A LETTER FROM NO BODY In the CITY, TO NO BODY In the COUNTRY.  
Published at the Importunity of NO BODY.  
LONDON, Printed for SOMEBODY, 1679.   

Dear Brother,  
IT hath been thought an old Blot in our Escutcheon, a Reproach to our Name and Family, that we are all not only averse from good Offices, but do all the ill ones, all the mischief done by others, who for Reasons best known to themselves, walk in an invisible Cloak, and force one of us to own whatever they are ashamed to be seen in themselves. They clip the King's English, Truth▪ Coin most false Reports, and malicious Forgeries, writ Seditious Pamphlets, affront Government, cast Dirt upon Religion, mock God himself, Rob Men of their Goods, or their good Name, (the far greater Treasure) and all this to gratify and gull a many-headed Beast called the Vulgar, that is ever ready to be rid by, and believe them, (provided always, and be it further Enacted, that they don't say True) and then father all their Villainies upon us; for if you make equiry for the Author, and his Complices, the guilty wretches cry out with one Voice, Nobody did it. I should be endless, and swell my Letter into a Volume, if I should go about to enumerate all the wrongs they have done, do daily, and will ever do us to the end of the Chapter: for there is no manner of Harm or Roguery acted throughout the year, between Dover in Kent, and the Town of Berwick upon tweed (to go no farther) be it of the First, Second, Third, or Thirtieth Rate, from Killing a Man to crushing a Worm, from Firing a Town to Breaking a Venice Glass, or cracking a China Dish, 〈…〉 faulty 〈◊〉 it off from themselves (if possible) and upon Inquest, Nobody is found Guilty: nay the World is come to that pass of late that they are not content to slander, and lay all their own faults upon us, that are as innocent as the Child unborn, but they insolently make Taunts and Proverbs of us into the Bargain; and when they have a mind to affright their Children, they cry Nobody comes, as if we were a kind of Gorgous, or Devils: and upon every turn they are ready to say, that which is Every-Bodies work, is Nobodies work, though never so much against their own consciences, never so palpable a contradiction; for themselves know that that Family is no more Related to us, than we are to the Pope of Rome. I must confess there was once a sober Moral of that saying, before they abused and wrested it to ill works, when it was intended for good only▪ for to our Honour and their Shame it was spoke at first, to signify that Nobody did that good which Every-Body jointly or Severally were obliged to do, but did it not. But waving all lesser instances of their injurious Malice, my chief Business at present is to give you to understand, that they boggle not now to charge us with the highest Crimes imaginable, no less than Murder in cold Blood, and unheard of Treason. You can't be ignorant, for all Europe rings of the Bloody death, and real Tragedy of that Loyal Knight St. E. G. such a frightful spectacle that the Son was ashamed to behold, (for he put on his Sabios and Sackeloth here not long after;) not, nor of that he●●●● Plot, and accursed Conspiracy against the Person and Government of His Majesty of Great Britain, contrived, no doubt, by the two Old Enemies of Monarchy and Mankind. And yet the impudent Actors would fain lay them both at our door; for being brought up by a lying Catechism, they make not one true answer, but deny the whole fact to their last Breath, being trapan'd into a belief they are Absolved in Heaven, for Damning themselves solemnly upon Earth. And all this holy cheat is out of spite to us, to make the Credulous World think that Nobody was in the Murder, and Nobody in the Plot. Now I appeal to Caesar, and all his loyal Subjects, whether Honest Men or Knaves, the Innocent or the Guilty aught to be sooner credited? whether his Holiness himself should be believed when he tells them any thing they know to be false, or Impossible? let them search all the Annals and Chronicles that ever were extant, from the first year of the Reign of Adam, the first of Monarches, to this very day, and if they can produce one single instance that Nobody was over Accused, Arraigned, Condemned, and Executed according to Law for Killing a Man: or that any of our Blood was ever tainted, and impeached of high Treason against so much as a King of Faeiries, I will give them this and all the Causes in Westminster-Hall, and be their Bondman for ever. Whereas they all know, if they would speak out, that these have been the constant practices of Somebody of the Race of Cain and his successers down to Sixtus Quintus, etc. 'Twas Somebody in Jury that Crucified King JESUS: Somebody in England that Murdered King Charles the First; and though there was this difference between them; that the former owned no King but Caesar (looking upon this Pretender as one of another World) whereas the latter fall foul upon Caeser himself, (it happening then to be an extraordinary Leap-year, which sets Subjects above their Prince;) yet they both agreed in this Third: Both confessed the Fact, Both denied the fault. These were modest in comparison to the present Tribe of Aequivocators, who make nothing to disown and abjure both Fault and Fact in the same unhallowed breath, in spite of all that clear evidence deposed against them by Somebody of their own Gang; but let them gorge themselves with never so many Oaths of Secrecy, let them bind up their abominable Lies never so close with Sacramental Cords, truth is great and generous, prevailing and inrresistable; it will be hid no longer, but like the Morning Sun, search into the darkest corners and caverns, and bring the most abstruse Forgeries and deep-laid Villainies to Light. Murder will out at last; the innocent Ghost sometimes appears to tell it, when they guilty Tongue will not discover it, a Sacred Padlock being hung upon it, called the Seal of Confession: Treasons kept never so private, though under as many Locks and Keys as Somebody wears Crowns, shall break out by force, and disclose themselves, be the Contrivers never so great and powerful; be the Roman Eagle itself in the Plot, neither Fear nor Favour can prevent or hinder some little Bird of the air from telling the matter, let all the arts and tricks be used which that shop of mischief, the Mystery of Jesuitism ever forged; let them raise a dust of false bruits to put out men's Eyes, that they may not discern one truth in such a crowd, yet the attempt will be vain and foolish at the long run, matter of fact will not be smothered or concealed for ever. Nor; Men grow weary now of being deceived and abused: they begin at length to believe their own Eyes, and though the Sorbon Doctors, the whole College of Jesuits, and Conclave of Pope and Cardinals to boot, should give the contrary under their respective Hands and Seals, yet they cannot persuade us here now, but Somebody has been convicted, and as fairly tucked up for Murdering the Knight aforesaid; and Some Body has already (for designing to Assassinate Charles the Second, and sell his Kingdoms and Subjects to utmost Vassalage) been Drawn, Hanged and Quartered, without any manner of Aequivocation, or mental reservation whatsoever; (on Catch his part at least;) and Somebody else is still in Limbo for the same Conspiracy, and may ere long be brought to ask their 12 Godfathers Blessing; the old fatal Tree being of late grown young again, and likely to bear more such fruit, such special Pippins in due Season. When that comes to pass the Pope shall know it; mean while he may be preparing his trinkets for more Canonization-work; for they say he pretends to an infinite power above other mortals: he can make Holy Idols of every contemptible chip of the Old-Block, and confer the order of Sainthood upon the veriest Rogue that lives and dies so. I'm sure his Saints are a troublesome kind to  to us: and if he keep them not at home for the future, or teach them better Doctrines, and Morals, he and they must expect what follows: mean while it is worth your Note, that he hath no power to make new Saints in our King's Dominions, and transfer them into his Bloody Calendar, without Catch his assistance at the Ceremony. I say, the Lord of the Triple Crown, with all his omnipotence, can do no more than an ordinary Man in this matter, till the Knight of the Triple Tree, hath prepared and cut out his work for him. But of all things else I can't forbear observing to you, that this universal grand Usurper is not content to Lord it over Kings, and Emperors, as if they were but his Tenants at will, and depose their Persons, and dispose of their Crowns, as his consecrated Spectacles see occasion, but he must needs encroach upon, and invade our highest Privileges and very Birthright, and assume to himself what belongs of right only to us, viz. an Exemption from all errors incident to humane nature; for let the School men and Ignatian Sophisters, wrangle till Doomsday to the contrary, Men in their wits cannot believe but Turk, and Pope, may and do err every day, whilst (only) Nobody is Infallible.  
Thus much I thought fit to write to you, concerning that same Grey Beard and his followers, partly for my own diversion, partly for our common Justification in matters of such moment; but chief because it is now a very critical hour; for the King hath this day summoned a new Parliament to advise with against that Old Enemy: and if they do not secure King and Kingdom against him; if they do not lay aside all odious names of Distinction, and join as one Man, to settle Church and State, out Law and Gospel, our Lives and Liberties, our present and future Peace; if they do not sound the bottom of that accursed Plot, encourage honest Loyal Subjects, and make all Traitors and Murderers, public Examples, Somebody must certainly be in the fault, though I name  
LONDON, March, 6. 1678. NOBODY.