LOVES SCHOOL OR A New merry Book of compliments. Being the Language of Love, fitted to the humours of all sorts, Sexes and Conditions: Made up of curious and pleasant Dialogues, and Discourses, eloquent and delicious Letters, Songs and Sonnets. With many other fine Fantacies, and pretty Conceits. woodcut portrait Once learn to Love the Lesson is most plain, And being learnt will near be lost again. Printed for W. Thackery at the Angel in Duck-lane, 1674. LOVES SCHOOL OR A New Book of compliments A complimental Dialogue between a young man and a maid, licenced by her Father to make her own choice of a Husband. woodcut of couple Man. NOw Lady your Fathers goodness hath left you to yourself: I the admirer of your virtue, present my best affections. Then save that treasure whose life dependeth upon you, to whom my heart presents its first devotion and in a holy flamme remains a sacrifice till you accept of it. Maid. I should prove myself unjust, in neglect of one that nobly loves me, therefore that affection I may bestow, I were ungrateful should I not present it. Man. May I become a scorn of time, and all mens hate pursue me, when I prove so foul, as to give you occasion to call back your love. Maid. Cease to use hasty protestations, I assure myself the pureness of your soul i● without spot and whilst you so continue, I shall think myself happy in such a choice. Man. Then let me flee into your bosom and on your lips confirm my happiness. Maid. Fie fie leave for shane, I estéem not golden language, because itis seldom bestowed on man but to guild over a copper soul within. Man. Can you be so cruel as to déem my language feigned? Far be it from me to speak a word should displease you. Maid. Well? more Oratory would but bring the rest into suspicion, let it suffice I love you, Farewell. Man. Farewell excellent mistress. A constant heart within a womans breast, Is Ophir gold within an Ivory chest, Then happy sure am I and blessed, For thou hast such a heart in such a breast. Another between Anthony and Constance. stock image of kissing couple and Cupid Ant. GOOD m●rrow swee● Constance see here what I have b●ough● thee from the Exchange. Con What mean you s●● by th●s? Ant. Guess that by t●e circumstance here is a ring, wear it for my sake: twenty ange●s, pocket them you fool: Come, I know thou art a Maid; say nay and take them. Con. Sir fasten I beseech you no more o● me, then at ease I may shake off: Your gifts I reverence, but refuse: Pray tell me why make you so many errands hither, sand so many Letters, fasten so many favours on me: whats your meaning in it. Ant. Hark in thy ear, i'le tell thee, is it p●ssible so soft a body should have so hard a sou●, nay now ● know my pennance, you will b● angry and revile me for tempting your modesty, a fig for this modesty, it hinders many a good m●n from many a good turn, and that is all the good it doth, but if thou ●newest but h●w I love thee thou would be far more tracta●le. Con. Sir, if you love me as you say, s●●● me the fruit thereof. Anth: The stock I can, the fruit thou must see hereafter. Con. Can I believe you love me, when you seek the shipwreck of mine honour. Anth. Honour, there is another word to flap in a mans mouth, why should you and I stand so much on our honor, that were neither of us yet right worshipful. Con. Sir, I am sorry I have lent you so large an ear to so bad a discourse, and I protest after this hour never to do the like: and since I see your rudeness finds no limits, i'le leave you. Ant. No Constance but thou shalt not. Con. Then keep your tongue in more moderate bounds. Ant. I will as I am virtuous I will, thou hast my heart here already, here in my hand. Con. But in what way sir, Ant. In the way of marriage, in the way o●… honesty, I hope thou art a Maid. Con. Yea sir, and I accept it, in exchange o●… this you shall have my heart. Ant. A bargain & here is earnest on thy lips Look lovers look, with passion see. If that any such there be: As there cannot but be such, Who do feel this noble touch; C●y aloud so rare a thing, That all the hills and dales do ring. A humorous conceited Fellow meeting an old but painted Gentlewoman. stock image of kissing couple and Cupid SAve thee sweet parcel of paint, You come from the oil shop now. Gent. How sirrah, from whence Man. Why from your scurvyfac'd physic, To behold the● not painted were a miracle. Gent. You are a foolish fellow; call you this pain●ing; Man. No no, but you call it caréening of an old morphewed Lady, there is rough cast phrase to your Plaistriock. farewell. Gent. Now the curse of Cuckol●s light on thee; A description of a matchless Beauty. HEr hair like Hemlocks careless fall, To deck her amorous eyes withall; Her curious Forehead well doth show Where Carbuncles in number grow: But the beauty of her Nose, Would fright a man out of his clothes: And the pale brightness of her lips, Doth force the Sun to an eclipse: Her Cheeks of fat and foggy stuff, Like the running dropsy swell and puff: Her precious Neck and Breast display Her skins antiquity; for they Like a dried dunghill chop and break, Until her Snout begins to leak: Her parched Fists defy the Sun, For all the malice he hath done Can't change her hid, nor any slain Corrupt it for its died in grain, Her spacious Belly and her Waste Have grease sufficiently to baste A Herd of Swine, they have such store, A Shambles cannot purchase more: A pound of pudding cannot suffice Her Gut, which is of three ell size. Her Thighs like to Colossus seem Proportioned to her bodies teem: But some that have her hoofs espi'd, For fear the fools fell down and did. Yet all this while I have forgot Her tongue as still as a Cannon shot: All parts of her I can't display, The roast unseen the Devil ma●, She is the wonder of our age, Nor lacks she ought but a large Cage, The Resolved Lover. WHat care I though she be fair Hair, snow like hand, or Sun like eye, If in that beauty I not share, Were she deformed what care I, What care I though she be foul, Hair, swarthy-head, or sun-burnt eye, So long as I enjoy her soul, Let her be so, yet what care I, Be she fair, or foul, or either, Or made up of both together; Be her Hart mine, hair, hand or eye Be what it will, why what care I. A Wooer sending his Mistris a pair of white fringed Gloves. WHen on your white hands these Gloves you draw Remember Cupid and his spotless Law? How happy are the skins that may at pleasure Kiss your white hand & rifles all loves treasure But they must be that thing compelled to do But know bright fair one, when my task is don You shall not need like these to draw me on. A Song in praise of women. ARe Women fair! Yes wondrous fair to see too, Are Women sweet? Yea wondrous sweet they be too. Are Women Saints? No Saints nor yet no Devils. Are women good, not good, but needful evils, So Angel-like, that Devils do not doubt them, So needful evils, few can live without them. Are women proud, yea passing proud and prise them. Are women kind, yea wondrous kind, and please them, The Beggars Song. BRight shines the sun, pla● Beggar play, Here's scraps enough to serve's a day, What noise of Viols is so sweet, as when our merry Clappers ring, What mirth doth want when beggars meet, a beggars life is for a King. Eat drink and play, sleep when we list, Go where we will so stocks be mist, The world is ours and ours alone. for we alone have world at will. We purchase not, all is our own, both fi●lds and streets we Beggars fill, Nor care to get, nor care to keep, Doth ever break a Beggars sleep, A hundred herd of bla●k and white, upon our Downs securely feed: If any dare his Master bite, he dies therefore as sure as Creed. Thus Beggars Lord it as they please, And none but beggars live at ease. A person to his Mistris. My Person is Divine, my parsonage fat and fair Then let us join in love, and make a loving Pair. Her Answer. Your Person is Divine, your Parsonage during life, But if the person die, pray where's the Parsons wife. A young Gentleman fallen in love with a fair Lady. stock image of man in cape Gent. ALl hail the modle of divine perfections, may al the blessings heaven affords shower down on your head: vouchsafe to cast on favourable look upon a creature wholly devoted to your service Lady. Pardon sir, a womans weakness if she takes the boldness to say her shallow capacity cannot apprehended the height of your Oratory yet I must render thanks for your wishes, and wish I could be as thankful to wish you in an equal affection: But since affection cannot be forced, you must pardon me, if I say I cannot love. Gent. Not love heavens forbid that so great cruelty should reside in so fair a creature: let not such harsh speeches proceed from so sweet a ●outh, unless it be out of m●iden bashfulness whose strongest negatives do affirm a grant: such I hope and wish i● your denial. Lady. I must confess sir, your thoughts I can't hinder, yet would gladly persuade you to believe the truth, that my denial is un●e●gned h●wever were I but assu●ed of the reallit● of your affect●on, I might perhaps meet your lo●e with an eq●al a burning. Gent. Part on sweet soul, my interrupting you: if my love be not real let me be an object of all mens scorn, and let the Heavens( as a j●st revenge of my dissembling) shower down on me their most horrid plagues; but if it be love, chast and real love, let our souls meet in reciprocal affections, and be imparadiced into ●… ruition of each other. Lady. As far as a Virgins modesty will permit her: hereafter I shall be ever ready to ●… ccomplish your desires, and obey your commands, in the mean time be confident that I ●… m entirely yours. But time calls me away. All happiness attend you. A Letter to request Love of a Gentlewoman. COnsidering with myself excellent Lady, the many virtues Nature hath in a superbundant measure adorned you: and weighing he insufficiency of any service I can do you; ●… y trembling hand is scearce able to hold the ●… en, and my stammering tongue dare hardly ex●… ress what my afflicted heart desireth to mani●… est to you; yet love who holds in his domini●… n my inflamed heart, forceth me to lay open to our sweetest self the secrets of my tormented breast. Excuse then I humbly beseech you, ●… hese humble lines that invisibly present to your ●… ir hands a more humble svit then can be expressed; I beseech you extend a gracious hand t●… stay a fainting soul from dying, that withou●… you is nothing: whose worth and remembranc●… gives me life, for I desire not to be where you●… being is not, it is that only betters my joy and makes me sensible of content, being n●… content equal to the enjoying such a companion of such great worth. To conclude, I shal●… expect the sentence of my life or death in you●… answer, and remain so perfectly yours that 〈…〉 can say nothing near it, when I say I am you most faithful, most affectiona●e, and most obedient Servant, J. D. Let one grief harm us, let one joy fill us, Let one love warm us, let one death kill us. Her Answer. SIr your high commendation of my worth 〈…〉 much beyond my desert, and the vehemen●… of your expressions causeth some admiratio●… in me: Be assured sir, if I find your deeds a●…swerable to your expressions, I doubt not but shall answer your expectations. In the me●… time be confident I much honour your gre●… worth, and shall ever remain yours, Most humbly in the infringeable bowels of affection, M. J. To woe a Scornful Maid. stock image of man on horseback Man. LEt not my love be misconstrued for presumption, if I once again do strive to warm your affections, by declaing unto you how much I honor your perfection, I pray you at last be merciful, and do not still reward my love with could disdain. Maid. Sir, I know men have powerful language, but I am none of those young ones: you are deceived if that you think your fine words can swéeten me up to betray myself: For my beauty I would not have you dote on it, it sufficeth me without commendations. Man. Should not I commend that all admire, I were to blame. Maid. Sir, wisemen admire nothing: For if I were beautiful, what is beauty: but a fading flower, blasted often with too much breathing on, & cannot grow safely on the stalk of virginity, for every one will be reaching to gather it: Pray excuse me if I prevent such a danger: for love and I are quiter fallen out. And if you would be more thrifty of your breath, you may spend it to better purposes: for you may intimate your desires, and make tedious discourses, but in a word, I shall never love you. Man. O say not so, you know not how much misery you will bring on me, for hitherto hope of your gentle disposition hath kept me alive: Maid. Sir, I hope you will not accuse me of your death, pray shake of this Love. Man. Whilst I live I will attend on you, and when I am dead Ile visit you in a dream, and tell you were a cruel Maid: To conclude, let one parting kiss seal my transport to the elysium, and I am gone. M. Sir since you are thus resolved i'le strive to give you a better answer at your next return Man. In confidence of that happiness I will presume to see you again. Love is all eyes admits of no delay, And through all hardship makes his way. A jesting discourse with a Maid. Man. COme will you be an enemy to yourself, & let modesty keep you still in the state of virginty; I come now to offer my service to help you out of this trouble. Maid. You are very kind, but I like my present condition. Man. alas poor ignorance: i'le tell thee till thou art married thou art but a cip●er, and art of no ac●ount. Maid. O sir you are deceived: for all t●o●e that die maids go to heaven. Man. You are deceived, their punishment is to led Apes in Hell. The Lovers Protestation. PRetty wanton, prithee stay, Did you not see my heart to day. Mark to know it, you shall find, Ever constant, true and kind. Wounds about it doth bear, Drops about it, here and there; In which wounds youl find a dart, Shot by you into my heart, If you see it do not blushy, The wounds are fresh, and blood will gush Into your face, and you'l be known, To covet more then is your own: sand it back, then let it be Sound, as when it came to thee. A Letter from a Lover to his Beloved. SWeet mistress, Your great worth and goodness, compels me to discover my heart in telling you, that I honour you more then all the world: look not on the expressions as only complimental, but take them as indeed they are the real expressions of my heart, declaring the earnest desire I have to love and serve you, if you shall judge me worthy of so great an honour: I expect only to know your mind, that so I may bear the character of your love and favour, & to think myself happy in being your most humble and most affectionate servant. F. L. Her Answer. SIr, I will be so presumptuous seeing you desire it, as to believe you love me, continue then in loving me as much as you please, for the truth of your affection will appear by your constant continuance in the same, and if you be constant I shall rather lose my life, then ●a●e my resolution, to live and die, your most humble and faithful servant, E. B. Dick-Downright of the Country, his wooing of Doll of the Dairy. NOw Love and Swéetheart, by me troth thou art: I tell thee true Doll, I love thee, Faith Wench I do, though thou art but plain I think thee very sine. Thy face looks brighter then the Moon, Then scoured Pewter or silver Spoon? Thy skin as white as Curds new prest, As soft as wool that is new dressed. Thou canst make cheese and ●utter, and I can Plough and Cart all day, and at ●ig●t we can have a cup of brown Ale and be merry: come Wench say thou lovest me, and I●e spea● to our person, and if my high-shooes come home on Saturday, we will be married on S●nday next. Dolls Answer. HOnest Dick, for your love I thank you: I think thou art one of the honestest Fellows in the Town, and thou shalt be my Love and sweet heart, and i'll tell the true Dick, I love thee, and here is vorty good shilling, you shall have it all, and if thou wilt speak to our person, Ile have a cup of Ale will make a Car speak against our wedding day, and i'le have a whole boul of milk to make us a posset, and that will be as brave as can be: I shall not sleep quiet till that day comes. Dick and Doll are soon agreed, And will be married with all speed. On Women. Women good like Angels are on earth, And of these Angels we have had a ●earth Therefore all you that have good wives, Respect and love them as your lives. A Sonnet in praise of Love. CUpid only do I love Him I worship still above, Happy's he that by the same Wisdom to himself doth gain: Worthy is he the bright of day, That doth loyal lo●e obey, Oh how sweet is that warm desire; To our sense no sweetness is Half so dulcid as is this, Blessed love without all crime, Two souls pleaseth at one time. Then doth love his lover right, When his love he doth requited, Of two souls he makes but one, In two bodies all alone. Love more happy cannot be, Then when we a loving couple see Pleasure none upon the ground, Like to love is to be found, Pleasures pass as transitory, But love doth still remain in glory. A Sonnet. LOve is a sickne●s full of woes, All remedies refusing, A plant that with most cutting grows, Most barren with best using; why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies, If not enjoyed it sighthing cries, high ho. Love is a torment of the mind, A Tempest everlasting. And Jove hath made it a kind, Not well, not full nor fasting, why so? More we enjoy it, more it dies, If not enjoyed it sighthing cries, high ho. The young mans song in praise of his Mistris. I Have a Mistress for perfection rare, In all mens eyes, but in my thoughts fair, she is a modle of divine perfe●tions, Fortunes darling natures wonder, She is the sweetest of all sweet complexions, And of sure joys the founder; In whose looks are blessings three, Beauty, Love, and Modesty; She is the only jewel I desire, I can but wonder at her beauty; She is the Lady I admire. To whom I owe submissive duty: Her modest comely shape it so exceeds. That unto her fair Roses seem but weeds; Fairest to your praise, I do affirm and tell, Some may come near, few match, but none excel shone ap Morgan Shentilman of Wales, his wooing an English Sweet-heart. MOdest, shentle, and fair one, her is pold to to tell her, her loves her, & her was 'bout ●o speak her love, put her was fear, cause he was welch-man, that her would slight her words and therefore her was think good to wrap her love in a letter, and her was pray her to take no exception for her countries sake; for her was shentilman porn and her was take her ●ettigr●e from King Prute, arthur and Cadwaller was her none cousins, and were as good men as and are: tis true, her was wear Sherking of seiz●, but her ha● store of Goats milk, cousbobby, ●éeks and O●yon, which if her would sell, would bay he silks: and her has store of Kid and Co●t, and great Co●●s ●nother, Runt and C●●●, and if her once but taste her Welch-mut●on, her w●ll sw●●● her English sheeps not worth a bu●●●n, a●●●●erefore if her will not p●●● her pa●●, 〈…〉 shall shad●e her soul, was ●●●ng h●r o●●●her was. Her Answer. GOd Mr. shone ap Morgan trouble not yourself, but keep your wind to cool your porridge: for I am confirmed that a welcshman can love this or that, or any woman, let her say what her will, itis but the rising of her welsh blood: for her fine things her has in Wales, I will not believe her for all her fine tales, for if I should believe and come there, I should see nothing but barren mountains, and a few goats on them, which is all the treasures her has; and therefore I am resolved not to love her at all; and therefore let her trouble her self no more, for by St. Taffie I will not love her. The Welchmans Reply. HOw? not love her? then he swears by cats-s●iter-a-nails her ●ill vie, and her will pring her out of all her wits: and because her will take no pitty on her, put swears by St. Taffie her will not love her, ●her is dead, her is dead. Stay Reader stay, more you shall know, Love killed this man, no more then so. Her Epitaph: HEre lies puried under these stones. shone ap Morgan, ap Shing up Shones; Her lived in Love till new years tide, But her was not loved and so her died. Reader, I am sure thou wilt not repent thee, And I am happy to content thee: stock image of kissing couple and cupid stock image of lady pointing stock image of man on horseback FINIS.