THE JACOBITES HUDIBRAS, CONTAINING The Late KING'S DECLARATION IN TRAVESTY.  
LONDON, Printed for Abel Roper at the Mitre near Temple-Bar. 1692.   

TO THE READER.  
TO Triumph over Ruin and Misery, is but an unmanly fort of Insult; and in the Case of Princes, possibly, it may bear a vet harder Name. And therefore this following piece of Burlesque will, perhaps▪ be liable to fall under some Censure on that Account. We confess indeed that Charge at first glance may seem to lie against us, had we not this Justification on our side▪ viz. That the late King's Declaration, the Subject of our grinning Meeter, is a Piece so disingenuous (to give it no severer an Epithet) that the coursest Doggerel is a Style fit for it. For not to mention any other notorious Weaknesses in it, (as being somewhat more pardonable) the utter silence throughout it in the least Excuse or Apology for the Misgovernment through his whole Four Years Reign, not so much as one shadow of the least Error acknowledg`d, appears so hardened an Original of Popish Bigotry and Confidence, that the coursest Treatment is the best it deserves.  
From this Honest Vindication we have adventured to expose that sometimes High Jacobite, but at present, Fallen Dagon, in a little plain Raillery, as indeed the suitablest Dress for it. For truly the whole Declaration, if designed for that Great End, viz. The Sweetening and Softening three Kingdoms into his Restoration; certainly the Penmen and Compilers of it could never be in Earnest; for considering how they have managed their Arguments that way, the whole Piece take it quite through, must undoubtedly be intended for a Jest. As such therefore, to use the old course Proverb, Like to like, quo' the Devil to the Collier, We have very pertinently Rigged it up in this Comical Travesty.   

THE PREFACE.  
JAMES R.  

AS late near Port of Grace de Haure,  
By Providence Fore or Backside Favor,  
With our Old Irish Troops encamped,  
Those thin-worn Under-souls new vamped;  
By Aid of French Dragoons recruited;  
The Famous Dear Apostles Booted,  
Monsieur and Teague a loving Couplet,  
Our ever faithful Dogs in Doublet,  
Opening full mouthed to Jacobite Whistle,  
And linked as close as Rose and Thistle;  
We lay expecting Wind and Tide,  
Cross Herring-pond to make a stride,  
For the late Grand Descent Ding Dung,  
No less than Thirty thousand strong;  
All Loyal Hands for the Great Work,  
Monsieur true Steel to James and Turk;  
And Teague, resolved by this bold ●lim Trick,  
To patch up his lost Fame at Lim'rick;  
To 〈◊〉 the William 〈◊〉 Sons of Who●●●,  
And pay the Running Boyne old Scores.   

Whilst thus Grand Fleet at Breast Equipping,  
With lesser Fry of Transport Shipping,  
Well Manned and Rigged from Star to Larboard,  
Waiting we lay in mouth of Harbour;  
To pave and smooth our way before us,  
And tune all sweetly into Chorus,  
Wisely to cheer our Subjects Loyal,  
We published Declaration Royal,  
Their puling Stomaches to prepare  
For their expected Bill of Fare:  
This Learned Piece, Penned, let me tell ye,  
By Reverend Bishops Ellis, E.- y,  
To their Immortal Zeal's Applause,  
Joint Brother Champions of our Cause;  
For Jacobite Conveyance printed,  
And for our Royal Standard minted.   

But (to our Grief of Heart be't spoken)  
Our Wind-bound Cause and Measures broken,  
Our Great Intrigues (alas) unravelled,  
And all our Councils stuck and gravelled;  
(For mighty Hopes too oft fall short all,  
And Great Designs are things but Mortal,)  
We hear some Miscreants Malcontented,  
Have our great Edict mispresented;  
Traduced our high Imperial Scribble,  
With the hard Names of Dull and Feeble,  
Filled up with Quibble, Crack and Flaw,  
As weak as Heretic Cobw●b Law;  
Our Declaration, called by some  
Sour Meat, by others Sugar-Plumb.  
Nay, some whose Tongues we wish Besh— n,  
Stick not to say 'twas only written  
To tickle Trout, and Bait for Gudgeon,  
And all to soften Popish Dudgeon.  
In fi●e, a Hocus Pocus Tool;  
What not! all turned to Ridicule!   

But to unmask the whole Delusion,  
Both for our Justice, their Confusion:  
Since so many Clod-pates, God knows,  
Can make no Sense of it in Prose:  
We have thought fit, for more effectual  
Enlightening British Intellectual,  
To troll the glibber and the sweeter,  
To have it softened into Meeter;  
Resolved to try, if it can chime  
More Sense and Reason tagged with Rhyme.  
Besides sublimer Charms invite us  
To choose this Glorious way to right us.  
As Poetry's exalted Quality  
T'Heroick Fame gives Immortality▪  
Our Declaration to rehearse  
In lofty Monumental Verse;  
How can we fill a nobler Journal,  
T'enstall our Memory Eternal.   
Given at our Rising Camp near Haure de Grace, in the last Year of our Reign. Melfort.   

Declaration.  

WHereas 
* WHereas the most Christian King in pursuance of the many obliging Promises he has made Us, of giving Us his Effectual Assistance for the recovering of our Kingdoms, and in order to it, has lent Us so many of his Troops, as may be abundantly sufficient to untie the hands of our Subjects, and make it safe for them to return to their Duty.  Our ever Dearest Joy,  
Lewis that Tory Rory Boy,  
Lewis the Great and Absolute,  
(Our own beloved Attribute!  
An Attribute, that Darling Dearing,  
As cost us once Three Crowns the wearing)  
Our kindest and almost Twin-Brother  
(So like you'll scarce know one from tother)  
Has lent us his kind Help most Christian  
Against the Williamite Philistian;  
To maul their Orange-Tree, and try a  
Touch with their little great Goliath;  
In mutual Link like Thong and Buckle,  
To bring our Enemies to Truckle,  
Supplied us all our Tools and Tackle  
Our Friends t'untie, and Foes to s●a●k●e.   

Accordingly with Force t'Equip us,  
And Fleet a Thousand strong to Ship us,  
For Three Apostate Crowns Subjection,  
And Triple Diadem's Resurrection;  
We are resolved with Cause most hopeful,  
With Arm Puissant, Heart brim Pope-full,  
To give the Heretics Bastinado;  
With Army French, and French Armada,  
Recover Kingdoms Renegado.  
These Forces lent us to Restore us,  
And fairly drive the World before us,  

* And has notwithstanding for the present, according to our desire, purposely declined sending over Forces so Numerous, as might raise any jealousy in the Minds of our Good Subjects. All which Foreign Troops, as soon as we shall be fully settled in the quiet and peaceable Possession of our Kingdoms, We do hereby promise to send back.  More we could borrow, if need were,  
For Lewis has enough to spare.  
But for good Reasons why and wherefore  
These shall be all we want, or care for.   

And now for cheering Subjects loving,  
Wisely and prudently removing  
All Jealousy from French Invasion▪  
(As God-wot they've but small occasion;)  
Besides the Honour we have about us,  
And the no Cause they have to doubt us,  
We promise when we readvance  
To English Throne by Power of France,  
Those Champions for our Jus Divinum,  
Helped by our Friends above to join'em,  
The worthy Heroes Dead, and gone all,  
St. Ruth, St. Coleman, St. Tyrconnel,  
Those Saints in our great Truth departed,  
And still in Heaven t▪ our Cause truehearted,  
Those Fight, and these Interceding,  
Have brought home Dame and Master Reading:  
When Fleur de liss has humbled Lion,  
And raised the Walls of our fallen Zion:  
We'll send back every Mother's Son:  
These Monsieurs when our Work is done  
Upon Our Royal Word be't spoken,  
(That Faith, you know, was never broken)  
With nimble Vade, presto, hocus,  
One Puff shall sweep the Trooping Locusts.  
Nay to ensure our Word yet faster,  
Lewis himself, Our Lord and Master,  
Shall kindly condescend to be  
Our honourable Guarrantee.  
Him w' have engaged by Oath and Vow;  
(Bonds which he never kept till now;)  
But we have power to tie him more  
Than all Mankind could do before.   

What though you know his Hopes do fly  
At Universal Monarchy;  
(That blessed Work well-nigh gone through  
Had we but held our Throne till now.)  
Which highest Pinnacle of Glory  
When you shall see him perch before ye,  
And which, when we remount our Seat,  
Our helping Hand shall soon complete;  
(Our least Return for Crown Restored,  
To lend him ours, who lent his Sword;)  
In that great Day, that finishing Struck,  
When France all Christendom shall Yoke:  
What though all Europe go to Po●,  
England's alone th'excepted Spot:  
We and our Heirs the Throne shall sit on.  
He means no Harm to little Britain,  
So far from the least thought to Shackle us,  
(Believe it spoke with Voice Oraculous)  
Britain sleeps safe, no Chains upon her,  
Secured by Lewis Guardian Honor.  
Then safely trust what Sacred true is;  
Nor doubt your Faithful James nor Lewis.   


* Tho an Affair of this Nature speaks for itself, nor do We think Ourselves at all obliged to say any thing more upon this occasion, than, That We come to Assert our Just Rights, and to Deliver our People from the Oppression they lie under; yet when we consider how Miserably many of Our Subjects were cheated into the late Revolution by the Art of Ill Men, and particularly by the Prince of Orange's Declaration, which was taken upon Trust, and easily believed then but since appear● notoriously False in all the parts of it, consisting no less of Assertions that have been evidently disproved, than of Promises that were never intended to be performed. To prevent the like Delusions for the time to come, etc.  But why (as if our Cause could droop)  
Do we descend so low, to stoop  
To Arguing, or Cases stating?  
It looks like poor Capitulating.  
Our Friends t'indear, and Foes to Fright,  
We bring that thundering Title Right.  
Right, which whenever it please to shine,  
With that huge Attribute, Divine,  
Can say all, do all, and defy all;  
And no Body must ask it, why all?  
What is't it can't do, great things, small things,  
Make Subjects nothing, Monarches all things?  
Besides we come with Zeal Inspirant,  

* And doubtless from the Observation of the Temper and Complexion, the Methods and Maxims of the present Usurper, from the Steps he has already taken, when it was most necessary for him to give no distaste to the People, as well as from the Nature of all Usurpation, which can never be supported, but by the same ways of Fraud and Violence by which it was set up, there is all the reason in the World to believe, that the beginning of this Tyranny, like the five first Years of Nero, is like to prove the mildest part of it; and all they have yet suffered, is but the beginning of the Miseries which those very Men, who were the great Promoters of the Revolution, may yet live to see and feel, etc.  To free you from the Yoke of Tyrant:  
To ease you from your Shackle-bearing,  
For our true Orient Bracelets wearing.  
That worse than Nero in Possession,  
Th'Usurpers Reign all vile Oppression,  
All Cloven Foot; the Nations Curse  
Too great, and will be ten times worse.  
Poor Cheated and Deluded Nation!  
Nothing in th' Orange Declaration,  
So far from the least Good Intent,  
Either performed, or ever meant,  
But false, all Lies in every Article,  
Line, Syllable, each part and Particle;  
But how or where! so poor a Thing's  
Below the Cognizance of Kings.  
However for authentic proof,  
We say 't' all False, and that's enough:  
And what we say! is Demonstration  
As clear as Transubstantiation.   

We must confess we once run from ye,  
And turned our Royal Bum upon ye,  
That Bum which to have made us come again,  
You should have kissed t'have brought us home again.  
What tho at that abrupt Departure,  
We broke up House, and threw up Charter;  
Stripped all our own Regalia; nay,  
Threw even our own Great Seal away:  
But what of that! what if we had gone  
As far as honest Presto John;  
Or to the farthest Turkish Town;  
And left you all to hang or drown?  
(To Turkish Town! Yes, welcome there  
For Lewis sake, we had met good Cheer.)  
'Tis true, indeed, our scamp'ring Dance  

† Our arrival in France, the only part in Europe to which we could retire with safety,  Was only into sweet dear France:  
To Monsieur bound with Oaths most godly,  
With th'rest o'th'World we stood so oddly,  
That troth, for private Reasons told us  
France was the only place could hold us.  
But what if we had run to th' Devil!  
What then! must you be so uncivil!  
'Tis not alas, our running Saunter,  
Nor all your Abdication Banter,  
That can excuse a Fault so spiteful  
As dispossessing Prince so Rightful.  
You've read of old of Bloody Work  

* For all wise Men ought, and all good Men will take care of their Posterity; and therefore it is to be remembered, that if it should please Almighty God, as one of the severest Judgements upon these Kingdoms, for the many Rebellions and Perjuries they have been guilty of, so far to permit the Continuation of the present Usurpation, that we should not be restored during our Life time, yet an indisputable Title to the Crown will survive in the Person of our dearest Son the Prince of Wales, our present Heir apparent, and his Issue, and for default of that, in the Issue of such other Sons as we have great reason to hope (the Queen being now with Child,) we may yet leave behind us: And what the Consequences of that is like to be, may easily be understood by all that are not strangers to the long and bloody Contentions between the two Houses of York and Lancaster:  'Twixt House of Lancaster and York.  
And what if for some unknown Crime,  
Heaven, angry Heaven, in Our life time,  
No doubt, to Scourge ungrateful Nation,  
Shall not ordain our Restoration.  
(Three undone Kingdoms Loss irreparable  
With all its Train of Woes inseparable!)  
However if We fail (pray mind us!)  
We leave our little Wales behind us.  
Besides, as Matron wise have telled her,  
Our Queen has got a York in K●lder.  
A York unless (what Heaven forbid)  
Our loss should make her lose her Kid.  
Think O what dangers then you run ye  
With th' endless Plagues entailed upon ye,  
When Wales, young Sprig, 'twixt Rose and Thistle,  
Shall once grow up its Thorns to bristle.   

But now t'allay our Subjects Frights,  
And set their little Wits to rights;  
From all their dread of Hemp to chear'em,  
(Nor fear their friends when they've none near'em)  
We issue forth our General Pardon  
So large, the like was never heard on:  
Mercy so vast and so unbounded,  
That but to hear the Fame on't sounded  
Our Enemies shall be all confounded.   

Only some Rods in Piss are kept  
For these few following we Except.  
As first Lords, Prelates, Peers, (what not,)  

* Except the Persons following, viz. Duke of Ormond, Marquis of Winchest. Earl of Sund. Earl of, etc. Dr. Tillotson Dean of Cant. Dr. etc.— Hunt Fisherman.  All Eyesores to our Cause, (God wot,)  
Mounting to Thirty four in number,  
All to rid off for useless Lumber;  
Excluded for substantial Reason,  
Some for Estates, and some for Treason.  
This List with Dukes and Lords i'th'Van  
Ends with poor Hunt the Fisherman.  
For we have sworn on Virgin Psalter,  
With the same consecrated Halter,  
To truss our little Man of Fish up,  
Hanged cheek by joul with great Archbishop.   

Next we except a sort of Vermin,  
In Hood and Scarlet, Coif and Ermine:  

* Except also all Persons who as Judges or Jurymen, or otherwise had a hand in the Barbarous Murder of Mr. John Ashton, and Mr. Cross, or of any others who have been illegally Condemned and Executed for their Loyalty to us:  The very next up Holborn Trudges  
Those Butchering Jurymen and Judges;  
All hands in Cross and Ashton's Murder  
We have sworn to troop to th'Devil and further.  
Nay th' Hick's-Hall Dons must have a rally  
For some Old-Baily Scores on Tally:  
Whom we'll make bold to call t'account  
For giving of our Friends a Mount;  
For trussing Burghlers, noosing Pads,  
Those honest Abdicated Lads;  
Who in Allegiance firm and duteous,  
To keep good Conscience sound, and true t'us,  
To drink our Health, and Damn the Dutch,  
Perhaps have took a Cup too much:  
Or forced, for daily Bread and clothes,  
To take Purse t'escape taking Oaths.  
But Woe that Criminal Wretch so tardy,  
Whose crying Gild has been so hardy,  
To dare to Try, Condemn, or Hang,  
Our best best Friends, our Dear-Joy Gang;  
Our Rapparee and Teague-land Breed,  
Of our own true Shalvation Creed;  
Be't doomed with Vengeance Magisterial,  
That Sin 'gainst Majesty Imperial,  
That Sin our heaviest Rods shall handle,  
Damned trebly, by Bell Book and Candle.  
In short, th'whole Long-robed Mouths of Law,  
Must take their Turns at Hang and Draw;   

When for these Capital Black Sins  
We'have stripped our Dons in Coney-skins,  
Our next uncasing work, Good Sirs,  
Is mauling of Mechanic Furs:  

* Provided always, That all Magistrates who expect any Benefit of Our Gracious Pardon, shall immediately after Notice of our Landing, make some Public Manifestation of their Allegiance to Us, and of their Submission to Our Authority; and also Publish and cause to be Proclaimed this our Declaration as ●oon as it shall come to their Hands, etc.  All Sparks in Office, Town or City,  
Sheriffs, Bailiffs, all shut out from Pity;  
Mayors, Aldermen, the Kingdom thorough,  
From London Great, to small Queenborough;  
Who, when we first set Foot in Nation,  
Shall not in ample Acclamation,  
With Bells, Huzzahs, and Bonfires Greet us,  
Burn Caps, and run stark Mad to meet us:  
Nay even that Hour we step from Water,  
(What tho' they venture Necks, no matter!)  
Immediately by Proclamation  
Publish this Royal Declaration;  
All such from hopes of Grace we Bilk,  
And Damn as black as Buttermilk;  
That is, by civil Computation,  
Just all the Magistrates i'th' Nation.  
Yes, and for Reasons strong and ample;  
For making, by this wise Example,  
Whole Corporations Tyburn Martyrs,  
Is th'easiest way to Forfeit Charters.  
Our Mercy of Gigantic Size,  

† And all Spies, and such as have berrayed Our Councils during our late Absence from England, that by an early return to their Duties, and by any Signal Mark of it, as by Seizing to Our Use, or Delivering into our Hands any of Our Forts, or by bringing over to Us any Ships of War, or Troops in the Usurper's Army, or any new raised and Armed by themselves, or by any other Eminent Good Service, according to their several Opportunities and Capacities, shall manifest the Sincerity of their Repentance, shall not only have their respective Pardons immediately passed under the Great Seal of England, but shall otherwise be Considered and Rewarded by Us, as the Merit of their Case shall require.  So Great, forgives our very Spies:  
All who our Councils have betrayed,  
Or Royal Secrets open laid:  
Be it a Sin so great (suppose it)  
Peeping in Father Petres Closet:  
Nay, Crime so bold as to tell Tales  
Of our Sweet Babe the Prince of Wales.  
These and worse Sins all pardoned stand,  
Provided when our Forces Land,  
That Grace to merit from our Hand,  
They purchase our kind Smiles and Favour,  
According to their Good Behaviour.  
For Instance some such Service do us,  
As bring a Ship of War over to us;  
Betray some Town or Fort; or Charm ye  
Some Troop over from th'Usurper's Army.  
Do this, and our Good Graces reap;  
And well they buy their Necks so cheap.  
Nay, for a Spill more and above,  
We'll pay half Money, not all Love,  
Resolving to Regain our Crowns,  
As Lewis Buys his Conquered Towns.   

And lastly, we Exclude all those  
(A Small Exception 'tis, God knows)  
From the first Minute of our Landing,  
All General Pardon notwithstanding,  
Shall dare do any Act or Thing  
T'oppose Restoring of your King.  
This Lash the Black-Coat Tribe shall Scourge ye,  
For this last Swoop takes all the Clergy;  
From Haughty Mitred Prelate, down  
To plain Sir John in tattered Gown,  
Poor Parson, who rings in the People  
With Candlestiks in Country Steeple;  
All that in Heretic Prayers shall dare ye  
To Pray-Success to Will. and Mary.  
Nor shall this maul the Pastor's Hide  
Alone, but Fleece the Sheep beside.  

* And We do hereby strictly Forewarn and Prohibit any of Our Subjects whatsoever, either by Collecting or Paying any of the Illegal Taxes lately imposed upon the Nation, or any part of Our Revenue, or by any other ways to Abet or Support the present Usurpation.  For woe to all their smarting Backs,  
Shall dare to pay one Penny Tax;  
For that, you're told in Declaration,  
Is to Abet the Usurpation.  
Thus take the Kingdom round, Poor Soul,  
He Forfeits Head that Pays but Poll.  
To sum up all, when we begin,  
(Our Mild Forgiving Hand once in,)  
Our tenderhearted Inclination,  
Excepts no more than All the Nation,  
As bound by Romish Oath Religious,  
To act with Mercy thus Prodigious.   


† And We do hereby further Declare and Promise, That We will Protect and Maintain the Church of England, as it is now by Law established, in all their Rights, Privileges and Possessions: And that upon all Vacancies of Bishoprics and other Dignities and Benefices within our Disposal, care shall be taken to have them filled with the most Worthy of their own Communion.  And now our Church of England Greeting,  
With some few Honey-words at meeting;  
Some small Civility Complimental;  
Nor with least Reservation Mental,  
To talk Romantickly, or fright ye  
With Boasted Wonders over-mighty,  
Intended by us to Protect it:  
Because we'd have you not expect it.  
Know then with the same Word Most Royal,  
Of which already you've had Trial,  
Your Heretic Rights maintained devoutly,  
We'll act your Church's Champion stoutly.  
(To speak in Style some call Ironic)  
We'll it with Orthodox Canonic▪  
Secured in all their Privileges▪  
And this we vouch in Verbo Regis.  
But as to either School or College,  
Or Academy; we acknowledge,  
Our Declaration (Mum!) says nought.  
And why, because with Wise forethought,  
Forth'old Substantial Maudlin Breed,  
(Under the Ro●e) we have decreed  
To make Them Nurs'ries, to supply us  
With Father Teagues and Obadiahs.  

* And we do hereby farther declare▪ That all Officers or Soldiers by Sea or Land, now engaged in the Usurper's Service, who shall after notice of our Landing, at any time before they engage in any Fight▪ or Battle against our Forces, quit the said Illegal Service, and return to their Duty, shall not only have their respective Pardons, but shall likewise be fully satisfied and paid all the Arrears due to them from the Usurper and that even the Foreigeers themselves, etc.  Now You, th' Heroic Men o' th' Blade,  
Professors of the Martial Trade,  
With Hearts most stout, and Brains most shallow,  
And so more fit for present swallow,  
To quit th' Usurper we exhort all;  
Th' Usurper whom we hate most mortal.  
And why, because he takes delight in  
Our natural Abhorrence, ●ighting▪  
Who ever shall the Tyrant shame,  
And come to Gentle I— s the Lamb;  
Besides our unknown Favours showed 'em,  
We'll pay 'em all th' Usurper owed 'em:  
Their whole Arrears, each Doit that's due.  
Ay and pay Lewis Army too▪  
A pretty Score, when both Counts meet,  
His some odd Pounds for Land and Fleet:  
A lumping roaring thundering Sum,  
And Reck'ning-day must one day come:  
But with our dear sweet Face t' enlighten ye,  
Let not that paltry Trifle frighten ye.  
Nay and considering what heap  
Of Blessings from our Reign you'll reap,  
It is a pennyworth dog cheap;  
Which you'll, no doubt, pay every Farthing  
And find you're Saviours by the bargain.   

And lastly, for a smart Conclusion,  
For all our snarling Foes Confusion;  
One parting, home, dead doing Blow,  
As all Objections shall o'erthrow;  
We promise you, (and mark us rightly,  

* And generally we shall delight to spend the remainder of our Reign, [as we have always designed since we came to the Crown] in studying to do every thing that may contribute to the Re-establishment of the Greatness of the English Monarchy upon its old and true Foundation, etc.  A Vow to which we'll hold most tightly)  
By our old Model, stamp and Charter  
To Reign, no flincher and no starter,  
In Church and State, Our Wi●e and 〈◊〉▪  
Our last remaining Thread shall be  
All of a piece with our first Spinning,  
As we designed from the Beginning.  
If this Plaindealing will not win ye,  
In troth, I think, the Devil's in ye.   
FINIS.