Heic tutus obumbrer    

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉  
THE PARLEY OF BEASTS; OR MORPHANDRA Queen of the ENCHANTED ISLAND:  
Wherein Men were found, who being transmuted to Beasts, though proffered to be disenchanted, and to become Men again; yet, in regard of the crying sins, and rebellious humours of the Times, they prefer the Life of a Brute Animal before That of a Rational Creture:  
Which Fancy consists of various Philosophical Discourses, both Moral, Metaphysical, Historical, and Natural, touching the Declinings of the World, and late Depravation of Human Nature;  
With Reflexes upon the present State of most Countries in Christendom.  
Divided into a XI Sections.  
By JAM HOWELL Esq  Senesco, non Segnesco. 
The First TOME.  
London, Printed by W. Wilson for William Palmer, at the Palmtree in Fleetstreet near St. Dunstan's Church, 1660.   

MORPHANDRA, OR QUEEN OF THE Enchanted Island.  
ᵐ I am Morphandra can turn Man to Brute,  
And Brutes to Human Nature re-transmute.  
ᵖ And I Pererius whom the gods did send  
This Rare Admired Princess to attend.  
In formas mutata novas mens dicere gestit  
Corpora, & in primas iterum transversa Figuras,  
Dii faveant coeptis—   

The Scope and Substance of the ensuing SECTIONS.  
PErerius, a wand'ring Prince, after many traverses of Fortune, and Tempests in his long Pererrations at Sea, arrived at a strange Northwest Island, where there reigned a Queen called Morphandra, descended of the Highborn Circe, daughter of Sol, who (according to the Etymology of her name) had power to transmute and metamorphose Men to Beasts; Pererius having obtained leave of her to see and speak with divers of them, viz, an Otter, an Ass, an Ape, a Hind, a Mule, a Fox, a Boar, a Wolf, a Goat, a Soland-Goose, a Hive of Bees, etc. Morphandra infusing the Faculty both of Reason and Ratiocination into Them during that interval of time; As also full and full and free election to resume the shapes of Men, and so return unto their own Countries and Callings: Pererius attempted to persuade them thereunto, but in regard of the rebellious Humours, the horrid Sacrileges, the new-fangled Opinions, and gingling Extravagances that Human brains are subject unto, specially this last doting and vertiginous Age of the World, with the nomberles Indispositions whereunto the Bodies of Men as well as their Brains are exposed, They did choose rather to continu still in the state and species of Brute Animals, than become Rational Cretures again: At last Prince Pererius mingling speech with a Hive of Bees, who had been formerly a Monastery of Nuns, He prevailed so far by his melting persuasions, and high discourse of the prerogatives and excellencies of the Human Soul, that He induced Them to take on their first Nature's again, and so return to their Cloisters; These Discourses are divided into eleven Sections, every Section carrying with it a new Fancy and Matter.  
Touching the Etymologies of the feigned Words throughout the whole Work, appropriated to the quality of every Country, Climate, and Peeple, the Roots of them must be fetched from the Greek Tongue.  
He is the true Author who creates a Fancy.   

To the Great Ornament of her Sex, both for Choice Intellectuals, and High Moral Virtues, The right Honourable, and excellent Lady, My Lady MARIE de la FONTAINE.  
MADAM,  
THis Fancy bearing in the Front the name of a Rare Female, I thought it might well stand with the rules of Congruity to make the Dedication correspond with the Title; And after many revolutions of Thoughts who should be most proper for my design, the contemplation of your Honour did cast such strong influences upon Them, that at last They fixed there; Nor will any Discerning Reder question my judgement herein, your Ladyship being so able and fit (as I have the honour to know by experience) to receive this Admired Queen, and give her a suitable entertainment; Therefore, Madam, if you please to admit Morphandra into your Closet, I believe she will afford you several sorts of divertisements, And she haply may work sometimes a Metamorphosis in your Self, for she can transmute Passions as well as Persons, she can turn Melancholy to Mirth, and pensiveness to Pleasure; For as it is in the French (of which Language you are so great a Mistress) Les Morts font reviure les Vivants, The Dead enliven the Living, whereby is meant; that Books, though the Authors thereof be dead and rotten many Ages before, can beget new spirits in the living Reder.  
Now, such is the state of Mankind, that the foresaid Passions will have their interchangable turns, they will follow one another as duly as Night succeeds Day in any Human creature, be the Humours thereof never so equally poised; It is denied to Man to be always at Home within himself, and it will be so to the world's end as long as He is composed of the four Elements, and as long as the Natural humours within Him sympathise with the said Elements, who are in restless mutation and motion among themselves for mastery, which made one break out into this excess of speech, that if the four Humours were balanced aright in the human body, he would live easily many thousands of years upon earth; Now, that person may be said to be the wisest among mortals who can rule and control those Humours, It being a Principle among the Philosophers, That as the conduct of the Passions (which arise from the Humours) is the greatest prudence, so the conquest of them is the gretest pro●●●sse, when they grow rebellious: The ensuing Work hath divers glances upon this subject, and variety of things besides, for every Section affords a new Fancy and Matter.  
It remains now, Madam, that I should humbly desire, your Honour would please to interpret this Deditory Address as a small argument of my great Acknowledgement of your so many noble Civilities, for which I stand so truly obliged; And this Acknowledgement standing upon so public a Record, the Ages to come as well as the present will testify, how much I am and was,  
My highly Honoured Lady, Your most humble and devoted Servant, JAM HOWELL.   

To the Severer sort OF readers.  
Some of the Ancient Sages, who were ranked among the Philosophers of the Upper House, had a Speculation, That the World was but one huge Animal or Living creature, composed of innumerable members and parts, some Homogeneous or similar, others Heterogeneous or dissimilar; And in order to that they held, That God Almighty was the Great Soul which did inform and actuat the whole Bulk with motion and life, with virtue and vigour, for every part to perform its peculiar function towards the preservation of the Whole: According to this Doctrine an Argument may be drawn by way of Induction, That if the parts begin to impair, the Whole must be in a declining condition; It hath been a Truth which hath passed from all times without control, that Mankind is one of the prime parts of the Universe and Paramount of the Sublunary World, which is demonstrable by that Dominion which was given him over all his fellow-Cretures in Air, Water, or Earth; He can make the towering Eagle stoop to his Lure from the middle Region; He can make the vast Leviathan, though a hundred times bigger than himself, to flounce from the deep to do him homage on the Shore; He can make the Elephant, though forty times stronger than himself, to draw up his Ships on the Carine, and do other drudgeries; This appears also out of that Awe, which by a kind of natural instinct all other Animals use to show Him; Insomuch that trial hath been made, how if a Man should go naked and with a confidence through the Arabian Deserts, where the gretest concourse of wild Beasts useth to be, there's none will assault him, but in a gazing and awful kind of posture they will keep their distance: Now, if Man, who is so considerable a part of the world, doth decay in his Species, 'tis a shrewd symptom that the Whole is en decadence, in a declining state; Now, that Man doth impair as well in his Intellectuals and the Faculties of his Soul, as in the motions and affections of his heart, this present Age can afford more pregnant proofs than most of the Ages before; For touching the First, What fond futilous new Opinions have been hatched of late times, both in Divinity and in the Ideas of holy things, as well as in all other Sciences, specially in the Art of Policy, wherein such poor Sciolists are crept up, that would turn ancient Monarchies into new popular Commonwealths, and so set a Hydra's head upon an old Lion's neck, or make a Child's shoe to fit a Giant's foot.  
Touching the motions of the Heart, there's nothing of that love and offices of Humanity which were used to be, not only among private persons and neighbours, but that Allegiance and Love which Subjects were used to show towards their lawful Prince decays more and more, whereof there have been strange examples of late years; In Aethiopia, a large ancient Empire, the common people did rise up with a petty Companion against their Sovereign, and killed him with his two Sons in open field; In Constantinople, two Gran Signors were thrust out of the world by their own Slaves, yet they went not to that height of Impudence as to arraign Them before a Bar of justice; The Swed hath quite revolted from the Pole, the Portuguese from the Spaniard, and so Naples would have done; What a huge Army did the Bassa of Aleppo raise lately? And in the Kingdom of Morocco a mean Fellow, under the seeming show of Sanctity, what a crew of riff-raff stuff did he drag after him against his lawful King? But touching these Northwest Island, they have outgone all the rest: These metamorphosed Animals do point at all these, and other degenerations of the Human creature: Nor is it the first time that Beasts did speak, for we read of one in the Sacred Code who spoke; and besides, Solomon sends in to some of Them for Instruction: The Phrygian Fabler was one of the first who taught them their Abcee, than Anian, Barlandus, and others taught Them Their Primer, and the two ingenious Florentines, Poggius and Gelli may be said to have taught Them their Grammar: But these transmuted Beasts speak in a louder Dialect, who having tried both Natures, they tell the Human Creture his own, and how he grows daily from bad to worse, according to the Prophetical Lyric Poet, 
Aetas Parentum, pejor avis, tulit  
Nos nequiores, mox daturos  
Progeniem Vitiosiorem.   
Made English thus. 
Our Fathers who worse than our Grandsire's were  
Got Us worse than Themselves; And We, I fear,  
Will get worse than Them both: Such a sad curse  
Hangs on Mankind to grow from Bad to Worse.    

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉;  
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉;  
Poema Tempestivum.  

TRees spoke before, now the same strength of Art  
Makes Beasts to cunn the Alphabet by heart,  
And cut their Breathes to sounds Articulate,  
Discursive congruous accents to prolate,  
For Speech is Breath, breath Air let in and out,  
But 'tis the Mind that brings the work about;  
Such a rare Charter the World's Architect  
Vouchsafed to give the Human Intellect  
To create Words, for 'tis Mankind alone  
Can Language frame, and syllabize the Tone.   

But here Beasts speak, they moan, chide, and complain,  
And at the Bar of Justice Men arraign;  
Such are our crying sins, that Beasts resent  
Our miseries, and wretched case lament:  
Nor let it seem a wonder, because now  
Wonders and Monsters so familiar grow,  
This is an Age of Wonders, every Clime  
Abounds with Prodigies, There is no Crime,  
Not a notorious Villainy or Fact,  
No foul Infandous Thing, or ugly Act  
That ever Adam's sons did perpetrate,  
But we have flagrant Instances of late.   

For Sacrilege, and horrid Blasphemies,  
Base Lies, created Fears, and Perjuries,  
For Scripture-pride, Extorsion, Avarice,  
(The root of all our Ills, and leading Vice)  
For public Fraud, false Lights, & fatuous Fires,  
Fanatic Fancies clad in Faith's attire;  
For Murder, and the crying sin of Blood,  
The like but One was never since the Flood.  
In sum, We may for these and thousands more  
Vie Villainies with any Age before;  
Which shows the World is hectical, and near  
Its Gran and Fatal Climacteric year;  
The whole Creation mourns, and doth deplore  
The ruthful state of Human kind; Therefore  
If Men can not be warned when Men do Teach,  
Then let them hearken here what Beasts do Preach.   
In Formas mutata novas Mens dicere gestit  
Corpora, & in primas iterum transversa Figuras.  
Diî faveant coeptis—  
J.H.   

THE CONTENTS Of the several SECTIONS.  

SECT. I  
CONSISTS of divers Interlocutions 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Otter, who had been first an Amstelian Mariner, and being proffered to be retransmuted to his first nature by Morphandra, and to be transported by Pererius to his own Country, yet he would hearken to neither, alleging the strange Chimaeras, and extravagant Opinions which Human Brains have been subject unto in this latter Age of the World, etc.   

SECT. TWO  
Contains an Interlocutory Discourse 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Ass, who had been once an Artonian Peasan, wherein there are some glances upon the Country itself, and upon the present Government thereof; But though Prince Pererius used all the persuasions he could, and reinforced Argument upon Argument to induce him to reassume Human shape, and so return to his Country, Calling, and Kindred, yet the Ass utterly refused it, and his Reasons why, etc.   

SECT. III  
Consists of a Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Ape, who had been once a Preachman in Gheriona, who having been carried away with every wind of Doctrine, and folling any fanatic new-fangled Opinion, was transmuted to that mimical shape; In which Dialog there is an account given of the sad case and confusion wherein Gheriona is involved at present.   

SECT. IV  
A Colloquy 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Hind, who had been once one of the gretest Beauties in Marcopolis, and for some youthful levitieses and wildness was transmuted to that shape; In this Section there are various Discourses of the state and nature of Women pro & con, etc.   

SECT. V.  
Discourses 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Mule, who in his Manhood had been a Doctor of Physic in Tumontia, whom for some Quacking tricks he had played, and for some other Reasons, Morphandra metamorphosed into a Mule; In this Section there be discourses of the Art of Physic, of the various complexions of Mankind, and of the nomberles diseases of body, and distempers of mind that are incident to the Human Creture, etc.   

SECT. VI  
Consists of Interchangeable Discourses 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Fox, who had been a Saturnian born, whom for his cunning dealings and Mountebankish wily tricks, she transformed from a Merchant to that Species; This Section treats of divers things, and particularly how the Art of true Policy is degenerated, and what poor Sciolists or Smatterers therein are cried up of late years, etc.   

SECT. VII.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Boar, wherein there are various Discourses, and particularly of the rare Sympathetic Powder that is lately found out, which works sudden and certain Cures without any topical applications of Medicines to the part affected, etc.   

SECT. VIII.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Wolf, who had been a Cuprinian Soldier, whom for his Plundring, Rapines, and Spoils she transfigured to that shape, etc.   

SECT. IX.  
A discourse 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Goat, consisting of many speculations both Natural and Metaphysical, with other Criticisms, etc.   

SECT. X.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Soland-Goose, a Carboncian born, who was transmuted to that shape for his foolishness in rebelling against his own Conterranean King, and so juggling himself into a Slavery from that Free-Government he was formerly under, etc.   

SECT. XI  
Consists of a Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Hive of Bees, who had been once a Monastery of Nuns, and were transmuted to those small Infects, because that after a years Probation, and their own praevious free Election, they murmured at that Reclused Cloister life, and wished Themselves uncloystered again; In this Section there be divers Discourses of the Immortality and high prerogatives of the Human Soul, as also of the Heavenly Hierarchy, and joys Eternal, etc.    

Bibliopola Lectori.  
If you will open this Work with ease,  
You must from Greece go fetch your Keys.   


M  
P  
F Barlowe 〈◊〉  
R Gaywood fecit    

A KEY To enter more easily into the Sense of MORPHANDRA, OR, The Parley of Beasts  

THe Otter represents a Dutch Skipper, or Mariner.  
The Ass represents a French peasan.  
The Ape represents an English Preachman.  
The Mule represents a Spanish Doctor of Physic.  
The Fox represents a Genoa or an Italian Merchant.  
The Boar represents a Germane Count  
The Wolf represents a Swedish Captain, or Freebotter.  
The Goat represents the Old Britain, or Inhabitant of Wales.  
The Soland Goose represents a Scotchman.  
The Hind represents a Venetian Courtesan.  
The Hive of Bees represents a Monastery of Nuns.    

An etymological Derivation of some Words and Anagrams in the Parley of Beasts, according to the ALPHABET.  

A  
AEtonia, the Eagles Country, represents High Germany, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 aquila.  
Alpiana represents Savoy, being a Country indented among the Alps.  
Artonia, the Country of Bread and Wine, represents France, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 panis & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 vinum.   

C  
Carboncia, the Coale-Countrey, represents Scotland.  
Cuprinia, the Copper-Countrey, represents Swethland.  
The Cinqfoyl Portugal Cardinal Mazarine, p. 21 The Coppices represents the common Peeple.  
Cerano, the Anagram of Nocera, an ancient town in Italy.   

D  
Diogenes, p. 56 Sir Kenelm Digby, 148 Dr. Harvey, 141   

G  
Gheriona, the Country of Wool, represents England, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 terra & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 lana.   

H  
Hydraulia, the Country of Waters, represents Holland, with the Confederate Provinces, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aqua, and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 populus.  
Hebrinia, Ireland, being Hibernia, anagrammatized.  
The City of Hereford, p. 122  
The Hollanders are meant, P. 72   

L  
Laroni, the D. of Lorraine.  
London Prentices, p 44.   

M  
Marcopolis, the City of S. Mark, represents Venice of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 civitas & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
Morphandra, a Queen that can transmute Men into Beasts, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 formo & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 hominem.   

N  
Nopolia, Polonia, anagrammatized.   

O  
Orosia, a Mountainous Country, represents Wales, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Mons. Oxford & Cambridge, p. 38   

P  
Pererius, a wand'ring Prince of pererrando.  
Polyhaima, the City of Blood, represents London, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 civitas & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sanguis.  
The Phrygian King, Midas.  
The Phrygian Fabler, Aesop.  
The late K. of Engl. p. 35  
The present K. Ch. p. 39   

Q  
The Queen of Sweden, p. 114  
Queen Elizabeth, p. 57   

R  
Rinarchus, the Palsgrave of the Rhine, of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, princeps, etc.  
Rugilia, the State of Genoa, the Anagram of Liguria, the ancient appellation of that Territory.  
Rainsborough, and Admiral Dean, 40  
Roundheads variously tormented in Hell, ibid.  
Rovena, the City of Verona in Lombardy, anagrammatized.   

S  
Saturnia represents Italy, Cilisia, Sicilia, ana grammatized.  
The Standels represent the Nobles and Gentry.  
Selenians, or halfmoon men, represent the Turks; of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, Luna.   

T  
Tumontia, a Country swelling with huge Hills, represents Spain Tomanto Empire, the Dominions of the Great Turk; Tomanto being Ottoman, anagrammatized.  
Tarragon, Catalunia in Spain, the ancientest town whereof is Tarragona.  
Therlu, the Anagram of Luther.  
Therologia, the language of Beasts; of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, fera; & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, sermo.   

V  
Volganians, the Moscovites, of the huge River Volga.   

W  
The West-Indies, p. 70   

Z  
Zundanians, the Peeple of Denmark.    

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The First Section.  
Consisting of divers Interlocutions 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Otter, who had been first an Amstelian Mariner, and being proffered to be transmuted to his first nature by Morphandra, and to be transported by Pererius to his own Country, yet he would hearken to neither, alleging the strange Chimaeras, and extravagant Opinions which Human brains have been subject unto, in this latter Age of the World, etc.  Pererius, Morphandra, an Otter. Pererius. 
MAy those stars be ever propitious which guided my course to this coast! may those Winds be ever prosperous which filled my sails, any blew me to this rare Island, this Theatre of Wonders! May this day be ever held Festival, and bear one of the chiefest Rubriques in the Almanac of Time, that makes me so happy with the sight of Morphandra, the divine Morphandra! And truly so, being descended in so direct a line from the highborn Circe, daughter of Sol, the admired Queen Morphandra! who useth to make Nature herself not only succumbent and passive to her desires, but actually subservient and pliable to her Transmutations and Changes.  Morphandra. 
Prince Pererius (for so I understand your quality and appellation to be); Touching the first part of your speech, which reflects upon this place, we shall endeavour to make it good by the hospitality and entertainment we shall command to be given You and your Train, as also by the rare Objects which you shall see: But as for the second part of your speech, which relates to myself, and to the power of Transmutations; I must tell you, that what I act this way, is by a special dispensation from above, for the punishment of Humane vice in an analogical or sympathetic way, according to the quality thereof, and the humours of the men: I say, it is by the permission and Fiat of the Almighty, the great God of Nature, that I do operat, not by any prestigious charms, or confederacy with Cacodaemons; not by fascinations or philtres, by spells or sorceries, as the shallowpated common people imagine I do, and so traduce me of Witchcraft, and Negromancy; yet, I confess, 'tis by way of Magic I act; for Magic was the first Philosophy among those acute Nations which are nearest the rising Sun, so that Magus or Magician signified nothing else but a Wiseman, which afterwards came to be traduced, and taken in an ill sense; As it hath been the fate of Tyrant, Sophister, and other words besides, to incur the same destiny, and I pray the same destiny may not befall the word Parliament.  Pererius. 
Most excellent Queen, now that my Stars have made me so fortunate, as to conduct me hither, let it not be held to great a presumption, if for the enriching of my knowledge, and satisfying my curiosity, I humbly desire to see some of those Human Cretures that you have anthropomorphosed, and transformed to brute Animals.  Morphandra. 
I shall willingly comply with your curiosity and desire in this kind; for you shall not only be brought to the sight of them, but you shall mingle speech with them, and interrogat what you shall think fitting concerning their present condition.  Pererius. 
But, Madam, how can that be? how can I expect that they should be capable of what I speak, and consequently What answers or replies shall I hope to receive from them, while they continue in the shapes of brute cretures?  Morphandra. 
Let that be your least care; for during that interval of time, I shall re-infuse into them the faculty both of Reason and Ratiocination, whereby you may confer and discourse freely with them by interlocutions; Nor only so, but for a further argument of the great esteem I have of you Prince Pererius, and for the heightening of your welcome to my Court, as also that you may make some real returns of your voyage hither, if you can induce and fairly persuade any of them to reassume the shapes of Human cretures, and to be invested again in their former condition, I shall give my free and full assent thereunto; nay, to oblige you yet further, I shall give way that you take them a shipboard with you, and transport them to their own Country, or whither you please besides; Provided that it be a spontaneous act, and that you have their voluntary election to this effect; for the universal Law tells us, that Volenti non fit injuria, An unforced will cannot be wronged.  Pererius. 
Most admired Princess, you engage me beyond all measure or means of retaliation, beyond all degrees of gratitude, and methinks by these high civilities you have wrought a sudden kind of transformation in me, for I find myself all transformed to admiration, to a thing of wonder, by these unparallelled favours. All that I can say for the present is, that, what air soever I breath; under what climate soever blessed Heavens shall shed their influences upon me, I shall blazon forth your nobleness for such transcendent favours all the world over.  Morphandra. 
We use not such Compliments under this Meridian, such a distance doth not use to be 'twixt the Heart and the Tongue; they are nearer Relatives here. But, before you go to exchange words with these Animals, take this Advertisement beforehand, that there are no wild or ferocious devouring cretures within the Circumference of this Isle; they live all in a gentle and general community, in an innocuous freedom, and sociableness: The Panther, Bear, and Tiger, put off their belluine fierce nature here; the Lamb will play with the Lion without any apprehensions of fear; the Hart fears not the Hound, nor the Hare the Greyhound, nor the Bore the Lime-hound; the silly Sheep fear not the Wolf or the Butcher's knife; nor Fish nor Fowl fear here the Dragnet or Tramell: but all Animals, both of Air, Earth, and Water, live in an innocent security; the reason being, that we neither kill, much less feed upon any creature here that hath blood, and a sensitive life, but upon fruits, pulse, roots, rice, with other nourishing and manducable things, that come forth gently, by the general benignity of indulgent Nature, from the bowels of our common Mother the Earth; And though we make Butter sometimes our aliment, we abhor Cheese, because the cawl of a sensitive killed creature served for the Rennet.  Pererius. 
Oh blissful Region! Truly Madam, I am of opinion, that this Island is a part, or some promontory of Paradise itself before Adam's fall, which, being slented off, and so got loose, was transported and fixed here; at least, there are some grains of that metal which went to the composition of the Golden Age of the world still remaining here unconsumed.  Morphandra. 
Well, that I may acquit myself of the promise I made unto you, Prince Pererius, let us fetch a walk in those flowery fields towards the banks of that River, to take in the freshness of the air, with the fragancy of those Vegetals: And now, in a favourable conjuncture of time, I spy a metamorphosed creature among those seggs, fit for your purpose; It is an Otter, whom I remember to have transmuted from a Mariner or Seaman, for his deboshments here; and I observe, there are no people so given to excesses as Seamen when they come ashore; which yet may be somewhat excused, for it is to recompense the hardships they endured at Sea: Nor was it an improper change for me to metamorphos the Hydraulian Mariner to that shape; for as the Otter is a kind of Amphibious creature, living partly by water, and partly by land, so a Mariner, Navigator, or Fisherman, useth to do: but there was another reason which induced me to this transmutation, for it related to the quality of the Country whence he sprung, which is so inlaid, and every where so intercutt, and indented with the Sea, or fresh navigable Rivers, that one cannot tell what to call it, either water or land; besides, the Inhabitants dwell so low, that they lie lower than the Sea in some places. And now you may make your approaches, and parley with him accordingly, while I walk up the River to visit my Nymphs.  Pererius. 
Otter, Otter! I conjure thee, as thou wast once a Man, let me interchange some words with thee, and I may chance bring thee some news from thy Country, and Kindred.  Otter. 
How is this? I not only hear, but I understand the voice of a Man, oimee! I am afraid that Morphandra hath a purpose to re-transform me, and make me put on human shape again: Well, Sir, What's your will with me?  Pererius. 
Let it not give any offence, if I desire to know What Countryman you were, when you were a Rational Creture?  Otter. 
I came first into the World in Hydraulia, not far from Amstena, and was a Mariner by my Profession.  Pererius. 
Well, the most gracious Queen Morphandra hath been pleased to promise me the favour, as to turn you into Man again, if you have a mind to it; and, from that grovelling quadrupedal shape, to make you an erect, and a rational Creture once again.  Otter. 
Sir, you bid me to my loss, for I live far more to my contentment in this species, wherein my heart and eyes are horizontal, than when I was in an upright shape.  Pererius. 
Consult better with your thoughts, for Morphandra hath not only promised to re-convert you to Man, but also she hath given me leave and liberty to carry you aboard of me, and transport you to your Country again; And I have a tight lusty Vessel in the Road, wherein you shall be accommodated with a cabin to your contentment, and all things necessary.  Otter. 
These civilities might haply deserve thanks from an other, but not from me, in regard you proffer to reduce me from better to worse; for if Experience be the touchstone of Truth, I find far more quietude and contentation in this figure of body, than I did formerly; therefore with this shape, I have put on also a resolution never to turn Man or Mariner again.  Pererius. 
I extremely wonder at this blindness, and unnatural obstinacy of yours: but now that Queen Morphandra hath, during this time of discourse betwixt us, re-indowed you with the faculty of Reason and speech, I pray impart unto me the cause of your strange aversion thus, to become Man again.  Otter. 
Truly, Sir, though Man doth vaunt, and cry up himself, to be the Epitome and Lord Paramount among all sublunary Cretures, though he vainly entitle himself, the Microcosm, yet I hold him to be the most miserable of all others; Go to his prime faculty, Reason, which, as he saith, is the specifical difference that distinguisheth him from us, I have found, that it fills his brain full of distraction, of extravagant opinions, and whimsies, of pining griefs, panting doubts, and panic fears, of violent fancies and imaginations, which oftentimes turn to frenzies; it tortures him with vexation and inquietude of spirit, insomuch, that some of the profoundest Philosophers, as I have heard, affirmed, that the Rational Soul was given to Man for his Self-punishment and Martyrdom; he may be said to be his own Tormentor, and the greatest Tyrant to himself; nay, these cruciatory passions do operat sometimes with such a violence, that they drive him to despair, and oftentimes to murder and destroy himself, before Nature hath exspird her due course in him, all which, we, that are guided only by sense, are not subject unto; We only look upon the present object before our eyes, and take no other care but for shelter, and food, and to please our appetit only.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, that all these turbulences, and perplexities of spirit proceed from the Rational faculty; but, in compensation thereof, we have by this Faculty the prerogative to know our Creator, to contemplate his works, and the fair fabric of the World; by this, we have a dominion and Empire over all other Elementary Cretures, both of Air, Earth, and Water; by the reach of this, Man with his crampons and harping-irons can draw ashore the great Leviathan; He can make the Dromedary and Camel to kneel down, and take up his burden; He can make the fierce Bull to endure his yoke; He can bring down the Vulture from his nest; by this he can ride upon the back of the vast Ocean, and with his winged Coursers ride post from one Pole to the other, as you know well by your own Profession, when you were Man and Mariner.  Otter. 
Yet these advantages come short, in my judgement, to countervail those calamities that are incident to the Rational Creture, which makes him come puling, crying, & sometimes weeping into the world, as foreteling his future miseries. But now that I have partly displayed the discomposures and vexations of his mind, I will give a touch of those infirmities that his Body is subject unto, which is no other than a Magazine of malignant humours; a hull, wherein is stowed a cargazon of numberless diseases, of putrid and ugly corruptions, insomuch that, as, in his life time, whiles he sleeps in the bosom of his causes within the Womb, there's no creature lies nearer the excrementitious parts, so there is none whose excrements are more fetid, and stinking; the fewmets of a Deer, the loesses of a Fox, the crotells of a Hare, the dung of a Horse, and the spraints that I use to void backward, are nothing so foetid; which may be the cause why, after Man's death, there's no carcase so ghastly and noisome as his, so that Toads and Serpents engender often in his scull; nor is his cadaver good for any thing when life is gone. 'Tis true, Mummy may be made of it, but it must be done by embalment, and great expense of Spices. But many things in our carcases after death, serve for divers uses, as particularly in mine; my Liver, reduced to powder, is good against the flux and Cholic; my Stones or testicles against the Palsy; and my Skin is of such value, that the fairest Ladies will be glad to wear it, etc.  Pererius. 
'Tis a great truth what you speak of Human bodies, but all this comes accidentally; it proceeds from variety of viands, esculents, and beverages, not from the primitive plastic virtue, and ordinance of nature: Moreover, that which makes them so subject to putrefaction, is, because they abound in heat and humidity more than other bodies, which oftentimes makes some parts of the Compositum rot, before life and motion leaves them. But let not these thoughts avert you from a return to your first Being, whereby, when this transitory life is ended, you may be made capable to live in the Land of Eternity; whereas all brute Animals, whose Souls soar no higher than the sense, are born to have a being only in this World: Therefore take on a manly resolution to be redintegrated into your first Principles, & so return to your own Country, and Kindred, to go on still in your Calling, which is a useful and thriving Profession, in the practice whereof you may see the Wonders of the Deep, and thereby have opportunity more often to invoke your Creator, than in any other Trade.  Otter. 
I cannot deny, but the common saying is, that He who cannot pray, must go to Church at Sea; yet I have often known, and I have tried it in myself, that a Mariner in a storm is a Saint, but when the storm is over he is a Mariner again; witness He, who in a dangerous tempest made a Vow to offer a Wax-taper as big as his Mainmast unto Saint Nicolas, if he would preserve him from shipwreck; but being come safe ashore, a Rush-candle did serve the turn; so that, nautical piety is of no longer duration than the danger.  Pererius. 
Without question, to be a Mariner or Navigator, as it is a necessary and noble Vocation, so it affords more frequent opportunities to improve a Man's devotion to Heaven, if one makes right use of it; which cannot be done more properly, than by comparing the frail Vessel wherein he sails to his own Body; If he contemplate, within the theatre of his thoughts, that the Sea whereon he tumbles, is the World; waves and surges are his passions; anger, choler, and discontentments, are the storms and tempests; his body is the bulk or hull of the ship, his neck is the stem, the keel is his back, the planks are his ribs, the beams his bones, the pintel and gudgeons are his gristles and cartilages, the several seams of the ship are his arteries, veins, and nerfs, his bowels are the ballast, his heart the principal hold, his stomach the cook-room, his teeth the chopping-knives, his lungs the bellows, concoction is the cauldron, hunger the sauce, his belly the lower deck, his kidneys the close cabins or receptacles, his arms and hands the can-hooks, his midriff the bulk-head, his scull the steerage-room with the round-house, his ears are the two chief scuttles, his eyes are the pharols, the stowage is his mouth, his lips are the hatches, his nostrils serve as gratings to let in air, the beak-head is his chin, his face and forehead the upper deck, Reason is the rudder, the anchor is resolution, constancy the capstane, prudence the pilot, the prow-misen and main-masts, are faith, hope, and charity, which last, reacheth above the Firmament: The owner of the ship is God Almighty, and Heaven the haven to which he steers his course, etc. Therefore recollect yourself, and think seriously upon it; shake off this brutish shape, and repair to the bosom of your own dear Country, and Calling.  Otter. 
Truly, Sir, to deal freely with you, I am quite out of conceit with, both: Touching the first; for me to remove hence thither, were to go from a fair flowery field into a great bog, or a kind of quagmire, for such a thing my Country may be called, if you have regard to the quality of the soil, in comparison of This: It is, for the most part, a foggy cobwebbed air; so canopied over, as it were, with thick fuliginous clouds, as if it were but one great Brewhouse; they fence out both the Aquatical Creatures from their right habitations, and the true Prince of the Country from his hereditary possessions; insomuch, that some do not stick to call them double Usurpers: It is one of the most infimous and lowest part of the terrestrial Globe; which made one say, that they were the nearest confederates and neighbours to Beelzebub. And this may be inferred also out of their natures and disposition: for openly or covertly, they have blown the bellows of all the Wars (now War is a fire, struck always in the Devil's tinderbox) that have happened round about them, ever since their Revolt from Tumontia, and since they involed Artonia, & Gheriòna in their quarrel, who first raised them to a Free-State; though I believe they have repent of it since. Add hereunto that some do doubt, Whether God and Nature did ever design that lump of coagulated Earth for the Mansion of Mankind; for of itself it produceth neither Bread to eat, nor Stone to build, nor Wool or Silk to clothe him, nor Wood or Cole, or other combustible stuff, for fuel; but the Inhabitants use to fish for Fire in the Water, for (fresh) Water in the Air, and for Air out of Fogs; insomuch, that if ever any Country may be called a Noun Adjective, surely 'tis that, for it cannot stand by itself. I remember, while I woar the shape of Man in that dull Clime, me-thought my blood was like so much Bonny-clabber within my Body, which I find now to be more quick, spriteful, and hot; though my blood in statu quo nunc be observed, I confess, to be the coldest of any Quadrupedals. Moreover, I found that Mammon and Gain was their chiefest God, and Gold their greatest Idol: but for the public Religion which they profess, they have it but in a lukewarm degree; there's scarce any heat of holiness, and devotion among most of them.  Pererius. 
I find now that you are of a true Brutish Nature, so to bewray your own Nest, and bespatter the native Soil wherein you first received life. 'Tis true, there's no Nation that hath not their peculiar humours; but touching those you speak of in your Countrymen, they have many signal Virtues that make a compensation for them; for they are one of the most industrious race of People upon Earth; so that the whole Country may be compared to a Hive of Bees, or Bank of provident Ants: They are the only Men that do Miracles now adays; they are those, who put boundaries to the raging Ocean, and by rare repercussions beat back his turgid and overwhelming billows, yet they reserve a power to command him in, at pleasure; they are those Men, who know the true Mysteries of Commerce, and how to regular it so, as to bring Trade and Policy to a Science, and certain Principles. How much are they to be commended for their neatness? Go to their Ships, they may be said to be as cleanly as a milking-pail; in their Kitchens, the outside of their Utensils are as bright as the inside; there's never a room in their house, where so much dust may be found as to draw the name of Slut upon it: There is no Country where there are fewer sorts of indigent and poor people, or where they who are poor are better lodged, and provided for. 'Tis true, they are somewhat heavy in motion, and dullish, which must be imputed to the quality of the Clime; but this dulness is recompensed with a grave advisedness, and circumspection in their Counsels; with a constancy, and perseverance afterwards, in their Actions. In fine, they are a people who truly understand their own Interest, which may be said to be the prime Principle of Wisdom, whereby they have fought themselves, from a company of Fishermen, into a High and Mighty Commonwealth.  Otter. 
Truly, Sir, 'tis pity that you had not a better subject to spend your Oratory upon. Now, Sir, concerning my former Profession, let me tell you, that to be a Mariner, or Tarpaling, is one of the most servile and slavish condition of life that can be, it is the most exposed to hardship and hazard; He was no fool, who made a question, Whether he should number a Seaman 'twixt the Living or the Dead, being not much above two inches distant from death, viz. the thickness of a rotten plank: It may be also doubted, Whether he be a Freeman, or Prisoner, being so cooped up within so narrow a compass all the while. Touching the hardship and toylsomness of this trade, let me tell you, that to plow, dig, delve, or thresh, are but exercises of ease, compared to our labour in distress of wether: How many times, when I went a fishing, did I carry icicles of frost at my nose, and fingers-ends? How oft did I eat Biscuit, so mouldy, that danced up and down with ugly Maggots? How oft did I stop my nostrils while I drunk stinking Beverage? How oft did the stench of the Pump strike me into a swoon? But I thank the Fates, and Queen Morphandra, I am now in a condition that I need not fear hunger or cold, I have a good warm Coat about me, that will last me all my life long, without patching or mending; which kind of fences against the injuries of Time, and tyranny of the Meteors, indulgent Nature provides for us sensitive Creatures, before we come into the World: whence may be inferred, that She takes more care for Our preservation than she doth of Mankind's; Beasts, have skins, Fish have scales, Birds have feathers, but Man comes naked and wawling into the World, and clothes himself afterwards with our spoils: Nor hath he any habitation or ready food, provided him by Nature; whereas other Animals find the Table laid, and the Buttery open for them as soon as they are born, and come out of the bosom of their Causes; whence it may be concluded, that they are the nobler Cretures.  Pererius. 
It is given for granted, that Man comes naked into the World, yet he hath the mastery and command, he hath the breaking, daunting, and disposing of all other Cretures for his own turn, both in Air, Earth, & Water, to clothe and feed him, according to his free election and pleasure; for all other elementary Cretures are made for his use, and principally to that end. Now 'tis a true Maxim, that the end is more noble than the mediums that serve for that end, therefore in that point there can no comparison be made between us.  Otter. 
It is an experimental Truth, that You make use of other Cretures to array and nourish you, but much labour and toil must be used, before you can bring them to serve your turn; What a deal of work must precede, ere the Tanner and Furrier can make our Skins fit for your wear? What huge varieties of labours must go before, ere Wheat come to be made Bread, and Barley Drink? There must be ploughing, harrowing, sowing, weeding, reaping, sheafing, stacking, barning, threshing, winnowing, sacking, grinding, bolting, fermenting, and baking, before you can get a bit of Bread to keep you from starving: What a deal of stir must be used, before you can get a Shirt on your back, or a handkerchief to wipe your noses withal? There must be planting, cutting down, hundling, watering, rippling, breaking, wingling, and heckling of Hemp; which labyrinth of labours and fatigues, we sentiant Cretures are free from.  Pererius. 
It is without controversy true, that Man is born to sundry sorts of labours, but it is principally to exercise his spirits, and the faculties of the intellect, and so preserve him from the rust of idleness, which makes the greatest Princes and Potentates among men to have some manual Trade, wherewith to pass away some part of their time. But, Otter, let us word away time no longer; let me know positively, whether you will make use of this singular favour, now offered you by Morphandra, with my proposal, and advice, to reassume your former nature, wherein you may so serve & praise your Creator, that may make you capable of Eternity. In your whole life you cannot meet with so fair an opportunity; for I have a Ship to transport you, and you shall be well clothed, and covered, with accommodation of all things else accordingly; therefore take Time by the Foretop, for he is bald behind, and you cannot take hold of him.  Otter. 
You may as soon wash white a Negro, or blanche an Ethiop, as soon as make me turn Man or Mariner again; therefore you do but beat the Air all this while by your persuasions; and whereas you speak of Eternity, it may be an Eternity of torments as well as of bliss, I'll none of that. But one of the greatest Peeple among Mankind, I mean the Selenians, or half-Moon-men, as also the Banians, do believe, that we also sensitive Cretures have a better World provided for us, after we have run out our course here; for we likewise have Souls in us, and certain expressions that countervail Speech, which is only understood by the Great God of Nature himself, whom we do not use to offend by any transgression of Laws, as you do.  
But I feel the Sun dart his rays somewhat quick, therefore I will go to refresh and solace myself in the gentle streams of that River.   

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The Second Section:  
Containing an Interlocutory Discourse 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Ass, who had been once an Artorian Peasan; wherein there are some glances upon the Country itself, and upon the present Government thereof. But though Prince Pererius used all the persuasions he could, and reinforced Argument upon Argument, to induce him to reassume Human shape, and so return to his Country, Kindred, and Calling: Yet the Ass utterly refused it, and his reasons why, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and an Ass. Pererius. 
INcomparable Lady, you have dilated my heart with a great deal of contentment, by admitting me to the sight of that transmuted Animal I spoke withal last, and that you made him capable all the while to entertain discourse with me pro & con, in so admirable a manner.  Morphandra. 
I have my share of that contentment you speak of: But what success have you had in your design, of working upon his inclinations to become Man again, and so return to his Country and Calling?  Pererius. 
Madame, I have had conference with him of both, but he seems to undervalue, or rather abhor the one, as much as the other, preferring the Species, and present state he lives in under your Dominion, to the state and former essence of a Man. Yet I am confident, that if you please to extend your favour further towards me, that I may mingle discourse with some other, and put him in a capacity to hear, understand, and answer me, I am confident, I say, that I shall prevail with him, to be re-invested in his first Being.  Morphandra. 
I espy upon the flank of that hillock an Ass, whom I remember to have transmuted from an Artonian Peasan to that figure you see him in, whom I will re-indue with Reason and Ratiocination to hearken unto your persuasions accordingly: And if you can prevail with him, he shall put on his first Nature again; But as the power comes from me, so the will must proceed from himself to work this effect.  Pererius. 
Madame, you will perform hereby the part of an Angel, for I never heard of any Ass that ever spoke (unless it were in Fables) but of one, and that was at the appearance of an Angel, which was by way of true Miracle.  Morphandra. 
Yet I have been told, that one of your greatest Philosophers Ammonius Alexandrinus, whose Disciple Origen was, hath it upon record, That an Ass was once an Auditor of Wisdom. But touching that Ass you mentioned before, I hear, the Lawyers of your Country have something of his nature in them, for they will not speak unless Angels appear unto them.  Pererius. 
'Tis a great truth, Madam, for our Lawyer's tongues are said to be of an humour, contrary to the Axletree of a new Cart, in regard we use to anoint that, because it may keep no creaking or noise, but the Lawyer's tongues must be anointed, and oiled with an Unguentum Rubrum, that they may make more noise, and to have their tongues more glib.  Morphandra. 
The more is the foolishness of men discovered in this point, who sometimes out of a pride, malice, or envy, sometimes out of a mere litigious humour, use to exhaust their estates, and impoverish themselves, to enrich others by this means; As I remember to have heard a facetious passage of a wealthy Lawyer, who having built a fair Palace of Freestone, with Marble intermixed, and having invited a knowing friend of his to take a view of the new house, and observe the symmetry, proportion, & conveniencies of the fabric, He asked his friend at last, what he thought that House was built of? He answered, I see 'tis built of good Freestone and Marble, The Lawyer replied, No, Sir, 'tis a deceptio visûs in you, for this house is made of Ass' heads and Fools sculls, meaning the multitude of Clients he had had. To such the proverb may sometimes be applied, that as the Ass oftentimes carries gold on his back, yet feeds on thistles, so many poor Clients carry gold in their pockets to feed their Lawyers, yet they fare hard themselves, and are ready to famish. But to leave off these impertinences, you may please to go on in the pursuit of your enterprise, to try whether yonder long-eared metamorphosed Animal will bring your intent home to your aim, and turn Man.  Pererius. 
I most humbly kiss your hands, and will towards him. Poor stupid creature, how camest thou to be so unhappily transformed, or deformed rather, by assumption of this shape? For I understand by Queen Morphandra, that thou was't once a Man. How much do I pity thy condition, compared to that which thou was't formerly of.  Ass. 
Sir, you may reserve your pity for others, in regard I need it not; for I thank the Fates, and Queen Morphandra, I enjoy myself, and the common benefits of nature, viz. Air, Earth, and Water, which are the staple commodities of all sublunary cretures, I say, I enjoy all these more than ever I did, Fenell excepted, which is my only enemy. 'Tis true, I was once a Man, an Artonian born, my profession was both a Vineyard-man, and a Roturer, a poor Peasan I was, who for all my labour and toil, could hardly gain what could bear up the two columns of life in me, viz. the Radical moisture and Natural heat, much less to maintain my wife and family in any vigour.  Pererius. 
How could that be in so rich and plentiful a country as Artonia is known to be? where, according to her name, Ceres is said to have her chief Granary, and Bacchus his prime Cellars; where Neptune hath also his principle Salt-pits, and whence Venus commonly useth to fetch her smocks?  Ass. 
'Tis granted, that Artonia in fecundity and selfsufficiency, yields to no other Region under the Sun, which makes some call her a Noun substantive, that can stand by itself; yet it may well be said, that there's is no Country under the cope of Heaven, where there's less want, and more beggars, or more people, and fewer men; The reason of the first, to my grief I speak it, is, that the common stock and wealth of the Country is by Maladministration so unequally proportioned, and distributed among the Native Inhabitants thereof; for the Court and the Clergy suck the greatest part of the fat, whence grew the Proverb, What the Cheque takes not, the Church takes. I speak not this, because I repine at any acts of piety towards the holy and decent worship of God Almighty, and Legacies left by sweet devoted souls. Touching the first, 'tis too well known, that the very Tallies, besides the Demeans of the Crown, and the Customs, amount communibus annis to near upon twenty millions of Crowns, whereof 'tis true, that about four millions were remitted in the year 1648. Then the gabelle of Salt amounts to about seven millions every year, which is looked unto so narrowly, that a poor Peasan cannot carry a pocket or purse-full of salt home to his poor wife, but he must be searched. Then there are the Taillons, Aids, Droits, with divers other Impositions and Taxes, which though at first they were pretended to be imposed for the present necessity of the times, yet Sovereign Princes are known to have the gift of making Temporary things Eternal in this kind; Nevertheless, if this immense treasure went to the King's treasure alone, for the common defence and honour of the State, it would not so much trouble them that pay it; but three parts of four are drunk up among hungry Officers, whence grew the proverb, that the King's cheese goes away three parts in parings.  
Touching the second, by a late computation that was made, the Clergy hath in annual Revenue a hundred and six millions of Crowns, and no wonder, there being in that Country, besides Cardinals, and fifteen Archbishops, a hundred and fifty Suffragan Bishops, and I know not how many fat Abbots, with other Dignitaries, Monks, and Monasteries without number.  
Then comes in the Noblesse, or Gentry, which have all the rest; Insomuch that betwixt these three, the poor Commoner, who yet makes up the bulk of the Nation, useth to be grinded as betwixt so many millstones, whence grew this saying, that the Artonian Peasans are born with Chains: Yet they are the supporters of all the other three, and whence they have their subsistence; Insomuch that Artonia may be compared to a stately Palace, born up by mud-pillars; While the poor toiling peasan melts the hoar frost with the sweat that trickles down his cheeks, others by good fire-sides drink carouses in the wine which he plants, while he with his panting breath and anhelation thickens the air before him, others with Carols and wanton musical Catches do attenuat it.  
Concerning the second point I spoke of, viz. That no Country hath more people and fewer men than Artonia, 'tis a truth too well known; and the reason is, that the oppressed Commons do so languish and groan under the insupportable burdens of the foresaid Exactions, and heavy Rents besides to their Landlords, that they use to grow so dejected, pusillanimous, and heartless, their spirits come to be so cowed and cowardized, that not one in twenty hath the courage of a man in him, or is found fit to shoulder a Musket, to trail a Pike, or perform any other military or manly service.  Pererius. 
'Tis an apparent truth, that the Artonian Gentry are so numerous, and use to rack the Peasantry so, that it makes them very abject and heartless; for herein the Political body may be faid to be like the Natural; wherein if the blood and spirits were drawn all up into the upper parts, the supporting members below, as the legs and thighs, cannot have that proportion of natural heat and vigour to quicken themselves, the blood being all engrossed by the parts above. If the Standells be planted too thick in a Coppice, there cannot be clean Underwoods', for they will turn all to dwarfish Shrubs. But the common people of Artonia may thank their own volatile humours and nature for this, which is so instable, and still so covetous of change, that if they were fed high, and pampered with too much plenty, they would ever and anon rush into civil commotions and tintamarrs, they would winch, and go about to shake off the reins of Government, and overthrow their Rider; Therefore being so fiery-mouthed, 'tis fit they should be ridden with a bit or curb, nor can it be termed Tyranny, or any Soloecism in Government, that they are used so.  Ass. 
Sir, under favour you put the saddle on the wrong horse 'tis not the Commonalty, but the Gentry, and they who are in high blood, that have such tumultuous boiling spirits within them, they are those who cause fevers and convulsions in the bowels of their own Country, which I confess are frequent, whence some observe, that though the air of Artonia be not so hot as that of her next neighbour Tumontia, yet she is more subject to distempers, Calentures, and Tovardillios'; Therefore 'tis one of the prime policies of Artonia to find her Gentry some work abroad, and employ them ever and anon in foreign Wars; And there have been of late two fiery Flamines, one after the other, who have put this policy in practice to some purpose, their sanguine humours symbolising with the colour of their habit, whereby ne'er upon a million of souls have perished within these few years. Touching the second of these, his father little dreamt when he sold hats in Silicia, that his son should mount so high as to wear the Red-cornered Cap, and give the Law to all Artonia; whereby some hold it to be no small disparagement to so gallant a Nation, and subtle a Clime as Artonia is known to be, to have none of her own children that had brain enough to sit at the helm of her Government, but to suffer a Foreigner to lead all her Nobles by the nose, as also to incorporate his family with the Blood-royal of Artonia and Alpiana.  Pererius. 
Well, let us leave these digressions, for as the proverb runs in your country, We have leapt from the Cock to the Ass all this while, we have gone astray from the matter, let's return to the first subject of our discourse, and to my main design; Poor long-eared patient beast, wilt thou shake off this thy ill-favoured braying nature, and the species of a brute, to become perfect Man again?  Ass. 
Sir, though I were acertained to be one of Artonia's Peers, I would not do it; But, Sir, touching my Ears, you need not take me by them in so reproachful a manner: for you know a Phrygian King did wear once an Ass his ears, and he was the richest that ever was among Mortals; Besides, my Ears have a prophetic vertu, for when I prick them up, 'tis an infallible presage of foul wether; Touching my braying, it is the tone which Nature hath given me, and all the individuals of my kind, and you must grant, that Nature the handmaid of God Almighty doth not use to do any thing illfavouredly; But in lieu of our braying you have a passion, and as I remember your Philosophers call it the proper passion of man, that is a far more distorting and ridiculous violent posture, 'tis your Laughter, which happens when your pleasure hath the liberty to scatter itself abroad, and that the senses bear a share therein, for than it causeth such an agitation, that the whole physiognomy of the face is changed, it begins to sparkle in the eyes, and mingleth itself ofttimes with forced tears, the forehead stretcheth itself, the lips grow red, they tremble and slaver oftentimes, the voice becomes grosser than ordinary, and resounds, the rest of the body is subject to this agitation, an unusual heat and vapour shedds itself through all its parts, which swells, and gives a new colour, the eyebrows decline, the lids contract themselves, and all the skin about them becomes uneven, and wrinkles itself all over, the eyes extenuat, they half shut themselves, and grow humid, the nose crumples up, and grows sharp, the lips retire and lengthen, there is an ill-favoured kind of gaping, and discovery of the teeth, the cheeks lift up themselves and grow more stiff, they have pits digged in them during the time, the mouth is forced to open, and discovers the tremble of the suspended tongue, it thrusts out an obstreperous interrupted sound, and oftentimes there is a stopping of breath, the neck swells and shortens itself, all the veins grow greater, and extended, an extraordinary hue disperseth itself over all the face, which grows reddish, the breast is impetuously agitated, and with sudden reiterated shakes, that it hinders respiration, the perfect use of speech is lost, and it is impossible to swallow during the fit, a pain rises in the flank, the whole body bends, and as it were wreaths and gathers itself together, the hands are set on the sides, and press them forcibly, sweat gets up on the face, the voice is lost in hickocks, and the breath is stifled with sighs; sometimes this agitation gets to so high an excess, that it produceth the same violent effect as medicaments use to do, which is to put the bones so out of joint that it causeth syncopes; The head and the arms suffer the same throws, with the breast and the thighs, the body hurls itself with precipitation and disorder, and is cast from one side to the other; The hands become feeble, the legs cannot support themselves, and the body is constrained to fall, and tumble, nay it causeth sometimes dangerous syncopes in the heart, and so brings death. Weeping also the counter-passion hath many of these ill-favoured motions, what an odd kind of face doth an infant make assoon as he is born? how some of ripe age will screech, cry and howl in so many disordered notes, and singultient accents? Whereas we by our braying hold up our heads only, and so breath out our passions into the open air, without any forced tones, or such variety of distorted postures.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, that Laughter produceth sundry motions and pleasing violences in the human body, but they are recompensed by the joy that accompanieth it, which useth to rouse and raise up our slumbering spirits, and melancholy thoughts with an unusual mirth and complaceny, whence it comes, that after those two, Doctor Diet, and Doctor Quiet, Doctor Merriman is requisite to preserve health; Touching the other passion Sorrow, and the various emissions of it, it is an ease also to the spirits, which without such ventings would be subject to strangulations; But, poor Ass, do not let slip this fair opportunity which gracious Queen Morphandra offers thee, by my intervention, to be redintegrated and made a Rational creature again.  Ass. 
I told you before but of the outward servitude and exigents that I endured when I was a Man, which were incident only to the body: I have not spoken to you any thing of the perturbations of the brain, and the inward agonies of the mind, which did trouble and torment me much more; How was I perpetually vexed not only to pay the common Taxes, and other pecuniary erogations, with my domineering Landlords Rents, but to find daily bread, sustenance, and clothing for my wife and children; Now children is one of the greatest encumbrances that belong to mankind; for as the proverb goes, Children are a certain care, and an incertain comfort; But they of my species at present are exempt from this, and a thousand inconveniencies more which are entailed upon mankind: 'Tis true, touching our offsprings while they are young, and unable to do for themselves, we are indulgent of them, and that for a short time, but afterwards we lose all care of them, being able to shift for themselves.  Pererius. 
Yes, and with your care you lose all affections unto them besides, but such is the nobleness of Man's nature, that both continu in him during life unto the third and fourth generation; Therefore without further ado, think upon thy first Being, and to be restored thereunto: Otherwise thou wilt be more foolish than that poor baffled Ass in the Fable, who when a Horse came unto him, and out of wantonness had desired him to lift up his left hinder leg, and take out a stone that had got into his foot, as soon as he had lifted up the leg, the Horse fell a kicking him ill-favourelly on the face, and almost dashed out his brains; Or thou wilt be as foolish as the Ass, who seeing a Spaniel sawn upon his Master, and getting into his lap, where he was stroked, the Ass thought to do so too, but instead of being stroked, he was struck and bastinadoed away for his sauciness, which shows that an Ass is a more contemptible thing than a Dog.  Ass. 
As contemptible as we are, there are two of us who have a bright place in Heaven, as the Constellation of Cancer will show you; As contemptible as we are, some of your gretest Philosophers have held grave disputes of our very shadow, and Apuleius' golden Ass makes him famous to eternity; As contemptible as we are, the strongest man that ever was, made use of the jawbone of one of us to destroy thousands of his enemies; The great Empress Poppaea used our milk to make her skin the whiter, and you know what a Sovereign thing that milk is against Consumptions, and Dysenteries; nay our very Urine is found to be good against Tilers or Morphews in Lady's faces; Lastly, you know who made his entry into jerusalem upon one of Us, for which we carry the Cross upon our shoulders as the badge of a blessing to this day, which made a zealous Tumontian break out into these lines upon the sight of that History of Palm-sunday, near a Church door. 
Asno quien a Dios llevays  
Oxala yo fuera vos,  
Supplico os Dios me hagays  
Como el Asno en que vays,  
y dizen que le oyò Dios.  
O happy Ass who God dost bear,  
Such as Thou art, O would I were.  
'Tis said the man did pray so hard  
That prayer and person both were heard.   Pererius. 
Poor besotted beast, yet thou knowest there can be no comparison 'twixt the best of Brutes and the basest of human cretures, who by the faculty of Reason can tame and reduce to his subjection the strongest of other Animals, though never so fierce and corpulent, and make them know that He is their Lord and Master.  Ass. 
Whereas you speak of fierceness, truly Sir I think there's no Animal so fierce and ferocious, so savage and intractable as Man: for whereas all other cretures can be ruled, daunted, and broken, easily governed in time, the Art of governing Men is the most difficult of any, because of their various fancies and imaginations, their crosse-grained humours and pride, all which proceeds from the faculty of Reason you speak of; Therefore I was very glad to be rid of it by this transfiguration, and the time seems tedious unto me that I have the use of it now so long to parley with you, for I remember when I was a Man, it filled the cells of my brain ever and anon with turbid and turbulent cogitations, with strange chimaeras and crotchets, which disquieted the tranquillity and calm of my mind; And as for my Body, this shape which I now bear is more healthful far and neat, for now I am not subject to breed Lice and other Vermin; And whereas this pedicular disease, with a nomberlesse sort of other maladies and distempers, attend Mankind, there's but one only disease that our Species is subject unto, which the Veterenarians or Farriers call Malila, and that is only in the head, when some unusual defluxion of rheum falls thence into the nostrils, which being stopped turns to the improvement of health, but if once it falls upon the lungs we are gone: And observable it is, that being dead, we have cleaner carcases than Men, and divers medicinal things are found in them, as our Liver, Hoofs, or Bones being reduced to powder are good, as the Naturalists note, against the Epilepsy or comitial sickness, with other diseases; Nor do any crawling nasty worms grow out of our Cadavers, but Beetles, and other airy Infects, which are not so noisome; But I have spent too much time with you, I will therefore go now to browse upon the green leaves of that Bramble.  Pererius. 
Well, I find here two Proverbs verified, the one is a homely one, viz. Chanter a un Asne, il vous donnera un pet, Sing to an Ass and he will give you a Bum-crack The other, that one may bring an Ass to the water, but not make him drink unless he list himself.  Ass. 
'Tis very true, I remember well they are proverbs used in our Country, but the last shows much the temperance of our Species, for we do not eat or drink but when we are a thirst or hungry, for the restauration of the parts that are lost, that is when nature requires it; But you use to gourmandize it upon full stomaches, to force carouses and Whole-ones until you be full up to the very throat, and so transform yourselves to worse than Asses, so that ofttimes neither hand nor foot can do their duty: which we never do.  Pererius to himself. 
It is a strange and strong incantation that holds this poor Animal in this brutality, I will by the favour of Morphandra try a conclusion next upon some other of a quicker apprehension, and one who had lived in a more plentiful and contented train of life whiles he was Man.   

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The Third Section.  
Consisting of a Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and an Ape, who had been once a Preachman in Gheriona, who having been carried away with every wind of Doctrine, and following any fanatic new-fangled opinion, was transmuted to that mimical shape; In which Dialog there is an account given of the sad case and confusion, wherein Gheriona is involved at present, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, an Ape. Morphandra. 
I Saw you somewhat earnest in banding arguments with that Ass, but how have you sped? doth he desire to be disasinated, and become Man again, as I promised he should be, provided his will concurred thereunto?  Pererius. 
Truly, Madam, I find the old proverb true, that he who washeth an Asse's head doth lose both time and soap; But, these two Animals I have treated withal, lived in a poor ignorant condition when they were Men: I humbly desire I may mingle speeches with some transmuted Animals, who when they were Rational cretures did live in plenty, and at ease, and who were bred up in knowledge.  Morphandra. 
You shall have your desire, and in that Grove I spy an Ape, who was once a prick-eared Preachman in Gheriôna, whom for his mimical foolish humour, and following any new fond fatuous opinion, I thought it proper to transmute to that shape; Besides, I turned him to that long-tailed beast, because they of his country are called Stertmen that is men with long-tailes, for which there is both Tradition and Story; He came hither Chaplain to a Frigate, and had not the ship quickly tacked about and got away, I had transfigured all the rest.  Ape. 
By the earnestness of your looks and gazing, I believe you would speak with me, therefore I pray what's your pleasure?  Pererius 
Poor Ape, thou art an object of much pity; Queen Morphandra hath been pleased to discover unto me that thou was't once a man, and born in Gheriona, a noble Country, and a Nation of no less esteem.  Ape. 
'Tis true, the Country is good, but she may be said to be now like Lucian's sick Eagle, shot and pitifully wounded with shafts of her own feathers, Gheriona never showed she had in her as much to make her happy, as she shows now to make herself unhappy; I fear me, there be some further dreadful judgements, as the Famine and the Pestilence hanging over her: for it hath been observed that those three scourges of Heaven, 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, the Famine, the Plague, and the civil Wars are consecutif, and use to follow one another, though the last hath got the start of the other two; But concerning the people, I verily believe there were never any so far degenerated since the Devil had to do with mankind, never any who did fool and puppifie themselves into such a perfect slavery▪ and confusion; You seem to pity my transfiguration from Man to Ape, but their case is to be much more resented, for they are turned from Men to Wolf's, if you go to their humours, there's a true Lycanthropy among them, else they would never worry and devour one another in so savage a manner; All which proceeds from a sad disease which hath seized upon many thousands of them, it is a pure Scotomia, an odd kind of Vertigo that reigns amongst them, which turns the head round, and fills it with new chimaeras ever and anon; 'Tis true that my countrymen were ever observed to be inconstant in the fashion of their clothing, in their outward comportment and garbs, which proceeded from Imitation more than natural Inclination; But this mimical apish humour hath extended of late years not only to their external habits, but to the inward habitudes of their minds, and taken hold of their Intellectuals, by being carried away with every wind of Doctrine, and fanatical new-fangled opinions, blown over from other Countries, and then multiplying amongst them; For though my countrymen have not any great Genius to invent, yet 'tis observed they have a faculty to add to any new invention; and if any new odd opinion in Holy things hath once taken footing among them, they will make it run upon more feet; Now it is in Divinity as in Philosophy, Uno absurdo dato sequuntur mille, One absurdity being granted a thousand will follow, as Aristotle the Philosophers-Pope doth affrim, for Errors like ill weeds do grow apace; And truly I must confess, that this apish humour had seized strongly upon me, which made me distrub the peace of the holy Church wherein I was born, baptised, and bred, which made Queen Morphandra to transform me justly to this shape you see, being entertained Chaplain to a Man of War that arrived at this Island, though I had been sensible of mine own errors a good while before.  Pererius. 
I know well that there was in Gheriona a comely face of a Church; There were such solemnities, venerations, and decencies used, that might discover some piety in the practice of holy duties; There was a public Liturgy that linked the souls of the whole Nation in an unanimity, wherein there were such pithy pathetical prayers that reached all occasions, and searched every cranny in the conscience; The Sacraments were administered with a fitting posture of reverence, and genuflexion, yet far from any superstition; God's houses were kept neat, cleanly, and in repair; There was such a prudent handsome Government, such degrees of promotion, such possessions annexed to the Church, that made them of that holy function not only to be esteemed and reverenced, but to be able to do deeds of charity; But now I hear there's crept up such a nasty race of miscreants, who have no more esteem of God Almighty's House than of a Pig-sty, who have turned a pretended Superstition to a palpable Profaneness, who have plundered all that belonged to pious uses, who have nothing of that veneration, that sweetness, and comfort that useth to attend true devotion, which is turned to a giddy zeal, or a kind of lust still after more learning, as if Christianity had no consistence or certainty, no sobriety; or end of knowledge, wherein the inward man might acquiesce; These poor simpletons pretending to imitate the Apostles time would have the same form of Discipline and Mode to govern whole Nations, as it did at first a Chamber-full of men in the Infancy of the Christian Church; They would make the same coat serve our Saviour at five and twenty years, as fitted him at five: But you were speaking of other dreadful judgements that you believe were hanging over Gheriona, and what are the reasons that induce you to that belief?  Ape. 
I remember when I had a human shape I was much addicted to the reading of History, which is a profitable knowledge, for the observation of former actions may serve to regulat the future; I took notice of a world of examples that the two nefandous crimes of Sacrilege and Perjury never went unpunished without some signal judgements; Among divers other these two do reign and rage in Gheriona more than they ever did in any Country under the cope of Heaven, and must she not then expect the vials of a just vengeance to fall down upon Her from above? But that you may better understand the state of that calamitous Country, that Country of confusion, I will recount to you what befell me before my transmutation.  Perertus. 
You will oblige me beyond measure, if you impart unto me what you intent, and I shall listen unto you with much patience, and no less contentment.  Ass. 
It chanced one night I had a strange unusual Dream, I had fallen into so sound a sleep, as if the Cinq-ports (my five outward senses) had been trebly locked up; My Animula vagula blandula, my little wand'ring soul made a sally out of Morpheus Horn-gate, as she uses to do often, and fetch vagaries apart, to practise how she may live by herself after our dissolution, when she is separated from the Body and become a Spirit; I had all night long a world of visions, and strange objects appeerd unto me, which return now fresh into my memory; During the said time I thought I was transported to the remotest place, and of the greatest distance that possibly could be from Heaven, me thought I was in the Infernal pit, in the kingdom of darkness, in Hell itself among the devils and damned spirits, I had neither that golden branch, nor the help of a Sibylla Cumana to conduct me up and down as the Trojan Prince had, but a spirit did lead me gently and softly all along until I came to Pluto's Palace, where a special Council was held to take a strict examination what service the three infernal Furies, Allecto, Tisiphone, and Megaera, with other inferior Fiends that were their assistants, had done upon earth towards the advancement of the kingdom of darkness since their last mission thither, which was presently upon the appearance of the last blazing Star 1618. Pluto vouchsafed to be present at this solemn Council, and to be Precedent or Chairman himself, to which purpose he had a strong Legion of Cacodaemons for his guard, but the business was prepared and facilitated for his hearing before hand by a special Committee appointed of purpose for that end (whence I observed, that Committees were first hatched in Hell) The three ghastly Daughters of Night appeared with fiery conntenances before the Stygian King, in lieu of air they evaporated huge flakes of fire which they took in, and let out with the accents of their words, huge bunches of Vipers hung dangling and wauring about their heads, having their tails rooted in their sculls; A furious clash fell betwixt them who should be Prolocutrix, but in regard that Allecto and Tisiphone had given account of their former missions, the one of the League in Artonia, the other of the Revolt of the Hydraulian, which was about the appearance of the Comet in the tail of Cassiopaea, it came now in due turn that Megaera should have the priority of speech; So the youngest of the Tartarean girls began as followeth.  
May it please your high phlegetontic Majesty to understand, that since the last happy Comet Anno 1618. which by the parallax was found to be in the Heaven itself above the Elementary world, we have for forty years together been more active and eager in your Majesty's service than ever we were; We have stirred the humours of the foolish Inhabitants of the earth to insurrections, to war and praeliation; To effect which, our practice hath been to bring on the beggarliest and toughest people upon the nicest and softest, we brought the Cuprinian upon the Aetonian, and the Zoundanian, the Tarragon, and Cinqfoyl upon the Tumontian, the Tartar upon the Chinois, the Selenian upon the Marcopolist, the Cosaque upon the Pole, the Carboneian upon the Gherionian; We have continued a bloody lingering War in the bowels of Artonia for thirty years together, we have thrust divers Princes out of their ancient Inheritances, among others the Duke of Laroni and Rhinarchos, we brought two gran Selenian Emperors to be strangled by their own slaves, we have often puzzled Vinalia, we have made the Kings of Artonia and Tumontia to bandy so fiercely one against the other, as if the one had been an Infidel the other a jew, though each of them had one another's sister a-bed with him every night. But may it please your Acherontic Majesty to be informed, that the most advantageous and signal services we have done, have been in the lsles of Gheriona and Hebrinia, for whereas we divided ourselves before, and went singly among other people, we went jointly thither all three, and brought a Regiment of fiery red-coated Cacodaemons to guard us, because we might be sure to bring our great work home to your Majesty's aim; The Nation fittest for our turn at first were the Carboncian, who have been so obedient to their Kings, that of above a hundred they brag of, scarce two parts of three died in their beds, but were made away violently; We did incite them first against their own Countryman and Native King, and to appear in a daring high hostile manner before him upon the borders; At which time it cost us a great deal of artifice so to besot the Gherioniams, and to abase their courage, so to entangle them with Factions, having sure Confidents to that end among them, that they durst not present Battle to the Carboncian at that time; And this, Sir, was an important piece of service, for had they fought then, or had they been sensible afterwards of the dishonour they received at that time, their King being then amongst them in person, with the flower of his Nobility and Gentry, and consequently had they stuck to him afterwards to have vindicated that rebellious affront, all those we have fomented since might have been prevented.  
We shortly after transmitted the same spirit of Insurrection into Hebrinia, who being encouraged by the good successes of the Carboneian, who got then what terms he listed, yet could he not sit quiet; and the Hebrinian Commissioners being but harshly entertained by the great Council of Gheriona, who intended to send them over a Governor that should pinch them more than they were before in their consciences, and for divers other provocations, we caused the Hebrinian also to rise in blood, which he did to some purpose; Then came we to work upon the Gherionian, whom we found as fit to receive our impression as flax is to receive fire, in regard of their long Furseit of peace and plenty; We broke up one great Assembly upon a sudden, because the members thereof were not for our turn, But then we called another which was fit for our purpose, and we steered their courses all the while with a great deal of care; The first thing we did was to endue them with a faculty to create fears and jealousies, whereof we made excellent use, and although those fears and jealousies appeared afterwards to every common man as plain as the nose on his face to be but mere forgeries, and supposititious things, yet we did still so intoxicat their intellectuals, that we made them to adore still the coiners of them; And to give your Stygian Majesty among divers others, one most pregnant and undeniable demonstration what firm footing we got in that Island, we did raise in few years' more Pythonesses, which the ignorant vulgar call Witches there, then ever were in that Country since your Majesty tempted Eve; and we enabled our said Pythonesses to send their inferior Imps abroad upon our service; We stood at the King's elbow when he passed the Act of continuance, wherein a Carboncian was our chief Engineer; But the great City Polihaima stood us in most excellent steed to compass our designs, we made the riffraff and rakehells of that wanton City, whom some called Myrmidons, others their Bandogs, to rabble the King out of Town, we brought also thither the silly Swains of the Country like a flock of Geese to gaggle up and down the streets with papers in their hats they knew not about what; We managed the business afterwards so dextrously, and did aggravate things by degrees, that we made their credulous King, because he was so professed an enemy to your Majesty, to go disguised in serving-man's habit to his Countrymen the Carboncians, with whom we prevailed so far, that they delivered him over as a Sacrifice, and betrayed him judas like to the Gherionians, who crucified him sufficiently afterwards by tossing and tumbling him up and down, by depriving him of the comfort of all things that use to be dear unto man, as his wife, children, friends, and servants, by working upon his conscience in a compulsatory way, and stretching it upon the very tenter; In sum, we have reduced that Country to a conformity with this of your Majesties, to a perfect Chaos of all confusion, we have brought the sway into the common peeples hands, making all the Nobility and Gentry to crouch and cringe unto them; And never did common people more truly act the part, and discover the genius of a common people more lively, whose nature is still thirsting after novelties, and Utopian Reformations, though oftentimes they fool themselves thereby into a a base kind of slavery, finding when 'tis too late those specious idaeas, and confused forms of Government they apprehended at first, and hugged in their own conceits, to be at last but mere absurdities, when they come to the application and practise thereof.  
And, Sir, the most advantageous instruments we have used to bring all this about have been the Pulpit and the Press, by these we diffused those supposititious fears and jealousies, formerly spoken of, to distract the brains of the silly vulgar; Instead of Lights we put Firebrands in their Churches, who, according as we did dictat unto them, did bawl out nothing but sedition, war, and blood; We have made some of them to have as good an opinion of the Koran as of their own Liturgy; We made new Ordinances to batter down all the ancient Canons of the Church, we have made them to un-saint all those who were called Apostles, to profane and plunder all places that were consecrated, we brought some of them to put a division 'twixt the Trinity itself, we have brought them to keep their Fasts more solemnly than the Sabbath, upon which day we made them usually not only to sit in Council, but to put in execution their chief designs of blood; To work all this, the main and most material thing we made use of was spiritual pride your Majesty's old acquaintance, which pride we have infused into the mind of every Mechanic, or Country-Swain, who will boldly now undertake to expound any Text of Scripture new or old upon the warrant of his own giddy brain; Insomuch that we have made that Book which they call the Bible, that was ordained for the Charter of their Salvation, to be the chiefest instrument of their Damnation; We have brought those exotic words Plundering and Storming, and that once abominable word Excise to be now familiar among them, they are all made free Denizens, and naturalised among them; We have made those who came petitioners for peace to the great Council to be ill entreated, and some of them to be murdered, but those that came for war to be countenanced and thanked; We made the mother to betray her child, the child the father, the husband the wife, and the servant his master; We have brought a perfect Tyranny over their souls and bodies, upon the one, by tedious imprisonments and captivity, with a forfeiture of all their livelihoods before conviction, or any preceding charge, upon the other, by forcing them to take contradictory Oaths, Engagements, and Protestations; On that foolish superstitious day of Christmas, with other Festivals, we have brought them to shut up their Churches, and to open their Shops and Shambles, so that in time they will forget the very memory of the Incarnation of their Saviour; We have brought them to have as little reverence of their Temples as of their Tap-houses, and to hold the Church to be no more than a Charnell-house of rotten bones; And though they still cringe and stand bareheaded before any wrangling Bench of common pleading, yet we have so stiffened their joints, and made their heads so tender in that which they call God's House, that there, they can neither bow the one, nor scarce uncover the other; We have made the fundamental Laws to be called but mere formalities; We have made that which was called their Great Charter to be torn to a thousand flitters, and stretched the privilege of the Commons so wide, that it hath quite swallowed the Royal Prerogative, and all other privileges; We have grubbed up, and cast away those hopeful Plants that grew in their two Seminaeries of Learning, and set in them graffs of our own choice; We have made the wealth of Town and Country, of Poor and Rich, to shine in plunder upon the Soldier's backs; We have made them command freequarter of those, that were more sitting to ask alms of them; We have made them rifle the Monuments of the dead, to rob the very Lazaretro, to strip the Orphan and Widow; We have made them offer violence to the very Vegetables and inanimat Stones, to violate any thing that was held holy, to make Socks of Surplices, to water their beasts at the Font, and feed them on the Altar, and to term the thing they call the Sacrament to be but a twopenny Ordinary; We have made them use on the close-stool that Book wherein the public Devotion of the whole Nation consisted; In fine, we have made them turn supposed superstition to gross profaneness, preaching to prating, praying to raving, government to confusion, and freedom to fetters; We have so intoxicated that dear daughter of yours Polihaima, that she knows not what way to turn herself; And whereas her Apprentices did rise up like so many Cubs of Tigers against their lawful Prince, they are now become as came as so many silly sheep against the Soldiery; We have puzzled their Pericranium with vertiginous fancies, and fears among themselves, that one neighbour dare not trust the other; To conclude, we have eclipsed the glory of that Nation, we have made them by all people far and near that ever had knowledge, correspondence, or any commerce with them, to be pitied by some, to be laughed at by others, to be scorned of all, and to become the very tail of all Nations; In fine, Sir, we have brought that Country to such a pass of confusion, that it is a fit place only for your infernal Majesty to keep your Court in, for there's never a Cross there to fright you now: 'Tis true they retain it still upon their coins of gold and silver, in honour of your Plutonian Highness as you are Dis and god of riches.  
Megaera having thus given up an account in behalf of herself and her two sisters, they all bowed their snaky heads down to their very feet, which were toed with Scorpions, before the black Throne of Beelzebub, who giving such a humm that made all Hell to tremble, answered thus,  
My precious and most trusty Tartarean daughters, we highly approve of the super-erogatory service you have done us for the propagation of our Empire upon Earth, and specially in Gheriona; we have sued a long time to have a lease of that Island, and we hope to obtain it, touching Carboncia 'tis not worth the while; Therefore when you have visited those of that Nation whom you have sent hither already to people this pit, I would have you return thither, and prepare that place for one of our principal habitations, never leave them till you have thrust out Religionem ex solo as well as Regem ex solio; make Law, Religion, Allegiance, and every thing else Arbitrary, let not one government last long, but shuffle the Cards so that a new Trump may be turned up often, create still new fears, and foment fresh divisions among them; let the son seek the father's throat, let brothers sheathe their swords in one another's bowels, let the Country clash with the Towns, the Towns one against the other, and the Sea with both, till that the whole Nation be at last extinguished that one may not be left to piss against a wall; Let not a Church or Chapel, Hospital or College stand in the whole Isle. I intent to have a new Almanac of Saints at my coming, for I have some Stargazers there fit for my purpose; Make haste therefore, and acquit your selves of your duty for fear a peace be shuffled up, and that Artonia and Tumontia appear in the business, and espouse the quarrel of young Caroloman; And if you carry your selves well in this employment, I may chance give you Carboncia for your reward.  
The three Lethean Futies with a most profound reverence replied, May it please your Majesty, your Ferryman Charon is continually so pestered with such multitudes of Gherionian and Carboncian passengers, that we were forced to stay a long time ere we could be transported hither, and we fear we shall be so hindered again. Therefore we most humbly desire for our better expedition, that you would vouchsafe to give us a special Mandamus that we may be served first, with a non obstante, when we come to the banks of Styx.  
You shall dear daughters, said Pluto, and my Warrant shall be addressed to some Gherionian Tarpalins, whereof there are abundance these few years past, whom Charon hath entertained for his journeymen.  
Having listened all this while unto what passed 'twixt Pluto and his Furies, my guiding spirit did lead me up and down Hell to see the various sorts of torments that are there, which indeed are innumerable both old and new; The first I beheld was Ixion who was tied with ugly Vipers to a wheel that whirled about perpetually, and I might perceive a multitude of lesser wheels newly made thereabouts, whereunto great numbers of Gherionians, and divers of my acquaintants were bound in like manner; I might discern also hard by a huge company of new Windmills, and bodies tied with black-spotted Snakes at every wing turning round perpetually; A little further there were a great many broken by Millstones who were whirled with them about incessantly; In another place I might see black Whirlpools full of tormented souls turning still round, I asked what was the reason of so many whirling tortures? My good Spirit answered, All these, except Ixion's wheel, are new torments appointed for Gherionian Sectaries, who had destroyed from top to bottom all Government both of Church and State, And as their brains turned round upon earth after every wind of Doctrine, so their souls turn here in perpetual torments of rotation.  
A little further I spied Prometheus removed thither from Caucasus, with a ravenous Vulture tearing and feeding upon his liver, which as one part was eaten, renewed presently after, and abundance of new comers were tormented in the same manner, these I was told they were Gherionians also that were punished like Prometheus, because as he was tortured so for stealing fire from Heaven, by which was meant for prying too far into the secrets of the gods, so those fiery Zelots of Gheriona were tortured, for offering to dive too far into the high points of Predestination, Election, and Reprobation, being not contented sapere ad sobrietatem, but were gaping ever and anon after new lights, and flashes of illuminations to pry into the Book of Life.  
Then I came to the bottomless Tub which Danaus daughters were a filling, a nomberles company of other such tubs were there, and Gherionian women and men were incessantly labouring to fill them up with the stenchy black waters of Acheron; I was told that they were those overcurious people in Gheriona which would be never satisfied with spiritual knowledge, having no other devotion than to be always learning, and never coming to the truth, as these poor restless fillers could never come to any bottom.  
Then I beheld the most horrid tortures of those Giants who would have pulled jupiter out of his Throne, and a world of Gherionians among them, who partaked of the same tortures, because they had conspired on earth to destroy their lawful King.  
Not far further I might spy dazzling my eyes fiery glowing tubs made Pulpit-like, and I was told they were prepared for those profane presumptuous Mechanics, and other lay-men who use to preach, and so abuse the sacred Oracles of God; And Uzza was not far off, who lay in torments there for being too bold with the Holy Ark.  
Not far distant I saw hoops of iron that were made Garter-like of hot candent steel, I was told that they were designed for the perjured Knights of that Order in Gheriona to wear upon their legs when they come thither, for breaking in the late war the solemn Oath they had taken at their Instalment, to defend the Honour and Quarrels, the Rights and Dignities of their Sovereign, etc.  
Near unto them I might see brass hoops glowing with fire, and they were Scarfs-like, I was told they were ordained for those Knights of the Bath to wear for Ribbons next their skins when they came thither, for infringing that sacred Sacramental Oath they took at their election, which was, To love their Sovereign above all earthly creature, and for his Right and Dignity to live and die.  
A little beyond I saw a Copper-table with chairs of the same, all candent hot, I was told that those were for perjured Privy-Councellors who had broke their Oath to their King, which obliged them to be true and faithful servants unto him, and if they knew or understood any manner of thing to be attempted, done, or spoken against his majesty's Person, Honour, Crown, or Dignity, they swore to let and withstand the same to the uttermost of their power, and cause it to be revealed either to Himself, or any other of his Privy Council.  
Hard by I saw a little Furnace so glowing hot, that it looked of the colour of a Ruby or Carbuncle, I was told that it was to clap in the Master of a King's Jewell-house when he comes thither, for being so perfidious and perjurious to his Master.  
Not far off I might see a huge brass Caudron full of molten lead, with some Brewers cruelly tormented therein, for setting their own Country on fire.  
I was curious to know, whether there were any other infernal tortures besides those of fire; Yes, I was answered, for to speak of fire to a people habituated to a cold Climate were not only to make them slight Hell, but to have a mind to go thither; So my Spirit brought me a little Northward, and showed me a huge Lough, where there were frosted Mountains up and down, and I might discover amongst them a world of Blew-caps lying in beds of ice, with their noses and toes nipped, the icicles stuck to their finger's ends like horns, and a bleak hispid wind blew incessantly upon them, they made the most piteous noise that me-thought I had heard in all Hell, for they wawled, screeched, and howled out ever and anon this dismal note, Uvea is me, wea is me that ever I betrayed my gid King.  
Among all those damned souls I desired to see what punishment an Atheist had, my Spirit was ready to answer me, that there were no Atheists in Hell at all; 'tis true they were so upon Earth before they came hither, but here they sensibly find and acknowledge there is a God by his justice and judgements, for there is here poena sensûs and poena damni, there is inward and outward torture, The outward torments you behold are nothing so grievous as the inward regrets and agonies the souls have, to have lost Heaven whereof they were once capable, and to be eternally forsaken by their Creator the Lord of Light, their chiefest Good; Add hereunto that they know these torments to be endless, easeless, and remediless; Besides these qualities which are incident to the damned souls, they have neither patience towards themselves in their own sufferances, nor any pity towards others, but their natures is so accursed that they wish their neighbour's torments were still greater than their own; Moreover their torments never lessen, or have any mitigation by tract of time, or degrees of sense, but they persevere always in the same height, they are still fresh, and the soul made stronger to bear them; I saw that everlasting Villain who committed one of the first sacrileges we read of, by burning the Temple of Diana, whose torments were so fresh and cruciatory upon him, as they were the first day he was hurled in thither; judas was in the same degree and strength of torture as he was the first moment he fell thither; jack Cade, Wat Tyler, jack Straw, and Ket the Tanner did fry as fresh as they did that very instant they were tumbled down thither; Amongst whom it made my heart to melt within me when I saw some of their new-comed Countrymen amongst them, whereof I knew divers; And though society is wont to be some solace to men in misery, yet they conceived no comfort at all by these fresh companions.  
It is high time for us now, said my good guiding Spirit, to be gone to the other world, so we directed our course towards the Ferry upon Styx; But Lord what a number of lurid and ugly squalid countenances did I behold as I passed; There was one sort of torment I had not seen before, there were divers that hung by their tongues upon posts up and down, I asked what they were, answer was made, that they were prick-eared Preachmen, judges, and Lawyers, who against their knowledge as well as against their consciences, did seduce the ignorant people of Gheriona and Carboncia, and incite them to war; And there was a new tenter-hook provided for one gran Villain, who pronounced Sentence of death against his own Sovereign Prince, whose Subject he was, and whom by a sacred Oath of Allegiance he was tied to obey.  
A little further I might see multitudes of Committee-men and others, slopping up drops of molten lead in lieu of French Barleybroth, with a rabble of Apprentices sweeping the gutters of Hell, with brooms tufted with ugly Adders and Snakes, because they running into the Wars and leaving their wares, had thereby broke their Indentures with their Masters, and their Oaths of Allegiance to their lawful Prince.  
Passing then along towards the Ferry, a world of hideous shapes presented themselves unto my sight; There I saw corroding cares, panic fears, pining griefs, ugly rebellion, revengeful malice, snaky discord, oppression, tyranny, disobedience, perjury, sacrilege, and spiritual pride (the sin that first peepled Hell) put to exquisite torments; Couches of Toads, Scorpions, Asps, and Serpents were in a corner hard by; I asked for whom they were prepared, I was answered, for some Evangelizing Gherionian Ladies, which did egg on their husbands to War; So having as I thought by a miraculous providence charmed three-headed Cerberus, by pointing at him with the sign of the Cross upon my fingers, we passed quietly by to the Ferry, where being come I found true what Pluto had said before, that there were divers Gherionian Tarpalins entertained by Charon, but they were in most cruel tortures, for their bodies were covered all over very thick and close with canvases pitched and tarred, which continually burnt and flamed round about them.  
Herewith I got awake again about the dawning of the day, and it was high time to do so; 

For lo, the golden Oriental gate  
Of gray-faced Heaven began to open fair,  
And Phoebus like a Bridegroom to his Mate  
Came dancing forth, shaking his dewy hair,  
And hurls his glittering beams through gloomy air.   

So Rest to Motion, Night to Day doth yield,  
Silence to Noise, the Stars do quit the field,  
My Cinq-ports all fly open, the fantasy  
Gives way to outward objects, Ear and eye  
Resume their office, so doth hand and lip;  
I hear the Carrmans' wheel, the Coachman's whip,  
The apprentice (with my sense) his shop unlocks,  
The milkmaid seeks her pail, porters their frocks,  
All cries and sounds return, except one thing,  
I heard no bell for Matins toll or ring.   

Being thus awaked, and staring on the Light  
Which silvered all my face and glaring sight,  
I closed my eyes again to recollect  
What I had dreamt, & make my thoughts reflect  
Upon themselves—    
I say, that having after such a long noctivagation, and variety of horrid visions, returned to my perfect expergefaction, I began by a serious recollection of myself to recall to my thoughts by way of reminiscence those dismal and dreadful objects that had appeerd unto me, for though I was in Hell, yet I did not taste of Lethe all the while, insomuch that I did not forget any thing which I had seen; All the said objects presented themselves unto me so real, that if I had been transported with that opinion whereof many great Clerks have been, viz. That Devils are nothing else but the ill affections, the exorbitant passions and perturbances of the mind; I say, if I had been placed in such an opinion, this trance would have convinced me; You may easily imagine what apprehensions of horror these Apparitions left in my brain behind them, just as a River when by an inundation she hath swelled out of her wont channel, doth use to leave along the neighbouring meadows seggs and other weeds with much riffraff stuff behind her upon her return to her former bed; so did this Vision after that deluge of objects wherewith my brain was overwhelmed for the time, leave behind them black suds, and many a ghastly thought within me, which after some ruminations wrought in me a perfect change and detestation of those mimical giddy opinions wherewith I was carried away before, but while I delayed the time of declaring myself that way, I was suddenly surprised, and justly transmuted to this shape and species.  Pererius. 
You may perceive by the effects of this visional Dream the excellency and high prerogatives of the Human Soul, who by the ministry of the Imagination can make such sallies abroad, that leaving the gross tabernacle of the body she can at pleasure climb up to the skies, and make a Scale of the stars to conduct her to the Empyrean Heaven; she can also descend in a trice to the great Abyss, and take a survey of the kingdom of darkness, And though it be a common Maxim that, ab Orco nulla redemptio, there is no returning from Hell the passage thence being irremeable, yet the Rational soul while she informs the body hath this privilege, that she can make egresses and regresses, she can enter and come off clear from Hell itself, when she list, and all this in an instant; Wherein she may be said to participate of that admired quality which is inhaerent in that most comfortable of all cretures the Light, which is held the Souverain of all sensible qualities by the Philosophers, and to come nearest to the nature of a Spirit, for Light requires but an instantaneous moment or point of time to perform its office of illumination, and to dilate itself from one Pole to the other throughout the whole Hemisphere, whence some infer that Light is incorporeal, because 'tis an unquestioned principle among the Naturalists, that all bodies require a succession of time in their motion, which Light needs not; But there is this difference 'twixt the Imagination of a human soul and Light, that their besom places wherinto Light cannot enter, but there is no part of the Universe so impervious where the Imagination may not make his accesses and recesses at pleasure, as appeers by yours while you made that progress during the time of that ecstasy; And now methinks that these, and other excellencies of the Rational soul should incite you to shake off that brutish nature, which hath no other idea or object of happiness, but what sense exposeth for the present time to corporeal things only; I say the contemplation of what I said before should move you to become Man again.  Ape. 
Man! Truly Sir, I am sorry the shape I now bear resembleth Man so much, I could wish it were far more unlike, for the horrid and unheard-of sacrileges and perjuries of my own Nation makes me abhor the very name of Man, much more his nature; For I dare confidently assert, that there were never since the Devil had power to possess poor Mortals such Heteroclites in Religion, such a Bedlam of Sectaries, who to exalt the Kingdom of Christ would heave it up on Beelzebub's back, for 'tis the devil's Reformation to turn order to confusion, and certainties to incertitudes as they have done; But these Refiners of Government will prove Quacksalvers at last, for in lieu of raising up a Commonwealth, they have pulled down the two main Pillars which use to support all States, viz. Religion and justice, making both Arbitrary, and tumbling all things into a horrid disorder and hurly-burly, insomuch that it may be truly said, these new sorts of Recusants did more hurt than ever the old could have done, if the subterranean plot of Nitre had taken effect; For that had only destroyed some few of the Royal Race, of the Prelates and Peers then in being, but these hellhounds have wholly extinguished and blown up all the three to perpetuity, and all this only by the stench of their pestiferous breath; Nor have they offered violence to Religion only, but they have affronted Reason itself, nay they have baffled Common sense; And for all this we may thank Carboncia, and Polihaima that rotten-hearted City, who like a fat cheese is so full of Maggots; And indeed what could be expected else from these pseudopolitians but disorder, confusion, and ataxy, considering how their first reach of policy was to throw the ball of discord 'twixt the Subject and his Sovurain, whom yet they had vowed to make the best belovedst Prince that ever was; Insomuch that darkness itself is no more opposite to light, as their actions were diametrical to their words, oaths, and protestations.  Pererius. 
Truly they are stupendous things that you have told me, but touching the difference you speak of that they did put 'twixt Prince and Peeple, it was the most compendious way to bring all things to confusion and ruin, to which purpose I shall relate unto you an Apolog; There happened a shrewd commotion and distemper in the Body Natural 'twixt the Head and the Members, not only the noble parts (many of them) but the common inferior organs banded against Him in a high way of presumption; The heart which is the source of life with the pericardium about it did swell against him, the spleen and gall flowed over, the liver gathered ill blood, all the humours turned to choler against him; the arms lifted up themselves against him, neither back, hams, or knees would bow to him, nay the very feet offered to kick him; The ribs and reins, the hypocondrium, the diaphragma, the miseraik and emulgent veins were filled with corrupt blood against him, nay the hypogastrium and the bowels made an intestine war against him; While this feud lasted, it happened that these tumultuary members fell out among themselves, the hand would have all the fingers equal, nay the toes would be all of an even length, and the rest of the subservient members would be Independent; They grew so foolish that they would have the fundament to be where the mouth is, the breast where the back, the belly where the brain, and the yard where the nose is; The shoulders should be said to be no more backwards, nor the legs downwards; a bloody quarrel fell out 'twixt the heart and the liver which of them received the first formation, and whether of the two be the chiefest shop of languification, which question bred so much gall 'twixt the Aristotelians and the Galenists; While this spleen and strange tympany of pride lasted, it caused such an ebullition and heat in the mass of blood, such a stiffness in the cartilages and gristles, such a lanknes in the arteries, that it put the whole compositum in a high burning Fever or kind of ravening Frenzy, which in time grew Hepticall, and so threatened a dissolution of the whole frame of the body.  
'Tis to be feared that the same fate attends the Political body of your Nation as did the Natural I spoke of; But matters may mend, and as you began to find a Reformation in yourself before you were transmuted to this shape, so the whole Nation may come to their old temper again; Therefore you shall do well, now that you are invited by so pregnant an opportunity, and so real a proffer, to shake off that Apish or Monky-faced figure you now wear, and resume the noble erect shape of Man, to look towards Heaven, and be safely transported to the bosom of your own dear Country, where you may by your advantageous holy profession, do a great deal of good offices to your deluded Compatriots, by the contribution of your endeavours and talon, to reduce them to their right wits again, and so to the temper of their famous progenitors.  Ape. 
Sir, you may as soon Quadrat a Circle, which the Philosopher holds to be impossible, as convert a Roundhead, for I have felt his pulse so well, that when a crochet hath got once into his noddle, 'tis like Quicksilver in a hot loaf, which makes it skip up and down to the astonishment of the ignorant beholder; So when a caprichio, or some fanatical idea hath once entered into the pericranium of this pack of people, it causeth such a Vertigo, that all the Drugs of Egypt cannot cure them: Therefore, noble Prince, you may please to practise your eloquence upon some other, but as for me you spend your breath in vain, and all this while you have said as good as nothing, for I so far detest human kind, that, in the mind I am in, I had rather undergo an Annihilation, or to be reduced to a nonentity, which is so horrid a thing to all created natures, that the very devils themselves abhor it, then be as I was: Therefore I am resolved never to turn Man again, much less a Cherionian, for, in statu quo nunc, I hold him to be not only the profanest sect of Christians, but the worst race of Mankind; The wildest Moor, Arab, or Tartar is a Saint in comparison of him.  
But I espy an ill-favoured snail creeping hard by, with her house upon her back, and stretching forth her ugly horns, which base creature those of my present species do naturally loath, there being a perfect antipathy betwixt us, as well as with all Shellfish.   

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉  
The Fourth Section.  
A Colloquy 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Hind, who had been once one of the gretest Beauties in Marcopolis, and for some youthful levitieses and wildness was transmuted to that shape; In this Section there are various discourses of the state and nature of Women pro & con, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Hind. Morphandra. 
IT seems, most princely Pererius, by that cloud I perceive waving in your countenance, that you cannot prevail with any of those transformed cretures with whom you have hitherto conferred, to comply with your so laudable desires of wearing again the shapes of Men; Therefore I would wish you to try a conclusion upon a Female, which sex useth to be more soft and pliable, and there is one just before you, That lovely white Hind (though she hath some black spots about her shingle) which I see browsing upon that hedge, she was once a Woman, therefore try what you can do upon her.  Pererius. 
Madame, By treating with this last Animal, I find the old Adage confirmed, that Simia erit Simia, quamvis induatur veste aurea, An Ape will be an Ape though he be clad with Tissue, he will never shake off his brutish nature; But, most sagacious Queen, though Truth, as the proverb runs, begets hatred oftentimes in the minds of those to whom it is spoken, yet, knowing well that noble spirits do disdain to have one thing in the mouth, and another in the heart, I will take the boldness to make a free discovery of my mind, though I fear to incur thereby your disfavor.  Morphandra. 
Sir, you may frankly speak what you please, for there is no greater a friend to generous souls than Truth.  Pererius. 
I doubt, though you have vouchsafed the gift of Ratiotination to those Animals I have tampered withal, yet you have not been pleased to give them the full faculty of Reason, in regard I have found them so averse to reassume their first being from that of Beasts, which could not surely be if they had the full power of their former Intellect.  Morphandra. 
Truly if I had done so, you might have justly thought yourself to have been deluded by me, and that I had done you but half a courtesy or a feigned promise; Now touching promises a noble mind should not make any, that he hath not the will to do, or the power to perform, for the one proceeds from pure dissimulation, and the other from mere foolishness: But know, that all that interval of time you have held a parley with those transmuted Animals you have tried already, they had the same reach and full light of Reason as they had when they were Men.  Pererius. 
Oh, how is it possible then that the eyes of their understanding should not be opened, to discern their own error?  Morphandra. 
It may well be that they find and feel more contentment, and sweetness in that life they now lead, whereof men have no sense or knowledge, therefore 'tis no thing of wonder that they desire to continue so; But go and poursue the point of your enterprise, for it may be you may find some other that will be conformable to your counsel herein, and 'tis very probable that Hind may do it.  Pererius. 
'Tis observed by wise men, that they who can prescribe a way of themselves to live contentedly and well, are to be placed in the first degree of virtue; And they which cannot do it of themselves, but are content to be directed by the counsel of wiser men, are to be placed in the second degree; But they who are not capable to counsel themselves, nor receive counsel from others, are not worthy to be ranked in the number of Rational cretures; Of this last kind those silly Animals are with whom I have held discourse, therefore 'tis no marvel that my persuasions could not take place with them; But knowing it to be the greatest part of humanity for one to commiserat and help another, I will push on my endeavours in this point, and see what I can do with that lovely white Hind, for that sex whereof she was formerly useth to be more tender, and to take impressions more easily: Gentle creature, I come to be the messenger of good tidings unto you.  Hind. 
O! may Heaven be blessed, I understand the accents of Man, and have the strings of my tongue loosened to talk again.  Pererius. 
I hope now to have met with one fit for my purpose, for I hear her thank Heaven that she is come again to the gift of speech: Give me leave to ask you, gentle Hind, how came you to be thus so strangely transfigured?  Hind. 
It was the great Queen Morphandra who hath put this shape upon me; But, Sir, give me leave to return you a question, Wherefore are you so desirous to know the cause of my transmutation? for I was never asked the reason ever since by any, nor had I my speech returned unto me till now, ever since I went upon four legs.  Pererius. 
The reason that I desire to know the cause of your transfiguration is for your infinite advantage, as you shall find, therefore I pray dispense with my curiosity, if I desire to know further what country and condition you were of when you were a Rational creature.  Hind. 
Sir, I was born in Marcopolis that rare Maiden City, so much renowned throughout the world for the strangeness of her situation, for her policy, riches, and power; But though she continu still a Virgin, yet she is married once every year to Neptune whose minion she is, which makes her accounted so salacious; There I had my first birth, and was accounted one of the Beauties of my time, till for some dissolute courses and wildness of youth, it pleased Morphandra to give me a second kind of generation, and transmute me to this shape you behold.  Pererius. 
You may then thank those Stars that guided me hither, for I have obtained leave of Morphandra to talk with you, nor only so, but she hath been pleased to promise me that she will reinvest you in you former fair nature if you desire it, therefore I quickly expect your resolution, for the sudden counsels and answers of women are observed to be the best, in regard that the more you think on a thing, the more your thoughts use to be entangled; Therefore tell me whether you will be a woman again, I or no?  Hind. 
No; there's a short and sudden laconical answer for you.  Pererius. 
'Tis short I confess, but I conceive it to be as rash and inconsiderate, I hope you will think better on it, for what an infinite advantage it is to be transversed from a beast to be a noble Rational creature.  Hind. 
To be a Rational creature is not the thing that I am so averse unto as much as to be a Woman, which sex is so much undervalved and vilified by you, that some of your Philosophers (or Foolosophers more properly) have had the faces to affirm that we were not of the same species with men, and if we were, yet it was by an inferior kind of creation, being made only for multiplication and pleasure; Others have given out, that in point of generation woman by Nature's design is still meant for man, and that a female is a thing brought into the world beyond Nature's intention, either by the imperfection of seed, or some other defect; Which absurd opinion how contrary it is to the just order of nature, is manifest to any one that hath but a crumb of wit, considering how we also concur to your generation, though some of your old doting Wizards have held the contrary, holding us to be merely passive in that point.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, that Aristotle who was one of the Secretaries that attended Nature's cabinet-councel doth affirm, that in the female there is no active principle of generation, but that she is merely passive, affording only blood and the place of conception, the plastic formative virtue residing in the Male's seed; But this opinion is exploded by our modern Physicians and Naturalists, who assert that in the female also there is an active and plastic principle of generation, with a procreative faculty, as appeers in the engendering of a Mule which is a mixed species proceeding from the Horse and the Ass, whose whole form is made up by the concurrence of both parents, so that the Horse alone is not sufficient to produce such a creature, but the Ass must cooperat as the efficient cause.  Hind. 
You may well add hereunto that the child oftentimes resembleth the mother, therefore she must also be an active principle in the formation; If it be so, what a wrong is it to the justice and rules of nature that Women should be held but little better than Slaves? how comes it that they should be so vilipended and reviled? As that foolish Naturalist or Ninny, who wished there were another way to propagat Mankind than by copulation with Women; Another blurted out, that if men could live without the society of women, Angels would come down and dwell among them; But that stinking Cynic was the worst of all, who passing by a tree where a woman having been abused and beaten by her husband, had done herself violently away, he wished that every tree might bear such blessed fruit.  Pererius. 
Such speeches as these proceeded from a kind of raillery or way of jesting, not from the judgement or wishes of the parties that spoke them, and it is commonly seen that they who play upon them with their wits, have them most in their wishes; For there is no sober-minded man but doth acknowledge them to be born for our comfort and dearest companions, and to be of equal degree with us in point of creation and excellence, as also capable of the same Beatitude.  Hind. 
There is good reason to think so, for the Creator took the first woman out of the midst of man thereby to be his equal, and without any ostentation be it spoken she was made of a more refined matter, viz. of the Rib, which is a purer substance than the red slimy earth whereof Adam was framed; And daily experience tells us, that We are composed of purer plastical ingredients than You, because that if a man, be he never of so fine a paste, wash his hands with the clearest water in several clean basons never so often, yet he will leave some foulness and faeculence behind; but a Woman can do so and leave the water at last so clear, so fair and limpid, as when it came from the fountain or source itself in few times washing.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, she was made of a Rib, but 'twas a crooked one, which makes many of your sex to be so crosse-graind; This causeth many of them to be kept under a greater servitude than otherwise they would be.  Hind. 
A servitude indeed, or rather a tyranny, and we must purchase this servitude with the weight of gold, you having made that fine Law, that when any woman is to be your companion, she must bring money with her, which you call Dower or Matrimonial portion forsooth.  Pererius. 
This Law is enacted for your good, for knowing that you, in regard of your in-experience and weakness, cannot tell how to conserve your estates, the said Dower is consigned to your husbands to improve it for your further profit, and to maintain you; Insomuch that your husbands cannot be called Patrons of your goods, but your Procurators in conserving them, and if you chance to survive them they all return to you, and most commonly with some advantage; In the interim we trudge and toil without, and you within doors, only to conserve it, which is but an easy task.  Hind. 
You say very well in that, for unless there be a good housewife at home to keep, in vain doth the husband labour abroad to gather; But whereas you say that we have not that prudence to manage an estate, and govern it, I pray call to mind the Kingdom of the Amazons, how long and how wisely was it governed by women? Look upon that of Babylonia which was so much amplified by Semiramis, and that of Scythia by Tomiris, especially upon a late notable Queen in Gheriona, who ruled triumphantly near upon 45 years; And whereas you speak of the want of wisdom that we have, I pray what were the nine Muses the Inventrices of all Sciences? what were the three Graces? what were the twelve Sibyls? what are the three spiritual Virtues? nay what was Minerva the goddess of Wisdom, born out of the brain of jove himself? were they not all women?  Pererius. 
'Tis true that Minerva issued out of Jupiter's brain, but she had no woman to her mother, for so she had not proved so wise; And touching the Muses, Graces, and Sibyls you speak of, you know as well that the three fatal Sisters, and Erynnis the mother of Discord, were all women as well, together with the three Furies of Hell; But if you look upon Heaven, you are but few there, for among the Planets there are but two of your sex, (viz. Venus and Cynthia) all the rest are male.  Hind. 
You may as well argue, that because among the twelve Celestial Signs there are but three human cretures, and seven brute Animals, (with two inanimat) that there are more brute Animals in Heaven than Men; But, Sir, under favour, whereas you allege that among the Heavenly Planets there are but two females, the rest males, it shows that men are of a more erratic and wand'ring humour than women; Now Sir, touching that wisdom you speak of, you have more opportunity to get it by conversing with the world abroad, and so pourchasing Experience which is the mirroir of wisdom; Whereas we are kept within doors, and shut up 'twixt a few walls, whence you have a saying, That that woman deserves only respect and honour, whose actions and praises go not out of the walls of her own house: And hereunto that you put us to all the drudgery and servile offices at home, while you are jovial and feast it abroad; nor do you only coop us up so in a kind of prison, but you clap oftentimes a barbarous kind of lock upon us, whereas you, though you have Enclosures of your own, yet you may go abroad when you list, and, when your lust drives you, feed upon the Common without control; And is not this pure slavery in us, and tyranny in you?  Pererius. 
Concerning the first, Apelles used to paint a good Housewife upon a snail, which intimated, that she should be as slow from gadding abroad, and when she went she should carry her house upon her back, that is, she should make all sure at home; Now to a good housewife, her House should be as the Sphere to a Star, (I do not mean a wand'ring Star) wherein she should twincle with neatness as a Star in its Orb; And how can you call that a prison whereof you keep the keys, and are commandresses in chief? The Imperium domesticum you rule within doors, whither we bring all that we gain abroad, and it is your office to improve and augment it, though many of you are so lavish that you make the poor husband oftentimes to turn a noble to ninepences, as is intimated by that famous picture of Polygnottus made of one Ocnus, who being a Cordwayner by his Trade, as he was making new Ropes, there was a Wisell hard by that gnawed off the Cordage, by which was meant his Wife; For it is in the wife to husband what the man gets, according to the Poverb, Ask my wife whether I thrive or no, for if she be prodigal she will bring her poor husband quickly to thwitten a mill-post into a pudding-prick.  
Touching the second point, of laying artificial restraints upon your bodies, it is because some of you can be no further trusted than you are seen; But this ill-favoured custom I confess is used only in that Country, where women are more hot and lustful than under other climes, for the Naturalists observe without any partiality, that your sex is more salacious than the Masculine, whereof there might be produced a cloud of examples, I will instance only in two, and they of the highest rank, viz. in two Empresses, the one a Roman, the other a German; the first was so cunning in her lust, that she would take in no passenger into her Barge (for women are leaking vesells) until the Barge was freighted, for fear the resemblance of the child should discover the true father, and then she would take in all comers; The second having buried a most gallant man she had to her husband, her Confessor advised her with ghostly counsel, that for the future she should live like a Turtle during the remnant of her life, because it was impossible to find such another Mate again among the whole mass of Mankind; Whereto she answered, Father, since you will have me to lead the life of a Bird, why not of a Sparrow as well as of another Bird?  Hind. 
I shall confront your instances by two other examples, as memorable altogether, the first of Zenebia, who would have no carnal copulation with her husband, after she found herself once quick, but would continue in an admired course of continence all the time of her pregnancy; Moreover the Saintlike Empress Beatrice, who in the verdant spring of her age after Henry her husband's death, lived ever after like a Turtle as you speak of, by immuring herself in a Monastic Cell, and burying her body alive as it were when he was gone; But what an extraordinary rare example was that of Queen Artemisia, who living chaste ever after her husband Mausolus his death, got his ashes all put in urns, whereof she would take down a dramm every morning fasting, and next her heart, saying, That her body was the fittest place to be a Sepulchre to her most dear husband, notwithstanding that she had erected another outward Tomb for him, that continues to this day one of the Wonders of the world: Furthermore you know, I believe, better than I, Sir, that at this day in many parts of the Oriental world, such is the rare love of wives to their dead husbands, that they throw themselves alive into the Funeral Pile to accompany his body to the other life, though in the flower of their years.  Pererius. 
It is confessed that many of you have noble spirits, that marvellous rare affections lodge in you, and so you may be deservedly called the second part of Mankind, in regard you are so necessary for the propagation thereof, and to people the world.  Hind. 
Yet you call us the weaker vessels, but as weak as we are, we are they in whom the whole mass of both sexes is moulded; nevertheless some use us as Spice-bags, which when the spices are taken out are thrown away into some mouldy corner; And though we have the mould within us wherein you are all cast, though we cooperat, and contribut our purest blood towards your generation, though we bring you forth into the world with such dolorous pangs and throws, though you are nourished afterwards and nursed with our very bloods, yet our os-spring must bear only your surnames, as if we had no share at all in him, his memory living only in you, though Tumontia in this point be more noble than other Countries, by giving the surname of the Maternal line oftentimes to some of the male children.  
Notwithstanding all these indispensible necessities the world hath of women, yet there is no other species of cretures wherein the female is held to be so much inferior to the male as we are amongst you, who use to sleight, misprise, and tyrannize over us so much; For there is one huge race of men, I mean the Volganian, who use to beat their wifes once a week as duly as they go to bed to them.  Pererius. 
The reason of this is, because there are so many of you either shrews, or light and loose in the hilts, and 'tis a sad case when Viri fama jacet inter uxoris fempora; Touching the first, there's an old proverb, that Every one knows how to tame a shrew but he who hath her, and though there might be multitude of examples produced, yet I will instance but in a few, the first two shall be Zappora and Xantippe, the one married to Moses a holy man, the other to Socrates a great Philosopher, how cross-grained the one was, the Sacred Oracles will tell, and for the other, her husband coming one day in when she was in an ill humour, she scolded him out of doors, and at his going out she whipped up into an upper room, and poured down a potfull of piss upon his sconce, which made the poor patient husband shake his head, and break forth into this speech, I thought that after so much thunder we should have rain. Another damnable scold having reviled and cursed her husband a great while, all which time she had the Devil often in her mouth, to whom she banned him, at last he said, Hold thy tongue wife, and threaten me no more with the Devil, for I know he will do me no hurt, because I have married his Kinswoman; This made the Epigrammatist to sing prettily, 
Conjugis ingentes animos linguamque domare,  
Herculis est decimus-tertius iste labour.   
Hence grew that cautious proverb, Honest men do marry, but Wise men not.  Hind. 
ay, we use to be the common subject of your drolleries, and you would want matter for your wits to work upon were it not for us; But, touching those humours you pointed at before which are incident to us sometimes, they proceed from the ill usage, and weakness of the husbands, who know not how to manage a wife, which is one of the prime points of Masculine prudence; We say proverbially, that a good jack makes a good Gill, a discreet husband makes a good wife, though being the weaker vessel, and having no other weapon than her tongue she break out sometimes into humours; What a sad thing is it for a woman to have a thing called a husband weaker than herself? how fullsom would such a fool be? such silly coxcombs as are jealous upon every sleight occasion, and restrain them so barbarously as was spoken before, deserve to wear such branched horns, such spilters and troching on their heads, as that goodly Stagg bears which you see browsing among those trees, accompanied with those pretty Fawns, Prickets, Sorrells, Hemuses, and Girls, whereof some are mine which I brought into the world without any pain or help of Midwife, and quickly lost all care of them afterwards.  Pererius. 
Well, let's give over these impertinent altercations pro & con, and go to the main business; I told you that Queen Morphandra is willing, at my intercession, to restore you unto your former nature, and I have a lusty Galeon in port to convey you to Marcopolis, that renowned and rare City.  Hind. 
'Tis true Marcopolis is a most famous City, having continued a pure Virgin from her infancy these twelve centuries of years and upwards, and 'tis said she shall continue so still, according to the Prophecy, Until her husband forsake her, viz. the Sea, with whom her marriage is renewed every year; But 'twas observed when I lived there, that her Husband began to forsake her, that the Adrian Sea did retire and grow shallower about her, which some interpret to be an ill Omen, and portends the loss of her Maidenhead: But, Sir, touching my former nature, truly I would desire nothing of it again but the faculty of speech that I might talk sometimes; In all other things I prefer by many degrees this species wherein I am now invested by Queen Morphandra, which is far more chaste and temperate, far more healthful and longer-lived: Touching the first, there's no creature whose season of carnal copulation is shorter, for the Rutting-time lasts but from the midst of September to the end of October, nor is there any other creature whose enjoyment of pleasure is shorter in the act; moreover when we are full, we never after keep company with the male for eight months; Concerning the second, viz. our temperateness, we never use to overcharge or cloy nature with excess, besides our food is simple, those green leaves and grass you see are our nutriment, which our common mother the Earth affords us so gently, we require no variety of Viands, which makes that our breath is sweeter than the fairest Ladies in Marcopolis, and our fewmishes with what else comes from within us is nothing so unsavoury; Nor need we that monthly purgation which is so improperly called Flowers, it being such rank poison that it will crack a true crystal glass; Nay 'tis observed, that if a menstruous woman come near an alveary or hive of Bees, they forsake their food all the while, finding the air to be infected; Nor have we any gall within us, and herein we are like the Dove among Birds, and the Dolphin among fish; only there's a kind of acid humour that nature hath put in our Singles, the smell whereof causeth our enemies, viz. the Dogs, to fly from us; Moreover, we are not subject to abortions, and that curse which the Creator inflicted upon Womankind, that they should bring forth their children with sorrow and pain, which we are free from; And such is our love to Mankind, that when we have brought forth our young ones, we trust them rather with them than with other beasts, by putting them near highways, or dwelling-houses for protection; Touching the third, which is healthfulness, it is far beyond that of women, as appears by our longaevity and extension of life, which is next to that of an Elephant, (whose youth begins not till he be threescore year old) according to the Tumontian Proverb, A Hedge lasteth three years, a Dog three hedges, a Horse three dogs, a Man three horses, a Hart three men, an Elephant three hearts; Histories are full of admirable examples how long some of of us have lived, let one serve for all, When Archesilaus' dwelled in Licosura, as the Arcadian Annals relate, he took a Hind who wore a collar, whereon was engraven, I was a Fawn when Agapenor was taken in Troy, which by the computation that then was made, was above three hundred years; Nor had Aesculapius, that Archiatros or god of Physic, arrived to so fair an age, and to such a miraculous perfection in that Art, had he not been nursed with Hinde's milk; For length of time brings experience, and wisdom with it along, and sometimes the gift of Prophecy, as was that ancient Hind of that great Captain Sertorius, whom 'twas thought Diana had inspired with a fatidicall spirit; Insomuch that Sertorius never gave Battle, or attempted any great design without advising first with that Hart: Add hereunto, that when after so fair an age we come to die, there's nothing within and without our dead bodies but is useful for Mankind, how much are our very skins valued? how medicinal is that kind of bone which is found in the left ventricle of a Heart's heart against the Hemerroids? how excellent is our marrow against the Gout and Consumptions? how our blood fried with oil, and applied to the inferior parts, presently ste●●●eth the looseness of the belly, and being drunk in wine is a rare antidote against poison? what exquisite virtues hath the Heart's horn, with other parts of the body, as the Naturalists observe? Whereas there is nothing in the most noisome carcases of Women that's good for any thing, except their hair, which is either but an excrescence, or excrement rather, useful only to make fantastic foolish Periwigs, and it hath been found, that this hair being buried in some kind of dung turns to Snakes; Therefore, under favour, there's none of sane judgement, considering the advantages I have by this present shape, will advise me to change it for that of a frail Woman; If I should do so, I would be more foolish than that Stagg in the Fable, who seeing a Horse with rich trappings, and carrying a velvet saddle upon his back, repined at his happiness, and wished he were such a creature; The Forester taking notice of it, put the velvet-saddle upon the Stagg's back the next day, and having mounted him, he rid him divers heats up and down the Lands, till the poor Stagg began to faint, and sink under his burden, and then he repented himself of that foolish and inconsiderate wish he had made.   

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The Fifth Section.  
Discourses 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Mule, who in his Manhood had been a Doctor of Physic in Tumontia, whom for some Quacking tricks he had played, and for some other reasons, Morphandra turned to a Mule; In this Section there be discourses of the Art of Physic, of the various complexions of Mankind, and of the nomberlesse diseases that are incident unto Human Bodies, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Mule. Morphandra. 
I Took notice that you courted and complemented that female creature more than ordinary, but how have you prevailed? have you made her inclinable to a resumption of her former nature? Is she willing to go back to that Syrenian City, that great Mart of all female pleasures, Marcopolis, where she slept in the bosom of her first causes?  Pererius. 
Madame, we have a proverbial saying among us Soldiers, Que la Femme, & la Forteresse qui commence a parlementer, est demy gaignée, The Female and Fortress which begins to parley is half-gained; But I do not find it so here, for this Female would have been contented to have parlyed with me everlastingly if I had held her discourse, insomuch that she desires nothing of a Woman again but only the faculty of talking, only a woman's Tongue, touching other parts, she is utterly alienated in her affection towards the whole Sex, alleging the inequal value that useth to be put upon Women in relation to Man, who holds himself to be of a superior Creation: Then she spoke of the domestical kind of captivities and drudgeries that women are put unto, with many such good-morrows; But, Madam, in all humbleness I desire, that you would vouchsafe to enlarge your Princely favours towards me so far, that I may mingle speech with some more solid creature.  Morphandra. 
You shall presently be partaker of your desires, for I spy upon the brow of that hillock a Mule nibbling the grass, He was by nativity a Tumontian, and by his profession a Doctor of Physic, whom I transformed to that shape, not that he wanted understanding (as the Horse and Mule are said to do) for that Nation hath generally a competent proportion of that, but partly because Physicians there use to ride upon Mules to visit their Patients, as also because that Nation in general use to be taxed for their slow pace and phlegmatic disposition, with their dilatory proceedings in their designs and counsels.  Pererius. 
'Tis true that the Tumantian is tardy and slow in his counsels when he is moulding of a design, and therein he may be said to have a Saturnian motion, but when his design is ripe, and ready to be put in action, than he is nimble enough and follows the motion of Mercury; Add hereunto, that he is not only slow, but wonderful secret in his counsels, insomuch that his designs may be called Mysteries while they are sur le tapis, while they are in the agitation of counsel, which makes them afterwards turn from Mysteries to Exploits.  Morphandra. 
But there was another reason that induced me to transmute that Tumontian Physician to a Mule, which was, that he oftentimes useth to retard the cure and sanation of his Patients for drawing more fees from them, and letting them blood in the purse, as also for other empyrical and Mountibankish Quacking tricks he played, coming hither Physician to a Carack; Therefore you may please to make your approaches to him accordingly.  Pererius. 
Poor stupid Animal, how camest thou to be thus so pitifully disguised and transformed from thy first species, and so honourable a profession? for among all other vocations of life, they say the Physician is to be honoured; Art thou desirous to be re-invested and settled in thy first Nature and Calling, in case Queen Morphandra condescend thereunto? for I have power from her to feel how thy pulse beats that way.  Mule. 
Truly no, for I have an utter disaffection both to my first Species, to my Country, and Calling, in regard I find far more contentment in this constitution of body, and course of life; Touching the first, I am, as I am now, free from those vexations of spirit, and perturbances of mind whereunto Mankind is so miserably obnoxious, or rather enslaved; I feed here upon pure simples, such as the gentle earth produceth and puts out of her prolifical womb, my stomach is never overcharged with surfeits, nor my brain intoxicated with strong drink and the juice of the grape, in every berry whereof there lurks a kind of Devil, for according to the modern proverb, 
From the berry of the Grape, and grain of the Barley,  
Comes many a sore fray and hurliburly.   
Moreover, when I was a Man, my head was distracted ever and anon with strange whimsies, and extravagant opinions, which now I am free from.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, that human brain is like a garden, wherein sundry sorts of herbs and flowers do grow, but touching your Countrymen, they are least subject of any people to such distractions and diversity of opinions, in regard of their exact obedience to their Spiritual and Civil Governors: But what is the cause that you are so out of conceit with your Country, where you received your first essence and existence?  Mule. 
First, because of the immoderate heat thereof, the Sun being too lavish of his beams, which causeth such a sterility and barrenness, that in some places men live like beasts, feeding most of all upon grass and salads, only they have haply a bottle of Oil, and another of Vinegar in their houses to pour amongst them, they seldom see a loaf of bread or bit of meat, but when noon or night comes, they go abroad and gather the said grass for their dinners and suppers, and if they chance to have a few toasted Chestnuts 'tis a great banquet; Which barrenness proceedeth not so much from the heat of the Clime, as from the paucity and lazines of the Inhabitants, who are so naturally given to ease and sloth, from cultivating the earth, and doing other parts of industry.  Pererius. 
It must be granted that Tumontia, in point of fecundity, is inferior to some Regions, as also for number of men, for if she had enough of both, she would make a Hen of the Cock, that is, she would be too hard for her next neighbour Artonia; But touching the first, it carrieth some convenience with it, for it keeps the people more temperate, and able to endure hardship; Then the Country is not so subject to be overrun by foreign force, for in point of Invasion, an Army would be hunger-starved there before they could march far: Yet I have observed, that as much as there is of any commodity in Tumontia, it is better than what grows in other Countries, their Wines, their Flesh, their Fruits, their Horses, their Silks, their Wool, etc. is better there than in other places, and let Artonia her neighbour never vaunt so much of her plenty, yet the Tumontian carrieth a better cloak on his back, he wears better shoes on his feet, he hath a better sword by his side, he drinks better wine, eats better fruit, and hath a better horse under him, etc. than the Artonian; And if Riches consists in Tresures, in plenty of Gold and Silver, Tumontia goes far beyond all other Countries in that particular.  Mule. 
'Tis true, that the Tumontian King is Master of the Mines both of Gold and Silver, yet if you go to the common people, one may say, Who goes worse shod than the Shoemaker's wife? for by mal administration, there is little of that gold and silver that's current among the Inhabitants, either among Merchant, Yeoman, or Artist, but all is a base Copper-coin, which the King enhanceth or decries at pleasure: That treasure you speak of is sent abroad to feed and foment wars in other countries, from which the Timontian King is never free, his sword being always out of the scabbard to secure or enlarge his Territories, which makes the Artonian say, that the Tumontian Ambition hath no Horrizon, it is interminable and boundless.  
Add hereunto that the Treasure you mention is an exotic commodity, 'tis had from far, from another part of the world, where the Tumonitan is said to be a Buggerer of his common Mother (the Earth) more than any, for he fetches it out from her bowels sometimes 50 fathom deep, where the poor slave that digs it sees neither Sun, Moon, nor Stars once in a twelvemonth, being chained to a kind of infernal darkness under ground, and is as it were buried alive before Nature hath outrun her due course in him; And it is a sad story to relate, how many millions of human cretures were made away in the discovery and conquest of that huge Continent, what a world of blood was spilt, and innocent souls swept away; Insomuch that if the Treasure which was got ever since, and the Blood which was shed were put in counter-scales, the latter (as one said) would outpoise the first.  Pererius. 
'Tis true, that the reduction of that vast piece of Earth was somewhat Tragical, but it was impossible to perform the work otherwise, and secure the Conquerors, in regard of that huge mass of Peeple and swarms of Men which were found there, who could not by fair means be brought to civility: Now it is a dubious question to determine, whether those Savages gained more by the Tumontian, or the Tumontian by them; 'Tis true, that he got by them Gold, Silver, and Gems, which 'tis confessed are the most precious productions of Nature; But what did they receive from the Tumontian by way of exchange? They received Religion and virtue, civility and knowledge, government and policy; Therefore the rest of the known World should veil to the Tumontian for this mighty Exploit, and happy Discovery, which it seems the Great God of Nature had reserved for him as a benediction from the beginning; And certainly a mighty blessing it was, if we enter into a due contemplation of the Thing, and acknowledge it so, for thereby there was as much of the Terrestrial Globe found out, in point of extent and amplitude, as the Geometricians give out, that did very near equal all the Old World: But what a world of dangers and difficulties did the Tumontian overcome in this achieument? At first the incertitude of the business, the huge distance, the perils of the tnmbling Ocean did offer themselves; On the other side, the Expenses of the Expedition, and the despair of more provisions when the old stores were spent, as also being to take footing on a new Earth, the Inhabitants might prove stronger than the Invaders etc. It cannot be denied, but such encumbrances as these might have distracted & deterred the highest human nature from such an incertain attempt; But at last the Tumontian courage and magnanimity was such, that it broke through all these difficulties: And as the generous Boar, being entangled in the Toils, doth try all possible ways, he turns about and struggles how to get out, at last, when all will not serve the turn, he lies down 'twixt quietness and despair, putting himself upon the mercy of the Huntsman; So the Fortune of that great Action being tied as it were to those apprehensions of fear and doubt which did possess it, at last she doth prostrate herself at the feet of the Tumontian valour and virtue, tying herself thereunto by a perpetual tribute; She brings him afterwards Mines and Mountains of Gold, yea Rivers running with red Oar, Seas full of Pearl, Soils full of Aromatical Spices, new Species of useful cretures etc. All this did that new World afford Tumontia as a grateful return for such indefatigable labours, and constancy in poursuance of that glorious Enterprise.  Mule. 
Noble Prince, truly Tumontia is infinitely engaged unto you for these high Eulogiums you please to give of her, yet, under favour, there is a strange fate, I am loath to say a curse, which attends that far fetched Treasure you magnify so much; For observable it is, that not long after the conquest of those harmless people, whom God and Nature had planted there from the first Creation, the revolt of Hydraulia and the confederate Provinces happened, which consumed of that Treasure you speak of above five and twenty hundred millions first and last, otherwise the Tumontian Kings might have paved their Courts, and tiled their Palaces (as it was said elsewhere) with Gold and Silver; For as I told you before, the least part of this Treasure remains in Tumontia, and that is only in Monasteries and other Religious Houses, the common coin is Brass and Copper, wherein the Hydraulian 'tis thought hath done more mischief to Tumontia than any other way, for copper and brass being cheap with her, she is so dextrous in counterfeiting the Tarmontian coin, that whole Sows of Lead, and Masts hollowed within have been found crammed with that coin among her Cargazons, when she came to the Ports of Tumontia to trade.  Pererius. 
Well, let's cut off these circumlocutions, and come again to the main point; Have you a disposition of returning to your primitive Nature, to your Country, and so learned a Calling? It is impossible for you to meet with a fairer opportunity, and let me tell you, Opportunity is the best moment in the whole extension of time.  Mule. 
Concerning my former Nature, I gave you some touches formerly why I prefer my present condition before it, I had also some reflexes upon my Country, I could say much more of her, but that I am dissuaded by the proverb, that 'tis a sorry bird that beraies his own nest: Now Sir, touching my former profession, which you applaud so much, 'tis true, there is a kind of learning and lucre that does attend it, but withal there is a great deal of sordidnes; I will converse no more with ulcers, cankers, and impostumes; I will pry no more into close-stools and urinals, or rake gold out of excrements, as the Poet tells us, 
Aurum Virgilius exstercore colligit Ennî,  
Fecit Virgilius quod facit & Medicus.   
No are the Fees which belong to that Profession in Tumontia any thing considerable, where Doctors of Physic use to attend a Patient, with their Mules and Footcloths in a kind of state, yet they receive but two shillings for their Fee for all their gravity and pains; Add hereunto, that there are up and down the world so many poor Empirics of this Trade, that it is nothing of that esteem as it was; which makes the British Epigrammatist sing wittily, 
Qui modò venisti nostram Mendicus in Urbem,  
Paulùm mutato nomine fis Medicus;  
Pharmaca das Aegroto, aurum tibi porrigit Aeger,  
Tu morbum curas Illius, Ille tuum.   Pererius. 
Touching the first part of your speech, it shows the exact government of Tumontia, where there is an exact Tax laid upon the Fees both of Physician & Lawyer, which they dare not surpass; Touching the other part, they are but clinches and passages of Drollery, nor do Physicians much value such gingling conceits all the while they finger our coin, for all the world doth grant, that the study of Physic is both learned and necessary, and 'tis the chiefest kind of Learning, for thereby a man comes to know himself; For the Physician can say more truly than any other, Nosco meipsum.  Mule. 
Though Physicians know themselves never so well and the constitution of their bodies, yet when they are sick they commonly take their Receipts by prescription of others, being distrustful of themselves; And whereas you say, the practice of Physic is necessary, I remember to have read, that the point was debated before Pope Alexander the sixth, and canvased to and fro, some alleging that Physicians were superfluous and not necessary for a Commonwealth, because Rome stood and flourished many hundred years before the use of Physic was first introduced, during which time men never lived more healthful and longer; His Holiness opinion being desired at last, he said, he was for the affirmatif, and that he held Physicians to be absolutely necessary for a Commonwealth, in regard that were it not for physicians the world would be so thick of people, that one could not live for another: Intimating thereby that the Physicians help to make them away.  Pererius. 
Yet your experience tells you, that the Physical Art is noble, and one of the seven liberal Sciences, consisting of undoubted and certain Principles, containing a world of Natural knowledge.  Mule. 
There is Therapeutic or contemplative Physic, there is Diagnostic or knowing, and there is Prognostic Physic; If we consider Physic as she is a Seience, she hath most true and certain Aphorisms, for she considers only universals, which are eternal and invariable, and breed certitudes in us, because she arrives to the knowledge of things by their causes, and so she may be called Scientifical, and appertains to contemplation, whose only scope is to discover Tnuth singly of itself; But if we consider Physic as an Art, which proceeds from experience and action, she is incertain and fallacious in her operations, in regard of the various constitutions of human bodies, for those Drugs and Receipts which do work kindly with some bodies, find cross operations in others, and many times the true symptoms of the disease is not known; Moreover we administer to others what we never take ourselves, which made a great aged Physician, being asked how he came to live so long, to answer, I have lived so long because never any Drug entered into my guts; Besides, when any Pill or Potion hath a kindly operation in the Patient, it is as much by hap as by any good cunning; What a number of remedies are there for one only disease? whence may be inferred, that there is not any one peculiar infallible remedy; Insomuch that when the Physician applies universals to Particulars, and administers any Purgation, Vomit, or Electuary, it is requisite that both the Physician and Patient be fortunate, there is a kind of happiness required in the business; Add hereunto, that the complexion of men and women are so differing, their appetite so irregular and disordinate, that it makes all Physical operations to be so incertain; Now touching the species of Us Sensitive cretures, they are of so even & strong complexions, their appetites are so regular, their nutriments and food, their drinks are so simple, that they need not any physical Drugs; Whereas among Mankind, they make ever and anon an Apothecary's shop of their bellies, being still in a course of Physic, which makes them so miserable, for it is a true proverb, Qui vivit medicè, vivit miserè; Therefore a kind of Tragical speech was that of Alexander the Great, when upon expiring his last, he cried out, being but then in the Meridian of his age, Pereo turbâ Medicorum, I perish by too many Physicians.  Pererius. 
It begets much wonder in me that you should thus traduce your own Calling, and derogate from so learned and laudable a Profession, a Faculty that hath been always accounted to have a high kind of Divinity in it, being founded by Apollo himself.  Mule. 
In the shape I now wear, I cannot lie nor flatter, I can neither cog, cageòle, nor compliment, as I did when I was a man, when I used ever and anon to kiss those hands which I wished in my thoughts had been cut off, my heart and my tongue lying now more level and even, there's nearer relation betwixt them; Therefore what I told you before was truth, simple truth, wherein the Brute Animal goes beyond the Rational, who is subject to innumerable errors, dissimulations, and the humour of lying.  
But to enlarge myself a little further upon the former subject of Physic, which you call so learned an Art, you know that every one is a Fool or a Physician to himself naturally, after he hath passed the Meridian of his years, therefore what great learning can there be in this?  Pererius. 
'Tis much truth; I have heard of divers irrational cretures that are learned this way, who by the mere instinct and conduct of nature, can direct themselves to things that can cure them.  Mule. 
This cannot be denied, and therein many of them are more sagacious than men; The Serpent goes to Fenell when he would clear his sight, or cast off his old scruffy skin to wear a new one; The Stagg, Buck, or Do, when they are hurt have recourse to Dittany; The Swallow when she finds her young ones have sore eyes, makes use of Celandine, or Swallow-wort; The Snail heals herself with Hemlock; the weasel, when she prepares to fight with the Mole, useth to raise her spirits by eating Rue; The Stork heals all his infirmities with Origanum; The wild Boar with Ivy; The Elephant fenceth himself from the poison of the Chameleon with Olive leaves; The Bear makes use of Mandragora against Pismires; The Partridge and wild Pigeon do use to purge their superfluities with Bay-leaves; The Dog, when he feels himself indisposed in his stomach, runs to the green grass a little bedewed, etc. But what need I detain you with more instances? take any sensitive creature you please, and you will find, that Nature hath taught him a remedy against all infirmities that are incident unto him, not only to the species but to every Individual, and all this without any expense of time or treasure, without any study or labour, without any fee or reward, without any teaching or instructions from others; Whence 'tis apparent, that Nature is more careful and indulgent of Us than of Ratinall cretures, who though they are subject to a thousand infirmities more, yet not one in a thousand knows how to cure himself; but he must have recourse to the Physician, and so trusts him with his life, and if he chance to work a cure upon him, he useth to give his purse a purgation also, for Though God heals, yet the Physician carries away the Fees.  Pererius. 
'Tis very fitting the labourer should have his hite, and that every one should live by his calling, but how can money be better employed than for the recovery of Health, which is the most precious of all Jewels, without which we can neither serve God, man, or ourselves?  Mule. 
It is very true that Physicians sometimes restore health, but they miss as often, how can they cure an Ague, which is called opporbrium Medicorum, the shame of Physicians? besides, there's an Artonian proverb says, A la Goutte le Medecin ne voit gout, The Gout makes the Physician blind; Yet they have this privilege, that the earth covers all their faults: Now, what a world of distempers and maladies is man's body subject unto? There is a common saying that says, He hath as many diseases as a horse, but 'tis false, for man hath many more; besides, a horse hath few or no diseases at all, but what the cruelty of man, doth cause in him, either when he is overriden, and so becomes broken-winded, when galled backed, foundered, or splintered by the carelessness or cruelty of the Rider, as I said before, whereas a good man should be merciful to his beast; But there's never a part of the human body, but it hath I cannot tell how many peculiar diseases belonging unto it; Go to the Head, it hath the Cephalagia, the Hemicrania, or the Migrain, it hath the Scotomy or Vertigo, the Palsy, Convulsion, Epilepsy or Falling-sickness, It hath the Phrenitis, Mania or Frenzy, Catarrhs, Apoplexy, with many other; Go to the Lungs, it hath the Astma, Pluritis, Peripneumonia, Empyema, Ptisis, Haemocrises, with sundry more; Go to the Heart the fountain of life, it hath the Syncope or swooning, Palpitation, etc. Go to the Stomach, it hath Inappetentia, Fames Canina or the Wolf, it hath the Pica, Malacia, Singultus or the Hicock, spitting of blood, choler, Abscesses or Impostumes, Ulcers, etc. Go to the Liver, it hath Obstruction, the Jaundice, the Dropsy, Cirrhus, Inflammation, Ulcer, Impostume, etc. Go to the Bowels, they have the Colique, Iliaca Passio or voiding excrements at the mouth, Astrictio alvi, Lineteria, or smoothness of the guts, Caeliaca affectio or pappy stools, Diarrhaea or thin scouring, Dysenteria or the bloody-flix, Tenesmus or soreness of the fundament, Fluxus Hepaticus, Lombrici or the Worms, the Hemerroids, Fistula, etc. Go to the Spleen, there is Dolour lienis, Obstructio, Hypochondriacal melancholy or the Mother, etc. Go to the Reins, Bladder, and Genitals, there is Calculus or the Stone, Inflammatio, Mictus fanguinis, Diabete, when one voids more urine than he drinks, Incontinentia urinae, Ardour, Iscuria, when the passage is quite stopped, the Strangury, when one pisseth drop by drop, Lues Venerea, St. Anthony's Fire, the Chancre, and Botches, etc. Go to the joints, there is Arthritis, and sundry sorts of Gouts, etc. Go to the Eye, there is Gutta Serena, Suffusio or a Cataract with a film, Ophthalmia, Epiphola or hot rheum, Aegilops, Fistula Lachrymalis, and above twenty more; Go to the Ear, there is Surditas, Sonitus, Dolot aurium, etc. Go to the Nose, there is Ozana, Ulcus, Polypus or lump of flesh, Faetor narium, Hemoragia or excess of bleeding, Coryza or the Pose, Sternutatio, withdiversmore; Go to the Tongue, there is Paralysis, Laesus, Gustus inflammatio, Ranula sub lingua, etc. Go to the Teeth, Throat, and Gums, there is Angina or the Squinzy, there is fluxus, Uuulae relaxatio, with sundry more; There is also abundance of peculiar diseases that are incident to Women, there is Chlorosis or the Greensickness, Cancers in the breasts, Suppressio mensium, Fluor muliebris, Fluor uterinus, Histerica passio, Inflammatio, Ulcus uteri, Cirrhus uteri, Cancer uteri, Gangraena uteri, Hydrops uteri, Clausura uteri, Sterilitas, Obortus, Partus diffioilis, Faetus mortuus, Secundina retenta, Proscidentia, with many more; Out of these premises the conclusion follows, that Human bodies both male and female are nought else but frail Vessels, or Bottoms wherein are slowed all manner of perishable Commodities; But these which I have spoken of are corporeal, and most of them outward diseases that attend the body of mankind, whereof I have not enumerated the twentieth part; But if you go to his Rational Soul, she hath also her distempers, the indisposition of the inward man is greater, the anxieries and agonies of the mind, the racking torments of the thoughts are more violent, the enchanting passions of love transports him to frenzies. Incertitudes of holy things, and fits of despair work sometimes so powerfully, that he becomes Felo de se, making him to destroy himself, and cut off the thread of his life before Lachesis hath wound it half up; And were there a Physician that could cure the discomposures and sicknesses of the human soul, he would be the rarest among mortals; And were I sure I could have a faculty to do that, I would turn Man and Physician again.  Pererius. 
There are other kind of Physicians for those maladies, viz. the Ghostly Fathers of the Church, acts and exercises of piety are the lenitifs for such distempers, and preservatifs against them; For he who is in peace with Heaven, and useth to convers with his Creator, is free from such discomposures, from all tumultuary confusions and perturbances of thoughts; 'Tis confessed, there's no human creature has his humours so evenly poised within him, that he is always the same, he is sometimes jovial and merry, he is sometimes Saturnin and melancholy, and it must be so while the Stars pour different influxes upon us, but especially while the humours within us have a symbolisation with the four Elements, who are in restless conflict among themselves who shall have the mastery, as the humours do in us for predominancy; Insomuch that the humours or passions may be said to be to the soul as strings to a musical Instrument, which sometimes use to jar, sometimes to go in a true harmony; and this the Physician who is Nature's Student, hath more advantage to know than others: But let us spin out time no longer, for 'tis a true as well as a trite proverb, that Spinning out of time never made good cloth; At a word, will you embrace this comfortable proffer I make you from the gracious Queen Morphandra, and turn Tumontian again?  Mule. 
Truly Sir I have neither mind nor maw to it, for in the state wherein I am settled, I use to exercise the operations of nature with more freedom, and much less encumbrance, following only the dictates of sense, and being solely guided thereby.  Pererius. 
But what are the dictates of sense, compared with the intellectual powers of the human soul? what is the Sense which trades alone with gross bodies, and qualities emergent thence, compared with Reason, a faculty whereby the soul converseth with blessed Angels and immateriat Beings, and by Metaphysical and sublime notions wings herself up into the arms of Him who breathed her first into the body of man? In the upper Court of the Soul's residence, we may compare the Soul to an Empress, wisely restraining or giving freedom to the misguided affections, according to the exact rules of Reason; Here we have Man ruling in Man, dressing and manuring Man as another Paradise, wherein is all possible variety, yet no confusion, no disorder, no unruly passions tyrannising over Reason, no disturbance of mind, no distemper of body, but a most admirable harmony of all things in the whole Universe of Man; Reason is that Diadem whereby the soul doth rule and regulat the will, and the affections, the Chancellor which doth moderate the motions of both; Reason is that Rod wherewith the Soul is kept in awe to obey, without any servile fear, her Creator and chiefest Good; By Reason the Soul discerns there is a God, deducing arguments from the Creation of the fair fabric of the world, which had either existence from itself, or was produced by another; but it could not give a first being to itself, in regard 'tis repugnant to the principles of Nature, that any thing should be the cause of itself; Therefore the Inference is undeniable, that the world was made by another which was pre-existent, and such another that was the Efficient cause thereof, not produced by any other former efficient cause, but was of Himself, and by Himself from eternity, which can be no other than God; Another argument the Soul draws from the necessary dependence of a finite Being upon an Infinite, for all created natures are finite, both in respect of their essence, and operations; Now, every thing that is finite must necessarily be limited by another, seeing it is impossible that any thing should give bounds to itself; And there being not in things finite a progress to Infinity, We must at length come to some certain Independent Being, which is not circumscribed or limited by another, but is of itself essentially and virtually infinite, which can be no other than God Almighty; A third argument is drawn from the necessary dependence of a Secondary cause upon a First, for unless we do here also grant a progress to Infinity, which is absurd in mounting up the scale of subordination of causes, we must at length meet with one primary both Efficient and Final cause, that hath no other cause superior or precedent unto it, which is only God: Another argument the Soul draweth, still by the ministry of Reason, to prove a Deity, is the constant course of the Stars, those glorious Luminaries, and the continued order of all things else in their first station, through all the vicissitudes of corruption and generation, which doth forcibly intimat an ubiquitary Providence, a wise Rector, Governor, and Commander, upon whose direction all things depend; No sooner doth the Soul by such reaches of Reason throughly satisfy herself that there is a God, but she mounts yet higher, endeavouring to know what God is; But such is the transcendent refulgence of his Majesty, that she finds it impossible to look God in the face, or to know him à priori; yet though she is not able to behold his face, yet she hath leave granted to know him à posteriori, though she cannot define the incomprehensible Deity, yet she may still, guided by light of Reason, describe him by an aggregation of Attributes? To know God by his Attributes is a near approach to his Deity; Yet the Rational soul goes still nearer, first prying into his Essence, then returning to herself, and contriving which way she should know more, at length she says within herself, Operatio sequitur Esse, Action follows its Being; Then she busies herself in the contemplation of God's Actions, which she finds either immanent and inward, or transient and outward; The immanent actions of God are such as are performed intrinsically within Himself, without any external respect to the creature, whereby he is said to contemplate, to know, and love Himself; Here the Soul takes notice of a reflection of the Deity upon itself, and so is heightened to the supposition of a Trinity, the cardinal and abstrusest point, the highest pitch she can soar unto; She proceeds to argue, that whereas God doth conceive and know Himself, he doth beget a perfect Image of Himself, from which issueth a perfect Love of Himself, and a complacency; Now, seeing there is nothing in God which is not God, both the Image of God, and the Love of God seem to be distinct Subsistences of the same Essence with Him from whom they proceed, as when an Eye doth see itself, there is first the Eye seeing, secondly, the Eye seen, or at least the Image of the eye seen, from which action of seeing her arises a desire of enjoyment; This comparison doth in some sort adumbrat the blessed Trinity; First, there is the Eye; Secondly, there is a Reflection or Image of the Eye; Thirdly, there is a love or complacency which proceeds from both; The first is God the Father, the Second is God the Son, and the third is God the Holy Ghost; Now, although these three Subsistencies be all concentred in the Deity, yet they are distinct each one from the other in their operations ad extra, though in immanent, or in actions ad intra, they are individual: Thus the Human Soul ascends to the knowledge of her Eternal Good, by the ministry and reaches of Reason, therefore methinks you should have an Ambition to be endued with that divine Faculty again, and so return to your native soil from this society of irrational brute Animals, and be a subject to so great a Monarch as the Tumontian King is, your natural liege Lord and Prince, whose Dominions are of such a vast expansion that they reach to the very Antipodes, the other Hemisphere of the world, whereby he may say, that the Sun never sets, but shines upon some part or other of his Territories every hour of the natural day, all the while Apollo fetches a career about the world.  Mule. 
Touching the first part of this your last discourse, wherein you so much magnify the faculty of Reason, and that thereby you arrive to the notion of heavenly things, truly Sir, I am of his opinion who held, that all the knowledge which man hath of his Creator is but one degree above blindness; What the eye of a Bat is to the Sun in its Meridian, the same is the most perspicacious eye of man's understanding if he look upon his Maker: In the state that now I live do not puzzle my brain with such presumptuous reserches and incertain speculations, but am contented with the doctrine and dictamen of Sense only, which are more infallible.  
Concerning the last part of your speech, it cannot be denied but that the Tumontian King is one of the greatest Potentats that ever was upon earth, if his Dominions were contiguous and united, but there is such an unsociable distance between them, that the Artonian will tell you, His Monarchy is like a great Cloak made up of patches; Moreover, I have no great comfort to be his subject now, because he hath gone down the wind for many years, having been so shrewdly shaken in the saddle, most of that Country you spoke of which reacheth to the Antipodes being revolted from him, and he hath very lately disgorged many a good bit to Artonia: Add hereunto, that his people in Tumontia are grown miserably poor of late years by such insupportable Taxes, and drainings of men for the Wars, insomuch that there are scarce enough left to cultivat the earth: Yet such is the rare obedience, and the phlegmatic humour of the Tumontians, that they are still as awful, they are as conformable and quiet, as if their King were as virtuous, as victorious, and the least exacter the ever Prince was; But this they do for their own advantage, for if there were another Governor set up, it would inevitably hurl the whole Country into civil tumults and combustion, & so the remedy would be worse than the disease.  Pererius. 
They show themselves a prudent people in that, for it is in Governments as it is in choice of wives, Seldom comes a better; But the Tumontian hath other commendable qualities, for besides his constant obedience to his Prince, He is also constant to his Religion, he is in perpetual enmity with the common enemy of the Cross, Moreover he never serves any Prince in the wars but his own, nor goes he to trade abroad into and Country but to his own Master's Territories: And are not you desirous to be one of that brave Nation again? Therefore let me advise you now once for all, to shake off that dull despicable shape, which useth, in natural production to have no better mother than an Ass.  Mule. 
Truly Sir, you may please (as the proverb runs) to keep your breath to cool your pattage, and spend it no longer upon me, for I am resolved to live and die in this shape; But whereas you brand it with the term of despicable, I would have you know, that our bodies have more virtues far in them than Man's, and whereof Man makes common use towards his health: Our very foam drunk in warm wine is good against pursines; Some of our hairs mingled with those of an Ass and dried, and so put to a perfume, are good against the Epilepsy, The milt of one of us is good against the Falling-evill, nay the very dust wherein one of us hath tumbled, is good to mitigate the ardours of Love, being sprinkled upon the body; But take heed how you anger us, for our bitings are poisonous: We have sundry other medicinal virtues, which I will here pretermit; Therefore whereas you call this species of ours despicable, we deserve rather more respect considering the said virtues; Insomuch that if I should exchange this shape for man's, I should prove a greater fool than that Mule in the Fable, who seeing a goodly barbed Horse going to the Wars, and saying within himself, It may be that gallant Horse and I had the same mother, therefore why should not I have so much courage and stoutness in me? I would I had such a rider, such a great saddle, trappings and arms to try my courage; But seeing the Horse led back in the evening all bloody and wounded, he repented himself of his former foolish wish.   

〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
The Sixth Section.  
Consisting of interchangeable Discourses 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Fox, who had been a Saturnian born, whom for his cunning dealings, and Mountebankish wily tricks, she transformed from a Merchant to that species; This Section treats of divers things, and particularly how the Art of true Policy is degenerated, and what poor Sciolists or Smatterers are cried up in that Art of late years, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Fox. Pererius. 
MOst admired Queen, I render you my most humble acknowledgements for the continuance of your great favours towards me, which I am now in half-despair that I shall not be able to make use of for perfecting my designs upon these brute Animals; Touching this last, I find in him also an averseness both to his first Constitution, to his Country, and to his Culling; Concerning the first, he complains of the nomberles diseases which are incident to every part of that Microcosm of Man, as also the various and violent distempers of the mind, with the stings of conscience, which brute Animals are not subject unto, etc. Touching the second, viz. his Country, he inveighs against the craggy swellings of it, the excess of heat, and consequently the sterilities of it, which is such, that there is not a competency of bread (which is the staff of life) for the twentieth man that breathes in it, etc. Touching the third, viz. His former Calling, he complains of the incertainties, the sordidness, and a kind of Atheism that it is subject unto, for while the Physician tampers so much with second causes, it brings him to a forgetfulness of the first, etc. But, Madam, I desire to try conclusions upon some nimbler and wittier creature than that lumpish mongrel Mule.  Morphandra. 
You shall be partaker of your desires presently, for I espy a Fox near that hedge who was a Saturnian Merchant, born in Rugilia, whom for his cunningnes in negotiating, and for some Hocos-pocos and Mountebankish tricks I transformed to a Fox, who you know is the most politic, the wittiest and wiliest of all Quadrupedalls, whereof there are multitudes of examples; One time he cozened the Crow, who having got a morsel of green cheese, and being perched upon the bough of an Oak to eat it, a Fox perceiving it went under the tree, and stood gazing upon the Crow, saying, What a base lying thing is common fame, who says that thou art a black ill-favoured Bird? truly methinks thou art the fairest that ever I saw, and couldst thou but sing as others do, thou deserv'st to be Queen of Birds; The Crow being tickled with these praises fell a opening her beak, so down fell the cheese, and the Fox made merry with it; But he was more wily with the Wolf, for a Fox having got into a Farmer's yard, and skulking up and down in a Moonshine night, there being a well in the yard he peeped into it, and the reflex of the Moon being in the water, he thought it was a new cheese, thereupon he whipped into one of the buckets, and down he went to feed upon it; Being in that plunge, it chanced that a Wolf came also skulking thereabouts for his prey, and looking into the well, the Fox cries out, O brother Wolf, her's most dainty cheer, and there's enough for us both; so the Wolf leaping into the other bucket drew up the Fox, who being got on the top, and he in the bottom of the well said, Farewell brother wolf, and much good may the new cheese do unto you, so he got free, leaving another in his room; He was also too hard for the Lion, who as he is King of Quadrupedalls, having put forth a Proclamation, that all horned beasts should give attendance at Court on such a day to a great Feast, (though his plot was to pray on them) the Ass meeting with a Fox said, Come let's go to Court to see the great show, for if there should be any danger we are free from it, in regard we have no horns, though sufficient ears; I, quoth the Fox, but if the Lion says that our ears be horns, they must be horns; Moreover I have observed the tracks of many beasts going into the Lion's Cave but none coming back: This was only caution, but it was a trick of wit that the Fox played with the Eagle, who having got one of his young Cubs, and carried it to the top of a high tree where his nest was, to pray upon it, the Fox got a brand or two of fire and put it to the trunk of the tree, which so scared the Eagle, that he brought down the young Cubb and laid it in the place he found it; How commonly doth the Fox cozen both Huntsman and Dog, when being poursued he useth to get into a ploughed field, and stretching himself all along in a furrow he often escapes, his skin and the earth being of a colour; Therefore you may make trial now upon a brute Animal that hath some sagacity and wit, as well as activity.  Pererius. 
I will towards him; Signior Fox, you need not stare so much nor startle, for I am come neither to hunt you, nor hurt you any way, rather I am come upon a business that will tend hugely to your advantage; But I desire first to be informed how you came to be transformed or deformed rather, from the noble shape of Man to this groveling brutish figure.  Fox. 
I was once a Rugilian Merchant, and born in that proud City, (for that's her Epithet above all other Cities) where, according to the proverb, there are Mountains without Wood, Seas without Fish, Men without Faith, and Women without Shame; where also the horned husbands are said to get their wifes with child a hundred miles off; And being come hither upon a gallant ship, with a Cargazon of divers Commodities, I was transmuted to this shape you behold, for my overcunning and cautelous dealings.  Pererius. 
Well, have you a disposition to be redintegrated into your first Being, for Queen Morphandra hath been pleased to promise me you should be, if your will concur with my desire; Therefore tell me freely if you have a mind to see Saturnia again, your native soil, the Mistress of the world, the Source of all civility, the Nurse of true nobleness and virtue, the prime Propagatresse of Religion and Learning; Where Nature hath her chiefest Magazines of Silk, Bacchus his Inner-cellars of sweet Wines, Flora her prime Garden of Flowers, and Pomona her principal Orchard of Fruits; where Pandora hath her choicest Residence, Policy hath her chiefest School, where Arms and Arts have their chiefest Academy; Have you a desire to be transported to this your dainty and dear Country, and put on the habit and habitudes of Man again?  Fox. 
Truly no, for here I live in a better Country, in a better Condition, and in better Company, than I did in Saturnia.  Pererius. 
Do not deceive yourself, for you will never be able to prove that, though you had all the Logic that ever Athens taught.  Fox. 
Touching the first, whereas you magnify Saturnia so much for her fertility, let me tell you, that to my knowledge there be divers parts of her so barren and desolate, that you shall not meet with a house in twenty miles riding; Rugilia, that part wherein I came first into the world, may be called nothing else but a Conventicle of Rocks and Craggs; In some places you may see three Marquess' on one tree gathering Figgs to keep them from starving: They brag of a River that hath Junkets in her, some Comfits, some Plumms, some Cinnamon, but these Junkets are but white stones bearing the shape of all these; there's no Country hath more Tempests, more Tremble and Earthquakes, whereof there have been very lately such formidable examples of utter desolation and subversion of twenty Towns; There is part of the Country which is under a perpetual shadowy darkness or adumbration, whence the whole Province takes its denomination; there's no Clime under the convex of Heaven where Meteors and fulgurations are more impetuous and violent.  
Touching the second, which was my former Condition, there's a thing called Conscience which used to tyrannize and torture me when I was a Man, I often found within me a gnawing worm, I often felt sore stings, sore pricks, and remorses of the said Conscience, which the Theologues call Synteresis, that ever and anon did discompose the quietude of my thoughts, and disturb me in my gaining profession; But in this state I am free from such perplexities, for now, though I suck the blood of twenty Geese a day, and destroy whole roosts of Hens, the thing called Conscience never troubles me. Moreover, besides this rack of Conscience, there is a vice called Covetousness that Man is subject unto, and when all other vices grow old in him, this vice grows younger and younger. I remember I was slavishly addicted hereunto, I would have flayed a louse could I have made benefit of her skin, but now I am free from that fordid vice, from that kind of idolatry, for according to the saying, he is the worse Idolater who adores Gold, for he may be said thereby to worship the Devil, for Pluto is the god of Riches; In the shape I bear, I covet no more but what will satisfy nature only: There is another cursed and cruciatory humour called jealousy which much afflicts Mankind, and it reigns more amongst that Nation I was once of than among any other; Jealousy among the thoughts is like Bats among birds, it doth mightily discompose the whole inward man, and disturb the tranquillity of his mind, nay it hurls him often upon desperate and bloody attempts.  
Touching the third, which is Company, I have now far better, conversing with these innocuous and simple Animals. The society of men is much more dangerous, specially of my quondam Countrymen, for upon any occasion of distaste one is in danger of a Saturnian Fig, or to be poisoned by the smoke of a candle, by the suavity of a flower, or by a glove or handkerchief; For four or five Ducats reward, one may be master of any man's life in some places of Saturnia, for he will find a mercenary instrument to murder any body; Add hereunto, that my Countrymen are full of revenge, and vindicatif in the highest degree, they will seldom suffer one to do them a second wrong, but dispatch him away to the other world, which is the occasion of a saying, Take heed of a slow Foe in Saturnia, and of a sudden Friend in Artonia; I could give you many examples hereof, but I will produce only two; In Marcopolis, the greatest Mart of the Western world, (though two of her chiefest be but brittle Commodities, viz. Lasses and Glasses) there were two rich Merchants who had been partners a long time, it chanced that one of them knowing the other to be over familiar with his wife, he dissembled his passion a great while, till his thoughts had contrived and concluded a revenge upon him, so he solemnly invited his partner to a Feast, and after dinner he led him to a Garden that he had by the Seaside, being there alone together he brought him to an Arbour, where among divers other rarities there was a curious new large Chari made with such artifice, that when one had put himself to sit in it, there were certain gins and vices would suddenly rise up and clasp in his body both arms and thighs; His Partner being thus locked fast in the Chair, he presently gaggs him, and having locked the Garden door, he drew a great double-edged knife, and being upon the point of stabbing him, the Partner said, Oh be not so inhuman and barbarously cruel as to kill me before confession, therefore have some commiseration on my soul; Well, replied the murderer, if thou wilt do one thing, I may spare thee thy life, which is, If thou wilt defy the holy Trinity, and renounce all hopes of salvation in it, etc. The Partner (in hopes of future repentance to expiate his offence) repeated those words three times, and the third time as soon as he had done repeating them, he stabbed him in the breast, and cloven his heart in two, and so threw his body into the Sea to make food for Haddocks; But a while after his body being retreeved and taken up in a fisher-net just under that wall, the murder was discovered, and the murderer being put upon the Strappado he confessed all, and going up the Gibbe to be executed, he broke out into a great fit of laughter; His ghostly Father and Confessor telling him, that he was now going to give account of that horrid murder he had committed before the great Judge of the world, therefore that passion of laughter did not become him; Oh, said he, whensoever I think upon that full revenge I had of that villain, my heart danceth within me for joy, for I was not only revenged upon his body but also upon his soul, in which humour he breathed his last.  
Another was as bloody, if not more; In the ancient City of Cerano, there was a Prince who left three sons behind him, Conradus, Caesar, and Alexander; Conradus was used to come from his palace in the Country to his Castle in Cerano, where he had appointed a Governor, and a Garrison of soldiers; The Governor having a comely Lady to his wife, the young Prince was struck in love with her, and at last enjoyed her; The Governor having knowledge thereof did meditat upon a revenge, thereupon he sent to Conradus (his Lord and Master) that he had lately discovered two or three wild Boars in the Forest of Cerano, therefore if his Highness would please to come thither together with his two brothers, there would be very Princely sport for them, and he would prepare all things ready for the Game; Hereupon the young Prince and his second Brother coming thither expressly for that sport, it chanced that Alexander the youngest brother was then out of the way; So the Governor of the Castle having provided a plentiful supper for the two Princes and their Retinue, being both gone to bed, he calls his Officers together, and told them, gentlemans, what does he deserve, who for many good services and hospitalities done unto him, doth in lieu of thanks abuse ones wife, and defiles his bed? They all cried out, He deserves death; Truly Gentlemen, thus hath Prince Conradus used me; They cried out again, Let him die, and we will stick unto you, and be faithful; So the Governor taking some of those Officers with him in the dead of night, they broke suddenly into the chamber where Conradus was asleep, and heaving up the bed-cloaths, they first cut off his privy-members, than they chopped off his head, than they quartered his body, and strewed them up and down the chamber; So all was hushed that night; Prince Caesar coming to wait on his Brother the next morning, the Governor ushered him in, and seeing his Brother's head bleeding on the window, and his limbs scattered up and down the room, he said, Oh! is this the wild Boar you writ to him of? Yes, said the Governor, and I remember I writ of two or three; Hereupon he was also knocked down, and used in the same manner? The Tragedy being acted thus far, he takes his Officers, and going upon the Castle walls, he sent to speak with the Syndic and Burgesses of the Town, unto whom he made a Speech, that they had been a long time in servitude or a kind of slavery to Conradus and that Family, and now there was a fair opportunity offered for them to redeem their liberties, for he had Conradus and his Brother in his custody, and the Officers with the rest of the Garrison were inclined to do them away, if the Town would join with them; But the Town showing an averseness, or rather a detestation of such disloyalty and treason, sent to Prince Alexander the youngest Brother, and the Citizens of Cerano joining with the forces he brought with him to expiate his Brother's bloods, they beleaguer the Castle round; Thereupon the Governor taking his wife and children with him to the top of the highest Turret, he first threw down headlong his wife, than his three children, and last of all he precipitates himself, and so the Tragedy ended.  Pererius. 
A Tragedy indeed, and one of the direfullest that ever I heard of; It must be granted, that the Saturnian spirit is much bend upon revenges, he is in the extremes commonly, Quod vult valde vult, quod odit valde odit; virtues and vices are there in the Superlative degree: But truly if the virtues and vices of that noble Nation were weighed in a balance, I am confident the first would out-poise the second, for there might be more instances of actions of high virtue produced, than of vice; I will make mention of one, and that a very modern one, and no Romance; There was in the ancient Amphitheatricall City of Rovena a young Marquis, who fell desperately in love with a Merchant's wife, he courted her a long time but could not prevail, at last, the Merchant having a Villa or Countryhouse, whither he was gone a while for divertisement, the Marquis went a Hawking thereabouts one day, and letting his Hawk fly of purpose into the Merchant's Orchard, he and his men rid luring after her, and retreeved her in the Orchard where the Marquis himself was entered, having obtained leave before; The Hawk being found, the Merchant invites the Marquis to a Treatment, where his wife was present, and very officious to please; Being departed, she asks her husband who he was? He answered, 'Tis the Marquis of such a place, one of the gallantest and most hopeful young Noblemen in all Saturnia, a person full of transcendent parts and high perfections, etc. These praises making deep impressions in his wife, and the Marquis poursuing still his design, he at last prevailed, and being admitted to her chamber by a back Garden-dore, he found her a bed, and in a fit posture to receive him; so unbracing himself to go to her, and having put off his doublet, she told him smilingly, Do you know whom you may thank most for this courtesy? It is my husband, who▪ after the late Treatment you had, fell a long time into such high commendations of you, that I never heard him speak so nobly of any: The Marquis being put to a sudden stand hereby, and struck with a kind of astonishment, put on his doublet again and his cloak, saying, Shall I abuse so worthy a friend, and such noble affections? No, I will die first; So taking his leave of the Lady in civil and thankful posture, he departed the same way he was let in, and never attempted her again.  Fox. 
Truly it cannot be denied, but this was a most signal example of continence, and no less of gratitude, to restrain himself so in the height of such a lust.  Pererius. 
Well, will you conform yourself to my advice, and turn Man, and Merchant, to converse again with such a noble Nation, a Nation that may prescribe rules of prudence and policy to all Mankind?  Fox. 
Sir, you speak of Policy, there is no true policy practised now adays in the world, it is degenerated together with the nature of man into subtlety and craft; If there be any left 'tis in Marcopolis, where there are the truest Patriots and most public Souls that I have known remaining amongst men, otherwise she had never been able to tug so long with the huge Tomanto Empire, and other the greatest Potentats, upon earth; Yet sometimes she hath used to sow such another Tail as mine to her Lion's skin, and proceed by craft as well as by strength; Now, though Policy and Craft agree in their Ends, yet they differ in the Means conducing to their Ends; The one proceeds by honourable and gallant manly ways to attain her ends, the other by dishonourable and base subdolous ways, she cares not what Oaths she swallows and breaks afterwards, she cares not what lies, fears, and jealousies she creates to amuse the silly vulgar, and thereby to incite them to Arms and Rebellion, for tearing the bowels of their own Country, and to lose all allegiance to their natural Prince; She makes no scruple or conscience to make Religion her Mantle to palliate all her designs, and by a horrid kind of profaneness and blasphemy to make God Almighty the Author of all Rebellions and Sedition: As was lately practised in Gheriona more than in any other Country that ever was under the cope of Heaven; And now there's a company of poor Sir politic Woodbies or Wiseacres, that would put a Cat's head upon a Lion's neck, they would make a petty Commonwealth such as that of Hydraulia, of that ancient spacious Monarchy with the Crowns thereunto annexed, Kingdoms which have lasted thousands of years without any Interregnums at all till now; And observable it is, that among other benefits (or plagues rather) which Gheriona hath received from Hydraulia for raising her first to a Commonwealth from obedience to her hereditary Prince, one is, that she hath poisoned Gheriona in her Policy as well as in her Religion; For now she hath the fate to have such Wise-askers in Government that can see afar off no farther than to the tips of their noses; They would take down the Royal Saddle, and clap a pair of Panniers on Gheriona's back, never looking forward what will follow, viz. an everlasting War; Nor do they fall to any account what a disparagement it will be, that so large and noble a Kingdom should be cast into so petty a mould as that of Hydraulia, who is above thirty times inferior to Gheriona in extent of Territory, and more than forty times in point of Plenty.  Pererius. 
It is a clear truth what you affirm, that true Policy is much sophisticated in this latter age, and touching the hints you give of Gheriona in point of Government, and the present designs that are afoot to transverse it, I know to Country full well; It may be a feasable thing to turn the great City Polihaima to a kind of Commonwealth, for she hath smelled a great while of a Hans in regard of her many Corporations, which may be said to be petty Republics of themselves; but for Gheriona herself, it will be a hard confused task to reduce her to such a Government, it being incompatible both with the Genius of the Peeple, the Posture of the Country, and Political Constitutions established there for so many Ages; They who make inspections into the influxes and virtue of Heavenly Bodies, find, that Mars is the Planet predominant over Gheriona, and 'tis observed, that where he predominats, that Clime and Country is fit for no other Government than Monarchal; Whereas those Countries where the Moon is predominant, as Marcopolis and others, are naturally fittest to be made Republics; Therefore let those men, who have now the vogue of Power and Counsel in Gheriona, beat their brains never so much, let them screw up their wits, and stretch all the policy they have as far as possibly they can, yet they will never be able to constitute a lasting durable Government, or settle a firm and general Peace without a King, that kind of Supreme Officer is congenial with the Nation itself, which will never be fixed till then; Therefore, as I said before, let those men who are now upon the Stage of Power, wind up their wits as high as they can, without this they will be still at a loss, their consultations will be like a skein of ravelled silk, they will be in a labyrinth of confusions, and the end of one will be still the beginning of another.  
Now, there is no Art so incertain, so subject to difficulties, as the Art for Man to rule Man; There be many poor Sciolists in Gheriona, who of late years have shot at rovers in prescribing Rules of Government, they take the ashes of the judaical, the Greek, and Roman Commonwealths to apply them to the present times, whereas those Nations were of another temper, of other Religions, and consequently of other kind of Intellectuals, and differing Ideas to the present Age; They should rather produce examples from Gheriona's own Historians, which would be far more suitable; But go to the chiefest Politians, Ancient or Modern, that ever writ of Governments, you will find all their opinions concentre in this point, That there is no Government which hath a nearer analogy with that of Heaven, that is more lasting upon earth, that is more regular, or that hath any certain principles, but Monarchy; That great Chairman or Grandee among Philosophers, Aristotle, in his Politics, upon which there is such a world of Comments, speaks of sundry species of Governments, as Aristocracy, Democracy, Oligarchy, and Stratocracy, but he puts no Rules for any, only he hath this assertion, that Aristocracy or Optimacy allows no Artificer or Mechanic to be a Citizen or Counsellor; Much of his discourse is of the first Founders of Commonwealths, than he proceeds to correct the errors of Commonwealths, before he tells us what a Commonwealth is; Moreover, in handling the kinds of Government in general, he flies forward and backward in a disorderly way, but when he descends to particular forms, he is full, not only of confusion, but contradictions and inconstancies to himself; In some places he seems to deny any natural Right, much more any Majesty to be in the People, whom he holds to be little inferior to Beasts; Whereas elsewhere he affordeth a liberty to every City to set up what Government they please, either by Force or Craft, which in effect is to allow the Peeple to do what they list, if they be able. Now this high-reaching Philosopher cannot much be censured for roving up and down in so incertain a subject, it being impossible for any human brain to prescribe any infallible universal Rules for Government, that may quadrat with the nature of all Climes and Seasons, and be appliable to the humours of all Peeple; Other Sciences have Demonstrations, and undeniable Principles, but the Art of Government hath no such Maxims, in regard of a thousand sort of contingencies that attend human negotiations, as also for the various dispositions of people, some Nations are so fiery mouthed, that they must be rid with a Bit, if not with a Curb and Martingale, but a small Bridle will serve others, nor are the same Constitutions fit for a Continent that are proper for an Island, nor those of a Maritime Continent fit for a Mediterranean Country, who know not what salt-water is.  Fox. 
Touching those modern Smatterers in Policy you speak of, the times abound with such, such that while they take upon them to give Precepts for Government, they amuse the Reader with universals, (and commonly there is deceit in universals) or rather they lead him to a labyrinth of distinctions, whereby they render the Art of mastering Man to be more difficult and distracted, than it is in its own nature; But, under favour, the main cause that there are such difficulties and incertitudes in prescribing general Rules to govern the Human Creture, is the perturbances of his mind, his variety of humours, his seditious disposition, his inconstancies, and an itching still after innovations; And herein we Irrational Animals are more obedient, more gentle and docile; But touching the policy you mention, there be some certain Maxims that may extend to the whole mass of Mankind in point of Government; One is, That the common people be kept still in such an awe, that they may not have any power to rise up in Arms, or be sharers in the Government, and so be their own Caterers to choose what Laws they please; Secondly, That there be a visible standing effectif military strength still in being, to keep them in such an awe, as well to curb them as to conserve them; It being the greatest Soloecism that can be in Government to rely merely upon the affections of the Peeple, in regard there is not such a wavering windy thing, not such an humorsom crosse-grained Animal as the common Peeple, there is not such a Tyrant in the world if once he get on Horseback; And all Authors that have pretended any thing to policy, either old or new, affirm so much in their Writings; If the Governor in chief hath not such a constant visible Power, and movable upon all occasions, the common Peeple will use him as the Frogs in the Fable used the Log of wood whom jupiter, at their importunity, had dropped down among them for their King, to whom they stood a while in some awe and dread, but afterwards finding no motion in him, they leapt and skipped upon him in contempt and derision; There is another certain principle of policy, That public Traitors and Rebels to their Prince and Country should be dispatched to the other world without mercy, for if they be but half punished, they will like Snakes get and cling together again, therefore 'tis a good rule, and that may be a proverb hereafter, 
A Rebel and mad Dog knock in the head,  
They will not bite when they are dead.   Pererius. 
Had you not told me before, yet I should have judged you a Saturnian by the wisdom of your Discourse, your Compatriots being accounted the prudentest men upon earth, for whereas others are said to be wise after the Act, others in the Act, you are said to be wise before, in, and after the Act; Moreover, whereas the Artonian is said to be wiser than he seems to be, the Tumontian not to be so wise as he seems, the Saturnian is wise, and seems to be so; Therefore will you return to that noble Country, and become Man and Merchant again? of which profession there are Princes in your Country, you well know.  Fox. 
There are so, yet I enjoy myself more contentedly in this shape and species, I have now a more constant health, and if I find myself illish at any time, which is seldom, I eat a little of the gumm of that Pinetree and it cures me; But I am nothing so subject to distempers of body or mind in this condition. Touching the first, when Nature hath finished her course in me, I will leave it for a Legacy to my friends, for 'tis good and medicinal for many uses, my Brain is good against the Falling-sickness; my Blood against the Stone, and the Cramp; my Gall instilled with Oil takes away the pain in the ears; my Tongue worn in a chain is good for all diseases in the Eyes; my Fat healeth the Alopecia, or falling off of the hair; my Lights, Liver, and Genitals are good against the Spleen; my very Dung pounded with Vinegar is a certain cure against the Leprosy; my Milt is good against Tumours; and touching my Skin, which is so much valued by the fairest Beauties, I will bequeath it to the admired Queen Morphandra to make her a Muff, as a small Heriot for her protection of me under her Dominion.   

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The Seventh Section.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Boar, wherein there are various Discourses, and particularly of the rare Sympathetic Powder that is lately found out, which works sudden and certain Cures without any topical application of Medicines to the part affected, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Boar. Morphandra. 
HOw came you off from that cunning Merchant you dealt withal last? hath he accepted of the Bill of Exchange you presented unto him?  Pererius. 
Truly, Madam, I may say, according to the homely proverb, that I have received a flapp with a Fox tail, he hath played the cunning Sophister with me, he hath protested against that Bill of Exchange, nor will he upon any terms resume his former shape, but retain that which he hath, alleging that he is now free from those stings of conscience, from those corroding black jealousies, from that vindicatif humour whereunto Mankind is subject, specially those of his Nation, with other molestations of mind; He saith, that in this feature he is also more healthful; He brags likewise how many medicinal virtues are in his body after its dissolution from the sensitive soul, and how much his skin is valued amongst the fairest Ladies, which he intends to bequeath as a Legacy to your Majesty to make you Muffs of when he hath paid Nature the last debt; And truly, Madam, by his acute answers and replies, I found that he had the full use of the faculty of human Reason, though appearing in that brutish shape, which makes me more and more admire your power.  Morphandra. 
This power the great Architect of the world hath given me, I derive this prerogative merely from Him, not, as I intimated to you before, from any compact or consultation with ill Spirits, although the flat and shallow-braind vulgar think I do it so, by Magical and Negromantic means.  Pererius. 
I know full well, Madam, the ignorance, or rather insulsity of the common people to be such, that when they find any extraordinary effects produced, transcending the ordinary course of nature, they are presently struck with such an admiration, that they think those effects to be done by the work of the Devil, though they are operated by strength of Art, and by connexion of natural Agents and Patients properly applied, as of late years there is found out a Sympathetic cure of wounds at a distance, without any real application of medicines to the part affected, which kind of sanation they hold to be made by some diabolical compact, though reverà 'tis performed by such ways that do truly agree with the due course of nature, by which she constantly works.  Morphandra. 
I pray be pleased to impart unto me the mode and manner of that kind of cure, for though it be not Magical, it must needs be a great mysterious thing.  Pererius. 
Madame, I shall most willingly comply with your commands herein; Touching the Sympathetic Powder or Medicine itself, It is made of a Zaphyrian azurd salt, calcind by Solar fire into a Lunar complexion, operating principally when the Sun is in the two celestial Signs of Leo and Cancer; But, Madam, before I can make the thing truly understood, I must lay down some universal Laws or Maxims of nature; First, it is true without control, that all actions and motions are performed by Atoms or small invisible bodies, moving to and fro after a different manner proportionable to their several figures, all natural things operat thus, and not by I know not what Qualities or Accidents, which have only a notional subsistence, and no real being but as they inhaere in the substance; Secondly, there is a perpetual constant expiration of such Atoms from all natural bodies, caused by a compression of other circumambient and neighbouring bodies, driving the parts closer together, or else by the motion of other Atoms crowding into the foraminous parts of that body, interrupting as it were the quietude of the former inmates, and thrusting them out to wander in the air till they meet with some other body where they may get rest; This effluvium or emanation of Atoms by help of autopticall Glasses, have been sensibly discerned to flow from the Loadstone and other bodies, whose pores are more plentiful, in form of a kind of mist; In bodies that are actually hot this atomical expiration is sensibly perceptible by the smell, specially to cretures of an acuter sense, for the Atoms hover in the circumambient air, or upon the ground, are sure guides to the Greyhound while he poursues the Chase, as if the hunted creature were continually in his sight; These expiring Atoms are also as sensibly discovered by weight, it being experimentally found, that those jockeys who use to run Horse-races can make themselves lighter by many pounds weight in a day or two, which proceeds by this insensible emission of Atoms; Secondly, it is to be observed, that these atomical bodies are not of one figure, nor of one grossness or magnitude, some being so slender and subtle that they admit of no opposition, but continue their course through all Mediums, and whatever may be seen to stop them in their journey cannot be discerned but by their effects, such are the contagious Atoms of bodies infected with the Pest, or other taking-diseases, which are not only imparted to others by lurking in the Visitant's clothes, but being scattered in the air are transported to remote places and persons, on whom they exercise their tyranny, not discovered till they break out into open violence; Other Atoms are grosser, and cannot so easily pass by, but are driven back, and forced from their intended voyage, and sometimes driven into the pory parts of other bodies against their wills; Such Atoms are apprehended by our senses, as heat, cold, colour, smells, putrefactions, etc. which use to move more slowly than others; Some are so corpulent and strong that they remove fixed and solid bodies out of their stations, as the Wind, and many others, that are driven to and fro by the impetuosity thereof, and forced thereby to change their places; These Atoms are in a manner so palpable, that we must needs confess their real Being and activity; Thirdly, it is another undeniable truth, that all bodies desire rest, and would still dwell in their own proper stations if they were not ejected by an intruder, for Rest is the appetite of all natural bodies, because 'tis the mother of union; Now, there are some places more fit than others for the receiving and retaining of the said Atoms, wherein they may lodge more conveniently, and acquiesce a longer time, this proceeds from the fashion and form of the pores wherein they are intromitted, which are proportionable and more agreeing with the figures of the Atoms which are of divers shapes, for some are angular, some cylindrical, some are branched, some smooth, others are sharp and rough; There are in most bodies pores agreeable to these various figures, insomuch that every natural body is apt and ready to admit such Atoms that are cognate and proportionable to their pores, and to exclude others; Now no Atoms acquiesce any where but in such proportionat pores, they may be driven into other bodies, or they may accompany other Atoms into pores that do not exactly quadrat with their figures, but cannot take any long repose there, being still extruded by those that do better fill the place, and correspond with the capacity and proportion of those pores, whence ariseth a natural propension and tendency towards those bodies where such pores are found; Nor can those Atoms which are not suitable to the pores wherein they are, stay there quietly, but they are still dislodged and sholdered out, or pressed to give room to those Atoms whose figures challenge a right to those pores; Insomuch that it may be said, there is a kind of perpetual war 'twixt those Atoms that are proportionat and proper to the pores they are lodged in, and those which usurp them; For to have perfect rest in a place, and to claim a natural right unto it, there must be a cognation 'twixt the atom and the poor which may be called Sympathy, such as are all magnetical and attractive motions; Fourthly, no distance hinders the motion of these Atoms towards their natural cognate places, towards which they are perpetually travelling, and the nearer they approach to their desired home, the swifter their motion is, and the less resistance they find in their journey.  
These prolegomena or general notions being premised, I come now to the operative virtue of the Sympathetic Powder, which, as I described it before, is made of a Zaphyrian salt, calcind by a celestial fire, operating in Leo and Cancer into a Lunar complexion (as the learned Doctor H. hath it, who discourseth like a true Phoilosopher of these notions) The heat here of must be such, that it may draw out all adventitious moystur, leaving it intensely dry, and in this condition it must be kept, for if it chance to meet with any humidity it loseth its energy, and must to the aetnereall furnace again; It must be also but a competent heat, for by excess of heat all the volatile parts and finest atoms which only work the cure, will be evaporated, and only the grosser saline parts remain, which neither can be raised to accompany the atoms of the extravenated blood, nor if they could would they cure, but by their sharper angles grate the orifices of the capillary veins, and so procure an efflux of blood, and not a consolidation of the wound.  Morphandra. 
Noble Prince, these are high Philosophical Notions that you discourse of, but now that you have spoken of the substance of this rare Medicament, how must it be applied?  Pererius. 
The manner of applying it is in this manner, The blood or bloody matter being taken from the wound on a cloth, or remaining still on the wounding instrument, must be lightly covered over with this powder, kept very dry, and afterwards wrapped up close from the air, and so preserved in a temperate heat, it must also be kept clean, and closed up with neat linen to fence it from cold, for cold hinders the expiration and breathing forth of the balsamical Atoms, which should drain forth the superfluous humidity, and restrain the efflux of blood; Now, the greatest rareness of this Sympathetic Powder is, that by a virtual contact it heals at a distance by the intercourse of the Atoms proceeding from the extravenated blood of the Patient, which Atoms like so many little spirits glide through the air, and never rest till they come to their desired home, where being gladly entertained, they find an easy entrance at the cognate parts, and proportionat pores of the wound; Being admitted there they fall to work, and first, they dilate the superfluous humid parts, and make them fit to be expelled, then by their more than ordinary restrictive power they shrink together the pores, and squeezing out that noxious corrupt humidity, glue together the disunited parts, and so cicatrize and cure: And truly, Madam, I could produce divers pregnant examples of those that were healed by the atomical energy of this Sympathetic powder, but I desire one may serve for all; There was a knowing Captain who made often use of it, and two of his Officers having drawn blood one of another in a Duel, he got their bloodied Swords and applied his balsamical Powder, so in less than 24 hours they were almost cured; But the Captain understanding that their animosities were such, that they were resolved to fight again, he hung the balsamed bloodied Swords out at his window all night, so coming the next morning to visit his Patients, they told him that they were in cruel pain all night long; And so you shall be still, quoth the Captain, until you be perfect friends, for I hear that you will fight again; So having made them shake hands, and perfectly reconciled them, he cured both in a very short time.  Morphandra. 
I acknowledge it a singular favour, most gallant Prince, that you have made me understand this great Secret, and the natural causes thereof, though the common people, who use to condemn all they understand not, and whereunto their short capacities cannot reach, for Magical. But, if you persist in your desires to convert any of these metamorphosed Animals, and proceed further in your attempts, I spy amongst those Trees a Boar who was once an Aetonian Count, whom for his deboshments and intemperancies I transmuted to that shape; you may try what you can do upon him.  Pererius. 
I will, by the continuance of your noble favour, make towards him; Miserable metamorphosed creature! how much do I resent the condition you are now in in comparison of the former! for I understand by Queen Morphandra that you were before not only a Man, but a personage of high account in Aetonia, that masculine and generous brave Country, which is so full of large flourishing Provinces, of opulent fair Cities and famous Marts, so full of magnificent Palaces, of Mines of Treasure, of fruitful Orchards, of fragrant Gardens and fat Fields, of navigable Rivers; so full of illustrious Families that can extract their pedigrees thousands of years past; so full of great Princes, wherewith Aetonia may be said to shine as the Firmament with coruscant Stars, and the Septemvirat of Caesarean Electors are as the seven Planets; Are you contented to return to so gallant a Country, to resume the figure of that noble personage you represented when you were Man, and live again under Caesar the Prince paramount of all others? If you have a disposition to it, Queen Morphandra hath promised me to transmute you, and I have an accommodation for your transport; Therefore will you shake off that wild savage shape, and become Man again?  Boar. 
Savage! Truly, Sir, I think Man is far more savage and cruel, for the wildest of our Species will not strike at Man till Man hath begun first with him, and wounded him, and all Huntsmen will tell you so; But I could produce many horrid examples of the cruelty and true culency of Man, and of my quondam Conterraneans in particular, but let this serve for all; It chanced there was one that bore malice to a woman great with child, he watching his opportunity found her alone spinning in her house, he first cuts her throat, then ripps up her womb, takes out the Embryo and carries it to the backside where there was a Sow ready to Farrow, he kills also the Sow, rips up her belly, and taking out the pigs, puts the child of the murdered woman in their room, than he took the pigs and puts them in the woman's belly, and so sowed it up, proh scelus.  
Touching the high Encomiums you give of Aetonia, 'tis true, that she was in former times a gallant piece of the Continent, but now she is pitifully impaired and degenerated from what she was; There was a Count there who proved most unfortunat, both to his own Country and to himself, who aiming at a Crown made war against Caesar, to whom he owed allegiance; And to abett his cause he brought in foreign Princes for his Confederates, and so kindled a destructive lingering War in the bowels of his own Country, which for thirty years together did so harasse her, that to this day she is scarce come to herself; Among others, he introduced a hungry Northern King who did her a world of mischief, whose Successor keeps firm footing there still, and whiles the Cuprinian hath an acre of land in Aetonia, she will never be in a durable secure peace; Touching the multitude of illustrious Families that are in Aetonia, most of them may be said to be but mongrel Princes, for in the forenoon they are ecclesiastics, (having raised themselves out of the ruins of the Church) and in the afternoon they are Laics and Seculars; Now, those variety of Princes are rather a weakness then a strength to Aetonia, as may be inferred out of that witty Emblem which the Tomanto Emperor's Ambassadors made, being present at the election of one of the Aetonian Caesars, who observing what great Princes attended him that day, whereof he was told that some of them could raise an Army of themselves if need required; The Ambassador smilingly said, That he doubted not of the puissance of Aetonia, but it might be said, that the Minds, Counsels, and Actions of the Aetonians were like a great Beast with many Heads and Tails, who being in case of necessity to pass through a hedge, and every Head seeking to find a several hole to get through, they were a hindrance one to the other, every Head drawing after his own fancy, and so hazarded the destruction of all the Heads and Tails; But the Tomanto Empire was like a Beast that had multitude of Tails, but one Head that governed all the Body, which Head being to get through any passage, all the Tails follow him in an exact obedience without any confusion of differing fancies or clashing of opinions.  
Touching that Caesar you speak of, whom you would make Prince Paramount of all others in point of Majesty and Might, it cannot be denied but that the Imperial Eagle, when he was at the highest pitch of power, might be said to have spread his Wings overall the then habitable Earth, he fixed his Talons upon the banks of Euphrates Eastward, upon the Nile Southward, and he had all the known Western world within his pounces; His annual Revenues were then computed at a hundred and fifty Millions, whereof the Salary of the Legionary Soldiers amounted to twenty Millions; But that glorious Empire, that mighty Giantess, is now shrunk up and shriveled into a Pigmey's skin, insomuch that the present Caesar may be said to have only one of the old Eagles' feathers in his cap: He who was used to make the greatest Potentats pay homage unto him, is now used to be baffled by every petty Companion.  Pererius. 
Such is the pleasure of the All-ruling Providence, with whom the greatest Kingdoms upon Earth are but as so many kettle-pins, which he tips down when he pleases, 'tis He who transvolves Empires, tumbles down Monarchies, and cantonizeth them into petty Commonwealths, whereunto the Philosopher seemed to allude, when being asked what jupiter did in Heaven, he answered, Magnas Ollas frangit, & ex frustis earum parvulas componit, He breaks great Pots, and of their fragments makes little pitchers; This shows the brittleness, the lubricity, and unfixednes of all sublunary things, as well Political as Natural, so that to find out a true stability and permanence, we must travel beyond Trismegistus' Circle, and seek it in the other world: But let not this alienat your affections to visit again your own Country in human shape, and return to your Religion, whereby when this mortal life is ended you may gain Eternity.  Boar. 
Religion I truly there's scarce any left in Aetonia, for since the time of Therlu, who being fallen into a lustful love with an Abadesse, unfrocked himself, and made Religion his Macarell to enjoy her; I say, since that time, the Artonian fancy was never so greedy after new fashions in Apparel, as the Aetonians high and low do daily thirst after new-fangled opinions in matters of Religion, both in point of Doctrine and Discipline.  
Add hereunto, that there is a bosom peculiar vice Aetonia is addicted unto, which is Intemperance, wherewith she hath infected most of her neighbours; The Hydraulian can tell you, that the immoderate use of drink came tumbling down upon her from Aetonia like a huge, and a furious rapid Torrent, whence it found passage over with wind in poop to Gheriona (and her subordinat Kingdoms) which is as good at it being of an Aetonian race originally, and therefore apt to imitat; Nay, as they say, as the Gherionian is good Inventis addere, to improve any new thing, so they go beyond the Aetonians herein, for whereas they use to pelt the brain with small shot, the Gherionian doth storm it with great Cannons, and huge carouses, for he, when he is at it, doth not sip and drink by halfs, or demur upon it by pauses, as the Aetonian doth, or by eating some salt quelque choose between, but he deals in sheer liquor, and is quickly at the bottom of his cup without any intervening talk; Yet the Aetonian carrieth still the report to a Proverb: Hereupon they use to characterise the Aetonian to be an Animal that can drink more than he can carry, and who useth to barrel up more than he can broach in point of knowledge, because commonly he useth to have in him more than he can utter.  Pererius. 
It seems very strange to me that you should thus vilify your own Country, and traduce so goodly and high-built a Nation as the Aetonian is.  Boar. 
'Tis true, they are bulky & built high enough, but it is observed, that tall men are like fabriques' four or five stories high, where the garret or upper room is worst furnished, you may guess at my meaning; Moreover, magnitude is not the measure of worth, If the Aetonians wit and valour had been suitable to their outward bulks, the Tomanto Emperor had not carried away so many Territories from them, which mighty Emperor hath grown so powerful by the Divisions, and so fortunate by the Vices of Aetonia.  Pererius. 
Come, come, shake off those hispid staring bristles, and fordid skin, that useth to tumble in sloughs and mire, and return to your own noble Country, your Kindred, and that high Quality you were of formerly, for in the condition you now stand, you are, like our base Misers, good for nothing till you are dead.  Boar. 
It is a great truth, and when we are dead there's nothing that's bad in us but our Excrements, which also though, in regard of the sharpness thereof, they be not good for compost to fertilise the Earth, yet they are found good for divers sorts of Trees, as the Pomegranate and the Almond Trees, as also for divers sorts of Apple Trees to free them from worms: Our blood being so full of fibres is excellent good against Carbuncles, our brains are good against the biting of Serpents; our lard with wonderful celerity makes firm broken bones; the ashes of our cheekbone are good against Ulcers; the liver of a Boar is good against the biting of a mad Dog, and drowsiness of spirit; the gall of a Boar mingled with rosin and honey, is passing good against Ulcers, the Testicles good against the falling-sickness; the hoofs of a boar made powder is good against the stopping of the urine; a plaster made of Boar's dung is good against all venomous bitings, as also against the pain in the spleen, or the Sciatica; the ankle of a boar worn about the neck is good against quartan Agues: Moreover 'tis found true by frequent experiments, that the milk of a Sow in sweet wine is good to help women in travel, and restores milk in their paps, 'tis good also against the bloody flix, and the phthisic; Amber sodd in Boar's grease receives nitor, and beauty: Now, all these virtues proceed from our Bodies, because we have not so much corruption within us as Man; Our food also being more simple and fresh, and our appetites more regular; So, Sir, I bid you farewell, for I am going to herb it among that tuft of Trees.   

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The Eighth Section.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Wolf, who had been a Cuprinian Soldier, whom for his Plunderings, Rapines, and Spoils, she transfigured to that shape.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Wolf. Morphandra. 
HOw did you bear up with that Boar? could you not get him into the toil, and make him turn Man again?  Pererius. 
Truly no, he did in a manner grind his razers and tusks, and extremely froam at his own Countrymen, taxing them of divers vices; He pricked up his bristles like a Porcupine, as if he would have darted them; So I left him at a Bay.  Morphandra. 
I spy another transmuted Animal in that Thicket, it is a Wolf, who was once a Soldier of Fortune, and a Cuprinian Free-booter, you may try whether you can take him by the ears, for you will find him tame enough.  Pererius. 
I have leave from gracious Queen Morphandra to confer with you, and know whether you have an inclination to return to your Country and Calling again; If you have, she is ready to unlycanthropize you from this Wolfish shape to your former condition.  Wolf. 
Touching my Country and Calling they are both alike, they are both naught, therefore I have no affection to either; For the first, 'tis a pitiful cold and course Country, being so remote from the Sun, which made a generous Queen lately to leave both Crown and Country; Touching the second, 'tis a profession for the devil, to be hired for about three shillings a week to kill men; I was once of that Calling, and I with my Comrades did a world of mischief to the poor Boors up and down the Country, therefore it was very just that Queen Morphandra should transform me to this shape.  Pererius. 
Yet you know, that the profession of Arms is noble, for every Soldier is a Gentleman by his profession; And touching the coldness of your Clime, it puts mettle and the more vigour in the Combatant, for they say that a Cuprinian fights best when he sees his own breath, which is in frosty weather; You know also what great achievements and exploits your two last Kings have done, to their eternal glory, and the renown of your Country.  Wolf. 
'Tis true, the last two Kings have done some feats of Chivalry, yet the world took them to be but Usurpers; Touching the first, he was killed in the midst of his manhood, whereby Caesar against whom he warred got a full revenge of him; And for the present King, the world wonders that it was not sufficient for him to enjoy quietly the Kingdom of Cuprinia, which belongs by right to Nopolia, but he must make war against that King, to whom he should the jure owe allegiance; And had he conquered Nopolia, his ambition had not terminated there, but he haply had visited Saturnia, and so, as the Goths and Vandals of old, he had troubled the repose of all the Western world; But as far as he hath gone, what miserable devastations hath he made? how hath he ruined the flourishing Trade of those Countries, which are so full of great Mercantile Towns both upon fresh and salted waters, so full of useful and necessary commodities? And had he completed his Zundanian design, he had given Law to all the Occidental Princes, which Hydraulia sagaciously smelled out, and so timely prevented him.  Pererius. 
And have not you a natural desire rather to be again one of that warlike and adventurous Nation, than to continu in this hateful and rapacious nature?  Wolf. 
Truly I may be said to be of as rapacious a nature when I was a Cuprinian, for he is used to pick any quarrel with those that are weaker than himself, of purpose to devour them; As I remember to have read of the Wolf in the Fable, who finding a young Lamb, and intending to devour him, fell a coining of reasons why he would do it, and so told him, that he and his generation had done him wrong from time to time: Helas, said the Lamb, how could that be? for I am but newly come into the world; I but, quoth the Wolf, you eat up my grass; The Lamb replied, How can that be, Sir? for I have yet no teeth in my head; I but you drink up my water, quoth the Wolf again; That cannot be neither, Sir, said the Lamb, for I never knew what water is hitherto, in regard I feed altogether upon my mother's milk; 'Tis not your reasons, replied the Wolf again, can confute my appetit, for I mean to sup plentifully this night, and so devoured him. But the same fate may attend the Cuprinian King as befell the Wolf-fish, who living in a River where all the fish were lesser than himself, they all admired, honoured, and feared him, as if he had been their King; He thinking to enlarge his Dominions, thought to go to the Sea to be King there, but meeting with the Dolphin in his way he was presently devoured; Or as Aesop's Dog, passing by a River with a good piece of flesh in his mouth, and the shadow of the flesh appearing in the water, he snapped at it thinking it had been real flesh, and so lost that which he had in his mouth; So the Cuprinian King may hap to lose his own Territories, while he thinks to devour others.  Pererius. 
Well, well, will you shake off that ugly shape, and put on Man again, and go along with me towards your own Country?  Wolf. 
Truly no, for I have tried both natures, and find this to be far better, for I have now no airy aspiring desires in me, no ambitious thoughts, or other perturbances and inquietudes of mind; Moreover, I find this shape of body to be far more healthful, nor is this species less honourable; A Wolf was the Crest of the first Arms of Rome, in regard the King who traced the foundation of that glorious City, and denominated her after his own name, was nursed up miraculously by a Wolf; There have been many famous men of that name, as Lupus Fulvius a Roman Poet, Lupus Servatus a memorable Priest, and Lupus de Oliveto a Saintlike Monk; There is a kind of Holiness also in this species, for they never engender but in the twelve days of Christmas; There is likewise a mysterious quality in this species; for if a Wolf sees a man first, the man grows hoarse; If the tail of a Wolf be hung in the Cratch of Oxen, they cannot eat; If a Horse treads in the footsteps of a Wolf, he cleaves fast as if he were frozen; Nay, if a Mare big with Foal tread in the place where a Wolf had trodden, it causeth abortion, and will make her presently to cast her Foal; Lastly, strings made of Wolf's guts have that predominance in Music, that if they be put among other strings, there will never be any Consort.   

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The Ninth Section.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Goat, consisting of many acquaint Discourses both Natural and Metaphysical, with other Criticisms, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, and a Goat. Pererius. 
Madam, I could not take that Wolf by the ears to lead him home to his own Country, which he bitterly inveighs against; and against the humour of the people, as also against his former profession of a Soldier, tacitly intimating, that War is the chiefest seminary of Thiefs, according to the proverb, La guerre fait les larrons, & la paix les ameine au gibbet, War makes the Thief, and peace brings him to the gallows; Therefore he prefers rather to pass his life peaceably under your Government, than to be in Cuprinia, where of late years' men are so pressed for the Wars to serve the ambition of their Kings, that the whole Country is so drained, that there's scarce any left but women, old men, and children; Therefore he is very well pleased with this lycanthropy.  
But, Madam, I spy a bearded Animal nibbling upon the brow of that crag, I desire by your favour to have some discourse with him, for by his long beard he should have been some Philosopher, and so have more wit in him than other animals.  Morphandra. 
You shall very willingly, but I will tell you what he was before; He was an Orosian born, and I transformed him to that shape for being a Mountaineer, and for having aspiring thoughts, with other reasons.  Pererius. 
I'll go and accost him; Sir, will you please to come down hither into the plain, for I have very good news to impart unto you that will make you skip for joy.  Goat. 
I pray excuse me, it is against my nature to descend, if I did, I should haply prove more foolish than the Goat in the Fable, who being invited and persuaded by the fair speeches of the Lion to come down and feed in the meadow where he was, being come down the hungry Lion devoured him presently.  Pererius. 
You need not apprehend any such fears here, but I will come to you; Queen Morphandra tells me, that you were an Orosian born, a very ancient and noble Nation; Have you a disposition to return thither, to resume the shape of Man, and to be again the child of Reason?  Goat. 
What do you mean by Reason? I think the shape and species I now am in are capable of Reason, for we can distinguish 'twixt good and bad, 'twixt what is noxious or profitable for us, we have also the same organs, the same cells and receptacles in the brain as man hath for to lodge Reason, and the celestial bodies pour the same influences upon us as they use to do upon the human Creture.  Pererius. 
It cannot be denied but you have an Instinct that acts according to Reason, and it may be called Instinctive Reason; But the Reason that Beasts have is limited to corporeal objects, to the necessities only of life, to find out food and shelter, and bring up their young ones, it's only direct Reason that's capable of Singulars, it's restrained to an opinionative faculty, it's a mere shadow of ours, much like the objects that our fancy represents to us in sleep; And this Instinct in Beasts is as much inferior to Reason in Man, as Reason in man is inferior to Intelligence and Intuitions in the blessed Angels.  Goat. 
Yet, Sir, it must be granted, that actions whose successes are so well ordered, actions which have so well regulated a progress, and concatenation so exactly tying the Mediums to the End, must needs be performed by the guidance and light of true Reason, and such actions you know sensitive cretures daily perform; With what art do Birds build their nests, the Fox his hole, the Badger his chamber, with what caution do they preserve their young ones, and fence them from the injury of the Heavens? how punctually do they keep their haunts? But what do you think of Pliny's Elephant repeating his Lesson at Moonshine, or of Ptolomey's Stagg that understood Greek, of Plutarch's Dog who could counterfeit the very convulsions of death, of the Ape that could play at Chess, and another that had learned some touches on the Guittern? What think you of Caligula's Horse who was made Consul? had not he Reason in him? What think you of the Ass, who being used to carry burdens of Salt over a Ford was used to stumble and fall constantly in such a place, that thereby the salt melting away into water his burden might be the lighter, but his Master lading him with a tadd of Wool, he fell at his usual place, but being helped up again, and he feeling the pack of wool heavier in regard of the water that got in, he never stumbled any more in the Ford after that time; What think you of the Crow, that in the time of a great drought finding water in the bottom of a barrel, and being fearful to go down, carried so many stones in her beak, that letting them fall down, they forced the water to rise upwards towards the top, and so she dranck safely and at ease? I pray were not all these not only Instinctive but Discursive Reasons?  Pererius. 
I confess that he who denies a kind of Reason and Reasoning also to brute Animals, may be questioned whether he be master of Reason himself, yet this Reason and Reasoning looks upon present and particular notions only; But human Reason extendeth to universal notions out of the reach of sense, which cannot be without abstractions, and some reflections it hath on itself, which Beasts cannot attain; This Reason that is conversant with universals is the true specifical difference 'twixt Man and Beasts; It is the portion and property of Man alone, whereby he hath the Sovereignty over all over his fellow-cretures throughout all the Elementary World; There is Intuitive, there is Discursive, and there is Instinctive Reason, the first is proper to Angels, the last to Brute Animals, and the second to Man, who can contemplate and discourse of generals and things absent; And these three differ in excellency as the three degrees of Comparison.  Goat. 
Yet though you excel us as you say in this kind of Reason, there's many of us that surpass you in strength and quickness of sense, as the Eagle in seeing, for he can look upon the Sun in the Meridian with full open eyes, and not be dazzled; the Hare can hear better, and the Dog goes far beyond you in smelling, as also the Stagg, therefore when he is removed from one Park to another, you use to muzzle him, and carry him in close Carts that he may not smell the way back again; And there be examples to admiration of this kind.  Pererius. 
Though some Beasts smelling be beyond ours in respect of celerity, and way of reception, yet in point of dijudication, & differencing the variety of smells which proceeds from the Rational Soul, we surpass them; Therefore though we cannot see as Eagles, nor hear as Hares, nor smell as well as Dogs, yet Hands, Speech, and Reason makes amends for all; The composition also of the body being Erect is advantageous, the cause of which Erection (after the beholding of Heaven) is the exercise Arts, which cannot be done in another figure; Man's body is likewise the most copious of organs, and though born naked, yet this nakedness cuts out work for Reason; It abounds also more with Animal spirits and heat, it hath long feet that the body might be more steady, and his head is built upward like a Castle or Watchtower in the upper Region.  Goat. 
This faculty of discursive Reason you glory of, that Man is endued withal, though in some respects it be a benefit unto him, and given as a recompense for his frailties, nakedness and weakness, yet in some kind it it may be said to be a disadvantage unto him, for it makes him subject to a thousand vexations of spirit, it fills him with inquisitive thoughts and scruples touching his salvation, it makes him a tyrant to himself by sundry sorts of perplexities and molestations of mind, for I have known it by experience, let the thread of a man's life be never so well spun, yet it cannot be without bracks and thrumbs: There is no creature so troublesome to himself as man, for as rust adheres naturally to Copper, so ill affections and obliquities adhere to human nature: Moreover, you, like us, are but rags of mortality, yet you are so vain in magnifying your own species, that you make Man the epitome and compliment of all created natures; Nay, some have profanely affirmed, that if all the Angels in Heaven had been a thousand years a forming man, they could not have made him in greater perfection, and yet when I seriously oftentimes did contemplate Man, and fell into a true account of his imbecilities, and that world of weaknesses which use to attend his body and mind, I have often cried out, Eheu nos miseri quam totus Homuncio nil est! What nomberles diseases is his frail body, which is the socket of his soul, subject unto? how short are his pleasures, and what black suds commonly they leave behind them? insomuch that they may be said to have wings and stings, for sadness succeeds his joys as punctually as night follows the day.  Pererius. 
Well, well, give over these Satirical excursions, and think on your dear Country, the healthfullest Country on earth.  Goat. 
It may well be said to be so, for of late years there were culled out within three miles' compass ten men that were a thousand years between them, one supplying what the other wanted of a hundred years apiece, and they danced the Morris divers hours together in the Marketplace, with a Taborer before them 103 years old, and a Maid Mariam 105. But Orosia is much degenerated from what she was by the Gherionian Sectaries, who have infected the Inhabitants with so many pseudodoxall and gingling opinions, which is the recompense she receives from Gheriona for converting her first from an Infidel to be a Christian, yet she hath the impudence lately as to call her Heathenish; Moreover, she twits her ever and anon with Leeks and Cheese, though both tend, the one to the commendation of the Nation, the other of the Country; For whereas the Orosian doth use to wear the first in his hat constantly upon such a day, it is to a commemorat the time that a famous Battle was fought, wherein other Nations that werein the Army ran away, but the Orosians stood to their ground, and got the day; Now, to signalise and distinguish themselves from the Fugitifs, they took Leeks in their caps which grew in a Garden hard by; Besides, 'tis known how one of the acutest Nations on earth adored the Leek as one of his gods: Touching the other, to have Cheese enough is the mark of a fruitful Country, and good pasture; This makes me tell you a facetious Epigram, 
To make a pure Orosian thirst for bliss,  
And daily say his prayers on his knees,  
Is to persuade Him that most certain 'tis  
The Moon is made of nothing but green Cheese,  
And then he'll ask of God no greater boon  
Than place in Heaven to feed upon the Moon.   
Now, during the late combustions in Gheriona, which were caused by a fatuous fire that took hold of some frantic spirits, 'tis well known that the Orosian stood firm both to his Prince and Principles, till he was o'repowered by multitudes.  Pererius. 
Well, will you put off that rammish and foetid carcase, and return to your first Principles of Nature, and I will safely conduct you towards your first home?  Goat. 
Rammish and foetid! As rammish and foetid as we are, we are of a far more wholesome constitution than Man, let the rare qualities which are in our bodies be judge; 'Tis known by daily experience how our blood hath such an energy in it that it can dissolve Diamonds, it also scoureth iron better than any file, and being fried and drunk with wine it cures the bloody-flix; The Loadstone rubbed with Garlic loseth its attractive virtue, but being dipped in Goat's milk it recovers: there's no creature hears more perfectly than a Goat, for he hath not only Ears, but an Acousticon Organ also in the throat: Our hair burnt driveth away Serpents, and cureth decayed genitals; The marrow of a Goat is singular good against Aches; The gall mixed with honey good to clear and fortify the sight; The very trindles drunk in wine are good against the Jaundice, and to stay Female-fluxes, as also gargarized good against old coughs; The fat sodden with Goat's dung is good if applied to the Gout; The butter of the fat of a male Goat is good for an old sore for Kibes, the King's-evil, and Felons, or mixed with honey or oil of Brambles 'tis good against deafness; The gall makes white hair grow on a horse; Goats milk is excellent against Consumptions, and you know how the famous Aegistus was nursed by that milk. To conclude, there's nothing within us or without us but it is cordial or medicinal; Our entrails, livers, ashes, horns, milt, spleen, urine, fine hairs, marrow, hoofs, gall, dung, suet, trindles, milk, and blood, etc.   

The Tenth Section.  
A Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Soland-Goose, a Carboncian born, who was transmuted to that shape for his foolishness in rebelling against his own Conterranean King, and so by juggling himself into a Slavery from that Free Government he was formerly under, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, a Goose. Morphandra. 
I Saw you in hot discourse a good while with that bearded Beast, how did you feel his pulse beat? will he return to live among those Mountains where he first breathed air, and put on his primitive nature again?  Pererius. 
Madame, I find he hath no list or lust at all to either, one of his reasons is, that the Gherionian his confining neighbour hath so intoxicated his Countrymen with such fond fanatic opinions, & made them deviat from their true service and allegiance, both to the King of Heaven, and to his Vicegerent their King upon Earth; He gave me also some acute reasons, both Moral and Metaphysical, why he would not turn Man again, alleging at last that the shape he now wears is far more sound and healthful, abounding more with natural heat, which makes his body, and all the parts thereof within and without, to have such medicinal virtues in them, whereas human carcases, though they had been Tabernacles to a far nobler Soul, are good for nothing when she parts with them but to feed and feast worms; Therefore truly, Madam, I am in half despair of prevailing with any of these metamorphosed Animals, they live so peaceably under your Dominions, and so contentedly in these shapes.  Morphandra. 
You have treated hitherto only with Terrestrial Creturs, try what you can do upon that Volatile, that sooty-cloured Soland-Goose, who was by the first institution of nature a Carboncian born, but had lived in great plenty and honour in the Gherionian Court, yet out of a crosse-grained foolish humour he kicked against his own King and Countryman, and so fell to be a slave to a new race of Governors, from being a freeborn Subject before.  Pererius. 
Poor Goose, you need not gaggle, nor fear any thing, for I bring you good tidings, and the best that possibly can befall you; Queen Morphandra by my mediation is pleased to retransfigure you to human shape, and let you go again to Carboncia, your native Soil and dear Country.  Goose. 
Truly, Sir, I have lost all affections to both, I am only out of conceit with the one, but I abhor the other, I had rather turn Cacodaemon than a Carboncian again; What a pitiful coors cold Clime is Carboncia? it hath neither the warm Sun nor God's blessing, it were a punishment for the worst people upon earth to be removed thither; Rather than I should return to Carboncia, my wishes shall be that of the Poet, 
Pone me pigris ubi nulla campis  
Arbour aestiva recreatur aurâ,  
Quod latus mundi, nebulae, malusque  
Jupiter urget.  
Let me to those black boggy Heaths repair  
Where Tree was ne'er refreshed by Vernal Air,  
That side of earth where Jove himself is bad,  
And with dark squalid Clouds goes always clad.   
Yet the Clime is good enough for the Inhabitants were it worse; They brag of a hundred and odd Kings, but of these Kings above the one half came to violent deaths, judge you then of the disposition of the Peeple; And for their two last Kings, they sold and sent away one to the fatal Block, and made a sacrifice of him to the Gherionian for a sum of money; And for the other, before they would Crown him their King, they proposed that he should acknowledge his Father a Tyrant, and his Mother an Idolatress, a thing so abhorring to Nature.  Pererius. 
I find you are extremely incensed against your own Country, and your Conterraneans, I pray what's the reason of this strange and violent aversion?  Goose. 
I told you partly before, but I will enlarge myself further, and deduce matter from their first rise; Carboncia and Gheriona were in a sweet and sound peace, with affluences of all felicities, when some Carboncian Soldiers of Fortune returned from the Cuprinian Wars richly laden with spoils, they came strutting into the Gherionian Court, the Aetonian plunder shining upon their backs in gold and silver lace; These military Commanders expecting to receive some honours from the Gherionian King for their services in Aetonia, though none of them had received any Commission from him, nor fought on his score; Others looking for some office at Court, and missing their aim that way, some of them went to Carboncia discontented, and fearing the stock they had got in the Cuprinian War would quickly consume, and having no other trade but fight, they fell to devise a way how to cast a bone 'twixt Gheriona and Carboncia, that they might have employment; Therefore they set on some prick-eared hot-pated Preachmen (who were in a kind of subjection unto them for their Stipends) to give out, That Gheriona was on her way to Antichrist again; thus the Pulpits did ring of invectives and calumnies against Gheriona's Church-Government; Yet all this while there was not matter enough for an actual Insurrection, or to fire the Beacons, till by wily artifices of some of the said discontented Great ones Gheriona's Liturgy was sent among them to be put in practice; This was cried up to be the gretest Idol that ever came to their Kirk, and so the common people in a furious unheard-of manner outraged those who read it; The King having notice hereof, sent a gracious Declaration, That whereas he had only commended unto them, not commanded that public form of divine Worship, wherein he himself did punctually and publicly twice a day perform his duty to Heaven, he did it out of a pious intention to beget an Uniformity as well as an Unanimity of public Devotion in all his Dominions, and as it was already practised in Gheriona and Hebrinia, so he desired it should be used also in That his Native Country; But since he understood it produced such tumultuous consequences, he was contented absolutely to revoke it, for it was never his intent to press the practice thereof upon any conscience, etc. Therefore he required that every one should return to his former obedience, offering an Amnestia for what had passed; But this would not serve the turn, for there was a further design in it, which was to destroy the Hierarchy, and so make havoc of the Patrimony of the Church; Hereupon the whole Country put itself in Arms, and so those Soldiers of Fortune spoken of before brought their work about, and got employment; For Soldiers in time of Peace are like Chimneys in Summer; They thought to rush into Gheriona with an Army, yet they gave it out to the world they came as Petitioners; So the Carboncian showed Subjects the way to present Petitions to their Souverain upon the Pikes point, to bring a Supplication in one hand, and a Sword in the other, or as one said, the Bible in the left, and the Blade in the other hand.  Pererius. 
This was an odious Rebellion in the highest degree, for Subjects to right themselves by Arms, and wage War with their own Sovurain Prince; It is very observable, that when God pleased to punish any of the Kings of Israel, he did not do it with the jews their own Subjects, but with the Philistines, and other foreign Nations, whence it may be strongly inferred, that it was never allowed by the Laws of God or Man, that Subjects should rise up in Arms against their lawful King.  Goose. 
Yet the Carboncian rushed thrice into Gheriona against their own native King (having thereby a greater share in him) in the compass of less than two years, and he was dismissed Fidler-like, with meat, drink, and money; Though in former times Gheriona was used to dismis the Carboncians (whensoever they infested her borders) with other kind of metals, viz. with good steel and iron in lieu of gold and silver.  Pererius. 
These were strange and uncouth hateful traverses, that a Nation should prove so perfidious to their own Prince, a Prince born in the bowels of their own Country, whose Father, besides Himself, had obliged and laden them with so many signal and singular favours; Therefore there was here a complication of many ugly things, there was Rebellion, there was Ingratitude, and unnaturalness, for had he been born elsewhere, I should not have so much wondered at it.  Goose. 
Nay, I will tell you more, when their said King had made a long tedious journey of 600 miles going and coming to visit them, he was so gracious, that they did but ask and have any thing; He gave amongst them those ancient Demeans that went to maintain the Mitre so many hundred years by the pious donation of Progenitors; He conferred honours abundantly upon them of all kinds, and did other wondrous acts of grace, for which the great Council in Gheriona use to give a supply of Treasure to their Sovurain by way of an humble correspondence, but he did all this to the Carboncian gratis; Yet they proved afterwards the gretest monsters of ingratitude that ever were, for they not only sided with his Gherionian Insurrectors against him, but when by cross successes and corrupt counsels he was brought to such an exigent, that he went away in a mean disguise to the Carboncian Army, they most basely for a sum of money delivered him over to the pleasure of his Gherionian enemies, who tormented him afterwards beyond expression by hurrying him from prison to prison, and chopped off his head at last.  Pererius. 
One would have thought, that the Carboncians would have valued it for a mighty honour, to have their own King in the height of his distrese to throw himself thus into their arms, and to put so rare a confidence in them; But who were the chiefest instruments in doing all this?  Goose. 
The unlucky Kirk-men, who as if they had been so many of the Devil's Chaplains, preached nothing but War, and against the receiving of the King in Carboncia in this his extremity; But there were never so many quick and apparent judgements fell upon any Nation as have tumbled one upon the neck of another in a few years upon this; First, there happened an outrageous Plague in their chief City, which in one year's compass sweped away the Inhabitants by thousands; What a huge number of Witches have been arraigned and executed? How many thousand Carboncians were bought and sold for slaves to be hurried over to furnish foreign Plantations? What numbers of them were starved, and some tumbled into their graves alive? How, while they thought to get into the upper-bed, they may be now said to lie upon hard mats on the flat ground, the truckle-bed they lay in afore being taken away from them; And truly it is fit they should still lie so low, it being the best policy Gheriona can use to keep that cold northern door bolted up, whence so many bleak hispid winds and tempests have broke out upon her.  Pererius. 
It is wholesome Policy indeed, if it be so as you say, to keep under such a crosse-grained and stubborn inconstant people.  Goose. 
I will yet go further, this Rebellion in Carboncia caused another in Hebrinia her neighbour, as one firebrand doth use to kindle another; Examples move, and make strong impressions upon the fancy, Precepts are not so powerful as Precedents to work upon human nature; The said example of the Carboncians did wonderfully operat upon the imagination of the Hebrinians, and filled them with thoughts of emulation, that they merited to have as good usage as the Carboncian, their Country being far more beneficial, and consequently more importing the Gherionians, whereof many thousands had made firm and plentiful fortunes in her; Add hereunto, that the Hebrinians had far more grievances than the Carboncians (who really had none at all) for they were threatened to be more pinched in the exercise of their Religion; There was new Plantations intended to be made there of Carboncians and Hydraulians; There was every day a scrutiny made of concealed Lands and dark defective Titles; There were new Imposts laid upon them; they remained incapable of any preferments in Church and State, whereas the Carboncians had Advancements and Offices every day in the Gherionian Court, and some of them admitted to sit at the Council-Table; These motifs impelled the Hebrinians also to rise up in Arms, hoping they might speed as well as the Carboncian, who obtained what he pleased; So they rise up to some purpose, for many cruentous and horrid Massacres happened on both sides, which took away hundreds of thousands; Now, all these things considered, will you have me return among the Carboncians again?  Pererius. 
My principal proposal unto you is to turn Man again, and the Globe of the Earth is large, you may live in what Country you please; You may plant yourself in Gheriona, a cheerful and plentiful Country, and so be nearer the Sun.  Goose. 
'Tis true, that Gheriona abounds with all things that Air, Earth, or Water can afford; But it may be said, that all things are good in her except one, which is that creature who speaks; It hath been an ancient saying all the world over, in nature of a proverb, That Gheriona is a good Country, but the Peeple are bad, insomuch that her King hath been called the King of Devils; If this hath been said of her now, in former times, much more may it be said of her now, most of the Nation being so much depraved and degenerated from what they were; Therefore if I were man again I would be loath to go thither; But to tell you truly, Sir, I am grown a true Misanthropos, a hater of men, I had rather continue in this shape then be Virbius again; In this shape I have far more variety of pleasure, I fish for my food in the Water, I sleep on Earth, and I solace myself in the Heavens, in the Airy Region where I am now to fly.   

The Eleventh Section.  
Consisting of a Dialog 'twixt Morphandra, Pererius, and a Hive of Bees, who had been once a Monastery of Nuns, and were transmuted to those small Infects, because that after a years Probation, and their own praevious free Election, they murmured at that Reclused Cloister life, and wished themselves uncloystered again, etc.  Morphandra, Pererius, a Bee. Morphandra. 
I Believe your persuasions could prevail little with that Volatile Creture, that Soland-Goose, in regard I observed how she took wing, and fluttered away from you in a kind of haste.  Pererius. 
Truly; Madam, I may say, that all this while according to the old proverb, I have been shooing of Goslings, I have spent my labour and breath to little purpose in order to my main design, yet I cannot deny but that I have gained a great deal of rare knowledge by communicating with these transmuted Animals, and truly they have made me better acquainted with myself, and with the state of Mankind in general; But for this last transformed thing, none of all the rest did brand his own Countrymen so bitterly: He lays to their charge originally all those fearful calamities, those horrid confusions, those cataracts of blood which fell of late years both in Hebrinia and Gheriona; And he said, that all that they have purchased thereby, is, to have fooled themselves into a perfect slavery, and to have brought themselves under an Iron Rod in lieu of that Golden Sceptre under which they lived formerly.  
And now, Madam, I have no hopes to do any good, for Hope is like Butter, which the Physicians say is Gold in the morning, Silver at noon, and Led at night, in relation to the stomach; So I had golden hopes at first to redeem and carry along with me some of these transmuted Animals, that are in such an unnatural captivity, but my hopes are now turned perfect Lead, I am in utter despair to prevail with any; Therefore, most admirable Queen, now that the winds blow fair I must think of a departure, and touching those most Princely civilities, & sublime inexpressible favours you have been pleased to show, since the happy Fates brought me to take footing in this your rare Island, I will make the whole world witness of my gratitude, and to ring out Morphandra's glory wheresoever I pass; Nay I will procure your most rare and transcendent virtues, which are beyond the power of mortals, to be engraven with indelible characters of the most burnished gold in the Temple of Immortality.  Morphandra. 
Most accomplished and heroic Prince, those civilities and treatments you have received here were due unto you by the common Laws of Hositality, and you might thereby have claimed them as a Right; But truly I should be very well contented if you were made partaker of your so laudable desires, as to have some of these metamorphosed Animals retransmuted, that so you might carry with you some real returns of your Voyage; Therefore you may please to try one conclusion more, and I spy a fit subject for you to work upon, in yonder great hollow Oak you shall meet with a Swarm of Bees, who have built up their Cells there, whereof I will capacitat some with a perfect faculty of Reason and Ratiocination to interweave discourse with you; They were formerly a Cloister of Nuns, who though after a due probation, and their own spontaneous free choice, they undertook that austere, yet pious and plentiful train of life, yet they fell a murmuring and a humming at the solitude and hardships of that holy Profession, and to think too often on Man with inordinate desires to be discloysterd, and lead a more dissolute and free unbridled life; Yonder they are, therefore you may please to make towards them, and you cannot tell what success you may have with those small airy Infects.  Bee. 
What are you, Sir, that dare approach this Hive, this precious Cell, and Confectionary of Nature?  Pererius. 
Gentle Bees, I come hither for no hurt, but for your infinite advantage; I understand by Queen Morphandra that you were once Intellectual Cretures, and the children of Reason; nay, you were a degree above ordinary human happiness, being in a contemplative and sweet sacred course of life, wherein you had secluded your selves from the world with the vanities thereof, and espoused your selves to your Creator, by keeping the perpetual pure fire of Virginity.  Bee. 
'Tis true, we kept that ceremonious outward fire, but within us we felt too often such flamings, such furnaces or Mongibells of fires, such violent affections and impetuous desires, that made us half mad for the time, the sense of our restraint making these fires far more raging and vehement, for though in external appearance and habits, we showed some symptoms of mortification, yet we could never extinguish the sparks of the concupiscible appetite, which is so naturally inherent in every body.  Pererius. 
I thought that by performance of so many penances, by your temperate diet, by your abstemious use and choice of meats, by your so frequent fastings, by your hard lodgings having mats for your beds, and stones for your pillows, by your early risings, by being always employed in something or other to avoid idleness, which is the Devil's couch; I say, by the practice of these austerities, I thought you had quenched those concup iscentiall flames.  Bee. 
The operations of nature can hardly be quite suppressed, but their motions are irresistible; nor are these natural motions given by the Creator to our sex to be a torment unto us, but for delight, and being lawfully and moderately used, they are destinated for the propagation of Mankind: Moreover there is a saying, who fights against Nature fights against God himself, she being his Handmaid.  Pererius. 
I cannot deny but that Naturam sequi, est Deo obseque, to follow Nature is to obey God, yet as our gretest prudence is seen in the conduct of our natural passions, so our gretest prowess is seen in the conquest of them, when they grow exorbitant and rebellious; We need not seek for enemies abroad to exercise our valour upon, we have too too many within doors, we have enough of domestic and inmate enemies to cope withal.  Bee. 
And will you have us to put on that nature again? But, Sir, besides what we spoke of before, there was another thing that did torture us in that Monastic life, it was the apprehension of our captivity, being sequestered and cut off as it were from the society of Mankind, & in a manner from the Living, 'twixt whom and us (in that state) there was this difference, that they were to die before burial, but we were buried before death; Now, there is nothing so tedious to all natures as imprisonment, which we showed when we slept in the bosom of our Causes in our mother's wombs, whence we broke out to get liberty, and to be a Nun is as it were to go into a kind of womb again.  Pererius. 
ay, but there you were in a kind of Angelical condition amongst those walls, you learned there how to lead the lifes of Angels upon earth, you were as so many fixed Stars which being the higher are more noble, and nearer the throne of the Almighty, than the Planets, which wand'ring up and down never keep the same distance betwixt them.  Bee. 
Sir, under favour, we are not of that opinion; For you know the Sun and the Moon are called the Great Luminaries in Heaven, therefore they must be the more noble, specially the Sun, wherein God himself is said to have his habitation, or Imperial Throne, whence he sees the motion of the Universe, and overlooks all his cretures throughout the world; Now, these noble Erratic Stars are in a perpetual progress, which the Moon finisheth in twenty nine days, Mercury in four-score, Venus nine months, the Sun in a year, Mars in two, jupiter in twelve, and Saturn in thirty years.  Pererius. 
The fixed Stars have also a motion within their own Orbs, and the Convent wherein you were before might be called a Constellation of fixed Stars, which I say do move within the circumference of their own Spheres, as you did within the walls of your Monastery amongst your selves.  Bee. 
But by the condition wherein we are now stated, we may be said to have a larger Being, for we have turned our Convent to a Commonwealth, or rather our Monastery to a Monarchy, wherein we have as exact an oeconomy, and political rules of Government, as ever we had in our Monastery; We have a Sovurain King, who although he hath no sting as all the rest have, yet he carrieth such a Majesty that makes us all exactly obedient to his commands; Nor, though he bear no arms himself, was there ever heard of any Rebellion amongst us against our lawful Prince, as is so frequent amongst Mankind; It being a principle from the very instinct of nature amongst us, that it is both detestable and damnable for Subjects to rise up against their supreme Governor, and go about to right themselves by Arms; I say, that in this state we have a very regular Government, we have a King, we have privy Counsellors, we have Commanders in the War, and gregarian Soldiers; We keep close in Winter, and have then our Sentinels; We go not abroad till Beans do blossom, and then, if the weather permit, there's never a day passeth in idleness; We first build our Cells and Combs, then make Honey, and then engender; We make our Wax and Honey of the freshest and most fragrant flowers, and abhor withered or stinking vegetals; When the flowers are spent in one place, we have our harbingers abroad to find out another; being surprised by night in our expeditions, we sleep in a supine posture with our bellies upward, to preserve our wings from the falling dew; Betimes in the morning we are awakened by our Drummer, who punctually performs his office that way; Then, if the day be mild, we sally forth in a great body, and we have an instinct to foresee winds, tempests, and rain, which makes us keep often within; When we go abroad to work, every one hath his task, and the younger are put to the hardest, while the elder labour within doors; We all feed together, and if we be surprised abroad with a sudden wind, we take up a stone 'twixt our feet to give weight to our bodies, that they may not be blown away; There is among us a Censor of manners, and some Officers that watch those which are slothful, who are afterwards punished with death, and for the Drones, which are a spurious kind of brood, we quite banish them; there's not the least foulness seen in our Alvearies or Hives, for we abhor all immundicities and sordidnes; When 'tis towards night, our hum lessen by degrees, till an Officer fly about and command silence and sleep, which is instantly done; We first build houses for our Workmen and Plebeians, and then palaces for the Nobles and the King; We punish sloth without mercy; we faithfully obey our King, being always about him like a guard, and He in the midst; When the people are at work, He goes about and cherisheth them, He only being exempt from labour; He hath always his Officers ready to punish Delinquents; When He goes forth, the whole Swarm attends him, if He chance to be weary, we bear him upon our shoulders; Whersoever He rests, there the general Rendezvous is; Wasps, Hornets, and Swallows are enemies to us; We bury our dead with great solemnity; At the King's death there is a general mourning and fasting, with a cessation from labour, and we use to go about his body with a sad murmur for many days; When we are sick we have attendants appointed us, and the symptoms when we be sick are infallible, according to the honest plain Poet, 
If Bees be sick (for all that live must die)  
That may be known by signs most certainly,  
Their bodies are discoloured, and their face  
Looks wan, which shows that death comes on apace;  
They carry forth their dead, and do lament,  
Hanging o'th' door, or in their Hives are penned:  
Hunger and cold consumes them, you shall find  
They buzz as doth t'th ' wood's the Southern wind,  
Or as the Sea when as the waves return,  
Or fire closed up in vaults with noise doth burn.   
Nor are we profitable only in our lifes unto Mankind, by that precious Honey we confect for their use, which though for the rare virtues and sweetness thereof some held to be the jelly of the Stars, others the sweat of the Heavens, others the quintessence of the Air, though really it be but our Chylus at the third digestion; I say, that we are not only in our life's beneficial to mankind, who receives the fruits of our labours, but after death also; Our bodies pounded and drunk with wine, or any other diareticall thing, cures the Dropsy, Stone, and Strangury; The honey scrapped off our dead bodies is extraordinary good against divers diseases; Moreover we have a kind of transmigration among us, one into the other; Out of our brains, marrow, and chine-bones, Kings and Nobles are bred, out of the rest of our bodies ordinary Bees.  Pererius. 
Gentle Bee, you have spoken as much as can be for the advantage of your condition, yet nevertheless you are but fleshless poor sensitive Infects only, of a short and a kind of ephemeran subsistence; You want that spark of Immortality, the noble Rational Soul, whereby the human Creture goes as far beyond you, as an Angel goes beyond him.  Bee. 
I remember when I was a Nun I heard many characters given of the Rational Soul, as were somewhat transcendent, if not presumptuous; The Theolog or Divine called her, The Image of God Almighty; The Philosopher called her, The Queen of Forms; And you call her now, A Spark of Immortality; Yet you know not how, nor where this Spark enters into you, nor where it resides in any particular place above other Souls, nor are you agreed whether she enters into you by divine infusion, or by traduction from the parental seeds.  Pererius. 
I shall endeavour to satisfy you touching these particulars; It must be considered, that Man may be called the great Amphybium of nature; First, he is a confused lump of dead matter, lying as it were upon the lees in the womb, where the vegetable Soul enters first, making it capable of extension and growth; Then the Sensitive Soul follows, who by the plastical virtue falls a forming the members or the organs; Then comes the noblest of all the three, the Rational Soul, who sways o'er the other two, and is— Divinae particula aurae, she is breathed from the Creator himself, and which no other creature in Heaven or earth can say, she is capable of a spiritual Regeneration afterwards, as the Body is of a Resurrection; At last, when she hath shaken off the slough of flesh, she becomes a Spirit either good or bad, she becomes a Saint or a Devil, and so receives eternal beatitude or torments; By these degrees observable it is, that Man hath potentially in himself all created natures, first or last, both in Heaven, Earth, and Hell; All which may be comprised in this Poem, which, though short, containeth the whole story of Mankind from first to last. 
Man is that great Amphybium in whom lie  
Three distinct Souls by way of trigony;  
He runs through all creations by degrees,  
First, He is only Matter on the lees,  
Whence he proceeds to be a Vegetal,  
Next Sensitive, and so Organical;  
Then by divine infusion a third Soul,  
The Rational doth the two first control;  
But when this Soul comes in, and where she dwells  
Distinct from others, no Dissector tells,  
And (which no creature else can say) that state  
Enables her to be Regenerate:  
She than becomes a Spirit, and at last  
A Saint or Devil, when that she hath cast  
The clog of flesh, which yet she takes again,  
To perfect her beatitude or pain:  
Thus Man is first or last allied to all  
Cretures in Heaven, in Earth, or Hell's black Hall.   Bee. 
Whereas you allege, that the Intellectual or Rational Soul enters by Divine infusion, I remember when I was a Nun, that divers learned men were of opinion, that she was (like the other two Souls, viz. the vegetal and the Sensitive) propagated and traduced by the seed and sperm of the parents, and that this was done by the hereditary vertu of that gran universal Benediction, pronounced by God himself to all his cretures, Increase and multiply; Then they proceeded to urge the common Axiom, that like begets the like; Now, the great God of Nature did constitut all other species perfect in their own kinds, with a procreative power to beget their like by a complete generation; And why should Man, in whom the ideas of all other created natures are collectively resplendent? Why should he, I say, come short of this perfection and privilege? for without it he may be ranked among those mutilat defective cretures, who are destitut of power to procreate an Individuum like themselves.  Pererius. 
This shows the eminency of the human Soul above others in point of extraction, for if she were made of such poor frail ingredients as the seeds of the parents, she would be perishable with the Body, whereas the is created to be heir of Eternity.  Bee. 
I remember the reply to this, That the excellency of the human Soul is not to be derived from her creation and first materials, but from the Fiat, or eternal Decree, and particular blessing of the Creator, who endowed her from the beginning with such a prerogative, out of his free will and pleasure, to be capable of eternity: But whereas you aver, that the parental feeds are too gross ingredients to produce so noble a Soul, I remember there are great modern Doctors and Physicians who hold, that neither the seed of mother or father go to the impregnation, but that the Female conceives only by a virtual contact, as the Loadstone draws Iron, and that she is made pregnant by conceiving the general Idea without matter; To make this new assertion good, they compare the womb to the brain, and that what the phantasma or appetit is in the brain, the same phantasma or its analogy is excited in the womb, for both of them are called Conceptions.  Pererius. 
This is a wild extravagant opinion, for one may believe with more reason, that the Tumontian Mares are impregnated, and made to conceive by the South-west winds.  Bee. 
I remember another argument that was urged for the traducible generation of the human Soul, which was, that the Rational Soul begins to operat in the prolifical seed the very first moment of conception, as soon as the prolifical emissions of both sexes are blended by mutual fermentation, for then the conformative and proper operations of the Rational Soul begin upon the Embryo, who proceeds to majoration and augmentation accordingly; And it is no less than an absurdity to think, that the Infant after conception should be majorated by the influence of any other Soul then that from whom he received his formation; Now, that this formation begins instantly after the conception, appeers by the early activity of nature, which hath been sensibly discovered in abortive Embryo's by autopicall observations, whereby it hath been visibly found, that a Septenary Slip put into clear water, a subtle Inspector through a magnifying Glass may discern all the rudiments of the organical parts; There may be seen there the general conformative faculty in the seed, wherein will visibly appear three small bubbling conglobations, which are the materials of the noblest parts, viz. the Brain, the Heart, and the Liver; there will appear also two small black Orbs, or atomical points, which are the rudiments of the Eyes: Whence may be strongly inferred, that if organization, and the conformation of the Infant begins in the very punctilio or first moment of the conception, that the Rational Soul than works in the seed, as being the most vigorous part of it; From hence it follows, that Man doth absolutely procreate Man, which could not be if the Genitor did not communicate the Human Soul unto his Issue; For since Man is composed of Soul and Body, if the parent cannot cannot impart both to his offspring, he may be said to be inferior to Beasts, who have intrinsic active principles, and power in themselves to propagat, and beget Individiums of their own species, without the concurrence of extrinsecall causes.  Pererius. 
These are neotericall fancies, and derogatory to the nobleness of the Rational Soul, who hath a far more sublime and spiritual extraction.  Bee. 
But to let pass this Quaere, how and when the Rational Soul informs and actuates the Embryo, there have been great researches and indagations made, whether this Soul being so distinct from the Vegetal and Sensitive in her operations, whether, I say, she hath any particular domicile or cell within the human body for her own residence.  Pererius. 
It was never found yet by any inspections which the Naturalists and Anatomisers have made, that the Rational Soul hath any peculiar lodging, proper only to herself, and differing from other Animals; But being indivisible, inextensive, and without parts, she is tota in toto & tota in qualibet parte, she is all in the whole, and whole in every part of the compositum, she is diffused up and down the whole mass or fabric of flesh, there being no movement at all without her; For as the beams or light of the Sun displayeth itself every where through the whole Hemisphere, yet hath it no particular mansion in any place more than another, so the Rational Soul, which is a beam of Immortality, diffuseth herself through the whole Microcosm of Man to quicken it, yet she hath no particular residence in any part; 'Tis true, that she is radically in the heart, and principally in the brain, which is as it were her Capitol, and the seat of the Animal-spirits; Thence she issueth forth her commands, and dividing her Empire into a Triarchy, she governs by three Viceroys, the three Faculties, who though they are absolutely distinct by their Commissions, and keep their Courts in several Regions, yet are they united by so indissoluble a league, and sympathetic alliance, that the prosperity of one enlargeth the principalities of the other, and the detriment of each threatens the integrity of the whole; The Natural or Vegetal Faculty claims superiority of time in order of procreation, as being Governess of our Minority, commanding the third part of our lises; The Vital hath pre-eminence in order of necessity, keeping her Court chiefly in the Heart, which is the first part that lives, and the last that dies; thence she transmits' a sovurain and conservatory influence through all the members, without which the whole Man must in the fleetest article of time be but a Cadaver; The Animal Faculty challengeth supermacy in order of eminence, as regulating the sublimer actions, as Sense and Motion, togegether with the Memory, Understanding, and Imagination, to which, as to their perfection, the two former are designed.  
Therefore, gentle Bees, think speedily on the free proposal I have made, and of the fair opportunity you have offered you to be reinformed with Rational Souls, and to return to the Religious Convent you came from, where being weaned from the frail world, together with the cares and encumbrances thereof; Where, by the constant practice of holy duties night and day, you may act the parts of Angels upon earth, and afterwards of true Angels in the land of Eternity: Therefore shake off this despicable poor humming condition, and go again to sing Hymns and Hallelujahs to your Creator.  Bee. 
Know, Sir, that we have also a Religion, as well as so exact a Government among us here; Our Hum you speak of are as so many Hymns to the great God of Nature; And there is a miraculous example in Caesarius Cisterniensis, how some of the holy Eucharist being let fall in a meadow by a Priest, as he was returning from visiting a sick body, a Swarm of Bees being hard by took it up, and in a solemn kind of procession carried it to their Hive, and there erected an Altar of the purest Wax for it, where it was found in that form, and untouched.  
But whereas you spoke of Angels, how do the separated Souls of good men, when they are exalted to Heaven, differ from the Angels?  Pererius. 
As they agree, so they differ in many things; Angels and separated Souls agree, in that both of them are Spirits; Both of them are Intellectual and Eternal Cretures; They both behold the beatifical Vision; Both of them are Courtiers of Heaven, and act merely by the understanding, etc. Lastly, They both are Parishioners of the Church Triumphant: Now, as the blessed Angels and Souls separate do thus agree, So they differ in many things; They differ in their Essentials, for the principles of Angels are merely Metaphysical, viz. Essence and Existence; but a separated Soul continues still part of that Compositum which formerly consisted of matter and form, and is still apt to be reunited thereunto; Till then, she is not absolutely completed, for all that while she changeth not her nature, but her state of life: Moreover, they differ in the exercise of the Understanding, and manner of knowledge, for a Soul separate knows still by discourse and ratiotination, which an Angel doth not but by Intuition; They also differ in dignity of Nature, for Angels have larger Illuminations, At the first instant of their Creation they beheld the Beatific Vision, the sum of all happiness, yet separated Souls are capable to mount up to such a height of glory by degrees as to be like them in all things, both in point of Vision, Adhaesion, and Fruition.  Bee. 
Now, Sir, that you speak of Angels, what degrees are there of them in the Celestial Hierarchy?  Pererius. 
They are divided into three Hierarchies, and in every Hierarchy there are three Orders; The first consists of Seraphims, the second of Cherubims, the third of Thrones; The second consists of Dominations, of Virtues, and Powers; The third consists of Principalities, of Angels, and archangels; Now, those of the supremest Hierarchy partake of divine Illuminations in a greater measure: And you were all born, gentle Bees, to be members of any of these glorious Hierarchies.  Bee. 
I remember when I was a Nun, that some presumptuous spirits would preach, that Angels were created for Man, and that Man was of so high a creation that he was little inferior unto them, if not their equal, and that their chief ministerial function was to guard Him, etc.  Pererius. 
They were presumptuous indeed, and in a high degree of profaneness, as you shall find in these Stanza's of comparison, though some of them are familiar, and too low for so high a subject.  

1.  
Such as the meanest Star in Sky  
Is to the Sun in Majesty;  
What a Monk's Cell is to high Noon,  
Or a new Cheese unto the Moon;  
No more is Man, if one should dare  
Unto an Angel Him compare.   

2.  
What to the Eagle is a Gnat,  
Or to Leviathan a Sprat;  
What to the Elephant a Mouse,  
Or Shepherd's Cott to Caesar's House;  
No more is Man, if one should dare  
Unto an Angel Him compare.   

3.  
What to a Pearl a peeble Stone,  
Or Cobler's Shop unto a Throne;  
What to the Oak the basest Shrub,  
Or to Noah's Ark a Brewer's Tub;  
No more is Man, if one should dare  
Unto an Angel Him compare.   

4.  
Then let not Man, half child of night,  
Compare with any Heavenly Wight,  
He will appear on that account  
A Molehill to Olympus' Mount;  
Yet let this still his comfort be,  
He hath a capability  
To be of Heaven Himself, but on this score,  
If he doth not make Earth his Heaven before.   Bee. 
Noble Prince, you pleased to give divers touches of the Immortality of the human Soul, I pray be pleased to illuminat and rectify our understandings touching that point.  Pererius. 
Concerning the immortality and incorruptiblenes of the Rational Soul in the World to come, not only Christian Divines, but the best of Pagan Philosophers, Poets, and Orators, have done her that right, as is evident in their works; Moreover, the Intellectual Human Soul doth prove herself to be immortal, both by her desires, her apprehensions, and her operations; Touching the first, Her desires are infinite we know, and never satisfied in this world; Now, it is a Maxim among the Schoolmen, That there is no natural passion given to any finite creature to be frustraneous; Secondly, Her apprehensions or longings after eternal Truths, which are her chiefest employments, and most adaequat objects, declare her Immortal; Thirdly, from her operations, 'tis known, that all corruption comes from matter, and from the clashing of contraries; Now, when the Soul is severed from the Body, she is elevated beyond the sphere of matter, therefore no causes of mortality can reach her, whereby her state and operations pronounce her immortal, which operations she doth exercise without the ministry of corporeal organs, for they were used to be a clog to her; Add hereunto, that she useth to spiritualise material things in the Intellect, to abstract Ideas from individuals; She can apprehend negations and privations, she can frame collective notions, all which actings conclude her immateriality, and as 'twas pointed at before, where no matter is found there's no corruption, and where there's no corruption there's no mortality; Now, her prime operations being without the ministry of Matter, she may be concluded immortal by that common principle, Modus operandi, sequitur modum essendi, Operations are according to the essence of every thing; Now, in the World to come, the Soul shall be in a state of pure independent Being, for there will be neither action or passion in that state; Whence may be inferred, she shall never perish, in regard that all corruption comes from the action of another thing upon that which is corruptible, therefore that thing must be capable to be made better or worse; Now, if a separate Soul be placed in her ultimat and utmost state, that she can be made neither, it follows, that she can never lose the Being she hath; Besides, since the egress out of the body doth not alter her nature, but only her condition, it must be granted, that she was of the same nature while she continued incorporated, though in that kind of imprisonment she was subject to be forged as it were by the hammer of material objects beating upon her, yet so, as she was still of herself what she was; Therefore when she goes out of the passable ore wherein she suffered, by reason of the foulness and impurity of that ore, she immediately becomes impassable, and a fixed subject of her own nature, viz. a simple pure Being; Both which (as a most noble Knight Sir. K. D. hath it) may be illustrated in some measure by what we find passeth in the coppilling of a fixed metal, which as long as any lead or dross or any allay remains with it, continueth still melting, flowing, and in motion under the muffle; but as soon as they are parted from it, and that 'tis become pure, defecated, without mixture, and single of itself, it contracts itself to a narrower room, and instantly ceaseth from all motion, it grows hard, permanent, and resistent to all force of fire, admitting no change or diminution in its substance by any external violence; In like manner it may be said, when the Rational Soul departs from the drossy ore of the Body, and comes to be her single self, she is like exalted Gold, and reduced to the utmost perfection; She can be no more liable to any diminution, to action or passion, or any kind of alteration, but continues fixed for ever in the full fruition of unconceivable bliss and glory.  Bee. 
Excellent Prince, these are high abstracted notions, transcending the reach of vulgar capacities; But you were pleased to reflect somewhat upon the blissfulness and joys of the human Soul in the other world, I pray be pleased to enlarge yourself upon this Theme.  Pererius. 
These joys, as they are beyond expression, so they are beyond all imagination; That vast Ocean of Felicity which the separate Soul is capable to receive cannot flow into her, until those banks of earth, viz. the corporeal walls of flesh be removed; Those infinite joys which the human Soul shall be ravished withal in Heaven are unmeasurable, and beyond any mathematical reaches; They have length without points, breadth without lines, depth without surface; They are even and uninterrupted joys, but to go about to express them in their perfection were the same task, as to go about to measure the Ocean in Cockle-shells, or compute the number of the sands with peeble stones; Touching these faint and fading pleasures among the Elements, we use to desire them when we need them, and when we have them, the desire presently languisheth in the fruition; Moreover, we use to love earthly things most when we want them, and less when we have them; The daintiest meats and drinks nauseat after fullness; Carnal delights cause sadness after the enjoyment; All pleasures breed not only a satiety but a disgust, and the contentment terminats with the act: 'Tis otherwise with Celestial things, they are most loved when they are enjoyed, and most coveted when they are had; They are always full of what is desired, and the desire still lasteth, but it is a co-ordinat desire of complacency and continuance, not an appetit after more, because they are perfect of themselves; Yet there is still a Desire, and a Satiety, but the one finds no want, nor can the other breed a surfeit; The higher the pleasure is, the more full and intense is the fruition, and the oftener 'tis repeated the more the appetit increaseth; Whence this conclusion follows, that there can be no proportion at all betwixt the joys of a separate Soul, and those of a Soul embodied; For the least dram of the spiritual joys in Heaven is more than the whole Ocean of fleshly contentments; One drop of those abstracted, those pure, permanent; & immarcescible delights is infinitely more sweet, than all those mixed and muddy streams of corporeal and mundan pleasures, than all those no other then Utopian delights of this transitory world, were they all cast into a Limbeck, and the very Elixir of them distilled into one vessel.  Bee. 
Incomparable Prince, you have conquered us with such strong Herculean Reasons, you have raised our spirits with such high raptures, and so illuminated our understandings, that by the gracious Fiat of the great God of Nature, and the favour of Queen Morphandra his handmaid in this particular, we are willing to resume our first shapes, and so return to our dear Country and Cloisters, where the remembrance of this transfiguration, we hope, will turn to our advantage; In the interim, we render you most humble and hearty thanks in the highest degree that can be imagined, for your flexanimous and heavenly persuasions, which we found so melting and sweet, that we may justly think Bees sat upon your lips, as they did upon Plato's, in your cradle, or that you might be nursed with Honey in lieu of Milk, as Pindarus the Prince of Lyrics was; And because Poesy is the gretest light whereby the Rational Soul may be discerned to be a Ray of Divinity, we will conclude with some Enthusiasms to blissful Heaven and the Hierarchies thereof in this gradual Hymn, beginning with our Creator.  


Nature's great God, the Cause of causes, be  
Adored and praised to all Eternity,  
That supreme Good, that quintessential Light,  
Which quickens all that's hidden, or in sight;  
Who breathes in Man the Intellectual Soul,  
Thereby to rule all Cretures, and control  
What Water, Earth, or Air; etc.   

1.  
O holy Souls, O heavenly Saints,  
Who from corruption and the taints  
Of flesh and blood, from pain and tears,  
From pining cares, and panting fears,  
And from all passions, except Love  
(Which only reigns with you above)  
Are now exempt, and made in endless Bliss  
Free Denizens, and Heirs of Paradis.   

2.  
O glorious Angels who behold  
The Lord of Light from Thrones of Gold,  
Yet do vouchsafe to look on Man,  
To be his Guide and Guardian,  
Praying always that He may be  
Partner of your felicity;  
O blissful Saints and Angels, may ye still  
The Court of Heaven with Hallelujahs fill.   

3.  
Seraphic Powers, Cherubs, Thrones,  
Virtues and Dominations,  
Supernal principalities,  
Glories, and Intelligencies,  
Who guide the course of Stars in sky,  
And what in their vast Concaves lie:  
May ye for ever great Jehovah's will,  
And His commands throughout the world fulfil.   

4.  
Archangels who the most sublime degree  
Do hold in the Triumphant Hierarchy,  
And can endure to see, and face alone  
The glorious Beatific Vision,  
A joy which all joys else transcends so far  
As doth a morning Sun the meanest Star.  
Archangels, Angels, Saints, Souls severed, may ye still  
The Empyrean Court with Hallelujahs fill.    
Infantium Cerebri Sextus Post Quadraginta.  
Gloria laùsque Deo saeCLorVM in saecVla sunto.  
A Chronogrammaticall Verse, which includes not only this year 1660. but hath numerical Letters enough to reach above a thousand years further, until the year 2867.  
— Heic Terminus esto.   

AN ADVERTISEMENT Relating to ORTHOGRAPHY.  
There is a Saying, that hath gained the repute of a Proverb, (though it be also a kind of Reproach) That the French neither sings as he pricks, nor thinks as he speaks, nor speaks as he writes; The first proceeds from abundance of spirits, and his volatile airy nature; The second from his Excess of Compliments; The third, because he would have his Language retain still of the Romand or Latin Tongue; Therefore when he writes Temps, Corpse, Estoille, Advocats, etc. which come from Tempus, Corpus Stella, Advocati, he pronounceth them, Tan, Cors, Etoilis, Avocà; The English may be said to be as guilty hereof, for if the French writes, Apres la tempeste vient le beau temps, and pronounceth, Apre la tampete vine le bou tan, After a Storm comes a Calm; If the French writes, Les Advocats bastissent levers maisons de testes de fols, and pronounceth, Les avocà batisset leur mesons de tete de fous, Lawyers build their houses of Fools heads, (viz. Clients) The English comes not short of him, for whereas he writes, God give you good Evening, he often says, Godi godin; Whereas he writes, Much good may it do unto you, he often pronounceth, Musgiditty: The French do labour daily to reform this, and to bring both Writing and Pronounciation to be consonant, by retrenching the superfluous letters, for whereas they were used to write, Les Epistres que les Apostres ont Escrit, they now write as they pronounce, Les Epitres que les Apotres ont ecrit: It hath been the aim of the Author in this Book (and others) to do the like, (though the Press did not observe his Orthography so punctually). Now, Strangers use to quarrel with our Language, and throw away the Book in a chase sometimes, because our writing and pronunciation are so differing; For when a stranger meets with treasure, measure, feature, reader, weather, people, etc. he pronounceth tre-asure, me-asure, fe-ature, re-ader, we-ather, pe-ople; When he meets with witness, sickness, witty, pretty, pity, star, war, etc. he pronounceth witness, sickness, witty, pretty, pity, star, war, etc. Whereas if we would write them as we pronounce them, viz. Treasure, measure, feature, reder, wether, people, witness, sickness, witty, pretty, pity, star, war, etc. (which gives altogether as full a prolation) strangers would not find such a difficulty and distaste in learning our Language; It hath been, and is still the endeavour of the Author to reform this, as also to bring those words which are derived from the Latin Tongue to follow her Orthography rather than the French, whereby divers Letters are saved, as Magic, Tysic, Colic, Favor, Lahor, etc. not Magic, Physic, Cholique, Favour, Labour, etc. For as it is a Principle in Philosophy, Encia non sunt frustra multiplicanda, Entities are not to be multiplied in vain, so it may as well hold in Orthography, That Letters are not to he multiplied to no purpose; Add hereunto the Topical Rule, (as the Author observes elsewhere) Frustra sit per plura quod fieri potest per pauciora, More is waste, whe●… fewer will serve one turn.   

THE INDEX.  
A more particular Account of the Ingredients that went to the Composition of this Work.  

A  
Fol.  
THe Art of governing Man the most difficult. 26  
An Asse's body medicinal for many things after death. Ibid.  
The Antipathy 'twixt an Ape and a Snail. 50  
Aristotle, Secretary of Nature's cabinet-councel. 55  
Ambition hath no Horizon. 70  
Aristotle held, that in the Female there was no active principle of Generation. 55  
Confutation of the said Opinion. Ibid.  
Apelles' painted a good huswife standing upon a Snail. 58  
Aristotle inconstant to himself where he treats of Policy. 98  
The Affections of the Peeple an imperfect security to a Prince. 99  
Of Atoms. 103  
The Activity of Atoms. 104  
The Application of the Sympathetic Powder. 106  
Aetonia characterised. 108  
Aetonia full of mongrel Princes. 109  
The advantages of the Human body. 120  
An Ass cannot abide Fennel. 18  
Artonia a Noun Substantive that can stand by itself. ibid.  
The Artonian Peasan born in chains. 19  
Of Artonia with the plenty and beggary thereof. 18  
Of the great Artonian Favourite. 21  
The Austerities of Nuns. 134   

B  
Bees, how useful after death. 138  
Bees bodies pounded good against many diseases. ibid.  
The Books of the Dead enliven the Living. In the Epist.  
Brute Animals more easy to be governed than Mankind. 99  
Of the Beast with many heads, viz. the Common people. ibid.  
The Brains of a Fox good against the Falling sickness. 100  
The Blood of a Fox good against the Stone and the Cramp. ibid.  
A dead Boar hath nothing bad in him but his Excrements. 112  
The Brains of a Boar good against the bitting of Serpents. ibid.  
The Blood of a Boar good against Carbuncles. ibid.  
Boar's liver good against the biting of a mad Dog. ibid.  
Boar's lard good to make broken bones firm. ibid.  
Boar's testicles good against the Falling sickness. ibid.  
Boar's dung good against all venomous bitings, as also against the pain of the Spleen and Sciatica. ibid.  
A Boar being dead hath many virtues, and why? ibid.  
How Beasts go in many things beyond Man. 120  
The Carboncian sells his King. 129  
A Bees Hive, the chief Confectionary of Nature. 134   

C  
The Conduct of the Passions the greatest prudence, and the Conquest of them the greatest prowess. In the Epist.  
Children a certain care, but an incertain comfort. 24  
Comparisons 'twixt the Body Politic and the Natural. 48  
Censures pro & con of Tumontia. 69  
A rare comparison of the holy Trinity. 83  
A City in Saturnia where husbands use to get their wifes with child a hundred miles off. 88  
A Character of Saturnia. 89  
Of the gripes of Conscience. 90  
Of Covetousness. ibid.  
The Common people a cross-grained Animal. 99  
A Comparison touching the Tomanto Empire. 109  
The Character of an Aetonian. 111  
Of Cuprinia. 114  
The Cuprinian compared to a Wolf. 115  
The Cuprinian had vast designs. 114  
A Carboncian turned to a Soland-Goose, and the reasons why. 125  
Carboncia a coors Country. ibid.  
Carboncia's brag of her Kings. 126  
Carboncia's late story. ib.  
Carboncia found Fiddlers fare in Gheriona. 128  
The Country of Gheriona good, but the people bad. 131  
A high Compliment. 135  
Concupiscence not given to Mankind for a torment, but for delight. ibid.   

F  
A Description of the Morning. 48  
A Discourse of Womankind. 56  
A Devil lurks in every berry of the Grape. 68  
Divers medicinal virtues in a dead Deer. 64  
Of the Discovery of the New World. 71  
The Doctor of Physics Fee but two shillings in Tumontia. 73  
A Discourse of Physic, and the Art thereof pro & con. 74  
Diseases belonging to all the parts of Human body. 78  
Distempers of the mind more cruciatory than those of the body. 80  
A Discourse touching the Sense and the Soul. ibid.  
A Discourse of Aetonia, and how she is impaired, 109  
What Nation is the gretest Drunkard. 111  
A Discourse of the Instinctive Reason that Beasts have. 119  
What a damnable thing it is for Subjects to rise up in Arms against their King. 128  
A Discourse of Nuns. 134  
A Discourse whether the Human Soul be by Infusion or Traduction. 140  
The Degrees of the Celestial Hierarchy. 145  
A discourse of the Immortality of the Soul. 147   

E  
Experience the touchstone of Truth. 6  
Of the English Liturgy. 30  
Examples pro & con touching the chastity of Women. 59  
An Emblem of a lavishing wife. ibid.  
Every one knows how to tame a shrew but he who hath her. 61  
Examples of notable scolds. ibid.  
Examples of the rare Longaevity of Deer. 64  
The Elephant begins his youth at threescore years. ibid.  
How pitifully the Empire is decayed. 111  
Of Aesop's Dog. 115  
The fearful and sudden judgement which fell upon the Carboncians for their Rebellion. 129  
Of the fixed Stars and the Planets, touching their motion. 136  
Exact Obedience among Bees. ibid.  
Exact Government among Bees. ibid.  
An Epitome of the late confusions in Gheriona. 33  
An Epitome of the confusions throughout the world for forty years. ibid.   

F  
Fable of an Ass. 24  
Of a foolish Naturalist, who wished there were another way to propagat Mankind than by Women. 55  
The Fable of the Stagg. 65  
A Facetious answer of a Pope touching Physicians. 74  
The Foam of a Mule drunk in warm wine good against Pursines. 85  
The Fable of the Mule. ib.  
Divers Fables of the Fox. 87  
The Fable of the Frogs. 99  
A Fox tongue carried in a chain good against sore eyes. 101  
Fables 'twixt the Wolf and the Lamb applied. 105  
The Fable of the Goat and the Lion. 118  
The Fable of the Horse and the Ass. 24  
The Fable of the Ass and the Spaniel. ibid.   

G  
God heals, but the Physician takes the Fee. 77  
No Government so wise that can fit all Countries, and why? 98  
The genitals, lights, and liver of a Fox, good against the Spleen. 101  
The Gum of a Pinetree eaten by the Fox when he is ill. 100  
Goat's blood dissolves Diamonds, and scours better than any file. 123  
Goat's milk recovers a Loadstone, when being rubbed with Garlic it hath lost its virtue. ibid.  
Goat's marrow good against aches. ibid.  
Goat's trindles drunk in wine good against the jaundice, etc. ibid.  
Goat's liver, entrails, ashes, horns, milt, spleen, urine, marrow, hoofs, gall, dung, trindles, suet, etc. all medicinal. ibid.  
Gheriona censured. 131   

H  
A gradual Hymn to God and his Angels. 150  
if the Humours were fixed in Man's body, he might live eternally. In the Epist.  
History a profitable study. 31  
The horridnes of Annihilation. 49  
Honest men use to marry, wise men not. 62  
The hardship the Tumontian endures. 69  
Health, the most precious of jewels. 77  
The high prerogatives of Reason. 81  
A horrid kind of Revenge. 92  
Another Hellish revenge in Saturnia. 93  
A late History of ten Morris-dancers in Orosia that made above a 1000 years betwixt them. 122  
The Horrid Ingratitude of the Carboncian against their native King. 128  
The Horrid Insurrections in Hebrinia took rise from Carboncia. 130  
Hope like Butter, gold in the morning, silver at noon, and lead at night. 135   

I  
In some places of the Indies the living wife throws herself into the pile with her husband. 60  
jealousy among Thoughts like Bats among Birds. 90  
The Insulsity of the common people to think any rare effect to be Magical. 102  
Of Instinctive Reason. 118  
Ill humours adhere to human nature as rust to copper. 121  
Of the Infirmities of Mankind. ibid.  
Idleness the Devil's couch. 154   

K  
The highest knowledge a man hath of his Creator but half blindness. 83  
A cruel horrid murder. 103  
The Kirk-mens' horrid ingratitude. 128  
The King's Cheese goes away three parts in pairings in Artonia. 19  
Why the King of Artonia keeps the common people so low. 20  
The King of Artonia's huge taxes. 19  
The King of Bees hath no sting. 136  
The King of Bees hath a solemn Funeral. 189   

L  
A Lawyer like Balaam's Ass, he will not speak unless an Angel appear. 16  
Of Lawyers. 17  
Lawyers build fair houses of Fool's heads. 17  
Of Laughter. 22  
Of the long age of Deer. 64  
Laughter a passion that hath the most variety of action. 22  
The Laws of the Kingdom of Bees. 136   

M  
Mirth and sadness follow one another in human bodies as night succeeds day. The Epist.  
Magic the first Philosophy. 2  
Man Paramount of all the sublunary cretures. 7  
Man a tyrant to himself. ib.  
Man's body compared to a ship. 10  
A Mariner's life. 12  
Man the most intractable of all cretures. 26  
Of the great maiden-City Marcopolis. 63  
Man hath more diseases than a horse, or any other creature. 98  
Of Merchant's. 70  
Marther strangely discovered. 92  
The marvellous continence of a Saturnian. 94  
Of Monarchy. 98  
Some general Maxims of Policy may extend to all Countries. 99  
The mode of raaking the Sympathetic Powder. 103  
Man more savage than any Beast. 108  
Of the Method of Providence. 110  
A Miser and a Hog good for nothing till after death. 112  
Man taxed of presumption. 121  
The Miser like an Ass, that carrieth gold but feeds on thistles. 17  
The motions of Nature irresitible. 135  
Man's gretest foes are within himself. ibid.  
Man the gretest Amphibyum of Nature for having three souls. 159   

N  
Of Navigation. 9  
A notable proverb touching long life. 49  
The noble gratitude of a Saturnian. 94  
Not such a Tyrant in the world as the common people. 99  
The Natural and Political body compared. 20  
A notable Fable of the Ass and the Horse applied. 24.  
Nuns a degree higher the the ordinary course of happiness. 134  
Nature abhors captivity. 135   

O  
Of fading earthly joys. 149  
Of heavenly joys. ibid.  
Otter's stones good against the Palsy. 8  
Otter's liver reduced to powder good against the Stone and Cholic. ibid.  
Of old age. 64  
Of the perturbances of human brains. 68  
Opportunity the best moment in the whole extension of Time. 72  
Of Physicians. 87  
The odd life of a Soldier. 114  
Orosia vindicated. 122  
The Orosian faithful to his King. 123  
Orosia corrupted by the Gherionian Sectaries. 124  
Of the three Souls in Man. 159  
New Opinions, that the seeds of the Parents go not to impregnation, but the Female conceives by virtual contact. 141  
Of the three Faculties of the Soul. 143   

P  
The Prerogatives that Man hath over other cretures. 7  
The Partridge and Pigeon purge themselves with Bay-leaves. 76  
Policy how degenerated of late days. 95  
The truest Patriots are the Marcopolits. 95  
Policy and Craft distinguished. ibid.  
The poor Politicians of Gheriona. 96  
A false Policy that makes Religion her mask. 95  
Policy or the Art of governing Man the hardest. 97  
Proverbs of several Nations.  
Who preach War are the Devil's Chaplains. 129  
The best Policy Gheriona can use is to keep the Carboncian low. ibid.  
The periodical motions of the Planets. 136  
Potentially, Man hath in him all created natures. 159  
A Poem, containing the whole History of Man. 14  
The Prerogative of Angels above Man in a Poem. 145   

Q  
Queen Morphandra descended of a Divine race. In the Prologue.  
Queen Morphandra did perform all her Transmutations, not by any Magical ways, but by the Power and Fiat of God.  
Of Queen Artemesia, who reared a wonderful Monument for her husband Mausolus, and besides made her own Body his Tomb, by taking a doss every morning of his ashes. 60   

R  
Reason the specifical difference that distinguisheth Man from Beast. 7  
The high prerogatives of Reason. ibid.  
Of Roundheads. 49  
Rebels and mad Dogs must be knocked in the head. 100  
Rebels but half punished, like Snakes cut in few pieces they will cling again together. ib.  
A rare Cure wrought by the Sympathetic Powder. 107  
The Reason that Beasts have is only Direct, and capable of Singulars. 118  
Reason distinguished. 120  
The Rational Soul the Image and Breath of God Almighty. 139  
The Rational Soul the Queen of Forms. ibid.  
The Rational Soul a Spark of Immortality. ibid.  
The Rational Soul hath no particular place of residence in Man, but is diffusive through all parts. ibid.  
Reasons alleged, that the Rational Soul is traducible. 141  
A Rare example of the Devotion of Bees. 144   

S  
Of a Seafaring life. 9  
A Strange horrid dream. 32  
Of the servitude and ill usage of Women. 58  
The Serpent cures himself with Fennel. 76  
Of the Sagacity of some Beasts. ibid.  
The Stagg cures himself with Dittany. ibid.  
The Snail heals herself with Hemlock. ibid.  
The Stork heals himself with Origanum. ibid.  
Spinning out of Time never made good Cloth. 80  
The Sun never sets on the Tumontian Dominions. 83  
A strange story of two Saturnian Merchants. 91  
The Saturnian in the extremes of Love and Hatred, of Virtue and Vices. 94  
The Saturnians may prescribe rules of Prudence to all Mankind. 95  
Of late Smatterers in Policy. 99  
Of the Sympathetic Powder, and the rare virtues thereof. 103  
The Saturnian more subject to jealousy and revenge then other Nations. 102  
Strings made of Wolf's guts spoil all Music. 116  
Strange things of the Wolf. ibid.  
Soldiers in Peace like Chimneys in Summer. 127  
Symptoms when Bees are sick. 138  
Some hold Honey to be the sweat of the Heavens, others the jelly of the Stars, others the quintessence of the Air. ibid.  
How a Swarm of Bees built an Altar. 144   

T  
The Torments of Hell. 40  
Two notable Sayings in disparagement of Women. 55  
Two famous Examples of the gallantry of Women. 60  
Talk, one of the gretest delights of Women. 66  
The Tumontian in his Counsels follows the motion of Saturn, in his actions of Mercury. 67  
The Tumontian excused for the blood he spilt in conquering the New World. 70  
The Tumontian Monarchy like a Cloak made up of patches. 84  
The Tumontian serves no Prince but his own. ibid.  
The Tumontian trades no where but into his own King's Country. ibid.  
The Tumontian in perpetual Feud with the common Enemy. ibid.  
A Town in Saturnia where there are Mountains without Wood, Sea without Fish, Men without Faith, and Women without shame. 88  
Tall men like houses five stories high, the upper room worst furnished. 111  
A strange Tale of an Ass. 119  
A Tale of a Crow. ibid.  
Though the Thread of a man's life be never so well spun, yet it hath many bracks. 121  
Till Beans blossom, Bees never go abroad. 137  
The difference 'twixt separated Souls and Angels, and how they agree. 145   

V  
Of the vexations and perturbances of spirit that Man is subject unto. 7  
The Variety of labours that go to make Bread. 14  
The Vexation of spirit Mankind is subject unto above other cretures. 68  
The Volganians beat their wifes duly once a week. 68  
The Virtues of Deer. 63  
When all Vices grow old, Covetousness grows young in Man. 90  
Of the Vices in Saturnia. 91  
Of the Vices of Aetonia. III The high Vanities of Man. 145  
A visional Dream. 32  
The Various torments of Hell. 40  
Variety of new torments in Hell. ibid.   

W  
The Wisest of Mortals is he who controls his humours. In the Epist.  
Warr a a Fire struck in the Devil's Tinderbox. 10  
Women of purer stuff then Men. 56  
Of rare Women. 57  
Of good and bad Women. 58  
The Woman and Fortress which begin to parley are half won. 66  
Women held by some to be of an inferior Creation, and not the same species. 54  
A Woman can wash her hands so long in a Basin of clear water that she cannot foul, Man not. 56  
Women praised and dispraised. 57  
The Wars with Hydraulia cost the Tumontian a hundred and twenty millions of Treasure. 72  
The Ways Hydraulia found out to counterfeit the Tumontian Coyn. ibid.  
The Wild Boar heals himself with Ivy. 76  
What the Eye of a Bat is to the Sun, the Understanding of Man is to God. 83  
The great Wiliness of a Fox in sundry Fables. 88  
Of the Weaknesses and frailties of Man. 121    

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1. OCcult Physic; or, The Principles in Nature Anatomised, by Philosophical operations, taken from Experience, in three Book; by W. Williams, in 8ᵒ  
2. Philanglus, Some sober Inspections made into the Carriages and Consults of the late Long Parliament; by jam▪ Howell Esq in 8ᵒ  
3. Metamorphosis Anglorum; or, Reflections Historical and Political upon the late Change of Government in England, from the Death of Oliver Lord Protector to this present time; by S. D. Gent.  
4. That renowned Piece, Mr. howel's Dodona's Grove, translated into the new refined French by one of the prime Wits in the Academy of Blaux Esprits in Paris, in 4ᵒ  
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