GREAT NEWS FROM Count Teckely, OR, An Account of some Passages 'twixt a True Protestant English Volunteer, and a Teckelytish MAHUMETAN in the Turkish Camp. Sent over by the Count's Secretary to a Brother in London.  
En! Psuedo-Protestantium flagellum.  ENGLISH TRUE P. 
Confounded me if I care a Fig for Christianity, 'tis a dull, sneaking Institution; a pitiful, mean piece of Morality that Heathens would be ashamed of. It gives no Encouragement to good substantial Debauchery; no rewards to Treason and Rebellion; allows no Polygamy, nor a train of rampant Concubines, to Cherish and entertain a Man in those days of Visitation. Hang it Brother, I hate Persecution, and Lectures of Damnation upon every little Miscarriage; give me a good Frolicsome Religion, and see what a Zealous Votary I'll be.  Teck 
I believe you Brother, the Christian Religion indeed is too severe for Flesh and Blood; it makes a Man Honest, which is a damned Scandal in the latter Age of the World; and by Beelzebub, you did a generous act to quit your pretences to it. 'tis such a melancholy, niggardly Religion, that none but incorrigible Sots could court and admire it.  Eng. True P. 
Very right; the Alcoran is undoubtedly superior to the Gospel in all Things. What Man of sense would hearken to Self-denial and Mortification, when the uncontrolled pleasures of the World are before him; when he might gratify his appetite to the full, and be a Libertine with Impunity? for my own part Brother, I have lived among the Godly in England, and hang me if all their clutter about the purity of their Religion signifies a Rush, and we that professed it were Persecuted into the bargain.  Teck. 
No, no, I tell you, you acted like a Man of Politics to leave it, as you found it, an empty Name. Besides who'd be tossed like a Dog in a Blanket for a Religious qualm upon the Stomach? you had no liberty of Conscience in your country; and who would be subject to the severity of such a stingy Government? Here's Paradise before thee Lad, and a good Old Cause; and who would not be a Friend to the Grand Signcour upon such Honourable Propositions?  Eng. True P. 
I like the Cause Man, I come a Volunteer to the Army; and I'll Stand and Fall by the new Grand Vizier, under whom I have listed myself.  Teck 
No doubt of success; show but thy Zeal and thy English Valour; and be an Illustrious Precedent for others to follow thee, and thou'lt see blessed Times this Campagne. There will certainly be Monuments erected in memory of all Glorious Volunteers; their Names will be written in Brass, that future Ages may see their generous Undertake.  Eng. True P. 
No Janisary in the Turks Dominions shall perform nobler Exploits, than myself, in the Station I am. I'd hue down the Christians, as I would tear down their Crosses 〈◊〉 their Chapels. Who would not be Circumciz●d for the Turk, that has been Anathematised by ●he Pope? who would not hate the name of Christianity, that has heard of the Whore of Babylon? the Mufti's of our Conventicles in England say, 〈◊〉 a Beast with ten Horns, and the great Turk, ha● but two, you know; therefore she's the greater Monster.  Teck. 
Oh! your Mufti's in a long Cloak are plaguy fellows about the Revelations; they make nothing of a Prophecy, or a knotty Mysterious Riddle. But hang it, let's not longer dispute about the merits of the Cause; to be sure we are in the right; we are of the strongest side, though we had not success last year proportionable to our Expectations: but we have a formidable Army now, shall make the Pope, and the Emperor Tremble.  Eng. True P. 
Prithee my Friend let's confer Notes together alittle. What might be the reason of so many unlucky Disappointments? how came the Grand-Vizier and your Count Teckely to be so often Defeated?  Teck. 
Nothing but bad Conduct and ill Success you may swear for't. We had number enough for the Battle, but the, Devil flattered us: we had not firm Resolutions enough; we were not bold and daring as Bully John of Poland.  Eng. True P. 
Yes, yes, ye were bold enough, but ye wanted the Prayers of the Godly. We were not rightly informed concerning your Proeeding. As soon as our Teachers had acquainted us with your Teckelitish Principles, your noble Resolutions against your Liege Lord the Emperor, we instantly espoused your Cause, and in all our discourses Vindicated your Proceed.  Teck. 
We have some friends I find in your little Island, as well as elsewhere. Some People call us Rebels, Revolters, and Stigmatize us Confoundly but it signifies nothing.  Eng. True P. 
Not a Rush; what other People call Rebellion and Apostasy, we call Right and Equity, and the Liberty of the Subject. Who would not rather that the Turk should Reign over us, than his Holiness? I tell thee, all the Republicans of England, are Tooth and Nail for the Turk.  Teck. 
What did they say concerning the Relief of Vienna.  Eng. True P. 
Oh! they hung down their Heads like a Bull Rush, when the news was confirmed. They suspended their Grief at first, trusting that it might be a false Relation. They'd hold ye ten to one that Vienna was taken, and were ready to make Bonfires on the same Presumption. The Grand Viziers and Count Teckely's Health were Drank with a great deal of Gratulation: nay one Brother Burnt his Hat amidst the Frol que.  Teck. 
Well but what said they when the general Report of the World had contradicted their Wishes?  Eng. True P. 
Why really they were damnably Discomforted; with lifted up Hands to Heaven they disowned a Providence, and denied their Christianity in favour of Turkism. But yet all their Hopes are not yet Defeated, they think to hear better New, this Campagne.  Teck. 
I'm glad to hear of such passionate Resentments for our Cause. Believe me there should be a College Erected in Constantinople, or Adrianople, for the Education of true Protestant Mahometans. their hearty Zeal for the Turk, and Count Teckely, is far Superior to their Mufties, or our Priests; and I fancy their Prayers would be more Successful.  Eng. True P. 
As for their Prayers and good Wishes you may be sure of them; they are joined as the Heart of one Man for the Mahometan Cause. You'll certainly hear of a Fast Day very speedily (before the two Armies meet) wherein will be Prayers and Supplications made for the Persecuted Brethren, the adherents to Count Teckely.  Teck. 
What's the reason the Conventiclers are such mighty favourers of the Count and his Interest?  Eng. True P. 
Why they bear the same Respect and Veneration to the Count, as they do to Lucifer, and the fallen Angels. They were bred up in Rebellion, and sucked Treason from their Mother's Duggs; and would you not have them appear for those of their own Tribe and Opinion?  Teck. 
Yes, yes, by all means; I think they are a very good natured sort of People; and the Treason has not succeeded with them of late, they bear a good Respect and Veneration, to those who are like to Succeed in so glorious an Attempt.  Eng. True P. 
Their damned Disappointment at home, would have made their Spirits droop, had not Count Teckely so luckily appeared to Alarm the World with his Performances. They appeared with very gloomy Faces, when some of their chief Conspirators were hurried to the place of Execution: but now they prick up their Ears, and outface the Noon Day.  Teck. 
'Tis Confidence, and an incorrigible piece of Impudence, that can support us amidst any Dreadful Disasters. If we should decline the Cause now, because we were Miserably Discomfited last Year, we should appear Timorous; and the Devil would never assist us at a dead Life.  Eng. True P. 
Never fear he'll always be kind to his Friends, that have listed themselves under his Banner. As for our True Protestant Brethren, the English Teckelyte's, they'll assist us with their Prayers; and if occasion should require, they'll open their Hearts, and their Purses toward our Assistance. Let the Pope send his Contributions to the Polish King, and their Germane Forces; they'll afford theirs to the Teckelyte's, and the Turk. You'd Bless yourself, to come into a Meetinghouse, and hear such hearty Prayers for our Success.  Teck. 
Never had we so distant, and yet so firm Friends, and Benefactors.  Eng. True P. 
Alas! they offer up their Prayers so fervently, with such an affectionate Zeal, that Heaven can never be deaf to'em; they ball out and Pray to God after such a tumultuous manner that he is almost necessitated to take notice of 'em. [Your Prayers are desired in behalf of Count Teckely.] Assist him O Lord, and support his Cause: Let not the Mighty of the World prevail upon him.  Teck. 
This indeed is a cunning way of desiring God to destroy Christianity.  Eng. True P. 
Why they look upon the 〈◊〉 to be a Civiler Person, a better natured Chris●●●● as a Brickclayer said) then the old Gentlemen at Rome. They'll be Saints on Earth, and enjoy a Paradise here with the Mahometans, rather than obey the Precepts of our Saviour, and his Apostles, upon a tedious expectation of Happiness and Glory hereafter.  Teck. 
Why in good earnest the present Satisfaction is the best. Who'd stint himself of Pleasure, and not be sure of a Reward? your English Conventiclers I find differ not much from our Mahometans, only in Name; they jump together in Practice; and agree in all their Political Proceed.  Eng. True P. 
But I'm afraid they would not like Circumcision? I confess thy love a Seraglio, as well as the Turk: and Love (upon the privilege of Saint-ship) to suck the sweets of the Earth. Some have been free to talk that a true Protestant Mufti, mounted up into the Wainscoat, used a Mahometan Trick, (in imitation of the Grand S●gneour) and threw his Handkerchief to his Female Auditory.  Teck. 
I Swear by Mahomet, that your true Protestants are rare fellows, to make a Conventicle a kind of Bawdy-house. What do their adversaries talk of them for taking part, (as they say) with Infidels?  Eng. True P. 
Why they represent them a parcel of Factious, Self Interested, Rebellious, Irreligious, Atheistical sort of People. And indeed they don't contradict the charge, by their Practice. Their Lives are so Lewd, their Conversation is so Treacherous; that they won't admit them fit for humane Society. Every step they make is towards, or in favour of a Rebellion. Their Principles are so visible. that their Malignants boldly affirm, that as long as there's a Conventicle in the Kingdom, we shall never be without a Republican Atheist, or a true Protestant Mahometan. Farewell Brother, and next Meeting expect a new Teckelitish Litany.   

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