THE true PETITION OF COLONEL hume, As it was presented to the Lords assembled in the high Court of PARLIAMENT: Being than one of the poor Brethren of that famous Foundation of the Charter House.  
Declaring to their Lordships, that if they would be pleased to employ him for the business in Ireland, and let him have but sixscore, or an hundred Instruments of War, which he should give direction for to be made; he would ruin the Rebels all within three Months, or else lose his head.  
Likewise he will undertake within three Months, if their Lordships would but give credence to him, to bring in by Sea, being furnished with a complete Navy, to his majesty and the Parliament 20. Millions of Money.  
London, Printed for John Giles, 1642.   

TO THE RIGHT honourable THE LORDS AND OTHERS Assembled in the High Court of PARLIAMENT.  
The humble Petition of Tobias Hume, one of the poor brethren of that famous Foundation of the Charter House.  
Right Honourable and Noble Lords,  
I do humbly entreat to know why your Lordships do slight me, as if I were a fool or an ass: I tell you truly I have been abused to your Lordships by some base fellows; but if I did know them, I would make them repent it, were they never so great men in your sight; for I can do the King's Majesty and my country better service than the best soldier or Colonel in this Land, or in all Christendom, which now it is a great wonder unto me, that your Lordships do suffer so many unskilful soldiers to go over for Ireland, to do the King's majesty's service, that are not able to lead a Company, neither do they know what belongs to a soldier; and yet for all this, your Lordships leave me out, that am able to do the King's Majesty better service than all the soldiers that are now to be sent over for Ireland: So that if your Lordships please to pay for the making of a hundred or six score Instruments of war, which I am to have along with me, if you please to send me for Ireland, and make me Commander of all those men that are now to go over for Ireland, I will undertake to get in all Ireland in three or four Months at the farthest, or else if I do it not, I will give them leave to take off my head, if my Commanders will be as forward as myself, and yet I will do all things with great discretion. And I do here protest, I will do my King and my country most true and faithful service, and give the first onset upon the rebels in Ireland, to the honour of all England: and therefore if you will not believe me, it is none of my fault, when I speak the truth: But if you will not give me the command of all the soldiers that go for Ireland at this time, I will not go for Ireland, but I will go for another country, where I will have a greater command than all this which I have desired from your Lordships. But I yet live in hope that you will be pleased to believe me, and help me that live in great misery, by reason that I have maintained a thousand soldiers in this City to do the King service in Ireland, and this I have done seven weeks together, which hath made me very poor, so that I have pawned all my best clothes, and have now no good garment to wear.  
And therefore I humbly beseech you all Noble Lords, that you will not suffer me to perish for want of food, for I have not one penny to help me at this time to buy me bread, so that I am like to be starved for want of meat and drink, and did walk into the fields very lately to gather snails in the nettles, and brought a bag of them home to eat, and do now feed on them for want of other meat, to the great shame of this land, and those that do not help me, but rather command their servants to keep me out of their gates, and that is the Lord of Essex, and the Lord of Devonshire; but I thank the good Lord of Pembroke, and the Lord Keeper, and the Earl of Hartford, and my Lord Major, and some other Knights, as Sir John Worstenholm & others do help me sometimes with a meal's meat, but not always, for I eat snails and brown bread, and drink small beer, and some times water, and this I have thought good to make known unto your Lordships, hoping that your Honours will help me now with some relief, or else I shall be forced presently to run out of the land to serve another King, and do him all the great service, which I would rather do unto my own most gracious King, who would not suffer me to want, if I had money to bring me unto his Majesty, for I would do him true and faithful service in Ireland, and can do him very great service; if his Majesty want money, I will undertake to fetch his Majesty home twenty millions of gold and silver in ready coin in the space of twelve or fourteen weecks: If this service be not worthy of meat and drink, judge you that are grave & wise Lords of the Parliament, for I will make no more Petitions unto your Lordships, for I have made many, but have not got any answer of them, and therefore if your Lordships will neither entertain me, nor give me money to buy me meat and drink, I will go with as much speed as I can into other Countries, rather than I will be starved here. For I protest I cannot endure this misery any longer, for it is worse to me then when I did eat horse flesh, and bread made of the bark of trees, mingled with hay dust, and this was in Parno in List-land, when we were beleaguered by the Polonians: but now to proceed further, I have offered to show your Lordships my instruments of war, and many other things which I can do fit for the wars, and yet other base fellows are set forward before me that cannot do the King's Majesty that great service which I can do him, and therefore I say it is a great shame to all this land, the Lord of Pembroke, the Lord Craven, and many other Lords and Knights and Gentlemen both in this Country and other Countries beyond the seas, as Grave Maurice, the marquess of Brunningburgh, and lastly the King of Swetheland, they all know that I am an old experienced soldier, and have done great service in other foreign Countries, as when I was in Russia, I did put thirty thousand to flight, and killed six or seven thousand Polonians by the art of my instruments of war when I first invented them, and did that great service for the Emperor of Russia; I do hereby tell you truly I am able to do my King and Country the best service of any man in Christendom, and I will maintain it with my art and skill, and with my sword in the face of all my enemies that do abuse me to the Lords of the Parliament and others, and if I did know them▪ I would fight with them where they dare, and also disgrace them, I speak this, because I do hear that some of them have disgraced me unto some of the great Lords of the Parliament. Let those soldiers argue with me, and I will make fools of them all for matter of war, although they have persuaded the Lords to slight me, and therefore I say again, they are not able to do the King that good service which I can do him, both by sea and land.  
And so I humbly take my leave of your Lordships, being very desirous to speak with all the Lords of the Parliament, if they will vouchsafe to speak with me before I go out of this Land, for I am not able to endure this misery any longer, for I want money, meat and drink and clothes, and therefore I pray your Lordships to pardon my boldness, and help me with some relief if you please, or else I must of necessity go into other Countries presently, and so I most humbly take my leave for this time, and rest  
Your lordship's most humble servant to do your Honours all the good service I can, for I have many excellent qualities I give God thanks for it. Tobias Hume colonel.  
FINIS.