A brief CHARACTER of the LOW-COUNTRIES under the STATES  
Being three weeks observation of the Vices and virtues of the INHABITANTS  
— Non seria semper.  
LONDON, Printed for Henry Seile. 〈◊〉   

To the READER.  
AS I live Gentlemen I am amazed how any piece could be made such minced-meat as this ha●●h been by a twice-printed Copy, which I find flying aroad to abuse the Author, who long since, traveling for compaenies-sake with a friend into the Low.. Countries would needs for his own recreation write this Essay of them as He then found them: I am sure as far from ever thinking to have it public, as he was from any private spleen to the Nation: or any person in it; for I have moved him often to print it, but could never get his consent, his modesty ever esteeming it among his puerilia, and (as he said) a piece too light for a prudential man to publish: the truth is, it was merely occasional in his youth, and the time so little, that he had for observation (his stay there not being above three weeks) that it could not well be expected he should say more; and though the former part be joculary and sportive, yet the seriousness of the latter part, renders the Character no way injurious to the people. And now finding some ruffled feathers only presented for the whole bird, and having a perfect Copy by me, I have presumed to trespass so much upon the Author as to give it you (in vindication of him) so as I am confident it was dressed by his own Pen. And after I have begged his pardon for exposing it without his Warrant, I shall leave you to judge by comparing this and the former Impressions, whether or no he hath not been abused sufficiently.   

Three weeks' Observations of the Low-Countries; especially HOLLAND.  
THey are a general Sea-Land. The great Bog of Europe. There is not such another Marsh in the world; that's flat. They are an universal Quagmire, epitomised, A green Cheese in pickle. There is in them an Aequilibrium of mud and water. A strong Earthquake would shake them to a Chaos, from which the successive force of the Sun, rather than Creation, hath a little e mended them. They are the Ingredients of a black pudding, and want only stirring together. Marry 'tis best making on't in a dry Summer, else you will have more blood than grist; and than have you no way to make it serve for any thing, but to tread it under Zona Torrida, and so dry it for Turfs. Says one, it affords the people one commodity beyond all the other Regions; if they die in perdition, they are so low, that they have a shorter cut to Hell than the rest of their neighbours. And for this cause, perhaps all strange Religions throng thither, as naturally inclining towards their centre. Besides, their Riches shows them to be Pluto's Region, and you all know what part that was which the Poets did of old assign him. Here is Styx, Acheron, Cocytus, and the rest of those muddy streams that have made matter for the Fablers. Almost every one is a Charon here, and if you have but a Naulum to give, you cannot want or Boat or Pilot. To confirm all, let but some of our Separatists be asked, and they shall swear that the Elysian Fields are there.  
It is an excellent Country for a despairing Lover: for every corner affords him willow to make a Garlandon; but if justice doom him to be hanged on any other tree, he may in spite of the sentence live long and confident. If he had rather quench his spirits than suffocate them, so rather choose to feed Lobsters than Crows; 'tis but leaping from his window, and he lights in a River or Sea; for most of their dwellings stand like privies in moted houses, hanging still over the water. If none of these cure him, keep him but a winter in a house without a stove, and that shall cool him.  
The soil is all fat, though wanting the colour to show it so; for indeed it is the buttock of the World, full of veins and blood, but no bones in't. Had S. Steven been condemned to suffer here, he might have been alive at this day; for unless it be in their paved Cities, gold is a great deal more plentiful than stones, except it be living ones, and then for their heaviness you may take in almost all the Nation.  
'tis a singular place to fat monkeys in. There are Spiders as big as Shrimps, and I think as many. Their Gardens being moist, abound with these. No creatures; for sure they were bred, not made, Were they but as venomous as rank, to gather herbs were to hazard martyrdom. They are so large, that you would almost believe the Hesperides were here, and these the Dragons that did guard them.  
You may travail the Country though you have not a guide: for you cannot balk your road without the hazard of drowning. There is not there any use of a Harbinger. Wheresoever men go the way is made before them. Had they Cities large as their Walls, Rome would be esteemed a babble. Twenty miles in length is nothing for a wagon to be hurried on one of them, where if your foreman be sober, you may travail in safety, otherwise, you must have stronger faith than Peter had, else you sink immediately. A starting horse endangers you to two deaths at once, breaking of your neck, and drowning.  
If your way be not thus, it hangs in the water, and at the Approach of your wagon shall shake as if it were Ague-strooken. Duke D' Alva's taxing of the tenth penny frighted it into a palsy, which all the Mountebanks they have bred since could never tell how to Cure.  
'Tis indeed but a bridge of swimming earth, or a flag somewhat thicker than ordinary, if the strings crack your course is shortened, you can neither hope for Heaven nor fear Hell, you shall be sure to stick fast between them, Marry if your Faith flow Purgatory height, you may pray if you will for that to cleanse you from the Mud shall soil you.  
'tis a green sod in water, where if the German Eagle dares to bathe himself, he's glad again to perch that he may dry his wings.  
Some things they do that seem Wonders. 'Tis ordinary to see them fish for fire in water, which they Catch in nets and transport to land in their boats, Where they spread it more smoothly than a Mercer doth his Velvet when he would hook in an heir upon his coming to age. Thus lying in a field, you would think you saw a Cantle of Green Cheese' spread over with black butter.  
If Aetna be hells mouth or foregate, sure here is found the Postern. 'Tis the Port-Esquiline of the world, where the full earth doth vent her crude black gore, which the Inhabitants scrape away for fuel, as men with spoons do excrements from Civit Cats.  
Their ordinary packhorses are all of wood, carry their bridles in their tails, and their burdens in their bellies. A strong tide and a stiff Gale are the spurs that make them speedy. When they travel they touch no ground; and when they stand still they ride; and are never in danger but when they drink up too much of their way.  
There is a Province among them, where every woman carries a coney in a Lambskin. 'Tis a custom and not one that travelse ver leaves it behind her. Now guess if you can what beast that is, which is clad in a fur both of hair and wool.  
They dress their Meat in aqua Caelesti, for it springs not as ours from the Earth, but comes to them, as Manna to the Israelites, falling from heaven. This they keep under ground till it stinks, and then they pump it out again for use. So when you wash your hands with one hand, you had need hold your nose with the other; for though it be not Cordial, 'tis certainly a strong water.  
The Elements are here at variance, the subtle over swaying the grosser, The fire consumes the earth, and the air the water, they burn Turffs, and drain their grounds with Windmills; As if the colic were a remedy for the Stone; And they would prove against Philosophy the world's Conflagration to be natural, even showing thereby that the very Element of Earth is Combustible.  
The land that they have they keep as neatly as a Courtier does his Beard. They have a Method in mowing. 'tis so interveined with Waters and Rivers, that it is impossible to make a Common among them. Even the Brownists are here ata stand, only they hold their pride in wrangling for that which they never will find. Our Justices would be much at ease although our English poor were still among them: For whatsoever they do they can break no hedges. Sure had the wise men of Gotham lived here, they would have studied some other death for their cuckoo.  
Their Ditches they frame as they list; and distinguish them into nooks, as my Lord major's Cook doth his Custards. Cleanse them they do often; but 'tis as Physicians give their potions, more to catch the fish, than cast the Mud out.  
Though their Country be part of a mainland, yet every house almost stands in an Island. And that though a Boor dwell in it, looks as smug, as a Lady that hath newly locked up her colours, and laid by her srons. A gallant masking suit sits not more complete, than a Coat of thatch though of many years wearing.  
If it stand dry 'tis embraced by Vines, as if it were against the nature of a Dutchman not to have Bacchus his neighbour. If you find it lower seated, 'tis only a close Arto rin a plump of willows and Alders; pleasant enough while the dog-day's last; But those past once, you must practise wading, or be prisoner till the next spring. Only a hard frost, with the help of a sledge, may release you.  
The Bridge to this is an outlandish plank with a box of Stones to poise it withal, which with the least help turns round, like the Executioner when he whips off a head. That when the Master is over, stands drawn, and then he is in his Castle.  
'tis sure his fear that renders him suspicious. That he may therefore certainly see who enters, you shall ever find his window made over his door. But it may be that is to show you his Pedigree; for though his Ancestors were never known, their Arms are there; which (in spite of Heraldry) shall bear their atchieument with a Helmet for a Baron at least. Marry the Field perhaps shall be charged with 3. basquets, to show what trade his father was.  
Escutcheons are as plentiful as Gentry is scarce. Every man there is his own Herald; and he that has but wit enough to invent a Coat, may challenge it as his own.  
When you are entered the house, the first thing you encounter is a Looking glass. No question but a true emblem of politic hospitality; for though it reflect yourself in your own figure, 'tis yet no longer than while you are there before it. When you are gone once, it flatters the next comer, without the least remembrance that you e'er were there.  
The next are the vessels of the house marshaled about the room like watchmen. All as neat as if you were in a citizen's wives Cabinet; for unless it be themselves, they let none of God's creatures lose any thing of their native beauty.  
Their houses, especially in their Cities, are the best eye-beauties of their Country. For cost and sight they far exceed our English, but they want their magnificence. Their lining is yet more rich than their outside; not in hangings, but pictures, which even the poorest are there fur-nishtwith. Not a cobbler but has his toys for ornament. Were the knacks of all their houses set together, there would not be such another Bartholmew-Fair in Europe.  
Their Artists for these are as rare as thought; for they can paint you a fat hen in her feathers; and if you want the language, you may learn a great deal of Dutch by their signs; for what they are they ever write under them. So by this device hang up more honesty than they keep.  
Coaches are as rare as Comets; and those that live loosely need not fear one punishment, which often vexes such with us: They may be sure, though they be discovered, they shall not be carted.  
All their Merchandise they draw through the streets on Sledges; or as we on Hurdles do traitors to execution.  
Their rooms are but several land boxes: if so, you must either go out to spit, or blush when you see the Map brought.  
Their beds are no other than land-cabines, high enough to need a ladder or stairs. Up once, you are walled in with wainscot, and that is good discretion to avoid the trouble of making your Will every night; for once falling out else would break your neck perfectly. But if you die in it, this comfort you shall leave your friends, that you died in clean linen.  
Whatsoever their estates be, their houses must be fair. Therefore from Amsterdam they have banished sea-coal, lest it soil their buildings, of which the starelier sort are sometimes sententious, and in the front carry some conceit of the Owner. As to give you a taste in these.  
Christus Adjutor Mens;  
Hoc abdicato Perenne Quaero;  
Hic Medio tutius Itur.  
Every door seems studded with Diamonds. The nails and hinges hold a constant brightness, as if rust there were not a quality incident to iron. Their houses they keep cleaner than their bodies; their bodies than their souls. Go to one you shall find the Andirons shut up in net work. At a second, the warming pan muffled in Italian cutwork. At a third the Sconce clad in cambric. And like a Crown advanced in the middle of the house, for the woman there is the head of the husband, so takes the horn to her own charge, which she sometimes multiplies, and bestows the increase on her man.  
'tis true, they are not so ready at this play as the English; for neither are they so generally bred to't, nor are their men such linnen-lifters. Idleness and Courtship has not banished honesty. They speak more, and do less; yet doth their blood boil high and their veins are full, which argues strongly that' when they will they may take up the custom of entertaining strangers. And having once done it, I believe they will be notable, for I have heard they trade more for love than money, but 'tis of the sport not the man, and therefore when they like the pastime they will reward the Gamester; otherwise their gross feed and clownish breeding hath spoiled them for being nobly minded. And if you once in public discover her private favours or pretend to more than is civil, she falls off like fairy wealth disclosed, and turns like beer with lightning to a sourness, which neither Art nor labour can ever make sweet again.  
But this I must give you on report only; experience herein hath neither made me fool nor wise.  
The people are generally Boorish; yet none but may be bred to a Statesman, they having all this gift not to be so nice-conscienced but that they can turn out religion, to let in policy.  
Their country is the God they worship. War is their Heaven. Peace is their Hell, and the Spaniard is the Devil they hate. Custom is their Law, and their will reason.  
You may sooner convert a Jew than make an ordinary Dutchman yield to Arguments that cross him. An old bawd is easilyer turned Puritan, than a Waggoner persuaded not to bait thrice in nine miles. And when he doth, his horses must not stir, but have their manger brought them into the way, where in a top-sweat they eat their grass, and drink their water, and presently after hurry away. For they ever drive as if they were all the sons of Nimishi, and were furiously either pursuing an enemy or flying him.  
His spirits are generated from the English Beer, and that makes him headstrong. His body is built of pitckled Herring. And they render him testy: these with a little Butter, onions & Holland Cheese are the ingredients of an ordinary Dutchman; which a voyage to the East-Indies, with the heat of the equinoctial Consolidates.  
If you see him fat he hath been rooting in a Cabbage ground and that bladdered him. Viewing him naked you will pray him to pull of his Masque and Gloves, or wish him to hide his face, that he may appear more lovely. For that and his hands are Egypt, however his body be Europe. He hath exposed them so much to the Sun and water as he is now his own disguise, and without a Vizard may serve in any Antimasque you put him in.  
For their Condition they are Churlish as their breeder Neptune: and without doubt very ancient; for they were bred before manners were in fashion. Yet all they have not, they account superfluity, which they say mendeth some, and marreth many.  
They should make good Justices; for they respect neither persons nor apparel. A boor in his liquored slop shall have as much good use as a courtier in his bravery; Nay more; for he that is but Courtly or Gentile, is among them like a Merlyn after Michaelmas in the field with grows. They wonder at and envy; but worship no such Images. Marry with a Silver hook you shall catch these Gudgeons presently. The love of gain being to them as natural as water to a Goose, or Carrion to any Kite that flies.  
They are seldom deceived; for they trust nobody; so by consequence are better to hold a fort than win it; yet they can do both. Trust them you must if you travel. For to ask a Bill of particulars is to purr in a wasp's nest; you must pay what they ask as sure as if it weareth' Assessment of a Subsidy.  
Compliment is an idleness they were never trained up in, and 'tis their happiness that Court vanities have not stole away their minds from business.  
Their being Sailors and soldiers have marred 2 parts already, if they bathe once in Court oil they are painted trapdoors. And shall then let the Jews build a City when e Harlem Mere is and after cozen 'em on't.  
They shall abuse a stranger for nothing, andafter a few base terms scotch one an other to a Carbonado, or as they do their Roaches when they fry them.  
Nothing can quiet them but money and liberty, yet when they have them they abuse both; but if you tell them so you awake their fury; and you may sooner calm the Sea than conjure that into compass again. Their anger hath no eyes. And their judgement doth not flow so much from reason as passion and partiality.  
They are in a manner all Aquatiles: and therefore the Spaniard calls them Water dogs. To this though you need not condescend; yet withal you may think they can catch you a duck as soon. Seagulls do not swim more readily: nor More hens from their nest run sooner to the water. Every thing is so made to swim among them, as it is a question if Elizeus his axe were now floating there, it would be taken for a miracle.  
They love none but those that do for them; and when they leave off, they neglect them. They have no friends but their kindred; which at every wedding, feast among themselves like Tribes.  
All that help them not, they hold popish; and take it for an argument of much honesty to rail bitterly against the King of Spain. And certainly this is the badge of an ill Nature, when they have once cast off the yoke, to be most virulent against those to whom of right they owe respect and service. Grateful dispositions, though by theirLords they be exempt from service, will yet be paying reverence and affection. I am confident that had they not been once the Subjects of Spain, they would have loved the nation better. But now cut of dying Duties ashes all the Blazes of hostility and flame. And 'tis sufficien ground to contemn their eternal hate, to know the world remembers, they were once the lawful subjects of that most Catholic Crown.  
Their shipping is the Babel which they boast on for the glory of their Nation. 'tis indeed a wonder, and they will have it so. But we may well hope they will never be so mighty by Land, lest they show us how doggedly they can insult where they get the mastery.  
'tis their own Chronicle business, which can tell you that at the siege of Leyden, a Fort being held by the Spanish, by the Dutch was after taken by Assault. The Defendants were put to the sword, where one of the Dutch in the fury of the slaughter, ripped up the captain's body, and with a barbarous hand tore out the yet living heart panting among the reeking bowels, then with his teeth rent it still warm with blood into gobbets, which he spitted over the battlements, in defiance to the rest of the Army.  
Oh Tigers breed! The Scythian-Bear could ne'er have been more savage, To be necessitated into cruelty, is a misfortune to the strongly tempted to it; but to let spleen rave, and mad it in resistless blood, shows nature steeped i'th' livid gall of passion; and beyond all brutishness displays the unnoble tyranny of a prevailing Coward.  
Their Navies are the whip of Spain, or the Arm wherewith they pull away his Indies. Nature hath not bread them so active for the land as some others: But at Sea they are water-Devils, to attempt things incredible.  
In Fleets they can fight close, and rather hazard all than save some, while others perish: but single, they will flag and fear like birds in a bush when the Sparrow-Hauks bells are heard.  
A Turkish man of War is as dreadful to them as a a Falcon to a Mallard; from whom their best remedy is to steal away. But if they come to blows, they want the valiant stoutness of the English, who will rather expire bravely in a bold resistance, than yield to the lasting slavery of becoming captives to so barbarous an enemy. And this shows they have not learned yet even Pagan Philosophy, which ever preferred an honourable death before a life thralled to perpetual slavery.  
Their ships lie like high woods in Winter: And if you view them on the Northside you friez without hope, for they ride so thick, that you can through them see no Sun to warm you with.  
Sailors among them are as common as beggars with us. They can drink, rail, swear, niggle, steal, and be lousy alike; but examining their use, a mess of their Knaves are worth a million of ours: for they in a boisterous rudeness can work, and live, and toil, whereas ours will rather laze themselves to poverty; and like cabbages left out in winter, rot away in the loathsomeness of a nauseous sloth.  
Almost all among them are Seamen born, and like frogs can live both on land and water. Not a Country Uriester but can handle an oar, steer a boat, raise a mast, and bear you out in the roughest straits you come in. The ship she avouches much better for sleep than a bed. Being full of humours, that is her cradle, which lulls and rocks her to a dull phlegmatickness, most of them looking like a full grown oyster boiled. Slime, humid air, water, and wet diet, have so bagged their cheeks, that some would take their paunches to be gotten above their chin.  
The country's government is a Democracy, and there had need be many to rule such a rabble of rude ones. Tell them of a King, and they could cut your throat in earnest. The very name carries servitude in it, and they hate it more than a Jew doth Images, a Woman old age, or a Nonconformist a surplice.  
None among them hath Authority by inheritance, that were the way in time to parcel out their country to Families: They are chosen all as our Kings choose Sheriffs for the Counties: not for their sin of Wit, but for the Wealth they have to bear it out withal; which they so over-affect that MynHere shall walk the Streets as Usurers go to bawdy houses, all alone and melancholy. And if they may be had cheap, he will daub his faced cloak with two pennyworth of pickled Herrings which himself shall carry home in a string. A common voice hath given him pre-eminence, & he loses it by living as he did when he was but a Boor. But if you pardon what is past, they are about thinking it time to learn more civility.  
Their justice is strict if it cross not policy: but rather than hinder traffic tolerates any thing.  
There is not under heaven such a Den of several Serpents as Amsterdam is, you may be what Devil you will, so you push not the State with your horns.  
'tis an University of all Religions, which grow here confurdly (like stocks in a Nursery) without either order or pruning. If you be unsettled in your Religion, you may here try all, and take at last what you like best. If you fancy none, you have a pattern to follow, of two, that would be a Church by themselves.  
'tis the Fair of all the Sects, where all the pedlars of Religion have leave to vent their toys, their ribbons, and fanatic Rattles. And should it be true it were a cruel brand which Romists stick upon them. For (say they) as the Chameleon changes into all Colours but white: so they admit of all Religions but the True. For the Papist only may not exercise his in public Yet his restraint they plead is not in hatred but justice: because the Spaniard abridges the Protestant. And they had rather show a little spleen, than not cry quit with their Enemy. His act is their Warrant; which the●●●●etaliat justly. And for this reason rather than the Dunkirks they take shall not die, Amsterdam having none of their own, shall borrow a hangman from Harlem.  
Now albeit the Papists do them wrong herein, yet can it not excuse their boundless toleration, which shows they place their republic in a higher esteem than Heaven itself and had rather cross upon God than it. For whosoever disturbs the Civil Government is liable to punishment: But the Decrees of Heaven. and Sanctions of the Deity, any one may break unchecked, by professing what false Religion he please. So Consulary Rome of old, brought all the Straggling Gods of other Nations to the City, where blinded superstition paid an Adoration to them.  
In their Families they all are equals, and you have no way to know the master and Mistress, but by taking them in bed together. It may be those are they: Otherwise Malky can prate as much, laugh as loud, be as bold, and sit as well as her Mistress.  
Had Logicians lived here first, Father and Son had never passed so long for Relatives. They are here Individuals, for no Demonstrance of Duty or Authority can distinguish them, as if they were created together, and not born successively. And as for your Mother, bidding her good-night, and kissing her, is punctual blessing.  
Your man shall be saucy, and you must not strike; if you do, he shall complain to the Schont, and perhaps have recompense. To is a dainty place to please boys in: for your Father shall bargain with your schoolmaster not to whip you: if he doth, he shall revenge it with his knife, and have Law for it.  
Their apparel is civil enough and good enough: but very uncomely; and hath usually more stuffthan shape. Only their Huykes are commodious in winter: but 'tis to be lamented, that they have not wit enough to lay them by when summer comes.  
Their women would have good faces if they did not mar them with making. Their Ear-wyers have so nipped in their Cheeks, that you would think some fairy, to do them a mischief, had pinched them behind with tongues. These they dress, as if they would show you all their wit lay behind, and they needs would cover it. And thus ordered, they have much more forehead than face.  
They love the English Gentry well; and when soldiers come over to be billeted among them, they are Emulous in choosing of their guest, who fares much the better for being liked by his Hostess.  
Men and Women are there starched so blue, that if they once grow old, you would verily believe you saw Winter walking up to the neck in a Barrel of Indigo: And therefore they rail at England for spending no more Blewing.  
Your men among them is elseclad tolerably, unless he inclines to the Sea-fashion: and then are his breeches, yawning at the knees, as if they were about to swallow his legs unmercifully.  
They are far there from going Naked, for of a whole woman you can see but half a face. As for her hand that shows her a sore Labourer; which you shall ever find as it were in recompense loaden with Rings to the cracking of her fingers. If you look lower she's a Monkey chained about the Middle, and had rather want it in diet, than not have silver links to hang her keys in.  
Their Gowns are fit to hide great Bellies, but they make them show so unhandsome that men do not care for getting them. Mary this you shall find to their commendation, their smocks are ever whiter than their skin.  
Where the Women lies in, the Ringle of the door does penance, and is lapped about with linen, either to show you that loud knocking may wake the child; Or else that for a month the Ring is not to be run at. But if the child be dead there is thrust out a Nosegay tied to a sticks end; Perhaps for an emblem of the life of man, which may wither as soon as born; or else to let you know, that though these fade, upon their gathering, yet from the same stock the next year a new shoot may spring.  
You may rail at us for often changing; but I assure you with them is a great deal more following the fashion; which they will plead for as the ignorant Laity for their faith. They will keep it because their Ancestors lived in it. Thus they will rather keep an old fault though they discover errors in it, than in an easy change to meet a Certain Remedy. For their diet, they eat much and spend little: when they set out a Fleet to the Indies, It shall live three months on the Offals, which we here fear would surfeit our swine: yet they feed on't, and are still the same Dutchmen.  
In their houses Roots and stockfish are staple-commodities. If they make a feast & add flesh, they have art to keep it hot more days, than a Pigs-head in by Corner. Salt meats, and sour Cream, they hold him a fool that loves not, only the last they correct with Sugar, and are not half so well pleased with having it sweet at first, as with letting it sour that they may sweeten it again, as if a woman were not half so pleasing being easily won, as after a scolding fit she comes by man to be calmed again.  
Fish indeed they have brave and plentiful; and herein practice hath made them Cooks as good as ere Lucullus his latter kitchen had, which is some recompense for their wilfulness, for you can neither pray nor buy them to alter their own Cookery.  
To a feast they come readily, but being set once you must have patience. They are longer eating meat than we preparing it. If it be to supper you conclude timely when you get away by daybreak. They drink down the evening star, and drink up the morning star. At those times it goes hard with a stranger, all in courtesy will be drinking to him, and all that do so he must pledge: till he doth, the filled cups circle round his Trencher, from whence they are not taken away till emptied. For though they give you day for payment, yet they will not abate the sum.  
They sit not there as we in England, men together, and women first, But ever intermingled with a man between; and instead of March panes, and such juncates, 'tis good Manners if any be there, to carry away a piece of Apple by in your pocket.  
The time they there spend, is in eating well, in drinking much, and prating most. For the truth is, the completest drinker in Europe is your English Gallant. There is no such Consumer of liquour as the Quaffing off of his Healths. Time was the Dutch had the better of it; but of late he hath lost it by prating too long over his pot. He sips, and laughs, and tells his tale, and in a Tavern is more prodigal of his time, than his Wine. He drinks as if he were short wound; and as it were eats his drink by morsels, rather besieging his brains then assaulting them. But the English man charges home on the sudden, swallows it whole, and like a hasty tide, fills, and flows himself, till the mad brain swims, and tosses on the hasty fume. As if his Liver were burning out his stomach, and he striving to quench it, drowns it. So the one is drunk sooner, and the other longer. As if striving to recover the wager, the Dutchman would still be the perfectest soker.  
In this Progress you have seen some of their Vices, now view a Fairer Object.   

Solomon tells of four things that are small and full of wisdom, The Pismire, the Grass-hopper, the Coney, and the Spider.  
For PROVIDENCE they are the Pismires of the World: and having nothing but whatgrafs affords them; are yet for almost all Provisions, the storehouse of the whole of Christendom. What is it which there may not be found in plenty? They making by their industry all the fruits of the vast Earth their own. What Land can boast a privilcgethat they do not partake of? They have not of their own enough materials to compile one ship; Yet how many Nations do they furnish? The remoter angles of the world do by their pains deliver them their sweets. And being of themselves in want, their diligence hath made them both Indies nearer home.  
They are frugal to the saving of Eg. shells, and maintain it for a maxim, that a thing lasts longer mended than new.  
Their Cities are their molehills; Their Schutes and Flyboats, creep and return with their store for Winter. Every one is busy and carries his grain; as if every City were a several Hive, and the Bees not permitting a drone to inhabit. For idle persons must find some other mansion. And lest necessity bereave men of means to set them on Work, there are public Banks that (without use) lend upon pawns to all the poor that want.  
There is a season when the Pismires fly, and so each Summer they likewise Swarm abroad with their Armies.  
The Ant says one, is a wiseCreature, but a shrewd thing in a Garden or Orchard. And truly so are they; For they look upon others too little, and upon themselves too much. And wheresoever they light in a pleasant or rich soil, like suckers and lower plants, they rob from the root of that tree which gives them shade and protection, so their wisdom is not indeed heroic or Numnial; as Courting an universal Good; But rather narrow and restrictive; As being a wisdom but for themselves. Which to speak plainly, is descending into Craft; and is but the sinister part of that which is really Noble and celestial.  
Nay in all they hold so true a proportion with the Emmet, as you shall not find they want so much as the sting.  
For dwelling in Rocks they are coneys. And while the Spanish tumbler plays about them, they rest secure in their own inaccessible Berries. Where have you under heaven, such impregnable Fortifications? Where Art beautifies Nature, and Nature makes Art invincible: Herein indeed they differ; The coneys find Rocks, and they make them. And as they would invert the miracle of Moses, They raise them in the bosom of the waves. Where within these twenty years, ships furrowed in the pathlesOcean, the peaceful plough now unbowels the fertile earth, which at night is carried home to the fairest Mansions in Holland.  
Every Town hath his Garrison: and the keys of the Gates in the nighttime, are not trusted but in the statehouse. From these holds they bolt abroad for provisions, and then return to their Fastnese replenished.  
For war they are Grasshoppers, & without a King, go forth in bands to conquer Kings. They have not only defended themselves at their own home, but have braved the Spaniard at his. In Anno 1599, under the command of Vander Does, was the Grand Canary taken. The chief City sacked; the King of Spain's Ensigns taken down, and the colours of his Excellency set up in their room. In the year 1600 the battle of Nieuport was a gallant piece, when with the loss of a thousand or little more, they slew 7000 of their Enemies, took above a 100 Ensigns, the admiral of Arragon a prisoner. The very furniture of the Arch Duke's own chamber and Cabinet, yea the signet that belonged to his hand.  
In 1607. they assailed the Armado of Spain in the Bay of Gibraeltar, under covert of the Castle and Towns Ordnance, and with the loss of 150, slew above 2000, and ruined the whole Fleet. Certainly a bolder attempt hath ever scarce been done. The Indian Mastiff never was more fierce a 'gainst the angry Lion. Nor can the Cock in his crowing valour, become more prodigal of his blood than they.  
There hardly is upon earth such a school of martial Discipline. 'tis the Christian world's Academy for Arms; whither all the the neighbour-Nations resort to be instructed; where they may observe how unresistible a blow, many small grains of powder will make being heaped together, which yet if you separate, can do nothing but sparkle and die.  
Their recreation is the practice of Arms; And they learn to be soldiers sooner than men. Nay as if they placed a Religion in Arms, every Sunday is concluded with the trained Band's marching through their Cities.  
For industry, they are Spiders, and are in the Palaces of Kings. Of old they were the guard of the person of the Roman Emperor, And by the Romans themselves declared to be their friends and companions. There is none have the like intelligence; Their Merchants are at this day the greatest of the Universe. What Nation is it where they have not insinuated? Nay, which they have not almost anatomised, and even discovered the very intrinsic veins on't?  
Even among us, they shame us with their industry, which makes them seem as if they had a faculty from the world's Creation, out of water to make dry land appear. They win our drowned grounds which we cannot recover, and chase back Neptune to his own old Banks.  
All that they do is by such labour as it seems extracted out of their own bowels. And in their wary thrift, they hang by such a slender sustentation of life, that one would think their own weight should be enough to crack it.  
Want of Idleness keeps them from want. And 'tis their Diligence makes them Rich.  
A fruitful Soil increaseth the Harvest. A plentiful sun augmenteth the Store; and seasonable showers drop fatness on the Crop we reap. But no Rain fructifies more than the dew of Sweat.  
You would think being with them you were in old Israel, for you find not a beggar among them. Nor are they mindful of their own alone; but strangers also partake of their Care and Bounty. If they will depart, they have money for their Convoy. If they stay, they have work provided. If unable, they find an hospital. Their Providence extends even from the Prince to the catching of flies. And lest you lose an afternoon by fruitless mourning, by two of the clock all Burials must end. Wherein to prevent the wast of ground, they pile Coffin upon Coffin till the Sepulchre be full.  
In all their Manufactures they hold a truth and constancy: for they are as fruits from Trees, the same every year that they are at first; Not Apples one year and Crabs the next; and so for ever after. In the sale of these they also are at a word, they will gain rather than exact; and have not that way whereby our Citizens abuse wise, and cozen the ignorant; and by their Infinite over-asking for commodities proclaim to the world that they would cheat all if it were in their power.  
The Depravation of Manners they punish with Contempt, but the Defects of Nature they favour with Charity. Even their Bedlam is a place so curious, that a Lord might live in it; Their Hospital might lodge a Lady: So that safely you may conclude, amongst them, even Poverty and Madness do both inhabit handsomely. And though Vice makes every thing turn sordid, yet the State will have the very Correction of it to be neat, as if they would show that though obedience fail, yet Government must be still itself, and decent. To prove this they that do but view their Bridewell will think it may receive a Gentleman though a Gallant. And so their prison a wealthy Citizen. But for a poor man 'tis his best policy to be laid there, for he that cast him in must maintain him.  
Their Language though it differ from the higher Germany, yet hath it the same ground, and is as old as Babel. And albeit harsh, yet so lofty and full a Tongue as made Goropius Becanus maintain it for the speech of Adam in his Paradise. And surely if there were not other reasons against it, the significancy of the ancient Teutonic might carry it from the primest Dialect. Stevin of Bruges reckons up 2170 Monasillables, which being compounded, how richly do they grace a Tongue? A Tongue that for the general profession is extended further than any that I know. Through both the Germanies, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and sometimes France, England, Spain. And still among us all our old words are Dutch, with yet so little Change, that certainly it is in a manner the same that it was 2000 years ago, without the too much Mingled Borrowings of their neighbour Nations.  
The Germans are a people that more than all the world I think may boast sincerity, as being for some thousands of years a pure and unmixed people. And surely I see not but their conduction by Tuisco from the building of Babel, may passas unconfuted Story, they yet retaining the Appellation from his Name.  
They are a large and numerous people having ever kept their own, and transported Colonies into other Nations. In Italy were the Longobards; In Spain the Goths and Vandals; In France the Franks or Franconians; In England the Saxons: having in all these left reverend Steps of their Antiquity and Language.  
It is a noble Testimony that so grave an Historian as Tacitus hath left still extant of them, and written above fifteen hundred years ago. Deliberant dum fingere nesciunt: Constituunt dum errare non possunt. They deliberate when they cannot dissemble: and resolve when they cannot err.  
Two hundred and ten years he reckons the Romans were in conquering them. In which space on either side were the losses sad and fatal. So as neither the Samnites, the Carthaginians, the Spaniards, the Gauls, no nor the Parthians ever troubled them like the Germans. They slew and took prisoners several Commanders of the highest rank, as Carbo, Cassius, S. Caurus Aurelius, Cervilius Cepio, and M. Manlius. They defeated five Consulary Armies, and Varus with three legions, yet after all this he concludes, Triumphati Magis quam victi sunt, They were rather Triumphed over than conquered. To confirm this, the keeping of their own language is an argument unanswerable. The change whereof ever follows upon the fully vanquished, as we may see it did in Italy, France, Spain, England.  
And this he speaks of the Nation in General. Nor was the opinion of the Romans less worthy in particular concerning these lower Provinces which made them for their valour and warlike minds, style them by the name of Gallia Belgica, and especially of the Batavians, which were the Hollanders and part of gelders. You may hear in what honourable terms he mentions them, where speaking of the several people of Germany he says, Omniumharam Gentium virtute praecipui Batavi. Nam nec tributis contemnuntur nec publicanus atterit: exempti oneribus & Collationibus, et tantum in usum praeliorum sepositi, velut tela atque Arma Bellis reservantur. Of all these Nations the principal in valiant virtue are the Batavians: for neither are they become despicable by paying of Tribute, nor oppressed too much by the Farmor of public Revenues; but free from Taxes and Contributions of servility; they are specially set apart for the fight, as Armour and Weapons only reserved for War.  
All this even at this day they seem to make good: For of all the world, they are the people that thrive and grow rich by the war, like the Poropisce that plays in the storm, but at other times keeps sober under the water.  
War, which is the world's ruin, and raven's upon the beauty of all, is to them Prosperity and Ditation. And surely the reason of this is their strength in shipping, the open Sea, their many fortified Towns, and the Country by reason of its lowness and plentiful Irriguation becoming unpassable for an army when the winter but approaches. Otherwise it is hardly possible that so small a parcel of Mankind, should brave the most potent Monarch of Christendom, who in his own hands holds the Mines of the wars sinews, Money, and hath now got a command so wide, that out of his Dominions the sun can neither rise nor set.  
The whole seventeen Provinces are not above a thousand English miles in circuit. And in the state's hands there is not seven of those. Yet have they in the field sometimes 60000 soldiers, besides those which they always keep in Garrison, which cannot be but a considerable number near thirty thousand more. There being in the whole Countries above two hundred walled Towns & Cities. So that if they have People for the War, one would wonder where they should get money to pay them; They being when they have an Army in the field at a thousand pound a day charge extraordinary.  
To maintain this, their excise is an unwasted Mine, which with the infiniteness of their traffic, and their untired industry, is by every part of the World in something or other Contributed to.  
The Sea yields them by two sorts of Fish only, Her rings and Cod, ●● sixty thousand pound per annum; for which they go out some times seven or eight hundred boats at once, and for greater ships they are able to set out double the number.  
Their Merchandise amounted in Guicciardines' time to fourteen Millions per Annum. Whereas England which is in compass almost as large again, and hath the Ocean as a Ring about her, made not above six Millions yearly: so sedulous are these Bees to labour and enrich their Hive.  
As they on the Sea, so the women are busy on Land in weaving of Nets, and helping to add to the heap. And though a husband's long absence might tempt them to lascivious ways: yet they hate adultery, and are resolute in Matrimonial chastity. I do not remember that ever I read in Story, of any great Lady of that nation, that hath been taxed with looseness. And questionless 'tis their everbing busy makes them not have leisure for lust.  
'tis idleness that is Cupid's Nurse; but business breaks his Bow, and makes his arrows useless.  
They are both Merchants and Farmers. And there act parts, which men can but discharge with us. As if they would show that the Soul in all is masculine, and not varied into weaker sex as are the bodies that they wear about them.  
Whether this be from the nature of their Country, in which if they be not laborious they cannot live; or from an Innate Genius of the people by a superior Providence adapted to them of such a situation; from their own inclination addicted to parsimony; from custom in their way of breeding; from any Transcendency of active parts more than other Nations; or from being in their Country, like people in a City besieged, whereby their own virtues do more compact and fortify; I will not determine. But certainly in generally they are the most painful and diligent people on earth: And of all other the most truly of Vesp asians opinion, to think, that Exre qualibet bonus odor lucri; Be it raised from what it will, the smell of gain is pleasant.  
Yet they are in some sort Gods, for they fet bounds to the Sea: and when they list let it pass them. Even their dwelling is a miracle. They live lower than the fishes. In the very lap of the floods, and encircled in their watery Arms. They are the Israelites passing through the Red Sea. The water's wall in them, and if they set open their sluices shall drown up their enemies.  
They have struggled long with Spain's Pharaoh, and they have at length enforced him to let them go. They are a Gideon's Army upon the march again. They are the Indian Rat, knawing the Bowels of the Spanish Crocodile, to which they got when he gaped to swallow them. They are a serpentwreathed about the legs of that Elephant They are the little sword fish piicking the bellies of the Whale. They are the wane of that Empire, which increased in Isabel, and in Charles the 5th. was at full.  
They are a glass wherein Kings may see that though they be sovereigns over lives and goods, yet when they usurp upon God's part, and will be Kings over conscience too, they are sometimes punished with loss of that which lawfully is their own. That Religion too fiercely urged is to stretch a string till it not only jars, but cracks; and in the breaking, whips (perhaps) the streiners eye out.  
That an extreme taxation is to take away the honey, while the Bees keep the Hive, whereas he that would take that, should first either burn them, or drive them out. That Tyrants in their Government, are the greatest Traitors to their own States. That a desire of being too absolute is to walk upon pinnacles and the tops of pyramids, where not only the footing is full of hazard, but even the sharpness of that they tread on may run into their foot and woundthem. That too much to regrate on the patience of but tickle Subjects, is to press a thorn till it prick your finger. That nothing makes a more desperate rebel than a Prerogative enforced too far.  
That liberty in man is as the skin to the body not to be put off, but together with life. That they which will command more than they ought, shall not at last command so much as is fit.  
That Moderate Princes sit faster in their Regalities, than such as being but men, would yet have their power over their Subjects, as the Gods unlimited. That Oppression is an iron heat till it burns the hand. That to debar some States of ancient privileges; is for a Falcon to undertake to beat a flock of wild-geese out of the fens. That to go about to compel a sullen reason to submit to a wilful peremptoriness is so long to beat a chained mastiff into his kennel, till at last he turns and flies at your throat. That unjust policy is to shoot as they did at Ostend into the mouth of a charged Canon to have two Bullets returned for one. That he doth but endanger himself, that riding with too weak a Bit provokes a head strong horse with a spur. That 'tis safer to meet a valiant man weaponless, than almost a coward in armour. That even a weak cause with a strong Castle, will boil salt blood to a Rebellious Itch. That 'tis better keeping a Crazy body in an equal temper, than to anger humours by too sharp a physic.  
That Admonitions from a dying man are too serious to be neglected. That there is nothing certain that is not impossible. That a cobbler of Ulushing was one of the greatest enemies that the King of Spain ever had.  
To con●●lu●●e, the Country itself is a Moted Castle keeping a Garnish of the Richest Jewels of the World in't; The Queen of Bohemia and her Princely Children.  
The People in it are Jews of the New Testament, that have exchanged nothing but the Law for the Gospel: and this they rather profess than practice. Together a man of War riding at Anchor in the Downs of Germany.  
For foreign Princes to help them is wise self-policy. When they have made them able to defend themselves against Spain, they are at the Pale, if they enable them to offend others they go beyond it. For questionless were this thorn out of the Spaniards side he might be feared too soon to grasp his long intended Monarchy. And were the spaniard but possessed Lord of the Low-Countries, or had the States but the wealth and power of Spain, The rest of Europe might he like people at Sea in a Ship on fire; that could only choose whither they would drown or burn. Now, their war is the peace of their neighbours. So Rome when busied in her Civil broils, the Parthians lived at rest; but those concluded once, by Caesar next are they designed for conquest.  
If any man wonder at these contraries, let him look in his own body for as many several humours. In his own brain for as many different Fancies. In his own heart for as various passions; and from all these he may learn, That there is not in all the world such another Beast as Man.  
FINIS.