depiction of maze 
A MAZE OF STATE  


A. Errando, disco.  
B. Numinis arbitrio res hominum anxio, motu, ancipite cursu volvuntur, et revolvuntur. Cic.  
C. Mundus in ambiguo.  
D. Circus inest Mundo.  
E. Emblema est vita Meandri.  
F. Effigies Mundi Sinuosa Figura Meandri undae sunt curae; ripa Memento, mori.  
G. Daedalus est Orbi velut Area flexilis Horti, Stamen Ariadnis Daedale redde mihi.  
H. Under Labyrinthus? labour est quia labilis intus, Quo veniens redeo; quo rediturus eo.      

THE MAZE: Contrived, Digested, and Couched in these distinct Subjects: REPRESENTATIVES For these present times to admire: PRECEDENTS For future Ages to decline. 

1. THE TRAITOR'S TRIAL.  
2. THE PLAINTIFFS APPEAL.  
3. THE STATE-MONKEY, OR, THE DISLOYAL FAVOURITE.  
4. PEMBROKE'S PLEA.  
5. A CORDIAL for BRITANNICUS, etc.  
6. OLD FATHER LASHER to the MODERATE.   THE SENATE'S ANSWER TO THE SCOTCH CHANCELLOR. A FUNERAL ORATION DELIVERED AT DARBY-HOUSE. ANIMADVERSIONS UPON THE FOURTH SECTION.  
Orderly Marshaled with these Poems: 

1. CASTLE'S CATASTROPHE; OR, GARRISONS GAOL-DELIVERY.  
2. THREE STATE-TARRIERS coupled up with THREE TART SATYRS.    
Sperate miseri; Cavete faelices.  
Printed in the year 1659.   

TO His poor PATRONS.  
TO all Delinquents that shall trace  
The winding angles of this MAZE,  
Send I this  
With my wish, 
Alluding to the Act of Grace.   
That this Act of saving Grace  
May not prove like Chevy-chace,  
That displays  
Wand'ring ways,  
So as He that reves along  
Knows not if He be right or wrong;  
For i'th' eyes  
Of the wise  
This gay-checkered Act declares  
In Soldier's favour more than theirs.  
World's wonder!  
Public plunder  
Must be freed from restitution;  
O rare chemical Illusion!  
This Act when it came first a landing  
The peace it brought past understanding,  
For though it promised Grace's store  
They showed no better than before:  
At th' Senat-door then let us knock  
And get a clavis to unlock  
The wards of this rewarding gin,  
To rinse our State-Original sin.  
" Wise Oedipus unloose this knot,  
" Are we made Heirs of Grace or not?   

PARTHESIUS' REGIUS, His DEDICATORY To all People BOND or FREE, Round or Sound wheresoever they be.  
CHop-fallen Plaintiffs or Defendants;  
Sectists, Separists, Independents,  
Presbyterians that are whiter  
Than Lawne-Sleeves or any Mitre.  
Crop-eared Zimri's, Sequestrators,  
Statists, Truckers, Timists, Traitors.  
Haxsters, Huxsters, or Promotors,  
Farriers, Furriers, or Freebooters,  
Brokers, Breakers, Brewers, Bakers,  
Braggadoches, High-way-takers.  
Sergeants, Catch-pools, or Regraters;  
Cheats, Comittee-dis-estators:  
Or Assemblies cursed for ever  
Make a Preacher of a Weaver.  
All who headlong by their meddling  
Make our whimzed State a Bedlam.  
Counting it lighter than a feather  
To ruin Church and State together.  
Trepenners, Pimps, Prinadoe's, Nippers,  
Tarpaulins, Currers, Quakers, Dippers,  
Whifflers, Shufflers, Heavers, Hector's,  
Sharks, Excisers, Ale-Collectors.  
Spanger, Spooner, Spurrier, Spinster,  
And our Saintlings at Westminster.  
With that Royall-loyall true sort  
That of late did treat at Newport.  
Et complere vatis Somnium,  
CAESARI, uni instar omnium.   

THE TRAITOR'S TRIAL.  EUPHORMION and MENIPPUS. Euphormion. 
GOod-morrow to the Loyal Genius of pregnant Menippus; with my blessing to the weak remainder of his Sequestered Fortunes. Let me encounter thee with the Dialect of these days: the Salute of these times; What News abroad?  Menip. 
Ha, hah, hah. What News, my noble Euphormion? why? thou shalt find every corner full of them. New, new, new, every blind Alley echoes withal.  
New Fates, new Faiths, new Foes, new Faces, new Fashions, new Creeds, new Crimes: all things new, saving that old relic of Honesty, which will never be renewed.  Euphor. 
Go to Sirrah; such wormwood Lecturers as you, usually convert your Pens into Needles, your Paper into Nettles. But in good sober earnest, tell me what becomes of the Capitol?  Menip. 
The Senate of Saints, you mean. I will tell thee, Euphormion, there is not in that Saintly Sanctuary, so much as a Goose left for Sentinel to guard that Antinomian Assembly. Their day-work is done, I can assure thee; for their Shop's shut up. Nay, some roguish hand or other, has distinguished it with rubric Letters, and a Pest-house Posy, LORD HAVE MERCY UPON US.  Euphor. 
It was so long infected, I ever thought, it would break out into Spots ere long.  Menip. 
Spots, Euphormion! Nay, Carbuncles on my conscience. The mad Parliament was a Sage Synod to this. Such a Self-hanging frenzy was never heard of.  
The Devil never played his part with more active Subtlety: nor presented Pageant with more Artifice nor shrouded Policy since he was a Tempter.  
For he has made fools of them, whose aim and art it was to befool the State.  Euphor. 
But are They in such a desperate condition?  Menip. 
Yes, Sir, I can assure you; They are never likely hereafter to transgress out of the Line of Communication. They who could not all their time endure the Gregorian Litany, are very like, with a Gregorian line, to close their Tragedy: WHARTON has rightly casten up their Nativity.  Euphor. 
Be they impeached already?  Menip. 
They are; and this very day to receive their Judgement. The Crimes objected against them, are notorious and heinous. Pillaging, and plundering the State; obstructing Traffic; making Seats of Justice, Butcher's Shambles.  Euphor. 
Excellent Reformers!  Menip. 
Long and heavy Quarters, grievous Taxes, numerous Excizes: All these have drawn up a Bill of Arrears together; And the Bill is found: The whole Jury return them guilty. Ha, ha, ha. Hemp, by all likelihood, was never in more request, nor liker to be highlier honoured. I must tell thee Euphormion, low Necks and Collars, are not for these Nouzes.  Euphor. 
As I live, this will be rare sport for Bystanders. Me thinks I see what wry mouths these sleek Orators will make at their Confession!  Menip. 
Nay, at their Suspension! Never found more Funerals drier eyes.  Euphor. 
I am sure, they have made the State weep sufficiently; But such rogury was ever likely to close with such a Catastrophe. But pray thee, Minippus, what Judges may we have to sit upon them?  Menip. 
A question that deserves resolving, trust me. All the world knows, Euphormion; we have but two judicial Consuls left us of all the old Covey; And the One is a mere Trivial nifter; as barren of Sense, as he is cram-fed with Substance. The Other, sometimes a Reverend Sage, had not this timing compliance made him an Ass, and fooled his Judgement. His ominous Name bodes, he must not die a natural Death.  
I must tell thee, my Euphormion, though Justice ride on her foot-cloth, yet She goes on Stilts. There was never such an halting Age since Vulcan's time. She, who formerly stood like a Beacon to give others aim; is now become such a Dark-lanthorne, it will scarcely afford itself light.  Euphor. 
All this while, Menippus, thou resolves me not who these Judges be.  Menip. 
But I shall in good time, Euphormion: And first, give me leave to tell thee, that these, who are pricked out to sit upon these Corrupt Members; were no Sergeants of the last Call, for those wear a Parliamentary Coif; and for all their violet Livery on their shoulder, are very likely to be degraded of their honour. No; these be old Benchers, who have stuck close to their restrained Justinian all this while. That Levelling Democracy bandied them into a desperate hazard: Being sent away in such Shoals, as the whole Isle of Antycera could scarcely receive them. But by a writ of Revocation most of them were called back from banishment; and begin already to outstrip those Particoloured Turncoats both for Practice and Reverence. Now out of all those, be these three culled for this great Goal delivery; Argestes, Bonarges and Calazius. The first, a pert pregnant fellow; One, who can take a Ball at the first rebound: being of a quick apprehension, and present dispatch. The Second, a rough, rigid, downright Justice: One, whose hands and ears hold antipathy with price and prayer. The Third, of a more cool and remiss Spirit: yet prompt enough to denounce judgement, where he meets with an incorrigible Delinquent. These be they that must do the feat.  A shout within. 
Away with them, away with them, They deserve not to live: They have been the ruin of us, and our Families.  Euphor. 
What means this shout within?  Menip. 
Ha, hah, hah. They come, they come, they come, we shall hear rare sport presently. 
† Enter Judges, Clerk of the Assize, etc. at one door. Enter Traitors, mannacled, by th' Marshal, and other officers attended at the other door.  See, see, see; those be the Judges of Oyer and Terminer: and these the Traitors, who having been upon their Trials, found the only Cankerworms of the Commonwealth; and such whose egregious abuses deserve exquisite punishments; are this very day to receive their Dooms.  Euphor. 
Be there no more of this fry?  Menip. 
O yes, Euphormion! This very instant is Antipas impeached of High Treason by Venaticus: But he's to be tried by a Council of War. Both our Higher and Lower Hives swarm with them: but these were the Principal Instruments of creating and fomenting all our mischiefs.  Euphor. 
What may that Grand Senior be, who with his wall-eyes looks like one of Machiavels familiars?  Menip. 
Who he, Euphormion! Why? That is Misarcus, a Protean Politician; One who can present as many shapes to acquire his own ends, as any Cloud-walking Tiberius in the whole world. He can play the Fox, and make use of the poor Pusses foot to get himself the Chestnut. He has been in strong labour of Anarchial Plots this twenty years at least: and having now at last brought forth such useful Principles of un-kinging; as Brutus and Cassius could not be of quicker dispatch, had his Agents been as secret as they were desperate. he's held the only Sinon in all Albania. In a word, he breathes not that knows better how to mint, mince nor shroud Treason then he does. All the rest are but Apprentices to him in that trade, the Velvet-Varlet can carry it so nimbly and neatly.  Euphor. 
Who is he, that looks for all the world, like the Promethean Satire; or some Antique piece of decayed Arras?  Menip. 
That is Montanus; a confident Agitator: but comes far short of the former. For this Fellow Acts but what the other Plots. He has indeed, been successful in some undertake; which makes him infinitely arrogant: yet for all his success, he has purchased himself no good Opinion; being in no less capacity of Censure for cowardice or remissness by his own Party; then He is by the other part of ingratitude and disloyalty, The man desired much to become popular; which in the end undid him. Such Baits are dangerous for these frisking Fishes to nible at. His Father, that Physiognomist of Queen Bess, was another kind of Creature. He could have taught him the guise how to sculk in a distempered State; and to fish without exception in troubled Waters. There is small question, but that he had once some weakling unsettled▪ thoughts to become Honest: But private interest begot such obstruction to his resolves; as those fair purposes were stifled in their infancy. So as, he held it his only safe course to keep in Consort with those who accounted no part of Music, comparable to Division. No Allegiance to arbitrary Obedience.  Euphor. 
But what makes that Melancholy Don so imbrim his face; and cast down such a forlorn and dejected a look?  Menip. 
Not without cause, Euphormion. That is the white-livered Clinius, who lately performed that fearless feverish Combat with Damaetas; and to divert danger, (though they fought at sufficient distance) made their equal retreats; the one to a Saw-pit, the other to a Marle-pit.  Euphor. 
Is this the Man?  Menip. 
Yes, if thou please to call him so; but there is as little Man in him, as in any of all the Bunch.  
Now to resolve thee, why his Look makes this settled contract with the Earth; Thou must know, he has been so basely baffled, jeered, and buffound in every quarter, as he consorts with no Society, where disgrace does not meet him; telling Him, how his very Memory will be a lasting stain to his Fame: a dishonour to his Family. Do not blame him then, for looking downward: Thou knowest well what the Poet sometimes so divinely sung; 
God gave Men looks to view the azure Skies,  
While Beasts look down with earth-dejected Eyes.   
Yet in some points, I must tell thee withal, that there is no Valiant loyal Spirit within the whole Island that may compare with htm for some dangerous attempts: For he has the boldness to pocket more Treason, then would hang a Legion: yet with protests of Honour and Reputation, incredibly salves it: and secures himself by it. But feeding on the better side o'th' Bush, and fortifying his weak Cause with strong complies (for he gloried in nothing more than in the style of Machiavels son:) he never feared a change: nor to be brought to such a fearful charge.  Euphor. 
Who is he, that stalks along with such a shaking pace?  Menip. 
That is Lentulus; one of the Lower Siege; and could shake his tongue in his time: and blast the temper of a wel-composed State with the distemper of his breath. But I believe, his Rhetoric has left him, since this State-palsey seized on his tongue. I partly understand what the sum of his Petition might be; if his Godfathers would afford him an hearing: He has more than a month's mind to be out of the Palace yard: and to be no Inhabitant under the Line. For he holds nothing more conducing to his safety then distance: which he might have procured without flight, had he acquainted his Tongue with less speech, and more silence. But the Indieses must not save him: though he has mined sufficiently for his time. The Mole is now to be unmolded.— O how happy a thing were it rather to be tongue-tied, then tie in a noose; and for a little loose lip-labour, sum up his Days work in a Halter!  Euphor. 
Who is he, who carries those Papers in his hand, as if he were Solicitor General for the whole Synodall?  Menip. 
And so he is, I must tell thee: and for himself too: for he's very likely to lick o'th' whip as any of them all. Shall I display him to thee? This is Metaxus; a fellow of infinite confidence: and unto those that fall under his Test, of a domineering insolence.  
His first fame came to him by a Sea-case: since which time, he has incomparably thriven by a Land-case: having by his means and other Officials, brought the whole Land into that pitiful case, as none can live well, unless they live ill like Land-sharks: who prey upon the Fry of the Gentry: and by their irremissive cruelty so soak them; as places of Hospitality become Nests for Owls: or Cages to Imprison Vindicators of their Country's Liberty and their own Loyalty.  
This same Advocate is a close youth, I must tell thee: One, who desires nothing more than to imposture a State with colourable and plausive pretences of sanctity: as if his Nature held such correspondence or Analogy with his Name; as the one could not hold up without the other. But watsoever he pretends, he is more Core than Cordial, He might for a time gull private eyes with peculiar interests: and by laying his oily hand on his hypocritical heart, delude the easy Vulgar: But being now to act his part on the public Stage; there were some (and those unconcerned spectators) who had not like those Lamiaes, left their eyes at home in a box: but had the art to discover his posture: and how his Action suited with his Person.  Euphor. 
Who may that Malevole be; who walks like a debauched Prostitute; that has stakt his honour for as much as it will give?  Menip. 
That, my brave Boy, is Hircanus; A Goatish Gamester, whose profuse lust seared with an assiduate heat, has caused him to sue forth a divorce betwixt him and his natural Periwig. The Mounted Scale-drake has dropped all his feathers in his Cornelian Bath.  
His mouth used formerly to be furred up with obscene tales, and his passages of Brothelry: and herein (which may seem a Paradox) he did the least hurt. For since, he became a Member (and such a one as the Bordella's cannot show a corrupter) he has acquainted his forlorn tongue with no other discourse but Treason. Now some there be (and such who are not altogether unknown to his crazy sapless constitution) who stick not to avouch that he's infinitely weary of his life: and cares not much for being dispatched out o'th' way; for his dainty Duggs and Doxes hold him so inconsiderable and contemptible a creature, as they jeer him to his face: That he does well in hatching his eggs in the House: for he can Sat better than he can Stand. Some there be that report, how he very lately had a desire to travail as well as any of the Tribe: hoping by that means (having sent before Gold his Harbinger to store him for provision against Winter) to escape the lash. But this report admits no belief: for should He travail by Land or Water, those that know him would witness with him, that he stood in more need of a Bonesetter then an Harbinger. So as, should he now chance to be hanged (as there's small question to be made on't) he would quarter himself: and like an over-ripe Medler, drop piecemeal from the Tree, long before the rest of his fellows.  Euphor. 
It seems, Menippus, these three you described last are in their quality inferior to the former.  Menip. 
'Tis true, Euphormion; but though their Siege be lower; it is generally held that their Sconces be no ways inferior: Nor the revenues of their Places lesser; as their late Century lists fully discover. Those three indeed whom we displayed before; were drawn forth from the Higher Hive; these three last from the Lower. But this Lower has infinitely trenched upon the Privileges of the Higher; and presumed to be as active too; for else had the coast been clearer, and the Storm calmer than now it is.  Themophilus. 
Clear the Bar there; and give way to the Prisoners.  Euphor. 
Let us observe their process of Judgement.— Justice never till now (since the first foundation of this perennially-trienniated Synod) found any eyes to see with.  Menip. 
Content, content; we shall hear shortly, how abused honour must be adjudged to collar with an halter.  Themoph. 
Call Misarchus, Montanus, and Clinius to th' Bar.  Argestes. 
You know Misarchus, what an honourable (and in your respect, immerited Trial) you have had by your Peers: how you have been found guilty of High Treason. How active for your part, you have approved yourself, in the speedy pursuance of your cruelest designs: which, as they were with much disloyal subtlety hatched: so no less speedily to be acted, had they not been by the power of an Higher hand divested. Mean time, how little sensible were you of this shaken and shattered Kingdom? Your own interest took up all your care: while our heartsick State became desperate of cure.  
Sir, The recollection of these must needs beget a remorse in you: with an earnest desire of your reconciliation to Him, whom you have so highly, and heinously offended. Which must be done seriously, and seasonably, lest the hand of death arrest you, which is now approaching near you, before your peace be made. Your abuse to Sovereignty; your violation of our Liberty; your disturbance of Unity; your endangering of our public Safety: All which with joint voice and vote have contested against you. These should retain in you such a deep impression, that unless you be an enemy to yourself, they must needs beget in you, both living, and dying, a sensible compassion.  Miser. 
I must confess, my Lords, that humane policy had too strong a seizure o'er my thoughts. I shall wish my fall may be a caveat to others, of falling upon the like designs; lest they become liable to the like unfortunate ends.  Argest. 
Your resolves are fair, Sir; may these close with as fair an evening.  Bonar. 
For you Montanus; what could in reason move you to take up Arms against your Sovereign? Was it desire of Change? What estate could you aspire to higher, or for your condition better than what you enjoyed? Catiline had some reason to plead for Treason; because his profuse course had brought him to a shaken fortune. But you were no such man. Well; I shall not aggravate it. Let Death be the Guerdon of your Crime: Only, let me tell you, your hours are few; employ them then only for eternity.  Monta. 
My Lord, I thank you: my aims are fixed that way.  Calazius. 
You are only left me, to speak to Clinius. Nor shall I need to present to you the horror of those actions for which you are to suffer, I am persuaded, you are no less conscientious in repenting for them, than you were conscious in committing of them. Only let me advise you not to be more fearful of death, than you may be hopeful of a future life; So you neglect not time, but make an useful benefit of your just doom.  Clinius. 
All my desires (my good Lord) shall be summed up in this; that by the Prince's clemency, my censure of death may be so much sweetened, as it may be changed into banishment.  Calaz. 
Sure so I think it might, Sir; our State needs little fear you; you were never yet held any dangerous Plotter: only a State-shadow, whose designs had their period in desires: but you could pocket Treason, and conceal it; nay, with protests of honour strive to salve it: being no less than if you had contrived it. This renders you in that qualification, as your Crimes admit no lower punishment.  Euphora. 
So! I see these younkers of the higher Siege must be untrussed.  Menip. 
No; Thou art deceived Euphormion; they must be trussed.— Let us observe the rest. These Grand Seniors press here in clusters.  Themoph. 
Clear the Bar there behind.— Call Lentulus, Metaxus, and Hercanus to th' Bar.  Argestes. 
Now, Lentulus; you lately heard what heavy Charge was laid against you: and how by the joint verdict of an uninteressed Jury you were returned guilty. Now than it behoves you, in this little space, nay pace of time, which must be afforded you, to take a serious Survey of all your actions and speeches. You could no less immodestly then indiscreetly tax a Member of your House, of an unmannerly posture, for laying his sinnew-shrunk leg before him for his ease; saying, more reverence was due to that place. But what Answer gave this Member? Mr. Speaker, I could wish that you would begin as soon to sit upright in your Chair, as I should do in rectifying this uncivile posture, as you call it. What I do, is for mine own ease: whereas you abuse your place for sinister ends. How inconscienciously you have pursued the State's ruin for your own ends! What a timing Prolocutor you have been to foment Sedition: and confine the Sovereignty of a just Prince, to the irregular sway and swinge of Faction! It was your hint to Propose: Others too Say the Propositions good: and by strength of prepared Votes, or absence of opposing Voices, to seal whatsoever was proposed or said. But see to what shame and dishonour, a tongue tipped with the guilt of dishonest lucre may bring the Speaker! your fame and fortune perish in one Bottom. That gain which you so much loved, must render rewards to those whom you most hate. While a poor Shroud, after an ignominious death, shall be only left you to shadow your shame.  Lent. 
Good my Lord, give me leave to speak.  Argestes. 
No Sir, you have spoke too much: your Lips are become your Snares. No Poison of Asps more full of Venom, than a Tongue infected with the witchcraft of Sedition.— Jailor look to your Prisoner.  Bonarges. 
How now Metaxus! what mean those Papers? your present condition stands in more need of a Manual of Prayers. Your State admits no dispute.  
Bestow now your Sollicitancy for heaven. So long as you studied your Case, and pleaded the Commons Cause for removing public aggrievances from our Realm; it got you repute: all which you have now lost by playing the foolish Faun, and soothing Sycophant to a corrupt State.— Withdraw the Prisoner.  Metax. 
I am ta'en in my own Gin: being therein lost, wherein I held myself most secure.  Menip. 
So— there will be work enough for a Solicitor in Limbo.  Themoph. 
Draw nearer there to the Bar with Hircanus.  Menip. 
Trust me, He's near enough already.— Pox on his Rogueship; this Palliard smells ranker than any Welsh Goat. He that holds not this Tege for a Mortified Member; He has small skill in Chirurgery.  Euphor. 
I wonder much those Grave Judges use not their Pomander!  Menip. 
They are the honester men, Euphormion, to prefer Justice before Sense.  Calaz. 
For you, Hircanus; though last, not least, but worst of that anarchical Crew; I must tell you, that of all others, your inbred and indurate impudence had so glazed your forehead, and by the bladder of popular air blown you up to that height of shameless boldness, as you durst affront Majesty, cry down Monarchy, spurn at Authority, and lay a gap open to that irregular Track, wherein yourself so long trodden, of licentious liberty. Command was with you a word of too strict acception: Loose lives desire ever to be lawless. Riotous-awlesse minds give freest admittance to easy reins.  Hircanus. 
Yet do me right, my Lord, your Honour knows how I have ever maintained, That if there were a necessity for us to have a King (with which Title my desires could never cordially close) my voice should pass for Him whom we already had, because we knew best how to trust Him.  Calaz. 
Go to, Sir; you meant by that particle Trust, to asperse distrust upon your Sovereign.— No more; we will not rub too much upon your perfidious folly: Be it your care, if you intent your inward cure, to bestow your few hours (for many you must not have) in bemoaning your numerous crimes; Dangerous Sins exact Deep Sighs. By how much slower you were in paying Tribute to your Earthly Caesar; be so much speedier in rendering your last deuce in these your last days to your Heavenly Maker.  
Enough, enough;— Two days only are afforded you for your Preparation. The Third appointed for your Execution.  Themophilus. 
Room for the Judges.— Make way there, for the Prisoners.  Exeunt. Menippus. 

Hah-hah-hah!  
Room and make way sound equal to the ear,  
Yet in construction several senses bear:  
Giants and Pygmies be of liker stature,  
For th'first refers to Judge; the last to Traitor.  
Though some there be, and who have Judges been  
Deserve a Slip for slipping from their King.  
For Scarlet never looseth more his die  
Then when a Traitor wears that livery.   

Thus, Those who poor petitioners suspended  
Find quick dispatch: So our petition's ended.  
May corrupt Members who return denial  
To men's just Suits, receive like TRAITOR'S TRIAL.   
— Come le's away, let's away, Euphormion; when these come crowding to Charon's Boat; He'll verily think, that Hell's broke loose: and that these were some of those Picklocks who broke the Gaol: but being got again, are to be wasted over to their old Lodging.  Haeccine perfidia comitantia praemia—?  

THE PLAINTIFFE'S APPEAL. Argued Dialogue-wise Betwixt Master OSBORNE, and Master HUNTINGTON.  Regium est bona facere, & mala pati. Osborne. 
HOw goes the squares, Master Huntingdon?  Hunt. 
All out of square, M. Osborne. I hold nothing more dangerous then to accuse a great man of Treason.  Osb. 
'Tis no wonder; hast thou no fear of an approaching fury; in levelling thy shot at such a Conquering Leveller, as wins wheresoever he comes; and takes in wheresoever he Summons?  Hunt. 
Who would ever have thought that he should come to such a formidable Greatness?  Osb. 
Who ever knew him since these brackish times, and could think that this cunning Porpuise could fish worse in such troubled waters? Trust me, Huntingdon, howsoever you stood conceited, that his brain symbolised with his barmy profession; I observed him ever, to have Sage in his pate: And that his Head-piece (as one observed) would make an excellent Pipkin to boil Monarchy: and his Breastpiece a rare Drippin-pan to baste Presbytery. He knew well how to walk in a shade to his Foes: and in the Sunshine to his Friends. 
* This was Jugurths' policy; which highly improved his Commands. Sallust. Ma●rob. Plutarch. Montan.  Besides, didst not observe how he advanced none to Commands, but such in whom he had a commanding interest? nay, & to oblige them the more, were knit to him by alliance or blood. And these no Shallops neither. For they knew well how to build upon his materials; and to act the designs of absolute Instruments by his influence.  Hunt. 
All this had redounded more to mine honour, if way, as Justice required it, and due Allegiance enjoined it, might be given to my Charge: which was so punctual in every particular, as it could admit no exception.  Osb. 
Pray thee, Huntingdon, didst thou never read how the Capitol was ever shut, when Janus Temple was open? Art thou become so hoodwinked to the knowledge of these worst times, as not to observe, how Greatness is a subterfuge to Guiltiness? How dangerous is it for Justice to plead her privilege of Right, or enter into contest with a fleshed Soldier with his Sword in his hand?  Hunt. 
Soldiers who have their lives in their hands, should have grace in their hearts.  Osb. 
True, they should so; but these Martial times can show us no such Precedents. Success makes a Soldier swell above the bounds of Justice.  
After Pharsalia's Field, so fatal to Pompey, so successful to Caesar; it was too hard a task for Cicero with all his Eloquence; or cunning Coelius with his Compliance; or censorious Cato with all his gravity and composedness, to work upon Caesar's thoughts any thing less than a Monarchical influence. Either a Caesar or none; and that Caesar a King; and that King no King but Caesar.  
Thou art to know Huntingdon, for else thou knowest nothing, how these airy Spirits, who hatch their high-flowne projects in the Eagles nest, never use to observe friendship, or court any favour out what may suit with their Ambition. He, who was but lately a Soldier of fortune, by his improvement from fat and numerous plunders, is now conceited that his condition holds in a Sphere above the reach of fortune.  Hunt. 
But pray thee, Osborne, can these, who are for the present, thus transported with this vading shadow of their pretended happiness, grounded on pillage and rapine; and like a rotten Building supported only by the Bases of others ruin; can these, I say, be so miserably besotted with the opinion of their plundered greatness; as to imagine that this giddyheaded world will never come to her wits again?  Osb. 
What else, Huntingdon? So long as these Pious Rooks, or Magisteriall Magpies, deign to bestow no better style on their Sovereign, than a chief public Officer of this Kingdom: Dost not think they are confident enough of their Cause; and that their Party is grown too strong to entertain a change?  Hunt. 
We shall then, no doubt, have a dainty Waxen State on't, when every blind Mole may cast himself in his own Mould; and kick Discipline with his heels.  Osb. 
What may we expect less, when the Feet hold equipage with the Head! The divine Story sufficiently informs us; that when there was no King in Israel, 
judg. 17.10.  every man did what he pleased.  Hunt. 
It will be a great pleasure for an honest minded man to live under such a Government!  Osb. 
Honest men, Huntingdon! Those be rare Birds, and of a foreign Airy. Were that wise Cynic now living, he would not bestow a farthing candle on his Dark-lanthorne, to spend it in the fruitless pursuit of that Inquest. No, no, Honesty now goes by Beards: He that can time it the best, deserves to enjoy his own, and his neighbours to boot. A rough-rigid Committee-man, who will not stick to impawne his Soul to improve the Public, deserves the Grecian Tripod. This sage Decoy is superseded for all his transgressions from above: do not mistake me, I mean from above Hell at Westminster.  Hunt. 
They have a brave jovial time on't.  Osb. 
And so might we too, Huntingdon, had we been timely wise. What Madcaps were we, to shoot our Shafts at the Moon? Could we in reason think, that our Gracious Senate would swinge their own Champions, Patrons, Associates, or Assassinates? Had we no Articles of Charge to prefer against State-malignants, but their own Assistants? We had surely, left our eyes at home with those Lamian witches, in running headlong into such a precipice; as to make fetters for our own feet by our Loyal service.  Hunt. 
For all this, I fear not but a time will come.  Osb. 
Yes; To suspend us for endeavouring to impeach their Protectors of High Treason.  Hunt. 
Suspend us! How dost thou mean, Osborne, by our Estates?  Osb. 
No, Huntingdon, but by our Necks.  Hunt. 
Sure they will not be so cruel.  Osb. 
O, thou mistakes it!" Mercy to the Wicked, is cruelty to the Innocent. It were tyranny to show indulgency, or least specifical impunity upon such as we two are, who have trenched so highly on their propriety.  
I shall acquaint thee with a late passage of a virtuous sweetly demeaned Gentlewoman, daughter to Sir Peter Killigrave; who out of her pious zeal to His Sacred Majesty, with a deep sense of His unprincely usage during this His restraint; was pleased to write in Sea-coal, in a place not far distant from Newport, only these words, Hammon was hanged, and the King's wrath was pacified. For which Sentence she stood in great danger to incur a censure; had She not been saved by her Book, though by some held for Apocryphal Scripture. And being further pressed; that the Name used in Esther was Ammon; She wittily replied, that H was no Letter: So as by means of her wit so well authorized by Scripture, She came off clear from further censure.  Hunt. 
I must confess, there be more Hamon's then Mordecayes in that Island. But it was well for the Gentlewoman she came off so fair: For it is no playing with Lions at the mouth of the Cave.  Osb. 
Yet observe but those wanton Cubs of their own Litter; and thou shalt see them without control, sporting in others Enclosures far freer.  
GRIFFITH, a Member of the House, ravished the Lady SHUDLEY; and this was but a prank of youth; exempted from censure. MARTIN may play the frisking frolic Goat; and in the disguise of an Independent, though his jeering Doxes swear by all the indisposed hairs of their Bolts periwig; that he's become an emasculated Dependent. So as, with a kick o'th' breech they discard him; transmitting him to the Committee of Examinats for an useful Agent in a troubled State; but none for them. This leprous Lecher, I say, may attempt any Lady's honour: and return piping-hot from his Neapolitan Stove, and his Common Whores, to the House of Commons; with an obscene mouth, venting nought but Treason: and this beastly Buffoun must be hugged for a Witty Traitor.  Hunt. 
And whence all this; 
But if it be in the Army's power (as 'tis conceived to be) to purge the Houses, as Hercules did those Augean Stables: the Parliament may thank themselves; Their power will be abridged, as well as the Kings.  but because the KING's Power is weakened: which makes Him more slighted, less feared?  Osb. 
'Tis true; yet there was a Precept which admitted no such restraint of Power: nor abate of fear. My Son, 
Prov. 24.21, 22.  fear thou God and the King, and meddle not with them that are given to change: for their calamity shall rise suddenly, etc.  Hunt. 
True; But These, who by their licentious living, rioting and surfeiting, (and all for the good of the Public) put the Evil day far from them, never dream of any such calamity to rise suddenly, and fall upon them. Alas, poor Souls! (for I must pity them, though I perish by them) they laugh like the Fool when He goes to the Stocks. Impiety cannot promise to itself long impunity; Nulla Salus, iniquo bello. Their Principles are deep-ingrained in blood: Their Laws in Draco ' Lines; all Rubrics. That wise (but unfortunate) STRAFFORD, showed himself an excellent Monitor, and probably, a true Diviner of their future condition. He told them of his fears, when He took his leave of earth:" Parliaments grounded in blood, could promise" no good Success. We have found it; and They must find it. For when divine judgement is deferred, it infers more to come. The whole State is sick; and heartsick: for, how can the Body be at ease, when the Head fares so ill? Now, this Sick State being sensible of her distemper, seeks about for a Physician: but unhappy is that sick Patient that is endangered more by his Physician, than his Disease. The Patient is the State: 
Infoeliciter aegrotat, cui plu● est à Medico periculi quam à Morb●.  and her Physician is the Senate. But small judgement (it seems) had this Physician either of her water, or her pulse. For, her water is turned into blood: and her pulse beats nothing but distemper. Members fight One with Another: and threaten Dissolution to the Whole.  Osb. 
Their comfort is, their precipice cannot be steep: seeing the whole Island must be laid Level.  Hunt. 
Too certain; These Civil Wars must leave such impressive Scars to Posterity; that though this term of Levelling sound cheerfully in the Ear of debauched Haxters, and profuse Rioters; who look for a day when Debts must pay themselves: and Tradesman's Books make public Bonfires: yet be there many plump fed Lobsters both in City and Country, will hold it a strange Catastrophe; when the very Dregs of the Land must squeeze their Vessels: and their hopeful Heirs, for whom they took such infatigable care; become Sharers at best with these Levelling Sharks.  Osb. 
It will be, indeed, a strange World, my Masters! as that Corydon of Croyden said, When the Winfleet Oistresse must ride cheek by you'll with the Lady Mayoresse in her Caroche: and with a gracious buxom bed, salute her Subjects as She yoggs along, with, a God save you my good People.  Hunt. 
Thou dost well, Osborne, in making a merriment of thy Misery.  Osb. 
Do well or ill, all's a matter. Wars grounded on Such Principles, could never far better. He that holds himself safe, should he Sat at the Stern, in a Disturbed State? Surely, He's as dangerously Distracted as any raving Soul that inhabits it. We were too well fed, to be no better taught. We enjoyed plenty; and our Surfeiting begot in us a Loathing: and our next descent, Scarcity. We desired infinitely to fight, though we knew not for what. Pretences and Shadows were fair inducements to ruin a Kingdom. " So sweet is War to those that know it not.  
Three grave requisites are to be assisting of necessity to legitimate a War: viz. Supreme Authority. A Sound Cause. A just Intention: For Commanding it, for Undertaking it, for Execution of it. But whether these just grounds were found in our Palace yard at Westminster, or no? that's a material Quaere.  
They may fob a deluded State, with telling. All is for the Public Good; mean time, Private Coffers be those vast Exchequers of the State.  
The Jewish Corbona may not be compared to their Storehouse. Mean time, our Commonty is merely gulled; They wonder how so many Sequestered States, insupportable Loans and Levies in times of Free Quarter, should be employed: and the Army remain unsatisfied.  Hunt. 
No man that has his brains about him will wonder at it: Those State-Saints, in the times of their fears, 
Make inquiry at the Leopard, the Unicorn, the Victory, the S, the Ensurer, the Sovereign, (wherein they desire no great share:) And some of these will acquaint you better, where these Gebezzais have banked their treasure.  discovered sufficiently where both their Hearts and Treasures lay. The Parliaments Golden Navy launched forth in those days for Holland, with other convenient Coasts; where their Wisdoms had set their Rest. Their Purveyors were sent before them; but since their panic fears vanished, they never to this hour overtook them. Those, who were scarcely Saviours at home, in the time of Peace; are now become Usurers abroad, in this time of War. Thus the English State becomes a Foreign Staple.  Osb. 
Mean time, what will become of us that can neither thrive at home, nor abroad?  Hunt. 
We may thank our loyal Service for it.  Osb. 
'Tis true; and thou art to be commended for't. I cannot compare thee more fitly, Huntingdon, then to One of those brave courageous Dogs that the Prince of Albany sent to Alexander the Great; who scorned to fasten on any Small or inferior Beasts, as Fox, Badger, wild Goat, or Otter; but Lions, Elephants, Panthers and Tigers. None but brave victorious OLIVER, that Universal Leveller; who makes but an Harvest work of mowing down both Wales and Scotland: where in his military Progress (for War is but His recreation) He was entertained with more Debonair Salutes, and Courtly Congees by that Achitophel-ARGYLE, then ever He vouchsafed to bestow on his Sovereign all his time; None, I say, but this Northern Terror, this Calidanian Conqueror, Welsh Warrior could serve thy turn to tug with: while it was my unhappiness to be snapped by a 
* This stigmatised Traitor was since made Govern: of the Isle of Wight, where He practices that blo●d: Design against his Sove●rigne Lord and Master.  Wesel; a Sultry Souter; who always had his ends: and lived by them. A rotten rebellious Runnegado, who left his Shop to salute the KING his Master with a Pistol Shot. A pilfering Night ranger, that had more Diseases than an Horse: A Fistula in his breech; an Imposthume in his breast; and an Apostasy in his heart.  Hunt. 
Yea Osborne, but now Fistula dulce canit—. 
A Wild Barren brain for a Lord Chief Baron.  Gaffer WILD, that Child-Chopper of the Chequer, has from certain parcels of partiall-guilt Nonsense, cured Him of all Diseases, and made Him go straight.  Osb. 
But never of the King's Evil.  Hunt. 
Thou meanest of the Evil he meant the King!  Osb. 
What else?  Hunt. 
Pish! Osborne, thou dashed the very heart of thy Cause out in the beginning: for though thy Plea were justifiable, thy Foe despicable, nay in the presence of Loyalty detestable: though (I say) thy Cause were as worthy, as his Case nasty, yet thou darknedst it so at the very first, as it could never promise better success at the last.  Osb. 
How! darkened it?  Hunt. 
Yes, I'll tell thee how: The first grounds of that Charge, thou laidst against Him were so soiled, sullied, and purfled with Saw-pit Sand, as when it came to be read, very few of either House could Discover the Character.  Osb. 
Thou art pleasant, Huntingdon; But had that Saw-pit Peer lived in Severus' time, He would have choacked him with his own Dust, for labouring to gravel such an Act of High Treason.  Hunt. 
True; but what Act can make Him a Traitor, that acts nothing against the KING but as a Public Officer? His Prerogative-Royall extinct, Treason loseth her name.— But now Osborne, Since like two tame Fools, we are catched both in one Net; let it be no Eyesore to thee, that my Foe should be a Conqueror, 
Parum refert an compedibus aureis an ferreiss perstringar, modò detincar. Pausan. in Plut.  thine a Cobbler. It Skills not much whether my Fetters be of Gold or Iron, so long as I remain in Prison. But I hear, Osborne, how thy private Interest having failed in thy Design of freeing the KING, has lately forced thee (what will not the activest and clearest Spirits do in cases of necessities) to make thy Addresses to the House.  Osb. 
It were well argued by Those that Object these Addresses against me, if they could find where that Interest lay. It is well known to the whole world, I was free and at liberty to go whither I would, before I gave notice to the Houses of this treacherous Design against His Majesty. Upon Discovery whereof (after such time as that White-livered Leveller had disburdened his Pocket of my Letter) most Men were of opinion that the Houses would hardly bestow any reward upon me for my Intelligence, at least, it hath not hitherto appeared. So that no other Address but the Public Interest, wherein every loyal Subject is concerned, The Preservation of His Sacred Majesty, had influence upon Me, to draw me to This: and upon this ground, God (I hope) will still assist me against Hammond, whom I count a silly weak Man in all actions, except Villainy and Treason: and that branded Assacin Rolph: and all their Complices.  Hunt. 
Thou dost well in that, Osborne; resolution must either make us Parliament-proof, or I know not what will become of us. Should we hang down head like Bulrushes, we should be presently accounted False-Accusers: Such as were ashamed of our Charge.  Osb. 
Which for my part, I shall never be: Truth is, that Reverend Senate which pretends such Uprightness; may be ashamed to enjoin us a peremptory Day to pursue our Charge: and now being ready to justify our Plea; thus to trifle time, and post us off with fruitless Delays: Which presupposeth Some (and those no Rooks of a Low Perch neither) to be accessary to the Bill.  Hunt. 
Blame them not then if they make it their Labour, to slip their necks out o'th' Collar.— Now I profess to thee, Osborne, (for I am so persuaded) that those Senate Zimri's who have been hatching their Crocodile-eggs visibly these eight years; but invisibly Some Decades of Time; mean by some nimble tricks of Legerdemain to have those hateful Traitors, whom we have justly accused and impeached, clearly acquitted; and ourselves who stand in Defence of our Plea, personally indicted.  Osb. 
So, indeed, was that Wildmans' Motion.  Hunt. 
And were not this extreme justice, for us to be thrown into Prison, for our labouring by timely prevention, the preservation of the KING's Person?  Osb. 
Pish! What dost thou speak of Justice? 
— Terras Astraearel quit.  Westminster-hall has shut gates of her long ago. That Court of Wards Cushion, whose imbrodery professed itself an Attorney for the Widow and Fatherless, is worn to the bottom. That Court cannot be more out of Request then the Cushion out of Date. Besides, that Dieu & Mon Droit, which was sometimes held a proper Posy for every Court of Justice, suffers with our Saints in all our Cathedral and Parochial Church-windows: being a French Posy, and held Superstitious, because it smells of the Country of Queen Mary.  Hunt. 
Whereto then shall we appeal! To the Court of Conscience?  Osb. 
In no case; That was put down with the High Commission. Though in truth, it went out of the Court long before the Court went down.— No; since we are shut from all Courts, let us fly into ourselves: The Sanctuary of a Sincere Conscience; where we shall find a faithful Advocate to plead our Innocence.  Hunt. 
Agreed.  
" Let Foes and Furies rage, a loyal breast  
" May safely say, Come Soul, and take thy rest.  
FINIS.   

THE STATE-MONKY; OR, The DISLOYAL FAVOURITE: From PARTHES' De Gest: Arag: Originally extracted, with all propriety rendered, and to an Eminent Subject of these Times, personally applied.  SEN: 
In ipso Scelere, fructus Sceleris est.  
NO Creature more odious than Man, when he begins to unman himself. No Member more dangerous to his Country, than a Court-fawne, or State-sharke. Such an One, has crept into the posture of Courting Sin: and idolatrizing Sense. All his aim is to prepare a Curtain, to shroud his vice from Discovery. For in his too much heightened prostitution, He becomes more jealous of the Grooms of the Privy-Chamber; then the Allseeing eyes of the Almighty. We shall need no other Pencil, than his own loose life to draw his feature. He has by this time, set up his Court in another Orb. Lust is too hot to nestle long in One Ciyme. And here suppose Him imbathing and Sating his Swelling desires in those usurped embraces of his Dalilah. Mean time, that distressed and woefully distracted State, from whence They came; and whereto They owe themselves, suffers infinitely for their folly. Fields become Wastes; Cities, Wildernesses; Forts, demolished; Towns, dis-peopled; Herds, estranged from their Downs; Flocks, from their Folds; Fear at home, Fury abroad; Nuptials made Funerals; Cheerful Brides, careful Widows; Old-men, Youngman's Executors; and those who were nearest them in blood, their Executioners; Sons at enmity with their Fathers; Fathers their Sons betrayers; the reeking Sword raging in every corner; the thirsty ground opening her jaws to take in the forage of every day's Slaughter. All this while, this Man of Sense, this Zany of Pleasure, braves it in the prohibited Delights of a Devested Prince: retaining not so much as the least Sentiment of his restrained CHIEF; who improved his liberty: nor of that PERSONS honour: whose abused Greatness bestows now a Vermilion blush on her too long eclipsed Majesty.  
Reflect on thy condition, thou Sensual Libertine! Is it possible that any Creature endued with reason, should labour His ruin, from whom He received his extraction? Were not the Names of Artaces and Nabarzanes branded with lasting dishonour, for practising unworthily against their Founders?  
Recall to mind those private Addressrs, betwixt thy Disloyal self, and that Perfidious Senate-house; and thou wilt confess thy mercenary baseness. A Scandal to the Bed of Honour: A professed villain to a just Master. Eye thine own actions, and see what thou findest in them! Was not Ingratitude screwed up to a sufficient height, by being Sharer in that princely pleasure, wherein none was to retain a property save the true Owner; and He thy Master: but thou must mould new Designs, to obstruct all means of his Assistance: lest his liberty might abridge this freedom of thy injurious Dalliance? O imparaleled impudence! An ambitious pursuit of Sovereignty (though Majesty seldom admit Corrivals) is more Dispensable, than this continued Track of Sensuality, which abridgeth life by corrupt love: and effeminates Man by exposing his Divinest Faculties to the Service of Sense.  
Nor shall that native ardour, nor sinnowy vigour, which for a Season sprinkles in thy blood; and makes thee such a choice Object to so eminent a Mistress; render the ever grateful to such embraces. There can be no Perpetuity in a Subject of Frailty: There can be no perpetuity in a Subject of frailty: much less in a Prospect of folly. Emblems may we see of this mutability, wheresoever we suffer our eyes to be Spectators. Now should thy Person incur disesteem, or an easy neglect through dis-ability: or become wholly slighted by a more active, and attractive favourite: what a strange Catastrophe would this produce in thee? With what folded Arms, melancholy Walks, pensive thoughts, and pitiful aie-mee's, wouldst thou ravel out the remainder of thy days: And so fool thee self in bethinking how miserably happy thou were't in the fruition of thy former fancy: and consequently, how unhappy, by being insensible of those miseries which thy empoisoned affection had brought on thee? What imperfection attends that Solace, which is ever accompanied with repentance! And such are thine, unhappy man, whose insatiate appetite admits no mean. What is a Moment to Eternity? Hear the advice of a Sage Professant: If thou wilt needs open thy bosom to love; fix it on such an Object of Fancy; as thou mayst have in it a just propriety. Stolen waters may seem sweet to the Sense; but they taste bitter to the Soul. Thy own Cistern will afford the sweetest and purest.  
To divert then from thee, this opinion of being a Germane wonder, nay, a Monster in deluding thy Master; and in betraying thy Country, a Viper: arise from those sheets of shame: Cure thy distemper by a timely absence from thy Mistress. Sloth and delicacy is the only effeminator of Man: and fomenter of Sin. The Poet confirms it: 
Want of employment makes the wisest err,  
Sloth caused Aegistus play th' Adulterer.   
These present Civil Wars invite thee; Thy Prince's safety enjoins thee; The redemption of thine Honour calls upon thee. Though Reputation be not so easily gained as lost: yet so graceful be those Returns which remorse of Conscience makes: as they beget in us a pious pity, and religious joy, wheresoever we find these evidences of an unexpected, but unfeigned Conversion.   

PEMBROKE'S PLEA: OR, A just Vindication of his HONOUR, from all those injurious Aspersions, AND Abusive INVECTIVES of these TIMES.  
Non facilis est venia, prava dixisse de rectis.  
IT cannot be without wonder, that this Age so much distempered with Civil Factions; should be taken up with such prejudicacy, as to retain no candid, nor clear thoughts for Personages of Honour. Such especially, whose actions, were they summed up from their first infancy and initiation in the Court; or Affairs of State: cannot merit any rigid or Critic Censure, as might justly lay either upon themselves, or those Families from whence they were Anciently derived, in reality the least dishonour.  
This cannot in any one be more personally, nor presentially instanced then in our Chancellor of Oxford, the Earl of Pembroke. Against whom, some virulent-traducing Pens, to disgorge their exuberance of wit or Surquedry rather, have used such abusive liberty; as their vindication of those expulsed Members of Colleges within that University; cannot do less than bring along with it an error of judgement in all those who made choice of Him, for their Chancellor, whom his Speeches, Actions, or palpable Ignorance, as is pretended; have rendered so odious, or incapable of such Academic Honour. Why was not this foreseen, and timely prevented, before He came to be elected? Did He walk more in the Clouds then now? or did He discover more hopes of protecting, or improving the Privileges of that famous Seminary then now appears? No; it was neither his neglect of These; nor his disregard of Those, whom in point of Honour He was to protect: No; nor his pretended ignorance, but ready compliance with those late-domineering Visitants, that begot Him distaste. Admit all this; resolve me candidly what might probably be done in this Case to salve his honour: and retain the affection of those Houses, who by Ordinance of Parliament were to become subject to the Sentence and Censure of those Visitants? Should He have opposed the proceedings of these Visitants? No; for so should He have opposed the two Houses of Parliament: and for his Opposition purchased to himself a Deposition.  
But He should have allayed the fury and violence in their form of Proceeding! No doubt he did; using by way of persuasion the best means He could to attemper and sweeten the tartness of their Censure: that Stoical roughness of their behaviour. For had He done otherwise; as by public reproof, or authorized Severity, admonished them to look to their Principles: and not to transgress those bounds which a Superior Command had prescribed them; His honour had run himself upon the same Rock. For those University Visitants were no such Moderate Men, nor Meek Spirits, as to admit of reproof. They knew well their own strength: whom to appeal to; and from whom to receive speedy redress; upon the very lest complaint exhibited: or affront pretended.  
Yet all this cannot clear Him (you will say;) It had been the Duty of an honest and integrious Chancellor, in discharge of the trust conferred on Him, and recommended to Him; to encounter all extremes rather then to suffer any pretensive or Deputative Power to encroach upon the ancient Statutes, Laws and Liberties of the University; whose Patriot, Patron and Protector He had professed himself to be. But what would all this have advantaged the Cause! This might, indeed, have prepared way for an Other to Succeed him: but not to redress those wrongs done to the Place committed to him. Yet, will Some allege, his Honour was highly conscious of one Erour; which, no doubt, He might seasonably have diverted; by interposing himself by way of authoriy, for the indemnity of such Scholars, whose known abilities, sweet and Docile natures merited not only approvement, but advancement in the opinion of Honour: and whose rising hopes might have presented them Singular Ornaments to so absolute a Mother. It is answered; that his unquestioned desires applied them seriously though not so effectually that way, as He did wish. For such Severe Censors were those Visitours; as neither able parts nor affable natures could have any influence upon them. If they appeared not pliable to their bent, suitable with their strain; They might necessarily incur Censure. The walls of the University were of too straight a Circumference to confine them.  
Thus you see how groundless aspersions have been thrown upon his Honour without Cause; being desirous with his most studious endeavours to pursue, what His Countermanded Power could not effect.  
Shall we now peruse Him as He was Courtier, or employed in affairs of State? It was sometimes observed by a Wise and experienced Historian; that there were three Objects, of all Others, most fatally dangerous to a qualified Courtier. Ambition; Avarice; and Recede from employment. Let us examine these in Him.  
Ambitious He was never; for his desires were ever impaled within the freedom of their own just limits. His highest Ambition was how to prefer the just Suit of an injuried Petitioner, and to expedite it without Charge to the Preferrer. To be eminent in the eye of a Prince; and make use of his royal favour in so pious an Office is a glorious Ambition. Besides, he was never observed to carry a Supercilious Look: nor retain a Difficulty of access. Bearing a cheerful pleasant aspect to all Comers and Suitors, without an imperious Dis-relishing frown; which was such a Stranger to his Countenance; as there was nothing He held at more distance.  
For Avarice; there is none that truly knows Him, but will witness for Him, that it was never in request with Him; nor admitted to take acquaintance of Him.  
He was never mercenary in the amplest favours He showed to any. So as, though there have been ever many both Justiciaries and Courtiers who might be aptly resembled to the Celidonie Stone, that loseth its virtue and vigour, when it ceaseth to be touched with Gold; His Honour was not of that humour. Wealth was one of his lowest and contemtiblest Objects. His Revenues, indeed, were great; which might have stored his coffers with an affluence of treasure: but his desires were never confined to those ends. His bounty every where returned Him this testimony.  
For Recede from employment; it was a thing, which of all other, He most hated. He was, you will say, a Man of pleasure. He was, indeed, much addicted to Exercise and Recreation; wherein He would usually be very Sociably merry. Some slight perfunctory Passion might, perchance, sometimes overtake Him; but it was quickly overcome by Him. In all these Recreations and Delights, a pleasing familiarity accompanied Him; which in all Places procured him love: Being nothing like Some of our Surly Lords; who hold familiarity in such contempt; as they become contemptible to their familiars.  
Some infirmities, I must confess, He has; as every One has Some: and He the best who is Subject to the least. And of These He reputes Him. Neither is He at any time incensed at Such as friendly admonish Him of them: but with all affability thank them. Habits, indeed, in Vice, are sooner got then forgone. But his desire to be reclaimed from them, argues his hate to them: with his resolution wholly to decline them.  
His small acquaintance and familiarity with Books, should not muster Such Invectives against his Person: though Learning be the exquisitest beauty, that can embellish Honour; yet it directs not always a line to that Centre. There be more Havens to arrive at then Corinth. To be a Protector of Learning, though no Professor, is praiseworthy in Honour.  
Now, to conclude this Apology; whereas, much might be here Objected against Him touching his Compliance with these times; what that Great Favourite spoke sometimes to ingenious Pibrack; may be returned in his behalf: Honours and Revenues be strong pulleys to frailty.  
But I am confident, his Honour retains in Him thoughts of Loyalty: and will be ready to manifest them to the world with all reality.  
You then, who usually walk in Shades of Wormwood, cease from dipping your Pens in the least tincture of Gall, that may any way tend to the impeachment of Honour. There be other Subjects fitter for Loyally-affected Subjects. Let your Pens be so employed, that Goodness may be rather encouraged; then the least hopes of proficiency in actions of Honour retarded.  
For his Secretary Michael Olds worth, Esquire, (so nearly symbolising both in name and nature with that Eminent confined Divine) as His abilities are well known: so is his integrity no less approved.  
He shoots shafts at the Moon, (as one no less worthily then Morally observeth) who out of a Malignant humour, makes it his labour to darken the splendour of Goodness and Honour.  
FINIS.   

A POTION FOR BRITANICUS: WITH A Cordial powder for the Stationary Eve-dropper; that Sir Reverence Rabbi LUKE HARRUNEY.  
A tergo Nemesis.  
HO! you sirrah Brutish Britannicus.— You nitty-nasty Law-louse; the Anagram of a good face—. Pray thee, Sir GREGORY NONSENSE, mark what a noose thou hast woven for thyself! If thy traduced Mercurius play not Titaeus' part, and make thee hang thyself by his tart, but true discovery of thee, I shall conclude thou hast fool's fortune: and that want of understanding kept thee from hanging. For I shall no sooner have dissected thy Carrian quality, than thou wilt wish with all thy heart (lafoy) that thou were't transformed by Medusa's black rod, into one of those Insecta that thou brainlesly talked of.  
Now to thy Anatomy Lecture; which for mere pity sake, I I shall do with favour; lest (thou Prodigy of Loyalty and Nature) thy display should make thee a Spectacle of too much horror to any modest Reader. First then, (thou cheeck-aside Groat) shall I touch thy face? O no! It looks like a Noli me tangere. Thy party par pale will not endure the touch. Besides that, St. Antony's Fire (my squeaking Ginny Pig) which holds such affinity with thy crazy physiognomy, proclaims to the whole world, that some Incubus or other makes thy mummitized body their nightly Hackney.— How bravely my Didapper fluttered in Cornelius Tub! from whence, after some small vent or respiration, thou presented thy Adamite head like a Moulted Skale-drake, without so much as one hair of a natural Periwig. And well, thou scaped so; for the sacrifice of a tuft of Goatish hair, or of a decayed Calf, were unsatisfactory Gauges for discharge of the Mountebanks Bill. Thus, my Neapolitan Nit, having with much bathing, cupping and chase recovered thy desperately-infected Body from the Claws of the Grinchams: and after all this, procured a speedy cure of the Snap thou hadst got over shins with a French Faggot: thou seconded thy recovery with an honest resolution, if thou hadst so much grace as to hold it; that thou wouldst never (for, burnt Child fire dreads) from that time forward endanger falling into any such Venetian Purgatories.— But 
The Devil fell sick, the Devil a Friar would be,  
The Devil grew well, the Devil a Friar was he.   
But now, my illiterate Cricket, I will break off from any further discovery of those broad-spreading Maladies of thy Malignant body (being the true Emblem of a Radish for its frailty:) and take a little pains in display of those exuberant distempers of thy mind.  
In the first place then, give me leave to become thy Remembrancer: for it is much to be feared (if thou were't a thing worthy either our fear, or our care) that thou art fallen into Corvinus Messalahs' disease; having either forgot, or else wholly lost thy good name.  
Tell me then, my surly grumbling Don, dost not remember how thy Father, though he had small hopes of thee, and as weak promises of proficiency from that Pedant who taught thee; adventured to send thee to the University, purposely to enable thee, if there were any virtue, or qualifide ability extant in thee: but how quickly, and that deservingly fell thy Freshmanship under the hand of a rigid Censure: being for thy boyish misdemeanures publicly whipped; in the School for thy ridiculous Arguments shamefully hist; in thy own College unsociably jeered: and by general vote and voice for thy looseness of living, and incapacity to learning, excluded the University without mercy? But thy Ignorance hath clothed itself with such an incorrigible insolence; as thou scorned to follow the example of the humble Prodigal. Ask forgiveness for thy forepast follies! No; my ranting Ratoune; Thou hadst such bad success by Land, as thou meantest to make one Adventure by Sea; and to bring thy Merchandise from a far.  
A Wife is compared to a Ship; but in these Notions different: She is neither to have many Owners; seeing only one is to have in her a propriety: neither to ruffle it with her Top and Top-gallant; lest she should negotiate with folly, by entertaining those dresses of vanity; nor lay her broadside open to all encounters; neither admit Master-mates; nor partake with sharers. For this end, my dear Don, thou adventurously launched, and at last prosperously arrived, for want of a better Harbour, at Cuckold's Haven; where ever since, like a sullen Sourell, thou hast been shaking thy Velvet Head; but hopest in time to put forth: and brandish thy brow-antlers amongst the Elders.  
But we will leave thee with thy Britannica; intended at first for the Meridian of Duresme, but may serve indifferently, upon any intervening opportunity for all Great Britain.  
But see and wonder! This peeking-Popingay-Puppy has by this time got an infinite itch (to sympathise with his in-laid, and skin-laid Erysipelis) to be seen in Print. He must fool it in folio; there's no remedy. In such miserable follies do these madding times ensnare these Wittol Widgeons. But he must use the weak wings of his Coy-ducke to mount with: otherwise, his short Icarian flight must be soon at an end. And who may this be? A Comrade, or fellow-Journeyman of his; one for his wit of the same Last and Size. A base Bell-buzard, who will seize on any prey for his advantage: and, indeed, a late baffled bonby, who, take my word for't, for his practice will neither do Law nor Learning hurt, unless it be to eat up their Commons. But this Ingle must be his Instrument to put his best helping hand to this weekly Sheet work: or Mounseur Clot-braine must suffer his web to fail in the Looms. Suppose them then jogging and justling their equally-poized noddles together: and like two addle Eggs thrown out of one nest, sent abroad to beget a noisome steam in the nostrils of any sensible Reader; breathing out this, in their Peripatetic Garden-walke, for a settled Conclusion: That Britannicus, who either out of his ambition, or his Cumra les discretion, to free his hide from a lash, was to take upon him the Title of an Author, and should play the Mercurist: though neither He, nor his Assistant knew the Gender of Mercurius. And this Puny-Puppy must take upon him to oppose all those honest Mercurii, who wrote in their love to loyalty, for the honour of their Country.  
Mean time, this egregious Dotterel dips his Goose-quill in such poisonous gall as might (for so his lean-lying Genius meant) turn the colour of zeal: and by his Paradoxes in defence of Rebellion, repair that main breach of his irreparably decayed Breaches. O Democritus, resolve thee self to laughter: for thou hadst never a rarer Subject to tickle thy spleen: nor such a Braintrap in all thine Isle of Gulls to sport with!  
It was not sufficient for this Rebellious Rascal, this sordid sultry Sutler to soil pure paper with impertinences and Taphouse Stories purchased at the Expense of a double Jugge at the utmost; but he must vilify their Persons, whom he dare not look on; hoping to be so superseded by his Britannic Anonymus, as his unknown Name may give him liberty (under Mabbots privilege) to impeach any man's Name, and make it as infamous as his own.  
Nor is it his only Profession to asperse dishonour on those, who in the Opinion of best men, are held approved: but, by playing the base Sycophant, to magnify those, whose Names are odious to the Ears of all good men: nay, whose Memories shall rot, and to perpetuate their shame, leave stamps of ignominy to their hopeless Families, for Cautions to Posterity.  
Let but Britannicus purchase a pair of uninterested Spectacles, if he may reserve so much from his Commons, and peruse his Catalogue of purple Magisteriall Bench-whistlers; those reverend Scarlet Grand Gulls: who never remember to whom they are sworn: nor to whom they are by allegiance to adhere: nor whose Persons they represent in their dispensation of judgement. O brave Sages! Politic Sconces! Deserve not these to be recorded? yes, sure; but in the Black Book, where all State-Zimry's must be canonised. Mean time, what Hyperbolees must these soils of honour and Stains to Justice have bestowed on them; to make the face of TREASON look with the clearer Countenance?  
For to descend to thy Critical Catalogue: (for I protest, thou deservest well to be pillored by the Parliament Party, for abusing those State-shadowes: and bestowing on their immeriting persons, such undeserving praises:) So as instead of the Clawing Sycophant, thou actest the part of a Saucy Critic; in praising those whom all the world condemns: and for those pretended virtues, which their tainted breasts never harboured. For that praise falls into dispraise, where either the Praiser wants judgement: 
☜  or the Party praised wants merit. Neither is it less Criticism, to praise where either the Object or Subject admits no praise.  
Thus with a palpable cheating Ignorance, thou committest a double Offence: First, in deluding these Authentical Transgressor's: in making them believe (if thy flattery could make them so credulous, or confidently opinionate, as to hug their folly) that all this long tract of disloyalty, wherein they have so assiduately stalked and trampled on the face of honour, was a path of public conveniency; leading to the safety, security, and liberty of the Subject: and no disturbance to a civil peace; their Principles tending to no other end, nor their Designs aiming at any other Object, than Reformation of Church by introducing a Presbyterian Government: and redress of abuses coincident to the State, by coercion of Their power, who might otherwise extend Their power by a Privilege of Sovereignty, and convert their Commands into a Tyranny.  
This (my poor Rook) were a plausive palliating way, if thy shallow brains could either press it: or integrity of judgement prove it. But least one wedge drive out another, I must have a touch (my paltry Parasite) at thy next error: Wherein thou desirest (but shallow-grounded desires ever produce groundless effects) to delude the People: whose judgements, were they as purblind as thine own, thou wouldst make them believe, that whatsoever that Perenniall Consistory of State has already ordered or shall hereafter order, conduceth principally to Their improvement; and the Kingdom's honour: That there is no error, nor any Symptom of a corrupt Member, in that grave and gracious Senate-house. No Ordure (He would say Order) in that High and magnificent Praetorian of Honour.  
What a Pythias would this Orator prove, if the ground were sound, he walked on! But such a Damp steames from below, as it argues, some hollowness within. There will appear Knavery in this Saintly Consistory, or the World's cozened. All is not gold that glisters, The mettle of this Massy Capitol resembles th' Amalga; it has more Moon than Sun in it.  
But now to those Reverend Patriots, which thy bleared eyes have summoned up, and so highly mounted. " The ravenous Puttock pursues the Parliament Kite. Pleasure more suitable for an Haggler than a generous Falconer.  
Now for the first, He derives his title from Kent. " A man, whose faith and uprightness is many degrees above all that reproach which the foulest of mouths can lay upon him.  
Show me, thou nasty excremental Ibis, what Bird, or in what Airy, that is more likely to blast the fame of any good man, than thy foul Mouth; Wherein impudence and ignorance hold such predominance; as no modest ear capable of Sense, can choose to do less then glow to hear humanity so much abused, by making itself a Zany to every Society: an Object of contempt to all clear judgements.  
The moralist can tell thee (thou Scarabee to honour) that virtues become vices and change ' their nature, when from a vicious tongue they receive their lustre.  
Trust me, Sneaking Rat, I should account it more praiseworthy, to be held thy professed foe then thy friend: and glory more in thy disesteem then thy praise: for thy want of judgement would make me jealous of myself, for some main defect, if I should receive approvement from thy pen. So as, this Kentish Peer were but little beholden to thee, if any virtue be extant in him: seeing thy blanched praises rather impeach then improve him.  
For thy Second Patriot or Conscript Statist; He is an Antiquary; One, who were he as Loyal as Learned, might be more deservingly reputed. But I wish He heard thee, how thy frantic pen commends him. " A man not to be named without a religious kind of horror, and secret veneration. What means this religious horror, thou injurious Tetter? Sure, there is either an error in the propriety of the Author, or escape from the Printer. For I appeal to the Person concerned in thy frivolous discourse, if in all His Readins through the whole Course of his Antiquities, He ever read such a pitiful phrase.  
Thirdly, for thy English Brutus; thoustyles Him more properly than thou thought of: For whosoever knows Colonel Henry Martin, will conclude, that he'd not stick to act Brutus' part, if he had but opportunity to stab Caesar in the Capitol.  
As for Master Speaker, being (as he is rendered) A Gentleman of admired constancy and faith to the State, and who to the infinite prejudice of his health (but allegiance will prescribe him a cordial) hath stood constantly to his duty, and will leave a better memory behind him then any of his Accusers.  
I must tell thee in the first place, that Comparisons are odious; there may chance to be an Accuser, who upon equal terms may cope with your Speaker. Mean time, many of those who know him are verily persuaded, that he would with all his heart lose all those vast sums which he has purchased with his Tongue, upon condition he might have no occasion to make Buttons with his T.  
For Mr. Solicitor, whose very name attests him a Saintly Professor;" He is a person of too much worth and honour to be tainted by a slander. Yet I must tell you, Sirrah Snap, for all his integrious candour, Sir John Stowell did not stick to lay more to his charge, than his untainted fidelity could well answer.  
For Mr. Justice Rolls," A man of endowments, excellent, and not the least, for his parentage, contemptible; (observe the contemptible propriety of this phrase) One whom the violentest malice durst never yet attach, till the madness of this pen (dipped in gall and poison) did first attempt it.  
Would not this Tucca prove a daring Champion in defence of tainted honour! Well, Sirrah; if thy practice fail, (as I am persuaded thou wilt never be guilty of much) I'll tell thee how thou shalt improve thy valour, and with sordid veils minister fresh fuel to thy braving humour; Turn Bolt or desperate Haxter; thou needst not want for Inmates; thy Coy duck will furnish thy Covey. But tell me, my Gue, whence is't, that thou shouldst have such confidence, in a distempered brain, to maintain these attesting Assacinates, these timing Assertors of disloyalty! Had thine empty Sconce been gifted like that acute Erasmus, Gaudanus, Cornel. Agrippa, ingenious Rhesnerus, or sprightly Co●radus, or that no less present than pregnant Perottus, than thou mightest with more assurance have writ as they did: Paradoxes of different Subjects: and transcendents to inferior judgements. Tasks more witty than necessary; addressed to the Praise of Folly; Vanity of Knowledge; Bravery of Beggary; Beauty of Deformity: Or what might more properly and experimentally Suit with thy fancy, BRITANNICUS; Pasquil's in Praise of the French Pox; in Honour of a Cuckold: and the commodious Society of a Louse.  
Neither was this Subject which thy cloddy brain undertook, of less difficulty, if thy Scribbling pen could have performed it as artfully.  
Traiters are strange Subjects for Encomiastics: Thou mightest have come off far better, (though such a Task, I confess, could not have redounded much to thine honour) in praising thee self, as Apuleius did his Ass. But I smell thy meaning why thou reserved a Skirt of thy sheet to wrap up the praises of these Rabshakaths in. It is thy aim, if ever thou creep into practice (as there's very small hope on't) by this poor sneaking insinuating way, to make these Reverend Benchers so much thy friends, as thou mayst by their countenance, procure audience and attention to thy Mariot-motion: and so by the present help of a ten groats Fee Satis●e thy Maw-worm: having told thy Tale, got bread and cheese, and come thy way.  
But I will spend no more time in probing these impostumous ulcers. Bray the fool in a mortar, he will never be wiser. What a folly were it then to contest, with such a madding Antagonist! 
Since he who has to deal with dirty foes,  
He must be foiled, whether he win or lose.   
Only, out of the pity I bear thee, let me advise thee, to divorce thee from this foolish Title of BRITANNICUS; it befools thee above measure, and makes thee as ridiculous, as that Shrewsbury Weaver, who familiarly spoke Nonsense to his Shutle.  
Fawns thy Stationer, holding such firm relation to Allegiance, has vowed, never to bestow more charge on thy Scribbling, to the value of one ream of paper: And for that ugly speckled Bird, Partridge, He hath freely protested, that he would not be at the charge of publishing it, but for the hate he bears to some particular persons, who inveigh against it.  
So as, these Pattent-Papers of thine (for we know well how thou holds in fee of that Saintly Synod) may sleep peaceably with Mayes, and Spongy Sprigs mouldy Chronicles (such spurious sprigs varnish our bloomy May) to the General Resurrection: whilst that welsh Stationer of the Rose & Crown finds just cause to complain with that Pasquil in Castalion. Eheu! Multi dum libros typis mandare volunt; Typographi liberos mendicare cogunt. But his Zeal supersedes his want of Sale. Leave off then betime, lest one royalist or other to thine utter dishonour bastinado thee out of thine humour. 
Thus from Minerva's Hall to Laverna's Kitchen  
I leave thee falling, where thou scap't a switching  
For having after Print so mad an itching.   
For I must tell thee, thy sinister mischievous pen ofttimes begets a Foe where it intends a Friend.  
Thy ominous friendly figure-caster, languishing Lily, whose approaching ruin, (maugre all his Divination) makes him look like a Russeting, being now out of all hope to be saved by his Book; holds himself much aggrieved to be charged with a Wench, by his dear BRITANNICUS. This makes him bellow from his Astronomical Cave.— Et tu Brute!— Go to then; leave betime, lest thou lick o'th' whip. Pin thyself up in thy Spider-woven Study: and if thou find so much capacity left thee, as to aspire to the Desk of a Puny Clerk; apply thy weak pericranium that way: for to use thy own phrase, thy radical humour for Minerva is wholly exhausted in thee. Thou art as fear as a Skeleton. How dared thou then so impudently tax our late MERCURIUS, whose known abilities are not to be measured by thy Last, for inventing Themes; when they were real Speeches: and transcribed by so sincere an Amanuensis, as his approved esteem is spheared above all exception? But me thinks, in repeating this word Theme, thou shouldst remember how Master Birch served thee for playing the Truant, and pilfering thy Theme out of Apthonius: an Author too precious to be abused by such a brutish Britannicus.  
Thou censurest him too, like a bold Bayard, For rambling in Poetry, and making an huge-sort of Verses in the Baeotick dialect; which are in English to persuade the swarms of 
* Sirrah Blewbotle, Bully Blewcap will go near to turn your Roundisme into true Blue.  Blue-caps to advance hither once more, to perfect those rudiments of civility which they once got in England. But such squeaking oratory as his (says this State-puppy) is not likely to persuade those ears, who are not guided with any thing so much, as the real appearances of a groat a day and flesh.— Fury and folly mad thee! Has not thy misguided Genius deluded thee? Is not 
* Referring to the Scotch last incursion: a design pursued with more hope than success.  Calidony become a Cavalry; marching along bravely with their High General Hamilton; Lieutenant General Calendar; Major General Lenrick for the Foot: with sundry other brave Scotch Commanders, and numerous Forces furnished with all Ammunition, and 
* But you will say, those formidable Forces are dispersed! its true; but their dillo all Duke's feigned restraint, has given fresh Summons to the Scots for a fearful recruit: having already resolved (with the joint vote and voice of their KIRKE) either to redeem their endangered fame, and revenge the Sale and Slavery used to their Subjects: or to sacrifice their dearest lives in the Quarrel. LANCASHIRE, Return a just Account of those Blue bonnet Slaves you have sold: with your several Rates, Prices and Receipts at that Mart: for it will be expected at your hands. That Anarchiall Council of War may Vote down Monarchy: and impose a period to a specifical Charles, but never to a Successive King; A life cannot contract a line: Nor can a Prince unjustly suffer without revenge from his lineal Successor.  Warlike Provision already joined with General Langdale? Be not our best defensive Forts Northward, with men, money and munition sufficiently fortified? Be not their Forces daily increased? Has not the Navy lately declared how Allegiance must be the Card that steers their Course? Is not the City turned Retrograde? Nay, what is more than a nine nights wonder; is not their 
* Meaning Mayor Warner, that magisterial Monster.  Mayor become both Wise and Loyal against his will?  
But thou sayest, Thou wilt deliver us up to the justice and fury of the Kites (the Parliamenteeres thou meanest) if we continue thus to speak Truth! Base bugbear, suggest these affrights to those that fear thee. Our undaunted Spirits, as they know how to trample on thy villainy: So they slight the braves of an usurped power: the insults of a disloyal Enemy. 
He who reteins a Loyal heart within him,  
Threats cannot fright him, nor allurements win him.  
For in that Orb where Wisdom keeps her Court,  
Wise men holds Tyrants fools, their Censures sport.   
THERE is another walking Familiar; a peeking cozening Gipsy, a John of all Trades, having sojourned in as many Shops, as ever Proteus took upon him Shapes, whom I am to have a bout with too. One who can spit poison in the face of Sovereignty with more facility, than any Martin of them all; be he never so sufficiently qualified in the Notions of Treason and Disloyalty.  
This egregious plush-turned Rascal, whose back was not long since beholden to an overcast Hounds-ditch livery: and whose Stomach was usually gorged with the fly-blown reversions of a Pie-corner Pantry; is now become one of the Grandees of that King-impeaching Assembly. This Rogue passeth under two Names: where his Alias makes up the latter; by patching up a senseless 
* Jew, Kenelraker: would be an Anagram more fitly suiting this Heathen Interpreter.  Anagram for the firster. His Character shall render him a discovery. His numerous professions the Badges of his knavery. Shall we then draw up his yearly Compute? Yes; and in it find him thus distinguished; thus dignifide.  
Know all men by these presents, that this Mangy Mongrel in the year 1641. was a broken Iron-monger: from whence collect his Iron age. In the year 1642. having found the commodity of Iron through want of credit to be out of request: and of too hard and rusty a temper to digest; He became Petty Stationer, and sold small books, and ballads, winter-tales, Carols, Hooks and Eyes, Clasps and Bosses; And this was his Brazen age.  
But desirous to partake knavery in the highest measure; In the year 1643. intending to play the Evedropper, He skulked in the Lobby for News; to set his pestilent Forge a work: and in short time grew such a notorious Stigmatist that way, as by means of his broking Agents employed in that current Mintage of State-lies, He became the only Classic Author of the Age: witness those many millions of treacherous fictions, and shameless untruths, broached and frontlessely published under his own hand in print.  
Neither was this Horseleech thus satisfied; his palpable ignorance must screw itself to an higher degree of impudence: So as in the year 1647. this Ratle-braine, who took more of Rogue than Rabbi (this is one of the Devils tricks, ever to shame his Servants before he leave them) took upon him to write pitiful Funeral Anagrams in Hebrew: a Tongue that might be rendered in the Utopian language, for aught he knew. For this paltry parasitical Rascal, discovered in them as little sense, as he had before shown truth in his Pen, or sage in his Sconce.  
I shall little need to divine what will become of him. All those that know him, are verily persuaded, how that threedplush which he now wears, for all its bravery, must become the Livery of Tyburnes Gregory. And that He must at the feet of his Horse lie by doom of mortality, as he was permitted to lie here by Mabbots authority. TERENT. 
Dehinc ut quiescant porro moneo; & desinant  
Maledicere, malefacta ne noscant sua.   
FINIS.   

OLD FATHER LASHER; In Answer to that Scurrilous Libel, styled, but miscalled, The MODERATE.  
Scelera Sceleribus sunt tuenda.  
WHat have we here? The Moderate! Surely Corvinus, thou hast quite forgot thy Name. 
Nomen in Antithetis posuit— MODERATA durant.  For if an obscene Statizing Pamphlet may bear the Style of Moderate: or a sottish senseless Libel forced with Calumny, Treason and Blasphemy, hold in that predicament of Quality, the whole world, Sure, is whimzed: and has sent forth their wits a woolgathering, without all hope of recovery.  
But to follow thee hot-foot in thy own path; and trace thee in thine own tract; I mean to take a little pains with thee; not for that I hold thee worthy my labour: but that others, upon thy discovery, may look on thee, and bless them from thee, as an Abject from Grace, and an Object of Horror.  
To unkennel then this Mangy Mongrel; and uncase Him too if his Sultry Hide were worth it: you are to understand that this Campe-Cataline-Curat, or Pedantical Pedro, having traversed all Faiths, and served his Apostasy to all fashions: this Protean Gipsy, I say, to foment these Schisms of the time: and repair those Seam-rent Schisms of his Breeches: being in his Figleaf habit more like an Adamite, than a Senate Proselyte; chanced to fall into an anarchical Society, wherein after a short time of Probation, He became the Chayrman, and in his Paraean and unkinging Arguments such a public Professor; as this Isis' Ass was held their only Idol in all the Synagogue. After a very little instancy by this Holy Fraternity, he was persuaded to deliver his anarchical Opinion publicly (as Jezabel did out of her window) in BELS-ALLY. Where this 
* Where he no less locally then doctrinally infused this false Belief in those gadding Gadareus, his wand'ring Congregation; how that Bell-Alley was the very place where Bell combated with the Dragon.  Satanical Schismatic vented such impertinent childish Tautologies: with other Atheistical stuff to his judaical Assembly; As any Sober judgement would verily have thought that he had been some Lunatic, newly broke out of Bedlam: such apparent Symptoms of a frenzy did this Bremo discover both in Language and action. Now the principal points (and all not worth a point) whereon this bawling Cur insisted; were in such a levelling way digested: as in process of time, after sundry long gravellings, He laboured to present these his Familiars with a monstrous misshapen Body without an Head. Telling them plainly (for his Education from a pad-staffe, could not promise much Oratory) that as there was no Smith in Israel, so it stood with the conveniency of a State to have no King in Israel. And that He would prove by good authority, that in their first Institution, they were accounted as Ordinary men, both in respect of their Antiquity, Dignity, and Quality. For said He, what great Antiquity can they prescribe from Adam? Do we read that either Adam was a King: or his Consort Eve a Queen? Digging and Delving was no proper office for a King: neither Spinning nor Weaving for a Queen. Yet was this Manufactory and Manual Labour the only employment of that absolute Emperor and his Empress. But admit (what is not to be admitted) that this Only Man on Earth enjoyed the Style of King; yet all the World will confess, that He had no great assurance of his Kingdom, when the taste of an Apple drove him out of his Dominion. Besides, was She worthy to retain the Style of a Princess, who was deceived so easily by a Serpent? Or He worthy to exercise his Commands over men, who was so quickly seduced by a Woman?  
To the Second point; if you account him so eminent in respect of his Dignity; you are wholly mistaken (quoth He) there is no such matter. For look upon the manner of their Election; and you will find in it no such inducement of titular honour. For was not Darius that great Persian King; One who would have valued Great Britanny but as a Molehill; chosen King from Neighing of his Horse: and I pray you, did not the Groom of his Stable deserve that Title as well, if not better than He; when his device was the only Means for his Master to win the prize? Was not Gordian likewise chosen Prince from the Plowshare? And Probus taken from Setting of a Turnip in his Garden to be made Guardian over a flourishing State? Would not these prove brave complete Courtiers, when the One was bred a Gardener; the Other a Curter? O dainty perfumed Emperors! With what beseeming State could Hobnail put on a Royal Robe? Or a Turnop-setter, whose only triumphant Cry was to improve the Sale of his Carrots, mount to a Chair of State?  
Thus you see, said He, Majesty clouted up in a Blow share: and disht up in a Salad.  
Now for the last, which is his Quality. Have not the Greatest Kings been the worst men? Look upon that brutish Nebuchadonozer; and you shall find him grazing amongst beasts of the field: and he the very worst Beast of all the Herd. Look upon Pharaoh; and you shall find Him acting bloody Nimrods' part, hunting cruelly and craftily after the Children of God. Go to Herod, and you shall hear Him exalting himself above God. Rich Ahab must have poor Naboths Vinyeard, though he have many of his Own. Naboth must be stoned, to enlarge his State. Thus many Kings have wholly unking'd themselves, by striving to make themselves too absolute Kings. By encroaching upon their Subjects, they have become lower than their Subjects. Base Monopolies, High Impositions, heavy Imposts, burdensome Taxes, have made Peers, Commons, Merchants, Persons of all conditions to become weary of their Yoke: and cast off Loyalty, to redeem their Liberty.  
Those Syracusan Tyrants made fetters for themselves. Their own actions begot them factions. They needed no greater Enemies than themselves to depose them. Phalaris that cruel Tyrant caused his cunning Engineer Perillus to make him a Bull (nearly resembling our late Colchester Bull) purposely to torment Those, whom He hated: but Perillus was the very first Patient that was tormented in it. 
— Nec est lex justior ulla  
Quam necis artifices arte perire suâ.  
No juster Law on Earth was ever known  
Then when Deaths-Artists perish by their own.   
AFTER this manner, would this wand'ring gospeler vapour. But this Conventicle Alley grew soon weary of their Lecturer. So as, this Kentish Kite must be enforced to take upon him some Other vocation: being out of all hope to receive from Bell's Alley or any other zealous Corner in all Colemans' Street, any more pension. To repair then his starved fortunes, He betakes himself to that over-jaded Trade of a Scurrilous Statizing Pamphletter. A Diurnal dunce; Styling himself THE MODERATE: Impartially communicating (if you may believe him) Martial Affairs to the KINGDOM of ENGLAND.  

Principem Criminari! Quid gravius? Parthes'. & Viget. lib. 1. cap. 24.— latet Aspis in ore Maligni. Auson.  But hearken old FATHER LASHER, thou Moderate Goosecap. Hast thou crept out of thy Schismatical Tub, to play the treacherous Bouby in Print? Canst thou find no face to cast thy dirt (base Kennel-raker) but on the Prince? Must He be thy Subject? Yes; for thou justifies thy Plea: and avowchest Him worthy of it.— Charging him with all the blood that hath been shed by this War in the three Kingdoms: Nay, with a fact of that notorious quality, as the very ancient Ethnics would not suffer it to be mentioned in their Edicts: nor any punishment to be devised for it; because they held none so unnaturally barbarous as to commit it. Villainous Rabshakeh, dost thou charge Him with the Death of his Father? Was it not sufficient misery for Him to be deposed of His Sovereignty; deprived of his Liberty; but to have his precious fame stained with this egregious brand of infamy? Impious Imp! How darest thou accuse thy Prince? One, to whom Thou owest even thyself, of so heinous a Crime as Patricide? By whom didst thou ever hear Him Taxed, but by Those whose only aim was to innovate and change our form of Government; nay, utterly to supplant it? These indeed, were those Engineers of the Independent Faction, whose Labour it was, (as now it is, by their obstructing our late Treaty; in laying to His charge (grounded upon his own pretended Confession) all the Blood that has been shed since these Wars begun, through this purple Island. But reflect, (thou Monarchical Moth) who bestowest thy licentious Lamp in blanching the fame of Princes, and aspersing dishonour upon their actions, whose purity may justly vindicate them from the least tincture of infamy! May the sovereignty of an absolute Prince, who pursues nothing with more justifiable fervour, then preserving his Prerogative Royal; (without which, Majesty, be it never so gloriously personated, nor personally accomplished, is but a naked style, or imaginary State) deservingly receive any such brand? That wise Politician could have better informed thy rash judgement: and declined thy loose pen from pursuit of so odious an argument; who delivered this State-position as a Maxim for Princes to observe, and Subjects to obey: The Spirit of a Prince, who can dispense with his Prerogative: or studies to ingratiate his Subject; below himself, merits not the style he bears; nor the Throne whereto he mounts: 
Justin. in regim. Princ. Lamprid. de stat. reg. Plutarch. in Moral. Cic. de Repub. Paul. Jovius de antiq. ordine. Princep. C●ssian. de administ. Gent.  nor that regal state which he presents. Whatsoever lies before him, is not worthy to be admitted by him, unless his low desires be to lose himself. Yet for all this, must the privilege of thy licentious pen, made mercenary to relieve thy starved guts with the scattered revenues of a threepenny Ordinary, break forth into this virulent detraction of laying this boundless deluge of Civil blood (uncivilly effused) upon the just and legal defence of an authentic Prerogative.  
What a brainsick madness has surprised thee (Thou senseless stupid stygmatist) that without ground of reason, or least relish of discretion, Thou shouldest run upon so fatal a Rock, so irreparable Precipice, as to become a Satanical satire; 
Nugantia sunt Opera, vulgi ludibria, v●nti vehicula, vespis velamina, pulicibus pabula, Tineis tegmina, Authoris discrimina, Temporis disp●ndia. Lamprid.  and in that rough and rigid feature, present thee a Prodigy of Nature; nay, to every loyal eye, that holds Sovereignty a state of conscientious policy, a Monarchical Meteor or prodigious object of humane horror? O quam multa opera dum prodeunt, deplorati Authoris famam produnt! This may be justly verified in thee (Thou ulcerous Censor of Prince's actions;) thy Book cannot possibly save thee, were the Ordinary, on whose indulgence thy illiterate sconce so much depends, never so partially cemented, nor by reward personally affianced to thee. For could either common sense or competent reason speak for thee, or authority were it never such a King-killer, as were nursed in Paraeus bosom, plead thy Cause, thou mightest breathe some small hope of comfort, and though not of release, yet some small reprieve from present suspension: But where none of these will adventure to become Advocates for thee, look for no mercy; only expect a Newgate Jury to return their pitiless verdict upon thee; a Rhadamant within thee to condemn thee: and Furies in all seasons, and upon all occasions to torment thee. What will become then of this Barbarous Bard, when he shall be taught to sing his incaged note like a Newgate Bird, and in resemblance to the Ostrich, feed on his Grate, with an eager digestion, for want of better provision?  
If thou hadst ever read so far (my muddy and moldy-witted Moderate) but I fear me thy Reading never traveled further than Riding, and consequently never arrived at Corinth; as to have read those heavy and tragic censures of Eupolis and Aristobolus; the gravel of their Criticism would have so grinded thy teeth, as it would have broken thy fangs: and returned thee in no capacity of biting: though by a natural instinct, in a quality of snarling. But what discreet brain will set any value of thy envenomed pen! Though I must ingenuously confess, it is not only mine, but the fortune of many others encounter with thine exuberant surquedries; for they frequently meet me in my dish; but in what posture? In the public service of ushering in of Marchpanes, Custard-plates, Tart-papers, with other kickshaws: being proper employments for such spurious excrements.  
But whence comes this frontless impudence (my Moderate Brain-strap?) From no other source than a confident ignorance. Thou conceitest that the obscurity of thy person, and impertinency of thy pen, will exempt thy buffoun wit from an apparent baffle: and by a continuation of thine useless Diurnal, procure thee by means of thy State-patron some obscure corner in an Hospital. And this thou hopest to obtain, when thy aged joints become seered, thy native faculties enfeebled: and thy lame body, like thy lean fancy, render themselves contemptuously slighted. But let old Father LASHER undeceive thee (my Moderate Mamothrept;) Thou art lost if thou ground on these deluding ends. Let thy weaksteered resolution thaw itself into a serious retractation. It is no error to alter thy course for a better. Since thy obscene pen has shamed thee; sheath it, and let silence salve thee. None, unless he be his own enemy, would publish his own folly. Let no despicable price proclaim thee a fool in print. And though thy weak-winged Genius cannot soar so high, as to right so Majestic an object as thou hast traduced; yet of a misnamed Moderate become an immoderate Penitentiary; A recluse thy mansion; Tears thy Consort; passionate sighs thy sole-breathing-accents. And if thy weak estate endanger thee to starve; Return to thy late manual vocation (putting off thy former fraud and collusion) and in thy progress serve him, on whose providence so long as thou relieft, Thou canst not starve. Recover thy wits, so far estranged from thee: and dis-own that improper Title of MODERATE, which has so grossly abused thee.   

THE SENATE'S ANSWER TO THE EARL of LOWDON: THE SCOTCH CHANCELLOR Anno. Dom. 1648.  
Sir,  
YOur polished lines enameled with much art, and pretending (if we may be confident of Scotch dialect) to some truth; we have here received, wherein your labour is in the person of your whole Council of State, to assure us of that unity & affectionate harmony, as in one incorporate State, so lately and lovingly established betwixt our neighbouring Nations; and how the influence and continuance of it appears in your Representative, of so pure and refined a quality, as it were piacular to hold it capable of any jealousy. But wash off this Ceruse, Mr. Chancellor, that we may discover your Complexion the better. Can your plausible Apology, though never so subtly nor curiously woven, make us believe that you love us, or in our extremes immutably cleave to us; when apparent arguments of hostility display your levity, and proclaim to the wide world, that the Wolf will sooner lose his hair then his conditions: and that the ancient British Proverb will be ever verified by you; Constant foes, but inconstant friends: So constant in inconstancy, as your advantage has ever won ground upon your Allies extremity?  
But let us draw the Curtain, that we may have a perfecter view of the Picture. You take your level from that pretentended union so happily established betwixt the two Nations. But how have you for your parts tempered or preserved that Cement, which should have strengthened this Juncture? Did your late Invasion by that ever practising but never successive Hamilton, manifest your affection to peace, or any symptom of intended Union? Can you under colour of plunder and hostility; pretend a continuance of our dissolved unity?  
Yes; you can close the wound smoothly; and palliate your pernicious projects with numerous protests; that his precipitious attempts were both moulded & acted without your privity. Take off your vizard; & let us see if your impudence can discover itself without a blush. It is true, what we read of Tiberius; that he could s●rowd his intentions from the clearest judgements without suspicion, and walk in the Clouds without discovery. But this had been a strange imposture for a strong & potent Army, levied from all the quarters of your Kingdom, unless they had been enveloped in Cimmerian shades, to have marched so invisibly; nay, and unanimously too, without your joint assent, admittance and authority. Yet we must not believe this, your hearts were ever harmoniously united to us. Both in judgement and affection you were wholly Aliens to any such Invasion. And if we may have so much faith as to believe you; there is nothing that may hold consistence with our safety, which you do not equally balance as your own security. What amicable brothers you be! who could think how any Snake could lie shrouded under such green grass? And yet there lies hid a Pad in the straw. Tell us, grave Chancellor, did there ever break forth any such sparks of your ferverous zeal to us: or any such flaming desire of being individually united to us, till your foraging Army, either through want of spirit, or discipline, or both, were by us wholly discomfited? During your march, all were hushed: much expected from the success of your invasion: no acknowledgement then intended: nor tender of submission. Did you then think (unbosom yourselves freely, and for once cashier hypocrisy) to call for mercy; but rather to expose our States for fuel to your fury? Did not the confidence of an approaching conquest transport you; nay, wholly estrange your affection: and make you forgetful of our transacted union? Had your large-spreading Army marched on with success, and proved as victorious as it was numerous; should we have received from your imperious Commands this peaceful message? would your white banner have been then displayed? No, Sir; such fair dealing could not be expected from your hands. It is not to be doubted, but your Nation knows better to make use of a victory, then how to get it. You who profess yourselves now (if we were so foolishly credulous as to believe you) our endeared friends; would have appeared then our implacable foes. A pusillanimous Enemy admits no quarter. You and the inhuman Irish hold concurrency in this: you cannot be secure from fear, till you can play at football with the Head of your foe. But Divine providence timely deluded your expected success. For what gained you by your confused march, but reproach and hate? Those Northern Parts, through which you ranged and ravaged, had good cause to conjecture, that you came rather to plunder then conquer. Mun-Ro (a man as ignorant in the discipline of Arms as civil carriage, being in the one artless, the other savage) became a true stake to our new-established State; when his brutish and intolerable usage made those who should have been his Assistants, his Assassins': our pretended foes, our converted friends. This courtesy did that uncivil Boar do us, though against his will. Such infinite disadvantage befalls an undisciplined Commander by ruining his own: and inhancing his rifling fortunes with injurious booties. But we must be friends, (so you say;) These invasions must not dissolve nor disjoint our affections. A national union has joined us together: which no fomenters of division should dissever. Hate is not to be engendered upon every light heat.  
Fall from that account, good Chancellor; hostile invasions are not so to be minced. Though remissness of Spirit in the pursuit of your design, caused you to faint in your fight; the impoverished North groaned under the insupportable burden of your insolence: finding no Salve to cure their Sore but a coactive patience. Now, your Casuists will tell you, that the offence cannot be remitted, till Satisfaction be rendered. Open your Exchequer; that must prepare the Plaster. They who invade another's interest, harping after nothing more eagerly, then how to pray upon others, deservedly become a prey unto others.  
Though you hold your Stool of Repentance for some transgressions a sufficient Penance; yet where actual or personal injuries are so licentiously acted, Offences so highly qualified, are to be more strictly weighed; and sharply schooled. All your extorted store will scarcely recompense our injured State.  
But you will object, 
☜  and clothe your countenance in a Cloud, as if the days of your plunder (your only year of Jubilee were expired) that you are for the present become our Tributaries, nay constant Almoners to our Soldiery: in your quartering and high Assesses to our Garrisons now residing with you. 'tis true; but whence ariseth this hospitable entertain? Is it not an Assess, rather than a Benevolence? Our moral Philosophers, who knew best how to define true Liberality; will inform your knowledge sufficiently in this point. These will tell you, that a coacted Bounty is a palliated Parsimony. What a stronger hand than your own will not suffer you to enjoy, that you seem willing to forgo; but our Nation, to whose favour you thus insinuate, expects a more satisfactory Oblation. In your late assistance, which merits not the style but shadow of an Association, your valour was oft engaged and brought to stake, but never came off with honour. Some indeed of your Country-carcases lay scattered under the walls at Hereford. Whose Deaths gave greater testimonies of their valour then their Lives: being only used as dead Marks to shoot at, without resistance. You were still rather upon the taking then fight hand. The estates and livelyhoods of our distressed Country exhausted by the fury of civil wars and domestic hostility, became your injurious merchandise and extorted booty. Which you on your foundered Sumpters daily exported to your sordid and disfurnished Lithstows, without ever doing any action of importance in our service. Though we have heard one of your Country Commanders, after your native facetious way, answer a qualified Soldier of ours, twitting him in saying: All their valour consisted in number. O, replied he, if we be so terrible in the appearance of our number, what shall we be, when we discover our valour? But the Cure had been worse than the Disease, if our late and long dispute had continued, till your personal prowess had determined it. Your old General, now a Blind Guide, and deserted of his own; after his Sweden fame, amply gratified by his pension in Pomerania, eclipsed much of his glory, in his too much speed at Haysham Moor; where he was better known to his fear then unexpected fortune: making his issue with such winged speed through his Army, as it would not suffer him to stay the time of being a witness to the issue or close of the victory. Yet in this Conquest achieved by our hands, it was wonderful to observe, how your frontless pusillanimity could put upon it the countenance of Sovereignty! For how often have we been advertised of your unsufferable boldness in dating your usurping Letters, from our Towns of Northallerton, Thirske, and Darlington in Scotland, with other places of confluence in our Northern parts: as if you had wholly subdued these to enlarge the boundiers and revenues of your penurious State, without relation to our benefit, but highly to the derogation of our honour.  
And in these your braving and insupportable insolences, we for bear to recount those inhuman cruelties perpetrated by you; in the view whereof even the blood of Savages would curdle: and resolve hearts wholly composed of marble into tears; being writ in characters, of so deep a die, as no revolution of time can raze them. Sad spectacles! To see aged persons, who had one foot in the Grave, and whose mellow and mature years might have begot in your inhuman assasinats a venerable awe and reverence, imbathed and imbrued in their own blood; for labouring with their decayed and decrep it strength to preserve the conjugal honour of their enforced Daughters. Rapes, rapine and murder frequently committed, and with impunity transmitted!  
But our Brotherhood, pretended alliance and association might seem to apply Salves to these Sores; we never called you to account for them: the more is our account.  
But to omit these; for long since were they canceled out of your memory; like a Stage-tragedy, no sooner presented, and the Curtain drawn, then with an act of Oblivion closed; your desire holds still to be at one with us; though there be no union among yourselves. Which makes us partly believe that you are lineally descended from some of those ancient Britain's, (as your Nation pretends) who whensoever they were engaged or endangered by their invasive Enemy, fled for refuge to the Romans; not so much for any express of loyalty, as for their own security. In a word, if you mean to shake hands with us; you must first shake off your old hair. Whitened walls and painted Sepulchers are more suitable Emblems for your Presbyterian. Principles, then for the late Instauration of our democratical Government. Your inconsistency to Tenets of peace; and inconcurrency to truth, have made us your Aliens: though we dare trust you, so long as you be Visible Objects; in our sight, but no further.  
We shall be content to account you Subjects: but by a disproportionate union, to draw in one yoke with you, were to advance you to an immerited liberty: and by that means bring us to incur an imperious slavery: Nay, by our weakness to enable an Enemy; who now wants sinews to act his fury. This might detract more from our discretion, than the fame which the continued success of our actions has won us, would in an Iliad of age's repair.  
SIR, you may spare your pen, where there is no probability to prevail. Only let us tell you: That your conquered Nation may hold it for a Trophy of Honour; when an English Victor enjoins you to suffer.   

A FUNERAL ORATION; as it was delivered at DARBY-HOUSE: The 6. of Feb. 1648.  
BEhold my Beloved! We are come hither to an House of Mourning! And we are to rejoice in it; for it is better to come to the House of Mourning then Rejoicing. Surely the mournful condition of this late-Metamorphosed House must needs confirm it. O vanity of vanities! DARBY-HOUSE dissolved! That Corbona! that Tagus! that Pactolus! nay, that Indian Inn of Albion blown up in a moment! Woe is me for thee, thou headless Capitol!  
But in the recollection of our sorrows, it will become me, whom Authority hath enjoined to this sad Task, to reduce these Iliads of griefs into Order, which mount to that height, as they will neither admit of measure nor number: unless with those, who have suffered so much by them, as they can forbear to suffer with them: or sacrifice one poor tear of pious compassion for them.  
Give me leave then to present this late Grand Model or Masterpiece of State in the form of a Naked Body, but no Breathing Feature: Only a vapour; an indigested Bulk without Symmetriall Contexture, or Organical Proportion: a vessel of dust; a Pile of dissolution. Draw near then, ye amazed Spectators, and in this grave, but now Grave-approching Patriot, whom we here personally present: Behold a Spectacle of Mortality; a Precedent of Mutability! See how the Gold has lost his Colour; how this deceased Party, that lies here before you, has lost both fame and honour! How clear a yesterday looked upon it: and with what a lowering brow does this day welcome it? It cannot be less than well known to you, Judicious Auditors; how singularly this Mournful Memorial was endowed: with what abilities completed; being the only select one culled from Apollo's Senate, to beget a feverish and awful reverence in his retainers.  
Shall we dissect him, and eye his Materials? Wipe your eyes first, that such a sense-seazing Sceleton turn you not all to Niobees.  
Philosophy tells you, that Man consists of three parts: and bestows his faculties wholly upon them. The Irascible, Concupiscible and Intelligible. Now survey the late abilities of this Breathlesle Object in every of these: and the apprehension of them will leave you in astonishment.  
For the Irascible; he scorned to recall to mind that lesson which that absolute Philosopher left with his Emperor: To repeat the four and twenty Greek Letters in his anger, before he proceeded to any censure. Or to follow the example of Archytas; Who would not correct his hind, because he was angry with him. No; this brave Spirit was more sensible of a wrong: and more speedy in his revenge. He would strike while the Iron was hot: He was but a word and a blow.  
He held it a dishonour to him, to expostulate the cause with a supposed Malignant: Report was sufficient to make him one, without further evidence to evince him.  
Believe it, my Beloved, so strong was this grave Segniour in passion; so free in his exhibition: as he with the rest of his worthy Rhadamanth's, have sent more Presents from hence to Peter house, in one day: then they did in Alms or Peter-pences all their time. It has been observed, that the only Air which this reverend Censor used to breath, was— Secure him, Secure him. Which was ever done to purpose: for those that went in, found the Lion's Cave to be there:— vestigia nulla retrorsum.  
I have many times heard Him maintain it (to the gallantry of his Spirit be it spoken) that it was one of his Ambitions to learn perfectly the Art of Memory; to the end he might receive a sense of his Injuries the better. 
The sole ends of a politic Statist.  And that it was never his desire to be employed in behalf of the Public, but for private ends and secret revenge. Which could never be more nimbly effected, nor colourably pursued, then while our Waters were troubled: and our State distracted. He always held it convenient in his object of revenge, to begin with the Cedar first. Eagles catch no Flies. This he confessed a few days before he departed this life, to be be his Masterpiece in the dispatch of STRAFFORD: 
Timely prevention is the life of policy: and in this Precedent the ruin of a Monarchy.  whom, if by the singular industry and dexterity of his Nimble Didappers, whom he employed as Active Instruments for that design; he had not timely lopped; the aims of his Senate had not been only prevented; and their main project diverted: But he with all such as adheared to him, had been catcht in strafford's 'Gin: and fooled themselves, before ever they had brought him to the Bay.  
One Eucopius drawing near his Bedside a very small time before his death; seriously demanded of him, what his reason might be, under such fair plausive pretences so to imbroile a peaceful State: and instead of plenty, peace and prosperity, by his seditious complices, to bring in scarcity, ruin and misery into this Kingdom? His answer was; As all Creatures feed not on clean meats: Nor all Fish's delight in Clear waters: So neither did it agree with all humours to hold peaceable times their only Jubilees. Peace, I confess (said he) may be highly conducing to the benefit of such Merchants; whose improvement draws its life and spirit from Traffic: As all other Artists by Manufactory or other Mysteries: but Some we have who Margites— like can neither dig, delve, nor raise them a subsistence by any legal or peaceful endeavour: and must these Lobsters perish? No; Some are naturally bred for Arts; Some for Arms. Arts had their proper vocations before; Let Arms supply their place now. Those that know neither how to beg nor work; by an especial Committee of Examinats, we have given them free scope to take that course as may enforce such as cannot work, to beg relief from their hands, who make it their vocation to practise plunder: and in the pursuit of it, 
An excellent provision for lame Soldiers: and sturdy Beggars.  account it their absolute honour.  
During the time of his visitation; which was not very long: for he was taken with such a violent pestilential Fever, as through want of sleep with other occasional distempers arising from the intemperate heat of his brain, He became divers times wonderfully distracted, and in the end mortally surprised; yet in his intervals, he was one evening by a serious and grave royalist, who in regard of his near relation to him, oftentimes visited him, asked these three questions.  
The first, how he with the rest of his prudent and reverend Synod, could digest such an apparent affront, as to endure some of their principal Members to be so injuriously rend and pulled from them; as if the whole Power or Prerogative of their House were to render up their ancient pretended Privileges to the power of the Sword?  
O, said he; heave but my head a little higher upon my Pillow, and I shall answer you. These whom you call principal Members; were permitted to be removed from us, not to prejudice us, but improve us. They were known to be strong presbyterial Opinionists; such, as held an Article of Faith to stand to their first Principles: which, as we rightly apprehended, would prove inconsistent to our Privileges. We might discover a stronger Party interposing. Though we had many votes in the House: yet the Army had ever the casting Voice.  
For my part, my Conscience was not so straight laced, nor most of my zealous Brethren neither (though the Army diffide us, nay defied us, and in our Connivance slight us) but we could give way to Power: and dispense with our own Tenets to procure ourselves peace: so cautious were we of preserving the propriety of our estate, and priority of our place.  
But whence was it, replied this Visitant; that after you had given them this repulse, you should vote them so graceful a return?  
O, said this deceased Senator; 
A rare Emperical Receipt; whose ingrediences consist more of policy than piety.  this was not intended to cherish but to chastise them. In our receiving them, we reserved them for Sacrifices to the Army; to practise on them what pleased them best, whether it were cruelty or mercy.  
Our only policy was to approve acts of Hostility: being done by the stronger Party.  
You played your Cards wisely (said the Visitant:) but I wonder how your Wisdoms will be able to answer those main and many Objections pressed against you, by that great discomfited and now captivated Duke, touching your late invitation of him and his numerous fugitive forces in this Kingdom!  

That Tiberian Duke, inveloped his Counsels in a cloud, till his cloudy designs clothed with Ambition, haled him to the Block.  Nothing more easily, replied this our departed Brother; may not we with as much confidence avouch that some of our grave well-monied Citizens were their only inviters; and that for ourselves, we were never so much as made acquainted with their designs till the Duke with his Army was defeated; may not we, I say, with as much boldness and as little truth, maintain this; as Monsieur Loudon their reverend Chancellor, in the representative Body of his credible Nation, protested, purposely to ingratiate them with our awful Senate: and by this pretensive defence of their suspected innocence, to reunite them to their amity and correspondence?  
Yet, methinks, said this Visitant, you might have laboured so far as to have salved the wounded honour and reputation of your City; whose frequent considerable recruits ever redounded highly to the advantage of the Public: by your joint votes and voices to have opposed the Army's quartering with them: at least from suffering them to be their own Paymasters with the City's treasury: or dishonouring D. Humphrey so much, 
Chaste Diana's ancient Temple, Augea's Stable, Lavernas Staple.  as to make him now in his old days the Keeper of an Ordinary: or Commissary to a three penny Hostry; a Turn-spit to the Souldry: or to reduce Paul's Sanctuary to a pilfering Scullery.  
So might we, replied this bemoaned Party, have brought an old house over our ears. The tongue is but a weak Engine against force. Whom had we to side with us for our security, if our indiscreet votes should have opposed the Army? you must know, Sir, it fares with us as with a split Ship, or a ruinous Pile: when the House falls to decay, the Rats run away.  
Besides, our just revenge upon those white-livered Citizens, (who, so they may sit quietly to hatch their own eggs, care not much though other nests be rifled) Or as in a thunder; where every one prays the thunderbolt may not fall upon his own house, and very little regards the danger of his neighbour. So a sprig of Laurel may secure him; he rests secure of others ruin.  
For their daring Petitions so often presented to us; but with such easy thanks slighted by us: that, albeit we commended their care and zeal for the public peace, yet we carried still a Stone in our Bosom, which we intended to throw whensoever opportunity should give way. That Spirit suits not well with the constitution of this time; that entertains remorse, where he may encounter his foe with a suitable revenge.  
Thus far have we presented to you in this Spectacle of Mortality, how this breathless relic of State, stood affected touching the Irascible Part: will you hear his own confession for the Concupiscible?  
He acknowledged freely in the presence of sundry eminent persons; but never till our Physicians had given him over: that since the very first time that he was made a M. of the House; he found his mind much distempered with an Hydroptick humour. The more he got; the more he sought. His thirst was never to be quenched, no, though his steaming Lungs were the Sponges of the State; & shared sufficiently with the Committee of every County: yet were all these Incomes but empty Purveiers to my hungry desires. For though my Nest were freely feathered at home: my Hutch richly stored abroad: I was ever angling after the fat fortunes of some pretended Malignant: hugging that prudential Ordinance, by virtue whereof a crammed Estate empowered a Committee to make a Delinquent. Hence it was, that being fortified by Council at home, and Forces abroad: we found it an easy matter to make Loyalty a Crime: and vote all such as adhered to their P. by a Legislative Power, Egregious Traitors.  
Now to the third; if you who be here present, and see me drawing near the shore, desire to know how I since my first calling up to be a Senator, employed my Intelligible Part: WALSINGAM in his time was never more solicitous after Intelligence. I understood well how France begun to follow our footsteps: Sovereignty became unto them an insupportable yoke of slavery. The Turkish Commonty: Especially with the mutinous Janisary, with whom ever since these State-distractions, we have kept a firm and constant correspondency. (for we had the knack of fingering the strings of Infidels for the better tuning of our own Instruments) approved and applauded our super-regulating and regulizing Authority.  
This infinitely joyed me: not doubting, but within short time (at least in their next Turkish Jubilee) to be enrowled Saintly Musilmen, in their Alcoran.  

More Mourners over him, then for him.  Thus have you heard, my dear Auditors, the life and death of this grand Areopagite. The grounds of his rising; the occasion of his falling. Yet though this funeral Room be sabled: never was Hearse accompanied with more State, nor attended with fewer tears.  
Dry eyes every where usher in the Obsequies of this Senate. Such is the fate of those who violate their faith.  
The Senate-doors are shut: those Doers in the Senate utterly shamed: here a Duke degraded: a Praetorian Train disgraced: a faithless Synod dissolved: an endless Triennial adjourned: and a distracted State recovered; if a New State by a late-introduced Anarchy do not discompose it.   

ANIMADVERSIONS UPON THE FOURTH SECTION.  
SInce the penning and publishing of that fourth Section, entitled PEMBROKE'S PLEA; the Person, to whom it had its address and relation, changed his life: and for a worse, say some uncharitable Censors; who in the draught of his Will, like Commentors full fraughted with Lucian's invention, stick not to present him acting the part of a Mad Lord at his death; as he had formerly done of a Weak one, all his life.  
Truth is, to defend the weakness of most of our Lords as well as his; were a work of such difficulty: 
Tale opus si quis ederet, sine nausea Lector non digereret. Laert.  and to most of our loyal palates so dis-relishing; as it would appear a Paradox rather than an Apology.  
But if this Lord's capacity were in the lowest Siege, (as is already granted;) how deservingly are those Grandees to be condemned, who being held deep Machiavels, have fooled themselves out of their wits: and recorded their unthriving Projects in living Annals of Idiotism to all generations?  
Much could I say, and more than some would have me say: but I will be spare, for I know our Consul-kites have Eavesdroppers in every corner: So jealous be these Actaeon's of their own interests: Only, let me say, what the whole world will make good: That never such a Triennial of State-gullery has been presented, since those Gooslings kept Centinall in the Capitol.— O what hacking and hewing has our Whimzed State made for Senators; when they must be teezed out of Saw-pits?— O Trephonius Cave, what a fit recluse hadst thou been; for these Spirits in the Vault, to act their Pagan Pageants in! yet who sees not, but any one might draw as much proving policy out of Anacharses' Mortar, as SAYS Synodical Arbour: though in the Infantry of our State-Lunacy, That was held the only Jewish Sanhedrim for debate: or rather that Chemical Crucible; which out of its Callow Principles could resolve an Episcopal Mitre into a Presbyterial cipher: A Monarchical Sceptre into a democratical Centre. But these, like the Amalga, had more Moon than Sun in them. For what have our Bedlamites got by their same plots?  
Have they not (with their breach of faith to boot) disseised themselves and their Heirs for ever: and like desperate Adventurers, embarked the remainder of their forlorn fortunes, in the Ship of fools, with their Tolosan Treasure sent over before them; which in all men's judgements, shall never meet them? And were not these Wise Shallops, to strip themselves both of wit and wealth at an instant?— well, I shall ever commend that true Neapolitan, HARRY MARTIN: who, though he sometimes played the frontless noddy; yet he loved to have some sport for his money.  
Condemn him not for degenerating from that feathered Martin, from whom he took his name. That Bird ever took content in a cleannest: whereas pragmatical Harry never stood much either upon neat lodging, or clean linen: so his dainty mercenary Dabrides were free in her quartering.  
Admit his late Suburban practice has made him as brittle as a Radish; he stood as long, and spoke as much in defence of the Cause; as his decayed Calves would give him leave: or the imposthumed palate of his mouth, permit him to prate.  
Thus you hear how this Sprightly Member was paid home for his labour. 
A knot of State-Mawworms sprung from the corruption of a distempered Body.  But for an Herd of seditious Stoical Asses to ruin themselves; by suffering their foes to jade them: and undermine their States by their own Stratagems: Heraclitus would scarce find lungs enough to laugh at such dottrells. For can we find any man so wise through our whole Island, that may unwarpe their designs: or in the discovery of them (if they be so quicksighted or ripe-sented as to retreve the game) shall not observe their misguided flight dis-advantageous to themselves: and like ill ground-givers, in directing their Gamesters for setting their Byasses ever the wrong way?  
Now, these Sage-Soakers, who were ever accounted notable State-pyoners, have generally scaped the lash; while those of the younger fry, and weaker wing, being scarcely pen-feathred in actions of treason; must be stripped, whipped, disgraced and exposed for Buffouns to the eye of the world.  
It has been the unhappiness of many eminent persons, 
☜  (neither hath it balked this traduced Lord) to have suffered in their fames, by the unthankful censures of such, who had received their subsistence and supportance from them; even their own Domestics: as might be instanced in his Countess' Coachman. Who carrying his Lady in her Coach to Church upon a tempestuous day, during her reside at Apleby in the North: her groom, more tender, it seems, of his Horse's harm then his Lord's honour; caused a sheet to be thrown over them, to keep them from cold: but the tempest increasing, grew so fierce and furious, as it took the Cloth quite from the Horses: & hoising it up into the air, suddenly vanished so strangely, as it could not be found. This jeering Coachman, having diligently inquired after it, but could not find it; made himself merry in his pots, in this manner: I know not, to die for't, how the devil has plundered it: nor what way it is gone: unless my Lord (being then lately dead) wanted a winding sheet at his death: and it is flown Southward, to present his Hon. with an office of charity. Was not this egregious and unsufferable impudence from a mercenary Horse-fly?  
Alas, poor Pembroke! Thou couldst not crop one May-bud, but thou must be taxed for freedom of sense: and yet they tax thee for want of sense. Thou hadst not the art to disguise treason: nor to pretend welfare to the State: nor liberty of Subject: nor palliate thy dis-allegiance with plausible pretences of a new face and form of government. No; if thy zeal to thy Prince (to whom I must confess thou oughtest thyself) were foreslowed; thy revenues were the remoras, and no other treacherous aims, as thou many times freely acknowledged. O then, let me conclude for thee: O quam multi faeliciores fuissent, si minus possedissent!  
The world has deluded many: which imposture in most men's judgements, held no Analogy with thy bounty. But to press this argument a little further, thy Favourites say; Thou couldst not maintain the One without the Other.  
Admit him a person of Pleasure, a Court-Sycamour; more for shade then use; Take your Survey further, and you may find some of our Rabshakah Rabbis good for neither: Assasins more ready to destroy, then to build: to pull up, then to plant.  

As treason ever had Incendiaries to foment it: So assisting sinews to support it.  It were to be wished, (if so much charity might be hoped for) that his failings in allegiance might be imputed to his weakness. No Trees can be without their Shadows: and that our State-projectors made use of his umbrage; there is none, being acquainted with their proceedings and pursuit of assistance, but will admit it. This is the only Plea that can be made for him: if the world have so much charity in store to afford him.   

CASTLE'S CATASTROPHE: OR GARRISONS GAOLE-DELIVERY. Down with BABEL.  
Relliquiis belli civilis fungimur.—  
Pennigeris facimur Nidi▪—  
Down with those aged Piles; whose ashes may  
Repair our ruins by their just decay:  
And in their faithless breasts retain those Scars  
Inflicted on them by our civil wars.  
Down with those mounting Spires of Babylon;  
" England has lost the Style of Albion.  
Down with those Forts, those Garrisons of State,  
That to our civil Furies gave receipt;  
Silenus arched Grates, Triphonius Caves,  
Procrustes Citadels, where forlorn Slaves  
Hatched their seditious brood.— Let not a Stone  
Witness to aftertimes what has been done.  
Here's work for Levellers! Diggers retire,  
Your delving earns you nothing; here is hire,  
With ruin to those Denns that lodged your foes:  
You see, my boys, what way the world goes.  
And I could wish, my Lads, with all my heart,  
Cinque Ports were shut up too, that none migth start  
From our Antycira, this hateful Isle  
Deep-dyed in blood, and varnished with guile;  
Till some for th' service they have done our King,  
Be sent to Heaven for Presents in a string.  
— Thus Children jeer their Parents, and contemn  
Those sumptuous Works which were contrived by them.  
A gracious prudent Age, when Sons appear  
More politic than their Forefathers were.  
They rear, we raze; They build, and we pull down;  
They crown a King, and we unking a Crown.  
— But to those ruin'd Castles let's return,  
And close their Ashes in Oblivion's urn.  
When I by fatal Pomfract came, and found  
Those stately Structures levelled with the ground,  

Richard 2. cruelly murdered by Sir Piers of Exton and his Complices.  With that ensabled Room, (where RICHARD's said  
By thirsty Bloodhounds to be massacred,)  
Resolved to mouldered ashes, I drew near,  
Sending a Sigh forerunner to a tear;  
And I applied it thus: If furies wing  
Fledged such revenge for murder of a King,  
What heavy vengeance may we think will fall  
Upon those Consuls of the Capitol;  
Whose only Council has for eight years been  
Their Princes and his Offsprings ruining;  
Both Root and Branch: and with a long debate  
To strip a King, and starve a frantic State:  
Expunge the name of STUART and his race,  
To do their Office in a meaner place!  
Rufus affirmed, Westminster was so small,  
It seemed a Parlour rather than an Hall  
To entertain a Prince:— Sure, lived he now  
He'd hold his Hall too short and narrow too  
For such a Shambles as Rebellions hand  
Has acted on the Subjects of our Land.  
So as should we fresh Martyrologies write,  
And make our Scene Westminster, 'twould affright  
Uninteressed hearts, and with a tear  
Inscribe this Mort— Aceldama stands here.  
— And yet these Rooks some protects have intended,  
Which at first sight deserve to be commended.  
What gorgeous Stables have they reared of late  
To beautify the ruins of a State!  
Great Moguls Stables came far short of these  
For Ordure and Equestrian rarities.  
The Church (Camp-like) for disci line may vaunt  
ne'er any one more truly militant.  
Duke Humphrey too with his late-hungered Guests,  
May now invite whole Legions to their feasts:  
So as those starved Greeks that used to stand  
For a receipt of Alms at our hand,  
Want now a Marble Pillar for a stay:  
Bob-tail and Crop-ear have more room than they.  
" No Annals nor Records since Jessees time  
" Can show Cribbs, Racks nor Mangers more divine.  
So as, though Forts and Garrisons appears  
Impaled with ashes, and imbathed in tears,  
Our Stables are so stable, as no Nation  
Assumed such strength on such a strange foundation.  
I would advise you then to be content,  
Ye braving Towers late from your Groundwork rend;  
Since sacred Phanes and Temples in your view  
Are razed, defaced and split as well as you.  
This may be here presented as we pass  
Ith'fractures of our Statues and our glass.  
No; ancient Houses of their Arms are rest,  
An Omen that our Gentry should be left  
To a Plebeian Power: which were unmeet  
That Bodies should be guided by the Feet:  
Which closeth with our Capitols consent;  
But just is Heaven such Furies to prevent:  
And to convert our purple Tragedy  
To Comic Scenes.— Thrice blest Catastrophe!  
— But lets look back, and take a serious view  
Of hazards past and those that may ensue.  
— Is not this strange, such action should be done  
By any Kilderkin of Huntingdon?  
Is Barm so full of Spirit? Yes, I've heard  
That here long would pull Great Turk by th' Beard;  
Recover Palestina with his men,  
Translate th' Metropolis to Jerusalem;  
Possess him of his Throne: and with his sight  
Put all his Janissaries to that affright,  
As they should have more reason to complain  
Of General Cromwell then of Tamburlaine.  
Has vowed besides, his Officers shall be  
Such sharers in a Turkish Empery,  
As like brave Epicurians they shall feast  
And be invested petty Kings at least.  
Their Sanhedrin and Council of Estate  
Should guided be as England's was of late;  
And by same Principles which they held here,  
If our grand Sophies knew but what they were.  
Admire this, State-Usurpers! Do but eye  
This Corky Bottle how it mounts on high  
And foams with fury!— Eye this English Jew  
What Plots he brews with his rebellious crew!  
How Molehills or'epeer Mountains! Envious Brakes  
Encroach on Cedars, and their Stations takes!  
To see a Ship steered by a prosperous gale  
And suddenly retarded by a Whale  
Or fish of some vast bulk, were such a thing  
As this repulse deserved no marveling:  
But for a Remora to stay her course,  
Her gallant Port can brook no Pirate worse.  
Reflect on this:— Where is he would have thought  
That to a State such ruin should be brought.  
By a mere barmy Beetle! Or that he  
Should raze the title of a Monarchy,  
Supplant Religion, pull our Temples down,  
And make a Subject, Rebel to a Crown!  
Prodigious valour! Brutus falls asleep  
When he should play the Guardian and keep  
His Country from such Tyrants.— So sleep still  
Till these Horseleeches sat their boundless fill  
With civil gore: and like Cyrcaean Elves  
Close up their Chaps with feeding on themselves.  
England is full of blood, though much be spilt,  
And by Phlebotomy must purge her guilt.  
The way for to secure a State from stain  
Is by an artful hand to breathe a vein:  
Not that Basilica vena lately touched,  
Strained from a Stem perfidiously boucht:  
Peruse our ancient Stories o'er and o'er  
" The like State-cure was never known before.  
States are like Trees; the Bowl must needs decay  
When th' Top-branch's lopped too near, or cut away.   

Three STATE-TARRIERS coupled up with three TART-SATYRS.  
Vix Oriens tales produxit in orbe triones.  
Novimus hisce pares?—  A PRESBYTERIAN 
IS a pretender to a madding zeal  
That makes a Bedlam of our Common-weal.  
A Plague to Pictures, Ceremonies, rites,  
Fonts, Organs, Surplice, consecrated Lights.  
State-Symonist, who reckons it no sin  
Through th' breaches of a Window to get in  
As well as by the Door:— one, who can gather  
No fruit nor profit from an ancient father:  
Holding 't a special Act of Reformation  
I'th' Church, to preach without due preparation.  
Collects, Hymns, Anthems must be laid aside,  
No wedding Ring admitted to a Bride.  
No Christian Burial, nor no Funeral Rite,  
But throw him in a hole, and so good night.  
A grand Assembly-man, to root out Schism,  
And in eight years squeeze out a catechism  
Not worth perusal: though some Donns there be  
Who hold it orthodox Divinity;  
The form of pure-elixired discipline,  
Such as our Isle ne'er purchased fore this time.  
A precious Purchase! when our hapless Nation  
Must be informed by blind illumination.  
When Enemies to th' Cross command us stay,  
" Take up no cross, but turn an other way.  
When Temples must be Denns to harbour Thiefs,  
And rapine takes what moral Justice leaves.  
When Houses dedicate to God, are made  
Fo. Grooms o'th' Stable, or a worse trade.  
When Pastors holded sufficient to keep  
The Fold for pro●t, and devour their sheep.  
When that blessed seamelesse Coat the badge of peace  
Must be cut out in shred of heresies;  
So as if He who owed that Coat should come  
He would disclaim it wholly for his own.  
What has this Reformation, pray thee say,  
Improved our Church or Nation any way?  
How has it made our channels flow with blood?  
How has it w●th our trade or traffic stood?  
In the Lord's Field what darnel has it sown?  
What spawn of Sects and Schisms in every Town?  
What acts of horrid treason has it wrought?  
To what a Sea of blood is Albion brought?  
What bonds of peace remain inviolate?  
What stain untouched that might impeach a State?  
Are we not made a Spectacle to those,  
Who were so mean, we scorned to call them foes?  
— Deluded State, what caused thee to bring in  
This Presbyterian, this man of Sin  
Bred to our ruin! to division sold!  
And unresolved what Principles to hold!  
O rich religious Mintage! could no Sun  
Clear our dark Phanes but that of Calydon?  
Had our two Nursing Mother's lost their eyes,  
And to be cured by such Cantarides?  
Should these who were scarce Academian,  
Inspired (ragged colts) by Knox or Buchanan  
O'ertop our Predeaux, one profounder far  
Then a whole College of Scotch Doctors are?  
Shall these incivile Formalists propose  
Canons or Constitutions unto those,  
Who both for life and learning far exceed  
The greatest Rabbis ever crossed Tweed?  
I muse their Preachers, being hither sent  
Bad them not keep the Commandment:  
But such a Law their flock would ne'er live under  
That took them from their trade, the use of plunder.  
Poor stupid Sots! where lie our English brains,  
Must we exchange our liberty for chains?  
Must we needs fly from fire into the flame,  
And close our Action with a Scene of shame?  
That lawless time of rude Domitian  
Had suited with our Presbyterian:  
When a Proscription was to learning given,  
And from the boundiers of his Empire driven;  
No man advanced to offices of state  
But only such as were illiterate.  
The parallel is yours: who with a style  
Of gulided zeal have made a Stale o'th' I'll  
Cimmerian Revelers; whose only dance  
Meets in a Maze, or Net of ignorance;  
So you may take your tith of mint and Cummin,  
You little care for Vrim or for Thummim;  
Mere antiquated words: Pulpits are made  
For a Mechanic and a Manual trade:  
When if mad zeal his Cushion roundly beat,  
He's one, no doubt, sat at Gamaliels feet:  
When he no Education had at all  
But from the Topics of a Cobbler's stall.  
Bring me three Presbyterians to this place,  
Where we may state the Question face to face  
(Without exchange of Tongues) for 'tis well known  
They're constant Linguists only to their own;  
And if these three in Principles agree,  
Or hold that ancient mark of unity;  
Or if their Tenets prove not out of joint  
In some Essential faith— concerning point;  
I'll say, disloyal Argyle was as just  
As any Subject that his Prince could trust;  
His ways smooth and sincere; his wandering eye  
Clear without squinting at an Anarchy:  
And that no wool was ever yet more true  
Than what was woven to make a Cap of Blue.  
Now, who should read these Paradoxes o'er  
Would hold them rarest He ever heard before.  
For Argyle to be loyal, who from's youth  
Shaked hands with faith's adulterated truth:  
Nay, to act horrid treason makes no doubt,  
So He may bring his close designs about.  
And for the plundering Scot, to hold him just  
Who falsified his oath, made sale of trust;  
Exposed his Prince sprung from their native stock  
To base restraint, contempt, and fatal block:  
If these deserve approvement, there's no reason  
For Loyalty to mount, but veil to Treason.  
Now as we have our Presbyter pursued,  
Here with his admonition we'll conclude:  
That if there be least grain of Grace remaining▪  
His sense of sin may bring him to reclaiming.  
Since a pretence to banish Superstition,  
Has made our Church a Seed-plot of Division:  
Since ancient rites, Shrines, relics of the Saints,  
Robes, Ceremonies, Tapers, Ornaments;  
Since Imagery and Pictures to his eye  
Appear occasions of Idolatry;  
Since he no decency can well approve,  
So as Christ scarcely may discern his Love,  
Nor take delight in his abused Spouse  
Stripped of her clothes, and spoiled in her house;  
Since Order is an Enemy to him  
As 'tis i'th' mansion of that Prince of sin;  
Since breach of moral and diviner Laws  
Accuse him jointly for the moving Cause;  
Since wasting famine and the raging sword  
And with that dearth of bread, the want o'th' word  
(Pure Manna I do mean) sprung from this shelf,  
This Shark who knows not what he holds himself.  
If these with such impieties as these  
Took breath from him and his base complices,  
Who like Egyptian flies since they came hither  
Have plagued our Church and Common-weal together;  
Let him with tears ingenuously confess  
Himself the cause of England's heaviness,  
Pollution of Religion, and th' advance  
Of groundless Academic ignorance;  
Subjects untimely ruin, with the fall  
Of Prince and all, all save that Capital;  
That blessed to make us cursed:— That Seat of Pim,  
Shambles of Saints, Monopoly of sin:  
Till its swollen grandeur to that height did grow  
As it slued out the Presbyterian too,  
To mount the Independent; who, he fears,  
Will slight State-foes to fall about his ears.  
Let him then leave his Dreams; since there is no man,  
Admit he be endued with senses common,  
But he shall find, if he his Tenets scan,  
Less truth in him then in the Alcoran.   

AN INDEPENDENT  
IS one, of whom in Mandevile we read,  
Who acts all offices without a Head.  
He knows no King; no Caesar; nor a Law  
That should Allegiance from a subject draw.  
His gallant Independence cannot stand  
Where Sovereignty holds a commanding hand.  
At first (says he) no King was known to us;  
Which to confirm, He states the Question thus.  
When Adam was on earth the only man,  
Admit him King, who were his Subjects than?  
Beasts, Birds and Plants the only Creatures were,  
O'er which he was assigned to domineer:  
Nor can you find, turn Annals o'er and o'er,  
That ever He a Crown Imperiall wore.  
No Princely habit beautified his state,  
No surly Guard sat waiting at his Gate;  
No grooms o'th' Chamber; nor smooth Parasites  
To lure Him to prohibited delights:  
Unless it were, (from whom we're taught to err,)  
That Serpent Parasite, damned Lucifer.  
Courts were not then exposed to merchandise,  
His Garden bounded in his Liberties;  
Which in their choice fruition were so many,  
They pleased himself without offence to any.  
His solitary Empire was so good,  
Oppression was a word not understood:  
An Eden given him for his Continent,  
Where each flower cheered his sense with various sent.  
A native freedom made him only great,  
And though no Monarch in a Monarch's seat.  
Nor King, nor Subject He; but such an one,  
" None did depend of Him, and He of none.  
King's are usurpers, take them at the best,  
Who with stolen feathers build their airy Nest.  
For if their aims comply with liquorish sense,  
Angling at more than humane competence,  
They play the ravenous state-incroching Beasts  
To sat their quests with others interests.  
And must our flesh feed their insatiate jaws,  
Or slave our freedom to tyrannic Laws,  
Which much like subtle Spiderwebs betray  
Small Flies, while Great ones scape and break away?  
He then who would his Liberty resign,  
And make himself a bondslave unto time,  
May he wind up his days in discontent,  
By changing of his freedom with restraint.  
A brave exchange! when th' Master of a Trade,  
Is through his weakness an Apprentice made;  
As if he should less dignity receive  
From style of Freeman, than the stamp of Slave.  
Give me leave then to be my own Physician,  
And build my faith upon this firm Position:  
" He who depends upon another's power,  
" Forfeits his state to his Superior.  
What a disloyal Libertine is this,  
Hugs Independence, Knows not what it is:  
And for his life cannot assoil this doubt,  
Which member has most worth the Head or Foot?  
'Tis his opinion too, no vital part  
Holds any such dependence on the heart,  
As to take strength or livelihood from it,  
Or that one joint should to another knit,  
But keep a distance: as if nature meant  
An independent equal Government  
Through all this little humane Common-weal;  
No Court must to another make appeal.  
So as, methinks, His statue is become  
Like Mahomet's rare— independent Tomb  
In Mecha reared; which twixed two Adamants  
To th' admiration of those Miscreants,  
Hangs in an equal distance without stay,  
From roof to pavement in a middle way.  
Should we survey Him further, we might find  
This Prodigy to nature most unkind  
To his own Members being much ashamed  
To call them his, because they're Organs named:  
Tunelesse they must be, if such Pipes they be,  
Swollen with Apocryphal disharmonie.  
But what are State-distractions unto Him;  
In troubled waters He desires to swim?  
For even as Beetles are by ordure bred,  
So is his humour by distempers fed:  
When flourishing Empires surfeiting of peace  
Break forth into rebellious Complices;  
When civil wars imbroile a fruitful Land,  
And gauge our fortunes to a Soldier's hand;  
When Princes are cut off, and Traitors live  
By their own Laws without Prerogative  
Or check of Caesar; than, and ne'er till than  
Doth th' Independent show himself a man;  
Or savage fury; then is his harvest-day,  
Which must by others ruin make a way  
To his exhausted fortunes; and redeem  
His blanched fame by good men's disesteem.  
Fame strangely purchased; when a knave in grain  
Aims at esteem by an injurious gain!  
But to reclaim thee, and expunge that wrong  
Absurd opinion thou hast nursed so long,  
Tell me, licentious rioter, whose state  
Has its subsistence from our civil hate  
Fed by perfidious Council; what canst see  
Should plant these grounds of Independency  
In thy distempered bosom?— Take a view  
Of all such Creatures as on Earth renew,  
What Analogical dependence these  
Acknowledge in their natural increase.  
Plants cheered by silver dews and glorious rays  
Bud, bloom and blossom forth delicious sprays;  
Which without native heat and moisture too  
Would neither fruit not livery bestow:  
The faithful Elm supports the fruitful Vine,  
The Honey-suckle clinges the Eglantine;  
An Emblem of the State and Church our Mother,  
Holding such near dependence one on th' other.  
Rills from their Fountains like relation take,  
Sprigs from their Stems, and Consorts from their Make,  
Servants to Masters, Children to the Law  
Of Parents, whence they their extraction draw;  
Soldiers to their Commanders; in a word  
Inferior States to their superior Lord  
Hold true Analogy: No Music sweet  
Unless the strings harmoniously meet:  
And breathe such Diapason in the ear  
As no dis-union in their notes appear.  
Had Orpheus harp been harsh, we may presume  
Pluto had ne'er been ravished with his Tune,  
Nor so surprised with his attractive hand  
As to bestow whatsoever He would demand.  
O had he been from jealousy as clear,  
As in his Musical pure Lyric sphere,  
He might with safety have enjoined his Bride,  
Who now lies wantoning by Pluto's side!  
Observe but these; and see if any shelf  
Encounter with dependence but thyself.  
Stones by a native cement are so knit,  
No art nor violence may sever it  
Without a dissolution of the main,  
In these reflect upon thy Sovereign,  
That polished stone, if it should be defaced,  
The structur's blemished where it was placed.  
For it fares with the body Politic  
As with the Natural; if the Head be sick,  
Or indisposed, the Members needs must show  
An Indisposure in their temper too.  
He sits at stern, and like a Pilot guides  
The ship that on the Ocean bravely rides.  
Impetuous winds He patiently endures,  
Imperious fears He with his courage cures;  
He holds the Card by which they steer their course,  
He of his fellow's sufferings takes remorse.  
He shares in all extremes: and entertains  
His Mariners for sharers in his gains.  
Now, who is He if humane, could afford  
An hand to throw this Pilot over board?  
Yet thou art He hast done it:— yea that Gate  
Where thou performed that tragic Act of late,  
Act of all Acts a Precedent, and tell  
If any age can show its parallel.  
Now if a Tree be best known by the fruit,  
How may it with an Independent suit.  
To kill his Sovereign?— Abjure it then  
And be no more a Prodigy to men:  
And to assoil the crime that thou haste done  
Unto his Sire, redeem it in his Son.  
Recant, relent, return, repair thy time,  
And turn true Convert to the Royal line.   

A LEVELLER  
IS a Platonic Pioneer, whose care  
Is in another's fortunes so to share,  
As He his full proportion may get  
In their Receipts for which He never sweat.  
This man 'mongst fools was held in great esteem,  
Deluding them with this fantastic dream,  
That none in proper should possessed be  
What others might not have as well as Herald  
This was cried up at first with great applause,  
Because it was confined to no Laws:  
The Apprentice now might be a Freeman made  
First day he came, and never learn his Trade.  
A puny Clerk might for a Justice sit  
And vie with's Master both for worth and wit.  
The foreman too, for so his fate allows,  
Might freely share in's Master's Countinghouse.  
He who Margites-like had spent his prime,  
And ne'er did any good thing all his time,  
Might safely style himself some great man's Heir,  
And share more in his treasure then his care.  
The Prodigal fed with delicious sloth,  
And knew no posture but from hand to mouth,  
When he with riot had consumed his store,  
Might leap into a Mine of Golden oar  
To second his late surfeits, and repent  
Of nothing more, save that no more was spent.  
No difference 'twixt mistress and her maid,  
Both in their order equally obeyed.  
For Academies, though no precious gem  
Should be compared to Learning amongst men,  
Proficients in Arts so slighted were,  
A Groom might be made Doctor of the Chair.  
Scholastic Tippets, orders and degrees  
Might be conferred without accustomed fees.  
Fat prebend's, who might by their Patrons rise,  
With those who ne'er rose to a Benefice  
Might share alike, and jointly be possessed  
As if they had a mutual interest.  
No Farmer needed to observe his day,  
Because no Law in joined Him to pay.  
All stood Copartners, and might partake  
By Competition in an equal Stake.  
O dainty mould of formelesse Government,  
When fools are only holden provident!  
When Princes, Peers, and Persons of renown  
Must rank in state and breeding with the Clown!  
When swads who never knew gentility,  
Extraction, posture, graceful quality,  
Nor civil garbs, must strut it cheek by jowl  
With Purple Senators, without control!  
Brave a la mode! if this fanatic level  
Suit not with that Dominion of the Devil,  
Where horror and confusion only dwell,  
I'll say there is an harmony in Hell.  
Now in this Levelling order you shall find  
Two distinct sorts branched in a several kind.  
The first true Adamites, with strength of hand  
Dig Commons up, let no enclosure stand.  
And these are they endure the heat o'th' day,  
Doing their work in hope of future pay:  
Our Commons Rural Patriots: who indeed,  
Account themselves Heirs of the promised seed:  
But peaceful portions please not factious men;  
They may inherit, true; but God knows when.  
The other shows himself more Martiall-like,  
One less inur'd to Mattock then to Pike.  
This swears by his Buff-jerkin, He would see  
That man who dares stand for a Monarchy.  
The Kingdom's ours, late purchased by our sword,  
And we'll dispose on't at our Councell-Boord,  
Thus swells this Ranter:— He who would command  
Or share in fortunes, must receive our hand  
To make his Title good:— what do ye talk  
O'th' Old Exchange or of the Merchants walk;  
Their Trafficks and Accounts for many years  
Serve but to answer us for our areares?  
The City thinks we their Protectors are,  
And for their safety keep our quarters there:  
But simple Cockneys, they shall shortly find  
By our designs, we're of another mind.  
Our aime's Community; and we must have  
A part in that which they take care to save.  
Their sleeps were calm and sweet: none to molest  
Their conjugal Embrace; no barred Chest;  
While we to all extremes engaged were,  
And had no Twilt to shroud us but the air.  
None with rich fraught did e'er the haven enter,  
Who on the Sea would not his person venture.  
And must these Lobsters flow with store of wealth,  
Enjoy their liberty, preserve their health  
Witn Physical Receipts, while we confine  
Our famished hopes to th' humours of the time?  
No, No; these Bilbows that impale our side  
Bid us march bravely and observe the tide.  
We're Caesars all; and those who will not give  
Way to our Law, He ne'er deserves to live.  
We promise parity, and that is Law  
Which like th' attractive Adamant will draw  
Plebeian factions, who desire to be  
Owners of theirs, and in their persons free.  
But little know these foundlings what we mean,  
For we in truth are not the same we seem.  
'Tis least of our intent that these should stand  
Equal to us in fortunes and command.  
These must be Petti-sharers at the best,  
And reap their Vintage where our grapes are pressed.  
Soldiers of fortunes once, indeed, we were,  
But now that needy style we scorn to beat.  
Success has made us great: nor do we know  
That Sect or Faction that can make us low.  
We frame no Caledonian pretence  
As if we went to fight for Conscience  
As Presbyterians do; whose pilfering zeal  
Can make a Shirt o'th' Syrpecloath that they steal.  
Religion is no Action we maintain,  
Platonic parity is all our aim;  
Which having got, Those that depend upon us  
Shall see how State and Majesty become us.  
Who by success is Sovereign made of power,  
Cannot endure a rude Competitour:  
So who by Conquest has advantage got  
And ne'er improves it, He deserves it not.  
Hear you this ranting Rebel make his boast,  
As if he could by his victorious Host  
Subdue the spacious world, and retain  
The style of universal Sovereign?  
But hear this Admonition, Sir, of ours  
Before that Conquest make the world yours.  
You tell us, Sir, you never meant to fight  
For your Religion nor the Church's right.  
The aim you had in your commencing war  
Was to make States monarchial, Popular:  
Though I must tell you, some have lost their blood,  
Of your own faction, for the Churches good;  
And late at Tyburn left a precious pledge  
For Clements and S. Gyles joint Sacrilege:  
So as for sacred stealth, though nor for murder,  
You past, S. Gyles to mount a little further.  
It was no Clergies cause nor care of King  
But Church's stuff that raised them to this string.  
But pray thee Leveller, what hast thou done  
To make thee such a fearful Myrmidon?  
Did not thy Forces lately, Horse and Foot  
Receive from General a fatal rout?  
Were not some of your Chief Commanders shot,  
While th' rest by their submission quarter got?  
Must these run o'er the world, and display  
Their plumed helms, who lately run away?  
Ye who resolved to lay your Level round,  
Are you not now laid Level with the ground;  
Rest of repose; of fortunes dispossessed,  
Unless ye build upon the Martin's nest?  
Come Leveller, let's have no more to do,  
See what condition thou art brought into.  
Hang up thy Musket, Falchion, Fife and Drum,  
Until the Prince unto our Borders come:  
Whom to restore should be thine only Level,  
All else act Mathematics for the Devil.  
The only way to regulate the time  
Is by a loyal Level, royal Line.  
This will conduct your aims to glorious ends,  
And of State-traytors, style you Caesar's friends.   

Upon the ERRATAE'S.  
DUring the late fatal continuance or epidemical dispersion of that unexemplary Kings evil; a contagion of such malignant influence, as it forced a Princely Father to the Block; his Son to Exile; enacting Loyalty High Treason: and a Competent Estate a Sufficient Plea to impeach the Innocent of Delinquency. During (I say) this Career in our distracted State; Sundry Parts of these Sections, through the Stationer's fear of the strict and severe search of irregular Censors, or mercenary visitants, (who pretended a power to seize on the Press, to cram their own Purse) were scattered, in hope to be secured: so as the Original Copy, after a long quest could not be retrived: nor these Sections completed; till now by the Author's industry, recollection and Helps of memory recovered, revived and methodically digested.  
Though His necessitated attendance on Committees enjoining his absence from the Press, might occasion the Committing of many Errors, which by his presence might have been prevented. Let Goldsmith's Hall then undergo the Censure: 
A self-interessed Committee, the cunningest inameller of Vice: and inchaser of State-Error.  seeing it knows so well how to gild Error: and embellish it too with a Curious State-Cov●r.  
Now to remove all grounds of prejudicacy (for it fares with Books ofttimes, as it doth with Great-man's Children, to be wrong fathered) the Author of these Sections, is supposed to be the same, who writ that Excellent Tragicomedy, entitled- MERCURIUS BASILICUS; presented with no less State than general applause before the Queen of Swede and other Princes at her Palace of Stockholme.  
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