A MODEST ATTEMPT For Healing the Present Animosities IN ENGLAND. occasioned by a late BOOK, entitled, A Modest Enquiry, &c. IN A DIALOGUE between Testimony, a Zealous Dissenter; and Hot-head, a choleric Bigot; Trimmer, Moderator.  
licenced, Aug. 4. 1690.  
LONDON, Printed for R. Janeway, in Queens-Head-Alley in Pater-Noster-Row. MDCXC.   

A MODEST ATTEMPT, &c.  

THE INTRODUCTION,  
OR, if you please, the Prologue before this Farce, Comedy, or what the Reader thinks fit to call it: How stark mad beyond Moor-fields or Hellebore, the Red-hot Bigotts of both sides have lately been, on the appearance of such a Spectrum of a Book, as has allarmed us more than the French Fleet, Gallies and all into the Bargain! How carefully this has been handed about, oraculously received, and kindly entertained by some! how fearfully disapproved and damned by others; some believing all, others nothing, others still more than all therein contained! And upon the whole, what an unlucky Bone of Contention it has proved, at such a Juncture as we ought to be most closely united against the common Enemy! Of these things none can be ignorant, who for some Weeks last past has lived any where but in a desert. The Intention of what follows, is without meddling with things above the Sphere of ordinary Converse, to represent the great Furioso's on either hand in their own Colours, to dress 'em in their own distorted Faces, tho' 'tis odds but they'll be ready to break the Glass that endeavours it. To show the madness and unreasonableness as well as danger in any such desperate Heats as almost share the English World between 'em, fairly deduced from the Practices and expressions of the great Sticklers therein: Nor should the Pleasantness of the Style be any Objection against it, since if both parties can but be put into so good a humour, as to unbend their brows, and laugh at their own and others Extravagancies, ten to one but they'l quickly grow Friends, and be ashamed and leave 'em: One Reason for which I've introduced Trimmer for a Moderator, is to stave and Tail between the two furious Combatants, when villainously fastened together, and lugging one anothers Throats out: And if after all he gets nothing for his Pains, as 'tis very likely he will not, besides a snap from both sides, he'll e'en get out of the way, and let 'em fight Dog, fight Bear, till both are weary.   
Enter Testimony and Hot head.( Testimony reading The Modest Enquiry.) Hot-head. 
WHat poison is that Viper sucking in there? I'll lay my Life 'tis some damned piece of Roguery or other against the Church, or Lampoon upon the Bishops, he's so pleased, and snickers at it while he's reading it.  Testimony. 
Viper in thy Face, and all thy own poison, thou Hell-bred Tory— thou Snake that liest working and gnawing at the Heart of the Government, with a Pope and K. James both at once tumbling in thy Belly— Well— 'twill never be well with England, as my Author here prettily hints it, till all such Rogues are punished indeed, and your Veins opened, to let out the Venom that lurks within them.  Hot-head. 
Sirra! fanatic! Hell-hound! hast thou got that pestilent Pamphlet among all the rest of thy Whiggish Libels?— I'll prove upon thy Carrion carcase both that thou art a Villain for having it, and that 'tis all one damned lie from the beginning to the end on't— That there was never any Plot or Conspiracy, unless among your Rogues, to trump up Old Puss again— never any Treachery, cowardice, Disasters, French Fleet, nor nothing at all— Draw quickly, Sirra, that Lumber of a Weapon, and fight, or I'll pin thee to the Wall, without giving thee so much as time to whine thy Prayers out before I sand thy Soul to the—  Enter Trimmer. Trimmer. 
Very loud Gentlemen, and angry, your posture threatens worse, which I shall be happy if I can prevent; you are both my old Friends, and I'd be glad to accommodate the business between ye, if I might know the Cause, which I guess is still the old one.  Hothead. 
Yes, 'tis the Old Cause with a Vengeance: I smell a Rump as strong as if 'twas Roasting: Here's 41 and 48 all over, and till they have done on't, I never will: They are all Enemies to Prelacy and Monarchy, nothing but Root-and Branch-work will down with 'em now they are grown so Rampant, and here's a fair Lift at 'em both— Let me come at him— Rascal— how he leers with his Holy-Jaws and chalky Eyes— I'll ram that cursed Book down his Throat, till it comes out again, and make him cat it afterwards.  Testimony. 
No wonder that a Malefactor should be willing to tear his Indictment, and a Thief be not very well pleased at the sight of a Halter— In very dead he has set ye out, and painted ye in your own dirty Colours to some purpose— all your Locusts, the dregs and spawn of the Whore— the great numbers of your disaffected Clergy, that Plot to bring in the Pope and Devil again, your one and all in dipped, over Head and Ears— I'll not bait ye an Ace— not a Rag of Crape, or Skirt of the Whores Smock among you, but are hereby polluted, defiled, and contaminated, even to abomination— Ah— this honest Man here shows the true way to reform ye, to which I'd willingly lend my helping hand, and had began with thee, thou Limb of the Serpent, had not this self-seeking Trimmer interrupted me in so good a work.  Hot-head. 
Nay, this would make St. Michael Swear. Out of the way thou Motley-thing— thou State-Hermophrodite, and little Go-between, that art as much a fanatic in thy Heart as he himself, or I'll stick ye both like frogs, one a top t'other.  Trimmer. 
So, here am I like to make a very hopeful business on't; in a fair way to be used as the Rams did their Judge, stand still in the middle, till both your Horny Faces thump my Guts out.— Has Nature given you two nothing but Tongues and Hands? or are your Ears thrown by, and never made use of?  Testimony. 
Whichever of us are in the right, such lukewarm Wretches as thee are sure to be in the wrong, for neither of us can endure thee.  Trimmer. 
The more likely I to be in the right: If you two miss the Jack, one two short, and t'other a mile beyond it, I must needs be the best Cast that lie just betwixt ye. When the Hare neither takes the right nor the left-hand way, a very Hounds Syllogism concludes she's in the middle. And do but consider your own Wisdom, to attempt to throw me overboard, only for keeping the Boat even, when you two are swagging it o' both sides, and take so much mistaken Pains to drown yourselves and one another.  Hothead. 
I'll defer my Vengeance a little while, to convince ye, if there's any Justice in a Trimmer, what Reason I have for my Resentments that I can tell, and when that's done, for a Second, I'll admit and thank you, but as a Mediator I don't desire your help, and assure ye, when e're you undertake it, you'l find it a very thankless office.  Trimmer. 
I'm content to meet that and worse in the discharge of my Duty and Honour, but hope better than both, for I see our Friend Testimony recovers as well as you, and begins to look less pale, than at the first rencontre.  Testimony. 
Tho' I am not to be moved from Principles and matter of Fact, yet I'm willing to hear what my Enemy can say against me, in hopes to make you a Convert, tho' he's desperate, and I've quiter given him over.  Trimer. 
Shall I have both your honest words, to reason calmly, and will you consent to a Truce for an Hours time, till the Discourse is ended.  Both. 
Agreed.  Trimmer. 
I think you are both Plaintiffs and Defendants, so 'tis no great matter which speaks first: But since he seems the Party most grieved, let Hothead begin.  Hot-head. 
Can any thing be plainer, than that the utter Destruction of the Church is intended by these Fellows, and han't we as good as their own Confession, that nothing less will please ' em. Their very names enough, were there no more, and Fire and Water are less contrary then Whig and Tory, nor is there any more likelihood to accomplish, or reason to attempt any accommodation between ' em. None but such as they are encouraged, and Fellows fetched out of Jails set up to be our Masters. What safety or protection can we expect while things are thus, and such notorious Fanatics so much in request every where. 'Tis insufferable the abuses and insults met with from that sort of Cattle by honester men than themselves, To all the rest they have added this new affront, ripping up old sores, endeavouring to set the Mob at us as Traytors to the government, and villainously exposing us as far as lies and impudence can help ' em. Till things are at last come to such height, assisted by the success they have met with in Scotland, that of necessity either we must cut their Throats, or they will ours, and what we do is in mere self defence.  Trimmer, 
Ill news indeed were't true— But Testimony what answer d'ye make to all this?  Testimony, 
I answer with my director, That 'tis nothing but a persecuting spirit acts their whole party, and all their desire is to be uppermost again, to ruin us and bring in their Idolized King James, after they had so long dinn'd all Europe with complaints of their trifling afflictions and grievances in order to get them out. A Toleration for Papists they would easily have swallowed, but immediately flew out as soon as abridged of their beloved Power to trample Dissenters. We han't forgot what formerly we did suffer; nor are insensible of what the Nation now feels, and might have done more had not a strange providence disappointed their devices. We owe this to the Clergy as well as all our other miseries and disasters, for the Clergy were the great contrivers and managers of all— But there are some people in the world, who when any signal misfortune befall their state, they immediately offer up to their angry Deities some of their Priests as a sacrifice to atone their wrath, because they might have taught 'em better, to have pleased the Gods so as not to provoke 'em to in flict such judgments on 'em, and 'tis a wonder indeed the Nation has not done the like on their being lately forced to turn their backs to the French at sea, and punished some of 'em for having brought all this upon ' em. For the world is weary of being Priest-ridden, and is resolved now to be so no longer.  Trimmer, 
And you think now you have sufficiently answered all he has urged against you!  Testimony, 
Yes, and a great deal more.  Trimmer, 
You are both still the same, and are so used to shoot beyond the mark, 'tis a wonder how you ever chance to hit one another. I see I must e'en answer ye both or else not much will be said to the purpose. Your first complaint Mr. Hothead, is, that no less then the utter destruction of you and the Church is intended, Reason enough to make you uneasy— but one considerable Question ought here to be put in. Who shall do this? Not those at Helm themselves, for they are of the same Faith with you, though a great deal more Charity. Not your Enemies among either the great or small Mobile, For though some few of 'em, and Friend Testimony among the rest may want no good will to do it, they must stay till they have power, they have no Armies concealed at Knights-bridge, and sure thousand men will hardly do it? If the very appellation of Whig and Tory sets you by the Ears, remember 'tis childrens play indeed to call names and thence fall to Logger-heads, a word and a blow in the worst sense of the proverb, However rage and prejudice blinds you, when you say, none but such are preferred and encouraged, unless you'l call all so, who are firm to the present government. Was there ever a Reign that knew a more equal distribution of Favours, that oblige more, and justly offended fewer then this has done? If those are now on your Benches who formerly were in your prisons, say no more, but blushy for shane when you remember who brought 'em thither and for what cause, for if that were in its self of any weight you must condemn Apostles and Martyrs. That any should be so foolish or wicked to complain of partiality towards Dissenters! which looks very ill-favouredly towards sharpening their objection, that you are only angry because you ca'nt trample on 'em still. Very probably some of them, or others whom you call Whigs may offer you affronts hard enough to be digested, may sometimes abuse and falsely scandalise you, and I wish in all they object against you they did no otherwise; you ought to have a care both of yourselves and others, for a hot man injures all his party as well as himself. It had been happy for England had their been no occasion for some complaints made against you and if once the love of the people is lost, 'tis not so easily gained again, and some allowance must be made to the ill temper, an ill accident or little fret puts men into—, it infects their mind with a kind of an Aguish distemper, in which they do nothing but shake and tremble, and throw up abundance of Choler and ugly stuff not very pleasant afterward either to themselves or those about ' em. Nay, should their resentments go beyond their bounds, methinks a generous man should hardly take 'em very heinously, since 'tis mistaken zeal and love for their country which may for the most part drive 'em into those unwarrantable extremities. Besides, knowing too well where to fix the accidental cause of most of the misfortunes which have lately befallen us, they are to be pitied as much as blamed for laying on load a little too well favouredly.  
After all, should any be so imprudent or wicked to endeavour fixing the greatest and most barbarous of injuries on your persons, there is God-be-thanked, a Government to defend you— If there are any persons so much in love with so humble a Glory that they are ambitious to succeed Captain Tom, and Halloo the Mob at you, the State is not so weak that it can't find Guards enough for you, and Halter for them, in the mean while words will break no bones, and you may have an easy exercise of the Philosophy to contemn them. For after all the Water will roar and run through Bridge, though you should break your back and heart to hinder it. The many will be like itself if it dislike any thing 'twill talk big and loud, and roll on with Mud and Fury, but can't you stand aside and let it run by, which 'twill not fail to do with no less swiftness then noise, having this advantage and excuse too for both, that it streams run all the same way, and that now by chance in the Right Channel.  
For Scotland, the trite Common-place of you High-Flyers, whats that to us? They have their Laws and we ours, and ours as Sacred here as Theirs are there—. But tis no wonder if Fear, Doubt, Prejudice and Anger draw Reasons from Similitudes and Comparisons, Arguments good enough for such ill arguers—. Is there no difference I'd fain know, between the genius of a Nations lying one way or 'tother, between inveterate prejudice against and for persons, or things and forms of Government. Lastly between a Gentry and Parliament at one End, and firm original Laws at the the other, engaging for or against such or such a particular way of Worship? Till you answer all these been't angry with your Neighbours, especially considering what well deserves a thought, that persons of your temper have in all probability conduced more to any change there, then any other Argument.  Testimony, 
A very Edifying discourse this,— How I love this healing temper, and these moderate men; and how unjustly does my adversary blame me for being averse to all calm and uniting methods?  Trimmer, 
Yes I have always observed you love moderation well when 'tis o' that side, that is when others not you are advised to it. If you continue in the same mind after you have heard your part, I shall be very happily mistaken.  
I remember how loudly you formerly complained when Touzer my good Friend and yours, used to pinch and worry you with the din of Forty One or Forty Eight, ringing as many changes on those numbers as if they had been as many Bells. This you thought neither fair nor prudent to ript up old sores past so many years, revive their memory and odium, and set the Nation a madding one against t'other, as justly you urged, as Heylen charges you, because he'd be sure to go high enough with the Rebellion of Corah, Dathan, and Abiram, and makes them and all their Company as rank Presbyterians as any in Geneva. Your complaint was by all good men allowed to be just, and at last the subject and relator grew alike odious— Why do you in this so and many other instances, follow what so little while since you have condemned.  
All the Extravagancies of the Two last Reigns, all the ebullitions of Fear, or Prejudice, or other human Passions, during the high and unnatural ferment the Nation was then in, must be trumpt up anew, dressed and coloured as freshly and lively as if transacted but yesterday, and nothing since had intervened, in some measure, to balance complaints and wrongs. Is't not, to Reason fairly, a very odd sort of an Argument to prove the Clergy were the chief managers of Affairs and Causes of bringing the French Fleet into the Channel, in the Year 1690; because perhaps in 78, or 80, a dull person( and you can't expect a Doctor of Divinity in a place where it seems you'll allow but Ten Pounds a Year, without so much as a Pudding in) should on the 30th of January Preach up Passive-Obedience, or Persecution of Dissenters— Commend me to Testimony's Chain of Thoughts, however they talk of Hobbs's. Is't not as good Reason as ever 'twas,— Why are these things ript up to the disturbance of the Peace of the Nation? And hareing perhaps six parts in seven almost out of their Senses, with persuading 'em all their Parsons wear Cloven-Feet under their Crape, have certainly betrayed 'em to the French, and writ down their very Names( in invisible Characters,) on the backside of the Memorial?— Besides,— are the Clergy the only Men to be struck at,— None but they to bear the brunt of a Popular Tumult?— Is there no sense left in England of that respect which even Barbarians,— and those in Asia too, bear for Persons of that Character? Will it be said more of them proportionably then of other faculties or bodies of Men are disaffected? This is not so easily proved as said.— Those who affirm it, too much oblige the Jacobites Party. Generals can only be argued from particulars. Consult the London Pulpits, and see if there's any sort of Men in London who are more generally firm to the present Government, who have fewer disaffected Members among 'em—. Judge not Hearts, that's Gods work; we speak of Actions, those only come under our observation. inquire on, at Cambridge and Oxford, and see if you han't the same Returns made. That there are some, and too many even of this Character, turbulent, heady, high-minded, is as true as that the visible Church will have always some ill Members till 'tis Triumphant. Here's the Quarrel,— all are blamed, or they are so Indefinitely, which every School-Boy knows mounts to the same,— the stress, the point of all accusations are worded against the Clergy in general, and then after the World is thoroughly infected with such ill notions of 'em, I appeal to any one what avails a lame restriction at the last, and protesting,— I did not intend any affront to any of those worthy Gentlemen who deserve well of the Government, but highly honour and esteem them—. Why all this looks like a perfect banter, and will in spite of the World, what e're was intended, be always esteemed no better.  
By a persecuting Spirit as you call it, which you charge 'em with, you mean either a general Inclination in the Party to destroy you and all others, or else only some particular Men of worse or warmer Tempers who are uneasy if others are not so. If the first you are unjust, if the latter very weak, for that very many among those whom you so hearty hate are as much for moderating matters as possible, and more had been so, had not you frighted 'em out on't, none can with any pretence to modesty deny. Who but a Body of Men, Members of that Church you love so little, have given you as to your Consciences all the ease you could desire; and if there are still some, nay many Hot-heads among 'em, you have Testimonies enough o' Conscience to give 'em a Rowland for their Oliver. Never was any Party in any place in the World for any considerable time uppermost, but they were inclined to press hard on those beneath 'em, never any under, but they complained of Persecution. show me any Sect here in England that was not for crushing all the others as a sort of putredinous Vermin, whenever 'twas in their power; a weakness perhaps almost inseparable from human Nature. But with what Reason or Manners this should now be urged, and with what Loyalty you can look back beyond an Act of Grace( as you used formerly to urge for yourselves against others) I know not who amongst you is Casuist enough to resolve me. You tell us they dinn'd all Europe, with their Trifling Afflictions, and Trifling Grievances, and would not let the then Prince of Orange alone, till he came over to redress them? But how far does Testimony here outrun both Truth and Modesty? I ask, Was it only they who invited the Prince over? You do them a great Honour? were those Grievances only Trifling ones which he came to redress? where's your sense, Truth, Civility and Loyalty? I always thought, and so did all Europe, that 'twas the common Cause of Religion and Liberty, no Trifling things, was then in the highest danger, and that the then Prince, our now gracious sovereign, who uses not to undertake such Enterprizes on Trifling Reasons, was sent, like an Arm from Heaven to save both when just sinking, as his Declaration  told the World. If he did not come to fasten every Pin or Nail in Canterbury or Lambeth, he came at least to secure the main Pillars and Beams of their Roofs, as he has often since assured 'em; not to pull 'em all down as flat as the Hugonots Temples in France, as no doubt, Testimony! you expected and desired, and as you are, so there's no fear but you will still be deceived in your Expectations. Your angry Imputation that they would willingly have swallowed a Toleration for the Papists, if that could have been had without easing the Dissenters, is so far from having any ground, that the contrary is notorious, both from matter of Fact and common Reason. Had they joined with the Papists, can any one suppose the Court had not easily attained their Ends, or would King James have thrown them off on purpose out of pure kindness to the Dissenters, or respect to their tender Consciences. I thought you had long before known there was no Love lost between you. Let the World judge what fair play is to be expected from Men of your Temper, when the best and fairest Actions in the World are thus represented, when such Interpretations are Wire-draw'd from 'em that look as if just spit out of the Mouths of a Peter's or a Jeffery's. Is this your Love to the Government, thus to bespatter its best and firmest Friends, who have contributed so much to our happiness, whereas Testimony! you were little more than the Fly on the Wheel, crying out, What a Dust do we make?  
But here is still a Body of Men indefinitely charged with Consults, Intrigues, Invitations and Attempts to bring the French upon us; and burn our Ships; and Towns, and us too, there's no doubt, as soon as they had done the other; sure there is a Law for such as are guilty of all this, whose Resentments can't but be severe enough against such Persons as are really concerned. But alas, that requires calm, fair and legal Proof, and a sober Bench and Jury to be Judges in the case whereas proof being wanting, the more Compendious way must be taken, the Mob erected into a High Court of Justice, and you Mr. Testimony the President on't, where without those common dull formalities the Parties are convicted per Saltum, and the Judges are ready to be Executioners.  
'Tis strange that only a vast confidence should pass for argument with any who pretend to be men either of Religion or Reason. Call, Ask, Challenge, again and again, demand the Names of those Persons accused of the blackest and most heinous of villainies— you can't get a word, not one single Letter of their Names— nothing but common prejudices and such unhappy Reasons as yet must be stretched with a vengeance to draw any such consequence from 'em— but where's the proof of a formal Design by these Men so broadly every where hinted at— If you know, Testimony! speak now, or for shane for ever after hold your peace!  Testimony. 
It mayn't be yet convenient— There's a time for all things. D'ye think such things would ever be so positively affirmed if there were not somewhat at the Bortom, nay, proof and assurance of the truth of what's asserted.  Trimmer. 
That's all— and you have now fairly proved one Supposition by another. Hot head is eager enough, I'm satisfied, and would as willingly be at you as you at him, but I'll never believe without better argument than have yet heard or am like to hear, that he'll be such a Villain to Sacrifice his Country to his particular pikes and private Revenge. You say 'tis n't yet time to instance— Is't not a time either to discover Traitors, or clear honest Men-Here's a body of Men charged the very Lump must be looked on guilty( and that's it indeed you seem to drive at,) for want of having it fixed on some Individuals. Why do's not the Government then seize these Persons? the Law is open; why are they not informed against? are not greater Persons than they can be presumed, daily Secured? No, no, Testimony! You had never such a vast kindness for Mr. Hot-head, any of his Friends, as to conceal their Treasons, if ye knew any thing of the matter, and venture a hanging to keep them from the same Fate.  Testimony. 
If you were not a Jacobite yourself, or a Well-willer to their Cause, you'd never thus go to vindicate ' em. What! don't all the world know these are for King James? don't they refuse to own the Present Government, and still pretend themselves what the last Reign made ' em? None but such as shut their Eyes, and are wilfully blind and hardened can deny all this.  Trimmer. 
Softly Mr. Testimony— Here's a whole Rope of Fallacies as long as a Chain of Snakes Eggs. First, you Implicitly charge all the large and ancient Family of the Hot-heads with being Jacobites— an Imputation very many of 'em so much resent, there would certainly be Murder between them and the Testimonys, could they get together, tho' much better were this eagerness turned the other way, and the only quarrel between 'em who most loved their Country and opposed its Enemies.  
Again— you suppose it one and the same thing to have any scruples against the present Government, to be dissatisfied in Conscience concerning it, and to Plot its destruction by bringing in the French upon it— search deep, and there lies the Core of all; for how vastly different may these two be one from another? You should prove, as has been boldly enough affirmed, that all these supposed Jacobites accused by you, have actually conspired with France for the Invasion of their country, and Destruction of the Government; you only prove on the upshot, that they must do so because they are Jacobites. Just Roger's arguing— A Beast of a Trimmer, or a Whigg, or fanatic, are certainly forming Plots against the State, only because they are called by those Names. We may at least now argue as closely— Testimony has several scruples against the Church— therefore he'll ne're be at rest till he has destroyed it. Is there no Medium between these two. Is't not possible to live peaceably and honestly even under the Misfortune of an erroneous Conscience, nay, to carry it better than those who are in the right? In Gods Name let all Traytors have their due— the Axe is sharp enough, and the Halter strong enough, and the Law powerful enough to tame 'em, but by no means can I think Testimony a proper Person to be Judge, Jury, Evidence, Hangman and all, nor seems it much fairer at this time of day to give ill Names, which may be worse than either a half or whole Hanging.  Testimony. 
I say again, that a Man of that Pomp of style, that Geny, and all that, would never offer to talk at this rate unless he were sure of what he said.  Trimmer. 
When people are angry they seldom speak no more than they'll Swear to. An enraged style is here visible in every Paragraph, accompanied with an assurance as commonly the mark of weak as good Evidence. Things are already bad enough, we have Villains enough, and but too many, who we are assured both by Proclamation, Confessions, and concurring abundant Evidence, have actually formed a design at least to assist, and we may thence fairly argue to invite the Destroyers of the World to come hither— But why should any delight to weaken the Hands of those who really Love, and to the Death would defend their country, by persuading 'em there are more herein engaged than really are so? Deserves not he to be punished as a Disperser of false News, who should pretend Thirty Thousand French were Landed, and marching up into the country, laying it all under Contribution or Ashes, when only a few Sheep-stealers stroll'd Ashore on a Common by the Sea side? 'Tis something of a parallel case here, and I wonder how you Testimony! who, I'm satisfied, do really, in your way, love your country so well, should yet be so forward to believe so many more Rogues in it, unfit to live, than are or can ever be proved to be so.  
I would fain know whether you are really still of the same mind you were t'other day. That the Nation in Asia did well who Sacrificed their Priests when their Gods were angry? If you don't approve of it, why do you bring it? Examples are not produced for nothing, and this has a fair aim, and a very broad one— It seems the Testimonies of Asia were near akin to ours— the Historian gives us no account of their distinguishing between one and t'other— Those who taught 'em aright, and those who did not— Then besides, you ought to have  told us the rest of the Story— sure that just and pious Nation, whoever they were, must to make all things even, Sacrifice all those who would not heed what the Priest  told 'em in order to appease their Gods when he did his Duty; as well as the Priest for not doing it in giving 'em due warning. Was not there a great deal of need, Testimony! For the Authors assuring us he was no Clergy man? Tho' had he been so, this Advice would have been much more generous, there had been something then of the Roman in't, and we durst not have doubted but he himself had first leaped into the Flames, and devoted himself for his country— for a Man of so much Worth, and such a Figure as he makes, would have been a more valuable Sacrifice than half a thousand little Wretches of 10. l. a year whom he's so brisk upon.  Testimony. 
The Truth is that passage is a little sharp— but then 'tis so pleasant, and there's so much Wit and satire in't that 'tis pity it should have been left out— for 'tis one of the best Flowers there.  Trim. 
I remember I have red somewhere among the cursed Barbarities the poor Protestants suffered in Ireland from their devilish Persecutors, some of those Monsters would at their Feasts and Merry-Meetings have several of these poor Creatures brought in before their Company, and cut and wound them for their diversion, only to see how nimbly they leaped up and down when thus Tormented; and in this they thought themselves the wittiest People, and That, the most Comical Entertainment in the World. The Question in this Case, as well as ours, is, Whether or no the Matter will bear Jesting? 'Tis too home a Jest to set the Rabble a Limbing the Clergy wherever they meet 'em, like Cocks at Shrove-tide; and if they spoil a good Jest by not pushing it home, there wants however no good will in him who has done his part towards it.  Testimony. 
You misrepresent and abuse the Gentleman: See here, he explains it lower. He only Wonders the Nation had not, on the Loss sustained from the French Fleet, Dewitted some of 'em, not all.  Trimmer. 
Most abundantly Civil. He does not invite, or persuade 'em to it, but only Wonders they stand still like Fools, with their Thumbs in their Mouths, or their Hands in their Pockets, and don't rouse themselves, feel their own Strength, choose some Massianello to head 'em, down with Canterbury and Lambeth, as formerly with the Popish Mass-Houses, and sand those in the inside after the Arch Bishop of St. Andrews. Not that he'd have All the Priests in England served so: He'd have a few left for Breeders, or to say Grace, and to teach young Mr. his Propria-quae-maribus now and then. Two things Testimony, a Man less hot then you would have considered; First, Are they Guilty? Secondly, Are these the Judges? Things both not unworthy Consideration, before you ought to have proceeded to judgement and Execution.  Testimony. 
Well; Whether or no his Passion might carry him a little too far, this is sure, The Nation has been notoriously Priest-ridden these many Years: 'Tis now grown weary of being so any longer; and if in throwing their Riders they do happen to give 'em a small rub on the Shins into the bargain, I think 'tis no great matter.  Trimmer. 
Will Passion excuse a single Murder; much less a general one, which I think is no other than a Massacre? How far the Nation has been Priest-ridden, as your People love so civilly to word it, I care not to inquire, wishing there had been formerly no more ground for this pretence then is now. This I own too true; too many of them were formerly Court-ridden, some from Interest, others, I question not, out of Conscience. But were these the only Men who were so? Besides, though some might be, and were thus byassed; Is this now the 'vice of the Age, or not rather the contrary? Han't the Stage, the Philosophers been employed to Ridicule and expose them, and vilify that Society of Man, as well as Religion and common Honesty, for now almost half an Age; And han't they made a fair Progress in this their Design? What would content some People? Would you have 'em all be Gibeonites? Is not Ten Pound a Year little enough for 'em that you'd have 'em still closer to the Grind-stone? Ask the meaning of being Priest-Ridden of very many who are most angry with the Word, and Ten to One but you'll have it explained, by believing those Tales they tell in their Pulpits, of 'vice, and virtue here, and a future State when this is ended. Thus, between the Atheist of one Side, the Superstitious Bigot of tother, either for or against little things, in Comparison of our Liberty and Religion; 'tis so hard to find a true Wise, Honest Man, that one may walk as long as Diogenes did, before we meet that Miracle.  Hot-head. 
You have talked so much Reason both against and for me, that I aclowledge myself convinced of the Weakness of much of my Prejudice; but yet you yourself own so much of what I Asserted to be true, that from thence it appears, tho I had never so great a Love to my country, I must be put on defending myself, before I meet more distant Dangers; and tho never so much a Friend to Peace and Unity, must yet never expect any Truce or Comprehension with Testimony, who hates me worse then all the Seven deadly Sins together.  Trimmer. 
I can prevent his Answer, for 'tis but repeating what you have said, and you are really both of you too much in the right. You're both of you Men of sense enough, where Passion don't blind ye, both Englishmen, and both my Friends, and 'twould be a happy Day for you, me, and Old England, if you were as much so to one another: The very way to make you so, I'll tell you in short, if you'll follow it. Forget all these Objections, you have made on either side. Do as Constantine did,( and save our Constantine the Labour of doing it for you;) burn all Complaints of both sides; for as there's no quarreling, unless two Persons are resolved on't, so to be sure, there can be no Agreement, unless both have a mind to't: Consider, how all Europe are linked in a firm Bow, against their common Enemy; not only Lutheran with Calvanists, and zwinglians with both; but even Papists, with Protestants, to pull down the French tyrant, whose ruin seems very near, unless we shore him up by our own Follies; nor certainly is the breach greater between us then those whom Interest only unites, tho' as has been said of different Sentiments, Religions, and Nations; nay, even National Antipathies are laid asleep, and drowned in the main Cause, as in Deluges, were Dogs and Cats are agreed.  Testimony. 
For my part all I desire is Security to enjoy my own, Liberty to serve my Country, and Satisfaction that my Brother Hot-head here does renounce King James, and all his Works; and then I'd be his Friend for ever, draw my long Sword, and Fight by his Side as long as I can stand, against them whose most effectual Plot I begin to think has been setting us together by the Ears.  Hot head. 
And I only wish I may be secured in what the Law has given me, and the Church stand firm on that legal Basis which has stood proof against all Assaults for above this hundred Year.  Trimmer. 
Now the business begins to look with a good Face, both these are easily done; and I wish hearty you two could Subscribe to this Arbitration, in the Name of all the rest concerned. You ought therefore to give mutual Satisfaction and Releases to each other from this day back-ward, to the beginning of the World, and the work is done.  Hot-head. 
I Solemnly Declare, That I neither do, or ever did know of any Plot against Their present Majesties K. William, and Q. Mary, whom God preserve; but abhor any such thing, as I do any French Invasion, or any pretence of the Late King James, but will oppose both to the utmost of my power; and resolve for the future to live in Peace and Unity with my Brother Testimony, if he'll give me leave.  Testimony. 
I Obadiah Testimony do likewise on my part Declare, That I have no design of Introducing a Common-wealth, or pulling down the Church of England, but only desire to live peaceably and Friendly with my Brother Hot-head, and all other honest Men.  Trimmer. 
And is not this much better then pulling of Quoifs, or splitting of Lungs? After all, I hope you, and others, will take fair warning, neither to give cause of suspicion or Anger: Of one side the Nation has newly recovered its Liberty, of which 'tis so very justly Jealous, as almost to excuse even extravagant Resentments against such whom they have any fair ground to suspect endeavour to bring back their old Slavery. On the other, no honest Man but must take it not very kindly, either to be ranked among Rogues when he does not deserve it, or treated as such, though he abhor them and their Designs, as much as those who accuse him for being a sharer in them.   
FINIS.   

Books Sold by John Harris, at the Harrow in the poultry.  
1. ANgliae Metropolis: or the Present State of London: With Memorials comprehending a Full and Succinct Account of the ancient and Modern State thereof: Its Original, Government, Rights, Liberties, Charters, Trade, Customs, privileges, and other Remarkables, &c. First Written by the late Ingenuous, Tho. Delaune, Gent. and continued to this present Year by a Careful Hand. Price 2 s. 6 d.  
2. THE Naked Truth: or, the True State of the Primitive Church: Concerning, 1. Articles of Faith. 2. An Appendix to the former Subject. 3. Ceremonies and Church-Service. 4. Church-Service. 5. Preaching. 6. Bishops and Priests. 7. Deacons. 8. Confirmation. 9. Church-Government. 10. A Charitable Admonition to all Nonconformists; By an humble Moderator, said to be the Right Reverend Father in God, Herbert, Lord Bishop of Hereford. Price Stitched 1 s.  
3. SIdney Redivivus: or, the Opinion of the late Honourable colonel Sidney, as to Civil Government, wherein is Asserted, and clearly Proved, That the Power of Kings is founded in the consent of the People; who have a Right to call them to an Account for Male Administration; and to restore themselves to their Native Liberty; by which the Proceedings of the Nation against the Late King James are justified. Together, with some Reflections on what is said by Ill-Men, against the present Government. Price 3 d.  
4. THE Rational Sceptist, By a Person of Honour. Price 3 d.  
5. THE Royal Voyage: Or, the Irish Expedition: A Tragi-comedy, Acted in the Years, 1689, and 90. Price 1 s. Sold by R. Baldwin, in the Old-Bayly.  
The End.