TRICKS OF YOUTH, OR, THE WALKS OF ISLINGTON AND HOGSDON, WITH The Humours of Woodstreet-Compter.  
A Comedy, As it was pulickly Acted nineteen days together with Extraordinary Applause.  
Never Printed before.  
Written by Tho. jordan, Gent.  Carpere vel noli nostra, vel ede tua, Mart. Epig. 
London, Printed by Authority for the use of the Author. 166●   

To the Succour and Security of all Civil Wit and Learning: The justly honoured, ESQUIRE etc.  
SIR.  

THE time is come again, in which we may  
Use Tricks of Youth, and safely see a Play;  
Hear Tavern-Musick, and such harmless things  
As neither wrongs God's Precept, nor the Kings:  
For all those Recreations are set sree  
In sixty one, were damned in forty three,  
By those Trienial Traitors, who agreed  
To make the Public Faith weigh down the Creed.  
When Ten Commandments they did deface  
And put a League and Covenant in the place.  
When in contempt of Spiritual Affairs,  
In one day they cried down Prelates and Players,  
But now the times are well returned that we  
Under the Sacred Beams of Sovereignty,  
May in our Comic Numbers sit and sing  
Peace to the People, Honour to the King:  
Which aptly doth administer Occasion  
For me to represent this Dedication,  
To your good hands, whose Patronage is fit  
To Crown the Play, and add long life to Wit.  
For let men's Wit be ne'er so well expressed,  
'Tis witty acceptation makes the jest.  
This Play consists of Humour, Tricks of Youth,  
Done by known Persons, Fancy mixed with Truth.  
Which is ambitious of no higher Fame  
Or preservation, but your Noble Name,  
That, singly can sufficiently prefer  
This Poem, and   
Your humble Honourer, THO. JORDAN.   

A Prologue to the KING.  

SUre such a Glory, so Serene, so Bright,  
Started from Chaos when God called for Light;  
For like that glittering Birth of Beams, you do  
Transluminate this Western world, from you  
Our Saint, our Soul, our Sovereign, our King,  
We live and grow, as the Sun brood's the Spring,  
Then (as in Loyalty obliged) 'tis fit  
We render part of our small Stock, our Wit,  
Which hath so long been cramped under their rage,  
Who durst not see their actions on the Stage;  
That numbed with a stupidity, we fear  
We shall assault the softness of your ear.  
We have been so perplexed with Gun and Drum,  
Look to your Hats and Cloaks, the Red-coats come.  
D'amboys is routed, Hotspur quits the field,  
Falstaff's out-filched, all in Confusion yield,  
Even Auditor and Actor, what before  
Did make the Red Bull laugh, now makes him roar.  
We curse the Misery in which our Trade is,  
And are imprisoned, but our large sized Ladies  
(Thinking to escape them) are torn by the throats  
And like Wine Porters put in Petticoats)  
Dragged to the Muse for Plotters; But Your Presence  
Hath nullified their power, and given us Essence.  
Till YOU came hither all was so forlorn,  
We wished we had been buried, or unborn;  
All things were Retrograde, the Night and Day  
Were shrinking to Prima Materia.  
We lived in such a strange distorted Age,  
Men durst not see their Figures on the Stage;  
But furious as the deformed Lady was,  
Who for revenge broke her own Looking-glass,  
They cracked our Mirror, and now none but YOU  
Dread Majesty, can mend, or make us new.   
T. J.   

To his much deserving Friend Mr. Thomas jordan, on his excellent Comedy, entitled, The Walks of Islington and Hogsdon, With the Humours of Woodstreet-Compter.  

HOw have I tasked myself that now must clear  
A debt that's due almost this twenty year?  
And, by your lárge improvements since, do find  
You much before, and myself cast behind,  
In such a weak condition, who can  
Expect full payment from a Bankrupt man?  
Yet know no empty shadows had the Art,  
To catch my praises, but your known desert;  
Though love obligeth love, the nobler tye  
Of worth by knowledge is more fast and high;  
With Poetry you have Music; and as soon  
As you have made the Song, you set the Tune;  
Where both in measure so exactly dance,  
Numbers court Numbers, Airs do Words advance;  
Had I but room, I could declare how clean  
Your Fancy wrought, which did adorn your Scene  
In several Plots, and Plays, this here expressed,  
Will speak the noble Lineage of the rest.  
These Walks 'twixt Iflington and Hogsdon will,  
(Like those 'twixt Tempe and Parnassus Hill)  
Show how the Muses in their sportful rage,  
Set all the Town a Walking to your Stage,  
With so much Wit, and Art, and judgement laid,  
That nineteen days together they were played.  
Now by the bounty of the Press we be  
Possessed of that which we before did see,  
Not pleasing only nineteen times read o'er,  
But nineteen Ages, or till Time's no more.   
R. C. in Art. Magist.   

The Prologue.  

THe Author (as late custom hath thought fit)  
Makes me the Prologue to his wand'ring Wit;  
The Gate into his Walks, through which you may  
Behold a petty prospect of the Play;  
A Play of Walks, or you may please to rank it,  
With that which Ladies love, A running Banquet:  
And, though the Scoene be Islington, we swear,  
We will not blow ye up with Bottle Bear;  
Cram ye with Cream and Fools, which sweetly please  
Ladies of Fortune and young Prentices,  
Who (when the Supervisors come to find 'em)  
Quake like the Custard which they leave behind 'um.  
Yet to exalt your spleen, he hath invented,  
Persons that you'll all know when they're presented;  
Nay they shall know themselves, and that is more,  
It may be then you ever knew before.  
We'll show you things not taken out of Hist'ries,  
A loyal Lover, and a grateful Mistress,  
A futile Frenchman (acted to the life)  
A jealous husband and a jocund wife,  
That kisseth, danceth, tipples like a Tench,  
A Chamber-Gallant and a Kitchenwench;  
A jovial Cobbler (or a Quibler rather)  
A Catchpole that arrested his own father;  
A crew of Ranters to the Gaol committed,  
A dead man raised, a Usurer out-witted,  
A Prison-Pimp discovered and detected,  
The Compter charactered, the Hole dissected.  
Here my Commission ends, lest I betray  
The Plot, and show the Clock work of the Play:  
Your liking will (like to the Sun's bright rays)  
Lighten the Gaol, and plant these Walks with Bays,  
Where you will find some Flowers as well as stalks,  
Then lends your hands, we'll lead you to the Walks,    

The Walks of Islington and Hogsdon, etc.  

Actus primus,  

Scoena prima.  Enter as at the Sarazens-head in Islington jack Wildblood, Frank Rivers, and Stephen Flylove; to them▪ Tavern-Boyes. Wildblood. 
BOy, Drawer.  Rivers. 
Drawer, Sirrah.  Within. 
By and by, anon, anon Sir.  Wildbls. 
Why thou Parte-per-villain,  
Drawer and Tapster,  
Are you so taken up with your Holiday Guests,  
A Gentleman can have no attendance?  Enter Drawer. Drawer. 
Attendance? Yes Sir, What Wine will it please you to drink?  Rivers. 
That is, which of three sorts will ye drink, Sack, White, or Claret.  Draw. 
Nay (with your favour Sir) we have more variety than those.  lylove. 
Well then Sir, without farther disputation, bring White Wine, and let it be right.  Drawer. 
I shall Sir.  Exit Drawer. Wild. 
Well Frank, and how doth thy little Mistress?  Rivers. 
What little Mistress?  Wild. 
Why she that is the rarest, the fairest that ever was Maid, jack Trimwel the Surgeons wife.  Rivers. 
Mum, not a word, our plots are almost discovered, I have kept some villain's company that have betrayed me to the jealous Coxcomb (her husband) she'll be here presently.  Wild. 
Who hast sent?  Rivers. 
My old Mercury, Alexander Pimpwel.  Fly. 
Look, you can no sooner talk of Pimpwel,  
But the Drawer comes; sirrah, have you any  Ent. Drawer with Wine. 
Whores in the house?  Drawer. 
I cannot tell Sir, I'll ask the Fiddlers.  Fly. 
Hark you sirrah, have you any females in the house?  Draw. 
Yes Sir, there's half a score in several rooms.  Fly. 
Why you rogue, do you doubt whether there be  
Any whores in the house then?  Rivers. 
Why thou rebel to Chastity, dost thou conceive the stock of Females virtue is so extremely wasted, that in so small a number as they are, the most part must be vicious?  Fly. 
ay, I vow if there were but two there, though my Mother were one.  Wild. 
And thy Aunt t'other.  Fly. 
I mean so, the other should be one of my Aunts.  Enter Alexander Pimpwel and Mrs. Trimwel. Rivers. 
Little Betty, your humble servant.  Riu. salutes her. Mrs. Trim. 
But hark you Frank, what Gentlemen are these?  Riu. 
Friends of mine, most dear and intimate, salute them.  Mrs. Trim. 
Oh, y'are a pretty Gentleman to send for me into company.  Wild. 
Lady your humble servant.  He kisseth. Flyl. 
Turn to me honey, and give me a kiss.  Mrs. Trim. 
Turn to you Sir, which part? my face is towards you already.  Fly. 
By the Cherry-lip of Venus, you are wondrous witty, Lady.  Mrs. Trim. 
I am glad Sir you so apprehend it.  Fly. 
'Tis not my apprehension can mend it.  Rivers. 
Is she not wondrous fair?  Fly. 
I dare not tell you,  
For should I grow so passionate in praise  
As her worth merits, I might justly fear  
Your fondness of her would suspect my friendship;  
For in this age Experience makes it common,  
He needs must love that doth but praise a woman.  Rivers. 
You wrong my friendship to suppose I doubt you.  
It were an injury to her and you;  
The base suspect from neither is exempted,  
To think that you should tempt, or she be tempted.  Wild. 
You are full of Noble confidence, I think she  
Loves you well.  Rivers. 
Or she doth well dissemble,  
But here's the woe, what bondage is he in,  
That lives in love, when all his love is sin?  Mrs. Trim. 
Gentlemen, doth my coming cause this division among you?  
Such separation in so few a number hath been unusual.  Wild. 
Your coming Lady rather makes an unity,  
Frank Rivers I'll begin a round to thy Mistress.  Rivers. 
Let it come.  Fly. 
I vow I'll pledged a brimmer:  
My Mistress hath a Rosy Cheek  Sings. 
her eyebrows they are jetty,  
Then drink off a brimmer  
to he that doth—  
For 'tis a Health to Betty.  Enter Drawer. Draw. 
Mr. Flylove is your name I pray Sir.  Fly. 
Yes, so they say Sir.  Draw. 
There's a woman without would speak with you.  Fly. 
Prithee what manner of piece is it?  Draw. 
A good homely creature Sir, some servant I believe,  
A Maidservant I dare swear she is not,  
For her nose and belly do almost meet.  Fly. 
A strange creature, either she hath a very long nose, or a terrible great belly, and now I talk of a great belly, I pray Heaven it be not the Kitchenwench I was dabbling withal once, when drink and a foolish humour possessed me (I heard she was with Child) if it be, I am undone for ever, stay I'll go out to her.  aside. Exit Drawer. Ent. Drowsy. Drowsy. 
No Sir, she'll come in to you.  Fly. 
Prithee honest Drowsy.  Drow. 
Honest Drowsy I, I was honest Drowsy before I knew you.  Fly. 
Nay but prithee Drowsy that was once honest,  
Let me speak with thee in private.  Drow. 
No Sir, you have spoken too much in private with me already, Ecc● sign, and J'll speak to you here Sir; for all your fine Lass there in the silk, I might have been as fine as she, and yaw had kept your word.  Wild. 
How now Stephen, what's the matter?  Drow. 
What's that to yaw sir,  
Pray meddle with your own business.  Fly. 
Prithee be gone 〈◊〉▪ 'tis an honest Lass comes with an errand to me.  Drow. 
An arrant, what arrant am I, I come to speak to you Sir, and to have satisfaction for the wrong you have done me, ye shall ne'er carry it to heaven nor to hell.  Enter Drawer. Fly. 
What the Devil shall I do, Drawer?  
Prithee what hast thou brought me here, a mad wench?  Drow. 
What would you have sirrah?  Gives the Boy a box o'th' ear. Draw. 
A pox o' your greasy fingers,  
An you were not with Child—  
—— If she be mad, I pray Sir do you tame her.  Exit. Rivers. 
How now Stephen, what's the business?  Drow. 
What care yaw sir, you may go to yawr Gentlewoman in the long locks again.  Mrs. Trim. 
What is the woman mad?  Drow. 
Mad! no she's as well in her wits as you are, though she is not so fine for sooth.  Enter Pimpw. Pimpw. 
Mrs. Trimwell, as I live your Husband's here.  Mrs. Trim. 
Marry Heaven defend.  Pimpw. 
He's coming up stayrs.  Mrs. Trim. 
What will become on's.  Pimpw. 
There's but one way, and that's this, here is a door goes down another pair of stayrs, whilst he comes up, do you run down, you may easily escape unseen by the backside of Islington. Let me alone here.  Fly. 
ay, I, come let's go, I think the devil haunts us to day.  Drow. 
Pray whither go yaw sir,  
I ha' more to say to you then so.  Fly. 
Prithee honest Pimpwel keep this mad wench from me, and do you pay the reckoning, you know our old rendezvouz.  Pimpw. 
Well, well, let me alone.  Exeunt Wildblood Mrs. Trim. & Flylove, manent Pimpw. with Drowsy. Drow. 
Keep me back! sirrah I'll set all my fingers in your eyes, if you keep me back, though your name be Pimpw. you shall not keep the door at this time.  They both strive. Enter Trimwel. Trimw. 
How now what's the matter? vanished, ha all vanished, only one rogue and a dirty whore, what are you, what are you, pray turn about?  Drow. 
Dirty whore, you lie like a base rogue, I am as honest a woman as thy wife, what come you for?  Trim. 
As honest as my wife, I, I, it may be so good Porpus, I speak not to you, pray Sir where is all your company gone, where's my wife.  Pimpw. 
Your wife Sir.  Trim. 
My wife Sir, I my wife Sir.  Drow. 
Dost thou call me Porpus, you may be ashamed to liken a woman to a beast, I am as like a Christian as thou art, or any of thy kin, my father was as honest a man as any in Warwickshire, and his daughter shall not be made a fool yet as.  Trim. 
where's my wife? what secret holes have you?  Pimpw. 
What do you ask me for your wife Sir, I know her not, nor you?  Enter Drawer. Draw. 
Anon, anon Sir, by and by, did you call? how now what's become of the company was here, who pays the Reckoning?  Trim. 
hay day, what have they left their Reckoning to pay, they were in mighty haste it seems?  Drow. 
Was the woman in the black Guown yawr woife Sir?  Trim. 
Yes, which way went they?  Drow. 
Marry 3. Gentlemen carried her down them stayrs,  
You were best make haste after 'em, or they'll  
Make you a Coock old afore you come, and then  
You'll lose the sport.  Trim. 
I'll follow presently, I guess where to find them.  
If I cannot overtake them.  Exit. Trim. Drow. 
By the mass I'll follow too, for my Gentleman.  
Is amongst them; I'll teach him to turn  
Up wenches bellies, and give them no satisfaction.  Exit Drow. Pimp. 
Well you have your reckoning Drawer.  Draw. 
To a farthing Sir, if you'll stay Sir, I'll give:  
You one pint, because you shall remember the  
Saracens head in Islington.  Pimp. 
I cannot stay now, I faith sirrah, but next time  
I come this way.  Draw. 
Well Sir, you are welcome, by and by, I come,  
I come.  Exit Draw. Pimpw. 
So, so, a bad shift's better than none; oh the rage his head is filled with for his wife, and the belly full of vexation she has to find Mr. Flylove. Pox of all fools, I wonder what mad folly possessed him to lie with this dirty, greasy kichen-wench, was his appetite so sharp set, that he must needs be lapping in the Dripping-pan? well, I'll follow them; I know their old haunt (the Kings-head at Hogsdown) Jealousy hath many eyes, I must prevent the searcher:  
If all my plots hit right,  
I'll make the Cuckold's horns hang in his light.  Exit.  

Actus primus, Scaena secunda.  Enter Marcurio and Splendora. Mercu. 
My fair Splendora, though my fortunes are,  
I Humble as he that owns them; yet I can  
Love thee with holy ardency; devoutly  
As zealous men in prayer do their Saints,  
Or Votaries their Goddess.  Splend. 
I know you want not wit to coin a passion,  
And pray (with all Mercurio) conceive,  
I know how many symtoms of true love,  
A Parasite (in service to his Mrs.)  
Can use to gain his end; 'tis not a sigh,  
Dissembled sorrow in a far strained tear,  
The folded Arms; Encomiums composed,  
With many interjections, nor the trick,  
Of praising what she's pleased with, can move me  
To the least faith, he whose slow tongue speaks least,  
In Love or sorrow oftentimes means best.  Merc. 
I am sorry you should think I doubt your knowledge  
I know you have a soul as full of Rays,  
As Delphean Phoebus in oraculous glory;  
You have divinity enough to see,  
The purest love from nicest flattery,  
Or I should ne'er affect you, 'tis my thought,  
That she whom flattery can purchase to me,  
By one more subtle may be flattered from me.  Splend. 
You give a large account of your pure thoughts,  
And I believe thee with such confidence,  
As to not do't, were heresy; I here  
Resign thee all the interest I hold dear,  
In this weak frame.  Merc. 
That shall contain us both,  
Our hearts shall be one individual essence,  
To which we'll frame like passions, like affections,  
By this divinest Metamorphosis,  
The Gods (well pleased) shall terminate our lives,  
Both at one Expiration in good age,  
Seasoned and fit for glory, more Divine,  
Where in one orbe our unity shall shine.  Ent. Mr. Nice. Nice. 
Who's here (undone) Mercurio and my daughter  
Embracing? Changes Kisses? I shall part you.  Splond. 
My Father.  Nice. 
Splendora, your Mother calls you.  Splend. 
I am sorry Sir I have such faulty ears, as not  
To hear till your love please to tell me,  
I attend her.  Exit Splend. Nice. 
Sir 'tis to you that I direct my speech.  Merc. 
I shall attend Sir what your speech directs.  Nice. 
To this intent I frame it, what's the cause  
You make it all the business of your time  
In visits to my house? though uninvited,  
I do not say you're an unwelcome guest,  
But till I know the motive of your coming,  
I shall be cautious in your entertainment.  Merc. 
Your words do bear a strange suspect in them,  
And this to me, the Son of him that was  
Once your best friend; whose love hath made you rich,  
The manner's somewhat strange.  Nice. 
I shall be plainer,  
I disaffect your nearness with my daughter,  Splend. stands within the Arras. 
I have beheld loose kisses fond embraces,  
Her sighs to echo yours, such wantonness  
As may not fit a pair of single creatures,  
Much less you two, considering the distance.  
Sir to be brief, I do suspect you love her.  Merc. 
Oh ne'er suspect so Sir, you may be sure on't.  Splend. 
Why this is honest truth, fine right down dealing.  Nice. 
And she loves you.  Merc. 
I hope she will in time Sir.  Nice. 
'tis well Sir, lend me your ear.  Merc. 
Your pleasure.  Splend. 
I fear this whispering portends no good,  
Here's pen and paper, I'll appoint our meeting,  
Though we shall miss that ceremonious way,  
Of lovely parting we were wont to have,  
I'll find occasion to deliver this.  Nice. 
Nay which is more, you are a riotous man.  Splend. 
My dear Mercurio.  She writes. Nice. 
And let me tell you Sir, my Child and wealth,  
Shall not be both exposed to your profuseness  
Therefore (by my admonishment) pray leave her.  Splend. 
Meet me tomorrow.  Writes again. Merc. 
Sir did you ever love?  Nice. 
Yes.  Merc. 
But did you ere affect a Virgin truly?  Nice. 
As man can do.  Merc. 
When.  Splend. 
To morrow in the afternoon.  Writes again. Nice. 
When time and love had made me capable  
Of woman and her virtues.  Splend. 
In the green long walk by Newington.  Writes. Merc. 
Was not her presence all your heaven on earth,  
And then her absence brought such sickly thoughts,  
No novelty could mitigate.  Nice. 
Very true.  Mere. 
With that affection I esteem your daughter.  
Just such a heaven her blessed society,  
And such a hell her absence, had we not  
By some diviner inspiration,  
A little prospect to eternity,  
I should believe all joys of soul were her:  
The most indulgent Mothers never loved,  
Their fair legitimate Babes with such a fondness,  
As I do your Splendora.  Nice. 
You are very bountiful in your expression.  Merc. 
Too niggardly, her goodness merits more  
Than I have worth to know, or tongue to utter;  
I think her virtues all are infinite,  
And not to be examined, I have searched,  
With most ingenious and industrious boldness,  
To take the height of her perfection,  
But forced with admiration to retire,  
For still as I drew near her soul flew higher.  Splend. 
Your constant heart Splendora.  Writes again. Nice. 
You have expressed her merit and your love,  
And had you an estate equal to either,  
With worldly providence and care to use it,  
I should esteem your motion, as you are,  
Your polyte phrases cannot work on me,  
Nor shall they on my daughter, whose obedience  
Must be conformable to my dispose.  Enter Splend. Splend. 
Did you call Sir.  Nice. 
No,  
But since your diligence hath got such wings,  
Stay and take leave of your kind visitant,  
And be not tedious.  Splend. 
Well Sir.  Nice. 
I have some business may concern your good,  
Which you cannot conceive.  Splend. 
I do believe you.  
You see my dear Mercurio, how adverse  Softly. 
My Father is, time's short, read that, farewell,  
We'll meet again.  Merc. 
This parting is my hell.  Exit Merc. Servant. 
Sir the French Knight is come,  Enter a servant. 
Sir Reverenee Lamard.  Nice. 
Wait on him in.  Ser. 
I shall Sir.  Splend. 
Oh, my torment!  Enter Sir Reverence and Wildfire his Page. Nice. 
Noble Sir Reverence, your humble servant.  Sir Rev. 
Tres humble Serviture Monsieur.  
A vostre Serviture Madam.  Nice. 
Sir you too seldom grace us with your visits,  
Although our country custom cannot yield,  
That fair and ceremonious entertainment  
You French men use; believe me you are welcome.  Sir Rev. 
Gramercy Monsieur de mon cevir,  
Vat you name de Madam your datera.  Nice. 
We call her Sir Splendora.  Sir Rev. 
Spent whora?  Nice. 
Splendora.  Sir Rev. 
Split whore a.  Nice. 
The name is some what hard Sir.  Sir Rev. 
Begar so it is, Split, Split, Split whore a.  Nice. 
Splen.  Sir Rev. 
Splen.  Nice. 
Do.  Sir Rev. 
Do.  Nice. 
ra.  Sir Rev. 
ra.  Nice. 
Splendora.  Sir. Rev. 
Splendora.  Nice. 
Right Sir.  Sir Rev. 
Madam Splendora, will you give Sir Reverence,  
Leave to kiss beshide your sheeke.  Splend. 
Let it be but of one side I beseech you Sir, I have lately been troubled with the Toothache.  Nice. 
I'll leave you sir to opportunity.  Rises. Vildfier. Sir Rev. 
Gramercy Monseir, vostre serviteur.  Wild. 
At your back Monseir.  Exit Nice. and wild. Sir Rev. 
Allo allo.  Wild. 
I am gone Sir.  Exit. Sir Rev. 
Madam your fadra say to me he would have me take you for my wife, my Lady, my Madam, my Madam Lamard;  Splend. 
Did my father bid you put me in hope of these fantastic titles?  Sir Rev. 
Fantasy, begar be brave title to be wife to Sir Reverence Lamard.  Splend. 
To be your wife Sir Reverence?  Sir Rev. 
Awee, and Sir Reverence to be your husband.  Splend. 
I thank you Sir.  
I hope that vinon will happy prove;  
Where Sir Reverence is the beginning of love,  Sir Rev. 
Begar that was right, me love you out of all cry, You shall be a Lady, when we have marry, we'll go to Parry, begar was the brave City of the World, me will have you dress like the French Madam, and ride in your Carrosh, begar does English Dress is noting; 'tis not a le mode France, den me vill show you the brave Palace of the King, you never see such state in your life, Oh brava; brava; and den.  Splend. 
Pray stay there Sir.  
I wonder that a Knight of your vast wealth,  
In your own Country could not find a fair one,  
Worthy to meet your merit; I may doubt  
You are not what you would have me conceive,  
Or my too credulous father is informed,  
And did your judgement, sympathise with mine,  
I would not wish you to adventure marriage,  
With any Lady of another Nation,  
There is a fitness to be found in love,  
Which very far transcends wealth wit or beauty,  
By him that keeps me for a better end,  
I would not be your Mistress, could you give,  
All Paris, for Jointure; The truth is I am engaged.  Sir Rev. 
Begar den you shall be no Lady.  Splend. 
I shall be contented with my fortune.  Enter to them Nice and Wildfire. Nice. 
How is't Sir Reverence, what is my daughter pliant,  Sir Rev. 
Begar your dauter say she will no have me, if I Shall give all Pary for a zhoynture.  Nice. 
You must give Virgin's licence to be Nice,  
Things easily purchased are not valuable,  
Is it their own worth or their scarcity,  
That sets so high a price on Jewels think you.  Sir Rev. 
Begar your dauter be foolish to slight me,  
She bid me love the french Lady, begar so me can.  Nice. 
I hope she hath not angered you Sir Reverence.  Sir Rev. 
Begar is vill know me can have the brave Lady in France.  Nice. 
I do not questioned Sir, she is too peevish.  Sir Re. 
Begar me have scorn a Countess in France, and  
Have had two three love letter from a Doushesse,  
Since I came to Englant, your dauter no know  
Vat I am, she be fool begar — Vildfire.  Wild. 
Monsieur.  Sir Re. 
Donne moy me manteau.  Gives him his Cloak. Wild. 
Awy Monsieur vostre service.  Nice. 
I hope you will not leave us so Sir.  Sir Re. 
Begar me vill stay no longer your dauter a scorn my love.  Nice. 
Be not so discontented good Sir Rev. all shall be to your wish, I have prepared a course banquet for you Sir Rev.  Sir Rev. 
She scorn a my love.  Ex. omnes, manet Splend. Splend. 
This fool it seems is noted to be rich,  
What's that to me? In dignity a Knight,  
A Knight Sir Reverence, than he is of France,  
The only man of fashion (from whose Country  
All things are acceptable, no disease excepted)  
Let him go seek a choice in his own Nation,  
French feats grow stale, I'll have some newer fashion;  
I'll learn to love for worth, not one whose flashes  
Blaze much, and are at one time flame and ashes,  
Give me a man whose love is built upon  
Eternal virtue and perfection,  
Who loves for mental worth; not outward show,  
And such a one is my Mercurio.    

Actus secundus,  

Scaena prima.  Enter Drowsy and Trimwel. Trimw. 
Art sure thou sawst them go this way?  Drow. 
Sure, yes sure enough, I'm sure they crossed this field, went o'er that stile, and I am much deceived if I did not see Pimpwel peep out of yonder Tavern window.  Trimw. 
That's the Kings-head I know't,  
Oh for some quaint disguise,  
My jealousy hath yet no ocular proof,  
These two years have I wandered in this maze,  
And still been blinded by her sublil sleights?  
That Rivers is the man I most suspect,  
And yet I dare not think he wrongs my bed,  
The very thought bred in a jealous breast,  
Is proof enough, and then were he defenced  
With Devils I would end him;  
Oh! we vain men covet most to see  
What we would not, my eyes can take no rest;  
How many Moonshine nights and Summer evenings,  
In various shapes have I walked out to find her,  
But never could?  Drow. 
Would I had never seen the face of Mr. Flylove.  Trim. 
Thou hast even got, thy belly full of mischief too,  
But prithee do not cry out i'th' fields, though I'm  
A Surgeon, I shall make but a mad midwife,  
Thou hadst better repair to the City, and quietly,  
For a month hire the next Cage is to be let, you  
May buy a bed in Smithfeild, they come to Town,  
In Cart-loads.  Drow. 
No Sir, I know you'll lend me a room for one month,  
I'll inquire for your house when I come to London,  
How far do you live from Cuckold's haven.  Trim. 
A pox on you for a whore, you have wit enough to jeer though you had not to keep your Maidenhead.  Drow. 
I pray Sir, is it not your black bird that sings,  
I cannot keep my wife at home, my wife at home.  Trim. 
Out you greasy kitchen whore.  Drow. 
Why thou fool, is not better to have such a Greasy piece as I am, then to have a curious fine wife, and cannot come near her.  Trimwel. 
The whore says true, how now who comes here,  
Musicians very good, I have a plot,  
Come into my head, which by these fiddlers,  Enter 5. or 6. Fiddlers. 
Means I'll put in practice, hark you,  
Honest Fiddlers (Musicians I should call you)  
I am a little Musical myself, Gentlemen  
Whither Crowd you so fast.  Fiddlers. 
Sir we are sent for to play to Mr. Rivers at the Kings-head.  Trim. 
Frank Rivers.  Fid. 
The same Sir.  Trim. 
Who plays the Cittern.  Boy. 
That do I Sir.  Trim. 
Very good, I have a plot that shall get you double the money you expect.  Fid. 
How is that I pray Sir.  Trim. 
Why look, Frank Rivers is my only Companion, I would now steal upon him in the middle of's mirth disguised like one of you, I have a false beard in my pocket, I'll carry the Base, counterfeit to be blind, and that boy shall lead me, and in the conclusion he shall pay you for the jest.  Fid. 
With all our hearts Sir.  Trim. 
Drowsy what will you do?  Drow. 
I'll even home to London, but if you see Mr. Flyloeve tell him I'll serve him such a trick as he saw in's life time, I'll warrant him.  Exit. Trim. 
Farewell good Drowsy. Come Gentlemen let's about this business; Aha wife, i'faith I shall overreach you now.  

Sings.  
I have been a Fiddler these fifteen year,  
And never was put in the Stocks before,  
If an good fellow will give me some B●er,  
I'll Fiddle and suddle, and never give o'er.   Exit.  

Actus secundus, Scaena prima.  Enter Rivers, Wildblood, Flylove, Mrs. Bellaflora, and Mrs. Trimwell. Fly. 
Fair Lady you are welcome, I should salute you by your name if I knew it.  Bella. 
My name is Mary Fairchaste.  Fly. 
Fair and chaste too, impossible; it is a Paradox to me.  Bella. 
Is it such wonder to be fair and chaste Sir?  Fly. 
No, no, 'tis no such wonder, A fair Cabinet should contain a fair Jewel; but since we have had poison in guile bowls, killing Perfumes in rich Gloves, Heresy in religious exact habit, and Treason in the well-seeming gravity of State, we put small trust in form; but what do I trouble you with these things, let's drink, sing, dance, and be merry boys;  We come to be merry, etc. Sings. 
Gentlemen, what shall we do for a noise of Vagrants,  
I have a dancing desire to exercise my heels.  Wild. 
I have sent for Music, but we want a woman.  Fly. 
It's impossible; Drawer.  Ent. Draw. Draw. 
Did you call Sir?  Fly. 
Entreat your Mistress hither.  Draw. 
I shall Sir, she prevents my service, she's here already.  Fly. 
How doth my Madonna? my Belladossa? my Ent. Mrs. Summer sinner, the Conntesse of Hogsdowne.  Exit Drawer. Mrs. 
You give me many styles Mr. Flylove.  Fly. 
I have come over as many more styles to behold thee my Queen of the Kings-head. Hark you; what rate holds women's flesh? in brief haste thou ever a piece of Impenitence, that will be sociable, and will desire, only her pleasure for her pains, if she can dance well, we'll bear with any imperfection else; thou shalt not lose all; we'll seem to want the knowledge of thy over-reckoning, and pay thee. You know we are no Citizens, that (to ease our bodies and preserve our pockets) keep a due Account of every quart and paper, by unburtoning our doublets; or doubt our own memories by calling many reckonings at one sitting.  Mrs. 
You are very merry Mr. Flylove, but as I am a virtuous sinner, you could never have chose a time to have found me so unprovided in a whole summer, there is but one woman in the house, and she is with a French man, yet I believe his greatest business is over, if you will allow of his company you may have hers, nor will he be any interruption to you, for call what you will he'll pay freely, and be as merry as you will give him leave.  Fly. 
Have they paid all?  Mrs. 
They are now calling.  Fly. 
Prithee entice them in.  Mrs. 
No twill become you better, he may conceive I have some end of mine own in't; your way of invitation will entice him, the society of an English Gentleman, is his only ambition.  Fly. 
Very well; I'll invite him.  Rivers. 
Whither go you Stephen?  Bella. 
Sir I'll take my leave of you.  Fly. 
By no means Lady, I'll return presently, aside. jack Wildblood prithee entertain this Lady in my absence, she's modest, & thou art civil; but if you make your seeming civility a bawd to abuse me, look to yourself.  Ex. Fly. & Mrs. Wild. 
Well, well, pray follow your humour; Lady you are not merry.  Bella. 
Is the Gentleman your friend gone?  Wild. 
Some private occasion, he'll be here suddenly.  Bella. 
I cannot stay Sir.  Pimp. 
Mr. Rivers; what is Mr. Flylove gone?  Enter Pimpw. Wild. 
where's the Music?  Pimp. 
I have been as far as Redcrosse-street for them, they were playing to a company of Citizens at the Queens-head, but they told me they would make all the necessary expedition they could possible, and attend you in Hogsdon here at the Kings-head.  Rivers. 
Nay, I'll say that for thee, thou art the happiest Purvey or for Wine, Wenches and Music, that ever was assistant to the increase of sinners.  Pimpw. 
Who should I meet withal coming from thence, through the Fortune-Playhouse yard, but old jones the Cobls.  Wild. 
Thou shouldst have brought him hither.  Pimp. 
I thought you would have wished so, and I have brought him.  Rivers. 
A Cobbler; what is he?  Wild. 
What is he? why the rarest humorist of a Cobbler, that ever was translated into merry company, his wit is jeering, tart in all such jests, nor will he spare the proudest he in plush. And speaking in a most composed strain, with countenance grave, no man can take exceptions, but may suppose it ignorance, not wit; You cannot choose but know him, that is he that owed forty shillings to an Allderman, to pay 12. pence by the week, when he did exact Cobbler's law, and made his worshipful creditor give him two pots at every payment.  Riu. 
Yes, yes, I have heard of him.  Pimp. 
Then now you shall see him, here comes the man in Person; welcome Mr. jones.  Enter jones. jones. 
Thank you good Mr. Allexander, I'll make bold to salute these worthy Gentlemen, noble Mr. Wildblood, I take it.  Wild. 
The very same Mr. jones, and how did Mr. Alexander, and you meet.  jones. 
Honest Mr. Pimpwell (here) was walking I believe about his accasions, I saw 2. or 3. Gentlemen with him, and introth because I was in my workydaie Clothes, I was ashamed to speak with him, but I thank him good Gentleman, he called me to him, and told me I should see some worthy Gentlemen of my acquaintance.  Wild. 
Here Mr. jones, I'll drink to you and to your wife, do you remember since you put her i'th' cage?  jones. 
I pray Sir how long is't since we were merry at the Sargeons' head in Islington, where we drank Sack so long till all our money was gone, but introth I think I brought but a groat with me; we came off from the reckoning though pretty handsomely, but good Gentleman you were forced to leave your silver Seal behind, but I think you redeemed it again in a little while.  Rivers. 
Ha, ha, ha, there he hath met you jack.  Enter Flylove, Sir ' Reverence, Lamard, and Mrs. Light. Fly. 
Gentlemen I presume to invite this worthy Gentleman and his Lady, I pray be courteous to them.  Wild. 
Noble Sir, a friend of yours can never come unwelcome where we are; my service Sir attends you.  Sir Re. 
Monsieur your tres umble umble vassal.  Rivers. 
Sir according to our downright English Compliment you are welcome.  Sir R. 
Awee Monsieur, begar me tank you heartily dear be English Compliment for you again, vat velow's dat?  Wild. 
A very honest man Sir, and Beadle of the parish.  Sir R. 
A beadle, begar he be no forboon company, my Madam can no endure a beadle.  jones. 
A lack good Gentlewoman; no Sir, I am no beadle I can assure you, though the Gentleman pleases to jest.  Sir R. 
Begar you look as like a rogua as a beadle.  jones. 
A lack, I believe Monsieur you have heard the ill news lately come forth you are so angry of the sudden.  Sir R. 
Begar me have hear no ill news.  Jones. 
then I'll tell you Sir, the sad report goes that most of the English Gentlemen in France must return to England again I am sorry for't.  Sir R. 
Begar vas nothing but lies; how now'vat is here, Fiddles? Madam shall we dance?  Enter Musicians, amongst them, Trimwel disguised like an old blind Fiddler, and led in by a boy. Wild. 
Well done, you are honest Rascals, every man take his stool, strike up courageously, and be sure have a special care he that plays o'th' base Violin sleep not, we are no colls you know, you must not slam us.  Riu. 
Come Gentlemen shall we try our footing, here am I  Fly. 
And here am I  Wild. 
And if this Gentleman please, here I'll be.  Sir Rev. 
Vould all mine heart Monsieur.  Bella. 
I cannot dance believe me Sir.  Fly. 
Nor I, we'll only practise.  Mrs. Light. 
Excuse me Sir, indeed I cannot dance.  Wild. 
Excuse me Sir, indeed I cannot dance?  
You shall not dance excuse me then, that Country trip is old, we'll have some novelty.  Riu. 
Are you perfect in the tune I gave you last to practise?  Fiddlers. 
Very perfect Sir.  Rivers. 
Let me hear it.  They play the tune once over. They dance the tune once over, then enter into a figure with, the beginning of the first strain, Pimpwel and the Mrs. betwixt every change two persons drink till it comes round, and Pimpw. discovers Trimw. in the Dance, and at the end of several Changes he declares his discovery. Pimpw. 
Mrs. Trimwel do you observe that old fellow that plays o'th' Base.  first Change. Wildb. and his Mistress drink. Mrs. Trimw. 
Well, what of that?  Pimpw. 
By my life 'tis your Husband.  Mrs. Trim. 
My Husband?  Pimpw. 
Take no notice.  They dance, at the end of the next Change Flyl. and his Mrs. drink. Wild. 
Come t'other Change.  Fly. 
Lady my service to you.  Bella. 
Pray let it be your love Sir,  
'twill make the Health much sweeter.  Rivers. 
Thou mak'st me wonder.  At the end of the next Change Mrs. Trim. and Rivers drink. Mrs. Trim. 
As I live 'tis true.  Rivers. 
What? he that plays the Base?  Fly. 
Come to the next.  Trim. 
Here is strange humours in this Dance, how they drink and whisper, as if they had capering minds as well as bodies; hay! how my wife trips it, when she comes home she was with one Aunt or other; She's no Tavern-dancing company, no, no; Oh my blessed disguise.  This last Change Pimpw. and the Mistress drink. Pimw. 
Oh your Bulls-head, we'll take a course to order you, you blind puppy, because you wink you think no body can see you; Come the t'other Change, and conclude.  Sir Rev. 
Begar vas mose brave, my Lady dance allemode like our French Madam.  They dance the last Change of all. jones. 
Introth Mr. Flylove you dance very well, but that you straddle so much, but if you take it in time that may be altered; Oh Mr. Flylove you have a little gone awry, but mum for that.  Fly. 
Well said Mr. jones, do you remember one night when you cast Anchor i'th' kennel, and called to the Goldfinder for a Coach, who mounted you in his Chariot, and drew you to the River Acheron at the backside of Islington.  jones. 
Oh! Mr. Flylove you are an ingenious Gentleman, I have heard high commendations of you by a Neighbour's daughter a friend of mine.  Fly. 
Prithee who's that?  jones. 
'Tis a very good natured Lass, if she knew you were here, she would have a quart of Wine at your service.  Fly. 
Do I know her?  jones. 
Do you know her? Do I know jone my wife? Do not you know Alice Drowsy?  Fly. 
Pox on you hold your tongue, this dirty whore haunts me in a thousand shapes, I must throw her out of my memory. Come Gentlemen shall we have another Dance?  Rivers. 
Come Gentlemen t'other Dance.  Sir Rev. 
I come, me like the Dance better den Song.  They all dance to a sprightly Air, but in the fourth Change they all dance off from the Stage into the Tiring-house, where they remain till the tune is played once over; then they dance all in again, and come to their several Figures, and continue dancing the tune once more over; then they dance in and out again as before; At the last they Dance quite away from the house, leaving the Fiddlers to play to the Monsieur, Mr. Jones, and themselves; having played an unreasonable while, they desist, and the Monsieur speaks. Sir Rev. 
Hold, hold good Monsieur Minikin, for begar they have dance avay wid my Ladee; Rogue, Drawer.  Ent. Draw. Draw. 
Anon, anon Sir.  Sir Rev. 
Fere be the Zhentlemen and de Ladee.  Draw. 
They have taken Coach Sir, and are at London by this time.  Fiddlers. 
How? how?  Sir Rev. 
Begar me never saw sush a frisk in my life;  
Vas does de skip de Angleteire?  Drawer. 
I was bid to deliver this Note to him that plays on the Base?  Trim. 
To me? give me't.  Draw. 
Yes, they say your ill fiddling made them all dance quite away, they would have stayed longer else.  Trim. 
The Devils have unridled me; what's here?  Trim. reads. 

The Woodcock when his head is hid,  
Thinks his body is unspid;  
Fool when thou comest next to find us,  
Bring some better trick to blind us;  
Pay the reckoning, or you'll find,  
There's a worse plot behind.   jones. 
What have you there Sir, a Bill of Exchange?  Trim. 
Pox on your Cobbling jests, you quibbling Coxcomb I am undone for ever.  Trimwell pulls off his grey beard. Sir Rev. 
Begar the Fiddler be mad, he tear his hair off.  jones. 
Who's this? My old acquaintance Mr. Trimwel.  Trimw. 
Hang up your old acquaintance, do not trouble me, who would have thought that through this disguise their careless eyes should thus discover me, but I'll follow them as close as Death doth sin.  Offers to go off. Draw. 
Sir you must pay the Reckoning first.  Trim. 
Shall I  Draw. 
Before you part, it is your device hath made us lose the best Guests that come to our house.  Trim. 
How much is it?  Draw. 
One pound thirteen and nine pence.  Trim. 
Here's the French Knight, one of their company that called it in, let him discharge it.  Sir Rev. 
Disharge it, begar my Lady have left me noting to disharge, she got all my money and my Wash.  The Frenchman feels in's pockets. jones. 
Gentlemen, I'll go pay my part at the bar.  Draw. 
Your part, what's that?  jones. 
A threepences, a good threepences, a Spanish 3. d. and so farewell to you both good Gent.  Ex. jones. Trim. 
Well, there's your money Drawer, I must confess I drank for't.  Fiddlers. 
Who shall pay us Sir?  Trim. 
The Devil paid, shall I be made a But for every knave to shoot at.  Fiddlers. 
Sir, you are the cause that we have not only lost this money, but our credit with the Gentlemen, if we had known you had been a Trapan, you should ne'er have been admitted into our company; you had other pretences.  Trim. 
Well, since 'twas my plot, I am like to pay for't, there's a French crown among you, pray get you from me. Sir, you are a stranger, and therefore I have nothing more to say to you, but to desire your absence.  Exeunt Fiddlers. Sir Rev. 
Me be glad me come off so, farewel Monsieur Bopeep.  Exit Sir Rev. Trimwel solus. Trim. 
The just cause of my fears I now perceive,  
As evident as daylight; in this Dance  
There is composed all that her wanton heart  
Can give, or he can covet, I must now  
Turn all my love to loathing; Sweet Revenge  
I am thy faithful Votary, I will still  
Pursue their footsteps, and with wary eyes,  
Watch their Adulterous Conspiracies:  
Now I have thought upon't, if they defend  
Their persons from this plot I now intent,  
I will disband my reason, and resign  
My Intellectuals, or what else is mine:  
Look to it Gallants, the next time you view me,  
I'll make you curse the time that e'er you knew me.    

Actus tertius,  

Scaena prima.  Enter Mercurio and Splendora. Mercu. 
Time and our fitter opportunity,  
The pleasant entertainment of our love  
Hath almost wasted; 'tis an hour near night,  
And we can tread no farther then toth' place  
Thy Father hath expelled me, we must part,  
But urged to't with much more unwillingness,  
Then heat from life, when souls and bodies separate.  Splend. 
Thou shalt not leave me yet, I'll plant my love  
Above my fear, it is a nobler passion.  
Nor shall my father's frown have more command  
On my affection, than thy brow, made smooth  
By thy own love, credit me gentle youth,  
Thou hast next rule in this weak mansion  
To him that built it.  Ent. Nice. Sir Rev. Trimwel and two Sergeants. Nice. 
That's he.  1. Ser. 
We know him Sir.  Nice. 
Perform your task then.  2. Ser. 
I'll warrant you. [revenge.  Sir Rev. 
Begar me have wash him hither, now me shall be  Nice. 
Stay not for bail, I'll double your reward.  1. Ser. 
You are a kind Gentleman: Sir we arrest you by the name of Mercurio.  Merc. 
Arrest me Sir, who hath employed you for this Action? At whose suit is't?  2. Ser. 
At the Suit of Mr. Nice, a very honest Gentleman I can assure you.  Merc. 
You guess that by his bounty for your baseness: What is the sum?  1. Ser. 
Twenty pounds upon bond, if you have special Bail, produce it presently, we cannot stay.  Merc. 
Why is your time so precious that is spent to ruin mankind, be not pray so hasty, where is the Gentleman?  2. Ser. 
He is not far Sir.  Nice. 
What is your will with me.  Merc. 
Longer time for payment of your debt.  Nice. 
I may forbear no longer, Sir you know the money hath been due these 14. weeks, it is in vain to think you can urge me to an agreement, but my present sum.  Splend. 
But not, I entreat that mercy Sir.  Nice. 
Fond Girl ask mercy for your disobedience, I have appeared too temperate with you, and shown too much indulgence; 'tis your cause that makes him suffer.  Splend. 
And 'tis his abuse  
Will make me perish; Oh remember Sir  
You had a wife, my Mother, whose dear dust  
With low and humble reverence I kiss:  
Had you been seized between two Tigers thus,  
will't not have moved her, made her pliant knees  
Grow tothth' dull earth, till the deaf Creditor,  
(By importunacy more than compunction)  
Had sealed a truce 'twixt him and's undone Debtor.  Nice. 
Your superstitious knees in vain are bend  
For this bad cause, Laws Moral and Divine,  
Have still provided that each man shall claim  
What is his right, I but exact mine own.  Splend. 
What can you call your own, that you may spare,  
Whilst still the cries of widows, injured Orphans  
Beat at the ears of pity; had this man  
Trap● in the snares of Cannibals) his own  
The fair inheritance his birthright claims,  
(Heaven pardon them that have it) I believe  
You need not rack his body for your own.  Nice. 
Your zeal makes you forget yourself.  Splend. 
My sorrow is too bold indeed, to see  
Such pregnant hopes thus blasted in the bloom  
Of teeming growth, nipped in the springing bud  
Of spreading youth; to see man's span contracted,  
Sent to the grave ere yet he can conceive  
The end of his Creation, 'cause his Chests  
Want coin, not to supply, but cram another's:  
Ioves great impression suffers this decay,  
For want of Caesar's Image stamped in Clay.  Nice. 
I'll hear no more.  Splend. 
A little pray Sir,  
He that's so indigent to want the means  
Of rendering your right, whilst he enjoys  
His fair and open freedom; Can you believe,  
That being close penned up with Iron bars,  
Stone walls and Jailers hearts,  
Where every cowardly Creditor treads down,  
The o'erthrown Debtor with a doubled sum,  
That stands bayl-proof; is that a time to satisfy,  
Unless he had the Elixor to convert  
The Iron grates to Gold, or (which is best)  
To nothing.  Nice. 
Officers what stay you for?  1. Ser. 
Come will you go Sir.  Splend. 
How diligent in cruelty you are:  
Have you the heart to think this good old man  
(That knows the scales unto Eternity  
Are pity, mercy, love (the best Religion)  
Fear of oppression) will commit his youth  
To your ungentle usage?  2. Ser. 
Pray be not moved with us, your father may release him.  Splend. 
Look Sir, the Officers grow merciful,  
And seem to bear no part in his undoing;  
Shall men that study nought but cruelty,  
Outdo you in an act of gentleness?  Nice. 
Officers, I'll leave him to your charge, take Bail at your peril.  Exit Nice. Splend. 
Sir Reverence, will you be bail for him, you are good for nothing else.  Sir Rev. 
Begar me be no bail.  Exit Sir Rev. Splend. 
There's a day for thee when no bail shallbe taken;  
Shall I speak one word with your Prisoner?  1. Ser. 
Two if you please. [gate.  Trim. 
Hark you Mr. Tripes, I shall find you at the Compter  2. Ser. 
Without fail.  Trim. 
I have another mischievous employment for you.  1. Ser. 
We shall endeavour to perform it Sir.  Trim. 
Oh Sir, I know you to be deserving men; there's money, enter an Action against Stephen Flylove at the suit of Alice Drowsy in an Action of assault and battery committed upon the belly of the said Alice last May, the Planets being Venus and Mars Rampant, and the Sign Virgo.  2. Ser. 
I apprehend you Sir.  Trim. 
Apprehend me Sir, for what? you are deceived, you must apprehend Mr. Flylove.  2. Ser. 
I understand you Sir.  Trim. 
Farewell my understanding Sergeant,  Exit. Merc. 
Come we must part.  Splend. 
I'll come and visit thee.  Merc. 
Thy sight in prison is my liberty.  Ex. several ways.  

Act 3. Scaen. 2.  Enter Stephen Flylove and Bellaflora. Fly. 
Can you conceit why I have singled you thus from the company.  Bella. 
No, pray instruct me Sir.  Fly. 
The instructions are too easy to be good, since you appear so innocently modest, I'll be your amorous Schoolmaster for once.  Bella. 
You'll teach me no ill Doctrine.  Fly. 
No, no, prithee observe me, be but capable, and I'll warrant thee an apt Scholar.  Bella. 
Well Sir, so far as I perceive it's good, I'll learn.  Fly. 
I'll show you the Lover's Alphabet, be observant then, and be not squeamish, but do as I direct you; When a Gentleman and's Lady do meet, A. the first letter is A salutation.  Bella. 
The word begins with S.  They salute. Fly. 
No matter for the word, give me the sense, B. the next letter, lend me your fair hand.  Bella. 
Very good Sir.  Fly. 
'Tis in a very good hand indeed; nay I'll show you more tricks by and by, it is so very fair that I must kiss it, there's a letter gone that stands for C. I confess C. may stand for another business, and fitter for the letter, but a kiss shall serve at this time.  Bella. 
On I pray Sir.  Fly. 
Nay, I shall come on fast enough, I warrant you. D. shall join both our hands, now do we look as if we were wrestling, which of us both should give the first kiss.  Bella. 
You make your own construction Sir.  Fly. 
ay, I, no matter, it's ne'er the worse for that.  Bella. 
Proceed Sir.  Fly. 
Stay, stay, let's pause a little, you'll forget it again else, E. is embrace me, there I have hit you to a letter.  Bella. 
You come near me now Sir.  Fly. 
I shall come nearer yet, for F. I'll stroke your cheek.  Bella. 
F. stands for flattery.  Fly. 
Not at this time fair one, if you will tie me punctually to a letter F. stands for Faith or Friendship.  Bella. 
That is the truest use on't.  Fly. 
Well, it shall go so then. G. is a Gift.  Gives her a Ribbon. Bella. 
I'll wear it.  Fly. 
Let me see you.  Bella. 
First make an end.  Fly. 
H. stands for Hug me t' you.  Bella. 
I have heard of a Wine called by that name Sir.  Fly. 
Were it Nectar it could not be sweeter than this.  Bella. 
It seems your favour and my embrace do want no acceptation.  Fly. 
I. stands for you, and K. standing for kiss, is I kiss you.  
By the breath of Venus y'have a pleasant lip.  Bella. 
I'm glad it pleaseth you; to the next letter.  Fly. 
L. is another kiss, it stands for Love.  Bella. 
L. may be lust, but it should be Love.  Fly. 
ay, I, it may stand for both by fits. M. stands for Mary.  Bella. 
So it may for Marry.  Fly. 
Remember R. stands for repent, but I am far enough off from that. N. is the next letter, N. stands for ne'er be good, you shall learn O. Q. P. V. in private, that is the full prick or conclusion of the Lover's Alphabet.  Bella. 
Take heed, be not too hasty.  
Some that would seem more nice than virtuous.  
Who use a blush, or modest bashfulness,  
To veil their knowledge of ill propositions,  
(Such as I'm sure pou make, though y'have a trick  
To smooth it o'er with your methodick wantonness)  
Would be ashamed to tell you your ill meaning,  
But I will not.  
L. in your Alphabet doth stand for Just,  
And be not fooled with such a vanity,  
To think because you are a handsome man,  
Or I so easy won to your society,  
That I will do an act may hold proportion  
With any baseness; if you can love truly,  
Without a glance to any vild respect,  
Reveal it, I was never so ill bred  
To give discourteous answers?  Fly. 
Love, and love truly, are not you married?  Bella. 
I am not now Sir.  Fly. 
A widow and so cautious, I'll try another way;  
Have I taken up an Angle instead of a Bona Roba?  
Yes I can love thee, and can love thee truly, and heartily,  
I'll swear so if thou'lt have me.  Bell. 
Let me but hear you Sir, I'll swear as much.  Fly. 
Wilt thou, faith stay a little.  Bell. 
What do you pause on't Sir?  Fly. 
No, no, I'm ready enough to swear, I am loath to cast away too big an oath, and I'm afraid a small one will not suffice her.  Bell. 
Come I'll propose the Oath.  Fly. 
With all my heart.  Bell. 
By those diviner powers that govern Contracts,  
Swear to be true to me.  Fly 
By all those sacred powers I kiss the book, & ever will observe it, come shall we walk a side now: Kisses her. Whose here?  Bell. 
I am glad you are prevented; How vainly men in their rash heat will swear to what they ne'er intend.  Enter Riu. Wild. and Mrs. Trimwel. Wild. 
How now Stephen, what do you fly from your Colours?  Fly. 
No Sir, I fly to my Colours, red and white, I'm a right Englishman.  Riu. 
Where's Pimpwel gone?  Fly. 
I sent him for more Money.  Wild. 
But that Heaven ordained all things for a good end, a man might swear that Pimpwel was created for a Pimp: how cunningly he found her husband out, & how suddenly the rogue contrived that quick escape; I will have him put in the Almanac next to the Gunpowder-Treason.  Rivers. 
Or Gowries Conspiracy; In what a stammering case now is my Frenchman; and now I think upon him, I have seen a face as right like that in Paris.  Wild. 
Faith so have I  Mrs. Trim. 
Were you e'er in France Mr. Rivers?  Rivers. 
Yes Sweetheart.  Mrs. Trim. 
I have had a brother there these 14. years, and have not heard from him.  Riu. 
What part of France?  Mrs. Trim. 
Paris.  Wild. 
What was his name?  Enter Pimp. Mrs. Trim. 
Brooks.  Wild. 
I never heard of him.  Fly. 
Hast thou brought the money.  Pimp. 
there's. 5. l.  Fly. 
Go and bespeak supper at the john of jerusalem.  Pim. 
I fear it's too late.  Fly. 
What's a clock?  Pim. 
Past 9  Fly. 
No matter; Lady you shall not leave me.  Bell. 
Indeed I cannot stay, to morrow where you please I'll keep an hour with you.  Fly. 
we'll drink a pint & talk on't  Pimpw. 
I'll tell you news, The French Knights arrested at the suit of Mr. Bonaventure an English Merchant for 6000. pound, is gone to prison, no bail will be taken.  Fly. 
I'm sorry for't; go, prithee make haste.  Pimpw. 
I am gone.  Exit Pimpw. Enter Porter. Port. 
Gentlemen, my business is to one Mr. Elylove,  
Can you direct me to him?  Fly. 
What is your business Porter?  Port. 
I pray read that Letter Sir, I received it from a young Gentleman.  Fly. 
Gentleman! I hope it is no news from Drowsy.  
To my friend Stephen Flylove; I'll try what your inside says; Ha, come with all speed, Gentlemen I have sad news for you, Mercurio is arrested.  Reads the Superscription. Wild. 
Arrested!  Riu. 
What devil did the deed?  Fly. 
Nice the rich Merchant, 'tis but 20. l. [1000  Riu. 
But 20. l. alas poor Gentleman, he can as well discharge  Fly. 
He hath writ to speak with me, he is not yet in prison.  Wild. 
Where is he?  Fly. 
At the Harrow-Tavern in Little Woodstreet.  Wild. 
Come we'll all go, perhaps they'll take our Bayl.  Riu. 
No hang them, these Citizens will take none but Free men; We'll make a trial though.  Wild. 
I would Pimywel were here again, I am sorry you appointed a Supper.  Fly. 
No matter, we shall know some end on't suddenly.  Riu. 
Let us defer no time, at the Harrow-Tavern say you.  Bella. 
Sir I must take my leave of you at next turning.  Fly. 
Well, meet me at the jerusalem-tavern, but be sure you fail not.  Bella. 
Your injunction shall be observed.  Fly. 
I'll leave a Glove at bar.  Exeunt.  

Act 3. Scaen. 3.  Enter Mr. Hemlock, Mrs. Hemlock, Trimwel, Mace & Tripes. Trim. 
Mrs. Hemlock if you and your husband do not assist me in this plot of dexterious mischief (finister I should call it) I shall be disgraced beyond remedy; I have now met with an opportunity so pleasing, so fit, so apt to entertain my purpose, an hour where only Saturn is predominant, shall so jerk my light-heeled Gallants, and the politic little Gipsy my wife, Flylove is the pin that must set all the other wheels a going, which pin this honest blade my old acquaintance Tripes shall turn, Mr. Mace I know your part is not the least in this revengeful conspiracy, be sure you use him roughly that it may cause a quarrel, and young Rivers will take fire at the least spark.  Tripes. 
If scurvy usage will make them quarrel they shall not want it, I hope Tripes is not to learn to use a man scurvily, I'm sure I have practised these 20. years, and there's never a one that ever I arrested yet can give me a good word; The Players brought me o'th' Stage once I thank them in a Play called the Roaring Girl, or The Catchpole, he was a pretty fellow that acted me, but he came short of the rogueries I have done.  Mrs. Hem. 
You have sent a Porter.  Trim. 
I saw him deliver the Letter.  Mrs. Hem. 
'Tis very well, 'cause this is a large room, you shall retire into a less, I'll show them up stayrs, and pretend that Mercurio and the Sergeants are gone into the City to see some friend of his for bail, and will be here presently, which to countenance you shall leave your pint pot half full of wine, your empty foul pipes and the candle, and when I shall give the watchword you may enter.  Trimwel. 
And now you talk of the watchword, is the Watch set at Cripplegate?  Mrs. Hem. 
And hath been this half hour.  Trim. 
If there be but the least disturbance, let your boy be ready to call the Watch up; can he frame a lie handsomely before the Justice next morning, I know the Watch will do their parts, only they have one fault, which is to charge every offender with one way of assault, that must be avoided.  Mrs. Hem. 
I warrant you for the boy Ned.  Boy. 
Anon, anon Sir, Did you call Mr.  Mr. Hem. 
Yes Sir.  Trim. 
Is thy name Villainous?  Boy. 
No Sir, 'tis a nick name my Mr. hath given me.  Trim. 
But thou must now deserve it, can you if need be, abuse, I mean accuse a Gentleman before a Justice of peace, to do a courtesy for a friend of your Masters?  Boy. 
Of what degree must the fault be?  Trim. 
Of what degree? a learned boy, oh my dainty pickpocket, he hath faults at's fingers ends, the devil hath given us such equal gifts; let me hear your degrees my fine villain.  Trim. 
Time runs away, let me hear some of them presently.  Boy. 
Why sir; I can accuse him for picking of your kocket calling you son of a whore Rogue, Knave, Cheat, striking of you with a sword, with a staff, with a pot, a Candlestick, or stabbed you with a Tobacco-pipe, or— are you married?  Trim. 
Yes Sir.  Boy. 
Then if you will Sir, I'll swear I saw him lie with your wife.  Trim. 
No, no, hang you, I'll have thee swear to nothing that appears like truth, you shall find cause enough to swear I'll warrant you, and so we shall have all.  Tripes. 
I should know this boy, a pretty ingenious Lad; Dost thou not know me jack?  Boy. 
My name's Richard Philpot, I was born in Turnbal-street  Tripes. 
'Tis true, 'tis true, dost not know me Dick Filpot?  Boy. 
No truly Sir.  Tripes. 
How doth thy father, is thy mother living still?  Boy. 
No Sir, she's dead; did you know her Sir?  Tripes. 
Did I know her, I a dozen years before I knew thee, why thou art now, let me see, 1641. thou art now some 14. years of age Dick.  Boy. 
I am almost 15. Sir.  Tripes. 
I think thou want'st half a year on't.  Boy. 
No Sir, I want but a quarter.  Tripes. 
ay, thereabouts, didst never hear thy father speak of me Dick.  Boy. 
No indeed Sir.  Tripes. 
I am thy Godfather.  Boy. 
Are you Sir?  Tripes. 
Am I quotha, who would have thought to have seen this boy here; do thy duty; I shall find something for thee.  Boy. 
Pray Godfather give me your blessing.  Tripes. 
Good boy, thou art no Brownist, I see thou canst kneel to thy Godfather for a gift, so can some of them too for thy hopes, but i'faith boy I cannot part with money at this time, thou shalt have my blessing.  Omnes. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Boy. 
A pox of your blessing, I thought how well you were my Godfather; had it not been for the hopes of your money I'd have seen you hanged e'er I'd have believed you, I know where my Godfathers are, though I'd have satisfied your humour for your money.  Within. 
Boy, Drawer, Drawer.  Trim. 
Boy look to your charge, they are come.  Boy. 
By and by, anon, anon Sir.  Exit boy. Mrs. Hem. 
Go all of you into that room.  Mr. Hem. 
The watchwords shall be, I wonder he stays so long. Mr. Trim. I would not have you seen.  Exeunt Serj. and Trimwel. Trim. 
No, I'll warrant you.  Mrs. Hem. 
You are very welcome Gent.  Ent. Wild. Fly. Riu. & Mrs. Trim. Wild. 
Are you the Master of the house?  Mr. Hem. 
Yes Sir, for want of a better.  Wild. 
It may be so; what shall I call your name?  Mr. Hem. 
My name is Hemlock Sir.  Fly. 
Thou art half hanged, thou hast an ill name Hemlock and a Vintner, bless me from thy wine; did there not a couple of Sergeants bring in a Gentleman even now?  Mr. H. 
Yes Sir, are you the Gentleman he sent for?  Fly. 
Where is he?  Mr. H. 
He and the Sergeants are gone into Cheapside to a friend of his that he hopes will bail him, they'll be here presently, this is his room.  Fly. 
Why would not that friend come hither?  Mr. H. 
He was in bed Sir.  Fly. 
A poor excuse, that man will scarce be bail, that will not leave his bed to save his friend.  Mr. 
I hope Sir you will do him some good, he's a pretty Gentleman, 'tis pity he should suffer.  Fly. 
It is indeed, hath he paid the reckoning.  Mr. 
No Sir.  Fly. 
How long hath he been gone?  Mr. 
Half an hour Sir, I wonder he stays so long.  Enter Sergeants. Wild. 
How now, who are these?  Tripes. 
Is your name Mr. Flylove?  Fly. 
Yes Sir.  Tripes. 
I arrest you at the suit of Alice Drowsy.  Riu. draws, offers to run at the Serj. and the Mr. o'th' house coming between, he is hurt i'th' arm, then comes in the mistress. Riu. 
Arrest my friend!  Wild. 
Then let me suffer too.  Mrs. H. 
Murder, murder, murder, go run and call the Watch, my husband's killed.  Constable. 
Beat down their weapons, I charge you in the King's name to keep his peace.  Riu. 
The King's peace we will keep.  Const. 
Or we shall force you.  Riu. 
Did nothing urge me to't but your force, I should not fear to break it.  Const. 
Sir you have killed the Master of the house.  Riu. 
I'm very sorry for't Sir.  Const. 
That is no satisfaction.  Riu. 
He is a man I meant no hurt to; Sir do you send for Chirurgeon to night, I'll send you one to morrow, I guess the danger of the wound; Come Sir, where will you conduct us?  Const. 
To the next prison.  Wild. 
Oh that's the Compter.  Riu. 
Come then we'll altogether and make a merry night, no question but we shall come off to morrow; I pray Mr. Constable will you come for us betimes.  Const. 
You shall have all the favour I can do you, I am sorry for this chance.  Fly. 
Faith so am I  Exeunt. Trim. 
And I am sorry too but cannot cry,  Ent. Trimw. 
Now Is my plot made perfect, all the wheels  
Are in a general motion, I must follow, I shall  
Never think they are in prison, till I see them  
Within the Compter-gates.  
My singing Gallants your mad misdemeanour,  
Shall bring you now to sing the Compter tenor.  Exit.   

Actus quartus,  

Scaena prima.  Enter as in the Compter Wildblood, Rivers, Flylove, Mrs. Trimwel and Keeper. Wild. 
Blood of the Rivers, thou beginst to droop,  
Thy soul seems not so active as it was:  
Where be those capering pieces of pure flash,  
That made the genius of the place grow Comick?  
By the wanton memory of Chaucer I could turn Poet,  
And write in as Heathen English; and as bawdy;  
I'll not to bed to night.  Rivers. 
Nor I by jove.  Fly. 
By jupiter nor I, shall we be jovial; why should we not; conceive this place a Tavern, one place may serve for two uses; some conceive it the habitation of the sorrowful, and our free spirits shall convert it to a Paradise of delight; Pray Sir what hour of the night is't.  Keeper. 
Past twelve Sir.  Fly. 
It is an age to morning: Frank Rivers, prithee cheer up the woman, she droops.  Riu. 
Dost thou want rest?  Mrs. Trim. 
Yes Sir, far more than sleep.  Riu. 
Thy mind's disquiet then, prithee be cheerful,  
Sorrows are momentary as well as joys;  
Were lithe ' bottom of the Ocean,  
I'd bear my head up, till my own weight sunk me.  
Sir, can we have some Wine.  Keep. 
I'll ring the Bell for you, they are up at the Feathers-Tavern; they lie at a safe Guard, they'll have their money beforehand.  Fly. 
With all my heart, we shall not be mis-reckoned then, here's money for a pottle of Canary, the night is somewhat cold, and Sack is sprightly.  Keep. 
Hugh, Hugh.  Enter Drawer at the window. Hugh. 
What a Hugh and cry you make, I have stayed up these two nights, you are all mad I think, will you not go to bed to night.  Wild. 
Prithee honest Hugh (if thy name be so) fill us one pottle of Canary, let's have clean pipes and Tobacco.  Hugh. 
Where's your money?  Riu. 
At hand, at hand, my midnight Drawer.  Hugh. 
Who's that, Mr. Rivers?  Riu. 
ay, dost know me?  Hugh. 
Do! Sir, I filled you many a gallon of Wine at the Bear upon Fleet-bridge.  Riu. 
Oh, thouart an honest blade, I know thee, prithee fill me good Wine.  Hugh. 
The best in the Cellar.  Exit. Wil 
Hark you sir, is there not a French knight in the house?  Keep. 
His name is Sir Reverence Lamard, he lies two stories higher to the street.  Riu. 
A lamentable story! can you not invite him down?  Keep. 
I'll try Sir.  Riu. 
thouart an honest Keeper.  Fly. 
These Keepers have been rumoured to be churlish; I like this fellows humour very well.  Wild. 
Oh what a crew of Wine-Leaches shall we have stick upon us to morrow morning for our Garnish, we are of the Master-side, your half-crowns a piece Gentlemen, I know the order, I have commenced in this College before now.  Hugh. 
A pottle of Canary in the Compter, score.  Enter Drawer with Wine. Fly. 
In the Compter you rogue; Sir can't you show us a better room.  Hugh. 
It is too late Sir, pray be civil, and keep your own room.  Exit Drawer. Fly. 
Is this the end of our travail? Here's a Health to our good deliverance.  Wild. 
By the blood of Bacchus I'll pledge thee.  Fly. 
Come I'll begin a mad Health, and let every man have his fancy.  
Here's a curse to all those  
That are Prisoners foes,  
And the Coward that goes  
To undo men for blows,  
Who doth basely expose  
Their bodies to throws,  
In a Prison where grows  
Infection to th' nose,  
And from top to the toes  
Are tormented with woes,  
Till, be it spoke under the Rose,  
They're meat for the Crows,  
Confusion to those  
In Meeter and Prose.  Wild. 
Pray drink off your cup, and we'll all keep the close, here comes my white Knight in his Lawn sleeves, now if a Quaker saw him he would take his shirt for a Surpless, and condemn it for a Babylonish Garment, or in good sooth and verily a wicked and superstitious remnant of that foul flappes the whore of Babylon.  Sir Rev. 
Begar that whore of Babylon be one of me Aunts.  Riu. 
Monsieur you see we are come to bear you company, you shall not engross the prison to yourself.  Sir Rev. 
Me tank you for noting, you can no give me the sheet now as you have from (vat do you call de fader of de pig)  Fly. 
The father of the Pig; a Hog.  Sir R 
Hog, hog, hog, as you gave me the sheet at Hogdown.  Riu. 
Well forget it, there was no hurt meant, on my credit, there was another cause you must not know.  Sir R. 
Begar but me do know already, you carry away the Surzhons vife, begar he be horn-mad.  Wild. 
How came you to know this? would he reveal it?  Sir R. 
Yes begar and more to, 'twas he that make Drowsy de Kishin-wensh to arrest Monsieur Flylove.  Riu. 
The devil at last is even with us.  A shout in the Hole. Within. Room for my Lord Judge. Fly. 
How now what's the matter?  Keep. 
This noise is i'th' King's Ward; 'tis termed the Hole.  Fly. 
But are they allowed to be so loud there.  Keep. 
We cannot check a Custom they have used,  
Which is when a new Prisoner first comes in,  
They have a Scene of mirth, where one is Judge,  
And sits a trial upon life and death.  Fly. 
May we not see them Sir.  Keep. 
I have no privilege to open Wards at this late hour o'th' night, left some combustion happen amongst the prisoners, which my strength will be too weak to pacify.  Riu. 
My life for yours no danger Sir.  Keep. 
Ye appear honest Gentlemen, and I'll trust ye.  Riu. 
Thank you Sir; come Monsieur will you walk down.  Sir R. 
Zhentlem me vill vait on you to morrow, but me must come to bed; but me have another plot in my head begar.  Fly. 
Well Monsieur good night, take rest, and sleep secure.  Sir R. 
Awee Monsieur tres humble serviteur.   

Act 4. Scaen. 2.  Enter as in the Hole Wildfire, Lord Lows-proof, Steward Rentfree Constable-Lazy, and Chamberlain-Iaylbird. Rent. 
What is your name my friend?  Lows. 
You must tell the Steward your name, you will be the sooner entered a member of the Sheriffs-Basket, there is (my friend) a strange miracle in our living, we never want meat yet keep continual fast; and yet all that fast, you may see by our Clothes we are loose enough; we live in imitation of the Owls, we sleep i'th' day time, and revel all the night: Some beds we have for Gentlemen of quality, as myself being the Lord, Steward Rentfree, Constable Lazy, and Chamberlain jaylbird.  Wildf. 
Gentlemen, I was a Page to a Knight that was a prisoner in this house Sir Rev. Lamard, my name is Wildfire.  Lows. 
Prithee stand farther off, thou wilt melt me else.  jayl. 
My Lord begins to hiss.  Lows. 
Gentlemen of the Kings-Ward let us consult upon the business, 'tis for the good of the Hole, and of the whole House; let us for once be wiser and honester than e'er we have been, there may come much mischief by this Wildfire, if he stay long he will consume us, and every creeping thing about us, our beds being all straw is very combustible; the very blowing on's nose blows a bed up.  Rent. 
There's a Bug upon your Honour's doublet.  Lows. 
Is there but one, give it Wildfire, he is fit for nothing but to receive my Moabites in reversion, they may live upon him like so many Salamanders; I will petition to morrow for the discharge of Wildfire, he shall not stay with us, we must have Wildfire put out, 'tis pity such a spark should be in the Compter.  Enter Keeper, Flylove, Rivers, Wildblood, Mrs. Trimw. 
Stand aside, here comes the Gentlemen Rats, it is most fit I give them the first salutation; Gentlemen you are most unhappily encountered.  Fly. 
I do most unfortunately thank you Sir, we come to see your Revels, are they ended? are you my Lord?  Lazy. 
Yes Sir, he's my Lord.  Fly. 
Well Gentlemen we make bold to visit you, and (to be the better welcome) we have brought with us each man a bottle of Canary; who's that knocks?  Keep. 
'Tis somebody at the Compter-gate, some more Rats I believe.  knocking at the Compter-gate. Wild. 
Bring them hither of what degree soever.  Exit Keeper and Lousy. Lazy. 
ay, I, Hole 'em, Hole 'um um'; Rat, tat tat, this is the City-Mous-trap; here do we lie at a sure ward, revel all night, and breath defiance to the Watch and the Constable; we have suffered under the terror of Authority, and now we have got the Law in our own hands.  Lousy. 
A Rat, a Rat, a Rat.  Enter Lousy. Riu. 
What are they, Citizens or Gentlemen?  Low. 
No, no, they are neither Citizens nor Gentlemen, and yet they are a company for Lords, they are musical Rats, singing Rats, men that are come to keep time in the Compter; they are crowding in, therefore you that mean to express your activity, prepare and be in readiness, a man in prison may easily do his cinquepace.  Enter Keeper and the Musicians. Fly. 
These are the Blades that were with us at Hogsdon; this was some precise Constable, some brother o'th' Family, that sent the Musicians to prison, or else some jovial Humourist that had a mind the prisoners should be merry to night; well my Masters, since you are here, strike up courageously, here be Gentlemen have a mind to discover their footing, you shall not lose your labour, I'll pay your Fees in the morning.  Fiddlers. 
We thank you noble Mr. Flylove.  Low. 
Gentlemen, throw of your bottomless pantofles, and let's to't, here's Sack to cherish us when we have finished.  They Dance on Antic. Wildb. 
Gentlemen, we thank you, when we're at liberty, we'll send you something worth your estimation, in the mean time drink that.  Gives them money. Fly. 
I come, let's go, I do not like the fume of this close room; how fare you Mrs. Trimwel?  Mrs. Trim. 
Well Sir, but that the scent is somewhat noisome, the room above, from whence we came, is sweeter.  Riu. 
Come, we'll go up again then.  Fly. 
ay, I, let's go, good-night good friends.  Omnes. 
We thank you Gentlemen, we'll drink your healths to morrow morning.  Riu. 
In the morning Music we'll keep our words with you, but I shall talk with you for the trick you put upon me at Hogsdon.  Fiddlers. 
It was no fault of ours indeed Mr. Rivers, we'll make't appear to morrow.  Exeunt Rivers, Mrs. Trim. Wildblood and Flylove. Riu. 
Well, well, good night.  Omnes. 
Good night to you all Gentlemen.  Lows. 
Come my Masters we that were Dancers will make an equal division of the Gentleman's bounty, here is ten shillings, and we are six on's.  Ren. 
12. d. a piece, & the rest in drink among the prisoners  Lows. 
I like the motion well my equal Steward, here is some Sack left, that we'll drink with the Musicians, and excuse their Garnish in the morning.  Omnes. 
Agreed, agreed.  Lows. 
Let us consult farther in our withdrawing room: How now Chamberlain cannot you leave your old trade? must you be filching? wouldst thou undo a poor Commonwealth at one pull thou unconscionable thief, but I am too subtle for you sirrah, you can't deceive me; The devil take me if my Angel leave me.  Rent. 
Nobly spoke my Lord; room for my Lord there.  Enter above with a long rope Sir Rev. Lamard. Sir Rev. 
'Tis very light, begar me shall be discover; now if my string do slip, down goes Sir Reverence upon some Wash-mans' head, and begar that vill bewray all; I can see no candle, dear be no body up in de street, and me can hear noting but the Fiddles in the Prison; if I shall break my neck in sundra for my liberty, begar my adversary make dice of my bones, but I shall cozen him, for my bone crumble to ashes: So, so, vas very fast, and so fast, as me can, me vill down; Begar me tink it be somewhat strange that me must come to be save by the Rope, but if I be taken, for aught I know I shall be hang in de Rope. I care not me shall He slides down and resteth on the Feathers Tavern. ventre for all dat, as good be hang as live in prison: Begar here comes somebody with light, me shall be taken, dear Ent. Pimpw. drunk with a Torch in his hand. be no vay to scape, and me cannot climb up again: Oh Diabolo vat shall become of me, de vindow be shut, me can no creep into the Tavern, and I shall not be taken for Zhorge a horseback, as me saw once in the Play; begar does man be drunk, I see by his stagger.  Pimpw. 
A saucy Constable to question my lodging, cannot a man go home to his house in peace? Is it not sufficient that I can carry myself to the Compter, but I must be beholding to an enigmatical Constable, and his mischievous Watch; a man can no sooner come near them, but who goes there? come before the Constable; Come afore a Cuckold, Oh such a rogue would be hanged; Let me see, where am I? this is Woodstreet, whereabouts is the Feathers-Tavern.  Sir Rev. 
A pox for you, you be too near the Feder-Tavern already, and begar now I see him, does fellow be prisoner in de Compter, but I have an invention he shall no spy me, begar me vill creep into does Bush, and ven he be gone me shall go down courageo.  Pimpw. 
This is the Compter where many a man lies with a heavy heart, I have been a prisoner this two or three years, yet I walk abroad at my leisure, and am as drunk as a devil for my pleasure.  Sir Rev. 
Begar me have extreme need to make vater, I shall pish my breesh, Oh Diabolo I sall be found, begar me can stay no longra, me shall burse.  Pimpw. 
I will knock up this rogue Hugh at the Feathers; Hugh, Hugh, you rogue rise, my name's Pimpwel, you sleepy rogue rise and let me in, must I wait upon you with a pox to you. Nouns what's that?  Sir Rev. pisseth upon him. Sir Rev. 
Begar now I be undone in a pissing uhile.  Pimpw. 
You son of a Bachelor, do you throw your Pisspots upon my head, if I could find stones I'd break your windows, but since I cannot, I will even make bold to see fire of your Bush, then throw your water and spare not.  Sir Rev. 
Oh Mordieu, me shall be burn in the Bush, or be hang in de Rope, I vould I were in me chamber again.  Pimpw. 
What's here, a Rope? some prisoner Pimpw. spieth the rope. has made an escape out of the Masters-side; there's money for somebody to pay, I'll in and call the Turn-key, a prisoner escaped, a prisoner, a prisoner.  Within. From whence? Pimpw. 
A private chamber in the Masters-side.  Within. A prisoner, a prisoner. Pimpw. 
Look, look, here's the Rope.  Ent. 2. or 3. Keepers. Keep. 
Run up to the Master's side, see if the French Knight be in's Chamber, his Action is 6000. l. we are all undone if he escape away.  Exit 2. Keepers. Pimpw. 
ay, I, we are all undone, if he be gone here's Rope enough for us all.  3. Keep. 
Pox on you for a drunken rogue, where hast been?  Pimpw. 
Drinking wine in bowls boys, I am almost drunk, but what shall we do for the prisoner, shall I run after him?  3. Keep. 
Which way is he gone?  Pim. 
The Lord knows.  2. Keep. 
Hallowgh?  1. Keep. 
What say you?  2. Keep. 
The French Knight is escaped, you must make swift pursuit, he cannot be gone far.  1. Keep. 
Pluck up the Rope; look well tothth' Gate, Pimpwel run you to Cripplegate, you to some other Watches, and all the way you run, cry out a prisoner.  Exit. 3. Keep. 
A prisoner, a prisoner.  Ex. keep. several ways. Sir Reverence comes out of the Bush. Sir Rev. 
Oh the great pox run with you all, vat a fear have they put me in, begar me vill not stay, 'tis very light, I see no passenger, dis vas de bravest time: So, now me are down, foutra for Keeper; begar me can no shuse but laugh, how they run away from me to find me; Oh me brave bush! Fish vay sall me take to be safe, me must come no near Cripplegate, nor Sheapside, I shall take some udder vay, the devil is in me if I come again; Farewell good Compter, I am not loath to part from you: I remember two line of an Englishman dat vent from the Prison, they var des:  
Dis House must be let at a miserable rate,  
For I ha' lost my Shambra, any man may have't:  
Farewell Comptera.  Exit. Enter Splendora and a Keeper. [Mercurio? Splend. 
Can you direct me to the hapless lodging of young  Keep. 
He lies i'th' Masters-side, he is a Gentleman whose misery works much compassion in each Officer, I would my power could save him.  Splend. 
Thank you Sir?  
Such worthy wishes in such men as you,  
Who bear a function of that cruel nature,  
Being so rare, appears most excellent;  
Pray tell me Sir, how doth he take his sufferings?  Keep. 
I think he is in love; he's often heard  
To sigh a Lady's name, and sing sad Sonnets  
In dissolving passion,  
Such as might melt the Tyger-cruelty  
Of men turned Tyrants; thus much I observe,  
The prison doth not fright him from his rest,  
Like his divorce from her whose name he fighs so;  
I'll call him if you please, yet 'tis somewhat early.  Splend. 
Sir, I give thanks  
Unto your loving diligence, and with your leave,  
I shall conceive it but a friendly Office,  
To spare his labour, and walk up to him.  Exit Splend. Keep. 
Those stayrs direct you, turn on your left hand.  Enter to the Keeper Bellaflora. Bella. 
Are you the Keeper Sir?  Keep. 
I turn the key, my Office is as much  
To let men out as in; I take no pride,  
To stand 'twixt men and freedom, suck a Keeper  
I am, and would be thought.  Bella. 
Heaven be thy Keeper, and grant thy place corrupt thee not; pray Sir, was there not brought in amongst other Gentlemen, a prisoner late last night, called Mr. Flylove?  Keep. 
Yes Lady.  Bella. 
How could I speak a word in private with him? the business which I have concerns his freedom.  Keep. 
I shall be glad to call him,— Mr. Flylove.  Prisoners within. Mr. Flylove, Mr. Flylove. Ent. Flylove. Fly. 
What a noise you make, I'm become a man of calling now; who is't would speak with me Sir.  Keep. 
Here's a fair Lady, I'll leave you to your opportunity.  Exit Keeper. Fly. 
Gramercy honest Keeper: How now, who's this?  
How my blood startles in me on the sudden?  Bella. 
What, do I fright you Sir? I come to see and comfort you with my best love to file your Fetters off.  Fly. 
Such charitable language, and such face  
Had beauteous Bellaflora, to whose soul  
Mine was contracted, but my breach of vow,  
Joined with the infamy of this Ioathed action,  
So lately done, hath sent her far from me;  
This is the pleasant widow we met at Hogsdon,  
I remember now;  
But see how guilt will fool a man, I was  
Admiring how you thought to find me here.  Bella. 
Some other time I'll tell you, if I may  
(Without the breach of modest manners) ask you  
What is the cause of your imprisonment?  Fly. 
What a question's that? I'll lie i'th' Compter all my life time, ere I make known the cause that laid me here, a toy, a trifle, for nothing but disputing with the Constable, here's jack Wildblood and Frank Rivers in the house (three merry boys be we) here's the woman too, will you go see them.  Bella. 
No Sir, but if the cause of your restraint from freedom be of that easy value, you'll be gone within an hour.  Fly. 
ay, I, within this hour at the farthest.  Bell. 
Poor man, how thou deceiv'st me and thyself,  aside 
I as much blush to let him understand  
I know the cause of his affliction,  
As he doth to reveal it; if you please  
I'll stay till you go off.  Fly. 
You may stay this twelvemonth for aught aside I know; I must put her off, to say the plain truth Lady I have an Action entered against me since I came in.  Bella. 
You need not let that fright you, I have so much skill, although a very unexperienced woman to tell you, whilst you are under the command of any Justice for the breach o'th' peace, you are not liable to any Action.  Fly. 
She says true, where the Devil got you so much law?  Bella. 
Come, come, I know the cause that keeps you here.  Fly. 
How! I am sorry for that.  aside. Bell. 
ist not a woman's Action?  Fly. 
A woman's Action.  Bell. 
I have hit the mark, and I could name the party.  Fly. 
Lady I'll take my leave, I'm called above.  Bella. 
Indeed you are not Sir, pray stay a little,  
I know you think the fact you have committed,  
To be of that vile nature, that you blush  
To tell or think I know it; you the less  
Stand in my condemnation for the ill,  
Because 'twas acted on so much deformity,  
It makes me think some Witchcraft, drink, or madness  
Possessed you at that time; they being removed,  
Your penitence brings back your ravished worth,  
And you are man again, but the nice winner  
Of every fair one's a judicious sinner,  
And in that judgement multiplies each fact,  
And finds his Tragedy in the last Act.  Fly. 
This circumstance confirms your knowledge of it,  
And I am sorry.  Bell. 
That I know't.  Fly. 
'tis true.  Bella. 
But if you pleaseed shan't be the worse for you,  
Would I were beautiful enough to please you,  
Or had a mind that you might think so fair,  
To merit your best wishes in the bliss  
Of sacred Wedlock, you should then be sure  
To shake this bondage off.  Fly. 
Pray let me pause.  
My former rashness may take licence for't;  
I am in prison, and the Law exacts  
My body for a year; I could produce  
Such bail as is sufficient for my freedom,  
But I will perish e'er I reveal my scandal;  
This woman's fair, and hath a face so like  
To one, whose memory I owe my being,  
I know not what to answer; Then again  
'Tis for my freedom, from a bondage which  
May ruin soul and body; I'm resolved,  
If Bellaflora knew it, so would she,  
And pardon all, which works my Liberty.  
You do not ask me this to try me, do you?  Bella. 
No by those joys I wish for.  Fly. 
Nor tell me of my fact, or of your friendship,  
At every angry occasion,  
Which the best married pair seldom avoid.  Bella. 
May all my life be made of discontents,  
And they in old age kill me, if I do.  Fly. 
How near she comes to Bellaflora still,  
In all her noble actions; If I could  
Believe the Pythagorean axioms true,  
Of transmigrated spirits, did the Grave  
Contain my Bellaflora, I should think  
This frame contained her soul, the Gods would sure  
Consume me, if this Contract I now make  
And seal, this virtuous woman were not lawful:  
By all the joys eternal, by the hopes  
I have to live a life that's long and blessed,  
To see a numerous issue fairly bred  
In all their actions, showing still the minds  
Of their long sleeping Ancestors, I'll be  
Thy husband, love, and life, I'll marry thee.  Bella. 
This day.  Fly. 
This very day.  Within. Stephen Flylove, the Constable's come. Keep. 
Sir, the Constable waits for you.  Ent. keeper. Bella. 
Delay not, i'th' mean time I'll bail you here,  
Remember Sir.  Fly. 
I do.  Bella. 
Adieu my dear.    

Actus quintus,  

Scaena prima.  Enter Flyl. Bellafl. Rivers, Mrs. Trimwel and Wildblood. Wild. 
Welcome to liberty my Cavaliers,  
The gaudy portals of the red-cheeked morn,  
Stand wide to entertain you, and delight  
Your sickened senses with the bright display  
Of glittering Phoebus.  Rivers. 
Your genius soars too high, you'll melt his wings.  Wild. 
I am airy as Philetus when he tripped  
Over the ears of Corn, and ne'er bent head;  
I could outrun Atlanta.  Rivers. 
Atlanta? within these two hours a Cripple could outrun thee, and give thee five in the fifteen:  
But Stephen, why so stupid? rouse thy spirit;  
Can Liberty discomfort, or the exchange  
Of grates for fragrant fields dismay thee thus.  Fly. 
Faith I am dull, and I ha' reason for't.  Wild. 
What is the melancholy matter prithee?  Fly. 
That which will move you all when I shall speak;  
Mercurio's dead.  Rivers. 
Dead!  Wild. 
He was well last night.  Fly. 
He died this morning.  Wild. 
Oh my poor lost friend!  Rivers. 
His cruel Creditor is paid; Oh my Mercurio!  Fly. 
I knew 'twould dull you all as well as I,  
This day his Funeral is, I hope you'll be  
The sad spectators of his Obsequies,  
Raynard the Keeper will instruct you when,  
And tell you more, pray go and leave me here,  
I have a sadness that concerns not you,  
I'll put it off and meet ye.  Riu. 
Good morrow Stephen.  Wild. 
Farewell friend.  Mrs. Trim. 
Good morrow Mr. Flyl.  Fly. 
Your humble servant; Lady what stay you for?  Exe. Bella. 
Where would you have me be?  Riu. Wild. Mrs. T. Fly. 
Where you please; I can't command your being.  Bella. 
What means my Love?  
Your speech betrays some discontent in you.  Fly. 
Yes, I'm troubled, Oh my sweet Bellaflora!  Bella. 
Who do you sigh for Sir?  Fly. 
A friend, a friend, an honest friend of mine.  Bella. 
This is a time to banish discontents.  Fly. 
No, no, to increase them.  Bell. 
It is an hour was made to consecrate our holy contract  Fly. 
Why I, I told you so.  Bell. 
Will you not marry me.  Fly. 
I will not break my faith to Bellafl●ra  
To gain a Queen, a Goddess.  Bella. 
Then you have plighted faith unto another.  Fly. 
Yes cunning temptress I have.  Bell. 
Why do you blemish my well-meaning heart,  
With such a title?  Fly. 
Could your securer subtlety presume  
On no deceit but this? Had you proposed  
Out of some Magazine of rarities,  
Gold, Silver, Jewels, though they were as precious  
As Erephile's Bracelet (which she sold  
Her dear affecting husband for) I had  
Esteemed them all as nothing, but weak I  
Too fond of (what I now curse) Liberty,  
Must sell my peace, my life, and much I fear  
My bliss eternal.  Bella. 
Oh you Angels, where  
Lives there a faithful man, why did you make  
This solemn Contract to me.  Fly. 
'Twas a bad protestation, and the breach  
Is better than performance, yet because  
You shall not say I cheated favours from you,  
Resign me to my prison, where I'll live,  
Only with thinking of my Bellaflora,  
Her very name shall purify the air,  
And make a dungeon grow as fragrant,  
As Meadow Flowers in triumphant june.  Bella. 
Thou common man that dost two contracts break,  
I have so much to say, I cannot speak.  Exit Bellaflora. Fly. 
Like men for Robberies that lose their breath,  
I leave the prison to embrace my death.  Exit Flylove. Enter Rivers and Mrs. Trimwel. Mrs. Trim. 
You are very wanton Frank.  Rivers. 
Now I have got thee single, shall we try  
An amorous duel for a boy now, I'm all fire,  
And could perform an act 'bove Hercules;  
Glue thy red lips to mine, and let us prove,  
The jocund pleasure of the billing Dove.  They kiss. 
Again, once more, you do not do it heartily,  
We'll make a numeration from a kiss,  
Shall pose Arithmetic.  Mrs. Trim. 
You'll tell of this.  Riu. 
Steal, and reveal; he's a bold thief indeed.  Mrs. Trim. 
There are too many such.  
They cannot have a favour,— such a one.  Rivers. 
ay, such a one.  Mrs. Trim. 
As you imagine, but they must reveal it,  
As if it were a second sport to tell it.  Rivers. 
They glory in their actions, and would prove  
How much they merit by their Lady's love;  
This I disdain.  Mrs. Trim. 
Do ye use to talk in your sleep, you'll tell it to your bedfellow.  Riu. 
You are too jealous of me.  Mrs. Trim. 
Come then, I'll try thee, kiss me,  
That's the first peal to bed, but I won't trust ye.  Rivers. 
Why do you mock me thus?  Mrs. Trim. 
The cause being so great, I may be doubtful,  
You'll have another Love, than out goes all,  
But use your will.  Rivers. 
To do thy will a pleasure, shall we be private.  Mrs. Trim. 
As private as you please.  Rivers. 
Such privacy best pleaseth.  Mrs. Trim. 
Come let's away then.  They offer to off. Rivers. 
Stay (upon better thought) I have  Riu. returns. 
No such desire to't.  Mrs. Trim. 
How?  Riu. 
Prithee be not angry, I am very loath to go to hell so easily.  Mrs. Trim. 
What pretty change is this?  Riu. 
I would it pleased you, pray satisfy one thought and I am for you.  Mrs. Trim. 
Willingly.  Riu. 
And truly.  Mrs. Trim. 
By my life I will.  Riu. 
Did never silken Gallant with quaint words,  
A fair proportioned body, and smooth chin,  
Such as you women like, tempt you to this,  
This feat, before I moved you.  Mrs. Trim. 
Never.  Riu. 
Never, prithee bethink thyself, you doubt me still.  Mrs. Trim. 
But you suspect me more, I vow never.  Riu. 
How fain would I believe thee, if thou swearest true,  
thou'rt fitter far for Heaven then this act,  
Which thou shalt ne'er be guilty of for me;  
What pity 'tis to take fair new blanched Lawn,  
And sprinkle ink on't; let not your husband's doubts,  
Bred by your frequent absence, and such hour's  
Civility ne'er warranted, urge you  
To acts that cause his shame, and your own shame.  Mrs. Trim. 
What's ' your intent for this.  Riu. 
I'll tell you.  
The guilty giddy people, who conceive  
All acts more vile than they appear,  
Have spread an infamy upon us both,  
Which if unquelled, in time will fix a stain,  
(though causeless) which no Rhetoric can charm  
To alteration; thus in brief I'll do,  
By a most quaint invention I have thought,  
I shall return you to your husband, who  
Shall with his love, not jealousy, embrace you,  
And to the bold ears of the rumorous world,  
Declare his error, and your innocence.  Mrs. Trim. 
A very modest way to do me mischief,  
I thank you for your love, your honest love.  Rivers. 
That you'll confess hereafter, will you go?  Exit Mrs. Trim. 
Yes Sir, I'll wait on you;  
Am I betrayed by tricks? a Letter opened,  
The secret read, and then sealed up again?  
Inquisitive fool, thy dear experience shall  
Instruct thee, what a fate he undergoes,  
That turns the fierce stream of a woman's love:  
I could be less impatient had he spoke  
From knowledge of my guilt, then know my will,  
And afterwards disclose me; well I'll disguise my anger,  
And frame a fierce revenge shall make thee tremble,  
Women act mischief sure when they dissemble.  Exit.  

Act. 3. Scaen. 2.  Enter Mr. Nice and Splendora. Nice. 
Is the French Knight in prison, what is his debt?  Splen. 
Six thousand pound they say Sir.  Nice. 
'tis a great sum, I have been wrong informed,  
'Twas credibly reported on the Change,  
He had a free estate, his Traffic great,  
A most unquestioned credit; and doth all  
Conclude in this, they did not mean me well  
That tempted my belief thus.  Splend. 
Shall my suit have gracious hearing yet Sir?  Nice. 
What for Mereurio?  
Because I was so near to be deceived,  
With the feigned riches of a Bankrupt,  
Would you betray yourself to certain beggary.  Splen. 
Will you be pleased to free him from his bondage?  
It is reported he is sick, that place  
Will kill him, where is then your satisfaction?  Nice. 
He cannot want a friend for twenty pound,  
I will not lose my money, I'll take time,  
If he can fit me with security.  Splen. 
Alas he is not able.  Enter Mercurio on a Hearse, four Bearers (as Mourners) Wild. Riu. Flyl. Mrs. Trim. Raynard, Pimpwel. They set the Coffin before Nice, and Flylove makes an Oration. Nice. 
What are these; hark you friend, whose body's this?  
And whither carry you it?  Fly. 
Here Sir our journey ends,  
It is the body of deceased Mercurio,  
A prisoner at your suit, who died this morning,  
And thus according to an ancient custom,  
We bear him to you (all that's left)  
His bones to make you satisfaction,  
Because his poverty enforced him (living)  
To keep your right from you; withal, our form  
Is to deliver to the Creditor,  
At whose peculiar suit the debtor dies,— A bale of Dice.  Nice. 
Strange custom; Heaven! how it doth amaze me.  Fly. 
I have a little speech that must excuse  
The expenses of a bought Oration, which concerns  
His miserable end, and cause of it, and I have done.  She sowns. Splen. 
Oh my Mercurio.  Riu. 
Look to the Lady.  Fly. 
When he came in he wanted all that makes  
Man in this Age substantial (Friends and Coin)  
Which want was soon attended with these, neglect & hunger  
But then the perturbations of his mind,  
His sighing silence only could declare,  
As if they were too vast for elocution;  
Great griefs are tongue-tied, there's no clamour reared,  
So deepest water crawl along unheard.  Nice. 
Most reverend piece of sorrow, whose wet eyes  
Drop, as they would command another Spring,  
To raise the body from its earthly ruin,  
To heat and life again; what friendship had you with him?  Fly. 
Sir, I am one,  
That wish I had such nearness to his virtue,  
As to his blood; a poor unhappy Kinsman.  Nice. 
There's so much Magic in your sorrow Sir,  
All my attentions charmed.  Fly. 
Like men who are near drowning, catch weak hold  
On broken boards, on sedge, or any thing  
Disastrous chance betrays to the wild waves,  
He sends for me that could but grieve his sight,  
With the wet sorrow in my eyes for him:  
Instead of Chambers hung with Tapestry,  
Arras, and Attic pictures, the dark walls  
Are easily beautified with Chalk and Cole,  
According to the melancholy fancy  
Of the sad Prisoners, where the numerous beds  
Show like so many Graves in a Churchyard,  
With the men rising out: No Canopies  
But what the charitable Spider wove,  
To save their always watching eyes from danger,  
For they're unused to sleep.  Nice. 
Alas poor men.  Fly. 
In such a state as this my kinsman lay,  
My poor, poor kinsman.  Nice. 
Thou weep'st too fast old man, I shall not overtake thee.  Fly. 
I sighed, sat down by him, and did observe  
The manner of his Chamber mates, and one  
Beloved above the rest, as it appeared,  
Was cherished with a friend that happy day,  
Who said he came to see him, could not stay,  
Although some Messenger six times had been  
To fetch him, but in vain, was ne'er within  
After he heard the business, though his ear  
Was within hearing of the Messenger:  
At last he was within, without all doubt,  
Because he heard the prisoners going out,  
Gives him a shilling, bids him have good cheer,  
He was glad to see him, sorry to see him here,  
And so he parts, protesting for to come,  
He knows not when, this is his wretched doom  
Of undone debtors, and my kinsman's Tomb.  Nice. 
Since bleeding cleanseth veins, I hope to find  
Th'expense of tears will purify the mind:  
What is this writing Sir?  Fly. 
'Tis his own hand,  
One hour before his death he writ his Epitaph.  Nice. 
With his own hand? pray read it.  Fly. 
I shall Sir.  

EPITAPH.  
I which once with life did move,  
Here lie Coffined up, to prove  
Till death I was Splendora's Love.  
I that have with many groans,  
And wet eyes washed the prison stones,  
For want of Money, pay my bones.  
Let none with exclamation call,  
Upon my name, and scorn my fall,  
I owed but little, and paid all. Mercurio.   Nice. 
Thou hast paid all indeed, thy breath and all,  
Is't were no sin I could bestow a wish,  
That life would visit these cold corpse again.  Fly. 
Where shall we bury him Sir, the custom is  
To bury men in debt i'th' New-Churchyard;  
Shall we dispose him there?  Nice. 
No, since he's dead he shall be well interred,  
Though half my estate waste for it, I have cause,  
He loved Splendora, poor Girl she'll die too;  
To your charge I commit this forty pound,  Gives Rivers the Bag Exit Rivers. 
To provide mourning; I'll have Surgeons straight,  
That shall embalm the body.  Fly. 
You show yourself a noble Gentleman,  
Whose memory we'll pray for; here Frank dispatch.  Rivers. 
It shall be done.  Fly. 
Sir, here be Gentlemen that loved him, are  
Willing to express their loves, they have a Dirge.  Nice. 
They are welcome, I'll attend their ceremony.  

The Dirge. They sing.  
FRom selling, or from mortgaging of Lands,  
From turning over goods in others hands,  
And from the setting of our marks to bands.  
Omnes Cant. Libera nos Domine.   

From cruelty that keeps good men in awe,  
From Sergeants, and such Griffins of the Law,  
And from the chattering of an Yeild-hall Daw.  
Libera nos Domine.   

From living at a miserable rate,  
In prison where all people are ingrate,  
And from the Porters at the Compter gate.  
Libera nos Domine.   

From being dragged in there with cruel gripes,  
By an old cursed Catchpole called Tripes,  
From paying for our Candles and our Pipes,  
Libera nos Domine.   

Next from the Stocks, the Hole, and Little-ease,  
Sad places, which kind Nature do displease,  
And from the rattling of the Keeper's Keys,  
Libera nos Domine.   Fly. 
Is all performed?  Enter Rivers. Riu. 
To a tittle, here's a discharge from the Office.  Fly. 
Then rise from thy dead sleep thou man of care,  
Thy debt is paid, there's joyful news for thee.  Nice. 
Am I deluded,  Enter Splend. Fly. 
Not a jot, come old man embrace him for your son,  
Though he be poor, he is a Gentleman, and meritorious.  Splend. 
But art thou living?  Nice. 
ay, you know it well enough, you shall even go together for your plots, I have paid myself it seems.  Rivers. 
Your Money lies i'th' Office Sir.  Nice. 
'Tis very well, who comes here?  Ent. Trimwel. Wild. 
Ware ho! here comes a mad man.  Trim. 
Yes, a horn-mad man, Myruon are you there?  
And your Sweetheart Rivers, I must part you;  
Unhand him impudence. Rivers draws. [heart.  Riu. 
Sir, if you lay a violent hand on her, I touch your  Trim. 
Gentlemen, Is there law or conscience in this?  
To keep a man's wife, as they say, in spite on's teeth.  Mrs. Trim. 
F. Rivers is more kind than I expected.  aside Rivers. 
Your jealousy hath wracked her virtuous name,  
And by my life she's free from actual ill,  
As e'er thy mother was.  Mrs. Trim. 
He'll ne'er believe you.  Rivers. 
No, he shall I warrant you,  
ere I commit her to your cursed usage,  
I'll see some reformation of your life.  Trim. 
You'll see't.  Rivers. 
Yes Sir, I'll see't.  
My Mother's daughter shall not be exposed  
Unto your giddy humours.  Trim. 
Your Mother's daughter?  Riu. 
Yes Sir, my Sister.  Mrs. Trim. 
What trick is this?  Trim. 
Pray what may I call your name Sir.  Rivers. 
I never feared it, though I have disguised it,  
For some ends which best concern myself,  
Before I went to France, men that would know  
By my own name to call me, called me Brooks.  Mrs. Trim. 
My brother Frederick?  Rivers. 
The same Sister; I must talk with you.  Trim. 
Oh, my shame! Brother I hope you'll forgive me.  Rivers. 
This is no time nor place for our contention.  Nice. 
Who comes here?  Enter Bellaflora richly attired. Fly. 
Either my eyes deceive me, or here comes.  
The form of Bellaflora.  Bella. 
What do you gaze? Do you not know me Sir?  Fly. 
Yes sure, I know you; Are not you Bellaflora?  Bella. 
That is my name.  Fly. 
I know it is, but were not you disguised, and called Fairchaste?  Bell. 
I remember your amorous Alphabet.  Fly. 
O my strange excellent fortune; can you forgive all?  Bella. 
Yes, and seal myself thy own for ever.  Wild. 
My dear Cousin.  Bella. 
How Sir?  Fly. 
'tis so indeed, the Wildblood's out, this is your cousin Worthlove.  Bell. 
Welcome from France good Cousin.  Wild. 
Fair cousin I thank thee, this unity contents me.  Riu. 
As I live here's Sir R. Lamard that broke the prison, how the devil dares he venture.  Ent. Sir Reverence. Sir Rev. 
Be your leave Zhentelmen, room for Sir Reveren. who be come to claim his Lady, his Madam.  Nice. 
How came you out of prison Sir.  Sir Rev. 
Begar me pay the money, and now me come to your dautera.  Nice. 
Now you have paid away your money, the truth is,  
Sir she is disposed of to another.  Keep. 
And we'll dispose of you that can break prisons.  Sir Rev. 
Begar here be the Keeper, vat fall me do now?  Pim. 
Nay, you're fast enough, we'll take an order for your Ili-  Sir Rev. 
Zhentelmen vill no man be my bail? [ding.  Nice. 
The sum is too great for me.  Sir Rev. 
Pray Zhentelmen.  Fly. 
Not I  Rivers. 
Nor I.  Wild. 
Nor I.  Keep. 
Come Sir, you must to prison again.  Sir Rev. 
Must, begar me vill not.  Pimpw. 
Then we must force you Sir.  Sir Rev. 
You Pimping rogue, why do you tug me thus?  
You know me well enough.  Pim. 
What is your tongue changed, what tricks have you?  Sir Rev. 
I'll speak with Mr. Nice. Pray Sir, peruse that Picture and Letter.  Nice. 
'Tis my wife's picture sure; Splendora, was not this your Mother's picture?  Splend. 
Yes Sir, the very same she gave my brother, when he went to Paris.  Nice. 
And this my hand, the Letter that I sent him.  Sir Rev. 
And I your son, come to crave a blessing.  Nice. 
And with my heart thou hast it.  Riu. 
Will Nice.  Sir Rev. 
Mr. Brooks your servant.  Fly. 
Noble Mr. Nice.  Sir Rev. 
Ha, my politic Stephen.  Fly. 
No, my politic William.  Wild. 
Sir I am yours, and joy to see you in England.  Splend. 
Welcome to London brother, you can court a Lady most exactly in broken French.  Sir Rev. 
I am glad it pleased you sister; Keepers I'll quit you presently, that Action which was entered was a plot of mine, to have my father match this Gentleman with my kind sister; there's no danger in't I can assure you.  Keep. 
Well, I'm contented Sir.  Nice. 
You are wags I see; were you sent seven years ago France, and come again to cozen your friends, but Heaven be your joy. Come, cannot you express a little of your French action with these Ladies, shall we not have a Dance?  Fly. 
And very fit, methinks the time requires it.  Rivers. 
With all my heart.  Wild. 
And mine.  Fly. 
Every man take his Lady then.  They Dance. Nice. 
Gentlemen, y'have done exceeding well; if you please to walk in, Dinner at this hour waits for you.  Fly. 
Come my mad merry Mates and fellow-Travellers, let's in and chat the story of our Travels, the tricks of our Disguises, with the quaint and jovial Humours which we have found i'th' Compter.  
To marry and be civil our next care is,  
We now have done enough for Youths Fegaries.    
FINIS.   

Epilogue.  

WEll; How is't now? we heard you laugh, but pray  
Was it at us, the Poet, or the Play?  
The Poet's full of joy though, to the brim,  
And says, he's sure ye do not laugh at him;  
Because, he finds you only laugh at that,  
Which he desires may be worth laughing at:  
And then he heard you Clap; that Verdict stands  
In Law, he hath it under all your hands;  
Unless when we were freed from Woodstreet Den,  
You had a plot to Clap us up again:  
But waving all, we (without more suspense)  
Accept your Clapping in the better sense.  
This is the sum, I have no more to say,  
Either for Poet, Actors, or the Play:  
If his dull Humours please not, we implore,  
That you'll go all tothth' Compter and see more.    

THis Comedy, called, The Walks of Islington and Hogsdon, With the Humours of Woodstreet-Compter, may be Acted: This 2. August, 1641.  
Henry Herbert.