A righteous Man is merciful to his Beast. Balaam come down and let thy Master ride, 'Twas not for thee the Ass' colt was tied; Urge not the Harmless Beast to be uncivil, For if thou rid'st thou'lt ride him to the Devil THE DOCTRINE OF THE ASS: OR, A Brief Account of their Principles and Practice, in whose behalf the Complaint was written: That it may serve for Advice to others. Whereunto is Added, The Asse's Complaint. Balaam's Reply. And The Author's Apology. Never before Published, By LEWIS GRIFFIN. The Ox knoweth his Owner, and the Ass his Master's Crib; but Israel doth not know, my People doth not consider, Isaiah 1.3. LONDON, Printed for Henry Marsh at the Prince's Arms in Chancery-lane. 1661. THE PREFACE. MAn that is in honour, and understandeth not, is like unto the Beasts that perish; when our first Parents lost God's Image they were degraded from Humanity as well as Divinity, and became as brutish as the Creatures below them; so that there is no Beast, or Monster in the Wilderness of the Great World, but what may be found in the Microcosmus or Little-world of Man. Hence it is that false Prophets are said to be inwardly Wolves, Drunkards inwardly Swine, Whoremongers inwardly Goats, Dissemblers Foxes, Flatterers Dogs, Valiant Men Lions, Innocent Men Lambs, as though we had Clothed our Souls with their Natures, as well as our Bodies with their Skins. Amongst the rest it hath been my Part to act the Ass; and no wonder, for the whole Kingdom hath done the same before me, and (like the Tribe of Issachar) been a long time Couchant betwixt two burdens, that is (in plain English) the profaneness of some who call themselves the King's true Subjects, and the Hypocrisy of others, who term themselves Gods precious Saints, as though Loyalty consisted in Ranting, Swearing, and Drunkenness, or Religion in Treason, Murder and Sacrilege. I am not ignorant how some have rebelled against the King in nomine Domini, witness the Devil's Martyrs at Charingcross, who pretended their unparallelled Treason was Acted in the fear of the Lord; others have sinned against God in nomine Regis, witness those Hectors of the times whom if you should check for Swearing would call you Fanatic; others have dishonoured the Church in nomine Episcopatus, and (as the wickedness of Phinehas, and Hophni, made the people abhor the Sacrifice) so hath their Ignorance, Scandal, Insufficiency, made the Sacred name of Bishop, the decent Ceremonies of the Church, and the Divine Liturgy, become odious. And shall a man see all this and be afraid to speak? no Friends; these are not times to daub, and flatter; the sinful burden of a corrupt Balaam will make a dumb Ass turn Orator; The Soul of a Man or Woman (I hope I may speak it without offence) is worth more than his Majesties three Kingdoms, and shall the charge of a Whole Congregation of these be committed to a Dunce, a Drunkard, a Beast, that hath neither Grace, nor Learning? God forbid; shall he that writes nothing but Truth, and Reason, have his Mouth stopped with being told he is a Seditious Person? Shall it be more safe for some men to Commit Sin, then for others to reprove them? I hope not. In the Verses called the Ass' Complaint (however they may be mistaken) I know nothing that can justly offend a sober Man; The King Himself hath Declared that it is, and shall he his Majesty's Will That no Insufficient, Negligent, nor Scandalous Ministers be permitted in the Church, etc. and may not a Subject Lawfully Beg that which the King is Graciously pleased to Grant; He that says the Ass hath spoken Treason, Let him tell him that Prays Thy Will be done, that he speaks Blasphemy. But (possibly) it is supposed by some that Ignorance, and Scandal, are quite out of fashion, and that there is no such thing in any of the Clerge, Truly I could wish it were so indeed; But when our Saviour amongst twelve Disciples had one Devil, it would be a wonder that the Bishops amongst so many thousand Curates should have none; Yet to name, or mention any particular Person (until I have further occasion (I think) will be as absurd, as for a Minister, that reproves any gross Sin, to tell his Parishioners, openly in the Pulpit, the name of any Person whom he knows to be Guilty. Let this suffice; although others are unsatisfied with the harshness of my Expressions, yet I myself am well satisfied with the honesty of my Intentions, which (I question not) will bear me out against all malicious Gain-sayers. Now whereas it is objected that my unlucky Pamphlet, hath proved a Doctrine of Sedition unto disaffected persons. What then (I beseech you?) have they not also made the same use of the Sacred Word of God? If a Revengeful wretch should stab his Neighbour, would that hand that made the Sword be found accessary to the Murder? I think not. It was not my purpose, when I published those Verses, to encourage Sedition, but to rebuke profaneness; and therefore, to give the Reader further satisfaction, I have written these following Precepts, which are the Rules by which those People walk, for whose sakes the Cry was written; You may find in them seasonable advice, which, though it seem to lie confusedly in my Meditations, will be brought into better order in your Practice. He that would know more of my mind, let him read my Apology which follows the Verses of H. W. (for the rest of His name I know not) I could wish that he had employed his Wit to a better purpose; I can only Judge this, that the Gentleman is a civil Person, and his Reply is an Ingenious piece of Misconstruction; as for the Rest who have written against me I regard them not at all, I shall not throw stones at every Dog which I hear bark; Only I beg of the Ingenious Reader, to weigh my words in the balance of Reason, and not (like the rude Barbarians) to account me a Notorious Sinner because he sees I am stung with Viperous Tongues. It is not unknown to several persons of credit in the Country where I lived, how much I have been persecuted by the Presbyterian party; and yet I am now threatened by some (who have more malice to conceive Mischief, than power to bring it forth) for being a supposed Enemy to (that which I always Adored) Episcopacy; And not only I, but the Stationer who Printed my Verses, Mr. Marsh, although he hath (to manifest his Loyalty) Printed more Sheets against that Monster in Politics, called the Rump, than all of his Profession in London, to the Hazard of his Life, and loss of his Liberty; Which things being rightly considered, we both may Deserve a Milder Censure. THE DOCTRINE OF THE ASS. 1. STay! hasty Reader— Lest the strangeness of our Title, which (at the first view) may seem to promise nothing but some antic piece of Drollery, or mess of Ridiculous Nonsense, should cause thy careless hand too soon to cast away this well meaning Paper; Remember (I beseech thee) that however contemptible the Ass is in this age, yet in the days of the Prophet Isaiah he was a great Rabbi in Israel: insomuch that Heaven and Earth were called to witness how far he excelled the very people of God in Knowledge, nay we may confidently believe that, even in our times, the Churches of Christ and Houses of Prayer would be more frequented, if those dark Souls whom error, or Atheism detains from the public Ordinances, had but such a Schoolmaster to teach them to know their Master's crib. Neither is the Ass less exemplary for his Obedience than Knowledge; Observe how faithfully he gave Balaam an account of his Service, and for his falsely supposed Crime pleaded Primum Tempus; Alas Reader, should Divine Justice bring thee and I to a Reckoning but for the sins of one hour, yet which of us could use the Ass' Apology? Certainly this is a Creature both serviceable and harmless, or else our Saviour had not chosen him for his own use, The Ass carried Christ to Jerusalem, a most honourable office of which even the greatest Prelate might be justly ambitious; Be not therefore offended at our Title; we present thee with nothing that savours either of profaneness or Faction, if thou art Evil it may do the good, If good it will do thee no hurt, thy eyes may safely read it without any breach of their Covenant. 2. It is no wonder that we live in a straggering age, for the fall of Adam broke the bones of his Children, and crippled his Posterity; the Sons of men are both blind in their Judgements, and lame in their Practices, and (notwithstanding the still voice which is behind us) we are continually turning unto the right hand or to the left, and either falling into a Religious rebellion or a Loyal profaneness. The pious Apostle foresaw our failings, and therefore left us two excellent Precepts, Fear God, and Honour the King, that all our lame Professors, who halt betwixt God and Baal, might make use of them as a pair of Crutches. 3. Do not think that thou canst be a Friend to the King whilst thou art an Enemy to God: Drunkenness, Swearing and Whoredom are no Badges of a Christian, nor of a true Cavalier, His Majesty will not protect Sin, neither canst thou honour him by dishonouring his Master; If thy crying iniquity should invite God's Judgements to the Court, it would cost thy Sovereign Dear to give them entertainment. 4. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom; There is no Wisdom without Fear; the voice of God made our first Parents afraid; a serious sense of God's allseeing eye begets in us a Holy timerousness and conscienscious care to do all things as in his presence; Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice in him with trembling; Lest thou shouldst presume, let thy service be joined with fear, and lest thou shouldest despair let thy trembling be mixed with joy. 5. Consider where thou art, and in what place thy Lines are fallen, thou fittest not in the Region of the Shadow of Death, but in the clear sunshine of the Gospel; and therefore shouldest thou be condemned, it would not be for want of Light, but for love of Darkness; Thou hast a Double birthright, first above other Creatures, as thou art a Man: Secondly above other Men, as thou art a Christian; Thou art also entrusted with five talents, whereas the jew hath but two, and the Heathen but one: be not therefore a profane Esau to sell thy Birthright, nor an unprofitable Servant to imbezel thy talents, nor a cursed Ahab to forfeit the reversion of Paradise for the Possession of thy Neighbour's Vineyard, nor one of those poor penny-wise Politicians, who striving to gain the World lose their own Souls, which is as if a Man should cut off his hands to purchase a pair of Gloves, or pull out his Eyes to buy a pair of Spectacles. 6. Beware therefore of the World; God his said to rain upon the wicked snares, fire and brimstone; It is the wickedness of men which makes Pleasures, Riches, Honours, Friends, and all other Temporal Blessings, prove unto them mere Traps and Gins. And it is to be feared, that he who will not endeavour to shun the shower of Snares in this World, will hardly avoid that of Brimstone in an other. In brief, The World is a Dissembling Jael; If thy Necessity compel thee to drink of her Bottle, yet let not thy folly betray thee to sleep in her tent; for know she hath both milk to feed thee, and a Mantle to cover thee, and a nail to strike into thy temples. 7. Yield not unto the Devil; but resist him and he will flee from thee; He was once baffled by Angels and now he is fight against Men; He appeared in Heaven in the shape of a Dragon, but upon Earth he hath taken the form of a Lion, and is continually going about seeking whom he may devour; those in whom he dwells are either openly Profane, or close Hypocrites; but observe this distinction, he is Rampant in the one, and Couchant in the other. When he tempted our Saviour he had three strings to his bow, which he makes use of to this day; if thou art a poor man he courts thee with the Temptation of Bread; If thou art unstable in thy Religion he sets thee upon the Pinnacle; If thou art proud and ambitious, he carries thee up into the high Mountain. Who ever thou ar●, if thou travelest in this world thou wilt daily meet him, he hath a strategem like that of Joab to Abner, he will call thee aside pretending business. But turn not unto him; If he upbraid thee with the first Adam, tell him of the second; If he boast of his Victory in the Garden, ask him how he Sped in the Wilderness. 8. But chiefly take heed of thy Judas flesh which betrays him who daily nourishes and feeds it; Look not upon a Woman to Lust after her, but if Jezabel be got into the window of thine eye, then let holy thoughts (like those Officious Eunuches) cast her out in penitential Tears: Listen not to the voice of a Land Siren, neither let Satan Buffet thee with thy own Rib; But abstain from carnal Lusts and thou shalt be happy, for he that keeps a Lent in his desires shall have an continual Easter in his Conscience. 9 To this end be advised by the Royal Preacher, Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth; It would argue a very bad memory in thee to forget him as soon as thou art come out of his hands: Repentance in old age is like Rain in Harvest, it may do good, but (believe it) 'tis very unseasonable; The time to weep is mentioned before the time to laugh, and the time to sow before the time to reap; Mistake not therefore thy Seasons, but let thy youth be a sowing in tears, that so thine age may be a reaping in joy. 10. Study principally the Practical part of Religion, and strive rather to obey thy Masters known will, than to search into his secret Counsels; it becomes not Men presumptuously to inquire into that which is hidden from the very Angels. We read how job was posed concerning Hail, Snow, and other Questions in the book of Nature; Now tell me (shallow Man) since thou canst not give a true account of what is done, but in the Clouds and Firmament which are only the outhouses of Heaven; how wilt thou presume to give Intelligence of the Affairs of Jehovahs' Closet, and of the Transactions of his Counsel-Table? Praedestination is a fitter Subject for wonder than dispute, It is a mysterious Euripus in the blood of Christ; And it would be better for thee (like Aristotle) to cast thy Soul in with the Tide, than in vain to study the cause of the flowing. 11. That thou mayst have a right Judgement, and Apprehension both of Men, and things, learn to distinguish betwixt Good and Evil, which is the great Dico tomy of the intellectual world, and the two terms in thy conversion; The Devil perhaps hath taught thee at other lesson, only to make thee forget this; that is to distinguish betwixt Papist, and Protestant, Praelat, and Presbyterian, Independent, Anabaptist, Quaker, and other Sects, whereof if every one should have a particular Station at the day of Judgement, we might imagine our Saviour to be Centemanus (as the Poet's feig● Briareus) having an hundred hands; But know these are distinctions of Passion rather than Reason, and a strange kind of Language which our Babel-Builders have learned since their late Confusion; for there are but two ways; Men are not Saved or Condemned for being called by this, or that name, but through Faith, or Unbelief; a Devout Papist is better than a Hypocritical Protestant, a Godly Presbyterian, than a Debauched Conformist; and there is Room in Heaven for Religious Anabaptists, and Well-meaning Quakers; Let not therefore thy Tempter so far impose upon thy judgement, as to make thee abhor the Harmless and Decent Ceremonies of the Church because they are said to be Popery; nor to descent from any Orthodox truths, because some may call them Arminian Tenants; nor to Persecute any of thy brethren because they differ from thee in Notions and Speculations; (In a word) as thou art not to believe every man's Opinion, so thou oughtest not to hate any man's Person, for the one would show thou hadst too much Faith, and the other would argue thou hadst too little Charity. 12. Think not that it is enough to make thee a Christian that thou wert once Baptised with water in thy Infancy; perhaps thy sowish Soul hath been a thousand times in the Mire of natural pollution since that sprinkling; We commonly say to Dirty Children that the Gardener will sow Leeks in their faces; we may more truly tell our Bruckled Professors that the Devil will sow Tares in their Souls; to prevent this, Baptise thy Soul in the Blood of Christ, and Rebaptize thy Face in thine own Tears. The Baptism of john, was a Baptism unto Repentance, and therefore he that hath been Baptised, but, not unto Repentance, shall have cause to Repent that ever he were Baptised. 13. As for thy Prayers, lei them be frequent, and fervent; Let not thy Tongue outrun thy Heart, but be such inwardly to God, as thou wouldst willingly appear outwardly to Men; Let there be no incongruity betwixt thy voice, and hands, neither let thy Soul study the Phrase of Ashdod, whilst thy Lips speak the language of Canaan; Make use of thy own gifts in private, of the Common-Prayer in public, of the Lords Prayer in both; But tell me (Zealous Brother) art thou offended at the noise of the Organs? And therefore hugely taken with their Doctrine who make it their Business to rail against them? Oh how gross is thy Ignorance, to run from that Music which is so highly commended by the Psalmist, and yet to follow the Lectures of those scolding Seducers, who (the Apostle tells thee) are but as sounding brass, and as a Tinkling Cymbal; It is unwholesome for thy Soul to sit in the wind of such Doctrine which may make thy Charity to get cold, and blow dust into the eyes of thy understanding. 14. Think it not strange concerning the Fiery Trial; The Lord hath promised to purge away our Dross, and to take away our Tin; the Dross is gross profaneness, the Tin is glittering Hypocrisy; Now till we find ourselves freed from these, we must expect the Refiners fire in the Furnace of Affliction. Sustine, & Abstine, was Epectetus his Philosophy, The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, was Jobs Divinity; study therefore to understand the one, and labour to practise the other; for if thou canst abstinere when the Lord gives, thou mayst sustinere when he takes away. Consider the Example of the Holy Jesus. Remember his Sufferings. With what an unwilling willingness did he take off his bitter draught? It therefore Providence should put the same Cup into thy Hand, wouldst thou refuse to pledge that health which thy Master first began to thy own Soul? He that well understands the Glory of the Cross, will never complain of its weight, there is in it plus honoris quam oneris; How canst thou expect greater preferment in this world than to be Standard-bearer to him who is the Captain of thy Salvation? 15. If thou are stung with fiery Serpents, (that is calumniating tongues) run presently to the Brazen Serpent, which thou mayst find lifted up in the Gospel; Blessed are ye when men Revile ye, and Persecute ye for My name's sake, etc. If thou art a Common Drunkard, Profane Swearer, or base Whoremonger, whilst thou continuest so thou shalt be called a good fellow, an honest Cavalier, and a well bred Gentleman; But when thou changest Saul into Paul, and reprovest those Sins which thou didst once commit, what canst thou then expect, but that the Devil who was before leading thee to Presumption, should now attempt to drive thee to despair, and cast into thy face both the iniquities of thy Childhood, and the follies of thy Youth; and (if these fail) thy Poverty, and natural Deformity shall be charged (as Crimes) against thee; But be not discouraged at these things, There will (one day) be honour for thee as well as comfort for the mourner, for amongst the people of God there will be both a wiping of Tears from the Eyes, and a washing of Dirt from the Faces. 16. Be not discouraged from walking in the ways of God because of the scandal and miscarriages of some professor; The best things being corrupted become the worst; Mercy may be abused, Grace turned into wantonness, and Christ himself be made a stumbling-block; Shall we therefore have no Mercy, no Grace, no Christ? God forbid; The wolvish nature of a few Hypocrites shall not make Sheeps-clothing become odious; neither will we lay down the Profession of Religion, because some who took it up proved Rebels and Traitors; The Scribes and Pharisees had not been condemned for their Long-Prayers, If they had not used them as so many Graces before their cursed Meals of Widows Houses. 17. When thou hearest the word preached, consider Who it is that Knocks at thy Door; Wilt thou be a Religious Hosham to shut the King of Glory out of his own Garrison? or wilt thou (like those discourteous Bethlemites deny thy Saviour entertainment in the Inn, thy Heart, and lodge him only in the stable, or outward room, thine Ear? Know (careless man) that if thou deniest to open to him in thy day which is the day of Grace, he will refuse to open to thee in his Day, which is the day of Judgement. 18. That thy Soul may enjoy her freedom, labour to subdue thy Passions, Let not the Sun go down upon thy Wrath; Anger is said to rest in the bosoms of fools; for indeed no wise man will be willing to harbour (in his House) a Thief or Murderer; Wrath of four and twenty hours standing takes a Degree in the School of Satan, and commences Revenge; The Devil can, in the space of a Day and a Night, hatch his Cockatrice-egges in thy warm Bosom. But observe the fruits of Sin, That which buds in Anger, blossoms in Malice, grows ripe for destruction, and is gathered in Damnation. It was an Antidote prescribed by Athenodorus to Augustus Caesar to repeat over the Letters of the Greek Alphabet; It would be a Christians better, and safer Remedy to think upon him who is the Alpha and Omega. 19 To avoid those many, and dangerous falls which may happen unto thee (in thy Journey) by that unruly Beast, thy Tongue, be sure to take (along with thee) David's bridle; Take heed of that cursed Cacoethes, which is now accounted the Badge of a Gentleman's Swearing; If there will be (one day) an account given of Idle words, there will be surely a stricter reckoning for Oaths, and Blasphemy, and if to say Lord we have prophesied, and preached in thy Name, will be no good excuse, certainly then to say Lord we have sworn and ranted in thy Name, can be no Lawful Apology. 20. Have a great care to observe the Lords day; If we refuse to keep a day of Rest, how can we expect a time of Peace; the breach of one Commandment draws on the Violation of an other; When the Profane party had liberty Given them to break the fourth Commandment, than did the Hyppocritical take Liberty to break the fifth. 21. Let thy Recreations be manful, not sinful, there is a great vanity in the baiting of Beasts, the Bears and Bulls lived quietly enough before Adam's Fall; It was our sin that set them together by the Ears, let us not therefore rejoice to see them fight, for that would be to glory in our own shame, And to take delight in that which is the fruits of our Apostasy. 22. Honour and obey thy natural Parents although they be poor; for if thy earthly Parents cannot give thee riches and honours, yet thy heavenly Father hath promised thee length of days. But especially forget not thy duty to thy Political father the King; who is a visible God, as God is an invisible King; If thou honour'st not the one, thou canst not fear the other. They who murdered the King would have done as much to Christ had he been then in the Flesh. 23. Let not thy envious eyes be dazzled at the Glory of thy Prince's mercy, neither Go about to rip open these wounds which his Royal clemency hath healed. There are some sick of Jonahs' disease, who because the Gourds of their foolish hopes, and expectation of preferment are withered, grow sullen and discontented that the poor penitent Ninivites are not destroyed: men of such Principles have cause to give thanks that their selves are not Kings, for divine Providence foreseeing the mischievousness of their Spirits did wisely to set them in such places where they might do the Least hurt. 24. And as thou art to honour the King, so likewise is it thy duty to Reverence the Bishops, and Fathers of the Church; for the one is Gods Viceroy, and the others his Ambassadors; be not like those who envy their greatness, and gape after their Lands; but love their Persons, and obey their Doctrine: and since it is Gods will to make them Bishops, I hope thou wilt give the King leave to make them Lords. Why not my Lord Bishop as well as my Lord judge? I think, of the two, the Divine is the more noble Function. 25. Labour to Keep alive in thy breast that little spark of celestial fire called Conscience; Conscience, like Virgil's Gnat, doth with her sting awake the sleepy Soul thereby to prevent the stinging of the Serpent; Conscience to an evil man is a never dying Worm, and (as the Poets feign of Prometheus) a Vulture continually Gnawing his Liver, but unto a Good man a perpetual feast; so that he may well say with Samson, out of the eater came forth meat. 26. The chief Perfection of a Christian is Love; which ought to be the duty of all men, Art thou for old things, the old Religion, old Ceremony, old Customs, consider there is nothing so old as love; or art thou for new things, new Lords, new Laws, new Lights, (or rather new nothings) alas poor Child! there is nothing so new as love; Whether therefore thou art an old Heretic called a jesuit, or new one called a Fanatic, let love oblige thee; Love is the Alpha and Omega, the New and the Old Commandment; If thou wilt not Believe me, inquire of St. john the Apostle, and he will show thee Epistle for the One, and Gospel for the other. 27. If thou wouldst enjoy true content, live quietly in that Vocation unto which Providence hath called thee; Meddle not with another man's trade and employment, but learn to move in thy own Sphere, and to mind thy particular Function; Our old Adversary, the Devil, who tempted Adam, with a promise to make him as a God, hath a fine bait for thee also: If thou art a Traitor he will promise to make thee as a King: If thou art a Factious Presbyter he will promise to make thee as a Bishop. It is his design to set the Church upon the wrack, and to dislocate the joints of the Mystical Body of Christ. 28. Call thyself to an account each night for the sins of the past Day, and reckon in the Morning for the iniquities of the night; God hath a book for thy sins, and a Bottle, for thy tears; If humane frailty run ' o'th' Score in his book, then let Repentance fill his Bottle: The way to avoid God's judgements is to judge thy self, and by condemning thy Self thou mayest shun Damnation. 29. Remember often the brevity and uncertainty of thy Life; consider what business thou hast here upon earth; thy Life is called a Race and a Warfare, So run this Race that thou mayst obtain, and so fight this Warfare that thou mayst become more than Conqueror through him who hath loved thee; take heed of being Uxorious as well as Covetous; Whores and Plunder will ruin any Army; Self and Pelf, Bag and Baggage undo the World. 30. If thou art not yet Married but intendest it, get thee a Wife modest, rather than Beautiful; Meddle not with those Ladies of the Game, who make Pageants of their Cheeks, and Shops of their Shoulders, and (contrary to all other Trades) keep open their Windows on the Sabbath day, impudently exposing their Nakedness to the view of a Whole Congregation, which Eve modestly covered when there was no man in the World present save only her Husband; Black Patches are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; And I believe that when God and Satan shall divide their flock (it will be as with Laban and jacob) the spotted, and ring-streaked will fall to the Devils share; Join not therefore thyself unto an Harlot unless thou hast a mind to Hire a Guide to Hell. 31. But let it be thy main endeavour to wed thy Soul unto christ which will be the happiest match; The Marriage of the First Adam was not so Honourable as that of the Second will be Glorious; for than will he give unto his Spouse Fullness of joy for a Possession, and make her a Jointure of everlasting Pleasure; whereas the chiefest jewel that the Flesh, the World, and the Devil can boast of is Death's head set in the Ring of Eternity. This (Christian Reader) is part of the Doctrine of the Ass; as Good Advice as my Sick Head can (at the present) afford thee; But when the powerful voice of Almighty God shall command a Calm in the troubled Sea of My distempered Mind, I shall present thee, If not with better matter, yet in a better Method. In the mean time accept of this from him who is Thy Servant in him who became a Servant to make us free, LEWIS GRIFFIN. THE ASS' COMPLAINT AGAINST BALAAM: OR, The Cry of the Country against Ignorant and Scandalous Ministers. To the Reverend Bishops, YE, mitred Members of the House of Peers, The King's Churchwardens, and Gods Overseers, Fathers in Christ, we your poor Children cry Oh give us Bread of Life, or else we die. For we are burdened with our old Sir john's, Who when we ask for Bread do give us stones; And only cant a Homily or two, Which Daws and Parrots may be taught to do; Drunkards Canonical, Unhallowed Bears, That name God oftener in their Oaths then Prayers. Into what darkness will our Church be hurled If such as these be called The light o'th' World? These that have nought to prove themselves devout Save only this, That Cromwell turned them out. Mistake us not, we do not mean those Loyal And Learned souls, who in the fiery trial Suffered for King and Conscience sake, let such Have double honour, we shall ne'er think much. But this our tender Conscience disapproves, That Ravens should return as well as Doves; And croak in Pulpits once again to bring A second Judgement on our Church and King. Though England doth not fear another loss, 'Cause God hath burned his Rods at Charing-cross; Yet Clergy sins may call him to the Door, Even him who whipped and scourged them out before. Oh therefore ye that read the sacred Laws, Eject their Persons, and disown their Cause: God, and the King have both condemned this crew, Then let them not be patronised by you. 'Tis not their Cassocks, nor their Surplices We quarrel at, there is no hurt in these; We own their Decency, yet every Fool Cannot be called a Monk that wears a Cowle; Were grace, and learning wanting (by your leaves) We would not pin our faith on your Law-sl●eves; 'Tis Aaron's Breastplate, and those sacred words Become a Churchman best, THAT THAT my Lords Which pious Baxter makes his livery, Would all our Curates were but such as he! Pardon my Lords, we do not make this stir To vindicate the Factious Presbyter; We hate his ways, and equally disown The Zealous Rebel, as the Idle Drone; And beg as oft to be delivered from The Kirk of Scotland, as the Sea of Rome; We pray for Bishops too, Oh may ye stand To heal the sad distractions of the Land; Then give us Priests loyal and painful too, To give to Caesar, and to us our due; Who maugre all the powers of Hell have stood, Men that are neither drunk with Wine nor Blood: God save King Charles our Christian Faiths Defender, And bring Religion to its wont Splendour. Written in the behalf of the Country by Lewis Griffin. A Supplement to the Ass' Complaint against Balaam: Or the Cry of the Country against Ignorant and Scandalous Ministers. A Vaunt ye Smooth-tongued Flatterers of the Age; Praesto ye Meal-mouthed Prophets; clear the Stage; Enter the Ass again, who (though he Kneel Unto the Higher Powers) lifts up his Heel Against all those who make God's house a Den Of * It hath been a Den of Lay-Theeves too long already. Clergy Thiefs; Have at them once again. But hark; I hear a Country Parish cry, " Were ever Christians in such slavery? " Must we be taught by an Illitr'ate Bear? " He Preach? he'll only teach our Boys to swear. Is then your Priest a Swearer? Ha— must he That taunts a Bishop taste a Pillory? And 'tis but Just, and right; yet who controls Him who Blasphemes the Bishop of our Souls? What? Is an Oath less penal than a Word? Or is the Servant greater than his Lord? No; He that Swears commits the fouler Sin, And more deserves to lose his Ears than— 'Tis true, Seditious Spirits, that Deny Obedience to the Sacred Hierarchy, Merit Severe Correction, let them haeed; They're the Disturbers both of Church and State; Yet Prelate's Zeal would be much better shown In striking Gods offenders than their Own. Nay, Gods are theirs; for he that wears lawn sleeves, Like Christ is murdered 'twixt a brace of Thiefs, Both show their enmity, but Divers ways, The Presbyter denies, but This betrays; Now tell me (gentle Reader) which were Greater, The sin of Judas, or the crime of Peter? Then let the Bishops cast them out, for thus They do but Justice to themselves and us; Like the wise Mariners, who, to appease The fury of the Raging Winds, and Seas, Threw Ionas overboard; such was his sin, There was no Cannon Law to keep him in. Nor is it Reason all should be maintained Ith' Church, who took Degrees, and were Ordained; For He that after proves a Drunken Beast, Degrades himself from Man much more from Priest. And such they were who caused our Bloody War, When Levy's tribe were kicked by Issachar; For though Men speak with a not so my Sons, Yet God reproved them with the voice of Guns. fanatics, those Philistines, won the field, Whilst our poor Israel were forced to yield; For Ely's boys had lost the Ark of God, Each Phinehas begot an Ichabod. Then Oh ye Bishops, heal these sad disasters, We do not call for Rectors but for Pastors. A Priest should lead his Parish as a Guide, Not leap upon their galled backs and ride, For 'tis our Mother Church's grand disgrace. That these black patches stick upon her face. Writen by Lewis Griffin. BALAAMS' REPLY TO THE ASS: OR THE CLERGIES Answer TO THE Country's Complaint. To the Reverend Bishops, You Learned Prelates of the House of Peers! That sit in Moses Chair, and bow your ears To Widows just Complaints, and Orphan's tears! Grave (Fathers of the Church) to you we come! Begging for Justice! though they say we are dumb; If we were so indeed 'twere well for some. To you we render our complaints alas, None fitter than an Angel to appease The fray, betwixt poor Bala'm and his Ass? And that your Lordships are concerned I'm sure; Unless you can both scorn and loss endure, The livings are your own, ours but the cure! 'twill be no wonder to your Learned Train, That Issacar of Levy should complain! The Ass' spleen, will in his mouth remain. Nor wilt I hope seem strange to any one, That there's amongst us such division, Proud Jack did evermore abuse poor John! In vain it is for Bala'm to reply Unto the Ass' charge, when all men cry, A switch and spurr's the best Philosophy! Yet in my heart I think no wise men do, Think us false Prophets, for they all do know, They are but Asses, that do count us so. But oh we cannot hold, should we not speak, And sigh aloud, our very hearts would break, 'Twould vex a Moses were he ne'er so meek! Say can it choose but grieve our souls to see? Simeon and Levy fight, both disagree? And sorry boys, old Fathers vilify? Did ever any since the cursed Cam, Turn up his Father's skirt, divulge his shame? Yes, yes, mine own dear sons have done the same! And as if God were deaf, and Conscience dumb, Rebellion but a peccadillo, some Like Nero have displayed their Mother's Womb. Lord didst thou send, the wild and Savage Bear, To slay th'untoward boys that scoffing were, At the good Prophet for his want of hair? How canst thou stay thy hand, when men and all, Do join together, and us scoffing call, Though not bald Priests by chance, yet Priests of Baal, And why Sir John? what mean those names and words? Or hath the Church her Knights, as well as Lords? Or, tell me are her Keys exchanged for Swords? True not long since he lay dead in a swoon, Of civil Wars, the cross, and waning Moon, Parted her Ensigns, and she was undone. But that some gallant hearts that scorned the loss Of life and goods, at best but splendid dross Stayed for to help their Mother bear her Cross. But why Sir John? would not St. George have been A better Epithet, but chiefly when Griffins, and Dragons are so ne'er a kin? Or was't a greater piece of eminence, To be a Mother, than a Maids defence, Is love inferior to obedience? Why the rude Vulgar folk do call us John, And add a Sir, I must profess I'm one As must go seek a revelation? True, we have been as we do all confess, A long time in the howling wilderness, Save that we might not preach up righteousness! Besides our Commons too were very small, Like to the Baptist's, yet they differ all! John fed on Honey, but we fed on Gall. Yet we embrace the title, 'tis no shame For to be Christened with the Baptists name, May we be like him all a burning flame! But ah this is not all that you do see, A thousand harder names as yet there be In the poor Parson's Genealogy. Dogs, Bears and Wolves, Tigers and such as they That range the silent Woods, live on the prey, Are Hieroglyphics fit for us they say. And yet God knows our hearts, and souls we could Nor fight, nor fawn, be insolent, nor proud, Or flush ourselves with quaffing humane blood! But so the Tyrant Monarches of the East, Used (in their Triumphs, or their solemn Feasts) To bait poor Christians in the skins of beasts. What 'tis we have done, truly we do not know, To merit ill of them, did we we'd go, With bended knee to supplicate our Foe! If we have took away from any one, More than our Tenth's, on this condition, We are ready to make restitution! If Altars, Tapers, be Idolatry, Gowns, Cassack, Tippets, rags of Popery, Show us good reason for't we'll lay 'em by? But if the reading Prayers be all our blame, Cause Daws and Parrots may be taught the same, The Ass may then return from whence he came? For is there any man doth stand in need, Of so much wit, as that he won't conceed, To this, a Pie may sooner speak than read? But oh we cannot pray our hearts are scant, Strange that we cannot pray, and yet can cant, The poor man never did expressions want! True, we can't hang the head, and look demure, Talk fast, and loud like Monkeys in a Lure, And then not question but to sin secure! We do not love a long and tedious story, Full of Parenthesis, pride and vain glory, The Pater Noster's the best Directory? We do profess that we are none of those, That Circumflex their Sermons with their Nose, And mingle Hopkins Rhymes, with Wisdoms Prose! Yet would you but vouchsafe to view the Prayers, Of your good Mother since these latter years, Mixed with the incense of a Prelate's Tears? Would you but hearken to her groans, and cries, Her sweet Patheticks and Apostrophies, You'd say there was no richer Sacrifice! The penitent Disciple I durst swear, Ne'er wept so much, when the pert Presbyter, Fastened his Fetters, and did him secure! Even so the Balm tree, lovingly bestows, Its Tears on them, that do return it blows; Tears healing as the blood that from it flows! But stay here comes a scroll of Items, fright Just like a Tailor's Bill, a threadbare Knight, They say we are sottish, loose, profane, and light! I do not wish these Articles may be, As false a charge, as manifest a lie, As those were of a former Century! For then the bribed Person that should go, To prove the imputation to be so, Would be the greater scandal of the two. But yet I pray, that we may be no less Religious in plenty then distress! In Canaan, then in the Wilderness! But we are Drunkards, men will lie and swear, Though we with modesty and tears declare, True is our Doctrine, Temperance our prayer! Then us for Thiefs, and Robbers they do brand, Though we profess we would upon no hand, Purchase an Acre of the Church's Land! But we are wanton, lustful, fond and fickle, And in our Neighbour's Corn do thrust our Sickle, When we God-wot all hate a Conventickle. Lastly we are dark Lights, blind Guides by name, Though if we were, say which deserves most blame, A glimmering Taper, or a wand'ring flame? And yet the faults not ours, we had no doubt, Remained till now, bright shining and devout, Had not a Sequestration blew us out! That Northern Gust, that Fatal Hurrican, That rushed through all the quarters of the Land, Rooted up Oaks, but let the Mushrooms stand! Good Lord how prejudice and passion blears Our eyes; how self-ends lug men by the ears, Which way the wind doth blow, the Sailor steers! If we say nothing than they spurn and kick? Call us dumb dogs, and throw us bones to pick, The Ass will vapour when the Lion's sick! When we refuse to see, at least to mind, Their gross abuses, than the Priest is blind, Weeping perhaps to see them so unkind! But if we justify our holiness, And prove by reason, what we do profess, The wisdom of the world is foolishness! At last when envy cannot find a hole, To shroud herself, down they sit and Condole, 'tis a poor silly superstitivos soul! These are the Scoffs and Jeers, the cruel hits, That wicked heads invent in drunken fits, To vex good men, and exercise their wits. O wicked World, O Monstrous Commonweal, When men with great applause might kill and steal, Censure was Saintship, Sacrilege was Zeal! When Churches lay like stables, Altars bare, Or turned to Mangers, Priests and Organs were Both silenced, none might preach unless they'd swore! No Music in the Church but Widow's cries, No Sacraments but Oaths, no Rites but lies, No Christian Burial, and no sacrifice! But thanks be to our gracious God, for why? He heard our prayers, and hearkened to our Cry, And thereupon turned our captivity! We are all in peace, long may we so remain, May the Crown flourish on our Sovereign, And Aaron's Rod blosom and bloom again! May all the Kings and Churches Enemies All their plots, projects, and conspiracies, Be blown away like silly Gnats and Flies! And now my Lords since we to you have cried, And nothing that concerns us from you hide, Pity our sorrows, pardon us beside! O Father Abraham how canst thou see, The bondman scoff at Isaac and not be, In love to him, offended presently? Alas we don't sigh and complain, because Our honours lie at stake, but the good laws, Your reputation, and the Church's cause. 'tis time, 'tis time my Lords, or to keep in For your own safeties, or go armed when The Lion's couchant, in the Ass' skin! I'll say but this, take't on a Levits' word, When once the Ass doth of his own accord Thus kick Sir John, he'll quickly fling my Lord. Written by H. W. THE APOLOGY Of the AUTHOR of the Ass' Complaint against Balaam. Rage's on, Ye proud Philistines of the Land, I scorn your Weakness, and (like Samson) stand Armed with an Ass' Jawbone in my hand. Sure he that tells me of John Baptist, jests, And of the Tyrants, and their Solemn Feasts; 'Tis I that combat with Ephesian Beasts. Hark! Hark! how Isgrim howls, and Bruin roars, Had Dives kept such Bandogs at his Doors, They'd Worried Lazarus, not licked his Sores. They tell us of a Pillory; What then, We hope to see a Resurrection, when The Harmless beast shall have his Ears again. Nay they may take his Life, a worthy prize! Yet he that spills his Blood cannot be wise, For Asses ne'er were used in Sacrifice. But must he Die? pray give him leave to pause, Is the poor Ass condemned by Lyaford Laws? Sure if he Die you'll let him know the Cause. What think you then? If he that doth declaim 'Gainst Drunkenness, and Swearing merits shame; Then he that writ the Cry, was much to blame. Or if those men of Israel who (with tears) Complained of Eli's Sons, were Mutineers; Then Balaam's Ass deserves to lose his Ears. But if amongst the pious Learned train, Dunces are crept, who their profession stain, Be patient Sirs, our Cry was not in vain. What shall the Ass forsake his Master's crib, And follow those that use to swear and bib? No, He fears neither Pillory nor Gib. Let Fools and Traitors dread such things, not I, Who in the Dangerous times of Tyranny, Own'd that, which now they say I do deny. I that opposed Presbytery when Some Complied, and Flattered, Others were struck dumb; 'Tis known how oft I prayed Thy Kingdom come. His Sacred Majesty I have adored, And always reverenced the Mitred Lord; And will defend them both with Pen and Sword. I quarrel not with him that bows the Knee Toward the East, Although the Altars be Mere Stumbling stones to Some, th' are none to Me. For well I know the King and Parliament, Our Lawful Lords may by a joint consent Make Necessary of Indifferent. As for the Harmless Tapers let them burn; Yet when the Bridegroom wakes her from her urn, These will not serve the Sleepy Virgins turn. To Gowns, and Surplices I am a Friend; Let Others Cavil, they that will contend About these things have sure some farther end. But yet how prudently the King prevents The Church's Rape; He sees their base intents That begin to Rifle her of her Ornaments. Nor must false Achan long enjoy his wedge, Justice prepares a Halter and a Sledge; These are the bitter fruits of Sacrilege. These deep-dyed Rebels, Hyppocrites in grain That Swallowed Bishops Lands, oh what a pain Was it for them to belch them up again. Then welcome Loyal Hearts, that scorned to take Those dangerous Oaths that did Three Kingdoms shake, You that were sequestered for Conscience sake. Shine forth again Ye Pious and Devout Sons of the Church, your Sufferings without doubt Did only snuff your Light, not put it out. Yet there are Some whose Age and former smarts Have much impaired their Learning and their Parts, Enough to crack their Brains, and break their Hearts. And plead we against these? no; let my tongue Be Cursed for ever, if I do them wrong; They shall not bear the burden of my Song. He that hath suffered poverty, disgrace, Sickness, and banishment from place to place; Heaven blast that Hand that throws dirt in his face. Yet Priests there are, who neither have been true To God nor Caesar, Oh 'tis here the Shoe Doth pinch; the Devil hath His Martyrs too. And now me thinks the Reader pittyes us, And cries, What kind of Beast is this Whom thus The Ass calls Ignorant and Scandalous? Went he to th' University? What then? So the French King with twenty thousand men Went up the Hill and so came down again. What did he there? he ate, and drank, and slept, He played at football; and at last he crept Into a Hood, Then int' Pulpit stepped. How happed it then that he was not refused By th' Bishops? (Friends pray let them be excused) The Prelates oftentimes have been abused. As in this Case; A Patron of our age Presents one Mopsus to a Viccarage, Far fitter for a Bearward, or a Stage. Now for a Handsome trick they cast about This Mopsus was A foul unlearned Lout, And knew the Bishop soon would find him out. Then learned Corydon in Mopsus name Went and obtained the place for which he came; And now Sir Mopsus doth possess the same. Thus a Good Prelate may be soon betrayed, When the loose * Yet the Patron in this Case had no such corrupt intent. Patron Pins a Chambermaid Upon Sir John, her Dowry must be paid. Should these things hold What's Learning or the Spirit? 'Tis Money rule the World; and some inherit Their Parsonages by savour, not by merit. This this Begat the Country's scorn and hate, And made their Squeamish Stomaches nauseate That Power which now hath broke the Serpent's pate. But lo a Reformation! oh sing praise To Heaven, for now the Bishop's clearer rays Will chase these fogs, and give us better-dayes. Ye rigid Presbyters lay down your Pride, And Join; you Know once when a Case was tried, She had no interest that said Divide. Yea Dippers, now baptise yourselves in tears, And be not Drawn to Error by the ears; In spite of Hell, Let's all be Cavaliers. Shall our Religion be (like joseph's coat) Motly, and bloody? Then the World will note 'Tis a true sign we cut our Master's throat. Ye Conscientious Romists why do we Wrangle with you? Is it not time t' agree? Take you our Faith, Lend us your Charity. Oh! If all these would lay aside their passion, How would the Gospel flourish in the Nation, Free from old Legends, and new Revelation! Then England's Church would outshine other Spires, Like the Bright Moon amongst the Lesser fires; And this is all that the poor Ass desires. Now as for that ingenious pen that writ Balaam's reply: I shall not carp at it; His Verses savour both of grace and wit. But yet I wonder much how he mistook The Asses Meaning; if again he look Sure he May read without a Const'ring-book. Banish but Passion, we shall soon agree, I bow unto the Prelates, and will be As true and faithful to the Church as he. I ever will obey their Just Commands, And pray to God to Keep them from their hands. That Hate their Persons and yet love their Lands. But I should Grieve to see these Men of G●d, That sit in Moses chair, and sway his Rod Prove Grandsires to a Fatal Ichabod. 'Twould vex my Soul to see Lewd Phinehas race, Or any Pulpit suffer that disgrace, To lose a Man and have a Beast in's place. Sound, powerful preaching is the thing we want, Yet I abhor their Rhetoric that do rant In vindication of the Covenant. And is'c for this the Ass, is made a Mock By Pamphleteers? And grown a Laughingstock, Base ill-bred hounds, that would destroy the Flock. Then oh ye Gospel-Shepheards do not keep Such Curs, Although to you they fawn and creep, That Dog that Bites an Ass, will Worry Sheep. Lewis Griffin. FINIS.