THE Last Will and Testament OF Father Petre's.  

[1]  
IN his Holiness' Name,  
With Amen I proclaim  
My Last Will and Testament following;  
Who in Body am Well,  
But in Mind monstrous Ill,  
While in dismal Despair I am wallowing.   

[2]  
My Soul I bequeath  
To the Regions beneath,  
It has long to the Devil been due;  
To be tortured with Pain  
Worse than I did ordain  
To inflict on the Heretic Crew.   

[3]  
My Body a Pledge  
I give to the Sledge,  
To ride on't to Tyburn in State;  
And there in a Cart  
Before I depart  
All my Villainous Actions relate.   

[4]  
When the Rout I've harrangued,  
To submit to be Hanged,  
And e'er Dead to be Cut down, and Quartered;  
While each Blockhead and Whore  
Dips a Clout in my Gore,  
To proclaim to the World I am Martyred.   

[5]  
My Politic Head,  
With my Quarters, when dead,  
Each one to be Perched on a Pole;  
Thus by Prophetic Spirit,  
According to Merit,  
I've disposed of my Body and Soul.   

[6]  
And next, I declare,  
Not to mention an Heir,  
My Executor wholly and full;  
That hopeful young Spark,  
Though at present i'th' dark,  
Yet will shine like the Moon at the full.   

[7]  
My Funeral Charge,  
As it will not be large,  
So 'twill take up less room in my Will,  
But was it much more,  
Since I die on this score,  
He'll never be troubled with Bill.   

[8]  
It may do the Youth good,  
For all his High Blood,  
'Tis full Threescore Thousand complete;  
As 'twas gained by a Fool,  
So I leave't to a Tool,  
While the Church and Relations I cheat.   

[9]  
My Books, though not many,  
For I never loved any,  
He may keep for his private occasions;  
They're of Riddles and Dreams,  
From whence I took Themes  
To furnish myself with Orations.   

[10]  
The rest of my Stuff,  
Since he has enough,  
I bequeath to a pretty young Sinner,  
'Twill furnish a Room,  
To practise at home,  
And encourage a hopeful Beginner.   

[11]  
I'll not give him the trouble  
To pay the Priests double,  
To pray me from Purgatory;  
For that, like the rest  
Of our Creed, is a Jest,  
Just as true as the Song of John Dory.   

[12]  
For if there's a Hell,  
I deserve it so well,  
I need not despair of the Place;  
And none but an Ass  
Will believe that the Mass  
Can ever restore him to Grace.   

[13]  
I confess there are Fools  
Which our Church daily gulls,  
And particularly with this Notion,  
Who when they do pray,  
Know not one word they say,  
'Tis their Ignorance helps their Devotion.   

[14]  
But I'm wide of my Text,  
Being damnably vexed,  
To see how we Jesuits are fooled;  
And your Prospect of Peace  
Does my Torments increase  
More than losing my Life and my Gold.   

[15]  
On our Brotherhood all  
May my last Blessing fall,  
And on every Monk, Friar, and Priest;  
May they, ere 'tis too late,  
Partake of my Fate,  
And become every Heretic's jest.   

[16]  
I would have enlarged,  
But my Conscience discharged,  
I'll here make an end of my Sermon;  
And wish all this throng  
May be damned, old and young,  
And so drive away, honest Carman.    

LONDON, Printed in the Year 1688.