TITUS OATES.  
WILLIAM BEDLOE.  
Stephen Dugdale.  
Miles Prance.    

THE MEMOIRES OF Titus Oates.  
Written for Public Satisfaction.  

Oats, Bedlow, Dugdale, Prance; whose Breath alone,  
Could almost States subvert, and Kings dethrone!  
To sculp their Shadow's in the Power of Art:  
Ink may be black enough to act that Part.  
Drawn to the Life would you their Souls behold,  
That Work requires a more Infernal Mould.   
LONDON, Printed for Thomas Graves, 1685.   

THE PREFACE.  
THE great and wonderful Exploits of our Hero Titus, have so far outdone the Feats of Sancho Pancha himself, that the very Atcheiuments even of a Garantua, will bear a fairer Appearance of History and Truth, than the more Romantic Narrative of our Great and Formidable Salamanca Discoverer. For, truly to consider how strangely powerful, the Infatuations even of almost three whole Kingdoms have been, in reposing such implicit Faith in a Discovery made up of so many Incongruities, Inconsistencies and palpable Contradictions, as are all along through the Depositions of the pretended Popish-Plot, is enough to make the English Credulity so universally ridiculous, that all Christendom shall blush at us; and our very Posterity shall be so much ashamed of their Forefathers Folleys, and stupidity; till future Generations, even for their own Reputation, shall as zealously endeavour to cover and conceal this most Egregious Blindside of their besotted Progenitors, as ever Shem and Japhet did the Nakedness of their Father.  
But because Justice has at last in some part overtaken him, and Frydays and Saturdays Inquisition into the Innocent Blood, that that Barbarous Wretch has so solemnly murdered, has set forth the Perjured Murderer in some of his true infernal Colours; I have thought fit to Publish these farther Memoires of that ever execrable Fardel of Imposture and Perjury, his pretended Discovery of the Popish Plot. And the reason of this undertaking is, that notwithstanding the two last Trials have made his sham's and Lies so notoriously apparent, as to make him truly deserve the Lord Chief Justices proper character of him of being certainly the Blackest of Villains that ever lived upon the face of the Earth, and those two Limbs of his Plot, his Consult, on the 24th of April, and the August following, have sufficiently assured us that all the rest of his Discoveries are but Branches of the same damnable Stock: whilst the same vein of perjury runs through the whole Mass of his Hellish Lies and Narratives; yet because the Universal spirit of Delusion is such, that too many of our English Fools are as fond of their own senseless Dreams as of their very Bibles themselves; and no doubt there are yet thousands of those unthinking, unconverted Animals, that have that veneration still for their Darling Titus, that they pay him even a wild Indian Adoration, and make a God of the Devil himself, it will not be amiss to examine a few more particulars, by way of enquiry into the most important Foundation of his whole Plot, and show what Nonsense and Chimeras have been imposed upon the World.   

Titus' Oats HIS MEMOIRES.  
THe Popish Plot, as delivered by Titus Oats, and the rest of his Zanies, Bedlow, Dugdale, Prance, etc. is wholly founded on these two Bases:  
First, That the Papists had a Design to Murder the late King;  
And next, to Massacre Us; Popery being only to be introduced by these two Desperate and bloody undertake.  
The several Attempts and Designs of Murdering the King are as follows.  
The First Bloody Resolve of the Papists for that purpose, was on the 24th. of April in the Year 78, whilst Oats upon the Holy Evangelists, assures us, that the Principal of the Jesuits, and other great Popish Agents, to the number of above fifty, from several parts of the World met together on that day, and came to this Resolve; That Pickering and Groves should go on with their Attempt of Murdering the King, for which the one should have 1500 l. and the other 30000 Masses: to which Resolve and promise, they all at several places subscribed their several hands.  
Now we are to know likewise who those two Persons were, that were thus set at work, viz. Two poor Servants & Retainers to the Romish Priests, & two Persons, who had been before engaged in the same Design, & had dogged the King (by Oats his own Oath) from the year Seventy to that very day, with screwed Guns and Silver Bullets to do the same Execution; and were two such Wretched Fools at so desperate a piece of service, that one time their Flint was lose; another time, their Gun was charged with all Bullets and no Powder; another, with no Powder in the Pan; and another, with all Powder and no Bullets. Yet nevertheless, after they had always miscarried at this egregious senseless Rate, and had been disciplined severely for it. Here meets a consult of Jesuits from all Quarters of Europe, and after a full Debate upon so Important a point to their Grand Design, as the Immediate Murder of the King: they come to no other Result than that these two poor Cuddens, after above seven Years fumbling before, should go on with the Attempt, without so much as engageing one hand beside in the Conspiracy (: for all the other Assassionates were not Embarked in the Design, till August following) so that, had Oats been able to have proved himself here in Town at the April-Consult, nevertheless, his Great April-Plot must still have fallen to the ground, and consequently, all the Blood of the Executed Papists have cried for Vengeance from so Perjured a Murderer; unless we can imagine, that so many Popish Emissaries, the greatest of all the Romish Politicians, could be guilty of so ridiculous a Management.  
Besides, as the sequel of this King-killing-Blow, Oats particularly swears, That no sooner was the King to have fallen, but both the Spanish Pilgrims, thirty thousand strong, and a French Army besides were prepared to Land, and follow the Blow by Joining with the English Papists already listed for that purpose, and cutting the Protestants Throats; so that upon the upshot of the whole matter, unless we can suppose, that the French and Spanish Kings had their Pilgrims and Armies, and a Fleet ready to land 'em all prepared for seven whole Years together Winter or Summer, to step over the Water, to neck the Business, and prosecute the Massacre upon the crisis of the King's Murder, the whole Conspiracy comes to nothing.  
Besides, we must pardon Mr. Oates his forgetfulness in several main passages of Pickerings Achievement; First, That in his Narrative he expressly upon Oath, Assigns the time of Pickerings flint being lose, and his being lashed for it, to be in January, 77. but at his Trial he positively swears it was done in April 78. Secondly, We must not be staggered to imagine how a Fellow in so open a place as St. James's-Park could present a Gun against the King, and flash in the very Pan (as another time he swears for Pickering) and yet neither the King nor one of his Attendants discover him. Neither are we to reflect, how 'tis utterly impossible to shoot a Silver Bullet out of a screwed Gun, Silver being too hard a metal ever to be discharged without tearing the Gun all to Pieces.  
For the History of his other Popish Ruffians, his Conyers with his Dagger, his four Irish Ruffians, (by the by, all Gentlemen of Quality and Fortunes, and yet all hired for so bold an attempt, as shooting the King, for but poor fourscore pounds between them, when the little inconsiderable Wretch Groves, was to be rewarded with no less than 1500 l.) For the History I say of these Assassinates, and Sir George Wakemans Affair, they were altogether a Mass of nonsense so nauseously fulsome, that even the all-believing whigs themselves, in the very hottest Dog-days of true Protestant Zeal and Euthusiasm turned stomach at; insomuch, that the terrible Poisoner Sir George himself was acquitted even by a Whig Jury: In Defiance of all the Popish Fears and Jealousies, which in that time of the World were no less than Mountain High.  
But to muster the strength of all these last undertakers, and indeed, the whole force of his whole Plot itself. In his Preface to his Narrative, he tells the World, that he discovered his Plot first to His Majesty, by the introduction of Mr. Christopher Kirby on the 13th. of August 78. At which time you must note, he brought no other credentials to support his Plot, but Words and Forehead, Oath and Impudence, being utterly unable to produce the least scrap of one of all his numberless pretended Treasonable Papers, Letters, or Commissions, to Corroborate his Evidence; notwithstanding his Narrative assures us, that the Jesuits had long before wrought the King almost to an utter Deafness and Infidelity, against all Informations whatever against them, and consequently, his preserving of some of those undeniable Records against them, all entrusted in his Hands, was the only necessary Introduction to the Credit and support of his whole Discovery.  
But however, tho' not one syllable of any thing of that Kind, was ever seen or brought forth from that day to this, and the only lame Excuse that can help him, is, to say, Truly whilst he plotted with them he was one of them, & therefore did not seek to preserve any such Convincing Papers or Commission: Tho' by the by, it looks a little odd in one of his Trials, where he downright swears, he was a Protestant all along, and disguised himself a Papist only to herd with them to betray them. But let that pass.  
The Prodigious oversight and negligence of our Discoverer in this Point, being forgiven him for once: How comes it to pass, nevertheless that after that very 13th. Day of August, when he returned again to the Jesuits, and plotted with them once more, only as a Spy and a Trapan, to take an opportunity of betraying them; when after that very day, he delivered out several new Commissions, met also at a consult of the Benedictines, and carried their Subscribed Resolve of Murdering the King, to a second consult of the Carmelites for to sign it; met likewise another time Conyers with his Broad Dagger in Grays-Inn-Walks, and Pickering with his Basket of Fire-Balls at noon day in Lincolns-Inn-Fields, when he saw Coleman dispatch the Messenger to the four Irish Ruffians: Nay and all the whole business of Sir George Wakeman was all acted after that Day; when in fine no less than thirty Paragraphs in his Narrative containing the very hottest part of his whole Plot, were all Transactions after this first Discovery to the King: How comes it to pass, I say, after his cold Reception at Court, and the Kings so obdurate Incredulity, that our Adventurer should set out a Treason hunting once more, for no other design but for proof and Demonstrations, and Ocular Testimonials; and yet after all these offered advantages of both Conspirators and Conspiracies, Traitors and Treasonable Records in his Power, he should still come to Sir Edmund-Bury-Godfrey, the September following, with his full and complete Popish Manifesto, and yet without one scrap of Commissions, Papers, Resolves, etc. and with only his Old Jargon, Breath and words, noise and Oaths for the support of his pretended Oraculous Discovery. Good Heaven! How wide was the English swallow? When such idle ridiculous stuff could go down.  
But to leave the Kingkilling part of his Plot, and take a little view of his Protestant Throat Cutting, viz. The second Act of his Popish Tragedy.  
Here we must return to his Spanish Pilgrims, his Black Bills, and his French Armies before mentioned together with the Armies of English Papists designed to be raised, to join with them. And to begin at home, here was the Lord Bellasis, and the Lord Petre, and a great many other of the greatest Roman Catholik's had Commissions delivered them to be Generals, Lieutenant Generals, and so downwards to Colonels and Captains, etc. Over severals Popish Armies intended to be raised to subdue England to the Romish Yoke.  
Now here are a great many very odd things in this projection. First, 'Tis wondrous, that the Jesuits and the Head Plotters of the Papists were so Cocksure of the Fidelity of their whole Party; that they durst hope to list so many Thousands of Roman Catholics, (nay had listed them, if Bedloe may be believed, being all ready to rise at four and twenty hours' warning) and not have one false Brother amongst them all, to betray so barbarous, and so Rebellious an Undertaking. There was a time when Thousands of that Religion ventured both Lives and Fortunes to recover the Kings Right against usurping Traitors; with scarce one Dissenter amongst the whole Party, against so Loyal a Cause; and 'tis a very strange change, that in a matter of thirty odd Years, they should all be so Universally perverted to the Deposing and Murdering him, as not to meet so much as one Pendril or one Huddleston amongst so many thousand, (as this Army was to consist of) that might probably have told tales beforehand, and, betrayed so Wicked and so Hellish a purpose, and thereby not only have ruined the whole Plot, but the whole Party besides.  
Secondly, We are to take notice, 'twas in May, June, July, and August 78. That Oates attests his delivery of Commissions for the pretended Popish Armies. And on the success of these Armies assisted by the Forreighn Popish Auxiliaries before mentioned depended the whole fortune of the Romish Cause, Popery being wholly to be Establishst by Military Execution. And yet as the Devil and the Doctor would have it, Pickering and Groves, as you have been told before had been seven years together at the King's very Throat, nay and the Great rewards of 1500 ll and 30000 Masses, together with Pickerings severe Backside Castigation, were Motives and Spurs to hasten and expedite the future performance of these two terrible screwed Gunners. And yet here was the King to have been shot the very next moment (if possible) and all the while the very Commissions were not given out, till for some months after, for the raising the Army so immediately necessary to prosecute the Blow after the King's dispatch. Now in the name of dulness where were Our Wits when all this Hideous pieco of Apocrypha was current Gospel amongst us.  
And Lastly, To bring the Foreign Heroes into Play too, Oates swears that upon subduing of England in manner aforesaid, the French were to be Lord of be Ascendant, the Government of England being designed to have devolved into their hands. And pray mark the Riddle of the Business. Here was the Spanish King in the Year 78. lend no less a Body of Men then thirty thousand Fight Pilgrims to help establish the French King in the Monarchy of England at the very same time, that he was in actual Wars against him, and an utter Enemy to France, and so harassed by the French, that he was courting almost all Christendom against him, and imploring all Foreighn Aides and Alliances to oppose him, yes, tho' he had already lost so large, and so important a part of his own Country to him, and was not over able with his best strength to defend the rest from him, yet is this Spanish King forsooth (if Oats his Evidence will hold Water) aiding and assisting the French King, with so vast a Succour, for the enlarging the very Victories of his most hated Enemy by so prodigious an Acquisition as the Imperial Diadem of England. Oh! The Miracles of a Romish-Plot, and the more Miraculous English stomach to digest it.  
This, Reader, is the great and dreadful Popish Bugbear, that once had Power to Fright three Kingdoms out of their Senses, and this the Saviour of the Nation, that so many almost prostrate Knees, and up lifted Hands, entertained and saluted with no less than Palm-Branches and hosannah's. The particularising of all the nonsensical Incongruitys, and Contradictions through the whole Legend of his Discovery, such as his Swearing at one Trial he was perverted to the Romish Religion; and at another, that he was still a Protestant, and only played the Hypocrite amongst the Papists to learn their Secrets, and to detect their Plots: And then his Swearing before the Council, that he knew not Coleman, when brought Face to Face before him; and yet at his Trial, to Swear he was his most intimate Acquaintance, and Co-Plotter in the whole Business of the Four Irish Ruffians; and consequently was the main Evidence that Hanged him. But most of all, this his most egregious Perjury, in Swearing before the House of Lords, that he had Discovered his whole Plot, and had not one Person more to Accuse, than what he had named and impeached before; and yet after all this, to bring the very Queen into the Conspiracy to Poison the King; a Princess of that immaculate Virtue, and unexampled Piety into so damnable and hellish a Design; that most Arrogant of Impostures and Villainies, as far from the very shadow of Truth, as the Monster, that uttered it, is from Heaven. The particularising I say of all the egregious and impudent Falsities, through his whole Fardel of Narratives is a Work too long and tedious. Besides the Mystery of Iniquity (thanks be to Heaven) is already made so tranparent almost to all Eyes and Understandings: that 'tis almost impossible that any thing but wilful and hardened Blindness itself, cannot plainly see through.  
The only and last, though feeble, Argument that his Defenders (if 'tis possible he can have any left) can make for him, is to say. How is it possible that all his Discovery should be such errand Forgery and Imposture, and yet be so universally believed, even by the most unanimous, and so long Assent of the greatest and most sensible Men of the whole Kingdom? Why truly, were not an English-Mans Belief one of the greatest Prodigies since the Flood, this might be much wondered at. And truly it would appear almost stupendious, how almost a whole Nation should be so besotted, had not woeful experience convinced, that truly this is but the second Notorious Blot in our English Scutcheon. For let us but look back into the dismal Fears and Jealoasies in the first King CHARLES his Reign, and we shall find the self same Phantom governed then too. And just such another as senseless and as ridiculous imaginary Plot of setting up Popery, and Arbitrary Power, O Monstrum Horendum! Blew Three Kingdoms into a Flame: and from the dismal Effects of that Epidemical Lunacy, has left that stain upon the English Name and Reputation abroad in the World; that not whole Ages will wash off. And truly we have no Excuse left, why we should be so grossly imposed upon again, and run into a second as damnable an Error as the first, but frankly confessing, that the Frenzy of our Fathers is Hereditary, and nothing but their Madness running in our Bloods has been the cause of so enormous a Folly, the extravagant Apprehensions of the Danger of Popery being that natural impefection that the generality of English Men are as much born to, as men are to a Club-Foot, or a Hunch-Back, or any other Deformity; and really, which they are almost as hardly to be cured of.  
And therefore to draw to an End with our Swearing Master Titus, that Hellish Incendiary, and chief Visible Original of our so many Years Distractions: His Sentence, though it seem Severe, is much less than he deserves; our English Lawmakers, as never imagining the possibility of so unexampled an Offender, having provided no Punishment equal to the Demerits of such unprecedented Villainy.  
FINIS.   

Entered according to Order.