Hewson Reduced: OR, THE SHOEMAKER RETURNED TO HIS TRADE.  
BEING A SHOW, Wherein is represented the HONESTY, IN OFFENSIVENESS, and INGENUITY of that PROFESSION, when 'tis kept within its own Bounds, and goes not beyond the Last.  
Written by a true Friend to the gentle CRAFT.  
LONDON, Printed for Austin Rice in St. Paul's Churchyard. 166●   


Actorum nomina.  
PROLOGUS a Shoemaker.  
EPILOGUS a Shoemaker.  
Boot, a Traveller.  
SPUR, boot Men.  
PUMP, boot Men.  
SHOE, a Citizen.  
SHOESTRING, boot Page.  
SLIPPER, a Chamberlain.  
PROLOGUS, a Shoemaker bringing in Boots, Shoes, Slippers, and Pumps.    

Gentlemen,  
You must understand that a Shoemaker is the Show-maker. I have been two days making a pair of Boots, Shoes, Slippers, and Pumps; and they had not been done yet, but that I went through stitch with Aule. These Boots methinks should fit any man, but those that are too big in the Calf; these Shoes will pinch no man, but he that is troubled with Corns: these Pumps will fit any man, but those that hold Dancing superstitious; these Slippers will please any man I am sure, but he that is out at the Heels: however I'll go presently and put them on; only thus much I'll speak in my own defence. 
Muse not we speak of such like things as these,  
We shallow Wits wade not above the knees:  
These lowly things I hope will not distaste;  
Men of our Trade go not beyond the Last.    
Enter PUMP. 
HE that hath served in the Office of a Footman so long as I have done, though ne'er so light at first, (ere the year go about) shall be a heavy man. Sure I was born to run as long as I breath: but if the way had not been so dirty, I would have showed my Master a fair pair of Heels; but if he send me again to run such a way, I will run quite away. I have come to day further, than I hope I shall go to morrow: for Mr. Boot will be sure to have his Liquor before he goes out of Town. My Master hath sent me before to provide his Inn, but I'll meet with him anon for't; I'll go to the Sign of the Leg, there is my old friend Slipper: The sign of the Leg is either in Shoemaker Row, or in Hosier Lane.  Pump. 
Shoemaker Row, or in Hosier Lane? I shall know by this it is a Leg in Print, and see by good luck I have stumbled of the Leg; first in step: What, so ho, Chamberlain?  Slip. 
Anon, anon, Sir (intus.)  Pump. 
It is the trick of these Chamberlains never to do any thing at the first word: What, Chamberlain, Come away.  Slip. 
Anon, anon, Sir; What, my old Companion pump, with whom I dwelled, so long? Let Slip. embrace thee.  Pump. 
I am glad old Slip. to see thy heels at liberty, but I'll tell thee what, my Master Boot is at the next Town by this time.  Slip. 
He shall be welcome; in faith he is a good Guest, he'll come off roundly, and therefore Slip. will be always ready for him.  Pump. 
Come, let's see a Chamber presently.  Slip. 
I, presently; I know Mr. Boot is a neat fellow, and therefore he shall have a very neat Chamber. Exit Slip.  Pump. 
Make haste again: I never felt myself so weary in all my life; I perceive now poor Pump, thou art passed the best, such another Journey as this will quite wear thee out. Enter Slip.  Slip. 
I know Pump thou art dry, come follow me into the Room, and there Pump I'll give thee a slash.  Pump. 
Do thy worst: Pump will never refuse good Liquor.  Slip. 
I think our Trades are both alike one the other, for Chamberlains and Footmen get their living by running up and down.  Pump. 
Nay, soft, the Footman hath the better, for he may go before his Master.  Slip. 
Why, are not Chamberlains men of great calling? every one that hath to do with them, shall find them men of good reckoning.  Pump. 
Faith Slip. there you go o'er me, and besides this, Footmen are very provident, for be their Master ne'er so wise, they must rise betimes if they will over reach them.  Slip. 
Faith Chamberlains are as cunning, for they have always a trick to deceive their Masters, for if they be above, they will under-mine them, if below, they will be sure to come over them.  Pump. 
Well, Slipper, P. will not fall out with thee; we will drown our quarrels in this Glass of drink.  Slip. 
What? Mother Jeers Round? one to another?  Enter Boot and Spur. Boot. 
Come Spurco, where art thou?  Spur. 
Hard at your heels, Sir.  B. 
Faith but for thee I should not have got to my Journeys end to night.  S. 
Faith Master we were fain to prick on hard: Spurco did his best to set you forward.  Bo. 
Well-said Spur, I see that thou art all mettle.  Sp. 
Yet as soon as you come to your Journeys end, you cast me off.  Bo. 
But yet thou hast the wit to stick close to me.  Sp. 
I do it for your sake, for you will never ride without me.  Bo. 
This is one thing, I know thee trusty, for many times thou hast fought up to the ears in blood for mysake.  Sp. 
Nay, I would have you know my Service on foot too; for unless. I attend you, you can walk in no fashion.  Boot. 
But Spur, One thing I like not in thee, thou spoilest all my Horses, thou art a very sore Rider.  S. 
Why I am as good as Provender to your Horses, I will stick close to his Ribs.  Bo. 
Let it be thy part to see my Horses well curried, while I go call for my Lodging: What, Chamberlain? Exit Spur.  Pump. 
O here is Mr. Boot, I know by his creeking Slipper: Now show a slippery trick, and slip away the Jugg. (Exit Slip.) And I will pump for an answer for my Master. O Mr. Pump stoops as low as your feet to welcome you to the sign of the Leg.  Boot. 
Methinks you are somewhat fine, I doubt some body hath trimmed you since you came in.  Pump. 
I must needs say your poor Vassal hath been vesselling; I have been with Slipper and have set foot to foot and drunk hard.  Boo. 
These be your old tricks: as long as there is any strong Beer to be had, Pump will drink no water. But what have you provided for my Supper?  Pump. 
Faith I have clean forgotten, I spoke for something, but I know not what; Call up the Chamberlain, he knows more of my mind.  Boot. 
Just such a trick you served me at Flushing when you were drunk.  Pump. 
Master, if you will believe me, I was as sober as I am now.  Boo. 
'Tis well you can be drunk and stand in't too. What, Chamberlain? Enter Slip.  
Anon, Anon, Sir, What's your Worship's pleasure.  Bo. 
What did my man bespeak for Supper.  S. 
Three Juggs of Beer, and half a dram of Tobacco.  Pump. 
St. St.  Sli. 
O, I cry you mercy, I mistook the Room.  Bo. 
Do you not know what is provided for my Supper.  S. 
Not very well, but whatsoever it is, it shall be ready for your Worship: But you shall be sure of a mess of Salad Oil, and a dish of fresh Butter.  B. 
Very good.  S. 
Nay, it shall be very good.  Bo. 
In good time.  S. 
Nay, you shall have it in very good time.  Bo. 
Nay, good Sir, stand not so much upon your Pantoples, but answer me directly to one question; Do you not know one Mr. Shoe?  Sp. 
Yes, Sir, there be two of that name, the one a High-German, the other a Low-Countryman.  Bo. 
I mean him that dwells in the Town.  S. 
I know him well, he is a man of very good fashion, and a continual Housekeeper.  Bo. 
And I hear very good report of him, that Mr. Shoe is a very upright man.  Slip. 
And yet for all that he may go awry sometimes; and this is his fault, he loves to be greased often: But as I take it, here comes the Gentleman. Enter Shoe and String.  Shooe. 
String, Come tie my Shoe.  Pum. 
What little go by the ground is that?  Slip. 
A Hangby of Mr. Shoe; they call him Shoe-tie, a fellow that I am not beholding to: But Pump, farewel a while. (Exit Slip.)  P. 
Slipper farewel. Pump will have a fling at you anon. Shoe, Sirrah, How doth my Cousin Stocking?  Str. 
Faith, Sir, He was lately a dying, but now they say, he is on the mending hand.  Sh. 
Why, what's the matter?  Str. 
They say he took a grief, because he stretched himself for. Mr. Leg, and so broke.  Sh. 
Well, if that be all, we'll have the matter taken up: But for my Neighbour Foot, what says he?  St. 
Marry Foot saith, he scorneth to be kept in by your Vows, as he is a part of the Body Politic, and a Member of the Commonwealth; he will do his best to tread you under foot.  Sh. 
Alas, poor wretch, I took him in, when he might have stood and cooled his Toes: But let him go whither he will, he shall never come into my latch again. But is not yonder Mr. Boot?  Bo. 
Mr. Shoe.  Sh. 
Your poor friend: Shoe would do Mr. Boot any service, One that will spend life and limb to do you service: But methinks Mr. Boot you look somewhat old, for you are full of wrinkles.  Bo. 
Age and Travel will alter a man.  Sho. 
I hope you have been no great Traveller.  Bo. 
as great as any goes upon earth; for travel, Coriate could never come near me.  Sh. 
I think so, for Coriate went always on foot, You travel on Horseback. But what think you of Coriate's Book of his Travels?  Bo. 
I suppose he took great pains, and traveled hard for it; but his Crudites I could never digest them; he cannot so much as pass by a Walnut Tree, but he must have a fling at it: He can as well be hanged as pass by a Gibbet, and every pair of Gallows he removes, as if they were Herculeses Pillars: but because he is my fellow-traveller, I'll let him pass.  Sh. 
But what say you to Mr. Mandevill? they say he went to the World's end, and then I am sure none of you can go beyond him.  Bo. 
I think so for lying, for he will go to a hair; He loseth his hair in some hot skirmish, and then says, he was burnt in going too near the Sun.  Sh. 
Faith it was a bold excuse, and yet it was well enough: Put off, let us leave these Land-travellers for a company of dry fellows: Now for the Watermens, let us have an Oar in their Boat; What say you to Drake and Candish?  Boot. 
Faith Candish made a good Voyage at the first, but was clean o'er the ears ere he was ware the second time, he had so engaged himself, and so in the end proved a Castaway.  Sh. 
It is an excellent thing for a Mariner to keep himself within Compass; but how sped Drake?  Bo. 
Drake was a wild fellow, but before he had done, he so trounced the Spaniards, that he made them quake, quake.  Sh. 
And these Seamen methinks should stand best to their Tackling. But what's the reason these Puritans cannot abide them?  B. 
I think it is because they hate the Sea of Rome.  Sh. 
Or it is because they use the Cardinal's Winds.  Bo. 
Or perhaps because they hate the invention of Cards.  Sh. 
Or because they have a Pilot in their Company.  Bo. 
I am partly of their mind; I have gone as far as any of them, but by my good will, Boot will never take water. But by this time, Mr. Shoe I think your heels do ache with standing, therefore sit down here, and I will unfold unto you the whole discourse of my Travels in Print.  String. 
Now while my Master and Mr. Boot are set at talk, I'll enter Compliment with this finical Gentleman; Sir, your friend Shoestring had no sooner got to see you, but he must needs salute you in the way of kindness.  Pump. 
Sir, in reciprocal congratulation, I kiss the very shadow of your Shooe-string.  Str. 
I pray, Sir, let me crave your name.  P. 
Do then.  Str. 
Then, Sir, with your good leave and liking, what's your name.  P. 
My name is Water Pump, Sir,  Str. 
Very well: Water, I thought your name was Water, you look so thin on't; surely he that made your Trunks was a very good Tailor, he went so roundly to work.  Pum. 
Why, Sirrah, I hope, Jack-sawce, I may wear these Nocks in despite of your Nose.  Str. 
Surely you were a fortunate young man, you were leapt in your Mother's Smock, for she hath given you one of her old Blankets.  Pump. 
You harp too much upon one String, Shootye, though your Tongue be ne'er so busy about my Nocks; I do not think you can pull down my Breeches.  St. 
shit on your Breeches, I care not a fart for them.  P. 
Well I perceive shortly, if I should stay ne'er so long, you will never leave wagging: Well, I'll leave you to my fellow Spur. Exit.  Enter Spur with a Cloak-bag. Spur. 
Good Ostler, if ever you mean to curry favour with me, look well to my Horses, and let them be well littered, or else I'll care not a straw for you; do not play the fresh Servingman with me: pour down their Provender before them, and let them try it out by the Teeth.  Str. 
Mr. Bo. is a strange man, he hath a pair of Servingmen look as if they were not fellows; one in his Nocks, and another in his Cloak-bag: Pray, Sir, before— give me leave to spur you one question.  Sp. 
If you will give me leave to kick you an answer.  Str. 
Pray, Sir, what Countryman are you?  Sp. 
Northamptonshire man, and I was born at Rowel.  Str. 
I had thought you had been a Germane; you are something a kin to Kickerman.  Sp. 
I perceive you are a notable Slip-string: but, sirrah, is thy Master here?  Str. 
What if he be, Spurco hath nothing to do with him.  Sp. 
O, He comes in good time, for all my Horses want shoes.  Str. 
do not disparage my Master, for I will not change with you without Boot.  Sp. 
Nor I with you, for all the shoes in your Shop.  Str. 
Go to, hold your peace, if Boot be so lusty, we'll have him strapt.  Sp. 
Boy, hold your prating, if Shoe fly out, I'll clout him myself: What is your Master but a Zitizen, and then he is but a Apprentice at the most; And thy Master (saith String) is but a Traveller, and then he is a Journeyman.  Sp. 
Shoe-tie hold your peace, or I'll hang you up for the sign of the Rose.  Str. 
I can tell you the Rose is the best flower in my Master's Garden. But I wonder Spurco why you are so sharp; for all your great Sword, if I once buckle with you, I'll leather your Hide.  Sp. 
I hope my Sword troubleth not you; if you be so busy Shoe-tie, take heed, this is the great Sword that cut the Gordian knots.  Str. 
I could never tell why such clownish Servingmen are tied to such great Swords, unless it be when they fart they might touch cold iron.  Sp. 
Sirrah, I'll tell you, wit● the point I'll prick a hole in your coat, and with the Hilt I'll panel you about the pate.  Str. 
But stay, Sirrah, here comes your Master to take you off.  Bo. 
Mr. Shoe, you and I come both from one house, for as Antiquaries say, we are lineally descended from Thong-castle.  Sh. 
Nay, there Mr. Boot I think you are wide, for I heard some say, that our Ancestors were born at Bulver-hide, but it is no great matter, it is certain we came both from one stock.  Bo. 
But I forgot to tell you one thing as I passed by this Town side, I had much ado to 'scape this Tree: so coming along Francefa deep, I fell up to the top in a dirty hole, and was so bemired, that I was fain to get an Ostler to make me clean.  Sh. 
Bee-lady that was a foul mischance.  Sp. 
Nay, I can tell you Boot hath many of those Voyages, for he hath gone through thick and thin.  Sh. 
Well, now I see plainly before my face that you are a great Traveller, you excel Ulysses for all he was so long abroad, that when he came home his wife knew him not, no more than his Dog: and Aeneas though he was a true Trojan, yet may come far behind you.  Bo. 
As for Ulysses, Cirees made a very Hogrubber of him; and for Aeneas, any Ape may do as much as he did.  Sh. 
Good, Sir, may I entreat but one thing, that you would bestow this Map on me.  Bo. 
Mr. Shoe, I would be loath to stick with you for any thing, but you must pardon me, I should not part with this Map for a world: but I think I have held you too long, therefore to wind up all in a word, after this rare discourse, I will invite you to part of a bad Supper.  Shoe, 
No, faith I mean to go another way.  Bo. 
Nay, Mr. Sh. I will not be put off so.  Sh. 
Nay, then good Mr. Boot lead you the way, I'll follow at an inch. Exeunt Boot and Shoe.  Str. 
I hope you are somewhat cooler, you are not a hot Spur still.  Sp. 
No, faith, my little wag, 'twas but a flourish: but why went my fellow Pump away?  Str. 
It seems he had been drinking somewhat stiffly, and your Pump could not hold his water. Enter Slipper, Jugg, and a Glass.  Sp. 
What? how now Slipper, never without a Jugg of Beer in thy hand?  Slip. 
I, here you may see as in a glass the life that we Chamberlains lead.  Str. 
Come, 'tis in a good hand, pray begin to somebody.  Slip. 
Sirrah, you may be sure I'll not begin to you, for I was never beholding to Shoe-tie.  Str. 
And that is that hath made you such a lose fellow.  Slip. 
Go-to String, you are a very wag-halter; here's to thee Spur, thou art all steel to the back.  Sp. 
Come, I'll never refuse Chamberlain; but I am half out of love with those Ostlers, one of them yesternight gave me such a rub.  (Slip. Drinks) Str. 
What, a whole one?  Spur. 
What else but a whole one:  Slip. 
was always a dry Whoreson.  Str. 
And I have always marked this in him, when Slipper was sober he was in his plain fashion, but when he is tipsy he is always in his turns-over.  Slip. 
Well Shoe-tie if you use these tricks, you may chance come to be knit up: But I pray you, Sir, take off your liquor.  Sp. 
Here Shoe-tie (he drinks) Troth I wonder at these Tapsters how they bear so much drink, such another glass as this would make Spur's head turn round.  Enter Pump. Pump. 
I thought where I should find you, you must stand nesting here, while poor Pump must dance attendance; come away quickly, or my Master swears he'll have you all set in the Shoemaker's stocks.  Str. 
Faith, for my Master Shoe, I have him in a string.  Sp. 
For Mr. Boot I have served him on and off a good while.  Str. 
Faith, Pump thou stands as though thou hadst neither life nor soul: will you drink?  Pump. 
No, by no means, I had as life pour it into my shoes.  Sp. 
I hope Pump you may be drawn by little and little.  P. 
Nay, if you be thereabout, I must take me to my heels. Exit.  Sp. 
Though I care not for my Master, yet I love my Supper, therefore let's in, and after Supper we? I have a Catch in the Chimney-corner.  Str. 
Content. Exit.  Slip. 
Pray you, Sir, while you sing the Song let me bear the burden: I, take the Cloak-bag.  Sp. 
Thank you hearty, 'tis for mine own case: I hope you have never 〈◊〉 Cloak for your Knavery, for if you have, you have given me the bag very sweetly. Exeunt.   

EPILOGUE; Spoken by Shoemaker.  
IF Bungler-like my Work be brought to end,  
I'll be a Cobbler, who ye know may mend.  
Next time I hope my Work shall be more meet,  
Now I have learned the length of all your feet:  
But if in Workmanship I do excel,  
I know your bounty, ye will pay me well.  
Or else I'll trust, and booked at your Commands,  
So that ye will subscribe it with your Hands.  
FINIS.