Monsieur in a Mousetrap: or the Parable of the Shark and Herring-Pond  By the Author of the Magpies. 
THere is an old English Proverb, that Truth must not be uttered at all times, nor to all persons; and that is the reason, I suppose, why men of late publish their Sentiments in Masquerado. We have already seen the Parables of the Bear-baiting, and the Magpies; now give me leave to present you with that of the Shark and the Herring Pond, since after  Beasts, and Birds, Fish comes next in course.  
There was a time, when the Scaly Inhabitants of the Ocean were divided into several Empires, Kingdoms, Commonwealths, and Provinces; each watery Nation being subject to their respective Sovereigns, even as 'tis here on the Land.  
Amongst the rest, the Shark reigned over the Gudgeons; he a voracious, cruel, tyrannical Fish; they silly, tame, weak, despicable Animals, cut out for Slavery and Contempt. This Shark, or King of the Gudgeons, was the worst of all his Race; for he won'd enter into Leagues with other Royal Fishes, his Neighbours, only to render them the more secure, whilst he amassed up huge Treasures by Oppression of his Subjects, and raised great Armies, with design to rush suddenly upon his Friends and Allies, to bring them into Contribution and Slavery.  
He had one potent Neighbour, who was an Emperor among the Fish, and had many Prince's subject to him. The Shark bore a great spite to this Imperial Fish, and often invaded his Territories, and made great Havoc and Devastation among his Subjects; for he would come on the sudden, (as 'tis the nature of that sly Fish,) and snap off a whole Limb, or Branch of the Empire, together, at a Mouthful; and this at such a time as they were all at Peace, and never dreamed of any such Usage. And to show that he absolutely designed the total ruin of the Imperial Fish, and all his Dependants, the Shark sent Ambassadors to the Whale, a mighty Fish; and who had the largest Dominions, the strongest Armies, and richest Treasury of any Royal Fish in the Ocean: A proud Fish also, proud as Lucifer; for disdaining all Earthly Emblems, he wrote the Moon for his Crest, and styled himself the Shadow of God. To this terrible Whale, I say, the Shark sent Ambassadors, and made private Leagues with him, against the Imperial Fish, persuading him to send Armies to invade the Imperial Territories. Thus whilst the Imperial Fish was busied on one side, in defending himself and his Empire against the Incursions of the Whale, the Shark takes the Opportunity and breaking all his Treaties of Peace, leaps suddenly into the Bowels of the Empire, plundering, murdering and desolating all, wheresoever he came.  
Yet the Shark; not content thus to ruin the Imperial Fish, sets upon another King, among the Scaly Nations, that was a near Relation, Friend and Allye of the Imperial Fish: He sends Armies, and invades the Territories of this King also, who was called the Sea Bull; lays waste his Dominions, leads his Subjects into Captivity, and does him all the mischief that his Malice, Ambition, Covetousness and Pride could prompt him to.  
Thus the Wars continued amongst the Watery Nations for many Years, great Massacres and Depopulations were committed by the Shark, the Whale, and their Armies, so that the Sea was died red with Blood.  
Whilst these things were transacting, it so fell out, that the Crocodile was made King over the Whiting, Salmon, Mayhrills, and Pikes, and other Fish: having by various cunning Trains, and wheadling Artifices, persuaded that innocent sort of Fish, that he was a Dolphin, and no Crocodile; and having made them large Promises, confirming them also with an Oath, that they should enjoy their ancient, native Freedom and Liberty in all things. So that the poor Whiting, deluded by these fair Words, and the insinuating Stories of the Mayhrills, and overpowered by the Salmon, Pikes, Sturgeons, Eels, and other Fish, were contented that the Crocodile should reign over them.  
But in process of Time, the Crocodile began to appear in his naked Colours, and not only broke his Word with the Whiting, but also stretched forth his Tali to the Maybrills, and entrenched upon their Privileges. He also made a private League with the Shark, the Whale, and the Alligators of the Mediterranean; which gave great suspicion to his own Subjects, as well as to the neighbouring Princes and States among the Fish. Great were the Discontents of the Maybrills, the Whiting, and other Fish under the Crocodile's Dominion: They found they were mistaken in their King, who now proved a real Crocodile, a Fish of Prey, and daily imposed on his Subjects such Laws and Orders, as plainly tended to enslave both them and their Posterity. This made them cabal, and lay their heads together how to save themselves from imminent Ruin: So at length it was agreed upon, among the Makyrills, Salmon, Pikes, Eels, and other Fish under the Crocodile's Dominion, to remonstrate their Case to the Dolphin, and invite him to come and deliver them from the Crocodile's Tyranny; for indeed, the Dolphin had a kind of Title to the Government of the Whiting, etc. being descended of the Blood of their ancient Kings. So the Dolphin makes preparation to go against the Crocodile, being assisted by the Commonwealth of Herrings, among whom this Prince kept his Court. In a Word, Upon the first Approach of the Royal Dolphin, with his Army of Herrings, the Crocodile's Subjects deserted him, and joined the Dolphin's Army; so that the Crocodile was forced to swim away, and take Sanctuary with the Shark.  
The News of the famous Expedition of the Dolphin, and the Flight of the Crocodile, was quickly spread through the Scaly Nations, and all rejoiced at the good Success of the Dolphin, who was soon chosen King of the Whiting, Maycrils, Salmon, etc. Then Ambassadors were sent from all parts to congratulate his Accession to the Crocodile's Throne, and to enter into League with Him, against the Shark, the Whale, the Crocodile, and the Alligators of the Mediterranean. Armies were raised on all sides, and many fierce Battles were fought between them: The Dolphin was looked upon as the great Protector and Deliverer of all the Confederate Fish, from the cruel Oppressions and Encroachments of the Whale and the Shark. But in regard the Maycrills (who were chief instrumental in bringing the Dolphin to the Crown) proved treacherous, and held a private Correspondence with the Shark and the Crocodile, other Measures were taken by the Imperial Fish, the Dolphin, the Commonwealth of Herrings, the Sea-Bull, and the rest of the Confederated Fish. And because they could not entrust their secret Counsels to any Ambassador's Envoys, or Agents, without manifest danger of Discovery; therefore they all resolved to meet together in person, appointing the Herring-Pond to be the place of their Randezvouz.  
In the mean while it was thought convenient for the Dolphin to send an Ambassador to the Whale, in Quality of a Mediator for Peace between the Whale and the Imperial Fish. When the Shark heard of this, he ordered his Ambassador at the Whale's Court to oppose the Reception of the Dolphin's Ambassador with all his might; but all his Rhetoric proved ineffectual, for the Dolphin's Ambassador was kindly received by the Whale, and his Overtures of Peace were harkened to, which gave great Encouragement to the Confederated Fish to hope, That an Accommodation might be concluded between the Imperial Fish and the Whale, whereby the former would be in a better Capacity to make War upon the Shark, his powerful Neighbour and old Enemy.  
Well, the Time came, when the Confederated Sovereigns of the Fish were to meet together; great Preparations were made to honour so Royal and Illustrious a Congress; and especially to welcome the Dolphin to the Herring-Pond, who was made Guarantee of this Princely League. In fine, they meet at the Time and Place appointed, not without great danger of the Dolphin's Life and Liberty, who as he was swimming to the place of Rendezvous, happened to be benighted, and stuck his Fins fast on a Shelf of Ice, so that he could not disengage Himself in less than 18 Hours time, whereby he was liable to have been starved to Death with Hunger and Cold, and likewise to have been killed or taken Prisoner by any of the Shark's Scouts,, who used to lie in wait in those parts. But Neptune and Heaven were kinder to him, and next Day he happily got rid of this Remora, and arrived safe at the Herring-Pond, to the inexpressible Joy and Satisfaction of all the Fish in those parts.  
Monsieur the Shark finding all things to succeed well to the Confederated Fishes, and that he himself was like to be caught in a Net, they having surrounded Him with Armies on all Hands, and having made a fair Step towards the concluding of a Peace with the Whale; considering these things, I say, he sent an Ambassador to the Congress at the Herring-Pond, with spacious pretences, and insinuating Wheadles, in order to an Accommodation. This Ambassador was a Fish of no small Quality and Extraction, a cunning Statesman and good Orator: (For the Fish do not come a whit behind the Birds and Beasts in all manner of Accomplishments) He Addresses himself therefore to that August Assembly in Words to this effect.  
Most Serene and Illustrious Princes, and High and Mighty Lords, etc.  

THE Shark my Master being desirous to prevent for the future the spilling of the Blood of any Fish, from the Whale to the Miller's Thumb, has taken into serious consideration, the Original, progress, and present state of the War between him and the confederated Sovereigns of the Fish; and having maturely weighed all things in his impartial Gills and finding his end approaching (for he was well stricken in years) for the better discharging of his conscience, has sent me to acknowledge in his Name, that he is the first Aggressor, and that the insatiable Thirst of Empire has carried him beyond the Bounds of Justice and the civil Laws of the Sea. Wherefore being desirous to die in peace, & repose his old carcase in Quiet, he has made his last Will and Testament, whereof I here present your Royal Highness, and your High and Mightiness, an Authentic Copy under my Masters own Signet, and the public Seal of his Kingdom.  

A Copy of the Shark's Last Will and Testament.  
IN the Name of Neptune and Thetis and all the Sea Gods and Goddesses, etc. I Lodowick Rhodomontado Shark, King of the Gudgeons and other Watery People, finding my Fins begin to decay and fail me, my Teeth grow rotten and drop out, with many other Symptoms of approaching Death; being also of a great Age and my Carcase almost rotten, yet in perfect sound Sense and presence of Mind, have thought fit to make, and do by these Presents make this my last will and Testament.  
Imprimis, I restore all the Bones of the Herrings, Turbets, Mullers, Plaise, Flounder and other Fish, whom I and my Armies have massacred in the Dominion of the Imperial Fish, the Sea-Bull or any of their Friends and Allies; I say I restore these Bones to the surviving Friends and Relations of the Fishes so massacred to be disposed of at their Discretion.  
2. Item, I bequeath to the Imperial Fish, the Sea-Bull and their Friends and Allies, ●●l those great or small Limbs and Brancoes which I have at several times slyly and unjustly snapped from them when they were not ware of me.  
3. Item, I bequeath to the aforesaid Persons all the Contribution Money, that I have unjustly squeezed from their Subjects by Fire and Sword. With an Overplus of as many Millions as will compensat for the Losses sustained by their said Subjects in Houses, Goods and Provision plundered and destroyed by my Armies.  
4. Item, I bequeath my Kingdom to the Dolphin and the rest of the Confederated Fishes, as they can agree about it.  
5. Lastly, I bequeath my Carcase to the Sea-Hogs, and my Skin to be stuffed and hung up for a Memorial on the Top of Mount Teneriff, as a sign to all succeeding Generations. And I appoint the Imperial Fish, the Dolphin, the Sea-Bull with the rest of their Friends and Allies to be the Executions of this my last will and Testament. Provided always, That they shall not molest me so long as I live, but that there shall be a Cessation of Arms from this time till the Day of my Death. After which it may and shall be lawful for them or any of them to enter and take Possession of my Kingdom, and to put in Exectuion all the Particulars of this my Last Will and Testament.  
Given at our Court at Shark-Castle, etc.    
Monsieur Gudgeon the Shark's Ambassador, having thus delivered his Master's Last Will and Testament to the Prince and Lords of the Congress, was ordered to withdraw, whilst they consulted about an Answer. There needed no great Deliberation In an Affair, which they were all provided for; wherefore after some time taken for Forms sake, the Shark's Ambassador was called in again, and the Speaker of the Congress told him in the Name of the Prince: and States there assembled together; That the Shark, the said Ambassador's Master, had so often broke his Word, violuted his Promises and Oaths, that they were all unanimously resolved never to treat with him again, but to take those measures as should seem most expedient to themselves without giving him any further Account, Reason or Answer.  
Away swims poor Pilgarlick the Gudgeon with this short Reply to his Master the Shark, who found himself caught in a Trap, and knew no● which way to escape. He fluttered and flounced from one fide of his Trap to another, like a Captive Mouse; but all in vain, for the Herrings, the Whiting, the Salmon, the Flounder, and innumerable other sorts of Fish had besieged him, and hemmed him in, resolving every one to have a touch at his old Jacket before long. What the Issue was, you shall hear, as soon as I receive the Intelligence from Neptun's Currier.   

reprinted in the Year, 1691.