GOD'S Wonderful MERCY IN THE MOUNT of woeful EXTREMITY. OR, The Recovered Captive, BEING A plain Relation of God's unspeakable goodness in rescuing one of the meanest of his flock from the paw of the roaring Lion, and pangs of unconceivable horror through long and strong temptations and spiritual desertions.  
Published 

1. For the encouragement of poor distressed consciences, worried with temptations, and almost quite wearied with waiting.  
2. For a caution to secure sinners, lest they also come into such or sorer torment.  
3. For a call of all (in whose hearts are the ways of God) to bear a part in the high praises of him whose wonders are in the deep.    
By Charles Langford.  
I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever,  Ps. 89.1.17. 
Knowing the terrors of the Lord we persuade men,  1 Cor. 5.11. 
Thou hast turnea for me,  Ps. 30.11.12. 
London, Printed for Anna Brewster at the Golden bellows in Forestreet at Moor-lan●●end. 1672.   

To the Reader,  
THe ensuing Narrative is intended for the good of all, and therefore may well expect freedom from the scornful censures of any: But 'tis primarily published for the benefit of such who are apt to think (feeling the weight of their own sin, as of an heavy burden, Psal. ●8. 4. or the wounds of their own Spirit, made by the Arrows of the Almighty, sent ●rom the Devils bow, and poisoned so that ●hey become fiery darts drinking up the spirit, Job 6.4.) that never any man was in ●uch a case as they, none ever went so far ●nto the Valley of the shadow of death and returned alive, as they are gone, for the ●roken in Spirit, those whom the terrors ●f God have (to use Hemans words) distrac●d and cut off, Ps. 88.15.16. for the good of these are the ensuing pages penned, and therefore from these may they expect the cho●●est entertainment, 'tis no small favour Heaven shows, that (besides those fixed monuments of mercy, erected in the word o● truth, such as David, Job, He●●an, yea and the blessed Jesus, all which as they were plunged in the depths of Terrors, so were they delivered from their fears) every ag● of the Church should have some living test moneys of deep calling unto deep, and that as Satan's malice, so God's mercy endureth for ever, that some have deep gashes made upon their peace, and those unhealed so long till hope seemeth to be cut off, and t●e cu●ed at the last, I am sure will be thy me●cy, O thou afflicted, tossed with Tempest and not comforted, however others look upon it.  
Examples in this, as in other cases make the deepest impression; the understanding, here, (being ever annoyed by the loud and hasty clamours of a misgiving conscience) may not be able to make so long a stand, as to hear all that the tongue of the Learned have to say for the relief of their weary Souls, the judgement must needs be weak, when passions are strong. Now, for such a one to hear that others hunted by the terrors of the Almighty set in array against them to the very brink of desperation, and hope (even just ready to quit the field) have yet through the mercy of the Most High put Satan to flight, won the day, recovered their peace, and lived in the sweet possession of the Spirit of a sound mind, and all this after many a doubtful combat, and in a time they looked not for it. I say to hear of this exemplefyed in the case of others will, at least, do thus much service for tottering spirits as to persuade not to make too much hast to run away to hid themselves, and that yet there is hope in Israel concerning this thing.  
If in every circumstance of the following Narrative thou find not thyself concerned, yet thou wilt in many (if thou be one that haste had any experience of the Spirit of Bondage) yea and in the main of all, thou art troubled in Spirit, thy everlasting welfare fare stands bleeding, thy hope is giving up the Ghost, blasphemous injections (the very spirit and humour of hopeless damned Souls) haunt and affrighten thy wracked mind, thy flesh trembleth for fear of God's wrathful Judgements, all his waves and his billows pass over thee, thou art weary of thy life, and yet tormented at the thoughts of death; this was the case of the Author of these following lines, 'tis hard to conceive a more dangerous condition, or that the God of his Salvation should suffer his Faithfulness to thee to fail. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage! Let Satan's suggestions be what they will, hold this for a certain truth, established in the very heavens, and irreversible by the gates of Hell, Blessed are all they that wait for him, Isaiah 30.18▪  
That any should look upon discourses of this kind, as matter of scorn and reproachful contempt, is matter of sorrow and lamentation, that the common enemy to the Race of Adam should find so much Friendship and Folly in the hearts of men, yet, such there are, men that side with their greatest Foe, accounting all experiences of this sort as mere Fictions, and the issue of a melancholy brain. But poor Souls, the hour of trembling will come to you at last, when you have slept out your sleep upon the lap of lust, the Philistines will be upon you, and your pleasant dreams of security shall bring you to the King of Terrors, let the ensuing narrative be your preservative, happy, they can discern the vileness of sin and devices of Satan in the clear glass of another Man's Soul confounding terrors: one main end of this, is thy warning, if unhappily thou shalt despise it, and thy Faithful Monitor seem to thee as one that mocketh, it is no new thing, thus it was in the days of Lot, 
Gen. 19.14.  even those whose Office should oblige them to better things have been sometimes ignorant in the case of God's withdrawings, 
Cant. 5.2.  smiting and wounding and taking away the Veil, have been their work, when sympathising hath been their duty. However to be of the Family of Abraham, to inherit the blessing, is more than sufficient Armour against the persecuting scoffs of Ishmael.  
As for such as truly fear God 'tis hoped they will not be offended to see that done by any which is incumbent upon all, to declare the works of God with rejoicing and to tell what great things he hath done for our Souls, 
Mark 5.14.  is a Law shall stand in Force when the Heavens and Earth shall reel into a change, nor will they stumble at the plainness of delivery, all have not alike abilities to express themselves, 
Exod. 18.5.  gaudy paints of eloquence may sometimes be taken for Ornaments, but they are best put off when we have so nearly to do with God. Goat's Hair and badger's Skins, 
Exod. 25.45.  where there are no better, are a good offering for the Sanctuary. And to speak truly 'tis not in well set words and sentences, but in clear experiences true learning doth consist  
To say any thing of the Author is needless, read him, a man he is of long standing in profession, a Follower of God both up-hill and downhill for many years, one who hath not lived so ill as to have all men speak well of him, nor (common frailties excepted) as to deserve the contrary. If his zeal for God hath exposed him to the reproach of some, well may he bear it. He desires to let the World see nothing in him but his infirmities, the rest is God's, and not his. A man whom long diseases of Soul and many Paroxcisms or heights of distemper have annoyed, but not left by the great Physician. How he came at first to any sense of Religion in truth, and with how much difficulty (through the strong temptations of Satan) he attained to a comfortable hope of the love of God, what was the course taken by him for his relief, how Faith in the promises, and submission to all Gods deal were, and are to be exercised, are the chief things here spoken of. The Lord make it as profitable to thee in reading, as he testifies they were to him in the experiencing, who after many weak fits of Faith, and Faithfulness in weakness, rejoiceth in hope of the glory of God. That thou mayst be bettered by this publication, is the Authors design and the hearty prayer of   

To the Saints of the Most High God, especially the afflicted in Conscience, lying under sad desertions, and groaning for deliverance. Grace, Peace and Victory, be given to you from the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour,  
HAving received so glorious a mercy, as to be delivered from many delusions and temptations of Satan, under which I lay for many years, I look upon it as my great duty, to manifest Gods gracious deal with me to the Sons and Daughters of Men, and so much the rather do I thus judge because the ways of God to me have not been common or ordinary ways, they are but a few of God's Children (as the Author of the book entitled, 
Dr. Tho. Goodwin.  A Child of Light walking in darkness, witnesseth) whom their Father casts into the belly of Hell, deep Waters, where they feel no bottom, letting out Satan upon them, and the manifestation of his glorious grace in saving such to the utmost is the main end (one of them) he aimeth at in dealing thus with any, 'tis no wonder Satan should have an access to and converse with the spirits of men (and many times when they know it not) for he is a Spirit, or that with so much vigour and terror, his temptations, in times of desertion, should be accompanied, for by the evidence of God's word ana his own ways, 'tis certain that his work and business is to drink up and devour, his nature is not only that of a Roaring Lion for power and terror, but also of a subtle Serpent for policy and poison: his season and opportunity is when we are weakest and at the worst, and night and day doth he keep watch and ward for taking all the advantage that may be, if God (for needful ends) turns but his back upon his child, hides his face from him, forsakes him but for a little moment: the enemy waiteth at the door to break in as a mighty flood. If by Favour, Melancholy, or other bodily distempers, the natural spirits (which are the ●ursitors between the body and the Soul) are made uncapable of performing their Office aright; then is he sure to be up and doing; every affliction is an hour of temptation the dark is his delight now is the time for him to lay his delusions upon the fantasy, and to charge sin upon the Soul, when he findeth it most unable to resist and ready to embrace and believe it.  
To bring the Soul in to inextricable troubles is his design; to accomplish with more than conceivable policy, cruelty, and malice are set at work, for he is the red Dragon who hath all along traded in persecution of the woman and her seed, Christ and his Church.  
For the space of forty years or thereabouts hath it pleased the hand that took me out of my Mother's Womb to train me up, and lead me along in this uncomfortable Wilderness of temptation, though I cannot say that in all these years he hath left me to the violence of spiritual conflicts (for then the burden had been too heavy for flesh to stand under so long) yet must I needs say my clearest day all that time was but dark, and however I seemed to others in point of comfort outwardly, sure I am my soul enjoyed not her rest, nor could I ever say I was all that while any more than a Prisoner of hope, still subject unto bondage and not discharged of the debt, nor delivered from my fears. 'Twas but an hard shift I made to hold up my head when I was at best, my worst cannot be expressed, until now at last, that God for whom I w●ited in the way of his Judgements, and from whom were my expectations in the use of appointed means all this while, came and was found of me when I looked not for him, delivered me from my strong Enemy, set my Feet upon a Rock and established my go. The same God that was my stay in the day of calamity, is now my Glory and the lifter up of my head, he is my strength and song, and is now become my Salvation.  
Upon the whole I may truly say (as once Job said) I have heard of God by the hearing of the Ear, but now mine Eye hath seen him, now hath he made known himself to me by his sweet Spirit, and by the manifestation and operation of his glorious power in giving me deliverance, And I can say by experience more than ever that; now I know there is a God; so also, now I know there is a Devil, such have been the delusions; cursed injections of blasphemous thoughts, and dreadful temptations wherewith he hath endeavoured to fill my Soul till the day the Lord by his great power delivered me out of his hands that I have cause to know him, and to make him known as far as I am able to the World, which is the endeavour of this ensuing Relation.  
Every Child of God, I am persuaded, is somewhat acquainted with the wounds of conscience, but God (who best knows the frame of his people and what they can bear, and for what work they are intended) measures not to all alike. Some are made to sip, only, of the Cup of Trembling, while others are made to drink down larger draughts, every Soul hath his taste, To much as will serve to make an experiment of the evil and bitter nature of sin, but some have more than others, and though every man is apt to magnify his own miseries into a Non such, because the heart knows his own bitterness, and a wounded Conscience who can bear, yet without breach of modesty, I think I may bolaly affirm that few of the Sons of Men have been in greater danger, or more beholden to the Deliverer. To have God deserting a Soul, and permitting Satan to Rage and Rule so far that it believeth all his suggestions and is not able to believe the contrary, expecting nothing but the lowermost Hell. This was my condition, and when I have told you so though you might perceive something of my sad and wearisome Life, yet cannot the misery be expressed by me, nor conceived by you; a thousand worlds, had I been owner, would I have given for a Free Spirit, a heart enabled to shake off the meditating and pondering upon Hell torments as the things that methoughts; I should for ever dwell with Now I say when all this lay upon my Soul, and I expected no deliverance, then for the Lord my God to surprise and break in upon me with so glorious and unexpected a mercy who can but set forth the loving kindness of so gracious a God and Saviour.  
I may therefore boldly say to any poor Soul let his distress be never so great, yet if he have but so much faith as to believe the Scriptures and that Jesus is the Son of God, and died for sinners, though he hath no assurance for himself, no more hopes than I had not a spark of Grace in his own apprehension, 
Is. 50.10.  Yet let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay himself upon his God. Let him wait for the Lord will come. 
Is. 8.17.  And such a faith is sufficient for such a Soul in that condition:  
In my distress before my God gave me experience of Light, Love, and Salvation, I engaged by promise that if my God would give me deliverance I would declare to his Saints abroad what he had done for me, and that as Satan suggested to me before, that I should be a shame to Professors: so would I declare his wiles and devices and what a lying unclean and murdering Spirit he is, that in what I could, his designs of ruin against poor Souls might be frustrated, and the Lord having heard my vows, setting me at liberty a strong temptation fell upon me to pray that God would assist me in performance of them, nor were my prayers single or alone, I had the help of such as feared God about me, my body at that time was very much disordered.  
Yet he that prepared my heart to pray inclined his Ear to hear, enabling with speed and ease, to the wonder of some, to Write the ensuing discourse I here present to open view, with much hope, that the same hand that made it easy to me, will make it useful to many who may be troubled in Spirit. For the comfort of such, and the discovery of Satan's subtlety: the good of them, and hurt of none but Him, are the ends I have in publishing this experimental Relation, begging that the Lord would exalt his great and glorious Name in magnifying his Mercy to all Eternity, by dealing thus with many poor Souls, as he hath done with his poor servant.  
Charles Langford.   

The Captive delivered, Or a Relation of the great things which the Lord the mighty God of Heaven and Earth, did for his poor Servant C. L. in delivering him out of the midst of violent and dreadful temptations. April. 16. 1669. witnessing to his Soul the greatness of his mercy in the midst of his sins, and magnifying his freegrace in sealing it with the comfortable persuasion of his being one of Abraham's believing seed, and this when under great unworthiness and unbelief, all which he now desires in thankfulness, and according to his vows in the day of his distress to declare to the people of God, and to as many as shall read it.  

CHAP. I. Of the Original cause of all troubles, what share the Author had therein: Why seeing all men are by nature the children of wrath, do not all thus feel the weight of it, the particular occasion of his first awakening. Satan's design in it. God's overruling and turning it to good.  
When I consider the sad estate wherein all the sinful Sons of Adam lie, how (through the most righteous judgement of God for our wilful transgression of his holy Law, (which he gave for a rule and trial of our obedience) miserably they are deprived of a most blessed estate. God's Image and blessed presence, once had and enjoyed, and how dangerously depraved and swollen up into an enmity against God their Maker; their nature is: I am so far from wondering at the horror that sometimes here and there one is surprised withal, that I must confess 'tis a far greater wonder to me that any are found to live at ease. Dread and horror are the best fruit that can be had for eating of the forbidden tree. If mere justice ruled the world the thickets would be every man's habitation: Magor Missabib might be the fittest name for Adam's race, 
Jer. 20.3 fear round about.  now degenerated into a brood of vipers. 'Tis a wonder sin hath not found out and frighted the sinner upon earth, that caught him in and cast him out of Paradise. If it spared him not there, how should it pass him by here: if it turned him out of his walk, his most delightful walk with the God of bliss there, why hath it not tumbled him down into a bed of fire ●ere? sure I am sorrow, and distress of conscience is as much an attendant upon sin and guilt, as the shadow is of the body, as hear is of the fire, as dark shadows were of the night by this the children of the day are transformed into those of the night, and the heirs of God into haters of God, and children of wrath, and such are all men without exception in a natural condition.  
These considerations make it less to be wondered at I say, that any man should groan under the burden of sin which lies so heavy upon all; it being a far greater wonder, as I said before, that the just, holy, and righteous God should so long suspend the execution of the ancient sentence passed upon Adam and his posterity, or that any of the inhabitants of the earth, should not sear their dropping into Hell, and dread their danger.  
I, for my part, must (to the honour of my strong Redeemer) take to myself the guilt of that first transgression, and acknowledge that from the loins of the first Adam hath a venomous empoisoned nature been conveyed unto me. Let no man say or think that any part of my past misery sprung from any other fountain than this evil nature. I know that amidst the numberless number of Satan's artifices, this is one of his main engines, whereby he would keep poor captive souls from the ways of life and peace. He labours to bring up an evil report of such ways, representing religion as the great incending as well in the Consciences as in the Kingdoms of Men, and with as much confidence avers it as wicked Ahab did of the good Prophets that profession of the Gospel attended with its required strictness is the grand trouble of the world. 
1. Kings 18.17.  Insomuch that I think 'twould be no mistake should I affirm this for a certain truth. That Satan's furious attempts made most what, upon the inward peace of Gospel professions (who having escaped the pollutions that are in the world through lust, and committed the keeping of their souls into the hands of an able preserver) are not always raised by him in hope of bringing them back into their former bondage, or undoing their souls by desperation. But that he may stir up a greater dislike in the hearts of his Vassals to the ways of purity. Offences are the trade that Satan sets up and drives. The miseries of us are the mirth of him, But woe to him by whom they come, and woe to the world because of them. Let the Reader know for a certain truth, that however carnal hearts conceive of the way that is called Holy, branding it by the names of melancholy, mopish and m●d wisdom is justified of her Children, all her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace, 
Prov. 3.17.  carnal and sensual delights are not in the least to be compared with spiritual and divine, 
Ps. 46.4.  the River that makes glad the City of God is more deep more durable, more delightful; then the Egyptian Nilus; the waters of Siloam run but softly, the consolations of God found in the way of holy obedience make no great noise in the ears of common observers, who are meet strangers to such joys, but they are therefore the more deep and solid. My long experience hath taught me in the midst of all the intricacies of providence to hold this for a certain truth, that godliness never took away any man's peace, nor ungodliness never gave it▪ The closest conformity to the commands of God never did any man harm, nor did the pleasures of sin ever do any man good, the wise lord of all hath thought fit to train me up under many spiritual afflictions and sore temptations, I am now arrived at the borders of Death through age, of much of my part life may I truly say in the words of the distressed Psalmist, that in it my Soul hath been full of troubles, 
Ps 88.3.  by reason whereof my life hath oft drawn nigh to the grave, yet in the greatest of my extremities, have I ever seen a real-worth in holy strictness, such a worth have I seen in that; that I may truly say, not it, but Satan taking advantage of my want of it, was that which did me harm, the bitter cup of external, internal or eternal evils receiveth it. Fullness from an evil nature, a naughty heart, whoever is employed in the filling of it, the fountain for fetching of it is within ourselves; destruction when it cometh as a whirlwind, suddenly, surroundingly, and on every side, so that to determine from what particular point it blows may seem impossible, yet must it be granted that its engendering was in the deep and deadly Caverns of an earthly and an evil heart, whatever instrumentallity, Men or Devils have in the infliction of our troubles, our destructions are undeniably not from them, but from ourselves. Oh! then let none say or think that 'tis Religion, but irreligion; preciseness, but dissoluteness, drawing nigh unto, but departing away from, the living God, much reading, praying, hearing, searching the Scriptures, consorting with the godly, etc. But the contrary, have been the causes (though the other sometimes the occasions) of hellish horrors and disquietness of mind. 
Rom. 7.8.11.  Oh! no, no, 'tis sin that is the root of bitterness springing up into troubles? a sinful nature, a sinful life, or the least sinful omission, any one act of sin though never so small is enough to infuse that horror into the soul that all the pleasures of time shall never be able to claw off.  
Thus that sinful nature, which I brought along with me into the world, and by which (as soon as I had attained to my ripeness of years I began to manifest whose child I was bringing forth such fruits whereof I am ashamed: This I say was the root of all the bitterness I have hitherto tasted of, 'twas not too much preciseness, which the enemies of true Godliness falsely so call, that wrought this disturbance in me. For at the time when my troubles began I had neither affection to, nor acquaintance with; any other way of serving the God of heaven, than what was common carnal and external.  
Q. How then comes it to pass that the whole Earth, upon the matter lieth still, and is at quiet not troubled themselves with such strange kind of doubts, fears, and distractions of thoughts about their Eternal state as you speak of, nor troubling others with their complaint about them? Sure, coming too near the heels of Religion, is the cause of such fractions of the bones of inward peace, or else why should not others be thus perplexed?  
Ans. I answer that however the Objection is manifestly rooted in the minds of carnal men, who by reason of their fondness of their false peace, not willing to raise disturbances within themselves, like no worship of God save that which biteth not, but contrarily by't and devour such as do yet so false and ground less is this Objection that in few words I shall only say.  
1. That however 'tis true (de facto) that, most of those who engage in the ways of God meet with great troubles and distress of conscience at the first entrance, yet (de jure) no sort of men are more the sons of consolation than they.  
2. Such distresses are most needful: most profitable things, and such as commend the wa●es of God above all others. For consider.  
1. How else should the heart of man who (by nature) drinketh in iniquity as a thirsty man water, be put out of his seeming▪ delightful way of sinning, 'tis the way that Heaven hath pitched upon to save men from Hell, this to acquaint them with the bitterness of sin here.  
2. How else should the heart of a sinner be prepared to entertain the terms and tidings of a Saviour, Christ believed in, Christ relied upon, Christ owned and embraced and submitted unto, 
1 Tim. 3.16.  is one of the greatest mysteries of Godliness in all the world, and nothing prepareth the heart more to hearken to, and embrace the tidings, the tenders, and the terms of so sweet a name as Jesus is then spiritual distress souls weary and heavy laden, 
Mat. 11.28.  and none but such have to do, or will have to do with jesus Christ.  
3. How should the Law of God be found powerful to kill, or the Gospel of Christ powerful to quicken any other way.  
We read of Gods magnifying his word above all his name 'tis his aim, and delight to do so, he will have men to know his word to be a word of power, an instrument of life or death; a two edged sword, and therefore not to be jested with, and the ordinary way of effecting this, is, by raising the benumbed Souls of sinners from that natural Lethargy and carnal security that lieth upon their whole inward man, understanding, will, conscience, affections, the Soul, and all that is within the Soul of an unregenerate person standeth not in awe of divine precepts, promises, or threaten till awakened by divine power. God may speak once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not, until in a dream, in a vision of the night. when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed, than he openeth the ears of men and sealeth their instruction▪ Job. 33.14. etc. 'tis usually some rough dealing that is required to rouse the sinner out of his pleasant but false dreams of peace. Sometimes he is chastened with pain upon his bed, and the multitude of his bones with strong pains so that his life abhorreth bread, and his soul dainty meat. His flesh is consumed away that it cannot be s●on, and his bones that were not seen stick ou●, his Soul draws nigh to the Grave and his l●fe to the destroyers. Thus God ruineth and tortureth Sinners into the way of Life, & maketh room for the Messenger, the interpreter the One among a thousand to show unto Man his uprightness. verses 20.21, 22, 23. Mount Sinai's terrible thunderings did not more powerful make way for the reception of the Law, than the conviction of sin by the Law, doth for the embracement of the Gospel, and the embracement of it for the settlement of inward distractions.  
In a word. The wounds of conscience, plainly show not only the power of the Law by which sin is strengthened, armed, and enabled, to work death: but also the power of the Gospel in setting poor distressed Souls at freedom from The Law, Sin, and Death.  
3. 'Tis a most senseless imagination to judge any man's person or way to be the more excellent because less troublesome in it.  
By this crooked rule the unblushing forehead of an Harlot may pass for an hopeful sign of her future happiness, the Bedlam may boast of his better condition than others because he feels not those prickings of pins and needles which if others had they would cry out of. And yet  
4. How many instances have the records of time given us of the confounding terrors that wicked men on the sudden have been overwhelmed with? how oft may it be observed how God distributeth sorrow to such in dreadful measures, and how from the height of censual delights God casts them down into destruction how are they brought into desolation as in a moment? they are utterly consumed with terrors. Ps 73.18, 19 God hath appointed a day wherein he will make known his wrath upon all the vessels of wrath eminently. And this is called in Scripture, Rom. 25. The day, The great and terrible day of the Lord, The day of wrath. But alas how few fear this because 'tis future? the heart of man fears not wrath to come though no wrath like it. Things present affect most. And the Apostle hath told us why, because such are blind, and cannot see afar off. 2 Per. 1.9. But now let such remember, the stoutest siners have been unhorsed and perished even in the very way. God puts not off all to the great and last desires, he hath his petty fessions sometimes., some are tormented before their time. They fall into the hands of a loving ●od when they little thought of it. Job. 21.17. How oft is the Candle of the wicked put out. Gen. 4.14. Who would have thought that that heart of Cain which feared nothing, should so suddenly be smitten with the fear of every thing! Dan. 5.6? Or that Belshazzar who just now could boldly bid defiance to the God of Israel; should upon the first sight of what he understood not, be surprised with such an hellish fit of quaking? Ch. 4.32? Or that great Nebuchadn●zzar now feeding his fancy with the splend our of his own works; and swelling himself into a conceited Deity, should in the same hour, yea while the word was in his mouth became as a Rest? v. 37. How easily can God abase such as walk in pride? should the Lord commission our own thoughts against us no need of any other enemy to make us miserable, and this he hath often done, as in the cases already mentioned. Stories both sacred and profane afford us a large account of many more tragical overthrows of the enemies of holiness. And few ages pass without some drops of wrath imminently falling upon the heads of one sinner or other which (were we but wise to consider them) would fully inform us that Gods deal with his Saints and servants in desertion of comfort and permission of Satan to agonize them in this world. However it seem tedious and tiresome for a while, and they apt to speak, as once Job did, he teareth me in his wrath who eateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his teeth. Yet weighing in an equal Balance these deal of God with his Children, with those earfull cruptions of wrath that seize upon the ●ngodly, and it will soon appear, that the ways of God to his people are not severity but lenity, not fury, but mercy, tender mercy and loving kindness.  
Thus distress o● conscience is not so concomitant to profession of the Gospel (as the enemies thereof feign. Luke 15.7. but that sometimes it may be found among the jovial crew of unrighteous men needing no repentance, and whensoever it falleth upon such, it is much more lamentable than that which is let out upon poor, humble, bruised, obedient Sinners. Because when the Lord riseth up against the Souls of those that hate and forget him, he comes.  
1. With greater fury. Ps. 11.6. An horrible tempest is the portion of their cup. Is. 54.8▪ Now when he troubleth his Children for sin he hideth his face from them in wrath, but than it is but in a little wrath, Hab. 3 2. and his wrath makes him not at any time to forget his love, he can remember that in the midst of it still.  
2. With sewer advantages, there is less hope of such a ones recovery.  
Distresses of whatsoever sort are like violent purges to the body, preparatives must be had, or else a body full of humours and unaccustomed to such means is beset with dangers, who knows which way dreadful convictions of divine displeasure may drive the amazed and affrightened Soul? 'tis possible to God, but very improbable to man that he who hath hardened his own heart against God and his fear, and been forging arguments, and studying offences, and picking quarrels against the ways and worship of God, should ever take to those as his proper remedy in times of temptation. Satan will do all he can to keep up a dislike in such a One against those things that make for true peace, or if peradventure Satan be cast out of the outward conversation; and the man seems to recover his peace by a partial reformation, yet how truly hath our Lord set forth the doleful doom of such half begotten Christians. Mat. 12.33, 34, 35. The latter end of such is worse (for sin and sorrow) than their beginning, wounds skinned over will become ulcerous at last, the sting of the old Serpent (like that of the Tarantula) dispatcheth this kind of sinners into hell laughing.  
5. Moreover, the proper time of discovery is not yet come, judgement passing before the last act is ridiculous ●olly.  
Mark but the end of wicked men, patiently stay but a very little while; and tell me then what you think of all their pleasures. Fellow them to death or at the furthest to judgement, then will the blackness of their countenance, and the loudness of their howling cries confirm the truth of that passage; now, little thought of. Eccles. 8.12.13. Though a sinner do evil an hundred times and his days be prolonged, yet surely I know that it shall be well with them that fear God, which fear before him But it shall not be well with the wicked. He that seriously lays to heart the sure and sore miseries that come stealing on upon the sinful, sensual, merry world, Ez. 32. And how even they who have (Pharaoh like been stout hearted oppressors, and reproachers of the distressed remnant of Jacob, though they have caused their terror in the land of the living, are nevertheless gone down to hell and how heavy their iniquities ly● upon their bones, I say, he that observes these things and layeth them to heart will find there was a reason for Balaam; wish. Num. 3.10. L●● me die the death of the righteous, and my la●● end b● like to his. Heb. 11.24. And that Moses was 〈◊〉 child when he refused to be called the Son 〈◊〉 Pharoahs' Daughter, choosing rather to fuss●● affliction with the people of God, then to 〈◊〉 joy the pleasures o● sin for a season: esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches th● the treasures of Egypt, to rush upon the po●● of sufferings when a man may choose, to account pleasures to be no more than pressures, reproaches to be renown, and treasures to be but trash. Oh! what folly doth the world judge this to be? and yet such a fool was Moses, and so must he be, that would be wise, 'tis the highest wisdom to shun those short pleasures that breed long and eternal pains, an eternal weight of glory will make afflictions that are but for a moment seem but ●ight and little when heaviest and greatest, 'tis this, the end, the duration of good and evil that wisdom considereth, before it bestows its names on any thing. And oh! that men were wise in this, to employ their thoughts more upon the end of their way, and the wages of their work, then upon the way and work itself, than would not the present delights of sin make the life of a sinner to appear delightful; because such pleasures are but for a season, the pleasures are but false and fading, but the torments are true and eternal ones.  
We are told concerning Witches that the Devil appeareth not to them in any terrible shape at the beginning of their contract but in the shape of a man and with many fair promises of wealth, long life, and power to revenge their wrongs, with many pleasures besides. That the hook being bid, it may go down the better, 2 Cor. 4.4. were but the seals of ignorance (by which the God of this world blinds the eyes of them that believe not) taken off, the life of sinners would quickly prove a weary life, and the Ministers of Christ who now are wearied with silence, would find work enough to answer the question, Acts 11.16.30. Sirs what shall we do to be saved.  
There is but a thin seal over thine eye and that will not always there abide. Death or the day of judgement will ferch it off. And when that drops, all thy comforts drops away from thee; sin will find thee out, then, be sure no place shall privilege thee from its arrest. Is. 32.2. To be found in Christ will be the best hiding place and covert from the Wind and Tempest. Zions' heights, and shows of holiness will stand in little stead, when, Is. 33.14. The sinners [in Zion] are afraid fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrite: who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire? who amongst us shall dwell with everlasting burn? sincerity. real Christianity will be the best Religion then: when shows and shadows shall flee away. Then they that fear God, walk in darkness, that are wounded in spirit, laden with the spirit of heavyness, whose faith of adoption lieth open to manifold temptations, trodden underfoot of Men, and not sp●red by the rod of God: these, these I say, then will have a merry day: a day of redemption from sears, and deliverance from every particular of their complaint. Mark well, Mat. 4.2. But unto you that fear my name shall the Son of righteousness arise with healing in his wings, and ye shall go forth, and grow up as Calves of the stall. Ch. 3 17. And they shall be mine saith the Lord of hosts in that day when I make up my Jewels and I will spare them as a Man spareth his own Son that serveth him.  
Let all the world then know, that if the unchecked pleasures of time be attended with eternal displeasures, there is but small reason why any man should become sins advocate because of that pleasure that attends it, concerning which that may as truly be said which St. james asserts concerning the life of all Men. What is it but a vapour, which soon appeareth and presently disapeareth, leaving its possessor ●n an interminable irrecoverable gulf of dismal horror and confounding distraction?  
This is the fifth branch of my answer to ●hose that think the troubles of mind which ●arnall professors are freed from, is an argument strong enough to persuade men from intermeddling in the stricter and purer ways of holiness: Eternity is before us. Mal. 3.18  
Then shall ye return and discern between the righteous and the wicked, between him that feareth God and h●m that feareth him not.  
6. Let me also add this; that as all God's people are not so happy as to enjoy the height of assurance of the love of God without fits of intermission so neither are they also miserable as to be cast into the depths of terrors the belly of Hell, without hope of coming thence. Or, this is that I would say, depths of terrors among professors is altogether as rare as heights of assurance. 'Tis but a few that fall into such temptation as may render them the wonder of others. The rod of correction is as needful among Children in a family, as bread its self: and of this all that belong to God are one way or other partakers: but to be whipped with Scorpions, to be chastened in wrath or rebuked in hot displeasure, is a thing rarely to be seen among the thousands of Israel.  
7. Those whom God thus puts upon the wrack of unusual terrors have none to thank but an evil nature in themselves and that evils One that is in the world.  
The razor that he shaves his people with i● an hired one: Is. 7.20. Acts of punishment ar● called strange acts. Is. 28.21. God hath none that he thinks fit to own. Sin and Satan, 'tis that he must blame if any thing; the one for procuring the other for promoting wrathful deal against the Soul. All this while God and his ways are free.  
8. Though the just God should lengthen the chains of the devouring Lion so far as that grace and peace seem to be lost for ever: yet the purposes of God to preserve his Elect shall stand fast for ever.  
Such is the wisdom power and love of God to his own that though Satan hath an allowance to disturb them yet shall he never be able to destroy them. All his labour shall become fruitless, and his thoughts but vain. The overruling power is still where it was. God (that I may allude to that of the Apostle) never sends forth any single-warrant against his people. If the Devil, God's servant, be at any time employed upon a message to tempt, to trouble, to buffet: God hath ever some messenger or other at hand commissioned to support, to comfort, to secure and save his endangered one's: 1 Cor. 10.13. this double warrant beareth an equal date, and holds an equal pace. This may very well pass for one of the wonders which are wrought in the deep.  
In a word. God frustrates the counsels of Satan, turns his furious attempts into tokens of favour, overshoots him in his own bow, makes that serve for a means of conversion, which was intended for nothing but subversion and perdition.  
I hope the Reader will not account me impertinent in all that is here said. My design is (oh that I were able) to do all the mischief that may be to the Kingdom of darkness, I mean, the wiles of the Devil, whereby he endeavours to represent the ways of open sin, or formal Religion, as the only pleasant way and desirable to walk in, because not observed to trouble its Passengers with fears, doubts and distresses about spiritual and eternal things.  
To all which give leave to sum up my answer briefly, which is this.  
1. The ways of God are the only ways that give a true right to solid peace and comfort.  
2. Sometimes the ways of God may not aford that joy which is desired, but then 'tis both needful and gainful to have it so.  
3. 'Tis senseless to imagine any Man's person or way to be the better because not troubled in it.  
4. And yet no age wherein God doth not visit some one or other of the stoutest of his enemies with confounding terrors.  
5 But the best time to judge whether strict piety, or dissoluteness, and formality be the most undisturbed way will not be till time is at an end.  
6. There are but very few of God's people, that are under long and strong disertions.  
7. All that are so find cause enough to charge their present sufferings upon their former sinful security, and the Devil-their enemy but to acquit God and his ways.  
8. Whom God suffers Satan to rage's violently upon, he sends help unto, and turns all into good.  
This last particular is clearly exemplified in God's deal with myself at the first.  
It pleased the Lord who drew me out of my Mother's Womb to lay upon me a violent sickness, and that in the days of my ignorance and while under a mere natural and unregenerate state, as I said before, in which sickness (being a Favour) God, who is rich in mercy, began first to frighten my secure Soul into serious apprehensions of its eternal concerns. I had under that distemper clearly, to my apprehension, heaven in its glory, hell in its misery and confounding torments set before me, and (which was that, that filled me with anguish) I lay under strong apprehensions of Christ's forsakings, and that my portion lay in that lake of fire, this made so deep an impression upon me, that to this day I still retain the memory of it; nor could any thing but wonderful grace in God have freed me from the terror of its remembrance. To what a fearful stand such impressions must needs bring poor Souls possessed thereby cannot be expressed by me, nor understood by any one who is a stranger to such passages within his own breast, only this I must declare, that such was the dread and horror that then I lay under, so strong the delusion of the Devil at that time, that Satan made no small advantage thereof in the whole course of his temptations.  
This way which God was pleased to use for my first awakening out of my natural estate, wherein I never dreamt of any danger at all; gives me occasion to speak a word to these three things.  

1. The nature and usefulness of such means.  
2. The desperate design that Satan the common Enemy hath in them.  
3. The merciful overruling hand of God that appeareth therein for the frustration of Satan's malicious design and the furtherance of his gracious purposes for his elect   
As to the first of these, I would have none to understand me as if I took such occasions and accidents to be a necessary or proper institution for revealing a man's condition to himself. Such things may not be called properly converting Ordinances, they have no sufficiency of ●heir own to beget any saving apprehension of the misery of sin, and excellency of Christ.  
Nevertheless God can and doth many times make use of such ways as preparatory to the Ministry of Christ by the Gospel. Acts 9 As in the case of Paul, such providences may astonish, confound and fetter ●he sinner, and by fear bring him into a willingness to entertain the message of the Gospel.  
The preaching of Faith; is the settled, fixed, instituted means to convert and free the Soul from its fears.  
God speaks not by visions and Revelations, Heb. 1.1. but by his Son. His Ordinances not ●rovidences are the means of grace; yet so as ●hat the one may make way for the other when ●nd in whomsoever he will.  
2. Touching the design that Satan hath in ●hose tumultuous disquietments raised upon such occasion, I have learned that among the rest these are some of the principal ones that he mainly in ends.  
1. Present overthrow, utter shipwreck, and destruction of all hope, he would dash and split the soul against the rock of damning desperation.  
2. And as a consequent thereof, help on the bodily distemper, dry up the humours of the body by the hurries of the Soul, and so if it be possible drag the Soul laden with fears and not yet relieved by faith before the seat of judgement where he that believeth not is sure to be condemned. Jon 3.18.  
3. Or if this fails, by recovery out of sickness, than his design is, to make such wearied ones willing to cast off all thoughts of that which so much troubleth them in the remembrance of, and glad to flee to the pleasures of sin to seek for a Remedy. He hopes by that heavy hand of temptation which lieth upon them to draw the natural principle of self-love to a composition, and rather than remain a close prisoner in such bondage, to change it for a Vassalage to one of these common principles of Hell.  
1. That there is no such thing as Heaven nor Hell, 'tis a mere fixion, and therefore but a mere folly to trouble ourselves about them. Or else.  
2. 'tis better for a Man to take his share in the pleasures of the flesh, allowing God and ourselves so much service and care as our Forefathers and others have done. And not concern himself so deeply in the affairs of eternity. If I am elected I cannot be damned; if reprobated not saved.  
To these or some such prisons the Devil shifts souls wearied with terrors. And it matters not him much in which they are, may he but be the keeper.  
4. Or lastly if all these fail yet Satan hath a further design. If he find, that the Garrison cannot be won by storm; that still there is a resistance made against all his attempts. He cannot drive the soul to utter despair of mercy, or to yield its members servants to divers lusts and pleasures. Yet nevertheless he hopes that the breaches, the wide gashes, that he now makes, may be a way for entrance in times to come. That a long life shall not be able to make them up again; he knows that upon every falling into sin he shall have a f●ll blow at the soul thus troubled; and that the greatness of the doubts now raised may prove a mighty impediment to the hearts closing with Christ by faith.  
This last have I found most true in my own case. This first delusion ministered much strength to every following temptation.  
3. Satan the great enemy intended nothing but my final overthrow▪ not the least good, but the greatest evil, and yet shall I here make bold to tell the world how much I stand bound to fear the Lord for his goodness, in delivering me and disposing my fears for good. For.  
1. As soon as it pleased God that my body recovered out of its distemper, I lay under much trouble by reason of the great fears before mentioned and this made me seek out for some advice now for my wracked mind. And acquainting that blessed Man of God Dr. 〈◊〉 with my trouble he gave me to understand that i● was a mere delusion of Satan.  
2. I found i● myself serious thoughts of my eternal state, of Heaven and Hell, attended with endeavours to seek the one, and avoid the other.  
3. And I sound not only the Lord coming i● by his b●essed spirit with conviction of sin: but also re●sing in my soul an high estimation of his love and favour.  
4. I found myself stirred up to pray. God enabling me by his blessed spirit therein, so that now it might be said, as once of Paul, behold he prayeth. I could then have spoken to God as one speaketh to his friend.  
5. Open profession of the truth of the Gospel followed hereon. Gladly bearing the reproachful name of Puritan, which was the name in fashion in those days to revile professors withal.  
6. Prayer in my Family was set up also by me when young and unmarried.  
7. Former sins did not only dislike me but also former pleasures and pastimes. As Bowling, and Cocking, etc. And.  
8. Association with the godly was my delight, the Men that feared God were the Men of my choice but especially with much content did I embrace acquaintance with, and was much helped by one Mr. The. Hibben of Rowton above others, a Gentleman eminently worthy for profession of the Gospel.  
9 Frequent was my attendance upon the word preached. Often went I to Brompton Brrian to hear that holy Man of God Mr. Peirson. So that by this time methoughts I could discern a work of God wrought in me whereby I found the new Man as well as the old.  
10. Going to Brompton I not only foun● much help for my Soul by the Ministry of the word but it pleased God also to bring me into acquaintance with a noble Family eminent in those days for Religion Sr. Robert Harleigh. Out of which he gave me a meet helper, both for body and Soul.  
Here was the first conflict wherein Satan's malice was over matched by the super-abundant grace of God.   

CHAP. II. Victory in and over temptation matter of admiration Satan disappointed in particular temptations. Doth not cease them, but suspend them. Security the unbeseeming consequent of spiritual deliverance. The Mother of more and greater miseries. Satan's Art may vary, but his Aim that same the writer's experience herein.  
WHo can but admire the Wisdom, Might, and Mercy of God clearly manifesting itself in holding up poor weak and worthless Man under any one of all those heavy conflicts he hath with the powers of darkness? Oh: what policy? what power? what poison? is every stratagem of the Devil managed with▪ all? how doth that evil one set his All at work that poor Man might be caught, kept, and confounded by him at once. And that temptation might not rise up a second time.  
But such is the heart of God towards Man in misery that he stands not by as an idle spectator of our sufferings; but teacheth our hands to war and our singers to fight. He makes us to understand what we could hardly believe. 2 Pet. 2.9. That he knows how to deliver out off temptation. That there is no desperate case with him. That our unbelief cannot render the faith of God of none effect. 2 Tim. 2.13. That though we believe not yet he abideth faithful and cannot deny himself, such may be the anguish of spirit and cruel Bondage under disertion that (as the Children of Israel could not hearken to the words of promise spoken to them by Moses. Exod. 6.9. Though no condition more needing it, so) faith of Adoption may be much decayed, the Breasts of promise may not let down their wont consolations. The Soul seemeth to be in a languishing condition by reason of its disability to embrace the promises. 'Tis brought to its wit's end, come to the utmost of faith and patience. And yet for all this, our God abideth faithful he cannot deny himself, he is the only wise God.  
And a Saviour of such as are gone to the utmost end of faith, ready to drop away into total unbelief. He that can but place Affiance in God the Saviour; though God hath not planted Assurance of Salvation in him; may yet abide confident of deliverance. Dwell in, stay thyself upon God, by this faith: and thou shalt find the want of Assurance may damnify but cannot damn thee. Mark well that passage of the Psalmist, Ps. 91.1. He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall ledge under the shadow of the Almighty. Give him the honour of his being The most high. And Almightiness shall be thy defence.  
Trust in his mercy and thou shalt not need to tremble at his power. But remember (saith blessed Mr. Bradford) it must be such a trust as may be called a Dwelling. Here you must stay, here you must abide, not suffering your Souls to be outed by violence of temptation, nor voluntary giving up the possession.  
● is a wonder (I say again) that when the wind of temptation blows high and strong: Psal. 62.9. Poor Man, lighter than a feather, lighter than vanity, should be any note found. Or that grace should ever be able to show its head when fiery scorching heats of temptation smite the heart. Yet so it is. The secret of the most high is a place above all destructive storms; the shadow of the Almighty is no Jonahs' Gourd, but a thick, a safe shelter from the scorching beams of temptation, the fiery darts of the Devil. Wait on the Lord, oh: my Soul! hope in his mercy! here stay, here wait, here dwell in waiting! let no force nor fraud of Hell persuade thee to departed hence, and thou art safe for ever.  
I have showed already how Satan miss of his design which he had upon me in his first delusion. He would have had me (being greatly affrighted at the thoughts of Hell) to give up my hopes of Heaven, and as a means to effect that did (to my apprehension) present to my view the Lord Christ departing from me. This he did whiles I was under bodily weakness, from which God mercifully set me free. But as I said before, and find since, by long and lamentable experience, his malicious purpose in that delusion did not end when the terror of it was abated. His practice upon me so filled my thoughts for many years after that it wonderfully hindered me from receiving my Lord Christ in that faithfulness as I should have done. He departed from me so as that the violence of his temptations were nothing so great as in the time when he first was let lose upon me: but so much of them still stuck and stayed behind, as did make me drive on but heavily in the ways of God, filling me with many slavish fears and doubts, and thereby making my closure with Jesus Christ upon the offer of the Gospel the more difficult; and his own entrance at another season more possible and easy. The Lord indeed gave me a gracious deliverance, but Satan's war with poor souls is not ended after the first battle. His hopes are that that fort which is not won at first onset may be conquered at last. He was not out of hope of finding a fit season to renew his temptations against Christ, the head, though he found he had enough of him in the first Combat. Luke. 4.13. The text saith when the Devil had ended all the temptations he departed from him: for a season.  
How little doth the thoughts of this affect our hearts? we are apt to fall asleep as soon as the fit of trouble is over; as if our enemy were afraid to show himself any more, or as if his second attempts would be no worse than the first, or we ourselves in a better posture for resistance. Whereas there is nothing more true than the contrary, nor any thing more unbeseeming a Christian then to forget his past dangers or remit his dillige●ne and slacken his hand in services of his God and his precious soul. To grow careless negligent and secure after such deliverances, or indeed at any time, Is  
1. Sinful. 1 Thes. 5.6. Let others sleep as they will, Jesus Christ will not have his people do so. Math. 26.41. To watch is a duty then which none more frequently enjoined. A duty that carrieth much mercy in the bowels of it. A watchful frame will beget and maintain a praying frame wherever it is. And both together will be a good means, if not to keep off, yet (at least) to keep up the soul under, the heavy load of temptation our blessed Lord who himself hath suffered being tempted, and is able to secure us who are tempted: Heb. 3.18. Hath yet thought it fit to employ poor souls this way during their lucid intervals and quiet hours. Encouraging us thereunto by this. It may be a preservative from entering into temptations. Watch and pray and pray, lest ye enter into etc. Math. 26.41.  
2. A careless behaviour after deliverance is not only sinful, but foolish. The folly of it appeareth in these considerations.  
1. The Devil himself is not at quiet, he is rallying up his forces after every Conquest, he is renewing his war again with greater fury. What he doth in this matter he knoweth he shall gain nothing by but the fulfilling of his malicious and revengeful pleasure in the downfall of our immortal souls. And shall he be thus active in a matter of so small advantage to himself, and we remain stupid when the gain is an immortal matchless gain, and that our own gain too? oh how unbeseeming! how foolish a thing is this? we may well collect how Satan takes his ejectments out of the souls and bodies of Men by the account that the Disciples brought back to their great Master touching the success of their ministry. Luke. 10.17. Lord say they even the Devils are subject to us through thy name. This was the return they made and the text saith 'twas with joy. Christ allows it to be matter of rejoicing because hardly effected. v. 18. And he said unto them I beheld Satan as lightning fall from Heaven. To be permitted to rule in man is the Devil's Heaven. To be cast out thence is a torment next to Hell. It is not more contrary to the nature of flame to move downward, then to that evil spirit to be removed out of his place in man: mere force, mighty force must fetch him thence. his fall is as the fall of lightning.  
2. It animates and arms our enemy for a sooner and sorer onset.  
Satan needeth not stay long to find advantages against a sleepy soul. The bed of slothful security will aford room enough for him, but none for Jesus Christ.  
And the onset is like to be more sore as well as more soon. Old sores not healed, every touch goes to the heart. Cant. 3.1, 24. Ch. 5.2 etc. The spouse had more a do to get ●id of her second disertion then of the first, although victorious in both. Security and unwary walking in a time of peace when there is liberty and leisure to fortify ourselves, is but a sorry posture for such especially, whose enemies are upon the march. Of all enemies none carry greater dread or greater danger than those that come on the sudden. Gen. 49.17. As Dan (that Serpent in the way and Adder in the path) dealt with the men of Laish who dwelled careless, quiet, and secure. Judg. 18.7.10.27. So the Devil that old Serpent, the fiery red Dragon, abours to do with souls negligent to secure ●heir spiritual peace.  
In a word an heart so stupid after deliverance as not to be deeply and durably affected with its past danger, and future duty (of love to Jesus Christ, and pressing after a more distinct and full assured understanding of him) But contrarily walking unevenly or carelessly; must needs be a sinful and foolish thing. For such a frame of heart as this is inviteth a departing Devil to return. When holy diligence and watchfulness will enforce an approaching Devil to departed. He rallyeth up his forces while we slight the pursuit: whereas in the hottest onset resist him and he will fly from you.  
This was my own folly after my first deliverance. Sins and miscarriages against my good God cost me dearly. For after many years' patience of God it pleased him to withdraw his presence from me and cast me in a more horrible pit of soul distress than I had known.  
This second violent impulse of the Devil (though many years passed between it and the first, and the way he used in them both were somewhat unlike) I now find to be no other than a more subtle artifice of his, aiming at the same thing. Which now to the best of my ability I shall plainly declare.  
It pleased the Lord to suffer the enemy Satan to break in upon my soul in so fearful a manner that he forced me to blaspheme my God though unwillingly. And (taking the advantage of my weakness) laid another delusion upon my fantasy, persuading me that I had betrayed my Lord Christ, and so caused my own tongue to exclaim against myself, that my sins were so great that I thought Judas' sins were nothing to mine, and that I had overthrown the world  
In this delusion (the Lord suffering him, mine enemy, to have a strong power over me) he presented to me as though I had committed some bloody murder (which afterwards he endeavoured to have had me acted) tending to revive and with greater fury to set on the first temptation; that Christ had forsaken me.  
In all this he managed his design upon me so, that I apprehended the suggestion not to be of Satan, but of God, insomuch that being asked who told me these things which I uttered with so much dread against myself, mine answer was, that it was God.  
By all this Satan took advantage to confirm his first delusion, which indeed was no other than a forelaying the way for the better effecting of his accursed purpose and practise against me. For in the first he acted as if it had been Christ: and now, the Lord permitting it for good ends, which at last he accomplished, suffered him to tempt me, and by that temptation to prevail so far that my tongue spoke something against my Lord Jesus and this sin he made use of to persuade me that now I was indeed forsaken of God.  
I cannot say but that Satan might have been discovered to have been no other then Satan; that this impulse was his, not Gods; if men under such desertions had not their judgements much darkened; for herein he acted like himself with violence and at unawares it was a surprise on a sudden.  
Nor can I say but that I had at that very time hopeful signs of the grace of God within me, could I but have seen it. For it was not a sin committed with full consent of my will, or without horror. 'Twas my unregenerate part that was prevailed over only. And so grievous was it to me that in my confession of sins to the Lord afterwards, I acknowledged that he might justly make me an amazement to Angels and men; and such thoughts carried about me many years.  
Nevertheless the hour of temptation being an hour of darkness, and the Lord permitting the enemy thus to prevail, and not only so, but also to assault me with blasphemous thoughts, this helped forward my doubtings and raised fearful thoughts in me that the first apprehensions I had of being forsaken of Jesus Christ, were not the delusions of the Devil but the certain persuasions of God, because I thought now I had committed a sin most answerable to it.  
After certain days being under this sad condition, it pleased the Lord to stir up the hearts of divers of his people to keep a day of fasting and prayer at the place where I lay, among whom was that blessed man of God Mr. Pierson, who prevailed with the Lord for my deliverance out of the violent extremity of this temptation.  
But alas: the sting of that fiery Serpent, the Devil, in this delusion had so far entered, that much pain and anguish remained still. I could not get rid of many fearful thoughts arising from the remembrance of the sin committed, and also from the credit I too much gave to that suggestion [that upon the discovery and bringing to light of this notorious sin 〈◊〉 should be a shame to all my Friends and to Religion, and be brought also to some shame ●l end] which my deadly Adversary (as 〈◊〉 shall show in its place) by another stratagem would indeed have brought me unto.  
My fears thus abiding and doubts growing on still as though Christ bade sorsaken me: and Satan with all his might labouring to carry on his design to spoil me of the comforts which the Lord had formerly given me: as I had opportunity I would still be speaking to godly Ministers and enquiring, whether the disertion I lay under were not a final forsaking, and labouring to resolve my doubts whether I had not finned that unpardonable sin against the holy Ghost? all this while ashamed to disclose the sin I had, as before, committed, it being so strange a fin, and so damnified myself by not discovering of it.  
And from those to whom I made known my condition I received some comfort, thenceforth I followed the preaching of the Word, constantly, entertained the Ministers and people of God at my house, kept many days of humiliation and prayer for the pardon of my sins, and through the course of about twenty years the Lord bore me up in his arms that I f●ll not into any great depth of continued ●●rrors.   

CHAP. III. He holds on his profession. Walking remissly und der long peace, is awakened by aflictions, more dangerously wounded with temptations, but mercifully rescued.  
NOw being so graciously delivered out of the paw of the Lion and Bear, from a first and second combat with monstrous delusions: 'twas high time to begin to put on for assurance of the pardon of sin. To arise and ak● the staff of faith and hope in hand and march along after the Ark of the Covenant through this weary land, this wilderness of temptation, in which I had been led so far already. But many inward doubts and fears I had within me still; faith though it held me up in the way of profession, yet was it not so strong as with others, it administered not an abundant entrance into the Kingdom of our Lord and Saviour. I could approve the things that are excellent: but wanted greatly those consolations of God, arising from the Faith of Adoption, which are the strength of passengers through the vale of Baca.  
Notwithstanding my assurances of pardon were thus wanting, and I subject to re-enslavement thereby, I held it my duty and safety to become partner with the people of God in all the divine ordinances and providences that should be imposed upon them, the sense of which duty made me tie my endeavours with theirs to draw the Ark of the God of Israel to its own place. 1 Sam. 6.12. And although (like the Kine) went on lowing all the way yet (to the best of my understanding) I kept the straight ways of the Lord and did not wickedly departed from my God.  
After the intestive broils of those times were somewhat abated, and leisure with liberty lay common for any man to be as good as he would. Though I thankfully embraced the freedom of the Gospel as a singular favour from Heaven, yet I must confess (as matter of much sorrow) that neither the many afflictions nor mercies under which I was exercised, were so well improved as they should. But contrarily I forgot to return to. God according to his benefits.  
Not long after this I found my sins growing to so great a bulk that I could not look up.  
My former sin began to grow fresh in my remembrance, and the Lord to withdraw the light of his countenance which I had now for a good season, and in a good measure enjoyed, my communion with him began much to abate, and his rod of affliction, such as I had not known before, began to smart upon my back.  
In my former trials (than which I thought once none could be greater) I was not brought so near the brink of utter ruins as I was in this and what followed.  
First the Lord began to lay on a load of sore and galling afflictions upon my loins mainly. By bringing a day of silence upon his Ministers from whose lips I had often received sufficient drops of that water of life to quench the thirst of my heart panting after God. And blocking up the solemn assemblies of his Saints, permitting things so contrary to my judgement to be introduced and added to his worship. These together with some other heavy afflictions at home from some of mine own relations did so concur with my former trials, that I now concluded more than at any time before God had withdrawn himself from me.  
Hereupon he was pleased to suffer that cruel enemy Satan, that old Serpent to break in upon my soul with such dread and terror that he made my body to quake upon my bed, so that I was fain to have one to lie upon me to keep me from shaking, thinking than he had an opportunity to accomplish his hellish tragedy (my self being so abused by his former delusions and still entertaining thoughts that God had forsaken me) that cursed enemy to the most glorious and ever blessed God would have tempted me (as once Jobes Wife d●d her husband) to curse God, and this he pressed with much violence: but through the mercy of God was not able to accomplish his wicked design though he seemed to me to affirm (with as strong affirmations and as bloody oaths as ever were heard from any swearing wretch) that I was damned; territ●ing me in the night with fearful dreams and visions of a spiritual nature which were most dreadful to my apprehensions and not being be through the goodness of God) to make my tongue his cursed instrument departed for a season as though he would have rent the Heavens and the Earth.  
But reviving again his temptations, she whom God had given me for a meet helper, fight against him by earnest prayer to Almighty God, and likewise many Christian friends that came to see me, he now began to desist and fail in that way, and therefore began to try another, viz. In relation to the former delution as though I should do some murderous act. And now showing himself to be according as our God hath said of him a murderer from the beginning he with strong temptations endeavoured to make me imbrue my hands in the blood of my dearest friend, who had been so helpful to me against his former temptations, which was most grievous to my poor soul, and fearing lest his violent temptation might have overcome me, I (being so much in his hands) desired her that she would withdraw herself, telling her the temptation. But she (something amazed thereat) undauntedly lifted up her soul to the Lord by holy ejaculations, and resolved she would not give that enemy one inch of ground. But casting us both upon the protection of the Almighty with a lively faith in the Lord Jesus vanquished the enemy at that time.  
Yet this temptation continnued about two months, in all which time my poor soul being most dreadfully afflicted, I did again earnestly desire my Wife to get some company in the house by night, but having little help or comfort from others, she the more uncessantly acted faith and prayer until our gracious God had given us deliverance.   

CHAP. IU. His struggling under and against temptations. The means most used and blessed for his support. Cast again the fourth and last time into the furnace of fiery hot instigations to blaspheme the means used and owned for coming thence. An happy issue.  
ANd having now passed some five or six years since the last grievous visitation all this time labouring for the pardon of sin in the use of means appointed of God to get out of that sad condition, wherein I was still haunted with blasphemous and horrible injections and cursed instigations to curse and swear which that wicked enemy could not after his utmost endeavours bring any further than my tongue's end. Now, I say, labouring under these temptations and making my condition known to my Godly acquaintance they affirming; that these were not my own but Satan's suggestions, some comfort I had from them labouring in the word of the Lord and prayer. This was one good stay.  
Making use also of those blessed streams flowing from the word of God, I mean the works of those blessed servants of Christ who have laboured much in writing upon such subjects. As namely Dr. Preston upon the attributes (which I read above twelve times over) Dr. Thomas goodwin's Child of light walking in darkness. Mr. Bridges' lifting up of cast down. Mr. Simonds his deserted soul. And that precious piece of that worthy Mr. Burroughs. Saints walking by faith without sight and sense. And Mr. Baxter's thirty two directions, traversing these books over, through the Lord's blessing. Were a great comfort and support in bearing up my soul against the enemies cruel attempts, and wearisome afflictions under which I struggled, having no assurance of the pardon of my sins, and lying still under the guilt of that great transgression so long passed committed, and under many more since.  
Moreover though I could not pray with a free spirit, yet, under all this heavy load, I still followed the Lord by earnest prayer that he would come and take away both guilt and filth of sin, and destroy that cursed nature from which Satan took his advantage against me, and help me (though he tarry yet) still to wait for him, in the way of his judgements.  
And now public assemblies (which were wont to be a great solace to me in my distress) being not to be enjoyed in that purity I expected, and the practice of the public ministers being so contrary to my judgement and conscience, I neither could nor would upon any terms become a hearer of them; and thereupon did rather choose to expose myself to the scorn and displeasure of men, in keeping meetings every Lord's day in my Family. Spending that day in prayer and praises, and as occasion was offered, days of humiliation.  
These duties having most of them been my practice for many years, wherein I served the Lord withal my might, though sometimes under much dejection, about the beginning of April, my good God (through the purchase made by the blood of his Son, that blessed seed of the Woman, through whom he had covenanted with out first Parents immediately after the fall to give eternal life) having (by earnest prayer and intercession I humbly claiming this from the Lord that he would account and make me righteous, through that purchase and redemption made by Christ) now resolved to take up and put an end to the quarrel which he had against me for all my sins (yet to let me know my deserving and to manifest a further work upon me) did suffer the enemy to break in again upon me in most dreadful manner. Charging upon me that one sin as formerly named above others with such violence and power. That I believe I was in as great despair for the time as ever man was. My soul, by that malicious enemy to mankind, being stuffed with all abominations of hellish thoughts, injections, cursed instigations, with other base and abominable vile imaginations, he at last infused into me as much malice against my blessed God as possibly he could. I thought now I was utterly forsaken, living in expectation of nothing but the lower most hell, and brought now again almost to blaspheme.  
When I saw that I was in this most dreadful case, fearing I should I have wilfully blasphemed I could have been well content that God should have damned me, and thrown m● into hell, fear of being over tempted and thereby to blaspheme God made me weary of life. When my Wife would put me on to pray for a blessing upon my meat I did it feignedly being willing to be starved if I could.  
And now in this dreadful condition (so dreadful that I believe few Sons of Adam were ever in a worse, that did not do the things that I feared, i. e. blaspheme God and destroy himself) I say being in such a condition, and the sin so often spoken of, lying still heavy upon me, and shame withholding me from revealing it for many years, it pleased God to overrule my spirit that I sent for a worthy Minister of Jesus Christ who coming to me the day before my deliverance I acquainted him with that sin which did so lie upon my Conscience, and never was revealed before. Well remembering how holy David Ps. 32.3.5. (who while he kept silence his waxed old through his roaring all the day long) did but say he would confess his sin and the Lord forgave his iniquity. So the Lord the very next day came and set my soul at rest.  
The comfort and help that I found from my natural relations and friends this woeful condition was none at all, but instead of pity I met with reproach from many, only my dear yoke fellow was my fellow sufferer, of whom I can say the Lord gave her to me for such a day as this to be his blessed instrument of my deliverance, for when I was even distracted she laid the glory of the Lord deeply to her heart, and did daily bring the word of God to my soul, reading with great diligence the holy Scriptures. Which being done then pouring forth her soul to the Lord with ardent affections and with a mighty faith in our gracious God who had manifested his great love to her in former troubles, the experience of which encouraged her to go on still in earnest and frequent prayer and expectation that the Lord would accomplish the work of deliverance.  
And upon the sixteenth day of April, 1669. (a day for ever to be solemnised as glorious and honourable to the Lord by me his poor creature) she, going on in her constant course of prayer, after she had given the Lord his holy and reverend titles, using Moses his arguments broke forth into these words.  
My Father! my Father! what wilt thou do with mine husband? he hath been speaking and acting still in thy cause, oh! destroy him not for thine own glory. Oh! what dishonour will come to thy great name if thou do it. Oh! rather do with me what thou wilt! oh! do with me what thou wilt, but spare my Husband, etc.  
Thus laying hold of that word of God in the Prophet. With a lively faith (concerning your Sons and your Daughters, command you me and striving mightily in prayer the duty being e●ded, the Lord immediately appeared: and then that Lion of the tribe of Judah, that blessed seed of the Woman, that second Adam, that promised Messiah, the Son of the living God who had formerly broke the Serpent's head, he who in a single duel had disarmed the Devil in the Wilderness, t●od the Wine press of his Father's wrath alone, this Jesus the Saviour who knew how to secure tempered souls) made hare his holy arm and his own right hand brought deliverance, he delivered me from my strong enemy and saved m● from him that hated me.  
He that is pleased to style himself a God, hearing prayer, and in most of his great works delights to advance his own power by using small and unlikely means, after long tarrying and in▪ a time when I looked not for him, came now and owned his own ordinance, crowned the cries and faith and patience of a poor Woman with such success, that my praise shall be continually of him. The proud m●y scorn, but the humble shall hear there of and be glad:  
That roaring Lion, mine adversary the Devil: that old Serpent; that red-Dragon; that unclean Spirit that Liar, Accuser, Murderer from the beginning: that Apollion to the Geeck●, Abbaddon to the Jews, and destroyer to all (for as are the names given him by the word of truth, so is his nature, and so hath he laboured mightily for a long season to show himself in me) even now (when he thought himself almost seated in the possession of his long sought Dominion, and that there was no casting of him out of my soul, which ●e abused, making it his dunghill whereon he laid all the filth of hellish thoughts and abominations that he could, wanting nothing but my will (that Fort-royal) to have put me under an eternal vassalage to his long laid designs now, I say, was that accursed enemy to God, and me, his poor creature, sent to his own place, by my dear Lord Christ that holy Son of the blessed God, who took upon him my nature, that he might become my Lord and King; Saviour and Redeemer; who broke the doors of Brass, rescued me from the Rape of Hellish furies, cast them out, delivered my darling soul from the power of the Dog, and barred the Gate, that he could enter no more to stuff my thoughts with his detestable injections, although he attempted a return.  
Thou hast thrust fore at me (oh mine enemy that I might fall but the Lord helped me many a time (may I now say) have these things afflicted me from my youth, many a time have they afflicted me from my youth, yet they have not prevailed against me. The Plowers ploughed upon my back they made long their furrows, but the righteous Lord he hath cut asunder the cords of the weeked one, I was brought low and the Lord helped me. He hath delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.  
Oh Lord my God I will give thanks to thee for ever.   

CHAP. V Concluding the whole experiment with an account of the unconceivable sweetness of divine consolations (the usual consequent of long and sort temptations) a more than abundant reason to abide God's leisure under the heavy load of d●sertions. Of the cause of writing.  
ANd now at last when the Lord, my Lord▪ of whom the Father said sit thou at my right hand until I make thy enemies thy footstool had set my soul at freedom by his mighty power, he sent his blessed spirit, the holy Ghost, that most glorious self evidencing and sweet comforter, whose sweetness no heart can conceive but he who hath tasted how good he is, who shown me from the Father and his blessed Son, that all the miseries afore mentioned, pressing me down were the delusions of Satan: and whereas he intended to have made me a shame and reproach to all that should know or hear of my overthrow, that now my God hath taken advantage of the greatness of my sins thereby to magnify his mercy in pardoning thereof, according to my cry in the day of my distress; and that now I was of Abraham's Family, numbered among the spiritual Children of Abraham; a privilege which I often, especially under my troubles, prized highly and desired earnestly to be partaker off.  
The blessed spirit bearing witness of these things, wrought in my soul such unconceivable joy, that in the words of Thomas I cried out my Lord and my God, so ravishing were the (kisses of those divine lips of love that my heart was filled with joy unspeakable and glorious, my mouth with laughter, my body (much weakened by the anguish and horror of my soul so that I kept my Chamber for many days together) was now revived, and my youth renewed as the Eagle that casteth her Beak, so that I became as lightsome as if I had not known sorrow, to the great admiration of my Friends who had known my long confinement to my Chamber by reason of sorrow and heavyness. My heart, my sorrowful heart, of which I was wont to cry out. None so sad, none so disquieted as thou; was now (through the joy of the Lord) quite altered. The spirit of my God now covering me with the glorious robes of his Son's righteousness turned my mourning into dancing, put off my Sackcloth and girded me with gladness, gave me a garment of praise, for the spirit of heavyness, so that then (and since being upheld by the same hand) I could say I carry about me a cheerful heart, and a much more healthy body, notwithstanding the great disappointments I (in my worldly condition) then met with, and still lie under.  
Being now enabled by faith to apprehend myself justified through the righteousness of God, even the righteousness of Jesus Christ, imputeth to poor sinners; the guilt, the obligation of my sins to punishment, being taken away; I can now (through the tender mercy of God whereby the day spring from on high hath visited me) comfortably give a challenge to Death and the Grave. Oh Death where is thy sting: oh Grave where is thy victory? my dear Lord having ransomed me from the power and fear of the grave, and helping me in despite of him that hath the power of death, that is the Devil to look upon myself as one of those whom God the Father hath given to the Son as part of the travail of his soul, so that the Lord Christ delights in me as the gift of his Father and the purchase of his own blood. And my God loveth me with the same love wherewith he loveth his Son and all the promises of grace made to sinners in the holy word, through Jesus Christ, I have an interest in, and expect to have fulfilled to me as far as it shall tend to his glory and my good. He that gave me his Son will freely also give me all good things.  
Well may I therefore take up the words of the Prophet. Oh Lord I will praise thee for though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortedst me. For the iniquity of my soul thou wast wroth with me and smot●st me but now thou hast healed me, and restored comforts to me, the Lord Jehovah is my strength and song he also is become my sal●ation. I waited patiently for the Lord, and he enc●●ned his ear to me and heard my cry, he drew my feet out of an horrible pit out of the miry clay and hath set me upon a Rock and established my go. What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits. I will call upon him as long as I live. I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.  
When the Lord Jesus is pleased to go away (to withdraw the comfortable warm beams of his love and presence) from the sight and sense of his poor people. Joh. 16.6 (like the Apostles) their hearts are filled with heavyness, they think every day a week, and every week a month, and every month a year, the time seemeth tedious till he return, till he lifteth up the light of his countenance, till he restores comforts to them (like the mother of Sisera) they are putting forth their heads crying why are his Chariot wheels so long in coming? But oh that such would remember (what I now find) that it is expedient for them that he should sometimes go away from them withholding his consolations; for the holy Ghost the Comforter shall one time or other come to such as wait for it with such joy and peace that passeth all understanding of eye, ear, and heart of man. And then long time spent in waiting shall seem but a little moment, Is. 40 2. and they shall receive double pay for all the punishments of their iniquities.  
The Children of this world (in this) are wiser in their generation then the Children of light, no discouragement of wind or rain can make them forbear their seasons of sowing in hope, nor can the interposition of many perilous months' delay, work a dissolution of the hope that is conceived. Jam. 5.7. And yet the ground they go upon affords no such footing for hope and trust, as doth that of a Christian; Mic. 1.6. how of have they sown much and brought in little? whereas a Christian (under all the improbabillities of outward sensible appearance) hath sufficient cause to be confident of a plentiful harvest. Under the furrows of dark providences lie the seed of faithful patiented endeavours which shall spring up into light and joy. Psal. 126.5. And doubtless they that sow in a w●t weeping season shall meet with a welcome harvest. The smallest seeds of faith and patience, shall stretch into certain Sheaves of joy. When the earth over-wet with showers is become a standing pool who would adventure to bestow his seed. Pains and patience had a● such a time the Ploughman calls imprudence. Be it what it will, sure I am he never lied, who hath pronounced Is. 32.20. Blessed are ye that sow [the seeds of pious endeavours] beside all waters [of depth and drowning afflictions] that send forth thither the feet of the Ox and the Ass.  
Venture then to hold on your way, keep hope and trust a going in the paths of duty. Deep mire shall one day prove a fruitful soil to thee, and the joy of the harvest, which is a shouting joy, shall so fill thy soul that many years of wearisome waiting shall seem no longer than the shortest night.  
This calling to mind those engagements which I had made unto the Lord in my low estate. viz. that if the Lord would deliver me. I would declare it to the Sons of men, and and whereas the wicked enemy had suggested to me that I should be a shame to my friends and a reproach to religion, if the Lord would redeem my soul out of his hands then would I declare abroad the glorious and renowned works and wonders of the lifter up of my head, and what a great impostor, deceiver; destroying and lying Spirit the Devil this enemy to mankind is. Hereupon (having had help from God) I have adventured these few pages into the world, may the Lord inherit the praises of his people hereby, I ●rall not value the reproaches of his enemies. May poor dropping souls understanding how Satan hath dealt, come to the sight of the net which he hath laid for them, and be persuaded to an holy constancy in resistance I shall be much rejoiced in the success.  
Let the Lord do with me and it, as seemeth good in his sight I have enough. My true Joseph is yet alive, I hope shortly I shall go up to see him, here I shall leave this Pillar of remembrance in the land of the living, it is mine.  
Eben Ezer. Hitherto hath the Lord helped me.   

A Postscript.  
BEfore I withdraw my hand, my earnest desire to promote the welfare of all men in general, but espeacially of such who (having given up their names to Jesus Christ) lie under the furious assaults of the Devil that common enemy, doth mightily engage me to speak a few words more by way of humble and hearty request. That man who hath obtained mercy and cannot show pity to others in misery, is such a monster that hath no mention in the holy Scriptures, nor other reason then to call in question whether his seeming deliverances be not real delusions. I would gladly leave a testimony of my dearest love to my Redeemer by laying out my once-doleful, now-joyful experience of inexpressible horror of mind for the benefit of three sorts of Christians espeacially.  

1. First such as at present lie groaning under the heavy burden of a wounded Spirit ●onging for deliverance.  
2. Secondly such as have once had experience of that sad condition, but are now mercifully delivered.  
3. Such as God hath dealt more gently with, not suffering them to fall into those horrible depths of disertion and temptation.   
Into the hands of some or all of these 'tis possible these lines may come, and then my first and main request (which I earnestly beg) is this; that they would offer up at least one freewill offering of thanksgiving to the mighty God of Jacob, the hope of Israel and the Saviour thereof in the time of trouble, when they shall read, what great things he hath done for me poor sinner. My poor stock will never reach to furnish the Altar with sufficient Sacrifices of praise, oh help me by glorifying God on my behalf. As his mercy hath been abundant towards me: so oh that it might be abundant to the glory of him by the thanksgiving of many.  
This being the general request I shall make a few more particular ones to those three sorts of Professors briefly in order.  
1. To the poor doubting distressed and almost distracted Conscience.  
Precious Soul! my dear fellow and companion in spiritual tribulation! the purchase of the precious blood of the Son of God conformist to Jesus Christ in his sore agonies of temptation! whom the Devil envieth, hateth, and seeketh to destroy! I know there is no condition under the Sun hath more need of pity and supplies of comfort then this of thine. and yet I know no condition more rarely pitied or more hardly comforted, thy heart knows its own bitterness. Thou thinkest so much of this, that thou canst relish no sweetness in (and therefore wilfully refusest) the Cup of sweetest and divine consolation. Oh poor soul! what weary some hours thou art made to possess, how tediously thy dismal nights of terrors pass over thee, and thou in them reduced to such confounding straits, that whither to fly from, or how to stand in the face of God's conceived displeasure, the Devils furious representations, or thy own fearful apprehensions, thou knowest not. These things having been mine old acquaintance, I hope with freedom I may be permitted to beg two or three things at your hands.  
1. That thou wouldst not let this merciful dealing of God with my soul pass without some thankful acknowledgement of thine. Lay aside thy sable weed a little, and  thy self with the Garment of praise. Praise the Lord for his goodness and for his wonderful works to the Children of men.  
Conclude not henceforth thy sores to be incurable, nor Gods long stay to be a sign that he will never come. Consider what he hath done for me and let that put a little heart in thee to conclude, that 'tis good to continue yet in a waiting posture, for surely he can and will at last do so for all such as wait for him.  
I know how apt such a soul as this will be to  the case, tempted souls shall never want arguments against themselves nor skill to manage them while the Devil hath any. Thou wilt be ready to say the case is not the same with thee as 'twas with me. Either the sin thou art troubled for or the manner of thy troubles seizing and the Devils handling thee under temptation, is not the same with mine. Something or other will be still found as matter of objection against thyself.  
To run over particulars would be long. In a word thou thinkest, possibly, as once good David in another case that all men are liars, thy temptations may beget such hasty expressions as to say▪ the case hath not been with others as they represent it; or to doubt their deliverance to be but feigned at the best, or else a short parrole, a meet reprieve, not a discharge from the like or worse enthrallment. Or if things have been truly related, it only proves what God can do not what Hell will do, as if the mercy of God did not bear an equal proportion with his power. Think of what thou wilt or canst that may make against thee, and yet I shall continue to beg.  
Give not up your hopes, hold on seeking after God you have not yet waited forty years, he will come in a time when you look not for him. Your case is not yet desperate. 'Tis not so bad with you but 'twas as bad with me.  
2. My earnest suit is also that in stead of regarding dreams, visions, voices, and other delusions: you give credit to the un-erring word of God and oppose that against them all.  
The general drift design and scope of the book of God is to persuade man, unbelieving man that God is merciful. That sin never damned any man yet, simply and of itself: but as qualified by wilfulness, and unbelief. That though God be a consuming fire a jealous God, yet fury is not in him. Is. 27.4. His jealousy he puts upon him as a Cloak, a mere covering a lose garment: and this he never puts on till provoked by the obstinate refusals of love and mercy. Even under the dark and terrible administrations of the Law how clearly did this doctrine shine forth. Exod. 34 6, 7. The Lord, the Lord, gracious and merciful long suffering and abundant in goodness and truth. Keeping mercy for thousands forgiving iniquity transgressions and sin.  
This is his name for ever this his memorial to all generations. This the strong tower of souls hungering and thirsting after righteousness. Oh let's not be beaten out of this persuasion by any Hellish suggestion. What great advantage the Devil makes of dreams, visions, and the like now under the Gospel wherein God speaketh to us only by his Son, Heb. 1.1, 2. the woeful experience I have doth in some measure manifest. The overmuch credit I gave to the delusion laid upon me in my first sickness was the root of all the rest.  
This is my second request oppose the word of God against all such Hell-hatcht conceits as would put you upon the wrack of affrighting doubts. Fly from these to that least you suffer as I have done.  
3. Moreover let me beg this that you stand not to hear what every one saith about Religion, but fall thou upon the profession and practice of real Godliness with all the speed thou canst.  
He that is a professor in truth and not in hypocrisy (to which conscience itself is able most commonly to bear witness) hath the name and glory of the Lord engaged for his relief. He that beareth his testimony for G●d and his truths in sincerity, God cannot find in his heart to do by him what in justice he might. The sins of such as these strike high at the honour of God, and therefore well might the Lord destroy and blot out their names for ever. But yet he will not. Dan 9 18, 19 They bear his name upon them, what would the more wicked part of the world say if God should arm himself with fury against his own? would they not say where is now your God? what is become of all your prayers and all your services which you pretend were done for his glory. The merciful Lord forseeth this, and his own glory restraineth the hands of the destroyer. Deut. 32.26, 27. I said I would scatter them into corners, and blot out their remembrance from among men were it not that I feared the wrath of the enemy. God will not do against the Professors of his name as much as he can: for fear lest the enemy should say and do more than he ought. Our God is seldom employed in long and wrathful rebukes of his own, when they are exposed to the outward rage of their enemy's. He spareth them then however they escape at another time.  
Oh! then let me entreat thee to make choice of the ways of holiness as the best and safeest ways to walk in. Run not to seek for shelter from your fears and sorrows amidst the profane rout of merry worldlings. Their sparks of joy cast but little light, and how soon shall that be put out? alas! poor souls the way of peace have they not known. 
City of refuge.  The horns of the Altar is the likeliest place for security against the Avenger of blood. Consort thyself with those that walk in the truths of practical piety according to the mind of God plainly revealed in his holy word.  
My deliverance God wrought for his own name sake. There were sins enough in me, fuel enough to maintain the fire of divine displeasure for ever. But the name and glory of God are precious to him. If thou hast made profession in sincerity and truth thou mayst expect deliverance more than others. A sincere professor under teoubles hath more reason to hope then others, for the glory of the Lord is engaged for his defence.  
4. I have this further to add from my own experience. That though thing expectation of deliverance must be from God, yet not without the use of means.  
'Tis the God of peace alone that can make peace in thy troubled soul, or else all thy labour will amount to nothing. The lips and labours of the most learned are but fruitless, Is. 57.19. till the Lord create the fruits of them both, and make them yield peace.  
Cent. 1.18. And yet 'tis good to feed by the Shepherd's tents. A faithful Gospel ministry is an unvalluable mercy. Their gifts in preaching and writing are the purchase of the blood of Christ. From the fountain of sacred truths are these Buckets filled. And all for the use of poor weak souls that want skill and strength of their own. God hath crowned the labours of such and made them men of renown for conversion of souls, their labours are the issue of the blessed spirit. Ob then lets not rob the Lord of his glory in raising up such lights who have spant themselves in guiding our feet in the ways of peace? by their precious labours the word of God hath been so unfolded, and the glorious attributed so explained and sweetly applied, that if poor souls have not been much advantaged the fault hath been too much their own. Let me beg of you then to praise the Lord for, and to make use of, and show all the due respect you can to these, they are the horsemen and the Chariots of the Gospel-Israel, the best visible assistance that Earth can afford for management of our spiritual war against the powers of Hell.  
By the blessing of God upon my long use of the labours of those worthy men have I found much encouragement to hold up to this day under various trials, a short account of which may conduce to my end in this particular which is to stir you up to get, and give the Lord the glory of such comfortable assistants.  
Time was when I lay under darkness, deprived of the light and comfort of God's Countenance. I thought he acted towards me as an enemy, one affliction came in upon the back of another, that my hands began to flag. My sins I apprehended to be so great that my prayers brought me in but little comfort or none at all. I was ready to cry out the decree is past. I conceited that his mercy was clear gone for ever.  
In reading Dr. Preston upon the attributes it pleased God to give me some satisfaction by reading there that there is a certain decree concerning the time appointed for every man to die yet do not we forbear to eat or take physic. and though there be a time when God doth reject a soul and cast him off (as he did Saul) yet this decree being unknown to us there is a door of hope opened for sinners yet to come to God for though the day of death be determined yet who doth neglect the use of means to preserve life? and page 93 he saith O thou poor soul wouldst thou repent and pray? wouldst thou change thy life if there were any hope? why, if there be no more grace in thee then this, and thou dost pray and repent well as thou canst: God cannot but hear thee. For he is an immutable God who hath styled himself a God hearing prayers.  
And from reverend Mr. Bridges who in his lifting up of down casts among many other things saith— Did you ever read in all the book of God that ever God did forsake a man finally that was sensible of it, and complained thereof, simply for its self, and thinks the time long and tedious till the Lord comes again 〈◊〉 such a one he concludes in the word of the Lord is not fallen totally or finally.  
So likewise when under those horrible instigations to curse, to swear, to blaspheme, and in the very act of duty or speaking of the blessed God, injections to the contrary. How hath the Lord graciously met with me and supported me by the hearing and reading of the labours of Gods faithful Ministers, Mr. Bolton in his comforting of afflicted Consciences, who tells us these are not ours but Satan's sins, and will in the day of reckoning be laid upon his score, and some comfort have I met with from Mr. Baxter in his thirty two directions and others.  
Under all my troubles God directed me to one or other of his Servants, who by speaking or writing gave much ease to my troubled mind.  
Above all others I am bound to thankfulness to God for the Comfort I received from two, one is that learned blessed man Dr. Th. Goodwin, in his Child of Light walking in darkness. The abundance of refreshment that I found from those ten directions of his in that book was such, as I am much bound to bless God for him.  
The other is Mr. Burroughs in the book I mentioned before, where especially these things were a great stay to me.  

1. That God tenders himself to all to whom the Gospel comes in a Covenant of Grace and not of works.  
2. All the good that God doth his Creatures, especial in relation to eternal Life, is for his Names sake.  
3. There is no qualification in the Creature, made by God himself, as a● condition for believing.  
4. That it is the great glory of God, and the design that he hath in this world, to glorify himself in the way of his free grace, and faithfulness towards the Children of men.  
5. That it is as delightful to Jesus Christ to have the end of his death fulfilled as it is to us to have our own Salvation.  
6. God leaves his own people sometimes without sense of his love for many good ends.  
7. God hath more glory in saving a poor Soul then in casting him off. When such a one comes in to God, freely confessing his sins, judging himself; God hath more glory in the salvation of him then in his damnation.   
That Sermon likewise of Mr. Bridges, Christ in travel, helped me much against my fears of Apostasy, and falling away, where Use 2. p. 141. he saith, if Christ will see the travel of his Soul and be satisfied, here we may see the reason why we cannot be satified with that opinion of the Saints Apostasy. This also being unsatisfactory to the heart of Christ, can a man be satisfied to see one of his members torn from him? can a man delight in it or endure it? surely than this Doctrine of falling from grace must needs be false if Christ traveleth for the salvation of his people, he shall see their perseverance.  
Thus have I acquainted you with part of the great advantage I found in making use of the labours of the Ministers of Christ, oh love them, lay out for them, look upon them as the gift of Christ for the good of you, and the Lord enlarge them, and multiply such labourers in his harvest.  
To conclude what I have upon experience to say to thee, poor sad soul; you have seen how touch misery I have felt, and how the Lord drew me out of it, therefore look upon thy condition as a mourner in Zion, Is. 61.3. chap. 33.18. to be much better than the most jovial sinner in Zion, let those dreadful chastisements of God laid upon you by the hand of Satan, either in the way spoken of, before, or in any other whatsoever, never pass with you as sufficient cause of doubting of the love of God. Learn to make a difference between matter of humiliation and matter of doubts and desperation. 2 Cor. 12.7. 1 Joh. 3.23. Satan's buffet may well beget humblings in a Paul. But cannot dissolve the Commandment of believing in the name of the Son of God. Be thy troubles what they will remember. The Mount is the place of vision. When you are at the highest top of troubles you are nighest to deliverance. Gen. 22.14. In the Mount will the Lord be seen, hath been a fruitful place of comfort to me often in my distress.  
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Is. 26.3, 4. For the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come, it will not tarry. Hab. 2.3. There hath no temptation. 1. Cor. 10.3. God shall tread Satan under your feet shortly. Rom. 16▪ 20. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of God, Lam. 3.26.  
2. 〈◊〉 word or two to you that have been in deep waters, at Hell Gates, and yet are delivered. Let me put you in remembrance of these two or three duties.  
1. Oh see that you engage your hearts unto the Lord! I will love the Lord with my whole heart. I will love him dearly. Ps. 103.1, etc. Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name. Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits, who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseases, who redeemeth thy life from destruction who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies. Oh pray that your love to him who hath delivered your souls from the snares of cruel death, and pulled your feet out of the miry Clay where there was no bottom may increase and abound more and more. Josh. 24.14, Sincere affections and dissobedience are the only returns that God looks for. Deny not these in the highest degree.  
2. Give up your lives for the Lord. Be content he shall dispose of them in the way he knoweth best for his glory. If he shall call you forth to suffer death for a testimony of your love to him and the Gospel of his Son, think it not too much for him. Well mayst thou undergo ten thousand natural deaths, were it possible, for Jesus Christ's redemption from the hands of thy spiritual enemies is cause enough for thee to serve him without fear of what man can do unto thee. Look upon thy past deliverance as things never, no never to be forgotten, nor sufficiently to be required by thee.  
3. Take care, now thou hast found him whom thy soul loveth, oh take care for his undisturbed residence.  
You know what it is to want the comforting presence of Jesus Christ, let those, who know not the terrors of the Lord, and the fearful consequents of his forsakings, venture the displeasure of him, by their slighting of his precepts, and slothfulness in his paths, but let not us do so, we that know what it is to be thrown into the depths of horror, and how hard, as well as sweet, is our recovery thence, oh let not us dare to sleep upon the top of the mast, but rather keeping fast hold upon our beloved by the hand of Faith, beg of him that he would not departed out of our hearts, lay a strict charge over all the cares and comforts, and companies, and conditions of this life, Canticles 2.7. by the Roes and by the Hinds, that they stir not up nor awake our Love until he please.  
4. If the Lord Jesus Christ shall please for his own glory to walk a while out of your hearts again, if he shall at any time withdraw the comforts of the Holy Ghost, lose not in Satan again by unbelief, distress not yourselves overmuch by giving way to the least mistrust as if he would never return, Ps. 77. and more remember his loving kindness and his works and wonders of old, think, he never goes away but when it is expedient for us, Joh. 16.7. and having already sealed us by the holy spirit of promise, given us eyesalve, enlightening our understandings in the knowledge of his love, whereby we are persuaded our names are written in the book of Life, R●m. 11.29. The gifts and calling of God are without repentance, 2 Cor. 1.10. He that hath delivered may well be trusted, that he will do so again, John 10▪ 29. No Man or Devil can take us out of the hands of God, John 13.1. Whom be loveth he loveth to the end, Phil. 1.6. He that hath begun a good work will carry it on to the day of Christ.  
5. You have been delivered from the violence of temptations, but remember that yet we carry about us such sinful natures, the Fruits of our first Parent's transgression, that would again put up his head against God and his most righteous Laws, yea and take part with Satan against him, and ourselves too, there is yet an unregenerate part, the remnant of the old Adam remaining in the best and holiest of m●n, after all the forty years' temptations of Israel in an howling wilderness and when they are brought into the Land of rest, Judg. 3. yet there the Amorite will be found, nothing but dissolution will fetch the leprosy of natural corruption out of our earthly tabernacles, Leu. 14.45. and especially will this cursed corruption annoy us with offers to do the same things, that Satan before he was dispossessed would have done, my experience tells me some of the old filth still sticks behind. The wise God will have it so, that the vileness and greatness of our old sins, might not be forgotten, that we may be poised down with humility, and put a longing after nature's dissolution, till which time sin (now twisted with our nature) will not be removed, this remnant of the old man, with its stir cannot choose but be an heavy burden to the new, Rom. 7.24. 'tis such a body, that it made the very soul of a Paul groan and cry out for a deliverance, Ex. 17.16. This ●malck God hath sworn it, that he, will have war with it for eunr.  
As good Soldiers of Christ our Captain, let us be persuaded to hold on our war against this party of corruption yet abiding in our natures, and in so doing, we have the comfort of these ensuing considerations.  
1. That this remainder of cursed nature, though it be not utterly destroyed yet shall it not have dominion over us, so as to bring forth Fruits unto death, or to be charged upon our persons to condemnation.  
Rom. 8 2. For by Christ our Lord we are dischargea and set at freedom from the Law of sin and death, being under the Covenant of grace, we have received the spirit of life and power, even that blessed spirit that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead, which hath quickened us and put life and power into us, in a good measure enabling us to crucify the flesh with its affections and lusts, Gal. 5.24. so that its dominion is taken away though its life be continued for a season.  
2. And it is but for a season that its life is continued in us, the war will not hold always, there is a time coming when we shall be delivered from this bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the sons of God, Rom. 8.19. etc. 23. and not only we but those very Creatures, the Heaven and the Earth shall be set free from that bondage of corruption, which lieth upon them by reason of the sin of man, in that day we shall be made like unto the Son of God in our measure.  
The transfiguration upon the Mount seemeth to be a resemblance of that glory, wherein Jesus Christ shall appear (as he was the Son of David) when he shall come to take the Kingdom unto himself, then shall the poor benighted Sons of the day welcome in that joyful morning with a new Song and Psalms of triumphant victory in their hands, Rev. 15.3. then shall all the enemies of our Souls be totally subdued, and even this Amalek of inbred corruption, against which we have been fight with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day, Numb. 24.20. I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel (our souls) his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever.  
3. Such a sense of sin remaining in us, as hinders our rejoicing in expectation of the future glory, or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty, but our sin.  
God will not be rob of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son. Col. 1.12, 13. 'Tis then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light.  
He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times, 
Act. 2.46. Act. 8.8.39. Act. 9.31. Act. 16.34.  may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoice, as it is for others to cry. The life of a real Christian should be a continual holiday. And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle. 1 Cor. 5.8. And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare (who himself was not only troubled with this old man, but also with blasphemous suggestions, as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition.) Let us submit, lie down, acquiese, and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his people's good. And rejoicing in our hopes of glory, and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God: so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage, not fearing men or Devils, as to perform out duties towards God, and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls. Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this. In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoicing of hope. Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief, and raise our faith into a more solid substance of things hoped for, Heb. 11.1. And a clearer evidence of things not seen. Would he but teach us how to live by faith, how rich a living would it afford us? how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities.  
That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16. are not capable of the like (man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves. Rev. 4.4. etc.) is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song.  
Oh Death where is thy st●ng oh Grave where is thy victory, 1 Cor. 15.55.  
Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withal that we should be called the Sons of God. Now are we the Sons of God. And it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him: for we shall see him as he is.  
Oh! the length the height the breadth and depth, the fullness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge.  
Now I come to the third sort of Professors ●nd they are such as have never been greatly troubled: who though they have been scared ●nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty: yet cannot say they have stuck fast within them, and that the Poison thereof ●ath at any time drunk up their spirits. To ●hese my request is that they would suffer a ●ord of warning from one who hath more ●●eply drunk of the Cup of trembling. That ●●up which his Lord and master drank to the ●ottom, that so in a little he might be con●●rmable to his head and having obtained ●ercy might be found faithful.  
The main of all I have to say to such is ●●at my hearty prayer to God for them is, ●●at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness. Col. 1.11. That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing. Remembering.  
1. The gentler deal of the Lord with them then with others, calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving. Judg. 8.16. He might have taught you with the briars and thorns of the Wilderness, whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man, Hos. 11.4. Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him. Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage. He hath gone an easier way with yo● than the way of the Philistines, Exod. 13.17 you have not seen war as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provoke you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in ever● good work.  
2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe, your danger is not so far over, but th●● you have need of caution, your great ca●● should be that your latter end might be pea●● Prise the peace of your Conscience, a●● while you are in with God, oh! keep in wi●● him still, if you let sin in, you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls. And when he is gone, all yo●● peace is gone, all your comfort of hope is gone too. A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror, sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God, and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk, and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarms of your falling lower into the depths of Hell. And how long it may be thus with you who can tell? oh! how will you be able to bear such changes as these are? learn of me, and others in like case, and be wise? think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold, or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin. Or that the remembrance of these will ransom you from, or purchase you the least gentler usuage under, the hand of terror. Your profession is no privileged condition. Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Zion. Is. 33.14. Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death. Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out. Num. 32.23.  
Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful, or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt; peremtorily refuse the one, and patiently forbear till thou art well satisfied in the other; or e●se thou playest the Bedlam in hazarding the light of God's countenance.  
Hazarding? nay, if thou belong to God, sure, sure suffering one time or other▪ and in some degree or other under the sad forsakings of the peace of thy own Conscience, and the grieved blessed spirit thy Comforter. Near relation to God will not carry thee an inch the further from his sore chastisements. Judgement gins fi●st at the house of God, 1 Pet. 4.17. You only have I known of all the Families of the Earth— therefore will I punish you for all your iniquities, Am● 3 2.  
Christians advanced to greater heights of gifts and grace than others, Mat. 11.23. had need look better to their standing then others, for if they fall it will be lower than others. Such falls though it may not break the neck 'twil be sure to break the bones, Psal. 51.8. He said well but not all. That 'tis better for a man to lose a whole estate then to tell one lie. But I say were the whole world a man's own estate 'ttwere better bid an everlasting adieu to it all, let Wife and Children far as they will; then provoke one single God to be gone in his displeasure. If he goes I partly can tell you what that is; 'tis that which I am not able to tell you for the greatness of its misery. This is thy Benjamin. If thou art bereft of this, than thou art bereft indeed. Gen. 43.14.  
3. Be ready to speak and spend, to say and do, all that you can for God.  
Your goodness cannot extend to God but there are Saints in the Earth, Ps. 16.2. let these be to thee the excellent ones, in these take thou thy whole delight. By liberal things you may be made to stand Isa. 32.8.  
God will not cast them out of his favour who have room in heart and house to entertain his Ministers cast out of all for Conscience sake. Even Moab might look for a stability of his throne upon these terms. Isa. 16.4, 5. Unmercifulness to the Ambassadors of Christ will turn his love into displeasure. Luk. 10 16. He that troubles Kingdoms for unkindnesses showed to these, Ps. 105.15. will not surely be behind with thee for thy love to them.  
To see godly rich men miserable in the da● of their brothers calamity is such a fight that the times of the Apostles had not the like. Acts 4.32. Nor can disability to spare for such uses be well alleged, while needless, feasting, unnecessary attendance costly apparel, rich presents to great men purchasing of Lands are found among them. Let's take a measure of the greatness of this sin by the proceed of the day of judgement; Where sins of omission make up the whole indictment. Mat. 25.41. etc. Christ in his Ministers, Christ in his members, may be poor, and sick, and in Prisons, and in want of Clothing. 'Slight him now, and it shall not be forgotten.  
You may hear of it when you would not, consider well, hath the long enjoying of the Gospel taken away the sweetness of it? should it not be as sweet to you now as ever it was? are not we as much concerned in it, as they were in primitive days? expect we not now as great rewards as they did then? and have we not as good security for the rich returns of such disbursments as ever they had? a Disciple of Christ, a Prophet of God, though but so nominally, melted into wants and misery by the scorching beams of persecution, is excellent water to cast your bread upon. Eccles. 11.1. When harvest comes you shall see what mighty Sheaves, what full measures, heaped and pressed down your small expense of breadcorn will amount unto. He that cannot give a little how will he be able to sell all? Mark 10.21. Let him that would have a Heaven of peace within, here, and peace above for ever, think of these things.  
4. Pray. oh! pray, and add to prayer watchfulness that he enter not into temptation. Mat. 26.41.  
Fervent Prayer can do much with God: and watching conduceth much to the fervour of our prayers. Watchfulness will prevent the terror and danger of sudden surprises. It gives a seasonable alarm to the sleepy soul to stand to its arms. He that knows what it is to pray in the Spirit, Eph. 6.18. and how, to watch thereunto with all perseverance, hath such a jewel of grace that will preserve all other graces safe. This is the Lifeguard while our King walketh in his Galleryes. Cant. 7.5. 'Tis that which (though it cannot absolutely free the soul from the plots of the World Flesh and Devil) will enable it to withstand them all, Eph. 6.13. and stand fast after all. This is truly the Wine of Angels and Poison of Devils.  
In brief then. Remember that you never suffer Satan to prevail with you for the laying aside of this blessed duty, he will set hard upon you for that end. Unworthiness of Person, want of comfort, weakness of faith, unsuccessfulness after all one thing or other will the Devil plead to make thy tempted soul restrain prayer before God. If he can but bring thee to let fall thy hands, he knows what will be the issue of the battle. Amalek did not more surely prevail against the Armies of Israel than he will against thee. Exod. 16.11. Oh! then pray, and pray again, lead us not into temptation. My woeful experience bids me tell you that 'tis a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. It may be by these means you may be kept from entering into the terror of temptation.  
Having now ended all that I have to say to those who, in sincerity making profession of the ways of God, are called by his name. My tender love to the glory of God, the God of my salvation, and my compassion of the souls of poor impenitent sinners puts me upon an adventure to write a few more words. Who knoweth but some one or other of these may read what I have here written, and in so doing see the case they stand in to be an evil case. And what cause they have (hearing what the sense of sin hath wrought in others) with all their might and main to turn back from their eager pursuit of perishing pleasures and ●●y to Jesus Christ's Person, promises, and paths, to save themselves from the wrath that is to come.  
Poor sinners! be not offended at the name, I could be willing to purchase a better title for you, even the worst of you all, with the expense of prayers and tears, I reproach you not while I thus bespeak you, nor factiously and proudly would I insinuate as if I or any upon nature's account deserved a better name: or as if different sentiments about lower matters in Religion were a sufficient cause to give out such wide distinguishing titles, alas! 'tis no such matter, I mean no other than such, whose sense and feeling of the heavy weight of sin hath been so little that to this day they have not seen any cause to cry out of their danger, and amend their do, and with all speed and diligence to inquire for, and accept of salvation offered by Jesus Christ in the ministry of the Gospel. Such as these, who (making light of the matters, the weighty matters of God and of their own souls, of the Scriptures, of Heaven, of Hell, of sin, and of holiness, of death, and of judgement) can content themselves with such and so much Religion as will secure them from the lash of human Laws, and the disquieting guilt of a natural Conscience; in the mean while spending their precious hours and days, and years, in the unprofitable works of darkness, serving divers lusts and pleasures, using the members of their bodies as servants to all unrighteousness, living in the lust of uncleanness, adding drunkenness to thirst, speaking all manner of evil of, and despitefully using, and persecuting such whose lives are not of the same fashion, thinking it strange that an● should not run into the same excess of riot with them, and least by the reproofs dropping from the lips and lives of such, their sinful pleasures should fail them, they make new sins, such as God never made, and search out iniquities, accomplish a diligent search, that somewhat might be had to throw in the faces of faithful reprovers if there be no more than the matters of their God, 'tis these I mean.  
To you Poor sinners, would I fain speak a few words. Oh! bless God that you are yet in a capacity to hear, and that your case and condition is not quite hopeless. Yet, whilst you live, we may hope that the filthyest Adulterer the most swinish drunstard, profanest sinner may obtain mercy. You have a Peradventure left you yet, 2 Tim. 2.15. that God may give you repentance to the acknowledging of the truth, and that yet, you may recover your selves out of the snare of the Devil. Yet, you may avoid the most sure and fore rewards of ungodlyness, unconceivable dread and horror, which first or last he will power out in merciless measures upon poor souls that now are Prisoners at large; and (methinks they should have little heart to hold up their heads a day would they but seriously consider how as birds in a string) they are taken Captive by Satan at his will.  
Let me beseech you for the sake of whatsoever is dear to you that you would but hearty believe, consider seriously, and remember  
1. That all that I have here written concerning the dreadfulness, and confounding horror arising from my apprehensions of God's displeasures is true; 'tis not a thing feigned, but really felt, by me. You think, it may be, that God cannot be angry; or if he be that you can stand under the ftowns of him, and that your tranquillity and present quiet in the ways of your ignorance, and dissobedience, is a Mountain that cannot be removed. But alas! you are utterly mistaken. A League with death and Hell is not to be trusted, Is. 28.15, 18. the Devil will break his promise with you one time or other, after his fair promises he will fall fowlly upon you. You think to be troubled for sin, is nothing; to have Satan and Conscience let lose upon a man, and the Lord withdraw himself from such a soul all the while, you think these things are nothing, and such thoughts make you venture to hold on in your evil ways: and 'tis hard to drive them out of you. The Law and the Prophets cannot do it easily. If you believe not these the testimony of Dives arising from the dead would be doubted to be a mere delusion, Luke 16.31. you have had my experience delivered you in fasthfulness. I have certainly found that God's permission of Satan to rage upon the Soul, is a woe, than which there is not a worse on this side Hell.  
2 Consider that though what terror I have already felt was intolerably great; yet that which impenitency and impiety will bring upon poor sinners hereafter will be incomparably more.  
This at present is but whipping with Rods, that with Scorpions. This but a painted Fire, that a real burning Fire. This hath its mixtures of mercy, that's without mixture. This is a state of darkness, but that utter darkness. Mas. 8.12. This departure of God from the soul may be in love, but that is go ye cursed. Ch. 25.41. This is made sad by the presence of the Devils, that infinitely worse, for there are none but Devils to torment, no Saint, no Angel, to give the least ease. Here time may make a better change, Eccles. 9.4. and hope may be a good anchor to preserve the Vessel from present shipwreck: but there eternity admits not the least spark of hope that things shall ever mend, and desperation shall so press down the sufferer, that nothing but almighty power can bear him up in his beirg under such eternal dread and pains.  
3. When terrors begin to arise the height of all your present confidence cannot keep you up, under the weight of sin set upon the Conscience do but consider how have the mighty fall'n? those who have been bold as Lions, committing iniquity with greedyness, not afraid to put affronts upon God or men, speak loftily, setting their mouths against Heaven and their tongues walking through the Earth; Ps. 72.3. insomuch that the confidence of, them hath almost made a David diffident to observe it, and yet how are these brought into desolation as in a moment? they have been utterly consumed with terrors. v. 19 ah poor weak man thou wilt never be able to stand under that burden of guilt which sank the mighty Angels that excel in power from Heaven into the lowermost Hell. That which makes the whole frame of nature, the whole Creation to groan, alas how will it squeeze thee into confusion? that which the Creator the mighty God was found able only to bear, and in bearing it, was not able to forbear crying out my God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me▪ Mat. 27.46. Thinkest thou that this will not be too hard and too heavy for thee? poor finner! oh think of this in time, now thou are confident and bold to commit sin but what wilt thou do in the end thereof? will the boldness of thy countenance and the height of thy confidence abide the same for ever? where is the courage of Cain? the confidence of Judas? the craft of Achitophel? and the stout hearts of thousands from the days of Cain? what's become of all these? how have these sturdy Oaks been when terror came, but as stubble before the wind, and as Chaff that the storm driveth away? are you stronger than these.  
4. Are not your sins as great as mine, and others of whose miseries you hear? are not your sins as great and as many as ours have been? you think (it may be) to far better because you presume you are better than those whom God hath plagued with his displeasure. If the say of Christ may be your guide, he tells you nay, Luke 13.3. but except you repent you shall all likewise perish. And moreover let me tell you that if gross grievous and scandalous open sinners, or secret falsehearted hypocrites were the only sufferers in this kind; the whole book of Job, the 73. Psalms, and other places of Scripture might have well been spared out of our Bibles. Oh no! I for my own part must needs say my sins, my unthankfulness, my unprofitableness, the great unsuitableness of my heart and life to the purity required by the Law and love of my blessed Redeemer are such, as that I have had, and still have abundant cause to lay my mouth in the dust and to cry out unclean, unclean, my spot in regard of these hath been very grievous, my grapes have had too too much sourness in them to put my teeth an edge as indeed they have done: but yet (to the glory of the freegrace of God) my spot hath not been the spot of the wicked. Your Vine hath been the Vine of Sodom and your Grapes are Grapes of Gall their clusters are bitter. Your drunkenness Whoredoms hellish Oaths Curse, and the like sins have been such as make it wonderful that the Almighty should spare you and punish such as mourn under their far lesser sins. I do not justify myself thereby though I must declare I know none of those things by myself. Only I repeat the question to thee again. Canst thou think God will always pass by thee unpunished seeing be hath not spared such as desire to fear his name? oh! no he will not, be confident, he will not. If he distribute sorrows in anger, if he puts his own willing people on the rack of an accusing tormenting Conscience. Where oh! where shall the ungodly and the sinners appear.  
5. Or do you think that it is not sin nor the Devil that are the cause of all those sad things that are here related: but a mere melancholy distemper of body? do you think they are but the issue of a melancholy brain, and no more.  
Briefly to this give me leave (poor sinner) to say.  
1. For myself, if these two things speak any thing in the case, then surely thou ar● quite out in thy conjectures. For.  
1. When I had my troubles of mind growing upon me. I often used the means appointed for prevention or correction of that distemper and yet my condition was the same still.  
2. When deliverance came it came suddenly. Such changes as I have felt from midnight to midday without any interposal of twilight demonstrates my distemper to have been occasioned by another hand, and for other causes then that of melancholy.  
2. For others; I go not about to deny but that 'tis possible and ordinary to meet with persons, whom the hand of melancholy hath marvellously dejected, Learned experienced men have said so. And to say otherwise (in me) may well pass for presumptions folly. Only I would express my fears lest it should prove in the ears of carnal men a Doctrine provoking to unwarrantable mirth: and in the ears of weak troubled believers an impediment to faith. I fear while good men ascribe so much of the troubles of our souls to the humours of our bodies, the care of the body should exceed that of the soul, and thereby the glory of God and quiet of our own hearts should at once be dangerously assaulted. Sure it is not for nothing that a deep silence lieth over all the holy Scriptures as to this matter; that many are the troubles of righteous, and that those troubles lie most about the heart, one design of the Holy-Ghost in those writings is to set forth; examples of which are abundant there; but not the least hint at any time as if the black and bitter waters of a disturbed mind sprang from the jarring humours of the flesh. God's anger for sin (either by way of dissertion of comfort: or infliction of temptation, by permission of Satan to tyrannise over the soul) are the only causes of every trouble; the hiding of his face begets trouble: Ps. 30.7. the causing of that to shine again is the only remedy. Job, 34.29. This is all the wisdom of God hath thought fit to publish. Ps. 4 6, 7. If we must needs say more, let's look to our inferences. Whatever hand this gross and heavy humour may have in the troubles of the soul, let the finner (willing to hold fast his iniquity by refusing to entertain hard thoughts of it) but plainly answer these things; thou thinkest that melancholy is the cause of troubles.  
1. What is the cause why any man is thus troubled with melancholy? is it not because of fin? is it not the conceived anger of an all-powerful God? or if the party troubled find no sense of divine displeasure within himself, yet who but an Atheist will deny, the wounds made upon the natural spirits or those made upon the spirit, to be both of them a punishment for sin? as nothing proves a Deity more plainly than the argument which profane Atheists most urge against it: so nothing more sets forth the deadly nature of sin, or the dangerous condition of the sinner than that very thing which is so much in use for their extenuation Atheists tell us there had been no talk of a God in the world if it had not been for fear; 'twas fear say they that found out and founded the notion of a Deity, whereas there had been (to speak truly) no such thing as fear if first there had not been a God. In like manner argue poor sinful sinners, there had been no talk of spiritual maladies had it not been for melancholy spirits, no distress of the mind but by distemper of the humours; and who begat this blackness of distempered humours? is not the hand of sin in all this! sure 'twil be granted; and if so I'll speak a word to thee anon.  
2. Thou thinkest a wounded Conscience is but a melancholy conceit; sure thou dost not think that it is so in all. Give me leave to inquire what do you think was that which troubled Adam in she day that he eat of the forbidden Fruit? what was that which un-Paradiced him so soon? he hast●es away to the thickets for an hiding-place, Gen. 3.7, 8. lays hold on the broadest Leaves he could meet with for a covering of his nakedness. What aileth him now? is he not in Paradise still, as he was before? what makes this sudden alteration? why so fearful in the cool of the evening, who in the dawning of the past morning knew not what did belong to such a state? some mighty chance must needs be in him for there was none without him. All things about him were the same, but he himself was not. No external abatement of the pleasures of sense was here as yet to be found. The ear had the same melody of the Choristers of the Woods for delight as it had before. The mouth the same rarity and variety of pleasant Fruits to feed upon, as it had before. The Flowers, and Herbs, and Spices did as liberally send abroad their sweet Odours as they did before. The sight wanted nothing of that compleatest beauty which clad the whole Creation. It had the same ravishing Object, discerning Organ, and diffusing Medium, the eye saw, the Sun shone, the creatures shown themselves as much as they did before▪ And yet poor Adam could not take that delight in any thing as he took before oh monstrous. Oh astonishing change? what will not a guilty Conscience do? when sin entered into the world what a death came upon all the comforts that were in the world? and now what footsteps of melancholy canst thou find here? it is probable that he who came but newly warm out of his maker's hands, so exactly tempered as might have made him live a life of immortality, should thus be astonished and crushed into amazing dread upon the juddain and all by the abounding of a melancholic humour! away, with this conceit. Rather think what sad work sin will one day or other make upon the soul that maketh not a speedy return and an holy, timely resistance against it.  
3. But still thou art of opinion that 'tis melancholy that doth all this mischief amongst the Sons of Adam, however it fared with their Father; well be it so, but tell me then, dost thou think that it is not possible for the● to fall into the like condition, is not the God with whom thou hast to do the God of nature as well as the God of grace, and therefore able to prohibit the comfortable influence of, and suffer discords and disorders to arise in, both? he is able to transform thee into a breathing Statue, to make this jollity and roaring mirth, to hid its head, and hold its peace: while sorrow and sadness; tribulation and anguish gnaw upon thine heart; he is able to cut off the spirit of Princes Ps. 76.12. King's cannot stand before him; they that have the greatest advantages and privileges above all other men to solace themselves in the abundance of Earthly delights: do little think how easily God can bring them down without hands; he can smite thy heart with melancholy as well as others; 'tis but for him to cross thee in the thing thou settest thine heart upon, and where art thou then? no further proof of this is needed then that of Saul. A man considering to what, by whom, over whom he was raised that might have as well expected a peaceable continuance in his great and unsought-for Royalty as any other Monarch. And yet you find it otherwise, God for his neglect of waiting patiently and believingly takes away his Kingdom; puts him under the rule of an evil spirit; 1 Sam. 16.14. The spirit of the Lord departed from him, and the evil spirit from the Lord terrified, troubled him. Thus you see 'tis not easy to dally with sin, God can make the sinner quickly weary of his life, by withdrawing the comfort and quiet of it, and filling it with so much terror and horror, that there shall not be the least room left for pleasures. I told you of Nabuchadnezzar, of Cain, Bellshazzer, and Judas, and now of Saul; and you yourselves may possibly remember what doleful examples have been in your own knowledge: how those who spent their days in pleasure, putting Heaven to defiance by their ungodly conversations, have some of them at least been glad to be beholden to the Knife; to the Halter; to the Water; to the Sword, to the Bullet, etc. to help their tormented souls out of their weary bodies. So exquisite is that torture arising from an awakened Conscience, that it puts the patiented upon a miserable choice of ending his present agonies with the adventure of an infinitely more worse, rather than abide the woe that is therein. Poor man! such a thing as this can the hand of the Lord once lifted up against thee bring upon thee, Thou thinkest thou hast little cause to fear falling into the depths of terrors because resolved to avoid melancholy by a merry life. Thou conceivest that to be the only cause of any one's distress, and therefore not so much to be feared. But, were this true, alast! thou hast the greater cause to sear. Thine enemy is within thy own bowels. As Physic doth not always preserve him who with the greatest care and constancy observeth its rules; but oftentimes apparently, brings to an untimely end: so carnal joys do by inward peace, preserve it they may a while, but many times destroy it, by provoking the just God to arise in his wrath. But however this is most certain; corporal medicines cannot immortalize any man's person; nor can carnal mirth any man's peace; assuredly God will break that peace that is not purchased by the blood of Christ's Cross. One time or other (call it melancholy or what you will) that fit of fears shall so closely follow the now presumptuous soul that no carnal, no corporal cordial, nothing but a touch of that hand that cast down, will be able to rid away. Such an evil that no King can cure but he whose prerogative it is to kill and make alive out of whose hand none can deliver. Deut. 32.29.  
6. Remember judgement is already gone out against thee, the sentence wants nothing but execution. The righteous Law of God which he is resolved to magnify and make it glorious hath already declared what shall be the end of impenitency.  
Bless not thyself with vain thoughts that God will spare any one for his greatness or for his goodness, or his meanness, or for any thing but his own Sons righteousness; and such also must not go free without their share of a wounded Conscience. 4. especial hours of temptation. At the beginning of Spiritual life; or the end of natural; or upon some heinous fin committed, or heavy affliction let out; God usually at one of these times more or less, will have every one to know by sad experience, that he himself is a righteous sin-hating God: that the Devil is a malicious soul-hunting enemy: that they themselves are in a miserable and forlorn condition without a multitude of tender mercy no way to be had but by a Christ. The Law spares none, and the Lawmaker is a God of truth that will keep up the authority, and honour, of his own say to a little. Oh! take the book of the Law in your hands then, and let the truth of that, strike such a terror into thee that may make thee to betake thyself to the love and life of Christ with strong cries to save thee from the terror of that wrath that is to come.  
If you will not hearken unto me and will not do all these Commandments. And if you shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgements, so that you will not do all my Commandments but that ye break my Covenant. I also will do this unto you: I will even appoint over you terror. Levit. 26.14, 15, 16.  
If there be among you a root that beareth Gall and Wormwood, and it come to pass when he heareth the words of this curse, that he bless himself in his heart saying I shall have peace though I walk in the imagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst: the Lord will not spare him but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousy shall smoak against that man and all the curses that are written in this book shall fly upon him, and the Lord shall blot out his name from under Heaven, and the Lord shall separate him unto evil. Deut, 29.19, 20. According to all the curses of the Covenant that are written in this book of the Law.  
Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no man regardeth, but ye have set at nought my counsels and would none of my reproofs, I also will laugh at your calamity, I will mock when your Fear cometh. When your Fear cometh as desolation, and your Destrection cometh as a whirlwind, when Distress and Anguish cometh upon you, etc. Prov. 24 etc.  
How express is the holy Law of God? terror hath an appointed season, distress and anguish lie in the Womb of time, God hath hi● vials of wrath: tribulation and anguish to powr●●● upon enery soul of man that doth evil. Rom. 2. 〈◊〉 and who knows what a day may bring forth. Prov. 27.1.  
7. How many a time hath Hell-fire flashed in thy face already, and yet thou returnest not? I mean how oft hast thou found terror seizing upon thee at all times which, yet, thou hast shaken off again. I can hardly believe there is any sinner in the world that now sinneth with the greatest delight and freedom, but findeth that his way is beset with dangers. I know not what may be said of such who live in Countries where the word of God hath not been familiarly taught, the Apostle of the Gentiles seemeth to speak the same thing plainly concerning them. Even they have witness bearing Consciences, and thoughts the mean while accusing, or else excusing one another: Rom. 2.15. The Devils servants have an hard Apprenticeship before they be made free. They sin with much bondage before they come to sin with delight. The spirit of God hath striven with them, their own hearts have smitten them, secret warnings have they had within themselves, oh! do not this thing which God hateth! now what do these things mean? why, they show you what is like, nay sure, to be the wages of sin; that God will not be blamed when he shall sentence you to an eternal bondage under his heavy wrath. He now would have frighted you out of your sinful state and you would not; he sent his spirit to strive with you, and wring your weapons of sin out of your hands, and you would not let them go; he gave you some tastes of the Cup of trembling; shook the full bottles of wrath before thy eyes, which he might have put to thy lips and held them fast there until thou hadst been overwhelmed with terrors. He drew his bow, and whet his sword, that thou beholding that, mightest prepare thy se●f to escape the prepared instruments of death. So that poor sinner; thou art not an utter stranger to the things that I am persuading thee to think off, the terrors of God. Some small appearances, may be, have been sometime found in thee, upon commission of some extraordinary sin. Well, see to it, this is the bitter root which, though thou labour to bury it under the Earth a while, will without doubt spring up into a mighty tree bringing forth the fruits of shame, pain, and death.  
8. Thou goest on merrily in the way of thine own heart labouring to suppress thy sorrows at the first rising. Thou hast no thoughts of thy latter end, which thou smotherest not in their very beginning. But remember, though thou fearest not thyself now upon the Earth, but thy danger is better thought off in Hell.  
Oh I think with thyself that the story of damned D●v●s was not penned from the mouth of Christ in vain; Luke 16.27. etc. rather judge it to be, as indeed it is, an argument fetched from Hell to carry thee over into the ways of Heaven. All thy old acquaintance and relations who (once, while they were in the Land of the living) spent their days in pleasure, drawing thee on to use the good things that are now present; Wisd. 2.6 etc. Come on let us fill ourselves with costly wine and Ointments, and let no flower of the Spring pass by us. Let us Crown ourselves with Rose-bud, before they be withered; let none of us go without his part of our jollity: let us leave tokens of our joyfulness in every place; for this is our portion, and our lot is this. Let us oppress the poor righteous man; let our strength be the Law of justice; let us lie in wait for the righteous: because he is not for our turn, he is clean contrary to our do, he upbraideth us with our offending the Law: and objecteth to our infamy the transgressings of our education. He professeth himself to have the knowledge of God, and he calleth himself the Child of the Lord; he was made to reprove our thoughts; he is grievous unto us even to behold: for his life is not like other men's, his ways are of another fashion; we are esteemed of him as counterfeit false come: he abstaineth from our ways as from filthiness; he pronounceth the end of the just to be blessed, and maketh his boast that God is his Father; let us see if his words be true, and let us prove what shall happen in the end of him. For if the just man be the Son of God he will help him and deliver him from the hand of his enemies let us examine him with despightfulness and torture him that we may know his meekness and prove his patience let us condemn him with a shameful death, for by his own saying he shall be respected.  
In contemplation, follow these boon Companions down to Hell, and you shall find them of another mind, Wisd. 5.2 etc. There they shall be troubled with terrible fear, and shall be amazed at the strangeness of the despised righteous man's salvation so far beyond all that they looked for. And repenting and groaning within themselves for anguish of spirit shall say. This was he whom we had sometimes in derision and a Proverb of reproach we fool's accounted his life madness and his end to be without honour. How is he numbered among the Children of God, and his lot is among the Saints? therefore have we erred from the right way, we wearied ourselves in the way of wickedness and destruction; what hath Pride profitted us? or what good hath riches with our vaurting brought us? all those things are passed as a shadow; and as a Post that hasteth away: and as a Ship that passes over the waves of the water: or when as a bird hath flown through the air; or like an arrow shot at the mark, the trace of which cannot be found: even so we as soon as we were born, began to draw toward our end, and had no sign of virtue to show: but were consumed in our own wickedness.  
By this time the stout hearts of sinners will be brought down, those whom the evidence of truth (shining in the testimonies of the Prophets and Apostles) could not convince or convert from their evil words and ways, sad experience will work upon; if they cannot remove their pains, fain would they diminish or prevent the increase of them. I pray thee Father Abraham that thou wouldst send to my Father's house, for I have five brethren, lest they also come into this place of torment, Luk. 16.27, 28.  
For shame let not Hell have more charity than earth, thy old companions in the burning Lake would not by any means be troubled with the company of thee, whom they engaged and encouraged in evil ways, they have fins and sorrows enough of their own without the addition of others to weight them down into everlasting confusion, here it may be some comfort (but an envious one) to have many companion in the like misery but there (in Hell) 'tis nothing so.  
Think then, shall those that have been in the suburbs of Hell by spiritual desertions, or those who are really gone down thither never to return, wish me to look to it that I never come into that place of torment, and shall not I whom it most of all concerns, befriend my own precious soul with a serious seasonable consideration of its eternal danger? God forbidden.  
9 If thou wilt but now at last be willing it is more than possible thou mayst be hid from or in the day of the Lords wrath.  
Resolve with thyself fully that thou wilt now enter the ways that God, by the Gospel of his Son, hath chalked out for the ways of peace, and walk therein, endure the troubles of an holy Life, eat not the spiritual worship of God; think not the griefs arising from true repentance; or the troubles, God (by wisdom and love) shall permit Satan to inflict upon thee, to humble thee for thy past sins, or patiented passing through many tribulations, to be sufficient causes to quarrel with God or his ways, or worship, or people, think not, oh think not God, the merciful God, the God who is Love, that he is an hard Master venture thy talon abroad, act what thou hast for the glory of the giver; thou shalt not complain of thy returns of mercies. They shall be sure, if not swift mercies that holiness will entitle thee unto Is. 15.3. Thou mayst be sure where grace leads the Van, glory and peace shall bring up the Rear▪ Is. 52.12.  
Complain not that thou wantest power to turn thyself from sin to holiness; from self to Jesus Christ; from nature to grace, till thou hast faithfully employed the power thou already hast; if God hath made thee willing, he will not fail to make thee able, what is hard to the flesh, shall be easy and delightful to the spirit, John. 14.6. the way thou walkest in, giveth Life, Heb. 10 20. a Life of duty, and a Life of glory 'tis a living way.  
But dally not overlong, say not within thyself, shall I do it? must I leave my old sins? when shall I begin? make no longer If's and And's, but be up and doing. Behold now is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation, 2 Cor 6.2. Let it alone till a little longer, and then a thousand world will not afford an hiding place from the wrath to come.  
10. I● God hath spared thee many years, not letting out his terrors upon thy soul for sin, thou hast no cause to flatter thyself, but to tear the more, the longer terrors are in coming the more terrible when they come, and come they will one time or other.  
As comforts long withheld from the child of God, come in greater abundance at the last so do terrors to the wicked. Lam. 3.27. In this sense it is good to bear the yo ak●●n ones youth. God's forbearance is no forgiveness, and greater must that fire be whose fuel hath been long in gathering, Rom. 2.5. Thou heapest up wrath against the day of wrath, long impenitency and hardness of heart, will make thy pile of such a bulk, that when the breath of the Lord shall kindle it, who can quench it? two vials are always filling together, the one is here below, the other above, the vial of sin, and the vial of wrath, or else the vessel of grace and the vessel of glory; look to it then, as these vessels fill apace on earth, so do those in Heaven, unhappy is that Soul whom God doth not take off from his work of filling up the measure of sins, by pouring out the vials of his wrath while it is yet little. You flee from the pains of repentance to a merry Life, you do what you can to gag the mouth of conscience to prevent your own disturbance made by its loud cries, lay aside the Scriptures (as bankrupts do their books) lest too much searching should beget sadness, reproach the Godly man because he is your reproof, do by the powerful painful Ministers of Christ (as the storied town of sluggards did by their Smiths) drive them away that you may sleep the longer, or in plain terms love darkness rather than light, lest you should be reproved by the light, but silly worm! what art thou doing all this while? thou fliest from the Adder and the Serpent will by't thee, thou fliest from thy friend to an enemy; from the Lance of a Chirurgeon to the deadly wounds of an adversary; from God's way of healing thee by gentlet means, from pricking of thy heart; till a dart strike through thy Liver, in a word, all thy care is to shift off present, needful, temporal, gentle correction and fatherly chastisement, but this is not thy way, thou blessest thyself with thoughts that thy conscience shall never trouble thee; but it will not be, the longer God forbears to handle thee thou shouldst fear the more. I have done what I could to employ the talon of my experience for thy profit. I know a wounded conscience to be such a Guest that no man can fall in Love with it, but rather than abide under an ignorant, flattering seared conscience, let my portion be a wounded one, the next remove of this, may be, (yea shall be in every child of God; from horror to healing, peace and rest, whereas the other labouring to avoid wounds here will fall into woe and a worse condition for ever.  
Do as you like, since it will be no otherwise. I for my part shall pray hearty with that good man, Lord here launce me! here burn me! here tear me? so thou spare me for ever.   
THE END.   

HAving spoken something of Satan's stratagems in my preceding treatise I intended to have spoken no more of that subject. But since the writing thereof that wicked one Satan hath made his attempts upon me again, endeavouring by his old way to carry on his former designs, and as I have declared his forelaying the way for the catching of poor sinners before sin committed: I shall now speak a word or two of his methods and devices in the pursuing the servants of God after the Lord hath showed great mercies, and hath appeared unto them. To the intent that I may further discover his wiles and temptations, whose malice is great against God and the Sons and Daughters of men, but especially against the Saints, and by reason of his great power, being an Angel (though of darkness) he not only acts his own servants and slaves as he is the Prince of the air, that ruleth in the Children of dissobedience, but acteth upon Gods own Children and servants that fear the Lord. As I shall give you several instances, as namely upon Jobes three friends; (though godly men) how he did act them to have persuaded Job to confess himself an Hypocrite, put it ●nto the heart of Judas to betray his Master; ●e● and Peter 100, to persuade his Lord and Master that none of those things should be●●ll him at Jerusalem, which Christ himself had foretold should come to pass: yea, how did he prevail with the Scribes and pharisees to complot and agree with the Soldiers, to say his Disciples came by night and stole him away, endeavouring thereby to have concealed the Resurrection, and so to have blasted the work of man's Redemption.  
I shall now speak a word or two more, of hingeneral practise upon the world, for it is said the world lieth in wickedness, therefore must needs be acted by that wicked one, who rueth in the Children of disobedience, (that is upon the generality of the men of the world) The gate of Heaven being straight and few of the Sons and Daughters of men go thither, (in comparison of the world) God Almighty all along from the beginning, for the carrying on of his glory, and building up his Church, hath poured out his spirit upon the Sons of men making some Prophets, and some Apostles, and that upon the meanest of men; as you see the Prophet's Herdsmen and men of mean occupations, and the Apostles Fisher men; for you know it is said, not many noble, not many great, nor many wise after the wisdom of the world, for by such mean men, the Lord doth make his glory, and wisdom, to be more conspicious, when these that are illiterate, and not bred up at the feat Gamaliel, when such as these shall confound the wisdom of the world, his glory shines more illusterously, (though without human● learning, for having received the wisdom of the spirit are made wise to salvation, discoruing not only the mysteries of man's redemption, but their own particular salvation through Christ; which the wisdom of the world knew not: And so the Prophets and Apostles have had the honour of being Pen men of the Scripture; by the holy Ghrist: so that the words which they spoke, shall be the standing word, by which the world shall be judged. But such is the present condition of these times, that the Lord hath given his spirit and excellent gifts, to be improved for his glory: O, how duth the men of this world acted by Satan being indeed his main master piece, sets his own Instruments upon the servants of God, by reproachful terms, and all other ways of mischief and in a taunting deriding way of scorn, crying our; O you have the Spirit, O you are Saints, and you can preach. Whereas surely it may be replied unto them if they have not the spirit, they are none of Christ's, and if none of his servants then you know what you are, if not Saints, then Davils, and without holiness, you shall never see the Kingdom of God; And to others in a taunting manner you are Preachers, surely if God hath given out such gifts, though they do no● take upon them the ministry, yet such gifts may be employed to edification, and to build up themselves and others in the faith of the Gospel: why then should this be offensive, doth not the Apostles say, if any may hath a word of exhortation let him speak.  
Suppose that God hath given such parts, for from him, cometh every good and perfect gift. Will you reproach the spirit of the living God, or obscure the graces of God. O this indeed is a mighty Stratagem of Satan, whereby he doth much hinder the glory of God, what if God hath given grace and gifts to mean Persons as mean as Fisher men? I say to Glover's. Shoemakers, Tailors, Weavers, and other Tradesmen, and why not as well as Fisher men, Herds men, and Tent-makers? shall not their gifts be improved? It is true the Prophets and Apostles, had the spirit given them in great measure, and shall not God give unto such, as before mentioned in their measure? Alas, I would ask you by what spirit do these men act, who are so industerous to improve, all their knowledge, and utmost endeavours to walk exactly in all the Commandments of God; having respect thereunto? shall such be reproached? But it may be objected that these men have not human● learning, they have not been at the Universities, well then: It is grace that makes a man more excellent than his Neighbour, I do not speak against human● learning, it may be a good handmaid to Divinity, but grace must be in the Chair, she must be Mistress: grace is the glorious Ornament that makes the poor Saints shine in their conversations, and glorify their Father which is in Heaven, when the men of great human● learning oftentimes, drown themselves in the ways of the world, and make their condemnation to be the greater by it.  
And by their scandelous lives bring dishonour to God, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but the day draweth near, when the Dragon, Beast, and false Prophet with the Locusts of Hell shall be bound up together, and cast into that fire, which burneth with fire & brimstone, for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it, when the feet of him shall be beautiful upon the mountains, that publisheth peace and salvation: saying unto Zyon thy God reigneth; then shall the voice of thy watchmen be heard, and lift up their voice, and shout together, for they shall see him eye, to eye, when the Lord shall give deliverance to Zyon.  
I shall give you one instance more, and that is of myself sins the Lord came into my soul witnessing he had given me eternal sife, as I have declared and set forth in my blesphemous thoughts, and when we shall take in hand the performance of the duties of God's worship, as singing of Psalms, reading the word, and in Prayer, when we give the Lord his glorious titles, he is ready to thrust the contrary unto our hearts, and plays the Devil indeed to contradict what we say, and by the assistance of that unregenerate proceeding lines; He I say Satan hath so endeavoured to do me all the mischief that possible he could, not leaving a stone unturned that tended that way. And by reason of the indwelling of sin the remainder of the curse for our first transgression, which the best of God's servants do carry about them, taking advantage thereof, being like unto Tinder that is ready to take fire as soon as is touched, doth cast his fiery darts into our souls, part within us, our hearts are ready to oppose every truth of God, and so we have a daily warfare and great strive, to keep our hearts from consenting to his wicked injections, and much ado to bring them into a subjection unto the truths of God, and like unto the Bird that hath a dog tied unto his leg, whereby he is hindered from flying up into the Air, and so by his impressions left upon our souls, which is so weighty a burden that unders us from soaring up to Jesus Christ by 〈◊〉, and so vigilant is that cursed enemy to the glory of God, and man's salvation that he goeth about day and night, seeking whom he may davour, and taking advantage of our weakness in our sleeps, annoying us often with sinful dreams, then laying his delusions upon us, who still pursuing me according to his former methods, lately in the night, acted upon me in my sleep, as though I had been in the number of them, who were dragged from the Tribunal seat to Hell, having received the sentence of condemnation with the damned: and all this to the end and purpose, it possible he could to have blasted that glorious mercy I received from the Lord by the witness of his blessed spirit that God did rather take the advantage of the greatness of my sins, for the magnifying of his mercy; rather than his justice in my condemnation, and that I was of Abrakams' family as I have declared in my Narrative, (in the day: when the Lord gave me deliverance out of his hand) But so impudent is this fiend of Hell, called by the word of truth a liar from the beginning, and so the Father of lies, using his old trade towards me, (with the subtlety of the old Serpent, and all this to daunt my faith) and to have blasted the mercy which I received from my gracious God, who hath laid it upon my soul by such a witness, that I believe and know all the Devils in Hell shall not be able to overthrow it. And that I may magnify and set forth the goodness of God, I will take up the words of the Proph●t Isaiah, O Lord my God, I will exalt thee and praise thy name for ever for thou hast done wonderful things according to thy council of old, thou hast been a strength to the needy in his troubles, a refuge against the tempest, so that the blast of the mighty was as a stor●● against the wall, the Lord will destroy death, and wipe away tears from the faces of his, and take of their rebakes: the Lord hath spoken it, and ●ill make it good, and in that day will men say ●●lo this is our God, we have waited for him, yea in the way of his judgements he will save us, and we will be glad in his salvation: He shall bring down the pride of Moab, and lay their defensed walls as low as the dust, in that day, shall this song be sunged, in the Land of Judah, we have a strong City, salvation shall God s●t for walls and bulworks; Open ye the gates that the righteous Nation may enter therein, for by an assured purpose wilt thou preserve in perfect peace for ever, because they trusted in thee: Trust in the Lord for ever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. Thou wilt make equal the righteous way of the just, the desire of our souls is to the remembrance of thy name: for when thy judgements are upon the Earth, the Inhabitants of the Earth shall learn righteousness, even they that fear thy name, but the wicked will not do so, nor behold the Majesty of the Lord: O Lord, they will not now behold thy hand, but they shall see it, and be confounded with the zeal of thy people, but unto us, thou wilt ordain peace, for thou kast wright all our works for us, thy dead men shall live, and with my body shall they arise, even with my body, and shall behold the King in his beauty. Awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust, thy dew is as the dow of kerbs, and the Earth will cast out his dead, and in that day of this power shall the coming in be, like the drops of dough that arise from the Womb of the worning: Thou hast drunk of the brook in the way, therefore shall thy head be lifted in that day; for the Lord ●●m●●h out of his place to visit the iniquity of the Inhabitants of the Earth, and the Earth shall disclose his blood And to receive the Kingdoms for his inheritance and the utmost parts of the Earth for his possession beirg Heir thereunto by donatian of the Father, and ●h●n shall that good word of the Lord be ●●de good, that at the ●●me of Jesus every knee shall bow, both in Heaven and Earth, and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is both Lord and King, to the praise and glory of the Lord, for the Father hath said, when he brirgeth his first begotten again into the world, 〈◊〉 all the Angels, and every Creature worship him. And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh, shall see together. O Zion that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the Mountains, O Jerusalem that bringest good ridings, lift up thy voice with strength, be not afraid, say to the Cities of Judah, behold your God, behold he cometh with power, and his arm shall rule, behold his Reward is with him, and his work before him, and he shall feed his flock like a Shepherd, and gather his lambs in his arms, and carry in his bosom, and guide them with them which are with young. It is he that hath measured the waters in his fists, covered the Heavens with a span; comprehended the dust of the Earth in a measure, weigheth the Mountains in Scales, and the Hills in Balances. Who hath instructed the spirit of the Lord, of whom took he Counsel; Who instructed him, and taught him in the way of his judgements? Behold the Nation are as a drop of water, or counted as the dust o● the Balance; He taketh up the Isles as a little thing, Lebanon not sufficient for a fire, nor the beasts thereof for a burned Offering: to whom the will you liken God, he sitteth upon the Circle of he Earth, and the inhabitants are as Grasshoppets; he spreadth out the Heavens like a Curtain, he bringeth the Princes to nothing, and maketh the Judges of the Earth as vanity, to whom then will ye liken me saith the holy one, lift up your eyes, and behold who hath Created all these things: he bringeth out his Armies by number, and calleth them all by their names: by the greatness of his strength nothing faileth. O ye suffering Saints, why say you my way is hidden from the Lord? and my judgement passed over of my God; know you not, or have you not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lords of the ends of the Earth, is neither weary nor fainteth, but giveth strength to him that fainteth: the young men shall faint and be weary, but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle, they shall run and not faint. In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house, shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for.  
O thou eternal being of beings, whose name is Jehovah; the Lord of Hosts, who hast made the Heavens; the earth, the great sea, and all the Creatures therein, for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency, that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes, we might know thy power, wisdom, and goodness, and fear thy great and glorious name, and truly Lord, thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands, and said they were very good, O the great engagements of love and obedience, thou hast laid upon us in that day, when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands, and for our use, putting all things in subjection under our feet, but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness, whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands. But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law, which thou gavest us to keep as the Trial of our obedience, and by giving more credit unto Satan, in believing him and what he said, than the threaten of thee our God, and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity, in delivering us into the hands of Satan, so that we who came from their loins, came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan, that we are born thine enemies, children of wrath; and heirs of vengeance, and bringing upon ourselves a woeful necessity of sinning against thee. O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents, and we their posterity, to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption. But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents, letting out that gracious promise, That the seed of the woman should break the serpent's head, revealing mercy by a second Adam to come, and so entering into a new covenant, (not of works) but of grace, that believing in him, we should have eternal Life. O gracious Father how didst thou magnify thy mercy, over the works of thine hands, and didst do a work more wonderful than the Creation, in giving the eternal word, the brightness of thy glory, the express Image of thyself, thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation, to take upon him the nature of man, and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union, joy, the humanity to the deity, that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of man's Redemption, a work so wonderful, that all the Angels could not have devised, and into which they pry into with admiration, that thereby he might make such an atonement, that might satisfy for the sins of man to the utmost, and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have Eternal Life. And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation, the witness of thy truth, wherein thou hast made known to us, that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ, that immaculate Lamb of God, who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice, and by his sufferings, merits, and Righteousness, Resurrection from Death to Life, hath canceled the Law of condemnation, taking down the wall of partition, and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness. And now hast given us precious promises, that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us. And now dear Father of Heaven, what was I, or my Father's family, (but a sinful generation of men.) That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was, and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mystery of man's Redemption, and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit, should seal unto me the pardon of sin, in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon. And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears, under many desertions, and dreadful temptations, and many various dispensations, (which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage) breaking into my Soul with so much love, that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy. And now Lord of thy goodness, hast called me from the ways of the world, to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life, and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love, (a Love to admiration, a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof, and that I might declare what a God thou art, according to mine engagement, and that I might exalt thy glorious name, and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth, have made bold to present these lines to the public view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me (the worst of the sons of men) and the greatest of sinners, (if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me) and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written, in good part, and let thy blessing so go along with it, that the delusions, methods, devices, and temptationt of Satan that old cunning Serpent, may be so discovered to poor souls, that lie under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby. When they shall read this small discourse of thy gracious actings with me. O let thy blessing be upon i●; that they may receive comfort thereby, that thy goodness may be magnified (which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the public view) who never thought my nam● should have appeared in such a way. And now dear Father, I humbly beseech thee, manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth, that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ, forgiving iniquity transgression and sin, and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfil thy word, in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon, who hath died her garments red in the blood of the Saints, that we may say Babylon, Babylon is fallen, and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Sceptre of thy Son, the Gospel, whom thou hast made King of Kings, and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession, (who is heir of the world, by thy free donation.) O bring forth that glorious day, that thou speakest of by thy servant Isaiah, when the Sun shall be ashamed, and the Moon abashed, when the Lord▪ shall reign in Mount Zyon, and Jerusalem, before thine ancients gloriously, and that thou wilt open the mouths of thy servants, to preach and declare, that deluge of fire, that shall cause the Heavens to melt and the Earth to be burnt up, which thy servants Peter Malachi and Isaiah, have preached many hundred years of by the word of the Lord, telling it shall come to pass, (which now in this day is almost forgot.) That so it may not come upon this Generation unawares, as the flood 〈◊〉 upon the old world. But make thy servants mouth as a Trumpet to proclaim the day of the Lords vengeance by fire, which he will contend with all flesh by. The mouth of that dreadful God which did destroy the old world by water hath spoken it, and will certainly bring it to pass, for he shall come in flaming fire to render vengeance on his enemies, (who is now a Lamb) but then will be a Lion, in which dreadful day the greatest of men shall cry to the Mountains to cover them, and the Rocks to dash them in pieces, who would not let him Reign over them, and to reward his poor servants, that now suffer for his glory: And so come Lord Jesus come quickly. Amen. Amen.  
FINIS.   

A Song of Praise.  
Psalm 145.  

1.  
MY God oh King! I'll thee extol  
and I will bless thy Name,  
For ever still, and ever will  
I spread abroad thy Fame.   

2.  
Thee every day extol will I  
and I thy Name will praise,  
For evermore and ne'er give e'er  
till Death shall end my days.   

3.  
Great is the Lord, and greatly too  
he to be praised is,  
And to be sought beyond all thought  
no greatness like to his.   

4.  
One generation praise thy works  
unto another shall,  
And shall declare how great how rare  
thy mighty acts are all.   

5.  
I will the glorious honour of  
thy Majesty unfold,  
My glory sings of wondrous things  
that never can be told.   

6.  
Men shall likewise the power of  
thy dreadful acts declare,  
With them will I to magnify  
thy greatness bear a share.   

7.  
They of thy mighty goodness, and  
likewise thy righteousness.  
In memory, abundantly  
with Songs shall it express.   

8.  
Jehovah he is gracious  
and of compassion full,  
To anger flow his mercies who  
can ever dissanul.   

9  
Jehovah he is good to all  
his tender mercies fly,  
Abroad so far all his works are  
clean overspread thereby.   

10.  
They shall O Lord thy works all praise  
and they thy Saints shall bless,  
Thy Kingdoms glory thy Saints shall story  
and talk of thy greatness.   

11.  
That to the Sons of men might be  
his mighty acts made known,  
And gloriously in Majesty  
his Kingdom might be shown.   

12  
Thy Kingdom is a Kingdom still  
an everlasting one,  
To ages sure still doth endure  
thy great dominion.   

13.  
The Lord upholdeth all that fall  
he underprops his own,  
Up raiseth he all these that be  
with troubles bowed down.   

14.  
Upon thee wait the eyes of all  
them thou their meat dost give,  
Seasonably, and opening thine hand  
feedest all things that live.   

15.  
Jehovah he is righteous  
righteous his ways are all,  
His works are pure, merciful, sure,  
and very liberal.   

16.  
To all that call upon him stands  
Jehovah very nigh,  
They shall not fall that on him call  
if in sincerity.   

17.  
Those that do fear him the desire  
of such he will fulfil,  
And if they cry assuredly  
deliver them he will,   

18.  
Jehovah doth preserve all them  
that hearty him love,  
The wicked all the right hand shall  
of vengeance them remove.   

19  
The praises of the Lord my mouth  
shall willingly express,  
His name 'tis fit, let all flesh it,  
for ever ever bless.