THE Six days Adventure, OR THE NEW UTOPIA.  
A Comedy, As it is Acted at his Royal Highness the Duke of York's THEATRE.  
LONDON, Printed for Tho. Dring at the White Lion in Fleetstreet, over against the Inner- Temple-Gate, 1671.   

The Preface of the Author.  
IF wit of this kind did always depend on success, there were little to be said (especially in this age) to justify the best of the ancient, or modern Poesy, the latter of which though short of competition with our former Dramatic Poets, who brought the stage to such a non ultra of design and wit, that it might have been in some sort their several Glories to have said according to that Poetical boast of Ovid— Jamque opus exegi. And from whom the English Stage alone has given the world, (whatsoever can be objected to the contrary) the best Dramatic Rules, and Plays together. Notwithstanding which, such is the disingenuous Humour, or ignorance of the Age we live in, that not only the most deserving of these come to be unfrequented, and slighted by their Auditors, but likewise some few of our modern, that can so far Justify themselves as to be Imitators of their virtues; and in stead of them obscene, ridiculous and indigested Plays, have their numerous Audiences; as if it were their due to receive a superior allowance, though they deserve not the name of good foils, to set off the beauties of the other; nor can it be denied, that wit (like other most remarkable things) has not generally past its Epochoreca, so that we may compute its renown rather backward than forward, a treasure that cannot be entailed on posterity, who are observable enough, (especially now a days) to be rather beholding to the abilities of former writers, than able to oblige the world out of their store again. And it is some wonder that such who can pretend to so little of invention and wit, are favourably allowed to be Authors; and like Bankrupts (though breaking their credit with the world) are permitted to set up still; but if this be the good fortune of any, such as conceive themselves to have any title to desert, have the least cause to Repine, no more than to observe the common ingratitudes of fortune, which does seldom place merit on her right hand; nor is it otherwise to be expected, whilst her greatest Patrons are the most depraved, and ignorant of men: and I will presume to say that there was so much good fortune in the fate of this Play, to receive its condemnation from such, who wanted either capacity to receive it, or at least were resolved to join in a confederacy to oppose that esteem, which the more just and knowing might have probably allowed it, either being conscious, that it was better than they were willing it should be thought, or at least not inferior to what the most celebrated amongst them could produce on the Stage; which consideration did perhaps industriously occasion the disturbance of the Actors in the Representation of this Play, as also the audience in the hearing of it, who could not with any quiet give their attention to the Action, and they had their end; for after this was done, the 2d day, there were few of the sober spectators who would venture that disrespect to themselves to see it often. If there were any persons of quality who did submit to so mean a compliance, as to abet or partake with so ungenerous a carriage, we will spare them the concern of reading themselves here, of whom it may be said as Juvenal, did of some degenerate in his time, Qui Curios simulant, & Bacchanalia vivunt.  
But that which was said to sharpen the sting of this malice, was the undertaking concerning this Play, because in that there might be some pecuniary loss to add to this triumph. To which it may be answered, that if the adventure were imprudent (and possibly there may be as little reason to hazard money on the success of wit as on any thing whatsoever) the carriage of such as opposed its reception was a far greater extravagancy and folly. And he must distrust his abilities very much (considering some Plays which have had success) if he thinks his own not worth hazarding his money as well as credit; as on the other side, there are some who would make such a monopoly of their wit, that it is their endeavour none may sell but theirs: though he may be a greater fool that writes ill and loses nothing by it, than he that values himself so far as to adventure on what he conceives merits an esteem. The truth is, not a few of our new Writers have scaped much better, because their works have not been thought worthy of emulation, though in the apprehension of the Judicious, they have suffered enough without other loss than the forfeit of their understandings: and I doubt not (in this extravagant, if not ridiculous Age of censure) a Poet may be condemned and yet no delinquent to Parnassus. 'Tis true it lies much within the power of such men, who have any reasonable allowance of judgement to condemn the works of others, but on the other side it deserves some admiration, that those who are but pretenders to it, and who rather keep up a Cabal, or faction of judging, than of abilities fit to sway others, yet notwithstanding it should lie in their power to suppress the esteem of any; insomuch that an ingenious man might scorn, or at least blush, in behalf of that brow, that should wear a leaf of Laurel from the favour of these, who like undergraduates in the Schools of the Muses, are too inconsiderable to give Authority to Poesy; wherefore the Author of this play may with modesty enough slight the malevolent carriage, as well as impotent censure of those, who biased by prejudice, effected that injury which was given it in the Representation, and he doubts not it will be his sufficient vindication to all impartial, that he now commits it to their perusing in print, who could not receive that satisfaction in seeing it, (by reason of the interruption already mentioned) as he hopes they may by a judicious reading; which had he not cause to believe, he should have been far from presenting that publicly, which could with justice have been nauseated before; it being no less than a double folly, as well as offence, to occasion a second condemnation.  
Besides, it could not be other than imperfectly performed by the Actors, who finding the Play abusively treated, were apt enough to neglect that diligence required to their parts, (as I doubt not it was observed by many) there being little respect given by them to wit, (let it be never so deserving) if they find it be not so far successful, as to be beneficial to themselves. In this somewhat resembling the Judgement of the Turks, who hold nothing good but what is fortunate; but as this providence is not always likely to accompany wit, so the Actors may be allowed to esteem such Plays that get them most, though it be little credit to their judgements or their Playing, if the latter were not in some kind suitable to that wit, which has rather the good fortune to be received than good in itself.  
The humour of the age is so much inclined to favour low, and farcelike Mimikry, together with common place wit, (not less undervaluing the Stage than the other) frequently observed from discourse in Taverns, French-houses, Coffeehouses, together with the loose and debauched carriages of men and women put together, not considering that the wit and beauty of Poesy consist rather in manners feigned than in such of vulgar observation amongst men, that this Comedy, the humours of which are more remote and Satirical, could not in reason meet with an applause equal to the former; which though I take to be in some part its commendation, I shall not so far justify it, as not to give the Reader necessary satisfaction in what he may misconceive from the report or misapprehension of others. In order to which before I speak of the parts against which I can gather any objection lies, I will say something of the design, (which is the foundation of a Play) the deficiency whereof doth render all Dramatic compositions neither profitable, nor pleasant, like a structure that is raised upon an unsound foundation, & though there be never so many supporters applied of wit to keep it from falling, it will be observed so leaning, and tottering, that it cannot be worthy of the Architecture of the Muses, who are too much the Daughters of Science to admit incongruity and error in their works.  
And as to the contrivance of this Play, that it was new, its greatest adversaries will not, I suppose, deny, (I wish they could say as much in behalf of Plays they most esteem;) that it was not improper, I shall as easily manifest: For what can be objected against my introducing the several commonwealths of men, and women, grounded on supposed custom, by affirming it to be novel, and consequently unalowable, the objection is not at all solid, because it is not more impossible that such a manner of rule might be practised, than that there were Amazons in one or more parts of the world, (if we will believe Authors) who had a supremacy over men, obtained by force of law or power, or at some time or other conferred on their ambition by a prevalent indulgence to that sex; or that some Countries at this day admit of Queens as well as Kings, and perhaps it is more the authority of usage and manners, than the law of nature, which does generally incapacitate the Rule of women, there being not seldom to be found as great abilities in them (allowing for the disadvantage they have in not being suitably educated to letters,) as are to be observed in men of greatest comprehensions. But this is suggested not disputed here: their characters in this Play being rather made use of to confirm the judgement and practice of the world in rendering them more properly the weaker Sex, than to authorise their government; though the ambition of that Sex, as likewise the value they are apt enough to allow themselves, may call it a severe policy; but women have small reason to complain, if for their greater honour their beauty, and other attractions give them not seldom such a superintendent esteem that they command in many respects without being obliged to power and law, no less absolutely than men. But enough of this particular.  
For the Characters of this Play, I find those of Foppering and Peacock occasioned some scrupulous, or inconsiderate spectators to make more than needful objections against them; not but I conceive that there are few characters in the most approved Plays, which keep so strict a decorum with nature and reason, as that there cannot be observed any incongruities in them. Wherefore I shall not so far undertake their vindication, but rather show how they were usefully to have been received in order to what was to be expressed by them.  
And first for Foppering; in whose Character the reader will observe a Satire against liars heightened by several degrees of traducing of truth; not that every common Liar keeps that road, or goes so high as the Moon for Fables, which had not been necessary in his case strictly to resemble, because it being satirically intended against this exorbitancy in men, it might be allowed to be more bold with truth than they usually are, by reason the higher in that case a Character is raised, it is more comprehensive of whatsoever can fall under that notion; as we see in his, which doth not only correct vulgar lying, but by an extravagancy of humour ascends to Astronomers, whose faults could not have otherwise been touched; as is instanced in their erroneous computations of the motions of the Moon well known to the learned.  
The like may be said of the part of Peacock, whose vanity of self-love is heightened to introduce that satire which is usefully designed against the impossibilities pretended by Chemists, and he could be no otherwise than of an extraordinary humour to represent it, for what had been common could not have done it.  
And I differ from their judgements who think, that whatsoever is not vulgarly observed amongst men, to be therefore not Poetically allowable, which if true, the wit of Poetry were rather common-place and observation, than invention, in no case to be allowed. Wherefore there needs no practicable authority for every Character that is produced, if what has been never before observed, answer the design of the Author in being useful and corrective to manners, the essential dignity of Comedy, and without which it has small title to that name or desert; besides a satire cannot be poetically expressed but it must be highly Hyperbolical, as may be seen in those of Juvenals, as also in most of the comedies of Ben Jhonson in which are very many characters of no being amongst men, as in his Devil's an Ass, Cinthio's Revels, and others; nay in his more exact one of the silent Woman, I doubt not to affirm that there was never such a man as Morose who conversed by a whisper through a Trunk, but the Poet's authority in that case is sufficient for what is not probable, because it was an extravagancy well applied to the humour of such a person, which is sufficient to direct us that things may be allowed in a Poetical sense which are not naturally so. Who ever disputed against the wonders mentioned by the Poets, the Metamorphosis of Ovid, AEsop's Fables and the like, by reason that the moral of them is more to be regarded than the truth; which consideration has been the best and general authority of introducing of Fables: wherefore to such as are different in opinion, there needs no other reply, but that they are little skilled in the Muses, and must be beholding to their ignorance for their excuse.  
As there are few rules for the decision of wit, so it has not always a dignity suitable to its desert, nay very often so far from receiving Justice in that kind, that a judicious person would sooner esteem what generally has been disapproved or condemned, than submit his censure to the giddiness of vulgar applause, there being nothing more unstable or erroneous than vox populi in point of plays, as the observation of not a few now extant doth manifest; besides that the Major part of Audiences are neither all Poets nor critical enough to determine of approbation or censure, but rather a commixture of men of several capacities, no more fit to conceive judiciously of what they observe, than if a multitude were consulted about a piece of painting, the generality whereof can hardly distinguish betwixt the Trowel and Pencil: so that it is no wonder, if from the confused result of their Judgement, or as they are decoyed by parties and factions, (which some to support their wit implore with more devotion than they pay their Muses, to which purpose they are industrious Orators to the Court and Town) we find the most irregular, and illiterate, obscene and insipid Plays crowded with audiences, where they with better exercise to their bodies sweat for company, than improve their wit, learning, or manners, to do all which should be the use of Plays; whilst the most fortunate of our present Poets may perhaps conceive themselves little less than sacred, in having this vogue, or stream of applause bestowed on their Plays, as if it were the only proper incense to be offered to Parnassus in their behalfs: but we may remember that the Red Bull writers, with their Drums, Trumpets, Battles, and Hero's, have had this success formerly, and perhaps have been able to number as many Audiences as our Theatres, (I will not presume to make the comparison otherwise) so likewise the Sock of that stage as well as the Buskin is not so Rank but that it may in some degree tread with our present writers, witness the Farce, alias the comedy of Tu quoque, no less than a mote for most of the modern of either denomination, and yet of happy memory, in point of audiences, as I doubt not many of ours of the like Genius will be, when they have lived as long.  
And though the ear be the principal sense to receive satisfaction from the Stage, yet we find, that of seeing has not seldom a greater predominancy, whilst Scenes, habits, dances, or perhaps an Actress take more with Spectators, than the best Dramatic wit, or contrivance of the Age, from whence we may prognosticate, that the interlude of Punchinello, (having some resemblance of the same entertainment) may be as long frequented as either Theatre.  
Not that I instance this, as a froward reflection on the mean reception of this Play, or any concern depending on it, or that I would have any obliged to like what in their aprehensions they judge fit to condemn; which whether in this case, it has proceeded from mistake or prejudice, I doubt not the Reader will candidly consider.  
For what value can there be given to wit, that it should be esteemed worth contending for, or for which a man would so much as seem to take it ill of the world if he be not thought to write or speak so well as he does, or that one more inconsiderable in either should be allowed to perform both better? wit being so far from being the inseparable Talon of the wise, that it is observable in some degree, not only in men of mean converse, but in the extravagancies of Fools, and madmen, and what does little redound to the credit of any that has been most successful (I mean on the Stage,) it has seldom been thought weighty enough for applause by such as have been able to put it to the test of sober judgement, who being few in respect of the gaudy and illiterate numbers that resort to Plays, & will take upon them to be at least so far acquainted with Poetry as to call themselves wits, (though they have little more Title to it than pretence, or as far perhaps as a Bawdy, or Tavern Jest can give the denomination) the discerning sort of men are as much disabled from overruling their Censures, as the Principles of Sobriety, Prudence, and Virtue, are rendered too weak to resist the more prevailing practice of disorder and vice. Wherefore if such who are properly Judges have thought fit to give this Comedy any Credit with the world, the Author will not have cause to conceive its value impaired by the condemnation of those (though the major part) who wanted either wit, or candour, to allow its repute. As on the other side, the respect of these several persons of ingenuity, and worth, who have thought it deserving of the Ornaments of their Pens, I doubt not is enough to confirm the Reader that if it be not so good as the Author could wish, it wants not the vindication as well as attest of impartial and knowing apprehensions.   

To the Author of the New Utopia.  

1  
BEyond the merit of the Age  
You have adorned the Stage  
So from rude farce to Comic order brought  
Each action and each thought  
To so sublime a Method as yet none  
But mighty Ben alone  
Durst ere compare, and he at distance too;  
Were he alive, he would resign to you  
Thou hast out done even what He writ,  
In this last great Example of thy wit.  
Thy Solymour does his Morose destroy,  
And thy Black Page undoes his Barber's Boy:  
His whole College of Ladies must retire  
Whilst we thy braver Heroines do admire.  
Tbis' New Utopia raised by thee  
Shall stand a Structure to be wondered at,  
And men shall say this! this is he  
Who that Poetic City did create,  
Of which Moor only did the Model draw  
You did complete that little world, and gave it Law:   

2  
If you too great a Prospect do allow  
To those whom ignorance do at distance seat  
'Tis not to say the object is less great,  
But they want sight to apprehend it so;  
The Ancient Poets in their times  
When through the Peopled Streets they sung their Rhimes,  
Found small applause, they sang, but still were poor,  
Repeated wit enough at every door  
t'o've made them Demy Gods, but 'twould not do  
Till Ages more refined esteemed them so:  
The Modern Poets have with like success  
Quit the Stage, and sallied from the Press.  
Great Johnson scarce a Play brought forth  
But Monsterlike it frightect at its birth;  
Yet he continued still to write  
And still his Satire did more sharply bite  
He writ though certain of his doom  
(Knowing his Power in Comedy)  
To please a wiser Age to come;  
And though he weapons wore to justify  
The reason of his Pen; he could not bring  
Dull souls to sense by Satire nor by cudgeling.   

3.  
In vain the errors of the times  
You strive by wholesome precepts to confute,  
Not all your power in Prose nor Rhimes  
Can finish the dispute,  
'Twixt those that damn, and those that do admire  
The heat of your Poetic fire:  
Your soul of thought you may employ  
A nobler way  
Than in revenge upon a multitude,  
Whose ignorance only make them rude:  
Should you that justice do  
You must for ever bid adieu,  
To Poetry Divine,  
And every Muse o'th' nine;  
For malice then with ignorance would join  
And so undo the world and you  
And Ravish from them that delight  
Of seeing the wonders which you write;  
And all your glories, unadmired must lie,  
As Vestal beauties are entombed before they die.   

4  
Consider, and consult your wit  
Despise those Ills you must endure;  
And raise your scorn as great as it,  
Be confident, and then secure:  
And let your rich fraught Pen  
Adventure out again,  
Maugre the storms which do oppose its course  
(Storms which destroy without remorse:)  
It may new worlds descry,  
Which peopled from thy brain may know  
More than the Universe besides can show;  
More Arts of Love, and more of Gallantry:  
Write on, and let not after Ages say  
The Whistle, and rude Hiss could lay,  
Thy mighty Spirit of Poetry,  
Which but the Fools and guilty fly;  
Who dare not in thy Mirror see,  
Their own deformity.  
Where thou in two, the world dost Character,  
Since most of men Sir Graves, or Peacocks are.   

5.  
And shall that Muse which did ere while  
Chant forth the glories of the British Isle,  
Shall she who louder was than fame  
Now useless lie, and tame?  
She who late made the Amazons so great  
And she who conquered Scythia too  
Which Alexander ne'er could do;  
Will you permit her to retreat?  
Silence will like submission show  
And give advantage to the foe.  
Undaunted let her once again appear  
And let her loudly sing in every ear;  
Then like thy Mistress eyes who have the skill  
Both to preserve and kill;  
So thou at once must be revenged on those  
That are thy foes;  
And on thy Friends such obligations lay  
As nothing but the deed, the doer can repay.   A. Behn.  

To the Author of the New Utopia.  

On the miscarriage of his Play in Acting.  
IN vain he seeks to get the world's applause,  
Who only pleads the merit of his cause;  
For now, alas, by faction, or by chance,  
All happy Candidates their names advance.  
Faction! the weight that renders good too light;  
First moved by envy, malice, and despite;  
And ever since indifferently tried  
To turn the Scale upon the weaker side.  
Of old, as now, it did rewards bestow:  
Witness the noblest Romans overthrow;  
When standing for the Consulship in choice,  
Their virtues yielded to the people's voice.  
Nor is repulse the worst; but many times,  
Supreme deserts were punished as great crimes:  
So was this Play, by a consorted cry  
Of wits and wittols, baffled and laid by.  
They, to preserve themselves in force, condemn;  
And these, like Pensioners, to follow them:  
While both presume of nonsense to impeach,  
Because some fancies went above their reach:  
Conceit and language only proving good,  
Where by the hearers they are understood.  
But trust the Press to vindicate the Stage,  
And show their judgement was th'effect of rage,  
Each Scene will there such pointed reasons urge,  
As may the Blades at once convince and scourge.  
Thus triumphed Horace o'er his sinking Fate,  
Making th'united Brother separate:  
Who in a Body durst pronounce your Doom,  
Doubt not but singly you shall overcome.   J. T.  

To the Author of the New Utopia.  

1.  
HOw happy, Sir, was the last age  
When learned Johnson ruled the Stage  
That Strict observer of mankind.  
Men were the Books he read, and he  
Made the whole town his Library;  
Theatres were then the Schools  
Of good morality, where Knaves and Fools  
Their follies saw, and vices acted so,  
Shame, those made honester, these, wiser grow.  
In every Scene he writ we find  
With Pleasure Profit joined,  
And every Comedy  
He did intend  
An Errata Page should be,  
To show men faults and teach 'em how to mend.   

2.  
But this age disesteems true Comedy  
'Cause 'tis the mirror of the times  
That doth reflect men's follies and their Crimes:  
So some affected Lady 'cause her glass  
Shows her how ill she manages her face,  
Is out of humour with't and throws it by.  
Now Comedy to Farce gives place,  
Which but its Zany is, and pleases more  
With its Grimace,  
Than all the Arts of Comedy before:  
Yet is but Comedy turned Ridicule,  
Or humours shown in Masquerade  
An antic playing of the fool,  
Which does so fast advance  
Comedy is laughed out of Countenance.   

3.  
But you adventure to retrieve  
The fading glories of the Stage,  
Whilst this Play you more than give  
To the unthankful age.  
Great Ben thought it enough to swear  
That his were good  
Believe me so they are,  
Could we but find a man had as much wit  
To read and judge of them as he that writ.  
The same fate now  
Does your Play disallow,  
'Tis liked by as few as understood.  
Our age before  
Ne'er had a Play like this, nor e'er again  
Will such another see, less you once more  
Employ your Pen,  
Which you must do in scorn of them  
That for your virtue do your wit condemn.  
Their spite  
Brings you more praise than all your friends can write,  
And does assert  
Your Fame:  
For where there's envy, there's desert,  
That still at excellence doth aim.  
So mongrel Curs are known  
To bark against the brightness of the Moon,  
But let such Critics still pursue  
Their malice, and do you  
Write on, 'tis not allowed  
By fate, their breath  
Should raise a lasting Cloud.  
For after death  
Like other Poets you shall have  
The Bays you merit Planted on your grave.  
No Poet ere a greater fame acquired,  
Than living, to be envied, dead, admired.   Edward Ravenscroft.  

To the Author of the New Utopia.  

1.  
I have oft in silence grieved to see  
Poor and afflicted Poetry,  
(Of late so much adored)  
Rudely by ignorance dethroned,  
Till you, brave Sir, did timely succour bring,  
And by your Art restored  
That poor distressed and deposed Queen.   

2.  
You've built her Throne much brighter than before  
Adding vast treasures to her wasted store;  
You have enlarged her power, and demain  
By the sole virtue of your Pen;  
And have removed all that usurped the sway,  
That she might rule  
Without Control  
Not Fettered by penurious and rebellious law.   

3.  
You've added New Utopia to her Crown  
Richly Adorned with trophies of your own,  
Surpassing Ancient Babylon or Rome;  
This shall the Eternal seat of Empire be  
To love and Poesy:  
In whose soft reign their subjects shall not know  
The noise of wars  
Or Civil jars,  
Whose mighty empire most in peace does grow.   

4.  
In the next age, of this it will be said,  
They practise by the pattern you have laid.  
Your prudent Morals that world will reform  
Which now are lost and smothered in the Storm.  
Proceed, great soul, and fear not a worse Doom;  
But like a Ship bear through your Course  
Against the wind and waters force;  
Scattering the angry Billows and their foam,   

5.  
You first controlled the ill-mannered Stage,  
Obliging, by correcting vice, the Age;  
You've singed the tattering Pinnions of that Rhyme  
In which our flock of wits seem so sublime:  
Their maimed and helpless Muse now groveling lies;  
Fluskers and beats the earth but cannot rise.  
You've banished from the Stage their Jill and Ruffian too,  
(Enough a thousand Poets to undo)  
For this they hate and snarl at you.  
You like the wiser Ages these detest,  
And all your modest Scenes  
Seem filled with Queens,  
Only more fair they are and humbly dressed.   

6.  
When you have traversed all the Sciences,  
Your patient soul in these sweet Arts you ease:  
You Court your Muse neither for gain nor Dower  
But all your flame and passion's pure:  
Your thoughts you show in such a comely dress,  
As never fullied Theatre nor Press;  
Yet so severely prick  
That the most sluggish Ass does kick,  
And scourge no less the fool and lunatic.   

7.  
You have disturbed our Poet's Hive,  
And what will spoil their game,  
The stolen sweets you do proclaim,  
By which the lazy Wasps do live.  
You must expect they'll buzza while about  
But yet one breath  
Like sudden storm or death,  
Will quickly scatter all that peevish rout.   

8.  
Unwearied Ben in the ungrateful Age  
Propped up the stooping ruins of the Stage;  
He bravely finished what he knew was good  
Scorning the envy of the multitude;  
Rebuked, and then sustained with patience  
The poor and rude  
Revilings of the Crowd,  
And whipped the foolish world at last to sense.   

9  
Cease not to do undauntedly the same  
And you'll succeed that great man in his fame.  
Beaumont and witty Fletcher then as due  
Will yield their Ancient glories up to you.  
Go on, your help you may too long defer  
And then this Age must give to you  
What that to Ben did owe:  
And call you the supporter of the sinking Theatre.   S●m, Clyat.  

Prologue.  
THe New Utopia! Is't not pretty too  
If this our Comedy more strange things show  
Than all Romantic Tales you've heard of old  
Of love and honour? (though more lately told.)  
And that you Ladies, see your Sex above  
The power of men, and so command their love?  
But where's the Art to form these gay things here,  
Led by that Angel Wit, you Critics fear?  
Who (Devil-like) to Poets teach despair:  
Nay more; I'll thus of our men Actors say,  
They slight perhaps how you'll receive this Play,  
Like lazy Hirelings having shared their Pay:  
But for us Women, we protest to Act  
Above the men (who are obliged by pact)  
And with that vigour will perform it too,  
You'll wish your own Amours were acted so:  
Tho' 'tis your interest to be pleased to day  
T' encourage Poets (after him) to pay  
As much beforehand ere we act new Play.  
And then 'tis Odds you'll find such cautious wit  
That few will venture who have ill ones writ,  
To be by Critics and themselves cross-bit;  
Th' excuse the Poet gives, it was wit him  
Perhaps like such who in discourse and Wine,  
Think all they write and say is fine,  
Till wiser thoughts the past condemns  
Yet he presumes that most of all you here  
Have been content to pay Six days as dear,  
When but a petty farce has been your Cheer;  
But I'd almost forgot that you may take  
A forfeit for each bolder word I speak.  
Tho' it has past, nay held good Prologue sense,  
T' have dared you with less wit than confidence,  
Like those Romantic favours some dispense:  
'Tis here with Writers as with other men,  
Suppose them rich, their wit you make so then:  
Do the like now; and you perhaps may find  
You ' are not Cozened more in being kind.   

Dramatis Personae.  

Sir Adam Meridith. 
Mr. Underhil.  Sir Grave Solymour. 
Mr. Medburn.  Mr. Franckman. 
Mr. Harris.  Polidor, a Noble person. 
Mr. Young.  Featlin, Son to Sir Solym. 
Mr. Crosby.  Foppering. 
Mr. noke's.  Peacock. 
Mr. Angel.  Euphorbus. 
Mr. Sherwood.  Orlando Curioso. 
Mr. Sandford.  Serina, A noble Lady. 
Mrs. Betterton.  Celinda. 
Mrs. Shadwel.  Crispina. 
Mrs. Long.  Eugenia. 
Mrs. Lee.  Petilla. 
Mrs. Dixon.  1. Lady. 
Mrs. Ford.  2. Lady. 
Mrs. Clough.   

A Blackamoor Boy disguised like a Woman.  
4 Citizens and Magistrates.  
Page and Attendants.    
Scene, Utopia.   

THE Six Days Adventure, OR THE NEW UTOPIA.  

The First Act.  Enter Meridith and his Boy. Merid. 
BOy! Fetch me a glass of Sack; Or no matter—  [Boy offers to go out. 
I do not feel I want it, besides I scorn That these gray-hairs shall be beholding to A dram of artificial mirth, I'll keep a Cordial still within me, here.  Boy. 
What mean you Sir?  Merid. 
To be from this day young again.  Boy. 
That's impossible, Sir.  Merid. 
'Tis in my power, Boy; I find that Age Is partly affectation, a ridiculous gravity, Worse than folly, or dotage. Hast thou writ the song out fair I gave thee?  Boy. 
I have writ the Rhyme true at least, Sir; And that's it which makes the music.  Merid. 
Away, away; I should be loath To make such a Satirical repartee to any of our Poets: Give me the song.  Boy. 
Shall I sing it?  [Boy deliver the Song Merid. 
No Boy, I'll not entertain myself at The Second hand; should a Lady offer her voice As amorous as I feel myself to be, I'd Rather desire her pardon, and make use of my natural Air  Boy. 
This master of mine was ever inclined to mirth;  [aside. 
But this has so much of the extreme, that did I but Observe such another Example, and were old enough To be skilled in the Stars, I should judge We had a various world towards.  [Meridith having pondered on the Song a while, with an airy posture, sings it. The Song. 

1.  
THough Nature, some tell, grows old, grows old,  
And youth and age decay;  
In spigbt of all her winter's cold  
I merrily sing  
My age's spring:  
And can love at this day,  
And can love at this day.   

2.  
Whilst on my head these hairs do show,  
That time is old, not I  
Unless his hours more youthful slow  
And Autumn meet  
With Summers' heat;  
Who else must live and die  
Less pleasantly than I   Merid. 
Away boy & set my Lute & Viol in order—  Enter Sir Grave Solymour at the end of the song, who stops his ears hearing Meridith sing. 
I would be yet merrier did I know how— And teach time to grow young again. My joints I feel can spring a caper yet—  [He leaps Soly. 
Fie Sir Adam Meredith! What so vain? I am Sorry I find cause to rebuke it, in a man Of your years.  Merid. 
Good Sir Grave Solymour do not infect me With your austerity: as I bear the name of Adam So I will endeavour to be the first Man of mirth Of my time.  Soly. 
What a vain world have we towards? an old Man Turned young again?  Merid. 
Were I beholding to charms, like AEson, your gravity might call me in question; Or were I infirm, and diseased; or knew Woman that despised my mirth, age, or me, as Perhaps (though somewhat younger) you may find; I might have cause to be less jovial, but So long as I am resolved to be youthful, Fate do thy worst.  Soly. 
O times! O manners!  Merid. 
What call you good times, or manners, but Such as conspire most with our delights? Be it War or peace, I am resolved to maintain my Humour; and when I am dead, my life shall Oblige some Poet or other by spiriting Comedy with my Character.  Soly. 
You have good luck if you 'scape Whilst you live: there are writers amongst us Of such barren inventions, as they are forced to Character the living, and could it but produce Reformation amongst us, Satirical Poets were The most useful of all professions in Utopia.  Merid. 
What call you Reformation?  Soly. 
The suppression of vanity and vice.  Merid. 
I have heard of such a Sect in England That would inveigh openly against all these, yet loved their Regalios, and the close embrace in private, I hope you are not of the same complexion,  Soly. 
There's nothing more hard than to dissemble safely—  [Aside. 
But Sir though you censure freely, I hope I may deserve so much of your Charity to Be taken as I profess myself to be.  Merid. 
I'll be as candid, as you can deserve, or desire me.  Soly. 
To requite your favour, I'll put you in Mind of what you have cause to consider.  Merid. 
With all my heart, Sir.  Soly. 
But whether 'twill fit your jolly humour I make a question.  Merid. 
You need not Sir, I am prepared for all Things, the world can impose on me; a Nonresident: Priest lives not so much sine cura, as I do, And will do.  Soly. 
You might remember, we are this day in danger Of being unmanned.  Merid. 
How unmanned? Prithee how?  [Feels below. 
I should as unwillingly want any thing that belongs to Manhood, As any man of twenty in Utopia.  Soly. 
Or what is worse (if not prevented) our women. May this day claim the Government of us, and Our Country, by an unhappy custom sometime Practised here. Is this no judgement on our Vanities?  Merid. 
A mere happiness! the only mirth I looked for: I know our Law says, their time is come, And happy our Commonwealth, that is like to Exchange Clubs for Diamonds.  Soly. 
But more unhappy Ancestors. Where was their Judgements, their resolutions in gratifying the Weak and vainer sex, with such a Law? 'Tis torment to My senses.  Merid. 
But in mine the most natural of all Governments. Was not first man, than woman? So in dominion here Our constitution says, that they and we must rule by Turns: Though as a man, I could be well enough content My own sex might be still superior; but be merry and Amorous, and no matter, Knight.  Soly. 
That any man upward of 60 years should be thus Extravagant! Well Solymour; tho' thy inclinations May be as prone to vice, there is some honour in thy  [Aside 
Dissimulation: A gilded pill deceives the eye, though Not the taste.  Enter Frankman. Merid. 
Mr. Frankman, well met.  Frank. 
Sir Adam, I joy to see you! I perceive there's no Decay of Mirth in you, whatsoever there is in nature.  Merid. 
Thanks be to heaven, I feel none: My gray hairs Do not lessen my Genius, but rather improve it by Putting me in mind of the silver Age, of which the Poets sung so merrily in times past; and were sixteen My Rival, I should think that woman too blame, That would not make me her choice.  Frank. 
God a mercy old boy.  Merid. 
And how do the Ladies of our acquaintance?  Frank. 
You would not make love to them?  Merid. 
Were I sure they would not neglect me for these gray hairs; I'd say something.  Frank. 
A merry heart may do much, you know what Times are towards us.  Merid. 
I know, I know; and have been winning of Sir Solymour; but he's so austere.  Frank. 
Oh he's a man of magistracy, though I believe no better A member of the Commonwealth, than he should be.  [Aside. Soly. 
And must blush with others; if I lay down my authority. At the foot of a petticoat: are you for a resignation Mr. Frankman?  Frank. 
Not violent, but rather indifferent; since the Law allows it Tho' I doubt not, we have some Magistrates of your grave Sense, that will unwillingly resign.  Soly. 
May heaven reward them!  Frank. 
But when I consider the Novelty, To see this Lady vie With tother, for beauty, place, and superintendency; 'Twill be such a gay government.  Mere. 
And so sportive and airy, that an Anarchy under them Would be pleasant.  Soly. 
Our predecessors, have been cursed in their Cradles, or what Is worse, fooled by their Wives.  Frank. 
Do not torment yourself so much, good Sir Solymour; the Utmost time is but a year and a day, and 'tis odds, if they Obtain it, whether 'twill last to the next Moonlight, as Matters may fall out.  Soly. 
Were it not for our sins, I should hope better things, But the time we live in, is degenerate, and vicious, above All others.  Frank. 
A mere vulgar error, maintained by some peevish examples Of formality, and age: Are not the Sun and Stars of the same Temper, and heat they ever were: The Elements likewise the Same, and consequently our constitutions that depend on These, not more variable or degenerate in this than in other ages Of the world: but if your past youth have offended, or That you have any clandestine sin lies heavy on your Conscience, 't will become your gravity in due time, to Repent, and acknowledge it.  Merid. 
God a mercy, young heart, thou hast spoke my sense To purpose.  Soly. 
And touches home, but I hope ignorantly—  [Aside. 
I should be loath to blush for my hypocrisy. Ha¡— what noise is this;  [Oboe sound. Merid. 
Oboes, Sir: In my younger years they were used On the stage to represent state and triumph.  Enter Foppering. Frank. 
And he at the end on't? then we shall have an Interlude to purpose.  Soly. 
By your leaves Gentlemen, I would be excused The hearing of it.  [Soly. offers to go out. Frank. 
You shall not take it by your favour Sir, until you Know the occasion of his presenting himself thus.  Foppering. 
A ha— boys—  [Oboe again. Soly. 
I beseech you Sir, I love no instrumental sound, to which Purpose I have caused all the instruments in my house To be broken.  Frank. 
I fear a sign of no good nature in you.  Merid. 
Or a strange antipathy to mirth.  Fop. 
Victory! Victory, fellow Citizens, of Utopia!  Soly. 
Such an extravagance as this, a man would leap down A precipice to avoid.  Frank. 
The great Mogul has not invaded us, and is beaten off?  Fop. 
And thereby hangs a tale boys, and thereby hangs a tale boys.  Merid. 
Proceed thou spirit of joy.  Soly. 
May not I withdraw yet?  Frank. 
Give him the hearing first;— It may concern our commonwealth— Go on Sir.  Fop. 
Why to tell you true Gentiles, as be it known to all the World, I hate lying.  Frank. 
That parenthesis might have been spared.  Fop. 
And as I am a Gentleman of truth, and honesty, as I said before.—  Sol. 
Yet again! Would I were in a Mill that I might not hear the Whilst.  Fop. 
Then know all absent and present that I Tom Foppering Having been the last night, at some odds with my Wife, and so Forth; as you know, 'tis not easy for married People to be Always even with one another.  Frank. 
A pleasant contention I hope.  Fop. 
We fell at last to single duel.  Merid. 
Naked I hope.  Fop. 
As old as you are, you're mistaken, I had my shirt on And she her smock.  Soly. 
O Monstrous! Above the patience of Socrates to endure!  Frank. 
Have a little more, he's coming to a period.  Fop. 
And, as I said before, being both naked, or which is all One, I in a smock, and she in a shirt, as I told you already.  Frank. 
This is one symptom of a liar— he wants memory— But no matter.—  Fop. 
We fell to hand and foot.—  Merid. 
And nothing else?  Fop. 
And to say truth I had the better on her by a fall or two, And brought her to such a submission, that for my sake She'll not attempt to rule in private or public.  Frank. 
Mark that Sir Solimour; would the rest of our Females could be so compounded with.  Fop. 
Nay more to our greater joy, fellow Citizens, I made her Give me her word that she would oppose her sex in our behalfs, if they did but offer at government.  Soly. 
Is this certain?  Fop. 
She promised it on her knees, as I love stewed prunes.  Frank. 
Lo you there Sir, and yet you are so severe, you would Not hear so much.  Soly. 
I confess my error, and beg your pardon, Sir; you may be Taken notice on for a Patriot of your country.  Merid. 
A Parrot rather, for in my sense he talks by rote.  Soly. 
By your leave Gentlemen.  Frank. 
I hope you'll convey this good news, as occasion Serves.  Fop. 
And extol my exploits with due praise.  Soly. 
Your deserts oblige it.  [Ex. Sir Solymour. Frank. 
A stiff piece of formality.  Merid. 
And used such discourses against mirth, and vanity!—  Frank. 
O he has got lately into office (perhaps beholding to his Money, which sometimes creates honour, and preferments, sooner Than wit or honesty— You pleased him Mr. Foppering To a hair.  Fop. 
I am glad to do my friends, and the public, service.  Enter Peacock. Frank. 
Mr. Peacock well met.  Peac. 
And so are you Mr. Frankman, and you, Sir Adam. But For you Mr. Foppering, I am more than your tres humble Serviteur.  Fop. 
I return your salutation in my mother's tongue, for want Of a better, Sir, giving you my embrace thus.  [They hug. Frank. 
O here were a sight indeed to trouble Solymours Patience— but Mr. Peacock—  Peac. 
Your ready observer—  Frank. 
Sparing my return of your compliment; had you been here Even now.  Peac. 
What then? Sir?  Frank. 
Why you have lost the seeing of such a sight.  Peac. 
A sight Sir.  Frank. 
Yes Sir, and such an one as the glory of Rome can't parallel Your friend Mr. Foppering hath had such a victory, and Triumph upon it.  Fop. 
Good Sir, no more; a slight passage betwixt my wife and me.  Frank. 
'Tis your Modesty to call it so.  Peac. 
Nay Mr. Foppering, if you will conceal from your friend.  Fop. 
Why in good faith, Mr. Peacock, to tell you true, I am Ashamed to mention it; I had only a single Combat With my wife, and as I may tell you and the rest of my Friends, had something the better on her Ladyship.  Merid. 
‛ Bating the folly, I have not met with such a jolly passage I konow not when.—  Frank. 
You must allow a little.  Merid. 
With all my heart, proceed.  Frank. 
And yet you'll grant her a smart one, as most this Clime hath produced.  Fop. 
That I confess Sir, but as we men of valour say, The more Danger, the more honour.  Peac. 
Passion on my heart, a brave expression: O that I had a Wife too!—  Frank. 
To what purpose?—  Peac. 
Marry that I might beat her more to purpose Than ever woman was beaten; but though I am not so happy to have a Wife, I have a mistress I dare be bold with; I'll go presently And swaddle her soundly.  Fop. 
Do, do, Mr. Peacock; if she be a woman, she cannot but Deserve it.  Frank. 
By no means Sir, 'twere unjust—  [Frank. stays him. Peac. 
I beseech you Sir, permit me as you love my honour.  Frank. 
That's a motive indeed.  Peac. 
And you shall see what a triumph I'll show you, (shall out do Foppering) with a Drum and flying Colours, which I assure You, in contempt shall be made of her Petticoats.  Merid. 
Spare me, spare me, Frankman, I shall die laughing else.  Frank. 
Come! you shall help to persuade—  [To Foppering. Fop. 
With all my heart; I was never against reconciliation, whether It were with man or woman.  Peac. 
Well Sirs, if you had not interceded, I had paid her Coat for her, I'd have you to know, I do not fear Taffetty, when 'tis in my way.  Frank. 
On my Conscience thou canst act the part of a man under A Petticoat— but enough of this matter. We must now be serious.  Peac. 
‛ Good faith; 'Twas my business Sir, Tho'I took this heat In my way, a man must stand upon honour you know Sir.  Frank. 
I confess you could not well do otherwise, and such a Precedent as Mr. Foppering to emulate.  Fop. 
Excuse me Sir, I have no such ambition but by way of Discourse, or so forth.  Frank. 
Is not this pleasant Meredith?  Mer. 
It tickles me over and over; I could find in my heart to Make a Copy of verses on the occasion; I find my wit Youthful too; I thank my Stars.  Frank. 
By no means, 'twould dishonour your Muse, and is rather a Fit subject for our Lampooners that want invention Otherwise.  Peac. 
But to be serious, as you were saying Sir, I would ask You a capital question.  Frank. 
What is it?  Peac. 
Why, I would desire your judgement whether my periwig be A la mode or no? or what say you Sir? or you Sir?  Frank. 
A capital question indeed amongst many of our Gallants.  [Aside. Merid. 
Why Sir, I judge it fits as well on your head, as it would On any man's it sits worse.  Fop. 
Would mine did deserve one as good.  Pea. 
And for my clothes Gentlemen?  Frank. 
Exact to a Thread.  Peac. 
In good sooth— I am afraid they are not fantastical Enough as the world goes— but I have provided others With such an invention!  Merid. 
As how! as how?  Peac. 
Why, as I am called Peacock, so I am resolved my habit: Shall be various, that is to say, as much as in me lies, I Will Carry my Name on my back; Is not this an invention?  Frank. 
Excellent! there's not such a Toyish thing thought on, since Vests were first in use.  Peac. 
But an hours patience, and if my Tailor be not perfidious And break his word with me, you shall behold me Peacock-like indeed— I'll speak to him about it, Presently.  Frank. 
You can't do better.  [Ex. Peac. Enter Serina, Crispina, Ingenia, Petilla and other Ladies. Fop. obscures himself when he sees his wife. Merid. 
Ladies, your humble servant.  Serin. 
You preserve your mirth still, Sir Adam.  Merid. 
And shall do, fair ones, as long as I have to do With flesh and blood, the fires of love are not Extinguished yet, I thank providen c.  Serin. 
A sprightly piece of antiquity.  Euge. 
And of any ingenious humour: were I courted by him, As I am a Virgin, I think I should not have the heart To deny him.  Frank. 
Madam— I am yours.  [To Crispina. Crisp. 
You have my thanks, but I shall hardly take you At your word.  Frank. 
I am sure you'll not be so unkind to forget.  Crisp. 
Not that we have talked of love, or so— pray Ladies, forward, the time is expired already.  Frank. 
For what?  Petil. 
To possess and enjoy what belongs to us— mark that, You Sons of earth.  Frank. 
They'll not allow us to be sons of women shortly.  Petil. 
And she that will quit her share in government, may She never have an obsequious servant, or obedient Husband.  Frank. 
That were too much Madam.  Merid. 
A Brisk Lady i'faith.  Serin. 
Now by your leave Gentlemen—  Merid. 
I am sorry you afford us so short a happiness, your Company's a second life to me.  Petil. 
We have some affairs with our body politic.  [Ex. Ladies. Frank. 
I see they will have a pull for the Government Come off how we can— but where's Foppering?  [Fop. discovers. Fop. 
I had some occasion to step aside a little.  Frank. 
And your Wife here, I could not have thought it.  Fop. 
But I did Sir, on some Considerations.  Merid. 
I suppose so.  Frank. 
Prithee follow her and keep her in humour (if Possible) it may be of concern to our commonwealth.  Fop. 
You shall command me Sir— but if I come within her Reach, it shall be against my will—  [Ex. Fop. Frank. 
A Bragadochio Fop, and assure as I live his wife beats him.  Merid. 
I would not wish to see it, though 'twere some diversion, as He carries the matter.  [Enter Boy Boy. 
Some of the Chief Magistrates of Utopia, Desire admittance.  Merid. 
Wait on them hither—  [Ex. Boy. Enter Sir Solimour with five or six Magistrates who are showed Seats. Soly. 
By your favour Sir, you must be here, your years Require the respect.  Merid. 
You must excuse me Sir, I have done with debates and Counsels of this kind, and the world's welcome to me, Which way soever it turns, thanks to my Genius.  1. Magis. 
You are much altered of late.  Merid. 
For the better I hope— but to your business, here is my place.  Frank. 
And mine here—  Meridith and Frank. seat themselves at the lower end of the Rest. Soly. 
The business, fathers, That requires our consideration, is a high point of Government.  2. Mag. 
And of no less concern, than whether we men shall govern, Or this Commonwealth have women Magistrates that in order Of nature should be our subjects.  1. Magis. 
Prudently stated.  3. Magis. 
Though it be acknowledged that our Law doth give Them right at this time.  Soly. 
But not executed within man's memory, I take it.  1. Mag. 
That's granted.  2. Mag. 
And may be therefore, the more reasonably prevented.  Soly. 
Besides the vanity & scandal, such a government may produce.  3. Magis. 
Spoke like Sir Gràve Solymour.  Frank. 
What pains does he take to be thought— Better than he is?  [Aside to Meridith. Merid. 
'Tis his way, 'tis his way; tho' I am ashamed that a man Of his age, should have a disposition so antipathized To mine.  [Too Frank. Soly. 
These things being considered— I judge it suitable to Our Gravities and discretions, to detain the power in Our hands.  3. Mag. 
The world cannot but applaud it.  1. Magis. 
But what shall we do to govern our wives in the mean time?  2. Mag. 
That's a question indeed fellow Citizen, considering how Absolute they rule at home.  1. Mag. 
And as much affect it in private affairs, in so much that Sometimes the mannagement of Kingdoms, and States, comes Under their power; What think you Gentlemen?  [To Frank, & Merid. Frank. 
That I am happy in being not married.  Merid. 
And I, that I am able to love yet.  Soly. 
Fie, you are not serious.  2. Mag. 
And speak from the question.  Frank. 
I suppose some of your Gravities will be able to apply it, as Your Wives may handle the matter.  Enter Foppering hastily, and in disorder. Fop. 
O Gentlemen!  Soly. 
What's the business?  Fop. 
Outrageous things in agitation! our Women are turning Mankind, and using of their vigours the wrong way.  Merid. 
That were a strange Metamorphosis.  Fop. 
I saw at least a dozen uppermost with men under them, Who lay as flat as flounders; the Streets crowded, and Disordered; sweetheart's and their servants together by the Ears; Husbands beaten by their Wives twice over.  Frank. 
And how 'scap'd you?  Fop. 
Excuse me Sir; you know my superintendency— Besides Potts, Kettles, Dripping-pans, and Skillets, such Weapons As I thought women would not have fought with Out of doors, have made such batteries, and broke many A hard and horned forehead, I suppose—  Merid. 
This will make work for Tinkers.  Fop. 
Enough to employ that Trade in my conscience an age.  Soly. 
What a Moon of madness are we come to?  Frank. 
But you have undertaken for your wife Sir?  Fop. 
As far as the best member I have can serve the Commonwealth 'tis yours: in the mean time, I'll see what becomes Of my Spouse amongst the rest—  [Ex. Fop. Soly. 
An obliging person— Gentlemen your assistance.  Frank. 
To do any but fight with women or cats.  Merid. 
Rather let us endeavour to bring them into humour, and So quit their pretences that way.  2. Mag. 
I fear 'tis impossible! Here are some Of the Female Party.  Enter Petilla & Crispina. Frank. 
And Foppering wife one of them.  Merid. 
Were he present, 'Tis odds we should see a smart Combat Betwixt them.  [Petilla and Crispina set up their arms. Petill. 
Now Gentlemen; you that deny our Authority, make it good and meet us man To Woman, if you dare.  Merid. 
Well said spirit of Venus.  Crisp. 
There's my Glove to second her, take it up who please,  Frank. 
I'll rather kiss it, and return it you again.  Soly. 
This surpasses Amazonian impudence.  Frank. 
Or rather shows us that women will do more for power Than Love, we seldom find they venture to die for that; I Presume to say so much in your behalf, Madam.  Crisp. 
Keep your distance Sir, and know with the rest you have But one hour to answer our demands—  Petil. 
That's too much by one Moiety, it shall be but half an hour.  1. Mag. 
And to whom must we apply?  Petil. 
To those with us, who represent the good women of the Nation.  Frank. 
Instead of the good people, one of our old Commonwealth's Terms.  2. Mag. 
Is there no accommodation to be had?  Crisp. 
Not any, until the power's first acknowledged ours.  Petill. 
Without which you shall have War, private and Public; The Plagues of Egypt shall be short of what We Women will inflict on men that are disobedient. I suppose the most of you have Wives or Mistresses, or both, And so adieu—  Ex. Women. Frank. 
A menace to purpose.  1. Mag. 
A Fury could not have expressed the like.  Soly. 
What Catastrophe are we like to suffer?  Merid. 
A Gentle one at worst, I'll warrant you, 'Tis but being Amorous, and pleasant.  [Drum beats. 1. Mag. 
Ha! what noise is this? more alarms towards? Would I were fairly rid of my office.  2. Mag. 
Or that I had given up mine to my Wife, without A demand— my forehead will ache for it I fear.  Omn. Mag. 
Again, again.  [Trumpet sounds. Frank. 
'Tis a Trumpet.  3. Mag. 
Our women are taking horse then.  Frank. 
To scratch us with their Nails think you?  [Trumpets again. Soly. 
O I am astonished!  Frank. 
Have you no wool to stop your Ears?  Soly. 
I fear I shall never hear more.  Merid. 
Ha, ha, ha! I cannot choose but laugh, should I die for't.  Frank. 
You need not apprehend; the Drum and Trumpet Speak comfort and sound a parley.  Soly. 
Then let us breathe a while— and so repent of our sins.  Frank. 
Do, good Sir, with the rest of this reverend presence, withdraw; Put on your night-Capps, and so consider what's to be done.  Omn. Mag. 
Your advice is obliging and discreet.  Frank. 
Come Meridith.  [Ex. omnes.—  

The Second Act.  Enter Sir Solimour and three Magistrates. Soly. 
I Wish I knew how to advise your Gravities.  1. Mag. 
Your counsel has been ever prudent.  Soly. 
But things are come to such an Exigent.  2. Mag. 
And the more violent, for the persons we have to deal with Being women.  1. Mag. 
Besides many of them wives, that have been in full command Already.  Soly. 
I must confess it is the fate of most Cities (tho'a deplorable one) To suffer under the female Yoke: Every puss that dares but Scratch, will offer at supremacy.  2. Mag. 
And make not a few of us greater beasts than we should be, besides—  Soly. 
Methinks this creature, Woman, much resembles the Eel, on Which there's lest hold to be taken by the tail.  2 Mag. 
Your Gravity says right: 'Tis a slippery propriety we have In that Sex.  Soly. 
But hard to be reformed, since so spiteful a decree Of Nature, that the most serious can hardly resist it, nay Content to make love sometimes their recreation and Leisure.  3. Mag. 
We must acknowledge it.  Soly. 
I wish we could not, but as the Poet sings; Et mentem dedit ipsa Venus: 'Tis in us, and will have To do with us.  Enter Frankman. 1. Mag. 
Here comes Mr. Frankman.  Soly. 
I beseech you, what news?  Frank. 
Not better Sir, than I could wish— our women Are violent still.  1. Mag. 
Not to be compounded with on reasonable terms?  Frank. 
There are but few of that Sex, will usually hear Propositions of that kind.  2. Mag. 
Suppose we are content to govern with them?  3. Mag. 
And so join body politics?  2. Mag. 
Or that we might govern by day, and they by night.  Soly. 
An Empire so divided, I think I might comply with.  Frank. 
I judge you would Sir, but they require a dominion Somewhat more absolute I fear; besides most wives have A larger Prerogative already, than you mention.  3. Mag. 
That's granted,  Soly. 
But an immodesty, and sin as big as impudence to Own it.  Frank. 
'Tis not denied— Nor can I blame you for repining At these days, Sir Solymour.  Soly. 
To have power of life and love too.  Frank. 
I Confess it severe— but for such as have wives I suppose they may hold their Capacities, with the Assistance of some others, to serve their Cures: for us that Have none, We must do as well as we can: Women Are like fruitful-Fields; if they lie fallow 'tis our Own faults— but let that pass. You must remember Your utmost time is expired.  Soly. 
Is there no withholding? What Says Sir Adam Meridith?  [Enter Sir Adam. Merid. 
If you mean Power, let it pass, and be merry without it. The Females have gotten the rain in their Mouths, there's No pulling of them back: I have persuaded all my Friends And acquaintances to comply.  Soly. 
Is't possible?  Merid. 
O Sir, I would not lose the pleasure of their regency To tell my years back again.  Frank. 
You see Magistrates, how we are divided in opinion.  1. Mag. 
Is there no remedy?  Frank. 
None as I suppose; you have moved a Nest of Hornets That have stings some where.  Merid. 
And will be about your ears presently, except you conform.  Soly. 
Since there is no prevention I comply.  Frank. 
Away, away Sirs, lest the time be elapsed and they inflict Punishment for it, or put us in the Stocks, as some, Non-con-Formist-Priests deserve amongst us.  2. Mag. 
We shall haste with ceremony and observance.  Merid. 
Lest you hear the Drum and Trumpet again, to put you In mind of your duty— away, away—  [Ex. Soly. and Mag. Frank. 
So, so: the work's done.  Merid. 
I would not have it undone, for any pleasure I know; The Novelty must be delightful; and to speak truth Our Masculine Commonwealth like others in the World Hath been factious enough.  Frank. 
There's a Magisterial spirit of division in the best, that Ever I read of, and not seldom destroys itself:— but To observe how our horned Citizens will wear their Brow Antlers, under this new Militia, and government, and such A Commonwealth of love towards.  Merid. 
As will put down Love's Kingdom I warrant thee. The more won anish, the more interest for men of Kind complexions.  Frank. 
Were I a woman, for thy humour's sake, I think I should love and admire thee— Who have we here; Peacock?  Merid. 
And dressed so like himself: I  Enter Peacock dressed in a habit of Feathers. 
Wish you Joy of your new habit.  Peac. 
'Tis a new mode I confess Sir, but I hope it suits Both my name, and Genius.  Frank. 
O to a Feather Sir: I dare commend your fancy so Farr— and where had you the Pattern?  Peac. 
As far off as the Indies: I thought none nearer Airy Enough for me.  Merid. 
A pleasant and ingenious people, I have heard much of 'em.  Frank. 
O Sir, they can make bows and arrows out of a red Herring: and for their clothes, they make them as you see Mr. Peacocks, by using the Feathers of Parrots, and Paraquetoes.  Peac. 
You are in the right, Mr. Frankman.  Merid. 
And can they fly when they have done?  Frank. 
I know not that, and yet I suppose them as near a Kin To Icarus, as any Nation living— Prithee Peacock Let me be beholden to thee to describe some other of Their qualities.  Peac. 
Why Sir, they have an especial faculty of uttering Their minds in verse on all occasions, and though they Walk in Feathers like Birds, as you see me, yet they Are very profound in speech that way.  Merid. 
And affect poesy it seems.  Frank. 
He means I suppose the least part on't which is rhyme.  Merid. 
I thank you for your information: in my whole Time I have not heard the like.  Frank. 
But to return to yourself again, whom I conceive to be No small wonder amongst the rest in agitation amongst Us.—  Peac. 
'Tis my desire I assure you to be the greatest:  Frank. 
I perceive it is; The Owl among the Birds Will be nothing to what you'll be.  Peac. 
I hope so Sir; and to tell you truly, I have such an Affection to that Bird, as I have altered my Coat of Arms, on that Consideration.  Merid. 
As how Sir, as how?  Peac. 
Why Sir, by placing the Owl there instead of the Eagle, Being a Bird not only more admired, but fitter to blazon A Coat than any other. I hope the heralds will be beholding To me for this invention.  Merid. 
By my heart a pleasant Imagination.  Frank. 
And reason too, since they have been so indiscreet hitherto As to express Coats of Arms as obscurely as the Egyptians Did their Hieroglyphics. A man cannot guests whether Originally they belonged to an honest man, fool, or Knave— but then Sir, for your Courtship?  Peac. 
What call you that?  Merid. 
He means love: A man of thy years and understand the Word no better!  Frank. 
And but even now confessed he had a Mistress  Peac. 
Now I conceive you Gentlemen; a little warm tickling Thing, I have felt it ere now about me, sleeping, and waking.  Frank. 
The very same.  Peac. 
Why then I would have you to know, my Amours (as I take It a Modish word.)  Frank. 
It is so.  Peac. 
That is to say my Amours, shall be of a newer mode And most suitable to my humour, and this Airy habit. To which purpose I have lately bid Adieu to my Mistress I told you of.  Frank. 
I could not have believed a man of your complexion Could have been so cruel.  Peac. 
In good faith, Gentlemen, I could contain no longer, And was fain to entreat her patience—  Merid. 
You have not beat her I hope, as you threatened you Would, on a late occasion.  Peac. 
No, by my life; and gave her as good Sugar, as ever was Given in words; but told her, she must excuse her friend Jack Peacock, if henceforward he did not love her so Well as himself.  Frank. 
If that be all 'tis excusable, since few love in this age. On other terms; the more shame for Cupid.  Peac. 
But Sir, I gave her to understand I would be in love With myself only, and that I was resolved to think that I am the Venus and Cupid, and not she.  Merid. 
This is somewhat extraordinary in deed.  Frank. 
And when came this humour into your Imagination?  Peac. 
But two hours ago, as I read the Fable of Narcissus, And have been so troubled ever since I cannot come at My own face to kiss it, that to be revenged of Fate I have broken a Dozen looking Glasses within this half-Hour: O I could so hug these Cheeks of mine!  Frank. 
I wish you could come at your posteriors with it.  Peac. 
Nay I can kiss any place that belongs to me, I have Begun with my Breast as sweetly as if they had been Dugs Of Venus, next to my Arms, and embrace myself Thus— then kiss my hands and Sigh, and so forward To my great Toe.  Merid. 
O Admirable! half a Dozen humours as new as This, would restore Comedy again.  Frank. 
Of which our Poets are in such want, or so barren of Invention, that without being a Naso, 'tis easy to scent Their Fox-like-thefts, from Plays and farces, to which they Not seldom add their own rank libels to complete their Number of Characters.  Merid. 
And in this Motly manner abuse their friends and Acquaintance.  Frank 
ay, and one another too, I have known it done.  Peac. 
O sweet self, sweet self! would to Heaven that Nature Or Art could afford me such another self.  Merid. 
This is such another Narcissus.  Frank. 
But a greater Fop than t'other was feigned to be— and I have a device will fit him to a hair.  Merid. 
Prithee let him know it.  Peac. 
How shall I love thee and admire thee enough, my sweet Pretty sine delightful self— O that I might be such Another self unto myself.  Frank. 
Well Sir, suppose I put your desires in a way to be served.  Peac. 
To be made such another man as I am, do you mean Sir?  Frank. 
What else Sir; to be such another man as you are without Staying the time to beget him, that's your desire?  Peac. 
The very same Sir.  Merid. 
Ha, ha; ha! he'd be made two and yet continue still one. There's no miracle above it.  Frank, 
And thus I advise you: There's in the City a man that I have heard of, who undertakes to effect strange things Without the help of Nature, nay, for a need in spite of Her Teeth.  Peac. 
As how Sir?  Frank. 
Why, by extracting of Essences, and Quintessences, with which He pretends to make Gold as fast as one will butter Eggs, or any thing out of nothing if he pleases.  Peac. 
This is the person I would know above the world. And what his profession?  Frank. 
He is called a Vertuoso in general, but held to be a Kind of Magician and Chemist together, and so forth.  Peac. 
he'll not raise a spirit I hope.  Frank. 
Not that any body shall ever see I'll warrant you, however By his Art he pretends to as great matters; as Restaurations of Nature, making the Elements a new, out Of which he can draw fire as pure, as that with which Prometheus kindled life in man first; and such feats as these.  Peac. 
Away Sir, to him by any means! but where shall I Find him?  Frank. 
That I forgot indeed, why he lives very near the Labour In vain, if you open your mouth in the next Street You'll hear of him, and withal let him know I Commend you to him.— I know he's fool enough To believe as great an impossibility.  [Aside, Peac. 
I wish that my Feathers would supply me with Wings That I might fly to him.—  [Ex. Peacock, Merid. 
You have sent him away in a Mood indeed; Nay, Believing that this Miracle shall be effected of him.  Frank. 
The vanity of his humour and weakness of his sense Does sufficiently comply to that purpose— Besides There's no better way to reform folly, than when it suffers By its own Extravagance: Too much of self-love in any Kind deserves some punishment.  Merid. 
A most ingenious piece of Justice.  Frank. 
And yet 'tis observable that soolery, as well as Knavery, has ever had a favourable growth amongst us.  Merid. 
Like that we see in Tulips, there's none more gaudy. Than the fool, or of better esteem— I suppose there May be found as good a Metaphor for the latter; but Give us Mirth, and honesty with it, and no matter on What Systeme the world moves.—  Enter Foppering. See! here comes Foppering. Frank. 
One that is as excellent in his kind as tother.  Merid. 
But not of so singular a Genius, as to be in love with himself.  Fop. 
Well brain of mine, I am beholding to thee for something.  Frank. 
I think not: now Mr. Foppering! how go matters?  Fop. 
So, so, Gentlemen.  Merid. 
Is that all from a man of thy invention?  Fop. 
My friends of Mirth, you shall not say that Tom Foppering Has not something extraordinary to say, if occasion serves.  Frank. 
I thought so— but hast not been at Civil wars with thy Wife again.  Fop. 
For my wife Sir, she and I agree as we please, and sometime Differ, if we think fit, tho' we know not why: There's Destiny in Marriage as well as in something else— you Know of.  Merid. 
We conceive you to a thread.  Fop. 
But I can tell you of a greater female wonder than you Have heard of yet, will you believe me?  Frank. 
As far as we have cause at least.  Fop. 
Fie, fie, you must allow something more to a friend Than that comes to; 'tis but an ordinary Civility as the World goes.  Merid. 
You shall have it then.  Fop. 
Why then I must tell you, we have strange times towards.  Frank. 
That may be believed; and Women to govern.  Fop. 
But my proof that we shall have such, is more miraculous Than all.  Frank. 
Proceed, we are a little in haste.  Fop. 
Nay, you must not be in too much haste neither, there are Degrees in all things; but to come to the matter.  Merid. 
Do prithee, I hate prolixity, as I do ill humour.  Fop. 
'Tis somewhat of the biggest to get out.  Frank. 
Swallow it back again.  Fop. 
But you shall have it egregiously— and know that I Tom Foppering saw this very Moon.  Frank. 
Where is she? this is day, and the Sun shining.  Fop. 
Nay, and you'll put me out, who can help it.  Frank. 
Suppose it the Moon then.  Fop. 
Why then Sir, I saw that very Moon, you and I suppose, put On a Milkmaids hat in yonder Grove last night.  Frank. 
And did not you make love to her?  Fop. 
In good sooth I could not choose.  Merid. 
You had been to blame else, and so acted Endymion's Part to purpose.— ha—  Fop. 
Nay, you know I can do as much with hand and foot As another— but it fell out we were prevented so Unluckily.  Frank. 
As how, ' prithee?  Fop. 
Why an unlucky Owl, gave a Whoop, and frighted her. To the very place you see her shine in now.  Frank. 
That's the Sun once more, Animal.  Fop. 
But left this Slipper behind her, which I will kiss Often, and call her Mistress still.  Merid. 
A Slip-shooed Moon.  Fop. 
But friends not a word to my Wife.  Frank. 
Or if she knew it, she'd hardly be jealous.  Fop. 
By the next Moonlight or before, you may know More perhaps of her favours.  Frank. 
In the mean time this tale of thine, does equal, if not ' Surpass, the greatest Doctor of Fables amongst all the Poets.  Fop. 
That's the ambition of my ingenuity, Sir.  Frank. 
I believe thee Tom! What a Dialogue had this been to have Punished Sir Grave Solymour with.  Merid. 
And the Exclamations he would have made against vanity Enough to have tired a dozen Vestals one by one. I was never so sick of Age, as since I knew his Gravity.  Fop. 
Please you Gentlemen that I go and make a relation to Him on purpose?  [Enter Crispina and Eugenia,. Frank. 
You shall not at this time. See here Are some of our Lady Magistrates.  [They go towards 'em. Crisp. 
How! Men, and come thus boldly towards us! where are Your manners?  Euge. 
I suppose you know we are Dames now.  Merid. 
And Pliant ones I hope, I should be loath to live an Hour longer else, as quick as I feel life about me.  Euge. 
A smart humour of an old one.  Crisp. 
But we are now to think of power, and men after As occasion serves.  Enter Petilla. Frank. 
But play not the Tyrant with us Ladies, we wish Your Dominion well, provided you'll love, and so forth.  Petil. 
My husband here! I'll stop a little—  [She hides herself. Crisp. 
'Twill not belong ere we shall acquaint you with what We require in order to your obedience.  Frank. 
We are your subjects already Ladies— but to tell you truth— Here is a Gentleman that is a small dissenter, having Had some difference lately with his wife, about Supremacy.  Fop. 
A small contest Ladies, as much as came to a blow with the Smart of my hand; or so.  Merid. 
And somewhat betwixt your feet, was't not?  Fop. 
I thank your remembrance; but I am so good natured that I chastise her first, and forgive her afterwards.  Petil. 
Do you so Sir?  [Discovers herself. Fop. offers to go out. Frank. holds him. Frank. 
Nay, make it good now Sir.  Petil. 
And has bragged I should be no Mistress Magistrate Of the Commonwealth, has he not?  Frank. 
I suppose he will not deny it.  Fop. 
Excuse me Sir, as I am a man in favour with the Stars I am in haste?—  Petil. 
I'll stay it a little— And have t'other Slipper of the Moons to sinned; have you so Sir?  [Offers to save himself behind Frank. Fop. 
As sure as she dropped this in yonder Grove Wife!  Petill. 
In the mean time, I could find in my heart to make Use of it about your pate.  Fop. 
Do not profane it so I beseech thee, tho' to tell thee the Truth, I cannot choose but be in love with her horns.  Petil. 
Perhaps I may bestow a pair on you in time— and then For your belying of me, and our Sex's Authority.  Fop. 
Thou know'st I love to talk for my Credit, or so.  Petil. 
And disparage my superiority, do you?  [Offers to beat him. Fop. 
By both my ears, which are at thy service, I Scorn it Wife.  Petil. 
Would I could come at thy tongue as well.  Merid. 
No more good Madam.  Petil. 
Am I fit to govern now Sirr ah?  Fop. 
By this hand of thine, which I kiss thus, and honour as the Sceptre of my obedience, Thou art, as thou know'st I was Never against it betwixt ourselves.  Frank. 
You must interpose Ladies, or here will be a battery at least.  Omn. 
La. Enough, enough, Madam.  Petil. 
And remember you come not near my bed till I command you.  Fop. 
Not I, by my manhood, of which thou hast had so often The better.  Petil. 
Perhaps I'll next send you to travail, and be sure if I Do, you return a fine Gentleman.  Fop. 
I'll do my utmost endeavour, Wife.  Frank. 
It may be, come back a verier fool than he went: I have known it so in some.  Petil. 
In the mean time expect my further orders— and take a care How you tell any more tales of the Moon.  Frank. 
Away, away Tom!— But for this accident we should Not have been rid of him so pleasantly.  Fop. 
But I'll be in love with the Moon, in spite of her Teeth, if I please.  [Ex. Fop Petil. 
Ladies! I beg your excuse for this passion of mine, tho' 'tis my Fortune to have a Husband of a more weak and impotent Sense, than some others in the World.  Crisp. 
We conceive you, Madam!—  Eug. 
A few more examples of this kind were motives enough For us to use our Legislative power against marriage; it Makes people fall so foul upon one another.  Crisp. 
That would live kindly otherwise. And consequently such a Mischievous Conjunction,  Petil. 
For what concerns my interest in a husband, might I Not be thought partial, I should give my vote with the First.  Merid. 
And how would you provide for love, Ladies, then. As Many years as I tell, I should be loath to live without it.  Frank. 
God a mercy for thy Quaere i'faith old boy.  Crisp. 
Methinks he should not be one and twenty by his humour.  Eug. 
Bating his age, I have not known any thing more Taking.  Crisp. 
But for your Quaere, 'tis as easily resolved as asked, There being many other ways to provide for the Toy you Talk of.  Petil. 
And may please flesh and blood as well I judge.  Crisp. 
Besides we women are not so little acquainted With those soft Intrigues, as to want due Caution, Without being beholding to a Matrimonial vow, which Men make no more conscience to break, than to gather Blackberries, or kindling of fire abroad, when their Own will not burn at home.  Petil. 
Gravely resolved! Here comes  Enter Serina and other Ladies. 
Our Precedent, and other of our Magistracy.  Serin. 
I perceive by your familiarities the men have complied.  Merid. 
We dare assure it you.  Frank. 
In order to which, you'll soon have the acknowledgements Of our late Magistrates.  Serin. 
'Tis well they have saved us the labour of obtaining our Rights otherwise.  Frank. 
What a Race of Amazons would these make?  Serin. 
Please you, to our affairs now.  Merid. 
But first Ladies I have a favour to entreat.  Serin. 
What is it?  Merid. 
That we join in a Dance, and as you have the Power Oblige us with a little of your mirth.  Serin. 
'Tis something unseasonable.— But what say you Ladies?  Crisp. 
I am not against it.  Omn. 
Nor any of us.  Serin. 
Begin then, and take your Lady, Sir.  Merid. 
By your favour Madam.  [Merid. takes out Eugenia Frank. 
And I'll be here!—  [To Crispina, Merid. 
And let the Tune be, A merry world my Masters.  Frank. 
You should have said Mistresses.  Merid. 
I meant as much.  Serin. 
For your Mirth's sake you shall lead the Dance, Sir.  Merid. 
I acknowledge it a favour Madam.  
Now Ladies you have not found Me old.  [They dance. Serin. 
You have youth in abundance still,  Eug. 
Were't not for a blush I would say something a little More kind.  Frank. 
Ladies we are yours.  Enter a man with Stools and Table. Merid. 
And if you have such another merry subject as  
Myself under your republic blame me for't!  Serin. 
Since you allow me the honour of  [Ex. Frank Merid. 
Being your precedent, my place is here.  Omn. 
With all acknowledgement.  Serin. 
And what shall be our future Government?  Eug. 
Say, we elect a Monarchess amongst ourselves.  Crisp. 
I dissent by your favour Madam, because not so natural In our Sex to endure a superior.  Petil. 
Right Madam, and the very reason, that induces not a few of us To be out of love with Matrimony, which doth rather establish The Tyranny of men, than the Law of nature.  Serin. 
Well said, smart one.  Eug. 
And has made her Husband sensibe accordingly.—  Aside. Crip. 
Is there not a government to be thought on, that admits neither Equal nor Superior, because it is most natural for Us Women to endure neither.  Serin. 
That's Impossible.  1. Lad. 
I find my inclinations to Anarchy.  2. Lad. 
And why, Madam?  1. Lad. 
Because most suitable to change.  Crisp. 
A reason womanish enough.  Serin. 
But that's no Government— My vote is rather For a Commonwealth, not only as it has been here before In Men, but as it brings us to a nearer equality.  Eug. 
But how shall we agree on wit, servants, and especially Beauty, since the most capital Emulation amongst women Is like that of the Goddesses, who shall be thought fairest.  Serin. 
That we must take upon our servants word, or trust our Glasses for— but what say you to a Commonwealth?  Crisp. 
I'll follow my Precedent. Eug. And I. Omn. And all.  Serin. 
Then from this hour begins our fair Republic.  Enter Messenger. Mess. 
Some of the City desire admittance.  Serin. 
They have it. Your business Citizens?  [Enter 4 of 5 Citizens. 1. Cit 
'Tis in the name of this City and Country, to present your Fair, and Gracious Republic, with all these representations Of power that belonged to us as men.  Crisp. 
A discreet Citizen!  [They deliver a Mace, Sword and Charter. Petil. 
And speaks home to our purpose,  Serin. 
But for your Charter, we'll Grace your City so far as to Grant a new one to your Wives.  1. Cit 
Nay Ladies entitle not our wives supreme, tho' you Command us.  2 Cit 
Let us continue our Prerogatives over them we beseech you.  Omn. 
How, how, how, the command of your Wives?  Petil. 
A very Treason, President, that would except their Wives the most trusty and sure confidents of our Government.  Omn. 
Away, Away!  1. Lad. 
You brow-Antler-men.  2. Lad. 
Things of more forehead than brain.  Petil. 
Speak against our Prerogative, you wagtails, to Little purpose!  Serin. 
Nay Ladies, you must be more moderate.  Petil. 
You must excuse us in this case.  Crisp. 
In which consists so essentially our supremacy.  Omn. 
Cit Good Ladies hear your Precedent.  Eug. 
For my share I'd be content with a reasonable accommodation.  Petil. 
But were you a wife!  Eug. 
I know not how my mind might alter then.  Serin. 
What we may determine in this case, aught to be With due respect and caution— and for your Wives, they May continue yours.  2. Cit 
We thank your Grace.  2. Cit 
A Comfortable Expression!  Crisp. 
We do not mean absolutely, so long as you please, But whilst they please, and you deserve their respects.  Petil. 
And are obedient Husbands, mark that Citizens.—  Omn. 
Lad. There we comply.  1. Cit 
Let me have power on mine, until she's old, I'll Desire her no longer, as I am a true Citizen of Utopia.  2. Cit 
And so of mine, whilst she is good conditioned, or honest, I ask no more.  3. Cit 
I was married but yesterday, and if you do not mitigate This decree, 'tis odds but she may long for change already, And part with me before I have had so much as the better Of her Virginity.  Serin. 
That were severe indeed.  Petil. 
Better an inconvenience, than a general mischief.  4. Cit 
My spouse is old, and to save her a labour, I am Content to depart from her first, if your Republic Shall think fit to allow it.  Serin. 
I suppose you would.  Eug. 
But that were against charity.  Crisp. 
And the humanity we allow.  Eug. 
Right, Madam: When the flower is gone, there is no reason To cast away the root.  Petil. 
I rather conceive we ought to judge them old, when we Find occasion, and not they presume to censure us for being so.  Serin. 
Betwixt both Sexes some mean were necessary, For which you shall be referred to our Courts, where every Particular Case shall have due respect, and justice.  1. Lad. 
But for Alimony, in case of separation?  2. Lad. 
I suppose when that's in question the men must sue Us.  Serin. 
As you are Superior they must, but not be vexed With delays by way of retaliation, as some of our Sex may pretend to have been: all cases shall have a Just and soon dispatch— you agree Ladies?  Omn. 
All with our Precedent.  Serin. 
So much is for your comfort, Citizens.  1. Cit 
Since we must be overwived, and topped every way, We cannot but acknowledge it.  Omn. Cit 
And so we humbly take our leaves.—  [Ex. Citizens. Serin. 
Having thus resolved of our government, 'twill be Requisite to consider how we shall maintain it. In relation to Peace and War.  Crisp. 
A necessary consideration: and no less the concern Of our ambitions and honour.  Eug. 
And must we likewise in imitation of the warlike Amazons lead our Sex to battle?  Serin. 
If cause require, we must.  Crisp. 
I hope there's none of us but dare.  1. Lad. 
Or we'll be more masculine than ever were those martial Females, and lead the men, who shall serve as soldiers Under us commanders.  2. Lad. 
I long to be a Captain.  Petil. 
I suppose I have showed you the way how to have the Better of men at home, in beginning with my Husband; Wherefore I expect no inconsiderable command otherwise.  Serin. 
But I hope, you'll not be obliged to fight; I should Be sorry to be your leader on such an account.  Eug. 
And I to be a follower, though I should as unwillingly Turn tail as any she amongst us.  Serin. 
Within we'll more at large debate of this and other Our concerns.  

And by our Rule let us instruct men so,  
That they may yield our virtue's greatest too.   [Ex. Omnes.  

The Third Act.  Enter Frankman and Featlin. Frank. 
Not acknowledged by your Father yet?  Featl. 
Nor ever like, if heaven be not more my friend than he.  Frank. 
Who does teach repentance, he ne'er means to practise: The common road of all Hypocrisy.  Featl. 
I blush for his sake.  Frank. 
And so do I; To see him declaim against vice, yet Privately affect it, as if there were no way to reform Prodigality, without being in love with Covetousness  Featl. 
Thence comes my injury and grief, for tho' his Nature be Severe, and not so good as I would wish my Father: his Covetousness does far exceed it.  Frank. 
A vice as universal as love, Featlin— But this is such A hideous Crime, I know not what to call it in him.  Feat. 
My Mother dying in my Infant years, as I was her only Most unfortunate Son, He as an Example of covetousness And Cruelty in Fathers, disposed of me for a small sum (tho' Very young) to be brought up; and since permits me not into His sight.  Frank. 
And for no cause.  Featl. 
Not as I ever knew, or can judge any, except he has Inclination to marry, and have other issue, or else give his Estate for his future Glory to erect an Hospital, or such Like act to preserve his Memory.  Frank. 
He is not so charitable, and use thee thus! A parish does not Apprentice out a Beggar's child a cheaper way, or a Gentleman his byblow, lest he should blush in the Future to own his issue— Dost thou not know him now?  Feat. 
I did not until lately showed him, nor will he know me If he might, by any application I can gather.  Frank. 
What kindness has providence vouchsafed thee For thy subsistence hitherto?  Featl. 
Some Jewels, which my Mother dying committed to a hand Of trust, have been the means I do appear so like myself; My manners I have travelled to improve; visited Camps, and Courts abroad, as the most generous Schools Of youth— But what will be my future destiny?  Frank. 
Trouble not thyself with Fate, as 'tis hidden from us, So let it take care of itself and us too, for Frankman. Be merry, and think my Sword, purse, and best wit shall Be at thy service.  Featl. 
Your expressions are too great and many applied to Me so much a stranger to you.  Frank. 
I do believe it just; that's obligation to a Gentleman. Besides the Government is now the womens'.  Featl. 
I understand it, Sir.  Frank. 
Thou hast a smooth face, and the Commonwealth has Many soft, and fair members to be laid hold on.  Featl. 
Some Ladies I have visited, and perhaps have my Concerns of love besides; so far I'll be Ingenious with you.  Frank. 
And much joy may it do thy heart! For my part, I had as leave see a Castril sport With the Wine, as a man generous and youthful, That has nothing to do with Venus.—  Enter Meredith. 
Sir Adam Meredith!—  
Here's a Gentleman that will deserve your acquaintance.  Merid. 
And is he Airy, Jocund, and gay, as his age declares him?  Frank. 
Doubt it not Sir, tho' at present he suffers by some concern, You shall know more at leisure.  Merid. 
Why then, I embrace thee brother youth as a Socio of My Mirth; thy father cannot wish thee better.  Featl. 
Would he did but as well— A humour I have not Observed at his years.  Merid. 
What are years to me? Tho' time has snowed on my head, I have a Summer in my heart, and am firm at the Centre still, Ladd.  Featl. 
May it continue Sir!  Frank. 
There's little doubt of that; 'thas been long his humour, & Rather improves of late.  Enter Peacock looking on himself and pruning of his Feathers. Frank. 
O! here's Peacock come again.—  Merid. 
One of the newest humours extant amongst us.  Featl. 
I believe it.  Frank. 
If you knew all you'd say more— He's in love with Himself.  Featl. 
That's no great novelty, since the greatest part of mankind Have kindness enough for themselves.  Frank. 
But he comes nearer Narcissus.  Merid. 
Or rather exceeds him.  Frank. 
And as you see, admires his looks, his proportions, and when He has done, makes love to himself all over.  Featl. 
And to his Feathers too, methinks.—  Frank. 
I'll tell you what he has endeavoured besides; make good What I say, Peacock!  Peac. 
as far as these Feathers can fly I am at your service Mr. Frankman.  Frank. 
Thou Bird of Manhood, I thank thee— And thou hast Been with the Artist I told thee off—  Peac. 
I have Sir.—  Frank. 
And has he performed?  Peac. 
To my utmost desire Sir; and like a most skilful Chemist Has extracted the same man as I am— out of me.  Frank. 
Look you there Gentlemen, he has been made twice without Being well begotten once— I told you there was more Miracle behind.—  Peac. 
By which means I am now in love with myself, twice Over, (that is to say) I am doubly the same.  Frank. 
As two individual things may be in one, that's his Meaning!—  Featl. 
This is novelty indeed.  Merid. 
Our Country is famous for nothing so much, and I hope I am Some part on't myself, I should be angry with my age otherwise— and how was this effected?  Peac. 
Why Sir, by only bidding me blow pretty hard into a Cruciter, I think he calls it.  Frank. 
A Crucible— thou Coxcomb!—  Merid. 
And what next?  Peac. 
Why Sir, I infused so much of myself into it, that meeting With fire and Air, artificially working together, perfected At last such another gross substance as I am.  Featl. 
This is a perfect Chemist I warrant him.  Frank. 
A Quack that I advised him to, for a little diversion, And punishment of his folly together.  Peac. 
And more for your comforts Gentlemen, he'll make you all as Many times over, if you please. Alas! he can make men As fast as they do Puppets; but that he is not willing To increase the price of Breadcorn, he has told me his Mind so far.  Frank. 
And what was his price? I suppose he used you well.  Peac. 
I assure you Sir, This second production of myself stands Me but in twenty nobles betwixt friends.  Frank. 
I knew he'd use you kindly.  Merid. 
By this good light, a man cannot get a child by the By, so cheap, let him use the best husbandry he Can.  Frank. 
And when shall we see this other self of yours?  Peac. 
Why Sir, so satisfy your curiosity, I will appear In my double person immediately.—  Merid. 
By any means Sir, methinks I long like a Maid in love, till I behold this prodigy.  Peac. 
Why Sir, I was but hard by a putting on another Habit, the Artist desiring that he or I in him Might continue a space with him while I was Talking with you here.  Merid. 
And be sure bring this great Master of Art with you. I would not lose the curiosity of seeing him.  Peac. 
I shall Sir, on your secrecy.  Merid. 
Fear nothing.  Frank. 
Nay; prithee dispatch.  Peac. 
I shall Gentlemen, and if any of you have a mind to Be made once more as I am, you may have it done.  Featl. 
A most new and excellent example Of self-love.  Ex. Peac. admiring himself often. Merid. 
A sign the world and time renews again— has not his Character been upon the Stage yet?  Frank. 
I believe not; Tho' the age has been so ransacked for humour, That men are in some fear to converse freely, lest they be Heard again in the next new Play.  Featl. 
That's some good fortune for him I'll assure you. But see— here comes the man-maker.  [Enter Orlando Curioso. Merid. 
Your name Sir?  Orlan. 
I am called Orlando Curioso.  Featl. 
A very Emphatical name.  Orlan. 
'T was bestowed on me in Spain; I assure you Sir, as no Small honour to my Art.  Frank. 
Nay, prithee let his Denomination alone, I'd as soon study Arabic or learn his Art (that signifies little more than Hard Words) as hear it twice.  Merid. 
O Sir, I remember you now, and have read your cures and works Set up like Trophies on posts and pillars of our City; Where amongst other things you undertook to reduce Age to Youth, and turn hair silvered over like mine By time, to a brown-colour, and soft as Gostimores— Is't not so?  Orlan. 
And am ready to undertake it if you'll prove my Experiments.  Merid. 
You shall excuse me Sir, I am young enough without it, I thank this heart of mine.  Orlan. 
I do such like feats, with some negligence Of my Art, and deeper Science, as the restoring of men And women to their first vigour, producing of hair As long as Perriwiggs, tho' they have shed from the Skull by siccation, and baldness, or other defects above Or below. If I look in a mouth, I know what tooth Will decay, and the minute when, preventing it accordingly.  Frank. 
And what more? I know you are but on the outside Of your Art yet.  Orlan. 
If a Lady be curious & would know her fortune by her hand, I spare her the labour and tell it by her eye.  Merid. 
A pleasant Symptom.  Featl. 
And most possible of all the particulars he has named yet.  Orlan. 
Or if she have a mind to dream pleasantly, she shall do It, as well at 50, as at 21. and so to fourscore or upwards. If a man or woman wear but a ring that has a small Tincture of my Art, they shall fall in love without being Beholding to Hymen.  Frank. 
Why, so they do already, Buzzard.  Orlan. 
Besides I have my several Spirits of Sulphur, Mercury And Salt.  Frank. 
The last of which will powder Beef, will it not?  Orlan. 
I have printed its use (amongst others) to that purpose. And for my Sulphur and Mercury, it does wonders As some Gallants can witness.  Featl. 
Cures the Itch, does it not?  Orlan. 
And what is got by the worst of Itches too— then for My Spirit of Salt of the world.  Merid. 
A soul of Salt we shall hear of.  Frank. 
And not enough for the Earth to produce.  Orlan. 
Nor the Sea neither; together with my Elixir proprietatis, Et procreationis.  Frank. 
That's a new word, the other I have known sold before.  Merid. 
But ne'er worth my buying.  Frank. 
No more of hard words.  Orlan. 
To conclude then, with the two last mysteries of my skill, I do all that can be desired by men and women.  Featl. 
That they shall not decay or die.  Enter Peacock and Euphorbus dressed like him, hugging one another. Orlan. 
The first I can say much to, & for the latter I may undertake It in time— there is a Paracelsian Recipe for that, called Ens naturae, as likewise how to make men (as you'll witness I perform) tho' not effectually practised by any man, Besides myself to this day.  Merid. 
And can you make a wise man out of a fool as easily, since The World does beget fools enough, without help of your Art.  Orlan. 
I do not say as easily, wherefore I do not care to effect many Artificial Examples of that kind, tho' nature (according to The learned) gives but one soul to all things in the most differing Bodies. If I am to deal with a wiseman, (as our art of Chemistry has been beholding to some so far as To honour it by the ruin of their estates) I deal one Way with him, if with a fool another; let this worthy Gentleman be my testimony.  Frank. 
A pertinent one.  
And have you performed this wonderful propagation of him In so short a time?  Orlan. 
I am as well prepared in an hour as in seven years.  Merid. 
I believe so.  [Aside, Orlan. 
Not any wait, as is usual (with Other Artists) on the most superlative operation I Undertake to produce.  Peac. 
I will justify thy Art Scholar, as I am doubly a man of Thy making. Observe here, Gentlemen—  Featl. 
How they kiss like Twins of two years old.  Merid. 
But he thinks he kisses himself all the while, that's The jest on't— and how many men have you made in This manner before.  Orlan. 
Not many Sir, or desire it, because not so gracious to Mankind, Who are willing to continue their natural way of Generation; Tho' I have had application made to me to that purpose From an Island newly inhabited in the Atlantick-Ocean, where They are necessitated (for want of people) to engender with Baboons, Drills, and Monkeys.  Featl. 
You are famous abroad as well as at home then?—  Orlan. 
As you see Gentlemen! Where I gain confidence and sit Instruments, my endeavours are not wanting.  Frank. 
I suppose so.  Orlan. 
'Tis not every Tree produces Cherries, nor every Quarry Diamonds; There must be a propensity in nature to assit Art.  Frank. 
And these your examples?  Peac. 
O my dear self, my dear self! How shall I love Thee enough, my dear self?  Featl. 
A pretty kind of love.  Peac. 
And this Eye, this Lip, this Cheek of mine, which no longing Maid living shall rob me of.  Frank. 
She were but ill sped if she did: but methinks the other Speaks not.  Eupho. 
Ga', ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, etc.  Orlan. 
But offers at it.  Eupho. 
Ga', ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, etc.  Frank. 
His name?  Orlan. 
He is called Euphorbus, in honour of Pythagoras' own Transmigration.  Merid. 
And is he to be always dumb?  Featl. 
A stillborn perhaps.  Eupho. 
dam, da, da, da, pa, pa, pa, pa, etc.  Orlan. 
He gargles words pretty towardly already, as children usually do; In time Sir, he may speak too, tho' in order of Nature, speech Comes not so soon as life.  Peac. 
I care not much if I talk always for him, and if any body has Any thing to say to him, they shall be answered by me in him.  Merid. 
Ha, ha, ha— one tongue serve two men.  Frank. 
Would it might serve two women too, the world would Not be so busy as it is.  Orlan. 
Gentlemen, your excuse: my works require me.  Frank. 
But hark you Sir, remember you do not practise to make More men; for this time I'll excuse you for Mirth's sake.  [Aside. Orlan. 
I understand you Sir.—  [Ex. Orland. Enter Foppering making of legs and looking upwards. Featl. 
Who have we here?  Frank. 
One that will tell you he belieus as much.  Featl. 
But not in love with himself too? is he?  Frank. 
No, but what is worse, dotes on his own lying, nay Sometimes will tell his tales so long until he be in love With them as much as if they were truths— after the manner Of some Poets, who dote on their fictions, tho' they abuse Credibility and truth together— Meridith has heard him as Well as I.  Merid. 
With Admiration!  Fop. goes up and down looking upwards.— Featl. 
But why does he continue Looking upwards thus?  Merid. 
O he seems to be in love with the Moon.  Frank. 
Ever since his Wife beat him with a slipper he pretended to Have found of Cynthia's own wearing.— But you Shall soon inform yourself— Mr. Foppering?  Fop. 
Cry your mercy Sir, I was very busy.—  Frank. 
And have you found the other slipper of the Moon's yet?  Fop. 
I shall have that or a greater favour from her.  Merid. 
Are you sure on't?  Fop. 
Tho' I have talked, or can talk as largely as you, or any Man, I'd have you to know I am serious now.  Merid. 
Very good Sir, proceed.  Fop. 
And so I will, as sure as she put her hand out of yonder Cloud to me but just now.  Featl. 
This is a Novelty fit to embrace with these.  Merid. 
How they continue kissing still!  Peacock & Deuphorbus embrace. Frank. 
And shall break their Bellies if they can with it Before I part them.  Fop. 
If Cynthia be but a virgin! I say no more—  Frank. 
You'll have her virginity than you mean.  Fop. 
Marry will I Sir, there shall be no other man in the Moon Besides myself, whatsoever the Poets my master's report Of Pan, Endymion, or any shepherd of Arcadia: and I Suppose a Gentleman may be allowed as much privilege by Her Ladyship in point of fiction, or otherwise.  Merid. 
This is rarely pleasant.  Frank. 
And the more, because his humour does rather heighten Than decrease.  Peac. 
Mr. Foppering.  Merid. 
What joy here's towards.  [All three embracing. Fop. 
Mr. Peacock.—  Peac. 
And somewhat more yours; tho' the same yours still.  Fop. 
As how Sir?  Peac. 
Why; I am doubly made.  Fop. 
By whom?  Peac. 
By a Virtuoso, an Artist, a Paracelsian, who has produced This man out of me.  Fop. 
And I'll embrace your twofold self then— nay more I'll report it for a truth, and swear it when I have done. I have wanted such a story a great while— tho' I thank Heaven I have some fictions of my own.  [Aside. Merid. 
Ha, ha, ha,- methinks I could laugh as many years More than I have lived, to be thus surprised with humour.  [Aside. Frank. 
To which I'll undertake to add some mirth.  Euphor. 
Oh, oh! that kiss was a little too hard.  Featl. 
He begins to speak now.  Peac. 
You are mistaken Sir, 'twas I in him.  Frank. 
Nay, friends you have hugged sufficiently.  Peac. 
Can a man make too much of himself Sir?  Frank. 
I think he may! What say you, if it were varied with a dance?  Peac. 
With all my heart Sir.  Fop. 
And mine, I was just thinking of it.  Euph. 
Ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta.  Featl. 
He could find in his heart to speak again.  Peac. 
Now for the dance Sir.  Frank. 
You'll perform that doubly too.  Peac. 
I'll assure you, I will; nay, I'll out do the imitation Of Dotterills in my double self— if I move An Arm here— I move there another—  [Euphor. imitates him. 
If a leg, my same leg answers me again in his:  
To which purpose you shall see me dance.  Fop. 
Let me be a witness to this miracle I beseech you, Since I am not beholding to my invention for a greater.  Merid. 
Ha, ha, ha. There's no containing from laughter, Was there ever such an Antique as this?  Euphorbus and Peacock dance. Featl. 
I think not.  Frank. 
Well, Gentlemen, thanks for our Mirth.  Peac. 
You should have more, but that I have some desires To withdraw thus, and make much of myself.  Fop. 
And I have occasions of some concern.  Frank. 
To know of one Almanac-maker or other when the Moon will rise: farewell, farewell.  Ex. Peac. and Euphor. hugging: and Fop. gazing Ex. Enter Sir Grave Solymour and Celinda, in discourse. Featl. 
Who's this, my Father leading of Celinda—  Merid. 
Sir Grave Solymour handing of a fair Lady. Who could Have expected such an object amongst the rest?  Frank. 
And treads with such a demure Gravity as the Spaniard Does, when leading his woman to the next Couch, could I But prove him guilty of such a formal transgression.  Merid. 
we'll not interrupt them.  Frank. 
By no means— but be sure Featlin thou fall'st on the rear Of him; I have something in the wind, I'd have thee smell out Further.  Featl. 
I conceive you Sir, though the sight be not so welcome.  [Ex. severally. Celin. 
All this expressed to me Sir?  Soly. 
Call it my Justice Lady— who am not led by Common appetite to admire alone the beauties of your Face, but with it join your other virtues.  Celin. 
For your compliment I must thank you at least.  Soly. 
I can explain my conceptions better: I do not find that in this Giddy world of womens' rule, you have filled a seat of Magistracy in scorn of us that governed, or given the busy Tongues of men occasion to discourse.  Celin. 
I live, Sir, free and innocent, I hope.  Soly. 
It speaks your modesty and sober prudence, which renders you Fit to receive the addresses of my gravity, for which I'll so Far reconcile unto your sex, as to declare myself your Lover.  Celin. 
I will not say I hate you for't; nor shall I much deny But that I live as you observe, enough reserved unto my Thoughts and privacy.  Soly. 
And therefore fitter that your bosom close so grave a Secret as my love; I would not for my wealth, the vain And ruling women should report that in this hour of their Vanity, Sir Grave Solymour met with a Dart of Cupid, Or were toying with a Mistress, though the delights of Venus Have a charm upon the stout, and wisest hearts, as unresisted By the Armed Soldier, as the Statesman's gravity.  Celin. 
A Gown-man that is willing to steal to a Petticoat—  [Aside. 
Well Sir; I now conceive you fully.  Soly. 
Do, and enjoy me so.  Celin. 
But as you are pleased to allow me your respects, and the Attribute of being wise, so it behooves me to consider.  Soly. 
What, my fair Creature?  Celin. 
How and when to love you?  Soly. 
Do my sweet; but let the time be short: Loves flames like Fire, devour themselves when too long smothered.  Celin. 
Besides our female Magistracy have not as yet resolved Upon their Laws of love; I suppose they intent to Make some.  Soly. 
Let them for themselves, but not for us, and would no Less become my gravity to consult their approbation; we'll be a Commonwealth unto ourselves, all delights Shall flow on thee to be bought with Gold, (which I Spare not to feed my secret pleasures;) my Jewels made Thy Ornaments and myself thy greater treasure— nay Look not on me as I am in years, or have a wrinkle on My brow.  Celin. 
That's no wonder Sir, The Fox is gray before he's good.  Soly. 
I can perform Lady, doubt it not.  Celin. 
By no means Sir— but what must I do to recompense This bounty?  Soly. 
Love, and be secret.  Celin. 
That's in my power I confess— but were you used to Exclaim so much against vanity, and have now such an Itchtowardsit.  Soly. 
The cautious man will act, but hide his crime, 'tis wise Hypocrisy; which caused me often to blame men's levitieses And vainer inclinations which express those Symptoms of the Heart should be reserved: 'Tis scandal that makes sin, not Sin the scandal.  Celin. 
A most solid piece of Lechery  [Aside]— 
I crave your pardon (Sir, I Thought Sin had been something more than a word.  Soly. 
'Tis so when scandalous and known, that even a God was Censured (as wiser Poets tell) being taken in embrace: Nature invites to secrecy, and all her operations acteth so, Which does instruct the cautious Deer to guide his soft and Amorous Hine unto some Covert to be there enjoyed.  Celin. 
A cautious way of concupiscence  [Aside.]— 
well Sir, I perceive You want no manhood, and I'll touch it to the quick.  Soly. 
With all my heart Lady.  Celin. 
Then soberly thus, were you ever married?  Soly. 
Some long time past.  Celin. 
And have you not a Son?  Soly. 
I think I had one.  Celin. 
And is he living?  Soly. 
I wish him so— and that's some blessing▪ I never did affect To dally with my Cradle, or the permitting of the expense That youth requires, parents that love themselves know How to be more provident; like to the Bird that early Does discharge her young ones from her care, and nest that bred Them— some small provision I have allowed his education, And leave the rest unto his wit and fortune.  Celin. 
A sober sort of ill nature— nor would you see him, perhaps Don't know him now.  Soly. 
Some Sixteen years have been elapsed since I beheld Him young, and sooner would I keep my Coffin in my Sight than him that hopes to be made happy by my death; Or with an evil eye, behold the riches I possess, of which He is not to partake; nay more, perhaps might envy or Oppose my will and choice, or think my love and bounty is Too great, although it purchase such an object as yourself.  Celin. 
Perhaps he might.  Soly. 
Let these assure you!  [Offers her a Necklace. 
They are bright and Orient.  Celin. 
No Sir, you shall keep your stones for some other time or Service! tho' I know well a present is one of the first, and most Considerable Expressions 'twixt servant and Mistress— you are not In haste I know.  Soly. 
No more, than what is proper for our loves, and hope you'll Soon deserve this, or a richer favour.  Celin. 
When I do, I shall expect it.  Soly. 
I like this answer well— and I'll be no less sparing of my Cost When I have enjoyed her— a feat our Gallants practise  [Aside. 
Often— But Lady, loves time is not so slow as that We tell, and all his Counsels like his acts should be swift And pleasant; too long a frost's unpleasant to the spring.  Celin. 
The day is not far spent, although the first that dates Our body politic— some business does require me, Within an hour; you'll know more of my compliance.  Soly. 
Till when farewell: and remember 'tis love's prudence to Be secret.  Celin. 
Doubt it not Sir.  [Ex. Solymour. 
Well politician, if I do not fit your hot desires For this, may I lose my virginity to a Constable.  Enter Featlin. 
Mr. Featlin! you are come according to my wish, I Have such news to tell you.—  Feat. 
As how prithee?  Celin. 
Why, I have such an interest in your father to do you Service, thou couldst not have wished the like.  Featl. 
Perhaps I should not—.  Celin. 
Thou wouldst, since 'twill assure his favour, and what is (wanted More by the considerable part of his estate.  Featl. 
It must be a strange Artifice can have the better of his Severity and covetousness.  Celin. 
Leave it to me, I'll make him pliant as the Glove I wear, Be assured on't, as I wish thee well.—  Featl. 
I hope thou dost— But by what means?  Celin. 
By a common and easy Method, why man he loves me Abominably.  Featl. 
Is that a way to cure my sufferings? which must give a greater Wound, my father's love to rival mine; all my afflictions. Summoned could not have equalled this.  Celin. 
Be not suspicious but expect the end, 'tis that completes An action.  Featl. 
I fear too soon.  Enter Serina, Eugenia, Crispina, Petilla, with two other Ladies. Celin. 
But see, we are interrupted; I must apply myself to our female Politicians.  Featl. 
Celinda!— false unto my Love— 't were strange,  [Aside. 
But Riches are too oft Precedent when they Rival want,— Or perhaps some stratagem only of her wit, and so would Hold my thoughts suspended— I know not what to judge.  Serin. 
Madam, we expected your assistence  [Ex. Featlin. 
In our Counsels.  Celin. 
Some affairs required my absence which I hope you'll Pardon, nor do I want desires to serve the interest of Our fair Republic.  Serin. 
We doubt it not— but now we are on a point Deserves it most, I mean of Love.  Celin. 
A most necessary consideration.  Crisp. 
In order to which, I think fit it should be enacted that No man presume to make love first, except he be Commissioned by our Republic for that purpose.  Petil. 
A just motion, and becomes our superiority.  Eug. 
But where's our Modesty, if we begin to woe?  Petil. 
That's to be no Clause in our Act.  1. Lad. 
Nor need it be our concern— there are some of us Can be as bold and ne'er blush for't.  Crisp. 
Besides there is some state in restraining the bold Presumptions of men, in making their addresses To us with their caps, and knees, and frivolous Services; that we are sometimes not a little vexed with Their importunities, and our habitations as much troublld. With these Spirits of love, as Women of pleasure are, That have too frequent visits from our Town Hector's,  Serin. 
There is some weight in this consideration.  Celin. 
And will save fools the labour of making love.  Petil. 
Would I had prevented the Fop my Husband That way too— but as the case stands, I do well Enough.  1. Lad. 
I am for't— 2. Lad.— And so am I  Eug. 
And I indifferent.  Celin. 
And so in hats, and feathers, a woeing shall we?  1. Lad. 
And boots and spurs too, if occasion requires; I'll have some in readiness on purpose.  2. Lad. 
And so have I.  Serin. 
But Ladies a little moderate this decree, and as men Have had the superiority in love, and marriage; let Them be the first Movers still, and you the last.  Omn. 
No, no, we'll begin and end too.  Celin. 
A Commonwealth of love towards indeed.  Serin. 
But if this violence continue I shall be soon Weary of my office.  Petil. 
Then for another consideration, of which we Wives are Not a little sensible— which is, the Abilities of men.  Serin. 
How mean you, Madam?  Petil. 
I mean internal, and external, I have some reason To move for both.  Celin. 
As likewise a Consideration of the old, and fusty pieces Of antiquity, who have such relics of their sinful Youth, as they will offer at love in spite of nature.  Petil. 
Out upon 'em, let's banish them our Commonwealth.  Eug. 
That were too extreme as the other's immodest.  Petil. 
By your favour no more, than if I bargain for a pair Of Gloves, I look whether they are handsome and well Made; or on a horse, and consider whether he be sound Of wind and limb: besides, Innumerable objections Which are not convenient, or decent to be made, but as We give private Judgement.  1. Lad. 
Besides that, it is a just retaliation of the Intrigue which men are bold to hold with our Waiting-women and Chambermaid's, to discover If possible, our least imperfections.  2. Lad. 
As whether we have sweet Breathes, good teeth, and the Hair that we wear our own, or in what part Wanted, nay will question our very complexions too, That we cannot use a small Fucus without their discourse And Censure, and so have a Jury of their wits sit upon Every feature about us.  Petil. 
Perrhaps Lampoon us and our Husbands when they have Done.  Crisp. 
In so much as we cannot receive Courtships, keep our Decorums, formalities, and state, as we should do.  Petil. 
Or be suffered to grow old in quiet for them.  Eug. 
That's a hard case believe me.  Petil. 
A most insupportable one.  Serin. 
Ladies, this is too womanish, and violent— let me moderate.  Petil. 
I could find in my heart not to hear reason in their Behalf.  1. Lad. 
Nor I, except I like it, or such as may be superseded By our wills, when we find occasion.  2. Lad. 
Spoke like a Commonwealth's woman.  Crisp. 
Nay we must hear our Precedent.  Eug. 
By any means.  Serin. 
Then mark what I propose— say, we appoint women Commissioners, who shall satisfy your desires with Prudence and modesty.  Petil. 
That word Modesty may be prejudicial.  Serin. 
I mean such as shall pass due Censure on the humours, Inclinations and other qualifications of men; giving us Information accordingly.  Crisp. 
This sounds discreet.  Eug. 
And of Latitude enough.  Petil. 
I was never against it.  Omn. 
Nor I, nor I, nor I.  Serin. 
And so give us a list of those who are fit to make love, Marry, or continue still Platonics.  Crisp. 
For Platonics; my vote is to strike them out of The Particular, as Drones that would have the Honey Of Courtship and do nothing for it.  Omn. 
By any means.  Serin. 
They shall be excepted then— and for the rest we'll Have our inquiries that shall be sufficient.  1. Lad. 
Let it be effectual, and speedy.  Serin. 
It shall be done to day, though the first of our Government.  Omn. 
To day, to day, to day:  Serin. 
And the last of my being your Precedent, Ladies, If this mood hold.  [Ex. Omnes.  

The Fourth Act.  The Scene opens with two Pillars with decrees on them on both sides the Stage. Enter Sir Adam Meridith and Frankman. Merid. 
WEll, Frankman, here are pretty decrees legible: I Believe we have yet a more jocund world towards—  [Observes the pillars. Frank. 
Let it come and welcome; but methinks this clause sticks In a tender place of me, Meridith: not to make love Without a dispensation; or except such as are pleased to be our Mrs. give the onset First, I did not expect such limitations from this fair Republic.  Merid. 
Better, and better, by my love and manhood, to see them Bestow their addresses first, and Cry, Your humble Lady ready To serve you, how well you look to day, would I might Be so happy to be preserved in your thoughts, and the like Dallying we use to them, which will be such a pleasant Inversion of our amours, there's nothing can parallel it.—  Frank. 
Nay, I believe 'twould puzzle a better Poet than ever writ Of the Art of loving: for my part, if we 'scape a Jury of Women with Spectacles commissioned to make a survey of Us naked, 'Tis more than I look for.  Merid. 
Let the Bona Roba's do what they please, I am without and Within the same.  Frank. 
There's no superiority to be expected but lying uppermost, And that I suppose they will allow us.  Enter Polidor. Mer. 
Who have we here?  Frank. 
The noble Polidor— but the world's altered since he left Us a Commonwealth of men.  Merid. 
Most noble Sir! your arrival's welcome here.  Frank. 
Exceeding welcome!  Polid. 
I thank you kindly— and since I parted from this Country on the public service, I find our State Has suffered no small Metamorphosis in changing of Our Sex that governed.  Frank. 
They claimed it as their right.  Polid. 
I think they might, although we have but few Records can show the practice, which tells us that The women of this age have more confidence than their Sex had formerly.  Merid. 
For my part Sir, I could not find in my heart to Contest against the government of Ladies.—  Frank. 
Besides here was such a Caterwauling with the whole sex, And their Talons of power so egregiously manifested On some visages of our overwived Citizens, till they yielded Their Necks to their Yoke, that there was no withstanding.—  Polid. 
I cannot blame them to submit, if the assault was so Fierce.  Frank. 
Many of us could not choose but smile, and let it pass.  Merid. 
And I amongst the rest; tho' the experience I have had In the world might prompt me otherwise, the youth I Find about me did forbid it.  Polid. 
You preserve your frank humour still, Sir?  Merid. 
Rather increase it— I should be loath that in the last Scene of my life whensoever it comes, my spirits should Fall.  Polid. 
And who are the most remarkable Politicians?  Frank. 
Why, every man's Wife and Daughter in their several capacities.  Polid. 
Their Husbands cannot choose but fare well then.  Frank. 
I suppose they have not beheaded any of them yet, Though they make bold to cut off their intails. It may be They will draw up new Indentures with others shortly if Cause require.  Polid. 
A strange revolution of things.  Merid. 
To which purpose I expect love should be made to Myself by some of them.  Polid. 
Are they to begin then?  Frank. 
'Tis a Decree fixed here, and in most Streets; at one Of which places I observed a woman pictured in a hat And Feather, Booted, and Spurred, ready to take her wooing Progress.  Merid. 
And was it not pleasant?  Polid. 
As a Novelty I confess, and 'tis odds but some of them Will put on Arms, and make War shortly.  Merid. 
Were not our men too kind to give them the trouble.  Polid. 
Or for want of enemies fight with one another.  Frank. 
Such as take upon them to be the chief Patronesses of Their Republic are the Ladies, Serina, Crispina, Eugenia.  Polid. 
Serina too! I thought she had been without this ambition.  Frank. 
Some did expect as much, but Power has no few Idolaters of that Sex amongst their other superstitions.  Polid. 
How does she carry it?  Frank. 
With moderation becoming a Lady of her Birth, and in All extremes as much as in her lies tempers the rest. In So much that were this monstrous Democracy of ours Transformed into Monarchy, she might deserve to be A partaker in the Throne.  Polid. 
It speaks her worth.  Enter Serina and Celinda. 
Here Comes Serina.  Frank. 
And with her Celinda, an ingenious Lady.  Polid. 
In some discourse, we'll wait their leisure—  [Whisper. Serin. 
Is't possible he should attempt your virtue?  Celin. 
With as much zeal as if I had spread my Art for him.  Serin. 
And yet would have the world believe otherwise, Which gained him such an exemplary repute Of a sober Magistrate with the vulgar.  Celin. 
But Madam, there are many Maxims of Hypocrisy With such Politicians as are, or would be in power, While Covetousness or some few Grains of amorous Concupiscence betrays their frailty: Let the world be governed By Commonwealths, or Princes, 'tis odds that one or both Of these vices will have some Predominance.  Serin. 
I hope 'twill not be so, whilst Women rule; besides this Action of Sir Grave Solymour offends the law we have Established, which says, that men should not begin their Courtships to us.  Celin. 
And especially when they offer them the wrong way; could I devise some just punishment for him, I hope the Act Would be excused by our Republic.  Serin. 
It shall have my vote at lest— if not to enlarge It, if Cause shall require.  Celin. 
That does my business.  Serin. 
I perceive that Polidor's returned.  Celin. 
But this day— By your leave Madam.—  [Ex. Celinda. Polid. 
Serina, I was just wishing an opportunity to wait On you, which you now prevent.  Serin. 
I am little more reserved than when I saw you last.  Polid. 
But power in women, as well as love, will have its Distance.  Serin. 
I never acted yet the Tyrant's part, nor shall begin With you.  Polid. 
I know you are Gracious.  Serin. 
Such thoughts can only elevate the mean of Mankind That forget themselves and duties when raised to greatness; I do not curl a lock the more because our Sex does Govern— And so farewell Sir.—  [Offers to go out. Merid. 
Short and sweet.  [To Frankman. Frank. 
But I hope 'twill not end so.  Polid. 
Nay Madam! you must not part thus— you'll Remember I am Polidor.  Serin. 
And that's as much as I think sit to do at this time, If you offer more, you know our Law—  [Offers to go again: Polid. 
By your fair self.  [He stays her. Serin. 
Take heed Sir how you swear, we have lately made a Law Against Lover's Oaths, and Perjuries— but to assure you I Forgive you—  Polid. 
May I have your hand for't.  Serin. 
Yes, and lead me by it— but if you offer at love—  [Ex. Serin. and Polid. Frank. 
I hope she'll save him the labour and begin, According to our new mode of wooing.  Merid. 
If she does not do as much as that comes to, She's not such flesh and blood, I take her for.  Frank. 
Her Extraction's eminent, and his (if well examined) From our ancient Stock of Princes, and should they But mix souls kindly, what a change might this Various state of ours receive?  Merid. 
As I wish men and women well, it should have My consent.  [Enter Peacock in haste. Peac. 
By your favours Gentlemen!  Merid. 
Oh, Mr. Peacock, is it you? and where's your other Self Euphorbus?  Frank. 
Perhaps he has made his transmigration into Some other body already.  Peac. 
I left him Sir behind (that's I in him) to deliver a Message, I thought fit to express myself.  Frank. 
Such a Consubstantian as this would exceed all Pythagorical wonder, and belief.  Peac. 
But to be serious.  Frank. 
And such a jest present as thyself.  Enter Euphorbus. Merid. 
O here comes his other Manhood.  Peac. 
By your leave a little Gentlemen, I must First make much of my absent self before I Acquaint you with my business.  [Hugs him. Merid. 
Was there ever such a hugging as this?  Euph. 
O, O, O,— my Mouth, my Eye, my Ear will be kissed off.  Frank. 
And 'twere in his belly, I dare say he'd digest it.  Merid. 
Did you not hear his tongue wag even now?  Peac. 
Who! I hear myself! I hope I do.—  Frank. 
And so bitterly, that I believe there's Tears in's eyes yet.  Peac. 
I'd have you to know, I am no whining Lover, tho' this Be myself Lover.  Merid. 
This had been a humour to have entertained Democritus.  Frank. 
Or rather that other Philosopher that wept for the folly of men. But Sir— to your desire, we are in haste.  Peac. 
And mine is a nimble question— I desire to be resolved Whether in this womanish state of ours (as I would be Some Novelty amongst the rest) you hold it requisite that We who are two in one should make love together Likewise.  Frank. 
A very pertinent question!  Merid. 
And would put the most serious Ladies of our Country To a smile to answer.  Frank. 
In my judgement your best way will be to make Your applications to that Sex, who can better resolve you: Though I believe if you can make your double unity Good, you may not be unwelcome to some.  Peac. 
Suppose than you were the Lady, I would kiss My hand thus— and so in him.—  [B kiss. 
Then sir, when I presume to the Cheek, as I do To yours.  [Offers to kiss Frankman. Frank. 
Hold, hold I prithee.  Peac. 
And for this old Youths likewise,— I would do thus!  Merid. 
And shalt for that word, and welcome too, if there were Ten of thee more.  [Meridith lets him kiss him. Frank. 
Away, away, that I may wipe my mouth In quiet.  Peac. 
And if I meet with an Amour I will kiss her as I am One, and for the rest I will perform it as I am two, that Is to say twice in once.—  Ex. Peac. Euphor. Merid. 
Well, Frankman, thou hast been a little guilty With this Mountebank Virtuoso of this extravagancy.  Frank. 
I confess it, being willing to inflict some punishment On his folly, it being a Sin that is ever best corrected By itself.  Enter Solymour in haste. Merid. 
See here comes Sir Grave Solymour.— with his Cod's Head in querpo— one that I abominate as my Antipathy in Age, or a satire against mirth.  Frank. 
I conceive you— and tho' he seems in haste Shall we stay him, and tease him a little?  Merid. 
Till he fret himself to death, for Meridith.  Frank. 
You shall give the first onset, Sir Adam.  Merid. 
Content, content.  [Merid. stays Solymour. 
And whither in such haste good Grave Sir.  Soly. 
I suppose you have nothing to do to examine me.  Merid. 
Not your business if I could guests it. However I'll Presume to tell you that I wonder you have not yet Took up your stand underone of yonder pillars, And there made your exclamations against vanity, where I assure you Sir, are things worth your perusal,  Soly. 
I know it, I know it; but impose not on my thoughts At this time!  Frank. 
There's not such a contrariety betwixt any of the Elements As is in the dispositions of these two pieces of Antiquity, And no less pleasant to observe.  [Aside. Merid. 
By my troth Sir, but that you are a man of patience, I might have expected you had come to have hanged Yourself yonder.—  [Pointing to the Pillars. Soly. 
Good Sir, leave me, I have urgent occasions.  Merid. 
I mean to give you Counsel for your good, Sir.  Soly. 
Me Counsel, Sir?  Merid. 
I say you, Sir,— and tell you plainly the dangers you may Incur, if you do not immediately lay aside your stiff Formality, set speeches against Sin; in order to your Conformity with our female Government.  Soly. 
I will be changed into an Hermaphrodite rather, And be slave to both Sexes at once— but I remember I am in haste, Sir.  Merid. 
But take good speed along with you Sir, and as you Are kind to yourself, be gay, sportly; Hawk, Hunt, Sing, Dance, and strive to cut Capers, as I can, and will To instruct you—  [He Capers] 
Now Frankman Do thou give him t'other heat— I know thy wit is ready On all occasions.  Frank. 
To save your Lungs a labour, Sir, I'll do my best.  Soly. 
Another Comical Satirist to fall on me?  Frank. 
You may make Mirth on't, if you please, Sir.  Soly. 
What do you mean by thus irritating me Mr. Frankman? Or has any of the Predominant Ladies Given you commission to abuse me.  Frank. 
So Grave a man as you are, restrained from the Enjoyments of flesh and blood— I cannot blame you to be moved Sir, nay though You cursed a little, I think the Crime might be Forgiven you.  Soly. 
Rather let us pray for them.  Frank. 
You mean as some Professors do, whose Satirical Devotion may pass for Execration and prayer together.  Soly. 
Good Sir, no more.  Frank. 
In the mean time, give me leave to hint you a little.  Soly. 
Hint me to pray, Sir.  Frank. 
Only some general notions to be added to your Litany.  Soly. 
So you will cease this molestation of me, I am Content that you Curse, nay Curse effectually all Woman Kind.  Frank. 
Of this Commonwealth you mean?  Soly. 
Not one to be exceped— but such I design To enjoy.—  [Aside. Frank. 
As for example, that to spite their future pleasure There might be no procreation with their help: But rather that posterity might be continued as easily As Fly-blowings, or come together by chance like Epicurus' Atoms— this had been an execration on Their Republic indeed.  Soly. 
Enough, enough, Sir.  Frank. 
Or in stead thereof (if you think fit) that every member Of it be debauched by the men they govern— have I hit you there Sir?  Soly. 
As it is their desert I comply— Let that suffice at This time, I beseech you.  Frank. 
You have done pretty well I confess.  Soly. 
I know it, nor shall it be mentioned to your prejudice By me, and so farewell Grave Sir.  Merid. 
This Scene of vexation was pleasant.  Frank. 
I had ends in't: come, I'll tell thee more as we walk, And next to acquain Featlin.—  [Ex. Frank. and Merid. Soly. 
I can't but smile in spite of my temper To think how this Satirical compliance of Mine against women, will render me unsuspected In my Amorous design— He that knows not How to dissemble, knows not how to live, was a Wise Apothegme of the Ancients; and I'll add, to Love with dexterity and free from the Scandal of Tongues: He that purchases a Mistress, buys love at His own rate, but he that marries, rather sells himself— Celinda must be just, and no less private In my reception; since beneficial Interest does Oblige it, the surest tie of love; which must yield Me a revengful pleasure in the enjoyment Of so fair a member of this Anti-common-wealth. But yet me thinks I find some fears about me, Like a man that intends a theft within sight of The Gallows.—  Enter Celinda veiled, but puts it up when she sees Sir Solymour. 
But here she is— Posts by Your leave.  Celin. 
Dispatch Sir, dispatch.  Soly. 
I was hasting to thee, but that I met with an Interruption, I could have cursed by the way— And are we secure and quiet?  Celin. 
Without noise so much as the falling of a Mousetrap.  Soly. 
Excellent, fair one, I thank my stars and thee.  Celin. 
And I mine as much, for conspiring to do our love's Justice, I'll lead you the way.  Soly. 
To a part of thy bed I hope.  [Enter Featlin observing. Celin. 
You are right Sir, but it shall receive You by day to avoid suspicion.  Soly. 
A safe device— Come, thou shalt be my down there, I need no other softness— my Imagination's on Fire till I enjoy thee.—  [Ex. Soly. and Celin. Featl. 
It must be she; I know it by her voice— and in My Father's hand, in whose address to her consists A higher injury than my being so long neglected and Forgotten in his thoughts,— what's my Misfortune!  Enter Frankman. Frank. 
O here's Featlin! What in a fit of Melancholy! And in such days as these! fie man— fie—.  Featl. 
O that Father of mine.  Frank. 
Would he were married to a Gypsy, provided his Estate were thine.  Featl. 
I thought my afflictions gentle, until confirmed That Celinda did receive his addresses.  Frank. 
But I have turned the tide I warrant thee, and put him In such a hideous apprehension of the Superscription of these objects, and his danger,  [Points to the Pillars. 
That he'll as soon hang on one of them as proceed, For thy further security; and so aggravated the matter, As I made him as good as curse Mothers, Wives, and Daughters, together with their whole Republic.  Featl. 
But what's all this to me, when this very minute He was received by Celinda.  Frank. 
Art ' sure on't?  Featl. 
Or my Sense fails me.  Frank. 
And did I hope! If not, the Commonwealth of Jury Had never such a Pharisee, and Publican together as He is.—  Enter Waiting Woman. Featl. 
I wish I could deny it justly.  Wom. 
Mr. Frankman and Mr. Featlin, My Lady Celinda Desires the presence of you both, with what speed You may, in her Lodgings.  Frank. 
What's the business?  Wom. 
A Woman's, you know what that means.  Frank. 
Then 'tis love.  Wom. 
And marriage together it may be. Sir Grave Solymour was just ending with a Sack-possit As I came to you.  Featl. 
Did not I tell you?  Frank. 
A mischief on her if it prove true, Featlin.  Wom. 
You'll be there Gentlemen?  Frank. 
'Tis like we may.  Wom. 
And if you please, invite some other of your friends.  Frank. 
This is strange! and yet methinks I  [Ex. Wai. Woman. 
Like well that we are to be present— Courage Featlin; there must be good some way or other Towards thee.  Featl. 
I know not what to think!  Frank. 
Celinda's wise, and love has many Intrigues; think No more, but follow me.—  [Exeunt both. The Scene opens and discovers a Bed. Enter Sir Grave Solymour. Soly. 
HEre lies Celinda, the treasure of whose beauty I must now possess, and 'tis my riches she'd enjoy: but I'll deceive her there: however Gold I thank thee; thou Art indeed the God of love, and Poets did mistake thy Charms, whilst they forgot in thy refulgent shape to Paint their Venus and their Cupid; since thou canst Beauty win to be thy prostitute, and virtue captive tho'  [Moor moves in the Bed. pulls off his Gown. 
Immured like Danaa— she stirs— and I must stir her Too.— Lie thou there— Gown— And with thee I put off my gravity. The Monarch or the Magistrate can keep but little State in these enjoyments, where the Peasant and the beggar's Part's the same with theirs, Since 'tis our nature's highest Comedy—  As he undraws the Curtains, the Moor puts forth her head. 
Ha! my hopes are blasted in this spectacle. Some evil Spirit or Devil to punish my Hypocrisy.  Enter Frank. Merid. and Featlin. 
What shall I do to secure my shame and safety?  Frank. 
You need not fear Sir, and so many of your friends. Ready to serve you.  Merid. 
I am glad of this, I 'faith, Sir Solymour, I see you can Be amorous at your years as well as I at mine.  Soly. 
Was there ever such an unwelcome salutation. Oh my Torment!—  Moor. 
I wonder Gentlemen! by what authority you presume To disturb our intended embrace.  Soly. 
This is no dumb Devil I perceive.—  [Aside. Moor. 
For my part I'd have you to know, I mean nothing But what is honourable to this worthy Knight; as I Hope to be my Lady Solymour, 'tis true Gentlemen.  Soly. 
How! my Lady! Night-hag.  Frank. 
It seems a contract.  Featl. 
And wanted nothing but consummation.  Moor. 
Which you have rudely hindered, I thank you.  Merid. 
Nay, you shall complete your business if you Please, the World knows I never loved to spoil Sport.  Soly. 
As you are men, have so much mercy on me As to permit I 'scape out of this snare I am Got in.  Frank. 
That's impossible! the Doors are all locked Or guarded.  Featl. 
And by women too!  Soly. 
What would you have Gentlemen, I confess my Folly deserves a Curse as loud as all their Tongues Can express together.  Frank. 
Perhaps they may tease you a little.  Merid. 
Or meet in a full cry of their body politic, That were sport indeed.  Frank. 
And Lady you had best be ready to receive them.  Moor. 
I shall, Sir, with all expedition.—  She conveys herself out of the bed. Enter Foppering with his halfmoon on his head. Frank. 
Herè comes Tom Foppering, I took a course he Should not fail.  Soly. 
He come too?  Merid. 
No less than the man in the Moon I assure you Sir.  Soly. 
Good Sir, what has the earth or I to do with him Then, let him go to his fellow subjects in t'other World I beseech you.  Frank. 
Now it works.  Featl. 
I hope to good purpose.  Frank. 
And canst thou make good this fiction?  Fop. 
A fiction Sir! upon my sincerity a miracle.  Frank. 
And shall we take thy word for it?  Fop. 
If you know where to have a better proof for a Miracle than ones word comes to, you may get it Where you can, however you shall have no more For this.  Frank. 
Come to an end, Tom.  Fop. 
Why I'll tell you Sir, as you know I wish her highness Well, and so forth.  Merid. 
The story of her slipper we have heard already; but this Of her face should imply a greater Prodigy.  Fop. 
To tell you true Gentlemen, as I was now calculating Her motions from the top of my house, she was Pleased to slip off this face of hers and put it upon mine, In the same manner you see it.  Merid. 
An Astronomical Liar too!  Frank. 
There are none greater, if their calculations were well Observed.  Fop. 
Since Copernicus his time or before she hath not vouchsafed Such a favour to any man— As I hope to finish the Other part of her calculation, 'tis true Sir.  Merid. 
Let me never know mirth if I believe thee not in that.  Frank. 
And then you are to receive the other Part of her face, are you not?  Fop. 
What else Sir?  Frank. 
How like you this Dialogue Sir Solymour?  Soly. 
Would I were not the greater Fool.—  Fop. 
Joy, joy, transcendent joy, Sir; you are wished it both By the Moon and I abundantly.  Soly. 
What do you mean Bedlam?  Fop. 
To salute your happy inclinations; I did not believe That so Grave a man as yourself would have honoured Love, these days of frailty— but since you are In that predicament.—  Soly. 
What then Sir?  Fop. 
Why, I have put on my Moon as you see on purpose To wait on you.  Soly. 
Gentlemen, persuade his Silence— I shall be mad too Else, before he has done with me.  Frank. 
'Tis impossible, he will have his run.  Fop. 
Besides my design in giving you a visit at your lodging With four Drums, six Trumpets, and a Consort of 22 Violins With Flutes, Recorders and Dulcimores.  Soly. 
To be bated thus with a Lunatic! A cry of Hounds Were Music to't.  Fop. 
And next, Sir, I will have a Ballad sung on This subject to salute your Love, and you, in the morning, I know a ten Groat Poet shall compose it.  Soly 
Methinks your years should teach you Compassion.  Merid. 
Who! ay, old Sir! who has youth then?— go on a little For that Ladel.—  Enter Moor dressed. Featl. 
No Sir, here's one shall divert him— The Lady, Sir.—  Soly. 
This entrance is worse than all the rest.  Fop. 
As I am a servant of the Moons, and she a Lady of the Night and love, I wish you happy.  Moor. 
I thank you Sir, Though I could desire of Heaven (might it be granted) that my complexion were somewhat more Grateful, to this Knight my Lover.  Soly. 
O Monstrous! she calls me Lover too!  Frank. 
And you'll prove her to want no flame I'll warrant her: There's AEthiopia Sir on t'other Side of the Tropic you are to pass.  Featl. 
I have heard those Sunburnt females are most Delicious in embrace.  Soly. 
Are they so Sir?  Merid. 
And have the spring within them, though they want It without.—  Frank. 
If you get a Magpie Child (as there may be some Danger) I'll invite myself Gossip.  Enter Petilla, Celinda and two Ladies more. Merid. 
And I your Partner.  Moor. 
I thank you Gentlemen!  Soly. 
If you have mercy and are men, spare me.  Fop. 
Then for her Complexion, it resembles my Mistress The Moon's, when in an Ecliptic Conjunction. For which cause I like it better than that white Meager Face of my Wives.  Petil. 
Do you so, Sir?  Soly. 
These she Teazers come to increase the Cry,  Celin. 
Contain! let me persuade you.  Fop. plays at bopeep behind them. Petil. 
You shall till convenient time.  Fop. 
Let me screen myself behind you Gentlemen By turns.  Frank. 
But take care your Moon be not seen.  Fop. 
I'll do my endeavour, Sir.  Petil. 
And for you most abominable Sir, an infringer of Our most sacred law of love by making your Lascivious attempt on this Lady.  1. Lad. 
Putting aside the punishment you deserve in being a Sober ill example, like a malicious secluded member Of our late Government.  Celin. 
As also of a Hypocrite and Sinner together.  2. Lad. 
And more ill natured and Covetous than a Jew of Our new Synagogue.  Celin. 
Then for a Father, I'll witness, he is little Inferior to Herod.—  Soly. 
What a Nest of Hornets have I stirred?  Petil. 
For which you are censured by our body politic To espouse this beautiful Black, which the hand. Of Fortune presents to your embrace.  Soly. 
O me! the stings of all your Satyrs meet in this.— Did you say, marry her?  Celin. 
Or which is all one, you are concluded Man and Wife Already.  Featl. 
That was the Close I looked for.  Frank. 
I conceive thee.  Soly. 
Is there no remedy?  1. Lad. 
Not except you hang yourself.  Soly. 
Madam, I must thank you for this.  Celin. 
I did it to have you beholding to me As you'll find; in the mean time, to deceive the Deceiver has some excuse.  Soly. 
Well, Solymour, it has been thy fate, notwithstanding All thy policy, to heighten the part of a cautious Coxcomb.  Frank. 
And so I give you joy.  Merid. 
And I by my Manhood could bestow some Capers On this day of Hymen.  Soly. 
I'll excuse your Mirth, Sir.  Moor. 
Ladies, I thank your justice.  Soly. 
Impudent above her complexion too.  Petil. 
But it must not end thus— and have I found you— thou Moon Calf— thou?  [To Fop. Fop. 
Save me Ladies, and Gentlemen— or as thou art A good Commonwealth's Woman have mercy on A Citizen.  Petil. 
Were I not so, you should feel my Fingers!—.  Fop. 
Oh, Oh, Oh.  Petil. 
You should Sir.—  [She pinches him. Fop. 
I do, I do! nothing but the fingers of a Fairy Could pinch so deep.  Petil. 
Indeed Sir.  Fop. 
Good Queen Mabb spare me.—  Petil. 
Must I be a Lady of Dominion and have a Husband Called the man in the Moon, must I?—  [She pulls off his Moon. Fop. 
I meant myself thy man, and thou the Moon all the while, Wife; that is by way of Metaphor.  Petil. 
You had best tell how many embraces you have Given me more than I required, and so for Manhood Sake belly us both; or feign I have more servants Than really I have, and call it Metaphorical, you Had Sir?  Fop. 
But pardon Metaphor I beseech thee for Love's Sake, and Poetry.  Petil. 
Well, Sir, as I am favourable to Poetry, I'll pardon Your fictions at this time; so as your fool's fire produce No more.—  Fop. 
I'll have nothing to do with the best Moon that Ever shined since thou wilt have it so; and yet Methinks this affront might have been spared to Cynthia, Under Correction— Madam.—  Petil. 
Withdraw Sir, and know I expect your further submission.  Frank. 
Away, away, whilst the storm ceases.  Fop. 
Since a man cannot be believed who can help it.  Merid. 
An over-wife, tho' a little one—  [Ex. Foppering. Frank. 
And were I her Husband, I should be in love with The Moon in earnest before her.  Petil. 
Pardon me Madam, that my respects were Interrupted by that necessary rebuke I gave that Titular thing called my Husband— but hope the Example may be of good use, as you may have Occasion to exercise your matrimonial Dominion  Soly. 
The Counsel of a Fury added to my affliction.  Moor. 
I shall lose no prerogative that becomes a Wife Or a member of your Republic.  Enter Peacock and Euphorbus. Petil. 
For Which you may deserve a signal respect.  Soly. 
More Birds of a Feather to gaze at my folly.  Merid. 
Nothing but a brace of Peacocks for the last Course, Sir.  Soly. 
Would there were a limb of one of them in your Belly; I shall be whooped at by every Owl before They have done with me.  1. Lad. 
An odd sight.  Celin. 
I have heard of his humour before—  Frank. 
Nay, blame me Sir, rather, since I must Acknowledge I caused them to come hither to present Their respects to you, and your Lady.  Soly. 
Did you so, Sir?  Peac. 
And art thou the sprightly Black the Lady of Night And beautiful blossom of darkness?  Merid. 
Ha, ha, ha, blossom of darkness.  Peac. 
The Bride of this Gravity's, and Sister of Hymen's.  Frank. 
He has raised her descent, Sir, something for your sake.  Soly. 
O the perplexity I am in— a night of Cynthia's Revels In which all the Lunatics are at liberty.  Featl. 
Be resolute Sir and stand the worst.  Soly. 
Would I were dead, or any thing to be freed.  Featl. 
I am glad to hear it.—  [Aside. Peac. 
Had I but known this night of joy sooner, I would Have been doubly feathered, as you see I am in him And he in me.  Euph. 
And I likewise, as I am two in him, and he two in me, am At your service.  Merid. 
The Miracle increases now.  Frank. 
As far as they please to believe it.  Omn. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Soly. 
An Insinitum of vexation.  Peac. 
And next I would have been at thy service in as Many Capacities— that is thus for me, and thus for Him.  Euph. 
And thus for me, and thus for him.  Peac. 
As here's one lip, there's t'other— and so likewise for The rest of these Ladies.—  [B saluie the Moor. Petil. 
We are beholding to you Sirs, as I am a Wife.  Moor. 
I thank you Gentlemen, and as you are mine in several Respects, I will be as many times yours.  Soly. 
O my fate, I shall wear a horn, and caused by so Sooty a Sinner as this.  Celin. 
And be glad if you scape so Sir.  Petil. 
But that we are merciful and pity failings, you Had been worse dealt with.  Enter Polidor, Serina, Eugenia, Crispina, and several Gentlemen. Saly. 
Is that possible.  Peac. 
Ladies all your pardons, I have Performed my Devoirs, and so I doubly take my leave.  Euph. 
And I as doubly too.  Celin. 
Farewell, pair of Wonders—  [Ex. Peac. Euphor. Polid. 
You have passed a severe sentence on this Knight.  Serin. 
I thought it justice to consent considering every Circumstance.  Polid. 
You are just in all things.  Serin. 
I should be sorry, Sir, if the public or you have Cause to complain of the power I possess— tho' at This time I shall propose something may concern you, Please you observe a space.—  Polid. 
What does she mean?—  [Aside. Euge. 
As sure as I live, Serina is beginning her address To Polidor, by virtue of our late Decree.  Crisp. 
What if she does, I suppose Cupid has more use Of his Darts, than to aim only at her— tho' I confess Polidor, for a man, is a mark indeed.  Celin. 
Our Precedent, Sir.—  [To Solymour. Soly. 
More of their Clamours yet!  Moor. 
I hope not so, Sir.  Serin. 
Nor needs it Lady Solymour.  Soly. 
Was ever man married thus?  Serin. 
You own the Decree, Ladies?  Omn. 
All, all.  Serin. 
And next you may withdraw with your Lady, Sir.  Soly. 
Must I hand her too? No, she shall have but one of My fingers.—  Moor. 
I'll take hold of the longest finger then.  Featl. 
Take Comfort, Sir, however.  Soly. 
Hast thou any to give me?  Featl. 
I shall be sorry not to my endeavours as occasion Serves— I perceive he does not know me yet.  [Aside. Celin. 
And be near him to proceed as we shall advise.  [To Featlin. Featl. 
I understand thee, dear Celinda.—  [Ex. Soly. Moor, Featlin. Serin. 
For other irregularities of men that Concern our Sex, we may proceed against them As cause shall require.  Petil. 
And for such as have Wives, to make it more Enormous, if they presume to begin their Amours First; In good faith I was thinking to have brought In a charge against mine.  Frank. 
Though she has pinched him to purpose— as we Can witness.  Merid. 
And for nothing but pretending he is in love with The Moon.  Petil. 
But that I could not be so severe, with the frailties Of a man, I have received services from.  1. Lad. 
And what shall we decree against such, that Intrigue by the way of servants, and yet as perfidious To their Mistresses as any Husband of 'em-all  Crisp. 
Say we establish a High Court of Justice of Love?  Polid. 
That were a new way of acting Tyrannic love indeed?  Frank. 
But I hope no Tragedy.  Serin. 
I am not against it; provided, we do men and ourselves Right, by insisting on merit, and such other perfections As are justly ours.  Eug. 
You have spoken my sense, Madam.  Petil. 
I do not like so well that word, Merit.  Crisp. 
No matter, Madam, you have Beauty.  Petil. 
And should be sorry to quit my fair interest, did I Stand for a Venus with the proudest she living.  Serin. 
In the mean time behold what I present to your Considerations, a Catalogue of Lovers according to the Inquiry of our women Commissioners.  They view all the Paper earnestly. Crisp. 
An ingenious account.  Petil. 
And suitable to our instructions.  Serin. 
If there be any here you think well on, you may Bestow a look on him if you please.  Eug. 
Our Precedent should have the liberty to begin first.  Celin. 
By any means, Madam.  Serin. 
I am fixed already: but I'll lead you the way.  The Women walk round the men. Crispina, Petilla, 1 Lady, eyeing Frankman, Celinda, and 2d Lady eye others, while Eugenia eyes Meridith more strictly than any of the rest of the Men. Frank. 
Nay Ladies not too many of your beams Together.  Merid. 
The more the merrier.  Serin. 
If I mistake not Ladies, too many of your kind Aspects have been particularly united on some deserving Objects here.  Crisp. 
I know where I looked first.  Petil. 
And so do I, by your favour Madam,— I hope the Eye of a Wife may be as well understood as e'er A Virgins of you all.  1. Lad. 
And I remember where I looked too.  Eug. 
And so do I!—  Merid. 
That look meant me Frankman.  Frank. 
I perceive it.  Celin. 
And I forget not whom I beheld.  Celinda looks carelessly on the men. 2. Lad. 
And I by your leave, Ladies.  Merid. 
This is Mirth indeed Frankman.  Frank. 
A pleasant sort of Love's lightning, and some of us must Be his Thunderbolts it seems.  Serin. 
But Ladies, how will you determine betwixt Yourselves, in Case that several of you affect one Man?  Petil. 
Why, in that case we may decree him a public lover.  Eug. 
That were a particular injury.  Petil. 
No matter so it be a public good, by your favour, Madam.  Crisp. 
Rather, let us establish a High Court of Justice Of love to determine our differences.  Serin. 
I looked for this.—  [Aside. Eug. 
There's no reason for a dissenter.  Celin. 
I am for it.  1. Lad. 
And I.— Omn.— And all.  Serin. 
And I comply as willingly.  Crisp. 
And when shall our High Tribunal of love meet?  Serin. 
In some minutes under an hour! You have Your summons to appear, Gentlemen.  Merid. 
I dare promise for all, that we will not fail you.  Frank. 
God a mercy, thou sinner of Sixty.  Eug. 
A lively piece of antiquity.  Serin. 
The design takes to my wish; how do you Like it Polidor?  Polid. 
'Tis such a novelty, Madam, I know not how To judge it handsomely.  Serin. 
Leave it to me—  

Nor do I doubt our Stars will be unkind.  
Since Love has yet more Wonders left behind.   [Ex. Omnes.  

The Fifth Act.  The Scene resembles a Tribunal of Love. Enter Serina, Crispina, Eugenia, Celinda, Petilla, and 2 Ladies. Serin. 
I Hope, Ladies, you have sufficiently implored the Humoursome God of Love to compose your differences.  Eug. 
I can answer for myself, and hope well of the rest.  Serin. 
I doubt not your Modesty.  Crisp. 
But we expect it shall not diminish the least part Of our State and interest.  Petil. 
As I am a Wife I am obliged to do no less, hoping to Have the Vote of all this fair Society in my behalf.  1. Lad. 
We shall not dissent.  Serin. 
But to do justice on yourselves now, will be the Difficulty; since in my thought your Eyes met too Particularly, as you beheld the men: and it were strange if A commonwealth should not have variety enough for So many Women as we are here.  Eug. 
I judge so, Madam.  [Enter Frankman, Meridith, and Featlin. Serin. 
The persons that fall under present Consideration, will be these Gentlemen here, Though a small Number of the Catalogue.  Crisp. 
For Mr. Frankman, Madam, I dare answer for the Language of my Eye, so far, as to acknowledge him A deserving Gentleman.  Petil. 
But by your favour, Lady, I have had him in my thoughts Ever since I was a Wife.  1. Lad. 
And I ever since I was a Virgin.  2. Lad. 
I would say something too, Madam,— but let that pass.  Petil. 
And for Mr. Featlin here, what woman can have the heart Not to think well of him.  1. Lad. 
And such a neat built man as he is.  Serin. 
And what say you to this, Celinda?  Celin. 
I'll leave him to the best pretender, Madam,— my Love shall not go farther than my wit is able to Make it good.  Frank. 
We are now under Censure i'faith Boys.  Merid. 
And if they disable me from being a lover, my years Have ill luck.  Featl. 
I wonder that Celinda's justice has not found me yet.  Frank. 
O, their thoughts are so full of universals, there's no Room for a particular Amour yet.  Serin. 
And what for this Grave Gentleman?  [Pointing to Merid. Petil. 
He shall have our Supersedeas, if he please.  Crisp. 
Or to recreate him, let him be our general Platonic?  1. Lad. 
And so have our society at times of eating; I have Heard he's pleasant.  Eug. 
Methinks he might deserve better.  Petil. 
And think so still if you please.  Frank. 
Dost ' hear this Meridith?  Merid. 
I do, and smile at their mistake,— ay their Platonic?  1. Lad. 
And then for Polidor.  Serin. 
He too within your aims?  Petil. 
The most accomplished person in our Commonwealth, Why is he not here?  1. Lad. 
I long to survey him.  Petil. 
But I had him in my eye before you, Lady: by My Membership of this State, we have not justice President, and a man wanting we think well of.  Serin. 
This sounds too much of Anarchy in love, the worst Of Mischiefs to all humane Government.  1. Lad. 
But practised under all we conceive, Madam.  Petil. 
A Wife's condition were a severe one otherwise.  Serin. 
It shall never have my vote.  Eug. 
Nor mine, Serina.  Crisp. 
As it may Authorise dishonest actions, I likewise do defy It; but as I love my wit, my beauty, or take pride to be Respected (a pardonable frailty in our Sex) I'd have It paid me too as many ways— A woman may be A Saint of Loves, and yet have more than single Adoration.  Frank. 
By my life, brave, and witty.  Merid. 
She has it in abundance, man.  Serin. 
You may be allowed your sense, Crispina, but till you Better reconcile— Serina, is no more your Precedent Celinda!—  [Ex. Serina and Celinda. Featl. 
Serina is with-drawn in discontent, And Celinda with her.  Frank. 
I did expect it, and guests which way the stream of things Are bending.  Eug. 
This breach was sudden.  Crisp. 
No matter, we may proceed without her.  Petil. 
Or choose another in her stead.  Crisp. 
Gentlemen, your patience-and your counsel, Ladies.  [The Women whisper. Featl. 
The Ladies are in consultation about us.  Frank. 
Perhaps they will choose us by lots or else play us together Like a battle Royal of Cocks.  Featl. 
But I have designed my match otherwise, if Fortune Be not peevish and hinder me.  [Enter Foppering. Merid. 
In the mean time, let us sing, three Merry Boys, and three merry Boys, and three merry Boys are we.  Frank. 
Here comes Foppering— but I'll fright him away— Hark you Tom.—  Fop. 
What's the matter Sir?  [Merid. and Featl. whisper. Frank. 
Strange matters are in handling by the women, Tom.  Fop. 
But I desire to have nothing to do with their hands or fingers.  Frank. 
I know thou wouldst not, Tom.  Fop. 
I had only an extraordinary compliment to have Presented their High Court of love, and thought to Have asked your advice whether I may Presume to except my Wife.  Frank. 
Thou shalt not have to do with her, or them, at present. And for thy Wife, she is in such a Mood.  Fop. 
Let her go whistle above or below then.— I'll not Make much of her now.  Frank. 
She is at present like Tow, ready to take fire with The least spark of passion.— Away, away,— I would Not have thee seen.  Fop. 
And is she angry, say you then?— Why then I'll not Provoke her so much as by my submission now; She shall be pleased better first.  Frank. 
Be gone, I tell thee.  Fop. 
But if you can intercede for my humiliation or so; you Conceive me Sir,— and you Gentlemen.  Frank. 
Some other time we'll undertake it.  Fop. 
I thank you heartily, Sir, and in gratitude will tell You a more extraordinary tale, than I have told you yet.—  Frank. 
Enough, enough.—  [Ex. Foppering. Merid. 
And well we are rid of him, I was apprehensive that His Mirth might have prevented a better expected.  Crisp. 
Not to proceed, were a diminution of our privilege, And might teach men to neglect our Authority, or what Is worse, to slight our loves.  Petil. 
I am resolute in the cause.  Eug. 
But I hope with modesty.  1. Lad. 
Crispina shall be our Speaker.  2. Lad. 
And so avow our prerogative by her mouth; she'll manage It like a Town-wit I warrant her.  Petil. 
Indeed Ladies! and a Wife of the Republic in place?  Crisp. 
With your leave, Madam.  Frank. 
They have decreed to assault us now.  Merid. 
And I'll charge them as home, I warrant thee.  Petil. 
Then by my leave you may.  Crisp. 
But it shall be to defeat your intrigue, if my Wit does not deceive me.—  [Aside. Frank. 
They have chosen a Speaker to my wish, and I am prepared For her.  Crisp. 
Suppose, Gentlemen, that some of us should resolve to Express our good opinion of you. I do not mean you.  [Meridith steps out. Merid. 
What you please, Madam.  Omn. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Crisp. 
Or that you Mr. Frankman were the man I bid to Love me?  Frank. 
Why, in that oase, Madam, I would answer the supposition By another supposition; as, supposing that any of These Ladies were your Rivals, and that you designed Me for yourself, which Heaven avert from your Thoughts  1. Lad. 
Mark that, Ladies.  Petil. 
Nay Mr. Frankman will deal with'em well enough I warrant him.  Crisp. 
How! Heaven avert it, say you so, Sir?  Frank. 
Marry do I, and dare swear it before your Tribunal Of Love too, if you please.— How Madam! Command my love?  Crisp. 
I put it to you as a Supposition, Sir.  Frank. 
Why then, Lady, you must unsppose again— ha, ha, ha, Bid me love? why, 'tis scarce within the Power of The Stars to command it.  Crisp. 
You dare not, Sir, affront our Power.  Frank. 
A power to command love; was there ever such A Solecism in Nature; besides, you mistake The Prerogative you have decreed to yourselves; I must be bold to tell you so; and more, that were You Coy, and proud as Pallas, your Own law Must humble you.—  Crisp. 
How so! presumptions Sir?  Frank. 
Alas, Madam, Cupid has conspired with your Counsels More happily for us, than the most ambitious Lover Could have hoped for,— you will have the privilege To make love first?  Crisp. 
What Then, Sir?  Frank. 
Why much good do you with it— and begin; but remember As it does invert our Common Mode of Courtship in the First tender of our respects, so we may expect, (and Reasonably too) the same observances from you women, The privilege of Lady Mistresses being no longer yours: In short, you have pulled down your Altars of love And have set up ours.  Crisp. 
Was there ever such an affront to Cupid, and women In power together?  Frank. 
I must be plainer yet: and assure you that you have Put it justly in our power to expect, not only that you Should first offer your affections; but with the exemplary humilities of men, when lying at the feet of Their Mistresses, as by saying, I am, Sir, your humble Lady To serve you— how happy were I to have the least Of your good opinion! What a foot, and hand have you, And eye that sends forth rays more bright than those of Diamonds, and wounds with every beam a Lover; and So till you come (for want of hair) to our Periwigs, And admire them as much.  Crisp. 
This were fine indeed.  Frank. 
Nay, after you have performed all this, remain In doubt whether we'll receive it, or no, but give You as endless and insupportable delays as such Of your Sex usually do, when proud, fair, rich, and Witty, are completed in one individual woman— If this be not Justice, according to your determination Of making love; I submit to your judgements, Ladies.  Merid. 
God a mercy Sophister! thou hast puzzled their reasons I warrant thee.  Frank. 
I was beholding to thy wit for the hint, Meridith:  Merid. 
I am glad it did you service.  Featl. 
And with such a retortion on themselves?  Crisp. 
What say you to this Ladies?  Eug. 
I doubt the argument is unavoidable.  Petil. 
And contradict our decree.  Crisp. 
I confess the consequence was overseen by us.  1. Lad. 
Why let us revoke it then, and make a better in its Stead.  2. Lad. 
'Tis necessary, since we are like to have no lovers Otherwise.  Petil. 
Rather than so, I'd consent to give up our Government.  Crisp. 
We must think of some other expedient. In the mean Time, I'll vouchsafe you my pardon.  Frank. 
And your love too, I hope, Madam, by that Eye  [Crisp. 
She gave me first—  [Aside. [eyes Frank. kindly. 
And last, I dare conclude it.  Crisp. 
His wit has taken me.  Petil. 
And so for you Sir, I suppose we may do the like.  Featl. 
I thank you, Lady:— but you shall choose some Other Gallant in stead of me for your service.—  [Aside. Merid. 
And what for me?  1. Lad. 
Good picture of time, nothing.  Eug. 
You have been admitted a Platonic already, By our particular dispensation.  Merid. 
Me a Platonic, Lady? 't had been better said to AEson, after he renewed his years, and youth— Me a Plaionick? I'll sooner renounce Plato, and all His spiritual Doctrine of Love, ten times over, Than suffer the affront to flesh and blood of mine. Me a Platonic?  Eug. 
Well Sir, I will allow your years a greater respect Since you desire it.  Merid. 
And can deserve it too! but do not hope for a return Unless you value me at the price of one and Twenty in manhood, I'll not go under a day, fair One, and on those terms, love, embrace, and welcome; which If thou dost with me, I'll make thee know, thou art To wish thyself younger for my sake, and not me for Thine.  Eug. 
I conceive you, Sir— such a humour in age, what's more Taking?—  [Aside. Crisp. 
Eugenia, thou hast closed this Scene more kindly than I looked for— Come Ladies—  [Ex. Women. Merid. 
Well, Frankman, thou hast showed thyself a true Wit indeed.  Frank. 
I told you, I should bow the proudest she amongst them.  Featl. 
And has given some shock to their dominion over us.  Frank. 
Why I designed it man; and if we do not set up What we please now, 'tis our own faults; I knew From the beginning of this day, that the Power would Be our Sexes again, with more pleasure than before.  Featl. 
Serina made the first breach.  Frank. 
Were she rewarded though with a greater dignity Than I'll name, I could afford it her.  Featl. 
She affects Polidor, no less deserving in his birth And virtues.  [Enter Peacock half naked and weeping. Frank. 
Away to thy Father, Featlin, Thy design ripens a pace.  Featl. 
I was just going to him, Sir.  Merid. 
I did not think that providence had blessed Sir Grave Solymour with so hopeful a Son.  Frank. 
Here comes Peacock, and half naked too.  Merid. 
An odd spectacle of mirth.  Frank. 
I'll dispose of him accordingly— In the mean time Wait you on Polidor—  [Ex. Merid. 
How now, Peacock?  Peac. 
The most sad man living, Sir.  Frank. 
What's the matter?  Peac. 
The matter Sir? why I have lost myself, Sir.  Frank. 
And thou here?  Peac. 
I mean Euphorbus, my other lovely being in myself.  Frank. 
But how com'st thou to be half unclothed too?  Peac. 
Why Sir, as I was this afternoon asleep, having Laid my fine Vest of Feathers by me, I had it stolen Away from me, my Pocket picked too, and, as I suppose, By that self of mine, Euphorbus.  Frank. 
A good moral of self love; than which nothing More deceives us— but to undecieve thee, I'll tell Thee Jack, that self of thine was but a Linkboy Designed to abuse thy Credulity, and for the Artist You dealt with, he's obscured already, besides not Worth a revenge.  Peac. 
Is't possible, Sir? then I have been abominably cheated By that pretended Virtuoso you directed me to.  Frank. 
I did consent for thy good, he should practise on thee A little, since 'twas a just punishment of thy humour Of self affection, and may all that dote too much Upon themselves deceive themselves accordingly.  Peac. 
I care not for my money, If I had but my suit of Feathers again!  Frank. 
No matter whether thou hast for no, or thou mayst have As good.—  Peac. 
Do you think so! I'll try all the feather Shops in the Town, before I'll rest then.  Frank. 
In the mean time thy part of Comedy shall end here: Be gone Jack— as thou art a lover of Modes and dress I would no thave thee seen in such a plight as this.  [Ex. Peacock. Enter Polidor, Serina, and Celinda. Polid. 
And have you power or other means to accomplish this Design, Serina?  Serin. 
I doubt it not, and know most noble Polidor, that as this Day began with womens' rule, so it shall end propitious To my Country's happiness and my acknowledgements of your Desert.  Polid. 
I need no other proof than your virtue— here's Frankman.  Serin. 
And must be acquainted how I proceed; Mr. Frankman?  Frank. 
Your Will, Madam.  Serin. 
How came you off with the Ladies?  Frank. 
With victory enough, Madam, in so much that I judge They could be contented to rule jointly with us now.  Serin. 
And by what means?  Frank. 
By a small heat of argument, on the account of Love Madam, the most subduing passion.—  [Enter Meridith. Serin. 
My design is half perfected, by this ingenuity of his— And what for Crispina.—  Frank. 
Why, as proud, and stout as she is, she plies, and shall More yet, as I hope to order matters.  Serin. 
You will deserve her best affection.  Frank. 
And for my friend Meridith here— the wonder of age And love, he has made such a fair Progress with Eugenia Too.  Celin. 
A virtuous and discreet Lady.  Merid. 
I was fain, Madam, to come up close to her, and bid her Expect what her youth could hope, from mine— till we Came to such a kind reperteè by looks, that I suppose She could even have sung, I like his humour well, and I like his humour well.—  Serin. 
A pleasant one I assure you.  Merid. 
And shall be, till life and I take leave Madam.  Polid. 
Besides he is a person no less generous, in all his actions I must own him such.  Merid. 
You shall be sure to prove me so, when you command My service.  Serin. 
There needs nothing, but to insist on your prerogatives as men.  Frank. 
Which we'll be certain in the end to have the Better of Women kind, or I know nothing of Flesh and blood.—  [Aside. Serin. 
And be sure, you neither receive their address or make love On any terms, giving the like intimation to all you think Fit— the other part of the design shall be mine and Celinda's.—  [Enter Soly. Moor, Featl. at distance. Celin. 
I am prepared to serve it— but With your leave first.  Serin. 
I know your affair, come Polidor, and you Gentlemen.  [Ex. Serina, Polidor, Meridith, Frankman. Soly. 
And do you hope to bed with me at night, You AEthiopian Matron, do you?  Moor. 
I shall expect, Sir, the due respects, and observance of a Wife.  [Celinda whispers Featlin. Soly. 
Indeed sooty, Madam.  Moor. 
The very reason, Sir, that Chimney-sweepers are more Regarded in our Country than in any other, because They come so near the complexion of our Ladies.  Soly. 
Or else for my greater Curse, thou wert begotten by one at Home and so foisted on me.  Moor. 
By your leave Sir, I must taste your lips  [Offers to kiss him. 
'Tis my privilege to begin, our Law says.  Soly. 
Would I could tell where to hire some Villain to Strangle her.  Featl. 
I have made myself known to him.  Celin. 
That's well: but be sure to keep back the Plot, till our design be perfected:  Featl. 
Leave it to me.  Celin. 
Serina expects me— I'll but salute him now.  Moor. 
Besides, Sir, we Moor are held in pleasure to transcend The most beautiful embraces, the world (as well as Those under our Meridian) affirms it.  

Whilst we such amorous Feats can do,  
The fair would wish to act and know,  
Which makes it hard with us to prove  
Whether Honour greater is than love.   Soly. 
She abuses me in Rhyme too! though it be the Curse of Poetry.  Celin. 
Your servant Sir.  Soly. 
She here to second her?  Celin. 
To serve you, I am.  Soly. 
My fair Trapanner I desire no more of your service—  Celin. 
And provided you will but hope well from me— Perhaps may yet oblige your good opinion—  [Ex. Celinda. Soly. 
Is that possible, after decoying me to this mischief?  Featl. 
Good Father be more comfortably persuaded, and if you are Not pleased to expect well from her, trust to my Endeavour.  Soly. 
If thou canst relieve me in this affliction, this Cross Of mine will prove a welcome providence in obliging My love for ever to thee.  Featl. 
I do not doubt it Sir.  Soly. 
Tho' I confess it a just punishment of my vicious inclinations And hypocrisy, together with my too long injurious Neglect of thee.  Moor. 
You have no design to do me wrong I hope—  [To Featl. Featl. 
As you are a woman, not I, Lady.  Soly. 
She is rather an African Serpent in the Sunburned form Of woman, there is danger in changing words with her.  Featl. 
But if I provide a Spell, Sir, shall charm your Quiet and freedom?  Soly. 
Do you assure it?  Featl. 
As I am honest, and obedient, I do, so you express Yourself a Father.  Soly. 
My love, and Estate shall confirm thee, Take all, or what Part thou wilt, of which I must acknowledge my covetousness has too many years injuriously debarred thee.  Enter Serina, Crispina, Eugenia, Petilla, and the two Ladies. Featl. 
Here comes the women, Sir,— please you to confirm it Within.  Soly. 
With my hand seal & heart—  [Ex. Soly. Moor, Featl. Serin. 
I could have wished Ladies, that the men had been more Moderate in their resolution— But here it is at large.  [They open a Scroll of Parchment and look on. Crisp. 
And confirmed by all these hands.  Eug. 
Not a considerable person in the Commonwealth almost, But has set his name here.  Petil. 
And that malapert toy, my Husband too?  1. Lad. 
I do not find his name here— but it may be those You like as well.  Crisp. 
Not receive, or make love, except we part with our power! A bold demand, Ladies.  1. Lad. 
And before we have governed one day.  2. Lad. 
It seems they conclude we shall be necessitated to yield Before night.—  Serin. 
You see how firmly they have resolved, and under the Honour of their hands too, not to love in any kind, on Other terms.  1. Lad. 
Part with our power? why, 'tis that which Princes fight for, Politicians deceive for, nay, Mistresses love for.  Petil. 
I and women marry for; I did, I am sure, chiefly On the account of governing.  Crisp. 
'Tis doubtless some trick of these men to obtain the Supremacy we possess.  1. Lad. 
I judge so, Madam.  Crisp. 
They are men, I doubt not, and let 'em live in our country And not love if they can— for my part I should rather Be content to starve my affection a while, than not Maintain our rule— tho' perhaps I have something Might concern me, as much as another woman.—  Enter Celinda in haste. 1. Lad. 
A magnanimous resolution!  Serin. 
But I fear the consequence.  Celin. 
O, Ladies, if ever for love's sake you will conclude On any thing, you must do it this minute.  Serin. 
What's the matter?  Celin. 
You must live, and love alone else, the men are all leaving Of our Country, and you'll not have a man of sixteen in Utopia, By Sun set.  Crisp. 
Is it certain?  1. Lad. 
Why then let us be content till the Boys come to be men.  2. Lad. 
I doubt that will be too long for some of our constitutions.  Petil. 
Right, Madam, and might prejudice us more than our Power is worth, there is no living without 'em.  2. Lad. 
A Barbarism not to be admitted by our Sex.  1. Lad. 
I have heard of a Chemist, that undertakes to make men, If true, now were a time to employ him.  2. Lad. 
But the cheats discovered and he's run away.  Celin. 
Nay, Ladies, you must presently determine, the Ships are taken, the Wind fair, and whereas I Said a man, we shall not have otherwise a Boy To play with.  Petil. 
Not a boy to play with, neither?— have we not Power to restrain these bold Insolents from making This attempt.  Celin. 
If we could I conceive it were to little purpose, unless we Can command their loves.  Crisp. 
Mr. Frankman going too! well! I have a woman's heart, I Find.  Eug. 
And Meridith too! methinks I am unwilling our Country Should want such an ornament of age.  Crisp. 
Let us put ourselves wholly in Serina's hands, and comply As she shall think fit.  Omn. 
Content, content.  Serin. 
And will you all submit to what I shall conclude, or Determine?  Eug. 
As we are women we will.  Serin. 
That may prove a fickle assurance.  1. Lad. 
As we hope to love, and be beloved again, Madam.  Serin. 
That's somewhat surer— And since you are thus unanimous Know-worth 'tis for some reasons my design and not The men's,— see here, they come, will answer For the rest, and acceptably I hope.  Whispers Celinda, who brings in Polidor, Frankman, Meridith. Eug. 
We need not doubt it.—  [Women whisper severally. Frank. 
I suppose we may make love first now— but Keep back yours, Sir, a while, I have some Reasons.  [To Polid. Polid. 
You shall advise me.—  [Too Frank. Frank. 
And now, Meridith, what think'st thou on that Sprightly cast, Eugenia darted on thee?  Merid. 
Why, did I not give her beam for beam, think'st Thou?  Frank. 
Well said— and for you Crispina, as you are stout and Proud—  Crisp. 
What then Sir?  Frank. 
Why, I'll grant thee so much victory, as to bid me Take thee, 'tis something like the decree you made, But it shall be only with the spiritual language Of thy eye— Nay that's too much of Madam Haughty.  [She looks on him. Crisp. 
'Tis a hard case, Sir, if I have no look to please you.  Frank. 
Now, she comes, i'faith, methinks I am even a-bed  [Looks again. 
Withthee in that cast— and in this something  [Looks again. 
More— give me thy hand, and as I am a Frankman I'll love thee, and so forth.  Crisp. 
I am yours than it seems.  Frank. 
I hope to both our happinesses— there is no such Wife As a proud woman makes when humbled, like the Stately'st Horse that seems most comely under the Rider.  Serin. 
Eugenia, your affections are fixed here.— If I mistake not.—  [To Meridith. Eug. 
I must acknowledge it.  Merid. 
But I'll save her the labour, Madam, to bid me take her: I know thou lov'st me, and lik'st my humour well too, and If I do not enjoy thee as cheerfully— may I be never More called the youthful Meridith.  Eug. 
I shall as much rejoice your love, and though at such a disstance 'Twixt our years, we are united, (so seldom an example in my Sex) I'll bear the Censure, since pleasant humour's More to be esteemed, and cements faster love Than youth and beauty.  Merid. 
For which I'll be thy mirthful companion, friend And Husband, and will live with thee merrily up, and More merrily down.  Polid. 
I cannot blame her to be taken, and his disposition so Pleasant.  Petil. 
Notwithstanding I am a Wife, I might have expected Something like an Amour too— but there is time For all things.  2. Lad. 
Doubt it not, Lady.  1. Lad. 
I should be sorry, if I could not dispose of my virginity With content too, when I please.  [Enter Soly. Moor, and Featlin. Frank. 
Here comes Sir Grave Solymour.  Soly. 
More conventions of women to Increase my vexation.  Featl. 
You need not apprehend it father— this is but your last Scene, and I'll make it a short one.  Soly. 
I have performed all things you required of me.  Featl. 
And I'll free you from this black Wife in spite Of the decree is past.  Moor. 
You will not do me such an injustice Sir.  Celin. 
No, he shall not, but I will— the Plot is mine And I'll discover it myself, to deserve his favour With you; look you here, Sir, 'tis but a Blackamoor Boy, and my Page— I hope Ladies there  Pulls off the Moors hood, and he appears a Blackamoor. 
Needs no decree to annul this marriage.  Serin. 
Celinda has obliged you Knight.  Soly. 
I thank her, Madam, since she has done me No greater Mischief  Polid. 
And reconciled you to your Son, likewise.  Featl. 
Most fully, Sir, I thank him, and with a settlement of His Estate on me.  Celin. 
I knew this only could effect it on your covetousness, and do your Son justice, whom you had Long injured— wherefore you ought Sir to pardon The design,  Soly. 
I do, I do,— since there's no remedy.—  [Aside. Featl. 
For which your so worthy affection— I offer myself and fortune yours.  Polid. 
It is but justice.  Celin. 
I was yours without it, and am so now.  Soly. 
There's no more for me to do.  Featl. 
Nothing, Sir!—  Frank. 
But to reform yourself and that square pretext Of Gravity, by which you have not a little abused Better meanings than your own.  Soly. 
I will than immediately retire, and live, (if I can) A forgotten Commonwealths man.—  [Ex. Solymour. Frank. 
A happy riddance, believe me.  Featl. 
You have obliged me, Mr. Frankman, with the rest.  Celin. 
You should have thanked the Ladies too, but that I'll do for you.—  [She curtsies to Serina and the women. Enter Citizens. Serin. 
There's yet a higher justice to be done unto you Polidor— nor is't unknown that in your veins Is still preserved, that Royal Blood, which first gave Nourishment unto this country's ancient stock Of Kings.  Omn. Cit 
We all acknowledge it.  Serin. 
And from my mouth I dare pronounce you here Our Monarch— I know you will accept it.  Polid. 
I were injurious otherwise unto your love And Justice, tho' time by introducing long these Forms of State, obscured the light and glory Of my first Ancestors.  Serin. 
But to be more conspicuous in yourself.  Polid. 
You shall partake it with me, Serina, and more, I Will acknowledge that 'tis thy love and virtue made Me King.  Serin. 
You have already Sir, above my expectation or desert.  Omn. Cit 
Long live Polidor and Serina, King and Queen.  Polid. 
And to you all I'll soon express the value that I have for your affections.  Frank. Featl. 
We do not doubt it, Sir.  Merid. 
For me, I'll only beg, that when our country's Enemies Shall dare provoke your Arms, you'll bid me be your Soldier.  Polid. 
With Eugenia's leave thou shalt, nay called in honour. Of thy Youthful Age, my youngest Captain.  Merid. 
I thank you, Sir.  Polid. 
You are contented Ladies with this change.  Omn. Lad. 
With all submission, Sir.  Featl. 
And is an universal joy in this most happy end Of both Republics.  Petil. 
But I hope, Sir, Wives shall not lose their legislative Power in ruling of their Husbands.  Polid. 
For such as will submit, we'll make no law to Hinder them.  Petil. 
Then you are a King indeed.  Polid. 
Nature has made for men her Salique-Law Given Women to continue men, not govern, And though both Sexes here have held Republics (A usage different from all other Countries) In each example they may wisely see No rule's so good as lawful Monarchy.  [Ex Omnes.   

Epilogue spoke by Mr. Foppering.  
THe Stages Zany, or the Miss that's kind  
Poets their Intercessors Wisely find:  
The fool's your favourite, and the Miss can play  
A far more welcome part anotherway;  
But stay, this Jest must not proceed too far,  
Our women govern here— as well as there,  
Beauty is sacred, and a satire thence  
Is like a Clap in Cupid's kinder sense.  
Then let them pass with their Heroic guilt,  
And Prologue borrowed from a Hat and Belt.  
Farce may be used in the Romantic way,  
Like Pudding Jack turned Hector in a Play.  
we'll act such fools our Poets can suppose,  
Rather than Hero's imitating those,  
Yet mine I hope so far with theirs complies,  
That Foppering you'll excuse for telling lies.  
A Fools bold Lunacy my part does show,  
But more Heroic Cinthia's Hero know.  
Great AEsop did by Fools the Wise direct,  
Allow our Author's hear the same effect,  
He for your sake his Comick-Muse thus dressed,  
But hopes the Moral is above the Jest:  
And if y' are kind upon our Poet's score,  
We Actors, in that favour, hope for more.  
FINIS.