portrait of man 
Th' Effigies here on which you look,  
Contributes nothing to this Book:  
It's but a shadow at the most,  
No Body sure, (much less a Ghost.)  
The Book peruse, the faults pass by,  
The rules observe most carefully:  
Which if you do, than you may find  
Content in Marriage to your mind.    

Conjugal Counsel: OR, Seasonable Advise, both to Unmarried, and Married PERSONS.  
Directing the first how to enter into the Marriage Estate: And the other how to demean themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that Estate of life binds them to, that God may have Glory, the Church Edification, and themselves and Families, present and future Comfort,  
Tending much (by the blessing of God) to a through Reformation of all the Enormities of these evil Times.  
By T. H. of Sandwich in Kent.  
Two are better than one,  Eccles. 4 9 
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled, but Whoremongers and Adulterers God will judge,  Heb 13.4. 
LONDON, Printed for John Stafford, and are to be sold at his House at the George at Fleet-Bridge. 1653.   

Imprimatur JOHN DOWNAM.   

To his highly Esteemed, and very Choicely beloved Children, Samuel, Mehetabel, and Anne Hilders, the yearning Bowels, and Rolling Affections of your tenderhearted Father, wisheth the happiness of all saving-grace in this life, and Eternal glory in the life to come, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  
Right dear beloved Children,  
THe Great God of Heaven and Earth, who is wisdom itself, and all perfections, did not think fit to bestow you on me as the fruit of my Youth, and the Quintessence of my strength: But in my Old Age, and when I was a dry stick he made me Bud, Bloome Blossoms, and bring forth such pleasant Almonds as indeed you are. Your bodies are very dear to me, I desire your souls may be much more precious. The preservation of your Natural lives is my duty to take care after, in a way of subordination to God: But the seeking of the good of your souls (as an Instrument under God) in this life in the state of grace, and as the way leading to glory and bliss hereafter is that which I am bound to regard in a more singular and special manner. My dear hearts, I desire Natural Affection may not so far carry me forth towards you; as spiritual and Ardent desires transport me with much enlargedness of heart and spirit to seek there all good both of your Bodies and Souls to all Eternity through free grace in Jesus Christ. It is said, Israel loved Joseph more than all his Children, because he was the Son of his old Age, and he made him a Coat of many colours, Gen. 37.3. Now, if because Joseph was the Son of his Father's old Age was a good Argument to Israel to love him with such a large love; Then (for aught I know) I am not to be blamed if I manifest my love to you in an extraordinary manner, having the same reason for it as before expressed. True it is, I cannot  you with Garments of many colours, (I mean in a rich and costly manner) yet I desire to bless the Lord that not one of you hitherto have known want; Ah my soul desires you may be like the King's Daughter, Psalm. 15.13. Even all glorious within, that your hearts may be beautified with saving grace, and clothed with the Righteousness of Jesus Christ. My dear Children, I cannot out look upon you as poor fatherless babes; for 〈◊〉 ●●lesse the time of my departing is at hand, (so far as can be thought in all probabili●●) for I have the sentence of death within me, I finding Nature spending and wasting peace, and divers symptoms of short life; Therefore as Isaac desired to bless Esau before his death: So I desire (yet not as having a spirit of Prediction, as Isaac had, Gen▪ 27.4.) to bless you before I die, viz. to communicate some Counsel to you from the Word of God, that you in following the same may be both blessed here, and for ever. Now herein I shall proceed (by the Lord's assistance) for the general in a sentential way, desiring you to make them the matter of your Meditations, that so they may be amplified and enlarged in your own thoughts. (My dearly beloved ones) let me in the first place lay to you, and to every one of you as David said to his Son Solomon, 1 Chron. 28.9. My Children know you the God of your Fathers, and serve him with perfect hearts, and with willing minds: This is your duty in general. But to come to some particulars (yet in an abstractive way:) Take them as followeth, that is, labour to make God the object of your love, and the chief of all your desires, Psal. 73.15. Ibid. 31.23. Mark 12, 30. Seek to have the fear of God continually in your hearts, Psalm. 86.11. Psal. 34 9 but be careful that it be filial and Childlike, (not servile and slavish.) Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, Eccl. 12.1. Begin your spiritual Race betimes, Psa. 63.1. Prov. 8.17. And strive to hold out to the end, 1 Cor. 9.24. Mark. 13.13. Mind your own mortality, Heb. 9.27. joh. 9.4. Psal. 6.5. Put not off working in God's Vineyard till the Eleventh hour, Mat. 20.6. Your Sun may set at Noon, (as spoken in another case,) Amos 8.9. Improve all your Talents to the glory of God, Mat. 25.20. Mind the account you must pass, for you are but stewards, Luk. 16.2. Forget not the day of Judgement, Eccl. 11.9. Chap. 12. ult. Mat. 12.38. Be very strict in the observation of the Sabbath, Exod. 28.10, 11. Isa. 56.2. Chap. 58.13. Prise the means of grace, Psal. 119, 70, 97. Frequent the Assembly of the Saints, Hebrews 12.25. But mistake not the Sheepfold, Cant. 1.28. Labour to live a life of faith against, and above sense, Gal. 2.10. Hab. 2.4. Chap. 3.17, 18. Labour for an humble spirit, Micah 6.8. James 4.6. Practise all known truths, Joh. 13.17. Hold forth the power of godliness in your lives, 1 Cor. 4.20. 2 Tim. 3.5. Keep your hearts always waking, Cant. 5.2. for the Times are evil, Eph. 5.16. Labour for found principles, Tit. 1.13. And stability in them, 1 Tim. 4.1. James 5.8. 2 Pet. 1.12. Study to be quiet, and to do your own business, 1 Thes. 4.12. Keep within the limits of your Callings, 1 Cor. 7.24. Labour to be approved to God, 2 Cor. 10. ult. Pass not for the judgement of men, 1 Cor. 4.3. Yet beware of giving just offence to any, Mat. 18.7. 1 Cor. 10.32. Eat all occasions of sinning, Prov. 5.8. Gal. 5.13. Abstain from all appearance of evil, 1 Thes. 5.22. Do not think you can be too strict in a holy life, Eph. 5.15. But always walk by a just Rule, Gal. 6.16. Be upright in heart: hate hypocrisy, Ps. 26.1, 2. joh. 1.47. Fellow not a multitude to do evil, Exod. 23.2. Be not partakers of other men's sins, keep yourselves pu●e, 1 Tim. 5.22. Beware of diversity of opinions, and divers Doctrines, Heb. 13.9. 1 Tim. 4.1, 2. Rom. 16. Cham 17.18. 2 Tim. 4.3, 4 For these various ways are but mere figments and fruits of Addle brains, though varnished with some splendent gilt of holiness, and denominated New Lights, and Divine Revelations. I say beware of these, for they are but the Devil peeping with a white Vizard to cover his all-silthy and deformed face; stand upon your watch-Tower, look out sharply lest you be led away by the error of the Wicked, 2 Pet. 2.17. My dear Children, labour to arm yourselves against the croaking Frogs of these last and worst times; you are borne in an hour of Temptation you had great need to labour to try the spirits. 1 joh. 4.1. which that you may do, you must follow the Counsel of Christ that is, you must daily search the Scriptures, john 5.39. Imitate also the example of the Bereans, who would not believe Paul and Sylas, until by searching the Scriptures they found the truth of what they delivered, Acts 17 11. And the Holy Ghost commends and honours them for the same; and this duty God did command his people of Old, Isa. 8.20. Lean not on your own understanding, Pro. 3 5. Be not high minded, but fear, Rom. 11.20. Let him (saith the Apostle) that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall, 1 Cor. 10.12. For there is a way that seemeth right, but the end thereof are the ways of death, Prov. 16.25. Beware of other men's sins and punishments, judg. 4.7. Still walk with God as Enoch did Gen. 5.24. Grasp fast hold on Christ as the Church did, and lean upon him, Cant. 8.5. You are safe if Christ put forth his hand to you in your times of danger, as he did to Peter, Mat. 14.31. Endeavour to keep a good conscience in your whole life, Acts 23.1. which will be to you a continual feast, Pro. 15.15. (so the Geneva Translation renders it) Therefore hearken unto the Checks and Admonitions of it. Sympathise with the Church and every particular Member therein in the times of Affliction, Neh. 1.1, 2, 3, 4. Amos 6.6. Rom. 12.15. Spend much time in the perusal of Orthodox Writers, both Ancient and Modern; for next unto the Scriptures (in both the Old And New Testament) you shall find the most glorious beams and araies of light and truth shining from them, to enlighten you in the way of truth, and to heat and quicken your Affections to walk in the way that is called Holy. I even beseech you to labour to gain, and to maintain in your d●a●e hearts an invaluable and incomparable esteem of these Authors here mentioned, and 〈◊〉 as they, (who are indeed all Reverend and sound Divines, viz. Mr Perkins, Bishop Hall, Bishop Usher, (and in particular his body of Divinity,) Dr Preston, Dr Sibbs, Mr Nicholas Eyfield, Mr Robert Bou●ton, Mr jeremy, and Mr Daniel Dike, Mr Symonds on the case and cure of a deserted soul, Mr Smith on the Great Assize, and Ursinus on the Sum of Christian Religion, etc.  
But on the contrary, take notice it is your duty, both to God and your own souls, to labour to abhor, with a kind of infinite detestation, all heretical and schismatical, (yea) all fanatical and whimsical Pamphlets, Treatises, and their Authors, how specious soever Frontispieces and deluding Titles be for all such are but the Devil's Factors, Agents, and Engines to seduce and poison the judgements of poor ignorant souls, that they may run with a full career to the pit of hell, to the high dishonour of God, and their own inevitable destruction both of body and soul, unless infinite mercy prevent; these Vermin a●e like the Locusts, Rev. 9.7.8. if not the same, who have Crowns like Gold, (not Gold though they glister) faces like men, and hair like women, but teeth like Lions. These are Clouds without water, etc. and wand'ring stars, etc. Judas 12, 13. These are they whose words f●et like a Canker, 2 Tim. 2.16, 17. These trouble Coasts you may know them by their fruit, they still oppugn the faithful Ministers of Jesus Christ, and spit out of their black mouths many opprobrious, false, and diabolical calumniations against them (but their tongues and pens can be no slanders to them, nor cast them out of the hearts of the real godly party,) that thereby they may heave them out of the Ministry, and make room for their uncalled and ungifted fraternity to possess their places if they can bring their cursed designs to pass; and by this hellish means hinder the propagation of the Gospel, and Gospel Ordinances, and so foist in their own hellbred inventions. These (my dear Children) are such nonsensical Ignoramus's, and so full of blockish stupidity, that they are many degrees worse than those Babel bvilders, Gen. 11. from ver. 1. to the end of ver. 8. For they did desist from their work of confusion when God had confounded their Language: But these Impostors, though the Lord have divided their tongues (and so hath answered the Prophet David's Imprecation, Psa. 55.9.) that they speak not the same things: yea, and their hearts too, that they walk in contradictory ways one from the other, (and all from the Rule of truth:) yet most pertinaciously with brows of brass they proceed to bring paltry trash, and filthy Rubbish to patch up their tottering structure (founded on the sand) to be a habitation for doleful Creatures, etc. Isa. 13.21. And for such as the Holy Ghost mentions in Rev. 18.2. But down must their Chaos go, Mat. 7.26, 27. And all their vile plants must be plucked up, Mat. 15.13. But to conclude this particular, these Sons of Belial are false Meteors, and can metamorphose a real Saint into a Devil, and a Devil incarnate into a Saint. These persons are good Arithmeticians, for they are well versed in the rules of Addition and Substraction, (nay, and in the black art of Detraction too;) and whether they are acute both in the Theory and Practic part of Division or not, let all moralised men, much more real Christians judge. These persons can, and do put darkness for light, and light for darkness, etc. In one word, their aim is to extinguish the power of godliness, and to procure liberty for all licentiousness, which God prevent. But to proceed onward. Set not your Affections on things beneath, but on things above, Col. 3.2. For the love of the world, and worldly things is an enemy both to God and your own souls, james 4.4. 1 Tim. 6.9, 10. But cast yourselves (in the use of lawful means) upon God for all outward things, for he careth for you, 1 Pet. 5.7. And be content to be at his allowance, and with your present condition, Phil. 4.12. 1 Tim. 6.8. Heb. 13.5. In all your Afflictions exercise much patience, Pro. 24.10. james 5.10. Heb. 12.1.2. Yet be much in Prayer for deliverance, Psal. 50.15. Also mind for this purpose the Title immediately before Psa. 102. (As touching your duties to your Parents I omit the hinting at them here, but refer you to that part of the ensuing Treatise, where there is something spoken more at large of them.) Deal uprightly and justly with all men, as in the presence of God, 1 Thes. 4.6. And as you would have others deal with you so deal with all men, Mat. 7.12. You must prefer the good and safety of Church and State before your own, this may be deduced from the Message Mordecai sent to Queen Hester when she was fearful to put forth herself for the safety of the Jews in their extreme exigency, Hest. 4. the latter part of ver. 14. Rom. 12.11. Not slothful to do service (for so the Geneva hath it.) Now my dear Children, I beseech you in the Name of God (and I hope your heavenly Father) to labour to maintain the life and heat of love, unity, Amity, sweet Accord and Concord between yourselves. Consider for this purpose, that it is a special duty God requires of you all to be performed each to other, 1 Pet. 3.8. And the Lord hates and abominates such as low discord between Brethren, Pro. 6. ver. 16. compared with ver. 19 Gen. 45.24. And well worth your observation for your encouragement to perform this duty here urged, is that which the Spirit of God lays down, Psal. 133.1. Behold (saith the Psalmist) how good and how pleasant it is for Brethren to dwell together in unity, which in the remaining verses is amplified by two choice similitudes, and with a comfortable conclusion. Nature hath Characterised this so strongly upon the hearts of Men, that some have taken revenge upon such as have done wrong to Brethren or Sisters. Simeon and Levi slew all the Inhabitants of a whole City for the wrong that Shechem the son of Hamor had done to their Sister Dinah, Gen. 34.25, 26, 27, 31. Gideon put Zebah and Zalmunna to death for their slaying his Brethren, Judg. 8.19, 21. Abner slew Asahel the Brother of Joab, 2 Sam. 2.23. but Joab slays Abner for it, 2 Sam. 3.27. Amnon's deflowrs Tamar the sister of Absalon, 2 Sam. 13.14. but Absalon did cause him to lose his life for it, ver. 28, 29. Now these things (my dear Children) I mention, not to put you upon such courses, for they were Acts of murder in those that did them, and that in a high degree, and you have not, nor cannot have any warrant to do such vile things; all you can do in such cases is to go to God by prayer, and to the Civil Magistrate by complaint for the security of each one of you. But I make use of these Instances to convince you, that if you love not one another you sin even against Nature, how much more than against God. And truly, you sin also against yourselves, for by unbrotherly breaches you weaken your own strength; The uniting of Brethren and Sisters together by love fortifies them against the danger of oppositions. The earth will with more ease swallow up one single drop of water than many drops and buckets-full met together in one. A threefold Cord is not quickly broken. Eccl. 4.12. Most excellent to this purpose is the story of the old dying man, who having many Children, and desiring they might be all united together in love, he was ambitious to leave something upon their hearts and spirits as an Impression not easily to be forgotten, but that might remain for the end beforesaid: Who having them all present before him, calls for a sheaf of Arrows, which when brought he gives to divers of his Children a single Arrow and bids them break them, which with great case they did: But then he takes all the rest of them and with a cord he binds them in one bundle, and then bids them break them if they could, which they aslaying to do could not so much as bend them. Then he applies himself to them by way of counsel, and tells them, that if they were divided one from another in affection they would expose themselves to ruin: But if they were all firmly conjoined together as one, they might be able to preserve themselves, and one another. (Ah) my dear hearts, it is the desire and prayer of your poor Father for you unto the Blessed, and for ever blessed Trinity, who are three in Persons, and but one in Essence, that you all might have but one heart, and one soul in relation one to another, that thereby God might be glorified, others edified, and yourselves for ever comforted by your mutual love, and sweet deportment one to another.  
Thus, my much endeared Children, I have laboured to give you an Epitome of particular duties you own unto God, to his Church, and to your own souls and bodies. Now to all the advice I have given you in particular, I shall in the Apostles own words add this in general, only changing the Appellation; Finally my Children, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; If there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things; And the God of peace shall be with you, Phil. 4.8. and the latter end of ver. 9  
Now my dear Children, because I am convinced that it is the duty of a Father to seek the complete happiness of his Children, both Internal and Externall, and though chief the good of their souls, in relation to a better life: Yet in a second place, the good also of their bodies, and their outward comfortable enjoyments in this Terrestrial World. I cannot therefore omit, in order to your well-being here, to communicate unto you some advise, in reference to the change of your conditions by Marriage, if the Lord be pleased to bring you to such a time for seasonableness, and to give you opportunities to embrace the same; Let me tell you, that for you to enjoy meet helpers in that estate, you may reckon to be one of the greatest out ward favours that God doth bestow on his Children to sweeten their condition otherwise mixed with divers Afflictions in this life. But in the discharge of this last duty I shall be very concise, because you may meet with variety of directions this way in the ensuing lines, and body of the discourse, all which I beseech you to mind in your reading of them, and much more in your practice in walking up to them; but I shall here take the liberty to add in general this one thing, (viz.) That it is a Rule, Case, and Maxim in Divinity, that whatsoever Action any one is called to perform, which is of high concernment, (especially to God's glory,) and relates to the good of man, and but once (in probability) to be done in his whole life, and which being done is unalterable, and remains like the Laws of the Medes and Persians, Dan. 5.8.12. There is required more than ordinary caution and circumspection in the undertaking and managing of the same. Now the entering into the Marriage Estate is an Action of the same nature before expressed; nay, to speak properly, it is that Action, and none but it that fully answers the description beforesaid; And if so, then judge you what singular care should fill your hearts and heads when you mind Marriage, and use the means conducible for that end.  
Dear hearts, I cannot but think it necessary to acquaint you concerning this poor piece ensuing, which is denominated Conjugal Counsel, that the Original Copy of it was compiled six and twenty years since, which being then brought into a compendious way, (and truly it is little more now) I did present it, not only to very intelligible private Christians, but to three very Orthodox Divines for their Approbation of it, (it being then in my intentions to make it public,) which approbation of theirs I had, and counsel from one of them to print the Book, who did also put me in a fair way to accomplish the same, and it had been extant, but that those times did obstruct it, since which time it hath lain even as dead and buried; But (my choicely beloved ones,) Now God having (in the riches of his grace) bestowed you on me, (who are as dear to me as my own soul,) what could I do less than seek your complete happiness? And I apprehending this poor work might contribut a small mite thereto (by the blessing of God) I could not be so unjust to detain it from you. Truly, (next the seeking the glory of God) I have chief for your sakes made it obvious to public view; I must confess, the good of all poor souls I desire to prise; and if any receive benefit by this my poor pains, I desire to take it as a very large engagement to my poor soul to praise the Lord for his infinite goodness and grace herein; Further I must acquaint you, that I have in some things altered this from the first Copy, and I hope it is not for the worst, but for the better; And now my poor hearts, on whom can I so properly bestow it as on you, who are bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh? I have two special reasons, amongst many, to write this Epistle Dedicatory to you: First, to manifest my Cordial love to your souls. Secondly, that hereby I may oblige you to endear it the more, and to make it your Rule to walk by.  
Now if either you or any others should marvel I should make myself so pupiller as to make use of your names at the beginning, and my own at the end of this Epistle: And secondly, that I should affix my Effigies at the Front of this Book, to both I shall give a candid answer. But first I must tell you, that it was not to gain popular applause; for first, I know nothing in it that can advance so course an end. Secondly, I do profess I desire with my soul to abominate all popularity: I can with much comfort aver that my sincere design is to avoid it, for nothing is more contrary to my mind than to set so much as half a foot on the stage of this world. But to give you a brief, but real positive answer of the first, It was that it might take the deeper, and more kindly impression on the hearts of you my poor Children, that you may look on all contained both in this Epistle, and in the Treatise as the Counsel of your own dear Father. That you may say, this Counsel, these directions, these reproofs, etc. were directed to us from our Father, and they were all evidences that we were dear to him, and we plainly see he loved our poor souls, which I hope (by the grace of God) will be to you as a spur to quicken you to practise all. But for my Effigies, I have desired that should stand in the place beforesaid, to be a means to preserve the memory of myself always fresh upon your hearts who are my Children. For I am not ashamed to confess (if it were before all the world) that I desire my Children in years to come (if God see it good) may be able to take notice what kind of man their Father was even in person; I care not who bury me in oblivion so my Children do not; But these things being only circumstantials, let them pass without more said to them.  
Now if you (my dear Children,) or any other should be unsatisfied in relation to the uncouth Method of the following directions in reference to the duties of Superiors and Inferiors each to others, it being contrary to the order, not only of the way of all Elaborate Writers on such a Subject, but also to the way of the Holy Ghost, to lay down the duties of Superiors in the first place, and then of Inferiors. I desire to pass this account for it; You may be pleased to mind what is my chief aim in the foresaid discourse, Truly, it is to provoke such as desire to enter into the Marriage estate, not only to mind their Call unto the same, and to inform them in the way they must walk in, and the means they must use tending to achieving their desires, but also to put them upon an earnest endeavour to be acquainted with the duties that their consciences will then be bound to the performance of. Now it is clearly necessary, that every Christian man should first learn what his own duties are that he may discharge them; and then the duties of others, that within his place and Calling he must teach, and stir them up to perform the same, Thou that teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Rom. 2.21. He that reproveth another had need to be unreprovable, our Saviour teacheth as much, Mat. 7 3.  
Much endeared Children, you cannot but remember that I have acquainted you, that I cannot but conceive my abode here with you is short, and I may truly say, my desire is to departed this life and to be with Christ, which for me is best of all, yet to remain in the flesh is more profitable for you, Phil. 1.23, 24. But however the Lord be pleased to deal with me I hope your Mother will discharge her duties toward you both for soul and body, and will endeavour to walk before you in good examples, and that may prove to you all matter of joy and singular comfort.  
But you my dear Son, I must here take the liberty to tell you, (and I cannot do less,) that you are descended from the Loins of a most choice and precious Mother (who by divine providence lost her natural life in being a means to bring you forth to live in this World.) Truly, I might here dip a golden Pen in Odoriferous Oil, and therewith write an Encomium of her, both of her life, and of her death. She was indeed a Margaret by Name, and much more by sweetness of Nature; But above all, by the super-abundant grace of God toward her, and in her, she was of a most transcendent, exemplary, and holy life. She did (through the grace of God) walk sweetly with her Saviour in all pious ways; she did highly prise the means of grace; She did really hold forth the power of godliness in an unblameable Conversation; She was frequent in secret prayer; and let me tell you (to your comfort) she hath lodged in the bosom of God (by the assistance of the Holy Spirit, and in the Mediation of her dear Saviour) many an ardent and most affectionate prayer for your poor soul while she was here in the flesh; which I doubt not but the Lord will return answer of (through his free grace) upon your head and heart, upon your body and upon your soul. She was full of the overflowings of love to her most unworthy (yet much endeared) Consort. She was of a very peaceable and amiable life toward all persons. She did live much in a little time; And as she was of an exact life (in comparison of most,) so through the infinite grace of God) she ended her days in the peace of a good conscience, and did enjoy peace with God which passeth understanding, Phil. 4.7. Psalm. 37.37. God gave her the white stone, and therein the new Name written, which none knew but herself who received it, Rev. 2.17. She was full of heavenly Raptures, and Divine manifestations of the love of God to her soul on her deathbed. She went not out by death like the snuff of a stinking Candle, leaving an ill savour behind, but like Jumper, or the choicest sweet Perfumes. Died Abner as a fool? 2 Sam. 3.33. No. Or died this precious Christian as a Daughter of Belial? No. (The thoughts thereof in the least measure is to be abhorred with a kind of infinite detestation;) it may be truly affirmed, that she lived like a Saint, and died like a Daughter of the most High God. To her to live was Christ, and her death was her gain, Phil. 1.21. And to her infinite gain she hath found it, for she doth now rest in the bosom of her sweet and precious Saviour, and shall to all Eternity. I dare not say, many Daughters have done virtuously, and that this glorious Saint hath excelled them all, Pro. 31.29. But this I will be bold to say, that though many Daughters have done virtuously, yet that not one of them did ever excel her. I could do no less than present you my dear Son with the knowledge of these things, both for your Imitation, and Consolation. And since Divine providence hath given me such an opportunity as this, to attest before all the World the real super-eminency of such a Saint, so nearly related to you my Son, much more to me, I dar'st not omit it; certainly if the Righteous should be had in everlasting remembrance, Psa. 12.6. it must be then as much my duty to endeavour it as the duty of any: Nay more my duty, in reference to this glorified soul, than the duty of any other in the world.  
My very dear and choicely beloved Children, I have been somewhat longer in this Epistle Dedicatory than I intended at the first, but the strength of my Affections to your souls hath carried me forth in this way. Truly, the good of those precious souls of yours I desire to seek as the good of my own. I know to my grief and sorrow that there hath been a world of evil infused into your whole man by, and from me. (O) that God would honour me in making me an instrument under his blessed self of plucking you out of the mire of your corruptions, jude ver. 23. And God doth know that in all these lines I have had an aim, and very ardent desires and sincere endeavours to contribute something this way. But to draw toward a close let me say (in some sense) as Solomon, Prov. 22.20 I have written to you excellent things in Counsel and Knowledge, yet not as they flow from me, (for out of me who am but an empty and dark creature can no such things come,) but as God hath enabled me (through his grace) to gather them together as so many precious flowers springing in the Garden of his own word. Dear hearts, it is said of Abel, that whilst he is dead he yet speaketh, Heb. 11.4. (Ah) let me tell you, that by these lines of mine I shall speak to you when I shall have no ears to hear you, nor eyes to see you. Now I beseech you for the Lords sake, and for your precious soul's sake, that you would seriously mind what I have presented to you, and be careful to practise the same, and whatsoever else the Lord shall be pleased to provide for your instruction to further you in a holy life; for else let me plainly tell you, that these eyes of mine shall see you, and these ears of mine shall hear you arraigned, sentenced, and condemned at the Bar of God's Tribunal Seat to everlasting perdition from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power, 2 Thes. 1.9. And then I shall want an heart to mourn over you. And yet if not only myself, but men and Angels should melt away by tears of sorrow unto nothing in sympathising and condoling your most exceeding sad and dolorous conditions, it could not contribute to ease you of so much as one sigh, sob groan, or cry unto Eternity. (Ah) my poor soul, shall it ever be said that I have begotten Children to be made Companions for Devils. (Ah, Dear God I beseech thee for the Lord Jesus Christ's sake forbidden it.) But I bless God I hope better things of you (my sweet Children,) and such as concern salvation, though I thus speak, Heb. 6.9. Or else I should go mourning, and pouring forth floods of salt tears unto my groans, and never in this world see one happy day more. But if the Lord shall be graciously pleased to add a span of time to my days here, I trust he will give me a tender heart towards you, and that (through his abundant grace) I shall labour to improve time, gifts, and opportunities, to seek by all means (and in special by humble addresses, and earnest prayers to the God of all grace to give you all all-saving grace) your real Tranquillity, and true felicity here, (and so grant me to see real and royal demonstrations of his free grace upon, and in your souls, discovering on your hearts, and in your lives the spots of his Children, Deut. 32.5.) And your Eternal happiness and bliss in the life to come, in, through, and for the only merits of Jesus Christ your blessed, and for ever blessed Saviour. Now unto him who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy; To the only wise God our Saviour, be Glory and Majesty, Dominion and Power, now and ever, jude 24, 25. verses. Thus my dear, sweet, and precious Children I take my leave of you in this kind, and Subscribe myself what I am, and desire to remain (by the grace of God) to the end of my life, (viz.)  
Your dear, tenderhearted and most Affectionate Father to love and serve you, THOMAS HILDERS.   

To the much Honoured and Eminently Virtuous Lady, the Lady Anne Sackvill, some years since Wife and Religious Consort of Sir Thomas Sackvill of Selscombe in Sussex, Knight of the Honourable Order of the Bath, the unworthy Author wisheth all Happiness Externall, Internal, and Eternal, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  
Madam,  
THe Subject matter upon which the Genius of this Discourse doth spend itself, is (within very few days) of as great Antiquity as Time itself, Gen. 2.24. compared with Chap. 1.27. and shall continue till the extirpation of Time again in this Terrestrial World, Luke 17.26, 27, 30. Very conspicuous it is (blessed be God) that on this Theme there are many Learned and Elaborate Treatises now, and of long time since Extant, unto all which this may serve only as a dark colour to set them forth the more Illustriously. And truly, but upon the main consideration, expressed in the other Dedicatory Epistle, this should have been stifled as an Abortive Child, never to have seen the Sun. But since Divine Providence will have it exposed to open view (and that in a Critical Age,) My desire hath been to take a faithful witness (instead of Witnesses) to Record. Yet to denominate it by some other name than Mahcr-shal-al-hash-baz, Isa. 8.2, 3.  
Madam, I beseech your Ladyship to excuse my boldness in making use of your Name for the end before hinted at. I am able to affirm it as a truth, that I have not thus done in a rash and inconsiderate way, but upon advised and mature deliberation, and serious consideration; two motives I shall make hold to insert, which have been prevalent with me this way, viz.  
First, that by long and comfortable experience I have found in your Ladyship both the Theory and Practic part of Religion, The form and power of Godliness, Orthodox Principles in relation to faith, and zealous endeavours to walk up to them in holiness of life. Truly, I have great ground and confidence (and do therefore believe) that God hath been pleased to honour your Ladyship in keeping your heart upright with him, and keeping you from deviating from the Rule of truth both in faith and life in this hour of Temptation which is come upon all, so on yourself, to try you whether you are Gold, yea, refined Gold, or impure, filthy, and abominable dross, or not, 1 Pet. 1.7. Doubtless Madam, you are none of them the Spirit speaketh expressly of, 1 Tim. 4.1. It is a most choice expression of our Lord Jesus Christ, Luke 5. ult. (which by way of allusion too I desire to make use of, (and I am confident may be applicable to your Ladyship,) No man (saith he) having drunk Old Wine strait way desireth to drink New▪ for he saith, the Old is better.  
Madam, It is well known unto, and confessed by the Learned, that in Scripture-language that by Wine and strong drink many times Errors are intended. And that by drunkenness, staggering, and vomiting, the intosticated brains of false Prophets, Heretics, and Seducers are pointed out, Isa. 28.78. Chap. 29.9, 10. Ah doubtless should God plague the drunkards of this Nation, both in a corporal and spiritual sense, there are (and that of the latter sort) more than a good many would lie under the lash of Divine vengeance; but is God's patience their privilege? Yea, it is so if well improved: else none at all, 2 Pet. 2 1, 2, 3. Truly, there are many of these persons, who do not only paddle at the Swine, Trough, but sw●ll till they swell, and then vomit out their filth to the dishonour of God, and the detriment of many poor ignorant souls.  
Madam, these are bad (and therefore sad) Times; For real Christians (every where) may too too palpably see many formerly seeming tall and well rooted Cedars green and flourishing, now blown up by the roots, & all their fruit & leaves blasted, withered, and fallen off, and nothing remaining but vain Notions, and high swollen conceits (not for want of Ignorance) such as the Prophet speaks of, Isa. 65.5. What Agur also speaks, Prov. 30 12. is worth our observation; neither must we forget what Judas affirms in verse 19 of his Epistle.  
Madam, there are some are so impudent as to aver that none do so much hate the Power of Godliness as the old English Puritan, (but it is well observed by the most intelligible that their tongues can slander no man.) But it is a truth that the old English Puritans do abhor such power of Godliness as too many of these men hold forth, which is eminently taken notice of to be Pride, 
Experientia docet.  Malice, Self-interest, Designs to exalt themselves to high places, Partiality, Uncharitable censuring such as are more unblameable than themselves, and fashioning themselves according to this world, both in antique attire and manners. etc.  
But if any say to me as the Lawyer did to our Lord and Saviour, Luk. 11 45. I will not answer as Christ did 46. yet let him that readeth consider it, (as Christ also said in another case, Mat. 24.15.) But this I will say, the Lord grant them sound Conviction, and through Conversion, the fruit of which is newness of heart and life, and then doubtless all that are the real godly party will give them not only the right hand of fellowship, Gal. 2.9 but also their very hearts and souls for the Gospel's sake. Ah, what need have all Christians to labour for humility and selfe-deniall, and to walk close with God according to Divine prescriptions, which will be a very choice and effectual means to prevent apostatising.  
Madam, In that God hath been pleased to be so gracious to you as to keep you from defiling your garments by walking in byways; It is a very clear demonstration that the groundwork of your Profession hath been laid on the Rock of Ages. And hence it is that your structure stands firm and unshaken in these stormy times of diversity of opinions (especially in relation to fundamental truths, (for in points merely circumstantial Christians ought to bear one with another, and not to be disjoined in affections to each other, they agreeing in the main. And hence it is in the first place, that I have gathered up some encouragement to presume thus upon your Ladyship by this bold Intrusion. But  
Secondly, When I weigh with myself the many and ponderous favours (which so undeservedly on my part) I have received (under God) at your Ladyship's hands, I stand convinced that all possible gratitude is due from me unto you. But that this presumption of mine may (even in the least measure) be esteemed of to such an end it only rests in your Ladyship's Candid Acceptation of it. Which Acceptation of Yours I most humbly beg, for without it I am at an exceeding great stand in this particular.  
Madam, be pleased therefore I beseech you so far to deny yourself as to cast a favourable aspect upon this poor ensuing piece, which (under God) will be some supportation to it; for truly it is a weak and poor Babe. But how can it be otherwise, when the worthless Author of it is not only full of Imbecility, but is weakness it self? Yet God can make this foresaid Babe a fruitful Mother of many Children in this our Israel, who may both bless the Lord for it, and for yourself, worthy Madam, for accepting, and to your power Patronising the same.  
Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God even our Father which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting Consolation, and good hope through Grace comfort your heart, and establish you in every good word, and work: Thus prayeth he who is,  
Madam, Your Ladyship's humble, most affectionate, and much more obliged servant till death, THOMAS HILDERS.   

TO THE Impartial and Judicious READER.  
Christian Friend,  
OF all the Creatures which Almighty God hath Created in this nethermost World, he hath been pleased, in the riches of his mercy, to deal most liberally with man, for God hath not only given him a being, (as he hath to all other Creatures,) but also hath provided all things to sweeten, and make his being here very comfortable. And amongst variety of choice enjoyments he hath Created for Man a meet helper, which is the most precious piece of all others, And indeed the Quintiscence, Cream, and Crown of all Temporal felicity. Which blessing God hath united to Man, and made one with him by Matrimonial Conjunction; And hath appointed and sanctified means for his entering into, and enjoying of this happy (and also honourable) Estate, But by reason of that blindness and ignorance that is in man since the Fall, and by reason of the corruption and pravity of his nature he doth by indirect ways and means seek the enjoyment of this happiness, yet falls not only short of it, but implungeth himself into a dead sea, and Gulf of all Crosses, Discomforts, troubles, vexations, Turbulent cares, distractions, and griefs of all kinds: And passeth through this his Pilgrimage with plenty of tears, sighs, sobs, and extreme dolorous complaints; With wear, wastings, and pine away, finding life itself a burden until he come to be dissolved into the dust of death. Now (dear Christian) the means before hinted at to enjoy the happiness first mentioned, and to avoid the miseries last expressed, these poor, weak, (and perhaps contemptible) Lines ensuing will point out, though with a palsy hand. But thou must not despise the day of small things, Zach. 4.10. The less of the Creature, the more of God. God's strength is made perfect in our weakness, 2 Cor. 12.9. The excellency of power is still in God, and not in us, 2 Cor. 4.7. This Treatise was at first intended (next the glory of God) wholly for the general good. But now in my promulgating of it I do in a special manner reflect upon my Children, they being in their nonage; But they must not, nor can they monopolise it to themselves, but it will present itself to thy view, and tender some service to thee, if thou please to accept of it. (Courteous Reader) I can easily believe there will be divers circumstantial, if not some substantial Erratas in it, (and some persons of dainty palates will seek to multiply them, be they more or less (I know where the pricking thorn puts out, but it must not be pulled in, (for it will disturb none but the gauled conscience.) Truly, I can aver (and God doth know it true) that during almost all the time I was writing this out from a former Copy, I could neither stand, sit, or lie, but in very great pain, which caused much distraction of mind. But gentle Reader, my Request to thee is, that what thou findest good in these lines following, bless the Lord for; Secondly, live up to the life of it in thy practice. But what resembles thy worthless Author, and speaks him indigent, not only in the Concrete, but almost in the Abstract, (and yet no Hyperbole) that I beseech thee to make as candid a construction of as thou canst, and so to cast the mantle of thy love upon it, and censure not, but pity and pray for him who desires to pray for thee, and should rejoice to bless God for any benefit that may accrue unto thee by these ensuing Lines. Farewell.  
Thine in the Lord Jesus, THOMAS HILDERS.   

IF thou desire good days to see  
Here in this life of Sear;  
Then seek a Wife that doth with thee  
The Lord desire to fear:  
For she'll endeavour all her days  
That here she doth remain,  
To quicken thee in holy ways,  
That Heaven thou mayest attain:  
And she will still ambitious be,  
That thou mayest comfort find,  
And in this life good days mayest see  
According to thy mind.  
But such a Wife as will regard  
Thy good still as she ought,  
For to be found is very hard,  
And seldom is she sought.  
Wouldst thou this Jewel then obtain,  
Worth more than worldly Treasure,  
And it enjoy as thy great gain,  
And therein take much pleasure?  
Then unto God pray thou alone,  
Who good Wives doth bestow,  
Desiring him to give thee one  
That doth him truly know.  
For therein comfort thou mayest have  
In midst of many losses,  
As thou goest marching to thy grave  
Loaded with outward Crosses.  
And if the Lord this gift thee give,  
Then highly prise the same,  
So long as thou one day dost live,  
And ever praise his Name.   

Conjugal Counsel: OR, Seasonable advice, both to unmarried and married persons, directing the first how to enter into the Marriage estate, and the other, how to demean themselves in the Christian discharge of all such duties as that estate of life binds them to; That God may have glory, the Church edification, and themselves and Families, present and future comfort.  
WHen the Omnipotent, Immense, All-powerfull, and All-glorious Jehovah, had made and perfected that supper eminent structure of the Celestial and Terrestrial world, and all Creatures in general contained in them, Man only excepted, the Lord did then consult with himself (as we may say) about making Man in his own Image and likeness, Gen. 1.26. which he accordingly did (and therein stood the complete felicity of man in a special and peculiar manner) But in a second place, man was made glorious (though in a way of much subordination to his foresaid felicity) in that God made him to be a Microcosmus, viz. a little world, or a lively Emblem of what was before created, his body being Terrestrial, and his soul (the better part) Celestial (Oh happy man, had he continued in his Original perfection!) Wherein we may observe the singular benevolence and beneficence of God to man. But though these were transcendent degrees of man's happiness, yet this was not all, for God provides a place for man's residence on Earth, which was the most pleasant and fertile of the whole Creation here below (and therefore might well be called Paradise) whereinto God put the man, not only to dress the Garden, but to enjoy all the fruit thereof, only the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil excepted, Gen. 2.15, 16.17 But to consummate and complete man's outward full and sweet enjoyments, the Lord God resolves to make man a meet help, because he saw it not good for man to be alone, verse 18. which accordingly he did, for he made woman of a rib taken out of a man, verse 22. which Adam owns peculiarly, v. 23. Therefore the Lord joins them together in Marriage, and so makes them one flesh, v. 24. And then institutes Marriage to be an Ordinance in his Church to the end of the world; and saith, a man shall forsake Father and Mother and cleave unto his Wife, for they twain shall be one flesh: Which Institution of Marriage our Saviour repeats in Matth, 1●. 5. also in Mark 10.7. And the Apostle saith, Marriage is honourable among all men, and the bed undefiled, Heb. 13.4. From all which places there is a full confirmation, that God (and that in Man's Innocency) did ordain Matrimony, and that Matrimony is an holy Ordinance of God.  
From which (as hath been premised) it doth necessarily follow, that they deserve to lie under abundance of just reproof, that either speak contemptibly of, or any other ways do abuse this holy Ordinance of the Lord; but this but by the way.  
Marriage we say is an holy Ordinance of God, and if it were entered into according to Divine directions, and used in a holy manner, it would be (as we may say) a Heaven upon Earth, full of all outward joy; Nay, an help (being sanctified of God) to further us in the way to the fruition of glory in Heaven hereafter. But since the fall of Adam from the state of Innocency, such is the accursed deprivation of his Posterity, that out of those things which are most Excellently good in themselves, they will with the Spider suck out venomous poison, to their own destruction. And indeed, from men and women's unlawful entering into this (otherwise blessed) state of Life, and their unholy use of it, doth spring, first dishonour to God, who did Institute Marriage; Secondly, accessariness to the sin of those that contemn the Ordinance, and are afraid to enjoy it, rather choosing an unclean and beastly life. And lastly, an occasion of others rash and inconsiderate running into this estate, to the ruin of themselves and Posterity, and the increase of many poor Families: to the great prejudice of Church and Commonwealth, and divers other evils are hence produced.  

Four things to be considered of before Marriage.  In the next place we shall (by God's assistance) come to propose (for preventing evil and procuring good in the estate of Marriage) three things, very necessary (if not of absolute necessity) for every man to consider of: (and that very seriously) before Marriage, as directions about entering into that estate; Yea, and a fourth consideration to be minded in the theory before hand too (though the practic part thereof must be duly performed after words, even in the enjoyment of the Marriage condition:) First, before a man seek to enjoy the honourable estate of Marriage, he must consider what calling he hath to change his life; Secondly, what ends he ought to propound to himself in desiring such change. Thirdly, what means he is to use to obtain his desires. Lastly, he must before Marriage labour to be throughly instructed in the duties that Married persons own each to other, and both to their Families as they consist both of Children and Servants.  
First, before any man labour to enjoy the marriage condition, he must clearly see he hath a lawful calling thereto; if it be demanded, How shall a man know that?  
I answer, Thou mayest know it, first, by thy fitness for that condition; Secondly, by thy unfitness for a single life.  
If it be again demanded, how may a man know when he is fit to enter into the marriage condition?  
I answer, There is a threefold fitness which every man must have in some competent measure, before he use means to change his single life for the Marriage estate; First, spiritual gifts; Secondly, fitness of Age; Thirdly, fitness of Estate or outward ability for such a condition.  
But if it be again demanded, what need is there of spiritual gifts in such as enter the Marriage estate?  
I answer, there is need, yea, such great need of them, that where they are not in some good measure, there is no fitness for Marriage; for,  
When a man enters into that estate, he becomes the Husband of a Wife, and in process of time the Father of Children, and the Master of Servants, and these souls are committed to his Charge, and God hath made him a Watchman over them. Now if souls be not well Governed by such as have the Charge of them, they will go astray, (if not lost for ever) and if they receive prejudice through thy inability, or neglect, God will require their blood ●t thy hands; Consider that dreadful threatening Ezek. 33.8. I assure thee it will reach full home in this case.  
Now I demand of thee, how wilt thou, or how canst thou govern souls without spiritual gifts? See then the necessity of them, and labour for them before hand.  
But if any do yet again demand, what spiritual gifts are requisite to enable a man to govern the souls of such as are committed to him? I answer,  

The first spiritual gift requisite to Governors.  The first spiritual gift necessary as before said, is Divine knowledge; A man had not need to be an Ignorant lot that is to govern others, it cannot but be supposed that in the best Families there are some know nothing of Jesus Christ; now our Saviour tells us, that if the blind lead the blind, both fall into the ditch, Mat. 15.14. Peter doth require Knowledge in Husbands, 1 Pet. 3.17. Knowledge is of great use if it be but in the managing some outward calling, it is of much more use in spiritual employments. David had much knowledge, Psal. 119.99. and he doth well improve it, Psal. 34.11. to teach and instruct his Children. God complains his People were destroyed for want of knowledge, Ho●. 4.6. Truly Beloved, those poor souls that live in a Family where the Master is ignorant cannot gain knowledge in such a Family. Abraham did teach his Children and Servants, which he could not do without knowledge, Gen. 18.19. Joshuah will himself and his Family fear the Lord, so that doubtless himself was a very knowing Christian. Beloved, every Christian is as well a Prophet in his own house to teach, as a King to rule, or as a Priest to offer the sacrifice of prayer to God. Private Christians may (observing due rules) exercise their gifts in their Families, when it is most notorious presumption to do it in public; but how can they that have no gifts exercise any; besides, a Family is a Society, and (if Godly) a Church. Now in all societies or Churches there must be Discipline exercised, and good Government maintained, as the Apostle doth imply, 1 Tim. 3 5. Now an ignorant Housholder is fit to be governed by others than be a Governor, I desire to mention it, to the shame of such as are Ignorant (I mean such as are wholly ignorant) of the duties of a Master of a Family, and yet dare sit down in his place.  

A second spiritual gift, etc.  A second spiritual gift, necessary for the governing a Family, is Wisdom, for Wisdom and Knowledge are two distinct gifts, or graces; for a man may have Knowledge, 
2 Chr. 1.10.  and yet want Wisdom: Solomon prays to the Lord to give him Wisdom and Knowledge (Wisdom he mentions in the first place) to go out and come in before that great People, that is, to walk wisely before them and that he might be able to govern them, and to teach them. I will walk wisely (saith David) in the midst of my house, Psa. 101.2. A man must have Wisdom to walk before his Wife and Family, in giving good Examples unto them, that they (seeing his wise and Christian carriage in every thing) may be provoked to follow him; he must likewise have Wisdom, that he may be able to encourage them that do well in well-doing, and to reprove them that do ill; he must have Wisdom to moderate his love, his anger, and all his passions, toward all that are under him. Thus you see what great need there is (also) of Wisdom, in such men as have the government of others committed to them.  

The third spiritual gift.  The third spiritual gift which Governors must labour after, is patience; There must be a patiented bearing with Infirmities, and great forbearing, when they are not enormities, and especially when the party is easily convinced, and reform. Paul propounds his long-suffering, charity and patience to Timothy (in 2 Tim. 3.10.) for him to imitate, and practice toward them that God had set him over. Saint James would have Patience have her perfect work, James 1.4. the grace of Patience is necessary for a Christian in the general course of his life; Therefore for domestic Government too; Impatience is a Gangrene, which eats out the heart and vitals of Love, a man (much more a Christian) must not give sharp words, much less fall to blows for every trivial offence, for that will discourage (especially) young people, and dull their spirits; it will sometimes be a man's discretion to look but with half an eye upon a fault, yet he may give a loving admonition, which will be sufficient where good natures are especially to be found; whatever is the duty of a Bishop in relation to household government, is undoubtedly the duty of every Christian, as the Master of a Family, and such a one must not be a brawler, but patiented, 1 Tim. 3.3.  
The fourth and last spiritual gift, 
The fourth spiritual gift.  which Governors must labour for, is Humility; which gift, or grace, I dare not lay down as an essential qualification for one empowered over other, but only as a very necessary concomitant to such a person to help him against vainglory, pride, and abuse of his place to sin, and so to his own hurt; for there is a time, saith Solomon, Eccles. 8.9. that one man ruleth over another to his own hurt; Rehoboam his roughness, and Imperious carriage toward those, over whom by right of Succession he was to rule as their King, made the Major part of them to revolt, and cast off their due subjection, to the loss of his own Honour, and their extreme prejudice both of soul and body, 2 Chro. 10.6, 8, 13, 16, 17. Yet though it be very necessary that a person elevated to a place of Government over others should be humble, and that for the premised considerations; This doth not tie up the genius of a man in power that he may not, upon some occasion, (and in his carriage to some persons) behave himself with much gravity and reservedness, yea, and with some kind of Majesty too, to preserve his per●on and place from contempt and scorn, and from disesteem from Children and Servants; ●or, some such Children and Servants there are, that if they can esp●e cut in their Parents and Masters a spirit of Puss●lanimity, they will trample all their Commands, and the Authority itself by which they command, under their swinish feet, which a wise Governor will labour to prevent, by shunning the occasions of it: Thus we have done with discussing the three essential gifts, and the fourth (which hath been handled with Caution) being a very necessary one, all which do or may concern every man, intending the marriage estate; and therefore he must beforehand labour to have the knowledge of them, which are as you have seen, first, Knowledge; secondly, Wisdom; thirdly, Patience; and lastly, Humility: And so we proceed to the consideration of the second qualication fitting for the Marriage condition.  

The second qualification considerable on the first head.  The second qualification to be considered of beforehand, is fitness of Age; None can be thought fit for Marriage in None-age, there must be Maturity and ripenesse-both in body and mind for that Estate, or else the entrance into it is unlawful; The gifts of mind before mentioned cannot be expected in Youths and Children; There cannot be prudence to manage a Calling to bring maintenance in by it such; such cannot be profitable in Church not Common wealth. Yea, Nature doth teach us, that there is a deficiency in all persons until they be come to some reasonable Age, to perform some duties that the Marriage condition requires. Juda gave Tamar a fair Account why at present he would not give Shelah to her in the Marriagebed; Which was because he was not grown, (but it was his sin that he did it not when he was fit for that condition,) Gen. 38.11. Isaac was forty years old when he marries Rebeccah, Gen. 25.20. But in this Age of the World it is not convenient to stay so long before change of our conditions, for few that so do, do enjoy that great blessing of living to see their Children to be grown to some maturity, settled in some good Calling, and bestowed in Marriage, much less to see their children's Children, which is a blessing God promiseth to his people, Psal. 128.6. Yet it is undeniable that there must be (as we said) a ripeness of Age before Marriage: But we proceed no further in this particular in this place, because we shall have an occasion to fall upon it again in another.  
The third and last qualification, 
The third qualification fitting for Marriage from the first head.  or consideration before Marriage, is, to see a fitness in Estate for such a condition of life. The Marriage estate brings with it great Charge and Expense, therefore, before this fall upon a man, he had need to see some probable ways and means to carry him through all. A man will not take a chargeable journey but he will put money in his purse to supply his necessities, unless he know he shall meet with supplies by the way; so in this case, a discreet Christian will not Marry until he can comfortably conclude that his present, or future means will be sufficient to keep him from poverty, pinching poverty, and destruction, and from lying as a burden on others, that place in Rom. 12. the latter end of the 17. verse may be applicable here: Provide things honest in the sight of all men; He that doth not provide for his own, especially such as are of his own Family, hath denied the faith, and is worse than an Infidel, 1 Tim. 5.8. Jacob took care for his own Family, Gen. 30.30. But some may say, that was after, not only his Marriages, but after he had many Children; Therefore when his condition becomes mine I will take the like care, but it may be I shall never have any Chargeable Family. But for answer, know, that if thy condition did run parallel with his, before, and at the time of Marriage, thou needst take no great care beforehand; for, first his Father was exceeding rich, and had but two Children, (and no doubt but that Jacob had a large portion in due time of his Father's estate, though the Holy Ghost mention no such thing;) but secondly, Jacob married with a very wealthy Family, and his Father in Law had reason to maintain him and his Charge, and that liberally, when jacob was no way spating in his great pains and care to increase Laban's estate, which indeed Laban himself doth acknowledge. Gen. 39.27. When the Servant of Abraham was to go to Padan Aram, to treat about a Marriage for Isaac his Master's Son, it is very observable, That in the first place he makes a Narrative to Bethuel and Laban of his Masters plentiful estate, and then comes to the business of the desired Marriage, he having implicitly made it appear, that his young Master was well provided for to maintain a Wife, and any Charge God should cast on him, Gen. 24.35. Doubtless there is much to be minded in the Lords own method this way; We know God did plentifully provide for Adam and Eve before they were (and then surely before their Marriage) But these things premised occasions a question to be propounded, and that is, Whether a man may not Marry until he have Lands, or stock in Money, or in Goods and Chattels? I answer, that in case a man have neither of them, yet if God have given him an honest Calling, and a Heart to depend upon Divine providence in the use of lawful means, and in special find himself (through free grace) to have an interest in the promises of God for all good things; He may conclude his call to Marriage is as clear as the call of any person in the world, upon his yearly revenue and stock in any kind, for such a man shall have for necessity, if not for delight, (except the Lord see a strait and wanting condition best, in relation to his own glory, and such a poor man's present good, and eternal happiness.) God hath promised, the hand of the diligent shall make rich, Pro. 10.4. and that he that laboureth shall be filled with bread, Pro. 12.11. God will give his Beloved plenty with quiet sleep, Psal. 127.2. God telleth Abraham he was a God all-sufficient: only bids him walk before him and be upright, Gen. 17.1. First seek the kingdom of God, and the righteousness thereof (saith Christ) and all other things shall be administered to you, Mat. 6.33. read that place in Heb. 13.5. to all which Promises there might be a large addition, if necessary, only let me here add that of Solomon, Prov. 10.22. The blessing of the Lord maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it; where note, that these outward things are called blessings, (and indeed so they are) which doth imply, that we must beg them at the hand of God by Prayer, and indeed God tells us as much, Ezek. 36.37. and if you mind that Chapter, you shall find that temporal things (and of those we treat) as well as spiritual are there promised; but if you would speed when you ask these blessings, take heed you regard not wickedness in your hearts, for if you do, God will not hear you Secondly, take heed you turn not your ears from hearing the Law of God, for if you do, your Prayers shall be abominable, Pro. 27.9. Thirdly, beware thou ask not these blessings to consume them on thy lusts, for if you do, you are like to miss of them, James 4.2 3. Fourthly, be sure thou ask no outward thing of God but with a willingness to be denied, if he think it best. It's an easy thing for such poor Ignorant Creatures as we are to be much mistaken about the nature of outward blessings, and the fittest seasons for God to bestow, and we to receive them. But the Lord cannot be mistaken. Most excellent to this purpose is the saying of Luther, upon Psal. 100LS. 1. God (saith he) in that he is good can give nothing but tha● which is good, but we many times do crave that thing which is not good indeed, but seemeth so to us. Thus Luther. Also Bernard is singular this way: Brethren (saith he) as concerning your Prayers have no doubt, but assure yourselves, that as soon as the word passeth out of your Mouth it is Written and Registered in Heaven, in the presence and sight of God, and either it shall be done as ye have asked, or else it is expedient not to be done. Thus far Bernard likewise. Take heed, be not inordinate, but easily denied of God; ask no outward things, but on condition God see it expedient to bestow them, for if thou wilt not be denied, thou mayest have the seeming sweet meat, but the real sour ●ace Rachel had, when she must have Children or die, Gen. 30.1. but mind the issue of it, Gen. 35.16, 17, 18, 19 And so the Children of Israel must have flesh, Num. 11.4, 5, 6. They cannot be satisfied without it; but they had it (as one well said) with a vengeance, as appears in the 31, 32, and 33. verses of this Chapter. Lastly, labour to promote the worship of God to thy power, for else thy estate may be deplorable enough, Hag. 1.6. But if it should be the good pleasure of the Lord to exercise thee with seeming want, yet, if he be also pleased to sanctify such a condition to thee, thou hast that which is more than equivalent to all outward mercies in the world; Beloved, if thou canst live upon God, and enjoy a holy contentation in thy soul in the want of outward things thou art one of the richest men on this side Heaven, labour then, I say, to have an interest in God, in and through Christ. Thus I hope I have put no discouragements on thee to stave thee off from taking the benefit and comfort of Marriage, for want of Lands or stock in any kind, but I rather desire thee to take it, especially if thou canst not with comfort to thy body, and safety to thy soul, contain thyself longer in the single life, which brings me to the next particular, which is the second demonstration of a lawful call to Marriage.  

A second and clear ground for Marriage.  A second, and clear ground, demonstrating a man's call to enter into the Marriage life, is, when the Lord is pleased to deny him the gift of chastity and continency (for the gift of chastity is given of God, to whom he please, and when he please, and denied as he thinks fit) for when it is wanting, a man is disabled to keep his soul and body for to be the Temple of the Holy Ghost, and for his residence, 1 Cor. 6.19. being carried away with noisome lusts, by beastly and impure affections: Now when thou art in this condition it is thy sin if thou neglect any good opportunity to help thyself by entering into the state of Marriage, for it is one kind of grieving the spirit, when he would make choice of thy body to live in, and thou dost baracado up thy heart against him, by nourishing uncleanness in thee, whereby thou dost invite the Devil to possess thee, and dost set open the doors of thy heart to receive him, to rule in thee, as in his own Vassal, to God's dishonour, and thy own ruin, it is time I say, for thee then to look about thee, and to use that remedy which God hath sanctified and appointed for thy spiritual and corporal benefit; To avoid Fornication let (saith the Apostle) every man have his own wife, etc. 1 Cor. 7.2. it is better to marry than to burn by carnal Lusts, and fleshly concupiscence. This may suffice to inform thee of thy call to Marriage; first, by thy fitness for that Estate; secondly, thy unfitness for the single life.  
It will in the next place be necessary to consider what ends thou must aim at in desiring the marriage Estate, and they are three in special; First, the glory of God in the propagating of his Church. Secondly, The mortifying (not satisfying) thy own corruptions. Thirdly, The mutual comfort which that Estate doth afford both to man and wife.  
The first and principal end every man is to aim at in his desiring Marriage, 
The first end of Marriage.  is (I say) God's glory in the propagating of his Church; That there may be a certain number of men and women to glorify God by their holy lives unto the end of the world, which without Marriage cannot be expected. There may be (I confess) an unclean Generation of Men and Women to the end of Time without Marriage, but the Lord would have a godly seed preserved, Mal. 2.15. Even such a seed as may glorify God in this life, and be everlastingly glorified in the world to come. If then the propagating of God's Church ought to be the chiefest thing we are to aim at in our desiring the Estate of Marriage, (which neither Men nor Angels can deny) Then by the way, it may be a word of just reproof to many Men and Women that are afraid of Marriage lest they should have Children; as also of divers who are married, that use all means possible to prevent great increase of Children: But let these, both married, and unmarried, know, that they have a diabolical spirit, they would counter-worke God if possible, and frustrate his holy aims by their impure principles; this their carriage (so far as they approve of it) doth evidently declare, they are wholly self-seekers; but let them seek for grounds of comfort where they can, I know not where, nor from whence they can expect it: And as for you who are married, and use means to frustrate the Lords own principal end in instituting of Marriage; I beseech you seriously to mind the sin, and punishment of a bird of your own feather, (viz) Onan, Gen. 38.9, 10. Now what if the Lord never since punished the same sin in the same kind, dare you conclude, that God hates not such a sin now as he then did? I dare more safely conclude, that God hates your groundless presumption, and were your eyes but open you might fear the Lord hath punished you long ago with a heavy punishment, even with hardness of heart, and wilful Impenitency, which is far worse than all temporal punishment in the world; (and doubtless none can conclude infallibly that Onans punishment was more than temporal.) But some may perhaps say, We are not against having of Children, we much desire to see the fruit of our own Bodies: But we are afraid indeed of having many, lest we should not be able to put bread into their mouths. Truly, let me tell thee, that if thy Children were created by thee, and so none of God's Creatures, (take this as spoken only by way of supposition) there would no bread be found on Earth, nor Manna from Heaven, neither Terrestrial, nor Celestial means to preserve them from perishing (and that immediately) both in their souls and bodies; for God would take no care for them, and thou couldst take none: But poor soul I know, that thy Children being as much God's Creatures as thyself, or as the Angels in Heaven, thou must labour (even in relation to thy Children) to have faith in God, as well in this case, as Christ exhorted his Disciples in another, Mark. 11.22. God giveth the beast his food, and to the young Ravens when they cry, Psal. 147.9. Naturalists do observe, that when the old Raven hath hatched her Eggs, and that the Young come forth, they being for ten days covered with a kind of white downy feathers, the old one owns them not, takes no pains to feed them till this white down be off and the black feathers put forth, and they say, that during those ten days (that the old one neglects them) the Lord feeds them with the influence of the Air, but let that pass, we know God feeds not only the young Ravens, but the old too; consider further that God feeds the Fowls of the Air, (that is, all the Fowls,) Mat. 6.26. Read the place and mark the Inference by way of Interrogation; and Interrogations (we say) imply sometimes the strongest Negations: and sometimes the clearest Affirmations, the last is here implied. God cloaths the Lilies of the field, Mat. 6.28, 29, 30. pray mind the Inference there too; We sometimes use a choice Proverb, God never makes mouths but he provides meat; Oh that we could well improve this Proverb to a more full relying on God than we ever attained to, to this day. Beloved, let me tell you, you cannot distractingly care for yourselves, or for your Children, but you question either the Attributes of God, or your Interest in him; Do you doubt whether God be Omnipotent, and so able to do you and yours good? Or his willingness, or faithfulness to perform his promises? Truly, if you do you infinitely derogate from God, and much provoke him; Mind the sin of the Israelites, can God prepare a Table in the Wilderness? Psal. 78.19, 20, 21. Mind also the sad effects of this God-provoking sin. Truly, I shall tell thee, (and I beseech thee to consider what I say) Thou canst as well keep one hundred Children as one, (I know this is a Paradox,) But thou must know, thou canst not keep one (to speak properly) no not thyself, for thou and thine, yea, and all the Creatures in the world have their allowance from God, and are kept at his Table (as we may say) and at his Charge; The Lord hath a great Family, but were it ten thousand times bigger, he hath such an inexhausted store-house of provision of all kinds, that not one of them could want; ease thyself then of thy cares (I mean distracting, and distrustful cares) and cast them upon God, who careth for thee, 1 Pet. 5.7. I am God all-sufficient, (saith the Lord to Abraham) walk before me and be upright; Do thou but labour to walk before God and to be upright, and then thou mayest act faith on God's Al-sufficiency to do good to, and for thee and thine. Let me yet a little further argue with thee about this particular; Thou sayest (in effect) thou art afraid that if thou shouldst have many Children they would undo thee; How can this be? when the Lord affirms Children to be a blessing; mind these two places, first, Psal. 127.5. where the Holy Ghost speaking of Children, saith, Blessed is the man who hath his quiver full of them; Secondly, Psal. 128. Blessed is the man (saith the Psalmist) that feareth the Lord, and walketh in his way; (But how is he blessed?) truly, this is one part of his blessedness, that his Wife shall be like a fruitful Vine, and his Children like Olive branches round about his Table, Lothus (saith he) shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord, v. 3, 4. Children you see then are a blessing; Nay, many Children are a blessing; yea, they are as so many several blessings. Now to apply this, what a preposterous thing is this for thee to say, many Children will undo thee; Will blessings undo any? It is very Incongruous to speak or think so; it is impossible that blessings, as they are blessings, can hurt, much less undo any; I confess the abuse of blessings may undo thee, but this is per accidens, and springs from thyself; it is not the having many Children that can undo thee, but thy abuse of so rich a blessing; there is no blessings in the world enjoyed by any, but if they are unsanctified they will undo those that have the fruition of them; I have been the longer in this point, because distrust of the Lords providence in general, (but more especially) relating to means for maintenance of many Children is grown to be an Epidemical disease, overspreading the face of the Christian World. Ah, truly let me say, that thou, whosoever thou art, and myself too, should not be ashamed to take shame for this exceeding vile sin; Be then in the fear of God convinced, that the propagating of the Church in the procreation of Children was an essential, and principal end why God did ordain Marriage, and that which was the Lord's end must be thy aim: and this shall suffice for this particular.  

The second end of Marriage.  The second end we are to aim at in desisiring Marriage, is, the subduing our corruptions and base lusts, especially when we find them to be predominant; There is no man in this life but his Regeneration is only in part; (Sanctification here is at best but inchoate, in Heaven it shall be consummated) and therefore is obnoxious to temptations as in all kinds (having the seed of all sins in him) so to the sin of uncleanness in particular; Yet it must be granted, that such men as do enjoy this holy Ordinance of Marriage are more free from the concupiscence of the flesh (especially the violence of them) than they ordinarily are who enjoy not this blessed help. And the Apostle doth intimate as much, when he saith, To avoid fornication let every man have his own Wife, and every woman her own Husband, 1 Cor. 7.2. (which place to the like occasion was mentioned before, though on another head) and in ver. 8, 9 he adds, if the unmarried cannot contain let them marry, and backs his exhortation with a reason (viz) it is better to marry than to burn; it is the duty of every one to labour to preserve themselves pure and chaste Virgins unto Christ, which that person cannot do who hath an impure heart, though free from the acts of uncleanness. He that looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed Adultery in his heart, saith our Saviour, Mat. 5.28. Christ also makes the heart the proper seat and receptacle of Adultery and Fornication, Mat 15.19. Now for this heart-defilement every soul hath cause, not only to be humbled, but also thankfully to make use of the remedy prescribed of God against the same. When our Saviour reproves divorce between Man and Wife but in case of Fornication, and the sin of those that are justly divorced if they marry, the sin also of those who marry such, his Disciples say, if the case be so, it is not good to marry; Our Saviour Answers, All men cannot receive this saying save those to whom it is given, Mat. 19.11. That is to say, all men cannot (nay, no man can) at pleasure attain this gift of Chastity (for it is the gift of God) Therefore such to whom the Lord denies it ought to take the help of Marriage. But if the end of men's Marrying be rather to satisfy the lusts of the flesh than to subdue the same, they may justly fear themselves as persons never like to be gainers by such conjunctions, but to have the fire of lust so enkindled in their impure Natures, as that Chastity shall be made but combustible matter to be wholly consumed thereby, and so made unsufferable losers, which is a Judgement most dreadful; let therefore the destruction and extirpation of impure-selfe be sincerely thy aim, and endeavour in seeking the Marriage condition. We have done with this second end of Marriage, and proceed to the last.  
The last end we are to aim at in desiring Marriage, is, comfortable Society, to enjoy a solid, sweet, and bosom Companion; in which Estate (for the most part) it may be expected man is a sociable Creature, and therefore God would not have him live alone, but creates him a meet helper, Gen. 2.18. And Solomon saith, Two are better than one, Eccl. 4.9. Truly, they speak most profanely, and are every way unworthy of the comfort that Marriage doth afford, that say, A woman is a necessary evil, we may rather say she is a singular and necessary Good; yet understand she is only so, when she answers the end God made her for, that is, a meet helper, (and it is such a one that in the sequel of this small Treatise I shall endeavour to put thee on, and stir thee up to seek) such a one will fit (as we say) for every occasion, both in prosperity and adversity: in sickness and health. Next the glory of God, she will spend and be spent for the good of thee and thine; she will help bear thy burdens in every kind, she will sympathise and condole with thee in all thy sufferings: In her bosom there is a passage to receive in any secrets thou shalt think fit to impart, but no vent to let them out at to thy danger or disgrace; she will apply herself, and imply her parts of grace to help thee with spiritual Cordials in times of spiritual desertion; she will labour to further thee in the Religious and Civil government of thy Family, both of Children and Servants. She will be ready to draw with thee (as a true Yokefellow) in the plough of thy Calling, to the utmost of her knowledge and strength with all dexterity: She will with much frugality manage thy Family-expence; She will labour to help thee against thy infirmities, to prevent them if possible, however to conceal them; She will labour to comfort thee in times of sorrow and losses; Isaac lost a dear, precious, and tenderhearted Mother, and no doubt but he was very sensible of his loss, and laid it sadly to heart, yet betaking himself to a Wife, who was indeed a very gracious Woman, it is said, he was comforted after his Mother's death, Gen. 24.67. Lastly she will put forth herself to her utter most power with much pains of body, and with much and enlarged, dear, and tender Affections of heart to help thee in times of loss o● health, and when thou liest conflicting with grievous pains, and burdensome (and perhaps loathsome) diseases; I have read in Reverend Mr Bolton, his general directions for● comfortable walking with God; (A Treatise worth the weight of it in Gold) in page 252 A Narrative (which was borrowed from Vives) of a precedent in this kind, (to which I desire to refer thee) which is so singular that the whole world (I am confident) cannot produc● any that ever did outgo her in the discharge of this duty. Beloved in Christ, I am so take● up in my affections in walking in this Garde● of pleasure and profit, (I had almost said i● Paradise) that I should not be able to leave i● (and that for thy sake) until I had gathere● more flowers to bind together to present the● with, to enamour thee to labour to gain a par● therein. Yet because when thou shalt take notice of the duty the Wife doth owe to th● Husband, (which so far as she is a meet helpe● she will endeavour to discharge) I presume thou wilt be able to add to this Nosegay, and ● doubt not but they will be persuasive arguments to carry thy affections (in seasonabl● time) that way, and in the mean time, mak● thee speak with much reverence of this blessed Ordinance of God. I shall here (having ●easonable occasion) note by the way, That ●rom this last particular, (viz.) that comfortable society is one end that persons may aim at in Marriage, doth appear ground sufficient to justify the Marriage of Ancient persons, and ●uch as have over-lived the years for genera●ion, though they cannot in some way be means of increasing the Church, yet they may use ●ny means to live comfortably in the Church.  
If you should demand the question of Ancient Married persons, whether they find the Marriage estate comfortable to them in their old Age or not? They would readily return you an Affirmative Answer, that if God should ●ake away either of them, that the survivor could not live with comfort. When God took away old Sarah by death from old Abraham, 
Gen. 23.2.  ●he mourned and wept for parting with her; which doth imply he had comfort in her, though he could have no Children by her; but this being a mere unnecessary Nicety we shall ●pend no more words about it, and shall also ●desist from further prosecuting the ends to be ●imed at in Marriage, which you may perceive to be three; first, the glory of God in the propagating his Church; Secondly, the subduing our corruptions and fleshly lusts; Lastly, the enjoyment of comfortable society.  
We are in the next place to come to consider some things of the means we are to use to obtain a meet helper. 
The first means to obtain a good wife.  The first means to drive on so precious a design by, as the gaining a meet helper, is prayer; The Lord takes it as his own prerogative in a special manner to be the bestower of good Wives. House and Riches are the Inheritance of the Fathers, but a virtuous Wife is the gift of God, Pro. 19.14. Beloved in the Lord, there is no gift the Lord bestoweth but is richly worth ask; and how can we ask but by Prayer? It is a mercy that God will let us know where a mercy is lodged: Now this mercy as well as others is lodged in Heaven, Every good gift, and every perfect giving is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Lights, Jam. 1.17. Faithful Prayer hath a long Arm, it can reach from Earth to Heaven; labour then to improve prayer aright for the obtaining this blessing, and wait upon God in the use of other means, and doubt not of good speed; I am very confident, that these mercies are fullest of juice that are given us from Heaven, as in answer to faithful prayer; how full of splendour will thy Wife be in thy eye when thou look'st on her as given from Heaven? And by the way let me add, that happy are those Wives that are obtained by the faithful prayers of their Husbands: For they shall be best beloved, and most prized, because they are received by their Husbands as a love-token sent them from Heaven. The Servant of Abraham was well acquainted with the means to gain a good Wife for his Master's Son; Ask some how they come by such and such a thing, and they will tell you they got it with a silver hook, and such a hook they have that will bring them any thing in, (if you will believe them.) But this godly servant was furnished with silver and gold enough to make use of a hook or hooks to have driven on his design by, but he was better furnished than so, son he had the gracious hook of Prayer, and with that he penetrates Heaven, and there lies he tugging till he had obtained the mercy of a good Wife, and meet helper for his young Master. The same course must thou take for to obtain this mercy for thyself; and thou mayest receive encouragement to walk first in this way of seeking God by prayer, before any other means be used, if thou wilt but take a survey diligently of the blessed event the servant of Abraham had of his going to God for direction in this case: And so a blessing on his journey. As he that takes a wife without consent of Parents can look for no portion with her; so be sure that he that takes a wife without the Lords consent (as he doth in a sense that begs her not of him by prayer, (can look for no comfort, and comfort is the portion which God gives with his Daughters; nay, on the contrary, such a man may expect discomfort instead of comfort, and a curse instead of a blessing. God knows how to meet with thee, and to cause all thy Gourds of comfort to whither; make thyself certain of this, That is, if thou do neglect the performance of this duty of seeking God by prayer for a good Wife, that except thou be afterward deeply humbled for this sin, the Marriage condition shall not be sanctified to thee, and if not, thou wert better a thousand times not live in that Estate of life; for thou canst not expect so much as one Honey Month, (as we say) but many months and years of Gall and Wormwood. We sometimes advise our friends that they take heed they do not marry in haste, lest they repent at leisure, Truly, they make too much haste to marry that forget (much more slight) seeking God for direction, and a blessing this way, therefore they shall have cause enough to repent; (but God grant they may repent aright, that the curse may be turned into a blessing.) We have done with the first means we must use to obtain a good Wife, that is, prayer.  
The second means to obtain this desirable blessing, is, to look at such things in the choice of a Wife which makes her a good Wife, and a meet helper.  
Thou wilt say, what things are they? (or what particulars) that a man ought to look on in a woman as fitting her to be a good Wife, and meet helper?  
I answer, there may be some things inward, and some things outward making her such, if she enjoy them, or if not, the contrary.  
If it be demanded, what those inward qualifications be that make a woman a meet helper? 
The first qualification of a good wife.  I answer, The first is Grace, or the manifestation of the true fear of God in the heart, by the fruits of holiness in the life; without this it is not possible that a woman can be a meet helper; for if she be unable (as an instrument) to contribute something to make supplies to the necessities of the best part of a man, (that is, the soul;) How can she be a meet helper? But a graceless Wife is unable to contribute the least mite this way, therefore she can be no meet helper. Be not (saith the Apostle) unequally yoked with Infidels, 2 Cor. 6.14. which in the verses following he labours to amplify; There can be no spiritual society between a gracious and ungracious spirit. The Apostle speaks of Marrying in the Lord. The Wife is bound by the Law (saith the Apostle) as long as her Husband liveth: but if her Husband be dead she is at liberty to marry whom she will, only in the Lord, 1 Cor. 7.39. And to be joined in holy wedlock to a gracious person, is to marry in the Lord. The Apostle, in labouring to maintain his own, and his fellow Apostles privileges at large, particularizeth his, and their liberty to marry. Have we not power to lead about a Sister, a Wife, etc. power they had to marry, but his Wife must be a Sister, 1 Cor. 9.5. In the old world it was one of the principal sins that did provoke God to drown the Inhabitants thereof, that the Sons of God (and they were the godly men of that time) did marry with the Daughters of men, (that is, ungodly persons,) Gen. 6.2. David tells us, that all his delight was in the Saints, even in those that did excel in virtue, Psal. 16.3. It was the sin of Solomon that he took Idolatrous Wives, which was the cause of sad judgements spiritual and temporal on him; his Wives drew away his heart from God to their false Gods, which was a spiritual judgement: And for his idolatrous Marriages, and his Idolatry God divides his Kingdom, and leaves but a small fag of it to him in his Sons days, which was a temporal judgement, 1 King. 11. to the end of the 11. verse. Nay, for his sins (whereof ungodly Marriages was a special one,) it hath been disputable by many good Divines, whether he were saved or not? though the most Orthodox do conclude affirmatively; and they ground their Charity first upon that place, Neh. 13.26. where he is said to be beloved of his God (And whom God loveth, he loveth to the end, Joh. 13.1.) Their second ground is, that he was a Penman of Scripture, and such are called Holy men of God, 2 Pet. 1. ult. from whence they conclude he could not perish, for God will not damn holy ones. But we may safely conclude, that this sin was very fearful; Samson must have his Dalilah to dally with as a companion for his Bed, but it cost him the loss of his eyes first, and then of his life and limbs, he had a bad and sad portion with her. By the way, we may see they are much deceived, that think it may be lawful for a godly man to marry with a profane Wife, even in hopes to be a means to convert her; I grant, that sometimes it pleaseth God to honour the believing Husband, or believing Wife to be an Instrument to convert the unbeliever: But for any to presume of this at the time of wooing, or Wedding the Party opposite to the ways of God, is a groundless presumption; But were she tractable to good Counsel, and a diligent frequenter of the means of Grace, there might be some footing for hope: But if not, fear having any society with her, keep thyself at more than staff's length from her, for she is more like to pervert thee than thou art like to convert her. Solomon, whom we mentioned before, 
1 King. 11.9.  was better fenced against the danger of such temptations than thou art; for God had appeared unto him twice, which any good heart would have concluded, would so have conjoined him to God, and to his Worship, that he would never have made so much as a seeme-separation from God; yet we see, that in the day of his temptation he fell back and started from God like a broken bow. Beloved, let me then tell thee, that thou hast no cause to presume of doing such a person good who is averse from God, but of fear of thy own steadfastness, 
1 King. 21.25.  evil wives do many times make good men bad, but always bad men worse; a very Jade will draw more downhill than many good Horses will be able to draw up again: A carnal Wife will draw a man further from God, than many good Christians with all their Exhortations, reproofs, and good Counsels will be able to regain back. Beloved, it is then but need for thee to make grace the object of thy love, that thou mayest be guarded against those dangers thou art other wise like to be environed with, even of being drawn from God, and the ways of his grace. Secondly, thou must make grace the Object of thy love in regard of the helps thou shalt find by a woman of a gracious spirit to further thee in thy holy profession; She will be a means to rouse thee up against security and worldly mindedness; She will be a means of strengthening thy weak faith, and to help thee against all diffidence and doubtings, Judg. 13.22, 23. She will be a means to stir thee up to love and good works; She will be a means to help thee in the growth of grace here, and so a means of thy happiness hereafter; (Here are more flowers to add to thy begun-Nosegay in the last end of Marriage) bind them together and they will be very Odoriferous to please thy senses. Thirdly, thou hast need to make grace the Object of thy love in choosing a Wife, as thou desirest thy love should hold out to the end; For if thou make Riches the Object of thy love, they may be lost, they are subject to many casualties. Riches have wings like an Eagle and may fly away, Prov. 23.5. and when they are gone thy love will fly after. If thou make beauty the Object of thy love, that may vanish away, for favour is deceitful, and beauty is vanity, Prov. 31.30. Beauty may be taken away by sickness, or by some accidental blow in the face, by loss of an Eye, by a Canker in the Nose, or some other means, and if once gone, love will go too. If thou make Person the Object of thy love, that may suffer much detriment, crookedness may grow in a body formerly strait, such a comely body may come to want a Leg or an Arm, which will be a blemish to it; Now Person being defective, love will be the same. If thou make hope of Honour the Object of thy love, Thy wives great Kindred may fail of power to advance thee, nay of power to hold up themselves; (we want not plentiful experience of this:) Or they may be prejudiced against thee and frustrate thy expectations, and make thee see too late that thou hast but built Castles in the Air to depend on them, so all hopes that way being lost, thy love will be lost too. Now when thy love hath fetched its last gasp, it may be, happy were it for thee (in some sense) if thou and thy love might be buried both in one grave, for after love is once departed, what will, or can thy life be but a condition of grief and heart-sorrow, and great discontentment, that thou shouldst have a wife whom thou canst take no pleasure in, and wouldst with all thy heart part with, and yet it may be thou shalt not part with her until death cut thee off first. But if thou make Grace the Object of thy love, (and withal, art no whit mistaken, but thou findest it to be in the heart of thy wife in deed, and in truth;) Then as grace doth increase, so thy love will abound, but grace cannot but increase continually, therefore love will multiply in thy heart exceedingly. Now as thou desirest to be kept from Apostasy, or falling from God, and the ways of his grace: And as thou desirest to be helped forward in all Christian Counsels, and good ways: And as thou dost desire to keep life in thy love, and to increase therein, to thy own comfort, and the comfort of thy wife, so let it be thy care, in the fear of God, to look to thy own heart, that it deceive thee not, but that thou dost indeed make Grace the Object of thy love in the choice of thy wife; then thou mayest certainly expect by the blessing of God much comfort in such a Yokefellow in all thy wants of wealth, or health of soul or body, and mayest whilst thou enjoyest her begin to write encomiums of her, and when she is dead, 
Gen 35.19, 20.  then with Jacob set up a pillar upon her Grave, and perhaps mayest truly say, Many Daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all; for favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised: Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the Gates. Here we shall turn in and proceed no further in the amplification of the first inward qualification of a good wife.  

The second qualification of a good wife.  In the second place, the chief qualification of a good wife (next saving Grace) is sweet disposition of Nature, that she be of a quiet and peaceable spirit; for it is much to be bewailed, that in divers men and women, that we doubt not in the least measure but that they are very gracious, and desire to prove their souls to God in all ways of holiness, yet are of bad Natures, and themselves cannot but see it, and I doubt not but they desire to bewail it before God in secret, and yet cannot attain to have their Corruptions in this kind mortified in any comfortable way; yet it must be granted, that such persons are not (many times) comfortable Consorts; And therefore thou that art to make choice of a wife hast cause enough to endeavour to avoid laying a Conjugal tye upon thyself, to live and die with such a woman, though otherwise one of good parts. If a woman be of churlish nature, & of cross dispositons in the abstract, she will cast such a cool damp on her Husband's love, as may not only i'll, but kill it; whereby (though she may be a sad sufferer herself) she will abundantly prejudice her Husband in his comforts, and may shorten his days: For a man cannot live that cannot love; the love of any thing gives contentment to the mind to enjoy the same. A cross and tart nature in a wife un-wifes' her, (as I may say) for she that is not a meet helper, is either not a wife, or else a very imperfect one; for how can she be said to be a wife that is not a meet helper, who is unfit for comfortable society? but such a wife is as sharp and bitter, touchy and tangue by nature, will not (ordinarily) be sociable, loving, kind, and amiable in her carriages and deportments to her Husband; and doth it not concern thee to avoid her in thy choice of a wife, for such a woman as we speak of will not make a good Wife, nor good Mother, nor good Dame, or Mistress, she will not be good in any relation, (I mean, in the latter part of this discourse, where an untoward nature is predominant in a woman.) Solomon saith, It is is better to dwell in a corner of the house top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house, Prov. 21.9. He also saith, The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping, Pro. 19.13. A continual dropping will wear, waist, and consume stone, (as observation will prove). And truly, this dropping from a contentious wife will wear, waste, and consume, not only all the comforts that her Husband otherwise might have in her, but his skin, flesh, bone, marrow, and vital spirits, and all in time. The Apostle tells us, that a meek and quiet spirit in a woman is of great price with God, 1 Pet. 3.4. And so it is doubtless with every rational man; therefore as thou wouldst avoid many inconveniences in the Marriage Estate, and wear the comforts of it as a Crown of all temporal felicity: So labour to gain a woman of sweet natural dispositions, of a very Amiable and Affable carriage, of a meek and quiet spirit, the happiness whereof will be permanent.  
In the next place we shall proceed (by the help of God) to some outward (yet very necessary) qualifications for thee to pitch thy thoughts on, and to labour to obtain, that so thou mayest lay a good groundwork to prevent too late Repentance in thee for thy Rashness.  

The third qualification.  In the third place, to make an addition to thy comforts in the Marriage Estate, be very careful in thy Choice to satisfy thine Eye, both in the Person and Favour of such a One as thou wouldst enjoy for thy Consort, both in Bed, and at Board, (as we say) And in this thou must be somewhat curious. Beloved, there is a threefold Curiosity; First, there is an unnecessary Curiosity; thou mayest be nice, and this is fleshly and carnal, and may come within just suspicion of that sin of making provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof, Rom. 13.14. Secondly, there is a prudential Curiosity, and that is, when a man lays a groundwork of Contentation beforehand (yet therein observing a Mediocrity too) for the future. Thirdly, there is a conscientious Curiosity; and that is when a Christian labours to prevent temptations, and so to circumvent his spiritual Adversaries. Now the first, that is, Unnecessary Curiosity is to be condemned, but the other two to be commended, for they provide for purity of heart and life, as also for perpetuating love and sweet society. First, it provides for purity, etc. and prevents the contrary; for by undeniable consequence it will follow, That he who doth not rejoice in the Wife of his Youth; and he whose Wife is not to him as a loving Hind and pleasant Roe, will be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, Prov. 5.18, 19, 20. Rebecca was beautiful and fair, Gen. 26.7. And her Husband was taken therewith, for he could not forbear dalliance with her when it was dangerous to his life, ver. 8, 9 Which strength of his affections to her being so abundantly satisfied with her beauty; Divines render as a reason, that he only, of all the Patriarches, was preserved from the sin of Polygamy; strength of affections between married persons is a sovereign antidote against all uncleanness; And how can strength of Affections be expected where there is not satisfaction in each others persons? But where there is, there Temporal mercies become spiritual advantages; then judge, whether it be not (under this main consideration) of very great concernment to mind meeting with both person and favour in such a one as thou desirest to wed: But in a second place (yet in a way of subordination to the former) this satisfaction before spoken of, tends to the perpetuating love between thee and thy pleasing Consort. Jacob had two wives, Leah and Rachel; Now the Holy Ghost mentions no deformity in Leah, but that she was tender-eyed, but Rachel (saith the Text) was beautiful and fair (or well-favoured.) Gen. 19.17. Then in ver. 18. the Text saith, and Jacob loved Rachel, and said (to her Father) I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy youngest Daughter. He was so taken with her beauty, that he was content to serve even a seven year's apprenticeship (as we may say) for her; and verse 30. it is said, He loved Rachel more than Leah; But some may say, Hot love is soon cold, did this love hold out? I answer, 
Gen 35.19.  yea, longer than life; for after God took Rachel away by death, (who died in Childbearing) her Husband takes care two ways to preserve the remembrance of her; First, he calls her Son (whom she died of) Benjamin, (the son of my right hand;) as if he had said, this Benjamin was the son of my wife Rachel, who was as dear to me as my right hand; His mother had called him Benoni (as much as to say, the son of my sorrow;) but that name must not pass, because it would not hold out the strength of jacob's affection to Rachel; Secondly, Rachel must have a Pillar erected on her grave (as we noted before on another occasion) for an Honourable remembrance of her to posterity, and it was called the pillar of Rachel's grave, saith the Text, Gen. 35.20. Yet further mark the expressions of Jacob concerning Rachel, (many years after her death, as the Narrative of them are made by Judah,) And thy Servant my Father said unto us, Ye know that my wife bore me two Sons, Gen. 44.27. [My Wife] which as it is here used is an emphatical expression, he doth not say one of my wives, nor yet my wife Rachel, but my wife; he seems to forget that Leah was his wife, or as if he had no wives lying in his bosom but only Rachel. I say, A man being fully satisfied in his Wife's person and favour, his love is perpetuated, it prevents many sad eruptions, heart-breakings, and unkindnesses; it sweetens society, it helps to a comfortable bearing of afflictions, it easeth cares; do not think it to be a trivial thing to labour to receive full content in the person of thy wife; I am able to acquaint thee, that I knew a Gentleman who was very godly, that being to look out for a Wife (which was indeed to be a second wife,) he took special care to meet with one truly gracious, and of a sweet, loving, and meek nature, (and I am able with much confidence to aver he was not frustrate therein;) But in the mean time did deny himself about her person, for he was so taken with the other two, that he accepted of a person crooked, and of hard favour; but within short time (sad is it to tell) he takes her defects into consideration, and by degrees falls to slight his wife, and then to hate her, and take no delight in society with her, who being once (in special) in a great passion and rage against her in the time of Family Prayer, did in her own hearing, and in the presence of divers of his Children, (grown up to some discretion) and also in the hearing of his Servants, earnestly beg of God to discover unto him that great sin of his that did provoke him to give him a crooked wife. Truly, it was a crooked prayer, and did mightily disturb (and not without cause) this precious wife. It is true, that favour is deceitful, and beauty is vanity, as hath been considered already: But that hath been only in relation to the making it the Object of thy love, for so it is vain and sinful; yet it hath its use, and some eyes must have many grains of it too to make a well accomplished wife for them. Here by the way, how much than are those Parents to blame, that strain their power over their Children beyond due limits, in laying engagements and commands on them to like of such persons for Husbands, and Wives, for them, as they shall think most meet, which if they will not (because many times they cannot, by reason they are not able to close in their hearts and affections with their persons and favours;) then they must be frowned upon, called disobedient Children, and disinherited, cast off as if they were but a bastard Generation: But if this (in a special manner) be not a provoking Children to wrath, and a discouraging of them, I know not what is; which sin of Parents the Apostle forbids, Col. 3.21. Now in the fear of God let Parents be admonished to beware of this sin, of enforcing their Children to accept of such Husbands, and Wives, as themselves only chose without, nay, against the free consent of their Children. But if Parents will not be exhorted to the contrary, let them know, that they are in a high degree accessary to all the brawlings and contentions that fall out after such Marriages between their Children, and they must answer before the Bar of God's Tribunal for all breach of Covenant, all Marriagebed defilement, for all poison, or other bloody plots to take away the natural lives of either person; and they are guilty of all disorders, of all non-performance of Family duties, of all dishonour brought to God by their Children in the Marriage estate, and (so by undeniable consequence) of their children's Damnation for such sins, though the Children are accountable before God for their own sins too. Thou that art a Father, or Mother, remember that saying, Call the Maid and ask at her mouth, Gen. 24.57. We have been larger on this particular than was at first intended, but (Beloved) we hope for thy profit; and so we conclude it, and pass on.  

The fourth qualification, etc.  In the fourth place, if thou wouldst have a meet helper thou must look at fitness of Age in that woman whom thou desirest to be thy Wife; Or else how canst thou expect meet help from her in all conditions; If a man of fit age for Marriage choose a girl for his Wife, or if a Young Man Marry with an old woman, and expect furtherance from such in that estate of life, they befool themselves; for the Girl stands in need of a Dame to instruct her in all points of womanhood to fit her for to be a good wife, and the old woman stands in need of a Nurse to wait on her in her decrepit Age. Now in this particular we shall use the more conciseness, because we have spent some time this way before, yet we must confess, those lines did chief relate to cautionate the Man not to mind Marriage before ripe in Age for that state of life; But as a man must not marry till of fit Age, so neither must he choose a wife therein unfit; yet both Divinity and Philosophy will justify that man that doth match himself to a Girl, rather than he who doth marry an old woman; for a Girl may in time become a woman fit to bear Children, and guide the house, as the Apostle requires, 1 Tim. 5.14. which are spiritual ends of Marriage: But the old woman will be more and more unfit; Now though it be not convenient that a woman of eight or ten years older than the man should be joined in Marriage with him, yet no man of understanding dare deny, but that it may be lawful, provided that the woman be not past Childbearing, and withal, be of an able and healthful constitution: But if otherwise, two special ends of Marriage are frustrate, and then it is a sin against God, and Nature too, to be so joined in Marriage: But when a man about twenty six years old shall be married to a Maid of about twenty, or a Man about thirty years old shall marry with a maid about twenty four, such Conjunctions are of good report; and such persons, as they are Youthful together, so they grow aged together, and are never estranged in their affections one towards another, if other qualifications also correspond. And besides, the fruit of such Marriages ordinarily (by the blessing of God) is to have Children betimes in youthful days, when their Parents can best care for them, and take pains with them, which Children, if the Lord give them grace, prove as a staff or support to their Parents, (under God) in their old Age, which is a blessing abundantly desirable. But all men both Religious and Moral do condemn such men as in their youthful days will (for any sinister end in the world) join themselves in Marriage with women of above fifty (nay, 
Gen 18.23.  sometimes above sixty) year's Old. There can be no Issue from such Marriages, unless God work a miracle, which who can expect without great presumption. And besides, this disagreement in years breeds a disagreement in life; for a young man cannot entirely love a woman so much older than himself, that when he is in the prime of his years and strength, that then his wife should be crazy, unhealthful, unhandsome (for him to have near society with,) and of a withered body, whereby he is Obnoxious to an inundation of temptations of all kinds, from his spiritual enemies (even) to uncleanness, to unbridled passions, to Company-keeping, and so to the neglect of the duties of his Calling, and of his Family, and so to lavish expense, to the undoing of him and his; thus I leave to thyself to judge, whether a fit Age be a good qualification in a woman to make her a meet helper to thee in the Marriage estate or no.  

The fifth qualification, etc.  The fifth Qualification necessary to make a woman a meet helper, is, to be descended from the Loins of godly Parents: But before I proceed to show thee how this is necessary, I shall briefly premise one thing, (viz.) That thou mayest warrantably take a wife from India, (whose Parents were Heathens,) from Rome, from Spain, or out of any profane and irreligious Family, provided, that herself be a sincere Convert, a godly, pious, and religious woman; for it is not her Parents and thee, but she and thou that make but one flesh; this premised, I say, it is necessary to marry a wife out of a godly Family; First, in relation to thy Offspring; Secondly, to thyself; First in relation to thy Offspring; for hereby the Covenant of Grace runs to them in the fuller stream, the entail is the stronger, (as I may say.) God threatens to visit the iniquity of the Fathers upon the Children, but to the third and fourth Generation, of them that hate him: But he promiseth, to show mercy unto thousands of them that love him, and keep his Commandments, Exod 20.5, 6. God makes a Covenant with seeds seed, Isa. 59.21. If thy Children can look back, and upon good grounds conceive their Progenitors for many Ages past did fear the Lord, they may (if they fear the Lord themselves) comfortably conclude, that through free Grace they have an Interest in the Covenant of Grace, even in that Covenant that God made with Abraham to be the God of him and his seed for ever, & so may comfortably improve that Covenant, by a true and lively faith, to assure their souls that they are, not only members of the visible, but of the Invisible Church of Christ; and that they may do this, remember that I said, they must fear the Lord themselves, and they must have a ●ively faith, or else all the faith and holiness of their Parents, at a further or nearer distance, will stand them in no stead, in relation to spiritual advantages: But as for outward blessings, ●ll the Children of the faithful may have the greater portion of them for their faithful Parent's sake on both sides, I say, on the Mother's side, as well as on the Fathers; I have been young (saith David) but now am old, yet never saw the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread, Psal. 3.7.25. Then in the 26 ver. He is ever merciful and dareth, and his seed is blessed. Again, if thy wife be of the seed of the faithful, then both she and her Children are interested into the benefit of their Fore father's prayers, (we mean in this place only for outward things.) Abraham prays unto God for Ishmael Oh (saith he) that Ishmael might live in thy sight. Gen 17.18. Then in the 20. v. God answereth him, As for Ishmael (saith God) I have heard thee, Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, twelve Princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great Nation. Beloved, you may here note, That not only Ishmael himself shall have the benefit of Abraham's prayers, but his seed also, for they should be Princes, and indeed a great Nation, and yet they were Abraham's seed only according to the flesh; (but had they been his spiritual seed too, these mercies might have been sanctified to them and so made the greater.) Indeed, the Prayers of the righteous avail much, Jam. 5.16. Lastly, as thou desirest to have comfort in thy Wife's kindred, thou must labour to choose her, as one springing from the stock of the faithful; for as thou dost marry her to be thy wife, so thou dost marry her kindred (as I may say) to be thy kindred. And what comfort canst thou have (when thou art of a Heavenly frame of spirit thyself) to have society and communion with a carnal and irreligious kindred? Surely but little: So much also for this fift particular.  
The sixth qualification which is necessary to be looked after in the choice of a Wife, is, 
The sixth qualification, etc. ●  a competent outward Estate; And herein I might save my labour to put this down for a direction to some, for it is the first thing, nay, the all in all their hearts are affected with, except the Amorous reflectings of their wanton eyes on some paint, and Features in the Face, and completeness of person, merely to satisfy their wanton, fleshly, and sensual appetites (which in this kind is unlawful, though otherwise commendable, as before discussed.) I would have every man in a due place, and with some moderation of his exorbitant affections, not only look after, but labour for, a convenient portion with his wife in Marriage, and that as he desires her to be a meet helper. And first, because the things of this life are the good Creatures of God: they are blessings, nay, singular blessings, when sanctified to us, & of special use to us whilst we are in this our Pilgrimage, to carry us through the world without distractions and worldly encumbrances, that we may with the more enlargedness of heart walk with our God in a holy Conversation and that with cheerfulness: Only, we had need take great heed we trust not in uncertain Riches, but in the living God, 1 Tim. 6 17. and that if Riches increase we set not our hearts upon them, Psal. 62.10. I say, we have need to prevent these evils, because all blessings both spiritual and temporal are sanctified to us but in part. Again in the second place, it is lawful for a man to mind a portion with his Wife, because it is the duty of Parents to lay up portions for, & to give portions to their Children, 2 Cor. 12.14. The Apostle lays it down positively, that it is the duty of Parents to lay up for their Children: though he apply the same in a spiritual sense. Job gave his Daughter's Inheritance among their Brethren, Job 42.15. Elkanab gives unto his Sons and Daughters Portions, 1 Sam. 1.4. When Galeb bestows his Daughter in Marriage to Othniel, he gave him a portion with her over a Southland, and after on her demand, the upper and nether springs, Judg. 1.13.15. In the third and last place, a man may look at portion with a wife, because he cannot live at so low a rate when he is married as he could when he was a single man, and his wife doth increase (or help to increase) this his Charge, therefore there is all the reason in the world she should bring some additional maintenance; For Money answereth all things, saith Solomon, Eccl. 10.19. We have a Proverb, that Money will keep love warm; I must confess, that it may be true thus, that as Money answereth all things, (as Solomon hath before said) so it takes away all distractions and perturbations from the spirit, and so leaves a man free with the greater torrent of love to run into the bosom of his wife, and in a Reciprocal way to receive the like from her again. But Beloved, I beseech thee beware of wedding a purse of Money; I have acquainted thee with the casualties and dangers that may overtake those that make wealth the Object of their love: And let me tell thee whoever thou art that art Muck-warme, thou mayest fear, that all the happiness thou wilt meet with in thy choice of a Wife will be confined in a purse, or in a bag of trash, (for so is the gold of Ophir in comparison of a virtuous wife, nay her price is fare above riches; 
Pro. 31.10. ) Therefore if God hath lent thee a sufficient outward Estate to carry the charge of Marriage about withal, then, though it may be lawful for thee to look at some portion with a yoke-fellow, and thou mayest thankfully receive what God hath provided for thee; yet if the portion be but small, nay, if none at all but spiritual virtues, even the riches of the mind, let (in such a case) the thoughts of riches pass, and accept of the woman with her inward treasure; and as Mordecai said unto Hoster in another case, Who knoweth whether thou art come to the Kingdom for such a time as this, Hos. 4.14. So I say unto thee, who knoweth but that God hath given thee thy wealth for such a time as this, even to enlarge the outward comfortable living of such a precious woman, who spiritually doth live in the bosom of Jesus Christ; We shall desist from further prosecution of this sixth qualification, 
The seventh qualification in a woman.  and proceed to the next.  
The seventh qualification (or necessary engredient) to make a woman a meet helper, is, frugality or good Housewifery, and this doth in a fit place succeed the last foregoing qualification: for that did fully and clearly make it out to be lawful for a man to have an eye in Marriage to a woman's outward estate (always provided, that it must be in due place, and moderate.) But what advantage will it be to a man to have a great portion with his wife, if she be expensive, wasteful, profuse, & prodigal in her carriage; such a wife will make good two Proverbs, that is, she will bring a noble soon to ninepences; And what she brings in with a rake she will disperse with a fork: This is the foolish woman Solomon complains of, that p●●s down her house with her hands, Prov. 14.1. Such a woman will soon bring herself, her Husband and Children to a Morsel of bread. It's too well known, that some painful, careful and industrious Husbands cannot get beforehand in the world, but are always hinderly, and beggarly, by means of their wives, who are most jolly, jocund, and junketting Dames in the Towns and Places where they live; These will rob their Husbands at every ruin, take Money out of his purse; nay, make Money of Meat out of the powdering tubs, Come out of their Chambers, Bread out of the Cupboards. Oh these are worse than Highway Thiefs, for they might be avoided, but these sometimes are not so much as suspected; but were they, how shall a man's ruin be prevented from being brought by such Caterpillars perpendicularly upon his head? Beloved, if thou wouldst avoid such an unsufferable Cross in the Marriage condition, take heed then beforehand that thou be not ensnared with a Maid or Widow of a frolic disposition beware of those who are gadders abroad to Fairs, and every meeting of pleasure; take heed of such as are full of levity, figging here and there, not knowing in what place, nor in what company to spend their time; It's very true, that if thou canst meet with a wife qualified with true grace, thou needst not fear such an unmeet wife as we here mention, but (with great grief be it expressed, that) though it be a man's duty to aim at obtaining a gracious wife, as we have said, yet there is a kind of infinite difficulty in meeting with such an one; And you shall hear a woman (even the Mother of King Solomon) say as much, Pro. 31.10. And according to the judgement of divers Orthodox Divines, Solomon doth aver the self same in his Eccles. a book which he wrote after his repentance for his Idolatry and lose walking with his God, wherein he doth complain that among his thousand Wives and Concubines together (for so many he had in all, seven hundred of one, and three hundred of the other, 1 King. 11.3.) he found not one that was a godly woman, Eccl. 7.27, 28. Therefore to conclude this particular likewise, let me entreat thee to take up this direction to labour to walk thereby, and I dare assure thee thou shalt no whit repent of thy pains herein.  

The eighth qualification in a woman.  The eighth and last qualification to be eyed by thee in a woman whom thou wouldst enjoy as thy Wife, is, so much Education and breeding as is necessary in a woman in relation to thy rank and condition; yet this I shall not urge as upon clear and absolute Necessity, but upon necessary conveniency: For as an absurd, clownish, and fordid behaviour ill becomes a man: so all unworthy, fliggish, hoydenly carriage as ill becomes a woman; And herein I appeal to all rational and intelligible persons of both Sexes. The complete and comely behaviour of a woman, both at home and abroad, is an Ornament both to herself and Husband, and if thou be a wise man thou wilt be ashamed to see the contrary in thy wife; I shall content myself in the bare naming of this. I might urge at large the comely behaviour of Rebecca when she met with her Husband Isaac the first time, how she alighted from the Camel, and covered her face with a veil, Gen. 24 64, 65. which carriage of hers was very comely, and did demonstrate her education and breeding to be singularly good. Thus we have done with the second means to be used to gain a good wife, and a meet helper; You may be pleased to remember we told you the first means was to go to God by prayer, to beseech him to bestow a good wife, and a meet helper on you. The second was, that you must look on such things, or qualifications, as made a woman to be a good wife, and meet helper, and these qualifications are in number Eight. First, Grace; Secondly, Sweetness of Nature; Thirdly, Comeliness of person and favour; Fourthly, A fit Age; Fifthly, An honest descent; Sixthly, A Competent portion of outward things; Seventhly, Frugality and good Housewifery; And lastly, Good Education and Breeding: Through all which particulars, in the strength of our God, we have proceeded. Now by the same assistance we shall proceed to handle two means more, and then come to the duties Married persons own each to other, and to their Families.  
Thirdly, 
The third means to obtain a good wife.  if thou dost desire to have a good wife, and a meet helper; Thou must labour by honest and just means to obtain the consent of Parents on both sides, which if thou be wanting in, thy marriage will be rather cursed of God than blessed, and thou shalt have cause rather to mourn, than to rejoice in that condition; for thou must be convinced in this, that the very Essence of Marriage is the agreement of the parties, and the consent of Parents. Great is the Interest that Parents have in their Children, and the power that God hath invested them with over them; First, for their interest in them, as the Apostle saith in another case, You are not your own, but are bought with a price, 1 Cor. 6.19, 20. So may I say to Children, You are not your own, but you are bought with a price; Your Parents have bought you, (for though to speak most properly God be the giver of Children, as no man nor Angel can deny, for Children are the Inheritance of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward, Psal. 127 31. It was the Lord that opened Leahs womb, Gen. 29.31. And it was the Lord that did withhold from Rachel the fruit of her womb, Gen. 30.2.) yet in some sense Parents may be said to have bought their Children, for their Mothers buy them dear, they conceive them, bear them, and bring them into the world with great pain and grief, sometimes Children cost their Mothers their lives in Childbirth, or Childbed; Benjamin cost his precious Mother her life at such a time, Gen. 35.17.18. The Tree doth sometimes whither and die that the fruit may live: And when Children are borne they cost both Fathers and Mothers much pain, cost, grief, and fear in bringing them up. They have much trouble and watch early and late about them▪ Besides, what heart-breaking pains doth Parents take to leave some maintenance for their Children? Children than you see cost their Parents dear. There is no man can say that he hath so good an Interest in any thing he doth enjoy as Parents have in their Children, they are bone of their bone, and flesh of their flesh. Now then from this Interest Parents have in their Children, as appears evidently, we may conclude thus much, That it is an offence and a sin of an high nature for Children to bestow themselves in Marriage without, much more if against, the free consent of their Parents; First, humbly sought and obtained; Secondly, Great is the power which the Lord of all Creatures in Heaven and in Earth hath Invested (I say) Parents with over the bodies of their Children; (for we must know, that God is the Father of spirits in a more peculiar manner, and hath them wholly and solely at his own command,) and that in relation to the bestowing them in Marriage. Parents have power to bestow their Daughters in Marriage, and to take wives for their Sons, Deut. 7.3. which I gather from that place by the rule of contraries, but the Text is most properly an Inhibition of corrupt Marriages; but more full to this purpose is that place in Jer. 29.6. Where the Lord speaks thus, Take ye Wives and beget Sons and Daughters. And take you Wives for your Sons, and give your Daughters to Husbands; Which makes this point clear. That the Lord (I once more say) doth Invest Parents with a full power over their Children in relation to Marriage; (yet mistake me not, I dare not think, much less say, that Parents have a power to force their Children against their own wills to marry or be married as they please; I only intent, that though Children must have their own free consents to marry with such or such a person, that yet they may not, nor lawfully cannot without the consent of their Parents;) So that from this power God hath given Parents over their Children, we do again aver the truth of the former Conclusion, that is, That it is an Offence and sin of an high nature for Children to bestow themselves in marriage without (much more if against) the free consent of their Parents. But to lay this sin yet closer to the hearts of cursed and rebellious Children, let them know, and know it assuredly, that it is as clear a truth as is involved in God's Book (with reverence be it expressed) that for them to bestow themselves in Marriage thus without (much more, I say, against) the consent of their Parents, is a Capital breach of the fifth, seventh, and eighth Commandments of the Decalogue; First, they transgress against the fifth Commandment, for therein God commands them to honour their Father and Mother; And by this their bestowing themselves in Marriage against their consents they cast the greatest dishonour upon them that can be thought, for by this act of theirs they seem to dispute (nay, they do dispute) their Parent's Interest over them: nay, further, the validity of the free Donation of Jehovah himself, who hath, as you have heard, given Children to be under their command, even in this particular to which we speak; and these Miscreants, these Rakehell's, say with those in Psal. 2.3. Let us break their bonds asunder, and cast away their cords from us. Secondly, these undutiful Children do violate the seventh Commandment, wherein God saith, Thou shalt not commit Adultery; Now this is a most undeniable truth, that those who presume to step into the Marriage condition, in a way point blank to that which God hath ordained, never lawfully enter into such a condition; but such as having Parents living do Marry against their consent, do step into that condition, point blank to that way which God hath ordained: Therefore such as so marry never lawfully enter into that condition; and if two be not lawfully Married, they be not man and wife, than what they are you may easily determine: You may say they are a couple of unclean persons, or a Whoremonger and a Whore, and so they will be till they labour to be humbled for their unclean societies, and for their disobedience against God and their Parents, and have gained God and their Parents to be reconciled to them, and till than I once more say, they live in the continual breach of the seventh Commandment. Lastly, They transgress against the eighth Commandment, for therein God saith, Thou shalt not steal; Now such as marry against the consent of Parents are the greatest thiefs in the world. You may remember that I told you that Children are dearer to their Parents than all that besides they enjoy, and that they have bought them very dear: Now if thiefs break the eighth Commandment, then surely these that thus marry against their Parent's consent, being thiefs, do break that Commandment. How fearful then is the condition of such persons as they? The Apostle James saith, that he which keeps the whole Law and fails but in one point is guilty of all, Jam. 2.10. How much more guilty must such be who fail in three points, as those hotspurs do who make more haste than good speed? Samson had better learned, and did better practice, He tells his Father and Mother that he had seen a woman in Timnah that pleased him well, Judg. 14.2. then in ver. 3. he pleads for their consent; Now until he had gotten the consent of his Parents he would not marry, then in ver. 10. his Father and Mother went down with him to Timnah to his Marriage; Mind well the carriage of Abraham's Servant, which was made use of before on another occasion, Gen. 24.33. and so forward. Therefore when thou dost desire to marry, and hast spied out a person whom thou canst love, than first acquaint thy own Parents with it, seek their counsel and consent, which when thou hast obtained, break the matter to the Maid's friends, but step not one foot further till Parents are satisfied on both sides, and then do as God and friends shall direct. I shall wade no further in this third means, but come to the last.  
Yet, before we proceed thereto, here falls in a case of Conscience, arising from the last particular, namely, whether a man may under no consideration bestow himself in Marriage against the consent of parents? This is necessary to be spoken to in this place for some poor soul may object, and say,  
I apprehend in myself a clear Call to change my single condition, and to enjoy the Marriage estate, for I find myself in some poor measure fit for it; God having graciously bestowed on me those gifts before spoken of in some degrees; and this I am sure of, I am unfit for the single life, having not the gift of Chastity, but upon all occasions burn with fleshly concupiscence, to God's dishonour, and to the wasting of all my spiritual comforts. I have used those means you mention to obtain a good wife, and by God's gracious providence I have found out a maid largely qualified to make a good wife; and now the obstacle is, my Parents like it not that I should enjoy her as my wife, and that because she hath too much of the fear of God in her, as they think, and not outward portion so much as they would have me enjoy with a wife; and truly, I have long waited for their consents, and used the best means I can to enjoy the same, but do even despair of ever gaining of it; now Sir, I beseech you, give me a word or two of counsel and direction what I shall do in this case.  
I answer, Dear heart, I condole thy condition, and cannot but sympathise with thee; I see thou art in a conflicting estate with the devil, with thy corruptions, and with thy unnatural and degenerate Parents; yet there is some Balm in Gilead for thee, only first take by the way a word or two of advice; It appears thou art qualified for, and called to the Marriage estate, and hast a fit opportunity to change thy life, only the obstruction sticks here, thy Parents will not consent, and that upon the grounds thou hast spoken of; Then (I say) in the fear of the Lord set apart a day, two, or three, to seek God by Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer, there bewail thy own sins in general, that they may have had an Influence on the hearts of thy Parents to bind them up and harden them against thee; But if thou dost know any particular sin that thou hast perpetrated, and that God may maintain a controversy against thee for it this way, be sure Anatomize that before the Lord (on that day of thy humiliation) rip it up, let all the cursed lineaments of it appear, labour to affect thy Heart with the consideration of all the sad circumstances and aggravations of the same, and rend the Caule of thy heart before the Lord by unfeigned humiliation, and implore his Mercy for pardon and reconciliation. Then in a second place seek to God to humble thee likewise for thy Parent's sin. Thirdly, seek God to humble thy Parents for their Iniquities, and to pardon their sin. Lastly, seek God to be gracious to thee in wheeling their hearts toward thee. Now when thou hast this done, and yet hast not prevailed, beg the prayers of such as have an interest in God, both for thyself, and for thy Parents; which done, if no cloud yet appear for thy comfort so big as a man's hand, then desire some godly Ministers, and other worthy Christians to grapple with thy Parents by persuasive Arguments tending to the melting their frozen hearts, and for the turning them toward thee. Now if none of these means can prevail, then wait a convenient time, expecting some comfort for thee; but if none come, and that thy necessities remain still for the enjoyment of the Marriage estate, 
Acts 5.29.  then know thou art bound to obey God rather than man: God commands thee to marry, though thy Parents forbidden thee. In such a case, I am confident, that thou shalt not sin by marrying against the unreasonable desires of thy Parents; Mind that of the Apostle, Eph. 6.1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, for that is right. Parents must not be obeyed but in the Lord. God is the Father of souls and spirits, now the spirit is the better part of a man, we must obey our spiritual Father rather than our Earthly. When the Apostle had spoke of subjection to our Earthly Fathers, Heb. 13.9. he adds, Shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live. To draw to a conclusion, Obey thy heavenly Fathers call in this particular, and with all humility and thankfulness enter into the Marriage condition; yet one thing let me add, thou must labour to carry thyself with much care in the humble observance of thy Parents in all lawful things, and to counsel thy wife to do the same, and then thou know'st not but that the Lord may give thee in their hearts, to thine, and thy Yoak-fellowes great comfort even after Marriage. But to shut up all, let not any thing here discussed be understood as to weaken the power of Parents over their Children, in relation to their Marriage, for that power is of God, and it is inviolable, but in this singular condition, which blessed be the Lord doth not often fall out, though too often.  

The fourth means to obtain a good wife.  In the fourth and last place, If thou dost desire to have a good Wife, and a meet helper: Then thou must be very careful to seek by honest means and (by no other) to obtain the love of the woman whom thou dost affect with Conjugal love, and whom thou dost desire may be thy yoke fellow to live and die with. Now for thy orderly and Christian proceeding with her, I shall endeavour very briefly to give thee a few directions. When thou shalt come first to speech with her (thou having first gained the consent of Parents on both sides,) then let her understand with as much brevity as thou canst (in regard of her bashfulness and modesty) the truth of thy love and hearty affection to her; desiring her to take it into her consideration, and to consult with God, and her Parents about it; and then to do as God shall persuade her heart, and Parents advise her. Thou mayest also then (or at the next meeting) declare unto her the dispositions of thy Nature, also what Estate thou hast to live on, and what Calling thou art of, (if she be a stranger thereto:) But be sure thou tell her the truth, and nothing but the truth, dealing faithfully with her in these, and in whatsoever else is necessary for her to know: After which give her a seasonable time to consider of all. Now when thou hast thus done let thy affections sleep, (but thy judgement be kept waking.) leave all to God, commit this thy way to him, trust also in the Lord, and if it be for his glory and thy good he will bring it to pass, Psal. 37.5. In the mean time sit down quietly, and rest patiently, not distracting thyself for the event of any thing. Now if after all this thou receive an Answer to this effect, That she can love thy Person, like thy Nature, accept of thy Estate, and approve of thy Calling, and that she is very well content to live and die with thee: Then in the Name and fear of God thou mayest proceed to a Contraction, and in seasonable time to consummate the Marriage, and thou mayest expect (through the blessing of God a great deal of Comfort, and be sure to find it when thy proceed have been so upright. But suppose that when she returns an Answer to thee, that it be an answer of repulse, That she cannot love thee, nor approve of any thing (in relation to thee) so well as to bestow herself on thee, and doth entreat thee to be well satisfied, and to take it for an Answer, I say, suppose it to be thus: Then thou must labour to search into thy heart and life to find out the cause of it; for God hath some hand in it to humble thee for some sin; happily thou hast hid some cursed thing in thy heart, as Achan did the wedge of gold and Babylonish Garment in the Earth in the midst of his Tent, for which sin of his all Israel were beaten back by the Citizens of A●, Josh. 7 5. And we know God would not go forth with Israel to bless them, and to give them victory over their Adversaries until this sin was purged out; But if this be thy case, that (as I said) there is some secret sin lying hid in thy heart, do not delude thyself, thou must set thyself to the work of humiliation and reformation before thou canst expect a gracious speeding in thy suit; but when that is done, rouse up thy spirit, be not discouraged, but set on afresh with vigour again and again, and if it be for God's glory and the mutual good of you both, thou shalt certainly speed, (and further thou oughtest not to desire it.) But I desire to add one thing yet further, (and that by way of Advice,) Be very circumspect that before Marriage thou be not prodigal in thy engagements, be sure thou promise her no more Maintenance than thou art well assured thy means will make good, o● that may beseem her in that condition, as being thy wife. Again, take care in a special manner that thou promise her no more than thy honest purpose is to make good, and perform to the full: For otherwise when things come to pass contrary to thy promises, it will be a cause of much variance, and of great breaches between you, which like a fretting gangrene will eat out the very vitals of love; for upon thy non-performance, or unability to make good all thou hast unadvisedly and wickedly promised, she will both twit thee, and exclaim against thee for cheating and deluding of her with fair and golden promises, which since are vanished into mere vapours; it is more safe and creditable for thee rather to promise nothing to her that way, (but yet to do what with reason may be fitting.) One thing more, and no more of this, Conceal not beforehand any deficiency in Nature that may disable thee to perform any Conjugal duties whatsoever. Thus much may suffice to inform thee in all the means thou art to use to obtain a good wife and a meet helper.  
We are in then n●xt place (with the Lords leave and assistance) to come to take a view of the duties which Married persons are obliged to perform, wherein we shall consider the duties the Husband doth owe unto his Wife; and the rather shall we do this in the first place to draw on the Wife to a cheerful performance of hers likewise to her Husband.  
The first duty the Husband doth owe unto his Wife, is, Conjugal Affections: 
The first duty of the Husband to his Wife.  (Or Matrimonial and special love.) The greatest part of a woman's outward comfort in Marriage stands in the entire love and hearty Affections of her Husband toward her, and if she miss of this from her Husband, she may fear his falling short in all the rest, for the love of a Husband to his Wife is as the foundation stone of all his other duties; it is as the chief wheel in the Clock which gives a dexterous motion to all the other wheels; thy cordial love to thy Wife will sweeten her condition in this life in her worst outward crosses, in want of health, wealth, the society of good Neighbours, pleasures, and what not; nay, let her life be filled with the Affluence and Confluence of all the comforts under the Sun; yet the bare want of the apprehension of her Husband's Affections toward her will make her dip all her Morsels in vinegar and gall, and make her complain that she doth not see one good day. Now that it is the duty of the Husband to love his Wife, appears, Eph. 5.25. Husbands (saith the Apostle) love your Wives as Christ loved his Church, that is, for kind, not for measure; for the measure of the love of Christ to his Church no dimensions can demonstrate; for to know the love of Christ, the Apostle saith, it passeth knowledge, Eph. 2.19. and in Col. 3.19. the Apostle bids Husbands to love their wives, and not be bitter unto them. The woman was made of a Rib taken out of the side of man, and therefore Adam saith, she was bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, Gen. 2.23. Nay, by God's Ordinance they are no more twain but one flesh; and from hence Paul taketh an Argument to persuade the Husband to love his Wife, because no man yet did ever hate his own flesh, Eph. 5.28, 29. You may remember that upon another occasion we did observe that Jacob esteemed Rachel his Wife as his right hand, he called his Son's name, of whom she died, Benjamin, (or the Son of his right hand,) Gen. 35.18. God calls the wife of Ezekiel the desire of his eyes, Son of man I take from thee the desire of thine eyes with a stroke, Ezek. 24.16, 18. The Prophet Nathan tells David in a Parable, that Bathsheba the wife of Uriah lay in his bosom, that is, in the bosom of her Husband's Affections, 2 Sam. 12.3. You plainly see then that it is the duty of the Husband to love his Wife. Now that there are Scripture Incitations for it, and Scripture Precedents for it too, you must know you sin against God if you perform it not; and if you do it not, then as you have heard, you bring affliction and grief on your Wife, so likewise you bring much prejudice on your own self, for you discourage her from drawing in the same Yoke with you; you disable her to be a meet helper; you make her to be uncheerfull in all the duties of her general and particular calling; and which is worse, you expose yourself to the strength of many noisome lusts, as elsewhere hath been mentioned; be thou so convinced that it is a special duty that the Husband doth owe to his Wife, even to love her with Conjugal and entire love, as that thou set thyself to the practice of it, wherein stands thy own and her comfort.  
The second Duty which the Husband doth owe unto his wife, is, Cohabitation, 
The secon● duty of the Husband to his Wife.  (or to live together in one Family, mutually to enjoy intimate society both in bed and at board,) for where this is not, there no duty which a Husband doth owe unto his Wife can be performed. Nay, the very ends of Marriage are hereby null and frustrate. The Apostle Peter lays a command on Husbands to dwell with their Wives, Ye Husbands dwell with your Wives, etc. 1 Pet. 3.7. Can a man have any true comfort in his Wife, or she in him, if they do not dwell together? Truly, it is not only against Grace, but against Nature too, for them to do otherwise, for the Husband is the head of his Wife, and of his Family: When he then shall deny this Cohabitation there is a headless body behind, and what is that short (in some sense) of a Monster? It had been infinitely better (as we may say) that they had never been man and wife, than being such not to live together; This truth being so generally acknowledged, (and rarely, if at all denied) we shall use much brevity in handling of it: but by the way, notoriously abominable are such persons as falter in the performance of this duty: Whether it be Husband or Wife.  

The third duty of the Husband to the Wife.  In the third place the Husband's duty to his Wife, is, to labour to edify and build her up more and more in the saving knowledge of God, and in the ways of his Grace, and to seek especially the happiness of her soul, to help her forward to glorify God here, that she may be everlastingly glorified in Heaven hereafter; hence it is that the Apostle in the place quoted before in 1 Pet. 3.7. requires the Husband to dwell with his wife as a man of knowledge. If the Wife will learn (saith Paul) let her ask her Husband at home, 1 Cor. 14.35. which implies two things, First, that the Husband ought himself to labour for Illumination and abundance of the knowledge of God: Then secondly, that it is his duty to inform, and to instruct his wife. As the head of a Natural body carries the Eyes, so it sees not only for itself, but for all the members of the body; so it should be in this case. The Husband is the Candlestick, and Divine knowledge in him is the Light; Now our Saviour saith, 
Luk. 8.16.  No man lighteth a Candle and covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed, but setteth it on a Candlestick, that they that come in may see the light. The knowledge that is in the Husband should be communicative to all in the Family in general, and to his Wife in particular. Now the Husband must labour to edify and build up his Wife, and to further her in the way of holiness by his performance of these particular duties, (viz.) By Dehortations, Exhortations, Reprehensions, (and as occasion is) by labouring to give her Consolations: So also by praying for her, and with her; by reading the Word of God to her, and by holy Conference as frequently as may be: For by praying for her he may find the Lord graciously entreated to confer and bestow Grace into her heart, and to give her a daily increase thereof. Secondly, By praying with her he may be a means to put life and quickening into her spirit in all duties. Thirdly, By reading the Word of God to her he may instruct her. Fourthly, By using holy Conference with her he may stir up in her ardent desires, and Heavenly Affections in minding things of a more sublime Nature than any thing in this transitory life: And if she be ignorant of the ways of God, and the duties she doth owe unto God and man, it must be the care of her Husband to inform her, to teach and instruct her in those things: But if she know them, than he must labour to rub them afresh upon her Memory, as the Apostle Peter did on them to whom he wrote, 2 Pet. 1.12. that she may set herself the more seriously to the practice of them. Beloved, a man is no way able to show his love more unto his Wife than by labouring that she may be everlastingly happy as well as himself: And happy is that woman who doth enjoy such a Husband as is very tender of her soul's health; and who doth labour to further her in the discharging of all her duties in her general and particular Calling, even in doing the Will of God, and insuffering his pleasure. We might have been larger in this particular, and doubtless should, but that in the next head we shall have occasion to mention some of the forementioned directions again, as very proper to the next duty of the Husband to the Wife, and so desist here.  

The fourth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  In the fourth place, the duty of the Husband to the Wife, is, to labour to reclaim her from any sin, and sinful course she doth live in; for sin is of a deceitful nature, and will deceive the souls of the choicest Christians in the world if not rooted out betimes before the heart be hardened therein: And therefore the Holy Ghost bids us exhort one another to day to prevent the same, Heb. 3.13. Therefore if a man see his wife nourish any sin in her heart or life, he had need to bestir himself to make opposition against it; 
* Note.  for mind it well, if sin be not mortified early, we may fear that in time it will mortify Grace: They cannot be both fruitful in one poor heart; and if Grace die, an exceeding sad Funeral will follow. But if it be demanded what be the means the Husband must use to reclaim his Wife from any sin? I answer,— First, Earnest Prayer and Supplication to God in her behalf this way. When the Church had gone astray from God, and had run themselves into many miseries, the Prophet Jeremy seeks unto God in their behalf, thus, Turn thou unto us O Lord, and we shall be turned, renew our days as of old, Lam. 5.21. 
Gen. 25.21.  As God heard Isaac praying for his Wife for a fruitful womb, that she might conceive and bear; so how knowest thou but that thou mayest by Prayer prevail with God in thy Wife's behalf, that she may conceive the seed of saving Grace in her heart, and bring forth the fruit of it in her life, even the Mortification of that sin or sins that are most predominant in her? and with much comfort mayest thou expect such a blessing on thy Prayers if they be fervent, jam. 5.16. God hath the hearts of all men and women in his hands, and can turn them at his own pleasure; he can make a proud heart humble, a hard heart soft, an Earthly heart Heavenly, a crooked heart strait; he can help the perverseness of the Will, and the disorder of the Affections; God hath a Plaster for every sore, and a proper remedy for every disease; God can help the blindness of the Mind, the Error of the Judgement, the irregularity of the whole man Then (I say) go unto God in the first place, and importune him for mercy for, and for cure of, thy Wife's soule-sicknesse and distempers. In the second place thou must kindly (and with all possible sweetness) admonish her of the danger of sin, and of the fearful fruits and sad effects of it; as that thereby she dishonoureth a good God, she woundeth her own Conscience, she bringeth discredit to the Gospel, she provokes the Lord's indignation and wrath against her, to her confusion, if she persevere in sin; labour to persuade her that sin hath a long tail of judgements at the heels of it, Externall, Internal, and Eternal, Inchoated on Earth, Consummated in Hell. But if by these loving Admonitions thou canst not prevail, thou must then proceed to sharp ● proofs and rebukes; Thou shalt not hate (saith God) thy Brother in thy heart, thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy Neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him Leu. 19.17. Now if a man should be tender of the salvation of a Brother, and of a Neighbour, then much more of the salvation of a Wife, who hath a kind of oneness with thyself. Rachel was jacob's best beloved Wife, yet when in a discontented humour she comes to him, and saith, give me Children or else I die, thereby derogating from God, and arrogating to her Husband, (which sin of her we read not that ever before she did commits) Yet the Text notes, that when Jacob heard i● his Anger was kindled, and he saith unto her, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb? Gen. 30.1, 2. The wife of Job bids him curse God and die (which was her fearful sin;) her husband replies with a word of sharp reproof, and tells her, that she spoke like a foolish woman, Job 2.10. When the Tumour is swollen to such a bigness it is full time to launce it, and apply Corrasives to it to eat out the Corruption, else it may gangrene to the destruction of the body: But herein use thy best wisdom to choose the fittest time and place to seek to fasten a reproof on her. Now a seasonable and fit time thus to deal with her, is, when she is out of her passions, and free from perturbation of spirit, for if she be in the heat of anger, and the boiling of her Choler, she is very unfit to be dealt with in this way. 
1 Sam. 25.36, 37.  Nabal when drunk with wine was full as capable of a word of reproof from his discreet wife, for his churlish and absurd carriage to David, as a woman (or man) can be, when drunk with outrageous Anger and Passion, from the wisest and most judicious ●●iend they have in the world; for indeed, thou taking an unseasonable time to reprove thy wife, thou dost not only lose thy labour of winning her, but thou mayest fear she will be the more incorrigible thereby. But if thou take a fit time to deal with her in this kind, thou mayest hope (through the Lord's blessing) to see some good effect of thy pains, and of the discharge of thy duty. Secondly, thou must make choice of a convenient place to perform this duty of reproof; which place is a secret and private Room, free from the hearing of any others; for if thou rip up her faults in the hearing of others, that will be a means the more to enrage her, and to make her the more obstinate in her evil way, and the more refractory against all means of good unto her: But if she perceive thou dost tender her credit and reputation, thou mayest find her more flexible & docible than perhaps thou art a ware of. But if thou dost yet lose thy labour, then in the third place, make trial of a more public way of reproof, to see if she will be ashamed of her vileness, and labour to reform. If this will not work upon her for amendment, then in the fourth place thou shalt do well to withdraw all appearance of love from her, al● Amiable deportments and gestures, and stil● carry thyself in an Austere way toward her, with knit brows, and a restriction of discourse with her so long as she remains obstinate Now if all these means be unavaileable, the● in the last place shorten her maintenance, keep her at bare Commons, let her have only fo● necessity, nothing for delight; let her know that so long as she remains an Enemy to Go● and to her own soul, that she shall not fin● thee a friend to her, unless it be to check curb and control her, on purpose to help he● out of the snare of the Devil; But if none nor all these means will do her good, to dra● her from sin to God, than her condition is fa● indeed, and doth deserve to be lamented with ●eares of blood, and thou hast cause to weep for her in secret, as Jeremy for the obstinate Jews, Jer. 13.17. Truly, thou hast cause to ●eare (and she much more) the Lord hath a purpose to destroy her, and so make her punishment like the punishment of Elies' Sons, who would not hearken to the reprehensions of their Father, 1 Sam. 2.25. And let such a woman sadly lay that thundering place in Prov. ●9. 1. to heart, (for she may tremble to read it;) The words are these, that is, He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy; and let her not be so absurd as to think that place concerns not her, because it is said [He] and no mention of the word [She,] for though the threatening be expressed in the Masculine gender, yet it shall be made good in the Feminine. But thou who hast conscientiously used all these means to reclaim thy poor yokefellow (though they have done her no good) yet thou hast delivered thy own soul, Ezek. 3.19. But if it please the Lord to bless thy endeavours, and to make thee an instrument to bring thy Wife to a saving sight of her sins, (of which godly sorrow is a fruit) then know, thou hast saved a soul from death, and hast covered a multitude of sins, James 5.20. And thy recocovered wife may even upon her bare knees, abundantly bless the Lord that ever she was so happy as to enjoy such a sweet and tenderhearted Companion in the Marriage Estate. We proceed to the following duty.  

The fifth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  It is the duty of the Husband to walk before his wife in all good conversation, to give her good examples of encouragement from his own holy course of life. It is undeniable, that it is the duty of all whom God hath set in Authority over others, that they should labour to teach those that are under them, both by precept, and by example: for the first will do no good (ordinarily) without the other. Look at me, saith Gideon, and do likewise, Judg. 7.17. Gideon as a Captain speaks to his Soldiers being under his Command and Authority, to follow his Example. Now the Lord hath invested the Husband with as much Authority over his wife as Gideon had over his Soldiers and more: Therefore he walking in good ways, may say to his wife, look on me and do likewise. Timothy having the charge of souls committed to him, the Apostle exhorts him to be an example to Believers in Word, it Conversation, in Charity, in Spirit, in Faith and in Purity, 
1 Pet. 5.3.  1 Tim. 4.12. The Apostle Peter likewise doth exhort the Elders to be examples to the Flock; (And it is not now to make out, that a Husband hath the charge of his Wife's soul committed to him, for that point is as clear as the Sun at Noon,) so must the Husband be to his Wife. Now this he should do the more carefully, that is, walk in a good conversation before his wife, because most men and women in the world are apt to be led by example, (good or bad,) more than by precept; The examples of Superiors are of ●n attractive nature to Inferiors, especially if the Inferior do love and reverence the Superior, as the wife doth if her heart be married ●o her Husbands; there is an intrinsical principle in her to carry out her desires and endeavours to tread in his steps; she will endeavour ●o imitate her Husband in his words and action's. The Wives of Jacob were brought up in idolatry: but they having better examples set ●hem by their Husbands of worshipping the ●ue God, they will be of his Religion; Their ●ather worshipped false Gods, Gen. 31.19, 30. But they will pray to the true God; it is said, God harkened unto Leah, Gen. 30.17. then doubtless she prayed, that must be implied; ●en in ver. 22. God harkened unto Rachel ●o, sure she had also prayed. Mahlon and ●hilion take them wives in Moab who were notorious Idolaters, but from their Husband's ●imples they had learned to serve the true ●od of Israel. Ruth especially was brought to constant love of the true God; for when her other in Law had put her upon the trial (and ●d persuaded her Sister to return bacl ●aine to her people, and to her gods,) yet ●e would by no means follow her Mother's counsel, nor her Sisters Apostatising exam●e, but strongly adheres to the true God of ●ael, and will forsake Country and dear na●rall friends besides, rather than departed from ●e God of her Husband; read the whole chapter of the first of Ruth. Thus we see that good examples from Husbands may gain upon the spirits of their wives some good Affections to goodness, and care to imitate the best Patterns. Now as good examples in Husbands may with God's blessing produce glorious and comfortable effects upon the hearts, and in the Conversations of good wives, so on the contrary, bad examples from Husbands before their wives may bring them to the height of all wickedness, and pertinaciousness in those their perishing ways (without the infinite mercy of God in Christ;) Of which take a precedent or two, in 1 King. 16.25. it is said, that Omri wrought evil in the eyes of the Lord, and did worse than all that were before him: And then in ver. 30. it is said that Ahab the Son of Omri did evil in the sight of the Lord above all that were before him: Where (by the way) we see the Son imitates the Father in his wicked ways. Now as Ahab was a worshipper of false Gods: so he was an enemy to the Prophets of the true God; for proof whereof mind the 9, 10. and 17. verses of the 18. Chap. of 1 King. Also Chap, 21.20. so again in Chap. 22.8. where he plainly saith, he hated Micaiah; but observe how his accursed wife Jezebel followeth his vile way of persecuting, Elijah she hates, and seeks his life, 1 Kings. 19.2. But if it be said, it is to no purpose this way to insert passages of wickedness relating to Omri and Ahab, they were not Husband and Wife, but Father and Son. I answer, it is true they were so, but that is taken notice of only to prove Ahab was a wicked man before he had Jezebel to wife who did stir him up to wickedness, 1 Kings 21.25. for she might be both a follower of his bad examples (as doubtless she was) and yet a provoker of him to abundance of notorious vileness. But take a precedent clear from all exception from Ananias and Saphira his wife; Ananias observing the forwardness of many true christians whom God had blest with some temporal Estates in the time of others great extremities by reason of poverty in times of persecution, that they were willing to sell all and communicate it to others (which held out the life of love to Christ;) Ananias, I say, observing this, he plays the close hypocrite, and bids as fair to maintain the name and form of a Christian as others did, but he detains a part of the money in a private way for to maintain him and his wife, yet pretends, and affirms the contrary: His wife Saphira follows his example of hypocrisy, joins with him in false affirmations, and so both perish together. Acts 5.1. to the end of ver. 10. Beloved, Thou that art a Husband (as chief in relation to God and thy own soul,) hast need to walk accurately with all circumspection in the whole course of thy life, to beware of any scandalous ways out of pity to thy poor yokefellow, that by thy example thou lead her not into the way of sin, and so to hell for ever (without the infinite and boundless mercy of God;) For if thou be careless herein, Dives in Hell will rise up in judgement against thee at the last day, for in that place of torment he had some charity (as we may say) to his poor Brethren; (I know it is but a Parable, but yet there is much in Parables,) and thou hast none on Earth to the soul of thy poor wife; yet this I must grant, that in Hell there can be no charity, (for that is a grace, and so cannot be there;) but to speak properly it was a fruit of self-love, he knew he had led his Brethren by his example into the way of sin, and that leads to Hell, and that if they should come there it would aggravate his horror and guilt: And truly, if thou shouldst shun giving evil examples to thy wife on that ground, that is, out of self-love, it were better to do it so than not at all; for we see it by daily experience, that such as the Husband is, the Wife is divers times the same; if he be zealous in good duties, and frequent therein; if he be full of selfe-deniall, and of patience under the Rod of God, resigning himself to be at his dispose; if he be of an humble spirit, full of Temperance, Sobriety, Love, and of a pitiful and tender heart to those that are in misery, and ready to every good work, and labouring to hold forth the power of godliness in Mortification, and Vivification, in dying to sin, and living to righteousness; If he labour to live by faith against sense; If he labour to worship God publicly, privately, and secretly, I say, if the Husband have these graces, these qualifications, and Divine Operations: O how will a gracious wife heave and strive, pant after, and gasp for spiritual vigour in the strength of God to imitate the same in her sweet, precious, heavenly and Angelical Husband. Ah (Dear heart) let me beg of thee, and beseech thee with all the obsecrations in the world, that thou wouldst give thy wife no worse examples than those; for hereby thou shalt glorify God. Edify and build up thy wife in grace, discharge a grand Matrimonial duty, and gain demonstrations of thy present gracious condition here, and of thy future tranquillity, glory and bliss at the right hand of thy dearest Saviour in Heaven to all Eternity hereafter.  
In the sixth place, 
The sixth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  it is the duty of the Husband to his wife, to bear with her infirmities; We that are strong ought (saith the Apostle) to bear the infirmities of the weak, Rom. 15.1. And Peter in 1 Pet. 3.7. saith, the woman is the weaker vessel, Ergo, A man ought to bear with the Infirmities of his wife. But the question is, what faults may be said to be Infirmities to be borne with in any in general, and in the woman in particular? I answer, these and such like, as forgetfulness of some material business, some unusual neglect of duty to the Husband, Children, or Servants; some wasting and spoiling of the Creature contrary to Custom formerly, or purpose then; or some (not ordinary)breakings forth into extravagant, and exorbitant passions, heat and Choler, of the last kind we shall find two very sad precedents from two gracious women, and of two patterns of admirable patience in their Husbands: The first is the extreme (but groundless) passion of Sarah (formerly Sarai) raised against her Husband Abraham, 
Gen. 16 2, 3.4, 5, 6.  (we shall abbreviate the Divine History,) Sarai was barren and Aged, she despairs of being natural mother to any Children, who did therefore desire to be the reputed mother of Children, she makes a motion (such a one as it was) unto her Husband to go in to her Maid Hagar; Abraham hearkens to her voice and doth it; Hagar conceives, then is elevated in herself, and casts off due honour from her Mistress, which she discerning is presently full of passion, and vents it very uncivilly into the bosom of her Husband, and speaks thus that is, My wrong be upon thee, I gave thee my maid into thy bosom, and when she saw that she had conceived I was despised in her eyes; th● Lord judge between me and thee; Well Sara● what's the matter? Here is a great complaint out who hath done thee the wrong? What Abram? No, he poor man is innocent in comparison of thyself; what a false charge i● here drawn up against Abram? What clamour upon it? What appeals to God about it? But how doth Abram demean himself in the condition? Truly singularly well, he beats wi● this infirmity in his wife; he knew this w● not the frame and temper of her spirit, an● therefore answers very mildly, and saith to be behold thy Maid is in thy hand, do to her at pleaseth thee. The second sad precedent, as beforesaid, is that of the carraige of Zipporah to her husband Moses, Ex. 4.19, 20, 21, 25, 26 Moses being commanded by God to leave the land of Midian, and to return into Egypt, about the delivering of the Children of Israel out of bondage, he takes his Wife, and Sons, and the Rod of God in his hand, and gins his journey but be having neglected the observation of a special Ordinance of God, viz. the circumcising of his Son, God (saith the Text) met him in the Inn and sought to kill him; (where note by the way, that it is a dangerous thing for a man to take a journey, though upon as lawful an occasion as can be, with the neglect of a duty, or the guilt of any sin lying on the conscience unrepented of.) Moses you see is in great danger of death, and his wife knowing the cause of it, takes a sharp stone and cuts off the foreskin of her Son and throws it at his feet (with these words) surely a bloody husband art thou unto me; which was a very Contemptible, Contumelious, uncivil, and unmannerly behaviour in her, yet he is silent, bears with her infirmities; and no doubt but he did consider there lay a sad temptation on her spirit, and withal was conscientious of his own sin against God, and so sweetly passeth by his wife's weakness. Now these infirmities which a Husband out of duty to his wife must bear with must not be public, nor giving scandal and offence to others; Nay, whatever they are he must take a fit opportunity to give her a sweet reproof; for such a Husband as is in a passion for his wife's infirmities will make such a smoke in his house as shall disturb all in, or near it; The discretion of a man deferreth his anger, and it is his glory to pass by a transgression, Prov. 19.11.  

The seventh duty of the Husband to his Wife.  The seventh duty the Husband doth owe unto his Wife, is, due maintenance in all things, both inward and outward, for her comfortable bodily subsistence here, both in life, and livelihood, for supportation of health whilst it is enjoyed, and for restoration of it when decayed. And this to be performed with as much dearness of affections, and tenderness of heart as to himself; which duty the Apostle clearly requires husbands to perform to their wives, Eph 5.28, 29. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies, be that loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh: but cherisheth, and nourisheth it, even as Christ doth his Church. Now we know all men will nourish their own bodies with such meat, and drink, and Physic, with such Preservatives, and Restoratives of health as is necessary. And they will cherish their own body with such Apparel as may not only keep them warm in their bodies, but be some delight unto their minds. The same for kind, and measure, for quality and quantity they must allow unto their wives, (if it be of necessity or necessary for them, which I dare presume it is almost always.) Yet this must be granted, that a man must not maintain himself in any thing, either for food or raiment, above his ability, or unbecoming his place and Calling: Neither must he allow it his wife; and doubtless no discreet wife will desire the same. Beloved you have heard at large that it is the duty of the Husband to his Wife to tender the good of her soul, and can any man think that the good of her body is to be neglected? Truly, it were absurd for any to conceit any such thing. God would not have the mouth of the Ox to be muzzled when he treadeth out the Corn, 
Deut. 25.4.  and will he have the mouth of her muzzled that doth draw with thee in the same yoke? Surely no, The Apostle saith, that he is worse than an Infidel that doth not provide for his own Family, 1 Tim. 5.8. Now if the whole Family must be provided for, as none dare deny, then much more she who in thy absence is the head of the Family, and in thy own presence thy right-hand Mate. What encouragement can thy wife have to seek thy good when thou shalt in whole, or in part neglect hers. Besides, when thou shalt (especially with cheerfulness) allow thy wife all due and necessary maintenance for her comfort and encouragement in this life, if she have any ingenuity of nature in her she will soon give the fruit of the same into thy bosom by a more vigorous and dexterous putting forth her utmost abilities to serve, help, and comfort thee in all thy various conditions; but it herein thou who art her Husband art niggardly, penurious, and base hearted and handed towards thy wife, thou mayest perhaps (though it be her sin) have such poor returns, that thou shalt not crack of thy gains and incombs; But be thou persuaded that maintenance is the wives due, and be thou careful to discharge that debt.  

The eighth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  The eighth duty which the Husband doth owe unto his wife, is, to labour to be an Instrument (under God) to protect her from all injuries, wrongs, insolences, and contumelious abuses, that any of the Sons or Daughters of Belial shall put upon her, to the utmost of his power. In Eph. 5.23. the Apostle tells us that the Husband is the head of his wife, even as Christ is the head of his Church; and he is the Saviour of his body: where take notice, that first this duty of a Husbands protecting his wife is employed. Secondly, a precedent propounded to incite us to the performance of it. First, this duty is employed, the husband is denominated to be the head of his wife: Now the head doth labour to foresee, first, the danger the body is in. Secondly, to contrive means to prevent it. And thirdly, to project and contrive some means afterward for the removing of the evil if it fall. And thus must a Husband labour to do in relation to his wife; He must labour to foresee what wrongs may fall upon his wife beforehand, lest they come unawares. Secondly, he must wisely prevent them if he can, which if he cannot, then in the third place he must labour to remove them, and so to ease his wife from the burden of them. Secondly, here is a precedent propounded to incite the Husband to labour to protect his wife, and that from the example of Christ himself, Christ is the Saviour of his body (the Church) which is his spouse: so must the husband labour to defend and protect his wife, his spouse, his body; yet further are we to labour this to do even from the practice of very Heathens. The wife of Potiphar tells a seeming fair tale (but it was a most Diabolical lie) to her husband, that Joseph had done her wrong, and had mocked her, which complaint of hers was believed by her husband. Now though Joseph was choicely beloved of his Master before, yet now his wrath is kindled against him, and Joseph must to prison for the pretended injury, Gen. 39.17, 19, 20. Hester had put up a complaint to Ahasuerus her husband, (and a just complaint too,) That she and her people were sold to be destroyed, to be slain, and to perish. The King her husband demands who he was? and where he was that durst presume in his heart to do this? Hester returns answer, that the Adversary that had done this was that wicked Haman; upon which the King's wrath was so enkindled against him, (though he were his chief favourite,) that he could not be pacified until such time as Haman was hanged, Hest. 7.4, 5, 6, 10.  
In the ninth place it is the duty of the husband to his wife, in a prudential way, 
The ninth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  with all sweetness and love, to labour to prevent her from an idle and unprofitable expense of time. A husband in the general should labour to make his wife a complete Christian. Now he or she that are not fit for Christian society are no complete Christians: But the Apostle commands the Thessalonians to withdraw themselves from every brother that did walk disorderly, 2 Thes. 3.6. Now if you would know what that sin was which is called a disorderly walking, if you please to confer with the 10. and 11. verses, you will find it was the sin of not working, the sin of Idleness. Now in this point I would not be mistaken, I would have none conceive that I should think that it were fit for a husband to be a Taskmaster to his wife, to set her a stint of work, and to exact it of her, (which was the sin of the cruel Egyptians against the Hebrews, (who were Gods own people,) Exod. 5.6, 7, 8.) But if it be demanded, what employment is most proper for the wife to look after? I answer, with the mother of Solomon (in the first place,) Prov. 21.27. she must look well to the ways of her Household, Secondly, I answer with the Apostle, 1 Tim. 5.14. she must guide the house; it is an excellent and well beseeming carriage in a wife to look out sharp (as we may say,) to prevent servants Idleness, and wastefulness, for there was never worse servants in an Age than now; they must have great wages, but do little work for it; they will not gather up the broken fragments that nothing be lost, Joh. 6.12. Nay, they will purloin, (Tit. 2.10.) not showing all good fidelity, for they will filch, p●fer, and steal, waste, and consume the estates of their Masters, which might well be prevented by the industry of a careful wife, whereby her husband's estate might be preserved, and livelihood maintained for him, herself, and their children; for want of which care many a Family hath been brought to ruin, and Children to a morsel of bread. And as it is an excellent and well-beseeming carriage in a wife thus to oversee the ways of her Family, so it is a very choice piece of service in her in the acceptation of her husband. Again, in answer to the former demand, (that is,) What is the proper employment of a wife to look after? In the third place, it is not out of a woman's Calling to spend seasonable time in intimate society with her husband to quicken and enlive the affections of each other, one to another. But for that sin of a woman's in mispending her time in an idle and letty way, the husband (as beforesaid) should take care to prevent; for idleness is (as we say) the mother of all mischief; And I well like that speech of a grave Divine, that is, That the Devil hath a Commission to take up all idle persons, and to employ them in his service. This shall suffice for this ninth duty of the husband to his wife, and so we proceed to the tenth and last duty that the husband doth owe as beforesaid.  
In the last place it is the duty of the husband to the wife, 
The tenth duty of the Husband to his Wife.  to take care so to manage his estate whilst opportunity serves, that he may be able to leave some competent estate for her to maintain her when God shall take him away by death, (if God think fit she shall be the survivor.) we have already taken notice, that Parents must lay up for their Children, 2 Cor. 12.14. But a man's wife should be accounted of him much dearer than children, and that because they are one flesh, which Parents and Children are not. Therefore a man ought in his will to have more respect to his wife than to his children, except first the children be Infants, or every way unhelpfull to themselves; and that their mother be youthful and of an able body, and in a capacity to look out in a probable way to have a competent maintenance; and also in a second place, except the mother be of a very harsh and bitter spirit to her Children, and so like to be as a stepmother rather than a natural mother; but if there be no ground for these considerations, it is still the most Christian and prudent way for the husband to be more liberal to his wife than unto his children when he is to set his house in order, and to make his Will: And for this we have a Christian precedent from the practice of Elkanah. A very judicious Divine (whom the Christian world doth reverence for a very learned Expositor 
* Mr Cotton of Boston in New-England. ) saith, that it was the custom of the Jews before they took any large journey to make their Wills, and dispose of their estates, not knowing whether they should return again; upon which occasion Elkanah living far from Shiloh, and being to appear there before the Lord, he makes his Will, unto which he gave unto Peninnah his wife, and to his Sons and Daughters portions; But unto Hannah he gave a worthy portion, (because he loved her,) 1 Sam. 1.3, 4, 5. As a man that loves his wife would not only have her far well when he is at home, but when absent from home also: So if thou do love thy wife with a cordial love thou wouldst not only have her live well in this world whilst thou art her companion here, but also when thou art, through the Lords free Grace a Companion with Saints and Angels in Heaven at the right hand of God, and in the bosom of thy dearest Saviour. But if thou art not careful to provide for thy wife as well as thou canst whilst thou livest here, thou canst have but little hope that she should live well hereafter when thou art gone; which duty of thine if thou neglect, thou wilt leave a brand upon thy name to Posterity to judge by, that thy wife never lay in the bosom of thy affections; for if she had, thou wouldst have expressed more sincere love to her at your parting. Thus God hath carried us through the consideration of ten special duties which the husband doth owe unto his wife; which to help thy memory take the heads of them as they have been laid down in order, viz. First, Conjugal Affections. Secondly, Cohabitation. Thirdly, a Godly care to build her up in the knowledge of God. Fourthly, To seek to reclaim her from sin. Fifthly, To walk before her in good examples. Sixthly, To bear with her infirmities. Seventhly, To allow her due maintenance. Eighthly, To protect her. Ninthly, To be careful she improve her time so as not to live idly. Lastly, To take care to leave her some competent maintenance; we come now by the Lord's assistance to consider of some duties the wife doth owe unto the husband, which in the fear of God she must labour to perform and discharge.  

The first duty of the Wife to the Husband.  The first duty the wife doth owe unto the husband, is, also Conjugal Affections, or a singular, choice, and special love; you may remember we gave this duty of love the precedency (in a superlative way) of all other duties the husband doth owe to his wife; Love is the sap, bud, and blossom from whence all other Matrimonial duties do spring. And answerable to the degrees hereof (be they more or less) doth the other incline or decline in the heart of the wife to, or from, the husband. The wife ought to love her husband with a most entire and ardent love; yea, such a love as is only proper and peculiar unto him; He ought to be unto her the chief part of her outward joy and enjoyments; as one said of a choice dish of meat, that he could cut out of it all the variety of dainties that the best furnished board in the world was provided of; so may a woman say, that in her husband (under God) she hath all outward good things that any have the fruition of; which as it gives abundance of satisfaction to her own heart, so the reflection of it doth return back into the bosom of her husband to fill him with much solace and delight in her again. Elkanah saith to Hanna, 
1 Sam. 1.8.  Am I not better to thee than ten sons; thereby implying what an high esteems the wife should have of her Husband. Paul would have Titus teach young women to love their Husbands, Tit. 2.4. (And doubtless it is the duty of elder women to do the same, but young women are particularised, because of the levity of their minds, they being apt above others to close with vain pleasures, and so more likely to neglect their main duty to their Husbands.) In 1 Cor. 7.28. the Apostle speaks of such as are married, that they shall have no trouble in the flesh, that is, divers outward troubles and encumbrances in the mind; for in the Marriage Estate there is an intermixture of discomforts with comforts. There may be sometimes too many wild Gourds shred and put into that pottage, by reason whereof death may be there, as in 2 Kings 4.39, 40. but in the 41. verse the Prophet bids them bring meal and cast it into the pot, and so they did, and then it was wholesome; so thou that art a wife if thou do sometimes meet with losses and crosses, pains and troubles, cares and turmoils, whereby death (that is, sorrows and griefs) lay hold on thee to embitter that otherwise blessed condition unto thee; then bring meal (and that is love) and cast it into the bosom of thy Husband, and that will sweeten all; it will turn gall and wormwood into sugar and honey. As Christ is to his Spouse the chiefest of ten thousand, Cant. 5.10. so must thy Husband be unto thee, which if he be not, it may be much suspected that thou hast an Adulterous heart, at least, if thou be not also outwardly defiled too. Then in the next place.  

The second duty of the Wife to the Husband.  Cohabitation is also a duty the wife doth owe unto her Husband: it is not only the duty of the Husband to live with his wife, but hers to live with him. And among other ends she was created for this, that is, to be his Companion. God found it not good for man to be alone, Gen. 2.18. And indeed, how can she be a meet helper to him if she live apart from him. There may be many necessary occasions for a man to change the place of his habitation, sometimes to enjoy better means of Grace, sometimes to enjoy better means of health, sometimes to enjoy better means of livelihood, & sometimes to enjoy society of choice friends; there be none of these but may give a man a clear call sometimes to remove his habitation, & he must (if he be a Christian) obey God herein. Now take this for a most undeniable truth, that whatever passage of Divine providence will warrant the lawfulness of the Husband's change of place of dwelling, will also warrant the Wives call to travel with her Husband, and to live with him wheresoever he pitch his Tent. Mark the Apostles phrase, 1 Cor. 9.5. Have we not power to lead about a Sister, a Wife, as well as other Apostles, and as the Brethren of the Lord, and as Cephas; where you may note, that the Apostles, the Brethren of the Lord, and Cephas did lead about their wives (which they could not have done against their wills) and Paul doth challenge the same privilege as due to him as well as to the other. But to add a clear demonstration to this truth yet further by joining precedents to privileges, consider the practice of Sarah, when God calls Abraham to leave his country and go into that which he would show him, she goeth with him, Gen. 12.5. When God calls him the second time to remove, that is, to go into Egypt because of the Famine in the Land where he did live, you shall find his wife did go with him, ver, 10, 11. who did also return with him, Chap. 13.1. Again, when God calls Isaac to go to Gerar, to sojourn there for a time, (and that by reason of Famine too,) Rebekah (his wife) goes with him, Gen. 26.1, 7. But in a special manner mind the practice of Leah and Rachel, they are willing to leave their Father's house and kindred (not being enforced by Famine) to enjoy society with Jacob their husband, Gen. 31.4. to the end of ver. 18. As Ruth said to Naomi (her mother in Law,) Where thou goest I will go, and where thou lodgest I will lodge, and where thou diest I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me and more also if aught but death part thee and me, Ruth. 1.16, 17. So must every Christian wife say to her husband, where thou livest I will live, and where thou diest I will die, and there will I be buried, for nought but death shall part thee and me. By all which it doth (or may) appear that it is the duty of the wife to her husband to Cohabit with him in what place soever God shall call him; and if she perform not this duty, she disables herself to the observation of others; But in case, first, that the husband will live in a Popish Country, out of either a superstitious, or fantastical end or humour: The wife is not bound to follow him, for she must look more after the true worship of God, and the salvation of her own soul, than after any outward comfortable condition in the world. Or secondly, if the Husband be an unbeliever, and doth not like to live with a believing wife, than such a wife is at liberty (if I mistake not the Apostle) to live from him, 1 Cor. 7.13, 15. But lastly, in case the husband do violate the Covenant of Marriage by Adultery, Fornication, etc. Then if the wife please she may forsake him, which by necessary consequence may appear from the words of Christ, Mat. 5.32. Chap. 19 9 For if the husband may put his wife away for such breach of Marriage-Contract, why not the wife put away her husband on the like occasion. But if upon ordinary occasion the wife shall refuse the performance of this duty to her husband, she doth make void and null one special end of Marriage, and so sins against God the ordainer of that happy estate; also against her Husband, in depriving him of his due comfort; and lastly, against her soul and conscience, as contracting sin and guilt; and against her body, in a violent cutting the thread of her chiefest external felicity. So much for this particular duty from the wife to the husband.  
In the third place, 
The third duty of the Wife to the Husband.  the duty of the Wife to her Husband, is, to improve her spiritual abilities, to be helpful to him in the best things for the good of his soul, to stir him up to good duties when she takes notice of any remissness and carnal security in him; by sweet exhortations, and holy conference she must labour to quicken him against a spiritual Lethargy, which if it seize on him, will so becloud and benight his senses, that he shall have neither head nor heart, with any cheerfulness of spirit, to walk with his God; which if his wife discern him inclining to, (but in a special manner captivated under) she had need to bestir herself to salute him often with such Texts of Scripture as these, viz. Luk. 9.62. 1 Cor. 9 the later part of for 24. Phil. 3.13, 14. Rev. 2.4. and the beginning of ver. 5. Rev. 3.15, 16. Luk. 17.32. Ezek. 18.24, 26. She must labour to stir him up to love and good works, and therein follow the example of the Shunamite, 2 King 4 9, 10. (thou that art a Wife read the place, and follow the Precept.) She must labour to strengthen her Husband's faith when he shows most weakness. After Manoah had offered a sacrifice to God, the Angel of the Lord did wonderfully in the presence of him and his wife: The good Man's faith began to fail, We shall die, saith he, because we have seen God, (want of faith was like to kill the poor man:) Now his wife steps in very opportunely, and labours to strengthen his faith, If, saith she, the Lord would have killed us he would not have told us these things, nor accepted a Sacrifice at our hands. Judg. 13.20, 22, 23. so she makes good that place in Eccl. 4.9, 10. Two are better than one, for if one fall the other will lift up his fellow: but woe be to him that is alone, for he hath not another to help him up. Truly, there is a marvellous Sympathy between Husband and Wife in all conditions (I mean, when they live, and love together as man and wife) one will labour to support another. And one thing let me put thee on in a special manner, that is, be sure as thou dost desire to improve thy gifts and parts for the good of thy Husband's soul. That thou do never neglect to pray for him. As Aaron did bear the names of the Children of Israel before the Lord on his two shoulders for a memorial, Exod. 28.9, 12. So be thou sure to bear the remembrance of thy Husbands poor soul upon thy heart when thou art to appear before the Lord in thy Closet-worship, that thou mayest prevail with God for a blessing for him, that he may be heavenly and spiritual in all his deportments toward God, and toward man● that in the strength of God's grace he may be a selfe-denying, and a selfe-mortifying Christian. That he may be furnished with saving Faith, Temperance, Patience, Godliness, Repentance unto life, strength against corruptions; that he may abound in every good work; that he may be an Instrument of God's glory here, and a Vessel of Mercy hereafter: And in thy drawing forth and improving thy parts thus for thy Husband's spiritual advantages men and Angels shall witness for thee, that thou hast laboured to answer one end of Gods creating of thee, that is, to be a meet helper to thy Husband; nay, the spirit of God shall attest the same to thy own soul, to thy comfort here, and permanent happiness hereafter.  
Fourthly, The duty of a wife to her Husband, 
The fourth duty of the Wife to the Husband.  is, a comely and Christianlike subjection to him; she must not contend for equality with him, much less superiority over him, but must content herself in the same station or condition wherein the God of wisdom (or that God who is wisdom itself) hath set her. Now that this is a duty, take Scripture evidence for it, (for I know it will not down, but sticks in the throat with too too many, but to a mortified Christian a Command from God is enough to sweeten that which to flesh and blood is as bitter as gall,) Col. 3.8. The Apostle saith, Wives submit yourselves unto your own Husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. So Eph. 5.22. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord; where mark the diversity of terms. In the former place it is, Wives submit, etc. as it is fit in the Lord: But in this latter, Wives submit, etc. as unto the Lord; For some women may say, we are willing to submit ourselves to our own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord; But what submission may be said to be fit in the Lord? I answer, That submission is fit in the Lord that hath respect to any Command the Husband shall lay on his wife which is grounded upon Scripture Precepts or Precedents. Secondly, That submission of Wives to their Husbands is fit in the Lord, which is not forbidden in Scripture, neither expressly, nor implicitly, neither plainly, nor by necessary consequence; but to answer such as would pretend scrupulosity, (when they intent only the discharging of themselves from all submission to their Husbands,) let them ruminate or chew the end upon the last term, where Wives are commanded to submit to their own Husbands as unto the Lord, and see what they can gather from those words as a ground to satisfy their consciences for their non-submission. Now because the Holy Ghost did foresee that women (nay, some good women) would not fall down before this truth, but endeavour to maintain that rotten and unsound maxim, viz. that the Wife is the Husband's equal, therefore doth the Spirit of God in Eph. 5.23. (which was last quoted) lay down an undeniable reason why Wives should submit to their Husbands, For (saith he) the Husband is the head of his Wife as Christ is the head of his Church; And then in ver. 24. the Spirit of God comes to a Corrollary or Conclusion, thus, Therefore as the Church is subject unto Christ, so, let the Wives be unto their own Husbands in every thing. Now the reason here brought (for the end beforesaid) stands thus, That as the Church doth submit to Christ's Authority, (he being her head,) so must the wife submit to the Authority of her husband, because he is the head likewise; and that he is so, consider also that of the Apostle, in 1 Cor. 11.3. The head of the woman is the man. Now Headship implies Authority, (that is beyond dispute,) and Authority requires subjection. Let every soul be subject to the higher powers, whosoever resisteth the power resisteth the Ordinance of God, and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation, Rom. 13.1, 2. And none can deny but that Headship, Authority, and power is one and the same. Yet further, concerning this duty of the wife to her husband in relation to subjection to him; mind that of the Apostle Peter, in 1 Pet. 3.1. where he saith, Likewise ye Wives be in subjection to your own Husbands. Then in ver. 6. he brings you a Precedent for it, (and that from a singular woman,) Even as Sarai obeyed Abraham calling him Lord, whose Daughters you are as long as you do well. Now, as it is a glorious privilege to be a Son of Abraham, (in a spiritual sense,) so it is a high honour to be a Daughter of Sarai. And thou who art a Christian-woman, by no means forget, that from the original of time God did ordain that the Husband should rule over his Wife, Gen. 3.16. Nay, the very Heathens thought it fit that every man should bear rule in his own house, Hester. 1.20, 22. But some woman may say, what if my husband be a Son of Belial? One who hath no grace in him? who bears not the Image of God, but of the Devil? Must a Christian be subject to a Heathen? A Saint to a Devil incarnate? I answer, that if thou be so matched in the Marriage Estate, than thy condition is sad, and very sad, and much to be lamented. But still it is a clear truth, that thou must be subject to even such a Husband in all his lawful Commands, and further thou must not obey a godly husband;) And this the Apostle Peter, in 1 Pet, 3.1, 2. doth hint at plainly. Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own Husbands; And then adds this as a reason to excite them to the performance of this duty, that is, That if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the Conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. I see no cause to add one word more to demonstrate that subjection in a wife to her husband is a duty she doth owe him. But let me beseech thee that art a Husband, that all the Commands thou dost lay on thy wife may be in the nature of requests and entreaties; for know it, that though thy wife be not equal to thee in power, yet she is not so subordinate to thee as thy Children and Servants, command service from them but desire thy Wife to be subservient to thee, and if she have any commendable qualifications in her thou mayest be sure thou hast her heart to serve thee, and therefore canst not want her hand. Nay, she will rejoice that at any time she hath any intimation of thy mind in any business that she is able to perform.  
The fifth duty that the Wife doth owe unto her Husband, is, due and comely Reverence; 
The fifth duty of the Wife to the Husband.  Wives must not only submit to their Husbands, and obey them but they must reverence them likewise, and this the Apostle doth charge them to perform; Let the Wife see (saith he) that she reverence her Husband; where observe that in the particle [see] there is an Emphasis, it is an Emphatical expression, for it is as if he had said, be sure let the wife take diligent care of this, and mind it in a special manner, that she omit it not by any means to reverence her Husband, Eph. 5.33. But if it be demanded, how this Reverence should be performed? I answer, two ways, in her words, and in her gestures. First, in her words, and that two ways; first, when she speaks to him; Secondly, when she speaks of him. First, when she speaks to him, by avoiding Clamour, and high language; Secondly, by avoiding of unnecessary repetitions and Tautologies, (especially if her Husband be a judicious and prudent man,) for take this for an undeniable truth, that a man of parts cannot endure a multitude of words, and large preambles. Thirdly, When she makes her desires known to him rather by requests than by peremptory demands, (yet this must be granted, that a Woman may speak to her Husband in a way of intimate familiarity.) Lastly, when she takes a fit time and place to fasten some Christian reproof on him, and then to do it with much meekness and tender love. Secondly, a woman must reverence her Husband in her words when she speaks of him to others; First by giving him on all occasions (that are just) due praise and commendations; And secondly, by being ready to vindicate his reputation against all unjust aspersions & Calumniations that do impeach his credit, and obstruct his well-deserved Estimation in the hearts of such as are wise and godly, whereby she shall not only reverence him herself, but cause others to do the same. Secondly, The Wife must reverence her Husband in her Gestures and Actions; First, by giving him due respect before others abroad, and before Children and Servants at home, not behaving herself in a rude and uncivil way toward him, as slighting his presence. Secondly, in leaving to him the wise and orderly government of the Family, and all Domestic Discipline without contradiction. Lastly, (and in special) in observing his good Counsel, and in following his religious and godly examples. I might here take occasion to fasten a just reproof upon many Women, that are so far from reverencing their Husbands, that on the contrary they are Instruments (but cursed one's) of much disrespect, disgrace, and dishonour to be call upon their Husbands by their Contumelious words to them, their scandalous and contemptible words behind their backs, and in their unworthy, and unbeseeming gestures and actions toward them; but let such women know, that as they are transgressors against the Commands of God relating to the Wife's duty of reverencing her Husband, (which is most of all) so they are no gainers hereby; it may be they make their Husbands good esteem fall to the ground among the base conditioned people, but to be sure their own good names (if ever they had any) they make to stink in the Nostrils of all men who have but moral honesty, and much more with those who are pious and godly indeed. But I shall not prosecute this, because I think it rarely the sin of a godly woman, and I despair of doing good on others.  
In the sixth place it is the duty of the Wife to bear with her Husband's infirmities; 
The sixth duty of the Wife to the Husband.  though the woman be the weaker Vessel, yet the man is not free from, but Obnoxious to many weaknesses, and infirmities, which a loving and tenderhearted wife must labour to bear with; sometimes it doth come to pass (and often too) that the Husband meeting with turbulent and cross businesses, may have such perturbations of mind, that for a time it may interrupt his otherwise sweet composure of spirit, and make him malcontent, and wayward, and hard to please by his dearest relations, that neither Wife nor Children can have a cheerful look from him, nor a good word of him, which the wife with a sweet silence, or amiable carriage, both in words and actions must pass by, and it will be her great wisdom and godly discretion so to do. And hereby his passions of mind will waste the faster, and he return to his usual temper the sooner; but if on the contrary the Wife to his enkindled coals add fuel and combustible matter by bad words, and a crosse-grained behaviour, the whole house will not only be in a disturbing smoke, but in a burning flame; Grievous words stir up Anger, Pro. 15.1. whereas on the contrary, A soft Answer turneth away wrath. It was the sin of Zipporah who failed in her duty in not bearing with her Husband's infirmity; but (as hath been observed) Moses did well to bear with hers, Exod. 4.25. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the Law of Christ, saith the Apostle, Gal. 6.2. This duty concerned all Christians to practice in general, but in the case we speak to it doth concern the Wife most to practise in relation to her Husband, but for her to take a fit opportunity (with Abigail) to acquaint him that his carriage was not good, but (he being godly) very ill-beseeming him, and of scandal to others, this will be an ornament of grace to her (especially if she perform it in a right way.) There may be many other infirmities in a man besides Anger and Passion, which his Wife must, I say, bear with, which we shall not endeavour to particularise, but leave to her to judge of; only we shall in one word give her the rule to proceed by, viz. A man's infirmity (properly) is an unvoluntary deviation from that rule of exactness whereby (by the grace of God) he doth walk in the general course of his life, both in relation to God and man, having first respect to the duties of piety required in the first Table, and secondly, to the duties of righteousness in the second Table of the Decalogue, or ten Commandments.  
In the seventh place, 
The seventh duty of the Wife to the Husband.  it is the duty of the Wife to the Husband to yield him help and furtherance in his outward Estate. But in the prosecution of this duty we shall use the more conciseness; having mentioned something this way in the ninth duty of the Husband to his Wife, only what was there delivered was upon another Account, that is, to put it upon the Husband to stir up his Wife to avoid idleness, and to labour to be industrious; where her chief Employment was expressed to be, to guide the house, and to look well to the ways of her Family. But here we must labour to stir her up to the practice of this her duty, and we hope the convincing her that it is a duty will be Motive sufficient to that end. Now here it will be necessary for the Wife to take notice of the injunction of the Apostle in 1 Tim. 5.14. where he saith, I will (which is as much as to say I command) that the younger women marry, (bear Children) and guide the house. Now to guide the house, (at least well, for that must be understood) is to see every servant perform their duty, and every one in the Family to have food in due season, and that it be good for quality, and enough for quantity, and nothing spoilt for want of seasonable spending; she must have a jealous eye upon such servants in whom there is the least ground of suspicion of unfaithfulness, to prevent their passages out of the back door (as we ●ay) and to take heed of laying temptations on them, by letting them enjoy any opportunities to come at such things which concern them not to have to do with but at times of washings, or cleansing the corners of the house; for the Proverb is, that the temptation makes the Thief. She must in a special manner be careful of the Education and breeding of the Children (they being the chiefest part of her Husbands, and her own Estate;) she must be as helpful as she may (if need require) to her Husband in his outward Calling. But thou that art a Wife, if thou desire to perform thy duty this way, then for thy imitation read often, and consider seriously of the ways of the good Housewife in Pro. 31.10. to the end of that Chapter. And truly, let me tell thee, that if thou be not conscientious to further thy Husband in his outward estate, thou art very unworthy to have any share in that honour of being reputed among the number of meet helpers. There hath many a man been raised to a good outward estate by the industry of his wife, for the hand of the diligent maketh rich, Prov. 10.4. (whether the hand of Husband or Wife.) And many a man hath been brought to miserable penury and beggary by the Idleness (and such qualities as attend thereon,) of his wife. Lastly, The Wife may very much help her Husband in his outward Estate by labouring to prevent him, or to seek to reclaim him from profuse, unthrifty, and expensive ways; I say, she should first labour to prevent him from such Estate-consuming courses, which she may do by labouring to provide all necessary and wholesome diet at home for him, with due attendance and a quiet Family; for many a man having wanted these at home hath sought them abroad, and so by little and little custom in unthrifty courses hath brought a necessity on him of continuance in them, a necessity indeed, but yet springing from his own wicked heart. But thou that art a Wife, if thou canst not prevent this plague from falling on thy Family, then in the second place thou must labour in all ways of wisdom and sweetness to reclaim him out of these pernicious courses. Beseech him to consider his sin (by this wicked way of his) against God; Secondly, against his own soul; Thirdly, against his body by unhealthfulnesse and noisome diseases; Fourthly, against his Credit; Fifthly, Against his own Estate; Sixthly, Against thyself. Lastly, Against his poor Children. Thou must also labour to be as amiable in his eye as possible, that he may delight in thy company; (truly, they are no good means that some women use to reclaim their Husbands by, as to follow them with an enraged spirit to an Alehouse, and there to rail, and foam, pull, and tear, as if they would throw the house out of the window (as we say) for this course seldom or never doth do any good.) But if all the means thou canst use prove in vain, beg of God to sanctify this sore afflicton to thee and thine, and the more expensive thy Husband is abroad, the more sparing be thou at home, that if possible the Estate may hold out to be a means to bring up thy Children, until (under God) they can shift by good ways for themselves. But for thy own condition, whether in such a desperate case thou mayest make a purse for thyself (as we say) or not, I shall say very little, (and that under correction too, submitting to the judgement of learned and judicious Divines,) but I am fully satisfied in my own conscience, that thou mayest not (contrary to thy Husband's allowance) lay by one penny (as we lay) against a wet day; and the reason why I thus think, is, because thy Husband alone hath the propriety in his Estate, unless some agreement between you before Marriage, or between thy friends and him have altered the case. And we must for ever walk by this Rule, that we must not do evil that good may come thereby, Rom. 3.8. for their damnation is just. But this thou must do, (and in so doing approve thyself a Christian.) thou must act faith on God, Hab. 3.17, 18. And that thou canst not do if thou neglect lawful means, or use any that is unlawful.  

The eighth duty of the Wife to the Husband.  Now in the eighth and last place, the duty of the Wife to her Husband, is, to put forth herself with all tenderness and endeared Affections, with all readiness, enlargedness, and cheerfulness, to yield him comfort and secure in the time of bodily affliction, sickness, and weakness, (we have seen before, that the aiming at comfort in all conditions is one end (and a principal one too) of our desiring the Marriage condition.) And if a woman be any way negligent herein, she doth leave unperformed one special duty she doth owe to her Husband; for if ever a man stand in need of his Wives help, he doth so in a special manner when he cannot help himself. Now the time of sickness and weakness is such a time, and then the wife must in an extraordinary way put forth her best abilities in her own person to contribute to the foresaid purpose; and not only so, but she must labour to procure able and faithful attendants about him; and by no means neglect to look out to procure (under God) help from such Physicians as have both the Theory & practic part of their profession, and manifest most tenderness, care, and honesty for the good and recovery of their patients. But what means soever she makes use of, she must depend on the God of means for a blessing, which she must crave of him by earnest and fervent prayer, for such prayer is a means sanctified of God to save the sick, Jam. 5.15. We shall turn in here, and proceed no further to lay down the particular duties that the Wife doth owe to her Husband, of which she must make conscience as in the presence of God. And that as she will approve herself to be a meet helper to her Husband; the number of which duties you see are eight, first, Matrimonial love; Secondly, Cohabitation; Thirdly, To be helpful to him in the best things for the good of his soul; Fourthly, Submission to him; Fifthly, To reverence him; Sixthly, To labour to bear with his Infirmities; Seventhly, To yield him furtherance in his outward Estate; Eighthly, and lastly, To labour to help and comfort him in time of Illness and weakness of any kind.  
We have endeavoured hitherto to consider of the distinct duties of the Husband to his Wife: And of the Wives duties to her Husband; or which duties some that the Husband doth owe unto his Wife are the same that the Wife doth owe unto her Husband: And some that the Wife doth owe unto her Husband are the same that the Husband doth owe unto his Wife, yet with some apparent differences.  
But now there remains some duties to be considered of that are equally due to each other, (though not before proposed) and must be so handled.  

The first joint duty between a man and wife.  The first joint duty between man and wife equally obliging both, is, that they labour to maintain a good opinion one of another touching their faithfulness in keeping the Marriage Covenant, and that neither of them have violated the same by lodging their hearts in the bosom of strangers, or defiling their bodies with them; For, if for want of care herein there appear ground of just suspicion of unfaithfulness, jealousy will get into the heart, and take up its residence there until it have consumed the sap, and devoured the root of all true love; And then miserable days in all probability will be the portion of both as long as their unhappy lives last. Mark how Solomon in the Canticles doth describe jealousy, Jealousy is cruel as the grave, the coals thereof are coals of fire which have a most vehement flame, Eccl. 8.6. this fire will not admit of any limits. I say again, it will eat out love, it will consume joy and all comfort in the Marriage-Estate; yea, it will waste the flesh, the marrow, and the bone, and shorten life itself. Jealousy, saith the Holy Ghost, is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not regard a Ransom; neither will he rest content though thou givest many gifts, Prov. 6.34, 35. Of all wrongs that can be offered to man, or wife, they will not endure this breach of the Conjugal Contract; good natures (especially gracious hearts) in man and wife will bear with the Infirmities of each other, but they will not be patiented when they see this cursed enormity. Here than you see that this care that is to be taken by both parties to labour to preserve in their hearts a good opinion of each other this way, may well fall in as a duty to be minded of exceeding high concernment.  
The second joint duty between man and wife equally concerning both, is, 
The second joint duty between a man and wife.  the yielding to each other due benevolence; the Apostle expressly requires it, 1 Cor. 7.3. and gives an undeniable reason for it in ver. 4. and in ver. 5. he tells us (upon the matter) that to deny the same each to other, is, to defraud each other, but I refer you to the place and will not add one syllable more on this point for special reason.  

The third joint duty between a man and Wife.  The third and last joint duty of man and wife equally concerning both, is, that they do not pollute or defile the Marriage bed, for it may be polluted &c. two ways. First, by inordinateness; Secondly, by unseasonableness. First, by inordinateness, when Married persons abuse their liberty in Marriage-Conjunctions to excess, and so make it a means rather to increase Concupiscence than to mortify the same; they should cast on water to quench lust, and not Oil to inflame the fury thereof. God hath ordained Marriage as a means to avoid Fornication, but this excess we speak of, makes (even) such persons more obnoxious to temptations to that sin, than happily most are that are in the single condition. And God doth many times severely punish this sin, but the Philosopher will tell you how; He will acquaint you, that by this inordinate and over-frequent actings you do evacuate the best spirits which God and Nature hath not only appointed for generation, but for the supportation of the body of man, which otherwise would be full of Imbecility, but being so profusely cast away there followeth much weakness in the body, raging pains in the head, and sometimes that exceeding sad affliction of the running of the Reins, and sometimes the effect of these distempers brings death. Now it is true, both sexes are not joint sufferers alike, but they are joint sinners, and should jointly be humbled and reform. Thus much for the first head; but secondly, the Marriagebed may be polluted by using it in unseasonable times; for there are two times that God doth prohibit these conjunctions in; First, in case the Lord call us to the duty of Fasting and Prayer, than there must be a cessation and intermission this way, 1 Cor. 7 5. Defraud not one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to Fasting and prayer. The Lord also by the Prophet Joel requires the Bridegroom to go forth of his Chamber in the day of humiliation, Joel 2.15, 16. When the people of God make their approaches before the Lord on extraordinary occasions there must be very serious preparations to such duties; And as jewels and rich apparel must be laid aside in some cases, as Exod. 33.4, 5, 6. So upon some other approaches they must not come at their wives, Exo. 19.15. Thus much for the first unseasonable time, whereby the Marriagebed is polluted. But secondly, In a special manner this sin may be committed in those ordinary seasons of extraordinary flux, or overflowings of nature in the Feminine gender, for then the Lord hath forbidden all near approaches in such a way as we speak to, and that under a special penalty: even the being cut off from their people, which was either by death, or castings out from Church-society, (to the later I incline,) Leu. 18.19. Chap. 20.18. and in Ezek. 22.10. the Lord complains that in Jerusalem there were a very flagitious people this way. Now then, by these pollutions of the Marriagebed, first, by inordinateness; Secondly, unseasonableness, the opinion of an Orthodox Divine will be confirmed, which is, that as a man may be a drunkard with his own drink, and a glutton with his own meat, so a man may be a filthy and unclean person with his own wife. And for the sin of these last persons defiling the Marriagebed by their unnatural and unclean Conjunctions, God doth punish it (according to the observation of the Philosopher) with an unhealthful and leprous Offspring. And for aught thou knowest with spiritual judgements on thy soul, even hardness of heart, and final Impenitency. Therefore in the name and fear of the great God it concerns you both to keep at a far distance from these pollutions in the Marriage-condition. This may suffice for these three last and joint duties concerning both man & wife; First, to avoid the giving any cause for jealousy to enter into the heart; Secondly, the yielding to each other due benevolence; And lastly, a religious care to shun all pollution in the Marriagebed, either by inordinateness, or unseasonableness in the use thereof.  
We are now by the Lords good leave and divine assistance to proceed to the last thing (propounded in the beginning,) which we are to consider of before Marriage, namely, the duties that both Husband and Wife do owe unto their Family in relation to both Children and Servants. Which because most of these duties concern both Husband and Wife, we shall endeavour to handle them together for brevity's sake, yet make some distinction, that they may both take notice of their duties, where distinction is to be made.  
The first duty that both Husband and Wife do owe unto their Family, 
The first duty of Governors to th●ir Family.  is to Catechise and instruct their Children and Servants in the knowledge of God, and fear of his Name This duty doth chief belong to the Husband, yet in his absence it doth properly concern his wife likewise. Now the Great God doth not only enjoin this duty upon the Children of Israel, but doth much inculcate the same, Deut. 4 6. Take heed to thyself diligently lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life, but thou shalt teach them thy Sons, and thy Sons Sons. Then again, Deut. 6. 6.7. These words which I command thee this day shall be in thy heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy Children, etc. Yet further, Deut. 11.19. Ye shall lay up these my words in your hearts, and in your souls, and bind them for a sign upon your hands, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes, and ye shall teach them your Children, etc. The Apostle requires the same duty of Parents, Eph. 6.4. Ye Parents provoke not your Children to wrath, but bring them up in instruction and information of the Lord. Solomon exhorts us to the same duty, Prov. 22 6. Train up a Child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not departed from it. Now in Scripture you shall find this duty of teaching and instructing Children and Servants was frequently performed by the godly: first see it in the practice of Abraham, Gen. 18.19. Further view it in the resolution of Joshuah, Josh. 24 15 Also in the care of David, both in 1 Chron. 28.9. and in Psal 34.11. And can we conceive that Cor●el●us did neglect this duty? who feared God with all his household, Acts 10.2. Or that any of those holy men did omit this duty, whose houses were Churches? Rom. 16. ●. Col. 4.15. Phil. 2. If we should so think we give ground enough for others to conclude we are very uncharitable. Besides, if the judgement of Ancient and Modern Divines, in relation to this truth, be of force with you to confirm you herein, you must then be satisfied, that it is the duty of Parents and Governors of Families to take much pains to teach and instruct their Children and Servants to fear and serve the Lord; Or else what mean all their Orthodox forms of Catechism to yield help to conscientious Christians in the discharge of this duty, (of which there be many extant— blessed be the Lord, & have been in ages past,) Doubtless you must be convinced that it is your duty, only if you know these things blessed are you if you do them, 
The second du●● of Governors of 〈◊〉 ●s  Joh. 13.17.  
The second duty that both man and wife do owe unto their Children and Servants, is to pray with them, and for them. Ye have seen but now that Parents must take pains to teach and instruct their Children and Servants in the knowledge of God; But what success can there be expected as the blessed fruit of such a duty without prayer with, and for them? Paul may plant, and Apollo's may water, but God giveth the increase, 1 Cor. 3.6. But this increase must be humbly sought of God by Prayer. There is a spirit of Indotionablenesse in all by nature, but it doth abound many times in some Children and Servants. I will instruct and teach thee (saith David) in the way thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye, Psal. 32.8. Then instantly adds in the very next verse, Be ye not as the horse or Mule which have no understanding, etc. There is a great deal of ignorance and blockish stupidity in all sorts of persons, (and therefore in Children and Servants,) which none but God can take away; it was God that opened the heart of Lydia, that she attended to the things that were spoken of Paul, Acts 16.14. Therefore there is great need to pray unto God to take away all obstacles that may obstruct the edification of thy Family in saving knowledge, and Grace, or else thou mayest have small hopes of doing them any good by all thy other pains in the discharging thy duties. Mind the imprecation of Jeremy, Pour out thy wrath (saith he) upon the Heathen, and upon the Families that call not on thy Name, Jer. 10.25. Holy Job was very conscientious in this duty of prayer for his, Job 1.15. He offereth burnt Offerings to God in relation to his Sons and Daughters; with which duty the Learned do conclude he offered Prayer, and of that there can be no doubt, because when he offered burnt Offerings for his three Friends, he also prayed for them, Job 42.7, 8, 10. David he prays for Solomon, 1 Chron. 29.19. And can any with reason conclude that he did not pray for his other Children upon all Occasions? A very gross absurdity it were so to do; Certainly we may desist from further prosecution of this point as to Information, that it is the duty of Parents to pray with, and for their Children and Servants, (because all men will confess it;) but for their neglect of it we shall by the help of God (in due place) labour to meet with them by just reproof. But for such as are godly Children and Servants, who take notice of the extreme remissness of their Parents and Masters in performing this, demonstrating evidently that they are Christians by praying for them; I exhort that they would themselves go to God in secret, to beg of him to open the eyes of such Governors to see with godly sorrow this their abominable sin, and to give them grace to reform it, lest such Governor of Families sink into the bottomless pit o● hell for it to all Eternity.  

The third duty of Governors of Families.  In the third place it is the duty of Parent and Governors of Families to labour to wa● before their Children and Servants in all holy and religious ways, and to be very circumspect herein. We have taken some notice that it is the duty of such Governors to teach those that are under their government the knowledge of God, and to inform them in the ways of his fear. Now if this be done only by precept, and not by example, there is small hope of doing them any good, for a man may teach his Child or Servant the way to heaven by Precept, and the way to hell by bad example; the leaders of this people cause them to ●erre, and they that are led of them are destroyed, saith the Prophet, Isa. 9, 16. It is to no ●nd to teach the first way if ye neglect the second; (or at least to little purpose.) The Scribes and Pharisees (saith Christ) sit in Moses chair, whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do: but after their do do not, for they say and do not, Mat. 23.2, 3. So if Parents, & c. ●e like them in teaching, and in practice too, well they may lead them to sin by their examples, but if they lead them to good it will be very rare; for the evil examples of Superiors are of great force to lead the Inferiors ●nto vile ways, and this daily experience will ●eare witness to. If Parents and Masters be given over to swearing, Blaspheming, lying, drunkenness, uncleanness, hating of God, his ways, and people, or to any other sin, of such ●ves many times are their Children and Servants; for of this take special notice that evil examples are of a far more drawing nature for Imitation, than good are hopeful for Reformation; You that are Governors if you tread in filth but over shoes, may occasion those that are under you to wade over their boot tops. They that pervert souls in any kind may make them that are under their charge seven fold more the children of hell than themselves. Good men are easily misled by bad examples. Peter gives a bad example, Gal. 2.11, 12. then in ver. 13. the Jews and Barnabas are corrupted by it: Now if such men may be so abused by bad examples, there is much more cause of fear of those who deserve no good repute.  

The fourth duty of Governors of Families.  Now in the fourth and last place, it is the duty of Parents and Masters to their Children and Servants, to labour to restrain them from walking in scandalous and evil ways, and this to do betimes; for since the fall of Adam there is in all his posterity such a cursed depravity that there remains no principles of good in them to further the soul in gracious ways; the mind is stuffed with ignorance, the will is perverse, and all the Affections are out of order. Now the will is the chief Agitator of all evilly and opposer of good; the will should be guided by a rectified understanding, but it rebels against it, or else how comes it to pass that a man is violently carried to sin against conscience, and against an enlightened judgement, as it is often seen? yet this is a truth that so far forth as the will is regenerate it desires to walk closely with God, and not t● deviate from his Commandments; and th● is the Will our Saviour speaks of, that was in his Disciples when they were with him in the time of his Agony, (though he spoke more particularly to Peter,) The spirit is willing, (or ready) but the flesh is weak, Mat. 26.41. And of this Will the Apostle speaks of, Rom. 7.18. To will is present with me; but this is not the will we speak of, there must be no restrictions laid on this, but we must rather labour after maintaining the liberty of it, but it is the perverse wills of Children and Servants that their Superiors must labour to check and bridle. A child set at liberty maketh his mother ashamed, Prov. 29.15. But it may be here demanded, What means must be used by Superiors to restrain Inferiors from walking in scandalous ways? And for curbing the perverse wills of such as God hath set under them to be governed by them? I answer, First, loving Admonitions, and sweet endeavours to convince them of their evil ways, (only this I must premise, that what course is to be taken with Church Members upon their uneven walking must in some particulars of them be taken with Domestic Members.) The Apostle speaks to the believing Romans of his confidence of their abilities to admonish one another, Rom. 15.14. And can we conceive that they did not improve those abilities upon occasions when Brethren did offend? Sure we cannot. Now this way of admonition God himself takes with Cain, Gen. 4.7. And Jesus Christ in Mat. 18.15. prescribes this rule● very full is the Apostle in 1 Thes. 5.14. Now we exhort you Brethren, warn them that are unruly: be patiented towards all men; So in 2 Tim. 2.25. In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves, if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledgement of the truth, and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the Devil. Now when thou dost thus admonish the offender, or offenders, under thy charge, tell him, or them, that by such courses they sin against God, (where lay down Scripture proof that they may be convinced.) Secondly, that they sin against their own souls. Thirdly, That they do provoke God to execute upon them all judgements spiritual, temporal, and eternal, and in these two last particulars labour to amaze them with terror and dread. But if this gentle means will not prevail with them, thou must sharply reprove them, that they may be sound in the faith, Tit. 1.15. And this sharpness may be included in that phrase in Jud. 23. pulling them out of the fire. So Leu. 19.17. Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart, but thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy Neighbour and not suffer sin upon him. But if this means also produce no amendment, then in the last place thou must make use of the ordinance of Correction; For foolishness is bound up in the heart of a Child, but the rod of correction will drive it away, Prov. 22, 15. And it may so be too, that a servant will not be corrected with words, Prov. 29.19. And yet certainly God would have them reform too: But take notice of this also, that the procrastination, or putting off of Correction of your Children, will but fit them to be incorrigible; the bowing trees whilst they are young is a similitude often on this occasion made use of, but too seldom practised, Prov. 13.24. He that spareth his Rod hateth his Son; but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes. Prov. 23.23, 24. Withhold not Correction from the Child; for if thou beat him with the Rod, he shall not die; thou shalt beat him with the Rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. But in making use of this Ordinance of Correction, whether of Children or Servants, observe with care these three things: First, a fit time; Secondly, that your ends be good; and lastly, that it be in a right manner. First, for a fit time: which time is, when the heat of Passion is over; for we must be just in the measure of Correction, which we cannot be if Passion have command. Passion may provoke us to play the Tyrants, and to make the party corrected despised in our eyes, Deut. 25.3. And that will dishearten and deject them. In the second place, propose a right end in correcting any under your charge, you must not give correction to manifest your Authority, or to be Revenged on them for crossing you, but sincerely to kill sin in them, to subdue their exorbitant lust, to make them more sit to glorify God, and perform service unto men: these and such like aught to be purely your aims. And lastly, you must administer this Ordinance in a a right manner; that is, with lifting up your hearts to God, desiring him with the correction to vouchsafe to them Instruction, to sanctify it to them, so that it may prove effectual for their Reformation, to make them obedient to God in word and deed, and faithtull in the discharge of all the duties they own unto you. Now when your carriage is truly thus in your correcting Children or Servants, you may (by the blessing of God) expect some gracious effects of it, except the Lord have a controversy with, and against them, to harden their hearts, by this (and other means) to their own perdition.  
Thus we have done with the four general Duties which both Husband and wife own unto both Children and Servants: as first to instruct them in the ways of God. Secondly, to pray with them, and for them. Thirdly, to walk before them in good examples. Fourthly, and lastly, to seek to reclaim them from bad ways. Now because the neglect of these Duties is a prime cause of infinite dishonour to God, the means of many souls perishing to all eternity, and the breeding of multitudes of rotten and vile members in Church and State, we shall endeavour with the Lords Assistance, to proceed to some reasons, enforcing the performance of these Duties by all godly Governors, and then come to make some Application thereof.  
Reas. 1 The first Reason is taken from the Command of God, who requires the performance of all these duties at thy hands: for thou hast seen by variety of Scripture Texts, that these duties are not Arbitrary or of an Indifferent nature, that thou mayst do them, or leave them undone at thy own discretion. Now as the Promises of God are to be the ground of thy Faith; so the Commands of God are to be the ground of thy obedience. That God requires these Duties of thee, from hence thou mayst gather an Argument, that thou art bound to set thyself with all thy might to the performance of them: A good understanding have all they that do his Commandments, Psalm 111. ult. If ye know these things, blessed are ye if ye do them, John 13.17. The life of a Christian lieth chiefly in doing; What singular thing do ye? Matth. 5.47. for so it is rendered in the old Translation. What is the Theory of Religion, if the practic part be wanting? Now as you would approve yourselves to be the Children of God, you must obey him in all things; for, His servants you are whom you obey, Rom. 6.16.  
The second Reason inforeing from you the Reas. 2 performance of these duties, before mentioned, for the good of your children and servants, is taken from those bowels of compassions that should be in you, relating to the good of their souls: for by thy neglect of teaching them the knowledge of God, and praying for them, and with them, and walking before them in good examples, and labouring to reclaim them from sin, they may perish in hell for evermore; He (saith James) that converteth a sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, 
Jam. 5.20.  and hid a multitude of sins; (and what knowest thou but by thy conscionable use of these means thou mayest instrumentally do it.) In Exod. 23.4. the Lord commands, that if thou meet thy Enemy's Ox, or his Ass going astray, that thou shalt surely bring him back again. How much more then oughtest thou to be careful when thou seest thy Children and Servants go astray from God in the wales that lead to hell, to be careful to bring them back again, and so to secure their poor souls from perishing. Now in the way to hell thy Children and Servants always walk when they are in a state of ignorance, and in the practice of any sin. My people (saith God) are destroyed for lack of knowledge, Hos. 4.6. And as for thy poor Children thy own Loins have been the Conduit-pipe to convey into their hearts and souls (from Adam the fountain) all that corruption of nature which is in them, and all that propensity to sin which is in their wills. Truly, it is not only against a gracious principle, but against an Humane and Moral one too, that thou shouldst thrust thy poor Child into a dangerous quagmire, and then deny him thy hand to help pluck him back again; and that thou shouldst give him many a deadly and mortal wound, and refuse to apply a plaster for his cure; (these similitudes are infinitely too short to set forth this case fully.) Now when thou dost neglect these means beforesaid thou dost show thyself to be a cruel and bloody Man, a most savage beast, there is no terms in the world that can fully set forth the intolerable vileness of thy condition; be thou amazed and tremble like Belshazzar in another case, Dan. 5.6. and set thyself to reform.  
The third reason to quicken thee to the performance Reas. 3 of the duties beforesaid, is taken from the account thou art to give to God at the great day for those souls that he hath committed to thy charge, if they by thy neglect perish, thou must be responsible for them at the general Audit before God, Angels, and Men. At which time the Lord will not remit thee one grain of the non performance of any one of these (or any other) duties, which thou shouldst have performed to have sought his own glory, and the salvation of thy Children and Servants by: For in Gods calling thee to be the Governor of a Family he hath made thee a watchman over their souls. And consider thou that place for the purpose in hand, in Ezek. 33.8. Eli the Priest was by reason of his indulgence to his Children a very defective man this way, (yet many thousand Millions of men are more.) He sought to reclaim his Sons from their wickedness only by admonishing them of it, and of the judgements of God for the same, (which is more perhaps than thou didst ever do,) but there unseasonably came to a period; God punished this sin of his; First, upon those his wicked and degenerate Sons; then on his own person; and lastly, on his whole house; His Sons were slain both in one day, himself broke his neck, and his house lost the Priest's Office, 1 Sam. 2.22, 23, 24, 34, 35, 36. Chap. 4.11, 18. Read the Story and lay it sadly to thy heart. But the Learned do conceive, that the personal punishment of Eli was but temporal, because he was gracious, though in the case  a grievous offender; I say, read and and consider, and as thou likest the punishment so practise the sin; it is true, God is patiented, but this his patience (if further abused by thee) will not prove thy privilege, but thy infinite disadvantage: For thou shalt (when it is too late) find thou art rather reserved for hell than preserved from the evil of punishment; the patience of God will be but his omission of punishment, and not the remission of thy sin.  
Reas. 4 The fourth and last Reason to induce thee to the practice of these duties to thy Family, may be taken from that respect thou mayest (in due place) have to the recompense of reward; for if thou be an instrument of the glory of God in the conversion of souls, thou mayest (through free grace) expect an interest in that promise of God, That they that are wise shall shine as the firmament, but they that convert many to righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever, Dan. 12.3. And what knowest thou but thou mayest have the presence and assistance of the spirit of God with thee in thy discharge of these duties (if thou be conscientious therein) both for the information of thy Children and Servants, and the reformation of their lives.  
Thus much for the Reasons (or Motives) to actuate and provoke your spirits to the discharge of those duties you own to your Children and Servants; First, taken from the command of God. Secondly, From those bowels of Compassions to their souls that ought to be in you. Thirdly, From that account you must pass to God for their souls if they perish by your default. And lastly, from that respect you may have to the recompense of reward; We shall come to a few words of Application, before we proceed to the ensuing matter.  
This in the first place may serve for Information, Use 1 to let you see the original cause, and the cursed and empoisoned root from whence doth spring all the abominations of these times, the profanation of God's Sabbaths, drunkenness, pride, uncleanness, hating of the power of Godliness, and all other sins. Even from hence, that Parents and Masters neglect their duties to their Children and Servants in Catechising and instructing them in the ways of God, as also that they pray not with them, nor for them, nor walk before them, giving them good examples, (but rather the contrary;) and last, in that they use no means to reclaim them from vicious ways, but leave them to themselves, laying the reins of corrupt liberty on their necks, whereby they run a full career into all ways of sin, and so to hell at last. The Lord hath cause to complain of the multitude and heinousness of the sins of these times as once he did of the sins of Israel, Amor ●. 13. Behold (saith God) I am pressed under you as a Cart is pressed that is full of sheaves; and truly, it is only his mercy that the Land doth not spew us out, Leu. 18 28. And that which aggravates our sins, is, that after the faithful Ministers of God in the later, and this present Age have cried out against the horrid sins of the Times and have spent the strength of their Reins, and wasted their best spirits, that they may sit down and mourn over us, and say, they have spent their labour in vain, and their strength to no purpose, Isa. 49.4. For custom in sin doth bring a necessity to sin, and that in such an habitual way that no means without a miracle of mercy can reform the evil manners of most, for the Ministers of the Gospel cannot preach down sin, nor the Civil Magistrate cut it down with the sword of justice. But Beloved, how easily (by the blessing of God) might many, if not all, the Exorbitances of these times have been prevented by the Christian and prudent care of Domestic Governors; they might have broke the Egg betimes, and so have prevented it from bringing forth a Serpent; they might have taken and dashed Babylon's little ones against the stones, Psal. 137. ult. Every Family is a little Nursery to the great Orchards of Church and Commonwealth. Now Family Discipline is the pruning, engrafting, Enoculating, and digging about the root of the tender Imps to qualify and fit them for transplantation into either or both the foresaid Orchards. But if the means  be not used, instead of removing fruitful trees you shall replant Crabs, briers and thorns, and such Vines as shall bring forth no Grapes, but such as Moses mentions in his Song, Deut. 32.32. Their Vine is of the Vine of Sodom, and of the fields of Gomorrah: their grapes are grapes of gall, their clusters are bitter. They shall bring forth such grapes as the Lord complains of, Isa. 5.2. Now as Parents and Masters may be charged to be the original cause of all the sins beforesaid, (and of the sins of the like kind) so may all the Errors fundamental, and circumstantial, now maintained with a Whore's forehead, be brought and laid down at their doors likewise; for had they taken more pains with their Children and Servants to season their hearts, and inform their judgements by a catechistical way in the solid and profound truths of God, both concerning faith, and life, (things to be believed, & duties to be practised,) there might (by the blessing of God on their sincere endeavours) have been better fruit expected in these days of sadness and sorrow than declining pure truth, vilifying Gods Ordinances and faithful Ministers; raging against, and worrying of the tender Lambs of Christ. In which they take the same diabolical course that some heathens of old took, that is, clothed the Saints in the skins of Bears, and other wild beasts, that so their dogs might fasten their empoisoned fangs in their tender hearts; so these calumniate such (who by the grace of God, walk closer to the Rule than themselves) with many opprobrious and vile (but notoriously false) aspersions; they are (say they) enemies to the State, disturbers of the peace of a Nation, and many other hellish accusations they have against them which I forbear to name, (not doubting but in God's time the guilt of their abominations will settle in their own bosoms, and so clap to their hearts, and so sting their souls, that by the goodness of God they shall be awakened to see their evil, and repent of it before it be too late.) By reason whereof all their beagles and bloodhounds take the sent, (not by the feet of the non-guilty) from the cursed vomit of the accuser of the Brethren, and run with so much hellish fury at them, that did not God graciously, and the precious Laws of the times preserve them, they must inevitably perish; but blessed be God there is yet hopes in Israel concerning this thing, Ezra 10.2. For in order to the reforming of the destructive errors of these times, the higher powers do declare their sense of the same, and do protest against them, and we hope they will make a hedge of thorns against them. Now as wicked Parents and Masters have by their neglect of their duties occasioned all the evils of sin , and pointed at, so they have been the occasion (by good consequence) of all the evil of punishments that this day the righteous God hath inflicted on the Nation, for sin is the Antecedent of punishment, for the plagues and vengeance of God do follow sin as the thread doth the needle. And here we might run in Infinitum in making this clear from Scripture demonstrations, some we shall produce, and but a few to what we might; Read Deut. 28. the whole Chapter, consider Lam. 3.39. also 2 Chron 36.14, 15, 16. and Hos 4.1, 2, 3, 5. lastly, Mat. 23.37, 38. Thus for the first Use.  
In the second place it may serve for just reproof, Use 2 and to speak terror and horror to the consciences of all Parents and Masters who are guilty of the cursed neglect of the duties (,) which they own unto their Children and Servants in reference to the good of their souls. You have seen that by this means you are accessary to the overflowing enormities of every kind, and horrid crimes of the times, and are the meritorious cause of the inundation of the miseries that is now by the hand of the all-just God fallen upon us in these our days, which without infinite mercy will bury every man and mother's Child in their own justly-deserved ruin; and hast thou, whosoever thou art, a heart of stone, insensible of thy own condition? Art thou worse than a Stoic? Hast thou, like Jonah, set the sea of the world all in a raging? And art thou fast asleep? Ah poor soul, thy condition is to be lamented with tears of blood, both in regard of thy guilt, and also of thy punishment; thou art guilty first of the sins of thy Family, (and by their bad examples) of the sins of whole Towns, Cities, Counties, and of the whole Nation; thou art guilty of the precious blood of their souls; thou hast sent souls to hell by Millions and Legions; thou hast crammed and rammed souls into hell. Oh thou unmercilesse Cannibal, what hast thou done? Hast thou married a wife to send her to Hell? Hast thou begot Children to make them fuel for Hell? Hast thou hired Servants to thrust them head and shoulder (as we say) into Hell? Ah thou bloodhound, thou hellhound, dost thou lie under so much guilt, and yet hast an Adamantine soul? Oh how infinitely miserable art thou by reason of sin? But that is not all, (yet I must confess the evil of sin is worse than the evil of punishment,) thou art liable to undergo more punishment than men or Angels can conceive, (much less acquaint thee with.) He that shall cut the throat, (or otherwise murder) but one man, the Laws of men will both sentence him to, and execute death on him; how then shalt thou escape at the Bar of God's Tribunal for thy cutting the throats of such multitudes, of multitudes of poor precious souls? (one whereof is worth more than worlds of treasure?) Dost thou think that the Judge of all the World will not do right? 
Gen. 28.25  Foster not in ●hy self such a thought, for God will arraign ●hee, sentence, doom, and damn thee to Hell ●t the Bar of his terrible Tribunal seat, from whence thou must go pinioned, mancled, and ●ettered to hell, guarded with the infernal ●rew of devils thy companions in sin and torment, and at thy first entrance into that pit of perdition thou shalt rouse up all the damned Ghosts to make way for thee; read that place, ●a. 14.9. (it may make thy loins to tremble, ●hy knees to smite one against another, and the ●aire of thy head to stand on end,) and for such ●f thy relations to whom God gave no repentance. Oh how will they salute thee, and upbraid thee? and say here is my cursed Husband, ●ill thy Wife say. Oh here is my cursed Father, says thy poor Children; and say the ●ervants here is my cursed Master. Oh say ●hey all, had he instructed us in the ways of God, prayed with us, and for us, lived a holy ●fe for an example to us, and used all means ●reclaime us from our evil ways, though he ●ad beat us black and blue, and given us stripes within the bowels of the belly, Prov. 20.30. ● look the old Translation,) he might have sa●ed us from hence, but now we are irrecoverably lost for ever. After all which down thou ●nkest with mountains of sins and curses into ●he bottomless pit, when the hatches of hell ●hall be shut upon thee, and then thou shalt be tormented with a vengeance, with forked Instruments with iron teeth, with Serpents, and Scorpions, and the biting and gnawing of the worm of conscience, than thou shalt not have one drop of water to cool thy tongue, nor one breath of air to refresh thee with; and that which will aggravate thy misery will be this, that the time of thy torments in hell will be Millions of Millions of years; nay, it will be beyond time, (even all time) for ever, and for evermore; and therefore well said a Reverend Modern Divine, that this word ever kills the heart. Thus much likewise for the use of reproof and terror.  
Use 3 In the third place this may be for a use of Lamentation, to bewail that spirit of Antipathy that is almost in all men of all Estates and conditions against the performance of Religious Family duties, for there is a spirit of opposition rising in the hearts of men, (and women too) against not only the duties before mentioned, but also against the persons of those who desire conscientiously to discharge them, they will labour to cast a damp on the spirits of such persons by speaking evil of this way of God, and by belching out with their black mouth all the hellish filth and foam that possible they can. They will scoff at the people of God, nickname them, rail at them, and revile them, even for their care and pains to save the souls of such whom the great God hath committed to their charge. But know, that to speak against the performance of any duty that God requires, is, to speak against God himself who requires obedience thereunto, and what is that but blasphemy in a high degree, for hereby thou dost derogate from the infinite wisdom of God, and arrogate to thy own, but know thou that the foolishness of God is wiser than men, 1 Cor. 1.25. Yet mistake not the Apostle, as if he did grant that in God there were a deficiency in understanding; for that cannot be, for if God were imperfect in any one of his Attributes it would make the duty itself null, and so God could not have an essential being; but the Apostle speaks after the manner of men, as if he did grant that (which must not be granted,) by way of supposition; yet saith he, that deficiency (or that foolishness which foolish and wicked men think to be in God) is wiser than all the Wit, parts, and understanding that the wisest men in the world have. What a degenerate Creature than art thou (whosoever thou art,) that once darest enter the lists of dispute against thy Creator, as thou dost that censurest such as obey God in any kind to be fools, and ridiculous, and absurd fellows, (for that, if not worse, is thy language.) I am certain that by this means thou comest within the lists of that woe, Isa. 5.20. Woe unto them who call evil good, and good evil, etc. Thou condemnest Gods ways, and justifiest thy own ways. Let men walk in the ways ●o get wealth, or pleasure, or carnal profit, or worldly honour, or run apace in the high road ●o hell: These ungodly persons before spoken of will not dishearten them, but rather encourage them by keeping company with them; but let any men or women whose hearts God hath warmed with zeal for his glory, and tender love to such poor souls as are under them, let them but lend them a little finger to guide them, or but a small spark of light to conduct them by in the way to heaven, than they are in their Bedlam-fits, not knowing how to contain themselves within the bounds of civility. But these men have either never learned, or soon forgotten that place of our Saviour, The Kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force, Mat. 11.12. and other places, Luk. 13.24, Heb. 12.14. Luk. 11.52. Such opposite spirited men and women as these will by no means endure that any Child or Friend of theirs shall come within the walls of a godly Family to live in, for fear they should become Puritan, (as they call them;) but to conclude this Point, or Use, let me tell them, that without abundance of repentance for, and reformation of this sin they shall have as large a share (if not more) of those inconceivable miseries which are imperfectly mentioned in the use of reproof and terror, as the portion of such as do any way neglect the performance of those duties they own unto Children and Servants, and it may be they shall have a larger share than the others, because for aught can be known such scoffing ishmael's as these have been a special cause of hindering many from the performance of their duties to their Family-relations which otherwise would have set themselves to the discharge of those duties.  
The use in the last place may be for exhortation, Use 4 to stir up Christian Parents and Masters, First, to labour to be well acquainted with those duties which they own unto their Children and Servants: And then to set themselves with much diligence, pains, and care to the performance of them. The duties have been laid down, and fully demonstrated from divers Scriptures; there hath been some Illustrations, and Amplifications of them, and divers undeniable reasons to urge the performance of them. Now what shall I say? This pains as in order to thee is lost if thou sit still and come not forth to the performance of them. When David had made a large preparation for building the House of God in Jerusalem, having got together abundance of materials for that Magnificent Work, what saith he to his Son Solomon? Arise (saith he) therefore and be doing, and the Lord be with thee, 1 Chro. 22.16. Now (if without offence) I might allude to to this, I may say, I have endeavoured as God hath graciously enabled me to prepare in some poor measure some materials to help thee to ●uild God a temple (or Church) in his own Family, (unto which I desire thou mayest add in thy retired Meditations.) Now I also say to thee arise, and be doing, and the Lord be with ●hee. Thou wilt say, thou art a poor weak creature, thy knowledge is little, and thy parts ●re small; let me advise thee to gain good forms of Catechism, be studious in them, be diligent to improve them for the good of all under thee; by this means, (if thou be conscientious indeed, and seek to approve thyself to God in thy discharge of these duties, and abundantly desirest to yield furtherance to the souls of thy Wife, Children and Servants,) By this means, I say, thou shalt find, that in teaching others thy own knowledge shall increase, and thou hast a promise from the mouth of Christ for this, that to him that hath more shall be given, and he shall have in abundance, Mat, 13.12. We have a good proverb applicable here, that is, Use legs and have legs; and thou sayest thy parts are weak; if thou canst not pray with thy Family but in a very weak manner, than I say, pray to God to teach thee to pray, pray in secret for both the spirit and gift of prayer, that thou mayest be able to Perform it in thy Family; but beware thou set not too high a rate on the gift of prayer, for it often goes alone without the Spirit; thou wert better of the two have the Spirit of Prayer than the gift, but both together doth best, (especially in relation to edifying others.) Simon Magus desired to purchase a power to give the Holy Ghost to whom he pleased, his ends were base, as well as his tender vile; he did aim (as good Divines think) at popular applause, besides a cursed gain. Truly, I much fear popular applause, and vain ostentation is too too much the aim of some in our Times; where I see a gift of prayer, (yea, and of preaching too) and a spirit of predominant pride, I must take the liberty to think of such a man as I do apprehend clear ground for. This last passage I do insert for this end principally, to take off the inordinate affections of any poor soul from the gift of prayer; sincerity in all thy walkings with God will comfort thee in the midst of all defects; and what knowest thou (dear Christian) but God will join his strength with thy weakness, and make thee an instrument of begetting souls to God as well as bodies, and so make thee (in a sense) a spiritual Father as well as a bodily, and enable thee at the last day to say to God, Behold here am I, and the Children whom thou hast given me; where we may allude to that which the Apostle applies and makes proper to Christ, Heb. 2.13. Now in the last place, (for it deserves no other) by thy religious care to further thy Children and Servants in the ways of God thou mayest make such Children and Servants very profitable to thee in outward respects. Paul takes notice that Onesimus was no profitable servant to his Master when he was graceless, but after he was converted he tells Philemon that now he was profitable, Phil. 11. There is much crying out in the world (and not without cause) against stubborn, disobedient, and undutiful Children; and against refractory, and unprofitable Servants; But may not the neglect of Parents and Masters about making their Children (in the use of means) God's Children, and their Servants by the foresaid means the servants of God; may not I say, this be a special cause of all this confusion; doubtless yea, for it is just with God that when thou wilt not make thy Children and Servants to answer God's ends, (at least so far as possible thou mayest) that thy own should be wholly frustrate. Thus much for the uses.  
Beloved, be pleased to remember that we have urged Parents and Masters to the performance of divers duties both to Children and Servants jointly together, but that those duties did relate to the good of their souls only; but now there remain some duties relating to their outward good; and because some of them have reference to Children particularly, in which Servants can make no claim: And some others do belong to Servants, (but I cannot say peculiarly, because Children have an interest in them,) we shall therefore endeavour to advance toward the handling of them likewise, (leaning on God for assistance;) In order whereunto we shall labour to give Children the precedency, for Grace and Nature doth teach the same.  

The 1 duty of Parents to their Children in outward respects.  The first duty which Parents own unto their Children, in relation to their outward Estate, is, to further them in the means for their attaining of a competent measure of Learning for such condition and state of life as God shall call them to, whether in Church or Commonwealth. An illiterate man can receive no content in himself, neither can he be profitable to others; a man without learning is like a man who hath but half an eye, he seethe divers things, but in a confused and rude form, even men walking like trees, like him in the Gospel, Mar. 8.24. but he that hath good eyes discerns things in a transparent way, to the great satisfaction of his mind; so a man without Learning sees things that have much beauty in themselves, but to him they are clothed and shadowed in dark and black colours, he sees nothing but an outside, whereas he who hath Learning seethe through and through them (as we say;) he hath a distinguishing knowledge of them, he can anatomize them, and dive into the nature of them, he can gain by every Creature, and squeeze out the quintiscence and benefit of every Calling; he can improve all times, all changes, and all things to his advantage. Secondly, a man without learning cannot be profitable to others, such a man is like a stone that is digged out of the quarry and not squared, nor any way fitted for the building, fit for nothing but to be laid by and overlooked, or to use in common employment, no way qualified for public service; but a man of Learning is like a stone squared, polished, and carved, that is very useful for the choicest building; such a man (especially if he be of good life,) is principled and in a choice capacity for the highest employments in Church and State; take a few instances, what Moses was for learning, see Acts 7.22. And what he was in public service the Scriptures will demonstrate, for under God he was the most eminent deliverer of the Church from a state of bondage and slavery that any Age since the Creation can produce, and therefore is said to be King in Jesurun when the heads of the people, and Tribes of Israel were gathered together, Deut. 33.5. It is said of Daniel, and the other three Children, that God gave them knowledge and skill in all Learning, Dan. 1.17. Then in vers. 19 they were preferred to stand before the King; and in Chap. 2 48, 49. they were put into the highest places for command in the whole Province of Babylon. So Paul of all the Apostles was the most learned man, being brought up at the feet of Gamaliel: which was a place of learning, Acts 22.3. And all men know he was the most eminent amongst them for parts and pains, and himself doth modestly confess that he was not a whit behind the very chiefest Apostles, 2 Cor. 11.5. and for pains he did outstrip them all, for he wrote more Epistles to the Churches than all the other, and shown more Rhetoric in that short Epistle of his to Philemon than you shall meet with in large Volumes. Truly, he had greater gifts than they who boast of the spirit, (but what spirit they are led by is not hard to guess at;) and yet he prizeth his books as well as his Parchments (which Parchments were as some conceive some sermon Notes,) 2 Tim. 4.13. But if it be objected that it is not of necessity to give Children more learning than the Calling which they are like to be put into doth require; nor secondly, to give them more learning than their Parent's estate can bear; I answer, it is true, there is no necessity for Children to have much Learning to help them in managing some mean and common Callings, but it is necessary in any Calling to be able to read in their mother-tongue (as we say) and to write to, but had they more it would be no burden to them; it might fit them for society and choice discourse with those of higher breeding than themselves, for in persons of the greatest parts there would be some condescension to those less parted. And also true it is Parents are not tied to ruin themselves, nor any of their Children, to breed up others great Scholars, And yet I could hearty wish that Parents would strive to give their Children good breeding this way, though it should be their greatest outward portions. I have been the larger in this particular, because it may be observed frequently that there are some who are very rich men, but yet so glued to their cursed earthly-mindedness that they will spare nothing (or very little) to give their Children learning; they may leave them good estates whereby they may wear good , but all that know them may point at them, and say, they are the arrantest clowns, and meanest bred fellows in, or near, the places where they dwell; It was falsely said of Paul that much learning did make him mad, Act 126.24. But it may be truly said that such persons as we speak of, for want of Learning they are the unusefullest persons of any to be Instrumental for the good of Church or Commonwealth, and their Parents deserve the least respect of all others in the places where they live. And therefore thou who art a Parent mind it, that it is thy duty in a special manner to thy Children to vouchsafe them the means of Learning, and be careful to discharge thy duty herein.  

The second duty Parents own unto their Children for their outward estate.  Secondly, it is the duty of Parents to provide for their Children some honest Callings, either in Church or Commonwealth, wherein they may both do, and receive good, that by them God may have glory, and others benefit, and themselves comfort, for all persons of what quality or condition soever, must eat their bread in the sweat of their own brows, for this is the Ordinance of God himself, and so indispensable with, Gen. 3.19. Yet this must be granted, that there is the labour of the mind as well as the labour of the body; and such as labour with the head and heart may be as truly said to eat their bread in the sweat of their faces, as they that strike many a heavy blow, or groan under many a ponderous burden; so that one way or other every one must be exercised in a lawful Calling. David was a Shepherd to look to Sheep, before the shepherd over the house of Israel, Psal. 78.70.71. Peter and Andrew, and other of the Apostles were fishermen. Mark. 1.16.19. before fishers of men, Paul was a Tentmaker, Acts 18.1, 2, 3. Joseph the husband of Mary was a Carpenter, Mat. 13.54, 55. And it is somewhat probable that our Saviour himself, before he entered into his Ministerial Office, did work at his Father's Trade, Mark. 6.3. You see then that there is a command from God, that all persons must have honest Callings. Secondly, here are precedents enough to make it clear from all exceptions. And therefore it is the duty of Parents to labour to provide for their Children honest and lawful Callings; but in your endeavours this way let me advise you to take care of three things: First, Be careful to gain for them such Masters as fear the Lord, for else thou mayest fear that all thy pains thou hast taken with them for the good of their souls may be lost. Secondly, Be careful to put them to such Callings as they are most capable of. Some Histories report, that the Jews before they would put their Children to any Calling, would first bring them into a large Room (which they did furnish with all Artificers tools) and if there they did take up any tool and seem to take delight therein, they would put them to that Calling unto which the same did belong. Thirdly and lastly, thou must take care to put them to such Callings as require no more stock of money to manage them than thou art like to leave to them, for else when their Time is out they can make no benefit by their Trades, unless they remain in a state of servitude by working under others. The Apostle saith, Art thou called a Servant, care not for it, (that is, be not dejected therefore) but if thou mayst be free, use it rather, 1 Cor. 7.21. And then in the 23. verse he adds, Ye are bought with a price, be not servants of men. Therefore thou that art a Parent, let thy care be such for thy children, that thou make them servants to others but for a convenient time, that after they may live in a free and honourable way.  

The third duty Parents own unto their Children for their outward estate.  The third Duty Parents own unto their Children, is, to labour to provide them fit Marriages, in seasonable time: And for this, we have first a word of Command from God. Secondly command from Christian Parents. In Jeremiah 29.6. God requires his People to take Wives for their Sons, and to give their Daughters in Marriage, Thirdly, for examples mind the practice of of Abraham (before made use of) Gen. 24.3.4. Consider the practice of Isaac, and Rebecca his wife, for Jacob, in Gen. 27.46. And then in the first verse of the next Chapter, the carriage of Naomi for Ruth is a singular example; Shall I not seek rest for thee (saith she) that it may be well with thee? (which was a Husband, as doth after appear,) Ruth 3.1. By which Scriptures it doth appear clearly, to be the duty of Parents in seasonable time to labour to provide Marriages for their Children. Now there are some symptoms of this seasonable time, whereof I shall name, and only name four. First, fullness and maturity of body. Secondly, solidity of understanding. Thirdly, their Constitutions: And lastly, the seeming delight they take in keeping company with the contrary sex. This shall suffice, for this third duty, of Parents to their Children.  
The fourth and last duty Parents own unto their Children in relation to their outward condition, is to provide for them, 
The fourth duty of Parents to their Children in outward respects.  and to bestow on them competent maintenance, (if not more.) Jacob will travail for his own house, Gen. 30.30. Prov. 13.22. A good man leaveth an inheritance to his Children, but the eldest Son must have the double portion. Deut. 21.16, 17. unless he disinherit himself by any profaneness, as Esau, Heb. 12.16. And this maintenance, must be bestowed on them in seasonable time, not too soon, as the Father of the Prodigal Son did, Luke 15.12. but when they have necessary occasion to use it; as when with their parent's consent they shall begin to look out for themselves in worthy employments, though before Marriage: But especially at the time of marriage▪ such are sordid Parents that will part with nothing till death, they do much discourage their children, and provoke them to wrath; against the Apostles Injunction, Ephes. 6.4. These are Persons without natural affection, and to be hist at, as they go. Here than you see Parents must perform four Duties to their Children, in relation to their outward condition. First, to bring them up to learning. Secondly, to provide for them honest and lawful Callings. Thirdly, to labour to further them in the change of their conditions by marriage: And fourthly, and lastly, to make provision for them by competent maintenance.  

The first outward duty that Masters own to their servants.  The next thing in order to what was first propounded, is, to consider what duties Governors of Families do owe unto their servants, for their outward comfortable subsistence. And,  
In the first place, it is the duty of Masters, etc. to provide for their servants wholesome, and well-conditioned Meat and Drink, in due time, and sufficient of that too: as also lodging and washing, and what else is necessary for to maintain life and livelihood. In order to which, the wife must take notice that the chief care of this, in reference to the distribution of it, and the well-ordering of all things herein, concerns herself. And therefore the Holy Ghost puts upon record the practice of the good Huswife in Proverbs 31.15. of whom it is said, That she riseth whilst it is yet Night, and giveth meat to her Household, and a portion unto her Maids: For doubtless the comfortable allowance of these things is one special means (by the blessing of God) to maintain health, and to make them able and strong in body, and cheerful in mind, to perform such service as is required of them. But if it please the Lord to visit them with sickness or lameness in body or limbs, and thereby to abate strength and vigour of body and spirit, than it is the duty of their Masters and Dames to look out in the use of means for their recovery, to make use both of Physicians and Physic, and all helps Providence may provide for comfort under affliction, and restoration to health again. Naaman a servant to the King of Syria, being afflicted by the Plague of Leprosy, his Master writes a letter in his behalf to the King of Israel, and sends it by the hand of Naaman, in order to the recovery of his health again, 2 Kings 5.5. The good Centurion we read of in Matth. 8.6, 8. when his servant was sick of the Palsy, and grievously tormented, he goes in person to Jesus Christ, (who was a Physician both for body and soul) and humbly beseecheth him for his servants cure, and through the free grace of Christ obtains it: its good to go to God in the first place for supplies of all the wants of ourselves and our relations;) He that is in misery ought to be comforted of his neighbour, (as it is in the Geneva Translation) Job 6.14. Now if Neighbours must put forth themselves to comfort (or relieve and help) such as are in any misery. How much more must Governors of Families labour to perform this duty to their sick and distempered servants, (the inference is undeniable) A good man is merciful to his beast, saith one Translation; And another saith, A righteous man regardeth the life of his Beast, Proverbs 12.10. And how much better is a man than a sheep? Mat. 12.12. But it is much to be bewailed, that many servants who have in their health and strength well discharged their duties to their Masters, yet find small comfort and regard from them when the hand of God is fallen upon them: for they are then either sent home to their poor and indigent Parents to take care after, or else mewed up in a hole, and small attendance, and less allowance of means for their good provided for them: such Governors of Families are cursed and hardhearted persons; and pity it is, that ever good servants should step over their Thresholds to serve them; for such have neither mercy nor justice in them, neither grace nor good nature: And yet of this stamp and hellbred crew, there are great swarms: but let them take heed, (God is just) their own children be not so served, when they are servants to others, but I wish them better speed. We might here add a Word concerning seasonable Recreations to be allowed to servants, for they may stand in great need of them sometimes, after long and sore labour, to quicken their spirits, and to enliven them with all alacrity to return to their employment, (we say, Whetstone is no let:) And without doubt, if Masters would grant it them, they would be rather gainers by in the quick and wel-managing their businesses, than losers. But when Masters grant this liberty as before said, I would advise them to take much care that the Recreations allowed, be lawful, the time seasonable, and their servants company civil, or else both Masters and servants may repent, the one that they gave the liberty: and the other that they so ill improved the same.  
In the second place, it is the duty of Masters, etc. 
The second outward duty that Masters own to their servants.  to allow their servants sufficient wages for their labour, and to pay it to them when it is due. If they have not sufficient wages they cannot maintain themselves for the preservation of health and decency, both which must be allowed, (nay, and more too, if their deserts challenge the same;) servants may spend thoughts of changing their estate; (we say, service is no heritage,) and must they make no preparation in order thereunto? That were absurd to think; would you that are Masters have your servants barely live? You would not like that if you would be pleased to put yourselves in their condition. But in the second place, it is the duty of Masters to pay their servants their wages in due time, and that is when it is due by the conditions of the Contract between you and them, Mal. 3.5. God threatens to be a swift witness against this particular sin of oppressing the hireling in his wages, (amongst other sins.) Now a man may be guilty of this sin as well in detaining due wages, in relation to time of payment of it, as in overreaching a servant in contract for it; turn to that place, Deut. 24.14, 15. Thou shalt not oppress an hired servant, at his day, thou shalt give him his hire, neither shall the sun go down upon it. The Labourer is worthy of his hire, Luk. 10.7. Master's give unto your servants that which is just and equal, Col. 4.1. James tells you, that the detaining wages from Labourers cryeth, and the cries of them are entered into the cares of the Lord of Sabbath, James 5.4. And surely when ever the Lord gives an ear to cries, whether the cry of Innocent blood, as that of Abel, Gen. 4.10. or any other occasion, some fearful vengeance doth fall upon the heads of such as cause them to ascend; and therefore the Apostle James bids those worldlings howl for those miseries that should come upon them. Now you that are Masters, etc. as you would keep off the curse prevent the cry.  

The third duty of Masters to their Servants.  In the third and last place, the duty of Masters, etc. to their servants, is, to be liberal to them at times of parting, in case they have been servants a considerable time, and have been diligent and faithful, and so a blessing to them, Deut. 15.12, 13, 14. So Prov. 17.2. There be many Masters who are strangers to this duty, even in the knowledge of it, and more in the practice thereof. Yet some (I dare not say in conscience to the performance of this duty, but rather from the freeness of their nature,) do upon the matter that which is equivalent hereunto, namely those, that if their servants part from them by Marriage will give them beneficial wedding dinners, and sometimes divers pieces of necessary householdstuff, which is a great advantage to them; and this is so laudable a thing that I could wish all would more practise the same, provided, they prevent all abusivenesse of the Creature by luxury, and excess, and disorder of every kind at such meetings. Thus you see that Governors of Families do owe three duties to their servants, in relation to their outward conditions. First, to allow unthem meat, drink, and all other necessaries for their comfortable subsistence. Secondly, to yield them sufficient wages. And lastly, to be liberal to them at time of parting.  
And thus by the gracious assistance of God we have finished all that was proposed at first to be considered of by such as desire to enter into the Marriage estate, relating to the duties which each person in that condition of life own one to another, and both of them to such as God shall set under them, viz. to children and servants. But here it will be of some concernment to take notice of what duty children and servants own unto Parents and Masters, that they may call upon them to perform the same; where we shall first observe the duties Children own unto their Parents, and then the duties of Servants to their Masters, etc.  
In the first place it is the duty of Children to yield unto their Parents all due Reverence and Honour; 
The first duty Children own unto their Parents.  this duty is expressly commanded by God in Exod. 20.12. Honour thy father and thy mother; which the Apostle, Eph. 6.2. takes notice of to be the first Commandment with promise, Mal. 6.6. A son honoureth his Father: If I be a Father where is my honour? But how should this Honour and Reverence be expressed may some say? I answer, first, in words; Secondly, in actions and gestures. First, in words, Children must reverence their Parents by using few words in their Parent's presence or hearing; Silence for the general well becomes the younger sort before the Elder, but more properly Children before their Parents. And when they speak to them they must make use of the choicest expression that may be to hold forth their dutiful respect by. And for their Action too, they must be full of Humility, as rising up before them, and standing in their presence if they expect it, being uncovered so long as they think fit, and making obeisance on all occasions, by showing all filial and Childlike dispositions to them, by harkening to all their grave Counsels and Admonitions with diligent attention, Prov. 1.8. Chap. 5.1. As also by submitting, and subjecting themselves to all their godly reprehensions, and by treading in their religious steps, and imitating their unblameable examples, and by covering all their imperfections and weaknesses, as Shem and Japhet did when their Father lay drunk and naked in his Tent. Solomon is a singular example of honouring his Mother in another kind, 1 Kings 2.19.  

The second duty of Children to their Parents.  In the second place, it is the duty of Children to obey their Parents in all things lawful, and that with all readiness. Children obey your Parents in the Lord, Eph. 6.1. Children obey your Parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord, Col 3.20. Now this must be a cheerful obedience without contending. Isaac will submit to his Father though it be in matter of death, Gen. 22 9, 10. And so will the Daughter of Jephtha, Judg. 11 39 The Rechabus obey Jonadab their Father in things that required a great deal of selfe-deniall, jer. 35.5, 6, 7. which the Lord rewards them for in ver. 18, 19 A Bishop must rule his own house well, and have his Children in subjection, 1 Tim. 3.4. Now subjection of all Children to Parents is as much a duty as it is in the children of the Ministers of the Gospel. And of this obedience unto Parents we have an example beyond all precedents in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, of whom it is said, he went down with his Parents to Nazareth and was subject to them, Luk. 2.51. Children must not make their own wills a rule of their actions, but the Commandments of God, and the Precepts of their Parents that are not contrary to the revealed will of God; they must also quietly submit to such correction as they shall think fit to inflict on them for their faults.  
In the third and last place it is the duty of Children to their Parents to labour to provide safety for them in the times of danger, 
The third duty of Children to their Parents.  and competent maintenance in their necessitous conditions to their utmost abilities; for the first, take a precedent from Rahab the Harlot, which is laid down at large in Josh. 2.12, 13. where she doth indent with the Spies (sent to view the land) to save her Father's house, and to preserve her Father, and her Mother, etc. And for the duty of Children to relieve their Parents in their want; consider what the Apostle saith in 1 Tim. 5.4. That to requite our Parents is good and acceptable before God. When Parents have been at great pains and charge to bring up their Children, and then come to poverty, (which perhaps may be occasioned by such charge.) it is not only against grace, but against good nature too, to cast them off without due care to relieve them; it was the pestilent doctrine of the Pharisees to maintain that Children were discharged from their duty herein, provided, they did offer a gift at the Altar (which was indeed but to fill their pouches,) Mar. 7.11, 12, 13. Which practice of theirs, as well as their doctrine, our Saviour there condemns. We may learn a better example from the practice of joseph when he was in prosperity, and his Father's house in want, Gen. 47.11, 12. For he nourished his Father and his whole Family in Ramases, which was the most fertile place of all Egypt. When Naomi returned very poor out of the Land of Moab into the Land of Israel, Ruth 1.21. than her Daughter in Law wrought hard, and took great pains to gain provision for her maintenance. God condemns the formal fasts of the Children of Israel, as for other things, so for this, that they did hid themselves from their own flesh, Isa. 58.6, 7. Now Parents may be more truly said to be our own flesh than others in common can be said to be; our Saviour in that place of Mark makes it one kind of honouring Parents to relieve them in their want; and to honour our Parents you have it proved before to be a duty from children. There be other duties which children own unto their Parents, but they may be included in these: If these be conscientiously performed they will be all discharged. The duties then which children own unto their Parents, which are obvious to your eye, are, first, to reverence them. Secondly, to obey them. Thirdly, to labour to preserve them from danger, and to maintain them in their wants.  
In the last place, we are to proceed to discuss the duties which servants own unto their Masters▪ etc. and then we shall draw to a conclusion of this poor Treatise, and so leave all upon your hearts to practice in your lives.  
The first duty that servants own unto their Masters, 
The first duty of servants to their Masters, etc.  is the same that children own to their Parents, that is, Honour and Reverence; this duty all Inferiors own to their Superiors, and therefore it must be a duty here; Now that it is so, consider the fore quoted place, Mal. 1.6. A son honoureth his Father, and a Servant his Master: If I be a Master (saith God) where is my fear, (or Reverence?) Implying that honour and reverence is a duty servants own to their Masters, and that they are obliged to the performance of it. That place in 1 Tim. 6.1. is much to be observed for this purpose, where the Apostle requires all servants that are under the yoke to count their own Masters worthy of all honour, and then adds a reason for the same, which is this, That the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed; Then it is very clear that such servants as make no conscience to perform this duty of giving honour to their Masters do expose the name and word of eternal God to contempt, and to be blasphemed; and how shall such servants ever be able to answer for this sin of theirs before the great and all-powerfull God, who is always armed with divine vengeance to be poured down upon the heads and hearts of such as are offenders in this kind; and such are all servants that discharge not the duty here mentioned. Now if servants would know how, and in what way this duty should be performed, for their help therein I refer them to those means briefly nominated for direction to children in the performance of this very duty to their Parents; and by the way it is worth observing, that in a real and true sense it may be said, and proved, that Masters, etc. are Parents to then servants as well as to their children, yet with a great deal of difference.  
In the second place it is the duty of servants to be obedient unto their Manners, etc. This duty hath some affinity with the former, for if servants do not readily obey their Masters they cannot honour them, they rather vilify them, and expose them to contempt and disgrace; there are many Scripture texts that offer themselves to confirm this truth: Servants be obedient to your Masters according to the flesh, Eph. 6.5. Servants obey in all things your Masters according to the flesh, Col 3.22. Exhort servants (saith Paul) to be obedient to their Masters in all things, not answering again, Tit. 2.9. The Apostle Peter doth further press this duty, Servants (saith he) be subject to your Masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward, 1 Pet. 2.18. From all these places you may see this duty hath the Word of God for its foundation. The Centurion which we read of in the Gospel had choice servants for their readiness to obey him, for he tells Christ, that if he bid one go, he went, and if another come, he came, and if he bid his servant do this, he did it; we must not doubt of the truth of what he said, though he spoke those things to illustrate and set forth the power of Christ over all sicknesses and all things; for he doth acknowledge that that sickness that had arrested his servant was the servant of Christ, & that as it did afflict his servant when Christ commanded it so to do, so it must leave his servant and departed when Christ should require the same, Mat 8.8 9 It were much to be wished that every Master had such a servant, or such servants as this Centurion had, there would be more quietness in Families, and better success in all their employments than now there is. But many servants in our times will go and come at their own pleasures, and do what is good in their own eyes: Their Masters must be subject to them, and not they to their Masters; but such servants will be the greatest losers at last; Mark what the Apostle saith. Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves, for they watch for your souls as they that must give an account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief, for that is unprofitable to you, Heb. 13.17. which is an exhortation in general, yet it concerns servants in special. Servants must not do any thing contrary to their Master's minds, though they give no particular command to the contrary. Elisha did not command his servant Gehazi not to go after Naaman to receive a gratuity, yet he went and did receive a Talon of Silver and two changes of raiment of him; but he could not crack of his profit (as we say) for he had the plague of Leprosy with them into the bargain, 2 Kings 5.20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27. Can any man with any show of reason conceive that this example of disobedience in Gehazi to his Master, and of the severe hand of God on him for it doth stand upon Record for nothing; Whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, Rom. 15.4. And this was written to terrify rebellious and disobedient servants, whereof the world is full, but gracious servants will learn and practice better.  

The third duty of servants to their Masters.  In the third and last place it is the duty of servants to their Masters to show all diligence, fidelity, and faithfulness in the discharging their businesses, and answering the trust committed to them, and that as in the presence of God. When the Apostle in that place of Eph. 7.5, 9 (which we made use of before.) had exhorted servants to be obedient to their Masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling in singleness of heart as to Christ; he adds, Not with eye-service as men pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, the very same you find in Col. 3.22. In Tit. 2.9, 10. Exhort servants (saith the Apostle) to be obedient to their Masters, not purloining, but showing all good fidelity, that they may adorn the doctrine of God. When servants serve their Masters not with eye-service, but with all faithfulness and singleness of heart with a good conscience, they also serve Jesus Christ who will plentifully recompense the same, either in temporal, or spiritual blessings, or in both; he is a blessed servant who obeys his Master's commands chief in relation to God's injunctions; such a one (not doubt) was the servant of Abraham, and Jacob to his Father Laban, and Joseph to Potiphar, and after to the keeper of the prison, Gen. 30.27. Chap. 39.3, ult. There be divers ways and means by which servants must show themselves faithful to their Masters and Dames; First, by praying for them. Secondly, by being diligent in the dispatch of their business. Thirdly, by preserving their Estates, and in helping to increase them. Fourthly, by labouring to protect their persons from violence to their power. And fifthly, by labouring to preserve their reputations, in order whereunto they must keep their secrets undisclosed, and their infirmities from being published. But such servants as walk in ways contrary hereunto, it were incomparably better for a Christian Housholder to have them out than in his Family; and indeed it were far better that such servants should lie under the cudgel of a Turkish patron than set their feet under an honest man's Table. Thus we have with much brevity passed through the duties which servants own unto their Masters and Dames; First, they must labour to honour them. Secondly, they must submit to them, and obey them. Thirdly and lastly, they must show all diligence, fidelity, and faithfulness to them, in doing their business, and in answering the trust committed to them.  
Now to come to a full period of all, and conclude, we shall endeavour to make some application of that which hath been before laid down by way of duty.  
Use 1 In the first place this may serve for just reproof to most men in our times, who do thrust themselves into the honourable Estate of Marriage without any consideration at all, as if it were an estate fit for every man that will to enter into. Truly, I do exceedingly like those sweet expressions in the Preface to the ancient Form of Marriage in the Church of England, where having affirmed the Estate of Marriage to be honourable among all men (which indeed it is) the words following contain an Admonition, and run thus; Therefore is not to be enterprised, (that is Marriage) nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute Beasts that have no understanding, but Reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained, etc. such rash, inconsiderate, heady and unadvised persons as these never labour to see themselves to have a clear Call to change their conditions by entering into the Marriage estate. They desire no spiritual gifts to enable them to perform spiritual duties. They look not upon any qualifications in the party they desire to enjoy in such a condition, provided, there be person and beauty to satisfy their brutish lusts; and money to please their covetous humour, they will marry their hearts and souls to a bag of silver or gold; these answer the Proverb, What hath she, what is she; and so they make money to answer all things. As Solomon speaks, yet to other ends, Eccl. 10.19 And as for the way and means which God hath sanctified and appointed for men to walk in, and make use of to obtain good wives, and meet helpers, they will not set one foot in them; they will not go to God by prayer for direction this way, and for success herein; they scarce know what God is; and for the duty of Prayer, they know not so much as the A B C of it; and as for Parents consent they regard not that, all they desire is to inveigle maids to love them, and enchant their foolish affections to answer their unreasonable desires; let Parents consent or not consent what care they (but for some sinister ends, for portion sake, or to attain preferment by their favour.) There is an impure generation, who have overspread the Nation, (yea, and many other parts too,) like the Locusts in Egypt, Exod. 10.14. who purposely do invent obscene, lascivious, scurrilous, and filthy songs and Ballads, on purpose to pollute and poison young Virgins and Maids with carnal, fleshly, and abominable lusts, that so they may bring them over to themselves for unclean dalliance at present, and then make them yield to their hellish Motions, and run point blank against the consent of their Parents to bestow themselves on them; but poor Creatures, when they think they are good wives, they are but filthy Whores, so long as Parent's consent is not obtained, by means whereof the Commonwealth is filled with abundance of Whores Bastards, by which means also it comes to pass that Towns and Parishes are so overcharged with poor that there can scarce be an able Family there. And where be they who labour to inform themselves in the duties which married persons are called to perform each to other, and both to their Families? And these duties to mind (as I have said) before Marriage, that afterward they might practise them? Truly, this is the condition of multitudes of Men and Women now conjoined together (after their way) in Marriage, by reason whereof the Land is full of ignorant and extremely profane Families; by this means it is come to pass that the power of Godliness is slighted; here is the cause why Sabbaths are profaned; this is the cause why faithful Ministers are the scorn of this Age; this is the cause of so much Whoredom, Drunkenness. Lying, Cheating, Over-reaching, and what not amongst us; Ah, you poor souls who have contracted Marriage before you were called to it, and have so wickedly entered into, and lived in it, all the sins , and also what sins else can be named, must like so many illegitimate children, be brought and laid at your door, and you must be Fathers and Mothers to them. Never look to prosper (in your souls especially) until you labour to remove the guilt by repentance and tears of godly Compunction, and until thou reform, for which end be careful to be informed in the duties thou art called to perform in the state of Marriage, and then set about the discharge of them as in the presence of God; labour to redeem lost time by double diligence in the well improving the future, and so God may yet be gracious to you and yours, and make you blessings both to Church and Commonwealth.  
In the last place it may serve for instruction. Use 2 First, unto the unmarried; And secondly, to those in the Married condition. First, let me direct myself to you that are in the single Estate, but yet mind a change of that life of yours as opportunity shall serve you to accomplish your desires; Dost thou then desire (I say) to change thy condition (as beforesaid) and wouldst thou feign enjoy a meet helper in all conditions God shall put thee into, whether prosperity or adversity? Then let me exhort thee (and be thou exhorted) in the name and fear of God to see God going before thee by a clear Call to enterprise so great a business, even, in fitting thee for the same, as hath been before laid down; and in particular labour to get an humble spirit, and an understanding heart to discharge all duties to every relation that God shall set under thee, and that for their good both of body and soul, that thou mayest be a blessing to them, and they under God a comfort to thee; labour to propound to thyself lawful ends in that thy undertaking, and be sure walk in warrantable ways, and use godly and lawful means to carry on thy desires by; and amongst those means set down for thy direction, mind well (in a way of practice) the going to God by Prayer; then use double care and diligence to meet with one for thy companion who is of a gracious frame both of heart and life, so far as possibly can be discerned. And for those other qualifications , be so far from slighting them, that rather on the contrary be unsatisfied in thy thoughts if thou find any one of them wanting: Yet not so unsatisfied as to divert thy affections from such a party, because some one of them are undiscerned, and perhaps some others a little defective; but if the maine be there, then in the name and fear of the great God proceed gradually to put a period to all thy cares, pains, and endeavours that way, and now being married, if thou wouldst have God say amen to all those joys thy friends and acquaintance wish thee, then set thyself the work that lieth before thee, namely, thy godly and Christianlike discharging of all the duty that estate calls for from thee, which brings me to the second thing proposed in this Use, that is, to speak a word or two of Instruction to those in the Marriage condition. It is a true saying, that Marriage is either Merry-age, or Mar-age: But if thou wouldst have it to thee Merry-age, and not Mar-age, than now labour to walk with God in the conscientious discharge of all the duties that the same estate ties thee to. Art thou a Husband? Labour to perform thy duties to thy Wife. Art thou a Wife? Labour to discharge all those duties thou owest to thy Husband; and both of you neglect not any of your duties you are obliged to discharge to your Children and Servants. And it also concerns you to take care to see that your Children, etc. perform their duties to you; which duties of all kinds you must mind, and be informed in, because hereby (as you have heard) God is glorified, and both Church and State furthered in tranquillity and happiness; for by this means (as before expressed) you shall prevent a whole Catalogue of grievous sins from being perpetrated; And so shall save the Ministers of God a great deal of pains, ease their Loins, and preserve their Lungs; And prevent a great deal of trouble to all truly godly Magistrates, who dare not bear the sword in vain, who had rather praise you and all others when they see you do that which is good than otherwise to be a terror to you. Beloved, these are times looked upon by many as times of Reformation; (And truly, I look upon them as calling for much in that kind.) But let me tell you, that let Ministers do their duties, and Magistrates perform theirs, yet if Governors of Families be remiss in the discharge of what concerns them in their relations in their little Churches, and private Commonwealths, all will come to nothing. I profess the well instructing and right governing of Families is the eye of the work; I could wish with my soul that such as have power to make and constitute Laws would lay a very considerable Mulct upon all Governors of Families that neglect their duties to their Children and Servants to instruct and reform them; and that the same might not only extend to their purses, but to their persons too. You have heard before that by this means souls are sent to hell by multitudes; such evil persons as these are, what are they but the devil's Factors? and their sin and punishment one day (without repentance) will find them out; but most sad of all men is the condition of such (as even out of conscience (as they pretend) cast off the care of the souls of such as are under their charge; they say, and plead hard for it, that none ought to be restrained from sin by use of means, all Ordinances public and private must be laid aside, nay, cast off with scorn and disdain; and men and women, they say, must wait for revelations from heaven; sure they have had revelations from hell for their direction herein, but from heaven they shall never have any, unless it be in the demonstration of the wrath of God if they persist impenitently; and for Family discipline there must be none, let their Children Swear, Lie, profane the Sabbaths, or run in any vile way, (provided they call not their Parents and Masters vile Heretics, and abominable Schismatics, and offer to prove them such from the Word of God,) all is well; for they say, they can put no grace into their hearts, but God will (if they belong to him) in due time. Oh what tongue can tell, or what heart can think what will be the portion of these men without Gods infinite mercy in converting and reforming them. Truly, contrary to intention, when we first entered upon this Use, we have made this digression, it should have been a part of the other Use, but being then omitted I was loath to let it wholly pass. You may be pleased to remember, that but even now I told you that were Governors of Families, that if you did conscientiously discharge the duties which you own, etc. you might hereby glorify God, and the tranquillity both of Church and Commonwealth would hereby be furthered, etc. So in the last place, from hence you may conclude, (that as you glorify God by this means, and do good unto his poor Church on Earth by the increasing and purging the members thereof,) that through the Lords free Grace in Christ you are Members of the Church of Christ here Militant, and shall be of the Church Triumphant in the highest Heavens, There to enjoy the fullness of happiness at the right hand of Christ, and all glorious and blessed Union and Communion with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost, and with innumerable and blessed Angels and Saints, even the souls of just men made perfect, even for ever and ever. O my soul praise thou the Lord; praise ye the Lord.  
FINIS.   

Christian Friend, By reason of the Authors living, far from London, and also his urgent Employments hindering him that he could not attend the Press there hath some faults escaped, and are here inserted in this ensuing Errata, which thou mayest be bleased to mend with thy Pen, etc.  
In the Paternal Advice in p. 21. l. 11. f. groans r. grave. In the Epistle Dedicator. p. 2. l. 22. f. and r. for. l. 28. r. as upon.  
Page 2 line 29 for a, read the. p. 11 l. 32 & 33 f. poverty r. penury. the same l. f. destruction r. distraction. p. 12. l. 21. f. with r. into. p. 24 l. 26 put a period at expected. p. 28 l. 18 f. these r. those. p. 36 l. 31 f. prove r. approve. p. 37 l. 11 f. churlish r. a churlish. l. 25 r. as ●. p. 38 l. 8 f. stone r. a stone. p. 39 l. 7 r. be too nice. p. 45 l. 1 f. spiritual r. special. p. 46 l 9 f. unhandsome r. unwholesome. p. 50 l. 15 f. over r. even. p. 51 l. 6 r. a muckworme. l. 15 f. Hos. r. Hest. p. 93 l. 1 f. unto r. in. p. 95 l. 13 deal no. l. 15 deal the. p. 108 l. 14 f. concerned r. concerneth. l. 32 f. doth r. should. p. 141 l. 10 f. duty r. Deity. p. 143 l. 27 f. his r. thy. p. 152 l. 16 f. command r. examples. l. 19 f. thirdly r. secondly. p. 164 l. 6 r. the eternal. p. 169 l. 19 r. not what is she. p. 173 l. 6 r. to the. p. 174 l. 17 f. eye r. Key.