Jesuita Uapulans:  
Or a Whip for the Fool's Back, and a Gag for his Foul Mouth, in a just Vindication of Sixteen Noble Peers of the Realm, Petitioning His Majesty.  
THis licentious Age doth abound with so many unclean Spirits, like Frogs, Rev. 16. 13. As not only creep into King's Palaces, as the Frogs of Egypt did into the King's very Chamber, to croak in his Face, and to crawl on his Bosom, when neither Walls not Weapons, Barrs nor Bolts, could keep them out, Exod. 8. 1, 3, 4, 6. But dare also croak there with their continual [Break, ke kex coax coax] (as Aristophanes phraseth it) out of their black Mouths, and bespatter some principal Peers of our Realm, for no other Fault, but because they desire,  
Their sovereign to preserve, these Kingdoms free,  
From popish Cutthroats, and Egypt's Slavery.  
Those Spiritual Fathers (the Jesuits, who are the Pope's Janissaries, and ultimus Diaboli crepitus, the last Crack-Fart of a daring Devil) are called Frogs, for their Loquacity, Impudence, and Impurity. 'Tis a thousand pities, that the famous White-Hall, should harbour any such Black-mouthed Creatures, with all those three Black-brands upon them; I dare say, 'tis not cum Privilegio, as the dirty Dogs do bark at the splendid Moon, which yet keeps her Course, and continues her Lustre, notwithstanding their Barking: So those croaking Frogs do endeavour to darken some Stars of the first magnitude in our British Sphere, with their Outcries against them; yet I doubt not, but those Noble Peers will maintain their Grandeur and Splendour, notwithstanding their Croaking. 'Tis a thousand pities, such Scandalum magnatum may now sculk so under unknown Masqueradoes, as to scape Scot-free with their pretended Letters from Scotland, (though writ at home) against such NoblePeers, and Loyal Statesmen. Aesop's Frog is deemed an able and courageous Champion, that durst encounter the silly Mouse, and run a Tilt at him with a Bulrush for his Spear; but this Pamphleteer is a bolder Frog, yea a more daring Devil, (or unclean Spirit) who dare encounter no less than sixteen at once, (when Hercules himself durst not contend with two at one time, Ne Hercules contra duos) and those sixteen all great Peers of the Land: This is an Enterprise dignum tanto, worthy of a poor Frog to undertake. Assuredly he conceited himself to be that other Frog of Aesop's, who would needs swell and stretch himself out, till he became as big as an Ox; but the issue was, he broke himself all asunder, and so perished. The like Fate may in due time befall this Bombasting Bragadocio, and over bold undertaker. Or perhaps he fancied himself of the Offspring of those, (the Poet mentioned) who waged War against Jove himself, (subjectum Pelion Ossae etc. Throwing great Trees, huge Rocks, and vast Mountains against Heaven, to throw Jupiter out of his Throne, but they were answered with hot Thunderbolts, whereby that Giganto machia had a Period put to it in the Giant's Destruction. Or lastly, he might imagine himself to descend from the Zamzummims, Deut. 2. 20. Those big and boisterous Men, that durst bid defiance to the true Jehovah, and challenge him to a Duel, whom yet the Lord destroyed before Israel. This Thrasonical Libeler feareth none of these Fates, daring to outdare both God and Man, yea great, and the greatest of Men: And if he falls in his Essay, (as fond Phaeton did in his) with my consent he shall have Phaeton's Epitaph writ upon his Tomb, (may he be capable of that Honour) only with change of the Name and Employ:  
Hic situs est Thraso, Baronum contaminator,  
Quo si non valuit, magnis tamen excidit ausis.  
And how can he hope for any better success than a Fall, to fight against so many Grand Heroes all at once, and that with no better a Weapon than that Spear of the Frog aforesaid, to wit, a poor Bulrush? All his Arguments he urgeth against them are not worth a Rush, and no better than a Bulrush, as the Sequel evidenceth.  
The Observation whereof, looseth my long silent Tongue, (as danger did the dumb Son of Croesus, who all on the sudden cried out, kill not King Croesus). Facit indignatio versum. A just Indignation at this sordid Sycophant, and Pickthank Parasite, hath constrained me to cry out, Undo not the King, and his Kingdoms, with your precipitant Counsels, and your prejudicated Suggestions; undo not yourself, who like the silly Wezel, who dare nibble at the Heels of a Lion, that saith, nemo me impune lacessit, whom the provoked Beast easily destroys with his Paw, how much more a Nibler at the Heels of so many Lions at once? One that casteth so much Dirt upon them, is in the high way to be destroyed, and the Nobles themselves not much damaged thereby? For if Dirt be cast upon a Mudwall, it may possibly stick, but it cannot do so upon Marble.  
This scurrilous Libeler (as suspecting his own strength in his Essay) doth supply with Policy his want of power and prowess.  Dolus an virtus; quis in h●ste requirat. 
He therefore first singleth out the Noble Earl of Essex, (that brave Patriot for his King and Kingdom,) as their Forlorn Hope, which could he but rout, then will he fall foul upon the main Body, that stood in a double File, or two in a Rank behind him. And in pursuance of this project he first assaults that single Earl, with subtle Insinuations, dipping his Nail (he had to drive) in Oil, to make it drive the deeper, not only to the Head, but to the Heart also. Thus like the Devil (he accosts the Earl with Flattering, before he come to his Frowning Work, which he comes to in the second place. Not only frowning upon the Earl, in telling him that he threatens his Majesty (which his humble offer of Advice (as he saith there) can in no Grammatical sense without notorious wresting be interpreted) but also in giving that Noble Peer (Tantamont) the Lie, in upbraiding him with his weak Observation without the least ground in History, as if this obscure Whiffler (ashamed of his own Name) knew more both of the History and Mystery of our State than all those sixteen Lords, and all other the wisest of Statesmen.  
However, he craftily quotes Baker's Chronicle only, and because he there found nothing of the Parliament at Clarendon, in Henry the II.'s Time, therefore he affronts the Earl with telling an Untruth: and he saith, the cause of that King's Unhappiness was from ambitious and discontented Grandees: But had he consulted Fuller's Church History, Cent. 12. lib. 3. pag. 32. and Prideauxes Introduction, pag. 319. edit. 2. (both of them true Sons of the Church, and under Prelatical Order) he would have found there, that the Parliament was called at Clarendon, to retrench the Enormities of the Clergy, where the Foundation of a Feud was laid, not so much 'twixt him and any ambitious Nobles, (as the Pamphlet hinteth) as betwixt him, and that Traitor-Saint, Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, who was a stubborn Patronizer of the debauched Clergy, with whom that King had many Bicker; and 'twas not the Secular Lords (as this Whiffler saith) but this proud Spiritual Lord, Becket, who fomented the Difference betwixt this King, and Lewis the French King, Fuller, p. 33. with whom his own Son Henry sided against him, p. 40. And as to Henry the III. this Pamphleteer might have consulted the two forenamed Authors, as well as Baker, and there he would have found likewise something of an Insanum Parliamentum at Oxford, which proved prejudicial to Regality, Prideaux, p. 322. and how his immoderate and exasperating Favours cast upon Strangers drew on the Baron's Wars; and that the King's Nonage, after his Full-age, (such was his Weakness of Spirit, and Lowness of Resolution) was a great Cause of his Trouble, Fuller, ut supra, p. 55. who further saith, That the Barons had then too much Matter whereon justly to ground their Discontent; partly, because the King, distrusting his own Native Subjects, employed so many French Foreigners in Places of Power and Profit; and partly, because he had used such indirect Courses to recruit his Treasuries, etc. More at large, Fuller, ibid. p. 66. Sect. 33. Yet was he happy in this, to redress all his Errors before he died, Sect. 38. granting that good Magna Charta, etc.  
As to Henry the VI our Libeler shuffles that up, and never quotes Baker, (as he might have done) who tells us, how the Duke of York first began to whisper for the Crown, p. 188 Col. 2. then secondly, made his way to the Crown, p. 190. Col. 1. After all this, takes the Oath of Allegiance to Henry the VI p. 192. Col. 2. whom he cast out of his Throne, (notwithstanding his Oath of Fidelity two several times,) there being no less than four Changes in his Reign. But not a word of this must we hear from him, lest that should create the like Fears about the Duke of York at this time: For than did Richard Duke of York (Edward the IV.'s Father) get it confirmed by Parliament, to be Heir Apparent of the Crown; and this is the great Contest of this Day. Neither doth he mention that Parliament held at Coventry, (which that Honourable Lord in his Humble Address hinteth at) wherein the Duke of York was convicted of High-Treason, and all his Lands and Goods confiscate to the King. This also had a Noli me tangere upon it, as being, like the aforesaid, unsuitable to his Design, though his Baker, whom he only quotes, do speak fully to all this, p. 396. Col. 1.  
As to the Body of the Petition, I observe, this Libeler is a fast Friend to the plotting Papists, and would give us a Diversion from that kind of cattle to the Presbyterians, (whom he judges Far worse) as if he had an hand in the Meal-Tub Intrigue.  Dat veniam Corvis, vexat Censura Columbas.