Guido Faux Revived: OR, THE MONKS LATE Hellish Contrivances Exposed. Being a full Account of the Horrid Bloody Designs of the Papists, at their Mass-House Convent Chapel IN St. JOHNES'.  
TO Enumerate the Secret Plots, Public Cruelties, and Private Conspiracies of our Indefatigable Enemies, the Papists, would be a labour as unnecessary, as their Contrivances are endless: Those, as they are the Design of Ages, would be the Subject of Volumes, being not able to be comprehended in so narrow a Circumference, as the following Narration. As for Instance.  
The Violence of the Rabble at St. Jones' exceeding even the Insolence of the Tumults so much exclaimed at by the Royal Martyr, and of as fatal Consequence, as it is the dreadful Object of our Eyes, so it is the Subject of our present Discourse, which is a True and Genuine Account of all the Secret Plots, Machine's, and Bloody Engines, which are pretended to be discovered by the Rabble in the Popish Chapel, their unreasonable Grounds and Jealousies, and the unavoidable Fate, which generally attend such Rash and Precipitous Undertake.  
This Indigested Lump, the Rabble, animated by some Zealous Whisperers, made their first Approaches on Sunday Morning, the Eleventh Instant at St. Jones', resolving to pull down the Chapel of the Benedictines there, newly Erected in the Lord Bertlett's House: This Celebrated Structure, which at present consisted but of two Persons and Servants, was designed for a Convent, which ought rather to be a Wall of Defence against their Assaults, than an Inlet to the Multitude. In all Ages the Temples of the Gods were in great Veneration, and Cyrus' attempt, to rob the Temple of Jupeter Ammon, was but the loss of the Sacrilegious Undertakers, who lay buried in the Ruins; but these Fairies, or rather Furies of the Night, yet more audaucious, assault the Gates, and the Knot, which like Alexander, they could not with ease untie, with Violence cut, having forced their Passage through the Tiles and Glass and Windows; after which they discovered several terrible Engines, which were enough to scare Men of the greatest Resolution and Conduct, out of their Seven Senses. For Example.  

First, Three large Caldrons, or Boilers, of such prodigious Depth and Circumference, that they could easily boil a Thousand Heretics in it at one time, and not one of them hear the other cry.  
Secondly, Grid-Irons, as large as the Bowlling-Green at Marrowbone, so that Four several Companies, one at every Corner, besides Two in the Middle, might fry all Day as patienrly, as St. Laurence, without disturbing one another.  
Thirdly, Several Iron Spits of a vast Extent, some as long, as the Maypole in the Strand, others at the Mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, where Dissenters might roast in Couples, as quietly as Cased Rabbits.  
Fourth. A Vault, which reached from the said Popish Chapel, as far as Chick-lane, in which were discovered (by an Eye of Providence to the blind Rabble) Guido Faux with his Dark Lantern, Martialling his dreaeful Artillery of Gunpowder Matches, and Fire-Balls, which was far more formidable than a Gunpowder Plot, to blow up the Lord and Commons of the Rabble, that sat Triumphant on the Roof of the House.  
Fifth. As many Cart Loads of Links, as would serve to convey the King's Carriages into the West: These were destined (by way of Exquisite Torture) for Heretics, to extort Confession placing them lighted under their Feet, Arms, Hands and Thighs, like the Saints formerly at Amboyna, though others believe they were rather Sausages to tie about the Dissenters while they were Roasting upon the Spits.  
Sixth. Several Hundreds of Chopping Knives, and other Engines to reduce the Reversion into Minced meat, to make a Ragoo.   
These with many others, as Iron Whips, Rods of Steel, and Cats with Nine Tails (no less terrible than those of a Spanish Armado) were Discovered in this Chapel by the short sighted Rabble, who see all things double, and yet can discern no further than they can throw a Millstone.  
No matter; a Plot's Discovered, and the Conspirators must suffer, right or wrong: The next day being Monday, the Second Assault was made which proved more fatal; the Trained Bands and Guards being scarce able to suppress their Fury, till some of them fell a just Sacrifice to the defending Party; some Desperadoes were killed in the Attempt, and many of the Guards wounded by the Rabble; nor did their Fury end here, but Order was given for the removing of the Goods which were conveyed away by the Guards to keep off the encroaching Assailants, yet this was not done so closely, but that the Rabble seized upon some Carts, out of which taking all the Goods, they made a Bonfire in Holborn, without distinction; having no more mercy for an Holy Relic, than Sir William Waller for a Crucifix.  
Thus far the Violence and Groundless Jealousies of the Rabble transported them beyond all degrees of Report or Reason: It is now our Province to unriddle this Sphinx and show in short upon what slender suggestions they laid the Foundation of all these Tumults.  
As for the Cauldrons, there was indeed one small Boiler which was no more than of a common size, a such as is made use of for the ordinary Service of a Family. Another small one there was for the same Use, in a New House adjoining, and a Thi●d, which was somewhat larger which belonged to the Lord Bertlet's Family, when he kept a Bagnio in his House, which being old and of no use, was laid in a low Room, into which they threw all their old Lead, Iron; and Lumber in the repairing of the House.  
One Grid-Iron indeed there was; but of a very small size, and very unfit for the use the Rabble pretended. The ground of this Suspicion, (and what might give some Cause to the deluded Multitude) was, that there were found in the Cellar, Two Iron Window Frames, which formerly belonged to my Lord Bertlett, and of no other Use, but as Old Iron.  
There were also, a Couple of Spits; but of no other Size, or Quality; but such as are commonly used in a Family.  
As for Links, or Flambeaus, there were never yet, Two in the House at one time.  
For the Vaults, and Barrels of Gun Powder; they are like the Blank Commissions, or the Doctor's Black-Bills, or Army of Spanish Pilgrims hid under Ground.  
By this short Narrative, you may discern, to what desperate Attempts, and on what Groundless Occasions, the Fury of an incensed Rabble will transport them. All Ages afford us sad Instances, even before the bold Massaliano to our own Days; who, from so small a Number at first, often bring a whole Land to Desolation, if not timely prevented? which cannot better be done, than by observing the Wise Rules, and Prudent Conduct of our Chief Magistrate, and Court of Aldermen; who, upon the like Disturbances, have made an Act of Common Council, strictly enjoining all Masters of Families upon Penalty to keep in their Servants upon such an Occasion, for by preventing the Cause, the effects may cease.  
FINIS.   

LICENCED, November the 16th, 1688.   

London, Printed for W. Beale, 1688.