A General sale of Rebellious Householdstuff.  
To the Tune of, Old Simon the King.  

REbellion hath broken up House,  
and hath left me old lumbar to sell,  
Come hither and take your choice,  
I'll promise to use you well.  
Will you buy the Old Speakers Chair,  
which is warm and easy to sit in,  
And oftentimes has been made clean  
when as it was fouler than fitting.  
Says old Simon the King,  
says old Simon the King,  
With his threadbare clothes, and his mamsey nose,  
sing hay ding, ding, a ding, ding.   

Will you buy any Bacon-Flitches,  
they're the fattest that ever was spent,  
They're the sides of the old Committees  
fed up with the long Parliament.  
Here's a pair of Bellows and Tongues,  
and for a small Matter I'll sell 'em,  
They're made of the Presbyters Lungs,  
to blow up the Coals of Rebellion.  
Says old etc.   

I had thought to have given them once  
to some Blacksmith for his Forge,  
But now I have considered on't,  
they're consecrated to th' Church:  
For i'll give them to some Choir,  
to make the Organs to roar,  
And the little Pipes squeak higher  
than ever they did before.  
Says old etc.   

Here's a couple of Stools for sale,  
the one square, and t'other is round,  
Betwixt them both the Tail  
of the RUMP fell unto the ground,  
Will you buy the States-Council-table,  
which was made of the good Wain- Scot,  
The Frame was a tottering Babble,  
to uphold the Independent Plot,  
Says old etc.   

Here's the Besom of Reformation,  
which should have made clean the floor  
But it swept the wealth out of the Nation,  
and left us Dirt good store.  
Will you buy the State's spinning-wheel,  
which spun for the Ropers trade?  
But better it had stood still,  
for now it has spun a fair thread.  
says old etc.   

Here's a very good Clyster-Pipe,  
which was made of a Butcher's stump,  
And ofttimes it hath been used  
to cure the Colds of the RUMP.  
Here's a Lump of Pilgrim-Salve,  
which once was a Justice of Peace,  
Who Nol and the Devil did serve,  
but now it is come to this.  
says old etc.   

Here's a Roll of State's Tobacco,  
if any good fellow will take it,  
It's neither Virginia nor spanish,  
but I'll tell you how they do make it:  
'tis Covenant mixed with Engagement,  
with an Abjuration Oath;  
And many of those that do take it,  
complain it is foul in the Mouth.  
says old etc.   

Yet the Ashes may Happily serve  
to cure the scab of the Nation,  
When they have an Itch to serve  
Rebellion by Innovation.  
A Lantern here is to be bought,  
the like was scarce e'er begotten.  
For many a Plotted has found out  
before they ever were thought on.  
says old etc.   

Will you buy the RUMP's great saddle,  
which once did carry the Nation,  
And Here's the Bit and the Bridle,  
and Curb of Dissimulation,  
Here's the Breeches of the RUMP,  
with a fair dissembling Cloak,  
And a Presbyterian Jump,  
and an Independent smock.  
says old etc.   

Here's oliver's Brewing Vessels,  
and here's his Dray and his Slings;  
Here's Hewsons' Awl and his Bristles,  
with divers other odd things.  
And what doth the price belong  
to all these Matters before ye,  
I'll sell them all for an old song,  
and so I do end my story.  
Says old Simon the King,  
says old Simon the King,  
With his threadbare clothes and his mamsey Nose,  
sing hay ding, ding, a ding, ding.    

London, Printed for Allen Banks, 1688.