A LETTER From a Friend in LONDON, To Another at SALAMANCA.  
SIR,  
YOu may Remember the last year, and I think in the time of the Dog days I gave you an Account as per Advice, how our Affairs stood here in England, and that the whole Rise and Texture of them were from a certain Person, who said he was a Doctor in Divinity, and took his Degree at Salamanca, which obliged me to Write to you to know if that Assertion were Truth or not, because in other matters he has been suspected. I than gave you the Description of him Inside and Out, I told you he was Sanguinous, Bold, and Passionate, qualifications Dissonant to his Coat and Character; and you in Return told me that you had made full Inquiry, if ever such a Person had at any time heretofore Resided amongst you, or taken any Degree or Order, but could find none that ever knew or heard of him; to which I Concurred, and so I do still for many Reasons more than what you gave me. Now God be praised we have another Face to what the last year wore, the Angry Wasps are now catched in their own Honey, you told me that the English were all Ears and no Eyes, but now they are all Eyes and no Ears; had you but seen how near Destruction that Doctor I mention had brought us to, you could not have been less Mad than he himself was, when he heard that his Patron the Sheriff would not keep House; for 'tis Reported that a Nine-penny Ordinary here is better than the best University Commons in Sallamanca, yet thus much I must needs say in praise of that never to be forgotten Prelate, tho' your University scorns to own him, that if he Retrieved us from the Jaws of the Fox of Rome he did not better our Safety by it, but left us to be Dovoured by the Wolf of Fanaticism. We have a Multitude of other Doctors sprung up since the State was Sick, not Prelates, but Physicians of the State, mere Quacks there's Dr. Grig a Pismire, Dr. Lambs-wool one of Aesop's Race; in short we are so Diseased, every Country has almost a Doctor, here's Dr. Kent, Dr. Essex, Dr. Huntingdon, Dr. Grace: Dr. Arm-strong he is for Monmouth-shire, and such a multitude more, it would put a man out of Breath to name them. All these are Physicians for any Malady in Religion, Mind, or State, they have but one Remedy for all Diseases, Phlebotomy; they found the Cure infallible in 48, and would fain practise it de novo, not for Reputation but for Gain sake. Then to vend their Drugs the better they have their Zanies, one Hittringale, Janeway, joiner, Curtis, Care, cum multis aliis, whose names as soon as Mr. Kech can inform of, shall be Transmitted to you, in the mean time I beg the favour of you to acquaint me by the first opportunity, if any of these Empirics I have named were ever known to you at Salamanca, because there is a great deal lies upon that point. At Geneva I have heard some of them have been, and am very apt to believe it, for they have the very Cut, Mean, Habit and Cant, that Marshal the Geneva Bull Nye, and others had in the year 1641. A man would have thought there had been none of the Race left in the year 1660, but the are a mere Hydra the more you destroy, the more they improve, a mere Love' stain-Faction opposite to all Government, but where themselves are Pensioners, and yet would abuse all others for being such. O! there's no such Spawning-place in the World as under a sanctified Shed, which some Nickname a Meetinghouse, or Conventicle.  
Now Sir, it is strange to me that our Doctor of Salamanca should feed and herd with these of Geneva, for he, they say, is a brave Huffing Blustering Doctor, sitter to Fight the Lords Battle, than to say he has had his Conversation in the World, in simplicity and Godly sincerity. You would not know him from a Tory when he meets with a Plentiful Table and good Company, as that he has often done behind the Exchange as well as at Mile End, where he was Caressed with Dukes and Earls, but at the Expense of the poor Wappingers. And these Geneva Whigs are quite of another Kidney, they are Demure, Conscientious, Prick-eared Vermin, full of Hypocritical Sanctity in figure and appearance, but the Devil is as much a Protestant within; they will not Swear you an Oath for all the World, but swallow Thousands to serve a private Turn; They will not drink a Health for any Gain, yet scruple not to intoxicate themselves with Vinegar and Gall against the Government; tho' Justice and Equity is not where else so equally distributed: sure these are the true Genuine Issue of those men our Blessed Saviour mentioneth, that take Care to pay the Tithe of Mint and Cummin, but neglect the weightier Matters of the Law, Obedience to Powers, Rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, living in Charity with all men, & c. The Good King we live under suffers 'em to Keck at these things, knowing that by Nature they have squeamish Consciences, and can as ill digest Gospel Ordinances as human Laws. They are a sort of people that no part of the Universe produceth but this, they stumble at Straws in Government, but leap over Blocks of their own laying, they bawl against Grievances of their own Raising, they have so infinite a Veneration for God, that they daily perpetrate things directly opposite to his Laws, for instead of being the Instruments of Peace and Concord, they are the Engineers of Desolation and Ruin. Having now told you Sir, what they are, It Remains Requisite to tell you what they would be at; They would Reform the World if they could; for Reformation is their work, though God Himself hath Declared the Oeconomie, and Order of it good: And first they would begin with England, and what are their Instruments think you, but such a Miscellany of Heedless, Increditable Vermin, as the Eye of Man never beheld but that night the Pageant Called the Pope was burnt, the sight of which all wise Men, and good detested, as knowing such Popular sorts of Buffoolry would certainly Stigmatize the Nation with an everlasting Odium; for whatsoever bears the figure of that which is, or seems sacred ought not to be made Ridiculous.  
I forget not though they have Our houses of prayer was by the same incorporated Body of Protestant Reformers, turned into Stables and a Den for Thiefs; poor Women Excited from the Pulpit to Rob their Husbands to support the Godly against the (so called) wicked, and a thousand Villainies besides. And notwithstanding all their Attempts have hitherto been blasted with those of Rome; such an Abhorrance has God Almighty to the Machinations of Evil, yet they are at work still with the Prince of Darkness their Coadjutor, but it is an Egyptian work, It is making Brick without Straw, when the Taskmasters grow faint well may the Labourers do so, and we shall all see it meet with a Babylonïsh Conclusion. Such little Artifices, such Paltry Intrigues they use; to keep the Malcontent in heart; that such a thing as Oates hangs its head and withers. I could not choose but smile to see it intimated the other day in our Impartial Intelligence, that because it was falsely Reported the Address to his Majesty was made by all the Apprentices of London, there would be a Petition suddenly Signed by the far greater number for the calling of a Parliament in opposition to the other Loyal Youths. Now what does this purport, or why should it be suggested, but to give the Country to understand that the Apprentices of London are divided upon the point of Loyalty, and to render us Ridiculous abroad as well as to one another, to think his Majesty should adhear to the Advice of a Company of poor Novices, who have been bred by their Shismatick Masters without the Pale of the Church, and know no more than their Manual Occupations (if that) and to carry on a Meeting day, a two handed Bible under their Arm, sooner than to the Petition of the Lord Mayor, and Common-Hall to the ame purpose: I confess I was struck with pity to see a little stapling the other day come Crying into a Tavern in Cheapside for his Petition, which he had a little before brought thither for the Vinegar Drawer to sign (the other drawers Refusing it) and I know not how it came to be misplaced and lost; the Boy Roa'd out and said he was undone, his Master would beat him and turn him away for losing his Petition, but there was no Remedy for him, for as I understand the Cook stole it for the bottom of a Tart: However I told the Boy where he might have more (to wit) at the George in Iron Monger-Lane, where thirteen to the dozen of these hopeful Youths meet every night to carry on the great work of Petitioning, and have their Daily Exhibition of half a Crown a piece. Nay I know all, and it will out: Their Actions are as Conspicuous as their Hypocrisy, saying one thing and meaning another; but I blame not them more than I do their Pastors, that cheat the poor Credulous Sheep of their due sustenance, give them Husks and Chaff instead of Gospel Truth. Read but these books of theirs and see what they contain. A Cat may look upon a King, A Pea to stop the Issue of sin, The Seaman's Compass Spiritualised, The Marrowbone of Grace and thousands more, than tell me who are the greatest Prevaricators, your Jesuits, or Ours.  
I intent to dine with these Petitioners, for I hear their Masters are to treat them with Stags at Weavers-Hall, and the Horns are to be nailed up in Memorial of the Entertainment, to out do the Loyal Apprentices who had but Fallow-Dear. Would it not make any man laugh to see these Gnats buzz about the light of sense, sing their Wings, and lose all motion after it? Who can pity those that piss against the Wind and thereby put their Eyes out? Tho our Intelligencers make it their business to deceive the Foolish and the Ignorant with a belief that this Petition will be Signed by the Major part of the Apprentices of London, I do aver and assure you, and all your part of the World, that the Address which was presented by the Loyal Youths were by them ascertained to his Majesty to be subscribed by above 20000, of the best sort and condition that this great City in their quality affords, who do all Unanimously Renounce any consent of Heart or Hand they have to any such Petition, and look upon it as a thing rather Deserving their Scorn that Aprobation. And all the harm I wish Mr. Curtis for his false information is that he may never see them Mustered.  
Sir, I have been troublesome to you beyond Measure; but as I ought, I beg your Pardon; this had come to you by our penny Post, for they say here it is Enlarging itself all over the World, but that there are such notorious Rogueries conveyed under that Covert by Lovers of their Country, that I rather thought fit to Print mine before hand, and then it's no matter what Post brought it you.  
I Remain SIR, Yours & c. From Hedg-Lane near his Grate the D. of M. Millimo Trillimo Quillimo.   

London, Printed for J. C. 1681.