THE ACCOMPLISHED PHYSICIAN, THE HONEST APOTHECARY, AND THE SKILFUL CHIRURGEON,  
DETECTING Their necessary Connexion, and dependence on each other.  
WITHAL A DISCOVERY Of the Frauds of the  
QUACKING EMPIRICK, THE PRAESCRIBING SURGEON, AND THE PRACTISING APOTHECARY, WHEREUNTO IS ADDED  

The Physician's Circuit,  
The History of Physic;  
And a Lash for Lex Talionis.   Homine semidocto quid iniquius? 
London, Printed, and are to be Sold in Little-Britain. 1670.   

THE PREFACE TO THE VULGAR READER.  
READER,  
TO those whom Nature hath raised out of a refined mould, and are by their Education sublimed to a higher sphere, as the Gentry and Literate Persons of England, this Discourse is no wise directed, unless accidentally by a superficial view, they should give themselves the divertisement of admiring the folly, indiscretion, and fond passion of the Uulgar, whom moving erratically in a lower region, is the proper task of these Sheets, to reduce to a more certain and less planetary motion.  
As the Art of Physic through its excellency hath ever dignified Physicians to that Degree, as to appear most acceptable to Kings, Princes, and all others of the highest rank; so likewise have Physicians retributed a just gratitude to their Art, by super adding to it that lustre and splendour, derived from their most successful Cures and excellent Practice, and particularly from that so famed Aesculapian College of London, and other Doctors of Physic, who by their Study and Experience, through Travel have of right merited that title: These and their Art have of late years been rendered subject to the same fate Religion and the Law not long before, of being subverted by the ignorance and ambiiton of such whose brain is as subject to vapours, as the climate wherein they live, being all manner of ways ignorant of the delicious fruits of life, that are reaped from a constancy in their Church-worship, their subjection to Government, and in their due Veneration of Learning. Their ignorance is discernible in their senseless liberality, of conferring the honour and title of Doctor upon every Quack, Empirick, Surgeon, Apothecary, and almost every one that carries but the scent of Mithridate about him; and the Ambition of these is no less ridiculous in receiving that mock-title. However since it is their vulgar humour so to do, I have for their better understanding corresponded with it so far, as to continue the same titles of Physician, Doctor, Church-yard and Hackney Physician applied to the same parties, viz. to Quacks, Empirics, Praescribing Surgeons, and Practising Apothecaries, for the most part meaning no other but such, unless where for distinction the Reader will occur with the addition of Accomplished. My name I have purposely concealed, because from this small labour I promise myself no other advantage, than a complacency in my own sentiment, of having performed a duty, that Noble Art, and it's most Ingenious Artists, require from all, that have received a benefit from it and them, in defending its honour and eminency from the abuse and violation of such mean and pitiful animals, as are above mentioned.  
And among that fry, none arrogate a greater sharp in the practice of Physic, than the praescribing Surgeons, who seem to be enfranchised in it, since now a day's Physicians take so little inspection into their boutchery, and inhuman practice, which because I shall not much insist upon in the ensuing Discourse; I will insert an instance or two here: One I knew, that against a Diarrhoea or looseness, gave the Patient two drams of Diapalma Plaster made up in Pills, for several days, which through the quantity of lythargir it contained, gradually poisoned the party. Another presented his Patient with half an ounce of Mercurius Dulcis a day, for ten days together, which absolutely destroyed the tone of the stomach, subverted the temperament of the brain, and at last rendered him paralytic. A third upon the exhibition of red Praecipitate ill praepared & worse applied, after innumerable stools precipitated the Patient into his Coffin; this and many other disasters were the consequence of a huge Army-Bone-Setter's practice; who for his Profanations, and Atheistical opinions is the Monstrum horrendum of all men; & for his extreme illiterature is the only he, I should admire, that through his impertinent and fastidious boldness did arrive to the least repute, were it not his attendance on a great person had given a seeming appearance of his bungling skill.  
After all this, I must in short acquaint you with the remainder of my scope, chiefly aiming to distinguish those Praescribing Surgeons, and Practising Apothecaries, by their dangerous and fraudulent practice, from skilful Surgeons and Honest Apothecaries; for both which I have not only a due respect and esteem, but shall hereby endeavour to convince all accomplished Physicians of the necessity of their employments, and dependence on their Art, making it my only request, not to take amiss, what may be expressed in Drollery or earnest against those of their fraternity, that are no less injurious to the Noble Practice of Physic, than the necessary Employ of Skilful Surgeons and Honest Apothecaries.  
My vulgar Reader I hope will not be offended with my frank humour of having objected their fickle-headed inconstancy, which quality being set aside, it may without partiality be asserted, they are a people, whom for their more than ordinary endowments of Mind, singular Valour and address in their Arms, Nature particularly hath distinguished from all other Nations of the Continent, by seating them in a most beautiful Island, and putting in their hands the Scale of justice, to compose or decide the Disputes of all Foreign Princes by their invincible Power at Sea and Land.   

The Accomplished Physician, AND The Honest Apothecary.  
TO discommend what so many are fond of, is a character no ways obliging; and therefore discovering the familiar cheats and impostures of those, whom our vulgar doth so passionately affect, must necessarily prove a work of very slender merit. However, since I do not compute the vain applauses of a credulous rabble the just price of my labours, nor dread the venomous darts of those I make the subject of my discourse, but chiefly rendering myself to that virtue, whereby men are spirited to work a public good to their private disadvantage, shall now open to your sight, the skulls of such as are commonly entrusted with your health, where you may behold the wheels of their brain, framing subtle practices, to drain your dropsical purses, and play the fool with your consumptive bodies.  
§ But that all this should be transacted with a delight to the Patient, may seem no less than a riddle, though easily resolved; for as in cheating there is a Bonum utile, so in being cheated there is a Bonum jucundum, the Impostor usually impressing an expectation more pleasant than ordinary on his Patient's fancy, which doth not a little tickle his dull spleen. This confirms the truth of the Motto, Vúlgús uúlt decipi, The vulgar will needs be cheated; a saying that's more applicable to the commonalty of this Horizon, than of any other in Europe. For that once a a Heelmaker, should arrive to an Estate of many thousands, by selling Barley water with a few drops of Spirit of Salt in it, were in no other City possible, than on Tower-Wharf in London; or that a rational people should permit their purses to be gelded, and their bodies anatomised alive by a huddle of Empirics, as that Hatband-maker, once of moorfield's; the Gunsmith in Barbacan; that old doting piece of Nonsense in Southwark; besides many more, not worth the value of my Ink and Paper, can only be reported of our English: Or that not long since, a French Mountebank Doctor, (who for many years in his own Country, could scarce counterpoise his ordinary expenses, with the fruits of his practice,) should in less time than the common life of a Physician, extract a mass of two hundred thousand Iacobus' out of the Mines of English Churchyards, is an Argument for other Nations, to accuse us of an extreme wantonness in our pockets. But I must praetermit illustrating that Subject, not being embarked in a design of reproving, but informing my vulgar Reader.  
§ The Law looks very grim upon Gipsies for cheating young folks, though of a very small part of their money, by conjecturing at their Fortunes, which possibly may oft correspond with the purpose of their predication, though other times may vary: But vulgar Physicians, and those of no indifferent report, do not only conjecture grossly at the Diseases of their Patients, but also most times make a shameful difference between their conjectures, and the state and event of those Diseases, whereby the party is defrauded of a great part of his money, and like a fool his expectation frustrated.  
Here may be demanded, which of these is the greatest cheat; the Gipsy, who for a trifle it may be a Beggar's Alms, gives his Auditor a divertisement of a pleasant discourse, leaving him withal to a free election of crediting what he pleases, or the vulgar Hackney Physician, who imposes an obligation on his Patient, to believe his impertinent sentiment of his infirmity, and for so doing is satisfied with no less than a whole gripe of Half Crowns? Certainly, where there is a due proportion observed between the recompense and the merit, that cannot be comprehended within the circumference of a cheat, and therefore one might justly aver an indemnity in the Gipsies penny, though no small cheat in the vulgar Empirics jacobus.  
§ But to prevent your censuring me, overbalanced with a prejudice to those, that so much abuse that noble Profession; I'll conduct you into their usual road and method, of examining their Patients, and making inquiry into their Diseases, wherewith being acquainted, you may (though of never so unpolisht a skull) as readily pronounce a Verdict, as the best Lye-a-bed till noon.  
§ This knack doth chiefly consist in three notions, viz. First, that a Patient's grievance is either a discernible evident disease, which his own confession makes known to you, what it is; or Secondly an inward pain; or Thirdly, one of these two Endemick Diseases, a Scurvy, or Consumption, or a third, the Pox. This is their Theory, which is so deep engrafted on their Dura Mater, and may be acquired with less industry, than fourteen years' study at one of our Universities; for so much time is requisite to make a man grow up to a Doctor, the formality whereof in most places consists in, Accipiamús pecuniam et dimittamús asinúm.  
§ Next I'll inform you in the application and uses of these three Notions. If a sick man makes his address to a Vulgar Physician, he demands his complaint; Tother replies, he is troubled either with a Vomiting, Looseness, Want of Stomach, Cough, Bad digesture, Difficulty of breathing or Phtisick, Faintness, Jaundice, Green-sickness, Dropsy, Gout, Convulsion-fits, Palsy, Dizziness or Swimming in the brain; Vomiting, Coughing, or Spitting of Blood, an Ague, a Continual great heat or Fever. These are all evident Diseases the party himself expresses he is troubled with. But his sickness not being an evident Disease, which he himself can explain, the Vulgar Doctor concludes it must be either an inward pain, or an Endemick disease. The Patient then making complaint of an inward pain, to his old trade of guessing t'other goes, inquiring-first in what part; if he answers, he feels a pain in the right side under the short Ribs, he tells him it's an Obstruction or stoppage in the Liver; if in the left side in the opposite part, then it's a stoppage of the Spleen; if in the belly, it may be he calls it a Colic, or wind in the Guts; if in the back or loins he persuades him, it's Gravel, Stone, or some other Obstruction in the Kidneys; if a stitch in the Breast, he terms it a wind, or sometimes a Bastard, or other times a true Pleurisy.  
§ Lastly, if the party be reduced to a very poor and lean carcase, by reason of a long tedious Cough, Spitting of blood, or want of stomach, or Feebleness, or almost any other disease or pain, then be sure, he tells him, he is in a Consumption, or at least falling into one. But being troubled with several diseases and pains at once, as running pains, saintness, want of stomach, change of complexion, so as to look a little yellowish, duskish or greenish; then t'other whispers him, he is troubled with the Scurvy. If diseased with ulcers or running sores, red, yellow, blue, or dark spots, pimples, or botches in the face, arms, legs, or any other part of the body, that's determined to be the Scurvy likewise, supposing the party to be a sober discreet person; but if appearing inclined to wantonness, by reason of his youth or sly countenance, than the forementioned disease is to be called the Pox. In most diseases of women they accuse the Mother. In children their guess seems far more fallible; for a child within the six Months being taken ill, restless, and froward, if there appear no evident disease, he ever affirms it's troubled with gripes; upon which he prognosticates, that not speedily being remedied, the child will fall into Convulsion fits; but this not happening according to his predication, to prevent the forfeiture of his skill and repute, endeavours to possess the Mother and rest of the Gossips, it had inward fits. The child being past six Months, and falling indisposed, then instead of gripes, it's discomposed by breeding of teeth. But having bred all his teeth, and being surprised with any kind of illness, the vulgar Doctor avouches, it's troubled with Worms. In short, take away these three words, Obstruction, Consumption, and Scurvy, and there will remain three dumb Doctors, the Hackney-Physician, The Prescribing Surgeon, and the Practising Apothecary.  
§ Hitherto we have only discovered to you the ordinary Physicians conjecturing compass, whereby he steers his course to arrive to the knowledge of his Patient's diseases; there yet remains we should unlockt'other ventricle of his Brain, to behold the subtlety of his fancy, in groping at the causes of diseases, which though the Poet declares, (foelix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas,) to be clothed with the darkest clouds, yet he by virtue of this following principle, aims at this mark immediately, viz. That most diseasés are caused by Choler, Phlegm, Melancholy, or Abundance of blood. Of these, two are supposed to be hot, namely Choler and Abundance of blood; and the other two cold, to wit Phlegm and Melancholy, and consequently causes of hot and cold diseases. These four universals being reduced to two general Categories under the notion of hot and cold, any one having but the sense of distinguishing Winter from Summer, may in the time of an Hixius Doxius instantly appoint a cause for almost every disease. So that a Patient discovering his trouble, it may be a Want of Stomach, Bad digesture, Fainting, Cough, Difficulty of breathing, Giddiness, Palsy, etc. his Vulgar Physician has no more to do, but takes him by the fist, to feel whether he be hot or cold; if he finds him cold, then summons in his cold causes, Phlegm and Melancholy, which ready and quick pronouncing of the cause upon a mere touch doth almost stupefie our Patient through admiration of this Aesculapian Oracle, hitting him in the right vein to a hairs breadth; for quoth he, Indeed Mr. Doctor, I think you understand my distemper exceedingly well, and have infallibly found out the cause, for every Morning assoon as I awake, I spit such a deal of Phlegm, and moreover I must confess myself to be extremely given to Melancholy. This jumping in Opinions between them, makes Mr. Doctor swell with the expectation of a large fee, which the Patient most freely forces upon him, and so the fool and his money are soon parted. Now it's two to one but both are disappointed, the one in his unexperienced Judgement, t'other in his fond belief; for state the case, the disease takes its growth from choler or abundance of blood, or any other internal cause, there is scarce one in a hundred of those that are indisposed, who is not subject to hawk and spit in the morning, and being reduced to weakness by reason of his trouble, must necessarily be heavy in the passions of his mind, and incident into Melancholy thoughts through the memory of his mortality, occasioned by this infirmity. So that seldom mirth and cheerfulness are housed in indisposed bodies, because they are deficient of that abundance of light and clear spirits, required to produce 'em. No wonder the vulgar is so opiniater in the affair of their temperament, when belaboured with a disease, since in their healthful state it's impossible for a Physician to engage their opinions otherwise, then to believe themselves to be Phlegmatic and Melancholy. Myself have oft been present at the demands of a censure upon the temperament of several, whom some the infallible rules of Art did adjudge Sanguine, others Choleric, etc. to this they would ever reply, they found themselves Phlegmatic and Melancholy; for every morning they spitted up such a great quantity of thick clotted phlegm, that they must needs thence infer their bodies to be Phlegmatic; And Melancholy they were assured did possess 'em, for (say they) though for the most part in company they appeared cheerful and pleasant; yet being alone they were subject to lapse into Melancholy. To this reply was returned, that all men, especially those that are accustomed to Suppers, were subject to hawk and spit phlegm at their awaking, by reason of the vapours, (occasioned through the heat of the Body, drawing inwards to the centre, and melting the Phlegmatic and soluble humours of the Body,) the Stomach and Bowels do transmit to the Brain, during their sleep, which as soon as the spirits are joosned, (for through sleep they are tied and locked up,) and begin to move, are precipitated and distil down to the palate, which to the Brain performs the office, the Neck doth to the Head of an Alembick; and indeed the Brain and its hollownesses being placed a top of the pipes of the Body, is not unlike an Alembick head, for attracting and distilling moist humours.  
§ To return to the point of declaring, how the vulgar strives even with violence to be cheated, not in their Purses only, but in their fancy and Opinion; And in this particular our Women are so violently eager, that if the vulgar Physician can but make a true sound upon the Treble of their Fancy, will produce such a harmony, as shall sound his praise through City and Country; and without these Female Instruments or She Trumpets, it's almost impossible for a Vulgarist to arrive to a famous report, who having once by his Tongue harmony enchanted the women, doth by the same cheat subject the Opinions of men to his advantage, women generally usurping and impropriating the affair of their Husband's health to their own management; for if a man chance to be surprised with sickness, he praesently asks his Wife, what Doctor he shall send to, who instantly gives her direction to him, that had her by the Nose last. In this piece of subtlety our Doctor shows himself no less cunning than the Serpent in Genesis, who to cheat Adam thought it expedient first to deceive Eve.  
§ Now without any further preamble, I must tell you the humour, many a sick woman delights to be coaksed in by the ordinary Physician, viz. she loves to be told, she is very Melancholy, though of never so merry a composure, and in that part of the Litany, Mr. Doctor is a perfect Reader: For a Woman making complaint she is troubled with Drowsiness, want of Stomach; Cough, or almost any distemper, he answers her she is in an ill State, and troubled with great and dangerous Diseases, and all engendered by Melancholy; and then tells her once over again, she is very Melancholy, and saith he probably occasioned by course Treats at home, or some unkindness of Friends, which makes the poor Heart put finger in her eye, and force a deep sigh or two, and all this possibly for being denied a Tankard on Bartholomew Fair, or a new Gown on May Day, which being refreshed in her memory, doth certainly assure her, the impression of that Melancholy to be the original of her trouble, though some months or years past, especially since her Physician discovers to her as much, and for so doing admires him no less, intending withal to give an ample Testimony to the world of her Doctor's great Skill: But this is not all, he pursues his business, looking into her Eyes, where spying a small wrinkle or two in the inward or lesser angle, he tells her, she hath had a child or two, namely a Boy or Girl, according to the place of the foresaid wrinkle in the right or left inward angle; Thence persuades her, that at her last lying in, her Midwife did not perform her office skilfully, or did not lay her well, whereby she received a great deal of praejudice, as Cold, wrenching, or displacing of the Matrix, etc. which instance squaring so exactly with the premeditated sense & opinion of his she Patient, (most Women though never so well accommodated in their Labour, being prone to call the behaviour of their Midwife in question,) he hath now produced a far greater confidence than before; and last of all to complete his work now at the Exit of his gulled Patient, of rendering her thoughts, opinion, and confidence vassals to his service, fame, and advantage, makes one overture more of a great cause of some of her symptoms, declaring to her, she is much subject to Fits of the Mother, occasioning a choking in her throat; and herein they also jump in their Sentiments, scarce one Woman in a hundred but one time or other is assaulted by those uterin steams, especially upon a tempest of any of her Passions of fright, fret, anger, love, etc.  
§ If I have hitherto reproached the vulgar Physician for executing his employ with so little Ingenuity, far greater reason may move me to condemn the Water-Gazer, who by the streams of the Urinal praetends to gratify his Patients nice curiosity of being resolved, what was, what is, and what Disease is to come; and what is more, some by their great cunning aiming to discover as much by the Urinal, as the ginger by the Globe. The fame unto which the English Doctor, still residing at Leyden, had promoted himself, by his most wonderful sagacity in Urins, is not unworthy of your note, hundreds or rather thousands repairing to this stupendious Oracle, to have the state of their Bodies described by their Urin. But when I relate to you the first means, that gave birth to our Countreyman's repute, I shall soon remove your passion of admiring him. Upon his arrival at the place forementioned, he had in his company a bold fellow, that haunted the most noted Taverns and Tap-houses, where by way of discourse divulged the good fortune that was happened to the Town, by the arrival of an English Doctor, whose great Learning and particular Skill in Urins would soon render him famous to all the Inhabitants; this being pronounced with a confidence suitable to the subject, occasioned three sick Scholars, (two Hectics and one Hydropical,) then present, to make trial of the truth of his words the next morning, agreeing to mix all their Urines in one Urinal, and to commit the carriage of it to him, that was Dropsical. In the interim Mr. Doctor is advertised of it by his Companion, which made him so skilful, that when the Hydropical Scholar presented him with the Urinal, to know the state of his diseased Body, he soon gravely replied, that he observed three Urins in this one Urinal, whereof the two lowermost parts of the Urinal appeared to him to be Consumptive, and the third that floated a top Dropsical, withal that their condition was desperate, and at the expiration of six months, they should be all lodged in their graves. This admirable dexterity of discerning Diseases by the Urinal, was soon proclaimed by the Scholars themselves, who all having finished the course of their lives within the time prefixed, proved an undoubted argument of his unparalel parts in the Art of Physic, which immediately procured him an incredible concourse of people for many years together.  
§ That the effects of confoederacy in promoting a Physician to a popular vogue, are as powerful as sinister and disingenuous, may evidently be deduced not only from this Narrative, but from the common design of vulgar Empirics, who to raise their fame as high as a Pyramid, send forth several Moúthers, to Moúthe in all public places, Taverns, Coffee and Alehouses, their vast abilities, expecting with that bate to hook in as many Patients as will swallow it. Others are no less skilled, in counterfeiting their great practice, by causing their Apothecary, or others, to call 'em out of the Church at an Afternoon Sermon, to hasten post to a suborned Patient, to the intent, that the world be advertised of the weighty business this Doctor is concerned in. Neither do I tell you a new thing, that some few years past, a little prating Empirick, by insinuating into the speaking men and holder's forth of Conventicles, had enticed a far greater employ, there his real capacity in Physic could praetend to, but being now well mounted on Horseback, turns his Tail to those, that had so long held the Stirrup to him. Others by their Equipage, Eminent houses, and occasioning one and the same Patient to repair needlessly to them twenty or thirty times, manifest a decoy even taken notice of by the vulgar. These few most disingenuous ways, I do here purposely bring on the board, omitting many others, to convince the public, that the only means for a Physician to advance himself honourably to practice, is by discovering his real abilities, in curing Diseases by quick, certain, and pleasant Medicines, & therefore nothing should render his parts more suspicious, than by attempting their discovery, by such fallacious and ignoble devices; for certainly the conclusion is most Sophistical, that because this Doctor is drawn in his Coach, t'other rides on Horseback, or another hath a Lackey at's heels, therefore he must be excellently qualified in his Profession. But Vulgús uúlt decipi.  
§ If now I describe by way of advice to those that are entering upon the Study of this Divine Art, the method of attaining to a point of excellency in it, that may serve our vulgar for a better rule, to distinguish their attainments by the course they have passed through; first, it's most necessarily requisite, our young Student should be perfectly instructed in the Latin and Greek Tongues, being the universal keys to unlock all those Arts and Sciences, and no less a grace to the future Physician. 'Tis in this particular many of our Embryonated Physicians, that have of late years Transported themselves to Leyden & Utrick, to purchase a degree, have been found very defective, insomuch that I have heard the Professors condemn several of them, for their shameful imperfection in that, which is so great an adornment, and of so absolute an use in the Study of Physic. Neither can less be suspected of some of the more aged vulgar Physicians, making choice to manage their consultations in the vulgar Tongue. Secondly, being thus qualified for a Student, he ought to apply himself close to the Study of Philosophy, for which Oxford and Cambridge may justly challenge a praeeminence above other Universities. Here it's our Student learns to speak like a Scholar, and is informed in the principles of Nature, and the constitution of natural bodies, and so receiving a rough draught in his mind, is to be accomplished by that excellent Science of humane Bodies. But because according to the first Aphorism of the first Master Hypocrates, Art is long, and Life is short, he ought to engage his Diligence, to absolve his Philosophical course in two years at longest, and in the interim for his Recreation and Divertisements enter himself Scholar to the Gardener of the Physic Garden, to be acquainted with the foetures of Plants; but particularly with those, that are familiarly prescribed by Practitioners, to prevent being out-witted by the Herbwomen in the Markets, and to enable him to give a better answer, than it is storied once a Physician did, who having prescribed Maidenhair in his Bill, the Apothecary asked him which sort he meant, t'other replied, some of the Locks of a Virgin. Thirdly, supposing our Student to have made a sufficient progress in Philosophy, may now pass to Leyden, and enter himself into a Collegium Anatomicum, Anatomy being the basis and foundation, whereon that weighty structure of Physic is to be raised; and unless he acquires a more than ordinary knowledge and dexterity in this, will certainly be deceived in the expectation, of ever arriving to the honour, of being justly termed an Accomplished Physician. A proficiency in that part fits him for a Collegium Medicum Institutionum, and afterwards for a Collegium Practicum, and then it's requisite he should embrace the opportunity of visiting the Sick in the Hospital, twice a week with the Physic Professor, where he shall hear him examine those Patients, with all the exactness imaginable, and point at every Disease and its Symptoms as it were with his finger, and afterwards propose several cases upon those distempers, demanding from every young Student his Opinion, and his grounds and reasons for it; withal requiring of him, what course of Physic ought to be prescribed. This is the only way for a young Physician to attain to a habit of knowing Diseases, when he seeth them, and a confident method of ouring those, that may repair to him, without running the hazard of being censured by the Apothecaries, or derided by 'em for his Bills, as too many are, that at Oxford and Cambridge have only imbided a part of Senuert's Institutions, and overlooked Riverius his Practice, and thence attaining to an imperfect and unhappy Skill, by enlarging the Churchyards in the City or Country; but what is more, he shall escape the danger, a young Student I formerly knew in Oxford precipitated himself into, by imagining every Disease he read, was his own▪ I must likewise advise our Student to take his Lodgings there at an able Apothecary's house, to contract the knowledge of Drugs, and of praeparing, dispensing, and mixing them into Compositions, and then by means of his other qualifications, may boldly praetend to direct, inform, correct, and reprove those Apothecaries, which the chance of his Practice shall conduct him to; for it would be adjudged ridiculous, should a Physician undertake to reprehend, and afterward bend his force, to suppress and decry Apothecaries, privately or publicly, without having first acquired a particular experience in their Art. Here it is again, the vulgar Physician is wrapped up in a cloud, and the Apothecaries dance round him; he prescribes Medicines he never saw, they praepare them according to their own will and pleasure. Whether you would not attribute a great honour to a certain vulgar Physician, whom the Commonalty of this City did embrace as their Minion, for his great abilities in Physic; he entering a Druggist's Shop in Cheapside, spied a great piece of a remarkable white light spongy Drug, took it in his hand, and inquired what it was; to whom the Druggist said, do you not know it Mr. Doctor? who replied, No; Why, said the other, it's that you have prescribed a thousand times in your Bills, and you praescribed it to me but the other day; Pray what is't then; said the Doctor? tother answered him, Sir, it's Agarick; Agarick, quoth the Doctor, is this Agarick? O wonderful?  
wonderful Neither is it over those alone the Physician justly claims a super-intendence, but over Surgeons likewise; and therefore in this his course of Study, would contribute to his future qualification, in sojourning a year with an experienced Manual Operator, without any hindrance to his other affair, and there by an Ocular inspection, and handling of all his Instruments, demanding their names, uses, and manner of using, withal by insinuations to visit his Chyrurgical Patients, and see him dress them, would render his Study in Chirurgery so plain and easy, which otherwise might be thought difficult, that it should enable him to give Laws to Surgeons also, especially to those that execute their office with that rashness, indiscretion, and dishonesty, as I once was told a Chirurgeon did, who being met by a friend upon the street, was inquired of, whether he was going in so great haste? Tother made answer, to get a brave Gelding out of a Gentleman's Leg; which being but superficially hurt, he to accomplish his design, did by sharp gnawing Ointments and Plasters purposely widen the Wound, until at length by his tampering, a Gangraene happened, and thereupon his Leg was taken off below the knee, which soon after put a period to his life. To this may be subjoined another gross error, Fabricius Hildanus (if I mistake not) makes mention of, and committed by a Chirurgeon, that was called to remove a hard tumour in the Belly, which by the application of an Emollient Cataplasm, being brought to softness, he judged it ripe and fit for opening, & accordingly made a deep Incision into the Tumour, whereout in stead of Matter, there gushed some softened Excrements, the whole business being nothing but a stoppage and swelling of the Guts through the Ordure that was hardened; which a Laxative clyster would have removed in an instant. No less mistake, and in the same case of the stoppage of the Guts, with some small Inflammation, was committed the other day by a French Chirurgeon, who learnedly praescribed a clyster of eight or ten Ounces of Spirits of Wine, with four or five Ounces of Oil of Turpentine, which rendered the Inflammation Mortal; and so the Brewer, for that was his Vocation, though a young man, was by those fatal hot Liquors that were infused into his Guts, removed out of this world, who in my opinion in the beginning of this accident, did not appear with the least Character that might praesage his death.  
§ These two years having given occasion to our Student to acquire a System and a brief compraehension of the Theory of Physic, and of the Practice likewise; nothing more remains, than to amplify his commenced Knowledge and Experience by his further Travails, to which end takes his Journey to Paris, to be acquainted with the most famed Physicians, and informed in their way of Practice, by surveying their praescripts at the most frequented Apothecaries, to visit for a year every day the Hospitals of L' Hostel Dieú, and La Charité; in which latter its customary for any three or four young Physicians, to examine and overlook the new entered Patients, to name their Distempers among themselves, and propose their Cures, for to compare afterwards their opinions with the Physicians, that are appointed for the Hospital; It is here, where twice a Week he may see Mounsieur janot (if living, for it's above sixteen years since I saw him) the most reputed Chirurgeon of this Age, perform the most difficult Operations of Chirurgery, as Trypaning, Amputating, Cutting of the Stone, Tapping of the Belly and Breast, with the greatest dexterity imaginable. Here he may also observe Wounds and Ulcers cured by virtue of those famed Waters, viz. The White water, and the Yellow water▪ the former being Aqua calcis, the latter the same with an addition of Sublimate.  
§ The Art of praeparing Medicines Chemically, having merited a great esteem for its stupendious and admirable effects in the most despaired Diseases, shows a necessity of being instructed in it, and therefore a Student may for the price of three Pistols, purchase a most exact Skill in it, of one Mounsieur Barlet, if surviving.  
§ Having attained his Scope in this place, his curiosity ought to direct him to Monpelier, where he will meet with a concourse of the greatests Proficients in Physic of Europe, converse with the Professors and Physicians of the place, and out of 'em all extract choice Observations, Secrets, and most subtle Opinions upon several Diseases, which design can scarce be compassed in less than another year. Now we must suppose our Student to merit the title of an able experienced Physician, and raised far above those vulgar ones, that never felt the cold beyond the Chimneys of their homes. He is now rendered capable of understanding the greatest mysteries, and most acute opinions in Physic, which he is chiefly to expect from those reputed Professors of the Albó at Milan, where he is likewise to continue his diligence in visiting the famed Hospital of San Lorenzo, and observe the Italian method, of curing Diseases by alterative Broths, without Purging or Bleeding, that Climate seldom suffering Plethories in those dry Bodies: he cannot but be wonderfully pleased with the variety and excellent order of the plants of their Physick-garden, by them called Horto di Semplici. Neither will he receive less satisfaction from the curious and most dexterous dissections, performed by the artificial hand of the Anatomy Professor. Having made his abode here six months, may justly aspire to a degree of Doctor in Physic, which the fame of the place should persuade him to take here, being the Imperial University for Physic of all others in the world, and where Physicians do pass a very exact Scrutiny, and severe Test. Hence may Transport himself to Bolongne, and in three months' time add to his improvements, what is possible by the advantage of the Hospital, and the Professors. Last of all in imitation of the diligent Bee, sucking Honey out of all sweet Flowers, our Doctor must not neglect to extract something, that his knowledge did not partake of before, out of the Eminentest Practitioners at Rome, examine the chief Apothecaries Files, and still frequent those three renowned Hospitals of San Spirito in the Vatican, San Giovanni Laterano on the Mount Celio, and that of San Giacomo di Augusta in the Valley Martia, besides many others; as that of San Tomaso, San Ludovico, Santa Maria della Consolation, Sant' Antonio, Sant' Andrea, etc.  
§ As a Picture is raised to the highest point of admiration by the variety of excellent colours; so the Intellectuals of a Physician are incomparably adorned with the addition of those various accomplishments, his Travails through several Country's afford. Wherefore ought not to content himself, with the sole improvement of his profession, for so vast an expense, trouble, and passing through so many dangers, but like an expert Chemist, draw essences of all discourses, the ingenuity of those Travellers from other parts of the world do offer. There should not a particular thing of note in any City escape his view, especially at Rome, where six months is too small a space to examine all those Holy Relics, and antiquities, though employed to a full advantage, without losing a day. The same movement should also incite him to visit the renowned City of Naples, and take a Survey of the antiquities and wonders of Nature about Puzzuolo. Having thus in all particulars satisfied his curiosity, may consult about the most advantageous way homewards, which is to Embark in a Felouck to Legorn, to observe the excellent contrivance of this so famed Sea port; not omitting to admire enough that incomparable piece of Art of the four Slaves in Brass, that are placed at the Fountain near the inner mole. Hence may pass to Pisa to behold the Pendent Steeple, and thence to Lucca, where he cannot but estrange how so small a Commonwealth doth secure itself from the violation of so powerful Neighbours. Being returned the same way to Legorn, takes the opportunity of a Felouk to Genoa, thence by Land to Milan, where he must not forget to see the finest Hospital of the Universe, and the invincible Citadel, which the world hath so much discoursed of. Hence passes the Alps and that stupendious Mount St. Godart to Altorf and Lucern, both Popish Cantons, and thence to Bazil the chief of the Protestant Cantons, resolving not to leave this City without admiring the great Masterpiece of Holbeens' Dance of the Dead. Here he is to purchase a Boat for two Crowns to carry him down the River Rhine to Strasburg, where being arrived, gives the Boat to him that guided it thither for his pains; besides the handsomeness of this old City, that inimitable piece of Clockwork in the great Church, and the height and artifice of the Steeple; there is little else worth your note, except a Monastery, where you may taste Wine of a hundred and fourscore, and another sort of two hundred years old, contained in Hogsheads, that for the truth of the business, have the Magistrates Seal upon them. Hence by Boat or Coach passes to Heydelberg, the chief Residence of the Prince Elector Palatin, for his great wisdom, prudence, and conduct the most admired by the whole Empire; neither is it without reason, that so many are by their curiosity conducted hither, to observe the splendour, government, and wonderful order of this Court; and to please themselves with the sight of his Highness' Guards of Cavalry, who have the repute for the best managers of Horses, and the best Disciplined in their Arms beyond any in France; And his Guards of Blue Coats far to outdo the Low-country Soldiers in their Exercises. The English Gentlemen owe the greatest honour to this Prince, for that honourable and particular reception they have in his Court. The Castle for its situation and Structure merits your view, whence you are not like to return, without having tasted of the Liquor, that's drawn out of the great Tun of Heydelberg. Hence by Boat descends the Necker to Manheim, a very complete little Town, and thence down the Rhine to Worms, the ancientest City of the Empire, and so to Mentz, the Staple for all Rhenish Wines, where the Inhabitants will tell you of a Perpetuum Mobile, a Clock that went exact for seven years together, without being wound or drawn up, which by the Death of the Inventor is left unrepaired. Thence to Bachrach, a Garrison Town rendering obedience to the Prince Palatin, and noted for the production of those small Rhenish Wines, which being exalted with an Artificial flavour, (as the vulgar improperly calleth it,) please our English palates, beyond the other sorts, though the least in esteem among the Germans and other exact discerners, because they are fired Wines, (as they term 'em) that is, not being endowed with a sufficient quantity of Spirits, and strength, to put themselves into a Natural fret, (as all other Wines do) are forced into one by kindling a fire round the Vessels that contain them, whereby also are rendered subject to be palled in a short time. Rinckhow, Oppenheym, Mosel, Necker, Franckoner, Stinkerd, Bleykerd, and Hochmer Wines, in taste and wholsomness excel all others, and are called Rhenish Wines, not from their growth upon the Borders of the Rhine, but from their Transportation down that River. Cobelents, Andernach, and Collen are the next Towns. Thence by Land to Brussel, Gaunt, Ostend, Nieuport, Dunkirk, Gravelin, and Calis, and thence to the place his inclinations for his future settlement may praefer; where by his vast experience and knowledge being rendered conspicuous in the secure and certain method of his Cures, will soon give occasion to the vulgar, to discern the difference between him & the ordinary Churchyard Physicians, who by their sordid deports, and dangerous practice, make it their business to ease the blind people of the weight in their Pockets, and plunge 'em into worse Diseases; and therefore of all Cities none can esteem itself more happy than this of London, for being graced with so great a number of accomplished Physicians, many of whom have contributed their parts to the repute and fame of their Country, by their accurate and learned Pens, so much admired by other Nations, and their Writings honoured by frequent impressions. It is the singular respect and esteem I ever had for them, that at present hath animated me to render the vulgar sensible of the excellency of their accomplishments, to whom they one a particular honour for their readiness, in employing what their great Expenses, Travails, and indefatigable Study have gained, in the assistance and relief of their languishing Bodies against Death and its causes. Neither is it that only should give them so great a share in your opinions, but the splendour and eminency their Art and Profession is invested with, since Princes can for a time wave the important affairs of their Throne, to admire the least part of it, in beholding the wonders of Nature-in Spagyrical preparations and Chemical transmutations; And what is more! Since the great King of Heaven and Earth, Christ, to promote his glory and honour, assumed the Profession of a Physician, in curing Lunatics, Blind, Lame, and all other Diseases: Wherefore if hence only the descent of the Nobility of the Art of Physic be derived, it's an invincible argument, that none should dare to assume it, but persons signally qualified, inferring it to be no less sin, than a great crime in those Empirics and Apothecaries, that praesume & encroach upon it, to the hazard of people's lives, and guilt of the punishment, the Law of God and Man imposes upon wilful Murder. But than should all those that have too early been abandoned to their Graves, return to demand justice for the poisonous Pills and infected Potions, what would the survivers in case of a Colic do for such, as Secundum Artem should handle the Glyster-pipe? And should they in earnest for this be summoned before a Bar, they would wittily plead, there can be no Murder without a premeditated malice, which though their Pills were guilty of, their intention was sincere, and therefore the indictment lieth only against the Pill, and not the Practising Apothecary; so that only he may kill by Law.  
My scope hitherto hath directed me to undeceive the Hoodwinked vulgar; which so far I have performed, as the Theory of Churchyard Physicians tends to, in their gross and groundless conjectures at their Diseases, wherein a mistake threats no less danger than a Pilot is apprehensive of upon an erroneous discovery of his port, in which case he may easier escape perishing upon a Rock or Shelve, than a Patient upon a conjectural error of his Doctor, and I must tell you, that it is in no wise rare, if his compass of conjecture exposed to your reading fol. 7. misleads him eleven times in twelve, being far easier to guests at a cast of a die, where you have only five to one odds. And as for the Practising Apothecary, that lump of confident ignorance, who followeth only the shadow of Physicians, if his gaping conjecture hits but one distemper in twenty, swells in his own conceit, though he sends the remaining nineteen with a Letter to St. Peter. Can you but admire with me here at the wisdom of Nature, refusing to repose that secret treasure of knowledge in such hollow Skulls. But if you could engage yourself to an intent mind, to observe with what prudence and discretion, the Accomplished Physician applies his profound remarks of Anatomy, and Diagnostic or discerning Rules of Physic, to the infallible discovery of your Diseases, you will with me conclude the Grounds, Rules, and Maxims of the Art of Physic to be most certain, evident, and demonstrable, beyond the least suspicion of a conjecture in it, and withal attribute to it an eminency above all Arts and Sciences, whose subject is locked up from our external senses, as the internal constitution of the Body of man is.  
§ By the thread of my discourse I am now arrived, to display the practical errors, which do more immediately Operate for the benefit of the Clerk and the Grave-maker. It's an ill fate you will say, that attends a man, when he is surprised with a Disease, whose dangerous Symptoms look grinning and daring upon the Hackney Physician, and he standing amazed, and pusillanimous, forsakes Nature in her encounter with the Distemper, where for want of a seasonable relief, is compelled to yield. This was the case, lately a Country Gentleman was unfortunate in, who being strong and Plethoric, by riding Post happened to melt the grosser part of his humours, which through obstructing the Nerves that move the Tongue, suddenly deprived him of his Speech, (a Symptom called an Aphonia) and proving an extreme amazement to a Vulgar Physician, who not being sufficiently qualified in experience, gave his Opinion, it was a Surfeit, which was only to be committed to nature; But the next morning being ushered in with an universal deprivement of all his senses and motion, termed a Catalepsis, spurred his Friends to implore the aid of another, who at first sight readily discovering the Disease (which his experience confirmed to him, had few Ounces of Blood been extracted but one day before out of the Jugulars, would certainly have been removed) told them, the error of omission could in no manner be rectified, since death in few hours would be ready to take possession.  
§ This preceding error relating to a Disease less frequent, doth not occasion so many deplorable effects, as those that are committed in Distempers, that are more ordinary, as continual Fevers, which are oft engendered by a Surfeit, an ancient Norman word, signifying an overdoing; but particularly implying an over-eating, or over-drinking. This gluttonous English Distemper I look upon, to import a greater danger, for being so ill handled by the Hackney Physician, who besides bleeding, omitting to Purge the Bowels and Glanduls about the Guts, of those malignant excrementicious humours, their continual cramming engenders, causes that ebullition of the Blood (which in the beginning was moderate) to exaestuate and fret to that degree of malignity, which through that error praecipitates thousands every year to their Tombs. These humours that thus lurk about the Guts, and kindle so malignant a heat, are not capable of being concocted, for they are essentially against Nature, and already separated, and therefore ought especially in the beginning, to be evacuated by such Purgers, as are least inflaming, and least disturb the Blood, whereby they may certainly, if making choice of a cooling Purgative, prevent a malignity in bodies that are so crammed. Neither can this be performed by Glisters, since their force is limited by the Valve of the Colon. And yet greater may the error be adjudged, when upon neglect of a suitable Purge, sweeting and drying Powders are prescribed, which force and disperse those malignant and dormant excrements into the Vessels, and worst of all is the error, when those poisonous Vesicatories are applied, to attract malignant Excrements from the centre into the Arteries, that escaped the force of the sudorific Powders. Have I not been an eye-witness, that a Patient in the declination of his Fever, and in a mending condition, had a Vesicatory applied to the Nape of the Neck, by the impertinent advice of a Churchyard Physician, which some few hours after, rendered him Frantic, and not long after Speechless. Brevity obliges me to omit many instances of accidents, and of death itself, occasioned by those venomous Spanish flies. Neither can I forget how four Hackney Physicians lately consulted in a slight distemper of a Tradesman, whose complaint was a difficulty of Urinal and a Vomiting, accompanied with a small heat; this at the beginning was taken for a malignant Fever, and for Cure bleeding and sweeting was advised, by which latter his Urinal was totally suppressed, through depriving the Blood of its Serum; the Vomiting increased, and the heat in effect turned into a malignant Fever, with an appearance of red Spots, and at that very instant gave direction for Bleeding, the bad effect whereof was soon discovered by his untimely death. To show the error of this course, I need only say, I have seen this very Distemper ten and ten times removed at the beginning, with one dose or two at most of Salt of Vitriol.  
§ How Bleeding, that noble and great Remedy, is abused by our Hackneys, is taken notice of even by the Vulgar, whose experience (for reason in Physic they do not praetend to) tells them, it's death in the Measles and Small Pox in our Climate, especially to great persons.  
persons It's a pleasant speculation for those that know better, to observe the practice of the Hackneys in the Country, how they Vomit their Patients with Crocus, and scour them with jalap, drench 'em with Water-cresses and Brook lime, and feed 'em with Nettle Pottage to the crop, terming all Diseases, except Fevers and Agues, the Scurvy.  
§ But let me not be deficient in mentioning our Groping Doctors, who praetend it's difficult to discern a Disease in a man without groping his Sides, and 's Belly; and impossible to discover the fits in a Woman without feeling, much less to Cure her; Whick knack is taught 'em by the Physicians of Paris.  
§ And was it not a Skilful praescription of a Country Doctor, who was sent for forty miles off, to consult with one of the eminentest Physicians of London, to prescribe three Drams of Laudanum opiatum, for one Dose, in the absence of the other, who fortunately giving the Patient a visit before the Bill was carried to the Apothecary, modestly to cover the shame of the former, (who was far sent for, and like to have been dear bought,) slipped the Bill into his Pocket, and left another in stead, directing only a just Dose of three Grains, which having for that night eased the patient of his pains by a moderate slumber, and not answered the expectation of the Countryman in a deeper sleep; he next morning did not fail giving the Apothecary a check for not obeying his orders, and therefore commanded him home, to make up a Dose of one Dram and thirty Grains, which was but the half of what he used to ordain for his Patients in the Country; but the honest Apothecary had more wit, than to be one of his accessaries, well knowing, such a quantity was enough to cast him and six more into a dead sleep; nothing ever wrought so much upon my curiosity, as to be informed, what number the Burials of March and April amount to in the Parish, where this famous Church-yard-man keeps his residence.  
§ This ungrateful task doth more tyre me, than had I employed six times the Paper in recording the excellent methods the Accomplished Physicians prescribe to their Patients, how expertly they take their advantage of the Disease at certain times and seasons, in giving Medicines to conquer it, when the Patient is strongest, and the Disease weakest; How they accommodate to every particular Distemper, Constitution, Age, and Sex, a particular Remedy; alter, increase, and lessen it according to every emergent occasion; how they praeinform the Patient of every critical and counter natural change, of every danger and of every step the Disease makes, following its tract to the very innermost part of the Body, and never cease pursuing, till they have rescued their Patients from all assaults and dangers of their intestine enemy.  
§ It's time I should pass to the second part of my discourse, where I meet with a subject, which I can entitle nothing but the 〈◊〉 and froth of Physic, a term the Practising Apothecary will not judge misapplyed, since it's that he offers his Patient in exchange for good metal. But I shall forego my aim, if I proceed on my way, without first halting a little at the Original of the word and meaning of Apothecary, which from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 & 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 a Box, denotes it to be a word, imposed anciently upon Druggist's, whose multitude of Boxes placed in order in their Shops, and containing all sorts of Drugs, gave occasion to that denomination, and for that reason is improperly transferred upon such, whose office is only conversant about praeparing of Drugs and Simples, thence more appositely termed Pharmacopaei, or Makers up of Medicines, and Pharmacopolae, or Sellers of praepared Medicines, whom in their late budding and growth some very accomplished persons have looked upon as poisonous Weeds, started up to choke the sweet Flower of their Practice, and consequently so planted into Families, as not easily to be rooted out by their Manifesto's, requiring for their further illustration a brief deduction of their first rise, and upon what score those Makers up of Medicines were assumed into the drudgery of Physic.  
§ You must note Physic to have had the same beginning with all other vast Arts and Sciences, from confused notions and experiments, which upon their more certain confirmation, were thought fit to be recorded in the Temple of Apollo, whither people in case of sickness took their recourse, to make choice of what came nearest to their purpose, but missing of that, necessity obliged them to expose their sick before their houses, to move those that passed by, if any of 'em had been troubled with the same Distemper, to divulge their Remedies, which afterwards were to be added to the forementioned Records. Time having collected a multiplicity of all sorts of Medicines, invited a great number of Philosophers to that Temple, whose eminent parts did enable them, to make better use of those observations than the Vulgar, and by degrees digest them into order, and thence framing general rules, soon acquired a habit of knowing and curing most Diseases, which gave occasion to the people, to make use of 'em as Physicians; and such were Pythagoras, Empedocles, and Democritus, which latter had the honour of being Master to Hypocrates, a Disciple who afterwards proved the greatest and only Master in Physic, of all those that had gone before him, or since to this day have come after him. The method then in use to train up youth to this Profession, was, to place them Apprentices with able Physicians, who adjudged it necessary, to take their beginning from Chirurgery, the subject whereof being external Diseases, as Wounds, Swellings, Members out of Joint, and others that were visible, proved more facile and easy to their immature capacities, and wherein they might suddenly be rendered serviceable to their Masters, in easing them of the trouble of dressing, cleansing stinking Ulcers, and applying Ointments and Plasters, a nauseous employ, which they ever endeavoured to abandon to their Scholars with what expedition was possible. This as it was the easiest, so it was the first and ancientest part of Physic, and from which those that exercised it, were anciently not called Surgeons, but Physicians, though they attempted no other Diseases, but such as were external, according to which sense Aesculapius, the first Physician or Inventor of Physic, and his Sons Podalyrius & Machaon, are by History asserted, to have undertaken only those, that wanted external help, internal Diseases being in those days unknown, and by temperance in their diet wholly debarred; and if accidentally an internal Distemper did surprise them, they applied a general Remedy (knowing no other) of poisoning or killing themselves with a Dagger or Sword, thereby choosing rather to die once and finish their misery, than to survive to be objects of people's pity, or to endure the shock of death by every pain or languor, especially since the sage judgements of that age, did esteem it a signal virtue, to despise and scorn the vain world, by hurrying out of it in a fury, a Maxim most of the Philosophers were very eminent in observing; and was likewise extended to Children, that brought any Diseases, external or internal, with them into the world, their cure being performed immediately, by strangling or drowning them. Neither was this Art of external Physic of a short continuance; Pliny writing, that six hundred years after the building of Rome, the Romans entertained Chyrurgical Physicians from Peloponesus. Idleness and gluttony at length exchanged their ease into a Disease, which soon put them upon necessity of experimenting such Remedies, as might re-establish them into that healthful condition, exercise in War and temperance in Diet had for so many ages praeserved their Ancestors in.  
§ Upon a competent improvement of their Scholars in this external practice of Physic, and their deserving deportment, they thought them worthy of giving them entrance into their Closet, to be instructed in such matters, as the most retired places of their Cabinets contained, which were their Remedies and Medicines, and the manner of praeparing them. A jealous lover could not contrive the sole impropriation of his beautiful Mistress with greater study, than they the sole possession of their Medicines, these through their commonness losing as much of their value and esteem, as the other by being known to more than one. Pachius a Roman Physician of great fame in the Reign of Tiberius, (as Scribonius largus libr. de Compos Med. Cap. 23. writeth,) made great gains of his Medicine, named by himself Hiera. Pach. for its frequent successes in the most difficult Diseases, but he whilst he lived, would not impart the composition to any. But after his death he bequeathed it to Tiberius Caesar in a Book written to him, which before could not be drawn from him upon any score, though all means were used to know what it was, for he did praepare it, when he had locked himself up, and would not commit it to any of his Servants, for he would cause many more things to be beaten than it contained, purposely to deceive his people. Here is to be observed, that for its great effects he imposed the name of Hiera upon it, or the Holy Medicine, which being once made public, and the ingredients known, was deserted naked of its virtues, ceasing to perform those wonderful Cures, which whilst it was by the Inventor reserved secret it did; as if the Divine Power finding itself abused in its bounty, of having bestowed a secret Treasure on a Physician, did withdraw itself, upon the contempt of imparting it to the Vulgar. For, that God is the first and chief Physician, hath been the constant faith of all Ages, and that Physicians were the Sons of the Gods, was commendably asserted by Galen, and therefore it was truly spoken, that Medicines were the hand of God, thence meriting only such names, as related to their Divine Original; thus a certain Antidote was called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 equal to God, another 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 given by God, another Divine; several compositions had the inscription of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉, or Sacred.  
§ Upon this so true and undoubted a consideration, I need not pry for a cause of those frequent and ever constant unfortunate events, that accompany the Medicines of most of our Practising Apothecaries, unless as they seem to own, the Triunal Deity should now neglect to punish with shame and disaster, such as with polluted hands do offer to defile those Sacred means, which it hath intended for its glory, the contrary whereof is sufficiently attested by him in the Strand, who with three doses of Mercurius Dulcis, given against the Worms to three Children, did the same day worm 'em all out of their lives: And by him in the— who upon the exhibition of twenty Grains of Extractum Rudij, sent a Gentleman a hundred and nineteen times to his Close Stool, and the next day to his perpetual Mansion; but I am confident, without any premeditated malice, since he was extremely surprised, that so small and unproportionate a dose should prove so cruel to his Customers Guts, not having the grace to call to mind, it was the abuse of that excellent Medicine, in misapplying it to the Disease. A farther testimony was given by another in the Old Bailie, praesenting his Customer (or Patient as they use to term him, for this intruth was one) with a Collyrium, or Eye-water, to eat away a Pearl in his Eye, which through its gnawing quality occasioning a great pain, did attract such a quantity of humours, as caused a perfect Suffusion, and an incurable blindness in both Eyes, an application that could not promise better success, upon the neglect of Bleeding and Purging, both implying a necessity of being praemised before the use of any painful Medicine, to drain the body of those humours, which otherwise the smart and pain would attract to the part affected. The error was of no less importance, when in a great looseness or Diarrhaea, an Apothecary with Crocus Martis and Opium suddenly putting a stop to the Flux, impelled the Chanal of those hot impetuous humours into the Veins and Arteries, where by moving the Blood into a Tempest, occasioned a mortal malignant Fever in one of his chief Customers. And at this present day nothing is more capable of fermenting the Choler of a certain wealthy Merchant, than the name of an Apothecary, a practical one having by impertinent repetitions persuaded him, his wife upon the swelling and pitying of her Legs, (a symptom common to Women with Child) and the swelling of her Belly, was certainly Dropsical, which as it was occasioned by a stoppage only particular to Women, was only to be remedied by removing it, and opening the passages; and to that purpose did four times a day ply her with his Electuarium e tribus, as he called it, which was Powder of Steel, Antimony Diaphor. and barren Savin powdered, all mixed with Honey into an Electuary, the force whereof did in a few days answer his intention of opening the passages, and expelling an Embryon, or a perfect Conception, upon which the Purgamenta were driven down with so rapid a violence, that the Matrix was left dry, exanguious, thick, and corrugated, without the least hopes of ever Conceiving again; you may conjecture, what an insupportable grief this moved in one, who setting aside the confluence of all external circumstances fortune had heaped upon him, could have nothing more contributed to his entire felicity in a most beautiful Lady, and her amiable deports, than the addition of issue, of which until then the space of six years had not given the least appearance. Fatal likewise was the miscarriage of a Scrivener, who being discommoded by a very acute pain and inflammation in his Ear, applied a repellent Medicine of Rags dipped in Aq. Sperm. run. and Ol. Ros. advised to him by a Practical man, which forcing the Inflammation to the Brain, immediately occasioned a Frenzy, and not long after a Corpse. These few Tragical Narratives selected out of a hundred or more, I have here exposed to your view, which may suffice for the representation of their dangerous practice; How ineffectual, costly, and defrauding their general practice is, I shall in its proper Paragraph give you a breviate of.  
§ Time persuades my return to the place whence I deviated, to continuate the ancient manner of educating a young Physician, who though rendered serviceable to his Master, having acquired the knowledge of his Medicines and their preparations, yet remained as little capable of using them, as the Instrument-Smith a Razor, or Lancet; and therefore bended his endeavours to arrive to the Art of discerning every Disease by its signs, and making observations upon the Prognostics, all critical and preternatural changes, the Dose, Constitution, and all other circumstances of giving those Medicines, which he did gradually accomplish by his sedulous attendance on his Master, and his practical Discourses and Lectures from him on every Patient he visited. Lastly, upon his attainment to a degree of perfection in the Art, discovered to his Master by his private examination, all the Physicians and Commonalty of the place were summoned to be present at the taking of his Oath in the public Physic School, which served in lieu of making him free to Practice, or taking of his degree. The Oath was as followeth.  

I Swear by 
a An Egyptian, and the first Inventor of Physic.  Apollo the Physician and 
b The Son of Apollo begotten upon Coronis the daughter of Phlegia.  Aesculapius, and by 
c The two eldest daughters of Aesculapius.  Hygea, and 
d The two eldest daughters of Aesculapius.  Panacea, and I do call to witness all the Gods, and likewise all the Goddesses, that according to my power and judgement I will entirely keep this Oath and this Covenant. That I will esteem my Master that taught me this Art instead of my Parents, give him his Diet, and with a thankful Spirit impart to him whatever he wants; and those that are born of him, I will esteem them as my male Brethren, and teach them this Art if they will learn it without hire or agreement. I will make partakers of the teaching, hearing, and of all the whole Discipline my own and my Master's Sons, and the rest of the Disciples, if they were bound before by Writing, and were obliged by the Physician's Oath, no others besides. I will according to my capacity and judgement, prescribe a manner of Diet suitable to the Sick, free from all hurt and injury. Neither will I through any body's intercession offer Poison to any, neither will I give counsel for any such thing. Neither will I give a Woman a pessary to destroy her Conception. Moreover I will exercise my Art, and lead the rest of my life chastely and holily. Neither will I cut those that are troubled with the Stone, but give them over to Artists, that profess this Art. And whatever houses I shall come into, I will enter for the benefit of the Sick; and I will abstain from doing any voluntary injury, from all corruption, and chiefly from that which is Venereal, whether I should happen to have in Cure the Bodies either of Women, or of Men, or of Freeborn men, or Servants. And whatever I should chance to see or hear in Curing, or to know in the common life of men, if it be better not to utter it, I will conceal, and keep by me as secrets. That as I entirely keep, and do not confound this Oath, it may happen to me to enjoy my Life and my Art happily, and celebrate my glory among all men to all perpetuity; but if transgressing and forswearing, that the contrary may happen.   
happen Between these bounds of secrecy, veneration, honesty, and gratitude the Art was for many hundred years maintained; for in the time of Galen, and many Ages after him, Medicines for their greater secrecy were used to be praepared, and composed by Physicians, as you may read libr. de virt. Centaur. where it's observable, their men were wont to carry their Physic ready praepared in Boxes after them, which they themselves according to the exigency of the case did dispense. This custom was continued, until Wars ceasing, people began to be as intent upon the propagation of mankind, as the cruelty of the former Martial ages had been upon its destruction, whence the world growing numerous, and through idleness, and want of those diversions of their Military Employ, addicting themselves to Gluttony, Drunkenness, and Whoredom, did contract so great a number of all inward Diseases, that their multiplicity imposed a necessity upon Physicians, (being unable to attend them all as formerly) to dismember their Art into three parts, whereof two were servile, namely Chirurgery, and Pharmacy, and the other Imperial and Applicative, or Methodical. The servile parts being committed to such as are now called Surgeons and Apothecaries, the former were employed in applying external Medicines to external Diseases; the latter in praeparing all ordinary internal and external Medicines, according to the exactest praescription and direction of the Physicians, whose Servants were ordered to fetch the praescribed Medicines at the Apothecaries, and thence to convey them to their Patients, by which means the Apothecary was kept in ignorance, as to the application and use of the said Medicines, not being suffered to be acquainted with the Patients, or their Diseases, to prevent their insinuations into their acquaintance, which otherwise might endanger the diverting their said Patients to other Physicians, or at least their praesuming themselves to venture at their Distempers. Neither were the Physicians Servants in the least probability of undermining or imitating their Masters in their practice, not knowing the Medicines or Prescriptions. Besides all this, those Remedies, from which the chief efficacy and operation against the Disease was expected, still remained secret with the Physicians, who thought it no trouble to praepare them with their own hands. Thus you may remark, the Physicians necessary jealousy of their underlings, and their small pains, proved the sole means of impropriating the practice of their Art to themselves, and yet by the advantage of their Apothecaries and Surgeons, were capacitated to visit and cure ten times greater number of Sick than before, which in a short time improved their fame & estate to a vast treasure; whence it was well rhymed, Dat Galenus opes, that justinianus honores. But at length their honour & vast riches in the eye of Apothecaries and Surgeons, proved seeds sown in their minds, that budded into ambition of becoming Masters, and into covetousness of aequaling them in wealth, both which they thought themselves capable of aspiring to, by an empirical skill, the neglect and sloth of their Masters had given them occasion to attain, since they did begin not to scruple, to make them Porters of their Medicines to their Patients, and to intrust them with the praeparation of their greatest secrets. This trust they soon betrayed, for having insinuated into a familiar acquaintance with their Master's Patients, it was a task in no wise difficult to persuade them, that those that had made, and dispensed the Medicines, were as able to apply 'em to the like Distempers, as they that had prescribed them, who had either forgot, or were wholly ignorant how to praepare them; so that now they were as good as arrived to a copartnership with their Masters, in reputation and title, both being called Doctors alike, and there being no other difference between them; than that the Master Doctor, comes at the Heels of his Man Doctor, to take in hand the work which he or his Brother Doctor, (the Chirurgeon) had either spoiled, or could no further go on with it; this is even like Tom went to Market, and Tom met with Tom. A very fine case the Art of Physic and its Professors are reduced to; and that not only of late days, but of almost seven hundred years, for before that time Apothecaries had scarce a being, only there were those, whom they called Seplasiarij, from their selling of Ointments on the Market of Capua, named Seplasia; Aromatarij, and Speciarij, or such as sold Drugs and Spices. Though I must confess Apothecaries may offer a just objection, in praetending to a far greater antiquity, since the original and necessity of their employ was derived from the Egyptian Bird Isis, spouting Sea-water into its Breech for a clyster.  
§ As things in motion pass their seasons of growth, height, and declination, so the Art of Physic having passed the two former, is now in its declination exposed to be reduced to the extremest contempt, scorn, and almost a total abolishment by the praesumptuous arrogance of every one, who upon a long course of Physic to remedy his Infirmity, having gained a familiarity with the use and names of those numerous Medicines, advised to him by some Practical Apothecary, or Praescribing Chirurgeon, at his recovery concludes himself as capable of practising as either of them. Upon such an occasion as is here instanced, the Heelmaker, the Hatband-maker, the Gunsmith, that doting old piece in Southwark, the Woman at Hamstead, and many others fell to Quack, and to Practice, and by the addition of some small help of a book of Receipts, have advanced themselves in fame and credit, among our capricious Vulgar, beyond any of their Practical or Praescribing Masters. But all this notwithstanding, since the Art of Physic partakes in vicissitude with those things, that from the lowest ebb have flowed back to their greatest height, it's an argument she is not seated beyond the hope of being restored to her greatest lustre, and flourishing splendour, as formerly she was, when Physicians were courted and reverenced by multitudes of Sick, and attended with a train of their own Servants, their Apothecaries and Surgeons all diligently expecting their commands, to a tittle and every the least circumstance executing their duty, and concurring with the people, in calling them, for the wonders they did, Tutelar Gods. Whence I conclude the Trade of an Apothecary and the Vocation of a Chirurgeon to be of absolute necessity; for its impossible any Physician of moderate practice, can afford himself the time of visiting his Patients, (which in this City do oft happen to live dispersed, and very remote from one another,) and afterwards repair to his Study, and take their particular cases into a more deliberate and serious consideration, than the talking noise of Visiters, Nurse, and others about the Sick will permit; unless as too many are, he is accustomed to make use of the Empirics Conjecturing Compass, and so slubber over the Disease; not being sensible all this while, it is the life of a man hung to a thread, depends on his care, which by the least of his mistakes or neglects will certainly snap in pieces; whereby God is robbed of the Glory, which would have been due to him by his cure, the Prince deprived of one of his Subjects, it may be main a pillar of his Throne, Wife and Children by the loss of Husband and Father reduced to beggary, and possibly to Whoredom or Theft for a livelihood, Creditors are necessitated to a Bankrupt for the death of their Debtor; all which important and weighty consequences are to be placed to the account of Debet of the Physician. That besides these parts of his duty devouring a very great share of his time, there should be a remainder sufficient for him with his own hands to praepare all the Medicines, the Diseases of his Patients shall require, is not to be imagined; for supposing the number of his Patients not to exceed three or four, their Diseases in one or other to be complicated or double, as a Pleurisy complicated with any other inflammation, or obstruction of the Kidneys, Guts, Bladder, etc. Which former by its self presses for the praeparation of a Julep, a Linctius, a clyster or two, a Cordial, a Cataplasm, a Sudorific Antipleuritick, an Hypnotick, etc. In summa eight or ten tedious Medicines are to be made up in one day for one single Patient, it may be as many more for a second, third and fourth; so here are about forty Medicines to be praepared, carried away, and applied all in one afternoon, a task that more probably aught to employ three or four than one; But what if a Physician receives into cure thirty or forty, as in Spring and Fall many do, to expect from his hands the praeparation of the sixteenth part of the Medicines, were most absurd. So that necessarily from this self-praeparing of ordinary Remedies, would issue a neglect and omission of many requisite Medicines, and in want of some proper ones, the substituting of improper, and consequently this reformation must infer a greater number of inconveniences, than the present practice is subject to. Moreover that a Physician should consume the better part of his time in this so servile and drudging employ, were to slight the Imperial and Commanding part of Physic, to lose the honour and respect due to him from those his Underlings and others, and absolutely to turn a pure Empirick, by minding the praeparation and application of his Medicines more, than the Theoretic and Methodical Science of Physic; which ought to be praeserved and improved by his continuated Study, wherein he must now be exposed to a perpetual disturbance by the noise of the Mortar, and have his spirits dampt by the unpleasant steams of Glisters, Ointments, and Plasters, and necessitated to convert his house, which the honour of his Profession requires neat and splendid, into a Hogsty. How this greasy, stinking Glyster-Pipe and Plaister-Box Doctor can be endured in the presence of some delicate tendersented Ladies, that are his Patients, you may justly admire, when upon his feeling of their pulse with his unctuous fist, they shall apprehend themselves to stink of Threacle and Mithridate all the day after. But setting aside the forementioned reasons, and allowing the necessity and decency of reducing those two parts of praescribing and praeparing Medicines into one body again, the Physician having only the possession of the better part, must go backwards to learn the worse from the Druggist and Apothecary; to wit from the former, the knowledge, choice, and prices of all his Drugs, wherein he must run the hazard of being cheated by him, in buying Quid pro Quo, a rotten Drug for a sound one, and paying a double rate more than the value of the commodity, which may happen for three or four times at least, until he hath Purchased a competent craft for buying and selling. From the latter his quondam servant the Apothecary, he must be instructed in all the Artifices and dexterous ways of praeparing Simples, mixing and dispensing them into compositions, of dissolving Gums, expressing of Oils, and Juices, praeserving and candying of Flowers, Herbs, Stalks, and Rinds; powdering and rasping of Woods and Barks; rubbing the posteriora secundum artem for to apply Leeches, besides a hundred other particularities▪ knacks, and ornaments, as gilding of Electuaries, Bolusses, and Pills, and standing in a handsome decent posture at the Mortar, and with a Bonne grace to found a March, or Chime a Tune with the Pestle, as he is pulverising, thereby to awake people's drowsy eyes, and make 'em look up to see what Trade lives there; and lastly of tying up Gallipots and Viols, with old Taffeta, rangeing of 'em in order on the Stall, to give passers by a nota benè of the great Trading of that Shop; in fine, seven years is no more than a just space, to conquer the difficulties of their mysterious Trade, which not considering the loss of time, how much it may contribute to the further adornment of the Accomplished Physicians, I refer to better concocted Judgements.  
§ In the next place let's ponder, whether it consists with the Maxims of Policy to extirpate and subvert their Corporation, though supposing the better half of 'em to be such as I have termed Practical men, and to whose ill conduct in their practice the Bills of Mortality may owe the greater half of the number of Burials. At present the Country being so much depopulated by Plague and Wars, the supposition may merit some consideration, however the advantages their continuance imports to the public seem to overbalance the Scales. 1. The number of their Trade aequaling, if not exceeding any other, implies so many Families, whose necessities of Victuals and Clothes occasion a considerable Trade. 2. Druggist's, Chemists, Merchants of Drugs, Seamen that Transport the Drugs, Seedsmen, Herbwomen, gardiner's, Labourers, and many others having so great a dependence on Apothecaries, would all by their extirpation sustain a damage of that importance, as should disenable them of contributing so considerably to the common Trade of necessaries, as such a vast number of Families require. 3. By the ruin of all those Trades and Families, it's certain the King would take a share in the damage, losing so valuable a Custom as that of Drugs, and in time of War, and other occasions, by the impair of his Subsidies and Taxes, which the consequence of so great a proportion of Subjects ruinated in their Vocation must necessarily produce. 4. Churches have been laid even with their foundation by the late dreadful Fire, and therefore through the zeal of our times it's ordained, they shall be again raised to their former structure by a Revenue from the Fire, coals; but this sufficeing only for the outside, the inside, as Pews, Benches, and Pulpits, is to be built by the product of purchases of Graves, which if Apothecary's be suppressed, and practice wholly left to Physicians, will come in but slow, and therefore for the quickening of that great work, they ought to be encouraged. 5. The antiquity of this so necessary Trade compraehending some hundreds of years, pleads strongly for the right of their continuance. 6. Humane policy cannot conceal its jealousy in a point so essential as the life of man, and therefore it's but just, it should require some small counterpoise, to balance and justify the actions of Physicians, when quaestioned in the death of any, which the Apothecary is ever ready to do, by showing the prescriptions, and averring the excellency of the Medicines. Moreover Physicians are mortal men, and may (and oft have) in a debauched humour prescribe improper Medicines, and most improportionate Doses, which an Apothecary by the experience of his Trade may discover, and repair for a rectification to the Physician next morning, when the cloud is over with him. And what is yet more, the Apothecary may inform the Physician, though praescribing according to the exactest rules of Art, the Dose of his praescription to be too large for the particular constitution of a Patient, which his former experience of him confirms, that the sixteenth part of it will work most strongly with him; and I must tell you, some lives have been saved by these kind of admonitions, and yet no dishonour to the Physician. The only objection against the inference of these politic reasons, is deduced from the authority of Plato, asserting that it is a sign of an ill governed Commonwealth, where there are a great number of Physicians.  
§ To rommage into the very bottom of this controversy, let's suppose the praemisses insufficient for an inference, and inquire whether it were possible, to give them a lift out of their Quacking, or rather out of their honester Calling of praeparing Medicines. I say no, for considering their great number, wherein they exceed Physicians; their being more popular among the Vulgar than they; the daily obligation they impose upon most Trades, by buying their necessaries of them, or otherways employing them, all whom the duty of retaliation and gratitude persuades to make use of Apothecaries in their way; the multitude of their Relations and Kindred, that out of impulse of nature, more than reason, will endeavour to promote their interest; it's an argument to convince me, that the Physicians addresses to the Vulgar by their manifestos, will prove insignificant, well knowing that Judges so ignorant as they, will rather incline to the ignorant party; and therefore to prevent their putting on Plush Jackets, to appear as like Physicians, as the Monkey did a Lawyer, when he had gots Masters Cap on, and so to Quack openly, it will prove of greater concern to reduce them to their duty, by the course I shall describe anon, than to labour their suppression in vain.  
§ Hitherto I have entertained my Reader with a discourse of the whole intrigue in the Trade of Apothecaries, my own curiosity I will praefer next, in amusing at the grounds and reasons, why Apothecaries in most Kingdoms do generally Quack and Emulate Physicians in their practice, rather than subject themselves to the just Laws of Physic, which in most Commonwealths they are the most inviolable observers of. It is not the Witchcraft of money or promises, can prevail with an Apothecary in Flanders, Holland, or any of the Imperial Cities of Germany, to hazard his reputation, or disturb his Conscience, by giving to any the most harmless of Purges, without a Bill from a lawful Physician; whereas in France scarce any Apothecary but will praesume to advise Glisters, purging potions, and Ptisan, which latter he hath always ready, and sells it by the quart. The cause of this difference is to be discovered in the people, the Apothecaries, and the Physicians. The Commonalty in a Commonwealth are universally more industrious, saving, and thrifty, giving an undeniable reason for it, that they are obliged so to be, to provide for sickness and poverty; at which time namely of sickness, the meanest Tradesman or Labourer is as willing to show his gratitude to the Physician, for the preservation of his life (which he puts a greater value upon, than to intrust with an Apothecary) as the best of the Magistrates. On the other hand in a Kingdom the popularity is more profuse and Prodigal, by reason there being a great concourse of people and principally of Nobility and Gentry of great Estates, occasioning an universal Trade, extended to the meanest, makes money easier to come by; whence the Vulgar spending it as easy, in case of sickness, find themselves destitute of a capacity to satisfy a Physician honourably, and therefore are forced to apply themselves to Empirics, or Practising Apothecaries, where they may have advice and Physic at the same charge. The difference between the Physician of a Kingdom, and a Commonwealth, is, that the former respecting the support of his honour and ease, judges his merits by far to exceed the latter, who imagines himself well satisfied with the value of a shilling for each visit, and for that reason is upon the least occasion sent for; whence it happens, his visits sometimes are so multiplied, that I have known several to have made fourscore and a hundred visits a day.  
§ Once more I must disgust your palate, with the relation of the nauseous, ineffectual, and fraudulent practice of Apothecaries, who with their ends of Latin, choking terms, and stifling phrases, strive to confound and amaze the simple vulgar. If you are not too melancholy, you may smile at this Story, a Practical Apothecary coming to see his Customer, a Cobbler, that lay indisposed of a Colic, observed him to crack a fart, (for so it is expressed in the Original,) upon which saith the Apothecary, Sir, that's nothing but the Tonitruation of flatuosities in your Intestines; this was no sooner out of his mouth, but the Cobbler cracked another, and replied to his Doctor, Sir that's nothing but your Hobgoblin notes thundering winds out of my Guts, which literal return of his terms of Art in plain English, though by chance, obliged the Apothecary to this expression, I beg you pardon Sir, I suppose you have studied the Art of Physic, as well as myself, and want not my help; and so away went Don jeronimo di Capo di 'Bove. After this give me leave to be serious, in examining their general practice in all Diseases. Suppose yourself to be troubled with any Distemper, it matters not which, for all is one to him you are to send to; upon his arrival he feels your Pulse, and with a fixed eye on your countenance, tells you, your spirits are low, and therefore it's high time for a Cordial; the next interrogatory he puts gravely to you is, when was you at Stool Sir? If not to day, he promises to send you a Laxative clyster by and by; and if you complain you have a Looseness, than instead of one Laxative, he will send you two healing Glisters. If besides you intimate a pain in your Stomach, Back and Sides, then responding to each pain you shall have a Stomach Plaster, another for the right side, a third for the left, and a fourth for the Back; and so you are like to be well patched, and fortified round your middle. Now before we go farther, let's compute the charge of this first day. Here is a Cordial composed by the direction of some old dusty Bill on his File, out of two or three musty Waters, (especially if it be towards the latter end of the year, and that his Glasses have been stopped with corks) viz. It may be a Citron, a borage, and a Baum Water, all very full of Spirits; if River Water may be so accounted; to these is to be added one Ounce of that miraculous Threacle Water, then to be dissolved a Dram of Confectio Alkermes, and one Ounce of nauseous Syrup of Gillyflowers; this being well shaked in the Viol, you shall spy a great quantity of Gold swimming in leaves up and down, for which your Conscience would be burdened, should you give him less than five shillings; for from the meanest Tradesman he expects without the least abatement, three and six pence, the ordinary and general price of all Cordials, though consisting only of two Ounces of Baume Water, and half an Ounce of Syrup of Gillyflowers. Your clyster shall be praepared out of two or three handfuls of Mallow leaves, and one Ounce of common Fennil seeds, boiled in water to a pint, which strained shall be thickened with the Common Electuary Lenitive, Rape Oil and Brown Sugar, and so seasoned with Salt. This shall be conveyed into your Guts by the young Doctor his man, through an engine he carries commonly about him, and makes him smell so wholesome, for which piece of service, if you present your Engeneer below half a Crown, he will think himself worse dealt with than those, who empty your necessary Closets in the night. The Master places to account for the Gut-Medicine, (though it were no more than water and salt,) and for the use of his man, which he calls Porteridge, eight Groats; Item, for a Stomachick, Hepatick, Splenetic, and a Nephritick Plaster, for each half a Crown. What the total of this day's Physic amounts to, you may reckon. The next afternoon or evening, returns the Apothecary himself, to give you a visit, (for should he appear in the morning, it would argue he had little to do,) and finding upon examination, you are rather worse than better, by reason those Plasters caused a melting of the gross humours about the Bowels, and dissolved them into winds and vapours, which fuming to the head, occasion a great Headache, dulness and drowsiness, and part of 'em being dispersed through the Guts and Belly discommode you with a Colic, a swelling of your Belly, and an universal pain or lassitude in all your Limbs; thus you see, one day makes work for another; however he hath the wit to assure you, they are signs of the Operation of yesterday mean, beginning to move and dissolve the humours, which successful work is to be promoted by a Cordial Apozem, the repetition of a Carminative clyster, another Cordial to take by Spoonfuls, and because your sleep hath been interrupted by the unquietness of swelling humours, he will endeavour to procure you for this next night a Truce with your Disease, by an Hypnotick potion, that shall occasion rest. Neither will he give you other cause than to imagine him a most careful man, and so circumspect, that scarce a Symptom shall escape his particular regard, and therefore to remove your Headache by retracting the humours▪ or rather as you are like to discern best by attracting humours and vapours, he will order his young Mercury to apply a Vesicatory to the nape of your Neck, and with a warm hand to besmear your Belly and all your Joints, with a good comfortable Ointment, for to appease your pains The Cordial Apozem is a Decoction, that shall derive its virtue from two or three unsavoury Roots, as many Herbs and Seeds, with a little Syrup of Gillyflowers, for three or four times taking, which because you shall not undervalue by having it brought to you all in one Glass, you shall have it sent you in so many Viols & Draughts, & for every one of 'em shall be placed three shillings to your account, which is five parts more than the whcle stands him in; for the Cordial potion as much, for the Hypnotick potion the same price, for your Carminative clyster no less, and for the Epispastick Plaster a shilling. Thus with the increase of your Disease you may perceive the increase of your Bill, and therefore it's no improper observation, that the Apothecary's Practice follows the course of the Moon. The third day producing an addition of new Symptoms, and an augmentation of the old ones, the Patient stands in need of new comfort from his Apothecary, who tells him, that nature begins now to work more strong, and therefore all things goes well, (and never ill;) but because nature requires all possible assistance from Cordials and small evacuations, he must expect the same Cordials over again, but with the addition of greater ingredients, it may be Magistery of Pearl, or Oriental Bezoar in Powder, the former being oft times but Mother of Pearl dissolved in distilled Vinegar, the latter a cheat the Armenians put upon the Christians, by ramming Pebbles down a Goat's throat, afterwards killing him, and extracting the stones before witness out of his Maw, which they sell for those rare Bezoars, whereof the quantity of fifteen Grains I have known, hath been taken by a Child of a year old, that lay ill of the Small Pox, without the least effect of sweat or any expulsion through the Pores. And besides the repetition of a clyster, and the renewing of your Plasters, for the profit of your Physician you must be persuaded, to accept of a comforting Electuary for the Stomach, to promote digestion; of a Collution to wash the slime and filth from your Tongue, and to secure your Gums from the Scurvy; of a Melilot Plaster to apply to the Blister was drawn, the night before; of some Spirits of Salt to drop into your Beer at Meals, of three Pills of Ruffi to be swallowed down that night, and three next morning, which possibly may pleasure you with three Stools; but are to be computed as 2 Doses, each at a Shilling; the Spirit of Salt a Crown the Ounce; for the Stomach Electuary as much, for the clyster as before; for your Cordial in relation to the Pearl and Bezoar, their weight in Gold, which is two pence a Grain, the greatest cheat of my whole discourse; for dressing of your Blister a shilling; for the Plaster as formerly. Here I praesume that candour in you, as not to believe me so disingenuous, as to take the advantage of Apothecaries, in producing any other than the best methods of their practice, and that which savours the least of their frauds, for in comparison with others, (though these are very palpable, in regard there is not a valuable consideration respected, or a proportionable Quid pro Quo,) they are such as may be judged passable, yet when you are to reflect upon the total, that shall arise out the Arithmetical progression of charge, of a fortnight's Physic, modestly computed at fifteen Shillings a day, without the inclusion of what you please to present him for his care, trouble, and attendance, I will not harbour so ill an opinion of him, or give so rigid a censure, as yourself shall upon the following Oration, your Glysterpipe-Doctor delivers to you with a Melancholy accent, in these terms; Sir, I have made use of my best Skill and Endeavours, I have been an Apothecary this twenty years and upwards, and have seen the best Practice of our best London Physicians, my Master was such a one, Mr.— one of the ablest Apothecaries of the City, I have given you the best Cordials that can be prescribed, 'tis at your instance I did it, I can do no more, and indeed it is more properly the work of a Physician, your case is dangerous, and I think if you sent for such a one, Dr— he is a very pretty man; if you please I will get him to come down. Now Sir, how beats your Pulse? the loss of the money your Bill imports, adds to your pains, through the remembrance it is due to one, that hath fooled you out of it, and deserved it no other way, than by adding wings to your gross humours, that before lay dormant, and now fly rampant up and down, raking and raging, which had you not been penny wise and pound foolish, you would have prevented, by sending for a Physician, who for the small merit of a City fee, (for which you might also have expected two visits) would have struck at the root of your Distemper, without tampering at its Symptoms, or Branches, and by virtue of one Medicine restored you to your former condition of health, from which you are now so remote; being necessitated, considering your doubtful state, to be at the charge of a Physician or two, to whom upon examination of what hath been done before, the Apothecary shall humbly declare, he hath given you nothing but Cordials, which word Cordial, he supposes to be a sufficient protection for this erroneous practice; and I must tell you, that had his cordial method been continued in a Fever, or any other acute Distemper, for eight or ten days, your Heirs would have been particularly obliged to him, for giving you a Cordial remove out of your possession, and that through omission of those two great Remedies, Purging and Bleeding, the exact use whereof, in respect of time, quantity, and other circumstances, can only be determined by Accomplished Physicians.  
§ I should accuse myself of partiality, did I conceal, what may be pleaded for their Practice. Many a substantial Citizen may have the fortune of a Servant taken Sick in his house, who should he upon every flight accident of that nature fling away (as he calls it) ten shillings on a Physician, might justly be esteemed an ill manager of his concerns, when an Apothecary at a venture by giving a Vomit, Purge, or clyster, may for the charge of a shilling or eighteen pence remove the Distemper, which that now and then he performs with success, is universally known and taken notice of, and therefore in such cases, is so commonly sent for, or else could not judge any man so little commiserating the condition of his Servant, as to expose his life to a certain danger. Besides the Apothecary finds himself more galliard and confident in this his practice on inferiors; for if they miscarry, he excuses whatsoever error he hath committed, by asserting, he was importuned or rather forced to it by their Master. On the other hand, should an Apothecary being thus called in to a sick Servant, or a mean Tradesman, whose condition by reason of his charge of Family and Children is little better, refuse this assistance, disobliges the Master, loses the practice of his Family, or turns away his Patient, who shall immediately send to the next, that shall most willingly embrace the employ; whence may be observed, the one necessarily spurs on the other to practice. A third import greater than any of the former is, that Physicians all, or most, being tied to particular Apothecaries, prescribe their Bills in terms so obscure, that they force all chance Patients to repair to their own Apothecaries, praetending a particular secret, which only they have the key to unlock; whereas in effect it's no other than the commonest of Medicines, disguised under an unusual name, on design to direct you to an Apothecary, between whom and the Physician there is a private compact of going snips, out of the most unreasonable rates of the said Medicines, wherein if you seek a redress, by showing the Bill to the Doctor, he shall most religiously aver, it's the cheapest he ever red. The consequence hereof as to your particular is a double fraud; and as to Apothecaries in general, their number bearing the proportion of at least ten parts to one of noted Physicians, to whom allowing each his Covenant Apothecary, who constituting but one part of the ten, the remaining nine parts of the number are compelled either to sit still, or to Quack for a Livelihood; at or least eight of'em, for we'll suppose one part of the nine in a possibility, of acquiring competent estates, in a way more honest, than that of the Covenanteers, by their wholesale Trade, of fitting Surgeons Chests for Sea, and supplying Country Apothecaries with Compositions. Lastly, all Accomplished Physicians are likewise exposed to manifest injuries from those Covenant Apothecaries, who being sent for by Patients, after a short essay of a Cordial, will overpower them by persuasions to call in a Doctor, who shall be no other than his Covenant Physician, by which means the former Physician, that by his extraordinary care and Skill had obliged the Family before, shall be passed by, and lose the practice of that Patient. And should it happen, the sense of gratitude of the forementioned Patient, should engage him to continue the use of his former Physician, yet this Covenant Apothecary shall privately cavil at every Bill, and impute the appearance of every new small pain or symptom, (which necessarily in the course of a Disease will happen) to his ill address in the Art of Physic, and shall not give over, before he hath introduced his Covenanteer, whose authority in the fraud of a Physic Bill, he supposes to be most necessary.  
§ But since I have omitted nothing, relating to the concern of their practice, I will not be defective in proposing what may tend to the interest of their so unreasonable profit, as people judge. The necessity of their Neighbourhood to you, to be at hand on all important occasions, is an argument, they pay great Rents in many places, to the satisfaction whereof, and the support of their Families, it is not the profit commonly allowed over and above what commodities stand Retailers in at the Merchants or wholesale men, will plentifully suffice, so that it's no more than reason, they should be considered in the Rates and Prices of their Medicines, for the Mystery, pains, and Art of praeparing them, and afterwards conveying them to your house, where their time in waiting on you, and answering many of your impertinent quaestions, or running to and fro for you to the Doctors, and oft being called by you out of their beds in the night, ought I judge likewise to be taken notice of. Secondly, all Honest Apothecaries at the years end rid their Shops of two thirds of their decayed Compositions, and rotten Simples, which at their seasons they are obliged to praepare a fresh, and keep them ready for your use, if unhappily your Disease should require any of 'em; whence it appears the greatest justice, you should be charged for Medicines, that are purposely so praepared and reserved for you though never prescribed, in the higher Rates and Prices of such, you at any time have occasion for. Thirdly, An Apothecary being obliged to repair to a Physicians Covenant Apothecary, to purchase his Fantastical Nostrum at the unreasonable rate he is pleased to value it at, doth not a little inflame the reckoning. Fourthly, The unskilful Physician praescribing an Ounce of Pearl in a Cordial Emulsion, puts the Patient's Purse into a Disease, and gives him but little ease. Moreover to prescribe Bees praepared in the Winter, or four or five Ounces of Peach Kernels in the Spring, or to ordain a restorative Electuary out of Parats tongues, and Hawks livers, as a most egregious Physician of our Town did, is an argument, you need not to stair if your Bill amounts to pounds sterling. And when your glorious Physician hath marked you down an Apozem of a yard and half long, I would not have you dispute with your Apothecary, for demanding more than what's usual for one, that contains but a simple or two, which possibly shall operate more effectually, and the Physician will know more certainly, which of the Simples did the feat, whereas in a great composition it's impossible to determinate which of'em contributed most to the Cure. § These defects and abuses in the practice of Physic in relation to their prices, chiefly depend on the great bulk of the London Dispensatory, being overburdened with at least two thirds, though considering the time it was framed in, might well have vied with any of its cotemporaries, for excellent and select Compositions. But the experience of our so wonderfully improved age declares, most methods of Physic can more commodiously be performed with a less than one third of its Contents. To what purpose so many scores of Syrups, which upon their unavoidable fermentation through the heat of the Summer, undergo a dissipation of the imbibed or infused virtues of Simples, differing afterwards in nothing from nauseous Molasses? so great a number of distilled Waters seems rather intended for pomp, than the absolute necessity of such Phlegmatic and insiped Liquors, as most of'em are. Aqua Gilberti, and Cordialis frigida Saxoniae, are through the addition of Coral, Pearl, Bezoar, and precious Stones, considerably advanced in price, but not the least particle in virtue, accusing the Inventors of a defect in experimental knowledge, which would have discovered to them, there had been nothing so Volatile or Salin in those forementioned Stones and Pearl, that such weak Menstruums were capable of extracting. And he that revises the Composition of Confectio Hamech, will conclude it a very senseless one, for being rendered so adstrictive, by that great proportion of Myrobalaas. Mithridate and Threacle if ever they had been causes of those great effects former ages ascribed to them, would certainly be promoted to higher virtues, were they corrected by the substracting many of their poisonous and hurtful ingredients. Neither could I ever give myself a satisfactory reason, why those ancient and pure Empirical Compositions, whereof Mesues was so diligent a Collector, were recommended by those learned Physicians to their Apothecaries, without reducing their Empirical and senseless multitude of ingredients to a less and more rational number, in the Compositions of Species Confect. Liber Pulvis Bezoard. Magistr. Diarrhod. Abbot. and of many others; Likewise the Chemical preparations described in the latter end of the said Pharmapoea, are as mean, as they are defective; Antimonium Diaphoreticum is not so much fixed, but oft moves Vomits; the like effect may be imputed to their Bezoardicum Minerale. Their Mercurius vitae proves for the most part Convulsive towards the latter part of the operation; their Oleum Vitrioli too corrosive, and not at all volatile; their Turbith Mineral is as churlish, as it is a crude and barren praeparation. The body of the Chalybs praep. not being sufficiently opened by distilled Vinegar, doth not answer the Physicians expectation in obstinate obstructions. Their Magisterium Coral. and Perlar. differ little from chalk in powder, or lime well washed. In fine, nothing is more worthy of the consideration of those so eminently Accomplished Physicians of the College, than the reformation of their Pharmacopoea, the correcting of its Compositions, in retrenching the number of the ingredients, and reducing the body of the whole into a far less number of Simple Waters, Syrups, Electuaries, Powders, Compound Purgatives, Ointments and Plasters, whereby they will singularly pleasure Honest Apothecaries, in detracting so considerably from that needless and almost endless pains and trouble, the present Dispensatory enjoins, and save them the labour of running to one another to borrow Medicines; and lastly, since by this small determinate number of Simples and Compounds little or nothing will remain to be flung away at the years end, they may afford their Medicines two thirds cheaper, and yet be no less Gainers, and for this the public will in gratitude become their equal Debtors with Apothecaries.  
§ To this preceding Catalogue of clamourous abuses of Practising Apothecaries, I will annex such others, as the immoderate thirst of lucre, and the sweet ease of laziness, do tempt them to; and therefore if in the praeparation of prolix compositions, as of Syr. Arthem. Syr. Chamaepit. Mithridate and others, they omit half a score Simples or more, and supply the defect of 'em by a double proportion of others, you may judge, they intent nothing but the contracting their business, and the humouring their inclination to idleness. And if in the Species of Diamoschu they omit the Mosck, in Pulu. e Chel. Cancror. the Bezoar, in Pulu. Cardiac. Magistr. the Ambergrise and Leaf Gold, in Pulu. Bez. Mag. the Unicorns horn, and the Pearl, you may imagine they design a double profit; the one by saving those dear Ingredients, and the other, by charging the said Medicines at as high a rate to the Patient's Bill, as if they had been added in their full proportion. Secondly, At the Druggist's there being two sorts of all Drugs, the one good, sound and dear, the other though of the same kind, course, almost rotten and very cheap; we may be jealous, that those who aim at an Aldermanship by a quick step, do for the most part make use of the latter sort of Drugs in all their Compositions, and in the preparations of the praescripts of Physicians; whose Bills its most certain are by some Apothecaries unfaithfully dispensed, by adding a less quantity of the Ingredients, or such as will prove ineffectual, on design either to protract the course of Physic, or to defame the Physician. Thirdly, the humour of a Tradesman to play the Gentleman is too visible in many Apothecaries, who pass their time either Physician like in visiting Patients, or rendering themselves to the recreations of the times, wherein they are plentifully supported by the revenue of their Shop, which their men manage according to the idleness and negligence Servants are all addicted to in the absence of their Masters; whence supposing a praescription to be erroneously or dangerously praepared, and the Patient upon the taking of it surprised with urgent symptoms, or yield to his last fate, it shall not be divulged to you, the man that made up the Medicine was a raw Apprentice, or had been drinking Drunk, whilst the Master was breathing his Nag in Hyde-park, in all which transaction, it's the Physician that must father the ill success.  
§ Were you here to pass your sentiment on the praemisses, you would conclude I had spoken for and against the Apothecaries, which how far I seem to have written for them, it's time I should resolve you. First, in answer to what I objected seemingly on the behalf of the reasonableness of their Practice. Our most perfect English Law imposes death upon those who exact money (though out of a necessity for a Livelihood) from any, by threatening their lives, if so, what can we suppose a greater argument against Apothecaries, that exact great Sums in their long Bills for Medicines, which beyond threatening, have artificially taken away their lives? for it's observable our Law is so intent in the praeserving of the life of every (though the meanest) of the King's Subjects, that if a proof be pursued, that the untimely death of any person was caused by an error in Physic, administered by one that had no legal warrant for it, the crime is severely punished with a Rope.  
§ But since the condition of inferior Tradesmen and Servants will not admit of great expenses in Physicians fees, besides large prices for Medicines, the Honourable College of Physicians would singularly acquit their duty to the public, in praeventing their rash inconsiderate humour of running to Mountebanks, Empirics, or practising Apothecaries for cheapness (so seeming,) by appointing every three or four years one or two Junior Physicians in every Ward, whose visiting Fee they should be obliged by Oath, shall not exceed a shilling, and their Chamber Fee six pence, by which means many lives might be praeserved, the young Physician gain considerably enough by the frequency of Patients and the multitude of Visits, and very much improve his experience. Likewise there ought a Pharmacopoea Pauperum to be annexed to the other, which consisting in cheap, few, and effectual Medicines, and praepared by two or three Apothecaries, authorized for that purpose in every respective Ward, and every Medicine reasonably rated by the Physician at the end of his praescription, it would certainly prevent the ruin of many mean Families in case of a great Sickness, which oft cannot stand them in less than twenty or thirty pounds, at the rate Physic is practised now.  
§ Physicians of late have made some sputter about the dishonesty, stubborness, and incapacity of Apothecaries in their Trade, but seeking redress among incompetent Judges, the vulgar, mistook their case, and so must begin again. The Carrier in the Fable complaining to jupiter, his Ass was sullen and would not go the way he would have him; jupiter returned no other answer, than that he had given him hands; implying he might make use of'em in taking the Ass by the Halter, and driving him on with a Battoon. The Moral applied to this affair can give no offence, since Fables never created exceptions. So then the College of Physicians having the means in their own hands, which their Charter and several acts of Parliament had conferred on them, may without much difficulty arrive to the end of their design, by summoning the chief of their Corporation before them, and offering whether they will accept of an Oath, to be taken every seven years or oftener, (to put them in mind of their duty,) in this form, or any other they shall think fit. They shall swear they will praepare the Medicines and Compositions of their Dispensatory faithfully without altering or substituting Quid pro Quo, or omitting or adding any Simples, which they engage shall be the sound and good; and that they will praepare and dispense the prescriptions of Physicians exactly without the least alteration, omission or addition, without cavilling, deriding, or reviling any thing therein contained. That they shall not sell their Medicines at higher prices than the College shall think fit to tax or rate them. That they shall not praesume to give a Vomit or Purge, without a Bill from a Legal Physician. That they shall not give a Patient more than one Cordial or clyster on an urgent occasion, which may satisfy the Patient's impatiency, until a Physician be sent for, provided always, that this shall not extend to hinder them from selling Mithridate, Threacle, Simple Waters, Syrups, or any thing else a Customer will buy of 'em. That they shall not feel Pulses, examine Patients, puzzle or fright them to cause them to send for another. That they shall dispense Laudanum, Mercurius vitae, and some other weighty Medicines with their own hands. That they shall give Physicians a due respect and honour, oppose the frauds and insinuations of Empirics and Practising Apothecaries. That they shall not keep any Medicine in their Shops longer, than the College prescribes a time for their continuing good and sound. That they shall not sell Sublimate, Praecipitate, Arsenic or any other sort of quick poison to any inferior or unknown Customer. That they shall conceal the Diseases of Patients, or whatever other secrets are committed to them in the Cure. That they shall likewise keep secret such praescripts of the Physicians as they shall enjoin them to. That they shall not publicly or privately advise or sell any Medicine that may occasion Women to miscarriages, or kill their Conception. That they shall discover the frauds and errors committed by Practising Apothecaries, if suspected to have caused the untimely death of any. That they shall not let Blood, dress Ulcers, or invade any part of the Skilful Surgeons employ. Besides what else is convenient to be added. An Oath being no more than necessary in a Trade, where frauds and abuses are so practicable, I am confident no Honest Apothecary can or will refuse it, since containing no particular, that cuts off from the privilege or full extent of his Trade. Those whom the honesty of their intentions shall persuade their submission to these rules, may be distinguished from others, by being called College Apothecaries, to whom it's likewise most just, the Physicians shall engage upon the reputation of their Profession, not to praepare any Medicines, but such as are very difficult, requiring art and care, and whereon the weight and principal efficacy of Curing great Diseases doth depend, but that they shall send these also to be dispensed by them, and consequently shall leave off praescribing of Nostrums that were used to be praepared by their Covenant Apothecaries. Moreover that they shall not divert any Patient from his Apothecary, or in the least hint at his incapacity, to cause any suspicion or praejudice in the Patient; that they shall ever refuse to make use of a Practising or any other than a College Apothecary, but endeavour the suppression of all such and Empirics, for their mutual interest and advantage, and ever be obliged to give a good Character of them in particular. That they will tax and rate their compositions and prescriptions conscientiously, and with a particular regard had to their Rents, charge of Servants, loss of time, and all other necessary circumstances. That they shall not Usurp any Authority or Majestical command over them, other than of praescribing, directing, and informing what's necessary for the good of the Patient and their Customer, and consequently esteem 'em as free Tradesmen.  
§ But if it shall be made to appear, a College Apothecary hath in any particular, broken his Oath, he shall be expelled and extermined as a perjured person, out of the College Practice, without the least hope of ever being received in again. Likewise a Collegiate Physician being found peccant, aught to be degraded of the honour, of being a member of so honourable a Society.  
§ The irregularity of the Practice of Physic being in a great measure to be imputed to the perverse qualities of some of themselves, the Collegiate Physicians ought to pass an engagement, They shall depose all envy and malice, by desisting to decry or depress one another by clandestine sinister reflections, but on the contrary, rather aiming at that part of a Gentleman, to give a generous Character of one another. That they shall not undertake the Cure of any Patient, who hath made use of another, before the former Physician is dismissed with his due satisfaction. That if two or more are called to a consultation, they shall go out together, and no single one tarry behind, to insinuate into the opinion of the Patient or his Friends. That all consultations shall be made in a room private to themselves, and all their particular judgements shall be left wholly to be approved and decided by the Physician that was first called, who ought likewise to prescribe only. That being called, where an Empirick or Practising Apothecary hath by an irregular method brought the Patient into a manifest danger, and an irrecoverable condition, he shall be obliged to acquaint the College with it.  
By a line of impartiality I have drawn this tract, not being conscious of any pique I have to any party therein mentioned, and for that reason can assert, I have produced what may be urged for Physician and Apothecary, to the least circumstance, and have likewise annexed a way for accommodation between 'em, but how well or how ill I leave to the Reader; and so farewell.  Sunt bona mixta malis, sunt mala mixta bonis. 
FINIS.   

A LASH for LEX TALIONIS; OR, A just Repraehension of the Practising Apothecary.  
THis preceding discourse was almost finished in the Impression, when I chanced to spy somewhat new, pricked up against a post in a Ballad-sellers Stall, at first appearing like some strange News from Tripoli, but upon a nearer approach, observed a very worthy person Dr. Merret named i'th' Title of Lex Talionis, and in the ensuing page▪ Dr. Goddart, both very Accomplished and Eminently Learned in their Profession; also a third, Dr. Daniel Cox, a person as ingenious as learned. These to whom the generality of judicious men dedicate a character more ample, than my narrow bounds will permit to express, were assaulted in their honour and reputation by a clandestine scurrilous Cabal of four or five Practising Apothecaries, raking up in the Libel forementioned all the filth and dirt the Sink of their imagination stunk of, but with no other success than the bespattering of themselves, and defiling their own Nest. The provocation for this was no more than what passers by give to those snarling Animals, that bark at 'em, because they are none of the house; it being the sentiment of those Learned men in their Treatises, that the people were extremely imposed upon by some fraudulent Apothecaries, whom they endeavoured to divert from their impious practice by a threat, they would attempt the praeparation of their own Medicines, which the urgent occasion of a sickly season, and many inconveniences attending a private Pharmacy might easily praevail with them, to render back to those, whose established employment it had been for some ages. This was the opinion of all sober and honest Apothecaries, with a censure, that the foresaid Pamphlet was Indicted by some Hermaphrodite Apothecary-Doctor to deserve a small piece, or to raise himself by causing a division between Physicians and Apothecaries; these latter detesting those scandalous reflections on the whole Corporation of Physicians, and others in particular by inserting their names, a sort of impudence not common in a civilised Government, and what is more, of giung the Lie to a Gentleman, which the Lex Talionis of all Nations recompenses with a Bastonade. But give Diabolus his due, the particular naming of persons being left out, it might pass for a piece of Bouffonerie, the chief Author being fitter sor a——— on the little Theatre of a Bartholomew Booth, than— sure he would have bursted had he not gi'n vent to his witty Hogshead, that was thus upon the fret; and when he has been well racked till the Lees drop into his Breeches, his manners will show more fine. However I'll pass one hours' time to give an essay, how facile it is to retort, but without reverberating heat: (fol. 7. Lex Talionis) That the young Physician must be lodged gratis in the Apothecary's house, and attended on by the Servants, and by the Mistress into the bargain; a filthy Bird that befowls his own nest. Cancaro! What's his meaning? confesses, he holds his Trade by a contented tenure in Capite; or by giving Purges at's house, when the sign is in Capricorn, and for that reason the English Mounsieur comes not thither, without muzling his Nose under his Cloak. But the Gentleman has forgot to tell you, his Trade is the only means the Physician has to shab off his Tympany-Cousin to the young Apothecary, in hopes of his Practice for her Portion, urgente necessitate, Po for that. sol. 24. The Apothecaries having a laudable custom once a year (and oftener too) as many as please, to go Herbarizing (done't say Simpling) in Guttur-lane, where any not knowing may be instructed by those, who well understand, and are learned;— O Learned Herbwomen! (fol. 25.) he recites a fictitious story of a Carrot top; A most pregnant invention of his Carrot-pa●e imagination. (fol. 2.) for Certes says he, an incomparable Gallus, whither his Brother Apothecary was carried the last Sessions in the little Coach (fol. 17.) with two Wheels, up Holborn and— such another his Glyster-pipeship may keep in Time, for it would be too pedantic for our age to say the Apothecary goeth to his Country house. fol. 17. Of late times there being more (Doctors) Knighted, than known in so short a time. If this be the contest, as many of you shall be exalted to a Knighthood o'th' burning Pestle, with the figure Ch. in the record of your Manual; but that will spoil your Palmistry I doubt. (fol. 2.) But Domine, was it salva conscientia, (fol. 25.) when for a truth one of your small Brethren in the Margin of's Bill, put down Item for Item and Item of Pulvis ad Anginam, being nothing but Album Graecum, each paper at half a Crown; for forty papers justo five pounds for White Dogs— and what you please besides for Tobith and's little Cur? Hush hush, all comes out; 'tis not forgotten the poor Lady in— marched off of an Ala mode, she had got by taking some Pills Mr. Nameless had roul'd between's Teeth, to make 'em take gilded the better. Hereafter pray leave off that trick. 'TMr. Nameless had been basely paid for's clyster; And how deservedly then the Bon Droll styles 'em (fol. 19) a Society, generally (none excepted?) very honest and sober men, Oiboh! Pray do ned go by t' Artichoak Leaden— stir. Pills, Potions, and Quack-advice you may have, and after that a long Arithmetical Scroll, little shorter than a Shentlemans Genealogy: This his Jong Picaro shall humbly present to you, and if you bid 'em send Ursus major, and you will pay his B●ll; expect not a Farthing abatement from the favour of a Quantum meruit; for here's a plain Assumpsit; if you understand not this Knack, the jereboams shall make you— Probatum est; for it's on Record more than once in several of the Courts. (fol. 17.) The Battle is to the strong; but they are strong, so● they ne'er break; and how can they? three Patients i' th' Spring makes their Pot boil all the year. It's well put in, a word of the battle; for generally they go armed with the Ivory pocket Pistol, & the Box of gilt Bullets; and Auri sacra fames, the good Old Cause, even it's that they fight for. (Fol. 18.) Their canting and formally praying over their Patients, etc. this is granted was the practice of three noted Physicians, and they got well by it, What then? Hast thou not heard of a Precious Brother of thine, who like a little Stone-horse mounted the great Tub, and with a sense of feeling, how heartily did he recommend his precious Elizir vitae to does dear Sisters, and so powerfully did press it home to 'em; and at length O how fervently did they embrace it! All had been well, and they had still continued in the same persuasion, had not that wretch Brother Nameless held forth his poisonous Box of Ointment, almost to the utter destruction of their sweet enjoyment, and their comfortable fellowship; But how precious an Antidote was Mercurius Dulcis then, to rebuke that evil spirit Lust and Conven tickling had let in among 'em? Nemo omnibus horis sapit, may as well be verified of this Apothecary as any other, when he bought dried Eels for Vipers, to make Trochisci, for his Venice Threacle, an Admirable Antidote! (fol. 9) for doubtless (says he) the discreet Apothecary being learned, may make a far abler Physician than he an Ahothecary; for it's but joining the Theory of Physic with his Practic, and he may be complete; what? a complete Mountebank! conceditur; but quomodo pulvis signior Apothecary, the joining of the Theory with the Practic? possibly the joining of Culpepper with the Glysterpipe; or Poor Robin's Almanac with the Pestle and Mortar; seriouslr a very complete Physician. Complamatum est; and from that rule (fol. 12) all Fools or Physiciaus indeed, or both, if he'll accept on't: (fol. 25.) for ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius, i. e. ex quovis wooden Apothecary non fit Medicus. But whence had your Worship all those ends of Latin? sure theyare the parings of some University Cobbler; for confident I am the learned Author's Gotham assistants are scarce guilty of knowing the first letter of the Greek I' th' title, though it proved their neck Verse (fol 25.) the Apothecary if he would understand the practice (a contradiction now confessing their ignorance i' th' Practic) and Theory of Physic, or any question that can be asked, (what turn ginger too!) let him buy Frambesarius, the best piece ever Duns studied to answers Quodlibets; that's th'use of't. Though when he truged to Cambridg for a degree of Blockhead in Physic, Don Quixot faltered most abominably, being better versed in Priscian than Galen. Quot sunt partes Medicinae? Answered quinque. Primo, to persuade a Customer in health he's sick. Secundo, to give him a Pill that shall make him sick. Tertio, to ●amp him up with Cordials. Quarto, to make in believe he's well, though now sick indeed. Quinto, to present 'im with a long Bill; if trap be the word go on and prosper. (fol. 26.) he comments on an ingenious book the Fermentatione, like an Asinus ad byram; as if the learned Author had not been able to explain's own thoughts, nevertheless runs on mistaking the thing all along. But my friend, when you have thoroughly perused the Praxis Riverli (fol. 26.) and Primroses Enchridium, still it will be but Simia est simia, etiamsi aurea gestet insignia, in English a debauched Apothecary. Neither will your Asinary canting on the fermentation (fol. 27.) for a specimen of their wonderful pretended progress in Physic, excuse 'em from being— in print; (fol. 25.) Let but a rational learned Apothecary, etc. Guarda la gamba! A rational learned swabber in Physic, a Pot-carry! and why may not a Rational learned Chimney-sweeper add but somewhat of the Theory (verba codicis) to his former observations, be better fitted for practice, and I would sooner engage him than many a Pot-carry. I mar'le trow ' your Worship forgets they have traveled too as well as Physicians; 'tis confessed they have; but 'twas on Balaam's Ass, from the Village of Ignorance, through the Town of Cheat'em in Long-bill-shire, till they came to the strong Castle of Impudence. Pass par la still, but in your Travels, have a care of the little Coach, they make an ugly halt by the way, unless the Coachman will engage to bring you back, and yet▪ 't would be dangerous to takes word. Pray good folks, a word of advice; leave off this rambling, off with your travelling garb, the Plush Jacket, and the broad brimmed Hat, 'tis but Vulpes sub pelle Leonis, and on with your blue Aprons again, the Music of the Pestle and Mortar will sound pleasanter than the Passing Bell; for Pot-carry is but quasi to the Pit-carry, and your Practising quasi Prating. Now let's Blazon the Primitive of your derived so eminent Profession, as he calls it. Apothecary Pot-carry, Pot-carry Pit-carry, Pit-carry Picaro. O Picaro, art thou the Father of so eminent a Generation! then may I say with the Author in the farewell of his Prologue; From a Picaro-Pit-carry-Apothecary Libera me Domine.  
FINIS.