A LAW AGAINST CUCKOLDOM: OR, THE TRIAL OF ADULTERY.  
LONDON: Printed in the Year 1700.   

THE PREFACE.  
CUCKOLDOM, that bugbear Misfortune, (in former Days, as terrible to a Courtier as his Prince's Frowns, and more dreadful to an old Citizen than Popery and Slavery) is now advanced to such Dignity, that it's crept into great men's Families; and often becomes the serious Consideration of our grave Senate: and is so far from being thought Scandalous in this Age, that it's grown the most useful Liberty imaginable in a Married State, and serves, upon Occasion, to dissolve that Gordion-Knot, which the Priest so craftily ties, to the Misfortune of many Thousands, who have unwarily fallen under the fatal Conjunction.  
Were it not in a Woman's power to recompense the Slavery of her servile Station, and revenge the Affronts, and cool Neglects, she is under a conjugal Necessity of enduring from her Husband, what charming Innocence, at Eighteen, would for the sake of Coach and Horses, or a plentiful Table, suffer an old withered Hand to crop the Flower of her Virginity, and waste her Youth and Beauty in the fruitless Embraces, and under the peevish Checks and Snubs of old Age, jealousy, and Impotence? What can such a Compound of Infirmities, made an Eunach in his Age by the Debaucheries of his Youth, expect from a Wife, possessed of all the Charms and Perfections that can be lodged by Nature in blooming juvenility? Which none but the powerful Nerves of a strenuous Lover is truly capable of enjoying.  
Would Parents in the Disposal of their Children, but match 'em with as much care as they do their Dogs or Horses, it would, in a great measure, mutually preserve the State of Matrimony from any Adulterous Invasion; For what true Northern Breeder will endure an old surfeited jade, Spavined, Foundered, and Wind-gauled, to Leap his Hunting Favourite? Or suffer his fine shaped Greyhound to Bastardise her Breed with an old mangy Mongrel? Yet perhaps his handsome Daughter must be thrown away upon some old miserly Curmudgeon, who only Marrys to palliate his Gouty Pains, and cherish his feeble Carcase in the Winter of his Age, by her warm enlivening Touches, and counterfeit Embraces.  
It is certainly an unnatural Imposition upon the fair Sex, to be thus disposed on; and though their worldly Interest, Obedience to Parents, or Importunities of Relations, may prevail upon 'em to put Nature in Masquerade, and seem to be well-pleased with their wrinkled Fumbler; yet, I do not question, but the poor young Bride, who labours under these Hardships, will soon find a way to communicate her Distress to some faithful Confident, who may, without any great Injury to his Conscience, at once gratify both the reasonable Desires of Youth, and justly reward the Folly and Lasciviousness of Age who desires to engross that Blessing, to which (says the Law of Nature) no Priest can give him an equitable Title; for if the Disproportion be so great as between Fifty and Fifteen, the Church may tie their Hands, 'tis true, but their Hearts are incapable of Union. I hearty pity that young Lady, who, either for want of Discretion in her Parents, or herself, has unhappily cast her Pearl before a Swine, who, knowing not how to use it, gives her just Provocation to dispose of the precious jewel to him, who will convert it to 'tis natural Employment; and to him that it's most Useful, before it will be most Valuable.  
As to the following Poem, I shall say nothing of it in the Preface; but only hope, The Newness of the Subject, and the Pertinency of the Matter, will be sufficient to recommend it to an ingenious Reader: So having thought fit to give you this little Hint, I shall proceed to wind up the bottom of the Frontispiece, with a Concise Character of a Cernuted Fumbler.   

A CUCKOLD  
IS an Artificial Monster, patched up between Action and Forbearance, who by his own Impotence, and his Wife's Incontinence, is soon brought to Perfection: If he be Jealous, he is always in search of that which he fears to find; if he be not; his Horns are generally visible to every body, but himself; he usually lays the Egg of his own Misfortune, and his Wife hatches it; his Fondness makes her Slighting; his ill Usage, makes her Revengeful; his Imprudence, makes her Cunning; his giving Opportunity, makes her improve it; his Negligence, makes her Mistrustful; and his Insufficiency, makes her Insatiate. There is generally a Mist between his Eyes and his Wife's Failings; he is either foolishly Fond, and can't see; or else prudently Patiented, and won't see; he is very forward to asperse another with the same Calumny, and will, by no means, believe himself under the like Predicament, tho' he knows it to be true. If he carries not his Wife to every public Entertainment, he thinks he breaks an Article of Matrimony: Thus leads her himself into the Path of Liberty, and is afterward Angry that she takes it. He is commonly more in Love with the Cuckoldmaker, than his Wife, and dare trust his Friend any where with her, and 'tis he that Cuckolds him. He's a Man of Note among both Sexes, and talked on more in the Parish where he lives, than the Parson; if he be a Trader, and his Wife be pretty, he's sure to have a good Trade, for he has one Commodity that helps off with the rest. He is either a good-natured Fool, or an ill-natured Knave; for Extremes in Fondness, or severe Usage, are the two main Causes of CUCKOLDOM.   

A LAW AGAINST CUCKOLDOM: OR, THE TRIAL OF ADULTERY.  

TOO weak are Laws, and Edicts Vain,  
The hearts of Women to Restrain;  
For when with happy Search they find  
The Man they like, They still are kind,  
So strong, so daring is their Love,  
It does even fear of Death remove.  
For proof of This, if others fail,  
I now design to tell a Tale.   

At Prato, once upon a Time,  
Adultery was thought a Crime:  
And every kind Consenting Wife  
Was doomed by Law to lose her life;  
So partial was this horrid Act,  
It Equally Condemned the fact,  
Whether the Cause was pure desire  
Or sordid Gain and sinful Hire,  
No sooner did this Edict pass,  
But one Rinaldo found (alas)  
His Wife Phillipia, Famed for Charms,  
In Lusty Lazarino's Arms:  
And with Revenge and Fury filled,  
'twas Ten to One he both had killed;  
But eager passion he restrained,  
The bold Adulteress arraigned,  
And to the Podestate Complained.  
The judge for Trial named the day,  
And gave her time to slip away:  
But she resolved to stand it out,  
In vain her Kindred went about,  
By dire Descriptions of the Law,  
To fright and force her to withdraw.  
She minded not a Word she heard,  
One would have sworn, by what appeared,  
She thought her Fate would glorious prove,  
To suffer Martyrdom for Love.   

When solemn day of Trial came,  
In Court appeared the Guilty Dame;  
But looked as Cheerful, Brisk and Gay,  
As those that Ogle at a Play:  
The judge was in a horrid Fright,  
(Touched to the quick by Charms so bright)  
Lest she the Matter should Confess,  
Her Case would then be past Redress.  
You must be Burnt, Madam, he said,  
Your Spouse has Information made,  
That you were lately caught by him,  
Committing the forbidden Crime  
Adultery, and doubtless you  
Have heard for this what Death is Due:  
Consider what you have to say,  
And prudently your Answer weigh.   

She said, I freely own the Fact,  
He caught me in the very Act;  
With Joy the pleasing Word I name;  
For know, I Glory in my Flame:  
And since my Passion did begin,  
Have often tried the tempting Sin.  
For this you say I ought to Die;  
But you know better, Sir, than I,  
That Laws for Public Justice meant,  
Should pass by General Consent;  
And pray what Women did appear  
To Vote for this? I ne'er could hear  
Of one that liked it; and 'tis hard  
They should unjustly be debarred  
Their Native Right, by a Decree,  
To which They never did agree:  
On us alone, Restraint is laid;  
Who are by bounteous Nature made  
To give Content to more than One;  
Which never yet by Man was done.  
If Prejudice did not prevail,  
Your solid Wisdom could not fail  
For me this matter to decide,  
And to declare the Edict void.  
But, Sir, if Death must be my doom,  
Soon let the Welcome Minute come;  
Secure, I wait the fatal Blow;  
Yet first an easy Favour show:  
Pray ask my Husband, there he stands,  
If all his Conjugal Demands  
Have not been answered still by me,  
With an Exact Conformity.   

Rinaldo said, I must Confess,  
My Wife did still Comply in This;  
Inclined my Wished Desires to Grant,  
And Fond to satisfy my Want.   

Observe, Sir, That, Phillipia said,  
whate'er he wanted still he had;  
Then wherefore, pray, this mighty Pother,  
If I, to Gratify another,  
Employed the useless Residue!  
Pray, Husband, what was that to you?  
I, like a Charitable Fair  
Bestowing what I had to spare;  
Believed it better to improve  
My Growing Overplus of Love,  
Than suffer Envious Marriage Bands  
To keep it Dead upon my Hands.   

Her speech so pleased the Listening Crowd,  
They Clapped their Hands, and laughed aloud.  
Rinaldo durst no longer stay;  
But hide his Face, and sneaked away:  
And fair Phillipia, by her Art,  
Sobribed the Court to take her part,  
So to her side the judge did draw,  
She saved herself, and Damned the Law.   
FINIS.   

Here is now Published a satire against Marriage Price 6 d.