SPANISH LETTERS: Historical, Satyrical, and Moral; Of the FAMOUS Don Antonio de Guevara: BISHOP of Mondonedo, Chief Minister of State, and Historiographer Royal to the Emperor Charles V.  
Written by way of Essay on different Subjects, and every where intermixed with both Raillery and Gallantry.  
Recommended by Sir Roger L'Estrange, and made English from the best Original by Mr. Savage.  
Menos fuera.  
LONDON, Printed for A. Roper at the Black-Boy over-against St. Dunstan's Church in Fleetstreet, and F. Saunders in the New-Exchange in the Stra●d.   

TO The Right Honourable ARNOLD, Earl of Albemarle, Viscount Bury, Baron of Ashford in England, and Baron Keppel in Holland, Master of His Majesty's Robes, etc.  
My LORD,  
PRoductions of the Brain, like the Noble Fruit of the Vine, have always had the Fortune to be Coveted and Desired; Yet how Rich and Generous soever the Crop, the Stock it Sprang from, could never have arrived at sufficient Strength to sustain its own Weight, and Erect itself, had not Art found out Means to supply its Wants of Nature by reclining it on, and propping it up with Trunks of abler Plants: So likewise the Generosity of the Great, in all Ages, has afforded comfortable Support to the Humble Self-dejected Writer, without which he must have continued a poor Grovelling Reptile, exposed to the Insults and Trample of Ignorance and Barbarity.  
My LORD,  
'Tis the Sense of this Necessity has so often given Persons of highest Rank and Merit, the Trouble of this Nature; and whi●h, I must needs own, has wholly directed me in this Address. Your Lordship could not reasonably expect to lie hid, after having been so Publicly and Honourably Pointed out, and Distinguished even by the Wisest, as well as Bravest Prince that ever filled our Throne: Nor, that the Muses should any longer forbear giving public Testimony of their Satisfaction in the Advancement of Virtue and Merit. Permit me therefore, My Lord, to Congratulate both you and the Nation in the Happy Choice of our most Auspicious Sovereign, who has singled you out for a Title, which receives as much Lustre from your Person, as your Lordship derives from it.  
The World may Envy, but can never Blame me, for this early Endeavour to Plant myself in so Rich a Soil as your Lordship's Favour; where I may enjoy the Warmth of the Reflected Beams of that Sun, whose happy Influence not only ours, but even the greater Part of the European World, Rejoice and Flourish under.  
It was the Happiness of our Learned Author, whose Version is humbly offered to your Lordship, to be Favourite and Chief Minister to the greatest Hero, as well as Prince of his Time; and in that Right, My Lord, he seems very naturally to have a Claim to your Lordship's Protection, in whose Power it is to Introduce him to a Greater Hero than any that Age could boast of; A Prince whose happy Influence makes Virtue spring so fast at home; and whose Prudence takes care to transplant Merit so from abroad, that, like the most curious Plants, both Honour and Illustrate our Island: Among these your Lordship must needs be acknowledged the First and Most Deserving, even by those who envy your Fortune, whilst the Impartial, of which I am proud to profess myself one, with joy Applaud, and wish a long Continuance of it. I am,  
My LORD, Your Lordship's most Humbly Obedient, And Faithfully Devoted Servant, JOHN SAVAGE.   

CORRIGENDA.  
IN the greatest part of the Impression, Page 1. Messeur for Messer; p. 13. l. 22. Reber for Remember; p. 14. near the bottom, Antarxerxes for Artaxerxes; p. 47. l. ult. alwasy for always; p. 131. l. 30. of (left out;) p. 139. l. 15. consulted (left out) etc. which the Intelligent Reader may easily reconcile, there being ('tis hoped)▪ but few remaining.   

Spanish Letters.  

LETTER I. To Messer Perepollastre, an Italian, the Author's Friend; in which he proves how ridiculous a thing it is for a Man to be Powdered and Perfumed.  
Suspicious SIR, but my very good Friend,  
IN the time of Quintus Fabius, than Master of the Knights, Two Noble Romans fought upon a set Challenge; and the one having cut off the others Arm, the Conqueror thus spoke to the Vanquished; Unsay what you have hitherto Pretended, and Retract what you have imposed upon me, or my cruel Sword shall silence your Unlucky Tongue▪ To which the Wounded Person immediately Replied; You speak rather like my Mortal Enemy, than a Roman Knight, since you think I have not a greater Regard to my Honour than my Life; for though my Arm fail me to fight, yet my Heart still encourages me to die in Vindication of a good Name. I have brought this ancient Example, Sir, as a Parallel to put you in mind of what I am almost ashamed to Express; That you Swore and Forswore yourself about a Perfumed Wash-ball, which you thought you had left in my Chamber, and which you would needs have me either to have stolen, or to have concealed or protected the Thief. And here you did not content yourself with telling me the same thing over and over, but were also pleased to write me a Scandalous Letter, indicted, I suppose, by your Judgement, as it was signed by your own Hand: The Contents whereof were as full of unjust Reproaches, as they were void of Breeding and good Manners. Several Friends of yours, as also Neighbours of mine, have frequently informed me, you went Murmuring and Complaining to every Body about the Black Wash-ball; affirming, that in my Chamber you left it, and in my Trust you lost it; so that by your Letter you Challenge me, and by your Tongue Reproach me; But, with the aforesaid Roman, I must tell you, you neither speak like a Friend, nor treat me like a Christian; since you have a greater regard to a trifling Wash-ball, than my Honour. Sir, upon this Occasion, I have neither determined to take notice of your Reproaches, nor to Answer your Letter with Heat, for I value myself much more upon the Habit I wear, than the Unspotted Race from whence I descend; because, I am well assured, at the general day of Account, it will not be so much Enquired into, whether I behaved myself like a Gentleman, as if I lived like a Christian. The Arms that I do, or would always fight with are these, viz. The Headpiece of Patience, Shield of Hope, Sword of Abstinence, Gauntlets of Charity, and Breastplate of Humility; with which I dare die, and without which I will never live. But still providing, in this Case, I am unwilling to revenge the Affront offered me, yet it is not just you exclude me from giving my Opinion of it; which I intent to do here with all the Candour imaginable, and the least or no Reflection. Whatever Men do rashly or unadvisedly in this Bad World, proceeds from small Prudence, and a superfluous Hope; for Passionate People ought rather to incline to what Reason persuades, than what Anger advises. Seneca in his first Book, De Ira, says, that 'tis almost needless to give Council to an Angry Person; for we know he has neither Ears to receive, nor Heart to digest, wholesome Instructions; but what is yet worst of all, the Words we only use to appease, prove oftentimes means to fire him the more, because by them we do as it were bring into his Memory the source of his Disorder. I speak this to you, Sir, that for the future you may neither be a trouble to your Friends, nor a scandal to yourself, for you and I both know, that one Blot many times stains a whole Generation. A Vulgar Person's Crime ends with himself, when a Gentleman's extends to all his Family; It clouds the past, calls in question the present, and corrupts the Blood of all that are to come.  
The Abbot Casiano relates, that a Holy Monk of Scythia, having been much Abused, in Words and Actions, by Pagans and Ill Men; and at length being asked, What Profit he got by his Christ? The Good Man immediately answered, Is it not Profit enough that I am able to withstand your injurious Actions, and Pardon your Reviling Words? O Noble Expression, and worthy to be engraven in the Hearts of Men in indelible Characters, since it teaches us the true value of Patience, and how useful it is to Human Life! How is he to be Esteemed that Patience does not Govern? What can he pretend to, that can't endure Reproaches? How does he live that wants the use of Patience? Of all the Moral Virtues, this is what we have occasion for every Moment; so many and sudden Misfortunes happening in our Lives, that to Suffer and Endure are almost of the same Necessity as to Eat and Drink. Now if I had not been accustomed, more than you, to bear with Injuries, and put the best Construction upon Words, at the same time, you writ me such reviling Language, and accused me falsely of so great a Crime, I might have presently Answered your Bloody Challenge, or sent some Body to have broke your Head; and that, as well to punish your Rashness, as to vindicate my own Innocence▪ What belongs to War, the King is to determine; What to the Commonwealth, the Law; What to Conscience, the Confessor; What to ones Estate, Justice; but what to ones Honour, the Sword can only decide: For if it be just, Sinners Repent, it would not be unjust that false Witnesses should be Punished. But however, remembering I am a Christian and no Pagan, a Regular Priest and no Secular, a Gentleman and no Yeoman, I had much rather forget an Injury than Revenge it: For, as Alexander the Great was wont to say, A Man had need of more Courage to Pardon a Friend, than to kill him. If you had pleased to slander me with Stealing a handsome Parrot, a good Mousing Cat, a Thrush that could Talk, or Canary Bird that could Sing, perhaps I had been Guilty and not Angry; and you found to be no Liar; because these are Trifles I often ask of my Friends, and if they won't give 'em, I steal 'em: But to steal a Wash-Ball, good God sure 'twas what was never in my thoughts; and a perfumed one too, as I understand yours to be! Why, if I had stolen it, I could never have carried it away, or at least given it to any body; and that, either out of regard to my Conscience or my Modesty. To wear Scents, and Pride one self in Perfumes, although it be no great Sin, yet it is a superfluous Charge; and it would be much more commendable for so accomplished a Gentleman as you, to value himself upon the Blood he lost in the Wars of afric, rather than the Musk and Civet he bought at Medina. As all Women naturally have some unpleasing Scents, they alone may be allowed to smell well, though not to live ill; for if their Manners don't exceed their Civet Bags, they cannot properly be said to be Well-bred. Let your Wash ball be never so well scented, a F— t will outsmell it; for as good Fame travels rarely farther than a Kingdom, Ill goes all over the World. Be a Woman Married, a Widow, Maid, or Girl, she should live very reserved, and take more than ordinary care of her Honour; for it would be a great Folly, nay, next to perfect Madness, to have her clothes smell of Perfumes, when her Manners stink of a Whore. I have travelled many Kingdoms, and lived in many Courts, yet never saw that Woman that did not Marry for Perfumes, or some such foolery, and yet I have seen a great many Divorced for ill Customs, and the reason is plain; because no body asks whether a Woman be sweet or not, but all whether she be Rich and Virtuous. Let us now leave the Women, and return to the Men; to whom all the Philosophers, nay Aristotle himself, forbid Perfumes under severe Penalties; councelling 'em moreover with moving Words, not to Prink themselves up with Odours and Ointments; condemning all that did it, not only for Vain but Senseless. Rome was 300 years without either Spices to eat, or Scents to smell; but after they grew weak in War, they grew strong in Vice; from whence we may infer, that had there been no idle People in the World, there had been no Vicious. Livy, Macrobius, Sallust, and Tully, begin, and never cease to Curse, and Lament, the conquest of Asia by Rome; for if the Persians and Medians were overcome by the Roman Arms, the Romans were likewise conquered by their Vices and Effeminacies. To make Sumptuous Funerals, Wear rich Rings, Use Arromaticks in Eating, Drink Wine with Ice, and Carry Perfumes for Scent, says Cicero, in a Letter to Atticus; These are the 5 Vices presented us by the Asians in revenge of their Cities we had taken, and their Blood we had spilt.  
Greater damage had Rome by Asia then Asia by Rome, for those Country's the Romans had of theirs they presently lost, but on the contrary their Vices are still like to stick close by 'em. Escaurus, a Grave Censor once in Rome, said one day in the Senate; 'Tis my Opinion and Vote, Conscribed Fathers, that we should fit out no more Fleets to conquer Asia, since you know where we kill but few of them, they cause most of us to perish by their ill Customs and Habits introduced among us. He that goes to the Wars to fight, or into the Field to labour, takes more care to maintain his Family honestly, than to smell of precious Ointments; from whence we may conclude, that Idle and ill busied Persons take care to smell well, but are careless of living so. In the 320th year after the building of Rome, the Senate prohibited the Women to drink Wine, and the Men to buy Perfumes; so that it was an equal Penalty for the one to busy themselves in Smelling, as for the other to be found Drinking. Which Law, were it now in force, I am of Opinion, there would scarce one day escape in which some Woman would not be Arraigned; for though I will not say flatly, They drink now as much as ever, yet, I am confirmed, the Bitch bites full as hard as the Dog. Further as to Perfumes, Suetonius in his Tenth Book of the Caesars, tells you, that Vespasian being about to confirm a benefit to one of his Courtiers, and smelling a very sweet scent about him, he immediately threw away his Pen, and tore his Paper, and with an angry Countenance thus Reprimanded him; I Recall my Grant, and get thee out of my Presence; for by the Immortal Gods, I had rather thou shouldst smell of Onions and Garlic, than of those Effeminate Unguents. Plucius, a Roman Lord, when proscribed by the Triumvirate, was found out in the Salernian Caves, not by his Footsteps, but the Train of Odours he left behind him; so that having otherwise clearly escaped his Enemies, he was merely betrayed by his Scents. Hannibal the Carthaginian, having been in his youth a Prince of great Courage and Conduct, yet in his old Age, the Ladies of Capua, and Unguents of Asia, weakened him so in Body, and so enervated the vigour of his Mind, that from thence forward he was neither able to gain a Town, nor get a Battle. Aulus Gellius relates, that the Roman Senate being in debate, what Captain to send against Pannonoa, and the Vote coming to Cato the Censor, he said; Of the Two you propose, I am against my young Kinsman Pulius, because I never yet saw him come wounded from the Wars, but have often seen him go smelling to a Perfumed Handkerchief about the City. Fourteen years were the Romans besieging the Great Numantia in Spain, and never could take it till at length Scipio came afresh, and sent great Bribes into the City to employ their Gluttony, busy their Whores, and burn Perfumes; and then they took it in a trice, and destroyed it as quickly. Lycurgus in his Laws commanded the Lacedæmonians under severe Penalties neither to buy or sell Perfumes of Precious Ointments, except for Offerings in their Temples, or Physic for their Sick. From these, and many more Examples might be brought, it appears, that Men have always been forbid Odours and Scents; for speaking truth, there is but little Pleasure got by 'em, when on the contrary, a great deal of Reputation to be lost. And, I must tell you moreover, this is a very costly Vice; for it not only occasions pains in the Head, but also a Vacuum in the Purse. What causes me a great deal of Mirth sometimes, I might better say Disquiet, is to see many vain fluttering young Fellows, buy Perfumed Gloves of 10 Ducats a Pair for their Mistresses, yet have not the Heart to give a Crape Gown to a Sister, or Poor Relation; Whence it comes to pass, that in a Mad Man's House, Fancy rules the Roast, whilst Reason turns the Spit, If Men would be Advised by me, I would take care they should smell well without Sweets, for nothing under the Heavens has a more Odoriferous Savour than a clear and Unblemished Name. Let me conclude therefore with this Truth, That a good Christian is the Sweet Ointment, a good Conscience the rich Amber, and a good Life the choicest Wash-ball, which, I'll assure you, I would only steal or carry about me. No more, but that God Bless you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
V●lladolid, Decemb. 6. 1520.   

LETTER II. To Doctor Melgar, a Physician; in which are handled the Good and Harm occasioned by his Profession, together with the Progress and several Interruptions of that Art; as also the Author's Thoughts of it from its first Original.  
Honoured Doctor, and Imperial Physician,  
YOurs I Received, together with the Recipe enclosed, and you may hereby satisfy yourself or be informed by your Boy, that I have dispatched your business with the Precedent according to desire; So that as you have dealt by me like a Physician, I have treated you as a Friend. Now which of us has done better, you in Physicking me, or I in Soliciting your Assair, all good Men may judge; for I'll assure you, at the very same time I got your Order Signed, I was very sensibly Afflicted with the Gout. Sir, I procured the Herbs and Roots, and bruised and drank 'em according to Order, but better regard may God have to your Soul than they brought relief to my pains, for they not only fired my Liver but also benumbed my Stomach. And I must tell you plainly in this Distemper you have been so far from performing a Cure, that you have done me a great deal of injury, and every time the Cold of my Stomach obliges me to Be●ch, I presently resolve never to have any more to do with Doctor Melgar, since he cou●d no● distinguish a Malady above from one below, for I did not desire you to purge the Humours but rid me of my Pains, not being able to Guests why you should Punish my Stomach when all the Pain lay in my great Toe. I once consulted Doctor Soto about a Sciatica in my Hip, and he prescribed a Blister on my Ears, but which only occasioned all the Court to laugh, and my poor Souses to suffer. Another time I had recourse to Doctor Carthagena in Alcala about the same Distemper, and he ordered me Cow-turds, Rats-dung, Nettle-leaves, Rosebuds, and fried Scorpions to make a Plaster and apply to the part afflicted: but all the good I got, was, that it did not suffer me to sleep one wink in Three Nights, and yet I paid the Apothecary above Six Reals for making it. Whereupon, for the future, I utterly renounce any Man's Friendship that shall advise me to the Aphorisms of Hypocrates, Maxims of Avicenna, Experiments of Ficinus, Treatises of Races, and Recipes of Erophilus, providing in any of their Writings there be the least mention made of this Cursed Plaster, which as it suffered me not to sleep or be at rest, so I not only tore it off immediately but also instantly buried it; for as on the the one hand it burned me, on the other it almost struck me down with its stench. I remember in Burgos, about 20 years since, Doctor Soto cured me of an intermitting Fever, but withal, made me eat so much Sellery and Barley, and drink so great quantity of Endive Water, that for a time I was quite deprived of the use of my palate, nay more, could scarce smell. Some few Years afterwards happening to visit the same Doctor when sick at Tordesillas, I observed he Eat an Orange and Drank a cup of good Canary at the very time his hot fit came upon him, which I not only wondered, but was very much offended at, since he treated me after another-guess manner. Whereupon forcing a smile I thus accosted him, Tell me I beseech you, good Doctor, What is the reason you Cure yourself of your Fever with Wine of St. Martin, and me of mine by Endive Water? To which he readily replied with a great deal of Assurance, You must know, Mr. Guevara, our great Master Hypocrates, under penalty of his displeasure, Commanded us his Successors to recover our own healths with the juice of the Grape, when he ordered nothing but Stilled Water for our Patients. Althô this was spoke out of Raillery, yet I am apt to believe it in some measure true, for I well reber you told me once in Madrid, you never took Purge or knew what belonged to Stilled Waters in all your Life. Of all Arts, the Practice of Physicians surprises me most, since they always seem desirous of Curing others, yet care not to be Cured themselves. But since you desire it of me, generous Doctor, I will give you my thoughts of Physic in general, as also what I have read concerning its first Inventors and Origin, and herein I shall endeavour to comply with your Inclinations without any regard to many others, for I know Blockheads will be offended where I doubt not the Ingenious will be pleased.  

Of the first Inventors of Physic.  
If we may believe Pliny, none of the Seven Liberal Arts were ever so variable and Fallacious as this; for he tells you there was scarce any noted Kingdom or Nation in the World, where it was not almost thrown out as soon as received. As Physic is a Foreigner, many are the troubles it will tell you it has undergone, and more the Kingdoms and Provinces it has travelled through; but the cause was not that People had then no mind to be Cured, but rather because they always found that Science very uncertain. The 1st among the Greciansthat happened upon this Art, was the Philosopher Apollo, and his Son Esculapius; both which grew so exceeding Famous, that they were Flocked to from all parts like an Oracle. But at length Esculapius being left young, and therefore not having yet communicated his Secrets to any Successor, a Thunderbolt at once deprived him of Life, and the Art of an Instructor. Four Hundred and Forty Years remained this Science interrupted, for all that time there was no known Person in the World who bore the Title of Physician, or Cured publicly; and this was to be computed from the Death of Esculapius, to the Birth of Antaxerxes the Second, in whose Reign the Famous Hypocrates was Born. Strabo, Diodorus, and Pliny mention a certain Grecian Woman that flourished in this Art in those times, of whom they relate many wonderful and improbable things, but which in my opinion are either Feigned or Preternatural; for, being true, it must rather have been her business to raise the Dead than cure the Living. Also in those times another Woman arose in the Province of Achaia, who cured by Charms and Spells, without any outward or inward Means; but she was soon silenced by the Senate of Athens, who ordered her to be Stoned and Burnt, Saying, The Gods and Nature had not placed the remedies of Diseases in Words, but in Herbs and Minerals only. While as there were no Physicians in the World, the Grecians, when they made any Experiment with success, obliged themselves to specify it in a Table, and hang it up in the Temple of Diana at Ephesus, to the end that any might have recourse to, and make use of it upon occasion. Trogus Pompeius, Laertius, and Lactantius say, the reason how the Grecians maintained their healths so long without Physicians, was, by gathering sweet Herbs in May, and keeping 'em hanged up and dried in their Houses; Also by Bleeding once a Year, and Bathing once a Month: And moreover by Eating but one Meal in a day. Conformable to which, Plutarch tells us, that Plato, being once asked by the Athenian Philosophers, what he had seen worthy remark in the Island Trinacria (Sicily,) Answered, Vidi Monstrum in Natura, Hominem bis saturum in die. Which imports, He saw a Monster in Nature twice crammed in a day, meaning Dyonisius the Tyrant, who was the first that introduced Eating twice in Four and twenty Hours; for in Ancient times they were only wont to Sup without any other Repast. This we have made curious search into, and read all the Treatises upon, and find the jews did only Eat at Noon, whilst all the rest at Night. But to pursue our design, you must know the Temple of Diana at Ephesus was the most famous of all Antiquity, yet not so much for the Magnificence of its Structure, or great number of Priests, as the Physick-Tables hung up in it to relieve the Sick. Strabo, de situ Orbis, tells us, that eleven Years after the Peloponesian War, the great Hypocrates was born in a small Isle called Coe, in which also two Famous Men Lycurgus and Bias had their Births. Of this Hypocrates, ti● observed, he was small of Body, a little Purblind, had a great Head, spoke Sparingly, was very laborious in Study, and above all, had an excellent and refined Judgement. From Fourteen to Thirty five Years, he employed himself in Athens in Contemplation, Philosophising and Reading, and althô many Learned Men flourished in his time, yet he was justly Esteemed and Preferred before ●em all. Afterwards, leaving Athens, he made a Progress through many Provinces and Kingdoms, enquiring and searching into ●heProperties and Virtues of Herbs and Plants, all which he took Notes of, and diligently confirmed in his Memory. He also made strict enquiry whether any Books had been Written by the Ancients on that Subject, and Reports he met with some whose Authors did not lay down any general Scheme of Physic, but only mentioned some particular Cases they had known to succeed.   

What Kingdoms and Provinces Physic wandered through.  
Twelve Years successively Hypocrates spent in this Progress, and after returning to the Temple of Diana, he there Translated all the Physick-Tables he found hung up from many Ages, all which he reduced to a Method, and moreover added some Observations and Experiments of his own. This Famous Physician was the greatest that ever was known in the World, as well in regard he was the first that Writ and put that Art in Order, as also that it is reported of him he never was deceived in Prognostic he attempted, or Disease he undertook He was wont to advise Physicians not to meddle with disorderly Persons, and Counsel Patients not to have to do with unfortunate Men; affirming a Cure could never fail where a Patient was regular, and Physician Fortunate. This great Philosopher coming to Die, his Disciples began to cure or rather kill many People in Greece, the Art being then New, and consequently their Experience but Little, whereupon the Senate of Athens not only forbade any farther Practice but also commanded 'em forthwith to leave the Country. They being thus excluded Greece, this Art was not only Banished, but forgot 160 Years, none daring either to Teach or Learn it, the Grecians having that profound regard to their Physician Hypocrates, that they affirmed with him it came into the World, and with him went out of it. But these 160 Years being once past, another Philosopher and Physician arose, called Chrysippus, who soon became as Famous among the Argians, as the former had been with the Athenians. This Philosopher, altho' he was both Learned and Fortunate, yet failed not to be very Opinionated and Fanciful in his Judgement; for in all he Writ or said, he made it his Chief business to lessen Hypocrates and cry up himself; insomuch, that he was the first that wrested Physic from t●e Protection of Reason, and placed it in Custody of Opinion. This Physician dying, there grew great contentions amongst the Grecians, which of the two Methods was best, that of Hypocrates, or the other of Chrysippus: But at length they agreed in this, that they would neither follow one, nor admit the other; affirming, that Honour and Life ought never to become matter of dispute. Thus the Grecians continued another hundred Years without Physicians, till Aristrato▪ Nephew to the great Aristo●le, arose, and Rescued Physic from Oblivion; and this, not that he was more Learned than his Predecessors, but rather more Fortunate. This Man recovered the Credit of Physic by curing A●tiochus the first, of an Infirmity in his Lungs; in return of which, the King gave him his Daughter, 1000 Talents of Silver, and a Gold Cup▪ So that he not only hereby gained great repute through all Europe, but also considerably enriched his Family. But nevertheless, he first brought a Scandal upon this Profession, it having been never before known, that any Cured for Hire, or set a price upon their Art; all before him contenting themselves either with Friendship or Charity. This Man Dying, his Disciples soon became more Covetous than Wise, and had greater skill in draining Purses, than relieving Maladies: insomuch, that the Senate of Athens was once more set at work to forbid any Physic being Read, or, for the future, Practised among 'em.   

What other Interruptions Physic underwent.  
Another hundred Years was Physic exploded in Europe; till the Philosopher Euperices restored it in the Kingdom of Trinacria, (Sicily.) But he and a Quack happening to quarrel about curing K. Chrysippus, who then Reigned in that Island; it was Universally agreed, that for the future, no mixed Potions should be used, but only Simples Prescribed. A long while was Sicily, and the greatest part of the World, without knowledge of the Art of Physic, till Herophilus, a Man of great skill, both in that Art and Astrology, started up in Rhodes. Many affirm this Person was Master to Ptolemy, and others, that he was but his Scholar. However, 'tis certain, he left many learned Astrogical Treatises, and Educated a great number of Famous Pupils. This Physician was of opinion, the Pulse was not to be consulted in in the Arm, but Temples; saying, it never failed to show itself there, when it was sometimes concealed in the Wrist. This Secret was so Sacred among the Rhodians, that they maintained and Practised it always, as long as their Doctor and his Disciples lived; yet, at length it came to be neglected, altho' the Physician was never forgot. For after his and his Scholars Deaths, they would neither suffer themselves to be cured, nor admit any Practisers among 'em; and this for fear they might vary from their great Master's Authority, or out of an aversion they had to new Opinions. After all these, Physic lay dead for almost 800 Years, as well in Europe as Asia; till the great Philosopher and Physician Asclepiades appeared in the Island Mitilene, (formerly Lesbos;) a Man Learned enough, but withal extremely Fortunate. This Person opposed consulting the Pulse in the Wrist, as now Practised, and was for those in the Temples or Nostrils, which was not thought so extravagant, but the Asian Physicians made frequent use of 'em a long time after. During all this, we do not read of any Physician in Rome or Italy; for 'tis well known, the Romans were the last of all the World that had Clocks, Buffoons, Barbarians, and Physicians introduced among 'em. Four Hundred and Six Years and Six Months, was the great City of Rome without either Physician or Surgeon; and the first we read of, was, Antonius Musa a Grecian. The occasion of whose coming thither, was a Sciatica the Emperor Augustus had in his Thigh, which he having totally Eradicated and Cured, the Romans, in Gratitude, raised him a Porphyry Statue in the Campus Martius. Prodigious Wealth might this Man have got, and arrived to the Fame of a great Philosopher, had he been contented not to go beyond his Profession, his hard Fate proceeding from a pretence to Surgery, where his business was Physic: For it being often necessary in that Art to cut off Arms, Legs, Fingers, sear Flesh, and apply Cupping glasses, the Romans not accustomed to see such Cruelties, or undergo such Tortures; instead of Recompensing his knowledge at length Stoned and dragged him Dead through the City. When they had thus handled this unfortunate Man, they immediately resolved never to admit Physician or Surgeon more among 'em, which continued till the Reign of Infamous Nero; who, in his return from Greece brought Physicians and Vices good Store along with him. During whose Reign, and his Successors Galba, Otto, and Vitellius, Physic was of great esteem in Italy; but after their Deaths, the good Emperor Titus banished both Orators and Physicians; his reason being, the former were destroyers of good Customs, as the latter Enemies of health. He added farther, I Banish Physicians to prevent Vice, for 'tis well known, where they reside for the most part, the people are very wicked. The great Cato Uticensis was very Jealous of this Profession, especially where they were like to inhabit the Roman Empire; for once writing to his Son Marcellus, from Greece, he says thus. In yours, and my Case, it is evident, the the Love of a Father outdoes the Duty of a Son; for where you have forgot to write to me, I not only frequently take care to send you Letters, but also provide for your Necessaries. If you will not converse with me as a Father, pray write to me as a Friend; and where you cannot respect my Grey Hairs, have at least, regard to my good Works. You know, Son Marcellus, I have been now five Years successively in Greece, and resided for the most part in Athens, where are the most Famous Philosophers and Celebrated Academies in the World. If you would know my opinion of these Grecians, it is this. They talk much, and do little; call all others Barbarous, and themselves only Learned; are Friends to those who will be guided by 'em, but Enemies to such as will not; Dissemble Injuries, but never forgive 'em; are constant in Hate but variable in Love; Hidebound when they give, and Covetous when they get: And in a Word, Son Marcellus, they are naturally Proud and Imperious where they Command, and Slavish when th●y Ob●y. This is what the Philosophers Teach, and People Practise, wherewith I thought fit to inform you, that you might have no Inclinations to leave Rome to c●me hither; for you know well, the Prudence and Staidness of our Country, would suit but ill with the Levity and Novelties of Greece. The day our Sacred Senate shall permit th● Greek Ar●s and Sciences to enter Rome, ou● whole Republic will be inevitably ruined; for where the Romans have reason to boast of living well, the Grecians only busy themselves in talking of it. Although the Grecian Arts are all Dubious, Pernicious, or Scandalous. Yet, I must tell you, Son Marcellus, Physic is like to prove most dangerous to our Commonwealth, for the People here, are long since resolved to Murder those by Potion, they cannot Conquer by Arms. I every day observe these Doctors quarrelling among themselves, not how they shall Cure, but after what manner Kill their Patients. But I enjoin you, Son Marcellus, forthwith to Advise the Senate of the arrival of six Physicians lately sent from hence, that they may not be suffered either to Read or Practise their Pernicious Mysteries among ye.   

Physic to be Prized and Valued for Seven Reasons.  
See here, Sir, the Progress of your Ar● laid down; as, how it was first found out, how Continued, how Lost, how Banished, how Received again; and in fine, how turned out anew to wander through several Countries of the World. By yours you desire me to acquaint you, not only with what I have Read, but also what I think of this Profession, which partly to oblige, and partly convince you of the good and ha●m, done by Knowing and Ignorant Physicians, I will endeavour to comply with  
Physic is to be prized, because the Creator of all things designed it as a Relief to his Creatures in time of need, by placing a Virtue in Plants, Herbs, Waters, Minerals, and even in Words; to which they might have easy recourse, and find speedy benefit by.  
Physic is to be prized, when it lights into the hands of a Prudent, Knowing, Discreet, and Experienced Practitioner, who may sooner find out a Distemper, think of a proper remedy, and Administer it surer than another.  
Physic is to be prized, when the Physician only uses it in acute and dangerous cases; such as a Pleurisy, Quinsy, Imposthume, Scarlet-Feaver, Apoplexy, etc. in all which, means must be diligently sought, and a good Doctor Credited.  
Physic is to be prized, where a Flux of Blood can be cured by Washing, a Head ache by a good Scent, a Pain in the Stomach by a quilted Stomacher, a heat of Liver by an Unction, a Scalding of the Eyes by Cold Water, a Tympany by a Clyster, and a Calenture only with good Diet.  
Physic is to be prized, where I could find a Physician that would rather choose to Cure me with Natural Simples, than Hypocrates his Compounds; and prescribe fair Water before juice of Endive.  
Physic is to be prized, where a Doctor in a Simple-Feaver, not only waits till the third Day be over, but also looks into the Patient's Water to see if it be high coloured, tries the Spleen if it be stopped, has regard whether the Lungs be damaged, or Tongue rough, and opens the Eyes, if they be heavy; so that he never pretends to prescribe, till the Disease be perfectly known.  
Physic is to be prized, where the Physician finding the Case dangerous calls others to his assistance, to enter into Consultation, not Contention and Wrangling, about the Patient's Distemper.  
He that is willing to comply with these Rules, may be safely sent for and confided in, and moreover aught to be well paid for his pains, Physic chiefly consisting in Ability to find out a Distemper, and Experience to apply a proper Remedy.   

Of Nine remarkable Injuries done by bad Physicians.  
I complain to you, noble Doctor, of many Lazy, Blockish, Rash and Unexperienced Physicians, who for having only heard of Avicenna, etc. resided in Guadalupa, or being Footboy to the Queen's Physician, presently post away to the University of Merida, where by a Letter from Rome they soon get to be Bachelors and Graduates in that Profession, but who nevertheless verify the Proverb which says, Physicians of Valencia have large Gowns, but little Knowledge.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many Ignorant and Vulgar Doctors, who having to deal with a dangerous Malady and after Purging, Syruping, Blooding and Anointing, not knowing what to do next, at length prescribe prepared Brickdust before Supper, and Clarified Catspiss at daybreak.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many Boy-Doctors, who not having the least insight into their Profession, prescribe the Alphabet quite through for an ordinary Fever, and often make use of the same dangerous Remedies as are proper against a Pestilence, insomuch that it were far safer for the miserable Patient to sit down at quiet with his Distemper, than hope to be cured by such Means.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many of your Companions, nay, and Scholars, who prescribing against a weak Stomach, overflowing of the Gall, common Scurvy, or a little Flushing of the Blood, all which might be remedied with 3 days Temperance, Sugar and Water, or Honey of Roses, nevertheless order their poor Patients to be tormented with Cupping Glasses, plagued with Clysters, Bled in the Nose, and well Drenched with Juice of Endive, in a manner, that in stead of easing, they rather keep 'em continually on the Rack.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many others your great Cronies, who think themselves wise, and it may be are so, yet never prescribe any common Remedy for fear they should be thought not to know what belongs to Foreign Plants and Distant Drugs.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many ignorant Prentices whom their Masters intrust with their Business, giving 'em an Ephemeris of Critical days, and Symptoms to walk by it, who nevertheless neither regard when the Distemper began, or whether it increase or diminish, but still load the miserable Patient with repeated Doses, till at last they reduce him to great danger of his Life.  
I complain to you, Sir, that generally your Profession are at variance one with another, disagreeing in Humours as in Opinions, which is demonstrable in that some follow Hypocrates, some Avicenna, some Galen, others Rasis, others Ficinus, and some none but their own Suggestions and Imaginations. But still the mischief is, the poor Patient suffers, while the Doctors wrangle and dispute.  
I complain to you, Sir, of many Beardless Practisers, who being Novices in their Art, and but very slender of Judgement, whatever Experiment they have once seen tried, heard or read of, they immeadiately prescribe without the least regard either to their Patient's Constitution or Disease.  
I complain to you, and even of you, good Doctor, that generally you all wrap your Recipes up in such obscure Terms and unintelligible Ciphers, that it is impossible for any but your own Profession to understand 'em. The reason of which I cannot guests at, for if your Precriptions be good they need not be concealed, and if bad, ought not be ordered: Nay, neither ought not to be unknown to us, since it is our parts both to swallow the Potion, and pay the Apothecary.   

The Author's Thoughts of Physic.  
Sir, I have here hinted at the Good knowing Physicians do, and the many Injuries occasioned by the Ignorant; and to deal sincerely, I am of Opinion, though my Misfortunes are many, yet the Villainies of your Profession are more; since at the hazard of our Lives you both purchase lasting Fame, and heap up vast Estates. No Power can contend with yours for Pre-eminence, for no sooner are you entered our Doors but we part with all we have, and approve of all you do; and where the Surgeon takes but 10 Ounces from our Arm, you infallibly draw twice as much out of our Chests. After what we bestow on the Poor, nothing goes beyond what we give to ourselves, I mean, part with to good Physicians, that restore our Healths and ease our Pains: When on the contrary no Money is worse spent than what a bad Doctor carries away from his ruin'd Patient, for where the former aught to be well paid, the latter deserves to be sound kicked. It was a Law much in use among the Goths, that the Patient and Physician should Article together before any thing were attempted, whereby the one obliged himself to Cure, as the other to Pay; and if the Doctor failed in his Art he was to satisfy both Patient and Apothecary. I am of Opinion, Sir, that if this Law were now in force, you and your Fellow Practisers would give yourselves more up to Study, and perform better what you undertook; but as you are paid whatever happen, if you succeed you take the Honour to yourselves, and if not lay all the blame on your Innocent Patient. This is plain, in that you often affirm we drink small Beer, eat Fruit, sleep a-days, neglect what you Order, walk too much abroad, or catch cold when we are in a sweat, so that for the most part where you cannot Cure, you will not fail to Slander. I am mightily pleased with that saying of Hypocrates, That a Physician is little to be valued if he be not always successful, for from thence we may infer, our Health depends not so much on your Physic as your Fortune. Little regard must he have to your Art that aproves of this Maxim, for we are thereby taught to avoid the Knowing and Unlucky, and have recourse altogether to the Ignorant and Prosperous. Eighteen years, since being ill at Osornillo, I remember you came to visit me, and bade me beware how I meddled, you having already killed my Father, murdered my Uncle, destroyed my Sister, and made away with my Cousin, so that if I had a mind to Li●t of that Company you could sooner undertake to dispatch, than cure me. Although you spoke this out of Raillery, yet it immediately sunk into me for a truth, and I thenceforward resolved never to trust you with my Pulse, or confide in your Prescriptions. The Miller we trust only with our Corn, the Farmer with our Horse, Lawyer with our Estate, Taylor with our clothes, but the Physician with our Life. How great a Fool must he be that does not consider well before he admits a Purge into his Bowels, or Lancet into his Arm; since it often happens he could heartily wish the Potion out, and Blood again in his Body. There are no healthier People in the World than such as live regularly, and despise Physic, and the reason is, because Nature oftener requires Conduct than Help. The Emperor Aurelian died 66 years old, in all which time he never Purged, Blooded, or Physick'd, any otherwise than by Bathing once a year, Vomiting once a month, Fasting one day in a week, and Walking one hour in a day. On the contrary Adrian who was every way debauched in his Youth, in his old Age became full of Diseases, so that he never went without Physicians, or was attended without an Apothecary Shop: But would you know what good they did him▪ or Remedies prescribed him, you may be satisfied by what he ordered to be engraved on his Tomb, Perii turbâ Medicorum; as if he would say, It not being in the power of my Enemies to kill me, my Physicians did it in a trice. There is a pleasant Story goes of Galienus the Emperor, who being grievously afflicted with a Sciatica, and a Physician undertaking to cure him, performed indeed his Promise, but nevertheless made him undergo a thousand painful Experiments, whereupon the Emperor one day sent for, and thus said to him, Take, Fabatus, two thousand Sesterces, but withal be informed, I give 'em not for curing my Sciatica, but that thou may'st never cure me more. Wherefore, Noble Doctor, I think it much more advisable to reward Ignorant Physicians for doing nothing, than for the greatest Care and Pains they can take, since we daily see they kill more by their Medicines than their Ancestors destroyed Moors in the Wars. But to conclude my long Epistle, I Accept, Approve, Commend, and Bless the Sacred Mystery of Physic, when at the same time I cannot but Curse, Reprove, and Condemn the Physician that knows not how to make right use of it, for as Pliny says, Non rem Antiqui damnabant sed Artem; Which to make plainer may be thus expressed, The ancient Sages did not find so much fault with the Art, as Artist and Method of Curing, since Nature having placed sufficient Remedies in Simples, Men altogether confounded 'em by Compounds. No more, but God keep you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Madrid, Decemb. 27, 1520.    

LETTER III. To a Lady, the Author's Niece, who fell sick for the death of a little Bitch.  
Much Esteemed Niece, though Afflicted Lady,  
BEing informed of the slight occasion of your Melancholy, we all thought it impossible your Grief should ever exceed our Mirth; for so it is, Madam, and ever will be, that when one perishes, another escapes; one gets repute, another loses it; and where one Laughs, another Mourns; and the reason is, because being so many changes in the World, there can scarce two People be found of one Opinion, and one Condition. For as one part of the Sea is calm, the other tempestuous; in one Country it Thunders, in another the Sun shines: so it often happens to Men, some whereof burst their Spleens with laughing, whilst others break their Hearts with sighing. Since therefore a Calm is as sure to follow a Storm, as a Storm a Calm, in my Opinion none should puff themselves up with Prosperity, or be cast down by Adversity; and this because there is no Grief which shall not be removed, nor Pleasure which will not conclude. We have been acquainted different ways, of the death of your Lap Dog, which we understand has not only afflicted your Mind, but also occasioned a Fever to confine you to your Bed; and to tell you truth, this your Distemper has been the cause of all our Merriment. All Matters of this Life are to be dealt with three ways, either to be Lamented, Laughed at, or Dissembled with; Now, this business of yours is rather to be ridiculed, than flattered, since you fixed your Affection simply, as you continue it foolishly. My Nephew, and your Cousin, Don Gaspar d● Guevara, has earnestly entreated me with Words, and conjured me by tender Expressions, to go see and Comfort you in your Illness; and moreover endeavoured to persuade me, that you were as sensible of the death of your little Bitch, as I concerned for the loss of my dear Sister Donna Francisca. A Child when newborn, knows neither how to Walk. Eat, nor Talk, yet is presently able to Cry; therefore the Crime lies not in that we Mourn, but what we Mourn for. Our first Mother Eve lamented her Son Abel, jacob grieved for joseph, David for Absalon, Anna for Tobias, jeremias Mourned over jerusalem, Mary Magdalen lamented her Sins, St. Peter his Apostasy, our Saviour his Friend Lazarus; and you, Madam, Mourn for your little Bitch. Tears being as drops of Blood distilling from the Heart through the Eyes, I hold him as kind that sheds a few such on a dead Man's Tomb, as that gave him an Estate whilst living. The Office of the Feet is to Walk, of the Tongue to Speak, of the Hands to Work, but of the Heart only to Mourn; for the Eyes are but as it were Limbecks that distil Tears from thence: and as it's Grief is locked up in the very centre of the Body, it can neither make use of the Hands nor Feet; but the Tongue must declare its Wrong, and the Eyes demonstrate its Misery. We may be confirmed by the Eyes of the Afflictions of the Heart, for if the one did not Mourn, the other would never Weep. I say this, Madam, that you must needs love that Spaniel exceedingly well, since you have showed so great concern for the loss of it; for to consider a thing, one either loves or hates, regard must rather be had to the Eyes than Tongue: for this can only reveal what we commonly think, when Tears discover the deepest Affection; Whence it follows that Words may be feigned, but Drops from our Heart must be sincere. What Men commonly say of Women, that their Tears are fictitious, is not true, but nevertheless they may weep for one thing, and say they do it for another; but to Cry in jest is neither in their power, nor ought any body to believe it. To lament for one thing, and pretend it for another, I neither commend nor condemn; for in a generous and brave Soul nothing ought to be more concealed than what we love most. I thought fitting to say this in defence of your Sighs, and to favour your Tears, both which I am apt to believe you bestowed with less devotion than affection, since I am informed your Fever does not at all increase, and yet you still keep your Bed. To confess the truth, Madam, I don't wonder you lament, but am offended at the cause of it, since it would be more both for your Honour and Interest to Mourn your Sins, than the Death of a trifling Mongrel. You being descended from so noble a Family, and having the Character of so good a Liver, great an Estate, Beauteous Complexion, and Wise Conversation, I cannot have patience to see you fix your love so low, as upon a despicable Bitch; for a Plato prudently says, Such is the Lover oftentimes as is the Beloved. Love is of so great force, that both Parties commonly become alike by its power; so, if I love a Rational Creature, I am Rational; but if a Brute, a Brute; Whence we may infer, you do not at all differ in this from your Lap Dog. I have been much ashamed, I could almost say angry, at this Action of yours, which has not only been admired at by many, but also complained of by a greater number, and for my part, I think they had reason; for we ought not to place our Affection but only where it may be both well employed and well received. The best part of the Body is the Heart, and the best affection of the Heart is Love, therefore if this be not advantageously bestowed, the Person must be very unhappy that admits it, it being impossible he should ever know how to live that knows not how to Love. Also I cannot imagine what pleasure you could take in loving such a Creature, or what returns it could make you, unless it were to fill your clothes with Hairs, dirty your Rooms, sleep upon your Squab, load you with Fleas, trouble you to wash her frequently in Summer, and lie upon your Petticoats all the Winter, steal when you were out of sight, and snarl at the Maids for chiding at her beastliness. But yet for all this, you did not content yourself with giving her the best bit out of your Mouth, and furnishing her with wrought Collars and Silver Bells; but would also take it extremely ill if any offered either to strike or steal her, so that she was both troublesome to you, and a plague to every body else. Of you two I know not whether was greater, the Bitch's Fortune in being so well beloved, or your Misfortune in doting on so inconsiderable an Animal. Nevertheless I am satisfied, to keep a Monkey, Dog, Cat, Parrot, or Thrush, has no harm in itself, so long as we employ our Eyes only to observe the one, and our Ears to hear the other sing, but the Heart is never to be made use of on so contemptible an Occasion. To make so much ado about a worthless Bitch, is neither the part of a Gentlewoman nor Christian; for a Christian's Tears must rather be employed for Offences than Losses. If the Death of your little Bitch, and the Merits of your Life were to be brought before the Governor of Zaratan, I believe he would determine the one to be laughed at, as the other lamented; and which neither you nor I ought to take amiss, because we are both sensible of what we lose, but not enough concerned for the Sins we commit. It is much greater reason you should remember God that made you, than a Bitch that died with you; since God gave you a Soul to enjoy, and an Understanding to know him; but your triflng Favourite had nothing but a Tongue to bark at you, and Teeth to bite you. The greatest concern you ought to have for your Bitch is because you did not give her an honourable Burial, by calling the Frier-Mendicants to your Assistance, for than she might have had the advantage both of their Absolution and Prayers. We read of Alexander the Great, that he buried his Horse, Augustus a Parrot, Nero a Thrush, Virgil a Mosquetto, Comodus a Monkey, and Heliogabalus a little Bird; all whose Obsequies were performed both with Prayers and other Ceremonies. And I do not at all doubt, had you either heard or read of these Passages, you would soon have bu●ied your Bitch with the like Pomp: tho' to tell you truth, I am of Opinion you did worse to shed so many Tears, than they to bestow so great Magnificence on their Animals. Another oversight you committed, in not calling the Midwife Galliarda to your Bitch's Labour, nor going on Pilgrimage to St. Christopher's; for thereby she might have saved her Life, and you your Tears. But setting aside all farther Raillery, I earnestly entreat you to grieve no more on such an account, but at length begin to be Wise, for otherwise I shall think you rather fit to be reclaimed by Hellebore than a Jest. No more, but God keep you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Burgos, Febr. 8. 1524.   

LETTER IV. To the Magistrate Nunnio Tellio, concerning the Qualifications of a True Friend.  
Honoured SIR, though Unadvised Young Man.  
HAving read your Letter over and over, I found in it many things worthy to be Answered, and more to be blamed: for considering what you write, and how you write, it is impossible but you should weary your Pen, and tyre out your Reason. You ought not only to have regard what, but to whom you Address yourself; for Men of Quality and Slaves are not to be accosted after the same manner; too much haste and negligence for the most part savouring of Disrespect. Take it for granted, Sir, the Reader's Authority is very much lessened by the Writers Assurance; and therefore I would advise you for the future to sit down, and consider what you are to say, and how you shall express it before you begin your Letter; for an Absurdity, if it be folly to speak, it will be much greater to write it. Never begin any Letter of importance till you have first made a rough Draught of your Design, for otherwise you will write what will certainly be laughed at, and request what will as surely be rejected. Sir, you say you desire me for your Lord, yet have chosen me for your Friend, but I must tell you there is so great difference between these two Offices, that were you sensible of it, you would neither ask the one, nor think of the other at the same time: for where a Friend is engaged at liberty, a Lord is taken thro' necessity; a Friend serves, a Lord requires Service; a Friend gives, a Lord takes; a Friend endures, a Lord blusters; a Friend is silent, where a Lord condemns; and lastly, a Friend Pardons, when a Lord Revenges. So that this being true, I hold it impossible they should ever agree together; you to be my Vassal, and I to be your Friend. In making me your Lord, you must serve, follow, obey, and fear me, all which are both prejudicial to Liberty, and Enemies of Repose; so that you must often feel disquiet, and likewise cause me some trouble. It may also happen, where I command you as a Lord, you may think to obey me as a Friend, and so believe yourself justified, where I am disappointed and wronged. To ask me likewise to be your Friend, is to require the greatest Slavery imaginable, for I am thereby obliged to be yours all my life l●ng; for true Friendship cannot be such where the Person beloved does not continue the same with the Lover. Friends are to be so absolutely united▪ that they are to have but one Tongue to talk with, the same Feet to wa●k with, and but one Heart to produce inseparable Affections; in a manner that one Lise supports, and one Death ends 'em. It is very strange for one Friend to tell another, He won't do such a thing, or, he cannot, when the Laws of true Friendship oblige him to give all he has, and do all he can. In a Friend's House ought neither to be Weights nor Measures, Bonds nor Bills, Property nor Thieury, for there we may enter without knocking, and take without ask. He ties himself up very strictly that enters the Lists of Friendship, for in such Case he has neither power to den●, nor leave to excuse. I cannot take him for my Friend, or even a good Neighbour, that when he gives, does it by Weight and Measure, and sometimes when I ask, refuses me; for where is the reason that he should not partake of my Wants, who is the only Object of my best Wishes? Seneca in his Book, De Ira, says▪ A Wise Man ought to have but one Friend, and likewise must take care he have no Enemies. Which was well advised, since Enemies are dangerous, and too many Friends troublesome; for the Rules of Friendship are so very nice, that where many pretend, few are able to perform 'em. A True Friend's Motto is that He would sooner suffer for our Honour, than be relieved by our Fault. The Philosopher Mimus said, He had a greater regard to the Love in his Friends Heels, than Grief in his own Heart. Also true Friends are obliged to have the same sense of another's Misfortunes, as they have of their own; and at the same time are not only to be sensible, but also assisting in a Remedy; for otherwise where they accept their Tears, they will have reason to complain of their Stinginess or Neglect. The Philosopher Eschines being asked, What was the greatest trouble of this Life? answered, To lose what one Wins, and part from what one Likes: Which was happily spoken, for in the one a Man loses his pains, and in the other his pleasure. It is another privilege of Friendship, that we resent a Wrong done to a Friend in the same degree as to ourselves; for no sooner can he be afflicted than we are to be disquieted. We ought to make choice of such as are Discreet to Advise, and Powerful to Defend; for if they want Discretion, we shall need Council in prosperity; and if Power, Relief in Adversity: so that even amidst our Pleasures we may as well be lost, as in our greatest Troubles ruined. Great occasion has every Man for a true Friend, who may assist when present, and defend him when absent, insomuch that he that has met with such a one may well boast himself possessed of the greatest Treasure upon Earth; for he is to Relieve him with his Estate, Council him with his Prudence, Defend him by his Power, and Correct him when he does amiss; so that it is both his Duty and our Happiness to keep us from falling when staggering, as to lift us up when down. It is also required in a true Friend to be both Discreet and Secret; for if he be a Fool he is not to be endured, and if a Babbler may soon ruin us. Our Estate, Person, Conscience, or Life may be entrusted with a Relation, Acquaintance, or Neighbour, but our Secrets must only be confided to a Friend. It also comes under the Rules of Friendship not only to conceal all one hears, but also to be silent of all one sees; For Men have ever valued themselves upon holding their peace, when they generally repent of too much talking. Never must one Friend flatter another, for the more we love, the more we are obliged to Favour, Defend, Counsel and Correct. Also never reproach for Benefits done, but be satisfied with our bare trouble for a Reward; for the Heart is never more at ease than when it has discharged itself honourably to a Friend. Also in a dangerous Distemper we must not always expect a Friend should ask our assistance, for oftentimes he may grieve long before he cares to complain. Virtue has sometimes Friends, and Prosperity is never without 'em; but be they what they will, they are both known in Adversity, for where the better sort follow Virtue, the greater part will be sure to wait upon Fortune. All Acquaintance are not proper for Friends, for though they may be honest enough, yet they are generally indiscreet; and where we may be allowed to have a respect for their Persons, it will not be prudence to trust 'em with our Secrets. These and many other Qualities are to be required in a true Friend, all which though you may find in my Mouth, yet I would not advise you to expect '●m in my Heart, and therefore you would do wisely neither to think of me for your Lord, nor choose me for a Friend; for as to one, I am not powerful enough, and the other not good enough. No more, but God Preserve you, and give me Grace to serve and obey Him.  
Logronio, May 3. 1526.   

LETTER V. To the Abbot of Monserrat; in which he Treats of the Oratories of the Ancients, together with some few Reflections on the Court.  
Most Reverend and Holy Abbot,  
THe Eleventh of May, a Monk of yours, Father Roderigo, gave me your Reverences Letter, which I not only received with Joy, but also Read with Pleasure; and that because sent from so Noble a Friend, and brought by so good a Brother. Of the Emperor Aurelian, 'tis reported, that the Consul Domicius his Dispatches were so very troublesome to him, he would run 'em over slightly indeed, but never take any farther notice of 'em; when on the contrary, those of the Censor Annius Turinus, he not only Read deliberately, but speedily Answered with his own Hand. In truth, Sir, there are some Men so very troublesome in Conversation, and impertinent in Writing, that one would sooner choose to endure a Calenture, than either hear them Talk, or Read their Letters. But this is not to be wondered at, since the various Constitutions and Conditions of Men, often occasion the Heart to desire what it should hate, and be indifferent in what it should Love. I mean, I am always too negligent to hear from Monserrat, and yet am still pleased at Court. You desire to know, Reverend Father, if the Ancients had Oratories like us, and where they were to be found; in which I will satisfy you, as to what I have Read, or can at present Remember. The Oracle of the Sicilians was Bacchus; Of the Rhodians, Ceres; of the Ephesians, their great Diana; of the Philistines, Belus; of the Grecians, Delphos; of the Numidians, juno; of the Romans, Berecinthia; of the Thebans, Venus; and lastly of the Spaniards, Proserpina; whose Temple was in Cantabria, now Navarre. What we Christians call an Hermitage, they then named an Oracle, which was always placed in some Remote part, or City of great Veneration. There one Priest always attended close locked up; for they that went on Pilgrimage thither, were to kiss the Walls, and pay their Devotion without entering, except the Priests only, and Foreign Ambassadors. Near this Oracle were Trees planted, within it Lamps continually burning, and the Roof of it was all of Lead. At the Door stood a great Image to receive Devotion, near which was an Altar placed for Sacrifice, and a House built to lodge Pilgrims. Plutarch exceedingly commends Alexander the Great, because wherever he Conquered he ordered Temples to pray in, and Oracles to Visit. King Antigonus, once Page to Alexander, and Father of Demetrius; though he was blamed by Historians for being Arbitrary and Dissolute, yet they greatly magnified him for his Devotion, in going once a Week to the Temple, and once a Month to the Oracle. The Senate of Athens honoured Plato much more after his Death, than when he was Alive; and their Reason was, because he at length, retired from Study and Books to the Oracle of Delphos, where he Lived, Died, was Buried, and afterwards adored for a God. Archidamas the Grecian, Son of Agesilaus, having governed the Commonwealth of Athens 22 Years; and moreover, obtained many Signal Victories both by Land and Sea; at length caused a Famous Oracle to be Built upon the steep Mountains of Argos, where he ended his Life; as also chose a Sepulchre. Of all the Oratories of the Ancients, that in the Isle of Delphos was the most Famous; for thither all Nations had recourse, brought most Offerings, and there made most Vows, and received most Answers from their Gods. When Camillus had overcome the Samnites, the Romans vowed to make an Image of Gold and send it to theirOracle; Whereupon the Ladies tore off the Chains from their Necks, Bracelets from their Arms, and the very Rings from their Fingers, to promote so Pious a design, whereby they received great Honour, as also some Privileges. I thought fit to give you these Examples, Reverend Father, that you might know, 'tis no new thing to have Oratories and Oracles; The difference betwixt ours and theirs being, the one was appointed by Men, and the other chosen by God. I never pass by your thick Woods, daring Mountains, frightful Precipices, and gaping Gulfs, but I immediately dispose myself to Devotion; and would to God I could continue the same here: But woe is me! Woe is me! Father Abbot, that the older I grow, the worse I am; for in Wishes I am only a Saint, where in Works I still continue a Sinner. I know not whether it be because Friends advise me, Parents importune me, Enemies misguide me, Business hinders me, Caesar employs me, or the Devil tempts me; that the more I resolve to retire from this bad World, the more I find myself engaged in it. But, is there any sincere Pleasure in the Court? No certainly. For here we suffer Hunger, Cold, Thirst, Weariness, Poverty, Sadness, Trouble, Disgrace, and Persecution; and this, because we have no body to deprive us of our Liberty, or take account of our Ease. Believe me, Father Abbot, Your Country is much safer to live in both for Soul and Body than ours here; for at Court 'tis better to Hear than Act, See than Reflect, and Suffer than Resent. At Court he that is Poor is soon forgot, and hethat is Rich is quickly Persecuted. At Court the Poor Man has nothing to Eat, and the Rich rarely any Virtues to boast of. At Court there are few Live satisfied, yet all are Ambitious of it. At Court every body is for displacing, and no body for obeying. At Court none care for dying there, yet all are for keeping there. At Court most do what they should not, but few what they ought. At Court all rail at it, yet none care to leave it; and lastly, I affirm, what I have oftentimes Preached, that the Court is only fit for Laics that may get by it, and Youth that can abide by it. If on these conditions, Reverend Father, you have a mind to come hither, I am ready to change with you for Monserrat, when you please: But nevertheless, as my Friend, must tell you at the same time, you'll sooner repent being a Courtier, than I an Abbot. From the Hands of Father Roderigo, I received the Spoons you sent, and return you a Book in Exchange: So that as I shall not want where-withal to Eat, you may stand in need of nothing to Pray. As for what you write about the Monastéry, do you Importune GOD as my Friend, and I'll Solicit Caesar as yours. No more, but God keep you always under his Sacred Protection.  
Valladolid, jan. 7, 1535.   

LETTER VI To a particular Friend of the Author's, Advising him not to be Covetous and Griping, illustrated with severe Reflections on that Vice.  
Much Esteemed, though Covetous SIR,  
THE good Emperor Titus, Son of Vespasian, and Brother of Domitian, was so v●●y well beloved throughout the whole Roman Empire, that when he died, these Words were engraved on his Tomb, Deliciae Moriuntur Generis Humani; The Comfort and Delight of Mankind is Deceased. Of which Excellent Person it is related by Suetonius, that being once at Supper with divers Princes and Ambassadors, he all of a sudden fetched a deep sigh, and cried out, Diem Amisimus, Amici; which he might have made clearer by saying, Let not this day be reckoned amongst the rest of my Life, since I have done no manner of good in it. Also Plutarch writes of Alexander the Great, that many Philosophers disputing in his Presence about the Happiness of Human Life, he delivered his Opinion thus, Believe me Friends, and do not doubt it, the greatest Pleasure in this World is having wherewithal to give, and wanting a Heart to Punish. Likewise the same Author tells you of Theopompus the Theban, that being asked by a Soldier for Subsistence, and not having any Money, he gave him the very Shoes off from his Feet, saying, If I had any thing better thou shouldst have it, but having not, be contented with these for the present, and I will take care for thy Pay; for I think it much more just that I should go Unshod than thou Unfed. Dionysius the Tyrant coming one day into his Son's Chamber, and seeing great Treasure every where heaped up, reprimanded him severely in this manner, Son I gave you not these Riches to hoard, but distribute, there being no Person so Potent as the Liberal and Generous, for he thereby both preserves his Friends, and gains the good will of his Enemies. Sir, I have made use of these several Examples to hint something of moment to you, which had you been in Castille as you are in Andaluzia, I had not writ but whispered in your Ear; for though we may have liberty to correct our Friends, yet we are by no means to scandalise 'em. Some Andalusians have acquainted me here, and others informed me from your parts, that you are lately grown very Covetous and Griping, both which I'll Assure you have not only Afflicted, but extremely Affronted me: for Covetousness and Honour are so very Incompatible, that they never reside in one Person, or ever come under one Roof. All other wicked People have their pleasures in Vice, except the Miser only, who grieves for what others possess, yet will not enjoy what he has of his own. The Curse of a Covetous Man is, that he is always jealous his Tenants won't pay him, his Cattle can't eat Stubble, that Hunters will break down his Hedges, or Thiefs rob his House, and yet he can never wish to keep his Money safer from any one than he does from himself. The Miser's chiefest delight is in weighing his Gold, counting his Silver, selling his Wine, storing his Granary, starving his Family, and Multiplying his Cattle; nay, his greatest glory is to Get, and not Spend; Ask and not Give; Lend and never Borrow with design to Repay. But still he is not to be envied, for his plagues are much greater when you ask him a Farthing for Matches, a Penny for Small Beer, a Halfpenny for Potherbs, Twopences for Oil, and as much for Salad; for than he will soon fill the House with Clamour, and give his Wife and Children to the Devil for the sake of a little Mammon. No common Bounty does God bestow upon such as are generous; for could the Miser once taste of their Satisfaction in giving, he would scarce ever after retain Necessaries for himself. The generous Person cannot possibly give more than will be given him, for whatever Favours he bestows, he is still sure to have his Liberty to himself: Also he is Lord where ever he lives, and Master where ever he comes, for being assured of a Noble Return, no Person will ever deny him any Request. When it fares quite contrary with the Miser, whom none care to talk to, deal with, or come near; he having always his House Nasty, Stockings out at Heels, clothes greasy, no Company, nor any thing either to Eat or Drink. How can he be expected to relieve another's Misfortunes, who won't keep the Water out of his own Shoes? How can he be supposed to give Alms that regards not his own Wants? Who can think he will Entertain Strangers freely, who starves his own Flesh and Blood? How can the Poor expect Wood from him that stifles himself with Muck? Or, why should they hope to have any of his Corn, when he designs none of it for his own Use? Who dares be Friend to a Covetous Man, when he is so great an Enemy to himself? How many People do we see daily, to whom God has given Ability to get Riches, Discretion to Preserve 'em, Wisdom to Protect 'em, Life to Possess 'em, but not a Heart to Enjoy 'em; so that having it in their power to become Masters of another's Wealth, they are nevertheless Slaves to their own. How much better were an honest Poverty, than such cursed Avarice; since the Poor can be contented with little, when the Rich won't be satisfied with much? What greater Plague can happen to any Man, than to desire what others possess, yet to want what he has in his own power? What can he be said to enjoy that does not enjoy himself? The Miser has his Eyes always busied on his Vines he is Planting, his Hands on his Money he is receiving, his Tongue on his Factors he is trusting, his Feet on his Cattle he is Visiting, his time on his Snares he is preparing, his Ears on his Accounts he is taking, his Body on his Bargains he is making, and his Heart on his Treasure he is hoarding, so that whilst he thus neglects himself he may well be said to have the least share of himself. Whilst Covetous Men have not the Heart to relieve or entertain their Friends, can it be expected they should afford any thing to themselves? No certainly, for they'll think all such Expenses as ill bestowed as Money upon Thiefs that Rob 'em. 'Tis false to say, a Miser is rich; since he has not possession of Wealth, but rather that of him, He having only the trouble of getting, danger of keeping, plague of defending, and torment of paying out; and if it were not for very shame, I believe he would sooner content himself with Bread and Onions, than rob his Purse of a single Farthing. The Covetous Person's condition is not so good as the Potters, for where he makes profitable use of Dirt, the Miser will not so much as touch his Gold. Also the one gets his living by selling Pots, whilst the other forfeits his honour by heaping up Riches. The safer a Miser keeps his Wealth, always the more satisfied he is, and where three Locks suffice his Chest, a hundred will scarce content his Heart. A generous Person ought to take a great deal of care not to fall into this Vanity, for where once it has taken the least possession, it will cause a Man to degenerate more and more every day. To revenge one's self on a Covetous Man, the best way were, to wish he would live long, for certainly no Penance under the Sun can equal his rigid self denial. May I never be credited, if when I was Visitor at Arevalo, I did not know a very rich Man, who of all his Plenty eat nothing but the rotten Fruit, perished Grapes, tainted Flesh, Mouldy Corn, sour Wine, Mouse-eaten Cheese, and rusty Bacon; so that he lived upon only what he could not sell, or otherwise dispose of. Also I confess I went often to visit him, but more out of a desire to observe than have to do with him; for I always found his Rooms full of Cobwebs, Doors off the Hooks, Windows shattered, Sashes torn, Floors full of Holes, Roofs until'd, Chairs broken-backed, and Chimneys ready to drop; so that his was a Hovel fitter to burn than live in, and more proper for an Alms-house than a Gentleman's. Although it be pity to prosecute my ill nature farther, yet I cannot help telling you moreover what I heard from his Neighbours, that whenever any Friend or Relation came to visit him, he was wont to make use of their Houses, and borrow all his Entertainment. Very miserable must Avarice needs be, since an ill Reputation can't repress, nor thoughts of Death prevent it; The Covetous and Griping Person's business being only to seek out Cares for himself, Envy from his Neighbours, Jealousy from his Enemies, Plunder for Thiefs, Danger for his Body, Damnation for his Soul, Curses from his Heirs, and Suits for his Children. All these things, Sir, I have thought fit to put you in mind of, that you may know what a wretched Profession you are engaged in, and how extremely you have been misled; which as to your Friends it is Matter of Disquiet, to yourself it will likewise be indelible Scandal. Reclaim therefore your past Obstinacy, and resolve for the future to live after another manner; for where a Gentleman may casually suffer some breach in his Estate, he is to endure none in his Honour. If notwithstanding all has been said you are still bend upon being Miserable and Covetous, be assured from this very moment I renounce your Friendship, and disclaim any knowledge of you; not thinking it at all for my Reputation to be acquainted with a Man that will Lie, or Hoard up his Money. I send you this Letter without either Head or Feet, for being on a Subject of Anger and satire, I could not think it reasonable it should either be known to whom writ, or by whom written. No more, but God keep you, and give me Grace to serve him.  
Medina, Apr. 4. 1535.   

LETTER VII. To Don Henrique Henriquez; in Answer to several pleasant Questions.  
Much Respected SIR, and my good Old Friend,  
VAldivia your Solicitor gave me lately a Letter, which I presently guest to be yours by its few Lines, and many Blots: And cannot but think, had God made you a Scrivener, as he did a Gentleman, you would have been much more expert at dying Cordavant Felts, than Writing either Bills or Bonds. Always endeavour, Sir, whenever you write, to keep your Lines straight, Letters even, Paper clean, Folding exact, and Seals clear; for it is a received Maxim at Court, that by what one Writes is shown one's Prudence, and in what Manner our Breeding. In yours were contained many Questions in few Words, and therefore my Answers cannot be expected of larger extent. You first Ask me, what made me come to Court? To which I Answer, theCause was rather thro' Necessity than Inclination: for in the Suit I then had with the Church of Toledo, it was absolutely necessary I should come to defend myself, and promote my right. You next inquire what it is I do here? Why, setting aside grappling with my Enemies, and enlarging my Business every day, I do nothing but undo myself. Then you have a mind to know what is my chiefest Employment? Why, truly according to a Courtier's Office of Wishing ill, Sowing Strife, Blaspheming, Epicurizing, Lying, Undermining, and Defaming, I may rather be said to be ruined than Employed. Next, you would be informed who I most converse with; To which I answer, that from our Childhood our chiefest business here is not to seek whom we may converse with, but rather whom we ought to avoid. We have scarce time sufficient to defend ourselves from our Enemies, and yet you would have us employ the greatest part in looking after new Friends. In Prince's Courts there may indeed be Conversation, but seldom any Association; for there Enmity is generally a Native, when Friendship is an utter Stranger. The Court is of that pernicious Quality, that they are always worst thought on who are visited oftenest, and worst dealt by who are spoken best of. Those who have a mind to live at Court, if they will be curious and no Fools, may find many things to stand in awe of, but more to descend themselves from. You Inquire, Sir, how stand the Differences between the Admiral and Count de Miranda? in which I can satisfy you no farther, than that they both still find wherewithal to keep one another in play. You also ask, what News from the Emperor? Whether will he speedily return or not? As to both which, all we know at present is, that the Turk is retreated, Florence Agree●, the Duke of Milan reduced, the Venetians have furled up their Topsails, the Pope and Emperor have a right Understanding between 'em, the States of Naples are divided, the Cardinal of Colonna is dead, the Marquis of Villafranca made Viceroy, the Prince of Orange Murdered, and the Chancellor and Confessor have each a Cap given 'em. Other secret News they write from thence, as it may be pleasant for us to hear, it must needs be much more grievous to them that suffer; and which is, that many of those Gallants that waited on the Emperor into Italy are there fallen deeply in Love, and have fooled away most of their Money; but in this case I can assure you, their Ladies are resolved to be even with 'em, for if they leave any great Bellies behind, they must expect to find the like here when they come home. You desire moreover, Sir, to know how our Provisions hold out this Lent? To which I answer, that thanks be to God we are neither like to want Store of Fish, nor Sins to confess. You likewise Inquire, whether things with us be dear or cheap? As to which I must inform you what my Steward the other day told me, that from October to April I had spent above 140 Ducats in Wood and Coal, and the reason was, because this City of Medina is rich in Holidays, but poor Woods, in a manner that here our Fires almost stand us in as much as our Feasts. There are other things to be had at a much easier rate, such as dreadful Lies, ridiculous News, Debauched Women, Feigned Friendship, continual Envy, Ungenerous Malice, Vain Words, and false Hopes, all which we have in so great Plenty, that we might even set up a Fair on their single account. You likewise ask, whether Matters are easily dispatched at Court, you having occasion to solicit something? I answer, that in regard all things here are either Weighty, Irksome, Prolix, Costly, Intricate, Unfortunate, Hunted after, Wished for, Lamented, or Disordered; Of Ten you shall get well dispatched, you shall find above Ninety nine succeed otherwise. Then you would know if our Fair be extraordinary? Why, in good Faith, as I am a Courtier, and deeply engaged in Law, I have neither Merchandise to sell, nor any Money to buy; and therefore where I cannot commend, I find no occasion to blame: But however I sometimes walk a turn or two among the Shops, and observe so many rich things, that as I have a kind of pleasure in the bare sight, so I must needs own I have no ordinary uneasiness in not being able to purchase 'em. The Empress was pleased the other day to honour it with her presence, but as a most wise Princess, would carry not so much as one of her Ladies along with her, well knowing their Sparks to be so very poor, and Inclinations so fervent, that where it might be proper to a●k a Fairing, they would infallibly be obliged to pay for it themselves. You next inquire, whether the Court be healthy or not? Why truly, as to Corporal Infirmities, we are pretty well in health, except the Licentiate Alarzon only who talking the other day earnestly in Council, dropped down dead of a sudden, whose death, though it frighted all, yet reformed none. But as to Spiritual Maladies we have good store, such as Anger, Envy, Lust, Malice, Pride, Covetousness, Gluttony, Villainy, Perjury, and what not; all which are not only damage to the Body, but also pernicious to the precious Soul. I have often had recourse to your Letter, to consider whether I had answered it fully or not, and find there is nothing left but to tell you it seemed to me rather a parcel of Interrogatories to Examine Witnesses, than an Epistle sent to a Friend. I have nothing more to add, but that I am very weary, and quite tired out; and that not with Answering, but Construing your confounded Letter. God keep you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Medina del Camp●, june 5. 1532.   

LETTER VIII. To the Duke of Alva; Of Sickness and its Benefits.  
Most Illustrious and highly esteemed Sir,  
AT the time Palomeque your Servant came to visit me, and brought your Grace's Letter, I was seized with so violent a Fever, that I had neither power to Read, nor so much as Inclination to speak a word; But afterwards, my fit a little abating, I had more leisure to Peruse, and was exceedingly Obliged by your Grace's kind Wishes for my Health, and Concern for my Misfortune. Believe me, Sir, whilst my Fever was on me I had much greater desire to Drink than Read; for I'll assure you, I would then have given all my Library for but a glass of Cold Water. By yours I understand your Grace has also been ill, and that you are therewithal very well satisfied, both because happily recovered, as also for the future resolved to keep even with your Sins, and abstain from all manner of Excess. For my part, my Lord, I am extremely sorry for your Sickness, as I am exceedingly pleased with your Pious Resolutions; althô it be true, I should be much more contented to see you fulfil, than hear you Promise; for where Sick People always abound with Vows and Wishes, Paradise admits only of good Works. But however, in my opinion, there is nothing shows a Wise Man more than to behave himself well in Adversity, and to benefit by his Infirmity. As there is no greater Madness than to Misemploy one's health, so there is no Wisdom exceeds his that is the better for his Illness; for as the Apostle said, Cum infirmor tunc fortior sum. The Weaker I am the Wiser I grow. The Prudent Sick Person being neither swelled by Pride, nor Combated by Luxury, assaulted by Avarice, nor Molested by Envy, raised by Anger, nor Abased by Sloth; nor, in a Word, is he ever troubled with points of Honour or any such Fooleries. Would to God, My Lord Duke, we could become when well, what we promise to be while Sick. All the concern of a bad Christian when ill, is, to get soon well; not that he may repent, but rather Sin on and take a farther glut of the World: when the chief desire of a good Man, is, to recover his health, only that he may have more time to amend his Life. In time of Sickness, we are neither sensible of Kindness or ill-will, either of Friends or Enemies; mind neither Riches nor Poverty, Honour, nor Dishonour, Delights nor Disgusts, Commanding nor Obeying, heaping up Wealth nor losing it: Nay, in fine, would be willing to part with whatever we had been getting all our Lives time, to be but rid of a single pain in the Head. When ill we cannot have the least relish of Pleasure, and when well the greatest fatigue is tolerable. What can he be said to want that has his health, or he to enjoy, that stands in need of it? What does it signify to have a Down Bed, if we cannot take a wink of Sleep on it? Or the best Wine if our Physicians forbids us the taste of it? What does it avail to have many Dishes set on our Table, if the bare sight offends us; or our Chests full of Gold, if the greatest part must be spent upon Doctors and Apothecaries? Health is so great a Treasure, that we must not only watch diligently over it, but pray continually for it; which, nevertheless is commonly neglected, since we find that Blessing is seldom sufficiently known, till lost. Plutarch, Nigidius, Aristonius, Dioscorus, Plotinus, Nicephalus, and others, have writ many Tracts and Discourses how to restore and preserve health: Yet I am of opinion, where they have once happened to be in the right, they have a hundred times rel'yd barely upon Fancies and Conjectures, which generally prove ineffectual. Believe me, my Lord Duke, in what I am going to affirm by Experience; that the best and surest means to Establish Health, and abate most Maladies, is, to avoid Discontent, and eat but verysparingly. How exceedingly advantageous must it needs be, both for our Souls and Bodies to live without Epicurizing or Melancholizing; for excess in Eating corrupts the Humours, and too much trouble Enervates the Mind. If Men would neither exceed in Eating or Grieving, Diseases would not find wherewithal to Prey upon us, nor vexations to torment us; for if we observe, the common cause of all our Misery proceeds, either from our Appetites or our Fancy. Experience teaches us every day, that Madmen, Fools, and Blockheads, are the only healthy and happy People; for they neither trouble themselves with Honour, nor are sensible of any affront: When on the contrary, the Wise and Discreet are not only concerned for what Men say, but also, for what they imagine they think. There are some so very conceitedly acute, that they will not content themselves, to put their own constructions upon Words, but also think it for their Honour to guests at other Men's thoughts; which only occasions them to be a plague to themselves, and to deserve the Ill-will of every body else. I dare affirm no Poison can prove so pernicious to Humane Life, as prosound Melancholy, for then the Afflicted Heart wearies itself out with Sighing, and bursts itself with Sobbing. And moreover, I will be positive, that amongst the wisest of this World, cares occasion more Distempers than Gluttony, for we may every day observe the Brisk and Sprightly to be fat and well Complexioned; When the Melancholy and Heavy are for the most part Thin, Lean, and Consumptive. I must confess to your Grace, upon this occasion, that the late Fever I had, proceeded rather from Thoughts than Victuals; for if I had not perplexed myself about a trifling assair, I might now have been able to eat a Belly full without any danger You write me, Sir, you have got a great Rheum by Sleeping on the ground in this hot Month of August, and I am much of your opinion; for where Sweeting sometimes relieves, it oftener occasions Coughing that does us a great deal of injury. Also I understand by your Letter, you would have me send you some News; But I must inform you, that in this Court there is little to be trusted to Paper, and much to be spoken in the Ear; for matters belonging to Princes and great Men, may indeed be heard, but withal, must never be divulged. Here and elsewhere, I have often observed, Men profit themselves by silence, when others have been ruined by their Babbling: Wherefore I must needs beg your Grace's Excuse for the present, and when we next meet, my Tongue shall endeavour to make good the defaults of my Pen. No more, but God keep your Grace always under his Sacred Protection.  
Burgos, Octob. 15. 1524.   

LETTER IX. To Don John Parelloso: That we may be serviceable to Women in their Husband's Absence, but are not to Visit 'em.  
SIR,  
ALexander the Great being in Egypt, a poor Man, named Biancius, came to Ask his Leave and Charity to Marry his Daughter, both which the good Prince not only readily granted, but also gave him moreover the Command of a very rich and populous City; whereupon the frighted Egyptian thus spoke to the generous Emperor: Consider mighty Prince what you give, and to whom you are so bountiful, for otherwise, perhaps, it may one day happen you'll think your s●lf as much deceived in the Person, as I am suprized with the Gift. To which the Noble Monarch instantly replied, I am not overseen in what I proffer, nor to whom I give; neither am I ignorant of what you Ask: Take therefore the City, and be silent, for where you request only like Biancius, I grant as Alexander. The most Serene Queen Cleopatra, though she were to be blamed for the looseness of her Life, yet the generosity of her Gifts were much more commendable; for they seldom barely sufficed to relieve a Necessity, but also frequently extended to support a Noble Title. I mention these two Examples, Sir, because in return for my News of the Emperor's coming into Spain, I asked a Pot of Portugal Marmalade, and you sent me a strong Mule; in a manner that herein I might be said to represent Biancius the Egyptian, as you Alexander the Great. All that hereafter hear or read of this will praise my Modesty, where they will surely extol your Bounty, for if I have showed myself little Covetous by my Demands, you have been abundantly more Generous in your Gift. I was some time since to see your Present, and have often proved and approved of him, and find him of so good size, and so very gentle, that in my Opinion he deserves to be bestrid not only by a Mitre, but even by a Cardinal's Cap. My Servant nevertheless brings you him again, and this Letter testifies my hearty Thanks for the use of him; for though Friends may be allowed to be serviceable to one another, yet they are by no means to spur a free Horse to death; so that as you have been sufficiently generous in lending your Mule so long, I think myself no less obliged to return him as soon as I have done. True Friends are to be sparing of Words, but prodigal of good Works; and therefore I promise on the Word of a Christian, when the Emperor pays me for my Services, I'll recompense you for your Civilities. By yours you desire to know, how Messer Angelo's Wife does, and whether I have heard from her Husband since he went for Italy; and this because she is your Aunt, and he was formerly my Neighbour. But hereupon I must tell you, I have neither seen, nor intent to see her, unless she sends for me: For though we are obliged to be serviceable to Women in their Husband's absence, yet we are by no means to Visit 'em. Two things are neither to be lent nor trusted, and they are the Sword you wear, and a Wife you have Married; for in Spain a Husband looks but very awkward without either a Sword by his Side, or a Wife in his Bosom. The chaste Lucretia's Husband Colatinus being in the Camp against the Volscians, Dissolute Tarquin would needs Visit her, from whence ensued his Incensing Rome, the ruin of their Army, the Heroine's Suicide, and his own Destruction. I say this, Sir, because where we may be allowed to assist our Friends Wives with Money during their Husband's absence, and solicit any Affair for 'em when desired, we are by no means to assume a liberty of Treating and making 'em Visits; and this because the Malice of Men is diligent, as the Honour of Women nice: therefore we must take more than ordinary care, we neither give their Neighbour's cause of suspicion, nor Husbands of Jealousy. As to what you farther desire, I will speak to the Lord Chancellor with all my Heart, and if he does not happen to comply with your expectations, you shall soon have an account. A Man that has to do with the Court must neither want Patience, nor abound with Assurance, for there an Ounce of Fortune is always worth more than a Hundred weight of Desert. We see every day here Matters of greatest Right overruled, when such as have the least pretence shall be almost sure to succeed, in a manner, that at Court we are not to Hope upon any Merit, nor Despair upon any Defect. I would not have you think, I say, this to be excused from serving you, but rather that you may not be disturbed when disappointed, nor concerned if your Business goes amiss; for where Matters of Honour require the greatest Grief, our Estate may be prejudiced with more indifference. No more, but God preserve you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Burgos, jan. 30▪ 1523.   

LETTER X. To Don Hernando de Toledo; Concerning what the Egyptians were wont to do for their Dead Friends.  
Magnificent and Discreet SIR,  
IF my Answer to yours be short, impute the fault wholly to my Cursed Gout, which as it suffers me neither to Walk nor Sleep, has also absolutely deprived me of the Use of my Fingers; nay more, has left me nothing sound in my Body, except my Heart, wherewith I Sigh, and my Tongue, with which I Complain. Our common Compliment to one another when we meet, is, How do you do? How do you find yourself? How have you done a great while? and the like; all which are highly commendable, and never to be forgot; for he that has a Real to spend, and Health to enjoy, has neither cause to be afflicted, nor reason to be offended. Your noble Brother my Lord Duke of Alva, came the other day to visit me, and afterwards sent me a precious Ointment, for which I pray God both to preserve his Person and Enlarge his Fortune, since his Unction gave me a great deal of Ease, and his Presence afforded me no less Comfort. Sir, I give you abundance of Thanks for the Letter you sent, and the Money you ordered me: although it be true that where you designed it to buy Books, the greater part must be expended on Doctors and Apothecaries. Moreover, your Bounty has been so very liberal upon this Occasion, that you have not only enabled me to pay my Debts, and cure my Ailments, but also furnished me wherewithal to regale myself when well; wherefore I cannot but Promise, that in me your Family shall never want a faithful Friend, nor your Virtues a loud Herald. You say, Sir, that having heard me Preach the other day before the Emperor in his Chapel; You now desire I would repeat with my Pen what I then uttered with my Tongue, which I will endeavour to comply with, though it be both contrary to my custom, and repugnant to my inclination. The Text was in the 19th of Leviticus, the 27th and 28th Verses; where God Commands the Israelites neither to round the corners of their Heads, nor Mar the Points of their Beards: To make any Cuttings in their Flesh, nor Print any Marks upon it on account of the Dead. For the clearing of which Command, it is to be understood, the Children of Israel lived so long in Egypt, that they contracted m●ny ill Habits from those People, who were all naturally Negromancers, Magicians, Wizards, and A●t●ologers. Of all Nations none we read of made so much ado about their Dead as the Egyptians, who whenever a Friend died, always showed h●m far more respect than while he lived; insomuch that if a Father lost a Son, a Son a Father, or one Friend was deprived of another, they used to shave off half their Hair as a Hieroglyphic, to demonstrate they had parted with half of themselves. And therefore 'twas God commanded the Israelites neither to shave their Heads, nor mar their Beards, and this, that they might not become like the Egyptians. Also the Egyptian Women, when their Husbands, Children, or Relations died, were wont to tear their Flesh, and flaw their Faces with their Nails; and therefore 'twas God forbid his People disfiguring themselves, that they might not be like to them. Likewise the lesser Priests at the Funerals of the greater, were accustomed to mark their Flesh with red hot Irons, either on their Hands, Arms, or Breasts; to the end that whenever they beheld those Scars, they might immediately be disposed to lament their Loss. In like m●nner they had a Custom, that whenever a King or Prince died, all his Officers were instantly obliged to lash themselves with Knives' in some visible part of their Body; insomuch t●at he who was observed to have most Wounds, was always looked upon to b● the greatest Mourner. And hence it is, that God forbade the Israelites both Marking and Cutting their Flesh; all which Ceremonies being i● themselves superstitious, and no doubt invented by the Devil, for that they were not only a damage to the Living, but also no advantage to the Dead. God's Prohibiting these and many things more in the old Law, such as, Not to Blow with an Ox and an Ass; Not to Sow Wheat or Barley in the same Ground; Not to Couple an Ass and a Mare; Not to Wear Linen and Woollen; and the like; let no Man think were frivolous and trifling, but on the contrary highly Mysterious; for these Ceremonies being customary among the Egyptians, God would by no means have his People to make use of 'em. Nevertheless we must not hereby understand, that he forbade 'em lamenting their Dead after another manner; since shaving their Heads, flawing their Faces, marking their Limbs, and wounding their Bodies, was wholly in their Power to do, or let alone; when a Decent Sorrow for the loss of a Friend was not possible to be avoided. As a Man is to be known by his Heart, so God made him with a Heart, that is, gave him liberty to be sad, and forbade him not to Complain; the Heart of Man being in itself tender, and not able to part with any thing it loves without Concern. Moreover Experience teaches us every day, even in Brutes, that take away one, and the other will be sure to mourn; which is demonstrable in that the Lion roars, Wolf howls, Cow lows, Sheep bleats, Hog grunts, Dog Barks, and Cat Mews, either for the absence or death of their Companions or Young: We being therefore of a far superior condition, why may not we be allowed to shed Tears, and lament over the Graves of our Friends? Mimus the Philosopher was wont to say, A Man died as often as he saw his Friend buried; which was true, in that being but one while they lived, it is just they should continue the same when one died. This, Sir, is what I preached to his Majesty in his Chapel, which, if inferior to what I then uttered, I hope you'll excuse on account of my Gout; for if I have not now the use of my Hands to Eat, how can it be expected I should take any great pleasure to Write. No more, but God Bless you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Burgos, March 6. 1523.   

LETTER XI. To Dr. Colonel, his familiar Friend; in Answer to some Demands.  
Good DOCTOR,  
YOur Servant brought me Orders lately to take care of your Business with the Chancellor, which I immediately set about, and have so far succeeded in, that he professes himself ready to do any thing for your Good, as I to continue always the same Zeal for your Service. The rest of your Letter I will Answer briefly and succinctly as possible. According to desire I was to wait on Captain Cerrato, to make Interest for your Nephew to be his Servant, but found him so cold both in once and twice going, that I had no farther mind to occasion his Affronts, For Faciem frigois ejus quis sustinebit? Who is able to endure the Indifference of his Looks? Generous Minds and Bashful Countenances resent a Denial much more, where the Person deserves not to be asked, than when they themselves pretend not to merit his Consent; since he may boast of the Honour, where they must blush with the Shame. Nothing is dearer bought than what a Man must beg for, since he gives more that wrecks his Modesty but for a minuit, than that purchases any thing with his whole Estate. As great, said the Divine Plato, as is the Satisfaction in Giving, so extraordinary is the Torture we endure in Ask; for where we give, we purchase fewer Liberty; and when receive, lose our own. The Books you left I have got bound, but the Money you sent for that purpose I herewith return you; and my reason is, because a Friend's Charge or Trouble must never be otherwise gratified than by his Correspondent's Acceptance. Friendship founded upon Interest, commonly ends with want; When among true Friends there is neither bounds to be put to their Service, nor limits to their Expense: Your sending the Three and twenty Reals gives me occasion to think, that either your Fraternal Affection fails, or, that you believe my Liberality lessens. You write me word, you desire to know how the Affair goes between me and the Abbot of Compludo; to which I answer, that it is no common Vexation to have to do with such as can never hold their peace, nor ever be at quiet. Men who are loose in their Tongues, and turbulent in their Lives, for the most part ruin the Country where they reside, and torment themselves into the Bargain. Nothing equals a Man's torturing himself; for where we cannot live easy in this World, we may at worst live satisfied. I say this, Sir, because our Lord Abbot in this Affair behaves himself something like a wild Colt, that stands still to be loaded, and kicks when his Burden is off. There are a sort of Men that are not only ignorant how to avoid troubles, but also run in the very Mouths of 'em. There are many likewise require more care to keep at rest, than would be necessary to make others work. As to what you say, Sir, of Francis Mercado, I have no more to answer, than that where he lost his Person, Family and Estate, we in him are deprived both of a sweet Conversation and obliging Behaviour. Also, that I believe we are more concerned for his Worth, than he for his Loss: And were it now in my power to Relieve him, as it was formerly my Charge to Advise him, I would soon make him as sensible of my Friendship as I am, without him, of my solitude. As to what you farther require, I intent next opportunity to convince you, that it is neither in your Power to Write, nor Ask any thing in vain. No more, but God keep you, and preserve me.  
Medina, May 8. 1523.   

LETTER XII. To Don Pedro Giron; in which the Author gives some hints of the Ancients manner of Writing; but Chiefly consisting of jocular Reflections on a bad Scribe.  
SIR,  
VIlloria, your Servant and Solicitor, gave me a Letter of yours, here in Burgos, Writ at Ossuna the 14th of August, which though it was dispatched in that Month, came not hither till the 15th of November; so that I find your Letters are so Discreet and Provident, as to see the Harvest in, and Vintage over, before they set out. But were it hung Beef, as it was a Letter, it had had time sufficient to be well seasoned, and leisure enough to hang in the Smoke. Hereafter, do not suffer the Letters you are to send, and the Daughters you are to Marry to grow stale; for in my Country we keep nothing so, but the Bacon we are to Eat, and the Wine we are to Drink. Much shorter way is it between Ossuna and Burgos, than Rome and Constantinople; and yet the Emperor Augustus ordered all his Lieutenants in the East, that if they did not, within Twenty Days from the Date, receive his Letters, they should afterwards take no notice of them; giving for reason, that during that interval something else might intervene, which might wholly require things to be otherwise disposed. Tiberius also, unless his Dispatches from Asia came in Twenty; from Euro●e in Fifteen; from afric in Ten; from the Coast of Illrium in Five; and from all parts of Italy in three days, would neither Read, nor give any Credit to 'em. From henceforward therefore, you must agree with your Letters beforehand, that they make more haste, or they will never be received at the Emperor's Court; for to deal Ingeniously with you, had they been Timber of the Woods of Soria, as they were Epistles from Ossuna, I will answer for it, they had been so well seasoned before they came hither, they had been fit for nothing but Doors and Window-shutters. Tho' I receive many Letters together, I presently know yours from all the rest, and that, because they are always rumpled like a Rag, r●sty as Bacon, Moth eaten like Cloth, and Sweaty as an old Waistcoat; and what is yet more, there needs no strength nor force to tear them in opening, because the Seals are already loose, and Wax generally broken. Philostratus in the life of Apollonius Thianeus, says, it was a custom among the Ypimeans to date their Letters on the outside, by the Superscription, to the end, that if they were fresh, they should be Read; but if stale, be Torn. Nay, were you an Ypimean, as you are a Christian, you might be assured, of a Hundred Letters you Write, Ninety Eight would be torn to pieces; nay, I question also whether the other two would be Read. But being granted your Letter was stale, can we say the Hand was either good or legible? No, so far from that, I swear per Sacra numina, it rather looked like Mosaic work than any Gentleman's Writing; so that if the Tutor who had the care of your Youth, had not better instructed you how to Live, than your Master to Write, your Life had been as offensive to God, as your Writing was to me; For I must tell you plainly, if you do not know it already; much rather had I uncipher Characters than Read your Letters. Writing was first invented and improved by degrees; for, as Strabo De situ Orbis, has it, Men first writ upon Ashes, then on Barks of Trees, then upon Stones, Laurel-leaves, Sheets of Lead, Vellum, and last of all upon Paper. It is also to be observed, that in Stone they writ with Steel, on Leaves with Pencils, on Ashes with their Fingers, on Barks with pointed Knives, on Vellum with Reeds, and on Paper with Pens. The first Ink used by the Ancients was taken out a Fish called Xibia; afterwards they made it of Mulberries, then of Soot, then of Vermilion, then of Verdegris; and lastl●, of Gum, Galls, Copperass and Wine. Sir, I have mentioned these Antiquities, the better to consider whether your Epistle was writ with Knife, Steel-Bodkin, Reed, or Finger; for being so unintelligible I'm certain could neither be with a Pen nor Pencil. Moreover, Sir, the perfections of your Letter were, that the Paper was course, Ink white, Lines awry, Letters confused, and Words blotted; so that either you writ it by Moon light, or else some Child that goes to School did for you. Well, but tho' the Letter was Stale, Open, Sweaty, Torn, and Blotted; Yet it would have been the more tolerable, had it been short, but on the contrary, it was so far from that, there were above two Sheets and half close Writ; so that when I unfolded and looked upon it, I took it rather for a Bill in Chancery preferred against me, than a Letter writ to me. I cannot conceive to what purpose your Letters are Closed and Sealed; for to deal freely, I look upon 'em much safer open, than your Money locked up. I gave your Epistle to Peter Colonel, thinking it might be Hebrew; to Signior Prexamo, to know whether it was Chaldea; to Hamet Abducarin, to be informed if it was Arabic; to a Sicilian, to see whether he could make Greek of it; to Signior Alaya, to tell me whether it contained any Figures of Astrology; and, in fine, I showed it to Germans, Flemings, English, Scotch, and French; who all agreed it was either a jest put upon me, or else it had been Enchanted. Most People affirming, it was certainly possessed; I resolved presently to send it to the great Necromancer johannes Barbota, desiring him either to Read, or Exorcise it: but he answered, he had conjured and put it into a Circle, yet all he could find by his Art was, there were no Spirits in the Letter; but rather, that he who Writ it was bewitched. By the Love I bear you, and Obligations I owe you, I beg for the future you would either mend your Hand, or keep Intelligence with this Learned Necromancer; otherwise your Letters will pass as undefiled out of my Hands as Potiphar's Wife did from joseph, Sarah from Abimelech, the Shunamite from David, the Carthaginian Lady from Scipio, Phocius his Wife from Dionysius, Darius his Daughter from Alexander, and Queen Cleopatra from Augustus: In fine, Sir, I must tell you, that either I know not how to read, or you how to write. Had the Letter King David sent his General joab, concerning the Death of Uriah and Adultery of his Wife, been writ in this Hand, the King had saved the Sin, and Innocent Uriah his Life. Had the Articles between Escaurus and his Accomplices, in the Conspiracy of Catiline, been so ill writ as your Letter, neither had they been put to Death, nor so infamous a War begun in Rome. Would to God you had been Secretary to Manicheus, Arrius, Nestorius, Sipontinus, Marius, Ebius, nay, to Luther, and all the other Heretics that have been in the World; for than though they had forced you to write their accursed Heresies, neither we, nor any body else could have understood 'em. All ancient Authors severely reprove Pliny in his Natural History, Clebius in his Astrology, Pitus in his Philosophy, Cleander in his Arithmetic, Stilpon in his Morals, and Codrus in his Politics; for that they all writ many things easy to read, but very difficult to apprehend. But, Sir, you may very well List among these Excellent Men, and enter a Member of their Society; for as their Writings are not to be understood, it were impossible yours should ever be read. I often reflect and consider how most things in use amongst us, in process of time, have been renewed or amended, except the Alphabet only, which since its first institution was never yet either increased or corrected. The Alphabet contains Four and twenty Letters, eighteen whereof were invented by Nestor, and the other six by the General Diomedes, at the Siege of Troy; and it is worth observing, that neither the Eloquence of the Greeks, nor Curiosity of the Romans; the Gravity of the Egyptians, nor Wisdom of the Philosophers, could ever find out any Letter to add, or so much as alter; but, that though all Nations differ in other things, yet their Alphabet continues still the same. As Columbus, Ferdinando Cortes, Pedrarias, and Pizarro, have in India discovered a new World to inhabit, so you, perhaps, may have found out a new Alphabet to write by; yet I fear none will go to your School to read, if your Doctrine be no better writ than your Letters. I am satisfied your Cloth will never fell well by that Pattern. I'll say no more as to your Letter, only desire, that the next time you write you will take this for a Copy, and not let yours grow mouldy; and moreover, that you will be pleased to mend your Hand, for I have learned long since to read, but never yet to divine. It has come into my thoughts, that perhaps you purposely sent this Letter out of waggery, to provoke me to answer after the same manner; if that were your design, you might well be assured, that such as you sowed, you should not fail to reap. There is little worth Writing from this Court, but rather much to rail at. The greatest News at present is, that the Emperor has conferred Titles of Dukes, Marquesses, Earls, and Viscounts, on many of his Subjects, of great Desert, as well for their Personal Merits, as antiquity of their Families. But if you would know what Revenues they enjoy, or Lands possess, I dare not meddle in it; for certainly some of their Estates are so very small, that did they belong to the Friars of St. Hierome, they would undoubtedly Wall 'em in. Roderigo Giron, your Kinsman, and my very good Friend, desired me in his own Name, and commanded me in yours, to speak to Signior Antonio de Fonseca, about a stop that was put to some Payments: I did it as became your Authority and my Fidelity; what is since become of that business, I know not: but this I can assure you, that if he is as intent upon getting your Order, as he has been in playing away his own Money, you will be as well dispatched by the Tellers, as he was the other night by the Gamesters; for, as one of them told me, Roderigo Giron lost the very Cap off his Head, and Spurs from his Heels. My Blessing on the Man that takes so much after his Parents, and follows the footsteps of his Family; for as I well remember I knew his Father, when Alcayde of Montauches, often keep his Bed; not that he was Sick, but because at Madrid he had Gamed and lost all he had. God preserve you, and give me Grace to serve him.  
Burgos, Sept. 15, 1523.   

LETTER XIII. To Don Alonso Manriquez, Archbishop of Sevill, and Don Antonio Manriquez, Duke of Najara; upon their choosing him to Decide a Controversy between them: Wherein he wittily exposes their Ignorance, declares which was Numantia, and which Saguntum; and moreover relates both the Origin, and Destruction of the Former.  
Very Illustrious Lords,  
DON john Manriquez delivered me two, different Letters from your Lordships, whereby you give me to understand you have chosen me Judge in a Controversy between you; and which you have not only argued yourselves, but also stiffly maintained on both sides. My Lords, I admit your choice, and will be Arbitrator in your Dispute, upon condition neither appeal from my Judgement, but shall pay Costs and a Fine. In the first place I must blame, and almost chide your Illustrious Lordships for being so positive and obstinate in your way of arguing; for where Persons of your Rank may be allowed to Discourse, they are by no means to Wrangle. Gentility and Wrangling are incompatible in a generous Person, when Folly and Positiveness are nearly allied. To a Philosopher it belongs to prove, and even to be obstinate in his Assertions; but a Gentleman must always defend without being positive A Man of Courage, Resolution, and Valour, will never be passionate till he draws his Sword; for he well knows, that a great Talker seldom proves a brave Performer. But to come to our purpose; you write, that all your Dispute was about deciding, whether of these two Cities, Siguenza or Monviedro, was the great Numantia. You also inform me, you have not only argued, but laid a good Wager about it; whereupon, My Lords, I must tell you, with due Reverence to so great Personages, that if one understands no better what belongs to Praying, and the other to Fight, than you are both acquainted with ancient Histories, it is pity as one is Archbishop of Sevill, the other should be Duke of Najara. As much difference as was between Elia and Tyre, Byzantium and Memphis, Rome and Carthage, Agrippina and Cadiz, is there between Numantia and Saguntum; for the ancient Numantia was built in Castille, when the noble Saguntum was seated near Valencia. Numantia and Saguntum were two most ancient Cities in Spain, very famous and renowned; of different Factions, distinct Kingdoms, in Places far distant, disagreeing in Names, and far more different in Inclinations. Saguntum was built by the Greeks, Numantia by the Romans; Saguntum was always in Amity and Confederacy with Rome, and moreover a Mortal Enemy to the Carthaginians; when Numantia was neither Friend nor Confederate with either, it never submitting to any, but always continued a Sovereignty of itself. Saguntum was seated four Leagues from Valencia, where Monviedro now stands; and whoeuér says the Town of Siguenza in Castille was formerly Saguntum, may, perhaps, have Dreamt, but never Read it. Being Inquisitor at Valencia, I went often to Monviedro, as well to visit the Christians there, as Baptise the Moors; and considering the uncouthness of its situation, antiquity of the Walls, distance from the Sea, the grandeur of its Buildings, and stangeness of the Tombs, any Man might easily perceive Monviedro was the same with Saguntum, and the Noble Saguntum what is now Monviedro. Among the ruinated Buildings in the Fields of that City, are found many Stones with Inscriptions and Epitaphs of the Hannonians and Asdrubalians, who all died at the Siege thereof, and which were two famous and renowned Families in Carthage. Near Monviedro also was a Town in those days called Turdetani, now Torrestorres, whose Inhabitants being Mortal Enemies to the Saguntians, Hannibal joined with 'em, and by their assistance besieged, reduced, and burned Saguntum to Ashes; which was neither then offered to be relieved by the Romans, nor ever after rebuilt. Thus it is plain, My Lords, your Dispute was about which was Saguntum, and not which Numantia; for Soria and Zamora contest for Numantia, whilst Monviedro and Siguenza lay claim to Saguntum. To conclude then, and draw an inference from what has been said, after considering the Merits of your Cause, and hearing what each has alleged for himself; I pronounce and declare, for my definitive Sentence, that as the Archbishop of Sevill was not in the right, so the Duke of Najara was in the wrong: and therefore adjudge each of them to forfeit a good strong Mule for the use of him who shall make appear which was the great Numantia, who the Founder, in what place, and after what manner built, how long it stood, and how came to be destroyed; And all this because it is an Antiquity pleasing to read, worthy to be known, grateful to relate, though exceeding grievous to hear.  

Of the Great City, Numantia, in Spain.  
The Great Numantia was founded by Numa Pompilius, second King of the Romans, in the Eight and fiftieth year after the building of Rome, and Eighteenth of his Reign; so that from Numa, the Founder, it undoubtedly took its Nomination. It was an usual thing in those times for Founders to give their own Names to the Cities they built; so Jerusalem took hers from Salem, Antiochia from Antiochus, Constantinople from Constantine, Alexandria from Alexander, Rome from Romulus, and Numantia from Numa. Rome had but Seven Kings, whereof the first was Romulus, and last Tarquin; but the best of all the Seven was this Numa Pompilius, he being the first that introduced Religion into Rome, enclosed the Vestals, built Temples, and gave Laws to his Subjects. The Seat of this City was near the Banks of the River Duero, and not far from the Springs thereof, on an Eminence, not mountainous, but little raised: It had no Towers nor Walls, but only a very deep and broad Ditch to surround it: The Inhabitants whereof being about 5 and 6000, two parts of which were employed in War, and the third Tilled the Ground: To be always in action was accounted with them very commendable, and idleness and laziness as much condemned; and, what is yet more Praiseworthy, they were not covetous of Riches, but extremely ambitious of Honour. The Numantians naturally were rather Phlegmatic than Choleric, Patient, Subtle, Crafty, and given to Dissimulation; so that what at one time they connived at, the same they revenged at another. In this City there was but one Tradesman, and he was the Farrier; for Goldsmiths, Drapers, Brokers, Fruiterers, Innkeepers, Fishmongers, Bakers, Butchers, and the like, were not permitted to live among them, saying, every one ought to furnish himself with those Necessaries, and not be beholding to another. They were so resolute and desperate in Battle, they never turned their Backs, or ever gave ground, being always resolved rather to die than fly: They were not permitted to go to War without leave of their Government, and such as went must serve all together on one side; for where one Numantian happened to kill another, he was infallibly put to death when he came home. The Romans accounted four sorts of People in Spain hard to Subdue, viz. The Meridones of Merida, the Gaditani of Cadiz, the Saguntini of Monviedro, and Numantians, being those of Soria. The difference between which was, that the Meridones were hardy, Gaditani resolute, Saguntini fortunate, but the Numantians both hardy, resolute, and fortunate all together. None of the Roman Generals who waged War in Spain for a Hundred and eighty years, could ever subdue the Numantians, or so much as cared to fall out with them. Of all the Cities in the Worlds, this only never acknowledged Superior, nor admitted Lord. Numantia stood somewhat high, and was but half fortified, had no Towers, was not very populous, and had no riches, yet none durst make her their Enemy; but all rather chose her for their Friend: and the reason was, because the Fortune of the Numantians was still superior to the Power or Policy ôf the Romans. During the Wars between Rome and Carthage, and the Factions of Rome among themselves, there was no King or Kingdom but engaged on one side or other, except the haughty Numantia only; which always answered those that solicited her Assistance, That she was not to be made a Party under any Head, but rather they to follow her as Supreme. In the first Punick Wars the Numantians could never be brought to follow the Carthaginians, or assist the Romans; for which reason, or rather without any, the Romans resolved to make War upon Numantia, and that not through any fear of their Power, but mere envy of their Fortune. The Romans besieged Numantia the space of Fourteen years without intermission, during which the Numantians sustained great damage, and the Romans lost several brave Commanders; such as Caius Crispus, Trebellius, Pindarus, Rufus, Venustus, Escaurus, Paulus Pilius, Cincinnatus and Drusus, Nine Consuls of very great Note, as also Experienced Generals. These Nine, and many other Romans being slain, it happened the Twelfth year after this Siege, that Anneus Fabricius, a Roman General, concluded a League and Amity with 'em; and agreed upon a Truce till the Articles could be Ratified from Rome: But the Senate perceiving this Capitulation tended altogether to the Honour of their Enemies, and was a perpetual Disgrace to them, caused the Prudent Consul to be immediately put to Death, and the War as instantly continued. The next year, which was the Thirteenth of the Siege, they sent Scipio their Consul, with a fresh Army against Numantia. The first thing he did was to banish the Camp all useless Men, and debauched Women; saying, That Pleasures allowed, are more dangerous to a great Army, than known Enemies. Scipio besieged this City a year and seven months; in all which time he never gave any assault, or made the least attack, but only busied himself to cut off their Relief and Provisions. One of Scipio's Officers one day ask him, Why he never attacked them within the Town, nor fell upon those that came out, he answered, Numantia is so fortunate, and the Numantians so very successful, that we may well hope to tyre out, but must never expect to conquer their Fortune. The Numantians made frequent Sallies on the new-come Romans, and one day, of all the rest, the Fight continued so long and bloody, it might well have been termed a pitched Battle; and the Romans were so hard put to it, that had not the Fortune and Conduct of Scipio been on their side, that day the Glory and Power of Rome had undoubtedly ended in Spain. Scipio therefore perceiving the Numantians grew bold, and the Romans slackened, drew back about a mile and half from the Town, to the end that he might not be so subject to surprise; so that the distance being greater, he might thereby receive the less damage. The Numantians thus having lost many of their Men, and Provisions growing short, at length unanimously made a Vow to their Gods, never to break Fast unless on Roman Flesh; nor drink Wine or Water, till they had tasted of their Blood. It was monstrous then to see, as it is still to hear, how they every day sallied to hunt Romans, as if they had been going to shoot Rabbits; and how they did afterwards as savourily eat and drink their Flesh and Blood, as if it had been Beef or Mutton. Then it was the Consul Scipio daily sustained very great Losses, for besides that the Numantians preyed on the Romans like Wild Beasts, they likewise fought no longer like Enemies, but as Men in despair. No Numantian ever gave Roman Quarter, nor so much as suffered 'em to be Buried, but as soon as any were killed, they immediately carried 'em where they were flayed, quartered, and weighed out in the Market; so that with them, a Dead Roman was then more worth than a Live one. Scipio was often persuaded, entreated and importuned by his Officers, to raise the Siege and return home; but he was always so far from consenting, that he would not so much as endure to hear it proposed: And this, because, as he came from Rome, a Priest had bid him not be discouraged or desist, tho' he should run great hazards; for that the Gods had decreed, the end of the fortunate Numantia should be the beginning of his Glory.   

How Scipio took Numantia.  
Scipio perceiving he could neither gain the Numantians by fair means, nor subdue 'em by force, caused a vast Trench to be made round the Town, which was seven Fathom deep, and five in breadth; so that no Relief could possibly come to 'em, neither could they make any Sallies. He often courted 'em to try the Clemency of the Romans, and rely upon his Word; But they always answered, That having lived free Three Hundred Thirty three Years, they were resolved not to die Slaves. The Clamours of the Women in the City were sent up to Heaven, the Priests called upon their Gods, and all the Men cried out to the Consul Scipio, to suffer them to come out and fight like Men, and not to be shut up and starved like Beasts. Also the more to move him, they said, Is it becoming you, O Noble Scipio, who are a Roman Youth, Brave and Resolute, to keep us here penned up like Sheep, which is only a Stratagem of Policy; when it would rather redound to your immortal Glory, if you let us come out, and overcame us in Fight? When the Numantians saw themselves thus miserably enclosed, and their Provisions daily consuming, The ablest among 'em met and Killed all the old Men, Women and Children; then gathered the Wealth of the Town and Temples into one great heap in the Marketplace, and having themselves first taken Poison, immediately fired every corner of the City; so that the Riches, Houses, Temples, and Inhabitants, of Numantia perished altogether in one Day. Prodigious were the Actions of the Numantians in their Lives, and no less wonderful at their Deaths; for they left not Scipio any Riches to Plunder, nor so much as a Man or Woman to Triumph over. During all the time this Famous City was Besieged, no Numantian was ever made Prisoner by the Romans, for they all chose rather to die than take quarter. Now when Scipio saw the City on Fire, and entering it, found all the Inhabitants Dead and Burnt, he was very sensibly grieved, and the Tears falling fast from his Eyes, he said, O happy Numantia, which the Gods have indeed suffered to Perish, but never to be overcome! The Prosperity of Numantia lasted 466 Years, for that was the interval between the building of it by Numa Pompilius, and its destruction by the great Scipio Africanus. In these Ages there were Three Cities that gave most trouble to the Romans; Elia in Asia; Carthage in afric; and Numantia in Europe: All which were at length totally subverted, but never Conquered by them. Prince jugurtha being then but Twenty two Years of Age, came out of afric to the assistance of Scipio, and behaved himself with so great Bravery, that he was extremely valued by the Consul, and afterwards highly honoured at Rome. All who have writ of this Siege, say, the Romans never sustained greater losses, had so many Men destroyed, spent so much Money, nor suffered so great disgrace as there; and the reason they gave was, because their other Wars were always grounded upon some wrong received; when this against Numantia, was merely raised through envy. To say the City Zamora was ever Numantia is both false and ridiculous, for unless all Histories deceive us from the building of Numantia, till Zamora was founded, there were 733 Years. Did Pliny, Pomponius, Ptolemy and Strabo say, that Numantia was near the River Duero; it would be dubious whether Soria or Zamora were it: But on the contrary these Authors affirm, it was built near the Springs of Duero; whence may be concluded, that Zamora being Thirty Leagues from these Springs, and Soria but Five, it must be Soria and not Zamora. Yet there are three different opinions concerning its Situation; some saying it stood where Soria does now; others, that it was on the other side of the River on a Hill; and others, that it was a League from thence, where is now a Town called Garray. And in my Judgement, by what I have seen of the three places, this last is the most probable Assertion, many pieces of Antiquity being there found, and many Ruins of Stately buildings there to be seen. Those who have writ concerning Numantia, are, Pliny, Strabo, Ptolemy, Trogus Pompeius, Pollio, Trebellius, Vulpitius, Isidorus, justin, and Marcus Ancius.    

LETTER XIV. To Don Alonso de Albornoz; showing it sign of ill breeding not to answer a Letter; Also laying down the dangers of Matrimony; and likewise, containing some pleasant News from Court: The whole embellished with biting Railleries', and serious Reflections.  
SIR,  
IF the Lady Donna Maria, to whom you are contracted, admires your Person as much as I blame your laziness, you may safely Marry without danger of repenting; and yet I think I am not a little bold, when I say, you will not repent Marrying, for in Truth, I could wish I were as sincerely sorrowful for my Sins, as some are penitent after entering into that State. To Marry a Woman is very easy, but to hold out to the last, in my opinion, very difficult, and from thence it comes, that those who Mary for Love, commonly live in Sorrow: For considering the frequent distastes that happen in a Family; the burden of the Wife, care of Children, wants of the House, charge of Servants, importunities of Relations, and adoration which Fathers-in-Law commonly expect; if all these things will not oblige a Married Man to repent, at least, I'm sure they must needs tyre him. The Philosopher Mirtus being asked Why he did not Marry? Answered, Because, when I take a Wife, if she be good, I shall not care to lose her; if bad, must endure her; if poor, maintain her; if rich, bear with her; if ugly, shall hate her; and if beautiful, must watch her: But what is yet worst of all, I must then resign my liberty to one that will never thank me for it. Riches produce Care, Poverty Afflictions, the Sea Dangers, Eating too much Surfeits, and Travels Weariness. But nevertheless, these Troubles are divided among many, when Married people have them altogether; for the Married Man is commonly full of Care, Sad, Weary, Surfeited, nay, and Frighted to Boot; I say, Frighted at the imagination of what may befall him, or his Wife attempt. He who meets with a Wife that is Foolish, Wild, Talkative, Loose, Liquorish, Mutinous, Lazy, given to Ramble, Incorrigible, Jealous, Imperious or Lewd; that Wretch had much better been a Slave to a good Man, than Husband to such a Woman. It is hard, 'tis true, to humour some Men, but much more difficult to know any Woman; The reason is, because they have neither measure in their Love, nor bounds in their H●te. I will not, perhaps I dare not, say more as to this particular; for should I set about it and let my Pen run at liberty, I might want time, but never matter to write upon. It is not without cause I have said I was offended at your laziness; for it is now about half a year since I writ to you, and yet you never answered me one line, and john de Ocana came afterwards, and then you did not write; so that on the one hand you may well be termed Lazy, and on the other negligent. Take it for a Rule, never to neglect answering him that took the pains to write to you; for to answer our Superiors is an act of necessity, our equals, demonstration of good will; but to write to our Inferiors is no ordinary Virtue. Alexander the Great was wont to write to Pulio his Farrier; julius Caesar to Rufus his Gardener; Augustus to Pamplilus his Smith; Tiberius to Scaurus his Miller; Tullius to Myrrhus his Tailor; and Seneca to Gyphus his Bailie; whence we may infer, it is no disgrace either to write to, or answer mean Persons. Paulus Emilius writing to his Ploughman, uses these Words, I received your Message by Argeus, and my answer is, that I send you an Ox to Yoke with the other, and the Cart new mended; therefore Blow the Land well, Prune the Vine handsomely, clear the Trees from Caterpillars, and always remember the Goddess Ceres▪ Curius Dentatus being in the Army against Pyrrhus' King of Epirus, writ to a Carpenter after this manner; Cneius Patroclus told me you were at work on my House; take care the Timber be well seasoned, make the lights towards the South, let not the Roof be high, but Rooms light, the Bath close, and Chimney not smoky; make two Windows, and but one Door. Alexander the Great writing to his Farrier, said, I sent you a Horse that was presented me by the Athenians; he and I were Wounded in the same Fight; walk him well every day, dress his Wound carefully, pair his Feet sparingly, and have a care of nailing him; slit his Nostrils, wash his Tail, and let him not grow over fat; for no Horse that is foul can endure me in the Field. We read of the famous Tyrant Phalaris, that never Man did him service which he did not requite, nor sent him Letter which he did not answer. Historians do not relate as a Reflection upon 'em, that these great and Renowned Princes writ to such mean and inconsiderate Persons, but rather as a thing commendable and meriting praise. In this and all other cases, you may make bold with me as with your own self; but, if you persevere in the same practice towards others, perhaps, as Friends will only blame your neglect, strangers may accuse you of Arrogance. Caesar wanted no Valour, since he overcame so many Nations; no Clemency, since he forgave so many Enemies; no Generosity, since he gave whole Kingdoms; no Learning, since he writ so many Books; nor did he want fortune, since he became Lord of all: But still he had need of good manners, which is the surest foundation of a quiet life. For it being a custom among the Romans, when the Senators came into their Emperor's presence, that they should make profound Reverence, and he to return the like civility; Caesar either wilfully or carelessly omitting so to do, within few days was stabbed in three and Twenty places; so that great Man lost his Life only for want of a little breeding. Suetonius relates the contrary of Augustus, who, when he was either in the Senate or Amphitheatre, never sat down till they were all seated, and still showed them the same respect they did him; and whenever his Sons came among them, he neither suffered them to sit down nor the Senators to rise up. Sir, if for the future you will avoid being esteemed arrogant, or rather mad, behave yourself civilly; for, good manners more than any thing else, win the hearts of Enemies, and preserve the good will of Friends. I have spoke to the Pope's Nuncio about the dispensation you writ for, in order to Marry Donna Maria, which is agreed upon for 60 Ducats; but he being a Venetian and no Fool, expects to be paid before your business ●hall be dispatched. I spoke also to Perianez, concerning expediting the immunity of your Estate; but he being extremely Deaf I was forced to raise my voice higher than I use do when I Preach. The present News at Court is, that the Empress desires the Emperor to return speedily; The Ladies would fain all be Married; Men that have business would have it quickly dispatched; The Duke of Vejar has a great mind to Live; Antonio de Fonseca would needs grow young again; Don Roderigo de Borja would willingly inherit; and Friar Dionysius as hastily be a Bishop; when, for my own part, I have all the qualifications of a Litigious Miscreant; for I am busy, full of care, thoughtful Monyless, Suspicious, Importunate, Uneasy, and quite tired out; My Lord Archbishop of Toledo and I having been a good while in Law about the Abbey of Baza, in which Affair, judgement has already been once given for me. No more, but God keep you, and give me grace to serve Him.  
Medina del Campo, March 12 1523.   

LETTER XV. To Don Diego de Camina; How all Men are subject to Envy.  
Magnificent and Right Christian SIR,  
YOU write, you are much concerned, for that many Malicious Persons have censured your Works, and lessened your Actions; and herein, I confess, you have cause of surprise, though, in my Judgement, no reason to be dissatisfied, since it is much the lesser evil your Neighbours should Envy, than Friends Pity you. The ancientest Vice in the World is Envy, the most common Envy, and it is Envy will never cease reigning while the World endures. Adam and the Serpent, Abel and Cain, jacob and Esau, joseph and his Brethren, David and Saul, job and Satan, Achitophel and Hushai, and lastly, Haman and Mordecai, did not prosecute each another on account of Riches, but merely out of Envy. The Hatred grounded on Envy is much greater than that which proceeds from some wrong done; for an injured Person is often diverted, where the Envious never leave persecuting. The Wars between the Romans and Carthaginians were much more bloody, and lasted longer than those of the Greeks and Trojans; and this, because the latter only fought to revenge the Rape of Helen, when the former strove for the Empire of Europe. The irreconcilable Enmity between Caesar and Pompey proceeded not from Injuries, but was wholly occasioned by Pompey's envying Caesar's Fortune in War; and Caesar, on the other side, Pompey's great Conduct in Matters of Government. Two sorts of Men were equally Renowned and Honoured among the Romans, who were the Dictator's that governed with Prudence, to whom they raised Statues; and the Consuls, who were successful in War: and to these they granted Triumphs; for while Rome was in its glory, no Merit passed unrewarded, nor Gild unpunished. There are but few Men subject to all sorts of Vices, and yet fewer free from all; so if any be good he is envied, and if bade he is envious; for of necessity in this World we must either persecute, or be persecuted. We can secure ourselves against a Liar by not conversing with him, a Proud Man by avoiding him, a Sluggard by not adhering to him, a Luxurious Person by not keeping him Company, a Glutton by not eating with him, a Quarrelsome Man by not contending with him, and against a Covetous Person by not dealing with him; but there's no way to fly an envious Person, nor possibility of prevailing against him: Envy is of that subtle nature, there is neither difficulty but it will surmount, nor Fence but it will break down; no Policy but it will subvert, nor Power but it will oppose; nor, in a word, is there any Man but it will assault. If in one Person could be met the Beauty of Absalon, Strength of Samson, Wisdom of Solomon, Swiftness of Azael, Riches of Croesus, Liberality of Alexander, Valour of Hector, Fortune of Caesar, Manners of Augustus, Justice of Trajan, and Eloquence of Cicero, it is most certain he could never be so highly accomplished, as he would be cruelly persecuted by Envy. Wolves follow Sheep, Crows dead Bodies, Bees Flowers, Flies Honey, Men Riches, and the Envious Person Prosperity. We naturally pity the Unfortunate, so we likewise envy the Prosperous▪ No body ever envied, but rather pitied Socrate's his being Poisoned, Eschines Banished, Croesus Hanged, Darius Ruined, Pyrrhus being Unfortunate, Catiline Infamous, and Sophonisba Unhappy. One thing whereby I discover how far the Malice of Men extends is, that where no body offers to support or lift up the Wretched▪ every one lays a Snare to make the Rich and Mighty fall. The Great and Fortunate may assure themselves, their Grandeur and Prosperity will never come up to the Envy of their Neighbours. Sir, I have put you in mind of these things, that you may not think much to pay your Quota, since you are admitted into this Fraternity of Envy. You must understand, if as yet you are ignorant, that the chief business of this Brotherhood is to bury the Living, and rake up the Dead. This Corporation is noble and great, since Heathens and Christians, absent and present, rich and poor, both the dead and living have been enroled of it. This Fraternity enjoys many great Privileges and Immunities, which are, That they meet not in Churches, but their own Houses; do not speak ill of the Poor, but Rich; do not assist, but hinder; do not give, but take; do not Pray, but Rail; do not watch their Enemies but Friends; and in fine, who have liberty continually to defame, but never to deal fairly. Though this be a troublesome Brotherhood, yet it is a sign of very ill Fortune not to be admitted of it; for it is a plain case, A Man must be very unhappy whom no body ever cared to Envy. Plutarch, in his Apothegms, speaking of the Famous Grecian General Themistocles, says, that being once asked, Why he was so Melancholy? He answered, I am Melancholy, because, being Two and twenty years of Age, I cannot think I have yet done any thing deserving Memory; since I find no Man in Athens envies me. Ancient Authors relate, the first Tyrant of Sicily was Herion, the second Celon, the third Dionysius Siracusanus, the fourth Dionysius the younger, the fifth Taxillus, the sixth Brudanus, and seventh Hermocrates, of which Seven the Sicilians, do, to this day, as heavily complain, as the Grecians formerly boasted of their Seven Wise Men. Nevertheless, the last of which Tyrants, Hermocrates, lying on his Deathbed, is recorded to have thus said to his Son; My last Words to you, Son, are, That you never be envious, but rather endeavour to perform Actions worthy to be envied. These Words did not at all savour of a Tyrant, but on the contrary expressed great Prudence; for thereby he not only charged him to be Virtuous, but also forbade him being Malicious. I told you at the beginning of this Letter, that allowing you had Provocation, yet you had not sufficient Reason to be afflicted or discouraged; for it is a much lesser evil to suffer good actions to be censured, than to forbear doing well. There is little of moment to write from hence; but only to let you know, as you have Slanderers with you, so here also are plenty of ill Tongues, insomuch, that some are so very virulent, they neither spare God, nor their King. I have twice spoke to the Cardinal of Tortosa about your Business, and if I be not mistaken, he is to the full as forgetful, as I have been all along careful. We that live at Court, content ourselves with doing what is in our power, where we cannot obtain what is in our will. God keep you, and give me Grace to serve him.  
Valladolid, Oct. 26. 1520.   

LETTER XVI. To Don John de Moncada; Describing Anger, and Extolling Patience.  
Much Esteemed and Magnificent SIR,  
IF you think I answer your Letters late, lay the blame on Palomeque, your Servant, who is lame; the Horse you gave him limps, the way is long, the Wether bad, and I am very busy, though I get little by it. But, however, if he spends much time in coming and returning, the chief reason, as I suppose, is, that he is in Love; and if so, you might well imagine, how much more intent he would be in gratifying the Affections of his Heart, than expediting the Letters in his Pocket. If you will believe me, never trust Men in love, for they do not so much care to employ themselves in carrying, as writing Letters, watching their Mistresses, serenading, climbing Walls, and gazing at Windows. I shall be obliged to answer yours more briefly, I fancy, than you expect, and yet at the same time, more largely than I can conveniently afford; being at present engaged to give my Vote at the Inquisition, Preach at Court, and Write every day the Emperor's Chronicle; so that where I abound in Business, I am very much abridged of leisure I swear, I much rather envy the time many idle Courtiers misspend, than the Riches they enjoy. But to come to the purpose, I protest on the Word of a Friend, I have been as much concerned at your Misfortunes, as if they had been my own; for as Chilo the Philosopher was wont to say, we are not only to remedy our Friends Disasters, but also to bewail 'em. Agesilaus, the Grecian, being asked, why he lamented more the loss of his Friends than death of his Children, said, I do not deplore the want of a Wife, loss of Goods, and death of Children, because they are only parts of me; but grieve the death of a Friend, as he is my other self. This, I say, Sir, because since I cannot be present to condole you, nor have power here to relieve you, I am at least resolved to write something to comfort you; for sometimes the Pen of a Friend is no less lenitive, than the Sword of an Enemy offensive. To advise you not to resent what you have so great cause to be concerned at, would give occasion for me to be thought unmannerly, as for you to be accounted Mad: Therefore my Council in this case is, that you resent as a Man, and bear like a Christian. The best remedy were to let fall wrongs of Honour, where they are done by those on whom we ought not to be revenged. If under these Misfortunes, you will rather act like a Christian, than Gentleman, you will not so much regard who offends you, as lift up your Heart to God that suffers it, and before whom you will find yourself so very criminal, that all you can endure is nothing in respect of what you have deserved. You must also consider, the Afflictions God permits to fall upon us, are not designed to destroy, but only try us; for none are enroled in his Book, but such as are fit for Sufferings; when on the contrary, none are entered on the Worldly Records, but those that are addicted to Pleasure. You desire me to describe and give a definition of Anger, to try whether by those means you can Master the indignation you have conceived. It is very requisite to know what this Passion is, and to endeavour to curb it accordingly; for in truth, oftentimes, it is much safer to put up a wrong, than revenge it. Aristides says, Anger is nothing but heat of Blood, and a commotion of the Heart. Possidonius, that it is only a short fit of Madness. Cicero, that what the Romans call Anger, the Grecians termed desire of Revenge. Eschines, that Anger is raised by steem of the Gall, and heat of the Heart. Macrobius, that there is a great deal of difference between Anger and Passion; for that Anger proceeds from Provocation, and Passion from ill Nature. Plato, that the fault did not lie so much in Anger, as the cause of it. Laertius, that when the Punishment is greater than the Crime, it is Revenge, and not Zeal of justice; but on the contrary, the Crime exceeding the Punishment, it is no more Revenge, but justice.. Plutarch says, the Privileges of Anger are not to believe Friends, to be violent in Action, have the Cheeks red, make use of the Hands, let lose the Tongue, speak Maliciously, fly out upon slight Occasions; and lastly, to hear no Reason. Solon Salaminus being asked, Who might properly be said to be in Wrath? answered, Only he who valued not losing his Friends, nor creating new Enemies. After what so many and grave Philosophers have left upon this Subject, I can only add, That it is easy to write of, no way difficult to persuade, copious to preach upon, fit to advise upon, but extremely hard to curb. We may reasonably exclaim against Vice in general, but much more may be said upon Anger; for that does not only deprive us of our Reason, but also renders us odious to all the World: To moderate Anger is a great Virtue, but to lay it quite aside is much more safe; because it is easier to resist what is evil, than totally to cast it off. At first we have power to admit, or reject many hurtful things; but having once admitted 'em, if Reason stands not our Friend, they will undoubtedly keep their ground, and plead possession Anger is of that perverse temper, that wherever we have once resigned our will, it afterwards enforces us to what we would not. We blame not those who have the administration of Government so much for being slack or severe, as showing too much Passion in their Proceedings; for though they have Authority to Punish, yet they have no Liberty to express their Anger. It is but reasonable those who transgress should be chastised, but still the Penalty must not look like revenge; for be a Man never so brutish, he is ever more sensible of Malice showed him, than of the greatest Punishment can be inflicted on him. A Lash, or Blow of a Hand or Cudgel, which all light upon the Flesh, though they smart, yet soon wear off; but an abusive Word immediately sinks into the Heart, and is scarce ever forgot. To have a power of bridling one's Anger, is not a Human, but Heroic and Divine Virtue; for certainly no Victory is so great as that which a Man obtains over himself. Socrates, the Philosopher, having lifted up his Hand to strike a Servant, held it in that posture, and cried, Because I consider I am a Philosopher, and am now angry, I do not punish thee as thou deservest. An Example worthy to be remembered, and much more to be imitated; and from whence we may infer, that whilst Anger is predominant, we must not offer to speak, much less chastise. The Lawgiver, Lycurgus, ordered those who had the Government of the Commonwealth, to condemn and punish all they found evil and pernicious: Nevertheless, they were by no means to hate Offenders, affirming, there was no Plague so destructive, as a Judge, whose Reason was drowned in Passion. Very few follow this Advice, at present, and many practise the contrary; for now a-days no body is angry with Sin, but the Sinners. It must needs be a great trouble to any who have to do with furious and impatient Men; for they are both insupportable to those that serve, and dangerous to such as are their Familiars. Now I have told you what Anger is, and the ill Consequences thereof; let us see what Remedies may be prescribed against it; for my design here is not to teach you how to be angry, but rather how to be appeased. I am of Opinion, one great Remedy against Anger were to bridle the Tongue when in a Passion, and put off Revenge till another time; for an angry Person oftentimes does, says, and threatens, what he afterwards could wish, with all his Heart, he had never thought on. We ought not immediately to importune a Man, in Passion, to forgive an Injury, but first pray him to respite his Revenge; for as long as the heat lasts, we can never expect he will Pronounce a Pardon. It is either through want of Sense, or over-diligence, we endeavour to reduce a Man in Fury to Equity and Justice; for Passion, when high, and a Heart when enraged, will neither receive Comfort, nor give ear to Reason. I do again and again, charge and advise every Man of Sense, not to be too busy with Persons in Wrath; for if they do, the best they must expect to come off with, will be either some reproachful Language, or a broken Head. Tho a Man be Friend to him that is Angry, yet it is better to let him alone, than speak or offer to assist him, for at that time he has more need of a Bridle to hold him in, than Spur to set him forward: More Art than Force is required to deal with one in Passion, for though his Anger swelled all of a sudden, he must nevertheless be appeased by degrees. Plutarch in his Commonwealth, advises the Emperor Trajan, to be patient in Sufferings, easy in Business, and calm towards Furious Men; assuring him, Time settles many things, which Prudence cannot. We have seen great Animosities between Mighty Men, which could not be reconciled or appeased by interposition of Friends, threats of Enemies, presents of Money, or multiplicity of Sufferings; and yet in process of time, when each had thought better on it, they have been made up alone among themselves: In fine, I say, that where a Man sees his Friend in Fury, he must rather throw Water to quench, than Fuel to heighten his Passion. Sir, I have stretched out this Letter much longer than either I designed or desired; but your great Sorrow and Afflictions, I must confess, made me the more free of my Pen. Endure, say nothing, take no notice, let a little time pass, and the business be somewhat forgot, and I am much mistaken if you will not see that same Fire rage in their Bowels, which they cast into your House. Solomon the Wise says, A Prudent Man has his Tongue in his Heart, when an Angry Person has his Heart in his Tongue. Agis the Grecian was wont to say, A Mad Man was troubled for what he suffered, and valued himself upon what ●e said; but ●he Wise Man was sorry for what he said, and proud of what he suffered. Now or never make use of your Learning, Prudence and Judgement; for, I'll Assure, it is no small Weakness to know how to cure others, and yet neglect to apply a Remedy to ones self. I have not forgot when my Sister Donna Francisca died at Torre Mexia, you sent me such wholesome Advice as sufficed to ease my Grief, though not wholly to eradicate the Memory of my Loss; I must now therefore put you in mind hereof, since it is but reasonable you should reap some of the Fruit you had so plentifully sowed in my Ground. I have no more, at present, as to any other particular, but that I give the same power to your Servant to Answer, as you gave him to Inform me. God Bless you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Toledo, Apr. 6. 1526.   

LETTER XVII. To the Ambassador Don Geronimo Vique; showing the ill Effects of overmuch Liberty.  
Very Magnificent Lord and Imperial Ambassador,  
I Received yours here in Granada this 20th of july, and must needs say, it made good haste to arrive so soon from Valencia, being sent but on Saturday, and reaching hither Monday night. Since you come from so remote a Place as Rome, and have passed the dangerous Gulf of Narbonne, I will not ask, whether you arrive in health, but rather bless God you are come home alive; nevertheless, could wish you returned as healthy in Body, and clear in Soul, as you went out from hence; new Countries commonly producing new Manners. Lycurgus commanded the Lacedonians, they should neither go abroad to Trade, nor suffer Strangers to come among them; saying, that as Kingdoms grew rich by Foreign Dealings, so they always grew poor in Virtue. To tell you truth, My Lord, I have seen few come from Italy, but were become haughty and lewd, and the cause was, not that the Country wants hallowing by Saints, but by reason it is now Peopled with Sinners. It is the quality of Bells to call People to Mass, and yet never be in the Church themselves; such, in my Opinion, is the nature of Italy, where there are many Holy Places to stir up Devotion, yet the Natives have no Piety at all. Many say, the happiness of Italy consists in being free, but on the contrary, I affirm, the ruin of it proceeds from its being subject to no Body; for the freedom of doing what they will, oftentimes brings Men to do what they ought not. If Trogus Pompeius does not deceive us, when the Romans would have made the Bactrians free, for aiding their Consul Rufus in the War against the Parthians, they would not accept their proffered Liberty, saying, However they became free, they might nevertheless afterwards commit something to be made Slaves. To speak truth, there is no Commonwealth so depraved, as where the People are most free, for it is the nature of Liberty to be coveted by many, but well used by few. Where there is no submission, there is no King; where no King, no Law; where no Law, no Justice; where no Justice, no Peace; where no Peace, there is continual Discord; and where there is continual Discord, the Commonwealth cannot long subsist: Neither the Greeks, nor Carthaginians, Gauls, nor Huns, Epirots, nor Sabines, Samnites, nor the other People of Italy, could ever subdue or conquer Rome; yet at length it was both vanquished and destroyed, by its own pride in governing, and excessive licentiousness in Wickedness. Plato observing the Athenians to grow loose, used often to say to them, Look to yourselves Athenians, do not loaf through Viciousness, what you have gained by Valour; for I must tell you, as much Prudence is required to preserve Liberty, as Valour to procure it. Experience teaches us, in a free Commonwealth, there are daily more Mischiefs done, Blasphemies uttered, Crimes committed, Scandal given, good Men defamed, and Villainies perpetrated, by two or three Libertines, than could be by as many hundred kept under subjection and awe. For we may observe those only are Pilloried, Whipped, Banished, Beheaded, Hanged, and Imprisoned, who misspend their time, live like Vagabonds, and make their Liberty serve merely to support their Vices. There is nothing in this Life so precious as Liberty, yet at the same time nothing so dangerous, if Men know not how far to make use of it. Liberty is to be diligently sought after, earnestly procured, bought, maintained▪ and defended; But I advise and warn him that has obtained it, not to use it upon every slight fancy, but only on well grounded Reasons: For otherwise, where a Man imagines he has gained it for his whole Life, it will never last him one Month. The Libertinism of Phalaris ruin'd the Greeks, of Roboam perplexed the jews, of Catiline disquieted the Romans, of jugurtha annoyed the Carthaginians, and of Dionysius destroyed the Sicilians; But nevertheless, at length, the Commonwealths were eased of their Troubles, and both they and their Tyrannies expired together. Many Men forbear doing ill, because they will not do it; but more, because they cannot: Many refrain out of Conscience, but more out of Shame: Some are kept under by Reputation, but more by Fear: Many curb themselves because they will be good, but more because they would not be infamous. Whether it be out of Love, Fear, Conscience, or Shame, we ought always to incline to what is good, and refrain from too much liberty; for where we give a loose to Sensuality, and take the full swinge of our Inclinations, we shall soon find enough to talk of all day, and lament all night. Sir, I have put you in mind of these things, that since you come from Rome you may not value yourself▪ upon the Customs and Habits of that place; for, you must understand, it is much pleasanter to describe the Manners of Italy, than imitate them. If you happen to reflect on the Grandeur of Rome, liberty of its People, variety of Strangers resorting thither, beauty of the Ladies, delicacy of Eating, goodness of Wines, splendidness of Entertainment, and plenty of Markets; remember withal, that there the Estate is lavished, Conscience burdened, and Soul very often lost. Many of the Italians are good, but Strangers in Italy for the most part naught; for where there are but few go thither on account of Devotion▪ on the contrary, very many Travel to gratify their Lusts. Rome now under Christians is not the same as heretofore under Heathens; for whereas it was then Mistress of all Virtue, it is now become the worst School of Vice. Yet, notwithstanding the Libertinism and Viciousness of Rome, it is not wholly to be laid upon the Popes, for besides many of them have been Saints, and some in our days have been Virtuous, yet there is none so wicked, but he will endeavour to behave himself well in his own Government. But allowing this, what shall we say of a poor Priest who crosses all Spain, France, and Lombardy, to go to Rome; yet before he can have his Business dispatched, falls into a thousand Snares, spends his Money, and commits innumerable Crimes. For my own part, I must confess I went to Rome, saw it, was conversant there, and considered it throughly, and where I observed many things that moved me to Devotion, as likewise which raised my Admiration. But, Oh! how great and infinite is the difference between the Customs of Italy, and the true Laws of Christianity; for the one bids you do what you please, the other what you ought; The one to deny every body that you may thrive, and the other to deny yourself that you may be saved; The one to have much regard to your Conscience, the other to be ashamed of nothing; The one to labour to become a good Christian, the other to study how to grow rich; The one to make Virtue your Rule of Life, the other to mind nothing but Libertinism; The one not to speak an untruth upon any account whatever, the other to make no account of Truth where your Interest is concerned; The one to live upon your own, the other to make use of another's; The one to remember always you are to die, the other never to be troubled you are not to live; The one to employ yourself always in Learning, the other to apply your Mind only to grow great; The one to share what you have with the Poor and your Friends, the other always to lay up for Old Age; The on● to be very Circumspect in talking, the other to value yourself much upon your Tongue; The one to believe only in Christ, the other to make it your business only to get Money. If upon these Twelve Conditions, My Lord, you are willing to be a Roman, much good may it do you; but, no doubt, at the day of Judgement, you will rather wish you had been a Ploughman in Spain, than Ambassador to the Holy See. I will say no more, but pray God to keep you, and give both you and me an happy end.  
Granada, july 20. 1525.   

LETTER XVIII. To Doctor Micer Sumier, Regent of Naples; in Answer to several Moral Questions.  
Magnificent SIR, but Importunate Friend,  
NEither is it Untrue, nor am I Sorry for Saying and Affirming, that as I make it my Business to Serve you, you do nothing but Study to Plague me; which is demonstrable in that you now send me anew Questions never thought on, nor I believe, ever so much as heard of before. Nevertheless, I am of Opinion, you do not so much Ask out of a desire to have 'em Answered, as to try my Ability; and therefore must tell you, that on one hand your Letter caused me a great deal of Mirth, and on the other no less Disquiet; you being in some places extremely Pleasant, when in others extravagantly Curious. I would not have you Proud, because I say you are Curious, since you do not fail to show at the same time, you have little else to do. As it must be allowed you are Prudent in most you say, so it will as easily be granted, you are over-capricious in what is said to you; for should I take the same liberty as you have done, no doubt, you wôuld soon conclude, I had either too much leisure, or too little Judgement. Nevertheless, where you seemed to Write but in Jest, I am resolved to Answer you in good Earnest, imitating herein the ancient Orators, who were always wont to exert their Eloquence most, where they found the least Occasion. You first Ask me, Sir, How one Man shall do to know another, so that he may either safely receive, or carefully avoid him? I Answer 4 ways; By his Undertake, Productions, Words, and Companions; For the Man that by Nature is Proud, in Business Negligent, in Words a Liar, and who keeps bad Company, I am sure, is neither fit to be Trusted, nor proper to be Believed. You Ask me, How many things in this Life can have no Equal? I Answer, Four, which are our Liberty, Learning, Health, and Good Works: For Liberty lightens the Heart, Learning enriches the Mind, Health preserves the Body, and Virtue saves the Soul. You Ask me, What are those things that most easily deceive a Man, and soon ruin him? I Answer, Four; Desire of having much, Inclination to know much, Over-experience of the World, and too great Presumption of ones Abilities. For too much Knowledge ends in Madness, too great Wealth creates Pride, Living long makes Men Negligent, and Self-conceit renders 'em Unmindful of their Frailties. You Ask me, Sir, What is to be required in a good Judge? I Answer, Four Qualities; That he hear with Patience, Answer with Prudence, Condemn with Justice, and Execute with Mercy. For he that is impatient in Hearing, Foolish in Answering, Partial in Sentencing, and Cruel in Executing, I am sure, is rather fit to stand at the Bar to be Tried, than sit on the Bench to Determine. You Ask me, What makes a Man Discreet in his Behaviour, and Wise in his Words? I Answer, Four things; Reading many Books, Travelling many Kingdoms, Suffering many Hardship, and Managing great Affairs. For to raise a Man to the true Estimation of Wisdom, he must have seen the World, been conversant in Books, Undergone Troubles, and Exercised no Ordinary Employments. You Ask me, What are those things a Man thinks himself frequently possessed of, and yet generally wants 'em? I Answer, they are Four; Many Friends, Much Knowledge, Great Wisdom, and Extraordinary Power. For there is none so Great, but may be Vanquished; so Wise, that do not sometimes Err; so Knowing, but are often Ignorant; nor so Happy, but have many Enemies; Therefore we may well be said, to have fewer Friends than we imagine; To know less than we Fancy; and in fine, to have both our Power, and even our Wisdom, but very imperfect. You Ask me, Sir, What frequently ruins a Man, and from which he rarely recovers? I Answer; To Neglect his Business, Forsake the Council of a Faithful Friend, To meddle with what he has nothing to do; and lastly, To spend more than his Income. For he that is Negligent in what he Undertakes, Rejects the Advice of his Wise Friend, Concerns himself in another's Affairs, and Spends more than he has, shall soon have a downfall and find no body to raise him. You ask me what are those things a a Man would rather die than suffer? I Answer, in my Opinion they are Four; Poverty in old Age, Sickness in Prison, Infamy after Honour, and Banishment from his own Country. For, to be Poor when old, Sick in Prison, Infamous when Honoured, and Banished without hopes of return: A Brave Man would sooner accept a Virtuous Death, than such a Miferable Life. You ask me, Sir, Who are those that both God Abhors, and Man Abominates? I Answer, a Proud Beggar, a Rich Miser, an Old Lecher, and Young Rakeshame. For, where Youth loses its Modesty, Age its Chastity, Riches its Charity, and Poverty its Humility, there can be no Virtue Cherished, much less Practised. You ask me, Sir, Who are those that may properly be said to have true Friends? I Answer, Four sorts of Men; which are, the Eloquent, Liberal, Powerful, and good Natured. For, they who speak with a Grace, give with a free Heart, are wise in their Commands, and Courteous in their Conversation, shall live in every Body's esteem, and never want Friends. You ask me, What are the greatest troubles of this Life? I Answer; the Death of ones Children, Loss of ones Estate, Prosperity of ones Enemies, and weakness of ones Friends. For, it must needs be a great Torment to Bury a Child one has bred, lose an Estate one has got, be subject to an Enemy, or have a Fool to ones Friend. You ask me, Sir, What are those trials wherein a Man commonly loses his Patience? I Answer; to Serve and not Please, to Ask and not Receive, to Give without Thanks, and Hope without Success. For, a Man's endeavours to be ill Rewarded, his Petitions Rejected, his Debts withheld, and Hopes Frustrated; he may, indeed, Suffer, but nevertheless, can never prevail with his Tongue to conceal 'em. You ask me, Sir, What are those things that sooner cease to be, than care to be satisfied? I Answer, Four; the Ears with Hearing, Hands with Hoarding, Tongue with Talking, and Heart with Coveting. For, be a Man never so Old and Diseased, his Ears are never tired with Novelties, his Hands with scraping up Riches, his Tongue with uttering Vanities, nor his Heart with desiring Superfluities: You ask me, What a Man is neither able to Conceal nor Dissemble? I Answer; Love, Grief, Riches, and Ill-will. For, Love is discovered by Sighs, Grief bursts out in Complaints, Riches appear in the Countenance, and Hatred shows its self in the Eyes. You ask me, Sir, what may easily be lost, and yet can never be Recovered? I Answer, Four things; Virginity, Time, a Stone cast, and a Word spoken. You ask me, What a Man has most reason to value himself upon? I Answer; Being a good Christian, sincere in his Actions, Patiént in his Sufferings, and Secret in his Intentions. You ask me, Who are those that most readily get Friends, and most easily lose lose? I Answer; Rich Men, Young Men, Powerful People, and Favourites. For, How soon do the Rich grow Contemptible when Poor, the Youth when Old, the Potent Person when he loses his Power, and Courtier when his Prince withdraws his Favour. You ask, How many are the qualities required in a Servant? I Answer, Four; To be Diligent, Patient, Faithful, and True. For he that is willing to learn what he knows not, can suffer when Rebuked, discharges his Trust honestly, and makes use of no falsity; Let a Master make much of such a Servant, and that Servant never doubt Preferment. You ask me, What the more a Woman desires, the less she is contented? I Answer; fine clothes, Beauty, Freedom, and Credit. For, above all things she loves to be well dressed, Esteems herself Handsome, Longs to go where she Lists, and would have every Body believe what she says. You ask, Sir, What a Man must have regard to, before he parts with a Benefit? I Answer, to the Thing, Person, Reason, and Time. For, he must consider the thing, that he may not be Niggardly; The Person, that he may Relieve or Refuse according to Merit; The Reason, that he may Exercise his Charity; and the time, that he may not be tardy in Necessity. You Ask me, What are the best Qualities in a Prince? I Answer, Four; Courage to Suffer, Generosity to Give, Justice to Reward, and Clemency to Pardon. All other Imperfections are the easier born with, where there can be found in him Mercy, Justice, Liberality, and Patience. You Ask me, What a Gentleman ought most to avoid, and which soon brands him? I Answer, Covetousness, Cowardice, Lies, and Injustice. You Ask me likewise, What Properties a Virgin must have to get a good Repute? I Answer, Four; To be Handsome, Honest, an Enemy to Liberty, and Despiser of Bawds. Thus, Sir, are all your Demands Answered, and where I have not happened to come up to your Expectations, I hope, you'll, at least, Accept of my Endeavours. No more, but God keep you, and give me Grace to Serve him.  
Valencia, Oct. 11. 1528.   

LETTER XIX. To the Governor Don Lewis Bravo; occasioned by his falling in Love in his old Age: being a familiar satire on such fruitless attempts; as likewise a serious warning to all Old Men not to go beyond their strength.  
Noble, but Inconsiderate Sir,  
TO Style you Noble, or right Noble, Virtuous, or right Virtuous, Magnificent, or very Magnificent, were doing you a palpable wrong without the least Honour; since, at the Age you are of, joined with the Life you lead, there appears neither Nobility in your Person, nor Modesty in your Manners. The Letter you sent, plainly shows it was product of your own Brain, and work of your own Hand; since it is thereby demonstrable, how little account you make of Honour; and, at the same time, how void you are of Shame. If you did not deceive me, and your Brother spoke truth, you wanted then but two Months of Sixty three, allowing first-Fruits to the Bishop of Cordova, and all the Tithes to the Parson of your Parish. It were but reasonable therefore, to expect at so great Age, you should at length have recovered your Wits and come to yourself: But such is the obstinacy of hardened sinners, they still run on to the end of their Lives before they think of mending. I am obliged to say this, Sir, though ' not so much troubled at what you write, as that you give me cause to answer it after an ungrateful manner; for since you treat of a subject so Malipiero a propos, I may well think myself at liberty to answer with severity. To come to the point then, I must tell you, it seems to me a mere jest; that being a Christian, Divine, Preacher, Priest, Religious Person, and even the strictest of St. Francis' Order, you should now talk to me of Love, and even enrol me among the Gallants; For, where I grant it my duty to hear your confession, I do not think myself at all obliged to guide you in your Amours. You writ me one particular you ought have been ashamed to propose, since I cannot but blush to answer it; and that is, that at Seventy Years of Age, you are now fallen deeply in Love; and moreover, would needs have me to send you a Love-Letter for your Mistress, as well to persuade her to yield to your desires, as to suspend her Duty to God for a while. Sir, in the mean time, since I am not acquainted with your Mistress, nor so much as know who she is, I should be very glad if you would communicate to her this Letter; which being carefully read and rightly understood, I need not doubt being revenged on your imprudence; your being informed of your folly, and she convinced of your madness. But lest I be thought all this while in Jest, it is high time my Pen should freely tell you my thought on the whole matter.  
At your Age, it is great falsehood to say you Love, since you cannot so properly now be termed Amorous as decrepit, a Gallant as Lecher, Pleasing as Doting. At your Age you should rather observe theNine-a-Clock Bell to go to Bed, than four-a-Clock Chimes i'th' Morning to go home at. At your Age, perhaps you may Love, but it is ridiculous to say, you are beloved; since the wretch you Court, gives not ear to you for the sake of your Person, but is wholly enamoured on your Fortune. At your Age, all you can say becomes a Jest; for where Women entertain Young Men for Pleasure, they only give old ones the hearing to laugh at. At your Age, you are unfit to write Songs, Serenade, climb Walls, make a figure in the Streets, or quarrel in the Dark; and yet, Vain and Conceited Women will not only think to be Courted, and well paid in private, but also expect to be Gallanted and Defended in Public. At your Age, it is not proper to wear thin Shoes, a Hat high-cocked, a straight Coat, large Steenkirk, and your Mistress' Favours; and yet these sort of Animals will not barely require a Man should write wit, but also, be ve●y Beavish in his Dress. At your Age, it is impossible to endure the continual Importunities of ask, and everlasting impertinence Messages; for crafty Mistresses soon change their Passion into Slights and Complaints, if all they ask is not given, and all they write answered to their minds. At your Age it is hard to feign Sorrow, counterfeit Sighs and frame Groans; whereas, Worldly loose Women presently fall out and are at variance with Lovers that do not write in doleful manner, and often sigh in their presence. At your Age, it is not tolerable to be employed in seeking variety of Dainties to Treat with, and new Rigging and Jewels to present; For Women are so very full of Francies, and hard to please, they'll presently hate those they formerly loved, and laugh at such as they made much of before, if they do not every Week give them something new to Wear, and every Day send a choice bit to Eat. At your Age, it is not allowable to give account of what you do, nor let any body know what affairs you have in hand: But which, notwithstanding, your Mistress will require; For, unless every Night you relate the transactions of the Day, nay, and what you so much as thought on, you may be assured she will soon turn her back in Bed, and perhaps be sullen at Table. At your Age, it is not fit to walk in Fear, and be confined to a place, so as not to dare go whither you list, nor frequent what company you fancy: Yet which, your Mistress will nevertheless expect from your Hands, for whenever she understands you visit another, she will immediately forsake you, and defame her. At your Age, you ought to have no body oversee your Estate, or Govern above you in your Family: But which, you must nevertheless condescend to, if you are disposed to Court; since such is the nature of a Mistress, that you must not only give her all she will ask, but also allow her whatever she can steal. At your Age, it is no longer tolerable to be extravagant and lavish in Expenses, which he that sets up for a Gallant must be, or never please his Mistress; for whenever you keep a Woman, she will not thank you for her constant allowance, unless you are daily feeding her extravagancies besides. At your Age, it is highly scandalous to leave business of moment, and weight for such as is only trivial and of no advantage, and which, only tends to Pleasure and Lewdness: But which, nevertheless, your Mistress will require at your Hands; for that sort of Cattle are apt to believe the Affairs you have indifferent, and may be omitted, in respect of those, to attend and wait upon them. At your Age, it is not proper to exclude Friends, or forbear visiting Acquaintance, tho' your Mistress will neither allow you to admit one, nor see the other; expecting you should refrain all company for hers, and make it your chief Study to conform yourself to her humour. At your Age, it is a shame to Marry, much more pretend to Court; for tho' a Woman be never so Vain and Wild, she will still think one of Seventy much fitter to give Advice, than get Children. At your Age, it is not Lawful to conceal Truth, or flatter any body; which, nevertheless, the Man who Courts is obliged to do, and every Mistress expects; for, whenever you shall presume to commend another's Beauty or good Qualities beyond hers, she will soon fly in your Face, shut the Door against you, not suffer herself to be seen; and besides, talk largely of you upon the least occasion▪ At your Age, if you proceed in making Love, either you will be Deluded, or she Cheated; for, if the wretch condescends to your desires, she undoubtedly casts herself away; and if she treats you as such old Fellows deserve, you will as surely find yourself imposed upon and bubbled At your Age, there is no enduring the cold Dews and nipping Frosts you must undergo; for where it is often requisite you come in late to avoid being seen, you must likewise be gone early to prevent discovery. Sir, I will defer the rest till I see how you can digest this; for, if what I have said should prove too harsh for your Stomach, the next, perhaps, may be somewhat more Lenitive. No more, but GOD assist you always with his Divine Grace.  
Toledo, Oct. 8, 1524.   

LETTER XX. To the same; concerning the Qualities required in an Old Man; As also, how difficult it is to remove Love from a Heart, where it has once taken root; Nevertheless prescribing some few Remedies against it.  
Right Noble SIR, and Repenting Old Gentleman,  
BY yours I understood, how effectually my last moved you, and am exceeding glad it was so well tempered, as to purge, but not overcome your Soul. Tho I then repented styling you Noble, I now think you well deserving that Title, since you have done all that became the Nobility of your Blood, and amended what was amiss in your Life. You say, Sir, my Words pierced your Heart, and touched you to the very Quick; wherewith, to deal ingenuously, I am extravagantly pleased, since I writ 'em not with intent you should only read, but also be thereby the more sensibly affected; yet at the same time, must assure you, on the Word of a Gentleman, and Christian, my design was not to affront, but rather incline you to Amend. Sir, you say, as soon as ever you read my Letter, you burned your Mistress' Favours, tore her Billets-doux, turned off her Boy who was wont to go between you, kept away from her House, and instantly discharged the Bawd: All which I cannot but commend, and shall highly extol, if you persevere; for it is so very hard a thing to root out Vice, which has once taken possession, that where we imagine it quite destroyed, it frequently sprouts out again anew. Sir, I return you hearty Thanks for what you have done, and beg your Pardon for what I have said; though I must tell you, in case you Amend, I shall not greatly value your Anger, it being much easier to appease Wrath, than thoroughly banish Vice. You desire me, since I sent the Qualifications of an Amorous Old Man, I would now acquaint you with those that are required in a Discreet one; that as the one may see the dangers he is to avoid, the other may know the way he is to follow. Sir, I am very willing to grant your Request, though, I can by no means, promise my Wit shall prove so mature, and Pen run so smooth in giving Advice, as Reproving; for many are dull at Councelling, who are commonly very witty when they Rail; nevertheless, I shall discharge my Conscience to the best of my knowledge, assuring such as happen to meet with my Precepts, they'll find far more benefit by practising, than pleasure in reading. Old Men, at your years, aught to be so very exact in what they say, and regular in what they do, that they must not only not be seen to commit any ill Action, but also not to speak the least unseemly Word; A lewd and impudent Old Fellow, being singly sufficient to corrupt a whole Country. Old Men, at your years, must not only give good Example, but also good Advice; for as it is the Nature of Youth to wander, it ought to be the Property of Age to walk uprightly, and council others to do the like. Old Men, at your years, must be meek, modest, and peaceable; for if once they occasioned Disturbances and Broils, they are now by all means to promote Unity. Old Men, at your years, are to instruct the Ignorant, and support the Weak, and where they cannot Relieve, they ought, at least, to Comfort; for many times an Afflicted Heart receives greater Consolation from Words well spoken, than whatever can possibly be given. Old Men, at your years, must busy themselves in settling Affairs at home, and bewailing their Sins abroad; for he may very well be assured of his Salvation, who in his Life-time does what he ought, and at his Death the best he can. Old Men, at your years, should be very sparing of Words, and brief in Relations, neither must they be addicted to tell Romances, or repeat Drolls; for if young People on this accounted are termed Wild and Lewd; Old, assuredly, will be esteemed Madmen and Buffoons Old Men, at your years, should avoid all manner of Litigiousness, and, if possible, buy off Law-Suits at any rate, thereby to save themselves much trouble; for Young People only endure such Fatigues, whilst Old cannot help fretting incessantly at the least Disappointment. Old Men, at your years, must converse with People of good Inclinations, and no ill Conditions, in whom they may safely Repose, and with whom they may securely Discourse; nothing in this World being so great ease to the Heart of Man, as pleasing Conversation. Old Men, at your years, must seek out and choose Virtuous Persons for Friends, and be very careful such as they pitch upon, and converse with, be neither over-given to talk, nor importunate in ask, Friendship and Importunity being for the most part incompatible. Old Men, at your years, ought not to entertain any other vain, or Worldly thoughts, than those of Managing their Estates, and looking after their Families; for he that does not mind his Estate, will certainly starve, and who neglects his Family, will as surely never want Misfortunes. Old Men, at your years, are obliged only to be clean and decently Dressed; for where gaiety is commendable in Youth, in Age it is greatly to be despised. Old Men, at your years, must very cautiously avoid quarrelling with Enemies, or wrangling with Neighbours; because, where they happen to have abusive Language given 'em, the mischief is, they may have Sense enough to resent, but have not strength sufficient to revenge. Old Men, at your years, must be very Charitable and Compassionate; for, as raw young Fellows, being infatuated with the Affairs of the World, think it enough they are called Christians; Old Men, who have had more Experience, and are undeceived, may assure themselves, God will never have Mercy, where they want Charity. Old Men, at your years, aught to have Pious Books to improve their time, and History to divert them; for since Age will neither permit travel nor labour, they must otherwise, of necessity, be all day idle and thoughtful; therefore 'twere much better they should employ their time in reading, than tiring themselves out with reflecting on times past. Old Men, at your years, are to avoid sitting in Council, or meddling with Government; because, the Business there, is, for the most part, managed by turbulent Youths, and biased Persons; Men of Sense being seldom or never believed, and ancient People as rarely regarded. Old Men, at your years, when either advised with, must not be rash, loud, nor positive; because Youth is only permitted to be Headstrong, where Age is always to be governed by Reason. Old Men, at your Age, must be sober, peaceable, and chaste, and rather value themselves on their Virtues than Years; for in these, and all other times, Men have been still more Respected for good Lives, than living long. Old Men, at your years, after taking necessary care of their Souls, must next have regard to their Bodies; for as Galen says, Old Age is of that wonderful Nature, it is neither an absolute Disease, nor perfect Health. Old Men, at your years, must endeavour to have a House airy and open to the Sun, that it may be both wholesome and pleasant; for, I am of Opinion, no Money is better laid out, than what an ancient Person parts with that way. Old Men, at your years, must not only be sure to live in a good House, but also to lie on a good Bed, and take care, as the one be made soft, the other be kept warm; for an ancient Man being always tender and sickly, takes more harm by a little Air at a Cranny, than he did, when young, in a Frosty Night. Old Men, at your years, must beware they have but few Dishes on their Table, as also, that the Meat be tender and well seasoned; for otherwise, if they eat much, and love variety, they will always be sickly, and seldom be at rest: for though they may have Money wherewithal to buy, they rarely have Stomaches sufficient to digest. Old Men, at your years, must have a warm Bed, a Room well hung, a soft Fire, and Chimney that does not smoke; for the Life of Old People depends chiefly on being cleanly, keeping themselves warm, and living easy. Old Men, at your years, must be cautious of living over Water, standing on moist Ground, and sleeping in windy Places; because, being tender as Children, and naturally infirm, the Air penetrates their Pores, and Dampness soon seizes their Spirits. Old Men, at your years, upon pain of Death, must be moderate at Dinner, and abstinent at Supper; because their Stomaches being weak and cold, cannot digest two Meals a day: when that greedy old Person, who presumes to do the contrary, will both belch much, and sleep little. Old Men, at your years, to prevent Sicknesses, and growing fat and unwieldy, must lighten themselves sometimes with Exercise; otherwise, perhaps, they may once happen to be seized by an Astma, which will so choke 'em up, they shall rather seem to blow than breath. Old Men, at your years, should be very cautious of giving ill Language to Servants, and must bear sometimes with Failings, and, besides, pay 'em duly their Wages; and this, that they may live easy, and not dissatisfied; for otherwise they will be negligent in performing their Duty, and very often subject to Steal. Old Men, at your year's, must make it their chief business to go to Church; but if any one thinks much of this Injunction, I require it no oftener of him than he went to see his Mistress, when young. To conclude, Old Men, at your years, must endeavour to wear their clothes neat, Linen clean, keep their Houses decent, and Beds sweet; for he who is Ancient, and would be esteemed Wise, if he desires to be healthy, and live contented, must keep his Body free from Lice, and Mind from Disgusts. At the end of your Letter you write, that though you have cast off your Love, and discarded your Mistress, yet the Pain still remains with you, and therefore desire I would prescribe a Remedy, or, at least, send you some Comfort; for though you have already turned it out of your House, yet it ceases not often to knock at your Door. In this case I must refer you to Hermogenes, Ctesiphon, Dorcacius, Plutarch, and Ovid, who have all spent much time, and writ many Books of Instructions how to Love, or avoid that Plague. But let Ovid, Dorcacius, and the rest, say what they please, in my Opinion, the surest Remedy against Love, were never to begin it; it being a Beast so very untoward, that it will be taken with a Thread, where it can never be frighted away with a Sword. Let every Man be cautious what he goes about, consider what he does, be careful in what he Undertakes, mind whom he Visits, and observe where he settles his Affection; for though it was in his choice to enter, it will hardly be in his power to return safe. He that ventures upon Love will meet with Precipicies, Bogs, Briers, and Whirlpools in the way, where many are cast down, stuck, torn, and drowned; so that even the Man who escapes the best, for the most part, comes off but very scurvily. How often did Hercules wish he were well quit of his Mistress Mitrida, Menelaus of Dortha, Paris of Helen, Alcibiades of Dorbeta, Demophoon of Phillis, Hannibal of Sabina, and Marc Antony of Cleopatra, from whom, nevertheless, they could never be parted, but, at length, were all jointly lost together. In Love let no Man trust another, or rely upon himself, for it is so very natural to both Sexes, and the desire of being beloved so agreeable, that whenever it joints, it is a cement that seldom gives way. Love is such a hidden Cancer, it fixes not on the Face where it may be seen, nor pulse where it may be felt; but on the poor Heart, where, though it be very pungent, yet none dares discover it. After all, the best Remedy I can think of against Love is, that it be not permitted to take root in the Mind, that the Eyes be kept from gazing, the Ears be stopped against Procurers, no Familiarity be entertained with Women, that, if any come, the Doors be shut against 'em, and that a Man be not abroad after day shut in; for thus, if Love be not totaly Cured, at least, I'm sure, it will be considerably Eased. Sir, if you will weigh well all has been said, and make your advantage accordingly, you will infallibly prevent much trouble, and save a great deal of Expense; it being much more proper for your Age, and my Gravity, to know where are the best Taverns, than the finest Ladies. Sir, let your acquaintance, the Licentiate Burgos, be a Warning and Check to you for the future; who being old, as you are, and in Love likewise, died last Saturday, in so strange a manner, it was both a terror to all in general, and an exceeding Grief to his Relations besides. I will say no more, at present, but pray God to Preserve you, and give me Grace always to Serve him. Amen.  
Burgos, Febr. 24. 1523.   

LETTER XXI. To Don Alonso Espinel Corregidor of Oviedo, a very Neat and Pleasant Old Gentleman; wherein the Author hints, how much the Ancients always Honoured Age: Together with several Privileges peculiar to Old People, exceeding Pleasant, and no less Reforming.  
Very Illustrious SIR, and Honest Old Gentleman,  
SOlon, Prometheus, Lycurgus, and Numa Pompilius, chief Lawyers of the World, though they differed in many things, yet all agreed in these; That Men should worship the Gods, be Merciful to the Poor, and Honour Old Age. There has no Nation been hitherto heard of so Barbarous, or People so Inhuman, where the Worship of a Deity, Relief of the Poor, and Respect to Age, was forbid; for these Three things are in themselves so very Essential and Natural, that they require no Law to authorize, nor Prince to enforce 'em. Eschines the Philosopher, in a Speech to the Rhodians says, there were but Seven Laws in the Island Baleares, which were, That they should Worship the Gods, Take Pity on the Poor, Honour Ancient People, Obey their Princes, Oppose Tyrants, Kill Thiefs, and None of them Travel in Strange Countries. Aulus Gellius, lib. 2. cap. 25. writes, that among the Romans, those who had acquired great Riches, or attained to high Places, were not so much honoured and respected as such who had lived to a great Age, and behaved themselves always with a stayed Gravity. In those times ancient Men were held in so high esteem, they reverenced them almost as Gods, and honoured them as Loving Fathers. It is certain the Romans took the Custom of paying such Deference to Age from the Lacedæmonians, among whom it was an established Law, that only ancient grave Men could be constituted Judges to punish, and Censors to direct. The Philosopher Pantheon, who was Master to Empedocles, being asked by a King of Thebes, called Circidacus, How he should do to govern his Dominions? answered, if you will have your Kingdom well Managed, and People live quiet, cause the old Men to govern, young to go to the Wars, and Women to Spin and Bake at home; for, if on the contrary, you permit Women to take up the business of Men, young People to live idle, and old to to be laid quiet aside, you will soon suffer much trouble in your Person, and the Commonwealth be likewise in great danger of destruction. The Veteran Romans enjoyed five singular Privileges in Rome, which were, That if they came to Poverty, they should be maintained by the Public; That only they could sit down in the Temples, wear Rings on their Fingers, Eat in private, and have a Robe down to their Feet; all which were Religiously observed from Numa Pompilius down even to the Dictator Quintus Cincinnatus. After the Romans were defeated by Hannibal, at the three famous Battles of Trebia, Thrasimen, and Cannae, there being but few left to maintain the Commonwealth, and fewer fit to endure the hardships of War, the Senate ordered none should remain in the City, but such as were Married, and had Wife or Children to maintain; so that no Person then could continue in Rome without keeping either a Wife or a Mistress: Also, that Men might the better be encouraged to Marry, it was then ordained, that for the future all Honours and Dignities in the Commonwealth should be conferred only on such as maintained a Family; so that it thereby came to pass, they were most esteemed who had most Children, and not those who were eldest. This was called Lex Cimica, which also Enacted, That in case there were several Competitors who had got some more, some fewer Children, and lost some in the Wars, that then regard should not be had to him that had got, but him that had lost most, because the Romans held all that died in defence of their Country, in the same Veneration we do those that become Martyrs for the Faith. Now, to come to the purpose, I say, and affirm, you have merited all these three Honours, and they ought worthily to be conferred upon you; since in Age you are Seventy five, as to Matrimony have had Eleven Children, and then four of them been killed in the Wars of Granada: Nevertheless, I am of Opinion, you would willingly resign the Honours you have gained by living so long, having so many Children, and losing four in the Wars, providing you could but have escaped the vast Troubles you have under-gone; for in this unhappy World Reputation every day grows less, when Troubles daily increase. Sir, I have computed my Age, and find I am but Forty four; yet, as I hope to be saved, am so very full of Discontent, and exceedingly tired out with Sufferings, that I covet not so much to live a great while, as to Repent sincerely of my Sins, and this because our Salvation depends not upon a long, but Virtuous and Pious Life. Vivere erubesco, & mori pertimesco, cried St. Anselm, as who would say; Comparing the wickedness of my Life, with the Punishment I deserve for it, on one hand I am ashamed to live, and on the other afraid to die; for with God no Merits pass unrewarded, nor Gild unpunished. Suitable to the saying of which Saint, I protest, when I stand to consider how long I have lived, and how little good have done, I can neither forbear Sighing, nor give over Weeping, reflecting, how at the hour of my death a strict Account will be taken, not only of the ills I have committed, but also the good Actions I have declined. I find but one good quality in myself, and that is, I commiserate my own Failings, and envy the Perfections of others; and would to God I could with the same ease amend, as I can discover, my own Faults; for then, I assure you, the Crime would be no sooner committed, than I should begin to do Penance for it. Therefore now, since you are passed Seventy, and I am onwards of Fifty, methinks, it is no ill Advice we should begin to lay aside superfluous Care, and put in execution our good Purposes; for frequently the best part of our Life is spent only in designing to grow better; But yet when we least think of it, death often prevents us before we have begun, and so leaves us in a State of Perdition. Remember, Sir, in how many Wars you have been, how many Famines have seen, how many Friends have lost, and how many Plagues escaped, from all which dangers Almighty God has delivered you, not because you have not deserved a thousand deaths, but that you might have more time to repent. In order to be Healthy, and prevent Diseases, I confess a Man must live temperate, and somewhat indulge himself; yet, at the same time, I avouch, we are neither to attribute to our Physician, nor Care of ourselves, the length or shortness of our days, for that depends only on the will and good Pleasure of our Maker. Sir, I entreat and charge you to be moderate in Discourse, temperate in Eating, charitable in Giving, and grave in Advising; so that you may value yourself more upon your Gravity than Age; otherwise, as you reckon your Years, others will not fail to count your Vices.  
I remember this time twelve month, when you were laid up of the Gout, and I came to visit you, you then requested the same thing you now write about, that is, to inform you of the Privileges and Immunities of old Men. This, Sir, is what might very well have been asked of somebody else, who were wiser, and had more Years over their Heads; chiefly considering, tho' I am passed my Youth, I have not yet arrived at Old Age; for as Aulus Gellius says, the Romans enjoyed not the Privileges of Age, till they were Forty Seven Years Old. Nevertheless, I am willing to perform what you so earnestly desire, on condition, you shall neither be offended nor dissatisfied; for, I intent to write and acquaint you only with the Prerogatives of humoursome old Fellows, without offering in the least, to touch upon any, whose Gravity and Age are equal; and by whose Prudence States are frequently Governed, and Youth as often directed. It is only just, my Pen should launch out upon such as me, who am a Vagabond, you that are Humoursome, Alonso de Ribera who is an eternal Babbler, Pedro de Espinel a continual Gamester, Roderigo de Orejon newly set up for a Spark, Sancho de Najara for an Epicure, and Gutierre de Hermosilla who is most immoderately Fretful. Tullius, Possidonius, Laertius and Polycrates spent many Hours, and writ several Treatises to prove, that Old Age was Profitable and Advantageous; and yet how far were they from the Truth, and how little was their knowledge of what they affirmed, since we find by experience, it is nothing less than a Disease, whereof we never recover, and a sickness, which, at last, deprives us of our being. Sir, I will here reckon up some of the Privileges which Old Men enjoy, and Age carries along with it, which yet, will be nothing, in respect of the many infirmities attend grey Hairs; being so exceeding numerous, and very grievous, that they can hardly be comprehended, much less recounted.  

Several Remarkable Privileges of Old Men, full of Raillery, and Facetious Reflections.  
It is a Privilege of Old Men to be short Sighted and blear Eyed, and very often where there is not a Cloud to be seen in the Air, they are to be found in their Eyes. It is the Privilege of Old Men to have a ringing in their Ears, and to be much troubled at their not hearing well; and this is discernible in that they often turn their Heads on one side to listen, and understand not what is said without hollowing. But still, the worst is, they frequently imagine what is spoken, and which, they do not understand; to be a design upon them, and in their Prejudice. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to have their hairs fall off without Combing, and Itch grow in their Necks without Sowing; wherefore will stand a whole day sunning their Heads, and complaining the Dandrif makes 'em scratch, when, for Cure, they should be washed in Chamber-lye, but dare not, for fear of the weakness of their Pericranies, It is the Privilege of Old Men, to want Teeth in their Mouths, to have some Lose, and others Rotten; but still the worst is, that many of 'em complain when they Drink, and Lif● when they Talk. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to put Pepper-Corns into their hollow Teeth, and afterwards to take a little Wine and Rosemary to wash their Mouths, It is the Privilege of Old Men, I mean such as are past Threescore, to give largely to Young Wenches to pick their Heads, and scratch their Backs. It is the Privilege of Old Men, whenever they complain or Limp, by reason of some Swelling in their Legs, hard Nodes, nails grown under the Flesh, or their Veins being full of Wind, if any Neighbour ask what they ail, they may Swear, and Forswear, it is but a scratch. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to wear their Periwigs a-wry, Cravats two Inches from their Necks, Stockings wrinkled, Shoes wide, and to go often in Slippers; and this, not to appear Careless or Modish, but because they are Gouty or have got the Pox. It is the Privilege of Old Men, I mean Rotten and Consumptive Fellows, when they design to spit on the ground, to drivel on their Waistcoats; and which, does not always proceed from Love of Nastiness, but sometimes mere weakness of Lungs. It is the Privilege of Old Men, never to be out of a Chimney-Corner when the weather's Cold, and to Sun themselves after Dinner if it be fair; the pleasure of which is, that the heat dries up their Mouths, and they are therefore often forced to send after the Vintner's Wife. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to have their Heads and Hands shake; so that they cannot sip Broth without greasing themselves, nor drink Wine without spilling. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to sit in Elbow-Chairs with Backs, that they may lean and loll, and sometimes divert their Catarrhs with a Nap. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to Dine at Eleven, have a Collation at Two, and Sup at Six; also, to be very punctual in going to Bed with the Hens, and rising before day to call the Maids. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to limp about House with a Cudgel in their Hands, that the Stick may walk as well as carry; also, sometimes to stir up the Fire with it, and now and then to strike a Servant. It is the Privilege of Old Men, without my Lord Mayor's leave, and inspite of both Sheriffs, to fasten their Handkerchiefs to their Girdles, and wear a Slabbering-bib at Table; Also, a double clout about their Necks in Bed, on which, for want of better, they may wipe their Hands and blow their Noses. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to Eat leisurely, Drink often, and tumble their Meat from one Jaw to another; also, if the Guests stay long, i'th' mean time they are allowed to taste the Wine, and cut a slice off the Spit with a safe conscience. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to ask, whether Moon or Starlight when they go to Bed? and early in the Morning, whether the Sun shines, it has Reigned, or is a Frost? They punctually observe the change o'th' Moon, and if the weather be dry or wet at that time; but in case they forget, their Bones and Corns soon put them in mind. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to complain they counted all hours in the Night, and to inquire ' i'th' Morning which way the Wind stands? For if Southerly, they say, it makes 'em faint, and, if Easterly, disorders 'em. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to set a Board under their Feet, and lean their Elbows on a Cushion; and, if they happen to fall a sleep, lying back in their Chair, or leaning on a Table, I am told, they cannot well be called to account for it. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to use all defensive shelter against Cold, as their Mortal Enemy, and to avoid walking against Wind: But, what I most admire, was, their great Prudence in the hard Winter, to keep their Doors shut, and Windows close. It is the Privilege of Old Men, not to go to Bed without a Spitting Dish, Chamber-pot at Beds-Head, and Close-stool at its Feet, and if their Doxy will so allow it, to have a Man or Maid always lie in the Room to be ready when they call, or cover them warm when the clothes fall off. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to wash their Feet every Saturday, pair their Corns and Nails close, and put on a clean Shirt at Night; and if it happen to be a fair Day, to Court the Maid to Comb and Scratch their Heads. It is the Privilege of Old Men to pass the time after Dinner at Whisk, Cribbage, or Tables in their Neighbour's Houses, if they can go abroad, or else send for them to their own where they cannot: But, the best on't is, as long as they play they will be sure to have Fruit and Wine on the Table, and that, none of the worst in Town. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to lean against a Shop, walk in the Church-Porch, sit on some Bench in the Market, or on a Chair at their own Doors; and this, only to hear what News about Town, and talk with all that pass by; which custom their Neighbours often Curse, and their Servants Damn; and this, because they would not have them overhear what they say, or overlook all they do. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to complain to their Neighbours, and chide their Servants, because the Bread's stale, Meat not tender, their Diet ill dressed, the House not clean, Maid saucy, and their Wives Gossips; All which complaints are sometimes occasioned by their being ill-attended, but oftener by their being ill conditioned. It is the Privilege of Old Men, without fear of being Indicted, Quod suadente Diabolo, etc. or incurring the penalty of disobeying any Proclamation, to pair of the Crusts from their Bread, and to put no Water to their Wine: Also, it is an Essential part of their Prerogative if past Threescore, that the Morsels they Eat may be reckoned, but not how many times they Drink. It is the Privilege of Old Men to chide Servants for laughing loud, and to inquire what they are talking of when they speak low; and the reason is, because they think they laughed at them when they laughed out, or talked ill of them when they spoke low. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to grumble or chide their Maids, both when they stay at home or go abroad; saying, they never come in time when they are sent out, and seldom do any thing to rights when they are ordered. But, the pleasantest thing of all is, that by the by, in their Wive's absence, they will make Love to them, and show themselves oftentimes jealous of the Men. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to complain eternally their Knees pain 'em, that they are troubled with heat of Liver, their Kidneys molest 'em are sick at Stomach, the Gout torments 'em, Sciatica keeps 'em waking, and above all, that Poverty oppresses 'em; so that there is scarce one Old Man in a hundred, who is not loaded with Pains and Aches, and who does not always pretend want of Money. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to ask all they meet, What News? as also to be observed, that be whatever they hear true or false, they'll presently tell it again for a certainty, add something of their own, and embellish the whole with their pithy PoetickRemarks. It is the Privilege of Old Men, at least once a month, to open their Coffers, shut the Doors, and all alone to survey their Treasure; counting their Money two or three times over, laying the Guinea's by themselves, Crown-Pieces in one place, and Broad Gold in another, but of which they would not part with a single Piece either to save their Souls, or relieve their Bodies. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to be naturally Covetous, Niggardly, Penurious, and Close, and that not only in regard to their Neighbours, but even to themselves; which is plainly discernible, in that they keep their best clothes to wear the worst, sell their best Wine, and drink the poorest, and part with their best Wheat, to eat the coursest; so that they live poor to die rich, and all that they laboured to purchase whilst living, is afterwards sold by Outcry. It is the Privilege of Old Men, when called to Council, Weddings, or at Church, to take the upper end of the Table, and propose first what they think proper to be Debated; but still the mischief is, that most are so very tedious in their Narrations, and various in their Sayings, that they rather exact Scorn and Contempt, than Respect and Veneration. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to Speak without being spoke to, Answer without being Asked, Give Advice without being Consulted, Take any thing without being offered, Go into any House without being sent for, and sit down at Table without being invited; which I happening once to reprove in a Friend of mine, he answered; Sir, trouble not yourself with matters of such small importance, for you know well all Places are free to Honourable Age. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to be naturally Quarrelsome, Passionate, Melancholy ill Humoured, Jealous, and hard to please; and the reason is, because through Age their Blood being cold, Choler corrupted, and Humours changed, they take more Satisfaction in Quarrelling than Laughing. It is the Privilege of Old Men, in long Winter-nights, and Summer Holidays, to sit down, and tell what Countries they have traveled through, Wars been in, Voyages made, Dangers escaped, and Amours have had; but yet they will never tell you how many years they are old, or how long it is since those Passages happened; but if you chance to mention any such thing, they immediately turn the Discourse another way. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to be always in Apothecary's Books, often dealing with Physicians, consulting old Women, to be Skilled in the Qualities of many Herbs, to Understand Distilling of Waters, Sunning of Bottles, and to keep Pots of Physic in their Cupboards: But notwithstanding, all those of my Country, which is the Mountains, are much better acquainted with Vintner's Butts, than Apothecary's Books. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to hate sour, and love sweet things; such as Dates of Oran, Citron of Candia, sweet Lemons of the Canaries, Marmelade of Portugal, and Preserves of India; yet, I know some old Fellows so very healthy and robust, that they'll prefer a good Westphalia Ham to all the Sweetmeats in the Universe. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to extol past Times, and rail at present, saying, in their Youth they were acquainted with such and such, who were Brave, Resolute, Generous, Noble, and Stout; but now the World is so far degenerated, that Men are all Cowards, Niggard's, Liars, Misers, and Knaves: The cause of which Discontent is, that being then in the heat of their Youth, they liked every thing, but now grown Aged, nothing is pleasing to 'em. It is the Privilege of Old Men, by Authority, or through Necessity, to wear a Fox-Skin on their Arms to dry up the Rheum, and next their Head a Quilted Cap to suck up the Sweat; Then to lie on a soft Featherbed to keep 'em warn, and wear at night a Linen Waistcoat for fear they should be uncovered in Bed; also a Scarlet one by day to please their Eyes; and lastly, a warm Stomacher to help Digestion. It is the Privilege of Old Men, in Winter to put on as many pair of Stockings as they please, Shoes with Cork and Hat in them, and Galosheses over all; They may also wear Woollen, Leather, and Fur Gloves, all at once; Nay, they may at the same time wear Doublet, Waistcoat, Coat, Surtout, and Cloak, and on their Heads a Cap, Wig, and Hat; They may likewise lie on a Down Bed, Quilts, and Featherbed, and be covered with Blankets, Rugs, and as much Bedding as they please; They may also lie in an Alcove Matted, keep a Fire there, and have their Bed well warmed; But still, notwithstanding this, the Wretches never cease coughing all night, nor grunting all day. It is the Privilege of Old Men, when they go to Bed to have their Shins scratched, and Backs rubbed; and, if it be a neat Old Fellow, he sees his Breeches first well looked, and has his Legs stroked after which he cries to the Maid, I pray thee Marry open the Bed, and bring me a Dram. It is the Privilege of Old Men, when at home alone, or awake in Bed, they may think on their Youth past, and all their old Acquaintance gone; also, how useless Age has made them, and how little they are now to be valued; The Memory of which oftentimes makes 'em Heavy and Melancholy, because they see they must die without remedy, and rot without redemption. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to talk often with the Parson of the Parish about their Funeral, and frequently consult their Lawyer concerning their Will: But the Jest is, there is hardly one hour in a day in which they do not alter their Resolution, about being buried in this or that place, and leaving what they have to this or that Body. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to be known wherever they come, and heard wherever they go, that is, by Coughing as they Walk, dragging their Feet, and many times by the Noise they make with their Cane, but most commonly by muttering and scolding at their Men. It is the Privilege of Old People, to turn every Bit they eat a long time from one side of their Mouths to another's before they swallow it, and to hold a Glass of Wine the mean while in their Hands, so that their Throats being better at swallowing, than Jaws at chewing, their greatest comfort is to take two or three gulps with every Morsel; for though what they eat may be but ill chewed, yet than it must needs be well soaked. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to carry the Keys of their Money close in their Fobs, and those of their Wine and Corn in their Pockets; so that when they are to give out Corn to Grind, or Money for usual Expenses, they frequently make the House ring, and often spoil their Wives Dinners. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to be peevish to those that ask, how old they are? and pleased with such as talk of their past Amours; but the worst is, they could even murder such as do not honour them for their years, and yet are always angry with those that compute 'em; so that they love the Respect due to them, but conceal their Age which is the Occasion of it. It is the Privilege of Old Men, to complain to every body they cannot eat, their Meat's not well seasoned, they have no Dainties, their Bed's not well made, that the Gout continually torments, and Suppers do 'em harm, and lastly, that they have not slept one wink all night; and yet, on the other hand, it is hardly day when they begin to quarrel with every body, because they have not brought them their Breakfast. This is all, only I pray God to keep you, and give me Grace to serve him.  
Valencia, Febr. 12. 1524.    

LETTER XXII. To Don Antonio de Zuniga, Prior of St. John's; informing him, that though a Gentleman be subject to Failings, he ought to be guilty of nothing Dishonourable; With several Encomiums on this Prior's Valour in his Command at the Siege of Toledo: As likewise a Promise to recommend his Prowess to Posterity.  
Illustrious Lord, and very brave Commander,  
YEsterday, being St. Lucy's Day, Lopez Ossorio gave me your Lordship's Letter, dated from the Camp before Toledo, with which, in truth, I was extremely pleased, and set a high value upon it, both because writ by such a Hand, and sent from such a Place; for in time of so great Revolution as this, a Gentleman must not write from his House where he is at ease, but the Camp where he is fight. The Priest must value himself on his Surplice, and Countryman on his Blow, but the Gentleman chiefly upon his Sword▪ so that in a well-governed Commonwealth the Priest Prays, Countryman Plows, and Gentleman Fights. A Man is not a Gentleman for being only well born, powerful, rich, and having many Vassals; for a Tradesman may have Qualifications, and a Jew sometimes buys them: But what makes a Man deserve that Character is Moderation in Speaking, Liberality in Giving, Temperance in Eating, Honesty of Life, Easiness in Forgiving, and Valour in Fight. Tho a Man be never so well Born, and possess never so large an Estate, yet if he be lavish of his Tongue, an Epicure, Proud, Malicious, Covetous, Impatient, or a Coward, we may well say he is fitter for the Blow than Sword. Baseness, Sloth, Covetousness, Malice, Falsehood, and Cowardice, are always incompatible with Gentility; for though in a true Gentleman there may be some things found unblamable, yet still there ought to be nothing infamous. There has been no time in our Age so proper for a Man of Honour to show himself as this; for since the King is out of the Kingdom, the Queen sick, Council fled, People in Rebellion, Governors in the Field, and all the Kingdom in an uproar; it is now or never that Gentlemen must labour and expose their Lives to settle their Country, and serve their Prince. Every good Gentleman now turns his Gloves into Gauntlets, Mules into Manag'd-Horses, Buskins into Jack-boots, Hat into a Helmet, Waistcoat into a Coat of Mail, Silks into Armour, Gold into Steel, and his Hunting into Fight; so that he must now value himself not so much on a good Library, as a good Armoury. It is as necessary for public Good that Gentry Arm, as that Clergy put on their Vestments; for as Prayer wipes away our Sins, so Arms frequently deliver us from our Enemies. I have said all this, my Lord Grand Prior, to make you sensible, we know here not only all you do in the Camp, but also all you say. Nevertheless, for your part you have no cause to be concerned, since every body praises your Conduct, and magnifies your Fortune. judas Machabeus is highly commended, for that being once advised by his Men to save himself by flight, when he was about to give Battle, he cried, God forbid we should bring our Fame into question by such Baseness, when we may all die here this day in defence of our Law, vindication of our Brethren, and to avoid living with Infamy. The Greek Historians greatly magnify their King Ogiges, being ready to engage the Lycaonians, and his Men telling him they were very numerous, he answered, The Prince that will command many, must fight many. Anaxandridas, General of the Spartans', being asked, Why his Men chose rather to be killed than taken? answered, Because they are better pleased to die free, than live Slaves. The great Prince Bias being at War with Iphicrates King of the Athenians and falling unawares into an Ambush of his Enemies, his Men, ready to fly, ask, What they should do? he replied, Go tell the Living I die Fight, and I will acquaint the Dead you saved yourselves by Flight. Le●nidas, Son of An●●andridas, and Brother to Cleomenidas, b●ing told by his Men in a Battle, That the Enemy's Arrows flew so thick they even darkened the Sun▪ he readily answered, If their Arrows hide the Sun▪ we shall surely fight in the Shade. Carilus, Fifth King from Lycurgus, being in a pitched Battle against the Athenians, and hearing one of his Captains ask another, Whether he knew the number of the Enemies; he replied for the other, Brave and Courageous Officers must never ask, how many their Enemies are, but where they are; for as the one shows a disposition to run away, the other does only an inclination to fight. Alcibiades, the famous Athenian General, in his Conflict with the Lacedæmonians, hearing his Men cry throughout the Camp, To Arms! to Arms! for we are fallen into the hands of our Enemies, he said, Have Courage, Friends, and fear nothing, for it is not we that are fallen into their hands, but, on the contrary, they into ours. I have thought fit to mention these few Matters of Antiquity, that all that are with you may know, and all that are from you understand, that your Illustrious Lordship well deserves to be ranked among these noble Heroes, since it appears they have outdone you neither in Words or Actions. For we have been lately informed, how those of Toledo making a Sally to surprise a great Convoy going to your Camp; and many of your Men beginning to fly, and advising you to do the like, you, my Lord, like a brave Soldier, and expert Captain, rushed boldly through the thickest of your Enemies, crying out, This way, Gentlemen, this way; for shame! for shame! Victory! Victory! for if we overcome we obtain our desire, and if we die we do but our Duty! Words worthy to be remembered and carved in Letters of Gold upon your Tomb Stone, ●ince that day it appeared you not only killed above Seven with your hand, but also overcame as many thousands by your Valour and Conduct. Tr●gus Pompeius often Remarks, the great Victories obtained by the Romans, were not so much got by the Strength of their Armies, as Prudence of their Generals; and this may the easier be credited, since we daily see the success of a Battle is not so much attributed to the Army that fought, as the General who commanded. The Assyrians boast of their Commander Belus, the Persians of Cyrus, Thebans of Hercules, Hebrews of Machabeus, Greeks of Alcibiades, Trojans of Hector, Egyptians of Ogiges, Epirots of Pyrrhus, Romans of Scipio, Carthaginians of Hannibal, and the Spaniards of Viriatus. This Viriatus was a Native of the Province of Lusitania, (now Portugal;) in his youth he was first a Shepherd, than Farmer, than Highwayman, afterwards a General, and the best and greatest Defender of his Country that ever was. The Roman Authors themselves confess, that in Fifteen years he maintained War against 'em, they could neither kill, take, nor defeat him; whereupon, being unable to subdue him by Force, they, at length, contrived to destroy him by Poison. I thought convenient. My Lord Prior, to put you in mind of this Piece of History, that in this Civil War we are engaged in, you may prove as a new Machabeus among the Hebrews, and a second Viriatus among the Spaniards; and, that as our Enemies may have Matter to relate, we likewise may have a General to commend. Let the conclusion be therefore, that you labour to withstand Vice manfully, as you have hitherto courageously opposed Our Enemies; for, but a few blots in Persons so remarkable as your Lordship, will alone Eclipse the Glory of many Victories. As to what Don Ferdinando de Vega recommended to me in your behalf, That since you signalised yourself so eminently in War, you might not be forgot in my Chronicle; assure your Illustrious Lordship, that if your Sword prove equal to that of Achilles, my Pen shall endeavour to be like that of Homer. No more, but God Bless you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Medina de Rio seco, Febr. 18. 1522.   

LETTER XXIII. To Don Ignigo de Velasco, Constable of Castille; showing, that Anger and Passion ought never to be permitted to reign in the Heart of a Man of Honour; condemning communicating Letters; Instructing how and when to Advise; And lastly, Writing some Iocose News from Court.  
Very Illustrious Lord, and Compassionate Constable,  
I Have reason to say of your Lordship, what the Holy Ghost did of the Synagogue, Curavimus Babyloniam, & non est curata; Ergo relinquamus illam. We have taken care of Babylon, and she would not be healed, therefore let us leave her. I say this, my Lord, because it is a pleasant Jest, when having desired you would not let my Lady Duchess know one word of what I writ, you not only presently showed her my Letter, but were also pleased to make sport with it. Nevertheless, I think I am even with you in that particular, for I immediately communicated yours to the Earl of Nassau; so that if mine served to divert you, yours was as good as a Play among the Flemings, Portuguese, Germans, and Spaniards. It was very proper the Duchess should ridicule my reflecting on her Sex; for I have reason to commend her Discretion, where I must needs blame your Rashness. For the future, I beg your Lordship, not to make so much trial of the worth of my Letters, but having once read, you would either tear, or burn them; for otherwise some Persons may happen to hear or see 'em, who not being over-wise, or good natured, may wrest that to my prejudice, which was designed both for their and your Advantage. But to say no more of this, you tell me, for my sake you are willing to be reconciled to that Gentleman, which I value equally as if you had pardoned me the Affront; being so much my Friend's Friend, that I place to my own account whatever service is done either for him or his Family. Besides, granting my Request, you performed but your Duty, for Princes and great Men are to be so far from doing wrong to others, that they must not so much as revenge Injuries to themselves; for you well know, what in Inferiors is termed Rage, in great Persons is accounted Pride; and farther, what among those is esteemed a just Punishment, among these is reckoned but Revenge. Every time you compare your Nobility and Conscience together, you will be pleased at the Wrongs you have forgiven, and be troubled for the Injuries you have revenged. To pardon Offences is a great Satisfaction, when desire of Revenge carries along with it a heavy Discontent; I mean, that sometimes a Man striving to revenge some small Affront, comes off with great shame. There are Injuries of that nature, they must not only not be revenged, but also not be so much as owned; for Honour is so nice, that whenever a Man confesses an Affront received, he is thereby presently obliged to answer it The Consul Mamilius once ask julius Caesar, What he most valued himself upon, and whereof the memory was most dear to him? Caesar replied, I swear by the Immortal Gods, I deserve Honour on no greater account, nor am so much pleased on any, as pardoning those that wrong me, and rewarding such as serve me. A Sentence worthy of praise, grateful to hear, and fit to imitate; for, though julius Caesar believed like a Heathen, yet he acted as a Christian; When, on the contrary, we believe as Christians, but act like Pagans. It is not without reason I say, we believe as Christians, and live like Pagans; for the malice of Man is now come to that height, that many would forgive their Enemies, but dare not for fear of their Friends; for as soon as one mentions forgiving, they presently ascribe the cause rather to Cowardice, than Conscience. But let every one say what he pleases, in this Affair your Lordship has acquitted yourself both like a good Christian towards God, and a good Friend towards me; and what more can be required in this World, than to be faithful to one's Maker, and true to ones Friend? My Lord, as to the Memorial you sent, containing some Cases of Conscience, as likewise several Points relating to your Estate, I will look over it at leisure, and answer it with deliberation; for I must always endeavour so to give Advice, as no Scruple may afterwards remain on my Conscience. He that asks Council, must be quick and diligent, otherwise it sometimes happens Affairs are so far gone, and in such desperate plight, that there is more need of Violence to redress, than Prudence to Preserve 'em. But, who gives advice is to take a quite contrary method, that is, be very Prudent and very Slow; for, Counsel not given with deliberation, is, for the most part, soon followed by repentance. Plato Writing to Origas the Grecian, has these Words; My Friend Origas, you write me to advise you how to behave yourself in Lycaonia, and yet on the other hand, press for a speedy answer, both which, though you dare ask; yet, I must tell you, I cannot grant: for I'll assure you, I study much more where I am to Counsel my Friends, than when I am to Read to the Philosophers. Counsel is to be asked, and given by a Man of sound Judgement, well Read, who has seen much, had Experience in the like Case, that is not concerned, lest Malice sway him nor self-interested lest Covetousness pervert him; in short, I say, a modest and generous Person, must bestow his Money on his Friends frankly, but his Counsel maturely. Allowing these Condition's requifite in one that is to give Advice, as no doubt they are, we may boldly infer, Counselling is a thing frequently Pactised, but very rarely understood. An unfortunate Man comes to ask Advice of his Friend, on which, perhaps, his Life, Fortune, Honour, or Conscience depends; yet this Friend, without either stirring from his place, or making the least reflection, as positively directs what he is to do, as if he had found it in the Bible. I mention this, Sir, because sometimes you are angry, and fret incessantly, if I do not immediately answer your Letters, and solve your Doubts. As to what you write about Marcus Aurelius, all I can answer is, that I long since translated and presented it to the Emperor, though not perfect, from whom, soon after, Laxao stole it; The Queen got it from Laxao, Tumbas from the Queen, Donna Aldonza from Tumbas, and your Lordship from Donna Aldonza; so that you have all, except his Majesty, unjustly possessed the Fruits of my Labour. The News at Court is, Secretary Cobos is made a Favourite, the Governor of Bresa says nothing, Laxao Mutters, the Admiral Writes, the Duke of Vejar Hoards, the Marquis de Pliego Games, the Marquis de Villafranca Bustles, Count de Osorno Serves, Count Siruela Prays, Count de Buendia Sighs, Gutierre Quixada Exercises, and the Magistrate Ronquillo Lashes. No more, but God Bless you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Madrid, jan. 6. 15●4.   

LETTER XXIV. To the same; wherein is hinted, that a wise Man ought not to trust a Woman with any Secret; occasioned by Communicating a Letter of the Authors.  
Very Illustrious Lord and good Constable,  
DON Diego de Mendoza gave me your Lordship's Yesterday, written with your own Hand, and sealed with your own Seal; but, I could heartily wish you were as careful in concealing mine, as I am prudent in laying up your Letters; for, I know not whether by your Fate, or my Misfortune, I scarce ever write any thing, but what all your Family soon knows. As I am pleased the World should be acquainted I am your Friend, so I am likewise concerned to have any Secret of mine disclosed, and that chiefly, where it is any matter of moment; for, when once your Wife and Children come to understand you advise with me in your most important affairs, they will grievously complain against me, if I do not always direct you to their advantage. My Lady Duchess lately signified to me some distaste, saying, I opposed the business of her House of Tovarle; but which, notwithstanding your Lordship knows, I neither so much as spoke or thought of; and I hope you will be my security, that I value myself much more upon persuading Men to be Generous and Virtuous, than by intermeddling with their Estates. You know, my Lord, whenever you come to confession, or ask my Council, I always tell you, a Gentleman is obliged to pay what he owes, and distribute what he has; and, that it is both requisite to use conscience in Paying, and to be Prudent in Giving. If any thing more passes between us, it is below your Grandeur, and little suiting with my Authority to suffer it to be revealed; for, matters of so great consequence, and which, require so much secrecy, tho' we cannot altogether prevent Surmises, we may at least take care they be not throughly known. Your letting fall some Words, or dropping some Letter of mine, must needs be the cause my Lady Duchess was so offended, and I do not at all wonder she should; for, neither understanding your Words, nor my Language, she might well fly into a passion till undeceived. Believe me, my Lord Constable, you must never trust Women with secrets, for they will discover any thing only to gain a better reputation with the World. I look upon those Husbands less Fools that hide money from their Wives, than that trust them with Secrets; for in Money they only hazard their Fortune, but with Secrets they likewise venture their Honour. The Consul Quintus Furius discovered all Catilines Conspiracy to Fulvia Torquata, a Roman Lady, who told it to a Friend of hers; and so from Hand to Hand it soon came to be known to all the City; whereby Quintus Furius quickly lost his Life, and Catiline both Life and Reputation. Hence you may collect, it is not only unfit to trust that Sex with matters of high concern, but also to discourse of 'em in their hearing; for, as it is no advantage to them to know, so it may be a great prejudice to their Husbands to have 'em known. It is not to be thought, much less said, that all Women are alike in this particular; for many, it is well known, are Discreet, Modest, Virtuous and Close, and some Husbands so very Weak and Foolish, that it were much safer to trust the Women than such Men; Yet, without wronging the Ladies that are Discreet and can keep Council, to speak in general, I affirm, they are, for the most part, much fitter to Breed and Educate Children, than to be confided in. To conclude, I warn you for the future, not to talk before any Man, much less Woman, of those things we have debated and agreed upon, lest it may both occasion you Trouble and me Disgrace. There is nothing at present new at Court, only, that I am a little angry at what you did, and something astonished at what your Duchess writ. Wherefore, I beseech you, as my Lord, and command you as my Godson, that you reconcile me speedily to your Lady or, instantly discharge me your Family. No more, but God preserve you, and give me Grace to serve Him.  
Valladolid, Aug. 8. 1526.   

LETTER XXV. To the same, containing many Pleasan and Profitable Remarks on Nobility of Birth, Stature of Body, Long Prayers, and Tedious Sermons; as likewise hinting the Brevity used by the Ancients in Writing.  
Very Illustrious Sir,  
I Received your Lordship's Letter of the 30th of September, on the 4th of October, in this City of Valladolid, and considering the great distance betwixt us, and short time it was on the way, I am of opinion, had it been a Trout it had come fresh enough. Pyrrhus K. of Epirus was the first that invented Posts, wherein he was so extraordinary diligent, that having 3 Armies on Foot at a time, in three several Countries, and he residing at Tarentum, News was brought him from Rome in a Day, from France in Two, Germany in Three, and Asia in Five; so that his Messengers seemed rather to Fly than Ride. The Heart of Man is so very fond of Novelties, that the more strange and new the thing it apprehends, the more pleased and delighted it is; for, as all that is old nauseates, so what is new still provokes our Appetites the more. You that are Great have this advantage over Inferiors, that you can soon write to what place you please, and hear from thence almost as speedily: But nevertheless, I believe sometimes it so falls out, that what is brought in three Days, you would not care to have heard in three Years. There is no Pleasure, Content, nor Satisfaction in this World, but which are allayed with some inconveniencies; for, in one Day we often pay for all we have Feasted on and enjoyed in many. My Lord, you have good reason to value your Gentleman, Mosen Rubin, who, I find, by the date of yours, Travelled hard, and Slept but little; for when I received it, 'twas so very fresh, the Ink was scarce dry. You write me, to inform you what is the cause, that I, who am born of an ancient Family, am of a tall Stature, make such long Memento's at Mass, and Preach such tedious Sermons, should be so short in my Letters, especially my last from the Monastery of Fresdelval; which, you say, had not above Four Sentences, and Eight Lines. But, however, in this you now write, you furnish me with sufficient occasion not to be so short in my answer; therefore if I be rather tedious, impute it more to my desire to comply with you than gratify my own wishes. As to your Quaeres; first, touching the antiquity of my Family; your Lordship well knows, my Grandfather's Name was Don Beltran de Guevara; my Fathers, the same; my Uncles, Don Ladron de Guevara; and mine, Don Antonio de Guevara; and, you are not likewise ignorant, there were Earls in our Family, before Kings in Castille. This Family of Guevara came formerly out of Brittany, and is now divided into Six distinct Houses; which are, the Count de Onate, at Alava; Don Ladron de Guevara, at Valdallega; Don Pedro Veler de Guevara, at Salinas; Don Diego de Guevara, at Paradilla; Don Carlos de Guevara, at Murcia; and Don Beltran de Guevara, at Morata; all which are Men of worth as to their Persons, though they possess but indifferent fortunes; so that is plain, those of my Family value themselves more on their ancient descent, than greatness of Estates. For, a Man to be well descended from Noble Progenitors, and an ancient stock, is a great addition to his Honour, and no impediment to his Salvation; For, as Infamy inclines Men to despair, Honour always stirs 'em up to mend. Christ would not come from the Tribe of Benjamin which was the least, but the mighty ones of juda, the greatest and Noblest. There was a Law among the Romans, called Prosapia, (of Genealogies) which ordained in case there happened any Dispute about the Consulship▪ those who descended from the Silvij, Torquati, and Fabricij should be always preferred; and the reason was, because, they were the most Ancient and Renowned Families in Rome. Those descended from Lycurgus at Lacedaemon; Cato at Utica; Agesilaus in Licaonia, and Thucydides in Galatia did not only enjoy especial Privileges in their own Countries, but were also honoured by all Nations; and that, not so much for Merit of the the Living, as Deserts of their Ancestors, the Dead. It was also a Law established in Rome, that none of the Race of the Tarquini, Escauri, Catilinii, Fabati, and Bitini should ever have any Command, or so much as live within the Walls of that City; and this, only in hatred to King Tarquin, the Consul Escaurus, Tyrant Catiline, Censor Fabatus, and Traitor Bitinus; all who, had been great Oppressors and Enemies of their Country. This I have thought fit to mention, My Lord, in regard it is a great shame to be Vicious when well Descended; when on the contrary, To be both well Bo●n and Act well is a great Honour; for Men are altogether unlike Wine, which, sometimes tastes of the Cask, and sometimes of the Grape. Valour never to fly, Generosity in giving, Modesty in speaking, Resolution in daring, and Easiness in forgiving, are Qualities and Virtues seldom met with in base Extraction, whilst they are very common amongst Honourable Families. As the World now goes, when every body is prying into, and overlooking his Neighbours Concerns, methinks it is a great happiness to be well descended; for he will still have something to value himself upon, when others may want the contrary, to upbraid him with. You say, My Lord, that of Body I am tall, slender, and very straight; upon which Properties I may rather boast, than think the worse of myself: for tall, dry, and straight Timber is always most esteemed, and sold dearest. Had bigness of Body been displeasing to God, he would never have made Pallas the Numidian, Hercules the Grecian, Milo the Italian, Samson the Hebrew, Pindar the Theban, Hemonius the Corinthian, nor Goliath the Philistian; all who were of such vast and prodigious Bulks, that others, in comparison, looked like Locusts. The first King of Israel, from the Shoulders upwards, was taller than any in his Kingdom. julius Caesar was tall and lean, though not over Beautiful. Of the Emperor Augustus it is said, he was so very tall, he gathered Fruit from high Trees standing on the Ground. It is also Recorded of Sylla, that he used to stoop at all Doors he came in at. Livy relates, Scipio Africanus was so large of Stature, that as none equalled him in Courage, so no body exceeded him in Height. Plutarch writes of Alexander the Great, that according to the Grandeur of his Heart, the World seemed to have enough in him, and he thought all the World too little for him. Of two Inconveniencies, to be tall or very short, the least is that of the former, since a long Coat is soon cut shorter, when that which is too short can never ●e pieced, without being scandalous. Alonso Enriquez, Alvar Gomez, Salaya, Valderravano, and Figueroa, are all Men of small Stature, but no small Courage; whenever I meet them about Court, they seem to be always Proud, Peevish, and Angry, but which I do not at all wonder at, since little Chimneys are soon apt to smoke. I met t'other day in the Monastery De los Toros de Guisardo, with a very little Friar, who because I called him three times successively, chid me very severely; whereupon I told him, he had but very little Patience; To which he surlily answered, I had much less good Manners; I entreated him earnestly to give me some Drink, and cease Chiding; To which he answered, Though you see me, you do not kn●w me, and I must inform y●u, so little as you think me, yet I am as hard as Steel, and if such great unweildly Fellows as you speak to me by day, they as certainly dream of me at night; for I was measured but lately, and my Heart seemed to be by five yards longer than my Body. To this I replied, It is very requisite Father, your Heart should be five yards in length, since your whole Body is not above two cubits and half in height. Upon this, indeed, the Friar gave over quarrelling, yet left me without my Drink. Believe me, My Lord, short Pieces is soon burst, small Towns are easiest besieged, many People drowned in shallow Seas, more lost in narrow Ways, straight clothes soon rend, little Men are soon angry, and small Beasts not so strong or graceful as large; For the Elephant, Dromedary, Ox, Buffalo, and Horse, being great and bulky Creatures, are also serviceable in their Kind's; when the Flea, Mouse, Lizard, Fly, and Grasshopper only molest, and are of no use to us at all. You also upbraid me, My Lord, wi●h being too tedious at Mass, and making long Memento's; Whereupon I assure your Lordship, if I am long at Mass, you also are n●t over-sparing of Talking: for I have often 〈◊〉 you begin a Discourse, which I have never yet dared stay to see ended. I always endeavour to suit the Memento's of my Mass to the Sins of my Life, and think it but Reason, where I Offend so much, I should not Pray a little. The C●eator and Redeemer of the World was moderate in all things, except Prayer, but in that he spent much time; which appears by his Orisons in the Garden of Gethsemani, where the heavier the Agony grew, the longer and more earnestly he Prayed.— Your Lordship also complains, my Sermons are Long and Tiresome; To which I answer, no Sermon can possibly be so, where the Hearers assist rather like Christians than Critics. I remember last Lent, when I was with your Lordship, some Salmon of Penamelera were presented you, which you said were good, but very small, so that I find, my Lord, a Salmon can never be long enough, nor Sermon too short for you. It is now Eight and thirty years since I first came to this Court, where I have known every thing increase, except Sermons, which always continue at one stay: The reason, I suppose, being, that more time is spent in Eating, more allowed for Sleeping, clothes take up more Cloth, Garments are more costly, and Men more Vicious; in fine, no bounds are prescribed to talking any thing else, only a Sermon must not exceed an hour. As to what your Lordship says of my shortness in Writing, I answer, That in my Opinion there needs nothing to Talk well but a quick Wit, where a great deal of Judgement is required to Write so; for to know whether a Man have Sense or be Mad, there can be no better trial than putting a pair of Spurs on his Heels, or Pen into his Hand. I confess I am generally larger in every thing than Writing, which I do not repent of, since I can recall a Word spoken, but can never deny my Hand. To speak any thing silly, is heedless; but to put one's Hand to it, extreme folly. Sallust says, if Catiline and his Accomplices had not signed the Conspiracy, though accused, they could never have been condemned; by which it appears, the Pen kills sometimes as well as the Sword. If Laertius, Plutarch, Pliny, Vegetius, Vulpicius, and Eutropius, do not deceive us in their Histories, many Poets, Orators, Philosophers, Kings, and Great Men, in former Ages, were very copious in Discourse, but at the same time exceeding brief and correct in Writing. Caes●r, in a Letter writ to Rome from the Persian War, had only these Words, Veni, Vidi, Vici. Augustus' Writing to his Nephew Cajus Drusus, says only, Now you are in Illyria, remember you are one of the Caesars, were sent by the Senate, are young, my N●phew, and a Citizen of Rome. Tiberius' writ to his Brother Germanicus in this manner, The Temples are Venerated, Gods Served, the Senate is Unanimous, Commonwealth Prosperous, Rome Healthy, Fortune Favourable, and the Year Plentiful; This is what occurs in Italy, the same we wish to you in Asia. Cicero writes to Cornelius thus, Rejoice that I am not sick, and I shall be glad to hear you are well. Divine Plato writing from Athens to Dionysius, has only these Words; To kill your Brother, impose new Forces, oppress your People, forget your Friends, and to be an Enemy to Phocio, are actions that savour of a Tyrant. Pompey the Great writ from the East to the Senate after this manner; Damascus is taken, Pentapolis subdued, Syria made a Colony, Arabia become Confederate, and Palestine Conquered. The Consul Anneus Silvius writing of the Battle of Pharsalia to Rome, says, Caesar overcame, Pompey died, Rufus fled, Cato killed himself, the Dictatorship is at an end, and Liberty lost. This, My Lord, was the Method used by the Ancients in Writing to their Familiar Friends, so that where their Brevity is worthy to be imitated, our Tediousness ought to be no less Censured. God keep you, and give me Grace to Serve him.  
Valladolid, Oct. 8. 1525.   
FINIS.   

THE TABLE.  

LETTER I. TO Messer Perepollastre, an Italian, the Author's Friend; exposing a Calumny cast upon him, and defending his Innocence. Page 1.  
LET. II. To Dr. Melgar, a Physician; in which are handled the good and harm occasioned by his Profession, together with the Progress and several Interruptions of that Art; as also the Author's thoughts of it from its first Original. p. 11.  
LET. III. To a Lady, the Author's Niece, who fell sick for the Death of a little Bitch. p. 32.  
LET. IU. To the Magistrate Nunnio Tellio, concerning the Qualifications of a true Friend. p. 38.  
LET. V. To the Abbot of Monserrat; in which he treats of the Oratories of the Ancients, together with some few Reflections on the Court. p. 43.  
LET. VI To a particular Friend of the Author's, advising him not to be covetous and griping, illustrated with severe Reflections on that Vice. p. 48.  
LET. VII. To Don Henrique Henriquez; in answer to several pleasant questions. p. 55.  
LET. VIII. To the Duke of Alva; of Sickness and its Benefits. p. 60.  
LET. IX. To Don John Parelloso; that we may be serviceable to Women in their Husband's absence, but are not to visit 'em. p. 65.  
LET. X. To Don Hernando de Toledo; concerning what the Egyptians were wont to do for their dead Friends. p. 69.  
LET. XI. To Dr. Colonel, his familiar Friend; in Answer to some Demands. p. 74.  
LET. XII. To Don Pedro Giron; in which the Author gives some hints of the Ancients manner of writing; but chiefly consisting of jocular Reflections on a bad Scribe. p. 77.  
LET. XIII. To Don Alonzo Manriquez, Archbishop of Sevill, and Don Antonio Manriquez, Duke of Najara; upon their choosing him to decide a controversy between them; wherein he wittily exposes their Ignorance, declares which was Numantia, and which Saguntum; and moreover, relates both Origin and Destruction of the former. p. 85.  
LET. XIV. To Don Alonso de Albornoz; showing it sign of ill breeding not to answer a Letter; also laying down the dangers of Matrimony; and likewise, containing some pleasant News from Court. The whole embellished with biting Raileries and serious Reflections. p. 97.  
LET. XV. To Don Diego de Camina; how all Men are subject to Envy. p. 103.  
LET. XVI. To Don John de Moncada; Describing Anger, and Extolling Patience. p. 108.  
LET. XVII. To the Ambassador Don Geronimo Vique; showing the ill effects of overmuch liberty. p. 116.  
LET. XVIII. To Dr. Micersumier, Regent of Naples; in answer to several Moral Questions. p. 122.  
LET. XIX. To the Governor Don Lewis Bravo; occasioned by his falling in Love in his old Age: being a familiar satire on such fruitless attempts; as likewise a serious warning to all Old Men not to go beyond their strength. p. 129.  
LET. XX. To the same; concerning the Qualities required in an Old Man; As also, how difficult it is to remove Love from a Heart, where it has once taken root; Nevertheless prescribing some few Remedies against it. p. 135.  
LET. XXI. To Don Alonso Espinel Corregidor of Oviedo, a very Neat and Pleasant old Gentleman; wherein the Author hints, how much the Ancients always honoured Age; together with several Privileges peculiar to old People; exceeding pleasant, and no less Reforming. p. 144.  
LET. XXII. To Don Antonio de Zuniga, Prior of St. ●ohn's; informing him, that though a Gentleman ●e subject to Failings, he ought to be guilty of nothing Dishonourable; With several Encomiums on this Prior's Valour in his Command at the Siege of Toledo: As likewise a Promise to recommend his Prowess to Posterity.  
LET. XXIII. To Don Ignigo de Velasco, Constable of Castille; showing, that Anger and Passion ought never to be permitted to reign in the Heart of a Man of Honour; condemning communicating Letters; Instructing how and when to Advise; And lastly, Writing some Iocose News from Court. p. 167.  
LET. XXIV. To the same; wherein is hinted, that a wise Man ought never to trust a Woman with a Secret; occasioned by Communicating a Letter of the Authors. p. 172.  
LET. XXV. To the same, containing many Pleasant and Profitable Remarks on Nobility of Birth, Stature of Body, Long Prayers, and Tedious Sermons; as likewise hinting the Brevity used by the Ancients in Writing. p. 175.   
FINIS.