THE MAYOR OF Quinborough: A COMEDY. As it hath been often Acted with much Applause at Blackfriars, By His Majesty's Servants.  
Written by THO. MIDDLETON.  
LONDON, Printed for Henry Herringman, and are to be sold at his Shop at the Sign of the Blew-Anchor in the Lower-Walk of the New-Exchange. 1661.   

GENTLEMEN,  
YOu have the first flight of him I assure you; this Mayor of Quinborough whom you have all heard of, and some of you beheld upon the Stage, now begins to walk abroad in Print; he has been known sufficiently by the reputation of his Wit, which is enough (by the way) to distinguish him from ordinary Mayors; but Wit you know, has skulked in Corners for many years past, and he was thought to have most of it that could best hide himself: Now whether this Magistrate feared the decimating times, or kept up the state of other Mayors, that are bound not to go out of their Liberties during the time of their Mayoralty, I know not; 'tis enough for me to put him into your hands, under the title of an honest man, which will appear plainly to you, because you shall find him all along to have a great picque to the Rebel Oliver; I am told his drollery yields to none the English drama did ever produce; and though I would not put his modesty to the blush, by speaking too much in his Commendation, yet I know you will agree with me, upon your better acquaintance with him, that there is some difference in point of Wit, betwixt the Mayor of Quinborough, and the Mayor of Huntingdon.   

Drammatis Personae.  

Constantius.  
Aurelius Ambrosius.  
Uther Pendragon.  
Vortiger.  
Hengist.  
Horsus.  
Devonshire, British Lord.  
Stafford. British Lord.  
Gentlemen.  
Simon.  
Oliver.  
Taylour.  
Barber.  
Aminadab.  
Footmen.  
soldiers.  
Cheaters.  
Castiza.  
Roxena.  
Ladies.  
Raynulph Monk of Chester.  
Germanus. Monck.  
Lupus. Monck.  
Graziers.    
The Mayor of Quinborough.  

ACT. 1.  

SCENA 1.  Enter Raynulph: Ray. 
WHat Raynulph Monk of Chester can  
Raise from his Polycranicon  
That raiseth him as works do men  
To see long parted light again,  
That best may please this round fair ring  
With sparkling Diamonds circled in,  
I shall produce: If all my powers  
Can win the grace of two poor hours,  
Well apaid I go to rest;  
Ancient stories have been best,  
Fashions that are now called new  
Have been worn by more than you;  
Elder times have used the same,  
Though these new ones get the name:  
So in story what now told  
That takes not part with days of old?  
Then to approve times mutual glory  
Join new times love to old times story.  Exit. Shouts within; Then Enter Vortiger. Vor. 
Will that wide throated Beast, the multitude,  
Never leave bellowing? Courtiers are ill  
Advised when they first make such Monsters.  
How near was I to a Sceptre and a Crown?  
Fair Power was even upon me, my desires  
Were casting glory, till this forked Rabble  
With their infectious Acclamations  
Poisoned my Fortunes for Constantine's sons.  
Well, though I rise not King, I'll seek the means  
To grow as near to one as policy can,  
And choke their expectations. Now, good Lords,  Enter Devon. and Stafford: 
In whose kind loves and wishes I am built  
As high as humane dignity can aspire,  
Are yet those Trunks that have no other souls  
But noise and ignorance, something more quiet?  Devon. 
Nor are they like to be for aught we gather,  
Their wills are up still; nothing can appease them,  
Good speeches are but cast away upon them.  Vor. 
Then, since necessity and fate withstand me,  
I'll strive to enter at a straighter passage;  
Your sudden aid and counsels, good my Lords.  Staff. 
They are ours no longer than they do you service.  Enter Constantius (as a Monk, attended by other Monks) Vortiger stays him. Vor. 
Vessels of sanctity, be pleased a while  
To give attention to the general peace,  
Wherein Heaven is served too, though not so purely.  
Constantius, eldest son of Constantine,  
We here seize on thee for the general good,  
And in thy right of Birth.  Con. 
On me! for what Lords?  Vor. 
The Kingdom Government.  Con. 
Oh powers of Blessedness!  
Keep me from growing downwards into earth again.  
I hope I am further on my way then so; set forwards.  Vor. 
You must not.  Con. 
How!  Vor. 
I know your wisdom  
Will light upon a way to pardon us  
When you shall read in every Britain's brow  
The urged necessity of the times.  Con. 
What necessity can there be in the world  
But prayer and repentance? and that business  
I am about now.  Vor. 
Hark afar off still,  
We lose and hazard much; holy Germanus,  
And Reverend Lupus, with all expedition  
Set the Crown on him.  Con. 
No such mark of Fortune  
Comes near my head.  Vor. 
My Lord, we are forced to rule you.  Con. 
Dare you receive Heavens light in at your Eyelids  
And offer violence to Religion?  
Take heed, the very Beam let in to comfort you  
May be the fire to burn you; On these knees,  
Hardened with zealous Prayers, I entreat you  
Bring not my cares into the world again.  
Think with how much unwillingness and anguish  
A glorified Soul parted from the Body  
Would to that loathsome Gaol again return,  
With such great pain a well subdued affection  
Reenters worldly business.  Vor. 
Good my Lord,  
I know you cannot lodge so many Virtues,  
But Patience must be one. As low as earth  
We beg the freeness of your own consent  
Which else must be constrained; and time it were  
Either agreed or forced. Speak good my Lord,  
For you bind up more sins in this delay  
Then thousand Prayers can absolve again.  Con. 
Were't but my death, you should not kneel so long for't.  Vor. 
'Twill be the death of Millions if you rise not,  
And that betimes too: Lend your help my Lords,  
For fear all come too late.  Con. 
This is a Cruelty  
That peaceful man did never suffer yet  
To make me die again, that once was dead,  
And begin all that ended long before.  
Hold Lupus and Germanus, you are lights  
Of Holiness and Religion, can you offer  
The thing that is not lawful? stand not I  
Clear from all temporal charge by my profession?  Ger. 
Not when a time so violent calls upon you,  
Who is born a Prince, is born a general peace,  
Not his own only; Heaven will look for him  
In others actions, and will require him there.  
What is in you religious must be shown  
In saving many more Souls than your own.  Con. 
Did not great Constantine, our Noble Father,  
Deem me unfit for Government and Rule,  
And therefore praised me into this profession?  
Which I have held strict, and love it above glory.  
Nor is there want of me, yourselves can witness  
Heaven hath provided largely for your peace,  
And blessed you with the lives of my two Brothers,  
Fix your obedience there, leave me a Servant.  All. 
Long live Constantius, Son of Constantine,  
King of Great Britain.  Con. 
I do feel a want  
And extreme poverty of Joy within;  
The peace I had is parted 'mongst rude men,  
To keep them quiet I have lost it all.  
What can the Kingdom gain by my undoing?  
That riches is not best, though it be mighty,  
That's purchased by the ruin of another;  
Nor can the peace so filched ever thrive with them:  
And if't be worthily held Sacrilege  
To rob a Temple, 'tis no less offence  
To ravish meditations from the Soul  
(The consecrated Altar in a man:)  
And all their hopes will be beguiled in me,  
I know no more the way to temporal Rule  
Than he that's born and has his years come to him  
In a rough desert; well may the weight kill me,  
And that's the fairest good I look for from it.  Vor. 
Not so, great King, here stoops a faithful servant  
Would sooner perish under it with cheerfulness  
Than your meek Soul should feel oppression  
Of ruder cares; such common coarse employments  
Cast upon me your servant, upon Vortiger;  
I see you are not made for noise and pains,  
Clamours of Suitors, Injuries and Redresses,  
Millions of Actions, rising with the Sun,  
Like Laws still ending and yet never done,  
Of power to turn a great man to the state  
Of his marble Monument: with overwatching,  
To be oppressed is not required of you, my Lord,  
But only to be King: the broken sleeps  
Let me take from you, Sir; the toils and troubles,  
All that is burdenous in Authority  
Please you lay it on me, and what is glorious  
Receive it to your own brightness.  Con. 
Worthy Vortiger,  
If 'twere not sin to grieve another's patience  
With what we cannot tolerate ourselves,  
How happy were I in thee and thy love?  
There's nothing makes man feel his miseries  
But knowledge only; reason, that is placed  
For man's director is his chief afflictor;  
For though I cannot bear the weight myself,  
I cannot have that barrenness of remorse  
To see another groan under my burden.  Vor. 
I am quite blown up a conscionable way,  
There's even a trick of murdering in some pity;  
The death of all my hopes I see already:  
There was no other likelihood, for Religion  
Was never friend of mine yet.  Con. 
Holy Partners in strictest abstinence  
Cruel necessity hath forced me from you,  
We part, I fear for ever, but in mind  
I will be always here, here let me stay.  Devon. 
My Lord you know the times.  Con. 
Farewell blessed Souls, I fear I shall offend,  Ex. all but Vor: 
He that draws tears from you takes your best friend.  Vor. 
Can the great motion of Ambition stand  
Like wheels false wrought by an unskilful hand?  
Then time stand thou too, let no hopes arrive  
At their sweet wishfulness, till mine set forwards:  
Would I could stay the existence, as I can  
Thy glassy counterfeit in hours of sand,  
I'd keep thee turned down till my wishes rose,  
Then we'd both rise together.  
What several Inclinations are in nature?  
How much is he disquieted, and wears Royalty  
Disdainfully upon him, like a Curse,  
Calls a fair Crown the weight of his afflictions!  
When here's a Soul would sink under the burden.  
Yet well recovered, I will use all means  
To vex authority from him, and in all  
Study what most may discontent his blood,  
Making my Masque my Zeal to the public good.  
Not possible a richer policy  
Can have conception in the thought of man.  Enter two Graziers. 1 Gra. 
An honourable life enclose your Lordship.  Vor. 
Now, what are you?  2 Gra. 
Graziers if't like your Lordship.  Vor. 
So it should seem by your Enclosures;  
What's your affair with me?  1 Gra. 
We are your Petitioners,  
My Lord.  Vor. 
For what? depart, Petitioners to me!  
You have well deserved my grace and favour, have you not a Ruler  
After your own Election? hie you to Court,  
Get near and close, be loud and bold enough,  
You cannot choose but speed.  Exit. 2 Gra. 
If that will do't  
We have throats wide enough, we'll put them to't.  Exeunt. Dumb show. Fortune discovered, in her hand a round Ball full of Lots; then enters Hengist and Horsus, with others; they draw Lots, and having opened them, all depart, save Hengist and Horsus, who kneel and embrace; then enter Roxena, seeming to take leave of Hengist in great passion, but more especially and warily of Horsus, her Lover; she departs one way, Hengist and Horsus another. Enter Raynulph. Ray. 
When Germany was overgrown  
With Sons of peace too thickly sown,  
Several guides were chosen then  
By destined Lots to lead out men,  
And they whom Fortune here withstands  
Must prove their Fates in other Lands.  
On these two Captains fell the Lot;  
But that which must not be forgot,  
Was Roxena's cunning grief,  
Who from her Father like a thief,  
Hid her best and truest tears  
Which her lustful Lover wears,  
In many a stolen and wary kiss  
Unseen of Father: Maids do this  
Yet highly scorn to be called Strumpets too,  
But what they lack of't I'll be judged by you.  Exit. Enter Vortiger, Feltmonger, Button-maker, Grazier, Petitioners. Vor. 
This way his Majesty comes.  All. 
Thank your good Lordship:  Vor. 
When you hear you door open.  All. 
Very good my Lord.  Vor. 
Be ready with your several suits, put forward.  Gres. 
That's a thing every man does naturally, Sir,  
That is a Suitor, and doth mean to speed.  Vor. 
'Tis well you are so deep learned, take no denials.  All. 
No my good Lord.  Vor. 
Not any, if you love  
The prosperity of your Suits; you mar all utterly  
And overthrow your fruitful hopes for ever,  
If either fifth or sixth, nay tenth repulse  
Fasten upon your bashfulness.  All. 
Say you so, my Lord?  
We can be troublesome if we list.  Vor. 
I know it,  
I felt it but too late in the general sum  
Of your rank Brotherhood, which now I thank you for.  
While this vexation is in play, I'll study  
For a second, than a third to that, one still  
To vex another, that he shall be glad  
To yield up power, if not, it shall be had.  Exit. But. 
Hark, I protest my heart was coming upwards,  
I thought the door had opened.  Gras. 
Marry would it had Sir.  But. 
I have such a treacherous heart of my own, 'twill throb  
At the very fall of a Farthingale.  Gras. 
Not if it fall on the rushes.  But. 
Yes truly if there be no light in the room I shall throb presently:  
The first time it took me my wife was in the company,  
I remember the room was not half so light as this,  
But I'll be sworn I was a whole hour in finding her.  Gras. 
by’r lady you'd a long time of throbbing of it then.  But. 
Still I felt men, but I could feel no women,  
I thought they had been all sunk, I have made a Vox for't,  
I'll never have meeting while I live by Candlelight again.  Gras. 
Yes, Sir, in lanterns.  But. 
Yes, Sir, in lanterns.  
But I'll never trust candle naked again.  Gras. 
Hark, hark, stand close, it opens now indeed.  Enter Constantius and two Gentlemen. But. 
Oh Majesty, what art thou! I'd give any man  
Half my Suit to deliver my petition; It is in the behalf  
Of Button-makers, and so it seems by my flesh.  Con. 
Pray do not follow me, unless you do it  
To wonder at my garments, there's no cause  
I give you why you should, 'tis shame enough  
Methinks to look upon myself;  
It grieves me that more should, the other weeds  
Became me better, but the Lords are pleased  
To force me to wear these, I would not else:  
I pray be satisfied, I called you not.  
Wonder of madness, can you stand so idle  
And know that you must die!  1 Gent. 
We are all commanded, Sir,  
Besides it is our duties to your grace  
To give attendance.  Con. 
What a wild thing is this?  
No marvel though you tremble at death's name  
When you'll not see the cause why you are fools:  
For charity's sake desist here I pray you,  
Make not my presence guilty of your sloth,  
Withdraw, young men, and find you honest business.  2 Gent. 
What hopes have we to rise by following him?  
I'll give him over shortly.  1 Gent. 
He's too nice,  
Too holy for young Gentlemen to follow  
That have good faces, and sweet running fortunes.  Con. 
Eight hours a day in serious contemplation  
Is but a bare allowance, no higher food  
To the Soul than bread and water to the body,  
And that's but needful, then more would do better.  But. 
Let us all kneel together, 'twill move pity,  
I have been at the begging of a hundred Suits.  Con. 
How happy am I in the sight of you?  
Here are religious souls that lose not time,  
With what devotion do they point at Heaven,  
And seem to check me, that am too remiss!  
I bring my zeal among you, holy men,  
If I see any kneel, and I sit out,  
That hour is not well spent; methinks, strict souls,  
You have been of some Order in your times?  Gras. 
Graziers and Braziers some, and this a Feltmaker.  But. 
Here's his Petition and mine, if it like your Grace.  Gras. 
Look upon mine, I am the longest Suitor,  
I was undone seven years ago.  Con. 
You have mocked my good hopes, call you these Petitions?  
Why there's no form of Prayer among them all.  But. 
Yes in the bottom there's half a line prays for your Majesty,  
If you look on mine.  Con. 
Make your requests to Heaven, not to me.  But. 
'Las mine's a supplication for brass buttons, Sir.  Felt. 
There's a great enormity in wool,  
I beseech your Grace consider it.  Gra. 
Pastures rise 2d an acre, what will this world come to?  But. 
I do beseech your Grace.  Gra. 
Good your Grace.  Con. 
Oh this is one of my afflictions  
That with the Crown enclosed me, I must bear it.  Gra. 
Your grace's answer to my supplication.  But. 
Mine my Lord.  Con. 
No violent storm lasts ever, that's the comfort of it.  Felt. 
Your highness' answer.  Gra. 
We are almost all undone, the Country beggared.  But. 
See, see, he points at Heaven, as who should say  
There's enough there; but 'tis a great way thither,  
There's no good to be done, I see that already,  
We may all spend our mouths like a company of Hounds  
In chase of a Royal Deer, and then go home  
And fall to cold mutton bones, when we have done.  Gra. 
My wife will hang me, that's my currish destiny.  Exeunt. Con. 
Thanks Heaven, 'tis over now, we should never know rightly  
The sweetness of a calm, but for a storm.  
Here's a wished hour for contemplation now,  
All's still and silent, here is a true Kingdom.  Enter Vortiger. Vor. 
My Lord.  Con. 
Again?  Vor. 
Alas this is but early  
And gentle to the troops of businesses  
That flock about Authority: You must forthwith  
Settle your mind to marry.  Con. 
How, to marry?  Vor. 
And suddenly, there's no pause to be given,  
The people's wills are violent, and covetous  
Of a succession from your Loins.  Con. 
From me there can come none, a professed abstinence  
Hath set a Virgin Seal upon my blood,  
And altered all the Course; the heat I have  
Is all enclosed within a zeal to virtue,  
And that's not fit for earthly propagation;  
Alas, I shall but forfeit all their hopes,  
I'm a man made without desires, tell them.  Vor. 
I proved them with such words, but all were fruitless,  
A Virgin of the highest subjects' blood  
They have picked out for your embrace, and send her  
Blessed with their general wishes into fruitfulness.  Enter Castiza. 
Lo, where she comes, my Lord.  Con. 
I never felt  
Th' unhappy hand of misery till this touch;  
A patience I could find for all but this.  Cast. 
My Lord, your vowed love ventures me but dangerously.  Vor. 
'Tis but to strengthen a vexation politic.  Cast. 
That's an uncharitable practice, trust me Sir.  Vor. 
No more of that.  Cast. 
But say he should affect me, Sir,  
How should I scape him then? I have but one faith, my Lord,  
And that you have already, our late contract is a divine witness to't.  Vor. 
I am not void of shifting rooms and helps  
For all projects that I commit with you.  Exit. Cast. 
This is an ungodly way to come to honour,  
I do not like it, I love Lord Vortiger,  
But not these practices, theyare too uncharitable.  Con. 
Are you a Virgin?  Cast. 
Never yet, my Lord,  
Known to the will of man.  Con. 
Oh blessed Creature!  
And does too much felicity make you surfeit?  
Are you in soul assured there is a state  
Prepared for you, for you, a glorious one,  
In midst of Heaven, now in the state you stand in;  
And had you rather, after much known misery,  
Cares and hard labours, mingled with a curse,  
Throng but to the door, and hardly get a place there?  
Think, hath the world a folly like this madness?  
Keep still that holy and immaculate fire,  
You chaste lump of eternity, 'tis a treasure  
Too precious for death's moment to partake,  
This twinkling of short life; disdain as much  
To let mortality know you, as stars to kiss the pavements, you've a substance  
As excellent as theirs, holding your pureness,  
They look upon corruption, as you do,  
But are stars still, be you a Virgin too.  Cast. 
I'll never marry, what though my truth be engaged  
To Vortiger? forsaking all the world  
I save it well, and do my faith no wrong.  
You've mightily prevailed, great virtuous Sir,  
I am bound eternally to praise your goodness,  
My thoughts henceforth shall be as pure from man  
As ever made a virgin's name immortal.  Con. 
I will do that for joy I never did  As he kisses her, Enter Vortiger and Gentlemen. 
Nor ever will again.  Gent. 
My Lord, he's taken.  Vor. 
I am sorry for't, I like not that so well,  
theyare something too familiar for their time methinks,  
This way of kissing is no way to vex him;  
Why I, that have a weaker faith and patience,  
Could endure more than that, coming from a woman.  
Dispatch, and bring his answer speedily.  Exit. Gent. 
My Lord, my gracious Lord.  Con. 
Beshrew thy heart.  Gent. 
They all attend your Grace.  Con. 
I would not have them,  
'Twould please me better if they'd all depart  
And leave me to myself, or put me out  
And take it to themselves.  Gent. 
The Noon is past,  
Meat's on the table:  Con. 
Meat! away, get from me,  
Thy memory is diseased, what Saints eve's this?  Gen. 
Saint Agatha's I take it.  Con. 
Is it so?  
I am not worthy to be served before her,  
And so return I pray.  Gent. 
He'll starve the Guard  
If this be suffered; If we set Court bellies  
By a Monastery Clock, he that breaks a fellow's pate now  
Will not be able to crack a louse within this twelvemonth.  Exit. Con. 
'Tis sure forgetfulness and not man's will  
That leads him forth into licentious ways;  
He cannot certainly commit such errors,  
And think upon them truly as they are acting.  
Why's abstinence ordained, but for such seasons?  Enter Vortiger. Vor. 
My Lord, you've pleased to put us to much pains,  
But we confess 'tis portion of our duty:  
Will your Grace please to walk? dinner stays for you.  Con. 
I have answered that already.  Vor. 
But, my Lord,  
We must not so yield to you, pardon me,  
'Tis for the general good, you must be ruled, Sir,  
Your health and life is dearer to us now,  
Think where you are, at Court, this is no Monastery.  Con. 
But Sir, my Conscience keeps still where it was,  
I may not eat this day.  Vor. 
We have sworn you shall,  
And plentifully too, we must preserve you, Sir,  
Though you be wilful; 'tis no slight condition  
To be a King.  Con. 
Would I were less than man.  Vor. 
Will you make the people rise, my Lord,  
In great despair of your continuance,  
If you neglect the means that must sustain you.  Con. 
I never eat on eves.  Vor. 
But now you must,  
It concerns others healths that you take food,  
I have changed your life, you well may change your mood.  Con. 
This is beyond all cruelty.  Vor. 
'Tis our care my Lord.  Exeunt:   

ACT. 2.  

SCENA 1.  Enter Vortiger and Castiza. Cast. 
MY Lord, I am resolved, tempt me no farther,  
'Tis all to fruitless purpose.  Vor. 
Are you well?  Cast. 
Never so perfect in the truth of health  
As at this instant.  Vor. 
Then I doubt my own,  
Or that I am not waking.  Cast. 
Would you were then,  
you'd praise my resolution.  Vor. 
This is wondrous,  
Are you not mine by contract?  Cast. 
'Tis most true, my Lord,  
And I am better blessed in't then I looked for,  
In that I am confined in faith so strictly;  
I am bound my Lord, to marry none but you,  
You'll grant me that; and you I'll never marry.  Vor. 
It draws me into violence and hazard,  
I saw you kiss the King.  Cast. 
I grant you so Sir,  
Where could I take my leave of the world better?  
I wronged not you in that, you will acknowledge  
A King is the best part of it.  Vor. 
Oh my passion!  Cast. 
I see you something yielding to Infirmity; Sir,  
I take my leave.  Vor. 
Why, 'tis not possible!  Cast. 
The fault is in your faith, time I were gone  
To give it better strengthening:  Vor. 
Hark you, Lady.  Cast. 
Send your intent to the next Monastery,  
There you shall find my answer ever after,  
And so with my last duty to your Lordship,  
For whose prosperity I will pray as heartily  
As for my own.  Exit. Vor. 
How am I served in this? I offer a vexation to the King,  
He sends it home into my blood with vantage.  
I'll put off time no longer, I have brought him  
Into most men's neglects, calling his zeal  
A deep pride hallowed over, love of ease  
More than devotion, or the public benefit;  
Which catcheth many men's beliefs. I am stronger too  
In people's wishes, their affections point at me.  
I lose much time and glory, that redeemed,  
She that now flies returns with joy and wonder,  
Greatness and woman's wish ne'er keep asunder.  Exit. Dumb show. Enter two Villains, to them Vortiger, who seems to solicit them with gold, then swears them, and Exit. Enter Constantius meditating, they rudely strike down his Book, draw their Swords, he kneels and spreads his arms, they kill him, hurry him off. Enter Vortiger, Devonshire and Stafford in Conference, to them the Villains presenting the head, he seems sorrowful, and in rage stabbs them both. Then they crown Vortiger, and fetch in Castiza, who comes unwillingly, he hales her, and they crown her. Aurelius and Uther Brothers of Constantius, seeing him crowned, draw and fly. Enter Raynulph. Ray. 
When nothing could prevail to tire  
The good king's patience, they did hire  
Two wicked Rogues to take his life,  
In whom a while there fell a strife  
Of pity and fury, but the gold  
Made pity faint, and fury bold:  
Then to Vortiger they bring  
The head of that religious King,  
Who feigning grief, to clear his guilt,  
Makes the slaughterer's blood be spilled.  
Then crown they him, and force the Maid,  
That vowed a Virgin-life, to wed.  
Such a strength great power extends,  
It conquers Fathers, Kindred, Friends.  
And since Fates pleased to change her life  
She proves as holy in a Wife.  
More to tell, were to betray  
What deeds in their own tongues must say;  
Only this, the good King dead  
The Brothers poor in safety sled.  Exit, Enter Vortiger (Crowned) a Gentleman meeting him. Gent. 
My Lord.  Vor. 
I fear thy News will fetch a Curse,  
It comes with such a violence.  Gent. 
The people are up  
In Arms against you.  Vor. 
Oh this dream of glory!  
Sweet power, before I can have time to taste thee  
Must I for ever lose thee? what's the Impostume  
That swells them now?  Gent. 
The Murder of Constantius.  Vor. 
Ulcers of Realms! they hated him alive,  
Grew weary of the minute of his Reign,  
Called him an evil of their own electing,  
And is their ignorant zeal so fiery now  
When all their thanks are cold? the mutable hearts  
That move in their false breasts! provide me safety,  
Hark, I hear ruin threaten me with a voice Enter a second Gentleman.  
That imitates thunder.  2d Gent. 
Where's the King?  Vor. 
Who takes him?  2d Gent. 
Send peace to all your Royal thoughts, my Lord,  
A Fleet of valiant Saxons newly landed  
Offer the truth of all their Service to you.  Vor. 
Saxons! my wishes, let them have free entrance,  
And plenteous welcomes from all hearts that love us;  
They never could come happier.  Enter Hengist, Horsus, Soldiers. Heng. 
Health, power, and victory to Vortiger.  Vor. 
There can be no more pleasure to a King  
If all the Languages earth spoke were ransacked.  
Your names I know not, but so much good fortune  
And warranted worth lightens your fair aspects,  
I cannot but in arms of love enfold you.  Heng. 
The Mistress of our births hope, fruitful Germany,  
Calls me Hengistus, and this Captain Horsus,  
A man low built, but yet in deeds of Arms  
Flame is not swifter: we are all, my Lord,  
The Sons of Fortune, she has sent us forth  
To thrive by the red sweat of our own merits:  
And since after the rage of many a tempest  
Our Fates have cast us upon Britain's bounds,  
We offer you the first fruits of our wounds.  Vor. 
Which we shall dearly prize, the mean'st blood spent  
Shall at wealth's fountain make its own content:  Heng. 
You double vigour in us then, my Lord,  
Pay is the soul of such as thrive by th' Sword.  Exeunt. Enter Vortiger and Gentlemen. Alarm and Skirmishes. 1 Gent. 
My Lord, these Saxons bring a Fortune with them  
Stay any Roman success.  Vor. 
On, speak forwards,  
I will not take one minute from thy tidings.  1 Gent. 
The main supporters of this Insurrection  
They have taken Prisoners, and the rest so came  
They stoop to the least grace that flows from mercy.  Vor. 
Never came power guided by better stars  
Than these men's fortitudes, yet theyare misbelievers,  
Which to my reason is wondrous.  Enter Hengist and Horsus with Prisoners. 
You've given me such a first taste of your worth  
'Twill never from my love, when life is gone  
The memory sure will follow, my soul still  
Participating immortality with it.  
But here's the misery of earth's limited glory,  
There's not a way revealed to any honour  
Above the same which your own merits give you.  Heng. 
Indeed, my Lord, we hold, when all's summed up,  
That can be made for worth to be expressed,  
The fame that a man wins himself is best,  
That he may call his own; honours put to him  
Make him no more a man than his clothes do,  
And are as soon ta'en off; for in the warmth  
The heat comes from the body, not the weeds;  
So man's true fame must strike from his own deeds.  
And since by this event which fortune speaks us  
This Land appears the fair predestined soil  
Ordained for our good hap, we crave, my Lord,  
A little earth to thrive on, what you please,  
Where we'll but keep a Nursery of good spirits  
To fight for you and yours.  Vor. 
Sir, for our Treasure  
'Tis open to your merits, as our love;  
But for you're strangers in Religion chiefly,  
(Which is the greatest Alienation can be  Enter Symon with a Hide. 
And breeds most factions in the bloods of men)  
I must not yield to that.  Heng. 
'sprecious, my Lord,  
I see a pattern, be it but so little  
As yond poor Hide will compass.  Vor. 
How, the Hide!  Heng. 
Rather than nothing, Sir.  Vor. 
Since you're so reasonable,  
Take so much in the best part of our Kingdom.  Heng. 
We thank your Grace. Rivers from bubbling springs  
Have rise at first, and great from abject things.  
Stay yonder fellow, he came luckily,  
And he shall fare well for't, whate'er he be,  
we'll thank our fortune in rewarding him.  Horsus. 
Stay, fellow.  Sym. 
How, fellow! 'tis more than you know  
Whether I be your fellow or no, I am sure you see me not.  Heng. 
Come, what's the price of your Hide?  Sym. 
Oh unreasonable Villain!  
He would buy the house over a man's head; I'll be sure now  
To make my bargain wisely, they may buy me out of my skin else;  
Whose Hide would you buy, mine or the Beasts?  
There is little difference in their complexions, I think mine  
Is the blacker of the two; you shall see for your love, and buy for your money.  
A pestilence on you all, how have you deceived me?  
You buy an Ox hide? you buy a calf's Gather: they are all  
Hungry Soldiers, and I took them for honest Shoemakers.  Heng. 
Hold fellow, prithee hold; right a fool wordling  
That kicks at all good fortune. Whose man art thou?  Sym. 
I am a Servant, yet a masterless man, Sir.  Heng. 
Prithee how can that be?  Sym. 
Very nimbly, Sir,  
My Master is dead, and now I serve my Mistress,  
Ergo, I am à masterless man, she is now a widow,  
And I am the Foreman of her Tan-pit.  Heng. 
Hold you, and thank your Fortune, not your wit.  Sym. 
Faith, and I thank your bounty and not your wisdom,  
You are not troubled with wit neither greatly, it seems:  
Now by this light a nest of Yellow Hammers!  
What will become of me? If I can keep all these without hanging  
myself, I am happier than a hundred of my Neighbours.  
You shall have my skin into the bargain,  
Then if I chance to die like a Dog  
The labour will be saved of flaying me;  
I'll undertake, Sir, you shall have  
All the skins in our Parish at this price, men's and women's.  Heng. 
Sirrah, give good ear to me; now take the Hide  
And cut it all into the slenderest thongs  
That can bear strength to hold.  Sym. 
That were a jest i'faith,  
Spoil all the Leather? sin and pity,  
Why 'twould shoe half your Army.  Heng. 
Do it I bid you.  Sym. 
What, cut it all in thongs? hum,  
This is like the vanity of your Roman Gallants, that cannot wear  
Good Suits but they must have them cut and slashed in gigots,  
That the very crimson taffeties sit blushing at their follies;  
I would I might persuade you from this humour of cutting,  
'Tis but a swaggering condition and nothing profitable: what if it  
Were but well pinked? 'twould last longer for a summer suit.  Heng. 
What a cross lump of ignorance have I lighted on?  
I must be forced to beat my drift into him;  
Look you, to make you wiser than your Parents,  
I have so much ground given me as this Hide will compass,  
Which, as it is, is nothing:  Sym. 
Nothing quoth 'a,  
Why 'twill not keep a Hog.  Heng. 
Now with the vantage  
Cut into several pieces 'twill stretch far  
And make a liberal Circuit.  Sym. 
A shame on your crafty Hide  
Is this your cunning? I have learned more knavery now  
Then ever I shall claw off while I live.  
I'll go purchase land by Cow-tails and undo the Parish,  
Three good Bulls pizzles would set up a man for ever,  
This is like a pin a day to set up a Haberdasher of small wares.  Heng. 
Thus men that mean to thrive, as we must learn,  
Set in a foot at first.  Sym. 
A foot do you call it?  
The Devil is in that foot that takes up all this Leather.  Heng. 
Dispatch, and cut it carefully with all the advantage, Sirrah.  Sym. 
You could never have lighted upon such a fellow  
To serve your turn, Captain; I have such a trick of stretching too,  
I learned it of a tanner's man that was hanged  
Last Sessions at Maidstone,  
I'll warrant you I'll get you a mile and a half  
More than you're aware of.  Heng. 
Pray serve me so as oft as you will, Sir.  Sym. 
I am casting about for 9 acres to make a garden plot,  
Out of one of the Buttocks.  Heng. 
'Twill be a good soil for Nosegays.  Sym. 
'Twill be a good soil for Cabbages to stuff out the guts  
Of your Followers there:  Heng. 
Go see it carefully performed,  
It is the first foundation of our fortunes  
On Britain's earth, and aught to be embraced  
With a respect near linked to adoration.  
Methinks it sounds to me a fair assurance  
Of large honours and hopes, does it not, Captain?  Hors. 
How many have begun with less at first  
That have had Emperors from their bodies sprung,  
And left their Carcases as much in monument  
As would erect a College?  Heng. 
There's the fruits  
Of their religious show too, to lie rotting  
Under a million spent in gold and marble.  Hors. 
But where shall we make choice of our ground, Captain?  Heng. 
About the fruitful flanks of uberous Kent,  
A fat and olive soil, there we came in;  
Oh Captain, he has given he knows not what.  Hors. 
Long may he give so.  Heng. 
I tell thee, Sirrah, he that begged a field  
Of fourscore Acres for a Garden-plot,  
'Twas pretty well, but he came short of this.  Hors. 
Send over for more Saxons.  Heng. 
With all speed, Captain.  Hors. 
Especially for Roxena.  Heng. 
Who, my Daughter?  Hor. 
That Star of Germany, forget not her, Sir,  
She is a fair fortunate Maid,  
Fair she is, and fortunate may she be,  
But in Maid lost for ever, my desire  
Has been the close confusion of that name.  
A treasure 'tis, able to make more Thieves  
Than Cabinets set open to entice,  
Which learn them theft that never knew the vice.  Heng. 
Come, I'll dispatch with speed.  Hors. 
Do, forget none.  Heng. 
Marry pray help my memory.  Hors. 
Roxena you remember?  Heng. 
What more dear Sir?  Hors. 
I see your memory's clear, Sir.  Heng. 
Those shouts leapt from our Army.  Hors. 
They were too cheerful  
To voice a bad event.  Heng. 
Now, Sir, your News?  Enter a Gentleman. Gen. 
Roxena the fair.  Heng. 
True, she shall be sent for.  Gen. 
She's here, Sir.  Heng. 
What sayst?  Gen. 
She's come, Sir.  Hors. 
A new youth begins me o'er again.  Gen 
Followed you close, Sir,  
With such a zeal as daughter never equalled,  
Exposed herself to all the merciless dangers  
Set in mankind or fortune, not regarding  
Ought but your sight.  Heng. 
Her love is infinite to me.  Hors. 
Most charitably censured, 'tis her cunning,  
The love of her own lust, which makes a woman  
Gallop down hill as fearless as a Drunkard,  
There's no true Loadstone in the world but that,  
It draws them through all storms by Sea or shame,  
Life's loss is thought too small to pay that game.  Gen. 
What follows more of her will you take strongly,  Heng. 
How!  Gen. 
Nay 'tis worth your wonder.  
Her heart joy ravished with your late success  
Being the early morning of your fortunes,  
So prosperously new opening at her coming,  
She takes a Cup of Gold, and midst the Army,  
Teaching her knee a reverend cheerfulness,  
Which well became her, drank a liberal health  
To the king's joys and yours, the King in presence,  
Who with her sight, but her behaviour chiefly,  
Or chief but one or both, I know not which,  
But he's so far 'bove my expression caught,  
'Twere art enough for one man's time and portion  
To speak him and miss nothing.  Heng. 
This is astonishing!  Hors. 
Oh this ends bitter now, our close hid flame  
Will break out of my heart, I cannot keep it.  Heng. 
Gave you attention, Captain? how now man?  Hors. 
A kind of grief about these times of the Moon still,  
I feel a pain like a Convulsion,  
A Cramp at heart, I know not what name fits it.  Flourish. Enter Vortiger, Roxena, etc. Heng. 
Nor never seek one for it, let it go  
Without a name, would all griefs were served so.  Hors. 
A Love knot already, arm in arm!  Vor. 
What's he lays claim to her?  Heng. 
In right of Fatherhood  
I challenge an obedient part.  Vor. 
Take it, and send back the rest.  Heng. 
What means your Grace?  Vor. 
You'll keep no more than what  
Belongs to you?  Heng. 
That's all, my Lord, it all belongs to me,  
I keep the husband's Interest till he come,  
Yet out of duty and respect to Majesty  
I send her back your Servant  Vor. 
My Mistress, Sir, or nothing.  Heng. 
Come again, I never thought to hear so ill of thee.  Vor. 
How, Sir, so ill?  Heng. 
So beyond detestable,  
To be an honest Vassal is some Calling,  
Poor is the worst of that, shame comes not to't;  
But Mistress that the only common bait  
Fortune sets at all hours, catching Whore with it,  
And plucks them up by Clusters. There's my sword, my Lord,  
And if your strong desires aim at my blood  
Which runs too purely there, a nobler way  
Quench it in mine.  Vor. 
I ne'er took sword in vain,  
Hengist, we here create thee Earl of Kent.  Hors. 
Oh that will do't.  Vor. 
What ails our friend? look to him.  Rox. 
Oh 'tis his Epilepsy, I know it well,  
I helped him once in Germany, comes it again?  
A virgin's right hand stroked upon his heart  
Gives him ease straight, but it must be a pure Virgin,  
Or else it brings no comfort.  Vor. 
What a task  
She puts upon herself, unurged purity!  
The truth of this will bring love's rage into me.  Rox. 
Oh this would mad a woman, there's no proof  
In love to indiscretion.  Hors. 
Pish, this cures not.  Rox. 
Dost think I'll ever wrong thee?  Hors. 
Oh most feelingly,  
But I'll prevent it now and break thy neck  
With thy own cunning; thou hast undertaken  
To give me help, to bring in Royal credit  
Thy cracked Virginity, but I'll spoil all,  
I will not stand on purpose, though I could,  
But fall still, to disgrace thee.  Rox. 
What, you will not?  Hors. 
I have no other way to help myself,  
For when thouart known to be a whore imposterous  
I shall be sure to keep thee.  Rox. 
Oh, Sir, shame me not,  
You've had what is most precious, try my faith,  
Undo me not at first in chaste opinion.  Hors. 
All this art shall not make me feel my Legs.  Rox. 
I prithee do not wilfully confound me?  Hors. 
Well I am content for this time to recover  
To save thy credit, and bite in my pain;  
But if thou ever failest me, I will fall,  
And thou shalt never get me up again.  Rox. 
Agreed twixt you and I, Sir, see, my Lord,  
A poor maids work, the man may pass for health now,  
Among the clearest bloods, and those are nicest:  Vor. 
I have heard of women brought men on their knees,  
But few that e'er restored them, how now Captain?  Hors. 
My Lord, methinks I could do things past man  
I'm so renewed in vigour, I long most  
For violent exercise to take me down,  
My joy's so high in blood I'm above frailty.  Vor. 
My Lord of Kent?  Heng. 
Your loves unworthy Creature.  Vor. 
Seest thou this fair Chain? think upon the means  
To keep it linked for ever.  Heng. 
Oh my Lord,  
'Tis many degrees sundered from my hope,  
Besides Your Grace has a young virtuous Queen.  Vor. 
I say think on it.  Hors. 
If this wind hold I fall to my old disease:  Vor. 
There's no fault in thee but to come so late,  
All else is excellent, I chide none but fate.  Exeunt.   

ACT. 3.  

SCENA 1.  Enter Horsus and Roxena. Rox. 
I Have no conceit now that you ever loved me,  
But as lust led you for the time.  Hor. 
See, see.  Rox. 
Do you pine at my advancement, Sir?  Hor. 
Oh barrenness  
Of understanding! what a right love is this?  
'Tis you that fall, I that am reprehended;  
What height of honours, eminence of fortune  
Should ravish me from you?  Rox. 
Who can tell that, Sir?  
What's he can judge of a man's appetite  
Before he sees him eat? who knows the strength of any's constancy  
That never yet was tempted? we can call  
Nothing our own, if they be deeds to come,  
theyare only ours, when they are passed and done.  
How blessed are you above your apprehension,  
If your desire would lend you so much patience  
T'examine the adventurous condition  
Of our affections, which are full of hazard,  
And draw in the Time's goodness to defend us!  
First, this bold course of ours cannot last long,  
Nor ever does in any without shame,  
And that, you know, brings danger; and the greater  
My Father is in blood, as he is well risen,  
The greater will the storm of his rage be  
Against his bloods wronging: I have cast for this,  
'Tis not advancement that I love alone,  
'Tis love of shelter, to keep shame unknown.  Hor. 
Oh were I sure of thee, as 'tis impossible  
There to be ever sure where there's no hold,  
Your pregnant hopes should not be long in rising.  Rox. 
By what assurance have you held me thus far  
Which you found firm, despair you not in that.  Hor. 
True, that was good security for the time,  
But in a change of state, when you're advanced  
You women have a French toy in your pride,  
You make your friend come crouching; or perhaps,  
To bow in th'hams the better, he is put  
To compliment three hours with your chief woman,  
Then perhaps not admitted, no nor ever,  
That's the more noble fashion: forgetfulness  
Is the most pleasing virtue they can have  
That do spring up from nothing, for by the same  
Forgetting all they forget whence they came;  
An excellent property of oblivion.  Rox. 
I pity all the fortunes of poor women  
In my own unhappiness, when we have given  
All that we have to men, what's our requital?  
An ill-faced jealousy, that resembles much  
The mistrustfulness of an insatiate thief  
That scarce believes he has all, though he has stripped  
The true man naked, and left nothing on him  
But the hard cord that binds him: so are we  
First robbed, and then left bound by jealousy.  
Take reasons advice, and you'll find it impossible  
For you to lose me in this king's advancement  
Who's an Usurper here, and as the Kingdom  
So shall he have my love by usurpation,  
The right shall be in thee still; my ascension  
To dignity is but to waft thee higher,  
And all Usurpers have the falling-sickness,  
They cannot keep up long.  Hor. 
May credulous man  
Put all his confidence in so weak a Bottom  
And make a saving Voyage?  Rox. 
Nay as gainful  
As ever man yet made.  Hor. 
Go, take thy fortunes,  
Aspire with my consent, so thy ambition will be sure to prosper.  
Speak the fair certainties of Britain's Queen  
Home to thy wishes.  Rox. 
Speak in hope I may  
But not in certainty.  Hor. 
I say in both,  
Hope and be sure I'll soon remove the Let that stands  
Between thee and thy Glory.  Rox. 
Life of Love!  
If lost Virginity can win such a day  
I'll have no daughter but shall learn my way.  Exit. Hor. 
'Twill be good work for him that first instructs them,  
May be some Son of mine, got by this woman too,  
May match with their own Sisters. Peace, 'tis he,  Enter Vortiger. 
Invention fail me not, 'tis a gallant credit  
To marry one's Whore bravely.  Vor. 
Have I power  
Of life and death, and cannot command ease  
In my own blood? After I was a King  
I thought I never should have felt pain more,  
That there had been a ceasing of all passions  
And common stings, which Subjects use to feel,  
That were created with a patience fit  
For all extremities: But such as we  
Know not the way to suffer, than to do it  
How most preposterous 'tis? tush, riddles, riddles.  
I'll break through custom, why should not the mind,  
The nobler part that's of us, be allowed  
Change of affections, as our Bodies are  
Change of food and raiment? I'll have it so.  
All fashions appear strange at first production,  
But this would be well followed: Oh Captain!  Hor. 
My Lord I grieve for you, I scarce fetch breath  
But a sigh hangs at the end of it, but this  
Is not the way, if you'd give way to counsel.  Vor. 
Set me right then, or I shall heavily curse thee  
For lifting up my understanding to me  
To show that I was wrong; Ignorance is safe,  
I then slept happily; If knowledge mend me not  
Thou hast committed a most cruel sin,  
To wake me into judgement and then leave me.  Hor. 
I will not leave you, Sir, that were rudely done,  
First you've a flame too open and too violent,  
Which like bloodguiltiness in an Offender  
Betrays him, when nought else can: out with it, Sir,  
Or let some cunning coverture be made  
Before your practice enters, 'twill spoil all else.  Vor. 
Why, look you, Sir, I can be as calm as silence  
All the while music plays, strike on, sweet friend,  
As mild and merry as the heart of Innocence;  
I prithee take my temper; has a Virgin  
A heat more modest?  Hor. 
He does well to ask me,  
I could have told him once; why here's a government,  
There's not a sweeter amity in friendship  
Then in this League twixt you and health.  Vor. 
Then since  
Thou find'st me capable of happiness  
Instruct me with the practice.  Hor. 
What will you say, my Lord,  
If I ensnare her in an action of lust?  
Oh there were art to the life, but 'tis impossible,  
I prithee flatter me no farther with it;  
Fie, so much sin as goes to make up that  
Will never prevail with her: why I'll tell you, Sir,  
She's so sin-killing modest, that if only  
To move the question were enough Adultery  
To cause a separation, there's no Gallant  
So brassy impudent durst undertake  
The words that shall belong to't.  Hor. 
Say you so, Sir?  
There's nothing made in the world, but has a way to't,  
Though some be harder than the rest to find,  
Yet one there is, that's certain; and I think  
I have took the course to light on it.  Vor. 
Oh I pray for't.  Hor. 
I heard you lately say (from whence, my Lord,  
My practice received life first) that your Queen  
Still consecrates her time to Contemplation,  
Takes solitary walks.  Vor. 
Nay late and early  
Commands her weak Guard from her, which are but  
Women at strongest.  Hor. 
I like all this, my Lord,  
And now, Sir, you shall know what net is used  
In many places to catch modest women,  
Such as will never yield by prayers or gifts:  
Now there be some will catch up men as fast,  
But those She-Fowlers nothing concern us,  
Their Birding is at Windows, ours abroad,  
Where Ringdoves should be caught, that's married wives,  
Or chaste Maids, what the appetite has a mind to.  Vor. 
Make no pause then.  Hor. 
The honest Gentlewoman,  
When nothing will prevail (I pity her now)  
Poor Soul, she's enticed forth by her own Sex  
To be betrayed to man, who in some Garden-house  
Or remote walk, taking his lustful time,  
Binds darkness on her eyelids, surprises her,  
And having a Coach ready, turns her in,  
Hurrying her where he list for the sin's safety,  
Making a rape of honour without words,  
And at the low ebb of his lust, perhaps  
Some three days after, sends her coached again  
To the same place, and, which would make most mad,  
She's robbed of all, yet knows not where she's robbed,  
There's the dear precious mischief.  Vor. 
Is this practised?  Hor. 
Too much, my Lord, to be so little known,  
A springe to catch a maidenhead after Sunset,  
Clip it, and send it home again to the City,  
There 'twill ne'er be perceived.  Vor. 
My raptures want expression,  
I conceit enough to make me fortunate, and thee great.  Exit. Hor. 
I praise it then, my Lord, I knew 'twould take.  Exit.  

ACT. 3. SCENA 2.  Enter Castiza (with a Book) and two Ladies. Cast. 
MEthinks you live strange lives! When I see it not  
It grieves me less, you know how to ease me then;  
If you but knew how well I loved your absence  
You would bestow it upon me without asking.  1 La. 
Faith, for my part, were it no more for  
Ceremony then for Love,  
You should walk long enough without my attendance,  
And so think all my Fellows, though they say nothing;  
Books in women's hands are as much against the hair, methinks,  
As to see men wear stomachers, or night rails;  
She that has the Green-sickness and should follow her counsel,  
Would die like an Ass, and go to the worms like a salad;  
Not I, so long as such a Creature as man is made,  
She is a fool that knows not what he is good for.  Exeunt Ladies. Cast. 
Though among lives elections, that of Virgin  
I did speak noblest of; yet it has pleased the King  
To send me a contented blessedness  
In that of marriage, which I ever doubted;  Enter Vortiger and Horsus disguised. 
I see the king's affection was a true one,  
It lasts and holds out long, that's no mean virtue  
In a commanding man, though in great fear  
At first I was enforced to venture on it.  Vor. 
All's happy, clear and safe.  Hor. 
The rest comes gently on.  Vor. 
Be sure you seize on her full sight at first,  
For fear of my discovery.  Hor. 
Now fortune, and I am sped.  Cast. 
Treason, treason!  Hor. 
Sirrah, how stand you? prevent noise and clamour,  
Or death shall end thy Service.  Vor. 
A sure Cunning.  Cast. 
Oh rescue, rescue.  Hor. 
Dead her voice, away, make speed.  Cast. 
No help, no succour?  Hor. 
Louder yet, extend  
Your voice to the last rack, you shall have leave now,  
You're far from any pity.  Cast. 
What's my sin?  Hor. 
Contempt of man, and he's a noble Creature,  
And takes it in ill part to be despised.  Cast. 
I never despised any.  Hor: 
No? you hold us  
Unworthy to be loved, what call you that?  Cast. 
I have a Lord disproves you.  Hor. 
Pish, your Lord?  
You're bound to love your Lord, that is no thanks to you;  
You should love those you are not tied to love,  
That's the right trial of a woman's Charity:  Cast. 
I know not what you are, nor what my fault is,  
If it be life you seek, whate'er you be,  
Use no immodest words, and take it from me,  
You kill me more in talking sinfully  
Then acting Cruelty; be so far pitiful  
To end me without words.  Hor. 
Long may you live,  
'Tis the wish of a good Subject, 'tis not life  
That I thirst after, Loyalty forbid  
I should commit such Treason; you mistake me,  
I have no such bloody thought, only your love  
Shall content me.  Cast. 
What said you, Sir?  Hor. 
Thus plainly,  
To strip my words as naked as my purpose,  
I must and will enjoy thee: gone already?  
Look to her, bear her up, she goes apace,  
I feared this still, and therefore came provided,  
There's that will fetch life from a dying spark  
And make it spread a Furnace, she's well straight,  
Pish, let her go, she stands upon my knowledge,  
Or else she counterfeits, I know the virtue.  Cast. 
Never did sorrows in afflicted woman  
Meet with such cruelties, such hard hearted ways  
Humane invention never found before.  
To call back life to live is but ill taken  
By some departing Soul; then to force mine back  
To an eternal act of death in lust,  
What is it, but most execrable?  Hor. 
So, so;  
But this is from my business, list to me,  
Here you are now far from all hope of friendship,  
Save what you make in me, scape me you cannot,  
Send your Soul that assurance; that resolved on,  
You know not who I am, nor ever shall,  
I need not fear you then; but give consent,  
Then with the faithfulness of a true friend  
I'll open myself to you, fall your servant,  
As I do now in hope, proud of submission,  
And seal the deed up with eternal secrecy,  
Not death shall pluck it from me, much less the king's  
Authority or torture.  Vor. 
I admire him.  Cast. 
Oh, Sir, whate'er you are, I teach my knee  
Thus to requite you, be content to take  
Only my sight, as ransom for my honour,  
And where you have but mocked my eyes with darkness  
Pluck them quite out; all outward lights of body  
I'll spare most willingly, but take not from me  
That which must guide me to another world,  
And leave me dark for ever, fast without  
That cursed pleasure which will make two souls  
Endure a famine everlastingly.  Hor. 
This almost moves.  Vor. 
By this light he'll be taken.  Hor. 
I'll wrestle down all pity, what, will you consent?  Cast. 
I'll never be so guilty.  Hor. 
Farewell words then,  
You hear no more of me, but thus I seize you.  Cast. 
Oh if a power above be reverenced by thee,  
I bind thee by that name, by manhood, nobleness,  Vort. snatches her away. 
And all the charms of honour.  Hor. 
Ah ha, here's one caught  
For an example, never was poor Lady  
So mocked into false terror, with what anguish  
She lies with her own Lord? now she could curse  
All into barrenness, and beguile herself by it:  
Conceit's a powerful thing, and is indeed  
Placed as a palate to taste grief, or love,  
And as that relishes so we approve:  
Hence comes it that our taste is so beguiled,  
Changing pure blood for some that's mixed and soiled.  Exeunt.  

ACT. 3. SCENA 3.  Enter Hengist. Heng. 
A Fair and fortunate Constellation reigned  
When we set foot here, for from his first gift  
(Which to a king's unbounded eyes seemed nothing)  
The Compass of a Hide, I have erected  
A strong and spacious Castle, yet contained myself  
Within my limits, without check or censure.  
Thither, with all th'observance of a Subject,  
The liveliest witness of a grateful mind,  
I purpose to invite him and his Queen  
And feast them nobly.  Bar. 
We will enter, Sir,  
'Tis a state business, of a twelvemonth long,  
The chusing of a Mayor.  Heng. 
What noise is that?  Tay. 
Sir, we must speak with the good Earl of Kent,  
Though we were never brought up to keep adoor,  
We are as honest, Sir, as some that do.  Enter a Gentleman. Heng. 
Now, Sir, what's the occasion of their clamours?  Gen. 
Please you, my Lord, a company of Townsmen  
Are bent against all denials and resistance  
To have speech with your Lordship, and that you  
Must end a difference, which none else can do.  Heng. 
Why then there's reason in their violence,  
Which I ne'er looked for: first let in but one,  Exit Gentleman. 
And as we relish him the rest come on.  
'Tis no safe wisdom in a rising man  
To slight off such as these, nay rather these  
Are the foundations of a lofty work,  
We cannot build without them, and stand sure.  
He that first ascends to a mountain's top  
Must begin at the foot. Now, Sir, who comes?  Enter Gent. Gen. 
They cannot yet agree, my Lord, of that;  
They say 'tis worse now than it was before,  
For where the difference was but between two,  
Upon this coming first theyare all at odds;  
One says he shall lose his place in the Church by't,  
Another will not do his wife that wrong,  
And by their good wills they would all come first.  
The strife continues in most heat, my Lord,  
Between a Country Barber and a Tailor  
Of the same Town, and which your Lordship names  
'Tis yielded by consent that he shall enter.  Heng. 
Here's no sweet quoyl, I am glad they are so reasonable,  
Call in the Barber, if the Tale be long  
He'll cut it short I trust, that's all the hope;  Enter Barber. 
Now, Sir, are you the Barber?  Bar. 
Oh most barbarous!  
A Corrector of enormities in hair, my Lord,  
A promoter of upper lips, or what your Lordship,  
In the neatness of your discretion, shall think fit to call me.  Hong. 
Very good, I see you have this without book,  
But what's your business?  Bar. 
Your Lordship comes to a very high point indeed,  
The business, Sir, lies about the head.  Heng. 
That's work for you.  Bar. 
No, my good Lord, there is a Corporation,  
A Body, a kind of Body.  Heng. 
The Barber is out at the Body, let in the Tailor;  
This 'tis to reach beyond your own profession,  
When you let go your head, you lose your memory:  
You have no business with the Body.  Bar. 
Yes, Sir,  
I am a Barber-Chirurgeon, I have had something to do with it  
In my time, my Lord, and I was never so out of the body  
As I have been of late, send me good luck, I'll marry some whore  
But I'll get in again.  Heng. 
Now, Sir, a good discovery come from you.  Tay. 
I will rip up the Linings to your Lordship,  
And show what stuff 'tis made of; for the Body  
Or Corporation—  Heng. 
There the Barber left indeed.  Tay. 
'Tis pieced up of two fashions.  Heng. 
A patched Town the whilst.  Tay. 
Nor can we go through stitch, my noble Lord,  
The choler is so great in the one party.  
And as in linsey-woolsey wove together,  
One piece makes several suits, so, upright Earl,  
Our linsey-woolsey hearts make all this coil.  Heng. 
What's all this now? I am ne'er the wiser yet, call in the (rest:  
Now, Sirs, what are you?  Glo. 
Sir, reverence on your Lordship,  
I am a Glover.  Heng. 
What needs that then?  Glo. 
Sometimes I deal in dog's leather, Sir, reverence the while.  Heng. 
Well, to the purpose, if there be any towards.  Glo. 
I were an Ass else, saving your Lordship's presence;  
We have a Body, but our Town wants a hand,  
A hand of Justice, a worshipful Master Mayor:  Heng. 
This is well handled yet, a man may take some hold  
On it. You want a Mayor?  Glo. 
Right, but there's two at fifty cuffs about it, Sir, as I may say  
At daggers drawing, but that I cannot say, because they have none;  
And you being Earl of Kent, our Town does say  
Your Lordship's voice shall part and end the fray.  Heng. 
This is strange work for me, well Sir, what be they?  Glo. 
The one is a Tanner.  Heng. 
Fie, I shall be too partial,  
I owe too much affection to that Trade  
To put it to my voice; what is his name?  Glo. 
Simon.  Heng. 
How Simon too?  Glo. 
Nay 'tis but Simon one, Sir,  
The very same Simon that sold your Lordship a Hide.  Heng. 
What sayest thou?  Glo. 
That's all his glory, Sir, he got his Master's  
Widow by it presently, a rich tanner's wife, she has set him up,  
He was her Foreman a long time in her other husband's days.  Heng. 
Now let me perish in my first aspiring  
If the pretty simplicity of his fortune  
Do not most highly take me, 'tis a presage, methinks,  
Of bright succeeding happiness to mine  
When my fate's Gloworm casts forth such a shine.  
And what are those that do contend with him?  Tay. 
Marry, my noble Lord, a Fustian Weaver.  Heng. 
How, he offer  
To compare with Simon! he a fit match for him!  Bar. 
Hark, hark, my Lord, here they come both in a pelting chafe  
From the townhouse.  Sym. 
How, before me? I scorn thee,  
Thou wattle-faced singed Pig.  Oliver. 
Pig? I defy thee,  
My Uncle was a Jew, and scorned the motion.  Sym. 
I list not brook thy vaunts, compare with me?  
Thou Spindle of Concupiscence, 'tis well known  
Thy first wife was a Flax-wench.  Ol. 
But such a Flax-wench  
Would I might never want at my need, nor any friend of mine,  
My Neighbours knew her, thy wife was but a hempen halter to her.  Sym. 
Use better words, I'll hang thee in my year else,  
Let who will choose thee afterwards.  Glo. 
Peace for shame,  
Quench your great spirit, do not you see his Lordship?  Heng. 
What, Master Simonides?  Sym. 
Symo ides?  
What a fair name hath he made of Simon!  
Then he's an Ass that calls me Simon again,  
I am quite out of love with it.  Heng. 
Give me thy hand,  
I love thy fortunes, and like a man that thrives.  Sym. 
I took a widow, my Lord,  
To be the best piece of ground to thrive on,  
And by my faith, my Lord, there's a young Simonides,  
Like a green Onion, peeping up already.  Heng. 
Thou'st a good lucky hand.  Sym. 
I have somewhat, Sir.  Heng. 
But why to me is this election offered?  
The chusing of a Mayor goes by most voices.  Sym. 
True, Sir, but most of our Townsmen are so hoarse  
With drinking, there's not a good voice among them all.  Heng. 
Are you content to put it to all these then?  
To whom I liberally resign my Interest  
To prevent censures.  Sym. 
I speak first, my Lord.  Ol. 
Though I speak last, my Lord, I am not least,  
If they will cast away a Town-born Child, they may,  
It is but dying some forty years before my time.  Heng. 
I leave you to your choice awhile.  Exit. All. 
Your good Lordship.  Sym. 
Look you Neighbours, before you be too hasty, let Oliver  
The Fustian-Weaver, stand as fair as I do, and the Devil  
Do him good on't.  Ol. 
I do, thou upstart Callymoocher, I do,  
'Tis well known to the Parish I have been twice ale-cionner,  
Thou mushroom, that shot'st up in a night,  
By lying with thy Mistress.  Sym. 
Faith thou art such a spiny Baldrib,  
All the Mistresses in the Town will never get thee up.  Ol. 
I scorn to rise by a woman, as thou didst,  
My Wife shall rise by me.  Glo. 
I pray leave your Communication,  
We can do nothing else.  Ol. 
I gave that Barber a Fustian-Suit,  
And twice redeemed his Cittern, he may remember me.  Sym. 
I fear no false measure but in that tailor,  
The Glover and the Button-maker are both cocksure;  
That collier's eye I like not:  
Now they consult, the matter is in brewing,  
Poor Gill my wife lies longing for the news,  
'Twill make her'a glad Mother.  All. 
A Simon, a Simon.  Sym. 
Good people I thank you all.  Ol. 
Wretch that I am,  
Tanner, thou hast curried savour.  Sym. 
I curry, I defy thy Fustian fume.  Ol. 
But I will prove a Rebel all thy year  
And raise up the seven deadly sins against thee.  Exit. Sym. 
The deadly sins will scorn to rise by thee,  
If they have any breeding,  
As commonly they are well brought up, 'tis not for every scab  
To be acquainted with them; but leaving the scab, to you good  
Neighbours now I bend my speech. First, to say more than a man  
Can say, I hold it not fit to be spoken; but to say what a man  
Ought to say, there I leave you also. I must confess your loves  
Have chosen a weak and unlearned man; that I can neither write  
Nor read you all can witness; yet not altogether so unlearned, but I  
Can set my mark to a Bond, if I would be so simple; an excellent  
Token of Government. Cheer you then, my hearts, you have done  
You know not what, there's a full point. There you must all  
Cough and hem.  Here they all cough and hem. 
Now touching our common adversary the Fustian-Weaver,  
Who threatens he will raise the deadly sins among us,  
Let them come, our Town is big enough to hold them,  
We will not so much disgrace it; besides you know  
A deadly sin will lie in a narrow hole; but when they think  
Themselves safest, and the web of their iniquity best woven,  
With the horse-strength of my Justice I will break through the  
Loom of their concupiscence, and make the Weaver go seek his  
Shuttle. Here you may cough and hem again, if you'll do me the  
Favour.  They cough and hem again. 
Why I thank you all, and it shall not go unrewarded.  
Now for the deadly sins, Pride, Sloth, Envy, Wrath; as for  
Covetousness and Gluttony, I'll tell you more when I come  
Out of my Office; I shall have time to try what they are,  
I will prove them soundly, and if I find Gluttony and Covetousness  
To be directly sins, I'll bury the one in the bottom of a Chest,  
And the other in the end of my Garden. But Sirs, for Lechery,  
I'll tickle that home myself, I'll not leave a Whore in the Town.  Bar. 
Some of your Neighbours must seek their  
Wives in the Country then.  Sym. 
Barber, be silent, I will  
Cut thy Comb else. To conclude, I will learn the villainy of  
All Trades, my own I know already; if there be any knavery  
In the Baker, I will boult it out; if in the Brewer, I will taste him  
Throughly, and piss out his iniquity at his own suck-hole:  
In a word, I will knock down all enormities like a Butcher,  
And send the Hide to my fellow Tanners.  All. 
A Simonides, a true Simonides indeed.  Enter Hengist and Roxena. Heng. 
How now, how goes your choice?  Tay. 
This is he, my Lord.  Sym. 
To prove I am the man, I am bold to take  
The upper hand of your Lordship:  
I'll not lose an inch of my honour.  Heng. 
Hold Sirs, there's some few Crowns to mend your feast,  
Because I like your choice.  Bar. 
Joy bless you, Sir,  
We'll drink your health with Trumpets.  Sym. 
I with sackbuts,  
That's the more solemn drinking for my state,  
No malt this year shall fume into my pate.  Exit cum suis. Heng. 
Continue still that favour in his love.  Rox. 
Nay with increase, my Lord, the flame grows greater,  
Though he has learned a better art of late  
To set a screen before it.  Enter Vortiger and Horsus. Heng. 
Speak lower.  Hor. 
Heard every word, my Lord.  Vor. 
Plainly?  Hor. 
Distinctly;  
The course I took was dangerous, but not failing,  
For I conveyed myself behind the Hangings  
Even just before his entrance.  Vor. 
'Twas well ventured.  Hor. 
I had such a woman's first and second longing in me  
To hear her how she would bear her mocked abuse  
After she was returned to privacy,  
I could have fasted out an Ember-week,  
And never thought of hunger, to have heard her;  
Then came your holy Lupus and Germanus.  Vor. 
Two holy Confessors.  Hor. 
At whose first sight  
I could perceive her fall upon her breast  
And cruelly afflict herself with sorrow;  
I never heard a sigh till I heard hers,  
Who after her Confession pitying her,  
Put her into a way of patience,  
Which now she holds, to keep it hid from you,  
There's all the pleasure that I took in't now,  
When I heard that my pains was well remembered.  
So with applying comforts and relief,  
They have brought it lower, to an easy grief.  
But yet the taste is not quite gone.  Vor. 
Still fortune  
Sits bettering our Inventions.  Enter Castiza. Hor. 
Here she comes.  Cast. 
Yonder's my Lord, oh I'll return again,  
Methinks I should not dare to look on him.  Hor. 
She's gone again.  Vor. 
It works the kindlier, Sir.  
Go now and call her back, she winds herself  
Into the snare so prettily, 'tis a pleasure  
To set toils for her.  Cast. 
He may read my shame  
Now in my blush.  Vor. 
Come you're so linked to holiness,  
So ta'en with contemplative desires,  
That the world has you, yet enjoys you not;  
You have been weeping too.  Cast. 
Not I, my Lord.  Vor. 
Trust me I fear you have, you're much to blame  
To yield so much to passion without cause.  
Is not some time enough for meditation?  
Must it lay title to your health and beauty,  
And draw them into times consumption too?  
'Tis too exacting for a holy faculty.  
My Lord of Kent? I prithee wake him, Captain,  
He reads himself asleep sure.  Hor. 
My Lord?  Vor. 
Nay,  
I'll take away your Book and bestow't here.  Heng. 
Your pardon, Sir.  Vor. 
Lady, you that delight in virgin's stories,  
And all chaste works, here's excellent reading for you;  
Make of that Book as made men do of favours,  
Which they grow sick to part from. And now, my Lord,  
You that have so conceitedly gone beyond me,  
And made so large use of a slender gift,  
Which we ne'er minded; I commend your thrift.  
And that your Building may to all Ages  
Carry the stamp and impress of your wit,  
It shall be called Thong-Castle.  Heng. 
How? my Lord,  
Thong-Castle! there your Grace quits me kindly.  Vor. 
'Tis fit Art should be known by its right name,  
You that can spread my gift, I'll spread your fame.  Heng. 
I thank your Grace for that.  Vor. 
And loved Lord,  
So well we do accept your Invitation,  
With all speed we'll set forwards.  Heng. 
Your Honour loves me.  Exit.   

ACT. 4.  

SCENA 1.  Enter Symon and all his Brethren, a Mace and Sword before him, meeting Vortiger, Castiza, Hengist, Roxena, Horsus, two Ladies. Sym. 
LO I, the Mayor of Quinborough by name,  
With all my Brethren, saving one that's lame,  
Are come as fast as fiery Mill-horse gallops  
To greet thy Grace, thy Queen and her fair Trollops.  
For reason of our coming do not look,  
It must be done, I find it i'th' Town-book;  
And yet not I myself, I cannot read,  
I keep a clerk to do those jobs for need.  
And now expect a rare conceit before Thong-Castle see thee;  
Reach me the thing to give the King, the other too I prithee:  
Now here they be for Queen and thee, the gift all steel & leather;  
But the conceit of mickle weight, and here they come together:  
To show two Loves must join in one, our Town presents by me  
This gilded Scabbard to the Queen, this Dagger unto thee.  Vor. 
Forbear your tedious and ridiculous duties,  
I hate them, as I do the roots of your  
Inconstant Rabble, I have felt your fits,  
Sheath up your Bounties with your Iron wits.  Exit cum sociis. Sym. 
Look Sirs, is his back turned?  All. 
It is, it is.  Sym. 
Then bless the good Earl of Kent, say I,  
I'll have this Dagger turned into a Pie,  
And eaten up for anger every bit on't.  
And when this pie shall be cut up by some rare cunning pie-man,  
They shall full lamentably sing, Put up thy Dagger Simon.  Ex.  

ACT. 4. SCENA 2.  Enter Hengist, Horsus, Vortiger, Devonshire, Stafford, Castiza, Roxena, Ladies. Heng. 
A Welcome (mighty Lord) may appear costlier,  
More full of toil and talk, show and conceit,  
But one more stored with thankful love and truth  
I forbid all the sons of men to boast of.  Vor. 
Why there's a Fabric that implies eternity,  
The building plain, but most substantial;  
Methinks it looks as if it mocked all ruin,  
Saving that Masterpiece of Consummation,  
The end of time, which must consume even ruin,  
And eat that into Cinders.  Heng. 
There's no brass  
Would pass your praise, my Lord, 'twould last beyond it,  
And shame our durablest metal.  Vor. 
Horsus!  Hor. 
My Lord!  Vor. 
This is the time I have chosen; here's a full meeting,  
And here will I disgrace her.  Hor. 
'Twill be sharp, my Lord.  Vor. 
Oh 'twill be best.  Hor. 
Why here's the Earl her Father.  Vor. 
I and the Lord her Uncle, that's the height of it,  
Invited both on purpose, to rise sick  
Full of shames surfeit.  Hor. 
And that's shrewd by'rer lady,  
It ever sticks close to the ribs of honour;  
Great men are never sound men after it,  
It leaves some ache or other in their names still,  
Which their posterity feels at every weather.  Vor. 
Mark but the least presentment of occasion,  
As these times yield enough, and then mark me:  Hor. 
My observance is all yours, you know't, my Lord;  
What careful ways some take to abuse themselves!  
But as there be Assurers of men's Goods  
'Gainst storms or Pirates, which gives Adventurers Courage,  
So such there must be to make up man's theft,  
Or there would be no woman Venturer left.  
See, now they find their seats, what a false knot  
Of Amity he ties about her Arm,  
Which rage must part? in marriage 'tis no wonder,  
Knots knit with kisses oft are broke with thunder  
Music? than I have done, I always learn  
To give my betters place.  Vor. 
Where's Captain Horsus?  
Sit, sit, we'll have a health anon to all good services.  Hor. 
They are poor in these days, th'had rather have the Carp  
Then the health; he hears me not,  
And most great men are deaf on that side.  Vor. 
My Lord of Kent, I thank you for this welcome,  
It came unthought of in the sweetest Language  
That ever my soul relished.  Heng. 
You are pleased, my Lord,  
To raise my happiness for slight deservings,  
To show what power's in Princes; not in us  
Ought worthy, 'tis in you that makes us thus.  
I am chiefly sad, my Lord, your Queen's not merry.  Vor. 
So honour bless me, he has found the way  
To my grief strangely. Is there no delight——  Cast. 
My Lord, I wish not any, nor is't needful,  
I am as I was ever.  Vor. 
That's not so.  Cast. 
How? oh my fears!  Vor. 
When she writ Maid, my Lord,  
You knew her otherwise.  Devon. 
To speak but truth,  
I never knew her a great friend to mirth,  
Nor taken much with any one delight,  
Though there be many seemly and honourable  
To give content to Ladies without taxing.  Vor. 
My Lord of Kent, this to thy full deserts,  
Which intimates thy higher flow to honour.  Heng. 
Which, like a river, shall return in service  
To the great Master-Fountain.  Vor: 
Where's your Lord?  
I missed him not till now; Lady, and yours?  
No marvel than we were so out of the way  
Of all pleasant discourse; they are the keys  
Of humane Music, sure at their Nativities  
Great Nature signed a general Patent to them  
To take up all the mirth in a whole Kingdom.  
What's their employment now?  1 Lad. 
May it please your Grace,  
We never are so far acquainted with them,  
Nothing we know but what they cannot keep,  
That's even the fashion of them all, my Lord.  Vor. 
It seems you've great thought in their constancies,  
And they in yours, you dare so trust each other.  2 Lad. 
Hope well we do, my Lord, we have reason for it,  
Because they say brown men are honestest,  
But she's a fool will swear for any colour.  Vor. 
They would for yours.  2 Lad. 
Truth 'tis a doubtful question,  
And I'd be loath to put mine to't my Lord.  Vor. 
Faith dare you swear for yourselves? that's a plain question.  2 Lad. 
My Lord?  Vor. 
You cannot deny that with honour,  
And since 'tis urged, I'll put you to't in troth.  1 Lad. 
May it please your Grace?  Vor. 
'Twould please me very well,  
And here's a Book, mine never goes without one,  
She's an example to you all for purity;  
Come swear (I have sworn you shall) that you ne'er knew  
The will of any man, besides your husbands.  2 Lad. 
I'll swear, my Lord, as far as my remembrance.  Vor. 
How? your remembrance! that were strange.  1 Lad. 
Your Grace  
Hearing our just excuse, will not say so.  Vor. 
Well, what's your just excuse? you're ne'er without some.  1 Lad. 
I am often taken with a sleep, my Lord,  
The loudest thunder cannot waken me,  
Not if a cannon's burden be discharged  
Close by my ear; the more may be my wrong,  
There can be no infirmity, my Lord, more excusable in any woman.  2 Lad. 
And I am so troubled with the Mother too,  
I have often called in help, I know not whom,  
Three at once have been too weak to keep me down.  Vor. 
I perceive there's no fastening: well fare one then  
That never deceives faith's Anchor of her hold,  
Come at all seasons. Here, be thou the Star  
To guide those erring women, show the way  
Which I will make them follow: why dost start,  
Draw back, and look so pale?  Cast. 
My Lord?  Vor. 
Come hither,  
Nothing but take that Oath; thou'st take a thousand,  
A thousand! Nay a Million, or as many  
As there be Angels Registers of Oaths.  
Why look thee, overfearful Chastity,  
(That sinnest in nothing but in too much niceness)  
I'll begin first, and swear for thee myself,  
I know thee a perfection so unstained,  
So sure, so absolute, I will not pant on it,  
But catch time greedily. By all those blessings  
That blow truth into fruitfulness, and those curses  
That with their barren breaths blast perjury,  
Thou art as pure as Sanctities best shrine  
From all man's mixture, save what's lawful mine.  Cast. 
Oh Heaven forgive him, he has forsworn himself.  Vor. 
Come, 'tis but going now my way:  Cast. 
That's bad enough.  Vor. 
I have cleared all doubts you see.  Cast. 
Good my Lord spare me.  Vor. 
How? it grows later than so, for modesty's sake  
Make more speed this way.  Cast. 
Pardon me, my Lord,  
I cannot.  Vor. 
What?  Cast. 
I dare not.  Vor. 
Fail all confidence in thy weak kind for ever.  Devon. 
Here's a storm  
Able to make all of our name inhumid,  
And raise them from their sleeps of peace and fame  
To set the honours of their bloods right here  
Hundred years after; a perpetual motion  
Has their true glory been from seed to seed,  
And cannot be choked now with a poor grain  
Of dust and earth, her Uncle and myself  
Wild in this tempest, as ever robbed man's peace,  
Will undertake upon life's deprivation  
She shall accept this oath.  Vor. 
You do but call me then  
Into a world of more despair and horror;  
Yet since so wilfully you stand engaged  
In high scorn to be touched, with expedition  
Perfect your undertakings with your fames,  
Or by the Issues of abused belief  
I'll take the forfeit of Lives, Lands, and Honours,  
And make one ruin serve our joys and yours.  Cast. 
Why here's a height of miseries never reached yet,  
I lose myself and others.  Devon. 
You may see  
How much we lay in Balance with your goodness,  
And had we more, it went; for we presume  
You cannot be religious and so vile.  Cast. 
As to forswear myself, 'tis truth, great Sir,  
The honour of your Bed hath been abused.  Vor. 
Oh beyond patience!  Cast. 
But give me hearing, Sir,  
'Twas far from my consent, I was surprised  
By Villains, and so raught.  Vor. 
Hear you that, Sirs?  
Oh cunning texture to enclose Adultery!  
Mark but what subtle veil her sin puts on,  
Religion brings her to confession first,  
Then steps in Art to sanctify that lust.  
'Tis likely you could be surprised.  Cast. 
My Lord!  Vor. 
I'll hear no more, our Guard, seize on those Lords:  Devon. 
We cannot perish now too fast, make speed  
To swift destruction; he breathes most accurst  
That lives so long to see his name die first.  Hor. 
Here's no dear villainy!  Heng. 
Let him entreat, Sir,  
That falls in saddest grief for this event,  
Which ill begins the fortune of this Building, my Lord.  Rox. 
What if he should cause me to swear too, Captain?  
You know I am as far to seek in honesty  
As the worst here can be; I should be shamed too.  Hor. 
Why, fool, they swear by that we worship not,  
So you may swear your heart out, and ne'er hurt yourself.  Rox. 
That was well thought on, I had quite lost myself else.  Vor. 
You shall prevail in noble suits, my Lord,  
But this does shame the speaker.  Hor. 
I'll step in now,  
Though it shall be to no purpose; good my Lord  
Think on your noble and most hopeful Issue  
Lord Vortimer, the Prince.  Vor. 
A Bastard, Sir,  
I would his life were in my fury now.  Cast. 
That injury stirs my Soul to speak the truth  
Of his conception; here I take the Book, my Lord:  
By all the glorified rewards of Virtue  
And prepared punishments for consents in sin,  
A Queen's hard sorrow ne'er supplied a Kingdom  
With Issue more legitimate than Vortimer.  Vor. 
This takes not out the stain of present shame,  
Continuance crowns desert, she ne'er can go  
For perfect honest that's not always so.  
Beshrew thy heart for urging this excuse,  
Thou'st justified her somewhat.  Hor. 
To small purpose.  Vor. 
Among so many women not one here  
Dare swear a simple Chastity! here's an Age  
To propagate virtue in: since I have begun,  
I'll shame you all together, and so leave you.  
My Lord of Kent!  Heng. 
Your Highness?  Vor. 
That's your Daughter?  Heng. 
Yes my good Lord.  Vor. 
Though I am your Guest today,  
And should be less austere to you or yours,  
In this case pardon me, I may not spare her.  Heng. 
Then her own goodness friend her; she comes my Lord.  Vor. 
The tender reputation of a Maid  
Makes your honour, or else nothing can;  
The oath you take is not for truth to man,  
But to your own white soul, a mighty Task;  
What dare you do in this?  Rox. 
My Lord, as much  
As Chastity can put a woman to,  
I ask no favour; and t'approve the purity  
Of what my habit and my time professeth;  
As likewise to requite all courteous censure,  
Here I take oath I am as free from man  
As truth from falsehood, or sanctity from slain.  Vor. 
Oh thou treasure that ravishes the possessor!  
I know not where to speed so well again,  
I'll keep thee while I have thee; here's a Fountain  
To spring forth Princes, and the seeds of Kingdoms.  
Away with that infection of black honour, and those her leprous pledges,  
Here will we store succession with true peace,  Exeunt all but Horsus. 
And of pure Virgins grace the poor increase.  Hor. 
Ha ha, he's well provided now, here struck my fortunes.  
With what an impudent confidence she swore honest,  
Having th'advantage of the Oath! Precious Whore.  
Methinks I should not hear from fortune next  
Under an Earldom now; she cannot spend  
A night so idly, but to make a Lord  
With ease methinks and play: the Earl of Kent  
Is calm and smooth, like a deep dangerous water;  
He has some secret way, I know his blood,  
The grave's not greedier, nor hell's Lord more proud.  
Something will hap; for this astonishing choice  
Strikes pale the Kingdom, at which I rejoice.  Exit. Dumb show. Enter Lupus, Germanus, Devonshire, and Stafford, leading Vortimer, and Crown him: Vortiger comes to them in passion, they neglect him. Enter Roxena in fury expressing discontent, then they lead out Vortimer; Roxena gives two Villains gold to murder him, they swear performance and go with her: Vortiger offers to run on his sword, Horsus prevents him, and persuades him; the Lords bring in Vortimer dead; Vortiger mourns and submits to them, they swear him, and Crown him. Then Enters Hengist with Saxons, Vortiger draws, threatens expulsion, and then sends a Parley, which Hengist seems to grant by laying down his weapons, so all depart severally. Enter Raynulphus. Ray. 
Of Pagan blood a Queen being chose,  
Roxena hight, the Britain's rose  
For Vortimer, and crowned him King,  
But she soon poisoned that sweet Spring.  
Then unto Rule they did restore  
Vortiger, and him they swore  
Against the Saxons; they (constrained)  
Begged Peace, Treaty, and obtained;  
And now in numbers equally  
Upon the Plain near Salisbury,  
A peaceful meeting they decreen  
Like men of love, no Weapon seen.  
But Hengist, that ambitious Lord,  
Full of guile, corrupts his word,  
As the sequel too well proves;  
On that your eyes, on us your loves.  Exit. Enter Hengist with Saxons. Heng. 
If we let slip this opportuneful hour,  
Take leave of fortune, certainty, or thought  
Of ever fixing; we are loose at root,  
And the least storm may rend us from the bosom  
Of this Lands hopes for ever. But, dear Saxons,  
Fasten we now, and our unshaken firmness  
Will endure after Ages.  Sax. 
We are resolved, my Lord.  Heng. 
Observe you not how Vortiger the King,  
Base in submission, threatened our expulsion,  
His arm held up against us? Is it not time  
To make our best prevention? what should check me?  
He has perfected that great work in our Daughter,  
And made her Queen, she can ascend no higher,  
Therefore be quick, dispatch; here, every man  
Receive into the service of his Vengeance  
An instrument of Steel, which will unseen  
Lurk like a snake under the innocent shade  
Of a spred Summer-leaf, there fly you on,  
Take heart, the Commons love us, those removed  
That are the nerves, our greatness stands improved.  Sax. 
Give us the word, my Lord, and we are perfect.  Heng. 
That's true, the word, I lose myself. Nemp your Sexes.  
It shall be that.  Sax. 
Enough Sir, than we strike.  Heng. 
But the King's mine, take heed you touch him not.  Sax. 
We shall not be at leisure, never fear it,  
We shall have work enough of our own, my Lord.  Enter Vortiger and British Lords. Heng. 
Calm looks but stormy souls possess you all.  Vor. 
We see you keep your words in all points firm.  Heng. 
No longer may we beast of so much breath  
As goes to a word's making, then of care  
In the preserving of it, when 'tis made.  Vor. 
You're in a virtuous way, my Lord of Kent,  
And since both sides are met like Sons of peace,  
All other arms laid by in signs of favour  
If our conditions be embraced.  Heng. 
They are:  Vor. 
We'll use no other but these only here.  Heng. 
Nempe your Sexes:  Brit. 
Treason, treason!  Heng. 
Follow it to the heart, my trusty Saxons,  
It is your liberty, your wealth and honour. Soft, you are mine, my Lord.  Vor. 
Take me not basely, when all sense & strength  
Lies bound up in amazement at this treachery.  
What Devil hath breathed this everlasting part  
Of falsehood into thee?  Heng. 
Let it suffice,  
I have you, and will hold you Prisoner,  
As fast as death holds your best props in silence:  
We know the hard conditions of our peace,  
Slavery or diminution, which we hate  
With a joint loathing: may all perish thus  
That seek to subjugate or lessen us.  Vor. 
Oh the strange nooks of guile or subtlety,  
When man so cunningly lies hid from man!  
Who could expect such treason from thy breast,  
Such thunder from thy voice? or takest thou pride  
To imitate the fair uncertainty  
Of a bright day, that teems a sudden storm,  
When the world least expects one? but of all  
I'll ne'er trust fair sky in a man again,  
There's the deceitful weather; will you heap  
More guilt upon you, by detaining me,  
Like a Cup taken after a sore surfeit  
Even in contempt of health and heaven together?  
What seek you?  Heng. 
Ransom for your Liberty  
As I shall like of, or you ne'er obtain it.  Vor. 
Here's a most headlong dangerous ambition,  
Sow you the seeds of your aspiring hopes  
In blood and treason, and must I pay for them?  Heng. 
Have not I raised you to this height of pride?  
A work of my own merry, since you enforce it.  Vor. 
There's even the general thanks of all Aspirers,  
When they have all a Kingdom can impart,  
They write above it still their own desert.  Heng. 
I have writ mine true, my Lord.  Vor. 
That's all their sayings.  
Have not I raised thy daughter to a Queen?  Heng. 
You have the harmony of your pleasure for it,  
You Crown your own desires, what's that to me?  Vor. 
And what will Crown yours, Sir?  Heng. 
Faith things of reason,  
I demand Kent.  Vor. 
Why you've the Earldom of it.  Heng. 
The Kingdom of't I mean, without control,  
In full possession.  Vor. 
This is strange in you.  Heng. 
It seems you're not acquainted with my blood  
To call this strange.  Vor. 
Never was King of Kent  
But who was general King.  Heng. 
I'll be the first then,  
Every thing has beginning.  Vor. 
No less Title?  Heng. 
Not if you hope for liberty, my Lord.  
So dear a happiness would not be wronged with slighting.  Vor. 
Very well, take it, I resign it.  Heng. 
Why I thank your Grace.  Vor. 
Is your great thirst yet satisfied?  Heng. 
Faith, my Lord,  
There's yet behind a pair of teeming Sisters,  
Norfolk and Suffolk, and I have done with you.  Vor. 
You've got a dangerous thirst of late, my Lord,  
howe'er you came by it.  Heng. 
It behooves me then  
For my blood's health to seek all means to quench it.  Vor. 
Them too?  Heng. 
There will nothing be abated, I assure you.  Vor. 
You have me at advantage, he whom fate  
Does captivate must yield to all; take them.  Heng. 
And you your liberty and peace, my Lord,  
With our best love and wishes. Here's an hour  
Begins us Saxons in wealth, fame, and power.  Exit cum suis. Vor. 
Are these the noblest fruits and fairest requitals  
From works of our own raising?  
Methinks the murder of Constantius  
Speaks to me in the voice of it, and the wrongs  
Of our late Queen, slipped both into one Organ.  Enter Horsus. 
Ambition, hell, my own undoing, lust,  
And all the brood of Plagues conspire against me.  
I have not a friend left me.  Hor. 
My Lord, he dies  
That says it but yourself, were't that Thief-King  
That has so boldly stolen his honours from you,  
A treason that wrings tears from honest Manhood.  Vor. 
So rich am I now in thy love and pity  
I feel no loss at all; but we must part,  
My Queen and I to Cambria.  Hor. 
My Lord, and I not named,  
That have vowed lasting service to my lives extremest minute?  Vor. 
Is my sick fate blessed with so pure a friend!  Hor. 
My Lord, no space of Earth, nor breadth of Sea  
Shall divide me from you.  Vor. 
Oh faithful treasure!  
All my lost happiness is made up in thee.  Exit. Hor. 
I'll follow you through the world, to cuckold you,  
That's my way now; every one has his Toy  
While he lives here; some men delight in Building,  
A trick of Babel, which will ne'er be left;  
Some in consuming what was raised with toiling,  
Hengist in getting honour, I in spoiling.  Exit.   

ACT. 5.  

SCENA 1.  Enter Symon and his Brethren, Aminadab his Clerk. Sym. 
IS not that Rebel Oliver, that Traitor to my year,  
Prehended yet?  Ami. 
Not yet, so please your Worship.  Sym. 
Not yet sayst thou? how durst thou say, not yet,  
And see me present? thou malapert, that art good for nothing  
But to write and read. Is his Loom seized upon?  Ami. 
Yes, if it like your Worship, and 16 yards of Fustian.  Sym. 
Good, let a yard be saved to mend me between the Legs,  
The rest cut in pieces and given to the poor,  
'Tis Heretic Fustian, and should be burnt indeed,  
But being worn threadbare the shame will be as great,  
How think you Neighbours?  Glo. 
Greater methinks the longer it is wore,  
Where being once burnt it can be burnt no more.  Sym. 
True, wise and most senseless. How now, Sirrah,  Enter a Footman. 
What's he approaching here in dusty pumps?  Ami. 
A Footman, Sir, to the great King of Kent.  Sym. 
The King of Kent? shake him by the hand for me,  
theyare welcome, Footman, lo, my Deputy shakes thee,  
Come when my year is out, I'll do't myself.  
If 'twere a Dog that came from the King of Kent,  
I keep those Officers would shake him, I trow.  
And what's the News with thee, thou well stewed Footman?  Foot. 
The King my Master—  Sym. 
Ha?  Foot. 
With a few Saxons,  
Intends this night to make merry with you.  Sym. 
Merry with me? I should be sorry else, fellow,  
And take it in ill part, so tell Kent's King.  
Why was I chosen, but that great men should make  
Merry with me? there is a jest indeed;  
Tell him, I looked fort't, and me much he wrongs,  
If he forget Sym that cutout his thongs.  Foot. 
I'll run with your worship's answer.  Exit. Sym. 
Do I prithee;  
That fellow will be roasted against supper,  
He's half enough already, his Brows baste him.  
The King of Kent! the King of kirsendom  
Shall not be better welcome; for you must imagine now, Neighbours,  
This is the time when Kent stands out of kirsendom,  
For he that's King here now was never kirsened;  
This for your more Instruction I thought fit,  
That when you are dead you may teach your Children wit.  
Clerk!  Ami. 
At your. worship's elbow.  Sym. 
I must turn you  
From the Hall to the Kitchen tonight. Give order that 12 Pigs be  
Roasted yellow; 9 Geese, and some 3 Larks for piddling meat;  
And twenty Woodcocks, I'll bid all my Neighbours;  
Give charge the mutton come in all blood-raw, that is infidel's meat,  
The King of Kent is a Pagan, and must be served so.  
And let those Officers that seldom, or never go to Church  
Bring it in, 'twill be the better taken. Run, run, come you hither  
Now, take all my Cushions down and thwack them soundly,  
After my Feast of Millers; for their Buttocks  
Have left a peck of flower in them, beat them carefully  
Over a bolting hutch, there will be enough  
For a Pan-pudding, as your Dame will handle it.  
Then put fresh water into both the Bough-pots,  
And burn a little Juniper in the Hall-Chimney,  
Like a beast as I was, I pissed out the fire last night,  
And never dreamed of the Kings coming. How now,  
Returned so quickly?  Ami. 
Please your Worship here are  
A certain Company of Players.  Sym. 
Ha, Players!  Ami. 
Country Comedians, Interluders, Sir,  
Desire your worship's favour  
And leave to enact in the Town-Hall.  Sym. 
In the Town-Hall?  
'Tis ten to one I never grant them that;  
Call them before my Worship.  Enter Cheaters. 
If my house will not serve their turn, I would fain see  
The proudest he lend them a barn:  
Now, Sirs, are you Comedians?  2 Cheat. 
We are Sir, Comedians, Tragedians,  
Tragi-Comedians, Comi-Tragedians, Pastorists,  
Humorists, Clownists, Satirists; we have them Sir,  
From the hug to the smile, from the smile to the laugh,  
From the laugh to the handkerchief.  Sym. 
You're very strong in the wrist methinks;  
And must all these good parts be cast away  
Upon Pedlars, and maltmen, ha?  1 Cheat. 
For want of better company, if it please your Worship.  Sym. 
What think you of me my Masters?  
Hum; have you audacity enough  
To play before so high a person as myself? will not  
My countenance daunt you? for if you play before me  
I shall often look on you, I give you that warning before hand,  
Take it not ill my Masters, I shall laugh at you,  
And truly when I am least offended with you;  
It is my humour, but be not you abashed.  1 Cheat. 
Sir, we have played before a Lord ere now,  
Though we be Country Actors.  Sym. 
A Lord? ha, ha,  
Thou'lt find it a harder thing to please a Mayor.  2 Cheat. 
We have a Play wherein we use a horse.  Sym. 
Fellows, you use no horseplay in my house,  
My rooms are rubbed, keep it for Hackney-men.  1 Cheat. 
We'll not offer it to your Worship.  Sym. 
Give me a Play without a Beast, I charge you.  2 Cheat. 
That's hard, without a Cuckold or a Drunkard?  Sym. 
Oh those Beasts are often the best men in a Parish,  
And must not be kept out. But which is your merriest play?  
That I would harken after.  2 Cheater 
Your Worship shall hear  
Their names, and take your Choice.  Sym. 
And that's plain dealing. Come begin, Sir.  2 Cheat. 
The Whirligig, the Whibble, the Carwidgen.  Sym. 
hay day, what names are these!  2 Cheat. 
New names of late.  
The Wild goose Chase.  Sym. 
I understand thee now.  2 Cheat. 
Gull upon Gull.  Sym. 
Why this is somewhat yet.  1 Cheat. 
Woodcock of our side.  Sym. 
Get thee further off then.  2 Cheat. 
The Cheater and the Clown.  Sym. 
Is that come up again?  
That was a Play when I was Prentice first.  2 Cheat. 
ay, but the Cheater has learned more tricks of late,  
And gulls the Clown with new additions.  Sym. 
Then is your Clown a Coxcomb, which is he?  1 Cheat. 
This is our Clown, Sir.  Sym. 
Fie, fie, your Company  
Must fall upon him and beat him, he's too fair i'faith  
To make the people laugh:  1 Cheat. 
Not as he may be dressed, Sir.  Sym. 
Faith dress him how you will, I'll give him that gift  
He will never look half scurvily enough.  
Oh the Clowns that I have seen in my time!  
The very peeping out of one of them would have made  
A young heir laugh, though his Father lay a dying;  
A man undone in Law the day before (the saddest case that can be)  
Might for his 2d have burst himself with laughing,  
And ended all his miseries. Here was a merry world, my Masters!  
Some talk of things of State, of puling stuff;  
There's nothing in a Play to a Clown,  
If he have the grace to hit on it, that's the thing indeed,  
The King shows well, but he sets off the King;  
But not the King of Kent, I mean not so,  
The King is one, I mean, I do not know.  2 Cheat. 
Your Worship speaks with safety, like a rich man,  
And for your finding fault, our hopes are greater,  
Neither with him the Clown, nor me the Cheater.  Ex. Players. Sym. 
Away then, shift, Clown, to thy motley Crupper,  
We'll see them first, the King shall after supper.  Glo. 
I commend your worship's wisdom in that, Mr. Mayor.  Sym. 
Nay 'tis a point of Justice, if it be well examined,  
Not to offer the King worse than I'll see myself;  
For a Play may be dangerous, I have known  
A Great man poisoned in a Play.  Glo. 
What have you, Mr. Mayor?  Sym. 
But to what purpose many times I know not.  Felt. 
Methinks they should destroy one another so.  Sym. 
Oh no no, he that's poisoned is always made privy to it,  
That's one good order they have among them. What joyful throat  
Is that, Aminadab? what is the meaning of this cry?  A shout within. Ami. 
The Rebel is taken.  Sym. 
Oliver the Puritan?  Ami. 
Oliver Puritan and Fustian-Weaver altogether.  Sym. 
Fates I thank you for this victorious day,  
Bonfires of peas-straw burn, let the Bells ring.  Glo. 
There's two in mending, and you know they cannot.  Sym. 
'Las the Tenor's broken, ring out the Treble,  Oliver is brought in. 
I am overcloyed with joy; welcome thou Rebel.  Oli. 
I scorn thy welcome, I.  Sym. 
Art thou yet so stout?  
Wilt thou not stoop for grace? then get thee out.  Oli. 
I was not born to stoop but to my Loom,  
That seized upon, my stooping days are done;  
In plain terms, if thou hast any thing to say to me,  
Send me away quickly, this is no biding place,  
I understand there are Players in thy house,  
Dispatch me, I charge thee, in the name of all the Brethren.  Sym. 
Nay now proud Rebel, I will make thee stay,  
And to thy greater torment see a Play.  Oli. 
Oh Devil, I conjure thee by Amsterdam.  Sym. 
Our word is past,  
Justice may wink a while, but see at last.  
The Play begins, hold, stop him, stop him.  Oli. 
Oh that profane trumpet! oh, oh.  Sym. 
Set him down there I charge you Officers.  Oli. 
I'll hide my ears and stop my eyes.  Sym. 
Down with his golls I charge you.  Oli. 
Oh tyranny, tyranny, revenge it tribulation!  
For Rebels there are many deaths, but sure the only way  
To execute a Puritan is seeing of a Play.  
Oh I shall swoon!  Sym. 
Which if thou dost, to spite thee,  
A player's Boy shall bring thee Aquavitae.  Enter 1 Cheater. Oli. 
Oh I'll not swoon at all for't, though I die.  Sym. 
Peace, here's a Rascal, lift and edify.  1 Cheat. 
I say still he's an Ass that cannot live by his wits.  Sym. 
What a bold Rascal's this? he calls us all Asses at first dash,  
Sure none of us live by our wits, unless it be Oliver the Puritan.  Ol. 
I scorn as much to live by my wits as the proudest of you all.  Sym. 
Why then you're an Ass for company, so hold your prating.  2 Cheat. 
Fellow in arms, welcome,  Enter second Cheater. 
The News, the News?  Sym. 
Fellow in arms, quoth he?  
He may well call him fellow in arms.  
I am sure theyare both out at the Elbows.  2 Cheat. 
Be lively, my heart, be lively, the Booty is at hand,  
He's but a fool of a yeoman's eldest Son,  
He's balanced on both sides, Bully; he's going to buy householdstuff  
With one pocket, and to pay rent with the other.  1 Cheat. 
And if this be his last day, my Chuck,  
He shall forfeit his Lease, quoth the one pocket,  
And eat his meat in wooden Platters, quoth the other.  Sym. 
Faith then he's not so wise as he ought to be, to let  
Such Tatterdemallians get the upper hand of him.  Ent. Clown. 1 Cheat. 
He comes.  2 Cheat. 
ay, but smally to our comfort, with both his hands in  
His pockets; how is it possible to pick a Lock, when the Key  
Is on the inside of the Door?  Sym. 
Oh neighbours here's the part now  
That carries away the Play, if the Clown miscarry,  
Farewell my hopes for ever, the Play's spoiled.  Clo. 
They say there is a foolish kind of thing called a Cheater  
Abroad, that will gull any yeoman's Son of his purse,  
And laugh in his face like an Irishman.  
I would fain meet with some of these Creatures,  
I am in as good state to be gulled now as ever I was in my life,  
For I have two purses at this time about me, and I would fain be  
Acquainted with that Rascal that would take one of them now.  Sym. 
Faith thou may'st be acquainted with two or three  
That will do their good wills I warrant thee.  1 Cheat. 
That way's too plain, too easy I am afraid.  2 Cheat. 
Come, Sir, your most familiar Cheats take best,  
They show like natural things and least suspected,  
Give me a round shilling quickly.  1 Cheat. 
It will fetch  
But one of his hands neither, if it take.  2 Cheat. 
Thou art too covetous, let's have one out first, prithee,  
There's time enough to fetch out th'other after.  
Thou liest, 'tis lawful currant money.  They draw. 1 Cheat. 
I say 'tis Copper in some Countries.  Clo. 
Here is a fray towards,  
But I will hold my hands, let who will part them.  2 Cheat. 
Copper? I defy thee, and now I shall disprove thee,  
Look you, here's an honest yeoman's son of the Country,  
A man of Judgement.  Clo. 
Pray you be covered, Sir,  
I have Eggs in my Cap, and cannot put it off.  2 Cheat. 
Will you be tried by him?  1 Cheat. 
I am content, Sir.  Sym. 
They look rather as if they would be tried next Sessions.  1 Cheat. 
Pray give your judgement of this piece of Coin, Sir.  Clo. 
Nay if it be Coin you strive about,  
Let me see it, I love money.  They pick his pocket. 1 Cheat. 
Look on it well, Sir.  2 Cheat. 
Let him do his worst, Sir.  Clo. 
you'd both need wear cut clothes, you're so choleric.  2 Cheat. 
Nay rub it and spare not, Sir.  Clo. 
Now by this silver, Gentlemen,  
It is good money, would I had a hundred of them.  2 Cheat. 
We hope well, Sir; th'other pocket  
And we are made men.  Exeunt. Sym. 
Oh neighbours, I begin to be sick of this fool,  
To see him thus cozened, I would make his case my own.  Clo. 
Still would I meet with these things called Cheaters.  Sym. 
A whoreson Coxcomb, they have met with thee,  
I can no longer endure him with patience.  Clo. 
Oh my rent, my whole years rent!  Sym. 
A murrain on you,  
This makes us Landlords stay so long for our money.  Clo. 
The Cheaters have been here.  Sym. 
A scurvy hobby-horse,  
That could not leave his money with me, having such a Charge  
About him; a pox on thee for an Ass, thou play a Clown?  
I will commit thee for offering it; Officers, away with him.  Glo. 
What means your Worship? why you'll spoil the Play, Sir.  Sym. 
Before the King of Kent shall be thus served,  
I'll play the Clown myself, away with him.  Clo. 
With me? if it please your Worship, 'twas my part.  Sym. 
But 'twas a foolish part as ever thou play'dst in thy life,  
I'll make thee smoke for it, I'll teach thee to understand  
To play a Clown, thou shalt know, every man  
Is not born to it, away with him quickly,  Exit Clown. 
He'll have the other Pocket picked else, I heard them say it  
With my own ears; see he's come in another disguise  
To cheat thee again.  Enter second Cheater. 2 Cheat. 
Pish, whither goes he now?  Sym. 
Come on, Sir, let us see what your  He throws off his Gown, discovering his doublet with a satin forepart and a Canvas back 
Knaveship can do at me now,  
You must not think you have a Clown in hand,  
The fool I have committed too, for playing the part.  2 Cheat. 
What's here to do?  Glo. 
Fie, good Sir come away,  
Will your Worship base yourself to play a Clown?  2 Cheat. 
I beseech your Worship let us have our own Clown,  
I know not how to go forwards else.  Sym. 
Knave, play out thy part with me,  
Or I'll lay thee by the heels all the days of thy life.  
Why how now, my Masters, who is that laughed at me?  
Cannot a man of Worship play the Clown a little for his pleasure  
But he must be laughed at? do you know who I am?  
Is the king's Deputy of no better account among you?  
Was I chosen to be laughed at? where's my Clerk?  Ami. 
Here, if it please your Worship.  Sym. 
Take a Note of all those  
That laugh at me, that when I have done I may commit them.  
Let me see who dare do it now. And now to you once again  
Sir Cheater, look you, here are my purse-strings, I do defy thee.  2 Cheat. 
Good Sir, tempt me not, my part is so written  
That I should cheat your Worship if you were my Father.  Sym. 
I should have much joy to have such a Rascal to my Son.  2 Cheat. 
Therefore I beseech your Worship pardon me, the part  
Has more Knavery in it then when your Worship saw it at first,  
I assure you you'll be deceived in it, Sir, the new Additions  
Will take any man's purse in Kent or kirsendom.  Sym. 
If thou canst take my purse, I'll give it thee freely,  
And do thy worst, I charge thee; as thou'lt answer it.  2 Cheat. 
I shall offend your Worship.  Sym. 
Knave, do it quickly.  2 Cheat. 
Say you so? than there's for you, and here is for me:  Sym. 
Oh bless me, Neighbours, I am in a Fog,  Throws meal in his face, takes his purse, & Exit. 
A cheater's Fog, I can see nobody.  Glo. 
Run, follow him, Officers.  Sym. 
Away, let him go,  
He will have all your purses, if he come back,  
A pox on your new Additions, they spoil all the plays  
That ever they come in, the old way had no such roguery in it;  
Calls you this a merry Comedy, when a man's eyes are put out in't?  
Brother honeysuckle.  Felt. 
What says your sweet Worship.  Sym. 
I make you Deputy to rule the Town till I can see again,  
Which will be within these nine days at farthest.  
Nothing grieves me now, but that I hear Oliver the Rebel  
Laugh at me; a pox on your Puritan face, this will make you in  
Love with Plays as long as you live,  
We shall not keep you from them now.  Oli. 
In sincerity,  
I was never better pleased at an exercise. Ha, ha, ha.  Sym. 
Neighbours, what colour was the dust  
The Rascal threw in my face?  Glo. 
'Twas meal, if it please your Worship.  Sym. 
Meal? I am glad of it,  
I'll hang the Miller for selling it.  Glo. 
Nay ten to one  
The Cheater never bought it, he stole it certainly.  Sym. 
Why then I'll hang the Cheater for stealing it,  
And the Miller for being out of the way when he did it.  Felt: 
ay but your Worship was in the fault yourself,  
You bid him do his worst.  Sym. 
His worst? that's true,  
But the Rascal hath done his best; for I know not how a Villain  
Could put out a man's eyes better, and leave them in his head,  
As he has done mine.  Ami. 
Where is my Master's Worship?  Sym. 
How now Aminadab? I hear thee though I see thee not.  Ami. 
You are sure cozened, Sir, they are all professed Cheaters,  
They have stolen two silver spoons, and the Clown took his heels  
With all celerity; they only take the name of Country-Comedians  
To abuse simple people with a printed play or two,  
Which they bought at Canterbury for six pence,  
And what is worse, they speak but  
What they list of it, and fribble out the rest.  Sym. 
Here's no abuse to the Commonwealth,  
If a man could see to look into it,  Enter Hengist. 
But mark the Cunning of these cheating slaves,  
First they make Justice blind, then play the Knaves.  Heng. 
Where's Mr. Mayor?  Glo. 
Od's precious Brother, the King of Kent is newly alighted.  Sym. 
The King of Kent? where is he,  
That I should live to this day,  
And yet not live to see to bid him welcome?  Heng. 
Where is Simonides, our friendly Host?  Sym. 
Ah blind as one that had been foxed a seven-night.  Heng. 
Why how now man?  Sym. 
Faith practising a clown's part for your Grace  
I have practised both my eyes out.  Heng. 
What need you practise that?  Sym. 
A man is never too old to learn, your Grace will say so,  
When you hear the jest of it; the truth is, my Lord, I meant  
To have been merry, and now it is my luck to weep  
Water and Oatmeal; I shall see again at Supper,  
I make no doubt of it.  Enter a Gentleman. Heng. 
This is strange to me, Sirs.  Gent. 
Arm, arm, my Lord!  Heng. 
What's that?  Gent. 
With swiftest speed, if ever you'll behold  
The Queen your Daughter alive again.  Heng. 
Roxena?  Gent. 
They are besieged, Aurelius,  
Ambrose, and his Brother Uther,  
With numbers infinite of British Forces,  
Beset their Castle, and they cannot scape  
Without your speedy succour.  Heng. 
For her safety I'll forget food and rest: away.  Sym. 
I hope your Worship will hear the jest ere you go.  Heng. 
The jest! torment me not.  Sym. 
I'll follow you to Wales with a Dog and a Bell  
But I will tell it you.  Heng. 
Unseasonable Folly!  Exit cum suis. Sym. 
'Tis sign of war when great men disagree;  
Look to the Rebel well, till I can see,  
And when my sight is recovered, I will have  
His eyes pulled out for a fortnight.  Oli. 
My eyes? hang thee,  
A deadly sin or two shall pluck them out first,  
That is my resolution. Ha, ha, ha.  Exeunt.  

ACT. 5. SCENA 2.  Enter Aurelius and Uther with Soldiers, (Vortiger and Horsus above.) Uther. 
MY Lord, the Castle is so fortified.  Aur. 
Let wildfire ruin it,  
That his destruction may appear to him  
In the figure of heaven's wrath at the last day,  
That Murderer of our Brother. Hence away,  
I'll send my heart no peace till it be consumed.  Uth. 
There he appears again, behold, my Lord.  Aur. 
Oh that the zealous fire on my soul's Altar,  
To the high Birth of Virtue consecrated,  
Would fit me with a lightning now to blast him,  
Even as I look upon him.  Uth. 
Good my Lord,  
Your anger is too noble and too precious  
To waste itself on guilt so foul as his;  
Let ruin work her will.  Vor. 
Begirt all round?  Hor. 
All, all, my Lord, 'tis folly to make doubt of it,  
You question things that horror long ago  
Resolved us on.  Vor. 
Give me leave, Horsus, though—  Hor. 
Do what you will, Sir, question them again,  
I'll tell them to you.  Vor. 
Not so, Sir,  
I will not have them told again.  Hor. 
It rests then.  Vor. 
That's an ill word put in, when thy heart knows  
There is no rest at all, but torment making.  Hor. 
True, my heart finds it; that sits weeping blood now  
For poor Roxena's safety. You'll confess, my Lord,  
My love to you has brought me to this danger?  
I could have lived like Hengist, King of Kent,  
London, York, Lincoln, and Winchester,  
Under the power of my Command, the portion  
Of my most just desert, enjoyed now  
By pettier, Deservers.  Vor. 
Say you so, Sir,  
And you'll confess? since you began Confession  
(A thing I should have died ere I had thought on)  
You've married the fashion of your affection utterly,  
In your own wicked counsel, there you paid me,  
You were bound in conscience to love me after,  
You were bound to't, as men in honesty,  
That vitiate Virgins, to give Dowries to them;  
My faith was pure before to a faithful woman.  Hor. 
My Lord, my Counsel—  Vor. 
Why I'll be judged by these  
That knit death in their Brows, and hold me now  
Not worth the acception of a flattery,  
Most of whose faces smiled when I smiled once; my Lords:  Uth. 
Reply not, Brother.  Vor. 
Seeds of scorn, I mind you not,  
I speak to them alone whose force makes yours a power,  
Which else were none. Show me the main food of your hate,  
Which cannot be the Murder of Constantius  
That crawls in your Revenges; for your loves  
Were violent long since that.  1 Lo. 
And had been still,  
If from that Pagan wound thou'dst kept thee free,  
But when thou fled'st from Heaven, we fled from thee.  Vor. 
This was your Counsel now.  Hor. 
Mine? 'twas the Counsel  
Of your own lust and blood, your appetite knows it.  Vor. 
May thunder strike me from these walls, my Lords,  
And leave me many Leagues off from your eyes,  
If this be not the man, whose Stygian Soul  
Breathed forth that counsel to me, and sole Plotter  
Of all those false injurious disgraces  
That have abused the virtuous patience  
Of our Religious Queen.  Hor. 
A Devil in madness!  Vor. 
Upon whose life, I swear, there sticks no stain  
But what's most wrongful, and where now she thinks  
A rape dwells on her honour, only I  
Her Ravisher was, and his the Policy.  Aur. 
inhuman practice!  Vor. 
Now you know the truth,  
Will his death serve your fury?  Hor. 
My death?  Vor. 
Say, will it do it?  Hor. 
Say they should say 'twould do't?  Vor. 
Why then it must.  Hor. 
It must?  Vor. 
It shall, speak but the word, it shall be yielded up.  Hor. 
Believe him not, he cannot do it.  Vor. 
Cannot?  Hor. 
'Tis but a false and base Insinuation  
For his own life, and like his late submission.  Vor. 
Oh sting to honour, alive or dead thou goest  Stabs him. 
For that words rudeness only.  1 Lo. 
See, sin needs  
No other destruction than it breeds in its own bosom.  Vor. 
Such another brings him.  Hor. 
What, has thy vile rage stamped a wound upon me?  
I've send one to thy soul shall never heal for't.  Vor. 
How, to my soul?  Hor. 
It shall be thy master-torment  
Both for the pain and the everlastingness.  Vor. 
Ha, ha, ha.  Hor. 
Dost laugh? take leave of it, all eternity  
Shall never see thee do so much again:  
Know thouart a Cuckold.  Vor. 
What!  Hor. 
You change too soon, Sir.  
Roxena, whom thouhast raised to thy own ruin,  
She was my Whore in Germany.  Vor. 
Burst me open the violence of whirlwinds:  Hor. 
Hear me out first,  
For her embrace, which my flesh yet sits warm in,  
I was thy friend and follower.  Vor. 
Deafen me  
Thou most imperious noise that starts the world!  Hor. 
And to serve both our lusts I practised with thee  
Against thy virtuous Queen.  Vor. 
Bane to all Comforts!  Hor. 
Whose faithful sweetness, too precious for thy blood,  
I made thee change for love's Hypocrisy.  Vor. 
Insufferable!  Hor. 
Only to make my way to pleasure fearless, free & fluent.  Vor. 
hell's Trump is in that throat.  Hor. 
It shall sound shriller.  They stab each other. Rox. enters in fear. Vor. 
I'll dam it up with death first.  Rox. 
Oh for succour!  
Who's near me? help me, save me, the flame follows me,  
'Tis in the figure of young Vortimer, the Prince,  
Whose life I took by poison.  Hor. 
Hold out breath and I shall find thee quickly.  Vor. 
I'll tug thy soul out here.  Hor. 
Do Monster:  Rox. 
Vortiger!  Vor. 
Monster!  Rox. 
My Lord!  Vor. 
Toad, Pagan.  Hor. 
Viper, Christian.  Rox. 
Oh hear me,  
Oh help me, my Love, my Lord, 'tis here,  
Horsus look up, if not to succour me,  
To see me yet consumed; oh what is love  
When life is not regarded?  Vor. 
What strength's left I'll fix upon thy throat.  Both stab, Hor. falls. Hor. 
I have some force yet.  Rox. 
No way to scape? is this the end of glory?  
Doubly beset with enemy's wrath and fire:  
It comes nearer, rivers and fountains fall,  
It sucks away my breath, I cannot give  
A curse to sin, and hear't out while I live. Help, help.  She falls. Vor. 
Burn, burn, now I can tend thee,  
Take time with her in torment, call her life  
afar off to thee, dry up her strumpet-blood,  
And hard y parch the skin, let one heat strangle her,  
Another fetch her to her sense again,  
And the worst pain be only her reviving,  
Follow her eternally; oh mystical Harlot,  
Thou hast thy full due, whom lust crowned Queen before  
Flames crown her now a most triumphant Whore.  
And that end crowns them all.  He falls. Aur. 
Our peace is full,  
In you Usurpers fall, nor have I known  
A Judgement meet more fearfully.  
Here, take this Ring, deliver the good Queen,  
And those grave pledges of her murthered honour,  
(Her worthy Father, and her noble Uncle.)  
How now! the meaning of these sounds?  Enter Hengist, Devon. Staf. & Soldiers. Heng. 
The Consumer has been here, she's gone, she's lost,  
In glowing Cinders now lie all my joys,  
The headlong Fortune of my rash Captivity  
Strikes not so deep a wound into my hopes  
As thy dear loss.  Aur. 
Her Father and her Uncle!  1 Lo. 
They are indeed, my Lord.  Aur. 
Part of my wishes,  
What fortunate power has prevented me,  
And ere my love came, brought them victory?  1 Lo. 
My wonder sticks in Hengist King of Kent.  Devon. 
My Lord, to make that plain which now I see  
Fixed in astonishment; the only name  
Of your Return and Being brought such gladness  
To this distracted Kingdom, that, to express  
A thankfulness to Heaven, it grew great  
In charitable Actions, from which goodness  
We taste our liberty, who lived engaged  
Upon the Innocence of woman's honour,  
(A kindness that even threatened to undo us)  
And having newly but enjoyed the benefit  
And fruits of our enlargement, 'twas our happiness  
To intercept this Monster of Ambition,  
Bred in these times of Usurpation,  
The rankness of whose Insolence and Treason  
Grew to such height, 'twas armed to bid you Battle.  
Whom, as our fame's Redemption, on our knees  
We present Captive.  Aur. 
Had it needed reason  
You richly came provided, I understood  
Not your deserts till now; my honoured Lords,  
Is this that German Saxon, whose least thirst  
Could not be satisfied under a Province?  Heng. 
Had but my fate directed this bold arm  
To thy life, the whole Kingdom had been mine,  
That was my hopes great aim; I have a thirst  
Could never have been full quenched under all,  
The whole must do't or nothing.  Aur. 
A strange draught!  
And what a little ground shall death now teach you  
To be content withal?  Heng. 
Why let it then,  
For none else can, you've named the only way  
To limit my Ambition, a full cure  
For all my fading hopes and sickly fears;  
Nor shall it be less we come to me now  
Then a fresh acquisition would have been  
Unto my new built Kingdoms; Life to me,  
( 'Less it be glorious) is a misery.  Aur. 
That pleasure we will do you; Lead him out,  
And when we have inflicted our just doom  
On his usurping head, it will become  
Our pious care to see this Realm secured  
From the Convulsions it hath long endured.  Exeunt omnes: 
FINIS.