A Letter from an Honourable Person in LONDON, To a small Friend of his in LANCASHIRE, containing the Character of a certain constant Practiser of Rebellion, now pretending to Loyalty.  
Sir,  
I Have lately been injured by, some indignities of Language, and slanderous reports, raised by a thing of so despicable a same, and dirty reputation, that 'tis below an Oyster-wives Tongue, and a footman's cudgel to undertake my revenge, and, indeed, there is not any thing infamous enough to be instrumental therein, besides yourself, and the Common Hangman, for this reason, I now address to you for justice, it being as absolutely in your power to do me right, as if you had been the Man that had done the wrong, I cannot point him out to you by his proper name, for 'tis so Ugly and loathsome, that, should I attempt to write it, my Pen would nauseate, and disgorge itself in a blot, but I shall represent him to you in a character so peculiarly his own, that you shall know him as insallibly thereby, as if you beheld him in your looking-glass.  
He is one who is by nature the Child of wrath and fury, of a choleric constitution, suddenly angered, slowly appeased, and never cordially reconciled. He is of a busy meddling humour, which, keeps him in perpetual motion, and gets him the repute not of an industrious, but a pragmatical, person, who applies himself to other men's troubles, as flies do to horse's sores, to draw a nourishment out of them, or if, by interessing himself, he chance to prove serviceable, is but as dog's heal-wounds by licking them, to which they are moved, not out of charity to the patient, but by the licorishness of their own palate. He is of a haughty imperious disposition, and a violent persecutor of any Man that shall dare to live near him, with, a less proportion of Land and power, and a larger talon of honesty and ingenuity than himself.  
He sat long at the Receipt of Custom, and resolved to keep the seat, as the strong man in the Gospel kept the house, till a stronger than he came, and thinks that, if St. Matthew had understood the Office as well as he, he would not have left it upon a bare call. He believes himself to be a perfect Politician, and endeavours to make others of the same faith, by the frequent use of a subtle wink and a nod, such as Machiavelli tells us were observable, in the grand Master of policy, Caesar of Borgia. 'Twas from the same Evangelist St. Machiavelli, that he learned to deport himself in point of religion, which is, to carry as much of it in his face as the precifest, and as little of it in his heart as the profanest. His education was behind the Counter of a certain seller of linen, whose accursed spawn we find in the List of the Brethren in blood, who decreed the Butchery of their sovereign. From this young Master of his, he learned the Rudiments of Rebellion with much docility; and perceiving it a readier way to rise by Treason, than by his Trade, he relinquished this, and practised the other with much industry. His first Essay was to betray his Brother in bonds, his fellow Apprentice; and soon after, he put near a thousand pound cheat upon his Father, and Elder Brother, according to the flesh, and called it good service to God and the State, because they wished well to the King.  
At length to show himself a complete rebel, he appears one, tam Marte quam Mercurio, polemic as well as a politic: he gets a Commission to raise a troup, and being a Man of a discreet Charity (which ever begins at home) he first raises himself, by raising some hundreds of pounds, and then about half a hundred men, with whom he desperately marches to Cromwell's Camp in Scotland, and conceiving it to be two men's office to conduct soldiers, and to fight them, he pretends to have left his spanner behind him, posts back to fetch it, marries a wife, and so could not come any more into Scotland.  
Shortly, after he acts the part of a Mephistophilus, or a minor intelligencer in his native region, to the grand Beelzebub then at White-Hall, and in that diabolical employment he showed himself well versed in the very metaphysics of knavery, now called Trepannery: he would by, forged Letters, and treacherous messengers ensnare men into a discovery of their affection to their true Prince, and then persecute them as traitors to the Usurper.  
And he was never so dangerous, as when he invited 〈◊〉 to dine with him, or himself to dine with you, when he dipped his hand in the dish with you, he was sure to betray you, but this had like to have cost him dear, for had his classical face been, as it seemed, true Elder: his nose had lately been sequestered from it by the hand of a 
* One of that name pulled him by the note and kicked his breech in London streets.  Carpenter, but it proved as right brass, as Friar Bacon's, magical head, and will shortly suffer, the like confusion, uttering the same last and Lamentable words. My time is past.  
But in his foresaid office he now affirms that he did his majesty service for he oft times gave in false information, and that, indeed, must needs be consesed: but it was only then, when he could raise no persecution to the Cavaliers by any that was true. And though he has hitherto been a Soul to the King's friends, not only in exercising his own rage against them, but in accusing and supplanting such persons as were civil towards them, yet now, moved by the turn of affairs, and not the conversion of his own heart, he would needs appear a Paul, and, having sold a horse to one who appeared in the Cheshire engagement, ● 0. s. under the rate, he calls it a service to his Majesty, and having trepanned the pens of 2. or 3. Noble personages, to subscribe a favourable Certificate; with as much modesty as merit, he puts in for a reward, as if the King were obliged to do good for evil only, and to love none but his Enemies, and to take the Coats from his friends, to bestow them on those who have already robbed them of their Cloaks. By such subtle contrivances and artifices he has now got himself into a very good condition, though no good condition could ever get into him. Sir, by this time, I conceive, you apprehend who is signified by the Character, as well as David did by Nathan's parable: and you cannot but acknowledge, that it is absolutely in your power to give him a punishment proportionable to his guilt, and to disable him to practise any farther mischief, and that by the precedent of a King-killing Alderman, you may Hoyl him up, and thereby purchase more love and fame, then by all the former actions of your Life. 'Twill render you immortal, and (as the song has it) From you ●●●ll that is human, 'twill take, 'twill ease you ' from all thoughts and sighs for an Act of Oblivion, as wide as your offences, for ' twill●●●ng you to the Land where all things are forgotten. I hope, the prickings of your own, conscience will prevail with you to effect it, and so by saving my pen the pains of rhetoric to persuade you to do it, oblige me to employ it in a panegyprick, when it is done. A word is enough to the wise; that is, to you.  
From your faithful adviser. J. G.