THE GROANS AND PANGS OF TYBURN, To be delivered of her long expected burden: That bloody, monstrous, cruel, and mischievous Parliament, now at Westminster, dissembling with God, the King, the Country and City.  
Sad is the time to all those who be  
Actors and Friends to our iniquity;  
Dismal and woeful are the time to those  
Who join with Traitors, Rebels, and oppose  
Their lawful King, the Prince, and Laws,  
Death and shame take them their cause:  
And now you standers by shall see  
Them take their turns upon my tree;  
In order have I set my house, and these  
Which do their God, their King, the truth oppose,  
Some in one place as their degree hath been  
Abettors and maintainers of this sin  
Rebellion, Treason, Theft, and Blasphemy,  
Gentle Spectators, rejoice to see them die.  
Printed at the Mayor's Banqueting house near Tyburn, in the year of the Saints fear, 1648.   

The groans and pangs of Tyburn, etc.  
I Tyburn the ancient and metropolitan of all England, having a long time weeped and mourned for my due, the Parliament, but now finding (by reason of the Stars under which they sit) that their Glass is run, and their thread is cut; I have put my house in order, and myself in mourning, to entertain my long expected Guests, upon whom I do intent to bestow much cost at their funeral; and for their security that I take care of them, let them but inquire whether I have not provided great long pieces of horsedownes biscuit, which is made of the best hemp those Confectioners could provide, many of them having kept it by them this 7 years for my use, knowing well what a banquet I should have need of when it pleased their Father Pluto to send them to me.  
And now I shall give you a note of the names of all my attendants, and Officers which are to wait upon me that day, and a brief description of their abilities, and Offices in my Palace of Tyburn, or my City Court at Tower-hill.  
First I do appoint my new-come gallant Mr. upstart Skippon with his large Legs porter at my hall door at Tyburn, because I know he can keep a door very well for the cause, so long as they have money to make a key with, though it be against his Lawful King, Country, and Conscience, and truly he is very ingenious; that I do intent to send him (when my work and service is ended) to Serberus to be his Deputy Jailor, to keep an account, and receive money of all his old acquaintance and fellow Rebels here, which I am sure will not be long after him, many of which will be so forward to overtake him that they will take water and drown themselves rather then take my pass here at Tyburn under my son Gregoryes hands: the man is of known fidelity to me ever since he caused works to be made about me to destroy those which never must nor will be mine, though he hath plundered them of all they had; yet were they so honest that for one Cavalier that came to me this seven years there hath 20 Roundheads, and poor men I was glad to satisfy their stomaches, and stop their hungers when he would not give them a penny of their pay which he received, but sent their moneys to maintain his wife, and her Leaguer Lads in the Low-countrieses: and truly my son Gregory hath cause to thank my cousin Glyn for sending him so many Parliament Saints to feast with me at several times, upon whom they bestowed many good suits of , with shirts which had been Surplese, and borrowed of Sir John the parish Priest, to keep the skin of the Saints from , besides Lady's smocks, aprons, and handkerchiefs, which they borrowed without the consent of the owner, and translated them into bands, cuffs, and boote-hose-tops, and if you will not believe me go and search his wardrobe.  
Next I do appoint that well willer to murder, and son of Sedition and treason John Warner Usher of my hall to walk before my guests at the funeral, in his Gown of Crimson colour, because I know he loves a garment died in blood better than a white Surples, and since his employment will be great, I do appoint him three Deputyes, men of his own temper and Religion, whose names I shall give you, Foulkes, Wollaston, and Andrew's, pretty men, serviceable, and well seen in such employment, and because they may do it with more safety, I do appoint all the braved headed Citizens (but especially those which have the spirit, and can unfold the Scripture for three hours together) to attend upon me that day with their mouths full of the spirit, their hearts full of revelation, and their hands full of blood, to flat all opposers in the face with either spirit, revelation or blood, that so Justice may be done on their favours, as that she divine Mrs. Lamb, very methodically called them, when she was in her two handed revelation at Duke's place, upon the first day of the week, some three weeks since at a meal man's house.  
Next I do appoint that justler of the Peace, who lives at the Bear by the Bridge foot, the Yeoman of my Wine-cellar, whose drawing and spiritual administration of it, will infuse such holiness into the cup, that if a Saul be drunk with it, he may lie with his neighbour's wife, or his own maids, or his own daughter, as Lot did with his, and commit no sin: and if a child should chance to be begot by this means, it is no great matter, it is but a babe of grace, and came of the seed of the faithful, and God sees no sin in Israel, nor no transgression in Jacob, as was very spiritually held out by that two handed preacher of the gospel Mr. Nonsense Kiffin, upon the Lord's day in Coleman street.  
Next I do appoint my old seasoned son of sedition Col. Pride, to be Yeoman of my beer seller; a man well seen in beer and ale if the Welsh do not cheat me of his service, but I fear me if they do they will take him for some Hog fed very high with grains, he smells so strongly on them; if he comes home he will not be a grain too light for my son Gregory.  
Next I do appoint that Butcher Rainsborow Yeoman of my pantry, because he was always bred in a Scullery at Hull, or at Sea, and knows very well how to cubberd up victuals very well, and now should the House but turn Cook as they have been Butchers for this seven years, he would be sure to cheat the broken bread and meat-men, of who the Houses in their little charity could afford the poor prisoners; therefore I do not much care if I offer a challenge betwixt Mariot of Grays-Inne and him, being both men of tall stomaches.  
Next I do appoint that vessel of dripping hog's head of tallow, that bundle of grease, Whaley, to be the Yeoman of my scullery, for his wife and he very well know how to sell and cry Kitchingstuffe, and truly it fears me you will see him and his wife at their old trade again; the wife with a tub, and he with a club or goad driving swine to the markets; but my son Gregory swears he'll whip him about the pig market ere long.  
Next I do appoint that hellhound of Pluto, that child of the Devil, that bundle of Rebellion, that parcel of perfidiousness, that Cannibal for cruelty, Hammon, Steward of my house, who doth not care to sell his God, poison his King, devour Kingdoms, break trusts, disregard promises, and spit in the face of a good conscience.  
Next I do appoint John Browne and Henry Elsinge Clerks of my Kitchen, which all the Kingdom knows are very well practised in the rules of addition, having studied it this seven years, being very confident they will keep accounts as well to please me, as they have for the now diseased Parliament; I am so well conceited on them, that had the Parliament but voted they themselves had never been borne of a woman, they would have believed them, and set their hands to it.  
Next I do appoint that lump of lewdness, that scum of covetousness, that list of a Tailor, whose yard was too short for his neighbour's wife, Mrs. what shall I call her, he knows who I mean, the Haberdasher's wife on Snow hill; you Mr. Cox, you I say shall be Yeoman of my Robes, being you have been my son Gregory's chapman for many  shifted at my Palace at Tyburn, before you were Treasurer of Haberdasher's hall.  
Next I do appoint my long Attendant Gregory my Cook, and do leave him to his discretion to dress, launch, carve, or set out head, bowels, heart, liver, arms, shoulders, back, breast, loins, thighs, legs and feet, to be safe powdered, pickled, stewed, roasted, sodden, broiled, or hanged up of all my Parliament men, but especially of Manchester, Say, Wharton, Lenthall, Mildmay, Corbet, Scot, Martin, Perpoint, Weaver, Eveling. Selden; but for Haslerigge I need make no great provision for or with him, since Jockey will provide him a Cook in Edenburrough very shortly, will dress him up with Woodcock sauce; but I pray thee have a care and see these well dressed that the Kingdom may say they have not parted with their wealth and blood, but have seen something for it.  
Next I do appoint that murder King, that impudent arch Traitor, that stall bird Cobbler, that quintessence of hellishnes that child of perdition, that son of Belial, that sinner against the holy Ghost, that Antitrinitarian, Rolfe, who is mine without mercy, and the Devils decreed of old, before the creation, and is to go to hell without bail or mainprize, to be my Messenger to go betwixt hell and my hall to see how the Parliaments adherents do the Devil's work, and what store of them do intent repentance, and to carry letters for the Devils in hell to all his dear sons upon earth, and when all the Rebel Faction are either gone to the Devil, or repent and are gone to God Almighty; I do assign him the labour of Sisyphus, the torment of Tantalus, and no other comfort but what a wounded conscience can administer unto such a wretch, nor no other company but the infernal spirits; who will watch that black soul, which is more black than any soul which he put upon shoe in his life?  
Next I do appoint Patience, Kifen, Lamb, Goodwin, and Dell, my Chaplains at ordinary to preach to all the congregation that belong to me, being very sure that the whole Army is mine, and will come to me in spite of Loyalty and true obedience: Therefore to confirm them the Devils and mine, I charge all who belong to the Pope, the Devil, Antichrist, and me, to hear and practise their doctrine, as they will answer it to me and my son Gregory; and for all my Chaplains extraordinary, as Peter, Love, Burges, Sedgwicke, and Case; I hope they will not be backward in doing me duty, since they have such good quarter already provided from them with my Cousin Pluto; and for Peter he is made Pims Chaplain, whensoever he will but call to me for a pass, I have promised my son Gregory shall set both his hands that he may go without let or hindrance, and for Patience my Lord Brookes wants him, and is very angry that his coach man doth not come after him to hell, since he hath a full congregation of Parliament Saints there ready, and for Hambden and Stroud they cannot choose but stand in need of them, I fear they cannot get an Independent Priest in all their Country of hell; but I believe great Henderson of Scotland serves them sometime with spunfuls of Presbytery, Burton and Burrowse being really sworn Pluto's Chaplains cannot be spared from his Table.   

Tyburnes speech to the standers by at the Funeral of the Parliament, as followeth.  
GEntlemen,  
I have a word or two to say to you standers by, by the way of admonition, which is, that you take heed of false Prophets, who will lead you into blind zeal, which when you are so, it is like mettle in a blind horse, you rush upon all manner of sin as a horse doth into the battle, not regarding what sin you commit, and the Devil goeth about like a roaring Lion, seeking whom he may devour, and cares not which way he hath you, so he have you by hypocritical profession of Religion, as well as by drunkenness, swearing, whoring, and Murdering; and I must say to you, the Devil doth never more deceive, then when he appears like an Angel of light: Take heed lest Religion eat up your Loyalty as it hath done all those which you are come to see interred, it is many of the Priests have brought them to this. God the Son commands to put up the sword when it was drawn in passion, and they command to draw the word when there is neither Religion, Law, nor reason to defend them in this their hellish designs; they are the Devil's children whose work they do, and now I admonish you to take warning by these. Rebel not against your God, your King, your Country, upon any pretence whatsoever, lest ye likewise perish, which the God of mercy keep you from, so prays Tyburn.  
All you Loyal Subjects which do see  
The ruins of Rebellion, treason, perjury,  
Laugh, rejoice, praise God and sing,  
When these are hanged, you'll have your King  
To govern you with Peace, plenty, joy,  
When no Domestic, neither foreign Enemy  
Shall hurt yourselves, your Wife or barns,  
God will you keep from all such harms.   
FINIS.