DON JUAN LAMBERTO: Or, a Comical HISTORY OF THE Late Times.  
The First Part.  
Bianca MONTELION Knight of the Oracle, etc.  
The second Edition Corrected.  
LONDON: Printed by I. Brudenell for Henry Marsh at the Prince's Arms in Chancery-lane near Fleetstreet. 1661.   

  

Don JUAN LAMBERTO: OR, A COMICAL HISTORY OF The late Times.  

CHAP. 1. How Cromwell Sultan of Britain died, and what befell his Son the Meek Knight.  
NOw had Cromwell the dread Sultan of Britain through the importunity of death, with much unwillingness left this World, and his Son Ricardus, surnamed for his great valour the Meek Knight, reigned in his stead: When lo fortune having now a mind to eat sauce with his meat, resolves to gather this great Mushroom, and lay him in pickle. There were at that time in England many good Knights who had been greatly despised and evilly entreated by the Sultan in his life time, who sought all advantages to reck their most ●implacable malice on his Son the Meek Knight who was placed on the Throne in the room of his Father: The chief of these was Sir Lambert, the Knight of the Golden Tulep; One of an eager and revengeful spirit; and beside that very ambitious, so that he not only sought to be revenged on the Meek Knight for the injuries he had received from his Father, but to make himself chief Soldon also; however he was very sly and close, and would by no means discover himself until that by his fair carriage he had won to his side made many of the chief Sultan's Knights, who had him in great honour and esteem, for that they took him to be a right cunning and valorous Champion.   

CHAP. II. Of the Birth of Sir Vane, Knight of the most mystical Allegories.  
WHen nature by true consanguinity had created him in his Mother's Womb, she dreamt to be conceived of a Firebrand, that should set on fire her Mansion House, which dream she long concealed and kept secret until her painful burden was grown so heavy that she was scarce able to endure it: so finding at length an opportunity to reveal it to her husband, she revealed her dream in this manner, My most honourable Lord, you know that I am your true and lawful Wife, yet never was in in hope of Child till now, or that by me your name should survive: Therefore I conjure you by the pleasures of your youth, and the dear and natural love you bear unto the Infant conceived in my Womb, that either by art, wisodome, or some other inspiration you calculate upon my trouble; some dreams, and tell me what they are; For night by night no sooner doth sweet sleep seize upon my senses, but I dream that I am conceived of a dreadful firebrand, the which shall set on fire our Mansion House: To which her husband answered in this manner, My most dear and beloved Lady, what art or learning can perform with all convenient speed shall he accomplished; for never shall rest take possession of my heart, nor sleep close up the closerts of my eyes, till I understand the signification of this troublesome matter.  
Thereupon he traveled through many Deserts and Wildernesses, hoping to meet with the Hermitage of some Inchantress, but he could find none: For then Yilil the Necromancer dwelled not in the Strand, neither were there any Sorcerers in Southwark; Whereupon seeing no other means to attain his desired end, he went and bought him a Fortune-Book and a Bale of Dice, and carried them home to his beloved Lady, who with great earnestness expected his return for two reasons, first out of curiosity, and then because that supper was like to be spoiled. Being returned home, and having refreshed his weary body with corporal Food; as he was sitting at the Table, after the cloth was taken away, he called for the said Fortune-Booke, and ●aused his Wife to throw three Dice, under the Philosopher Pythagoras, who directed them to this following saying of Haly the Conjurer, whi●h gave them full satisfaction of the nature of the Infant. The Verses were these.  
This Son is thine with heavens good leave,  
His Tongue all people shall deceive;  
Folks shall thee curse for thy night's work,  
When thou him got'st, nor Christian, nor Turk.  
Throw Dice no more on any Day,  
For it is truth what ere I say.   

CHAP. III. How the Knight of the mysterious Allegories grew up, and how he put strife between his Mother and her Maids, and caused his Father and Mother to go together by the ears.  
While both the Father & the Mother were scanning what the meaning should be of this same Oracle; The Child himself gave still an exposition more and more clear as he grew in years: 'Tis true that when he was a Child he acted but the Child's part, and exercised his Talents on more mean subjects, though he were not unmindful of his work in what ever Sphere he moved: He began with his Mother's Maids, between whom and his Mother he made perpetual discords and dissensions, by accusing either the Maid to the Mistress, or the Mistress to the Maid; nor could he endure to see his Father and Mother in peace, using the same policies to set them also at variance, which he did with so much dexterity, that one might perceive how he made it his study: What ever he knew his Father disliked in his Mother, that he made her continually acting: and what his Mother approved not of in his Father, of that he rendered his Father always most guilty.   

CHAP. IU. How his Father sent him to School, and how he there set the Boys against their Master, and bred differences between the Master and his Wife.  
BUT when these tricks of the young stripling were revealed to his Father, he bethought himself of ridding this little vermin out of his house: Wherefore he caused great search to be made after a worthy Pedagogue: and at length one was found and brought unto him: To whom the Father of the stripling thus said, Sir Pedagogue, I have here a Son whom I woul● have thee to instruct, and bring up with great care; therefore if thou wilt take him, and keep him seven years, and give him such instruction as thou art able, I will after that greatly advance thee and thy generation. Sir Pedagogue made the Father of the youth a great bow, and a most obsequious leg, and said unto him, Sir Knight, I will perform all thy commands. Thereupon he took the stripling home, and endoctrinated him with very exceeding pains. But long had not the young Lad been there, but according to his usual course he sowed such seeds of dissension among the Boys, that instead of their former obedience and respect, they exercised now nothing but rebellion and disobedience: It was enough for the Master who before could frown every Scholar he had into a looseness, now to beseech them to lay down their Brick-brats. His Wife too, who had before so long been loving to him, now scolds at him like a Butter-whore, and he hates her that so lately was so dear to him. Father's complain▪ the Master fumes, the Mistress rants▪ the Husband vexes; in a word, all things are so much out of order, that Sir Pedagogue preferring his present peace before his future advancement resolves to carry back this primum mobile of mischief, for such he soon discovered him to be. to his own Parent, not being able him else longer to endure the trouble of his vexatious contrivances: When the ancient Seer beheld his Son so soon returned unto him he said unto the Pedagogue, What are the seven years expired already? Then said the Pedagogue, I well know Sir Knight, that the seven years are not yet expired; but so great do I find the capacity of your Son, that should I keep him as my poor gymnasyolum, I should both wrong you▪ and injure the Youth: Therefore have I restored him to you again, that you may provide for him according to his wonderful and most forward genius. The crafty Fox his Father too well knew the disposition of his young Cub, therefore said he unto the Pedagogue, O no! This is not the cause of my Sons so soon return, I fear something worse, and therefore I conjure thee to tell me the truth: Was he not wont to set thee and thy Boys together by the ears? Did she not cause much strife and contention between thee and thy Wife, so that neither thou, nor they, nor she could rest in quiet for him: To which the Pedagogue made answer, that since he must confess the truth, 'twas even as he had said, and no otherwise. At which words of the Pedagogue, the old man shook his head as if he would have shaken his teeth out of his mouth▪ for he was very sorrowful to hear of the evil courses which his young Son proceeded in.   

CHAP. V. How Sir Vane sent his Son to the King's School, and of the tumults which he raised there by his Sorceries; how he plotted with the other Boys to break the Preceptor's neck, and of his Allegory.  
SIR Vane having had so ill success with his Son in one place. resolves to send him to another, where he might be more severely looked after: He had not thought long, but he thought of the King's School: Now it so came to pass, that at that time there lived there a Giant, who was a very cruel and imperious Dominator over the buttocks of youth, one that spared none, but very grievously and sorely lashed all alike: he was height Sir O beston, whose School was licks Kalybs Rock, where you heard nothing all day long, but the screeks and rueful groans of children and boys elaborately corrected. Hither the little Fox came, his Father intending that he should be in this place terrified out of all his designs: But what mortal is able to stop the course of the splendiferous Son, who can quell the raging Boreas, or change the wild nature of the roaring Lion? Even so impossible was it to drive back the ill nature of this Youth, though it were with Pitch-forks; wherefore he went on in his old trade, putting in practise his wont spells and magical words: the effects whereof did presently appear, for in a little while the Scholars were all in an uproar, some would only study on holy days, and play upon working days, others would begin at the end of their Books, and read toward the beginning, saying it was the best way, and that the Preceptor was a Dunce: Then because that one of the Preceptors knowing the dangerous consequence of these innovations, striven to oppose them, young Sir Vane contrives with them how to break his neck, and so ordered the matter that they should follow the Preceptor to the top of the stairs, and throw him down headlong. But the plot being discovered, he was called to a very strict account. Sirrah quoth the Giant of the King's School, what fury hath possessed thy overwhelmed mind, proud princock thus to adventure thy feeble contrivances against the violence of my strong arm: The Youth though confounded with the threatening words of the Giant, durst not deny what he knew was so well known; and therefore he sought to put it off with an Allegory, for he was full sore afraid of the Giant, who had then in his hand a great Tree which he managed with as much dexterity, as if it had been a Ferula; Sir Giant, quoth he, I do deny that ere I advised any Person to break the Preceptors' neck. How quoth the Giant, can you deny what is already proved to your face? Then answered the youn Sorcerer I am not rightly understood, for I persuaded them not to break the substantial neck of the Preceptor, but the invisible neck of his pride. Then quoth the Giant, Oh Uarlet! hast thou such fine excuses so early for thy mischief? but the shall stand thee in little stead. Then the Giant caused his breeches to be taken down, and his shixt to be taken up, and with his Tree so nimbly bestirred himself, and laid such vehement blows upon his flesh, that they seemed to shake the Earth. There quoth the Giant, take the deserved reward of thy treasons, and be gone from hence thou wicked and destructive vermin, for I will no more endure thee, since I have now broken thy charms wherewith thou didst intend to have enchanted my Castle.   

CHAP. VI How he was sent into Nova Anglia, and how he prevailed there also by his Sorceries, how he was thrust out again by the people of that place, and what the Seer Cotton said to him at his departure.  
AFter that the Giant of the King's School had thus expelled him, he betook himself to the Court, but because he could be pleased with nothing, he also took very great distaste at the government of the king who then reigned in Britain. Wherefore he began to give his enchanted Cup about, and many drank thereof and were poisoned so that there appeared great signs of future contentions and confusions among those of the Court who were the King's subjects by reason of his coming thither, which when his father saw, he greatly feared the inconveniencies which might arise from the sorceries of his Son, wherefore he contrived how he might send him out of the Land. Therefore he devised with the King that he might be sent away unto Nova Anglia as Governor of that place; Now so it was that at that time the people of that Country, as most people that are but newly seized in their possessions lived in great peace and quiet, and served the God of their Country with exceeding unity, but no sooner was Sir Vane come thither, but he caused a wonderful alteration of affairs among the people. He had delivered into his hands all the chief Castles of the Country, so that he commanded with a very great controls; Then said Sir Vane unto the people of the Land, is it fit that ye should maintain a company of idle persons here only for talking unto you in your Temples once a week; are not ye yourselves able to do as much? yea and more if you would set yourselves thereunto, why should you then part with such a considerable share of the swe●t of your brows, and that upon so trivial a score; When the people examined these things, they seemed very plausible at first, whereupon some of them denied to pay the Priest his due, others drew away the people from their Priests, and instructed them in the Fields, and their private Houses, having the Temples in great contempt and derision, which when the Priests perceived, they were greatly displeased, and cursed the people, than the people cursed them, so that in a short while their private animosities broke forth into public rage one against the other. When the Elders of the Land saw the confusion which was likely to happen, they resolved to remove the cause of their mischief; therefore they went to Sir Vane and sharply rebuking him, bid him prepare to be gone out of their Country, for that they had provided a ship, & a Coach to carry him to the sea. Sir Vane who was an errand Coward, durst not deny them, so they placed him in a Cart, causing him to sit down on an old Trunk on that part which is over the Horse; after this said the Elders unto the people, this is he that hath caused all this mischief among us; Then the people followed him, hooping and hollowing, not ceasing to throw dirt and stones at him till he was got into the Ship; The Seer Cotton seeing him departed said unto the people, let us now return with joy that this viper hath left us, for he is the bane of Nations, nor can any greater unhappiness befall a Land than for him to set his foot there. When with tears in his eyes he cried out Oh England, England, better is it that that Ship should perish with the Master, and all the Mariners, then that that young Man whom thou didst breed should return unto thee again.   

CHAP. VII. How Sir Vane was honoured by the Priest of the Temple of Blind Zeal, and how he was by the said Priest anointed Knight of the Order of the most mysterious Allegories.  
AFter this it came to pass that when the Priest of the Temple of Blind Zeal heard of the great fame of Sir Vane, and of the opinions which he held, he thought the time long till he could come to interparley with him. For said he to himself our Religion is built upon the bases of anarchy and confusion, to the establishing of which all the imaginations of this Man's brains do tend; Wherefore the Priest sent unto him two fellows that were shabby, whose Shoes were tied with packthread, and in whose eyes Cuffs were as the abominations of the Heathen, who calling for the Man of the House, presented him with this Epistle.  
The Priest of the Order of Blind Zeal, to the most mischievous of men Sir Vane, high in his imaginations, low in his deserts, and most imperious in his Council.  
My Son,  
HAving lately heard of thy great virtues so agreeable with the Heresies which I profess, according to the dictates of that powerful Goddess whose chief Priest I am, I could not choose but send unto thee these two slovenly fellows partly to confirm thee, and partly to scrape acquaintance with thee. I do find that thou dost imitate Mahomet very well and dost endeavour to root up one Religion by letting in another to overpower it. Stay ye● but a little while, and I will be with thee and help thee with my exhortations, in the mean time be kind unto those two whom I have sent unto thee, for the one is a Tinker, the other a Currier, but both great Deceivers. Farewell.  
When Sir Vane had read this Epistle, he was then also covetous of the acquaintance of the High Priest, and immediately sent for him; when he was come, they discoursed together, and when they had so done, they were filled with joy at the sight of each other: For he talked unto the High Priest in most high and mysterious Allegories, saying unto him that Magistracy was the Throne and Seat of the Beast. That the Rulers of the Earth must be brought at last to serve him and his faction; That his people are not to be subject to the judicials of Mo●es; That the new Creature is faith, which translates a Man out of the natural into the spiritual body, and is called his new Creature state; That all Ministers that have the Father and the Son, need not run to the Magistrate for maintenance. That all Ministers that upheld Steeple Houses were the relics of Popery; That the fal● of Adam was only a type of the instability of fortune. That the Devil is the universal worldly spirit, exercising dominion and rule under various forms and administrations of government. That learning and Universities are of dangerous consequences in a well ordered government.  
When the High Priest heard him speak these things he marvelled very much, and greatly praised him, for that quoth he, if these things were well taught, and well believed, they would doubtless destroy the religion of the Christians, who are our most mortal enemies. Then did the High Priest bow unto Sir Vane saying to him, Thou art in power, and as thou endeavourest to do our work so is it fit that thou shouldst receive honour from us. 'Tis true quoth he, thou art a Knight after the order of the Christians, but throw it off, for it will be very injurious unto thee; and take from me a title which shall be more beneficial, and comfort thyself in this that then thou shalt be a better Knight than any in the World. Then did the High Priest ask him whether he could fight or no. To which Sir Vane replied that he never could nor never would fight. The High Priest was right glad of this, for that he could now perform the office himself by anointing, whereas otherwise he must have been forced to have sent for a Warrior on purpose to have dubbed him. Thus the High Priest took leave for the time, telling him that in three days he would return; desiring him in that space to prepare himself for the honour he was to receive. He was to eat nothing but emblematical diet, as round cabbages which seem to resemble the Earth, and its destruction by fire, in that they are to be boiled before they can be eaten. He was likewise to feed upon Swine's flesh because a Hog was the emblem of ingratitude: he might likewise feed upon Horse flesh, because the Bible spoke much of them, and that eating them out of the way was the only means to keep Men from not putting their trust in them; He might drink bottled Claret by reason of its emblematical life and quickness, and he might likewise take Tobacco if his Pipe had this motto on it, Evanescit ut su nus; but he was forbid to drink Greek Wine because that the Christians used it at their Communions.  
In the mean while the High Priest, being loath to defile so great a solemnity with any oil that had been unhallowed by the touch of the Christians, sent two of his Disciples to cut off a great piece of a certain Whale which was killed a little before in the River of Thame●is, which accident they attributed to the kind provision of the Goddess blind Zeal, thereof to make a sacred oil of their own, and which they prayed the Goddess blind Zeal to allow of for their purpose; This done, after the end of three days the High Priest returned to Sir Vane, whom he first questioned concerning the performance of what he had commanded, who whether he had done it or no, so well dissembled his past obedience that the High Priest oft times gave credit unto his saying; Then the High Priest proceeding, it is now Sir Vane quoth he, that I must cause thee to kneel, that others after this may be bound to kneel to thee; To which when Sir Vane had yielded, he poured the Trane Oil upon his locks, bidding him then to rise up Sir Vane, Knight of the Order of the most mysterious Allegories. Then giving him some few instructions, as that he should be zealous in carrying on the great work of building up Babel, which the God of the Christians had for so long time hindered from being finished, and that he should seek nothing but the advancement of confusion and Atheism, most solemnly he took his leave of Sir Vane, and retired into his Temple which was situate in that part of the Metropolis of Britain called Colemanstreet,   

CHAP. VIII. How Sir Lambert Knight of the Golden Tulep, and Sir Vane Knight of the most mysterious Allegories, made a League together.  
THE honour done to Sir Vane being greatly noised abroad, and his dexterity in mischief being very well known, Sir Lambert thinking him a fit instrument for the effecting his design, came to him and exceedingly desired his assistance. Then said Sir Vane unto the Knight of the Golden Tulep, I am right glad to see so good a Knight at my Castle. Know then Sir Lambert that I have always bore you a very great lov●, neither is there any Knight in Britain whom I honour like unto yourself, I know right well that thou dost far exceed in feats of Arms, and that I am right craftier in council; wherefore then should we suffer the Meek Knight to be chief Sultan over us. who is not at all like unto thee for Chivalry? Why do we not revenge on him the injuries done us by his Father? When Sir Lambert heard this, he waxed greatly in wrath with the Meek Knight, and swore by his sturdy steed Snorter, that he would not cease till he had pulled the Sultan out of his Palace by the ears, so that he might have the advice of the Knight of the most mysterions Allegories. Then Sir Vane promised to assist Sir Lambert all that he might, on condition that he should be the next in dignity to him when he was chief Sultan. Then Sir Lambert swore unto Sir Vane by all the souls of his Ancestors that so it should be; And moreover quoth Sir Lambert, in token of this friendship between us, I freely give the fair Maid of Wimbleton my Daughter unto thy eldest Son so well known by the name of the overgrown Child; and know right well Sir Vane that she is a right comely Dame, and one for whom many a sturdier Knight than he would be content to try the sharpness of their blood thirsty lances. She shall have for her Dowry my Palace of Wimbleton, once the Dowry of a Queen, and ●f my sword fail me not I may chance to make her chief Soldaness of Britain. When Sir Vane heard this he looked full jocandly ●pon Sir Lambert; Then they clipped and hugged one another, and swore to be as true to one another's interest, as the Cripples of the Forest of Covent Garden are to one another in concealing the Rogueries which they commit.   

CHAP. IX. How the Knight of the Golden Tulep, and the Knight of the mysterious Allegories came to the Castle of Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, where they met with the grim Giant Desborough, and how they went all three and pulled the Meek Knight who was then chief Sultan out of his Palace by night.  
SIR Lambert seeing now fortune begin again to cast her wont smiles upon him, resolved to make use of her while she was in a good humour, wherefore he showed great willingness to Sir Vane to go on in his intended design. Then said Sir Vane, why should our delay be any hindrance unto us. Let us incontinently go unto Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, who hath great power over the Sultan's Forces, I know right well that I can with ease cause him to do whatever I list, for that his understanding is exceeding shallow, and we will make him to believe that he shall be chief Sultan, on condition that he will help us for to depose the Meek Knight Sir Lambert was right glad of this advice, so they road on toward the Forest of Saint james, near unto which stood the Castle of the contemptible Knight. They were no sooner come to the Gate, but they were conducted by gentle Stamford, (who was chief Squire to Sir Fleetwood,) up unto his Master's lodging. Then said Sir Vane unto the Contemptible Knight, rouse up thyself thou Man of courage, and let us not be in bondage unto the Meek Knight, who is young and hath not understanding and wisdom sufficing for so great an employment. Hast thou not been ●n all the Sultan's Wars? Think then how treacherously the Sultan has dealt with thee, in preferring the Meek Knight his Son before thee. 'Tis true then answered Sir Fleetwood, that it is the desire of my heart to make myself chief Sultan, but there are so many valorous Knights that will oppose me, that I fear much to undertake the enterprise. Then said sir Lambert I know right well sir Flee●wood, that without force we can little avail, but of that I make no question, knowing the great honour and reverence which the Host of the Sultan beareth to me. Moreover I have told many of them that which I intent, and they are resolved with me to live and die. Then said sir Fleetwood right cunningly, since that you sir Lambert can prevail so much by your own power, let not me interpose my weak force to injure the fame of so worthy a Knight, But sir Lambert who was as cunning as he, replied that he would not adventure without him, that as he was chief in power he should be chief in the undertaking. Alas sir Fleetwood quoth the Knight of the Golden Tulep, think you that I am arrived here to rob so hardy a Knight as you are of your prize; No sir Fle●twood for I only come at the request of the good Knight sir Vane to proffer my assistance, which if you shall not think fit to receive, I am ready to retire, for that there be other Forests and Castles to seek adventures in besides those which are in this Country. Sir Fleetwood was right glad of what Sir Lambert said, so that according to his custom he wept for joy, not thinking that the Knight of the Golden Tulep had spoken treacherously. As they were thus parlying together in came the grim Giant Desborough, who lived in the Forest of Saint james that was close by. With your leave Sir Knights quoth he, I am come here to visit my Brother the Contemptible Knight, and I ho●e that does not offend ye If ye think yourselves affronted, and that any of ye be so hardy as to dare fight in defence of the meek Knight, I do here openly challenge him the combat, for that I do abominably hate the Meek Knight and all his adherents; Then answered sir Lambert and sir Vane, that they were as mortal enemies to the Soldan as he was, and therefore they desired the Giant not to think amiss of them. Say you so quoth the Giant Desborough, than you say well, else had I crushed ye to pieces in my fury, like rotten apples; then proceeding, quoth he, what shall we do with this proud Prin●●●● who hath raised himself to be a Soldan over us? Is it fit that the Uncle should be governed by the Nephew? Sir Vane willing all he could to incense the Giant to anger; told him that it was an allegory of the World's confusion, when Children rule their Parents. Upon that the Giant Desborough stamped so hard upon the floor, that you might have heard it a mile off, and swore by all his Country Gods, that his Nephew the Meek Knight should no longer live, if he refused to resign his Soldanship; the words were no sooner out of his mouth, but he draws out a whole Canon out of his pocket, charged which a brace of Bullets, each weighing twenty pound, and cocking the same, commanded the Contemptible Knight, with the Knight of the Golden Tulep, to follow him. It was now night, and pale Cynthia had withdrawn her light from the World, unwilling to behold the treacherous actions of mortals; when they began their journey toward the Palace of the Soldan, they road hard, and being soon arrived there, they went directly to the Sultan's lodging, for that the Sultan's janissaries being before corrupted, gave them free access. Then said the Giant to the Soldan, proud Peacock thinkst thou to perch over thy betters any longer? resign thy power, thy Sceptre, and thy Royal Robes, and dissolve thy Council that thou kéepest to plot against us, or I will take thee such a blow on the pate▪ that I will make thy head ring noon, and send thee to the infernal shades, there so make vain complaints to Pluto of thy misfortunes, wi●h that the Giant Desborough heaved up his weighty Instrument of death, on purpose to have given him such a blow as should have rend the foundations of his noddle; The Meek Knight was astonished at the sight, and stood for a while as one that were dumb, but seeing the danger that his brains were in, he fell on his knees before the Giant Desborough, beseeching him in gentle courtesy to distressed Knights, that he would spare his life, and he would submit to whatever the Giant should command; Hereupon they disrobed him of his apparel, and attired him in simple and base array, his arms that were lately employed to wield the mighty Sceptre, they now strongly fettered up in Iron bolts, and so conveyed him to a desolate Dungeon, which belonged unto his own Palace, where he had nothing to do but to make these sad Lamentations,  
O cruel destinies, why is this grievous punishment allotted to my penance; have I conspired against the Majesty of Heaven, that they have thrown this vengeance on my head, shall I never recover my former liberty, that I may be revenged one way or other upon the causers of my imprisonment; May the Plagues of Pharaoh light upon their Counties, and the miseries of Oedipus on their Tenants, that they may be eye witnesses of their daughter's ravishment, and behold their Mansion house's flaming like the burning battlements of Troy. Thus lamented he the loss of his liberty, accursing his birth day, and the hour of his creation; his sighs exceeded the number of the Ocean sands, and his tears the Water-bubbles in a rainy day, in which condition we shall leave him, and go to talk of something else.   

CHAP. X. How Sir Vane's Son Icleped (the overgrown Child) courted the fair Maid of Wimbleton, and of the gown which she bespoke, and how 5000. Jeweller's wrought day and night to finish it.  
LEave we now to speak of the Meek Knight, and return we to relate what happened between the Son of Sir Vane, Icleped the overgrown Child, and the fair Maid of Wimbleton, whom partly in pursuance of his Father's commands, partly out of an eager desire he had to be doing, he did very hotly pursue in the way of love, and so forth. Sir Van● was very glad of the match, hoping thereby that after the death of the Knight of the Golden Tulep, his Son might come to be chief● Soldan; And Sir Lambert liked it, knowing that well he could not come to be Soldan himself without his friendship and assistance; which he had no other way to make sure to himself but by so near an alliance between their Families. Therefore when the overgrown Child had dressed himself as fine as any fivepence, he called straightway for his Father's Chariot, and bid the Charioteer drive unto the Palace of Sir Lambert: When he came unto the Gate, the Porter oftsoones opened the Gate, that he might have entrance; Then was he straightway beheld by one of the Pages to the Fair Maid, who with great reverence met him and conducted him to the chamber where his Lady did repose herself; When the overgrown Child came into the room, he was exceedingly amazed to behold the beauty of his Mistress, so that he remained dumb for a great space. While he stood in this posture, his backside being ashamed that his mouth should be so silent, opened itself, and with one single monosyllable did so alarm the company, that it is thought that the fair Maid of Wimbleton would have been very angry had he come only as an ordinary Suitor. Some say the overgrown Child, did this unawares, but others more probably affirm, that he had a double end in it, either because he saw himself in such an amaze, to make his Mistress amazed at him as well as he was at her, or else hoping that the good nature of his Lady might cause her to blush for his miscarriage, whereby he might have an opportunity to see the full blown roses of her cheeks; but as soon as he was recovered of his ecstasy, he began to bethink himself of saying something that might be acceptable unto the fair Lady, whom he so admired; Most divine and peerless Paragon, quoth he, Thou only wonder of the World for beauty, and excellent parts of nature, know that thy two twinkling eyes that shine more bright than the stars of Heaven, being the true darts of love, have pierced my heart, and those thy crimson cheeks as lovely as Aurora's countenance have wounded me with love. Therefore except thou grant me kind comfort, I am like to spend the rest of my days in sorrow, care and discontent. To this the Fair Maid of Wimbleton replied, that she returned him many thanks for the courteous proffer of his affection. Gentle Sir, quoth she, seeing that it is the will of my Father, that we two should lie together in one bed, let not his will be resisted, but let us enjoy one another as soon as we can, for often hath my Nurse spoken proverbially unto me, saying, Happy is that wooing, which is not long a doing. When it was known that the two parties had got one the others affection, the Bonfires blaze, the Bells rang, and Sir Lambert and Sir Vane were both drunk that night for joy. Then were there great preparations for the solemnisation of these most Royal Nuptials, but that which surpassed all, was the Gown in which she was to appear when she was to go unto the Temple; indeed so great was the rarity of it, that it requires a golden Pen to write it, and a tongue washed in the conservatives of the Muse's honey, to declare it; for it was to be made of Diamonds, set in Kings of Barbary Gold. The toil was great, so that it required a multitude of Artificers to accomplish the same; therefore they sought far and near for Men of Art, and in a short space they got together to the number of five thousand, who wrought day and night in their several employments to carry on the great work. These Diamonds were all enchanted by Magic Art, and the virtues of them were so precious, that it is almost incredible to report: For therein one might behold the secret mysteries of all the liberal Sciences, and by art discover what was practised in the Courts of other Princes; If any Hill within a thousand miles of the place were enriched wi●h a Mine of Gold, they would describe the place and Country, and how deep it lay closed in the Earth. By t●em you might truly calculate upon the birth of Children, succession of Princes, and the continuance of Commonwealths, with many other excellent virtues, which I omit for this time.   

CHAP. XI. How Sir Lambert went to fight against the Christians in the Land of Cheshire, how he overthr●w them, and of the challenge that was sent h●m by the Swinh●ard of Maxfield.  
SIR Lambert and the Giant Desborough having as we said before, divested the Soldan of his power, and cast him into Prison, they set up in his stead ●●urty Tyrants to govern in his room, until Sir Lambert could come to be Soldan himself; For you must know that all the Paynims that were in arms, were under the command of Sir Lambert. Now these forty Tyrants being in power, for they were Paynim● also, tyrannised over the Christian● in most grievous wise; So that when the Christians could no longer endure the sad and heavy oppressions of the Paynim●, which were indeed more lamentable than tongue can express, they were resolved to be avenged of the Paynims, and to rise up in arms against them. For you are to understand, that the Christians had a King of their own, a just and mild Prince, whose right it was to rule over them; but the Paynims having overthrown him in battle, forced him to quit his lawful inheritance, and to die out of his Kingdom. But when the Christians groaned under the heinous cruelties of the Paynims, than they bethought themselves again of recalling their King, and of freeing themselves from the power of the Paynims; Then did the Christians assemble together in many places of the Realm of Bri●ain, forming themselves into Bands and Troops in most Soldierlike fashion, but no where did they rise in so great numbers as they did in the famous Country of Wa●e●, and the Forests of Chester; This so alarmed the forty panim Tyrants, that they forthwith sent Sir Lambert with a very great Army against them. When Sir Lambert drew near unto them, he encamped his whole Army exceeding strongly. But when the Christians saw how near the Army of Sir Lambert was unto them, and how weak they were, by reason that they were disappointed of those succours that were promised them, they were sore afraid, for that their number was but small, and besides this, they were most of them young Men, that never had practised feats of arms before. The Paladine of Chester saw right well in what an ill plight his Troops were; wherefore he had no mind to have fought with Sir Lambert at that time: for that Sir Lambert's Forces were all men approved in War, right hardy and courageous, and exceeding many more in number. Sir Lambert well knowing the advantage he had in his numerous Pagans, marched towards the Christians, who were encamped beyond the Dangerous Bridge, with great fury, with an intention for to give them an immediate assault, and force them from the Dangerous Bridge: whereupon the Christians were in great doubt whether they should resist the Pagans, or return again every one to his own home: when lo, upstood the Swinheard of Maxfield, otherwise called the nameless Knight, and uttered his mind in these words, My most dearly beloved Countrymen, quoth he, the badness of our present condition right well I understand and how basely we are betrayed through the vile enchantments of Scoto the Necromancer; However I question not but to break all his charms, whereby we may be free from the fury of those cursed Pagans that seek nothing but our ruin. When the Paladine heard this, he bade him take his course. Then the Swinheard of Maxfield mounted himself on a Courser, and by his trusty Squire sent him this defiance, himself staying under a Tree to receive his answer.  
The Swinheard of Maxfield to Sir Lambert Knight of the Golden Tulep.  
Sir Lambert, I have heard ere now of thy valour, but know that I fear thee no more than the Lion feareth the timorous Hare; I am resolved therefore to meet thee at the head of all thy Troops, there to try the force of thy Sword, nor do thou disdain to accept the challenge of a Swinheard, who may chance to prove as good a Knight as thyself;  
When Sir Lambert read the challenge, he said no more to the Squire, but only bade him to take notice of the colour of his Horse, and of his Burgonet. Then the Squire road away, and Sir Lambert pressed forward toward the Dangerous Bridge, to encounter the Christians; Then ther● began a sharp conflict betwixt the Christians and the Panims, wherein for a while the Christians behaved themselves with great confidence and prowess. For the Swinheard beholding the Horse and Burgonet that his Squire had described unto him, with great courage spurred on his faithful steed, (which was a most remarkable one, for that it was a Horse that had but lately belonged to the Knight of th' enchanted Mill) and without giving him the least notice of what he intended, he struck him so terrible a blow upon the visor of his Helmet, that with the fury thereof, he made sparkles of fire to issue out in great abundance, and forced him to bow his head unto his breast; but Sir Lambert soon returned unto him his salutation, and struck the Swinheard such a desperate blow on the top of the Helmet, that the great noise thereof made a sound in all the mountains, and so began between them a most marvellous and fearful battle; for now Sir Lambert and the Swinheard, thought no other thing but how to overthrow each other, striking each at other such terrible blows, as many times it made either of them senseless, and both seeing the force of one another, were marveilously incensed with anger. At length the Sweetheart gave Sir Lambert such a terrible blow, that if it had hit right upon him, it would have cloven his head in pieces but with great discretion Sir Lambert cleared himself thereof, so that it was strucken in vain, so that with great lightness he retired and struck the Swinheard so furiously, that he fell quite astonished to the Earth, without any feeling, then might you soon perceive by the abundance of blood that issued out of his mouth, and through the visor of his Helmet that the Swinheard was now ready to breathe his last. Sir Lambert having thus overthrown the Swinheard, with great eagerness pursued the Christians, who being overpowered by the numbers of the Pagans, thought it safer to commit themselves to the protection of by-paths, and ways unknown to the enemy, rather than to yield to the cruelty of the merciless Pagans▪ When Sir Lambert had obtained this victory, he caused it to be spread far and near, making it ten times as great as indeed it was, and he wrote unto the courty Tyrants, to give them notice thereof, who thereupon honoured him as a God, and sent him presents of gold, and precious stones; but he cared not for the forty Tyrants, nor for their presents neither, but gave them unto his Soldiers, who admired him for his courtesy; for he thought that because he had overcome this small handful of the Christians, that he was now able to overcome all the World; However as then he held fair correspondence with the courty Tyrants, because he was at a far distance for them, and for that he could not do any thing farther, till he had consulted with Sir Van●, how far he might presume upon his new success.   

CHAP. XII. How Sir Lambert returned to the good City of London, and of the Feast which Sir Vane made him, and how they consulted to put down the forty Tyrants.  
AFter this battle sir Lambert returned with great joy and triumph to the good City ●f London, where he was expected with much earnestness by sir Vane the Giant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood the Contemptible Knight. When sir Vane heard that ●ir Lambert was returning, he was ●ight glad, and resolved forthwith to go and meet him, and conduct him to the City. Eftsoones therefore he called his dwarf to bring him his palfrey, and being mounted, he took on his journey. He was clad 〈◊〉 a flame coloured suit of Neapol●▪ an silk, which was partly emblematical, partly for instruction; emblemetical in regard it signified his zeal to what he undertook; and as to instruction, it showed us, that though the silk came from Naples, an abominable and sinful City, yet that a Man was never the worse for wearing it, so that he did 〈◊〉 upon an enigmatical score. His Hat was likewise of a strange fashion, for behind it hang down on his back with a long flappet to keep off the rain; but before it had no brim at all to show that a M●n ought to put away all things that hinde● him ●rom looking toward the heavens. O● his Shield was pictured fortune standing on a Rock with this inscription underneath, She is thus mine; In this mysterious garb he came into the Forest of Barnet, where when he saw sir Lambert, he alighted from his Palfrey, and sir Lambert did the like, and then they embraced one another most lo●ingly, quoth sir Vane, I am right glad Sir Lambert of this your safe and happy return▪ and for the great victory which you have won, whereby you are now esteemed one of the most worthy Champions of Europe, and right well I know that you have done your part, and that now it remains for me to do mine, therefore let us proceed on our journey, and if I do not play the Fox as well as you have played the Lion, let me be deprived of my Knighthood, which I hold the greatest honour which I have in the World. For you must know, that although sir Lambert were indeed as right cunning a Knave as Sir Vane, yet in council sir Vane would never give him the superiority, though at knocks he always let him go before him. Sir Lambert submitted with all gentleness unto the speech of sir Vane, and so they came together unto the good City of London; When they passed through the Town, the people of the City were all very sad, and in great perplexity, for they cared not at all for sir Lambert, nor for his success, but wished with all their hearts that he had been slain by the Swinheard o● Maxfield. But they on the other side who had no reason to be in such heavy plight, made great rejoicings among themselves, feasting and banqueting one another in most ample manner; but the banquet which sir Vane made exceeded all the rest, not so much for the riches, as for the strangeness thereof, for he made use not only of the meats and drinks of the Christians, but of those also of the Heathen, as Pillaw, and Sherbet, intimating thereby, that as he made use of all sorts of diet to sustain nature, so sir Lambert ought to make use of all sorts of interests to make himself great. When they had ended their feasting, sir Vane and sir Lambert retired into a private room, there to take council concerning their affairs. Sir Lambert disclosed then unto sir Vane all that was hidden in his breast, of his desire to make himself Sultan, and his intention to put down the Forty Tyrants; but withal he discovered his fear to attempt such an enterprise which would be so dangerous if not accomplished. But sir Vane, who out of his cowardly nature loved to keep himself out of all peril, but cared not upon what dangers he put others▪ replied, That sir Lambert had no cause at all to be timorous, for that the forty Tyrants were ill beloved of the people, and he will beloved of all the old Sultan's Host. That the Giant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood the Contemptible Knight, were sure to him. To which sir Lambert answered, That 'twas true that he thought he could with much ease put down the forty Tyrants, but what must we do then? cries he; To which sir Vane replied, Leave that to me, I have a Plot in my head; and the more to encourage sir Lambert, he repeated to him a certain Prophecy, the which ran in these words.  

The Prophecy.  
When the dead shall awake to join themselves with the living, then shall valour be at her height and beauty in the supremest point of her glory.  
This prophecy, know right well sir Lambert, so said sir Vane, can concern no Person living but thyself, as I shall show thee by the easy exposition thereof, which flows without any force from the words.  
When the dead shall come to join themselves with the living, that is, when we who in the time of the Sultan were dead as to the affairs of this World, shall come to join ourselves with the living, that is, with the Giant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood, who were in great authority while the Sultan was in being, then shall valour be at her height, that is then shall yourself who are right valorous be Sultan, and beauty be in the supremest point of her glory; as much as to say, your passing beauteous Lady shall be Sol●anesse.   
When sir Lambert heard this, he took up a new resolution, and resolved to venture what ere come of it. Then said sir Lambert to the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, Sir Vane thy wisdom is to be extolled, and thy words to be prized above fine Gold. Wherefore let us as 〈◊〉 as we gave smoked out our pipes go and talk with sir Fleetwood, and my cousin the Giant Desborough concerning it; for it they ● but join with us, I'll go presently about my work.   

CHAP. XIII. How do● Hizlerigo the Knight with the hot head, being one of the forty Tyrants, suspected the intention of sir Lambert, and how he would have had Scoto the egromancer have enchanted him, and put him into his Castle at Lambethe, and how he cuffed his Dwarf for playing at Span-Fa●thing.  
SIR Lambert being now full of hopes, and greatly swelled with the prophecy which Sir Vane had told him of, h● began now to be very active in the prosecution of his design; But when he saw that the two Giants Icleped, Creed and Berry were come to join with him, and that sir Lilburn the degraded Viceroy was also come in unto his party, he eftsoons resolved by the advice of sir Vane to make known some of his desires to the Forty Tyrants. When the forty Tyrants read them, they liked them not at all, but were highly provoked, especially Don Hazlerigo, the Knight ●ith the hot head, who being the most passionate Person in the World, fell into such a rage, that many of the forty Tyrants themselves, though they knew his kindness to them, did greatly tremble thereat Quoth he, how dares thy Princock thus presume; am not I the wisest, and the most valorous Knight that ever Oceana brought forth, how happeneth it then that the gods permit this contest between us? Hare they no Thunderbolts to lend me that I may nail this bo●d audacious Traitor to the Earth, Then turning to the forty Tyrants, am not I above ye all, quoth he, why do ye than not do what I command? Let there be a great Cauldron fetched and let this presumptuous Traitor be boiled therein, and where he is boy●d, he is boiled, and there will be an end of him Hereupon one of the forty Tyrants said that Don Hazlerigo had spoken like a right worthy Cavalier; and if all m●n were of his mind there wanted nothing but a Cauldron. ●on H●zlerigo rep●y'd, that he had one at whom wherein his damsels did boil foul clothes, and 〈◊〉 Livers for his meaner Servants, and thereupon he called his Dwarf to fetch it; but the Dwarf not answering to the call, Don Hazlerigo in great fury went forth to seek him. Oh the sad disastrous fate of the unfortunate Dwarf? For Don Hazlerigo no sooner sought for him, but he beheld him playing at Span-farthing in the Yard belonging to the Palace of Westmonasterium, Dare you there, quoth Don Hazlerigo in great despite, I'll be with you eftsoons. He was no sooner near him, but he reached the Dwarf such a cuff on the ear that you might have heard the blow cross the River of Thamesis unto the Temple of Saint Maryovers, crying out in great rage, fetch me the huge Cauldron, sirrah: the Dwarf who neither knew the meaning of his words nor of his blows, was in a great amaze, but at length recollecting himself quoth he, am not I as good a Squire as he that belonged unto the Baron of Stamfordia, yet he be at the famous Don Hazlerigo, why may not I? with that he laid his truncheon on the breast of Don Hazlerigo, with such a force that he was scarce able to keep himself from failing backward. Don Hazlerigo having thus missed of the Cauldron. returns again with as much haste as he could (for the Dwarf hard pursued him) unto the forty Tyrants. with whom he saw it was much safer to contend then with his Dwarf. He summed, and they stared he ●oamed, and they were astonished he could not speak for anger, neither durst they speak to him seeing him so angry, Yet they could not choose but ask him where the Cauldron was, to which after much stamping and staring, he replied that he had found out another sort of punishment which he esteemed far better. Then turning himself to Scoto the Necromancer, he thus reviled him. Where are all thy charms nocturnal Scoto, have all thy spirits for sake● thee, hast thou now no power over the great Belzebub, who is also Icleped Lucifer, to what end hast thou thy enchanted Castle at Lambetho, if thou makest no use thereof; awake great Scoto from thy dreaming trance, and raise a troop of infernal fiends to shelter thee from the ruin that will else befall thee; When Scoto heard Don Hazlerigo say thus, quoth he, Right valiant Knight, if thou w●●t bring sir Lambert unto me, that my charms may lay hold of him, I will put him in my Castle of Lambetho, from whence it shall be in the power of no Knight to free him, but at present I cannot prevail, for that the spirits which belong to Sir Vane the Sorcerer, are as strong to defend him, as mine are to do him annoyance, Yet is there one way left, and that is for thee to take with thee some three or four other Knights like thyself, then must you be sure to lay hold on him at such a time when he hath nothing on him but his shirt, for than he shall not be able to resist the charms which are laid upon him, so that we shall have our wills of him to do what we please with him. When Don Hazlerigo heard this, he vanished immediately from the forty Tyrants, telling them what strange exploits he would do ere he came back.   

CHAP. IX. How sir Lambert put down the Forty Tyrants, and how he and the Baron of Sussex jested together.  
When sir Lambert heard of the intention of Don Hazlerigo, and the rest of the forty Tyrants, and of their cruel plot which was to have him sodden to death, he waxed sore in wrath, and caused the muster rolls to be numbered of those that were resolved to stand by him, and when he saw himself strong enough to deal with the fo●●y Ty●ants, he went into the Chamber of Council, where he found Sir Vane, the Giant Desborough, Sir Berry the Knight of the Coal-pit, the Giant Creed, the Contemptible Knight, and the Giant Husonius called also Polyphem, to whom he spoke in these words,  

Right worthy Champions▪  
YE know right well that I am not apt to seek that by force which I could obtain by fair means. How I am injured by the forty Tyrant's you understand, neither am I ignorant how ye are all affronted for my sake, should I therefore now forsake you, I should be a greater Traitor to you my friends then to myself; but since it is so, I vow never to sleep in bed of down, nor to unbuckle my Shield from my weary arms till I have q●●lled your foes, and given you full power over your enemies.   
These heroical speeches were no sooner finished, but the Champions arming themselves with approved Corselets, and taking unto them their trusty swords, told him how ready they were to follow him in any undertaking.  
Now had Aurora chased away the all to be spangled darkness, when lo sir Lambert, intending to do by the forty Tyrants as Aurora had done before by the black browed Night, assembles his forces together, and pitches his tent close by the palace of the forty Tyrants. But they having no●ice of his coming, mustered their powers also together, and sent them against Sir Lambert under the command of a right valiant Knight called the Baron of Sussex, and now they stood opposite each to other within the reach of the dismal Gun; It was thought that these engines would have by and by breathed out their fury in flames of fire, and have sent their leaden Messengers to sear up the veins of mortals, and damn up the passages of life, but Sir Lambert, who was as valiant as he was cunning, and as cunning as he was valiant, and so either both valiant and cunning, or else neither cunning nor valiant was loath to fight, for he feared the party which was for the lawful King of Britain, lest they while he was combating against the forty Tyrants, should come and take the power from them both: wherefore he would not engage but sought all other means to suppress the forty Tyrants that he could. Now as he was riding about, he met the chief of the forty Tyrants, who was the Knight of the gilt Mace, whom they had made General of the Forces of Sir Lambert, coming to the assistance of the forty Tyrants, and all the way he came he cried to the Soldiers of sir Lambert, that they should desert Sir Lambert, and yield obedience to him who was their chieftain. But Sir Lambert, unwilling that the Soldiers should hear with that ●are, lights off his Horse, takes up a great brickbat, and fling ● it full at the head of the Knight of the Gilt Mace, and but for the mercy of a kind fate, had dashed out Sir Lenthal's brains, and then taking the Horses by their bridles, he thrust them, the chariot, and all that were in it quite out of the City of Westmonasterium, as you would thrus● a rolling stone before ye through a Bowling green Nor were the Soldiers idle all this while, for what volleys they could not discharge out of their Guns they discharged out of their mouths, calling one another Dogs, Rogues, and Sons of Whores▪ and that their hands might be 〈◊〉 likewise, they throw at one another▪ Hand granadoes, the which according to a new invention among Soldiers, were made of the tops of Turnips bound together with a with; While the two ●●e●ce Armies, stood looking so grimly each on the other. Scoto the Necromancer was gotten privately into a high Tower built on the top of the west end of the Temple of Westmonasterium, that when the combat did begin he might assist the forces of the Baron of Sussex by his magic spells.  
Now quoth he is the battle surely begun, for me thinks I hear the Baron of Sussex cry for help, now is the time that my charming spells must work Sir Lambert's overthrow; which being said, thrice he kissed the flower of the said Tower, and thrice besprinkled the Circle with his own blood, which with a silver razor he let out from his left arm and after that he began to speak in this manner. Stand still ye wand'ring Lamps of heaven, move not sweet stars till Scoto's charms be brought to full effect. O thou great Daemon, Prince of the damned Ghosts, thou chief Commander of those ghastly shapes that rightly glide by misbelieving Travellers, even thou that holdest a s●aky Sceptre in thy hand sitting upon a Throne of burning steel, even thou whose eyes are like Saucers, and who tossest burning fire brands abroad like Tennis balls, I charge thee to open thy brazen gates, and send forth thy Legions of infernal fiends, for that of them I now do stand in great need. Belzebub being so severely charged took the pains not only to ascend to the Earth, but to go up also to the top of the Tower, to receive the commands of Scoto the Necromancer, who longed for the encounter that he might set him on work; But the Devil having stayed till night, and seeing nothing for him to do, was so sorely enraged against Scoto, that he took him by the Legs, intending to have thrown him from the top of the Tower, but afterwards be thinking with himself that he should lose a good Servant, and that he should spoil the story, for that it was never heard in any Romance that any Necromancer was over punished till some Knight had ended his enchantments, he ●et Scoto on his legs, and in great ●ury flung down to hell again. For to tell ye the truth there was no combat of note all that day, excepting between the Baron of Sussex and sir Lambert; for sir Lambert knowing that he was well beloved by the Soldiers belonging to the Baron of Sussex, was resolved to go and speak to them, thinking by fair speeches to win them to his side; when the Baron saw him, he was likewise resolved to hinder him, whereupon they prepared to the career, but they only broke their Lances in the first encounter; whereupon the Baron drew his sword, but sir Lambert entreated him to just once more; most willingly replied the Baron, then meeting together, Sir Lambert's Horse was almost down, for the Horse that he road on all that day was none of the best, and the Baron likewise lost his stirrups▪ being glad to catch hold by the main of his Horse; Sir Lambert having more mind to be chief Sultan, then to be baste inadoed, seeing the Baron maintain the fight so equally against him took his leave, telling the Baron he should take another time to be quit with him. But the forty Tyrants seeing no hope of relief, and that they were unequal in power to sir Lambert, were content to submit unto him which they did accordingly, giving him possession of the Palace and of all that was therein, causing the Baron of Sussex to draw off his forces; which done, Sir Lambert went home with much glee and content, supped quietly and lay with his saltanesse in most pleasant-wise.   

CHAP. XV. How Sir Lambert and Sir Vane being Pagans, went about to set up the worship of their Heathen Idols; and how they intended to have altered the Laws and Government of Britain.  
WHen sir Lambert had thus by his power put down the forty Tyrants, sir Vane & he doubted not now to carry all before them; therefore they fell into consideration how they might secure to themselves the chief power which they had got into their own hands as well as they could: Sir Vane was of an opinion, that seeing it was their intent to erect a new Empire, they ought to change the Religion of the Country, and to make a new one as near the humour as they could of these people whom they saw adhering to them upon the hopes of such an alteration, and already inclined to such a change as might well agree with their interest. First and foremost there fore, knowing that they must take asunder what was already established, before they could put their own together, they resolved to abolish wholly the Religion of the Christians, for that it was so opposite to what they intended, that it was impossible for them to let the least title thereof remain: And because it is no hard matter to beware by other men's harms, seeing that the too much pretending to knowledge among the vulgar Christians) It being dangerous for any person to have more knowledge than he is able to manage) had been the cause of their confusion; they resolved to reform that error, and to take from the people all means of diving into hidden things, to which end they had ordered that all Schools of learning should be taken away; and so far they were from having any teachers among the people, that they ordered it should be death for any one to teach his children the primer, Yet because they knew that the awe of a deity was very necessary, though never so airy and national, Sir Lambert being now chief Sultan caused Proclamation to be made whereby the God of the Christians was deposed and eight other deities erected in his room; Four of these deities were of the feminine gender and four of the neuter; Of the female deities two were Latin Destinia, and Ig●ora●tia. One Italian, La Potta del Papa Giovanna; and the fourth French, foutre du diable; Of the male deities one was Latin, Summum Imperium. One Spanish, Puerco del Paradiso; The third Italian, Cazzo nel culo; and the last of Scotch extraction called the Piper of ●ilbarchen; and he further proclaimed that his subjects should attribute divine worship unto these, and that these only should be adored as the only and most supreme God's powers over the Earth, as to future expectations Sir Vane took it all from Mahomet, changing little or nothing; Having thus settled religion, they proceed to alter the civil government. Sir Lambert said that he did not like the laws, and therefore would have new ones; but sir Vane sade it was altogether unnecessary as yet to have any at all, for that necessity would compel their party to be yet a while unanimous and loving one to another, and if the Christians had any laws to fly to, it would hinder their party for dstroying those their enemies, which was to be done no other way but by giving their party leave to practise all manner of tyrannies and violences over them.  
Yet one law sir Vane liked well that it should be made, which was a law against the importing of Barrel-Figgs, lest thereby the Christians should learn Unity, seeing things of the same nature stick so close together. Then in imitation of Joshua who drove out the Canaanites sheer out of the Land to give his people a full possession thereof, they intended to have destroyed all the old inhabitants of Britain, both Nobles, Gentry and Yeomen, by making their own party Lords over them, who were all of a new race, as being the Sons of the Earth, and such therefore whom no ties of consanguinity had interest to make them in the least wise merciful; When these things were divulged among the Christians, there was a famous divine among them that went to Sir Vane to reason the case with him, Quoth he unto him, it is a very dangerous thing to alter the religion, and take away the Laws of a Nation; Sir Vane replies, that as to the alteration of religion, it was a thing which they thought convenient, and therefore since they had the power in their hands, they were resolved to do it; and as for taking away the Laws, he thought 'twas very well done also; for that was the difference between théeves and honest men, Théeves indeed were necessitated to make Laws among themselves, and to observe them; but honest Men, said he▪ such as we and our party, have no need thereof; for that we are no théeves, but robbers; and if we do possess other men's goods, it is because we have right thereunto, being born to inherit the Earth; Alas quoth Sir Vane, Laws are the guides of the soul, and therefore those who would be counted most free, aught to live without 'em; for if it be a mark of slavery to have the legs or hands bound, certes it is a sign of far greater subjection to suffer the mind to be in fetters. When the ancient Seer heard these arguments he was convinced, not by the strength of Sir Vane's reason, but because he saw it was in vain to contend with an unreasonable strength; & therefore with great sorrow for the affliction which he saw was like to fall upon the Christians, he took his leave of the Knight of the mysterious Allegories, and departed.   

CHAP. XVI. How the Christians rebelled against Sir Lambert, and how he marched against them into the North, and what happened thereupon.  
THe Christians were now in a sad condition, for that the Heathens having vowed their destruction went about to put in practise all these designs which they could think on for the effecting of their purpose. But they had one Champion yet alive, who was height sir George, who was the most worthy Champion that ever the Britons had Who seeing the destruction that was like to fall upon the Christians, resolved to oppose himself in their defence; whereupon sir Lambert sent defiance unto the Loyal Knight, telling him that he would shortly meet him in the Plains of Northimbira. But before he went, he consulted with the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, how he might secure unto him the Metropolis of Britain, wh●ch he was now going to leave behind him, and what persons he might entrust for to manage his great affairs in his absence, Whereupon they agreed to constitute several Seers of the Square Table, which being assembled together, should have the name of a Council of Safety. Now that they might not cross the proverb as they were to have new Laws, so they resolved to make new Lords. And indeed sir Vane, who was altogether for Allegories, told sir Lambert, that there were no Men fitter than those from whose trade or occupation; he might draw some allusion that he might teach him still what to do; Therefore he advised him to choose one Grocer, that it might mind him of braying his Enemies in the Mortar of affliction▪ & grinding them as small as Pepper. He bid him take one Drawer of Cloth, such was the Seer Brandritho▪ to show that there ought not to be any differences among factions of the same Stamp: He bid him take one that was employed in the Coalpits such was Sir Berry the Knight of the Coalpit, to show that a Politician ought always to be undermining. One Scotchman, such was the Seer Wareston, to show the Treachery and Falsehood that Politicians ought to use. One Ploughman, such wa● the Byant Desborough, to show the care that a Politician ought to have, and how he ought to observe times and seasons. And one Cobbler intimating thereby that a Politician ought to look after no man's ends but his own When Sir Lambert had made choice of his Council he spoke unto them in these Words.  

Right Worthy Patriots.  
I Have here made choice of ye▪ that ye may assist me in the carrying on my great work, I must leave ye for a time, for that I am going to meet the Loyal Knight in the Plains of Northimbria, who hath bid me defiance, wot ye well that ye have to deal with a proud and insolent City; if therefore they will not be ruled, smoke 'em to death in their own Hives, as they do Bees. He was famous that burned the Temple of Diana, and Nero was famous that burned Rome; then be ye famous also, and burn London. I shall say no more, because I repose a confidence in ye, not doubting but that ye will stick close unto me if not for my sake, yet for your own ends, which by no means but mine ye can ever be able to attain.   
When he had uttered these sayings, they all stood up and cried long live the Sultan of Britain.   

CHAP. XVII. How the Seer Wareston lay with a Lady of pleasure that came to him with a Petition upon the Council Table, and what happened thereupon.  
LEave we now Sir Lambert a while, and let us rehearse what happened at the Council of Safety, of which the Seer Wareston was Chief Precedent, who was a right notable Knave and exceeding salacious, as you shall understand by that which follows. There was a Lady at that time, who had certain sad occasions co visit the Council of Safety for the redress of certain grievances, but could never find a fit opportunity to deliver her supplication; but at length finding that the Seer Wareston was all alone in the Council Chamber▪ she prevailed with money of the Door keeper to let her in. When she came in, she appeared right comely unto the Seer, and related her Story unto him with such a grace, that he was straightway enamoured of her; Quoth he, well do you deserve fair Lady to have your Petition granted, but should I grant you your Petition, would you grant me mine? Alas! said the Lady, it is not for you to petition, who have so much power in your hands. Ah! replied the Seer, you have wounded me; and I hope you will cure the wound which you have made, and saying these words, he pulled her by the Gown upon his knee as he sat in his great Chair, and would have kissed her. The Lady not ignorant, how much coins inflamed, made great resistance; but the more she resisted, the more was he on fire; so that there was exceeding great contention, and strungling between them; at length the lustful Seer being the stronger, had thrown her upon the Council Table, and there laid her flat on her back, where at length she gave him leave to quench his desires with the spoils of her seeming Chastity, on condition that he would grant her Request. He had not sooner finished, but in came Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, and some others, who seeming the Seer in a strange posture, with his Band rumpled, his Cap off, the Sleeve of his Gown torn, and his Face more redder than ordinary, desired to know of him what had happened unto him. The Seer not at all abashed told them the whole Story: Who entered thereupon into great consultations among themselves. Some were of an opinion, that since the Seer Wareston Genealogy was likely to increase, that the Sold'an should allow him a larger stipened, One stood up and said that it was requisite, that the Contemptible Knight, and the Knight of the Allegories should be sent to the Temple of the Gods, La potta del Papa Giovanna, to inquire of the Oracle, whither it were a Boy or a Girl, that provision for the birth and education might be made accordingly. Others were of opinion that 'twas convenient to know what his Name should be; This debate took up above a week's time, with continual pros and con's, and at length they concluded that it were a Boy he should be called by the Name of young FINBRANDUS, and that he should be sent to the enchanted Castle NEWGATE, to be bred up in all the secrets of that place by the several Giants yhat frequented the Castle. But if it were a Girl that she should be delivered to witch Creswellia to be taught all kind of sorceries and enchantments; and so the Council was dismissed for that time.   

CHAP. XVIII. How Sir Lambert marched against the Loyal Knight as far as the Forest of Northimbria; and how the Council of Safety sent the Giant Husonius to kill the Christians for playing at Football.  
SIR Lambert was now gone towards the Forrow of Northimbria to encounter the Loyal Knight, leaving behind him Sir Vane the Contemptible Knight. Now you must know that before Sir Lambert departed out of the good City of London there came unto him the Seer Feko High Priest in the Temple of the Idol, icleped Foutre le Diable, and the Seer Rogero High Priest of the Idol Cuzzo nel Culo and Declared unto him, how they had that night seen a Uision, and having told what they had seen each unto the other, that they had both Dreamt the same Dream; Me thought quoth the Seer Feko, that I was in a great field, where I saw sir Lambert's Horse feeding among a multitude of other Horses, when on a sudden sir Lambert's horse elevating his rump set an exceeding great Fart, so that this Noise thereof caused the Ualleys to sound and the Hills to echo, and with the strength thereof blew away all the laid Horses, so that when I looked about again, I could not see one Horse left. Now while I was musing upon the strangeness of the accident, there came a young man to me clothed in Blue, who bid me declare what I had seen unto Sir Lambert, for that as his Horse had Farted away all the other horses, so should he scatter all his enemies. When sir Lambert heard this, he caused his Butler to be sent for, and commauded him to carry the two high Priests into the Buttery, and set the Bread and Cheese before them and to give them as much Ale as they would drink; which assoon as he had faid he golloped away as fast as he could to encounter the Loyal Knight. Now after that he had been gone a good while, it happened one morning that the weather being cold, the young men of the City of London went to play at Football in the streets; Which being related in to the Council of Safety, they were sore afraid, fearing lest the Christians having such a pretence to assemble together might rise against them; wherefore they sent command immediately to the Giant Husonius to go into the City, for fear of the worst. Now such was the hast he was in, that because he could not readily find his own Arins he was forced to put on his head, a great iron porridge pot which was next at hand; instead of his shield he took the potlid, and in lieu of his Mace, he pulled up one of the great Elms in the Forest of St. James; and thus accoutred, away he goes, taking a great Band of soldiers along with him. The Christians hearing of his coming, shut the Gates of the City, thinking to keep him out; but the Giant pushed them open, with as much ease, as if they had been made of Pasteboard; and finding his own Shield defective, he made use of one of the Gates for his Buckler all that day. Yet notwithstanding his coming, the Christians continued playing at Football, not dreaming that their sport had been offensive. But so it fell out, that one of the Christians striking the Ball right strenuous, by which his foot kicked the Ball full in the Giant's Face, so that his Eye was in greatdanger. The Giant who had but one Eye, and being jealous that the Christians intended to put out that too, was sorely enraged; wherefore in great fury he laid about him with his huge Elm among the multitude, killing six of the Christians at one blow; which the Christians beholding they incontinently fled away: That, when the Giant Husonius saw, he thought it good time to satisfy his hunger, as well as his revenge. Thereupon he straightway went and took up one of the dead Christians, and so sitting down upon the ridge of a house in a moment, devoured him raw without either bread or salt; and having finished his bloody Meal, Now, quoth he, have I dined as well as ever I did in my life had I but half a Child to close my stomach. The Young men seeing this, would have all together fallen upon the Giant, so little they cared either for his arms, or the vastness of his proportion; but the chief Governor fearing the danger of popular Tumults, chose rather to put up in silence the injuries of the Giant, then hazard the safety of the City, when there seemed other probable means of securing it: wherefore the Giant seeing at length none to oppose him, returned with great triumph to the place from whence he came, and was receiv●d with much gladness by the Council of Safety, only they rebuked him that he did not bring the rest of those Christians along with him which he had killed, that he might have had them for his supper.   

CHAP. XIX. How the Forty Tyrants were set up again, and how Don Hazlerigo caused several Children to be whipped to death for calling him RUMPER.  
SIr Lambert being now at a great distance from the City of Londinum. The forty Tyrants conspired together, and in a short time they so managed their business, that they vanquished the Council of Safety, and all that adhered unto sir Lambert; For Don Hazlerigo having got some few armed Troops together, came to Londinum with so much haste and Fury, that both the Giants, Desborow and Husonius, were much appeled; and besides that he had joined himself with the Knight of hhe Green Ocean. When the forty Tyrants heard that Don Hazlerigo was coming to town, they went forth to meet him, every one clad with a Gown of Tyrean Purple, embroidered with Gold; for they never cared what they spent so it were of the public money & before each person went 20 squires bare, with Cognisances on their sleeves, every one carrying in his hand the Arms and Pedigrée of his lord Don Hazlerigo was on a Hill; when he saw 'em coming towards him with their Hats on about a mile off; wherefore immediately he sent away one of bis Squires, to know of them how they durst be so bold as to keep their hats on before him while he was in sight; whether they knew who he was? and whether that were their grateful acknowledgement of the Favours which they were then about to receive from him? whereupon with many humble expressions of sorrow for their offence they presently unv●ild; when they approached near, he gave them the farthest end of the Lash of his whip to Kiss, having rebuked them first for their sauciness. As he returned he road hindmost in a silver Coach, gilded with gold, besides which ran 200 Pages and Footmen attired in blue U●lvet, The Trumpets that went before him sounding his praises were like the sands on the sea for number making such a dreadful noise, that many report that they saw the Graves in many Churchyards to open, and men start up in their shirts to ask what the matter was. Coming into the Chamber of Council, they placed him under a Canopy of State; when on a sudden rising up with a Look as Furious as Tamerlaines. What rage quoth he, did possess that vain Fool Sir Lam●ert, to lift himself up against me, who am in worth as much above him as the Heaven is above the Earth: proud vaunting pie●e of insolence, shortly shall he too late repent, when he shall receive the same punishment from my hands, as the Haughty Almidor King of Morocco did from the hand of St. George. Behold ye are now once more estoblished by my power; therefore let us to Work, and handle this insolent Nation without Mittens; Above all things beware of consideration, knowing that delays are dangerous. If we must burn, let us burn; if kill, kill, 'tis no matter whom what or when: we lose our Authority while we enter into such consultations: consulting shows fear, and fear was never the mark of ebsolute Dominion: The Devil, their Fire and his Dam go with all Consultalions, and Deliberations, and sage Thoughts; but be ruled by me and I warrant you all things will go well: When he had spoken these words▪ he departed home to his spouse: now not long after, it happened that he was going in great state to the House, certain little children playing together cried one to another, There goes one of the Rump, which was a term of Ignominy that the people of Britain had thrown upon the Forty Tyrants; which when it came to the ear of Don Hazlerigo, he caused the said children to be sent for; when they came before him, with a stern countenance, he commanded that they should be forthwith taken away and whipped to Death with whips of Knotted whipcord: And when one said unto him that it was too c●●el a Sentence, he replied that it was too merciful? for that they might thank him that he did not cause them to be offered up to the Idol Molock in the Ualleys of the Chimeron; and with that he slung away in a great rage in order to his other Affairs.   

CHAP. XX. How Sir Lambert submitted, and how the Giants, Desborow, Cobbet, Creed, and Hewson, seeing themselves disappointed of their Designs, went to fight against Heaven.  
WHen Sir Lambert saw that he could not get unto the Loyal Knight, who seeing himself far unequal to sir Lambert in number, kept himself in his strong Holds; he thought upon a way how to keep the Loyal Knight from coming to him: he saw his soldiers wanted work, and therefore to keep them from mutining, and being idle, which two inconveniences commonly go together, like a Citizen and his wife, He gave them a command that they should build up a Wall in the Land of Northumbria, the which in breadth should reach from sea to sea, and in height up unto the clouds, and which should be so thick that fifty Coaches might go a breast; and to secure it from the thunder-thumping-bullets of the dismall-noise-making Canon, he sent for the Seer Feko to enchant it. Now where Travellers were to pass to and fro, he ordered that there should be a great Gate made of Massy Brass, which should be bolted with Bolts as big about as an ordinary Steeple, the Shooter of the Lock was to be as broad as an Acre of Ground; Then said the Artificer unto Sir Lambert, Who shall turn the Key? and Sir Lambert replied▪ Let there be a Mill to turn it. Now as Sir Lambert was contriving about this wall▪ Sir Vane hearing of his design, sent him a Letter; the substance whereof was, that he had heard of the Wall which he was going to build; and therefore he advised him, because Love would break through stone walls to make it of Brick: in answer to which Sir Lambert sent him another, wherein he assured him that the Wall should be of Brick accordingly, and that if he would not believe him, he might come down and see. Sir Lambert had a double Design in making this wall; First, because that being he was not ignorant that his soldiers must dig very deep to lay the foundations of such a wall, he knew nothing to the contrary but that they might find some Mine or other whereby to enrich both themselves and him, but his main drift was to keep the Loyal Knight from coming into Britain: moreover this wall was to be guarded by never-sléeping Dragons, which were to be sent for from Lydia, as also by Mastiff Dogs, which were to be kept hungry for that purpose. You'll say now he was in a fair way: but woe unto a man when ill luck follows him. Now said the Knight of the golden Tulip unto himself, shall I have such a wall, as there will not be in the world such another, nor was there ever such a one before? Traveller's shall come to see this wall of mine, from all parts of the Earth, and shall bring money in their pockets and shall enrich my Land; then will I plant Apricocks and Peaches against this wall, and when they are ripe I will say unto my wife, lo, the fruits of my Wall. While he was thus solacing himself under his wall, came unto him the sad news how that the Forty Tyrants were got into power again, and that Don Hazlerigo with an Army had forced all his one and twenty S●ers to run away, swearing that he would not only boil Sir Lambert now, but make Porridge also of his Flesh▪ he fell straightway into a swoon, continuing so for eight and forty hours; when his friends saw that, they sent for Physicians, who were in a great amaze; but at length they agreed that he should be laid under a Pump, the well being first cleansed and filled with Aniséed-water; which was done accordingly, and so they laid him under the spout and pumped strong-water into his mouth for ten days together: at the end whereof, through the heat of the water he began ot revive, and elevating his drowsy head, Oh! quoth the Knight of the golden Tulip, groaning like a soul in Purgatory, Accursed be the Loyal Knight; for my Cakes dow, and all by his means. But the Giant Desborow cursed the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, being very free of his Malediction, because that by his means they had put down the Forty Tyrants, saying that he was the arrantest Knave that ever pissed with a Prick. Sir Lambert now considering the sadness of his condition, was in a bushel of troubles, so that he knew not what in the world to do. Should I go to the Town of London, quoth he, what should I do there? walk about the streets with my hands in my pocket like a Dutch Sailor? That befits not him that once road about the streets of Westmonasterium, like a Country Haggler, causing his enemies to creep into Crevices. That becomes not him who once vanquished the Baron of Cheshire, and laid the Swineherd of Maxfield sprawling on the ground. But 'tis a folly to talk, I must either go or stay; well I'll go: But God knows my heart 'tis even as a Bear goes to the stake▪ and I know I shall be baited like a Bear too: and what then? why a Bear's a Bear, and a Knights a Knight: Nay, and a Knights a Bear too; for by the same Consequence that I a Knight am made an Ass, shall I a Knight be likewise made a Bear; But let 'em take heed of their Bears, that is let 'em look to themselves; for if ever I get 'em in my paws again, I'll gripe 'em a little faster than I did before. When sir Lambert had spoken these words, he threw his clock over his shoulders, and in very melancholy-wise spurred his Steed forward. The Forty Tyrants hearing that he was come unto the good Town of London, they sent for him to have him in Examination; But when he came before them, Don Hazlerigo looked upon him with a very grim aspect, Sirrah, quoth he, Sir Knight what made thy overventurous, foolhardy, memirrot presumption dare to advance itself against oxcombly ehur of Knighthood? Didst thou not know that I was choleric; how then daredst thou to provoke me? Sir Lambert, then pleaded for himself, saying, That he had not done what he did but that he thought 'twas for the good of the Nation. Thou liest like a Rogue, replies Don Hazlerigo; and having said those words commanded him to be taken away forthwith, and to be thrown into the Cauldron of boiling Lead, which was prepared in a place not far off: and they say he had certainly been boiled to death had not the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories interceded for him; though indeed he did not prevail so much upon him, but rather prevailed upon the intentions of some of the forty Tyrants, who liking not the proceedings of the loyal Knight, resolved to make use of him again, in case any such quarrel should happen as they suspected.  
When the Giant Cobbetto, the Giant Credo, the Giant Hackero, the Giant Husonio, and the Giant Rodesbo heard of the ill success of sir Lambert, they grew very mutinous against the Gods of their Religion; they wondered that their Gods would use them so discourteously, that it was neither a friendly part nor the part of Gentlemen to deal with their Idolaters in that fashion: they taxed them with the want of morality, and common civility; and at length one thing aggravating another they resolved to make them know themselves and if they would not do that, to pull them out of Heaven by the head and ears. But how shall we come at them? quoth one; well enough cries another; are there not mountains enough in the world? let us never leave setting one upon another till we reach them.  
Hereupon Credo and Cobeto, were sent to bring away Arthur's Seat, and the rest of the Mountains in Scotland, Husonio was sent to fetch Atlas out of Africa, and Hackero was sent to fetch the Mountains of Caucasus. Then did the Giants Husonio and Hackero, prepare them wonderful Stilts wherewith to wade through the deep Ocean: Now because that the length of them was such and so vast, they took the largest steps that ever were known one Stilt being always ten Mile before the other, which may seem incredible, but that we do not find it set down in the Apochrypha.  
The Giant Credo seeing them preparing them such Stilts he presently made himself such too; for, qu●th he, surely they must be excellent for dispatch, which he found to be true; for by the help of these Stilts he went to the furthest parts of old Scotia, and back again in less than a quarter of an hour bringing a huge and mighty Hill upon his head with more ease than a Turk carries his Turban: now because the Hill covered him all over, so that he could not be perceived, some say that the Hill walked and it was taken for a great Miracle throughout all Albion. When he came to the place appointed, he took the said mountain off his head, as one would take off his Cap and with one hand set it upon the top of Plimlemmon; he had no sooner done it, but the Caverns of his belly roared, and immediately sent forth such a mighty tempest as blow the said Mountain quite away some 15 Miles into the Ocean, as you would blow away a Feather with a Smith's pair of Bellows, and so was all that labour loft. Scarcely had this misfortune befallen them, when the Giants Husonio and Hackero returned the ore from Tenariff, the other from Africa, They related strange things; how that as they were taking up the Mountains on their backs, the Knights of those Countries came upon them so that they were forced to fight with all Comers and Goers for six days and nights together: Husonio said that he had slain three Millions of Knights, and Hackero reported how he had killed five Millions & ten Knights, besides two dwarves; but at length hearing that Atlas was coming to defend his own mountain being very weary, they retired forthwith; for they were loath to venture rubbers with a Giant of such Fame as he was. However they brought with them four of five smaller Hills which were not above two or three Miles high a piece, which they had put in their pockets for fear of being discovered. But as they were going to place these one upon another according to their first resolutions, lo▪ another accident that spoilt all; For early in the morning, behold there came five Milkmaids forth to milk the Kin● that were grazing in the adjoining pasturel; when the Giants saw them all, in white with Milk-pails on their heads they admired at the strangeness of their Headgear; For were they Mortals, quoth they, they would not approach as they do, but seeing us would certainly be affrighted at our shapes: Hereupon the Giant Credo went down to meet them, and when he came near, he said unto them, with a stern countenance, Are ye spirits of the North, or o' the South, or are ye spirits of the lower Regions, or spirits of the Spheres? If ye be such, Think you that we who are now going to revenge ourselves upon the Gods, will let you escape who are but their Ministers? with that he gave one of the Milkmaids such a blow on her Pail as made her Pail and her Head come almost to the ground together; which when the rest espied, they threw down their Milk-pails with great indignation, and fell upon the Giant with such a fury, that he not being able to resist their strong Violence, was forced to yield, while they dragged him to the ground by the h●ir of the head: being in this plight he began to call & cry; but 'twas well if the rest of the Giants had enough of courage to see him; for they durst not stir one inch to his assistance. Villain that thou art, Quoth one of the Amazon Virgins, I'll teach thee to hurt jane, & with that she gave him a claw that ploughed up his Face from ear to ear. Nay, quoth another, for the honour of Saint George let's cross him; and so she made a furrow from his Chin to his Forehead; One would have cut off his Gingumbobs, but that fear made him swell so strong, that they were forced to quit him. Which blessed time being come, with a countenance full of the effects of a sad conquest, he went to his fellow-Gyants, who partly affrighted at the direful mortifications of his Visage, partly seeing the Milk-wenches advance, and considering that they should never be able to conquer the Gods, who were beaten only by two or three sprights, as to them the Milk-wenches seemed to be, they took up their Héels', and with no small diligence, ran away, leaving their intended Design to any body else that durst undertake it.   

CHAP. XXI. How the Loyal Knight entered Londinum, and what happened thereupon.  
NOt long ago we left the Loyal Knight in the Country of Scotia, devising with his Company concerning the welfare of the Country of Britain. He at length seeing the Forces of Sir Lambert dissipated by the power of the forty Tyrants rode toward the City of Londinum, meeting many Knights by the way that followed the King, whom he still directed in their course, who made to him report of the dealings of the forty Tyrants at Londinum: When he entered into the City of Londinum, he caused Don Lamberto to be cast into prison; but long had he not been there but he made his escape, thinking to have gathered his Forces together again, and to have encountered the Loyal Knight; but being hardly pursued he was again retaken, and again committed to the care of the Knight of the Lions. Which the forty Tyrants saw that they could make no disturbance against the Loyal Knight, neither of themselves nor by any other means, they came to the Loyal Knight, saying unto him, We thought till now, my Lord that ye were one of the best advised Knights of the whole world but that we now by proof perceive the contrary. You think that what ye do is for safety of your Honour, but you will find it to be the loss of you and your men. But the Loyal Knight replying, Full well, quoth he, do you manifest your horrible Treason; for besides your Treachery in compacting the Death of your Lord, you would have me also a Traitor to his Posterity, as ye have proved. Then said the forty Tyrants, to hinder us from ruling in London? To which the Loyal Knight making answer, Never, quoth he, shall Traitor reign in London while the most Honourable King of the World liveth. When this debate was ended, He summoned the King's Friends together, and gave them the chief power over Britain, which was no sooner restored u●to them, but they sent for the true and lawful King of Britain, who not long after was received into his chief City of Londinum with great joy and Triumph: And so concludeth the First Part of this History.   
FINIS.   

READER,  
EPistles like Prologues of plays are many times skipped over, seldom read: and to say the truth I know not that they are of any great use: and therefore that I may not sin against your patience, and my own opinion I shall say no more for what is here writ, but only thus much, that the Ladies may read here what they never read in their lives: for whereas all other Knights fought for their sakes, our Knights fought for Nobody's sakes but their own▪ as you shall find by the sequel, And so farewell.   

Books Printed and Sold by H. Marsh, at the Prince's Arms in Chancery-lane, near Fleetstreet.  

Folio  
THe Sovereign's Prerogative and the Subjects Privilege, comprised in several Speeches, Cases, and Arguments of Law, discussed between the King's most sacred Majesty, and the most eminent Persons of both Houses of Parliament: Collected by T. Fuller, B.D.  
leonard's Reports—  
A Complete History of the Wars of the Greeks; written by the learned Polybius, and Translated by Ed. Grimston, Esq. Sergeant at Arms to his late Majesty.   

Quarto.  
The History of Independency complete, being the 1.2. 3.4 and last part; which may be had single by such as hath bought the others.  
A Comical History of these late Times: by Montelion.  
Richard Hanam's Exploits.  
The Faithful Lapidary, being a History of all precious Stones, very useful for Gentlemen, Merchants and others.  
Blood washed away by the Tears of Repentance, or the Relation of Butler's murdering of Knight in Milk-street.  
Rumps Lookingglass, or a Collection of such pieces of Dro lery as was prepared by several Wits to purge the Rump.  
A New Discovery of the Highway Thiefs; by a Gentleman lately Converted.  
A short View of the Life and Actions of the Illustrious james Duke of York, together with his Character.   

In large Octavo.  
Royal History completed in the life of his sacred Majesty Charles the 2d, james Duke of York, and Henry D. of Gloucester, with their Restoration, happily concluded by his Excellency the Lord Monk now D. of Albemarle.  
That useful Book for Gentlemen and Travellers, being an exact Description of the several Counties and Shires in England: by Ed. Leigh, Esq.  
The Rogue or the life of Gusman, De Alfaray, the Witty Spaniard, the Fifth and Last Edition.  
Fuller's Treple Reconciler.   

Small Octavo.  
Modern Polity completed, or the public Actions and Counsels, civil and military of his Excellency the Lord General Monk, under all Revolutions since 1640, to 1660. with the Principles moral and political upon which they were grounded; Illustrated out of the best masters of policy, ancient and modern.  
The complete Attorney, the fifth and last Edition.  
The History of the Affairs of Scotland under the conduct of the illustrious and truly valiant james marquis of Montrose.  
Advice to Baalam's Ass, or Momus Catechised in answer to a certain scribbler called I. Heydon, Author of advice to a Daughter.  
The Royal Buckler, or Salmasius in English.  
The Devil's Cabinet-councel Discovered, or the plots and contrivances of O. Cromwell and the Long Parliament, in Order to the taking away the Life of his sacred Majesty of Blessed memory.  
The crafty Whore, or the mystery and iniquity of Bawdy-Houses, with Dehortations from Lust: published for the good of Young men; by R. H. Esq.  
The Rump, or a Collection of such Songs and Ballads as were made upon them who would be a Parliament, and were but the Rump of an House of Commons, five times Dissolved; Collected by I. B. Esq.  
Cleavland's Poems.—  
Montelion's Comical Almanacs for 1660, & 1661.  
The Baptised Turk, or the Conversion of a Native Turk to the Christian Religion: by Dr. Warmestrey, Dr. Gunning, etc.  
Dr. Griffith's Sermon.  
Assent to Elisse by 3 steps, Philosophy, History, Theology, discovering man's true Felicity, whereunto is added that excellent Dialogue of Dr. Thaulerus with a Poor Beggar.  
Shimeies' Curses on King David lighting on himself, or a Parallel between the Sufferings of King David and his late Majesty.   

Quarles last Poems.  
An Exact History of the Life and Actions of Hugh Peter; as also his Diary now in the Press.  
Montelion's Introduction to Astrology; a thing long expected, in the Press now a printing.   

Large Twelve,  
Father's Blessing, or a Legacy to his Son, fitting him to carry himself through the various Encounters of this world.  
Whites Peripatetical Institutions in the way of Sir Kenelm Digby.  
Hook's Fatal Doom to the Reprobate, or an excellent Comment on the 1. of Cor. 16.22: Magerine Polity   

Small 12.  
Reynold's Word of Caution to the Atheists, and Errourists of our Time.  
The Christian Diary containing the whole Duty of man; by N. Causin.  
A physical Discourse of the Cure of Diseases by Signature; by R. Bunworth.  
Man in Paradise, a Philosophical Discourse.  
A New Discovery of the French Disease and Running of the Reins, their causes, signs, with plain and easy Directions of perfect curing the same; by R. Bunworth, Doctor of Physic, now in the Press, the 2 d Edition.   

In Twenty four.  
Lucius Florus.  
Sallust—  
Lessius of Health, with Cornaroes' Treatise of Temperance.  
Dr. Warmestry on the Sacrament.   
FINIS.   


The Giant Husonio.    

DON JUAN LAMBERTO: Or, a Comical HISTORY Of the Late Times.  
The second and last Part.  
Bianca Montelion Knight of the ORACLE. etc.  
LONDON, Printed by T. Leach, for Hen. Marsh, at the Prince's Arms in Chancery-lane near Fleetstreet, 1661.   

Don Juan Lamberto: OR, A COMICAL HISTORY OF The Late TIMES.  

CHAP. I. How the Seer Lisle hearing of the return of the lawful King of Britain, devised for to fly out of the Land; how he made him a Periwig of Camel's hair, and how he fled into Egypt in a winged Chariot.  
NOw as they were resting themselves in the Forest under the forsaken Tree, Sir Lambert unbuckled his Armour, and was laying himself down in a posture to sleep, when lo there came a snail creeping towards him, O● that I could now pray quoth he as well as the old Sultan could, for certanly this is an evil Spirit, but when he gathered up his resolution and struck it, the poor snail pulled in its horns, and then he had compassion thereon, for said he, this poor snail is in my condition, and pulls in its horns even as I am forced to pull in mine because of the tapp which the forty Tyrants have given me. But the forty Tyrants though they had vanquished Sir Lambert, did not yet enjoy their intended ease and quiet, for they were sorely pressed upon by the Loyal Knight, and the rest of the Christians that were with him, who were indeed too Cunning for them; For the Loyal Knight seeing that his Forces were not powerful enough for them, at first feigned himself to be a Pagan likewise, at which they were right glad, and commanded him to pull down the Gates of the City of Londinum, which when he had done, they said one to another▪ now the Town's ours, for they thought that they had made the Loyal Knight Cock sure to them, but when he saw how they had abused him, he called for one of the City Giants, who was seven yards high, and fifteen foot about the waste, and bid him go and pull those proud and furious Dominatours from th●ir imperious Thrones who presently took his March, and being come to the place where they were met, he put his hand in at the window, and took them out one by one, as men take out young Squabs out of Pigeon holes. Then did the forty Tyrant's howl, and bawl, and yawl, and fume, and swear, and tear, as the Poet most elegantly hath it, 
— rending their Throats for Anger.   
The Séer ponderd this saying in his mind. and laid it up in his breast as charily as a Country Gentlewoman kéeps her jewels; long looked he for this time. O when will it be, quoth he, that I shall increase this my small pittance, which with so covetous and sparing a hand Fortune hath measured me out? when shall I dine with a dozen dishes of meat, and look pleasantly to see my Consort carve up the second and third course? when shall Honour attend me, and the respect of the people wait upon the train of my gown● These are the things I gape for, and to obtain, what would I not do? I think there is nothing that I would not do; stay, let me examine myself. Could I renounce the Religion of my Country? A Pecadillo, a poor pitiful Pecadillo; Could I perjure myself? Yes I think I could, nay I am sure I could. Could I dispense with the murdering of one or two, or two or three, or forty or fifty, or so? not by way of Duel, for I am none of your hardy Knights, but as a judge I could, which is both safe and honourable.  
These his resolves were not long undiscovered 〈◊〉 the subtle searchers into the dispositions of men, of which the chief Sultan of Britain, and the forty Tyrants had then good store. Now mark ye, there is nothing more lucky in the world than for a man to be booted▪ and spar●'d, and to have nothing to do but to get up and ride upon an occasion when it offers itself▪ Even so it fell out with our Seer. For the Sultan, whose intention it was to extirpate all the Nobles of Britain, that were friends to the lawful King of Britain, had framed sundry▪ and several grievous accusations of heinous crimes and offences against them, that so he might bereave them of their estates and of their lives at once. Now left the people of Britain should think that he did any thing contrary to the Laws which were used in that Realm, he devised with himself to erect a Tribunal in imitation of a Court of true justice; which when he had brought to p●sse, yet still he wanted one who would undertake to sit as chief judge, and to pronounce the dire sentence of untimely death upon such innocent Knights whose hard mishap it was to be sacrificed to his wrath and fiery indignation. Then the Sultan of Britain casting about, and revolving in himself where he might and a at instrument to perform that office, he was at length informed of the Seer Lisle; wherefore he immediately caused him to be sent for, to appear before him: who incontinently made his address unto him, and that with so much readiness, that for hast he put on both his stockings the wrong side outward, which mark of obedience and willingness the Sultan was right glad to see. Gentle Lisle, quoth he, thou canst not be ignorant, how that I have many a right worthy Knight who are professed enemies to my greatness now within my power, which I must cause to be put to death, that so I may be secured in my great Dominions; Now so it is that I have chosen thee to be their Condemnator. Then the Seer Lisle made him three great bows, and sev●n congees and a half, promising him faithfully to do effectually whatever he commanded: For quoth he, Great Sultan thy behests are just, therefore have I forsaken the God of the Christians, to serve the God whom thou servest, and to submit to thee in all things; for who is like unto thee among all the Princes in the world. Thereupon he was without delay clothed in Scarlet, and a Throne was provided for him where he might sit in majesty to exercise cruelty as he pleased upon the distressed Christians; and indeed so dextrous was he and Lordly in his office, that few or none of the Christians escaped his bloody sentences. Wherefore the Sultan was right glad, and it pleased him to see that the Seer was so faithful unto him; Therefore he gave unto him the Lands and Palaces of the Christian Princes, so that the Seer lived right illustriously, his heart being at eafe and wallowing in plenty. But as after Winter cometh Summer, and after Summer cometh Winter again as after fair weather cometh fowl, and after fowl fair, so after the long tranquillity which our Seer enjoyed, ensued the boisterous storms of heart killing sorrow: for lo he that before looked big and haughty, and sat upon high places, where all men might view him, yet feared not the paw of the Bailiff, nor the fury of the Sultan's Ianisary's, is now not to be seen by any, skulking sometimes in Ovens, sometimes under the coats of Harlots, sometimes in old Trunks, sometimes like Diogenes living in Tubs, yet no where in security, but still asf●righted with continual fears; which kind of life, through the excess of trouble and discontent that was in it growing irksome unto the Seer Lisle, he bethought himself how he might escape out of the Land of Britain into some other Country. But quoth he into what Country shall I go? shall I go into Swedland? no: why? first and foremost because that in that place the Winters are long and the Summers are short. Secondly, because the Summers are short and the Winters are long. Thirdly and lastly, because it is an unfortunate Country, and they can never keep what they get, which is too much my own condition. As for France and Spain they be Kingdoms, which are no places for me: for even as the Stork delighteth in Commonwealths, even so do I. No I will go into Egypt, for that is a pleasant Country, and because the people of that Country be of my own Religion, and there lived the jews, of whose number was Achan, from whom I am lineally descended by the Father's side: and though there be no Kings, yet there be Tyrants, who are men after my own heart; And I will go into Egypt because of the Red-sea, for ye must know that I have been bred up near Red seas most part of my life, and was a maker of Red seas myself; Therefore as it is the nature of Ducks, Teal, and Mallard to frequent the shores of great Rivers, as also of the Ocean, and as it is the nature of the Soland Gec●e to build about the impregnable I stand of the Bass, so doth it agree with my desire to inhabit near the Red●sea.   

CHAP. II. Yet of the Seer Lisle, and of other things.  
WHen he had thus fortified his mind with the Barricado's of Constancy, and Rampires of Resolution, so that it was impossible to force it with the Ma●terpeices of Persuasion; he then be thought himself which might be the best way to conceal himself in his flight. Hereupon he entered into a very great Consultation, and debate concerning what was to be done with the Sable-browd-Inchantresse, and other of his Friends; some were of opinion that he should wrap himself in a Lion's skin, and so walk to the seashore upon all four; But this enterprise was left off, because that after they had tried the Sage three or four times, they found him very insufficient to roar, of which there was an exceeding great necessity, if the Country people should come too near to view or handle him as he went along. But there was nothing that pleased him so well as the way which last of all he devised with himself which was to put on a Periwig and a Beard of Camel's hair, for quoth he a Camel is a Beast that beareth great burdens, and I bear a great burden of woe and misery, and therefore since I must carry this great burden, it is fit that I should be as like a Camel as I may. Then did the Sable-browd-Inchantress send away incontinently three spirits Rimbombo, Nachor, and Rantantamboro into Arabia to fetch away the tails of 4 Camels, who went and came in less than a quarter of an hour, for they went as if the Devil had driven 'em, which is 10000 mile in a minute. When the Sable-browd-Enchantress had the Camels tails in her possession, than did she with wonderful Art frame thereof a certain large Periwig, the locks whereof reached down to his middle, and it was very graceful and comely to behold. Now when the Sage had put it on, he and the Enchantress communed together in this wise. Quoth he, most renowned Mariana, for so was the Sable browd-Enchantress named, who do I now look like? for certes it cannot be that I should be taken for who I am indeed, No quoth she, my most worthy Séet; It is for thy sake that I have run myself into very great hazzads, nor would I by any means that after all the pain which I have taken, that thy face should be no whit altered; But be thou assured that the Gods have prospered my undertake, for thou lookest not like thyself, but thou lookest even like Hector of Troy; Most assuredly I could like Circe have changed thee into a Swine, but I thought it better that thou shouldst look rather like Hector than a Hog. Most courteous Enchantress replied the Seer, I can never end celebrating your most high and more than humane Art, especially in the curling of my Periwig, which is done with so much art that I never saw the like in all my life. Gentle-Seer, replied the Enchantress, know right well, that so great is the respect which I bear unto thee, both in respect of the kindness which I have received from thee, and which thou hast afforded unto my Damsels, that I would not thou shouldst want any assistance that I can afford thee. Therefore now I call it to mind, there is one Gyges, who is in great esteem with the famous sir Pluto Knight of the Infernal shades, who hath a Ring, the virtue whereof is such, that he who ever wears the same shall walk invisible; That quoth the Seer would be of great advantage unto me, and I would when I had made use of it return it unto sir Gyges with all possible speed, and the choicest of my courteous thanks, Hereupon Rimbombo, Nachor, and Rantantamboro were again dispatched unto sir Gyges, ●o desire him in the name of the Sable-browd-Enchantress▪ that he would in courtesy lend her his Ring, the which had such excellent virtue, that she might pleasure a distressed Knight who was one of her Friends, who had great occasion thereof, Sir Gyges replied that he was always courteous unto distressed Knights, and had no less respect to the Sable-browd-Enchantress, so that he was right sorry that he could not do as she desired, for that he had lost the Ring that she sent for most unfortunately; for having left it off one morning when he went to wash his hands, the Damsel of the Castle swept it away. and threw it among the rubbish out of the Castle gates. When the Sage Lisle and the Enchantress heard this, they were right sorry, and were ready to weep for the anguish that fell upon their Spirits. But quoth the Sable-browd-Inchantresse, since I cannot have that, I will try my Spells for another. So she prepared all things in a readiness, and first she drew a large long Circle, which was the strangest that ever was seen, In the midst of this Circle they placed a Bed, the which had never been lain in before, into which the Sage Lisle was commanded to enter, and put himself naked between the Shéets. Then the Enchantress sitting down upon the Bed side, uttered several Charms in the Slavonian language, at the end whereof there arose from the four corners of the wind, four black Horses, with Spirits on their backs, in the shape of Monkeys, who demanded of the Enchantress what was her pleasure, who presently commanded them to fetch unto her one of the Nymphs of the Hesperian Orchard, who presently hurried away with such a Tempest as made the Earth to shake like an Aspen leaf, at the noise whereof the Mountains hoped and danced up and down, making a noise like the chopping of Potherbs; but they appeared again in the twinkling of an eye together with the Damsel, who seemed unto the eye as plump as a Partridge, and as ruddy as a Queen Apple. Being come, the Enchantress caused her to be laid in the Bed, by the side of the Sage Lisle, then drawing the Curtains and telling the Seer, that if he used the fair Virgin well, that he should have his hearts desire. She departed out of the Room. Now when the Seer and the Virgin were alone in Bed together, they enjoyed one the other all that night in a most pleasant wise, so that the fair Philothera for so was the Virgin cleped, having received great content from the Seer Li●le; quoth she, I am the happiest person in the world, for I thought when I died, that I should have lost all the pleasures of this earth, but thou hast given me new satisfaction, when I thought I should never have enjoyed the sweet solace of a man more. For to tell thee truth, right worthy Seer, I am the Soul of a Poulterer's Wife, who when my Husband broke, was preserved by the Charity of such Knights as frequented this Castle, to which I was daily invited by the Enchantress, how I came hither again, I know not, however I have reason to give thee thanks ●or the marvellous courtesies which thou hast afforded to me this night, so pulling off a Ring which she wore upon her thumb, she gave it him, desiring him to accept it as a token of her love, and having so said, she immediately vanished out of his sight. When he had thus obtained the Ring, he found there was one thing more which would be a great hindrance unto him, which was the tediousness of the journey, by reason of certain great Corns which he had upon his feet; wherefore calling unto him again Dame Mariana, the Black-browd-Inchantresse, they thereupon entered into new debates, and at length she resolved to make him a flying Chariot. It was made o● the Cawie of a Sea Mare four months gone, which she caused to be killed in the night, three minutes past the sixth hour the Sun entering into the Oriental Nadir, for being taken from the Sea Mare at that nick of time though it were as light as a feather, it became as hard as steel. The frame thereof was like a Sedan, the Poles thereof were smaller than the smallest Needles. Now the Enchantress having prepared all things ready, took the Seer and put him into the Chariot, together with a Bottle of Aniseed-water, and four Tabern Biscuits; then she embraced and kissed the Seer, and hug'd him, giving unto him a Bird-Call, telling him that he should soon find the virtue thereof, and bidding him withal be sure that he never left whistling till he came into Egypt. And indeed socunningly had she charmed this Bird-Call, that as soon as the Seer began to whistle, there came four Ostriches, which placing themselves under the four Poles of the Chariot, spread their wings, and being mounted high into the Air, steered their course directly to the Land of King Pharaoh. The Inchantress with heavy sorrow looked after him, till the noise of other Knights knocking at her Castle Gate called her to look after her other affairs.   

CHAP. III. How the Giant Husonio went to seek a Den and a Mountain, and what happened thereupon.  
O thou mighty Pipantabor, who dwellest in the car of a great Giant, yet fearest not the quagmires of wax which are therein, harken unto my words, and listen to my sayings, as a Chambermaid listens to hear the private discourse of her Master and Mistress. If thou sayest thou dost not hear me thou liest, neither art thou the mighty Pipantabor; And if thou sayest I cannot hear thee, thou liest yet more, for art not thou locally in my ear, and close by the Timpamuci thereof, which by reverberation, communicateth sounds unto the brain? Therefore thou must and shalt hear me: But what would I have thee do? Why I would have thee to show me a Mountain and a Den; yea I say unto thee, show me a Mountain and a Den, where the loyal Knight may not find me out, and I shall sacrifice unto thee for thy pain, an Hecatomb of black listed Lice, well fatted with humane Blood. If thou dost not, thou art neither civil nor courteous, for what Guest will not be kind to his Host who hath entertained him and given him harbour, as I have done unto thee.  
But to this Husonio made answer, 
My Load's mine own, my Answer's no.   
And saying those words, for he feared the multitude that was about him, he sank into the Sea, and letting another most formidable Fart, he blew the Sea up in such a manner, that there was a leagues distance from the bottom of th● Sea, and bottom of the waters; whereby it came to pass, that the Giant walked under the Sea as dry as if it had been in his own Dining-room, and so escaped Neptune's fury, until he came unto the Strand of Normania. Right happy was it that this strange adventure fell out; for the people that dwelled near the Sea shore, during this separation which continued twenty four hours, so violent was the force, that was the occasion thereof; greatly enriched themselves with the spoils of wracked ships, which had been heaped up by Neptune and his Tritons for their own use many ages before.  
I need not tell you how the Giant Husonio made him a fire when he came on shore, for what need he make him a fire to dry himself, who walked so dry as he did through the Sea; yet others say he did make a fire, but it was not to dry himself, but to parboil his supper; which as soon as he came on shore, without much meditation he went to provide. Quoth he, I can do no more mischief in my own Country, therefore I will do it in another; And upon those words he went and cut down a whole Forest, without considering in the least who was the Landlord, or whether the Landlord held it only for Life or in Fee. Nor was it not long ere opportunity put meat into his mouth, as I shall prepare to tell you. There was a certain great Town some leagues distant from the place where the Giant Husonio had made his great fire, thither two men and a Boy were driving a numerous he●d of large Oxen; The Giant seeing them coming laughed for joy; and when th●y approached near he took the said Oxen one by one, and swallowed them down whole, and when he had swallowed them all, he took the two men and the Boy, and swallowed them also; for quoth he these Knabes may chance to go and raise the Country. When he had swallowed all the said Oxen, he found his stomach indifferent full, which caused in him a desire to rest his bones, which desire caused him to lay himself all along before the said fire; He had not laid there long but he fell into a deep sleep, which being preceived by one of the men that he had swallowed, by the terrible snoring that he made, the man not unwilling to miss so notable an opportunity crept out at his mouth, and seeing him so fast asleep, he went in again, and told his fellows thereof, urging the benefit of the occasion, with such a pithy and well ordered speech, he so wrought upon his Companions, that they gross, and with great secrecy drove the cattle toward his mouth, but coming to his teeth, they found them so close shut, that it was not was not possible to open them without waking the Giant, wherefore they were fore afflicted: But what will not the invention of man do, when it is in a straight? for seeing themselves stopped here, they bethought themselves that the Giant had another hole through which they hoped to pass more securely because it was not so near his ears; whereupon they drove the Oxen back again, and searching they found the back passage without any barricado's at all, so that with great content they at length got clear of their p●●son; when they were got loose they were as merry as Crickets, but the Giant awaking, quoth he, what a huge stool have I had, but it was well I had it, for certes at the middle of the night the Oxen began to rise plaguily in my stomach.   

CHAP. IU. How Sr. Vane and Sr. Lambert disputed together, and how Sr. Vane made Sr. Lambert believe that the Moon was made of green Cheese.  
NOw you must understand that after the Knight of the Golden Tulip was retaken through the great Courage of the Knight of the Bath, he was secured in the Castle of the Lions, and eke the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories was there secured also, so that they had often opportunities to discourse together. Now when they saw each they congratulated one another right lovingly; Quoth Sr. Vane I am right glad to see you Sr. Lambert, though not so glad to see you here, however it is better to be here than in the open Fields, where there is no shelter against the Rain, nor any other kind of storm that should happen, for here we have Houses over our heads, so that if it should rain Dogs and Cats we could have no harm. And by the Mass quoth Sr. Lambert you speak right cunningly Sr. Vane; And besides this we do not fear to have our Corns trod upon by the Horses of the enraged Charrioters, nor are we in danger to be bruised by those sturdy Giants cleped Carrmen, nor need we fear to have our Mantles snatched from us going late in the direful plain of Lincolns-Inna; However Liberty is worth its weight in pure Gold. If that be all replied Sr. V●ne, comfort thyself Sr. Lambert; for this restraint which is put upon us ought to make us estéem the better of ourselves: For experience tells us that have lived long in the World, how that men lock up their choicest jewels in the most secure places of their Houses; And you see that though at first the Nightingale be moody, yet eftsoons will she sing in her Cage as pleasantly as in the open Air; And I pray what is the Body but the prison of the Soul? and yet our Souls fear nothing more than to be set at liberty. Then said Sr. Lambert to Sr. Vane, since that we are here met so fortunately together, I entreat you to accept of a small entertainment from me this night, for that I have many things concerning which to confer with you; Most willingly replied Sr. Vane, for that your company is right pleasing unto me. When Supper was brought in, they commanded their Servants to depart, for that they intended to be very private. Then quoth Sir▪ Lambert, most renowned Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, methinks that we being Knights should not be here without our Ladies: though as for mine, I might have the same Opinion of her as Helion had of the fair Constantia, because of the reported familiarity which was between her and the Sultan of Britain. As for that replied Sr. Vane, I will show thee many examples of Ladies whose fame hath been blasted, which yet before the end of the sting have made a shift to rectify the mistakes between their Knights and them. But quoth Sr. Lambert, suppose that may not be, but that the error be committed, can that be said to concern me any way which was never any pain to me in the World, and of which never any part of my body was sensible. Then replied the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, Cuckoldry is a very great mystery, and every man understands it not, for true it is, that though you be at Gran Cairo, and your Wife be in any part of the Land of Britain, yet at that very moment of time that she admitteth a stranger to copulate with her, shall the invisible Horn find shelter under the thicket of your Foretop. That quoth Sr. Lambert full hardly can I believe, for that you may as well make me believe the Moon is made of green Cheese. Certes replied Sr. Vane, you are very ignorant, for the thing by which you seek to prove the impossibility of what I aver, is the greatest Argument of the truth thereof. Why quoth Sr. Lambert is the Moon then made of green Cheese? then will I be hanged. Mark ye, quoth Sr. Vane how you confound yourself, and how I shall use your own Arguments against you, for if it be not then will I be hanged. But have you no other Argument replied Sr. Lambert. Most surely replied Sr. Vane; First because I have said it, whose wisdom by which you have so long beed governed would receive no small affront, and yourself not a little disparage yourself, should you not believe me in this thing as well as in other; Then proceeded Sr. Vane saying, Know ye then right well Sr. Lambert, that in Metaphysics the Notional difference makes a clear distinction, as falling into an incapacitated sense of the objected Medium. As for example, I say the Moon is made of green Cheese; For green metaphysically distinguished is white, by reason of the objected Medium which is the blue Air; For if you look upon green through a blue Glass, than it will appear— Hereupon Sir, Lambert interrupting him said unto him, what! thou wilt by and by make me believe the Moon is made of blue Cheese. No replied Sr. Vane, for I am no Changeling though the Moon be one; I say the Moon is made of green Cheese; For mark ye what I shall say; Behold your Uirgnis afflicted with the green Sickness, they are said to look green, when they are in verity white; We call Geese green, yet who is such a Goose as doth not perceive them to be many times grey; Mo●t is said to be green roasted, when it is all over red with blood; And all the World that hnows what green Fish is, knows it to be white. And thus the Moon being either red, grey, or white, may properly be said to be green; Now that it is a Cheese, the Allegorical Configuration of the Supernatural Ideas doth make manifest; For you see how that a Cheese in its Spherical Rotundity wanes and wanes till it come to be all eaten, and then presently appears a new Cheese; Even ●o you see it is with the Moon, which when it is at its smallest decrease, that is all eaten up by the Gods, then comes a new Moon. Moreover do you not see holes in a Cheese? and did not the Necromancer Galileo descry Holes and Concavities in the Moon. When Sr. Lambert heard this, he twisted his Mustachio's with his fore finger and thumb, listening unto the words of Sr. Vane like unto a Sow in the Beans: But quoth he, Sr. Vane, for all this you tell a strange story, certes I know not how to believe it. When Sr. Vane heard that, he waxed wroth, and swore by his Gods, that unless he would believe that the Moon was made of green Cheese he would not give his Daughter unto his Son. Sr. Lambert was much appalled thereat, and incontinently altered his Opinion, saying that if he would swear it he would believe it. Then Sr. Vane putting the top of his little Finger upon the top of his No●e swore in this following manner.  I Henry Vane, Knight of the Order of Mysterious Allegories, do swear by the Smock of Dejanica, that the Moon is made of green Cheese, and if it be a lie the Devil confound me. 
Then Sir Lambert putting his forefinger in his Tail, swore as followeth.  I Sir Lambert, the valiant Knight of the Golden Tulip, swear by the Beard of Hercules, that both directly and indirectly, I do believe that the Moon is made of green Cheese, and that it is agreeable to the literal ●ence of Allegorical conclusions. 
When they had both sworn in this manner, they sho●k hands in most friendly manner; & Sir Vane being mightily pu●t in his mind for so great a Conquest, went to Bed.   

CHAP V. How Sir. Baxtero, Knight of the Lions, went in quest after Sir Ludlow, Knight of the powdering-tub, and how he encountered the Giant Thomabedlamus, and how he prevented the lust of the said Giant, and afterwards departed toward Assyria.  
NOw it felt out that Sir Baxtero having heard how that Sir Ludlow was departed out of Britain, he made great lamentation and moaning; there be that say how he wept even like a young Damosel, who being sent to the Alehouse, loses her money by the way. O quoth he, is Sir Ludlow departed? then what do I make here? Surely it is to no more purpose for me to stay here, than for an ginger to live in an Oven; Alas if he do fly the encounter of those Knights that are in pursuit of him, who is as valiant as Hector, how is it possible for me to encounter them, who am so much inferior to him? Now by all the Gods, I am like a man in a Wood, like a man in a Mist, yea in a thick Mist, like a man in a Forest, yea like a man in a thick Forest. Farewell great mirror of Chivalry; now do not I know whither to go after him, neither is there any one that can tell me: for should he be gone to the South, and I should go to the Cast, what were I the nearer? Therefore great Fortune be thou my guide, and direct my stick to fall the right way, for I do intend to go that way my stick falls. Then greatly perplexed in his soul, he set up his ●●affe, and it fell toward the Southeast; Then did he incontinently buckle on his Helmet, and bestriding his sturdy Courser, who was cleped Stanfurder, he pricked forward toward the Sea-coast. Now was glittering Phoebus riding with a swift carear through the midst of Heaven, causing the hand of the Dyal to point to that hour of the day when men in Towns and Cities prepare to satisfy their hunger, when the Knight of the Lions, weary with long travel, laid him down under the shadow of a spreading Oak, nor was it long ere the cares of his mind hung plummets upon his eyelids, which were closed thereby so close together, that you could not thrust the point of a needle between them, by which you may guess that he was fast asleep. But Fortune that intended nothing less than to let him sleep, was resolved to awaken him, for lo, the Giant Thomabedlamus full of high soaring thoughts, set his bugle to the corner of his mouth, and blew such a blast, as if all the Bulls of Basan had been roaring together; all the Trees in the Forest shook for fear, and bowed their lofty heads as they are wont to do when blustering Boreas comes in the Devil's name among them to gather Acorns. Now you must know this, or else you know nothing, that the fair Damosel, cleped Tatterdemalliona, was fled from the rage of the cruel wight her Father, who had as she said, and the story doth also aver, sent her to pick Daisies, for that she had yielded up her Maiden head too inconsiderately to K●lmaddox the Knight of the Bloody Cleaver: Long had she wandered, so that her feet looked like claryfied Whey, and she panted ●ike a broken-winded-horse, clambering up the King Ludd's Mountain: Sometimes as she sat, she picked the gravel out of her feet, for the Author of the History saith, that she was very sore by reason of the same; sometimes she was in chase of certain evil creatures, cleped F●eas, that did delacerate her snowy bosom, which caused those Ivory Mountains to be displayed unto the view of burning Phoebus, so that whoever was near her might discern the beauty of her nakedness, and the nakedness of her beauty, without the Prospective Glass of Tychobrahe. Now you must know that the Giant Thomabedlamus as he was leaning over a high Oak into the green placed, whereas the distressed Damosel sat, espied her in this condition and posture: now wot ye well when he saw her, that he was in a great Agony, for his goggle eyes rolled up and down, and the drivil ran down his Beard for joy, for that the Lady was passing beauteous; but he did not study to woo her with Love-verses, neither did he sigh for sorrow, neither did he beat his breast, or make complaints of her disdain, for said he to himself, is not this Forest mine, and all that is therein? Then who shall give me any disturbance? Seeing that there is no Knight so hardy who dares approach these enchanted Shades, I will enjoy this Damosel as many times as there be leaves in this Forest, for that she pleaseth me wondrous well; Then the Giant rushed in unto her, and said, Hail fair Damosel, if thou wilt yield unto me I will do thee no harm; whenas she heheld so great a Giant, she squéeked right effeminately, and made such a loud Yell, as she had been a young Grayhound tied up in her Kennel. Then the Giant bespoke her, saying, squeak not fair Damosel so loud, for thou squeekest in vain. Alas quoth she, Sir Giant, it is time for me to squeak, when thou seekest to crop my Uirgin-flower; Then quoth the Giant, tell me not of thy Virgin flower, What signifieth thy flower, or thy Uirgin-flower to me? we Giants never consider them at all. When the Damosel heard him speak so terribly, the blood forsook her pale cheeks, and though her feet were so sore, as we told you before, yet she assayed to run away, but the Giant catching her about the waste, laid his great paw upon her coral lips, and stopped her mouth, beginning to deal with her as men deal with Courtesans at Venice. The Damosel finding her mouth stopped, made a noise like a Pig that is grasped about the Snout. Now you m●st know that the Knight of the Lions, being as we said, awakened out of his sleep, heard the noise which came out of the Damosels Nose, her mouth being stopped, at which he greatly marvelled, for he wondered what it should be; Peeping therefore through the bushes, he saw the Giant and the Damosel together, and how the Giant tumbled the Damosel, as Children tumble great Snowballs in the streets. Ah quoth the Knight of the Lions, certes this fair Damosel must needs be in a peck of troubles, but how to relieve her I cannot tell, for if I should assay to strappe his jacket, and he should c●rry my Coat, than were the Damosel and I both in a worse condition than before. However great pity it is that she should suffer, and great shame for me to let her. And having said these words, he rushed in upon the Giant, and ere that he could be aware of him, and as the story saith, while he was at rem●in●re, he gave him such a remembrance upon the small of the b●ck, that had he not been a Giant, most certainly he had broken his chine. The Giant was hereupon in great wrath; Could you blame him? but finding himself so weak by reason of the stroke, that he could not go, he spatt at the Knight of the Lions, and spatt so violently in his face, that he had almost beaten the Knight of the Lions backward; But the Knight of the Lions recovering himself, saw how that his Tassel gentle lay like a bridge between his belly and the fair Damosel, wherefore without delay, with a courage Monsieur, he smote thereon so hardily, that he cut it in twain, as it had been a silken thread, and the sword glancing along, took away also one half of his Testicles, as you would slit a Walnut in twain, the pain thereof made the Giant Thomabedlamus to roar like any Lyon. Ay me, quoth he, hard hearted Girl, now by all the Gods I do curse thee from the bottom of my heart to the bottomless pit of the infernal shades. When the Knight of the Lions had performed this adventure, he departed toward the Land of Assyria, but because he was hard pursued by the Loyal Knight, he changed his upper garments to Palmer's grey, the best means to pass without molestation.   

CHAP. VI How Sir Ludlojus Knight of the green Powdering Tub, was hid under a Tree, and so escaped his enemies because of a Bird.  
ANd it fell on a day, how that Sir Ludlojus Knight of the green Powdering Tub, was riding all alone toward the Land of Assyria, which being heard at the Court of the King of Britain▪ several Knights were sent to pursue him, and take him; and certes they pursued him right ●orely, for he was much hated by them; but when the Knight of the green Powdering Tub saw them coming, his heart was almost drowned in fear, and his lungs had e'en forgot to what purpose they were made. Alas quoth he unfortunate Knight, what wilt thou do▪ If thou runnest for it, thou wilt certainly be overtaken, and wilt only give thy enemies the mirth of a pleasant Chase. And why shouldst thou hazard thy life by staying, which kind Fortune may save? Then seeing no other remedy, he cast himself from his Horse, and peeping about, he espied a Bush, and crept thereinto, for the Wood was very thick there. Now when his enemies came to seek him there, they could not find him, but they saw a Bird sit on a Tree, the which Bird men call an Owl, and then said they that there was no man, for the Bird sat there; and so they went away. So when sable night had curtained the world in darkness, he proceeded on his journey, and from that time unto this day, it is said that Sir Ludlojus hath that Bird in great reverence, and worships it above all other Birds in the world.   

CHAP. VII. How the Giant Okey wandered up and down the world in great terror, and how he was afterwards found in a Wood by the Sultan of Britain's Daughter, in whose presence he slew himself, with other accidents that after happened.  
YOu do well remember that when the Christian Champions had discomfited the H●st of the meek Knight, as also of the forty Tyrants, that the disloyal Giant Okey secretly fled, partly out of anger for the loss, partly for the preservation of his life. So in great grief and terror of Conscience he wandered like a fugitive up and ●own the world, sometimes remembering of his past prosperity, and sometimes thinking upon the Rapes that he had committed and how he had sorely afflicted several Knights who were thrown into his power by the Necromancer Hugo Petros. Sometime his guilty mind imagined, that the bleeding Ghost of the good King of Britain, whom he had mudered, followed him up and down, haunting him with fearful exclamations, and filling each corner of the earth with clamours of revengement. Such fear and terror raged in his soul, that he thought all places where he traveled, were filled with multitudes of Knights, and that the strength of Countries pursued him, to heap vengeance upon his guilty head for those wrongs that he had wrought, whereby he cursed the hour of his birth, and blamed the cause of his creation, wishing the Fates to consume his body with a flash of fire. In this manner he traveled up and down, filling all places with echoes of his grief, which brought him into such, that many times he would have slain himself.  
But it happened that one morning very early, by the first light of Titan's burning Torch, he entered into a narrow and straight passage, which conducted him into a very thick and solitary Forest, wherein he traveled, till such time as glistering Phoebus had passed the half part of his journey. And being weary with the long way, and the great weight of his Armour, he sat him down, and began anew to have in remembrance his former committed cruelty; and complaining of Fortune, he thus published his grief, for seeing himself without remedy he resolved like the Swan, to sing a while before his death and so thinking to give ease to his tormented heart, he warbled forth these verses following.  

MOurnful Melpomene approach with speed,  
And show thy sacred face with tears besprent,  
Let all thy Sister's hearts with sorrow bleed,  
To hear my plaints, and rueful discontent;  
And with your moans, sweet Muses all assist  
My mournful Song, that doth on woe consist,   

Time wears out life, it is reported so,  
And so it may, I will it not deny,  
Yet have I tried, and by experience know,  
Time gives no end to this my misery;  
But rather Fortune, Time, and Fates agree,  
To plague my heart with woe eternally.   

Ye Silvian Nymphs that in these Woods do shroud,  
To you my mournful sorrows I declare;  
You Savage Satyrs let your ears be bowed  
To hear my woe your nimble selves prepare,  
Trees, Herbs, and Flowers, in Rural Fields that grow▪  
Are never troubled with such lasting woe.   

You furious beasts that feed on Mountains high,  
And restless run with rage your prey to find,  
Draw near to him whose brutish cruelty  
Hath cropped the bud of Virgins chaste and kind.  
I know no means to yield my heart relief,  
'Tis only death which can dissolve my grief.   

When as I think upon my pleasures past,  
Now turned to pain, it makes me rue my state;  
And since my joy with woe is overcast,  
O Death give end to my unhappy state;  
For only death will lasting ease provide,  
Where living thus, I sundry deaths abide▪   

Wherefore all you that hear my mournful Song.  
And ●asted have the grief that I sustain;  
All lustful Murderers that have done wrong,  
With tear-filled eyes assist me to complain;  
All that have being, do my being hate,  
Crying, haste, haste, this Wretchet dying state.   
This sorrowful Song being ended, he laid himself all along upon the green grass, closing up the Closets of his Eyes, in hope to repose himself in a quiet sleep, in which silent Contemplation we will leave him a while, and return to Mistress Francisca, the Sultan of Britain's Daughter; For she was beloved by two right famous Knights, Sr. Reynoldo, the vailant Knight of the Castle Dunkirkum, and the young Knight of the Flaming Fan, cleped Don Ricco, who both did greatly contend for her; But it so fell out, that Sr. Reynoldo was drowned in the green Ocean; for he went about to fly over the Sea, but he could not; for either his Wings were too short or too long, or else something else was the matter, for it so happened that he failed in his enterprise; Now when Sr. Reynoldo was dead, Don Ricco did incontinently enjoy his Love; but he was likewise bewitched by the cruel Pockyhora, who was the most notable Enchantress of her time, and so he died like wise. Whereupon the beautiful Mistress Francisca made great moans and lamentations, but it was all to no purpose; therefore she departed secretly from her Father's Court, for that she was made believe by the Enchantress Pockyhora, how that Don Ricco was not dead, but was gone to pursue an Adventure in the Court of the King of Morocco, against two Knights of the Pewter Syringe who had right sorely abused him; Now in her Travels she wandered over Hills and Dales, over Mountains and Ualleys, and one Night among all the rest she lay in a Gravel-pit all night, and as she lay asleep, a right vehement shower fell from Heaven and moistened her garments to her Oriental skin, than she arose and rung her l●lly white smock, and so she went on her way; And at length she came to the Forest, where the disloyal Giant Okey lay under a Chestnut Tree: Now when they beheld each other, they greeted one another in a most wonderful manner, and the Giant would have lain with her, but she refused, saying that she was not in a condition to do any such thing. Then said the Giant unto her in the name of all the Gods what make you here? to which she replied, I pray Sir, Giant what make you here? Oh quoth the Giant, I am stuffed up with sorrow; And I quoth the Lady, am almost stifled with woe. Oh quoth the Giant than surely our Cases are both alike; Certes quoth the Lady, they are so, even just so like as Fourpences is to a Groat. Then the Giant would have persuaded her to have slain him; but she refused, bidding him to do it himself, for she said, that the Sultan of Britain had never bred her up to be any body's servant. The Giant hearing her words was right sorrowful, and lay still a good space as he had been in a Trance, but anon rising up again, and staring about him, some three or four times, there he is quoth he, and then he ran with great fury towards the Body of a great Oak that stood hard by, for he took it to be the Knight of the Black Armour; Accursed Wight quoth he, now shalt thou pay for all thy Uillanies, and so saying he struck so violently against the Tree with his Iron Mace, that he broke it all in shivers: How quoth the Giant, art thou able to bear so great a blow, and yet stand? Certes I will cast thee down to the ground eftsoons, and tread out thy guts: And having said those words he ran his head so violently against the Tree, thinking to have born down the Knight of the Black Armour with the weight of his Body, that with the force of the shock he dashed out his own brains; Ah quoth the Giant, Sr. Knight right valiantly thou hast overcome me; yet I could have wish'● thou mightst have fallen likewise, And anon he groaned like an expiring Whale, and then he gaped so wide, that his Chaps were almost a quarter of a Mile asunder, and then his Soul went forth in the shape of a Sea-horse, but whither I wot not.   

CHAP. VIII. How the Archpriest Hugo Petros, made love unto the fair Dolcomona, who was married to Kilmaddox Knight of the Bloody Cleaver, and of the Letter which he wrote unto her, and what happened thereupon.  
NOw you must understand that in Londinum there lived an Archpriest who was cleped Hugo Petros; to him had the Sultan of Britain given large possessions, and did oft times discover unto him his bosom thoughts; This made him rich, and his riches made him insolent, he was also greatly lustful, so that he never looked upon any Danisel that was fair but he lusted after her. Now it happened on a day, that he went to buy Offerings for his Paynim God, the which it was cleped Greedy-Colon, which he worshipped more than any other God; and as he was buying his said Offering, he chanced to espy the fair Dolcomona Wife to Sr. Kilmadd●x Knight of the Bloody Cleaver; she was sitting under a Bower, with a Fan in her hand made of an old Beaver wherewith she kept off the Flies from the Sacrifices; Her Face it was full fairly fat, and her Arms were plump and round like two Collars of Brawn, her Cheeks were as red as scarlet, and her Eyes were like the eyes of a Ram, her Fingers were thick and small, and at her side hung a large Pouch, and the Keys of Sr. Kilmaddox's Castle. Now when the Archpriest beheld her, he was marvellously enamonted on her, and greatly desired for to enjoy her; Many opportunities he sought, and many he failed of; Wherefore with a heart full of despair, and much wasted, for that the Fat thereof was almost dript away, through the heat of those flames that continually tossed it, he went to the Knight of the Sack-but, who dwelled in a Castle close by, and before the Gate of his Castle there was a Ship which hung in the Air by Magic Art, and when men saw that ship, than they said one to another, this is the Castle of the Knight of the Sack-but. To him the Archpriest disclosed all the secrets of his heart desiring his assistance withal. The Knight of the Sack-but replied right courteously, that he was ready to serve him to the uttermost of his power; Nor do I imagine quoth he, that the fair Dolcomona hath a Heart so stony which will not be broken by the Hammer of thy Eloquence. When the Archpriest heard him say so, he was much comforted, and determined to give her notice of his love in the most passionate lines, the ●enor whereof were as follows.  
Most incomparable Dolcomona,  
I Am both your Servant and your Chaplain, I beseech you not to stop your ears, for that I am burnt up in affection toward your fair person, but rather to set them wide open to hear my rude lines; For you must know most redoubted Lady, that the beauty of your admirable person, and the supernatural form wherein you are framed and composed, hath even ravished my spirits, broken my heart, split my whole senses insunder, and quite bereft me of all rest both day and night, and only with doting on your peerless beauty; Again fair Lady my meat, drink, manners, yea and my very countenance, they all plead at the Bar of thy fair Face, and resplendent Countenance; If you refuse me, denying these my unrestful thoughts, I can look for nothing but present death, nay I rather covet therein to be locked fast as in a prison, than receive denial from your fair lips. O most fair, most courteous, most amiable, gentle, and also right youthful Lady, be not thou the cause that I should determine my life by losing your love, but rather grant what I desire, and thereby make me for ever yours in hearty affection. If you urge how I dare offend the Gods by this unlawful act? To that fair Lady I answer, that I am one of the Vicars of the Gods upon Earth, and therefore it wholly rests in my power to absolve you from your sins, and enjoin you penance, which trust me Lady shall be very easy, so you will grant me your love.  
Then the Archpriest sealed up this Letter, and gave it the Knight of the Sack-but, and he gave it to his doughty Squire, who was cleped Anonanonsir, chargeing him that he should deliver it into the hands of the fair Lady Dolcomona, with as much privacy as could be imagined. But sometimes the Fates will not permit those things to come to pass, which men do in their own thoughts contrive. For Sr. Kilmaddox seeing the Squire whisper in the fair Dolcomona's ear, with an angry Countenance demanded the cause of the Squires coming; she asked him what that was to him? Then Sr. Kilmaddox struck her so hard upon the Cheek that he had almost stunned her, whereupon she cried out murder with a loud voice; after that she ran with a great fury out of the doors, with one of her teeth in her hand, which Sr. Kilmaddox had struck out of her head, vowing in great wrath to be revenged on him. So the went to the Castle of the Knight of the Sack-but, and incontinently the Squire waited on her up to the Archpriest. When the Arch Priest be held her, he ran unto her and embraced her, and kissed her so hard, that she cried out through the anguish of the pain▪ what ails the joy of my life quoth the Archpriest? Alas replied the fair Dolcomona, the cruel Sr. Kilmaddox wou●d have s●●i● me, raging with jealousy. Now by the Gods quoth th● Archpriest, if I were a Knight I would slay him myself, but I will hire one that shall do it▪ and that shall be all one; Thereupon the Archpriest went and hired the Knight of the Coal-wharse, who was a right grim Knight, and he went and fought with Sr. Kilmaddox, and killed him straightway. Then was the Archpriest right glad, and he said to the fair Dolcomona, let us now enjoy those pleasures which with so much hazard we have purchased; which when she had readily consented to, because they would be private, he carried her forth in a Chariot toward the Forest of Maribona; Now was scorching Phoebus raging in the midst of Heaven, when these two loving Couple laid themselves down under the shade of a spreading Chestnut Tree; nor was it long ere the Archpriest raging with Concupiscence, began the combat of love; when a Country Swain searching for some cattle that he had lost, espied them at their sport: Then the Swain ran presently and called others that were hard by, and when they came, they were right joyful to see what they saw, for the Archpriest was ill b●lov'd of all the people of Britain. When the Archpriest saw that he was so surpri'sd, he withdrew his File from the Iron, and rising on his feet, quoth he, My good friends, first read ye the lives of the holy Fathers, and then condemn me if you think fit to the Gallows, it was Pluto in my shape, and with my voice that hath done this mischief, and not I, for the Archpriest of Britain could do no such evil. However it was related abroad, and believed for a truth, so that the Archpriest suffered great Insamy thereupon.   

CHAP. IX. How the Necromancer Scoto seeing the devices of the Forty Tyrants to fail, would have raised up the Devil to his Assistance.  
THe night was as dark as black pitch▪ and a thick M●st covered the face of the Sky, so that a man could in no wise have seen the Stars, though he had the eyes of the quick sighted Lynceus, when a dark cloud of melancholy thoughts enveloped the brow of Scoto the Necromancer. I was, quoth he, in former time, so long as Fortune smiled upon me, one of the chief Commanders of the Land of Britain, but now pale be the brightness of the clear Sun, and cover the earth with everlasting darkness; Skies turn to pitch, Elements to flaming fire; roar Hell, quake Earth, swell Seas, blast Earth, Rocks rend in twain, for now will I try the utmost of my Magic Spells, for men do fall me, therefore Devils must help me. So he got him a great Hoop, made of black Ebony, and tied it round about with long thread Laces. In the midst thereof he stood, clad in a vestment of Seagréen perpetuana, on his head he had a Pasteboard Hat, covered with a green Case, oiled, his loins were girt about with a Girdle made of Bulls pizzles, enchanted by Magic Art, at the first peeping of the new Moon; before his b●c●● he wore a plate of Tin, whereon was pictured a Gorgon head. Then he muttered a hundred and ten hard words, as fast as he could tumble them out of his mouth, and read a whole Sermon, made by the Seer Strong, the which he had written in Characters of Short hand. When the Devil heard that, he was greatly amazed, not knowing what it meant, for that it was one of the latest inventions among Mortals. Then he came unto the Seer Scoto, and said unto him, what wouldst thou have thou vain fool? get thee about thy business, and come to me when I call for thee, which will be very suddenly: with that he departed, but whither I wot not.   

CHAP. X. How a certain Vandal, cleped Vennero, came to Londinum, and defied all the Christians; and how his fury was abated.  
NOW you must know that in those days, there lived a Uandal in a wood, who was height Vennero, for when he was born, his Mother left him in this wood, being pursued by two bloodthirsty Satyrs, who would have done something to her, that it seems she would not have them do. Now being so left there, this ●amen young Uandal, was suckled by a wild Mare, and he grew up▪ and fed upon the Barks of trees; now it came to pass, that in process of time there came a Christian wandering to the wood, and he rushed forth, and flew him, and drank up his blood, and liked it wondrous well, so that he desired to have a whole Ocean full, some to keep in Hogsheads▪ for the winter, and some to draw out in Bo●ies for the summer; Then they told him if he would go into the City of Londin●m and kill Christians, he might have as much as he would drink; with that he pulled up a hollow Oak by the roots, and cut therein holes for his Arms, and it was unto him as a Coat of Male; Then he came unto the City of Londinum in great wrath; for he swore that he valued the Christians no more than Butcher's Dogs valued Rubies. So as I told you before, he pressed into the City of Londinum by Night, and then the Folk were all charmed up with the Charms of Morpheu●; But when they rose in the Morning to go about their business▪ they had better have kept themselves in their warm Beds, for why? Why because this cruel Uandal met them, as they came out of their Doors, and destroyed them; And when he had so destroyed them, he eat them without either Capers or Sampire. What a disturbance this bred in the City of Londinum you may well conjecture. When these tidings came to the Ears of the Christian Knights, they resolved to purchase Fame with the Blood of this Uandal; Many other rewards were also promised to him that should vanquish, beside that of Fame, by the fair Dames of Londinum, as Bevers, new Suits, Purses of Gold, Night's lodgings, and the like, for they would have given any thing at that time to have been rid of this Uandal. There came Don Contumeliano the Knight of Fortune, but the Uandal eftsoons laid him upon the cold Earth, and then sawed off his Ears with the rough end of a Bone o● a Sirloyn of Béef. Then there was the Knight of the Blue Apron, and then there was the mighty Vulcan, with twenty grim Cyclops' besides, and they laid upon his Head, as they used to bang their Anviles, when they made the Armour of Achilles; B●t the Uandal was mad to hear such a noise about his Ears, which caused him so to lay about him, that his Enemy's fel● be●ore him like mowed Barley. Then fear came upon the people of Londinum, and they knew not what to do; At length some wiser than some, caused great Traps to be made like Mouse-Trapps, which they set in the Street, having first bai●ed them with Bread and Cheese, but the cunning Uandal took away the Bread and the Cheese, and yet the Trapp fell not down, for he made no more of the Trapp, than St. George made of an Enchanted Castle. Which when Don Crisp●ano the Knight of the Golden Last perceived, he gave the Uandal so fierce an Encounter, that the Uandal lost his Stirrups, and had fallen, but that he held by his Hors' Neck; for he now had got him a Horse, but how I am not able to inform you. But for Don Crispiano, he measured his length on the Ground, and his Shield was taken from him; Then the Ua●dal demanded his name, but he answered, he had no other name than the Knight of the Golden Last. The ne●● that s●t upon him, was the Knight of the Eagle; so ●a●led, for that the Castle where he ●ived, was known by that s●●n. The Uandal and he right valiantly cou●ned their Spheres, and the first course proved so valiant, that their Spheres s●ivered all in splintered▪ Each Combatant perceiving Valour to brandish on the top of his Helmet, they thought fit to make a pause. Right valiant Mortal, quoth the Uandal, I am glad that I have met with thee, for thou seemest to be right strong, but for all this, I care not a Button for thee; th' other bout I'm resolved to have with thee; But what said the Thatcher to his man? First let's drink. So he called for a whole gallon of Aqua Vitae, and mixed it with the blood of the Knight of the Golden Last▪ who was last slain, and drank it up at one draught. After that they made a second course wherein the Knight of the Eagle got the better; for he pressed so hard upon him, that ●he ●ran ●his Lance into his neck, the anguish of which wound, caused the Uandal to fall to the ground: when he was fallen to the ground, the Christians came in shoals, and took him, and bound him with iron hoops, and threw him into a Dungeon, and after that they hanged him, and so there was an end of this Vandal.   

CHAP. XI. How Pacolet the Dwarf, cozened the Necromancer Scoto, when he had him upon his Horse, and instead of carrying him into the Territories of the King of Hispania, brought him to Londinum, where he was hanged.  
NOW Scoto the Necromancer seeing that he could not avoid the fury of the Christians; and for that his Charms did also fail him, he fled away, for he prayed right fervently unto blustering Boreas; wherefore blustering Boreas hearing his prayers, took him, and carried him away in a Cloak-bag into the Land of Flandria. Now as soon as Pacolet the Dwarf espied him; Quoth he unto the Séer; Right worthy Seer, In the Name of the Ruler of the Air, what make you here? Quoth he, if I make any thing, I make Buttons, for I am in deadly fear of the Christians. Then said the Dwarf, Right worthy Seer know this, that I am lately come out of the Land of Hispania, where I know to secure thee as safe as a Thief in a Mill, therefore come along with me, and slay no longer to expostulate, for upon my Horse we will suddenly arrive in Hispania, where thou shalt be kept as secure as Meddlers in Hay. So the Séer Scoto caused the Dwarf to be highly feasted, setting before him Ma●ar●●es and Hippocrisse; So on the morrow they went towards their journey, but mark what sokewa●, ●aving thus ordered his affairs, he came in the dead than of the Night unto the Tent where Scoto say, crying out so loud to him that he awoke him; Sir quoth he, little appeareth in you the love of your safety, seeing that for it you are unwilling to break your sleep. Whereunto the Seer replied, Thou hast done well to awaken me, for I was even now in a most fearful Dream; Me thought a Crow did bear me swiftly through the Air, and as she was flying away with me, another great ●ird met me, and struck so hard at me, that the blood issued out in great abundance; now this Dream maketh me to fear that the Christians have some Intelligence of my Designs. Away quoth the Dwarf with this Childish fear, will you for this neglect the love of your own life? By Mahomet quoth the Séer, thou sayest the truth. Then the Dwarf took the Séer behind him upon his Wooden Horse, and turning the Pin, the Horse rose up into the Air so swiftly, that in a little space they were come to the City of Londinum. The Séer perceiving the Horse to fray, said thus unto him, Friend are we at our journey's end. Yea said the Dwarf, and fear nothing. By Mahomet quoth the Séer, the Devil hath born us hither very quickly. So he brought him into a great Hal●, which belonged unto the Palace of the King of Britain, and bid him enter thereinto, and so he entered therein. Now when the Christians heard that Scoto the Necromancer was in the great Hall, they came into the Hall where Scoto sat. Then Scoto perceiving himself betrayed, would have crept into an Augur hole, but they would not let him, and then he cried out with a loud voice, Thou false Traitor quoth he to my person, I vow to be revenged of thee for this Fact; and know this right well, that I never Died yet in any man's Debt to whom I ought a mischief; therefore assure thyself, that if ever I come again to be one of the Forty Tyrants, I will remember thy Box at Christmas, nay though I stay till Easter I care not much. Then the Dwarf told the Christian Knights, that if this right Diabolical Necromancer did escape them this time, a world of miseries might ensue thereon. Whereupon they incontinently took him, and hanged him up with a new Rope, upon the highest Pinnacle of the Palace, in the sight of many Saracens that came to view and behold his fatal end.   

CHAP. XI. How the Giant Husonio went and built him a Castle in the Air, intending to live a private life; and how Sir Boreas quarrelled with him; and how he thought to have affrighted Sir Boreas, and what happened thereupon.  
THE Giant Husonio having met with many misfortunes, as I told you before, or whether I did or no 'tis no great matter; he resolved upon a very strange adventure, as you shall hear anon. Most miraculous it is quoth he, that I can live no where in quiet for these same Christians; However if I cannot live quiet upon the Earth, by Mohomet I will live quiet in the Air, and there I will build me a Castle. How, in the Air, quo his Dwarf, that is impossible. Slave, quoth the Giant, thou liest; For dost thou not see how our God Mahomet lives in the Air? even so will I live there also; For why may not I live in the Air that am a Giant, as well as a little Sparrow that I can crush to pieces between my thumb and my fore finger. The Dwarf then s●eing him begin for to wax wroth; nay Sir quoth h●, i● you are resolved to live in the Air, you shall live in the Air. B●ing thus recon●●'d, the Giant went on with his Project; Quoth the Giant then to himself, what is there that will abide in the Air? Feathers most certainly! Why then suppose I should compose this Castle of Feathers▪ certes it would be right easy, but very light, the better for that, and the wind should blow me up and down like the down of a This●ie. With that the Giant so fled to himself, as jupiter smiled, when he Cuckolded Amphi●ryo, for he was right well pleased to think how he should dayce in the Air. Nay b●t quo his Dwarf, though Feathers be light, yet thou art right ponderous, and it is against the Rules of Philosophy, for heavy things to maunt up; With that the Giant rafled against Philosophy, like a Tankard-bearer, for three hours together, and would presently have armed himself, upon an adventure which was to knock all the Philosophers in the world o'th' head; But his Dwarf, less in bulk but larger in wit, told him that the building of his Castle would be of far greater concernment, than the kill Philosophers: Then quoth the Giant, as concerning this Castle, for I would fain have this Castle built, and built in the Air. And when that he had vented his mind in such ●ise▪ he went into the North, & cut a Rock o● Adamart all into shivers; they say that if ● is Dwarf had not pulled him by the elbow, he would have cut the said Rock as small as herbs to the Pot, for that when he was hewing, he never considered what he did; Then he bethought himself▪ how that the nature of the Loadstone was to cleave to the North-Pole, as close as he was wont to s●ick unto his fair Leman; So than quoth he, if I can but make a Castle of this Loadstone, and fix it thereon, the Devil himself can never remove it. So he made him a Castle of the pieces of Loadstone which he had hewed out of the Rock, and when he had done, he fastened several Rings of Iron unto the sides thereof; Then he tossed it up with a vengeance, and wished it good luck, ●or quoth he, the Devil is in it, if the top of the Pole do not catch hold of some one or other of the Rings which I have made on the sides, as in sooth it happened. Now when it was fast, he bid his Dwarf to a fast about his middle, and then he gave a jump, and leaped in at one of the windows. Now when this Castle was thus hang by Geometry, it seemed unto the Samoedes, and People of Groynlands, as a Uinegar-Bottle upon the Top of Sali●bury S●ire. And when it was dark, that the Giant lighted Cu●dles they took it for they 〈◊〉 not with at themselves, for they never dreamed that it was a Castle in the Air. Now when Sr. Boreas saw this strange thing he was astonished, and h● whist●●● so ●ou● that he awoke the Giant: so he looked out at the window, with his night Cap on, and asked Sr. Boreas why he whistled so loud; I will whistle yet louder quoth Sr. Boreas and with that he whistled so furiously, that the Giant Husonio was tor●ed to pull in his Ears▪ Then the Giant was tied grievously ●ag●d and went and struck fire, and lighted a Torch, and caused his Dwarf to ●rick it in his Tail, and so he went backward, with ●is Head between his Legs, to meet Sr. Boreas, as the Fellow went to fright t●e Tanner's D●st. But Sr. Bo●eas was a right hardy Knight, and teared him no more than if he had been an ordinary man; for he presently blew out the Giant's Torch, and then gave him such a blow on the bare flesh, that he struck him back again into his Castle over the, ●all. Now the Giant though himself s●●e; But Sr. Bo●eas sworn his Castle should not hang there; so he cut the Ring by which it was held, and rubbed the North Pole with Garlic, which caused it to lose its Magnetic force; And so the Castle, with the Giant, and his Dwarf, fell into the bottomless Pit.   

CHAP. XII. How the Knight of the Lions cast himself headlong from the top of a Tower, and broke his neck; And of the several misfortunes that befell the Forty Tyrants; And of several other delectable passages, and so good buy to ye,  
NOW you must know that the Knight of the Lions, before he executed the fatal Tragedy which he intended, made a speech but t●at speech is lost, for f●●● the Records thereof are not to be found. But 〈…〉, that th●t very Evening he abandoned the sight of all Company, and repaired to the top of an hi●h ●o●er the which it was built all of Marble, wherein he ●a●e ● himself so ●ast wit● Iron bolts, that none could 〈…〉 h●a●i●g of his lamentations. Then ra●●d he up and down like fratrick Oedipus, tearing his ●●es from their natural C●●●s▪ accusing the Heavens of Injustice con●●●i●● the Earth of Iniquity, & cursing man, because he could not h● Knight o● th● Lions s●ill: Another while ●e wis●ed that some unlucky Planet would desead from the Firmament, & fall upon his miserable Head. B●ing ●t ●t is extreme despair, because he was put away from the Castle of the Lions, he never hoped to return thither again; And so about midnight, being a time when desperate men practise their own destructions, he cast himself headlong from the top of the Tower, and broke his Neck, and all besprinkled the flinty pavements with his Blood and Brains.  
Then was Sr. Haringtonius, Knight of the Rota, also in deep distress, for he fled from the fury of the Christians, as Dust flies before a Whirlwind; And he cried out, Oh ye fatal Torches of the Elements, why are you not clad in mournful Habiliments, to cloak my wandering steps in eternal darkness? More he would have said, but that a certain salt Rheum sell upon his Lungs, which caused him to have a very great Burr in his Throat, so that thereupon he was in wonderful despair; Now as he was in despair so was he in Arabia likewise, and being in both together, a most desperate whimsy came into his head; Wherefore he got to himself Odours and Spices of sundry kinds, as also the odoriferous branches of Lignum Rhodium, and several other sweet woods; And when he had piled them in a heap together, he put thereunto fire, and then threw himself into the flames; for that it is said, he had long before resolved, if misfortunes came thick upon him, to die like a Phoenix: For that the Knight of the Lions was always accounted a Phoenix; Now if he were a Phoenix, than men said true, but if he were not a Phoenix, than men did not say true.  
But as for Sr. Ludlojus, the Knight of the Green powdering Tub, though he did not die, yet there be●el him an Accident, quite contrary to that of the Knight of the Lions. For when he came to the Enchanted Castle of Parismus, he demanded entrance right boldly. But the Giant Parismus had made his House o● Office, just before his Castle gate, so that if Knights were not very wary, they fell thereinto up to the Hea● and Ears, as it happened to Sr. Ludlojus, so that he came to be in the strangest pickle that ever Knight was in. Now you must know, that by the Knights falling into the Privy, the Enchantments of Parismus were dissolved, as it hath many times happened in story; So that the fair Maid of Wimbleton, being now freed from the bondage she was in, came forth, and scraped Sr. Ludlojus so clean, that he smelled as sweet as a Razor. Then she and the Knight departed together, but whither, or what became of them after, I here of no Body that kenneth.  
The Seer Feko hearing of these things, was sorely grieved; so he told the Emperor, who was cleped Prester-John, that if he would protect him in his Dominions, he would Convert all his People to the true Faith; What is that quoth the Emperor? The Seer replied, that there was required a multitude of words to declare what the true Faith was; So he began a long speech; But when the Emperor heard him talk in his proper phrases, telling him of Rolling upon the Promises, Quickening of the Spirit, Subduing the Outward Man, and the like; it is said that the Emperor's hair stood an end, for that he thought he had been Conjuring; And he called for his Guard, and caused them to put him out of his Court; Now being thus put out, he departed into the Land of Mesopotamia, which borders upon the Red Sea. But if you would know what is become of the Seer Rogero, who was the intimate Companion of the Seer Feko, I must tell you, that he is now practising the noble Science of Corn cutting, in the Kingdom of Kathaia.  
I must also inform you, that many of the Forty Tyran●s, falling into the hands of the Christians, were hanged, which was the chiefest occasion that we can here of that they lived no longer. So that it is not fitting that we should take notice of the Dead, because that after their deaths, they never did any thing Considerable Only it is said that Sr. Harrymartino, the Knight of the Turpentine Pill, begged and entreated hard ●●r his lif●, offering both his Testicles for the Redemption of his Neck; But Dame Waradina would by no means let him a●ter his property, willing he he should be hanged, rather than disable himself for her service; and so being hanged amongst the rest, he took his leave of this World; but whether he cha●ged this Li●● for a better, He himself b●●t 〈◊〉.  
〈◊〉 quoth Sr. Wallopius, and ha●● t●e L●●al Knight dissolved the Charms of 〈…〉 cer: Most certainly replied Sr. 〈…〉 cleped the Slovenly Knight. 〈…〉 of us▪ quoth Sr. Wallopius. So ●h●y w●●t ●●to a certain Necromancer, and he made 〈…〉 Lamb, which was enchanted by Magic Art. No● this Sepulchre was encompassed about with a Wall of Iron▪ ●o when this Monument was framed by Art, Sr. Wallopius, and Sr. Munsonius, caused themselves to be enclosed therein; where we shall leave them Conversing with Furies, walking Spirits, and black pots of 〈◊〉; according to the Tenor of a certain Prophecy, foretold some Ages agone.   
FINIS.