More last Words and Say of the True Protestant Elm-Board: or, a full Answer to a late pretended Sober Vindication of the Dr. and the Board.  
I Am something amazed that the Vindicator should call my harmless Discourse a Profane Pasquil; for I would have him to know that he has little reason to stigmatize so innocent a Paper with so odious an Epithet, unless it is because F. should _____ s name is to it; but he that will call him a Patron of Wit and Criticism, or magnify the Doctor's Loyalty to his Prince, and Fidelity to his Master, will call any thing a Profane Pasquil.  
As for his second Paragraph, there are almost as many contradictions in it, as there are in Oates' Narrative; for he says that the Board is yet living, and at the same time that it was never born. Let the mercenary Inhabitants of Kent-street Fib and Swear on, for one day truth and reason will rise up in judgement against them. Besides, Mr. Vindicator, by my truly your love is a million, for I can produce a company of good substantial Cripples and Broom-men, that can prove the Board to be as dead as a Herting, or rather a door-Nail; although it's confessed that the Ghost of the Board has been seen to walk, and it is generally believed, that it has hid some Shave thereabouts. As for the nativity of the Board, that is undeniable, for Gadbury has cast it; and whosoever says, that it was not a Dresser-Board in the Kitchen of Sh. B _____ l, must have this suspicion, that Sh. B _____ l never had a Dresser-Board nor a Kitchen: so that it is evident that the Board was born, and is now as dead as Beddingfield the Jesuit, although Sir W. W. (so eminent for burning Mother Louse instead of the Virgin Mary) caught him plotting above ground after he was buried.  
In the third Paragraph of his Vindication, he says I term the Dr. a Reverend Scot, for which I beg his pardon; for I will never do so any more: but he proceeds and affirms positively, that the Dr. does never disturb the sick, but rather makes them merry and jocose. Now certainly this is a very great disturbance, to make men laugh and giggle, that should be thoughtful and serious. Nor is his Vindication of Dr. T. O. less nonsensical and impertinent; for he that will Testify through a Keyhole, will Swear through an Inch-board. I'll be judged by the Dr. himself else.  
But is it so ridiculous an action for the Dr. to kiss a Board? I am sure it had been letter for him if he had married one. As for his sitting down upon him without a Cushion, he does the same thing every night upon as hard a Board, at the Nags-head-Club. As for the Gentleman that loves Custard, let me tell you he deserves to have it thrown into his Face, for telling so impudent an untruth; for Elk. Settle that loves Custard as well as himself, can testify, that the rest of the last words and say of the Protestant Elm Board were these; for he took the Dr. by the hand, and said, Draw near and comfort me, for I have been a very sinful Board.  Dr. 
Here is a Book that I have written, The whole duty of Board's, read that, for it will instruct and edify you.  Board. 
Ah Doctor, I am sorry that I must die before the times turn.  Dr. 
Come, come, cheer up, you may live till to morrow, and I hope they will turn before that time: However let this be your comfort, that you are going to meet St. College.  Board. 
Wither I hope you will all follow me.  Dr. 
Farewell then, for I must go to the Nags-head-Club.  Board. 
Pray Dr. stay a little longer.  Dr. 
I cannot in truth, for delays are dangerous: ud's me, they will score me up many bumpers.  
The Board was something troubled that the Dr. should make such haste away, but considering it was to carry on the good Old Cause, it was contented and satisfied, and desired to be remembered kindly to Sir Thomas Creswel, Sh. Sh. Pilk. and Tho. Fir. cum ●ultis aliis.  
Now let the world judge whether or no I have imposed upon them, or wrested the prose and meaning of the last words and say of the Protestant Elm-Board: for I protest I am so much a hater of false History, that rather than I would be thought one, would gladly suffer red hot Iron with the Board.   

Printed for S. HADWEL. 1682.