Romes A B C, BEING A SHORT PERAMBVLATION, OR RATHER ARTICVLAR ACCVSATION Of a late tyrannicall oppressor.  
WITH A Petition to the Archbishop of Canterbury, now prisoner in the Tower.  
 woodcut of William Laud, Archbishop of Canterbury  
〈…〉   

Romes A B C, Being A SHORT PERAMBVLATION Or rather ARTICULAR ACCUSATION, OF a late Tyrannicall OPPRESSOR.  
A B C,  
WHAT may these three letters signify? Surely they can make no sense, or rather nocens, which is a word full of damage: Suppose it were A Bishop, Climbing as high as one which I know in England, who is forced to have a Keeper, for fear of falling. He is one which loved to see men civill, which surely was the reason he so much endeavoured to subvert the fundamental Laws. Seeing, I have taken an occasion to speak of A B C, give me leave to perambulate, great A, great B, great C; great Archbishop, little Bishop, great Canterbury; he which at this time I shall speak of, loved judgement with all his heart, but it must not bee true by any means, if threatening can prevail: he loved money well, but that best which came by ship, witness the case of shipmoney; he was a Merchant venturer, but his chief traffic was in justice, which he sold by whole sale in the high Commission Court.  
Of all signs at a tavern he loved the mitre best, as for the crown he little regarded it, except it were for his particular gain.  
He was a very religious man, and he loved prayer very well, so as there were but a long anthem in it; but as for sermons, it went against his conscience to hear above one a week, and that must not be above the space of an hour neither, for fear of a puritanical censure.  
But where is he now for his own safety? as the Papists say, towered up, and nothing more grieves him, but that he can have no confabulation with his hakney Jesuit and Papist, how the affairs go with his reverend Father at Rome; he fears very much that the reconcilement betwixt England and it, by no manner of means will go forward.  
He should have been a wise man, for he loved few words, which was the reason sure, that he put so many good Ministers to silence.  
He loved the Church of Rome and France so well, that he could not endure in London to see a Protestant which came out of either of their Countries.  
Weight and measure he loved of all things, but especially of patent Tobacco, the smoke of which most do hope shortly will choke him.  
Of all fashions he could not endure the Scotch Bonnet, why? because they could never brook his four corner cap, which some hope shortly to bee transformed into a three corner one, which will be triangular.  
Of all proof he hated Parliament proof worst, which was the reason he had so bad a stomach unto Parliamentary proceedings.  
Two places long time expected his presence, the one Canterbury Cathedrall, the other Lambeth Pulpit, which was the onely place Archy would choose to keep out of his clutches; my preambulation had not been brief, but that joyful news came unto me, that his physician said he could not live long, the sign being in neck and throat, wherefore I conclude my Romish A B C, skipping some of the crosse-row, I intended to have spoken of O and L but T would not permit me.  

Great Prince of Prelacy, or to writ in a humble strain 'vice admiral of most admired mischief.  
WE humbly desire your Don Gracious, now little Honourable Lordship, to condescend to be willing to grant the meek petition of a company not long since silenced persons, the string of whose tongues which were tied, are lately cut and loosed by a skilful physician, by name called Parliament. Charitable we know you are, else why so long did you join Englands read cross to Romes high soaring spread Eagle? to which a long time we supposed you bowed unto. But to come to the purpose.  
First, we your once meek slaves by the reason of your late tyrannicall bonds, do beseech your Grace( now towered up) no longer to catch hold by the horns of Romes Altar, for we assure you that time which lately was abused Altar-wise, is now altered: at which wee suppose the Pope not to triumph, nor yourself at Lambeth feasting for joy: Alas who can help it! although your sorrows be expressed with exclamations, no man will so far dive into the Stygian stream of danger to help you: as for the Popes Bull it dares not venture into England for fear of a bloody baiting: if you want a Confessor, truly you must borrow leave of your Keeper to follow the Jesuits and Friers which are lately packed towards Rome.  
Secondly, wee desire your Lordship now at length to grow humble; but what need wee petition that? insomuch as long since wee know you were so; else what was the meaning of your so lowly bowing?  
Thirdly, wee petition your Honour upon Sabbath daies not to walk abroad too much; the zeal which you owe to Lambeth Church, be sure you pay it to the Tower chapel.  
Fourthly, have a care of your lawn sleeves, lest unawares they chance for to choke you.  
Fiftly, forget not the tears of the pillory, which for want of order from you a long time hath stood forlorn.  
sixthly, we desire your honour, not to bee forgetful of your mortality, which wee think you should not, your chamber having so faire a prosspect towards Tower-hill.  
Seventhly and lastly, wee desire your Honour not to be offended at sh●ubs of mortality, whose sole desire is to scale the Tower of your affection, and to bee placed nigh the Cherubin of your devotion: your bosom friend being sent as ambassador to the Popes holinesse, to entreat his pardon for the little graces which a long time lay hide in the bundle of your superstitious cogitations.  
This is the petition of a company of poor cinders which a long time lay raled up in the ashes of desolation, nd at length are burst out into a flamme to consume the Romish bush which was planted by a Metropolitan gardener whose name these letters will easily interpret to your Honour.  
W. L. ABC.  
FINIS.