THE LIEE and DEATH OF Doctor Faustus, Made into a FARCE. By Mr. MOUNTFORD. WITH THE Humours of Harlequin and Scaramouche: As they were several times Acted By Mr. LEE and Mr. JEVON, AT THE Queen's Theatre in Dorset Garden. Newly Revived, At the Theatre in Lincoln's Inn Fields, With Songs and Dances between the ACTS. LONDON, Printed and sold by E. Whitlock near Stationer's Hall, 1697, Price 6 d. The Life and Death of Dr. FAUSTUS. ACT I. SCENE I. Dr. Faustus seated in his Chair, and reading in his Study. Good and bad Angel ready. Faust. SEttle thy Study, Faustus, and begin To sound the Depth of that thou wilt profess; These Metaphysics of Magicians, And Necromantic Books, are heavenly Lines, Circles, Letters, Characters, Ay, these are those that Faustus most desires; A sound Magician is a Demi-God: Here tire my Brains to get a Deity. Mephostopholis under the Stage. A good and bad Angel fly down. Good Ang. O Faustus I lay that damned Book aside; And gaze not on it, lest it tempt thy heart to blasphemy. Bad Ang. Go forward, Faustus, in that famous Art Wherein all Nature's Treasure is contained: Be thou on Earth as jove is in the Sky, Lord and Commander of these Elements. Spirits ascend. Faust. How am I glutted with conceit of this? Shall I make Spirits fetch me what I please? I'll have 'em fly to India for Gold, Ransack the Ocean for Orient Pearl. I'll have 'em Wall all Germany with Brass; I'll levy Soldiers with the Coin they bring, And chase the Prince of Parma from our Land. [Rises. 'Tis now the Dead high Noon of Night, And Lucifer his Spirit's freedom gives; I'll try if in this Circle I can Raise A Daemon to inform me what I long for. Sint mihi Dii Acherontis propitii, Orientis Princeps, Beelzebub, German. Demogorgon. Mephostopholis, Mephostopholis, surgat Spiritus. [Thunders. Mephostopholis Speaks under Ground. [Thunders. Meph. Faustus, I attend thy Will. Faust. Where are thou? Meph. Here. [a Flash of Light. Scar. within. Oh, oh, oh. Faust. What Noise is that? Hast thou any Companions with thee? Meph. No. Faust. It comes this way? Scar. Oh, oh, O— [Enter Scaramouche. Faust. What ail'st thou? Scar. O' o' o' Faust. Speak, Fellow, what's the Matter? Scar. O Poor Scaramouche l' Faust. Speak, I conjure thee; or Acherontis Dii Demogorgon.— Scar. O I beseech you Conjure no more, for I am frighted into a Diabetes already. Faust. Frighted at what? Scar. I have seen, Oh, oh— Faust. What? Scar. The Devil. Faust. Art sure it was the Devil? Scar. The Devil, or the Devil's Companion: He had a Head like a Bulls, with Horns on; and two Eyes that glowed like the Balls of a dark Lantern: His Hair stood a Tiptoe, like your new-fashioned Top-knots; with a Mouth as large as a King's Beef Eater: His Nails was as sharp as a Welch-man's in Passion; and he looked as frightful as a Sergeant to an Alsatian. Faust. But why art thou afraid of the Devil? Scar. Why I never said my Prayers in all my Life, but once; and that was when my damned Wife was sick, that she might die: My Ears are as deaf to good Council, as French Dragoons are to Mercy. And my Conscience wants as much sweeping as a Cook's Chimney. And I have as many Sins to answer for as a Churchwarden, or an Overseer of the Poor. Faust. Why, the Devil loves Sinners at his Heart. Scar. Does he so? Faust. He hates none, but the Virtuous, and the Godly. Such as Fast, and go to Church, and give Alms-deeds. Scar. I never saw a Church in my Life, thank God, (I mean the Devil;) and for Fasting, it was always my Abomination; and for Alms, I never gave any Thing in my Life, but the Itch once to a Pawn-broker. Therefore I hope he may Love me. Faust. And he shall Love thee; I'll bring thee acquainted with him. Scar. Acquainted with the Devil? Faust. Ay; Tanto metropontis Acherontis. Scar. Oh, oh, oh. Faust. Fear nothing Mephostopholis, be visible. [Scaramouche sinks behind the Doctor, and peeps his Head out behind the Slip of his Gown. A Devil rises in Thunder and Lightning. I charge thee to be gone, and change thy Shape; thou art too ugly to attend on me. I find there's Virtue in my Charm; Come, rise up, Fool, the Devil's gone. [The Devil sinks. Scar. The Devil go with him. Faust. Fear nothing, I command the Devil. If thou wilt leave thy Chimny-sweeping Trade, and live with me, thou shalt have Meat and Drink in Plenty; and 40 Crowns a Year shall be thy Wages; I'll make thou Learned in the black Art. Scar. I am a Student in that already: But let me consider, Good Meat and Drink, and 40 Crowns a Year. Then I'll change my black Art for yours. Faust. There's Earnest, thou art now my Servant; dispose of thy Brooms and Poles, they'll be useless to thee here; take this Key, go into my Study, and clean; take all the Books you find scattered about, and range 'em orderly upon the Shelves. Scar. Happy Scaramouche, now may'st thou Swear, Lie, Steal, Drink and Whore; for thy Master is the Devil's Master, and thou in time may'st master 'em both. [Exit Scaram. Enter Mephostopholis. Meph. Now, Faustus, what wouldst thou have with me? Faust. I charge thee wait upon me whilst I live, And do whatever Faustus shall command. Meph. Ay Faustus, so I will, if thou wilt purchase me of Lucifer. Faust. What says Lucifer, thy Lord? Meph. That I shall wait on Faustus whilst he Lives, So thou wilt buy my Service with thy Blood. Faust. Already Faustus has hazarded that for thee. Meph. Ay, but thou must bequeath it solemnly, And write a Deed of Gift with it; For that Security craves Lucifer. If thou deny it, I must back to Hell. Bad Ang. But Faustus, if I shall have thy Soul, I'll be thy Slave, and worship thy Commands, And give thee more than thou hast Will of. Faust. If he will spare me Four and twenty Years, Letting me Live in all Voluptuousness, To have thee ever to attend on me, To give me whatsoever I shall ask, And tell me whatsoever I demand; On these Conditions I resign it to him. Meph. Then, Faustus, stab thy Arm courageously, And bind thy Soul, that at some certain Day Great Lucifer may claim it as his own; And then be thou as Great as Lucifer. Faust. Lo, Mephostopholis, for Love of thee, Faustus has cut His Arm, and with his proper Blood Assures his Soul to be great Lucifers. Meph. But, Faustus, write it in manner of a Deed, and Gift. Faust. Ay, so I do; but, Mephostopholis, my Blood congeals, and I can write no more. Meph. I'll fetch thee Fire to dissolve it straight. [Exit. Faust. What might the staying of my Blood portend, It is unwilling I should write this Bill. Good and bad Angel descend. Good An. Yet, Faustus, think upon thy precious Soul. Bad An. No, Faustus, think of Honour, and of Wealth. Faust. Of Wealth. Why all the Indies, Ganges, shall be mine. Good An. No, Faustus, everlasting Tortures shall be thine. Bad An. No, Faustus, everlasting Glory shall be thine. The World shall raise a Statue of thy Name, And on it write, This, this is he that could command the World. [Good Angel ascends, bad Angel descends. Faust. Command the World; Ay, Faustus, think on that. Why streams not then my Blood that I may write? Faustus gives to thee his Soul; Oh! there it stops. Why shouldst thou not? Is not thy Soul thy own? Enter Mephostopholis with a Chafer of Fire. Meph. See, Faustus, here is Fire, set it on. Faust. So now the Blood begins to clear again. Meph. What is't I would not do to obtain his Soul? Faust. Consummatum ect; the Bill is ended. But what is this Inscription on my Arm? Homo fuge: Whether shall I fly? My Senses are deceived, here's nothing writ; O yes, I see it plain, even here is writ. Homo fuge: yet shall not Faustus sly I'll call up something to delight his Mind. [Song. Mephostopholis waves his Wand. Enter several Devils, who present Crowns to Faustus, and after a Dance vanish. Faust. What means this then? Meph. 'Tis to delight thy Mind, and let thee see What Magic can perform. Faust. And may I raise such Spirits when I please. Meph. Ay, Faustus, and do greater Things than these. Faust. Then, Mephostopholis, receive this Deed of Gift; But yet Conditionally, that thou perform all Covenants and Articles herein subscribed. Meph. I swear by Hell, and Lucifer, to effect all Promises between us both. Faust. Then take it. Meph. Do you deliver it as your Deed, and Gift? Faust. Ay, and the Devil do you good on't. Meph. So, now, Faustus, ask what thou wilt. Faust. Then let me have a Wife. Faustus' waves his Wand, and a Woman Devil rises: Fireworks about whirls round, and sinks. Faust. What sight is this? Meph. Now, Faustus, wilt thou have a Wife? Faust. Here's a hot Whore indeed, I'll have no Wife. Meph. Marriage is but a Ceremonial Toy; I'll cull thee out the fairest Courtesans, And bring 'em every Morning to thy Bed: She whom thy Eye shall like, thy Heart shall have. Faust. Then, Mephostopholis, let me behold the Famous Helen, who was the Occasion of great Troy's Destruction. Meph. Faustus, thou shalt. [Waves his Wand, enters. Faust. O Mephostopholis! what would I give to gain a Kiss from off those lovely Lips. Meph. Faustus, thou may'st. [He kisses her. Faust. My Soul is fled; come Helen, come, give me my Soul again; she's gone. [He goes to kiss her again, and she sinks. Meph. Women are shy you know at the first Sight; but come, Faustus, command me somewhat else. Faust. Then tell me, is Hell so terrible as Churchmen write it. Meph. No, Faustus, 'tis Glorious as the upper World; but that we have Night and Day, as you have here: Above there's no Night. Faust. Why sighs my Mephostopholis, I think Hell's a mere Fable. Meph. Ay, think so still. Faust. Tell me who made the World? Meph. I will not. Faust. Sweet Mephos. Meph. Move me no further. Faust. Villain, have I not bound thee to tell me any Thing. Meph. That's not against our Kingdom, this is: Thou are Lost; think thou of Hell. Faust. Think, Faustus, upon him that made the World. Meph. Remember this. [Sinks. Faust. Ay, go accursed Spirit to ugly Hell, 'Tis thou hast damned distressed Faustus' Soul: I will Repent: Ha! [Goes to his Books. This Bible's fast, but here's another: [They both fly out of 's Hand, and a flaming Thing appears written, etc. Is't not too late? [Ring. Good and bad descend. Bad An. Too late. Good An. Never too late, if Faustus will repent. Bad An. Faustus, behold, behold thy Deed; if thou repent Devils will tear thee in Pieces. Good An. Repent, and they shall never raze thy Skin. [Scene sh●ts, Ang. ascends. Scene changes to the Street. Enter Harlequin. Harl. This must be Mr. Doctor's House; I'll make bold to knock: My Heart fails me already. [Harlequin opens the Door, peeps about, and shuts it. I begin to tremble at the Thoughts of seeing the Devil. [Knocks again. Here's a great Resort of Devils, the very Doors smell of Brimstone: I'll e'en back— No: I'll be a Man of Resolution: But if Mr. Doctor should send a Familiar to open the Door, in what Language should I speak to the Devil? [Knocks. Enter Scaramouche. Scar. peeping. This is some malicious Spirit, that will not let me alone at my Study; but I'll go in, and con my Book. [Exit. Harl. I believe Mr. Doctor is very Busy; but I'll rap this time with Authority. [Harlequin raps at the Door, Scaramouche peeps out. Harlequin strikes him, and jumps back, runs frighted off. Scene changes to a Room in the Doctor's House. Enter Scaramouche, with a Book in the Doctor's Gown. Scar. I have left the Door open to save the Devil the labour of Knocking, if he has a mind to come in: For I am resolved not to stir from my Book; I found it in the Doctor's Closet, and know it must contain something of the Black Art. Enter Harlequin. Harl. Oh here's Mr. Doctor himself; he's reading some conjuring Book. I'd fain jecit. Scar. This must be a conjuring Book by the hard Words. AB, EBB, IB, OB, UB. BASILIUS, BOY, BV, BY. Harl. It's Child's Primer. [Harlequin looks over him. Scar. The Devil, the Devil; be gone, avoid Satan. [Runs off. Harl. O the Devil! Now will I lie as if I were Dead, and let the Devil go hunt for my Soul. [Lies down. Enter Scaramouche. Scar. I have learned to raise the Devil, but how the Devil shall I do to lay him. Ha! what's here, a dead Body? The Devil assumed this Body, and when I began to mutter my Prayers, he was in such haste he left his Carcase behind him. Ha! it stirs; no, 'twas but my Fancy. [Scaram. lifts up all his Limbs, and lets 'em fall, whilst Harl. hits him on the Breech, lifts his Head, which falls gently. All's dead but's Head. [Sets him upright. The Devil, the Devil! Be gone; what art thou? Harl. A poor unfortunate Devil. Scar. The Devil; Avaunt than Hogon mogon strogon. Harl. O good Mr. Doctor, conjure up no more Devils and I'll be gone, or any thing.— I came only to ask your Black Artship a Question. Scar. No, this is not the Devil. Who are thou? Whence comest thou? What's thy Business, Quick, or Hogon strogon? Harl. Hold, hold, hold, I am poor Harlequin: By the Learned I am called Zane, by the Vulgar Jack Pudding, I was late Fool to a Mountebank; and last Night, in the mistaking the Pipkin, I eat up a Pot of Bolus instead of Hasty Pudding; and devoured Three Yards of Diaculum Plaster instead of Pancake, for which my Master has turned me out of Doors instead of Wages: Therefore, to be revenged, I come to hire a Devil or two of you, Mr. Doctor, of a strong Constitution, that may swallow up his Turpentine Pills as fast as he make 'em, that he may never cure poor Whore more of a Clap; and then he'll be undone, for they are his chief Patients. Scar. What Practice has he? Harl. Why his Business is to patch up rotten Whores against the Term for Country Lawyers, and Attorneys Clerks; and against Christmas, Easter and Whitsun Holidays, for City Apprentices; and if his Pills be destroyed, 'twill ruin him in one Term. Scar. Come in; and for a Crown a Week I'll let thee out a Devil, as they do Horses at Livery, shall swallow him a Peck of Pills a day, though every one were as big as a Pumpkin; and make nothing of a Bolus for a Breakfast. Harl. O brave Mr. Doctor! O dainty Mr. Devil! Scar. Seigniora. [Here they Compliment who shall go first. The End of the First Act. ACT II. Faustus in his Study. Good and Bad Angel descend. Good An. Faustus', Repent; yet Heaven will pity thee. Bad An. Thou art a Spirit, Heaven cannot pity thee. Fau. Who buzzes in my Ear, I am a Spirit; be I a Devil yet Heaven can pity me: Yea, Heaven will pity me, if I repent. Bad An. Ay, but Faustus never shall repent. Good An. Ay, Sweet Faustus think of Heaven, and heavenly Things. [Ascends. Fau. My Heart is hardened, I cannot repent. Scarce can I name Salvation, Faith, or Heaven, But I am pinched, and pricked, in thousand Places. O help distressed Faustus! Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Mephostopholis rises. Luc. Non● can afford thee help; for only I have Interest in thee, Faustus. Fau. Oh! What art thou, that looks so terrible? Luc. I am Lucifer, and this is my Companion Prince in Hell. Beel. We are come to tell thee thou dost injure us. Luc. Thou call'st on Heaven contrary to thy Promise. Beel. Thou shouldst not think on Heaven. Fau. Nor will I henceforth pardon him for this, And Faustus Vows never to look to Heaven. Beel. So shalt thou show thyself a faithful Servant, And we will highly gratify thee for it. Fau. Those Words delight my Soul. Luc. Faustus, we are come in Person to show thee Pass-time; sit down, and thou shalt behold the Seven Deadly Sins in their own proper Shapes and Likeness. Fau. That Sight will be as pleasant to my Eye, as Paradise to Adam the first Day of his Creation. Beel. Talk not of Paradise, but mind the Show. Go, Mephostopholis, and fetch 'em in; and, Faustus, question 'em their Names. Enter Pride. Fau. What art thou? Prid. I am Pride; I was begot by Disdain and Affectation, I always took the Wall of my Betters; had ever the first Cut, or else would not eat: I scorned all Advice, never thought any one handsome but myself; had the best Pew in the Church, though a Tradesman's Wife; and at last died of the Spleen, for want of a Coach and Six Horses. Why is not thy Room perfumed, and spread with Cloth of Tissue? What must you sit, and I stand? Rise up Brute. Fau. Go, thou art a proud Slut indeed. [Exit. Enter Covetousness. Now what art thou the Second. Cou. I am Covetousness; I was begot by a close Fist, and a griping Heart, in a Usurer's Chest I never eat, to save Charges: This Coat has covered me for Fourscore Winters: This Beard had seen as many more. I never slept in my Life, but always watched my Gold. Fau. What wert thou on Earth? Cou. I was first an Exciseman, and cheated the King and Country; then I was a Baker, and from every Neighbor's Loaf I stole Two Pound, and swore 'twas shrunk in the Oven. I was a Vintner, and by bribing of Quest men had leave to sell in Pint Bottles for Quarts: At last I was a Horse-courser, made Smithfield too hot to hold me, and rid Post to the Devil? Give me some Gold, Father? [Exit. Enter Envy. Fau. What art thou the Third? Enu. I am Envy; begot by a Chimny-sweeper upon an Oysterwench. I cannot read, and wish all Books burnt. I always cursed the Government that I was not preferred; and was a Malcontent in Three Kings Reigns. I am Lean with seeing others Eat; and I wish the Devil would make a Sponge of thy Heart, to wipe out the Score of my Sins. Enter Wrath. Fau. Out Envious Wretch. What art thou the Fourth? Wra. I am Wrath; I had neither Father nor Mother, but leapt out of a Lion's Mouth when I was scarce an Hour old. I always abhorred the Art of Patience, and cursed all Fishermen. I beat my Wife for my Pleasure; cursed Heaven in my Passion, 'cause it gave me no Fortune, and was hanged for a Rape on a Scotch Pedlar. [Exit. Enter Gluttony. Fau. What art thou the Fifth? Glut. I am Gluttony; begot by a Ploughman on a Washer-woman, who devoured a Chedder Cheese in two Hours. I am of a Royal Pedigree: My Grandfather was a Sur-loin of Beef, and my Mother a Gammon of Bacon: My Sisters were Sows, which supplied me with Pork: My Brothers were Calves, which afforded me Veal: My Godfathers were Peter Pickled-Herring, and Michael Milk-Porredg: My Godmothers were Susan Salt-butter, and Margery Sous'd-Hog'sFace. Now, Faustus, thou hast heard my Pedigree, wilt thou invite me to Supper? Fau. Not I Glut. Then the Devil choke thee. Enter Sloth. Fau. What art thou the Sixth? Slo. hay ho! I am Sloth; I was begotten at Church by a sleepy Judge on a Costermonger's Wife, in the middle of a long Sermon. I am as Lazy as a Fishmonger in the Dog-days, or a Parson in Lent: I would not speak another Word for a King's Ransom. Enter Lechery. Fau. And what are you, Mr. Minks, the Seventh and last? Leach. I am one that love an Inch of Raw Mutton better than an Ell of Fried Stockfish, and the first Letter of my Name begins with Lechery. [Exit. Fau. This Sight delights my Soul. Luc. Faustus, in Hell are all manner of Delights. Fau. O might I see Hell once, and return safe. Luc. Faustus, thou shalt; give me thy hand. Hence let's descend, and we will Faustus show The mighty Pleasures in the World below. [Vanishes. SCENE Changes. Enter Harlequin, and Scaramouche in the Doctor's Gown; a Wand, and a Circle. Scar. So, now am I in my Pontificalibus: Now can I show my Black Art; for I have found that heavenly Book which Faustus used to raise the Dead in: Come, stand within this Circle. Har. 'Tis time to Conjure, for I am almost famished. We have fasted like Priests for a Miracle. Scar. I'll make thee amends presently; I'll conjure up a Spirit, ask what thou wilt thou shalt have it. Har. Let me alone for asking. Scar. Be very earnest with him, and entreat mightily. Har. I'll entreat Earnestly. Scar. Silence. Sint mihi Dii Acherontis propitii Nobis Diccatus, Mephostopholis, etc. Mephostopholis rises. Meph. How am I tortured by these Villains Charms? From Constantinople have they brought me now, Only for Measure of these idle Slaves? What Would you with Mephostopholis? Scar. we'd know how Dr. Faustus does. Meph. Well. Scar. When comes he home? Meph. Within Two Days. Scar. What was he doing when you left him? Meph. He was at Supper, eating good Cheer. Har. Good Mr. Devil, tell him we are almost starved; and desire him to send us some of his good Cheer. Meph. Is that all? Har. Some Wine too? Meph. What else. Har. What else: Why if Fornication beened against your Commandments, we would have some live Flesh; a handsome Wench. Scar. Only for a third Person, and please your Damnation. Meph. You shall have your Desires. Har. We desire your Mephostopholiship too, not to let us stay the Roasting and Boiling of any thing: For we are as Eager as the Wine in Smithfield, and want no whetting. Meph. You shall. Scaramouche and Harlequin pull off their Caps. Now if your mighty Darkness would please to Retire. Meph. Farewell. [Vanish. Scaramouche steps out of the Circle, and struts about. Scar. Now how do you like my Art? Har. O rare Art! O divine Mr. Doctor Scaramouche! If the Devil be as good as his Word, I'll owe him a good Turn as long as I live: But I wish our third Person would come. A Giant rises. Ha! What's here? Gi. I am sent by Pluto to bear you Company. Har. Is this his third Person? Or is it Three Generations in One? Come you from Guildhall, Sir? Gi. No, Mortal, from the Stygian Lake. I am the Giant which St. George destroyed; and in the Earth have been decaying ever since, but now am come to Eat with you. Scar. To pick up your crumbs, Sir: You're heartily Welcome. Scaramouche gets upon Harlequin, and salutes him. Gi. I have lain now within the Stygian Lake 2000 Years. Scar. Your Honour is not much shrunk in the Wetting. Gi. But we loose Time, and Dinner cools. Har. Where is it? Gi. In the next Room. Scar. Will it please your Lustiness to lead the Way? Har. Will it please you then to make way for him? Gi. I can divide myself to serve my Friends? [Giant leaps in two. Breeches be you my Page, and follow me. Harleq. and Scaram. compliment the Breeches. [Exeunt. SCENE draws, and discovers a Table furnished with Bottles of Wine, and a Venison Pastry, a Pot of wild Fowl, etc. Enter Scaramouche, Giant, and Harlequin. Har. O heavenly Apparition! Scar. Come, let's sit down. The upper part of the Giant slies up, and the under sinks, and discovers a Woman in the Room. Harlequin and Scaramouche start. Scar. Ha! What's here, a Woman? Har. O happy Change! Madam, with your good Leave. [Kisses. Scar. Never too late in good Breeding. [Kisses.] Rare Wench! And us Luscious as Pig-sauce. Har. Heaven be praised for all. [Woman sinks, a Flash of Lightning. Scar. Your unseasonable Thankfulness has robbed us of our Strumpet. Har. No matter, no matter; we shall meet her in the Cloisters after the Fair. Come let's fall too. [They put their Caps before their Faces. Ha! Scar. The Table runs away from us. Har. We'll bestow the Pains to follow it again; this I see is a running Banquet. [They put their Caps on again, the Table removes. Scar. I have found the Secret: We must not say Grace at the Devil's Feast. Har. Come then let's fall too, San's Ceremony; Will you be Carver? Scar. Every one for himself, I say. Har. Ay, every one for himself, and God for us all. [Table flies up into the Air. Scar. A Plague o'your Proverb; it has a Word in't must not be named. Har. Ah, Mr. Doctor, do but entreat Mr. Mephostopholis to let the Table down to us, or send us tothat, and I'll he his Servant as long as I live. [They are hoist up to the Table. Scar. and Har. Oh, oh, oh. Scar. Now have a care of another Proverb: We go without our Supper. Har. Nay, now I know the Devil's Humour, I'll hit him to a Hair: Pray, Mr. Doctor, cut up that Pastry. Scar. I can't get my Knife into it, 'tis over-baked. Har. Ay, 'tis often so: God sends Meat, and the Devil sends Cooks. [Table flies down. Scar. Thou Varlet, dost thou see what thy Proverb has done? Har. Now could I curse my Grandmother, for she taught 'em me: Well, if sweet Mephostopholis will be so kind as but to let us and the Table come together again, I'll promise never to say Grace, or speak Proverb more, as long as I live. [They are let down to the Table. Scar. Your Prayers are heard, now be careful; for if I lose my Supper by thy Negligence I'll cut thy Throat. Har. Do, and eat me when you have done. I am damnably hungry; I'll cut open this Pastry, while you open that Pot of wild Fowl. [Harlequin takes off the Lid of the Pastry, and a Stag's Head peeps out; and out of the Pot of Fowl flies Birds. Harlequin and Scaramouche start back, fall over their Chairs, and get up. Har. Here's the Nest but the Birds are flown: Here's Wine though, and now I'll conjure for a Supper. I have a Salad within of my own Garhering in the Fields to Day. Scar. Fetch it in; Bread, Wine, and a Salad, may serve for a Collation. Enter Harlequin with a trey of Salad. Har. Come, no Ceremony among Friends. Bon. fro. Scar. Salad mal adjuste; here's neither Fat nor Lean. Har. O Mr. Doctor, neither Fat nor Lean in a Salad. Scar. Neither Oil, nor Vinegar. Har. Oh! I'll fetch you that presently. [Harlequin fetches a Chamber-pot of Piss, and a Lamp of oil, and pours on the Salad. Scar. O thy Salad is nothing but Thistles and Nettles; and thy Oil stinks worse than Arsefetito. Har. Bread and Wine be our Fare. Ha! the Bread's alive. [Bread stirs. Scar. Or the Devil's in't. hay! again. Bread sinks. Har. My Belly's as empty as a Beggar's Purse. Scar. And mine as full of Wind as a Trumpeter's Cheeks. [Table sinks, and Flash of Lightning. But since we can't Eat, let's Drink: Come, here's Dr. Faustus' Health. Har. Ay, come; God bless Dr. Faustus. [Bottles fly up, and the Table sinks. Scar. What all gone: Here's a Banquet stole away like a City Feast. [Music. Har. Ha! here's Music to delight us. [Two Chairs rises. Harlequin and Scaramouche sits down, and are caught fast. Scar. Ha! the Devil. We are locked in. Har. As fast as a Counter Rat. Enter several Devils, who black Harlequin and Scaramouche's Faces, and then squirt Milk upon them. After the Dance they both sink. Scar. and Har. O o, o'—. The End of the Second Act. ACT III. SCENE a Wood Mephostopholis and Dr. Faustus. Faust. HOW have I been delighted by thy Art; and in Twelve Years have seen the utmost Limits of the spacious World; seasted myself with all Varieties; pleasured my Fancy with my Magic Art, and lived sole Lord o'er every Thing I wished for. Meph. Ay, Faustus, is it not a splendid Life? Faust. It is my Spirit; but prithee now retire, while I repose myself within this Shade, and when I wake attend on me again. Meph. Faust, I will. [Exit. Faust. What art thou, Faustus, but a Man condemned. Thy Lease of Years expire apace; and, Faustus, than thou must be Lucifer's: Here rest my Soul, and in my Sleep my future State be buried. Good and bad Angel descends. Good An. Faustus, sweet Faustus, yet remember Heaven. Oh! think upon the everlasting Pain thou must endure, For all thy short Space of Pleasure. Bad An. Illusions, Fancies, Faustus; think of Earth. The Kings thou shalt command: The Pleasutes Rule. Be, Faustus, not a whining, pious Fool. [Ascend. Enter Horse-courser. Hors. Oh! what a cozening Doctor was this: I riding my Horse into the Water, thinking some hidden mystery had been in 'em, found myself on a Bundle of Straw, and was dragged by Something in the Water, like a Bailiff through a Horse-pond. Ha! he's a Sleep: So ho, Mr. Doctor, so ho. Why Doctor, you cozening, wheedling, hypocritical, cheating, choosing, Son of a Whore; awake, rise, and give me my Money again, for your Horse is turned into a Bottle of Hay. Why Sirrah, Doctor; 's●oot I think he's dead. Why Doctor Scab; you mangy Dog. [pulls him by the Leg.] 'Zounds I'm undone, I have pulled his Leg off. Faust. O help! the Villain has undone me; Murder. Hors. Murder, or not Murder, now he has but one Leg I'll outrun him. [Exit. Faust. Stop, stop him; ha, ha, ha, Faustus has his Leg again, and the Horse-courser a Bundle of Have for his Forty Dollars. Come, Mephostopholis, let's now attend the Emperor. [Exit Faust. and Meph. Enter Horse-courser, and Cartor, with Pots of Ale. Cart. Here's to thee; and now I'll tell thee what I came hither for: You have heard of a Conjurer they call Doctor Faustus. Hors. Heard of him, a Plague take him, I have Cause to know him; has he played any Pranks with you? Cart. I'll tell thee, as I was going to the Market a while ago, with a Load of Hay, he met me, and asked me, What he should give me for as much Hay as his Horse would Eat: Now, Sir, I thinking that a little would serve his Turn, bade him take as much as he would for Three Farthings. Hors. So. Cart. So he presently gave me Money, and fell to Eating: And as I'm a cursen Man, he never left Yeating and Yeating, till he had eaten up my whole Load of Hay. Hors. Now you shall hear how he served me: I went to him Yesterday to buy a Horse of him, which I did; and he bade me be sure not to ride him into the Water. Cart. Good. Hors. Ad's Wounds 'twas Bad, as you shall hear: For I thinking the Horse had some rare Quality, that he would not have me know, what do me I but rides him in the Water; and when I came just in the midst of the River, I found myself a Straddle on a Bottle of Hay. Cart. O rare Doctor! Hors. But you shall hear how I served him bravely for it; for finding him a Sleep just now in a By-Field, I whooped and hollowed in his Ears, but could not wake him; so I took hold of his Leg, and never left pulling till I had pulled it quite off. Cart. And has the Doctor but one Leg then? That's Rare. But come, this is his House, let's in and see for our Money; look you, we'll pay as we come back. Hors. Done, done; and when we have got our Money let's laugh at his one Leg: Ha, ha, ha. [Exeunt Laughing. Enter Hostess. Host. What have the Rogues left my Pots, and run away, without paying their Reckoning? I'll after 'em, cheating Villains, Rogues, Cutpurses; rob a poor Woman, cheat the Spittle, and rob the King of his Excise; a parcel of Rustic, Clownish, Pedantical, High-shooed, Plow-jobbing, Cart-driving, Pinch-backed, Paralytic, Fumbling, Grumbling, Bellowing, Yellowing, Peas-picking, Stinking, Mangy, Runagate, Ill-begotten, Ill-contrived, Wry-mouthed, Spatrifying, Dunghill-raking, Costive, Snorting, Sweaty, Farting, Whaw●rover Dogs. [Exit. Enter Faustus. Faust. My Time draws near, and 20 Years are past: I have but Four poor Twelve Months for my Life, and then I am damned for ever. Enter an Old Man. Old M. O gentle Faustus, leave this damned Art; this Magic, that will charm thy Soul to Hell, and quite bereave thee of Salvation: Though thou hast now offended like a Man, do not, oh! do not persist in't like a Devil. It may be this my Exhortation seems harsh, and all unpleasant; let it not, for, gentle Son, I speak in tender Love and Pity of thy future Misery; and so have hope that this my kind Rebuke, checking thy Body, may preserve thy Soul. Faust. Where art thou, Faustus? Wretch, what hast thou done? O Friend, I feel thy Words to comfort my distressed Soul; retire, and let me ponder on my Sins. Old M. Faustus, I leave thee, but with grief of Heart, Fearing thy Enemy will near depart. [Exit. Enter Mephostopholis Meph. Thou Traitor, I arrest thee for Disobedience to thy Sovereign Lord; revolt, or I'll in piecemeal tear thy Flesh. Faust. I do repent I e'er offended him; torment, sweet Friend, that old Man that durst dissuade me from thy Lucifer. Meph. His Faith is great, I cannot touch his Soul; but What I can afflict his Body with I will. Enter Horse-courser and Carter. Hors. We are come to drink a Health to your wooden Leg. Faust. My wooden Leg; what dost thou mean, Friend? Hors. Ha, ha! he has forgot his Leg. Cart. Psha, 'tis not a Leg he stands upon. Pray, let me ask you one Question; Are both your Legs Bedfellows? Faust. Why dost thou ask? Cart. Because I believe you have a good Companion of one. Hors. Why, don't you remember I pulled off one o'your Legs when you were a Sleep? Faust. But I have it again now I am awake. Cart. Ad's Wounds, had the Doctor three Legs!—. You, Sir, don't you remember you gave a Penny for as much Hay as your Horse would eat, and then eat up my whole Load. Hors. Look you, Mr. Doctor, you must not carry it off so; I come to have the Money again I gave for the Ho-o-o- [Faustus waves his Wand. Cart. And I come to be paid for my Load of Ha-a-a. Enter Hostess. Host. O Mr. Doctor! do you harbour Rogues that bilk poor Folks, and wont pay their Reckon? Who must pay me for my Aaaa [Waves again. Enter Scaramouche. Scar. Mr. Doctor, I can't be quiet for your Devil Mr. Me-o-o— [Waves again. [Exeunt Faustus and Mephostopholis. They all stare at one another, and so go off, crying O, o, o, o- too the Emperor's Palace. Enter Emperor, Faustus, Gent. Guards. Benoolio above. Emp. Wonder of Men, thrice Learned Faustus, Renowned Magician, welcome to our Court; and as thou late didst promise us, I would behold the Famous Alexander fighting with his great Rival Darius, in their true Shapes, and State Majestical. Faust. Your Majesty shall see 'em presently. Ben. It thou bring'st Alexander, or Darius here, I'll be content to be Actaeon, and turn myself to a Stag. Faust. And I'll play Diana, and send you the Horns presently. Enter Darius and Alexander; they Fight: Darius falls. Alexander takes his Crown, and puts it on his Head. [Exit. Darius sinks. Faust. Away, be gone; see, my Gracious Lord, what Beast is that that thrusts his Head out of yon' ' Window. Emp. O wondrous Sight! see tow Horns on young Benoolio's Head; call him, Lords. Lord. What, ho! Benoolio. Ben. A Plague upon you, set me Sleep. Lord. Look up, Benoolio, 'tis the Emperor calls. Ben. The Emperor; O my Head. Faust. And thy Horns hold, 'tis no matter for thy Head. Ben. Doctor, this is your Villainy. Faust. O say not so, Sir; the Doctor has no Skill, if he bring Alexander or Darius here you'll be Actaeon, and turn to a Stag: Therefore, if it please your Majesty, I'll bring a Kennel of Hounds to hunt him. Ho! Helmot, Agiron, Asterot. Ben. Hold, he'll raise a Kennel of Devils. Good, my Lord, entreat. Emp. Prithee remove his Horns, he has done Penance enough. Faust. Away; and remember hereafter you speak well of Scholars. Ben. If Scholars be such Cuckolds to put Horns upon honest men's Heads, I'll ne'er trust Smooth-face and Small-band more: But if I beened revenged, may I be turned to a Gaping Oyster, and drink nothing but Salt-water. Emp. Come, Faustus, in recompense of this high Desert, Thou shalt command the State of Germany, and live beloved of mighty Carol●s. [Exeunt omnes. SCENE a Garden. Lord. Nay, sweet Benoolio, let us sway thy Thoughts from this Attempt against the Conjurer. Ben. My Head is lighter, than it was by the Horns: And yet my Heart's more ponderous than my Head, And pants, until I see the Conjurer dead. 2 Lord. Consider. Ben. Away dissuade me not he comes: [Draws. Enter Faustus with a false Head. Now Sword strike home: For Horns he gave, I'll have his Head anon. Runs Faustus through, he falls. Faust. Oh, oh. 〈…〉 Cuts his Head off. Lord. 〈…〉 Ben. First, on this Scull, in quittance of my Wrongs, I'll nail huge forked Horns within the Window where he yoked me first, that all the World may see my just Revenge; and thus having settled his Head— Faust. What shall the Body do, Gentlemen. Ben. The Devil's alive again? Lord. Give the Devil his Head again. Faust. Nay, keep it; Faustus will have Heads and Hands: I call your Hearts to recompense this Deed. Ho; Asteroth, Belinooth, Mephostopholis. Enter Devils, and Horse 'em upon others. Go Horse these Traitors on your fiery Backs. Drag 'em through Dir● and Mud, through Thorns and Briers. Lord. Pity us, gentle Faustus, save our Lives. Faust. Away. Ben. He must needs go whom the Devil drives. [Spirits fly away. Exit Faustus. SCENE a Hall. Enter Harlequin in a Beggar's Hebit. Harl. I find this Scaramouche is a Villain; he has left the Doctor, and is come to be Steward to a rich Widow, whose Husband died Yesterday, and here he is coming to give the Poor their Doles, of which I'll ha' my Share. Scaramouche, and poor People, with a Basket of Bread and Money. Scar. Come hither, poor Devils; stand in Order, and be Damned. I come to distribute what your deceased good Master hath bequeathed. [They all stare at Scar. Harl. God bless you, Mr. Steward. Scar. Let me tell you, Gentlemen, he was as good a Man as ever pissed, or cried Stand on the Highway. [Scaramouche takes out a Loaf and a Shilling, holds it out, and Harlequin takes it. He spent a good Estate, 'tis true; but he was no Body's Foe but his own. I never left him while he was worth a Groat, [Again.] He would now and then Curse in his Passion, and give a Soul to the Devil, or so; yet, what of that? He always paid his Club, and no Man can say he owes this. [Again.] He had a Colt's Tooth, and over-laid one of his Maids; yet, what of that? All Flesh is frail. [Again.] 'Tis thought that her Body worked him off on his Legs; why, what of that? his Legs were his own, and his Arse never hung in your Light. [Again.] Sometimes, you'll say, he would rap out an Oath; what then, Words are but Wind, and he meant no more harm than a sucking Pig does by squeaking. [Again.] Now let's consider his good Deeds; he brewed a Firkin of strong Drink for the poor every Year, and killed an old Ram every Easter: The Meat that was stale, and his Drink that was sour, was always yours. [Again.] He allowed you in Harvest to Glean after his Rake. [Again.] And now, at his Death, has given you all this. [Again. Scar. So, setting the Here's Head against the Goose Giblets, he was a good Hospitable Man; and much good may do you with what you had. Poor. I have had nothing. 2 Poor. Nor I. 3 Po. Nor I. 4. Po. Nor. I. Scar. Nothing. All. Nothing, nothing. Scar. Nothing, nothing; you lying Rogues, then there's something for you. [Beats 'em all off. Enter Harlequin in a Cloak, laughing. Har. So now I am Victualled, I may hold our Siege against Hunger. [A Noise within; this way, this way. Ha! they are hunting a after me, and will kill me. Let me see, I will take this Gibbet for my Preserver, and with this long Cloak make as if I were hanged. Now when they find a Man hanged, not knowing me in this Disguise, they'll look no farther after me, but think the Thief 's hanged.— I hear 'em coming. [Throws himself off the Ladder. Enter Scaramouche. Scar. Ha! what's here, a Man hanged? But what Paper is this is his Hand? Whilst Scaramouche reads, Harlequin puts the Rope over him. I have cheated the Poor of their Money, and took the Bread out of their Mouths, for which I was much troubled in Conscience, fell into Dispair, and, as you see, hanged myself. [Pulls him up, and runs out. O the Devil! Murder, murder! Enter Poor. Poor. O Neighbours, here hangs the Rogue. Scar. Help me down? Poor. No, you are very well as you are. Scar. Don't you know me? Poor. Ay, for a Rogue; e'en finish your Work, and save the Hangman a Labour. Yet, now I think on't, self-murder is a crying Sin, and may damn his Soul. Come, Neighbours, we'll take him down, and have him hanged according to Law. [When he 's down he trips up their Heels, and runs out, they after him. All. Stop Thief, stop Thief. Thunder and Lightning; Lucifer, Beelzebub, and Mephostopholis. Luc. Thus from the infernal Dis do we ascend, bringing with us the Deed; the Time is come which makes it forfeit. Enter Faustus, an old Man, and a Scholar. Old M. Yet, Faustus, call on Heaven. Faust. Oh! 'tis too late; behold, they lock my Hands. Old M. Who, Faustus? Faust. Lucifer and Mephostopholis; I gave 'em my Soul for Four and twenty Years. Old M. Heaven forbid. Fau. Ay, Heaven forbade it indeed, but Faustus has done it; for the vain Pleasure of Four and twenty Years, Faustus' has lost eternal Joy and Felicity: I writ 'em a Bill with my own Blood, the Date is expired; this is the Time, and they are come to fetch me. Old M. Why would not Faustus tell me of that before? Faust. I oft intended it, but the Devil threatened to tear me in Pieces. O Friend, retire and save yourself. Old M. I'll into the next Room, and their prey for thee. Faust. Ay, pray for me; and what Noise soever you hear stir not, for nothing can rescue me. Old M. Pray thou, and I'll pray. Adieu. Faust. If I live till Morning I'll visit you; if not, Faustus is gone to Hell. [Exeunt old Man and Scholar. Meph. Ay, Faustus, now thou hast no hopes on Heaven. Faust. O thou bewitching Fiend; 'twas thou, and thy Temptations, hath robbed me of eternal Happiness. Meph. I do confess it, Faustus, and rejoice. What weep'st thou, 'tis too late; hark to thy knell: Fools that will Laugh on Earth, must Weep in Hell. Ext. Good and bad Angel descend. Good An. O Faustus, if thou hadst given Ear to me, Innumerable Joys had followed thee: But thou didst love the World. Bad An. Gave Ear to me, and now must taste Hell's Pains perpetual. Throne of Heaven appears. Good An. Hadst thou affected sweet Divinity, Hell, nor the Devil, had no Power on thee. Hadst thou kept on that way, Faustus, behold in what resplended Glory thou hadst sat; that hast thou Lost. And now, poor Soul, must thy good Angel leave: The Jaws of Hell are ready to receive thee. [Ascend. Hell is discovered. Bad An. Now, Faustus, let thy Eyes with Horror stare Into that Vast perpetual torturing House. Faust. O I have seen enough to torture me. Bad An. Nay thou must feel 'em, ' taste the Smart of all. He that loves Pleasure must for Pleasure fall: And so I leave thee, Faustus, till anon. Thou'lt tumble into Confusion. [Descends. The Clock strikes Eleven. Faust. Now, Faustus, hast thou but one bear Hour to Live, And then thou must be Damned perpetually: Stand still you ever-moving Spheres of Heaven, That Time may cease, and Midnight never come. Or let this Hour be but a Year, a Month, a Week, a natural Day; that Faustus may repent, and save his Soul. Mountains and Hills come, come, and fall on me, and hide me from the heavy Wrath of Heaven. Gape Earth; Oh no, it will not harbour me. [The Clock strikes. Oh! half the Hour is past; 'twill all be past anon. Oh! if my Soul must suffer for my Sin, impose some end to my incessant Pain. Let Faustus live in Hell a Thousand Years, an Hundred thousand, and at last be saved. [Strikes Twelve. No End is limited to damned Souls: It strikes, it strikes. Now, Body, turn to Air, to Earth, or Water. Oh! avoid the Fire: They come. Oh! mercy, Heaven; ugly Hell gape not. Come not Lucifer; O Mephostopholis. [Sink with Devils. Thunder. Enter old Man and Scholar. Old M. Come, Friend, let's visit Faustus: For such a dreadful Night was never seen. Scene discovers Faustus's Limbs. Scholar O help us, Heaven; see here are Faustus' Limbs, All torn asunder by the Hand of Hell. Old M. May this a fair Example be to all, To avoid such Ways which brought poor Faustus' Fall. And whatsoever Pleasure does invite, Sell not your Souls to purchase vain Delight. [Exeunt. Scene changes to Hell. Faustus' Limbs come together. A Dance, and Sung. FINIS.