my soul: I could love him; yea I could love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul, & with all my might. I could believe (as Philip said to the Eunuch) I could believe, Act: 8.37. Ps: 9.1. even with all my heart. I could praise him all so: even with David, I could praise the Lord, with my whole heart. Ps: 119.80. This whole heart was sound too, as David prayed; even sound in the statutes of my God, that I might not be ashamed. This sound heart was single too; single even like those good servants, whom Saint Paul commandeth to be obedient unto them that are their masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, Ep: 6.5. in singleness of heart as unto Christ. Act: 2.46. I could eat my meat with gladness, Act: 2.46. Ps: 12.2 and singleness of heart. It was not then my custom to speak vanity unto my neighbour: to speak with flattering lips, or with a double heart. And though thus single was my heart, 1 King 4.29. yet was it no small one: it was large: God had given unto me, as unto Solomon, both wisdom, Ps: 119.32. Ps: 17.3 and understanding, and largeness of heart: and (like David) I did run the way of his commandments, when he had thus enlarged it, This large heart was a proved one too; for God had proved it, and Visited me, and tried me, when I was purposed, that my mouth should not transgress. Ps: 7.9. 1. Chr: 29.17. Ps: 26.2 It was tried; tried by my God, by my righteous God, which tryeth the hearts, and reins: even by him who tryeth the heart, and hath pleasure in uprightness: the very self same God did examine me, and prove me; he tried my reins, & my heart? And this loving heart; this broken, yet whole heart; this sound, and single heart; Ps: 101.2. 1. King 8.61. Act: 16.14. this large, and tried heart was found perfect. I did walk with in my house with a perfect heart: it was perfect with the Lord my God, to walk in his statutes, & to keep his commandments. It was an open heart; it was opened lke Lydia's, that I could attend to the things that were spoken by our Paul's. It opened so wide; or at least with sorrow it was so filled, that at length it broke. Ier: 23.9. Mine heart within me (like unto Ieremiah's) was broken; all my bones did shake; I was like a drunken man; and like a man whom wine hath overcome. O full well too, it then was with me, even when my heart was broken; for it had been stone, nothing but stone before; when neither promises, nor mercies; neither menaces, nor judgements could work upon it. It had been a stone, a three-cornerd stone, until it pleased him, to break it, who is the headstone in the corner: the headstone, Mat: 21 42. because the strongest in the whole building, sustaining the fabric: The headstone in the corner knitting, cimenting, and uniting together both the jews, and the Gentiles: 1. Pet: 2 8. The headstone in the corner who is a stone of stumbling unto many, and a rock of offence; at which the jews took such offence, that they hurt themselves against this stone in the corner. Yet he that was rejected by the jews, and scornfully under-vallewed, was unto me a most skilful, & excellent lapidary: he knew the stone of my heart; and at mine entreaty he broke it, he broke it in pieces. Yea he wrought so powerfully in me, that through the help of him I had learned to rend it; to rend my heart, joel: 2.13. and not my garments, and turn to the Lord my God. It was made an acceptable sacrifice to my God; for I had a broken spirit; a broken, Ps: 51.17. & a contrite heart, which he will no despise. He, he is that great jehovah, who is high, Ies: 57.15. and excellent, who inhabiteth eternity, whose name is holy; who dwelleth in the high, and holy place; & yet with him all so that is of a contrite, & humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones. He it is, who hath promised that he will not break a bruised reed, Is: 42.3. nor quench the smoking flax: but on the contrary, Ps: 147 3. will heal the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. By him who is thus high and excellent; by him who is thus full of compassion, as not to bruise the reed, nor quench the flax; by him who is thus infinite in mercy, that he healeth those that are broken in heart; even by the same God, in testimony of his love, was my stony heart broken. O it had been an uncircumcised heart; Deut. 30.6. but afterwards the Lord my God did circumcise it, to love himself with all my heart, and with all my soul, that I might live. So open, so broken, so rend, so contrite, so circumcised it was, Act: 7.51. that I resisted not the Holy Ghost. Lord, what happy days did I then enjoy, when my heart was thus qualified with goodness! When it was thus acceptable to my God But now, alas, it is quite otherwise. That heart, that good heart of mine is gone, is lost, is polluted. Peradventure some anger had been seated in my gall; but I laboured that it should not increase into a sin. Peradventure some joy was placed in my spleen; but that joy howsoëver was chief in the Lord; and in my heart was carefully preserved the fear of his name. That heart was then the cabinet, the store house, the treasury of wisdom, wherein were two withdrawing chambers, divided but by a partition, in which were placed the fountains of lively blood; of life itself; even the life of grace, given by the liberal hand of the God of my life. But now (oh my poor heart) it hath forsaken this breast; this breast of a distressed forlorn woman; and in the room thereof is crept into my bosom a heart so hard, that when I sinite my breast in my deepest sorrow, my very hand re-bound's by reason of the hardness of this rocky heart. Often have I heard people complain of the stone in the kidneys, or the bladder: but I am enforced to a new complaint; even of the stone in the heart. O that my God would cut it, and take this stone out of it: or else give me such a potion of sorrow and contrition, that it might prove the most sovereign saxafrage, to break this stone! A stone here is which I can feel both by the weight, and the hardness there of; but what kind of stone I cannot determine. Surely it can be no pomoise none of that stone which in some sort may be said to be even heavier than itself; because though when it is whole, it is full of pores, full of holes, very hollow, even as hollow as my heart; yet when it is broken in pieces, when it is stamped, and beaten to powder, it seems to be more ponderous, then when it was whole. If such a one be in my heart, o that my God would break this heart: o that he would grind it, or beat it to powder; then peradventure it would be heavy for my sins, and ponder mine iniquities. Or it may be that such a stone is in it, as those were which the Lord did promise that the Israelites should find in the land of Canaan; Deut. 8 9 even stones that were iron: for surely my heart is as hard as iron. And yet, though it be so, the patiented job assureth me that even waters wear the stones. job 14.19. O that my God would cause the trickling of my tears to wear away the stone of my heart! Or if it be iron, o that he would cause it to swim in the jordane of my sorrows as once Elisha caused the iron and steel to do, 2. King 6.6. which were tempered together in the head of the are! When I feel for my good heart, oh, I cannot find it: but in the room thereof is laid such a perverse one, that the edge of compunction cannot peers it; piety cannot mollify it, entreaties cannot move it; threatming cannot stir it; and stripes cannot wound it. It is ungrateful, though never so much benefitted: it is unsaithfull, though never so much entrusted; it is refractory, though never so much counselled. It is severe, when it judgeth; shameless, when it thinketh; and dreadless, when danger nearest approacheth it. It is churlish to the courteous, and loving only to those that are wicked. It forgetteth what is past; neglecteth what is present; and provideth not for the time to come: and (to speak the truth) it neither feareth God, Lu: 18.2. nor reverenceth man. Oh now had I but my good heart once again, how would I cherish it; how would I preserve it! But, alas, I fear that I wish too late; for it is fled, and I doubt that it will never be called back, never be sent me home again. For this loss, o for this unspeakable, this dreadful loss. I will weep, and weep, and nothing but weep, until my tears be multiplied into a river: Who knows but that my little Moses may be put into an ark, though but of bulrushes; Ex: 2.3 and be laid in the flags by the brink of my river; & be found again; and once more be delivered into my carefuller custody? If so it should happen, how would I cherish it, o how tenderly would I nurse it up in my bosom! Lu: 2.48. I must weep for it, before I shall find it; and like unto joseph and Marie seeking my redeemer, I must seek it sorrowing. I will seek it in the night, in the night of my sorrow; and each tear upon mine eyelids shall twinkle like a star, and light me to discover it. It is no shame to grieve for such a loss. A very Stoic would forget his stupidity, and bemoan the loss of such a heart. This heart, which I have is none of mine. 1. King 3.20. The devil hath used me as one harlot had done the other; he hath risen at midnight, and stolen away my live child, and laid his own dead child in my bosom. But what now shall I do? Where is Solomon to administer justice? I know that Satan would be contented to have the child divided, that he might have half; & then he knoweth my Creator will disdain the other. But my God is the right owner of the living child, o that he would but intrust me to nurse it, that this dead child might be cast out of doors. I would be contented the living should be divided even with a sword; Eph: 6.17. but that sword shall be the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God: & by this division the tempter shall be divided from me. Act: 20 19 Saint Paul served God with all humility of mind, & with many tears. If I could but entreat this heart which I have, to be a little humbled, it might peradventure dissolve into tears for the loss of my best. Why should not I endeavour in my mourning to follow the steps of that blessed Apostle? Doubtless that sorrowful convert did oftener write with his tears then his ink; and taught his paper to swell with those pearly drops which fell from his eyes. When that Doctor of the Gentiles was bound upon a voyage, & intended to steer his course t●●erusalem, Act: 20 37. vers. 38 all the elders did sorely weep, & fell on his neck, and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for those words which he spoke, that they, should see his face no more. But when my Paul; my heart departed, I had no such warning given me: otherwise certainly we should have had a very solemn farewell: we should have had one shower of tears; or, at least, have kissed at parting. But since with dry eyes we forsook each other, it shall not now be too late for me to weep. Mat: 26 49. O that I could be admitted but to give it one kiss! It should not be like to that of judas to Christ: I would not seek the betraying, but the preserving of it. But I w●sh in vain for it here's me not. I sigh in vain, for it approacheth not. Howsoever weep I must; & sorrow. I must; & most of all for fear I see it no more. part 3 The third part Of the soliloquy. Grief for an old and sinful heart; and an earnest desire of a righteous new one. When Delilah was inquisitive to know where the strength of Samson lay, and he had thrice deceived her; Iud: 16.16. she so pressed him with her words, and urged him that at length (as the text saith) he told her all his heart. vers. 17 Surely he was either violently enamoured with her beauty, or wonderfuly transported with the love of his ease, that would tell all his heart to his enemy. What if my best friend that I have in the would; what if God should require the like at my hands? Should I do it? Nay, could I do it: Certainly I am afraid that, either I have no heart; or (if I have one) that I do not rightly know it; or (if I do rightly know it) I suspect that I should be ashamed to confess all the evil that is in it. When Solomon begged a gift of his son, that gift was no more than what was truly a debt; and yet it was no sleight one; Prov. 23.26. it was a heart; My Son give me thine heart. I would to God that my father, my creator, my God would say unto me, as Solomon did to his son; that he would call me his child. But what if he should? What if he should all so call for my heart? As indeed he doth. What should I answer him? In the old law, if an Israëlite had but touched an unclean thing, Luc: 5.2. though it were hidden from him, yet he was all so decreed unclean. Certainly he who would not suffer his people to touch what was unclean, cannot himself accept of that which is unclean. King Solomon speaks in general, and send's the challenge to the whole world, in these words, Prov: 20.9. who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from sin? When I compare these places together, what can I think of myself? What can I imagine that God will say unto me, when I bring him this heart? Assuredly I must needs expect that he will cry out, as the people did by the garments, yea by the owners of the garments, the Priests of Zion, Depart it is unclean; depart, depart. True it is that this heart which I have, Lam: 4.15. is full of wickedness; full of iniquity: yea so full, that it sends back my prayers fruitless into my bosom; for the Lord hath assured me by the mouth of his prophet, Ps: 66.18. that If I regard iniquity in my heart, he will not hear me. What now shall become of me? If he be not my God, where is my protection? Where are my hopes? If he be my God, and I deny him what he requireth, where then is my duty? Or how performed? If he be my God, and I render him what he requireth, and yet he accepteth not what I render, what then shall become of me? This heart is too had for him to accept of, who is goodness itself: It is too unclean for him, who is purity itself: It is too base for him, who is excellency itself. Lord, how I do waver in my thoughts; and what staggering doubts do arise in my graoelesse heart! What course can I take; what means must I use to get a hest for him, which may be any way acceptable? Mine own is too bad; and if I think to mend it of myself, I shall but botch it; I shall but make it worse. There is no other way, but a new one I must have; and where, or how to get it, I know not. Nay, I have no heart at all to seek it. If the old one would be good for any thing, I would willingly give that in part of payment; in exchange for a new one. But alas, that will never be worth any thing, while it is a heart. Surely if I would have a new one, & a good one that is worth having, I must go unto God for it; for he alone is the creator there of. To him therefore will I repair? and humbly I will beseech him to create in me, a new heart, Ps: 51.10. a clean heart; and renew a right spirit within me. If he requireth a pledge for it, seeing that I have formerly falsified my promise what shall I do? I have nothing worth it, to leave in the place of it: but I will howsoëver faithfully promise him that he shall have it again: and with that very heart I will promise, which he shall spare me. I will desire only to borrow it; and but for a little time; even for no longer time than he of his own accord, shall be willingly pleased to spare it. Nay I will not so much as desire to call it mine: it shall be his still: I will beg that it may go under his name: and if yet he will not believe me, I will put him in security; the best security that ever was, or is, or shall be; even his only beloved Son. Why then should I not s● to him to grant my desires, since neither my request is unreasonable, nor my security questionable? It is no new thing, to sue to him for a new heart. He hath been pleased to vouchsafe it to others. Thus he promised to Israel, by the mouth of his prophet, Ez. 11.19. C. 36. saying I will put a new spirit within you. And in another place; A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, & I will give you an heart of flesh. Such o such a heart, do I beg of thee, o my God. Such a new heart, such a fire new one I beseech thee to grant unto me, as may burn with zeal, for the honour of thy name. But what if I should not prevail with my God for a new heart? It is all one with him to create a new, or to revive an old one; and to me it will also prove of equal value. I will howsoever submit to his pleasure. If he give me my dead one again, restored to life, 1. King 17.20. as he restored the son of the widow at the prayer of Elijah, I shall be as well contented, as if he created a new one for me: for all will be one. This also he can do, if he please: Is 57.17. for it is his custom to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones: But if it be re-vived, it must be washed, before it will be fit to be presented unto him. And it must be washed by me, the pains must be taken by myself: jer. 4.14. for what he said to jerusalem he speaketh unto me; O jerusalem wash thine heart from wickedness, that thou mayst be saved: how long shall thy vain thoughts lodge within thee? But when it is walhed, 2. pet. 2 22. it must not return again, with the sow that is washed, to wallow in the mire. No, Noah; it must go forward in goodness, that so I may be able to speak as doth the psalmist, and say, My heart is not turned back, Ps. 44.8 neither have my steps declined from thy way; And when I shall have such a heart, such a new heart, such a revived heart, such a washed heart a heart so forward to goodness, than (I resolve) it shall be ordered constantly to look up-wards to the donour, to the re-viver there of. If mine eyes look upwards, surely mine heart shall not stoop downwards. The very herbs, and flowers teach me this lesson: for they are no sooner delivered from the womb of the earth, but up-wards they grow and aspire; upwards they open; as if nature had dispatched them into the world, upon this very condition that they should gratefully look upward towards the God of nature. This new heart I would have wholly devoted to the fear of the donour. Deu. 5, 29. Oh that there were such a heart in me that I would fear him, and keep all his commandments always, that it might be well with me for ever! I would have it both fear, and likewise love him too: 2. Thes 3.5. Prov. 16.1. I would have it directed to the love of him, and into a patiented waiting for his son. And (for as much as the preparations or disposing of the heart in man, is from the Lord) I will beg of him so much of his grace, as that therewith I may sanctify him in my heart, 1. Pet. 3.15, Ps. 86.11. even in that very heart. I would have it united unto him, that I might bear his name. Then shall this new heart, thus fearing and loving my Creator, be disposed by him: it shall sanctify him; and being united unto him, it shall ever be with him and always be protected, and preserved by him. I would have my new heart to be a chamber of presence, a privy chamber, a bed chamber for the King of glory; 1. Pet. 3 4. Gal. 4.6 Ps. 27.8 that so he may be hidden in mine heart. I would have the spirit of his son be sent into it, to teach me to cry unto him, Abba, father: for this new heart, this infant heart, must be able to speak and not only able but ready also to speak; willing to answer; that so when God shall say, Seek ye my face; Ps. 51.10. my heart, with David's, may be ready to answer, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. I would have it to be clean, clean washed from the filthiness of former offences; and purified, Act. 15 9 as were the hearts of the Gentiles. I would have it freed from the fowl opinions, thoughts, and desires, which hung like so many cobwebs in every corner thereof. I would have it clean from all evil counsels, that it may perform a new obedience to my God. I would have it true too, as well as clean; Hebr. 10.22. not only sprinkled from an evil conscience, and my body washed with pure water, but I would have it true also, that I may draw near with it unto the Lord, in full assurance of faith. Prov. 19.8. I would have it wise to withstand all evil motions, and affections because he that getteth wisdom in heart, loveth his own soul; and he that keepeth understanding shall live. 1. King 3.6. I would have it upright, for so David (who was a man after Gods own heart) walked before the Lord in truth, and in righteousness. and in uprightness of heart: and then I shall be sure to have it defended; Ps. 7.10 for my defence shall be of God, which saveth the upright in heart. I would have it enlightened; 2. Cor. 4.6. I would have God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, shine in my heart, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God, in the face of jesus Christ. 2. Pet. 1 19 I would have the day dawn, and the day star arise in my heart: for only such an enlightened heart can be able to perceive, Deu. 29 4. and cause mine eyes to see, and mine cares to hear: it is only such a heart, that can understand; it was only such a heart, as the wise, understanding King Solomon prayed for. 1. King 3.9. Ps. 86.11. Rom. 10.10. Dan. 7.9. O what a happiness should I enjoy, could I but prevail with God for such a heart! Such a heart as should be united to fear his name; that so, with it I might believe unto righteousness. Surely he who is the ancient of days; he who cried by the mouth of his holy Evangelist, saying. Rev. 21 5. Behold I make all things new; even he, and he alone can thus renew, can give me such a new, and good heart. It will not be new to him, though it be so to me; for his it is of old, though not mine, I look for a new heaven, and a new earth, where in dwelleth righteousness; 2 Pet. 3.13. and I look for it, according to his own promise: but what good will that do me, unless my earth my heart be first made new; unless I have also a new heaven first in that heart; unless I have a new heart? Mat. 27 60. Christ was laid in a new tomb hewn out of a rock, where in never was any man lay before. My old heart is a rock; as hard, as heavy, impenetrable as a rock: yet it exceedeth not the power of the Almighty, even out of that rock to hue a new tomb, a tomb wherein the old man never lay; and there (if he please) he can place my jesus. I am like a lump of dough, Mat. 16 12. 1. Cor. 7.5.8. vers. 6. vers. 7. soured with the leaven of the Pharisees; with the leaven of malice and wickedness; and alas I know that a little of that leaven leaveneth the whole lump: but he can purge out that old leaven, that I may be a new lump; but then I must moisten ●t with my tears, and kneade it with contrition. And why should I not? Why should I not cry for such a heart? Why should I not beg, and entreat, and weep, and mourn, for such a new heart? Children are apt to cry for every new thing which they see, or hear of. If God would be pleased to make me his ●hild, I should not need to cry for such a new heart; he would freely, and quickly give it me. But yet certainly I must cry for it, before he will give it. Tears are the counters by which my prayers, my desires must be numbered; even all my petitions which I tender unto him for a heart so new. In ancient times the Clepsydra's, or hourglasses were not filled with sand, but water; and time was measured by the drops which fell from them. Thus must I measure my time too; even by the drops which fall from the glass, from the crystal of mine eyes, for my want of this heart. Though formerly I have been so exceeding dry, as to measure with sand ' yet now I must dissolve into an account by my tears. Surely such a heart as I pant for, is a most precious jewel; and yet my God cannot choose but trust me with it, if I solicit him with my tears, in the name of his Son. He can even congeal my tears into oriental pearls, and so turn them into jewels; and having heightened the value of those precious pearls, for them he can lend me that heart which I sue for. I desire but the loan of it. I would not, for all the world, have it wholly mine, for than I am sure I should presently spoil it. I would but borrow it; Mal. 3.17. and in that day when he maketh up his jewels, I would restore it him again. I know that he would so delight in it, if I keep it tenderly, and charily, that he would wear it in his ear; he would hear the cry of it, as he heard the cry of the children of Israel, Ex. 2.23. vers. 24 by reason of their bondage. Well; if that be the way to get such a jewel; a jewel so inestimable, so precious: if I may get it by crying; surely I will Weep, I will cry. With joseph, Gen. 43 30. I will make haste; my bowels shall yearn within me; I will seek where to weep. I will enter into my chamber, and weep there. He hath given such a jewel to others; and why may not I as well hope to prevail, as others have done? He hath enough of them: he makes them: he makes them at any time; and that easily too; very easily; only with a word of his mouth. Therefore I will cry with a great, and exceeding bitter cry, Gen. 27 34. vers. 38 and say unto him Father, bless me, even me also, o my father. I will lift up my voice and weep, and will say unto him, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? Bless me even me also, o my father. jer. 3.21. Upon the high places was once heard both a weeping, and a supplication also of the children of Israel. I will weep too towards the high place, towards the seat of my God; & every tear shall have a tongue, & every tongue shall cry for this heart which I want. Or ●f all that will not do; jam. 3.5. then this little unruely member, which hath boasted so great things: this little fire, that would formerly kindle so great matters, shall now burn with Zeal of my desires; and with it I will pray, and say: The Prayer. RIghteous father, jer. 17.10. who searchest the hearts, and tryest the reins; and in that search dost find my corrupted heart to be full of pollution, and uncleanness; vouchsafe I beseech thee, to give me a sight of, and a sorrow for the offences thereof. Break thou my hard, and stony heart, with the knowledge of my sin; and my due consideration of thy heavy wrath. Psal. 5.4. Eze. 11 19 Psal. 51.10. Deut. 4 9.10.17.17. Ps. 107.35. Thou art a God that delightest not in wickedness: remove therefore from me this heart of obstinacy; and give me a heart of flesh. Create in me a clean heart, o God; and renew a right spirit within me. Let not thy commandments depart from it, all the days of my life. Speak but the word, o God, and it shall be done. Sanctify it in thy truth; thy word is truth. O thou that didst turn the wilderness into a standing water; and dry ground into water springs; be pleased to show thy mercy now in the depth of my distress. Lord, hear my desires: behold my necessities. Without a heart I cannot serve thee: without a new heart I cannot praise thee, Lord, give me a heart to fear thee; Is. 66.2 Ps. 38.18. to tremble at thy word; to listen to thy promises; to confess my sins; and to be sorry for mine offences. Give me, o my God, Ps. 119.80. fuch a heart as thou requirest; that so it may be always sound in thy statutes. Give me a heart that may mourn in secret for all my sins, both secret, and open: that may be zealous for thine honour; that may be tender of thy displeasure; and that may shun both the inclination to and the desire of offending thee, my great Creator. Hear me o God, Io. 19.34. Mat. 26 38. for thy mercies are great. Hear me, o Christ, whose side was pierced; whose soul was sorrowful; and all to purchase new hearts for all that are penitent sinners. Hear me o blessed spirit, and assist me in my petitions, with sighs, Rom. 8 26. Can. 8.6. and groans that cannot be expressed. Give me a heart for thy service; and then set me, o Lord, as a seal upon thine ●rme. O Lord give! O Lord forgive! Forgive my sins; and give me the blessing of a righteous heart; that so I may fear thee as long as I shall remain in this valley of tears; and then receive me, o my father into thy celestial Kingdom, that I may live with thee in glory for ever, and ever, through jesus Christ my only mediator, and redeemer, Amen. THE THIRD SUBJECT. Tears of Time. The soliloquy consisting of three parts: viz: 1 A review of the time past. 2 A consideration of the time present. 3 A resolution for the time to come. The First part. A review of the time past, THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe four beasts, in the Apocalypse, that were full of eyes before, behind, and within, sitting upon the throne which was set in heaven, rested not day and night saying, Rev. 4.8. Holy, holy, holy Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come. What a high description is here of the sacred Trinity! The Father holy; the Son holy; and the Spirit holy: and yet not three holies, but one holy. The Father Lord; the Son Lord; and the Holy Ghost Lord. The Father God; the Son God; and the Holy Ghost God. The Father All mighty; the Son All mighty; and the Holy Ghost All mighty. The Father Eternal; the Son Eternal; and the Holy Ghost Etemall: and yet not three Lords, nor three Gods, nor three almighty's, not three eternals; but one Lord, one God, one All mighty, and one Eternal. Eternal? What's that? The text saith which was; not as if he had been, (but is not) therefore it is added which is: yet not so is, as if he should be no more; therefore it is farther added and is to come. Surely he that was, without beginning; which is, immutable, and which shall be the judge both of the quick and the dead; even the same God was, is, and shall be Holy in his essency, Lord in his dominion, God in his excellency, Almighty in his power, and Eternal in all. When I read these deep mysteries of my God, o how I am divided, me thinks, in myself! How do I in my thoughts, and meditations! The singing of those heavenly beasts, makes me rejoice; but their song itself drives me into a sadness: for they tell me that holiness, and righteousness, and glory, and power, and eternity is the very nature of God; in none whereof I can find myself to be like unto him. Lord, I wish that I were with the beasts, upon the throne, that I might be a little more cheerful than I am here at the foot stool. But alas my wishes cannot be purchases: for none can come to God, but those alone, who are like unto God. 1 Cor. 29. Before I can come to sit upon that throne, I must certainly be holy; for he is holy: I must be righteous; for he is righteous: and then, though I shall not have such power, nor glory as he hath; yet I shall have my share; I shall have my proportion, I shall have such power to magnify my God, as that nothing shall be able either to oppose, or divert me: I shall have such glory, as neither eye hath seen, 1, Pet. 1 15. nor ear hath heard, nor yet can enter into the heart of man to conceive: yea and I shall have eternity too; for though I cannot be said to be perfectly eternal, because I had a beginning; yet I shall be certainly eternal, in that I shall have no end. But how shall I gain this holiness that I may come to that eternity; Surely I must look upon the three distinctions, or parts of time; and if I consider them as limited, I must find myself in them; if as unlimited, I must find my God in them. For God is not so said which was, which is, and which is to come, as if this description did any way come near a full expression of his eternity: but rather submitt's, as it were, only to our capacity; that so by this, I may partly conjecture at what I cannot yet possibly comprehend. No time can properly be ascribed unto God; for each part thereof hath a bound, and limitation, which God can not have. The time past is gone already from us: the time present is going: and the time to come is not yet ours. But when we say God was, we intimate his perfection in being, without a beginning of being: When we say God is, we express his vigour and readiness, and power to effect his purposes: and when we say God shall be, we undoubtedly acknowledge, and confess his perpetuity. The time was, when I was not; and I, again, shall be, when time shall not. I shall be, indeed: but where shall I be? Eternity hath but two mansions; heaven, & hell. If I do not take heed, I may be tormented for ever (Lord how I tremble at the thought of it!) in the land of darkness: and yet't is possible for me to avoid that fire and brimstone, and live eternally in the heavens. Surely, if the choice be in my power, I am a thousand times worse than the maddest woman that ever was bereft of her senses, if I choose not heaven much rather than hell; for in heaven is an eternal life, but in hell; an eternal death. In the one shall be no end of living: in the other shall be no end of dying. 'tis concluded then: if my choice be free, I lay hands upon heaven; that shall be mine. And who can blame me? The choice, I am sure, is good: but yet there remaines more than the bare saying, I choose heaven for my lot. Yes surely: there's more than this, or else it had been impossible that ever any should have been damned, if the fruition of happiness should immediately have ensued upon the election by word, or speech alone. What then is next required to my choice? My Saviour tell's me: Mat: 7.21. Not every one that saith unto me Lord Lord, shall enter into the Kingdom of heaven: but he that doth the will of my father which is in heaven. Do his will? What's that? What is his will? Surely the Prophet tell's me, when he says, and advise's, Is: 55.6. Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near. Seek him? Why? he's in heaven. While he may be found? Why? When cannot he be found who is every where, and for ever and ever? True it is that he is always to be found; but, only of them that seek him: and those that seek, must seek as they ought, or else they shall not find him whom they would. He is always to be found; but is he always to be found of me? This question is to the purpose indeed: for what is it to me, if all the world besides should find him? What content could I receive in that joy which others would have in the fruition of him, if I find him not? Certainly no pleasure could redound to me, if I should have, though the whole, land of darkuesse to myself; and no body else allotted to share with me. Alas, alas, God is not all ways to be found, because he is not always sought. The defect is in ourselves, and not in him: for those that will find him, must seek him: he's very well worth the looking for. Where now have I been all this while; or where hath He been ever since I was borne; that I have triseled out so much time, and yet have not found him? Oh, though I sought him not, yet he found me: though I knew him not, yet he knew me: though I minded him not, ye: he watched over me. He sought me; he called me; he wooed me to come to him: and when I still denied, he offered me precious things; precious indeed, if I would but come to him: and yet I would not; but back again, like a child, I still ran to my nurse; I hide myself from him; and with my nurse I sported, and played. But why would not Nature my fond nurse, suffer me to go to him? Oh, because she knew that if once I should go home to my heavenly father, he would wean me presently; and never suffer my nurse to fool me any more. Moreover, she thought that he would use me hardly, and chide me, and scourge me; and that she could not endure; it went against her disposition. Lord, now thou hast opened mine eyes, that I might seek thee; now I do seek thee; do thou reveal thyself unto me: be ever with me: be thou ever mine. Make me to see what I was, with shame and horror; and now to be what I should be; even a sighing, sobbing, sorrowful convert. Make me see, what I was, say I? Indeed what was I not, that was not good, that was wicked, and corrupt? I cannot remember that in all my life, I ever did any one thing, which might truly, and justly be called good. Ay me! All my time past, was given for nothing: I have quite lost it. How said I? For nothing? It were well indeed for me, if it were so well: I pray God it may be so. But there is an old score, & a great one too, for which I must call myself to an account; or else I am sure that the All mighty will. Better it will be for me, that I do it, than he; and yet I cannot do it, without him. Lord grant, that I may now spend my time well, even in the recounting how ill I formerly consumed it; and in repenting of that ill. At my birth I surely began well; for I was ignorant of evil; I was innocent: and yet (now I better bethink myself of it) I did not I was not so ignorant, or not so innocent; for I was both conceived in sin, and borne in sin too; Ps: 51.5 I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. Yet I was a kind of prophetess at my birth; for I came werping into the world: so do all: & questionless the first cry was caused by sin; foreseeing, as it were, the sin I should commit; and grieving in a sort, for the sin which I inherited. But did I begin so well, and proceed so ill? Was I a young saint; and am I an old sinner? Was I borne a prophetess, and have I lived a transgressor? Yes, I have: oh I have. I grew in wickedness, as I grew in years. When I was a child, I lived in ignorance: 1. Cor: 13.11. I spoke as a child; I understood as a child; I thought as a child: yet when I grew past that childhood, I did not put away childish things. Act: 17 30. I lived indeed in ignorance; and yet the time of that ignorance God winked at; but now he commands me to repent. Foolish I was, Ps: 73.22. & ignorant, even as a beast before him: for I looked only after things temporal; and never thought upon those that are eternal. and yet (if I consider well of it) there neither is, nor can be any due comparison between them: for there hould's no proportion; there is no analogy, or resemblance held between things finite, and things infinite. I may observe some difference between them, if I do but consider how Eagerly I long for things temporal, and how I love them before I obtain them; but, when for a moment I have enjoyed them, their value is forgotten, for I am surfeited, I am cloyed with them; and all this, because they have nor power, nor goodness enough, to bound, and limit my desires: But things eternal, though here they are more coldly desired; yet they shall be beloved, and enjoyed, with true content, and continual rejoicing hereafter. Peradventure those things which I seek for here, I obtain not, or if I gain them, and should possess them all my life time; yet they would not continue, they would remain but a short space with me; because I shall not continue; my life is short. If I could possibly be as old, if I could live as long as from time to time; from the beginning of time, to the end of time, from the creation of the world, to the dissolution of the world; yet all this time would not be long, yea it would be nothing in comparison of eternity. It would not be the hundred thousand thousand thousand thousandth part so much as one grain of sand, is to the whole earth; to the whole world, and all therein contained, although the world should be a million of millions of thousands of millions of times greater than it is, or could be accounted by Arithmetic. Well then; I can have but my life in earthly things; and perhaps not that neither in those things which I desire: they will not be mine for ever: no for they shall not endure for ever: but that which is eternal shall be for ever, and ever, world without end: I mean not, this world without end, for this shall have an end: but I mean that other world, that better world; the world to come, eternal in the heavens. Sinful I was, even before I was, before I was in the world; for I had the stain of original corruption, even in my mother's belly; and then I was not; or not in this world; for so our common speech goes; yea & so our Saviour himself doth say also A woman, Io: 16.21. when she is in her travail, hath sorrow because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembreth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is borne into the world. Our years are constantly reckoned, not from our conceptions, for than we were imperfect: no nor from the time of life, from the time we were first quick, when our souls were at once both created and infused into us; and yet then we were guilty of original pollution: but as if we were not worthy to be said to be, until we may begin to be more sinful; our age is only reckoned from our first society with sinners. The simple world account's that we have been but just so long, as we have been companions together in the view of men: & so if men were to number my transgressions, and had both power and skill to sum them up, they would begin but at my birth only; at that time when they began to corrupt me: but God will, begin at my beginning; at the first time that I received a soul; and from that very instant shall my soul be accountable for all my sins. But if he be so strict, as to begin with my original uncleanness when I knew it not; oh what will he say to mine actual abominations, which I both did, and do know? So many actual sins I have committed, that I cannot number them: so great, and grievous actual sins, that I cannot estimate them. All my former time hath indeed been wholly mine; none of it was God's. But what good have I done to, or for myself, in all this time? Just none at all: nay on the contrary, infinite hurt; infinite injury: for I have not only dishonoured my God; and offended my neighbour; but also I have every moment made myself more liable to eternal damnation. But shall I have my time; and shall not God have his too? Yes, yes; he hath all this while had his time, Rom: 2 4. his time of patience, and forbearance, and long-suffering, daily expecting my repentance, and conversion. But this was rather my time, then his; for it was for my good, in that he spared me. And shall not he yet have his time? Some other time? Yes; he will have it. He will have a time of visiting the proud; for so he threatened Babylon by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Ier: 50.31. Behold I am against thee, o thou most proud, saith the Lord God of hosts; for thy day is come; the time that I will visit thee. I have been proud, with Babylon; justly therefore may I expect, that God should visit me, as he visited Babylon. He will have a time of vengeance: C: 51.6 for so saith the Prophet too: Flee out of the midst of Babylon, and deliver every man his soule●: be not cut off in her iniquity; for this is the time of the Lord's vengeance; he will render unto her a recompense. I have lived all this while in Babylon; and I have sinned with Babylon; and justly therefore might I be destroyed with Babylon: But the goodness of my God hath hitherto spared me: his kindness is greater than I can merit, or requite, or value: for though he had his time of vengeance against Babylon; yet his time of mercy continueth to me, in calling me to flee from out of the midst of her. He did call before; but I heard not before: for though the silly birds, and the fowls do know their times, and seasons; yet I knew not my time, when God called for my conversion, C: 8.7. The Stork in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the Turtle and the Crane, and the Swallow observe the time of their coming: but I, poor I, simple I did not know the judgements of the Lord. He will also have a time of calling every one to an account for their sins; and that time he may take when soëver he pleaseth: yea and so he doth too; for, every day some or other do appear at his tribunal. This time he might have taken against me also, all this while; while I have lived in my sins; for I did not watch, Mar: 13 33. and pray; though I knew not when the time would be. After judgement he will have a time of execution too; but he deferr's, he delaye's both judgement, & execution. This was well known even unto those two possessed with Devils, Mat. 8: 28. in the country of the Gergesenes, which met my Redeemer as they were coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way: for they cried out saying. vers: 29 What have we to do with thee jesus, thou son of God? Art thou come hither to torment us, before the time? O let the time of vengeance put me in mind of my sins, and what I have deserved justly by them! Mat: 13 25. Yet, lest Satan should sow tares among my wheat: lest he should tempt me to despair, when I prepare to repent; let me as well consider that God hath a time of love too, as hatred; of mercy, as of fury. Thus the Apostle telleth me: Gal: 4.4 When the fullness of time was come, God sent forth his son, made of a woman, vers: 5. made under the law: To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. O what a blessed time of love was this, when his own son, his only son, his son of his bosom was sent to redeem such wicked, and ungodly wretches, as I poor creature am! jerusalem found a time of love too, of infinite love, when the Lord passed by her, and looked upon her; Eze: 16 8. and behold, her time was the time of love; and he spread his skirt over her, and covered her nakedness. Yea, and I have had a time of his love too, when all this while that I have continued in obstinacy and rebellion, he hath yet deferred the execution of his justice. But now, most of all now, o my God, I find, and feel thy love which I was not sensible of before. It is thy love, that I affect thy love; that I seek thy love, because I begin to know my sins which hindered me from the knowledge of thy love: and among the rest of my sins, because I now begin to be sensible of my precious, but ill-spent, and lost time. And since thou hast now begun thy love, the manifestation of thy love to me, I am so much the more revived, by how much I know that thou canst not choose but continue thy love, even for my good; that I may have time and knowledge, and desire, and power to love thee again: But especially for thine own sake; for thou that art eternal, even thou, and thou alone art likewise love; for so the Apostle tell's me; God is love: 1. Io: 4, 16. Thy love therefore being thyself, and thy self being eternal, for thine own sake, o love eternal, continue unto me thy love. And that I may be the more sensible of it, 1. Pet: 4 3. Lord let it suffice that the time passed of my life I have wrought the will of the Gentiles, vers: 7. when I walked in all manner of wickedness, & ungodliness. And now (seeing the end of allthingsis at hand) make me to be sober, & to watch unto prayer. Make me to walk circumspectly; Eph: 5.15. vers: 16 nos as a fool, but as the wise; Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. But how shall I redeem the time, since I have already quite lost it? There is no other way, but by undoeing, un-sinning the evil which I have hitherto committed: and this must be with my present sorrows, for my past, my deluding joys. Lord, will one tear serve thy turn, for one sin? I know it is too little; I confess it; and yet that one for one is more than I can give; for my tears can be but finite, but few; whereas my sins are many, are infinite. But may one tear serve thee for all my sins? Alas, that's too little in all conscience; and yet even that is more than by nature I am willing to give. I must, I must weep, if ever I hope to receive any comfort: yea, and when I have wept as much as I well can weep, even than I must endeavour to weep, because I can weep no more. David was a man; and yet he could weep: yea he had so many tears, that he was charitably pleased to dispose of some for others; yea very many; for his own words are, Ps: 119.136. Rivers of waters run down mine eyes, because men keep not thy law. I am a woman, and shall I have no tears, I can cry sometimes for anger; and that is only to satisfy a sinful passion. I can cry some times for a loss; when as that which I lose is not worth a tear. O if ever I will be angry while I live, let me be angry now! Let me be angry at myself for misse-spending my time! Let me be hearty angry, even till I cry again! O, if ever loss was great, I am sure that mine is; for I have lost my time; my precious time; my whole time; even my whole life ever since I was borne, unto this very minuit. Otherwise I might have had in all this space whole millions of good thoughts, and speeches, and actions, and sobs, and tears registered in heaven against my appearing at the tribunal. But instead of those, I have filled the book of remembrance of my God, with nothing but vanities and follies; with sins, and wickedness; with omissions, and commissions, so many, and so grievous, that unless they be blotted out there is no remedy but I myself must be blotted out of the book of life. But there is yet hope, so long as there is life. There is hope that they may be expunged; but then I must begin the work, in my repentance, and so blot them with my tears. O that I were now a very pillar of salt; Gen: 19 26. even such a one as Lot's wife was turned into; though not with her backsliding; not with her looking back, and longing to return to Sodom again. No, Noah; that were to repent of my repentance; and to undo, what I have begun. But I would be salt, because a tear is so; and I would be all salt, a whole pillar of fault, that so in my repentance, I might be all sorrow, all tears, and melt quite away in my laments for my wickedness: for thus might I begin to blot out the sins which I have committed. But if I may not have that wish, Lord let me howsoëver weep as much as I may; as much as nature and grace can possibly wring from the eyes of a woman: and when I have thus endeavoured to begin to blot out the offences of the time which is past; then help me, o my God; assist me, o Christ, o jesus; and with thy most precious blood which was ●hed upon the cross, blot them all out of thy remembrance, for ever, and ever. part 2 The second part, Of the soliloquy. A consideration of the time present. IT is the practice of the wise, to redeem the time past; to govern well the time present; and carefully to provide for the time to come. That which is past, may be redeemed ●y sorrow at the time which is present; and the well employing of the present, may prepare us for the future. I have wickedly lost ●hat time which is past; I would therefore dispose well of that which is present. And yet, Lord how swiftly does this present time hasten away! If I mark but the pulse of my watch, I hear it cry tick tick, tick tick, as ●ast as I can well count; and yet that comes not near a full informing me of the flight of the time. Alack; the last minuit is already gone: that which is present, is but an instant, and not discernible; it continueth at most, but the twinkling of an eye; and yet the present moment is often lost in the expectation of the future. The minute's fty; and stay not the accountant's leisure. The days hasten; and in their swift expedition, chide my negligence, and slowness in religion. But, if I well consider it, my time is not so short; but I am an ill housewife of it: there's the fault. I receive not a short life; but I make it short: for I am not driven to a poverty of time; but contrarily, I am guilty of the prodigality. I am careful, and provident, for my outward estate; and with all my discretion, and industry I endeavour, at least to keep it, if not to increase it: but as touching my time, away I let it pass; I give it away; I lavish it away; whereas no covetousness is either commendable, or so much as lawful, but only the coveting of our most precious time. I commonly accuse nature (or rather, the God of nature) for allowing me such a short time upon earth: and yet certainly I speak not as I mean; I do not account it short; for I throw it away; I cast it away: yea I contemn it, as if it were base, and not worth the owning. Yea more; I even wish it away. for sometimes I wish for the expiring of a lease; sometimes for the death of a friend, after whose decease, I shall possess such, or such a revenue; whereas the shortest of these times may be many years; and yet I consider not that every moment shorten's my life. Thus the time itself is become a burden to me; for I wish to hasten it; and yet I consider not that the fruition of my desires would make me in debt to years; a thing which I dread much more, than I pretend to fear the loss of my time. It is the custom of our sex to desire to live; yet not to live without our youthful desires. Old age, we conceive, may be accounted venerable; but youthful years we only delight in: thus we contemn that which is honourable; and pride ourselves in that which is sinful: We hasten, in our wishes, the fleeting time; but we desire to retard the chillowed, and furrowed effects thereof. We wish too early, for the time not expired, and then we wish too late, for what cannot be recalled. My time, 〈◊〉 longest, is but short, very short, if compared with gray-headed eternity: so was the Prophet's also; even the Prophet David's; Ps: 89.47. which made him cry out, Remember how short my time 〈◊〉: wherefore hast thou made all men in vain? ●aint Paul acknowledgeth likewise the shortness of our age, speaking thus: 1. Cor: 7.29. This I say brethren; the time is short: it remaineth that both they that have wives, be as though they had none &c: And yet, as short as it is, I endeavour to make 〈◊〉 shorter: for (to speak truly) the time byeth not away from me; but I drive it away. Religious exercises make me deem it long, and tedious: but sports, and delights seem to ●end it a wing, or to imp a feather. I value it therefore, according to my employment; & esteem it only according to my affairs. If I therefore seriously consider of it, I shall ●ind it flying from those that are sportful; but walking leisurely from those who either are ●mployed in matters of religion; or groan under the burden of any heavy affliction: Thus fare opinion either lends it wings; or pulls the quills. But if with a more judicious eye I pry into my life; the time of my life; I shall find, that a great part thereof is lost, in doing evil: the most of it in doing nothing: but (I fear that I may truly say) all of it, in doing what I ought not. And yet, for all this, I cry out upon my time; upon my lost time: but always I conceal to myself the follies where in I lost this time. All this I confess: why then do I not well employ, the little of this little time; that so, when I die, I may outlive even time itself? I am not of their opinions, who attribute wisdom unto time; because it discover's, teaches, & alter's all things. This is not an act of time; but in time our judgements come to maturity; and in time the decays of nature are discovered. As little also do I concur with them, who account it foolish, because (say they) it is the master of oblivion: for in time all things are forgotten. I attribute not either wisdom or folly to the mensuration of our lives; but those I deem either wise, or foolish, who well or ill dispose of their time. I will endeavour for so much wisdom, as to employ my days in religious wisdom; and I will not, I need not go farther to seek for the foolish and unwise, then to myself, when I vainly misspend the jewel of a minuit. Every day I will account as lost wherein I have not been careful to perform my duty: and every such day I will endeavour to redeem, by a sorrowful night. If a hair doth happen to fall from my head, it is beyond my art to fasten it where it grew: and yet I do not use to think, that the minuit which is past is more certainly irrevocable. I can speak my words again, and again; but I cannot live over my hours again, and again. And yet, for ●l this, I take delight in those shadows of ●nity; but consider not, that such delight is arrow. I labour, with industry, and weariness, ●r things that are transitory; and yet I lose them, before I am ware. They are not gotten without drops of sweat; and they depart not from me without drops of tears. All that time is but loss, and spent in grief, which is not laid out for the purchase of eternity. All my time is un-profitably spent, if it be not s●ent in the service of my God. With him all times are alike, because he is eternal, without either beginning, or ending. Neither past, ●or present, nor future can make any alteration with him; because he seethe at once, & ever did, and ever will see all things whatsoëver, which have been, are, and shall be. But it is not so with me; for to me my time is measured out, and delivered by instants. That which was before me, was not mine; and yet I reap some benefit from it; because the labours, and observations of former ages, & occurrences, are left to our times, to instruct as in wisdom. That time which shallbe, when I shall be laid low in the dust, shall ●ot be mine: for, by reason of my sin, my life shall not continue. My time then is only for a bare term of life; and how long, or ●ow short this life shall continue, I know not; for every moment draweth me nearer and nearer to the period thereof. I reckon my present age by the years that are past; as if those years were still mine own, which are escaped from me. I reckon some times before the time; & determine that mine age shall be so much increased, when such or such a month shall govern in the Calendar: as if I were sure of that time which I yet have not: whereas if I should live as long as I desire, or reckon, and make account to live; I should hearty wish that mine account were ended; that my reckoning were discharged. Short indeed my time is, not only in itself; or considered with eternity; but also compared with his who is the tempter: for he was a Devil before ever was created or made either man, or woman; and he shall be a Devil when none shall be loft to be alured by him. He hath had his time to tempt, and seduce, ever since he conquered the first innocent: & he shall continue his suggestions so long as men shall continue in the world; and yet, for all this, his time is said to be but short: for so saith St john: Rev. 12 12. Woe to the inhabitants of the earth, and of the sea; for the Devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth he hath but a short time. If his time be short, which is much longer than mine; what then is mine, which is but a moment, in comparison of his? And yet this moment may be a portal to erernitie if I so behave myself, as always providing to live eternally. But how shall I settle myself, to be thus provided? I would spend my time well; but that I account it a sin to spend my time: for if my life be ●ood, my time is not spent, but gotten. I would lead my life in the commandments of my God: this I ought to do but I am not forward to do it. True it is, that those which live well may be truly said to lead their lives: they walk gently; & therefore surely: but those that live ill do spend their lives: they spend them prodigally; they consume them ●ainely. How then shall I lead my life, that I may live for ever? Certainly I must not do, as the world doth: I must not measure my life by either the length, or variety of discourses. I must not determine to trifle out an hour in vain society; and purposely address myself to companies apt to bereave me of my fleeting time. The tongue cannot walk so speedily, as the moments can post: I must not therefore instruct my tongue to hasten the hours in vain discourses; for that very hour which I resolve to sacrifice ●n common, and sinful language, may peradventure be the last which God hath ●lotted me. If so it should prove; much better it were that I should lay it out in repentance, then charge it to my sinful account, which I must suddenly balance. Nor may I think away my time: it must not be worn out by pensive, and distracting melancholy; such as the Devil is apt to teach, and thereto to annex a kind of delight. No thought is free, but that which is godly: No melancholy is justifiable, but that which proceede's from a penitent sinner. Every thought not fixed on goodness, is but a spurr to hasten the time, and an addition to my debts. I must therefore enter into myself, as I do into my garden: I must root out the weeds, the evil, and un-hallowed cogitations; but cherish the flowers, the religious, and devoute meditations. There is a way, so to spend the time, as to gain by the loss: so to give it, as to to get advantage by the gift; and that is by giving, or rather by rendering it back to the donour. This is done, by employing my little, my speedy time in the service of my God: which being done, he will reward me with eternity, when time shall be forgotten. No time is better spent, then that which is spent in a sorrow for sin. This time therefore which is lent me, I will re-pay back again, in repentance for my sins. I have knitted up a life; but the stitches are false, or broken: I will therefore ravel it out again, in the exa mination of my errors. I have woven up a life, full of falsehood, and mistakes; but I will unweave the web, by enquiring into my several breaches, mine enormities. I was borne to work; not hereafter, but here: Lord grant, that whilst I am here, Phil. 2.12. I may work out my salvation with fear, and trembling. I was borne to run; to run a race; not hereafter, but here: Lord grant, that whilst I am here, I may so run, 1. Cor. 9.24. that hereafter I may obtain. I was borne to contend; not hereafter, but here: Lord grant, that whilst I am here, I may so strive that I may get the mastery, 2. Tim. 2.5. & hereafter obtain an incorruptible crown of glory: I must work, & labour in repentance; I must run in faith; I must strive in hope; and all this must be done in this little skantling of time, which is measured to me upon earth. Alas when I shall be snatched away from these earthly employments, no more time will be allotted me for either repentance, or faith, or hope. No, Noah: If I go to heaven; there I shall have no need of repentance: If I go to hell; there I shall not have power to repent. In heaven both faith, and hope shall have their perfect consummation; and be turned into knowledge, & fruition: In hell shall be neither faith in Christ; nor hope by Christ. This life is the time, in which I must provide for the life to come. O what would not Cain, or judas, or any other of the damned in hell give (if yet they had any thing to give) for but one of these hours which I trifle away! How would they presently fall upon their knees, if an hour of repentance were lent unto them; and howl, & cry, and tear, and roar; & all they would account too little, if yet they had hopes, by repentance, to be freed from their torments! This I read; and this I cannot choose but believe: O what care ought I then to take, to spend my whole time in repentance whilst I am here; lest hereafter I should have a portion with those impenitent wretches, in the land of horror! Whilst I am here, I have hope, if yet I have grace: but if once the sentence be passed, there will be no re-voking it: when the soul shall be departed, there will be no returning. Eccl: 9.4. vers. 5. To him (says Solomon) that is joined to all the living, there is hope: for the living know that they shall die; but the dead know not any thing; neither have they any more a reward. Every one here is allotted a time to spend in repentance; to which they are strongly persuaded even by the remembrance of death: but when once they are dead, all hope of effectual godly sorrow is but vain, and as vain is the hope of mercy for their cries. vers. 10 c: 11.3. There is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave, whither they go. If the tree fall toward the South, or toward the North; in the place where the tree falleth, there it shall be. Grant therefore o my God, that I may seek thee now whilst thou mayest be found; Is: 55.6 and call upon thee whilst thou art near! Make me worship thee here; and pray to the here; and weep to thee here; and believe in thee here; and hope in thee here; Gal: 6.7 Ps: 126.5. Mat: 29.23. and love thee here: for whatsoever I sow, that I shall be sure to reap. I will therefore sow in prayers, and in tears here; and then I shall be sure to reap in joy hereafter; even to enter into the joy of my Lord. part 3 The third part Of the soliloquy. A resolution for the time to come. While the earth remaineth (saith the Lord to Noah) seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, Gen: 8.22. day and night shall not cease. This is a faithful promise of the true God; and therefore cannot be questioned, or doubted by Christians. But how long shall these seasons last? Only as long as the earth remaineth. And how long shall the earth remain? God only knoweth that: it is not in the power, or reach of the wisest upon earth to limit the time thereof. A time will come, Mat: 24 35. when heaven and earth shall pass away: when the Sun shall be darkened; and the Moon shall not give her light; vers. 29 and the Stars shall fall from heaven; and the powers of the heavens shall be shaken: but of that day, vers. 36 and hour knoweth no man, Noah not the Angels in heaven; but the Father only. The earth (I know) shall have a time of dissolution; and her funeral piles shall be kindled, and fired by him, Is: 30.33. whose breath, like a stream of brimstone, doth kindle Tophet. Yet, though I know not how soon this time shall be expired, I hope it may be deferred for many ages: and so peradventure it may be. But what if it be? What can the delaying thereof advantage me? How many ages have passed since the creation of the world! How many millions of people have had their successions since the death of Abel! I neither was created with the first; nor (for any thing I know) shall I remain with the last. If therefore the earth, and the seasons of the earth shall continue a thousand years; if yet I live not out that thousand years, what can the age of the world advantage me? Why then do I fasten my hopes upon future times? Why do I confidently reckon upon years to come; or months; or weeks; or days? Nay, why upon to morrow? Why upon an hour? Why upon a minuit? There is nothing more sure than that my former days are past, and gone; and may not be re-called: Nothing is more certain, then that the present instant is short, and cannot continue: And nothing, again, is more uncertain to me, than the future time whereon I depend. Moreover: If I were sure to live a certain proportion, and number of days, or weeks, or months: 2. King 20.6. if I were sure that the Lord would add unto my days fifteen years as he did to Hezekiahs'; yet how do I know that he would give me grace to repent in those fifteen years? An impenitent life is but a living death; and (which is worst of all) after that cometh judgement. Heb: 9.27. If then I vainly flatter myself with a hope that my life shall be prolonged; and relying upon the broken reed of that deceiving hope, if I defer my repentance; I do but hope that God will lengthen my days that I may increase my sins; & so, by consequence that my punishment may be increased. There is indeed, a sort of covetous people in the world, which promise to themselves a continuance of their lives, that they may increase their riches. These are they which say, Iam: 4 13. To day, or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy, and sell, and get gain; vers. 14 whereas (as the Apostle saith) they know not what shall be to morrow. For, what is our life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time and then vanisheth away. And there is a sort of luxurious Atheists, and Epicures, which say, Come ye, Is: 56.12. I will fetch wine and we will fill ourselves with strong drink; and to morrow shall be as this day, and much more abundant. Wised: 2.5. These are they which say Our time is a very shadow that passeth away; and after our end, there is no returning; for it is fast sealed that no man cometh again: vers. 6. Come on, therefore; let us enjoy the good things that are present; and let us speedily use the creatures, vers. 7. like as in youth. Let us fill ourselves with costly wine, and ointments; and let no flower of the spring pass us. vers. 8. Let us crown ourselves with rosebuds, before they be withered: vers. 9 Let none of us go without his part of voluptuousness; let us leave tokens of our joyfullnes in every place; for this is our portion, and our lot is this. And these are they, which (like the rich Epicure in the Gospel) say unto their Souls, Lu: 12.19. Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease; eat, drink, and be merry. All these suppose that man was created only for meats; and not meats for man. They conceive that every one shall have a time of pleasure; and wickedly they seek it in the vanity of the creatures. But oh! that both they, and I, might ever have those words of the All mighty sounding in our ears, vers. 20 Thou fool; this night thy soul shall be required of thee; and then, whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided? This night, Lord? Yes, this very hour, this very instant thou mayst strike me dead, & then as death leaves mec, judgement shall find me. O it will be a time of horror, and amazement to those that prepare not for, to those that expect not, his coming. 1. Pet. 4.17. Saint Perer said long ago that, The time is come, that judgement must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us (Lord put me into that number) what shall the end be of them that obey not the Gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, vers. 18 where shall the ungodly, and sinners appear? Hark: Dost thou hear that, o my soul? The righteous shall scarcely be saved. This is true; for it is the word of truth. It was inspired by his Spirit, who said, Straight is the gate, Mat: 7.14. and narrow is the way that leadeth to life; and few there be that find it. O how I tremble, when I read that scarcely, and that few! What shall I do, to be one of those few, although I obtain it never so hardly; although I know that I shall scarcely attain to it? Lord, I will repent; but do thou assist me. Lord, I will be faithful; but do thou increase my faith. Lu: 17.5. I will, do I say? When? How? Am I sure of any time, but the present moment? Or can I stay the present instant, and hinder it from flying? No, Noah; I cannot: By thy grace therefore, blessed God, even now, this very instant, I do repent, and am unfeignedly sorrowful for all mine offences: this very moment I do believe all that thou hast spoken in thy holy word; I do believe thee; I do believe in thee; o Lord help thou my unbelief. Mar: 9.24. If I shall have any more minutes allotted me, I will number them with my tears, because I cannot number my sins. Is: 30.20. I will eat the bread of sorrow; and I will drink the water of contrition, and affliction; if I live to eat, & drink any more. See, see how voluntarily these forward tears falling all-ready from mine eyes, present themselves to my lips, & steal into the corners, privately (as it were) instructing me, that they are the wine which befits a sinner. Lord, let me not live, if I do not love to grieve and grieve most affectionately for my heinous offences: for those offences of mine which so scourged my Redeemer, that they fetched the very blood from his sacred body. O my God, make me, thus, to pass away my time, if any more time shall be mine; and then I know that thou wilt wi●e these tears from mine eyes; Is: 25.8 and number me with those few, Mat: 7.13.14. which shall enter in at the straight gate. But what a tedious life in the mean while, shall I lead, if I do nothing but weep, and cry, and mourn out my life? Better be out of the world, then to take no pleasure in the world. Must I droop away my youth, and strength, while I am here; and then drop away into my grave, and so be forgotten? Yes; I must. If I will have my heaven hereafter, I must have my hell here. I cannot be without my hell of sin here, for the devil is always with me in his temptations; and why should I not desire rather to have my hell of punishment here, then hereafter? It will be wisdom to endure a light affliction upon earth; rather them eternal flames with the damned. It will be good policy to forbear the vain and fruitless joys upon earth; that I may have joys unspeakable, and endless in heaven. This life will not continue always. I shall not always live here, in the bitterness of this anguish, and tears. There will come a time, when I shall have beauty for ashes: Is: 61.3 the garment of gladness, for the spirit of heaviness: when I shall have comfort and joy; and that joy shall no man take away from me. Io: 16.22. Ps: 126.6. If I now go on my way weeping, bearing precious seed; I shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing my sheaves with me. But when will that time come? Will it not be long first? I am contented to weep for my sins; but me thinks, I am not willing to weep too long. O my soul, do but consider with thyself, that all thy life is not long enough (if all of it were spent in tears) to satisfy my God, for the smallest of mine offences. They are infinite in number; and he is infinite, whom they displease: Yet through the merits of him, Lu: 19.41. who wept over jerusalem, my tears shall be accepted, and my sins be forgiven. I shall not think my time of sorrow long, or tedious, if I do but hearken to the Angel which Saint john saw standing upon the sea, and upon the earth; Reu: 10 5. who lifted up his hand to heaven, vers. 6● And swore by him that liveth for ever and ever; who created heaven, and the thines that therein are; and the earth and the things that therein are; and the sea, and the things that are there in; that there should be time no longer. This will come to pass; and I am sure that it cannot be long first. Let me but have a little patience; let me possess my soul in patience but a little while; Lu: 21.19. Heb: 10 37. and he that shall come, will come, and he will not tarry. O my God, either lend me no more minutes; or howsoëver let me have no more sin. But if I must of necessity sin, so long as I shall live; give me true repentance, as often as I sin: or if that be a task too full of difficulty for a woman to perform, by reason of the weakness of the sex, and the frailty of the flesh; yet give me such repentance, as may be both true, and timely, and acceptable. Lord, I desire not to live any longer, unless I might live without offending thy gracious Majesty. What time soever thou shalt allot me hereafter, it shall be more than I will expect, lest it should wickedly entice me to defer my repentance. Yet if it be thy pleasure, to add unto my days; let it be thy pleasure likewise, to add unto my repentance. Make me thy child by grace; and then I shall pant with David; and thirst, with David; and cry, Ps: 42.2 Reu. 22 20. with David, O when shall I come, and appear before thee? Finish soon these days of sin; and come Lord jesus; come quickly. The Prayer. Ancient of days, Dan. 7.9. Reu. 4.8. whose garment is white as snow, and the hair of whose head is like the pure wool; thou which wert and art, and art to come, Lord God All mighty; have mercy upon me, the meanest, and the unworthiest of all thy creatures. Mercy, o Lord, I beg for the wicked, and most sinful loss of my precious time. O Lord forgive whatsoëver I have done amiss: pardon, o father, whatsoëver I have offended in. This, or none, must be my time of sorrow. Lord grant that I may weep, and grieve, & mourn for my former sinful life. It is thy custom, o God; it is thy promise, Ps: 50.15. Neh. 9.27. to hearken unto those who are in distress. When the Israelites cried, thou deliveredst them from the hand of their enemies: in their troubles when they cried unto thee, thou heardest them from heaven. My sins are mine enemies; and fare more cruel, then were the enemies of Israel. Lord be thou as gracious now unto me in this time of my trouble, as thou wert then unto thy people: hear me from heaven, and forgive me the wickedness of my misled life. Is: 33.2. I wait for thee o my God; be thou mine arm every morning; and my salvation in this time of spiritual sorrow. Forgive me the loss of the time already past; accept of my repentance, at this time which is present; and so protect, guide, and bless me, that what time soever shall be to come, I may wholly dedicate it to thee the donour. Ps: 20.12. 1. Pet. 1.17. Eph. 5.16. Rom. 13.11. Gal. 6.10. Io: 9.4: Teach me so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto wisdom. Make me to pass the time of my sojourning here in fear; redeeming the time, because the days are evil; and considering, that it is now high time for me, to awake out of the sleep of security. Grant that, as I have opportunity, I may do good unto all; but especially to the househould of faith. The night cometh, when none can work: Lord do thou draw me, Heb. 12 1. that I may follow after thee; that so I may run with patience the race which is set before me, vers. 2. looking unto thee, my jesus, the author, and finisher of my faith. Make me to watch, and attend thy coming, o Christ, with the wise virgins, Mat: 25 10. having oil in my lamp; that so, when thou comest for me, I may be ready for thee: and then, for thine own sake, o God, Rev. 19 9 admit me to the blessed supper of the Lamb; for thy promise sake, receive me to mercy; and bring me to thine eternal Kingdom for jesus sake, my only Lord, & Saviour, Amen. THE FOURTH SUBjECT. Tears in the night. The soliloquy. Divided into three parts, fitted for the time. 1 Immediately before going to bed. 2 Of lying down in the bed. 3 Of awaking in the night. The First part. Immediately before going to bed. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. IT was a pious resolution of holy David, Ps: 132.3. that he would not come into the tabernacle of his house, nor go up into his bed: vers. 4. He would not give sleep to his eyes, nor slumber to his eyelids; until he had found out a place for the Lord; vers. 5. an habitation for the mighty God of jacob. A resolution well befiting me too, though he was a King, and I am but the meanest, the lowest of the daughters of Abraham. The day hath bid farewell, and is laid to sleep in the evening; and the darkness of the evening inviteth me both by custom and by a debt which I own unto my wearied limbs, to prepare for rest. But she who sleeps not in God, rests not at all. To him therefore will I address myself, that I may be the fit to undress myself, and repair to the place of my sweet repose. But how shall I go to him? Where shall I find him? IT is too late to seek him, in the Temple; and I have not the means which David had, to build him one, whensoëver I please. But this shall not much trouble me. I must not be so superstitious as to think that God is confined only to the material Temple: nor may I be so profane, as to neglect that place (at fit opportunities) which is set apart for his service. I will have a reverend, and due esteem of those sacred places dedicated wholly to the service of my God, but I must be careful to avoid both superstition, and profaneness. When I go into them, I must put off my shoes from my feet, as Moses was commanded by the Lord himself; Ex. 3.5. for the place whereon he stood was holy ground. Deu: 25 9 His shoes were to be put off, as resigning his right unto God; as mourning, and humbling, himself before God; Eze: 24 27. Is: 20, 2 4. 2. Sam. 15.30. Mat: 21 13. putting off all uncleanness and earthiness, as he did those shoes. So must I too, when I go unto that house of prayer: I must in all humility resign up myself to my maker, that I may honour him with my service. But must I not, Ought I not at all times, and in all places to do the same? Ought I not to pray every where? Yes doubtless; Gen. 28 18.19. this is my duty. In the field I must build him a Bethel, with the Patriarch jacob; and there must I pray. Io. 18. ● In the garden I must follow my blessed Redeemer; and pray where he prayed, who satisfied his father for the transgression of Adam committed in the garden. In my chamber I must imitate the prophet Daniel; Dan. 6.10. Reu. 3.12. and my windows, mine eyes being open toward jerusalem, the new jerusalem, the vision of peace, I must kneel upon my knees, and pray and give thanks before my God. In my bed I must pray with sick Hezekiah, 2. King 20.2. who turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord. Thus in the field, in the garden, in my chamber, in my bed I must pray; in every place; upon every opportunity. This is Saint Paul's command, that we pray every where, 1. Tim. 2.8. lifting up holy hands. This is the exhortation of the Psalmist: Bless the Lord in all places of his dominion: Ps: 103.22. 1. Cor. 1.2. And Saint Paul sendeth salutations to all that in every place call upon the name of jesus Christ our Lord; both theirs (says he) and ours. This than I must do likewise; else, though my bed be ready for me, yet I shall not be ready for my bed: for though that be made, I may be undone. I must not think to be refreshed by the elder brother of death, and forget the younger. I know nothing to the contrary, but that my bed may be my grave; in which (like unto the Princes of Babylon, and her wisemen, her Captains, and her rulers, and her mighty men) I may sleep a perpetual sleep, Ier: 51.57. and not awake. I will therefore embalm myself with my tears, while I am yet alive; before I climb up into my bed, which may prove my grave. I will die with ease, if die I must; or I will sleep in quiett, if sleep I may; for either whereof, or for both I will fit, and prepare myself by a sorrow for mine offences. I will undress my soul, and dis-robe her of all the new, but filthy, attire of sin, which this day she hath put on: & away will I throw those polluted clothes, hoping they shall never be worn again. I will un-brace, I will open my bosom; and there will I find the lurking iniquities, which slunk in by day: and when I have found them, away they shall trice, they shall be gone; for I must keep no room for such treacherous guests. The Sun is set as if (me thinks) it were ashamed to behold the follies which this day I committed. The flattering darkness seems to offer me a mantle, to hid mine enormities; and a worse darkness than this, even that of ignorance, would rake them up in silence. But this must not be endured; for if I wink with mine eyes that I might not see my follies, I must not imagine that my wilful darkness, can veil the eyes of my all-seeing God. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, Prov. 15.3. beholding the evil, and the good. Thus God will doubtless see mine imperfections: but so must I too; and for them I must weep, till I can see ●oe more. I must view them with a misty, drizeling, dropping eye; with sadness & sorrow; lest he behold them with an eye of anger, & revenge. They must be seen by me, and be bewailed by me; in sadness they must; or else I shall never see my God with joy; & rejoicing. I will therefore sit down, and consider with myself, and examine myself how I have spent the day; before I betake myself to the rest of the night. I will examine my conscience by certain Quaere's; & make it render me answers to these demands. 1. At what time, in the morning, did I arise from my bed? 2. What first did I? 3. How devoutly prayed I? 4. What Scripture read I? 5. How did I understand it? 6. How did I meditate upon it? 7. How did I practise it? 8. What business did I? 9 How lawful was my employment? 10. How diligently did I follow it? 11. To what end, and purpose did I it? 12. What thoughts entertained I? 13. What company kept I? 14. What good words spoke I? 15. What bad words uttered I? 16. How moderately, and how thankfully did I eate, and drink? 17. What recreation took I? 18. How lawful was it? 19 How long did it continue? 20. Was it not affected with too much delight? 21. By it was I made more apt for my vocation? 22. How free from offending others, did I demean myself? 23. How did I benefit my neighbours both in words, and deeds? 24. What relief did I afford to the poor? 25. With what singleness, & privacy gave I it? 26. How often prayed I? 27. With what zeal, and devotion? 28. What old sins thought I on? 29. With what sorrow, and contrition? 30. With what holy desire of revenge upon myself? 31. What particular sin did I especially repent of? 32. What comfort had I, in that repentance? 33. How careful was I to avoid temptations, either to that, or other offences? 34. What new sin this day hath been added to mine account? 35. What old offence hath been new finned over? 36. What tears have I shed for it? 37. What sighs, and groans have I sent to heaven for pardon for it? 38. The Sun is set Eph: 4.26. Is it not gone down on my? 1. Wrath? 2. Envy? 3. Uncharitablnesse? 4. Ungodliness? LOrd, how weary am I in the searching out of my sins, who have been too too much delighted in the acting of them! How do I droop, and retch, eagerly desiring to take my rest, before I have yet summed up mine account! O that my heart had a pulse as audible as hath the clock; and that it would strike both truly, and loudly whensoëver I offend; that I might hear it; that I might seel it; that I might know it; that so I might repent! Though God created darkness, Gen: 1.5. Ps: 104 20. and called it Night: though he maketh darkness, and it is night, wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth: yet he created not the darkness of mine understanding. O that all the beasts of the forest, all the sins of my heart would now creep forth, that I might see them in their ugly shapes, and toil them in my grief, or drown them in my sorrow! He that (I know) doth see them, I as well know doth loathe them. Ps: 139.12. The darkness hideth not from him, but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and light to him are both alike. He who in the night commanded both the Manna, Num: 11.9. and the dew to fall upon the camp of the Israëlites, can (if he please) command the dew of his grace to fall this night upon my sinful soul; and with his celestial Manna he can so refresh my inward man, that I may as well live unto him, as by him. He can lead me, Ex: 13.21. he can go before me as he did before his people by day in a pillar of a cloud, to lead me the way; and by night in a pillar of fire, to give me light to go by day, and night. Lord, with thy people of Israel, I travail through the wilderness of this world: Let the fire of thy love, o Christ, lead me through the darkness of this present life; that so when these days of my sin shall be finished, Ps: 56.13. I may reign with thee, in the light of the living. About this time it was, 2. Sam. 11.2. that David arose ●rom off his bed, now I am preparing to go ●…to mine; even in the evening tide: and he ●alked upon the roof of the King's house; and ●…om the roof he saw Bathsheba, washing herself; and by the eye he was betrayed to the ●ct of adultery. His eyes were quick, and ●…en to wickedness, which by the time of the night should rather have been ready to draw the curtains. What? Did she purposely wash herself, that she might be the more unclean? The more royally defiled? Did ●ee purposely arise, that he might dangerously fall; and that, not from the roofe of the house of the King, but from the statutes, ●nd ordinances of the most high God? O, ●ee thinks, it is but shifting the sex, and in something I resemble that fowl adulterer. Proudly I do walk in my thoughts, as it were upon the roof of the King's house. My conscience, my soul is my Bathsheba, fowl and polluted; but I wash it with my tears; & yet, Lord how apt am I to tempt her to uncleanness worse than she hath formerly been defiled with. I am that very David: 1. Sam. 19.11. my sin is Saul, that watcheth to slay me: but o let my Michal, my soul tell me, that if I save not my life to night, to morrow, yea this night before to morrow, I shall be, I may be, slain. To night let me therefore drown all my saul's, all mine iniquities in my tears; lest, job 17.13. before the morning, the grave be mine house, and I make my bed in the darkness. Me thinks, this very evening puts me in mind of my mortality; for the Psalmist tell's me, Ps: 104.23. that man goeth forth unto his work, and to his labour until the evening: and in that evening may be as well the cloasing of eyes for an eternal, as a temporarie-sleepe. When I look out at my window, Lord how pale the Moon appears at the sight of a sinner. O how the stars do seem to wink, and as it were, to shut their eyes when I gaze upon them, as if it made their brighter eyes even ready to water, to behold the dry ones of so remorseless an offender. By the clearness of their sparkling fires they seem to look thorough me; and by their wonderful numbers, in a silent arithmetic, they tell me of mine infinite, innumerable offences. When thus with bashfulness, I am enforced to shut my casement again, and look back in my chamber, me thinks this very candle tell's me the vanity of my sinful condition. Even like unto this, are all my best, and most glorious actions: they are composed of nothing but tallow, & filth: and though they make a goodly, and resplendent show to the world; yet do they stink in the nosetrills of the great Creator. This burns; and I consume, and waste away. This I may suffer to burn, until all the matter be consumed, and spent, ●r else I may extinguish, and put it out at ●…y pleasure. Just so may my God deal ●…kewise with me. He may spare me upon ●arth, Ps: 32.4 until my moisture be like to the ●routh in summer: or he may put me out ●resently; this night; at the very instant when 〈◊〉 extinguish this enlightening flame. That which nourisheth this light, is apt to destroy 〈◊〉, if I but turn it upside down: so my meats, ●nd my drinks are apt to destroy me with cloying, with surfeits. Without this artificial brightness, mine eye cannot fix itself upon any object, or distinguish of colours; and yet, what is this to the light of the Sun; or that, ●o the brightness of my God? Lord, what an uncouth thing it is, to be in darkness! Yet thus ●ny God (if he had so decreed) might always ways have punished me; & have taken from ●nee the sight of mine eyes. Thus, yea much worse than thus, may he justly be revenged on me too; and for my deeds of darkness, he may throw me into utter darkness, where ●hall be weeping, and gnashing of teeth. Mat: 8.12. 1. Sam. 28.8. Surely Saul did not know this power of God; or he did not remember it, when he disguised himself, and put on other raiment, and went, he ●nd two men with him and came to the witch of Endor, by night; and prayed her to divine unto him by the familiar Spirit, and bring up Samuel again, to answer his demands. O, that Spirit is the Devil, and that Devil is too familiar; and yet, how apt am I with Saul, rather to consult with him, and to follow his suggestions, then to apply myself to the oracles of my God This present night, for aught that I know, may be as sad, & dismal to me, as that was to the Egyptians, when Pharach risen up in the night, Ex: 12.30. he and all his servants and all the Egyptians; and there was a great cry in Egypt for there was not a house, where there was not one dead. But, to prevent the fear of such a horrid judgement, I will sue for compassion; and beg of my God, that instead of destroying me; or any of this house with a sudden destruction, he will this night rather not only slay my first borne, mine original sin; but also all the abortive issue of mine actual transgressions: And, though the cry be great because my sinful self am unwilling to leave them, or they me; yet I will pray, that the destroying Angel may come, and destroy them; that so myself, my poor soul may be preserved alive. Such a destruction as this would be my best preservation; and such a slaughter would purchase my rejoicing. These sins are mine enemies, and those enemies whose ruin and subversion I am bound to pray for. I will therefore humbly beseech my powerful preserver to slay them, to cut them off speedily, presently, without any longer delay. And that my prayers may be more effectual, they shall join with my tears in my humblest supplication for a freedom from these enemy's. I will imitate David; Ps: 42.3 and my tears shall be my meat day, and night. It is but ●ustice, that these eyes which have wandered ●…fter enticing objects, should be punished with the smart of brinish tears. With such weeping eyes will I behold mine offences, and on them will I look as now I do upon ●his burning Light; that so, like unto this, ●hey may appear glaring, and multiplied; even greater by fare through the clowdines of mine eyes, than otherwise I should view ●hem. The eye is commonly a teacher of mer●y; for when it is fixed on an object full of dis●resse, it presently invites the heart to compassion. The eye of my God is never shut; never weary of pitying; although both mine eyes, and my compassion also are seldom open. Therefore mine eye shall weep; and when I weep, his eye will pity: My heart shall sigh, and his heart will commiserate: My whole self shall wholly offer up itself to him, in my devotions; and then, I am assured, he will embrace me in his arms; and watch over me by his protection. I will weep for my sins; I will grieve for the offences of the day that is past: and weeping, & grieving, I will address myself to the keeper of Israel, Ps. 121.4. who neither slumbereth, nor sleepeth, & thus I will say: The Evening prayer. OMniscient God, who hast seen the offences which this day hath produced; and for them mightest justly throw me into the land of darkness; Vouchsafe, I besiec● thee, to behold the tears of a repenting prodigal. The sins which I have committed I cannot number; nor can I value thy mercies in forbearing me, so grievous an offendor. The day is gone, and the evening has teneth me to my desired sleep: Lord le● it be thy pleasure to bury my sins in th● darkness of oblivion; and make me afraid and ashamed to commit them any more by the light of the Sun. Let thy Christ shine i● my heart, and warm my cold and chill●wed devotion; that with fervency, and zeal I may ever address my prayers unto thee. O let 〈…〉 settforth before thee, as incense and the 〈◊〉 ●f my hands, be an evening sacrifice. Ps: 74.16. The 〈◊〉, o Lord, is thine, and the night is likewise thine: do thou take me this night, Ps: 91.5 vers. 6. into thy holy protection. Let m● not be afraid for the terro● by night; nor for th● pestilence that walketh i●…arknesse. O tho● that hast made the Moon●… and the Stars t● govern the night; Ps: 136 9 shine mercifully into m● dark, and polluted conscience; and revea●… unto me all the errors of my life, that a● the gate of thy mercy I may beg for remision. The Levites did thank, 1. Chr. 23. 30. and praise thee ●s well at evening, as in the morning. Lord, ●hough I am weak, though I am unworthy; ●et so well as I can, so well as thou art plea●ed to enable thee thereto) I praise, and ●lesse thy glorious name, for all thy mercies which thou hast showed unto me; and in particular for thy protection this day which ●s past. One Lamb, by thine appointment, Ex: 29.39. ●…as to be offered at evening day by day, by thy children of Israel. My soul, o Lord, should ●e that Lamb, and myself an Israelite, but ●…y soul is blemished; I myself am rebel●…ous. To thee therefore do I offer (not my polluted soul, as it is full of uncleanness; but ●ather) that innocent Lamb of thee my God ●…hich taketh away the sins of the world, most ●umbly beseeching thee to hearken unto him ●…terceding for me; and by his death and ●assion to grant me pardon for mine offence. First, seal unto my soul the remission ●f my sins; and then let me sleep, and ●est in thee. Refresh my wearied limbs with ● comfortable repose: and grant that I ●…ay neither offend thee by dreams, and fantasies; nor displease thee with excessive, and immoderate sleep. Preserve me from the ●angers of fire, storms, tempests, thiefs, ●nd whatsoëver else may hurt my person, or ●state. All is thine; do tho●… be the keeper, ●nd protector of all. Thou hast promised by thy Prophet, that the righteous shall ente● into peace, Is: 57.2 and rest in their beds. Gracious father, cover me with the righteousness o● Christ thy Son; and grant me the peac● of thy chosen, that I may rest in thee. Let m● sleep be like that of the Church that my hea●… may always awake unto thee. Cant: 5 2. If this night● this sleep shall be my last, Lord make it my best that I may awake in thine arms, and live in thy bosom. Ps: 4.8. Let me lay me do w●… in peace, and sleep; and do thou, Lord, mak● me dwell in safety. So be it, o my father, for the merits and worthiness of thy Son jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour, Amen. part 2 The second part Of the soliloquy. Fitted for the time of lying down in the bed. THe advice of David to his enemies, I take, me thinks, as spoken to myself; where he bids them to Stand in awe, Ps: 4.4. and sinne not; to commune with their own hearts upon their beds, and be still. It is fit that I likewise say my request with my mouth, and my petition with my heart, and pray upon my bed, & remember the day of death for ever. I have meditated upon the Evening; I have prayed for ●otection: and, since that, I have disrobed ●…y self of the garments of the day: But, ●ith them, have I put off mine offences? 〈◊〉 do not I intent to put them on again 〈◊〉 morrow, with the apparel of my body? ●o this I am apt by nature: from this, o my ●od, deliver me, by thy grace. My clothes ●e laid by; and even now, me thought, 〈◊〉 could scarce hasten soon enough, to hide ●ee in my bed from mine own sight of ●ine own nakedness. Lord, what a fearful ●ing is a guilty conscience, which made Adam and Eve to see that they were naked, Gen. 3.7. ●…d guilty of their folly; and yet to make ●t figge-leaved aprons to hid their shame! ●hus do I blush at myself; and yet I have ●ely those fig leaves to hid my sins from ●e view of the world. vers. 8. But Adam and Eve ●…d themselves also, even from the presence of ●e Lord God: So do I endeavour likewise ●hen I am afraid to consider of, or unwilling 〈◊〉 confess unto him my manifold transgres●…ons. My garments are off, the emblems ●oth of my pride, and my poverty: for the ●ormer is discovered in the richness of my ●…bes; and the latter in the necessity of them. Thus do we simple sinners wear the very ●…wells of the worms, and the fleeces of the ●…nocent beasts, in the time of the day for ●…odestie, for heat, and for ornament: and in the night we lie down in the feathers of the fowls, for our ease, and our delight. Here now I am laid; here I am stretched out, as if I were created only for ease, and repose. But, o my drowsy eyes, watch ye a little; and ye my thoughts, ponder awhile upon the place where I am laid. Such a bed as this, hath been a place of torment, Ex: 8.3 as well as ease; when the river brought forth frogs abundantly among the Egyptians, which went up, and came into their houses, and into their bedchambers; yea, and upon their very beds. Lord, how it makes me startle but to name those loathsome creatures! and yet, these were they which were the Egyptians chamber-fellows; these were their cold, and noisome bedfellows. Even thus have I deserved to be plagued too, as were those Egyptians: for how often hath God, by his Moses, and his Aaron, by his officers, and his ministers commanded me to let my Israel, my soul go serve the Lord; and yet, like hard hearted Pharaoh, I have still refused? But have I not a punishment, for my rebellion, worse than they had? For they had but the loathsome vermin to torment their bodies but I have worse; I have my ugly sins to torment my conscience, which croak so in my bosom, that I know not where to free myself from their hideous noise. But since these frogs have lived in the waters, and bred in the waters, which became blood, through the deep dye of my heinous offences: I will therefore do as once Elisha the Prophet did by the waters of jericho; 2. King. 2.21. Ps: 38.18. Ex 12.31. vers. 32 I will cast salt into the waters, and heal them. I will confess my wickednesses, and be sorry for my sins. I will dispatch mine Israelitesse, and she shall go, and serve the Lord: her flocks also, and her herds (my thoughts, and my meditations) shall go and serve my God; that they may bless me also. Then shall these crawling sins die out of this house of my heart; Ex: 8.13.14. and I will gather them up together on heaps, and drown them in my tears, because they have made such a stink in the nostrils of my God. Such a bed as this, hath been the grave, & such sheets the winding sheets of divers persons, who dreamt not of it. 2. Sam. 4.7. When Ishbosheth lay on his bed in his bedchamber, the wicked & treacherous Rechab and Baanah smote him, and slew him and beheaded him. 2. Chr: 24.25. Ps: 89.19. So did Zabad & jehozabad slay joash on his bed, and he died. So it may happen unto me too, unless the Lord be my defender, and the holy one of Israel my protector. Solomon hath forbid the company of such Rechabs and Baanahs, such Zabads, and Ichozabads saying, Prov. 4.14, vers. 16 Enter not into the path of the wicked; and go not in the way of evil men: For thy sleep not, except they have done mischief; and their sleep is taken away unless they cause some to fall. Yet I have entertained such in my society; yea, I have enticed them, and hired them to the destruction even of myself. My sins, oh my sins are the murderers that are come unto my bed; and, without the mercy of him who destroyed death, will bring me, 2. Pet. 2 3. even me to destruction; my damnation shall not slumber. Such a bed as this, 2. Sam. 13.5. hath been the bed of incest, when Amnon, by the advice of jonadab, lay down on his bed, and made himself sick, that his sister Tamar might be sent unto him by his tender, and compassionate father. O what hellish plots were invented for the satisfaction of the lust-sick adulterer! He was but to counterfeit a sickness, who yet was wounded at the heart: and she who both by obedience to her father, and love to her brother was ready to dress the dish he required, was overcome at length by the scorching flames of his incestuous fury. Heb. 13 4. That bed which is honourable in the state of marriage, yet not unless it be kept undefiled, was made the torment of a sister un wedded: and he who could not enjoy her by the rules of religion, forced her to his appetite by the violence of his hands. But as the act was fowl, so the effect was revengeful; yea and even the innocent suffered for the villainy of the rasisher; in so much as Amnon hated her exceedingly; 2. Sam. 13.15. so that the hatred wherewith he hated her, was greater than the love wherewith he hath loved her. Have not I been sick with Amnon too? Have not I longed, and pined, and lingered after unlawful pleasures, and wicked delights? What though they grew not into the height of incest, or adultery of the body? My poor soul, that was a virgin, hath been ravished, hath been deflowered with delusions; and at length hath been conquered by the violence of the tempter. O my God, do thou be pleased to put such an enmity hereafter between the tempter and the sinner that my soul may hence forward abhor those suggestions, as the sated ravisher did his sister; that the hatred wherewith she shall hate them, may be greater than the love wherewith she hath loved them. Such a bed as this (or at least thus designed for a nest of repose) did Ahab lay him down upon, and turned away his face, 1. King 21.4. and would eat no bread, when he was come into his house heavy, and displeased, because of the word which Naboth the jezreelite had spoken unto him: for he had said, I will not give thee the inheritance of my fathers. Here was trouble, and discontent; and presently tossing, and tumbling upon the bed; and all because a poor subject would not sell his little vineyard to the great King. All this was but for a little spot of ground, so small, that it was not so much as a grain of the finest sand, to the mountain of Ararat, in comparison of this globe, and fabric of the earth. But I might have a Kingdom greater than the world, above the world, which I should not buy, but only beg; & upon my humble suit it would be freely given me: and yet though hithexto I have neglected it, I throw not myself upon my bed in a sad, and pensive discontent, because I have been backward in sieking, and petitioning for it. But in steed of thus lying on my bed, into it I go, and in it I lie down, where I rather choose to sleep away the thought of it, then in a holy ambition contrive the way to be possessed there of. Such a bed as this did the harlot speak of, when she enticed her lover, Pro: 7.16. saying, I have decked my bed with cover of tapestry, with carved work, vers. 17 with fine linen of Egypt: I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon: vers. 18 Come let us take our fill of love until the morning; let us solace ourselves with love. O what enticements were there to wickedness! What provocations to uncleanness! Richer were the cover of the harlot's bed, and much more vallewable than was the person of the owner. Those perfumes were ordained more for necessity then delight; and yet the stink of her wickedness outvied the fragrancy of the myrrh, and the cinnamon. How, me thinks, do I, or (at least) should I loathe the impudence of such a tempting adulteress! What a stain is a harlot to our frail sex; when she whose beauty should be discovered by the modesty of a blush, does shamefully importune her lover to uncleanes! And yet, such a one might I have been too, had not the grace of my preserver made me detest the offence. Even to such folly was I prone by nature; but from it am I withdrawn by the mercy of my God. The adulteress jezabel had made such use of the place of repose: just it was therefore that the Lord should cast her into a bed; Reu. 2.22. and them that committed adultery with her into great tribulation, except they would repent them of their deeds. The bed may be a place for punishment, as well as for ease: and those who defile it with uncleanness may look to be a burden unto it and it unto them in their diseases. It is but justice, that sin should be punished in the very place where it is committed. Let me therefore examine myself: and if God in mercy hath preserved me from the pollution, let me try if yet there lurk not an intent in the thought. Yet here I must not stay: I must consider with myself that there is a spiritual fornication too, as well as a corporal; and that idolatry is a spiritual adultery. Thus upon a lofty, Is: 57.7 and high mountain had judah set her bed; and thither went she up, to offer sacrifice. Thus the Babylonians came to idolatrous Aholibah into the bed of love; Eze. 23 17. and they defiled her with their whoredom, and she was polluted with them. If I am free from this adultery, I must bless the Lord my God, the jealous God, Ex: 20.3. who said in his commandment, Thou shalt have none other Gods but me. If I have been guilty, I will besiech him with my tears to remit mine offences; and through his grace to preserve me from a future relapse. On such a bed as this doth the wicked usually devise his mischief; Ps: 36.4 when he setteth himself in no good way, nor abhorreth that which is evil. Against such did the prophet cry out, and say, Mich. 2 ●. Woe unto them that devise iniquity, & work evil upon their beds: when the morning is light they practise it, because it is in the power of their hands. From this I fear, I have not been free: for have no wicked purposes, have no sinful devices been forged, been contrived in my bed? When my meditations should have been fixed, and fastened upon my God, have I never entertained the suggestions of the Devil? Have I never prided myself in the richness of the ornaments of my chamber, and my bed? In the cover of the walls, the curious hang? In the deckings of the bed, the curtains and vallences? Have not my desires been wandering after the furniture of a King, Ect. 1.6. even King Ahasuerus; who had white, and green, and blue hang, fastened with cords of fine linen, and purple to silver rings, and pillars of marble? Have I not wished, for his beds of gold, and silver, upon a pavement of red, and blue, and white, and black marble? Or hath not my bed been the bed of wantonness, or immoderate ease? Have I not been like unto those against whom the Prophet pronounceth the woe, saying, Amos. 6.1. vers. 4. Woe unto them that are at ease in Zion: That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the calves out of the midst of the stall. I must not be too indulgent to myself. Too much selfelove may prove my destruction. The sins which I am guilty of must not be denied; neither may they lie dry with me in my bed. O Noah: Therefore lest I sleep too much; or they have rest too much; or the devil entertainment too much; (that unclean spirit, Mat: 12.43. whose custom it is, in dry places to sieke his rest) I am resolved, with David, Ps. 6.6. that every night I will make my bed to swim and will water my couch with my tears. Every night shall be a night of sorrow, a night of weeping for my sins, Ps. 30.5 that so my God may send me joy in the morning. Apt I am to distrust my God, & to fix my thoughts upon carking and caring for the things of to morrow. Nor am I single in the offence: too many are apt to sacrifice to their own shallow, & titular wisdom; choosing rather to depend upon their own discretion, then to rely upon the providence of the great disposer. Eccl: 8.16. Such there are indeed that neither day, nor night do see sleep with their eyes and (like the wife in the Proverbs) their candle goeth not out by night. Prov: 31.18. But I must remember the command of my Redeemer, and Take no thought for the morrow; Mat: 6.34. for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. And as I may not distrust the providence of my God; so neither will I, nor may I boast of to morrow; Prov: 27.1. for I know not what a day, or a night may bring forth: But I will besiech my God to give me content with what soëver he shall send. Mercy I will beg for, howsoëver he shall dispose of meé and comfortable sleep, if he spare me life. I will besiech him, that if through a disturbed fant'sie. I be molested with dreams; even in those dreams he will be pleased to open mine ears, job: 33.16. and seal mine instruction. If the master, and builder of this house of clay, the great Creator of heaven and earth, shall come, and this night shall call me to judgement; Ps: 139.13. Grant o my God (o thou who didst form me and fashion me in the womb of my mother) that I may watch in thee, for the coming of thyself; whether it shall be at midnight, or at the cock-crowing, or in the morning; Mat. 13.35. that though thou comest suddenly, yet thou find me not sleeping. And now I am lying down, let me not be afraid: Prov: 3.24. yea make me lie down, and my sleep to be sweet unto me. Thus will I close mine eyes with sorrowful tears: and thus will I rely upon the protection of my God. part 3 The third part Of the soliloquy. To be used at the time of awaking in the night. O What a trouble is this, to one desirous to sleep! Thus to toss, and tumble this way, and that way! Thus to long to sleep, and not be able to sleep! I am sure that I did sleep; but I am not sure when I shall sleep again. Lord, how silent is the night! How quiet are all things, but my disturbed self! How slowly doth the clock number the hours! It strikes, one, two &c: and yet I sleep not. It was the complaint of holy job unto the Lord, saying, job: 7.13. Vers. 14. When I say, my bed shall comfort me; my couch shall ease my complaint: Then thou sharest me with dreams and terrifiest me through visions. Me thinks I could partly be contented to be troubled as job was; with dreams, and visions; so that I might be sure to have the benefit of the sleep. Every thing that moves but gently, possesseth me with fears. The watchman of the night, which awaked the Apostle out of the sleep of security, disturb's me with chanting out the disisions of the night. But is there no way to be sure either to sleep sweetly, or to awake contentedly? Is: 57.21. There is no sleep, no rest, no peace, saith my God, to the wicked. If I am wicked, I cannot sleep: or if I do, it is rather a cessation from labour, than a contented repose: for the awaking conscience disturbs the fancy with hideous apparitions. Let me a little enter into myself, & consider whether I was prepared for sleep, before I applied myself unto it? Did I enter into my bed with divine meditations; and make up the account of my former life, before I drew the curtains of mine eyes? Certainly my God awake's me, that I may either repent of some sin which I have formerly forgotten; or praise him for some mercy, for which I was not thankful. If thus, while I awake, my thoughts be divine; whensoever I sleep, my rest shall be comfortable. I will therefore take up the confidence of David, who said that his soul should be satisfied as with marrow, Ps: 63.5 and fatness; and his mouth should praise the Lord with joyful lips, when he remembered God upon his bed; Vers. 6. and meditated on him in the night watches. I must even do as David did, if I hope for the blessing which David had. Yea and so I will, with the assistance of him, Eccl. 5.12. who causeth the sleep of the laborious to be sweet. The Prophet, me thinks, seemeth to challenge the Almighty, when he saith Thou hast proved mine heart, Ps. 17.3 and visited me in the night: thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing in me: nothing evil; nothing amiss. Lord, though I cannot acquitt myself in the words of that Prophet, yet I will resolve with that Prophet; I am utterly purposed that my mouth shall not offend. Surely that blessed Psalmist had often discourse, and conference with his God in the times of the night: and doubtless he was then most free for the service of his maker, when most he was freed from the affairs of his subjects. O how comfortably he does cheer up himself, when he saith, I have remembered thy name, Ps. 119.55. o Lord, in the night; and have kept thy law! Yet this was not the practice of David only No: I find that it is a blessing which God in mercy, hath sent to others also, of his servants. Is. 26.1 The Prophet Isaiah telleth judah of a day that should come, when this song should be sung in their land, we have a strong city; vers. 9 salvation will God appoint for walls, and bulwarks, etc. With my soul have I desired thee in the night: yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early. O what a blessed time was this to judah! O how sweet is the, remembrance of God in the night! It is sweet indeed to remember him in the night; to sieke him in the night: but then 'tis doubtless full of horror to sieke, and not to find him. And yet thus God threatneth Israël, and Ephraim, and judah; the Priests, and the people, Hos: 5.6. and the Princes, that They should go to sieke the Lord; but they should not find him; because he would withdraw himself from them. And the Church complaineth that, Cant: 3.1. By night on her bed, she sought him whom her soul loveth: she sought him, but she found him not. Alas, how came it to pass, that her beloved would not be found? Surely he was not talking (although thus Elyah mocked the Priests of Baal, 1. King 18.27. concerning their dumb, and stupid idol) nor pursueing, nor in a journey; nor yet slept, that he had need to be awaked. Is: 65.1 No, Noah: he that was found of them that sought him not, would not without cause deny himself to her, who sought him with diligence. It was his promise to the captives in Babylon, that after seventy years they should return to jerusalem, Ier: 29.10. vers. 12 and should call upon him, and go and pray unto him, and he would hearken unto them: They should seek him, vers. 14 and find him, when they should search for him, with all their hearts. How then came it to pass, that his Spouse did miss of him; especially in the bed, where she might justly expect him? Alas, alas, she thought herself so sure of her beloved, that she laid herself down, as on the bed of ease: but supposing him to be with her, she miss his company; and though she sought him by solitary meditation, yet she found him not. In the night she sought him, in the night of her afflictions; but she found him not; not presently; & that because she neglected his grace when he offered it unto her; or because she kept it not carefully, when he gave it unto her. Yet, Is. 54.8 though in a little wrath he hide his face from her for a moment; Cant. 3.4. she afterwards found him, whom her soul loved. And why then should not I hope to find him too, though in my bed; though in the night? It is not through sloth, that I seek him here: but it is in the fervency of my affection, that now awaking, I would find him here. If yet I cannot find him here, if thou hidest thyself from me, o my sweetest jesus, & that either in judgement, for mine offences; or in thy love, that thou mayst heighten, and inflame mine affection, I will do as the Israelites did, at the news which was brought them by those that were sent to search the land; I will lift up my voice; & cry: yea, Num. 14.1. Ps. 6.6. with the people too, I will weep all night. Or, with the Prophet David, All the night will I make my bed to swim, and water my couch with my tears. Or with Samuel for Saul; 1 Sam. 15.11. I will cry unto God all the night. Or as King Darius for Daniel in the Lion's den; Dan: 6.18. I will pass the night fasting, while my sleep goeth from me. Or as David again, when his child was sick; I will fast and lie all the night upon the earth; 2. Sam. 12.16. rather than I will not find thee, o my Saviour. Thus when I have found him whom my soul loveth, then until the day break, and the shadows fly away, Cant. 2 17. he shall turn, and be like a Roe, or a young Hart upon the mountains of Bether. Weep indeed I may; weep I must; for I sent my faith, as a Spy, to the promised land, to the celestial Canaan; and she, through her weakness and fear, hath brought me word that the city is walled, Num. 13.26. as if I could not, or should not enter: But, with Caleb, vers. 30 I will resolve that I will g●e up and possess it; for I know that, through the assistance of my jesus, I shall be able to conquer. Weep I must, 1. Sam. 15.11. with Samuel, for my Saul, for my poor soul, which hath turned back from following my God, and hath not performed his commandments. But I will not only weep, but will also question my Saul, vers. 14 and say, What meaneth this bleating of the sheep in mine ears, and this lowing of the oxen which I hear? What meaneth the noise of my lesser offences; and the roaring of the greater, which are larger, and fatter than the bulls of Basan? I will thus examine my soul; and then I will cry for her, vers. 24 until she shall confess that she hath sinned, and transgressed the commandments of God. Weep I must, with King Darius, for my Daniel; for my heart, Dan. 6.2. Ps. 57.4 1. Chr. 12.18. jer. 50.17. 2. Sam. 12.15. vers. 22 which is the chief of my Precedents; for it is in the lions' den; my soul is among lions; it is wounded with lions, with such mighty sins, that their faces are as were David's worthies, even like the faces of lions. These lions, these Kings of Assyria and Babylon have scattered this my Israel, and driven her away, and almost devoured her. Weep I must, with David, for my child, my darling soul; for it is stricken, it is very sick: yea I will fast, and I will weep; for who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? Why should not such thoughts as these entertain the hours, which are borrowed from my slumbers? Dan. 2.29. King Nabuchadnezzar had thoughts came into his mind upon his bed (for so Daniel styleth his dreams) what should come to pass hereafter. 2. Chr. 7.12. The Lord appeared to Solomon by night, after his dedication of the temple, & said unto him, I have heard thy prayer, and have chosen this place to myself, for an house of sacrifice. jacob had a vision by night; Gen. 28. 12. vers. 13 vers. 16 and in a dream was promised the land where he flept. Thus, sleeping or waking, I hope that it shall be truly said, The Lord is in this place. True it is, that the night is the presenter of dismal apparitions to divers persons; and the absence of the Sun in many is the discoverer of the weakness of faith. But surely those that fear the shadow of a fant'sie, do not truly feel the power of faith, which (according to the Apostle) is the substance of things hoped for; Heb. 11 1. and the evidence of things not seen. The diseases of the body make sick men sensible of the want of the Sun; for to them the nights administer both anguish, and melancholy. Ps. 77.2. job. 7.3 David's sore ran in the night, and ceased not; his soul refused comfort. job was made to possess months of vanity; and wearisome nights were appointed to him: His bones were pierced in the night-seasons; C. 30.17. and his sinews took no rest. Yea, as well the healthful, as the sick, may find the night a producer of affliction: even those that are most laborious, Eccl. 2.22. and industrious in the world. What hath man of all his labour (saith the Preacher) and of the vexation of his heart, wherein he hath laboured under the Sun? vers. 23 For all his days are sorrows, and his travail, grief: yea, his heart taketh not rest in the night. To the sick, and to the healthful; in time of peace, & in time of water the night hath often been a time of sorrow. 2. King 19.35. Once did the Lord send his Angel, which went and smote in the camp of the Assyrians an hundred fourscore and five thousand: & when they arose early in the morming, behold they were all dead corpses. Thus have miseries siezed on divers in the silent night: and yet that very time which hath been to some the sad producer of woe and distress; too others it hath brought the tidings of joy, and pleasant content. C. 7.3. Surely the four Lepers were not ignorant of it; who (resolving not to sit in the gate of Samaria until they died, nor ●o enter into the city for fear of the famine) went into the camp of the Syrians, vers. 5. whom the Lord had made to fly in the twilight: & there the four poor men did eat, verse 7. vers. 8. and drink; and carried away thence both silver, and gold, and raiment, in great abundance. jud. 19 9 The night was a time of rejoicing to the Levite, when he stayed to be merry with the father of his contubine: but afterwards it became a time of woe to him, when the Gibeathites took the concubine from him, vers. 25 and abused her all night until the morning; and until the day began to spring, did not let her go. Thus is not God confined to times, nor enforced to the rules, and dictates of nature. He can, according to nature, sometimes render us a night of sorrow: and sometimes again, besides, or above, or against the practice of nature, he can produce light out of darkness; and comfort and content, when we expect our disturbance. For my part therefore (seeing that my rest departeth from me; and that at this time when others securely take their repose, mine eyes are unapt to close with my slumbers) I will make this night a night of sorrow, that so I may hope for a morning of comfort; I will grieve for my sins, that I may rejoice in my Saviour. I wi●… take this time, C. 6.27 as Gideon did, to thron● down the altar of Baal; because peradventure, like unto him, I could not do it by day, for fear of displeasing. That altar of Baal is erected in my heart: from this heart therefore even now will I separate it; and down it shall go, away it shall be thrown; that so in the room of it I may presently erect an altar for my God. I will take this time, as joshua was commanded, Ios. 1.8 to meditate in the book of the law, which shall not departed from my mouth; but I will meditate therein day and night. 2. Pet. 1.9. Even that sure word of prophecy will I meditate upon, whereunto (as saith Saint Peter) I shall do well, if I take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place until the day-dawne, and the daystar arise in my heart. I will take this time, as David did; and will call to remembrance my song in the night; Ps. 77.6 or rather not my song, but God's; for job complaineth, job 35.10. that None saith where is God my maker, who giveth songs in the night? Not such a song as Ephraim used, for those were howl instead of songs; yea and howl without comfort, because therein was no mention of God: for thus the Lord complaineth of them, by the mouth of his Prophet, Hos. 7.14. Ps. 147 7. saying, They have not cried unto me with their heart, when they howled upon their beds. But my song shall be a thanksgiving, even unto my God: not short, not of a ●all continuance, like the gourd of jonah, Io: 4.10. vers. 7. ●hich came up in a night, and perished in a night: ●oe; I would not have a worm in the morning, ●hen I arise, to smite my joy, and cause it to ●ither. This were but to sieke my God in the 〈◊〉 me of distress, and to forget him in my prosperity. But I will resolve, with David: Ps: 145.1. 〈◊〉 will extol thee, o my God, and King; and 〈◊〉 will bless thy name for ever, and ever: Every day will I bless thee; vers. 2. and I will praise thy name for ever, and ever. jer. 49.9. Though thiefs should come this night upon me, and think to destroy till they had enough: though wicked thoughts, and evil suggestions of Satan, should seek to rob me of my song; yet will I rely upon my God, upon my jesus, who sang a hymn before he went up to the mount of Olives; Mat. 26 30. and him will I besiech that I may not be rob, be deprived of this comfort in the night. Mat: 25 6. At midnight there was a cry of the coming of the bridegroom, Behold the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him. What know I, but this may prove that very night unto me? My God may come, and call for my soul. Grant therefore, o blessed Father, that (with the wise virgins) I may be ready, vers. 10 and go in with the bridegroom to the marriage, that the door may not be shut against me: and that so I may pass from this song in the night of misery upon earth, to that heavenly choir of Saints, and Angels, Reu: 22 5. where is no night, nor need of a candle, Noah nor of the light of the Sun; that thou, o my God, mayst give me light, and that I may reign for ever, and ever. Amen. subject 5 THE FIFTH SUBJECT. Tears in the Day. The soliloquy. Divided into three parts, and fitted for the time. 1 Of awaking early in the morning. 2 Of being newly arisen. 3 Of preparing to go to dinner. part 1 The first part Of the soliloquy. Fitted for the time of awaking early in the morning. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe night is fare spent; Rom. 13.12. the day is at hand. I wish that the night of sin were as near a period; and the day of rejoicing, the day of eternal happiness were as near approaching. It is the promise of God, Reu: 2.26. that he which overcometh, and keepeth the works of Christ unto the end, to him shall be given power over the nations; vers. 28 and I will give him (saith Christ) the morning star. If God be so early in his liberality, why should not I be as early in my devotions? I am now awaked, though yet I am somewhat drowsy, and incline to sleep again, stretching myself in my lazy bed. But let me hear Saint Paul speaking to me, Rom. 13.11. and saying, Now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now is salvation nearer, than when we believed. How's this? High time to awake? Surely the Apostle speaks it not to me, for it is yet very early; too soon to arise; for I hear no noise, no stirring; no body's yet up; all is hush, and quiet. The bird which shaked a pillar of the church, Mat. 26 74. and crowed at his act, bids me good-morrow; and tell's me it is hardly the break of day. Besides, the Prophet David tell's me, Ps. 127 2. It is in vain for us to rise up early, to sit up late, and to eat the bread of sorrows; for so we give our beloved sleep: and why then should I delight in vanity? Prov. 6 10. Yet a little sleep, therefore; a little slumber; a little folding of the hands to sleep. But hark! What's that? Me thinks I hear somebody call, and say, How long wilt thou sleep, vers. 9 o sluggard. When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yes; I did hear somebody call so, indeed. It was none other but God himself by the mouth of King Solomon. Even the same who telleth me, that If I do not arise, vers. 11 then shall poverty come upon me, as one that travaileth; and my want, as a armed man. c. 20.13 I must not love sleep therefore, lest I come to poverty: but I must open mine eyes, and I shall be satisfied with bread. Well then; I'll rub mine eyes; and rouse up myself, and bethink myself of my business: but first I will think upon the first, upon the best; upon God. I have reason to give him the first, the chiefest room in my meditations; because I laid me down, and slept; Ps. 3.5. and again I am now awaked; and all this through the mercy, and goodness of the Lord, who sustained me. He preserved me, who neither slumbereth, Ps. 121.4. Ps. 44.23. nor sleepeth, although David cryeth out to him, and saith, Awake why sleepest thou, o Lord? Arise; cast us not off for ever? But this was only through the fervency of his devotion, in a time of severe persecution, and affliction: for at another time, it was he himself who confessed, Ps. 111.4. that He which keepeth Israel shall neither slumber, nor sleep. Surely he may more properly call out from heaven to me, than David upon earth did to him in heaven, and say, Awake, why sleepest thou? Yea, & so indeed he doth; & promiseth me, and offereth me the morning star to light me: But it is upon condition, that I must first overcome. Overcome? What? Must I overcome my sleep? That I have done. Must I overcome mine enemies? Those I am commanded to love. Mat. 5.44. Yet I must overcome mine enemies, my sins: and I must also overcome myself, Ps. 18.28. the sinner; and then, I am sure, he will light my candle, as he did david's. The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness: he will give me comfort, joy, and prosperity after my trouble. Nay, a candle shall not serve my turn: he hath promised to give me a star, the morning star, which shall both enlighten my soul with the brightness of divine knowledge, in this morning of a happiness begun; and also enlighten me hereafter, in the morning of the general re-surrection, when my body shall be glorified together with my soul, & I shall shine as the stars for ever and ever. Dan. 12 3. He will give me the morning star to enlighten me, not to torment me. The prince of darkness was once an Angel of light, and then even he was a morning stame: but now I may say with the Prophet, Is. 14.12. verf. 13 How art thou fallen from heaven, o Lutifier, son of the morning. How art thou cut dowme to the ground which saidst in thine heart, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God This star, I hope, he will not suffer to deceive me, with his false, and deluding light: for his glaring is but a counterfeit light, and his leading tends to the burning brimstone. No; he will give me a better star; even him who came to be a light to lighten the Gentiles, Lu. 2.32. and to be the glory of the people Israel: even the Prophet of the highest, C. 1.76 Vers. 79 who giveth light to them that s●tt in darkness, and in the shadow of death. And who is that, but he which professeth himself to be the root, Reu. 22 16. and the offspring of David; and the bright, and the morning star. He himself hath showed me what I should do: he hath taught me by his own example, what duties I should perform: for I find it recorded of him, that In the morning, Mar. 1.35. rising up early, a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and prayed. So should I do too: I should do so now; for it is now about the same time; or, at most, it differeth not much. I will therefore arise, I will arise out of my sins; by his blessing I will arise out of them before day; even before the day of the Lord cometh; 2. Pet. 3 10. and I will go out of them, or force them out of me. I will departed from them into a solitary place, and retire to my meditations; and be both solitary, and sorrowful for all the offences which I have committed: and then I will pray; I will pray for forgiveness, through the merits of him, who prayed so early. Or, if I am too weak to master myself in this holy resolution, I will besiech him, that I may be as Simon, Mar: 1.36. and those that were with him; that I may, at leastwise, follow after him. Surely he can so illuminate my thoughts, that I may see thereby to perform my duty. It was that morning star which enlightened David, and made him take up that holy resolution, Ps: 5.3. saying, My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, o Lord: in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will lock up. It was he who enlightened him to put in practice that very resolution: for he himself testifieth of himself, Ps: 130.6. saying, My soul waiteth for the Lord; more than they that watch for the morning; I say, more than they that watch for the morning. It was that morning star, which enlightened the people, Luc: 21 ●8. that they might all see to come to him early into the temple, to hear him. Ps: 119 147. It was that morning star again, which enlightened David, when he prevented the dawning of the morning, and cried; when he hoped in his word. It was that morning star which gave light unto joshua and the people, Ios. 6.15. vers. 20 when they compassed jericho on the seaventh day, early, about the dawning of the day seven times; after which, the wall fell down flat, so that the people went up into the city, every one straight before him, and took the city. So will I wait for him: so will I prevent the dawning of the morning: so will I direct my prayer unto him: so will I hear him in his temple: and so will I encompass jericho, about the dawning of the day; the city of Satan, the strong hold of the Serpent; even mine own ●icked, and corrupted heart, which hath so ●ong stood out against my God: and I will never leave compassing it with my tears, and my sighs, and my pensive and sorrowful thoughts, until the wall fall down; until the stony rampard thereof yield unto the commandments of my Lord, and my maker. But (on the contrary) certainly that morning star did not give light to the company which were in the ship with Saint Paul in the tempest, when he was bound towards Rome: for they, Act: 27 29. fearing lest they should have fallen upon rocks, cast four anchors out of the stern and wished for the day. True it is, that every one in a storm will wish for Christ, this morning star: and ready they are to take their astro-labe, that so they may observe the height, and the distance of him: but yet are they apt to leave him in the tempest; and to trust to their own cables, and anchors, which they cast out at the sternes of their ship; never considering the depth of the seas, & the foulness of the anchorrage. Every Christian, even the most skilful mariner, is apt to run a shore upon the world; or to fall upon the leadges, and rocks of trouble, and temptation: but who ancoor's his hopes in Christ? Who fasteneth the flooke of his anchor in the wounds of the Crucified? Lord give me such a faith in thee, that I may not believe in thee waveringly, or hope in thee weakly, or wish for thee faintly: but that I may at all times, and upon all occasions put my whole trust, and confidence in thee; Ps: 42.1 and say, with David, As the Hart panteth after the water-brookes; so panteth my soul after thee, o God. Surely that morning star did not give light to churlish Nabal, 1. Sam. 25.37. when, in the morning, after the wine was gone out of him, and his wife told him all that was done, his heart died within him, and he became as a stone. Alas, every Nabel, every worldling can be jocund, and pleasant while they surfeit upon the vain pleasures of this transitory world: they can be merry, and drunken, very drunken with the bewitching cup: and all the while, they are such sons of Belial, vers. 17 that a man cannot speak to them: But if once, either by poverty, sickness, or any other calamity they are awaked, and their Abigails, their consciences tell them that the most mighty hath girded his sword upon his thigh, Ps. 45.3 with glory and majesty, and is resolved to destroy them; then, like unto Nabal, even their very hearts die within them, and are even as stones, for want of the comfort, and light of his morning star. These are they who in the morning say, Deut: 28.67. would God it were evening! and at even they say, Would God it were morning, for the fear of their hearts wherewith they fear, and for the sight of their eyes which, then, they see; job: 24.17. for the morning is to them even as the ●shadow of death: if one know them, they are in the terrors of the shadow of death. Therefore will I besiech that bright morning star, Amos. 5.8. that he will arise in my heart, that I may seek him that maketh the seven stars, and Orion, and turneth the shadow of death into the morning, and maketh the day dark with night; the Lord is his name. This is the time, Iud: 16.2. when the Philistines thought to have killed Samson, after they had compassed him in, and laid wait for him all night in the gate of the city of Gaza, and were silent all the night. Lord, if at any time I sleep, if I sleep in my sins (which do thou ever prevent, as thou dost forbid it) how contented is Satan to let me rest! How silent he is, and will not disturb me! But he sitteth in the gate, and watcheth; and if at any time I be awaked by my God, how does he labour to destroy me presently, with suggestions to despair or presumption. This is the time, when Moses was commanded by God to carry the two new tables of stone up to the Mount: Ex: 34.2. for God said unto him, Be ready in the morning, and come up in the morning unto mount Sinai; and present thyself there to me, in the top of the mount. Why may not this in some kind seem to be spoken by God to me too? For I have one table at least, and I fear that it is stone too: but it is in his power to make it the fleshly table of my heart. 2. Cor. 3.3. O that he would call me! O that he would draw me up unto him, to the top of the mount, Hos. 11.4. with the bands of love; and that he would do it now, this morning; like as twice in one morning he put Moses in mind of the two tables! O that he would write his law in this table of my heart, even with his own finger, that I might not sinne against him! This is the time when the Angels hastened Lot to go out of Sodom. Gen. 19 15. It was, when the morning arose, that they said unto him; Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters which are here lest thou he consumed in the iniquity of the city. The blackness of the crimes of those lustful citizens, eclipsed the Sun: yet lest they should hope that their impieties could dazzle the eyes of the all-seeing God, they had a light from heaven to discover his wrath. The sins of the people were retrograde to nature; and their just punishment proceeded therefore from causes not rendered by the practice of nature. The light body of the consuming fire was seen to descend; and the sulphurous flames which might have been conceived to arise from the troubled bowels of the earth, or from the land of darkness, descended in a stormy gust from heaven. A mixed fire and stink conlumed the transgressors: yet was not the choking smell of the burning sulphur so offensive and loathsome, as the stench of their wickedness. Thus the fire of their uncleanness was revenged by the fire of tormenting brimstone: and just it was that the messengers of vengeance should discharge their office, whom the lewd people would not receive without a lustful attempt of their fowl desires. Their punishment for their crimes began even in their offences; for it was no small severity to suffer them to continue in their violation of nature. Yet here it stayed not: for they lost their sight because they saw not their faults: and at even they wearied themselves to find the door of that righteous man, vers. 11 being stricken with blindness by those ministers of revenge. vers. 23 This dark evening was yet but a presage of a gloomy morning: for the vengeance fell when the Sun arose: and those horrid flashes of a blue and dazzling light, served only to lend them a sight of their scorched neighbours, and so to increase, and heighten their torments. Assuredly, if I well consider it, I am not unlike to that Lot who was saved: for with the Sodomites I live; I am neighboured by the wicked. O but am I just, with Lot; and, with him, 2. Pet. 2 7. am I vexed with their unclean, their filthy conversation? O that I might so resemble Lot, that I could avoid the corruption of those, whose society I cannot shun! Alas, alas, I am yet in every thing unlike unto him: for I sin; I have a proneness to sin with the Sodomites; yea and by nature I am as apt to give, as to follow an example; sometimes as ready to teach others how to offend, as sometimes to follow, and imitate their offences. But o I wish, I earnestly beg, I humbly besiech my merciful Lord to send his Angels, even this very morning, to bring me out of the sins, and the society of the Sodomites. This is the time when the Angel of the Covenant said unto jacob, Gen. 32 26. after the wrestling, Let me go, for the day breaketh: But Lacob answered, and said I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. Howsoever, me thinks, I should be like unto jacob: and, if I have neglected wrestling this night with the Angel, yet now I should begin. I should wrestle, and tug, and strive, and hold fast by faith in my prayers, and my tears too, as jacob did; and not suffer him to go until he hath blessed me. The Prophet assureth me, Hos. 12 4. that he had power over the Angel, and prevailed: he wept, and made supplication to him. O so must I too; so will I too. But how can I possibly either be a prince; or especially such a prince as Israel was; who, as a prince had power with God, Gen. 32 28. and with men; and he prevailed, and was blessed? Well; 'tis so; I am resolved upon it; 'tis the right way. I will pray, and weep; and weep, and pray. I will beg with my tears; and I will beg with my tongue; and I will beg with all my heart. I will strive, and pray, and mourn, and ●ry. It shall be a cloudy morning: it shall be a thick, muddy lowering morning. Me thinks I begin to feel a cloud even break already at mine eyes. O come forth, come forth a whole cloud of tears. Knit yourselves into blackness; and thickness. Be fruitful; be pregnant: and when your time is come, be ye delivered in mine eyes. I am not yet risen: come quickly, and I myself will bring you to bed. 'Tis good, 'tis wholesome even thus to wash my sinful eyes betimes in a morning. It is not fire, nor air that is predominant in the eyes; but only water. Surely then I will weep, that I may see the clearer, the better; not outwardly, but inwardly; not to look downwards, but upwards, toward this blessing Angel. Ps. 6.7. Mine eye, with David's shall be consumed, because of grief and then, I doubt not, but, I shall conclude with his joy, and truly say, vers. 8. The Lord hath heard the voice of my weeping. The second part Of the soliloquy. Fitted for one that is newly arisen. Farewell that bed of ease, which would have betrayed me both to sloth, and poverty. Farewell to those curtains, devised to obscure the morning's light. See, see, how that bewitching nest doth yet retain the print of my body; as if it longed to entice me again to my sloth; and wooed me to make it the sepulchre of my living self. I am now up: and thanks let me render to him that hath delivered me once again to the light of a morning. Gen. 1.5 He. that called the darkness Night, the light he also styled Day. He promised Noah when he came out of the Ark, c: 8.22. that While the earth remaineth, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, Day and Night shall not cease. This his promise he keep's, Ps. 19.1 for The heavens declare the glory of God; vers. 2. and the firmament showeth his handy work. Day unto Day uttereth speech; & Night unto night showeth knowledge. Yea, he is so sure in the performance of whatsoëver he promiseth to his chosen servants, that he sendeth a challenge to the world, jer. 33.20. and saith, Thus saith the Lord, If ye can break my covenant of the Day, and my covenant of the Night, and that there shall not be ●ay and Night in their season. vers. 2●. Then may also 〈◊〉 covenant be broke with David. Surely the ●e we cannot, and as surely the other he ●ill not do. job. 41.18. Now the eyelids of the morning ●e open; and what can that teach me, but 〈◊〉 open mine eyes, that I may see the good●esse of the Lord, in the clearness of the ●…y? Me thinks it instructs me to say ●ith David It is a good thing to give thanks ●…to the Lord; Ps 92.1 and to sing praises unto thy name, 〈◊〉 most high: vers. 2. To show forth thy loving kindness 〈◊〉 the morning; and thy saithfullnesse every ●ight. I will therefore follow the advice of ●he same Prophet, & will Sing unto the Lord, ●nd bless his name: Ps. 96.2 I will show forth his salva●on from day to day. Yea, Ps. 59.16. I will sing of thy ●ower, o my God; I will sing aloud of thy mercy ●n the morning; for thou hast been my defence. His power I see, in the performance of his covenant: his mercy I see in bringing me to the light. O how the pretty Choristours of the woods do sing their anthems; and in their musical notes warble out the praises of the Creator of the morn! How the Eastern Sun does gild the mountains with his radiant lustre; and climbs by degrees higher into the heavens, that it may with more direct beams both warm, and enlighten me! Me thinks I am chidd by the choir in the air, for my tardy thanksgiving: and the Sun would flinke behind a shadowing cloud, as unwilling to give light to one that hastens not to a celestial rise. Thus I behold the Sun arisen from the earth; and surely me thinks, I should even outvie it both in motion, and place: and faster should I climb, & higher should I rise; even to the seat of blessed Eternity. But, woe is me, I have too much earth about me; and the air is too thin to bear up my body. Had I wings like the Eagle, I would attempt my desires: but no means is allotted to a corporal ascent. Yet, though my body be forbid to enter those palaces, until it shall be glorified at the great restauration: my soul may be admitted, so soon as ever it shall be freed from this tabernacle of flesh. Yea and my thoughts may presently, at this very instant mount up to my God, so they be clean, and pure: and in an humble reverence I may discourse with my Creator. It is my duty, thus to do: and it shall be my care to observe so royal a command. O how good is my God unto me, making me a sharer of his terrestrial blessings! But o how fare doth he exceed the measure of this bounty, in giving me the means to be partaker of heaven! Some thing I see, when up-ward I look: and something there is, which I long to possess: but 'tis not that Crystal shell that bound's, my sight, which I so count: nor is it that Sun, whose bright rays and powerful influences do cherish my body, which I long for. No: 'tis the heaven of heavens which I desire; Mal. 4.2. 'tis the Sun of righteousness which I long to behold. This Sun which is so great in comparison with the earth, is not to be named in comparison with him. This poor, little, blushing Sun (though now it pride's itself in its triumphant rays) shall at his appearing (yea before his appearing, even as a harbinger to prepare for his coming) be mantled in mourning: Act. 2.20. it shall be turned into darkness, and the Moon into blood, before that great, and notable day of the Lord come. And yet, till then, God hath appointed this great Light (great to us) the Sun to rule the day, Ps. 136.8.9. as well as the Moon and the Stars to govern the night; for his mercy endureth for ever. Even in this I see his mercy, that by the light thereof the eyes of my body have the use of their faculties; and can present their objects to my better part; which may, in her conternplations, admire always the mercies of God. If any man walk in the day (saith my Saviour) he stumbleth not, Io. 11.9 because he seethe the light of this world: vers. 10 But if a man waike in the night he stumbleth, because there is no light in him. Yet (now I think of it) there are some assuredly, who walk in the day, and yet they stumble: yea, they contrive a way, how they may learn to stumble; & therefore that wine which should comfort the heart, is purposely received to disturb the brain. Thus the superior guide is mistied in a fog lest it should direct the feet in the carriage of the body. Is. 5.11 Such are they against whom the Prophet pronounceth that Woe, saying, Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning, that they may follow strong drink; that continue until night, till wine inflame them. This is contrary to the custom of those in Saint Paul's time: for he saith, 1. Thes. 5.7. They that sleep, sleep in the night; and they that are drunken, are drunken in the night. But it is not so now: for wickedness in our times hath assumed more impudency: & that vice which formerly was deemed so shameful, that the very wine itself enforced the sinner to some modesty in a blush; even now by continuance, is accounted but society and to palliate the crime, the colour of the offendor borroweth an excuse from the custom of inflammation. Thus is nature constrained to plead for wickedness: & the corruption of the liver through immoderate drinking, (which discovereth itself in the stains of the countenance) is no longer abhorred as an effect of vice, but rather 'tis pitied as an infirmity of the person. The gray-eyed morning looks upon my body; and teacheth me to view my hidden self, my inner man. This is a duty prescribed by religion; and 'tis a law of justice, that before I walk abroad to behold my neighbours, I first do pry into the dress of myself. The Almighty quesstion's Ephraim and judah by the mouth of his prophet, saying, Hos. 6.4. O Ephraim what shall I do unto thee? O judah what shall I do unto thee? For your goodness is as a morning cloud; and as the early dew, it goeth away. This cloud, and this dew do aptly resemble the goodness of hypocrities. The cloud passeth; the dew drye's up. Oh thus do my promises, and vows unto God Thus do my better actions, where in I glory: Suddenly, presently do they vanish, and disperse. If I look upon the sky, I view the mirror of my present thoughts: for though for a time I meditate on God, yet an empty cloud which rideth post, and fleeth a way upon the wings of the wind, Ps. 18.10. is not so speedy as are these pensive, and divine contemplations. If I blush when I see the short continuance of these heavenly thoughts, discovered in the speedy journey of a cloud; with a dejected countenance let me look upon the ground. Oh here again I find the reflection of my short devotions. These private cogitations which tend to religion, are but like to the pearlie dew that hang's on the grass: prompt and ready to dry, and vanish. Those very tufts of grass, those leaves of the trees, seem to lament the short continuance of my religious exercises: as if they had spent the silent night in anguish, and sorrow, for fear lest my doom should be to a place below their abode. The flowers have wept all night in their beds; and the chillowed herbs have drooped in the dark; and all of them together besiech me with tears, that my goodness may not resemble the jewels they wear. Those pearls shall dissolve; those tears shall be dried at the appearance of the Sun: even so soon as he shall visit them with the warmth of his beams. Thus, thus though I mourn in secret for my sins; yet so soon as I am warmed with the vain delights of the enticing world, I am apt presently to forget the bitterness of my sorrows: and to sin afresh, lest I should not have cause to lament again. Lord I wish yet that I had but such, and so many tears for my sinful self, as the tresses of the earth do seem to mourn out for me. Such, o such, or none, I desire to have. None other will comply with my wishes. They must be exhaled from the earth, even the earth of my heart, by the Sun of righteousness. Thus they must rise, that thus they may fall. And when they are thus risen and when they are thus fallen, then shall they be dried by the comfortable rays of that Sun of righteousness, shining in my ●eart. My sighs, and my groans which ● dispatch for my sinews, shall ascend like ●apours up to my brain; and by the secret in●uences of him that enlightens me, they shall have time allotted them to unite together; and then shall they fall in a dew on nine eyes. Now is the time that I thus should ●eepe: now is the time I should thus lament: for my sins must be purged with my mor●ing tears. My yester-day's follies, my last●ight's fantasies, & this morning's thoughts, which saluted my earthly vanities before I ●owed to my God) even all advise me to hie ●…y self, and retire speedily into my private closet; there to wash, and rub, and cleanse my soul in the cistern of my tears; and never leave rinsing, till the stains are fetched out. But, is this the task of a morning? shall I not be utterly unapt for the works of my vocation, when I have swelled mine eyes with the briny drops? O Noah: the air is clearest, & brightest, when storms are blown over: and content of mind, and quiet thoughts will follow upon my mourning. Besides; there's nothing in the world that drieth sooner than tears; for many times they are slunk in a moment into the dimple of a smile. Nay more: rather than I shall grieve too much; or then my lawful affairs shall be hindered by my tears; I am sure that the tender hand of my compassionate redeemer will wipe mine eyes. These, o these are the incense which I must offer unto him. He first must smell the sweetness of a savour arising from them, before he'll be so propitious, as to send down his benediction. Wicked, and profane Esau could sieke the blessing with tears: Heb. 12 16. vers. 17 vers. 16 and shall not I go farther in my weeping then he who for one morsel of meat had sold his birthright? Yes, I must; I will: for what can I do this day in hope of a blessing, if I do not first appease my God, who is angry for my sins? The swallows which usually sport in the air, and strive for a kind of superiority in the height of their flying; are yet contented to humble themselves; and draw near to the earth in their prediction of a storm. My thoughts, like the birds, have sported themselves in the airy fant'sies of sin, and impiety: but now they shall stoop, and humbly they shall fly; and foretell to mine eyes the storm that's arising. It was the duty of Aaron every morning to burn sweet incense upon the altar of intense: Ex. 30.7. When he dressed the lamps, he was to burn incense upon it. What was that incense, but a gum? And what was that frank, that free incense, but the tears of a tree? What is myrrh, but an Arabian drop? What is frankincense, but the tears which twice every year do fall from the Arabian; and Sabae'an trees? If that gum be nothing but the tears of the plants, what other are our tears, than the gum of ourselves? Well then; I will be the Aaron; mine eyes shall be the Lamps, which first I will dress; mine heart shall be the Altar, dedicated wholly to the service of my God. This morning is the time appointed to burn sweet incense on the altar. My tears therefore of contrition, the gum which distils from my sorrowful eyes, shall be the incense; my heart the altar; my zeal the fire; and my sighs and groans shall ascend like the smoke, the sweetest perfume, delightful in the nostrils of my glorious maker. Lord make thou mine offering acceptable to thyself through the merits of thy Son: and when thou smellest the savour, then send me thy blessing. Or if my sighs and tears cannot prevail, they shall be accompanied with my petitions; and my heart, and eyes, and hands, and tongue shall join together in a friendly consent, and so shall they tender my supplication to the Lord of bounty. This was David's custom: Ps. 88.13. unto thee (says he) have I cried, o Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee. Lord give me such a sense of my sins, now I meditate both on their number, and their punishment; that I may hearty grieve for them: and with my tears likewise let my tongue accord; for I must not only be chastened every morning with the sacrifice of mine eyes; Ps. 73.14. but I must also with my prayer prevent my God. This therefore I will presently perform with bended knees, and yerning bowels, and an oppressed heart; and praying I will say. The Morning Prayer. O Sun of righteousness, Mal. 4.2. Ps. 110.3. glorious God, thou who hadst the dew of thy birth from the womb, from the essence of thy father, before the early morning of the world's creation; have thou respect unto the prayers, 1. King 8.28. and tears of thy servant. O harken unto the cry, and to the prayer which thy servant prayeth before thee this morning. My sins (I must needs confess) are many, and black; and mine ignorance of them is thicker by fare, Ex. 10.21. than the Egyptian darkness, I feel their weight in the fierceness of thy wrath; and the burden of them in the heaviness of my soul: o whither shall I fly for redress, and comfort? From thee I cannot go, and yet to thee I dare not come, because thou art so highly, and so justly displeased. But Lord, since thou art every where, come down into my heart; and since it is thy property to forgive the penitent; be reconciled unto me, who mourn by reason of thy displeasure. O be grations unto me, in the tender bowels of thy wont compassion: and ease me of my sins, by the sufferances of thy Son. Ps: 5.8. Ps: 25.5 Lead ●ee this day in thy righteousness; lead me in ●hy truth, and teach me; for thou art the God of ●y salvation: Ps: 5.8. Ps: 65.8. make thy way straight before my ●ace. O thou that makest the out-goeings of the morning, and evening to rejoice; Neh: 1.6. let thine ear be attentive, and thine eyes open, that thou mayst behold my sorrows for my grievous offences; and harken to my desires of pardon, and remission. In thy heavenly jerusalem, Reu: 21 25. o my glorious God, there is no night at all; nor are the gates thereof shut at all by day. At those gates o Christ, I lie: at the gate of thy mercy I knock, o jesus. Hear Lord, and hare mercy; Ps: 30.10. Lord be thou my helper. Preserve me from sin, this ensueing day; and let the light of thy grace shine so cheerly in my heart, that all my thoughts, and words, and actions may be wholly bend to glorify thy name. Lam: 3. 2●. It was thy mercy that I was not consumed this night; and, for my sins, delivered over to the tormentor, to be punished. Thy compassions fail not: they are new every morning; vers: 2●. and great is thy faithfulness. O make thou me to feel thy loving kindnesses this morning more & more, for in thee do I trast: Ps: 143.8. cause thou me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto the●. Suffer me not this day either to accompanse, or to imitate the ungodly, Ps: 90.6 whose righteousness in the morning flourisheth, and groweth up: but in the evening is ●…t down, and withered: But make me to walk, and continue in the path of the just, which is as the shining light, Prov: 4 18. that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. Take me this day, and all that thou hast blessed me with, into thy gracious protection. Let not the violent oppress me, nor the deceavers delude me, nor the enemy of mankind ensnare me, Ps: 89. 2●. Ps: 1.3. Ps: 37.5 nor the son of wickedness afflict me: and grant that whatsoever I do it may prosper. Unto thee, Lord, do I commit my way: in thee do I trust: do thou bring my desires to pass. vers: 6. Bring forth my righteousness as the light; and my just dealing as the noon day. Make me fruitful this day in every good word and work; Col: 1.10. Is. 58.10. that I may draw out my soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; and perform all the christian duties which thou commandest; that so my light may rise in obscurity; and my darkness be as the noon day. Hear me, o Lord, and grant these my peritions; and whatsoever else shall be necessary for me; and that for the worthiness of him who is the morning start, even jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour: in whose name, and words I father call upon thee saying. Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13. Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name: thy kingdom come: thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven: give us this day our daily bread: and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us: and lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil: for thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever, and ever. Amen. part 3 The third part Of the soliloquy. Fitted for one, preparing to go to dinner. When Daniel the Prophet was made chief of the Precedents, and Princes of the Kingdom of Darius; the rest burning with fury at this his preferment, sought (says the text) an occasion against him: Dan: 6.4. but none they could find; for he was faithful; neither was there any error, or fault found in him. Prov: 3.15. At length (to magnify the King above him by whom alone King's reign) for the effecting of their purposes, they quarrelled with his religion; and conceived that their unjust designs of debasing the Precedent, were no ways to be wrought, but by dishonouring his God. But when those envious parasites pretended highly to magnify the sceptre; they did indeed but labour the satisfaction of their envy. Dan: 6. vers: 9 vers: 7. Howsoëver at length it was concluded, and the decree was signed in writing, that, Whosoever should ask a petition of any God, or man, for thirty days, save only of Darius; he was to be cast into the den of Lions. vers: 10 Daniel knew that the decree was signed: yet he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber towards jerusalem he kneeled upon his knees three times a day, and praised, and gave thanks before his God, as he did afore time. Here was a worthy resolution; and as religious a performance. Neither the envy of his adversaries; nor the displeasure of his Sovereign, nor the greediness of the Lions could stop his proceed; or hinder his devotions. Deut: 5 29. Oh that there were such a heart in me too, that I would fear the Lord; and keep his commandments always; that it might be well with me for ever! But, alas, to my shame, and grief I see, that I can scarce once in a day find in my heart to praise my God: and if twice, or thrice I attempt to fit, and compose myself to my holy devotions, I presently repel those righteous motions, as if it were unnecessary whatsoëver is irksome. But why should I not consider how slack I am in my petitions, even by the abundance of things which I truly want? Why should I not pray by precept; or, at least, by precedent? It was David's resolution, Ps: 55.17. Evening and morning and at noonday will I pray, and cry aloud; & he shall hear my voice. And his practice exceeds his promise: for his own words are, Seven times a day do I praise thee, Ps: 11● 164. because of ●y righteous judgements. Yea, he goes a little ●rther yet, and crye's out, vers: 97 O how I love thy ●we! It is my meditation all the day. He ●uld not choose but meditate on his law all ●e day long, Ps: 25.5 on whom he did wait all the ●…y long. Thus he meditated; he meditated 〈◊〉 day; a whole day: and yet not one whole ●ay only: for he passeth his promise to the Almighty, saying, Ps: 145 2. Every day will I bless ●hee; and I will praise thy name for ever, and ●ver. Thus should I do as David did: I ●hould bless the Lord, and I should praise ●he Lord: yea I will bless him, and I will ●raise him for all his mercies; and particularly for preserving me to the middle of this day. But is this time so fitting, & convenient, that now especially I should settle to my meditations? Yes doubtless: at this very instant I have more arguments to persuade me to devotion, then at many other hours, and seasons of the day. Now my hungry appetite putteth me in mind of the ravens which he feedeth, when thy call upon him. Ps. 147.9. Now I discover a most ample testimony of his protection, and providence: Ps. 107.9. for now he satisfieth the empty soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Longer, me thinks, I cannot stay from my meat; for my empty belly calls for a repast. Lord, how frail are we mortals; that we cannot live one day without the satisfaction of our stomaches: Mat: 6.11. Phil: 4.19. which made our Saviour teach us to pray, Give us this day our daily bread! Well: God is so good, as to supply all our wants: but how does he supply them? Alas, the poor inferior creatures are faint to pay the tribute of their lives for the satisfaction of our hunger. Our plentiful tables do commonly speak blood in every dish, The beasts, and the fowls, and the fishes do seem to contend for precedency in their service to our wanton appetites. And yet (if I consider of it) what offence that the Lamb, or the Sheep, or the Calf, or the Ox, or the Dove, or the Salmon committed, that they lose their lives for the preservation of ours? Those do obey the commands of their Creator, even unto death: and by their ready submission to man's desires, observe the law which was first prescribed them. But why do they so; seeing man, by his fall, did lose the prerogative of sovereignty over the creatures? He did so indeed: yet those creatures not willing to insult over their sinful Lord, especially seeing the charter was renewed afterwards to Noah, Gen: 9.2.3. continue their submission to his will, and command. In all this, how can I choose but magnify my God; & desire him to bless the creatures unto me, for the sustenance of my body; that I may only live to honour him, who is the giver of all? Now again, above other times, should I think on my ●od; and desire him, in mercy, to be gra●ous unto me: for at this time of the day ●ee would not visit our first, and sinful pa●…nts. It is now about the middle, and heat of ●e day. The Sun is hastening to the highest ●oint in the Meridian; & with beams direct ●eepe's through the crevices into our private ●…osets: Gen: 3.8. but it was in the cool of the day when Adam and Eve did hear the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden: and presently did ●ide themselves from the presence of him, amongst ●he trees of the garden. O, though 'twas in the ●oole of the day when God was heard, yet was ●t in the heat of his anger: for the sin of the transgressors provoked him to wrath. But what though in Eden he was not heard, but ●n the cool of the day? Gen: 18.1. I am sure that he appeared to Abraham in the heat of the day, a●●hee sat in the tent door, in the plains of Mamere. And so he doth to me now too, inwardly, by his Spirit; if I find his grace working in my soul a desire of his glory. I will therefore besiech him, now, while he is with me, Ps: 42.8 Ps: 22.2 to command his loving kindness in this day time to visit me; that so I may not justly complain with David, O my God, I cry in the day time, and thou hearest not: but rather that I may hear a Phinehas saying unto me, as once he did to the children of Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh: This day we perceive, Ios: 22.31. that the Lord is among us. Alas poor jacob; how did he endure the sweat, and the burning of this time of the day? Gen: 31.40. In the day the drought consumed him; and the frost in the night; and his sleep departed from him. Assuredly in those fourteen years which he spent in the service of Laban, for his two wives; and in those six years which he served for the flocks, and the cattles; he could not choose but lose a whole river of sweat, that dropped from his face. Lord, how should every drop of sweat that falls from my brows, put me in mind of the fall of Adam, which produced this punishment! Gen: 3.19. Yea, how should my tears too, outvie my sweat, when I consider the number of my fowl transgressions! They, oh they, have so increased within me, that they enforce the sweat to fly to my face; and in this heat of the day, to tell me of a punishment in the flames of the damned. But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage; Ex: 13.3. and Moses commanded the people, saying, Remember this day. And what day of my life hath not been to me a day of deliverance? So many diseases, and accidents assail the body; so many discontents the mind; so many casualties, and chances the estate; yea and (which is worst of all) so many sins the soul; that if I should attempt but once to number them, I could not easily determine where to begin. Lord make me this day remember thy deliverances in a grateful manner; and magnify thee for thy mercies. There will be a day too; a day of death: but when it shall come, God only knoweth. This (for aught I know) may prove the day. Old Ifaak told his son Esau; saying, Gen: 27.2. Behold now I am old; I know not the day of my death. Neither indeed do I know mine. What know I to the contrary, but that anon at the table I may entertain my death in a dish, or a cup? Lord make me always provided for thee; and then at all times thou art welcome to me. But how shall I be sure to have my petition granted; and that God will afford me such mercy, as to save me? I read of a day that was threatened to the jews; even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerors. This the Lord foretold unto them, when he said, joel: 2.1. Blow ye the trumpet in Zion; and sound an alarm in my holy mountain: Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble; for the day of the Lord cometh; for it is nigh at hand. A day of darkness, vers. 2. and of gloominess: a day of clouds, and of thick darkness; as the morning spread upon the mountains. Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies; and their miseries to increase by the fury of their tormentors. My death may be nearer hastening unto me, than was the destruction of the jews at the time of the prophecy: and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure myself. God is not confined to time, or means, otherwise than he hath decreed himself. This very day may happen to be mine; and another day may be appointed for another. Yea and my day too may prove a day of horror: for, wicked I am; and I read what is spoken by the mouth of job: job: 21.30. The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction: they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath. I, poor I, am one of the wicked; and have deserved the greatest, & severest judgements from the hand of the revenger. O if this day should prove so terrible, instead of pampering my body, with delightful food, I might cry out with the Prophet, Cursed be the day wherein I was borne: jor: 20.14. let not the day wherein my mother bore me, be blessed. But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer. Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him, if I do not express some mercy to myself. The chiefest act of mercy to myself, consisteth in a serious afflicting, and tormenting of myself for my sins which would ruin me. With my tears I must therefore wash away my sins: I must purge them with my tears. I must cure the sins of mine eyes with the tears of mine eyes. And yet, since my tears are not free from pollution; even those must be purified, and made effectual by the blood of the Lamb. The stomach is commonly prepared for meat, by the blood of the grape. Therefore before I will go to my food, I will prepare myself with a glass of wine: but that wine shall be high, and excellent: it shall be the wine of Angels. It shall have the savour of life in it: it shall have the race of mercy in it; the sweetness of reconciliation; & the heat of grace. This wine shall be my tears: a lean, sour, eager wine, of itself: but it shall be sugared by the hand of my Redeemer: it shall be deep drawn, and well dashed with the blood of the innocent. This is such as the Angel's delight in. This wine shall prove an excellent restorative: it shall be even like blood; yea it shall be blood itself; even the blood of my drooping, my wounded, and my dejected soul. This will exceed all the Frontiniak, or the Greek, or the Palerma wines: for the grapes thereof do not grow upon the smooth, and twisting branches of common vines: but they grow, like the rose, upon a thorny bough; and yield whole clusters of joy, and content. This wine hath such an inbred virtue in it, that it giveth courage to the drinker: and that good effect, I seriously hope, it shall work in me. For I must fight, though I am but a woman. I must fight, and war, and combat with mine enemies, with my corruptions. Ios: 10.13. I trust that he who made the Sun stand still in the midst of heaven, that it hasted not to go down about a whole day, when the five Kings fought against Gibeon; and all this only at the prayer of joshua: even he will assist me in this holy war, that I may destroy the Kings, the greatest, the heads of my sins; make them fly, and hid themselves in a cave, as those enemies of Israel in the cave of Mackedah. And if it so fall out that they take up their cave in the hollowness of of my heart, (their wont place to hid themselves,) I will either drown them up with sorrow; or smother them with my groans; or fire them with my Zeal, Or if none of these will effect my desires, even as joshua did to those Kings, so will I to these: I will open the mouth of the cave in my heart, and bring out these Kings, by a true confession: yea, I will set my feet upon the very necks of them, in a serious contempt: and then will I smite them, and slay them, and hang them up, in a holy revenge; because they would have destroyed my soul, for which my Saviour suffered on the cross. This, o this, is the way to prevail with my jesus, to say unto me, as he did to Zacheus, Luc: 19 9 Ps: 56.4 Is: 49.8 This day is salvation come to this house. So shall I with comfort, and thanksgiving acknowledge, that Now is the accepted time; now is the day of salvation. Thus I shall not fear what flesh can do unto me, no devils, nor the world nor any thing else that seeketh my destruction. Ps: 12●. 6. Rom. 8 28. The Sun shall not smite me by day, nor the Moon by night; but all things shall work together for good, if I thus love God, and be called according to his purpose. And now, me thinks, this storm of tears, hath produced a calm of content, and peace. I am now ready for my dinner. But stay a while. What all for the body? Nothing for the soul? Shall I pamper the flesh, and starve the spirit? This will not be a feast, but a fast: and instead of satisfaction, I shall rise with disturbance. Act: 17 11. I read that the Bereans are styled more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind; and searched the Scriptures daily, whether those things were so. More noble? There's a title of honour. O that I might gain such a Berean nobility, that all mine honour might be in searching the Scriptures; the word of him, who is the fountain of honour! Every thing is sanctified by the word of God, 1. Tim. 4.5. & prayer. Common civility teacheth me to pray for a blessing on the creatures. But I must yet go farther; and pray with the heart, as well as the lips; & then read with reverence, Iam: 1.21. and receive with meekness the engrafted Word, which is able to save my soul. Grant, blessed God, that my first, and best care may be for the nourishment, and preservation of my soul: and next to that, Col: 4.6. the sustenance of my body. And to this purpose, let my discourse at my meat be gracious, seasoned with salt; that I may know how I ought to answer every man. And because thou hast commanded me to use thy creatures for the preservation of my body; Lord grant me a moderate appetite to my meat; and give virtue to the meat, that it may be fire for my nourishment. Make it good, and wholesome for me; and me obedient, and serviceable unto thee. Let me eat with moderation, content, and thanks giving; always observing the rule of Saint Paul, 1. Cor. 10.31. that whether I eat, or drink, or whatsoever I do, I may do all to the glory of thee my God. subject 6 THE SIXTH SUBjECT. Tears of compassion, in the time of prosperity. The soliloquy treating of, The vanity of earthly riches, and the reward of Charity. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe Apostle commands us to Bear one another's burdens; Gal: 6.2 and so to fulfil the law of Christ. This law is Charity, and friendly affection; which differeth from the law in the former Testament, because that was a law of fear, but this of love. This law my Redeemer gave as a cognizance unto his disciples, saying, Io: 13.35. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples; if ye love one another. This he prescribed as a rule, vers. 34 when he said, A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. And this he commended to our imitation, even by the example of himself: for what the Prophet foretold, Ps: 53.4 and said, Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; even the very same his Apostle assures us he fulfiled, 1. Pet: 2 24. who his own self bore our sins, in his own body, on the tree. This law of love, which we own to our brethren, is expressed chiefly in our giving, and forgiving. We must bear with their infirmities, Rom: 12.15. and forgive their offences. We must rejoice with them that rejoice; and weep with them that weep: being of the same mind one towards another. vers. 16 We must rejoice both with them, and for them: but this joy must arise from their good, not their hurt. Prov: 2.14. There are some (says Solomon) who rejoice to do evil. This proceede's not from love, but hatred; for the Apostle tell's me that Charity rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth. 1. Cor: 13.6. Our mirth must join in concord with the joyful: and our rejoicing must be grounded on the good of our neighbours. And as we must have joy at their prosperity; so must we likewise accord with them in their sorrows: for our very tears may be the ground of comfort unto mourners, when by these we discover the truth of our affection; and our readiness to share in the burden of their afflictions. Such a disciple as Christ delight's in, we may certainly believe Saint Paul to have been: for we find him rejoicing with the Philipians, Phil: 2.17. when he saith, If I be offered upon the sacrifice, and service of your faith, I joy and rejoice with you all: For the same cause also do ye joy, vers: 18 and rejoice with me. And again, we find him grieving for the jews: Rom: ● 2. for he hath great heaviness, and continual sorrow in his heart for them. Unto the jews, he became as a jew: 1. Cor: 9.20. to them that were under the law, as under the law: to them that were without law, as without law: vers: 21 to the weak he became as weak: vers: 22 2. Cor: 11.29. and he was made all things to all men. Who was weak, & he was not weak? Who was offended, and he burned not? The fire of his compassion gave light to his brethren, in the darkness of their tribulations; by which he fulfiled that law of our Redeemer. He fulfiled it; & why then should not I? I confess my ignorance, & my many imperfections make me Infinitely unequal to him in desert: yet the same God which inspired him with his Spirit, can (if he please) enable me to endeavour the fullfilling of that law. But he was a disciple: and why may not I be ranked in the number? What though I am a woman? So was Tabytha; Act: 9.36. yet she was a disciple: and so, I hope, shall I be too. First, than I must strive for this theological virtue: for by this I shall be known to be a disciple of Christ. I swim in plenty; but do I remember those that are pinched with necessity? In my rich, and curious dresses, do I remember the naked? In my variety of dishes, do I think upon the hungry? In the choice of my wines, do I consider the thirsty? In the enjoyment of my freedom, do I pity the prisoners? I fear that my heart is too much delighted with the things I possess; & too little affected with the wants of my brethren. But let me ever consider that 'tis in the power of my God, as well to make me a beggar, as those that wait, & petition at my door: and from my plenty I may be driven to demand an alms. He that gives, can take. I must so demean myself in prosperity, as always remembering that adversity is near. What therefore I possess I will not enjoy as if I were mistress, but only steward of it. The shivering body of a naked beggar, shall have a share and proportion to cover his nakedness. The empty belly shall have meat to fill it: & the thirsty soul shall be satisfied with drink: the sick I will comfort: & the prisoners I will visit. In my liberty I will commiserate the imprisoned; in my health, the sick; in my drink, the thirsty; in my meat, the hungry; and in mine apparel, the naked. Lord, what a world is this wherein I live! Every one looks on the rising Sun: Riches are the Idols almost of every one; and gold, though the feigned, yet the admired Deity. Prov. 14.20. The rich (saith Solomon) hath many friends: & I find it true. But are those friends indeed, which pretend to friendship? Certainly not all: & yet this is my misery, that while I am rich, I shall hardly distinguish between friend, and foe. Most that put on the vizors of friendship, do but comply with the plenty of my fortunes. They have falsehood veiled under theshape of love; which will never be discovered, but by change of estate. Surely thus to be rich, is but to be miserable. Were my treasures exhausted, I should sit alone, without society, or pity. The doves delight in the whited houses. So long as I shine in rich array, the caps, & the knees will do reverence to my ornaments: but who respects the meanly habited? Prov: 14.20. The poor is hated, even of his own neighbour: & such a one might I have been: yea & such a one I may be made. Let me not therefore boast of that, which is neither truly good, nor mine, nor permanent. If I trust in these riches, I lean upon a reed. If I boast of my riches, I forget their uncertainty. If I am proud of my estate, I disdain the giver. This tempting gold is nothing but earth, upon which the policy of men hath set a value. It was gotten with sweat; and 'tis preserved with cares. But why; o why do the children of the earth thus magnify that, which is in their power to scorn? For gold the merchants hazard their lives; the ploughmen sweat; the thieus, and robbers do come to shameful ends: yea and most men defile their precious souls. 'Tis that which imploye's the tongue of the pleader; yea and sometimes corrupts the justice of the judg. 'Tis that which buys the skill of the Physician: and rule's, and governe's the affairs of the world. For that do Kingdoms strive; and the whole world contend's. But thou glistering, stupid Idol, why art thou so honoured? Why so adored? 'Tis true, thou art the price of whatsoëver we desire the world to furnish us with, both for necessity, and delight: and so fare I may suffer thee to lodge in my coffers. But is it in thy power to prolong my life; and preserve me here beyond my time appointed? Canst thou give me health, or strength? Canst thou afford me peace of mind; and quietness of conscience? Canst thou endow me with spiritual, and saving grace: and purchase me a seat in the heavenly jerusalem? Alas poor, simple dirt, thou canst do nothing that's good; nor they whom thou foolest with the covetousness of thee. Why then dost thou cheat the children of Adam: betray them to hell by their honouring of thee? But stay: Why do I thus blame this innocent metal? 'Tis not this that offend's. This would have slept in the silent bowels of our mother earth; had not the avarice of men disturbed its rest. It is not the gold that ●…mpt's to wickedness: but 'tis the slight ●f the Devil which persuades men to ho●our it. Since than I can find no fault with ●…y coin, let me pray that no fault may be ●ound in myself. If I love it, I sin: if I co●et it, I sin: if I gain it by means not varrented in Scripture, I sin: if I increase it by extortion, or biting usury, I sin: if I ●ut my trust, or confidence in it, I sin: if I make it the price, and hire of wickedness, 〈◊〉 sin: if I value myself either greater, or better for the possession of it, I sin: if I unjustly detain it from those who have right to it, I sin: if vainly, and prodigally I wast, and exhaust it, I sin: if I deny it to them that are in distress, I sin. Lord, how many sins depend upon this glittering earth! I will therefore resolve to look down on it as on a slave, and never allow it a seat in my heart: and willingly will I impart it to the needy, and indigent. I had rather it had dwelled in the dark vaults, and caverns of the earth, than ever it should be a means to offend my God. But since my revenues are plentiful, what shall I do with this which I posesse? I will resolve by the grace and goodness of my God, that so I will keep it, as if I had it not: I will so use it, as if I used it not: I will so freely give it where necessity requireth, that it shall plainly appear I love it not: and yet I will so preserve it, as if I scorned it not. With this I will relieve the poor: I will the naked: I will comfort the distressed: and whatsoëver good it may procure for myself, or others, I will labour to purchase it, though with the expense of the coin. I will not, for the love of this, Is: 32.6 make empty the soul of the hungry; nor cause the drink of the thirsty to fail: for this is the property of persons that are vile. I will never so settle my affection upon it, as to suffer it to stop mine ears at tho cry of the poor: Prov: 21.13. lest the time should come when I myself should cry, job. 22 7. and not be heard. I will not hold my bread from the hungry, as Eliphaz once accused job. c: 24.7. I will not cause the naked to lodge without clothing, that they may have no covering in the cold: vers: 10 nor will I take away the sheaf from the hungry. for this is the property only of the wicked. c: 22.6. I will not take a pledge from my brother for nought; and strip the naked of their clothing. Ex: 22.25. If I lend my money to any that is poor, I will not be to him as a usurer; neither will I lay usury upon him. Prov: 14.31. I will not oppress the poor, lest I reproach my maker: but I will have mercy upon him; and so honour my God. I will not mock the poor. c: 17.5. nor be glad at his calamities; left I myself go not un-punished. I will not oppress the widow, Zech: 7 10. Amos 2.6. nor the fatherless; the stranger, nor the poor. I will not sell the righteous for silver; or the poor for a pair of shoes; nor will I ever sleep with his pledge. Deut: 24.12. Prov: 22.2. Deut: 8 3. 1. Sam. 2.7. But seeing ●…at the rich, and the poor meet together; and ●…e Lord is the maker of both: Seeing it was God who humbled Israël; and suffered him to ●unger; and fed him with Manna: Seeing that ●rom God doth proceed both poverty, and ●iches: I will therefore magnify my liberal giver, in my gifts to the poor. Prov: 25.21. Since he which maketh poor, and maketh rich; which bringeth low, and lifteth up, hath commanded me, if even my very enemy be hungry, to give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, to give him drink: Since the Psalmist assures me, that they are blessed, which consider the poor; Ps: 41.1 the Lord will deliver them in the time of trouble: Since King Solomon tell's me that He that hath pity on the poor, dareth unto the Lord; Prov: 19.17. and that which he hath given, he will pay him again: Since he assure's me that, c: 29.7 The righteous considereth the cause of the poor; but the wicked reguardeth not to know it: Since my Redeemer commandeth, saying, Luc: 14 13. vers: 44 When thou makest a feast, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, and the blind; And thou shalt be blessed, for they cannot recompense thee; for thou shalt be recompensed at the resurrection of the just: Since at the day of his comening in the clouds, Matt: 24.30. Mart: 25.34. with great majesty, and glory, he shall say unto them on his right hand, Come ye blessed of my father; inherit the Kingdom prepared for you, from the foundation of the world: vers: 35 For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took me in; verse 36 Naked, & ye clothed me; I was sick, and ye visited me; I was in prison, and ye came unto me: Luc: 16 9 And lastly, since he hath commanded, saying, Make to yourselves friends of the Mammon of unrighteousness, that when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations: Deut: 15.7. I will resolve therefore, that I will not harden my heart, nor shut mine hand against my poor brother: vers: 8. but I will open mine hand wide unto him; job. 30.25. and lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth. I will weep for him that is in trouble: my soul shall be grieved for the poor. c: 29.16. Is: 58.7 I will be as a father or mother to the poor; for I will deal mybread to the hungry; and I will bring the poor, that is cast out, to my house; and when I see the naked, I will cover him. vers: 8. I will draw out my soul to the hungry; and satisfy the afflicted soul: Then shall my light arise in obscurity; and my darkness shall be as the noon day. Is: 21.14. I will do as the inhabitants of the land of Tema did: I will bring drink to him that is thirsty; and with my bread I will prevent him that fleeth. Eze: 18 7. I will not oppress any; but I will restore to the debtor his pledge. I will spoil none by violence; but I will give my bread to the hungry, and cover the naked with a garment. vers: 8. I will not give forth upon usury; neither will I take any increase. vers: 9 I will walk in the statutes of my God; and will keep his judgements to deal truly. Dan: 4.27. I will break off my sins by righteousness; and mine iniquities, by shew●ng mercy to the poor. job: 31 19 I will never see any ●erish for want of clothing; or any poor without ●overing. These ornaments of my body shall put me in mind of mine original corruption, which I received from Adam; who, in his integrity, was naked, and was not ashamed: Gen: 2.25. and of mine actual transgressions, especially of my pride, and excess in apparel; whereas unto Adam, and to his wife, c: 3.21. the Lord God made coats of nothing but skins, and clothed them. They shall teach me thankfulness to him that sent them; for even thus did he discover his love to jerusalem, when he clothed her with broidered works, Eze: 16 10. and shod her with badger's skins, and girded her about with fine linen, and covered her with silk; vers: 11 And decked her also with ornaments, and put bracelets upon her hands, and a chain on her neck. They shall teach me humility, when I consider mine own unworthiness; and how short I come of the goodness, & righteousness of john the Baptist, Mat: 3.4. who notwithstanding had his raiment but of Camels hair & a leathern girdle about his loins; & his meat was but locusts, & wild honey. That plenty, wherewith my table is furnished, Lu: 6.25. shall make me tremble at the Woe pronounced by my Saviour, saying, Woe unto you that are full; for ye shall hunger. It shall put me in mind of the charge which Moses gave unto the Israelites, Deut. 8 10. saying, When thou hast eaten, and art full; then thou shalt bless the Lord thy God. I will weep for the sins which may arise from my riches. I will weep for the poor, who want my superfluities. I will weep for the distressed, who may be nearer, and dearer by fare unto God, than I, the worst of sinners, am: and yet they want, what I do surfeit on. I will remember how Dives was clothed in purple, Luc. 16 19 and fine linen; and fared sumptuously every day: and yet at length he was sentenced to the torments of hell. vers. 23 I will consider how, though Lazarus would have fed upon the crumbs that fell from the rich man's table, verse 21 but was churlishly denied them; vers. 22 yet afterwards he was carried by the Angels into Abraham's bosom. I will consider with myself, that my gold and silver are nothing but earth; my jewels but stones; mine apparel but the labour, and issue of a worm; mine honour & respect but either the steam of an unsavoury breath; or the wrying, and deforming of a Christians body: and yet this aery applause, & these congees, and salutes are grounded only on this earth & stones. Were virtue only the ground of honour, my credit might be sullied with this dirt, and trash: for the more I possess of this earthy mass, the heavier and duller I grow to acts of goodness. Gold is accounted the most compacted mettle; &, to heighten the value of it, they boil it in broths, as a cordial for the infirm. Peradventure the Almighty hath given it virtue to comfort the heart: but than it must be used, & not locked up. Yet the physician's prescription may be grounded on avarice; and it may be a policy of Satan to Increase our idolatry. Thus doth every one make it his business to court this Idol whereof I am mistress. But am I sure that I am mistress of this admired mettle? Am I not rather a servant, and slave to it? If it ever hath power to tempt me to sin, I have lost my sovereignty to which I pretend. This mettle is close, and compact; more heavy & ponderous than any of the rest. O is it not a description of my remorseless heart? Is not that as close, & compact: as unwilling to yield to the stroke of the hammer; to the cries, and the tears of the poor, and the miserable? If thus I find my heart in the gold; my next care shall be to make it as heavy. I will grieve, and lament for the hardness of my heart; and since it is so drossy, as to covet the gold. I will earnestly besiech my God to refine it. I will humbly request him to put it to the test; to put it into a crucible; and then so to draw it down in the fire of affliction, that it may run pure, and clean; and be apt to yield, and commiserate the cause of the helpless. Between the steel and the loadstone the sympathy is so prevalent, that they woo each other, even at a distance. O that my God would infuse into my heart so much of his grace, that the stone therein might be like the loadstone, drawing the poor and the miserable to my doors, who with indigency and want are hammered, and beaten, and fired like the steel. The red and fiery eyes are cured by the often touch of the gold. Whose eyes are more inflamed than those of the poor, whose every morsel is the price of a tear? Who is more able to cure those maladies, than we to whom God hath sent in abundance? For them then I will call, I will sieke, I will send: and the redness of their eyes shall be cured with my yellow, & resplendent gold. Those that steadfastly look on waterish eyes, are subject to contract the same infirmity. Mine are clear, and free from the malady; but 'tis only because I look not on them who are troubled with that weakness. But I will labour hereafter to look upon the poor, whose eyes are swelled with petitionary tears; and so stedfastly-will I fasten mine eye of compassion upon their miseries, that I will both lament their sufferances, and relieve their wants. The purest gold is ever most pliable, and apt to bent which way we please. Thus shall mine be ready to bow, and bent, and yield to the necessities of my brethren. Thus shall my heart be no longer the possessor of my revenues, but the cabinet of charity, and tender compassion. But when I divert ●…ine eyes from the treasures of my coffers, ●nd fasten them on the glittering rays of my ●…abinet jewels; o than my heart, which was open, begins to close again: & me thinks, I repent my promise of distributing my massy sums; since they have power to purchase such dazzling jemms. Fond woman, where is thy religion? Vain woman, why art thou so unconstant? These sparkling diamonds are but the offals of a rock; and by the hand of the artist composed into a form, which may fitly tell me the folly of my pride. Suppose that this, or this stone by nature was placed on the top of the rock: yet when it fell to the ground, 'twas taken up for an idol. What stone can be harder, then is this Adamant? Yet I find that flesh may be harder than this. My heart is a rock; yet 'tis not a Diamond; for 'tis fare inferior in the value, and price. But admit howsoever that 'twere a Diamond: then I might hope that nature or art would force some pieces, or sparks from the rock. O but I find it will not easily yield to part with any: but when the hammer doth come with violence upon it, it forceth it back again with scorn, and contempt; when the grace of my God doth offer to touch it, 'tis repelled by the hardness, and obduracy there of. What shall I do to force it to yield? Nothing but a Diamond cut's a Diamond. This very Diamond then, which I hold in my hand, shall cut me to the heart, for the wickedness thereof. Or if that will not do: if it will not yield without the concurrence of blood; I will besiech my Redeemer for a drop of his blood, by virtue whereof my heart may relent. Here's a Pearl too, whose orient lustre hath so delighted my heart, that me thinks in a manner I wear it in mine eye. It was the purchase of my coin; but from whence at first was it derived to my possession? Nature intending to preserve it from violence, clasped it up in the shell of a fish; and then sunk it to the bottone of the troubled ocean. But covetous man envying the treasures which were hidden in the seas, ransacked the bottom to find out this gem. Now it is mine: it adds to my treasure; and borroweth the eyes of the gazing spectators, making them wonder and cover this which I possess. But was it only sent for the satisfaction of the eye? Let me a little more carefully look upon it; and try if it offers not something of piety to a religious soul. In the colour thereof I discover heaven. In the Eastern parts from whence are brought the crient pearls, Mat. 2.1.2. I am put in mind of the star which appeared in the East to the wise men; and conducted them to the sight of Christ, whom they worshipped. This cerulian, jewel so fitly imitating the colour of the heavens, whispers into me the earnest desire which I ought to have, of that which it resembles. Shall the colour of the heavens be kept close in my cabinet, and valued chief for its orient lustre; and shall not the desire of heaven be stirred up in my heart; and an eamest longing to reign there eternally? This pearl shall be made to forget its value, rather than I will prise it above my charity. Even these very jewels shall be sold, and consumed, rather than I will value my pride above my bounty. They shall be parceled out in several sums, and the naked shall wear them in their needful apparel. Or if these pearls being sold, & dispersed to the poor, will not discover enough of my Christian compassion; from mine eyes shall drop such a plentiful store, that my heart shall be free in its liberal bounty, and manifest thereby my tender affection. There is a pearl which my Saviour mentions, exceeding, Mat: 13 45. vers. 46 all the treasures of the earth. For that pearl will I learn to play the merchant; and sell both this, and all that I have, for the purchase of that. I need not fear the want of ornaments, if I part from these to be partaker of that: for that pearl is a city; Reu: 21 10. and that city is great, and holy; even the holy jerusalem; whose light is like a jasper stone, vers. 11 clear as Crystal. vers. 18 The building of the wall thereof is of jasper; the city pure gold, like unto clear glass; the foundations of the wall are garnished with all manner of precious stones; vers. 19 even with a jasper, a Saphir, a Calcedony, vers. 21 an Emerald, a Sardonix, a Sardius, a Chrysolit, a Berill, a Topaz, a Chrysophrasus, a hyacinth, vers. 21 and an Amethyst: the twelve gates are twelve pearls; every severallgate a pearl: and the very street of the city is pure gold, as it were transparent glass. O who would not leave this drossy, perishing gold, for that which is so pure, and shall last for ever? Who would not forsake these mock, and trivial gems, for those most precious, and unvalluable jewels? Long since did my Saviour tell his disciples, that it is easier for a camel to go thorough the eye of a needle, Mat: 19 24. then for the rtch to enter into the Kingdom of God. What then shall I do; who am borne down from that Kingdom by the weight of my riches; and kept out from the door by the bundles the greatness of the bags which. I would carry? When the ruler professed that he had kept all the commandments of God from his youth, Luc: 18 21. vers. 22 yet lacked he one thing: He was to sell all that he had, and give to the poor; and then, it was promised, he should have treasure in heaven, But when he heard this, vers. 23 he was very sorrowful, for he was very rich. For my part I must confess that I have been fare more careful to keep my treasure, than the commandment of God. Yet if I had done it, even from my youth, as the ruler boasted; howsoever my plenty would inform me of my want. One thing yet, the ruler wanted; and that one thing still, I stand in need of: I want the diminishing of this earthly trash: I must sell all that I have and give to the poor. O I fear that this command will be very sad, and sorrowful to me too, because I am very rich. The more I possess, the more sorrow will arise, when I shall part from my possessions. But thus I must do, if I expect what I desire. All must go for the purchase of that pearl. The poor must have bags to receive my riches; and then my store shall be treasured in heaven. Yet am I not bound so to give to the poor, as thereby to be one of the number of them. Charity unbounded becometh prodigality. Those that are liberal must disperse with freedom, but not with excess. He that commands me to relieve the poor, commands me not to give till I am poor. If once I be reduced to such a penury, I shall be quite deprived of the power to be liberal. What therefore is mine I will not impropriate, and keep only to myself: but first having furnished myself for necessity, I will prefer the wants of my brethren before my convenience, or my delight. I will not deny my felse the use of the creatures in a lawful manner: nor yet will I proudly satisfy my curiosity, & leave the indigent out of my thoughts. I will labour to make these earthly riches serviceable to the donour, even the God of heaven: and that I may the better effect my desires, I will humble myself on my knees at his footstool, and besiech him to bow down his ear to my petitions, while I pray unto him, and say. The Prayer. HEavenly father, Lord of plenty; thou who hast created the world by thy power; and continuest thy love, in thy providence, and protection: to thee do I render thanks for my plenty; and to thee do I offer the service of my store. What I have is thine; Ps. 24.1 for the earth is thine, and all that therein is, the compass of the world, and they that dwell therein. It is thou only that givest a blessing to the fruit of the land; Deut: 7 13. to the corn, to the wine, and to the oil; to the increase of the Kine, and of the flocks of the sheep. It is thou only that commandest thy blessing in the storehouses; c: 28.8. and in all that thy servants do set their hands unto. Lord make me one of thy faithful servants; that what thou hast sent me, may be a testimony of thy love, and not of thy hatred. ●. Tim. 6.17. Make me all ways magnify thee in my time of plenty; and not be highminded, nor trust in these uncertain riches; but in thee, the living God, who givest me richly all things to enjoy. O suffer me not so to treasure up the deceitful riches of this sinful world, Luc. 12 25. as thereby forgetting to be rich towards thee: but as from thy bounty I receive these temporal blessings, so in thy mercy make me abound in grace; 2. Cor: 9.8. that always having all sufficiency in all things, I may abound to every good work, vers. 11 and be enriched in every thing to all bountifulness; that through me it may cause thanksgiving unto thee my Lord, and my God. In this my prosperity give me humility; and prepare me for adversity, if it shall please thee at any time to send it unto me. Give me a sense of the afflictions of many of thy saints, and distressed servants: & enlarge my heart, that I may be ready, and forward to contribute to their necessities. Make me show mercy with cheerfulness, Rom. 12.8. and possess with thankfulness what thou sendest unto me; that I may neither forget thee in thy members, nor deny thee to be the giver. Let me never stop mine ears at the cries of the distressed, who beg for relief in the name of thyself. Thou, o Christ, 2. Cor: 8.9. who wert rich, didst for my sake become poor, that so through thy poverty thou mightest make me rich. Lord make me as willing to be poor for thy sake; always considering that the vanities of earth, are not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed. 1. Pet. 5 1. Heb. 4.13. 1. Tim. 2.9. vers. 10 O thou, to whose eyes even all things are naked, and open; grant that I may adorn myself in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not so much with gold, or pearls, or costly array; as with good works, becomeing a professor of godliness. Make me labour for the ornaments of the hidden man in the heart in that which is not corruptible; 1. Pet. 3 4. Luc. 12 21. 2. Cor. 9.11. 1. Tim. 6.18. jam. 2.5. Reu: 3.18. even the ornament of a meek, & quiet spirit, which is in thy sight of greatest price. Make me, o heavenly father, rich in thyself; rich unto liberality; rich in good works, & in faith. Make me buy of thee, gold tried in the fire, that I may berich; and white raiment that I may be clothed; and that the shame of my nakedness do not appear. Let me always remember that great account which one day I must render to thee the Lord of heaven, and earth; that so I may serve thee here with my substance; in my body, and my soul, with zeal and devotion: and hereafter be received to thine everlasting glory, through the merits of thy son in thy bosom, jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. subject 7 THE SEAVENTH SUBjECT. Tears in want or in the time of adversity. In four several Soliloquies, treating of, 1 A decayed est eaten: or plenty turned into poverty. 2 Hunger, both corporal, and spiritual. 3 Thirst, both bodily, and ghostly. 4 Nakedness, both of the outward, and the in-ward man. The first soliloquy. Treating of a decayed estate: or Plenty turned into poverty. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. When Mary had poured her precious ointment on the head of my Redeemer, Mat: 26 7. his disciples were filled with indignation, vers. 8. vers. 9 & said, To what purpose is this waist? For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor. vers. 10 But when jesus understood it, he said, why trouble ye the woman? For she hath wrought a good work upon me: vers. 11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always. O me thinks the words of my Saviour do more afflict me, than the poverty which I suffer. I thought he had been always conversant with the poor, because he so often commandeth their relief. But now he seemeth to leave us in our misery, when he determineth that we shall continue upon earth, but himself resolveth to leave the earth. But did he not promise in Saint Matthew, & say, Mat. 28 20. Lo I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world? How can his promise be fulfiled, if we have him not alway? Will he be at the same time both present with us, and absent from us? Or doth he disdain our poverty; and for that very reason deny us his presence? Cease, cease, o my soul, these doubts, & questions, which savour too much of ignorance, Rom. 3 4. or infidelity. Let God be true, and every man a liar. What he spoke to his disciples before his suffering, he spoke of his flesh: but what he said when he was risen, he affirmed of his Spirit. True it is, o my jesus, that thy bodily presence I expect not upon earth: Ps. 144 5. nor may I desire thee, to how the heavens, and come down from thy glory. ●t is thy Spirit, o Christ, which I humbly sue ●or: even that Comforter, who may strengthen ●…ee, in the depth of my calamities. Never ●ad I more need of comfort from God, then ●ow, when the goods of the world forsake me. Now do I find, that I am hated, Prov. 14.20. c: 18.23 c: 19.4. even of mine own neighbours, but the rich hath many friends. I am enforced to use entreaties: c: 18.23 but the rich answereth me roughly. c: 19.4 Wealth. did make many friends: but now I am poor, I am separated from my neighbours. vers. 7. All my brethren do hate me: and much more do my friends go fare from me. I pursue them with words: yet they are wanting unto me. Vain world, where are thy promises? Deceitful riches, where is your friendship? I, who so lately was dandled in the lap of pleasure, and plenty, am now exposed to pains, and penury. So little did I dream of this tempestuous storm, that (with David) I said in my prosperity, Psa. 30.6. I shall never be removed; thou Lord, of thy goodness, hadst made my hill so strong. But where are now those ensigns of pride; my Rings, and my jewels? Where are those factours of lasciviousness; my favours, and my fashions? Where are those robbers of time, my sports, & my games? Where are those moths, & worms of plenty; my flattering society, and my discursive companions? Where are those pamperers of the body; my several dishes, and dainty cookeries? Where be those golden pictures, that often yielded me legs, and the curtsies? Alas, all's gone: all's flown. The Sun is hidden, and muffled in a cloud; and by that means those atoms, those motes are obscured. Now must I expect no more honour, or respect. My fingers, and my wrists, and my neck must forget, that ever they were adorned with the treasure of the seas, and the riches of the earth. My back must forget that ever it was dressed in the fashion of strangers. Mine ears must forget, that ever they were delighted with the music of discourses. My palet must forget that ever it was coy, and nice in the choice of various meats. My mind must forget, that ever I was honoured with the respect of inferiors: And my purse must forget, that ever it was acquainted with the idol of the world. O what wonder, and misery happens in this change! All things are altered, as if I had slept out my time; and only dreamt of the plenty, which formerly I enjoyed. Me thinks I am but just newly borne. Nay, I am worse: for now I have neither nurse to suckle me; nor mother to dandle me. Yet am I still as if I were borne but a day, or two since; although I am grown to bigness beyond the time: for I am as ignorant of a way to live in the world, as the sucking infant that's nourished at the breast. And now, what shall I do? Nor acquaintance, nor friends, nor kindred, nor any will remember that ever they knew me: or if they do, they will be moreready to taunt me, then afford me relief. Was ever misery like unto mine? Was ever distressed soul so destitute, so forlorn as I am? Whither shall I go? To whom shall I complain? Either my tongue hath forgotten to speak; or my friends to hear. Christianity seems to be but the labour of the voice: for if men did believe what the Scriptures teach, they surely would practise something of Charity. Thus I sit, and sigh, and grieve, and expostulate, and complain: but yet I forget what I ought to consider of. I am apt to repine at this poverty which I suffer; but I am un-apt to inquire into the cause thereof. Solomon tell's me that, Prov. 19.15. slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep: & an idle soul shall suffer hunger. That hunger I feel; but do I acknowledge that idleness? Do I confess that slothfulness? If I should examine my hands, what work they have done; would not their smoothness, and whiteness accuse them of idleness? If I should ask mine eyes how vigilant they have been, in a lawful employment; would they not drowzily, and bashfully slink behind the curtains? Let me then remember how Solomon telleth me, c. 23.21 that drowsiness shall one with rags. And yet, me thinks, this is not all. There must be something else that bring's this affliction. Let me but consider a little; and reason with myself. It may be I may find out something more, by a diligent search. I live upon the earth. I live in the world. Earth I had: the best of earth, in the esteem of earth: I had gold and silver, so much esteemed, and honoured by man. In the world I am; & yet now my coin is gone, I am here but a stranger. I did know many: but in the change of my fortune, I am known of none. If I call to the earth, which so much I have loved; it will not un-bowell itself, to offer me its intraills. I cannot tell how, neither, to prick a vein of it, to enrich myself; as the delvers do, though she tremble at the violence. If I sue to the world, I am there neglected: Ps. 31.12. I am forgotten, like a dead man out of mind; or like a broken vessel. Whence ariseth this unkindness of the earth? Whence proceede's this forgetfulness of the world? Certainly the earth, of itself, had not malice enough, to sieke my ruin. Surely the world, of itself, had not cruelty enough to contrive my undoeing. No, Noah: there's something yet, which I have not discovered, that questionless hath brought this poverty upon me. I sigh; & my sighs go up-ward; me thinks, toward heaven. I look with a steady, and steadfast eye: but 'tis up-ward I look; 'tis chiefly upon heaven. I mourn; and I cry: and my word is chiefly, O Lord, O God. Who is this I name, so often, in my laments? Who is this I mention, so often, in my cries? Is it not the Lord? Is it not God? To heaven go my sighs upon heaven look mine eyes: on the God of heaven do I call: and yet, though he's in my sighs, in mine eyes, and in my tongue; I have all this while forgotten to entertain him in my heart. Surely, if he had hitherto dwelled in my soul, I should either have enjoyed more of the earth, or less of my love to it. That which I have left so un-willingly, I have loved too much: and in that love, I have sinned too much: and by that sin, I have moved him to anger, who hath sent me this poverty. Yes, yes: 'tis he, 'tis he that maketh poor, and maketh rich; 1. Sam. 2.7. that bringeth low, and lifteth up. All this while I have lived in such ignorance, that either I knew him not; or, at least, I honoured him not. I lived as if there were no other God, but only mammon; no happiness, but on earth; no treasures, but gold; and no content, but in plenty. If I ever remembered him, it was to his dishonour: if ever I spoke of him, it was in profaneness. I never doubted of his love, & therefore never prayed for his blessing: or, if I did pray, it was coldly; it was faintly; and rather to satisfy the world, then to discharge my duty; or, in an awful manner, to have recourse to his Majesty. I measured his favours by my outward possessions: and deemed them blessings, which he sent in wrath: but, I hope, it will prove, that he hath taken them in mercy. Grant, blessed God, that now I may know thee in this my misery, who formerly forgot thee in the height of my plenty: and that, knowing thee, I may love thee: and that, loving thee, I may depend on thee: & that depending on thee, I may serve, and honour thee all the days of my life. O now, me thinks, I am another woman. I begin to feel some warmth at my heart. I find that my God doth speak to my conscience. Lord send me repentance, that I may be sorry for my sins: send me thy grace, that I may have share in thy promises: send me a lively faith, that I may rely upon the merits of my blessed Redeemer: and, howsoever thou disposest of this body of flesh, preserve my soul for thy celestial kingdom. O what a sudden alteration do I find in myself! My tears, that savoured of murmuring, and despair; shall flow abundantly for the sins I committed. World, lewd world, thou art a juggler, and an impostor. Earth, base earth, thou art a cozener, and a deluder. I, silly, woman, did place my happiness in your transitory courtesies; and thought it the chief honour, to become your minion. But now I see that you fail your servants, and mock your lovers. There's no constancy, but in God. There's no comfort, or happiness, but in Christ. The more I sieke him, the more I love him: and the more I love him, the more I am beloved of him. He will not deceive me: he will not leave me, nor forsake me. Lord let me be thine; though hungry, though thirsty, though naked I come unto thee. I am sure that, if I serve him, I shall be provided for, by him. He can do it, for he hath enough. Col. 1.16. He created all things; and his they are, by whom they were created. O let him give me a little with content; rather than so much as I had, with forgetfulness of him. I care not how little I possess, so I may enjoy my Lord. The birds do never think of a morrow: and yet their hunger is satisfied every moment. The herbs, & the flowers are infensible of their verdure: and yet they infinitely outvie King Solomon in his glory. Mat. 6.29. The rivers that steal from the billowed ocean, and sport awhile in the massy earth, are at length directed to the sea again. The stone that is digged from the quarries in the earth, to serve for necessity, and ornament of our structures; findeth rest, at last, in a silent heap; where, making a way by its heavy weight, it steale's back by degrees into the womb of the earth. In each of these I discover a providence: for he who first created, doth still preserve. O let him be mine; and then I shall be his. O let me be his; & then he shall be mine. If I be his child by grace, and adoption; I am sure that he will be my father, by providence, and protection. He it is who said that he would leave in the midst of jerusalem, Zeph: 3.12. an afflicted, and poor people: but, with all, be promised that they should trust in the name of the Lord. He that correcteth me for mine offences, intendeth my conversion: the fault is in myself, if it turn to my ruin. He taketh away earth, that he may give me heaven: for, both, he seethe, I cannot grasp at once. Thus he at once both punisheth me for mine offences, and provideth for my happiness. Yet, though he punisheth; he doth it not hastily, nor yet un-expectedly, if I justly consider it. First he threatneth, before he scourgeth: and warneth me to obey, before he chastiseth. Thus, by his Prophet, Is. 20.3 he saith, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked, and bare foot three years, for a sign, and wonder upon Egypt, and upon Ethiopia: vers. 4. So shall the King of Assyria lead away the Egyptians prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives: young, and old; naked, and barefoot; even with their shame un-covered to the shame of Egypt. Me he threatened too, before he thus visited me: but mine ears were deaf; I stopped them; and refused to hearken to the voice of the Lord. Every sickness of mine own, or my friends: every loss of mine own, or my neighbours, was a menace ●…om the Almighty. Often did I see his ●…gments upon others; but I minded them ●…t: as if it nothing concerned me, what fell ●ot on myself. Children of Princes do seldom feel the smart of a rod; but are terrified by the stripes which others receive. Thus the Lord dealt with me, when he scourged others: but I pitied not them, nor yet myself: just it is therefore that none should now commiserate my case, in the depth of my distress. Yet when I consider that this my poverty comes from God, me thinks it is a testimomie as much of his love, as of his severity. I know assuredly that his servant job did suffer more than my calamity amounts unto: yet he repined not at his losses, but glorified his maker. job. 1.21. The Lord gave (says he) and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Thus if I magnify him who sendeth this correction; I shall not sin in my sufferance, vers. 22 nor charge him foolishly. Mar. 10 25. He who said It is easier for a Camel to go thorough the eye of a needle, then for a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God: even the same Lord said to the young man in the Gospel, If thou wilt be perfect, Mat: 19 21. go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor; and thou shalt have treasure in heaven; and come, and follow me. Had I thought of heaven in my seeming prosperity, I should not so much have been tormented with this present loss. But I, who before neglected the poor, am ranked now in the number of them. I who expected my heaven upon earth, have here my hell, that I may have heaven hereafter. Why then should I murmur at this blessing from God; and deem this a loss, which is sent for my advantage? Surely if I do but endeavour to value the joys of eternity, I shall rejoice at my deliverance from the possessions of the world. Such haste did Zacheus make from the tree, when my Saviour did promise to become his guest; and with such contempt of the world did he entertain my Redeemer, Lu: 19.8. that he said unto him, Behold Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him four fold. That Sycomore tree which never before or since had fruit, bore then a publican ripened for Christianity. Unwilling should I have been to have performed either of the promises of Zacheus, when I enjoyed those vanities, which I termed goods: for I ever was as slow to the acts of charity, as to those of justice. But what I kept from others, is now taken from me: and what I was unwilling to restore, is returned to the owner, Shall I therefore rhene at him, because he required his own? Shall I murmur at him, for that fault which is mine? He found me false; and would trust me no longer. Must this his know ledg redound to his dishonour? Shall I blame him for his discovery of my falsehood, and negligence; and not rather ingeniously confess the guilt of my wickedness? 'Tis I, 'tis I, that am unjust: 'tis he, 'tis he that is righteous: and yet though I am unjust, and he is righteous, my sins are punished to my greater advantage. I am now, in this poverty, made liker unto him: for to the Scribe he said, The foxes have holes, Mat: 8.20. and the birds of the air have nests; but the son of man hath not where on to lay his head. House he had none; yea, and friend he had none; for even those did crucify him, whom he came to redeem. One of his disciples became a traitor: and when he came to his own, Io: 1.11 his own received him not. When he was hungry, instead of figs he found nothing but leaves; Mat: 21 19 and at another time he contented himself with a piece of a broiled fish, Luc: 24 42. and an hony-kombe. When he was thirsty, he was offered vinegar to drink; Io: 19.29. Mat: 27 28.31. and never was it known that his garment was changed, save when the jews put on him the scarlet robe; and when they had mocked him, they tookeed from him again. The disciple is not above his master; c: 10.24. nor the servant above his Lord. If he be my master, I shall be contented with my poverty: if he be my Lord, I shall rejoice in my losses. Poverty is the livery which his servants wear: but this poverty is seated more in spirit, then in purse: for those he pronounced truly blessed; and to them he promised the kingdom of heaven. Mat: 5.3. The poor that are wicked, he double hate's, both because they neglect their common duties; and for contemning that poverty, which he send's for a blessing. Those who have least of temporal goods, should most be busied about things eternal. The rich have some plea for neglecting his service, because they are busied in managing their estates: but the poor have no pretence for failing in their duties, to whom God hath afforded nothing for their hindrance. Is: 66.2 To this man will I look (saith God him self) even to him that is poor. Yet he stayeth not here; but farther describeth what poor he intendeth, and saith, Even him that is of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word. Prov: 19.1. It is only the poor man walking in his integrity, who is better than he that is perverse in his lips. The prophet doth promise that The meek shall increase their joy in the Lord; Is. 29.19. and the poor among men shall rejoice in the holy one of Israel: But this promise belongeth only to the godly. If my God will but vouchsafe to sanctify my poverty, I shall be richer than those, who have the world at command: Iam: 2.5. for he hath chosen the poor of this world, rich in faith, and heirs of the Kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him. If I can be sure of heaven, I shall never care for the treasures of the earth. Make me thy child, o God, by grace; & then I shall willingly pass through poverty, to unspeakable glory. The world may scorn me; but it shall not ruin me, Poverty is contemptible; but it may end in riches. True it is, that now I am fallen into this decay, I must expect the frowns, and scorn of the people. But what of that? Earthly honour is but the fondness of opinion: and the credit of the world is as falsely grounded, as suddenly lost. The sporting winds that toss the ships upon the swelling ocean, do often convert their pastime into fury; and sink at once both the ship, and the adventurer. The idolatrous Mammonist that worship's his coin, is sometimes bereft of his speechless idol by the felonious robber. Storms, or waters, or time and age can cause our proudest structures to fall upon their knees: and when that is gone which purchased our credit, our contempt is as great as once was our honour. The world does reverence none but those, who are accounted rich. It is just in our times, as it was in the days when the Apostle lived. Iam: 2.2. If there come into an assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel; and there come in also a poor man, in vile raiment: vers: 3. They have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sat thou here, in a good place: And say to the other, Stand thou here, or sit under his footstool. But, for this Saint james says, They are partial in themselves; and are become judges of evil thoughts. vers. 4. If I derive my honour from the God of honour, I shall never value how low the world esteeme's me. The Elm, and the Ash are as apt for service, as the Cedar, and the Cypress. The coursest cloth affords more warmth, than the taffetas, and sattaines. Those bodies that glitter in gold, & tissue, shall appear as naked at the great tribunal, as the poorest beggar. The humble and meek have more content in the meanest cottage, than the proud and ambitious in the towering edifices. The coursest bread with the blessing of God, can nourish the body as well as the whitest, and purest manchet. Suppose I should be driven to beg my food; would not that which I sued for as well satisfy my hunger, as if it had been bought, and procured by my coin? If yet I should ask, and be denied, when the violence of hunger commands me to petition; howsoever I have thus much to quiet my mind, that the more I pine, the more near I draw to the place of delight: for when I am out of the world, I shall inherit a kingdom. What difference is there between gift, and price? It altars not the thing; but only varie's the manner of our getting the thing. If I beg for necessaries; they are as apt for use, as those that I can buy. Again; I beg but of those, to whom they are lent. If I speed in my suit, my thanks must be first directed to God, by whose bounty I receive: and next unto man, for fullfilling his duty. If I am denied what I ask, I must know that the hand of providence is in that denial: for though the devil may work in him that refuseth; yet God doth speak to me in the repulse. Hunger, and thirst, and cold, and nakedness, all are but trials of my patience, and hasteners of my deliverance. If creditors should deprive me of my beloved liberty, I should but be eased from wandering abroad in the wearisome world. The iron gates have not strength, and power to shut out my God. He spoke to jeremiah, Ier: 39.15. Act: 5.19. Prov: 22.27. and comforted the Apostles when they were locked up in the prisons. If those people to whom I am indebted, should be so merciless as to take away the very bed from under me, when I have nothing to pay; peradventure I might sleep as well upon the earth that bears me, as those that lie on their beds of down. The Patriarch jacob had but the ground for his couch, Gen: 28 11. and the stones for his pillow, when in his sweetest sleep he was promised by God, the land where he lay. vers. 13 Yet peradventure I may be eased of this misery too, if I address my complaint to the defender of the poor. 2. King 4.1. When the widow of the prophet cried to Elisha, and said, Thy servant my husband is dead, and thou knowest that thy servant did fear the Lord; and the creditor is come to take my two sons unto him, to be bondmen: vers. 6. vers. 7. even than Elisha multiplied her oil; and with that she satisfied her hungry creditor. Poverty hath been frequently the object of pity; yea and sometimes also the ground of plenty. When jerusalem was taken by Nabuchadnezzar King of Babylon, Ier: 39.10. Nebuzaradan the Captain of the guard left the poor of the people, which had nothing in the land of judak; and to them he gave both vine-yards, and fields. God hath ever been a protector of the poor that were faithful; and relieved their indigency, Rom. 15.26. when they trusted in him. It pleased them of Macedonia, and Achaia (saith Saint Paul) to make a certain contribution for the poor saints at jerusalem. He took away my riches, that I might depend upon him; and that, finding the uncertainty of earth, I might rely upon heaven. Mat: 6.25. He commands me to take no thought for my life, what I shall eat, or what I shall drink; nor yet for my body, what I shall put on. vers. 30 The life is more them meat; and the body than raiment. Surely if he cloathe's the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven; much more am I certain that he will his servants. From him proceedeth every good gift. Iam: 1.17. He will either send me what I desire; or else he will cause me not to desire what he resolve's not to send me. Whatsoever he giveth, he intendeth it for his honour. If I may honour him by hunger, or thirst, or whatsoëver sufferance; his is the glory, & mine shall be the reward. Those are not rich, whom the world so esteemeth. Content is certainly the best riches; and that is only proper to the godly. Reu: 3.17. Laodicea said, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing: but alas, she was miserable, and wretched, and poor, and blind, and naked. When the Israëlites were to give an offering to the Lord, to make an atonement for their souls, Ex: 30.15. the rich were not to give more, nor the poor to give less than half a shekel. If God should require so much at my hands, I should be apt to plead the want of money: or if I had so much, I fear that I should appear too unwilling to spare it. But all covetousness is a distrust of providence; and either denyeth the power, or questioneth the will of the great disposer. He provided for the poorest Israëlite: on him therefore must I depend for relief, & comfort. Something he require's that I should offer unto him. I have nothing of the world's. All that I can offer, is but myself; and certainly myself shall be best accepted. If I can but present him an honest heart, it matter's not how hungry, or thirsty, or cold, or naked the body is, which containeth that heart. job. 34.19. He accepteth not the persons of Princes; nor regardeth the rich more than the poor: for they all are the work of his hands. The rich may offer to him of their abundance: Mar: 12 44. but I, of my want, will give him my heart, which is all that I have. Peradventure he will say of me, vers. 43 as he did once of the widow, This poor woman hath cast more in, than all they that have cast into the treasury. Thus if I sieke the Lord, I cannot want: for so the Prophet telleth me; Ps: 34.10. The young Lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that sieke the Lord, shall not want any good thing. Saint Paul assureth me saying, 1. Cor: 3.22. Whether Paul, or Apollo's, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; vers. 23 all are yours, and ye are Christ's, and Christ is God's. And now, what can I fear? Whereat can I be displeased? God is mine, and I am his. For what he giveth me, I will be thankful: whatsoever earthly thing he depriveth me of, I will be contented. This poverty will not endure for ever. If it continueth while I live, yet it must end when I die; & that blessed time draweth nearer and nearer every moment. I am assured of a deliverance; I must attend with patience. Afflicted job does certainly assure me that, job. 36.15. God delivereth the poor in his affliction; and openeth their ears in oppression. The same God promised to Tzion, saying, I will abundantly bless her provision: Ps. 132.15. I will satisfy her poor with bread. The Psalmist refresheth me with unspeakable comfort, when he telleth me that, Ps: 9.18 Ps: 72.12. The needy shall not always be forgotten: the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever. The Lord shall deliver the needy, when he cryeth: the poor also; and him that hath no helper. He will defend the poor, Ps: 82.3 and fatherless: he will do justice to the afflicted, and needy. Ps: 140.12. He will maintain the cause of the afflicted; and the right of the poor. Thus am I promised; and thus shall it be performed. It is no new thing with God to take pity upon the distressed. The Prophet Isaiah saith unto him, Thou hast been a strength to the poor; Is: 25.4 a strength to the needy in his distress; a refuge from the storm; a shadow from the heat. Ps: 34.6 This poor man cried (saith David) and the Lord heard him; and saved him out of all his troubles. Again: He raiseth up the poor out of the dust; Ps. 113.7. Ps. 10.14. Heb. 13 5. and lifteth the needy out of the dunghill. Therefore I resolve that I will commit myself unto him; for he is the helper of the friendless. He hath promised that he will never leave nor forsake them that trust in him. Parents are commonly indulgent to their children: yet because their natural affection is possible to be quenched, therefore says the Psalmist, When my father, and my mother forsake me; Ps. 27.10. then the Lord, will take me up. I will therefore beg, seeing now I am poor: I will beg of God, because he is rich: I will beg of God to keep me, to love me, to bless me; that so I may never forsake my dependence on him; nor he his love, and compassion to me. Earnestly will I besiech him, and confidently will I resolve, Rom: 8 38. that Neither death, nor life, nor Angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present; vers. 39 nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall ever be able to separate me from the love of God, which is in jesus Christ our Lord. The Prayer. FAther of pities, Lord of comfort, thou that hearest the cries of the afflicted; job. 34.28. Ps: 32.4 look down in mercy on a distressed sinner. Thy hand, o God, is heavy upon me: for thou hast taken from me what I called mine, by reason that I did not acknowledge it thine. o Lord thou knowest my bleeding heart, my sorrowful eyes, and my mournful tears. Thou seest how poor I am; and what miseries I suffer. Ps: 44.13. I am a scorn to my neighbours; and a derision to them that are round about me. My life is become a burden unto me, because thou hast deprived me of the comforts thereof. My lovers, Ps: 38.11. and mine acquaintance stand looking upon my misery; and my kinsmen stand a fare off, Lord, if it be thy pleasure thus to humble me with poverty; let it be thy goodness to give me patience to endure it. The pride of my heart, and my forgetfulness of thee in the time of plenty, did cry aloud for thy severest punishments. Now, o now, I feel thy just displeasure; and I groan under the burden, and weight thereof. Yet thou Lord, canst ease me; thou canst restore me. Hear, Lord, and have mercy: Lord, Ps: 30.10. be thou my helper. Suffer me no more to rely upon the arm of flesh; 1. Tim: 6.17. or to put my trust in uncertain riches: but make me for ever depend upon thy bounty. Forgive me, o father, the sins which I committed, when I lived in prosperity: Ps: 30.7 for I am sensible that they are a cause, why at this time thou hidest thy face from me; and causest me to be troubled. O give me a sight, and sense of the greatness of them; and true contrition, and sorrow for them; that so, though the world forsake me, yet I may find favour, and mercy in thy sight. Without thy assistance, this sore burden is too heavy for me to bear. Ps: 38.4 Lord either remove it from me, or make it easier for me. Lend me thy gracious, and helping hand; Ps: 23.4 that as I am scourged with thy rod, so I may lean upon thy staff. Let me never despair of thy comfortable relief: but in all my miseries be thou my refuge. Be pleased to endue me with patience from above; that I may give no advantage to the tempter, in my sufferings. Open the eyes, and the charitable hands of those that should see, and know mine adversity: and so enlarge their hearts, that they may administer comfort, and relief to me, in the midst of my necessities. Ps. 147 9 Dan. 1.15. O thou that feedest even the young Ravens, which call upon thee; thou that didst bless the pulse to thy servant Daniel; be pleased to fill my hungry soul with the blessings of thy bounty. Grant that whatsoever I suffer in my body, my soul may thereby draw nearer unto thee. In the misery of hunger, do thou satisfy me with thy grace: in my scorching thirst, do thou cause me with joy to draw water out of the wells of salvation: Is. 12.3. in the pinching cold, do thou warm my devotion: and in my poorest, and meanest habit, do thou my soul with the righteousness of my Redeemer. O suffer me not to offend thee in my greatest want: but make me rely, and depend upon thee. Teach me, by this chastisement, the vanity of the world; and wean me from the fond delights thereof. Prov. 10.22. It is thy blessing only that maketh rich; and thou addest no sorrow with it: send me that blessing to ease me of my sorrows. Mat. 6.33. It is thy promise that if first I sieke thy Kingdom; & the righteousness thereof; then all other things shall be added unto me. Make me thus to sieke what thou commandest; and then give unto me that which thou promisest. Ps. 119.91. All things, in their order, do service unto thee: Lord make them, in some measure, serviceable unto me, that I may the better be enabled to be serviceable unto thee. O thou, my jesus, who didst hunger, Mat. 4.2. Io. 19.28. and thirst, look mercifully upon thy servant in this state of misery: and so carry me through the storms of this troublesome life; that, in the end, I may arrive at the fair haven of eternal peace, and rest; through thine own merits, and passion, o jesus Christ, my Lord, and only Saviour. Amen. soliloquy 2 THE SECOND soliloquy. Treating of hunger, both corporal, and spiritual. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen Zion bewailed her pitiful estate, she cried out in her misery, Lam. 4.9. and said, They that be slain with the sword, are better than they that are slain with hunger: for these pine only, stricken thorough for want of the fruits of the field. Surely this affliction was most dreadful in the sufferance; which soundeth so heavily in the sad complaint. Hunger hath been always acknowledged violent; even of force to break thorough walls of stone. The cry for bread, bread, bread, strikes such compassion in the ears of the auditors, that the hardest heart would melt at the voice. He that taught us to pray for our daily bread, Mat. 6.11. knew the necessity of our daily food. But I, poor I, do beg, and pray, and cry for bread, for daily bread; and yet I find neither supply, nor hope. Had I the employment, & righteousness of Moses, Deut: 9 18. I might fall down before the Lord for forty days and forty nights, as he did; and in all that time, neither eat bread, nor drink water: Yea, and if once would not serve the turn, I could return again to my former abstinence. Had I authority from heaven, as Elijah had, I could eat, and drink, 1. King 19.8. and go in the strength of that meat forty days, and forty nights too. Can I encounter the tempter, as once my Saviour did in the wilderness, Mat: 4.2. I might likewise fast both forty days, and forty nights. But miracles are ceased: I cannot therefore hope for so long an abstinence; nor know I where to satisfy my hunger. I daily want, that I may daily pray: and in this want I feel a necessity of depending on my God. O what shall I do? Where shall I sieke? To whom shall I complain? My spirits are fainting: my heart is even ready to die within me: 1. Sam: 25.37. and my feeble knees are un-able to bear the weight of my body. I am ready to perish for want of food; and yet me thinks, I am somewhat unwilling to disclose my wants, or else I am afraid my suit will be denied. When David pursued the Amalekites, after the spoiling of Ziklag, 1. Sam. 30.11. his soldiers found an Egyptian in the field, and brought him to David; and gave him bread, and he did eat; and they made him drink water: vers: 12 And they gave him a piece of a cake of figs, and two clusters of raisins; and when he had eaten, his spirit came again to him; for he had eaten no bread, nor drunk any water three days, and three nights. As that Eunuch was, so, me thinks, am I. I am feeble, and faint, and my spirit is gone: I know not what to do for something to refresh me. O, had I but such bread, and such drink, how thankfully should I take, what divers do scorn! Labour I would, to procure my sustenance; but I cannot work, because I have not to eat. Eze: 4.16. Walk I would, industriously in my calling; but the staff of bread is taken from me and without a staff I cannot walk. My wants I know, and complain of them: but where shall I find a charitable person, who will satisfy my appetite? But, why do I make these sad laments; and condole my poverty, as if no people ever had suffered the like? In former times whole nations, and countries have been pined with such misery, as now I endure. Famine is a punishment which cometh from God; & doth not always derive its cause from things that are natural. 2. King 25.3. At the siege of jerusalem, on the nineth day of the fourth month, the famine so prevailed within the city, that there was no bread for the people of the land. Lam: 1.19. My Priests (says ●hee in her great complaint) and mine Elders gave up the ghost in the city; while they sought their meat, to relieve their souls. Several famines have been often threatened; & as severely, many times, have been brought to pass. Among other curses wherewith the Israëlites were menaced, upon their disobedience, this was not the least of them, which was told them by the mouth of Moses, when he said Thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons, and of thy daughters, Deu: 28 53. which the Lord thy God hath given thee, in the siege; and in the straightness where with thine enemies shall distress thee. And again the Lord himself did speak unto them, and say, If ye will not hearken unto me, Lev: 26 27. vers. 28 but walk contrary unto me, Than I will walk also contrary unto you in fury; and I, even I will chastife you seven times for your sins: vers. 29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons; and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. This was threatened, and this was inflicted; the sad story whereof is obvious to every willing eye, according as it is recorded in sacred Writ. 2. King 6.25. A great famine there was in Samaria; and behold they besieged it, until an Asse's head was sold for fourscore pieces of silver; and a fourth part of a Kabbe of dove's dung for five pieces of silver: vers: 26 And as the King of Israel was passing by, upon the wall, there cried a woman unto him, saying, Help my Lord, vers: 27 o King: And he said, If the Lord do not help thee; whence shall I help thee? Out of the barn floor; or out of the winepress? And the King said unto her, vers. 28 what aileth thee? And she answered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day; and we will eat my son to morrow: vers. 29 So we boiled my son, and did eat him. And I said unto her, on the next day, Give thy son, that we may eat him: & she hath hidden him. O what a famine was this, which instructed nature to become unnatural! The lives of the mothers were preserved only by the deaths of their issue. The children, in recompense for the milk they had sucked, were enforced to pay the tribute of their blood. Those bellies which harboured the children unborn, were made the tombs of the murdered children. They which were a burden once to the parent, were now the nourishers. The famine did make the innocent guilty: & to prevent the hands of crueler executioners, the mothers did friendly betray them to their murder. They express their love, in preserving them from starving: and so at once were merciful to the babes, in borrowing their lives; and careful for themselves, to prevent their destruction. Lord, what a horrid act was this, when the child which was tenderly beloved of the parents, was greedily chewed in the teeth of the mother! Our offspring are bound by the commandment of God, to render us honour; but yet not thus ●o die for our lives: yet these innocents' were obedient before they knew it; and became the preservers of them that had nourished them. In the place where first they received life they preserved life by the deaths of themselves. Thus did their mother's most truly set them at their hearts: but more in affection to themselves, than their issue. The children died, that they might not die: they were murdered, that they might not be starved. They were dandled to their destruction, by the hands of their parents; and yet the act did appear rather care then cruelty. Lam: 4.10. The hands of the pitiful women (saith the Prophet) have sodden their own children: they were their meat in the destruction of the daughter of my people. Yet their flesh was not sensible of the fiercnesse of the fire: nor did they feel the teeth of their greedy parents. The bellies of the unnatural became their graves: and yet if there the dead had received their rest, than their inhumanity might have seemed to be pity. Those who once required the assistance of a midwife, were a second time delivered of their deceased burdens. But, was there no Prophet among them left to entreat? Was there none to intercede to the All mighty for them? c: 2.20. Shall the women eat their fruit; and children of a spanne long? The head of an ass was the ransom of a child: and the dung of the doves a repreever of the infants. But when the heads of the beasts had been devoured by the people; the very women themselves were transformed in to beasts: Yea, that cruelty which the beasts would have stood amazed at; the greedy starvelings blushed not to practise. O, me thinks, the remembrance of the doves should have heightened their affection; and not the dung of the doves have ushered in their murders. This was a famine which I tremble to remember: and it grieveth me to think that my sex was so cowardly. Had the old and the young expired together, I should have thought the women indulgent mothers. This famine was worse than that which Rabshakeh threatened to jerusalem: for he menaced but the feeding on the dung of themselves; but here was served in the very fruit of their loins. Yet that other was terrible too, even in the threat; when railing Rabshakeh said unto Eliakim, Shebna, and joah, 2 King: 18.27. Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men that sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss? These, these were famines which are more dreadful in their relations, than mine is in the sufferance: yet seeing they were universal, they were the easier to be borne. Misery hath some comfort, if it be ●ot singular. The sufferance is easier, when ●…ce it grow'es general. If the whole world ●ere reduced to the same distress as now ● suffer, I should ease my complaint by the sufferance of others. But is not this an argument of uncharitable wickedness, when 〈◊〉 grieve not so much at my particular durance, as I repine because the penury is not univerfall? While others have, I may hope for relief: but if the famine were general, I could not expect it. This is the wickedness of most which sulfer, that they vailew their miseries more by comparison then justice; and deem themselves the more unhappy, because every one else is not so low as they. I must therefore take heed that I neither offend in my sufferance, nor repine because I am singular. If I take this hunger as a chastisement from God, I may hope to be relieved in his own good time. Let me inquire into the cause of this my visitation; and so I may be instructed how to demean myself. In the depth of this affliction I cannot choose but behold an angry Lord. He, o he is offended, who said in the Psalms, Every beast of the forest is mine; Ps: 50.10. vers: 11 vers. 12 and the cattles upon a thousand hills. I know all the fowls of the mountains; and the wild beasts of the field are mine. The world is mine, and the fullness thereof. He hath enough, I see, to give; though he deemeth me not worthy enough to receive. I am afraid that I formerly thanked him not for what I had; and therefore now he decreeth that I shall wish to have. It hath been commonly his custom thus to punish those that offended. To disobedient Israel he threatened this, and also the sword, Deut. 28.48: by the mouth of Moses, saying, Thou shalt serve thine enemies which the Lord shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, & in want of all things. Again, of impenitent Israel he saith by his Prophet, Is. 9.20 He shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arms. Touching jerusalem he said by his Prophet Ezekiel, Eze: 4.10. Thy meat which thou shalt eat, shall be by weight; twenty shekels a day: from time to time shalt thou eat it. vers. 11 Thou shalt drink also water by measure; the sixth part of an Hin from time to time shalt thou drink. vers. 12 And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes; and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, vers. 13 in their sight. And the Lord said unto him, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them. Among other curses which Israël should endure for rebellion, and disobedience, the forerunner of famine was not the least. Deut: 28.39. Thou shalt plant vine yards, and dress them; but shalt neither drink of the wine, nor gather of the grapes; for the worms shall eat them. Among other punishments sent upon idolaters, the Prophet terrifieth them with this above all: When they shall be hungry, Is: 8.21. they shall fret themselves, and curse their King, and their God, and look up-wards. Here was almost all the misery that man could suffer, & the wickedness that he could act, in this present world. Hunger was sent as a punishment for idolatry; and rebellion, blasphemy, and impenitency were the effects of the punishment. Hunger produceth rebellion; they curse their King: rebellion blasphemy; they curse their God: and blasphemy both impudence, and impenitency; they look up-wards, towards heaven, as if they were not ashamed. The curse which should happen to the enemies of Zion was accounted great, because they should be resembled to people that are hungry: c: 29.8. As when a hungry man dreameth, and behold he eateth; but he awaketh, and his soul is empty: or, as when a thirsty man dreameth, and behold he drinketh; but he awaketh, and behold he is faint, and his soul hath appetite: So shall the multitude of the nations be, that fight against mount Zion. But what is the cause why the anger of the most high is commonly discovered in the curse of famine? What moveth the Lord to punish his creatures with this pining destruction? Whence ariseth his wrath, that his vengeance is so terrible? Alas, alas, I need not wonder that his fury is so fierce, if I do but remember how justly he punisheth. He smiteth not, before we offend: he punisheth not, before we transgress. When our sins are so impudent, as to provoke his displeasure, how can he choose but awake, Ps: 78.65. as one out of sleep; & like a mighty man that shouteth by reason of wine? For iniquity only doth he visit: he visiteth our offences with the rod; Ps. 89.32. and our sin with scourges. For this did he give Israël cleanness of teeth, Amos. 4.6. in all their cities; and want of bread in all their places: yet they returned not unto the lord 2. Sam: 21.1. For Saul, and for his bloody issue, because he slew the Gibeonites, therefore there was a famine in the days of David three years, year after year: and it ceased by the execution of seven of Saul's sons. Is: 5.13. Therefore (saith God) my people are gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge: and their honourable men are famished; and their multitude dried up with thirst. This is the punishment for sin: and yet, upon repentance, the Lord is as willing to remove it from us, as, when we offended, he was just in sending it. His promises were gracious to the Gentiles, which should be fulfiled by Christ, as his Prophet relateth them. Is: 49.10. They shall not hunger, nor thirst; neither shall the heat, nor Sun smite them: for he that hath mercy on them shall lead them; even by the springs of water he shall guide them. Yet, let me not too much forget myself. Though this famine be one of the weapons with which the Lord doth commonly fight, and wound his enemies; I must not therefore conclude that they all are forsaken, and hated, who endure this affliction. I must not conclude that, Because with this he punisheth his enemies, therefore with this he correcteth not his saints. This were but to frame an argument, to urge me to despair: and to judge myself with greater severity, than the Lord himself, I hope, will judge me. Every scourge which he taketh in his hand, may be for chastisement to the godly, as well as a judgement to the wicked. Though this must bring me to a sight of my sins; yet it may not enforce me to a distrust of his mercies. Though sometimes the godly dye under an affliction: yet they know that they shall live by the merits of Christ. We have no more freedom from punishments here, than the worst of reprobates. Yea, our portion is greater and bitterer here than theirs: 1. Cor. 11.32. but we are chastened of the Lord, that we might not be condemned with the world. There is a greater deal of difference between corrections, & judgements. The beloved child may be wounded as deep, yea deeper than an enemy: but the deeper his Wound, the surer is his cure. To the godly they are afflictions; to the reprobate torments: to the godly chastisements; upon the reprobate revenge. At the famine in Samaria, 1. King 18.5. good Obadiah went into the land, unto all fountains of water, and unto all brooks, to sieke for grass, that he might save the horses, and mules alive. When the Prophet jeremiah was cast into the dungeon, Ier: 38.9. he was like to die for hunger in the place; for there was no bread in the city. 1. Cor. 4.11. The holy Apostles did both hunger, and thirst, and were naked, and buffeted; and had no certain dwelling place. They were in weariness, 2. Cor. 11.27. and painefullnesse; in watch often; in hunger, and thirst; in fastings often; in cold, Act: 10 9 and nakedness. When Saint Peter went up upon the house to pray, the vision appeared to him while he was hungry. vers. 10 Saint Paul professed that he had learned both how to be abased, Phil. 4.12. and how to abound. Every where, & in all things he was instructed, both to be full, and to be hungry: both to abound, and to suffer need. Gen. 12 10. When a famine was in the land where Abraham dwelled, he was enforced to go down into Egypt, to sojourn there: for the famine was grievous in the land. Many saints, and servants of God have drunk very deep of this cup of affliction. Why should I then, be too much dejected; and complain so of want, as if God had forgotten me? How know I to the contrary, but it may be his pleasure, even by this affliction, to bring me to humility, and so unto glory? It is my part to thank him for his visitation; and not to repine at his correction. Plenty is commonly the ground of forgetfulness. I should never have known the benefit of fullness, if I had not learned it by an empty belly. I will therefore beg of him a blessing to this cross; that the more I want of outward blessings, the more eagerly I may sieke for inward content. I will resolve, Hab. 3.17. with the Prophet, that, Although the figtree shall not blossom; neither fruit be in the vines: though the labour of the Olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield me no meat: though the flocks shall be cut off from the foald, vers. 18 & there shall be no heard in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will joy in the God of my salvation. Rom. 8 35. Neither tribulation, nor distress, nor persecution cut, nor famine, nor nakedness, nor sword shall ever separate me from the love of Christ. I know that he which can send provisions without content; can likewise feed me, when I least expect it. Hag. 1.6. Ye have sowed much (saith the Prophet) and bring in little: ye eat, but ye have not enough: ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink: ye cloth you, but there is none warm: and he that earneth wages: earneth wages, to put in a bag with holes. The curse is as great, to eat without satisfaction; as to want what we desire. I know that God oftentimes hath sent a famine, that so his people might the more depend upon him. So hath his goodness many times appeared, Gen: 42 5. when men had least expectation of supplies. True it is, that, when the famine was sore in the land of Canaan, the Sons of Israel bought corn in Egypt. Men have ever valued their bellies above their estates. In the Egyptian famine joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh the King: c: 47.20 for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh's. When Esau was faint, coming out of the field, and jacob refused him a mess of pottage, under the price of his birthright; c: 25.32. vers: 33 he said, Behold I am at the point to die, and what profit shall this birth right do to me? So he sold his birthright unto jacob. The Prophet lamenting the people of jerusalem, Lam: 1.11. says, All her people sigh; they seek bread: they have given their pleasant things for meat, to relieve the soul. All these have been furnished by ordinary means: but I also read that God hath provided, when men could least expect, 1. King 17.10. vers: 12 or help. When the widow of Zarephath had nothing left but a poor handful of meal in a barrel, and a little oil in a cruse; and went out to gather two sticks, that she might go in, and dress it for her, and her son, that they might eat it, and die: even than she received comfort from the Prophet Elijah: vers: 16 for her harrell of meal wasted not; neither did the cruse of oil fail; as the Lord had spoken by the mouth of the Prophet. When the selfsame Prophet, by the command of God, dwelled by the brook Cherith, that is before jordan (even before the increase of the meal, vers: 5. and the oil was miraculously effected) in a wonderful manner he was fed by the Ravens: vers. 6. for they brought him bread, and flesh in the morning; and bread, and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook. Again; when the same Elijah fled to Beersheba, upon the threats of jezebel; c: 19.4. he went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came, and sat under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself, that he might die, and said, It is enough now, o Lord; take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. vers. 5. Yet as he lay and slept under the juniper tree, behold there an Angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise, vers. 6. and eat. And when he looked, and behold there was a cake baked on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head; he did eat, and drink; and laid him down again. vers: 7. And the Angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise, and eat. vers: 8. And be arose again the second time, and did eat; and went in the strength of the meat forty days. Gen: 21 14. When Abraham risen up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child Ismaël; and sent her away; and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba: after a while, the water was spent in the bottle; vers: 15 and she, poor soul, vers. 16 cast the child under one of the shrubbs: And she went, and sat her down over against him, a good way off, as it were a bow shoot (for she said, Let me not see the death of the child) And she sat over against him, vers. 17 and lift up her voice, and wept. Yet, even then, God heard the voice of the lad; and the Angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee Hagar? Fear not, for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, vers. 18. lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; vers. 19 for I will make of him a great nation. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink. Thus my God, if he please, can do for me too: for I cry, and I weep, with distressed Hagar; not for drink, Ps. 145 19 but bread: Who knoweth but the Lord may hear my cry, and may help me? The birds that nest in the Cedars of Lebanon; the goats on the hills, and the coneys in the rocks; the beasts of the forests, and the roaring Lions; the creeping things in the great and wide sea, and the Leviathan which is made to play in the waters; Ps. 104 27. These all wait upon him, job. 38.41. Ps. 145.15. that he may give them their meat in due season. He provideth for the Raven his food: when his young ones cry unto God, they wander, for lack of meat. The eyes of all wait upon him, and he giveth them their meat in due season. vers. 16 He openeth his hand and satisfieth the desire of every living thing. Why then should I vex, and torment myself in this time of want, as if either the Lord were ignorant of my calamity; or else were unable, or unwilling to help me? I resolve with myself, that, though the conflict be great between myself and my appetite; though my stomach cry, and my belly complain; though leanness possesseth my cheeks, and paleness setteth up its rest in my countenance; though feeblnesse stealeth upon my joints, and faintness on my spirits; yet will I not leave my confidence in my God. I shall not the sooner purchase my desires, by declining his mercy. If any thing cometh, it is sent by his providence: if nothing cometh, yet still I have God, who is the best of all. If it be his pleasure to bring me to the earth by this consuming want, my body indeed shall yield the less food to the worms; but my soul shall be filled with unspeakable comforts. Lord, what a base lump of clay is this, which would so tyrannize over my soul, as to make it leave its confidence in thee! What art thou that complainest, and yawnest and gapest so greedily for satisfaction? Thou art but earth, at the best; and by the earth thou hast been fed; and to the earth thou shalt return. The food which thou desirest, is a thing to be loathed, if thou didst but consider in what manner thou wert furnished. The earth produceth grass, for the food of the beasts: they are fatted, to furnish the tables of men: and when men do plentifully feed upon them, the least part thereof conduceth to their nourishment; the most of it goeth out into the draff: and even that which is putrified, it returns to the earth again, to render it fertile. Thus we live by excrements; and we are fed by putrefaction. That which we loathe both in the scent, and the sight, is forgotten when we feed upon it in our bread. Thus I pine then, for nothing but dung, and filth; for want whereof, my belly would force me to repine against my maker. Our fowls are fed with the filthy worms that proceed from our dung hills: our fishes are composed of mud, and slime: our beasts are nourished by virtue of that which we loathe to remember: and from all these is patched up such a body, as at the second, or third hand, is nothing but dung, or whatsoever is worse. Were it not shame then, for me to suffer this body, which being dead, in three or four days will be odious to the living, to entice my soul to rebel against my maker? O, I may not; I will not. This leanness doth but lecture to me, what I am framed of; and the soul is comforted in the weakness of the prison. That better part doth long to dwell with the father of spirits. Each bit I should eat, Heb: 12 9 would but delay my time; and retard the fruition of a crown of glory. O my God be pleased to send me thy blessing as well in want, as in plenty; that so I may decree, and resolve with Saint Paul, in whatsoëver state I am, Phil: 4.11. there with to be content. Thus I should be; and thus I desire to be: for hunger, with content, is better than feasting; and feasting, without it, is worse than famine. If God in his wisdom seethe it good for me that I should be filled, I doubt not of his providence in sending what is good. I will (as I ought) sieke the ordinary means for the preservation of life. I will industriously labour, or earnestly besiech, or painfully travail for that which may nourish me. If it cometh as I desire, I will thank him who sendeth it: if it cometh not as I wish, howsoëver I will labour to be content with my lot. Him will I honour both in plenty, and in want: and to his disposing will I yield up myself. True it is that he created meats for the belly, 1. Cor: 6.13. and the belly for meats: but yet he will destroy both it, and them. He hath sent me this affliction to physic my soul: and to put me in mind how nicely I have refused in plenty, what now I should thankfully receive in my want. Those that are full, are apt to surfeit; and hasten with more disturbance to the gates of the grave, than we who in hunger do willingly meet, and desire our death. Yet I am not so unwilling to live, as that I would refuse my nourishment, though of the meanest sort: nor am I so unwilling to die, Prov. 27.7. as by unlawful means to satisfy my appetite. The full soul loatheth an hony-comb: but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. I dare not imitate the Israelites, who murmured and repined against Moses and Aaron, Ex: 16.3. and said unto them, Would to God we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots, and when we did eat bread to the full; for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness, to kill this whole assembly with hunger. What would it advantage me, if God in his judgement should send me my desires? Is it not better to partake of his mercy in misery, then of his displeasure in plenty? Ps. 78.27. vers. 28 At the desire of the Israëlites he reigned flesh upon them as dust, and feathered fowls like as the sand of the sea: And he let it fall in the midst of the camp, round about their habitations: vers. 29 So they did eat, and were filled; vers. 30 he gave them their own desire; they were not estranged from their lust. Those on whom he reigned down Manna to eat, vers. 24 and gave them of the corn of heaven; even they were likewise stored with the flocks of the Quails. But their sweet meat had sour sauce: vers. 30 vers. 31 for while their meat was yet in their mouths, the wrath of God came upon them, and slew the fattest of them; Prov. 10.22. and smote down the chosen men in Israël. It is only the blessing of the Lord that maketh rich; even of him who promised to the Israëlites, Ex: 23.25. if they would serve him, to bless their bread and their water and to take sickness away from the midd'est of them. He it was who moved Shobi, and Machir, 2. Sam. 17.27. and Barzillai to bring unto David at Mahanaim, and to his people that were hungry, and weary, vers. 28 and thirsty in the wilderness, both beds, and cups, and earthen vessels: and wheat, and barley, and flower, and parched corn, and beans, and lentils, and parched pulse, And honey, vers. 29 and butter, and sheep, and cheese of kine. Luc. 1.53. He filleth the hungry with good things, and the rich he sendeth empty away: job. 34.28. The cry of the poor cometh unto him; and he heareth the cry of the afflicted. Hungry and thirsty, Ps. 107 5. the souls of the Israëlites fainted in them: Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, vers. 6. vers. 9 and he delivered them out of their distresses. He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Thus he may do for me, as he did for them; but then I must pray, and that in faith: I must weep, and that in hope. I must remember my sins, which have deserved this punishment; yea greater than here can be inflicted upon me: and I must thank my Creator, who visiteth me in mercy. I must submit to his pleasure, and kiss the rod. Though now, as was the Prodigal, Lu: 15.14. vers: 16 I am brought into want, and feign would fill my belly even with the husks that swine do eat, but no man giveth them unto me. vers. 17. Though I know that many hired servants have bread enough, and to spare; and yet I am ready to perish with hunger: Though thus I know my misery, yet I scarce remember the cause: But I will beg of my heavenly father, vers: 17 that I may come unto myself; and than that myself may come unto him. I know that he is angry; and his wrath is terrible: but if I absent myself, his displeasure will increase. The longer I strive to keep out of his sight, the more will be his severity, and the more grievous my punishment. vers: 18 I will therefore arise, and go to my father, and say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, vers: 19 and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy child: make me as one of thy hired servants. job 42.6. Ps: 102.9. Ps: 80.5 I will abhor myself in dust, and ashes. As David did, so will I: I will eat ashes as it were bread; and I will have plenteousness of tears to drink. I will mourn for my sins, which have caused this judgement: and with my tears in mine eyes, & compunction in my heart, and humility in my soul, I will fall on my knees before his footstool, and pray unto him, and say, The Prayer. Almighty, and all-sufficient Lord God, who by thy power didst lay the foundations of the world; and by thy providence dost guide, & protect the things therein contained; be pleased to look upon the sorrows, and sufferances of thy distressed servant. Thou knowest my wants before I ask, and seest how low I am brought with hunger. The inferior creatures thou fillest with plenty; but me thou sufferest to pine with famine. Shall not the cries of the hungry pierce thine ears? Shall the soul of the empty be despised by its maker? Hear, Lord, Ps: 30.10. and have mercy: o be thou my helper. Thou knowest how I groan under the burden of this affliction: and wilt thou always know it, and never remove it? where are thy mercies which thou show'dst to thine Israelites? Where is they goodness which was manifested to he widow of Sarepta? Thou canst not decrease in thy mercies, nor forget thy compassion. The stomach crye's, and the belly cries, and a poor languishing soul cries unto thee, o Lord, in the depth of distress. O my father, shut not up thy merciful ears to my prayers; but hear me in heaven, and secure me with thy relief. Thy store will not be lessened, nor thy treasure diminished, by sparing to me a morsel of bread. Lord, if it may stand with thy good will, preserve me from death and deliver me from this famine: or else arm me with patience, that I may undergo thy chastisement with comfort, and content. O thou Saviour of the world, to whom the cursed jews gave gall to eat, Ps. 69.21. and when thou wert thirsty, even vinegar to drink; do thou ease my grief, and hearken to my complaint. Thou in thy humanity didst seel the wants of these outward things; and knowest what grief, and anguish I suffer. To Samaria thou sentest plenty beyond expectation, 2. King 7.18. in the space of a night. Thou art neither confined to time, nor tied to the means: thou canst send me comfort, even above my hopes. Lord, either send me plenty, or bless my want; that so I may willingly submit to thy pleasure, and patiently suffer what thou hast decreed. Though my body languish for want of sustenance, yet fill thou my soul with the riches of thy goodness. Amos. 8.11. 2. Chr. 15.3. O let me never be cursed with a famine of thy word: Let me never be as once the Israëlites were, without thee the true God, & without a teaching Priest, and without law. Howsoëver thou disposest of the outward man, let not my soul want its spiritual nourishment, whereby it should be fed to a life immortal. It was thy meat, o Christ, Io: 4.34. to do the will of him that sent thee, and to finish his work. Grant, o jesus, that I may follow thy steps; and make it my food, and my delight, to fulfil thy commandments. Let me not labour here for the meat that perisheth, c. 6.27 so much as for that meat which endureth to everlasting life: My body is thine; dispose of it as thou pleasest. My soul is thine; preserve it in holiness. Lord be gracious to me thy child, Gen. 43 29. and comfort me now in this great extremity, that so I may neither offend thee in my sufferance, nor despair of thy providence: but that wholly relying upon thy gracious goodness, I may suffer with thankfulness whatsoëver thou pleasest; and than that my sufferances may end in happiness. Hear me, blessed God, and help me, for the worthiness of thy Son; in whose name, & words I farther call upon thee, saying Mat. 6.9.10.11.12.13. Our father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy Kingdom come: thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven: give us this day our daily bread: and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us: and lead us not into temptation: but deliver us from evil; for thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen. THE THIRD soliloquy. Treating of thirst, both bodily, and ghostly. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe Prophet bewailing the distressed estate of afflicted Zion, complaineth thus: Lam. 4.4. The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his mouth, for thirst: the young children ask bread, and no man breaketh it unto them. They that did feed delicately are desolate in the streets: vers. 5. they that were brought up in scarlet, embrace the dunghills. Grievous was that misery the infants endured, who neither knew how to complain, nor where to be satisfied. Their tongues, which in time might relate the story, were scorched with the drought, and heat of thirst. Those little members, which as yet were not un ruely, found a punishment as if they had offended. The mother's lamenting the torments of the young ones, offered them drink from the fountains of their eyes: but so un-able was that offering to please the innocents', that their thirst increased by that which should quench it. Surely the misery was great which the babes could not utter; since mine is so severe, that I think it ineffable. The more I complain, the more thirsty I am; for the motion of the tongue increaseth the drought. jam. 3.6. The tongne that is unruely, is set on fire of hell: but mine is silent, and yet it scorcheth. That little moisture which is left in my mouth is grown so glutenous, that it bindeth my tongue to an unwilling silence. My body burneth; Ps: 69.3 Ps. 137 6. my throat is dried; my tongue cleaveth to the roof of my mouth: o I burn, I fry, and know not where to be relieved. Did the drunkards, who are mighty to pour in wine, Is: 5.22 and those who are men of strength to mingle strong drink, but know the misery which I endure, they would spare from their excess as much as would comfort me. For their own sakes they would spare the abuse of that creature for want whereof I now complain. Hab: 2.15. The Prophet pronounceth a woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink; that putteth his bottle to him, & maketh him drunken also, that he may look on his nakedness. But I do cry woe unto myself, because I have no neighbour to give me drink. Here is none that putteth his bottle to my mouth. It is not the gust of the wine, nor the strength of the drink, nor the pleasantness of the liquor, that I do covet. The limpid water would be better than wine: yea the springs, or the fountains would make me rejoice. But where, o where are those pleasant potions? Where are those snaky rivers, which curl, and wind themselves in their sporting wreaths? Alas, alas, I ask no more than what beggars disdain; and yet my desires are not fulfiled. Mine eyes do lament the greatness of my sins; and my charitable tears do woo me to give them rest in my mouth; as if repentance in this had taught them mercy. But when I thankfully accept their friendly courtesy, instead of comforters they become my tormentors. These brackish rivulets may refresh my soul; but they can never cure the thirst of my body. Me thinks they are somewhat like the wife of Heber, who entertained Sisera in a friendly manner, as he did imagine: for she covered him in her tent; Iud 4.18. vers. 19 and when he said unto her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water to drink, for I am thirsty, She opened a bottle of milk, and gave him drink, and covered him. But when he committed his wearied limbs to a sweet repose, vers. 21 she took a nail of the tent, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly to him, and smote the nail into his temples, & fastened it into the ground, and he died. Thus my tears do offer me relief; and, like unto jaël, they offer me milk instead of water: but with their saltness they increase my drought; and fasten me to the ground in my burning flames. Yet, Ps. 42.5 why art thou so cast down, o my soul; and why art thou so disquieted within me? Hope thou in thy God; vers. 7. for I will yet praise him, who shall be the help of my countenance, and my God. Ps. 43.5 All his waves, and storms do go over me; and yet I cry for water, in the midst of the waves. I cry, and by my cries I increase my misery: & yet cry I must; I am enforced to it by my fires, by my drought: and yet hope I will too; even in my God will I hope; for I am invited unto it by his mercy. He promised to his servants, by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Is. 41.17. When the poor and needy sieke water, and there is none; & their tongue faileth for thirst; I the Lord will hear them: I the God of Israël will not forsake them. I will open rivers in high places; and fountains in the midst of the valleys: vers. 18 I will make the wilderness a pool of water, & the dry land springs of waters. Now, o my God, is the time that I look for the fullfilling of this promise: for, water I sieke, but none I find. I am poor, & needy: my very tongue faileth for thirst; and upon thee therefore do I call. I am sure that my God cannot promise more than he can, nor will he promise more than he will, perform. Time was when the Israëlites pitching in Rephidim, Ex: 17.1. vers: 2. there was no water for the people to drink: Wherefore the people did chide with Moses, and said, Give us water, that we may drink; And Moses said unto them, Why chide ye with me? Wherefore do ye tempt the Lord? vers: 3. And the people thirsted there for water, and the people murmured against Moses, and said, Wherefore is this, that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us, and our children, vers: 5. and our cattles with thirst? And the Lord said unto Moses, Go on before the people, and take with thee of the Elders of Israël; and thy rod, wherewith thou smotest the river, take in thine hand, and go. Behold I will stand before thee, there, upon the rock in Horeb; vers: 6. and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink: And Moses did so, in the sight of the children of Israël. Thus I thirst, as did the Israëlites; but I will not murmur, as did the Israëlites; because the God of Israël is my God. I may not displease him, with repining at my sufferings; lest with his rod he smite me, as did Moses the stone. All that I can hope for must come by my prayers, and my patience through the merits, of my saviour. It is not Meribah, or Massah; my temptation, vers: 7. or my chiding, that will prevail for my comfort. He may give me water, and then punish me with fire. O what do those damned souls in the infernal flames suffer, Lu: 16.24. where Dives begged of Abraham to have mercy on him, and to send Lazarus that he might dip, though but, the tip of his finger in water, and cool his tongue; because he was tormented in the flames! If I compare my sufferings with my desert, I shall the easier endure this gentle fire. This cannot be comparable to the fire of hell: and that I have deserved, yet suffer but this. The merciful Lord so sanctify this sufferance, that the fire which I merit may be extinguished by my tears, assisted with the blood of the Lamb un-spotted: and then I shall rejoice in this chastisement. At Kadesh once, in the wilderness of Zin, there was no water for the congregation: Num: 20.2. vers: 7. vers: 8. and they gathered themselves together against Moses, and against Aaron. And the Lord spoke unto Moses, saying, Take the rod, and gather thou the assembly together, thou, and Aaron thy brother; and speak ye unto the rock before their eyes: and it shall give forth its water; and thou shalt bring forth water to them, out of the rock: so thou shalt give the congregation, and their beasts drink. verse 9 vers. 10 And Moses took the rod from before the Lord, as he commanded him: And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, Hear now ye rebels: must we fetch you water out of the rock? vers. 11 And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice; and the water came out abundantly; and the congregation drank, and their beasts also. Well might this rod flourish with blossoms, c: 17.8. which had power to command water out of the rocks. Thus was Israël watered by miracle; and the thirst of the people was slacked by the waters which issued even from the stones. But Moses is dead; and the rod is not heard of; & the rock I find not: Ps. 18.2 Ps. 23.2 yet will I not despair. The Lord shall be my rock; and he shall lead me to waters of comfort. When Samson had slain a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass, jud. 15.18. he was sore a thirst; and called on the Lord, and said, Thou hast given this great deliverance into the hand of thy servant; and now shall I die for thirst, and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised? vers. 19 But God clavae an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water thereout; and when he had drunk, his spirit came again, Mat. 19 26. and he revived. Thus with God are all things possible. Since than I know it exceedeth not his power to help me in this misery, I will certainly rely upon the hope of his goodness. When Mesha rebelled, jehoram, with jehoshaphat, and the King of Edom fetched a compass of seven day's journey; and there was no water for the host, 2. King 3.9. vers. 15 and for the cattles that followed them. Then Elisha said, Bring me a minstrel. And it came to pass, when the minstrel played, that the hand of the Lord came upon him: And he said, vers: 16 Thus saith the Lord, Make this valley full of ditches; for thus saith the Lord, vers: 17 Ye shall not see wind, neither shall ye see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, that ye may drink, both ye, and your cattles, and your beasts. vers: 18 And this is but a little thing in the sight of the Lord: he will deliver the Moabites also into your hand. vers: 20 And it came to pass in the morning, when the meate-offering was offered, that behold there came water by the way of Edom and the country was filled with water. Lord I am one of the valleys; I am the lowest, the meanest, the worst of thy people: o send thy waters into the lowest valley, that I may rejoice in thy mercy, and praise thee for thy liberality. But while I complain of the drought of my body, me thinks I forget that spiritual thirst which should make me blessed. Those my Redeemer pronunceth blessed, Mat: 5.6. who do hunger, and thirst after righteousness; for they shall be filled. If I have not a thirst more spiritual than corporal, I may justly suspect myself to be of the number of those Wicked ones, of whom the Prophet speaketh, saying, Thus saith the Lord God, Is: 65.13. Behold my servants shall eat, but ye shall be hungry: behold my servants shall drink, but ye shall be thirsty: behold my servants shall rejoice, but ye shall be ashamed. My Saviour told the woman of Samaria at jacobs' well, Io: 4.13 vers: 14 saying, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him, shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water, springing up into everlasting life. Here is no jacobs well to cool my tongue; Ps: 36.9 but the well of life is present, and open. True it is that this well is deep, and I have nothing to draw: I have no goodness to merit it; and scarce have I a heart to desire it: yet Lord, such as I am, I come unto thee. Myself I renounce; & I fly to the worthiness of Christ my Redeemer. For his sake, o my God, give me that water, that I thirst not again. For that water do I long, more then for the rivers of waters which encompass the earth. 2. King. 5.12. Neither Abanah, nor Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus; Noah nor jordane itself is comparable unto this. Thou, o Christ, art this well; Io: 6.35 thou art this water. Thou hast promised that he which cometh to thee, shall never hunger; & he which believeth in thee, shall never thirst. For thee, Ps: 42.1 o Saviour, I thirst: for thy salvation I cry, and entreat. As the Hart panteth for the water brooks; so panteth my soul after thee, o God. vers: 2. My soul thirsteth for God; for the living God: When shall I come, & appear before God? O God my soul thirsteth for thee; Ps: 63.1 my flesh longeth for thee, in a dry, and thirsty land, where no water is. No more will I mind this body of earth; or howsoëver, not so wholly bend my thoughts upon the quenching the thirst of this parched clay. This will I refer to the disposal of my God; & pray for comfort; but only conditionally. If he shall account it fit for me to die by this present thirst; & that my moisture shall be turned into the drought of summer; Ps: 32.4 I shall willingly submit. Howsoëver since his will is yet kept secret from me, I will pray for that which may yield me comfort; but only conditionally, if it may stand with his liking. But as touching my poor, dry, thirsty soul, I will pray directly, peremptorily, and absolutely; beseeching him to refresh it with the dew of his grace. He promised by his Prophet, Is: 35.7 that The parched ground should become a pool, & the thirsty land springs of waters. I am that parched ground; my languishing soul is that thirsty land: Lord send me that pool; and those springs of waters. By the same Prophet again he promised to his Church, and said, I will pour water upon him that is thirsty; and floods upon the dry ground: c: 44.3. I will pour my spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thy offspring. This is his promise indeed: but may I be so bold as to put him in mind of it. Yes, yes; do so, o my soul. He loveth it: he delighteth in it. Bashfulness in these cases, is but dull stupidity; seeing thou hast authority to speak with confidence. We must come boldly unto the throne of grace, Heb: 4.16. that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. I will not leave him therefore; I will not forsake him: I will hang upon him; I will follow him; for those only speed who are earnest in their suits. He keepeth us off, only to heighten our desires, not to deny our requests. He seemeth to be angry when we begin to petition; but we mistake the cause. he's displeased because we came no sooner; or because we come on no faster. Whatsoever he hath promised, he will undoubtedly make good, if we are not weary, and slack in soliciting. It is his delight to see us earnest: and our reward shall be greater, if we continue in our industry. This is my way; and thus I will follow him. He who sat upon the throne, Reu: 21 6. and said, It is done: I am Alpha, and Omega, the beginning and the end: even the same Lord said, I will give unto him that is a thirst, of the fountain of the water of life freely. He inviteth me by his Prophet, and speaketh to me among the rest, when he saith, Is: 55.1. Ho every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money: come and buy, and eat; yea come and buy wine, and milk without money, Reu: 22 17. & without price. The Spirit and the Bride (saith Saint john) say Come; and let him that heareth, say Come; and let him that is a thirst Come: and whosoever will, let him take of the water of life freely. I am thirsty; he hath promised therefore to me the fountains of the water of life. I am thirsty, and yet I am poor, and have not wherewith to buy what I need. My deeds are wicked, and of no validity: my words are idle, and deserve no good: my thoughts are sinful, & cannot merit. What then? Shall I starve for want, because I have not price to give? No, Noah; me it is he calleth unto, that I may buy without money: me he meaneth to make partaker of his promise. I will buy what I want; but I can give nothing but tears: or at most (which indeed is the best, even) the blood of him who was slain for my peace. But why do I call that blood mine own? May I safely do it? Yes; it was his; but it is mine. Because he needed not that price as a ransom for himself; he gave it to me, and all the faithful to purchase our redemption. This, o father, I offer unto thee: upon my knees I tender it, with a lowly heart, and a bleeding soul, and a submissive speech, praying unto thee, and saying. The Prayer. GRacious father, Ps: 123.1. Mat: 5.45. thou that dwellest in the heavens, and from heaven dost send the rain both on the just, and the unjust; take pity, and compassion on the meanest of thy servants, who cryeth unto thee out of the depth of misery. O my God thou seest how I am dried up with thirst; and am weary of my life, for want of thy comforts. I know that thou hast power to break a cloud; and canst command it to water my parched body. Thou canst give me drink out of the windows of heaven: Gen: 7.11. or canst cause the earth to answer my desires. Ps: 6: 1. Lord rebuke me not in thine anger; neither chasten me in thy heavy displeasure. I must confess that I have worthily deserved thy severest punishments; and most justly therefore do I feel the heat of thine anger in my burning thirst. Ps: 79.5 But, Lord, shall thy displeasure burn like fire for ever? Shall it never be allayed with the showers of my tears; or with that which infinitely exceede's them, both in value, and power; even the drops of blood which fell from my Redeemer? O thou who with a stroke of a rod didst make the relenting rocks to relieve the thirsty; do thou be pleased to pity the complaint of a fainting sinner. Cool my body which burneth with heat, and refresh me now in this extremest anguish, if it may stand with thy gracious will, and pleasure. If thou seest it fitting that my life should be prolonged, afford me the means for the preservation thereof. On thee alone do I depend; and to thee alone do I address my supplication. To thee I refer the disposing of this parched, and dried earth; humbly beseeching thee to bend my will to submit unto thine. O let me never utter any words of despair, or discontent; but in all my groans let me acknowledge thy justice. Holy Father be pleased to fix my thoughts upon my inward man; that my care may be greater for the spirit, them the flesh. I want that spiritual desire which thou requirest: I thirst for that thirst. My soul is dry, for want of thy grace; and so seered is my conscience, that I know not my miseries. Lord open mine eyes, that I may see my wants; that so my thirst may be turned into a thirst for thy mercy. Thou, o God, art rich, but I am poor: thou art filled with blessings, but I am not yet so much as sensible of my want of them. O give me both a sight of my poverty, and a desire of thy grace; and then grant unto thy servant according to my desires. I thirst, Lord; I thirst after thee the wellspring yea the ocean of mercy. O send me but a drop of thy heavenly ocean, that it may increase in me a desire of enjoying thyself. Ps: 36.8 Give me to drink of thy pleasures as of a river; that so I may refer my body to thy holy will; & willingly yield this dust to thy disposal. Gen: 3.19. This dust shall return to the dust whence it came; but o let my soul be valued so dear in thy sight, that it may here have a taste of thy bottomless bounty; & hereafter be admitted to the paradise of thee my God. Reu: 2.7. Hear me, o father, and grant my requests, Zech: 13.1. for the worthiness of him who opened unto me a fountain for sin, even jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour, Amen. soliloquy 4 THE FOURTH soliloquy. Treating of Nakedness both of the outward, and in-ward man. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen Noah was overcome with the wine which he had drank, sleeping he lay un-covered in his tent. Gen: 9.21. vers: 22 Accursed Ham saw the nakedness of his father, and told his brethren: but Shem, and japhet took a garment, vers: 23 and laid it on both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father: and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness. All these were the sons of one, and the selfsame father; but they differed in conditions, as if they had not been hrothers. One was so unnatural, that he seemed to boast in the folly of his parent: and when wine had disturbed the brain of his father, and the heat of the drink had laid him naked; the wicked son (as rejoicing at his weakness) told his brethren the effect of the drunkenness. But the other two (blushing at the effect, as well as the cause) modestly hid, what ought to be concealed. Such a Ham have I: it is my poverty: Only, in this it differeth from the son of Naoh, that it first inebriateth me, and then uncovereth me. I am so intoxicated with want, that it bereaves me of my senses; and, being thus poor, it leave's me naked. O where shall I find a Shem, or a japhet, to cover my nakedness? I am clothed indeed; Zech: 3 3. but it is with rags, and filthy garments, as bad or worse than was joshua, when once he stood before the Angel. Such an Angel I want, vers: 4. as was he who spoke unto them that were before him, and said, Take away the filthy garments from him. The cause of my shame is sin: the cause of my poverty is mine iniquity. O that the Angel of the covenant would say unto me, Behold I have caused thine iniquity to pass from thee; and I will thee with change of raiment! Me thinks I look like the counterfeiting Gibeonites, when by craft they obtained a league with joshua: Ios: 9.4 for they took old sacks upon their asses; and wine bottells old, and rend; and bound up: vers: 5. And old shoes, and clouted upon their feet; and old garments upon them; and all the bread of their provision was dry, and mouldy. Ierusalem's curse is fallen upon me: as God threatened her, so am I punished. Eze: 16 39 I will give thee (saith the Lord) into thine enemy's hand and they shall throw down thine eminent place and shall break down thine high places: they shall strip thee also of thy , and shall take thy fair jewels, and leave thee naked, and bare. It is thus with me too. Poverty is mine enemy, into whose hands I am fallen: It hath thrown down mine eminent place; it hath dejected my countenance: My high places it hath broken down; my lofty thoughts, and proud imaginations: It hath also stripped me of my clothes, and took away my fair jewels; and thus hath it left me naked, and bare. The curse which David wished to his enemies, hath seized on me; Ps: 109 29. for I am clothed with shame; and covered with confusion, as with a mantle. And yet, if I truly consider the state I am in, I cannot deny but my sufferance is just: for apt I have been to wish evil to others, and the same is fallen now upon myself. In my passion I have been ready to myself with cursing, vers: 18 like as with a garment; and it is now come into my bowels like water, and like oil into my bones. O that I could bemoan myself of my former prosperity, as job did himself; and that I could as truly say of myself, that I put on righteousness, and it clothed me: job. 29.14. my judgement was a robe, and a diadem. But, for want of that robe of righteousness, I am clothed now with the rags of poverty; in so much that I am almost as much ashamed of the cover of my nakedness, as I am to appear naked without a covering. Where, o where, is that courteous Saul, 2. Sam: 1.24. at whose death King David lamenting, sang this Elegy, Ye daughters of Israël weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with other delights; who put on ornaments of gold upon your appearell? Alas, here is neither scarlet, nor ornaments; Noah nor a Saul to bestow them on me. Mat: 11 8. Luc: 16 19 They that wear soft clothing are in King's houses. It is for such as Dives was, to be clothed in purple, and fine linen: I can expect no such costly cover. But is not my heart desirous of the gayest robes? Is not my mind employed in wishes for such vanities? Let me not deceive myself. When I see another sumptously arrayed, does not the sight thereof incline me to pride? Can I not dispense with the vanity of silks, and colours, and fashions, if I had but means to purchase, or procure them? Do not I honour the person for the borrowed habit; and value more the richness of the , than the virtue of the person? I fear that my heart is not truly humbled: for if I long for that which now I am denied; if my mind submit not to the weakness of my fortunes, it is much to be feared I am poor in habit, but not in spirit. But whence proceed my murmur, and discontents? Why am I so desirous of sumptuous apparel? Do colours add any thing at all to the heat? Or do only silks, and costly stuffs preserve the body from the view of spectators? Certainly the coursest wool which groweth on the sheep, hath power enough both to cover, and to warm. From whence then proceedeth the ground of my discontent? Is it not from pride; yea such pride as standeth not either with religion, or reason? Religion forbiddeth it; Iam: 4.6. for God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace to the humble. Reason contradicteth it: for why should we strive for a pompous covering, and to outvie each other in the glory of our garments, when as all of us have been equally naked at our births; and shall equally return to the earth our mother? Those silks which so highly are valued in our esteem, are but the entrails of a very worm, which seemeth to lie as an agent for the tempter. She seeing how vainly we magnify her esteem, preserveth her value by loss of her bowels: and all to maintain the pride of fools. But why should it retain such respect among us; as if the carcanet were much more worth than the jewel; or the labour of a worm were of more account than the skin of a Christian? If we prise the colour that's set on the silks, we dote upon that which is fond made, and quickly decayed. Some borrow of the tree the berry that dies; and some of the fields the her●s that colour; and some of the earth, that which fitt's for a tincture: and yet, when the choicest colours are set on our silks, we cannot deny them all to be stains. Me think's the very flowers chide our madness for our esteem of colours. The Lily is afraid lest we should adore its whiteness; and the fear thereof enforceth a paleness. The Tulip blusheth at the simplnesse of our opinions: and to teach us our vanity, it withereth in a day. Our cover are only remembrancers of our fall: & yet to increase the number of our sins, we have added pride to the necessity of apparel. We magnify ourselves in these emblems of our disobedience; and render them such honour, as if we rejoiced at our misery. Nothing upon earth offended the Creator, but only our parents: and nothing therefore, save only their offspring, doth borrow a covering. It is true indeed that the wretchedness of our condition was the parent of a virtue: for modesty had no name in the time of innocency. This virtue is since become a duty: but we outdo our commands in the excess of our apparel. But what can we wear, which properly, and truly may be termed ours? Or how long can that continue, which we borrow of the creatures? The Parrot, the Finch, and the bird of Paradise; all these outshine us in the variety of colours; and in their natural glory teach us the vanity of our imitating art. Those colours which we have, are not properly ours; nor can their beauty long continue; for they die at that instant when they first begin. Why then do I vex and repine at my want of that which is so vain? In all these brave and borrowed habits, what can I discover, but sin in the necessity, and pride in the superfluity? What an idol do people make of this wandering earth; employing their time in tricking up but a dunghill! The Spanish wools, and the softer siskes have not Rhetotick enough to silence death; nor can they bar the worm from preying on the carkeise. I will therefore resolve to content myself with the meanness of my condition: and to desire no other covering, or apparel, then what may preserve me from cold, and nakedness. Necessity, and modesty plead for these: and my Saviour reckoneth it among the acts of charity, to the naked. Matt: 25.36. When judah was taken captive by Israel, and thousands of them slain, their cruëlty was so great, that the Prophet checked them for their violence to their brethren, saying, 2. Chr: 28.10. Are there not with you, even with you, sins against the Lord? Now hear me therefore, vers: 1.1. and deliver the captives again, which ye have taken captive of your brethren; for the fierce wrath of God is upon you. vers: 15 And the men which were expressed by name, rose up, and took the captives, and with the spoil clothed all that were naked among them, and arrayed them, & shod them, etc. It appeareth then that God doth not like the nakedness of a sinner, Gen: 3.21. who first did the sinners with skins. I may therefore lawfully besiech him to send me what necessity, and modesty shall require me to wear: more I dare not importune him for. But whence ariseth this my indigency? Is not my new punishment sent unto me for some old sin? In my prosperity peradventure I was guilly of pride; and therefore am humbled: Heb. 12 10. but I am chastised for my greater profit. If my God will be pleased to humble my heart; then my outward condition and that will be suitable. If he vouchsafe me a serious sight of my pride, no earthly punishment shall I think too much for so high an offence. If by this my want, he bring to my remembrance how I sought the creature more than the Creator, I shall thankfully acknowledge that I deserve this affliction. O my God do thou send me the light of thy countenance, Ps: 4.6. and I shall contemn the obloquy, and scorn of the world. All these discontents arise from the want of ornaments for the body; but what care do I take for my naked soul? There is another garment more earnestly to be sought for, besides that which should cover this outward skin. This in modesty I desire to hid; but alas I care not how naked my soul appears. That is laid open to storms, and tempests: it is ever exposed to heats, and colds: it is viewed by a spectator, whose purest eyes abhor the filth, and pollution of sin. The storms of temptations hourly beat upon it; yet I take no care to it for defence. The heats of passions, and the cold of despair do daily assail it; yet I neither hid it from the heat, nor cloth it for warmth. It is foul, and deformed; yet I neither cleanse, nor adorn it, that it might please the spectator. All my care, and complaint is for the body: but I never mind, nor provide for the spirit. Alas, this body is of short continuance, upon which I fasten my cares, and disturbances. It shall shortly moulder in the grave, where it shall speedily be converted again into dust; yea and the richest robes shall there be soon turned into rags; and the value, and account of them both shall be equal. But my soul shall not sleep in the dust with my body; but appear at the tribunal of the judge of the world. O what shall I do when I stand before him? If mine impenitency and infidellitie, do present me naked before him, he will turn me aside in great disdain. Those that are naked shall be judged, and condemned: but those which are clothed shall be crowned with bliss. Why then have I so long neglected the trimming of my wretched soul? IT is that which shall go to torments, or happiness, so soon as ever it leaveth this tabernacle of flesh. I was sent into the world to make war upon the tempter. When I shall be called to account how I fought the battle, if I plead that my garments pinioned mine arms, and manacled my hands; my very excuse will add to my punishment. I was not sent to dote upon the creature, but to glorify my Creator. If I proudly boast of my outward ornaments, that which covereth the body layeth naked the soul. O my poor soul, how art thou covered? How art thou adorned? I have so long forgotten thee, that thou art quite out of fashion. I suffered thee to wander so long without robes, that now I fear I shall have none to fit ther. There is nothing, I know, can truly cover her, but only the merits, and righteousness of Christ. Where, o where shall I find this covering? Of whom shall I beg this desired garment? There's none that can give it, but he that own's it. To thee therefore, o Christ, must I address myself: to thee will I cry: on thee will I call: of thee will I beg for God's sake, (that so he my be honoured) for pity's sake (that so I may not be damned) for charity's sake (that so I may not be rejected) yea for thine own sake, o jesus, (who here requirest the clothing of thy naked members) do thou cover me, do thou hid me, do thou adorn me with the robes of thy righteousness. Why should I be cast out from the marriage of the Lamb, for want of a garment, since thou canst spare one? Why should I forbear petitioning my jesus to furnish me; to supply my wants; since he hath promised help to them that ask? Mat: 7.7. I must have it, or I die; and therefore have it I will, or else I'll fight for it. Yea and fight I must; and conquer I must; and then I know what shall be my reward. My God hath promised that he which over-cometh, Reu: 3.5. the same shall be clothed in white raiment, I shall be taken into the number, and fellowship of them which no man could number, c: 7.9. of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues; and with them shall I be clothed with a long white robe, and a palm shall be in my hand. Wherefore, that neither the want of necessaries for the outward man, may take off my courage; nor the want of grace may hinder the conquest; I will sue for both at the hands of my Creator. I will worship, Ps: 95.6 and fall down, and kneel before the Lord my maker; and on my knees will I pray unto him, and say. The prayer. Merciful Lord, Mat: 6.30. thou who cloathest the lilies of the field, which to day are, and to morrow are cast into the oven; extend thy mercy to thy distressed servant. O my God thou seest the nakedness which I suffer, and thou feelest the cold which my body endures; for of thee, o Christ, I am a part; of thy mystical body I am a member. These mean and ragged cover do speak at once both my wants, and my desires. What shall I do, o father? Shall I no longer believe thy providence? Or shall I despair of thy power? O I dare not do either; for I know that thou canst, and wilt relieve me, when thou in thy wisdom shalt see it requisite. Blessed Lord, subdue my heart, as thou hast humbled my body; and forgive the sins of pride, and discontent which harbour therein. Many of thy Saints have wanted the things of the outward man; yet hast thou enriched their souls with the graces of thy Spirit. I know, Lord, that thou delightest not in the ornaments of the body. Thou canst give what thou wilt; and withhold what thou pleasest. Lu: 16.22. Distressed Lazarus, who for a while did lie at the gate of gorgeous Dives, was carried by Angels into Abraham's bosom. Enable me with patience to suffer my wants; and willingly to submit to thy heavenly pleasure. Ps: 104 1. O thou that art clothed with Majesty, and honour, vouchsafe to cover my naked soul. Through the merits of thy Christ let it be presented to thee both clean and unspotted. Make me to labour the purifying thereof with a flood of my tears: Io. 11.33. and accept of my groans through the righteousness of him who groaned in spirit when he beheld the tears of lamenting Marie. Holy father adorn thou my inward man with righteousness, and holiness; that it may be acceptable unto thee when it shall come to thy tribunal. Nothing can hid it from thy wrath, o father, but the garment of the righteousness of Christ my brother. Wrap me, o jesus, in that sacred mantle, that I may be hid from the wrath of the revengeful judge. Is: 50 3 O thou that cloathest the heavens with blackness, and makest sackcloth their covering; do thou apparel my soul with the blackness of sorrow, and the sackcloth of mourning for my crying offences! And so accept of my contrition, that I may hereafter appear in a long white robe with thy holy Saints, Reu: 7.9. and be admitted a member of thy church triumphant, there to reign with thee world without end, through jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. subject 8 THE EIGHTH SUBJECT. A Virgin's tears. The soliloquy. Treating of the virginity both of the body, and the soul. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe unmarried woman (saith the faithful Apostle) careth for the things of the Lord, 1. Cor. 7.25. vers: 34 that she may be holy both in body, and spirit. Such a one am I: unmarried I am: but am I such a one also in my care? Do I care for the things of the Lord, that I may be holy both in body, and spirit? This is a question not easily resolved; it is a duty not, ordinarily performed. The external form doth commonly borrow the hours of virgins: the dresses and the ornaments of the fading body employ our minutes: and our care is generally more for the day of our marriage, than the time of our account. Seldom do we value religion above our dresses; or the service of God above the ornaments of ourselves. But neither is the beauty of the countenance prevalent with the Almighty; nor the neatness of attire valued in his eyes. He love's not that care which ariseth from pride; but that which discovereth a zeal for his honour. The most admired beauty shall be shrivelled in the flames of eternal horror, unless the soul be more comely by fare then the countenance. The exactest features of the outward man do illest suit with a lascivious tongue, or an immodest thought. Devoutest virgins are always fairest; and borrow so much of the flowers of the spring, as to wear a maidens blush in the seat of beauty. My God hath given me the honour of virginity; and expecteth to be honoured both in it, and by it. If my soul be as un-spotted as my body is un-defiled, I may hope for a seat with the triumphant virgins. Reu: 14.1. With the Lamb (saith Saint john) were a hundred forty and four thousand having his father's name written in their foreheads. vers: 4. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins: these are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. That Lamb is Christ: those hundred forty and four thousand virgins are the elect: his name in their foreheads is their adoption by grace: they follow the Lamb in the purity of their souls: and in their chaste & spiritual virginity they are preserved from the pollutions, and uncleanness of the seducing tempter. With these virgins I desire to sing my part: for my sex cannot hinder the hope of immortality. With those saints which defiled not themselves with women shall accord those women not defiled with men. It was an honour to our sex, and my present condition, that my Saviour was borne of the virgin Mary. But I must know that virginity consisteth not so much in the chastity of the body, as the purity of the soul. Even those that are married may have virgin souls; and we that are virgins may be spiritual adulteresses. 1. Thes. 4.4. She that preserve's her vessel in holiness performeth a duty required by our maker: but unless to this be added the chastity of the soul, both body and soul may suffer eternally. The purest virgin is the loyallest wife: for though we never were engaged by marriage to a man; yet all of us ought to be married to Christ, 2. Cor: 11.2. Saint Paul saith that he had espoused the Corinthians to one husband, that he might present them as a chaste virgin unto Christ. This husband is mine; for to him am I espoused; to him am I wedded? But am I a loyal wife to this indulgent husband? Do I love him? Do I honour him? Do I obey him? Have I been always true, and faithful unto him? If every sin be a spiritual adultery, if every transgression be a dishonour unto him; o than my conscience will write me guilty. O my sweet husband, o my jesus what shall I say, or plead for myself? I have forsaken my redeemer to sin with the tempter, I have declined my husband to commit uncleanness with that ugly serpent: for he enticed, and I consented. Lev: 20.10. By the old law an adulteress was to suffer death. That law doth still remain in force; for death eternal is decreed as a punishment for those that dishonour my patiented husband. O what then shall I do when he shall question my disloyalty? Yet, can he be so loving as to forbear my punishment, and can he not be so merciful as freely to forgive it? O yes, he can if he please: but which way shall I endeavour thus to please him? O my jesus vouchsafe to me thy grace as thou didst once to an adulteress; and then, with her, I will weep, and lament. Be reconciled unto me as thou wast unto her; Lu: 7.38. and then will I wash thy feet with my tears; and will wipe them with the hairs of my head. I will not spare the costliest spicknard, though it drop from the wounds of my sorrowful heart. I will kiss thy feet, and anoint them with the ointment. O say of me, as thou didst of her, vers: 47 Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loveth much. Her soul was polluted; so is mine: Her body was likewise unclean; but so is not mine: yet even so had mine also been, had not he preserved me, who is the husband of my soul. Of myself I am frail, and apt to be shaken by every temptation; to him alone therefore must I render the thanks, who hath kept me from dis-honour; and to him must I pray for the continuance of his protection. But is every sin accounted adultery? Is the breach of every command an act of disloyalty? Then virginity itself seemeth to be adultery: and the chastity of the body to violate the bond of wedlock with Christ: for Saint Paul's words are peremptory, saying, I will that the younger women marry, 1. Tim. 5.14. bear children, and guide the house, etc. Never was I yet the mother of a child, nor the guide of a house, for never was I married, though the Apostle requireth it. Is it therefore an offence because I am not a wife: Thus indeed they are apt to plead, who un-willingly submit to my present condition. Saint Paul (if rightly understood) seems but to allow it, rather than command it; for when he decreeth marriage to be an ordinance of God, he doth not thereby determine virginity a crime. So fare is he from that, 1. Cor: 7.28. that though he saith, If a virgin marry, she hath not sinned; yet he concludeth saying, vers. 38 He that giveth her in marriage doth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage, doth better. Heb. 13.4. It is true that marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but only we that are virgins, Mat. 22 30. who neither marry, nor are given in marriage, are as the Angels of God in heaven. Thus is our honour as great as theirs in the bed un-defiled: yea and more honourable are we in that our condition resembleth the Angels of God. So long as I remain in this state of virginity, Gen. 3.16. Eph. 5.22. neither are my desires subject to a husband; nor am I tied to submission; nor yet are my sorrows multiplied, as are theirs who in conception are severely sensible of an hereditary punishment. True it is that I am bound to obedience; yet not to a husband whose conditions I know not; but to my parents, Ex. 20.12. of whose love I am certain. This is a knot which nothing but death can ever untie. Marriage is then but an honourable bondage accompanied with sorrows, making us subject to him that's our head, yet not freeing us from obedience to those that are our parents. But Virginity hath fewer sorrows, and less subjection; yet less too are the comforts, and fewer the blessings. It is my duty therefore to submit to the pleasure of my God; and strive to honour him, in what condition soëver I shall live. Should all decree to continue virgins, the number of saints should not be increased, nor the world remain above the space of an age. Wherefore, I will not so love virginity as contemning marriage; nor so honour marriage as undervallewing virginity. In each condition those are most honourable, who most do endeavour for the honour of God. In ancient times so great was the submission of virgins to their parents, that even their vows to God were subject to alteration at the discretion of the earthly father. So saith the law: If a woman vow a vow unto the Lord, Num. 30.3. vers. 4. and bind herself by a bond being in her father's house in her youth: And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand; and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. vers. 5. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds, wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her because her father disallowed her. If a vow to God which was made by a virgin, did thus depend upon the pleasure of her father; assuredly then, the vow of marriage ought not to pass without the parents consent. If by their indiscretion our choice be amiss, though the sufferance be ours, yet the blame is theirs: if it prove successful, our joy shall be doubled by our willing obedience. In those weighty affairs concerning wedlock, there is greatest need of a vigilant eye. It is but justice that the parent should lead her by advice, whose eye is darkened by the violence of affection. She that wed's not without counsel, lives not without comfort: for she judgeth not by the event, but rejoiceth in her obedience. Thus if I do obey the commands of my parents, I manifest myself to be a child of my God, If I willingly submit to their discretion, I may undoubtedly hope for the blessing of my maker; yea, and peradventure it may succeed beyond expectation. God hath been ever a father to those virgins, who have been faithfully obedient to his commands. In marriage there is always a hand of providence: happy are those that marry in the Lord. He was a father to the virgin Rebeckah, Gen. 24 16. Est. 2.17. when he gave her unto Isaak. He was a father to the virgin Esther, whom Ahasuerus the King so fervently loved, that he not only wedded her, but also crown'e her, yet was she alas but a poor jewesse, taken into the charitable care of her uncle Mordecai, vers. 7. after her father's and mother's decease. Thus doth the Almighty provide for those who submit to his pleasure: and labour to espouse a virgin soul to Christ the bridegroom. O my God do thou be for ever my father, and thy son my loving and affectionate husband, that my soul may be adorned with the graces of thy spirit, and be always acceptable to my dearest Lord. Can a maid forget her ornaments; jer. 2.32. (saith God by his Prophet) or a bride her attire? Yet my people have forgotten me, days without number. My soul was a virgin; but she forgot her ornaments: she was a bride, espoused to Christ; but she forgot her attire; she hath forgotten her husband days without number. The King's daughter, Ps. 45.13. vers. 14 which is all glorious with in, hath virgins for her companians when she is brought unto the King. Such a virgin should my soul have been; but alas she dares not appear in the sight of the King, because she hath left off the ornaments of her virginity. jer. 13.23. Can the Ethiopian change his skin; or the Leopard his spots? Can my soul which is deflowered with the filthiness of sin, ever hope to be reckoned among the number of virgins? Can she which hath assumed the impudency of an harlot, ever expect to be accounted modest? Can she which is deformed with the stains of iniquity, ever hope to be deemed fair, and beautiful? Alas, what shall I do? Unless my husband be reconciled unto me, it is impossible I should escape the torments of hell? Some that have offended, have found him gracious: why may not I hope for a taste of his mercy? Can I but appear in his sight with beauty, and comeliness, he would presently renew his love, and affection. O but my soul is full of deformity, and for want of care she is loathsome and ugly. But is there no recovery of a decayed form? Is there no way to restore a declined beauty? Though she be not beautiful, yet let her be comely; for thus she may be, although she is black. To work then will I go; Cant: 1.5. Is: 1.6. and wholly will I labour to make her amiable in the sight of her Lord. Alas this state and condition which she is in, is full of horror, and disconsolate torments. From the sole of the foot, even unto the head, there is no soundness in her; but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores; they have not been closed neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. Ps: 38.5. Thus do her wounds stink, and are corrupt, because of my foolishness. Thus through the stench of her wounds, and the loathsomeness of her sores, and the deformity of her scars, and the impudency of her looks, and the foulness of her face, I know not what to do to restore her to his favour. Is: 1.16. But I will endeavour to wash her, to make her clean, and to put away the evil of her do from before his eyes. With my tears I will wash her; with my tears I will cleanse her. For every spot of sin which hath defiled her, I will shed a whole fountain, a river of tears. Yet sooner can I drown myself in my tears, than they of themselves can recover her beauty. It must be thou, o my jesus, that must assist me: it must be thy blood, o my husband, which must cleanse my pollutions. Lord accept yet of my tears which are all that I can offer; and wash this thy sinful spouse in the larer of thy blood. This must be the way to regain his love, from whose affectionate bosom my soul is divorced. By this means only shall she once again be received as a virgin, though she hath played the harlot with many lovers. Ier: 3.1 Thus therefore will I come, and humbly will I crave his pardon, and forgiveness, I will besiech him to preserve my vessel in honour, and my soul in sincerity. I will beg, I will entreat, I will pray; and begging, and entreating, and praying I will say. The Prayer. BLessed Lord, Son of a virgin, who didst honour virginity when thou tookest our nature; harken to the cries of a lamenting maid. Mat: 8.8. Lord, I am not worthy to come unto thee; I am not worthy to receive any favour from thee; for I have forsaken thee my most indulgent husband, Ier: 3.1. and played the herlot with many lovers. My soul is too foul to be called thine: too often hath she broken her vows and promises, to hope for thy love, or thy gracious pardon. But Lord, what now shall I do? If yet I should fall into a despair of thy mercies, I should increase my disloyalty; and either deny, or despise the power of thy passion. So great was thy love to the Church thy Spouse, that thou gavest thyself to sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water, by the word. Eph: 5.25.26. My soul, o Christ, is a member of thy Spouse: be pleased, o jesus, so to sanctify and wash her, that thou mayest present her to thy self without spot, or wrinkle, both holy, and blameless. vers: 27 Zech: 13.1. O thou who hast opened a fountain to the house of David, and to the inhabitants of jerusalem, Ps: 51.2. for sin, and for uncleanness; do thou wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Lord as in mercy thou hast given me chastity of body; so give me likewise the chastity of mind, and the purity of soul. Suffer not either the flesh, or the Devil by their wicked suggestions to seduce me to uncleanness. Though I am a weak, 1 Pet: 3.7. 2 Cor: 4.7. Act. 9.15. Rom: 9.23. 1 Thes: 4.4. vers. 5. though but an earthen vessel; yet be thou pleased to make me a chosen vessel, a vessel of mercy. Cause me to keep the vessel of my body, and to possess it in sanctification, and honour; and not in the lust of concupiscence, like the Gentiles, which know thee not. O be thou my father in the grace of adoption; be thou my brother in thy pity, and compassion; be thou my husband in thy love, and affection; and be thou my jesus in the salvation of my sick, and sinful soul. Arm me with constancy against all assaults of carnal imaginations. Give me modesty in my countenance, decency in my apparel, civility in my behaviour, sobriety in my discourse, and contentedness in my condition. Make me obedient to my parents, respective to my superiors, courteous to my inferiors, and loving unto all. Let not my adorning be outward, 1 Pet: 3.3. Iam: 3.17. Prov: 1.9. of putting on of apparel: but give me that wisdom which is from above, to be as an ornament of grace unto my head; and as chains about my neck. Preserve, o Christ, both my body and soul in chastity and honour while I am here upon earth, as becometh a virgin espoused to thyself: Eccl: 12.7. Reu: 14.3. and when my dust shall return to the earth as it was, let my spirit return unto thyself who gavest it: and to thee let it sing that new song with the choir of virgins, before thy throne for ever and ever. Amen. subject 8 THE NINETH SUBJECT. Tears of a woman in the state of marriage. The soliloquy. Treating of the duties of a wife to her husband. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. MAn was created in the image of God: Gen: 1: 27. c: 2.18. vers: 21 vers: 22 yet because it was not good that he should be alone, the Lord did make him an help that was meet for him. A deep sleep fell upon Adam: in which, of a rib that was taken from his side, was made a woman, the wife of his bosom. Thus was marriage instituted at first in paradise, and though, after the woman was framed by the Creator, c: 2.31. it is not directly said she was very good: yet seeing it was verified of Adam, it was true of Eve; both of them yet remaining innocent. O blessed was that time when the husband and wife were so truly one, 2. King: 19.22. that they were free from offending the holy one. But they stood not long in this their integrity: for they conspiring together in the first offence, laid the foundation of discord, and division From hence do flow the disturbances of marriage: c: 3.24. and since Adam and Eve were driven out of Paradise, neither is virginity always contented; neither is wedlock free from disquietness. Ps: 78.58. vers: 59 vers. 63 When the Lord. was moved to jealousy by the idolatrous Israelites, he greatly abhorred them, in so much as he caused the fire to consume their young men; and their maidens were not given to marriage. Well might the Psalmist say he was wrath when the maidens were deprived of their nuptial honours. Yet had the virgins known the cares of wedlock, peradventure their curse might have been deemed a blessing. We who are taken from the wings of our parents, fieke for our content in the bosoms of our husbands: yet (lest we should idolatrously dote on them that are our heads) even thence many times do flow our disturbances whence we expect our happiness. But why alas do arise those storms of discontent? Marriage should unite the hearts, and affections; Eph: 5.31. and those who thereby are made one flesh, should likewise be one in the bond of love. Discords and divisions are the cankers of a mitie: jonah: 4.7. and like unto the worm in the gourd of jonas, bring confusion where they are nourished. Saint john determine's that God is love: 1 Io: 4.8. wheresoëver therefore we find not love, we may justly conclude there is not God. Yet many times do I hear the clamours of prople: for many men and their wives are more subject to complain, then to conceal the frowardness of their violent passions. But am not I one of those whose indisposition to obedience, or want of discretion, sieketh to violate the laws of marriage? All such divisions are both irreligious, and sieke to destroy the very rules of nature. By marriage two are united into one: but by discords one is divided into two. Where wedlock tieth not two in one, there is no obedience to him who is three in one. If therefore I enjoy not that happy concord. I must search into the cause which produceth such discord. Assuredly that wedlock which at first was instituted by the All mighty, and seconded by the blessing of increase and multiplying, Gen● 1.28. cannot be accompanied with schisms, and contentions without a great offence to him that ordained it. Chrest my Reedemer did honour it with his presence; and to show how much he delighted in this sacred union, he began his miracles at a wedding in Galilee. Io: 2.1. vers: 7.8. But if marriage be so ancient, as to fetch its beginning from man in innocency; if it be so religious, as to be honoured thus by my Lord and Saviour, why then is it so peremptorily concluded by the Apostle, that It is good for a man not to touch a woman? 1 Cor: 7.1. Are women so odious in the eyes of Saint Paul, that he should account it not good for a man to touch his helper, his rib, himself? What should the Apostle mean in this position, when as God himself determined, Gen: 2.18. and said, It is not good that the man should be alone? Can the scripture contain a manifest contradiction: or doth St. Paul decree directly against God? No, Noah: let me search more narrowly into those sacred texts, and I shall find that my God doth speak of that good which concerneth propagation, without which the whole race of humanity would soon be extinct: but by his Apostle he speaketh of a good which opposeth not honesty, but which is joined with profit: he decree's not that 'tis sinful but only inconvenient. Moreover he speaks not of all in general, but only of those who are endued from above with the gift of continency: afterwards therefore he thus concludeth, 1 Cor: 7.28. saying, But if thou marry, thou hast not sinned: and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned: nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh, Thus may marriage indeed be troublesome, but it is not dishonest; it may be inconvenient, but it is not unlawful. In itself considered it hath authority from God: yet upon some considerations, or private respects to some indeed it may prove unlawful. Whatsoëver is concluded without the free consent of both the parties, is not regulated according unto law. Neither fears, nor menates, nor delusions, nor compulsions, Noah nor want of years, or judgement can be legally present at the tying of this knot. The consent must be mutual, and proceed from a sound, a free, and un-corrupted judgement. When the servant of Abraham treated of a marriage between Isaak and Rebeckah, her brother and her mother concluded not hastily, but said, We will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth. Gen: 24.57. vers: 58 And they called Rebeckah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. Thus must a mutual, and free consent, without the disturbance of the reason by either excess of wine, or distracted thoughts, or fears and terrors, or cozening and delusive promises, be present at the making of this holy contract. The consent indeed must be free, without compulsion; but not without advice and direction. The will of a child (especially in this) must submit to the wisdom, and the counsel of parents: for seeing that children are reckoned among the goods and possessions of parents, even reason decreeth that their Lords should dispose of them. When Abraham dispatched his servant to sieke a wife for Isaak he made him swear by the Lord, Gen. 24.3. the God of heaven, and the God of earth, that he would not take a wife unto his son of the daughters of the Caaannites. c. 28.1. When Isaak called jacob, and blessed him, he charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Thus the law of the parents was a rule for the children: and they durst not marry where they were forbidden. In a letter which the Prophet sent unto the people whom Nabuchadnezzar had carried captive to Babylon, jer. 29.6. he not only wrote unto them, saying, Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters: but he also ordered them to take wives for their sons, and to give their daughters to husbands. Thus must children, (especially in the serious & weighty affair of marriage) obey their parents in the Lord; Eph. 6.1. Col. 3.20. for this is right. They must obey their parents in all things; much more therefore in the choice of those whom wedlock must conjoin: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. It is in the father's power to give his virgin in marriage: 1 Cor. 7.38. and the Apostle saith, that he which doth so, doth well; although he which giveth her not in marriage is said to do better. The heat of desire doth often darken the eye of reason; and makes us more apt to study our present content, then wisely to prevent an ensueing danger. Therefore must parents have power to dispose of those, who for want of advice may wed their destruction. This counsel and direction taketh not off from the freedom of consent; but rather sets them at liberty who for want of discretion had not power to consent. Nature is easily led amiss; and unadvised youth besides other inconveniencies may fall upon the shelves of nearness of blood, unless they have some to advise, and direct them. Those that choose without reason, and marry without advice, do but climb up a steep and lofty rock, to throw themselves down a mighty precipice. Leu. 18 Though the levitical law hath forbidden divers to agree in wedlock, yet often we see that men are apt either directly to oppose that law, or at least to affect most dear those whom even nature itself forbiddeth wedlock; although not directly mentioned in the law. But the sager parent will easily conclude, that those whom the law forbiddeth not expressly to join in wedlock, implicitly it prohibiteth, if the propinquity of blood be equal to those whom it denyeth marriage. The safest way is to avoid such contracts as are not in words permitted by the Almighty. That marriage must needs be full of discontent, which is not directly grounded on a positive law. He who first did institute marriage, did afterwards bound, and limit the institution. If the spring be troubled, the water of necessity must become impure. If we do not begin our wedlock according to rule, we cannot expect that content which our hearts desire. Those who begin with a breach of the law, can hardly live according to law. Lord, how many sins and infirmities do attend us mortals! We are apt to fall, when we want a guide; and yet we are unwilling to be guided by our directours. The way to heaven is full of difficulties; yet God hath provided us means to overcome them. To prevent the ruin, and destruction of the Kind, Gen: 1.28. 1 Cor. 7.2. vers. 5. he instituted marriage that we might be fruitful, and multiply. To avoid uncleanness every man is allowed to have his own wife, and every woman her own husband, that Satan tempt them not for their incontinency. To prevent a scarcity of godly saints, Eph. 6.4. he allowed wedlock; and commanded parents to bring up their children in the nurture, and admonition of the Lord. Thus our good God is pleased to give us the blessing of increase, that thereby we may add to the number of Saints. He giveth us a being by his power; a well-being by his providence; yea a christian and comfortable being by his goodness, if we obey his commands, & forget not his statutes. O what a happiness doth that marriage produce, which is both begun, and continued in God It putteth us in mind of that happy accord which was between Adam and Eve in innotency: and when we remember it, we strive to imitate it. In our choice, we magnify God, when we honour our parents. In our consent we glorify God for the use of our reason. In the freedom of our consent we are taught to be sensible how sin had enslaved us; and yet how we are freed by the mercies of our Redeemer. Thus when we address ourselves to God in all things; and both choose, consent, and wed according to his appointment, our lives are full of comfort, and content. Those who are thus united together, are careful to live in righteousness towards God; and in amity, and chaste sobriety among themselves. In afflictions they are each a comforter to the other: in prosperity they share their plenty, and increase: in their issue they magnify God for his blessings, and both of them strive to make those pledges of love which resemble themselves, to be more like unto God their father in heaven. Eph. 5.23. As the husband is made the head of his wife, so he strives to protect her, and indulgently cherisheth the flesh of his flesh. He instructeth her in righteousness, Gen. 2.23. 1 Pet. 3.3.7. and according to knowledge he dwelleth with her, giving honour unto her, as to the weaker vessel. Again, as Eve was not made of the head but the rib, so the good wife doth not seek to rule, vers. 5.6. Eph. 5.22. vers. 33. 1 Cor. 14.35. but be governed; and being thus in subjection to her own husband, she obeyeth her Lord, as Sarah did Abraham. She willingly submitteth herself to her husband, as unto the Lord. Him she reverenceth; him she obeyeth; and quietly, and meekly asketh him at home, what she desireth to learn. These, o these are the sweet contents which crown the married, c. 7.39. if they marry in the Lord. 'tis true that many times these duties are neglected through the want of religion: Gen. 3.1. and the scrpent comes often between the husband and wife, as at first he did between Adam & Eve. That sin which expelled him out of heaven he laboureth to kindle in our secret hearts: and then the wind of the apple does blow the coals. From hence ariseth the smoke of discontent: from hence doth issue the contention of her which the wise man resembleth to a continual dropping in a very rainy day. Prov. 27.15. Mar. 10.9. But those whom God hath joined together, nothing, should separate. Nothing indeed should, and nothing doth separate them; for it is only sin which causeth dissension; and that sin is only a privation of goodness. Had not sin been acted even in that very garden where marriage was instituted, that sacred yoke had never been burdensome. O that our God would be pleased to make us again so like unto himself, that our love might be tied up in the bond of peace! Eph. 4.3. We who by nature are fuller of imperfections than those that are our Lords, should then be freed from the blame of disquietness. God hath so honoured our sex, that he hath called his Church by the name of a woman: and not only so, but also of a wife; for so the Angel said to Saint john: Come hither; Rev. 21.9. I will show thee the Bride, the Lamb's wife. Of that woman, of that wife of my God must I learn the duty which I own to my husband. Eph. 5.22. To him must I submit myself, as unto the Lord, because the husband, is the head of the wife, ver. 23. eveu as Christ is the head of the church. Him I must love: to him I must be subject in every thing. Tit. 2.4 Eph. 5.24. 1 Cor: 7.34. Eph. 5.33. 1 Pet. 3.6, 1 Cor. 14.35. c. 7.10. Tit. 2.5 Col. 3.18. 1 Pet. 3.1. I must care how to please him: I must reverence him: I must obey him, as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord: I must be instructed by him. I must not departed from him; but must be discreet, & chaste; a keeper at home; good, & obedient unto him; that the word of God; be not blasphemed. To him indeed I must submit myself as unto the Lord: but this submission must not be servile; for it must be only so as it is fit in the Lord. Him I must love, for he is my self. To him I must be subject, as the inferior parts are unto the head. I must care how to please him both for the performance of my duty, and for the quietness and content which will ensue upon it. I must reverence him, for he is my superior: I must obey him, for he is my Lord; I must be instructed by him, for, he is my teacher: I must not departed from him, 1 Cor. 7.4. because the power which formerly I had over myself, is resigned up to his will; and pleasure. I must be discreet, because I am a wife: chaste, because I must be a loyal wife: a keeper at home, because a housewife: good, and obedient, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Submission is required, joined with love, to avoid anger and contention; Prov. 21.19. for Solomon hath decreed that It it better to dwell in the wilderness, then with a contentious, and an angry woman. Subjection and reverenceare arguments of a meek, 1 Pet: 3.4. Prov. 9.13. and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price: for a clamorous woman is styled foolish. Obedience is due to those that are our instructers: seeing therefore our sex is guilty of ignorance, 1 Tim. 2.11. we are commanded to learn in silence, with all subjection; for if we are wise in our own conceits, Prov. 26.12. the wise man saith there is more hope of a fool, then of such. Discretion is also required in our sex; for long ago did Solomon say, c. 11.22 As a jewel of gold in a swine snout so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Certainly those who submit to their husbands, who love them, are subject to them, careful to please them, reverence them, obey them, are willing to be instructed by them, depart not from them, and are truly discreet, conscience will preserve them chaste, civility will keep them at home, and religion will make them good. Ps: 119.5. O that our ways were made so direct, that we might keep these statutes! When I consider of this bond which unite's me to my husband, how can I choose but bless my God for his ordinance. When I look upon the pledges of our mutual love, those children which God doth send for our comfort, how can I choose but magnify his blessing? Though many are the infirmities of a woman; many duties belong to a wife; many cares and pangs belong to a mother; yet our infirmities are aften redressed by marriage; our duties are our delight, being guided and comforted by our careful Lords: and our cares, and pangs are richly rewarded in our obedient children. O how gracious is our God unto us, who governeth us by those who are made ourselves: and to increase our love and obedience to our husbands, giveth us the lively resemblance of both in our tender offspring! These children whom I would have obedient unto me do put me in mind of that obedience which I own to my husband: and much more of that which all of us owe to our bountiful God. That sacred tye of holy wedlock putteth me in mind of the infinite love of Christ to his church. He hath blessed me with the first; and shall I not labour to be a worthy, and a thankful partaker of his love in the last? The first I enjoy, though I deserve it not: the last I am offered, yet zealously and religiously enough I embrace it not. If I neglect my love and duty to my husband, I cannot expect the love of Christ. Alas by sex I am frail, and not willing to obey: by pains I am froward, and not fit for advice: by sin I am haughty, and not apt for submission. Nature inclineth us to love; but unless that love be regulated by religion, it often either is sullied with impurity, or clegenerateth into hatred. O what shall I provide to answer my God, when he shall strictly examine me concerning my duty first to himself; next to him whom he hath made my Lord; and lastly to them who are my tender, and parceled self? Certainly obedient enough I cannot be to God: dutiful enough I can scarcely be to my husband: loving and careful enough I can hardly be of my children. All of us fail in some thing or other: and I fear that I am the weakest of all. Every sin displeaseth my God: o what shall I do to appease his wrath? Wherewithal shall I come before the Lord; Mic. 6.6. and bow myself before the high God? Shall I come before him with offerings; with calves of a year old? vers. 7. Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgressions: Ps. 51.16. vers: 17 the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? Alas he desireth not sacrifice: he delighteth not in offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken, and a contrite heart he will not despise. To my Lord therefore will I hasten whom I have offended: to my God will I address myself, whom I have displeased by my manifold neglects: and instead of rivers of oil, I will swim unto him in rivers of my tears. My heart I will teach to groan so loud, that it shall be heard to heaven. Each tear which I shed shall proceed from a heart so humbly sorrowful, that they shall seem to have the faces of Angels in reflection; and I will pray that those tears may be accepted by the Angel of the covenant. Mal: 3.1. If through my indiscretion contentions have arisen between my head and the members, I will meekly justify the words of the King Solomon; and not only resemble, but have even the same to which he compareth me: Pro: 27.15. I will have a continual dropping in a very rainy day. Mine eyes shall drop, and my heart shall drop; and from them both shall issue as it were water and blood, that with my tears I may wash the sacrifice of my God; and my heart may be made an accepted offering. Mat: 7.25. Yet shall not the rain descend only, and the floods come, but the winds also shall blow. From mine eyes shall the rain descend, and the floods of my tears shall come: and then from my heart the winds shall blow. From my heart I will send out sight of sorrow, 1. King 19.11. and the Lord shall be in the wind. And with that wind shall be an earthquake; my enlivened earth shall quake with fear of the judgements of my God: so the Lord shall be likewise in the earthquake. And with that earthquake shall be fire; vers. 12 even the fire of love, and zeal together: so the Lord shall be in that fire. And with that fire shall be a still small voice; and unto the Lord shall that voice be directed; for to him will I look, and pray, and say. The Prayer. Almighty Lord, everlasting father, who hast been pleased to vouch safe me the blessings of this life, and to give me my desires both in a husband, and children: be pleased to give me a thankful heart for these thy mercies. It is thy goodness, and not my merit, that I have received from thee these blessings of thy bounty. justly, o most justly, mightest thou at once deprive me of these comforts, because I have neglected my obedience to the one, and my care of the other. Humbly, o my God, and with a bleeding heart I confess my failings, and am sorry for mine offences: Lord be gracious to me thy servant. It is thy hand alone which hath preserved me from the foul offences which many commit: for without thy protection by nature I am no better than that strange woman, Pro: 2.17. who forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. By nature I am carnally worse by fare then were Aholah, and Aholibah spiritually, who committed whoredoms in their youth. Eze: 23 3. Lord make me ever acknowledge this thy protection; and testify my thankfulness in my industrious care to perform my duties. Be thou still the protector and the gracious defender both of me, and mine. Bless him whom thou hast set over me; and grant that he may dwell with me according to knowledge, 1. Pet. 3.7. that so we being heirs together of the grace of life, our prayers may not be hindered. As thou hast made me a fruitful vine by the walls of his house, so make me endeavour to be fruitful in good works, Ps. 128.3. Col: 1.10. Ps: 128 3. Ps: 52.8 Prov. 19.14. c: 5.18. Ps: 141.3. Prov. 11.16. c: 12.4. c: 14.1. c: 31.10 vers. 30 and increase to be fruitful in good Works, and increase in the knowledge of thee my God. Let those Olive branches, about my table be every one of them like a green Olive in the house of thee, o my God; and trust in thy mercy for ever and ever. Make me to my husband a prudent wife, as sent from thee, that he may rejoice with me the wife of his youth. To this purpose, set â watch, o Lord, before my mouth, and keep the door of my lips. Make me a gracious woman retaining honour, that I may be a crown to my husband: a wise woman, labouring to build up my house, and family: and a virtuous woman, fearing thee. Hear me, o my God, and grant me my petitions for the worthiness of him who is an indulgent husband to his Spouse the Church, even jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. subject 10 THE TENTH SUBJECT. Tears of an Aged woman. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe days of our age are threescore years, and ten; Ps: 90.10. (saith David) and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour, and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we flee away. Lord how true didst thou speak by the mouth of that Prophet! True I find it, who have now accomplished the number of so many years. My strength is labour, not because of any pains which I take, but only by reason of the pains which I suffer. Age hath been always freed from work, because it suffereth more in a languishing weakness, than the young and lusty do in their travels. Num: 8 24. From twenty and five years old and upward the Levites were required to wait upon the service of the Tabernacle of the congregation: vers. 25 And from the age of fifty years, they were to cease waiting upon the service thereof and to serve no more. God will have the best of our time, yea all for his service. But, alas, the custom is too common among us to serve ourselves at least until fifty; and it may be then, or not so soon, we think upon God. But why should we not rather render the years of our strength to the God of our strength? Ps: 43.2 The fault which I complain of is too frequent among others; but can I excuse myself from the guilt thereof? I now begin to think upon the service of my God, when through age I am no more able to serve myself. Every thing disturbeth and tormenteth my aged limbs: even my very apparel becometh a burden. O why do people so fond desire to live to be aged? Have the grey hair's delight; or the parched, and dried body any pleasure? Alas Noah: I find it hath not. This; this is the time which the Preacher speaketh of. Eccl: 12.2. Now the Sun, and the light, and the moon, and the stars are darkened; and the clouds return after the rain. The beauty of the countenance which shined like the Sun; the skiecolloured eyes; the apples of those eyes which sparkeled like the Stars, are grown dim, and obscure. The eye-lidds are filled with waters like a swollen cloud, labouring in the delivery of its mournful burden. Pleasures, and delights, and joys, and merriments have now withdrawn the lustre of their glory: and pains, and dolours, and griefs, and sadness have benighted my feeble, and crazy body. Now the keepers of the house tremble, vers. 3. and the strong men bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened. My knees, which were the supporters of this walking dust, begin to creeckle, and tremble under their oppressing burden. Mine arms, and hands have forgotten their steadfastness, and quake and faint in the execution of their just commands. The teeth which prepared the meat for the stomach, are fled away from their narrow chambers; and left the open doors, the hollow gums in trust to mock my desires. Those eyes which once could dazzle the spectators; & sat proudly in their thrones, darting their rays upon their desired objects, have now the curtains of age drawn over their flames; and the veil of antiquity eclipseth their glory. Now the doors are shut in the streets, vers. 4. and the sound of the grinding is low, and here is rising up at the voice of the bird, and the daughters of music are brought low. My feet are afflicted with lameness, that they cannot any longer carry me into the streets. The sound of the grinding, the desire of food, the sharpness of the appetite is abated, and grown low. The birds of the night, the thiefs and the robbers awake me out of my slumbers; & sometime my careful thoughts present to my fant'sie a fear of their entrance, which causeth me to watch when there is no necessity. The daughters of music, the tongue that was so nimble, and the lips that were so active, and the voice that was so melodious, have forgotten the songs, and sonnets of youth. vers. 5. Now I am afraid of that which is high, and fears are in the way: and the Almond-tree flourisheth; and the grasshopper is a burden; and desire faileth. When I attempt to walk, the dimness of mine eyes doth multiply the objects, and maketh me believe that I must climb over mountains. The weakness of my feeling persuadeth my feet that the smallest stones are mighty hills. Every bush in the way that shooteth up its twigs, appeareth like the ragged teeth of a devouring saw. The Almond-tree flourisheth; the early, watchful Almond-tree, which forwardly produceth its fruits in the prime of the year: my cares increase, and cause me to walk betimes in the mornings. My weakness accounteth the leaping of a grasshopper upon my furrowed skin, like the weight of a burden that would crush me to the earth: and the desire of youthful delights is fled from my remembrance. The silver chord is loosed; vers. 6. & the golden bowl is broken; and the pitcher is broken at the fountain; and the wheel is broken at the cistern. The tongue is grown silent, which was wont to sing like the silver trumpets; the strength of the loins hath submitted to age: the brain which was kept in the bowl of the skull, is dried up in the pan which so carefully preserved it. The very gall is broken, and separated from the liver the fountain of blood; and the whole body is readily prepared for the sepulchre. Thus hath my God spared me so long, until I am even weary of this his mercy: for in my youth I was not so fearful to be snatched from my pleasures, as now I have a longing to be released of my pains. My flesh, Lam: 3.4. and my skin are made old; and my bones are broken. Such years have seldom crowned the issue of Adam, without the society of weaknesses, and sorrows. Gen: 48 10. 1. King 14.4. c: 15.23 The eyes of Israël were dim for age, so that he could not see. Ahijah the Prophet could not see; for his eyes were set, by reason of age. Asa in the time of his old age was diseased in his feet. Thus we that are ancient are subject to as many infirmities as we have lived years; & each part of our bodies is ready to torment us with several aches. Now I I stand in need of a job, whose comforts may uphold me as I am falling; job. 4.4 and that he may strengthen my fecble knees. O how I want some charitable person, Is: 35.3 who could strengthen my weak hands, and confirm these feeble joints! Aged I am; feeble I am: I have that which Solomon calleth the beauty of age; Prov: 20.29. I have the grey head. But what beauty is there in these silver hairs, unless I have religion springing in my heart? c: 16.31 The hoary head is a crown of glory: yet, not unless it be found in the way of righteousness. The Israëlites were commanded to rise up before the hoary head; Lev: 19 32. and to honour the face of the old: but surely the Lord intended not that reverence should be given so much to the age, as to the goodness of the person who was thus to be respected. As we that are aged have more experience through the multitude of our years, than the young and lusty inhabitants of the earth so should we be instructers of them in goodness, and virtue. As we do somewhat resemble our God in the number of our days; 1. Pet: 1 26. Dan: 7.9. so should we strive to be holy as he is holy, who is the ancient of days. I can speak the chronicles of times that are past; and report the various occurrences, which happened in my youth: but do I strive therein to set forth the goodness, and mercies of him that hath spared me so long to publish his praises? job saith that With the ancient is wisdom, job. 12.12. and in length of day's understanding. Thus indeed it should be; but do I verify those words of job? The Prophet complaineth that grey hairs were here and there upon Israël; Hos: 7.9. job. 32.9. yet he had no knowledge. Great men are not always wise: neither do the aged always understand wisdom. That is only true wisdom which maketh us resemble the Prophet David, who understood more than the ancients, Ps: 119.100. because he kept the precepts of the most high. As for other wisdom, it hath no value in comparison of this, for of such it is that job speaketh when he saith, God removeth away the speech of the trusty; job: 12.20. and taketh away the understanding of the aged. It is that wisdom alone; it is that understanding only that David had, which causeth both the gift, and the blessing of antiquity. Prov: 3.1. Let thine heart keep my commandments (saith the Lord by king Solomon) for length of days, vers. 2. & long life, and peace shall they add unto thee. This is that true wisdom indeed, which hath length of days, in her right hand; vers. 16 and in her left hand riches and honour. Such aged people as these were they whom God promised at the restauration of jerusalem, when he said, there shall yet old men, Zech: 8 4. & old women dwell in the streets of jerusalem; & every man with his staff in his hand for very age. Such as these doubtless were they of whom Eliphaz boasted to job in his distress, when he said, job. 15.10. with us are both the grey headed, and very aged men, much elder than thy father. Thus I read of the wisely ancient; but am I one of those who have Wisdom, and understanding? Is my zeal as much inflamed with the love of my God, as my body hath abated of its youthful heat? Long enough have I lived to be acquainted with the precepts, and commandments of the most high: and to teach the younger by a religious example. How many in all these clusters, these heaps of years have I advantaged in the way of godliness? How many have I endeavoured to reclaim from wickedness? What judgements of God upon sinful miscreants have I observed in my time? What use have I made of them for mine own humiliation? How often have I discoursed of them to the younger people, that so they might be affrighted from the perverseness of their evil ways? I can remember trifles which happened even in my childhood; but did I ever observe the goodness, and the tender mercies of my maker? My numerous years command me now to be an adviser of youth. Every one honoureth the hoary hairs: but if there be as well a frost in the conscience, as snow upon the head, wherein do I excel the very heaps of soil which are cast out from our dwellings? The dusty monuments of those our ancestors, which in their declining columns nod towards the earth, do as gravely ●each the certainty of our end, as these scars, and wrinkles of age in my shriveled skin. The less I enjoy of a radical moisture, the sooner, shall I become the sport of the winds, and be blown about in misty ashes. My multiplied days are but the increase of my sins, unless I can make each line in my face a corrector of vice; that people may imagine that they were placed there as much by my holy anger at offenders, as by the continued account of my flying minutes. Most powerful was that exhortation of the valiant joshua, when, being old and stricken in years, Ios: 23.2. he put the Israëlites in mind of the mercies of God. Most prevalent was the rhetoric of the Doctor of the Gentiles, when (though, as himself saith, Philem. vers. 8. vers. 9 he might be much bold in Christ to enjoin Philemon that which was convenient, yet) for love's sake he rather besought him, being such a one as Paul the aged. Were I such a one as was joshua, or Paul, my death might be lamented when I shall be carried to my grave. When the great confusion was to come upon jerusalem for her many rebellions, it was not to be the least of their punishments, that God would take away from them the prudent, and the ancient. Is. 3.2. c: 9.13. Because the people turned not unto him that did smite them, neither did they seek the Lord of hosts; vers. 14 therefore (saith the Prophet) the Lord will out off from Israël head; and tail, branch and root in one day. verse 15. The ancient and honourable he is the head; and the Prophet that teacheth lies he is the tail. Mine years do number me among the ancient of our times, but do my virtue's rank me with those that are truly honourable? Those who have well deserved in the time of their lives, are embalmed with tears at their sad, and doleful interments. But shall I be lamented at my funeral obsequies? Peradventure I may; for some may remember that I have been openhanded to the poor, and indigent: some that I have visited the sick, and infirm. But what of that? These might appear to others as acts of charity; and yet by some sinister intent which I might harbour in my bosom, they may be charged to mine account for heinous offences by the all-seeing God. That good which I perform to any of my neighbours, aught to be done only in obedience to my Lord. I must therefore be careful that both my acts, & intents be truly good. If I do no good even in the neglect of good, I am guilty of evil. If I serve not my God I rob the Saints upon earth, Ps: 16.3 and I eat and drink those creatures of his which might relieve his thankful, and obedient servants. Whatsoëver I have I do not create it, I only receive it: so I must necessarily acknowledge it not mine, but Gods. If I employ not his gifts for the advantage of his glory, I do but borrow that which I intent not to restore: so though my God need's not my thanks, yet needs he must punish me for mine un-thankfullnesse. What then shall I do? Have I lived thus long at the bounty of my God, and am I now to begin to be thankful to my God? Ould I am; Gen: 27.2. and (as Isaak said to Esau) I know not the day of my death: I must therefore so provide for my death, as if this moment were the period of my life. The young may die; the old must die. So teach me, o Lord, Ps: 90.12. to number my days, that I may apply my heart unto wisdom. O that I were as good as I am aged! Many that are younger in years then myself, are elder by fare in goodness, and virtue. But why have I been so slothful, so negligent in the affairs of heaven? Must age be honoured? Why then do I not strive to honour him who ever was, even before the foundations of the earth were laid? I must not be received into the choir of saints for the number of my years: nor can I come thither unless my soul be more innocent than the whiteness of my head would seem to resemble. Mine age should truly be reckoned from my conversion. Numbers of years do but draw me nearer to my withdrawing chamber; but numbers of virtues may bring me nearer unto heaven. By the multiplying of my minutes, I have but for a time prevented the longing worms. I cannot satisfy for my sins, though I should continue as long as the world shall endure. Yet if I could, it were folly in me to expect much longer continuance upon earth. I am travelling to the grave. Eccl: 12.1. near it I am. The years are now come wherein I must say, I have no pleasure in them. Every age hath sins which attendeth it. Though some have forsaken me, yet others are apt to succeed in their rooms: hardly would they be so soon in my grave, and be buried in my repentance. The more low we aged people do stoop towards our mother through the decay of nature, for the most part we grow the more covetous of that which is digged from the earth. But why should we who are ancient be so desirous of money? This is not providence, but ungrounded covetousness. A little will serve us for that little time we can stay upon the earth. But to prevent this sin, my bending to the earth shall put me in mind of the dust whence I came; and viewing the base original of my flesh, I will labour to serve the father of spirits. Heb: 12.9. Phil: 3.8. Rev: 21.21, All things will I account but loss, and dung, that I may win my jesus. He sitteth enthroned in the new jerusalem, the very streets whereof are the purest gold. O my God shut me out no longer from those eternal riches. I can not choose but offend thee while I remain upon earth: for his sake therefore who died on the cress, make haste to receive me into that heavenly paradise. O how sick, me thinks, I grow of this wretched world! My limbs would willingly yield to mortality; and lie down in the bed of a silent grave. O that the time were come when I shall say to corruption, job. 17.14. Thou art my father, and to the worms, ye are my mother, and my sisters. Gen: 25 17. When Ishmaël was an hundred thirty and seven years old, he gave up the ghost, and died and was gathered to his fathers. Isaak gave up the ghost, c: 35.29 and died, and was gathered to his people, being old, and full of days. Abraham gave up the ghost, c: 25.8. and died in a good old age; Iud: 8.32. 1. Chr: 29.28. Gen: 23 1. vers. 2. an old man full of years; and was gathered to his people. Gideon the son of joash died in a good old age. David died in a good old age, full of days, riches, and honour. Sarah was an hundred twenty and seven years old when she died in Kiriath. arba. These, and thousands of others who lived great and good ages, lay down in the dust; and their spirits were carried by Angels into the kingdom of happiness, the city of my God: why then should not I endeavour to follow them to bliss? Dye I must; but when, or where, or how I can not determine. Yet sure I am that if I live the life of the righteous, I shall die their death, Num: 23.10. and receive their reward. As near as I am to my longest home, I am not assured what death I shall die; neither by what disease, nor with what torments, or ease. Gen: 42.38 jacob. was afraid that his grey hairs should be brought down with sorrow to the grave. When David gave Solomon a charge concerning joab, he commanded him, 1. King. 2.6. saying, Let not his hoary head go down to the grave in peace. Concerning Shimei he likewise charged him, vers. 9 saying, His hoary head bring thou down to the grave with blood. The rebellious Israëlites were threatened for their disobedience, Deut: 28.49. vers. 50 that the Lord should bring a nation against them, which should not regard the person of the old●, nor show favour to the young. I have no more privilege, nor prerogative than they, unless I can prove that I am better than they. Nay more; the manner, or the kind of death, though never so tormenting, is fare from satisfying for the smallest offence. My death may be troublsome, and full of misery; and yet my doom may be full of horror. O what shall I do, What shall I do to escape that sentence of wrath which can never be recalled? The more years I have lived, the more sins I have committed. The words of the old Patriarch do more properly belong unto mes, than they did unto him: Few, Gen: 47.9. and evil have the days of the years of my life been. O what a world of crimes is my soul oppressed with! What shall I do to pacify my God, against whom my sins, and offences have been committed? Nothing but blood can satisfy for my scarlet crimes; and no blood can appease him, but the blood of his Son; and no share can I have in that most precious blood, unless I seriously, and faithfully repent me of my sins. Lord, Is: 56.3 though I may say with the Eunuch, Behold I am a dry tree; yet it is in thy power as well to draw water out of the driest tree, as the obdurate rocks. O my God I desire to offer thee both mine eyes full of tears, and a heart full of groans. If all that little moisture which is left in my body could possibly be converted into one tear of timely, and acceptable repentance; even that tear, o God, would I readily offer thee. Lord I grieve in my very soul for the pollutions of my soul; and am seriously, and hearty offended at myself, for offending thee. Accept, o God, the throbs of my fainting heart; and be reconciled unto me in the blood of thy son. O Lord I sigh: o Lord I grieve. My heart panteth, my bowels yearn, and my very soul languisheth and pineth to receive the assurance of thy favour I will lie at the pool of Bethesda, as he did who was diseased near forty years. Io. 5.5. I will lie at the gate of thy mercy, o jesus; and there will I weep, and grieve, and lament, and call, and cry for mercy at thy hands, o blessed Redeemer: and my petitions I will tender in all humility, and devotion, praying, and saying. The Prayer. Merciful Lord God, Is: 46.3 who didst promise to carry the house of jacob from the belly and the womb, vers. 4. even to old age, and hoary hairs: despise not the humble suit of thine aged, and feeble servant. My many years, I must confess, I have spent in vanity; and scarce one minuit of them have I devoted to thy service, as I ought to have done. Every day have I offended thee; and every hour have I been disobedient to thy laws. My childhood hath been full of folly; my youth of stubborness; my riper years have been apt to wantonness; and mine old, and aged days to covetousness, and impenitency. Thou mightest long since in thy justice have destroyed me in my sins; and have given me a portion in the land of darkness. But now, o father, since thou hast spared me so long, do not condemn me at the last. Let the heavy heart, and the trembling tongue, and the shaking hands, and the most sorrowful soul of an humble convert find favour in thine eyes. With thy mercy, job. 4.4 Ps: 35.3 Ps: 39.4 o Lord, strengthen my weak hands, support my feeble knees, comfort my drooping heart; and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. Lord make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, that I may know how frail I am. vers: 5. Ps: 93.2 Ps: 102.27. Ps: 90.9 Mine age is nothing before thee; for thou art from everlasting, and thy years shall not fail. O be thou reconciled unto me through the passion of my Redeemer; for when thou art angry, all our days are gone: we bring our years to an end as a tale that is told. Ps: 71.9 O cast me not off in this time of old age: forsake me not, now my strength faileth me. Though the heavens, Is: 51.6 and the ●earth shall wax old as doth a garment, and they that dwell therein shall die; yet thy salvation shall be for ever, and thy righteousness. shall not be abolished. Ps: 43.3. Ps: 71.18. Ps: 23.4 Ps: 62.7 Prov. 23.22. O send out thy light and thy truth to lead me now I am old, and grey headed: o my staff, and thou who art the only rock of strength, forsake me not. Thou hast commanded our children to hearken to their fathers that begat them; and not to despise their mothers when they are old. O my heavenly father do thou make me thy child by grace and adoption, that I may hearken unto thee; and never despise, or forsake thy commandments. Make me always remember thy works, o Lord; Ps: 77.11. and call to mind thy wonders of old time. Give me grace to be in behaviour as becometh holinsse; Tit: 2.3 not given to the vices which commonly delude the ancient, and decrepit; but that I may be a teacher of the things that are good. Peaceably, o my father, job. 5.26. let me come to my grave in a full age, like as a shock of corn cometh in, in his season. By the course of nature I am ready to go the way of all the earth. 1. King. 2.2. job. 17.1. My breath, and my spirits almost are spent; my days are near extinct, and now the grave is ready for me: do thou, o my God, prepare me for thy self. With thee I long, and desire to live. To thee I desire to sing praises with the glorified Saints in thy celestial Paradise. O free me from the burden of the flesh, and the fetters of sin; and grant that when I shall render thee an account of my years, I may behold thy face with comfort, and joy. Let me with desire attend the time of my change, and the hopeful expectation of a happy resurrection. Come o my God, and free me from the bondage of sin and corruption, that I may sit at thy right hand for ever, and ever. Hear me o father, and grant my petitions through the meritorious death of the Lord of life, even jesus Christ my only mediator, and redeemer. Amen. subject 11 THE ELEVENTH SUBjECT. Tears of a Barren woman. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen God had created Adam and Eve, he blessed them, Gen: 1.28. and said, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. This was a blessing in the time of innocency; but did it remain a blessing after the fall? Yes doubtless; for long after the breach of the first commandment the Psalmist determined that Children are an heritage of the Lord: Ps: 127 3. and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Yet, though it remaineth a blessing, it is not without the society of a punishment: for so the Lord said unto the woman; Gen: 3.16. I will greatly multiply thy sorrow, and thy conception: in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children. This sorrow is an effect of sin, and not a sorrow for sin. Yet surely it hath something in it above, or beside a punishment for the first offence: for neither is the sorrow in itself a sin, as is always that which is only worldly, which beginneth, continueth, and endeth in grief: nor doth this sorrow conclude in either sin, or shame, Io: 16.21. or grief; but (as our Saviour saith) As soon as she is delivered of the child, sh● remembreth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is borne into the world. The pain is a remembrancer of original corruption; but the issue is a continuance of the blessing in Paradise. This pain I am freed from whilst I continue barren: but then I want the blessing, and the joy which accompany the pain. But why do I complain? Why do I disturb myself for want of that which might become my tormentor? All children are not blessed: all are not elected to be heirs of salvation. Mat: 20 16. Many indeed are called; but few are chosen. Doubtless Cain, and Ham, and Esau, and judas, and many millions besides, did cost their mothers many bitter throws, and torments, and cries; yet reaped not their parents that joy which others have received. Is it not then better for me to content myself with this state which I am in; then to be the mother of a child, which might be a firebrand of hell? All are not chosen to be vessels unto honour. 2. Tim. 2.21. The way to destruction is a beaten road. My torments would be greater (were I the mother of a child) for fear that my child should dishonour my God; then they could be with bringing that child into the world. The cares of parents are full of trembling, and disquietness, always suspecting ill accidents, or diseases; or (which is worse) a second death to befall their issues. Reu: 21 8. From these I am freed whilst I continue fruitless; and I enjoy the society of a husband without the disturbance of children. But yet, me thinks, I rest: not satisfied; for barrenness was ever accounted a reproach; therefore Elizabeth upon her conception said. Luc: 1.25. Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men. Gen: 16 4. Thus when Hagar had conceived by Abram, her mistress Sarai was despised in her eyes. But alas what's this? A little reproach it may be among men; but such as cannot continue long: not longer, at most, than my life shall last; and than it will cease, or at least not trouble me. Surely it is not so contemptible in the eyes of my God; for if so it were, than job would not put it as a mark of the wicked, job: 24 21. that He evil intreateth the barren that beareth not. And yet I suspect that some grievous sin is the cause of mine affliction; for barrenness hath been often sent as a curse, and fruitfulness as a blessing. How happy was the wife of Terah in her faithful Son Abraham! How happy was jochebed in her meek Son Moses! How happy was Elizabeth in john the Baptist! But how most happy of all was the virgin Mary in her holy child jesus, prononnced so by he● cosijn Elizabeth, who said unto her, Blessed art thou among women, Luc: 1.42. and blessed is the fruit of thy womb! This blessing, me thinks, I seriously long for, though I cannot expect a child of such excellency as was Abraham, or Moses, or john the Baptist. But why do I thus disturb myself about that which is not in my power to amend, or alter? Fruitfulness hath not always been a token of mercy: sometimes it hath spoken the wrath of the Almighty. 2. Sam. 11.5. Bathsheba indeed was free from barrenness; but her child by King David was the spurious issue of a defiled bed. Such sinister practices have been the faults of divers, who have rather chosen to dishonour God, then to be despised by men. But this remedy would prove fare worse than the disease, if I should seek to be pregnant by the ways of wickedness. Thus to become a mother I should dishonour my husband, and (which is infinitely worse) my Lord and my God. Thus should I desclayme the protection of God my father, and the love of mine indulgent husband; and all in a wicked and lustful curiosity to take away my reproach among men. Yea thus by endeavouring to salve my credit I should more deeply wound it: and to avoid a contempt for what I cannot help, I should be branded with infamy which I could never wipe off. Conscience, and obedience to the laws of my God forbidden the thought of so dangerous a cure: loyalty, and affection to my husband deny it: love, and desire of virtue chide it: yea and care of my good name doth plainly prohibit it. I had rather continue for a time a reproached Elizabeth, then be a lustful Bathsheba to be the wife of a King. It lieth in the power of him who is omnipotent to make me (if he pleaseth) a joyful mother. I will not despair while I live upon the earth, because I know that my God is powerful who dwelleth in heaven. This barrenness may peradventure be sent me in mercy, although so heavily I take it for a judgement. It may be I should fail in the duty of patience in the time of my travel; or of love, and care in the education of my children: or I might be too fond guilty of doting on them; & so idolatrously rob my God of his honour, to confer it wickedly on the issue of my loins. Moreover who knoweth what times of trouble may come upon the land; or what destruction, and desolation may be sent upon my country. If persecution, or war should enforce me to flee, I can the better escape now I am free from children. For this very cause my blessed Redeemer foretelling the destruction of the city of jerusalem, said unto the women, Daughters of Ier●salem weep not for me, Lu: 23.28. vers: 29 but weep for yourselves, and for your children: For behold the days are coming in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the womb that never bore, and the paps that never gave suck. So this barrenness may bring content, in that it freeth me from cares, and various perturbations; although (if it might seem good in the eyes of my God) most willingly would I embrace the trouble, that I might increase his Kingdom. I will resolve howsoëver to submit myself to the great disposer; and will hope that it may be his pleasure to send me my desires. Time was when the Gentiles knew not God; which made the Psalmist so magnify God for his mercies to Israël, Ps: 147.19: when he said, He showeth his word unto jacob: his statutes, and his judgements, unto Israël: vers: 20 He hath not dealt so with any nation; neither have the heathen knowledge of his law. Then had the Gentiles a spiritual barrenness, for they were barren of religion; and yet the Prophet comforteth them, Is: 54.1 saying, Sing o barren, thou that didst not bear: break forth into singing, and cry aloud thou that didst not travel with child; for more are the children of the desolate, than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord. This Prophecy is fulfiled to the joy and rejoicing of myself, and many millions more: for the song doth no longer run in the phrase of the Psalmist, Ps: 76.1 ves. 2. In judah is God known; his name is great in Israel: In Salem also is his tabernacle; and his dwelling place in Zion. No, Noah: Lu: 2.32. he who was the glory of the people Israel, did come to be a light to lighten the Gentiles. Thus the Gentiles which had not been a people, Rom. 9 25. were called to be the people of the most high God: she who had not been beloved did through his mercy become the beloved of God: and she that was barren through ignorance and infidelity, grew the faithful spouse of the most high. Why should I then give over my hopes? He who made a fruitful church even of the heathen which knew him not, Is. 54.3 can (if he pleaseth) make me a fruitful mother of children. verf 5. Her maker is her husband; the Lord of hosts is his name: and her redeemer is the holy one of Israel; the God of the whole earth shall he be called. I am one of the members of that church which hath Christ to her husband: I will therefore never despair either of his power, or mercy. I dare not repine as Rachel did, when she bore jacob no children and envied her sister. Gen: 34 1. vers: 2. I dare not say to my husband as she did to hers, Give me children or else I die; lest his anger should be kindled against me, and he should answer me as jacob did her, and say, Am I in God's steed, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb? I know it is God who giveth; and I know it is God who withholdeth these mercies. I dare not be too inquisitive into a reason in nature, lest I dis-honour him who is the God of nature. I may, and I will desire this blessing at the hands of him who giveth liberally, Iam: 1.5. and upbraideth not. Yet lest my petitions should be empty if they rise not with tears, I will weep for my sins which have caused his displeasure: and yet I will weep in hope that he will be reconciled unto me. Of every judgement I must find the cause in the wickedness of myself. I want the comfort and content of children, because I myself have been a child disobedient to my God. But I will bewail my sins, and bemoan my condition: and although he cannot be ignorant of my servant desires, yet I will lay open to him the grief of my heart. Gen: 25 21. Isaak entreated him for his wife, because she was barren; and he was entreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived: And she had two children which struggled together in their mother's womb. ver: 22 At the prayer of Elisha the good Shunamitish woman conceived, 2. King 4.17. Gen: 20 17. and bore a son at that very season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life. Faithful Abraham prayed unto the Lord, and the Lord healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maid servants, and they bare children: vers: 18 for the Lord had first closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife. The Lord did promise unto Israël upon obedience, saying, There shall nothing cast their young, Ex. 23.26. Deut. 7 12. nor be barren in thy land. Another promise was made unto them by God himself, when he said, It shall come to pass if ye harken to these judgements, and do them, Thou shalt be blessed above all people: there shall not be male, or female barren among you, or among your cattles. Again they were promised by the mouth of Moses, saying, It shall come to pass, c. 28.1. if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe and to do all the commandments which I command thee this day: vers. 11 the Lord shall make thee plenteous in goods, in the fruit of thy body, and in the fruit of thy cattles, and in the fruit of thy ground, in the land which the Lord swore unto thy fathers to give thee. But I have not such an Isaak to entreat for me, as Rebekah had; nor such an Elisha as the Shunamitesse had; nor such an Abraham as Abimelech had. What then? I have the promise of my God, if I be a true Israëlite indeed, Io. 1.47 such a one as Nathaniel was, in whom was no guile. If I obey my God, and hearken to his judgements, and do them: If I harken diligently unto the voice of the Lord my God to observe, and to do all the commandments which he commandeth me to do; then I may expect the blessing which was promised unto Israël. The promises of God are made upon conditions; and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions, when I beg of him but temporal blessings. His blessings descend not, unless they be called down by my religious obedience: nor may I pray for the blessings which concern this life but with this condition, If they may stand with his pleasure. In his power it is to grant the suit which so earnestly I make: I wish it may be his pleasure to fulfil my desires. Barren Sarai was promised a son, and Isaak was borne. Gen. 21 2.3. Lu: 1.7 vers. 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22. vers. 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in years, and Elizabeth was barren, yet they were blessed with john the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrenness, yet we read that the Lord did open her womb. God remembered Rachel, and harkened unto her, and opened her womb: and she conceived, and bore a son, and said, God hath taken away my reproach. The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren; jud. 13.2. vers. 3. vers. 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her, and said unto her, Behold now thou art barren, and bearest not; but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son: And the woman bore a son, & called his name Samson; and the child grew, and the Lord blessed him. 1. Sam. 1.10. Barren Hannah was in bitterness of soul for want of a child, when Peninnah her fruitful rival provoked her sore to make her fret, vers. 6. vers. 20 because the Lord had shut up her womb: and she had a son whom she named Samuel. Thus may God, if he please, look upon my reproach; and send me a child, which I may dedicate to his service. I will therefore follow the steps of Hannah the devout: vers: 15 I will weep with her, and I will fast with her; and with her, will I pour out my soul before the Lord. Who knoweth but my tears may prevail through the merits of my Redeemer; and my sobs, and sighs may draw down a blessing? Ps. 30.8 On my knees therefore will I go unto the Lord and get me unto my Lord right humbly. I will weep and pray, and mourn and pray, and sigh and pray; and praying I will say. The Prayer. HEeavenly King, father of mercies, Ps: 72.5 thou who tookest me out of my mother's womb, but hast denied unto me the fruit of mine: vouchsafe to look upon the reproach of thy servant. I know that my sins do stop the current of thy mercies: but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences. Forgive my sins the cause of thy curse; and heal the barrenness of thy despised handmaid. 1. Sam. 1.11. O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeed look upon the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a manchild; then I will give him unto thee all the days of his life. Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowful spirit; and out of the abundance of my complaint, vers. 16 and grief do I pray unto thee. Send me, I beseech thee, a Samuël, even such a child as I have asked of thee (if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord, and King) that may bring honour unto thee, and comfort unto thy petitioner. I shall never be satisfied until thou hearest my supplications. Pro. 30 15. Either grant my desires, or arm me with patience; that in all things I may serve thee with quietness, Mat: 4.28. and content. The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of herself: and it is as easy for thee to bless me with increase. But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will, howsoever grant that I may never conceive wickedness in my heart, Act: 5.4. to whom thou deniest the conception of a child. jam. 1.15. Let not lust conceive in me, lest it bring forth sin; and sin when it is finished bring forth death. Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the figtree; Mat: 21 19 Gal: 5.22. vers. 23 Heb. 12 11. let no such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever: but let me always produce the fruits of the spirit, against which thine Apostle assureth me that there is no law. Let this thy chastening yield unto me the peaceable fruit of righteousness, since I am exercised therein: so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure, and beseech thee to grant me comfort and joy in that blessed son of a happy woman, even jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. THE TWELFTH SUBjECT. Tears of a childbearing woman. 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travel. 2 After her delivery. Ist: Her tears when she beginneth to fall in travel. The soliloquy consisting of three parts: viz: 1 The cause of the sorrow, and the confidence of the sorrowing. 2 The greatness of the pangs, hazards, and fears of a travelling woman. 3 Consolation, and comfort for a woman in the bitterness of her travel. The first part of the soliloquy, treating of the cause of the sorrow, and the confidence of the sorrowing. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God; for unto the will I pray. When David confessed his actual crimes, he forgot not the guilt of original corruption; & therefore he professed, saying, Behold I was shapen in iniquity, vers. 5. and in sin did my mother conceive me. By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himself was not without sin that dwelled in him. That which is borne of the flesh is flesh, Rom: 7 17. Io. 3.6. as my Saviour himself did tell Nicoden us; and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnal, Rom: 7 14. and sold under sin. This original stain is the ground of all our actual impieties: justly therefore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments, and sorrows of the mother, left women should forget the taste of the apple. I will greatly multiply thy sorrow, Gen: 3.16. and thy conception (said the Lord unto Eve) in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. O this heavy chastisement doth now approach, to make me sensible of my sinful beginning. As I caused the tears to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother; so now even in mine eyes do they likewise arise through the pangs which do seize on me by reason of my babe. Lord, what a trembling possesseth every joint of me! and when I hope for ease by changing my seat, or lying on my Couch, or attempting to walk, even in every place doth the sharpness of the pain increase its strength; and though I multiply my cries, yet mine anguish ceaseth not. O what miserable perplexities are we weak, and sinful women involved in! We who can worst endure are most afflicted: and although our tempers, and constitutions conclude us weaker by fare then our husbands; yet our sorrows do greatly exceed their sufferances. Certainly we suffer more, because we were first in the first offence: and for our forwardness both to consult with the Serpent, and to tempt the man, our portion is the greater in pangs, and throws. We are driven to such extremities, that either we must be tormented in our issue, or else reproached for our barrenness. Surely had Eve but been sensible of the least smart of a travelling woman, she would have continued in integrity for fear of the punishment. Gen: 2.17. Our first parents were threatened but with dying the death in the day they did eat of the tree of knowledge: but I, me thinks, do find that that curse is increased; for death will not come without the society of pains. There is something of that punishment in the pains which prepare us for the entertainment of death; something in the very instant of the soul's departure; and yet, unless our merciful Redeemer take pity upon us, the greatest of all will be in a second death. Of the first pains I am now made most accurately sensible: in the second I must agree with the children of Eve: but from the last I have an assured hope that my God will deliver me. Oh, my pains, my pains grow stronger, and stronger: What shall I do? Strengthen me, o jesus, and enable me to suffer with constancy, and patience what I must endure for a child. Elizabeth was not come to the hour of torment when, Lu: 1.24. vers. 25 hiding herself for five months together, she rejoiced, and said, Thus hath the Lord dealt with me in the days wherein he looked on me, to take away my reproach among men. Yet are these pangs more than the reproach of barrenness; not for themselves, but for their happy event. Barrenness produceth shame, and discontent: but fruitfulness produceth sorrow with comfort. The barren desire what they partake not of: the fruitful may have content in that which causeth their torments. By us the kingdom of heaven is increased: by them the world seemeth ready to expire. But whence doth this fruitfulness accrow unto us? If it were only, and merely from ourselves, than I suppose that none would be barren. If it be a blessing sent from God, I wonder at the wicked; for the Psalmist saith, They are full of children, Ps: 17.14. and leave the rest of their substance for their babes. But I need not wonder, if I either consider the foregoeing words, where the Prophet saith, They have their portion in this life: or if I remember that it is in the power of God even from them to produce some vessels of honour. Israël was threatened by Moses, saying, Deut: 28.15. It shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, that Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body. vers. 18 O how full of horror assuredly was this to the women of Israël, that those children should be sentenced to eternal weeping, for whom their mothers had cried in the anguish of their births! Such, o such there are, and always shall be, even to the end of the world, as shall draw tears from the eyes of the weaker parent both in the extremity of the throws, and in the fear of their destruction. Surely such wieked children as those, if any, shall have cause to expostulate as did the patiented job, job. 3.11. vers: 12 and cry, Why died I not from the womb? Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the beliy? Why did the knees prevent me; or why the beeasts that I should suck? c: 10.18 Wherefore hast thou brought me forth out of the womb? Oh that I had given up the ghost and no eye had seen me! Or they may say as once did the Prophet jeremiah, Cursed be the day wherein I was borne: jer. 20.14. vers. 15 let not the day wherein my mother bore me be blessed. Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A manchild is borne unto thee, making him very glad. vers. 16 And let that man be as the cities which the Lord overthrew, and repent not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide: verse 17 because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave and her womb to be always great with me. vers. 18 Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labour, and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame? But I will hope better things of mine, and beseech my God that it may be like unto Paul, who speaketh of himself, saying, Gal: 1.15. vers. 16 God did separate me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace, to reveal his son in me etc. Oh my pains grow sharper and sharper, and are strong remembrancers of the pollution even of conception. But there is a conception as well Spiritual as Carnal: I must therefore examine Whether the womb of my heart hath not conceived sin? job. 15 35. Is: 33.11. for these pangs arise not without foregoeing wickedness. The hypocrites, saith job, do conceive mischief. The enemies of the church, saith the Prophet Isaiah shall conceive chaff. If therefore, with the hypocrites, c. 59.4. I have conceived mischief, I fear that with them too, I have brought forth-vanity, and my belly hath prepared deceit. If, with the sinful jews, I have not called for justice, nor pleaded for truth: if I have trusted in vanity, and have spoken lies; then I fear that with them too, I have conceived mischief, and brought forth iniquity. If, with the enemies of the church, I have conceived chaff; then I fear that, with them too, I have brought forth stubble, and I may justly suspect that my breath, as fire, shall devour it. Ps: 7.14 If, which the ungodly, I have traveled with iniquity, and have conceived mischief; then I fear that, with them too, I have brought forth falsehood. Thus if I have joined with the hypocrites, if with the enemies of the church, if with the sinful jews, if with the ungodly, or if I have trusted in vanity, what then can I look for, but that having conceived all kind of abominations, I should (with the wicked man) travel with pain all my days? job. 15.20. Thus, I must confess, I have been forward in the conception of all manner of evil; and the production hath been even as quick as the thought. Ex: 1.19. I may say of myself as the Midwives said once to angry King Pharaoh concerning the Hebrew women; I have been lively, and have been delivered of my grievous crimes ere any midwife came in unto me. I have been both father, and mother, and midwife, and nurse, and every thing else to bring the abortive bats of impiety into the world. What now can I expect therefore, but that I should die in anguish; and that my child which I go with, should be at once both mine issue, and my destroyer? But I will hope for better, and I will pray for better; for I have a good, and a merciful God, in whom I will trust. To him I will fly both for remission, comfort, and secure. I know that he is offended with the sinful progeny of my corrupted heart: Ex: 1.16. but to appease him I will destroy them all, as the Midwives were commanded to do by the Hebrew males. Ps: 137.9. I will gain happiness by such an execution as was required upon the daughter of Babylon: for I will take them, and dash them, both the great and the little ones against the stones. Or if that will not destroy them, I will use them as the Almighty did the chariotts and the boast of Pharaoh; I will cast them into the sea, Ex: 15.4. vers. 5. vers. 1. and the depths shall cover them. The sea shall be my tears, in which I will sink them so deep, (even the horse and his rider; the heart that hath conceived, and the sin that hath been borne) that they shall never rise again. Or if this yet will not suffice, vers. 4. I will use them as the Lord did the chosen Captains of the King: I will drown them in the red sea; even in the blood of my blessed Reedemer; where they shall be sunk so deep, that it shall be quite forgotten that ever they were. Thus shall my God be appeased, and shall visit me in love; so that I shall not need to fear when my throws increase, because I will depend on the rock of my salvation. I will resolve with confidence, and a settled mind, that although he slay me, job 13.15. yet will I put my trust in his mercy; and I am assured that he will send me a happy issue to my trials and afflictions. part 2 The Second part of the soliloquy, treating of the greatness of the pangs, hazards, and fears of a travelling woman. SAint john in the Apocalypse telleth us, Rev. 12 1. that There appeared a great wonder in heaven; A woman clothed with the Sun; and the Moon was under her feet; and upon her head was a crown of twelve stars: vers. 2. And she being with child, cried, trave●ing in birth, and pained to be delivered. That woman is the Church, styled a woman both because she is fruitful, and by reason of her subjection to Christ her husband. The Moon is under her feet; the pomp, and prosperity of the world is placed fare beneath her affections. Her crown of stars is the twelve Apostles. This woman, this Church is with child: she conceaveth by faith, she cryeth out in her devotions; she is pained in her sorrows, and several afflictions; and she is delivered when her children are received into glory. If Saint john did liken her pangs unto the pinching throws of a travelling woman, it must needs be imagined that her pains were grievous. Oh I feel, I feel what her torments were resembled unto. Such pains do now begin gin to seize on me, as the greatest in the world have been described by these. jer. 13.21. Such were threatened to judah: Shall not sorrows take thee as a woman in travel? Such to Lebanon: O inhabitant of Lebanon, c: 12.23. that makest thy nests in the Cedars, how gracious shalt thou be when pangs come upon thee, the pain as of a woman in travel? Such to Babylon: Is. 13.6 Howle ye, for the day of the Lord is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty: Therefore shall all hands be faint, vers. 7. and every man's heart shall melt: and they shall be afraid; vers. 8. they shall be inpaine, Ier: 48.41. Kerioth is taken, and the strong holds are surprised, and the mighty men's hearts in Moab at that day shall be as the heart of a woman in her pangs. Such to Edome: c: 49.22. The heart of the mighty men of Edome shall be as the heart of a woman in her pangs. Such to Ephraim: Hos. 13 12. vers. 13. The iniquity of Ephraim is bound up; his sin is hid: the sorrows of a travelling woman shall come upon him: And such to the ungodly, when our Saviour shall come in the clouds: When they shall say, 1. Thes. 5.3. Peace, and Safety, then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. Such as these were inflicted on those Kings that were assembled, and passed by the city of the great King on the north sides of the mountain of holiness: Ps. 48.6 Fear took hold upon them there; and pain as of a woman in travail. Such on Zion: We have heard the fame thereof; jer. 6.24. our hands wan● feeble; anguish hath taken hold of us, and pain as of a woman in travail. c 4.31. And again: I have heard a voice as of a woman in travel, and the anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child; the voice of the daughter of Zion that bewaileth herself, that spreadeth her hands, saying, Woe is me now, for my soul is wearied because of murderers. Such on Damascus: Damascus is waxed feeble, c: 49.24. and turneth herself to flee, and fear hath seized on her: anguish, and sorrows have taken her, as a woman in travel. c: 50.42. Such on the King of Babylon: Every one of the people of the North shall be put in array like a man to battle against thee o daughter of Babylon: vers. 43 The King of Babylon hath heard the report of them, & his hands waxed feeble: anguish took hold of him, and pangs as of a woman in travel. Such on the Prophet Isaiah, bewailing the captivity of the people: Is 21.3. My loins are filled with pain; pangs have taken hold upon me, as the pangs of a woman that traveleth: I was bowed down at the hearing of it; I was dismayed at the seeing of it. And such on the people of God, when they were carried into captivity: c. 26.16. Lord in trouble have they visited thee; they poured out a prayer when thy chastening was upon them: vers. 17 like as a woman with child, that draweth near the time of her delivery, is in pain, and cryeth out in her pangs; so have we been in thy sight o Lord. O these sorrows, these pangs and pains, this faintness of hands, this melting of heart, this anguish, this weariness of soul, this feebleness, this turning to flee, this pain of the loins, this bowing down, this dismaying, and this ●…ying out in pangs is now my portion. Deep shall I drink of this cup of trembling: Is. 51.17. it is already at my mouth: I quiver, and quake at the bitterness thereof. Feign would I delay it; feign would I forget what I must endure it. I shift from place to place, from seat to seat: I wring my hands; I tremble in my cold, and fainting sweats. Feign would I buy it off; and be contented to offer the service even of my whole life, but to be freed from these calamities, which begin to fall on me. Ps: 55.4 My heart is sore pained within me; and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness, and trembling are come upon me; vers. 5. and horror hath almost over whelmed me. I cannot forget how the wife of Phinehas the son of Eli, being near to be delivered; 1. Sam: 4. 19 when she heard the sad tidings that the Ark of God was taken, and that her husband, and her father in law were dead, she bowed herself, and traveled; for her pains came upon her: she traveled, was delivered and died. I cannot forget how Rachel journeying from Bethel, Gen: 35 16. when there was but a little way to come to Ephrath, traveled, and had hard labour: And though when she had hard labour, the Mid wife said unto her, vers. 17 Fear not, thou shalt have this son also: vers. 18 and she had her son, and called him Ben-oni, the soon of her sorrow; but his father called him Benjamin, the son of his right hand; yet she died, The remembrance of these that died in childbirth increaseth my fears, and addeth to mine affliction. I am so dismayed between the pangs which I suffer, and the suspicion of death which possesseth my soul, that I am I know not how divided, and forlorn. One while I resolve to submit to my God; another while I suspect that I shall not possibly endure the severity of my tortures. My tears are many: my pangs increase, and double and triple themselves upon me. One O is not enough to cry; but, as if my short life were only to be inployed in accents of sorrow, I leng then my exclamations, and I cry oooooo &c: as if my pain wax the lesser when I make my complaints either louder, or longer. Sometimes my pangs are so thick, and so violent, that I have not time to fear: and sometimes again my fear is so great, that I have not leisure to mind the pangs I endure. The body suffers and the mind labours; and all is in a kind of destruction, and confusion. Sometimes I fear that I am yielding up the ghost, and then a pull, a tug, a throw commands ●nee to forget my fear, and set myself to endure. Sometimes I fear lest my child should not come right, or not be rightly shaped, or not be perfectly limbed; and then a throw again maketh me lay aside my fears. In the depth of my sufferances I am all most bereft of my senses with the violence of the pain: and at times of intermission I am half distracted with these doubts, and fears. Act: 3.2. Sometimes I think of the man that was lame from his mother's womb, and was faint to be carried; whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which was called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple: and then I am jealous that either my child may be a cripple; or else a beggar. At other times I think of the man at Lystra, c: 14.8. impotent in his feet, who was likewise a cripple from his mother's womb, and never had walked: and presently I fear that mine may be so too. Again sometimes my anxious thoughts fix upon the man who was blind from his birth: Io: 9.1. Mat: 12 22. Mar: 7.32. sometimes on him who was blind and dumb: sometimes on him who was deaf, and had an impediment in his speech: and then I suspect that mine infant may be so too. But why, o why do I harbour such thoughts, or utter such cries of distrust? Why do I embrace such suspicions and fears of the death of myself, or of impotency of my child? If I despair of ease, I forget my comforter. If I submit not to his pleasure, I deny him to be my God. If I repine at my sufferances, I add unto the cause, and so I multiply mine iniquities. I cannot deny that my God is omniscient: I may not deny that my God is omnipotent: I would not deny that my God is compassionate. Since than I do know that he knoweth my miseries, and that he hath power to release me whensoëver he pleaseth; it is my duty to hope in his mercy, and tender compassion. If I fear my death, I condemn my life; and publish to the world my neglect of preparation. If I have not laid up in store against the hour of my departure, especially seeing I do know that many have died in the extremity of their throws, it will plainly appear that I either cared not for heaven, or dreaded not hell. If I fear too much that my child may fail in a due proportion, or too vainly distrust that it may come imperfect, I dishonour my God, who shaped it in my womb. It is not of mine own fashioning: Ps: 139.14. it was fearfully, and wonderfully made by my maker: I must therefore content myself with what he hath allotted me. If the shape be perfect, the greater must be my thanks: if it prove imperfect, the greater must be my patience: in all I must be sure to give glory unto God. My service to him hath been weak, & imperfect; he may justly therefore shape my child according to my service. If so he should do, I cannot resist it; I must not repine at it. I will resolve therefore by the assistance of his grace, that although my cries may be loud, yet they shall not be sinful: they may express my sufferance, but not any impatience. I will fear to die when I think only of my desert; but I will desire to die when I faithfully rely upon the merits of my Redeemer; and desire that this mortal may put on immortality. 1. Cor. 15.54. I know that some children have been borne imperfect; but what I myself do not fashion, I will never repine at. Had I made it myself, it would have been monstrously deformed; for my very best, and most accurate actions are full of imperfections. If therefore it shall have too much, or too little; yet it will be too much for me to sin by murmuring. Lord arm me with patience to suffer what thou pleasest; with faith and hope to go when thou callest; and with joy and thanks to receive what thou givest. part 3 The third part of the soliloquy, administering Consolation, and comfort to a woman in the bitterness of her travel. THe blessed Apostle comforting the Corinthians speaketh to the souls of all the elect, 1. Cor. 10.13. when he saith There hath no temptation taken you, but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able: but will with the temptation allsu make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. O gracious promise! O heavenly mercy! Be just, o my God, in the performance: be speedy in my deliverance. I faint; I die. How long Lord, how long shall I cry? These afflictions seem to exceed the power of a mortal woman to bear, or her patience to endure. O what shall I do? What shall I do? I cry, Ps: 38.8 I rear for the very disquietness of my heart. But hath not God promised to bear my cry, and to help me? Hath he not commanded me to call upon him in the day of trouble; Ps: 50.15. and then promised that he will deliver me, and I shall glorify him? Now, o now is the time for the fullfilling of his promise. This, this is the day of my trouble. Ps: 143.7. My spirit is waxed faint; my friends are disturbed: all eyes here pity me, and weep for my sufferances; and grieve that they cannot ease me. But what shall I do? Shall I despair of his mercy who hath promised me deliverance? O Noah; I may not; I dare not; I dare not; I will not. ps. 71.5 vers. 6. The Lord God shall be my hope: he who hath been my trust from my youth. By him have I been holden up from the womb: he it is who took me out of my mother's bowels, and may deliver me of mine infant: my praise shall therefore be ever of him. I cannot choose but think that Tamar had pangs as great as mine can be, when she laboured of the twins. Gen: 38 27. I cannot choose but imagine that Rebekah suffered as much as I do, c: 25.22. when Esau and jacob struggled in her womb. If these were freed from their pains, & delivered of their children. Why should I complain so much of my torments, and forget what greater I have justly merited? Should I live a thousand years in one continued, and most bitter throw, yet would it not be comparable to a minuit of sufferance in the infernal flames: and yet eternity of those have I wickedly merited, although I feel them not. Seeing then that my God is so good as not only to send me here less torment than I deserve, but also to assure me of an escape from those infernal horrors, why should I repine at these lesser sufferances? Sometimes I find a comfortable intermission: my pangs are not constant, and continued: I have times to breath, and provide for the next. Surely he who sometimes refresheth me with respite, and cessation, doth intent that in my pain I should rely upon his mercy. Is: 66.5 vers. 9 Let him therefore be glorified, and he shall appear to my joy. Shall he bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? Shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb saith the Lord God? There is comfort in his promises: there is ease in his mercy. I must wait the time of his pleasure; and then shall I have the content which he hath promised his chosen. My pangs may endure for a while, but they shall not continue long. 1. Tim. 2.14. This chastisement is sent to put me in mind that Adani was not deceived; but the woman being deceived was in transgression. Yet to my comfort let me likewise remember that the Apostle addeth, Notwithstanding she shall be saved in child bearing, vers: 15 if they continue in faith, and charity, and holiness with sobriety. By childbearing is meant the plunges which I am in, as well as the cares of education, & the rest of the duties to which we are obliged. Do thou, o my jesus, strengthen my faith in the assurance of thy merits: renew my love and my charity both to my maker, and my neighbour: sanctify me, o blessed Spirit, that I may continue in holiness; and give me patience, that I may endure with sobriety and peace what I must go through. The time may come that this child may bless the womb that bore it; Lue: 11 27. and these paps which my God may spare to give suck unto it. His will must be fulfiled, and my will must submit. If he spare me life, I will render him thanks: If he give me my child, I will dedicate it to his service: but if it be his pleasure through this tribulation to end my days; then I know, and am assured that he will wipe away all tears from mine eyes. Reu. 21.4. Then he will bring me to his heavenly throne, where shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things shall be passed away. The Prayer. O My Lord, and my God, my heavenly father, my merciful jesus; thou who hast filled my belly with thine hidden treasure; Ps. 17.14. and now hast brought me to hope and depend, in the midst of mine anguish, upon thy wont mercies: bow down thine ear, and hearken to the cries of a pained woman. Unto thee, o Lord, do I cry; Ps: 142 5. thou art my refuge, and my portion in the land of the living: attend therefore unto my cry, vers: 6. Ps: 119 153. Ps: 69.29. for I am brought very low. Consider mine affliction, and deliver me; for I do not forget thy law. I am poor, and sorrowful: let thy salvation, o God, set me up on high. Ps: 38.8 I am feeble, and sore smitten: I roar by reason of the disquietness of my heart. vers: 9 1. Tim. 4.10. Ps: 18.1 vers: 2. All my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee. In thee I trust who art the living God; who art the saviour of all, especially of them that believe. I love thee o Lord my strength; thou art my rock, and my fortress; my strength in whom I trust; my buckler; the horn of my salvation, and my high tower: Ps: 7.1. Ps: 20.1 o save me now in this heavy visitation, and deliver thy servant. Hear me o Lord, in this day of trouble: thy name, o God of jacob, vers: 2. defend me. Send me help from thy sanctuary, Ps: 25.16. & strengthen me out of Zion. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate, vers: 17 and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: o bring thou me out of my distresses. vers: 18 Look upon mine affliction, and my pain; vers: 20 and forgive all my sins. O keep my soul, & deliver me: let me not be confounded, for I put my trust in thee. Ps: 71.1 In thee alone do I put my trust; vers. 2. let me never be put to confusion; but deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me. Ps: 40.13. Be pleased, o Lord, to deliver me: o Lord make haste to help me. Give a happy end to these my torments, that I may enjoy the fruit of my womb for which I suffer them. O Lord in mercy (if it may stand with thine eternal decree) preserve both my life, and the life of mine issue. Arm me with patience to undergo these pangs: and in the ●nd give me comfort in what thou shalt send me. If otherwise thou hast determined to end my life by these heavy torments, o my sweet and merciful jesus receive me into thy bosom; that I may pass from miferie to eternal happiness. Hear Lord, & have mercy both upon me, and mine; and grant my petitions for the worthiness of that most merciful, and most blessed son of a woman, thine only begotten, jesus Christ my Lord, and only Saviour. Amen. soliloquy 2 2. ly Tears of a woman after her delivery from the pains of Childbirth. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. A Woman, Io: 16.21. when she is in travel, hath sorrow because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembreth no more her anguish for joy that a man is borne into the world. O how truly doth my heavenly jesus describe both his mercy, and my comfort. I who ere while was full of anguish and tears, am now with comfort brought again to my bed. I who had almost despaired of mercy, in the midst of my sufferances have found a deliverer. Me thinks I could weep because I wept so much; and grieve because my cries did savour of distrust. Many tears did I shed through the anguish which I suffered; but have I none left of sorrow for offending in my pangs? I will beg for pardon at the hands of him who sent me this ease: and then I will thank him for his bounty in sending me this child. Pretty infant, the beginning of his cries was the end of mine: and the beginning of his trouble was the end of my labour. O how did I long to see him whom I now embrace! How did I wish to be delivered of him whom yet again I receive! He is parted from my womb to be carried in mine arms; and he who before was the burden of my bowels, now is made the delight of mine eyes. Now with a greater comfort I hope (than the first sinner embraced the first that ever was borne) I may rejoice, and say, I have gotten a man from the Lord. Gen: 4.1. 1. Chr: 4.9. Gen: 35.18. True it is that I might call him a jabez, because I bore him with sorrow. I might name him Ben oni, because he was the son of mine affliction, and sorrows: but I will rather with jacob, call him Benjamin, the son of my right hand. O how gracious was my God unto me, in that he sent me a midwife to help me; neighbours to comfort me; a house to cover me; a fire to warm me; and now a bed to ease me! The mother of my Lord had not an house, but a stable only; Lu: 2.7 for there was no room in the Inn. Her holy child was laid but in a manger, whereas mine is in a cradle: yet I am wicked; I am sinful and unclean: yea and this babe is not borne without original pollution. But I will beg of the Lord that (with Simeon) I may take up my jesus in mine arms, vers: 28 or rather in my heart: and I will beseech him that as I desire to embrace him in my soul, so he will embrace me in the arms of his mercy. Me thinks when I remember how hardly the Israëlites were used by the Egyptians when the midwives were commanded to slay the males, Ex: 1.16. I cannot choose but tremble at the miseries of the women. It might seem a sin in them to desire sons, seeing they knew that their birth was but a step to their graves. Those merciful hands which brought them into the world were commanded to be the executioners of the innocent babes. The women were to be as cruel in their murders as the King was in his commands: and yet such bloody acts were to be called executions, and not styled murders. They had a command to put in practice what was so horrid, and barbarous: whereupon they were perplexed to think that either they must necessarily disobey authority; or else destroy those who had not offended. It is true that if God had commanded it, the act had been righteous. Gen. 22 2. Abraham not only may, but must be the priest to sacrifice his son, his only son Isaak, when God requireth it. But if God forbiddeth what man commandeth, we must be more ready to suffer, then to obey those commands. When we dare not do what we are unjustly commanded, we must dare to suffer what shall be unjustly inflicted on us. O how grievously was jochebed perplexed in her miseries, Ex: 2.3 when, for fear lest her Moses should be slain according to the decree, she was enforced to expose him to the brink of the river! That child whom she could no longer hid, she was feign to cradle up in an ark of bulrushes. Thus she who durst not keep her infant, adventured upon a trade which she never had learned: but her director was his preserver. Surely the tears which she shed for fear of his death, did persuade the river to carry him alive: for she so bribed the torrent with the drops from her eyes, that it took more compassion than the heart of the tyrant. One word of that King might have saved at once both her sorrows, and her fears. Me think's the very river might have taught him to melt for his cruelty: but where grace is wanting, every thing that should check the petulancy of sin, does but give vigour to the execution thereof. There was a sorrowful mother weeping for fear of the death of him who might peradventure have cost her her life: and there was a child too crying, as if it had been either sensible of the cruelty of the savage tyrant; or else struck with compassion for the tender mother. The cries of both were so loud, and so just, that they pierced the clouds, and were heard up to heaven: and the daughter of the King was moved to save what her father in his fury did seek to destroy. The child was found by Pharaoh's daughter; and ignorantly as well as compassionately she put him to nurse to his indulgent mother. O what cannot God do, when he decreeth to act? His justice is severe and potent; Ps: 145 9 but his mercy (which is over all his works) is full of goodness, and wonder. He who preserved Moses, hath saved this infant, and I hope he hath chosen him for a vessel of honour. Zacharias was promised that he should have joy and gladness in john the Baptist. Luc. 1.14. I will hope for the like in this newborn babe; and I will beg of my Lord that he may be beloved of him. Him I must magnify for the deliverance of myself: and him I must thank both for the shape, & the life of my child. My womb might have proved the grave of mine infant; and myself the sepulchre of a child unseen. I might have died in the birth of this which I embrace: and the little infant ignorant of my cries, might unwittingly have been the destroyer of his mother. Or else I might have lived, and this child have died: so should the tears which I had shed through the extremity of my pangs, be seconded with more for the loss of my desires. In all these mercies I must look up to my Redeemer; and acknowledge him the father, and donour of these blessings. I will therefore magnify him for his goodness, and praise him for his loving-kindness. Ps: 106 1. I will give thanks unto the Lord, for he is gracious, because his mercy endureth for ever. The Prayer. O Merciful God, heavenly father, who hast now most especially made known unto me, Eph: 3.20. that thou art able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask, or think; make me thankfully rejoice in the work of thy love, and thy tender mercy. Thy favours are great and wonderful, in sparing the life of myself & mine infant: in freeing me from my pangs, and him from the darkness of the silent womb. Thine, o Lord, is the power by which I am delivered: thine is the mercy by which I am safely returned unto my bed: thine is the work of the frame and fashion of this my babe: thine therefore shall be likewise the glory for ever and ever. Grant, blessed Father, that I may never sorget thy goodness; but express my thankfulness in my new obedience. Make me careful in the performance of what service I promised thee in the extremity of mine anguish. As thou hast given me the fruit of my body, to the joy of my heart; so give me the fruit of righteousness sown in peace. Iam: 3.18. vers: 17 Give me the wisdom which is from above, that is full of good works without hypocrisy. Lord make me thy servant by grace; and make this child thy child by adoption, and mercy. Give me comfort in his life for the sorrows which I endured at his birth. Gal: 1.15. Separate him from the womb, as thou didst Saint Paul, that he may be a chosen vessel of sanctification, and honour. Teach me innocency and simplicity by the example of this infant; and make me hereafter teach him goodness and righteousness by the power of thy grace. Make us always children in wickedness, 1. Cor. 14.20. 1. Pet: 2.2. Gal: 4.19. but not in understanding; that so, as new borne babes, we may desire the sincere milk of thy word, that we may grow thereby. Let thy son Christ be form in this little infant that as it hath been preserved by thy power and providence in the first birth, so it may feel thy mercy and grace in the second. Lord give a blessing to whatsoëver shall be used for the recovery of my strength, that I may always praise thee both in prosperity and adversity. Give thy blessing to the means for the nourishment of this child. Give it strength that it may live to receive the seal of thy mercy in the laver of Baptism: and do thou be present with thy blessing when the sign shall be administered. Lu: 2.52. O let it live (if it be thy blessed will) and grow up in wisdom, and in stature, and in grace both with thee, and with men; that so I may magnify thy name for making me an instrument to propagate the number of thine elect, who am the weakest, and the unworthiest of women. Increase thy Kingdom da●ly. Take pity upon all that suffer afflictions, especially on those women who are in labour of children. Give them comfort in the time of their miseries, ease from their torments, joy in their desired issue, and thankfulness for thy blessings. Lord grant that both I & they may sing praises to thy name for the greatness of our deliverances, and express our thanks in our godly lives; that when this painful life shall have an end, we may sing triumphantly in eternal glory, through jesus Christ our only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. 13. THE THIRTEENTH SUBJECT. Tears in the time of a general Pestilence. The soliloquy. Consisting of six several parts, and treating of, 1 Mourning by example, in a public calamity. 2 Several causes of God's visitations. 3 Sin especially the cause of the Pestilence. 4 Several examples of dreadful Pestilences. 5 God's threatening before his visitation. 6 The duty of a Christian, decreeing both to whom, and for whom we ought to pray in the time of Pestilence. The first part of the soliloquy, treating, of mourning by example, in a public calamity. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THe heart of the wise is in the house of mourning: Eccl: 7.4. (saith Solomon) but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. Is the heart then, sometimes in a pilgrimage from the body? Or is the body required to visit the sick, yea though the disease be infectious? Or are we always, by command, Ps: 42.3 to imitate the Prophet, whose tears were his meat day and night? The heart indeed is often from home; and is least where it liveth, most where it loveth. The sick must be visited, or else my Saviour will complain as he doth in the Gospel, saying, I was sick, Mat: 25 43. job: 2.11. and ye visited me not. When Jobs three friends heard of the evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him, and to comfort him. vers: 13 So they sat down with him upon the ground, 2. King. 13.14. and mourned seven days and seven nights. When Elisha was fallen sick of his sickness wherewith he died, joash the King of Israël came down unto him, and wept over his face, and said, O my father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. c: 8.29. When wicked King joram went to be healed in jezreel of the wounds which the Syrians had given him at Ramah, Ahaziah the son of heboram King of judah went down to see him in jezreel, because he was sick. Thus do I read of a holy Patient visited by friendly mourners: a holy Prophet visited by a weeping King: a wicked King visited by another as wicked as himself. All these were visiters, or visited: but I do not find that the diseases were infectious. No: I must therefore imitate the best of them in my charity to others; but I may not forget charity to myself. Wilfully to run into apparent danger is desperately to tempt the keeper of Israel. What shall I then do? The passing bells inform mine ears of the mortality of my neighbours; & yet I cannot, I must not visit them. What (I say) shall I do? What course shall I take? Charity commandeth me, compassion hasteneth me to the dying Christians, that by my advice, or at least by my prayers I might express my commiseration. And yet, when I am just at my door provided, resolved, intended to go, even then mine own health, the health of my family, and (which is greater them all these) the fear of displeasing my gracious protector bring me back again, and keep me at home. I would not be un-charitable; but I must not be desperate. Well then: I am resolved what I will do. I will (with Solomon) go to the houses of mourning, the houses of the visited; yet not in body, but in mind, and in purse; I will pity them, and I will send relief unto them. I dare not go in person, but I will go in affection; and for my neighbours groaning under the evil of punishment, and for myself burdened with the evil of sin, I will feed upon my tears day and night. I must grieve for myself in particular; and yet I must not be so unkindly covetous, as to keep my tears only for myself. In public calamities those who shed no tears may be justly suspected to have no bowels. I find myself not un-apt to weep; for I am prompted to that by the weakness of my disposition. And yet I suspect myself; I am jealous of myself that my tears do rather flow from my fear of infection, then from a fellow-feeling of the miseries which the infected suffer. To heighten therefore my mourning, and to justify it by my compassion, I will propose to myself the examples of others, such as I find recorded in the word of my God. example 1 When the destruction of the jews was near at hand, the Lord called upon them by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Consider ye, Ier: 9.17. and call for the mourning women that they may come; and send for cunning women that they may come: And let them make haste, vers: 18 and take up a wailing for us, that our eyes may run down with tears, and our eyelids gush out with waters: vers: 19 for a voice of wailing is heard out of Zion, How are we spoilt, etc. The women were commanded to hear the word of the Lord; vers: 20 and their ears to receive the word of his mouth: they were to teach their daughters wailing; and every one her neighbour lamentation: vers. 21 For death was come up into their windows, and entered into their palaces; to cut off the children from without, and the young men from their streets. vers. 22 Even the carkeises of men did fall as dung upon the field, and as the handful after the harvestman; and none did gather them. The case is now with us, as it was then with the jews. Alas, how are we spoilt too! How is death come up into our windows by the infectious air! How do our children die, and our young men fall! Our children which know not the cause; and our young men that trusted in the strength of their youth! O how do the carkeises of men fall as dung upon the open field, & as the hand-full after the harvest man; and yet there are none to gather them up! They perish without, because either there is not room enough left with in doors for them; or not people alive to attend them in their sickness; or not people of strength enough to un-lock the doors; or not means for their sustenance if they enter in. Thus necessity driveth them into the fields; and there mortality seizeth upon them, where no person is found to bury their bodies; no bearers to carry them to the surfeited earth; no friends to bewail the loss of their lives; and no Christians to cover them from their gazing spectators, the very fowls of the air, and the beasts of the field. What heart would not break; what eye would not weep; what soul would not lament for this sad visitation? Lam: 1.16. For these things (with jeremiah) will I weep: mine eye, mine eye shall run down with water; because the comforter which should relieve our souls, is fare from us. example 2 The Lord hath thrown down jerusalem (saith the Prophet) and hath not pitied; Lam: 2.17. and he hath caused their enemy to rejoice over them; he hath set up the horn of their adversary. vers: 18 Their heart cried unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give thyself no rest; let not the apples of thine eyes cease. Arise, vers: 19 cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out thine heart like water before the face of the Lord: lift up thy hands towards him, for the life of thy young children that faint in the top of every street. vers: 1. Even thus hath the Lord covered us also with a cloud in his anger, as than he did the daughter of Zion; and cast down from heaven unto the earth the beauty of our Israël; and remembered not his foot stool in the day of his anger. An enemy destroyeth, and rejoiceth over us: but such an enemy it is, as neither can hear, nor will spare. The very air which was created to cool the flames of our scorching hearts, is so poisoned with the infection, that the more we make of it, the less we ourselves are made by it: the closer we seat it even to and in our hearts, the nearer doth the infection approach our spirits. The corrupted air shall be therefore cleansed by the thick groans that shall fly from my heavy heart; and be purified with the thunder of my loudest cries. With Moab in the prophecy, Is: 15.2 vers: 3. I will howl over Nebo, and over Medeba In the streets let every one gird himself with sackcloth: on all their heads let there be baldness: on the tops of our houses, and in our streets let every one howl, ●er. 48.4. weeping abundantly; for we are destroyed; for our little ones have caused a cry to be heard. Oh our sucklings that cry for milk from the breast, suck in destruction when they expect their nourishment. For these things (with jerusalem) I will weep sore in the night (in this night of a general affliction): Lam: 1.2. my tears shall be on my cheeks, because among all our lovers there is none to comfort us. example 3 At the final desolation of the house of Israël, Eze: 7.16. the Prophet told them that, They that fled away of them should escape, and should be on the mountains like Doves of the valleys, all of them mourning, every one for his iniquity: All hands should be feeble, vers: 17 and all knees should be weak as water: vers: 18 They should also gird themselves with sackcloth and horror should cover them; and shame should be upon all their faces, and baldness upon their heads. Lord, what a time of mourning should here be! What a time of horror! Destruction is threatened; and whom destruction miss, mourning should overtake, feebleness should follow, weakness should pursue, & horror should cover. Oh, that very time is come now upon us: that prophecy is fulfiled in our Israel. Here is no sword to slay us; no fiery engines of a hellish invention to murder us; no men to take us captives: but here is worse, fare worse; here is the Pestilence that walketh in darkness, Ps: 91.6 and the destruction that wasteth at noonday. Here are houses not inhabited; streets not trampled; churches not frequented, sick not visited, hungry not fed, doors not opened, bells not ceased, and graves not satisfied. Is: 24.10. Prov● 30.15. Every house is shut up, that no man may come in. The horseleech hath here her two daughters crying give, give. Here are three things not satisfied; yea four things that say not It is enough. The hungry cry give, and the thirsty cry give, and the sick cry give, and the grave cryeth give. The hungry pine, and therefore cry; the thirsty skorch, and therefore cry; the sick want help, and therefore cry; but, o, the grave is daily fed, and yet it is daily hungry. The mouth thereof is opened, and it devoureth men; and yet for all that, it still cryeth for our return to the dust as we were. Eccl: 12.7. The mountains the great persons escape not: the habitations of men are like the wildernesses for beasts, because the inhabitants are burnt up with the fiery Pestilence. Therefore (with the Prophet) for the mountains will I take up a weeping, Ier: 9.10. and wailing; and for the habitations of the wilderness a lamentation; because they are burnt up that none can pass thorough them; neither can men hear the voice of the cattles. example 4 The house of Israël was commanded to seek the Lord: Amos. 5.4. vers: 5. but they on the contrary are said to have sought Bethel, and to have entered into Gilgal, and to have passed to Beersheba: vers: 16 Therefore the Lord, the Lord of hosts, the Lord said thus: Wailing shall be in all streets, and they shall say in all high ways, Alas, Alas: and they shall call the husbandman to mourning, and such as are skilful of lamentation to wailing: vers: 17 and in all vine-yards shall be wailing, for I will pass thorough thee, saith the Lord. Here is again a cloud of sorrows; a thick mist of groans; vers: 18 for the day of the Lord is darkness, and not light. This cloud overcasteth us too; this mist choketh us; this darkness blindeth us. Here is wailing in our streets, to dim our eyes; here is the husbandman mourning, to stifle us with sorrow; and here is the mourning of the vineyards, Ps: 104.15. to cloud our souls. Our hearts, which should have been gladded with the fruit of the vine, are squeezed and pressed like the bunches of grapes. Our bellies, which should have been filled with the fruits of the earth, do cry in their emptiness, and wail with the husbandman. One woe courteth another: one curse saluteth another. Our sickness is great, and yet our famine too is great; not that the earth hath forgotten to be fertile, but by reason that men are afraid to furnish us. Pestilence consumeth, and hunger cryeth: thus the visited die they know not of what; for sickness calleth, and hunger calleth, and want calleth, and sorrow calleth: all of them join in their hideous concord, in their horrid discord, and call for our ruin, and yell for our destruction. That heart which bleedeth not for such unutterable sorrow, must needs be stone, or steel: nay worse; for stones will weep, to complain with the clouds; and steel will drop in a time of storms. Heart, if thou art a woman's, break; if thou art a Christian's, lament; if thou art mine, bemoan the afflictions which dwell among my friends, joel: 2.6. and the blackness which the faces of my neighbours have gathered. Ps: 35.13. I will (with David) put on sackcloth now, though for my very enemies which are sick; and humble my soul with fasting: and I will go heavily, vers: 14 as one that mourneth for his mother. With the Prophet Isaiah, Is: 16.9 I will bewail with the weeping of jazer the vine of Shibmah: I will water thee with my tears, o Heshbon, and Elealeh. Or with jeremiah, Let mine eyes run down with tears night and day, and let them not cease; Ier: 14.17. for the virgin-daughter of this people is broken with a great breach, with a very grievous blow. example 5 The Prophet Ezekiel telleth the Israëlites that The time is come; Eze: 7.12. the day draweth near: let not the buyer rejoice, nor the seller mourn; for wrath is come upon all the multitude thereof. vers: 27 The King shall mourn, and the Prince shall be clothed with desolation; and the hands of the people of the land shall be troubled. O Israel, how great were thy pangs, when thus thou wert visited! O how deep are our groans too in this day of our visitation! The Israelites are dead; their torments are forgotten: but we live; we live dying; we live to suffer; we live to die. To die, said I? O that death were sweet indeed, if it would come with a wish; if it would hasten its approach: it were sweeter than the honey, Ps: 19.10. & the honiecombe. What was formerly our dread, is now our desire. What we posted from, we would now hasten unto, could but Death yet grow so pittiefull, so merciful as to hear our desires. But we cannot either die when we would, or how we would. We may not choose either the time, or the manner of our death. See, See, how it stare's us in the face; and looks upon us in every passengar that crawleth by our doors; in every coffin that is carried by our windows. Dye we must; but of what disease? By what means? If of age, 'tis welcome: if of a consumption, 'tis kind. But what if of the Plague? What if of the Pestilence? Woe unto us, there is our fear; thence is our trembling. If that arrow be shot at us, we shall have no preacher to pray by us, or to administer ghostly consolation unto us; no friend to visit us; yea and, it may be, neither physic to help us, nor meat to strengthen us, Noah nor servant to attend us. We may call, but none will dare approach to answer us: we may weep, but none will dare come to comfort us. This, this day is come upon us. The buyer rejoiceth not, fearing lest with his bargain he purchase a disease. The seller mourneth not, hoping that though he lose by his bargain, yet his money will furnish him with things for necessity. Thus the wrath of God is come upon us: we are cleathed with desolation. This I feel; and yet I feel it not: I hear of it; but it cometh not yet upon me: it walketh by my doors; it beckeneth to me in the streets; it knocketh at my habitation; and yet, for all this (blessed be my God) it is not yet entered. But who knoweth how soon that affrighting disease may force open my door; or creep in at my window; or peep in at a key hole; or slink in at a crevise? The disease is general; but my sorrows shall be therefore as general. All others shall not weep, and myself alone rejoice. joel. 1.9. The meate-offering and the drinke-offering (the participation of the holy Communion) through fear is cut off from the house of the Lord: the Priests, the Lord's Ministers do mourn. Hos: 4.3. The land mourneth, and every one that dwelleth therein languisheth; with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of the heavens. Therefore (with Ez●…) I will go into the chamber; Ezr: 10 6. and when I am come thither, I will eat no bread, nor drink water; for I will mourn, because of the transgressions of us all. Or (with Nehemiah) I will sit down and weep, Neh: 1.4. and mourn certain days; and fast, and pray before the God of heaven. example 6 The Lord God of hosts did threaten to touch the land of Israel, Amos. 9.5. and it should melt, and all that dwelled therein should mourn; and it should rise up wholly like a flood, and be drowned as by the flood of Egypt. Thus hath he threatened us also; and hath he not brought it to pass? See, Ps: 97.5 See how the land melteth; yea melteth like wax at the presence of the Lord; at the presence of the God of the whole earth. Needs must the land, (the hearts of the inhabitants of the land) melt at his presence, seeing the Apostle styleth him a consuming fire. Heb: 12 29. O how all do mourn that dwell in the land! The parents lament the sickness of the child; the wife of the husband; the servant of the mistress: all mourn, all lament. It may now be truly said that the whole land is drowned: for, what eye is not dimmed with tears? What house is not filled with tears? What street is not washed with tears? If he saltness of water will cause a barrenness of the earth, what fruit can possible our land produce, which is thus moistened, thus watered with the brine of our tears? And yet, me thinks, the earth appeareth as greedy as ever; for it speedily devoureth whatsoever is sprinkled on it by the sorrows of the inhabitants. The infected cry, and the languishing cry: and shall not my tears much rather trickle down my cheeks, although my door is not yet converted into pasture; nor my walks overgrown with the springing grass? O yes, much, much rather: yea and with the more courage will I weep, by how much the more I retain my strength to weep. I hear, Ier: 4.31. me thinks the voices of the visited as of a woman in travel; and their anguish as of her that bringeth forth her first child, bewailing themselves, and spreading their hands, and each of them saying, woe is me now, for my soul is wearied because of this murdering sickness. Is: 22.4 Therefore will I take up the resolution of the Prophet Isaiah; and whosoever shall come to divert my tears, to them I will say, Look away from me; I will weep bitterly: labour not to comfort me. Or (with jeremiah) my soul shall weep in secret places, Ier: 13.17. for their pains; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears; because the Lord's flock is thus destroyed. The Second part of the soliloquy, treating of Several causes of God's visitations. I Mourn, and I mourn; and all out of a sense of the general sufferance: I mourn and I mourn by precedent: But do I find the cause of our distresses? The ground of our sicknesses? Pestilence is not the only arrow that is shot from the Almighty, when his revenge is stirred up: and yet every punishment is termed a stroke a stripe, a plague. When the Lord intended the spoil of the Egyptians by the children of Israel, that which in others would have been deemed theft, or at the least a cozenage, was in the Israelites but justice, and done in obedience to him who is Lord of all, Ex. 12.36. when they spoilt the Egyptians of their jewels, which yet they but borrowed. vers. 35 And yet this to the lender's is termed a plague; for the Lord said unto Moses, Yet will I bring one plague more upon Pharaoh, c. 11.1. and upon Egypt; afterwards he will let you go hence. When the firstborn of Egypt were decreed to be slain for the stubborness of the King, the execution of that decree was styled a plague: for God told the Israelites by his servant Moses, c. 12.13. saying, The blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are; and when I see the blood, I will pass over you; and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt. When the children of Israel had longed after the fleshpots of Egypt, and cried, and murmured against Moses and Aaron, saying, c. 16.3. Would to God we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots, and when we did eat bread to the full; for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger: then (I find) the Lord was entreated for flesh; but that flesh proved the destruction of the people, and that destruction is called a plague. For, Num. 11.33. while the Quails were yet between their teeth (saith the text) year the flesh was chewed, the wrath of the Lord was kindled against the people; and the Lord smote the people with a very great plague. Consumption is also said to be a plague; for so saith the Prophet. Zech. 14.12. This shall be the plague wherewith the Lord will smite all the people that have fought against jerusalem: Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet; and their eyes shall consume away in their holes; and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. Thus every judgement is truly a plague; and from God it cometh; and upon men, weak men, mortal men and women it cometh: but it is for their sins; it is for their transgressions. Every one groan's under the affliction; but few for the cause. We are angry with the rod, and we are angry with the Corrector; and yet we quarrel not with ourselves for meriting such, yea more, yea greater, yea more tormenting, more continueing punishments. I will therefore look into the sacred page yet once again: I will look into the roll of that book, Eze: 2.9. and (with Ezekiel) I will spread it before me, and find written therein the Lamentations, vers: 10 and mournings and woes. I will find the punishments, and I will find out the offences too. I will mourn with them, with us, with every one that is visited: & with them, & for ourselves I will pry into the causes of our maladies, seeing I know that God will not be angry without a cause. Ps: 89.30. We do first forsake his laws, and walk not in his judgements; we first profane his statutes, vers. 31 and break his commandments; vers. 32 before he visiteth our transgression with the rod, and our iniquity with stripes. example 1 Wherefore did the Prophet jeremiah cry out, Ier: 23.9. and say, Mine heart within me is broken; all my bones shake: I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the Lord, because of the word of his holiness? Here I find the Prophet in a strange and fervent passion, in a trembling ecstasy: yet not too great if I consider the cause, if I weigh the verse that immediately ensueth: For the land (saith he) is full of adulterers: vers: 10. for because of swearing (or cursing) the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up; and their course is evil, and their force is not right. Was jerusalem thus visited for swearing, and cursing? Was Samaria thus burnt up with drought for adultery? Lord what then hath not this land deserved? An oath in every tongue causeth a cross upon every door. Uncleanness in every person causeth the foulest sores in every patiented. The sins are universal, the punisbment must needs therefore be as universal. The punishment is become general; o that our sorrow would grow as general. This disease may be cured by lotion: For my part therefore I will be the first that shall step into Bethesda, Io: 5.2. for I have laid the longest in my sins: long have I also waited for the salvation of my God. I will imitate the Prophet jeremiah, and cry out with him, and as truly as he, Mine heart is broken. example 2 Why did the Prophet Micah resolve to Wail, and to howl; to go stripped, and naked; Mic: 2.8. to make a wailing like the Dragons, and mourning as the Owls? vers: 3. Was it not because the Lord was coming forth out of his place; coming down to tread upon the high places of the earth? Was it not because the mountains should be vers: 4. melted under him, and the valleys be cleft, as wax before the fire, and as the waters that are poured down a steep place? Here was destruction for Samaria, and ruin for jerusalem; vers. 5. but all this was for the transgression of jacob, and for the sins of the house of Israel. The graven images were the sins of the people: idolatry incensed the wrath of the All mighty. Well might he punish, when the work of men's hands rob him of his honour whose workmanship we are. Well might he resolve to be known the mighty God in his revenge, whom they would not acknowledge to be God when he forbore them. But is it not just so with us as it was with them? vers: 5. Is not Samaria the sin of Is not Samaria the sin of our jacob? Are not the high places of judah our jerusalem? Here is wrath, and wrath, and plague, and plague; but is not idolatry still in our gates? The God of the Patriarch saith unto us, Gen. 35.2. as jacob did unto his househould, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you. If therefore we have still a noise of the beads; of the chaplets pretended to be consecrated at Rome: if we have pictures worshipped; crucifixes adored; prayers not understood; and other footsteps of the heathen remaining amongst us; I cannot choose but remember what our incensed Creator saith by his Prophet concerning the sins of the jews, jer. 9.9 Shall I not visit them for these things, saith the Lord? Shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this? Lord where thou art not truly worshipped, thou wilt be dreadfully feared. Though this sin be not general, though not universal amongst us; is it not to be found in private? Doth it not lurk in private closetts? Is it not harboured in some secret hearts? Io: 3.30 It hateth the light because it is not the truth: but yet our sins may multiply in the dark, until they have brought us to the land of darkness. O that (with jacob) we would all arise, Gen: 35.3. and go up to Bethel, and make there an altar unto our God; then we know, he would answer us in our distress. This is our plague, this is our punishment which now doth rage amongst us: and is not that our sin? Is not that our iniquity? What remaineth but that (so fare as lieth in me) I should strive to appease the wrath of my God? I will therefore endeavour to blunt his arrow, that it may stick no more when he shooteth it at us. I will pray unto him to remove at once both the sin, and the punishment. I will do as did Micah: I will wail, and howl: I will wail like the Dragons, and mourn like the Owls. example 3 When Ezra had confessed the sin of the people, weeping, Ezra: 10.1. and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israël a very great congregation of men, and women, and children; and the people wept very sore. What ailed the Priest to cast himself down; and the people so sorely to weep? were they not come out of captivity? Were they not busied in re-edifying the house of the Lord? Were not their offerings, and their sacrifices made unto the God of Israël? What now should deject them? What should dismay them? The Lord questioneth Cain the murderer, Gen: 4.6. the fratricide, saying, Why is thy countenance fallen? If thou dost well, shalt thou not be accepted? vers: 7. And if thou dost not well, sin lieth at the door. Thus might judah and Benjamin be likewise examined. They had a sin that lay at the door; yea nearer, closer to them if possible might be; even in their beds, Ezr: 9.1. in their bosoms. They had not separated themselves from the people of the lands, and from doing according to their abominations: but they had taken of their daughters for themselves, vers. 2. and for their sons: yea the hand of the Princes, and rulers had been chief in this trespass. Yet for all this, their punishment was not hitherto come upon them to the full. They had yet but a sprinkling of it: only some drops: or at most but a gust, a small storm; a shower or two of rain. When the Lord was angry, the clouds frowned; they knit their brows; and as it were in the abundance of their compassion, c: 10.9. they dissolved into tears for the sins of the people. But more vengeance was expected; therefore the children of the captivity turned away their wives, vers. 14 that the fierce wrath of God for this matter might be turned from them. If such a sin as this be the cause of this our dreadful visitation, we ought also (with them) to sit in the street of the house of God, trembling, vers. 9 because of this matter. Whether this, or whatsoëver else is the cause of this contagion, the sin of this land; for my part I will resolve (with the same Ezra) to sit astonished at the sins of the land; c: 9.4. and (with the people) I will tremble at the words of the God of Israël, because of the transgressions of the people of this land. I will not arise from my heaviness; vers. 5. joël. 2.13. But I will rend my garment; or rather my heart, and not my garment; and turn unto the Lord my God: for he is gracious, and merciful; slow to anger, and of great kindness; and repenteth him of the evil. I will fall upon my knees, Ezr. 9.5. and spread out my hands unto the Lord my God. example 4 Zion was threatened that her gates should lament, and mourn; and that she being desolate, Is. 3.26 should sit on the ground. Here was the punishment; a grievous punishment: desolation by war; destruction by the sword. vers: 25 Her men should fall by the sword, and her mighty men in the war. But what was the cause? What stirred up the Almighty to shower down his vengeance? Alas, it is too easily found. The pride of the woman was the destruction of the men. vers. 16 It was because the daughters of Zion were haughty, and walked with stretched-out necks, and wanton eyes; walking, and mincing as they went, and making a tinkling with their feet. We are punished; we are afflicted; not by the sword, but (which is more dreadful) by the Pestilence. Our sufferances are not in the same manner indeed as were theirs; and yet we deserve both the manner, and the measure. Our sins are alike; our punishments must therefore be expected alike; alike in the greatness, though they are not in the kind. They seem (me thinks) already to agree in part; for, besides our sicknesses, Mat: 24 6. we hear of wars, and rumours of wars. Yea, they come yet nearer alike: Is: 3.17 for they were threatened that the Lord should smite them with a scab on the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion: and this very judgement appeareth among us in every blain, in every botch, in every carbuncle. Surely our sins are as great, or greater than theirs. The pride of our sex in their dresses, in their laces, in their jewels, in their fashions, in their gaites, in their behaviours, in their attendants, in every thing is greater than Zion's, The effects of pride, their lascivious embrace, their amorous ●urtings are commoner, are frequenter than Zion's. vers. 18 Lord is it not just with thee then, to take away from us (as thou didst ●…om Zion) the bravery of our tinkling ●naments, and our tires, and our chains, vers. 19 vers: 21 vers. 22 vers. 23 and our bracelets, and our rings, and our changeable suits of apparel, and our man●les, and our glasses, and our fine linen, and our hoods, and our veils? We may most justly indeed expect a stink, vers. 24 instead of a sweet smell; and instead of a girdle a ●ent; and instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a stomacher, a girdle of sackcloth; and burning, instead of beauty. For us the land mourneth; for our pride he people are humbled; for our sins the Pestilence reigneth. Lord make us all, with Zion, lament and mourn: make us fit on the ground, acknowledging thy justice, and our sinfulness. Eze. 31 15. God hath come down to the grave among us, as he did at the destruction of Assyria for the pride thereof; and caused Libanon to mourn for us; and the trees of the field to faint for us: therefore, with Zion, I will lament, I will mourn, I will sit on the ground. example 5 A voice was once heard from the high places of Israël, Ier: 3.21. weeping and supplications of the people; because they had perverted their way, they had forgotten the Lord their God. Here was sorrow at the heart for the sin of the soul; and yet no destruction of the body threatened for disobedience. Had they continued in this their repentance they might have prevented the ensueing judgements: but intermission of sorrow proved to be the ground of their sorrow. Hence came the● land to be cursed with barrenness and the Prophet to cry out, c: 12.4. How long shall the land mourn, and the herbs of every field whither, for the wickedness of them that dwell therein● Here wickedness was the cause, and barrenness the effect. But why should the herbs and flowers of the field suffer for the sins of the people? Alas they grew up towards heaven in their grateful acknowledgement that from thence they received their nourishment in the earth. Yea so innocent they were, that when they looked about them, and saw (as it were) the wickedness of them for whose service they were made, every morning hung pearlie tears upon their drooping eyes: and when they saw that men had not half so much remorse as they themselves, they sadly shrunk to bed again in the earth. It was a curse to them to be enslaved in the service of cursed sins: so poisonous is transgression; so mischievous is iniquity. Thus the herbs were cursed for the sins of the jews: but what had the jews done amiss, which we have not exceeded? What wickedness had they committed which we have not surpassed? Therefore our herbs and our flowers, the beauty of our gardens and the pride of our knots is nipped, is withered with the poisonous breath that ariseth from our infected bodies: and yet we fear that what we dispatched the air to kill in our gardens will bring poison to us, and slay us in our houses. Thus we suffer; for, thus have we finned. I will therefore resolve with the Prophet David, Ps: 119 136. that Rivers of waters shall run down mine eyes, because we have not kept the ●aw of our God. example 6 Shall not the land tremble for this, Amos. 8.8. and every ●…e mourn that dwelleth therein? Saith the Prophet Amos. Tremble? For what? Israël knew well enough; the poor were sensible enough; vers. 6. even the poor that were bought for silver, and the needy that were sold for a pair of shoes. Here was oppression in the streets, and crying in the gates; vers. 5. for the Ephah was made small, and the Shekel great; and the balances were falsified by deceit. No marvel that the Psalmist concludeth, Ps. 62.9. Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance they are altogether lighter than vanity. It was thus among the Israelites; and thus it is among us also. Men of low degree are vanity; vanity in the account, and contempt of superiors? vanity in the cruelty of superiors. Men of high degree, the richest traders, the merchants of corn and the other fruits of the earth are a lie: their measures are false, the● weights are false: yea they buy by one, and they sell by another. They devour their brethren, and yet they do it by a● show of justice; for the balances they haw corrupted, and the weights they have pared insomuch as men err most, they are most deceived when they think themselves most righted, best dealt with. This injustie commandeth us justly to mourn: so the belly cryeth, and the back cryeth. The hungry cry when they buy of the rich, and are cozened by the rich: when they suffer in the cozenage, and suffer likewise in the public, in the general punishment for the cozenage. For this our land mourneth: for this our people are visited, our houses are shut up, our streets are not frequented, ou● markets not filled; and yet the hungry lament, and the thirsty do mourn. The poor can neither buy for their money; not be employed in their willing labours to earn them money; Is. 59.11. nor live without money. We roar all like Bears, and mourn sore like Doves. We look for judgement, but there is none: for salvatien, but it is fare from us. Therefore with the oppressed I will cry, and with the visited also I will cry. I will cry with the oppressed for right; and I will cry with ●…e visited for health. How long, Lord, ●ow long wilt thou punish us? c. 44.22. O remove ●…ur sins like a cloud: blot out, as a thick cloud, our transgressions, and as a cloud our sins: return unto us, for thou hast redeemed us. part 3 The Third part of the soliloquy, showing, that Sin especially is the cause of the Pestilence. THe diseased (ignorant of the kind of their maladies) cause the Physician 〈◊〉 consult with their pulses; to examine their ●rine; and by symptoms to find out the ●ause of their disturbance. So should the sick soul also; or else the ignorance of the sin may hinder the cure. General complaints have been made by men groaning under the burdens of several visitations: but doth the Pestilance come by the same rules, and arise from the same causes? Surfeits, and Consumptions, and Fevers, and Palsies, and Pleurisies, and other such sicknesses may have their causes in nature, and their remedies oftentimes by physic: but neither is the cause of the Pestilence so clear in nature; nor is the cure thereof so easy by physic. Or if it be; yet is this disease more infectious, more mortal, and therefore more dreadful than any of the rest. It shall therefore be my first care to find out the cause in my soul, before I look upon the effects thereof in the bodies of sinful mortals. I will examine our times by those of our ancestors; and see whether this general contagion doth not rather proceed from the malice of the soul, then from the air diet, or whatsoever else the Physicians conjecture at. The men which Moses had sent to spy out the land of Canaan returned, 1. Num: 14.36. and made all the congregation to murmur against Moses, by bringing up a slander upon that land of promise: & those very men that did bring up that evil report upon the land, vers. 37 died of the plague before the Lord. What? Of the plague? Of the Pestilence? There were but ten of those spies, and those ten only died. We have the Pestilence too; but it contenteth not itself with ten, & ten, and ten, and ten; but hundreds dye; hundreds are visited; thousands complain; every one feareth. But was their disease the same as ours? Was not theirs an inflammation of their tongues, and worms issueing out of them, as a just recompense●, because with their tongues they had lied? Or was it not some other extraordinary plague from the hand of God? Or was it not that Pestilence which was threatened when the Lord said unto Moses, vers. 11 How long will this people provoke me; and how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs which I have showed among them? vers. 12 I will smite them with the Pestilence, and disinherit them; and will make of thee a greater nation, & mightier than they? Whatsoever their disease was, though I cannot determine it; yet will I consider the cause thereof. The cause was a sin, a grievous sin; a lie: and the effect of this was a sin, a grievous sin; it was murmuring. O thus have we also added sins unto sins. We also lie; we lie grievously, desperately, impudently. Like unto Iob's friends, we are forgers of lies; job. 13.4. Ps. 40.4 Ps. 58.3 Ps. 62.4 Eze. 24 12. Hos. 10 13. we turn aside to lies: we go astray so soon as we be borne, and speak lies: we delight in lies: and we have wearied ourselves with lies: justly therefore now do we eat the fruit of lies. And yet, not contented with this, we murmur too. Against our superiors we murmur, for not governing us according to our licentious, and sinful desires: against the rich we murmur, because we float not in their plenty: yea even against God himself we murmur, because he granteth not our sinful desires. Thus in every thought, and in every word we either find a sin, or make a sin. For this our lying, for this our murmuring we are now visited; we are now stricken; we are (as those spies were) destroyed of the destroyer. 1. Cor. 10.10. The rebellious Israëlites were threatened by Moses that Every sickness, 2. Deut. 28.61. every plague which was not written in the book of the law, them should the Lord bring upon them, until they were destroyed: verse 62 And they should be left few in number, whereas they were as the stars of heaven for multitude. These were the menaces, these were the threats to the children of Israël: but among all these sicknesses, where is that which reigneth among us? Hath God prepared a new punishment for us, such as the Israëlites never suffered, nor the law ever mentioned, nor skill ever cured? Doubtless thus God could afflict us; but he chooseth rather to punish us as he did others, that so we might find out the cause as others have done. He was pleased to tell the Israëlites the cause of their plague which he would send upon them; vers. 62 even Because they would not obey the voice of the Lord their God. Just thus he punisheth us as he punished them; even until we are almost quite destroyed: and he telleth us our sin, our offence too, by his word, by his ministers, by our own consciences, even, that we refuse to obey the voice of the Lord. Just therefore, most just it is, that seeing we have, we do, we will thus sin; even thus, yea thus severely likewise we should be punished. Yea, we deserve it in a fare greater manner; in a far greater measure. He who threatened those that would walk contrary unto him, and would not hearken unto him, Lev: 26 21. that he would bring seven times more plagues upon them, according to their sins: He who by Moses threatened them that If they would not observe to do all the words of that law which are written in that book, Deut: 28.58. that they might fear this glorious name, The Lord thy God: vers. 59 Then the Lord should make their plagues wonderful, and the plagues of their seed; even great plagues, and of long continuance: and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance: The selfsame God hath found us walking contrary unto him; and therefore hath brought on us seven times more plagues then formerly. He seethe that we fear not this glorious name The Lord our God; therefore hath he sent us great plagues, & of long continuance; and sore sickness, & of long continuance. Thus I sit, and muse, and consider of the sickness. I hear the bells tolling; even those bells which were wont to invite us to the temple, that we might know our sins at the mouth of the preacher, and pray for remission of our sins by the help of the preacher; the very selfsame bells serve now to tell me that one man lieth languishing, and desireth my prayers; another man is departed, and wanteth nothing but a funeral; a third man is to be buried, but a neighbourly, and friendly company is wanting. Every stroke of a bell (me thinks) hitteth me at the heart, and biddeth me to prepare for my last farewell. Every toul awakeneth my conscience; and biddeth me remember what my sins have merited. Thus mine ears receive a sound; and thus my trembling heart feeleth a throb, a heating, a panting for my particular sins which have been some cause of this general sickness. Moses went unto the Lord, 3. Ex: 32.31. and said, Oh this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them Gods of gold! But what followed? The Lord plagued the people, vers: 35 because they worshipped the Calse which Aaron had made. There was the sin; & there was the punishment. But was that plague the same as this which now doth rave, and rage amongst us? Surely our sins are the same as were theirs; for we dig the entrails of our mother earth, and (like the Augurs, the soothsayers, though they said no sooth, no truth at all) we conjecture, we divine by those entrails; yea and we decree him who is rich, to be a good man, a fufficient man, an honest man, and what not? We value the man for the gold; we worship him for it; we honour him for it. And is not this to sin with the Israëlites? We do very little differ from those idolaters; even nothing at all. They made them Gods of gold, and we make gold our God. justly therefore are we thus punished by the true God, because we honour that which is no God. The Israelites had this very kind, and sort of plague; such a very pestilence as ours; and for just such a sin as this of ours. Though Moses prayed for them; yea though he desired to be blotted out of the book of God, vers: 32 rather than they should not be forgiven; yet God decreed saying, vers: 33 Whosoëver hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book. Whosoëver hath sinned against him? If he should deal so with us, who should people the land? Who should inhabit our dwellings? Who should enjoy our treasures? He hath begun blotting indeed already. His ink is found in the blackness of every blain; in the blueness of every token; in the redness of every crossed door. But will this blotting always continue? Will he not stay his hand? Will his wrath burn like fire for ever? Ps: 141.7. Our bones lie scattered at the graves mouth, as when one cutteth, and cleaveth wood upon the earth. vers: 8. But mine eyes are unto thee, o God, the Lord: in thee is my trust. Either blot not at all, or only blot out our offences. Hid thy face from our sins, and blot out all our iniquities. Say unto every one of us as thou didst unto jacob by the mouth of thy Prophet; I, Is: 43.25. even I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions, for mine own name's sake; and will not remember thy sins. The Fourth part of the soliloquy, consisting, of Several examples of dreadful Pestilences. LOrd what a hideous din is this in mine ears! There was a groan able to have shaken even the earth itself, had it been imprisoned in the deepest bowels thereof. What, another? Hark! There's weeping too. Oh this is the sad, and wearisome life of us poor sinners, who are caged, and miewed up in our infected cities, and towns, and villages. The diseased groan through the extremity of their pains; and for want of comforts both of body, and soul. The sound are weeping for the miseries of the sick; and long for the deliverance even of their whole families from the burden of the flesh. Some habitations are made both hospitals, and charnel houses, where many a one lieth sick; and for want of help, they sicken without hope, they die without comfort, and they consume without interment. Sometimes again the mother, who dandled her infant in her clasping arms, is enforced in those arms to carry it to the grave. Sometimes the husband, who dear affected the wife of his bosom, is enforced to make her the burden of his shoulders; and to bear her dead corpse to the devouring earth, for want of friends, & neighbours to ease him of the burden. Yea, sometimes the children are enforced to assist their father, in the carriage of their mother to her longest home. O horror, horror, horror! Can pity find no entrance at the hearts of strangers? Can compassionfind no harbour in the bowels of neighbours? Will none perform this act of piety to key-cold woman to the carkeise of a woman, but only her husband, the husband of her affection; and her children, the labour and the fruit of her womb? O how divers in the world would stand amazed at the sight, & hardly determine whether the drops which fall from the faces of the bearers be the sweat of their brows, or the tears of their eyes. Oh what adreadfull time is this! Did ever any age produce a parallel to this severe contagion? Was it ever known that a Pestilence was so general, and so malignant? Did ever any people drink so deep of the cup of sorrow, astonishment, Eze: 23 33. vers: 4. and desolation as we do? Was ever Samaria, or Aholah, or Aholibah, or Babylon, or jerusalem; Ier: 25.20. was ever the king of the land of the Philistines, or Askelon, or Azzah, or Ekron, vers: 21 or Ashdod; was ever Edom, or Moab, or Ammon, or Tyrus, or Zidon; vers: 22 was ever Dedan, or Tema, vers: 23 or any other place so drunk with the cup of fury from the Lords hands, as we are? Hos: 4.18. Our drink was formerly sour with our whoredoms with our abominations: now therefore we have waters of gall to drink; Ier: 8.14. c: 23.15. c: 25.15. Eze: 39 17. vers: 18 vers: 19 Lam: 1.12. we are fed with wormwood; and our cup is a cup of fury, of trembling, and of astonishment. O the plague, the plague it is that eateth our flesh, and drinketh our blood: it eateth the flesh of the mighty, and drinketh the blood of Princes; it drinketh even until it is drunken with our blood. Was there ever any sorrow like unto our sorrow where with the Lord doth afflict us in this day of his fierce wrath? But why do I thus cry out? Why complain I so mournefully, as if our afflictions exceeded all that ever were sent upon the children of men? If I consider our estate by itself, I cannot choose indeed but conclude it miserable: but if I weigh it with the Pestilences of former ages, it will not perhaps appear a burden so un-supportable. Comparisons may peradventure ease my grief, and lessen my torments: therefore (with David) I will remember the days of old; I will meditate on all the works of God. Ps: 143 5. It may be that Solomon may advise me, and comfort me too, where he thus counselleth, Eccl: 7.10. Say not in thine heart, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? For thou dost not inquire wisely concerning this. I will therefore consider the days of old, Ps: 77.5 and the years of ancient times. Num: 16.41. example 1 The children of Israël murmured against Moses and Aaron about the destruction of Korah, Dathan, Abiram, and their accomplices, saying, Ye have killed the people of the Lord: vers: 46 and presently there was wrath gone out from the Lord, the plague was begun. vers: 49 So they that died of the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred, and all in a day; beside them that died about the matter of Korah. example 2 When Israel abode at Shittim, the people committed whoredom with the daughters of Moab: and, Num: 25.1. vers: 3. Ps: 106 28. vers: 29 not contented with this high offence, they also joined themselves unto Baal-Peor, and did eat the sacrifices of the dead. Thus they provoked the Lord to anger with their inventions; and the plague broke in upon them: Num: 25.9. and those that died in the plague were twenty and four thousand. Their sin was double; it was whoredom both carnal, and spiritual: their punishment was therefore almost double to that which was sent for murmuring. example 3 When David sent for the Captain of the host to number the people; joab answered him fairly, saying, 2. Sa●… 24.3. Now the Lord thy God add unto the people (how many soever they be) an hundred fold; and that the eyes of my Lord the King may see it: but why doth my Lord the King delight in this thing? vers. 4. Notwithstanding the King's word prevailed against joab, and against the Captains of the boast: and joab, and the Captains of the host went out from the presence of the King to number the people of Israel. But what was the event thereof? vers: 15 The Lord sent a Pestilence upon Israël from the morning even to the time appointed: and there died of the people from Dan even to Beersheba seaventy thousand men; and all of them in the space of but three days. vers: 13 Here was yet a greater number than before; and yet all of them fell for the sin of one only man: but this one man was a King; and for his eminent offence five times as many were slain, as when the multitude of people joined in a murmuring. He who by the people was acknowledged worth ten thousand of them, c: 18.3. now for his sin became the destroyer of seven times as many of them as he was valued at by them: so great was the anger of the Lord, for a sin so great, and committed by a person so great, so eminent. example 4 The Almighty threatened jerusalem by the mouth of his Prophet, that he would make that city desolate, Ier: 19.8. and an hissing: every one that passed thereby should be astonished, and hisse, c: 49.17. because of the plagues thereof. The same God threatened Edom also by the same Prophet, saying, Edom shall be a desolation: every one that goeth by shall be astonished, and shall hisse at the plagues thereof. The same God again threatened Babylon by the same Prophet, saying, c: 50.13. Because of the word of the Lord, it shall not be inhabited, but it shall be wholly desolate: Every one that goeth by Babylon shall be astonished, and hisse at her plagues. Thus I remember thy judgements of old, o Lord, Ps. 119 52. and receive comfort. Confess I must indeed that we have sinned with our fathers, 2. Chr: 6.37. we have done amiss, and dealt wickedly: but are our punishments as great as our fathers were? Fourteen thousand and seven hundred of them fell at one time: twenty and four thousand at another time: threescore and ten thousand at a third time. Lord, what mighty numbers were here! and yet we fear when one dyeth; we tremble when ten; we run when twenty; we are dismayed when an hundred; we are hopeless, heartless, even almost quite dead already when a thousand departed. But why should not we expect as great plagues as were sent upon any of our ancestors, seeing, that our sins are not less either in number, or weight? Wherein are we better than jerusalem, or Edom, or Babylon, that we are not yet as desolate as were they? That every one that passeth by is not astonished, nor hisseth at us, as they did at them? He who visited them doth visit us: Ps: 89.32. he visiteth our offences with his rod, and our sins with his scourges. Yet he visiteth us not so sorely as he did the Israelites, when fowreteene thousand and seven hundred of them died; or not so severely as when twenty and four thousand of them were swept away: or not so grie.vously as when threescore and ten thousand of them were destroyed; or not so terribly as jerusalem, Edom, and Babylon; for we are not quite desolate: or not so furiously as Nineveh, to whom God spoke by his Prophet saying, Nah: 3.19. There is no healing of thy bruise; thy wound is grievous: all that hear the bruit of thee shall clapp the hands over thee: Or howsoever not so remedilessly as the army of Pharaoh at Euphrates, whom the Lord mocketh by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, Ier: 46.11. Go up unto Gilead, and take balm, o virgin, the daughter of Egypt: In vain shalt thou use any medicines, for thou shalt not be cured. Eze: 12 18. This, o this maketh me to eat my bread with quaking, and to drink my water with trembling and carefulness, for fear lest our sinne-revenging God should punish us as he hath done them. O what mercies doth he not yet offer unto us? What kindness doth he not yet afford us? To our Physicians he giveth knowledge: to our medicines he giveth virtue. The herbs of the fields, and the fruits of the trees, and the flesh of the beasts do yet offer themselves for our cure, and our sustenance. O that we had but so much happiness, as to know the misery which is due to our offences! O that we had but so much mercy from God, as to know his mercy in his gentle visitation! For this our misery will I groan; for these our sins I will lament; for the mercy of my God I will pray, and I will cry, Hear, Ps: 30.10. Ps: 60.11. o Lord, and have mercy upon us: Lord be thou our helper. O be thou our help in trouble, for vain is the help of man. part 5 The Fifth part of the soliloquy, showing how God threatneth before his visitation. IT is a weakness, it is a fondness, it is a madness in people not to believe the sure effects of certain causes, before they become obvious to their senses. In the course of nature we are apt to believe what we dare not try. Who will put his finger into the fire to try if it will burn? Who will cast himself into the water to try whether it will drown him? Yet in things divine we are too incredulous; too full of unbelief. I find that my God hath stricken divers with plagues for the sins which they have committed: But I likewise find that he hath threatened divers before he visited them, that so by their amendment they might prevent those judgements which otherwise would ensue. It is my best way to find out the crying sins of the land, by observing the punishments which are sent us for them: but I must not forget either the patience of our God, or the obstinacy of men; the long-suffering of our Creator, or the impenitency of his creatures. Sure I am that the Lord did always call to repentance before he punished offenders: he hath ever wooed transgressors both by promises, and by threaten before he ever made them sick in smiting them for their transgressions. Mic: 6.13. example 1 When the Israëlites were to be freed from the Egyptian bondage, o how often was Pharaoh admonished to let them go! Moses and Aaron said unto him, The God of the Hebrews hath met with us: Ex: 5.3 let us go, we pray thee, three day's journey into the desert, and sacrifice to the Lord our God, lest he fall upon us with the Pestilence, or with the sword. Lord, how meek Moses begged for the people! yea and in the name of God too; and for an act of religion too; and for fear of judgements too: yea and those judgements not small, or trivial; for they should be either the Pestilence, or the sword; yea and he pretendeth that those judgements should fall upon the Israelites, the people of God, if they neglect their sacrifices; he saith not, upon the Egyptians; he saith not, upon the King: And yet, for all this, the King yielded not; the Israelites sacrificed not; and therefore the plagues, the vengeance came upon the heads of their oppressors. example 2 Gog was threatened for a thing which yet he was suffered to do. The Israelites were to be his purchase; Eze: 38.11. the un-walled villages his prey; all that dwelled without walls, and had neither bars, nor gates should be made desolate by him. Thus the people of God were to suffer for the sins committed against their God. But was the enemy to escape, by whom the people should be corrected? Was Gog to be enriched, and to enjoy the spoil? Nothing less. The very instrument of revenge was not to be freed from the wrath of the revenger; nor the executioner to be accounted innocent, though he punished the guilty. vers. 22 I will plead against him with pestilence (saith the Lord, and with blood. I will rain upon him, and upon his bands, and upon the many people that are with him, an overflowing rain, and great hailstones, fire, and brimstone. Thus the Israelites offended, and were threatened with the armies of Gog. Gog offended, in that he knew not his maker; in that he looked only to his advantage and spoils, whilst yet he executed the vengeance of God: he's therefore threatened; he shall therefore be consumed. When he should have revenged God upon the rebellious people, than God himself would be revenged upon him with judgements from heaven. example 3 The Prophet Ezekiel was sent to threaten the Israëlites for their many rebellions, and thus said the Lord God unto him, Eze: 6.11. Smite with thine hand, and stamp with thy foot, and say, Alas for all the evil abominations of the house of Israël; for they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence. vers: 12 He that is fare off shall die of the pestilence; and he that is near shall fall by the sword; and he that remaineth, and is besieged shall die by the famine: thus will I accomplish my fury upon them. Here is warning given before the blow be stricken; there is the sword already half out; here is the famine already in a due preparation; here is an Angel ready to disperse the pestilence: but, before execution here is notice given; before the punishment here is a threatening scent. Even thus also hath our good God dealt with us: thus hath he warned us. Eze: 33 11. He who delighteth not in the death of a sinner, doth never strike before notice given; for he had rather that our repentance should quiver his arrows, then that by our sins he should be enforced to hit us at the heart. example 4 I will smite the inhabitants of this city (saith God by jeremiah concerning jerusalem) both man, Ier: 21.6. and beast: they shall die of a great Pestilence. Lo here is still the future tense, I will; not I do. God delighteth not in the execution of his wrath; but yet his I will is as sure as his I do. Thus he hath formerly threatened us with his I will; I confess indeed he hath: and yet we would not believe what was to come; & only because we found it not instantly present. Hence it is that now our people cry; now our beasts do roar: and it is but just that men and women should be ranked in the order with beasts, seeing that our sins have discovered us to be more stupid than them. Yet the beasts perish, though they could not sin; and we perish because we can do noe-thing but sin. So the servant suffereth for the offences of the master: so the beasts are punished for the sins of the owners. The Pestilence putteth no distinction between them both, although the one could not, the other would not avoid the punishment. example 5 In the book of Exodus the Lord saith concerning Pharaoh, Ex: 9.15. & the Egyptians Now I will stretch out mine hand, that I may smite thee and thy people with Pestilence; and thou shalt be cut off from the earth. Take heed Pharaoh: he is true who threatneth: and although he saith I will, yet he saith also now I will. He is ready for thee, although thy heart be not ready for him: he is just now prepared to punish, if thou be not just now prepared to obey. I will bring a sword upon you, Lev: 26 25. that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together in your cities, I will send the Pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of your enemies, saith the Lord to the Israëlites. And again: Deut: 28.21. The Lord shall make the Pestilence to cleave to thee, until he have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possess it. Yea, & yet once again: The Lord said unto Moses, Num: 14.11. How long will this people provoke me? And how long will it be ere they believe me, for all the signs that I have showed among them? vers: 12 I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a mightier nation than they. O the fathomless treasure of the bounty of my God Rom: 2 4. O the riches of his goodness, and patience, and long suffering, leading us to repentance! What were the Israëlites, that he should not plague them? Why not presently? The wages is due so soon as the service is done; and the punishment is as due, so soon as the offence is committed: and yet, although God be forward in the former, he is slow to the latter: although he delight in the former, yet is he hardly drawn to the latter. Me thinks when I consider the Israëlites, I wonder at their rebellions: and yet, me thinks, when I consider ourselves, I wonder much more. Is: 5.1. What could have been done more to this vine-yard of God, that he hath not done unto us? vers: 2. He hath sensed us, and gathered out the stones from us, and planted us with the choicest vine, and built a tower in the midst of us, and also made a winepress in this his vineyard, and yet for all this, when he looked that we should bring forth grapes, behold wild grapes. Oh how my heart panteth within me, and my whole self is in a trembling fear, when I consider his mercies, and our rebellions! Dan: 5.5. O me thinks I see a hand-writing against us almost upon every door, every inhabitant, written as it were, with the fingers of a man's hand (as once Be●shazzar saw upon the plaster of the wall); which maketh my countenance change, vers: 6. and my thoughts be troubled, so that the joints of my loins be loosed, and my knees smite one against another: and I cry for mercy, for I have offended; and I knock for compassion, for I have transgressed. God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their cities; with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land; with a Pestilence that should disinherit them: and all this to avenge the quarrel of his covenant, because they still provoked him; because they would not believe him, for all the signs that he had showed among them. But where in had Israel offended? In what manner? In what measure, which this land hath not exceeded? And yet, o how unwillingly doth the Almighty punish us! O how slowly! O how gently! Matt: 11.12. The kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, saith my jesus. Violence indeed, by our daring sins, for we draw the revenger's sword for him: we bend his bow for him, Ps. 7.12 and make it ready: we also prepare for him the instruments of death, vers. 13 Ps. 64.3 because we whet our tongues like swords, and bend our bows to shoot our arrows, even bitter words, vers. 4. that we may shoot in secret at the perfect: suddenly do we shoot at him, & fear not. And what now can we expect but judgements, seeing that we will not offer the just, and rightful violence to the Kingdom of heaven, even the violence of our prayers; the violence of our tears; the violence of sobs, and sighs; and groans in our spiritual combats; and conflicts? What can we expect but vengeance? And what do we meet with, but destruction? He hath threatened, and threatened, again, and again; and yet we have resisted, and resisted, again, and again too. Is: 5.7. When he looked for righteousness, behold oppression: justly therefore, now we look for mercy, behold a cry. A cry in the beds of the languishing; a cry in the chambers of the infected, and pined prisoners; a cry of the healthful for fear of infection; a cry of parents for their tender children; a cry of children for their dying parents. Brother cryeth for brother; sister for sister: all cry for help; Ps. 102 1. all cry for mercy. O Lord hear our prayers, and let our cries come unto thee. The Sixth part of the soliloquy, treating of the duty of a Christian; decreeing both to whom, and for whom we ought to pray in the time of Pestilence. I Weep and weep, and sigh and sigh, and pray and pray: but why do I thus weep, and sigh, and pray? If for myself, it is a debt which is challenged even by nature itself, so that I may have any hope by these means either to prevent, or to cure the sickness. If for others, it is charity; it is a religious duty. Thus we are commanded by the Apostle; Bear ye one another's burdens, Gal. 6.2 and so fulfil the law of Christ. And again by the same Apostle I am commanded to weep with them that weep. Rom. 12.15. But must my tears be general? Must my prayers be universal? For all? For the wicked as well as the godly? There was a time when the Prophet jeremiah might not pray for judah. The Lord said unto him, Pray not for this people for their good: jer. 14.11. vers. 12 When they fast I will not hear their cry; and when they offer burnt-offerings, and oblations, I will not accept them; but I will consume them by the sword, and by the famine, and by the Pestilence. There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sons, c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the jews, & concerning their mothers that bore them, and concerning their fathers that begat them: vers: 4. They shall die of grievous deaths; they shall not be lamented; neither shall they be buried; but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth; and they shall be consumed by the sword, and by the famine; and their carkeises shall be meat for the fowl of heaven, and for the beasts of the earth. vers. 5. For thus saith the Lord, Enter not into the house of mourning; neither go to lament, nor bemoan them; for I have taken away my peace from this people, saith the Lord; even loving kindness, and mercies. vers. 6. Both the great and the small shall die in this land: they shall not be buried, neither shall men lament for them, nor cut themselves, nor make themselves bald for them. And there was a time also when the eyes of jehojakim the son of josiah King of judah; c: 22.17. and his heart were not but for covetousness, and for to shed innocent blood, and for oppression, and for violence to do it. vers. 18 Therefore thus said the Lord concerning him, They shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother, or Ah sister: they shall not lament for him saying, Ah Lord, or Ah his glory. vers. 19 He shall be buried with the burial of an Ass, drawn, and cast out beyond the gates of jerusalem. Thus it was with them; but must it therefore be thus with those which die of the sickness; of the Pestilence? With all? This were a dreadful sentence indeed, To die, and not to be pitied: to die of the plague, and before death not to be prayed for. Who knoweth indeed, but that some such as those men of judah, may be among us? Who knoweth but that some jehojakims may be among the visited? What then? Shall I therefore pray for none? Yea shall I not pray for them? God forbidden. The less they pray for themselves, the more will I pray for them. The less they know God, the more will I pray that they may know him. The sicker they are in body, the more need they have of comfort in mind. What though they in part may be a cause of this mortality? What though their wickednesses have helped to bring this contagion? If they are enemies to me in particular, I will forgive them: though they are God's, I will pray for them; even that he in his good time would be pleased to call them home both to the knowledge, and the practice of his truth. David I am sure did pray for, and pity his enemies; for so he professeth saying, Ps: 35.13. As for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting. Lu: 19.41. And thus did my Redeemer too for jerusalem: for, When he was come near to the city, he beheld it; yea he wept over it, vers. 42 saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! But now are they hid from thine eyes. Shall David weep then for his enemies? Shall my jesus weep for his enemies, for the enemies of his father, Ioh: 20 17. and my father, of his God, and my God; and shall not I weep for those who are in misery, and distress? My saviour knew who were elected, and who were reprobates; and yet he wept over the whole city. I dare not pry into those secret counsels of my God, nor can I know all those whom he hath ordained for heaven othell: shall not I then weep for them all in general in this general calamity? Yes, I will keep my turn: I will sing my part in this doleful consort. Surely if my God should forbid me praying for them; even the very prohibition might peradventure encourage me to perform it, he knoweth that we are apt to do whatsoever he forbiddeth. O my God either take away my readiness, and aptness to contradict thee; or else forbidden me nothing but what thou wouldst have me to perform. But why should I pray for those, who (though they are visited) refuse to repent? Shall I hope to alter the eternal decree of him with whom is no variableness, jam. 1.17. neither shadow of change? What if he hath reserved them for vengeance? Can I, by my prayers, snatch them out of the fire? If they are sick, peradventure I cannot cure them. If they are not yet sick, I cannot preserve them. O these churlish, inhuman, un-christian, uncharitable thoughts! God therefore sendeth them this affliction, that they may repent: and that they may rather prevent, than he exercise his revenge. Seeing therefore that I know not the hearts of any, I will pity all: and since by my prayers I cannot prevail for them to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness for ever; I will grieve, Iud: 13. that Man is become so wicked, Rom: 2 5. as to treasure up unto himself such wrath against the day of wrath. Feign would my God have conquered the stubbornness of stiffnecked Israel with the pleasant allurements of his heavenly blessings: yet they would not yield, they would not relent. Then he threatened them: yet they would not yield. Then he punished them: and yet they would not turn: which made him cry out by his Prophet. Amos. 4.10. I have sent among you the Pestilence after the manner of Egypt; yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the Lord. Surely the Lord is very angry with such as will not tremble at his judgements; which made him threaten so by Ezekiel, saying, If I send a Pestilence into that land, Eze: 14 19 and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast: Though Noah, Daniel, vers. 20 and joh were in it, as I live saith the Lord God they shall deliver neither son nor daughter: they shall deliver but their own souls by their righteousness. What comfort then can I receive or give, when I mourn for the comfortless? What hope have I to speed, when these worthies should be denied, if they were here to intercede for them by their earnest supplications? Sure I am that I am not so good as any of those three: Not as the worst. Not as Noah though he had been drunk. Gen: 9.21. Not as job, though Eliphaz taxed him with impatience, when as he justified himself, and seemed to tax even God himself with injustice, job: 16.15. saying, I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin, and defiled my horn in the dust. My face is fowl with weeping; vers: 16 and on mine eyelids is the shadow of death. vers: 17 Not for any injustice in my hands: also my prayer is pure. No, No: fare short come I of either, of any of them: poor I: a poor, weak sinful woman; even as sinful as the worst; as wicked as the worst. And (now I begin better to bethink myself by thinking worse of my self) what are those which I questioned whether I might pray for them, or not? Are they sinners? So am I. Are they grievous sinners? So am I Surely I do not know enough of myself, if I do not know myself the worst, the vilest, the chiefest of sinners. It is then but justice that I should pray for the worst, since I myself either am, or might have been worse than them. My prayers shall be general, for all; hoping that God may be pleased to have mercy on all. But if any among them be certainly reprobates though I know it not, yet, I will pray that they may be taken from the number of the faithful, that so they may neither seduce by their temptations, nor offend by their examples, nor dishonour my good God any longer by their crying, and multiplying abominations. Yet must I howsoever be charitable in my devotions; and pray for others, as well as for myself. But all this while (since my thoughts have been fixed upon those that are visited, and I am certainly resolved for whom I will pray) let me be sure that I direct my prayers aright, or else my devotion may be but blindness, and my religion, superstition. To him without doubt, and to him alone must I tender my petitions, from whom, yea from whom alone this sickness is sent upon this sinful land. And who is he which visiteth the earth, but only the great Creator of heaven, and earth? The very Philistines could acknowledge this, 1. Sam: 4.5. when the Ark of the covenant of the Lord came into the camp, and all Israël shouted with a great shout, so that the earth rang again. They then began to be afraid, for they said, God is come into the camp. vers: 7. And they said, Woe unto us, for there hath not been such a thing heretofore: vers: 8. Woe unto us; who shall deliver us out of the hands of their mighty Gods? These are the Gods that smote the Egyptians with all the plagues in the willdernesse. Thus even by the testimony of the uncircumcised my God is determined to be the sin-revenging God, who punisheth offenders with these plagues and Pestilences. But shall I only depend upon their testimonies who knew not God, for my assurance that this vengeance cometh from God? No: I will look a little farther, and find David the good Prophet acknowledging it in his Psalms, Ps: 78.50. and saying, He made a way to his anger; he spared not their soul from death; but gave their life over to the Pestilence. This the patiented job confessed, job. 5.17. saying, Behold happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty: For he maketh sore, vers: 18 and bindeth up; he woundeth, and his hands make whole. This the holy Prophet Hosea proclaimed, Hos: 6.1. and said, Come and let us return unto the Lord; for he hath torn, and he will heal us: he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. This was the song of devout Hannah: 1. Sam. 2.6. The Lord killeth, and maketh alive; he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up. Deut: 32.39. Yea and this God himself doth publish to the whole world, and saith, See now that I even I am he, and there is no God with me. I kill, and I make alive: I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of mine hand. It is clear then, it is most apparent that in this general sickness I must of necessity acknowledge the finger of God. There was once a time when he himself proclaimed, saying, Is: 65.1 I am sought of them that asked not for me: I am found of them that fought me not. I said, Behold me, vers: 2. behold me unto a nation that was not called by my name. I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people. And surely that time is now come again: for we sought him not, and yet we have found him in this day of our visitation, vers: 4. even in this dreadful sickness. He hath spread out his hands all the day long unto us a rebellious people; but we would not hearken unto him: justly therefore do we remain among the graves; and hence it is that our hands are held up unto him. But, alas so weak are our devotions; so feeble are we in our Petitions; so unconstant, so wavering are we in our faith, that our hands are heavier than our hearts. Ex: 17.12. We must be faint to have an Aaron, and a Hur to stay them up, or else we are ready to let them down; & if they fall, the great Amalekites, (both our sins, & God's revenge) will prevail against us. He cryeth out unto us, Behold me, Behold me; & (woe is unto us,) we do behold him in his severe, and consuming wrath: But o that we might behold him in the clear and most lovely glory of his mercy! O that he might now be sought of us, though formerly we have not asked for him! He once did promise that a time should be when the children of Israel should come, Ier: 50.4. they and the children of Indah together, going, and weeping: they should go and seek the Lord their God. Surely that time is now come to us his Israël: for now we go, and weep as we go (as did David for Absalon); 2. Sam: 18.33. Gen: 43.30. Ps: 126.6. We weep as wed go up to our chambers. With joseph, we seek where to weep; and we enter into our chambers, and weep there. With the Church in the Psalms, we go forth and weep. With the Israelites, we weep before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. Num: 25.6. 2. Sam. 15.30. With David, and the people that were with him, we weep as we go up to the city. Yea with Ishmaël, we weep all along as we go. And as we weep, so I hope we shall seek too; Ier: 41.6. even seek the Lord, and his strength; yea seek his face evermore. This is the way for pardon; Ps: 105.4. and this is the means for health: for so God promised King Solomon, saying: If I shut up heaven that there be no rain: 2. Chr: 7.13. or if I command the Locusts to devours the land: or if I send a Pestilence among my people: If my people which are called by my name shall humble themselves, vers: 14 and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. Lord, this Pestilence thou hast sent among us; among us Christians that are called by thy name. Ios: 24.15. Let others do what they will: as for me, and my house, we will serve thee, o my Lord. Do thou make me to turn from my wicked ways, that thou mayst hear from heaven, and forgive my sins, and heal this land: for I will seek thy face; I will bumble myself; I will pray unto thee, and say. The Prayer. OMnipotent Lord, thou sinne-revenging God, who for disobedience didst threaten thine own people of Israel to smite them in the knees, Deut: 28.35. and in the legs with a sore botch that could not be healed, from the sole of the foot unto the top of the head: vers: 27 to smite them with the botch of Egypt, whereof they could not be healed: Thou who by the mouth of thine only son didst foretell too the jews that nation should rise against nation, Mat: 24 7. Kingdom against Kingdom, and that there should be famines, and Pestilences in divers places: be pleased, o thou great; offended Lord, in the bowels of thy compassion to let thine anger cease, Ps: 85.4 and to bow down thine ear to thy sorrowful handmaid. O my God thou seest how I groan under the burden of thy wrathful indignation, bemoaning the general sufferances for our more general sins. Our sins, our sins do fare exceed the transgressions of Israel: yea they are greater than those of the jews against the true Messiah; for thine own Apostle beareth them witness, 1. Cor: 2.8. that Had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory: but we alas, both have known, and do know him; and yet we crucify to ourselves the son of thee our God afresh; Heb: 6.6. and daily put him to an open shame. For these our offences thou hast begun thy revenge, yea and most justly too; for thou art clear, though man should judge thee. Under this thy heavy wrath we groan o Lord, we cry, we howl; for sickness increaseth, death approacheth: yea such a sickness, and such a death, as maketh us fear both ourselves, and our neighbours; because we have not feared thee the Lord of hosts. Thou seest, o Lord, our afflictions; even that our houses are made our prisons, and our sores our companions. Our streets are turned into pastures, our towns into wildernesses; and, for our backwardness in our devotions, our very doors instruct us to address ourselves unto thee, and to beseech thee Lord to have mercy upon us. Our days are consumed in sorrows, and languishing; and our nights in weeping, and mourning. Thou woundest us, and we cry; thou smitest us, and we roar; thou plaguest us, and we are troubled, we are dismayed. Our Golgothaes' are surfeited with the dead, and our habitations infected with the living. We fly from place to place from country to country; & yet we fly not from thy presence, we avoid not thy judgements. What shall we do, What shall we do? Is there no balm, Ier: 8.22. o Lord, in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of thy people recovered? Thy son, thy merciful son, thy sweet son jesus was sent to bind up the broken hearted, Is: 61.1 vers: 2. and to open the prisons to them that were bound, and to comfort them that mourn: and he was not backward in the performance of this for which he was sent; Mat: 4.23. c. 15.30. for he healed all manner of sickness, and all manner of diseases among the people. At thy feet therefore, o jesus thou best physician, we cast ourselves down. A multitude we are that lie at thy fear: Cure us, o Christ; heal us, o jesus, as thou didst the multitude. Lu: 6.19. Mat: 14 14. A whole multitude once did seek to touch thee; for there went virtue out of thee; and thou healedst them all. Thou wert moved with compassion, and didst heal their sick. Many didst thou cure of their infirmities, and plagues. Luc: 7.21. Is: 59.1 Behold thy hand is not shortened that it cannot save; neither is thine ear heavy that thou canst not hear. The number of petitioners cannot deter thee; Mat. 3.10. the multitude of suitors cannot molest thee; for thou hast healed many: therefore, with the multitude in the gospel. we press upon thee, that we may but touch thee; for thou hast virtue in thee; thou hast power to heal. O Lord hear, o Lord forgive, o Lord heal us of our grievous wounds. In the depth of thy fury when thou didst resolve to be revenged of a rebellious people, it was yet thy promise that thou wouldst leave a few from the sword, Eze: 12 16. and from the famine, and from the Pestilence, that they might declare all their abominations among the people where they should come; that they might know that thou art the Lord. Us thou hast plagued, us thou hast punished, so sorely, so grievously, that but few of us are left: yet o Lord, now at last look in mercy upon us: o Lord let this remnant findthy compassion. O cure us, O heal us, o help us for thy mercy's sake. When thou wert angry with Egypt, Is: 19.22. thou didst threaten to smite it: but, even at that very instant, thou didst likewise promise to heal it; and that they should return unto thee their Lord, and that thou wouldst be entreated of them. Ier: 33.6. Thou didst proclaine unto judah that thou wouldst bring it health, and cure; and wouldst cure them, and reveal unto them abundance of peace, and truth. Thou didst promise unto Zion that thou wouldst restore health unto her, c: 30.17 and heal her of her wounds, because she was called an outcast by the people, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after. These were thy promises even in the midst of thy threaten: and wilt thou be worse unto us than thou wert unto Egypt, or judah, or Zion? True it is that thou expectest our conversion; joel. 2.12. thou commandest us to turn unto thee with all our hearts, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning. To thee therefore, o God (though formerly we have not, yet now) do we turn. We turn unto thee both our weeping eyes, and our dejected countenances, and our wring hands, and our bended knees, and our mournful voices, and our groaning hearts. Merciful God behold our tears, and view our countenances, and look upon our hands, and strengthen our knees, and hearken to our voyees, and comfort our hearts. The Priests, o Lord, vers: 17 even thine own Ministers do weep between the porch and the altar, and they say, Spare thy people, o Lord, and give not thine heritage to reproach. Ezra: 10.1. Our Ezras pray, and confess and weep, and cast themselves down before thine house; and the people assemble themselves unto them both our men, and our women, and our children; for we all weep very sore. Num: 2.56. We weep, as the Israëlites did before the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, when twenty and four thousand of them died of the Pestilence. Thus we mourn; thus we weep: our eyes, our hearts, our very souls do weep: o let us taste of thy love; let us feel thy compassion. Make us to boast of thy praise, as thy servant David did; Ps: 30.2 when he cried unto thee, and thou didst heal him. Thou hast been wrath with us, as thou wert with the jews for their covetousness; Is: 57.17. and thou hast smitten us: thou hast bid thyself, and hast been angry; yet we have gone on frowardly in the ways of our hearts. But, o our God, do thou make us as penitent as those Iewes; and then say unto us as thou didst unto thy judah, vers. 18 I have seen thy ways, and I will heal thee: I will lead thee also, and restore comforts unto thee and to thy mourners. Alas, we mourn, and yet we are punished: we grieve, and yet we are plagued; and all because our iniquities do testify against us: jer. 14.7. but for thy name's sake, o Lord, be pleased to spare us. vers. 8. O the hope of Israel, the Saviour thereof in the time of trouble, why shouldest thou be as a stranger in the land; and as a way-faring man that turneth aside to tarry but a night? vers. 9 Why shouldest thou be as a man astonished; as a mighty man that cannot save? Thou, o Lord, art still in the midst of us, and we are called by thy name; therefore, we pray thee, 1. King 8.37. vers: 38 leave us not. O here is a Pestilence in our land; and we make our prayers and supplications, vers: 39 and streetch forth our hands to ward thine house. Hear therefore in heaven thy dwelling place, vers: 40 and forgive; that we may fear thee, and walk in thy ways all the days of our lives. Or if the sins of us thy people cause thee to stop thine ears at our prayers, 2. Chr: 30.18. O hear thou our Hezekiahs praying for us who have not cleansed ourselves. Stay the plague from us thine Israel, as thou didst from thy people, Ps: 106 30. Num. 16.46. when thy servant Phinehas executed judgement. 'Cause our Aaron's to take their Censers, and to put fire in them from off the altar, and to put on incense: O let them come quickly to our congregations, and make an atonement for us. vers. 48 Let them stand between the dead and the living, and let the plague be stayed. 2. Sam. 24.16. Thine Angel stretcheth forth his hand upon our jerusalem to destroy it: O do thou as in the time of King David: Repent thee of the evil and say unto the destroying Angel, It is enough; stay now thine hand. Hear me, o Lord, for the distressed people; and hear them for me; and hear thy Christ for us all: that to him, and thee, and thy blessed Spirit we may render (as is most due) all praise, and glory, and , and obedience from this time forth for evermore, Amen. THE FOURTEENTH SUBjECT. Tears of her whose house is shut up for the Pestilence. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHat? Shut up? Why so? Must mine house be a prison; and myself both the jailer, and the prisoner too? This is a punishment added unto God's, to be thus shut up from the society of men. Is this a visitation, thus to forbid our visitants? Was I wont to be such a gadder abroad, that I must now be kept at home under lock and key? Lord how suddenly am I transported with passion even beyond the bounds of reason, and religion! O here is the messenger of death come into mine house; and now I must be thankful to authority for commanding me to retire myself to my private, and pensive accounts, who knoweth yet but that both myself, and my family may live, for all our enclosing? It may so please my God, that by my being secluded from the multitude, I may shun the infection of the multitude; and so what I conceived an injury, may end in a blessing. I may perhaps say, and say truly, when I am awaked fully out of my passion, Gen: 28.16. as jacob did when he awoke out of his sleep: Surely the Lord is in this place, and I knew it not. My God is come indeed, Lu: 7.6 although I am not worthy that he should enter under my roof. O he is come, but he is come in wrath, and showeth me the tokens of his anger: but I will submit to his pleasure, and say unto him in the language of the blessed Virgin: Lu: 1.38. Behold the handmaid of the Lord: be it unto me according to thy will. Who knoweth but that instead of killing, he may come to raise me a Lazarus, Io: 11.43.44. if occasion serveth, as once he did for Martha and Marie? Peradventure he may come in judgement to others, and yet to me in mercy. Howsoever I will hope that I am one of those who are spoken unto from the Lord by the mouth of his Prophet: Come my people; Is: 26.20. enter thou into thy chambers, & shut thy doors about thee: hid thyself as it were for a little moment, until the indignation be over past. Since than my Lord is come to be my guest, my house shall be empty, swept, and garnished, that no thing may offend him, nothing may displease him: and thus will I empty it, thus will I sweep it, thus will I garnish it. Farewell vain world; thou that hast deluded me with thy follies, and cozened me with thy false, and braided wares. Come not near me; my doors are shut, and none such as thou shall enter here. Farewell false friends, who only gaze upon the rising Sun. Ye who were my companions in folly, and enticers to fond and idle sports, farewell farewell: no more shall ye enter with your bewitching charms. Sports, pass-times, games, merry meetings, gossiping; far ye all well; come no more to my doors: for if ye do come, ye shall knock, and knock, and knock again, & all in vain; for even to this purpose also are they now made fast. And now mine Eyes, the lustre of my countenance, ye windows of folly, take ye your leave of your vain objects; for I have a task to set you, that ye never yet were acquainted with. First I will prefer you to attend upon my heart; and whatever sighs & sobs my poor heart shall send forth, it shall be your duty to entertain them by the way, and enforce them to accept of the company of your tears. Ye shall weep till ye are weary, and then shall ye read: & when indeed ye are weary of poring upon divine pages, for your re-creation ye shall weep again, that by that means ye may be fitted to read again. Next If at any time I give you leave to consult with the sister of mortality (as some times I fhall be necessitated to afford you a time of intermission by the persuasions of nature) be sure that ye stay not too long from your employments; for my haste is great, my business is of consequence: we have only a little work to do for the King of eternity, and then we shall be at ease. And ye, mine Ears, that have so often harkened to the Siren songs of the vain world, now bid ye adieu to your musical harmonies, and ravishing concord's; for I must lock ye up for a season: and hereafter ye shall hear a melody beyond the tuning of the spheres; for the Choir of heaven shall ravish you with their Halelujahs. These Hands that so proudly hid themselves under the skin of the kid, and blushed when they were beheld by any less than an idolater, shall now entwine each other in a mutual concord; and then revenging the quarrel of their sins upon my treacherous heart, they shall smite it, and thump it, and beat it until they have mollified it; until they have beaten that stone into flesh, and that flesh into water, and forced that water into tears for the sins of my whole self. Next my Tongue, mine un-toward, unruely, wanton tongue; my false, pickthank, tell-tale tongue, that couldst never find the way to tell the truth, or not willingly, or not with delight; thou, for thy idle, thy profane, thy wicked speeches, shalt send out nothing but cries, and yells, and hideous dinus, and horrid screeches for thine offences: and if at any time I fhall, by thine obsequious service, be contented to trust thee with an articulate prayer, be sure that thou first take direction from my heart; Chanter in french signifieth to sing. Ps: 141 3. and then chant it out so loud (but forget not discretion) that it may be heard up as high as the throne of my God. Be sure thou dost it, for I will have a watch over my mouth, and at the doors of my lips, that I may be certain thou offend nor. As for the rest of myself (since I cannot stay now to give every part a charge in particular,) I shall command them only to attend the pleasure of my royal guest. Only my thoughts I must commit to the tuition of my heart, although it formerly hath been false unto me: and desirous I am that they may be pressed, pressed down with great and heavy burdens. But I charge thee, o my Heart, if ever thou hopest to be mine own dear Heart, that thou suffer not an imagination, not a thought to come near thee, but what shall be commended unto thee by religion, and what thou shalt dispatch to thy Maker. And now I am prepared for thee: Welcome o my God. If my rooms are not clean enough for thee I must entreat from thee both direction, and assistance to cleanse then. If any dust of wickedness hath flown about in the sweeping of them, I will now give my mind to wash my chambers with the tears of mine eyes; and that, I know, thou delightest in. O thrice welcome blessed God. Welcome, o welcome my dearest Redeemer. O how truly did the Kingly preacher affirm that, Eccl: 7.2. It is better to go to the house of mourning, then to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all, and the living will lay it to heart! My house is shut up indeed; it is shut up for the infection; for fear of the infection; for fear lest others should infect my family; or for fear lest my family should be insectious to others. But what of all that? I am not the first that ever was shut up: I am not the only one that ever was shut up. Lev: 13 4. vers: 5. The Leper in the law was to be shut up seven days: and at the seven day's end when the Priest looked on him, if the plague in his sight were at a stay, and spreaded not in the skin, he was to shut him up yet seven days more. This shutting up was rather for his cure, then intended for his hurt. Gen: 7.16. Noah was said to be shut up in the Ark; but it was for his preservation: and so may I be likewise. jeremiah was shut up too; jer. 32.2. yea in a prison, although his jail was the house of the King: and yet, even at that time, he was visited by the best; by one better than the King; even by God himself: for he often spoke to him in the time that he was shut up. c: 33.1. Thus am I shut up; even in a prison made of my dwelling: I hope that my God will speak comfortably unto me. I will hope that he hath shut me up as a jewel in a cabinet; in his care; in his tender compassion. If so, I am sure that no evil shall come in unto me, for he is holy, he is true, he is powerful who hath me in keeping. Reu 3.7. He hath the key of David: he openeth, and no man shutteth; and he shutteth, and no man openeth True it is that sometimes he shutteth out; as when he shutteth out from his ears the prayers of his people. Thus the faithful complain by the mouth of the Prophet: Lam: 3 8. When I cry, and shout, he shutteth out my prayers. Sometimes he shutteth up; and that in judgement too; as He shutteth up the eyes of idolaters, Is: 44.18. that they cannot see; and their hearts, that they cannot understand. And sometimes man shutteth too, even when he is forsaken of God: for so saith the wise King; A violent man shutteth his eyes, to devise froward things. Prov: 16.30. And again, God is said sometimes in judgement to shut up, even heaven itself; as in a time of drought. Therefore Moses adviseth the Israëlites, saying, Deut: 11.16. Take heed to yourselves that your heart be not deceived, and ye turn aside and serve other Gods, and worship them: vers: 17 And then the Lord's wrath be kindled against you, and he shut up the heaven that there be no rain, and that the land yield not her fruit, and lest ye perish quickly from off the good land which the Lord giveth you. But sure I am that although he should shut me up in judgement; yet he, whose compassions fail not, Lam: 3.22. Hab: 3.2. vers. 5. in the midst of judgement will remember mercy. I know that in former times he hath been angry, and then before him went a Pestilence, and burning coals went forth at his feet. I know that once when the people of Israel had offended, than the sword was without, Eze: 7.15. and the Pestilence and the famine within: he that was in the field was threatened that he should die with the sword; and he that was in the city, famine and Pestilence should devour him. I know that Elijah Prophesied against Iehoram in writing, saying, 2. Chr: 21.12. Thus saith the Lord, Because thou hast not walked in the ways of jehoshaphat thy father, nor in the ways of Asa King of judah: vers: 14 Behold with a great plague will the Lord smite thy people, and thy children, and thy wives, and all thy goods: vers: 15 And thou shalt have great sickness by disease of thy bowels, until thy bowels fall out by reason of the sickness day by day. job: 11.10. And I know also that if he cut off, and shut up, or gather together, none can hinder him. But what then? What though he hath shut me up? Shall I therefore rage, and rave like one distracted? c. 30.29. vers. 30 What though I am a sister to Dragons, and a companion to Owls? What though my skin should be black upon me; and my bones be burnt up with heat? c. 3.3. Should I therefore cry, Let the day perish wherein I was borne; and the night in which it was said, There is a child conceived? O Noah: I will rather resolve with afflicted job: Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him. c. 13.15. Why should I offer to be dismayed? That God which dwelleth in the heavens hath taken up my house, and is come to sojourn with me upon earth: I will speak in the phrase of a King: But will God indeed dwell on the earth? 1. King 8.27. Behold the heaven, and heaven of heavens cannot contain thee: how much less this house of mine which thou now dost visit! O what a happiness it is to have God for our visitant! Though he cometh in wrath, yet is he welcome. O let me have my God any way, rather than not have him at all! If he should not sometimes be angry with me, I should suspect that he loved me not: but if for ever he should be angry with me, I should feel that he loved me not. He is never angry with me, but when I am not angry with myself. I will soon therefore appease his anger by revenging myself upon myself, for the sins which I have committed against his glorious name. And if I cannot be revenged enough, I will cry for anger; even for anger that I cannot punish myself enough for displeasing him who thus honoureth my roof. When the Israelites were to eat the Paschall lanb, Ex: 12.7. they were commanded to take of the blood thereof, and to strike it on the two side-posts, and on the upper doore-post of the houses wherein they did eat it: vers: 13 And the blood (saith the Lord) shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you when I smite the land of Egypt. O here is comfort now in the midst of affliction: here is joy in the depth of sorrow. See, there there is that token: there is the blood on the door, or at least, the representation of it; for the red Cross is there. It is to me for a token, or a memorial of the blood of that innocent Lamb without spot, that was slain, that was crucified on the Cross for the sins of the elect. Now Lord do what thou pleasest; spare, or strike; it shall be all one to me, so long as thou givest me a firm assurance that he hath suffered for me. I value not my flesh: I care not for this lump of walking dust: let it be blown away; let this muddewall be thrown down: it is no matter; I am content, so long as I am sure that the anger of my God will be appeased by the blood of my Redeemer; and that so soon as my soul shall be freed from the prison of my flesh, I shall for ever sit on the right hand of my jesus. Sure I am, that although my house be shut up because of the infection, yet my Christ will cleanse my soul with his blood. Therefore World farewell: shut up whom thou pleasest. Thy company is not so good, nor thy courtesy so great as to command my joy. Although my house here be shut up, yet he which is faithful hath promised that the gates of that new jerusalem, Reu: 21 25. which is above, shall not be shut at all by day: and that there shall be no night there. O let me beg of my Lord, my Landlord; yea my guest, my friend, my brother, my father that (seeing I am a woman, a fearful woman, wonderfully afraid especially of a serpent, c: 20.2. or a dragon) he will be pleased to lay hold on the dragon, that old serpent which is the devil, and Satan; vers: 3. and bind him, and cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal upon him, that he may deceive me no more. O how contentedly then shall I mourn! How joyfully shall I grieve for all the offences that ever I committed! Well; now my God is pleased to speak to my conscience, away will I go in private, all alone, and cry in a corner. I will weep by myself: away I will go; and separate myself from my family, yea even from him who is my head, and my Lord; that I may the more freely weep. This I will do, and this I may do; for when jerusalem had her great mourning, not only every family mourned apart, Zech: 12.12. but even their wives also mourned apart. So will I: I will mourn apart too. But because I must not offer to offer unto my God such a present as a little poor bottle of tears, Ps: 56.8 and say nothing to him when I render it; humbly therefore upon my knees will I fall, and thus will I say unto him. The Prayer. GLorious, and everliving Lord God, Ps: 75.5 who dost suffer the wicked to live in prosperity; to be in no trouble like other men, nor to be plagued like other men: but hast told us that whomsoever thou lovest thou dost chasten, Heb: 12 6. and scourgest every child whom thou receavest: vouchsafe I beseech thee, to sanctify this affliction which thou hast laid at this time upon me and mine. 1. King 17.18. Thou art come, o my God, to call my sins to remembrance: o let me not frustrate thine intent, not repel the motions of thy blessed Spirit. Myself, and my family are now shut up from the lewd temptations of the seducing world: Lord make me at this time to look into myself, into mine own wicked and sinful heart, which hath been so long shu● up even from mine own self, from mine understanding and my knowledge. This, o Lord, is thy time to speak: let it, I beseech thee, be my time to hear. My house is become a house of thy correction; and myself & family are the offenders whom thou art pleased to chastise. Ier: 10.24. Ps: 88.7 Lord correct us, but with judgement, not in thine anger, lest thou bring us to nothing. Thy wrath at this time lieth hard upon us; and thou afflictest us with all thy waves. Thou hast put our acquaintance fare from us: vers: 8. thou hast made us to be an abomination unto them: we are shut up, and cannot come forth. Ps: 38.11. Our lovers, and our friends stand aloof from us; and our neighbours stand afar off. Ps: 88.9 By reason of this affliction mine eye mourneth: Lord I call daily upon thee, Ps: 69.15. Ps: 73.14. Ps: 69.3 and stretch out mine hands unto thee. O let not the water-flood overflow us; neither let the deep swallow us up; and let not the pit shut her mouth upon us. All the day long are we plagued, and chastened every day. I am weary of crying; Ps: 69.3 my throat is dry: my sight even faileth for waiting so long upon thee my God. Ps. 78.39. Ps: 91.3 O consider thy distressed servants, that we are but flesh: & that we are even a wind that passeth away, and cometh not again. Deliver us, o Lord from the snare of the fowler, from the noisome Pestilence Either send unto us, or else be thou thyself unto us a staff as well as a rod; Ps: 23.4 Ps: 91.5 a supporter as well as a corrector, that so we may not be afraid for the terror by night, vers: 6. nor for the arrow that flieth by day; nor for the Pestilenee that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at moone-day. Prepare us, o Lord, for those heavenly mansions, where thy Son sitteth at thy right hand making intercession for us. Hear him pleading for our remission, and inter-ceding for our pardon. Out of his wounds have issued that precious balsamome, which is able to cure the sins of the whole world. In him be pleased to be reconciled unto us: & since our times are in thine hands, Ps: 31.15. Lord either spare us for thine honour, or else receive us to thy mercy. Let the health of our bodies make us mindful to labour for the health of our souls: and let the sickness of our bodies put us in mind of the diseases of our souls. Good God, either preserve us from sickness, or protect us in sickness. Be thou our God, and make us thy servants; and then come either with health, or with sickness; thy will be done. Ps: 91.7 Thou canst cause a thousand to fall at our side, and ten thousand at our right hand, and yet preserve us. Thou canst, if thou pleasest, vers. 10 so protect us, that no evil may befall us; nor any plague come nigh our dwelling. O grant therefore that we may make thee our refuge; vers. 9 Ps. 38.6 yea thee who art the most high, our habitation. We are troubled, o Lord; we are bowed down greatly; we go mourning all the day long. Ps. 102 9 vers. 10 We eat ashes as it were bread, and mingle our drink with weeping, because of thine indignation, and thy wrath: for thou hast lifted us up, and cast us down. But o thou who art my only rock, Ps. 42.9 why hast thou forgotten us? O why go we thus mourning by reason of this affliction? Ps. 43.2 Thou art the God of our strength, Why dost thou cast us off? O give me leave (with Queen Esther) to speak yet again before thee the King of Kings, Est. 8.3 and to fall down at thy feet (as she did at the feet of King Ahasuerus) and to besiech thee with tears to withdraw thy visitation. job. 14 22. O Lord our very souls within us do mourn; for thou dost cause our Sun to go down at noon; and dost darken our earth in the clear day. Amos. 8.9. vers: 10 Thou hast turned our fasts into mourning; and all our songs into lamentation: thou hast brought sackcloth upon our loins; Lam. 5.15. vers: 16 and made our mourning as the mourning of an only son. The joy of our hearts is ceased; and the crown is fallen from our head: Woe unto us that we have sinned. But o thou who wert anointed to preach good tidings unto the meek: Is: 61.1 who wert sent to bind up the ; vers. 2. to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound: to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord; yea and the day of vengeance of our God: to comfort all that mourn: vers. 3. to appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes; the oil of joy for mourning; the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness: Thou who settest up on high those that be low, job. 5.11. Ps. 102 17. that those which mourn may be exalted to safety: Regard thou (I most humbly, and earnestly besiech thee) the prayers of us the poor destitute, & despise not our desires. Thou hast seen our ways; Is. 57.18. O do thou heal us: lead us also, and restore comforts unto us, that we may be called Trees of righteousness, the planting of thee our Lord, that thou mayst be glorified. Wound us not, jer. 30.14. O father, with the wound of an enemy, with the chastisement of a cruel one, for the multitude of our iniquities. vers. 15 Let not our sorrow be incurable, because our sins be increased. Though for a small moment thou hast seemed to forsake us; Is. 54.7 yet with thy great mercies gather us again. vers. 8. In aditle wrath thou dost hid thy face from us, for a moment; but with everlasting kindness have mercy upon us, o Lord our Redeemer. O thou who art our Redeemer, vers. 5. Ps: 34.15. Is: 37.17. the Holy one of Israel, the God of the whole earth, Let thine ears be open unto our cries: open thine eyes, and see our afflictions, how we are shut up from the comforts of the godly, and from the society of our endeared friends. Ps: 13.3 Consider, and hear me, o Lord my God: lighten our eyes lest we sleep the sleep of death. Ps: 123.2. Behold as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress: so our eyes wait upon thee, o Lord our God, until thou have mercy upon us. O do thou grant unto us remisston of our sins; patience in our miseries; comfort in our distress; physic for our health, and recovery: and in thy blessed time, bring our souls out of prison, Ps: 142.7. that we may give thanks unto thy name: which thing if thou wilt grant unto us, then shall the righteous resort again unto our company. Ps: 79.13. So shall we that be thy people, and sheep of thy pasture give thee thanks for ever: and show forth thy praise from generation to generation, world without end. Amen. subject 15 THE FIFTEENTH SUBJECT. Tears of her who is visited with the Pestilence, being. 1 Either wounded with a Sore. 2 Or marked with the Tokens. soliloquy 1 1. Tears of the visited, being wounded with a Sore. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. OH it is come, it is come. Ps. 55.4 My heart is sore pained within me; and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. See, See; What swelling's this? What risings this? Oh, it is the messenger of death, and biddeth me to inquire into my sinful life. I am struck, oh I am struck to the heart. This is the impression of anger, and the blot of him who in his wrath may justly blot me out of his wont compassion. Yet let me not despair: let me not be too much dismayed. While there is life, there is hope. The woman in the law who had gone aside to another man instead of her husband (whereof her husband was jealous, Num. 5.20. and brought her to her purgation) was to be charged by the Priest with an oath of cursing: vers: 21 vers: 22 upon whose drinking of water, her belly did swell, and her thigh did rot. Surely I have drunk none of that water: or if I have, it cannot hurt me; for by that very law, vers. 28 the innocent escaped free from the punishment. I have never disbonoured my nuptial bed; nor defiled myself with any other man, that this swelling should light upon me. Yet (now I better consider of it) let me not deceive myself. There is as well a spiritual, as a carnal adultery. Even a virgin may be styled an adulteress. Have I never turned from my God? Hath my soul never forsaken her dearest husband my blessed Redeemer, to commit a spiritual whoredom? O guilty, guilty: woe is me, I cannot choose but plead guilty, to this my indictment. My conscience telleth me that I have followed the temptations of the enemies of Christ I cannot tell how often: and justly therefore (I must confess) may this swelling be my punishment; for greater than this, hath been my due desert. Peradventure to correct my pride, this thorn in my flesh may be a messenger of Satan, sent to buffet me, 2 Cor. 12.7. as once Saint Paul had one sent unto him: for who of all our sex is not guilty of this folly? Among us are the tender and the delicate women (such as were among the Israelites) who will not adventure to set the sole of the foot upon the ground, Deut. 28.56. for delicateness, and tenderness: and (not to flatter, or deceive myself) I may peradventure be one of them. Or if I have not had power to put in practice what I desired, yet it may be that my desire hath been to be as delicate as the chiefest, and finest of our sex. Satan is said to have gone forth from the presence of the Lord, job 2.7. and to have smote job with sore boils, from the sole of the foot to the crown of his head. O that I were but half so righteous as was holy job, of whom God himself beareth witness that There was none like him in the earth; c. 1.8. a perfect, and an upright man; one that feared God, and eschewed evil! But alas I am no such person; for I have, by my wickedness, as it were taught the serpent to go forth from the presence of the Lord, and to smite me with this sickness, this rising, this swelling, worse than those boyles which infested job. David had a sore too, 1 Sam. 13.14. a running sore (allithough he was a man after God's own heart): Psa. 77.2. for so he complained, saying, My sore ran in the night, and ceased not; my soul refused comfort. But his Sore was not like unto mine: for his was in the fierce combat which he had with distrust; and it may as well be meant that his hand by night reached out in prayer, and ceased not: or by that sore may be meant the running of his eyes, which dropped in the night for his grievous crimes, and ceased not; as well as an imposthume, or ulceration. But mine is not such: it is a sore indeed, a carbuncle, a pestilential sore; although as yet it is not come to such maturity as to do as David spoke of his. It is yet but a swelling, a hard swelling, a rising: and for its swelling, and for its hardness it may either be my very heart removed from the seat appointed it by nature: or else it may be sent to put me in mind of the proud swelling, and the malicious hardness of mine impenitent heart. Alas, if I do but seriously consider of that little morsel of proud flesh, or rather stone, hard stone then flesh, that Adamantine heart, what have I not deserved for that wicked heart, which others were ever punished with? Worse, fare worse do I deserve then ever did judah: I only want a Prophet to lament mine estate as Isaiah did hers, for the judgements of God inflicted upon her for her rebellion, Is. 1.5. and to cry, The whole head is sick, and the whole heart is faint: from the sole of the foot even to the head there is no soundness in it; vers. 6. but wounds, and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. But what shall I do in this distress? May not these poisoned humours that have conspired together in this present tumour; as well be some other disease, as the infectious Pestilence? Lord, how feign would sinners live in ignorance, and never either understand the offences which they have committed, or know the manner and the kind of their punishments! How feign would the sick delude themselves with a conceit of health; and, hoping for life, cousin their knowledge with the falsehood of opinion! I cannot deny but it is the sickness which I am stricken with; the infectious sickness, the dreadful Pestilence: and I can have no hope of life if once it seizeth on my trembling heart. To prevent that danger therefore, since my heart hath hitherto been, so stony, so hard to entertain the motions of the blessed Spirit, I will request it now to continue its obduracy, not against my great God, but against this sad, and deadly sickness. What it hath usually retained, almost to the utter undoeing and destruction of my soul, I will entreat it to continue now for the preservation of my body. Or if that will not do; if it resolve to yield in this time of distress, fare rather then I will seek to that, I will humbly besiech my offended Lord to take possession of my heart: and if he will vouchsafe to grant my petition, then come what can come, I am sure I shall have comfort, because I shall have the society of my God. But what if my heart be preserved from these malignant humours? Have I ●hen any assurance that my disease is not mortal? Alas Noah; but I must use the means, and besiech my God to give them his blessing. I must apply those things which will mollify this swelling: it must be softened, be broken, be drawn, before it can be healed. Thus, even thus must I deal with my heart too. The malicious humours of sin and corruption have already assembled there, and caused it to swell. I will hasten therefore to job 's Physician, job. 23.16. who softened his heart; and troubled him: and I will besiech him for Christ's sake to mollify mine; for there are more than the seven abominations of a dissembler in it. Prov. 26.25. joël 2.13. Hos. 10.12. Psa. 69.20. jer. 4.4 I will pray him to rend it; to break it; to break up the fallow ground of it; for he better can break mine, than the misery of repreach could break the heart of the Prophet David. I will entreat him to take away the foreskin of it, and to wash it from wickedness, that so I may be saved, and that no vain thought may lodge in it. vers. 14. c. 17.10. I will request him to search it; that he will lay something to it; Is. 47.7 Ps: 147 3. even all the wickednesses that ever I have committed. Then, when he hath broken it, I know that he will heal it, and bind up the Wounds of it: for to this purpose he sent his son, his onely-begotten son, my Redeemer, my jesus; even to bind up the broken hearted. Is. 61.1. But when this great cure shall be wrought for me, what have I to render unto him by way of thankfulness? Alas nothing, even just nothing at all, unless he will accept of that broken, yet therein that whole and cured heart. That, then shall be his, and I know that he will accept of it; for so saith David, that man after his own heart; A broken, Act. 13.22. Ps. 51.17. and a contrite heart o God thou wilt not despise. from the malice of this heart doth proceed the malignity of this my disease; for sin is the cause of every sickness. But all this while I do but talk of this malady; I sieke not for a remedy. Alas to whom shall I go? To what physician, or Chirurgeon shall I repair? Leu. 13.2. I read that if any man of the house of Israël had in the skin of his flesh a rising, or a swelling, or a bright spot; and if it were in the skin of the flesh like the plague of Leprosy, than he was to be brought to Aaron the Priest, or unto one of his sons the Priests, vers. 3. and the Priest was to look on the plague in the skin of the flesh, and then to proceed according to order. Thus, under the Law, the Priests were the Physicians both for the body and the soul: where upon the Prophet jeremiah complained, and accounted it as a great judgement upon the people for their sins, that From the Prophet even to the Priest every one dealt falsely: jer. 6.13. vers. 14 they healed also the hurt of the people slightly. Hence also another Prophet reproved them, Eze. 34.4. because. The diseased they had not strengthened; neither had they healed that which was sick; neither had they bound up that which was broken. Under the Gospel also the Apostles were likewise Physicians for both: Mat. 10.1. for when Christ had called unto him his twelve Disciples, he not only gave them power against unclean Spirits, to cast them out; but also to heal all manner of sicknesses, and all manner of diseases. Doubtless by this I am likewise taught, into whatsoëver sickness I fall, Psa. 110.4. Mal. 4.2. Make use of the prayer which followeth the next Meditation. whatsoëver disease I am visited with; first of all to go to the Priest, to the Minister of God: first to examine my soul, before I look for the cure of my body. To the Priest will I therefore go; to the chief Priest, to the high Priest, to the chiefest and highest that ever was; even to him who is a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek: and humbly will I besiech him to teach me to fear his name: and then I know that he who is the Sun of righteousness will arise with healing in his wings; and will make me go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall. 2. Tears of the visited, being marked with the Tokens. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. THere is a time to kill (saith Solomon) and a time to heal. Eccl. 3.3. O that time to kill is now come upon me; but I know not how so much as to hope for the time of healing; for here I find the tokens of death, the marks of my mortality. This flesh, this sinful flesh of mine, which hath been so washed, so unguented, so smoothed and coloured, according to the choicest wit of art and industry, hath now the stains in it of a contagious sickness. Where are now those admirers of comeliness, & those idolatrous doaters upon the beauty of women? Let them come and learn the vanity of their opinions; & chide their simplicity by these tokens of vengeance. O what a frail thing is woman; easily deluded into a belief of her beauty, and as easily stricken with her own deformity! But what do these spots mean to die my flesh, and strike such a deep tinture in a smoothed sknne? Are diseases blind, that thus they fasten every where without either choice, or exception? Vain woman as I am, why do I spend these minutes, these few and winged minutes allotted unto me, in such impertinent quaeres? These bluish stains tell me that I must provide to answer for my sins (yea shortly, speedily) before him who dispatched them hither unto me. Death approacheth; mortality knocketh at my burdened heart. Lord, how heavy is my soul! Even as if it were already at the great tribunal, and pleaded guilty of millions of enormities. They have corrupted themselves (saith Moses by the Israëlites); Deut: 32.5. their spot is not the spot of God's children; they are a perverse, and crooked generation. Is there a spot than which even the children of God may be subject unto? Why then may not these be some of those spots and myself be one of those children of God? Lord, how willingly, how greedily doth every one strive to die the death of the righteous! How easily are we apt, through ignorance, to dwell in the letter of the text, when we should rather pry into a farther intent of the blessed Spirit! That spot of the children of God is not seated in the body, but in the soul; and that spot in the souls of the Israelites was chiefly Idolatry. True it is that even the righteous have their stainei too; vers. 15 16.17. but not such bloaches, not such great and fowl spots; or howsoever not of such a deep tincture, not died so in grain as are those of the wicked: for they are washed out with the tears of sorrow through the blood of the Lamb. O that my spots were only in my skin, and not in my soul; and that I could truly justify myself in the language of job. job. 31.6. vers. 7. Let me be weighed in an even balance that God may know mine integrity. If any blot hath cleaved to my hands. But alas I cannot, I dare not. Yet if I could but come to a sight of my sins, and be truly humbled for them, then am I sure that he who taught jacob how to increase his flock of the speckled and the spotted, Gen. 30.39. Is. 1.18 would easily make me white as wool. But how, or upon what grounds can I expect his mercy, seeing all that I can suffer is not punishment enough for all that I have trespassed? Heb. 9.22. Without shedding of blood is no remission, saith the blessed Apostle. What comfort then can I expect, or what mercy can I hope for, seeing that my blood, my life is not of value enough to suffer what my sins have merited; much less to purchase remission of my sins? What now shall I do? What hope can I have that my body should be freed from these spots of my disease, when I know not how to be freed from the pollutions of my soul? By the Mosaical law If any one of the common people sinned against any of the commandments of God concerning things which ought not to be done, Lev: 4.27. vers: 32 A Lamb without blemish was to be his offering, and so the atonement was made for the sin, vers: 35 and it was forgiven. Here yet was some ease for a distressed soul: the sin was forgiven through the blood of the Lamb. But what hope have I of remission? That Law doth no longer stand in force: nor will the blood of a common Lamb be accepted for the least, the smallest offence. Yet Cheer up, O my drooping soul: Let my fainting spirits, and my sorrowful heart take comfort in the midst of my deep distress: for there is a Lamb, Heb: 9.28. an innocent Lamb, a Lamb without blemish which once was offered to bear the sins of many. I am one of those many who have sinned, and why then should I not be one of those many too, whose sins he hath borne? Lord make me one of thy children through the merits of thy Son; and cleanse the pollutions of my Soul by the blood of that Lamb, even that Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world. Io: 1.29 But whilst I thus meditate upon the stains of my soul, my body biddeth mec to look upon these un-wonted blemishes. Lord, how bluish they appear! Surely if those doaters upon our sex should see these spots, they would forget their idolatry, and tremble at the judgement. When Mordecay was clothed in his blue and white, Est: 8.15. it is said that he went in royal apparel. The apparel of my skin me thinks, doth seem to resemble the covering of his body; for here is the ancient white which nature conferred, and here is the blew come now too, sent me from God. It is royal apparel, because it is sent me by the King of glory: and it is well come too, 2. Cor. 1.3. because that glorious King is the father likewise of mercies, and the God of all consolation. Prov: 20.30. The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil, saith the wise King Solomon. Surely he meant not such a wound, such a spot as is each of these; for although these are blue, yet certainly they cleanse not; or if they do cleanse, their cleansing concerneth nothing but my soul, they put me in mind of that duty, for my time is short, and suddenly shall my poor soul bid farewell to this corrupted, to this spotted body: but as for this body it cannot be cleansed, it may be ruined by these bluish wounds. Christ saith to his church, Thou art all fair my love; Cant: 4.7. there is no spot in thee: and Saint Paul telleth me how it cometh to pass that it is freed from spots; for Christ (saith he) gave himself for it, Eph. 5.25. that he might sanctify it, and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, vers. 26 that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, vers. 27 or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish. Of this church am I a member; a poor, weak, unworthy member; and yet I have my spots, my corruptions in my soul, which these in my body peep out to remember me of. But why did I not keep the commandments without spot, 1. Tim. 6.14. and unrebukeable? Why have I not kept myself un-spotted from the world? jam 1.27. O for this, for this very cause am I now thus visited, am I now thus stained: and no more am I able to take these prints out of my flesh, than the Ethiopian is able to change his skin, jer. 13.23. or the Leopard his spots. Yet I have comfort in my redeemer; 1. Pet. 1 18. in him who hath redeemed me (not with corruptible things, as silver, and gold) from my vain conversation; vers. 19 but with the precious blood of himself, as of a Lamb without blemish, and without spot. Though my body therefore decay, yet I have a confidence that my soul shall live: I have an assurance of that; for he who bringeth me to a sight of these spots, hath given me likewise a sight of my sins (his name be for ever magnified for it); and me thinks they appear a thousand thousand times more loathsome, more ugly in my soul, than these do in my body. They are ten million of times more certainly mortal in their own condition to my soul with out the mercy of my jesus, than these are to my body. Yet if it might be safe for me to expostulate with my God, I would say unto him in the language of the Prophet, jer. 15.18. Why is my pain thus perpetual, and my wound in curable, which refuseth to be healed? Wilt thou be altogether unto me as waters that fail? Hast thou utterly rejected me? c. 14.19. Hath thy soul loathed me? Why hast thou smitten me, and there is no healing for me? I look for peace, and there is no good; and for the time of healing, and behold trouble. But if I should thus expostulate in the phrase of the Prophet, yet must I howsoëver conclude with the Prophet, and say, vers. 20 I acknowledge, o Lord, my wickedness, and the iniquity of my fathers; for we have sinned against thee. Yet, me thinks, these spots will as hardly go out of my mind, as out of my body. The express word of God to the Israelites was, Ye shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: Leu. 1● 28. I am the Lord. And good reason there was for this prohibition; for they were very apt to be led by the heathens, among whom it was a custom at the death of their friends to lament and cut themselves: it was their manner also to make incisions in their flesh, & to fill up the wounds with Stibium, or ink. But I, alas, do find here such prints and marks in my flesh, as the very heathen themselves would have stood amazed at; yet these are notcarved by the violence of myself, but by the finger of my God. I must therefore content myself, and rejoice at the sight of them, Iam: 1.17. since they proceed from him who is the father of lights (although they presage darkness unto me) for every good gift, and every perfect gift is from above. This gift does not seem in itself to be either good or perfect but upon second, & more serious cogitations, if my true repentance ensue upon them, I shall find that they will hasten me to the best good, to the chiefest perfection; even to the Kingdom which is purchased for me by the blood of my Redeemer. job 16.12. Alas I cannot choose but cry out with job, and say, I was at ease, but he hath broken me asunder: he hath also taken me by my neck, and shaken me to pieces, and set me up for his mark. Or with jeremiah: Lam: 3.12. He hath bend his bow, and set me as a Mark for the arrow. Or with job again, through the extremity of my sorrow I am enforced to expostulate with my God, job 7.20. & say, Why hast thou set me as a mark against thee, so that I am a burden to myself? But I will silence myself in his words again, and say, I have sinned; What shall I do unto thee, o thou preserver of men? When it pleased the Almighty to preserve his children in the city of jerusalem, when the rest should be destroyed, he commanded a man that was clothed with linen, Eze: 9.2. vers: 4. and had a writer's inkhorn by his side, to go thorough the midst of the city, thorough the midst of jerusalem, and to set a mark upon the foreheads of the men that sighed, and that cried for all the abominations that were done in the midst thereof. A mark I have too; yea more than one, and one, and one, though not in my fore head; and they are set on as if they proceeded from the ink of the writer: but, woe is me, I have either not cried at all, or not enough either for mine own sins, or for the abominations of jerusalem: how then can I hope to escape the destruction? And yet he that spared them, if he please, can spare me likewise: for his hand is not shortened, Is: 59.1 that it cannot save; neither is his ear heavy, that he cannot hear, 2. King 20.1. When Hezekiah was commanded to set his house in order; and it was told him that he should die, and not live; vers: 2. he turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore: vers: 3. vers: 5. and presently Isaiah was sent unto him to tell him. Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seeno thy tears; behold I will heal thee: and I will add unto thy days fifteen years. vers: 6. He may be pleased to say unto me too, as he did unto Hezekiah; for I also weep; yea I weep very sore: and I also pray; yea I pray hearty, Ps: 22.19. and say, Be not thou fare from me, o Lord: o my strength hast thee to help me. But Hezekiah was more righteous than I am; 2. King 20.3. for he walked before the Lord in truth, and with a perfect heart, and did that which was good in his sight: Rom. 7 18. Num: 12.13. whereas in me dwelleth no good thing. But Miriam was a woman as I am, yea and sinful; and yet when she was Leprous, Moses cried unto the Lord for her, and said, Heale her now o God I besiech thee; and she was shut out from the camp but seven days, vers. 15 and was healed. O but she had a Moses to pray for her, whereas I, alas, have none; I have no such Moses to pray for me. But what, shall I therefore remain quite destitute of all hopes? Shall I despair of the goodness, and the tender mercies of the most high? No; I may not; I must not; for that would but increase my sin, & add to my torments. The woman in the Gospel who for twelve year's space had an issue of blood, Mar: 5.25. and had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was nothing bettered, vers: 26 vers: 27 but rather grew worse; she only came behind my jesus, vers: 29 and touched his garment; and strait way the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. vers: 33 With that fearing and trembling woman therefore will I in like manner fall down before him, and tell him all the truth. I will confess unto him all my sins; or, at least, so many as possibly I can call to my remembrance. Who knoweth but that he may say unto me as he did unto her, vers: 34 Daughter thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague. I am resolved to take no repulse. The whole multitude even the multitude of my sins shall not hinder me, (though they rebuke me) that I should hold my peace: but (with the blind man in the Gospel) I will cry so much the more, Lu: 18.39. jesus thou son of David have mercy on me. Or (if that prayer be too short) while he shall prolong my time I will compose and settle myself to a larger form, & earnestly fervently, zealously I will pray unto him, and say. The Prayer. O Eternal, and most merciful Lord God, whose eyes are ten thousand times brighter than the Sun, and yet thou vouchsafest to look with thine eye of providence even upon the meanest of the children of men: Lu: 1.48. Ps: 38.9 regard (I besiech thee) the low estate of thine afflicted handmaid. Thou knowest all my desires; and my groaning is not hid from thee. To thee the pollutions of my poor soul are more naked and open, than these spots in my flesh are obvious to my sight. The foulness of my corruptions have conspired with the infectious air to cause these stains in my skinn: and by them I am commanded to prepare for my dissolution. Lord if thou hast decreed by these means to free me from this world of pain and misery, be pleased to translate me from hence to the joy of thee my Lord and Master. Mat. 25 23. Give me (o my father) a sight of mine imperfections: make me loathe them, and tremble at them, more than I do at these messengers of death. Wean me from the love of sin by the consideration both of thy displeasure, & mine own mortality. These spots appear like so many eyes, which seem to stare me in the face, and would affright me with horror: and all because I had not always a consideration that thine eyes in every place do behold the evil, Prov. 15.3. and the good. Blessed God give me a sight of my corruptions, and a detestation of them; Ps. 51.9 and then turn thou thy face away from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Speak peace, and health unto my wounded soul, which every minuit expecteth thy coming. Lord thou art a God who canst not abide to behold unrighteousness: look not therefore with thy wrathful eye upon me who am all sin. and pollution; but upon thy Son, and his sufferings. Or if thou canst not choose but look upon me, first cloth me with the righteousness of that immaculate Lamb; so shalt thou see me with love and delight, & I shall behold thee with unspeakable joy. Prepare me, o my God, that I may be a fit guest to be called and invited to the supper of the Lamb. Reu: 19.9. Seal unto my soul the remission of mine offences; and then make me willingly to resign up my body to thine own disposing. Yet thou mayest speak the word (if so thou pleasest) and thy servant may be healed. Mat. 8.8. Luc. 17 15. There was a Leper in the Gospel who fell down at thy feet, o jesus, giving thee thunks, vers: 16 and with a loud voice glorifying thy name, because thou hadst healed him. It is as easy for thee to restore me in like manner, Hos: 5: 13. as thou didst that Leper. When Ephraim saw his sickness, and went to the Assyrian; & judah saw his wound, and sent to King jareb; there was found no healing, nor curing of the wounds: but those that come unto thee shall find that thou art both able & willing to heal all those that are broken in heart, Ps. 147 3. and to give medicine to heal their sickness; for unto Israël thou didst proclaim thyself The Lord that healeth. Ex: 15.26. Psl. 6.2. Have mercy therefore upon me o Lord, for I am weak: o Lord heal me, for my bones are vexed. Ps. 41.3 Ier: 17.14. Strengthen me now upon my bed of languishing: make thou all my bed in my sickness. Heale me, o Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved; for thou art my praise. c: 30.12. O let not my bruise be incurable, though my wound be grievous. Let me have one to plead my cause, vers: 13 even that Holy One, thine only begotten Son; that he may bind me up, and give me healing medicines. Thou art he who didst promise jacob to correct him in measure, vers: 11 though not to leave him altogether unpunished. Thou rebukest me for my sin, Ps: 39.11. and makest my beauty to consume away like as it were a moth fretting a garment. These Marks in my flesh do cause a trembling even in my spirit. Rev: 13.17. Ps: 86.16. Lord grant that upon my soul be not found the mark of the beast, but the mark of thy son, that he may own me for his. O turn thou unto me, and have mercy upon me: give thy strength unto thy servant, and save thy distressed handmaid. Show now some good token for good, vers: 17 that it may appear unto the world that thou Lord dost help me, and comfort me. But if in thy secret purpose thou hast decreed at this time to gather me unto my fathers; make me with joy & comfort to render mine account unto thee the Lord of heaven & earth. Look not upon the sins and offences of my misled life; but rather look upon my Redeemer's death, Is: 53.5 who was wounded for my transgressions; bruised for mine iniquities: the chastisement of my peace was laid upon him: by his stripes therefore let me be healed. In the midst of the street of thy throne, o God, Reu: 22.2. & of either side of the river of life there is a tree of life bearing twelve manner of fruits; and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. O my God let me but come to taste of those fruits: let me but be shaded under the leaves of that tree of life. Ps: 41.4. Ps: 103 1. Be merciful unto me: heal my soul, for I have sinned against thee. Then shall my soul bless thee O my Lord: and all that is within me shall praise thy holy name who forgivest all mine iniquities, vers: 3. and canst heal my diseases. Into thine hands I commend my spirit, Ps: 31.5 for thou hast redeemed me o Lord, thou God of truth. The Spirit and the bride say Come; Reu: 22.17. therefore let me who now hear it, say Come. Let me hear thy voice; o God, Gen: 3.8. in the cool of the day; not in the heat of thy displeasure. And thou, o my jesus, who for such sinners wert made a sacrifice on the altar of the cross; how down thine ear as thou didst upon the tree, and hear, and fulfil the desires of thy wounded supplicant. Come o jesus, and embrace me in thine arms: hid me in thy wounded side from the wrath of thy father. In thee alone do I trust: to thee alone do I flee: secure me, help me, save me, O Christ. The world I leave: to thee I come. At the door of thy mercy do I knock, I call, I cry. Lord protect me: jesus comfort me. Strengthen my faith; and confirm my hope. As my earthly body draweth nearer to the earth; so do thou draw my soul up nearer unto thee who art the father of spirits. Heb: 12 9 O God make speed to save me. O Lord make haste to help me. Finish soon these days of sin, and then let me enter into thy celestial paradise; and that for his sake in whom alone thou art well pleased, even jesus Christ my only Mediator, and Redeemer. Amen. subject 16 THE SIXTEENTH SUBjECT. Tears of a Mother for the sickness of her child. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. IT shall come to pass (saith Moses to the house of Israel) if thou wilt not hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, Deut: 28.15. to observe to do all his commandments, and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee: vers: 16 Cursed shalt thou be in the city, and cursed shalt thou be in the field: Cursed shall be thy basket, and thy store: vers. 17 yea Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body, etc. vers: 18 What, all these curses from heaven for the sins of poor distressed mortals? O what a multitude of evils do our sins deserve! What punishment doth not iniquity cry for? It cryeth for the curse of the city, the decay of trading; the curse of the field, whole rivers of blood in furious battles; the curse of the basket and the store, the dearth of provisions. Yet all these are but outward punishments, and reflect only upon the base, the worse part of ourselves, the body: but Cursed shall be the fruit of the body: oh this biteth like a Serpent, & stingeth like a Cockatrice. Prov: 23.32. The fruit of my body Is afflicted with sickness: but is the sin of the parent the cause of his affliction? Yes, yes: my conscience acknowledgeth the guilt; let my tongue be as ready to confess it, and my heart to repent of it. But how standeth this with the justice of the Creator? Gen: 18.25. Shall not the judge of all the earth do right? The Prophet Ezekiel telleth me from God that The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father; Eze: 18 20. Mich: 7 6. Ier: 9.20. neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son; but the soul that sinneth, it shall die. Else the daughter might rise up against her mother (as saith the Prophet) and the women (by reason of the vengeance due for their sins) might teach their daughters wailing, c: 31.29. Rom: 3 4. if the sour grapes which the parents have eaten should set their children's teeth on edge. But let God be true, and every man a liar, that he may be justified in his say, and may overcome when he is judged. He it is who hath threatened to visit the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate him. The sin is mine; Ex: 20.5. but the punishment is mine infant's: & again the sin is mine infant's; and the punishment is mine. And yet farther; The sin is of and from both; and the punishment is inflicted upon both, His sufferance is my sorrow; and his pains my distress. Lord what a due reward of sin is punishment! My child as yet (it may be) knoweth not sin; and yet is he punished he knoweth not for what. I know sin; & yet I stand not affrighted, not amazed at the punishment thereof. Mat. 5.44. I am commanded to love mine enemies; but doubtless sin is excepted for such an enemy I am bound to hate. Ps. 139 22. Ps: 97.10. O that I could hate it right sore, even as mine enemy! It is the Psalmist's charge, O ye that love the Lord, see that ye hate the thing that is evil. Can I thus do, it would bring peace to myself; and likewise might bring health to my babe. Oh I now feel the sting of my sin piercing his body; and the malignity of my corruption breaking out in his disease. Adam in innocency knew no pain: but by reason of his fall, diseases are become the fruit of the fruit. 2. King 5.27. vers: 23 Gehazy for sin was visited with the disease of Naaman the Syrian: and his two talents of silver, and two changes of raiment burdening his conscience more than the bodies of his servants, 2. Chr: 21.18. vers. 4. bought him the Leprosy. The fire that jehoram felt in his bowels made him sensible of the punishment for his want of compassion to his brethren whom he slew with the sword. Ex: 9.10. The hardness of Pharaoh's heart made the ashes to turn into boils, and blains in his body. 1. Cor: ●1. 30. The Corinthians not discerning the Lord's body, were therefore stricken with sickness, weakness, and death. He that was encompassed by the bulls of Basan, Ps: 22.12. Ps: 38.8 vers: 3. complained that he roared for the disquietness of his heart: but with all he saith, There is no health in my flesh because of thy displeasure; neither is there any rest in my bones by reason of my sin. Lord how thou dost use me and my child as Gideon did once the Elders of the city; Iud: 8.16. thou dost scourge me with briers and thorns of the wilderness! Gen: 3.18. The earth, for the sin of man, was cursed with the production of them; and we, for sin, are scourged with that curse. Yet the briers and the thorns scratch but the body of my languishing infant; but they even tear the soul of me his sad & sorrowful mother. Yet I fast with David, 2. Sam. 12.22. and I weep with David, and I cry with David, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? This little lump of sinful clay lieth at the mercy of him that is the potter. It is framed, it is shaped into a body; into a vessel: but diseases would crack it; sickness would break it. At the taking of a besieged town that would not yield, though the men were to be smitten with the edge of the sword, Deut: 20.14. yet the women and the little ones were appointed to be spared. Lord I am one of those women; my child is one of the little ones. Conquer thou, but spare: take us, but preserve us. Thy mercy to heathen, could not be greater than it can be to Christians. Lord what shall I do? The infant still cryeth; and still the parent weepeth. Sickness enforceth the cries of the child; and the cries of the child enforce the parents tears. O how my bowels yearn, and burn, and fry with in me; and yet no ease doth come to my sweetest babe; no comfort to my languishing child! I read that Christ did chide his disciples for rebuking those who brought the little ones unto him; and he said, Suffer little children, Mat: 19 13. vers. 14 and forbidden them not to come unto me; for of such is the Kingdom of heaven. To him, to him therefore will I go, and tender this youngling. But, alas, how can a begging present be acceptable unto him? With what confidence can I give him this child, when the offering is only a guiftlesse gift? Mine intent is not to lose, but to gain: to give, but not to leave my child: to offer him to God, but in hope that he will spare him a little while with me. And his indeed he is: he hath been his ever since he was offered unto him in the temple; Rom: 6 4. ever since he was buried with him by baptism. But perhaps he hath since that time been lost, and strayed from him: I will therefore take him in mine arms, and carry him home again, I will carry him by water, for now it is highflood; 'tis a springtide; mine eyes are full. We will swim together to my jesus; & of him I will beg I will cry for, I will prevail for his pardon. I know that my Saviour will hear; and he will be ready also to forgive. He will forgive my child that ran away from him; and he will forgive me my running with my child: and when he hath forgiven, he will certainly remit the eternal punishment; &, it may be, the temporal likewise. But how dare I, who am the greatest delinquent, to go with my child the lesser sinner? How dare I to show my face to him, or appear in his presence? His child (it is true) I am, as well as my babe: but I have also offended him as much as my babe: yea more; a thousand thousand thousand, million of millions of myriads of times more than he. This child as yet doth know no malice, no guile no hypocrisy, no envy no evil speaking: but I alas, not only know all, but also I harbour all, I foster all, I embosomed all; and yet my God saith unto me (by the mouth of his Apostle) as well as unto others, 1 Pet: 2 1. Laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypochrisies, and envies, and evill-speakings, vers. 2. As newborn babes desire ye the sincere milk of the word that ye may grow thereby. His child I am, but (woe is me) I have not this long while sucked of the breasts, the two testaments; or not eagerly; or not so understandingly as he commandeth me to do, when he saith, Be not children in understanding; 1. Cor. 14.20. howbeit in malice be ye children. O how infinitely worse am I then this my child! He is humble, but I am proud, and haughty, and highminded; Mat. 18 2. yea though I know that Christ called once a little child (peradventure just such a little child as mine is) and set it in the midst of his disciples, and said, verily I say unto you, vers. 3. Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of heaven: vers: 4. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the Kingdom of heaven. The least, me thinks, I feign would be; I would feign be greatest; the greatest in the Kingdom; yea the greatest in the Kingdom of heaven: but the first I like not so well; it suits not so well with wy disposition; I would not be humble. Though I am as little as was Zacheus, Lu: 19.4. yet I would be as high as was Zacheus too; yea though I climb up into a tree for it. Yea I do climb; and into a tree too: O it is the tree of mine own pride, and vanity; which beareth leaves, goodly, broad, shadowing leaves; but it beareth no fruit at all, nothing but keys; and those keys are fitted only for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction; Mat. 7.13: they will never un-lock the gates of heaven. This child is young; he is a babe; a babe in age; a babe in growth. I am a babe; not in age, not in growth; but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote, 1. Cor. 3.1. and said that he could not speak unto them as unto spiritual but as unto carnal even as unto babes in Christ. My child is young, and tender, and simple; apt to be led with trifles; to straggle abroad with children; to be carried any whither, at the pleasure of her to whose charge he is left. I am a child too; a verier child than mine own; apt to be tossed to and fro, Eph. 4.14. and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness whereby they lie in wait to deceive. And now what shall I do? I am the verier child of the two, the most sinful of the two; and yet my child is afflicted with sickness, and to me no other punishment is at present allotted but the grief which I have for the sickness of my child. He still cryeth; still must I therefore cry. He groaneth; and I must also groan. Yea I do groan; I groan in spirit, that my jesus may cure the diseases of my soul. I groan too for my child, my pretty sweet babe, that my jesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soul; and (if he so pleaseth) recover also the health of his body. This must be the way: to him I must thus go, Io. 14.6 Ps. 30.8 for he himself hath styled himself the way. I will therefore cry unto the Lord; and get me unto my Lord right humbly. I will go to the gate of the physician, the gate of mercy; and there I will knock, and call, and cry for entrance. I will fall upon my knees, and wring my hands, and smite my breast; Is. 38.14. and weep and mourn like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow, even until mine eyes fail with looking upward: and thus will I say unto him. The Prayer. Great God, whose power is , and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience: bow down thine ear to my sad entreaties. Thou hast stricken me with sorrow, who have not mourned for the cause: and by the sickness of mine infant thou hast taught me the frailty of our mortal bodies. I see that all flesh is as grass; 1. Pet. 1.24. and the glory thereof but as the flower of the field. Mine impenitent heart (I must confess) deserveth thy justice; and my sinful life this punishment of my tender infant. But thou, o Lord, art merciful, though I am sinful: and art apt to forgive those that truly repent. O my God I desire to be sorrowful for mine offences: and earnestly I besiech thee to give me true contrition for all my sins. job. 7.20. O thou preserver of men, remit both my sins, and the punishment which is justly due unto me for them; that I may rejoice in thy mercy, and magnify thee for thy goodness. Look graciously upon this child who feeleth the scourge (though gently) of thy justice due both for his, and for my transgressions. O let not thy wrathful displeasure continue upon him: nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments. Thy servant David confessed his sins, and submitted to thy rod: but yet he cried concerning his people, 2. Sam. 24.19. and said, These sheep what have they done? I dare not justify this thy patient; but I must needs acknowledge that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus dost wound him. But o thou who didst once command, Mat. 19 14. that little children should be brought unto thee; & didst prefer them for patterns both of innocency, and humility: show now thy power in the weakness of this child. Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation: and direct me to the means which may conduce to his recovery, if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it. Ps. 6.2. Have mercy upon him o Lord, for he is weak: o Lord heal him, and free him from his sufferings. Thou art he that tookest him out of my womb; Ps. 22.9. Ps. 9.13. Ps. 41.2. and canst as easily (if thou pleasest) lift him up now from the gates of death. Preserve him, o God, (if it may be thy heavenly pleasure) and keep him alive, that he may be blessed upon earth: o heal his soul, and raise him up again. Give a blessing to the means which shall be used for his recovery; Ps. 119 91. Ps. 56.8 that all things in their order may be known to serve thee. O let the tears of me thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy bottle; and let the cries of me thy mournful handmaid, who beg for this infant, be heard in the ears of thee the Lord of hosts. Thou thyself didst weep, o Christ, Io. 11.35. for the death of Lazarus: take compassion therefore on the weeping mother of this diseased child. O let not my tears be shed in vain; but mercifully free this infant from his anguish, and sufferings. Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed, righteous father not my will, Mat: 26.39. Ier: 10.24. but thy will be done. Only let me besiech thee to visit him in mercy, and not in thy fury; lest he be consumed, and brought to nought. Make him able to bear what thou determinest to send; and in thy good time raise him out of this misery. Lord give me also a willing submission to thy holy pleasure, that so I may neither discover too much fondness of affection to this my beloved issue, when I see him subject to frailty and mortality: nor too immoderately grieve, if thou receavest him to thyself. Forgive whatsoëver is amiss, in him; and let his soul the dear, and precious in thy sight. O Let thy mercy plead against thy severity; let thy gracious promises be had in thy remembrance: and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for me and mine. To thy will, o Lord, make me readily submit: to thy holy pleasure make me willingly yield. Thine is this infant, Ps: 39.13. and thou lentest him me: o spare him a little that he may recover his strength before he go hence, and be no more seen. To thy pleasure, o heavenly father, I willingly refer him, beseeching thee to send him thy grace while he shall remain upon earth; and after that, receive him into glory, for the worthiness of thine only begotten Son jesus Christ our only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT. Tears of a Mother for the death of her child. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen all wept, Luc: 8.52. and bewailed the little daughter of jairus, my jesus forbade their tears, saying, She is not dead, but sleepeth. O sweet comfort to the lamenting mother, whose only daughter should return from the dead. She that had shed the tears of sorrow for the loss of her joy, was then to shed tears of joy for the recovery of the deceased. But I weep, and weep, Lam: 1.2. and continually weep; the tears are on my cheeks; for my child is dead, & I have no hope of receiving him again to life. I, alas, am not the wife of a ruler of the temple: I have no jesus here in the flesh to work such a miracle for me. My poor child is dead; and (hopeless, and helpless as I am) there is no recovering, there is no recalling him. Yet stay: howsoever I will call; I will cry; me thinks he should not be dead: who knoweth but my sweet babe may hear me? Who knoweth but my Redeemer may awake him again? The daughter of jairus was dead to her parents; but she was not dead to the Messiah, He who will one day awake the dead, and rouse them from the graves, can now (if he pleaseth) speak as powerfully to my babe. My Saviour can; for he himself is neither dead, nor sleepeth. True it is that once he died; yea he died for me; and so for mine infant too: but he risen again, and from thenceforth can die no more; Rom: 6 9 death hath no more dominion over him. This living Saviour of mine may (if he please) restore my dead child. I will call him: peradventure he may awake. Son, o my son, my child, my love, my joy, my dearest infant; where art thou? Where strayest thou? Whither wanderest thou? Return, return little Saint, and cheer up the drooping spirits of thy fainting mother. What, no answer? No speech? Not so much as a groan, or a sigh? Will this frozen clod of earth be no more ●he carcanet of his immortal soul? Oh he's fled; he's gone; he's past : alas what shall I do? Is this the blessing of the womb, ●o enjoy a child for a year or two; and then ●o have it hasten to the womb of the earth? Is this the joy, the delight that women have in the fruit of their bodies; Gen: 3.16. only to conceive in sorrow; to travel in anguish; and when they are delivered, after a year or two to be bereft of them in a moment? Can not thousands of kisses, and dandlings, and dance: nay could not sckreeches, and groans, and cries call back my child? Alas, no: I see they could not: all was in ●aine. He who called Lazarus from the grave, hath called my little one to the grave. His soul is with him; and nothing now but his body is left, with me. From him I would not pluck him, me thinks, if I might; for he's at peace with him. From me, me thinks, I would not have had him call him; for he knoweth how I loved him: and yet his will, not mine must be fulfiled. O that I could so rest satisfied with the rest of my sweet infant! But why do I only wish so? I must likewise practise it, Act. 5.29. lest happily (as Gamaliel said unto the jews) I be found even to fight against God. I will therefore resolve with David, and say, 2 Sam. 12.23. Now he is dead wherefore should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. I shall go, when he who keepeth my child in his arms shall be pleased so to embrace me likewise, and to seat me in his Kingdom by my dearest child. Why then should I envy my little one the joys of eternity? If I weep too much, I may discover a discontent at his highest preferement. If I truly loved him I shall never envy him, although I shall desire that to those heavenly mansions I may certainly follow him. Young he was while mine he was; very young; tender; weak: and yet as young as he was, he now is suddenly grown older than myself: he is my better; he is my senior, and hath gotten before me into glory. Yea and his passage thither was fair, and gentle too, if I consider his sins which he suffered for only in his sickness. His rich soul espied a crevise, a chink, a flaw in his muddy earth made by his disease, and so escaped; flew away; even with the wings of that dove, that blessed Spirit, Ps: 55.6 which David panted for, and wished for, and cried for, saying, O that I had the wings of a dove; Gen. 7.1. King 13.24. 2. King 2.24. Num: 21 6. Gen: 19 24. for than would I flee away, and be at rest. Had my child been drowned, as was the old world; or torn in pieces by Lions, as was the disobedient Prophet; or by Bears, as were the forty and two children that mocked Elisha; or stung with Serpents, as were the murmuring Israëlites; or burnt with fire and brimstone, as were Sodom and Gomorrha; or swallowed up quick by the yawning, num: 16.33. act: 12 23. gaping, devouring earth, as were Corah, Dathan, and Abiram; or had he been smitten by the Angel of God, and eaten up of worms, of vermin, as was Herod Agrippa; then my grief indeed might have been increased; my sorrows might have been multiplied: & yet at length (if it had been so) I ought to have been contented: at length (if I belong unto him to whom my child is gone) I must have taken up the resolution of patiented, of holy, of devout job, and have said, The Lord gave, job. 1.21. and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. But my God hath been more merciful both to me, and mine; for he made much of my child; and finding him a little froward, a little wayward, a little unquiet, he gently laid him down to sleep. He sent a gentle disease to rock him, to sing him to sleep. And seeing that he thus gently, thus securely sleepe's in God, even in that God who never sleepeth, surely whilst I awake I will sing, and give praise, My glory shall awake; Ps: 57.8 my Lute and Harp shall awake; all my joys, all my pleasures, all my contents shall awake, and praise him, and magnify him for ever. And yet (for all this my resolution, for all my serious purpose thus to do) I find that in my music I stop upon a fret. That sudden sigh stole from my heart unawares. It may be that it was ashamed to stay there; and so slanke away. What, another? Nay, this is too much. King Solomon telleth me that there is a time to weep; Ecc: 3.4. but he doth not tell me that that time must continue so long as I continue here upon earth. What though I am a traveller? I must sometimes rest. What though I am an exul, a stranger, a sojourner here, as all my fathers were? I must have a lodging, I must have a chamber, I must have a room; and in that room, and in that chamber I may, I must have some rest. Yea and I must have some delight in it too; and that not on●e alone, but continually: for so I am commanded by the Apostle, Phil: 4.4. who saith, Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice. Divers indeed for divers causes have wept; but they have not always wept. Gen: 27.38. Esau lifted up his voice, and wept: but it was for the loss of his father's blessing. The Elders of Ephesus wept, Act: 20 38. 2. Chr: 35 25. yea they all wept sore; but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them, that they should see his face no more. A mourning I read of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo, when jeremiah lamented; and all the singing men and the singing women spoke of their King in their lamentations, and made them an ordinance in Israel. That was for josiah, who was slain by the army of Pharaoh Necho, in the valley of Megiddo. In Ramah was a voice heard, Ier: 31.15. lamentation, and bitter weeping. Rachel weeping for her children, because they were not. This me thinks comes home close, near to me. This was for the captivity of judah and Benjamin: or it was for the infants slain by that bloody, that presecuting Herod. Here are children lamented; so fare the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine. But neither is my child slain by a murderer; nor yet is he lead into captivity. No; Eph: 4.8. he who did lead captivity captive, hath freed my son from the fetters, Rom: 8 21. from the bondage of corruption, into the glorious liberty of ●he sons of God. My child was not slain as were all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, Mat: 2.16. from two years old, and under. No; He who was slain for him hath saved him. He who hath swallowed up death in victory, Is: 25.8 Hos: 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave, and redeemed him from death. Lord, though I am a weak, though a sinful woman, make me for ever to praise thee for this thy goodness; Ps: 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for me, and mine. When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well, my bountiful jesus freely gave her to drinke of the living water, Io: 4.14. which became in her a well of water springing up into everlasting life. I am such a woman as she was: mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well: and though the well be deep, even deep as my heart, yet something I have had to draw the water with. My child, mine infant hath drawn, and drawn, until I am even almost drawn dry: And in this agony, and in this distress my Christ hath come to cleanse my well, to sanctify my tears, and to ease me of my grief. 1. King. 3.26. My bowels indeed did yearn upon my child, as that woman's did whose issue should have been divided for the satisfaction of the harlot. My child is divided, though hers were spared. The better part of him, the soul is gone; it is gone to God; for his it is, it is his own share: nothing but the earth of him remaineth with me. But I will, I must be thankful: and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart, yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead, Ier: 22.10. and bemoaning of them. Let me beg for patience, for submission, for content, and say. The Prayer. BLessed Lord God, Ps: 68.20. unto whom belong the issues from death; vouchsafe to hear the cry of thy mourning handmaid. Thou wert pleased once to bless me with increase; and to make me a joyful mother of my now dead infant. But oh that, that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee, is now come unto thee. The first that sinned was a woman, tempted by the Serpent; Gen. 3.13. and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deep that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my womb for the sins of myself. Yet Lord look down in mercy upon me, though a sinful woman; though the most unworthy of my sex; Mat. 15.28. even fare inferior to that woman of Canaan: for herfaith was great, but I alas, have no faith at all; or but a weak one, or but a dead one: otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would control my passion, and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my tears. Thou, o Lord, hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh; yet I go heavily for it, as if it were lost in my despair. Thou hast crowned it with immortality; and yet my passion declareth that I mourn as if it were lost. Ps: 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires; and my groaning is not hid from thee. Thou seest how my tears do flow through mine infirmity: thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content. I confess it, I am sorrowful for it, I am ashamed of it: Act. 7.60. Lord lay not this sin to my charge. Thou hast taken nothing but thine own: O be pleased so to make me thine own by grace; and then shall I be assured (in thine own due time) to be received into glory. Alloy the heat of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit. Grant that my tears may be kept for my sins; & my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences. My heart is heavy for the loss of my child; o Lord lighten it, o Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace. Ps: 94.19. In the multitude of sorrows which I have in my heart, let thy comforts, o Lord, refresh my soul. My child (thou knowest) was dear unto me, because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto me. He was, and he is dear unto thee; and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him from the evil, 1. Thes. 1.10. 2. Tim: 2.11. from the wrath to come. He is deal in Christ; Lord let me be dead with Christ, that I may also live with Christ. My child is dead because he was sinful; but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ. O thou who art rich in mercy, Eph: 2.4. for the great love wherewith thou hast loved mankind, grant that I may not die in sin, but to it; that so I may be quickened together with thy Son. Make me to yield myself unto thee, Rom: 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead; and my members as instruments of righteousness unto thee my God. Forgive my excess of love to him that is gone; my excess of tears and sighs that have been caused by his departure; my want of patience, and submission to thy holy pleasure; and my raging outcries which have given an evil example of impatience unto others, & a scandal to ●…y religion. It was thy pleasure to free mine infant from the tyranny of sin: it was thy ●ove, it was thy mercy to take him, that so he ●ight sin no more. Lord unto thy will 〈◊〉 submit my will: and for thy love, for thy mercy, for thy goodness I praise thee, I blesse ●hee, I magnify thee my Lord and my God. Vipe (I besiech thee) from mine eyes all ears of discontent: remove from mine heart he excess of sorrow: and make me walk in ●…y vocation with cheerfulness; and in my religion with settledness, & resolution. The mortality of my child hath taught me the ●…ailty even of myself: grant therefore, bles●ed God, that the longer I live the better I may ●…ow both in grace and goodness; that so when his painful life shall have an end, I may ●eete thee my God with comfort; thee my jesus with joy and rejoicing; and my deceased child together with the rest of the choir of Saints with heavenly hallelujahs; and sing praise, Reu. 5.13. and honour, and glory unto thee who sittest upon the throne, and to the Lamb for ever mere. Amen. subject 18 THE EIGHTEENTH SUBjECT Tears of a wife for the sickness of her husband. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord● consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. LOrd, how various is the condition of mortals! Sometimes we are sick, and sometimes we are well. Sometimes in sickness we draw near to the grave; and sometimes again we are in hope of recovery. 'tis thus, o 'tis thus with my dearest husband. He who was my comfort and joy in his health, is now my grief● and sorrow in his sickness. The extremity o● his anguish enforceth my tears; and those conflicts of his between life and death do pierce me even to the soul. I am, me thinks, so divided in my tears, that I cannot well determine whether the greatest number of them ●re shed for the torments which he suffereth, ●r for the loss of mine own content, or for the ●aines which love and loyalty enforce me to ●ake, or for fear of his departure. All of them ●ow from the springs of love; and are ready ●o convert me into a gliding stream●… When Eve was arraigned for enticing her 〈…〉 ●o the act of disobedience, Gen: 3.16. it was part of her punishment that her desire should be subject ●nto her husband, and he should rule over her. Me thinks I could be well contented to under go this servitude, so that my husband might not undergo this sickness. Alas his ●isease is grown so violent that it even darkeneth his reason; and maketh him desire he knoweth not what. I would gladly obey himen's ●n whatsoëver he commandeth, but that I must not yield unto all his desires in this time of his weakness. I must now obey the physician's order; and follow those directions which he prescribeth. O the misery of sickness, which so enfeebleth the brain that it un-man's a husband, and pretendeth to free the wife from the yoke of obedience. Now my desires must not be subject to my dearest husband, if he requireth that which may hinder his recovery: yet howsoever my desires shall be for him, when they may not be to him; for I will beg of the Lord to ease him of his misery, and to restore him to health. O me thinks I am not as I should be, because I want the comfort, and direction of my head. He, poor man, i● grown as feeble by sickness as I am by sex: and although the torment be his, yet the sorrow is mine. When I remember the un●kindnesse of the Amalekite to his sick servant, I cannot choose but wonder at the greatness of the inhumanity. 1. Sam. 30.13. The master left his sick Egyptian when the enemy pursued; as if it h●d been a high offence to want his health. Io sickness we have a certain trial of a friend, He that only affecteth us in health, & leaveth us in weakness, is but a pretender to friendship, and truly loveth us not. O who would leave a languishing man, that knoweth not how to help himself? Me thinks I rejoice (though in my greatest perplexity) that Godhath given me both power and ability to comfort my dearest. I hourly visit him, though not without tears: and when I most endeavour to be a comforter unto him, even then, alas, I am enforced to weep. Thus his very potiens are mixed with the drops that distil from mine eyes; and at every turn I am so sensible of his misery, that I do in a manner embalm him alive with mine abundant tears, although I yet have hope of his recovery. 2. King 8.7. When Benhadad the King of Assyria was sick, he sent Hazaël to meet Elisha the man of God, and inquire of the Lord by him, saying, Shall I recover of this disease? vers. 8. Me thinks I could gladly perform that office of Hazaël, but where shall I meet with-such a Prophet as Elisha? Alas it is not in the power of man to limit our times: it is God alone who numbereth our days. I must therefore leave my curiosity, and submit to his pleasure. And yet in my submission I cannot leave weeping; for even nature alloweth me a freedom to mourn. David grieved when his very enemies were sick: for so he saith, As for me, Ps. 35.13. when they were sick my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled my soul with fasting. How much rather may I be allowed to grieve for my friend for my husband! Who knoweth but that my sin may be the cause of his misery? By my tears of sorrow I will therefore strive to remove the cause. It is in the power of my Redeemer both to forgive me, and to recover him. But alas so long as he is sick I cannot be well. So long as the head is troubled the body must needs be disturbed. He is my head, and I am his glory. 1. Cor. 11.3. vers. 7. Alas what comfort can I receive, when my head is sick? What glory can he take in the wife of his bosom, when the violence of his pain depriveth him of my society? But why do I utter these words of discontent as if it were in the power of man to recover my beloved? It is god alone that sendeth sickness, and that sendeth health: on him therefore alone will I depend, and in him alone will I hope. Saint Paul relateth that Epaphroditus was sick, Phil. 2.27. nigh unto death: but God (saith he) had mercy on him; and not on him only, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. My dear husband is sick, as was Epaphroditus; yea and (for aught that I know) he may be sick unto death too: but I will trust in the Lord that he will have mercy upon him, and restore him; yea and on me also that I may not be drowned in the floods of sorrow. Mat. 8.14. vers. 15 When jesus came into Peter's house, he saw his wive's mother laid, and sick of a fever: And he did but touch her hand and the fever left her, and she arose, and ministered unto them. My jesus doth still retain both his mercy and his power. Though his body be absent, yet his spirit is present. He can if he please, reach down from heaven; Deut: 4 34. for he hath a mighty hand, and a stretched-out arm. O that he would but touch his patient, that so his disease might leave him, and that he might arise and serre the Lord! The Prophet David did highly extol the goodness of the Lord when he acknowledged saying, Ps: 30.3 O Lord thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive that I should not go down to the pit. Do thou the same, o my God, for thine afflicted servant. My Redeemer was pleased to tell the Pharisees that the husband and the wife are no more twain, but one flesh; and therefore he concluded, saying, What God hath joined together let not man put asunder. Mat: ●9 6. My husband and myself are joined together by the sacred institution of holy wedlock, which maketh us one; for we have but one God, one body, one mind, one affection: wherefore then should any thing attempt to separate us? Yet we may be Separated: and if this divorce be not wrought by man, it infringeth not the law of God. Sickness may make, yea and at this time it doth make an unwellcome separation: yet though we are separated, we are not divided. But I must find out more in this separation then barely the sickness. I must look up unto him who sent this sickness; and that is God. He may separate us indeed whensoever he pleaseth. He may send his executioner, that pale, and grim death, with his sharpest Sickle; and give him power to reap down either one; or both of us. That is the effect of sin; and I cannot deny but I have deserved to be deprived of my husband, because I have many ways offended him who sent him unto me. In the time of his health did I expect his sickness? Did I provide for this evil day? Nay, did I not rather pride myself as Babylon did, Reu: 18 7. and say in mine heart, I sit as a Queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow? Certainly his sickness is also sent as a scourge unto me: for, being flesh of his flesh, and bone of his bone, I cannot choose but be sensible of the anguish which he suffers. Yet, although it is just with God to deprive me of my husband because of my rebellions; I have hope in his mercy if I can but confess my wickednesses, Ps. 38.18. Eze. 34 16. and be sorry for my sins. He promised once by the mouth of his Prophet, saying, I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, & will strengthen that which was sick. O my God make good this promise now to thy languishing servant. He is one of thy flock: he is one of thy weak, and tender Lambs. True it is that he was lost, when he went astray after his own inventions: but now as thou hast found him in this thy visitation, so let him find thee in the gentlnesse of his correction. Seek him, o my God, who was lost; bring him again unto thee, who was driven from thee by the suggestions of the tempter; bind him up, for he is broken; Ps. 41.3 and strengthen him now upon the bed of languishing: make thou all his bed in this his sickness. Moses did assure the children of Israel, that If they would hearken to the judgements of God, Deut. 7 12. verse 15 and keep, and do them, Then the Lord would take away from them all sickness, and would put none of the evil diseases of Egypt upon them. O my Lord be pleased to make thy feeble servant willing to hearken to thy judgements, and ready to keep them; and then in thy good time release him from his sickness. Again the Lord at another time did comfort his people, Ex. 23.25. and said unto them, Ye shall serve the Lord your God, and I will take sickness away from the midst of thee. O that my God would be pleased to draw this languishing patient to his holy service, and accept of that service, and then free him from this sickness! He who hath wounded him, even the same can cure him; and he expecteth no reward; only he requireth the heart. But alas the very heart of my husband is tormented with sickness; he is sick at the heart; and the Lord doth say, Mal. 1.8. If ye offer the lame and the sick, is it not evil? But what then shall he do? He can offer no other than what he hath. Let it be thy goodness, o God, to cure him of his lameness; to ease him of his sickness; and then accept of the whole man, for he is wholly thine. He who so friendly speaketh to the house of Israël, and justifieth himself unto them, saying, O my people what have I done unto thee, Mich. 6.3. and wherein have I wearied thee? Even the same God notwithstanding threatneth the wicked that he will make them sick in smiting vers: 13 them. My poor husband now is sensible of his wrath, because he had formerly refused his mercy. Even he and myself have been apt to forget our good God when he did not weary us; and therefore now he doth make us sick in this smiting us. Yet there is hope; for even the same God is ours who was the God of Daniel; and that Prophet saith, Dan: 8.27. I Daniel fainted, and was sick certain days: afterward I risen up, and did the King's business. My poor husband fainteth too; oh he is sick too: but I will pray unto my God to raise him up again, that so he may do the King's business; even the business of him who is King of Kings, Reu: 17.14. and Lord of Lords. For this I will besiech him; and I will beg of him, that in the bowels of his compassion he will open his ears to the cry of his handmaid, whilst I pour out my prayer and supplication unto him, and say. The Prayer. INcomprehensible God, whose works are deep, and whose ways are past finding out: who smitest in thy wrath, and yet in thy wrath remember'st mercy: Hab. 3.2. be pleased to stretch forth thine hand, and visit in mercy thine afflicted patient. Thou art the good Samaritane from whom alone we can expect the oil of gladness, Lu: 10.33. Ps: 45.7 and the wine of consolation. O remember not the iniquities either of my sick Lord, or my sinful self: for we know that in thy justice thou mayst tear us in pieces, Ps: 50.22. Is: 53.5 when there can be none to deliver us. O thou who didst suffer thyself to be wounded for our transgressions, be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soul and body of thy distressed servant. Thou knowest, Lord, that the feeble soul cannot praise thee with cheerfulness, nor serve thee with alacrity. The sickness of the body disturbeth the soul, and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readiness. O say of his disease that It is enough; and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation. Thine hand, o Lord, is laid upon him; and the stroke is so heavy, that it woundeth us both. Merciful God let the sins of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a cloud; Is: 44.22. and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Son. Mar: 2.17. The whole have no need of thee the physician, but we that are sick: O be thou the Physician to cure our souls; and then, in thy good time, restore thy diseased servant to his former health. But if thou hast sent him this sickness as a messenger of death, o give him patience to bear, and willingness to suffer whatsoever thou sendest. Rank him not in the number of those rich and wicked, Eccl. 5.17. who have much sorrow, and wrath in their sickness; but ease his sorrow, and appease thy wrath. Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure, that so whether he liveth, Rom. 14.8. he may live unto thee: or whether he dyeth, he may die unto thee: yea whether he liveth or dyeth, that he may be thine. Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise merciful to me a sinner. Thou knowest how deeply this affliction woundeth me. To him thou gavest me whom now thou visitest, that so he might be both my head, and my director: and thou knowest my weakness and my frailties, that I cannot understand, I cannot walk in thy ways without a counsellor, I cannot apprehend what I read, Act. 8.31. except some man should guide me. O be thou pleased therefore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learn of at home: 1. Cor. 14.35. for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdom, let it be thy goodness to moderate my sorrow upon earth. If thou takest him from my society, let me not be left alone; but send me the comforter, even thy holy Spirit to be my Protector, and my guide unto death. Ps. 48.14. Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sickness; and ease thou my sorrows which arise from his pains. Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and me, that when this painful life shall have an end, we may be found of thee in peace, 2. Pet. 3.14. Is. 9.6. through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace, even jesus Christ my Lord and only Saviour. Amen. THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT. Tears of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen Mary came where jesus was, Io. 11.32. and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. She wept indeed, yet it was but for a brother; and the jews also wept, vers. 33. yet it was but for a common friend: but what was all that to the death of a husband? O my husband, my husband! That very name of husband me thinks would flatter me with comfort, as if I might imagine that he could hear me. But oh, he is dead, he is dead: he cannot hear me; he cannot behold me; he cannot answer me: his ears are locked up, his eyes are closed, his mouth is sealed, his soul is gone. O what shall I do for my head, my guide, my heart, my husband? Were my Saviour upon earth again, I could send one to him as Mary did, vers. 3. who should say, Lord behold he whom thou lovest is dead. Dead say I? O dead, dead: he is gone; he is departed, and can never be re-called. But why? Why can he not be called back again? Did not my jesus cause Lazarus to arise when he had been four days dead? verse 44 vers. 39 Yes, he did: but what then? I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did; nor (I fear) doth he love me so well as he did Mary: or if both were so, yet, since miracles are ceased, I cannot so much as hope that he will call back the spirit of my Lord; my husband. Oh, could he be wooed by the tears of a sinful woman, never did any mourn so much as I would. But nothing will persuade: I seek but the disturbance of him whom I mourn for, if I desire to call him from his eternal rest. Yet I hope that it is no sin to grieve that he is gone. I lament not his happiness, but mine own loss. vers: 35 My jesus himself did weep for Lazarus, in testimony of his affection, for so said the jews, vers: 36 Behold how he loved him. And was my love to my husband so little, or so cold, that I should forget to testify it in a sorrowful tear? O I cannot forbear the remembrance of him, Is: 1.2. Lam: 1.12. who was dearer unto me then life itself. Hear o heavens, and give ear o earth. Was it nothing to you all ye that were by him, when ye saw him breathing out his soul, and forsaking the world? O behold, and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto me, wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in this day of his anger. Tell me not how jacob lamented the supposed death of his son joseph. He was misse-taken in the cause; but I see, and feel the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband. jacob mourned only for a son; but I for an husband. jacob had more, many more: I had but one, 2. Sam: 1.26. and the love of this one to me did pass the love of women. Yet though joseph was alive, and though he was the youngest save one of twelve sons, Gent 37.34 jacob. his father rend his , and put sackcloth upon his loins, and mourned for him many days. c: 23.2. Tell me not how Abraham bewailed the death of Sarah his wife, who died in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan. He was a man, & so neither his passion, nor his loss could parallel mine. He had more-wives, but I had not more husbands. And yet though Abraham lost but only a wife, I read that he came to mourn and to weep for her. Tell me not of Abijah the son of a King, how he died, and was lamented. Can a Prince be as near, and dear to the people, as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome? Yet though neither marriage, nor blood could plead for a tear, I find that all Israël mourned for him. 1. King 14.18. Had not my husband been King, yet how should I forbear the expense of a tear when death depriveth me of the name of a wife? Had he not been godly, than the words of the Psalmist might peradventure have been verified even of him, Ps: 27.15. His widow shall not weep. But o he was full of love, and he was truly religious: for mine own loss therefore must I freely weep, because my loving, my religious husband is taken from me. Naomi requited the love of her daughters in law expressed to their dead husbands, with a fervent prayer saying, Ruth. 1.8. The Lord deal kindly with you as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me: vers: 9 The Lord grant that ye may find rest each of you in the house of her husband. When the wife of Ezekiel was taken from him, I doubt not but he loved her so well that he would have bemoaned her departure, had not the Lord expressly charged him the contrary. Eze: 24 16. But the Lord said unto him, Son of man, behold I take away from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroke; yet neither shalt thou mourn, nor weep; neither shall thy tears run down. Forbear to cry; vers. 17 make no mourning for the dead: bind the tire of thine head upon thee, and put on thy shoes upon thy feet, and cover not thy lips. Surely his tears were not forbidden as if it were unlawful to lament the dead. No: it was only because the Lord by that signe would show that the calamity of the jews should be beyond that sorrow which enforceth a weeping. But what was Ezekiel's loss in comparison of mine? He was a man, and a Prophet, set over his wife to be her instructor; so was mine set over me also: but there the scholar only departed, the wife: here the very Oracle is ceased, my husband is gone. While he was alive, my knowledge was increased; for if I would have learned any thing, 1. Cor: 14.15. 1. Pet: 3 7. I could ask him at home. He dwelled with me according to knowledge, giving honour unto me as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; Eph. 5.28. 1. Tim. 5.8. so that our prayers were not hindered. He loved me even as his own body: he provided both for me and mine. But now alas I may live in ignorance, disrespected, and un provided for: none will comfort me, none will help me as did my husband that's gone. Act. 5.4. Though wicked Saphira had joined with Ananias her husband in lying unto God concerning the sale of their possession; vers. 5. and her husband at the words of Saint Peter fell down, and gave up the ghost, and was carried out by the young men, vers. 6. and buried; yet she lived not long enough either to bewail his death, or to consider of her loss. She continued a widow but about three hour's space, vers: 7. vers. 10 and then fell down at the Apostles feet, and yielded up the ghost. She quickly followed her husband in death, who joined in the wickedness with him in his life. She hastened to the grave of her departed consort, as if love had forbade her to survive her husband. Yet it was not love but justice which made them lie together in the silent grave, since they joined together in a lie in their lives. This alas was not a testimony of her love, so quickly to follow her husband to the land of darkness. Me thinks that I could be well contented to have died with my husband, and to be laid in the grave by his frozen body: but neither would I have sin to be the cause, nor judgement the effect. Why then do I so much lament his departure, whose death was full of an assurance of life, and whose hope was full of immortality? Had Saphira survived her deceased husband but so long as to have been sensible of the manner of his death, it may be imagined that she would have sighed herself to the grave; and even grief alone would have joined them in the vault of darkness, and silence. But God delayed not the punishment of her who obstinately persisted in the crime of her husband. Here is yet some comfort for me in my deep calamity, that neither my husband was guilty of the sin of Ananias; nor yet did his death come so unexpected. Why then should I grieve so much for the departure of him, who is gone from hence to eternal rest? He died in the Lord, Reu: 14 13. and I cannot therefore doubt but he is assuredly blessed. He resteth from his labours, and his works do follow him. Why then do I shed such an abundance of tears, as if I either disinherited his happiness, or envied his felicity? My cause is not so great (if I rightly weigh it) as to cause these floods to arise in mine eyes. When I think upon him I have reason to rejoice both because he is freed as well from the tyranny of sin as from the misery it produceth; and also because he is at rest in my God. If I consider myself also, mine affliction is not so great, nor my tears so just as I do imagine: for they will prove rather an argument of my distrust in God, then of my love to my husband, if I give them the freedom to flow beyond moderation. He who lent me him can send me another; yea such a one as may deserve as well, and to whom my love may be as fervent. If I have lost mine estate, yet I have not lost my protector, unless I forsake him in my distrust. If I complain for want of the joy of society, even my very thoughts (so they be religions) will delight me with their company. If I want an instructor, my God will be my guide. If I want a comforter, my God will wipe these tears from mine eyes. If I want either food or sustenance for my body, Prov: 15.15. yet a good conscience will prove a continual feast. My loss is not so great as ever was sustained, if I compare it with those which others have soffered. Naömie's affliction was greater than mine, Ruth. 1 3. when not only her husband Elimelech, but also her two sons Mahlon and Chilion died, and the woman was left of her two sons, & her husband at once. 1. Sam. 4.11. It was worse by fare with the wife of Phinehar than it is with me; for her husband and his brother were both slain in one day by the Amalekites; yea and that in judgement too, c: 3.13. even because they made themselves vile, and their father restrained them not. When the news came to her that the Ark of God was taken by the un-circumcised; c: 4.13. that old Eli her father in law hearing the news that the Ark was taken and that his sons were slain, vers. 18 fell from the seat backward by the side of the gate, and broke his neck, and died; she, vers. 19 poor soul, being great with child when the story of these sad accidents was related unto her, bowed herself, and fell in travail (for her pains came upon her) yea & at length, when she was delivered of her Ichabod, vers. 21 she gave up the ghost. Thus the Priests fell by the sword; Ps. 78.64. and no widow was left to make lamentation. True it is that my affliction is great in the death of my husband; yea so great that herewith the slanderous enemy of the Psalmist was severely cursed, Ps: 109.9. Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow: yet is it fare better to see him go down to the grave in peace, then that he should have lingered in continual misery. Ier: 22.12 Shallum. the son of josiah King of judah was carried captive by an enemy into another land, and died there; which the Prophet considering, speaketh, and saith, vers: 10 Weep not for the dead, neither bemoan him; but weep for him that goëth away, for he shall return no more, nor see his native country. This might have been the portion also of my beloved: but since it was not, though my loss be great, yet must not my sorrow be too great. Immoderate grief for those that are dead was the practice of heathens; it becometh not the children of God. The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himself, who saith unto them, Lev: 19 28. Deut: 14.1. Ye shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord. And again; Ye are the children of the Lord your God: ye shall not cut yourselves, nor make any baldness between your eyes for the dead. The Gentiles indeed at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow, that they cut themselves, Ier: 16.6. & made themselves bald in the greatness of their lamentations. They carved their flesh, and marked themselves for idolatry; yea they also cut their skins when a friend deceased; and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium, or ink, or what colour they pleased, which remained in the flesh when the skin was grown over. In all their sorrows such kinds of inscisions were ordinary testimonies of the grief of their hearts. Ier: 41.5. Thus the four score men that came from Shechem, from Shiloh, and from Samariah had their beards shaved, and their clothes rend, and they had cut themselves; and had offerings, and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baal did call on the name of their Idol, 1. King 18.28. they cried aloud, and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers, till the blood gushed out upon them. Yet though it was the practice of the Gentiles, it may not be of Christians, nor might it be of the Israëlites: they therefore punished it with many stripes. And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally been stained with the blood of their own bodies, the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruel offence. The jews might not cut themselves at the death of a friend, Noah though of a father; because they were not fatherless while the Lord was their God. The infidels indeed had no share in the most high, and therefore were fatherless when their sires deceased: but it was not so with Israel, nor is it so with me. I have a father, which is in heaven, Mat: 6.9. to whom my husband is gone before me. I have a husband too, which is in heaven; even the same who was a husband to judah and Israël. I have a head too which is in heaven; Ier: 31.32. even my Saviour Christ, Eph: 5.23. who is the head of the Church. I have a brother too, which is in heaven; even my elder brother jesus Christ. Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead, since he is but gone to the place where my treasure is laid up; Mat. 6.20. and where my immortal father, and head, and brother have crowned him with immortality? My God hath taken him, that I may know where to find him. Whilst he continued upon earth, his employments did often deprive me of his society: but now is he seated in a place of rest, to which when I come we shall never be separated. Whilst he was here, my affection unto him indeed was great; and that was my duty: but yet I fear that I offended in the excess. Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow; but even by these tears I am taught the sinfulness of my passion. For this sin therefore will I strive to weep; even for the trespass of my weeping. I should never have been so offensively sensible of this my loss, nor so vain in my laments, if I had always remembered that he was created mortal; and had therefore trusted in him who is immortal. If I do love my God more than I did my husband, I shall find both comfort, and content in his mercy. Lord, how frail, and weak am I, that I cannot discharge the debt of nature, but I must bring in question the power of grace! I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband, without discovering some diffidence, some distrust in my God. But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excess of my love to my deceased husband; the excess of my tears for the death of my husband: and to convert these tears into drops of sorrow for my heinous offences. To him will I hasten; to him will I speedily address myself; and mournfully will I cry, and beg, and pray, and say. The Prayer. FAther of mercies, and God of all consolation; joa: 11.25. vers. 26 thou who art the resurrection, and the life; in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though he were dead; and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally: send down thy grace into my sinful soul, that I may magnify thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life; and for inthroning him in the celestial ●erusalem, where I doubt not but he reigneth. Thou knewest his sufferances, and the sharpness of his sickness; & in mercy didst release him of his misery to crown him with glory. Thy favours were infinite in his spiritual comforts, when his body languished through the extremity of his disease. By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sin; yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell, through the sufferances of thy Son. For thy goodness to him thy name be glorified: and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it. Thou knowest, Lord, the distress of my soul for want of him whom thou hast taken from me. Thou seest mine affliction, and thou numberest my tears. O be gracious unto me thine unworthy servant, and send me comfort in the midst of these sorrows. Give me grace to submit with cheerfulness to this thy chastisement; and to repent me of my sins, which brought this affliction. Were it not just for me to make my complaint in the bitterness of my sorrows, thou wouldst not have commanded Zion to lament like a virgin girded with sackcloth for the husband of her youth. Thou, Lam: 1.8. o Lord, dost behold my sorrow, and the grief of my heart, because thou hast taken from me the desire of mine eyes, Eze: 24 16. and the joy of my heart. Be pleased, o my God, so to open the eyes of my soul and understanding, that I may see as clearly the cause of thy stroke, as I am sensible of the loss of him that was my guide. Though he was sent to be the head of my body; yet thou, o God, didst offer thyself to be the husband of my soul: but to my shame I must confess that I followed the steps of Samaria, Eze: 16 45. of Sodom, and of jerusalem; and loathed thee my Lord, and my husband: justly therefore mightest thou say of me as thou once didst speak of the church of the jews, Hos: 2.2 She is not my wife, neither am I her husband. But, o thou father of mercies, for give my back-slidings; and add not affliction to affliction, lest I faint under thy rod. Is: 47.9 Spiritual widowhood was a curse which once thou didst threaten unto Babylon; o let it not fall upon me. Although thou hast taken him that was my husband, yet be pleased to betrothe me to thyself for ever. Hos: 2.19. Say unto me Ruchama, thou hast obtained mercy; vers. 16 vers. 19 and let me answer thee, Baali, and Ishi, my Lord and my husband. Betroath me unto thee in righteousness, and in judgement, and in loving-kindness, vers. 20 and in mercies, and in faithfulness; and make me know thee to be my lord 2. Cor: 11.2. Send a Paul to espouse me to one husband, that so I may be presented as a chaste virgin unto Christ. Give me grace to do as once thou commandedst the widows of Edom; Ier: 49.11. 1. Tim: 5.5. even to trust in thee. Though now I am desolate, yet make me for ever to trust in thee my God; and continue in supplications and prayers night and day. Thus let my sorrow be sanctified, and my trust and confidence reposed in thee, that so I may serve thee with cheerfulness; endure thy visitation with patience; and in the end that I may go to that place where I trust thou hast crowned my husband, and where my Saviour is certainly gone before; even to the Kingdom of happiness: and that through the merits and intercession of the same jesus Christ my only Lord and Saviour. Amen. subject 20 THE TWENTIETH SUBJECT. A woman's tears at the funer all of her husband. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. WHen Sarah died in Kiriath-Arba Abraham stood up from before his deceased wife, Gen 23 3. and spoke unto the sons of Heth, vers. 4. saying; I am a stranger, and a sojourner with you: give me a possession, and a burying place with you, that I may bury my dead out of my fight. Though he so tenderly affected her whilst she was living, yet he would not look to long on her when she was dead. It is a duty as full of humanity to inter with decency the bodies of the dead, as it is of religion to love the person when they are alive. Yet vain is man in this affection, if he fixeth his love only on the beauty of the body. This flesh which is so tender, this skin which I strive to preserve both smooth and white, must one day be a banquet for the loathed worms. No greater privilege belongeth to me, than did to my hushand; for the time will come when I shall follow him to the earth. Had I loved only his outward form, my love should now either quite be forgotten, or else I should fond desire to deny it interment: but it was his body enlivened with a rich and excellent soul, which drew mine affection, and commanded my desires. Had that soul and body continued their society, I had been freed from my laments: but they have bid farewell till the general resurrection, and hence am I enforced to utter my complaints. I weep for my loss because we are divorced: but o what conflicts then can I imagine that he had, when he was not only to part from his endeared wife, but likewise his soul was to leave this chillowed ●earth! Oh for him, for him for my loss of him do I pay the tribute of these watering eyes. Yet these tears must not flow in too great abundance, lest by them I should seem to envy his happiness. Even when his body shall be laid to sleep in the grave, if I mourn too much, it will be justly suspected that too much I loved the worst of my husband. His soul, which was his best, is now in perfection, and may not be lamented: his body, which is the worse and grosser part of him, is now to be committed to the earth whence it came. Thither it must go; to that place I must commend it; otherwise my former love may be turned into loathing: and that which I esteemed when it was alive, I shall be forced to abhor, if I keep it from the grave. O it grieveth me each minuit that I think of my dearest: it troubleth, and perplexeth me with disturbed thoughts, when I consider how servently I loved him, yet cannot enliven him. But these are only the fond conceptions of an erring phantisie; and tell me that I loved him more than I should or else now I would not grieve so much as I do. If my love to God be so great as I pretend, I shall thankfully acknowledge his love to the departed. O let it never be said that my love was idolatry, in affecting him too much who is but dust and ashes! But why sit I museing in these pensive thoughts, when I should rather prepare for the burial of the dead? Have I taken a course for the place of his rest, where his cold body may be laid to sleep? This is a duty which every age hath been careful to perform. It was a greater argument of Iehojakim's fury against Vryah the Prophet, jer. 26.23. that he cast his dead body into the graves of the common people, then that he slew him with the sword. It hath also been a testimony of God's revenge, when he suffered not the dead to have a decent interment. Eccl: 6.3. If a man beget an hundred children (saith the Preacher) and live many years, so that the days of his years be many; and his soul be not filled with good, and also that he have no burial, I say that an untimely birth is better than he. When the man of God had dis-obeyed his command, the old Prophet told him saying, Thy carkeise shall not come into the sepulchre of thy fathers. 1. King 13.22. This curse was accounted as full of dread, as any that was sent upon the sons of men. When the young man the Prophet anointed jehu King over Israë, 2. King 9.7. he told him that he should smite the house of Ahab his master; and that the dogs should eat jezebel in the portion of jezreel; vers. 10 vers. 7. and there should be none to bury her: that the Lord might avenge the blood of his servants the Prophets, and the blood of all the servants of the Lord at the hand of jezebel. What jehu was commanded he did faithfully execute; for when he had caused the eunuches to throw that painted adulteress out of the window from whence she looked, vers. 3. some of her blood was sprinkled both on the wall, and on the horses, and he trod her under foot. Afterward when he had eat and drank, he said, vers. 34. G●e see now this cursed woman, and bury her; for she is a King's daughter. vers. 35 And they went to bury her; vers. 37 but they found no more of her then the skull, and the feet & the palms of her hands; sothat they could not say, This is lezebel. jer. 22.17. Because the eyes of jehojakim, and his heart were not but for his covetousness, and for to shed innocent blood, and for oppression, & for violence to do it; vers. 18 therefore thus said the Lord concerning jehojakim the son of josiah King of judah, vers. 19 He shall be buried with the burial of an Ass; drawn, and cast forth beyond the gates of jerusalem. The Lord threatened the Princes of judah, c. 34.19. and the Princes of jerusalem, and the Eunuches, and the Priests & all the people of the land which passed between the parts of the calf, vers. 20 saying, I will even give them into the hand of their enemies, and into the hand of them that seek their life; and their dead bodies shall be for meat unto the fowls of heaven, and to the beasts of the earth. But on the contrary, Ahijah the Prophet telleth the wife of ieroboam concerning her sick son Abijah, 1. King 24.12. vers. 13 saying; Arise get thee to thine house; and when thy feet enter into the city, the child shall die: But all Israël shall mourn for him, and bury him; for he only of jeroboam shall come to thegrave, because in him there is found some good thing towards the Lord God of Israel in the house of jeroboam. Again, when Huldah the Prophetess did for etell the destruction of jerusalem, but a respite thereof in the time of josiah, she told him, 2. King 22.20. saying, Behold, saith the Lord, I will gather thee to thy fathers; and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace. Thus hath it often discovered the wrath of the Almighty, when the earkeises of the dead have been denied their funerals: and on the contrary, it hath sometimes manifested his love, when they have peaceably been brought to their longest home. Burial is the last of duties which we own unto our friends, to which both religion, and nature, and civility do prompt us for ward. When Isaak, being old and full of days, Gen: 35 29. did give up the ghost, and died, and was gathered unto his people; his two sons Esau and jacob buried him. When john the Baptist was beheaded in the prison, Mat: 14 12. his disciples came and took up the body, and buried it. The disciple that was willing to follow my Redeemer, yet accounted it his duty to attend on the funeral of his deceased father, and therefore desired, saying, c: 8.21. Lord suffer me first to go and bury my father. True it is that his request was denied; not as if Christ dis-liked his piety; but to teach him that nothing should hinder him from religion. This was as great an excuse as most that could have been pleaded: and yet even this had not force enough to prevail for his departure. Our father in heaven must be preferred in our service before the fathers of our flesh. Again, it may be conceived that the parent of the disciple died in unbelief: it was therefore more proper that infidels should bury him who were dead to religion, then that a disciple of Christ should mix with the unfaithful. Howsoëver he was not checked for desiring leave to bury his father; but he was commanded rather to follow his Master. Even the glutton in the Gospel had so much favour as to be brought to his grave: so saith the text; The rich man also died, Lu. 16.22. job. 21.30. vers: 32 vers. 33 and was buried. Though the wicked (saith job) is reserved to the day of destruction, and shall be brought forth to the day of wrath: yet shall he be brought to the grave, and shall remain in the tomb: The clods of the valley shall be sweet unto him; and every man shall draw after him; as there are innumerable before him. Ps. 49.14. Though death (as the Psalmist speaketh) doth feed on the wicked, and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning, and their beauty shall consume from their dwellings; yet in the grave shall it consume them; and in the grave, like sheep, shall they lie. Thus the Prophet foretelling the burial of my Redeemer, Is: 53.9 said, He made his grave with the wicked, & the rich in his death. It is then the duty of the living to provide even for the dead, that they may be buried in peace. But is it a matter of any moment in what place we lay the bodies of our deceased friends? Is it not all one, whether in the fields, or whether in our Golgotha's? No doubtless; for even the laws of our land are so justly severe against idolaters, that we suffer not the convicted to be buried in our ground which is dedicated to this use. Neither may they be permitted to mix with our dead, who have desperately become the murderers of themselves: but they lie in the roads, where a stake is set up, to give notice to passengers that they unnaturally hastened their own departure. It is a matter of some moment to us who are living, that we lay our deceased friends in a place convenient: for although it extendeth not to their knowledge, yet it redoundeth to their honour. When judas had given back the thirty pieces of silver, the price of him that was valued, Mat: 27 9 to the chief Priests that hired him, they took counsel together, and, seeing it was not fit to mix that money with the rest of their treasure because it was the price of blood, vers. 7. they bought the potter's field with it, vers. 6. to bury strangers. vers. 7. Thus they who would readily give a reward to a traitor, were not so ready to be charitable to deceased strangers, had not the price of him who died for all, been the unhallowed sum to purchase the field. When they met with that coin which was not for their use, with that they purchased an Akeldama for foreiners. But is it not all one in what part of the ground I bury my husband, so I lay his body in a place that is set apart for that purpose? Surely no: although it is equal to him, yet is it not to me. Although at the resurrection we shall meet again, at what distance soëver our graves shall be made; yet there is some reason we should be buried so near as we may that as our bodies were enjoined a mutual society in the time of life; so they might also sleep together in the silent dust. It is but just that one grave should receive the bodies of us, for whom one bed was designed upon earth; that as in our lives we were made one flesh, so after our deaths we should make one lump. When Barzillay was offered a favour from King David, and wooed to spend his time at the Court, he besought the King, saying, Let thy servant, I pray thee, turn back again, that I may die in mine own city, 2. Sam. 19.37. and be buried by the grave of my father, and of my mother. Friends have ever desired to lie by friends, that those especially who were knit together in blood & affection, might be joined together in their earth and ashes. In the cave of Machpelah which Abraham bought of Ephron for four hundred shekels of silver, Gen: 23.16. was buried both himself, c: 49.31. c. 50.13. Act. 5.10. and Sarah his wife. There lay Isaak, and Rebekah his wife: and there lay Leah, and jacob her husband. Though Saphira died by the judgement of God for the lie she had told; yet when she fell dead at Peter's feet and yielded up the ghost, the young men came in, and carried her forth, and buried her by her husband. It is therefore convenient that I choose a place for the burial of my husband, where (if so it may be) I myself may be laid. Convenient it is, but not absolutely necessary; for the souls shall not enjoy the less felicity for the remoter distance, and separation of the bodies: neither shall the bodies: either be sensible of the disjunction; or shall it retard their meeting at the general day. Although the bones of jacob were carried into the land of Canaan, Gen: 50.13. vers: 5. and buried in the caye of the field of Machpelah which Abraham bought, according as he had made his son joseph swear to him before his death: yet he had formerly buried his beloved Rachel in the way to Ephrah, c: 35.19. which is Bethlehem, and there jacob set a pillar upon her grave, which was called the pillar of Rachel's grave. vers: 20. When the children of Israel journied from Beeroth of the children of jaakan to Mosera, Deut: 10.6. Num: 20.1. there Aaron died, and there he was buried: where as Miriam his wife died in Kadesh, and was buried there: yea and Moses his brother the servant of the Lord died in the land of Moab; Deut: 34.5. vers: 6. and it is fayd that God himself buried him in a valley in the land of Moab, over against Beth-Peor: but no man knoweth of his sepulchre; peradventure lest the Israelites should have committed idolatry, and worshipped him for a God. Thus do I sit and muse about the burial of him whom so dear I loved. Yet me thinks I could most readily preserve him from the dust, if either it were in my power, or might bring me content. But go he must, and I must follow him. This narrow room of his coffin must be put in trust with his mouldering earth: and he who in his life time was entertained with variety of spacious chambers, must now securely sleep in the chamber of a grave. O how it grieveth me to see this effect of sin! Had not Adam fallen, my husband had not died. But oh he's dead; and since nor tears, nor sighs, nor groans, nor cries have power to recall him, it is therefore my duty, and it shall be my care to express my love to him in the rites of his funeral. Friends shall carry him; neighbours shall attend on him; and my tears shall embalm him. The Preacher shall be instructed in the virtue which adorned him, that so he may commend them to others for their due imitation. The hearers shall greedily attend to the praises of the dead; and not only acknowledge their truth, but contentedly wish like him to live, and like him to die. Now, o now another storm approacheth in mine eyes: for the company beginneth to approach my doors; and my neighbours and my friends are hastening to my house. But when they come let them not think to comfort me, lest they add to my grief while they vainly strive to conquer my passion. I cannot allow an intermission or forbearance of tears, lest I should appear unnatural. If I do not weep I did not love. O me thinks I could willingly weep, myself into a statue, that I might become his monument. It is the height of injustice to forbid my tears, since the delight of mine eyes is now to be carried to the place of oblivion. Me think's every thing seemeth to call for a tear, which is the object of a sense. Those bells which so mournfully accord in their tunes, invite my neighbours to come to the funeral: yet not to appear with empty eyes, unless they come to learn how to weep. These herbs, these strew, which lately were fresh and at ease in their beds, are willing to lie even under the feet of those that will mourn: and because they have no eyes themselves to weep us a tear, they lie to receive what shall drop from the mourners. These sprigs of Rosemary do call to my remembrance with what joy and delight they pleased me at my nuptials: but (lest I should forget the greater happiness of the marriage with the Lamb) even this herb which served at our wedding does attend at the funeral. O me thinks these sprigs have sad Rhetoric sitting on their leaves: for those drops of water which hang upon them, were once the blood of the fragrant flowers, and now are the tears of the drooping plants. S● ready were these sprigs to come when I desired them, that they slipped from their stems to attend these obsequies. These exotic perfumes which delight the sense, are willing to be burned, rather than the living shall be offended with the dead. These sable garments strike terror into the eye; and command the spectator to lend us a sigh. And what other lecture is read here, or taught, but God's decree of man's mortality? The chief speaker and Orator is he who hath now forgotten to speak: for the locking up of his senses, the silence of his tongue, and the coldness of his pale & frozen body have more force to prove the shortness of our lives, than the most eloquent strains of the best rhetorician. These bells assure me that my life is but a found, a noise, an air: these perfumes tell me that it is but a vapour: 1. Pet. 1 24. these herbs do teach me that flesh is as grass: and these tears, these early tears which so suddenly arise when my heart doth call, teach me mortality in their hasty falling. And who can choose but weep for the shortness of our lives? Who can forbear a tear at the funeral of a friend? It was a curse inflicted upon the wicked jews that they neither should be buried, nor yet lamented. They shall die of grievous deaths (saith the Prophet): jer. 16.4. they shall not be lamented; neither shall they be buried: but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth; and their carkeises shall be meat for the fowls of heaven, vers: 5. & for the beasts of the earth. For thus saith the Lord, Enter not into the house of mourning, neither go to lament nor bemoan them; for I have taken away my peace from this people, saith the Lord; even loving kindness, c: 25.33. and Ierusa●mercies. So the slain of judah, and jerusalem (saith the Prophet) shall not be lamented, neither gathered, nor buried: they shall be dung upon the ground. So it was threatened concerning jehojakim the son of josiah King of judah, saying, c: 22.18. They shall not lament for him, saying, Ah my brother, or ah sister: they shall not lament for him saying, ah Lord, or ah his glory. It was a judgement upon the Israelites, Amos 8.2. when the Lord said by the mouth of his Prophet, The end is come upon my people of Israel: vers. 3. and the songs of the temples shall be howl in that day, saith the Lord: there shall be many dead bodies in every place: they shall cast them forth with silence. Surely if ever nature had liberty to plead for the convenience, yea for the necessity of a tear, it may at this time command. Grace must, and most willingly shall have the chief predominance: but let nature have likewise it's qualified drops, so they grow not immoderate. Though my loss be the greatest to whom he was a husband; yet others may weep too, to whom he was a friend: Gen: 50.7. When joseph went to bury his father, than all the servant● of Pharaoh went with him, and the Elder● of his house, and all the Elders of the land o● Egypt: vers: 8. And all the house of joseph, and his brethren, vers: 10 and his father's house: And they came to the threshing floor of Atad, and there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation: and he made a mourning for his father seven days. Io: 11.31. When Lazarus was buried, and the jews saw Mary rise up hastily, and go out, they little imagined that she went to meet the Lord of life: but they followed her, saying, She goeth unto the grave to weep there. When her brother Lazarus was dead she wept, and her sister wept, and her friends the jews wept: and when Christ did see them all thus weeping, he was so fare from blaming them, vers. 35 2. Chr: 35.24. that he wept himself. When josiah was slain, his servants took him out of the chariot wherein he was wounded, and put him in the second chariot which he had, & they brought him to jerusalem: And he died, and was buried in one of the sepulchers of his fathers: and all judah and jerusalem mourned for josiah. When Samuel was dead, 1. Sam. 28.3. all Israel lamented him, and buried him in Ramah, in his own city. 1. King 13.29. When the old Prophet took up the carkeise of the man of God who had been slain by a Lion, he laid it upon the Ass, and brought it back; and came to the itty to mourn, and to bury him: vers: 30 And he laid his carkeise in his own grave, and they mourned over him, saying, Alas my brother. The children of Israel wept for Moses in the ●laines of Moab thirty days: Deut: 34.8. 1 Sam: 15.35. Though Sa●uel took his leave, & departed from Saul, ●nd come no more to see him until the day of ●is death; nevertheless Samuel mourned for Saul. Iud: 11 39 vers: 40 Though Iephthah's daughter had been lead and buried long before, yet it was a custom in Israel that the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of jephthah ●he Gileadite four days in a year. When Stephen was stoned, Act: 8.2. devout men carried him to his burial, and made great lamentation over him. 2. Chr: 32.33. When Hezekiah slept with his fathers, he was buried in the chiefest of the sepulchers of the sons of David; and all judah, and the inhabitants of jerusalem did him honour at his death. Lu: 7.38. When Mary Magdalene stood weeping at the feet of my Saviour, and did wash his feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head, and brought an Alabaster box of ointment, vers: 37 and anointed him with the ointment; vers: 38 he was so fare from dis-liking it in her, that he checked his disciples who had indignation at the act, and therefore said, Mat: 26 8. To what purpose is this waist? Yea he reproved them, and said unto them, Why trouble ye the Woman? vers: 10 For she hath wrought a good work upon me: vers: 12 For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it for my burial, She hath done what she could: Mar: 14 8. she is com● afore hand to anoint my body to the burying. Here, I find, was ointment to embalm him; and here were also tears at his funeral: and yet so fare was Christ from blaming her for her tears, that he not only decreed the publishing of this act through the world where the gospel should be preached; Mat. 26 13. & that for a memorial of her: but he likewise upbraided Simon with the tears of the sinner, Lu: 7.44. and said unto him, I entered into thine house, and thou gavest me no water for my feet; but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head, vers: 47 etc. Wherefore her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much. Weep than I may upon this sad occasion: yea and weep may my friends too. Tears are as proper at a funeral, as smiles at a wedding. We have two marriages; the first whereof is to living dust; the last to the cold, and silent earth. At the former we rejoice, for it was an institution of God before man had sinned: Gen: 2.24. at the latter we weep, for it is the effect of sin. We cloth ourselves in delightful colours when we celebrate the former: but our blacks at the latter are our wedding garments. The Rosemary is served about at each: the gloves and the favours attend at each: the wine, and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each: we go to the church for the consummation of each: only here is the difference, that at the one we rejoice, but at the other we mourn. Every guest that is willing to comply with the pre●ent occasion, must as well be sad at this, as ●e merry at the other. Weep we may, and weep we must; especially myself who have ●ost myself. But yet let me take heed that I offend not in my tears, lest that which is my duty be turned into a crime. I must especially take heed that I err not in the cause of these laments: for if I griere at the happiness of him that is departed, I discover an envy rather than affection. If I grieve for the loss which myself sustaineth, I must take heed that I wrong not my confidence in God. I may not offend in the number of my tears; for if I weep too much, I may forfeit my hope; or at least I may occasion those that behold me to think that I doubt of the salvation of the dead. Weep I may, and weep I must: but for fear lest I offend in these my tears, in my earnest prayers I will beg that they may be sanctified. To my God will I go for his direction and assistance: and in this storm of my tears I will shelter myself under his protection; and humbly will I tender my petitions, and say. The Prayer. O Almighty and everliving Lord God, thou who knowest whereof we are made, Ps. 103.14. and who remember'st that we are but dust: give me grace (I besiech thee) to be thankful unto thee for all thy mercies: more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life; and for affording me the means in peace to bring him to his longest home. Lord so arm me with patience in this time of affliction, that I may not offend thee in my want, or excess of mourning. Gen: 3.19. Dust we are; and to dust we shall return. From the earth we came; and to the earth we must go. This way which thy servant must now be disposed of, is the way wherein thou wilt one day lead me also to my rest. O prepare me for the time of my great account; Eccl: 12 7. that so when my dust shall return to the earth as it was, my spirit may return unto thee who didst give it. Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memory, that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's womb, job: 1.21. so naked shall I thither return again; I may wholly endeavour, and seek to be clothed with the righteousness of thy Son. Rom: 6 4. With him thou hast been graciously pleased that by baptism I should be buried into death: grant also, good God, that like as he was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternal Father; even so I also may walk in newness of life. Make me ever think upon death which will seize on me; judgement which will examine me; and hell which would devour me; that heaven may receive me. Let this lifeless carkeise put me in mind of the malice of sin which is the cause of death; and of that sentence which immediately followeth this death. Thou seest, o Lord, how unwilling I am to part from this frozen, and earthy lump. Thou knowest how deep the departure of my joy doth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart. O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow, Ps. 119.96. that seeing now I see that all things do certainly come to an end, I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end. Is: 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blackness, and hast clothed me at this time, who am but earth & ashes, with these mourning weeds; grant that by these I may be instructed to shun the frail and fading vanities of the earth; and strive for that Kingdom which shall endure for ever. Be pleased to speak peace to my troubled mind; that so though nature hath power to enforce me to weep, yet grace may prevail to moderate my mourning. Ps: 106 9 Ps: 104.9. O thou who didst once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might pass through them as on dry land; thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not pass over, nor turn again to cover the earth; be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction, and put such a bound to these my tears, that they may not drown this earth of my feeble body; but may give place to confidence, and comfort in thy mercy. Ps. 114.3 jordane. did yield to thy command, & was driven back: so drive thou back the flood of my tears, that they swell not above the banks of moderation and hope. Let the grave of the deceased put me in mind of the tomb of my blessed Redeemer; that so when I am bowed down with sorrow at the burial of this earth, I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ. He hath plucked out the sting which sin had formerly given unto death: 1. Cor. 15.56. vers. 57 o let me ever be thankful unto thee my God, who givest us victory through jesus Christ. Give me an assured belief of the general resurrection, that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave, I may rejoice in the certainty of his rising again. Ps. 25.17. Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged; yet bring thou me out of all my fears. Ps: 94.19. In the midst of the sorrows which I have in my heart, let thy comforts, o God, refresh my soul. Lord make me die to sin, and live by grace, that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh, I may dwell with thee in those eternal mansions of perfect happiness, through jesus Christ my Lord, and only Saviour. Amen. subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT. Tears of a woman in the state of widowhood. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. BEcause jerusalem had forsaken the Lord, was was gone backward, Ier: 15.6. vers. 8. Therefore (said my God) their widows are increased to me above the sand of the seas. vers. 6. He who was weary of repenting, was not weary of destroying: and yet the judgements which fell upon the jews were easier to the stronger, then to the weaker sex. The males had a period set to their earthly troubles, when the sword devoured them: but the poor females were left alive, destitute both of the comfort, and society of their husbands. Death is a judgement mixed often with mercy, because it finisheth our earthly sufferances: whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrows is so much the more burdensome, because not quickly ended. Those widows of the jews were left alive, and therein they were more punished than their destroyed husbands. Groans and sighs had flown from the slain at the hour of their departure; but their dead trunks were as insensible of grief or melancholy, as the earth which enclosed them. Yet the distressed widows were left to lament; and their punishment herein was greater than their husbands, even because their torments survived the slain. That time was doubtless a time of horror, when the women would willingly have slept by their husbands in their beds of earth, and would have accounted it mercy to meet with a murderer; but yet were denied the hope of their destruction. Ps: 94.6 The Psalmist saith that the wicked slay the widow: but in jerusalem as it seemeth, the judgement was so great, that though the widows on their knees would have begged to be slain; yet either not men enough were left for their purpose; or the men that were left were not wicked enough to satisfy their desites. O what miseries do fall upon us that are widows, who are left to the world to complain of our losses; & yet in our complaints we are so fare from obtaining what we desire, that we cannot obtain so much as to die! Our estate is despised amongst the Sons of men, unless either our riches, or beauty, or some other by and sinister respect can purchase us a comforter. The widows that are poor are commonly neglected: and those that are rich, are but valued for their wealth. We are exposed to the slander of every tongue; to the scorn and derision of every enemy; and to the cruëlty and tyranny of every oppressor. job. 24.21. The wicked who evil intreateth the barren that beareth not, doth no good to the widow also. We are mocked by the wives; neglected by our neighbours; cozened by our visitants; and even in this our time of greatest need, our pretended friends are not willing to counsel us. So great, so weighty, so grievous are our afflictions, that we not only are bereft of our joys among men; but also we seem to be forsaken even of God. Else why should we be ranked with the profane, and the harlots? Why should the high Priest be forbidden by God himself, saying, A widow, Lev: 21 14. or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife. Thus are we subject to the contempt of men; and may seem to be abhorred likewise of our maker. Our solitary lives are full of cares, and various perturbations. If we have riches, we are apt to be deluded by false, though professed lovers. If we are poor, we are neglected by those from whom we expect relief; and our friends are commonly as dead unto us as are our husbands. If we have children, they are apt to sleight, or disobey us, through the absence of him whom they more did fear. If we have none, as our trouble is the less, so our hopes of relief are likewise the less: for whereas the cries of the fatherless may prevail with the charitable, the want of those orphans makes every one neglect us. O what calamities, and miseries attend us women! We are weak and simple by the condition of our sex: and yet when we have husbands to instruct & assist us, we can have no assurance of the continuance of their lives. We are exposed to sorrows at every turn. In sorrows we conceive; in furrows we travail; in sorrows we nurse our tender infants; and are made but as servants to them in their minorities: and yet, as if all these vexations were too few for our deserts; we are tortured and racked with the death of our husbands. If we weep, we are frequently rather scorned then pitied, because it is imagined that we have tears at command. If we talk, we are apt to be censured either guilty of levity, boldness, or simplicity. The joy we received in the society of our husbands is seconded with contempt when once they are dead; as if it were a sin in us to suffer them to die, whereas we would willingly have laid down our lives to have preserved theirs That little wisdom or discretion which we have learned of our husbands, is styled cunning, when once they are dead. Thus even our virtues are subject to reproach; and our persons and conditions to the obloquy of the world. But is this all the comfort allotted us in our misery? Hath God forgotten us? Should the world thus disdain us? Assuredly our great afflictions, and our loud complaints must needs be entertained in the ears of him who is our merciful God. Though man be deaf, yet God will hear. Yes doubtless: we who so seriously bemoan the losses we sustain, shall yet find in the Scripture that the Almighty is our friend. If I do but loake into those sacred Oracles, I shall presently behold the goodness of my Creator. The greater our losses are, the diviner are our comforts: the more grievous our afflictions are, the more ample are our joys. We are still in the hands of our gracious God, although we are bereft of our earthly husbands. Our comforts are more, our privileges are greater than ever they were while our guides were alive: for the Lord taketh notice of us; he relieveth us in our wants, yea and sometimes miraculously comforteth us in our greatest dejections; men are commanded to help us; the rich must lend to us; the advocates must plead for us; the judges must countenance us; the righteous must visit us; none may afflict, or oppress us; we may rejoice with our neighbours; yea and we have more freedom to enter into any religious vow then formerly was granted us. O here now are garments of gladness for the spirit of heaviness; Is: 61.3 for God is our protector, and man must be our comforter. example 1 1. The Lord taketh notice of us: for so I find by my gracious Redeemer. When he sat over against the treasury, Mar: 12 41. vers: 42 and beheld how the people cast money into it; and many that were rich cast in much; And there came a certain poor widow, and threw in two mites which make a farthing: vers: 43 He called unto him his disciples, and said unto them, Verily I say unto you that this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasure: vers: 44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living. example 2 2. God relieveth us, as well as beholdeth us: Ps: 146 9 for so saith the Psalmist; The Lord preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow. 2 King. 4.1. This the poor widow of the son of the Prophet's was sensible of: for when she cried unto Elisha, saying, Thy servant my husband is dead; and thou knowest that thy servant did fear the Lord: and the creditor is come to take unto him my two Sons to be bondmen. vers: 2. Then Elisha said unto her, What shall I do for thee? Tell me, what hast thou in thine house? And she said, thine handmaid hath not any thing in the house save a pot of oil. Then he said, vers: 3. Borrow thee vessels abroad of all thy neighbours, even empty vessels: borrow not a few. vers: 5. So she went from him, and did as he commanded her: & when all the vessels miraculously were filled with oil, Elisha said unto her, Go sell the oil, vers: 7. and pay thy debts, and live thou and thy children of the rest. This the widow of Zarephath also found true to her comfort: for when she had but an hand-full of meal in a barrel, 1. King 17.12. and a little oil in a cruse; and went to gather two sticks, that she might give in and dress it for her and her son, that they might eat it and die: even than Elijah the Prophet told her, saying, Thus saith the Lord of Israël, vers: 14 The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that he Lord sendeth rain upon the earth. example 3 3. The Lord not only relieveth us in our wants, but also he succoureth us in our losses, and comforteth us in our sorrows. Lu: 7.12 When. my Saviour came nigh to the gate of the city Naim, and behold there was a dead man carried out, the only Son of his mother, and she was a widow, and much people of the city was with her: even then, vers: 13 vers: 14 when the Lord saw her he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not: And he came and touched the beer, and they that bore him stood still; and he said, Young man I say unto thee arise: vers: 15 And he that was dead, sat up, & began to speak; And he delivered him to his mother. example 4 4. The same Lord hath likewise commanded men to help us. Thus (though Eliphaz accuseth job, job. 22 9 c: 31.16. vers: 22 saying, Thou hast sent widows away empty, yet) job himself saith, If I have withheld the poor from their desire, or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail; then let mine arm fall off from my shoulder-blade, and mine arm be broken from the bone. Thus when joab did seek to incline the heart os David to fetch home Absalon, who had stead from him upon his kill of his brother Amnon, he had no other way to effect his desires but by suborning the widow of Tekoah: And she came to the King, 2. Sam: 14.4. vers: 5. and fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help o King. And the King said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead. etc. And by these means getting audience of the King who pitied her as a widow, she prevailed at length for Absalom's pardon. Thus though the un-just judge, which is mentioned in the Gospel, Lu: 18.4. vers: 5. did neither fear God, nor regard man; yet when a widow troubled him, he said, I will avenge her of her adversary, lest by her continual coming she weary me. example 5 5. In our wants we may borrow, and the rich must lend to us; yea and they are forbidden to use us with cruelty, or severity. They must not so much as take a pledge of us. The Israëlites were forbidden it by God himself; for so saith the Lord, Deut. 24.17. Thou shalt not pervert the ●…dgment of the stranger, nor of the fatherless; ●or take a widow's raiment to pledge. Yea and ●mong those that remove the landmarks; job. 24.2. that violently take away the flocks, and feed thereof; vers. 3. and those that drive away the Ass of the fatherless, job doth rank and reckon them who take the widowes ox for a pledge. example 6 6. Moreover every one must be an advocate to plead for us. Among other duties required of judah, the Lord not only commandeth that she should judge the fatherless, Is: 1.17 but also that she should plead for the Widow: and he therefore sendeth his wrath, and showreth his vengeance upon them, because they judge not the fatherless; vers. 23 neither doth the cause of the widow come unto them. example 7 7. The judges are also commanded to defend us, and to countenance our causes. Every one must be a judge to the distressed widow: therefore the law runneth peremptorily, Deut: 27.19. Cursed be he that perverteth the judgement of the stranger, fatherless, and widow; and all the people shall say, Amen. example 8 8. The righteous must visit us; for the Apostle saith that pure religion, Iam: ● 27. and un-defiled before God and the father is this, to visit 〈◊〉 fatherless and widows in their affliction, etc. example 9 9 None may afflict, or oppress us; for God himself giveth the charge, Ex. 22.22. saying, 〈◊〉 shall not afflict any widow. Again, by 〈◊〉 Prophet thus speaketh the Lord of host saying, Zech. 7 10. Is. 10.2 Oppress not the widow. Woe unto the● (saith the Prophet Isaiah) that take away the right from the poor of my people, that widowe● may be their prey. example 10 10. And lest we should be overborne with sorrows, and lost in our griefs, we have authority even from God to be cheerful, and to rejoice. Deut. 16.14. So saith the Lord; Thou shalt rejoin in thy feast, thou, and thy Son, and thy daughter, and thy manservant, and thy maydservant, & the Levite, & the stranger, & the fatherless, & the widow, that are within thy gates. example 11 11. Yea and we have more freedom to enter into any religious vow, then formerly was granted us; yea then when we were under the tuition of our indulgent parents. Though a virgin, by the law might not fulfil her vow, if it stood not with the liking, Num. 30.5. and pleasure of her father; yet the Lord himself doth ordain, saying, Every vow of a widow, as well as of her that is divorced, vers. 9 wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her. Saint Paul also treating of our liberty to tie ourselves in a second vow of nuptial duties, saith, The Wife is bound by the law, as long as her husband liveth: but if her husband be dead, 1. Cor. 7.39. she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. Seeing then the Lord is so merciful and gracious unto us who have lost the content and comfort of our guides and directours (provided that we are widows indeed, and desolate trusting in God, 1. Tim. 5.5. & continuing in supplications and prayers night and day) why sit I thus disconsolate, as if I neither had right to the society of Christians, nor were regarded by my maker? Whence flow these tears? Whence arise these sighs & sobs of a troubled mind? Though I have lost my husband, yet still I have my God. He is and will be mine, so long as I remain and continue his. What though I miss my head, my deceased Lord, my dead husband in every place? What though he sitteth not with me at the table, and therefore I sigh? What though I find a miss of him in my sole and single life, and therefore I grieve? What though I want him to instruct me in the ways of goodness, and to provide for the affairs also concerning this life, and therefore mourn? I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved, and I may lament the loss of my instructor and my comforter: but if I grieve too much, I shall but discover that there was folly in my love, and that there is despair in my tears. He was not mine, but God's; and with him he liveth. It must be my comfort that he lived so well while he was upon earth, that I may hope assuredly that he's a saint in heaven: and it must be my confidence that he is only gone a little before, to that place of happiness whither I shall follow him. He who lent me him, can furnish me with another; or else give me content with this single life. He was not my choice, but God's. If I ponder upon my loss with sorrow and grief; I must yet think upon his advantage with joy and content. I will therefore reverence his memory without too many sobs; and I will be thankful to my God, because he once did lend me so good a director. I will (by his blessing) live a widow with content and quietness, until he shall be pleased either to call me again to the state of wedlock, or else free me from this sinful and troublsome world. If I marry no more, the greater command shall I retain of myself. I am now at liberty to employ my time in religious duties; whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man, even my religion itself (without the mercy of my God) might receive some prejudice. But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring me again into obedience to another; I will besiech him so to direct me in my choice, that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter; but with my prayers and tears I will beg of the Lord to guide, and direct me. Thus that I may live in the love of my God, and that he may always overshadow me with his blessings; jer. 31.32. and be a husband unto me, as he promised to be unto judah and Israël, I will humble myself at his footstool, and pray unto him, and say. The Prayer. BLessed God, thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldst be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband: Is. 54.5 be pleased to look upon the low estate of a pensive widow. Thou knowest how irksome, and full of furrows this solitary life is: thou viewest my sad, and disconsolate condition. O be thou unto me both a husband and a comforter; that in the multitude of my sorrows which I have in my heart, thy comforts, o Lord, Ps. 94.19. may refresh my soul. It is thy promise that, Prov. 15.25. though thou wilt destroy the house of the proud, yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow. Though the wicked do no good to the widow; job. 24.21. yea though they stay the widow, and murder the fatherless: Ps. 94.6. Ps. 68.5 yet thou thyself hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherless, and defend the cause of the widow; even thou, o God, who dwellest in thine holy habitations. job. 22.9. O send not then a poor and distressed widow away empty: but be pleased to be my G●… my guide, and my counsellor. Make me 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my ways; to rely upon thee i● all my sorrows; to sue unto thee in all m● wants; Eph. 4.24. Ps. 89.22. and firmly to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousness, and true holiness. Let not th● oppressor exact upon me; nor the Son 〈◊〉 wickedness do me harm: but do tho● always preserve me under the shadow of thy wings. Be thou my director in all my ways, that whether I shall continue in this stated of widowhood, or be ordered by thee to change my condition, and be joined again in holy wedlock; I may sue for thy counsel, and be seconded with thy blessing. But so long as I shall lead this single life let me remain contented: Lu. 2.37. and make me like Anna the Prophetess, not departing from thy temple, but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day. Be thou unto me in a more excellent manner than was job unto the widows, causing my heart to sing for joy; job. 29.13. that so though mine afflictions are many, and my desolate condition be full of perturbations, and anxious thoughts; yet I may so cleave unto thee, that I may have comfort in thee whilst I live upon earth; and be hereafter admitted into the society of thy saints and Angels, there to reign with thee world without end, through jesus Christ my only Lord, and Saviour. Amen. subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT. Tears of an Orphan at the death of her father. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. AMong other abominations which jerusalem was guilty of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother. Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents? Can nature become so silent in children, that they should forget the honour due to proge●itours? Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian, it needs must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers, that did beget him. Alas I feel a desire of expressing such an affection, which I would be as ready to manifest in real expression: but (ay me) the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duty is snatched from me. O● he that begat me is dead: he that took ca● to breed me; he that supplied my wants; b● that instructed me in religion; he that defen●… me from injuries; he whose labour & indstrie was chiefly employed for the good of me his boloved child. Prov. 4 3. I was, oh I may say I was, my father's child, tender, and only beloved of my mother. But now where, o where is that man of affection? Where is that father who so earnestly loved me; who so dear affects me? Sick he was: dead he is. But was my duty to him correspondent any way to his care of me? Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service, Gen: 48 1. & obedience? Did I visit him in his sickness, as joseph did his dying father When one could him saying, Behold thy father i● sick, he took with him his two Sons Manass●… & Ephraim, and went and visited him. This visitation is a Christian duty, and not to be denied even to our enemies, much less to out parents. 2. King 13.14. When Elisha was fallen sick of his sickness whereof he died, & joash the King of Israël went down unto him; he wept over his face, & said, O my father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. Less than this I could not do: for the Prophet was a stranger to the blood of the King; and yet the King both visited, and lamented the Prophet. Had I been sick and my father in health, ●how would he have wept, and grieved! How would he have repaired to Physicians; ●ought for my recovery; bought it at rates ●en beyond his estate; & rather have chosen 〈◊〉 have led his days in penury and want, ●en I should have died for want of cost! ●nd I died and he sur-vived, he would have ●ourned for me many days; 1. Chr. 7.22. as Ephraim did 〈◊〉 his children that were slain by the men 〈◊〉 Gath: or (like jacob, when he heard ●he fall report that joseph was slain) he ●ould have mourned, Gen. 37 34. vers. 35 and have refused to be ●…forted; and peradventure he would have ●…d, I will go down into the grave unto my child, mourning. Thus, o thus my father would have grieved for me. Yea, if mischief should have befallen me, he would have been as ready to have said as jacob did concerning Benjamin, c: 42.30. My grey hairs shall be brought down with sorrow to the grave. But how did I deserve this love at the hand of my father? 'Tis true that nature and religion did teach him to be indulgent: but did both, or either of them persuade me to my duty? Did I honour him according to the commandment of my God? Ex. 20.12. Lev: 19 3. Did I fear him according to the law divine? Did I love him, and that entirely; and would I have been as forward to express my love and respect unto him, as Rahab (though a harlot) did manifest hers, when she convenanted with the spies, & 〈◊〉 eluded, Ios: 2.13. saying, Ye shall save alive my father my mother, and my brethren, and my sisters, 〈◊〉 all that they have; and deliver our lives 〈◊〉 death? Would I have been ready to 〈◊〉 press my love and respect unto him (if 〈◊〉 had required, and opportunity and mea● had been offered) as David did to his ●…rens? 1. Sam. 22.3. He went to Mizpeh of Moab, and 〈◊〉 unto the King of Moab. Let my father, I 〈◊〉 thee; and my mother come forth and be with y●… till I know what God will do for me. 〈◊〉 ready thus to comfort him, thus to relieve 〈◊〉 if need had required, and thus to provide 〈◊〉 him to the uttermost of my power? Did never departed from him at any time, before had craved both his leave, and his blessing When Elijah passed by Elisha as he 〈◊〉 ploughing, 1. King 19.19. vers. 20 and cast his mantle upon him, he le● the oxen indeed; but he ran after Elij●… and said, Let me I pray thee, kiss my father 〈◊〉 my mother; and then I will follow thee. Ye● rather (on the contrary) instead of honouring him, Mat: 10 35. Mich: 7 6. was I not at variance against him? Was I not apt to dis-honour my father, and to rise up against my mother? Instead of labouring to relieve and comfort him, was I not more ready to say unto him as did the Prodigal in the Gospel, Lu: 15.12. Father give me the portion of the goods that falleth unto me? Certainly had not he sinned, he could not have died: and had not I sinned, he could not have been seperated ●m me. My neglect of my duty did move 〈◊〉 Almighty to take him from me; that 〈◊〉 I may at least honour the memory of him ●…w he is gone, whom peradventure I did 〈◊〉 truly reverence and obey while he was 〈◊〉. Now, o now is that time of heaviness ●…en upon me, wherein I must lament 〈◊〉 Zion, and cry, Lam: 5.3. I am an orphan and ●…erlesse; my mother is a widow. Now my ●…forter, my defender is gone, I cannot ●…ose but suspect that even Christians will ●ome as bad as were the jews who judged 〈◊〉 the cause, the cause of the fatherless; Ier: 5.28. and yet 〈◊〉 prospered. Now the curse which the P●…lmist prophetically laid upon his slanderous enemy, I daily fear will happen unto ●nee; Ps: 109.12. even that none will favour this fatherless ●hild. Hence flow my tears: hence arise ●hese mists of sighs, and these clouds of arrow. My father is gone; he's departed; he's ●…ead. O what shall I do to lament enough ●…e loss I sustain? How shall I sufficiently ●…ourne the departure of him, whom all my ●…bbes and cries can never ? Weep I ●ust: I cannot choose but weep. Nature commands it, and I hope religion will not ●orbid it. Though David complained that ●hee was forgotten as a dead man out of mind; Ps: 31.12. yet he could not possibly mean that the dead were forgotten by their sur-viving offspring. O Noah: the eyes of orphans are full of tears when they call to mind their once indulgent fathers: yea and in every teare ●e●meth to be a reflection of the deceased parent. Our laments are not only enforced by the greatness of our losses, and the strength of our love to our departed fathers: but even by religion itself which gives us a kind of encouragement to hope that in their moderation they have authority from God. Deut: 21.11. The captive woman among the people of God who was fair and beautiful, and whom an Israëlite desired to have to his wife, was to be brought home to his house: vers. 12 and then she was to shave her head, and to pair her nails, and to put the raiment of her captivity from off her, vers. 13 and to remain in his house: but first she ought to bewail her father & her mother a full month before the Israelite might go in unto her; & he be her husband, and she his wife. Me thinks I could willingly yield to be thus fare a slave, as to mourn for my father: for it is some content to me in my losses to have yet the society of my tears. Although among the jews the very touching of the dead did make the living unclean; yet among Christians we have no such laws. O how would I now go kiss his cold and wann cheekes, and weep over his shrouded body; yea and wash that face so full of paleness with my warm and willing tears; if all that I could do would restore him to life again! I would not stick to touch him; yea to kiss him: and when my lips would be weary my tears should softly court his hollow and closed eyes. A very jew might have done thus much, who lived under the bondage of the ceremeniall law: yea a Priest himself was allowed these acts so natural and pious. Though touching the Nazarites the command was strict which the Lord delivered unto Moses, Num. 6 1. vers. 2. saying, Say unto the children of Israel, when either man or woman shall separate themselves to vow a vow of a Nazarite, to separate themselves unto the Lord; vers. 6. all the days that he separateth himself unto the Lord he shall come at no dead body; vers. 7. he shall not make himself unclean for his father, or for his mother; for his brother, or for his sister when they die; because the consecration of his God is upon his head: Yet whereas the law said, Eze: 44 25. The Priests shall come at no dead person to defile themselves, it ran with this exception, But for father, or for mother, or for son, or for daughter, for brother, or for sister that hath had no husband they may defile themselves. And again, concerning the common people the law provideth, saying, Num: 19.16. Whosoever toucheth one that is slain with the sword in the open fields, or a dead body, or a bone of a man, or a grave, shall be unclean: but the time of his uncleanness was to continue but seven days. That law hath now no power to oblige us who are under the Gospel. I may touch my dead parent, and embrace him, yea and kiss him, at least in my thoughts when I cannot come to his body. And so I will: and if there remain any uncleanness in my cogitations, I will purify, I will wash it away with the bath of my tears. Although my sorrows cannot call him from the grave, yet they have power both to discover mine affection, and to satisfy my desires. Heb: 11 35. In ancient times women had their dead raised to life again. This indeed is too much for me to expect: yet it will not be too much for me to mourn with those women, who were afterward thus comforted. But then I must be just in my mourning. As my love may lawfully be showed in my tears, so must my religion be manifested in my moderation. It was a curse upon the jews which the Prophet pronounced, when he said, Men shall not tear themselves for them in mourning, jer. 16.7. to comfort them for the dead; neither shall men give them the cup of consolation to drink for their father, or for their mother. I must not exceed the bounds of modesty in my cries & lamentations; but I must drink rather of the cup of consolation, and hearken to the advice and counsel of my comforters. Nature indeed may be seen in a tear, and heard in a sigh: but if those tears be too many, or those sighs too frequent or too loud, my very sorrows may be sinful for my want of patience. He for whom I grieve is better than myself, and his condition is full of joy and delight: why then should I mourn too excessively as if he were lost; & why should I grieve too immoderately, as if I despaired of a father? He is gone to a place where he is freed from sorrows, and can die no more: only I am on earth, in a valley of tears: but I shall have a time to die too, and be gathered unto him. In heaven (saith Saint john) there shall be no more death, Reu. 21.4. neither sorrow, nor crying; neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away. My Redeemer saith that they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, Luc. 20 35. & the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage: neither can they die any more; vers. 36 for they are equal unto the Angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection. Why then should I lament for him who needeth not my sorrows, and my tears are but a fruitless disturbance of myself? If I am troubled at the loss of a friend so dear, I must rather labour to be beloved of my God who is so good. I shall one day learn with holy job, job. 17 14. to say to corruption Thou art my father; and to the worm. Thou art my mother, and my sister. There is yet something earthly therefore which I shall acknowledge a parent: but I must take heed that nothing upon earth doth make me an idolater. The house of Israel was once so sottish as to say to a stock, Ier: 2.27. Thou art my father, & to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth. This were a stupid madness in me if I should so dis-honour the memory of my father, as to make the timber succeed him in my reverence. But more impious it would prove, if I should reject my heavenly father; and instead of him I should honour (as Israel did) a stock, or a stone. The greater that my loss is in my deceased parent, the more must be my obedience to the father of lights. jam. 1.17. Heb. 12 9 He who is and must be the father of my spirit did lend unto me for a time the father of my flesh. He hath also taken from me my natural parent, that my thoughts may be ever fixed upon him with whom he dwelleth. If my trust be in God my comforts will abound; my sorrows will decrease. If my name be written among the righteous, my share shall be equal to theirs in the protection of my God. He hath ever been merciful to them that were fatherless, so that they relied on his providence, and served him with faithfulness. Ps. 27.10. Ps. 68.5 When my father and my mother forsake me (saith the Psalmist) than the Lord will take me up: a father of the fatherless is God in his holy habitation. O that I might have the honour to be his child, that so I might justly call him father! O that I could truly say unto him, Thou art my father, my God, Ps. 89.26. Is. 63.16. jer. 3.19. 2. Cor. 6.18. and the rock of my salvation! O that I could faithfully say, Thou, o Lord, art my father, my Redeemer; thy name is from everlasting! O that I could call him my father, and not turn away from him! His mercies are great: his promises are full of comfort. I will be a father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters saith the Lord Almighty. O what shall I do that I may be sure to be adopted into the number of his children? Alas as I am I have but little hope of it: for he is pure, but I am unclean: but I will wash myself with my tears of repentance, and beseech his Son to cleanse me with his blood. He is righteous, but I am sinful: but I will confess my wickedness, Ps. 38.18. and be sorry for my sins; and then I am sure he will abundantly pardon. Lord, though I have been thine enemy, thou canst make me thy friend: though I have hated thee, thou canst incline me to love thee: though I have been rebellious, thou canst make me thy child. O be pleased to hearken to the intercession of mine advocate pleading for me: to the intercession of thy Christ who was obedient to thee: to the intercession of my jesus who was crucified for me. In him be reconciled unto me; for I am well assured that like as a father pitieth his children, Ps: 103 13. so thou Lord dost pity them that fear thee. This, o this is the way where in I must walk. Thus, yea only thus shall I have a father both dead and alive. He who is dead shall not b● immoderately bewailed, because he that is ever living shall wipe the tears from mine eyes, Mine exchange shall be full of advantage. For him who was willing to help me, yet was not able; for him who loved me, but imperfectly; and left me irresistably, I shall have a father whose will cannot be opposed; whose power no creature is able to resist; whose love is in perfection; and who is not subject either to change, Dan: 7.9. Ps: 90.2. Ps: 22.9 or die. He is the ancient of days: he is God from everlasting, and world without end. If I could say with David, Thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breast, as well as I can say with him, Thou art he that took me out of my mother's womb: vers. 10 if I could say that thou art my God from my mother's belly, as well as I can say that I was cast upon thee from the womb: if I could say that I had always served thee; then should my praise be of thee continually, Ps: 71.6 and then should I be safe under the shadow of thy wings. Hos: 14 3. Ashur shall not save us (saith Israel); we will not ride upon horses; neither will we say any more to the work of our hands Ye are our God's; for in thee, o God, the fatherless findeth mercy. In God do the fatherless find mercy? Ps: 35.14. Why then do I how down myself thus heavily, mourning for my father, whereas I am assured (if I serve and obey the righteous Lord) that when my father and my mother forsake me, Ps: 27.10. than the Lord will take me up? He that is dead was but the weak, though the loving instrument to bring me to life: but he that is living, yea and liveth for ever and ever, is the God both of power and mercy: he therefore for ever shall be my father. Mal: 2.10. Have we not all one father? Saith the Prophet, Hath not one God created us? Yes, yes; he is a father to all by creation: but he will not be a father to all by regeneration, Lu: 12.32. His flock is but little, his children are not many: I will therefore strive to be one of the smallest number, for those alone shall inherit salvation. His mercies were ever great to the godly: his compassions never failed the fatherless, if they honoured him. When David was promised that he should have a Son, even than the Lord did also promise to be a father unto him. 1. Ch● 17.13. I will be his father (saith the Lord) and he shall be my Son: I will not take my mercy away from him, as I took it from him that was before thee. But what shall I do to gain his protection? How shall I persuade him to call me his child? If I love the memory of my father more than I love him, than I cannot possibly be worthy of him: for so saith my Saviour, Mat: 10 37. He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me. I will therefore strive to honour my God with the strength of my love, in heart, and in soul: and that I may the better do it, I will imitate my dead father in all that was just and righteous in him; but whereinsoever he failed I will decline his steps. 1 King. 22.52 Ahaziah. was plagued because he did evil in the sight of the Lord, and walked in the way of his father and of his mother. 2. Chr: 22.3. He walked in the way of the house of Ahab; for his mother was his counsellor to do wickedly. It is not the loss of a parent which can prevail for a blessing upon the child; unless in the stead of him that was earthly, he be made a father who is Lord of heaven. He looketh not on our afflictions with the eye of compassion, unless we look up to him with the eye of faith and devotion. Our miseries are but judgements unless we amend, and do but prophesy unto us a destruction at hand. When jeroboam was fatherless he was called to the congregation, 1. King. 12.20. c: 11.26. and they made him King over Israel: but he whose hand at first was lifted against the Crown, and not content with that, did afterwards put it forth against the man of God; c: 13.4. had it justly dried up, so that he could not pull it in again unto him. Thus the loss of an earthly father could not protect a wicked orphan: c: 14.9. but he who did evil above all that were before him, and had gone and made other Gods and molten images to provoke the Lord to anger, and had cast the Lord behind his back; even upon his house was evil to be brought. vers. 10 The Lord will cut off (saith the text) from jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel; and will take away the remnant of the house of jeroboam as a man taketh away dung till it be all gone. But on the contrary I find that unto the godly a father of the fatherless, Ps: 68.5 and a judge of the widows is God in his holy habitation. 1. King. 7.13. vers. 14 Hiram the Son of a widow, of the tribe of Naptali, whose father was a man of Tyre, the same was filled with wisdom, and understanding, and cunning to work all works in brass, and was therefore sent for by King Solomon to build his house. Gen: 25 11. Est: 2.7 After the death of Abraham it is said that the Lord blessed his Son Isaak. After the death of Esther's father, Mordecai the jew took her; (she being his uncle's daughter) for she had neither father nor mother. He took her for his own daughter; and afterward the Lord so blessed the orphan, that she came to sit upon the royal throne, c: 7.3. vers: 17 Ps: 10.14. and to be the preserver of her nation. Thus the poor who commit themselves to God do find assuredly that he is a helper of the fatherless. He executeth their judgement: so saith Moses; Deut: 10.18. The Lord doth execute the judgement of the fatherless. By Moses also he forbiddeth the people, saying, Ye shall not afflict any widow, Ex: 22.22. or fatherless child. job accuseth his pretended friends of an high offence, when he chargeth them, job. 6.27. Is: 10.2 saying, Ye over-whelme the fatherless. By the Prophet Isaiah a woe is pronounced against them who take away the right from the poor of the people of the Lord, that widows may be their prey, and that they may rob the fatherless. Yea and from God himself by the mouth of King Solomon the advice is given, Remove not the old landmark; Prov. 23.10. and enter not into the fields of the fatherless. By the Almighty to the fatherless friends are raised: thus was job: job. 29.12. I delivered the poor (saith he) that cried, and the fatherless, and him that had none to help him. c 31.17. And again he saith, If I have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless hath not eaten thereof; vers. 22 then let mine arm fall from the showlder-blade, and mine arm be broken from the bone. Thus if I am God's, than God will be mine. If in my wants I miss my father, my God will relieve me: if in my troubles I want my father, my God will deliver me. What could my earthly parent have added to my content, which my heavenly parent cannot much more supply. If therefore I grieve too much for the death of him, I forget my God who liveth for ever. If too much I complain of his absence who delighted in me, I manifest my rebellion against him who should be my delight. Mat. 6.9. He taught me to pray; and when I pray he taught me to say Our father which art in heaven. On him therefore will I depend who is the father of all that believe in him. Rom. 4.11. To him in my wants will I address myself, who is the giver of all. jam. 1.17. Upon him will I call, and to him will I cry, and say. The Prayer. Almighty God, heavenly father, who art a Lord of comfort, Rom. 15.5. and a God of consolation; look down upon a sinful and distressed orphan bereft of the joy and help of an earthly parent. Thou o Lord didst send me unto him that thy Kingdom might be increased: and thou hast taken him from me that my faith and patience might be fully tried. I was apt to forget thee while he was living, looking upon him as the donour of blessings, and neglecting thee from whom they proceeded. I relied too much on the arm of flesh; 2: Chr. 32.8. and trusted too fond in the power of man: but now thou hast humbled me by his mortality, and taught me wholly to rely and depend upon thee. Mine own unworthiness of so loving a father made thee to take him away from mine eyes. My disobedience to his commands, and my neglect of honouring him according to thy laws, have provoked thee to anger, and to deprive me of his comfort. Lord forgive my manifold offences: & since I find that all flesh is but as grass, 1. Pet. 1 24. jam. 4.14. and that the life of man is but as a vapour which van sh away; make me always to apply my service wholly unto thee who livest forever. Remember thy promises which thou hast made unto the fatherless: and that I may be capable of those thy promises, give me grace to become thy child by obedience. Thou, o Lord, art my father to whom belongeth honour; Mal. 1.6. thou art my master, and requirest me to fear thee: Lord make me fear to offend thee who art a righteous judge; and make me love and honour thee who art a gracious father. Be with me in all the ways wherein I shall walk in this mortal life, Lu. 1.79. guiding my feet into the way of peace. Comfort me in my sorrows, support me in my miseries, provide for me in my wants; and in all places, and at all times be thou my father, Ps. 62.6 Ps: 82.3 my rock, and my strong salvation. Do thou defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Supply all my wants; and confer upon me all necessary blessings. O be reconciled unto me in the blood of thy son, that I may here depend upon thy fatherly protection, & hereafter be received into thy celestial Kingdom, there to reign with thee world without end, through jesus Christ my only Lord and Saviour. Amen. subject 23 THE TWENTIE-THIRD SUBJECT. Tears for the death of a beloved brother. And may likewise serve at the decease of any other faithful friend. The soliloquy. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. A Friend (saith King Solomon) loveth at all times; Prov. 17.17. and a brother is borne for adversity. Friendship which is begotten by the outward form, or any other sinister and by respect, liveth no longer than that ground of affection: but nature is stronger than our election can be; and religion obligeth fare more then both. O how great then is my loss of my dearest brother, in whom both excellency of feature, nearness of blood, and a gracious conversation conspired together to render him matchless! To me he was a friend, but now to the grave: & what loss can be greater than the loss of a friend? To me he was a brother, but now to the worms: and what loss can be more deplorable than the loss of a brother? But to me he was yet more: he was a friend in his love and courtesies, a brother by his blood, yea and an instructor, a teacher of religion and goodness: and yet nor love, nor blood, nor religion could preserve him mine. O what sorrows do accompany all thing transitory! His love could not die, but his body could: and so I am deprived of the society of my brother, because my brother was subject to corruption. But is this the adversity for which he was borne, according to King Solomon? Did the wise man intent that a brother is borne to bring adversity? Or rather to comfort us in the time of adversity? Had he been a cause of my least disturbance while he was living, he would have eased my grief by grieving himself. He would have comforted me in the time of trouble, had he lived to see my grievous mourning. But now alas I am left to lament alone; and so much the more for the want of his comfort. I now must grieve for him who was my joy: and my laments and my griefs increase the higher, because for his sake they arise who cannot allay them. Had we lived in hatred, his death peradventure might have been my comfort. Had we loved but slightly, a tear or two I might have thought enough to pay at his funeral. But our love was firm, it was strong, yea strong as death; Cant. 8.6. and who then can blame me if my sorrows in some measure keep pace with my love? O what tye can be so great as that of affection? What love so great as of a brother and sister? And yet so vain is man, so frail are mortals, that either our affection or our persons must have a divorce. Had my deceased brother forgotten the tye and bond of nature, and in his life had he turned his love into hatred; yet his fault ought not to have lessened my love, to which both nature and religion did strongly oblige me. Had he loved me but coldly and faintly, as divers do; yet I ought to have warmed his affection with the fervency of mine. But, oh, he dear loved, he cordially affected me: and yet his love and his affection could not prolong his life. There was a time when Moses was in the Mount; and while he was receiving the written laws of our glorious Maker, the Israëlites in his absence worshipped a Calf instead of the lawgiver. But when Moses returned he was so wrath with the people, that for so great an offence against the law of God, he decreed a revenge against the law of nature: yet was not that revenge provoked by a private and ●n-warranted fury, but commanded by God: for so he speaketh to the sons of Levi, and telleth them, Ex: 32.27. Thus saith the Lord God of Israël, Put every man hissword by his side, & go in and out from gate to gate through out the camp, and slay every man his brother, & every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. Neighbour's might be near in habitation, yet not in affection; & then the sword would devour greedily. Companions might love in a superficial manner, yet not in the heart; and then the sword might wound with freedom, though perhaps not with desire: yea and such contentions might arise in company, that the sword might execute at the self same time as well a private as the public revenge. But, that a brother should slay a brother; a brother more strongly allied by spirit then flesh; a brother whose veins did swell with the selse-same blood as his that executed him; o this, me thinks, did seem very cruel. But let me not err in my forward censure: there can be no true affection where there is not religion. If a brother offend, if a brother transgress the laws of God, religion will plead to silence nature, when he who is to be beloved above & before all, shall require our justice even against our brethren. Alas what a sad time was it with those idolaters, when the punishment did appear as full of terror in the actors as the sufferers! Yea it seemed easier to die by the hand of a brother, then to live to remember the brethren they had slain. Had my brother and I been idolaters together, I might have believed that that sin had slain my brother. But as our love was constant, so our religion was undefiled: yea the strength of our love was founded on the purity of our religion; and yet he hath paid his debt to nature. Is: 19.2 The Lord did threaten to set the Egyptians against the Egyptians, and that they should sighed every one against his brother. Those Egyptians were heathens, and enemies to the church; but mybrother and I were united both in the profession and the love of Christianity: and yet through our fins I fear that even we destroy each other. My sins are partly punished in his death: and his death hath given me so deep a wound, that peradventure I shall not long survive him. Our love was so entire, that me thinks I could willingly sleep with him in his grave: for while I live, my breast is but his walking monument. Such love as ours did not always possess the hearts of some as nearly allied; which maketh me sigh to think that ever there were any which had lain successively in the self same womb, and yet did not join in the unity of affection. Such there have been; I must believe it, because I find it in the sacred text. Yet when I read it, me thinks, I have a thriling in my blood, and a kind of holy revenge burning in my heart against those who dishonoured the name of a brother. There was a time when the jews were so wicked, that the Prophet was feign to advise them, saying, Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, jer. 9.4 and trust ye not in any brother; for every brother will supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders. And there was a time when the Church, complaining of her small increase, cried out in bitterness, and said, The good man is perished out of the earth; Mich: 7 2. there is none upright among men: They all lie in wait for blood; they hunt every man his brother with a net. Me think's the advice of the Prophet may in some measure concern myself; for I am taught not to trust in any brother, since he whom I loved hath now forsaken me. Me think's the complaint of the Church may be part of an Elegy upon my deceased brother; for with her I may cry out, and that justly too, The good man is perished out of the earth. But neither can I say that he was a jew in supplanting; or an enemy to the Church, lying in wait for blood. What secret devil did guide both the tongue and the hand of joab, when under the colour of friendship he asked Amasa, 2. Sam. 20.9. Art thou in health my brother? And took him by the beard with the right hand to kiss him: & yet even at that time some him with his sword in the fifth rib, and shed out his bowels to the ground that he died? vers. 10 What cursed fiend did guide the tongue of that wicked miscreant whom the Psalmist chargeth thus, and saith, Ps: 50.20. Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou slanderest thine own mother's son? Had my brother either supplanted me, or hunted me with a net, or sought to slay me, or slandered me with his tongue, than I might peradventure have saved this great expense of my tears. But he was always so good a brother, that I could never justly charge him with the least discourtesy. O Noah: Ps: 55.14. we took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company. I may say of him as Nehemiah spoke of Hanani the ruler of the palace, Neh: 7.2. He was a faithful man, and feared God above many. His blood was near to me; but his soul was nearer. His person I loved, as I was prompted to it by nature: but his inner man I more zealously affected, to which I was alured by his gracious endowments. Such a one in some measure he was as my Redeemer himself did style his brother; Mat: 12 49. vers. 50. when he stretched forth his hand towards his disciples, and said, Behold my mother, and my brethren: for whosoëver shall do the will of my father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother. And yet though thus he was my counsellor; though thus he was my companion in the ways of godliness; though thus faithful he was, and feared God above many, labouring to do the will of him that sent my Redcemer; yet neither his counsel, nor his society, nor his fidelity, nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporal death. O what would I not do to call him back again? What would I not give to have him restored to life again? But all that I can either do, or give, cannot persuade his soul to return back to its prison. Were I the most rich and wealthy in the world, yet could not my treasures urchase his return. No, Noah: I am well assured of the truth of the Psalmist, who saith that They who trust in their wealth, Ps: 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches: vers. 7. none of them can by any means redeem his brother; nor give to God a ransom for him. Well then; seeing that I cannot fetch him from the grave, I will yet send up my sighs towards the place where he is blessed. This I may do without any check either of reason, or religion. It was a curse which God did Inflict upon jehojakim for his sins; Ier: 22.17. even for his covetousness, for his oppression, and for his violence, vers. 18 That they should not lament for him saying, Ah my brother. But on the contrary when Deborah (though she was but Rebeckah's nurse) was buried beneath Bethel under an oak, Gen: 35.8. the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth, the oak of weeping. When the enemies of David were sisited with sickness, Ps: 35.14. he behaved himself as though they had been his friends, or his brethren: yea he bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother. But he who now is dead was not mine enemy, but my friend; yea and Noah common friend, but a brother; yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection, even as dear as a mother: why then should I not sorrow for the loss of such a brother? I will grieve, I will lament when I remember the love, and the courtesies which he shown unto me; and I will speak in the language of the Church to Christ, and say, O thou that wert my brother, Cant: 8.1. that sucked the breasts of my mother; when I should find thee without, I would kiss thee; yet I should not be despised. I will lament him as David did Saul and jonathan, and say, 2. Sam. 1.19. vers. 23 vers. 26 The beauty of Israël is dead: he was lovely, and pleasant in his life. I am distressed for thee my brother; very pleasant hast thou been unto me; thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. But what advantage to the dead are the tears of the living? Can my sighs inspire life into his bosom? Can a draught of my tears fetch him back again to life? O Noah: 'tis this, 'tis this therefore that doth heighten and increase my sorrows, even that my tears cannot recover him whom I lament. But cease fond woman, cease thy sobs and cries of discontent. By the extremity of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave: yet if th●… murderest thyself with excessive sorrow, thy soul may be deprived of the locietie of his 'Tis true indeed; 'tis most true. Little can I expect to come to heaven, if I violently force myself from the earth. Why then do I take on, as if I either suspected his happiness, or doubted of following him? What comfore can it bring to his body of earth, to have i● cabined in the grave with his dispersing ashe● The dust of both of us may mix in the vault, and yet no joy arise to our senseless asher. If his earth was that which drew mine affertion, I see my fondness in the corruption of that earth: but if his gracious soul was the object of my love, I must strive to come where that surviveth. To heaven he's gone, and to heaven I'll hasten: and because I will go the surest way, I will walk in those paths which faith and patience shall direct me in. I will no more disturb the peace of my mind, since that cannot help me to the company of him. Weep indeed I do; I am enforced unto it: 'tis the law of nature; 'tis an act of necessity; I cannot avoid it. Yet, though I weep, I will labour for content: and since my God (as I undoubtedly believe) hath been pleased to crown my brother with glory; I will beseech him to comfort me here with his grace. I will not immoderately weep, lest I injure myself: I will not Weep without hope, lest I offend my Maker: but that I may weep as I should, and hope as I ought, & live as I am required, I will humble myself at the feet of him to whom my brother is gone, and I will pray unto him, and say. The Prayer. ALl mighty God, everlasting father; Is: 9.6. thou in whom we live, and move, and have pur being; be pleased to take pity upon thy distressed servant grieving for the loss of a beloved brother. Thou knowest, Lord, how ●eerely our hearts were knit in affection, and ●herfore how justly I lament my loss. Be●hold how these tears do witness my love, and imitate that ointment on Aaron's head, Ps: 133.2. which went down to the skirts of his out ward garments. Behold how these drops like that dew of Harmon, and that dew which descended upon the mountains of Zion, vers: 3. do arise from that unity which thou hast commanded. O how shall I bear the loss of him whom thou in thy law didst charge me to love? Thou, o God, didst tie us together in the bond of love & yet thou thyself hast separated him from my sight. But since it was thy pleasure to receive him to thyself, be pleased also to hasten my journey to him. Give me patience to endure this stroke of thy scourge; and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodness in his happiness. Him thou hast taken fron● the evils to come; Rom: 7 24. o deliver me also from thi● body of death. Make me settle mine affection only upon thee, that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous laws. Give me a sight of my sins for which I have not grieved so much as for the loss of my deceased brother: and turn all my tears into a godly sorrow for offending thy majesty. Be thou unto me a father in thy provident care, and a brother in thy love; that all my wants may be supplied by thy sufficience. On earth, I see, there is nothing permanent: Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven; Mat: 6.21. and then where my treasure is let my heart be also. When it shall be thy pleasure to free me from this tabernacle of flesh, o let me be received into that choir of Saints, whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyful member. Grant, o my God, that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world, I may sing triumphant hallelujahs to thy praise and glory, through the merits of him who is mine elder brother, even jesus Christ my only Lord and Saviour. Amen. subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH SUBJECT. Tears of a woman in a deep Consumption, or in any other languishing disease. The soliloquy, Consisting of three parts: viz: 1 A complaint, and description of the nature of the disease. 2 The cause of the malady. 3 The hope of recovery. part 1 The First part of the soliloquy, expressing A complaint, and description of the nature of the disease. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. ALl flesh is as grass (saith the Apostle); 1. Pet: 1 24. and all the glory of man as the flower of the grass: The grass withereth, and the flow● thereof falleth away. Blessed Apostle ho● truly hast thou described the condition o● humanity! O how sensible am I of th● piercing truth of that sacred text! Those whom age enforceth to decline, do easily feel their approaching autumn: Io: 4.35 and when they lift up their eyes and look on the field● (on the drooping years of their parched selves) they easily conclude themselves to be white already unto the horvest. But must death be confined to the leisure of antiquity; and always be locked out until it hath complied with age to destroy the prison? O Noah: I find it otherwise. Death may as easily ente● at the gates of diseases, as at the stooping salie-port of numerous years, Me thinkest see it staring and gaping upon me with a● eager appetite and when I plead the minority of my time, it telleth me that the flows may be cropped in their spring. True it is that every one in the prime of years is like unto grass, priding himself in the verdure of youth, if yet he be permitted to enjoy i● with delight. We grow up with the strength of a juicy stem; and bear the flowers o● beauty and glory. But when our pomp hath jollied itself in the pleasure of earth, and our strength hath wantonned among the painted flowers of the springing fields; at length the sap shall return, the Sun shall withdraw itself, the plant shall whither, and the sigh shall cut it down. But is this true in those alone whose hairy heads incline to the earth, and whose stooping bodies are bowed by antiquity? Alas Noah: Diseases have a power as great as hath age; and can work the carkeise in the self same mould as doth length of days. I am sure it is so: I find it so, I see it so, I feel it so in the continuance of mine infirmity. The natural heat & moisture of my body decline like the juice of the flowers In the time of their autumn: and, what a number of years could not easily have effected, the sharpness of a malady can quickly conclude. Man dyeth (saith job), job: 14.10. and wasteth away; yea man giveth up the ghost, and where is he? Too true, too true it is, that I die while I live; and I wast away when I hope to increase. My life is but a linger death; for my meats nourish me not, my drinks comfort me not, my physic restore's me not, my clothes content me not, and my bed easeth me not. When I hope that my meat will nourish me, than the weakness of my stomach chides me for my hope, and tell's me that it is weary of the labour of the teeth. When I desire that my drink should comfort me, than the in-disposition of my concoction frustrateth my desires, and causeth my stomach to render back the present in contempt of the bribery. When I too seriously rely upon the skill of the Physician, and have a kind of confidence that his physic shall restore me; then, either his ignorance of my disease, or the debility of my deadened body, or the in-disposition of the drugs flowte's me for my confidence, and tell's me I must die. When my clothes are presented to the heat of the fire, and requested to convey the warmth to my chillowed body; then either the air lieth in wait, and robbeth them of the heat; or else the strictness of the poares of my shriveled skin deny it access by those contracted doors. job. 7.13. vers: 14 vers: 15 vers: 16 When I say, My bed shall comfort me my couch shall ease my complaint; them am I skared with dreams, and terrified through visions; so that my soul chooseth death rather than life. I loathe it; I would not live alway: let me alone, for my days are vanity. Ps: 22.15. My strength is dried up like a potsherd; my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and I am brought into the dust of death. I am chastened with pain upon my bed; job: 33 19 Ps: 22.17. and the multitude of my bones with strong pain. I may tell all my bones; they look and stare● upon me. Lord what a walking ghost am I become; even able to affright the world with amazement and wonder at the power of a Consumption! Eyes far ye well; ye shall no more be admired by spectators; nor convey enticements of wickedness to my deluded heart. Ears far ye well: ye shall no more enjoy the fond delights of earthly music; nor shall the Ecchoeing Choristars of the yielding ajer any more bewitch you with the melody of their voices. And ye the rest of my senses, take your leaves: labour no more the service of my body; for bitterness hath seized upon my taste, roughness my touch, and dullness my smelling. Mine eyes have now none other object, than the bare perusing of ●he craggy mountains of my rising bones; and ●he pale, dull, lead-colloured skin is so brivelled and deformed, just like the parchment which is contracted and puckered by the ●eate of the fire. Mine Ears are entertained with no other sound's then a hollow cough which borroweth from my lungs as much of their froth as they can spare at a time; and makes me see how I hourly consume by mammocks. All that I have is pain; and all that I am is a burden to myself. When I think to walk, my knees complain, my Feet are unwilling: & if the charitable hand of a friend supporteth me, I am to begin again to learn to go. When I think to discourse, the first word biddeth me be silent and speak no more, lest my spirits should slink from me in the ajer of my speech. I am grown as much a trouble to society, as they do appear a burden unto me. I am not so weak in my digestion as I am various in mine appetite: and if speedily I am not furnished with what I long for, I am presently passionate; if it cometh as I desire, I am cloyed with the sight. I puzzle mine invention to become my Caterer: and if I obtain what I think upon, I am surfieted with looking upon it. Full I am of pain; but distinctly and most predominantly I know not where. Every part hath a share in the anguish; and yet I cannot say which part is most afflicted. I cry when I am pained, and yet 'tis a pain to me to cry yea and 'tis folly to cry, because I receive 〈◊〉 certain hurt by it, but no release from th● which I cryfor. I envy all that enjoy the● health; and each moment I am ready to repit at him who hath brought me so low. Th● smile of a visitant is a dagger at my heart: for while I find myself thus linger in a sickness, I look that the whole world should decay for company. I am fretful, and peevish, and disturbed with every thing; yea even by a continuance of the fretfulblesse itself. One while I feign would have my life prolonged: another while I cry out for a speedy departure. Sometimes I have a kind of glimmering o● health; and then I am so proud of it, that 〈◊〉 adventure too much. Either I eat too much, or I walk too much, or I discourse too much; or one thing or other exceeding its proportion speeds me back again to my former weakness: & then am I sorry for what I have done and yet am I apt either to deny, or excuse it. Thus, o thus is my body perplexed: but all this while I say nothing of my soul. I am sensible of the anguish which I feel in my body; but in what estate or condition do I find my foul? My body is almost resolved into that whereof it was framed; my soul therefore is not long to continue upon earth. When they shall part, it will prove either a day of triumphant bliss; or else a dismal time ●t will be of horror and confusion. O come, come thou fond and foolish woman: look ●o that darling which ere long shall be crowned with a diadem of glory, or else be damned with the rebellious ghosts. Well; I am resolved: I will now take up; & banishing the thoughts or hopes of recovery, I will prepare myself that I may meet my God. O my God assist me in this my resolution, and bless me in the performance. part 2 The second part of the soliloquy, expressing the cause of the malady. HAd Adam continued in his integrity, man should have been freed from the tortures of sickness. The dead and trampled earth should not have been freer from thorns and thistles, than man the living earth from maladies and infirmities. But o I feel the sourness of the apple in the bitterness and sharpness of my disease; and needs must I therefore remember mine original corruption. This is the cause of my languishing; this is the ground of my feebleness. But is this all? Have I nothing but the stain which I inherit from my parents, to be termed the cause of this my misery? One only offence to my great creator hath power enough to purchase my disquiet. But have I but one? Is mine hereditary sin mine only crime? Surely I fear that I have something amiss in mine own thoughts, and words, and actions, as well as in my parent's un-kind legacy. I cannot believe that God doth afflict my body with these chastisements, yea and threaten my soul too with eternal tortures; and all this only for a sin of Adam so many ages since committed. Thus indeed he might do, and yet I should not choose but justify him when he should speak, Ps: 51.4 and clear him when he should judge. Oh but I feel something else at my heart as weighty as lead, which makes me cry out: it is something at my conscience, which telleth me that I have more to answer for then the pollutions of nature: it assureth me that I have offended; cruelly, deeply, desperately I have offended. 'Tis true, o mine angry, my disturbed conscience; I must confess I have. Oh my heart: I feel there, I feel there something more than an universal guilt. I have offended; I have sinned actually, greatly, mightily, bloodily in every thought, in every word, in every action. I have so industriously employed my time to the dishonour of my God that I cannot remember I ever pleased him. Guilty, guilty: I must, I do confess myself, highly guilty of fearful crimes; such as disturb me in the very remembrance. O my God vouchsafe me a repenting heart for them; yet never without the assurance of thy mercy and pardon through the sufferance of thy Son. How can I choose but find my sins even in my very feeble and consuming sickness? Since I have so many testimonies in the sacred pages, that God is no revenger until me are delinquents! All disturbances of the body do un-doubtedly arise from the pollutions of the soul. The Prophet David confessed it, and said, Ps: 38.3 There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones, by reason of my sins. My Redeemer justified it, when he who had been shaken with a palsy was brought unto him lying upon his bed: for he cured him, Mat: 9.2. and said, Son be of good cheer, thy sins be forgiven thee. And again when thirty & eight years had been spent by a man in a linger disease; and after that my jesus had cured him, when he found him in the Temple, Io: 5.14. his words to him were, Behold thou art made whole; sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee. Saint Paul assured the Corinthians, that because they did unworthily approach the table of the Lord, 1. Cor: 11.30. even for this cause many were weak and sick among them, and many slept. Thus the punishment is sent from God; but the offence is both in, and from ourselves. But have all diseases the same original? Is sin the ground of every sickness? Cannot I be afflicted with this languishing malady, but it must needs proceed from the wickedness I have committed? No doubtless: for this very kind and manner of sickness hath particularly been threatened, yea and sent too as a punishment for disobedience. A languishing hath been threatened and sent upon the very creatures, for the sins and wickedness of the offending people. Thus the Prophet bemoaneth the punishment of the jews for their great rebellions, and saith, The earth mourneth, Is: 24.4 and fadeth away; the world languisheth, and fadeth away; the height of the people of the earth doth languish. Ier: 14.2. Thus in a grievous famine judah mourned, and the gates thereof languished: they were black unto the ground, and jerusalem was gone up. Is: 16.8 Thus the fields of Hesbon languished, and the vine of Shibmah: the lords of the heathen brake down the principal plants thereof. joel 1.10. Thus among the jews, the field was wasted; the land mourned, for the corn was wasted; the new wine was dried up; the oil languished: vers: 12 the vine was dried up; and the figtree languished. Thus in the confusion of Egypt the fishers mourned, Is: 19.8 and all that did cast the angle into the brooks lamented; and they that spread nets upon the waters did languish. Thus among the enemies of the church the earth mourned and languished; c: 33.9 Lebanon was ashamed and hewn down; Sharon was like a wilderness; and Bashan, and Carmel did shake off their fruits. But what was the reason of all these judgements; of all this languishing sent upon the creatures? I need not go fare to seek the cause: the Prophet will soon determine it: for he complaineth of the people, that By swearing, and lying, Hos: 4.2. and killing, and stealing, and committing adultery they broke forth; and blood touched blood. These were their sins; but what was the effect? The self same Prophet immediately after threatneth them with it, saying, vers. 3. Therefore shall the land mourn, and every one that dwelleth therein shall languish, with the beasts of the field, and with the fowls of heaven. Here was the earth, and the world; the cities, and the fields, and the vines, and the plants, and the lands, and the corn, and the oil, and the figtrees; and all languishing, grievously languishing; and the cause thereof was the people's sin. But yet, me thinks, this cannot much concern me. Shall I for a smootie ear of corn or two, or for the drying of the branch of a vine or a figtree, presently conclude that the withering of them can parallel my consumption? Yes doubtless: I must, if I look into the cause. The trees, and the other of the smaller plants could never either be guilty of an offence, or be sensible of a punishment: but the men, the men, they were the offenders; and for their transgressions, their mother earth had her second curse. I cannot plead mine own innocency; or pretend that I am free from the guilt of enormities. No, Noah; I cannot. I may therefore conceive myself one of the trees which I find so cursed: for my branches (mine arms, my legs, & my thighs) do pine away: my fruits (my works, and my labours) are now decayed: and what can I say, or plead for myself? I am one of those trees which the Apostle speaketh of, whose fruit withereth; jud. 12 without fruit; twice dead: and now am I ready to be plucked up by the roots. Yet for all this my stubborn heart, me thinks, stands out; and would feign persuade me that the curse of the trees resemble's not my disease. But I hope that I shall came this heart of mine, and put it to silence, when I shall search more narrowly in to the sacred book. Wherefore did the Prophet say that he heard from the Lord God of hosts a Consumption Is: 28.22. determined even upon the whole earth? Was it not because the people said, vers: 15 They had made a covenant with death; and with hell they were at agreement: when the overflowing scourge should pass thorough, it should not come nigh them: for they had made lies their refuge; and under falsehood they had hid themselves? Doth not the Lord by the mouth of Moses threaten the people, saying, If ye will not hearken unto me, Lev: 26 14. vers. 16 and will not do these commandments, I will also do this unto you: I will even appoint over you terror, Consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart? Doth he not again menace them, and say, Deut: 28. The Lord shall smite thee with a Consumption, and a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning? Doth not the Prophet tell the people, saying, Is: 10.22. vers. 23. The Consumption decreed shall overflow in righteousness: for the Lord God of hosts shall make a Consumption, even determined in the midst of all the land? O my conscience, my conscience, thou art now at a stands O my heart, my hardest heart, thou art now struck dead. Lo here's my very disease, my Consumption; and is here not my sin too? Have I never made a covenant with death; or been at agreement with hell? Have I never made lies my refuge; or hide myself under falsehood? Have I not refused to hearken to my God, and to do his commandments? O how feign would I have attributed my disease to fecond causes; and rather have thanked the Physician than the Divine for telling me the ground! But now I am at a stand; and must needs confess in the midst of my torments, that I find in them the displeasure of my maker. I cannot urge one act of goodness that ever I did, to plead my pardon for the least, for the smallest sin which I have committed. Alas I find my destiny in the book of Psalms, where the Prophet telleth me that The wicked shall perish, Ps: 37.20. and the enemies of the Lord shall be as the fat of lambs: they shall Consume; into smoke shall they Consume away. O were I but worthy to be ranked in the form with Aoraham, I might as well as he, be styled The friend of God. Iam: 2.23. But my conscience telleth me, that though God be my friend in his goodness and long-suffering; yet never was I hitherto a friend of his. Such a friend to him indeed I am, as he was whom in his meekness he called a friend; Mat: 22 12. he who shifted in for a dinner among the guests that were invited. But what became of him? Alas when he was found not having on a wedding garment, vers: 11 vers: 13 the Lord then said unto his servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outward darkness; there shall be weeping, and gnashing of teeth. O this dreadful sentence have I deserved, besides this consumption which I now groan under: and all because I am an enemy of the Lord's. This shall be the plague (saith the Prophet) wherewith the Lord shall smite all the people that have fought against jerusalem: Zech: 14.12. Their flesh shall consume away while they stand upon their feet; and their eyes shall consume away in their holes; and their tongue shall consume away in their mouth. jerusalem is the vision of peace; Gal: 4.26. But I have always warred against it. The Church upon earth hath found me an adversary; and that jerusalem which is above hath found me an enemy. This is my fault; and justly therefore do I feel this punishment. For this offence my flesh consumeth away while I stand on my feet; mine eyes are mistied, and overcast with dimness; and my tongue is so feeble, that I can scarce complain. I may now cry out as Hezekiah did, and say, Mine age is departed, Is: 38.12. and is removed from me as a sheep-heard's tent: I have cut off, like a weaver, my life: he will cut me off with pining sickness: from day even to night wilt thou make an end of me. But let me not forget the sin of Hezekiah. His heart was lifted up; 2. Ch●… 32.25. therefore there was wrath upon him, and upon judah, and upon Jerusalem. Let me not forget mine own sin. My heart hath been lifted up too: I have been proud; yea I have swelled with scorn, and contempt. O that with Hezekiah too, vers: 26 I could humble myself for the pride of my heart, so that the wrath of the Lord might not come upon me. O that I could pray, with Hezekiah, & weep with Hezekiah; that the Lord might say unto me as he did unto him, Is: 38.5. I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears! That curse which David prophetically laid upon the wicked in his time: Ps: 58.7 me thinks, doth seem at the first severe; but yet it is just: Let them melt away as waters which run continually: vers. 8. as a snail which melteth let every one of them pass away; like the untimely sruit of a woman, that they may not see the Sun. The snail consumeth wheresoëver it crawleth: and yet the providence of God is such, that the consuming snail is often found a remedy for the Consumption. Thus what is good for my disease is troubled with the same: and that which some have found to be a remedy, is to me a certain remembrancer of my misery: o that every thing might put me in mind as well of the cause of this my disease! Lord how my flesh doth quiver, though but little is left of it! How my heart doth tremble, as if no comfort were left me! I have sinned: I have done very wickedly. But doth the cure of my sickness as much exceed the power of my God, as the skill of my Physician? No, Noah: he may, if he please, restore me to health again: and he may, when he pleaseth, commit me to the worms. All is in his hand: o what shall I do to purchase his favour? What shall I do to have him reconciled? Feign I would weep for my sins, but I know not how. Feign I would shed some penitent tears; but hardly will nature afford me moisture enough. But I resolve howsoever that no excuse shall save a tear, or a throb; since without these I cannot hope for excuse, and pardon. Alas my sins lie heavy at the door: Gen: 4.7. but I will roll them away with the force of a water course. I will grieve for my offending so merciful a God: I will lament for the offences which I have committed against him that visiteth me. I have but a little time to continue upon earth, unless it shall please him to restore me to health. Earth I am; I must confess it: but I would not be dry; I would not be dust, until I am laid to sleep in the dust. Io: 9.6. He who made clay with his spittle to cure the blind, can open mine eyes with the blessing of a tear. Me thinks I am like unto the corn that is ground in a mill; for so am I torn so am I crumbled, & worn into meal. But since I am so, I will make dough of this meal: I will leaven it with my sorrows; I will add unto it the water of my tears; I will kneade it by contrition; and bake it with the heat of that zeal which I will preserve in my heart: and then will I pray that it may be a present accepted by my God. Thus will I weep in my languishing sickness; thus will I lament for the cause of my sickness: but I will weep in faith, and I will lament in hope that my jesus will say unto me as he did to the woman that touched his garment, Mat: 9.22. Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole; thy sins are forgiven thee. part 3 The Third part of the soliloquy, setting forth the Patient's hope of recovery. THe hour of death seemeth near approaching; and putteth me in remembrance of my last account. The weakness of my body telleth me now that the time is coming wherein I must appear at the great tribunal, Me think's these lean and languishing joints do seem to wonder at me for so long entertaining the fleeting air; and do groan under the burden of this sharp disease. Lord I cannot hope to continue here long, since the little house of my body is so tottering and shaking. And yet me thinks I have not sufficiently completed the work of my repentance; and cannot therefore account myself ready to meet my God. I repent indeed of whatsoever formerly I have done amiss; and yet I cannot choose but do amiss again, even as soon as I have repent. I tremble when I think upon the punishment due to offenders; and yet I tremble not when I commit, when I act mine offences. Ready I am not to die; too desirous I would not be to live: and yet die I must; and yet live I may. Lord if thou prolongest my life, renew mine obedience. I would be contented to live; but then I would live without sin. I could yield to continue a while that I might perfect my repentance; but then I am sure I should add to the number of those sins whereof I repent. I will resolve therefore neither to hasten my death, nor yet too eagerly will I desire life. I must needs confess that I am willing enough to live. Lord grant that if I do live, I may live to thy glory; and if I do recover my health, I may express my thanks in a religious life. Thus I pray with my lip; but do I pray so with my heart? I am apt to promise unto God more than I fear I shall be able to perform; and all these promises are made in hope that I may recover my strength. Yea and it may please him who is the Physician both of the soul and body, to restore my body to health and strength. I know that it is in his power; he may do it if he pleaseth. Mat: 19 26. With men indeed this seemeth impossible; but with God all things are possible. If I live, I will spend my time in his service: and upon these conditions I may hope to live. Yea and so I will hope: why should I not? He, in whom alone I do hope, hath power to grant the thing that I hope for; yea and to give a blessing thereto if he fullfilleth my hopes. By him even dead bodies have been restored to life: it is not hard therefore for him to restore a living body to health. When Tabytha was dead, Act: 9.37. vers: 39 and washed, and laid out, Peter went into the upper chamber, where all the widows stood by him weeping, and showing the coats and garments which Dorc●s had made whilst yet she was with them. vers: 40 Then the Apostle put them all forth, and kneeled down, and prayed: and turning him to the body he said, Tabytha arise; and she opened her eyes: & when she saw Peter, she sat up. Here was a wonder wrought by a man, fare greater than the recovery of my health would prove: but this man received his power from God. Mat. 9.8. Well might the people marvel when they saw such things; and glorify God, who had given such power unto men. But Saint Peter is dead; and in these latter times those miracles are ceased of restoring the dead. What then? I am yet alive; and my cure is not difficult to him who is emnipotent. He did work many wonders by his Apostles, Act: 19 11. even upon the living; and special miracles by the hand of Saint Paul; vers: 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick, handkercheifs or aprons; & the diseases departed from them, & the evil spirits went out of them. And he who wrought cure of the people without means, can give such a blessing to the means, that I may thereby be restored again, many diseases my Redeemer himself did cure, while he was upon earth. It is true that he is now not here in the flesh: he is ascended into heaven. But what of that? Though his humanity be there, yet his divinity is every where. I will therefore submit to his pleasure; and I will hope for my health. While he was upon earth he delighted in cures; and his mercy remaineth still the same: readily will I therefore submit to his pleasure. Mar. 2.3. Once was a man so weak with the palsy; that he was borne by four: verse 4. and when by reason of the press they could not come near the doors of the house where my Saviour was, they un-covered the roof, and let him down in his bed. When jesus saw their faith, vers. 5. he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son thy sins be forgiven thee. Mat: 8.14. When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a fever, vers. 15 my Saviour did but only touch her hand, and the fever left her, and she arose, and ministered unto them. c. 4.24. The people brought unto him all sick folk that were taken with divers diseases, and torments; and those that were possessed with devils, and those that were lunatic, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them. It is he alone that can heal; and therefore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed. Were my disease as old as my body, & my body as ancient as time itself; yet he that can remit my sins, can restore my health. But my disease is not so ancient; and therefore the cure doth not seem to be so hard. Suppose that I have languished a month, a quarter, a whole year: What if three? What if six? What if a dozen years? It exceedeth not either his power, Mat. 9.20. or skill to make me whole. He cured a woman who for twelve years together had been diseased of an issue of blood in her body. Mar: 5.26. She, poor woman, had suffered many things of many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and yet was nothing bettered, but rather grew worse. Thus despairing of any help from man, she addressed herself to him who is both God and man. To him that cure was so easy, that she did but only touch the hem of his garment & straight way the fountain of her blood was dried up, vers. 29 and she felt in her body that she was healed of that plague. There was a miracle indeed, that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured. If such power did lie in the hemne of his garment, what virtue must I needs believe did lie in his body! But what comfort can I receive from this which I read, when I know that that body is ascended into heaven? Fond woman as I am, why do I thus waver? Though his flesh be from me, yet his spirit is with me. Yea and his flesh, and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth. He giveth not only his garment to touch, but also his flesh: and that not to touch, only, but even to eat, to seed upon in the blessed sacrament. That woman was cured by the touch of his garment; and shall not I hope for his mercy who feed upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist? Yes, yes; I must, I will believe that he for his own sake will remit my sins; and that (if it may advantage the glory of his name) he ●an, and may recover my health. Yet all this while I think but of a disease of twelve years standing. What if I had been sick for eighteen years together? Might I therefore despair of his power? No, Noah; I might not; I durst not. Lu: 13.11. Do not I read of a woman who had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bowed together, and could in no wise lift up herself? A disease she had which in effect was not altogether unlike unto mine; for I stoop too, and am almost bowed together through the weakness and infirmity of my body; and cannot lift up myself, but am enforced to require the aid of my friends and attendance to raise me, and to support me. Yet I read that when jesus saw her, vers: 12 he called her unto him, and said unto her, Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmity: vers: 13 And he laid his hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God. It may be his pleasure to speak such comfort also unto me: for I have not been sick so many years as was she: and I seek my Saviour, which she did not, although I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in me this my seeking of him: yea and I beg the cure, whereas she was asked if she would be cured. Why then should I not hope that he will lay his hands upon me, and make me straight, and restore me whole, as he did that woman, that I may glorify him for it? But suppose that my disease had continued above twenty years: suppose above thirty: should the long continuance make me determine the cure impossible? Nothing less: for I read that a certain man was at the pool of Bethesda, Io. 5.5. who had an infirmity thirty and eight years: vers. 6. and when my jesus same him lie there, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he said unto him, Wilt thou be whole? vers. 7. The impotent man answered him, Sir I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool; but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me. vers. 8. vers. 9 jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk: and immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked. Lo here is some comfort still: thirty and eight year's continuance was nothing to Christ. He who is eternal seethe all things at once, and doth all things without difficulty. Surely that man was intended for a pattern of patience; and that I might learn contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon me. He despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate; but he lay ●… the pool, and expected still the hand of mercy ●o lift him into the water, nothing doubting ●f the cure if he could in due time but get ●…to the pool. Nor may I despair of what ●y God can do; but I must continue in my applications, enduring mine affliction with ●tience, and referring all to his holy pleasure, 〈◊〉 must be as constant in my prayers as the mangas ●as constant in his attendance at the pool. At ●y gate, o Christ, I must, I do continually ●e. Thy blood, o jesus is the only Bethesda ●r my distressed soul. Lord lead me into ●…at pool of blood by the hand of faith, and then I shall not distrust the effect of that ●ver. O cleanse my soul, and then I shall willingly submit to thy pleasure for my body. But still, o still my pains increase, and my flesh consume's. I pray, and I beg, and I beseech; and yet I find no ease, no relief. The continuance of my sickness does but ●each me the ignorance of the Physicians; or ●he deadness of the drugs and potions. I am dieted, and I am physicked, and my body is become the very shop of an Apothecary; and yet I find no ease, no comfort. 'Tis true that thirty and eight year's continuance of a malady hindered not Christ from curing with a word. But if it had remained longer, could he have done the like? Yes surely: why not? He himself could as well have doo● that, as have given power to his Apostles t● restore the Cripple, who had been forty yea●… lame. This was done by Peter and john: for the man that was above forty years old, Act: 14 22. c: 3.2. and had been lame from his mother's womb, even on him was showed this miracle of healing I may hope for some favour too from the hands of my God: for though to me it might appear almost a miracle that I should recore, yet with God it is as easily effected by a word, as was the great creation of heaven and earth. I will therefore submit to his pleasure, and 〈◊〉 upon his goodness. He is a God of mercy, an tender compassion: he is the great Physitia both of soul, and body: he hath always delighted in acts of charity. It was his promise upon some conditions, to heal a who●… land: 2. Chr: 7.14. for his own words are, If my people which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn● from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and wi●… heal their land. I am one of the people, o Christ that is called by thy name; for a Christian I am though a sinful, and a feeble Christian; and thou hast humbled me with this thy visitation, and grace thou hast given me (I bless the for it) to humble myself in the consideration of mine iniquities, and to pray; and to se●… thy face. Lord perfect thy good works, and make me turn from mine iniquities; and then hear me from heaven, and forgive my sin; and (if it may stand with thy eternal decree) heal thy servant. He hath likewise showed his mercy even in healing of waters: 2. King 2.21. for his Prophet Elisha went forth to the spring of un-wholesome waters, and cast salt in there, and said, Thus saith the Lord, I have healed these waters; there shall not ●e from thence any more death, or barren land. So the waters were healed, vers: 22 according to the saying of Elisha the Prophet. Lord I have waters too that require thy help; for they are un-wholesome, they are sinful. I weep, and I lament; my tears run down on my cheeks; Lam. 1.2. and all either with extremity of anguish, or fear of death, or despair of thy power to restore me to health: few of them are for my sins, few of them for my transgressions. But some hope I have that thou wilt likewise heal these waters; for already thou hast cast some salt into them; I find by my taste that they are brackish, that they are brinish. Lord let me be no longer a barren land, but make me fruitful in good works, Col: 1.10 Ps: 1.3. that I may be like unto a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in due season: and then though this leaf for a time may fail, though the flower of my body may be cropped, or mowed for the harvest; yet I know that my Redeemer will not cast it into the fire, but will make it spring up hereafter in eternal glory. He hath also healed the persons of divers of his people; Ps: 107.20. for so saith the Psalmist, He sent his word and healed them, & delivered them from their destructions. Is: 19.22. So Isaiah prophesieth concerning Egypt, saying, The Lord shall smite Egypt; he shall smite and heal it; and they shall return even to the Lord, and he shall be entreated of them, and shall heal them. O what comfortable words were these to Egypt! He may, if he please, cheer me up also with the like; for he hath already smitten me; and in his loving kindness he hath so sanctified this affliction, that by it he hath made me to return unto him. O Lord now, if it be thy pleasure, be thou entreated of me, & heal me. This God is the same God who speaketh by the mouth of Moses, and saith, See now that I, Deut: 32.39. even I am he, and there is no God with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal; neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand. This is the same Lord whom Hannah did magnify in her thankful Song, and said, The Lord killeth, and maketh alive; he bringeth down to the grave, 1. Sam. 2.6. and bringeth up. This is the same God of whom job his servant professeth and boasteth, saying, He maketh sore, job. 5.18. and bindeth up; he woundeth, and his hands make whole. This is the same Lord Whom David commandeth his soul to magnify, and saith, Ps. 103 1. vers: 2. Bless the Lord o my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy name: Bless the Lord o my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; vers: 3. and who redeemeth thy life from destruction. vers: 4. this God is the same God who alone hath power over soul & body; & can, if he pleaseth, preserve them both. He it is whose mercies were promised to his Church, when by his Prophet he said, The light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun; Is: 30.26. and the light of the Sun shall be seven fold as the light of seven days, in the day that the Lord bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroke of their wound. He it is who giveth such Evangelicall promises to penitent judah, and saith, I have seen his ways, and will heal him; c: 57.18. I will lead him also, and restore comforts to him, and to his mourners. I create the fruit of the lips, peace, peace to him that is fare off, vers: 19 and to him that is near saith the Lord, and I will heal him. This is he who inviteth Israel to come unto him, and saith, Return ye back-sliding Children and I will heal your backsliding. Ier: 3.22. And this is he to whom Israel replieth, and saith, vers: 23 Behold we come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills, and from the multitude of mountains; truly the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel. This is he who promiseth unto Zion, c: 30.17. saying I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord, because they called thee an outcast, saying, This is Zion whom no man seeketh after. This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves, Hos. 6.1. when they said, Come & let us return unto the Lord; for he hath torn, and he will heal us: he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. Since than my God hath cured both lands, and waters, and bodies, and souls: Since he woundeth, and he healeth; & none can deliver out of his hand: Since he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up: Since he woundeth, and his hands make whole: Since it is he only who forgiveth all our iniquities, healeth all our diseases, and saveth our lives from destruction: Since it is he that bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroke of their wound: Since it was he that promised to penitent judah, that he would restore comforts to him and to his mourners: Since it is he alone who is the salvation of Israël: Since it is he that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her, and to heal her of her wounds: I will resolve therefore, with the people of Israel, to return unto him; for he hath torn me, and he alone can heal me; he hath smitten me, and he alone can bind me up. To him, to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soul; and to him will I willingly submit my weak, and feeble body. I will pour out my soul unto him; I will send up my supplications unto him, and will pray and say. The Prayer. Great Creator, full of compassion; who both sendest sickness, and restorest health; be thou graciously pleased (I most humbly beseech thee) to turn thy wrath from thy distressed servant. Thy hand, o Lord, is heavy upon me in this languishing consumption; and the sting of my transgressions pierceth me with sharp, and grievous torments. Yet I must confess, o my God, that my sufferances do not any ways equal mine offences; nor can the pains which I endure satisfy thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions. O, my sins are upon me, Eze: 33.10. and I pine away in the punishment for them; how then shall I live? My body languisheth, my flesh consumeth; Ps: 22.15. Ps: 39.11. job: 33 19 vers: 20 and now am I very near drawn unto the dust of death. Thou with thy rebukes dost correct me for mine iniquities; thou makest my beauty to consume away like a moth. I am chastened with pain upon my bed, and the multitude of my bones with strong pain, so that my life abhorreth bread, and my soul the dainty meat that is to be desired. vers: 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seen; and my bones that were not seen, vers. 22 stick out. My soul draweth near unto the grave; and my life to the destroyers. But yet I know that with thee, o God, is compassion, Mat: 9.12. and tender mercies. The whole have no need of the Physician; but such as I, who am sick, and in misery. O that it might be said of me as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus, Io: 11.3. even that She whom thou lovest is sick. O my God make me thy friend in heart and soul, and grant that I may express it in my dutiful obedience to all thy commandments: and then be thou my friend in thy succour and relief. Ps: 41.1 vers. 2. Deliver me now in this time of trouble; preserve me, and (If it may be thy good pleasure) keep me alive; make me blessed upon the earth, and deliver me not over into the hands of death. vers. 3. Lord strengthen me upon this my bed of languishing: make thou, & turn thou all my bed in my sickness. Thou hast chastened me sore; Ps. 118.18. Ps. 116.8. vers. 9 Ps. 143.6. o give me not over unto death; but deliver my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling, that I may walk before thee in the land of the living. Unto thee, o my God, do I stretch forth my hands: my soul thirsteth for thee as a thirsty land. vers: 7. Hear me speedily, o Lord; my spirit faileth: hid not thy face from me, for I am become like unto them that go down into the pit. Thou hast promised by thine Apostle, Iam: 5.15. that the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and that thou wilt raise him up. Lord I pray unto thee; strengthen thou my faith: I am sick Lord; raise thou me up, and make good unto me, that, thy promise by thy holy Apostle. Heale me, o Lord, Ier: 17.14. and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved; for thou art my praise. O Lord I call upon thee; Ps: 141.1. hast thee unto me; consider my voice now I cry unto thee, and restore me to health. But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of me, o my jesus cleanse thou me by thy blood, and cure my soul by the merits of thy passion. My sins, I must confess, are the cause of my sickness: but do thou, o God, Ps. 44.22. blot out as a thick cloud my transgressions, & as a cloud my sins: return unto me, for thou hast redeemed me. O give me patience in this time of adversity; give me comfort in the examples of thy mercy; and give me assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sickness unto me. As my body doth daily draw nearer to the earth, so make my soul also daily draw nearer unto heaven. If it may be thy pleasure to restore me to health again; o let it be thy mercy also to renew mine obedience. But if thou art resolved by this disease to free me from the labours of this wearisome world, and to bring me down to my grave; for thy Christ's sake, o my merciful and indulgent father, bring thou my soul into thy celestial paradise. O grant that my sins may consume fare faster than doth my flesh: and as thou takest away the strength of my body, so be pleased to add unto the strength of my faith. I am thine, o Saviour, and cost thee dear, even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body: be thou also mine, o jesus, both now and for ever. Abate the temptations ●… Satan; and arm me with strength to resist his suggestions. Ravish my soul with the love of thyself, that so I may with willingness forsake the vanities of this world; with readiness lay down this tabernacle of flesh; and with comfort, that my soul may meet thee my God, and my merciful Redeemer. O God comfort me: O Christ strengthen me: O jesus save me. Prepare me for the happy hour of my deliverance from this world: and then bring me out of this valley of tears to those waters of comfort, where I may sing triumphantly to the honour of thy name, through jesus Christ my Lord, and my Redeemer. Amen. subject 25 THE TWENTIE-FIFTH SUBjECT. Tears of a mother on her deathbed blessing her children. The soliloquy Consisting of two parts: viz: 1 Her preparation to bless them. 2 The blessing itself; ending in a prayer. part 1 The First part of the soliloquy, being her preparation to bless them. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. CHildren are an heritage of the Lord (saith the Psalmist); Ps: 127.3. and the fruit of the womb is his reward. True indeed, they come from the Lord; and happy are they if they return unto him. Gracious hath my God been to me in the loan of my issue: but unless he shall be pleased to add grace unto nature, his blessing will be fearfully converted into a curse. Weakness possesseth my body; faintness my spirits; 2. Tim. 4.6. and the time of my departure is near at hand. Go I must, yea and I am willing and joyful to meet my God: but oh the thought of my children disturbeth my mind; and the consideration of what may become of them, filleth my dying heart with cares and anxjeties. If they live not in the fear of him who lent them unto me, my poor issue may become the fuel of hell. What shall I do? If I should live, I would take such care (by the blessing of my God) as that I might be a means to nurture them up in the fear of the most high: but if I am taken away from them, who can tell what their education may prove? Stranger's may govern them, and such people (for aught I know) may undertake their tuition, as may neglect the care of religious instructions, and suffer them to run headlong to the gulf of perdition. O what a curse would it prove beyond expression, if that part of myself which is divided into little ones, if those which cost me so many pangs and throws, should be disobedient to my God, and so be sentenced to the flames of eternal horror! Alas I can do no more than what the Lord will permit me. While I am here I am bound both by nature and grace to endeavour my utmost for their holy advantage: but when I shall be dissolved, & lie in the cold clods of my mother earth, then can no more care be expected from me. Ah my poor infants; little do they think how they will miss their mother; and wish me alive again, as if they envied my happiness. Hither and thither they may be tossed and tumbled; and (which is worst of all) they may be brought up in ignorance, or in lewdness, and sensuality. Me thinks I see the frowns of a stepmother, and the knitted brows menacing nothing but cruelty and tyranny: and then, me thinks, they weep in one corner, and lament in another; & bemoan their hard hap in the loss of myself. Their hungry bellies may be pinched with famine, their bodies with cold, and their backs with stripes when I shall not either hear, or see, or know it, my head being laid in the low and silent grave. Help they may call for, when none will have the pity to render them help. So they may want and cry, and be beaten and cry, and be turned out of doors and cry, when yet neither mercy will hear, nor charity hearken to the complaints of the motherless. But why do I spend so many of these swift minutes of my short continuance in such pensive, melancholic, and distrustful thoughts and fears of what may happen? True it is that these, and others, yea and worse inconveniences may happen to their bodies, and yet they may prove the children of the Most high. That, o that, is all that I aim at: for though I would not willingly have them suffer in their bodies; yet I would not for a thousand worlds that they should suffer in their souls. Hunger, and thirst, and stripes, and nakedness may be endured; and in time, either age, or wealth, or friends may free them from these outward sufferances: but ignorance and ungodliness (without the infinite mercies, and goodness of my Redeemer) will be punished with torments that shall never have end. O what shall I do then for my poor distressed children? Grieve I do; but I fear that I offend in it: mourn I do; but I doubt it is more than indeed I ought. God is not weak, or ignorant, or impotent. He hath been a father to me from the time of my conception; and shall I yet distrust in his providence and protection of my children? This were either to suspect his power, or to deny his mercy. I know it is his desire that they should be heirs of salvation; and I know that he can effect whatsoever he desireth. To him therefore I will leave them; to his care and tuition I will refer my tender and beloved plants. And that he may the more willingly become their guardiaen when I shall leave them, while I live I will beseech him with abundance of my tears to admit them his servants. The wife of Zebideus made a bolder request to my gracious Redeemer: Mat: 20.21. for she be sought him that those her two sons might sit, the one on his right hand, and the other on his left, in his Kingdom. vers. 22 She poor woman (as Christ replied) did not know what she asked. She knew not that the Kingdom of Christ was celestial; but dreamt of an earthly diadem and glory. Her request was therefore the fuller both of boldness and ambition, whom no place would serve for those her children, but what was highest and next to supremest majesty. Yet me thinks I cannot much blame her for her love to them whom so dear she had bought. There is no earthly love to be compared to the love of a woman; nor is any woman's love to be compared to the love of a mother. Surely David did not know how strong this passion of love is in the weaker vessels, when he said, The love of jonathan to him was wonderful, 2. Sam. 1.26. passing the love of women. We mothers are like unto the chariot of King Solomon whereof though the pillars were of silver, Cant: 3 10. and the bottom of gold, and the covering of purple; yet the midst thereof was paved with love for the daughters of jerusalem. Is: 49.15. Can a woman (saith God) forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion. on the son of her womb? 'Tis very rare indeed, and yet it is possible: for he himself doth say that they may forget. Yet seldom is love forgotten in the mother of children, Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death: vers. 7. for many waters cannot quench it, neither can the floods drown it. Much therefore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sons. All that she erred in was both in the thing she requested, and in the person to whom she tendered her petition. Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my merciful Saviour, that he will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones. It is a petition more proper for me then here's was for her; for she was living, and might have been a comfort unto them: but I am dying; I am leaving the world; I lie drawingon, and waiting for that blessed hour of my Saviour's coming. All that is left me now to do is only to bless them before my departure: and this is the best legacy that I can bequeath unto them. I must, I will bless them by the leave and favour of my God; yet not as from myself, but only from God: not as thinking that my power can purchase their happiness; but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them. Thus by faith did dying jacob bless both the Sons of joseph, Heb. 11 21. and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staff. Thus old Isaak said unto Esau his Son, Gen. 27 2. vers. 3. Behold now I am old, I know not the day of my death: now therefore take I pray thee thy we opons, thy quiver, and thy bow, and go out to the field, and take me some venison; vers: 4. and make me savoury meat, such as I love, and bring it to me that I may eat, that my soul may bless thee before I die. Thus Isaak blessed jacob, and said, c: 28.3. God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people. c. 49.28. Thus jacob blessed the twelve tribes when he spoke unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them. c: 31.55. Thus Laban even in the time of his health risen up, early in the morning; and kissed his Sons and his daughters, and blessed them; and then departed, and returned to his place. Yea thus even Moses (who was but a leader of the people, and not so nearly linked unto them by the bonds of nature) blessed them, and said, Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as ye are, and blessed you as he hath promised you. Thus the same Moses again, drawing near to the time of his leaving the world, c. 33.1. with his blessing did bless the children of Israel before his death. Thus when the days of David drew near that he should die, 1. King 2.1. he gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Son Solomon. And no marvel, since it is most true that he whom God blesseth is blessed, Num: 22.6. and he whom he curseth is cursed. The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things, jam. 1.17. that he may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue. Me thinks therefore the words of Samuel which he said unto the people, do take a deep impression in my breast: 1. Sam. 12.23. for he said, God forbidden that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you. With leave then of my God I will see my children, and I will kiss them as Laban did his and I will likewise bless them, The Lord direct me in my prayers for them; and the Lord accept my prayers, & grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them. part 2 The Second part, being the benediction or blessing itself; ending in a prayer. MY dearest children, ye whom I love in the tender & yerning bowels of affection; draw near, and attend to the words of your dying mother. A weak woman ye see I am; but yet sinful I am, which peradventure ye see not. O weep not, my pretty ones: do not pierce and break my troubled heart with your sad laments. I must die, my little ones, and go to a better place, whither ye I hope shall one day follow me. We came not together into the world; nor shall we go together out of it. In vain do ye shed those tears of sorrow: for although nature teacheth you to bewail my departure, yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning. My heart even bleede's to leave you behind me, fearing lest ye will forget the commandments of your God. I should be sorry to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites; yet I will put you in mind of his words. Deut. 31.27. Behold (said he) while I am yet alive with you this day, ye have been rebellious against the Lord; vers. 29 & how much more after my death? I know that after my death ye will utterly corrupt yourselves, and turn aside from the way which I commanded you; and evil will befall you in the latter days, because ye will do evil in the sight of the Lord, Heb. 6.9. to provoke him to anger through the work of your hands. But I am persuaded better things of you and things that accompany salvation, though I thus speak. O my dear ones, harken unto the words which I shall say. They must be my legacy unto you: hear me with patience; and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting, your dying mother. How dear ye cost me before ye had life; and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before ye were heard or seen in the world, ye cannot imagine, nor I express. Yet all was forgotten for joy that ye were borne; joa: 16.21. and hoping that ye would add unto the choir of Saints. To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your souls & bodies; and for your sustentation (so much as in me lay) from the breast to this instant. O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times; and how many hours have I borrowed from my sleep in the nights, to think what would become of you, if ye should not be obedient to the commandments of my God To the same God they are best known. O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happiness; and wept, and mourned when ye have done what ye ought not! To him is it best known to whom I now am going. Sometimes when ye have offended, I was enforced to correct you: but each stripe which ye received did cut me into the heart. In many things ye failed, because ye were young: and in many things I failed too, because I am a weak and a sinful woman. If at any time ye thought that I did not my duty, take heed that hereafter ye remember it not to my dishonour. Ponder in your minds that curse which wretched Ham the father of Canaan received from Noah, when he saw his nakedness and told his brethren. Gen: 9.25. Cursed (said Noah) be Canaan: a servant of servants shall he be to his brethren. But because Shem and japhet took a garment, vers: 23 & laid it upon their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father, and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness; therefore he said, Blessed be the Lord God of Shem, vers: 26 vers: 27 and Canaan shall be his servant. God shall enlarge japhet, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem, & Canaan shall be his servant. Consider with yourselves that I am your mother. Whatsoever imperfections ye have discovered in me, do in some kind reflect even upon yourselves: for as your bodies were mine, so my credit and good name you must account to be yours. But I cannot think that ye will need more advice for this, which even nature itself should teach you to practise. My time is but short; my speech beginneth to sail me. I will not trouble you with much, although something more I must say unto you, which I hope ye will remember when I shall sleep in the dust. Your first and chiefest duty must always be for the service of your God. If ye will daily observe the benefits which he sendeth you, ye cannot choose but thank him daily for his blessings. Let it be your care to ground your actions upon his written law. Undertake nothing which is not warranted by his word: and go forward in nothing by unlawful means, or to a bad intent. Begin all in him, and continue in him, and end in him; and he himself will be your reward. If ye always preserve religion in your hearts, ye will always have quietness and content in your minds. First make him your God, and then distrust not his providence; Noah nor his love and compassion while ye remain his children. In whatsoever vocations ye shall lead your lives, be sure that ye be conscionably industrious and laborious in them; & then leave the event and the blessing to his good pleasure. I would feign have you be his children much more than ye are mine: for ye have nothing from me but your sin and corruption; but from him you must expect both grace and glory. If therefore ye strive to bless and magnify your God, ye may be sure that your God will both bless and glorify you his children. Prov. 10.22. Remember that the blessing of the Lord maketh rich; and he addeth no sorrow with it. Take heed therefore to yourselves, & let him be in all your thoughts; for even for them ye must account at his great tribunal. Take heed unto your words, that they give none offence either to God or man. Ps: 62.4 There is a sort of people who bless with their mouths, but they curse in their inward parts. I would not have you be of the number of them: Ps: 109 17. for as they love cursing, so it shall happen unto them: they delight not in blessing, therefore shall it be fare from them. vers: 18 As they cloth themselves with cursing like as with a garment, so it shall come into their bowels like water, and like oil into their bones. Take heed also unto your actions, that there be not wickedness in the intent, nor sin in the prosecution of them: for howsoëver they shall appear in the eye of the world, they will be strictly & justly examined by the righteous judge. First be ye sure that ye bless your God, and then ye may expect a blessing from him. Deut: 8 10. When ye have eaten and are full, than ye shall bless the Lord your God. 1. Chr● 29.20. Remember the congregation of Israël, how they blessed the Lord God of their fathers, and bowed down their heads, and worshipped the Lord. Neh: 9.5. Remember how the Levites encouraged the people unto it, and said unto them, Stand up, and bless the Lord your God for ever and ever; and blessed be thy glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing, and praise. Remember how the Psalmist moved them unto it when he cried, Ps. 66.8 O bless our God ye people, and make the voice of his praise to be heard: be thankful unto him, Ps: 100.4. and bless his name. Remember how David resolved saying, Ps: 16.7 I will bless the Lord which hath given me counsel. Remember how he decreed saying, I will bless thee while I live, Ps: 63.4 I will lift up my hands in thy name. Remember how he encouraged his soul to this duty, saying, Ps: 103 1. Bless the Lord o my soul; and all that is within me bless his holy name: vers. 2. Bless the Lord o my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; vers. 3. who healeth all thy disease. Remember how he practised it when he bless the Lord before all the congregation, 1. Chr: 29.10. and said, Blessed be thou Lord God of Israël our father for ever and ever. vers. 11 Thine o Lord is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty; for all that is in the heaven, and in the earth is thine: thine is the Kingdom o Lord, and thou art exalted as head above all. vers. 12 Both riches and honour come from thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all: Now therefore our God we thank thee, vers 13 and praise thy glorious name. And remember how Ezra blessed the Lord, Neh. 8.6. the great God; and all the people answered Amen Amen with lifting up their hands; and they bowed their heads, and worshipped the Lord, with their faces to the ground. Thus if ye bless him, if ye love him, if ye honour him, if ye obey him, he will so bless you that ye shall delight in his service, and be filled with his goodness. Carry in your minds those words of the Psalmist, Ps. 128.1. Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walkeeh in his ways: For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: vers. 2. happy shalt thou be, Ier: 17.7. and it shall be well with thee. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. Gen. 25 11. Remember how after the death of Abraham, God blessed his Son Isaak. So he may you, and so he will you, when I, your poor feeble mother, am stretched forth and returned to the earth; if ye will hear his ●…yce, and observe his statutes. If so ye will ●oe, Deut: 14.29. than the Lord your God will bless you in ●ll the works of your hands which ye shall do. He who created man in his own image both ●ale and female and blessed them; Gen. 1.27. even the same Lord will bless you if ye be righteous; verse 28 Ps. 5.12 Ps: 115.13. 2. Tim: 4.6. and ●ith favour he will compass you as with a shield. He will bless them that fear him, both small and great. And now my children I have not much more to say to you; for the time of my departure is at hand. If ye do hearty love your God I know that ye will affectionately love each other: ye will be observant to your guardians, and instructours: ye will be courteous unto all. Be not dismayed at any cross, or affliction; at any loss, or poverty which may fall upon you: Mat: 6.33. Deut: 28.8. Ex: 23.25. but seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and then all other things shall be added unto you. Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you, both in your storehouses, & in all that ye set your hands unto. He shall bless your bread, and your water; Duty 28.3. and take away sickness from the midst of you. Blessed shall ye be in the city, and blessed shall ye be in the field. vers. 4. Blessed sha● be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds, and the fruits of your cattles, and the increase of your kine, and the flocks of your sheep: vers. 5. Blessed shall be your basket, vers. 6. and your store. Blessed shall ye be when ye come in, and blessed shall ye be● when ye go forth. c. 7.13. The Lord will love you● and will bless you, and multiply you; bu● will also bless the fruit of the womb unto you, and the fruit of your land, and your corn, and your wine, and your oil, and the increase of your kine, and the flocks of your sheep in the places where ye shall live. c. 28.12. He will open unto you his good treasure; the heaven to give the rain unto your land in his season, and to bless all the work of your hands: Gen. 49.25. and ye shall lend unto many, and ye shall not borrow. He shall help you, and bless you with the blessings of heaven above; blessings of the deep that lieth under; and blessings of the breasts, & of the womb. And that he may thus bless you, the same Lord direct your hearts, & preserve you in his blessing. All that I can do now, is to pray for you; and my weakness will hardly permit me to do that: yet so long as I can speak I trust I shall pray; and in my petitions remember both myself and you. While I am yet alive it is my duty to pray for you; and it is your duty also to pray for me. The Lord grant that we may all do what he requireth at 〈◊〉 hands. Do not ye grieve too much that I am so near my rest: for it is the decree of ●…y God, and the longing expectation of my wearied self. The Lord give you patience to ●ndure this affliction: and the Lord give me patience, and perseverance unto the end. Now I go the way of all the earth: 1. King 2.2. Keep ye the Charge of the Lord your God, to walk in his ways; to keep his statutes, vers. 3. and his commandments, and his judgements, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Scriptures; that ye may prosper in all that ye do, and whithersoëver ye turn your hands. The Lord give you the blessing of judah, Deut. 33.7. and ●eare your voices; and let your hands be sufficient for you; and let him be an helper to you from your enemies. and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin: vers. 12 The Lord cover you all the day long, and dwell between your shoulders. And the Lord give you the blessing of joseph: vers. 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the precious things of heaven; for the dew; and for the deep that coucheth beneath; vers. 14 and for the precious fruits brought forth by the Sun; vers. 16 and for the precious things put forth by the Moon; and for the precious things of the earth, and fullness thereof; and for the good will of him that dwelled in the hush. The eternal God be your resuge, vers. 27 and underneath you the everlasting arms. 2. Sam. 7.26. And now, o Lord God, let it please thee to bless the house of thy servant, Vers. 29 and with thy blessing let● family of thy servant be blessed for ever. Deut. 26.15. ps. 67.1 L●… down from thine holy habitation from hair and bless them. O my God he merciful u● them, and bless them, and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them. And now (with jacob) I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you; Gen. 49.33. and ready I am to gath●… up my feet into the bed, and to yield up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers. On●… come ye near my dear ones, that I 〈◊〉 kiss you, and that my cold and clammy ha●… may be laid upon your heads, that I may once more bless you and die. Farewell my pretty ones: farewell the children of my dear affection. 2. Cor. 13.11. I must leave you; and I hope I shall leave my God with you, who will be unto you a father of mercies, and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more farewell. 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23. Love as brethren; and the God of love and peace be with you. The Lord jesus Christ be with your spirits. Grace be with you all. Amen. subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT. Tears of a dying woman; wherein is set down her religious exercises. 1 A soliloquy; in which is set forth. 1 A desire of life. 2 The certainty of death. 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death. 3 A prayer of the sick. 4 The consolation of the godly in the hour of death. 5 The resignation of the soul into the hands of God. exercise 1 ●he soliloquy: wherein is set forth. part 1 1. A desire of life. THE EjACULATION. ●sal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation: vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. When Ahazia had fallen down through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2. that was in Samaria, and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall; he sent messengers to inquire of Baalzebub the God of Ekron whether he should recover of that dangerous sickness? Every one desireth a foreknowledge of events, that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue. Herein, me thinks, we endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker, labouring unjustly for his attribute of prescience. But if we desire what he forbiddeth, we seek but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires. Of some things he often permitteth us a foreknowledge; and somethings again he hideth from us; that so both by ou● knowledge we may conjecture at what a blessing we should have enjoyed, had not Adam transgressed; and also that by our ignorance we may learn to depend upon God. Some things we think we can certainly foresee, consulting with reason about those causes and effects which are merely natural: but yet we often fail in our expectations, either through the defect of reason; or the indisposition and weakness of the second causes; or else, yea and most chiefly by the order of the Most High. Yet some are so fond as to magnify their reason, and thereupon ground a necessity of events; not well considering that Although this reason obligeth men, yet it tieth not him who is fare above both reason and nature. Some again in their curiosity prying too nearly into things to come, borrow their assistance from the Prince of the air; accounting their knowledge an excellency not tied to the laws of religion. Thus did that wicked King Ahazia: but (contrary to his expectation) he received an answer from a Prophet of the Lord: vers. 6. for Elijah said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Therefore thou shalt not come down from that bed on which thou art gone up, but shalt surely die. O what a dreadful sentence was this! Especially to him who sought to the Devil, that liar, for his knowledge; but received such an answer from God who could not deceive. Thus am I gone up to my bed too, as was that bruised King: I am tormented with sickness, and I languish in a disease. O what shall I do? Feign, me thinks I would be certified how long I have to live: feign I would live; Ps: 39.4 and yet I am not certain of life. I am not ready for death; and yet I am hearty afraid that I shall find this death too ready for me. But why should I not die? Am I not disturbed with heats and colds; with weakness and feebleness? Am I not in a world that giveth no content? That can neither bond my desires, nor yet afford what I seek? While I am here I am subject to miseries every moment. When I shall be gone, this faintness and weakness, these troubles and perturbations shall forsake my weak and infirm body. But what then? When my body shall sleep in the silent grave, shall it continue there for ever? Or shall the soul have a decay, and yield to corruption together with my body of clay, and earth? No, Noah: nothing less. The body shall indeed lie down in the dust; but yet it shall one day be summoned to rise again: but the soul is eternal; it shall continue for ever. For ever it shall rest in continual peace; or for ever it shall be tormented in everlasting flames. No merveile then, o my sorrowful soul, that thou art unwilling to leave this tabernacle of flesh, since thou knowest not whither thou shalt fly at thy departure. But why should not I as well hope for felicity, as dread those torments, when my life shall end? Do I ask Why? The reason is too plain. What good can I expect from the hands of him, whom I have never loved; whom I have never obeyed? Those whom he crowneth with heavenly bliss, are they who sought for it in a miserable life. But I have so lived upon earth as if earth should continue; and I have made choice of this world for the seat of my happiness. But now, alas, to my woe I find, that earth can neither afford any true content, nor yet a continuance of that which I accounted good. What now shall I do? O whither shall I betake myself, that I may be partaker of those joys which are the inheritance of the godly? Num. 23.10. Feign I would die the death of the righteous; and I wish that my last end might be like unto his. But is this a desire easy to be granted? Alas, had I lived the life of the righteous, I might then have been sure I should have died the death of them. But that, o that is it which pricketh me at the heart. I have lived in sensuality, and this evil day hath been out of my remembrance; so that I cannot comfort myself with the smallest hope of what I so eagerly covet. But what then? Is there no remedy at all, but that I must have the bitter portion with the damned in hell? God forbidden. He who hath forborn me so long when I went on in my wickedness, may yet (if he please) afford me his mercy. It is not above his power; nor will it eclipse his glory. It was once his free promise to a thief even dying upon the cross, Lu: 23.43. 2. Cor. 1.20. This day shalt thou be with me in paradise. His promises also are sure: they are in him yea, and in him Amen: I doubt not therefore but his mercy was as great as his word was sure. Thus he saved one, which forbiddeth me despairing: yet it was but one, which forbiddeth me presuming. But surely it can be no presumption to build upon his goodness. He delighteth not in the death of a sinner. What good can the condemning of me do either to him, or his creatures? True it is that his justice maybe magnified by it; but yet it will add no glory to his mercy. Again, there are but a few in heaven to sing forth his praises; but infinite millions in hell and destruction dishonour him in their blasphemies. In heaven, me thinks, there is one too few, until I shall come thither to add to the number. In hell, me thinks, there would be one too many, if I should be thrown into that gulf of perdition. O my God since thou hast vouchsafed me the knowledge of a heaven, yea and of thee the Lord of heaven and earth; although my knowledge be imperfect, & thou art offended; yet for the merits of thy Son be pleased to make me a citizen of heaven. Rev: 21 27. It is most true that there shall in no wise enter into that place any thing that defileth, neither whatsoëver worketh abomination, or maketh a lie; but they only which are written in the Lamb's book of life. Upon these terms my hopes indeed do languish, and grow more faint than my feeble body. But who is that which condemneth the wicked? Is it not he who likewise calleth the wicked, and inviteth them to mercy? Is it not he who telleth me by his Prophet, and saith it himself, Eze: 18 21. If the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, Vers. 22 & do that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live, he shall not die: All his transgressions that he hath committed they shall not be mentioned unto him. vers. 23 Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? Saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his ways, and live? O who is more wicked than I? Who more sinful than I? My life hath been nothing but a continued rebellion; and my time hath been wasted in nothing but disobedience. Yet while I have life I have hope. If I can but know mine iniquities, and get a sorrowful spirit for them, and rend my heart, and amend my life, joël: 2.13. and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer; I may then assure myself that he will correct me with judgement, Ier: 10: 24. and not in his anger. I know that die I must; but in him I earnestly desire to die. When I was in health, I thought not of mortality: and therefore now I am in sickness, I can scarce so much as hope for immortality. But I will beseech him to spare me a little, that I may repent, Ps: 39.13. before I go hence, and be no more seen. I feign would live; not that I might add to my sins, but that I might be sorry for my sins. I would feign continue here a little longer, that so I might make my peace the surer. Long I have continued in wickedness: o my God spare me a little time to spend in contrition. If I may enjoy my life but for a little longer space, I will resolve (by the grace of my God) to dedicate it wholly to the service of him: and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure, I will beseech him (if it may stand with his immutable decree) to lend me a little more time, wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him. My time of death indeed seemeth to draw nigh; and yet I do not consider, or at least I have not considered, that all this time which I have lived I have been truly dead. Surely thus I have been; for so saith King Solomon, Prov. 21.16. The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding, shall remain in the congregation of the dead. Thus have I been dead, even in trespasses and sins: justly therefore now my life doth hasten away, Eph: 2.1. and my death approacheth. I am now laid upon my bed of sorrow: Not as the unchaste Amnon was, 2. Sam. 13.5. who lingered after an unclean enjoying of his sister Tamar, only counterfeiting a sickness: Nor like the covetous Ahab, 1. King 21.4. who vexed himself because Naboth had denied to sell him his vine-yard: 2. Sam. 4.7. Nor like Ishbosheth, ready to be slain by a Rechab and a Baanah; unless my sins, and my sickness the effect of my sins, be that Rechab and that Baanah: But languishing I lie, almost despairing of recovery by reason of the weakness of my near consumed body and spirits, through the sharpness of my disease. Is: 14.11. My pomp is even brought down to the grave, and the noise of my viols: the worm is spread under me, and the worms are ready to cover me. But let me say with holy job: job: 10 20. Are not my days few? Cease then, o my God, and let me alone, that I may take comfort a little, vers. 21 Before I go whence I shall not return, even to the land of darkness, and the shadow of death: A land of darkness, vers. 22 as darkness itself; and the shadow of death without any order, and where the light is as darkness. There is no work, nor device, Eccl. 9.10. Ps: 6.5. knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave whither I am going. In death there is no remembrance of thee, o my God; in the grave who shall give thee thank's? Ps: 115.17. Is: 38.18. The dead praise not thee, o Lord; neither any that go downeinto silence. The grave cannot praise thee; death cannot celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth. vers: 19 The living only, the living, he shall praise thee; the father to the children shall make known thy truth. Thou thyself hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead, Matt: 22.32 Ps: 88.10. vers. 11 but of the living: wilt thou then show wonders to the dead? Shall the dead arise and praife thee? Shall thy loving kindness be declared in the grave? Or thy faithfulness in destruction? vers. 12 Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? And thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? Consider then, Ps: 13.3 Ps: 69.15. and hear me, o Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, that I sleep not in death. Let not the water-flood overflow me; neither let the deep swallow me up; and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me. Hear me, o Lord, vers: 16 for thy loving kindness is good: turn unto me, according to the multitude of thy tender mercies. 1. Sam: 2.6. Thou art he who dost both kill, and make alive; who bringest down to the grave, 2. King 4.20. & bringest up again. When the Shunamite's child had sat on his mother's knees until noon, vers. 21 it then departed: but she went up, and laid him on the bed of the man of God, vers: 32 and shut the door upon him, and went out. And when Elisha was come into the house, behold the child was dead, and laid upon his bed: vers. 33 he went in therefore, and shut the door upon them twain, and prayed unto thee, my great and powerful God: vers. 35 And the child neezed seven times; and the child opened his eyes. Mat: 9.18. When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour, and said, My daughter is even now dead; but come and lay thine hand upon her, and she shall live: vers: 25 Then he went in, and took her by the hand, and the maid arose. O my God, to thee I submit myself: do with me as thou pleasest. In thy power it is to spare me for a while. It will not be harder for thee to restore me to health, than it was to restore the dead unto life. Feign I would live longer that I may repent more. Lord, if it be thy pleasure, add yet some more days unto my life: restore me to health; and make me praise thee for thy mercies. Longer I would not live, unless thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience: and yet die I would not, unless thou shalt first be pleased to give me a sense of my sins, and a sorrow upon that sense, and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow. Thou art the potter, and I am the clay: already thou hast made me; and it is now in thy power either to break me into shards, or to preserve me whole. I, who have cried so much in the extremity of mine anguish, do now beseech thee with my tears to spare me. Mat. 8.8. O speak the word only, and thy servant shall be healed. But yet howsoëver I submit to thine own good pleasure. Lord (if it may be thy will) let the skill of my Physicians, and the power of my medicines, and whatsoëver shall be administered unto me, take a blessing from thee: &, if thou shalt restore me again, to thee and to thy service will I devote my life. My time shall be thine; my days thine; my thoughts, my words, and mine actions thine. So shall thy mercy be magnified, and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will set it forth from day to day. Ps: 96.2 part 2 The Second part of the soliloquy; wherein is set forth the certainty of Death. A Braham is dead, & the Prophets are dead; and my Saviour Christ said. Io: 8.52 If a man keep my say, he shall never taste of death. At this the jews were very much stumbled; and me think's they had some colour for their contention about it. For if Abraham were dead, Rom. 4 11. Iam: 2.23. Gen: 22 18. Lu: 1.70. who was the father of the faithful; who was the friend of God; he in whose seed all the nations of the earth were promised a blessing, because he obeyed the voice of the Lord: And if the Prophets were also dead, those holy Prophets which have been since the world began, and by whom the Lord did reveal his pleasure unto the people: If all these were dead, well might the jews wonder when our Saviour said, If a man keep my saying he shall never taste of death. Well indeed they might wonder; for ignorance is the cause of all our merveiles. Did we but know a certain reason for every event, we should never wonder at that which happeneth; but we should magnify the first & greatest cause, which is God. The jews wondered because they were ignorant; and supposed that our Saviour had spoken of a temporal death; whereas he meant that which is eternal. True it is that the temporal death is an effect and fruit of the first sin; but eternal death is the punishment of impenitency and infidelity: for those who both can, and truly do repent, neither can, nor shall be liable to an eternal death. Nay die they cannot in any kind: for this which we call a death, shall be to them but a deliverance; and that death which is a perpetual living death in the land of darkness, they shall be certainly freed from by the blood of the Son of God. Yet this passage, this sweet change in the godly, and also this gate which openeth to the ungodly the way to eternal woe, the Scripture doth commonly term a death: & this death cannot possibly be avoided by the children of Adam, Heb. 9.27. for it is appointed unto men once to die. 'Tis true, 'tis true indeed: I am ready to find it verified in myself: for the harbingers of this death have taken up my body, where it intendeth to lodge. The weakness of my limbs, and the faintness of my spirits, and the shortness of my breath, and the lowness of my voice, and the paleness of my cheeks, and the hollowness of mine eyes; all these do but assure me of the approaches of this death. But is there no resistance? Is there no reversing of the decree? No repealing of the statute? Alas Noah; none at all. This body which hath been pampered with the delicacy of meats, must now be slaughtered, and make a feast for the worms. These bones which have lain upon the beds of ease, must become as tables for the loathsome vermin: And this skin, this proud skin, which hath stolen so much time to employ in the suppling, and colouring, and smoothing, and covering of it, must serve like a cloth spread on these tables, whereon must be presented this collation for the worms. Short is my life: fleeting are my days: and my winged minutes fly with such speed, that I ca● hardly count them so fast as they consume. Whe● I enjoyed the most sound and beloved health, even than the shortness of my life was discovered in my breath: for I was entrusted only with a little air, which neither was in my power long to keep, nor long without it could I possibly continue. I was so false in my promises which I made unto my God, that he would not trust me long with the keepng but of a little of that element. I have always l●ved at the brink of death; and yet never seriously enough thought of that which now is ready to approach. I never thought indeed of the hour of my death, by a due preparation to entertain it when it should come. Nay, I fond imagined that it must of necessity keep the road of diseases, & sickness; whereas it might have hastened by ways unexpected. When I was healthful I grew so proud, that I imagined certainly it either could not, or durst not assail my body: and yet when I was afflicted with the smallest pain, than again I was so cowardly dejected, that I was afraid it hastened by each part and member. When I smarted, I was taken off from my pride; but the cure of that sin was an immoderate, and a slavish fear. But now I am well assured that neither strength, nor youth, nor beauty, nor physic, nor any thing else can secure our bodies from returning to the earth. True it is, that the dead know not any thing; Eccl: 6.5. neither have they any more a reward; for the memory of them is forgotten: but the living know that they shall die. c: 8.8. There is no man that hath power over the spirit, to retain the spirit: neither hath he power in the day of death. Wherefore then have 〈◊〉 so long lived in ignorance, or forgetfulness of mine end? If I had remembered it, I would have fitted and prepared mine accounts against the time it should come. If I had known it, I would have laboured to have made the judge my friend. But, o, I forgot it: for I increased my sins, and thought not of the debt: I was ignorant too, and knew not the terribloesse of the judg. Now, me thinks, these cold and clammy sweats do chiefly arise from my chiding conscience; and from the convulsions which there I suffer through the guilt of my sins. I never was so careless or ignorant of death, as I now am certain of it; yet afraid to die. Eccl: 12.7. job. 30.23. Now I am sensible that my dust shall return to the earth as it was. I know that the Lord will bring me to death, & to the house appointed for all the living. Die, say I? Yes. But must I die? Yes. But when? That I know not: many days or hours I cannot expect to live, who am already pined into the leanness of an Anatomy. But where must I die? That I know not neither: even in this bed it is most likely, where I now lie languishing in the torments of my disease. But how, or by what means must I die? Nor can I tell that; although this sickness seemeth to be dispatched hither for this very purpose. But if it be so sure that dye I must, is it likewise as sure to what place I shall go? O this question is the common troubler of the dying. There are but two havens where souls can arrive: the one is the holy land; the new jerusalem; the haven of eternal happiness: the other is a land too, but it is a land of darkness; a land of smokes, and stinks; a place of eternal horror. To the former the godly are wafted by a convoy of Angels: to the latter the un-godly are hurried and tumbled by cursed fiends, and staring ghosts. Here indeed the wicked spend their days in mirth: job. 21.13. Ps 49.14. but in a moment they go down to the grave. They are laid, like sheep, in the grave; death shall feed on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning: and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling. From thence there is no redemption. No, Noah: there is a great gulf; Lu: 16.26. 2. Pet. 3.12. and greater there will be, when the earth shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat. Then only heaven and hell shall remain; and from either of these there is no departure. The wicked would be freed out of hell, but cannot: the godly neither can, nor would be deprived of heaven. Lu: 16.26. Between us and you (said Abraham to Dives) there is a great gulf fixed, so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us which would come from thence. Dost thou hear that, o my perplexed soul? Dost thou know that thy sentence will be either Come thou blessed, or Depart thou cursed? Mat. 25 34. vers. 41 Dost thou consider that that sentence will be immediately, so soon as thou shalt take thy flight from my body? O my conscience, why hast thou not checked me for those sins of mine which have deserved the sentence of horror? O my soul, Ps: 89.48. why hast thou forgotten that thou must leave my body? Dye I must; for what man is he that liveth, and shall not see death? Shall he deliver his soul from the hand of the grave? The righteous and the reprobate, even both of them shall assuredly die: but the latter shall have a second death; the former by death shall enter into life. Ps: 1.4. The wicked shall be as chaff, which the wind driveth away from the face of the earth; and when they die, they shall be cast into un-quenchable fire: Mat: 3.12. Mat: 13 30. Io: 12.24. but the righteous shall be like the wheat, which shall be gathered into the barn. But first they must be sowed, before they be reaped. Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground, and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit. They die to sin in their regeneration; and they die by reason of sin, at their change: but this all is, that they may spring up in glory. Lord since I needs must die, let me die in thy favour, that I may live for ever in thy celestial Kingdom. Pardon all the sins I have committed; especially my forgetfulness of the time of my dissolution. So long as I live, let me repent me of my life, and remember my death. Give me as certain an assurance of a life in glory, as I know and am certain of a temporal death. So shall my life here be spent in sorrow for my sins; and by death I shall pass to those mansions of eternity. I know that I shall die; I beg that I may live. Let my sin here have a death in me; Col. 3.3. and let my soul hereafter have a life for ever with Christ in God. 2. A godly preparation against the minuit of death. MY soul is bowed down to the dust; Ps: 44.25. my belly cleaveth unto the earth; and that little all that is left of my declining body, hasteneth apace to the chambers of death. Me thinks I hear my great Creator speaking unto me as he did once to Hezekiah lying on his sick bed, Is: 38.1 and saying, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live. But what house is that which I must set in order? Is it my body? Alas I have no power to order that. I have referred it to the Physicians; and they instead of composing it, and regulating it for the recovery of my health, do but vex it with drags, and torment it with medicines. I feel the hand of death lying hard upon me, and seizing upon every part and member of my body. But if it be not the house of my body, is it then my household or family which I must set in order? To this indeed I am instructed even by common civility: for I have a journey to take; a long, and a fare journey; and never more shall I return to this place of misery. I must therefore bid my people farewell. I must give them a charge, and tell them what my pleasure, what my desire is they should perform in my absence: and that is only to be obedient to the laws of my God. But yet, me thinks, this is not all. There is yet another house which I must set in order: a house of fare more consequence to me then either of the other. The poor rotten house of my body is ready to fall, and to come to ruin by the storms of my sickness. Yet I strive to mend it, and to support it by the various potions, and several dose's prescribed me by the learned: but all I believe will not prevail: down it must, and fall into ashes. My family and household may long continue, although I depart, and leave them behind me. But all this while what have I done for my inner house? What course have I taken for my sinful soul, which must shortly appear at the great tribunal? That, o that, is the house which I must order, where the King of Kings doth look for entertainment. If that be not empty, Mat: 12 44. swept, and garnshed, it can never content my husband, my Lord, my jesus. First therefore by an humble confession I will empty it of all pollutions and uncleanesses which have long obscured themselves, and lurked in the corners: Then will I sweep it by repentance, watering it with my tears: and afterwards I will besiech my God to adorn and garnish it with his spiritual graces. Ps. 4.4. I now begin (I bless my God) to commune with mine own heart upon my bed, and to search out mine iniquities. O my God be pleased to give me a quick apprehension of all mine enormities. Sharpen my memory, and rouse up and awake my sleeping conscience, that I may muster up all my sins in order, and examine the wicked and sinful passages of my life. I will begin with mine infancy; and proceed through all the crooked turn and by-paths of my life, even unto this very minuit of my sorrow. I will search. 1. What sins I have committed? 2. How long they have dwelled with me? 3. What chide and contentions I had in my conscience for the committing of them? 4. How often I repent for them? 5. How true that repentance was? 6. What amendment did follow upon that repentance? 7. What thankfulness I rendered unto God for that repentance? 8. What joy I received in my new obedience? 9 What holy resolutions I made to continue in the way of the commandments? And when I have met with a sin, I will ●ever leave it till I have chased it away: till 〈◊〉 have done my best to wash off the stain with my sorrowful tears. Gen: 32 25. I will struggle with my God for the help of his grace; and will not leave him until he assureth me that my sin is blotted out by the blood of the Lamb. For every offence that I can remember, I will arise, and go to my father, Lu. 15.18. with the tears standing in mine eyes, and with drops of blood falling from my heart in an earnest & sharp compunction. In a loathing and detestation of myself for offending his Majesty I will humble myself, and fall at his feet; and with bashfulness and shame I will besiech him, saying, verse 18 vers. 19 Father I have sinned against heaven, and before thee; and am no more worthy to be called thy child: make me as one of thy hired servants. I know he will hear me, for so he hath promised and said Call upon me in the day of trouble; Ps: 50.15. I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me. And when he heareth, I am sure he will help too: Ps: 46.1 for he is my refuge, and strength; a very present help in trouble. And leave him I will not; leave crying I will not; leave weeping, and begging I will not, until I find that he● espieth me coming. Lu: 15.20. O now (I bless him) I find that he cometh to me, and armeth me with this resolution; & I find that I am coming unto him too, by the small sparks of gra●… which warm my resolution. But here I must not stay; on I must; follow him I will, and never leave him until he takes compassion of me, and runne's, and falls upon my neck, and kisseth me. vers: 22 I will not leave following him until he bringeth forth the best robe, even the robe of his son's righteousness; & putteth it upon me. I must have a ring too put upon my hand; Rom: 4 11. Lu: 15. vers: 23 a sealed ring; even the seal of the righteousness of faith in the merits of my Redeemer. I must also feed upon the fatted Calf; upon him who was sacrificed for my transgressions; even the Son of his bosom, who is fat as it were, and full of all divine virtues and abundance of grace, able to satisfy for the sins of the whole world. I will feed upon him in the participation of the holy sacrament and communion of his own most blessed body and blood. vers. 24 And when I eat I will be merry; for through faith I shall have an assurance that hereafter I shall be entertained at the supper of the Lamb in the Kingdom of my God. Reu: 19 9 Thus my ômissions, and thus my commissions; thus mine infirmities, and thus my presumptions shall be laid to his charge who is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the world. Io: 1.29 Unto him I will acknowledge my sins; Ps: 32.5 and mine iniquities I will not hid. I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and he shall forgive the iniquity of my sins, when I say unto him with a sorrowful Spirit, Ps. 41.4 Lord be merciful unto me: heal my soul, for I have sinned against thee. When I have thus confessed, job. 42 6. and abhorred myself in dust and asbes; I will then resolve for the time to come (by the grace of my God) and I will promise that I will take heed to my ways, that I sinne not against him; Ps: 39.1 or not willingly; or not continually; or howsoever not impenitently. Thus will I sweep, and sweeping I will weep, and weeping I will pray that for every unclean spirit which hath dwelled in my soul, I may now have this soul garnished with the divine and excellent graces of the Spirit of my God. By faith I will come unto thee o Christ, and call thee my jesus. By hope I will come unto you o ye blessed choir of Saints and Angels; and with you I will sing those ravishing hallelujahs. By charity I will reconcile myself to my offended brother. I will (as much as in me lieth) requite and satisfy my injured neighbour. I will freely freely remit the injuries I have received; certainly assuring myself that the offences which have been offered me (though never so high in mine own esteem) are not bad enough to be compared to the least trespass which I have committed against my God. And (as I am taught by the rules of charity) I will not only love my friends, to which I am prompted both by nature and civility, but mine enemies likewise I will love, as I am commanded by God. Yet (lest I mistake in my charity) my God a 'bove all I will both love and obey; and that for no other cause but only for himself. Next, and in order unto him, I will love my neighbour as myself. I will love the Lord for his power: I will love God for his wisdom: and I will love the Lord my God for his goodness. I will love the Lord, who created me by his power: I will love God, who instructeth me by his wisdom: I will love the Lord my God, who hath communicated his goodness to a creature so despicable. I will not only know my God, but I will also love him. I will not only fear him, but I will also love him. I will not only fear him as he is an omnipotent Lord, or honour him as he is God but I will also love him as he is Mine. Yea I will love him with all my heart, because he gave me a Being at my creation: I will love him with all my soul, because he preserveth me in this my being: I will love him with all my mind, because he hath created me a new, and given me a well-being by regeneration: and I will love him with all my strength, because I know assuredly that he will glorify me in the most excellent Being. I will lore him with all my heart, understandingly, without error: I will love him with all my soul, willingly, without contradiction: and I will love him with all my mind, treasuring him up in my memory, without forgetfulness. I will love him with all my heart, wisely, lest I be seduced by the suggestions of the devil: I will love him with all my soul, sweetly and delightfully, lest I be tempted by allurements of the flesh: and I will love him with all my strength, courageously, lest I sink under the pressures and heavy burdens of the world. I will love him with all my heart; for all my cogitations shall reflect upon him: I will love him with all my soul; for all my affections shall be directed to him: and I will love him with all my mind; for all my senses shall be obedient unto him. I will love him with all my heart, devoutly: with all my soul, discreetly: and with all my Mind, perseveringly. And when thus I have endeavoured to love my God ' then next in order unto him, and in obedience to his commands, I will love my neighbour as myself. I will love him with the same affection as myself: For his sake for whom I love myself, even for God's: For the same reason as myself; even for grace conferred in this life present, and for a certain hope of eternal glory in the life to come: In the same order as myself; which shall be above the world, but inferior to my God: Upon the same ground as myself; even because of the image of God imprinted in him; and because he is capable of immortal happiness: & lastly as long as myself; even from the beginning unto the end, until this frail flesh shall be forsaken by my pensive, my sad and sorrowful soul. And that my brethren, my neighbours may be the better assured of my love, which cannot be firm unless I accord with them in the same belief; Heb: 4.14. and that it may be known that (through the grace of my God) I hold fast the profession of my faith wherein I have lived, even the same which was taught by my Saviour and his Apostles according to the truth and purity of the same, without leaning either to profaneness, atheism, superstition, or any other error or heresy; and to the intent that they may join with me in thanksgiving to my God for preserving me in the same, and in prayer unto God that I may continue in the same both to the end, & in the end; I will therefore cheerfully, faithfully, and confidently rehearse the articles of my belief, and say. I believe in God the Father Allmighty, Maker of heaven and earth: and in jesus Christ his only Son our Lord, which was conceived by the holy Ghost, borne of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried, he descended into hell, the third day he risen again from the dead, he ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty, from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the holy Ghost, the holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen. Thus I believe, Lord help my unbelief; Mar. 9.24. Eph. 4.14. and grant that I may not be tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness. whereby they lie in wait to deceive: vers. 15 but that speaking and believing this truth in love, I may grow up unto him in all things, which is the head, even Christ my Redeemer. And that I may thus repent me of my sins, and continue in love, and persevere in the faith, and submit to his good pleasure, I will with a bended heart, and a sorrowful spirit, and weeping eyes pray unto him, and say. exercise 3 3. The Prayer of the sick. FAther of mercies, Lord of life; thou God which art a refuge in the time of trouble, Ps; 6.2. have mercy upon me, Ps: 143.4. for I am weak, and my heart with in me is desolate. A sinner I am, (I must confess it) not deserving thy mercy, a fowl, a grievous sinner I am, who have disobeyed thy statutes, and broken all thy commandments; and never have I set myself in any good way to seek my peace and reconciliation with thee. My conscience checks me, and my sins testify against me, and mine adversary the devil strjveth to pluck from me my confidence in thee. O Lord be thou my protector, and my gracious father. Be reconciled unto me in jesus Christ in whom alone thou art well pleased, Io: 16.23. and in whose name whatsoëver I shall ask of thee; I am sure thou wilt give it unto me. Heavenly Father do thou assist me, do thou comfort me in these my trp●… and afflictions: Ps: 60.11. o be thou my help in trouble, for vain is the help of man. To thee I cry, to thee I come with a panting heart, with a sorrowful soul, with an humble spirit. I have sinned, o I have sinned, and done amiss; and my portion might be justly therefore in the land of darkness, there to be tormented with the devil and his angels forever. But o thou who hast promised to heal all those that are broken in heart, Ps: 147 3. and to bind up their wounds; be reconciled unto me in the wounds of my Redeemer. Speak peace unto my conscience in this agony, Ps: 143.6. in this sorrowful and deep sighing for my scarlet sins. To thee, Ps; 143.6. and to thee alone I stretch forth my hands: to thee my soul gaspeth as a thirsty land. vers. 7. Hear me o Lord, & that soon, for my spirit waxeth faint: hid not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down to destruction. O let not these tears be refused, nor these groans be sighed and sobbed in vain: but by the power of his passion out of whose precious side did issue both water and blood, be thou reconciled unto me the unworthiest of thy creatures. Though my soul be deeply stained with the pollutions of my transgressions, yet his blood hath power to make it white as snow. On that remission of sins by his torments and sufferings do I wholly rely. Myself I abhor, job: 42.6. and repent in dust and ashes; my works I disclaim, for I know their unworthiness: on thee alone, o my jesus, I wholly depend, and by thee alone I hope for remission. Be thou my jesus, be thou my Saviour. Cure me by thy wounds; heal me by thy stripes; ease me by thy torments; comfort me by thine agony; refresh my fainting soul by thy bluodie sweat; revive me by thy death; and o Son of God and Saviour of the world, present me to thy father in the robe of thy righteousness. Ps: 94.13. Give me patience in this time of adversity that I may quietly and contentedly submit to thy good pleasure; rely upon thy mercy; be thankful for thy chastisement; and in all things so look up unto thee in this time of my sickness, that I may hereafter be raised to glory by the power of thy resurrection. This sickness (for aught I know) may be unto death; but in thee, I trust, it shall be a passage unto life. If thou hast passed the sentence of the first death upon me, decreeing to execute it by this my sickness, & to lay me in the dust by this present visitation; howsoever be pleased, o my father, for the worthiness of thy son to free met from the horror of the second death. Let me be found of thee in peace, 2. Pet: 3 14. Hab: 3.2. Is: 9.13 job. 3.25. Mich: 6 13. 1. Pet 4 19 Ps: 119.175. that it may clearly appear to me that thou art a God of truth, and in the midst of judgement remember'st mercy. Unto thee I turn, for thou hast smitten me; and the thing that I so greatly feared is fallen upon me. My body thou makest sick in smiting, by reason of my sins; yet in confidence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soul unto thee, as unto a faithful Creator. O let that live, and it shall praise thee, for in thee do I trust: let me not be confounded, neither let me despair of the greatness of thy mercies. Ps. 23.4. And though now I walk in the shadow of death; yet I know that it is in thy power to restore me to health. Lord (if it may stand with thy secret will) be pleased to recover me, that I may glorify thy goodness in thy work of power. Bless all the lawful means that shall be used for that purpose. Give skill to the Physicians, virtue to the medicines, strength to my spirits, and health to my body. Let me recover my strength, that I may employ it in thy service; and restore me to health, that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandments. But if otherwise thou hast determined, and resolvest at this time to make me as water spilt upon the ground; 2. Sam. 14.14. grant me a willing, and ready submission to thy decree. Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body, or increase my patience; that I may not offend thee in my sufferings. Make me to magnify thee, whether by life or by death: and grant me so safe a passage and conduct in the arms of thy mercy, that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosom. Grant this o father for the love and merits of thy Son jesus Christ my only intercessor and redeemer: in whose name & words I farther call upon thee, saying. Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them that trespass against us, & lead us not into temptation: but deliver us from evil; for thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory for ever and ever. Amen. exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hour of death. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery (saith holy job) and life unto the bitter in soul? job. 3.20. vers. 21 Which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures: vers. 22 Which rejoice exceedingly, and are glad when they can find the grave. This was the complaint of a faithful man, and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowful woman. I have grieved, and I have mourned for my sins: and my good God (I bless him for it) is graciously pleased in the bowels of his mercy and compassion to give me an assurance of happiness by the merits of my jesus. But when comest thou, o my sweet, my longed for, my desired Saviour? Thou knowest my pains, which draw from me many sinful thoughts, and un-fitting cries. Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversary, and his busy allurements to rob me of my hope. Thou seest how sometimes he would lead me into carnal security; and sometimes into a belief that my very vicet are virtues, or not seen by Thee, or not to be punished by thee: and sometimes again he striveth to hurry me into the very gulf of despair. But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevail against me; Mat. 16 18. Io: 13.1 Prov. 12.28. for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end. I know that in the way of righteousness there is life, and in the pathway thereof there is no death. Hence away therefore ye fowl fiends, and rebellious tempters. What do ye here fawning and grinning, hoping to betray a penitent soul? These tears which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sins, are too precious a water for you to hath in; too choice a wine for you to taste of: here are no hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent jesus. Though my groans, alas, cannot be free from the pollution of sin; yet they shall not advantage you in what ye desire. Ps. 119.115. Away from me ye wicked ones: I will keep the commandments of my God. Think not to affright me with my approaching death; Phil. 1.23. for I desire to be dissolved, and to be with Christ. Death I fear thee not: come, come, and try thy power; but know that thy countenance, which is so terrible to reprobates, is the producer of joy & comfort to my wearied heart. Thou poor, feeble, despised nothing, what power or strength is left thee to boast of? Grave why gapest thou, why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to triumph, Hos: 13 14. and conquer me? My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues, o death: my jesus did resolve to be thy destruction, o grave; and that repentance should be hid from his eyes. Is: 25.8 1 Cor: 15.54. He promised to swallow up death in victory, and to wipe away tears from off all faces. This he did promise, and this he hath performed: for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death itself is swallowed up in victory. Now I dare challenge you, o ye impotent and powerlesse adversaries: I dare scorn, vers: 55 and contemn you. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? Thy sting, o death, was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life. The strength of thy sting was that law which was fulfiled by my merciful jesus. Hos: 13 14. Ps: 49.15. Rom: 14.9. He, he hath ransomed me from the power of the grave, & hath redeemed me from death. He hath redeemed my soul from the power of hell, for he shall receive me. To this end he died and risen again, & re-vived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. Ps: 68.20. Ps. 48.14. Rom: 14 7. vers. 8. He that is my God is the God of salvation, unto whom belong the issues from death. This God is my God for ever and ever: he shall be my guide, even unto death. I live not to myself; nor do I die unto myself: for whether I live, I live unto the Lord; & whether I die, I die unto the Lord: whether I live therefore, Phil: 1.20. or die, I am the Lord's. Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life or by death: for to me to live is Christ, vers. 21 Heb. 12 18. verse 22 vers. 23 vers. 24 and to die is gain. I come not to the mount that might not be touched; nor to blackness, and darkness and tempest: but I come unto mount Zion, to the general assembly, and ●rch of the firstborn which are written in heaven; and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of just men made perfect; and to jesus the Mediator of the new covenant; and to the blood of sprinkling, that speaketh better things then that of Abel. Rev. 2.10. 1. Cor: 3.21. vers. 22 vers: 23 I know that if I am faithful unto death, he will give unto me a crown of life. I know that all things are ours so long as we are his; whether the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are ours, and we are Christ's, & Christ is God's. Why the do I cry out upon my pains? Is any pain which I can suffer, either so much as I deserve by offending my jesus or comparable to his torments which he suffered; for me? Flesh, thou hast disturbed me all my life, & with thy sweet, and sugared baits hast alured me to sin: but I will drown thee therefore in my tears. Thou art already drawn low by my sickness; and yet (because this punishment is not enough) thou who wert kept from stains with curious (though simple) art, shalt now be tumbled into the dirt from whence thou camest. For the beds of down on which thou hast stretched thyself, thou shalt lie down in the hard and stony earth: for the great and spacious chamber● which thou didst pride thyself in, thou shalt be confined to the skantnesse & narrowness of a coffin: for the curious hang which adorned thy rooms, & were the costly adventures and labours of foreigners, thou shalt be closely wrapped & bound in thy grave-clothes: and for the gallant society which thou so cheerfully delightedst in, thou shalt have the company of nothing but worms; yea and such worms too as thou didst loath in thy seeming prosperity, shall be at once both thine associates, & thy greedy devourers. World thou art an imposter, & hast treacherously deluded me with hopes of vanity: but now I find that thy bravery is but folly; thy riches but fumes & smokes that vanish; thy friendship but hatred; thy pride but madness; thy beauty but ugliness; and all thy temtations are but leaders to destruction. I hate thee therefore, thou vain world, and leave thee behind me, as contemning the society of trifles so un worthy: and though for a time thou mayst fool the un wise, and bewitch them with the false glasses of thy seeming glory; yet know thou that the time shall come when thou shalt consume in thy flames, and shalt burn in a heap at the day of revenge. And as for you, o ye black and ugly slaves of perdition, ye hellish-criew of infernal fiends; go seek some other to delude with your suggestions: in me ye have neither share, nor hope; for neither should your torments be lessened if ye could seduce me; nor shall, nor can your madness prevail against thy redeemed soul, to increase the number of your schreeches and howl. And now, o my jesus, come, come away; for I am thine, and thou art mine. Why stayest thou so long? Why delayest thou the time? The longer I live, I do but the more offend thee; and the more I offend thee, the more do my sorrow's burden me for these mine offences. O would it not be more for thy glory to free me from corruption, that I might sing praises to thy name without any fear of displeasing thee? How long, Lord, how long wilt thou keep me from thy triumphant choir? Ps. 42.2 My soul is a thirst for thee; my heart panteth after thee: o when shall I come and appear in thy presence, o my God? O how truly and eagerly do I long for death, that I may live with thee who art the truth and the life! Io: 14.6 I know that one day die I must, but my death shall be nothing but a passage unto life: for though in Adam all dye; yet in thee, o Christ, 1. Cor. 15.22. shall all be made a live. I cry, Lord, I cry: to thee I cry, because thee I have offended: to thee only I cry, because thou only dost hear; and wilt help: to thee only I cry, because thou only hast redeemed me: to thee, o to thee I cry to hasten, to come with speed: O God make speed to save me: O Lord make haste to help me. Dan. 9.19. Rom: 7 24. Ps: 22.17. O Lord hear: o Lord forgive o Lord deliver me from the body of this death. These pale cheeks, and these hollow eyes, and these staring bones, and this sbrivelled skin are now, me thinks adorned with beauty, because they bring me the glad tidings of the approaches of my Redeemer. This bed is hard to what I shall find in the grave: these sheets are course and uneasy to that which I shall be wound in. Come, o Christ: o stay no longer. I fear thou art angry with me, or else ere now I should have seen thy face: but if thou art angry, Ps: 30.5 I am well assured that thy wrath endureth but the twinkling of an eye, and in thy presence is life. My spirit cries come; and my wearied soul cries come; and my weak limbs cry come: Come therefore, o my Redeemer; Come Lord jesus, Come quickly. exercise 5 5. The resignation of the Soul into the hands of God. THe Prophet jeremiah admonished the house of Israel, saying, Give glory to the Lord your God, before he cause darkness; and before your feet stumble upon the dark mountains; and while ye look for light, and he turn it into the shadow of death, and make it gross darkness. That glory I have given, and now. I do render to the Lord my God, so fare as he in his goodness is pleased to enable me. And now that time is come, that happy moment. O Welcome blessed hour so long expected, so long desired. How rebellious hath been my flesh that it held put so long, and now hides itself under my dried skin, and shrink's itself up as unwilling to yield! Away proud dust; thou canst have no hope of a freedom from putrefaction, although the time shall come when the Lord will glorify thee. That time, I know will come indeed, yea I know it assuredly; Ps: 56.9 job. 19.25. vers: 26 for the Lord is on my side. I know that my Redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, vers: 27 yet in my flesh I shall see God; whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not other, though my reins be consumed within me. I have (though weakly, and imperfectly) endeavoured to glorify my God before this hour approached, both in the confession to him of my grievous sins (ah those ugly sins) which I still grieve for & am sorry for them; and yet not without a certain confidence, and assurance of his mercy. Lord I thank thee for this happy hour: Now I find that though the wicked is driven away in his wickedness, Pro: 14 32. yet I am filled with hope in my death. Wicked, alas, I was; and (woe is me) wicked I am, if considered in my self; but in thee, o jesus, I am holy; in thy righteousness I am righteous; & therefore I am strongly assured that shortly, even presently, Ps. 36.9 in thy light, in thy Kingdom whereof thou thyself art the light, Reu: 21 23. Eccl. 7.1. I shall see light Now do I with heavenly comfort assure myself that the day of death is better, fare better than the day of my birth: for I was borne to sin, Ps. 23.4 but I die to reign. Now though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I can fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff thy comfort me. What though I am counted with them that go down to the pit; Ps. 88.4 andam as a man that hath no strength? job. 17 1. What though my breath be corrupt; though my spirit be spent; though my days be extinct; and though the graves be ready for me? vers. 13 What though the grave be mine house, and presently I shall make my bed in the darkness? What though corruption, vers. 16 and the worm shall go down to the bars of the pit; and our rest shall be together in the dust? What though death be come up into my windows, into mine eyes; jer. 9.21. Ps: 107 18. and be entered into the tabernacle of my body? What though my soul abhorreth all manner of meat, and I draw necre unto the gates of death? What though my heart be sore pained within me, Ps. 55.4. Ps: 44.17. and the terrors of death be fallen upon me? Yet though all this be come upon me, I will not forget thee, o my God; neither will I deal falsely in thy covenant. vers. 18 My heart shall not be turned back; neither shall my steps decline from thy way: no; vers: 19 though thou hast sore broken me in the place of dragons, and dost cover me with the shadow of death. I am going now the way of all the earth, Ios: 23.14. and do know in my heart, and in my soul, that not one thing shall fail me which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect. Now am I joyfully going to the gates of the grave: Is: 38.10. I am deprived of the residue of my years: vers. 11 vers: 12 I shall behold man no more with the inhabitants of the earth. Mine age is departed, and is removed from me, even as a shepherd's tent. But yet, Lord, Ps: 39.7. what is my hope? Truly my hope is even in thee. I shall speedily departed, & then shall I joyfully be freed from sin. Mat: 26 38. The soul of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowful, even unto death; and all for my sake as well as for others; that I might now be joyful, and rejoice unto life. Me think's that voice from heaven which was heard by the Apostle, is now sounding in mine ears, and saying, Reu. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from hence forth: yea, faith the spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them. Me thinks I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort, Ps: 116.15. that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. O now, me thinks, (like that blessed martyr Saint Stephen) looking up to the heavens I see th●… open; Act: 7.55. Ps: 31.5 and the glory of God; and my jesus sta● ding on the right hand of his father. I come Lord, I come. Into thy hands I commend my spirit; for thou hast redeemed me, o Lord, th●… God of truth. Take me into thine arms, o God: Act. 7.59. Convey me to thy Kingdom, o Christ: Lord jesus receive my spirit. Amen. subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT. Tears in the distressed time of civil wars. The soliloquy, containing a pathetical and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church & Commonwealth, by reason of these cruel & most bloody wars. THE EjACULATION. Psal. 5. vers. 1. Give ear to my words, o Lord; consider my meditation. vers. 2. Harken unto the voice of my cry, my king, and my God; for unto thee will I pray. SHall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? Amos. 3.6. Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet. A trumpet? Why? Leu. 25 9 Is that so dreadful? So terrible● I find that a trumpet of jubilee was appointed● be sounded in the day of atonement throughout 〈◊〉 the land of promise, when the Israelit● should come into it: and certainly whe● that trumpet sounded the people rejoiced, 〈◊〉 were not afraid. Yea, but the Lord called not to rejoicing and jubilees, when he threatened Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdsmen of Tekoa. Amos. 1.1. The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard, as the Scriptures mention, was a cause of trembling: Ex. 19.14.15. for the third day after Mos● went down from the Mount unto the people; vers. 16 in the morning there were thunders, an● lightnings, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voice of the trumpet exceeding loud, so that all the people that were in the camp trembled Yea they so trembled, and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings, c. 20.18. and the light● ning, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking, that they removed, and stood a fare off, vers: 19 and said unto Moses, Speak thou with us and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die. This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard; and I find that this was a cause of trembling. Again, I read that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arm: Num. 10.5. and that, o that is it which now sound's in our ears: Nothing but a point of war: nothing but news of fir● and sword is heard among us. The ●…umpets, the trumpets, oh, they sound, they ●…nd: a shrill and horrid din a fearful ●…se they make in our ears: and our new●…ced cities, and our new-fortified towns ●…e encompassed as once jericho was, when ●…e trumpets of rams-hornes were blown by ●…e priests, and the people shouted. Ios. 6: 8. vers. 16 Surely that ●…ay is come upon us which the Lord threat●…ed jerusalem with, by the mouth of his Pro●…het: for the mighty man cryeth bitterly: Zeph. 1 14. vers. 15 the ●…y of wrath is come upon us; the day of trouble ●…d distress; the day of wasteness and desola●…on; the day of darkness and gloominess; the ●ay of clouds and thick darkness: vers. 16 the day of the ●rumpet, and alarm against the fenced cities, ●nd against the high towers. vers. 17 Distress is come ●pon us, that we walk like blind men, because we have sinned against the Lord; and our blood is ●owred out as dust, and our flesh is as the dung. Oh, that is fallen upon us which was threat●…ed to Egypt. Our land is watered with blood, Eze: 32 6. wherein we do swim, even to the mountains; and the rivers are full of us. Good God, what a menace was this which went out against Egypt! What, water the land with blood? Yes, with blood. And good reason: for that country which had been so fertile through the overflowings of Nilus, was now grown more glutted with scarlet sins, than their river was pregnant & reemed with miss sh●ppen monsters. Thus Go● can do: and thus God will do, when hi● patience is over-pressed with the infinite in crease of insufferable crimes. And thus o thus he now does to my poor, natives bleeding country. This, this land, which wa● like the land of Egypt, Gen. 13 10. Lam. 1.1. jer. 5.9 vers. 10 even as the garden of th● Lord: which was great among nations, and Princess among Provinces, is now. Made an astonishment, and an hissing, and a desolation, The voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, and the voice of the Bridegroom, and the voice of the Bride, and the sound of the millstones, and the light of the candle, are taken from us; and this whole land by degrees becomes a desolation, vers. 11 Lam. 1.4. and an astonishment. Her priests sigh; her virgins are afflicted; and she is in bitterness. Lord, what a strange and sad alteration is here in every corner of the Kingdom; in all estates and conditions of the people! Our cities are become prisoners even to their own fortifications; and seem to be coffined in the walls of their strength. The grave and ancient inhabitants of them, who had outlived their sweat and labour, are now enforced to become young apprentices to their almost forgotten crafts; and finding their stiff & stickie fingers unapt to purchase bread for their bellies, they moisten their shriveled cheeks with those few tears their age can allow them. The cornets and the sackbuts are turned into trumpets and fifes: our feasts are turned into mourning, Amos. 8.10. and all our songs into lamentation; and sackcloth is brought upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and our mourning is as for an only son; and the end of our mirth is this our bitter day. Our dances are changed into marches; our banquets into famine; our gowns and liveries into garments made of the skins of Elkes and Buffeloes': and the suits of gold and Tissue into glittering armour. The hats composed of the sofe wool of the Beaver are turned into helmets & beavers of hard and heavy mettle: the lofty & proud structures, into poor and narrow hutts and tents: and the pride of the cupboard, and the glory of the fingers into salary for soldiers, and the price of blood. joel. 3.9. War is proclaimed in our gates; it is prepared: our mighty men are awaked: all the men of war draw near, and come up. vers. 10 Our ploughshares are beaten into swords, and our pruning hooks into spears. Our citizens hands forget the cunning of their trades and occupations, Ps. 144.1. by teaching their hands to war, and their fingers to fight. Our penns are turned into pikes; our maces into swords; our walking staves into halbeards, and partisans, and leading staves; and our voices of harmony and music into shouts and horrid cries of formidable armies. The bells which merrily rang the peals and the changes, either roar out our destructions in engines of war by a strange metamorphosis; or if they continue in their old condition they scarce know any other tone than knells for the slain, the death of whom causeth the wring of hands among orphans & widows. Our Beth-els are turned into Beth-avens; so that now we scarce dare to seek Bethel, Amos. 5.5. or enter into Gilgal, or pass unto Beersheba. Our daniel's, Dan. 6.16. vers. 18 oh our daniel's, are cast into the denns of Lions; and yet few of us do pass the night in fasting; nor do we send away the instruments of music from before us; nor doth our sleep go from us. O that we would yet once tremble and fear before the God of Daniel, vers. 26 who is the living God, and steadfast for ever; and his Kingdom that, which shall not be destroyed; for his dominion shall be even to the end. vers. 27 He delivereth, and rescueth: and he worketh signs and wonders in heaven, & in earth. Sad was the time with jeremiah the Prophet, Ier: 37.12. when he went out of jerusalem to go into the land of Benjamin, to separate himself thence in the midst of the people. For, vers. 13 when he was in the gate of Benjamin, a captain of the ward was there whose name was Irijah; vers. 14 and he took jeremiah the Prophet, saying, Thou fallest away to the Chaldeans: but jeremiah said, It is false; I fall not away to the Chaldeans; but he harkened not unto him. So Irijah took jeremiah, and brought him to the Princes: vers. 15 wherefore the Princes were wroth with jeremiah, and smote him, and put him in prison in the house of jonathan the Scribe; for they had made that a prison. Bad, Eze: 2.6. o full bad are our times too: for our Ezekiels live among briers and thorns; and dwell among scorpions. Heb: 11 36. The Prophets of the Lord have their trials of cruel mockings; yea of bonds, and imprisonment. They are stoned, they are tempted, vers. 37 they are slain with the sword: they wander about in sheepe-skinns, and goate-skinns, being destitute, afflicted, and tormented; vers. 38 of whom the world is not worthy. They wander in deserts, and in mountains, and in denns, and caves of the earth: This thou hast seen, o Lord; Ps. 35.22. vers. 23 keep not silence: o Lord be not thou far from them. Stir up thyself, and awake to their judgement, and to their cause, o our God, and our Lord. The time is already come that judgement hath begun at the house of God: 1. Pet. 4.17. and if it first begin at them, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel? We see not our signs; there is scarce any Prophet more: and who is there among us that knoweth how long? Ps. 74.9 We have unsettled people among us, who are apt to say to the Seers see not; & to the Prophets, Is. 30.10. Prophesy not unto us right things: speak unto us smooth things; Prophesy deceits. Get ye out of the way, turn aside out of the path: vers. 11 cause the holy one of Israel to cease from before us. The Prophet jeremiah complained that in his time a wonderful and horrible thing was committed in the land: Ier: 5.30. vers. 31 the Prophets prophesied lies; and the people loved to have it so: and what (saith he) shall we do in the end thereof? c: 14.13. Again he cries out. Ah Lord God, behold the Prophets say unto them, Ye shall not see the sword, neither shall ye have famine; but I will give you assured peace in this place. vers. 14 The Prophet's Prophecy lies in thy name whereas thou sentest them not; neither haste thou commanded them, nor spoken to them: they Prophesy unto the people a false vision, and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart. And is it not as bad in these times as it was in those? Nay do not they now profess prophesying which are no Prophets, Amos. 7.14. neither sons of Prophets; but herdsmen, and gatherers of Sycomore fruits; and yet will not believe but that God saith unto them; vers. 15 Go, Prophesy unto my people Israel? Surely if such be crept in among us through the windows, and so stop our light, Zech: 13.4. the day will come when they shall be ashamed every one of his vision when he hath Prophesied; and shall no longer wear a rough garment to deceive; and each of them shall say, I am no Prophet; vers: 5. I am an husbandman; for man taught me to keep cattles from my youth. Nay, is not he now the Prophet of this people in many places, Mic. 2.11. who walketh in the spirit of falsehood; and lieth, saying, I will Prophesy unto thee of wine, and of strong drink? Ah, are not the doors of many of out temples shut up, and divers of our lamps put out; 2. Chr● 29.7. & no incense burnt, or burnt offerings offered in the holy places unto the God of Israel, as they were wont to be? Do not some of the lowest of the people pretend to be priests of the high places? 1. King 13.33. Nay do not many fowl people (cunning fishers in our troubled waters) rob even God himself in tithes and offerings? For these, o for these things, Mal. 3.8. Hab: 2.11. the very stones do cry out of the walls, and the beams out of the timber do answer them. Hos: 4.1. O most justly therefore hath the Lord his controversy with the inhabitants of this land: and it is to be feared that no truth, nor mercy, nor knowledge of God will be left therein. Is it not now among us in many places, vers. 9 come to that old proverb, Like people liek Priests? 1. Cor: 12.8. Have we not those who think that to one of them is given, even by the spirit of God, the word of wisdom; vers. 10 1. Io: 4.1. Eph. 2.2. 1. Io: 4.6. 1. Sam. 16.14. 1. King. 22.22. Is: 19.14. to another Prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; and to another interpretation of tongues? Whereas if they would try the spirits peradventure they should find that these are not of God; but that many false Prophets are gone out into the world. Alas such a spirit is the same, and no other than the same spirit that owe worketh in the children of disobedience. It is the spirit of error; an evil spirit; a lying spirit; a perverse spirit; a spirit of a deep sleep; c. 29.10. Zech: 13.2. 1. Cor: 2.12. Reu. 18 2. Eze: 13 3. Is. 11.2. Col: 2.23. jam. 3.15. vers: 17 Rom: 2 20. Luc: 11 52. 1. Cor. 8.1. an unclean spirit; th● spirit of the world; a fowl spirit; then own spirit; rather than the spirit of wisdom and understanding; of counsel, and might; of knowledge, and of the fear of the Lord? They have indeed a show of wisdom: but I fear this wisdom descendeth not from above; but is earthly, sensual, and devilish. The wisdom that is from, above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, & easy to be intr●ted, full of mercy & good fruits, without partiality & withouthypocrisie. They pretend to knowledge; but is it not the form only if knowledge, and of the truth in the law? Ha●t they not all this while been kept out, and entered not for want of the true key of knowledge? Or if they do know what they ought, doth not this knowledge puss them up? He knoweth most, and best, who knoweth himself most, and that he is the worst. They say, jam. 2.14. verse 20 they have faith: but what doth it profit though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? Faith without works is dead. I pray God that all of us may fight the good fight of faith, 1. Tim. 6.12. 1. Thes. 5.8. Gal. 5.6 Lam. 1.2. putting on the breastplate of faith and love; even of that faith which worketh by love. O merciful God, how doth thy poor spouse weep sore in the night, and her tears hang on her cheeks; and that because among all her lovers she hath few, or none, to comfort her! Her friends have dealt treacherously with her, and are become her enemies. Me thinks our two indulgent Nurses, who should have been preserved chaste; whose breasts have been full of sweere and wholesome milk; 1. Pet. 2.2. and who were wont to feed us with the sincere milk of the word; the Press, and the Pulpit, are clad like mourners: and that because they are forced, and ravished by so many profane penns, and tongues. O how are the black penns of our railing Scripturients (borrowed from the wings of the simplest fowl, which hisses at them for their madness) surfeited with their excessive drinking of gall and vinegar: and how from their nibbs, their noses do drop the very loathsome purgations of their Master's contaminated brains! They gape, as if they would devour him whom they point at. They scratch him: they blot, and blur his good repute: yea they have teeth too; and with those teeth they by't so maliciously, so venomously, that often times the wounds do fester, and grow incurable. We are now certainly in the Autumn of the world; and assured thereof by the daily falling into our hands of the lye-blowne fruit and leaves of these sapless trunks, these un-pruined trees. The small coin which formerly we carried about us for the relief of the poor; is now frequently bestowed upon the falsehood of the times. Untruths are pressed into the world: the mother suffers but a minute's pain, and so soon as she is delivered, the daughter runn's abroad before she is so much as wrapped in swaddling clothes. That heavy curse is fallen upon us, 2. Thes. 2.11. that God hath sent us strong delusions, that we also believe lies. Not is the Pulpit freer than the Press. O my soul longeth, Ps: 84.2 vers. 3. yea even fainteth too for the courts of the Lord: and that because the Sparrow hath found an house, and the Swallow a nest for berselfe where she may lay her young; even thine Altars, o Lord of hosts, my King and my God: vers. 4. and yet I cannot be so blessed as to dwell in thine house. Alas, alas, in too many places of this land the shcreech owl lodgeth there: Is. 34.14. vers. 11 the cormorant, & the Bitterne possess it; the Owl also, and the Raven dwell in it: wild beasts of the desert lodge there; c. 13.21. it is full of doleful creatures; and the rough Satyrs dance there. Nay more: there are those now among us, who turn the Temples into stables, and Orateries into oasteries: and think to find Christ, as the shepherds did, Lu: 2.16. Dan: 3.29. lying in a manger. King Nebuchad nezzar made a decree that every people, nation, and language which spoke any thing amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednigo, should be cut in pieces, and their houses should be made (jakes): So the Geneva translation. but now we have all pretending to be worshippers of that God; yea even those who esteem our Churches no better than what those Blasphemers houses were to be turned into: yea and in good earnest, such, joel. 2.20. such places of stench and filthiness they account fit and good enough to offer their incense in to the God of heaven. But do they not think that their stink doth come up, and their ill savour come up unto the great God; and that he will say unto them, Is: 1.13 your incense is an abomination unto me? Idolatry hath in ancient times foolishly set forth our Churches with Pageantry, and gaudy trickings of superstition: & in our later times we dreaded the court, and the slow-paced but cunning and subtle insinuations of the proud whore of Babylon: and now me thinks we have a strange kind of alteration; Mat 12 25. for here is not only a Kingdom (o woe is the time) divided against it self, but also Satan in some places seeming to cast out Satan; profaneness to cast out superstition. 1. Chr. 2.7. Nay every troubler of our Israel, every Schismatic, every Sectarist, every Upstart as well as old Heretic comes in among us as did the wise men, Ex: 7.11. & the sorcerers, the magicians of Egypt before Pharaoh, and casteth down every man his rod, and they become serpents. Gen. 3.15. But o when will the seed of the woman bruise, nay break these serpent's heads? When will that Angel which hath the key of the bottomless pit, come down from heaven with a great chain in his hand, Reu: 20 1. vers. 2. vers. 3. and lay hold on the Dragon that old serpent, and all the young ones made of the magicians rod's, and bind them, and cast them into the bottomless pit, and shut them up, and set a se● upon them, that they deceive the nations n● more? Heb: 9.10. Is not this time hoped to be the times Reformation? Why then do jacob and Esa● still struggle in the womb of our Rebeckah? Gen. 25: 22. Ex. 14.24. vers: 25 jud. 5.28. Isa. 5.28. What troubleth our host; and taketh off our chariot wheels, that they drive so heavily? Why tarry the wheels of the chariot? Why are not the wheels like the whirlwind? Shall the children come to the birth, and shall there not be strength to bring forth? Shall the seamlesse coat of Christ be always thus torn in pieces? Shall the soldiers still tear it? Shall they still cast lots what every man should take? c: 37.5. joa. 19.23. Mar. 15.24. joa: 19.34. Ps. 74.10. Yea and not content with tearing his coat, shall the soldier with a spear pierce his very side also O God, how long shall the adversary reproach! Shall the enemies blaspheme thy name for ever! Time was when Micah had an house of god●, and made an Ephod, and Teraphim, and consecrated one of his Sons, who became his Priest: but in those days (saith the text) there was no King in Israel; Iud: 17 5. vers: 6. but every man did that which was right in his own eyes. We cannot truly say we have no King; but too truly we may see that almost every man striveth to do that which is right in his own eyes. Alas! Num: 24.23. Is. 1.25 vers. 27 Who shall live when God doth this? When will the Lord turn his hand upon us, and purely purge away our dross and take away all our tin? When shall Zion be redeemed with judgement, and her converts with righteousness? 2. Sam: 15.31. Isa: 1.5. vers. 6. When shall the counsel of Achitophel be turned into foolishness? The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint: From the sole of the foot even to the head there is no soundness; but wounds, and bruises and putrifying sores, that are neither closed, nor bound up, nor mollified with ointment. Eze: 11 2. 2. King 11.17. O that the men that devise mischief, and give wicked counsel might once come to an end! Lord, how we long for a jehojada to make a covenant between the Lord and the King, and the people, that we should be the Lords people; between the King also, and the people: vers. 18 and that all the people of our land would go into the house of Baal, and break it down; break his altars and his images in pieces thoroughly: and that he would take the rulers over hundreds, vers. 19 vers. 20 and the captains, and the guard, and the people of the land; and all of them bring the King to his house, and set him upon the throne of the Kings; that all the people of the land may rejoice, and the City may be in quiet! The Lord once did how the hearts of all the men of judah even as the heart of one man, 2. Sam. 19.14. vers. 15 so that they sent this word to the King, Return thou, and all thy servants. So the King returned and came to jordan: and judah came to Gilgal to meet the King, to conduct the King. O that our days of mourning were turned into a day of rejoicing, and shouting, Ezra. 4.10. that we might offer sacrifices of sweet savours for it unto the God heaven! But such a day of rejoicing w● cannot expect nor hope for, until our Go● shall be pleased to make us more sensibl● first of our sins, and then of our present an emergent calamities. Alas, Alas, we preten● to be sorry for our sins, and we pray fo● peace; and yet full little do we remember that there is no peace saith the Lord, Is. 48.22. unto the wicked. It would prove indeed a most inralluable blessing, 2. King 20.19. if we could see peace and truth in our days: and we are assured the to the counsellors of peace there is joy. Prov. 12.20. But what hopes can we have of peace, while our ●…quities separate between us and our God; If. 59.2 and our sins hid his face from us, that he will n● hear. vers. 3. Our hands are defiled with blood, & our fingers with iniquity. Our lips speak lies our tongues mutter perverseness: vers: 4. who calle●… for justice? And who pleadeth for truth We trust in vanity, and speak lies: we conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity. We hatch cockatrice eggs; vers: 5. and wove the spider's webs: he that eateth of the eggs dyeth; and that which is crushed, breaketh forth into a viper. vers. 6. vers. 7. Our works are works of iniquity; and the act of violence is in our hands. Our feet run to evil: and we make haste to shed innocent blood: our thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; wasting and desolation are in out paths. vers. 8. The way of peace we know not; and there is no judgement in our goings: we have made us crooked paths; whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace. Therefore is judgement fare from us; neither doth justice overtake us. True it is, we have our frequent fastings, and our days of humiliation: but do we not fast for strife and debate, vers. 9 c: 58.4. and to smite with the fist of wickedness? What doth the Lord require of us, but to do justly, and love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God? But we, ah sinful we, instead of doing justly, do many times labour by a new way to execute justice; to kill it, to destroy it with its own sword: no merveile therefore that when judgement is looked for, Mich. 6.8. behold oppression; and when righteousness, behold a cry. The God of mercy requireth us to love mercy; but we, on the contrary, are ready to lay hold on our bows and spears: Isa: 5.7. we are cruel, and have no mercy: our voices roar like the sea; and we ride upon borses set in array as men for war; and that against our own acquaintance, and neighbours, and friends, and allies: jer. 6.23. Prov. 12.10. Ps: 35: 13. Is: 58.5 yea and our very tender mercies are cruel. He requireth us to walk humbly with him; and we pretend to put on sackcloth, and to humble our souls with fasting: but alas, is this such a fast as God hath chosen? A day for a man to afflict his soul? Is it for a man to bow down his head as a bulrush; and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? Will he call this a fast, vers: 6. and an acceptable da● unto him? No, Noah: Is not this the fast that he hath chosen? To lose the bands of wickedness; to undo the heavy burdens; and to let the oppressed go free; and that we break every yoke. vers: 7. Is it not to deal our bread to the hungry; and that we bring the poor that is cast out, to our houses? When we see the naked, that we cover him; and that we hid not ourselves from our own flesh? But do we thus fast? Do we thus humble ourselves? I fear we do not; & therefore for peace we have great bitterness: c: 38.17. Lam. 3.15. Reu: 8.10. we are filled with bitterness, and are made drunken with wormwood. The great star which fell from heaven upon the third part of rivers, and upon the fountains of waters when the third Angel sounded, is found among us: vers. 11 for our waters are become wormwood; our tears are tears of bitterness. Prov: 11.14. Solomon telleth me that where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. That multitude of counsellors we have: gave, wise, and honourable counsellors we have: and yet for all that me thinks we do not find that safety which Solomon speaketh of: 2. Cor. 7.5. 1. Chr. 26.14. Mar: 15.43. for we have no rest, but we are troubled on every side: without are fightings, and within are fears. We have Zechariahs, wise counsellors; & we have josephs': honourable counsellors, which also wait for the Kingdom of God; 1. Chr. 27.32. Prov: 12.20. cap: 15.22. and we have jonathans' to be counsellors; wise men, and scribes: and yet there is but little joy to the counsellors of peace; nor are purposes yet so established by this multitude of counsellors, as hath been long hoped they would have been. What is the cause? What is the reason hereof? Ah Lord God, we are ready to take counsel, but not of thee: Ier: 30.1. Luc: 7.30. Ps: 107 11. Is: 19.17. to reject thy counsel against ourselves, to contemn thy counsel; and therefore we are every one afraid in himself, because of the counsel of thee the Lord of hosts, which thou hast determined against us. The noise of the drums and the trumpets still sounds in our ears; and no Dove comes yet with the olive branch of peace into our poor distressed land. O my God, my God, how is thy sword filled with blood, c: 34.6. and made fat with fatness, and with the blood of the lamb's & goat's; with the fat of the kidneys of ramms; because thou hast a sacrifice in Borrah, and a great slaughter in Idumea! vers. 7. Our land is soaked with blood; and our dust is made fat with fatness. Our dust is turned into brimstone: vers. 9 Deut: 28.24. the rain of our land is made pounder & dust: yea and our very water is turned into fire. The water that is drained through the earth of our Cellars and vaults, is turned into salt-peter; and that, and the coals, and the brimstone kindle their fury together in chambers of iron, and in brass, and then belch o● fire and destruction. From hence come tho●… dreadful wonders which we see in the heaven and in the earth; joel. 2.30. blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke. The black-mouthed Canons spit the fire of wrath at us; and the tokens of their malice which they send unto us, are balls of iron fitted for our confusion. Yea, and the more to terrify us, they roar and thunder out their defiances, even to the astonishment of all that hear them. We feed them with powder and they thank us in thunder and lightning: we cram them with iron; and they discharge themselves of it to the slaying of Christians. Yet me thinks even these engines of iron in dumb lectures do seem to teach us relenting by their own examples; by their shaking, their reversing, their ruaning when they are discharged, as if they trembled and were afraid themselves of the mischief they do; and were glad when they had liberty to take their ease upon their beds. Is: 66.15. Thus the Lord cometh with fire among us, and with his charets like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebukes with flames of fire: vers. 16 for by fire, and by sword the Lord pleadeth with us; and the slain of the Land are many: Lam: 1.20. Behold o Lord; for by reason hereof I am in distress; my bowels are troubled; and mine heart is turned within me; for we have grievously rebelled. Abroad the sword bereaveth; and at home there is as death: The Lord is against us, Eze: 21 3. and hath drawn forth his sword out of his sheath, and doth cut off from us the rightious and the wicked. Therefore it is, vers. 6. that now I sigh with the breaking of my loins, and with bitterness do I sigh; vers. 7. even for the sad tidings which I daily hear, because the sword cometh: every heart melteth, and all hands are feeble, and every spirit doth faint, and all knees are weak ●s water. A sword, oh A sword, is sharpened, vers: 9 & also furbished: it is sharpened to make a sore slaughter; it is furbished that it may glitter. vers: 10 cap: 38.21. The almighty hath called for a sword against us thorough out all the land; every man's sword is against his brother: the Lord pleadeth against us with blood, vers: 22 vers: 18 and with fire, and with brimstone. His fury is upon his face; vers: 19 and a great shaking is in our land. The covers of our soldiers are iron, & their weopons are iron, and their hearts are also iron: so hard are their hearts that they kill without remorse; and they pillage and plunder without pity or commiseration. The bags that swollen with unjust gain, and moneys purchased by extortion & fraud, now wonder at their own emptiness; and in their shriveled and pursed cheeks seem to mourn for their falling away? Eccles: 5.16. This is a sore evil that in all points as the deceaver came so shall he go; and what profit hath he that hath laboured for the wind? The plunderers suck down his swollen purse, and leave nothing but a be and naked skin: and by a new law of ga●… they teach by the way of violence how to● in an hour as much as he in his age c●…scrape up by falsehood. And when he looker with an heavy and wish-full eye upon his departing moneys, never to be re-called; ● deep sigh tell's him it is well that some me●nes are found to awaken his conscience. So he spends his drooping days in wishing that he were as innocent as many that are 〈◊〉 poor: and it may be that by the loss of his coin he gains some religion. Those again whose honest care and thrifty labours had been so blessed, that their moneys had increased, yea even by diminishing; and had multiplied for their charity; finding now the uncertainty of what the world falsely account's a treasure, part with their money with as deep, but not a covetous, sigh, an● that out of a consideration that the emptiness of their coffers will be burdensome one day to their new, but felonious possessors. They grieve that rapine should be more powerful than innocency: yet content themselves with the certain assurance of treasures in heaven. The surly robber in the interim, with a crusty conscience rejoiceth at the purchase of his own destruction: and (to show that he hath as little care of his issue as he hath of his soul) consume's in riot what his children may beg for. The lowest spoke is now come to be the highest in the wheel; and that which was the uppermost is turned to the ground. The ●rich are become poor; and those who formerly were of a low esteem, now pride it in the feathers of other birds. Solomon's observations is come to pass in our days; Eccles: 10.6. vers. 7. the rich sit in low place: yea and we see servants upon horses, and princes walking as servants upon the earth. Ier: 12.12. The spoilers are come upon all high places; for the sword of the Lord doth devour from the one end of the land even to the other end of the land; no flesh hath peace. We sow wheat, vers. 13 but we reap thorns: we put ourselves to pain, but no profit comes of it: and we are even ashamed of our revenues, because of the fierce anger of the Lord. Our bloody victories are mixed both with joy and sorrow; for even our very conquests & triumphs are mournful. The more we slay, the fewer kindred, and friends, and acquaintance are left us; and much of that blood which we draw from others, is part of that which runneth in our own veins. jacob and Esau, brethren of the same womb, contend for the birthright; and many a man strive's to supplant, to surprise, to destroy his kinsman, his brother, yea and his own father. Our tongues are become prisoners, and are kept close under the roofs of our mouths, and within the grates of our teeth; yea and that in the compa●… them who are, or should be dearest unto and all for fear of treachery and discover The prudent are enforced to keep silence because is an evil time. Amos. 13. Mic: 8.5. We dare not trust a friend 〈◊〉 put confidence in a guide: we keep 〈◊〉 doors of our mouths from them that lies our bosoms: vers. 6. The son dishonoureth the fath●… the daughter riseth up against her mother; and the daughter in law against her mother in law. Brother delivereth up brother to death, Mat: 10 21. and the father the child: and the children rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death. Five in one house are divided; Luc: 12 52. vers: 53 three against two, and two against three? The father is divided against the Son, and the son against the father: the mother against the daughter, a● the daughter against the mother: the moth●… in law against the daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law: and a man's foes are those of his own household. Mat. 10 36. Mal. 4.6. The Lord God of heaven amend these wicked times, and turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers; Ps: 69.22. Is: 29.21. Ier: 48.43. vers: 44 Our very tables become snares before us: and that which should have been for our welfare, is become a trap. A man is made an offender for a word; and a snare is laid for him that reproveth in the gate. Fear, and the pit, and the snare are upon us: he that fleeth from the fear, falleth into the pit; and ●…e that getteth up out of the pit, is taken in the ●…are: the years of our visitation are upon 〈◊〉. The spoiler is come upon every city, vers. 8. and no ●…ty escaped: the valleys also perish, and the ●aines are destroyed. c: 15.7. The Lord doth fan 〈◊〉 with a fan in the gates of our land: he ●…th bereave us of our children: he doth destroy ●s people because we return not from our ways. Our widows are increased to us above the sand ●f the seas: vers: 8. & the Spoiler at noon day is brought ●pon us. She that hath borne seven, languisheth; vers: 9 ●hee hath given up the ghost: her sun is gone down while it was yet day: and the residue of ●…s are delivered to the sword before our enemies. c: 6.26. O that we would gird ourselves with sackcloth, and wallow ourselves in ashes; and make ourselves mourning as for an only son, most bitter lamentation; for the spoiler suddenly cometh upon us. Isa: 21.2. Ier: 48.10. The treacherous dealer dealeth treacherously, and the spoiler spoileth: Yea and the word is given out among us Cursed be he that keepeth back his sword from blood: and yet few of us do consider that the Lord God of recompenses shall surely requite. c: 51.56. Amos. 5.18. Woe unto them that desired this day of the Lord. To what end is it for them? Alas, the day of the Lord is darkness and not light. vers: 19 As if a man did flee from a lion, and a bear met him in the way; or went into the house, and leaned his hand on the wall, and a serpent bit him. Wailing is in all our streets; vers. 16 and we say● all the high ways, Alas, Alas. W● call the husbandman to mourning, and such are skilful of lamentation to wailing: vers. 17 & ●… all vineyards is wailing; for the Lord doth p●… thorough us. O that now at last we wou● seriously lay this to our hearts, vers. 14 and seeh good and not evil, that we may live, and so the Lord, the God of hosts may be with us! O that we would once hate the evil, vers. 15 and love the good, and establish judgement in the gate! It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of joseph. But while we remain in our rebellions, we must look to lie down in our miseries, as at this day. Ps. 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meat unto the fowls of the heaven: and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth. vers. 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdom; and there are none to bury them. We are become a reproach to our neighbours: verse 4. a scorn and derision to them that are round about us. vers. 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry? for ever? vers. 8. Shall thy jealousy burn like fire? O remember not against us our former iniquities: let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us; for we are brought very love. vers. 9 Help us o God of our salvation, for the glory of thy name! O deliver us, Ps: 125 3. and purge away our sins, for thy name's sake! O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous, lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity! Oh, how our ●eres do enforce us to flee to save our lives; Ier: 48.6. Prov: 28.1. Gen: 19 22. & ●…ke us like the heath in the wilderness: & ●…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us. ●hen Sodom was destroyed, Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto: when jerusalem was laid waist, ●…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape ●…to. O that I now had wings like a dove: Ps. 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too, and be at ●…st. Lo, then would I wander far off, vers. 7. and ●…maine in the wilderness: joel: 2.11. for the day of the ●ord is great, and very verrible; and who can ●ide it? He is the true God, jer. 10.10 he. is the li●ing God, and an everlasting King: at his ●rath the earth doth tremble, and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation. Ye, ●hat do I talk of fleeing; and wish for the wings of a dove, that I might flee? Alas, whither would I flee? Can the mountains, ●…r the hills cover me from the all-seeing Lord of hosts? Ps. 139.7. Whither shall I go from his spirit; or whither shall I flee from his presence? If I ascend up to heaven, he is there: If I make my bed in hell, behold he is there also. vers. 8. vers. 9 vers. 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; even there shall his hand lead me; and his right hand shall hold me: If I say, vers. 11 surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, vers. 12 the darkness hideth not from him, but the night shineth as the day: the d●…nesse and the light to him are both alike. W●… then shall I yet do? Abide his wrath I cannot: endure these troubles, & vexatio●… and impoverishing and heart-breakings, a●… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot; and yet whither to go or flee, to shun and avoid them, I know not. Well; I am yet resolved what I will do. Yes; 'tis my only way; and do it I must, I will. Since I cannot flee from God, I will flee to God. And yet, I will flee from him; from his wrath, from his anger, from his displeasure: and for all that I will flee to him also, and to none but him: to his mercy, to his promises, to his tender compassions, which never fail. I have displeased him with my sins: but I will displease myself for thus displeasing my kind, my good, my loving God. I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities: But I will be angry with myself for moving him in whom I live, Act: 17 28. and move, and have my being. I will come unto him with tears; me thinks mine eyes already begin to water; and I will cry unto him; job. 34.28. Ps: 65.2 for he heareth the cry of the afflicted: and I will pray unto him; for he is a god that heareth prayer: and I will sigh unto him; for he caused a mark to be set upon the foreheads of those in jerusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez: 9.4 thereof. Oh, who can forbear a shower of tears, that is but the least sensible of the storms of our calamities? jud. 5.15. Who can choose but have great thoughts of heart, for these divisions of Reuben? For my part, surely my heart is not all stone: some part of it, at least, is flesh; and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the general sufferances, and of my particular miserable condition. Our Chirurgeons have a stone composed by art, which they call the infernal stone; with which they stupefy and make dead the flesh, where they intent to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue. From my heart should issue a fountain of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure: and yet I am afraid me thinks, to have the orifice made. I would be content to grieve; but, me thinks I would not have it painful; I would do it at cheap rates. O but I must both grieve, and I must be pained too; yea I must be cut to the heart: yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsel, Act. 5.29. when Peter and john told them that they ought to obey God rather than men; where upon they were cut to the heart, and took counsel to slay them: vers. 33 c. 7.54. nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen: but I must howsoever be cut, or at least I must be pricked at the heart, as were Peter's converts, c: 2.37. when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles, Men and brethren what shall we do? Oh, but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough; for I fear that I have an infernal stone lying upon my heart, which the devil layeth there purposely, that I may not be sensible. Well; if thus it be, I shall find it by the working, by the tingling. I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel, 1. Sam. 3.11. at which both the ears of every one that heareth it do tingle: yea and me thinks, not only mine ears tingle, but even my heart also tingleth and trembleth at the same. Well; though that stone be there, yet the incision shall be made; and howsoever I will desire that a pain I may endure. If yet I am not sensible enough when the incision is made, I hope I shall have time enough to smart before the eskar be off. Lord, I desire that I may be sensible of the wounds of this land; and that the blood which is shed in these violent times, may be washed away by the tears of me, and other penitent sinners. Or, if blood requireth blood; Lord let the wine and oil of the best Samaritane; let the blood of my merciful Redeemer prevail for pardon for the blood which is shed in these unnatural wars; and let it stop the fountain, the current, the issue thereof. If my poor country was formerly troubled with a pleurisy, I am sure that now it useth the harsh means of phlebotomy; for it is let blood in every part; in the head, the arms, the legs, the feet; yea and even in the very heart. And yet for all this, are there not some among us (upon whose hearts the stupifying infernal stone is laid) who are like unto Moab; jer. 48.11. who have been at case from their youth, and have settled upon their lees; and have not been emptied from vessel to vessel; nor have gone into captivity; and therefore their taste remaineth in them, neither is their scent changed? Are there not those among us, that put fare away the evil day; Amos. 6.3. vers. 4. and cause the seat of violence to come near? That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches; and eat the lambs out of the flock, & the calves out of the midst of the stall? vers. 5. That chant to the sound of the viol, and invent to themselves instruments of music? vers. 6. That drink wine in bowls, and anoint themselves with the chiefe ointments; but are not grieved for the afflictions of joseph? jerusalem was then surest of her destruction, when she laughed and rejoiced in her surfeits and riots; & my compassionate jesus at the same time foreseeing her ruin, mourned and wept over her. Oh, Luc. 19 41. me thinks, when I lay my hand upon my heart, when I touch my heart, I find it a stringed instrument; and when I stop upon the frets, the lesson that it playeth is nothing but Lachrymae. Yet I fear I weep not so much as I should: and I fear too that every one doth not weep so much as I do. I fear there are still those among us, Isa: 49.26. who dilight to be fed with their own flesh; and to be drunk with their own blood, as with sweet wine. What shall I say of such; or how shall I plead for them? Have these workers of wickedness no knowledge, Ps. 14.4 who eat up the people as they eat bread; and call not upon the Lord? 2. Sam. 2.26. Lord shall their sword devour for ever? Know we not that it will be bitterness in the latter end? How long shall it be then ere the people be bid return from following their brethren? The Lord hath said by the mouth of his servant David that he will abhor the bloody, Ps. 5.6. Ps: 55.23. and deceitful man: yea, he saith that bloody and deceitful men shall not live out half their days; Ps. 68.30. Ps. 51.14. Ps: 46.9 and that he will scatter the people that delight in war. Deliver 〈◊〉 from blood-guilinesse, o God, thou God of 〈◊〉 salvation. O that my God would make these wars to cease. O that he would break the bows, and cut the spears in sunder, and bur●… the chariots in the fire! This I am sure, he● and he alone can do. He, and he only, is our refuge and strength; vers. 1. and a very present he●e in trouble. This therefore that he may do, I will imitate the Prophet Daniel; and I will speak, Dan. 9.20. and pray, and confess mine own sinnt, and the sins of this people; and present my supplication before the Lord my God, and thus I will say. The First Prayer, wherein is set down. 1 God's justice in punishing his own people in former times. 2 His justice also in the present punishing us for our offences. 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgiveness. O Righteous father, thou who art righteous in all thy ways, Ps. 145.17. and holy in all thy works; I, thine unworthy creature in the very grief of my heart, and with a sad and bleeding soul, cannot choose but sit down and weep, Ps. 13● 1. vers. 8. in the consideration of our poor Zion wasted with miseries. Yet great and grievous though our afflictions are, and the increase and growth which they may yet arise higher unto, is altogether as unknown to us, as when the period and end of them shall be: howsoever I must confess thee to be a righteous God, strong, and patiented. And seeing all things are naked and open unto thee, with whom we have to do, I cannot choose but acknowledge here, upon my bended knees before thine all-seeing majesty, that the sins, oh the grievous, the scandalous, the outrageous sins of this nation have cried for this vengeance, Ps: 51.4 that thou mayst be justified when thou speakest, and be clear now thou judgest. I confess o Lord, out of a sense of mine own transgressions, and consideration of the crimes of this people, Is: 59.12. that our transgressions are multiplied before thee; and our sins testify against us: for our transgressions are with us; and as for our iniquities, I desire of thee Lord that we may know them. When thine own dear people of Israel would not be reform by terror, Leu. 26 16. vers. 17 and consumption, and the burning ague; by their enemies eating that which they had sowed, and reigning over them; by their fleeing when none did pursue them: by making their heaven iron & their earth as brass: verse 18 by suffering them to spend their strength in vain, vers. 19 and causing their land not to yield her increase, n● the trees their fruit: vers. 22 by the wild beasts robbing them of their children; by destroying their cattles, and making them few in number, and their high ways desolate: then didst thou threaten them, vers. 23 saying; If ye will yet walk contrary to me then will I walk contrary to you; vers. 24 vers: 25 and will punish you yet seven times for your sins. I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: & when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the Pestilence among you; Deut. 28.15. & ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy. Again, thou didst also threaten them, saying, If thou wilt not hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe to do all his commandments, and his statutes: vers. 25 the Lord shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and thy carkeise shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth; vers. 26 and no man shall fray them away. jud. 2.13. Thus when Israel forsook thee their Lord, and served Baalim and Ashahroth; vers. 14 then thine anger was hot against them, and thou didst deliver them into the hands of spoilers that spoiled them; and didst sell them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies. c. 3.7. Thus again when they did evil in thy sight, and forgot thee their Lord and their God; and served Baalim and the groves; then thine anger was hot against Israel, vers. 8. and thou didst sell them into the hands of Chusan-Rishathaim king of Mesopotamia, and they served him eight years. vers. 9 But yet when they cried unto thee, thou didst raise up a deliverer to them who delivered them. Thus also when they did evil in thy sight, c. 6.1. thou didst deliver them into the hands of Midian seven years. And thus at another time when they did evil again in thy sight and served Baalim and Ashtaroth, c. 10.6. and forsook thee, and served thee not: vers: 7. then thine anger was hot against them, and thou didst sell them into the hands of the Philistines & into the hands of the children of Ammon. c: 13.1. Yea and thus when they also did likewise evil in thy sight, thou didst deliver them into the hands of the Philistines forty years. If then Lord thou sparedst not thine own dear people when they thus sinned, Ps: 106.29. and provoked thee to wrath through their own inventions; how can we the most abominable of all thy creatures have the least hope of the cessation of thy judgements, who still do multiply and increase our unsufferable abominations? Neither terror nor consumption, nor any other of thy corrections formerly sent us, have prevailed with us to search and try our ways, and to turn unto thee our dreadful Lord. justly therefore dost thou walk contrary unto us, and causest the sword to avenge the quarrel of thy covenant. We are smitten before our enemies, yea even such enemy's who have been and should have continued our friends: for religion, country, neigbourhood, affinity, and consanguinity had tied us together with the bonds of love. But now alas we go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them. We have in many places had those among us who served Baalim, and Ashtaroth, and the groves: and we have had those too, who although they have professed with Naaman, that they would offer neither offerings, 2. King 5.17. nor sacrifice unto other Gods, but only unto thee the true Lord: yet with Naaman also, they have bowed in the house of Rimmon. vers: 8. justly therefore, o most justly is thine anger hot against us, and we are delivered into the hands of spoilers. Confess we must o God, that we are a sinful nation, Is. 1.4. a people laden with iniquity, a seed of evil doers, children that are corrupters: we have forsaken thee our Lord, we have provoked thee the Holy-one to anger, we have gone away backward. vers. 5. The whole head is sick, and the whole heart faint: vers. 6. from the sole of the foot even to the head there is no soundness; but wounds and bruises, and putrifying sores: they have not been closed, neither bound up, neither mollified with ointment. We have indeed with our tongues called thee our father and our master; & yet thou mayst justly question us as thou didst the Israelites by the mouth of thy holy Prophet, If I be a father, Mal: 1.6. where is mine honour? And if I be a master, where is my fear? Ah Lord we must confess that we are all as an unclean thing; Is: 64.6. and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags we all do fade as a leaf, & our iniquities as the wind do take us away. vers: 7. There is none among us that calleth upon thy name as he ought to do; that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee: for thou hast hid thy face from us, and hast consumed us because of our iniquities. vers: 8. But now, o Lord, thou art our father: we are the clay, and thou our potter, and we all are the work of thine hand. vers: 9 Be not wroth very sore o Lord; neither remember iniquity for ever: behold, see I beseech thee, we are all thy people. True it is, c: 28.3. o eternal Purity, that tho● didst threaten by thy Prophet, that the drunkards of Ephraim should be trodden under feet and by thy servant Solomon thou hast warned us, Prov. 23.20. vers. 21 saying, Be not amongst wine bibbers; amongst riotous eaters of flesh: for the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty; and drowsiness shall them with rags. And yet, as if thy words were not true, or thy judgements not to be feared and trembled at th●… is among us a root that beareth gall and wormwood, Deut. 29 18. to add drunkenness to thirst. We hart Vriah's, 1. Sam. 11.13. 1. King 16.9. 1. Sam. 25.36. made drunk; and we have Elah's, & Nabals, drinking themselves drunk, and making Kingly feasts, where the end of their mirth is drunkenness. Seeing therefore the● is this guilt among us, how can we expect other but that thou shouldest tread down to people in thine anger, Is: 63.6 and make them drunk is thy fury, and bring down our strength to the earth? It was thy judgement upon Moab, the he should be made drunken and should wall●… in his vomit & be in derision. jer. 48.26. Is. 51.17. We o Lord; are now made drunk with the cup of thy fury, and drink the dregs of the cup of trembling, and wring them out: and that because of the cups of drunkenness and madness which have over flowed in our land. jer. 10.24. But o heavenly father correct us but with judgement, and not in thine anger, lest thou bring us to nothing. Luc: 21 34. Make every one of us of this nation Take heed lest at any time our hearts be overcharged with surfeiting & drunkenness, and cares of this life; & so that day, the day of judgement, come upon us unawares. By King Solomon, o thou glorious Essence, Frov: 16.18. thou hast told us that pride goeth before destruction, & an haughty spirit before a fall: and the Apostle telleth us, jam. 4.6. Eze: 16 49. that thou resistest the proud, but givest grace to the humble: and the Prophet telleth that pride was one of the iniquities of Sodom, as well as fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness. Yet, o Lord God almighty, in our pride we have neither remembered the destruction, nor the threatened fall; nor thy resisting us; nor Sodom's ruin. Lord forgive this iniquity amongst us; and give us now such humble hearts, Ps. 75.6 that we may no more set our horns on high, nor speak with stiff necks: for why? Thou o God art the judge: vers. 8. thou puttest down one, and settest up another. We are taught, o thou just God of truth, Prov. 11.1. that a false balance is abomination unto thee; but a just weight is thy delight: and we know that thou didst question by thy Prophet, saying, Mic: 6.11. Shall I count them pure with the wicked balances, and with the bag of deceitful weights? vers. 10 Are there not in jerusalem and Samaria the treasures of wickedness in the house of the wicked, and the scant measure which is abo●minable? Yea and we know that thou do●… strictly forbid, Deut: 25.14. vers: 13 vers. 15 saying, Thou shalt not have i● thine house divers measures, a great and 〈◊〉 small: thou shalt not have in thy bag divers weights, a great and a small: but thou shal● have a perfect and just weight; a perfect and just measure shalt thou have, that thy days may be lengthened in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. And yet for all this, the same complaint may be made against many of us, Ier: 6.13. which was against judah, we are given to covetousness, and we dealt falsely. justly therefore, o most righteous judge thou mayst question us as thou didst the jews and say; c: 7.9. vers: 10 will ye steal, murder, comm● adultery, and swear falsely; and come and stand before me in my house which is called by my name, and say, we are delivered 〈◊〉 do all these abominations? O thou that art the easer of the oppressed thou God of compassionate bowels, to thee are also known both the deceaver and the oppressor walking hand in hand among us. Surely thou hast seen it, Ps: 10.15. for thou beholdest ungodliness and wrong: therefore thou callest, Amos. 8.4. vers. 5 saying, Hear this o ye that swallow up the needy, even to make the poor of the land to fail; saying, when will the Sabbath be gone, that we may set forth wheat, making the Ephah small, and the Shekel great, and falsifying the balance by deceit? vers. 6. that we may buy the poor for silver, and the needy for a pair of shoes. Yea, o thou that makest inquisition for blood, and forgettest not the complaint of the poor, to thee we must confess that with the deceitful is joined also among us even the bloody murderer; although we are well assured that the bloodthirsty and deceitful man shall not live out half his days. Ps. 55.25. Yea Lord, thou God of justice, thou mayest also complain of us as thou didst of the jews, Is: 59.4. and say that few or none among us calleth for justice, or pleadeth for truth: we trust in vanity, and speak lies; we conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity. Hos. 4.2. By swearing, and lying, and killing, and stealing, and committing adultery, the people break out, and blood toucheth blood! Therefore doth our land mourn, vers: 3. and every one that dwelleth therein doth languish. Thus, o thus wickedly, thus contemptuously, Iud: 10 15. thus outrageously, yea and many more and worse though closer ways, have we sinned, o Lord: do thou unto us whatsoever in thy mercy seemeth good unto thee. For these, jer. 50.4. and for all other our private and public, our secret and our open, our particular and our general crimes, I besiech thee, o father of mercies, to grant that I, and all the people of the land may go weeping, as once did the children of Israel, and of judah. Lord be reconciled unto us in the blood of that Lamb of thine who taketh away the sins of the world. Cause us all now in this time of our visitation to learn, vers. 5. and ask the way to Zion, with our faces thitherward, saying, Come & let us join ourselves unto the Lord in a perpetual covenant that shall not be broken. Amos. 7.2. Dan. 9.19. joel. 2.21. vers. 26 O Lord God forgive us I beseech thee: by whom. Shall jacob arise? For he is small. O Lord hear; o Lord forgive; o Lord hearken and do it: so shall we be sure that thou wilt do great things Cause us once again to eat in plenty, & be satisfied, & praise thy name, o Lord our God, when thou hast dealt thus wondrously with us; and we shall never be ashamed. jer. 29.11. O let thy thoughts be thoughts of peace towards us, and not of evil. We should, o my God, 1. Pet. 3 8. we should have loved one another as brethren, and should have been pitiful and courteous: but to our shame I must acknowledge with a sad and a broken heart, that we have been more ready to by't and devour one another; Gal. 5.15. and therefore now are we justly consumed one of another. It is most just with thee, o thou sin-revenging God, thus to visit our offences with the rod, Ps: 89.32. & our sins with scourges. Unnatural have been our crimes, & therefore unnatural are likewise our punishments: Ps: 37.15. for our swords do go thorough our own hearts; and we ourselves are become the destroyers of ourselves. O eternal mercy! O eternal goodness, be thou graciously pleased, I beseech thee to give us a true sight, sense, and feeling of these and all other our failings and back-slidings; give us hearty remorse, contrition, and sorrow for them all; together with a steadfast resolution of new obedience: yea and so strengthen us in these our pious resolutions, and so enable us to the performance of the same; yea so sanctify us throughout, that our whole spirits, and souls, & bodies may be kept blameless unto the coming of our Lord and Saviour jesus Christ. Thou hast threatened that. If a man will not turn, Ps. 7.13 thou will whet thy sword: & this long time thou hast bend thy bow: thou hast prepared for us, vers. 14 and brought among us the instruments of death; and hast ordained thine arrows against thy persecuters. Yet Lord thou art yesterday, and to day, and the same for ever. The same father of mercies, and God of all consolation. Remember therefore, I beseech thee, how gracious thou wert to the people of judah, to whom thou sentest thy Prophet to speak, jer. 26.3. If so be they would hearken, and turn every man from his evil way, that thou mightest repent thee of the evil which thou didst purpose to do unto them because of the evil of their do. O Lord do thou rend our hearts in thy mercy; and make us turn from our evil ways, that thou mayst repent thee of the evil of our punishments. Make us turn unto thee with 〈◊〉 our hearts, joel: 2.12. with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: Ex: 32.12. and then turn thou from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people. Is: 1.26 Turn thine hand upon us, and purely purge a way our dross, and take away all our tin. vers: 26 Restore our judges as at the first, and our counsellors as at the beginning: and call our land the land of righteousness, vers: 27 the faithful land. Let our Zion be redeemed with: judgement, and our converts with righteousness. Ps: 86.17. Show some good token upon us for good, that they which hate us may see it & be ashamed, because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us. Hear o my God, in the bowels of thy compassions: close and bind up our wounds, for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions; pardon us for his sake who is our only reconciliation: and let the cries which our fins have sent up to heaven for vengeance, be ceased, and quieted by the blessed pleading of our only Mediator between thee and us, even the beloved Son of thy bosom, jesus Christ our only Lord and Saviour. Amen. The Second Prayer, consisting of. 1 A doleful complaint of our grievous calamities. 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sins. 3 A fervent supplication for righteousness and peace. Great and glorious Lord God, who art the Lord of hosts, 1. Sam. 17.45. Exod: 15.3. and God of the armies of Israel; o thou who hast styled thyself a man of war, whose name is the Lord; Look down, I beseech thee, upon the distressed anguish & consuming sorrows of this thy people in our land of blood. Thou seest Lord, thou seest the afflictions of joseph; the calamities of thy people; how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdom; how our bones lie scattered before the pit, like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth. How long Lord, how long, just and holy, shall the prayers, and the tears, and the cries, and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seem unto us as a deaf man which heareth not; and as a man which is dumb, Ps. 38.13. that openeth not his mouth? Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is n●… the health of the daughter of thy people recovered? Ier: O the hope of Israel, the saviour thereof in the time of trouble, why should thou be as a stranger in our land; and as way-faring man, that turneth a side to tarr● but a night? Psal. Thou hast moved our land, and divided it: o heal the sores thereof for it shaketh. O let the sorrowful sighing of the prisoners come before thee: according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death: Arise o Lord, from thy resting place, thou and the ark of thy strength. Arise, and have mercy upon our Zion; for it is time that thou have mercy upon her, yea the time is come: for why? Th● servants think upon her stones, and it greiveth us to see how she lieth down in the dust. O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Zion; and build thou the walls of our jerusalem. Send peace within our walls, and plenteousness within our palaces. For our brethren's and companions sake I wish this prosperity: yea because of the many houses of the faithful who put their trust in thee our Lord & our God, I pray for this good. Exod. 3 7. Thou, o Lord, hast surely seen the afflictions of this thy people, and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword; for thou knowest our sorrows. vers. 8. O come thou down to deliver us, as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians. Thou seest how the sword is drawn in an unnatu●…ll manner; brother against brother, neighbour against neighbour, house against house, ●ather against Son, and Son against Father; all having weapons of war which ●re like to destroy the nation; & all clothing themselves in garments rolled in blood. Isa. 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood, & how whole rivers thereof run in our fields, and in our streets; & yet it is not in the power or policy of man to stop the current. It is now, o Lord, with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel, when Moses commanded them, saying, Exod. 32.27. Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. Psal: Thy holy temples are defiled, and without thy preventing mercy; our jerusalem may be made an heap of stones. Heresy and Schism oppose the clear light of thy glorious gospel: Ps: 137.7. and like the children of Edom in the day of jerusalem, they say even of truth itself, down with it, down with it, even to the ground. Many of our cities and towns do now sit solitary, Lam. 1 1. c: 2.11. that were full of people; and are become as widows. The children and suckling's swoone in our streets: the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands: the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it them nor mothers to compassionate them. Is: 33.8 The high ways lie waste; 〈◊〉 way-faring man ceaseth: the line of confus●… is stretched out upon the land, c. 34.11. & the stones of e●…ptinesse. vers. 13 Thorns come up in our palaces; net● and brambles in our streets; and houses a● become habitations of dragons, c. 8.21. and courts f● owls. Some wicked ones among us that a● hungry, Lam. 2.9. fret themselves, and curse our Kin● and our god, and look upward. The law i● no more; vers. 10 the Prophets also find no vis●… from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground, and keep silence: they have cast up d●…t upon their heads; they have girded themselves with sackcloth: the virgin's h●… down their heads to the ground. It is not no● as it was in the days of old, Luc. 7.25. when men cloth● in soft raiment, and they which were gorgeous● apparelled, and lived delicately, were in King courts. Is: 1.7. Our country is desolate; our city's a● burnt with fire; and our land is desolate as or● thrown by strangers. Lam: 5.1. Remember o Lord, who is come upon thy people: consider and behold on reproach. vers. 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers, and our houses to aliens. Many among us are orphans and fatherless; vers. 3. and many that were wives are become widows. Many do get their bread with the peril of their lives, vers. 9 Ps. 142.7. vers. 6. Ps. 94.19. because of the sword that maketh our land a wilderness. O Lord, do thou consider our complaint, for we are brought very low. Thou, o Lord, art our hope, and our portion: in the multitude of sorrows which we have in our ●…rts, let thy comforts, o my God, refresh our ●…les. Hear o Lord, and have mercy upon us: Ps: 30.11. Ps: 65.2 Ps: 69.34. ●ord be thou our helper. O thou that hearest ●rayer, thou that hearest the poor, and despisest ●ot the prisoners, cause thou us to fast, and ●ay, and read and weep, and repent as thou requirest; Is: 58.8 that our light may break forth as the ●orning, & our health may spring forth speedily: ●o our righteousness shall go forth before us, & ●he glory of thee our Lord shall be our reward. Mat: 2.18. Oh how doleful is this voice which is heard incur ●ur Rama; this lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning: Rachel weeping for her children, ●nd will not be comforted, because they are not! Almighty God, everlasting father, Is: 9.6. prince of ●eace, thou who didst comfort thy disciples that in thee they might have peace, Io. 16.33. Gen: 8.11. because in the world they should have tribulation: be pleased, I beseech thee, in mercy to send thy dove with the olive leaf of peace into this our distressed Kingdom. When thy servant Solomon dedicated his temple to thy holy worship, he prayed unto thee, and said; 1 King 8.33. When thy people Israel shall be smitten down before the enemy, because they have sinned against thee; and shall turn again to thee, and confess thy name, and pray, vers: 34 and make supplication unto thee: Then hear thou in heaven, and forgive the sin of thy people Israel; and bring them again to the land which thou gavest to their fathers. Heavenly father w● are smitten down before our enemies, an● that because we have sinned against thee but by thy grace we turn again to the and confess thy name, and pray, and mak● our supplications to thee in thy temples● Hear thou us in heaven, and forgive th● sins of thy distressed and back-sliding Israel, & compose our grievous divisions and destructions. Merciful father, bow down thine ear to me the worst of all this thine Israel, who in the name of our whole nation do here beseech thee to be pacified with this broken Kingdom, smitten down with its own bloody and sharpest sword. Make us all 〈◊〉 turn again unto thee; and pray, and ma●… our supplications unto thee more frequent and more fervently then formerly we ha●… done; that thou mayst hear us, and he alt our land. O thou sword of the Lord, ho● long will it be ere thou be quiet? Ier: 47.6. Put up thy cell into thy skabbard; rest, and be still. O God of peace, o Prince of peace, thou and tho● only it is who makest wars to cease in all the world, Ps: 46.9 when so thou pleasest: who breakest the bow, and knappest the spear i● sunder, and burnest the chariots in the fire. O give thou unto us thy wounded people such rest on every side, 1. King 5.4. c: 8.57. that we may have neither adversary, nor evil occurrent. Do thou, o Lord our God, be with us as thou wert with our fathers: do not leave us, nor fork us. Make us incline our hearts to thee, vers: 58 ●d walk in thy ways, and keep thy commandments, and thy statutes, and thy judgements which thou commandedst our fathers. Thou, o God, art the God of peace; thou, Rom: 15.33. 〈◊〉 Christ, art the Prince of peace; thou, o heavenly and blessed Spirit, art the Dove of ●eace: o thou united Trinity give peace in his our land, that we may lie down, Lev: 26 6. and ●one may make us afraid. O let not the sword any longer go through our land; but do ●hou walk among us, and be our God; vers: 12 and let ●s be thy people. Give peace in our time, 〈◊〉 Lord: let the righteous flourish; Ps: 72.7 yea and abundance of peace, so long as the moon endureth. Give the King thy judgements, vers: 1. 〈◊〉 God; and thy righteousness unto the King's Sons. Let the mountains bring forth peace; vers: 3. and the little hills righteousness unto thy people. O King of Kings and Lord of Lords, do thou in mercy direct and continue our Sovereign Lord the King in the truth and purity of our religion, without inclining either to the right hand, or to the left. Make him always a Royal protector, a zealous professor, and a constant practiser of the same. Bless him, o thou God of blessings, in his Royal Person, bless him in his Consort, bless him in his Issue, bless him in his Counsellors, and bless him in all his People, even from Dan to Beersheba. Be propitious, o thou wonderful Counsell● in an especial and peculiar manner unto th● head and members of our high and most hon●…rable Parliament. Do thou knit and un● them, do thou guide and direct them in a● their counsels and consultations, that they ma● unanimously & jointly conclude upon such who some laws, as may tend to the suppression o● wickedness and vice, and the maintenance of thy true religion and virtue: rooting up all atheisne and profaneness, all heresy and superstition, all schism and faction; that both church and common wealth; may be religiously and firmly knitted and tied together in the unity of the spirit, Ps. 85.11. by the bond of peace. Let thy truth, o Go● of truth, flourish out of the earth; and righteousness look down from heaven. Do thou Lo● show thy loving kindness unto thy people; vers: 12 〈◊〉 let our land give its increase. Let thy peop●… dwell in peaceable habitations, Isa. 32.18. and in su● dwellings, and in quiet resting places. Cau●… thou us to beat our swords into plo● shares, c: 2.4. and our spears into pruning-hookes● and suffer us not to learn such civil war● any more. c: 11.5. Let righteousness be the gird● of our loins, and faithfulness the girdle of our reins. vers. 6. Let the wolf also dwell with t● lamb, and the leopard lie down with the ki● and the calf, and the young lion, and the fatling together; and let a little child lead● them. vers. 8. Let a sucking child play on the hole of ●he aspe; and a weaned child put his hand on the cockatrice den. Break thou the bow, Hos: 2.18. and the sword, and the battle out of the earth; and make us to lie down safely. vers. 19 Betrothe us unto thee for ever in righteousness, and in judgement and in loving kindness, and in mercies. O let us sit down every one under our vines, Mic: 4.4. and under our fig trees; & let there be none en make us afraid. Glory be to thee, o God in the highest, Luc: 2.14. Io: 14.27. 1. Sam. 25.6. 2. Thes. 3.16. Rom: 5.1. Eph. 2.14. and on earth peace; and good will towards men. Suffer not, o eternal peace, the hearts of us to be troubled, neither let us be afraid. Peace be both to us, and peace be to our houses, and peace be to all that we have; and that in and through him who is the Lord of peace. justify us all by faith, that we may have peace with thee our God, through our Lord jesus Christ: for he is our peace who hath made both, one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us. The peace of thee our God, Phil: 4.7. which passeth all understanding, keep all our hearts and minds through jesus Christ our only Lord and Saviour. Amen. The Third prayer; wherein the Lord is humbly implored that our Bloody battles may be turned into a Spiritual war-fare. O Eternal & blessed Redeemer, Mat: 10 34. vers. 35 thou who camest not to send pea●… on earth, but the sword; and to sets man at variance against his father and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law; and to cause that a man's foes should be those of his own household: vers: 36 behold in mercy, I most humbly beseech thee, this Sick and wound●… land, wherein those words of my Redeem according to the letter are most strictly made good. O my God, my only stay and comfort, my only refuge & tower of defence, be pleased I beseech thee, to turn the letter into the spirit, that what is verified in the first senst may be made true only in the last. Whe● Knowledge and Life grew upon Trees, Innocen Adam was neither dull of apprehension, Cen: 2.9. no● fearful of death. But since his Fall we find to our griefs that we neither understand thy word of truth so fully as we should; nor art we freed from the hourly fears of death & destruction. But for as much as thou, o my God, hast been a teacher of peace and righteousness unto thy people, and that the● 〈◊〉 Civil and bloody Wars are no other than 〈◊〉 judgement sent from thee upon the heads of 〈◊〉 for our crimson iniquities: do thou teach is all, I humbly pray thee, that we ought not to war after the flesh, 2. Cor. 10.3. though we walk 〈◊〉 the flesh. Thine Apostle tell's us that the weopons of our war fare ought not to be carnal, vers. 4. ●ut spiritual, mighty through thee to the pulling down of strong holds: vers. 5. casting down imagination's, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of thee our God; and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. O Lord our God, do thou make us all as strangers and pilgrims, 1. Pet. 2.11. to obstaine from fleshly lusts which war against the soul; that ●hus we may war a good war-fare. 1. Tim. 1.18. c. 6.12. To this purpose teach us, I pray thee to fight the good fight of faith: and that we may be the better fitted for it, Eph. 6.11. make us to put on the whole armour of thee our God, that we may ●he able to stand against the wiles of the devil. vers. 14 vers. 15 Do thou enable us to stand, having our loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and our feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. Above all things make us take the shield of faith, vers. 16 wherewith we shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked; vers. 17 Rom. 13.12. 2. Cor● 6.7. and the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of thee our God. Arm us, o father, with the armour of light, and with the armour of righteousness on the right h●… and on the left: 2. Tim: 2.3. and then shall we lea●… endure hardness, as good souldi●rs of jesus Ch●… Make our Captains such as was the righ●… teous Centurion in the gospel; Mat. 8.9. Act: 10 1. vers: 2. or like devout Cornelius, a centurion of the Itali●…band: even devout men, fearing thee our Ge● with all their house holds; giving much alme●… the people; and praying to thee always. Tea●… our inferior soldiers to know that it is the● duty to do violence to no man, Luc: 3.14. neither 〈◊〉 accuse any falsely, and to be contented with th● wages. Rom. 13.12. Let them know and consider that 〈◊〉 night is far spent, and the day is at hand: mak● them therefore to cast off the works of darkness and to put on the armour of light. vers. 13 'Cause tho● us all to walk honestly, as in the day: not rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering as wantonness, vers. 14 not in strife and envying: 〈◊〉 putting on thee our Lord jesus Christ; as making no provision for the flesh to fulfil 〈◊〉 lusts thereof. 2. Tim. 4.7. So shall we fight a good fight and finish our courses, and keep the faith: assuring ourselves with thine holy Apostle that henceforth is laid up for us a crow● of righteousness which thou Lord the righteo●… judge shalt give us at that day; vers. 8. and not 〈◊〉 us only but unto all them all so which lov● thine appearing. Heb: 13 20. Now thou God of peac● who broughest again from the dead our Lor● jesus Christ, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant; vers. 2●. Make us perfect in every good work to do thy will, working in us that which is well pleasing in thy sight, through ●esus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever: Amen. FINIS.