A Most Cruel and Terrible ENGAGEMENT Between the CONFEDERATES of the Upper and Lower ALSATIAS, The Palatinate of Dorset-Gardinia: WITH The Confines, and Territories of Shark-Island, and the Scandalous Sanctuary, on the one side, and the Posse Com. Luxemburgians, and Tory-Drivers on the other.  
THE Quarrel, for it is fit you should know how they fell out, arose from hence, That John Dutton, living at the Sign of the Sugar-Loaf, within Temple-Bar, a mortal Enemy to Shark-Island, lays claim to a certain Castle in the Upper-Alsatia, in the Possession of George, a Blind-Bear, and Ursula his Wife, of the Race of the Dragonesses; which Castle formerly known by the Sign of the Bulls-Head in whitefriars, now altered to the Sign of the Bear, deriving its new Name, from the Name of the Beast that lives within. This Castle Dutton had purchased of a Cruel Landlady, to whom he paid 150 l. Fine, and 63 l. a Year; all which Rack-Rent he paid for some time, all but 3 l. per Annum, and then let the whole remaining Term of this Lease to the Bear, for 69 l. per Annum, but to encourage him to pay the Rent Quarterly, and without trouble, the said Dutton obliged himself, under his Hand and Seal, to abate 9 l. per Annum, provided the Rent were paid duly, and justly within Fourteen Days after every Quarter. But these Kindnesses did not satisfy the Bear, unless he might have the Castle for nothing: So that he was run in Arrears by last Christmas, after all Receipts and Taxes allowed, Besides the Charge of a former Distress  57 05 04  14 18 0 In all 72 05 04 Which is now due to Dutton, not reckoning in this last Lady's Quarter, which is near expired, which comes to  17 05 00  72 5 04 Total 89 10 4 Now to satisfy Dutton, there is nothing left but the Goods, which are Appraised at 45 5 0 So that Dutton is like to get over the left Shoulder, or according to the Phrase of Alsatia, to be Bobbed of 44 5 4  
This being the Truth and nothing but the Truth, I Appeal to all the World, except the Alsatians and Shark Islanders, themselves, whether their Alsatians and Shark-Islanders are not a Company of Canary Birds, to Protect this Bear from the Justice of the Luxemburgians. I would therefore have 'em to call a Geneeal Council of their Members of a Pack-Thread Crew, and advise with their Allies in the Mint-Land, by whom it was Enacted at a General Diet of the Confederates, that what Goods were brought in should not be Parted with, but upon very good Terms; but that what was Contracted within for Rent, or otherwise within should be paid upon pain of Exclusion, or Hanging if able. This looked like something of Justice, without which there could be no subsisting among Thiefs and Pick-Pockets, and therefore renders the Shark Islanders the more inexcusible.  
Well then the Quarrel being thus begun, Dutton Declared Open War against the Bear and Ursula his Wife. Upon which the Bear set forth a Manifesto, wherein he Alleged, that the Potentates of the Posse Com. were not to Assist Dutton because he is a Roman Catholic. To which Dutton applied in a Declaration, that so long as he Lived Civilly under the Government, his Religion was no Argument, why he should not have his Right and Due. Thereupon Dutton having got the Posse Com. to Muster together, resolved ●o make an Incursion into the Upper Alsatia, and Land in Shark Island. But first Dutton sent a Summons to the Bear, to Surrender the Remainder of his Money. To which Ursula the she Bear replied, that she had a Bill wherewith to Pay what Money was behind beginning, Itum six Pound for Building a Shop for a Barber, tho' the whole Charge of that Shop was but Forty Shillings, and that still unpaid too; by which it was apparent, how Dutton was like to be satisfied. So that Dutoon seeing there was no good to be done by fair means, drew up his Men, and gave the Signal of Batteel. Nor did the Rapparees forbear to make a stout Resistance at first, insomuch that Dutton being somewhat of the forwardest to encourage his Men, received a slight Shot in his Right Breast; for which the Rapparees being seized by the Luxemburgians, Revolted to the Posse Com. and so saved his being taken Prisoner. Upon this the Shark-Islanders gave Ground, and the Pass Com. Led on by their Commander in Chief, March forward and Pursued the Enemy to the Pallatinate of Dorset Gardinia, where the Shark-Islanders being Reinforced with a good number of Lower Alsatians; and second by some Old Entrenchments, Faced about, and began to Parley with the Commander in Chief of the Posse Com. and boldly demanded of him his business: who bid them forthwith to lay down their Arms, or else they must expect no Quarter. They answered Peremptorily, that if he came to take away any of their Subjects they would Die upon the Spot, before they would part with them; and as for Dutton's Goods, he was a Papist, and therefore they hoped his Worship would not Assist him, but let them have his Goods to add to their Treasure which was so much Exhausted by the frequent Alarms of Justice, besides that their Number was much di●●ished, by Hanging and Transportation.  
They had also some particular Complaints against Dutton himself: For that when he was Constable about Six or Seven Years ago, he had put the Laws in execution; as well against many of their Foreign Benefactors, as Inland Traders; that is to say, their Sweetners, Traps, Decon Drawers, Divers, Buttocks, Files, Country Bess, and Farmer's Wife, etc. and for that he had carried several of their best Benefactors to the Counters, and Newgate, that their best Nurseries, called Bawdy-houses, and Receivers of Stolen Goods, could not rest for him, though they had offered to spend Money at his House, and tempted him with Presents of Rings, Money, and Watches, to wink at small Faults, but nothing would do; for he cried still, he could not break his Constable's Oath; So much was he wedded to that same Folly called Honesty. That his Successors were not of his Opinion, but let 'em do what they listed; the one a famous Drunken House-Painter, the other a Milksop, a Penny Custard-Maker, who to his Praise be it spoken, when the Posse Com. appeared, always played, Lest in Signt.  
The Commander in Chief, having heard their Remonstrances, advised 'em to be obedient, and submit to the Laws, and so went on with his business, ordering Dutton to hasten his Workmen; who did as he was ordered, not with standing the loud Complaints of Ursula, and her two Friends; one discreet Lawyer, the other a Dissembling Mahometan, who cried out of Dutton's hard Usage of her Husband, & fain would have persuaded the Posse Com. Luxemburgians that what Dutton their Landlord did, was only because her Husband was a Protestant, only by which means, they thought to have got clear of their Landlord: But this Plot not taking, they were forced to let go the Goods quietly. Nevertheless, Dutton was so kind, and far more compassionate to them than they would have been to him, so that he left the Bear, and Ursula his Wife, their own Bedchamber furnished. And they that know the Temper of the Beast, well know, that he loves his ease too well, to lie upon the worst Bed.  
Thus the Alsatians, and Shark Islanders, being utterly defeated, the Commander in Chief of the Posse Com. sounded a Retreat, and Dutton carried off his Bag and Baggage.  
I could enlarge much more upon this Subject, but I shall end with a seasonable use of Exhortation to these same Lawless Inhabitants of both the Alsattan's, and Sharks Islanders; Not to to urge Dutton the Landlord too far, for fear he should be the occasion of Breaking their Pretended Privileges: For they very well know how I dealt with Morgan ap Morgan, who set up the whitefriars, thinking to out-hector me with his Bullies, and the most resolute of all the Pestilent Gang: But I Dissolved 'em, broke the Knot, Disarmed, and Levelled 'em in two or three Sessions.  
They know that I know the Place full well, as having lived Twelve Years among them, and have had several that are Landlords in the Place, to know of me what Methods I took; and I tell 'em, Knaves must be dealt with like Knaves.  
Moreover, I advise two Men of whitefriars, to keep a Good Tongue in their Heads: The one is Captain W—ter, a Famous Champion upon Record, for appearing in Routs and Riots; the other, Honest Drunken Captain G—den, who says, Dutton was a Papist, in one King's Reign, but now goes to Church to save his Bacon; which Dutton denys. And there is one of the Learned Men of the Law among them, can testify, That Dutton paid him a Bill for appearing for him, and making his defence against one Loin, or Lole an Informer. And therefore John Dutton owns himself to be a Roman Catholic, as he ever was, and his Father before him, though very much to his Damage, and Prejudice. So Farewell till the next Occasion.   

LONDON, Printed in the Year, 1691.