THE DRUDGE:  
OR The Jealous Extravagant.  
A PIECE OF Gallantry.  
Ne Hercules quidem contra Duas.  
LONDON, Printed for Henry Herringman, at the Blue Anchor in the Lower Walk of the New Exchange. 1673.   

TO THE Right Honourable THE Lord BUCKHURST.  
Sir,  
THe scribbling Gentlemen of this impertinent Generation, in despite of all the damning Critics of the age, that very much oblige the Dramatic Tribe with continual matter for their Prologues, are come to that impudence as to write still on, and usher in a bad Treatise with a worse Dedication. This is grown so familiar to the fine Men of the Town, that for all can be said, will still be most damnably opinionate, that the poor fool, that must needs trouble himself with the turning of this foolery, was resolved out of mere complaisance to do as the rest did, and then outrival his fellows too both in nonsense and Impudence, which your Lordship must needs avow he has most egregiously performed, when he assumed the vanity to make your Honour a present of such a trifle. That incomparable Judgement, and Ingenuity that your Lordship is even to a miracle endowed withal, will very much advance the vanity of the proud Translator; the most accomplished wit of the age may have just cause to tremble when he exposes his most absolute and perfect pieces to the censure of your Lordship, (this is a truth that the whole Kingdom is conscious of, and the Turner of this Gallantry was not ignorant of if) as he may justly defy all the world, when he has once acquired your Lordship's approbation of it, but since my French Author was my precedent, and had so good an esteem for this piece, at to judge it worth the acceptance of their Royal Highnesses of Savoy, I suddenly resolved to pursue my Translation, and transcribe his pride of well Gallantry, and that I might assume some liberty to myself, have made it something the more nonsensical (it is possible it may please the better) by prefixing an Epistle to an Epistle, and Dedicating a Dedication. Your Lordship will be graciously pleased to excuse this gay nonsense, and pardon so extravagant an address, which you can only impute to your Noble self, whose very name is so charming and attractive, that I was hurried on by an Entheusiasme of mad Zeal, to Court and Embrace (as I would Health and Happiness, or what else is dearer to me in the world) this blessed occasion to subscribe myself.  
Your Lordsh ps most obedient Servant. J. B.   

TO THE READER.  
Reader,  
I Should do the Monsieur, thee, and myself a most damned injury, should I honour this trifle with the title of a Translation; that word that sounds so gloriously in this pretty Frenchified Generation; and I should be as vain as a Poet is in his Prefaces, his Esjays, his Prologues, his Epilogues, and their Apologies, should I say 'tis my own, and a whole Shoal of English Monsieurs, with a Morbleu, Diantre, etc. would swear it was the Zelotide, and easily detect the Fallacy; what shall I do then with this Monster of a Pamphlet, this Mongrel piece of Gallantry, that has lost every thing that might make it lovely and agreeable? it has lost the snuffling Idium, that great accomplishment in a Gentleman, and is infected with some of the English customs too; but faith, pardon it, for I'll assure you 'tis very fashionable: Here's Kissing and Dancing, etc. here are Treatments and the Fiddles; here are gay, brisk, and Airy Girls too, and the Jilts have such a charming wildness, that it must needs take you, 'tis not possible to be avoided. And if all these Ornaments of a fashionable Treatise, are not enough to set off this poor something, what Name or Title soever you shall please to give it; I know very little in the world. But if all this cannot recommend it to your Charity, & silence the damning Critics of the age, I'm very confident I have▪ that will mightily please the fine Gentlemen of the Town: here's no damned, dull, out of fashion Matrimony in the conclusion, to spoil all that went before. Our Gallant, if he be in Love, it is in a very Honourable way, he still preserves his Liberty, and his Love, that is, he is yet unmarried, for after that ugly thing is once arrived, that has destroyed so many beautiful Affections, and pretty passions in the world, you shall scarce find aught or either. In a word, 'tis at your Mercy, name it, and censure it, damn it as you please, if you can have the heart to damn any thing that is originally French, and when 'tis made English, is as mad as the best of you.  
Farewell.   

TO Their Royal Highness' THE DUKE and DUCHESS OF SAVOY.  
A Sonnet.  

SWeet pair of Royal Lovers that in spite  
Of damned, dull Matrimony, still are so,  
That in chaste Kisses can still take delight,  
Nor do those lawful sweets insipid grow.   

You from the plagues of Marriage still are free  
And after the first month your life commend,  
Your Kisses smack as well as formerly,  
Nor can his Love, nor can her charms have end.   

How from so brave a source can choose but spring  
Or Kings, or something greater than a King?  
What Blessings for your People coining are:  
Could but my pretty fretful Zelotide  
Advance your Joys, and reinforce their Tide,  
How I'd applaud the Jilt, and dote o●…   
Le Pays.   


THE DRUDGE.  
TO His Royal Highness THE DUKE OF SAVOY.  
Sir,  
I should be an enemy to my own glory, should I not endeavour to acquaint all France with the happy destiny my fooleries have found in Piedmont. I heard from Turin, that they had the honour to arrive at your Royal Highness' hands, and the happiness to divert you; and that you were pleased to think my Picture worthy to take up a place in your Cabinet: What an infinite Honour, Sir, must it needs be to one of my capacity to have diverted a Prince, that nothing, that was not uncommon and extraordinary ever yet could, and to find room in a Cabinet, where nothing but precious things are admitted; ought I after so signal a favour vouchsafed by your Royal Highness, still to give my Prose and Verse no better all treatment then that of Fopperies? aught I after all this, to despise the productions of my young Muse. No, Sir, I dare not pursue that my cruelty. And I should believe I injured the soundness of your jundgement, should I preserve my contempt of that, which has merited your esteem. Thus am I now enforced to desert all my modesty at once, and grow as proud as so illustrious an approbation, as your Royal Highness an possibly make me.  
And really, Sir, who dare condemn this pride in me, when they shall consider whence it took its original? and who dare assume the rashness, to be of a different opinion from your Royal Highness? if any Critic durst now condemn any thing of mine, I would appeal to your Royal Highness as a Sovereign Judge in matters of this nature, and this Sovereignty is not less considerable, Sir, than that which your Royal Ancestors have possessed, and left you invested in, as their worthy Successor: It is more glorious ●o have a Sovereignty over the Wits, than the Rabble. Heaven indeed has blest you with a considerable advantage in conserving a Crown and your Life together upon you, but it speaks you her particular Favourite in endowing your Highness with all those Royal qualities, which the management of that Crown with Glory required; and one of these Qualities, Sir, and that not the least considerable, is your incomparable Ingenuity.  
Those Princes that Reign no other way then by their Authority, have no other advantage, than that of being feared of their Subjects, but those that Reign with Mildness, with Magnanimity, and the Troop of Virtues they are adorned with, have the happiness to see themselves beloved, respected, and adored by their People. And 'tis this, Sir, that gets you the Love, the Respect, and Adoration of your Subjects; when ever they speak of your Royal Highness, 'tis with sentiments of Veneration, and with transports of Zeal for your Service and Honour, which plainly show, how agreeable your Empire is to them, and with what sincerity they bless Heaven for the sweetness of your Reign over them. Your Birth has made you their Prince, but if your Royal Blood had not set the Crown on your Head, had it been in their power, you would have received it from their free E●ection.  
We being their near neighbours, have often Commerce with them, and in their conversation, whereof their Sovereign makes the most charming and agreeable part of it, we see them very often open their hearts to us, and speak their thoughts with freedom, in which pleasant conversation, Sir, they have so well expressed that zealous respect, which they preserved for your Royal Highness, that they have communicated it to me. I could not choose but have as great a passion as the best of them for a Prince so truly amiable, and one beloved by all the world with so much justice, and were I not a Subject of the greatest King in the world, I should wish your Royal Highness for my Sovereign.  
But, Sir, I should abuse myself, should I make that wish; is it not a happiness I already enjoy? and am not I your Subject▪ and are not you my Sovereign, although neither Piedmont, Savoy, nor any other of your Dominions be my Country. You enjoy a Sovereignty, that extends itself farther than the bounds of your Provinces, which procures you Subjects in all the reasonable parts of the world, and makes your Dominions as large as that of the Muses. This Empire, Sir, those nine immortal Ladies have established you in all places where they have any interest, to testify their acknowledgement of those many Favours your Royal Highness hath made them receive. The good entertainment you oblige them with, is an infallible sign, that you are not ignorant of their Beauties, and that you have a perfect knowledge of their Merits.  
We ought not to wonder when we see them but little esteemed in a great part of the world; none can esteem them but those that know them, and that is an advantage that Heaven doth not commonly bestow; your Royal Highness is master of this precious advantage, and I am very certain that you possess it in a very eminent degree; that quick, subtle, and delicate Wit of yours, is skilled even to admiration, in all the polite, and pretty things in the world, and pierces into all the secrets of our Parnassus.  
This is that Divine Quality, Sir, that gives a Lustre to all your Heroic ones, and crowns you King of all the Wits of the age: Your Valour, Justice, and Generosity are great Virtues I must confess; That sweetness and obliging entertainment, with that agreeable Air which accompanies all your Actions, and Charms all those that have the Honour to approach your Royal Person; that Gallantry which is so natural to you, which gets you the inclinations of the Ladies, and renders your Court, and all your divertisements so Noble and Magnificent, are glorious advantages, I must avow it. But all these considerable virtues and glorious advantages, would, it is possible, be confined to your own Dominions, and Strangers, and Posterity would never so much as hear of them, were they not attended by that our Love of the Muses. Had it not been for this Honourable inclination, Augustus never had received so many Eulogies as he did, and his Glory, it may be, had never reached our Ears. It is this that makes your Virtues commended and talked of beyond the limits of your Provinces, and shall do too, far beyond that short course of your life, that you spend so gloriously, and that merited Eternity; it is this that invests you with a Sovereignty over all the Vertuosis in the world, and to which I am obliged for the happiness I enjoy, to style myself your Subject. It is possible it is an excess of vanity in me to reckon myself among the Wits; but when one has once obtained the happiness to please your Royal Highness, he may without arrogance assume that glorious Title with all its appendages, and in that condition to which your Royal Highness has been pleased to advance me; I should offend your judgement, should I have a bad opinion of any thing that I call mine. I have so highly esteemed my parts, since I was informed your Royal Highness did not despise them, I judged them capable of conferring something, to your Royal pleasure.  
Since my first works have taken the boldness to pass over the Alps without my Commission, and yet had the happiness to please all your Court, though I durst not hope it; I imagined, that those I should myself send over thither, and which had no other design but that of your Royal Highness' Divertisement, would not be so unhappy, as to come off worse than the former.  
It is a great design without question, that I engage upon, and I should say even a rash and inconsiderate one, if a person had not advised me to it, that I am confident is too prudent to counsel me to any such undertake: it is, Sir, a Gentleman of your Dominions that hath the honour both to be known and beloved of his Prince, that hath been pleased to give himself the trouble to bring my Muse into your Court, and that hath wrote me word of the good entertainment it received from your Royal Highness. This generous friend of mine could not possibly procure me a more glorious, advantage nor one that I more vehemently desired; but that which hath exceeded all my hopes, and created in me the most pleasant surprise imaginable, is that incomparable goodness that he was pleased to have for me in communicating a Letter of your Royal Highness to me, in which you graciously vouchsafed to witness, that you esteemed my works, and that you should be very well satisfied to see me make some more of them for your divertisement. This Letter was a Sovereign and indisputable Order for me, but it was no unpleasant one, and I can safely swear, I received it with as great a joy as submission.  
It is this, Sir, that obliged me to the writing of this piece of Gallantry, the gaiety whereof it is not impossible may not displease you. It may be too, it may dissipate for some moments those troublesome thoughts, that your Politic affairs commonly leave behind them, and some of those cares which the conduct of great Estates almost always plague us with.  
If I can compass so noble a design as this, I shall get myself reputation, and shall persuade myself, that your Subjects are something engaged to me into the bargain. It is not to be questioned but they know, that when one diverted Cesar, he obliged the Republic, and I am very certain, that Cesar had not more noble qualities than your Royal Highness; and that the Romans had not a more tender affection, or profound respect for him, than those of Piedmont and Savoy have for their Sovereign.  
These are truths, Sir, that your Royal Highness may easily be satisfied of, from a foreign Country. If they were told you by your Subjects, you might suspect, they said so for their own interest, or to flatter you, and so receive their praises as a common homage, which people seldom refuse their Sovereigns; but when an Elegy proceeds to you from a Province not subject to your Royal Highness, you may assure yourself, Sir, that he who gave you these commendations, was confident of the truth of them. It is from strangers that a Prince may learn infallibly, what Sentiments the world has of him, and what their judgement is of his Qualities and his Conduct.  
And since it is so, Sir, your Royal Highness ought to be entirely satisfied; those strangers which are not interessed in your Highness, praise and bless you; and I, Sir, that have made some voyages into foreign Countries, can witness the truth of it: Wherever they speak of your Royal Highness, they compare you to those great Princes from whence you drew your being. As all the world is very well satisfied that no danger can surprise you, and that your courage either acknowledges no dangers, or makes them immediately cease to be so, they compare you to the Illustrious Amedees', which all the dreadful power of the Turks could never terrify, and that preserved Rhodes with so much glory against all the force of the Ottoman Emperor. They count you too, as good as that Lovis, that was so much beloved of his Subjects, for his sweetness and clemency, as wise as that Charles, surnamed the Warrior, that was as well the most prudent as accomplished Prince of his Age; as knowing, as that other Charles▪ surnamed the Good, who so dearly loved Scholars, and Learning; and as quick and active as the great Emanuel Philibert, that showed so incomparable an address in all his bodily exercises.  
I have often heard your Royal Highness compared too, to all your famous Ancestors, but most commonly they do it with your Illustrious Grandfather, to that great Prince whose name you own, and whose Virtues you are master of. In the time he lived in, he was esteemed a Man that had the most glorious reputation in the world. Vrban the VIII, our Henry the Great, and James the VIII. King of Great Britain, gave him commendations, that posterity should never be unmindful of; and the great Cardinal of Richielieu, which knew as well as any man, all these Virtues that are necessary for a Prince; said of him, of whom I am a speaking, that he never knew a more strong, active, and universal Wit in his life; the most eloquent Muses of his time have sung of his Merit. That Tasso that he loved with so much tenderness, the Ciabrera, the Marines, and Cassines, thought they should render themselves immortal, by inserting such a Prince's Commendations in their Works, whose name and memory ought to be immortal. If all those great Men were still alive, I am confident, they would conspire to tell you, that the Charles Emanuel of our age, is a Son worthy that Charles Emanuel, that was so justly praised by all those great Princes, and so bravely sung of by all those illustrious Poets. Why have not I the Wit and Eloquence of the last, which I would wholly employ with all my soul to make an Elegy for your Royal Highness. I'd tell the future ages of those Virtues, whereof ours is so strongly persuaded; your great Spirit, I mean your Gcnerosity, your Bounty, your Wisdom, and all your other Qualities; at least as far as my Wit would permit me, that you have received them with the blood of that incomparable Conqueror Amedees', your August Father.  
Since these great qualities, which before were only seen afar off, were in your voyage to Lions more nearly considered by all our Court; our great Monarch has conceived Sentiments of Love and Esteem for your Royal Highness, and those too are spread through his whose Kingdom. And would not the French be injust, should they not dote upon such a Prince, which always expresses so great a love for France; a Prince, that no sooner saw, that his troublesome destiny had broke those ties that engaged him to our Crown, but he sought out for new ones with all the vehemence in the world: how infinitely reasonable was this vehemence, since its Object was a Princess so accomplished? a Princess whose charms deserve so much Love, Respect, and Devotion, that in the greatness of her Soul, is the accurate Portraiture of your Illustrious Mother, and that by her Virtues would revive her memory, if it was possible, that it ever could be extinguished.  
What a joy it was to your Subjects, Sir, to see your Royal Highness bound in an Eternal knot to that incomparable Princess? and what a glory it would be for me, if my Story were pleasant enough to divert two Persons of so high a Rank, and so sublime Ingenuity. I dare avow, Sir, that in spite of my accustomed insufficiency, I conceived very great hopes of it. When one has a design to please you, 'tis very difficult to think of any thing that is low and contemptible; the Soul raises itself in the undertaking so great an enterprise: and as for my particular, I believe that mine has excelled itself, ever since the very instant that I intended to make my Image of Zelotyde, because I had a design to send it to your Royal Highness, to present you with all the Lineaments of her Jealousy, and gave all your Court a sufficient occasion to laugh at her suspicious, and ridiculous apprehensions.  
Hitherto, Sir, the Comedians have handled the jealous Gentlemen, with all the cruelty imaginable, and have commonly spared the jealous Ladies. But for all that, there are some of the delicate Sex as subject to this passion, as the most whining Romantic Lover among Men, and it will be convenient to acquaint them in this History, how prejudicious this pretty Frenzy is to their repose, how extravagant it renders them, and how they deserve to be hated by all their Gallants, for this rascally method of making Love.  
May it please therefore your Royal Highness, to cast an Eye on my pretty jealous Creature's extravagant adventures, which your goodness makes me assume the liberty to make the recital of, and which I shall do with all the Gaiety that my Subject requires, and with all the Respect I owe your Royal Highness.  
Zelotide.   

A general Peace was now concluded, to the extreme displeasure of the Gascons, and this affliction had very much augmented that other, that the prohibition of Duels had caused them a little before: all their Villages were full of Reformed Officers, and the most noble and brave among them, had no other employment then plaguing all they met with, with an impertinent recital of their Braveries, at God knows what River, and God knows what time. When the King issued out his Orders for the placing a Regiment of old Soldiers in one of the most pleasing Towns of France; my intelligence could not inform me, whither this agreeable place we speak of, were on this side, or beyond the Loire, but I dare assure you, it lies between Calais and Bayonne.  
The greatest part of the Officers of this Regiment were not very well skilled in any other Virtues, than their Military ones, and Wine and Tobacco, the Pot and Pipe was their chief employment: but all of them were not so scandalously inclined: some few of them were more Gentile and Courtly, and preferred a handsome obliging Lady, before all the Pots in Christendom.  
Our Lycidas was one of these civil Gentlemen, and without all question, Sir, he might pass for one of the prettiest fellows in the Regiment; he was young and witty, and as well made as the best of them; and to advance all these accomplishments, his clothes were as fine, and Al-a-mode, as they could possibly be out of Paris; his variety of Garnitures, and his good large plume of Feathers, that quite covered his little empty Noddle, made him presently be taken notice of; all the Ladies mightily admired him, and doing as they use to do in the like occasions were infinitely taken with him, and there was not one Lady in all the Town, that was not hatching some amorous design, how to imprison this our handsome stranger.  
As he was always a professed Servant of the Ladies, and he longed to see all the Beauties of the place, in as short a time as he could; he, to forward his design, got acquaintance with a Cavalier of the Town, that had formerly been a Soldier too, and now at present.  
This talkative illnatured Cavalier, I forgot to tell you what he was before, would not for all the world but have brought Lycidas to Mass, that is the amorous rendezvous of the Town; and 'tis very likely had not Lycidas been acquainted, that he should find good store of Beauties there, he would have been more gentile, and less scandalous than to go to that place of Devotion. Here it was a Man might see at once all that thought themselves handsome; and it was here that our Courtly Soldier learned all the names of the Ladies, for he was better bred then to cast an Eye, or speak a Syllable of any thing else, while there was something like a Woman in the company. This is very fair you will say, for the first bout; but our Gallant goes further, and learns what Love intrigue this and that Lady has with that and the other Gentleman, and in as short a time as can be imagined, his precious intelligence made him a perfect relation of their Loves, with all the drolling and raillery his ill nature could supply him with: so that Lycidas, thanks to his talkative Buffoon was immediately acquainted with all the Bed-stratagems of the Town. After so hopeful a beginning, you may swear he would not leave off, he went continually to Mass, and that out of pure Love too, I dare assure you, he came always dressed as fine as hands could make him; all covered over with Ribbons and Feathers, and placed himself in a fit Post to have his finery taken notice of, and there, sometime standing on one Leg, and then on the other, he played the prettiest tricks, and set his Face in so agreeable a posture, you would not think it; and lest all this pains might be lost, he took a particular care he might be taken notice of.  
His Eyes stood always Sentinel to spy  
The amorous looks of all the Ladies nigh.  
Now on this he darts a glance,  
And then on that he looks, as 'twere by chance,  
Still taking special care,  
To put the blushing Lady out o'th' Prayer;  
And if in his survey  
Some pretty Creature chanced to cast array,  
He with a gracious Air returned the glance,  
He smiled, and then stepped back, and then advanced.  
And to confirm their good intelligence  
He straight retired;  
Not to desert the Beauty he admired  
But thank her with an humble reverence.  
In a word, Sir, he was the most civil obliging person that breathed, Nay, faith, Sir, there are some will tell you, that his very civility grew trouble some and impertinent, he had so much of it; but for all this, take him all together, he was a very extraordinary person, at least people thought him so, for he grew to be the only talk in all company; the Ladies remembered all his shape, his clothes, and above all, his Carriage; and the pleasant Gentleman did not forget that neither, especially his profound cringes, and his reverences Al-a-mode: the young ones grew so taken with him, that they must needs try to count them, and because 'tis likely that one could never do it, there were many of them about it; two or three were to reckon up all he made with his right Leg, and as many more to count those of his left.  
But for all these puny fools plagued him with their damned dull raillery, the most accomplished Ladies of the Town would not miss the Mass for a Treat and the ●iddles; the Church was never empty, and all this, because, our obliging Soldier was a constant Churchman. When they were come home again from their Devotions, all the Females fell a thinking that she was more looked upon then another, and that the brisk Gallant had made her three or four salutes more than the rest; whence gathering (as those pretty Sophisters easily deceive themselves) that she was preferred before the rest, she grew confident, that she should effect the conquest of the Gallant, that all the Ladies desired. Among the rest, that never failed to come to Mass, Zelotyde was one of the first, and most eager: She was a stately proper person, young, and something yellow-haired, and her Air and Mein had something in them extremely taking.  

When in the Church she did appear;  
How her fair Eyes of Eyes attractive were,  
And like the Sun no Star was seen but her?  
From her sweet violence  
Altars proved no defence,  
Her sacrilegious charms pulled captives thence.   
In a word, where ever she was, none could be seen or looked upon, but her; and all this, she termed the effects of her Beauty, and persuaded herself, that she really merited a greater esteem than the rest. She, as well as the rest had some ill design on our new Cavalier (but, I'faith, I think I'm out there, and a Captain of the Infantry cannot be well called so) and having resolved upon it, she dressed herself with more care then ordinary, and forgot not any of those helps, that Art could furnish her with, to set off those advantages that nature had made her receive.  
The Lady being such as I have described her, your Royal Highness may easily imagine, that she had enough of Lycidas' humble reverences; wherever she met him, and that at Church, he particularly obliged her by his amorous glances; and I vow, 'tis well he did so, for the poor Creature, had he not given her that esteem she thought she deserved, would not have easily been comforted for her misfortunes; she had indeed as quick a wit, as any Lady in the Town, but she had a very strange kind of humour though. Her jealousy was so excessive, that she grew jealous of all the world, nay, of those persons she never knew, nor heard of, neither Friends nor Enemies could scape her; I have heard a hundred pretty stories of her Jealousy, of one of her acquaintance, and they're all extremely pleasant and extraordinary. She was so damned jealous.  

If some kind doting Husband chanced to kiss,  
What now he call, d his Wife, before his Miss;  
And Zelotide but chanced to spy,  
The mutual charming Language of their Eye;  
She dams, she curses their chaste Fire,  
And longs to see their purer Flames expire.  
Who ever does caress, what e'er it is,  
Be't Wife or Miss,  
She frets, she pines, she sighs,  
To see the conquest of another's Eyes,  
That any Face but hers, could make such victories.  
If the fond Lackey chanced to kiss the Maid,  
Or by some pretty sign his Love betrayed,  
She the poor Innocent  
Did miserably torment,  
And Rival-like, still thwarted her intent,   
But yet, Sir, she did not do all this out of any aversion she had to love, but the covetous Creature would have had all the world dote upon her; she would be the only Beauty, and the only Mistress of all that could conceive that noble passion. She went indeed sometimes to see a Play and sometimes she would read Romances; but all this only augmented her calamity, and these pretty divertisements were the greatest plagues in nature to her. At a Play she would fain get Celadon from Florimell, or Dauphire from the Collegiate Ladies, and could not endure to hear Romeo compliment his Juliet. And then in Romances she was confounded, mad to see Pyrocles so passionate for his Pamela; she could with all her soul have strangled the fair Cassandra, to get her Oroondates: All the actions of those fabulous Heroes, that they performed with so much Courage and Generosity to express their Love, and do things worthy of it, were so many fatal blows that stabbed her contentment; and in that transport of fury, that their amorous declarations had put her; she threw away the Romance, nay, and sometimes threw it into the fire too, to revenge herself for that injury, that she fancied had been put upon her: but yet she had some wit with her madness, at least, so much as to conceal her extravagance from the eyes of the world, so that you could not possibly discover it in her, without a long and a familiar acquaintance.  
Having now learned her Character, your Royal Highness may easily imagine, what an intolerable trouble she was condemned to every day at Mass, where Lycidas never failed to meet her. For though she had the greatest share of his amorous Glances, his Reverences, and all those petty pieces of Gallantry, she grew stark mad, and all this would not content her.  

If the fair stranger chanced to cast an Eye  
On any pretty Creature nigh;  
She raged, she stormed, and swore they both must die.  
Thus every thing she saw conferred,  
To heighten the misfortunes, she endured,  
If the next Lady did without design  
Receive a glance or two,  
As any pretty thing from Lycidas might do,  
She stormed, and would his Eyes to her confine.  
His glances, his salutes are all her own,  
And she robs her, that does receive even one.   
Nevertheless her jealous Ladyship was fain to conceal her resentments for ten or twelve days, for Lycidas was so long without visiting the Ladies at their several Houses, and our Gallant did not this without all the reason in the world, for he knew very well (though my intelligence did not inform me, how he came to know it) how much a man exposes himself in company, when he is ignorant of their Intrigues, which make the greatest part of the discourse, and for this reason he resolved to be fully acquainted with the story of the Town, before he engaged in company. And truly, that Gentleman Historian, that illnatured Satirist, I mean, that I told you of before, was as good a Master to instruct him, as he could wish, and one that proved very necessary to him in that conjuncture, and upon this consideration (for faith I know nothing else could induce him to it) he was scarce ever out of his company.  
In a fair day they both went a walking together, to enjoy the sweetness of the Air, and see how the Spring had with her natural Artifice, (that you will say now is a strange one I hope) painted all the Trees and Meadows with her invisible Pencil, beyond the happy curiosity of all the Italian Angelos; they went, if I am not mistaken, to a certain Garden not far out of Town, and when they came to the Gate of it, they saw two Coaches there, which made them suspect there was company in the Garden whereupon they enquired of the Coachman, who told them that a kinsman of our Cavaliers, had Coached some seven or eight Ladies thither: Now who would not pity this poor Gentleman among such a company of Women, were he nine times a Man, that's about fourscore times more than a Tailor, he could never be enough for them: Why, a hundred Mouths would be little enough to answer them and kiss them, and a thousand hands would not suffice to clip them, hug them, and hand them; but I leave the Gentleman to the mercy of the Ladies, and must see what the other are a doing. They had no sooner learned of the Coachman, what I told you of, but they both agreed very prudently to go seek out some other solitary place, that would be more fit and proper for their purpose, and without more ado, were marching back again, when the Master of the Feast chanced to spy them, and running to them to stop them, he made use of that civil piece of violence, we commonly do in such cases, to engage them to come into this company. The Females that thought one man to seven of them, was most intolerable, were not very much displeased at the arrival of these two Gentlemen; Zelotide, that was one of the company, and knew the Cavalier, went to meet him, pretending some business she had to tell him of, but it was for nothing else but to lay hold of Lycidas first of all; her project took, the stranger fell to her share, and he, being a very pretty fellow, and one that spoke the finest things in the world, and having a very happy faculty to love when he would, or, what was all one, to make people believe so.  

He then resolved his parts should not be hid,  
And if he did not love, you'd swear he did.   
And really, Sir, this first interview, while the treatment was providing, Zelotide had reason to be satisfied with him. They walked a great many turns of the Ally together, and Lycidas being no scrupulous person in making his Love-Declaration.  

Swore presently ten thousand Oaths  
Besides his pretty Faiths and Troths,  
That from the moment he first saw,  
Her charms, her charms, kept all his soul in awe,  
And gently forced him to accept their Law.  
That though she scorned his passion  
And did his torments with contempt look on.  
Yet she, yet only she,  
Should be the Empress of his liberty.   
He had not quite finished his protestations, when Dinner was served up, and they were called to sit down. It was then, if ever, that Lycidas made a good use of his wit, and spoke a thousand the pleasantest things that ever were heard, so that the company was extremely pleased with him; and Zelotide conceived all the joy imaginable, to see a person that she had some good will for, appear so amiable to all the world besides. But then her damned humour made her reflect, and think with herself, that if this stranger took her so infinitely, her companions too might be more taken with him, than she desired.  

And though she loved those charms she did descry,  
Both in his Lips and Eye  
And all his beauteous harmony,  
She wished those charms away  
That might some other Lady make their prey.  
Lest he should love elsewhere, or else be loved,  
What cruel miseries her poor heart proved.   
Her trouble was still augmented, and his actions, as she imagined, justified her suspicions; for the Gentleman did not, as she expected, only choose out the choice bits to present her with them, but took as much care too to pleasure the rest, and did it with a pretty grace, that charmed the company, and made poor Zelotide run desperate; and this was the reason why they sat not long at Table, for our jealous Lady being one of the most considerable among them, rose up first, and obliged all the rest to follow her. They walked for some small time in the Garden, and then all the company retired. Lycidas manned Zelotide home, and by the way, begged of her most vehemently, the permission to wait upon her Ladyship sometimes, which she most courteously obliged him with.  
They both parted very well satisfied with one another, and thought every hour an age till they met again. Zelotide was over joyed at her Conquest, and persuaded herself, that now she had triumphed over the rest of the Ladies; and Lycidas was no less pleased to have begun his Female-acquaintance, with the most handsome and considerable Lady of the Town, and being yet ignorant of Zelotides ill humour, and believing she was no cruel Lady, he assured himself, that her Husband being now at Paris upon some important business, his Love would find no opposition.  

He thought he now might own his Love,  
And that the charming Dame  
Could not so cruel or inhuman prove  
As to condemn his Flame.  
Her Virtue and her Honour were  
The only enemies his Love could fear,  
For her sweet Air, proclaimed her not severe.  
He thought those foolish Opposites, his Love  
Might well without a Miracle remove,   
In a word, Sir, he promised himself all the pleasure imaginable from his new Gallantry, and never dreamt of those troubles it would engage him in; on the morrow he put on the most proper and becoming clothes he had, and expected with impatience, the hour when he might see the Ladies; Well, at last it came, though to his thinking, most cursed slowly; and the Gallant goes to my Lady Zelotides, where he found her, in his judgement, a thousand times more handsome than ever she was before, either at Church or the Garden; and she truly had done all she could to set herself off.  
There were two Cousins of hers with her at that time, of which the name of the one was Melite, and the other Cleonia: both of them young, both handsome, and both of the most pleasant and gay humour, that ever you met with. These three amiable persons were very familiar, and scarce ever out of one another's company. Lycidas that had naturally a very brisk wit, and made the best use of it he could in all Lady's company he came into, and a pretty kind of insinuation, was immediately received into this handsome Troop, and judged a very fit person for their amorous commerce, and one that they might talk too without ceremony; so that Zelotide would not any longer conceal herself, but spoke to him in the name of the whole company, either this, or much like it.  
IF we may credit all your protestations, Sir, we may well persuade ourselves, that our company is not disagreeable to you, and that whilst you stay in Town, we shall something oblige you in admitting of those visits you make us. It is our pleasure therefore to oblige you thus, and we receive you into our society, if you think yourself capable to perform some certain conditions, without which, you shall never come among us. It is not improbable, Sir, that in that little time you have seen us, you have made a very advantageous judgement of the merits of my Cousins, and I dare assume the vanity to tell you, that no Ladies in Town ought to be preferred to us, so that the Law we prescribe you, cannot justly seem too rigid and intolerable; to see no Lady, and admire or love any thing out of Breeches, but us; you have got a very inconstant mind with you, and I shrewdly suspect you for a fickle person, and one fit to abuse all the Women you meet with: your amorous lies and pretty perjuries, I'faith Sir, I must tell you our resolution; either renounce this humour, or our society, for they are incompatible; there are indeed in Town, some things in Petticoats that will admit of your Courtly wenching actions, but faith Sir, we shall not; we are too conscious of our own worth and excellence, to come in sharers with persons so much below us, and we must have you wholly ours, or not at all. Go, Sir, examine yourself, and see whither you can endure to keep us company upon these conditions; and I dare assure you, that if you can, you will not repent of it.  
Lycidas did not forget one word of this Harangue, and though it had been longer, his attention would not have been the less. So strange a surprise, as this discourse must needs put him into, made him stand mute and immovable, and he was astonished to hear them make him such a Declaration at the first visit. But however, when he saw Zelotide had ended her harangue, I made her an answer agreeable to her wishes; and though he had never been reduced to such hard terms before, as to see but three Ladies in a whole Town, he swore the Conditions were too reasonable and obliging to be refused; and though they had not engaged him to them, he should have followed them out of his own inclination: And to confirm all this, he vowed and protested, that they, though but three of them, were worth all he had ever seen before, and that any one of them were enough to make a most constant▪ Lover of the most fickle Man in Nature.  
Zelotide was very well satisfied with his protestations, and infinitely pleased for some few days, to see him most regularly observe his promises. And Lycidas had really not yet seen any Lady, but these three fair ones. But Zelotyde for all this Excess of fidelity in him, was not yet contented, for seeing he visited her Cousins almost as often as her, she was extremely vexed that she had not been more precise in her Declaration, and she became as jealous of her Cousins, as the rest of the Ladies; but she could not now civilly forbid him her Cousin's Lodgings; for being bound to them in a very strict kind of friendship, she very often went to see them, and was glad to see her Lycidas there. Besides too, had he only visited her, i● would be taken notice of▪ and her reputation might perhaps be blemished by it; she concluded therefore, that it was an inconvenience she could not possibly avoid; and that she was engaged upon all considerations, to let the stranger visit Milite and Cleonia; but observing that the former of them had some affection for him, and was very well disposed to rob her of her Gallant, and so deprive her of the Honour of her Conquest.  

She feared her Eyes, as conquering as they were,  
Might to her terror seem less fair,  
When her hard rigours taught him to despair.  
Lycidas was for favours still,  
Obliging Favours still enslaved his Will.  
Goodness to Merits still he would prefer,  
And the kind Lady was his Conqueror.   
Being hurried on by this fear of hers, which was but too well grounded, she resolved to prevent her Cousin's Favours, and make sure of her Lover, that seemed yet in suspense what to fix upon; so that having very happily found an opportunity to speak to him in private, she discovered her thoughts to him, with all the freedom that she could; Lycidas promised her most faithfully his eternal Fidelity, and for some time afterwards, they lived in a very good Intelligence one of another; he often visited the two Cousins, but with such caution, that the jealous was out of the world to see it. All was very well for some days among them, but Lycidas must have his swing again, and you might confine Fire with less difficulty, than his wand'ring Inconstancy; he had not so narrow a Soul as to bond his happiness, and he is just of such a humour as I shall tell you now.  

Not all the Beauties in the world could tie  
His Soul to make it keep a twelve hours' constancy  
Free as the Mountain-winds he roves,  
Both when he's loved, and when he loves.  
Though Ladies cruel are  
He still loves one without despair,  
Nay sometimes he  
Quits Favours for their petty cruelty,  
And rather had be scorned, then lose his Liberty.   
Though Zelotide was indoubtedly the hand somest Lady of the three, and perhaps of all the Town too; Melite begun to please him better than she did; her Soul was more mild and obliging, and he imagined he should endure a more easy slavery under her, than the former, so that he resolved to turn unfaithful to Zelotide; and seeing that it was very difficult for him to be so, both because the two Ladies were almost always together, and because Zelotide was very happy at discoveries, he resolved to make use of Artifice, and cheat her for all her jealousy to her face; that is, to be her servant in appearance, but to devote himself really to the young and pretty Melite. He found his loving fair one of such a disposition, as very much advanced the plot▪ and this good Good Cousin of Zelotide made no conscience to cheat her. In such concerns of Gallantry as these are, I can assure your Royal Highness, that there are not many Women in France that stickle for their faithfulness.  

She that would count it a damned Sin,  
To steal a Ribbon, nay a Pin  
From a mere stranger, would not make  
A scruple to partake  
Of her fair Sister's dearest victories,  
And make her Sisters share her prize.   
And truly Melite was no more scrupulous than another, and she was overjoyed that she could rob her Cousin so neatly, she never refused Lycidas, and after by a thousand amorous Oaths, that the Courtly Gallant was never sparing of, he had persuaded her, that she was the only person in the world that he most dearly affected, she very frankly confessed to him, that she had something of Love for him too.  

And by a certain pretty method did  
Discover, though she seemed to wish it hid,  
Her unfeigned Love with such a sweet address,  
And such a sprightly wit  
That none could doubt of it.  
You'd swear 'twas true, nor than she made it less.   
Now they are both in a perfect union, and both agreed to manage the business with all the Art they can; but to what purpose pray? as if any thing could be hid from the eyes of Jealousy. Though Lycidas visited Zelotyde daily, and personated the Lover as well as could be; for all his Artifice, she smelled out his Infidelity, both by the coolness of his Addresses, and that want of care he took to please her: whereupon, she searched out the cause of it, and was not long before she lighted on it; she turned spy over all their actions.  

She read it in their Words and Eyes  
And still confirmed her Jealousies  
By something in itself indifferent,  
Which she still wrested to a bad intent,  
She made it amorous what ere 'twas meant.  
Her eye still tracked 'em out  
(Too faithful Scout)  
And in two days so much of 'em did see,  
She grew more certain than she wished to be.   
Immediately hereupon, she resolves to break with her Cousin, what ever stir might come of it; but upon better consideration, she judged it better to dissemble her resentments, and endeavour to retrieve her Lycidas, by telling him of his Ingratitude, and the injustice of his change.  
One evening, when she was walking alone with him in a Garden▪ where all the beauties spend some part of the night in the Spring time, she thought she had now a good opportunity to tell him of his falsehood; Lycidas, who thought he could always abuse her into any opinion he would, began to cajol her as he use to do, and to assure her of his Love and Passion, a hundred manner of ways: but Zelotyde answered all his protestations with raillery, why all this to me, Sir, said she, you mistake yourself sure, and think you are with Melite; have you forgot who I am, and dare you be thus prodigal of your kindnesses in the absence of your Mistress; I vow, Sir, should she come to know of this, I am confident she'd severely punish you. You surprise me Madam, answered Lycidas, and I can't tell what to make of this, what the Devil do you mean it for, serious, or raillery? You cannot without injustice suspect me of any Intelligence with Melite. 'Tis true, she is very amiable, but it is also infallibly true, that since I had the happiness to love you, I never so much as thought to be unfaithful: I have seen your Kinswoman, I avow it, and have made her some visits, but you may bepleased to remember, that I did all this by your order; and I dare safely swear upon a Book, that were it not for the pleasure I took in obeying your Commands, I should never have endured to keep one company, that I so little care for, and which, it is very probable, cares as little for me.  

If you had heard him swear,  
You'd swear he faithful were,  
For still he talked of Love and Faithfulness,  
He talked of nothing more, and thought of nothing less.  
And did all this with such a sweet address,  
That none e'er yet used more sincerity,  
To clear a Truth, than he to prove a Lie.   
But for all this, all his Rhetoric could not persuade Zelotide, for when he still persisted to excuse himself, because she had commanded him to visit her Kinswomen, she interrupted him with a great transport of fury; what ingrateful Man, did I Command you to betray me, and turn unfaithful? and did you in pursuance of my command hecome a Servant, to that young brisk Jade, and leave me for a person in all respects inferior to me? and do you take me for so easy a fool as to believe all this? no, base Man, I do not, I shall never believe it; what did you two when you were alone together, if you must needs show your Love before me: That affected coldness which you seem to have for one another, and then some cunning kind of looks that scape you in spite of all your affectation; your words of two meanings, that are only understood by you and your Chronie, and then that care you always take to have your Garnitures of the same colour, to have all the new Plays and Romances continually from Paris to pleasure your Lady, your hugging the hornifyed Gentleman, and your insinuating yourselves into his Love and Favour; your leaving Money after Play, upon the Board, to get the Servants your Creatures, your bringing always Sugar-plums in your pocket for the Parakeet, and above all, your petty quarrels when people are by, and secret signs with your Feet, when you think no body takes notice of them; These Mr. Infidel, and a hundred things more, which I am ashamed to speak of, will not permit me to doubt of your perfidiousness. Go, for an ungrateful Man, as you are, that do not deserve to be spoke to, though in reproaches and raillery, nor be honoured with a reproof, I should, continued she, have revenged myself on my unfaithful Cousin; Did I not persuade myself, that you would save me trouble of doing it, and she would no longer keep you faithful than I have done; I too well am acquainted with your inconstancy, and it was my unhappiness I knew it not sooner, and was kept too long in ignorance, that Favours and Obligations displease you, and that they are the ready means to destroy your affections.  
Then was a great deal of rage in all this Harangue of Zelotides, but her last words had something more of sweetness than fury, so that they might well have touched with pity, a harder heart than Lycidas', and he was truly very sensible of her reproaches.  

He grew at her complaint compassionate,  
And his inconstancy begun to hate.  
But his good soul, to give the Devil his due,  
With such compassion had not long to do.   
Yet he still did all he could to prove, that her suspicions were injust and groundless, and that she ought not to rest satify'd with appearances. But seeing hit obstinate denials the more enraged her, he at last, avowed his infidelity, and begged his pardon in the most moving words imaginable; he forgot not Oaths, to assure her, that he would never again visit Melite, and promised her most faithfully, to live exactly according to her prescriptions; Though Zelotide had no reason to believe his oaths any longer, she desired the truth of them so much, that she must abuse herself into an opinion of his fidelity once again.  

His wit could now supply no just excuse  
To justify his damned abuse.  
But they that do the guilty person love,  
The worst excuse do willingly approve.   
And so she pardoned them, Sir, and they went out of the Garden in very good terms again. But the unfortunate Zelotide, that thought she had wrought miracles by her discourse, and obliged Lycidas to a perpetual fidelity, had unwittingly given subject for an Intrigue, that since has plagued her sufficiently.  
The Cavalier, Lycidas' friend, and first acquaintance, was one that had no great business to employ himself in, and therefore he made it his business to seek it out; he was continually running from place to place, and where ever he came, setting all he met with together by the ears; He was in a word, one of those Creatures we call Fops, Busybodies, contriving-Asses, etc. Fools that neither love themselves nor any body else; Confounded Coxcombs that would willingly undo themselves, might they bury another in their ruins.  
This virtuous Gentleman was very often with a company of Ladies, that could not endure our Zelotide, of which, the most considerable, was Cephisa, some important. Case at Law, or some contest at a meeting about their preeminence (for truly I was not certainly informed of it) had raised an enmity between their Families, whence this mortal hatred was transmitted to our two fair ones. The quarrel had been decided for some months before by their Friends, and Kindred, and something like a reconciliation was made between them; but for all their peaceable friends could do in it, something of the old grudge remained yet, which all the Town was very sensible of▪ Our Cavalier therefore, that was mighty great with this Troop of Ladies was by chance in the Garden, when Lycidas led in Zelotide, and seeing them alone by themselves, was infinitely overjoyed at so happy an occasion, to search out what intelligence was betwixt them, which he shrewdly suspected: To which purpose he hid himself among the Trees of a blind Ally, not far from that in which our Gallant entertained his Zelotide, whence without being perceived, he heard the greatest part of the Lady's complaints, and discovered, as faith he well might, that she was passionately in love with Lycidas, and that more than all this, she was devilish jealous of him. Never was any person more satisfied at the best news in the world, than he at this. He was already framing ten thousand malicious designs against the loving pair, and promised himself as much divertisement, as he could wish from so pleasant an adventure. He was not long, ere he discovered it to Cephisa, and if my intelligence deceive me not, it was on the very next morning. The unlucky Lady is as hugely pleased with it, and hoped, as well as the Cavalier, to draw no small advantage from so welcome a discovery.  
Having laughed their Bellies full, together, and consulted what they ought to do in this conjuncture; they at last concluded, that if Zelotide was so jealous of her own Cousin, she would be abominably jealous of another Lady, especially if that Lady were her enemy; and that therefore, if they could persuade Lycidas to visit their company, Zelotide would even die with despite, but before her departure, she would be guilty of some pretty extravagancies, which would give them matter enough to laugh at it.  
After these grave determinations, the Cavalier engaged to bring Lycidas to give her a visit, and she on her part very confidently promised missed him, that supposing he brought him thither, he should be made to come again.  
Thus were they plotting, Sir, against the poor Zelotide, that never dreamt of those miseries they designed her, whilst she poor Lady enjoyed all the happiness she could wish for, for Lycidas forbore to see Melite, and had performed all he was bound to, at least, in her opinion he had. But faith, Sir, to tell you the plain truth, he was half a weary of Zelotides Tyranny, and without question, he had not remained faithful so long as he did, had not Fear more than Love persuaded him to't, for now he was no longer ignorant of her Fury and Jealousy, and feared them too, no less, than he loved and admired her Beauty.  

The sweets of Love  
He still desired to prove,   
But then those sweets of Love to him would be Insipid, when for them he lost his liberty.  
He of the humour he then was, had rather enjoy the liberty to gaze on all the Ladies in the world, without any other advantage, then that of subscribing himself their servant, then to be reduced to those hard terms of seeing but one, though she loved and favoured him, as if Heaven and Earth would come together. And it was this inclination of his, that rendered Zelotide's Empire so odious to him, but he could not well disengage himself; and faith, though he was a Soldier, I dare swear he durst not: He knew Madam Zelotide and her confounded humour well enough, to know what treatment he must expect of her if he forsook her; and it was not improbable, that her kindred that were very considerable in the Town, would very much resent his ill usage of the Lady, should the secret ever be discovered, as she was like enough to do it. So that he was engaged to visit no other Lady in the Town, and almost resolved too, and that as seriously as one of his humour could, never to give her any more reason to be jealous of him, But, faith, it was no hard matter to destroy his resolutions; and truly our Cavalier, though no incomparable Orator, had not much to do to persuade him to go see the fair Cephisa,  
Lycidas knew very well the present state of the Town, and by consequence could not be ignorant of that aversion Zelotide had for her, nor what his Mis' sentiment would be of this visit; and truly this consideration made him for some few minutes, resist the temptation, when the Gentleman persuaded him, but when he was something urged to it, both because he was her neighbour, and thereupon at least engaged to visit her, and for some other petty reasons, as inconsiderable as the first, he consented to it, hoping that Zelotide might never know of it,  
Being now fully persuaded, the Cavalier leads him to see Cephisa; she was a pretty young gay Creature, so that any one of her many rare Qualities would be sufficient to have engaged a hardder heart than Lycidas'; and telling you this, I need not tell you that our Gallant grew desperately in love with her, that is, as desperately in love as he could be. He presently forgot his jealous Lady, and doing as he used to do, had not the patience to delay his amorous Declaration until the next visit.  

He had still ready made.  
His vows his oaths, and all his amorous Trade,  
(Those pretty Engines to deceive a Maid)  
Just as some quacking cheat  
Doth still the same to a syllable repeat,  
And with hard words ten thousand times said o'er,  
Still cheats the Rabble as he did before.  
His Declaration was still the same  
To all he ever came  
From the brisk Courtier to the City Dame  
And altering but a word or two  
It still will do  
Nor need he a new Speech indite.  
Still, still the same to th' black, to th' brown and white.   
Cephisa now had got him at the point she wished, and therefore to keep him there, she received his addresses most obligingly, and answered his Declaration, with all the civility imaginable; so that when he left her, he was engaged as much as she could wish him, and was now fully resolved to visit her as often as possibly he could.  
As soon as he was got home, he fell a considering what a horrid trouble he should be brought into, if Zelotide, should chance to discover his new engagement; but being very willing to flatter himself, he thought, though he had but little reason to do so; that Cephisa living in a by-corner of the Town, and never speaking to Zelotide, the business might very well be concealed from his troublesome jealous Lady.  
And to effect his design, he parted his visits betwixt his two Mistresses, with all the care imaginable; and truly his diligence was very successful. For Cephisa and the illnatured Cavalier, would not have his new passion talked of, till it was out of possibility to be destroyed; and that Zelotide might be the more enraged, when she knew how long Lycidas had been unfaithful to her. Our pretty jealous Creature therefore knew nothing of his visits for a week or two, but she had observed something however, that began to disquiet her; and that she might look to't in time, she resolved to speak to Lycidas of it, when next she saw him.  
On that very day that she had taken this resolution, he failed not to wait upon her, and their discourse very happily chancing to be about fidelity, he commended his, own to her with all the vehemence imaginable, and swore that strict obedience he had rendered her, since she was pleased to forbid him the company of Melite, was so uncommon, and admirable, that she was very much obliged to him for it: Yes, Sir, answered she, I must confess I cannot blame you for visiting my Cousin, but for Heaven's sake take heed you give me not a more just occasion to complain of you upon some other account. I have perceived something▪ that makes me very much suspect your unfaithfulness; for God's sake do not justify my suspicions and let it not be true, that Lycidas affects Cephisa You know I hate her most mortally, and that I had rather you should wait on all the Ladies in the Town, than that enemy of our Family. And know, Sir, it is not without reason I tell you of her.  
On Sunday you saluted her at Church with greater respect than I could have wished, and she returned your reverence with an obliging Air, and a look so passionate, that it plainly witnessed some intelligence betwixt you.  
On Monday I saw your Man and her Maid together, in so familiar a conference, that I fear the Master and Mistress were concerned in it.  
On Tuesday I was informed, though not from you, Sir, you changed your Lodging near Cephisa's, and that your Landlady had sometimes served her, and was still very often with her. This Neighbourhood, this Landlady, and this Familiarity between them, you must needs grant is suspicious.  
On Wednesday you pardoned a Soldier that fled his Colours, at the Request of the Husband of my Enemy, though you had refused before to pardon him, when all the Town entreated you.  
On Thursday when her Coach was over-turned, you broke through the crowd to help her, though I am confident you were not ignorant, that you would have very much obliged me, had you let her die there.  
And yesterday, I was told that you took her Tailor and Shoemaker; and faith, Sir▪ I must tell you, people think very strangely of these Tailors and Shoemakers, that work both for Men as well as Women; there are those will swear they meddle with something else besides their Trade; and making Shoes and clothes is not all they are employed in: the Tailor especially, those gentile Mechanics, that can with such a dress, join Breeches and Petticoats.  
So that there is not one day all this week, that I have not had just reason to suspect you. For to complete the week, this morning I am very credibly informed, that in company where you were, you commended Cephisa before all the Ladies in the Town. And now, sweet Sir, let me assume the confidence to demand of you, whither one can praise a Lady so extremely, without knowing her, or know her without offending me; since I hate her unmercifully, and it is the most sensible affront I can receive of any friend of mine, to visit her.  
When Zelotide had ended her Bill of Grievances, Lycidas did all he could to pacify her. He proved to her that all her suspicions were very slightly grounded, and at last made no conscience to swear to her most Religiously, that, he never went to see that Lady, nor never would while he breathed. Zelotide was willing to believe him, but all his Rhetoric could not absolutely persuade her, and undoubtedly your Royal Highness will not blame her incredulity, which was at present most reasonable. The poor jealous Lady after a troublesome night, gave order next morning to her Lackey, to go take a fit post in a blind Ally before Cephisas' Gate, to see without being discovered, whether Lycidas entered there or no.  

The little fool might then have cured  
Those tortures she endured  
And by an inn'cent lie  
Her rest, her peace procured  
And silenced her distracting jealousy.  
Thus disobedience might his faith express;  
He'd served her better had he obeyed her less.   
She was now assur'dly her too zealous Lackquey, that she was abused, and-that her Lover visited her Enemy; she longed to see him again-to punish him for his misdemeanours. But Lycidas not coming all next day to wait upon her, seeing it was fair, and fit for a walk, she resolyed towards the evening to turn scout herself, and go watch the unfaithful Lycidas; upon this design she takes only her Lackey with her, and under pretence of going to see a Woman, that nursed a Child of hers, and that lived in the Suburbs; where she knew that Cephisa and all her company commonly walked, she stood Sentinel in the House to see whether Lycidas were among them. But all her trouble, that she gave herself, was to no purpose, for Cephisa being something indisposed, went not out that evening, and Zelotide was now benighted, when she returned homewards. As she was going through the street where Cephisa lived, and was got hard by the Gate, she heard Lycidas his voice not above six yards from her; whereupon she stopped to hearken what he said, and was not long ere she heard him speak to the Cavalier, and promised him to stay for him at Cephisa's. Being now an Earwitness of his unfaithfulness, she thought on nothing, but following the dictates of her Anger and Jealousy, she Commanded her Lackey to retire, and making use of the favour of the night, she entered the Gate without discovery, and so got upon the Staircase where she resolved to expect Lycidas; Lycidas having left the Cavalier, entered very briskly, and never dreaming of the Ambuscado that was laid for him.  

Spurred on by Love, away he run,  
And up the Stairs he got as soon  
In spite of night, as if he'd seen the Sun.  
Desire, sweet sweet desire led on the way  
Who could to seek a Mistress, go astray?   
But your Royal Highness may very well imagine how surprised he was, when he felt himself stopped, and perceived he was in the Arms of a Woman; he thought at first it had been Cephisa, who came out of roguery to frighten him (for he never so much as thought of Zelotide) and hereupon cried out; Fair Cephisa, you thought to frighten me, and thought I should not know you; but your bright Eyes have betrayed you, and their light Madam, hath spoiled your plot to keep yourself undiscovered: and now faith, Madam, I must have satisfaction for this malicious design upon me, and the place is so fit and proper for my revenge, that I never deserve▪ the happineiss, if I let slip so fair an opportunity.  

Had the cross Lady but consented to't,  
He would have soon performed what e'er she pleased;  
Had but the jealous Creature let him do't,  
He had her Anger and her Rage,  
Most manfully assuaged.  
Spite of herself, he had herself appeased.   
But he was strangely astonished, when in stead of that Courtesy, he expected, the unknown Lady caressed him with all her natural weapons,; Tooth and Nail she was at it, and her Feet were not idle neither. For anger had so transported Zelotide, that at first she had lost the use of her Speech, but faith Sir, she retained the natural faculty of biting, scratching, and kicking. Lycidas was never so handsomely entertained before, and in the midst of his surprise, he could not imagine whence proceeded all this obliging Treatment; but at last he came to be informed of it, by those reproaches that Zelotide, after she had got her speech again, most bitterly porsued him with; Ingrateful Man, said she, perfidious wretch, dost thou thus observe thy Oaths, thy Vows, and Promises; yea, you swore to me with all the impudence in the world, that you would never visit Cephisa, and yet I catch you here myself in the night time, and in such a condition too, that shows you are in no bad terms with her.  

And still pursuing her fierce rage,  
Which the poor Gentleman could ne'er assuage,  
Her Feet, her Nail, her Teeth again  
Began to storm amain,  
She bit, she scratched, she flung,  
While still her Tongue  
Such a damned peal rung,  
That for its violence the storm could ne'er be long  
O had she had a Poniard in her hand  
How she'd a stabbed the faithless Gentleman;  
He from her rage must needs have found his death,  
Though she for grief next minute lost her breath.   
All that ever the poor Lycidas could do in this conjuncture, was to make use of all the strength he had, to carry her away in his Arms, and bear her by plain force into the street; for he very wisely considered, that Cephisa's Staircase was no very convenient place to make his reconciliation in with Zelotide, and that if this adventure came to be known, then might, God knows what come of it. But he could not carry her away so suddenly, but Cephisa heard the noise, though she knew not exactly what the matter was, and the noise ceasing on the sudden, she believed that some of the Household had been playing the fool together.  
At last Lycidas having got Zelotide into the street, and given her his hand to lead her home, he began to show how imprudently she had behaved herself; how that if her extravagance had been known, she would have given a very ample subject for Cephisa and the malicious Cavalier to laugh at, nay, and all the Town too, and that henceforward she ought to take a greater care of her Honour and Reputation. Take thou then a greater care of it, replied the poor Lady weeping; Cruel Man! since thou knowest to what transports thy Love carries me, oughtest thou to expose me to all occasions of them? and aught▪ not you out of gratitude and acknowledgement, to cease to visit that Woman, that I hate above all the world, and which you ought to hate too, had you any love or respect for Zelotide?  

Thus to fierce rage succeeds soft tenderness,  
And a wise Lover can make use of this.   
And so did our Lycidas, who seeing his Zelotide something pacified, hoped he might wholly pacify her; so that having walked along for some time, and now brought her almost home, he desired her to wipe away her Tears, and to put herself in order as well as she could lest the House might take notice; And then he promised her, that as soon as she was got home, he would justify himself better than she thought 'twas possible he could; nay, he engaged he would bring her such reasons, as should absolutely satisfy her; and as soon as they were got into the house, both of them seating themselves on a Couch together, and out of all hearing, Lycidas spoke either this, or something like it.  
I Must confess, Madam, I promised you never to visit Cephisa, nor was I ignorant of your aversion for that Lady, nor how much I should disengage you, should I admit of any engagement with your enemy; yet after all this my frank confession of those faults you charge me with, be pleased but to consider how I committed the crime, and you will be enforced to confess it was not so great as you would please to make it. The first visit I made Cephisa, I was absolutely necessitated to. You remember, Madam, that day the Coach was overturned, I happened to be so nigh the place, that civility engaged me to succour the Lady; and than it was, Madam, that I was constrained to lead her home; on the morrow she sent her Husband to return me thanks for my civility, so that I should have been the merest Clown in nature, had I not waited upon her. About two or three days after, I went to acquit myself of this obligation, and there I met a company at Cards, where they would needs make me a Gamester; and then having lost all my Money, not to abuse you, Madam, it was that only consideration drew me thither, as Gamesters most commonly do all they can to save themselves. It is true, Madam, I never made you acquainted with it, and I was fearful it might displease you, should you come to know of it; and I cannot deny neither, since you will know all, that sometimes when I was at Cephisa's, I never played neither, but be pleased to know then, it was because I found no convenient company; and you know very will, Madam, since your Husband's return to Town, I cannot have the liberty to wait upon you so often as I could wish, so that not knowing whither to go, I have sometimes gone thither; this House of Cephisa's is not far from my Lodging, so that I have spent some hours there, more for custom or convenience, then for any inclination: I have been there sometimes after dinner, but faith; Madam, it was because I knew not how to spend my time elsewhere, and sometimes a cross humour of mine hath kept me there, only out of design to vex the Lady and the Cavalier, for I saw my presence gave restraint to their company, so that, Madam, did you but know how I carry myself there, hating Caphisa as much as you can for the hear of you; you would be very well satisfied at those visits I render her: sometimes I compliment her, but it is after so mad a strain, that neither she, nor I myself understand a word of it: and after all these obliging fooleries for divertisement, I pick a quarrel with her, and rip up all her faults to her face; in a word, Madam, I treat her like a person that you hate.  
I believe, Sir, these excuses will not seem very plausible, and it is possible, too long too, to be spoke to an impatient Lady without interruption: but Zelotide I can assure you, heard them most attentively, and highly approved them▪ for the fear she conceived of losing Lycidas, and the joy she resented to see him excuse himself, with so much submission, after such an adventure, when she might reasonably expect he would have broke with her, appeased her instantly, nay and made her repent too of her rash proceedings: she promised therefore Lycidas to love him as much as ever, upon condition he would no more see Cephisa. Lycidas told her, he could not so soon leave off seeing her, lest it might occasion some strange reports in the Town, and make people suspect them; but he assured her, the next time he played there, he would raise some quarrel, that he might have some pretence for his retreat thence. Zelotide was very well satisfied with his design.  

So the two Lovers marched along,  
And o'er and o'er  
They vowed and swore  
They never more  
Would their true Love and sweet contentment wrong.  
The peace thus formally concluded was,  
When Zelotide and Lycidas  
The more to strengthen it, thought good  
To Sign the Treaty with their Blood.  
They now redoubled all their kindnesses,  
And their true love more firmly to express;  
Did with true Flesh and Blood,  
What lusty Lovers do, and whiners wish they could.   
When Lycidas promised Zelotide to disengage himself from Cephisa, he really intended it. But he no sooner saw that lovely Lady, but he grew conscious of his disability to perform his promises.  

For when he saw the pretty Dame again,  
His Faith recoiled,  
His Loyalty was basely foiled,  
Nor could he any more his word maintain,  
And if he saw her once, he must again.   
And besides all this, he had not yet obtained the fruition of his wishes, and a kiss, and the like, had been all he had yet received of her, so that resolving not to lose all that trouble he had already engaged in, he pursued his visits; the jealous Lady was very well acquainted with them, but when ever she spoke of them to Lycidas, he told her he was just upon the point to leave her, and that he had not yet found any occasion to start a quarrel, as he told her he would.  
That plotting Fop the Cavalier did not yet know a word of what had passed upon the Staircase, so that he suffered a very considerable loss in it, for had he come to know so pleasant an adventure, that malice of his that was so natural to him, had drawn very fine advantages thence, and that talkative humour of his, would have been extremely gratified in publishing the secret with all the expedition imaginable. But though he miss of this, he hit upon one far better, and he was continually hammering something to disturb the best friends he had in the world, he lighted on a most cursed Intrigue that plagued Lycidas and Zelotide no less, than it satisfied the Author and Cephisa.  
One evening, that was one of the most serene and pleasant that ever had been seen, and that invited all the Town to walk Abroad in so sweet a season; all the handsome Creatures in the Town, went abroad to take the Air in the Garden I told you of before. Lycidas led Zelotide thither too, where they had not taken above three or four turns, before the Cavalier and Cephisa discovered them, and thinking they had a most happy opportunity to practise a devilish project of theirs, that they had been plotting for some time before, they resolved to put it in practice. The Gentleman projector would needs manage it himself, who meeting a Lackey of a Friend of his, gave him inductions what he had to do, and to encourage him to perform his part with the greater willingness, gave him something: the Lackey was very willing to serve him, and took the Letter that the Cavalier had provided before hand, and following the orders had been given him, he went to seek out Lycidas, and having found him without any great difficulty, he delivered him the Letter in Zelotide's company, and told him a Lady that he knew not, had commanded him to give him it. The young Rogue stayed not long enough to be asked many questions, but immediately disappeared (if I can properly say one disappears in the night, when there is almost no appearing) The Letter produced most effectually what it was designed for. For Zelotide considering how it was delivered; suspected some new engagement, and thought Lycidas was got again at his infidelity.  

Now for some Treason Lycidas  
Suspected was.  
On the least subject she  
Revived her Jealousy.  
Whilst her cursed humour did her soul inspire,  
From the least spark, she'd straight advance a fire.  
Her rage must still oppose what e'er withstood,  
And what you would not have her see, she would.   
It was for this reason that she presently snatched the Letter out of Lycidas' hands, and was fully resolved to read it: the two spies that followed them at some distance, and were a preparing themselves to laugh their guts out, were not at all deceived in their expectation. They heard Zelotide very urgent with Lycidas to go out of the Garden, to see for a Light to read the Letter, while that poor Lover was dissuading her to no purpose. For though he was wholly ignorant whence the Billet came, he was fearful there might be something in it, that her jealousy might make some ill interpretation of, and for this reason he did all he could to keep her in the Garden, and used all the wit he was master of to get the Letter from her. But his endeavours proved successless, and Zelotide spying a Light in the Gardeners, she forced Lycidas thither with her. The poor Gentleman so hung an Arse, you might easily perceive, with what regret he went forward, and the jealous Lady trooped along with such precipitation, that by her pace you might see her impatience. Cephisa and the Cavalier followed them undiscovered, and took a very convenient post under a little blind window of a ground-Chamber, whence they might easily see without discovery, and hear through the Glass all that passed between the Lovers. The impatient Creature was no sooner got nigh a Lamp, that gave light to all the little house, but she examined the Seal of the Letter, but not knowing it she at last opened it, but faith, drew as little satisfaction from that, as she had from the Seal before; she found nothing there but strange conjuring kind of Characters, that she understood not one tittle of; and it is very probable no body else. It is impossible to tell you what an excess of grief and despite, she resented at so strange a rencontre. She was presently persuaded that these were some Ciphers or other that Lycidas understood, and that without question, this Billet invited him to some Assignation with some new Mistress of his. Hereupon she begs of him, she threatens him, she persecutes him to discover this Mystery. But the Devil was in him if he did, for he understood no more of it, than she did, and all he could do, was to swear he could not devise the meaning of it, that without doubt the Lackey and mistaken him for some body else, and delivered the Letter to a false person. All this was true, he told her, for the Cavalier had scribbled over the Paper with those Arabian Pothooks, only to distract the poor Zelotide, and expose her ridiculous jealousy and extravagance: But Lycydas might swear long enough before she believed him; she still rested persuaded she was betrayed again by the unfaithful Lycidas, and took this Letter for an undoubted proof of it. Being grown now almost desperate, and never hoping to get the secret out of Lycidas, she makes use of her last effects of Goodness, of Rage, and all the Eloquence they had inspired her with.  

Nay my dear Lycidas I prithee tell.  
I'faith you must, and all shall straight be well,  
I'll gently pardon my dear Infidel.  
Nay I'll commend thee for thy secrecy,  
Excusing what I did not see.  
Come with that fear dispense  
And make me one of your Intelligence.  
And since my weaker Beauty could not be  
Powerful enough to chain your liberty  
Come, come, this pretty victress pray let's see.  
Though I the torments of a Rival prove,  
Yet I'll be sworn, I'll not disturb your Love.  
I'll think some handsomer  
You did to me prefer,  
I'll think her charms might well your Loyalty,  
Destroy, and make my servant false to me.   
But seeing she'd prevailed nothing by her entreaties she descended to her Rage and Fury again, which it will be extremely difficult to express, to your Royal Highness.  

Cruel inhuman Man▪ she said,  
And wilt thou still conceal thy guilty Love?  
That guilty Love that hath thy faith betrayed,  
And makes poor Zelotide such pains to prove?  
She stopped awhile, and then her rage displayed.  
Yes, I will know that wicked Jilt  
I will, base Man, and when I shall  
Have found her out, she in thy sight shall fall,  
And expiate both thine and her own guilt.  
My Rival by this hand shall die,  
Yes, Sir, 'tis Justice, and not Cruelty.  
Nor care I what the graver world may cry.  
Let 'em condemn my Rage, or justify;  
Credit's a thing remote, when injured Love is by.   
If your Royal Highness could possibly be surprised at any thing, it would without doubt, to see a Woman make Verses thus extempore; But if that opinion be true that tells us, that Poetry hath something of Enthusiasm and Fury in it, you must needs confess, Sir, that Zelotide was in a most incomparable vein Poetical.  
Lycidas was now infinitely troubled with her Prayers and her Menaces; But it was out of his power to satisfy her, and unfold a mystery, that he himself was utterly ignorant of. And now Zelotide seeing neither her prayers nor her threats could force the secret from him, very happily thought upon a stratagem, that must of necessity convince him. She was confident, that he had received more Letters than this one, from his new Mistress, and that if she searched him immediately upon the spot, she should find some other tokens of his perfidy about him. Having abused herself into this opinion, she must search his pockets, where she found a great company of Letters that he received from his friends and kindred; she had the patience to open all, one after another, and finding there some few of 'em of a Woman's hand, she read them over and over, and unhappily meeting with something in them that she did not well understand, she presently concluded they came from her unknown Rival; for though Lycidas was Treated as a Cousin or Brother in them, she said, that was only out of confederacy to hide their deceit. In fine, having read over five or six of them, and discovered nothing considerable, she went to open another; but Lycidas seeing by the Superscription, that it came from his Sister, about some business that concerned his Family, which for many considerations he was engaged to conceal; he pulled it from her, and told her that he could not possibly let her read that, and immediately tore it in pieces. Your Royal Highness may easily imagine that there needed no more to persuade her that this Letter came from her Rival, and might have discovered all the secret to her.  

Seeing him tear the Letter, up she flew,  
She tore his Face and Hair,  
Or by his Hair along the Lover drew,  
Such were the dictates of her fell despair.  
And could her Nails have reached his Heart,  
(Where her fair eyes had often played their part.  
And stamped her Image with so sweet an Art)  
She would his Heart have torn in pieces too,  
And pulled her Image thence,  
She with that loss could easily dispense,  
Could she but give the faithless Man his due,  
And he that first the fierce Megaera drew  
Might very well have took her Image hence.   
But the good honest Gardener, which had never read of Megaera, nor perhaps heard of her, took her for some Woman bit by a mad Dog, and thereupon armed himself with all his Utensils, his Bill and his Knife, etc. that he might upon occasion turn Spaniard, and fight with Sword and Dagger, and I cannot tell what besides, lest she should do him a mischief. Cephisa and the Cavalier were not altogether so fearful; all the pain they were in, at least the most considerable, was to forbear laughing out, lest they should be discovered.  
All that the poor Gallant, (I think I may justly call him so in this adventure) could do after his mad Treatment, to fly his mad Mistress, (and faith I believe he did it as heartily as ever he sought her before,) and save his Honour in the sight of the Gardener and his Wife, who as he thought, were the only spectators of the Tragedy, was to answer her fury with raillery, and get out of her hands as soon as he could; so that spying some Kinsmen of Zelotide's a walking in the Garden, and as good fortune would have it, something near the Gardeners, he went out very briskly, having first taken the Letters from the pretty fretful Lady, and entreated them to accompany Zelotide home, for he was engaged to leave her there, to quell some disorder that had happened among the Soldiers of his Company. He was glad he got off so, and was now fully resolved never more to expose himself to her capricious extravagancies.  
Zelotyde hearing how handsomely he had made out the story to her friends, had some comfort to see with what prudence and discretion he had excused her, and made use of the same pretence, as he had done. Her credulous Kinsmen were easily abused thus, but Cephisa and her Gentleman, that had seen what had passed at the full length, knew the truth of all but too well for her repose and reputation. They laughed to some purpose, you need not doubt it, but the unconscionable Creatures were not content to laugh among themselves, they must needs publish it too, and communicate the success of their Intrigue. And your R. H. need not wonder at it.  

For stifled Joy does to a torment turn,  
And what was made too warm, begins to burn.  
It's force is sprightly, quick, and vigorous,  
And if you keep it in, more active grows,  
But then its force one Heart can ne'er contain;  
Disperse thy Joy, and 'twill return with gain.  
This pretty contradiction pleasures have,  
For still their Joys increased, the more they gave   
And it seems the Cavalier was very certain of this, for he had rather have lost the better half of Blood, than the pleasure to publish so pleasant a story; on the morrow therefore (so that it seems, the Cavalier was something mannerly not to call up his friends out of Bed at that time of night to tell it them) it was Town-talk, and many a dull Droll had been passed upon it. And now the Cavalier was as happy as he could wish to be; oh how he hug'd himself, and it is very probable took himself for the greatest wit of the Age, after so brave an Intrigue, so gallantly managed? so that you may easily imagine he told it to all he met with, what interest he had in it, how it was he that wrote the Letter, and took care to see it delivered. He spoke besides this, all the finest things he could upon that subject, and rallyed upon it after a horrible rate, where ever he could find any that had the patience to hear him. Lycidas was told of it that very day, and seeing what bad effects this raillery might produce, that it was too bitter for a friend; and besides, he was engaged in Honour to testify by some gallant action, that he had not spread the report about, but some body else, he sought out the Cavalier, and desiring to be informed of the flying report that came from him, he could get no other satisfaction from him, but some new abuses; so that bidding him draw immediately, before they could be parted, he wounded him in the Arm in two several places.  

And thus our petty Satirists came off  
After the pleasure of a scoff,  
When on their heads their Railleries' still fall,  
And as they talked, so now they suffer all:  
They find themselves undone,  
Because they laughed too soon:  
They damn their Drollery  
And now too late they see,  
When all the danger's past  
'Tis then the happiness to laugh at last.   
The combat happening to be in a public place, it could not be of any long continuance. The Combatants were presently parted, but the news of their quarrel being suddenly dispersed, their friends immediately made thither, and ranked themselves on one side and the other. The Cavalier had many very considerable Kinsmen in Town. But Lycidas was in the head of a Regiment, so that they could not easily make assault upon him. Their common friends seeing that the Cavaliers wounds were not dangerous, and the stir that the quarrel had raised among the people, might break out into some disorders, resolved to take order betimes about it. Cephisas' Gentleman, the Man I mean that she called Husband, was one of the most active among them, to bring the Combatants to some agreement; for having learned that his Lady was concerned in the scandalous report, he judged himself engaged to silence it, with all the expedition he could. To which purpose he went with some friends of his to the principal Officers of the Regiment, who were very glad to see themselves prevented in treating for a pacification; and to requite his civility, they agreed that the peace should be concluded at his House. The two fighters were led thither, and there they embraced one another, after some petty satisfactions adjudged to Lycidas, which my Intelligence did not acquaint me with, and which, it is no matter whither your Royal Highness know or no, since they are not material to the story.  
Zelotide presently heard of the quarrel, but was not acquainted with the cause of it, for no body was so imprudent and uncivil as to acquaint her or her Husband with that raillery that had past all the Town through upon the Garden-adventure. So that the jealous Creature not knowing what Lycidas and the Cavalier fought about, guessed at the cause of the quarrel, as a jealous Lady should do, She believed that the Cavalier that had served Cephisa a long time before, could not endure her engagement with Lycidas.  

For Rivals, if they once but chance to meet  
With odd caresses do each other greet,  
Honour and Love Command them to fight on,  
He for the Girl the Honour has to die,  
And he lives still the fair one to enjoy,  
For one can ne'er be well, till th' other's go.   
This opinion of hers very much augmented her jealousy, if it was any longer capable of degrees; and the poor Lady for five or six days, was plagued worse than ever. For since the adventure of the Letter, Lycidas had never waited on her, so that she could not have the pleasure to tell him of his infidelity, nor the satisfaction she desired, to know the certainty of her suspicions▪ she was now throughly persuaded, that Lycidas had quite deserted her, to visit Cephisa with the greater convenience, that her Rival triumphed over her and her Beauty, and that it was probable they were diverting themselves with her extravagance.  

These thoughts of hers so distracted her,  
That when her fury grew less violent,  
She of her jealousy would oft repent,  
And thinking on those miseries,  
Those briny Tears and bitter Sighs,  
Her humour did so fruitfully create.  
Her Rage, her Fury, she herself would hate.  
But then considering  
With what high reason she had jealous been,  
What reason than she had  
To Storm, to Rage, to bid her Soul run mad;  
Her jealousy she justified,  
And swore she'd still be jealous, though she died  
Of her repentance she repented too,  
All was unjust but what her Fury prompted to.   
She had an hundred different resolutions in an instant, and some of them absolutely destructive of all the rest, but at last having consulted her own soul, she resolved to do her uttermost to retrieve her Lycidas.  

She hoped he still might think her fair,  
Her Eyes were still as charming as they were,  
When they first conquered him,  
And did so lovely seem.  
And if she must despair,  
Her former Conquests ever to repair,  
She judged it better still  
To see him, though an Infidel,  
Then ne'er to see the Man she loved so well.   
This resolution seemed so plausible to her, that she preserved it for some days, and while she was in this mind, she very happily met an Officer of the Regiment, that she had some little knowledge of, and that was a very intimate friend of our Lycidas', and if I am not very much mistaken, she met him as she was coming out of the Church one day. The Officer, being very obliging to the Ladies, as all Lycidas' his Chronies must needs be, offered her his service to hand her to her Coach, which she very willingly accepted, because she imagined, she might learn of him the ground of the quarrel; and truly, though my Author mentions it hot, I can easily be persuaded, it was as well to get a new servant, as to inquire after the old one. The Officer was extremely surprised to see her ignorant of what all the Town talked of, and wherein she had so particular a concern, and could not believe but that it was only a piece of her Countenance, to endeavour to persuade him that she was not the cause of it. But she spoke to him so seriously, and so earnestly entreated him to inform her, that at last he was persuaded to it, both to serve the Lady, and do Lycidas a kindness: He assured her therefore, that the Garden-adventure was known all the Town over; that Cephisa and the Cavalier had divulged it, having first been the eye-witnesses of it in the Garden; that the Cavalier was Author of that Letter that had made all that disturbance, and that talking of it in all company he came into, Lycidas came to hear of it, and judging himself in Honour obliged to demand reason for the injury; and Duel a person that had exposed that Lady that he most passionately affected, to the laughtter and abusive raillery of all the Town▪ he wounded the Cavalier, though not dangerously, and the business was taken up at Madam Cephisa's, because her Husband had very much concerned himself in their agreement.  
Though this Relation very much afflicted Zelotide, when she heard how her extravagancies were laughed at, and what an ill opinion the Town might justly conceive of her Virtue, yet she could not choose in the midst of all her sorrows, but resent the greatest joy conceivable.  

She loved her Honour ne'er the worse for this,  
Her Fame and Credit she did still prefer▪  
To life, and what was else more dear▪  
Yet Love must bear down all, what e'er it is.  
Her kind esteem of both of them was great,  
Great as esteem divided well could be,  
But if the one of them must needs retreat,  
Poor Honour then that one must be.  
Love forced her to't with such a sweet necessity  
That what e'er Honour urged in his defence,  
Was foolery,  
Scarce Sense.  
Thus that she might her Love more truly prove,  
She sacrificed her Honour to her Love.   
So that, Sir, you may easily imagine that Zelotide was not extremely troubled, and that she could admit of some Consolation in the midst of her afflictions; for though she had lost her reputation, she was more concerned at the loss of her Lover, whom now she hoped she might recover. She could now no longer preserve her anger against Lycidas, since she found her suspicions of him were unjust, and he was more innocent than she imagined, and had behaved himself like a Man of Honour in maintaining the interests of his Mistress with such vigour, against the malice of a Rival, and the raillery of an Enemy. And then she immediately was plotting how to revenge herself on Cephisa and the Cavalier, but she thought it now more convenient to think of Love than Revenge, and by all means to recall her Lycidas. She would not let slip so happy an opportunity, but humbly thanked the Courteous Officer for the trouble he was pleased to give himself in acquainting her with the cause, and full relation of the quarrel; again assuring him, that till that moment she had been kept in ignorance of what so much concerned her; she told him, she acknowledged herself infinitely obliged to Lycidas for the defence of her Honour, and having now found by his discourse, that the Officer was Lycidas' Confident, and acquainted with all his secrets, she very ingeniously confessed to him, that vehement inclination, she had for his friend, and having by this obliging confidence drawn him into her Interest; she avowed to him, that Lycidas had never seen her since the adventure in the Garden; that she was intolerably troubled at it, and that he would oblige her eternally, would he bring his friend along with him to honour her with a visit; that the chief reason why she longed to see him, was to beg his pardon for her unjust suspicions of him, and express her gratitude for the zeal he used in her service.  
This civil obliging Officer promised her all see desired of him, and so left her, with a firm resolution to oblige Lycidas to wait upon her as much as formerly. The Lady had moved him with her pretty-taking conversation, and her Wit and Beauty pleased him so much, and she was so wholly amiable in his Eyes, that he concluded she deserved to be served with all the constancy in the world; that any Man of Honour or Conscience ought to rest satisfied with such a happiness, and that his friend was too too blame for his infidelity to so incomparable a Lady; and truly it seems he really thought so, for he kept his word most exactly; he told Lycidas of all the discourse he had with Zelotide, and proved to him, that he was engaged to wait upon her, that he ought to take those extrvagant effects of her jealousy for the marks of an incomparable affection, and that if Love could not induce him to see her, yet fear might persuade him to't, for what might he not with justice apprehend from a Lady as mad and desperate, as amorous.  
Lycidas, since his Quarrel with the Cavalier, had not seen Zelotide indeed, but then neither had he seen Cephisa, having learned that she was an accomplice of his enemy; and so at that time his Love lay fallow, and without employment. For, Sir, I cannot justly count those for visits, that he made then (for it seems by my intelligence, he was with some more of the Females of the Town then two, though I have not learned their names nor quality) because he could not lose his liberty to any of the Ladies. But his humour would not permit him to live long thus.  

Unhappy he  
Should he for two whole days without a Mistress be  
Two such whole days to him might well appear  
More than a thousand year.  
Cessation from his Love made seem  
Each minute a whole age to him.  
That musty rest to him appeared more rude,  
Then all the Lover's servitude,  
With all its Gall, and bitterness imbrued.  
Trouble he loved and doted on, while he  
Could not be quiet in tranquillity,  
He a true Soldier  
Without the War  
Would quickly broken be.   
Besides, Sir, he could not be out with his Mistress for above eight days for the heart of him; and however they had plagued him, he forgot all their cruelties in a very short time. So that there needed not much persuasion to draw him to Madam Zelotide's, His careful friend led him thither on the morrow, and knowing very well that when a pair of Lovers is once met, they, agree among themselves a great deal better, than they would by the mediation of a third person, he left them either to be honest together, or do what they would; and they poor souls were so well employed, that they never saw their common friend sneak away from them.  

And though at first they both dissembled well, 
And faith here I think the Poet is in as bad a humour as his Lover.   
She personated the cruel,  
And he as surly was as none can tell,  
But he that wrote Squire Witherington's Knell;  
He left Love to be judged of their quarrel.   
This little supreme Judge knows his Art at well, as can be and draws considerable advantages from such disorders, and those which pretend to have a familiar acquaintance with him, assure us,  

That he exacts his Fee  
With all the vigour of another Judge,  
Which if the surly Lovers grudge  
Immediately to satisfy,  
The cursed Villain leads him many a trudge.  
But if they do, or at least counterfeit,  
All that they can to pay the debt,  
If they talk nonsense, play the fool  
Sufficiently, and love by rule▪  
He gives so kind a sentence then  
Both for the Ladies and the Men,  
They both go satisfied away,  
Though both are cast, both seem to win the day.   
Our two Lovers, for now I think I may safely call them so, recompensed him for all the care he took, to bring them to an agreement, with new acknowledgements, and new testimonies of their submission. And, as he is indeed a very pretty Arbitrator, and works our reconciliations, with the handsomest address imaginable;  

He brought the matter then about so well,  
And did so neatly make them both agree,  
With his sweet Art, and pretty industry▪  
That the most curious could not tell,  
Who the most willing was, the Man or she,  
Both kissed, both blushed, and blushing said;  
In vain they have our Love betrayed.  
Thus we redeem our fond delay,  
And pull back yesterday.  
Our melting kisses,  
And amorous bliss'  
May teach the World there's no such joy as this's:  
Thus without wronging either,  
The little Rogue pleased both, and injured neither  
That's thus, he brought them both together,   
Zelotide was never more satisfied since she breathed, and Lycidas was never more contented; Zelotide was ravished to find by the effect of her Garden-Adventure, that her servant was more innocent than she thought he was; and that that happy unhappy adventure, had made him renounce her Rival too. Lycidas was no less satisfied at this conjuncture, that proved him a most constant Inamorato, when if one might have searched his heart for him, he would have found him otherwise, and that furnished him with fresh means to deceive the poor Zelotide. They being thus equally overjoyed, the two Lovers, at last parted, and resolved to meet as often as they possibly could.  
While the two Lovers were thus happy to excess the fair Cephisa must not be forgotten, who as brisk as she was, began to be troubled at Lycidas' absence; she now began to perceive that her laughing had cost her dear, and that her raillery had made her lose a man that she loved great deal more than she thought she did, before he left her. She now repent of her Intrigues, and her designs upon Zelotide, though she hated her more now then ever, since they must all fall upon her. She heard of Lycidas and her Rival's agreement, and thereupon redoubled her Hate of Zelotide, and Love of Lycidas. While the Cavalier had entertained her with his fooleries, laughing, and diverting herself at the expense of her Rival, was all her employment, but now she thought on something else.  

That she reflected on her Love,  
That she did never, as she ought, improve,  
She called herself an innocent,  
A fool that so opposed her sweet intent,  
And found that Zelotide,  
Though she her sprightly passion did not hide,  
Was yet the wiser of the two,  
While she enjoyed, what she but wished to do.  
Those pleasures that she might have had,  
When her bad conduct all her joys betrayed.  
Did now torment her soul,  
Which present griefs and her lost joys control.  
And now her Love too late had made her see,  
That Lycidas,  
(And then she called herself an Ass)  
That Man of Men, that lovely he,  
Was fit for something else then Raillery,   
She was resolved to retrieve her Gallant, but here was the Devil on it, she could not devise how to effect her wishes, and recall her injured Lover. The, Cavalier, after their quarrel was no fit person for such a message, and Lycidas had left his Landlady that had formerly been her servant, so that every thing ran contrary to this unfortunate fair one. But, Sir, mere chance obliged her with the happiest opportunity she could have wished, and that it was impossible she should ever have thought on. She very happily met Lycidas at one of her Cousins, that she went to visit; and this Cousin, as good luck would have it, had got a Gentleman with her, that she had no aversion for, so that leaving Lycidas to entertain Cephisa, she talked in private with this person, for truly, Sir, I have not learned hit quality; Lycidas now very prettily engaged without the least design of his, to talk with Madam Cephisa, he began his discourse with reproaches; but the Lady made so many excuses, and protested so unfeignedly, and with so great a tenderness, that she was extremely sorry for what was past, that the easy Lycidas was touched with her submission. And truly who could deny so distressed a Beauty any thing? certainly Lycidas could not easily do it. Insensibility, I dare be sworn for him, was none of his crime.  

When any Miss of his  
Had by some base devise  
(None e'er displeaed him with their cruelties)  
Angered the injured Lover,  
And in his Air did his just rage discover.  
She might her pardon easily procure,  
Poor Lycidas could ne'er endure,  
(Ladies you'll praise his pity sure)  
Not to give pardon and himself unto her.  
When his resentments raged as high,  
As injuries could make 'em fly.  
He the offence could easily forgive,  
And let th' offender in his bosom live.  
Though by malicious subtlety  
He by the pretty Sex should cheated be,  
He'd still retain his clemency,  
And might the Judgement be referred to him,  
No witty Beauty, would long guilty seem.   
One cannot therefore wonder if these submissive and charming excuses of Cephisa's did not very sensibly move our Lycidas. Your Royal Highess will undoubtedly avow, that any one else, far more insensible, and obdurate than our Gentleman was, would be extremely touched with them; if you please to consider, with how taking an Air our pretty Criminal uttered them. Nay, she pursued her submission still and told him, that if by any fault of another nature, she could expiate her past one, she was ready to engage in it, and prefer his Love to her Innocence; and that in a word, she would most willingly procure his pardon at the expense of what she held most dear in the world. The cunning Lady managed her business rood incomparably, for the pacified Lycidas founded his happiness upon her promises, and truly his hopes did not abuse him; for after some small stay there, he led Cephisa home again, where the peace was concluded to the great contentment of both parties. After this formality was once over, they agreed upon certain rules for their living together in better intelligence, and managing their pleasures for the future with prudence, the longer to continue them: Then they fell a talking of poor Zelotide, and her extravagant jealousy; but Lycidas being very unwilling to clash with her any more, told Cephisa very ingeniously, that he must needs wait on her still; but he assured her, it should be only out of policy, to avoid any new disorders, that her mad Love and Jealousy might produce. It was not long before Zelotide was informed of their reconciliation, and of those visits the Gentleman made Cephisa after their agreement; but Lycidas excused himself very plausibly to her, and told her it was very difficult for him not to see Cephisa sometimes, since all the Gamesters continually met there, and all the spiritual and ingenious persons of the Town made her House their Rendezvous; and then he swore he had no private acquaintance with her, and never saw her but in company; and thus the pretty Gentleman deceived the Ladies.  
Now, Sir, You see all is quiet, the Cavalier and the two Rival Ladies agree very well with our Gallant; but damned ill luck must raise up a new disorder among them, and disturb their tranquillity as much as formerly.  
A Cousin of Zelotides, we called her Cleonice in the beginning of this History, was to marry one of her Sisters (but truly, Sir, I could never learn what hey called her, though I used all possible means to find it out) to a very near kinsman of Cephisa's (but faith, I cannot tell who he was neither.) Being the Wedding was to be public, and very magnificent (whence I gather it was no Westminster one, though perhaps the couple scorned to have more honesty than our English fools that are to be married at the place aforesaid) the Gallant (for yet I think I may call him so▪ before he's brought to the Altar to sacrifice his liberty, and debauch his Mistress into that dull and insignificant thing commonly called a Wife) for his part invited Cephisa and her Gentleman; and the Lady-Bride invited her friends thither, and among the rest, Zelotide and the thing she called Husband. These two Families, as I told you before, for all that feigned reconciliation, hated each other still most mortally, but they concealed their enmity; they faintly saluted, one another when they chanced to meet, and when ill fortune brought them into company together, they were civilly complaisant, just as we are to strangers commonly, so that they could not handsomely refuse their invitation, though they knew before hand who they must expect to meet there. The Gentleman that was designed for the Groom had been an Officer in Lycidas' Regiment, and had been for some time an intimate friend of his; so that Lycidas was also invited. The Feast was to be kept at a Villa of Cleonice's, about two miles out of Town. They all kept their Assignation very exactly; and Lycidas that came something later than the rest was in the greatest trouble in the world to meet his two Mistresses both together in the same company.  

Now Lycidas must ned's confess  
That Happiness  
Has its excess,  
And can to misery degenerate.  
Thus plagued by two such loving Mistresses  
He wished their favour less,  
Their Love disturbs him more than would their hate  
Now he must part his Favours too,  
And his kind Graces justly share;  
What should the poor distracted Lover do?  
They both are witty, sweet, and fair,  
Sweet as when gentle Zephyrs Fan the Air,  
That does unto some Flowery Vale repair.  
Brought to this sad distress  
Both how to leave and choose a Mistress,  
He all their charms looked o'er  
And found them both as charming as before.  
What shall I do? he cried,  
Can I those Lips and sprightly Eyes forsake,  
That would of jove again a satire make,  
Or force him so me new shape to take?  
No, no, I can't leave either,  
Nor can I my true Love divide.  
Then I mud keep & love them both together.  
While thus confounded his poor foul remains,  
Now on his Zelotide he casts a glance,  
And thence he did his love the more advance,  
While he new Beauties spied, and charms by chance,  
That loaded him with more of th' Lovers Chains.  
But when he looked on his Cephisa, than  
His Love for her returned again.  
While thus in distration he lay  
Now leaning this, now th' other way,  
Now the sweet Girl, now th' jealous bore the sway,  
At last hit Fetters he would needs retain,  
And constant unto both remain;  
But now at present he must see  
How to divert his misery;  
And lest he should displease either,  
Resolved at present to choose neither.   
So that he resolved that I may tell it your Royal Highness in Prose as well as Verse, for that day to renounce both his Mistresses, and apply himself to Madam Cleonice. Being she was the Mistress of the house, and he had some acquaintance with her ever since he first saw Zelotide, and no body ever suspected him of any particular acquaintance with her, he thought he had taken the less dangerous resolution, and that by this happy means he might keep his Favour with both his Ladies. And truly the reasonable Cephisa was contented to see him bestow his love any where else but on Zelotide, and reckoned herself infinitely engaged to him; but Zelotide was not of so tame a humour, she could not endure that her servant should caress any body besides her dear self; and though she was overjoyed to see that Lycidas did not so much as look upon Cephisas; she was not satisfied with that, but would have had him cast an Eye on no body else: but her prudence in this conjuncture, mastered her soul, and concealed her resentments, so that by her actions none could judge of her inward motions, though she suffered all the torments that Rage and Jealousy could inflict, while our Lycidas at the Ball, at the Banquet, or where ever he was, was always with Madam Cleonice, and carried himself so discreetly, that one would have sworn he had not the least inclination for Zelotide or Cephisa,  
Lycidas came off thus a day and for some part of the night, till the Lady was brought whither she would be, to her Husband's embraces (for hang it, now that dull name must be used) where we shall leave them between the Sheets to their pleasures, (for, for the first night they will be something satisfied with one another sure, or else they never will) and see what the rest do, for you may guests at the married couples employment. Cleonice was now engaged to leave the company to go and give order for something about the house, and Lycidas, though he was very unwilling to part with her, was at last forced to leave her; so that now he was at a loss how to carry himself▪ The Ladies were at play in two several companies, whereof Cephisa was of the one, and Zelotide of the other. So that for fear of displeasing either of his Mistresses, he would not strike in there: and the Men were as hot a fuddling as can be imagined, and the greater part of them even dead drunk, with a pretty kind of Wine they had got, that charmed them so sweetly, that they could have been content to have died over again, might they have so agreeable an Executioner. Lycidas was engaged there for some time, but stayed not long among them; for this sport displeased him worse than the former, so that at last he thought it best to leave the company, and retire into some dark chamber, without speaking a Syllable, lest he might be dissuaded from his resolution. He was no sooner got where he intended, and laid himself upon a Bed, that very happily he light upon in the dark, but finding himself excessive weary with Dancing, he composed himself to take a nap, where he fell asleep very sound, with his clothes on, and had lain ruff all night, had not a very pleasant adventure raised him: He had not been asleep much above an hour (it is possible it might be an hour and half quarter) when he felt something pull him by the Arm, and he was not well awake, when by some caressing, and amorous kind of injuries, he perceived Zelotides voice; the prudent Gentleman foreseeing what inconveniences might hence arise, if she was caught with him in the dark, told her very civilly, she exposed herself to too great a danger; that some servant might easily discover them together, and that the preservation of her Honour engaged her to leave him immediately, and avoid the displeasure that she must of necessity resent, if any one should sple them together.  
Any other Lover less prudent than Lycidas, would not have troubled himself to mind his Mistress of her Duty in so happy an occasion; but, Sir, I am engaged to avow it to your Royal Highness, for I know Lycidas to be naturally a very prudent person, and one that loves to lay his Love-Intrigues as sure as can be.  
But how gravely soever he preached to the Lady, it was all to no purpose: Zelotide told him that she had just left play, and had left all the company mighty eager at it; that all their Husbands and their Servants were half drunk; that she thinking to find him there by himself, had stolen up to him very secretly; that no body would mind her absence, or if they did, would think she was gone to Bed; so that she might without the least danger enjoy his sweet company for some few moments.  

Forgetting then his danger, up he drew,  
And on his Prey he flew;  
Now his dull prudence he did soon reject,  
And nothing but hit Love respect,  
His Love, his gamesome Love he thought upon;  
Wisdom & Prudence with their gang begun,  
To phlegmatic Philosophers retire,  
That tell you of content, & dream of nothing higher.  
Lover's must mount; they're all, they're all a fire,  
What saucy danger dare his joys molest?  
And pull the Lover from his Lady's Breast,  
While he lies there 'twould impious be,  
To think of aught but Loves felicity  
And its fair Source, his lovely she,  
As in a Church 'twould impious be,  
To think of aught besides the Deity.   
The Lady when she saw her Gallant full persuaded, took her place very obligingly on the Bedside next the Wall, and begun a very pleasant entertainment with the too too happy Lycides, whereat both parties were very well satisfied, and I am confident, would never have been tired before morning, had not an unlucky accident intervened. The Lady had not long enjoyed what she desired, before she heard, as well as Lycidas, some noise upon the Stairs. This sudden troublesome noise obliged them to keep silence, and hearken what the matter was; immediately after they heard their Chamber door open, and some body come into them. Your Royal Highness may very well imagine what a condition this unexpected rencontre put our two Lovers in, they were afraid of all the world, and the smallest fortune they could hope for, was to be found together with Zelotides good Husband. This, excessive fear of theirs had rendered them immovable, and so they continued till Lycidas felt some thing very gently pull him by the Hair. He stirred not for all that, but snorted most courageously, to persuade the unknown Creature, if he could, that he was sound asleep; but whoever the incognito was, it pulled him so strangely, that he could not any longer personate the sleeper? besides some pretty tender discourses, and some few claps of the cheeks, had now almost discovered the person; and those pretty sweet caresses made him swear it was Cephisa: and faith she was the very person that disturbed the dark entertainment, who having left off play, and missing Lycidas, she looked for him among the Debauche's, but not finding him there neither, she came to look for him in this very chamber; Zelotide that was got on the other side of the Bed, durst not so much as breathe with freedom, for fear she should be discovered, but listened very attentively, and easily knew Cephisa by here voice, and seeing with what familiarity she caressed her Servant, did but too plainly see their engagement; whereupon she grew stark mad with Lycidas, and no less with Cephisa, her despire cracked her heartstrings; and that which very sensibly augmented these her misfortunes, was, that she durst not reveal her Sentiments, and unravel her Resentments; But though she durst not let her Rival know her, and revenge herself upon the brisk Jilt for that injury she received▪ Lycidas must feel here fury; she scratched and bit him by the hand, Arm, and Face, and pulled him by the Hair, of her side I mean, and in a word, wherever her Teeth and Nails could reach, she clawed him, as though the Devil were in her, or as though the Devil were in him, and she were to draw blood of the Wizard.  

Between a loving pair of Ladies lie,  
And yet turn neither way?  
Fie Lycidas, rise up, both satisfy,  
'Tis not impossible, faith try,  
And bear the lovely prizes both away.  
Thy sweet Catholicon will both appear,  
Her lovely Rage, here killing kindnesses.  
What misery can equal thine,  
When Love and Rage to plague thee both combine?  
Stretched and immovable he lay,  
Like some dull lump of Clay  
Which no brave sprightly form did actuate,  
Not could the Ladies make him show  
His Love or Hate,  
For all they with their Lips or Nails could do.  
This happy Cheek is kissed, and kissed again,  
And her sweet charming Lips stood hovering there  
About his Lips, his Eyes, and every where,  
Whence love had loaded here with many a chain  
And when her Lips she stole away,  
Her whiter Hands began the Play,  
And stroked the Roses in his Cheeks aside,  
That nothing like a Blush might stop the Tide  
Of their delight, and cause a dull delay.  
But then the other side must bleeding lie,  
And suffer whatever jealousy,  
Can with its Fury make him do,  
She pinched his hand, and bit his Lip in two;  
Yet still he lies insensible  
To stormy Fury, and to milder Love,  
Nor could you by his carriage justly tell  
From whence he did the great pleasure prove.  
What can we hope from out sweet Mistresses,  
When in the midst of two such pretty Creatures  
For Wit, & something else besides their Features  
In deep distress  
Poor Lycidas  
Lay like an Ass  
That Verse nor Prose can his sad Grief express.  
For two such Beauties too insensible,  
He can no passion feel,  
But in the midst of Heaven he finds a Hell.   
But necessity very much heightening his invention, together with that apprehension, he had, lest some disorder should happen between the Rival Ladies, he very nimbly leapt off the Bed, and taking Cephisa by the hand; Faith, Madam, said he I must be unhappy at present in spite of all your goodness, and your Favours must prove useless to me; nor can I embrace that happiness, which I would at any other time have sacrificed my life to have procured. I must have more prudence than you in this conjuncture, and preserve your Honour at the expense of my pleasures. Come Madam, I must lead you out of the chamber, and put you out of fear of a surprisal; without question, Madam, I infinitely oblige you in this, and make you shun an accident, that would trouble you as long as you breathed. He said no more, but taking her away with a pretty kind of violence, he led her out of the chamber, and having brought her down stairs, he left her at the Hall door, where all the Ladies were still a playing; she, as the was a very neat dissembler, humbly thanked him, and confessed he had very much obliged her. But, Sir, the business above Stairs had not been carried so happily, that Cephisa heard nothing of it; she heard something just as Lycidas was taking her away, and now must needs gratify her Curiosity, and see what the matter is; so that Lycidas had no sooner left her, but she followed him very silently to the Chamber door, where our too kind and loving Cavalier, and no less beloved neither, was scarce entered, but Zelotide that had now run mad with jealousy, caught him by the Hair, and with their Teeth, Nails, and Feet, did so handle him, you would have pitied the poor Gentleman.  

Thus the poor Lycidas' destiny  
Made him too late to see  
What a misfortune 'tis,  
How dull a bliss  
To have a furious Lady for a Miss;  
Thrice had the Man been Treated thus,  
With furious hands, and words more furious.  
At last assuming Courage, thus he said,  
Prithee give o'er  
No more, my Dear, no more,  
Thy Fury has enough thy Love betrayed,  
I see, I feel its vehemence,  
Too smartly does it strike the sense.  
I cannot with such Favours well dispense.  
Thus I another simile may prove,  
Destroyed by what I first desired, my Love.  
Nay now e'en moderate  
Your too much Love, or your pretended Hate.  
Let me not have so kind a Mistress,  
And if you'll love me, love me less;  
Love in excess does to a torment turn,  
And what at first but warmed, begins to burn.   
But Lycidas' Remonstrance had no great power over Zelotide's soul, her cries were still coutinued, and her Female weapons were still employed in expressing her resentments. All this, Sir, Cephisa heard very distinctly, and those bitter reproaches that continually accompanied her assaults, taught the curious Lady what was the cause of the disorder; she knew very well by what she heard Zelotide say, that her secret Commerce and Intelligence with Lycidas was discovered, and that if the noise she made were heard by any of the house, all their mysteries would come out, and her Honour be ruined eternally. Whereupon, very wisely considering for some small time, she reckoned it an extraordinary piece of prudence, to go and embrace Zalotide, and desire her, since they knew one another's intrigues, to live in good intelligence with her, and like good friends very honestly to share Lycidas betwixt them; Cephisa, who was a very just good natured thing, would have consented to this Treaty with all her soul; but Zelotide was not of so tame a humour to go sharers with any one, she must engross the whole Commodity; and truly in that Rage she then was, a more moderate person than Zelotide would be mad at such a Proposition, as really she was, and Treated poor Cephisa after the strangest manner that ever was heard of; she immediately left Lycidas, and fell soul upon her Rival, and being incomparable good at kicking, biting, and those kind of laudable exercises; she attacked Cephisa with so much cruelty, that the poor Lady was necessitated to defend herself with the same weapons; Lycidas in the mean time did all he possibly could to part them, but they were so devilish hot at it, that all his endeavours proved ineffectual▪ the noise of this formidable and most dreadful engagement, was presently heard by some of the Family, and they very diligently, and with all the speed they could, acquainted the company, so that in an instant, the greatest part of them, ran thither with lights, to discover the unknown adventure.  

Where the two Rivals did enraged appear,  
Without or Wit or Fear,  
Their Eyes did in their sparkling Dialect,  
Their Rage detect.  
Whilst from those sources of bright light their springs  
Far other Darts than those that conquer kings.  
They with an equal Rage are both possessed,  
She clawed her Rivals naked Breast,  
And with pure blood chequered her whiter Chest.  
But th'other than had lost her Hood,  
And her fine tresses did dish veled fall,  
By which her Rival drags her to the Wall,  
And so revenges all her loss of Blood.  
But then her Point is gone,  
And her new Locks are down,  
And her pure Pendants scattered on the ground  
Besides she ' as lost her Necklace;  
Nor did the controverted Lover,  
Though they both loved him, surffer less  
They scrached him, threw him down, and tumbled over.  
Six wounds he had all bleeding still,  
Whence did that blood distil,  
Could the impatient Jilts have stayed,  
Would have their fierceness and their Rage allayed.  
Well tired he was and bloody too,  
As well he might, after all this ado,  
And all 'cause one was not enough for two.  
Then for the Field where all this blood was spilt▪  
By one and th' other Jilt,  
'Tis richly worth your observation too,  
'Twas wondrous pretty, & I'll swear 'twas new  
There lay Bracelets, Pearls, and Amber,  
All spread about the Chamber,  
Two Gloves at two yard's distance lay,  
Those white Inviters to so black a Fray,  
There lay their Head dress,  
That they had placed before with sch a dress,  
Three Cuffs, if I remember too, there was  
Among which lay Lycidas  
Hit new white Wigg, half tore to pieces,  
(What a sad misfortune this is)   
There was a great deal more worth your Royal Highness' Observation, if I could remember it. But this may suffice to persuade you, that it was the prettiest Scene imaginable. The first care that the spectators took upon them, was to part the Combatants; but the disorder, had proceeded farther, had not some peaceable persons among them took up the business. For the Husbands being got half fuddled, without examination, ran on like mad caps to take their Wife's parts, so that the Battle was beginning again as bloodily as ever, and had continued so, had not the Master of the House, with the assistance of some Friends, and Kindred, mediated betwixt them, and treated a cessation from Arms on both parties, until the cause of the quarrel could be known. They asked Cephisa, and asked Zelotide what occasioned their engagement, but neither of them answered a word to purpose, but continued scolding at one another, as though they had been brought up at Billing sgate, and stood six times in the Cucking-stool; Lycidas, that had always a very quick invention in such conjunctures, and never pumped for a lie in his life, saw all was lost, if he did not light on some sudden expedient, to bring all off again, and conceal their Mysteries, and save his Lady's reputation. His sprightly imagination immediately furnished him with the happiest device in the world; whereupon he offered to inform the company of the true cause of the disorder; and when he saw them all keep silence, he told them, That Cephisa and Zelotide (as ill luck would have it) had some business at the same time to go up the same pair of Stairs, and that they went up with so much precipitation, that they had not time to call for a light; that in the dark, not seeing one another, they chanced at the Stair-head to justle very furiously; And that having no good will for one another, as all the Town knows, they took it for an abuse: And thereupon came to words about it, and from words to blows, so that he lying in chamber hard by, whither he bade retired from the Debauch, to sleep a little, was awaked by their noise, and went out to end the quarrel; That he had by main force brought one of the Ladies into hit Chamber, to keep her from her Enemy; But that the other had pursued her so furiously, and they both continued so obstinate in their fight humour, that they had treated one another just so as they saw, and had put him in that condition they found him in, for endeavouring to part them.  
While Lycidas was carrying on his relation, the Rival-Ladies came to themselves a little, and began to fear, lest the subject of their quarrel should be discovered; but seeing, Sir, how ingeniously their common Lover had excused them, and brought all off again, they avowed all he said, and made a fit use of his probable excuses. She justled me, cried one, and she justled me said the other,; and were so hot at it presently, that their friends came to hold them in, lest they should again commence the combat. But the Master of the House, and some other friends that Tere there, easily quieted this second emotion, and remedied the relapse. I hay told the two interessed Gentlemen, that no body was injured, that all was by mere chance, and that the blows were so equally divided, that neither could boast of her success, The sage and prudent Husbands having very gravely heard all the particulars, were the first persons that laughed at the adventure, and swore their Wives were as drunk as they were, and called the Female combatants Fools, and Gossips, and God knows what; but begged Lycidas' pardon a thousand times over, made him all the excuses they could think on, engaged their fight Beauties to make Lycidas satisfaction for the injury he had received, and without more ado reeled to their debauch again. The two Rival-Ladies embraced one another, at the request of the company of the Women, and were overjoyed in so dangerous a conjuncture, at the preservation of their Honour, they laughed as heartily as the rest, at the pleasant extravagance of their quarrel, and told it just so as Lycidas had done before them.  
The Husbands being got pretty well drunk by this time, and the Ladies having, laughed their laugh out, all the company went to bed, and among the rest, the Bride and her Gentleman; for though I told you they went to bed before, you must know that they poor souls rose again, and came to see another kind of combat then what they were engaged in, but now the Company once again brought them together, where we shall leave them, for I think we cannot leave them better: On the morrow the company parted, having first agreed, and judged it requisite, that the two reconciled Ladies, Cephisa and Zelotide should go to Town in the same Coach; and their Husbands fearing lest Lycidas had not heartily pardoned them for all the scratches, together with the bites and bruises he had received, would by all means persuade him to go along with them, without any other soul with him, but his two Mistresses; and these good obliging Cornutos charged their Wives to pacify him too, and do all they could to procure his pardon.  

Thus do those civil Gentlemen  
Sometimes our pleasure, and our joys advance  
They hug their Lady's Favourite, and then  
Commend the pretty souls into their hands.  
Those horn-mad Cuckolds now are out of date  
That would the Courtly Gallant hate  
That Poisons, Swords, and Halters threaten still  
And to do more than kill,  
And vindicate their Honour on that Head  
That had (for so they speak) defiled their Bed,  
When as kind souls they did but all they could,  
To please their Ladies at expense of Blood,  
And do that Drudgery the Husbands should.  
No; our obliging Generation  
Will no such troublesome cracked fools admit,  
It has more Sense and Wit,  
Then still to blame that Act that must be done.  
If a good Husband should discover  
His Lady's Lover  
He ne'er would make a word of it,  
'Twould be most cursed scandalous  
To question what he does,  
Prove him a Clown, no Courtier, nor no Wit.  
No, he himself would their content procure,  
And never trouble their Amour,  
He lets her meet him when she will,  
And both of one another have their fill;  
He may his Lady then more easily  
Content and satisfy,  
For he alone he's sure can never do it,  
Should she but rigorously hold him to it.  
Thus he what e'er her carriage be  
Though he her visits and caresses see.  
Still obstinately blind, will nought discover,  
And though he sees, yet will not see a Lover.   
Our Galllant and the two Rival-Ladies being now together in the same Coach, your Royal Highness may easily conjecture, after so pleasant an adventure; that their conversation was not unpleasant, and that a great many fine things were spoken amongst them. Lycidas began to make them see their imprudence, and told them, if his address had not helped them out at a dead lift, their extravagance might have had very bad consequences; both the Ladies were of his opinion, and rendered him their hearty thanks for so high an obligation. And now they were in such a condition, that they could no longer conceal their affairs from one another, so that by the mediation of Lycidas, they were made very good friends again, and there passed between them the finest Raillery, but yet the most civil and innocent, about their Loves, that ever was heard. Cephisa told Zelotide of her jealousy, and Zelotide rallied on Cephisa for being content with her leave, and all this had so little harshness in it, and was so extremely and obliging, that two Rivals were never yet more fully reconciled than they.  

What marvels did ingenious Love then do?  
Love like the States could then admit of more,  
While the fair Prize was shared between the two.  
This was a wonder never seen before.  
The pains and pleasures they do both partake,  
And willingly their common chain endure.  
Friendship from Hate he did with ease procure  
That did at first their spirits captive make.  
Since in one common third they both agree,  
Let one the Lover of the other be.   
Before they came to Town, they very solemnly covenanted, the better to silence the impertinent Lampooners of the Town, and to cheat their Husbands the more dexterously, to part Lycidas betwixt them, as a good that was equally common to both of them. They moreover fully resolved and agreed to do all they possibly could, to hinder any third Lady from robbing them of so agreeable a Treasure. And that if through any Caprichio of his▪ he should favour the one more than the other, the aggrieved Lady should not make any public disturbance about it, and that all the Arms she should make use of to retrieve the fugitive, should be caresses and obligations, These condition thus formerly agreed on, were so advantageous for Lycidas, that he could not with reason refuse them, as really he did not. But assured his two Ladies, that he was very well satisfied with them, and swore he would never on his part violate the Articles.  
For some weeks the two Rivals, with the happy third person, the beloved Lycidas lived in very good intelligence, according to the conditions agreed upon in the last Treaty. The Ladies were infinitely happy, and thought themselves so too, but Lycidas began to surfeit on their goodness, and was presently cloyed With so much sweetness. This good intelligence of theirs plagued him most unmercifully, and at last he found by sad experience, that he might with less difficulty content his two Mistresses during their division, than now he had made them friends, These two handsome persons loved one another with as great a passion, as they hated each other formerly, they were never out of one another's company, and that former precaution of Lycidas', that he had before so scrupulously observed, and that the observance of so much, troubled him, became now useless and insignificant.  

Thus when the one spied with what gallantry,  
He did his Love unto her friend address,  
She never wished it less,  
But knew he'd make her happy by and by;  
When he exactly showed the same confer  
As much as to a glance or word on her,  
She never blamed her Rivals kisses  
Nor envied those more great and solid blisses  
Since by and by  
She the same Gallantry  
Must without diminution enjoy.   
This accurate kind of distributive justice was mighty troublesome to the too too much beloved Lycidas; and I easily persward myself▪ that as well stoned as he was of endearing caresses, (and truly, Sir, I believe few persons in France could vie with him) all his stock would have been soon exhausted, and he have been reduced to extreme beggary, and if there had not come an Order from his Majesty to change his Garrison, and lead his Regiment into a Citadel, upon the frontiers of picardy. How agreeable this Order was to Lycidas, that was now even tired and more than satiated with their amorous Delicates, your Royal Highness may easily conjecture; but the poor Ladies were struck dead with the dreadful news, all the Thunders in nature could not have so much disturbed their souls; but in fine, there was an absolute necessity for their enduring of it; the King must be obeyed, and they must lose their Lycidas. Lycidas went to take his farewell of them, when they were both together, and this sad farewell of his, cost the poor Ladies a multinude of Tears, and Lycidas shed some too, though I believe, out of a very different consideration, and they were only Tears of joy for the recovery of his liberty, and his disingagement from so troublesome a happiness, while his sad Mistresses wept most excessively, and cared not to preserve the glories of their bright Circles, when the only Man they esteemed in the world had deserted them, and they could see nothing now worth the captivating: They entreated him to honour them with a visit as soon as possibly he could, and to return the same Lycidas to their embraces, that he was with that same sprightly Air, and Gaiety of his, and above all, with that ardent passion (for so they called it) he was pleased to have for them. Lycidas promised them most liberally, all they could desire, but I can assure your Royal Highness, that to this moment he never performed a word of these his promises, and it is now above nine months since he left them. He himself was pleased to tell me this story, and withal he assured me, that there were very handsome and courtly Officers in that Regiment that came to relieve them, and persons that without doubt were capable to undertake any amorous adventure. As soon as they have changed their Garrison, I do not question but some one or other among them will bring us more news of Zelotide, and her extravagant Jealousy.  
And now, Sir, I shall own the ambition, to say, I hope as well as wish, that my Zelotide, with all her faults, may have the happiness to please your Royal Highness, which if I shall be once assured of, my Muse stirred up by so glorious an encouragement, and so brave a success, shall still continue in her design of diverting your Royal Highness. Our French Gallantries are so frequent and usual, that I shall never want a subject for Stories of this nature, and they always are in themselves so pleasant and agreeable, that they can't choose but take, if the Historian spoils not their native graces. What an Honour shall I be blessed with, if this foolery of mine shall prove fortunate enough to please your Royal Highness! and what an infinite joy should I resent, if my Pen at your Commands were employed in writing a more serious History! Could I be the happy eye-witness of so glorious a life as yours, and be then Commanded to transmit it to posterity, adorned with all its noble circumstances, I persuade myself, Sir, that so brave a Subject would inspire me with new flights, and that my style advanced and lifted up with the Dignity of so great a Subject, would never flag, but keep up its excellence with an equal force continually. If this wish, Sir, be rash and foolish, as with a blush I cannot but avow it is, I humbly beg your Royal Highness will be pleased to pardon it, and impute it to my Zeal for your Royal Highness' service, and to permit my Muses to confer something to your divertisement, and vouchsafe me the glory to tell all the world, that I am,  
Sir, Your R. Highness' Most Humble, and Obedient Servant, LE PAYS.