A NEW-YEARS-GIFT To the TORIES: Or a few Sober Queries concerning them.  
By an Honest TRIMMER.  

I. WHether the Tories debauching the Sacrament to such base and low ends, as to procure Licenses for Alehouses, be any part of our Religion established by Law?  
II. Whether the Tories by forcing the Dissenters to come to Church, do make them any jot the more for the Church of England than they were before? and if not,  
III. Whether any man ever saw such a deal of fooling for nothing? and yet,  
FOUR Whether Dissenters ought not in Prudence (to prevent their own and the Nations ruin) rather play the fool with their Neighbours, and Conform, and trust God with their Souls, than such K—s with their Rights, Liberties and Estates, as gape after them.  
V. Whether the Tories are not more mad with Dissenters for coming to Church, than they were for their going to Conventicles? and therefore,  
VI The Dissenters cannot go to Church out of Piety, yet whether they ought not to go out of spite?  
VII. Whether the Jews at Dukes-place, and the Papists all the Land over, are of the Religion established by Law, or it for them, for not one man of them suffers for their Dissenting? and then,  
VIII. Whether it be not a notable Tory-Protestant-Religion established by Law, that can be so kind to Jews and Papists, and so cursed only to Dissenting-Protestants?  
IX. Whether any thing but a Tory Understanding could ever have thought that the only expedient to keep out Popery was to fall upon and ruin Protestants, and the best way to secure the Protestant Religion to make sure of a Popish Prince?  
X. Whether the tenderhearted Tories (that cry out, God forbid that the D. of Y. should suffer because he differs in his Religion) are not the Engines that so barbarously Prosecute Dissenting-Protestants, because they differ only in Religion?  
XI. Whether while the Prohibiting Act is in force, and our Church takes the Communion in Claret, we are of the Religion established by Law?  
XII. Whether poor Parson Duffee be not rather to be pitied as a Fool than Punished as a Knave, for his so unseasonable going to Mass, just as the Mass was coming to him.  
XIII. Whether the severe usage of that Fop ought not to be a Warning to all his Tantive Brethren not to go before their Betters, nor like ill entered Whelps to yelp and open before their time?  
XIIII. Whether Roger Lestrange did well con over his Politics in snarling so horribly against the Trimmers?  
XV. Whether it be not enough to make a prudent man spew, to hear Hodge and his Tories tattle gravely of Policy and Religion?  
XVI. Whether any Tory in England be of any other Religion than the Tories in Ireland.  
XVII. Whether any man ever trusted one Tory that did not betray him? and therefore,  
XVIII. Whether all true Englishmen do not now see (God be thanked) that Tories and Traitors are terms Synonimous, and that the Devil is as soon to be trusted as they?  
XIX. Whether ever any Tory desired any trust from the People, for any other end than that by Betraying them he might make up his Market, and purchase to himself some place of Preferment?  
XX. Whether a Tory talks sense of any other thing but of Drink and a Whore? and if not,  
XXI. Whether he were not better to keep to his own Talent the Whore and the Bottle, than to make such a bawling about Religion and Government, which he understands not?  
XXII. Whether it be not more than an equal Wager that our Tories are plum at a stand, and at such an utter loss, that the wisest amongst them cannot tell what step to take next? and if so.  
XXIII. Whether the Government will not be finely brought to Bed, and handed down to Posterity under a brave Reputation, that shall yield itself up to the conduct of such Bruits?    

LONDON, Printed for Francis Smith Sen. at the Elephant and Castle in Cornhill, 1682/3.